#my friends gave up on giving me any feedback apart from single word responses

[sachart]

In dreams Ronan put them to his mouth

[anadiasmount]

tainted memories - jude bellingham.

wow wow okay hi!! sorry for the break i took. i began uni again after my holiday so i haven’t been as active on here. but i received this request for jude, and decided to try it out. please leave some feedback as us writers appreciate it a lot 🤍🧟‍♀️

summary: breaking up wasn’t apart of the plan. so was also inviting him to your friends party, but now that he’s back after seven months, a little rekindle never hurts anyone, right?

angst? smut and fluff. minors dni! 🔞

wc: 3.6k

“need any help?” you turned slowly to be faced with those soft brown eyes. his plump lips drew in as he peeked his head through the door. you shook your head and got back to washing the dishes. “you going to continue ignoring me?” he said causing you to begin breathing quicker than before, after feeling his presence come behind you. 

you were in charge of one of your girlfriends all -white all-white-themed surprise party, in honor of her birthday. this meant you’d see jude after breaking up over 7 months ago, since your friends were friends with his. while seeing familiar faces made you happy, you couldn't help but feel sad all over again. jude and you ended on good terms, so he thought, after he stressed he wanted to focus on his last months at dortmund and start with his new team in madrid. 

you didn’t want to split, rather try and make your relationship work and get through the obstacles you were bound to face together. you physically and mentally weren't prepared to let him go, he was your person, the person who never failed to make you feel like the luckiest girl. you were his, but instead, you let him go, and respected what he asked.

you began a new cycle all over again, from having that hard shell that protected you to being his girlfriend, then back to being that old person you were building your walls up again. people came and went in your life, its what you were used to, and you thought with jude it was different… he made you feel different, in many positive aspects, always supportive, loving, caring, and soft with you. 

maybe you pushed him away? maybe you gave him a reason to leave? maybe you weren’t enough for him? 

jude being jude still tried to keep contact, he would text, sometimes call, but you knew deep inside you wouldnt be able to move on if he was still present. it hurt because he wasn’t yours anymore, you still loved him, after months being apart, he still brought that spark inside you to burst. it was his effect burned inside you. 

the familiar perfume and scent blinded your senses, when you felt two arms trap you from behind, two hands on the edge of the counter. “you haven’t said a single word to me y/n…” you shuddered as he whispered in your ear, his nose tracing your jaw down to the nape of your neck. “say something, please…” the pleading in his voice broke your heart. you dried your hands and turned around. 

his face centimeters apart from yours, where you could see his brows fluttering in and eyes darker than usual. “excuse me,” you tried to move out of the way but he refused, “no. did i say or do something? you don’t answer my calls? my messages? tell me why.” you opened your mouth to speak but instead you shook your head again, attempting to move out the way, you still had the responsibility of the party, that was your priority right now. 

“y/n-”

“no. you don’t get to do that. you said you wanted your space, and i’m respecting that. i don’t have to give you reasons as to why i’m not speaking with you, jude. what we had was said and done, you wanted to focus on yourself and that's great- “

“y/n? are you done with the dishes were waiting on you to surprise emmy,” one of your friends said, becoming slightly awkward at the room with your ex. she sensed the high tension so she quickly went back outside. jude’s hand wrapped around your wrist, your attention back on him, “we're talking later. we ended on good terms and i plan for them to remain that way,” jude insisted, to which you only nodded your head. 

he was confused. for once in his life he was confused that you were such a stranger around him. the girl that stayed up with him while he reminisced and spoke of his early days at birmingham, the one and only girl his mum loved and adored, his girl who made his favorite dish after a bad game, the girl who smiled only around him, the only girl who never failed to bring and feel butterflies in him, the one girl who defended him always, and that girl who made him into a bigger and better person. that girl, his girl, wasn’t there anymore. 

maybe he lost you for good? maybe you didn’t love him anymore? maybe you were seeing someone? no, you were his, only his. 

the night was successful, the surprise went to plan, and everyone was having a good time. although you were still stuck from earlier, trying to do anything to distract your thoughts from him, whether it was picking up cups, heating up food, talking with your girls especially, and drink the special cocktail you loved dearly. your eyes trailed over to him again, where you locked eye contact for the hundredth time that night. he looked good, way too good, twenty was treating him right. 

“you and jude keep ogling? something going on?” you friend asked, catching onto the lingering glances. she took a sip of her red cup, “nothing really. he wants to talk but i don't know if i’m ready for that. i knew he would be coming, but i wasn’t prepared to see him like that. what if he tells me he found someone else? or that-” you panic rubbing your forehead with your palm. 

“first breathe, i’m here with you. as much as it may hurt or feel slightly uncomfortable, it's the closure you may need to move on. but what if he wants to talk with you to rekindle again? do you think you would be open to that? and if he says he’s someone else, show him what he will miss on. you're beautiful y/n, and he was lucky to have you once in his life, just don’t let him bring you down again…” 

she was right. if he did move on, that wasn’t your place to meddle, you’d have to let him go and be happy for him. but if he did want to consider getting back together, why now? why now when he’s living his best life in madrid? why now after saying he wanted to focus on himself? why now when you’re trying to avoid those soft brown eyes who once brought happiness to you, still do…

“just think about it yeah? right now lets dance, distract yourself from him and the world,” she yelled as soon as krazy by pitbul begin to play. you laughed and danced with your girls, letting loose and for once not caring for what anyone said or did. you threw back two shots, knowing they weren’t going to do anything as you weren't a lightweight. 

as the night came to an end, mostly everyone had left, besides him. you said your goodbyes to your friends, offering them leftovers of food and cake, making sure to wish them a be careful, and promising to hang out soon. you sighed tiredly closing the front door, looking over at the big couch that drew you in to sit down on. jude appears, but all you do is stare at your hands, tracing the small tattoos you have to get rid of the anxiety beginning to build up.

“i want to apologize, you were right. i did say i wanted to focus on myself but i was stupid thinking it would’ve still meant us talking like we always did. part of me never wanted to let go of you, and still doesn’t. i thought that i was doing the right thing but in the end i learned the hard way that not only was i hurting myself but you along…” jude says, watching as your head slowly lifts up, your cheeks burning red.

“while it was hard on me, my mind always traced back to you. how your eyes filled with confusion and tears when i broke up with you. i get why you didn’t want anything to do with me, but believe me it was harder to not hear or see you on the daily. please don’t blame yourself for one bit, or think you aren’t enough because you’re more than perfect than what i could’ve asked for…”

“i needed to get away from you, but it's hard doing that when your ex-boyfriend is the talk of the town,” you joke hearing him let out a small chuckle. “i wanted to so badly respond to hear your voice, how you were doing, talk about our silly work problems but i knew if that i continued to hold onto the hope one day you’d come back, it would hurt more than loving you every day,” you said.

“i was confused yeah, but i needed to think on the brighter side that you were doing this for yourself and not for any other reason. I just wanted the best for you and i thought that distancing myself was the best idea… i still love you so much jude, and this, us, hurts. i’m not yours, and i can’t call you mine anymore, i can’t hold or kiss you, love you like i did…” you continued. 

“when i heard you weren’t doing okay after three months i almost caved in, but i thought you would’ve hated me or worse just not care. and to not have you like i once did was taking a toll on me. my mom was concerned as to why we broke up, but i couldn’t tell her the truth. i hurt you and im so sorry baby…” jude cried out, grabbing your hands and kissing over your knuckles. 

“I want and need you back… i still love you more than ever, and if you let me i can prove to you im now a better and mature man…” he pauses and breathes in, “leaving you was the scariest thing i’ve encountered, not having you by my side taught me i can't live or sleep without you there…”

“and if you say all of this to just leave me again? or you regret your decision to get back with me?” you can’t help but ask, letting a few tears out. what if it got too much for him? you wouldn’t be able to live with another heartache caused by him again. you need to hear him say he’s in it for the long run, not one where he can just up and go whenever he pleases. 

“i can assure you right here, right now, that you’re it for me. you’re my future wife, the mother to my kids, the only person i want to grow old with. the only girl who’ll support me at the end of the day no matter what. the only woman who i will forever love and cherish…” you giggle and choke on a sob, feeling jude’s thumb wipe away the tears. 

“don’t leave me… that all i ask. but i need you too jude. all i ask is for you to communicate with me, for us to give each other the assurance we need to move forward, that at the end of the day you’re the only one i come back to, to watch spy kids over and over again,” you say making him chuckle, watching as he let out some tears. You wiped them away, brushing your thumb over his soft cheek, his eyes closing at the feeling. “So were really doing this?” you ask. “yes we are really doing this…” jude says leaning and scooting closer to you. 

you leaned in, his eyes slowly fluttering closed, was this real? the touch of his lips connecting with yours confirmed it. the way his larger hand cupped your cheek and pulled closer, completely taking your breath away. you whimpered softly as his tongue entered your mouth, him groaning at the smallest sound you made. you brought your hands and cupped his upper shoulders before bringing your smaller palm on his cheek. 

jude pulled you onto his lap where you felt the big prominent bulge, leaning forward and grabbing your torso to hold you in place. his lips quickly connected back with yours, tilting his head to the side a bit as he pulled you closer, chest to chest. “jude…” you let out quietly, the tension all becoming too much, too hot… 

“yes? fuck- d-do you wanna stop?” he whispered faintly on your lips, to which you shook your head no. you leaned back slightly, your hands going back to unzip the white dress you were wearing, jude’s eyes roaming from your swollen lips down to your chest where your white lace bra covered what he wanted to see. “are you sure? i don’t want you to regret this y/n…” 

“i’m more than sure that i want this… i need you, jude. just like you just said…” he groaned and pulled you back towards him, where he kissed your lips like a hungry starved man. peppering kisses from your jaw, down to your neck, and that exact spot he manages to find that makes you go crazy. he bites down gently then sucks the skin where he marked you, kissing softly over it. “i need you too. need you so bad my cock’s aching to feel you again…”

he lays you down onto the plushy soft couch, grabbing a pillow and laying underneath your head. jude quickly removes the dress but leaves you with your white undergarments, his hands dragging your sides, observing your body like it would be his last time seeing it. you begin to cover yourself but he stops you, grabbing your hands with one of his and trapping them above you head. 

he kisses you softly on your lips, then your forehead in reassurance, “don’t cover up baby. you’re so beautiful and all mine, yeah?” you nodded leaning up to kiss him again. he lets go of your hands, watching as you sit up again, overlooking at your fingers fidgeting with the button on his top. he lets you do it, your warm palms connecting with now his bare chest, running your thumb over his nipple, looking up shyly to see jude bitting his bottom lip.

as you lay back down, you watch as he removes his pants, his erected cock lined against his black calvins. “staring at me now?” jude teased, his hands resting on your knees as he pulled them apart to settle between them. “can’t help it, jude. you’re so handsome,” you complimented watching as he smirked. “and i’m all yours, right? say it y/n…”

“all mine.”

“good. because all that nonsense from before isn’t true. you’ve always been mine… only mine.” jude removed your bra, kissing from your collarbone down through your sternum, to finally sucking the hard erected nipple into his mouth. a soft moan left your lips, arching your back just a bit, while your hands gently grabbed his head. you didn’t expect your night to end like this, but you weren’t complaining since jude knew what exactly to do. he knew what brought you to the point where you saw only stars. 

your eyes connected, watching as he flatly laid his warm tongue on the bud before sucking it again, twisting the tip of his tongue before doing the same to the other nipple. you felt as his lips traced all over your abdomen and hipbone, feeling as he removed the only thing that was left covering you. “can i taste you? make you cum all over my tongue again?” you moaned at his words, telling him to go on. 

one hand kept your inner thigh open, as the other one rested over his shoulder. he kissed along the inner flesh before kissing and sucking your clit into his mouth. he groaned, watching as your eyes rolled back. his tongue moved up and down various on the small bead before going left to right, kitty licking all the way down to your coated entrance. “oh fuck!” you yelled out, as he brought two fingers and began to flick them in and out, hitting that certain spot that brought you closer and closer than ever. 

he tilted his head to the side, his curls ticking your inner thigh as he began to flick over your clit once again. Jude’s fingers now flicking inside you, “i can’t, i’m close jude…” you said bringing your hands to play with your tits. “yeah? then cum for me y/n. cum all over my tongue like i asked,” to which you yelped and moaned as you felt on cloud nine again, closing your eyes and letting the feeling of euphoria linger all over you body. 

he overstimulated you just for a bit, then kissed all the way back up again to your lips, where gripped your hips, grinding into you to relieve himself. “you feel that? that’s how you make me feel baby…” he whispers feeling as your hand slides down his abs, to the waistband of his underwear. the kiss is heated, tongues fighting for dominance, jude pulling away sometimes to groan or moan against your neck, as you gave him the sloppiest handjob. 

feeling as he twitches on your palm as you guide your hand up and down, tugging and wrapping your grip tightly before soothing over it. “i need to cum… but not like this. can i fuck you now?” he admits, looking over and making sure there are no signs of you being unsure or regret. “please jude, i want to feel you a-ag-again…” you shuddered as you felt his hot tip being dragged up and down your slit. 

one hand helped him stay up, while the other one guided his cock inside you, the familiar stretch of your walls as he easily slides into you. the two of you moan in delight, stunned at the pleasure as jude begins to roll his hips, going deeper and deeper. arching your back as he pulled out his cock and then quickly rolled back in. “jude..” you moan like a devotion, squeezing him tight, hearing him let out a grunt before feeling him thrust back into you. 

you cry out as you feel his big length find a nice wave of ecstasy for the two of you, jude’s head falling into your shoulder trying to hold back from cumming on the spot. “you feel so so so good baby. such a tight pussy for me…” he moans out when you scratch his back and grip his biceps. you look down to see where your bodies meet, a wet mess that has you rolling your head back again. 

“oh god jude… you’re so deep i can’t-” you turn your head to the side as he finds your g-spot thrusting over and over again, his hips slapping against yours. it couldn't get more better than this. jude grabs your chin and kisses you passionately, swallowing your moans and pleads. “you’re gonna cum for me? need and want you to cum on my cock y/n… show me how much of a good girl you are and cum on my cock, baby.”

jude makes it his goal to have you cumming for him, but you try to hold off so you can cum together. every cell in your body is on fire, ready to burst into fire because it feels so good. it gets harder by the second as he picks up the pace, his thrusts sloppier by the second, moaning your name, resulting in you clenching around him. you're unable to form coherent words, just hearing his breathing getting louder, your chest rising. “i’m nearly there y/n, want you to cum with me, can you do that?”

“yes jude… but i beg you to please don’t stop it.”

jude let’s go of your hips, forehead falling with yours as he reaches his high, feeling his cock twitching inside you, his cum lacing your wet walls with his release. your body tenses for a second, the hot feeling now being replaced by cold waves as you cum, lazily kissing as jude lays on your chest. “i love you, y/n, so much.”

“i love you too Jude. forever like we promised.”

after going up for a shower, jude takes care of you, since you were unable to walk properly. he makes sure you’re hydrated, wearing the plaid shorts you love with a black long sleeve, him just an old pair of boxers he still had lying in your flat, he checks that all lighting units downstairs are off, grabbing the box of cookies and goldfish to eat. 

he pulls you into his embrace, hugging your waist never letting go, constantly softly kissing your cheek like he always did. after he uses the restroom and helps you brush your teeth, you’re lying on your bed, the white sheets covering your shivering bodies. 

jude lays on top of your chest again, his right hand sliding up and down your side, his head resting comfortably on the crook of your neck, his eyes fluttering and smiling when you kiss his temple lovingly. “go to sleep jude… you need it, i’m not going anywhere,” you promise feeling as he wraps you closer to him. “don’t ever let me go please, just want you here like this all the time…” he confesses, his head coming up to see your glowy eyes. 

“i’m not gonna… i feel safe and at home in your arms like this jude. so no, i’m not letting you go again or ever,” you stick with your word. jude’s lips softly kiss yours, tasting your cherry chapstick with a hint of mint.

“goodnight princess. i love you.”

[xxxtrouvaillexxx]

Let’s Strike a Deal

A/N: This is late, I know. If you have not realized from before, I’m really bad at meeting deadlines. Well, at least deadlines that I’ve created for myself to follow because I like to procrastinate things and frankly… what am I gonna do to myself? Band myself from tea until I’ve written a chapter? I don’t have the self control for that! And life is hectic. But you know, enough with my excuses and onto the story. Hope you enjoy. I always love feedback so please be sure to leave a comment! ALSO I wanted to give a TRY (key word) to first person. If I don’t like it... I might change it, idk. I should never write anything at 3am as per evidence below, especially without editing lmao

Pair: CEO!Tom x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the small town of Hawkshead girl trying to make her way in the big city of Westminster, London. Not as easy as she thought. When things start to take a turn for the worst one afternoon and only one man in the crowd of hundreds decides to help her, she does something rather uncharacteristic and gives her savor her number in case he could ever use help of his own. Course, she never expected for him to actually call her out on it.

Masterlist

Warning(s): none… yet. Cursing?

Word Count:

My time was limited. There was nothing left that had to be done here or anything left to pack. Everything I’ve ever owned sat in a car on the way to my new apartment and last of the suitcases were in the bed of my brothers pickup at this very moment while I sat on the floor of my room. There wasn’t anything left for me here, I knew that, but it was still difficult to say goodbye to the place that carried so many of my favorite memories and the imprints of my childhood that still were splayed around the surrounding room.

There were two dents in the wall right in front of me from when I was ten and hit my head after tripping on one of my toys, thumbtack holes that littered everywhere above the bed from forts that I would make with my brothers and friends, nail polish that was spilled on the carpet from times when I was too distracted with talking than keeping the bottle up straight, my engraved initials on the windowsill. The memories that I had made in this room were countless and they were all absolutely priceless.

“Y/N!” I heard your mother call from the living room, her voice was slightly hoarse from held back emotion and it broke my heart to hear her like that. “You got to get going, dear! You’ll miss your train if you wait much longer to head out.”

Taking a deep breath and slowly standing from the, now old, bed I made my way toward the door, feet dredging behind me and scuffing the floor as I walked out. “I know, Mama. I’m just-” the words caught in my throat and I was at a loss. “I’m really going to miss you guys so much.”

“Oh stop it, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep on like that,” She said giving a tight hug before pushing me out the front door. “You are going to love it in London so much you’re not even gonna be thinking about us here, so get goin’. Your brothers already waiting for you in the car.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “I love you Mama! I’ll call you when I get there!”

Jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, I waved final goodbyes from the window, dramatically blowing kisses as the car started to drive away.

“You better!” She exclaimed, watching as we pulled out and down the road.

“She is going to be a mess when I get back home. I can’t believe you’re going to leave me to deal with that alone!” Christian, stuck driving you to the train station much to his dismay, gave you a mocking glare. “After all the things I’ve done for your, this is how you choose to repay me? I’m pretty sure I’m getting the short end of the stick here,” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ahhh~” I cooed and smiled, “You’re only saying that cause you know you guys’ are going to be missing me so much!”

“Miss you?” He scoffed, “Yeah right. What we’re going to be missing is your baking. It’ll be the greatest blow our family has faced since 1824.”

I gave a scathing look, “And what, if I may ask, happened in 1824?”

“Don’t know, but something bad probably.”

»»-——————————————-««

I have never been so sore getting off of a bus in her life. The cheapest route to get to Westminster from Hawkshead was a train and 8 bus stops, totaling up to 10 or so hours in and out of vehicles. I groaned and stretched when my feet planted on hard asphalt for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, for all the soreness, I had made it to my destination with time to spare.

It was louder than I had imagined, crowded with traffic from all directions and people running any which way to get on with their lives. It was bustling and busy. Lively. Not exactly what I was used to which made me smile. 

Wide.

I made it. 

I only had a suitcase with me, the rest of her belongings would be delivered in a few days to the new apartment. 

My apartment. 

I was positively giddy at the thought. 

It took a lot of self control to keep from skipping down the side walks while I somehow navigated the new scenery, but I managed to keep my excitement under wraps for the time being. Arriving an hour early gave me a bit of time to take in the bigger sites near by, like the Ferris wheel, the clock tower Big Ben, and my personal favorite- Westminster Palace and abbey. It was a dream of mine since I was little to see it in person, and now here I was standing mere blocks away from the grand building, elated and amazed. 

Vibrating caught my attention and I barely managed to turn my eyes away from the sites in front of me to my phone, Kyra’s name popping up on the screen. My best friend and now room mate, Kyra Bardou, who was probably wondering where the hell I was now. 

“Hey,” I drawled with an obvious grin I couldn’t even hide in my voice. 

“Hey yourself! I’ve been waiting at the stop for 15 minutes with no sign of you only to learn you’re already in town and didn’t even bother to tell me!” She spoke so quickly I was shocked she didn’t run out of breath and laughed. 

“I’m site seeing, sue me!” I turned and started making the slow walk back, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise.”

She only grunted in response and let me walk in a comfortable silence, letting me continue to take everything in while simply enjoying her presence on the line. It was the last few moments I’d get now, the last bits of my old life slipping through my fingers like sand in exchange for a new one. 

And the chaos that comes with a big city. 

Like robbers. 

I couldn’t even let out a cry as I was shoved to the ground, my phone forced from my hand and my suitcase caught up in a strange mans arms. It took me a whole 5 seconds to get my bearings enough to yell at the man and give chase, shouting for help though no one so much as looked our way, just moved out of his. 

“Stop!” I screamed, running but quickly losing him as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd skillfully. “Stop! Someone stop him!”

And this time, someone moved to action, running past me at an alarming rate and quickly gaining ground on my assailant before they both rounded a corner and I lost sight of them. 

My heart dropped and I picked up speed again, hoping that I didn’t let them get far enough away for me to lose them completely, it would have been easy for them to get away from me here.

But when I turned around the block, I found the man on the ground with the track star of a man on top of him, already on the phone with I assume the police. I finally caught up to them and without thinking, hugged the man on the phone, a silent thank you while he spoke to whoever was on the line, before I gathered my things and hugging them close to me. 

He smiled kindly, finishing the call and turning to me properly while still pinning the thief to the ground. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes! Thank you so much, I’d have been completely lost without this,” I gestured to my luggage. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get it back. I don’t even know how to get around town yet.”

He laughed and nodded. “So new to town then. It was my pleasure to help, though I was really just doing what anyone in my position would do,” he responded kindly.

Furiously I shook my head, “No, you didn’t. I don’t believe I saw a single soul other than you move to help. Unless you did but beat them to it at the last minute. Not that that it implausible, you are seriously fast on your feet.” 

He laughed again and I noticed what a nice laugh he had, it was contagious and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of my own now that my adrenaline was fading bit by bit. “Yes, well- I do enjoy the sport.”

“Dually noted,” I grinned, jumping a little when my phone started to buzz in my hands. Kyra’s name popping up on the screen again. “Shoot!” I exclaimed and answered. I wasn’t even able to put the phone to my ear before I heard her shouting my name on the line. “Kyra-”

“Oh my god, Y/N! What the heck happened, I heard you shout and then the line went dead! Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” She was speaking so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear a safe distance as she spouted one question after another at me without reprieve. 

My rescuer across from me chuckled, overhearing my frantic friend. “I’m fine, someone tried to steal my stuff on my way to meet you. Luckily someone came along and helped me catch him, otherwise I’d have lost everything. But everything is okay now, we are-” I looked around and realized I have no idea where we were. 

He seemed to catch on to my newest distress and whispered, “Tell them we are on the corner of Tufton and Bennett’s Yard.”

I nodded and mouthed a thank you, “ Tufton and Bennett’s Yard,” I repeated and she said she’d be here in a 10 minutes and to sit and wait before hanging up the phone. 

I slouched on the wall of some building, letting myself relax. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but thank you.”

He just shook his head, “No need. You’re friend sounded pretty worried about you, it wouldn’t do well to let her stew in that worry longer than needed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years since we last saw each other. She’d be pretty upset if something bad happened before I could even move in,” I laughed, though it didn’t quite sound right even to my ears. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I introduced and stuck my hand out. 

He took it and gave a firm shake, “Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N. Even in these less than optimal circumstances.” 

“The pleasure is mine, I assure you.”

“Y/N!” Someone yelled, and we both turned our heads to see Kyra sprinting full speed around her car and at me. I stood and braced myself for the collision of her, and fell back against the wall with the force of her body. 

“Holy shit, girl! You scared the hell outta me, you could have died! This is why I told you to call me when you first got into town, you always manage to get yourself into trouble like this. What would I have told your parents if something happened, huh? Huh!?”

I grinned and pulled back to get a proper look at her. Her black hair, normally frizzy was sticking out in every direction and her honeyed eyes wide as she scanned me over, running her hands over my arms for injuries. “I’m fine, Kyra. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” She shot back with a glare, “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Well, there is a first for everything after all.”

Tom laughed hard at our back and forth, making us both jump a little and look down at him. Before I could even say anything, Kyra was down on his level with the thieves shirt in her fists and a scowl that would scare the devil himself on her face. 

“Is this the bastard that did this?” 

“Let go!” I shrieked and pulled her off, albeit with a little effort. “Tom called the cops and they’ll deal with this properly. Not you,” I said sternly. She just let out a huff of a response and pushed herself back enough to look at Tom properly. 

She gave him a once over and held her scowl in place, “So you’re the one who saved Y/N/N?”

He gave a small, hesitant nod and gave me a nervous glance. I just laughed and stood back up, as Kyra launched forward to give him a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured a few times and pulled back. 

“No worries,” he said, and looked far less distressed now that Kyra didn’t look like she wanted to gut him. “I was there at the right time is all.”

“Yes, well- That doesn’t mean what you did was anything less than amazing. My whole life is in that bag and in that phone at the moment. Seriously, if there is anything I can do for you in return it’s yours. Ice cream, some roller skates, a kidney. Just ask.”

Everyone laughed at that and he nodded with an obviously sarcastic “sure”, just as the police arrived to take the culprit and our statements. Kyra mumbled something about them being slow and went to the car for a few minutes to be out of the way. 

15 minutes later, everything was settled and they took the man away. Leaving Tom and I alone on the side walk again while I settled everything in my case to be sure I didn’t miss anything and quickly scribbled on a stray notecard. 

“I meant it when I said I owe you one,” I said and handed the card with my name and number to him. “Just give me a ring if I can ever be of any help at all and I’ll come running. Though, probably much slower than you did.”

He tried to decline the offer only once, but after some persistence he took it with another smile, “Thank you, Y/N. Hopefully this will not be our last meeting. And hopefully never again under such pressing circumstances,” he held out his hand, and I took it, returning his earlier shake with a firm one of my own and I agreed. 

“Until next time then,” he said and left. 

I barely was able to take my seat in the car before Kyra grasped my arm with a devious smile, “Y/N/N- Did you just give that guy your number?” My silence was answer enough and she laughed, “Girl! No way!”

No way was right, I thought with a small smile of my own as we pulled away and started home.

»»-——————————————-««

TAGS: open 

@drakesfiance @dumbgopher1​ @kewlbeans-22​​

[misterewrites]

Mystery at the Salt-Irons

Hey everyone! E here with a new chapter! kept you waiting huh? Haha sorry it's been a busy few weeks. Nothing serious but I had to keep starting and stopping this chapter so it threw me off but it's here, it's ready and I hope you enjoy it!

I have some special guests in this story, some ocs made by my friends because you know what I can so I will and honestly, they were really great oc ideas guys. so keep an eye out for @hains-mae and Biz_fantasist  OC(I don’t know if she has a tumblr but it’s late so I’ll edit it later) 

That's it for me! I hope you are all stay safe, keep your loved ones safe, wash your hands, wear your masks, push to give everyone the vaccine cuz this is getting ridiculous. I hope you have a great week, thank you for reading. I deeply appreciate and feel free to share it with your friends, give me feedback. Reblog and comments all that fun stuff! Thanks and I'll see you soon!

Here’s the chapter over at Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/85394095

Here’s the story from the beginning if you’re curious what this is about

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

and here’s a list of all my work both original and the various fandoms I write for

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/works

Summary:  Finnrick is called to solve a mysterious case as per his job as the city's only Private Investigator wizard but as he sinks deeper into the case, the more it seems that something is happening behind the scenes. Of course with an old friend in town and dark magic surrounding the case, Finnrick is as busy as ever. Ain't no rest for the wicked.

-----

The Salt-Iron Flats weren’t anything special on the surface: An unassuming apartment complex on the north side of Newton Haven, the only thing most people remembered about the place was how the price tag hurt their souls.

Of course, unlike the general housing market, the Salt-Irons (affectionately referred to by the locals) actually had a very reasonable reason for fetching such a high rate: The salt and cold iron baked into every single brick that formed the building.

If you weren’t in the magical know, you’d think it utterly insane that you’d be forced to pay such a large amount of cash because some weirdo decided to make a new age artistic statement with bricks. Of course, if you are aware of the greater community at large, you’d knew you were paying the insanely large sum because someone decided to make the Salt-Irons the single most protective location in the city.

Most mortals have forgotten their history, their lore and collective knowledge passed down throughout the generations: Why their ancestors used to place lines of salt in front of the door and windows, why the elders always suggested to the braver, recklessly youthful family members to carry iron whenever they ventured through the wild.

Outer beings were repelled by salt and iron. No one really had an idea why fae, angels and demons weren’t fond of salt or iron and there's been plenty of arguing about the subject but all in all the fact remained they did not do well when faced with either.

That was the main reason Finnrick didn’t find himself in the north side of town often.

Well that and the zealous Gate Keepers. Those guys were freaks but between them and the Salt-Irons being the only supernatural community up here, Finn never got a case from the area.

Until today.

The Salt-Irons were great at protecting you from any outside threats that wished you ill will: It didn’t protect you from anything you decided to bring in with you.

It was five in the morning when Finnrick got the call. The M.R.R.D representative didn’t have much to offer beyond the address and floor but he thanked her all the same.

Finnrick yawned tiredly, stretching the tension out of his neck while he sipped his coffee. He let out a sigh of relief as the sun slowly rose into the sky.

The Salt-Irons was a twelve story tall building painted a ghastly pale green that made Finnrick sick just looking at it.

“People are paying how much to live in that shade? I’d ask for discount if I were them.” Finnrick laughing to himself, making his way into the apartment complex.

Luckily the interior was much nicer than the outside: Everything was well kept and cleaned. Not a single speck of dust in sight and the wooden stairs didn’t creak when Finnrick placed his foot on them.

Which was good given Finnrick needed to go up seven flights of stairs.

Finnrick wheezed a little, wiping the sweat from his brow when he reached the seventh floor. He glanced down the hall one way then the other as he began to search for room 707 which basic deductive reasoning suggested should be around the corner.

Finnrick crushed the empty foam cup and tucked it into his coat pocket as he made his way to 707. It was a simple wooden door and immaculately spotless just like the rest of the place. He rose his hand and gently rapped on the door.

No response.

He frowned, checking if he was still alone in the empty hallway and rose his hand towards the door frame.

His eyes glowed with a blue energy as he whispered softly “Revelis”

The door gleamed with a bluish hue for a moment before fading away without a trace.

No protective spells laced over the frame so the only thing Finn had to worry about now if it was locked.

He tried the knob, unsurprised when it swung open silently.

“It’s not breaking and entering if someone’s expecting you” Finnrick justified to himself as he pushed the door in.

He nearly staggered backwards: The air tasted thick and foul like something had been left rotting inside. His skin prickled with anxiety, a chill running down his spine with each step he took further in.

Finnrick took deep, calming breathes while doing his best to ignore the bitter taste that seem to cling the air within.

He noticed the trail of footsteps, perfectly preserved in what appeared to be black dust leading deeper into the living room.

“Hey da! You here?” Finnrick called out, carefully stepping closer “You and ma still married?”

There was a deep grunt of acknowledgment before a voice responded “Sorry son, we’re divorced now. She got custody of you.”

“Well fuck. I guess I’m going to be eating kale and poorly cooked spinach for the rest of my life.”

Garrus Valka was not in fact Finnrick’s father, adoptive or otherwise. He was actually one of the highest ranked officers of the Magical Rapid Response Department: An elf clocking in at 200 years old with richly tanned skin. His bluish gray hair was slicked back in his preferred style. Garrus’s had his back turned to the detective but Finn knew his sliverish gray eyes were deep in concentration as he took down notes about the surroundings. His beautifully inhuman features were marred with a scar on the right side of his face: burnt skin on his cheek, healed by time and various surgeries. An old war wound though Finn never got the full story.

He was dressed in typical M.R.R.D fashion: Dark blue windbreaker, jeans and a blue shirt with the words “Powered by coffee and spite” splashed across the front. His Winchester rifle was slung across his back, ready for any action that may befall the elf.

“Drift.” Garrus greeted teasingly while offering a hand.

Finnrick gave it a playful shake “Da. So is mom here or she trying to smite pigeons again?”

“THEY TRIED TO STEAL MY HOTDOG!” Garrus’s partner Eden screamed from another room “I SHALL BRING MY GOD’S WRATH UPON THEM!”

“You know when they mean justice.” Finnrick called out “I don’t think they mean against winged rats.”

Eden chuckled darkly “You know not their sins.”

“Okay.” Finnrick nodded despite the fact she couldn’t see him “If you say so. What happened Da? Aside powerful necromancy.”

“Powerful necromancy” Garrus replied cheekily “and missing persons.”

Finnrick rose an eyebrow “Persons? More than one?”

“Two: A father and son. Richard Charles and his son Richard Jr. Recluses it seems. Neighbors hardly saw them. Mostly kept to themselves.”

Finnrick pursed his lips thoughtfully “Any magical abilities?”

“They’re not on records if that’s what you mean.” Garrus answered “Never signed up in the academy, not registered with The Council. If they were practitioners they didn’t tell anyone.”

“So what was the spell? I just smell the remnants of spookiness.”

“Hadn’t noticed the rest of the room huh?”

Finnrick frowned before finally getting a good look at the rest of the room: Every inch of the apartment was blanketed with the same black dust that he found in the entrance way. Inches and inches of the substance and that wasn’t the strangest part.

