#my baby coding

[thefrsers]

requested by Anon: Bobby + holding the baby in 7.07

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[themightyrancho]

Bill calling Stan "PTSD Barnum" is SO FUNNY

[iite-cool]

he can't be gentle. how could he possibly be something that was beaten out of him so cruelly at such a young age?

you don't get soft fingers dancing lightly along your hairline as you sleep on his lap, no, you get a large, calloused paw brushing back your hair so he can see your pretty, pretty features better cos it was annoying him. he can't hold your hand don't be daft he'll crack your smaller bones in half... is the reasoning that he hopes will convince himself to stop fucking thinking about playing with your pretty fingers and pressing soft kisses to them. he's not soft! he's a killing machine! he knows nothing but anger and rage and numbness. so what is this strange fuzzy sensation in the hollow hole in his chest that's bothering him? why does it feel good? why is it making him fucking smile?

when he curls his mass around your sleeping body, don't be mistaken. he doesn't want to feel the way you fit perfectly against him. he's just.. trying to swallow you whole. he's not trying to get closer to you no no he's actually attempting to steal your joy. it's not as if you lessen the, thus far, endless and overwhelming burden of his corporeal blight oh no he's just using you.

everytime he presses his mouth against you and doesn't suck your blood out, he reasons that he's practising self-control and instead forcing himself to leave featherlight kisses that make you giggle oh so sweetly even when he knows deep down that he'd pluck out every one of his own teeth if even one dared puncture your skin. simon's not a soft man. he's not a gentle man. he's killed countless with the very hands that you play with. he tells himself you mean nothing to him, that he could walk away and forget you whenever he felt like it but everytime he wishes that his fingers were softer so that they may be more pleasant upon your skin and everytime he wishes that his lips were less chapped so that you may kiss him more, he knows he's fighting a losing battle.

simon riley will become a soft and gentle man in your embrace and there's not one thing he can do to prevent it.

masterlist

pls comment i have so many thoughts about this man that need to be talked about xx

[moonyflesh]

((did anyone notice that when he allows a single tear, it’s ALWAYS from his right eye? i just found that interesting))

[❤️‍🩹]

Oscar Isaac characters crying.

[queer-reader-07]

i saw a post that said that Crowley coded people are usually Aziraphale stans and Aziraphale coded people are Crowley stans and i laughed a little cuz like “hah that’s funny and kinda true”

but the more i think about the more it’s hitting me how accurate that statement is to me. i consider myself a more Crowley coded person because i related to him a lot more than i related to Aziraphale.

i related to how he shows love and his relationship with authority and his endless desire to ask questions and learn and his fierce defensiveness and protectiveness of the people (or singular being) he loves and his absolute adoration of the world and humanity and his undeniable optimism shrouded in a veil of cynicism. i don’t think i can articulate just how much all of those things hit home for me.

like Crowley is me in so many ways and i am him.

and yet. who am i out here defending like my life depends on it? Aziraphale. i’m not writing long ass metas about why Crowley’s decisions make sense. no, i’m writing those long ass metas about why Aziraphale isn’t really wrong and about how his decisions make perfect sense and about how he doesn’t deserve the hate.

anyways i don’t know what to do with this information now that i have it but it sure is something for me to think about

[spiderdeli]

He helps the local baseball team when he finds the time.

Photo by Martha Kent

[skeletoninthemelonland]

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Going Half (on a Baby) (Toxic!Toji x Black!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot)

Pairing: Toji Fushigiro x Black!Fem!Reader (FWB to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which Toji, your fuck buddy for five years and the man you're secretly in love with, "persuades" you to let him fuck without a condom after he exposes himself for his breeding kink.

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+; Dubcon; TW: R*PE; Coercion; Toxic!Asshole!Toji; “Baby Trapping”; Coerced Verbal Consent (Later Given); Mating Press; Breeding Kink; Toji Eats You Out Till You Cry; Cum Play; DDLG; Toji Calling You “Mommy” and “Mama”; Marking/Hickeys; Dacryphilia; Unprotected PIV Sex; Doggystyle; Mating Press; One Unprotected Creampie; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

*IMPORTANT Writer's Note: This piece of writing is EXTREMELY dark. It has to do with r*pe because Y/N repeatedly says no to and protests Toji's advances, but he does as he wants anyway. In addition, it also has "baby trapping" due to Toji not wearing a condom during PIV sex to intentionally get Y/N pregnant despite her not wanting to. I do not condone any of these acts. This is simply a fantasy and writing. Thank you.

