#my fucking L E G S what the HELL

[stonerbellybabe]

I really shock myself when I see myself sometimes. This is one of those times.

[87dvhnk]

"i read the wiki and i saw the pages/panels already, why do i need to read the comics?"

because a) some those comics fuck with awing dexterity and stamina b) there's a good chance shit is out of context or simply misrepresented (innocently, humorously, ignorantly or maliciously) and c) you know the beats/endings of tons of shit, but it doesn't impede your enjoyment of it, now does it? sure it's nice to go in spoiler free, but if the gimmick of spoiling material is all a piece of media has, then that piece of media is meritless. you knew who luke skywalker's father was before you saw the movie. is it still worth watching? you knew romeo and juliet died before you read the play. is it still worth reading? do you not want to go on a journey? do you not want to feel something? do you not want to commiserate about the human experience through art? a wiki will never be comprehensive enough to cover everything you would have read or seen yourself--it can't be, not without being the thing itself. even then, you still miss the things not on the page/screen, the things that are only implied, the things that go unstated, or else conspicuously omitted. don't talk to me about shit haunting the narrative if the only haunting you've ever been apart of was your passing despite your dogshit analysis skills haunting the conscience of your eng 101 adjunct professor in perpetual fear of losing their contract and being relocated from their car to under a bridge by demanding college students demonstrate basic reading comprehension, critical thinking, and coherent argumentative skills. boast about killing the author? my friend, you are cain advancing in the fields, skulking, stepping in abel's footprints, filled with murderous intent, with nothing but the chinese telephone-equivalent of a description of a weapon cutting into your soft palms.

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

The ABCs of Alastor - Cum

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! MINORS DNI!

Words: ~2200 TW: swearing, vaginal sex, exhibitionism (I think that's how it's called), cum, fingering

Alastor was not the kind to take his frustrations on you, especially not when he was jealous. He'd rather make the unfortunate soul who dared to hit on you feel like it was the last mistake they'd ever done. He knew it was not your fault when you gained unwanted attention, so there'd be no point in being mad at you.

But when Lucifer stepped into the Hazbin Hotel, his eyes roaming over your body as his lips briefly touched your hand, kissing it, Alastor saw red before him. If he wasn't Charlie's father, the very next moment there'd be nothing left of him apart from that ridiculously big hat of his. But he had to keep it together. So instead of throwing snarky remarks at him, he approached you, a hand tightly gripping your waist.

"And who are you?" Lucifer asked with a raised brow, his hand lingering possessively over yours as if daring Alastor to respond.

"The Radio Demon, at your service," his eyes twitched in frustration and just by the looks of it, you could tell how pissed he was.

"Never heard of you." The King of Hell dismissed him, his focus returning to you. "Now, darling, how about you show me the hotel?"

"I am sorry to inform you that (Y/n) has other business to attend right now," Alastor said through his teeth, his claws digging into your flesh at that point.

"Yeah, Dad! How about I show you the hotel?" Charlie intervened, laughing awkwardly as she pushed her father away, giving you an apologetic look. You both watched as Charlie and Vaggie led him away, the tension in the air growing heavier around you..

"Damn, Alastor... The King of Hell himself is hitting on ya girl!" Angel Dust teased, disturbing both of you from your thoughts. "I'd be careful if I were you."

His grip on you tightened further when he heard Angel mocking him, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the spider demon. He was already struggling to repress his irritation towards Lucifer's actions, and Angel's words only served to push him closer to the edge

"(Y/n)..." he said, his voice tense. "I am waiting for you in our room. We have some things to discuss." he disappeared in one of his portals, leaving you alone with Angel Dust and Husker. You took a deep breath, not even noticing you were holding it.

"You're fucked, toots." Angel chuckled.

"What? What have I done?" you asked confused as he came closer to you.

"I've seen this look before! He's jealous as fuck. He's gonna fuck your guts until you'll need assistance to walk."

Your heart raced, a mix of fear and excitement churning in your stomach. "I don't think it's that!"

He gently pats you on the shoulder, giving you a smirk. "We'll see 'bout that."

You sighed, mumbling under your breath as you made your way to your room, not wanting to piss him off further. A sense of excitement and nervousness filled you as Angel's words replayed in your head. Was he mad at you? But it wasn't your fault Lucifer was being touchy...

You stopped in front of your shared bedroom, taking a deep breath before you touched the doorknob. But before you could open the door yourself, it burst open, shadowy tentacles dragging you inside and throwing you on the bed, the door shutting tight behind you. As more shadows spawned to hold down your wrists and legs, Alastor stepped in front of you, slowly approaching the bed, his cane tapping the floor with every step.

He looked down at you, his face still set in the typical smile, but his eyes were full of annoyance, his clawed fingers tightly gripping the fabric of his coat.

"What was that, my dear?" He said through gritted teeth, his voice low and dangerous.

"Alastor... He didn't know, alright? I think he got the message now." you said, a tentacle slowly gripping your neck, choking you slightly.

"Oh, I'm sure he got the message, my dear." Alastor knelt on the bed, his hands resting on either side of your head, trapping you under him. The tentacle around your neck continued to tighten its grip, making it harder to breathe. "But that doesn't change the fact that he was touching you, in front of everyone... in front of me." He was leaning closer to you now, his face inches away from yours.

You gasped for air as his claws traced your body, from your neck to your waist, slowly dragging the soft fabric of your clothes. "And if I'm being honest, you seemed to enjoy the attention too."

"What? No! I wasn't!" you said in defence, as the tentacles pushed you further into the bed.

Alastor's eyes narrowed as he chuckled darkly, clearly not buying your protest. "Oh, really?" His hand moved to the hem of your top, his fingers gently tugging it upward, exposing your stomach. "Because it looked like you were into it, my dear..." He said, the tip of his clawed finger now tracing the revealed skin, sending shivers down your spine. "And the fact that you didn't pull away from him, not for a moment..." He leaned even closer, his breath hot on your neck. "That tells me a lot..."

His eyes glowed in the dim light of the room, but you couldn't help the feeling of excitement in your chest, the situation was morbidly arousing and scary at the same time. "It's not true, Alastor!"

He chuckled again, the sound sending a chill down your spine. "Is it not, my dear?" He continued to caress your body, his hand now moving under your skirt, his fingers tracing small patterns on your thigh. "Because you seem quite excited for someone who wasn't enjoying Lucifer's attention..." He mused a hint of mockery in his voice.

You looked away, a dark blush on your face as his hand moved dangerously close to your core, threatening to feel how wet you were already. "It isn't because of him, asshole..." you mumbled.

His eyes gleamed with satisfaction at your response, a devilish smirk spreading across his lips. "Is that so?" He leaned in once more, his hot breath caressing your ear. "Then tell me, my dear... who exactly is making you this excited right now?" His hand moved slightly higher, the wetness drenching your panties as he slowly rubbed your core. You let out a gasp when you felt his clawed hand against you, wanting more with every move. "Is it me who got you this wet?" he asked huskily, his breath tickling the skin of your neck.

"Yes..." you whispered, fighting against the restraints that kept you in place, wanting to touch him so badly. "It's only you, Alastor! Only you can make me feel this way."

A sinister smile curled on his lips as he leaned in, his kiss a delicate contrast to the growing intensity of his touch, each stroke sending shockwaves through your body. His cock grew even harder at your words, pleasing him immensely. "Then how about we make sure he knows this too?" he whispered.

"What... What do you mean?" you sheepishly asked, afraid of what idea he might have.

"How about we let him know how good I can make you feel? Only me."

He slowly pulled away, his eyes never leaving yours, savouring every moment of anticipation. With deliberate precision, he unzipped his trousers, letting the tension hang in the air before pressing his cock against your trembling body.

He placed his microphone next to your face, and that's when it hit you - you weren't the only ones to hear the lewd sounds that were yet to come.

"Alastor? What are you doing?!"

Alastor chuckled softly, clearly enjoying your surprise response.

"I'm going to make a point, my dear. Now, be a good girl and be as loud as you can."

He pushed your panties aside, forcing his cock inside of your hole, a loud moan filling the room as he entered you completely. He stopped for a moment, wiping the small tears that gathered in the corner of your eyes. "It's a good start. Good girl." he praised as he pulled out, only to slam back into you.

"Fuck~ Take it easy, Al!" you said as he thrusted a few more times inside of you.

"Oh, but my dear... You seem to like it."

His thrusts became faster, as the tentacles spread your legs further, giving him more access. You arched your back as his cock came in and out of you harshly, the sounds of your arousal and skin slapping filling the room.

"You hear this, Your Majesty?" Alastor said in a mocking tone, grabbing the microphone. "It's a special broadcast, just for you."

He threw the microphone back on the bed, leaning over you, his hips harshly meeting yours. His tongue invaded your mouth, as moans of pleasure echoed through the room, making him go faster.

"Tell him, dear!" he said between grunts. "Tell him who's making you feel so good!"