Everything was bent at different and odd angles: chair with crooked legs, the wall clock warped and twisted, the fridge leaning like someone folded it in half. Floorboard reached for the sky and walls split inward.

There was a common misconception about magic. Most people thought spell casters, especially wizards, could command reality to their wills. That magic was capable of impossible feats and it was as simple as snapping your fingers.

The truth was all magic, ranging from divinity to free range nature, was performed on a micro scale. Practitioners did not alter reality but rather shortcut it. Throwing fireballs was as simple as rapidly heating the air until it combusted. Turning invisible was less about vanishing completely as it was bending the light around you to not be seen. Magic was rooted in reality and imagination. If you had the magical strength to perform the magic, the magic often followed your lead.

Of course there were spells that required much more than magical hand and willpower. Powerful magic, like summoning outer beings or raising an army of zombies, required both time and materials. Magic was like any other energy: you needed enough of it to perform what you wanted. The human body could only generate so much magic without dying and resting was necessary to replace any expended in the use of spells. Materials were guidelines for the spell. Feathers for anything with flight, ash for fireballs etc etc.

The other thing needed was to gather energy and store it for the spell’s use. There were different ways to achieve this: Wands, talismans, potions were basically magic soups. The most efficient way to gather energy was the wizards preferred way: Circles.

Finnrick eyed the room closely this time, murmuring under his breath about angles and trajectory. Garrus paid him no mind, well familiar with the private investigators methods.

“If this went like that” he gestured to the wall clock “and that went here.”

Finnrick glanced about, carefully walking about as if worried he was going to step on a landmine.

“Here.” Finnrick found himself staring at a spot in the middle of the room “Ventus.”

He gestured with a hand and light breeze filled the room. It brushed away some of the dust covering floor, revealing the outline of a half melted metal ring.

“What is it?” Garrus turned curiously

“Spell circle. The source of the explosion. I’m willing to bet it’s custom made. Copper, steel. Maybe some bits of tin couldn’t stand the surge.”

“No iron or sliver?”

Finnrick shook his head “That’s for containing or repelling monsters. Necromancy is more about drawing in the evil entities. Or sucking out life.”

Garrus sighed tiredly “Don’t touch?”

“Only if you want to live to see retirement. Might have some pent up magic ready to blow outwards.”

“Understood. I’ll call in our guys. I’ll let you know if something comes up.”

Finn nodded gratefully while pulling out a vial and motioning to the elf “Mind if I do?”

“Be my guest, you might find something we’d miss.”

Finnrick smiled gratefully before scooping up some of the dust and sealing it within the vial.

“Take care Garrus, stop fighting birds Ma!”

“Flying rats!”

-----

The cafe was lively despite being early but that was no surprise given it was Mother’s. Mother’s was the single best food establishment in all Newton Haven and if anyone disagreed, they were allowed to have their opinions.

They were also allowed to be wrong.

Finnrick paused in the doorway, breathing in the scent of well cooked eggs and sweet lemonade. The pop and sizzle of heated grease brought a sense of comfort to the hard working private investigator.

“Finny Drift!” Maddie Copperstone called from behind the counter “How’s my favorite customer holding up?”

Maddie was 40 years young with tastefully curled dark brown hair. Human, little on the short side but fierce. She wore a simple red blouse and jeans, both stained with flour that the apron around her waist did not prevent.

Finnrick bounced over cheerfully, reaching over the counter to give the matron the biggest hug he could muster “I’m good Maddie. Working a case.”

Maddie’s brown eyes searched his face carefully “You always working Finny. You resting as much?”

“Scout’s honor.”

Maddie let out a disbelieving chuckle “You weren’t ever a Scout.”

“Honorary scout after I stopped that bear from eating them.”

“Thought it was a giant raccoon.”

“Yes but people don’t take giant raccoon seriously. He here?”

Maddie clicked her tongue disappointingly but motioned to the booth at the far end of the establishment “Rest.”

Finnrick rose his hand in surrender “After.”

“Never you mean!” Maddie shouted after him.

Amos Frye hadn’t changed much since last he was roaming around Finnrick’s neck of the woods: Handsome with soft gray eyes that reminded Finn of gathering storm clouds. His long black hair was tied in a messy bun held up by a golden pin, a braided strand hung loosely near his face. His beard was much shorter than what Finnrick remembered though he noted the unkempt split ends indicated that Amos hadn’t trimmed it in a few weeks. His iconic dark red sleeveless jerkin and black jean combination would look ridiculous on a lesser man but had allowed the monster hunter to show off his muscular frame. His brown skin was a bit more pale than usual so no doubt Amos had been operating at night lately.

“Finnrick, you cheeky bastard! I am so glad you came!” Amos beamed happily, his various bangles and bracelets clinking together in equally joyous celebration as the two shook hands.

“Amos! Happy to see you.” Finn beamed brightly as he slid into the booth across his old friend “Why though? Family trouble?”

Amos’s joyfully gleam turned dark for a moment.

“No. Have you…?”

Finnrick shook his head quickly “Not a word. Sorry, I hadn’t meant to…”

Amos waved the apology away “No worries cuz. I understand why you’d think that. Coming across the pond isn’t a spur of the moment thing and Os has always been the black sheep of the family. I suppose no news is good news.”

“Right.” Finnrick cleared his throat awkwardly “So what’s the trouble? I doubt you’d call me up for a nip and chat.”

“Rightly so.” Amos confirmed, reaching into the bag at his side and pulling out a folder “Hunting business as usual cuz.”

That made sense: Amos was the latest of a long family whose specialized business was monster hunting. The Fryes had been striking at things that went bump in the night for centuries ever since the first Frye defended the folk of some underground society.

Amos was an average wizard if Finnrick was being generous. That was not a slight against his old friend, it was a matter of fact: Amos spent most of his time honing the physical aspects of his profession which was obvious given the size of his arms. Any spells he knew were purely for defensive or preventive measures so he often communicated with Finnrick for higher quality and complex spellwork.

Finnrick took the folder from Amos and began pouring over its contents.

Most were quickly scrawled notes Amos had noticed about his quarry: Long sliver hairs, canine in nature. Large paw prints found in the areas it had been sighted, far too big to any natural wolf. Wulfvur and werewolf were hastily written and as quickly crossed out. A pattern of hanging out in wild areas, often forests and swamps.

There were pictures too: flashes of sliver, blurs of fangs and muzzles darting in and out of camera frame. It was always a distance away, sprinting deeper into the wildness. It was hard to tell from the photos but Finn guessed it might’ve been 10 feet tall at the very least.

“Why we hunting wolves now?” Finnrick asked curiously.

Amos flagged down the waitress “Contract given to my pa. It was hanging around the marsh lands of the jolly old isles. Someone wanted it gone.”

Something wasn’t clicking with Finn “and you followed it here? From England?”

“Nah cuz” Amos gave a cheeky grin “I tackled it through a portal and found I illegally crossed into America.”

“Ah.” Finnrick nodded in understanding “Fae.”

“Fae?” Amos frowned thoughtfully “I thought that too but I never heard of any snarling wolfie breaking into homes and snatching out wee younglings in them old folktales.”

“Fae are weird.” Finnrick shrugged “Their whole shtick is not making any sense. I had to expel a cat the size of a bus once. Double decker tall.”

Amos whistled in appreciation as he scratched his bread “So fae. Slippy fellow as you can tell. Whatcha recommend?”

“What’s the contract?”

“Banishment. It’s looking like wolfie ended up in the wrong part of town.”

“I think you mean next town over. Fixed a pattern yet?”

“Not yet but I wasn’t looking for one.” Amos admitted “Thought I was tracking some mutant. Fae changes a lot. Magical circles?”

“Easiest way to catch it.” Finnrick agreed “Sliver for sure. Iron would hurt it and based on your files, it hasn’t done anything than thin the local wildlife population. No need to anger mister big bad wolf.”

“Good call. I got some talent to handle a few circles but tracking is not really my speed.”

“I’m on a case but if you swing by the M.R.R.D, maybe they’ll loan you a wizard.”

Amos let out a disappointed sigh “I need to take care this sometime this year Finny. Bloody bureaucracy probably set me back a month at least.”

“There’s always Jaime but she’s pretty busy at work.”

“Jaime huh?” Amos smiled mischievously “I haven’t talked to your sister in a long time.”

“I will curse you.” Finnrick playfully threatened “And not no simple hex either. I’ll make you bald.”

Amos gasped dramatically, clutching at his hair protectively “You wouldn’t dare mate.”

“Shinier than the sun.”

“Okay, okay” Amos conceded “I’m kidding. She’s with Casey anyway. Good couple. Cute couple. He still hopelessly selfless and she still trying to fast track her way to power?”

“Yep.”

“You gonna fix that?”

Finnrick shook his head “It’s their lives. Their choices.”

“Idiots.” Amos chuckled “the lot of them.”

“All you need is love?”

“Spoken true the gospel of my land.”

-----

A few hours later with a brainstorm session completed and a promise to help out the next day, Finnrick left Amos to his work and continued with his own.

It was noon now and as the sun rose high in the sky, Finnrick found himself at the Grimyard.

The Grimyard was the premiere spot for all things magical in Newton Haven: Rows and rows of shops specifically catering to the magic community. The streets were paved with century old cobblestone and the buildings here were various hues of faded brick and mortar. It was easy to get lost in the Grimyard if it was your first time as the Grimyard did not spread out, it stacked downward. Layers upon layers of the Grimyard were actually underground to allow those with issues against the sun to sell their goods and services at all times of the day. Don’t let the dark fool you, anyone with worthy talent or product was here in the Grimyard.

Normally Finnrick would wander around a bit, checking out the various businesses and protective wards around the mile long patch of land but he was on the clock and the sooner he began to figure out what was going on, the sooner he could stop it.

Luckily for him, his destination was right here on the top floor of the marketplace. Specifically furthest back corner.

Knightly Ore was ran by the Knight family. Originally they only sold rare metals and ores which were necessary components for some of the more complicated magicks. At some point the owners expanded into selling more alchemical materials and eventually brewing potions, salves and such for a fee.

Despite decent business, it was the most rundown building in this part of the Grimyard: Broken window shudders with the paint faded down to the original shade when the business first opened decades ago. The humble black door was crooked and creaked whenever it moved

Finnrick knew the owners fairly well but here wasn’t here for them. He was here to see their son.

He pushed past the building, ducking into the alley that led to the lot directly behind the shop.

“Halt!” A voice called out “Who seeks the Brewmaster of the Grimyard?”

“It is I, Finnrick the detective. I got money and I need work done”

The Brewmaster was Theodore Knight, an incredibly talented alchemist who didn’t have the same opportunities Finnrick did: He was pretty tall for his age (14 or 15, Finnrick lost track once or twice) but clearly a teenager given his short lavender hair had a few strands dyed red. His eyes were an unnatural pale blue, paler than the blue of the sky. He wore the usual attire Finn often found him in: A sleeveless dark blue hoodie with a fist sized red gem clasped in front just under his neck and a lighter shade blue t-shirt. He wore black finger-less gloves gripping his brown messenger bag slung around his shoulder. A matching brown pouch hung around the waist of his gray cargo shorts and his brown boots were kept clean despite his place of business was in an alley behind his parents shop.

Theo jumped out from a hidden shadowy corner of the lot “Finn, whatcha got for me now?”

Finnrick reached into his pocket, showing the eager teen the vial that held blacken dust within.

“That’s it?” Theo scoffed, rolling his eyes “I was expecting something…...cooler.”

He took the vial and raised it to the sun. Theo gave it a rough shake and watched it carefully for any properties the strange substance would display.

Theo frowned, clearly unsatisfied by what he saw “You brought me ash? Plain ash? It’s your money but even I think it’s a waste.”

“It’s ash?”

Theo shot the detective a look that screamed how obvious it should’ve been “Yes, ash. Thicker than what I’ve seen but ash all the same.”

Finnrick bit his cheek thoughtfully.

“Look Finn, you know my rates. I dunno what you want me to do but standard fees apply.”

“I’ll paying double.”

The Brewmaster’s eyes narrowed suspiciously “Double for ash? What’s so special about it?”

“Oh nothing." Finnrick pretended to look disinterested “Aside it was taken directly from a crime scene: Necromancy and cast via a half melted spell circle.”

It took Theo a minute to allow the implications of what Finnrick said to sink in. His eyes shifted from suspicion to wild excitement.

“Really?!” Theo clutched the vial like it was his first born child “Necromancy really doesn’t like many alchemy processes. It’s not going to be easy for me.”

“I know right?” Finnrick grinned impishly “It’s almost like I’m going to have to pay double for it.”

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to….” Theo pouted unhappily “Ha freaking ha. Okay smart guy, pay up.”

Finnrick handed over 50 gold. Theo took it eagerly, his eyes lightening up with glee.

Theo paused for a moment, his face turning oddly serious for a teenager.

“It might take me awhile depending on what you want.”

“I want to know what’s in it. Necromancy requires specific ingredients. After that it’ll be easier to track the seller.”

“And the buyer!” Theo blurted out excitedly “Smart.”

Finnrick ruffled his hair playfully “I wish I thought of it. You keep this up and you’re going to run me out of business.”

“I’ll text you when I have something.”

“Pleasure as always Theo.”

“It’s Brewmaster.”

-----

It was 2 in the afternoon when Finnrick made his way back to the Salt-Iron. He stood outside the complex, tossing the remains of his pizza into his waiting maw and crumpling the can of soda he was drinking before tucking into his coat pocket.

“What’s this?” Finnrick asked, utterly confused by the crushed foam cup he pulled from within “Oh right my coffee. I’ve been really at today.”

Finnrick wiped his hands clean and made his way inside the Salt-Iron once more, mulling over the details of the case as he ascended up the stairway.

Blacken ash cast by a spell circle. Both father and son missing with no indication where they went too. Recluses and rarely seen. Necromancy within a threshold.

It was hard to tell how deeply the father and son were involved in spell. Someone who had access to the apartment was behind it no doubt. Spell circles were the most consistent way to cast magic but they took time to build, set and channel energy. You didn’t build a spell circle without knowing exactly what you plan to do with it.

The nature of the magic was also a mystery: Dark magic had various applications and not a single one was good. Finnrick hadn’t much experience with that branch of magic but there was nothing logical about the aftereffects: Ash spread throughout the apartment, clinging to everything like a second skin. There was no signs of an outward blast given that nothing bent in the same direction. Everything in that room decided to twist in whatever wayit felt like. If the spell was supposed to draw in something then chair legs and wall tiles would’ve been pulled directly towards the circle.

“Curiouser and curiouser Alice” Finnrick spoke to no one in particular.

He was on the fifth floor when he noticed something odd.

Finnrick raised an eyebrow as the skies outside the window darken, black and stormy.

A thunderstorm it seems.

Finnrick peered out the window, glancing upwards to see what was going on.

Dark clouds swirled directly overhead. Rain began to lightly drizzle as the skies boomed. Thunder and a moment later lightning trailing across the gathering storm.

A thunderstorm that formed directly above this building.

Without warning.

“Well that’s not ominous.”

Finnrick made the mistake of leaning closer to the window, peering around to see if he could see where exactly the storm was coming from when it happened.

“Watch out below!”

Finnrick noticed three things in that moment: First, was of course, someone shouting to watch out below. Second was the distant sound of claws scratching something wooden, the walls perhaps. Lastly was the thudding of something falling down quickly and towards him.

Finnrick rose his hand, pivoting on his heels in time to see something crash into him.

It wasn’t much of a contest: Both Finnrick and whatever slammed into him broke through the fifth story window and went sprawling into a freefall.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

                                                 *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading! 

                                              previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter 

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint). 

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was fucked. 

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked. 

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created. 

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N. 

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach. 

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true. 

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late” 

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior. 

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck” 

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that” 

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?” 

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit. 

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town” 

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity” 

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?” 

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one” 

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby” 

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’. 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid” 

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you” 

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her. 

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp. 

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked 

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering. 

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch. 

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

                                                  -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[omg-imagine]

Forget Me Not (Part 12/15)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Angst, language

A/N: Kinda nervous posting again since it’s been a while, but we’re winding down to the end of this story with only three more parts to go (2 chapters + an epilogue). As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy!

Part 11

Home.

You are home. It’s supposed to be home.

But it wasn’t. To you, it couldn’t be. 

This place feels too far from home, too foreign. You had no memories of it, no recollection of the safety and security it offers. Not even the faintest remembrance of the laughter, smiles, and tears; the fondness and the sadness these four walls have witnessed over the years. 

You can’t call it home. You don’t know where home is, and you’re not sure you have one anymore. 

Not after leaving him behind.

It’s cold and dark when you first wake, sleep weighing heavily in your eyes. A pair of curtains block out the sun from filtering into the room, leaving you to wonder if you had slept through half the day. With a yawn, you stretch, the bed underneath creaking as your body fully rouses from yet another night of fitful slumber. Almost a month back in New York, and it doesn’t make sense to keep blaming your lack of energy on the time difference.

The ache is still ever-present. The pain caused by the void in your heart remains, sharply throbbing in your chest with its refusal to go away. Two heartbreaks, two betrayals, occurring five years apart, but it feels as though not much time has passed in-between. 

It hurts to ponder about it, that evening when your seemingly perfect little world came crashing down. Hiding behind rose-tinted glasses, you were unknowingly tricked, fully caught up in a well-crafted illusion. His illusion. Love has blinded you to the sad reality, and in the end, it left you a shattered mess, a hollow shell of your former self.

You doubt you’ll ever be whole again.

Forcing yourself out from under the covers, you reach for your phone on the nightstand to check the time before scrolling through your notifications. Nothing was of interest to you, fortunately; you didn’t have the energy to respond to those you suddenly abandoned. Friends who cared about you but realized you were never close to them. Not in the way it used to be.

As you skimmed over the new texts and emails, you then came across his now unsaved number. The moment you stepped on the plane, you deleted his contact from your phone and blocked him. Yet the last messages he sent to you were still there and haven’t been read since, though you already knew what they could entail—

I’m sorry.

It was never my intention to hurt you.

Please give me another chance.

Let me fix this.

Just come back, Y/N. Come back home.

Home. There was that damn word again. You were beginning to loathe it, even more so knowing that whenever you think of home, you wind up thinking of him.

The last time you saw him was the morning after the storm. Booking a one-way ticket back to the east coast, you then spent the early hours packing as many clothes that would fit in a single suitcase. Tears had long since dried up, having none left as you headed down the stairs, ignoring the look he gave you from afar.

He was dressed in the outfit he had on the night prior; his hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and it was quite obvious he endured no sleep. Your resolve nearly crumbles as your gazes connect, bodies close enough that he could reach out the slightest bit, and he’d be holding your hand in the palm of his. 

Fighting the urge, you didn’t cave in. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for it—for him. 

No, never again.

As expected, he followed you out of the house, remaining quiet as he watched the cab driver load your luggage in the trunk. You paid him no attention when he approached the vehicle once you climbed in, wanting nothing more than to escape this nightmare. With nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, you decided it was best to leave California, not that you belonged there anyway.

It played out like a scene from a movie—the taxi pulling out of the driveway slowly as the raindrops started to fall. Hearing him call out your name, his voice cracking with each syllable, made you hesitate for a beat. Perhaps you could forgive him, you had thought in that split-second. Forgive and forget; let what happened in the past stay in the past. 

But even if you did, the pain’s still there, and it was overpowering. This pain resulting from his deception had been too consuming, too unbearable to move on.

You told the driver to hurry as you couldn’t afford to miss your flight.

The atmosphere in the car was fraught with grim silence. As the house sequestered in the hills vanishes in the rearview mirror, you knew you were running away from it all. You couldn’t stand being here in LA, where every turn, every corner, and every street reminds you of a life that wasn’t truly yours. 

As idyllic it once was, you wanted no part of it anymore. Instead, you sought for familiarity, the life you used to have, the one you could only remember. 

What you thought was your real home.

Unable to hold it in any longer, you had broken down in the backseat, never feeling more alone than you did at that moment.

You wish you could forget, but it’s not that easy. It’s never easy. Memories of him linger in your mind, still tragically fresh as they haunt you day in and day out. Closing your eyes, you could see him wearing this smile that used to make your stomach flutter. You came to love his smile the same way you had loved him wholly. 

Now? Seeing it was a stab to the heart—a reminder of how he took advantage of your condition, your vulnerability. Of every lie you were fed. That smile, the one you previously hoped to wake up to for the rest of your life, had been an act, a facade. 

Everything had been a facade.

A sudden knock on the door startles you, and you clicked off the phone screen before announcing to whoever that they could come in. Your mother Nancy enters soon after, her face displaying concern when she realizes you had just woken up. She’s silent as she walks towards the window and then pushes the curtains aside, the sunlight outside immediately washing over the room. 

Briefly, you squint to adjust to the brightness, a confirmation that it was past noon already—another wasted day.

“Hey, darling,” she speaks softly as she moves to sit on the mattress beside you. “How are you doing?”

There’s no point in lying, but as much as you greatly appreciated her caringness, you didn’t want to burden her with your problems. They were yours to deal with and yours alone. 

“Better.” And that, you were. Just a week ago, you finally stopped crying yourself to sleep. “I might even go out tomorrow and look for a job. Can’t keep freeloading under your roof, right?”

You release a half-chuckle, a small attempt to lighten up the mood. It was comforting when your mother cracks a smile in response.

“Oh, hush. You’re always welcome to stay as long as you need to,” she assures, a loving warmth radiating from her tone. 

Lips pressing together, you sense that she has another thing to address. “What’s wrong?”

Nancy pauses to take a breath, shoulders rising and falling. For some reason, you’re on edge, finding yourself bracing for what was to come.

“Have you spoken to Keanu lately?”

Upon hearing his name, you swallowed away the lump in your throat. After telling your parents what had transpired, it stirred up various emotions—mainly anger from your father, sorrow from your mom. Their hearts sank as you recounted the story, tears blurring your eyes that you couldn’t see their faces. It was a good thing, however; you probably wouldn’t have reached the end.

Since then, they’ve refrained from speaking of him and to him. He’s called the house on a few occasions but could never get past the automated answering machine. Pictures of the two of you hanging on the walls were taken down shortly after the revelation, and you were unsure of who had done it. 

Your parents still couldn’t believe he was capable of such a thing. He had played them the same way you were, twisting the truth and omitting facts. Painting himself in a way that made them think allowing you to stay with him was the best decision when just months before he treated you as if you didn’t matter. 

As if he didn’t love you.

“No.” Curt, you had nothing else to say. 

“He’s a persistent one, I’ll tell you that. Left another message last night,” Nancy comments, feeling her stare as you fiddled with the hands in your lap. The next time she speaks, it’s slow and controlled. She’s careful with her words, wary of how you would react to what she has to say. “Hon, the last time you were here, you told me something. Something that I probably should have mentioned the day you woke up in the hospital.”

You tense, eyes flickering up to hers. “What is it?”

She sighs deeply, her smile fleeting and replaced by a taut frown. “I knew you and Keanu were having… problems. Not the full story, but enough that told me you’ve been unhappy for a while.”

“W-Why didn’t you bring this up then?”

“Because the second I saw him in your hospital room, I could see how much he loves you. How scared he was at the thought of nearly losing you—”

“Pfft, sure he was,” you scoff at the statement in disbelief. “What he did—you don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t lie to them, betray them. Hell, if you had given me a heads up earlier, then it would have saved me all this trouble.”

“Y/N—”

“Don’t you get it? He’s an actor. Of course, he’s good at playing pretend. Got us all believing that things were all sunshine and rainbows. He fucked up and fucked up even more by lying. I’ve always had a bad track record in relationships, so I shouldn’t have been too surprised.”

Tension hangs thickly in the air, an apology murmured at the end of a passing second. You didn’t mean to snap at your mother, to let the anger and betrayal consume you that you began taking it out on others although unwillingly. 

But you were just too goddamn hurt. Every day, the memories are suffocating you despite constantly wishing and pleading for them to disappear. That life, the one you had with Keanu, no longer exists, and yet you were still holding onto the frayed remains of it, not ready to move on—to let go. 

You grieve. You grieve and mourn for the recent past, the happiness and love you experienced in the time you were left unaware. Never have you felt so complete, so content, and much at ease. You had turned a blind eye to the signs, to the small inklings of doubt brewing inside because you thought that there was no way you could get something else as close to this.

Perhaps you were both to blame after all.

“I thought he was different,” you whisper, sorrow flowing from your words. “I thought he was the one. The man I’d settle down with, marry, and then maybe someday, be the father of my kids. We’d build an entire life together, a family, a future. The kind of life where I could look back on it fifty years from now when we’re old and gray and not regret a single thing.”

Feeling your mother’s hand come on top of yours with a light squeeze, you fought off the tears forcing their way from your eyes. You swore you would never shed a tear for Keanu ever again, but you are crumbling from within. The weak walls you put up are now tumbling down, leaving you even more vulnerable than before. 

“I want to hate him. I want him to feel my pain and suffer through it, knowing that he’s the reason why. But I can’t. Somehow, I just can’t.”

“It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him,” Nancy adds solemnly, and you nod shakily. “You’re healing, dear. So far, all you’ve done is put on a bandaid, but it doesn’t mean the wound closes up immediately. It’ll burn, it’ll bleed, and it’ll ache, and right now, that’s what you’re feeling; the pain of a fresh open wound.”

“Make the pain stop,” you mumbled incoherently as you lean against your mom’s side, wet cheeks pressed to her shoulder. “It has to stop.”

“And it will,” she promises, listening to your soft and tired cries. “It’ll take time for the wound to heal, but eventually, it will. Until then, life continues, and you would have to as well. You don’t have to go all-in right away, but don’t let this heartbreak hinder you from living, sweetie. You’re strong, and I believe you will feel that same happiness again, in one form or another. But you won’t find it unless you go out and look for it.”

For the first time in what seemed like a while, you felt something other than loss and despair. It creeps into you slowly, half-expecting a cold, crushing weight to fall heavily on your chest rather than the warmth and light it is. But as quickly as it came, the sensation subsides, a wave of loneliness, emptiness filling the vacant space surrounding your heart.

A shuddering breath released, you then reflect upon what your mother said about time and how time heals all wounds. You wonder how much time is needed until you can finally break free from the remnants of the past and breathe again. Could be days, weeks, or even months more, but it’s right there, waiting for you on the horizon. 

You may not have a place to call home, but what you do have is time.

---

Seconds turn into minutes; minutes turn into hours. The sun sets, the moon rises; bright, blues skies bleed into a fiery red before dimming to an inky darkness. The world spins on its axis as people wake, move, then sleep, and the cycle begins all over again.

Two weeks have come and gone, and life pushes onward. You could tell by the scenery outside where the season of fall has taken charge of the Northeast. Days are shorter, with nights stretching out longer as the year fades into winter. Time was flying by at a brisk pace. Very soon, a blanket of snow will cover the ground you walk on, reminding you to take a step back and admire the natural beauty of mid-November.

The crispness of the late afternoon air is refreshing as it fills your lungs, a welcome change from the hazy summer heat. Leaves that were once lively shades of green are now painted in deep hues of amber and burgundy, and they crunch beneath your boots with each leisure step down the earthy path. The nearby lake is as pristine as ever, sparkling freely underneath the rays of the ochre sun as it waits for the impending frost.

Wandering about outdoors for hours now, you were lost in your stream of thoughts. You honestly felt better, not entirely mended, but just enough that you can step out of the house and explore the quaint little town. A picturesque place, it was a perfect settlement for your retired parents where everyone knew everybody; their faces, names, the street they lived on. Boilding down to more personal details such as knowing the pets they owned, which book club they’re a part of, and any recent travels. 

When the townsfolk saw you, you sensed the feeling of familiarity. Those you passed by in the streets waved at you, and though you couldn’t exactly recall your relationship with them, it made you smile. Recently, old friends and family in the area had begun reaching out after hearing you were back. You never gave them the full explanation, only revealing that things in California did not work out, and you figured it was best to leave. 

Was it a permanent decision? Most likely. Life here is simpler, quieter. You enjoyed the peacefulness, favoring the calm atmosphere of this town much over the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. It gave you space to think, to focus, to breathe. To reacquaint with yourself, rebuild who you are as a person by taking this journey of self-discovery. 

It’s the brand new start you desperately wanted, needed. An opportunity to find your place in this world without the past holding you back. Without the shadow of the woman you once were looming over you. And if your memories don’t ever return, which deep down, you hope they never would, you would be fine with it. 

You were tired of being stuck searching pieces of the past. You had to live.

Trekking up the gravel road leading to your parents’ home, a black car sits on top of the hill, one that you did not recognize. Perplexed, you approached the house with hesitant steps, dragging your feet through the pile of dead and dry leaves. There was a moment of panic when you noticed a man sitting on the front porch steps, hands clasped on his knees as he hung his head low, a curtain of dark hair masking his identity.

But you don’t need to think twice, for you already know who it is.

“Keanu?”

His name slipping out of your mouth feels different now. Gone is the affectionate tone that it was usually spoken in. It held no meaning, void of any warmth or tenderness. Keanu, the name is bitter on your tongue, a poison that could cause you to spiral down yet again, and saying it out loud brought upon a rage that swirls through your veins.

How dare he show up here unannounced?

As you take your breaths, one… two… three... and out, Keanu straightens his posture and meets your stern glare. Slowly, he gets up, the expression on his face hard to read. But aside from that, he looked worse for wear. The bags underneath his eyes were dark and prominent, the beard on his chin was unruly and untamed. He appears gaunt and exhausted, as if he hasn’t slept a wink ever since you walked out of the door and out of his life.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You’re the first to break the thick silence, a testament of your bravery and strength of some sort. Brows furrowing and teeth gritting in anger, it contrasts with Keanu’s lax demeanor as he steps closer. “No, stay back. You have no right to be here right now.”

“Y/N, please...” He speaks calmly, each and every one of his movements measured. “I’m not here to fight—”

“I have nothing to say to you,” you seethed, shaking your head as you stormed past him and towards the door. Tears brew in your cloudy eyes, a sign of how much he still affected you. Seeing him again after all this time only proved that the wound he had inflicted bleeds to this day.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Keanu quickly trails from behind, his voice dripping with utter desperation. “Please, just… give me a chance to talk. All you have to do is listen, and I promise you won’t ever have to see me again.”

The seriousness in his timbre causes you to halt in your tracks. Swallowing dryly, you turn around, sad, tired eyes reaching his guilt-filled ones. Keanu stands before you with a face written in despair, making him barely recognizable. The way he’s staring at you as if he’s hopeless and in pure anguish is unsettling, and you almost pitied him for it. 

“Y/N…” He pleads softly, defeatedly. “Hear me out, please.”

You wrestled between your options, half apathetic, half curious of what Keanu had to say. Unspoken words on the tip of his tongue, he mutely begs for you to relent, and if this is all it takes for him to leave you alone, leave you for good, then so be it.

“Ten minutes,” you muttered, low enough that he barely catches it at first. Crossing your arms against your chest, the gentle autumn wind rustling through the trees pierces the silent air as you observe Keanu staggering forward, a hand rubbing at the nape of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he begins, gazing at you with his searching brown eyes. “I-I know saying it a thousand times won’t make a difference, but I really am sorry. What I did before and after the accident was inexcusable and selfish. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself that. Don’t expect you to do so, either. You probably hate my guts right now, and flying out here might be a mistake, but I needed to talk to you in person. To say goodbye one last time.”

Brushing his hair back, Keanu then pads over to the trunk of the car, and all you can do is wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long, but he makes two trips to unload two boxes, setting each of them down in the space separating you two. He instantly notices the confusion etched across your features, burying his hands in his coat pocket with an exhale.

“Are those—”

“All the things you left behind,” Keanu finishes feebly. “Thought you would want them back.”

Stunned, a mirthless chuckle escapes your throat. “You didn’t have to do this. Those aren’t my things anyway.”

“But they are—”

“They’re not mine,” you cut him off with a weary gaze. “Keanu, I’ve said this before; I’m not the woman you fell in love with. Not anymore. Look, throughout those months we spent together, I tried to fit into this life everyone told me I had. A life that’s far from what I was used to. God, it feels like a dream being her. So confident, happy, and successful. Waking up from the coma, of course, I would want that. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship which left me broken and unworthy of anything and anyone. Then you showed me the love I thought I didn’t deserve, and it kept me from realizing that it was all too good to be true.”

Eyes faltering to the ground, your fingers fumbled with the hem of your sweater, ultimately distracting yourself from the tears threatening to fall. “The truth is, I didn’t know you. You were, are, a stranger to me. You had done things behind my back, hid details that would have been a deal-breaker, but you didn’t care. I’ve thought about it a lot lately; would I have stayed if you told me from the very beginning. I wasn’t sure if I was madder at you kissing someone else, knowing how much it would hurt me, or the fact that you lied to fix this—us.”

There is a moment of silence that weighs over everything. The wind stops blowing; the leaves are motionless. Time seems to slow around you and Keanu as he waits for your next words. Words that you are still searching for since you hadn’t prepared to voice those thoughts out loud. They all came rushing, flooding like a broken dam, too overwhelming to keep at bay. 

“Which one is it?” Keanu probes delicately, equally afraid of which answer you’re going to give.

“Neither,” you revealed, surprisingly. “I’m angrier at myself for falling too fast; for being the naive little girl who let herself be fooled, who refused to listen to her instincts even though she knew they were usually right.”

You see Keanu open his mouth to speak, but you weren’t done. “I always believed this accident was a curse. It erased years worth of memories that, at this point, I’ll never get back. But now, I see the good that came out of it. Our fights, our arguments, they were all signs that our relationship was falling apart, but I couldn’t let go of it—of you. I held onto us thinking the bad will just phase out eventually when in reality, I couldn’t bear giving up on you and this life we shared.”

Another pause. “Huh, funny. Looking at it, the same thing happened all over again.”

