#my dad gave it to me for christmas in 2015 i think?

[clowngremlin]

My gremlins sweater is very special to me.....I used to wear it all year round when it was cold enough but people bullied me for it so it's only brought out in December, sometimes November if the occasion calls for it....

[super-predictable98]

Glass and Gold Child

Chapter 1: One Day in the Life of Alex Yates

Word Count: 2 k

Warning: Strong language, alcohol abuse

a/n: Hello everyone! In my mission to write as many Michael and David characters as I can, here's another effort: a wee rewrite of There She Goes with my OC.

2015:

Simon had been trying to get Rosie to calm down all morning. Ben just watched that disaster unfold while their father tried to drag her back from the park to have dinner.

"Where's your sister when we need her?" Simon groaned, pulling Rosie away from a car that she ran to because the license plate had a big X on it, her absolute favorite.

"What's going on?" Alex asked when she came back from her judo practice. She still wore her white trousers with a black tank top and her brown belt wrapped around her waist.

"Fuck, Alexandra, there you are! Can you…?"

"Hey, Rosie!" She greeted with a big smile.

"X! X!" The little girl called.

"That's me, come on, are you gonna be good or will I have to give these wotsits to Dad?"

Rosie let out a happy screech when she saw the blue package and reached for it. It was never too quiet around her, she was always making noises to communicate, but those happy noises were always welcome.

She took the snack from Alex and gave her older sister a clumsy hug.

"Can you say thank you?" Alexandra asked.

In response, Rosie did the sign in BSL and her sister ruffled her hair.

"You're a miracle worker," Simon sighed as they walked from the park. "You can't be going around and leaving us alone. She needs you."

"You hear how insane that sounds, Dad?" Ben chuckled. "She's not her mum, besides, she was at practice not even hanging out."

"Not helping, Ben," he hissed.

"It went well then?" Emily, the matriarch of the family, asked while she prepared the food.

"As well as it can go," Simon murmured, watching the kids get around the table. "I was thinking, what if we never send Alex to college?"

"What? Are you insane?"

"You know what I mean! Sometimes she's the only one who can calm Rosie down and can you imagine the epic meltdown that Darwin's little exception is gonna have when her big sis moves out?"

"Simon, we can't just ask Alex not to live her life. We're their parents, it's our job to look after them, not hers."

"Now you just sound like Ben!"

"Because even an 11-year-old boy has more common sense than you! She's 17, she'll leave eventually, we're gonna have to make it work."

"Remember when it was just her?" Simon smiled.

"When you were not a total prick? Yeah, I remember."

*

2001:

"Where's Daddy?" Alexandra asked, crawling on the floor, even after she learned how to walk, she still loved to crawl.

"He's coming home, remember when I told you about Daddy working to buy your Christmas presents?" Emily picked up her little girl and kissed her forehead. "Why do you love Daddy so much? Can't it be Mummy?"

"No! Only Daddy," Alex laughed at her mother's expression when she said that.

"Where are my girls?" Simon opened the door and opened his arms to take his daughter. "There's my little princess! How you doing, sweet pea?"

"Good! I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" He bounced her and kissed all over her chubby little cheeks. "Oh, there's my queen."

"Good one," Emily laughed. "She's been talking about you all day, she's a little chatterbox."

"Aww but that's cute! Remember when she'd speak full sentences before she could even walk? It was a nice party trick."

"I know, and it's cute, but I do hope our next daughter is less chatty. For my sanity."

"I heard that!" Alex gasped.

"See, now you hurt my little princess!" Simon joked. "Can you get me a beer, Em?"

"Noooo I don't like beer Daddy," the little girl cried.

"Wow, that is not concerning at all…" Emily arched an eyebrow. "Did Daddy ever hurt you after drinking beer?"

"Only on the inside…"

"No! I'm not-! You meant your heart, right? I hurt your feelings?" Simon asked, panicked.

"Yeah, you were mean."

"See, Em? Never say that again, sweetie, people might get the wrong idea and then they'll take Daddy to jail. Is that what you want?"

"No! We need to watch Barbie and the Nutcracker!"

"Good girl, if Daddy's in jail he can't watch Barbie and the Nutcracker with you."

*

2006:

"HIYAAAAAA!" Alex jumped on her father's stomach after bringing him to the floor with a rather flawless valley drop.

"Jesus Christ! That's what we're paying for? For you to learn how to kill your father in karate?" Simon groaned, curling up into a ball.

"It's judo, Daddy!" She laughed.

"Oh pardon me, I wouldn't wanna be rude to the little girl who just broke my ribs. You're always complaining I'm not home enough and when I am, you just wanna punish me."

Alexandra frowned and wrapped her little arms around him, kissing his cheek. She did complain because ever since her mum got pregnant, she would barely see him at all.

He was always 'at work' or with his friends and whenever she saw him, it was beer Daddy, not the one she loved.

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna hurt you."

"Hey, sweetheart, it's okay," Simon assured, kissing the top of her head. "Daddy's sorry, okay? I wish I could be home more, but- it's hard to explain, my baby. Sometimes grown-ups do silly things even when they know it's wrong and then when they try to undo it, they can't right away. But I promise I'll make it better."

"Are you and Mummy getting divorced?"

"Why did you have to be such a smart girl?" He sighed. "I don't know, darling, I don't want to, but sometimes it's what's best for mummies and daddies."

"And then we'll never see you again?"

"Of course you'll see me, Alex! Even if one day I'm no longer Mummy's husband, I'm still your and your siblings' daddy, that'll never change. You're stuck with me for life, kiddo. Is that okay? You being stuck with your old man?"

"That's okay," Alex smiled. "I wanna come live with you if you leave."

"Why is that, princess?" Simon sat up, a bit worried that she'd given that whole thing so much thought. She shouldn't be pondering on that sort of thing.

"Because Mummy loves Rosie more. She only ever holds Rosie and talks to Rosie and about Rosie."

"Awww Alex, that's not true," he took her in his arms, stroking her long dark waves. "Mummy is only busy with Rosie because she was just born. She's just a little baby and she was born really small, she needs attention."

"I know, but when Ben was born, it wasn't like that. Mummy still loved me when he was a baby."

"Mummy still loves you now, sweetie, don't worry. But if you ever wanna come live with me, that'll be okay and… I mean, not that we're actually getting divorced. That's not happening as far as I'm concerned. Okay?"

"Okay… is it time to go to judo yet?"

"Yeah, it's time, come on."

Simon grabbed her Barbie backpack with her uniform and a little snack.

"Are you gonna stay and watch me?" Alex asked hopefully.

"I can't, sweetie. Daddy's meeting Aunt Helen, but I'll be there when you're done," Simon picked her up and looked up the stairs. "Em! I'm taking the little monster to judo!"

Father and daughter took the train, as Simon wouldn't learn how to drive to save his life, and he dropped her off at her class.

Alex saw Daddy leave and wanted to cry, to scream about how he never sat to watch her practices anymore like the other parents did, but she didn't. She was brave and put on her uniform all by herself.

She diligently got through her class and changed back into her street clothes, excited to tell her father that she was getting a new belt soon.

"Hey, I'm getting the yellow-orange belt, Daddy. It means I'm halfway to getting my orange belt which is my favorite color! I can't wait!" She whispered to herself as she sat right outside the dojo with the other kids.

One by one, the kids were picked up by their parents, but Alexandra stayed there, swinging her little legs and rehearsing what to say to Dad when he finally arrived.

"Yeah, she's still here," the sensei said into the phone. "Don't worry, I know you have a new baby at home, Mrs. Yates, I can drive her. It's no problem."

Alex never got to say her perfectly rehearsed lines celebrating her new achievement. She sat in silence the entire car ride back to her house and when her mother opened the door, she burst into tears.

"Hey, hey sweetie, it's okay," Emily hugged her after putting Rosie down in the crib. "Don't cry, baby. I'm sorry you were scared."

"I wasn't scared! He didn't come and he told me he would! Why won't anyone love me anymore?" Alexandra hit her head on the wall a few times before her mother could catch her.

"Mum? Why is Al hurting herself? Don't hurt yourself, Al!" Ben whispered, bringing her a pillow.

"Hear that? Your brother is worried about you, he loves you and so do I, so does Rosie, so does Daddy. And your grandparents, Aunt Soph…"

"Daddy doesn't love me, he left me there. He's not my daddy anymore!"

"It's not true, Al, you're his precious little princess and he just made a mistake. He forgot he was supposed to be there or he missed the train- the point is, everyone makes mistakes," Emily said even though she was also furious with her husband and that was far from his first fuck up. "Tell me how was class, let me make you something to eat."

"I get a yellow-orange belt next week, I'm not hungry," Alex said while she stomped up the stairs to get to her bedroom.

She hid in there all afternoon and when it was almost time to sleep, the door slowly opened and Simon came in stumbling over himself.

"Mummy just told me what happened, I'm so sorry, my pumpkin pie. I lost track of time, when I realized it was already eight," he slurred.

"Get out of here! You stink, I hate beer Daddy! I hate all daddies! I hate you!"

"I understand, I get it. I love you though and I'm really sorry," he said, too embarrassed to look her in the eye. "Mum told me you're getting a new belt? That's exciting, you're one closer to orange, your favorite."

"Whatever, if you cared you would've watched me."

"I swear, I promise next week I'll be there to see it."

"No, you won't! I don't believe you anymore. Go away, I'm going to sleep."

*

2015:

The noise her sister made was indication she wasn't happy about it.

"That is my monster, its ears are so fluffy!" Alex read and closed the book. "Now, my little monster Rosie, it's time for bed."

"I know, I know you don't want to. But let me tell you something. I know you can't talk, but you understand me, right? You get what X is saying?"

Rosie didn't nod or give any proof that it was true, but she stared directly at Alex, she was listening.

"If you close your eyes and fall asleep, you can play with the nice monsters and Hippo in dreamland. Right here," she touched Rosie's head. "Don't you wanna play with Hippo and the monsters from the book? Yeah, I know. So please, close your eyes and sleep, alright? I love you, pretty girl."

When Alexandra put up the gate to stop her sister from leaving the room, she noticed her parents were watching from afar.

"Sorry, I'm gonna go wash the dishes now," she chuckled, knowing she was behind on her chores.

