#my favorite Floridian boy

[norrisleclercf1]

Something fluffy for our fellow American boy Logan. Like Logan Coming Home and immediately hugging and snuggling up to the reader. Our boy needs some loving after the year he’s had

A/N: My sweet little Floridian boy, as a fellow southerner I'm so happy he's driving next year

You tried to wait up for him, the flight home would be a long one and you wanted to be able to greet him.

Sadly, you didn't last long as you laid on the couch watching Criminal Minds. Yawning you look at the time, 2 am. Whining slightly, hating that Logan had to be coming home so late, but it was normal for him.

The last thing you see if Dr. Reid arresting someone.

--------------

Logan groans, rubbing his eyes as he pulls his car up to the house with a small sigh. The porch light was on, a smile tugging at his lips but the sleep was dragging down his reactions.

Climbing out of the car, Logan decides to leave his luggage in the car. That was the mornings problem. Right now he wanted to curl up in bed with you. Opening the front door, he cringes when it squeaks loudly and with a soft click he closes it.

Stopping he hear the TV, and smiles. You waited up for him. "Babe?" He calls, walking deeper into the house but stops seeing the sight before him. Here you laid curled up in one of his shirts, sprawled out on the couch.

"Babe," He laughs, his soft little snorting laugh as he slides his backpack off and tiptoes over. "Guess you couldn't help it, hm?" He whispers pushing some hair back and kissing your cheek.

Your nose crinkles and whine as you peel your eyes open. "Lo?" You grumble, clearing your throat from the sleep. "Shhh, don't get up." He whispers, pushing you back down as he slips out of his shoes.

"We can go to bed." You suggest, but he shakes his head no. "Nah, to tired to move farther." You nod and move back into the couch as he lays down facing you, tugging you into his chest.

Silence fills the space, but the soft sound of the TV keeps you awake just a little longer. "Hey," Logan hums, eyes still closed but listening. "You'll get that seat. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." Logan's throat tightens but he just nods his head.

"I know," He buries his head in your neck. "I love you," He whispers kissing his favorite spot. "I love you too, Logan."

[zorawitch]

I have too many thoughts so um as someone who is occasionally a casual enjoyer but not a swiftie and who literally never does this, have fun. btw theres a woman named Grace Powers on instagram who made a song out of the track titles and it’s better than the whole album.

so super critical album review from someone who listened to most of it if you want it

TRACK ONE: Fortnight

this song is like. Just boring enough that I don’t actually have the energy to dislike it.

TRACK TWO: The Tortured Poets Department

I mean. It’s about Matty Healy it was never going to be fantastic especially when its competition in that really specific subgenre of pop music is one of the three best songs Ashley ‘Halsey’ Frangipane has ever written.

TRACK THREE: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

it would be one of the worse songs on reputation so it’s one of the better songs here.

TRACK FOUR: Down Bad

I forgot about this song to be honest.

TRACK FIVE: So Long, London

I actually do really like this. It’s got imagery and a nice vibe to it. A good sad ballad.

TRACK SIX: But Daddy I Love Him

it is the first of this album’s many unhinged songs, and by far the most calm of their number. It’s okay. Reminiscent of her earlier stuff but with less heart.

TRACK SEVEN: Fresh Out the Slammer

okay so. I had automatic terrible assumptions about a BILLIONAIRE writing a song with this title but it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

TRACK EIGHT: Florida!!!

based on the vibes of this song, I am going to assume that Taylor Swift has never been to any area of Florida outside of Miami. i am not a Floridian, but I know that this is almost laughably stereotypical. I don’t take issue with that - as a Yankee I encourage it - but the Florence + the Machine feature on this song only serves to remind me how much better Florence is than Taylor, at least in terms of her voice. Putting her on backing vocals for the chorus just makes her drown out everything else. This song just made me want to go listen to Morning Elvis again. That said, it’s definitely not bad. I do still like it.

TRACK NINE: Guilty As Sin?

I know nothing of this song.

TRACK TEN: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

this song seems more intentionally unhinged than track six, and that makes it almost worse. If there was any conviction behind it, yeah, that would be a good song. However, I do not actually believe she has any plans to start biting people.

TRACK ELEVEN: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

it’s fine.

TRACK TWELVE: loml

it’s alright. Wish I remembered anything about it.

TRACK THIRTEEN: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

she’s railing against the golden cage she’s in, but who locked the door and then promptly had the bars reset so they were shiny, Taylor???

TRACK FOURTEEN: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

also pretty forgettable.

TRACK FIFTEEN: The Alchemy

simply the most forgettable.

TRACK SIXTEEN: Clara Bow

I don’t know why, but this song Got To Me. I audibly wailed at the end of this song. I have no clue what about this one motivates me, but it is just so good to me specifically. I said, “if the Clara Bow song is bad, im so done” and it wasn’t bad.

[mhaccunoval]

tagged by @jaybirdsdelight in this get to know me!!

do you make your bed?

i try to at least smooth out my blanket whenever i'm going to be up and out for a while... make it a Little neater despite the chaos that is my bed...

what's your favorite number?

8 and 46!!

what is your job?

i work on campus as a lab research assistant in our zooarchaeology lab :-)

if you could go back to school, would you?

i mean i'm still IN school right now because i'm nearing the end of my third year of college. but i want to go for my masters and a PhD after i graduate (<- too ambitious for his own good)

can you parallel park?

if i tried hard enough? i think i've only tried it once or twice so i'd probably have to be coaxed and have someone spot for me

a job you had that would surprise people?

this is my first job but by proxy is always surprises people when they found out i'm majoring in anthropology and somewhat that i work in our zooarch lab so

do you think aliens are real?

i'm alien agnostic... i don't believe in any of the ""proof"" people have already come up with but we live in a complex universe where it would be hard for there Not to be other life out there.... though i also enjoy aliens exist by blink-182 so ;P

can you drive a manual car?

not in the slightest... i'm willing to learn but. i don't currently know, no

what's your guilty pleasure?

i feel guilty liking most of the things i like. including learning about niche topics (<- said because he flexed radium girl knowledge in class earlier)

tattoos?

the sluttiest thing a man can do is have a thigh tattoo (i have a 10,000 days eye logo on the top of my thigh surrounding by 'little things' + tool lyrics in my mom's handwriting)

favorite color?

green and purple...

favorite type of music?

i always say rock (particularly alternative) but. i AM listening to beastie boys as i type this so. what's the truth

do you like puzzles?

photo puzzles are alright but i prefer cognitive puzzles. and i say that my lab work is a puzzle since it takes a lot of thinking and trial & error

any phobias?

roaches are a big one. for no fucking reason (that's a lie. i'm born and bred floridian so i've had one too many run-ins)

favorite childhood sport?

i didn't really do sports... all i did was taekwando... but i did enjoy horseback riding

do you talk to yourself?

frequently... mostly when i'm alone and thinking aloud / ridiculing myself. though i also mouth/mumble lyrics to myself a lot

what movie(s) do you adore?

THE PRINCESS BRIDE. pacific rim. PUSHING DEAD. JUNO. PSYCH 2: LASSIE COME HOME. i have too many....

coffee or tea?

i'm picky about both but i have to say coffee... i drink it more often and like it a little bit more than the teas i know i like

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

paleontologist 👍 i mean technically there was probably a thing or two before that but. i just think it's funny to mention six year old me coming out the gate with this one

[spiritually tagging my other mutuals!!!]

