#my head is a mess rn and I'm not sure this is worth sharing

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two

From Konan

Why would it gross you out? You basically deal with blood for a living!

Flattery might get you a hug but it won't get you out of your share of the food bill.

In all seriousness that's ridiculous.

Just pretend he’s Kakuzu. Problem solved.

You guys need to keep it down. I need my beauty sleep!

Sasori has a variety of things he could give you to ease the pain. But be warned he’ll likely give you a three hour lecture on “proper dental hygiene”.

I'm sure he just meant it as a joke. No need to eviscerate him.

I need that like I need a hole in my head.

Love is not about looks, it's about feelings and personality. He's the kindest, most gentle man I've ever known in my life.

If you're that curious, just transform into one and feel them yourself!

He doesn't take betrayal very well. I'd strongly reconsider if I were you.

Being immortal is a hell of a thing to have in common, isn't it?

I wish you and Dei would leave him be. Just because he *chooses* not to fight back doesn't mean he can't, or won't at some point. And I think that will be a scary day for the two of you.

Ladies don't curse but if you heard even half of what I was thinking it'd blow your mind, Hidan.

From Itachi

Looks mean very little to me.

If you're that interested in seeing them, then just ask him to pull down his pants for you the next time you see him. See what he says.

A compliment coming from you sounds very, very odd.

I would not just leave something like that to chance and never, ever to the two of you.

We're close. That's all you need to know.

I'll admit, the honey and ants in my bed was a clever, if sadistic, touch.

You've got ten minutes to return it to my door or I promise your eternity will be one long inescapable nightmare.

No.

The last time I went with you guys you ate $1000 worth of food and then tried to stick me with the bill!

If you'd just admit it I'd be willing to go easy on you.

Of course he's an attractive man but I couldn't deal with that personality on a daily basis.

In that way I'm better than you, aren't I? You clearly fear death. I don't.

If my opinion counts for anything: hold on to Kakuzu. I don't believe there's a single other soul in this universe that would care for you the way he does.

I suppose not all the time. He does brush my hair out for me a lot. Very gentle.

From Tobi

If it isn't something that could work, why would it be the plot to SO MANY homoerotic stories??

You left it sitting there for three days! If I didn't eat it, it would have spoiled!

Just woke up not in the mood for your shit rn

If he thinks you're like a brother than one day me and you can be in-laws!

You didn't even spell "delusional" right.

Are you the one who left the jar of crickets on my bed?

Actually your hair would probably look good longer.

You're not going to lecture ME on something like that!

I think of him like a little cousin. So STOP messing with him!

If you think Kakuzu looks "sexy" without his mask you couldn't handle ME, man.

Come with us, the water should be fine by now.

The Hidden Leaf? Nope. Never heard of it.

Sharingan?? LOL

Be warned, Hidan. I'm not as stupid as you think I am.

Do YOU want to see my FIST? Okay then.

So is "Jashin" just looking the other way while you love Kakuzu, then?

From Nagato

I think of you all as my children. Some more problematic than others.

Yes it works! And even if it didn't, she wouldn't leave me!

I almost teamed you up with Deidara but I don't think I could have afforded that sort of damage.

Ultimately that would be Kakuzu's decision.

Tell your God to meet up with me and we'll see who's more "real", brat.

What. Did. You. DO?!

If I hear that you "accidentally" walked in while she was changing again, you'll wish to the heavens that you WERE able to die.

Yes but a mostly vegetarian diet is easier for my body to handle.

I did not form these teams with the intention of being a matchmaker.

I wish you would put as much effort and planning into your missions as you do to harassing your fellow Akatsuki teammates.

From Deidara

Yes I blew him up but I didn't rob him. Standards, man.

Me and Kisame going fishing, you in?

Come see me we gotta get our stories straight before Leader questions us.

He stepped on a beehive. Spent all day pulling stingers from his arms and legs. STILL wouldn't take off his mask.

I knoooooow. God you sound like Sasori.

I did but I don't think they can prove that it was me ...

You can't just sculp some little mouse and then call yourself an artist! It doesn't work like that!

I think the chicken was bad I can't stop puking and my ass is literally on fire!

If you won't listen to me talk about my REAL art, what makes you think I'm gonna listen to you talk about your FAKE God??

Me and you and Itachi. Yes he'll go if we drag him out.

Yeah but she's sooooooo pretty how can I help it?!