"No! Don't you dare, Alex," Emily hugged her tightly. "You help more than enough and honestly I feel bad about it sometimes. Daddy will do the dishes."

"What? Why me?" Simon yelped. "I mean, yeah, I agree she shouldn't have to after getting Rosie to sleep, but why me?"

"Because you're a lazy arse," Alexandra laughed.

"You know what? Let's just order some pizza and relax while we have a little time," Emily suggested.

"Ah come on! We order pizza every week, let's have something different," Simon wrapped his arms around each of them.

"I don't think lazy arses have the right to decide," Alex laughed. "Come on, let's play a game while we wait. Oh! And remember tomorrow everyone needs to come to the gym, I'm getting my black belt!"

"Don't worry, princess, we'll all be there for you," he smiled.

[emilielfc]

I’ve pretty much been in denial about Jurgen going until yesterday. I’ve not been able to process it well so I did the only thing I could think of and word vomited a letter to Jurgen. I know he’ll never see it but I wanted to get all my thoughts and feelings down.

Feel free to ignore the ramblings that follow 😂

Dear Jurgen,

I’m finding it really hard to find any words to sum it all up. But the most important ones are thank you.

Thank you for giving us absolutely everything these last 9 years. Thank you for taking us back to where we belong. For giving us memories to last a life time, to let us see what our dads had seen.

More than anything, we’ll miss the man behind the manager. An incredible manager, an even better person. You got the club and the city from day one. You backed us, you fought for us, you are us.

I will spend my lifetime talking about the Klopp era. The memories I have, the things I experienced. I’ll never forget the good and the bad. The belief this team gave me. How it picked me up and distracted my from my lowest of lows.

Jurgen Klopps Liverpool lead me to some of my best friends. I formed connections and friendships to last a lifetime and I’m so grateful.

In 2015 me and my dad sat and watched Jurgens first press conference. This is exciting. This could be good. Dad looked like a kid at Christmas. It’s was so much better than we ever could have imagined.

That night against Dortmund that followed and the loss of the final, we knew we were in for something special.

Kiev was disappointing and heartbreaking, but we knew we’d be back.

The champions league in 2019 was insane. I had very very vague memories of 2005, and now I have proper solid ones of my own. I’ll never forget it.

I’ll never ever forget where I was in 2020. On the sofa screaming at the tv for that Chelsea penalty. Crying my eyes out, jumping around the living room with my dad. And then just sitting in silence and amazement that we’d finally done it.

Countless more trophies and celebrations followed. The club World Cup. The super cup. Carabao cups and the FA. All the boys contributing and showing what a team we’ve built up. Every single moment. Electric.

Jurgen has given us everything, and I could never begrudge him wanting to spend time with his family. He’s earned it. He’s left his boys in a good place. A good squad that he believes in.

So danke Jurgen. For it all.

YNWA ❤️

[demotastic]

Hello! So let’s just get into it: I’m gonna post my back log of comic here and give a sort of like a ““Director’s narration”“ to why I made them. First comic, is kinda a call back to the very very very very first time I tried to make a comic (back in July 2015). Yes, they are the same character, Robert and Rose have been OC’s that stuck with me since high-school. Initially they were kinda like Starbound OCs, since that was my current fixation at the time. But after penciling this specific comic to a 120gsm paper that my art teacher at the time gave me it kinda cemented them into my brain space (I’ve only had the luxury to either draw on my wooden school desk, that I had to clear when it gets full or 70gsm printing paper I stole from my dad) , I later (using a mouse) colored everything in and they were truly realized. A few months later and few comics later, I showed them to my mom’s cousin over a Christmas party. Since she (an interior designer) was the most artistic, and creative person I knew at the time and wanted some opinion. She simply asked: “I think you should like give them some backstory, like why are they friends.” with that seeded in my mind I went to art college (flunked out), learn how to play D&D and the skill of world building, more exposure to great works like Scott Pilgrim and just the dissolving of the concept that comics can only be either glorified joke books for kids, or over detailed work from DC and Marvel, I set to recycle my treasured duo, re-breathe life into them and started this journey. Well with that personal story out of the way, I can finally get to you why I created this comic: again, it’s just a sort of honorary nod to where Too Familiar comes from and how far it’s come. As for the original? I... don’t really remember, it’s most likely some joke I stole from some TV show.

[cyberteenager]

All the phones I ever had 

Alcatel OT-C701 (My older brother gave me his old phone so I could listen to music in 3rd and 4th grade, 2010-2011)

Motorola A1200 (Again my brother gave me another one of his old phones so I could listen to music in 5th grade, 2012)

LG Optimus L4 II (As a christmas gif I got this at the very end on 2013, I just turned 12)

Azumi A35C Lite (in 2015 I broke the LG so my brother gave this one in Christmas. I would sometimes “fix” the LG so I would sometimes switch these two. I was in 9th grade in 2016) 

Sky Platinum 5.0+ (So in maybe March or May of 2017 I broke the Azumi so my dad gave me some LITTLE money and with what I had in savings all I could afford was this one. Not gonna lie, even tho this thing had only like 4GB in space I took a lot of selfies for the first time in my life, I was 15 and my favorite memory is being in my way to school at like 5:50am and listening to Stripped by xtina or Love, Angel, Music, Baby by Gwen) 

Samsung Galaxy J7 (By the end of November 2018 I was about to get graduated and I remember it was picture day. For some reason I put my phone on the back pocket of my jeans instead of the front, I sat down really hard and cracked the whole screen, I was lucky enough to transfer all my picture to my computer a couple of days before it completely stopped working. Now, in December I guess maybe 5th, I was celebrating with my class because school was over, and my best friend gave me this phone)

iPhone 5 (In that same December 2018, another friend gave me her old phone and I would again switch between these two, even in 2019 when I started college)

iPhone SE (It was May 2019, I was already 4 months in college, the iPhone 5 stopped working, and the Samsung was barely working anymore, so my older brother again saved the day by buying me this phone, which I still use to this day)

Not gonna lie, all the pictures I ever took have awful quality as you can tell I never get the latest release of anything Lol. I think hopefully in 2022 Ill get another phone, maybe the iPhone 8? idk  

[tcm]

In Memory of Brian, Fred and Jerry by Susan King

I mourn the loss of Hollywood legends, especially those I have interviewed over the years. I broke into tears when Debbie Reynolds died four years ago, recalling our last chat together in 2016 when we did a duet of “Moses Supposes.” And I still haven’t watched TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (’62) since Gregory Peck died in 2003. I had the opportunity to interview the handsome Oscar-winner at his now torn down home in 1997 and 1999. He was everything you’d hope he would be – sweet, intelligent and funny. He also loved Bob Dylan. His last words to me as he walked me to my car were: “You are a most interesting young lady.”

In 2020 alone, I lost over 20 former interviewees including Kirk Douglas, whom I interviewed eight times between 1986-2017, and my beloved Olivia de Havilland, who I found to be delightful and a bit ribald in the two interviews I did with her. I got more than a little misty when Brian Dennehy, Fred Willard and Jerry Stiller died this year. They were supremely talented and made our lives a little brighter with their performances. And, they all were great guys and fun interviews.

Brian Dennehy

I interviewed Brian Dennehy, who died in April at the age of 81, several times in the early 1990s when I was at the L.A. Times. The former U.S. Marine and football player was intimidating at first sight. He was tall, burly and barrel-chested. He had a no-nonsense quality about him, and he spoke his mind. But he also was funny.

In 1991, discussing how hard it was for some actors to land parts after starring in a TV series, he noted “coming off a TV series is a tough deal, and you go into limbo land for a while, if not forever. Most actors go immediately to the ‘Island of Lost Actors’ and stay there. Troy Donahue is the mayor.” Dennehy never went to that island. Not with the complex and often memorable performances he gave in such films as FIRST BLOOD (’82), SILVERADO (’85), COCOON (’85), PRESUMED INNOCENT (’90) and as Big Tom in the comedy TOMMY BOY (’95).

He was nominated for five Emmys, including one for his chilling turn as serial killer John Wayne Gacy in the miniseries To Catch a Killer (’92).

I had one of the most extraordinary evenings at the theater in 2000 when Dennehy reprised his Tony Award-winning role as the tragic Willy Loman at the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles in the lauded revival of Arthur Miller’s masterpiece Death of a Salesman. It was a gut-wrenching performance that left me emotionally exhausted. He earned another Tony in 2003 as James Tyrone in the revival of Eugene O’Neill’s superb Long Day’s Journey into Night. And he never stopped working.

Shortly after his death, the drama DRIVEWAYS (2020) was released on streaming platforms. And it could be Dennehy’s greatest performance. He plays Del, an elderly widower and Korean War vet who sparks a warm friendship with Cody, the young boy next door. The reviews for the film (it’s at 100% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes) and Dennehy have been glowing. The L.A. Times’ Justin Chang wrote that Dennehy’s Del is as “forceful and tender a creation as any in this great actor’s body of work.” And Jeannette Catsoulis of The New York Times stated: “What we might remember most, perhaps appropriately, are Dennehy’s warm, weary features and rich line readings. In a lovely final monologue, Del advises Cody to avoid rushing past the experiences in life that matter, as they pass so quickly on their own. Much like the careers of beloved actors.”

Fred Willard

I first encountered Fred Willard as the clueless sidekick of sleazy talk show host Barth Gimble (Martin Mull) in the late 1970s on the syndicated comedy series Fernwood Tonight and its continuation America 2-Night. I quickly became a fan, and that admiration grew when he became a member of Christopher Guest’s stock company of zanies in such comedies as WAITING FOR GUFFMAN (’96) and BEST IN SHOW (2000). In the latter, he played the equally clueless dog show announcer Buck Laughlin who quipped in his color commentary, “And to think that in some counties these dogs are eaten.”

Willard told me in a 2012 L.A. Times interview that he didn’t think he was funny until he was an adult. “I always loved comedy growing up – Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye,” said Willard, who died in May at the age of 86.

Willard got a serious part in Tennessee Williams’ one-act in a summer theater group when he was in his 20s. “I was getting laughs on all the lines,” he noted. “The director got upset because the audiences were always laughing. I didn’t try to do it deliberately. Then I realized I would say things around people, and they would laugh. I didn’t mean to be funny. I have always been relaxed around comedy.”