Writer’s Note: I'm a Toji lover. That's my husband. -Jazz

********

You don’t know how it happened.

First, you were just sitting with your FWB of two years, chilling on the couch as you usually do before having sex (at least in the later years when you two grew closer).

Now you’re on your back, legs over his shoulders while he devours your puffy, needy pussy as a way to “prepare” you for the deep fucking he’ll be giving you later. Your hands are tangled in his black hair while his own bigger, calloused, veiny ones have your thighs pinned open wide as his tongue lashes mercilessly at your clit. Two of his thick fingers are stuffed in your cunt, moving in and out of your squelching, tight walls and rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.

"Toji, please!" you whine, tears pricking your eyes from his relentlessness and evil, skillful tongue. "I can't...take much more!" He made you cum at least twice already. The proof is in the cream coating his mouth and the juices that trickle down to your asscrack, making both of your holes sobbing wet.

Toji's eyes glint up at you from between your thighs, his back muscles flexing as bends down to work your pussy with his mouth. "Uh-uh, mama," he teasingly says. "You still gotta cum one more time before I fuck this pussy deep."

He dives back down into the depths of your pussy and continues devouring it, no matter how much you beg and plea for him to stop. You don't know how you got here. An hour earlier, you were just joking around and he had brought up all the things you two hadn't tried yet in your two-year FWB relationship. "We've yet to try anal," he said, his big hand moving to stroke down your stomach to your thighs. "And I've always wanted to try fuckin' you without a condom."

“Boy, stop!” you hollered, smacking his hand away. “You’re just trying to get me pregnant at this point.” You didn't take him seriously as Toji was always talking about kinks and shit he wanted to try with you. He was just a horny motherfucker like that.

But Toji wasn't playing around. As soon as you mentioned him getting you pregnant, something in him shifted–specifically his cock in his pants. The idea of fucking that heavenly pussy of yours raw and cumming inside you without a rubber, filling you up with all of his kids, tempted him immensely. “Well, if you’re offering…” he muttered.

At this, you turned and blinked at him. “What?”

“What?” he repeated, feigning confusion. It wasn't working.

You squinted at him, unsure of whether you heard him right. “You…wanna get me pregnant?” you carefully asked. He shrugged his big shoulders, putting your feet in his lap. “I mean, why not? We’ve known each other for two years and I think you’d look pretty hot as a mommy.”

You gaped at him. You couldn't believe he was really saying this! “Okay, first of all, yes, we’ve known each other for a long time, but we’ve been fucking for two years; not dating. Second, hell no!”

Toji groaned indignantly like a child being told no. "Why not?” he scoffed. “Shit, then I wouldn’t have to wear those stupid ass rubbers no more. I could finally fuck you raw.” A devious glint sparkled in his charcoal eyes, making your stomach flip. “And risk an STI?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He just chuckled at this, cocky as always. “Baby doll, you and I both know we’re clean…unless you’ve been doing someone I don’t know about.” You slowly shook your head at this. He was the only one you were fucking...for right now, anyway. But he was the only one who could do it the way you wanted (and needed). “Then what the fuck are you complainin’ ‘bout?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at you.

Now you were mad. You took your feet out of his lap and stood up in your hip-hugging jeans and sweatshirt. “Toji, you’re talking about giving me a baby. A whole child. We’re not even together!”

Toji stood up now too, a head taller than you and very, very big. He was practically a mountain as he stood before you. “Oh, we’re not? Then why am I always here more than at home?”

“That’s not my fault," you hissed. "You have a choice to not come over here, and I told you from the jump what I wanted from you: sex!” And you were right to do so. Toji was too unpredictable and too much of a whore. He was also divorced and already had a child. Why the fuck would he want another one with you, especially since you aren't married?