[myfriendtheghost]

hello. marty is very cute i love him. i am currently visiting home, so my mom and i took a disney trip! i am thinkin about drinking around the world with the boys and i know for a fact that i would do far better than them as a native floridian. they would be oh so cocky talking about out drinking you but i live by “those without a plan crash and burn early” and none of those boys would have a plan. the heat mixed with booze would take each of them out one by one, and unfortunately i believe our josh may be the first to be taken out. i think the heat would get to him first lol. the booze paired with cosmic rewind would absolutely screw up the rest of their mojo. they would need a break on the sky liner before they continue their journey.

ps. i hope you’re doing well!! and have a good week! :))) -🦦

HI BABY !! Marty says he loves u too !!

here’s a picture of him from a couple hours ago trying to shred his favorite bone lmao

ALSO YAY THAT’S SO MUCH FUN !!! I swear I can’t even handle the heat and I’m literally from the south but IT’S SO BAD DOWN THERE OMG. heat + alcohol + cosmic rewind sounds like a terrible combination I think I would die. I’m so excited to ride it again soon tho AH (I have one of those 90s wrestler tshirts with Rocket on it coming in the mail soon for my trip HAHAHA)

hope you’re doing well and have a great week too, my dear !!! <3

[thedisneychef]

Victoria and Albert's Mushroom and Roasted Garlic Soup Recipe

I’ve never tried anything from Victoria and Albert’s and boy, this recipe has me thinking I should save my pennies and give Walt Disney World’s ultimate luxury dining experience a try. Victoria and Albert’s is located at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and is one of the most acclaimed restaurants not only in Walt Disney World, but central Florida. More Delicious Recipes You Will Love: - Roasted Potatoes – Tusker House - School Bread – Kringla Bakeri Og Cafe - Scotch Eggs – Rose And Crown Pub And Dining Room It has the highest luxury fine dining reviews on TripAdvisor and Yelp, and it’s one of only three restaurants in all of Florida to have AAA’s 5-Diamond Award. During your two hour experience, you have not just one, but two servers who work with each person individually to craft your own personal menu that’s laid out over six courses. That is, unless you sit at the Chef’s Table… Then you get your own Executive Chef who comes out and consults on your 11 course meal over three or four hours. No big deal, right? This is one of the highest levels of fine dining out there. Men wear dinner jackets, women wear dresses or pantsuits… They also (somewhat controversially) have a policy to not seat children under the age of 10 due to the size of the dining room and acoustics which command a quieter dining party. I can’t think of any restaurant at Disney that has table side sommilers to help you find individual wine pairings per course. Very fancy pants, for sure. Since dining here is slightly out of my price range, I was really excited to try a recipe from here. Not only did I want to get a taste of what the high rollers get to experience, I wanted the chance to practice some different techniques and just see if I was up to the challenge of making something that’s fine dining-style, as opposed to homestyle. I was really fascinated by this recipe because it wasn’t what I expected, in the absolute best of ways. It ended up being a spectacular reminder that a few well-chosen, high quality ingredients prepared correctly can really knock your socks off. As this is a cheese soup, my mind went immediately to perhaps the most famous cheese soup on property, and I expected this to be really similar. However, it could not be more different. Where the Cheddar Cheese Soup at Le Cellier is thick, creamy, and hearty, this soup is light, clean, and very thin. The texture is more like your traditional broth soup and not a thick cream. Designed to be a light soup course meal, this is a great alternative to people who love the flavor of that other cheddar soup, but not the heaviness. Honestly, and I was told it was sacrilegious to say this, I feel like this soup is actually better than Le Cellier’s soup. While you could bulk it up with bacon for a taste that’s both light and elevated, but slightly more hearty, I really think this soup is best appreciated as-is. I think this recipe is a new favorite of mine and I wish I could do justice to describing the flavor. The sharpness from the beer is obvious, but it’s tamed by the snap of the cheese and the creaminess of the cream, making it a really bold and not overwhelming flavor. While I can only have a bowl of the Le Cellier soup before feeling full, I ate a whole bowl of this and felt warmed, satisfied, but not heavy. It’s so amazingly delicious and perfect as both a cold weather comfort, or a light introduction to a gorgeous, luxurious dinner. In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today? Read the full article

[papercutsunset]

7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family? and 12. Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most

7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?

No, I am not! It's an oddity around these Floridian parts. I was definitely the first to formally come out, at around thirteen (my mom didn't believe me), but I've never been the only one. Three of my six siblings are bisexual, my mom's queer (and very angrily out right now), and my cousin has run the entire gamut (asexual to lesbian to transmasc). That's to say nothing of my aunts, because whatever they're doing is extremely funky.

This is odd, because we're all like... Florida crackers. Unexpected, I'm aware. (They're all open about this, or I wouldn't say anything.)

12. Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most:

This is going to sound so funny.

So, Pansy Division, first of all. "Average Men" is one of those "on repeat at the airport" songs, "The Cocksucker Club" is great, and "That's So Gay" is a classic.

I was recommended Mattachine at a GSA meeting by a social work major, and I have to say-- great call on that one. I thought of them immediately, mostly because I was listening to "Boys Beware." "Love Song" is also a great one. Third recommendation would have to be: "Unlucky Channel." (Were all my recommendations pulls from Eject Modernity, Erase Tradition? Yes. I like that one.)

Go check out Sarah And The Safe Word if you like dark cabaret. They're great. I've been obsessed with them for a really long time. Strange Doings In The Night (yes, the entire album) was an awakening, and I was so excited when I found about the reissue. For go-to songs, I would say "Bottom of a Bender," "How Veronica Vanquished The Wolf" (an early favorite of mine), and "Audrey, Honey" (but, honestly, I think pretty much everything they do is great).

And here's the collection of random songs pulled from my library:

Fagetarian and Dyke by Team Dresch

They/Them/Theirs by Worriers (a classic, and another airport repeat song)

King For A Day by Green Day

Lesbian Vampyres From Outer Space by Scary Bitches (another classic)

I'm Gonna Be A Slut by Pansy Division

[the-iyan]

At the Peak

Hi there, this is a story. It's written by the author known as T. Belfry. Tumblr has completely fucked the formatting so mind the odd indentations and messy paragraph placement. For a full reading see my Instagram @Nimnat Hope you enjoy!

I never wanted to be a PI you see. Back in my youth I’d tell you I was born to be a spaceman. But dreams change over time and boom, before you know it, you're applying for your license at the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services Division of Licensing. I suppose it’s because I was a lonely kid. Didn't much care for the other boys you see, not that they cared much for me either. So, the idea of finding people for a living just scratched that itch at the back of my psyche. That and my brief stint as an anarchist where I stalked and spied on certain members of the Floridian legislative branch who shall for now remain unnamed. Made the job more than fulfilling.

I have a very specific style, see the other dicks have it all backwards. We as people go about our days in a nonchalant slow-motion tango. Twisting and spinning into each other's collective lives before disappearing into the fog of ambiguity once more. My fellow private eyes are out here standing in the middle of the dance floor. To me being in public places means to be a public figure. If everyone is focused on you nobody is worrying about who is focusing on them. I’m no spectacle of course, just more laxed and hedonistic. A frowned upon lifestyle which I can use to my advantage.

It’d be advantageous for anyone thinking of joining my profession to have an established set of ethics and conduct. But treat these ethical guides more as a budget than a limit. Pushing yourself to the very limits when necessary. I recommend sitting down and considering these 5 ethical conundrums to get started.

You have not eaten since the day before. Walking through an empty mall on your lunch break you notice in the fountain there is $6.97 in coins, the exact price of your favorite sandwich from the local deli including tax. You also know that money is collected and donated to an Ornithological Research Scholarship. Do you take the money? Why or why not?

During a normal day’s investigation, a bystander asks you for a light as you wait for the bus. They are wearing the garb and headwear of a local cult. Which you also know to be highly abusive and controlling towards its members. One of their beliefs being that smoking is highly corrosive to the soul. And doing so means three weeks of fasting where most perish. Do you deconvert this stranger before their bus arrives? Do you actively refuse your lighter? Do you light their cigarette? Why or why not?

Your subject goes into a public bathroom. After some time, you get up and follow them into the room. But when you walk through the door you see a massive expanse in front of you. The ceiling has vanished and been replaced with a light grey cloud, the humidity is choking. Around you is a world of tiled half walls and chrome circular drains. Showers are everywhere, some in the same stall as a toilet. After exploring for half the day, you find the stall they are using. Their phone just so happens to have fallen underneath the toilet without the subject's knowledge. Do you reach for their phone? Why or why not?

Two separate clients offer you the same amount of money. But you only have time in your calendar to do one. The first client needs you to tail her soon former business partner, ideally as they gamble with company money. This would be for a week in Vegas travel and room paid for. The second client wants proof his longtime girlfriend, former soon-fiancé, is cheating. This is a bus ride away at a local mall/movie theater. The entire job would take a day tops. How do you tell the second client “no” nicely?

The target you have been paid to follow contacts you through mail. They say they know you were hired and are willing to pay you to falsify your report. Inside the envelope is a check for three times the amount that your client gave you. What do you do?

Have you gotten your answers? Because I’ll need your full attention if I am to start this story and you seem a bit distracted. I don’t want you flipping pages back and forth to read these again, okay?

Now you understand my headspace when I’m at work. These issues and paradoxical ethical traps are littered all over my profession! It brings me no great pain but boy is it a pain in my neck. I’ll give you all an example.