Just as Dennehy, Willard kept working. In fact, he received an Emmy nomination posthumously for his hilarious turn as Ty Burrell’s goofball dad on ABC’s Modern Family. He told me he wished he could try to do more dramatic fare like in Clint Eastwood’s World War II drama Flags of Our Fathers (2006). Willard even called his agent to see if he could get a role in the movie. “Clint Eastwood’s people called back and said, ‘We love Fred, but we are afraid if he appeared on the screen, they might start to laugh.’’’

Jerry Stiller

Jerry Stiller was a real sweetie and also very thoughtful. He sent me a lovely thank you note when I interviewed him and his wife, Anne Meara, in the early 1990s. When I talked to him for his son Ben Stiller’s remake of THE HEARTBREAK KID (2007), Stiller sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers. Ditto in 2010 when I interviewed the couple for a Yahoo! Web series Stiller & Meara: A Show About Everything. I also received Christmas cards until Meara died in 2015.

Baby boomers remember Stiller, who died at 92 in May, and Meara for their smart and sophisticated comedy act, in which the majority of the humor came from the fact that he was Jewish and she was born Irish Catholic. They recorded albums, were popular on the nightclub circuit and did The Ed Sullivan Show three dozen times. They split up their act when musical variety series went away.

Both were terrific dramatic actors. In fact, I saw Stiller in the 1984 Broadway production of Hurlyburly, David Rabe’s scathing look at Hollywood, and he did a 1997 production of Chekhov’s The Three Sisters. Of course, Stiller garnered even more success in his Emmy-nominated role as Frank Costanza, the caustic father of George (Jason Alexander) on NBC’s Seinfeld (1993-98) and was the best reason to watch CBS’ sitcom The King of Queens (1998-2007) as Kevin James’ acerbic father-in-law

But I most remember that 2010 interview where Stiller and Meara bantered back and forth much to my enjoyment. Here they talk about Ed Sullivan:

Anne: I never liked him.

Jerry: You are out of your mind. You never liked him?

Anne: He scared stuff out of me. I am talking about Mr. Sullivan himself. I wasn’t the only one. There were international favorites throwing up in the wings—singers and tenors and guys who spin plates. It was live. We were scared.

Jerry: Ed Sullivan brought us up to the level that we knew we never could get to – him standing there on the right side of the wings laughing, tears coming out of his eyes and then calling us over and saying, ‘You know, we got a lot of mail on that last show you did.’ I said, ‘From Catholic or Jewish people?’ He said, ‘The Lutherans.’”

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Late Stage Swiftgron Part 1

Update from November 2021 - I really don’t believe much of this is meaningful at all.  I don’t think they’re sitting around referencing one another on social media or anything but some of Dianna’s interactions with Karlie are interesting Dianna shows up explicitly in Taylor’s life a couple more times so I’m leaving these sections here.;

From here on out everything but the 2014 AMAs and Dianna’s somewhat shocking appearance at Taylor’s 2019 SNL performance are just odd social media shenanigans (or subtweets) between the two, and Taylor appearing to release at least one more song about Dianna (Babe in 2018) (and let’s be honest you can make a strong argument for The 1 being about Dianna as well other post 1989 songs.)

Some of this might be complete crack or coincidence but as you all know I want this to be the most thorough Swiftgron document possible.  

If anything it proves they both certainly still have similar interests and they really do seem to be in touch.

There are some interactions claimed by others to be Swiftgron related that I’m not going to include because they’re just a bit too reachy for me (though I completely support the theorizing!) but in general, if I personally can see the hint of a Swiftgron connection, I’m going to include it here. Draw your own conclusions and take everything, particularly the alleged subtweets/social media shenanigans, with a grain of salt.

And yes there’s tons of Kaylor and other Gaylor/Gaygron content that will be left out of this segment because this masterpost is focused on Swiftgron.  Someday it would be cool to make a giant masterpost/timeline that documents all of it, but for now it’s just going to be Swiftgron stuff. August 26, 2014 - Dianna tweets, and then deletes “Withdrawals, clearly…we had fun.” 

There’s no screen shot of this tweet but some retweets/responses of it remain:

If Dianna is indeed referencing the song Clean (in which their relationship is compared to an addiction hence, “withdrawals” from it) then Taylor would have had to give her advanced knowledge of the song since 1989 did not come out until October 2014.

Taylor did claim she ran 1989 by the muse that inspired it and they were both in LA in late August 2014. Maybe this is when.

November 1, 2014 - Taylor posts about Clean

November 19, 2014 - The 2014 AMAs Kaylorgron Explosion Extravaganza:

Taylor, Karlie, and Dianna are at the event.  Taylor and Karlie are clearly on a date and Dianna is there to present Sam Smith’s performance of I’m not the only one.  Dianna seems a bit out of her element/gloomy when interviewed on the red carpet and Taylor flexes Karlie hard, dancing with her throughout the night and even sitting on her lap during an interview.

Click here for photos, video, gifs, and a live L chat reaction to the night.

December 28, 2014 - The writer for the tv show The Originals, Carina Mackenzie, tweeted that 1989 was about Dianna:

It’s of course notable that someone in the industry is “confirming” Swiftgron on main (particularly before gaylor went mainstream with Kaylor being so obvious in 2015/2016) however what’s even more interesting and notable about this tweet is that an actor named Michael Trevino was on the show The Originals and he dated Jenna Ushkowitz from 2011-2014.

Not only that but Michael was at Dianna’s 26th birthday when Taylor was in attendance as well.

It’s possible that Michael witnessed Swiftgron in real life and spilled a bit to the writer of the TV show he was on.

January 5, 2015 - Taylor likes a Swiftgron related post on Tumblr of Dianna saying she’d go on the road with Taylor and carry her bags at the Giffoni Film Festival in 2012:

February 9, 2015 - Style is released as a single

February 13, 2015 - The Kaylor “Best Friends” on a road trip Vogue Spread comes out.  You’re probably familiar with it but if you aren’t google it.  It’s incredibly romantic and pda filled.

The Style music video is released on this day as well.

We don’t have to go through the whole video but one egg I just have to note is the cave pictured in the MV is in Morocco the same country Dianna seemed to flee to after Swiftgron was outed:

February 14, 2015 - Dianna tweets 143 remember those days (for some reason it has not been deleted) seemingly in response to the Kaylor vogue shoot:

143 is a code that means “I love you” that originated from Mister Rogers.  Both Taylor and Dianna have publicly shown that they are fans of his.  Taylor has even made certain songs 3 minutes and 41 seconds long seemingly referring to this number and wore a Mister Rogers pin on a jacket for a photoshoot once.

Here’s a bit more in depth analysis on the significance of the 143 post.

This tweet is how we know that it is 100% in Dianna’s character to occasionally subtweet Taylor and why a lot of this social media analysis has been done.  

February 16, 2015 - Just two days later Dianna attends a fashion show in which Karlie walks and is noted to “have kept a smirk on her face” during.  Dianna doesn’t clap at the end of the show and looks miserable in photos of the event:

February 17, 2015 - Taylor releases Wonderland

I’m going to pause here and discuss the song Wonderland for a brief moment because it is some of the most incredibly airtight evidence for Swiftgron available.

Dianna’s favorite book of all time is Alice in Wonderland.  She brought it up in interviews all the time, tweeted about it, auctioned off a signed copy of it for charity, her private Tumblr and instagram account are called whosirmesir which is a reference to it, her private Tumblr is filled with reblogs about Alice, and her public Tumblr was called fell down the rabbit hole.

So the fact that Taylor writes an entire song describing a relationship through the lens of and packing full of references to Alice in Wonderland is incredibly interesting.

Let’s take a look at some of these lyrics:

Flashing lights and we, took a wrong turn and we Fell down the rabbit hole (literally Dianna’s tumblr name and url)

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me (Dianna is famous for her beautiful almost hypnotic green eyes and yes they are green)

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds (queer coded)

Too in love to think straight (queer coded)

But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams (seems to reference when they were outed) You searched the world for something else (Dianna very publicly went travelling around the world right after April 2013 when they seem to break up)

Taylor literally put Dianna’s Tumblr URL in the song.  Frankly I’m kind of shocked she released this song at all it is so obviously and clearly about Dianna.  Truly a Swiftgron anthem!

Back to the timeline...

March 8, 2015 - Taylor posts Flamingos for her dad’s birthday:

The caption was “Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for all the unconditional love, sarcastic comments, and interesting Christmas presents.”

May 1, 2015 - Dianna posts a flamingo for her birthday (post is now deleted):

The caption was “This is 29. Spoiled rotten. Funny enough, at work they were painting the hallways white and the roses (hallway doors) red, then I actually went to Wonderland (@AliceUnderLdn) and came home to a surprise flamingo. Here we go. Another year around the sun…feeling lucky and loved and loved and lucky.”

Taylor also gave Emily, another rumored ex, a flamingo bandana for her birthday.  i also think it’s odd that Dianna mentions Wonderland specifically in the post.

January 15, 2016 - Dianna’s engagement to Winston is announced and Kaylors notice Taylor is liking sad posts on Tumblr including several posts related to Clean:

November 7, 2016 - Lorde’s birthday party where Kaylor is together in public for the last time for 20 months.

January 5, 2017 - Claire (who is still very close with Taylor) comments on one of Dianna’s Instagram posts):

March 2, 2017 - Dianna posts her James Dean inStyle UK photo to Instagram:

This is actually the second time she has posted this as a throwback photo.  She also posted it on February 4, 2016 with simply the caption “TBT” and did not include the “rebel without a clue” bit which is a reference to James Dean (Rebel Without a Cause). She’s never posted the same TBT photo twice before or after this (as of the writing of this post in October 2020).

It I may be permitted to go real far out on a limb here it’s almost as if she wanted people to connect that photo of her in the UK InStyle magazine to James Dean.  James Dean is of course the way Taylor describes her lover in the song Style.  

At any rate it’s very odd that it’s the only photo she’s posted twice whether it’s related to Taylor or not.

April 25, 2017 - Fans notice Dianna is having her script tattoo removed:

This is significant because a part of the tattoo was dedicated to Alice in Wonderland - it said “We’re all mad here” 

Tattoo removal is a years long process:

So it’s possible she started getting it removed around the time that Wonderland came out.

It’s also possible part of the tattoo was dedicated to Lea (the part that said “here I am”) so this whole removal situation is very interesting.