Why are you bragging? That just means you'll be old and ugly before me!

Honestly I just bring him a body and some tools and he stays distracted for like a week. Lets me do whatever without even questioning it lmao

He likes to carry me. Don't ask questions, I just enjoy not having to walk for a few hours.

I really, REALLY don't need to know what "gets you off". Pervert.

From Kisame

I have no idea how to answer something like that.

I don't know what's going on with you and Kakuzu but please stop "accidentally" sending me pics like that or I'm blocking you.

I'd die for him but all I really want is for him to live for me.

I think we're the only two who like it ultra-rare and dripping blood. Well, maybe Zetsu.

Yeah I have my suspicions as well but it's like that thing is glued to his face or something. Deidara is the only one who could get close enough to him to try it but he seems scared for some reason.

You can join us but no screaming in the water this time or you'll scare them all off.

I've got at least 11 years up on you so yes, you ARE a brat to me.

I don't think there are any decent shortcuts, we just have to walk straight through. Ask Kakuzu to lend you his tall boots.

There's doing our job and then there's crossing the line. Guess which one you did.

Yes it's warm but that doesn't mean we wish to see you sitting out there in the nude.

Itachi's not feeling well so I need a replacement weight for my other arm. Deidara is already helping, now I need you too.

In the old days they used leeches as a cure for everything. A few aren't gonna kill ya, kid. Don't be a baby.

He's literally perfect. And he's MINE. So onsen or not the next time I catch you looking like that I'll snatch your eyes out and eat them like grapes :)

From Sasori

Come see me before the infection spreads.

Mint, rosemary, and a tiny bit of thyme.

Unless you’re looking to get bent over, brat, how it works is none of your goddamned business.

You would likely be a terrible one.

No, he’s it for me. I’ll either marry him or kill him, haven’t decided yet.

I can imitate eating to fool enemies but the food will just stay in my throat until I manually remove it.

You kill humans nearly every day, you can handle a spider.

It would break my metaphorical heart.

I’m not “betting” you anything. I KNOW it won’t kill you. But the poison is both expensive and time-consuming to make and I’m not wasting it on you.

18 and 34.

Leave the ones that I’ve marked alone. They’re perfect specimens and I won’t have you ruin them with that heathen ritual of yours.

Yes but I’m slowly coming to accept that sexuality is a spectrum and nothing is black or white.

You and Tobi will be coming with. Pack extra food and warm clothes. No whining that you’re hungry or cold later on.

It won’t be as amusing when I nail your skull to the wall.

From Zetsu

He tasted so good. My many thanks.

I haven’t any idea why the others seem so perturbed by it, considering their *own* “atrocities".

Too loud. Sensitive ears.

Aren't you having relations with him? Surely you could convince him.

Unfortunately we need them alive and well, so please, none of your antics.

Couldn't hurt. But I doubt it would help, either.

Out of everyone here, you and your blood-scented skin smell the best.

I'm beginning to think your obsession with penises is more than a passing curiosity and an indication for serious concern.

Deidara is correct, everything is ephemeral. This world is temporary.

I wouldn't know the first thing about manipulating anyone. I'm just a plant.

From Kakuzu

Try me and see. I DARE you, brat.

Either help me or stay home and shut up about it.

You stimulate me, but not in all good ways.

If I wasn't "obsessed with money" this entire organization would be nothing, we'd be homeless and everyone would be starving.

Just wait until I get you alone.

Next time I suggest you think before you act.

Deidara will face Sasori but YOU will have to deal with ME. Consider that.

It's your turn to pay for dinner. I could go for either seafood or steak.

Call it gay if you wish but you won't change my mind.

I'm not sure if your body could handle multiple hearts, immortal or not.

Endurance training. My room. Ten minutes. Hydrate yourself beforehand.

You're going to eat something green if I have to pry open your mouth and shove it down your throat.

Because I CARE, asshole.

Why should I have to fight them off because you can't keep your hands to yourself??

I happen to like Itachi so watch your manners, if any exist.

Can't "believe" in someone I've never met. Which is why I don't understand why YOU do.

If I ever went, I'm taking you out with me. "'Til death" is inaccurate.

Sure, sure. While you're at it pray for money to drop out of the sky and into my lap.

Handcuffs aren't doing it for me anymore. Bring some rope and maybe some honey this time.

Get back here and clean this shit up before I come kill you.