With that said, you felt relieved, somewhat lighter. Despite previous inclinations, you didn’t shout or yell at Keanu. Nor did you discuss to the fullest extent of the suffering you’ve endured. Strangely, it was nearly therapeutic admitting all of that to him, to yourself. For months, you had been unable to let go and accept the truth, allowing fear and doubt to control your actions. 

But that was then, and this is now. 

And now, it was time for you to be free.

“Guess this is it,” Keanu sighs dejectedly. He didn’t come here to win you back, knowing there’s nothing that he could do or say to repair the damage. Like you, he’s letting go, letting this be the closure he needs, and you need as well. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, “Guess this is goodbye.”

Before you could leave his sight to spare Keanu the awkwardness, he holds up a finger, signaling you to wait a second. Swiftly, he goes to retrieve something that’s lying on the front seat, something that you’ve spent countless hours flipping through. He then reluctantly passes it over to you, and you’re unsure what to do with it.

“Your pictures,” he points out, though you were already aware. “I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything by giving this, but this book is yours. Keep it, burn it, do whatever seems right to you. But I want you to know, to remember, that I did love you. I still do, and these photos are proof of it, even if you can’t bring yourself to believe that I’m telling the truth. You deserve love and to be loved, Y/N. More than anything in the universe. I fucked up my chance to be the one to tell you that every day, but it doesn’t mean the next person you fall for will.”

“Ke…” your voice suddenly breaks with emotion, uncertain of what to add after his statement. It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him, your mother’s earlier words echo in your mind, ringing true in your heart. Even after everything, a piece of you still loved Keanu, and saying goodbye to him more painful than you anticipated.

As you stand frozen, Keanu inches nearer until he’s by your feet, the palm of his hand coming to rest on your cheek. He strokes your face with a tender caress before tilting your chin upwards to meet his gaze, brushing his thumb along your lower lip gently. You allow him to have this moment, to hold you and study you for a final time, commit you to memory as this would be the last. 

Eyes fluttering shut, you feel him press a soft kiss on your forehead, the warmth of it immediately spreading throughout your body before he slowly pulls away.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N,” Keanu says, opening the driver’s side door of his rental. You look at each other once more and see the subtle, hopeful smile he shoots your way. “And don’t be afraid to love again.”

You watch as he starts driving away, opting to wait until the car is finally out of view before releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

In your hands is a keepsake of your memories. A collection of captured moments that you had cherished so dearly. But things are different now; mistakes were made, words were said, people have grown apart. You found no reason to linger in the past when there’s nothing left to salvage. 

Nothing left to do but heal.

The warmth of Keanu’s kiss eventually disappears, the world around you unpausing, continuing as it was before. You stay standing in place, glancing back and forth between the book you clutched on tightly and the boxes laying on the ground. 

Yet in the quietude, the wind still blows. The leaves still fall, and the earth still spins.

Time resumes, bit by bit; passing for life to move forward— 

For you to move on.

Part 13

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer​ @fanficsrusz​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee​ @ringa-starr​ @ficsnroses​ @iworshipkeanureeves​ @keandrews​ @greenmanalishi​ @feminine-machinegun​ @thehumanistsdiary​ @lilyette​​ @rdjloverxxx @flaminasteroid @danceoftwowolves @ravenpuff02 @wheretheriversrunintothesea​​ @breakthenight​​ @allie1804-fan​​ @partypoison00​​

[sope-and-shine]

Lost and Found

-> Namjoon x Reader -> Soulmate!AU // Fluff -> 6.2k (This fic was at 6,199 before post, and I couldn’t let that happen) -> Summary: In a world full of soulmates and soul marks, you just had to get stuck with the dynamic duo. -> Warning(s): none // maybe just fluff

A/N: I suggested the name to Belle as I was drafting the post, and she said she’d sue me if I didn’t use it.

ALSO! A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO BOTH @multycoloredtaco​ and @purpletigertaetae​ for reading this and giving me some really good feedback! I love you both SO MUCH!

* * *

Soulmates have always come in several different shapes and sizes. They’ve always appeared to each other in various ways. Your mother and father met by their own personal song that only the two knew of, one that played when they spared a thought to the other. Your aunt had found your uncle with a timer on her wrist, and your grandpa had the unfortunate fate of meeting your grandmother while catcalling her. According to him, it was a very eventful day, but at least her words to him finally made sense. Everyone in your family - besides your great aunt who hasn’t aged since the late 1890s - has had the amazing luck of finding their soulmate. Not everyone gets the luxury of being with their soulmate how they planned to. You’re actually friends with a shop owner who lost his soulmate about a year ago and hasn’t seen any color since. You honestly couldn’t imagine the pain he’s been through. Thankfully, your soulmate mark was not as painful.

It was just extremely annoying.

As a child, you never questioned the items that would appear in your room, thinking of them as odd gifts that your parents or your brother would leave for you. You were no stranger to finding a single sock under your bed, the occasional candy bar tucked away in your backpack, or the odd action figure that you would take to your brother thinking it was his. It wasn’t until the first homework assignment with ‘Kim Namjoon’ scrawled at the top that you began to think something wasn’t right. And that was only the beginning of what was to come. 

As the years went by, more and more random items began appearing in your room at your parents house, your dorm in college, and finally your very own apartment. Each item you placed in boxes under your bed as a way to keep a piece of him with you until you could find him. However, you never imagined how forgetful and chaotic your soulmate could really be. You have everything! Clothing items, more homework assignments, various books, glasses, baby photos, and you even have a random girl’s phone number! You were tempted to call her when you first found it, but you figured that would be too weird. Instead, you continued to organize everything under your bed in hopes of giving it all back to him when you would finally meet.

Of course, you were a victim to your soulmate mark as well. Many jewelry items had disappeared from your room without a trace as a result. Hoodies, stuffed animals, and even a bra that you could’ve sworn you put in your gym bag - part of you hoped he’d hide it away because not only was it a cute bra, it was also expensive. Recently though, you’ve both been a lot more responsible. You haven’t seen any new items appear in your apartment for almost a month, and with your soulmates track record of losing 11 items in one day, a month was a huge record on his part. But you were starting to miss the gifts that would give you clues to him.

After you found out what your soulmate mark really was, you started looking forward to what would be left in your room next. Of course, it wasn’t always a win on your part, and sometimes what he lost was very questionable, but it always made you laugh when another item appeared in your room. At first, it was weird to think about someone else’s stuff appearing in your room with no prior warning, but it made you feel special to know that he was ultimately giving you pieces of himself every time he let something out of his sight. They made your long days more bearable. It makes you wonder if he’s the type of person to shower you with gifts when you feel upset or just to show his affection when he felt it was necessary. Especially on a rough day like today.

There was nothing wrong with your job, you loved everything about it! Life as a lead optician was actually a very rewarding job in the end. Helping others choose the best glasses for their face and individual personalities was one of your favorite parts, you loved watching little old ladies try on vibrant, colorful frames to feel youthful. They’re always very excited to see clearly again. Then there are all the little kids who would sit down with you to get glasses for the first time, and the look on their faces when they finally got to see the world clearly was heartwarming. Their soft smiles and wide eyes filled with amazement always made you feel a little softer inside. However, not everyday was a good day, and today was really not a good day.

Everything was going perfectly fine until the 3:30 appointment showed up at 5:00 after the doctor had already left for the day and demanded to be seen. The doctor’s technician was so scared trying to explain to the patient that they’d have to reschedule their appointment, and the poor thing was just trying not to cry over the one person who couldn’t understand how society works. Obviously, as the lead optician on duty you took over, but this patient was one of the most inconsiderate people you’d ever had to deal with. Demanding to be seen, demanding to buy glasses with an old prescription, demanding to speak to a manager - which at this point was actually you, so done and done - and just cursing up a storm at you and your fellow coworkers who all tried to help explain. The whole ordeal just took way longer than it ever should have to deal with, and it probably took at least 25 years off of your life. 

“Why do people feel that they need to be rude to get what they want?” Soohyun had asked you, “Do they think it’ll just magically fix everything?” 

You had agreed, “It’s like they think you’re really just messing with them. Like, “Oh no, sir! You’re correct! I apologize for the inconvenience, let me pull that out of my ass for you!” Though maybe not appropriate for the work environment, you’d at least made her day just a little better with your humor. 

On days like today, a nice warm shower and a cuddle pile with all of the pillows and plushies that cover your bed made everything much better when nothing new appeared in your room. If the odd gifts the universe left from your soulmate couldn’t cheer you up, then you’d do it yourself. And that you did. Nothing felt better than the warm water washing away the day’s pain and suffering, the delicate fragrance of the coconut shampoo you splurged on easing your worries down the drain. The floral body lotion and leave-in-conditioner you’d bought on the same shopping excursion also help your body relax, their scents so intoxicating to you, that you almost topple over onto the tiled floor of your bathroom from the instant pleasure they pull from you. Instead, you make your way to your bed, adorned in your comfiest PJs and fluffiest socks.

However, you weren’t expecting to land on something so hard and uncomfortable when you plopped face first onto your sheets.

“What the heck?” Pushing yourself onto your knees and pulling back the covers, you find a small, golden trophy resting comfortably in the warmth of your sheets. On all sides it reads, ‘MNET Asian Music Awards’ with a small plaque reading, ‘2017 MNET Asian Music Awards: Artist of the Year’ at the bottom of one side. It takes you a moment to understand fully what you hold in your hands before it actually hits you.

Your soulmate is an idol.

A forgetful idol if he lost such an important award, but at least this gave you a lead as to who your soulmate is besides one of the most common surnames and a few measly pairs of mismatched socks.  

Setting the award to the side, you grab your phone from your nightstand and unlock it, clicking on your browser and typing away. You look up the artist of the year from 2017 and find the top result to be a boy band called BTS. According to Google’s nice little summary and AllKPOP’s top article, they seemed to be pretty famous. Of course, you’ve heard of them before, and if you heard one of their songs then there was a good chance you’d probably recognize it! But you’ve never really been one for boy bands. You were more into kdramas if you were to be completely honest, they’re definitely your guilty pleasure and way more your speed than handsome young men dancing on stage in front of screaming girls trying to get in their pants. Could you really blame them? No. Not at all. Given the chance, you’d take it, but it wouldn’t be anything special if it wasn’t your soulmate.

Your soulmate.

Namjoon.

Changing your question, you search for ‘Kim Namjoon BTS’. If he actually pops up, then that would mean you actually know who he is. 

Finding the nerve to press search, you are bombarded with three pictures above a description of him right off the bat - You hate to admit it, but soulmate or not, he’s definitely handsome. You click on a random site you hope will give you some useful information about the man who’s most likely your soulmate and are immediately redirected to something called K-Profiles. The site itself starts off with a group picture of all the members, followed by their names below it, and their social media handles under that. You’d have to look them up later.

The first member you come across is your soulmate himself. He has his blonde head resting on top of his arms with a soft, dimpled smile as he stares right back at the camera. Eyes locked onto his through the screen, you can feel your heart speeding up just from looking at him. You can’t help but smile back at him as if he can actually see you. As if he were right there ready to come out and say ‘hi’. 

He’s absolutely breathtaking, and it isn’t even him.

You continue your hunting, scrolling further down to learn as much as you can about him. How old he is, when he was born, where he was born, what his favorite color is, you want to know it all! You learn that he’s the leader of the group, that he used to be known as Rap Monster before he changed it - that USB in the box under your bed made a lot more sense now. You learn that he has a sister, and that he and his band members are advocates for UNICEF, and that this man was so incredibly intelligent yet also known as the ‘god of destruction’ to those around him. But also listed on his profile is his soulmate mark. 

“As said in a V-Live where RM explained a stuffed animal he kept on his desk, anything RM loses will appear with his soulmate and vice-versa. He has yet to meet his soulmate.” You read. You’ve lost quite a few stuffed animals to Namjoon, hopefully, it wasn’t an embarrassing one that would haunt you later.

You come to the end of his profile and to the top of another handsome man, yet you don’t scroll down. You haven’t learned enough. You need to know more about him, about how you can meet him. You have to know more! And that’s how you find yourself still up at 5am the next morning still wide awake watching yet another video interview of your soulmate just to hear his voice. A part of you is embarrassed for staying awake all night for some guy, but another part of you can’t let it go when you’re so deep already. 

* * *

You called into work after your late night-early morning escapade, telling them you caught something from one of your friends and wouldn’t be in for the next few days. There was no way you were going anywhere with the sleep you just got, and it wouldn’t be fixed in one day either. Even after sleeping the morning away you were still tired from your late night-early morning endeavor. It’s not like you really cared though, you had just found out who your soulmate was. And unlike a lot of other people in the world, you had an entire collection of videos dedicated to just your soulmate and his passion.

It didn’t take long for you to dig your nose back into the screen of your phone just to watch him make that gorgeous, dimpled smile. There were so many videos where he talked about you, sharing some of the items you had lost with his fans like they were his best friends. He looked so proud to be showing off your things, and the look in his eyes when he’d get lost in his own thoughts just looking at them made your heart melt.

You’d heard your mom and dad talk about how happy they were to have a special song just for the two of them. Your mom used to tell you all about the day your father tracked her all the way from the grocery store, pushing through the crowd like a love interest in a kdrama because he heard her humming their song to herself. At a young age you always thought it was sweet and wanted to meet your soulmate just like your mom had, but you eventually realized as you got older that a strange person following you home is not something you want. However, now you kinda wished it could work like that, seeing that your soulmate was practically untouchable. 

Of all the people in the world, you just had to get stuck with a celebrity with millions of girls from all over the world fawning over him. Getting chased in the streets must be on this guy’s workout regimen by now! How were you supposed to get anywhere near him without spending over $1,000 just to look at his face?

“How much are those fan-meet things?” You ask yourself aloud. Innocent enough, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the entire process that came with going to just one fansign. This wasn’t something you could just buy a ticket for. No. You had specific steps that you had to follow or you wouldn’t even stand a chance. There were so many steps that you were tempted to just find his company and blast music until security came to take you away. Maybe you’d at least get to meet him when they filed a restraining order.

No. You HAD to meet him. You haven’t saved all of his lost things just for you to chicken out now.

So, you made a fancafe account and waited for their next promotion to purchase an album, you waited for the lottery winners to be announced, and you almost doubled over when you saw your name on the list from the store. You thought 3 months was long enough, but the 24 hours before the event were the longest hours of your life. So long that you couldn’t even sleep!

That’s where the wrench comes in.

You hadn’t meant to stay up so late at all, but you were really excited to finally meet the man that’s been losing everything he touches - especially now that he’s started losing air pods under your bed. So, when you woke up at 10:30am for the fansign that started at 11, you knew you’d messed up. 

You messed up bad. 

Of all the irresponsible things you could’ve done, staying up late was not the one you should’ve chosen to do. Now, you’d have to wait even longer to see him. Maybe the universe was right to give you both the worst soulmate mark known to man.

It wasn’t like waiting for the next fansign was bad, but it wasn’t the best either. Everyday that passed was another day that you had to watch him through a screen. Seeing his dimpled cheeks smile at the camera - at you - making your heart race. He was so close to you, but he was so out of reach. When the next fansign did come around, you had to make sure you made it on time so you could see it in person for yourself.

That’s what you told yourself.

To your credit, you almost did do that! But you had no idea there would be so much traffic. Not only that, but you’d tripped and dropped the box of things to return to him on the street and had to pick it up before anyone saw what it was you were holding. Because of those small issues, you made it to the venue five minutes after they had closed the doors. 

“Please, I’m only five minutes late!” You beg, breathing heavy and labored. You stare at the worker just doing her job with high hopes that she would have some sort of empathy for you, but her face showed no remorse.

“If you wanted to be let in, then you should have been on time.” She scolds, closing the doors on you and leaving you outside to wallow in self pity once more. 

At least the first time you’d messed up you were in the comfort of your own home where you could cry over your failure. Now, you were left in the open for everyone to see your mistake. You were so close too. He was just behind the doors. Waiting to see the adoring faces of his fans that you should be a part of. 

Yet you’re on the streets.

* * *

“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” 

“What makes you say that?” You turn to your friend from your seat on the ground outside of the shop you’d purchased your album from, dressed in a light hoodie with a coffee in your hand. The light of day just peaking through the cracks between the buildings as the street lamps turn off for a new day. 

At this point in your journey to meet your soulmate, you weren’t going to take any more chances. The store didn’t open for another 3 hours, and the event started an hour and a half after that, but you were going to be sure you had your ticket and made it to the venue on time. You didn’t care how early you were, you were going to see Namjoon if it was the last thing you did.

The poor, tired woman seemed to pick up on your indifference to your change in behavior and sighs, “Nothing in particular. I’m just concerned that maybe you’re taking this to the extreme now.”

“I’ve tried and failed three times already, Bomi. I cannot miss another chance to meet them!” You explain, taking a sip from your warm cup.

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that they’re just a boy band and you shouldn’t get so excited over them. They all have soulmates anyways.” Of course she didn’t know that you were going because one of them was your soulmate, but you couldn’t risk anyone finding out and telling your soulmate before you could tell him. 

“I know that, but it’s worth it!” All the hours you’d spent waiting, watching their new content, reading their tweets and various posts from other social media wishing you could see him in person for just a moment. This was the fourth attempt, and you didn’t want to continue this cycle of hit and miss. “I’m not missing it this time.”

“Well, waiting outside of this shop so early just to get a ticket that’s already yours is absurd!” 

“You didn’t have to come with me.” You grumble. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that. You were very much aware of the fact that it was insane. It was something you thought about every time you failed to make it into the venue! Having her reiterate what you already knew did not make it any easier.

However, your acquaintance wasn’t having your response, “I did. You blackmailed me into coming with you so you’d actually do it right, remember?”

The vague memory of sending her an embarrassing picture you had as a way to convince her to come flashes through your mind. So maybe your methods were unconventional, but they worked. “That’s not important!” 

You both continue to wait by the store’s entrance, making light conversation as more people begin to show up for their own tickets. Of course, you knew they’d be here, that’s why you left extra early to be there first. It was a good thing you did too, because as the time ticked on and the line grew longer, it became obvious a lot of fans had purchased their albums from the same store you had. Even as the store owner arrived to start their day, not at all surprised by the line that had formed for them, there were still fans lining up for their tickets.

But in the end, you were first to arrive and receive your ticket, and that made you one of the first to the venue.

“Alright, we made it. This is where I leave you.” Bomi hikes her bag further onto her shoulder and turns to face you one last time before she leaves, “Don’t make a fool of yourself in there. And do not show them your airpod collection!”

‘Oh, I’m returning the airpod collection…’ You think to yourself, sending a quick wave goodbye to her.

Waiting for the doors to the venue to open didn’t take as long as you’d thought it would - security check taking even less time. You found your seat pretty easily as well, being placed on the left side of the empty table in the middle of the sea of chairs. Taking the time you have while everyone finds their seats, you take a peek inside of the box you’d brought to grab your album and just look at everything you’d brought to begin their return to Namjoon. You made sure to bring every pair of air pods you had found - and hadn’t sold on eBbay - a few old homework assignments, USB’s, pictures he’d taken through his pre-debut, and the trophy he’d misplaced that lead to your discovery.

Hopefully his band members wouldn’t be too upset with him.

You’d learned a lot about each of them over the two years you’ve spent trying to meet with Namjoon. So many times you’d been tempted to put yourself on the fan page or DM them on Twitter, but you were too afraid of being drowned out by other ARMYs or one of the other boys blocking you before Namjoon could see. No doubt they each probably had hardships of their own trying dodge fans claiming to be their soulmate. Watching as they each come to the stage individually, you could see why anyone would lie to call them theirs. You couldn’t deny how handsome they all were - you’d be lying to yourself if you said you thought they weren’t handsome - but no one could compare to your Namjoon.

If you get the opportunity to meet his stylist, then you’re going to give her the biggest hug for making him look this amazing! It was just a plain white, button down shirt tucked into a black pair of dress pants, but the top two buttons of his shirt undone and the grey, satin suit jacket with the addition of black, square glasses and his brown hair neatly parted to the left make him look like a god - should they exist. He takes your breath away, even if you’ve seen every picture and fancam you were able to find. The universe really said, “this one deserves the best” and threw you the biggest catch out there. You could only hope he enjoyed the simple pair of jeans and pastel yellow sweater you’d thrown on for the occasion.

It takes a while before they begin the meet and greet part, the boys introducing themselves and asking questions, letting their fan sites take pictures before they turn their attention to the individual fans as they pass them. With every moment that passes by, every row you watch stand and enter the line to the stage, you become more and more nervous. Of course, you knew your soulmate was truly Namjoon, but you were still terrified to reveal that truth in front of everyone. You’d seen a few announcements regarding the boys and their soulmates, talking about how their respective soulmate would be treated like another one of the boys and would be protected by BigHit as soon as they were found. You knew you’d at least have his company behind you, but…

What about his fans?

You can’t help but fester in your own thoughts, letting them consume you even as you make your way into the line with your box. You try your best to muster up the courage you need, but the looming presence of the table getting closer and closer makes your breathing harder. All you need to do is remain calm. They were just people.

The people who’ve spent almost 7 years with your soulmate.

And your soulmate himself.

No biggie.

“Ma’am.” The voice of the staff keeping the line interrupts your internal panic, pulling you back to reality. He points to the table where an excited Taehyung smiles eagerly at you with an empty space in front of him. “You’re next.”

“Yes! Thank you.” Reeling from embarrassment, you quickly kneel down to the space in front of the table. You give a small bow and hand over your album to the boxy-smiled boy in front of you, your hands shaking from how nervous you are. All you had to do was make it through 5 more boys and you’d meet your soulmate. 

5 more people....

...and you’d meet your soulmate.

A hand lands on top of your own, “There’s no need to be nervous!” Taehyung is bright and happy, calmly running a thumb over the back of your hand as he uses the other to sign your album. His eyes shift from you to the paper and back to you, “You’re doing great~”

You felt a little bad for probably ignoring him. He must’ve been trying to introduce himself when he’d noticed you’d spaced out yet again. Yet here he was, acting as though it wasn’t even that big of a deal. Of course, he still had about 50 more people or so to have a minute conversation with, but he genuinely seemed to care. It made you feel more confident.

“Thank you.” You say, a smile gracing your lips. You were still nervous, but at least now you felt calm and somewhat collected to at least make it through the other members. You move onto Yoongi, then to Jeongguk, to Jin, to Jimin, and then to Hoseok. Once again, you’re feeling a little guilty about the time you spend with him. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to be in front of him, but your soulmate was less than 2 feet away from you looking like he walked out of a Vogue photo shoot with a happy little smile on his face. Hopefully, if all goes well you can apologize to him for being distracted.

The staff moves everyone along and your time finally comes. You bid Hoseok a quick thank you and goodbye and move yourself in front of Namjoon, his box tucked close to your body as a way to keep you grounded. 

Namjoon takes your album from Hoseok before he turns his full attention to you, his dimples that you’d been obsessed with since you’d first seen them making an appearance. His dark brown eyes stare into your own, “Hi, what’s your name?”

You’re so entranced by the man in front of you that you almost don’t respond. You manage a quiet, “(Y/n)...” But you’re so stunned and breathless that you think about repeating it just to make sure he hears it.

“Really?” He asks. His eyes widen for just a moment, and you know he recognizes it from a homework assignment or a book you’d probably lost with your name in it. You watch his shoulders as they tense and then relax as if they’d never lifted in the first place. “I really like that name. It’s one of my favorites.”

You watch him turn to the album in front of him, looking for the page you’d like him to sign. Being in front of him now, you feel your confidence grow. You can’t help yourself, “Really? Is there a reason?”

“I’ve just always liked the name.” He says, looking up momentarily with a tight smile. He probably didn’t want to be too obvious about his soulmate - well, you - so fans wouldn’t go looking for you. That must be the one downside to the life of an idol. You watch him carefully, taking in the way he handles your album with care. You watch him flip through pages, his smile slipping for a confused frown. He looks at you, “You don’t have a question for me?”

You jump at the sudden realization that you hadn’t given him the box yet, “No! I do…” This was it. You look from him to the box you’ve clung onto for two years, “It’s inside the box.”

Carefully, you slide the box forward, feeling the nerves you’ve been feeling all day spring to life. He takes it from you with a grateful smile, probably expecting a bear or something you’d made yourself just for him. But judging by the look on his face, you can tell he wasn’t expecting to find the objects in front of him. His shocked face makes you chuckle.

“I’ve always wondered how one person can lose so many things. I understand homework and socks, the airpods, but an entire trophy, Namjoon? How do you lose a trophy?” You ask. You wait for an answer, but he looks as if he’s completely shut down. His jaw hangs open ever so slightly, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. You see a glisten in his eyes and your amusement turns to worry, “Are you okay?”

The leader turns to you, glistening eyes staring into your own. His mouth opens and closes and it looks like he’s trying to find the right words to say, “I-...I don-...oh my god, you’re actually here.”

You watch as the shine in his eyes turn to tears that slowly roll down his cheeks, his mouth struggling to decide if he wants to frown or smile. You’re more worried than anything, “Wah-! Don’t cry! Why are you crying?!” You reach for his hands that still rest on the sides of the box, mimicking what Taehyung had done for you when you first stepped up to the table. “Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says softly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. You’re still confused if he himself is happy or not, trying to make sense of why he’s crying when he just met you. You watch his eyes drift over you with an unclear expression. Was he happy? Was he sad? Were you supposed to be reacting the same way?

“You’re beautiful…” He says, teary eyes meeting your own.

“So are you.” You respond. It’s only after the words fall from your mouth that you realize what you said and you try to correct yourself, “Handsome! I meant to say you’re handsome! You’re very attractive in a very masculine way, but that’s not to say you don’t express femininity well when you choose to and you look good all the time and-” Amidst your struggle for the correct words, he’d begun to laugh at your own expense. Not how you imagined this meeting to go, you shrink back to your side of the table, “I’ll just stop talking.”

“No! Please, keep talking.” He begs, moving forward to come closer to you. He pulls on your hands that still connect across the table, squeezing to reassure you that he still wanted you to be near him. It felt so nice to have him hold your hands, so nice and comforting, that you must’ve missed the glistening in your own eyes, “Now you’re crying!”

Your hands pull from his to hide your face, “No I’m not, it’s just raining inside!” 

As you try to wipe away your tears, you hear the voice of Jimin call over the speakers just off to the side of the table, “You’re not supposed to make the fans cry!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Namjoon defends. In all fairness, you did make him cry first, so this was probably fair.

Hoseok claps his hands together, his voice just subtly coming through the speakers as well, “This is so sweet! We’re all witnessing two soulmates meet for the first time!” 

“It’s like a movie, but without the flower petals.” Taehyung adds, having a mic of his own on his side as well.

“Miss.” Another staff member appears next to you, only this time they’re offering a hand and a smile, “Could I have you come with me?”

You’re nervous at first, not sure if going with this staff member would be the best idea. However, the presence of Namjoon’s hand on your own once more draws your attention to his heartwarming smile, “It’s okay.”

You nod and stand, allowing the staff to lead you behind the table and into the hallway to a waiting area. They have you sit on the couch, assuring you that Namjoon and the others would be there to see you soon. This at least gave you a moment to collect your thoughts and come to the realization that you really just met your soulmate after so much hard work to get there. You’d thought plenty of times that you’d regret trying to meet him this way, but now you couldn’t be more elated that you actually got to speak to him and hold his hands. You made him cry - what were hopefully - tears of joy! Even as their manager sits down to make small talk with you while you wait for the end of the fanmeet, you can’t help but to feel as if you’re on cloud 9. 

It’s not too long until you hear that the meeting has come to an end, making your heart rate speed up. Once again, you take a deep breath in and let it out, preparing yourself to face Namjoon again. Only when he does come in, you both just stare at one another. Him from the doorway with his members waiting behind him and you from your spot on the couch. You’d already met, you’d already held hands, but this...he was right there.

“Well, are you going to talk to her or just look at her?” Jin asks, a mischievous smirk gracing his features as he stares at the younger.

It would seem that the small jab at the leader was all he needed to push himself forward, legs moving swiftly across the room in long strides just so he can reach you. You stand, intending to meet him halfway, but he’s already pulling you into a much needed embrace before you even get the chance. His arms wrap over your shoulders, caging you close to his chest as he leans down to rest his head on your own. He smells so nice, and his embrace is so warm, they almost distract you from the wetness you feel on top of your head.

“Namjoon…?” You ask, worried you might make him cry more by asking.

The man himself pulls back, quickly moving to wipe his tears as if he hadn’t already cried in front of you already, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional right now.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute.” You assure him. You look down, feeling a bit embarrassed yourself, “Much cuter than showing up to your fansign with a bunch of your things.”

“How long have you known?” He asks.

“2 long and painful years.” You sigh. Thinking back on everything you’ve done since discovering who and where he was, you can’t help but be thankful it worked out this time around, “I’ve tried coming to a fan sign 3 times before this.”

“Couldn’t win a ticket?” Jeongguk asks from the side, a bottle of water in his hands.

Your sheepish smile turns into a strained one, “Yeah...we’ll go with that.”

Yoongi seems to pick up on your change in attitude, “Don’t tell me…” 

“No wonder the universe put them together, they’re a match made in heaven!” Jin laughs, the sound being much more entertaining in person. The other members of BTS continue to talk amongst themselves, discussing the scene before them as well as how exciting the day had been. But Namjoon, instead, focuses all of his attention on you.

“Please tell me you’re free for the rest of the day.” 

For once, you were more than happy to use your holiday time, “I’m free for the rest of the weekend.”

“Good.” He says, giving you another look at his beautiful, dimpled smile.

“Good...”

* * *

“So, what’s in the box?” 

[ddaehyeon]

kalopsia; s. wb + reader + k. ty

pairing: seo woobin + reader + kim taeyoung

genre: angst, fluff, hanahaki au

word count: 10.4k

warnings: blood, hospital visit, light cursing, mentions of sickness, death, anxiety, and alcohol/drinking

summary: in each passing day that you grew fonder of taeyoung, more petals would come out of your lips. your heart, a garden of the most beautiful flowers, only that it was also a reminder of your unrequited love. and with the withering petals, woobin can't bear to simply watch.

-- video teaser; story playlist; masterlist; taglist form 🥀

a/n: my longest fic so far! aaaa this is for a fic exchange with the amazing @arieswonjin​​. ilysm <3 i enjoyed writing this a lot and i hope we can do more exchanges in the future! also, special thanks to @starrycrvty​​ who helped me with the editing process and cheered me up while i was losing a braincell in the development of the scenes. you’re awesome and ily. <3

hope you will enjoy this ride. send me feedback through my ask/reblogs! i’ll appreciate it a lot :>

taglist: @bunnyseongmin​​

[ will edit this again in the future; ]

regardless of how the day was already ending, flowers seemed to not lose their vibrancy. whenever a gust of air blew by, it would dance along with the wind’s melody. you took a breath, the floral scent easing your body which was probably hugged with nothing but fatigue out of the ruthless writing sessions you gave yourself for hours.

a mélange of colors in the sky; the red hue engulfing the orange tint. it was funny how despite that war of colors, in the end, the sky will turn pitch-black with scattered twinkling stars.

sure, spring was one of the most beautiful seasons. but that small amount of fondness for the aforementioned season will never be enough to make you want to experience it for the whole year. life played favorites though— it was spring for you all year round.

you smiled to yourself, trying to shrug off the thought. good thing you weren’t in your room and the sidewalk wasn’t the quietest place to be at during this hour. it offered a space for distractions. most shops were closing, students were to go home from long hours of studying, workers with a weariness that yours couldn’t match walking to hubs for some sort of leisure activities. if you were in some kind of company work, you’d probably be in the same position. going for a drink or two with friends after working hours. but well, you weren’t.

instead of a bustling office requiring formal attire; you were usually in your pajamas, musing about life and writing about it through means of prose and poetry. a young published author who was known for having a great appreciation for flowers. in a few months, another book will be launched under your name. its spine holding all the papers inked by your love, not for flowers or anything else, but for a childhood friend who seemed to not have taken notice of the flower that began growing in your lungs— a rose.

reaching the convenience store, you contemplated which instant food would serve as your dinner tonight. ordered food seemed to have bored out your taste buds, a little change was needed. and to say, probably a more unhealthy choice. maybe a dosirak would do or a kimbap and peel sausage.

as you were to enter, a call of your name put your feet to a halt. you turned to look at the speaker. “oh hey, woobin?”

a weak smile graced his lips, opening the door for you. he spoke after the both of you had entered the store. “tired of ordered meals?”

“kind of,” you replied, a sigh punctuating your words. you walked up to the aisle of dosirak. the sight of it made you swiftly cross it out of your options. you wanted something else. “how about you?”

“craved for ice cream,” answered woobin who, unlike you, had made his mind in settling with a pint of almond ice cream.

grabbing some triangle kimbaps, you looked at him with a raised brow. “wouldn’t that harm your ever so majestic voice?”

if you made money through books, woobin earned his through singing. it ranged from covers to original song compositions. he was quite popular with all the ballad songs he covered that without a lie was a heart-melter. if home and serenity would be defined using a voice, woobin’s would be the perfect definition for it.

“not really.” a chuckle was heard from him as he watched you grab a cup of instant ramyun. “well, wouldn’t that harm your ever so wonderful brain?”

you shook your head but laughed at the remark. woobin had been your friend for quite a long time, probably one of the closest. light and playful banters seemed to have become a part of your usual talks.

walking towards the counter, you settled your items which the worker scanned quickly. the amount flashed by the small screen, and you pulled your wallet out to pay. woobin followed shortly.

“a healthy alternative after ice cream?” you asked, noticing a herbal medicine pouch being placed in his bag.

woobin hunched his shoulders up, and proceeded to go out of the store.

a soft breeze welcomed you as you stepped out. the sidewalk was no longer as busy as it was earlier and the sky was losing its colors bit by bit as if the flickering lights in the queued lampposts were sucking it all.