In 2019 she was still getting it removed and commented this at a Cafe Carlyle session:

"i was like i don't know i wanna explain all my tattoos or the one that i'm getting removed on my side...you know you're like...WHATEVER we're stopping we're moving on"

February 13, 2018 - Dianna attends the Carolina Herrera fashion show, so does Karlie. Dianna is introduced to Karlie by Derek Blasberg and very audibly calls Karlie “gorgeoouusss” as they meet. 

Kayda play “Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift.

Click here to keep reading!

[dearingbooks]

The Difference one Woman can make.

Late Friday night in June, we had stopped for a burger on the way to the cinema, we used to do family movie nights at the cinema when a new film came out that the majority of us wanted to watch, this time I was the one who was reluctant to go, sadly we do this significantly less now.  So, stubborn 2015 me, rolling her eyes and dragging her feet up the cinema steps to find our seats to watch the new Jurassic World movie. Pathetic! I thought, why pay money to watch a movie about a dinosaur theme park! My parents had completely lost it! Huffing and puffing I took my seat on the aisle and sipped my blue raspberry slushie and looked up at the big screen. Ugh! I wanted it to be over, quickly. I sat down and shut my mouth, despite not wanting to watch it, I wasn’t going to spoil it for the others; but I didn’t get why they would want to watch it, I watched the trailer before going, was not impressed, it looked dumb!

However, as much as my pre-Jurassic self would not like, I found who I was during that movie, I discovered a whole new admiration for actors and movies. I found that I related to the main female protagonist, Claire Dearing. She did not need a man, or children, she was so focused on her career and let no one boss her around. She was top dog, and I completely fell for this fictional character. I evolved through that movie with her character, I felt content with being a strong female who put career over family. I wanted to embody this fictional woman; I wanted to be her.

On the journey home I typed ‘Claire Dearing actress’ into google and saw this stunning redhead- Bryce Dallas Howard. I immediately recognised her from movies I had watched prior, and I was completely astounded at her range of characters she can portray and portray them well. After scrolling through her Wiki page and reading news articles about her, I learned that she is the daughter of Ron Howard, one of my parents’ favourite people in film.

“Dad, that woman in the movie is Ron Howard's daughter”, I needed to inform my family that my now favourite woman in film is the daughter of my parents’ favourite people in film. My parents were shocked that I enjoyed the movie despite my loud vocalisation of not wanting to watch it.

Googling ‘Bryce Dallas Howard’ became my new after school routine, learning that she applied to acting school as Bryce Dallas to avoid people knowing she is the daughter of an already famous actor and director, and she had met her true love at nineteen and is still happily married to him. Yet what most stuck out to the self-conscious, body hating 2015 me, was that Bryce wasn’t a skinny twig of a woman that you see in most movies, she had classy curves and promoted body positivity despite some backlash the media gave her. I made a connection with this woman I had never met because I too received negative comments about my figure, yet Bryce took that on the shoulder and learned to love herself. I wanted to feel that self-love about myself that she acquired.

After watching Jurassic World, I explored many more fandoms, and from there I became obsessed with movie franchises and TV shows, actors and directors. I could not give you a full list of all of the fandoms I am in, there are too many to count, and they have all played a role in helping me evolve to who I am today. All because I latched onto one character from one movie I did not even want to watch, one film got me hooked on this life: it’s like a drug. I cannot stop. I also went back and forth with my hairstyle due to this woman; in the movie Bryce has a stunning ginger graduated bob with a fringe, however I never had the guts to go ginger until now; shame the hairdressers are all shut.

Now, almost six years later Bryce Dallas Howard has had great success in directing two episodes of The Mandalorian. Over the Christmas break I watched the show with my dad, sat on the sofa, fire lit, the chocolate Labrador curled up between us, peach vodka and diet lemonade in my hand, hot cup of tea in my dad’s. We binge watched both seasons in a week (it’s amazing) and he was shocked to see ‘Directed by Bryce Dallas Howard’ at the end of one, let alone two episodes. “Shit, she’s come far in the past few years” he said putting another episode on.

Bryce allowed me to find my best friend, Iz, through Instagram; Bryce has brought so many people together it is so surreal. And when I found out that Iz was going to Southampton University in 2019, a 20-minute drive from my house, I was finally able to meet her, because of one woman we both adore. I was friends with Iz for three years before I was able to meet her, I asked my school friend to come along with me so she could film the moment Iz, and I met! We got pancakes and watched the second Maleficent movie at the cinema, it was one of the best days of my life. I was so thankful that I met a truly hilarious and loving girl through this one actress! Because of Bryce Dallas Howard, I have made so many other friends from all over the globe as they too idolise Bryce and together we have created the ‘BDH online family’. A small group of us do regular zoom calls to catch up and chat about the recent photos and updates that Bryce has posted on Instagram, talk about Covid-19 and the types of restrictions and lockdown rules each of our countries has. During one of our calls, we had the craziest idea- Invite Bryce to one of our zoom calls. Bryce said yes! And after a few months of organisation, we had the date. The date was-

My.

Birthday.

The day came around and I was so nervous, it was 11pm exactly. The Wi-Fi had cut out fifteen minutes before the call. I was in tears. Mascara down my face, puffy eyes, I joined the call with a few minutes to spare before Bryce joined it. My mum hung around off camera for the first 5 minutes to double check the Wi-Fi was stable, luckily it stabilised. The other girls had never been so glad to see me, everyone was panicked for me; I could not miss it for the world (despite telling my parents, in floods of tears, that I cannot join and that it’s the end of that).

“Kat! You’re here!” “Happy birthday!” “Are you okay? The Wi-Fi sorted?”

They all chimed, happy to see my little face in the bottom right corner of their computer screens. Luckily Iz was there, otherwise it would have been extremely awkward with only one of us since we are known as a duo in the online family, we have to do everything together, we come in a pair and there can’t just be one of us.

“Shit girls, that was stressful”

I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until I exhaled the large breath when my    Wi-Fi settled, and I was on the call, I fixed my makeup and was ready to meet Bryce.

The few minutes we had before Bryce joined were intense, two of the girls left to get a drink and we weren’t sure if they would be back in time, luckily they did return.

“No way!” One of them, Anna who was hosting the call, gasped “Bryce is in the waiting room!”

We all freak for no more than 10 seconds, we compose ourselves then our faces are reshuffled, and we see this stunning glowing face that we all admire smiling at us. Omg, it's her.

“Hi girls!”

I have never smiled for so long in my entire life, my cheeks hurt afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all, it just hurt as I thought I would only be smiling for half an hour, since that is how long we were told Bryce had. However, we were speaking to Bryce for nearly an hour and a half, she just kept talking and asked us questions! She was so lovely to talk to, so relaxed; it was if I was talking to a friend that I had known for years!

“Before we go I want to all sing Kat a happy birthday!”

My idol wanted to sing me a happy birthday! The other girls were really ecstatic for me, I still can’t believe to this day that The Bryce Dallas Howard wanted to sing to me!

It was both the best and the worst happy birthday song that has be sung to me. It was the best because, well my idol was singing to me! And proposed the singing! It was the worst in terms of the actual song as they were all out of sync and lagging, it was bloody hilarious!

At 10:27pm the next evening, watching a rerun of Game of Thrones on Sky, I got a notification ‘Brycedhoward just posted’, I clicked the notification then see our smiling faces on her page, she posted a screenshot of our call on her social media! The call was supposed to be a secret so other fans weren’t upset. There’s a few snotty comments on the post, but they’re just jealous and to be frank, I don’t care! My smiley face is on her page forever! All ten of us have printed the screenshot of Bryce’s post off and put it in a frame, one day all ten of us hope to congregate somewhere, most likely in America, and sign the backs of all of our photos. I’m still in utter awe and shock-  How many celebrities have you seen that would do a free zoom call with some fans? Not a lot, and that amount is even slimmer when they talk for an extra hour than scheduled. Bryce truly is one of a kind and the best idol anyone could ever hope to have.

Compared to a zoom call with Bryce herself, the few times she has liked my comments on her posts feel like nothing in comparison! I remember being so excited, running downstairs to my parents.

“Mum! Dad! Bryce liked my comment! She knows I exist!”

“Was it actually her? Remember when you got a Facebook request from Robert Downey Jr and it turned out it was a fake account?”

I rolled my eyes at her, it was Bryce, it was her verified account. The comment was a book recommendation I had for her, she posted on her hashtag BDHbookshelf and I thought I’d take a chance and comment a book recommendation I had for her, and the chance paid off.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds with Bryce, she has been such an inspiration to me for the past few years, and she promotes such wonderful causes and body positivity! I hope to one day meet her and thank her in person for changing my life for the better, and I think I’ve come up with the perfect opportunity to meet her- Iz and I have decided to travel up to London for the Jurassic World Dominion premiere in 2022 (if Covid lets us!), we’d get a hotel and actually meet Bryce in person, as well as meeting other members of the online family!

Words cannot fully contain the admiration that I possess for Bryce, her soul is utterly and truly exquisite, she has been such a visionary while I’ve been transitioning from a girl who had no idea who she was with no dreams or aspirations, to a woman who has now found so many new friends and now knows who she wants to be.  

[aestheticallyholland]

NEVER NOT | CONFESSIONS . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 1.8k words

WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST? feel free to comment on this post if you wanna be added to this series' taglist to get notified for updates !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"It's the end of the Earth and the death of the universe that give me the insane courage to say that I am yours if you want me." - Krystal Sutherland, Our Chemical Hearts

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[ december 20, 2015 . . . ]

SEVERAL DAYS PASSED BY and Y/N still didn't have the guts to talk to Tom. She still couldn't face him after what happened just a few days before.

When they were in the same class, Tom would steal glances at her since she was in the first few seats in front of him. It still bothers him so much and every time he would look at her, he felt pain in his chest.

Of course, Y/N would notice this. She wanted to go up to him and talk through it with him. She wanted to apologize to him but she couldn't.

I guess this Christmas would be so lonely. Y/N thought to herself.

As she walked to the hallway towards her locker, she saw Tom leaning on the lockers near hers. She stopped her tracks until Tom noticed that she was there. She felt her heart beating so fast she couldn't describe the feeling anymore.

She walked slowly towards her locker while Tom was just looking at her and placed some of her things inside.

