#my auntie has this one

[13thpythagoras]

TiL but Chron's disease is likely to be reversable with high-grade cannabis oil i.e. RSO

[everysongineverykey]

i love how unfatherly crowley and aziraphale both are when it comes down to it. sure aziraphale is more than willing to give the young people in his life help and advice and be their friend but he and crowley spent six years (eleven in the book) practically raising a kid (you just know his parents weren't around that often) and by the end they didn't even like him. crowley even suggested they just fucking kill him. he turned three kids into lizards for annoying him right after he destroyed their house. like it was that or kill them obviously but he did NOT hesitate with the newts. that's so funny to me. they're just inherently disinclined to parenthood. we need more characters like them actually

[overcrowded-camp]

auntie ethel’s conversation with durge in the grove is so well written. if you tell her about your dark thoughts she tells you that thinking about something is the first step to doing it. then she invites you to her teahouse. durge exposes a weakness to her (fear of hurting someone) and she strikes at it like a viper (tells them that they WILL hurt someone unless they get Her Help Specifically). it’s just so well done.

[lemongogo]

me admitting that i dont hate ast*rion after all .

[foxsoulcourt]

variations on green : February edition

[chrollohearttags]

a good month for me (a spooky bitch who loves Halloween and dressing up). A bad month for me. (A bitch with severe arachnophobia to the point I get panic attacks)

[softquietsteadylove]

Birdie, I've got an idea for Valentine's Day! 🖤✨

Jack is asking his uncle Gilgamesh for an advice for Valentine's Day. So he and Gil are baking heart shaped cookies for their loved ones. On Valentine's Day Jack is giving his cookies to Thena because he loves his aunt very much and Phastos is complaining because he doesn't get a single heart shaped cookie.

Hugs and Love🖤✨

"Did you find out who it is?"

"No," Phastos huffed, watching from around the corner as Jack held up a decorated cookie for Gil to examine and certify. "He won't tell me."

"Perhaps it's best left alone," Ben posited from his chair, much more relaxed than his husband. "If he's not ready to tell us, he's not ready. He is only 11, habibi."

"Exactly, he's just a kid," Phastos hissed back at his partner. He looked back into the kitchen, where Jack was trying to sneak another taste of icing. At least Gil had taken seriously that Jack could not eat that much raw egg safely. He could like the cookie dough spoon, that was it. "He's too young for this."

Ben sighed, shutting his book and standing to join his husband. He slid his hand up his back gently, "well, some humans develop those kinds of feelings early. It's probably just a little crush."

"Little crush my ass," Phastos grumbled in response. He looked at Ben, "he's my kid too, and Eternals love...intensely."

Ben simply nodded, knowing very well that every bond the Eternals had tended to span thousands of years.

"Why are you spying on them?"

"F-!" Phastos sucked his lip between his teeth before he could let out a curse that would rattle even his superpowered glass windows. He glared at his sister, "T, I swear to god, okay?"

"What?" the Warrior Eternal merely blinked at him, still soft around the edges from her nap. She looked into the kitchen as well. "They seem to be enjoying themselves. What is the occasion?"

"Valentine's?" Phastos prompted, only to be met with Thena's 'statue face'. He rolled his eyes, "poor Gil, stuck with you for every damn one of 'em."

Thena pursed her lips at her brother before reaching up and pinching his side. "I will have you know, Gilgamesh prefers to take the lead on such occasions. I participate--that is enough for him."

"I'm sure it is," Ben assuaged, eager to get in between the two immortal beings who bickered like children. "Jack asked Gil for help making the cookies just after you went back to your room."

"Hm," Thena tilted her head at the scene. "Gil often makes something for this day; there is no secret to it."

"Well, this time, there was," Phastos muttered darkly, back to spying. He glared as Jack laughed and Gil patted his shoulder. Phastos turned back to Ben, "he knows I'm his dad, right? We can help him with this stuff!"

"Phastos," his husband chided instead of comforted, back to rubbing his back. "This is what it's like for kids to have uncles and aunts. They get to enjoy their company in a way that's different from ours."

"You go ask," Phastos prompted, shoving Thena away from him and in the direction of the kitchen. She glowered at him for it.

"Ask what?" she seethed at him, raising her fist to punch him in return.

Ben slid in between them again, again trying to mediate their typical family squabbles. "Who the cookies are for. He wouldn't tell when Phastos asked."

"Hm," Thena blinked, but accepted conditions. She turned away from Ben and lowered her fist, "Jack?"

Phastos kissed Ben's temple, "good save."

"Aunt Thena, you're up!" he turned in his chair, getting up on his knees and leaning against the back of it to beam at her. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"It was lovely," she smiled down at her precious human nephew. She tilted her head, admiring the bounty behind him. "You have been making confections."

"Uncle Gil!"

"It's okay buddy, it wasn't like we were gonna be able to keep 'em secret for long," Gil chuckled as he stood from his chair. He wrapped his arm around Thena's waist, pressing his forehead to hers. "Get some rest?"

"I did," she promised her own partner and husband as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Ahem!!!"

Both Eternals parted, glaring at their agitated brother briefly. Thena looked down at Jack, who was nibbling on his little lip. "Who shall receive your hard work, Jack?"

"Well," the boy fidgeted, his expression shy. His fathers held hands behind his uncle and aunt, but Jack stood from the chair and took Thena's hand. He pulled gently, guiding her to sit where he had been. He turned the plate, on which he had arranged all the heart shaped cookies into one big heart shape. "They're for you, Aunt Thena."