Despite how Toji made you feel, with the butterflies in your stomach and the way your heart lept whenever he called, you knew you could never tell him how you felt. It would make things too messy. And Toji is a messy motherfucker already. But you didn't mind being in love with his dick. You wanted to keep things strictly in the bedroom and you thought he understood that.

Toji shrugged, giving you a lazy smirk. “Why not elevate that?” he asked, walking toward you. “C’mooon, baby doll. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about me bussin’ in that pretty pussy raw.”

Your stomach flipped at his vulgar words as you backed away from him, not noticing the wall behind you. “Toji, stop,” you firmly told him. “I don’t like this talk.”

When your body made contact with the wall, Toji put his hand over your head and leaned in so you were trapped between the wall and him. “Then let’s not talk," he whispered. "Let’s just fuck.”

When he began kissing you down with those passionate, hot, wet kisses you loved so much, your mind became drunk off of him. "Toji," you whimpered, your hands on his chest. You weren't if you were trying to push him away or just feeling him up. "We can't...your ex–"

"Is my ex," he grunted against your neck. "We've been divorced for years and Megumi is older now. Besides, he likes you." His fingers crept under your sweatshirt, feeling up on your sides. "I think he might even have a crush on you," he chuckles. "Too bad I'm fuckin' you, right?"

His one hand moved to your chin to tilt your head up, exposing your neck to him. He pushed you against the wall as he began to mark up your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake. "But why?" you moaned.

Toji pulled away, an inquisitive look on his face. Then he smirked like he was the devil himself. "'Cause it's fuckin' hot," he growled. "And it sounds funny. C'mon, mama...don't you want me to make you a real mama?"

That was how it happened. Now you're here, about to cum for the third time from Toji's tongue and fingers alone. "Oh, God!" you shout to the ceiling, your thighs quivering and your body shaking. "I'm 'bout to cum again!" you babble. "Please, please, make me cum, Toji!"

His large hand smacks your thigh, making it sting. "Wrong name, baby," he growls into your pussy, lapping away. "Try again or you won't be cumming at all."

God, you hate him! You hate how he can make you do things you don't want to do just because he knows how he makes your body feel. "Daddy," you whine. "Please make me cum, Daddy! I need it!" Toji peers up at you, a grin on his face. "Then cum, little girl," he teasingly says. "Cum for me. Give it all to your Daddy like a good little slut."

He dives back down to lap at your clit in time with his fingers curling against your G-spot. Seconds later, you're cumming hard and you can't stop it even if you wanted to. "Oh, shit!" you scream, gripping Toji's hair for dear life. "Shishitshit!" Your orgasm rips through you, pleasure sizzling across your skin and through your entire body, causing you to buck and grind against Toji's face as he laps at your juices, groaning appreciatively.

When you finally come down from your high, tears wet your waterlines and lashes and your thighs are twitching. You feel absolutely spent. You don't think you can cum again...until Toji stands up on his knees and unbuckles his pants. He only takes off his shirt after his cock is out and bobbing in your face.

"Look at this," he groans. He wraps his hand around himself, lazily stroking it. "You see this, baby doll? This is all for you." A devious, devilish smirk stretches across his face. "And all that's inside it is gonna be for you too."

You can't look away from the impressive appendage hanging between his thick, muscular thighs. It is so big; so thick; so veiny; so wet with the pink cockhead dripping with pre-cum. It's your addiction. The very thing that caused this 2-year relationship with this asshole. And he knows it too.

He stalks toward you on his knees, but you stop him from coming any closer by putting a foot on his chest. "W-Wait, Toji," you protest. "Just put a condom on. We can't do this!"

Toji's expression grows dark and it scares you out of your fucking mind, but also...excites you? Is that what this flip in your stomach is? What kind of fucked-up mixed cocktail of emotions is this that you're feeling right now?

"Don't act like you don't want this too, baby," Toji chuckles. "You can't tell me you haven't thought about how this dick would feel without a rubber, stretchin' out that pussy..." He tosses your foot away from him effortlessly, pinning it to the mattress so your legs are open. "And cummin' deep inside you," he finishes on an exhale.

He then takes your ankles and roughly pulls you toward him as you squeak in surprise. "I got you all prepared to take all of me, mama," he tuts. "You wouldn't want all of that to go to waste, would you? Just look how soaked n' sloppy you are for this cock."

