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#my drunken rambling
bravano · 4 months
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guys today is my birthday I’m 18 amd Im finally able to get drunk which is cool and shit and omg but wonder what saiki would be like drunk like would he be emotional or like even more cold or would he be happy or even like angry maybe wait would be even be able to get drunk or would his body work like peter parkers where his metabolism is too fast to even register it
these are the questions
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drunk-futurist · 1 year
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I think cumming deep inside another nonbinary person would cure all my ills
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rose022 · 2 months
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lolol bonus pics
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@aroace-polyshow moon
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meowmeowuchiha · 4 months
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I have decided that Zane Flynt from Borderlands is the mysterious handsome rogue type but he fits the "mysterious" part in an atypical way.
He's mysterious not in the sense that you know nothing about him and he refuses to talk about it
But mysterious in the way that he talks about himself a LOT and you have a LOT of information about him and his past but everything he shares leaves you with far more questions than answers and idk I think that's wonderful
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acoraxia · 4 months
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Erlang and Wukong's rivalry runs very deep. There was this ancient poem that said if those two teamed up, they could achieve anything.
Also, there was this old version (I think the first?), of Lotus lantern, where Chenxiang had to fight against them. In this version, he manages to defeat both of them. it's the only record where someone manages to beat Wukong and Erlang although as I said, it's an old version, and it depends how people want to see it. I don't quite remember if it was mentioned if Chexiang merged with the lantern in this version or if the lantern appears in that old version. I believe that one of the reasons why Chenxiang can defeat Erlang is because the lantern is a creation of Nuwa. Then there were more versions of Lotus Lantern and Wukong became Chenxiang's mentor.
By the way, I would give you the link to where I saw the fsyy movie, but I literally had to refresh the page all the time to be able to see it, so I don't think you'll want it.
Greek Mythology: we have over three stories for the same myth and it’s weird and hard to follow every time! Nothing can beat us
Chinese Mythology: Hold my wine.
Funny thing is that you’ll find various different sources saying different things and we can’t revive Wu Cheng’en to ask him what his canon would be. Like the fact that in FSYY (from what I’ve read thus far) Yang Jian is the son of a Prime Minister rather than the Jade Emperor or how in other myths his names range from Li Erlang to Li Bing or Zhao Yu. The most popular version being Yang Jian though.
I remember reading that Chenxiang was taught by SWK, I never heard of the version where he defeats Wukong so that’s interesting. I thought his mother made the lamp too? Super interestingnckdnxk I love learning about myths and other iterations. Was the poem about Erlang and SWK working together from JTTW or some variant like that? Or was it its own poem :0?
oomfie idc so long as i get to see the dang movie i’ve been waiting for 84 years
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thymelessink · 6 months
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PotC was on the telly a few days ago, I started a new sketchbook (after years of not using a sketchbook, just random paper) and I never drink and today I had some mulled wine and whiskey and now I have feelings.
So here's some drunken sketches of my two favourite men in PotC. And my handwriting looks like absolute garbage at this point.
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geteffed · 6 months
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I honestly love how we’ll (hopefully) never know which one is Real Beth and which one is Clone Beth. Rick gave his daughter the best of both worlds. He gave his daughter a friend who would always be there and never judge her because at one point, she felt/was the exact same way.
I… Rick Sanchez man. Fucking legend.
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glorysbox · 8 months
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You said that bi-han would be so sweet to his daughter, especially if she looks like her mama.
Also that the little princess is gonna be spoiled af. So imagine how cute it would be when his daughter copies everything her mama does and how she dresses.. bi-han being surrounded by his love and her mini me ough
And ik bi-han expects his wife to be tough and discipline to his sons as well, but i think can also see her being the warm hugs his sons need and the balm that soothe their aches behind the closed door.
nonna i love you sm… for this… especially the last paragraph. i bet he would see parallels with his life + his sons’ lives, especially with wifey being a good mom to their sons (and daughter)
i think bihan’s mothers death had definitely affected him + kuai liang greatly. in his mk1 intros he spoke so highly of his mother and how she would be proud of him… he misses her 💔💔💔
seeing his wife be what hes always wanted as a child definitely is something he admires but would never directly mention… you can tell though because when his wife is coddling their sons he won’t step in and will just watch silently while she cares for them
he finally has the family he wanted as a child but from a different perspective now 😔 i can see him being so hell-bent on not wanting to be like his father
he wants to do everything RIGHT!!
sigh 💔💔💔i need him
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avernusreject · 8 months
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Nothing quite like getting dressed up and pregaming to go out for your friend to decide not to go last second. Well tonight looks like I’m playing bg3 in a slutty dress and slightly drunk. Astarion would approve
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blckgrlmov13s · 2 months
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all i think about when watching inyunasha now is the voice of my former man crush monday cole from lego ninjago🥺🥺🥺RIP Kirby Morrow fr☹️
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drunk-futurist · 1 year
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Hiya tumblr. I'm a human from the US of A and this is where I am openly horny on the internet.