"Is now the perfect time to talk?" Tom suddenly asked that made Y/N jumped a little.

She looked at him slowly until their eyes were locked to each other. She felt that she couldn't talk so she remained silent but nodded in agreement. She closed her locker and they both walked together outside the school building.

The walk was silent and Y/N just followed where Tom was walking to. They walked until they stopped in front of a black motorcycle. Tom got a helmet and sat on his motorcycle and Y/N just stood there confused. Tom looked at Y/N who was just standing there.

"Come on," Tom said and held his hand out for her. She smiled a little and took it and sat behind him. He gave her another helmet and she placed it around her head.

"Hold on to me, Y/N," Tom mumbled and started the engine. Y/N slowly wrapped her arms around Tom's waist then Tom drove out of the school.

Y/N didn't know where they were going, but she hoped they could talk things through with Tom.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Where are we?" Y/N asked when they took off their helmets on their heads and got off the motorcycle.

They were in a place where they could see the city lights. It was like they were on top of the world. They could see the sunset clearly in there.

"This is so—" Y/N stopped when the wind blew and her hair flew. "Beautiful."

Tom chuckled and looked at her as she watched the sun setting. The ray of light hit her face and her hair flew.

She looked so much more beautiful. Tom said to himself. She always does.

He glanced at her hands and suddenly got one of them. This startled Y/N and turn to his side to face him.

"Look, Y/N." Tom started and sighed before continuing. "I'm so sorry for everything." He said. "I'm really sorry for yelling at you and for being such a jerk."

Y/N didn't say anything so Tom went on.

"Everything that I said during the ski trip is true. I mean those, Y/N." Tom said. "What I feel for you is real." He held both of her hands and brought them closer to his chest.

"I tried to resist it but every time I hang out with you, I just can't help it." He said and chuckled. "You are the most amazing girl that I've ever met, Y/N."

Y/N could feel her cheeks burning with everything he said.

"I..." Tom paused for a while because his heart was pounding so fast. "I love you, Y/N."

Y/N's heart suddenly beats so fast with those words of love. She held on tight to his hands and felt tears coming out of her eyes.

"W-what's wrong? Did I do something?" Tom stuttered while asking her when he saw tears coming from his eyes.

Y/N smiled a little although she was crying. It wasn't even a sad cry, it was tears of joy.

"That's the first time someone confessed to me," Y/N admitted and chuckled while wiping the tears from her eyes.

Tom felt relief and pulled Y/N to a hug. "I thought I said something bad that made you cry." He said.

Y/N smiled and said. "I love you too, Tom, so much." She looked at him and he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry that I didn't let you explain your side, Tom." She said. "I was so blinded with anger at that time. It wasn't even about the scrunchie. I just thought you betrayed me." She explained and broke down.

Tom placed a hand on her cheek and wiped away tears from her eyes. "I would never do that to you, Y/N."

"Really?" Y/N asked him and Tom gave a big smile.

"I swear." He held out his pinky finger to her. But instead of intertwining her pinky to his, she pressed her lips to Tom's like a seal for the promise. Tom was taken back at the kiss before kissing her back. Y/N pulled away from the kiss first and said, "It's a swear then." She smiled at him.

Tom smiled back and remembered something that he was going to give her. He let go of Y/N's hand and went through his pockets until he finally got it.

"Here, I got this back for you," Tom said and gave out the Y/N's scrunchie. Y/N's eyes widen when she saw her scrunchie and received it.

"I had to talk to Camille to get it back for you right after you left me," Tom explained. "It wasn't easy, honestly." He chuckled.

"But how did she—" Before Y/N could finish asking, Tom answered right away.

"Remember the first party that went together?" He asked her and she gave a nod. "Camille actually got to talk to me and got it. I don't know why but I forgot about it when she suddenly asked me about you."

Y/N understood him. "I forgive you, Tom. I'm just glad you got it back. It's my only memory of my mom." She said.

"So." Tom started. "Are we okay now?" He asked just to make sure.

"Of course," Y/N answered.

It was already starting to get dark and the city is starting to light up. They decided to stay there for a while to appreciate the beauty of the city while cuddling with each other.

"How did you even know this place?" Y/N asked him. Her head was on his chest and his hand was stroking her hair.

"My family and I go here for hiking and we would end up having lunch or dinner here," Tom said.

"We should do that together," Y/N suggested. "You know, me, you, Erika, and Harrison." She added.

"Would that be fine with you?" Tom asked and Y/N nodded.

They stayed there a little longer until they decided that it was already getting late. They went to Tom's motorcycle hand-in-hand. They wore their helmets and drove down to the city. Y/N held on to Tom as he drove going to her house.

After a few minutes, they have finally arrived at her house. The neighborhood was quiet since it was already night.

"Thank you for today, Tom," Y/N said as she went down from the motorcycle. "I'm glad we got to talk things through." She added.

"Same here." He replied.

Y/N was about to go towards the door until Tom stopped her first.

"Before you go," Tom called out for her and she looked back to him and gave him a confused look.

He walked closer to her until she could look up to him since he is taller than her.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Tom asked her which made her feel her heart beat faster. "For real this time?" Tom was smiling at her which she couldn't resist.

"Yes." She answered right away that made Tom even happier. He wrapped his arms around her. Y/N giggled as she hugged her. He suddenly picked her up and spun her around which made her squeal.

"Tom!" She exclaimed and laughed.

"She said yes!" He shouted and Y/N slapped him playfully.

"You're gonna wake the neighbors up." Y/N scolded him but he just gave her a big smile.

"You don't know how happy I am right now," Tom said.

"I am so happy too, Tom," Y/N replied. Tom gave her a peck on the lips and Y/N deepened it. They pulled from each other and just looked at each other's eyes.

"I love you, Y/N," Tom whispered, loud enough for her to hear him

"I love you, Thomas." She replied and smiled.

"You should go now before your dad opens the door." Tom joked that made her laugh.

"Good night, Tom." She said and remained standing as he walked towards his motorcycle.

"Good night, love!" He said and rode his motorcycle. "Think about me!" Those were his last words before he drove home.

Y/N smiled to herself and went inside her house then went straight to her room. Her house was so quiet so her father and sister were probably asleep already.

She collapsed herself to her bed and gave a heavy sigh. She was glad that Tom was a person who didn't give up on her. She was glad that he is part of her life now.  She is so lucky to have him.

After a few minutes of daydreaming, she finally drifted off to sleep.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It was already almost midnight and Tom just finished taking a bath. It was just a few minutes after he arrived home from dropping off Y/N.

As he went to his room, he turns on the lights and changed to his sleeping outfit, a plain shirt, and sweatpants.

As he was wiping his hair with a towel, he noticed a white paper on his table that he had never seen before. He placed his towel around his shoulder and decided to read it for himself.

His eyes widen as soon as he finished reading it and placed it back down.

I got in. He said to himself and sat down on his bed.

Now he has more decisions to make and to think about.

What should I do? Tom asked himself.

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires @robertpattinson-th @jackiehollanderr @butterflies-glitter

[survey--s]

07.

Have you ever been served breakfast in bed?   Yeah, but I’m actually really fussy about eating food other people have made so I prefer to get up, make it myself and then go back to bed, lol. Which is what I do every single weekend, actually. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked?   I couldn’t tell you, I’m not much of a chef.  Are you one to approach others, or let them approach you first?   I generally let people approach me - I’m not big on approaching people, lol.   When was the last time you took painkillers?   Last week or so, maybe. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else's garden without asking? Maybe as a little kid, yeah.

Who did you give them to, or did you keep them for yourself?   I probably gave them to my mum. What is your favorite thing to do as a little kid?   I used to love playing make-believe, reading, playing with dolls and playing outdoors - riding bikes, skating etc. Are holidays as fun for you now as they were when you were younger?   They’re just different. When I was younger I loved doing all the commercial Christmas stuff, but now as an adult I just appreciate the time off work lol. I mean, don’t get met wrong we do do some Christmassy stuff but generally it’s just nice to be able to “be”. Do you find non-fiction to be boring?   It depends on the topic. Are you a punctual person? Or are you always late? I’m definitely punctual and I hate being late. My business is one of those ones that means I can’t always be on time (’cause you know, animals aren’t robots) so I’ve had to implement time slots so I don’t feel like I’m always late, ha. Do you own a thesaurus? Do you actually use it?   I don’t, no. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written?   20,000 words. Do you ever write your own short stories?   I used to when I was younger, yeah. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle?   Yeah, but nothing major. Have you ever lost something very valuable?   Not in a financial sense, no. Have you ever lost something with a lot of sentimental value?   Yes.   Have you ever been close to drowning?   No, thankfully not.

Have you ever had a panic attack?   Yeah, they’re horrendous and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. What stores do you go into when you go to mall?   I haven’t been to a mall in almost five years, lol. We don’t have typical malls near here. Do you ever stop to eat in the food court?   Again, we don’t really have food courts here but when I go to Australia I always go to the food courts - just because they’re a bit of a novelty to me, really. Do you find it easy to relate to other people?   No. Who is your favorite philosopher?   I don’t have one.   What is your favorite song to sing?   I mean, it depends on my mood. Do you consciously try to be unique, or do you just be you?   I’m just me. Do you worry about being judged by other people?   No, not really. I don’t really think much about other people, in all honesty.  If someone doesn't like you, do you usually want to know the reason?   It depends on who that person is to me, I guess. When was the last time you told someone something really important?   I can’t remember. Have you ever lost a large amount of money?   Nope, thankfully not. Have you ever tried to blame something you did on someone else?   I’m sure I have done, yeah. I used to hate taking the blame for things when I was younger as I was always worried I’d get told off. Did that person get in trouble, or did the plan fail? I don’t remember. What is the weirdest hairstyle you have ever had?   The hideous boys-style haircut my dad inflicted on me when I was about six, lol. When did you first get a cellphone?   I was about thirteen or fourteen. Do you have your own laptop computer?   I do.   Do you drive your own car, or your parents? I have my own car and I occasionally drive my husbands’ car too.