He takes his cock in his hand and begins to slide it against your twitching, sensitive slit. Your back arches in reaction and whimpers leave your lips. "T-Toji, no," you whine. "Don't do this."

"Shhh, mama," he hushes you, pressing a finger to your lips. "Don't deny yourself. Don't deny your body what it wants." He nods down at your hips that have instinctively begun to roll against his, causing his cockhead to nudge open your pussy lips. "You want this shit," he growls. "Don't play like you don't. You wanna feel all of me...want me to give you a baby..."

Without warning, he pushes himself all the way inside you, right to the hilt so his balls slap lightly against your asscheeks. "Fuck!" he shouts while you gasp at the feeling, your hands gripping his forearms and digging your nails into them.

The fucker looks down at you, strands of his black hair hanging in his face and a crude smile on his lips. "How's it feel, hm?" he chortles. "You had so much to say before, all that protestin' n' shit. Where's all that now, huh?"

He begins to rock his hips roughly into yours, filling your pussy to the brim with cock. Your eyes are blown, your lips open as moans and gasps fall from them. You've never felt anything like this before. You feel so stretched. So full. So warm. You can feel every ridge, bump, and inch of Toji as he fucks you into the mattress raw.

"Goddamn, you feel so good, baby doll," he groans, tossing your legs over his shoulders. This causes his cock to sink deeper into your cunt so he is just touching your G-spot. You whine loudly at the feeling, gripping his shoulders. "T-Toji!" you moan, your words like a plea.

At the sound of his name on your lips and how pathetic you look writhing underneath him, Toji grips your thighs and fucks you harder, causing the bed to move underneath you. "All that shit you were talkin' earlier," he grunts. "All those "no, Toji"s just to go right out the window. You seriously wanted to act like you ain't want this too? Your pussy is tellin' me different."

You want to tell him you can't help that. You want to argue and tell him that your sobbing wet pussy squeezing around his cock is a natural response of stimulation; a primal instinct. If your body is stimulated in such a way, it's going to respond. You don't want this. You can't want this.

Yet when Toji suddenly stops fucking you, slides out of you, and tosses you onto your stomach, you can't deny how hot it is. And as you close your eyes and picture him spurting rope after rope of cum inside of you, you can't help the way your pussy throbs at the idea.

Toji mounts himself behind you and, once again, slides inside your ushy, gushy cunt without a warning. His hands find your hips and he begins nailing your G-spot so hard that you're sure he'll knock your pussy off its hinges. He's going so hard. He's never been this rough, this primal, before.

"Look at you takin' all this dick," he breathlessly chuckles. "You want ed this so bad, hm? I bet you were fightin' me earlier just to get a rise out of me." His big hand finds your hair and yanks it back so his lips can reach your ear. "You want this big cock to cum, don't ya?" he whispers. "You want me to make you a mommy...make you part of the Fushigiro family."

"Toji!" you scream as his cock plunges in and out of your squelching cunt, his balls slapping against your clit and making your knees nearly buckle. Your ass jiggles and smacks against his pelvis the harder he fucks you, the mixture of pleasure and pain sinking its claws into you and leaving you addicted.

"You're gonna look so fuckin' good with my kid in you, mama," Toji brokenly says between thrusts. "I can't wait till that belly gets big and those nipples get so swollen." One of his hands moves to squeeze your breast and tweak your brown nipple the way you like. "I'm warnin' you now, baby: I ain't gonna keep my hands off of you. I won't be able to."

"Fuck!" you shout, feeling that knot in your belly beginning to tighten. "I'm gonna cum, Toji! I'm so close!" And like an asshole, Toji stops fucking you immediately and pulls his throbbing cock, soaked in your juices, out of you. "Well, in that case..."

He tosses you onto your back again as you squeak in surprise. Then he is on top of you again but in a different version of missionary. In this position, he has your legs up over his shoulders and his feet on the bed as he mounts you, practically sitting on top of your thighs. Mating press.

'Oh, shit,' you think as the realization of the situation at hand hits you. He's really serious. He's going to breed you and you can't stop it.