A bit about me:
he/they
masc amab nonbinary/agender
bisexual, switchy service top
vintage 1989
if you think you know me IRL no you don't
not always drunk I swear
This blog is for adults only. So GTFO if you're under age 18. Racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, pedos, TERFs, and other shitheads can fuck off too.
For all the decent, horny adults left, thanks for stopping by!
My lewds are tagged #my body if you're into that. Asks are answered with #drunk answers. Text posts like this one are at #drunken rambling.
Nothing else is tagged consistently, except other Tumblr content creators who are under #beautiful people. If you want me to start tagging/cw something just ask.
Asks, DMs, and submissions are open to all, especially mutuals. Lewds and nudes are welcome and encouraged. Spicy chat is welcome but be warned that my schedule is fucky and I won't be able to reply consistently.
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This has been your obligatory pinned post. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
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friendof-blahaj · 4 months
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i'm so happy i feel like i've finally acheived problematic transgirl status
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suburbanlegnd · 5 months
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Sometimes I think about how disgusting my mom is and then realize that I, in fact, am just like her.
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blessedarethequeer · 1 year
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genuinely pleased to report that approximately 60% of my parish's cantors are at the giant drunk Pride gay bar dance party
truly the Lord is present and joyous here in our midst <3
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goldeneyedgirl · 6 months
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TwiFicmas23 Day 3: Hybrid (The Party)
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Good evening! I might have spent today reading a very old draft and realizing that as bad as the draft is, there is potential there. I'm pretty excited, and hoping I can salvage some of it for a future day.
But today I humbly offer a new scene from the OG Hybrid. This particular scene comes from earlier in the fic - after Jasper tried to feed on Alice and the Cullens begrudgingly welcome Alice to join their lunch table, but you wouldn't call them friends yet. Plus Alice is still set on being a normal high schooler with normal experiences.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!
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The party is exactly what I expected - eighty teenagers in a log house unsupervised. There’s a good mix of Res kids and town kids; and from the conversation that I overhear, it's not just Forks High students from town either - at least a few are from the hippie school which might explain the distinctive smell wafting from the den - and a few people who have definitely graduated. 
I feel awkward from the moment I arrive; after all, other than Angela and the Cullens, I don’t really hang out with many kids from school. I was so determined to have a normal experience and go to a high school party without vampires, I hadn’t really considered the reality of the situation. And the sheer amount of complete strangers here puts me on edge - it’s one thing to try and hang out like a normal teenager with my classmates and schoolmates. It’s an entirely different thing to be faced with a house full of random people when I don’t have anyone here to watch my back. The few parties I had attended in Chicago, I had gone to with one of my foster siblings, and no matter how much we disliked each other or what arguments we had, we always had each other’s back. 
And Cynthia was way too young to be dragged to a high school party - no matter how enthusiastically she would have attended this with me - so I was on my own. I could do this, I had been to parties before. Hell, I’d been a homeless middle schooler when I went to my first party, a rave in an abandoned warehouse. A house party was nothing to be nervous about. 
It’s easy enough to get a slice of pizza and a cup of what I know isn’t just a sugary sweet concoction of soda and juice. I smile and I talk - compliments for a girl in a bedazzled mini-dress, and another one with long pink and white hair; a couple of jokes for the guys manning the pizza boxes. I feel like I’m playing the part of a teenage girl at a party more than I feel like myself, but it’s something. I even manage to smile prettily and take a puff of a cigarette that I know isn’t tobacco and maybe have another drink and another until I’ve made party-friends with a group from Port Angeles who know a guy who knows a girl who got an invite or something. I feel a little more at ease with the alcohol in my system, and when the conversation turns to something I’m more familiar with.
In fact, I’m in the middle of explaining how we used to do our nails at my last foster home, when I’m rescued by a group of Forks High classmates; Mike Newtown is clearly their spokesperson as he unwelcomely grabs my arm. 
“Hey, we didn’t know you were here,” he says loudly; I can tell from the flush on his cheeks, he’s either helped himself to the beers piled into the bathtub down the hall or he’s been drinking the same punch as I have.