Love you. <3. Delete this text immediately.

[alitgblog]

s9 vol 6: oh fuck I was joking last time but am i.. is this gonna be a Hamish route for me??? 😳

i guess first of all, the kelly/kat drama. I know it's yet again Finn and Kat but I'm happy they're dealing with it in a different way (although if S5 is Suresh's island, I can't help but think S9 is Kat's island 🙄). The thing that annoyed me the most is MC not being able to say anything? Like Kelly brought up the note, I feel like MC and Finn should've said something.

however we do get this, which, as someone with a friend whose name starts with K going through relationship troubles with a Korean man, actually I'm offended they took my joke and made it less funny,

but snog marry pie! Most of the girls (my MC included) choosing to kiss Hamish? It's like we all forget how bad a kisser he was in S6 like what happened. however, uhhh kinda worth it like I was initially intrigued about a Finn or Stefan route but Hamish is really coming in as a dark horse with chat like this (especially considering how sassy MC can be this season)

and the thing too is even though hes clearly changed bc they're making him a serious LI this season, there are several moments where I'm like yeah that's the same guy that had the audacity to ask S6 MC to run away with him at the end of S6

Then I played by rules like Chen, and chose a different person to snog, a different person to marry, a different person to pie. And then Hamish gets his little moment kissing and marrying MC, which kind of undermines the big moment which is his speech where he pies himself? like the talk on the terrace later this volume is great and I love the flirty banter between him and MC but he's so wishy washy about Natasha and it just doesn't really get addressed?

Kat's partner (in my game, Jude) is a whole mess. Like it'd be one thing if he's gonna be like "hey I'm sorry I was just defending Chen because I misinterpreted some stuff I thought you did" but it's another to do all that meanwhile he was also being shady about flirting with Melissa???

Then they call the incident Melgate bc... fusebox struck gold with Cherrygate and has been trying to recreate it ever since and has always failed. I never clicked the gem scene that would prompt Kat to tell you this story, and so I was so confused until they explained it in the next episode and that was so annoying. Then they do the thing (again!) where they like shame you for not being a friend (Kat's like "I tried to tell you"). this is worse than when you had an ugly dress and the girls were like God you look awful.

Jude being vague during the game was annoying bc i know theyre just stretching it out but also absolutely I could see that happening on the show where he's like "you know what you did. we'lltalk about it later" and it cuts to MC in the beach hut being like "judes being a real bitch. of course I know what I did but which time are you referring to"

Chen being constantly voted the sweetest during the challenge and then awards night is great but also just reminds me that his character is gonna be so vague from now on bc he's sharing a personality with three other guys. like its gonna hurt to break him but also he's not getting the care from the writing team that they've been giving the other routes so unfortunately he's boring rn 😬. doesn't even have the audacity to be mad just has to go away and think. And Chen just keeps taking L's too with MC (at least in my game) flirting with everyone and Jude in his ear saying MC can't be trusted. like if he twists in casa I'm not even sure if the audience would blame him (they would bc they love MC but ya knowww)

God don't remind me I'm missing not only missing actual litg season 2 but also what I have instead is Kat and Finn season 2

anyway MC being able to say never have I ever had a steamy shower with someone? she's so messy

also with Natasha explaining more of what she did in casa on her original season has me making things up in my head bc you gotta be a pretty memorable casa girl for the game to pretend you're an all star but she didn't even make it to the actual villa so that's even harder to imagine, but I'm going to pretend she flirted with one of the guys while also sneaking behind his back with Roxy and people ate that up. then he tells her he wants to bring her to the villa and she rides off into the sunset with Roxy instead (or Roxy breaks her heart goes in the villa with a guy idk)

I'm starting to think Kat's gonna end up either with Finn or if MC is with Finn, then single but then we get a reunion episode and she reveals she's dating Finn's brother bc she has a TYPE (also wouldn't be out of the ordinary for fusebox bc of the grace/ozzy/marshall thing but it's still icky to me lol)

then lastly for brunch we got the first of TWO prompts this volume to lay to learn about your own backstory?? I mean no question I'm upset about paying for information but your OWN character??