It was Valentine's Day. My target was a 23-year-old man. Infidelity was the accusation, and it was my job to witness it. I was not planning to do this particular one, however. See any other year and I’d be in a park dressed in a wicker hat, Hawaiian shirt, and short shorts. But I was still relatively new, and the job had subsequently broken my previous relationship. The wound was still sore after a year, so the topic of romance was touchy at best. But after a mysterious letter in the mail whose contents shall remain private, I had found my schedule open for another job.

Given the choice, always choose public transportation over private. With a car you must be focused and aware of your driving. Splitting your attention between your target and your wheel. Whereas the bus allows you the freedom to be entirely oblivious to the world around you. A privilege I was not given the liberty to utilize.

“’Scuse me sir, have a light?” He was dressed head to toe like a giant rat. I was being accosted by an absurdly large rodent holding an unlit cigarette in my face. At first, I thought I was tripping something fears, but I soon regained agency.

“It’s out of fluid.” I was lying. I don’t carry lighters.

“That’s alright” he was vaguely French from the sound of it. I didn’t like one bit about him. I had to be cautious with what I said to him.

“Do you ever think about how little we actually know ourselves?” He pulled out a lighter and lit the end of his cigarette.

“I’m sorry are you talking to me?” I turned to engage mostly to understand how he planned to smoke that through a smiling mask the size of my torso.

“Yeah like, how much of who we are has no experiential tie to the individual.”

“I don’t know man. Just waiting for my bus so-”

“Just think, the version of you that people care about, and love has absolutely nothing to do with your own ego. It is total sublimation of who you are. Becoming a haze of personality rather out of the monument to personhood you’ve constructed from what you thought was stone.”

“Okay.” I was uncertain as to why this man felt so comfortable around me. But before I could ask him, he raised the cigarette to the mouth of the mask. He took an audibly deep drag, then smoke seeped through the two big teeth. Just then the bus came.

The route was just long enough for me to go over his schedule. The client found tickets reserving movie seats at 12:30pm Feb 14th inside the subjects' jeans. He claimed to be working on this day. So here was my thinking:

I get to Target at 11, buy a new outfit and trash the one I’ve been seen in. Spend time familiarizing myself with the space. The theater is behind the complex so short walking distance.

Grab lunch at 11:30.

Buy movie ticket by 12, choose a seat sufficiently far enough away as to not be seen, but still close enough to get on camera.

Hide in dumpster to watch incoming vehicles unnoticed at 12:15.

But before I got too carried away my mousey companion poofed back into my life.

“Where do you think we are anyway? And I don’t mean where physically but where are we in here?” leaning over my shoulder his furry hand poked the temple of his rat head.

“What the fuck man? Seriously I don’t care!”

“Suit yourself I guess.” He leaned back in his chair leaving me to my peace. Until two seconds later when I had to get off the bus.

The sky was beautiful. A neon blue with paper white clouds. I find that nice days are scant in Florida, so it’s important to soak them in when they do.

Short lived was my soaking, because it was 11:15 and I was still in the clothes I wore that morning.

I ran through the open doors, shoving the empty carts strewn about the entrance. The entire store was both extremely busy and completely empty. Dense pockets of people scattered between aisles. Enclaves of young adults within thick clouds of elderly. Like lilies on a river, they all flowed with a soft current. Moving from apparel, to snacks, to contraceptives, to drinks. What I didn’t know then was that they all were coming to see the same movie as I was.

Black satin shirt, with long billowy sleeves. Blue bell-bottom jeans with brown faux leather dress boots. I couldn’t find any hats, so aviator shades had to make do. This is building an identity. Part of mt process see, I have to be at least noticed. To be seen as a person that is more distinct, and vastly different. So, if I am seen again my face may seem familiar but my personhood and demeanor will be completely foreign. Plausible deniability is the key.

Now I refuse to operate on an empty stomach. So next was lunch. I am a fan of most fruit and recommend it as a stakeout snack. Not pears of course. Pears are the spawn of Satan. For this particular mission I was going to need watermelon spears. Like pickles but sweet and soft. To drink a 2-quart carton of premade Iced Mocha Coconut Latte, and a Piña colada juice blend courtesy of Koala Lemonade. One to hydrate and one to caffeinate. But when I reached for my bladder popping ingredient I was stopped by a decrepit green hand.

Loose skin draped on bone, its nails were black and long. The arm was hairy when chunks of meat weren’t missing from underneath. At moments it wiggled and writhed from underneath with maggots and roaches. It had this horrific scent of mold and rot.

“Excuse me sonny, just didn’t see you there.” Following the arm, I was face to face with an 8-foot-tall green head. He looked like the child of Green Arrow and Guy Fawkes. His hair was almost blackish green. His pupils were black and teeth, the few he had left, matched.

“You all right bud?” I couldn’t speak. He gave me a weird look then walked away.

At 11:45 I was sitting in the men's room of the mall next to the Target; eating my watermelon and siping my drinks from the bag. The air was sour and lemony, poorly hiding crimes against the nose too horrific to fathom. The walls were a dark carpet collage of colors like the floors of old movie theaters. Lavender trim made the whole experience unenjoyable. I would go so far as to say it was the single reason for my anxiety inside that room. Let’s examine the facts I did and maybe you’ll understand.

Walls are not carpeted. It is a waste of material and quite frankly never looks good. So why of all places are they experimenting with interior design as a form of expression (in which the artist has chosen to experiment with the form of expression itself) in a bathroom?

Furthermore, the entire purpose of a bathroom is paradoxical as is! An often-public place in which you have an absolute expectation of privacy. Decorating any space like that is walking a thin line between sanitized cleanliness and warm hospitality. Did the designers of this particular bathroom simply go insane?

Which may explain the choice of carpeting as well. It was dark and murky, with greens and blues speckled between patches of purple. Such a design would camouflage stains and streaks making them harder to clean. The fabric was dense and soft, allowing it to absorb smells like a blackhole.

“That’s it!” my voice bounced from the hard checkered tile and landed in the soft carpeted wall behind Victor in the stall in front of me.

“I’m sorry?” Victor sounds like a mix between Lonny Price and Patton Oswalt.

“What’s your name stranger?” I had slipped my hand under the stall at this point, shaking it, waiting for his hand to do the same.

“I’m Victor? Can I help you?” He didn’t shake my hand, and in fact slapped it back down.

“Well Victor not really. But I think I solved the bathroom.” Victor must have been really engrossed in his task up there because my hands were able to tie his fancy leather shoes together.

“The bathroom?”

“Exactly Vic! The designers must have snapped when they built this place. It’s the only explanation.”

“What designers?”

“No no no my dear Vicar. See that was my first thought so good instinct. But if you think only of the known facts of the case and you come to a-” I had been slowly shimming up the side of his stall this entire conversation. I dropped in.

“-Stunning conclusion.” Victor yelped like a dog and fumbled to shove bags of weed inside his pockets. He had navy knee high pants and a pink polo shirt.

“Don’t tell my dad!” he dropped a wooden board and joints scattered all around our feet.

“Is that weed?” I held out my hand and he kindly put one of his little bags in my hand. I pocketed it then put my arm around him

“Yes.”

“I’m not mad about your weed Vice, but this bathroom was not a mistake. These were the very decisions that broke them. Consider the walls. What better way to subvert your artistic and functional purpose than spit in the face of the form itself? Even the floor itself is speaking to us!” I shoved Victor’s face on the floor with my own. This gave me good emphasis for my point, while allowing me to reach the joints that rolled under the stall.

“It is?” he yelped again.

“It is both part of and explaining the artist's message. At first look the tile is inherently juxtaposed with its counterpart. However, the two have switched conventional roles. As now the walls are carpeted. Yet! The very existence of this contrast is criticized in the tile itself. The black and white motif may seem to be a story of conflict, but with a deeper appreciation for the choice of medium as a mode of expression, then you see it is one of harmony. The black and the white are in fact equals. As both are needed for the checkered pattern itself”

“Who the fuck are you man!?” I had made him visibly uncomfortable by now.

“I’m a cop man” I was lying. Even as a PI, ACAB.

“Shit!” Victor was one of the cuter, but not one of the smarter men I have encountered in the bathroom.

“I’ll need an ID VD.” I opened the stall door because I was starting to feel cramped. Plus, I wanted to give the guy his space.

“I got one in my wallet hold up” he reached for his wallet and pulled out a driver license. Clearly not a PI. I took a picture of it with my phone.

“Date of birth?” I was just fucking with him at this point.

“November 7th?”

“Was that a question?”

“No.”

“What year?”

“1997.”

“Hmm. Well, this all seems to be in order. Well Victor I’m not mad about the weed. I’ll let it slide this once, but for fucks sake man you’re 25. Find a private place to do that.”