“I’ve been here a while,” I say, and decide that I’m not going to make a fuss that he’s glanced down at my chest right now. He can look twice, and then I start getting bitchy.
“We’re about… about to play a game. Connor’s setting up, come join us.”
There’s something about the way that Mike is pulling on my arm, and two of the girls he’s with are looking at me that makes me agree, quickly bidding the group I was talking to farewell. 
“You’re Alice, right?” One of the girls sidles up to me, sloshing her drink a little. “First party, huh? I’m Jennifer. A lot of these people crashed tonight. You gotta look out for each other.”
“Mrs Sawyer is gonna lose her shit when she sees this,” chortled the other girl, shoving a full cup at me. “Rob isn’t going to see the light of day until he’s like thirty after this.”
A boy I recognise from English - Austin - sidled up to us. “Rob’s in the den and he’s out. He’s not gonna have a clue what happened here. Told him to pace himself, but he never fuckin’ listens. Conner’s set up, let’s go.”
I take my seat at whatever dumb drinking game this is, and everyone seems eager to play. Jennifer and Samantha sit with me, but it doesn’t stop Mike Newton - who seems somewhat out of place here, without his usual group of friends - from clumsily flirting with me. I’ve had too much of the soda to appropriately call him out and make him stop, and my lukewarm disinterest seems to actually encourage him, though Jennifer swats at his hand when he attempts to casually touch my leg. 
It’s not the worst night or party I’ve been to. It’s hot and loud, but there aren’t any fights breaking out, and most of the illicit substances seem to be kept in the back rooms of the house. It’s amazing how time locked up in a mental hospital cured me of any interest in anything stronger than weed and whatever was in my drink; plus the last thing I wanted was to get that kind of reputation. 
But by midnight, I feel… sticky. I’m sweaty and my mouth tastes sour and sickly; my head is spinning and I’m too hot and I need to get out of this shitty house and away from these people who don’t even know who I am. Samatha and Jennifer have clearly decided to keep track of me, and there’s some obligation because I’m one of them, but they aren’t my friends and we probably won’t acknowledge this night ever again. Plus, a few of the hippie school guys have been watching me from the corner, and even through the haze of alcohol and weed, alarm bells are ringing - I can sense animosity from a mile away. 
I need to get out of here. 
It’s easy enough to excuse myself to the bathroom and then just leave through the laundry room door without anyone noticing. My head feels syrupy as I make it down the deck stairs and out into the night. 
It’s colder outside than I remember and the air is such a relief, I want to press my face to the ground. I wish I had some water, but I need to get home - I was supposed to get a ride from someone here, but I didn’t trust myself to ask the right person right now, and I don’t really want to wait around any longer.
Plus, it was only a ten minute drive from town to this house, I could easily walk it. I’d made Simon drop me off at the crossroad half a mile away, I knew the way home. 
Stumbling down the driveway, I let the noise and light of the party fade away behind me. The house was right up against the lake, and the drive wove through the forest from the main road - leaving me in the dark. But it was nice; a relief.  
It was a beautiful night, and I was enjoying the walk - it was even helping sober me up. 
At least, I was right up until about halfway, when I tripped over something and landed flat on my face in the gravel. That also indicated to me that I was… not quite as sobered up as I thought, because the pain felt very distant in that moment, like I was filing it away for later. 
I shouldn’t have had so much to drink when I knew it was spiked.  
Getting up was not a possibility. My ankle was sore, the world was spinning, my knees were burning, and the ground was nice and cool. The best I could manage was to half crawl to the side of the driveway and collapse in the long grass to wait for it to pass. I wasn’t sure if that was the night, my drunken state, or my inability to stand up, but I figured I could wait it out. I was comfy. 
It was a pretty night, with the clouds drifting across the sky. It’s pleasant enough that I just lie there, staring up at the moon and the stars, with my head swimming. It’s not as bad as the feeling I used to get in the hospital when they’d give us the drugs to make us sleep. That made me feel like I didn’t have control over my arms and legs, like I was stuck and trapped and at the whim of someone else. This is warmer, and I’m still in control; kind of like I’m dreaming but awake. It was nicer. I kind of understood why some kids had preferred alcohol to meds now. 
It’s just so peaceful, even if the damp is seeping through my top, that I lose track of the time. Dad had been worried letting me go, and made me swear I’d be home by one but I was nearly certain that I was going to miss that deadline. It was weird having a curfew - unless I was homeless, curfews at the hospital and in my foster homes had been more of the ‘in bed by nine, don’t even consider an alternative’ flavour. 