What were you doing before you started taking this survey? Messing about on Reddit and watching Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. Describe the best summer you ever had?   Summer 2015. Spending all day out at the pool with Linnet, late nights out with friends, pub gardens, sunshine and no worries. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving?   We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here. Did you attend a pre-school?   Yes. Do you remember what it was like to learn to count to 100?   Nope. What is something you lost in the process of growing up?   Innocence and naivety. Do you wear any wristbands? If so, what's on them?   Nope. What was the last picture you were in?   I took one of Layla sitting on my shoulder like a parrot the other day, lol. She used to sit like that as a kitten.

Did you have required reading material in high-school?   Of course.   Do you keep your room organized?   Yeah, I’m a very neat/tidy/organised person. I can’t abide a messy home. Do you vacuum daily?   Yeah, at least once a day. How many board games do you own?   Maybe 2-3. Own any books?   Of course, hundreds of them. Recently checked any books out from the library?   No.  I’ve lived here for nearly four years and I’ve never stepped foot in our local library, lol. Part of that was due to COVID, though.  Does your cat give you kitty kisses?   Layla does, yeah, and so does Toby sometimes. Purrlock has better things to do (like eat). Whats in your make-up bags? I don’t have a makeup bag.

[msviolacea]

I did something like this back in 2004 on LiveJournal - spewing my feelings out into the internet aether - and it helped, both at the time and to look back on, so I’m gonna do it now.

TW for death and grief coming up. Hit J now if that’s not what you want.

***

So. My dad is dead. 

I’ve talked to my dad on the phone almost every day since 2007, when he had his stroke. It’s been a weird and painful ritual, but the older he got, and the more health problems he had, the more I relied on it simply to let me know he was okay.

He called on Tuesday, and I was in the middle of a game in voice chat, so I didn’t answer. That wasn’t unusual either, we’ve been skipping a day here or there, if one of us was in a not-so-great mental space. I tried calling on Wednesday, and got no answer. Kind of weird, but also not unheard of, especially since he switched over to a super unreliable cheap phone carrier. Of note: I later learned that he went to the doctor on Wednesday, and talked to my aunt that day, stating that he was tired after being out all day and was going to go to bed early.

No answer again last night. That’s when I started to worry. I texted my aunt, who told me the above, and it eased my worry a bit. Until today, around noon, when she called back and told me he hadn’t returned any of her calls last night or this morning, so she was on her way over to check on him.

I heard nothing again for an hour. When I called her again, she was destroyed. She’d found him in his living room chair, dead for who knows how long. 

He was 78. And now, it’s just me.

Mom died when I was 12. My sister Susan died in 2004. It’s been me and him alone since then, a weird dynamic that a lot of you know I struggled with. And I’m going to be bearing a shit ton of guilt for a very long time, probably the rest of my life, for my inability to give him the emotions he wanted from me. For the fact that I had to move 700 miles away to find myself and never wanted to come back to live near him. For the fact that I only visited twice a year, and not for the last year and a half at all. The last time I saw him in person was Christmas 2019. 

I lived through a lot the last 17 years, since Susan died. His stroke in 2007 and the painful not-quite-recovery that happened. His bypass in 2015, just after I started my new job. And his awful, painful hospitalization and nursing home year in 2018, when he came closest to dying before now. He resented me for so long for “guilting” him into going into the nursing home, but after he left, he finally thanked me for saving his life - acknowledged that he almost died to begin with. It felt like he finally realized I actually fucking cared if he lived or died, even if I’m far away.

But now he’s gone. I don’t know why. Maybe he just had a heart attack. Maybe he had a bad reaction to the steroid shot the doctor gave him on Wednesday to relieve his knee pain. Maybe he messed up his medications. (Maybe ... maybe he did it to himself, but I don’t think so, not when I was due to visit next week, but I have no idea and that thought will haunt me until or unless I find out the real cause, which may never happen, I don’t know.) 

I have no immediate family left. I have very little extended family that’s worth anything - my aunt, her daughter to an extent, and my 30-year BFF who just happens to also be my second cousin. That’s it for people blood related to me. I’m lucky, I have a whole lot of non-blood family and I love them so much I can’t even put it into words right now. But none of that takes away the fact that my dad is gone. My family is gone. No one who really remembers who I was before the age of 14 exists anymore. 

My dad died alone, in an apartment in a small town in Missouri. At least I told him I loved him when I hung up the phone on Monday night. I just hope he believed me.

I don’t know what to do now.

[mikemoon]

( choi yeonjun, cis man ) have you seen MICHAEL “MIKE” MOON ? i heard HE is a COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR at SAN VERTO COLLEGE and an EMPLOYEE at HALL OF FILM. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 6 YEARS. they tend to be CARE-FREE & ADVENTUROUS, but rumor has it they can also be GRUMPY & CLUMSY. [ tally, 25, gmt+4, she/her ] @foolsstarters​

tw // mentions of depression, cheating, divorce, underage drinking and smoking

michael moon, born myungjun moon –– choi yeonjun fc

birthday: september 9, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; virgo

cis man, he/him, bisexual

born and raised in philadelphia, pennsylvania

mike grew up being an only child, and always around the company of his mother in their house. his father was always traveling back and forth from south korea to the states for work. his parents have met at work on one of his father’s trips to the states, and they fell in love. his mother being american-born, she couldn’t really leave philadelphia. she loved it there. so they decided to keep it a long distance relationship.

sometime during those fleeting meetings, she had gotten pregnant with michael. and of course, his father spoiled them both, giving them everything they wanted. he never left them to fend for themselves. when the boy was born, his father named him myungjun, and his mother decided to name him michael for his english name. the nicknames jun, mike, and sometimes junnie were often heard whenever his parents or childhood friends called him.

up until mike was five years old in 2004, he’s lived with his mother, while his father was leaving and coming back for a week or two. but that year, he’s finally moved to the states and stayed with them for longer nights. he even finally married michael’s mother. of course, he still disappeared for a few days or weeks on end for work.

but that was also the year michael’s mother found out that her husband was with another woman. michael has never seen his mother break down like that before. sadly, the young boy was peering into the room when the fight happened and witnessed everything. his mother made her partner choose between the two women, and he eventually told her that he was going to divorce his first wife for her, and appeared to have gone through with his promise. because after that incident, he’s been around more often.

by early 2015, when michael had just turned 16, his mother had gotten a teaching job in ashdown academy, which resulted in their move to san verto, california. meaning, new school and new friends for mike. meanwhile, his dad was still traveling a lot for business and coming back whenever he could.

michael has grown up as a cheerful and energetic child. his friends at any school he went to would tell you how much of a great friend he is, how trustworthy and caring he is. it was so easy for him to make friends anywhere. he was the type of friend who would smile at you and listen to you talk on and on about whatever you liked, and the type who would cheer you on with anything you want to achieve. he wanted everyone to feel included and loved.

so it wasn’t that hard for him to get along with new people once he moved to town. he was a very social person. 

he was also the type of teenager who was out there doing things he wasn’t supposed to. he missed his old friends and his old home, but he wanted to have fun with all the new kids he was befriending. that simply resulted in him going to house parties as an underaged teen to ‘have fun’. his mother didn’t approve of him coming home very late at night, clearly smelling like smoke and alcohol. 

internally he was a depressed mess. of course, no one is completely happy as they grow up. his family was a mess, even if it appeared as fine to everyone else. his family life affected him so much while growing up. mike sometimes could disappear for a few days in his room, and it was always during some of his bad spells.

what made it worse was the day he found out the truth.

it was 2017 when michael walked into his father’s office in their house, looking for him to ask him about something. and instead of finding the man, he found a stack of papers poking from underneath his father’s laptop. upon closer look, they appeared to be divorce papers. michael’s heart sunk, thinking his parents were breaking it off.

michael is a curious kid, he couldn’t help but close the door and read the papers. but what he saw wasn’t his mother’s name, it was another woman. his heart raced, as he put things back where they were and immediately left the room. michael had found out one of his father’s many secrets. he never divorced his first wife all those years ago. he lied and somehow stayed with both women without suspicion... well, until now. clearly the other woman was breaking it off for a reason. 

michael couldn’t help his curiosity. he came back to the room later that night and snapped as many pictures as he could of evidence he could find. he even found his father’s phone (which was easy to figure out the password of) and found a plethora of pictures of the man with a different family, different kids and a different partner. he airdropped the pictures to himself to avoid leaving any traces behind and quickly left again.

a quick search on facebook, and he managed to find the first wife. it was easy with the name and pictures he had. if anything, michael prided himself on being a good internet detective... or stalker. he spent everyday trying to find the rest of the family on the internet. he found the woman’s young daughter on instagram and twitter, along with her older son’s accounts as well. it felt weird. it was a constant “now what?” for michael. he’s found them. what was he going to do now? he couldn’t just message them and tell them everything. and he couldn’t break his mother’s heart by letting her know.

except he had to let her know. he could never live with the fact that he knew his father was betraying her this entire time. and so michael told her everything, and after comforting her all night when she broke down yet again, she immediately ended things and asked for a divorce. now it was just michael and his mother, all alone. and for once, having to get by on their own.

thankfully they were safe, with his mother’s amazing money management skills, and the job she got at the academy, they managed to live their regular lives despite the heavy feeling of a broken family looming around them. the two just wanted to be happy again.

michael spent the next few years trying to lead a normal life. his mental health had gotten worse after everything he’s found out. he went to college, and he continued trying to do well in school. he really wasn’t the best when it came to grades, but he was trying his best.

and truthfully, he couldn’t help but make a few spare accounts on some social medias to follow his father’s other family.

but he eventually decided to just let it go, assuming they definitely knew about his mother and himself, which would explain the first divorce. so he decided to put it in the past and move on.

his mother has moved on as well. she found herself someone who actually cares about her so much (mike’s stupid ass has done a secret background check to make sure this dude wasn’t another cheater lmaoo) and now mike isn’t an only child anymore. it’s been 2 years since his little sister yuna was born, and he loves her so much. he still isn’t used to the idea of a new fatherly figure in his life, but he’s.... getting there. 