“Hey can I have my license back?” he was slowly catching on so I had to make my escape while it was still sociably acceptable to do so.

“I will be keeping that.” I started to slowly walk backwards towards the door.

“You can’t do that?” He attempted to walk after me but stumbled because someone had tied his shoes together earlier. “Wait what’s your badge number!?”

“You’re not too bright, love ya buddy see you around!” I made  haste through the mall because it was already going to be 12:10 when I get the tickets.

The line wrapped itself around the building, wringing out half-drunk movie goers every hour or so. Two hit movies were released that day. The Rōbŏbitch Diary, and Down the Gullet. The first, a historical romance about the extremely raunchy lives of Aristocrats at the turn of the century. The second an aggressive delve into the explicit and experimental sex lives of two college best friends. Both had graphic and unsimulated sex scenes for different reasons. Both were not technically porn for very different reasons. Both pulled surprisingly different demographics.

               Those who came to see Down the Gullet can be best described as a comfortable crowd of sex positive hipsters and post ironic critics. There were frantic discussions of about the ramifications of seeing sex commodity, genuine praise for the film as a meta commentary of its form. Debates on whether the plot was supposed to contain a meta narrative criticizing the current state of for-profit learning.

               The Rōbŏbitch packs were displays of debauchery, filth, and a blatant disregard for public decency. People had tightened and cut their clothes as close as possible, I witnessed swirls of elderly all kissing and groping one another. Hair was dyed and plucked; underwear was pulled over the pants. Sometimes, going so far as to show diaper. The entire scene was unsettling to say the least.

In all fairness. You had your rogue sexual addict with a DtG shirt or a cinema loving Rōbŏbitch intellectual. These were the exceptions that proved the rule.

I was beyond late. Even if I had gotten to the theater when I attended, I’d be maybe 2 people away from the ass of the line. It was Sisyphean waiting in that line, so I plopped myself on one of the benches out front to think. I was given dirty looks from the line every time I took a swig from my carton of coffee. That was good, it means they were focusing on what I was doing and not who I was.

“I don’t think it was such a big deal honestly.” a shadow ate the sun. The coffee spilled out of my mouth when the body of an elderly woman eight miles tall descend. Her sheer black clothes were covered in a thick black cardigan and cut with a leopard print scarf the size of a highway. When she landed, the bench wailed like Giles Corey. A 60ft wave flowed through her winkled tanned skin.

“I was asked to leave 13 minutes in Ruth! All I said to her was I thought she was doing very well at her job, and you just don’t see that from people her- Hold on I’ve got to put you on hold.” I was making my way up her arm, climbing black crochet like a pirate aboard a ship’s sail.

“Can I help you young man?” She was very unhappy, but thankfully offered me her hand to stand on.

“Sorry mam, I’m supposed to be seeing my girl, but she left me for this guitarist. I don’t want to lose her, but the friendship is really eating away at my-”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Oh, could you spare a pen? I need to sign my note to her.” This was a lie.

“I’ll see.” She had no intention of actually giving me a pen.

She dropped me and her wallet on the bench when she started to pretend to look through her purse for a pen. I got to work. Her wallet had a snap fastener the size of a beach ball made of what I can only guess was inch thick tungsten steel. After multiple full body presses, and three mysterious bone cracks, I got the sucker open. The ticket read

THEATER

2

Admit 1 Adult:

The Rōbŏbitch Diary

A7

I couldn’t get the clasp to close before she finished humoring my pen request.

“Don’t have any.” she snatched her wallet from next to me, her ticket fluttered to the ground below. She checked her cash, which I could use as a bed sheet, counted then scoffed. So, I didn’t tell her.

Phase two of my new plan relied on the kindness of youth. I needed a way to get at least somewhat close to the front without pissing too many people off. Bribery would have to be the way.

“Sorry to interrupt but I seem to have forgotten my ticket.” I tapped Rio’s shoulder of a young-looking person three people from the ticket booth.

“Hey man I’m sorry to hear that but we were in the middle of a conversation here.” They were understandably annoyed with me.

“Pardon my abruptness, uh what’s your name?” I shook their hand. Looking in their eye I attempted to form a friendly connection with them. I did not notice their severe lack of left eye until then and they could see the shock in my face.

“Yeah, usually I have an eyepatch, but I didn’t want to deal with people like you calling me a pirate.” already off on a bad foot.

I wanted to point out that they were wearing a kilt and light pink crop top and that the eye patch would weirdly make them look less pirate like.  Or acknowledge how they resembled the child of Audrey Hepburn and Bob Dylan, and that if anything the absence of an eye does them a favor because it made them both beautiful and unique. Maybe even coming back around to explain my shock was simply that I was not expecting someone to be missing an eye and not because I found the sight necessarily shocking. But retrospect allows freedom of thought not action.

“Look I’ll give you each a pre-rolled joint in return for just letting me stand in front of you.”

“Fuck off man.” They turned to their friend who looked nervous at the sight of the rolls.

“Rio, we are running low?” their friend pointed to an almost dry vape pen.

“Fine.” Rio took the joints and let me in front.

Phase three was not entirely thought out, things were getting close because I had 10 minutes before the film was about to start and I hadn’t even gotten in the theater.

“Welcome to Globoflicks, my name is Franklin. Down the Gullet Is currently sold out for the evening how else may I help you?” Franklin was a sad man. His eyes were too weak to pull themselves out of their eyelids. His tongue and mouth barely slung out what mumbled words he spoke.

“High ya Franky, I have a slight snafu. I was wondering if, maybe someone, you for instance, can help me?” He needed a show, and I was willing to give him one.

“What can I help you with?”

“Well, I was actually already in there maybe eight minutes ago and I came out for a smoke,” I pointed to Rio and their acquaintance. “and I already threw away my ticket so if you could just let me back in that’d be great.”

“Ticket must be shown at the door, next.” he tried to wave Rio forward but I blocked his path.

“I can prove it! Here I can tell you the exact theater and seat I was at. Even where it was in relation to the screen!” I don’t know if it was the years of minimum wage or my optimistic pursuit that broke him but his eyes suddenly jolted alive and rolled themselves awake.

“Fine what movie are you seeing?” he started typing something in his little computer.

“The Rōbŏbitch Diary for 12.”

“Can I see an ID?”

“You already checked it the first time!?” this was a lie. But if I feigned frustration, it would be more realistic. Minimum wage workers expect shitty behavior. While unfortunate it does come with advantages.

“Listen sir I have highschoolers with fake ID’s and dressing like old folks to get in either of these movies. So, if I’m helping you out, I’m seeing an ID.” I flashed him Victors ID covering the picture with my thumb.

“I’m sorry Mr. Gwin but I have a Margaret V. purchasing that seat.” his little smile filled with nostalgia for my anarcho-communist days.

“I know that’s her over there,” I sheepishly pointed to the bench woman Margaret. Who was at the time yelling over the phone about not receiving a refund for not saving her ticket. Due to her immense stature and strength the entire building shuttered at her words.

“We have a sugar momma, sugar baby thing going on here. And if you could let me watch the rest of the movie while all of, that, blows over you’d be doing me a real solid.”

Franklin let me in the theater. I had to leave Victor’s ID behind as collateral though. If I didn’t come back to pay for my ticket, we agreed he could call the police and send them to the address. I know what you’re thinking and no, don’t worry. I have not gone back to that theater for various reasons.

I wish I could say it was smooth sailing from there. I had to convince the person whose reserved seat I was sitting in, that I was with the DEA tracking a weed supplier (this was before its legalization mind you). And that I was spying on Rio and their friend who just so happened to be three aisles away from me stoned off their asses. But then the target walked in.

She was smiling when I saw her. Must have just finished laughing actually. Holding on to his arm as if it was the only thing keeping her from blowing away. Her hair was brown and fuzzy, like she had fallen from great heights. The theater was darker now, but I could tell, she was wearing her favorite light pink blouse and jean bell-bottoms. As if someone ripped her right out of the 70’s. A strange cruel coincidence because she wore the same thing when my heart was broken a year ago.

I took what pictures I could to prove I had done my job. But I threw in the towel after an hour of kissing broken up intermediately by mall exploration and occasional double entendre.

I was waiting for the bus by 4pm sharp. I wasn’t quite sure why. I told myself I had enough money now to buy myself a car and just give up this entire process. At the time I was still able to seek formal training as a criminal investigator. Thinking of my possible slip into the dark world of police work I pulled out a joint. I bit the end and started patting myself for a lighter.