At a certain point, though, reality began to break through the peaceful little haze I had going on, and I remembered my phone in the little sling bag that had gallantly survived the entire night without getting lost. 
There were no cabs in Forks to my knowledge - and from what I had seen at school, there was a fifty-fifty chance they’d refuse to pick me up for one of three reasons: I was the daughter of the gay guys, I was the mysterious newcomer, or that I had been drinking at a high school party. After a few weeks in Forks, I’d found that the small-town judgment and prejudice were quieter than expected but it ran deep. 
Cynthia had programmed a bunch of useful numbers into my phone for me, so maybe that included a solution to the fact I was lying in the mud next to the driveway of a classmate’s house.  
Scrolling through my phone contacts, I wondered if I should just bite the bullet and call Dad or Simon, and own the fact that I was still a little bit high and still a little… okay, a lot drunk. I wouldn’t be the first ex-foster kid to come home drunk, and I wouldn’t be the last. But I also dreaded the look on my Dad’s face; that tired and disappointed one that looked like he had failed me and not the other way around. I wanted so much to be able to say that yeah, the party was fine, and have that been the end of it. I didn’t want the lecture, I didn’t want the embarrassment and I didn’t want…
I froze as I looked at my list of contacts. Five new numbers that I had certainly not programmed into my phone, and Cynthia certainly hadn’t added because if she knew and had these numbers, I was nearly positive that she would have sold them off to the highest bidder in the middle school cafeteria. 
How the fuck had the Cullens’ collective numbers ended up in my phone? Had I done it at one of our awkward lunches? That seemed unlikely, but my brain couldn’t completely rule that out as a possibility, especially when I was sleep-deprived or bogged down with homework. And why would Dr Cullen’s number be included if we’d exchanged numbers during lunch? As shitty as their high school act was, they at least knew that offering me Dr Cullen’s number would be fucking weird. 
Scowling, I selected the one member of the Cullens I would actually willingly talk to - well, the one member of the Cullens that I was quasi-certain wouldn’t immediately pass the phone off to any of the three members of the family I refused to speak to on principle. 
Emmett seemed cool, but I sensed weakness in him when it came to the will of Rosalie and tonight was not the night to test that theory out. 
If I hadn’t had so much punch, this would seem like a terrible idea. But if I hadn’t had so much punch, I’d be cheerfully walking myself home. Well, not cheerfully. But I’d be home in bed already, willing tonight to just go down in my personal history as mediocre and not worth repeating. 
“Hello?” The sound of Jasper’s voice sent a shiver down my spine and a spike of … reassurance? Like everything was okay or would be okay because he was so good at putting things… putting me… back together. 
Or he would be, in the future. I had seen it. 
“Why is your number in my phone?” In my head, it sounded indignant but even I could hear my words run together. Fuck. “I didn’t put it there.”
“…Alice?” The way he said my name… I thought I’d known what it would sound like after years of visions. But it was different in real life, better. He sounded confused and slightly startled, which was new. Normally when he said my name it was a polite greeting. In my visions, it was warmer and more intimate. 
“Yes, it’s Alice - do you and your family regularly inflict your phone numbers on unsus… unsusp… teenage girls that don’t know you stole their phones? You’re getting us all confused?”
“Alice are you… intoxicated?” He sounds incredulous. 
“Why does that matter?” I demanded. Jasper might be the love of my life, but he had not yet earned the privilege of commenting on my chosen activities, let alone get to police me. “For your information, there was a party at Rob Sawyer’s tonight and all the real teenagers went. You and your family need to be more convincing.”
“I can attest that not everyone went, because Bella is downstairs with Edward,” Jasper replied. 
“Well, her high school priorities are clearly different to mine,” I retorted; I was irritated that he was so calm and I couldn’t work out why. “I prefer to enjoy my youth. It’s fleeting, you know. One day she’ll look back and wonder why she spent so… so much time listening to her old man boyfriend play the piano when she could have been doing something fun… like going to a rave.” What was I saying? I hated raves. I liked getting dressed for them, because it was fun, but I hated how sweaty and crowded and smothering they were.
“Where are you, Alice?” Jasper sounds far too amused for my liking, and if he were here, I’d have smacked him. 
“I’m fine.” My back was actively wet now, and I was certain I was covered in mud. 
“Uh huh. Are you alone?”
“Yes.” There was a nearby frog I could hear, but nothing else. I was surprised - no one had left yet. Was it normal for Forks High parties to go on this long or did people stay over or what?