You felt more tentacles caressing your body, grabbing and running across every inch of skin they could find. A powerful wave of pleasure took over your body as one of them started to rub your clit, your mind going blank as his cock fucked you into the bed, driving you closer to your orgasm.

"Fuck! Alastor! Fuck - Fuck me!" you gasped, your eyes teary from the pleasure.

You moaned loudly as a strong orgasm hit you, leaving your body a trembling mess, the feeling of overstimulation making you lightheaded as he continued to ram into your heat. He groaned at how tight you became, but his cock continued to drag painfully across your velvet walls.

"You're... You're gonna take every single bit of my seed, dear!" he said through gritted teeth as the tentacles lifted your ass from the bed, allowing him to fuck you even deeper than before, his claws digging into your waist. His cock felt like it was going to break through you, as you dipped your nails in your palms, feeling like you were about to faint.

With a few more powerful thrusts, he spilt his cum inside of you. He stood there for a moment, his eyes shut as the pleasure left his body. His breath heavy as small droplets of sweat made his forehead glow. The tentacles left your sore body and gently allowed you to fall on the bed.

Panting, his cock still inside of you, he grabbed the microphone. "Until next broadcast, Your Majesty." he chuckled a bit, his attention returning to you. "Are you alright, my little doe?" he asked, his claws gently tracing your flustered cheek.

"You really... You really broadcasted the whole thing?" you asked, somehow less worried about it than you should've been.

"Let's just say I placed a radio in his room... As a gift. If he heard it or not... We're yet to find out." he chuckled, pulling himself out. You winced at the sudden feeling of his fingers roughly entering you, pumping your pussy a few times, the stretch feeling unbearable now.

"Alastor, please…" you gasped, the words slipping out before you could stop them, torn between protest and longing.

"I said you're gonna take everything, dear. And I meant it!" he placed your panties back, gently patting your heat. "I want that fucker to smell me when he sees you. If the broadcast wasn't enough, of course."

You got up, and he gently helped you, a soft smile on his face this time. You buried your face into his chest, hugging him tightly as he made small circles on your back.

"Are you mad at me?" you asked.

"Absolutely not, my dear! I just needed to prove something... And I think we did a pretty good job." he praised.

The idea of having Alastor's cum inside you all day seemed exciting... until you had to walk around the hotel with the sticky fluid making a mess of your panties.

You rested your chin on your hand, trying to ignore the weird feeling between your legs, your cheeks flustered after you told Angel what happened.

"Holy shit, toots! I didn't think smiley is that freaky!" he chuckled. "But you guys didn't need the radio for the entire Pentagram City to know what you were doing."

"Wait... What?" you asked, looking at him.

"We need to talk to Charlie... These walls are thinner than they should be..." Husk mumbled, an obvious smirk on his face.

"Fuck..." you said, hiding your face in your palms. "So y'all heard it?"

"Indeed." a voice echoed behind you. You quickly turned to see Lucifer looking at you, an annoyed look on his slightly blushed face. He held a radio in his arms or... what remained of one after he probably burned it. Just when you were about to apologise for Alastor's "revolutionary idea", he entered the room, humming, seemingly in a good mood.

"Woah! You two should fuck more often... He's less creepy than usual when ya do it." Angel said, a smirk on his face.

"Indeed, my effeminate fellow." Alastor chuckled. "(Y/n) and I really had a good time... A very good one," he said, eyeing Lucifer, a mischievous grin on his face. Suddenly, he turned to completely face him, raising an eyebrow.

"The fuck is it now?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh my friend, it's nothing really. Though, I must say, it seems you found our little performance… enthralling."

Your face got bright red as you noticed the tent in Lucifer's pants. "Ah, fuck it..." you mumbled as he got all flustered too, the only sound filling the room being Angel's hysterical laughter.

Alastor approached you, a proud smile on his face. "I think we need to make a point again, dear," he murmured, his voice laced with dark amusement, as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

Tags: @ratsematary @littlebluefishtail @xalygatorx @martinys-world @alastorthirsty @diffidentphantom @itsaubreyofcc @n0tmentallystable @lettuce-frog16

[bbtsficrecs]

BTS FIC RECS PART 4 Part 4 of some of my favourite BTS fanfics. Please do consider liking, reblogging and/or commenting on the fics you like. There are so many wonderful and amazing authors out there who do not get the recognition they deserve. So please send them lots of love to keep them going. If you're on here, then know I enjoyed every second of reading your story ♡ There will be two parts 4 as it's (sadly?) too long to be saved under one post. Stay tuned for part 5, joon recs will be added!

Please let me know if some of the links aren’t working. Happy reading!

⊹ Navi ‣ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.1 | Part 5 |

​⊹ Hell Is Empty - drabble Love triangle AU | a | @aquagustd​ ‣ An important phone call between Yoongi & OC.

⊹ You’re The Best I’ve Ever Had  Boyfriend Jungkook, Chubby reader | a, f, s | @adoredcore​​ ‣ Jungkook’s touches were so soft. So soft you almost barely even felt them. Keyword: almost. His smooth fingertips ran along your silky skin, while the tip of his pink tongue ran across the nape of your neck.

⊹ Fool Me Once Fuckboy AU | a, s | @jeonqkooks​​​ ‣ You never expect anything from Jungkook, but somehow he always manages to let you down.

⊹ Attitude CEO Jungkook au | s | @lushtans​​​ ‣ Your relationship with your CEO is... Rather complicated. Aside your professional relationship, he fucks you whenever he feels like it and as much as you hate to admit the truth, you love it. 

⊹ Don't Worry, Be Happy Daddy Jungkook AU, | f | @jvngkook97 ‣ "You guys have been trying to conceive for a little over a year now, but have yet to be fully successful."

⊹ Trap Idol Jungkook AU, | f | @jiminpitys ‣ In which you show up at your boyfriend's concert soundcheck as a surprise, and to your own, he’s wearing an outfit that’s bound to make you feel a certain way.

⊹ Addicted College AU, | f , s | @sparklingchim ‣ Your boyfie Jungkook fucking you silly.

⊹ B i g o l e f r e a k Friends with benefits AU | f , s | @joonberriess ‣ You’re both exclusive only to each other. Jungkook fucks the way he acts—crazy, hard. too bad you’re only here for the ride..

⊹ Foundation - Part 01, 02, 03 feat Yoongi Non-idol doctors AU | f , s, a | @hamsterclaw ‣ You know Jungkook is a fuckboy. So why are you letting him fuck with you? Featuring Yoongi.

⊹ Paint me naked Artist Jungkook AU | f , s, a | @gimmethatagustd ‣ After the mysteriously hot guy in your university class starts taking an interest in you, should you really trust that he’s not like all the other college fuckboys? Especially when his best friend is the guy who broke your heart?  

⊹ Why are you so late? Idol Jungkook AU | f , s | @kimnjss

‣ With such a packed scheduled, you’d think Jungkook would be on top of his game. But when a morning rolling around the sheets with you is thrown into the mix, it’s expected for him to want to take his time.

⊹ Our beloved summer - Series (on-going) Producer Jungkook AU | f, s, a | @jeonqkooks ‣ You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

⊹ Heaven can wait Chubby reader AU | f, s ish | @adoredcore ‣ "What’s a chance I’ll take baby I’ll stay heaven can wait."

⊹ Midnight cravings Established relationship AU | f | @hobiholic ‣ You want to go to the convenience store late at night to fulfill your midnight cravings but a sleepy Jungkook stops you.

⊹ Wet dreams Somnophilia AU | s | @kookiecrumb ‣ “I want you to use me…whenever you need me,”

⊹ Look at you -  Risqué drabble Risqué couple AU | s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Mirror shopping with your boyfriend turns into something else entirely.

⊹ In the middle of the night Friends with benefits AU | s, f | @joonsmoonluna ‣ It’s the middle of the night and Jungkook’s in need of you

⊹ Like I'm famous Idol Jungkook AU | s, f | @softyoongiionly ‣ It’s New Years Eve and Jungkook would rather be anywhere else than at his company’s massive party. Sure, he’s a guest of honor and his team rented out the nicest hotel in Seoul, but ringing in the New Year with you on the other side of the world just feels wrong. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to celebrate without the woman he loves, but maybe- just maybe…he won’t have to…

⊹ Strangers to lovers Established relationship AU | s | @kissmetae ‣ You’re a regular at the gym and today you decided to workout late. You thought you were alone, but it turned out there was one other person at the gym and you so happened to be his gym crush…

⊹ My dear friends Friends to lovers AU | s, f, a | @kooktrash ‣ Just friends? Keep telling yourself that, you and Jungkook have always danced on the line of friendship and something more but lately you’ve struggled being able to tell where you guys stand.

⊹ Red - Part 03 Pregnancy AU | s, f, a | @taestefully-in-luv ‣ You drunkenly sleep with your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Can’t be that bad right? Unless he gets you pregnant.

⊹ As we were - Series (on-going) Cheating/Infidelity AU | s, a | @archivedkookie ‣ Your husband cheats on you and find comfort in someone else’s arms. He claims he’s happy—but is he really?