I had no problem saying no though like I feel like there's enough context about Sarah Ann for me to guess (side note, if anyone from Casa comes back with Sarah Ann I'm throwing hands)

OK but awards now. I feel like awards night is usually an end of season thing when the producers of the show have not much drama left bc the couples are solid and they want to throw in drama for the last week, but seeing as this is a game and they can just write in the finale whenever, I guess here is alright. (I wonder if that means no movie night then though?)

the clip they showed of Natasha? honestly, I respect her more for it. like idk she just seems more real than this perfect character flirting with MC all the time if she's venting to Hamish about also being sick of Kat and Finn or small things like Kelly taking long to get ready.

Here's where I did wish there was more branching like I think if you didn't do anything with Finn you should get a nice award, like about being loyal, while the clip still showed Finn being sneaky. like I don't doubt that if this were real, the producers of the show WOULD show the note and then getting cut off before MC realizing it's Finn and not her partner, but it's irritating to get blamed for that and even worse, MC does not get a real chance to defend herself, we just listen to everyone else's reactions.

anyway in my game MC should've been shown pieing off Finn at the pool and then Jude apologizing realizing he didn't understand what he saw. and then subsequently after show the clip of MC trying to kiss Finn at the shower and him rejecting her bc I personally loved that moment and I actually gasped when I thought they were gonna show it instead of cutting it off (bc again, not enough branching)

I did spend the gems on the second MC lore thing bc I was like ehh why not it's the end of the volume and like wow I get why I like s9 mc now, she's so Bobby coded 🤣

once again, I do appreciate the effort going into Hamish's route rn bc he has actual consequences and regrets for hooking up with Melissa and it getting exposed. OK maybe not actual consequences bc I think the game will just continue to pair up him and Natasha but the fact that there are some repercussions at all AND he gets to talk out his feelings and regrets about it with MC on the terrace after? And then he continues to show interest in MC and explain his reasons for not being with her and also the whole hi trying to look for validation from his dad? sorry Finn and Chen, the writers are playing favorites

I did not think we were getting casa lmao. there's no casa in the actual love island all stars and love island games so I was surprised but I'm curious about who the other boys are, if they're all gonna be international or are we gonna see at least one more UK islander? if Cassius is coming in during casa it feels like he's gonna be overshadowed and his route is probably merged with some international guys, which I guess makes enough sense like we didn't know him during season 7 anyway but I'm just curious.

oh yeah and this guy

late to the party like I know the game keeps reminding me of him, but the more they did the interested I was, but I could be brought back

OK fingers crossed they don't dump single islanders post casa

[tkwrites]

Life is royally kicking my ass rn 🙃 any chance you are able to bless us with more initial or bts thoughts for some of your works?

I can list a couple to save you from having to figure out which ones you've already previously shared but don't feel you have to do all of them. Just mentioning a few to see if any spark something to you 🥰

Second nature, please, elimination, let the cleaners deal with it, before I meet your parents, first fight, love me gently, the second time is better, worth the wait, our heroes meet

Okay I think I just dead ass named all the snapshots you've not previously shared about 😂 I just can't pick favourites 😘

Hope you are doing well and can't wait to read whatever goodness you are currenly working on 🩷🩷

Hi Lovely, thank you for this sweet message!

I'm sorry life is so hard right now, and I'm so glad my little au can be an escape for you.

I'm so flattered that you want any behind the scenes tidbits at my fics, but to not have favorites? I'm blushing. ☺️

I'm doing well. Work is still a little nuts - I missed a meeting with a client today because I was training a new employee and lost track of time. 😬 So that's fun.

I've put the bts notes down below so I don't take over your feed.

[ ] Second Nature

Second Nature started with the vision of Quinn putting Sarah's bra back on. Specifically the idea of him threading the strap back on her shoulder. I knew Sarah had a tattoo on her rib cage and when I designed it in my head, I just had this vision of her needing him to see it, but not quite willing to bare all.

I wanted Quinn to be respectful and sweet about it - freaking out a little before realizing he could fix the issue at hand (i.e. wanting to comfort her, but her bra is undone) and doing so.

[ ] Please

I'm pretty sure the inspiration for this was an ovulation dream about Quinn begging. I was certainly ovulating when I started writing it, which is why it's a little more smutty than usual.

[ ] Elimination

This one started because Quinn looks so sad and distraught sometimes that I just want to hug him and remind him hockey isn't his whole life. I think in real life this would actually be pretty rude and dismissive, so I'm glad Sarah does it better.