“so how is it coming out?” woobin asked as he walked beside you. your apartment and his were only a few blocks away. his apartment was inside a street, away from the main road filled with noises coming from horns and speeding cars, while yours was in a complex near the road. you liked watching people from up the balcony, it was like watching a film, only that everything that was happening was real and only the made-up dialogues of the strangers were sheer fiction.

“minor editings left,” you replied. “also, next week the possible art for the cover will be out. want to check it out with me?”

he didn’t reply right after as if he was mentally checking his schedule, weighing if he was free or not. though his answer indicated that the things he had to do had flexible deadlines. “sure, just tell me when.”

“i’ll call you once they message me about it.” a cough ended your sentence, you covered your mouth as you did so. something smooth touching your palm. it was happening… again.

“are you alright?” concern evident on woobin’s face, he went closer to you. his hand on your back, rubbing circles to ease your coughing.

but he was aware it would not be enough to stop it. a rub or any sort of medicine wouldn’t stop it. like how will those be enough to stop a flower from blooming in your lungs?

it was the reason why even though you admired the beauty of spring, you also disliked it.

flowers were in full bloom during spring. the way each petal was colored was pleasing to the eye. however, such beauty should have just stayed where they were supposed to be. on the ground, decorating the world with its vibrant color. it should only be there instead of clinging onto someone's lungs after failing to get their love returned.

hanahaki, a disease that causes someone to cough up flower petals when their love is one-sided.

there were different stages of it. at first, it was only a mere cough. something one would mistake for a regular cough. until petals come along with it on the next stage. followed by a mix of blood, acute chest pain, and shortness of breathing in the last.

two ways to resolve it. either undergo a surgery which will cost a fortune at the risk of wiping out not only your emotions but also the memory of all people you are close with or have your love reciprocated. inability to obtain any of the mentioned cures will result in the most unfortunate event. no more pain from the flower sprouting in your chest. no ache, coming from the bitter taste of being reminded every single night that your love wasn’t reciprocated— death.

“i’m alright.” it took quite a while before your coughing subsided. you were sure petals were already accumulated on your hand. bringing your hand down, you let go of the red petals. luckily, no blood. but you didn’t expect less. this disease had been giving you restless nights lately, worsening and worsening.

a sigh left woobin’s lips as he shook his head. “that’s not the look of someone alright for me.”

the rest of the walk was silent. woobin insisted on walking you home, to which you had no power to decline. even if you told him no, he still ended up doing so.

by the time you reached the front of your unit, night had already won the clash in the sky. the stars glimmering above at their triumph.

“don’t work up until late,” woobin reminded.

you smiled, wishing you could tell him that it wasn’t the writing that made you get less rest every evening. it was the rose that inhabited your lungs. “i will not.”

“here,” said woobin, handing you the bag of the things he bought earlier.

the ice cream was no longer of its same form as it was earlier. its mist soaked the insides of the plastic bag. “and why are you giving it to me?”

“just take it. you know in movies heartbroken people would eat ice cream as they mope around.”

the lighthearted remark made you laugh. woobin had his ways to make you feel better. “and what about the medicine?”

“you’re probably sad, but that won’t mean that you should not take care of yourself.” he was aware of your feelings for someone else. he was aware of the red roses in your chest. he was aware that your feelings weren’t reciprocated.

“makes sense.” you flashed him a smile, scrambling on your bag to take out one of the triangle kimbaps. the item tossed to his direction which he caught smoothly. “take that at least.”

“well, thank you?” he gazed at the food you gave him before returning the smile. “have a good night, y/n. call me if you need anything.”

you hummed as a response, watching woobin make his way to the stairs, descending afterward. another gust of wind passed by and you rushed to go inside. staring at the now melted ice cream, you shook your head. a laugh escaping your lips as you closed the door.

how long has it been? you thought.

collapsing on the bed, you stared at the ceiling. the coughing had already stopped, yet the burning pain in your chest remained.

what was the flower again?

a rose?

maybe the stabbing ache was caused by its thorns that came to hug your lungs. you sighed as if that would altogether pull out the suffocating sensation— of course, it wouldn’t. it would never.

a curt beep on your phone pulled you out of your cloudy thoughts, reaching for it to read the notification. a message from one of your friends which read,

it’s your debut book’s first anniversary today! congrats, y/n.

for a moment, your lips curled into a faint smile, so weak that it didn’t even last for a minute. sending a quick reply to show gratitude over the thought, you allowed yourself to drown over the same thoughts.

that book with inked poetry all meant to deliver a single message— your feelings for taeyoung. the words laced in each rhyme was a cover of the affection you had for him, and the petals you cough each night was his answer.

a childhood friend who you used to be neighbors with. he still lived under the comforts of his parents’ home, while you moved to live alone in an apartment, desperately seeking independence.

or maybe seeking for a way to not see his face every single day and be reminded that his favorite flower, a rose, had been blooming in your lungs.

the brightness taeyoung had never seemed to fade, his smile still carried sunlight of its own. a contagious one that would make anyone have the same smile (but maybe not as bright). his bubbliness was a comfort. whenever around him, the butterflies causing chaos in your stomach would make you forget about the evening ache he was subconsciously bringing.

taeyoung, ever since you were young, loved books and flowers. you preferred other things though, but somehow you found yourself conforming to what he liked. being the person you spent most of your time with, his interest became yours. whenever he would tell you about something he became inclined to, you would check it as quick, forcing yourself to like it. it was a repeated action that was implanted as a habit. in the process of trying to be his ideal person, your own identity was thrown away. a trap filled with nothing but thorns of his favorite flower.

shifting to your side, your eyes landed on the wall just above your working table. photographs of roses were stuck on it, along with verses other people might find painfully beautiful. you knew your words better though. its beauty was a mere delusion. hiding behind the pretty words were ugly cries— your reality.

another cough, a petal escaping from your lips. it danced in the air as it was freed, only to meet the cold floor of your room. with flowers blooming in the chest, you closed your eyes drifting to sleep. the pain no longer mattered as it was the usual sensation.

a soft instrumental had taken over your apartment. the sun was already up, its light filtering through the blinds. your potted plants were probably thankful for its generosity. you took a sip of your coffee, staring at the few words written in the new document reserved for a new manuscript. writing, or at least conceptualizing the main theme, of your next book was your top priority today. however, the continuous notifications coming from your close peers dragged you out of your bubble every single time.

with you celebrating the first anniversary of your debut book (which basically marked the day of your debut as a published writer), receiving messages was plain inevitable. your editor even asked if you’d be up for a drink later this night. an offer you turned down. silence and alone time this evening were everything you craved for.

putting your laptop on rest, you grabbed your own copy of withered roses, your book. it was silly how you decided to have perfectly blooming and lively roses as its cover when it contained the very title, your own withered roses hiding through beautiful verses.

flipping through the pages, you stopped on a certain poetry. undeniably, one of your favorites. it was one of the first poems that you wrote for this collection. grabbing a paper and a pen, you scribbled the words down, the same words still describing your situation perfectly. and maybe that was the reason why your condition was worsening.

you stuck the paper on the wall, just beside a photograph of a blue rose. for a moment, you stared at it, smiling at the words as if those were some kind of lost friends who rekindled with you. you smiled as if those were something that you should be smiling at.

three doorbells and a few knocks. a heavy sigh came out of your lips, tearing your eyes away from the poem. slow steps towards the door, the person on the other seemed rather impatient for the doorbell continuously made a sound. it was enough for another breath to escape the confines of your mouth.

swinging the door open, your eyes widened. the sight penetrating quickly to your senses and the sensation you hated the most overpowering you, your heartbeat loud. really loud. “taeyoung?”

for him to be able to give you the most wonderful feeling of warm cheeks and butterflies and still be able to poison you using his favorite flower lethal to your body, you wondered when it would end.

“it’s withered roses’ first anniversary!” his smile was a band-aid, too fleeting of a cure for you. he lifted a pot of cycnoches orchids, something that was probably from his parent’s flower shop. “here’s a gift for you.”

“thank you.” as he handed you the pot, you gave him enough space to enter your unit. placing it just beside the other plants you had, all coming from their shop, you turned to look at taeyoung. a pout appearing in your countenance. “you should have brought food.”

taeyoung scratched his head at your sudden words, a sheepish smile curving on his lips. “well, we can order.”

at the sight of a slightly flustered taeyoung, a string of laughter became your immediate response. “i was kidding.”

you went back to the couch to sit with taeyoung following you shortly. the music playing in your room had long ago stopped, something you only noticed after taeyoung came. after your awareness came to hug you once again.

his eyes wandered as if it was his first time in your unit. it was definitely not his first visit, to count how many times he’d been there was also impossible. just like how you frequented their flower shop, he was usually in your unit as well. maybe it was due to him being used to your company. childhood friends, former neighbors— inseparable, but in a manner that went nothing beyond romantic feelings. at least to his side.

glancing at him, you followed where his gaze was fixated on. it was focused on the wall that held photographs of roses and the poem you scribbled earlier from your book.

“wasn’t that the eighth poem in your book?” intrigued, he looked at you with a brow raised.

you didn't have to meet his gaze. a smile slowly crept out of your visage. it didn't hold an emotion though, more like a simple forced curve. "it is."

"i love it." it was a genuine remark, but somehow, instead of giving you a warm feeling, it did the opposite. standing up, he reached for the paper, detaching it from the wall. the words slipping out of his tongue as he read it out loud.

heat-haze; sunrays visible at the nighttime daydream under the cloud of deep distance built a sensation of unrequited affection innumerable actions-- satisfied, captured by mere existence. nevertheless, the heart was jinxed in a presence, a love, i cannot withdraw from.

as the final four lines were uttered, he looked at you in the eyes, a hint of gloom clouding his misty orbitals. he had the poem memorized, but it was only the words he had carved in his mind. the feelings sealed with it, unnoticed.

taeyoung was the reason why you began writing. a simple comment of his saying that you would make a good author and your words were all prettily laid out made you want to write.

or perhaps it was not the writing you were chasing for, rather the speaker who told you that he wished to see more of your writing.

for others, writing could be a form of escape. to be under a little spell that would pull someone out of their reality. you wished you were the same. you wished your writing wasn't your reality.

anywhere you go, you were surrounded by your reality. the potted plants you should not be taking care of if it wasn't for his interest in plants and flowers. the book that was published a year ago and the soon to be published one. the colors that accented your unit which he said was such a relaxing palette. the words in your head. the flower in your chest. it was the reality made out of nothing but the person you loved.

“wait.” taeyoung’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. he was peering over petals of red roses that were on your table.

it seemed like you forgot to clean it up earlier. well, you didn’t expect anyone to actually go to your house. such a realization was thought late.

“were you playing with roses?” taeyoung asked, frowning as he looked at it.

you’d consider that a stupid question, but taeyoung didn’t know a thing about your condition so you let it pass. there was no way in hell you’d tell him about it now. not yet. “yes.”

“so how was it?” the excitement and giddiness leaking in his tone as he plopped down next to you on the couch didn’t help. what was he even referring about? your hanahaki disease? what? as if hearing your question, he clarified his query, “does he love you?”

ah, the popular he loves me, he loves me not.

there was no need for that though, the petals you vomit each night was a clear answer. you smiled, leaning back to get seated more comfortably. “he doesn’t.”

the way those two words left your lips surprised you. no hint of hurt, sadness, or anything— it was laced with a calm tone as if retreating, surrendering, accepting. will it really be your fate?

taeyoung sighed, the smile he once had melting away. “don’t worry, it’s just a silly game anyway. the person you love probably loves you too.”

you turned to look at him. a mistake. kind eyes met yours, reassuring you of something you had already known for so long was false. there was no need to hang into that ray of hope when you were aware that it was not the case.

eyes glossy with the tears that never dared to fall, you offered him a tight-lipped smile. “thank you.”

he grinned, which you assumed was out of relief before he looked at your wall once again. “why use roses though? there are other flowers out there.”

“well, isn’t it the first flower you’d think of when you hear the word love?” you replied. “it means a lot more depending on its color, but in simple terms, it just means love and romance.”

“you seem to know a lot about it,” he remarked, not tearing his gaze away from the photograph. “why blue out of all colors?” he asked referring to the photograph you had on your wall.

“it stands for an impossible miracle.” a clear depiction of your situation. no word followed that sentence, and good thing taeyoung didn’t ask any further about why. maybe it was due to his perception that poetry writers had other symbolism hidden behind their verses, even when there was nothing and the message was just in front of their readers.

“roses are wonderful, aren’t they?”

not when they are blooming in your chest. not when its thorn embraces your lungs. not when it suffocates you. your thoughts were loud in your head. but you knew you can’t blame it for inhabiting your body. you can’t even have taeyoung blamed for it either. it was the universe’s fault for laying such a disease in humanity. “they truly are.”

“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.

there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”

how could you not when its petals were the ones that kept on coming out of your lips every evening?

a ringing coming from a device shattered the silence in your apartment. but this time, it wasn’t from yours. it was from taeyoung who was now about to leave your unit, his parents had called him to go and do his tasks in the flower shop. seemed like he had forgotten about it, considering that he’d been with you for almost an hour.

“take care and have fun for the rest of the day!” taeyoung ruffled your hair and left. his touch lingering.

your room suddenly felt empty. as if taeyoung had taken all the vibrancy it had after stepping out of it. taeyoung was your paradox— a home that housed nothing but emotions you shouldn’t regard as home, but you did. he was your home.

you coughed, a petal threatening to escape. the windpipe blocked, your chest tightening. a sorrowful smile was your only answer to the ache that was resurfacing. your gaze didn't falter, still locked on the photograph of the blue rose. to no one in particular, few words were whispered, “they are beautiful.”

“remind me again why i’m here with you?” woobin looked at the almost empty store; sleepwears displayed from the first showcase up to the last rack. it was a week after the first anniversary of your book, things had seemed to tranquil much more.

shopping during the working hours on weekdays was certainly one of the best things. the absence of people led to different advantages like having no long queue to the cashier, no people to deal with as you browse the clothes, and overall just serene shopping.

you didn’t mind it when a salesperson would go and ask you about what type or design you were looking for, they were probably getting bored having to stand for a long time and entertain just a few passing potential customers. the mall’s theme song was playing from a distant speaker, almost inaudible and muffled by the sweet piano music playing in the shop itself. keeping it up to the theme of the shop, if there was a bed in there, you’d probably be brought to sleep right after. something you weren’t sure to consider as a good aspect or bad aspect of the clothing store.

“well, you just finished posting another wonderful cover which hit a hundred thousand views in an hour, we must celebrate, right?” you replied as you picked up a pair of pastel plaid pajamas, checking the fabric quality to which you quickly marked as spandex.

woobin reached for the design next to what you picked up, eyeing it with less interest than you had. “but why are we buying pajamas?”

“because i need it.” a chuckle was heard from you after he let go of a sigh at your words. you stepped closer to him, peering over his shoulder to check the design he was checking.

“by the way,” he began, not wanting to ask more as he was aware of your love for comfortable clothes (pajamas being the top of it along with sweaters and hoodies). “i’m applying for a job in this pharmaceutical company located in another town as a medicinal chemist.”

“oh? the one you mentioned before?” you watched him go through another set of sleepwear.

it was a sudden reminder that before being known as the seo woobin who sang various songs in innumerable gigs and had built a name in the music side of youtube, he was the seo woobin who excelled in his major, organic chemistry. for years of him not applying for an actual job as a chemist anywhere and pursuing his dream career, that fact was swept out of your mind.

you met woobin in one of your electives— a chemistry class that you would probably have to retake only if he didn’t help you out. the limited slots in language classes were the ones you put your blame on, but it wasn’t completely that bad. after all, you had ended up making a good friend in the class you despised the most.

“are you going to quit singing?” worry was painted all over your face which earned a soft amused laughter from woobin. you adore his singing a lot, the comfort his mellifluous voice could bring was distinct, something you’d grown ever so fond of.

“you know, i just want to put my degree into proper use.” woobin smiled reassuringly as he tossed you a set of pajamas with the design he guessed was what you were searching for, the one with doodled roses decorating it from bottom to the top. “kind of had the urge to get a secured job.”

the clothing dumped to you went unnoticed as you fired off another question. “what about the album deal? i thought you already had one. what’s going to happen with that?”

“i will still sing.” there was no need to doubt woobin’s calm tone as he said those words. “don’t worry about it. i love singing and i’ll not stop doing it.”

“make sure to.” you walked towards another rack, finally noticing the pajamas woobin had thrown in your way earlier. staring at it for a moment, the initial thoughts about the flower easily came into your head. “this one’s cute. i’ll take it.”

unconvinced, woobin raised a brow at you. “are you sure you found it cute or there’s another reason behind you liking it?”

the other reason he was pertaining to was clear, enough to become a slap rather than a mere reminder. do you really like it or do you simply want the person you like to notice you for having something close to their favorite thing?

feeling lost to your own set of likes seemed like a normal thing. mind plagued with taeyoung’s interests that it mattered more than yours. at this point, you weren’t sure if you were doing it for him to like you back and finally get the fuzzy feeling of being loved back or you were simply desperate to stop the flowers from budding in your chest.

“i like it,” you answered after a long while of spacing out. you even nodded your head as if trying to convince yourself from a statement you weren’t sure whether to label as a lie or a truth.

“if you say so.” an indistinct sigh came across woobin, subtly shaking his head in disbelief. he didn’t go deeper into the topic though, instead uttered some words that made a bright smile grace your lips. “go and choose whichever you want. it’s on me today.”

wearing the new pair of a loose shirt and pajama, you gazed at your reflection. a curve spotted on your lips, satisfied with the new purchase. demeanor dropping as a familiar sensation crawled up to your senses. the calm night was taken aback when your chest began tightening. a petal quickly rising, stuck on your throat afterward as you tried to hold it in. however, it was a failed attempt. the urge strong that you had to run towards the bathroom to release all the petals of the vivid red rose that nurtured in your body, watered with nothing but unreturned affection.

just like any other night, the sickness came to do its visit. its terrible reminder playing in your mind. the blood that mingled with the petals was hard to discern as they were colored in the same hue; it tasted different though.

a ringing in your head as your vision started to blur, not noticing how tears had formed in your eyes as the pain emerged to be stronger than it usually was. the intensifying ache wasn’t the only one that made your tears fall. all your unnoticed efforts, regardless of how big they were, were the ones that brought salty tears. your knees buckled, allowing you to meet the ground unceremoniously. it was getting harder to breathe and the cold bathroom tiles were your only company.

it was a twisted melody. in each cough, petals would escape. it didn’t even take a long time for you to be surrounded by a sea of red petals. what a sickening view, you thought. how do people regard roses as something so beautiful?

a memory.

“dear, taeyoung is outside, waiting for you.” a few knocks on the door accompanied your mother’s call.

it was a hot summer, the sun giving no mercy with its ray as if angry with how it was neglected during the cold seasons. with a few remaining days before the start of a new quarter, you probably had spent most of your time in your room. oftentimes will you go out only at the call of a childhood friend.

“y/n.” as if stepping out of your thoughts, taeyoung had your name wrapped by his cheerful voice. “mom made homemade ice cream. come on, get out of your room already.”

if your own mother wasn’t able to pull you out of your room, taeyoung was. your feet quick to move as you checked on your reflection by the mirror, practicing a smile and some silent dialogues. all to which you weren’t really able to show when you opened the door. a faint blush crept on your cheeks as soon as your gaze landed on the bright smile taeyoung had on his own. butterflies flew free in your stomach, heart pounding.

maybe it was the way taeyoung would talk to you with an unmatched enthusiasm even if your words make no sense. maybe it was because of the vibrancy he had all around him that simply could bring comfort to anyone he was with. maybe it was due to the fact that he had been with you since you were a kid.

or maybe it was just because he was him, kim taeyoung, that your crush began budding as a love. and as soon as it did, his favorite flower, a rose, was caught in your lungs during middle school.

occupied by the sensation, your mind didn’t attend to the continuous doorbells ringing in your apartment. in a few, the door was opened, rushed footsteps along with your name uttered in sheer concern echoed in your unit. with the air knocked out by the relentless flower, from red your vision turned pitch black.

when dusk fell, woobin was already in the hospital with a drink in his hand, which was meant to be given to you. he’d been going back and forth to the hospital and his apartment to bring you food and some other items you needed.

the scene he witnessed last night was still fresh in his mind, the panic lingering. on your cold bathroom floor, you laid unconscious with petals of roses surrounding your figure. he was swift to get help, which ended up with you having to stay for almost a day in the lonely ward. your room making you feel sicker.

“oh, you’re back?” serim, the head nurse and a close friend of woobin, said as he walked towards the other.

woobin nodded, tracing the track he’d been stepping into since this morning. it was as if he could easily go to your room even with eyes closed. serim followed from behind and before he could say a word, woobin had already found your room empty. finally, he offered the nurse attention. “where’s y/n? already discharged?”

“yes, they just went to talk with their doctor for a few more reminders.” serim shook his head disapprovingly. “they should stay longer, but they seem like a very busy person.”

“y/n should just follow their doctor.” a sigh punctuated woobin’s sentence.

“and you should too,” said serim.

woobin began walking his way back to the nurse station reception to wait for you. “my case is different.”

“you’re slowly losing your voice because of your own sickness.” serim’s sigh was way heavier than woobin’s, his orbitals painted with worry. being one of woobin’s closest friends, he knew all about it. “orchids are blooming in your lungs, how are you different?”

a glare was darted to serim’s direction which became woobin’s sole reply since they both saw you approaching them. serim hunched his shoulders up, shaking his head once again before walking away.

“thank you for taking care of me,” you told woobin who handed you the drink he bought outside.

“of course,” woobin said, leading the way out.

there weren't a lot of people in the lobby. only a few were there, either the nurses turning for their night shifts or the relatives of those people staying in the hospital for the night.

“it’s getting worse, isn’t it?” woobin’s words slowed down your pace, your head turned to him as he continued. “shouldn’t you start trying to move on and finding someone who can actually love you back?”

“what do you mean?”

woobin shrugged. “it seems like it’s the only way for you to be properly healed.”

yes, moving on and falling for someone else was a considered cure as well. a change of feelings could remove the flower naturally. but doing so was easier said than done.

a sad smile became evident on your brim. how could you do that? you thought. “i can’t just fall in love with someone like it’s nothing, woobin.”

“give me a chance then.”

woobin’s words were powerful enough to make your feet stop from moving, to catch your breath and make it halt. it can’t be. you looked at him confused, wishing that you misunderstood what he said. you wished that it would be his regular sentences as he tried to make you feel better. you wished what you were thinking was a mere thought, an idea, a false gut feeling. “woobin?”

it was a question that didn’t need any elaboration. the simple call of his name with such perplexed tone was enough as a query. the same gloomy smile on his lips matched what you had earlier, accompanied by his faint chuckles. “yes,” to your horror, he confirmed. he let go of a breath, something that gave him a boost to finally utter the words he’d been meaning to say. “i’m in love with you and all i want is for the flowers in your chest to stop blossoming.”

“that means…”

to experience the same thing you had been experiencing. to give someone the same taste of your suffering. to plant a flower in someone’s chest and water it every day as you were failing to return their provided affection. it was something you didn’t wish to do, an extremely unfavorable idea which reminded you of how the universe had been unfair from the very start.

“yes, and they aren’t beautiful.” a tight-lipped smile became apparent on his countenance as he stared at the glass doors of the hospital. a few more steps and both of you will be out of the place the two of you frequented on different days, but for the same means— a fleeting cure for the ache caused by hanahaki. “the pain we’re both carrying out of unrequited love. it isn’t beautiful, y/n.”

a lump in your throat stopped any possible reply from coming out of your lips. you wanted to apologize, but an apology from taeyoung wasn’t the thing you’d want to hear from him after you confess and you assumed such wouldn’t give comfort to woobin as well. an apology wouldn’t be enough when you were already striping away someone with their lives.

rather untimely, the door opened, revealing taeyoung. he was holding a basket of flowers, probably for some kind of delivery. with hinted concern, he walked towards you and woobin. “what are you doing here?”

“stomach ache.” regardless of your mangled thoughts, it was a surprise that you were able to respond as soon. it was as if such sickness was a practiced lie.

“is that so?” taeyoung looked at woobin to confirm and the older just nodded not wanting to speak more. he turned to you, his worry dropping a few levels, but was still obvious. “let me just bring this flower to a friend and i’ll walk you home. will that be alright?”

you looked at woobin, silently asking if he would be okay with that. it was such a silly act, of course, he would be against it. but what can he do? just like him, the person you had grown fond of hasn't reciprocated your feelings yet. both of you probably wishing the same thing— for the flowers to wither and be gone. for the restless nights to end. to be loved back. the only difference was woobin was so focused on you that he had forgotten about his condition which was worsening at the same rate as yours.

he patted your shoulder. “sure, i need to head somewhere else anyway. get home safely?”

“i will, you too, woobin.” you gave woobin a smile, guilt sitting in your stomach which was continuously twisting.

woobin weakly mirrored the feature before turning his back to you and taeyoung. as he was stepping out of the establishment, he looked at the twinkling stars, hoping this night would be kinder. but he was certain he’d be the one coughing out orchids tonight, probably worse than your roses.

the stars from above watched you and taeyoung walk on the now empty sidewalk. even without the illumination coming from the lampposts, it was all so bright. all in gratitude for the moon which served as a ball of shining light in the clear night sky.

"you've been sick since we were kids, but you never told me what with." taeyoung broke the silence, uncertain if he should go further. “was it really because of stomach ache earlier?”

a chill ran down your spine, making you inwardly shiver. that wasn’t the talk you were so ready to face. and after what happened last night, you can’t simply bring another lie. however, telling taeyoung everything wasn’t something you planned to do as well. afraid that rejection would become the final straw.

taeyoung stopped dead on his tracks, looking at you with nothing but sheer concern. “is there anything bothering you?”

you gave him a smile which was obviously forced. “don’t worry about it.” you urged him to continue to walk and he did, but just as you thought that you were already safe from his questions, he asked another.

“it’s not a stomach ache wasn’t it?” hands on his back, his gaze was fixated on the road. “what was it, y/n?”

maybe it was time to tell taeyoung about it? maybe— “hanahaki.” the words subconsciously slipped out of your tongue.

“what?” surprised by the mention of the disease, his eyes were wide when he whipped his head to your direction. “you mean… your love is unrequited?”

taeyoung was quick to catch the gist of the disease. it was pretty much a popular sickness that had probably made some of his other friends suffer. the only thing he wasn’t quick to get was… who your feelings were for.

“woobin doesn’t like you back?” he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts which was purely of practicing the possible explanations if he ended up recognizing your feelings for him. and apparently, he didn’t.

it was your turn to shoot him a look. “what?”

“don’t you like woobin?” he averted his gaze and it trailed back to the road. “i mean the two of you seem like really close friends and you’re together most of the time.”

you didn’t know whether you should be relieved or not. but since you were still unprepared to offer any explanation, you just went with the flow. a bitter smile coming to your lips. your head had his name on your sentence, regardless of how you uttered another man’s name. “yes, i like woobin. but it seems like he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“maybe you should… try moving on?”

the way taeyoung suggested the same thing made you laugh, confusing the person beside you. to move on, huh? was that what the universe wanted you to do? to move on? a smile lingered on your visage, as you stepped on the stairs with taeyoung following you behind. it was just funny how he thought you were in love with woobin, when in fact the flower he adored the most was living in your lungs. that he was the person you were in love with, not any other person.

stopping at the front step, the worry that sat on his orbitals didn’t waver. the look asking if you’d be alright tonight— you already knew the answer. “take care, okay? if you need anything, just call me. good night.”

as soon as you closed the door, it began. the coughing that seemingly just waited for you to step into your unit came rushing. a petal waving in the air before meeting the ground. “i need your love, taeyoung. i badly need it.”

the smell of freshly done pancakes wafted up to your bed, a few noises coming from the kitchen followed. it was a gentle alarm that pushed you to wake up and get out of your bed. too groggy, a foot still on the dream you were having, you didn’t think that whoever was in the kitchen could be a thief or anything. well, who in their proper mind would cook food for the owner of the house if they were only to snatch things after?

a few days ago, you had an extreme case of hanahaki, something that led you to stay in the hospital overnight. after that, it had seemed to subside or at least be more gentle during the evening, resulting in more hours of sleep.

“woobin?” you called his name as you watched him turn off the stove, placing the fluffy pancakes onto a plate. there was already a hot chocolate ready for you to drink. you didn’t even question how he got inside. probably jungmo, the landowner, gave him the code to your room. oh, talk about privacy.

his smile was as warm as the morning sunrays. “good morning.” his voice was a little hoarse, normally you wouldn’t really pay attention to that. when he recorded songs too much in a day, he’d end up with such. but now that you knew he was experiencing hanahaki, a question hung in your head. was it because of the coughing? your thoughts dropped at the sound of his voice, still mellow regardless. “i’ve cooked you breakfast.”

“don’t you have work to do?” you asked, remembering how during the past days he’d been telling you about his new work— the slot in that pharmaceutical company as a medicinal chemist. you dragged a chair before occupying it, looking at him as he placed all the things he used in the sink. a curve became visible on your lips as your eyes fell to what he prepared. it was just pancakes, but it was woobin’s pancakes. he was such an amazing cook, you could vouch for that. “thank you by the way.”

“work? ah yeah.” he took the seat adjacent to yours, a cup of coffee in his hands. he grinned at you and you swore, your heart was in ultimate chaos when you heard his next words. “i took on the job of taking care of you for free starting today.”

sunlight filtered through the glass door of the flower shop, highlighting the wide variety of spring flowers. ranunculus, tulips, and calla lilies were all displayed along with other non-seasonal plants. there weren't a lot of customers coming, given that there were flowers available to be picked up in some public gardens. regardless, there were still a few who would come and get flowers arranged for some special occasions. but then again, it was just morning. it was rather too early to judge the possible count of customers later.

“jungmo’s coughing out petals now,” allen, one of the workers in the flower shop. said.

taeyoung looked at him, pausing his actions of tying a yellow ribbon in the bouquet of tulips. with a brow raised, he asked, “hanahaki?”

putting the freshly done arrangement of peonies, allen tapped on the counter which called the attention of the delivery man. he pointed out the card which contained the address and watched the other go out to deliver the item. dragging a stool to sit on, he stretched his arms. “seems to be. he’s coughing out petals of his crush’s favorite flower, crocus. i don’t think it’s a mere crush now though.”

“oh, so the flower that blooms in a body experiencing hanahaki would be the favorite flower of the person they like?” taeyoung asked as he finished the bouquet he was working on. he retrieved stems of roses and cut them nicely, removing the thorns and excess leaves.

“yes,” allen replied. “you like roses right?”

taeyoung only nodded, a memory alighting in his head. it can’t be—

“that means the person who likes you, but ends up with a one-sided love would end up having roses in their chest,” allen continued, causing taeyoung’s hand to stop from moving. the younger’s eyes fixated on the collection of red roses in his hands.

“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.

there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”

the flower growing in your chest was his favorite flower, roses?

it was him all this time?

right at that moment, there was one thing taeyoung would want to address himself as. an idiot. realizations came crashing to him like a powerful wave that held no mercy. it was ice cold, his body freezing at each thought that his mind welcomed.

the petals he found on your desk weren't there because of a silly game of he loves me, he loves me not. it was the petals you coughed out and forgot to clean.

“are you okay?” allen asked, momentarily snapping taeyoung out of his daze.

the twisting on taeyoung stomach was unbearable. his heart racing not with flutters, but rather with anxious thoughts. he was the cause of your pain?

with an almost inaudible voice, taeyoung let out of his horror. “y/n likes me.”

continuous taps on the keyboard, words appearing on the screen only for the flow to stop with punctuation. in sync, the doorbell rang. you no longer wondered who it was. it had always been him.

you stood up and shuffled towards the door, opening it before welcoming the male with a warm curve in your face. “it’s lunch already?”

woobin nodded, handing you a bag of still hot dishes he cooked probably not more than an hour ago. he followed you as you made your way to the dining area. when the male said he’d be taking care of you starting that specific breakfast, he stuck to his words, visiting you almost every day. the only exception was when he had to meet a producer. his own album was in the process of being finalized.

you placed the bag down and woobin walked towards your cupboard. where to find the things was already memorized. it was as if he was living in the very unit.

“so how’s your morning?” he asked as he placed two plates on the table.

“woke up a bit late, but i was able to finish the last set of poetry i’ve been meaning to write!” the spark in your eyes was a lot brighter than the past days. it was easily contagious as woobin found himself having the same amount of glee. “i’ll print the last parts and let you read, wait.”

woobin shook his head, a smile crossing his brim as he watched you go to your workspace to do what you said. as he finished setting up your lunch, he took a seat and waited for you. just like you, woobin was experiencing fewer symptoms. his voice was no longer that raspy and he was able to post new song covers almost every week regardless of his current busy schedule with other recordings.

“here!” with unwavering enthusiasm, you extended your hand for him to reach the printed papers. you sat on the seat across him, gazing at the food which only made your mouth water. eyes already feeding off the sight of the meat dishes.

“this is quite interesting,” woobin remarked. “is this the last one?”

you nodded at his words when he showed you the last page. “i figured that it could be the best way to end it.”

“it sure does.” woobin served you by putting meat on the top of your rice. “eat up.”

just like the past days, you enjoyed lunch with woobin. a few talks here and there, though most of the time the two of you were silent. not the terrible kind of silence, but a good one. something comforting. and maybe that kind of silence was all you needed.

after the meal, the two of you sat on the couch. the television served as background noise as you run down the things you have to do this afternoon.

“you seem to be happier the past days, did you get yourself another contract?” woobin asked once you were done telling him where to drive you today, the flower shop and to your editor’s place.