⊹ Imagine Model Jungkook AU | s, f | @chryblossomjjk ‣ Jungkook wants nothing more than to spend your anniversary cuddled up in a fancy hotel bathroom, eating takeout and binge watching TV shows. You, on the other hand, have something more exciting in mind. 

⊹ Practice - part 02, 03 Fuckboy Jungkook AU | s, a | @chryblossomjjk ‣ You usually spend Friday nights on your own. Tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, Jungkook, decides to pay you a visit.

⊹ Lost Cause Cheating AU | a | @kooksbunnnn ‣ Jungkook comes back to you after his 10 day trip to Busan, and you sense something different about him. 

⊹ The Boy With Galaxies In His Eyes Idol AU | a, s, f | @oddinary4bts ‣ You had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?

⊹ Beyond Infinity - As We Were drabble As We Were Couple AU | a, s, f | @archivedkookie ‣ Jungkook does something you always dreamt about, and it ends up with the most beautiful night of your life.

⊹ What If I Love You Too Much Single Mom AU | a, s, f | @taleasnewastime ‣ Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself.

⊹ Services For A Queen Sub!JK AU | s | @taegonia ‣ Jungkook serves his queen in more ways than just as the royal head of security.

⊹ Cold Nights & Blurred Lines FWB & College AU | a, s, f | @awrkive ‣ Jungkook and you have been keeping a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. But as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. Is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? It definitely is. Will you do something about it? Both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

⊹ Strictly Platonic Bestfriends to Lovers & College AU | a, s, f | @jeonqkooks ‣ Sometimes, Jungkook can be a little selfish; and sometimes, the lengths you would go to for his happiness mean relinquishing your own.

⊹ In The Middle Of The Night FWB AU | s, f | @joonsmoonluna ‣  it’s the middle of the night and Jungkook’s in need of you ⊹ Perfectionist Dancer AU | s | @miraclesatnightfall ‣ "He watched you, with each sensual step you made his eyes darkened with explicit desire" ⊹ Tangle Free Establish Relationship AU | f | @here4btsfics ‣ Bad days lead to you needing your boyfriend for comfort, specifically by playing with his hair.

⊹ As It Was - Apart of Boy With Love Series (on-going) College AU | a | @ggukiepie ‣ You bump into Jungkook days after you find out he has a girlfriend; things don't go so well

⊹ The Habits Of A Broken Heart Soulmate & Unrequited love AU | a, f | @softykooky ‣ Jungkook and you are soulmates. So says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. However, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.  ⊹ Blackout - part 02, 03 Best friends to Lovers | s, a, f | @jjungxkook ‣ Utility bills shooting up like this should be an international crime. Luckily, Jungkook has the perfect idea(s) to save up money and make your night sinfully unforgettable.

⊹ Step Brother Step Siblings AU | s | @aris-ink ‣ Sub yn *innocently* dry humps her step brother jk while he plays video games.

⊹ Forbidden Romance Step Siblings AU | s | @aris-ink ‣ "It wasn’t unusual for your stepbrother to check up on you before bed. You’ve grown closer than you initially thought you would; it turned out that beneath the surface, you and Jungkook weren’t that different, after all."

⊹ My Perfect Patient Dentist Office AU | s, f | @pinkcherrybombs ‣ Jaw pain is just as much of a pain in the mouth as it is in the ass, but don't worry, your favorite dentist is sure to fix you right up, using some special methods.

⊹ Confessions - part 02 Office AU | a | @pinkcherrybombs ‣ Since we're about to die, I need you to know, I've always loved you, Jungkook.

⊹ Getting Railed Boyfriend Jungkook AU | s | @dearlytea ‣ Getting dicked by your boyfriend during a train ride.

⊹ Make You Mine College AU | a, s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Your first day at your new college is quite eventful to say the least. But everything seems slightly less chaotic when Jeon Jungkook offers to help you on your way – if only knowing him wasn’t an even bigger mess than the day you first met.

⊹ Catch 22 College AU | s, f | @alluremin ‣ You and your best friend had agreed: college was for a good time only, no serious relationships were necessary. Who knew that a frat boy would be the one to shake up that notion?

⊹ Tolerate It - part 02 Failing marriage! au | a | @lmaosope ‣ Marriage is difficult, and every married couple fights. but jungkook has been late one too many times and broken one too many promises. it has you wondering why you give everything for a man who simply tolerates you.

⊹ Make You Mine Jock Jk au | a , s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Your first day at your new college is quite eventful to say the least. But everything seems slightly less chaotic when Jeon Jungkook offers to help you on your way – if only knowing him wasn’t an even bigger mess than the day you first met.

⊹ His Throne - 01, 02, 03 Prince JK au | a, s, f | @jiminsa ‣ You, a maid for the royal family, have sex with the irresistible prince Jeon Jungkook on his throne.

[raythekiller]

I love the masky nsfw alphabet It riled up my imagination.. soo can i request for a hoodie one?? Thank youu

🗒꒰⸝⸝₊ NSFW ALPHABET ❛ ✧

Featuring: Hoodie/Brian

# Notes: its that time of the year again where i make 1 post and disappear for the next seven months <3 also DAYUM new post format?? (also also theres a new toby drawing on the way stay tuned)

A - AFTERCARE

Surprisingly soft. Wants to hold you close and maybe take a shower together. Don't get things twisted though - it's so he can keep feeling your body against his instead of to comfort you. Call it possessiveness or an ego stroke, maybe.

B - BODY PART

Thighs man through and through. Thigh highs drive him up-the-wall insane. Will also just absentmindedly knead them if you're sitting next to him, especially if you're wearing shorts or a skirt/dress.

C - CUM

Oh he likes it messy. Just enjoys having his cum on you in general - backshots, face, dripping from you after he came inside, you name it.

D - DIRTY SECRET

None. He has no shame and is very open about what he likes.

E - EXPERIENCE

Not as much as you might expect, given his demeanour. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lot, but he makes it seem like he worked as a pornstar for a few years with sheer cockiness.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

If you ask him, he'll say "all of them". But if you put a gun to his head and tell him to choose, he'll settle for doggy. Just loves grabbing your hips and ass while he's pounding into you.

G - GOOFY

He doesn't exactly make jokes, but his teasing might be a bit funny at times. He doesn't mind making things more silly or lighthearted as long as you still cum at the end of it.

H - HAIR

Usually clean-shaven, but he might get a bit lazy with it occasionally. Always at least well trimmed though.

I - INTIMACY

Usually adapts to what you like best. If you just want to get your brains fucked out and keep romance out of it, he'll happily do it. If you like something more tender with lots of "I love you"s, he doesn't complain about it either.

J - JACK OFF

A lot. This guy has crazy stamina (we'll talk about that later), I'd say maybe five times per week or so.

K - KINK

A lot but mainly: CORRUPTION!! I've said it before and I'll say it again he wants to bring the worst out of you. If you're a virgin, he wants go be your first. If you're not, he wants to see just how wild things can get when he pushes you a little.

L - LOCATION

Literally anywhere. He is a fan of semi-public sex, though. In the woods, living room of the manor when (you think) there's no one else home, in a busted alleyway, you name it.

M - MOTIVATION

Oh it's very easy to turn him on. Here's a huge one though: when you take iniciative. He's used to being the one starting shit. When YOU do it, though? When you make it clear you want him to wreck you? Fucking hot.

N - NO

Very short but obvious list: anything to do with piss, shit or vomit. Other than that, I think he's pretty open. Not even averse to being submissive every now and then.

O - ORAL

HELL YEAH BABY! Giving, receiving, whatever, he doesn't care. His mouth isn't just good for talking shit — he knows how to use that tongue. When he's getting head, though? He looks so pretty — head thrown back, moaning and whimpering with a grin on his face. Might buck his hips into your mouth for giggles (and because you sound hot choking on him).

P - PACE

Again, he'll go for whatever gets you off. If you like it rough and fast, he's in. If you prefer slow and sensual, that's also hot.

Q - QUICKIE

Biggest quickie fan in the manor. He just can't help himself most of the time and he doesn't really try to, either. If his horny, you best bet he knows how to get you horny as well and things just go from there.

R - RISK

Loves experimenting and finding new ways to make you moan. Doesn't mind getting a bit freakier every now and then.

S - STAMINA

Jesus christ what are they feeding this man. Y'know when guys are like "I'm gonna fuck you all night long" and stop after two rounds max? This motherfucker is serious about it.

T - TOYS

I don't think he'd go out of his way to buy them, but if you already have them you best believe he's using it to his advantage. Big fan of vibrators.

U - UNFAIR

This guy is MEAN. He doesn't make you wait for too long before fucking you but just those few minutes feel like an eternity with the atrocities he's whispering in your ear.

V - VOLUME

LOUD. He moans, groans, whines, whimpers, you name it. Not ashamed to make some noise and LOVES if you're loud as well.

W - WILD CARD

Likes having his hair pulled— WHO SAID THAT???