“’Scuse me sir, have a light?” He was dressed head to toe like a giant rat. I was being greeted by an absurdly large rodent holding a lighter. At first, I thought I was tripping something fears, but I soon regained agency.

“Still out of fluid.” I shrugged; I was lying. I don’t carry lighters.

“That’s alright” he was vaguely French from the sound of it. I didn’t understand a thing about him. He lit the end for me, and we sat quietly for the bus. I didn’t feel alone.

[independentartistbuzz]

Indie 5-0 with D Truth The Professional from Displace: Holiday Edition

The Tampa, Florida-based band Displace is a saxophone and electric violin-driven funk fusion ensemble known for their energetic performances, improvisational prowess, and wildly diverse sonic palette. The Floridian four-piece effectively utilizes their extensive training in a variety of musical backgrounds to produce a truly eclectic blend of infectious pop melodies, complex jazz progressions, and danceable funk grooves.

Their bassist, D Truth the Professional is the Chicago-born hip-hop music artist/producer who uses his wide variety of influences to create unique, true-to-self music. With experience playing music in jazz, funk, gospel and rock bands, singing in concert choirs, and freestyle rapping with friends around the Chicagoland area, D Truth delivers sincere, diverse music.

We got to speak with D Truth the Professional about his favorite holiday traditions, favorite holiday music, and upcoming projects.

So, let’s dive in:

What is your favorite holiday song and why?

Christmas Time Is Here, Instrumental Version Many Christmases as a young boy, I would go to my granny's house and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas on VHS. Such a short and sweet movie, really made me think about the reason for the season as a child. As an adult, Christmas does not hit the same; this song always brings me back to the time when I did get presents, when we did decorate the house, when it snowed in Chicago (I don't see much snow these days when I go back in visit). The vocal version is kinda meh because that children's choir is very, very out of tune; I still love that version though. But I'll take just the instrumental trio over it for sure.

What were the traditions around the holidays in your house growing up?

Eh, none really other than Christmas dinner where my Granny Doris would make mac and cheese that I devoured without fail.

If you could record your dream holiday duet with anyone dead or alive what would it be?

I would love to duet Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer with DMX. One of the best version of that song; I think it would be next level with some D Truth magic behind it. RIP DMX. What is the first holiday track you ever learned?

Pretty sure “Joy To The World” was in my intro piano book as a wee youngin. Alfred's Adult Piano, Book One, Lesson One. Learned it in 1st grade.

What are you currently working on? What can you tell us about it?

Our upcoming 4th album, Necessity, got a grunge inspired band I'm recording with, no name on it yet. And a Silk Sonic tribute band.

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

Mannnn tell me how I woke up and I’m STILL mad at them. Then they posted that cornball ass annoying 💚D–6💚 shit and I wanted to comment “😒” on it SO bad but I decided I’m in a cold shoulder mood more than I’m in a snarky mood, so they got no engagement whatsoever. I ain’t even click on the tweet and open the app, I could see it from the notification tab so I slid left and finished my breakfast. How about I took a nap and when I woke up 4 hours later to get my bunny his morning salad, I was STILL mad. Stirring my coffee. Thinking of how audacious it is to be wealthy in NYC talm bout some damn “I’m bored” boy if you catch the ferry to the island and go see Lady Liberty or some shit!? All the places they see in movies & he ain’t wanna go look at the shit irl or something?? And then Mr. “I missed Korean food as soon as the plane took off” nigga if you don’t walk over to Woori Jib! I ate there during a few of my trips to NY. If MY Floridian ass knows it exists, your manager should have been able to stumble across that information without trying. Yes you’re allowed to miss home but you just got off the plane!! Not too mad at Jeff cus he hardly talks to anyone or posts anyway. He is a man who for the most part is an Equal Opportunity Non-communicator. I’m salty at mark cus of his “finally” shit but at least while they were here he put some enthusiasm in his tweets and did so IN ENGLISH *first*, since ya know, he was supposed to be talking to US anglophones (glares at Ty and Doyoung). I heard there’s a TikTok going around of him saying how he’s happy to see all the diversity in the crowds or something to that effect. I’ll probably be un-mad at him first, unless there is an apology (which we know won’t happen) from Ty or anyone in the group. SM apparently only responds to boycotts, so i feel like justified in more ways than one for thinking that the next album’s songs can stay in Korea and in Korean charts & shows too, since they wanna gatekeep new performances for only precious kfans 🤡 Saw a post last night that stan twt cooking up a plan to make sure next release, probably a repackage, doesn’t come anywhere near the Billboard charts and ykw? GOOD.

[[MORE]]

Your treat for us was to perform the 2 songs you literally have just finished promoting in SK within 3 days of arriving to LA & that’s…it? & music from 2 releases ago or more which means most of the setlist was more than 2 years old. Yeah everyone wanted Sticker and Favorite but that was over a year ago lol. Collabs have happened since then & recent NEW solos. Not even a mini or EP but a whole ass album that we helped shoot sales through the roof, came out, like!!?

We let a wholeeeee lotta shit slide over the years but I’m seriously over it dude. SM half-assed this “tour” with poorly planned show appearances, badly organized fan event, sketchy staff…Wtf is this “new music only for Korea concert” shit?! SM fr needs to work on their marketing tactics cus this “Kfans first, kfans only” style plan, this “do whatever it takes to stay in not only the good graces of, but rather, the best graces of Korean fans (when ifans have carried them since mf 00:01 of Firetruck and we all know it. Also, we have long confirmed music sales aren’t the bulk of musicians income, it’s TOURING) who absolutely are gonna drop like a bug near a can of Raid when someone goes public with a relationship, is NOT the move.

It’s like they got too comfortable just like a guy does in a relationship. If we wanted to be ignored we can go stan a kpop group with NO foreigners & a company who can’t afford staff to ensure immediate subtitles and regular comebacks, etc. Or even someone from a midsize company who aspires to have a global audience whether they have foreigners in the group or not & is willing to put in more than the bare minimum. Like wtf is SM doing, why are they self-sabotaging when *globalalization* is supposed to be the point of 127 to begin with??

Idc what any group says, BTS’ fame is what they want. Why the hell wouldn’t it be? There’s no shame in admitting, there’s no shame in wanting to be a household name around the world lol. if you want to be at the top fr then you need to stay humble & respect all your fans, cus as someone who helped make it happen, I most certainly did not bust my ass and go that hard for them while feeling disrespected, like??Bighit (it’s past tense so I’m calling them BH) could’ve done better because there were times when they just let us do all the work without promoting the boys well but the boys themselves made it feel worth it because they were happy and thankful to be surpassing levels, that when they became trainees didn’t even register as doable. BH could’ve done better on merch for us too instead of only giving the good shit to JPN army, but that’s a separate issue & again, wasn’t BTS’ choice. Even with Namjoon’s minor goof (I think ppl who aren’t Black &/or debut stans know about it. & I sincerely think at the time that when it came out of his mouth he didn’t understand why it’s problematic…and also I mean. He wasn’t wrong…) and major goof (you know the one) and the WOH incident, he earned forgiveness because he seemed to work with sincerity. AHL definitely helped and to this day no one has done that extent of hiphop boot camp (yes, I am saying that Svt’s lil trip doesn’t compare, you interpreted that correctly).

Do I think there’s a magic formula to get a “““next BTS”””? Hell nah lol That there was a perfect storm (Bigbang had laid the framework, BAP fell off (a big fuck u to their record label btw. We don’t speak the name of that dirtbag but they were doing REALLY good intl especially over here), BlockB messing up w/ the SE fans + Zico fucking up (over… & over… again) + not playing their cards right at ALL, the consistency of their sound rather than it being a 1 era dress-up party, sns (on a shared account mind you! They didn’t have personals!) & talking to all of us not just kfans, AHL, making connections w/ Black artists & maintaining them, having a solid anglophone, helping make their own music frequently, doing their endorsements all or nothing without having 1 known member– I could go on. Point is, the exact formula isn’t possible but it’s not completely unobtainable to be in the ballpark. Neos could be in the ballpark even w/o compromising their 127-ess & sound if they worked at balancing their fandom ((+ not acting like Europe (and Africa, but idt kpop will hit that for a min)) doesn’t exist). The pandemic didn’t help them but they didn’t try to make up for not being able to travel to non-Korean fans.