Toji, red in the face and his eyes dark with lust and need, uses one hand to pin your wrists up above your head as he leans down to give you a wet tongue kiss. "You're gonna be such a good mommy," he coos. "I just know it. We're gonna be so, so happy."

"T-Toji," you weakly stutter, but you can't get out the rest of your words because he has begun to fuck you again. His thrusts are rough, hard, and deliberate. He plunges his cock deep inside of your pussy walls, groaning at the way they tighten and flex around him, pulling him in deeper.

"No man will ever be able to touch you now," he growls, "'cause they'll know you're mine. When you're knocked up with my kid, you'll officially be only mines, understand? Only I can fuck you like this."

Lewd sounds of your wet pussy fill the air as he fucks you deep into the bed, making a point to do so. "Gonna get you so knocked up, baby," he babbles. "Gonna make you a mommy. My mommy."

"Toji!" you scream as tears drip down your face. Toji groans at the gorgeous sight of your wet face and jiggling tits, his cock growing hard inside you. Every thrust brings you closer and closer to that fourth orgasm that you know will be the last of the night for you. You can't go anymore. You feel like you're about to pass out. "I-I'm gonna cum!" you sob. "I'm gonna fuckin' cum!"

Toji glares down at you and pauses, taking his throbbing, wet cock out of you a few inches. You blink at him in confusion. "W-What are you doing?" you weakly ask. Your pussy throbs and twitches impatiently, needing to release.

"Say you want me to cum inside you," he demands, his voice low and intimidating. "Say you want all these babies." He begins to glide his dick up and down your puffy slit, smiling at the way you pathetically whine at the feeling. "Say you want me to breed you," he growls. "Or you don't cum."

"God, I fuckin' hate you, Toji!" you scream. But you don't. You can't. Not when his sex is so good.

"I don't hear what I wanna hear, little girl," he teasingly sing-songs. "I could give less of a fuck if you cum or not, but if you want me to make that pussy cream around my cock, I suggest you do what I say." He takes his cock and begins to smack it against your clit, sending sparks of pleasure through you.

You can't handle it. You can't take this. "Please, Daddy!" you sob, tears dripping down your face. "Please breed me and fill me up! Give me all of your kids! I wanna be a good mommy for you!"

That nearly makes Toji bust right there. "Good girl," he growls as he slides back inside of you. He goes straight back to fucking you stupid into the bed, making you a completely mindless breeding slut. And you feel 100% okay with it. As long as you can cum, you'll do whatever he wants and he knows it.

He can tell you're close by how your eyes go cross-eyed and your cunt grips him. He can feel himself growing close too. You can tell by how his cock swells inside of you and his thrusts become rougher, nearly fucking you up against the headboard. "I'm 'bout to cum," he warns you. "You better take all of this cum, Mommy. Take all of it!"

"Toji, wait!" you protest, but it's too late. He is already stilling his hips and practically bending your knees to your chest as he fills you to the brim with an orgasmic grunt of release. You feel his cum flood your womb as you cum all over his cock with a short, high-pitched when. "Take it," he groans, pushing himself deeper and deeper inside of you. "Take it all, baby."

And you do so. You don't have a choice. You're completely crushed under his big body as he fucks the cum deep into you. You weakly moan as you feel it flood your insides, making you feel warm. Finally, after placing a chaste kiss on your lips, Toji pulls out of you. "Fuck, look at that," he sighs. "All that cum drippin' out of you..."

You don't look, but you can feel it all trickle down to your asscrack to the comforter below you. You don't look at him. You just stare up at the ceiling, breathing heavily and coated in sweat. You feel wet, sore, and achy. You just want to crawl under the covers and never come back out.

Toji places a hand on your tummy and strokes it lovingly despite you cringing at his touch. "We did it, baby," he chuckles. "We really did it." He leans down and presses a kiss to your stomach.

"Now you're mine forever."

THE END.

[kariighost]

The way Levi loves children 💕

[pinksiames]

Screaming, crying, throwing up

[bonefall]

Stormclan is pretty cool, I’m glad they are a direct result of the clans and not Rouge Group 255674385 that pops up like Minecraft mobs at night

Didn’t ivypool kill beetlewhisker? Will they remember it

The mental image of playing minecraft and Darktail spawns on your roof like a spider, refusing to leave in the daylight and making annoying chittering noises, is magical thank you.