X - X-RAY

7.4 inches, cut. Not too thick, just the right girth.

Y - YEARNING

Can't go like, a week without having sex or at least jacking off. Homeboy has a lot of steam he needs to let out.

Z - ZZZ

Only god knows how he doesn't pass out immediately after. Chances are you'll fall asleep before him.

[chaepink]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Masterlist! ❤

❤ haikyuu !

hinata

- what a slut | ❝where Hinata suggests using a vibrator in public...❞

kageyama

- you're pretty when you cry | ❝you always thought kageyama would be a pretty crier, so why not put that theory to the test?❞

- studying session | ❝in need of tutoring, kageyama goes to you who oh so kindly agrees to help them. but there's a catch❞

- such a tease | ❝teasing kageyama is always fun, especially if it has something to do with him cockwarming you.❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

tsukishima |

yamaguchi |

bokuto |

kuroo

- good girls are bad girls (that haven't been caught) | ❝you have to tutor Kuroo, the school's infamous fuckboy, but the situation escalates into something else ❞

oikawa |

kenma

- embarrassing... | ❝kenma humps your thigh in the men's volleyball locker room—where anyone can hear❞

- jealousy, jealousy | ❝jealousy gets the best of you when you see Kenma being flirted on so you can't help it when it leads to some jealous sex...❞

ushijima |

atsumu

- pathetic | ❝you just can't help being mean to your pathetic, little, boyfriend❞

osamu |

d r a b b l e s / l o n g t h i r s t s : lev w/ a size kink // kageyama w/ touching in public // riding tsukishima // edging oikawa // yandere!kageyama // pegging bokuto // pegging atsumu // punishing kuroo // goshiki cumming untouched // fisting w/ kageyama // pampering midoriya after a bad day // sub!yan!oikawa who loves your praise // tsukishima cumming untouched // bratty nishinoya //

h e a d c a n n o n s :

- who loves to be marked?

❤ my hero academia !

midoriya

- impatient | ❝you're busy but midoriya is horny, so he takes matters into his own hands❞

- bite me, baby! | ❝midoriya gets his blood sucked by you, a vampire, and maybe enjoys it a little too much❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

- money, money, money | ❝you just love spoiling your sugar daddy❞

bakugou

- stripper!bakagou hcs

todoroki

- awoken | ❝whines and whimpers wake you up as you find out shoto has been humping your thigh in your sleep❞

kirishima |

kaminari

- shocking! | ❝where you use your boyfriend's quirk against him in a way he doesn't expect❞

- putting on a show | ❝you've been treating denki so well lately whether its buying all the luxury items he wants or taking him out to all the fancy restaurants around. so he thinks it's time for him to repay you back and what's better than having him put on a show for you wearing some sexy lingerie?❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

iida

- behind closed doors | ❝there's obvious sexual tension between you and your rival, iida, but no way you would fuck "mr. perfect" right?❞

- your own private show | ❝you catch iida masturbating and he puts on a show for you❞

d r a b b l e s / l o n g t h i r s t s : werewolf!reader in rut (midoriya) // naga!reader using their tail to choke (kaminari) // naga!reader w/ size kink (midoriya) // iida secretly masturbating // iida w/ werewolf!reader // pussydrunk!izuku // izuku w/ rimming // riding bakugo // overstimulating todoroki // bratty!bakugo // masochist!iida //

h e a d c a n n o n s :

- who loves to be marked?

❤ chainsaw man !

denji

- bark for me | ❝denji just loves it when you treat him like a dog and tug on his leash.❞

aki

- clouded with lust | ❝aki finds himself in the hands of the lust devil who takes an interest in him.❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

d r a b b l e s / l o n g t h i r s t s : denji w/ lust devil // aki w/ lust devil // fucking aki on the kitchen counter //

h e a d c a n n o n s :

❤ demon slayer !

tanjiro

- 7 minutes in hell | ❝tanjiro is just so innocent and adorable that you can't help be mean to him when the two of you are paired up for 7 minutes in heaven.❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

zenitsu

- open your mouth, pretty boy | ❝who knew that the nerd in your english class would be a virgin and that they would be so fun to corrupt?❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

rengoku |

d r a b b l e s / l o n g t h i r s t s : whiny!zenitsu w/ breeding kink //

h e a d c a n n o n s :

❤ jujutsu kaisen !

itadori

- challenged accepted | ❝you've given your boyfriend a challenge: go through the day with a vibrator in him. he's sure he'll complete it with ease but he realizes it may not be as easy as he thought.❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

megumi |

gojo

- such a flirt | ❝gojo is such a flirt and sometimes he gets too close to other people to rile you up. lucky for him, it works every time.❞

- heat it up! | ❝gojo loves being a brat and by the amount of times he has been one, he's gotten use to your punishments. so you decided to try something new on him.❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

- my kind of present | ❝Gojo surprises you for Christmas with a present: him.❞

geto

- down the chimney! | ❝in which chimmy is the euphemism for geto's throat as you're face fucking him.❞

sukuna

- king of curses? ha! | ❝sukuna is the king of curses! he's supposed to be strong, in control. so how did he end up kneeling before you, a mere human?❞

toji

- cat's got your tongue? | ❝toji tries to dominate you and his plan backfires.❞

nanami

- a househusband's duty | ❝after coming home from a hard day at work, your househusband surprises you by wearing a maid outfit. though he's annoyed that you're late so how about you bend him over the kitchen counter and eat him out to make up for it?❞ 𓆩♡𓆪 kinktober

d r a b b l e s / l o n g t h i r s t s : gojo w/ a vibrator in public // punishing gojo w/ overstimulation //geto being a good boy for you // overstimulated gojo // megumi w/ feminization // pussydrunk!geto // brat!gojo & good boy!geto // fucking geto over gojo // brat!sukuna // soft sex w/ nanami // overstimulating gojo //

h e a d c a n n o n s :

❤ miscellaneous !

- smile for the camera! ♡

- give a twirl!

- submissive good boys

- bratty disobedient subs

- adorable puppy boys

- overworked pillow princes

- on the naughty list! ♡

- turning pretty boys to mush

- naughty boys w/ a scent kink

More animes tba?...

[dax-enfinity]

hello my friend

i came across your hot takes regarding a certain ship involving the ghost boi nico di angelo which shocked me

because I AGREE.

literally everyone keeps kissing the feet of solangelo is so fucking annoying FUCK SOLANGELO!!!

THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING !!!!

THANK YOU ANON !!!!

I swear, the PJO/HOO fandom has a HUGE problem with a lot of people not accepting the fact that people like to ship non-canon ships!

Those people can’t understand that people have been shipping Nico with other people for MORE than a DECADE

And no, Rick Riordan is NOT the king of diversity just because “S/o/l/a/n/g/e/l/o is canon!” The ship is bland it SUCKS honestly I’m not gonna deny it

Plus the ship has no development whatsoever because what do you mean Nico started dating this random Apollo kid 8 months after Blood Of Olympus and suddenly by Trials Of Apollo he’s magically comfortable dating this random guy

Did Riordan and the fandom forget the fact that Nico was FORCED to come out and admit his crush on Percy in front of Jason back in House Of Hades…??

What the hell happened during those 8 months that made Nico so comfortable being openly out at camp, not to mention 99% of the camp is scared of him due to being a Hades kid!

Those shippers make Nico out to be some “uwu soft gay boi who can’t be protected and needs Will’s help when he gets hurt!!”

He’s the son of HADES

HE WAS IN TARTARUS

And Will before his random appearance at the END of Blood Of Olympus got MENTIONED 5 times AT BEST

S/o/l/a/n/g/e/l/o shippers then act like shipping Nico with either Percy or Jason is bad because it’s apparently “incest” and the three of them are “sibling coded” when Nico had a CRUSH ON PERCY SINCE HE WAS 10

Make it make sense, c’mon now!

[cokou]

𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝

tw. uh, smut?. MDNI. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n. SO IF I'M GONNA WRITE FOR PENG, I GOTTA WRITE FOR HIM TOO. // Don't translate or transfer my works, will not be cross posted anywhere! This is my only account. Masterlist

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

—decided that wiping you down is a great idea after sex, wiping off the dripping cum and your sweat off of you would definitely be his aftercare.

B = Body Part (Their favorite part of theirs and also their partner's)

—His favorite part of his s/o's body would be their tits, simply because he could spend eternity of his time buried in them or squeezing them as much like stress balls. It doesn't matter how big or small it is, he'll praise you no matter what.

—His favorite part of his body would be his arms and fingers, absolutely loves fingering you to get your reaction as he watches you contain yourself. Takes pride of the tattoos on his arm as well, love it when you trail your lips all over it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

—His cum would be shaded as #EADEDE, it's thick and salty due to his unusual diet. A fan of finishing inside you, loves seeing his cum drip out of your entrance.