Ffs kpop is becoming almost trendy instead of just a niche! And the top group is on an official hiatus! & no one has enlisted yet! There’s a void- STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT YOU FOOLS!! It’s not even just SM to blame, they have their own personal accts in various sites, they let the staff have the power by not pushing harder for using the English speakers they have more & obeying when they get told to only speak in Korean. What’s SM gonna do, yank them from the lineup?? If you have fans either as a group or akgaes & they are so flaky that you communicating in multiple languages makes them angry enough to not buy albums like I Superhuman era & leave, let them go!! You’ll get more fans just out of appreciation for the fact that you did the right thing instead of caving in to spoiled nonsensical brattiness. I am so incredibly annoyed by them having no backbones bro. Get a spine or always stay at the mercy of unreasonable ppl willing to drop you for being a fair person and a good idol.

[youreyeslookliketheocean]

youreyeslookliketheocean’s DSMP Fic Recs!!

Figured it was about time for one of these... :)

Mostly SBI-centric because they’re my favorite dynamic. I’ll probably add to this list as time goes on, and I also want to go back through my ao3 history and find some lesser-known fics I really enjoyed to rec them all. But for now...

* oneshot  ** unfinished work

** the lights go out (my heart goes still) by curseworm

With his old home unwelcoming and his new one gone, Tommy is alone. After hours of staggering through the freezing snow, he finds a cabin.

Technoblade’s cabin.

He hides himself away in the deepest corner he can find, taking only what he needs to survive, wasting away in the cold and the dark. He’s petrified at the thought of being found out, terrified of what he thinks Techno would do to him.

When Techno finds his injured teenage brother huddled in a filthy little cave beneath his basement, the rage he feels is immeasurable. The voices demand blood, and blood he will give them. Dream won’t be getting away with this one.

(On the other side of the world, in a country that floats on a man-made lake, Philza gets himself in a bit of a pickle.) 

** The hearth down under by Crystalquill

A tiny change gives Tommy the courage to flee to the Nether instead of the cold tundra, finding an unlikely ally in the midst of a fiery hellscape.

But tiny changes can alter the course of history. The SMP will never be the same.

(Lots of cool Nether worldbuilding in this one!!)

to be a wanderer, wandering by hydrangeasheart

Tommy's feet drag in the snow.

It's so, so cold. He's so cold. His toes are freezing. His exposed shins feel like they’ve been cut open-- even the one that’s bandaged. His wings have gone numb, which is almost, almost good, because now he can’t feel the shifting, broken bones inside of the left one, just under feathers and muscle.

He doesn’t know why he’s still walking.

-

Or, Tommy leaves the exploded ruins of Logstedshire behind, and walks until he finds somewhere safe.

And things keep going from there.

(A canon-divergent AU, splitting off somewhere around when Tommy started hiding out below Techno's house.)

that’s, like, a hundred miles by No_one_you_know (and then “as long as i’m here”, and “he’s my brother, i just raise him”)

Dream would kill him. Dream was going to kill him- he was going to- no, he wouldn’t. Dream was his friend- friends don’t hit each other- Dream was supposed to take care of him- Dream /was/ taking care of him.

It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. He couldn’t clear his thoughts as he stumbled to the family computer, pulling up a tab on google and frantically typing the name into the search bar.

The words Technoblade Watson stared back at him, the little black bar at the end of the letters blinking slowly, mocking him.

Why, of all people, did it have to be Technoblade?

in short: the one where dream sucks as a parental figure, tommy runs away, and visits his least favorite family member technoblade.

passerine by thcscus(blujamas)

Do I really need to put the summary here? Pretty much everyone knows this fic. Also, though, if you enjoy this one you should totally read thcscus’ connected fic, “shrike”!! It’s only at 2 chapters right now but it’s already really good and has this dark, foresty aesthetic I love...

not with a bang but with a whimper by dip_dyed_ghost

He knows Tubbo doesn’t care about him anymore. He knows that. He’s been shown that. But it doesn’t stop Tommy from caring about him. He brushes the pads of his fingers over the compass’s glass and wonders how he’s doing, if he’s tired of it all yet, if he needs help. He watches the way it points strongly in the direction over the ocean. He hopes he’s alright.

Even after everything, he hopes he’s alright.

During his exile, Tommy finds a drugged and hurt Tubbo on his doorstep. He can’t not help him.  

(This one has a neat take on potions, in my opinion. Also it’s only 4 chapters so it’s a quick read!)

take this compass, follow it home by lightning_anon

Tommy's a fuck up, he can't pay attention, and never sits still. He taps his hands, pushes people away, and has never had a best friend. He's a screwed up, forgotten kid lost in the foster system. He's also just been placed with a new family. Tommy knows how this goes, he never ends up staying long. After all, no one wants a fuck up like him.

Why would this house be any different?

Or: the obligatory sleepy bois foster fic, but with a focus on the neurodivergent kids that inevitably get lost in the system.

(Genuinely want to see more books like this in original fiction. It’s part of what inspired my newest og wip, “To Build a Home.” So sweet and I feel like I had my eyes opened to some neurodivergent tendencies I never knew existed. I read this in a day and can’t rec it enough.)

bloodlines by youreyeslookliketheocean

Tommy’s an orphan on the run from his previous guardian. Philza’s a king who prides himself on keeping his kingdom in an era of peace. Wilbur’s the crown prince, and Techno’s right beside him as his adopted brother. When Phil’s kingdom of Pogtopia is threatened by the bloodvines—a strange, brainwashing plant infecting many of the surrounding kingdoms—the four must work together to keep the kingdom, and their family, safe. --- A royal au sbi fic... + the bloodvines, for spice.

(Yes I’m self-promoting. But, in my defense, I’m very proud of it. If you checked it out it would mean the world to me :’))

Heat Waves by tbhyourelame

Dream has always held a gentle admiration for George, but when their nuanced friendship trickles into his sleeping mind, he awakens to a new world of conflicting emotions and longing. Lost in the midst of a heat wave, he continuously listens to a song that works itself in to the very core of his heartache. Floridian nights, unsent messages, spiraling infatuation, and terrible, terrible weather.

Another fic I think pretty much everyone knows about. Listen, listen... I was once an idiot who said “Oh no, I’ll never read Heat Waves. It’s irl, not characters, and it’s probably cringe”... No. I was so wrong. This fic is wonderfully written, with a pretty quick moving plot and great characterizations. You do need an ao3 account to access it, though. Just to let you know. (Also read “Helium”, unfinished and hasn’t updated in awhile, but it’s the continuation). 

Guitar Strings and Keyrings are What it Takes to Build a Home by Anonymous

Techno was adopted by Phil when he was 12 years old.

He'd been enjoying his morning before Phil came to him asking if he would mind them taking in another kid. Against his better judgement, Techno agrees and ends up with two new foster brothers who he was determined to not get attached to, no matter what.

Tommyinnit’s unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death by eneliii

“I uh,” Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. “I think your powers are broken? It’s not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don’t feel insecure. Everyone’s power stop working sometimes… I think.”

Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen?

“Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes,” Tommy hisses, “Well um,” He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, “This was like super fun, but I’m - I’mma head out.”

or,

in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.

or or,

a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.

(Feel like I am obligated to say how incredibly funny this fic is. Seriously. I have a distinct memory of sitting on my neighborhood park’s swing, giggling hysterically, while reading this. Well...until the end... but we won’t get into that...)

** bones in the ocean by bunflower

“Your reputation precedes you, y’know.”

“Does it, now?” Philza watches him coyly from where he’s now leaning against the wall, arms folded around his chains and gaze half-lidded, his lips curled in an arrogant, cat-like smirk.

“The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?”

OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.

(Is this fic considered popular like passerine/Heat Waves now? Cause I feel like it’s reputation precedes itself, at this point... Pirate au.)

****

Okay! That’s it for now. Like I said, though, I want to add to this over time and also dig back for some older things I’ve read. Also, if you have any recs feel free to send them in! I’m about to go back to school and therefore might not have time for reading fun stuff, but whenever I get the chance I’d love to check them out!!!

Happy Reading!!

[ask-the-official-gangreen-gang]

What’s everyone’s favorite animal?

-The camera turns on, showing the gang, minus Grubber, not in their usual shack...but in front of the zoo?-

"Heeey, peoples! We're back after we had to take a couple days to prepare this ask. We always take extra time for asks involvin' our favorite stuff cause we want youse guys to get the whole scoop. We don't wanna half-ass it. So this ask asked our favorite animals, we decided we may as well do this at the zoo! Where we can personally show youse guys! Heheheh. We uh, just needed to work out some details and get-"

"Gangreen Gang, you guys coming?"