Anyway nah, that was Brokenstar. Ivypool killed Antpelt, not Beetlewhisker. I have doubts they're going to remember that though, and if they do, it'll be one of those "don't worry guys we TOTALLY remember the events in our series!" throwaway lines we've been getting recently. The type that's thought in her head or thrown out in passing, but doesn't significantly contribute to Ivypool's emotional struggle.

I think Ivypool's actually the part of this SE that I'm most apprehensive about, funny enough. StormClan's got me pretty excited, but my hopes kinda started falling when I found out Dovewing was going on the road trip. I do not like the story that the Erins tell between the sisters, and I feel like they keep getting forced together to "reconcile their differences" when it would make a MUCH more effective story for the two of them to not do that.

See, what I like about Ivypool is that she's grudge-holding and spiteful. I LIKE that she tried to leverage her sisterhood with Dovewing in ASC to try and make her manipulate her husband. I find the fact she tried to sabotage SkyClan's chances at the lake back in AVoS to halt Dovewing and Tigerheart's relationship, slighting her apprentice in the process, to be COMPELLING.

I ENJOY reading about Ivypool being nasty. Both a victim of the Dark Forest who was targeted because she felt alienated, and yet, someone who has found a way to use Clan culture's most unfair aspects to her advantage. She'll NEVER see herself as the bully she actually is, because in her eyes, she's permanently the underdog.

so... I just have absolutely no desire to see Dovewing and Ivypool be "close."

Every time it happens on the page, it feels like it's Dovewing desperately wanting her sister to not treat her poorly, or believe in her, or just stop actively sabotaging her life. Then, Ivypool realizes this after a while and displays emotional intelligence that feels unfitting for her character, and apologizes.

It feels forced.

Like it's just happening because the authors know the fans want it, and not actually what these two characters would do. You get me?

I don't want to see them reconnect. I want more bittersweet examples in WC where family members have irreconcilable differences, but now and then, there's that little twinge of love, that old spark that you pray, THIS time, could become a fire... but it doesn't. There's just nothing left to burn.

TL;DR I'm feeling overall meh about Ivypool's Heart but looking forward to seeing what StormClan's all about.

[fangbangrr]

finally…old woman yuri

[fairyhaos]

guys. THIS joshua hong look >>>

[beansprean]

@blakbonnet @saltpepperbeard Your post has come to fruition…this comic hurt my teeth with its sweetness!! I should apologize for how long it is but...I won't.

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Full body of Stede and Ed standing in an 80s grocery store. Ed, wearing a black tee shirt tucked into lightwash jeans, black boots, a light blue handkerchief in his back left pocket, and his hair in a high ponytail, is standing with an empty grocery cart with both hands on the handle and one foot up on the bottom basket. He glances from the empty cart and then to Stede, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Stede, wearing a retro-patterned teal and purple short sleeved button up tucked into pleated khaki slacks, brown leather loafers, and a gold watch, his hair swept back in a big feathered quiff, holds his hands up defensively with a nervous smile. He says, “Oh- Darling, no. No, no, I’m too big!”

2a. Ed begins to stalk towards Stede with a mischievous grin, arms out in a grabbing motion. Stede backs up, smile growing even as his eyes narrow in warning and his hands try to bat him away. “Ed.” he says shortly. 2b. Ed darts forward and grabs Stede around the waist, scooping him up over his shoulder. Stede bursts into laughter, face going red, and yells “Ed! Put me down, you’ll hurt yourself!” 2c. Ed walks back toward their cart with Stede flopped over his shoulder and sings, “Nonsense, love!” In the background, there is a young brown woman wearing a patterned jumpsuit with long dark feathered hair facing the shelves as she browses cereal. There is a baby over her shoulder wearing teal overalls who catches Stede’s eye as they pass and reaches out a chubby little hand to wave at him in solidarity. Stede waves back automatically, clearly embarrassed but unable to stop smiling.