D = Dirty Secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

—He steals your panties and masturbates with it on his mouth or dragging it with his dick, cumming on the fabric and tossing it on his laundry to wash it and quietly put it back in your closet in the middle of the night.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

—A shit ton of experience, you had no idea how he knew all the things that needed to be done to pleasure a woman, he'd have you orgasm just by using his fingers.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

—Missionary, absolutely loves seeing all your fucked out reactions on your face.

—Mating Press, to reach deeper inside you and make you squirm even more.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humourous etc.?)

—He smiles and grins at you a lot and doesn't really talk, all conversations shared in bed are either reassuring if everything is okay with whatever he was doing. Overall, he only grins at whatever is happening, he clearly enjoys it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

—It's messy down there with clear sights of razor cuts, it's slightly darker than his hair being #91563A, trims it once a month.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

—Absolutely fucking wild as hell, he'd hammer you on the bed frame until the bed breaks and he won't even care if it does, he's rough as well but on the romantic aspect, he slows down once in a while do let you breath properly.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcannon)

—Yes, he jerks of almost everywhere, on a mission? hell yes. Brings his horniness everywhere even during duties or meetings with Law, he can't stop pumping his dick out of his pants.

K = Kinks (one or more of there kinks)

—Rough Sex, totally dominates you in bed with your legs thrown over his shoulders.

—Cum inflation, loves filling all your holes if he could, he doesn't mind having to cum anywhere as long as it's inside you. A yes when it comes to inside your cunt.

—Threesome, a threesome with Penguin would always be a go for him, however he'd ask you first if it was totally fine for you to bring him into the bedroom with you two.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

—Dare I say on the meeting room, sitting besides each other will never be a crime, except he snakes his hands on your thighs and eventually leads into him fingering you on your chair while Law discusses what to do for the next mission he assigns everyone, completely dumbfounded, you even attracted some crewmates with the faces you were doing and asking if you were okay.

—The classical bedroom of course, above all places it's where sex should take over.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, keeps them going)

—If you think about it on a much Modern Setting, watching porn would boost his sex drive so much, practically watching whenever you're out of reach motivates him so, so much.

—Using toys on you, he regularly thinks of which or what toys you would enjoy in bed.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn off's)

—anything that involves bodily fluids such as piss or shit.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

—In between, but prefers giving oral to you. Is in the idea of cunnilingus and loves eating you out. It mostly happens as a foreplay to make you're all ready for when the main action begins. Hell his experience makes it unbelievable.

—Although if you utterly insist of giving him a blow job he'd never say no, he grabs a handful of your hair and sees how much of him you can take, would push you deeper to make you gag on him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Or slow and sensual?)

—Fast and rough almost all the time, he doesn't have a particular reason on why he enjoys it. But seeing as you enjoyed it as much as he did, then he had no problem having it that way. But occasionally, whenever you two catch up on an argument he slows down and beats you through it making you beg for him to go faster and it boosts his ego.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often)

—While it does happen, it's only rare. Being it whenever you two are extremely busy or going on a mission that serves days, but it does happen, not all the time but still does.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks)

—Yes, yes, yes. The amount of times you two were almost caught by EVERYONE is unimaginable, having you fucked on the meeting room or the engine room, it never ever went straight to the bedroom. Going inside of his best friend, Penguins bed room and fucking you there while he was out of his room.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

—He can keep his Stamina long enough for 4 rounds, but likes the idea of overstimulation, so if his s/o reluctantly agrees, they'll continue jerking him off or riding him till he basically cums nothing. About 7 rounds if you ask me.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On their partner or theirself?)

—He owns a lot of varieties, a dildo, paddles, vibrators, and even those remote controlled vibrators. Uses them 100% on their partners when they agree, sticks the remote controlled ones on your clit while on public and seeing how much you can handle.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

—Teasing isn't really his forte, it rarely ever happens, usually you're the one to initiate teasing on him but however it doesn't really happen, he's game to flirting though.

V = Volume (how loud are they, what sounds they make)

—He moans lowly and pants, he isn't that loud but it can be heard half way through the room. He tries his best to conceal it but terribly fails and it shows.

W = Wildcard (A random headcannon for the character)

—Shares everything you guys do to Penguin, he brags about the tiniest thing you both shared to his best friend, mostly to make him jealous that he got you first than him. He doesn't stop within detailed in bed, he details it so well that (maybe) it started feeling like Penguin knows just as much as Shachi does.

X = X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)

—It's messy with razor cuts down near to his abdomen, it curves downwards, slightly darker than his skin tone #D3BDA3, tip is #D29A89, trimmed once a month, 7.54 in and girth is 3.76, fluid #EADEDE flavor is salty and it takes over your tongue.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

—Extremely high, is always on the go. He is always the first one to initiate having to do it with you.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

—Always the first one to be knocked out asleep, he's tired after all. He snores lightly with his arm on his face covering his eyes when he drifts off to sleep.

©Cokou 2024, all works belong to me.

[denaliwrites]

f i c m a s t e r l i s t

p o l i c i e s (please read before making requests!)

b a d s a m a r i t a n The Best of You, Honey, Belongs to Me Blackthorn Cover Myself in the Ashes of You Dumb Ways To Die Enough of You to Dull the Pain (18+) Hellbent Looking For A Godsend Hit Me With Your Best Shot I Got This Feeling On A Summer Day (18+) I'm Gooey in the Middle Baby Let Me Bake In His Eyes A Flaming Glow Intrigued and Afraid Keep You Like An Oath (18+) Killing Me Softly My Baby Shot Me Down (18+) Not Much Between Despair and Ecstasy (18+) Only Touch That Gets Me Melting (18+) Run Rabbit Run (18+) Say My Name Send a Thousand Kings Away Shia Surprise Something Good to Celebrate Stop, Look and Listen, It's Halloween! Taste of a Poison Paradise Trust in Me, Just in Me With Your Scars and Your Lonely Heart Your Body's a Secret Girl and You're About to Spill It (18+)

t h e b o y s Watch That Butcher Burn

b r o a d c h u r c h Always Leave Me With a Hungry Heart Am I Doing This Right? An Art to Life's Distractions Beating Like A Kick Drum Girls Like Girls Like Boys Do It's Been a Long, Long Time Love's Perfect Ache Now and Again We Try to Just Stay Alive Regale You With A Gourd-geous Tale Say You'll Remember Me Say You'll Remember Me (Denali's Version) Tell Me It's A Nightmare What My Heart Was Worth

d o c t o r w h o Cuddle, Meet Puddle Cute Things Don't Blink (Part 1) Don't Turn Your Back (Part 2) Don't Look Away (Part 3) Dreams See Us Through (Part 4) Hate the Feeling of Falling Have a Holly Jolly Christmas Horrible Things Isn't That Wizard It's How I'm Made Let Me Come Home Little Creepy House Love Letters On the Brave Shit The Origin of (Love Bug) Species What Beautiful Things I'll Wear When the Crypt Doors Creak You Know That I Would Jump Too

d u c k t a l e s Tales of Daring

g o o d o m e n s All I Want For Christmas Aziraphale's Favorite Author Dance on a Tightrope of Weird Free as My Hair His Love is All in Me How the Wine Plays Tricks on My Tongue Lockdown Blues Making Biscuits My Heart's a Stereo Naked in That Garden (18+) Out There Making DuckTales Pickin' Up the Pieces of the Mess You Made Road to Hell Something Meaty For The Main Course Step Too Far Tongue Tied Your Love is Holy (18+)

f a l l o f t h e h o u s e o f u s h e r Tomorrow I Shall Be Fetterless (18+)

f r i g h t n i g h t Emptiness to Melody Everybody Scream in Our Town of Halloween Fixed Up to the Nines Howl Like an Animal in the Darkness I'm So Hot I'd Fuck Myself (18+) I'm Starvin', Darlin', Let Me Put My Lips to Somethin' Late Night Devil Put Your Hands On Me (18+) Make Me Glow Night of Long Fangs (18+) Parade of Dancing Skeletons Talk So Pretty (18+) Who Are You Supposed To Be, Criss Angel? (18+)

h a u n t i n g o f b l y m a n o r ???

j u r a s s i c p a r k / w o r l d Best Behavior The Future Ex Mrs. Malcolm

p r o d i g a l s o n But Then My Stupid Phone Beeps Never Fallen From Quite This High Office Supplies Rude Boy They are the Hunters, We are the Foxes Trigger Happy With a Sense of Poise (18+)

s l o w h o r s e s Imposing Figure

[slashingdisneypasta]

Chucky Lee Ray x Reader || Drabble

Plot: When you come home from a really terrible date who definitely expects to be invited in, you do something Kinda Sneaky... and say you live with your brother and, oops! You forgot your key!!- and knock on the apartment next to yours, acting like this one is yours. Chucky's apartment.

Warnings: N/A.

Knock knock. No answer.

Knock knock knock. No answer.

Humming nervously, because why the hell why isn't he answering?? Please be home, Chucky, p l e a s e- "He must have his headphones on, the dumbass." You throw back to your date, Hank, rolling your eyes like 'brothers, huh?'.

"Hey, if you cant get it, you can always come back to my place?"