-The camera pans to the entrance, showing none other than the Powerpuff Girls. Blossom is waiting, tapping her foot, Bubbles is bouncing where she stands, and Buttercup looks chill.-

"OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!! WE'RE AT THE ZOO WITH ALL THE CUTE CUDDLY ANIMALS!!! I wanna see the monkeys, the kangaroos, the-"

"Pipe down, Bubbles! This is for the Gangreen Gang's blog, not a field trip."

"Yeah, and we're here cause Buttercup convinced us to let them do this here. WITH supervision, of course."

"Aww okay. At least we still get to see fluffy animals!"

"Yeah, that's right. Now let's go. Grubber, ready? Come on boys!"

-the camera pans back to Ace, leading the way as they all enter inside, walking until they stop in front of the reptil house. Bubbles instantly looks scared, but Buttercup and Blossom pull her inside after the gang. They head over to a large, glassed in area in the center, full of aligators and crocodiles, with a large gator in the front.-

"Welcome to the reptile house! All kinds of scaley critters in here. First up is my favorite! Behold! The floridian aligator! These are the bad boys that get real big! Heheheh! Just look at 'im, so powerful, fearless, confident!"

"Cool!! And gators kick serious animal butt, too! Those jaws can even chomp through bones!"

"Heck yeah they can! Gators are the coolest!"

-Ace and Buttercup high-five each other, then Ace whistles, motioning Snake up.-

"Oh, issssss it my turn next? Alright, my favorite issss....thissssss way!"

-Snake takes the lead, walking deeper into the reptile house, hissing soon heard around. Snake stops infront of a large glass window in the wall, reading the sign.-

"Ah, here it issssss!"

-He steps aside, showing a raised up snake infront of the window, large in size, with brownish green skin, with dark oval spots on it's spine.-

"Thisssss isssss a green anaconda! Anacondasssss are one of the largesssssst sssssnakesssss. People think it'sssss venomousssss but it'sssss actually not. In the wild they only live up to 10 yearsssss, but in captivity it'ssssss actually 3 timesssss that. SssSssSss."

"Okay, let's see...Big Billy! You're next!"

"YAY!!! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!! BIG BILLY SEE PANDAS!!!!"

"Big Billy, wait!!!"

-Big Billy runs off, and the gang and the girls give chase, running out of the reptile house, through the zoo, until they found Big Billy trying to hug a glass barrier, with a giant panda on the other side.-

"PANDA!!!! BIG BILLY LOVE PANDAS!!! THEY'RE BIG, SOFT, AND FLUFFY LIKE BIG BILLY!!! Giant pandas eat 26 to 84 pounds of bamboo everyday, but they can also eat meat!"

"Awwwww hello little one!! You're so cute and fluffy, I just wanna hug you forever and ever!!!"

"Better grab them and move on, or we'll never get to the rest."

"No kiddin'. Come on Billy, it's Arturo's turn next, say good bye to the pandas."

-Ace grabs Billy and drags him onward as Arturo takes the lead, while Buttercup drags Bubbles. They keep going into the arctic area, as Arturo stops infront of a glassed in pool, with dozens of penguins about swimming. Ace lets go of Billy and picks him up, holding him up to the wall's edge, where a small penguin with long, bushy yellow brow feathers is swimming.-

"Thanks, Ace. This is a rockhopper penguin, my favorite animal! They're small like me, but brave and tough! And they look super cool! They're the most numerous species of penguin! And the most aggres-OW!!"

-Arturo is cut off as the penguin jumps up and bites him. Blossom gasps and flies over, grabbing it and pulling it off, throwing it back in the water.-

"O-kay, movin' on! Snake, take the camera. Yer turn, Grubber!"

-Grubber appears and takes the lead, leading everyone on through the zoo, going into a familiar primate area, stopping in front of gorillas. One is sitting by the caged wall.

"....Monkeys?

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"AAAAAAAHHHH MONKEYS!!!!"

"PLBTT PLBT PLBT PLLBBTT. PLBBT PLBBT PLBBT PLBTT PLBBT PLBBT PLLLBBT PLLLBBBT PLLBT PLLBT! PLBT PLLBBTPLLBBT PLLLBT PLLBT PLLBT."

-Ace holds up translation cards: This is the gorilla. They are my favorite because they have an IQ between 75 and 90! They're also strong, and sophisticated. A gorilla can learn 2000 human words.-

"No wonder Mojo's brain is so big! Heheheh! Kiddin', kiddin'. Well, that's it for this ask! Hope youse all enjoyrd it! And thanks to the Powerpuff Goils for bein' our special guests and lettin' us do this special for youse guys! See yabin the next ask!"

-Everyone waves, then Snake pops up, waving, shutting off the camera-

[theyscreamjade]

Okay but hear me out! Bakugo, Shinsou, Hawks, and Dabi with an s/o from the south (Like Texas or Atlanta) and she’s as thick as her accent. She calls em “Baby, Honey, Sugar, Sweetie”: Whatever she calls em, that accent is the cherry on top. Sis got the meals down pat (yes, she will make fried chicken for Bird boy with Mac n cheese and collard greens). Don’t get me started on how she don’t take shit from no one but she’s the sweetest thang they’ve met! 😩

Southern Bell

HONEY! YOU AINT SAY NOTHING BUT. A. WORD! As a Floridian and a BLACK one add that, Imma add some spice to this. I hope you like it.

————————————————————————————————————————

Keigo Takami

* Imma be honest with you. IF HE DOESNT MARRY A SOUTHERN WOMAN. I swear!

* This man will be BLESSED TO HAVE YOU! BLESSED.

* I can hear that grease popping now and swoop, there he is. HE. IS. READY. FOR. THAT. CHICKEN!

* You make that smacktastic meals that’ll have him just drooling at the mouth for that buttery goodness of dinner.

* Someone put him on chicken livers and gizzards. (I’m south as hell, I know.)

* Everyone gonna wonder why he’s READY to get back home after work. Cause them greens be calling his name!

* Call him Honey and see what he does. See what he does!

* That little ego of his goes and he’s a blushing man. His wittle burst heart just explodes.

* That attitude though, you’re sweet a sugar but violent as hell. You almost murdered Endeavor because he talked shit about that sweet potato pie.

* Talking about pumpkin and sweet potato tastes the same. You turned a piece of chicken into a weapon and those feathers had to swoop your ass before you could do damage.

* He almost got smacked into the next century.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hitoshi Shinsou

* Him with a southern bell is on my bucket list of things to see. I know that’ll become cute shit right there.

* His calm and quiet demeanor with an adorably thick beauty like you is a match made in the highest heaven.

* It’s rather adorable to see him so curious to watch you cook because you add your style to it. If it was playing music, humming, or just going by your hands and letting the seasonings in like that.

* It’s cute that you do that.

* How in the hell you go from making a small meal to a full-course dinner is beyond me but you know he’s gonna eat it.

* For some strange reason, I see Shinsou as a pound cake guy. He likes how simple and sweet it is but it came to be made into a variety of delicious desserts.

* Fried pork chop is his favorite meal and you can’t change my mind. He needs a pork chop, some sweet peas, mashed potatoes with gravy and BUTTER, and lastly a tall glass of RED kool-aid in them granny cups.

* Shinsou gives me the biggest sugar or babe vibes more than anything. He won’t admit it, but he loves it when you call him that. It’s cute to hear that southern accent slide with it.

* On another note, Denki almost got killed one time. Yep, Sparky did.

* He walked into the kitchen during thanksgiving and pointed at the pot of greens in the sink...AND PROCEEDS TO TOUCH IT...imma stop there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* PLEASE HAVE YOUR HOT SAUCE READY WITH THIS MAN! NOT SRIRACHA, HOT SAUCE. THE REAL KNOWS THAT KYRSTALS ARE ALWAYS ON POINT.

* Just know it’s going on EVERYTHING!

* In greens, chicken, beans, corn, cabbage, everything.

* Bless him with that cream corn, smothered corn beef, and rice.

* GIVE HIM THE SUNDAY, WAITING ALL DAY AFTER CHURCH MEAL. That one meal you skip breakfast for because it’s so good but the pastor gotta carry that sermon for longer than necessary to get a point across.

* Even though he doesn’t eat sweets as much, he loves your peach cobbler. The delicious flaky crust with a delicious peach filling, just makes him happy.

* Katsuki likes to be called sweetie by you. That little southern twang slaps off your tongue and he silently admires it every time.

* He was nearly falling from his chair when Izuku nearly saw his life flash before his eyes for the nineteenth time and he’s why.