[ ] Let the cleaners deal with it

This was totally inspired by the ask that came in about this idea. When I read the ask, I could vividly see Quinn waking up to Sarah trying to get blood out of the sheets with ice and paper towels and him, in his sleepy mind going, what the hell is going on?

[ ] Before I Meet Your Parents

This one was born from trying to write Sarah Meets the Parents (which finally started coming together when I wrote what is now the opening line of that fic). I kept getting so stuck on the idea that Sarah would have a hard time with the idea of meeting Quinns parents, and had to write it out. This idea that she doesn't know what she's feeling is something I experience quite often.

I was really, really nervous about including the sex scene in this one. I think it really flows when I read it back now, but at the time, I worried it might read like I was adding it in just for the sake of having smut, which wasn't true, but I worried.

[ ] First Fight

When I was writing Better, it felt a little incomplete. Not that the story was, but Quinn and Sarah's relationship felt a little incomplete somehow, and the angst of this fulfilled that, giving them a test they could pass.

I also wanted to explore more about how his past relationship messed with Quinn, which spurred from this line in Second Nature:

It had taken months to get that comfortable with his last girlfriend, June. She hadn’t been as into him as he’d been into her (and hadn't been afraid to wield that fact like a sword), so that had been most of the problem.

It morphed into wanting to show the contrast of a fight with June against a fight with Sarah. That they're very, very different because Sarah is very different than anyone he's previously dated.

[ ] Love Me Gently

This was really selfish on my part. I'm physically quite sensitive (well, I'm quite sensitive in all areas of my life, let's get real), and so really, Quinn in this is how I'd want my ideal partner to react.

I really wanted Sarah to express open, unashamed communication about her needs. It's part of that 'fuck that' attitude she's had since losing her mom. Like, I don't have time to suffer through you figuring out what I like when I could just tell you.

[ ] The Second Time is Better

This one actually started because of a blip from season 7 of Love Island UK. In it, one of the contestants and his partner have sex for the first time. After, he tells his friends something like, "not gonna lie, it was two strokes and done." And that just spurred off this whole thought process for me about how the first time with someone new usually isn't some mind blowing experience. You're still getting used to your new partner and it's highly likely it's not going to be phenomenal. I really liked that idea of Quinn being embarrassed and Sarah reassuring him she didn't expect all that much just by virtue of it being their first time. In many ways, this one kind of wrote itself. It flowed out in like 3 days or something.

[ ] Worth The Wait

Worth the wait started with the idea of them watching Star Wars since they bonded over it in Out Heroes Meet, but I needed it to be more than just a movie, so I put them in a cinema pub and let it go from there.

Originally, this fic idea didn't have the whole scene with Sarah watching hockey for the first time, but, I felt like we didn't know her well enough and I needed a transition from Quinn letting her know he was leaving to when she texts him about the movie. Once I started, it just kind of started flowing. Eunice is so wild in this fic, but I kind of love that about her.

[ ] Our Heroes Meet

This was totally based on the idea of fate. I've always loved the ocean and went to the aquarium on my vacation to Vancouver last summer, so it felt like a good starting place. I wanted Sarah to be really smart and educated, and it occurred to me that she could work at the aquarium and study something with the ocean. Then, I just had to get Quinn there with her. And what better way for lovers to meet-cute than because of a rain storm?

[shira-hoe-shi]

A Mutual 'Oh Fuck.'

Kidlawlu magic!genderbend WIP

I started working on this when I had a surprise two hours free at work and needed somewhere to channel all of my directionless energy.

This is strictly a WIP. I'm not saying I'm not going to write more of this, but it feels a little too happy for what I'm looking to write rn?

But! I still thought someone might like it and I wanted to share bc I'm always looking for constructive feedback to become stronger writer :) + I'm really struggling with how to turn an idea into a finished piece.

The details are irrelevant—who poured the last round of drinks, who started the inevitable dick measuring contest, who pissed off the island’s resident mystic.

What matters right now is the jackhammer working to ram its way out of Kid’s skull. He feels like shit. The inside of his mouth is dry and he realizes with a grimace, wiping the back of one arm against his face, that the corners of his mouth are crusted over. Pushing himself up to his elbows, Kid sucks in a deep breath, curling the air at the back of his throat in an attempt to dislodge a night’s worth of mucus from his sinuses. He spits haphazardly to the side, not even sparing a glance to where the warm splat makes contact.