little dumb hcs

mike majors in computer science at san verto college, with a concentration in game development and design

hes a lil gamer boy,,, u KNOW he’s that annoying dude with a gamer chair that has a sound system in it khjkh

he posted a few videos on youtube but rly just ditched the channel after like a month. he still posts whenever he feels like it tho and it’s usually just.... messy gaming videos or opinions no one asked for

his dad’s dumb ass still doesn’t know it was mike who exposed him to his mother. he thinks she found the divorce papers on her own. therefore.... mike still gets money from his dad on a monthly basis and gets to keep the car he bought him for his 18th birthday lmaooooo a win 

you probably heard me say this before but.... theres a hc that mike is allergic to eggs. simply bc the idea of him shopping in the vegan section is funny to me 

this boy has a love for frogs ? idk where the obsession came from but you bet you’re gonna see a cute lil frog sticker on everything he owns. he doodles them on everything too ? it’s a habit at this point. he also knows random little facts about them and tells them to anyone who didnt ask for them 

. embarrassing but.. this dude... omg.... a big sana stan.... he has a photocard collection.... he went to a twice concert like 5 times.... dont be surprised if you see a feel special sana photocard in his phonecase.... im embarrassed of him 

he also has a hyunjin mcdonalds hashbrown photocard framed that a friend gave to him for christmas bc.. it’s a rare card,,, and you can see it on a table by the door when you walk into his apartment 😭

mike also has a habit of buying things he doesn’t need ?? he has a plushie collection that has been growing since he was young, and now is getting bigger with the rise of squishmallows

there’s this random hc where he drunk bought a cardboard cutout of john cena ,,,, don’t ask,,, it’s currently guarding his room back at his mom’s house djfhdj

can you tell mike is my most embarrassing , most chaotic character,, 

also he moved out after graduating school and when he started to attend college,,,, gimme some roomies pls

connection ideas ??

michael’s childhood friends; could’ve gone to the same school back in philly before he moved away ?? 

friends he made when he moved to town?? mike is very social and was... kinda popular in school, i’d say. he made friends with basically anyone he found interesting

michael’s ex; they could’ve ended on a bad note, or even on a good one and ended up being friends. im really up for plotting anything.

michael’s best friend; PLEASE i love wholesome best friend plots. it doesn’t matter if they met in san verto or philly

roomies pls !!! i would love it if he could have some roommates who have to deal with his very . peculiar decorating habits 

co workers ?? customers ? regulars ? he works at hall of film ! 

like this to plot or hmu !

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

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71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

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95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[greatfay]

since ur answering asks and shit can u explain what u meant by generational differences in communication

Damn it’s like 2015 tumblr when my inbox used to be WET. So if you’re talking about the controversial opinions post, YES, like I totally understand where people are coming from when they say that generational divides aren’t real (because they aren’t, they’re arbitrary) and distract us from real problems and yes they paint past generations as collectively bigoted when Civil Rights protestors in the 60s (who are in their 70s and 80s now) are mirrors to BLM protestors today, who could be of any age, but the most vocal and famous (at least online, especially irt to the founders, like Patrisse Cullors who is 37.

But how we communicate is sooooo different. I really point to the Internet and Social Media as a major influence in how younger millennials (more Tom Hollands and less Seth Rogans—see even there, I feel like there are two different types of Millennials) and Gen Zrs/Zoomers and even Generation Alpha behave and communicate. We live in a world where we grew up either knowing right out the gate or discovering the hard way that what we say and do has permanence, the kind of permanence that prior generations have never experienced until today. The dumb things kids have been saying since forever can now follow them... forever. We have an inherent understanding of how online spaces work. Compare that to, idk, let’s say you posted on your Facebook (for the first time in 18 months) “All these big and bad grown ass Senators going after actual child Greta Gerwig lol ok, you’re so brave for attacking a CHILD over climate change” and then your aunt, who’s turning “forty-fifteen” in May replies to your post with “So happy to see my passionate niece! Much love from us, hope you’re doing well. Paul is doing great, waiting on his screening results. Tell your mom I said we miss her, we need to get together, we forgive her for last Christmas.”

Like... ok there’s a lot going on there, but your hypothetical aunt is oversharing on a publicly accessible post. And even with the most strict of privacy settings, she’s oversharing where your other Facebook friends (which may include classmates, coworkers, etc.) can see. But she’s saying things that would only be appropriate in a 1-on-1 conversation. This Aunt doesn’t have an understanding of such boundaries, she’s not as technologically literate and hasn’t grown up in a world of Virtual Space, she still gets most of her news from TV, she trusts what a reporter on Channel 4 will read off a script more than what actual video footage of an incident might reveal on Twitter, and she has no clue that she’s been sharing her location data with every post she makes.

There’s such a huge difference. I think it even affects how we experience and express stress and frustration. I think growing up partially in online spaces has made me more accustomed to conflict and consequence-free arguing than someone who never had to worry about that. I’ve been exposed so much to harassment and bullying, triangulating and echo chambers in forums and threads, and vastly opposing point of views at such an early age that it’s had an effect on how I see the world. Compare this to a customer I helped two weeks ago who was looking for a specific type of supplement for children. I found it for her, I handed her exactly what she was looking for, even though her description of the product actually matched several different products; to make sure I’d done my job thoroughly and that she leaves happy and satisfied and doesn’t bother me again, I then show her more products that match her description so that she knows she has options. And she proceeds to freak out, saying “NO, NO, I’M LOOKING FOR [X] AND IT HAS TO BE [XYZ]” and when I say freak out, she looked stressed and PANICKED. And being a retail employee wears you down bit by bit, and add COVID on top of it and little shit like this makes you snap, sometimes. So I have to cut her off like “Why are you screaming and freaking out, jfc you’re holding what you said you wanted. It’s in your hands. I gave you what you wanted, I’m just showing you more things.”

That customer is not an exception, she’s not a unique case. She’s representative of a frightening percentage of her generation, the kids who watched Grease and The Breakfast Club and Ghost in theaters when they were originally released. This is how they communicate and process information. She could not, for some reason, register that her need had been fulfilled, and defaulted to an extreme emotional response when given new and different information.

I’ve yet to deal with someone younger than 35 act the same way, the exceptions being the kids of very wealthy people at my new job who reek of privilege I gag when they walk in—but even they are like *shrugs* “ok whatever” and understanding when there’s something I can’t do for them.

Me: “sorry, we are totally out of that one in your size, but I can order it for you, it’s 2-3 day shipping at no cost to you and we ship it straight to your house”

A rich, white, attractive 22-year-old who’s had access to organic food, a rigorous dermatologist, and financial security since she was born: “mmm... sure, I’ll order it”

A 47-year-old of any socioeconomic background, of any race, in the same situation: “AHHHHHHHHHHH”

I just think it’s crazy how three generations of kids and young adults raised in a world where everything moves so much faster, where knowledge and entertainment and communication can be gathered so much faster, are often so much more polite and patient and understanding. Yesterday I told an older man (mid-50s) whose native tongue is the same as mine, as clearly and succinct as possible, that what he’s looking for is “in aisle 4.” He proceeded to repeat back, “Aisle 7?” four time before I dropped everything to show him what he needed in aisle 4, despite his insistence that he didn’t need me to walk him there. 4 and 7 sound nothing alike in English. There’s just something going on up there 🧠 that’s different.

Oh, other generational divides!!! We have different approaches to labor and working. Totally different! I’m a “young” millennial where I’m almost Gen Z, and I’ve noticed an awful trend among my demographic where people actually brag about working 90 hour work weeks. Or brag about how they skip breaks and live on-call to get the job done for “the hustle” like this “hustle, become a millionaire by 30″ culture that’s dominated these kids, idk where tf that came from. Like why are you proud of being a wage slave, getting taken advantage of by your millionaire/billionaire overlords. Compare this to my mother’s generation (she’s a borderline Genius X’er, she and her best friend were a year too young to watch Grease when it came out and had a random older woman buy tickets for her; she went to Prince concerts, took photos of him, then sold the photos on buttons at school, that’s her culture and teenage experience), where she’s insistent on her rights and entitlements as an employee, and these things she instilled me: “whatchu mean they didn’t schedule a break for you and you’re working 12 hrs today? oh no, you’re off, don’t answer your phone cuz you are NOT available!” There are Gen X’ers who entered the workforce at a time that America was drifting toward this corporate world, with more strictly defined regulations, roles, and understandings of labor rights (and also, let’s talk about how the 80s there was so much more attention on workplace harassment, misogyny and gender divides in wage gaps, etc. etc... not that much has changed, but at least it was talked about!). There are young people today who are taken advantage of because they aren’t as informed or don’t feel as secure and valuable enough to claim what belongs to them.

At the same time, those generations (Gen X and older) have a different viewpoint of hierarchies in the workplace and respect irt our direct supervisors. That’s how you get this blurring of boundaries between Work Life and one’s Personal Life that leads to common tropes in media written by their generations, where oh no! I’m having my boss over for dinner and the roast beef is still defrosting :O is such a “relatable thing” for them... meanwhile us younger generations are like I don’t even like that you know where I live, and if I see your 2017 Honda Civic pass my place one day, we’re going to have a problem. I think older generations have a different relationship with the word “Respect” than we do. Like, my grandma, who’s turning 87 (?) this year, and the other seniors in my area, they have a different concept of honor and an expectation of professional boundaries that I, and my mom and her generation, just don’t see (so then there’s something in common with Gen X’ers and the rest of us.) My dad grew up in a world where talking and acting like George Bailey and knocking on someone’s door with a big smile could get you a job, a job that could pay for college and rent no problem. My mom grew up in a world that demanded more prestige, where cover letters and references could get you into some cushy jobs if you’re persistent and ballsy enough. And I grew up in a world where potential employers literally don’t see your face when you apply unless they lurk on any social media profiles you have publicly available and they hold all the cards, and you need all those CVs and reference letters just to make minimum wage... so I feel like I am powerless in the face of such employers.

[butmaybeidk]

[i roll up to my own old bedroom, circa summer 2015. the fandom calendar i used last year still hangs on the wall above my desk, unreplaced. the full-desk weekly calendar my mother gave me when i got my first job is still unused, bearing a note about where i am in a failed show rewatch. notes to myself, inside jokes from bands and shows and movies, tiny sticky note sketches of people with hearts around them - all years old, all stuck in a flurry to the shelves above where my former self sits at the desk. he is 21.]

him: woah why are you in here, i-

[he starts to get up from his chair]

me: [voice low and even] shh bro it's good, mom doesn't know i'm here, i'm you by the way.

him: [sits down carefully, excited and also untrusting] how do i know you're not lying?

me: dude look at me. [beat] then look at you.

him: [eyes narrow] the real me would know i have no concept of what i look like. get out.

me: [eyes rolling] the first cigarettes you ever buy will be menthols instead of the good ones your friend shared with you that one night because you forgot the word "turkish" was in there, and the guy who works at the shell station is an asshole, but you'll be too damn desperate to feel something and for the transaction to end that when you see the package is wrong you'll just nod in angry silence.

him: [beat, solid eye contact] i really do hate him, yeah.

me: yeah.

him: wait i start smoking?