* Someone needs to educate him on the difference between cleaning your chicken and FULL BLOWN WASHING THAT BITCH WITH DAWN DISHWASHING SOAP.

* Never again, Deku. Never again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touya Todoroki

* Right off the fucking bat, Imma say this. You’re the honorary chef of the group and you’re in charge of making the meals.

* Everyone hated how Dabi was being blessed with your meals and they weren’t getting any.

* Haters gonna hate. You opened them to a whole new world of delicious things including the amazingness of fried foods within the hideout.

* Each day is a day of unexpected wonders and trust me, they’re not picky. Not anymore, that’s another story for the end.

* Dabi gives me a more biscuits guy than cornbread or rolls.

* And when the kitchen isn’t used as a area of fornication, he’ll offer his assistance. If it’s something that’s too hot or a jar you need him to open, he’ll open it.

* But it’s more you and Twice thing though, it relaxes him a bit and chills those bipolar thoughts of his when his minds at ease a bit. You teach him new things and he appreciates it.

* Dabi loves it when you call him sweetheart, sugar, or he’ll even his name. Your accent is very obvious to him and he loves hearing it in his ears.

* Dabi eats anything and doesn’t blink an eyelash when he sees the large plate you made for him.

* Shigaraki, on the other hand, learned his lesson. Dusty almost got smacked for saying your chicken was dry. YOUR CHICKEN?!

* You didn’t have to roast my baby that hard that night though..comparing him to a Popeye’s biscuit.

[creacherkeeper]

Wolf pups????

yeah

some Lore for yall is that i used to volunteer at a SUPER SKETCHY floridian exotic animal rescue that in no way shouldve been legal but i was a teenager and didnt have the skills to assess that at the time

my main job was working with the wolf puppies. that was the only large predator enclosure i was allowed in by myself. i would feed them, groom them, care for their enclosure, take them on walks, play with them, etc

anubis was my favorite because i named him and he was also very lazy and would pretty much just sleep on me. kashmere is ??? technically mine i dont know if shes still around, i used to have my certificate of ownership but i think that was just a formality thing and was in no way legally binding

i just looked this place up and apparently they have a liger and several hyenas now which horrifies me but (the owner was literally buck fucking wild and also stole money from us but thats a whole other thing)

my best best best friend there though was a 900lb siberian tiger named genesis, i always called him jenny. he was the sweetest boy in the world and would chuff so loud when he saw me walking up and LOVED getting ear scratches. im unfortunately allergic to cats so one time he licked me all the way up my arm and i had the WORST hives (yes tiger tongue is even rougher than cat tongue)

i also was just a weird little dude and apparently told none of my friends or teachers that i worked there. so one time we had a field trip there and i ??? still told no one so when we got there the tour guide was leading us around and i just. walked up to the tiger enclosure and stuck my arms in and started petting jenny and my teachers had near fatal attacks from the psychic damage. and then jenny immediately turned around and peed on everyone (tigers can piss like 20 feet straight backwards) and i had a good laugh about the whole thing

i got along with most of the animals there, but the female coatimundi HATED MY GUTS for literally no reason and i did not laugh when she hung from the top of her enclosure to pee on my head. it was a shame because her mate really just wanted to cuddle me all the time but she bullied him so bad. the foxes were more neutral and the leopards were mostly pretty aggressive but the puma was a big baby and just wanted to be my friend

the lion was a whole other story. literally the devil incarnate. terrified of him to this day. have NEVER been more afraid then when i thought for several hours he had gotten out of his enclosure and i just hid in a hole

[thedisneychef]

Victoria and Albert's Mushroom and Roasted Garlic Soup Recipe

I’ve never tried anything from Victoria and Albert’s and boy, this recipe has me thinking I should save my pennies and give Walt Disney World’s ultimate luxury dining experience a try. Victoria and Albert’s is located at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and is one of the most acclaimed restaurants not only in Walt Disney World, but central Florida. More Delicious Recipes You Will Love: - Roasted Potatoes – Tusker House - School Bread – Kringla Bakeri Og Cafe - Scotch Eggs – Rose And Crown Pub And Dining Room It has the highest luxury fine dining reviews on TripAdvisor and Yelp, and it’s one of only three restaurants in all of Florida to have AAA’s 5-Diamond Award. During your two hour experience, you have not just one, but two servers who work with each person individually to craft your own personal menu that’s laid out over six courses. That is, unless you sit at the Chef’s Table… Then you get your own Executive Chef who comes out and consults on your 11 course meal over three or four hours. No big deal, right? This is one of the highest levels of fine dining out there. Men wear dinner jackets, women wear dresses or pantsuits… They also (somewhat controversially) have a policy to not seat children under the age of 10 due to the size of the dining room and acoustics which command a quieter dining party. I can’t think of any restaurant at Disney that has table side sommilers to help you find individual wine pairings per course. Very fancy pants, for sure. Since dining here is slightly out of my price range, I was really excited to try a recipe from here. Not only did I want to get a taste of what the high rollers get to experience, I wanted the chance to practice some different techniques and just see if I was up to the challenge of making something that’s fine dining-style, as opposed to homestyle. I was really fascinated by this recipe because it wasn’t what I expected, in the absolute best of ways. It ended up being a spectacular reminder that a few well-chosen, high quality ingredients prepared correctly can really knock your socks off. As this is a cheese soup, my mind went immediately to perhaps the most famous cheese soup on property, and I expected this to be really similar. However, it could not be more different. Where the Cheddar Cheese Soup at Le Cellier is thick, creamy, and hearty, this soup is light, clean, and very thin. The texture is more like your traditional broth soup and not a thick cream. Designed to be a light soup course meal, this is a great alternative to people who love the flavor of that other cheddar soup, but not the heaviness. Honestly, and I was told it was sacrilegious to say this, I feel like this soup is actually better than Le Cellier’s soup. While you could bulk it up with bacon for a taste that’s both light and elevated, but slightly more hearty, I really think this soup is best appreciated as-is. I think this recipe is a new favorite of mine and I wish I could do justice to describing the flavor. The sharpness from the beer is obvious, but it’s tamed by the snap of the cheese and the creaminess of the cream, making it a really bold and not overwhelming flavor. While I can only have a bowl of the Le Cellier soup before feeling full, I ate a whole bowl of this and felt warmed, satisfied, but not heavy. It’s so amazingly delicious and perfect as both a cold weather comfort, or a light introduction to a gorgeous, luxurious dinner. In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today? Read the full article

[lizard-hair]

Tag eight people you’d like to get to know better!

tagged by @riddle-me-ducc (thank you!)

Favorite colors: black and periwinkle

Last song I listened to: An Alien’s ‘I Love You’ [2020 mix] by Utsu-P

Favorite musicians: glass animals, fall out boy, starset, florence + the machine, ashnikko, hozier, yungblud, ic3peak, and just. so many vocaloid producers

Last film I watched: i. genuinely have no idea

Last show I watched: no clue, but i’m going to say Monster because i am Always thinking about it

Favorite original character: god forgive me, but Kay. my horrible (un)dead alien man, op enough to drag me out of depressive episodes 🖤

Sweet, spicy or savory: sweet! 

Water, tea or coffee: water. i hate tea, try as i might to like it, and coffee is only acceptable to me if it’s iced or frozen (and has So Much added to it)

Pets: none, unless you count my moss ball named mo

Tagging: @bailey1rox @acapelladitty @hoodienanami @floridian-cryptid @sailor--diana @stripesthesupervillain @trellanyx @captainbaddecisions

[ariverofsongs]

Rules: tag people you’d like to get to know better

Thanks @enigmaticxbee and @dnscully for the tag!

Favorite color(s): Blue! specifically periwinkle atm

Last song I listened to: one from the Carol soundtrack (i can’t remember specifics)

Favorite musicians: sooo many I couldn’t list them all if I tried but some bands are Muse, Green Day and Nothing But Thieves. Also musical soundtracks. Here’s my spotify for current playlists. 

Last film I watched: Portrait of a Lady on Fire (AMAZING!!!!)

Last tv show I watched: I’m currently watching txf Leonard Betts #worms

Favorite characters: Mulder and Scully! Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jillian Holtzmann from Ghostbusters, Loki, River Song and the Eleventh Doctor from Doctor Who, Claire and Jamie from Outlander <3

Sweet, spicy or savory: Spicy

Sparkling water, tea or coffee: eewwww none 

Pets: I have a cat called Missy and 3 Chickens

tagging @midwest-cryptid and @the-floridian-brogle-boi