“i do?” you caught sight of the lone photograph of roses on your wall. the poetry that accompanied it once was now resting on your table. “i haven’t been coughing recently.” your cheerfulness evident when your eyes wrinkled into crescents as you turned your head towards the direction where woobin was sitting. “maybe he’s starting to like me!”

a soft beam hugged woobin’s visage, contented with the result you were having. for your own flower to stop blooming, that was all he wished for. his mind got him best though, speaking without much thought as he eyed the last poem you wrote once again. “or maybe you’re starting to like him less.”

blinking in confusion, woobin handed you back the printed papers you gave him earlier. it was on the last page. the words were probably a clear indication of your feelings.

zest gone. pen dropped. book closed. lock kept. no word survived.

those words weren’t the most gleeful of words, but it carried freedom. something you’d been wishing you could get out of taeyoung’s labyrinth of roses. something you never knew would finally come to you.

“right?” woobin pulled you out of your own thoughts. “i’ve been coughing less as well and i can guarantee that you’re the only one i like.”

“that means…?”

“you’re slowly moving on, y/n.” woobin gave your head a light pat. his beam growing warmer as he looked at you. “you’re moving on.”

before going to the place where you were to meet your editor, you asked woobin to stop by the flower shop. knowing your editor, she’d probably love some dahlias and irises.

upon entering the shop, the same floral scent you had been accustomed to since you were younger embraced you. however, instead of taeyoung greeting you, the expression in his face— wide eyes after a gasp— was a little perplexing. you raised a brow at him, stepping closer to the counter with woobin following you from behind.

“dah—”

“can we have a moment?” taeyoung’s question interrupted your own set of words.

with a head tilted to the side, you didn’t make an effort to hide your confusion. the seemingly forced smile he had, which was quite too awkward for your liking was not a help at all. you turned to look at woobin, asking if it would be alright for him to wait. “will it be okay?”

“sure.” woobin shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as he could. something he was successful in doing so. “i’ll buy you a drink while i wait. just send me a message if you’re done.”

“thank you, woobin.” and with those words said, you watched woobin leave the establishment. as soon as he did, your stomach sunk. there was no one else in the flower shop, it seemed like the other staff had already left.

taeyoung gestured to you to sit on an empty stool next to the counter, but you declined. instead, you leaned to it, urging him to speak what he wanted to talk about. he wasn’t the kind to be hesitant with such, but now, it was as if his tongue was tied in hundreds of knots and words can’t just be delivered.

“you’re experiencing hanahaki, right?” a stiff start. not only you, but taeyoung could feel how unnatural it sounded. no cheeky grins, no bright tone. it was flat and dripping with nervousness you weren’t aware taeyoung could be under the state of. “how are you?”

“i’m alright.” you chuckled at his words, letting loose of the already tensed atmosphere. as much as you were nervous for what was to come, you didn’t want it to spread on your formerly cheerful mood. “come on, taeyoung. i’m not going to be mad or anything.”

it partially helped taeyoung who had a small smile on his visage. but his eyes were still unable to meet yours as he locked his gaze on something else, the flowers healthily blooming inside the shop. “you were coughing out… roses, right?”

you hummed as a reply. finally taking the offer to sit. “yes, your favorite.”

“that means that you like me?” taeyoung took the seat next to your stool.

surprisingly, instead of worrying about how your little secret got figured out, you had an opposite feeling. you were relieved. there was no anxiety about him giving you the possibly worst rejection, no concern about how he could possibly shatter a thorned heart.

whatever made him realize such a thing, you were thankful. at least you no longer have to go through excessive explanations.

but there was something you would want to clarify.

“i used to like you a lot,” you said, giving an emphasis to the phrase: used to. a relieved sigh left your lips, satisfied with how everything was happening. it wasn’t as bad as you imagined. “you don’t have to worry now though, i’m gradually moving on.”

“still. you had to suffer from that for years,” he trailed. “i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay taeyoung.” your tight-lipped smile turned into a genuine one. the moment you shifted your gaze to look at taeyoung, you met his eyes. regardless of the pain it brought you, there was in no way you saw yourself blaming taeyoung. you liked him. and that summed it up. “your brightness was a blessing and never did i regret liking you despite the thorns and petals brought by it.”

his slightly soaked eyes were an indication of his former worry, which was slowly being washed away by a good amount of reassurance. “i’m glad.”

“you no longer have to worry about the roses, taeyoung.” stripping down the photographs on your wall for the past days, you replaced them with other photographs. you were sure the delusion was coming to an end. yes, the roses were indeed beautiful. but its thorn wasn’t as astonishing. “it’s withering.”

a stray tear slipped out of your eye and taeyoung didn’t only catch the tear, his arms were wrapped around you in such a warm hug. you were sure no petals would come out of your lips again. the warmth that embraced your body conveyed a closing home.

it’s time to move out and find a home that has no garden.

you no longer despised the spring. the beautiful flowers surrounding the town were no longer catching distasteful looks from you. your lungs free from spring. hand wrapped around woobin’s, the warm rays of the remaining afternoon sunlight filtered through the thick leaves of the trees the two of you would pass by.

another book was published, all containing the last words for your former muse. the title didn’t hide anything, quite an obvious choice: kalopsia.

three times a week you would go out for a book signing while woobin, now your boyfriend, would fetch you every time. he was busy himself with the recording of his album which was to be released by the end of the month. but he never missed going to the venue where your book signing would take place. by now, he probably had about nine signed copies of your book.

“you experienced hanahaki as well, right?” you asked woobin as you passed by a shop that had orchids hanging on the wall. petals of lush yellow, pink and purple decorating it.

woobin chuckled, taken aback by your unexpected question. “i did.”

“how was it?”

“it was weird. i mean coughing out petals so suddenly.” he looked at you, only to see your furrowed brows. something that made him laugh once again. “what do you expect me to answer?”

“that made you realize that you like me?”

“don’t be silly. even before the first petal left my lips, i knew i already liked you.” a contented smile graced his brim. even before that, the way his heart would thump in his chest as if it had run a marathon, the way a dumb smile would hang on his lips once he saw you, the way he would be subconsciously adoring you while you were busy writing, the way he wanted to be beside you, the way he wished to hold you closer— it all happened before a petal of orchid escaped the confines of his mouth.

a faint blush became apparent on your cheeks, giving it such a cute color. “and up until now you still like me…”

“correction, it’s liked. past tense,” woobin said, laughing at how your expression shifted. he took a big step and stopped right in front of you, he turned to face you with his hand still holding yours. “now, i love you.”

the weather wasn’t as hot since the sun was preparing for the twilight, but your cheeks were. it was accompanied by the wild flutters in your stomach. letting go of woobin’s hand (a reflex to hide how flustered his words got you), your ears were enveloped by his sweet, sweet chuckle. you walked past through him in such rushed footsteps, a peal of laughter escaping your lips as you did so. “i can’t believe you had to say that in that way.”

however, you were not even that far from him when woobin caught you. your steps halted when he locked you in a back hug, giving your cheek a light peck which simply made it more flushed. “i love you more than you’d ever know,” he carefully whispered to your ear.

you chuckled at the gestures, his words tickling you. regardless of how playful it seemed to be, you knew woobin was dead serious with it. he detached himself from you, only to hold your hand once more and walk beside you.

glancing at your interlaced fingers, you leaned your head to his shoulder. “i love you too, woobin.”

“i love you so much, y/n,” he replied, gently squeezing your hand.

to be able to look at the flowers without thinking about how they budded in your body, to rest every evening without worrying about the petals disrupting your serene night, to be right next to the person you love and loves you, there was nothing else you could wish for.

the flowers in your chest had long ago stopped blooming. it went the same way with woobin. but little did you know... orchids started blooming on someone else’s body, slowly growing on the chest of the person who once caused you to have roses hugging your lungs.

and just like how you first found those roses beautiful, taeyoung thought those orchids were too.

[speechlessxx]

For Better, For Worse II (Ransom Drysdale x Reader)

Summary: In which the reader honors her vows.

Warnings: Language, Soft Ransom (is that a warning?), SPOILERS (if you haven’t watched Knives Out & you should get on that lol), bad writing, angst, flashbacks, slight violence, hints of mental illness, it’s also not proofread

Word Count: 1762

Feedback is appreciated!

READ PART ONE HERE

When you first met Ransom, he was nothing short of a complete asshole. He flirted aimlessly and got what he wanted – a true spoiled brat. You were the first girl he ever encountered that simply shrugged him off and told him to ‘get lost’. From that moment, he was infatuated with you.

You remembered how he’d walk you to class despite his being on the opposite side of the campus. He asked you out on multiple dates and you shot him down every single time. You remembered how your friends discouraged you from falling for him. Like them, you were under the notion that Hugh Ransom Drysdale was nothing but a trust-fund prick. But sometimes – and it was rare, you promised yourself – you found yourself enjoying his company.

It would be as you were walking from the library back to your dorms. You would drop your books. And like a scene straight out a movie, Ransom would materialize out of nowhere and help you pick up your belongings.

It would be at a party and your friends had gone off with their significant others, effectively leaving you stranded and alone. Ransom would wave away at his friends as he took the empty spot next to you on the wall.

“I hate Professor Fitzgerald.” He muttered to you.

“You don’t have that class?” You tilted your head.

“No, but you do. English 1302.  And I know you hate him.” Ransom smirked as he took a sip from his red cup.

“And how would you know that?” You asked.

“Because every time you’d walk out of his lecture, you have the cutest little crease between your brows.” You frowned at his words.

“I do not,” you scoffed.

Ransom only chuckled, pointing at your face. “See! Right there!”

You laughed, pushing him away. “You have it, too.” Ransom frowned, mockingly. “Aha! Right there!”

“What a pair we are, huh?”

“Fuck off, Drysdale.”

“Keep saying it enough, it’ll be yours.” He laughed.

“What?”

“My last name. Keep saying it enough, it’ll be yours.” He said, matter-of-factly.

“Whatever, Hugh.”

You remembered months after his constant ‘courting’ of you, he showed up to your dorm. It was in the middle of a Friday night – your roommate had gone to a party – and it was pouring. He was soaked from the rain and he gave you a sluggish smile and held out a bouquet of lilies, your favorite flower. You were about to slam the door in his face when he stopped it.

-=+=-

“Why don’t you want me?” He asked you and for a second, he sounded hurt. You scoffed in response as you tried to pry his hands off from wood of the door. “Seriously,” Ransom continued, “I’m trying.”

“You’re trying?” You laughed, coldly. “You’re borderline stalking me, Hugh.” He cringed as his first name left your mouth. “You’re just playing a stupid game. How much did you bet?”

Ransom frowned. “Bet?”

“Yeah. How much are your buddies giving you once you announce to the world you got me in bed? How ‘bout you just tell your friends you bagged me and leave me the fuck alone!”

“It’s not a bet, (Y/N).” Ransom shook his head, a small smile creeping onto his. “I’m not playing a game. If anything, you are.”

“How am I playing a game?” You snapped.

“Because clearly, I like you and you just keep playing hard to get. But fine by me.” He coughed a bit. You stopped trying to slam the door in his face – and possibly his hand – when you realized how pale he looked. “I’ll keep playing your game. I’ll keep putting in more and more effort ‘cause damn, you’ve got me under your spell.”

“Ransom…” you muttered as he broke into a fit of coughs. “Oh god, come in.” You opened the door wide enough so that the poor boy could come in. “Take off your clothes.”

“Woah, woah… I don’t know what you think of me, missy,” he laughed, “but I’m trying to take you out on a date first.”

“That’s a first, huh?” You teased.

“Believe it or not, yeah.”

“I’m trying to dry them, dipshit.” You laughed as he shrugged off his coat.

-=+=-

He had the world fooled that he was a complete dick, but the more you got to know him, the more you realized, it stemmed from his insecurities. His attitude was a defense mechanism because of how awful his family could be.

But with you, he was different. He was kinder and softer. And the more he let you in, the more you fell in love with him.

The Ransom you fell in love with wasn’t a monster like how the news articles said he was.

The Ransom you married wasn’t a murderer.

And yet, he confessed to you that he was.

He told you that if it weren’t for dirty cops and what was left of his mother’s wealth, he’d be locked away for his crimes.

He told you the story. And, no, he didn’t tell you any lies. Ransom was many things, but he could never lie to you. Not you. He told you the complete, unfiltered truth with all the grimy details that he didn’t even tell the cops or his lawyers.

So, where did that leave you?

-=+=-

When you first told your family that you were separating from Ransom, they were happy for you. They told you he was no good. They said that you were blessed enough that you didn’t bear his children – that nothing but your last name tied you to him.

But that wasn’t true.

Your heart still belonged to him. Every beat called his name.

So, maybe that’s why you didn’t run. That’s why you took him into your arms after he told you the story of how he killed Fran and tried to frame Marta for his grandfather’s death. Maybe that’s why you kissed the crease between his brows and told him that you love him despite it all.

-=+=-

“Your father called,” Ransom sighed as you walked in the house, arms filled with groceries. He walked over, grabbing the bags from your hands and setting them on the table.

“What he say?” You didn’t need to ask. You knew. You knew your family’s opinions about the man you married and the family you were marrying into. You knew they’d support your separation more than they’d support your reunion.

“Called me a monster,” Ransom huffed. “Oh, but what’s new, huh?”

“You aren’t a monster, Rans,” you muttered, kissing his cheek as you began to unload the groceries.

“You don’t want a divorce?” The words stunned you. Divorce. It was so ugly. The mere thought made you cringe. “That’s what your father told me to tell you. File for divorce as fast as you can before you’re next.”

The house quickly became silent as a tension filled the home. The thought hadn’t crossed your mind until a few weeks ago when you were on the phone with your parents. They talked your ear off, telling you that staying with Ransom was the worst decision you ever made. ‘You’re taking a risk just by being in the same house!’ your mother cried. ‘You’re going to be his next kill, (Y/N)!’.

You never thought you were in any danger around Ransom. Despite what the world may think of him, he wasn’t a coldblooded monster. Not when it came to you.

But the possibility was still there. Your parents reminded you of that every time you spoke.

“No, Ransom.” You said. “I don’t want a divorce.”

Ransom’s face was expressionless as he stared at you. You sighed as you continued to put away the groceries. Your father had no right to tell your husband that. Your marriage – and your decision to stay in it – was completely your choice.

“You don’t think I’ll hurt you?” Ransom blurted. You stopped what you were doing. His tone was different. It was colder. “You don’t think you’re next?” You stayed silent because you knew he was about to explode. “Because… that’s what the news thinks. That’s what the police think, too, I’m sure. That’s obviously what your family thinks – I’m sure mine think the same. Everyone thinks that I’m some coldhearted murderer and that my naïve, sweet wife will meet the same fate as the housekeeper.” His voice got louder and louder as he got closer to you. He slammed the cupboard shut, making you flinch at the sound. “So, tell me! Is that what you think? Do you think you’re next, huh!” You stayed silent. “Answer me!”

“Ransom,” you whimpered. His eyes quickly became soft as he took a step back. In his rage, he had frightened you. He scared you. He scared his one ally.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered.

“It’s okay.” You nodded. “It’s alright.” You weren’t scared at all. You understood his frustration. Everyone was assuming one thing – Ransom was a monster – and that simply wasn’t true.

“No, it’s not.” He backed away. He wasn’t trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him by any means. He was afraid of himself. He was afraid that on one bad day, he’d snap. He had taken one life away, what’s to stop him from killing the love of his life? Ransom wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have – “

“Ransom, it’s fine,” you shushed as you rushed over to him. You carefully wrapped your arms around your husband, stroking his back. “You won’t hurt me. It’s okay.”

“But what if one day I do?” He asked. Ransom sighed as he looked down at you. “Sometimes, I can’t help but feel angry. Like there’s something in me that’ll just snap, and I’ll lash out. And it’ll tear me apart if I lash out at you.”

“Have you said that to your therapist?” You asked him. The court had assigned a therapist that came by your home once a week. Ransom didn’t like him – or so he said he didn’t. Ransom huffed in response. “That’s something you should bring up in your next session, Rans.”

“I’m just afraid I’ll hurt you.”

“You won’t. I trust that you won’t because you aren’t a monster, Ransom. Despite what everyone might think, that’s not who you are.” He dug his face in the crook of your neck, finding comfort in your arms. “And one day, everyone will see you how I see you.”

“I love you, (Y/N).” He muttered though it was muffled. He placed a delicate kiss at the base of your neck.

“I love you too, Ransom.”

[firefly-in-darkness]

Misconceptions - 6/12

Characters: Y/N, the Avengers, Marcus (OC).

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series Summary: Bucky Barnes overhears a conversation that he shouldn’t have… and now he regrets his reaction…

Word Count: 1.8k 

Warnings: Angst, jealousy...

Beta: The always lovely, Stacey - @princessmisery666​ // all mistakes are my own.

A/N: Erm... so yeah this happened... I think this is gonna be a 10 parter... with an epilogue... just fo a little extra somthing... or it could be another 5 parts. Who knows right now, I’m enjoying this story too much to give it up just yet! Hope you like the new part too - love the feedback as always

Catch up with the series here: Misconceptions Series List

Return to Firefly’s Library & Masterlist

Previously: It wasn’t until Sam started putting the cards back on the window sill that Y/N realised that there was nothing from Bucky. Has he even been to see me? With now only the glow of the small lamp and the beep of the machines filling her ears, she let the tears fall.

It had been nearly two weeks since she'd been rescued and brought to the medical wing. She was slowly starting to hate being here, she felt fine and just wanted to go back to her apartment in the compound. It also didn’t help to have the constant reminder from the cards, gifts and visitors that the one person that she wanted to see, still hadn't entered through the door.

Once more, Y/N awoke to the soft hum and the repetitive beep from the machines. Her blurred vision took in the soft light from the lamp and the navy sky beyond the window. It must have only been a couple of hours since she fell asleep after Clint’s visit.

She heard the door opening behind her, feigning sleep to find out who her visitor was. She couldn’t be sure if it was a certain super soldier paying her a visit, but after the team visiting her earlier who else could it have been? Y/N tried to keep her breath steady, hoping her heartbeat remained normal too, otherwise the machines she was hooked up to would betray her. 

Footsteps edged towards the seat beside her bed and she couldn’t have been more relieved that she was facing the other way.

“Hi sweetheart.” Bucky’s voice was almost a whisper, “Sorry I didn’t visit sooner. Sam’s a tough bodyguard. But even he must sleep at some point. Hopefully, I won't have to sneak in every night for much longer.”

Her heart skipped as his words washed over her. Every night? She scolded herself for thinking he wouldn't visit and made a mental note to reprimand her best friend for keeping him away when she was awake.

She was glad that she had feigned her sleep and prayed that he would continue talking but silence filled the room. If it wasn’t for the whirring of his Vibranium arm or the slight deep breath he took every now and then, she would have thought he’d left.

Y/N heard the muffled voice of Bucky, she’d fallen asleep again, but he was still here, the dark sky was slowly lightening, and she focused on his words as best as she could through her hazy thoughts.

“- Wanda’s been baking cookies, Vision is slowly getting the hang of using doors and Natasha is losing her mind without her drinking buddy.” Bucky scoffed, “I miss my movie nights with you Y/N. It’s only been a couple of weeks but yeah, I miss it. I miss you.”

“I shouldn’t have left you on your own. If I’d been with you like I was supposed to have been then you wouldn’t have ended up here...” Bucky leant his elbows on his knees, head in his hands and sighed.

His thoughts were consumed once more with the phone call he'd overheard, and the way Sam had protected Y/N without hesitation. The affection he had seen through the little window in the door; holding hands, forehead kisses, helping change her clothes, the laughter that filled the room. 

Fuck it, I need to say something. Bucky steeled himself and sat up straighter.

“I should tell you this when you’re awake but I-”

A shuffle from the bed had Bucky’s attention, Y/N had rolled over to face him and began to rub at her right eye.

“Buck?” Her quiet yet hoarse voice melted him.

“Hi Y/N, it’s early, go back to sleep.”

“I’ve slept enough for the last two weeks to survive an early wake-up call.” Her sleepy smile beamed at him, squishing the side of her face further into the pillow. 

“I guess you're right.” Bucky gave her a soft smile and ran his fingers through his short locks, “so how much of that did you hear?”

“Enough. Please don't feel guilty about what happened to me.”

“Y/N-”

She raised her hand, “Nope, it happened because I decided to leave at stupid o’clock.”

Bucky couldn't help but still feel responsible for what had happened to Y/N and now he felt worse for making her leave.

“I know you wished it was Sam on the mission.” His shoulders sagged and he sunk back into the seat. “I overheard you on the phone that night.”

He watched for Y/N’s reaction; her eyes widened, and mouth opened and closed several times but what surprised him was the way her cheeks were dusted pink.

“It’s okay, I get it. You two are really close.” Bucky stood up, collecting a brown paper bag from the floor and opening it.

Y/N’s silence made Bucky nervous, but he delved into the bag and grabbed the plums, placing them into the bowl. “I know it’s not much, but I remembered how much you liked the ones from the market.”

“Thank you, Buck.” She smiled, not taking her eyes off the fruit bowl on the table at the end of the bed.

Bucky headed towards the door and with a slight nod he left.

Y/N sighed at the sound of the door clicking shut, her eyes still focused on the plums. Of course, he visited and brought something. She was annoyed at herself for thinking he didn’t care, that she was too wrapped up in her selfishness. Bucky had occupied the table at the end of the bed with plums and fresh daisies. 

It was a reminder of their trip to Bucharest, revisiting his recent past. It was only a few months ago. They had eaten delectable fruit as they weaved through the market stalls, sat in a local park and made daisy-chains for hours. Bucky had delicately weaved the flowers and created a crown, placing it atop her head. When her attempt failed, she tucked a single daisy behind his ear.

Tears welled in her eyes as she thought of Bucky’s infectious smile as they laid in the luscious grass, the sound of the city muffled by their bubble. This was the moment that she knew that her crush was something more. Her heart had ached at the way he spoke of the women he had recently dated, and she obliged him with telling her own dating stories. They were all fake, but they eased the tension in her chest.

And now he knew, he had heard her phone conversation with Sam. It explained the way he had disappeared that night, he couldn’t be near her. Her mind reeled with how he had blatantly courted a woman in front of her, brought her back to the hotel suite. He was trying to tell her that he was not interested in her, not in the way she hoped at least.

The tears cascaded down her cheeks, small sobs racked through her already sore body. Bucky could never find me attractive, let alone love me. They had their friendship and that had to be enough. She used the heel of her hand to wipe at her cheeks, vowing to not cry over him anymore.

Two Months Later…

Y/N eased back into training. It was difficult at first but slowly she got back into the rhythm of working out and after multiple therapy sessions, she was on track to returning to the field once more. She had her downfalls along the way but with the help of her friends and therapist, she picked herself back up.

A small smile rested on her lips as she stretched on the mats, ready for a sparring session with Sam. It was the highlight of her week, taking down the all-talk-no-action Falcon. Speaking of the devil, his laughter echoed across the room, catching Y/N’s attention. She glanced up to see her best friend, clinging to his sides at something he had probably said; Steve blushed, and Bucky shook his head in annoyance.

Y/N’s smile faltered slightly, seeing the super soldier had her thinking of how their friendship had changed since that night. Everything seemed like it was back to normal on the surface, but things were different, and she couldn’t avoid accepting that any longer. Sparring with Bucky was completely off the cards, he had confirmed that as soon as she was back in the gym. 

‘I can’t spar with you.’ - No reason. No explanation. Nothing. 

Bucky no longer joined her when she and Sam headed out of the compound to go shopping, trying new restaurants and bars. Movie nights were no longer their thing, he had brought Wanda and Nat into the fold. Not that Y/N minded the girls being there, but it was still a prick to her heart.

“Hi, erm, Y/N?” The male voice brought her out of her thoughts.

She continued wrapping her hands and gave him a slight smile, “Yes, Agent Reynolds?”

Y/N looked over the tall tanned man, the short caramel locks a mess on his head, a few strands sticking to his forehead. She had become fond of him over the last couple of weeks; not only was he an incredible recruit, he’d been a good laugh whenever they’d been in the gym at the same time. Much like earlier today when they caught up over by the water fountain before hitting their own routines.

“You can call me Marcus,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I was just wondering if you’d like to go out for a drink sometime? Or dinner? Maybe?”

Y/N glanced over his shoulder. Eyes landing immediately on Bucky with his arm wrapped around Nat’s shoulders. Her stomach dropped and she turned back to Marcus, who patiently awaited her response. She knew it was time to move on, maybe a little bit of fun is what she needs right now.

She smirked and held out her phone. “With that uncertainty, I don’t know... How about we exchange numbers and you give me a call when you’ve decided on dinner or drinks, or both?”

Marcus’ cheeks dusted a light pink and Y/N was glad she hadn’t lost her touch. Maybe that only applied to the Super Soldier. Her charm and flirting seemed to have caught Marcus’ attention, so maybe it wasn’t her after all.

He punched in the number and called his phone, the little chime from his pocket confirming it had gone through. Handing it back to Y/N just as Sam jogged over to them.

“Are you ready to get your ass whooped, Y/N?” he chuckled, giving her a toothy grin.

Y/N tilted her head with a mischievous pout, “Oh boy, someone’s had their cocky pills today.”

Continue Here...

Taglist: @supraveng​ / @iheartsebastianstan​ / @jessyballet​ / @likeit-or-leaveit​ / @inspocollective-blog​ / @ladifrickinda​ / @wintersoldierissucharide​ / @michelehansel​ / @danietoww04​ / @booboobella01​ / @thefandomimagines​ / @justreadingfics​ / @socalgem1124​ / @a--1--1--3​ / @notyourtypicalrose​ / @winterboobear11​ / @justlovelifeblog​ / @polireader​ / @hailmary-yramliah​ / @rainbowkisses31​ / @gooddaykate​ / @moonybarnes​ / @samthemarvelfan​ / @unlikelygalaxygiver​ / @youaremyfiveever​ / @hennessy0274-blog​ / @hola-mishamigos-its-marvel-time​ / @babydollofbarnes​ / @bonkywobble​ / @weird-mumbling​

[r1ntaros]

falling // jeong yunho

SYNOPSIS: After experiencing countless messy break ups, Yunho can't seem to find himself to love and to be loved once again. Not until he met y/n who’s as broken as him. Sharing their stories, Yunho found out that they’re almost the same but their difference is Yunho can help himself be whole again after being shattered into pieces. But y/n? Well, maybe God has plans as to why they met each other.

PAIRING: Yunho x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst

WORD COUNT: 4.5k

SONG RECOMMENDATION: falling by harry styles

WARNINGS: mentions of drinking, cheating, cursing, verbal fighting, emotional breakdowns, toxic relationships, self doubts, unhealthy way of coping up with heartbreaks

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! This is my first work for the tag, hehe. I also have another work drafted but it's quite long so I decided to post a /shorter/ one first to test the waters since I'm too shy sharing my works because I know I'm not that great of a writer ssjdjsjk. Some character names are also made by me and doesn't exist in real life. I'm so sorry for grammatical errors as well! English is not my first language >.< Feedbacks are welcome and accepted, enjoy!

Masterlist

Silently sitting at the couch of a friend’s party, Yunho chugged down his 3rd bottle of beer for the night. Just today, his fourth girlfriend decided to break up with him through text, saying their usual “it’s not you, it’s me” line that he is tired of hearing.

As much as it’s supposed to sound reassuring, he can’t help but think that maybe there really is something wrong with him as a boyfriend. Does he not spare them enough time and attention? Does he spend way too much time with his friends? Does he always stay up late all the damn time, playing his god forsaken video games and occasionally forgetting to text his past significant others back unintentionally?

He really can’t answer his own questions but he knows.. he fucking knows that he’s nothing but a good, loyal boyfriend to those who he used to date. But why do they always leave him?

He felt someone nudged on his knee, cutting him off of his thoughts. Looking at that person, he saw Mingi with eyes full of concern. “Dude, we’ve been looking for you for the past five minutes already then I see you sitting on the couch, glaring at everyone. What’s wrong?”

San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.

San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.

San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.

“There’s our Yunho!” He exclaimed which gained the others attention, some even greeting him with enthusiasm as they went back to playing. He silently sat beside Wooyoung who looked at him full of curiosity. Usually when they party, he’s one of those causing chaos but due to how he’s acting now, Wooyoung must’ve sensed that there’s something wrong.

He put his arm over Yunho’s shoulder and shook him slightly, “What’s bothering you, bud?”

That single, simple sentence seems to break all the emotions and questions that Yunho’s been keeping to himself as he felt his eyes get teary and he asked, “Is there something wrong with me?” 

The chaos surrounding him suddenly became calm as the rest of his friends circled him. No one spoke and the silence was unbearable until Hongjoong decided to break it.

“Yunho, what happened?”

He took a deep shaky breath, “Eunhae broke up with me.”

A scoff was heard and everyone looked at Yeosang, “See what I told you? This is what you get for not listening, Yunho.” He said as Yunho stared at him with a hardened expression.

Hongjoong, who’s trying to do damage control, decided to peel Yeosang away from their circle but the younger broke free, “Yeosang, now’s not the time–”

“Now’s not the time to what, Hongjoong?” Yeosang spit out with so much hatred, making Hongjoong look away. The younger man proceeds to walk and stand in front of Yunho, gripping both of his arms tightly, “Jeong Yunho, what did I tell you? She’s not good for you, she’s–”

“Gonna break your heart and leave you broken like the rest of them did. I know, Yeosang. I know.” Yunho cut him off, voice full of regret, “I should’ve listened to you.” He said, this time, with a small voice.

Yeosang just rolled his eyes and pulled Yunho in a hug with his head on his chest, steadied by the smaller’s hand. The action caught him off guard and all of a sudden, the only thing he could feel and hear is his sobs breaking free from his mouth, tears falling down from his eyes as his body trembles in brokenness.

The whole pool house was silent and the only thing that’s audible is the ongoing party happening outside. His friends let him cry until he’s too tired and broken to let anything out. Wiping his eyes, he giggled tiredly,  “I’m a fucking fool. I don’t want to love anymore. I just want to be loved the way I deserve.”

No one spoke but his friends’ hearts broke at what he said. Yunho is loved by everyone but he’s just too engrossed in giving away his heart to someone that he didn’t notice it.

Wooyoung removed the hair from his eyes and whispered, “Let’s get you home, buddy, so you can rest. You consumed enough alcohol.”

“I’m not fucking drunk, I want to drink more!” He tries to argue, making Seonghwa speak up, “You may not be drunk but you’re tired and have alcohol in your system. That’s not healthy. You know that drinking is not the healthiest way to cope up with heartbreak, Yunho.”

“Let me be!” He shouted as he tried to pry off Wooyoung’s grasp on him as he tried to stand up to get more alcohol.

“No I won’t let you be!” Seonghwa argued back, pushing him down to where he’s seated, the tension coming back again, “You’re broken enough and if you drink more you’ll be nothing but an unrepairable mess and I don’t want that. We don’t want that to happen.”

Sinking the older’s words in, Yunho has no choice but to agree. Seonghwa’s right, damn, he is always right. He decided to silently follow Wooyoung to his car and the drive back home was silent. No one spoke until they arrived at his condominium.

“Take care of yourself, Yunho.” Wooyoung said, “We care for you. We love you, always remember that. I know it’s tiring but we’re always here to help you be whole again.” After saying those words, he decided to drive away and go back to Jongho’s house.

Entering his apartment, he didn’t bother to turn on the lights and decided to do his night routine and lay down in his bed as he looked at the view of the city on his window, thinking about Wooyoung’s words. It helped bring a slight smile on his face as he decided to let himself slip off to dreamland.

—

The next day, Yunho decided to visit his favorite coffee shop to grab his usual favorite treats for the morning to start it well instead of moping around because he got his heart broken.

Arriving at the cafe, he was greeted by the Mrs. Kim, the lady who owns and baked the treats in this coffee shop, “Good morning sweetheart! Do you want the usual?” 

“Good morning Mrs. Kim! I think I’ll grab a hot chocolate instead of cold, this time.” He replied with a kind smile as he watched Mrs. Kim fusses over the cashier (who’s her daughter) to punch his orders. Haru smiled at him when she gave him his receipt but leaned forward, gesturing Yunho to do the same.

“You see that girl over there?” She asked, pointing at the girl in the corner, “She entered earlier looking sad and all. You think you can cheer her up?”

Yunho rolled his eyes, “I’m not a clown, Haru. Also, I can’t even bring myself to cheer up when I just went through a break up myself.”

Haru was taken aback by his response then she rolled her eyes, “But you don’t look broken unlike her! You look completely fine.” She pouted and gestured to the girl again, “She looked like she’ll pass out due to sadness.”

Yunho just let out a sigh, “What do I get in return?”

“Two extra cinnamon rolls under my tab.” She said and winked at him. Yunho held his hand out and she took it to seal their deal. “Good luck, Yunho!” She singsongs and Yunho just rolled his eyes.

Approaching her table, Yunho decided to tap the girl on her shoulder and she thankfully looked up but didn’t speak. The curiosity in her eyes though, was enough to voice out her question of “who are you and what are you doing here?”

Scratching the back of his head, Yunho smiled shyly, “Hi, I’m uh, Yunho. I’m alone and have no company. Is there anyone seated there?” He asked, pointing at the empty seat in front of her.

“There used to be someone seated here but they left me.” She said in a quiet voice enough for Yunho to hear but didn’t comment on it then she proceeded to answer him while shaking her head, “No one’s seated there.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I.. sit here?” He asked cautiously, “But it’s okay if you don’t want me too! I’ll just look for an empty space.”

Y/n decided to look around and noticed that the coffee shop is a bit packed. Feeling guilt immediately eating her up just in case she rejects him, she answered, “You can sit here, it’s okay.”

Without saying any more words, Yunho sat down in front of her. They were silent for a while until Yunho spoke up, “You know, me and my friend noticed that you’re actually not well.”

“Your friend?” She asked, thinking if this guy was playing with her, that he’s with someone else even if he told her no, just like what he did with her. “You’re with someone yet you told me that–”

Her sentence was cut off by a giggle from Yunho, “The cashier is the friend I’m talking about.” He clarified and she can feel the heat of shame spreading through her cheeks.

And after that, silence was there again.