[he shifts a foot, in turn nudging an empty wine bottle collection under the desk.]

me: yeah, i mean. it's like before christmas this year, actually? you go to a house party and sleep over cause you're drunk and mom freaks out, goes to inpatient, that really sucked-

him: [hissing, eyes cutting to the door through which come sounds of the living room, including our parents' voices] mom goes to inpatient!?

me: woah partner, slow your roll a little there, yes. it will suck, you'll have regrets, yadda yadda, try not to beat yourself up or whatever-

him: i-

me: i'm kinda here on a mission or whatever though, so i'd like to like [beat, pops gum] get to that.

him: oh uh... yeah. sure?

[i walk further into the room, only two steps because it's a tiny room for an adult to live in and it's cluttered from the bipolar energy it's contained for almost our whole life.]

me: this may be a hard pill to swallow, dude.

him: [deadpan] i take three to keep me running already. hit me.

me: wow kid, 2018 is gonna hit you like a fucking freight train.

[he frowns, a mere pressing of the lips he learned from our dad]

[beat]

[i sigh]

me: i'm sorry, it's just clear you need to face the facts, and that's mainly just that glorification of your position of illness doesn't let you zoom the fuck out and realize there are things worth fighting for that aren't built upon other people's presences in your life.

him: if this is about-

me: yeah, bro, it's about our first real girlfriend, but she's just the tipping point for a long damn road of making breakthrough after breakthrough that all lead the same damn direction.

[beat. he looks murderous. i look like i remember the fire i felt in my chest back then, like i still feel it in my day.]

me: look at me. listen to me. i promise we stopped making promises we won't keep anymore, and-

[he fidgets with an empty cup that doubtless held an iced coffee days ago and is now dry and dirty.]

him: please. get to it. work in the morning.

me: [nods] gotcha. 2 jobs. split week between days and graveyard. 50 hours a week. almost as much as dad, 2 hours less. it's killing you.

him: [deadpan] wish it would.

me: hey. i'm not here for an it gets better speech, i know you hate that shit. it doesn't get better, you just learn how to fucking enjoy things.

him: [slowly] i enjoy things.

me: you're currently eating yourself alive, and have been for years, about not enjoying things anymore though and i gotta be real with you the parasocial aspect of all this is driving me insane-

him: woah wait-

me: i don't even remember if we knew what that meant at this point though, so you can imagine-

him: i know what that means.

me: i- okay. okay. so anyway i only came here because i recently realized that it applies to other people online as well.

[beat.]

him: [head shaking] wait, i-

me: [rushing on] which is valid, but we get upset when we lose interest in things because people we admire are an inextricable part of that thing for us. we love people, a lot. and while it's okay to miss them because we enjoyed that thing and their part of our experience with it, it's like. not great to let ourself feel like we've betrayed someone we had nearly no connection with because we're leaving the thing we like behind for- get this- something else that gives us a fresh or even just different spike of dopamine. like please dude, please remember that content creators and big name fans in your spaces are not people you know, necessarily, even if you've read all their shit or commented on their content. even if you've been alongside them, you don't know them for shit or owe them fucking shit.

[i gasp for breath.]

him: okay, so-

me: [desperate] it's not fucking fair to hold yourself to a standard of being missed when there are other people in the world- i promise you, we've finally proven to ourself there are other people in the world-

him: hey, i-

me: you wouldn't get it yet, you kinda have to suffer a lot for that one, we don't have the time-

him: [blinking, eyebrows rising] other... people...

me: POINT IS. there are so many people in this world. most of them won't actually notice if you don't stick around for the rest of eternity, much less the rest of the day when you realize you're bored, or that something else just gives you more. yeah, it's a hard world out there, but if they don't know you personally, they can't miss you personally.

him: this is fascinating, uh, and it makes sense, but won't you fuck up our life from what you have now by saying this? like this is a heavy issue, weirdly, for us.

me: [snorts] you think we have that power?

him: [appalled] yeah, i actually did! you've been here! and it's- it's now!

me: [laughing] oh. oh my sweet sum-

him: don't. i'm a witch. it makes sense.

me: i guess. but be realistic with magic. i just astral projected into your dream. y'ain't even gonna remember. i just hope, y'know. osmosis or whatever.

him: that- [beat] explains the giant eyes out in the backyard.

me: [turns to look out the window] oh, red this time.

[hutchhitched]

Too Familiar (Epilogue)

After almost five years, Too Familiar (AO3) is complete. I started this back in 2015 for @promptsinpanem‘s The Farewell Tour and only intended it to be a one-shot, but a number of people asked for a HEA. I knew then (and still firmly believe) that there is no traditional “happy ending” for this story, and I wrote the rest with that in mind. In 2017, I expanded the story for @loveinpanem-blog​‘s A Candle For the Caribbean. Once that was submitted, I still didn’t feel like the characters were done with me, so I decided to expand it to what it is today. This epilogue has been written for three years and is posted with only minor revisions. I know not everyone has enjoyed reading these characters, and I know others have found this story very meaningful. I can understand both experiences, but I’ve been faithful to the vision I had from the beginning. That was most important to me. It’s been therapeutic for me to heal my own wounds resulting from my parents’ divorce and dad’s affair and my friendship with the man on whom this Peeta is based (He’s actually read this story. I hope it’s helped him, too.). It is a painful thing for your soulmate to be married to someone else. For all of you who have read, commented, reblogged, edited, brainstormed, and so on, thank you. It’s time to put this world to bed and let these characters have their peace.

___________________

Dear Elam,

 Happy 40th birthday, darling! I have loved you for so long, and I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. I know it hasn’t always been easy. You’ve had more than your share of hardship, but you’ve triumphed over all of it. You’re a wonderful man, a great dad, and fantastic son.

 This probably isn’t what you wanted for a present, but I didn’t think I could wait any longer. Your father misses you more than you can imagine, and if anything I say can bring two of the Mellark men back together, then I have to try. Forgive an old woman her idiosyncrasies. I’ve never been very good at games.

 As you know, your father and I met at work. We were both young, idealistic, and starry-eyed. Both convinced we could fix the world though social work, we did our best to plug gaping holes in society—helping families find relief, placing children in quality foster care, guiding parolees along the overly tough road to reintegrating into society. Peeta and I both wanted to right wrongs and ease pain, but our personal lives did nothing but the opposite.

 We were friends first. I was enamored by his goodness, integrity, and sense of humor. He’s always been a gentle soul. When he was younger, he radiated peace to everyone around him. I needed that desperately. I lost my dad when I was young, and my mom turned to drugs to cope. I raised my little sister, your Aunt Prim, from the time I was eleven until she left for college. What your father gave me was exactly what I needed when he became my best friend.

 I didn’t know he was married at first. I found out fairly quickly, and I put that in a box to pull out when I needed reminding that we were just friends. I didn’t know how he felt about me for a long time. I didn’t think about him that way. He was married to your mother, and we were co-workers who shared a special bond. To be honest, I’m not sure he knew either. He was devoted to his marriage, loyal to a fault, and that’s probably why neither of us realized what was happening between us until it was too late.

 He fell in love with me, and I fell in love with him. Madge was already pregnant with you when I realized how I felt. Still, he remained faithful until he mentioned my name and your mother became suspicious. We tried pulling away, but we were thrown together by work and mutual attraction. When we finally gave in, you were only a few weeks from being born.

 And then you came. I’ve never seen someone so in love with his child. You were his whole heart, and he ended things with me to provide a good home and life for you and your mother. And that worked for a while. I know it tore him up to seek me out with you at home, but sometimes things don’t make sense. What we have together doesn’t, and I don’t expect anyone to understand—even you, his firstborn.

 We tried to stop. He tried to make it work for you and your mom, but eventually, he knew he had to leave, to be honest with himself and with her, and to provide you with an example of a happy marriage. He didn’t want you to grow up seeing a man trapped by responsibility rather than choosing to stay because of love. He wanted better for you.

 Divorce is always painful, I know. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, a child always wants his parents together, and I’m sorry that didn’t happen in your life.

 You may think everything was perfect between us. It wasn’t. I love your father more than anything other than you and your brother and sister, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t carry a huge burden of guilt. I lost count of the number of times he cried because he knew he’d hurt you, and I picked fights with him constantly because I was ashamed of helping break up his marriage.

 If I’d only been stronger, I told myself a million times, but I wasn’t. And neither was he. In the end, we needed each other in a way I can’t explain. Fighting it didn’t work.

 I don’t want you to think we weren’t happy at all. We were. Still are, in fact, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have regrets. If we had to do it all over again, I think your father would have found another job and stayed away from me.

 But then we wouldn’t have Hunter and Tiny (She still goes by that, you know.), and I know how happy they make him, too.

 I’m rambling. My apologies, but I am old and this may be my only chance to convince you to reconcile with your father before it’s too late. Old men take things harder than young ones, and he misses you very much. The gap between you has widened to a bottomless chasm over the years, and he doesn’t have any ideas about how to bridge it.

 Your father’s a good man, Elam. He’s loved me more than I ever thought I deserved, and he helped me see my self-worth in countless ways I couldn’t. He’s loved our children as much as he loves you. He even managed to patch things up with your mother before she passed. More impressively, he mended his relationship with your grandmother and uncles over the years, despite how much they hated me and blamed me for his divorce.

 He’s a hard worker. He’ll put in the time and effort to make things right with you if you’ll let him. I know you miss him. I miss you, too, and we’d love to see you on Christmas this year when your sister and brother come to visit. Nothing’s complete without you there. It would be nice to have another holiday with all of us together. Your babies might want to meet their grandparents too.

 Please, Elam. Neither of us ever meant to hurt you. I know you well enough to know you’re a good man like your father, even if we’ve only been able to watch you from afar. Give him another chance.

 We’re all familiar with mistakes. Some of us are too familiar. Please help us put them behind us. The burden has been very difficult to bear.

 With love, Mama Kat