"Oh thats nice of you- " Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock-

"Bro!" You exclaim in a loud, totally-fake greeting as soon as the door flies open and reveals Charles Lee Ray, looking as if you just woke him up, his hair in his dark eyes and a beer-stained, moth-eaten white t-shirt on that completely washes him out and makes him look like Samara Morgan (Sweet jesus, if you weren't so desperate to get away from Hank, you would be terrified of this nightmare look). His face twists into grumpy, tired confusion but before he can ask you what the hell you're talking about- you slip your arms around his waist and squeeze him in a hug. "Play along." Dear god, play along.

When you pull back, a hostage-smile pasted to your face standing there with Hank behind you looking bored and annoyed (And wearing a stained t-shirt of his own- under a date blazer), the cranky frown on his face upturns into a smirk. Oh~

You hope to god thats a good smirk and your annoying neighbour is not about to screw you.

Its not like Hank is dangerous, or t h r e a t e n i n g, at all- no. He's fine. But after 4 hours of talking about his fucking car, and The Big Bang Theory (How funny Howard Walowitz is in the first seasons and how misunderstood he is with women- jesus), and meeting his mother at the start-- you are DONE!!

DONE!! FINISHED!

You're up to hear with him and Chucky, as annoying and rude as he is, suddenly feels like a great alternative! At least if you went out with him tonight, you might've gotten a good buzz out of it. Hank took you to a Chuck E Cheese, and he didn't bring a flask.

When Chucky leans against the door and makes room for you to slip by, smirking dangerously at your date, you happily go into his apartment. You never wanted to get in there so bad, before. You never wanted to go in there, period, before today. But now it feels like sanctuary. "So... you're the guy that took out Y/N tonight."

Oh no- he's still talking. Why on earth is Chucky still talking-

"-Yeah thats him!" You cut in, before flashing Hank a bright smile and a waive. "I had a great time- bye Hank!" Please go. Please go. Please go now-

Before your date can leave and you can never see him again, Chucky stops him- and when you glance at his face, you can see an even broader, more mischievous smirk on him. Oh no. "Hold on there, man, wait. I gotta make sure you're alright, don't I??"

"No, bro, you don't." You say pointedly, making Chucky turn that nefarious, lascivious grin onto you for a moment.

"Hehe... I think I do."

Through grit teeth, you beseech him. "Fight the urge." Or, well- beg him. You're begging. You're absolutely begging.

Because wherever Chucky is going to take this, is not going to be good, especially with that evil twinkle in his pale blue eyes. "What kinda brother would I be if I didn't check him?"

"The best brother in the world."

"Ahhhhh... you're just sayin' that. Hey Hank- " When you both turn back to the hallway and see that Hank is, actually, gone-- you're equally baffled and relieved. Thank god, but... when did he leave??? Chucky, on the other hand, pouts. "Damn. ... Maybe he wasn't that into you."

While rolling your eyes, you catch sight of a black object plainly sticking out of Chucky's pyjama pants. "Or maybe he saw the gun tucked into your pants! Is that loaded!??"

"... no."

"No!??" That did not sound definitive!!

"Well yeah, of course it is. But here's the thing, doll. Guess what?" You're about to ask a put-out and huffy 'what?', when Chucky pulls the door to his apartment abruptly closed; standing far too close to you and looking at you in that lecherous Chucky-way that makes you feel so small and squirrelly. Wait- "Look at that?~ You're all mine, all of a sudden~ Hehe,"

As you stand there, half scared/half... something else, you wonder dumbly how and when did you lose control of this situation-

[honeyydrunk]

niragi suguru a-z don't judge me for this sakurada dori was hawt as hell in that role

a: aftercare oh be SO real rn. 🧍

b: body bro has 3 good qualities and his body is one of them. but aside from everything let's talk about the main attraction, that damn mf absolutely ridiculously crazy tongue piercing of his. man i wanted to JUMP through the screen for that. it had me blushing and shi

c: cum hm. well he just nuts all up in your guts. consequences are not something he's thought about. but this is the borderlands what's going to happen be fr. you'll probably die before anything bad occurs from the raw nut.

d: dirty secrets  he has no secrets and everything about him is dirty.

e: experience before the borderland? nothing now? everything

f: favourite position it's a tie between you tied up and like 'at his mercy' or whatever that means, and you riding him. actually he likes anything. bros a freak. a high stamina constantly horny ahh freak.

g: goofy that all depends on if you consider him insulting you 'goofy'. it also depends on whether you considered him goofy in the show, because that's exactly how he is in bed. ngl i thought he was kinda goofy, so this one is all up to personal interpretation.

h: hair untamed and unruly bush of hair. (before the borderlands he actually did trim it)

i: intimacy  do you consider him eating you out with a tongue piercing intimate? because BE FOR REAL 🧍

j: jacking off why jack off when he can just fuck you.

k: kinks everything (sort of) licking, biting, cnc, hair pulling, just plain raw animalistic fucking going at it like crazy people. how can i explain extreme desperation and looking like you're attacking each other during sex as a kink?

l: location anywhere everywhere. though he prefers semi public sex as a way of kind of getting adrenaline and showing off. surprisingly, he wouldn't fully fuck you publicly, but totally kissing fingering cockwarming, that kind of stuff in like broad daylight. funnily enough, he doesn't actually like fully private sex anything. it feels too intimate and we can't have that.

m: motivation  everything. if he sees you, he'll try and pull you to a hallway. bros ALWAYS motivated.

n: no no no  him bottoming is an absolute no for him. he will not put himself at the liberty of another person. that or you trying anything he didn't ask you to. basically he wants to feel power, so anything that doesn't give him that feeling is a no.

o: oral oh he loves oral. you crying on his dick is like crazy hot to him. and you'll love oral too LIKE ngl i want that tongue piercing in me or whatever like my imagination is getting so crazy i can actually visualise him eating me out like lowkey can even feel it.

p: pace fast fast fast crazy fast extremely fast no breath no breaks no air constantly going at it you need ridiculous stamina for this crazy attacking sex

q: quick fucks one of his favourite games is you fucking during the games. that's a real time limit isn't it. i just thought of something HORRID ngl. imagine he makes you wait until your visa ends you're outside the game arena and bro says make me cum before the game registration ends or uh you'll die.

r: risk take a wild guess. what do you think? this is niragi suguru. be for real. what do you THINK.

s: stamina crazy high. hope you were one of those cardio pilates people before borderlanding otherwise you might be fainting on him. (actually i think bros realistically isn't high at all i just want it to be)

t: toys bro we're in the borderlands tf is there  (i consider that tongue piercing of his a toy)

u: unfair unfair boy oh god he's horrible. this is NIRAGI. brother isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows he is going to be in it for himself and him only. sorry babygirls he is going to be the most unfair person in bed you'll ever be with

v: volume surprisingly very normal in volume.

w: wild card he IS wild. what else is there? (he likes you wanting him and taking him, but this is only in VERY specific moods. otherwise he'll just kill you for being an annoying slut or whatever)

x ray: slightly above average in length, massive in width.

y: yearning  all the time.

z: zzzzzzzz he never sleeps with someone else in the room. and when he sleeps, it's holding a loaded automatic.

if he gets bored, you're annoying, or he realises he's falling for you, you're getting shot with that mf rifle of his. sorry 😔 for that guys. can't win in this society. i'm praying you live fr because now you got not only the borderlands that is a death wish (i wanna kiss him so bad when he got his face burnt off bros hotter like that. that's not a pun btw)

[aesthetixhoe]

steve harrington nsfw alphabet — S.H.

warnings: sex, switch steve

word count: ---

pronouns used: none, but afab reader

actors note: im working on requests right now, i swear! this is something i found in my google docs that i had zero recollection of writing, so know i am putting my time into requests!!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Sex with Steve is rarely ever rough. When he is dominate he is very soft. On most occasions at least... Aftercare always consists of cuddling, lots of hair playing, and sometimes falling asleep to soft music or the static noise of the tv.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

For himself... It's obvious. Steve "The hair" Harrington... Those luscious locks. Duh.

For you, probably your hands. He likes how small they are in comparison to his and teases you about it all the time.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He's pretty vanilla when it comes to cum; when it's protected he loves coming inside you, when it's not, he ops to pull out and have you finish him of with your mouth or your hand. Let the chips fall where they may. Or the cum rather...

D = Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

He LOVES likes to be submissive. This man is a switch and it may have to do with the neglect from his parents, but he both wants to be in control and taken control of. #mommyanddaddyissues

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Very. He has very mixed opinions on whether he likes that he's experienced. He likes that he knows a lot to please you and make you have the most pleasure as possible, which he is very good at mind you, but he also feels regret for having so many sexual interactions, especially because most of them were strictly sexual.