No one really spoke until Yunho’s order arrived. He was munching happily on his cinnamon roll and took a sip of his hot.. coffee? Chocolate? When he looked at her and said, “You know I heard you when you said that there’s someone seated here before. Where are they?”

Y/n looked at him with an unpredictable look and that’s when Yunho realized that it must be a sensitive topic. Immediately waving his hands that are holding the utensils, he added, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it! I’m just a mere stranger, I know.”

The look of panic on his face made y/n smile a bit as he resembled a puppy that got caught doing something wrong. She picked on the loose thread of her sweater when she decided to speak up, “You know, it’s my dream to rant to a stranger because I’m certain that we won’t meet again and I think that time is now, though I’m not sure about the not meeting you again part. I’m y/n, by the way.”

A soft smile flashed through Yunho’s features as he understood what she meant, “You can speak whenever you’re ready.”

She let out a deep sigh and started, “You know the feeling when someone you gave your all just decided to fuck you up emotionally?” She asked and laughed humorlessly, “That’s what he did to me. I won’t be saying his name, I hope you don’t mind.” She added as she wiped her tired-looking eyes.

Yunho nodded silently and gestured to her to continue, “I’ve been living with my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend for six months now. We’ve been together for a year and a half after I met him at my best friend’s party. We were happy, really. After dating each other for a year, he decided to move in at my apartment unit.”

“The first three months were full of legitimate happiness. There were times where we just laze around, play with each other and sometimes do some random things. I thought it’ll stay that way but I was wrong. Somewhere around April, he started to be distant towards me. I was trying to reach him out but he just kept on pushing me away.” She paused for a while and wiped the tear that fell from her eye.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, she continued, “I thought he was just stressed with college and all but no. Somewhere mid-April, I was waiting for him to come home late at night then he went home drunk. Really really drunk. We had our fair share of parties but that’s the first time I saw him like that and he didn’t tell me that he’s going to a party as well. I mean, I wouldn’t stop him but asking for permission could’ve been nice.”

“We started screaming at each other that time and it was the first ever huge fight we had. He left my apartment that very same day and I don’t know where he went. He went home in the morning and apologized to me then of course I accepted it. Those things just continued until recently, he said something that I really won’t forget which is also the very same reason why I broke up with him.”

“He was drunk that time again when he shamelessly and proudly confessed to me that he’s been seeing my best friend and that she’s the better girlfriend than me. I mean, I’m okay with breaking up with a lying, cheating asshole but my problem is I gave up everything for him. He’s my first love and she’s my only friend who didn’t leave my side. Now I have no idea on how to bring back my life from before.” Tears were now falling down her face nonstop as she tried to wipe it off her face but the waterfall from her eyes showed no sign of stopping. Yunho frantically pulled his handkerchief on his pocket and offered it to her which she gladly accepted.

“We’re stopping here, okay? I don’t want you to faint due to crying.” Yunho said as he fidgeted with his fingers and she sobbed quietly. This girl is the same as him. Broken, left alone, not appreciated. But their difference is that he has everything she doesn’t have and can do anything she can’t. He has friends to help him fix himself and welcome him with open arms when he’s too overwhelmed with sadness and that made him realize of how fucking lucky he is.

Until now here he is, conversing with a very broken girl and thinking of a crazy thing that he never thought he’ll be doing.

Silently grabbing y/n’s trembling hands into his he smiled, “Let me help you.”

She was taken aback by what he said and before she can react, Yunho explained his intentions, “We’re both broken, my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday but that doesn’t fucking matter. Between the two of us, I can completely keep myself going. I still have friends who can help me when I’m in my most vulnerable state but you.. your only friend betrayed you and I just realized that maybe this is the time someone needs me.”

Too stunned to speak, y/n just clasped Yunho’s hands tighter, “Yunho..”

“Y/n, you don't have to say anything but please reconsider my intention. I want to help you.” 

A set of fresh tears fell down from her eyes as she looked at him. This time, with a smile. The most beautiful smile that Yunho has ever seen because no smile can be compared to a smile of a broken one.

“Thank you, Yunho.” She said in a whisper but enough for the both of them to hear.

He softly patted her hand and answered in return, “Now’s not the time to say that. Thank me when you’re whole and fixed again. Deal?”

A laugh bubbled out of y/n as she agreed, “Deal.”

Six months later…

Laying down on his bed with his eyes closed, Yunho couldn’t help but think through the sudden turn of events in his life. His mind immediately flew through the memory of the day he first met y/n. 

Weeks after their encounter, it was quite hard to reach out to her despite knowing her side of the story. They agreed to meet everyday at the same spot in the same cafe and just talk about their own feelings. Y/n had a hard time letting her emotions out during those times as she really won’t be able to speak without crying and Yunho has to offer his handkerchief all the time since she always seems to forget to bring hers all the time.

Right after that, a month passed by quickly and she started to smile and laugh more. She also met the boys who welcomed her into their circle with open arms but at the same time, she has her guards up just in case things go wrong. The boys never failed to notice it but they chose not to comment on it. She immediately warmed up to San and Wooyoung and they’re labeled as the chaotic trio in their circle. Y/n felt herself getting happier.

In the second month, however, despite having enough friends, she still finds herself going back and forth to the past. There are times where she had her emotional episodes and she’s just thankful that Yunho’s been there for her always. She spent most of her time staying over Yunho’s place than she spent in her own place, telling each other stories that the other doesn’t know and just laughing her sadness away. 

And in the last week of the second month, y/n decided to move over the empty condominium space beside Yunho’s as she reasoned out that she can’t stand the memories made in that apartment so she decided to move out. As Yunho helped her unpack with a fair share of giggles and laughter, that’s when Yunho realized that he’s healed.

In the last month of the year, which marks the fifth month after they met, Y/n seemed to go back to her normal self and Yunho saw her as a very giggly and carefree person. Yes, there were times where she remembers her ex boyfriend but instead of wallowing in sadness like she used to do, she started making fun of that memory that left her very broken before. The first time they spent Christmas together was when Yunho realized, he’s in love.

He’s falling for her and he’s scared.

He’s scared that the same thing will happen to him all over again. That after making her happy, she’ll leave him like how they did with him. Cancelling all his plans the day after that, he decided to voice out his concerns to Yeosang.

“Sang, I’m scared.” The first thing he blurted out with panicked eyes by the time Yeosang opened his apartment door. 

His friend guided him to his couch and patted him in the back, “What happened, Yunho?”

“I..” he let out a deep sigh and he felt tears pooling in his eyes, “I’m falling for y/n, Sangie.”

A breath of relief rushed out of Yeosang’s mouth and he smiled warmly, “What’s so scary about that?”

“I.. I don’t know. Maybe she’s going to leave me like all of them did. Maybe I’ll get broken again but this time I won’t be able to pick myself up and–”

“Yunho, it’s not love if it doesn’t hurt.”

Yunho was dumbfounded by his friend’s words; he opened his mouth only to find himself closing it once again, making him look like a fish gasping for air.

Yeosang stared at him intently as he took a hold in Yunho’s hand, “Yunho, listen to me. Y/n, she’s thankful for you. Though I don’t know what really happened to her the day you met but I can tell that you helped her.”

“I assure you, y/n’s not the type to leave the only person she’s relying on. She’s too grateful to do that, used to be too broken to think of that. She’s not the type to put herself in the same situation that I’m assuming other people used to put her in. And I get it, you’re scared but Yunho, the happiness she gave you is not describable by words. It’s not just me who noticed it but the other boys as well. She’s different, one of a kind.”

“Give it a try and maybe she’s the right person for you.” Yeosang said as he put finality in his words, drowning Yunho in realization.

“Yeosang..”

“I know, you’re welcome. Now go home and fix yourself. I know you had fun staying up with her yesterday.” His friend pushed him out of his apartment door and before he completely left the place Yeosang called him out once again, “If things go wrong, we’ll always be here for you.”

And that made Yunho’s heart swell in happiness.

Except, when he saw her again, Yunho just chickened out and decided to avoid her like a plague and y/n is not dumb enough to not notice it. 

January is their sixth month together and it’s also been a few weeks now since Yunho started avoiding her. It made her sad to the point that she ranted to Wooyoung and San on their separate group chat on how Yunho’s not talking to her and how it frustrates her.

Y/n, unlike Yunho, is aware of the feelings that bubbled up in her heart. The way she felt the butterflies on her stomach two months ago when she heard Yunho sing for the first time and she blatantly told herself that yep, she’s in love with her golden retriever-looking friend. She immediately told San and Wooyoung about it as the two boys called her suddenly and started squealing like high school girls in the duration of their call.

She thought that everything was going fine and she kept her secret well not until Yunho started avoiding her after they all spent the New Year’s Eve together. She started to get worried, thinking if she did something wrong.

Deciding that instead of wallowing in her own overthinking tendencies, y/n went to Yunho’s apartment and didn’t bother knocking as she punched his too familiar code at the door. It’s in the middle of the afternoon and she figured that maybe he’s still at his bedroom after experiencing one of a hell week because college already started again.

Opening his bedroom door silently, y/n saw Yunho laying down on his bed with his head turned to the side of the window. Eyes obviously blank and void of emotions. She silently made her way to his bed and jumped on it and shouted, “Yunho!”

“Jesus, you scared me!” Yunho exclaimed as his arms wrapped around y/n’s torso with his eyes wide, “What are you doing here?”

She laid on her stomach and giggled as she removed the hair covering her eyes, “I came to visit you.” She replied with a pout and she spoke once again, “You’ve been ignoring me since the year started, I miss you.”

Yunho stared at her incredulously and he tucked her hair behind her ears, noticing the blush spreading through her cheeks, “I’m sorry, I just have a lot of things in mind.”

She let out a huff making Yunho raise and eyebrow at her and she smiled, “I’ll listen to you this time.”

“Y/n–”

“Come on, Yunho. You helped me a lot so now it’s my time to repay you. Maybe talking can help you get your mind out of the gutter.”

Yunho just laid there silently once again thinking through things that can possibly happen. If he tells her, their friendship might either end immediately or she reciprocates his feelings for her. But then, he can hear Yeosang speaking in his mind.

Give it a try.

He watches as she fidgets with his fingers that are laying in his stomach. He stared at her eyes and it reflected the night sky filled with stars even if it’s the middle of the day. He let out a sigh making y/n look at him and giggle, “That’s a deep–”

“I like you.”

Y/n was dumbfounded for a while as she stared at Yunho with her mouth open making the latter laugh and guide his hand under her chin to close it. She stared at him still and it’s been a minute that passed by when he confessed and Yunho couldn’t help but feel nervous so he added, “I-I understand if you don’t like me back it’s just that–”

“Idiot.” She suddenly blurted out, as she sat down beside him from her lying position, cutting his words. Yunho looked at her confused, “Huh?”

“You’ve been avoiding me because you like me? What are you trying to do? Damage control?”

“Well, yes–”

“That’s dumb, Yunho.” She said as a matter of factly and Yunho’s eyebrows were knitted, “Look if you’re just going to roast me–”

“I like you too, you fucking dumbo. Are you going to kick me out?” Her words sounded confident which made Yunho stare at her in wonder. They were silent for a while and it’s enough time for Yunho to help his mind process her words.

Giggling as he did so, y/n looked at him confused, “Why are you giggling?”

“Come here.” He said as he pulled her beside him, y/n’a face tucked in his neck, “I really like you.” He said once again then chose to proceed, “I was scared that you’ll leave me like they did if I told you.”

She hummed, “I really really really like you too. I know when we first met that I was broken but that didn’t make me afraid to love. I won’t leave you like they did.”

Yunho smiled through her hair and dropped a kiss on the crown of her head, “Let me take you out on a date?”

“We still have some time today. We can go to Mrs. Kim’s coffee shop. We can visit an arcade then eat dinner out? Maybe do a little bit of shopping?” She suggested as she looked up and their gazes met. He smiled softly at her and hummed, “Sounds like a plan.”

“For now cuddle me here in your bed.” She said in a cute demanding voice causing a laugh to bubble out of Yunho’s mouth.

“Whatever my princess wants then she gets.”

She let out a squeal and squeezed herself tighter into him as if they weren’t too close enough yet. She thought about the first time she met the light of her life and remembered a very important thing they agreed on.

“Yunho?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Thank you.” He looked down at her and booped their noses together as they cuddled in the warmth of Yunho’s bed. Yunho, smiling like an idiotic fool, immediately knows the true meaning behind her gratitude because he feels the same, he’s thankful he met her that day.

Maybe Yeosang is right as well, she may really be the right person for him, and for the first time in years, this is the only relationship Yunho had that made him feel so happy and content.

thank you for reading!

[smallheathgangsters]

Wait For Me | T.S.

A/N: So proud of this one! Please enjoy and leave some feedback! ❤️ Btw, I hope this is want you wanted, Anon. :)

Request: “Hey! Could you write some angst with fluffy end (with 30,23,21 or 34) where Tommy and the reader were in a relationship before the war and she had to leave small heath and could only return years after they got back. They still love each other but she's keeping her distance in the beginning? And his family are the first who see her and welcome her and he just sort if walks in and falls in love again? Sorry if this is too detailed. I LOVE your writings :)” by Anon

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @tranquility-or-chaos​

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 2841

Type: angst, fluff

Summary: Y/N breaks the only promise she made to Tommy before he went off to war. Will there be any hope left for them after he returns to Small Heath?

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“Are you being fucking serious?” you gasped speechlessly. Thomas was giving you a sad and guilty look. His hands were fidgeting with the ring on his right middle finger you had bought him about a year ago. It wasn’t meant to be a promise ring, simply a sweet gesture to show him how much he meant to you, but you knew from the moment he put it on, he started wearing it as one.

“Are you actually being serious, Tommy?” you repeated, looking at him bewilderedly with your eyes teared wide open.

“John and Arthur volunteered as well …” he mumbled, while his hands kept on working on the ring.

His response made you grab him by the hem of his jacket. “That makes no bloody difference, don’t you understand?”

His icy blue eyes were starting to get teary when he locked his gaze with your hurt one. You tried your best to not get soft by his reaction, tried to talk about his absolute stupid idea reasonably and even a tiny bit sternly, but you failed miserably, tears building up behind your eyes as well. “Are you trying to push me away? Are you trying to make it as hard for us as possible?”

You let out a desperate sob, making Tommy finally let go of the ring and cup your face into his hands lovingly. “I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t there to help my brothers and friends in this unbelievably hard time. I would feel like a coward, letting them die while I’d be hiding here.”

“But you wouldn’t be hiding! There are enough men volunteering, it wouldn’t make a difference if you went or stayed here!” you sobbed, the tears that had been gathering now running down your rosy cheeks.

“It would to me, Y/N …” he said quietly, caressing your cheek with his thumb, catching a few of your salty tears.

“Please don’t leave me, Tommy …” you cried. You leaned your forehead against his chest, your whole body erupting into even more violent sobs and hiccups, making you gasp for air. Tommy gently caressed your back. “I’m not leaving you. I could never leave you, love. My thoughts will always be with you.”

But his words did nothing to calm you down. “Please, love. You need to breathe.”

He wrapped his arms around you even tighter, swaying you softly. Then he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll write you every day, if I can, I promise. I’m sure, everything will be over sooner as you think.”

Finally, your crying quieted down. Tommy didn’t stop stroking your back. His big, warm hand gave you the comfort you needed in this moment, even though you knew it would be the last time for a long while. You sniffled and lifted your head from his shirt, which was now stained in your tears. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, Y/N. I promise,” he ensured, kissing your forehead and giving you a weak smile, trying to lighted up the mood a little bit, even though there really wasn’t anything to be happy about right now. “Can you promise me something too?”

You nodded. “Anything.”

“Promise you’ll wait for me?”

His question made you break out into sobs again. “How could I not? How dare you even think I wouldn’t wait for you. Of course, I promise, Tommy.”

 ***

 You broke your promise. The only thing Tommy had ever made you promise. The one promise that meant so much to him, you broke.

You tried telling yourself that it hadn’t been your fault that you had to leave Small Heath. Your parents ran a small business in London, but when all the men were collected or volunteered for the war, they lost their bookkeeper and desperately needed help. They had called you and naturally, you packed everything right away, leaving Birmingham.

But in the end, it didn’t matter who’s fault it was. You weren’t there when you heard about the brave men coming back from the war. You weren’t there when Tommy came back.

Polly even sent you a letter, telling you that they had all made it back alive. And you were so incredibly happy for them and Polly. Still, you never answered her letter, you never even called.

You felt like you didn’t belong to their family anymore. You had let them down, but in particular, you had let Tommy down. It made your heart shatter into a million pieces knowing that you hadn’t been there when the train arrived, waiting for him on the platform. That you hadn’t been there to hold him in your arms, welcoming him back home, peppering him with thousands of sweet little kisses and telling him how much you’d missed him.

And it was true. You really had missed him so much. There wasn’t a day that went by, that you didn’t think of him. His icy blue eyes were the only thing on your mind every single evening you went to sleep. It was the only reason you were even able to find some rest.

While you were overjoyed by Polly’s news, it also made you sick to the stomach. Hearing about Tommy coming back made you feel twice as guilty about the fact that around two years into the war, you stopped answering his letters on a regular basis. You felt as if you were betraying him, knowing very well that you had left Small Heath only a year after him joining the tunnellers. Eventually, you stopped writing him completely. You couldn’t bear telling him that you had left, but you also couldn’t keep on writing him with this secret weighing you down.

Losing Tommy was your own fault. In the beginning, you tried blaming him, out of frustration. You had blamed his decision to volunteer, him risking his life every day, accepting the fact that he may never return alive. But it never made you feel better about the situation you were in. Because deep down you knew, there was nothing to blame him for. The outcome of your relationship, the shatters of what you were left with had all been your doing, not Tommy’s.

It had been a year since Polly’s letter. But still not a day you hadn’t thought of Tommy. Your family had finally found somebody to take over the bookkeeping and suddenly, it was time for you to return to Small Heath. No matter how much time you spent in London, you never really felt at home there and you knew the only place you’d ever be happy was Birmingham. The only problem was, moving back to Birmingham also meant moving back to Tommy. And that was something you dreaded.

In fear of crossing his path unintentionally, you rented a tiny apartment as far away as possible from where Tommy had lived before the war. It wasn’t much but it had everything you needed for now.

Only a few days after returning home, you reunited with one of your best friends, meeting up at a small café. While it felt good seeing a familiar face, you knew it wouldn’t take long for her to ask about Tommy.

“Have you seen him yet? I’m sure he missed you so much,” your friend said, blowing away the steam from the cup of tea and then taking a careful sip, trying not to burn her tongue.

“Uh, no. Not yet,” you mumbled, stirring your spoon in your tea, avoiding her nosy gaze.

“What? Why not? Did you break up?” she asked confused.

Her question made you think. Tommy and you had never officially broken up. It was you who decided for yourself to break off the contact. And because he never reached out to you, asking why you hadn’t been writing him letters anymore or why you hadn’t been there when he came back from France, you assumed he had accepted the fact that your relationship had sort of dissolved itself.

“Not exactly …” you said insecurely, “but it’s been too long since we’ve had contact. It would be ridiculous of me to expect him to still care about me.”

“Oh, shut up,” your friend exclaimed. “You’re being stupid. Tommy Shelby was head over heels for you, there is nothing in the world that could make him lose interest or stop caring about you.”

You scoffed. “Was. Tommy Shelby was head over heels.”

Your comment made your friend groan. “You’re being annoying and self-pitying.”

“Excuse me?” you huffed. Nevertheless, you knew very well that your words had sounded whiny and as though you were sorry for yourself.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said, lifting up her teacup to her lips and raising her eyebrows at you.

Just as you opened your mouth to let out a sarcastic reply, you heard a voice behind you shout your name.

“Y/N! Oh my gosh, is it really you?”

The voice was all too familiar to you and made you squeeze your eyes together, hoping it would go away. But of course, it didn’t. Only a second later Polly was standing next to yours and your friend’s table. You opened your eyes again and moved them slowly to the elegantly dressed woman, a cigarette between her index and middle finger.

“As pretty as ever!” she exclaimed, leaning down and pulling you into a friendly hug, pressing you tightly against her chest. “How long have you been back?”

“O– only a couple of days. Just started settling back in,” you mumbled, feeling absolutely awkward and uncomfortable.

She widened her eyes. “Why didn’t you come by? Tommy’s changed a lot since the war but I’m sure he still misses you and would be very happy to see you.”

Hearing her mention Tommy so casually made you gulp. Was he really not upset about you leaving and ignoring him? Or was Polly just not realising how complicated yours and Tommy’s relationship was, if you could still call it that? On the other hand, Polly was a clever woman. She would be the first to notice something being off.

“Are you sure …? I mean, a lot has happened since then.”

“Oh, of course! We all missed you very much, Y/N, even Finn!���

Sweet little Finn. How was it possible that even he remembered you?

Suddenly, you felt Polly grab you by your wrist, pulling you out of your chair. Then she gave your friend an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry, miss, but I need to steal Y/N away from you.”

You knew exactly that your friend didn’t mind at all, considering the topic of your previous conversation and simply nodded at Polly, smiling cheekily.

Outside, Polly pushed you into a taxi, herself following right behind. She told the driver the same address you remembered the Shelby Home having before you had left. Tommy and his brothers had built up this betting shop and you thought back to when Polly had to take over the reins when the boys left. Suddenly, so many memories popped up in your head, making you feel slightly overwhelmed. Polly seemed to notice you tensing up.

“Everything alright, love?”

You gulped and nodded. “Just feeling a little nervous.”

“Nervous?” she asked surprised, “Why would you be nervous around us? We’re family.”

“Tommy and I, we … you know, we–“

Polly cut you off by grabbing both your shoulders and looking into your eyes intensely. “Y/N, darling. Stop worrying about Tommy, everything’s going to be fine.”

You sighed. “Okay.”

The driver stopped the car and Polly payed him, getting out of the vehicle quickly onto Watery Lane. “Come on, then.”

You slid off of the back seat as well and followed her to the front door of the house. Your heart started racing and your palms got sweaty, making you wipe them on your dress. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much and they stayed uncomfortably clammy. Polly sensed you not feeling very well and grabbed your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. Then she pushed open the front door to the betting shop, a wave of loud masculine voices coming your way.

“Look who I found!” you heard Polly shout over the voices, drawing all the attention towards the two of you.

“What the fuck!”

John was the first to react. A huge smile was plastered onto his face. You saw him rushing over to you and pulling into the biggest, tightest hug you’ve ever experienced. “What the bloody hell are you doing here? I thought you’d never come back!”

You nuzzled your face into his chest. All of a sudden, all your nervousness and insecurity was gone, replaced by the feeling of finally being at home. It made you realise how much you had missed all of them and how stupid you had been to avoid them. They really were family.

Immediately after John pulled away, Arthur wrapped his slender arms around you. You couldn’t say whose welcome was more heartfelt.

“You look amazing, Y/N,” Arthur complimented when he finally got to examine your face more closely.

“Thank you,” you said, blushing. “I really missed you all.”

“We did too, very much.”

After you hugged Finn as well, commenting on how much he had grown in the years you were gone, your eyes scanned the room in hope to find Tommy standing somewhere in the back, waiting for his turn to pull you into an embrace. But he was nowhere to be seen.

You felt a soft hand being placed on your shoulder. “I’m sorry he’s not here. I’m sure he’ll be over soon.”

You nodded and gave Polly a weak smile. “Don’t worry. Maybe it’s better this way.”

“Quit being so negative,” Polly told you off. The tone in which she said it wasn’t angry though. It sounded almost hopeful.

Suddenly, the front door behind you flew open, making you flinch. You whipped your head around, staring at the person standing in the doorway.

“Tommy …?” you whispered, as if you had to be careful to not scare him away.

He was just as handsome as the last time you had seen his beautiful face and his breathtakingly gorgeous eyes. He was wearing a perfectly tailored suit, making him look as if he were in charge of everything and everyone in Small Heath. There was nothing that didn’t make you fall in love with him all over again right then and there.

You felt all the other family members slowly backing up towards their offices, giving you the space, you needed.

At first, Tommy didn’t say a word. He just stared at you with an expression you weren’t able to make out. Was he happy to see you? Or did he want you to leave?

The silence made you feel uneasy. Your heart was beating uncontrollably fast in your chest and you felt heat wander up to your cheeks, making them flush.

This encounter was embarrassing. It was not at all romantic or even pleasant. It made you want to push past Tommy and run down the street, as far away as possible. You guessed he probably felt the same. You couldn’t imagine him feeling positive emotions when it came to you, especially not when you suddenly stood in his shop unannounced after not hearing from you for years.

“Look … I’m sorry, I– I shouldn’t be here,” you stammered nervously, your eyes jumping around in the entrance, avoiding his intense stare at all costs.

You wrapped your coat around your body and stepped towards Tommy, planning on squeezing past his muscular physique when you suddenly felt his arms around your body. His actions took you by surprise, making your freeze in his embrace. Your breath hitched at the back of your throat and you were unable to return the gesture. You worried that your reaction would make him regret hugging you, but he didn’t let you go. It seemed as though when he felt you unable to move, he pressed you even harder against himself.

“Don’t leave … please,” you heard him whisper pleadingly. You held your breath in shock when you thought you heard his voice being shaky.

“You promised …” he breathed, a silent sob escaping his lips. He placed a hand on your cheek, and you felt something cold. The ring.

That was when you broke. Your legs gave up on you, making Tommy catch you when your body collapsed. His strong arms supported your body, holding you up against his chest while his scent surrounded you.

Your cries filled the air and time seemed to have stopped, only for you and Tommy. It was a moment that nobody was able to take away from you. It was when you realised that life meant nothing if Tommy wasn’t there. And that nothing you had done had ever changed that. It was also the moment you realised that Tommy had never forgotten or stopped caring about you. He still loved you as much as you loved him, and not even war was able to change that.

[forever-rogue]

Honey & Velvet - Part 7

A/N: You’re getting some...relief here, but there’s more to come if you know what I mean ;) enjoy. If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know, and as always, feedback and comments are always welcome! xx

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: slight language, and mature/explicit content (so 18+ only friends - also as an additional warning contains some roughness and crude language)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Maxwell stared at you with such an intensity that left your knees weak and a fire blooming throughout your belly. Surely, you were about to go mad, just having him standing there and watching you, practically undressing with those dark, honeyed eyes. Unable to stand the tension any longer, you put your hands on either side of his face and crashed your lips back onto his. His hands found purchase on your hips as he pulled you close and left you take the lead. You were loathe to let go, to finally separate from him, only doing so when you were sure you might pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Are you going to take me home then?" you tugged on his tie lightly, attempting to give him your most innocent eyes. When you had first met him, you thought you'd sooner throw him through the window of your office, but here you were, propositioning him. You were like putty in his hands, ready to almost beg him to have sex with you. A little bit of you was angry with yourself - angry for giving into a man that you claimed you hated, angry for letting any man take control of your thoughts, angry for falling for him when you swore you wouldn't.

"Come on," he said after a small eternity, giving your lips one last kiss. He was...shockingly gentle and soft as he took he held out his hand for you to take. There was the tiniest sliver of hesitation before you slipped your hand in his and let him take the lead. He was silent, guiding you effortlessly through the people milling about the gala. A few glances were shot your way, unarguably because of the dress you were wearing; part of you had thought you’d feel uncomfortable, but a different part of you was almost...exhilarated by how people watched the two of you. Maxwell seemed to sense your slight hesitation, only offering a small shrug in response and whispering, “let them stare, let them say whatever they want.”

His blasé  statement only served to make you feel more bold and you held your head up high as you left the building and resurfaced into the cool evening air. Sucking in a long breath, you tried to steady yourself from all the thoughts swimming in your mind. Was this finally it?

Maxwell slipped off his luxe suit jacket and draped it around your shoulders when he noticed you shivering. You offered him a thankful smile but he just returned your sentiment with a nod as the valet brought his town car around, opening the door to usher you inside. It was just as fancy as you thought it would be, simple but expensive, just as seemingly he was. You slid in and got comfortable, and he followed suit, sitting close to you, but leaving a small distance. It was maybe a few inches, but something about it made it feel like a gaping chasm. He knee was inclined towards you, but his body was angled straight ahead, eyes appearing to be concentrated anywhere but you.

Your mind immediately kicked into overdrive as you tried to process what was going on. Maybe he was mad? Maybe he was trying to contain himself? Or...he perhaps he had completely changed his mind within the span of a few minutes. But you had a feeling that wasn’t it. Tempting as it was to grab him and slide into his lap, you refrained, instead opting to stare out the window at the passing scenery as you headed towards your apartment. Out of the corner of your eye, you slowly spied his expression softening, and his large, warm hand made its way onto your thigh. It was an almost absentminded gesture as he traced aimless shapes and patterns onto your delicate skin, bringing a small smile to your face.

When you arrived at your building, you slowly climbed out of the car and waited to see what he would next. Almost as if it was a herculean effort, he followed you without a word, letting you show him the way to your apartment. The aging elevator slowly arrived, creaking open as you stepped inside, Maxwell right by your side. Leaning against the cool metal, you let out a heavy sigh as you studied his profile. He was handsome, you had come to admit, even if it was not so in the traditional way. He had deep set, but warm, honeyed eyes, light lines around them, mostly likely from years of frowning and furrowing too much. His nose was his most prominent feature, along with his full lips; lips that had already proven themselves more than capable of eliciting a fair share of moans from you. He was different - but in the best ways possible.

“If you stare any harder, you’re going to burn a hole in my face,” he sounded bemused and it worked to ease your tension ever so slightly, “penny for your thoughts?”

“I’m kind of wondering why you’re not kissing me right now, or even sparing me a glance,” you mused, fingers drumming along the cool metal of the handrail. He finally looked at you and shrugged as though it was so obvious. God, that little smirk would be the death of you.

“You’re such an impatient, needy little thing, aren’t you?” he cocked his head to the side, inspecting you closely. You subconsciously squeezed your legs together as his warm timber sent a spark throughout your body. You shrugged lightly as you tried to play it cool. But he was able to easily see through your facade as he grabbed you, hands on either side of your face as he brought his lips to yours. They were hungry, needy kisses, leaving you heated from within, the only bit of coolness were the rings on his fingers. Before you could get more involved into the kiss, the elevator sounded with a shrill ding and the doors opened. 

Maxwell let go of you all too quickly and a soft sigh of annoyance let your lips. Foiled, yet again. Beckoning for him to follow, you all but sprinted back towards your apartment and he followed with long, easy strides. He made everything seem so effortlessly, like no thought was involved, but you both knew each move, each word was extremely calculated.

Unlocking the door proved to be a challenge as your hands trembled slightly in anticipation and nerves. You felt more like a giddy school girl rather than a grown woman. Once you finally managed to unlock it and swing it open, you stepped inside, kicking off your heels and waiting for him to follow. But...he didn’t. 

“Max?” your voice sounded sad, weak...pathetic even. Your lips turned into a pout as you came to the heartbreaking conclusion that he wasn’t going to be following you in, “what’s wrong? I thought you wanted....this?”

He rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment, clearly picking and choosing his words with care. Eventually, after a few beats of tense silence, he came to the threshold and leaned against the door, “you are...something else. And yes...I do want this just as much as you, trust me. It seems you have managed to consume every single of thoughts with ease. I thought that I must surely be going mad. And given our previous encounters...I do not want you to rush into anything because you feel the need to win or whatever you want to deem it.”

“You...you’re rejecting me?” your mouth hung open as you stared at him in confused. The sheer audacity that this man possessed was beyond you, “you came all this way to just drop me off and leave?”

“Precisely,” he nodded as you tugged off his jacket and tossed it at him in a huff of anger, “I wanted to make sure you got home safely.”

“You led me on!” you were almost shouting at this point, knowing that probably sounded like a spoiled child more than anything else, “I thought...”

“What you thought and what I said are two different things,” he insisted, giving a wicked little smile; he was clearly pleased with himself, “I’m a lot of things, but I wouldn’t take advantage of a woman who was overcome with desire, just because I can. If you want this, you need to be sure.”

“I am sure,” you insisted, a falter to your voice at his seemingly innocent comments. but also ominous words.

“Are you?” he reached over and ghosted a few long fingers along your cheek before grabbing your face roughly and giving you a dark eyed stare. His already dark eyes were almost black, his pupils almost completely blown out. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy getting a little manhandled, “because once you make that decision, there is no going back.”

Your chest rose and fell as his words hit you like a ton of bricks. You wondered just exactly what was hiding under that vanilla exterior. He parted your lips with his hand, tracing his thumb along your bottom lip, earning a small mewl from you as a dark laugh escaped his own.

He pulled back and shook his head at you, leaving you astounded and more turned on than you cared to admit. You looked at him with wide eyes as he slipped his jacket back on, “Max...”

“I’m glad you’re home safe this evening,” he was back to being as sweet as honey just like that, “think on things. You know where to find me.”

You wished you could find something smart or witty to retort with, and make him beg you for it, but instead you stood there, watching him walk away. Before he got back onto the elevator, he turned and gave you a small smile. acting as if nothing had even happened. How he could be so blasé was beyond you, and it was infuriating. Here you were, willing to give yourself to him, finally, but he wasn’t willing to take it. But you were still playing his little game...maybe he had the upper hand after all. 

Quickly slamming the door, making sure he was able to hear you, you locked it and leaned against it, trying to cool off and contain your racing heart and mind. Everything suddenly felt like too much and not enough at the same, and you tugged off the dress, letting it slip to the floor with a delicate thud, leaving you in only your underwear. You felt just too hot and warm, and knew exactly what was going to give you the release you need. 

Stepping into the bathroom, you turned on the shower and let the water only run lukewarm before stripping off your bra and soaked panties. Slipping under the warm water, you let it cool you off ever so lightly as you tried to focus on something other than Maxwell. Grabbing your body wash, you gathered a liberal amount and spread it over your body, making sure to reach every part of you. As you washed your belly, waist, and top of your thighs, the tingling of your core did not subside and you tried your best to control yourself.