“You should call your parents, Alice. Get them to pick you up. Or Carlisle can if you’re worried,” Jasper says so kindly that all my indignation deflates like a balloon, and a ball of panic wells up in my chest. 
“No. You cannot tell my father about this,” I said. “You have to swear.”
“Alice, I think your parents would prefer you were home safe rather than alone and intoxicated,” Jasper said soothingly. 
“No. I don’t… they aren’t allowed to see this. I’m already too much trouble and messed up their lives, and I don’t want to disappoint them again,” I said, and felt tears well up in my eyes. “I must be costing them so much and they have to take me a bunch of places and watch me and every time I mess up or say something wrong, they get this look on their faces like they screwed up. It’s not. They didn’t have to take me into their home, not really, and I… I want to make it worth it for them.” I sniffled. 
There was silence on the other end of the phone. 
“Tell me where you are, Alice. I’ll drive you home.”
“Rob Sawyer’s house party. It’s on a dirt road.”
“That’s not… Don’t hang up, okay? I’m going to track your phone.”
“That sounds illegal, Jasper,” I said, wriggling around on the grass to get more comfortable. “How do you even do that?”
“It’s a long story. And yes, it is. But desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“I’m fine.” Kind of cold and muddy, and my knees and ankle were hurting in kind of a distant way, but the sweaty nausea had passed. I could easily fall asleep here. It wouldn’t even make the top ten worst places I’d slept in my life. 
“We’ll agree to disagree, Alice.” I could listen to Jasper say my name forever. “But I do have a question for you while we wait.”
“Okay?” 
“Why did you call me? I put all the numbers in your phone. Why me?”
I froze. He didn’t sound like he resented that I had chosen him; there was a note of something in his voice, something raw and real and even a little bit… not eager. But something. Maybe curiosity?
“Who else would I call? I hate doctors. Rosalie hates me. Edward doesn’t trust me and he reads minds. Emmett was a possibility, but he looks easily broken,” I said. 
“And Esme?” Jasper sounded disappointed. 
“I have a lot of mommy issues, let’s not unpack that box. I didn’t see her number there anyway.” I propped myself up on one arm. “You weren’t the last resort, Jasper. You were my first and only choice.”
“…Why?” Now I could hear the self-loathing in the boy’s voice. 
“Because I trust you,” I replied. “You’re the person I trust the most in the world. Or you will be one day.”
Silence again. “I don’t understand.”
“I’ve known about you for a long time,” I said, watching the clouds move across the sky. “You’re a protector, a planner. You love to read and learn but you loathe high school. You have a wicked sense of humour, and you just… fix everything. There’s nothing too terrible or silly or chaotic that you don’t make better. Just by being there, you’re making things perfect…” He was. I had years of dreams of laughing and talking together, of the way he would stroke my hair and wrap his arms around me. The way we’d lie together, him reading and me drawing or messing around on my phone. We were meant to be so happy. 
And it had to be said that he was… goddamn magnificent in bed. And like, I wasn’t entirely sure when he had died, but it was definitely in a ‘lie back and think of England’ era for women, so I felt like I should send a fruit basket or something to whichever ex-girlfriend had intervened because he was… outstanding. I’d only seen stuff like that over the last few years and it had been very enlightening on multiple levels. It had also been comforting that after every single thing that I’d lived through, I’d still be able to have that kind of intimacy with another person without all that fear and grief looming over me, and even enjoy it. 
If he gave me one single chance to be something, whatever he wanted, I’d be his ride-or-die forever. I knew how fiercely and completely we’d love each other, and I wanted that so badly. He’d been my best friend long before either of us had set foot in Forks, and I just needed him to take that leap of faith and trust me, the weird girl who knew too much, to capture that future that we both desperately wanted and needed. 
And I had no idea how I would convince Jasper of that. That I wouldn’t ask for this if it wasn’t something that I was so very certain we both wanted… 
The phone had gone quiet. 
“…What was I saying?” I yawned. 
“I hope I can live up to your expectations.” Jasper’s voice was softer now. “I’ve got your location, Alice, I’ll be there soon.”
“I’ll be waiting,” I said, as the phone line went dead. Awkwardly jamming my phone back into my sling bag, I closed my eyes for just a moment. Jasper was coming to get me and I’d go home, and everything would be okay.
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blinkbones · 1 year
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i thought you all might want to see the very professional analysis i wrote in my copy of hamlet in a fit of drunken joy
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i hope you agree. because im right
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