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

He loves doggy. The shape your body makes when he's fucking you from behind is an image that stays in his head constantly. Although his favorite has to be cowgirl. He gets all the best parts in his mind: he can be submissive or dominate, he have a clear view of your body, but most importantly, he can see your face as he fucks you into oblivion.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Steve is a very goofy person, it's hard to have sex with out some giggles with him, not that you're against it. He takes it more serious if you're having rougher sex or quicker sex, but if he has time and sweet sex he often makes you giggle.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn't take as much pride in his pubes as he does his hair, but he's pretty well groomed, either trimmed short, or clean shaven.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's very romantic. No matter the mood, if it's rough sex he'll remind you or how much he loves you throughout, and even if it's soft giggly sex out of the blue he'll have a point of seriousness where he looks deeply into your eyes and confesses his love for you.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

During high school it was more often when he would jack off, but now that he's with you he doesn't have a need to unless your work schedules clash and he can't see you for over a week, which barley happens.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hair

pulling.

He LOVES having his hair pulled. There's a reason he grows it out to that length, it's so your fingers can perfectly clasp onto the strands.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He really likes car sex. If you two are having a quickie before work or something he really likes car sex. His favorite would have to be the bed though, there's no beating it, it's a classic. He can have any mood and pace in the bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You doing anything with his hair, any tank top, shorts, summer is hell for him considering that's what your wardrobe consists of during the hot months.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No scoops ahoy uniform sex. He hates the hate.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He relishes in his ability to give you head, the look on your face while he does it, the look on your face after when you see him with messy hair and liquid all over his chin. He's super good considering he doesn't have a lot of experience in that field.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough or slow and sensual? etc.)

When he's rough or you're having a quick session his pace is faster, but if he has time or it fits the mood he goes slow and deep.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves em. Quickie in the morning after you wake up? Yup. Before your shift at work? Mhm. During his lunch break at scoops? Yes sir. Normally he only have one about once a week, but he's open to doing it really as often as you want it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Yes! He was extremely vanilla and only did missionary for a while, but that was due to his sexual encounters being fast and more for his pleasure, now it's an even split, and he wants to do whatever you want to try. Scoops ahoy! hat aside...

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He's good for about 2 rounds if you really want it. Normally one round lasts about 30 minutes with him pacing himself to give you as much pleasure as possible.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

He owns none, you own none, toys just aren't in the picture. He wouldn't be against using one persay, it just hasn't come up yet.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Love love love love loves it! If your wearing anything that shows off your legs he'll run his hand up and down your thigh, giving a firm squeeze before going off and doing something else. In high school he was wayyy worse about teasing, but if you have the time and he's more dominate, he loves teasing you.

He also really likes being teased by you when you're in charge, he can't explain it, but the look on your face when you know you're getting to him with teasing gets to him even more.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's pretty average, no howling or anything but he makes some grunts and small moans, he's really more focused on the noises you're making.

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)

Switch, as explained earlier.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We see him without a shirt in season 2 and season 4 and those are great representations of his body during those times. In high school he was just a little bit more fit, no chest hair and more defined muscles. After graduation, his body didn't change too much other than a little bit of muscle loss and chest hair. While being king Steve he didn't get girls left and right because he had a small dick, he's got a pretty good 7 inches, but it's more what he can do with it that makes it the best you've ever felt.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

About average, when all the upside down stuff got more involved with his life, his sex drive obviously dipped considering the circumstances with the world and everything, but it's pretty standard.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It depends on how much time you have after. If you're staying over he'll fall asleep only after you do, wanting you to be the most comfortable you can be (a true gentleman) but if one of you have to leave after he only gets a little drowsy. He only gives into sleep if he's able to.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

So I'm actively watching Supernatural and I can't stop thinking about the boys as hunters.

Roman and Remus are like Sam and Dean, brothers and incredibly stupid for each other. Going to Hell, coming back, punching the Devil in the face because why not. They may not have the best lifestyle but they have each other and really, what else do you need? They handle.. everything. Someone give them a nice hunt. Please.

Virgil got into the life accidentally but fully protected himself as quick as possible. I'm talking tattoos of every protective symbol and phrase that you can think of and he knows plenty of them. He doesn't keep many people close and he has the most run-ins with demons.

Logan didn't believe in monsters at first but he had a Bobby incident happen and lost someone close to him. That's what made him get as practical as he could with his defense and his offense. He deals the most often with ghosts and spirits and he's perfectly comfortable with that.

Patton is the type of hunter where you look at him and think he's completely normal, but then you show up expecting him to be useless and he's the most badass person you've ever met. He's the vampire hunter because of course he ends up being one. He's the cheery "what a nice hunt! Who wants some dinner?" guy. I love him.

Janus tracks down more unusual creatures, got into it because it was a family business. He speaks a whole cacophony of different languages and will not hesitate to start speaking German in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't like the person he's talking to. He

They all as a group culminate in a badass "oh my god stop almost dying" "STOP TRYING TO SUMMON THE DEVIL" "can we have one nice day" "thanks for the tip" group ever. And I don't even think they hunt together. I think they're all in different states, occasionally travelling, and then they call each other for tips. Every once in a while, they send out a "might need help with this one" text and everyone shows up because you can't let a hunter go alone like that.

Dukexiety, Logince, and Moceit are my thoughts here. Remus and Virgil have a weird amount of demon knowledge between the two of them and they use it, Logan and Roman are definitely in love but refuse to admit it and it's "just casual" (it's not), Janus and Patton are basically married.

— 👑

D E V O U R I N G this I fucking L O V E this S O fucking much oml P E A S E!!! I seriously adore all of their roles they D E S E R V E to be a badass team!!! Also I'm cackling at the thought of part of the group being surrounded by supernatural creatures and one of them sends a text to a groupchat and not even 3 seconds later a van pulls up with everyone else XD

[mistysimpingandspam]

dwayne (the lost boys) NSFW alphabet

minors DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the ceo of aftercare. dwayne is already such a selfless lover, you bet he’s selfless as hell with aftercare. it doesn’t matter whether you’ve turned or not, dwayne treats you like royalty. he’ll fetch whatever you desire, cuddle with you, rub your back or feet, talk with you, kiss sore spots, read to you, and just overall pamper you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

dwayne adores the curve of your hips. his hands seem to always be on them when in public, and he gets much more grabby in private.

with a body like his, dwayne is really proud of his chest and abs. i mean, he’s a toned, good looking guy who’s shirtless 24/7, how can he not be confident about his physique?

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i read a headcanon somewhere that male vampires become infertile when they turn, so this means that dwayne’s breeding kink comes out majorly. sure, he can’t get you pregnant, but he’ll still use you as an absolute cum dumpster. he loves the idea of filling you up and making you his.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

dwayne likes the aftercare almost more than the sex itself. he just loves taking care of his significant other and adores you when you’re all subby and out of it as he cleans you up

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

just like david, dwayne has had many years of experience. looking the way he does for hundreds of years is definitely an advantage for picking up girls.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

mating press. dwayne loves folding his s/o in half as he pounds them, all while looking deep into their eyes. he gets off on the faces you make, so he likes to keep closer to your face so he can watch. he loves making his s/o feel smaller than him by folding them so easily. if you aren’t as flexible, missionary is fun for him too. when he’s feeling more primal, he’ll take you from behind.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’ll roll his eyes playfully at your jokes, but that’s it. he isn’t much of a talker during sex other than praise, so you won’t really hear anything from him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

carpet matches the drapes, and he keeps it neat and trimmed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

one of the most intimate partners you can have. always caressing you, looking deep into your eyes, whispering sweet things to you and calling you a good girl.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

dwayne has enough control to not have to get off daily, so i’d say twice or three times a week. he has a high libido, but when he’s horny, he’ll just go to you, so what’s the point of jacking off?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding kink and primal play (see my primal headcanons here. i go much more into detail with these).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

dwayne loves the comfort of his room (i headcanon the boys having rooms from the collapsed hotel). he isn’t big on public sex. he also likes your room and the couch in the cave.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he gets turned on by you in lingerie. simple as that. he loves seeing you decked out in lace or leather or silk.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything involving pain. dwayne much prefers to torture you with pleasure (ie overstimulation or edging), he hates the idea of spanking you too hard or pulling your hair with too much force.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

this man eats cooter y’all. and boy is he fucking good at it. he loves when you sit on his face so he can look up at you from below with those piercing eyes of his. he can and will go down on you for hours, and he won’t stop until you’re practically begging him.

dwayne doesn’t usually expect head in return, but if you like giving it, he won’t turn it down. he’s huge, so he lets you be in control of how much you take in his mouth and how fast your pace is. if you want him to fuck your face, you’re asking for a bruised throat, especially if you ask him to be rough.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

dwayne’s usual pace definitely sensual and medium speed; not too slow but not too much. he’ll slow down to have you feel all of him at once just so he can watch your eyes roll back.

when in a primal headspace, buckle up. he is relentless. quick brutal snaps of his hips from behind while his fingernails dig into your back and he growls into your ear. he likes grabbing you by the hips and just shaking you on his dick until you’re practically crying.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

nope. not a quickie fan. he likes to take his time to really please and worship you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

if you want him to be rougher, you’ll have to tell him yourself. he’ll want to sit you down and discuss primal play and how far he can go with it and how rough he can be during sex.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

as i mentioned in my primal headcanons, this man lasts a while, so you better prepare yourself. there are some occasions where he can go for an hour and not cum.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn’t mind if you use them on yourself. he actually likes to watch you use them on yourself and make teasing comments that make you blush.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he isn’t much of a tease, but if he’s edging you, he can go a while before letting you cum. he’ll get you to the edge like five times and still tut and go “sorry princess, not this time” as he slows down his fingers or cock.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

dwayne is a praise man. he loves seeing your face go bright from the things he says, so he talks a good amount. besides that, he’s pretty much silent; he might let out a grunt when he cums but that’s pretty much it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

dwayne goes crazy when you leave hickies on his chest. he already walks around shirtless, so why not show off what he and you get up to?