But with each pass, you let your hand drift closer and closer to your center, your resolved washing away down the drain along with the soap. Debating with yourself for a few moments you quietly decided fuck it. Everything else had fallen apart today, might as well let yourself experience some sort of please. 

Leaning against the cool tile wall as you started to touch yourself, you closed your eyes, not even bothering to hold back your whimpers and moans. It was the name that was on the edge of your lips that you wished wouldn’t come out, but you knew it was a war already long lost. As you brought yourself closer and closer to the edge of bliss, a feat which did not take long by any means, all you could picture was Maxwell there with you, his large hand between your legs, rather than yours. It didn’t take much after that until you came, a small, soft Maxwell spilling from your mouth. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

By the time the new week rolled around, you’d spent all weekend thinking about your next move. Basically spending all weekend thinking about Maxwell Lord. Gods, he was infuriating, but ever since you’d gotten a taste, you’d just needed more, more, more.

You’d gone into work and informed Adina that you’d be leaving around lunch for the day, and she was not lost to the little glint in your life. Even if she didn’t know, she knew. But she wasn’t going to question you.

The morning hours ticked by excruciatingly slowly, making it hard to focus and making you question your plan. Maybe it was too rash...too bold, even for the likes of both of you. But no. You weren’t going to back anymore, especially not after what happened on Friday night. You were all in. 

Just before leaving, you quickly changed into the...outfit you had picked, giving yourself the once over in the mirror before pulling your overcoat on. Reaching into your desk drawer, you pulled out the golden bullet lipstick, and painted your lips in your favorite shade of crimson. It was a measure that would, hopefully, embolden you in your endeavor. Either this would be a horrible mistake or a brilliant idea with an ideal outcome. Slipping on the heels you’d been gifted from Maxwell, you left your office for the day and onto your little...fun.

Making sure no one would easily spy you, you stalked to Maxwell’s office, shooting furtive glances around every which way. Spotting his assistant and praying she wouldn’t pry too much, you gave her a soft smile as you approached her desk. She looked up at you before turning her attention back to her paperwork, but quick did a double take when she recognized you, swallowing the lump in her throat, she attempted to give you a smile back.

“Hi,” you leaned over her desk and kept your voice low as she seemed to cower with nerves. If you had this affect on her, you could only imagine how Maxwell made her feel, “I think you know who I am...and I’m asking, purely for myself, is Maxwell in his office?”

“N-no,” she stuttered, pulling his schedule and studying it closely, “he’s in a meeting for a while longer.”

Annoyed for only a brief moment, you realized this might even be better, “can you please let me into his office? I have something that might be of...great interest to him.”

“No one’s supposed to go in there without-”

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it,” you insisted firmly, “I just want to give him a little surprise, surely you can help a girl out?”

“If he’s mad...I might get in trouble,” she already sounded defeated as she looked at you with a nervous expression, but you just shook your head in what you hoped was a reassuring manner, “I wouldn’t want to make Mr. Lord upset.”

“I promise you that you will not get in trouble and nothing will happen,” glancing between her and the door, you placed an easy, soft smile on your face, “if he gets even the tiniest bit annoyed, I will make sure he knows it was all me. Please?”

“Yes,” she stood up and walked over to his door, unlocking it quickly and stepping aside to let you in. Before she could shut the door and go back to her desk, you put your hand under her chin softly, giving her a gentle touch.

“It will be okay,” you promised, “just lock the door and let him figure things out on his own.”

She nodded before closing the door, and you could hear her locking it once again. Taking a turn about the room, you studied everything intently; there wasn’t anything super personal in the entirety of the office, but you could tell that his was his personal sanctuary. A few personal items were scattered on his desk, but otherwise it was all business, just like him. 

Sliding down into his desk chair and perching your legs on the desk, you started to go through his drawers. You weren’t going to snoop that much, but just wanted to get a taste. When you saw the small stack of monogrammed handkerchiefs, and the golden lipstick bullet identical to yours, a wicked grin spread across your face. Perhaps his resolve wasn’t as strong as he liked to think after all.  

Throwing off your coat and tossing it onto one of the chairs across the desk, you decided you would sit right there and wait for him, hoping he wouldn’t be gone for too much longer.

Just before you could get terribly bored, you heard the sound of approaching footsteps and Maxwell’s distinctive voice. The coil in your belly tightened as you grew almost giddy in anticipation. But you did your best to keep a cool exterior, leaning back and keeping your feet up. He soon had the door unlocked and stepped, his eyes widening at the sight of you. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He slammed the door and strode over to you, his dark eyes never leaving yours.

“Y/N,” his voice was low and dangerous as he stood in front his desk, eyes shamelessly raking over every inch of you, just like you had hoped for, “what are you doing?”

You let out a soft laugh as innocently gestured to the black velvet lingerie you were currently sporting. Just like you had always known, there was something about a black and velvet ensemble that drove almost any man wild, “I just came to surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised,” he sucked in a breath as you kicked off the heels and let them fall to the floor, “what are you playing at? Trying to get a rouse out of me?”

You stood up slowly, making it a point to stretch so he could see the swell of your breasts. You walked around to face him, experiencing only a beat of hesitation as he seemed to loom over you, “no...sir. I just came here to tell you that I’ve been thinking over your proposition.”

“Have you?” he mused as he stared you down; you could see his hand twitching slightly as he tried to keep from touching you then and there. You took the control away from him, even for the moment as you grabbed his hand and placed it on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, dragging his thumb to the hollow of your throat, “and to what conclusion have you come to then?”

“I think you can figure out that much for yourself,” you insisted as you tilted your head back slightly, encouraging him to touch press lightly on your throat. You just knew it was taking every bit of willpower he possessed in order to keep from taking you that moment, but he showed restraint.

“Need to hear it from you,” he insisted as his voice cracked lightly, his gaze trained, rather pointedly, on your face as leaned further into his touch.

“I’m all in,” you promised, shifting your gaze so you were directly facing him. His eyes flickered for just a moment before a wicked grin crossed his features. The sheep has come for slaughter, he thought to himself, finally. 

“Get on your knees,” if it had been any other man in the world, you would have told them then and there that they could fall into a ditch and die, but something about the way Maxwell commanded you set off that fire in your belly, “now.”

He removed his hand from your throat and you slowly, almost painfully so, got on your knees, at the perfect height to meet his cock. His hard on was already straining against his trousers. You looked up at him with wide doe eyes as you reached for the waistband of his trousers. Undoing the button and fly languidly, you made sure your eyes never left his - if you hadn’t know before that they were warm brown, you’d swear they were inky black. 

His pants pooled at his feet, leaving him in only underwear - unsurprisingly a pair of briefs. They were soft as silk, and perhaps they were, knowing him, and you couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight at greeted you. He was...not lacking in that department, that was for sure. Not that you had any doubts about that; there was something about him that exuded big dick energy, despite his crass attitude.

Trailing your hands on his thighs, you let your nails rake over his warm skin before pressing a kiss to his hips. It was a slow, simple thing, enough to wind him up, causing him to weave his hands into your hair. You took a moment to admire your handiwork, two brilliant red lip prints on his soft, tanned skin. Hooking your fingers in the waistband of his briefs, you slowly pulled them down his thick, toned legs. Maxwell hissed lightly in relief as his hard cock sprung free, relieving some of uncomfortable tension.

"Hmmm," you practically purred at the sight of his hard cock, flushed an angry red and leaking already. You sighed contently before spitting in your hand and taking his length and slowly stroking him, "just as wonderful as I imagined."

Maxwell's pupils were completely blown with lust as he watched you, his grip on your hair tightening almost painfully. It was a pleasurable pull and tug, basically running right down to your core, "you have no idea how many times I've imagined you on your knees for me."

"Yeah?" you feigned innocence as you continued to work him, leaning your head against his thigh, your mouth close to his cock, but not close enough. He let out a small moan as you kissed his delicate skin, "tell me what you want, Maxwell....sir."

Something about you calling him sir seemed to spur him on, a note that you would have to remember for later. He yanked you back for a moment, eyes burning into yours, "open those pretty lips for me. You’re so fond of using that big mouth anyways.”

You were getting desperately needy for him, and wanted to touch yourself, but your hands had found purchase on his hips. There was a deep feeling within you that he would get annoyed should you dare to let a hand wander between your legs. While that was a tempting idea, you decided to save that for another time. Right now you really, deeply, just wanted to see what he had in store for you.

Opening your mouth wide enough for him to put his cock in, a small moan of satisfaction left as the warmth of your mouth surrounded him. He was large - and you had to wrap your hand around his base for what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You'd had plenty of experience throughout the years...but this was a different experience.

Bobbing your head up and down, you were purposeful in your movements, not loading back any sounds. The vibrations set him off and he started to thrust his hips slightly. His eyes were closed and brow furrowed in concentration; while he might have been in control, you had a hold over him. 

Gently tracing patterns and shapes into his bronze skin, you moved to meet his thrusts. The crimson color from your lips was painting his cock and surrounding skin. You grinned around him like the Cheshire cat as his hands firmly gripped your hair and he started to push you down on his cock. You gagged slightly around him, spit starting to run out of your mouth and dripping down your chin as tears pricked at the corner of your eyes. While it was a compromising situation and might have been otherwise embarrassing, you experienced nothing but sheer satisfaction in the that moment. 

Balancing yourself on his legs, you decided to let him use you however he wanted; and so he did. He was not gentle and he was not a sweet talker, but the closer and closer he got to reaching his bliss, the less he cared. He was vocal, grunting and making sounds with reckless abandon; anyone walking by could have easily heard what was going within the four corners of his office. Not that he ever cared before when he’d have his secretaries in there, and he certainly did not care now. 

The coil in your belly threatened to snap when you felt him start to twitch withing your move, as he rapidly approached his release. You wondered briefly were he would cum, if it was in your mouth, or perhaps he’d like the power men often experienced as they released onto a woman’s face or breasts. He was a wild card, and it really could have been anywhere.

Then - just before he finished, he roughly forced you back, pulling you off of his cock. A small sound of disappointment at the loss left your lips as you got up at him in surprise. An expression you couldn’t quite explain was etched all over his face as he observed you in your current state. 

“You really are something else,” a small hint of admiration colored his tone as you pulled to your feet, his grip slightly more benign than before. He grabbed your chin and studied the mess of spit and lipstick, “you are the epitome of perfection.”

For some reason, a slight blush crept into your cheeks as you reveled in his praise. At first you had wondered why he had decided not to cum then and there, but you came to realize that he had some other sort of plan; he was not yet finished with you. His placed his hands on your shoulders, letting his fingers slide under the straps of the lacy lingerie and pulling it down slowly. And you let him -  you wanted him, desperately, to take you. 

“Please,” your voice was but a mere, small whimper as you put your hands on top of his, “Maxwell.”

“Don’t worry, my sweet little brat,” his voice was all consuming and the only thing you were aware of as he peeled the lingerie down your torso and exposed your breasts, “I am far from done with you. You are going to know who you belong to.”

“Is that a threat?” you found your voice suddenly, unable to stop yourself from giving a bit of sass. That was, after all, one of the many reasons, he had been so taken with you in the first place. 

“It’s a promise.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[sweet-barnes]

Snake Eyes - part eleven

Pairing: mob!Bucky x reader

Word Count: 4.2K

Warnings: gunfire and talks of injuries

Summary: ‘Snake eyes’ meaning the worst possible result; a complete lack of success. Getting caught up between two of the biggest mobs in the city was never how you expected your night to go, and falling for a mob boss can only end in disaster.

A/N: ahh it’s all going down now! i hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcomed!

Snake Eyes Masterlist

Part 10

Bucky’s head was reeling.

The more Rumlow kept talking, the more he believed him, the more he saw you as this woman separate from the one he had come to know. A woman who betrayed him. 

It was all an act. The soft moments you two had shared. The rambling texts from each other that had found a place in his heart, he looked forward to those texts every morning and night. The moments he would get to see you, even if it was just for a couple of minutes, they made his days so much brighter and happier.

It was all a lie. 

“She gave us the details of where your next raid would be, that’s how we’re all stood here right now,” Rumlow had started walking around the club, still keeping his tight grip on your arm, forcing you to walk with him. “In case you were wondering, she’s been in on this since the beginning.”

You felt the shame creep into your bones. There were so many moments you could have told any single one of the Commandos the truth and you avoided it every time. 

Every time you told yourself it was to protect them, but it was more likely to protect you. And now look where you were. 

Natasha was the first one to question the situation, her voice was strong and steady as she spoke against Rumlow . “So you beat up your own sister to get at Bucky?”

Rumlow simply scoffed, and Nat carried on. “Some brother you are, your enemies mean more than your own family, you’re just a piece of scum.” Her nose turned up as she looked at him with disgust. You couldn’t tell whether Natasha believed his words or not, even so, she didn’t agree with the mans actions either way. 

“I’ll give it you,” Rumlow responded, looking down at you, “hurting her doesn’t show my brotherly love towards her, but it had to be done, she agreed and allowed me to do it, doesn’t that make her just as bad as me?”

Your breathing became heavier at his words, at the way he was lying through his teeth to these people you had grown close with over the past few months. These people you considered friends. They probably believed every word he was saying.

Bucky still hadn’t said a word. You were desperate for him to say something, for him to give away whether he saw the truth in what Rumlow was saying or whether he was going to stick by you. His eyes lingered downwards as he soaked in all the new information that was being thrown around. His mind couldn’t handle it. 

Your eyes were drawn to a subtle movement by Sam’s side, at this point he was the closest one to you. A dark object in his hand caught your eye and when you looked up, his gaze was already set on you. There was a look in his eye that you couldn’t quite place. Resentment, perhaps? Contempt?

Before anymore thoughts could form in your mind, Sam’s arm had snapped upwards and the gun became clear in his hand, aiming in your direction.

The sound of gunfire echoed once again throughout the air, Rumlow jolted you both towards the ground, frantically dragging you along with him as he tried to make his way back to his men. You kicked and screamed above the sound of shooting, kicking at his legs to knock him off balance.

His turned his face back to you, his teeth gritted. “You want to stay? I’d like to see you survive on your own.” His tight grip finally released, you could already feel the bruises starting to form on your skin.

Rumlow stood, towering over you, seeming to avoid the bullets flying through the enclosed space. He pulled his gun from his holster and everything seeming to happen in slow motion before you as he moved to aim his gun directly at you. You tried to move, but your body ached, it seemed as though you were stuck to the ground.

A gunshot sounded from somewhere near your side, further into the room, and you saw Rumlow’s body jolt as he was hit. The bullet only brushed his arm, he hissed as he moved to take a better look. 

He flipped as soon as he saw it, turning his gun towards you again and firing a single shot before lifting it and taking aim at whoever had taken shots at him.

The sound of his gun became faint as your body registered the pain the was searing through your right shoulder, spreading more and more with each second. Your breathing became shallow as tears came to your eyes. You felt liken you needed to throw up but there was nothing there. You knew you had to do something but you were in shock. 

A high pitched ringing became prominent in your ears as you looked around for any familiar faces for help.

All you saw were Rumlow’s men, dressed in dark burgundy suit surrounding you. Your thoughts instantly predicted your future, being taken away by them. Being taken away from Bucky forever. But they rushed past you, to the end of your feet where you were just noticing Rumlow’s body crumpled there. 

He was still moving, ever so slightly, and when his men picked him up to carry him to safety, he howled out in pain. Blood was dripping from his body and it clearly marked their exit route. 

You felt someone moving your arm, more tears streaming from your eyes as pressure was applied to stop the flow of blood. You broke your eyes away from the retreating bodies and looked up to meet Natasha’s face, her red hair falling down and brushing lightly against your skin.

“Come on, Y/N, you’ve got to stay with me,” she whispered. Were they tears falling down her cheeks? You took a deep breath, focusing on her green eyes and trying to keep with her. 

You could hear muffled voices around you, orders being given out by Steve for a group to follow Rumlow and his men, to catch them in their escape. They were still a threat as long as Rumlow was alive. 

Sam’s face came into view next to Nat’s, and he gave you a pained yet goofy grin as he looked down at you. “It’s not been a good day for you, has it?” He joked, and as the echo of a smile came onto your face, he looked pleased with himself at your reaction. 

“I’m going to pick you up okay? We need to get you to Bruce as soon as possible, don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” he coordinated himself with Natasha to pick you up in a way that would cause less pain to your body. It still hurt though, and you cried out when you were lifted.

Your mind was a puddle of thoughts. After everything Rumlow said, they were still helping you. Why? Did Bucky tell them to? Where was Bucky? 

You gathered all the energy you could, your face showing your discomfort as you spoke, “I’m not his sister.” 

Uncertainty flashed through Sam’s eyes at your statement, but Natasha spoke for him. “Don’t worry about that, we need to get you fixed up first and then we can talk about everything that has been said today.”

You let her words flow over your head. “Where’s Bucky?” You tried to move your head around as Sam’s was carrying you out of the club into the dark streets but it was no use. They needed to move fast, the police would be arriving soon after all the gunfire and they needed to be out of there.

“He’s been taken already, he was shot,” Sam was reluctant to tell you but he couldn’t keep it from you. He knew how much Bucky meant to you and he didn’t want to cause you anymore anxiety by just telling you not to worry about it.

A new round of tears made their way to your eyes. “He’s been hit?” You wheezed, “is he okay? Is it bad?” Natasha was trying to sooth you and calm you, as to not cause anymore damage and to keep the pressure on your shoulder. 

“Y/N, we haven’t seen him yet, once we get back to the house and we’re all cleaned up, I promise you’ll be able to see him.” That didn’t stop the sobs that were wracking your body as Sam placed you in the back of the car. It wasn’t their usual one, Bucky must have left in theirs and it suddenly felt unfamiliar without Bucky by your side.

The whole ride back to the house consisted of Natasha and Sam mumbling to each other about what had just happened. You felt too hazy to concentrate on anything they were saying, the blood that was still oozing from your wound making you feel dizzy, even sat down. 

The only thing you could grasp was the thought of Bucky being injured, and not knowing whether it was just a graze or if he was fighting for his life was tearing you apart inside. The thought of him not wanting to see you when you got back to the house was also nagging at your mind. You tried to push it down as much as you could but you couldn’t deny the look of betrayal on his face at Rumlow’s words.

All you could do was hope that he didn’t believe a word he said, or he’d at least give you a chance to explain yourself if he did believe him. It was the least he could do.

By the time you arrived at the mansion, your eyes were closing. No matter how many times Natasha tried to get you to open them again, it was no use. You just felt so tired and you couldn’t fight it anymore. The last thing you heard was Natasha calling out to someone, before it all went quite.

--

The smell of disinfectant invaded your nose. The sound of beeping next to you came next. 

Your head felt like there was an ocean inside, the waves sloshing against the sides of your head as you let out a small groan. You blinked your eyes open and was instantly blinded by the bright lights above you. You gave yourself a couple of seconds to adjust before attempting to open them again.

“Hey,” a soft voice next to you. You felt the pressure on your hand then and you squeezed in it response. You moved your head as slowly as you could, feeling like you might throw up if you moved it any faster.

Green eyes were peering at you, Natasha’s face filled with worry as she sat on the chair beside your bed. “Hey, you’re okay,” you didn’t know if she was trying to convince you or herself but you took her word anyway.

“Where am I?” You knew you weren’t in a hospital, you had never seen a place like it but the hospital equipment surrounding you confused your thoughts. The walls were light grey and tiled, with the sheets covering you matching them. You were in a single room, just you and Natasha and there was one door way leading out onto a corridor.

“We’re underneath Bucky’s place, we use it for medical emergency’s, it’s where Bruce likes to geek out,” she chuckled and you smiled at her joke. 

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked instinctively, and Natasha sighed, squeezing your hand. “He’s okay, he was shot three times. One of them grazed his cheek but the other two went through his left arm.” You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth.

If it wasn’t for you, this wouldn’t have happened. he would have been safe and unhurt, but you did that to him. You could have protected him like he was trying to protect you.

“When can I speak to him?” Your voice was quiet as you met Natasha’s eyes. “When you’re both better, give it some time Y/N, you both need it after what happened.”

You spent the rest of the day in that room, Bruce coming in occasionally to check on you and run some test before you were sent back up to your bedroom in the evening. Natasha helped you up the three flights of stairs, you were still a bit weak and you couldn’t lift your arm very high at the moment. It hurt just to have it by your side.

You were in bed, staring out of the window into the evening light when you heard the slamming of a door and raised voices being hushed down the hall, it sounded like it was coming from Bucky’s room.

“Guys, she’s literally down the hall, keep your voices down,” Steve hushed the two men in front of him. Bucky blew out some air, pacing around the bed sat in the middle of his room. Despite being asked by Bruce to stay with him for a little while longer, he couldn’t take staring at those blank walls any longer. 

He’d been shot before, he could take it. He gathered some painkillers and made his way back upstairs, wanting to filter through all the information he had received last night.

“So you’re just telling me now that she’s Rumlow’s sister? Do you know how much information she’s seen doing the job I’ve given her? Rumlow could be taking us down right now and we wouldn’t even know until the last second,” the anger was seeping through Bucky’s voice and he couldn’t hide it, no matter how hard he tried.

Sam and Steve had met him in his office earlier that day, sheets of paper in Steve’s hand and an anxious look shared between the two of them. “What’s going on? Is this about what you two were doing yesterday because if it is, I don’t care anymore,” Bucky had slumped himself down in his large chair.

“Yes it is, but you need to look at it, it’s important,” Steve simply placed the pile of sheets in front of Bucky on the desk. When Bucky didn’t immediately look at them, the boys took it as their cue to leave. 

Now, they were facing only a fraction of Bucky’s deadly nature that people feared him for. It was a well known fact to never get on the wrong side of Bucky, he may do good for his people but he was not afraid to show his anger to anyone who went against him, a Commando or not.

“Buck, we only found this out just before we went for the raid, there was no time to tell you, we didn’t now the whole thing was going to pan out like that,” Steve tried to reason. Bucky ran a hand over his face, the information coming from Rumlow was one thing, but to have it confirmed by his men was another.

“Did you read it all? It seems like she never had anything to do with him for her whole life, they never lived together, she stayed with her mother and he went with the father, it’s likely he took her that night to use her,” Sam was confident in his theory, even though he’d known you for such a short period of time, he knew you wouldn’t be capable of manipulating anyone in such a way.

“Okay, so say he just took her, she still had to agree to go along with it Sam, she went along with it for over a month, how does that make her any better?” Bucky was trying to keep his voice calm, he was talking through gritted teeth.

“Bucky, you saw how beat up she was after she was taken when her and Nat went shopping, and the cut on her head when you first rescued her from the club, you think she’d let him do that to her just for fun? Why would she let him beat her up like that? Come on, man, this is Rumlow we’re talking about, you’ve never believed anything he’s said so why are you starting now?”

Sam was right, of course he was. But Bucky’s heart was aching at even the thought of you keeping something from him, the thought of you being related to Rumlow. He felt like he’d found something good in his life and now it was being ripped from him as quickly as it was given. 

He had trusted you, opened up a part of his heart to allow you in and he let you nestle into his life. Maybe you weren’t the one he thought you were. Maybe that person was still out there. Surely the one that’s meant for you would be honest from the start?

A soft knock at the door broke the three men out of their heated conversation. They all paused, looking around at each other before Steve moved over to see who was on the other side. You stood in front of him in your joggers and a large hoodie which took over your hands that you were wringing through the jumper sleeves. 

“Hey, Y/N, are you alright? Shouldn’t you be resting,” you knew he had said your name to announce to the others its was you at the door but you let it pass.

“Yeah, I’m okay thanks,. Is Bucky there? I’d like to speak to him, if that’s alright?” Your voice was soft and small and it made Bucky’s heart race. He couldn’t deny the feelings that had grown for you over this time but his thoughts were completely muddled now. 

Steve turned his head back to Bucky and when he received a single nod, he opened the door wider to let you step through. You seemed timid and moved rather stiffly compared to just days before, you were holding onto your right arm with your hand, steadying the movement of it to reduce the pain but Bucky could see it in your eyes, it still hurt.

Steve and Sam left the room without any further words, Sam smiling at you as he passed.

You glanced around the room for a second, nothing had changed since the last time you had been in there. Bucky was stood near his window, his back turned towards you and you could tell he was breathing heavily.

You took a deep breath, “Bucky?” At this, he turned his body slightly so it was angled towards you but he didn’t completely face you. It hurt you a little to be getting this treatment from him. The mobster who was so soft with you was now treating you like you were some useless business partner at the gatherings he went to.

“I wanted to talk about yesterday, if that’s okay?” You tried again when he didn’t give you an answer. 

“Y/N, we have your birth certificates, you’re his sister,” his voice was emotionless as he spoke. “You share the same parents, he just moved away with your father when they split.”

This information made your head spin. You mother had never mentioned a brother to you throughout your whole life, not that you remembered anyway. You never saw your father either, so you guessed it could be true if Rumlow did move away with your father.

“I didn’t know about him, I promise I didn’t,” you felt the tears welling in your eyes but it was all about to come out now, you couldn’t stop it. “The night you found me in his club, he had taken me the day before on my way home from work, I had no idea who he was, he didn’t tell me anything except I had to get to you. I never heard anything from him again until he took me when we were shopping, he was just asking for information about you then and I told him where your next raid may be but I didn’t know specifics and you know that.”

You were sobbing through your words now but Bucky hadn’t moved from his place. “I was scared, Bucky, you can’t blame me, he terrifies me and I thought I was protecting you by not telling you but I think I was really protecting myself.” You let the words hang in the air, your sniffles the only sound in the room. 

Bucky was staring at the ground, he believed you. Of course he did, you were in front of him pouring your heart out to him. 

“I’m so sorry Bucky, I never meant to hurt you, I care about you too much to ever think about hurting you,” those words make Bucky snap.

“You don’t care about me,” his teeth were gritted but his voice was harsh. “You don’t even know me Y/N.” He’d heard those words too many times from all the girls he had attempted a relationship with, that they cared about them when in reality they only cared about his money.

His words were like a stab to your chest. You suddenly forgot about the dull pain in your shoulder after his words. “What?” It was all you could manage. “You think you’re protecting me by not telling me everything you know?” He had taken a couple of steps closer to you, his body imposing on your space. “You’ve ruined me, Y/N.”

“It wasn’t me,” your words were pointless, Bucky had already made his mind up. “Get out, I’ll have someone take you back home, you’re done here.” His voice was low and calm, and it scared you more than his harsh words from before.

It was final, there was nothing you could do now. You slowly turned, making your way to the door and opening it. You glanced back at Bucky before you left, “it’s Pierce, he’s the one who’s working with Rumlow.”

Bucky didn’t move, his back was the last thing you saw as you shut the door. 

--

Natasha drove you home after helping you pack all the things in your room. She was outraged when she heard what Bucky had said, threatening to go up to his room and give him a piece of her mind but you eventually convinced her to leave it.

You had already caused enough damage, she didn’t need to be making it worse.

“I think he’s just confused right now, give him some time and he might come round to what you’re saying and understand,” she tried to reason as she turned the corner onto your street. It felt familiar but there was a strange feeling settling into your stomach.

“I hurt him, Nat and I can’t do anything to take that back now,” you sighed. “I risked all your lives, I put you all in danger and I want you to know I truly am sorry, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Hey, don’t you dare apologise to me, I can handle myself, we all love you and we don’t want to lose you but let’s just keep Bucky happy for now,” Natasha had stopped outside of your apartment building and you stared out at it through the window. You wondered how it would feel to spend the night there instead of inside Bucky’s mansion that you had called home for so long. I guess now was the time to find out.

“Come on, let’s get you sorted,” with that, Natasha helped you move all your boxed up new items into your old home. 

“It’s very cute in here, I’m definitely coming around all the time,” Nat was drinking her coffee sat on the sofa. “Please do, it’ll be weird not having you around all the time,” you giggled and a smile broke out onto Nat’s face.

“I promise I’m just one call away, whenever you need me, I’ll come straight to you,” her voice was soft but firm as she spoke to you, you knew she meant what she was saying and you knew you’d definitely be calling her round whenever you could.

“I best be getting off anyway,” Natasha sighed, placing her now empty cup on the coffee table. “Don’t want Bucky having another reason to be angry at me,” she chuckled but you knew she was telling the truth.

“Thank you for everything Nat, you truly are one of my best friends, even without Bucky in the picture,” she drew you into a warm hug, giving you an extra squeeze before letting go. “You have a place in my heart, Y/N and you’re not going anywhere.”

Once Nat had left, the silence came crashing down on you as you replayed the last two days in your head. You couldn’t have imagined the mess you had got yourself into over the last month or so and now it was like nothing happened.

You thought back onto your moments with Bucky. That one moment in particular where you nearly kissed but it never happened. Your heart was so open to him in that moment, wanting nothing more than to spend all your time with him, and now you were getting nothing. Not even a proper goodbye.

You slowly made your way to your bedroom. The sheets still made from the last time you had left the house and never returned home. You pulled them back, getting into bed and hissing slightly at the pain the shot through your shoulder. 

You settled yourself down, closed your eyes and let out a deep breath. You had never felt so alone.

Part 12

[misterewrites]

Intro Casey 101 (Mirror’s Edge)

Hello everyone, E hoping you are all doing good! Here it is! The next chapter of the side project that's now my second major one. Because I have a problem and cannot be stopped! Haha stay safe, wash your hands, wear your masks, keep yourself, your loved ones and each other safe, get the vaccine if you can and remember to take care of yourselves.

Feel free to share this with your friends, leave me comments, feedback, reblogs. every bit makes me happy and helps! Have a great week and stay safe! E is out!

If you want an easier time to read it or to read it from the beginning you can follow the link below. Tumblr hates links and will probably shadow block my tags but you know what? Tumblr hates me in general so oh well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/78163523

Summary:  Casey is the head of the local Neighborhood Watch (and by head, he means only employee) Whenever not helping his best friend take down corrupted, evil jerkbutts, he spends his time running, maintaining and helping the magical/supernatural residents of Willow's Brook. Life is never static but Casey sometimes wishes it was a little less hectic. Just because he can handle it doesn't mean he wants to.

-----

Willow Rook was a peaceful neighborhood suburb located on the outskirts of Newton Haven, just within the city’s boundaries. Rows of mismatched houses and apartments spread out across the maddening maze that was suburbia. Fernspeaker Drift park was nestled in the heart of the neighborhood, its magical and mundane flora bringing a peaceful harmonic nature to the urban sprawl of man. The towering skyscrapers of downtown could be seen far into the distance, a reminder to the residents the city was never too far away.

The sounds of children screaming and shouting is what awoke Casey. He let out an unhappy groan as he rose from the hard wooden desk he accidentally fell asleep on. He rubbed his aching jaw, trying to loosen it from the rough night he had.

“Fuck” He yawned groggily “I really need to have a pillow here or something.”

He ran his hand through his normally wavy dark brown hair as his sea green eyes glanced about his “office”.

Office was much too generous a word for what he worked out of: It was tiny bungalow with barely enough room for a desk and chair, a case file drawer and the tv that sat ontop of it. Casey mentally prepared himself as he pulled open the curtains and allowed natural light to hit his face.

“Ugggggggh” Casey shielded his eyes from the harsh gleam of the morning “Why must the sun punish me?”

Casey stretched the crick in his neck while keeping an eye on the outside world: The neighborhood was particularly lively today with people out and about. The elderly elf Mr. Thistlebush was complaining about something or another to his dwarfish neighbor Mrs. Boulderfist who politely nodded and humored the old elf. Evan Starsunder, a muscular orc with dark green skin, tipped his mail cap tiredly to everyone he passed as he made his way into his cozy abode for a well earned rest. The newly married halfing (similiar but legally distinct from hobbits) couple Mr. and Mrs. Tealeaf took a stroll across the grassy field where Casey’s office stood, hand in hand and very much the picturesque ideal of young love.

Casey opened the window to let everyone know he was open for business.

“Good morning Mister Remington!” Mr. Tealeaf waved with a smile.

“How are you doing this morning?” Mrs. Tealeaf asked, half curious and half cheerfully.

“Great!” Casey lied, trying to stifle a yawn “Just great. Keeping on eye on the neighborhood, same as usual.”

“Keep up the good work!”

“We appreciate everything you do for all of us!”

“You’re welcome!” he gave a halfhearted wave after the retreating couple.

He sighed, mindlessly fiddling with the engagement ring on his finger.

“I should take it off” Casey spoke to no one in particular “She probably isn’t wearing hers anymore. I shouldn’t give people the wrong idea. I should just take it off and that’ll be it. That’ll be it. Yep. One slip and….yeah.”

His voice trailed off as he was unable to finish the thought.

“CASE!” A voice shouted.

Casey leaned out and squinted, trying to see through the glare of the sunlight to find the person who demanded his attention.

“CASE!” The voice called out again, the blurry far off figure slowly shifting into a more recognizable shape.

Casey rolled his eyes “What is it Kay? I’m working!”

Kasey Remington or, as most people called her, Kay was Casey’s twin sister. Nearly identical face with the same wavy dark brown hair and sea green eyes except Kay had gotten their mother’s button nose out of the deal. Growing up, the twins often questioned why their parents had named them Casey with a C and Kasey with the K but the only response they ever gave was it was funny.

Well not to the twins but they were used to it by now.

Kasey, in her mommy cardigan and white blouse, flagged down her brother to come outside.

“Yeah I’m good up here.” Casey smiled from his slightly elevated position.

“You’re tall for like 5 minutes and you’re already being unbearable about it.” Kasey huffed, shooting her twin a stink eye.

Casey chuckled “Mad with power. Classic story troupes.”

“Cliche you mean.” Kasey laughed “Sorry to bother you but….did you sleep in your office again?”

Casey rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he realized he was still wearing his purple tank top and black basketball shorts from the other day.

“Umm well you see….”

“Is your office still a mess?”

Casey glanced at the half crumpled burger wrappers and scattered papers that littered every inch of desk.

“Pfft, no.”