3a. Ed half-falls into the cart with a punched-out “Oof!” as he flops Stede down into it butt-first, his face buried in Stede’s chest and Stede’s legs flying up around him. 3b. Ed lifts himself up with his arms braced on either side of Stede, nose-to-nose with his husband who has sat up in the cart with a silly grin, one leg thrown over the side. Ed continues the previous conversation with a soft smile, “It’s like holding a couple of grapes.” 3c. Ed closes the last inch between them to smack a kiss on the tip of Stede’s nose. Stede reddens and snorts out a laugh.

4. Close up on the woman in their aisle as she chooses a cereal called “Matey Puffs” featuring a white cartoon Blackbeard with a hook hand. She glances over in confusion at Ed and Stede as they zoom away, Stede tucked in the cart and Ed driving, both giggling uncontrollably. The baby continues to wave after them.

5. Text reading “Later…”

6a. Stede and Ed waiting in line at the checkout. Stede is still in the cart, knees pulled to his chest, now surrounded by piles of groceries including a bottle of L&P soda, a bag of shredded cheese, a head of romaine lettuce, a bottle of wine, a few packs of meat, a bag of apples, a bag of Twisties, a loaf of bread, a bag of Roshuns, several packs of spaghetti, and a few miscellaneous cartons and jars. Ed, one hand on the cart handle, suddenly smacks the heel of his other hand against his forehead with a “duh!” expression. He exclaims, “Oh, shit! We forgot the oranges!” Stede turns his head around shoot him an annoyed look and replies, “What?? That’s the whole reason we came!” 6b. Ed runs off in a cloud of dust, shouting behind him, “BRB, Baby! Kiss kiss!” Stede cranes his neck after him in panic, unable to move from his grocery prison, calling, “Wai- Ed! Ed!!” 6c. Stede turns back around, red faced, sweating with nerves, and now a middle aged man alone in a full grocery cart. In front of him in queue is a bald man resembling Black Pete in a white suit with the sleeves rolled up, pushing his own cart. Behind him are an older dark-skinned woman with short gray hair wearing a puff sleeve shirt, long pink skirt, and pearls, holding a full basket with both hands and a large Māori man resembling Fang in a pink polo shirt and pleated khakis with a bag of dog food under one arm. They both step forward automatically to fill Ed’s vacated space.

7a. The older woman leans forward toward Stede with a small smile, saying, “You and your husband are very sweet.” Stede cranes his neck around to smile at her nervously, replying, “Oh! Thank you…” 7b. The woman loosens one hand from her basket to place it on Stede’s cart, continuing, “Let me push you forward, the queue is moving.” Stede drops his chin to his chest in relief, breathing out a much more genuine “Thank you.”

8a. Text at the top reads “9 minutes later”; Stede has reached the front of the line. The employee, who resembles Izzy, is wearing a blue striped button up and red bow tie under a yellow apron and stands, one hand hovering over the register as he stares down silently at Stede. Stede, looking small and scared, barely able to peek over the edge of the counter, stares back sweatily with wide eyes and says, “Ummm…” 8b. The employee startles as Stede cracks his head back and screams at the top of his lungs, “Ed!! Darling, where are you?? We have a problem!!”

9a. Ed suddenly zooms into view holding a bag of oranges, sliding smoothly between Stede and the register with a grin and a wink. He says, “Never fear, my love! I’m here!” Stede smiles hugely at him, full of relief and love. Behind them, the Izzy-like employee just glares at them, looking extremely tired, revealing he is wearing a large anachronistic button that says “service with a smile”. Stede cries, “You came back!” Ed replies, “Never left.” Both their speech bubbles are filled with pink hearts. 9b. Text in parentheses at the top says “he really didn’t.” We now see Ed from earlier, already holding the bag of oranges, peeking out from behind a shelf with a warm expression. He giggles, one hand to his cheek, as he observes Stede’s predicament from afar. Offscreen, Stede is saying, “Oh- Louise, we’re moving again.” Louise, presumably the older woman behind him in line, responds, “I’ve got you!” Stede continues, “Haha, getting awfully close to the front, aren’t we… I wonder what’s taking Ed so long…” /end ID

[stevesbabysittingservice]

in a world full of boys, he’s a gentleman 🥹