Thena blinked at the platter of cookies. They were all frosted, with varying degrees of colour and skill. They were soft, white sugar cookies with red icing on them. "Me?"

"Of course," Phastos huffed behind them, but was shushed by Ben.

"Valentine's is kinda cringe, but it doesn't have to be for, like, love-stuff," Jack shrugged. "At least that's what they said at school. They said we could do something for our favourite person."

"My own son," Phastos continued to lament.

"So," Jack looked up at Gil, who nodded for him to keep going. "I asked Uncle Gil if he would help me make some cookies for you. But I cracked the eggs perfect! And I decorated all of these ones."

Thena smiled, picking up one of the more grotesque, early experiments. She took a bite, smiling as she chewed the soft, buttery cookie. "They're perfect."

"Really?" Jack lit up.

"Partake in your spoils," she said as she handed him one. "Thank you, Jack. I daresay you are my favourite as well."

"Hey Jack," Phastos inched forward as his son wolfed down one of his own cookies. "Are any of those for your old man, maybe?"

Jack just stared. "You can ask Aunt Thena."

Phastos glared at her , though. "T, remember-"

"Ben may have some."

"Oh, come on!"

Gilgamesh stood aside, laughing at Thena's innate desire to be petty with their brother. He slapped the back of Phastos' shoulder as Ben did sneak in to steal one for himself. "I mean you should've seen that coming, man."

"You guys are married," Jack gesticulated, pointing at the two couples in front of him respectively. "You got each other stuff for today, right? You don't need me to do anything."

Phastos continued to pout about how his own child made his sister cookies but none for him. But Ben smiled, "that's right, we did get each other gifts for today. It was very nice of you to make something for your Aunt Thena, Jack."

Thena moved from the chair to let Jack sit again, "but I shall need help eating all these. Jack, if you would be so kind...?"

"Sure!" It didn't take much to convince him.

Ben led Phastos into the living room to nurse his wounds, while Gil pulled Thena to his side again, further up the table. She sighed as he pressed his lips to her cheek, "is this what you did all afternoon?"

"Yep," Gil whispered. "I think he waited for you to have a nap so he could surprise you."

"It's rather sweet," she smiled at the image of her nephew enjoying a few more cookies. She looked down at this plate, decorated significantly differently. "And these?"

"For you," her lover confirmed, holding one up to display the meticulous design he'd made. "It's Australia!"

It looked like a smear of dirt in a sea of blue.

"Don't worry, I made my own preparations for today," he whispered before nipping at her ear, promising fun more than just some cookies.

"Hm," Thena purred, allowing him to kiss behind her ear and down her neck in their small window of privacy. "You do love this particular occasion."

"Damn right I do," he said against the soft skin of her shoulder, just inside the collar of her dress. "An excuse to lavish my wife with gifts and attention? And make love like wild animals-"

"AHEM!!!"

Gil sighed as he pulled away from her to also glare at Phastos, "what, dude?--don't you also have lavishing to do?"

"Not in the kitchen I don't," Phastos snapped with his hands on his hips. "None of us are having a romantic time until 9 o'clock anyway."

That was Jack's bed time.

"So we're gonna go out for a nice family dinner instead," he declared firmly, as if it were a mission order, and not an invitation to a nice restaurant. He slapped his coat over his arm, "and you two are gonna behave!"

"We always behave," Gil rolled his eyes, following Phastos into the living room and front hall to also retrieve his and Thena's coats.

"Nuh-uh, no, I mean it Gil," Phastos snapped in his brother's face as they both glared at each other amidst helping their partners into their own coats. "No ooey-gooey eyes, no playing footsies under the table, no sneakin' off to the bathroom."

"What if he has to go?" Jack asked much more innocently as he retrieved his own coat. He smiled as Thena held it out for him the same way Gil had done for her.

"That's not-" Phastos sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "Okay, never mind, family dinner, let's go."

[hauntedfalcon]

Auntie Bee going down with her first scar, thinking about how she had told Jean to "be mentally prepared if he's too far gone," was not only Beatrix believing Jean was the only other one who could end Sean, and it was not only Marisha setting Zehra up for a We Saw This Coming that she would have had to use while Beatrix was unconscious and unable to help, but it was also Beatrix having believed the whole time that it was really Sean hunting them, even though Marisha didn't have confirmation until Spenser said the word blood. :)

[antisocialgaycat]

Someday tumblr is going to be gone, or I will, and that's ok. It's sad, yes, but at least I will have known you. At least I'll still be able to quote terrible posts with my friends, at least I'll be able to look back and remember all these people who are closer to me than anyone I knew before. This site has gotten shit, but at least we've been here together. At least I met you.

[deus-ex-mona]

rage is a ✨way of life✨

[midnightfangz]

There's something about silly cafe AUs that soothes my soul so much

[roonilwazlibimagines]

[isa-ah]

sorry I could talk for hours. I've done an insane amount of character building w Isaiah over the years

[lcaspbrak]

being a kpop fan on main. I can't believe skz family is coming back

[pixelated-jellifishi]

hhhh why are all my family members turning weird as it gets closer to my birthday?? POR QUÉ??? LET ME LIVEE LET ME LIVEEE T-T

[anxiousbabybird]

I’m weirdly proud of this but I had to make a “shoebox float” for my nieces Kindergarten Derby parade at school tomorrow and I’m showing everyone 😂

In other news, I’ve realized I’m going to be a super competitive mom one day and that definitely made me think of some HCs with the men I love tonight lol