“That’s a yes” Kasey replied with a knowing smirk “Case….”

Casey fiercely pointed at his twin “Don’t.”

“Case, you can’t keep…”

“Yes I can. Watch me.”

Kasey rolled her eyes “I have better things to do.”

Casey scrunched up his face with false hurt “Better than hanging out with your brother? Alright I see how it is. See if I get you anything for Christmas.”

“No! Not my possible Christmas presents!” Kasey fell to her knees dramatically “You monster! How could you do to this to me?”

“Like this.” Casey spoke with a grin, closing the window without another word.

And made his way out of the building a moment later. He offered a hand to his sister and the twins burst out with laughter as Casey helped Kasey to her feet.

“So what’s up Kay?” Casey asked with genuine interest “Where’s Chester?”

Kasey scratched her chin thoughtfully “He’s...got...a….little league game today.”

“Wooooow took you a full five seconds to remember what your kid’s up today.” Casey snickered “Finally stop signing him up for everything?”

“Ha flipping ha.” Kasey shook her head mockingly “It’s not my fault he wants to do any and everything. Besides it’s not the worst thing in the world to enable my son’s interests. I just wish he slowed down a bit.”

“True. Did you thank him for the house he made for me?”

“Yes and he said you’re welcome. Still got it?”

Casey scoffed as he pulled out his necklace: The simple shape of home clasped carefully onto his chain.

“As a cleric of the hearth nothing is more important than a family’s love.”

“Except” Kasey murmured softly “Maybe your fiancée?”

“Nope!” Casey threw his hands in the air and turned away from his sister “Not having this conversation. Byeeeee.”

“Case! Casey you’re acting like a child!”

“Would a child do this? Hey Seth!”

A gawky human teenager with dark black clothing and every skull accessory imaginable flinched uncomfortably at the sudden attention.

Casey nodded his head in confirmation “Yeah you! Curfew’s 2:30 A.M. The Hallow spell won’t work during the witching hour so I want you back here before 3. Got it?”

Seth gave a low mumble and wandered off as quickly as his legs could take him.

“Casey.” Kasey laced her voice with a firmness only a mother could muster.

“Whaaaaaat?” Casey whirled around irritated “Look I made my choice and she made hers and that’s it.”

Kasey raised an eyebrow “You two have been in love with each other since we were kids.”

“Don’t you…!”

“Case, why don’t you ask her again?”

Casey said nothing, opting to gesture to his office to answer his question. Written in bright white letters across the walls of the building were the words “Neighborhood Watch.”

Kasey rubbed her arm guiltily “Case…”

“You gonna take over?” Casey questioned, his voice soft but controlled “You gonna take over for mom? Cuz she retired and unless there’s someone running the watch, all of this...”

He motions to the families walking, playing, living their lives together in harmony. A magical community at peace.

“All this goes away. We’re going to have to move everyone into other magical neighborhoods and under their Neighborhood Watches. And that’s not fair to them.”

Kasey let out a sad sigh “It’s not fair to you.”

“I’m fine” Casey lied “I’m okay I promise. It’s for the best.”

Kasey shook her head “You can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. See you for dinner?”

Casey hugged his twin tightly, pouring as much love as he could into the gesture.

“Of course. I’ll bring fries.”

Kasey made a face, playfully pushing him away “Would you bring something else, please?”

“Fine, mashed potatoes.”

“Ugh. Bye Case.”

“Bye Kay!”

Kasey eyed the engagement ring for a moment before taking her leave.

Casey ran his hands through his hair, wondering how much worse today could get.

He turned to make his way back to his office when he spotted a familiar face nearby.

His heart began to thunder loudly in his ears, the phantom sensation of lips pressed against his own ran chills down his spine while his cheeks flushed a bright red. His legs felt weak and butterflies filled his stomach as he took in the sight of Jaime casually walking down the street.

Jaime looked as beautiful as ever: Her long dark red hair was tied into a single braid that hung over her shoulder and shimmered in the soft glow of the morning. Her light brown eyes gleamed with a thoughtfully gaze as she looked at her phone. She was wearing his dark purple hoodie with dark blue jeans and sneakers. Her glasses were cutely askew and Casey felt the overwhelming urge to run over and fix them for her.

The engagement ring on his finger felt impossibly heavy yet light all at once.

He should talk to her. That was okay, right? To talk to someone he’s in love with and desperately wanted to be with. Did she want to talk to him? They left on decent terms. Well maybe. Hopefully. God what if she was mad at him? Or worse, hated him? She could never hate him that was silly. But perhaps she wasn’t ready to speak to him.

He knew he wasn’t ready.

Casey turned to Jaime’s direction then pulled away. He pivoted on his feet to face her again before glancing downwards towards the grass. His hands fidgeted uneasily as a shout threatened to spill out of his mouth.

Casey returned quickly to his office and shut close the window. Resisting the urge to stare at Jaime, he opted instead to reach for a crumpled piece of paper. He smoothed it out and began mindlessly scrawling upon its surface, drawing nothing in particular.

It was comical how automatic Casey’s responses became while he worked in this building: Upon hearing the knock at his door, he rose to his feet and opened it without a second thought.

Casey’s heart leapt to his throat at the sight of Jaime standing at the base of the steps from the bungalow. She smiled shyly, pushing up her glasses further up on the bridge of nose before giving a friendly wave. Her other hand was tucked deeply in the hoodie’s pocket.

“Hey sweetie” Jaime paused, pursing her lips for a moment “Case. How are you Case? Doing good Case? Can I stop now?”

Casey let out a genuine laugh “Hey swe….Jaime. You can stop. I’m good. I’m good. Good.”

He caught sight of his engagement ring gleaming in the sunlight. He quickly shoved it inside his pocket.

“That’s good. That’s good.” Jaime nodded “I’m glad to hear that.”

Casey caught her wandering glance across the office and quickly shifted his weight to block the view.

“So how’s the new job?” He crossed his arms in an clumsy fashion “Everything okay at the Grimoire?”

Jaime dug at the grass with her shoe “It’s good. Chaotic as usual but hey what do you expect for a magical library, right?”

The two chuckled together and locked eyes for a moment. As one they broke off their gaze, their cheeks slowly turning a pinkish hue.

Casey recovered first “How’s your brother? We talk but ever since last month he hasn’t recruited me to topple any corrupt bosses lately. I’m getting bored.”

“You sure you bored?” Jaime rolled her eyes “There’s no way the Neighborhood Watch is getting that soft.” “Haha I wish.”

An awkward silence fell over the couple as the realization of what subject they landed on washed over them.

“Finn’s good. Busy but good.” Jaime spoke with a fragile softness in her voice “You know my bro, always trying to save the world.”

“Right...”

Casey couldn’t help but noticed Jaime’s body language: She tucked both of her hands into the pockets, her frame shrunk like she was mentally kicking herself as she gawkily fidgeted back and forth.

“Hey.”

Jaime glanced upwards towards Casey, her light brown eyes shining brightly in the sun’s glow.

Casey could feel his heart ache with love and longing as he spoke simply “Don’t worry about it beautiful.”

Jaime said nothing. Instead, she closed the distance between them, gently cupping his cheek in her hand.

“Take care of yourself sweetie. Please. For me?”

Casey could feel his ache worsen but he just nodded, murmuring softly “For you.”

Jaime’s smile was sad but lovely. She pulled away slowly, allowing her fingers to linger for a moment.

“Bye for now Casey.”

“Bye Jaime.”

She left without another word and Casey felt exhaustion rush into every fiber of his body. He closed the door reluctantly and took a seat. He stared unhappily at the drawing of Jaime he hadn’t realized he’d be sketching.

“Fucking hell.”

He slumped deeper into his chair, feeling much too drained to face the rest of the day.

-----

“Shit, shit, shit” Seth muttered to himself as he raced through the night. The normally inviting, homely suburb was cold and distant: The shadows moved in eerie unnatural ways and once or twice Seth could soft pattering of paws follow closely behind. The modest homes and apartments were silent, basked in the darkness as they towered over him in silence.

“Just a cat” He mumbled to himself, glancing at his phone and wincing at the 3:30 AM it showed in a white font.

Seth entered Willow Rook proper and paled at the lack of comfort he normally felt in the air. Casey had warned him the Hallow spell, a powerful ward of holy magic that protected the neighborhood and hid it away from the world, would not work between 3 and 4 AM. Seth assumed he was merely attempting to scare him to return early. It never occurred to him that Casey was telling the truth.

Seth fumed silently “It’s fine. I’m late, it’s fine nothing followed me here and it’s fine.”

A chill ran down his spine as something rustled nearby. He whirled around in time to see something lunge straight for his chest.

He was ashamed how quickly he flinched, closing his eyes shut while raise his hands in a poor attempt to defend himself. He made quick prayer to whatever deity who happened to be on duty at the moment.

Something thudded against his chest. It didn’t stay long, instead quickly making its way up his shirt and tucked itself comfortably on his shoulder. It wasn’t too heavy but it was big whatever it was. Seth was surprised how warm and fluffy it was and swore it was purring in his ear.

He cracked open his eyes and found himself staring at an orange tabby cat: it was a fat cat with stripes of white and orange running down its body. Its dark green eyes stared curiously at him. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought it was asking him a question.

“Hey buddy” Seth breathed a sigh of relief, scratching the cat’s chin “What are you doing out here? Scaring the shit out of me?”

The cat pawed at his face rather roughly and with enough force to actually make him turn his head.

Seth felt the blood drain as he saw something approach in the shifting shadows: A monstrous thing, thin and skeletal. Its skin was a dark shade, almost as black as the darkness it blended in with. It crawled forward slowly on all fours, thick talons digging up and cutting through the pavement with ease. A bloody wrap covered its eyes and two thick, elongated fangs protruded from its lower jaw. The rest of its face was smooth and featureless.

The words died in Seth’s throat. The best he could do was a pathetic croaking noise he was grateful no one could hear in the dead night.

The creature tilted its head as if listening for any sign of its prey.

Seth couldn’t move, the fear gripping him tightly in its thrall. His breathing hitched and he could feel his body shake beyond his control as the creature inched closer and closer.

The cat leapt off his shoulder, silently landing onto the grass and bolting into the night.

Seth’s stomach churned and twisted anxiously as the creature stared in his direction, a growling rumble escaping its mouth. It let loose a maddening shriek, one that shook Seth’s very bones. It stood on its hind legs and grew to an inhuman height. Its mouth lowered, stretching impossibly wide as it leapt forward.

Seth felt cold and empty as the sight of the monster filled his sight. The fight ebbed out of him and left only an overwhelming sense of dread and finality.

This is how it ended.

It was an odd sensation to feel at the end: the warmth and glow of the sun at his back. Perhaps some higher being was taking mercy on him in his last moments on this plane of existence.

Wait, no the warmth was getting brighter and hotter. An unbearably stuffy and blazing with an intensity of a summer day that grew each passing moment.

Seth groaned, wincing in pain as a sudden flash of light zoomed past with incredible speed. It burned brightly, dispelling the silhouetted shadows with a burning flame despite it being no bigger than a baseball.

The creature reared back and thrashed about, too caught off guard by the sudden glow to realize it was coming straight for it. The orb collided with the creature’s chest and sunk deeply into its chest. The creature howled and buckled in pain, bending and twisting at unnatural angles.

The light faded and the orb with it but Seth could see the fist sized hole it had burned through the chest of the creature.

The creature weakly swayed, seemingly weakened by whatever hit it.

“Not in my neighborhood you punkass bitch.”

Seth weakly turned to find Casey standing there, the fat orange tabby at his feet. The head of the Neighborhood Watch finally changed his clothes: He wore a purple jacket with a black shirt that read “Neighborhood Watch” in faded white lettering. His gray sweats were wrinkled and his feet were adorned with two different sneakers. Outstretched in his hand like he had taken a swing at something was a glowing metal baseball bat that pulsed with radiant power.

“Casey, I…” Seth mumbled out but Casey motioned with his head.

“Go home kid. This ain’t the minor leagues.”

Seth was ashamed to say he ran, frantically and as fast as his sore legs could take him. Whatever just attacked him was out of his weight class.

Luckily Casey was in a league of his own.

The creature clicked its tongue unhappily as it moved uneasily on its hind legs. It bent and twisted its neck in a way that would’ve broken it if the creature had been human.

Casey rolled his eyes as he gripped the bat tightly in his hand “Drama queen much, aren’t you?

The creature said nothing. Instead it threw itself forward full force towards the cleric.

“Here we go.” Casey murmured tiredly as he drew his bat back.

The creature took a swipe at him but Casey already moved out of the way, dodging to the side and allowing the creature sail past him. It twisted its head around only to get a face full of metal: Casey’s swing caught the creature in the cheek and sent it reeling backwards.

The creature shrieked in pain as smoke curled off its face, the cheek swollen and charred an ashy black. It didn’t hesitate to attack once more: It stood up and tried to crush Casey under its full weight.

Casey just shoved the bat directly into the hole he made earlier.

The creature hissed and retreated away from the holy infused weapon. More smoke bellowed from the now enlarged hole.

Casey raised his bat threateningly “Go back to wherever the hell you came from or I will beat you out of existence you flipping abomination.”

If the creature understood the threat, it made no indication. Instead it doubled down on its poor choices.

It sat back on the balls of its feet, tensing its legs in preparation for a mighty leap.

Between helping the inhabitants of the neighborhood with their requests, talking to Jaime and frankly being awoken to a fucking demon attack at 3 am, Casey was just done with all yesterday and evidently today.

Casey’s hand glowed with a dazzling radiant light as he spokes the words of faith. Magic formed and condensed into a single ball of pure sun in his palm.

The creature sprinted forward, tearing up the grass underneath its feet while it desperately made one final dash towards the cleric.

Casey lobbed the ball high in the air and fell into a batter’s stance.

The orb hung in the air for a moment like a blazing sun then fell back to earth.

The creature leapt, talons aimed for Casey’s neck.

Casey let out a mighty swing. There was a loud crack as the bat made contact with the orb. The ball of light sped off and shoved itself down the creature’s throat. The bat follow through connected with the head of the creature and knocked it cleaned off.

The ball gleamed bright in the beast’s stomach before exploding outward like a supernova. The creature flaked away into blacken ash, head and all.

The gleam of light vanished and Casey found himself under the cover of night once more.

He wiped at his eyes tiredly as his phone beeped. He glanced at it to see it was now 4 in the morning.

There was a soft hum as the Hallow reactivated: the air shimmered with an unseen power and grew warm with comfort.

The ashes vanished without warning, the unholy remains cleansed by the sanctity of the neighborhood.

The cat drew closer to Casey, its eyes peering at him thoughtfully.

“Hey Julius” Casey greeted the cat politely “Long night?”

Orange Julius meowed in response.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on him. I knew he’d stay out late but hopefully he understands why we have a rather generous curfew.”

Orange Julius nodded.

“That’s been like what? The third demonic hell beast/ abomination this month. That’s a lot for a month.”

Orange Julius meowed in agreement.

Casey pursed his lips thoughtfully “Hey, did you see Finn?”

The cat tilted his head quizzically.

“I mean all this time you. He. Well you aren’t around whenever he comes by” Casey scratched his neck sheepish “You are his dad’s cat. You sure Fernspeaker wouldn’t want you to be with him?”

The cat paused for a moment before shaking his head.

“It’s not because Jaime’s folks adopted him after…..well that happened, is it?”

The cat pawed the grass below him.

“Right.” Casey nodded in understanding “Neighborhood’s your responsibility. I get that.”

Orange Julius meowed then vanished into the darkness.

Casey glanced at the statue of Fernspeaker that stood tall in the center of park. It had been erected the same time the park was named after him, both shortly after his and his wife’s death 22 years ago.

Fernspeaker Drift, Finnrick’s biological father, was once a powerful druid, deeply in tune with nature and a firm believer in helping others. This neighborhood was his passion project. The Neighborhood Watch was formed after his passing.

The Neighborhood Watch was created because of his passing. Nobody wanted a repeat of what happened all those years ago.

Finnrick told him it was okay for Casey to not to take the job but it felt like such a disrespect to let this whole place dissolve and scatter its residents.

Casey sighed and wandered back to his office. Office hours were closed but the Neighborhood Watch’s job was never done.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter III | Raul Mendes

                                               *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the third chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

                                 previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 4.1K+

*Warnings: cursing, probably wrong tips about physical fighting (I'm sorry, I know shit about it!),  therefore mentions of physical fight (only training though), jealousy if you squint.  

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 15th, 2021.

                                                   -*-

Y/N wishes she could punch Raul’s perfectly aligned teeth and annoying smirk away. 

Ever since their mission was announced a couple of days ago, Raul made her work out hard, harder than she’s been doing for a while. It’s not like she was in a bad shape, she couldn’t exactly avoid training being constantly sent on field missions. But since she normally stood on a far safe distance, she didn’t need to run 10 miles everyday on the treadmill or on the streets -which was her best friend’s preferred spot since the terrain was irregular and they had to be alert every single minute so they don’t end up being hit by a car. And that’s precisely what he made her do. 

They had to be at work at 8:00 a.m. every day, so Raul picked her up at 5:30 so they could have breakfast before their run, she’d then curse him on the way back to her apartment so they could get ready. He would only laugh at her, promising it would be worth it. Then they’d go into a meeting to discuss final details with the people they picked to form their team. After a long meeting arranging mostly details and cover up stories, they’d go to lunch, only to come back and train using the new gear, shooting and physical fight. The group had to be ready to face pretty much everything imaginable, the risk of this mission was like no other Y/N could remember, so they had to be the best of the best. 

So yeah, maybe Raul was just being careful, but she was sure he was only finding new ways to torture her. 

That’s why the team consisted on Raul as the captain, or co-captain as she liked to tease, and Y/N as the responsible for the strategy. There was Jack who was picked to be Raul’s right hand on the field, he was an experienced agent and has worked with him on many occasions, meaning their chemistry on the field was great. He was a huge, strong man with the sweetest and kindest heart, always laughing out loud and making jokes around. Then there was Celine. Celine’s past is a mystery no one was able to figure out, at least not yet. She was not a person of many words, always quietly watching everyone and everything, ready to shoot the first one that comes her way. Despite being Daphne’s cousin, who was all soft touches and pastel colors, Celine was brutally honest and even a little blunt, but had a great soul with good intentions, maybe just not the best person skills on the team.

And despite all that, she seemed to like Y/N for some reason, wasn’t the biggest fan of Raul, but she didn’t deny he was a great agent. So Y/N picked her cause she trusted her with her life, knowing she would do anything necessary to finish their mission. And then there was Thomas. Tommy as Raul liked to tease, was a newly turned full agent (three month ago to be precise) and still lacked a bit of that intuition only time and experience could give you, nonetheless he was a suggestion the boss made herself. Thomas was a great agent, with fresh ideas and still a bit naive, but he was quick at thinking, new a lot about tech and was a great field agent high made him a lot more complete than older ones. And with that, the team was closed and all worked out together after lunch until their bodies gave out. 

And to make it simple, the beginning was hellish, the end of the week was just like the beginning. 

The first day they started training physical combat, she was paired with Celine, which she was sure was attempted murder. Five minutes fighting she was on the floor, unable to move and breathing hard. Raul quickly climbed on the ring, helping her to get up as he told Celine to replace him with Tom. He moved her to sit on the little bench and brought her a bottle of water as she shook her head. 

“You know I can walk and do this myself, right?”

Raul huffed an amused laugh and nodded, sitting beside her “of course I do, doll, just taking care of my girl, yeah?”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, bumping his shoulder with hers as she chugged the water down “maybe I’m way worst than I originally thought”

“No, you’re not bad” he said shaking his head and she let out an annoyed breath “I mean it, you’re just rusty, this is not your field anyway, and you can’t use any weapons on the ring, so it’s harder, come on, you just need to activate muscle memory”  Raul said patting her back as he got up. 

“Wish I could believe in myself like you do” she giggled sadly as she took his bigger outstretched hand, letting him pull her up.

“Me too, but don’t worry, we’ll get there, that’s why you have me, silly” he pinched her cheeks “now come on, you’ve got a lot to remember”

He took her to the punching bags, grabbing a pair of gloves for him to wear for her to punch. Then proceeded to bark orders and different combinations of moves, and surprisingly, she remembered most of them, not necessarily executing them perfectly, but it was a start. He then got rid of the gloves before carefully wrapping her hands and moving her to a punching bag. 

“Here’s the thing, doll, you know what you’re doing, you just need to do it better” He placed his hands on her shoulders straightening her position, one hand sliding down her right arm to correct the movement “try it now” he said, his warm breath on her ear, making her suppress a shiver and forcing her to focus on the bag in front of her. 

Y/N tried and it definitely improved, but it still wasn’t what she remembered doing, something felt off “okay, yeah, thanks”

“Good, now fix your legs, you’ll be fighting someone who possibly knows how to fight back, so rearrange your feet to gain more balance in case they come for you” he instructed, hands still on her shoulders as he used his own feet to fix hers in the floor “yeah, that’s it, now the strength” his gently glided down her arms, only for them to stop at her waist and stomach “this is where you have to focus on, contracting abdominal muscles will help the movement and impact of your punch, this is what you’re missing”

She knew he wasn’t necessarily teasing her or anything, this was just Raul trying to help her in his very touchy way, but that didn’t stop Y/N from becoming a bit speechless, not trusting her own voice to respond, she only nodded her head. To which he just laughed stepping back.

“Relax your shoulders and don’t forget how to breathe, doll” he said crossing his arms above his chest as he watched her finally letting go of her breath, taking a deep one before punching a few times

It wasn’t perfect, but it was almost there.

Raul knew she was good and completely capable of taking anyone down within seconds, her grades on every test they ever took serving as even more proof for them. She just needed to remember it a bit and he wanted her to be completely ready to face anything, he couldn’t afford her getting hurt on anybody’s watch, specially his. So he would do anything he possibly could to avoid that. 

“Good, now give a few more, try a few kicks” he said and she looked back at him to nod, her breathing a bit elaborate  “I’ll meet on the ring later, sweetheart” Raul added with a wink before turning around to see the rest. 

“Fuck you” he heard her mumbling before turning back to her task at hand, making him chuckle lightly as he moved around the gym. 

Raul walked around helping as he could, wrestling with Jack for old time’s sake, adjusting a few of Tom’s moves and helping Celine with the new guns they’re given. He even managed to train a bit himself, before he decided it was time to take her to the ring before Y/N gave up on him and moved to something else. So he walked up to find her talking to Jack, he couldn’t hear much, but he heard enough to know it was time to intervene. 

“-yeah, Adrian keeps asking me about you, I think he wants to take you out, you should go, he’s a great guy and word around he’s good in what he does, if you know what I mean” he teased wiggling his eyebrows at Y/N, making her giggle “you should go out with him, really, you’re both single”

“He can ask her out when we’re back, the only date she’s having for now is on the ring, come on, doll” Raul cut the conversation before he could listen to her reply. 

“Jealous, cap?” Jack asked with a lopsided smile on his lips as she just laughed.

“Of Y/N? All the time, a pretty girl like her always has everyone’s attention, you should see whenever we go out to eat something or whatever”

Y/N rolled her eyes “oh please, shut up, both of you”

“I mean it, doll, now come on, let’s see how you improved” he said cracking his knuckles “and you, haven’t you got anything better to do than gossip?”

“Of course not, I’m all done” Jack replied.

“Done of getting your ass beaten today, you’ll only be ready whenever you’re able to take me down” Raul said as he draped his arm around Y/N’s shoulder. 

Jack only threw a middle finger at Raul as both of the boys laughed. 

Y/N and Raul climbed on the closest ring, with her stretching a bit as he did the same, both in some sort of staring competition. Everything with them could easily become a competition -who drank water fastest, little races to get to a certain place, who could count the most amount of super specific cars on a road trip, but the most common and their personal favorite, staring competition. And that was a recurring thing ever since they’re basically babies. And they both hated loosing and would try as hard as they could to beat the other. 

Raul’s mind was racing. He wanted to ask if she was actually interested in someone at if she’d say eyes to whoever wanted to ask her out, or even if she actually looking for a date or maybe even if she didn’t want a serious relationship for now. All that while he had this beautiful sparkling with excitement eyes staring into his soul, leaving him bare for her to read. Meanwhile, she was only trying to concentrate on what was about to happen and also on trying to keep her heart at a normal pace, knowing full well she was about the get really close to her best friend. Also having the other stare at her so intently it was making it hard for her to breathe properly.

“Ready?”

Raul only smiled at her “Was born ready, doll”

Y/N then surged forward, getting him by surprise with her punch landing on his shoulder, and he had to admit, her punch was good. With the element of shock on her favor, she tried hitting him again, clearly avoiding his face. Raul then stepped forward regaining his composure and cornering her slowly, only blocking her attempted attacks, without fighting back. He then was kicked hard on the thigh, a surprised yelp leaving his lips with the painful sensation spreading through his muscles, and just as she was about to hit him in his chest, he grabbed her hand, the other being quick to join his grasp on his right hand. 

“Not so bad, sweetheart” he said with a triumph smile on his lips but she was quick to get her left hand loose moving around to get out of the space he guided her to limit her space.

Then she started her series of punches and kicks again, him dodging most of them, but still being hit a few times making him proud but at the same time breath heavier on the pain spreading on his abused skin. When her hand came to hit him in the chest again, he grabbed it, already bringing the other one to join, before bringing her to the floor and immobilizing her with his own body. Y/N stopped struggling quickly, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to do much to get out of his grasp. She was panting heavily, but it was worth it, cause she was able to make him sweat and be a little less composed than when they started. 

“Bet your secret admirer would be proud” Raul said still unmoved on top of her.

“Bet he would” Y/N sassed back and Raul chuckled, dropping his head to her collarbone and she swear her heart skipped a beat, her breath hitching on her throat. 

Raul got up, offering a hand to her, which she gladly took “are you going out with him?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know if that’s true or the guy, maybe? I think this is not the moment, so maybe i’m the future, who knows?” she shrugged, grabbing her water bottle and drinking before offering it to him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right” he said closing it again, pulling the ropes for her to step out.

Y/N turned around to face Raul, and as she waited for him she asked “what about you?”

“Me? What about me?” Raul stared at her, noticing the others were already gone.

“Are you proud?” she asked with a teasing smirk, voice playful, but deep down, that was all that mattered to her. Not Adrian or anyone else.

“I’m always proud of you, doll” he smirked at her and she only shook her head giggling “but yes, you’re good at it, just a bit more practice, you’re a natural”

                                                  -*-

“Come on, sweetheart, climb up here and I’ll let you all go so you can get ready for tomorrow” Raul said as he was propped up by the hopes on the ring, a smirk on his lips as everyone started gathering around. 

It was the last day of preparing before they left the next morning. They’ve spent the whole week perfecting their skills and cover ups until it rolled out smoothly off their tongues. Y/N and Raul started a routine, they decided to set camp on his living room since it was a lot bigger than hers, so they would wake up already on his place, grab breakfast, run for a while before going straight to work. Then they’d meet their teammates for a brief discussion, after hitting the gym until their limbs gave out. When it neared 6 p.m., they’d leave for his place where they’d shower and order takeout or cook something simple, before talking until they fell asleep, most nights on the living room.

And despite she remembered as clear as day she fell asleep on the couch, she would wake up on his bed, wrapped on a heavy duvet, with the sound of water droplets hitting the ground from his bathroom. They never talked about it, both acting as if this routine was normal and settled for years now. And it was shocking how well they fit the role of this whole domestic situation. And Peter was loving it, always throwing knowing looks at her whenever she went to visit his lab area. 

Y/N only rolled her eyes at him and Celine bumped her shoulder on Y/N’s, a feline smile gracing her sharp gorgeous features, and then  she turned to the six feet man standing at the edge of the ring “fine, but you’re buying me dinner”

“Whatever you want, and if you’re able to win, I’ll even buy sushi for you and give you a back massage” he offered as he pulled the ropes to help her climb, bowing his head trying to hold back a chuckle.

She climbed on as he let the rope snap back into its place “And what would I have to do if I loose?” she teased, knowing full well she was going to take the offer only to have a chance to rub his smirk on the dirty and sweaty ground beneath her feet.

“Pack my bag and say I’m the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on” he stated simply. And honestly, it wouldn’t be such a hard thing to do, but first, she wouldn’t want to add it to his already over inflated ego, second, she didn’t know if she would be able to say it without blurting out some other compromising feelings. 

But Y/N stares at him and smiled lazily, like she wasn’t bothered at all  and truly contemplating his offer “tempting”

“Come on, babydoll” he mockingly pouted at her and she playfully sighed rolling her eyes, cracking her knuckles and rolling her head. 

“Alright, but you better be ready to order from my favorite place and get me dessert” she added with a pointed look and he nodded eagerly. 

“You make the rules” he winked before walking backwards to his designated spot “ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get this over it so you can buy me dinner” she teased, watching from the corner of her eyes as her teammates and even Peter gathered around to watch “or we can just stay here all night watching you brag about yourself and being all talk no action”

Raul laughed before shaking his head and a more concentrated look latch onto his eyes “don’t hold back, sweetheart”

“Not my thing” she said before taking a deep breath and trying to remember all she learned this week, making her first move.

Raul blocked her relatively easily, and then their movements flowed in an intricate rhythm. With only a few days of training, the improvement on her technique was obvious as she maneuvered a lot more gracefully than before. Her hits a lot more consistent, her defense was up and she was able to notice her opponents weakness so she could plan the next move. Y/N was also able to notice patterns on their tactics and predict their next move. 

And he was a bit shocked. In a good way, but shocked nonetheless. 

He knew she was good, Raul’s seen her training before, saw all her tests and grading throughout the years. Hell, he even taught her a lot of tricks he picked up over the years, so he knew how she behaved on a physical fight, knew her favorite moves and her worst ones like the back of his hand. But she surprised him with a few new hits and tricks he hasn’t seen her doing before. And that’s what caught him off guard and made her hit him hard a couple of times. That made Raul proud. Sure, he would loose the bet, but giving her a back massage, buying her food and seeing her happy after defeating him was priceless. 

He didn’t make it easy for her, he never would. He wanted her to be the best of the best, always. So he hit back, avoiding her head or going to strong, she had to be whole for the other day. But that didn’t stop him from trying to take her down, but she was quick, she wasn’t too strong, but her agility made up for it.

“Come on, we have an audience, we should put on a show”

Y/N shook her head, concentration never leaving her determined eyes “I’m not an actress to entertain a crowd, nor a clown like you, baby”

“Hey!” he sounded offended, grabbing her fist in his bigger hand “rude”

She just shrugged, pulling her hand back before going back into action and it couldn’t be even more exciting. The teasing, the meaningless banter and still great performance on the wrestle was enough to put an ease on Raul’s heart. She could do it. Of course she could, but now there would be less collateral damage. 

So when he felt her kick him to the ground, quickly pinning him to the rubber type material floor, immobilizing him in a way he wasn’t even able to move his arms if she didn’t let go. Y/N was sat on his stomach, face hovering centimeters above his, breath on frantic rhythm, as he panted on her face, feeling the slow pain crippling on his back and limbs where it collided with the floor. Raul couldn’t help but smile at the surprised and amused glint on her eyes as she was slowly processing she was able t take him down. The cheerful screams around them were only white noise as they stared at each other’s eyes, and he already felt like his heart was going to burst with pride and happiness, that until he heard the gleeful flightless leaving her lips as realization finally hit her, her forehead hitting his clavicle as she laughed, pure joy coursing through her veins.

He ended up laughing with her, his cheeks hurting from the smile stretched across his face. Y/N nuzzled her face on his neck still buzzing happily as she laughed. Raul turned his head lightly, only enough to press a kiss to her temple as she recovered her breathing. 

When she finally did, she untangled her legs from his, getting up from his torso and offering a hand at him, which he gladly took as he stood up, facing his colleagues as they still laughed and cheered at her. Celine climbed up to meet her with a quick, sharp, strong hug in congratulations before dragging her down with her. Jack was quick to pat Raul on the back as he chuckled, mumbling a ‘good luck with your girl, dude, she’s a badass and you’re gonna need it’. When he finally met her eyes again, he offered her his hand and Y/N automatically took it, letting him pull her closer until she was in his arms. 

“That was insane, doll, shit, you did so good” he said, arms loosely looped around her waist and she beamed proudly at him. 

“I did work hard for that” Y/N shrugged trying to play it coy but he was only able to chuckle.

Raul nodded “yeah, I noticed, and I’m so fucking proud of you for that, and many more reasons, but that?! You’re the fucking best, you know?” he praised and she felt her body heating up. 

“Actually” she said softly, looking down at his silver necklace “Celine’s the best, she showed me a few new tricks that I combined with the ones you taught me and the ones I already knew, so yeah”

“When did that even happen?” he didn’t try hiding his initial shock. They’ve been basically around each other 24/7, how did he not notice her training with someone else the past week?

“Well, to be fair you’re too cocky for your own good” Y/N had that pointed look in her eyes as she poked him on his broad chest “so I kinda asked her to show me how I could take you down and we’ve been doing it in secret, mostly when you went down to meet with Peter or to practice shooting”

“So it was a whole scheme just to try to embarrass me and knock me out?” he’s tone in a playful accusation as his brows shot up in evident disbelief.

“To sum it up, yeah, pretty much” she shrugged innocently as Raul threw his head back laughing.

“That's fucking awesome, you’re amazing” he said letting go of her waist, only to turn to face their team, dropping his arm around her shoulders “alright, guys, it was a hard week but I believe it paid off. We learned a lot with each other and I believe we’re a lot better now. This is still a fucked up mission, but I think we’re ready to face it and as long as we keep on working together and communicating well, we’ll be alright and coming back home as soon as possible, yeah? Think we should call it a day and test tonight”

“Okay, cap” Tom replied eagerly making Y/N chuckle before shaking her head. 

“So what do you say, cap?” Y/N asked teasingly as the others laughed.

Raul smiled down at her as he shook his head “Think we’re ready, doll”

                                                   -*-

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@mariamuses