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

hung.

point blank.

i’m talking 8-8.5 inches, and thick. curves upward with a thick vein on the underside.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he has a pretty high libido, but he keeps it in check. (paul could take a few notes).

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

nope. not until you’re taken care of. it doesn’t matter how exhausted he is, you are his top priority. he’ll eventually nod off once you fall asleep.

[moldy-cheese-being]

Comic centric scollace prompt im thinking about writing soon (but its worded weird bc its unpolished brain to post style lol)

/under the cut bc PHEW its longer than the movie/

Just kinda, like, friends to lovers where Wallace helps scott thru autistic meltdowns, and scott is like "wow wallace is so nice to me about my meltdowns. Like, he doesn't get mad at me or make fun of me he just helps. And hes really good at helping too... Huh, he actually does more than any of my exes ever did... Hm... Whatever, its just bc I've known him for so long and we're like, best bros" but then he starts developing ✨f e e l i n g s✨ and since hes our beloved fucking idiot, he literally has no clue whats happening 💀 and he starts wanting wallace to hold him ALL the time, instead of just during meltdowns or when he (this 'he' honestly means both of them) knows one is about to happen. And starts acting weird, and feeling EXTREMELY embarrassed during meltdowns. And eventually he's just kinda cuddling with wallace after a meltdown, and scott looks up at him and has the "oh fuck. Oh no no no" moment (you know the one. We've all done it at least once) and goes to stephen and is like "HEYY STEPHEN, MY DEAREST PAL! My only other gay friend- how uh- how did you know you were gay?? And that you liked jospeh??? " and stephen (ofc) laughs at him and is like "omg who is he? Whos the guy that turned scott 'straightest dude out there' Pilgrim gay?" And scott just like looks down and Stephens like "WAI- NO- NO??? NO WAY?!??!?" and then actually helps and scotts like "well fuck what the hell do i do" and then manages to avoid wallace for like a week until, low and behold, another meltdown where wallace has to calm him down. And wallace takes his chance to ask wtf is going on w scott, and scott just starts crying again and is like "no i can't tell you you'll hate me and you're my best friend and my roommate and i can't ruin this" and wallace is like "dude wtf are you talking about??" So scott does the dramatic ass "I LOVE YOU, OKAY!?" and wallace just laughs and is like "omg did u really think that would make me hate you??? Guy, i love you too." And scotts like "??? Really???" And wallace laughs again and is like "yeah. Why else would i put up with you?" And they have a lil talk and agree to date :33

with mayhaps a short epilogue of them just being cute & gay

[monarchofthequeerpotatoes]

out of context @beanthebugboi quotes because they're very funny

(other friends we have for context are d (she/her) sd (they/it/he/she) and s (she/her))

(quotes that aren't signed were bean because this post was supposed to be about them before i started copy and pasting an entire document full of quotes. i dont take credit for any of this apart from stuff i said i just think its funny)

"i was going for "rotisserie chicken" and ended up closer to "roadkill""

"hell yeah i have a rice krispie spine"

"would you recognise my hands if they weren't full of bird?"

“I just found out that vegetables don’t exist, reality is crumbling, YOU EXPECT ME TO BE POSITIVE??” “Bean, Bean, Bean, Bear Grylls should have taught you by now, the three rules to survival are: positivity, positivity, positivity. How else will we survive in this crumbling, vegetable-less universe?”- @sarkylittlemonster

“….y’know I was just doing an impression of Hooty singing Wii music when….”

“For the last time, it is NOT cannibalism”

“AWWWW I love thatttttt it is absolutely perfect” “Ah yes beqn >:]” -D “I am going to hold your imaginary pet peacocks hostage”

“I saw it in your bass music” (in a dream that @forest-fairy-wren had)

“Do you have a lot in common with a pine cone?”

“GHOSTBUSTERS” "THOSE BUSTARDS” - @sarkylittlemonster

“Yay for not getting stabbed”

“How dare you insult my deep-fried root vegetables” “HA, vegetables don’t exist, and neither does taste, it appears” - @sarkylittlemonster “IT IS TOO DAMN EARLY FOR THIS” “IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY FOR ONION RINGS BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP YOU DID IT” - @sarkylittlemonster

“I’m so honoured I just choked on my own spit”

“Oh you play violin, that’s so cool!”- @sarkylittlemonster “*Screams in violist*”

“Good morning, fbi's most and least wanted! How are we all today? :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “…I need to know who’s who lol. Am I most wanted or least wanted” “You're probably right in the middle :D” - @forest-fairy-wren

“Why the heck are you talking like that :)” “Whatever do you mean? I have always talked in this manner” - @forest-fairy-wren “THOU MUST NOT ASKETH QUESTIONS CONCERNING OUR WAY OF SPEAK.” - s “…Alright I shall not asketh.”

“Please close your balls of sight and rest.” - @forest-fairy-wren “D o   n o t   c a l l   e y e s   t h a t   e v e r   a g a i n” “Very well I shall call them seeing orbs instead.” - @forest-fairy-wren “Yeah that works”

“I- she’s so pretty. So flippin majestic. *gay screaming*”

“I have no idea what conversation i just walked into but it seems interesting :)” “Whale reproductive organ size debate” - S

“Sleep is cool, Bean! It's like a free trial of death :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “Mhm really selling it there lol”

“OMFG GUYS I was listening to Will Wood (as one does, when one is trying to get through a stupid math project) and just as 6up 5oh Cop-Out started, an ambulance passed, and the siren went perfectly with the music nsafjhdsklfhdakshfg I literally had to pause the music because I was like “wait why does the siren bit sound different”

“Oh I’m sorry let me just-” *becomes ilikemenderman*

“...so his tongue is a breadstick revolver?”

“Hi, I’m back, also what the fuck”

“Is that the same as t4t but with cannibalism?”

“You’re averaging 120 children per wife lmao” “Who are you to judge, cannibal”- @sarkylittlemonster “If they were sour, you'd probably eat them :(“ - @forest-fairy-wren

“Witchcraft is talking* to my sage plant so it’ll be better at getting rid of bad vibes)” “*nicely, not the way Crowley does” “Well, you’ll never become Crowly at this rate, BUCK UP AND THREATEN THEM” - @sarkylittlemonster “Witch duties take precedence over gender envy rn. I refuse to put any negativity in my sage plant 😤”

“Wedding?”-S “For the last time S I am NOT marrying Ronaldo” “I- lol, what?” -D “Yesterday, when Uni and Wren decided to have a double wedding with Vox and Akira, S decided to make it a triple wedding and tried to marry me off to Christiano Ronaldo. I hissed at her, passive-aggressively played a country song about a girl and her bestie murdering her husband, and then ran away to live in the woods and become Squirrel Girl”

“……so I have to marry a football guy, an evil capitalist TV screen, and someone’s cat-eared OC???” “Sounds like a Tuesday”-me

“Is Ronaldo in hell?” “I’m the one who sent him there” -S

“...are you a writer or a serial killer” “I am a professional multitasker” -S

“Guys I was NOT DROWNING ANYONE”

“Star why are you lobotomizing pencils”

“Rt54re4” (his cat)

“I have literally zero flirting skills, I cry when I get mad, and sometimes I sit on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night eating sliced cheese out of the packet. I am the opposite of simp-able”

“Fear not sib, for I am thick-skulled. Also I think it's currently Uni's turn with The Sanity so dw I didn't damage it.”

“Y'all I think I resurrected a fish yesterday. Also there are sooo many Hamilton songs stuck in my head rn (again), and I really really really want some chocolate rocks.”

“*scurries away with a slightly larger number of bones than the average human*”

“I just want to point out thstI sond a my bones, they wrre not stolen :D” - @forest-fairy-wren “I think Weeb is having a stronk”

“…I may or may not have just consumed a dead gnat.”

“I'm dysphoric AND disabled, Body is my comfort song”

“nOPE no no fuck no I will kick you in the kidneys” -Bean “Not my crunchy kidneys :(“ - @sarkylittlemonster “What.” - @forest-fairy-wren 

“Anyway, gonna go stick the lil fella in the microwave, brb :D”

“Every uterus should come with a free lavender-scented microwavable plushie”

“The goop is indeed goopy”