Sitting up completely, Kid buries his face in his hands, digging his knuckles into his eye sockets, dislodging sleep and bringing himself fully into the realm of the living. It’s bright as fuck. His chest hurts; his chest feels fucking heavy.

He stretches his arms high over his head with a pop before snapping his neck from side to side with the swift cracks. Joints settled, Kid lets a hand fall to his bare chest to idly check for damage. Had he gotten into a fight? Finally given that twink bastard Trafalgar Law something to really be goomy about; maybe a goose egg or a split lip on that shitty smirking face.

Kid’s fingers prod intently. His skin is tender. It’s soft? His frown deepens, eyes snapping fully awake and down.

Does he have fucking tits?

Kid is scrambling to his feet and he doesn’t scream, but there’s a high pitched wheeze that slips out of him that feels dangerously close. He doesn’t make it to his feet, legs tangling and suddenly he’s falling ass over tin cups before meeting the wall with a hard thud.

And it gets worse. So much worse. Because Kid didn’t trip over a mess of blankets or a pile of discarded laundry. No, he has one ankle hooked under none other than Trafalgar Law who’s now snapping awake and jostling a similarly entwined Straw hat Luffy with him.

Law’s staring at him and he’s staring back, a mutual oh fuck dawning across their faces in an instant.

Law is still, well, Law, but softer somehow. The hard lines of his chin dulled, lips full and swollen despite the tightness of the sneer they’re pulled into, and—oh shit—shirt ruffled and unbuttoned, allowing one pert breast to peek through. Small. Maybe a handful, not Kid’s hand to be sure because that dude is massive, but… the tendrils of his tattoo dip and bend to their body’s new curves, swirling snuggly against one taut, brown nipple.

Maybe his eyes linger a second too long, maybe his mouth falls a millimeter too wide, but Law is growling and wrenching the two sides of his shirt together.

“Eustass-ya,” his voice like gravel through clenched teeth, “what the fuck did you do?”

Indignant. In an instant.

[... something something “Me!? You creepy bastard you’re the one who likes playing with body parts y’sick fuck”]

[..something something Luffy’s eyes are still heavy with sleep and though he’s sat up enough to take in the room, if there’s something amiss, he certainly hasn’t realized it yet.]

[Kid has huge tits; Luffy looks almost exactly the same lmao]

[parts-of-spop]

Street racer AU in which Catra is rivals with Adora when they were once partners and then she messes up bad... real bad... and Catra fully realises it... Part 2/?

Adora rolls her Mustang to a halt beside her friends and Bow is immediately opening the door and leaning in to the cab. Catra can’t stop watching, craning her neck in an attempt to see what the hell is happening when he pulls back out, Adora’s arm draped around his neck.

Fuck. She looks even worse.

Glimmer is on her other side in an instant, steadying her and looking at her with a kind of frustrated concern on her face.

Adora’s eyes are bloodshot and she’s bathed in sweat.

Catra slides her window down, stretching her hearing to catch what they’re saying.

“I told you it was too soon, Adora…” Glimmer chides gently as her and Bow lead Adora to the front of the car and help her sit on the hood.

“It’s not debilitating. I can handle it. It’s fine,” Adora says through rough pants.

“Adora, you look terrible. I knew you were under-playing it,” Glimmer returns and Adora stays quiet. “Did you take your painkillers before the race like I told you to?”

“… They make me sluggish. I need my reflexes.”

Glimmer looks like she’s a second from throttling Adora in that moment but Bow steps in.

“Be that as it may, Adora, your health is more important than any race,” He says with a caring smile, his hand coming to rest on Adora’s shoulder and squeeze.

“I know…” Adora replies, voice quieter. So quiet that Catra almost misses it. She doesn’t like the tone of that voice… because it sounds suspiciously that Adora doesn’t believe it.

“Now where are you hurting?” Bow coaxes and Adora drags a hand down her own face.

The silence drags on and still Adora won’t speak, body tensing by the moment.

“Adora… please…” Glimmer pleads, gripping Adora’s other hand and then Adora looks to her, weary reluctance painted across her face.

“I’m fine…” She says and she says it so quietly that Catra has to read it on her lips.

Her hands clench around the steering wheel, claws threatening to tear into the worn leather.

“But you’re not. You’re not fine. You haven’t been fine this entire time and you keep shutting us out. Why won’t you let us help you?” Glimmer implores, voice turning frantic and Adora gives the tiniest most wretchedly sad smile that Catra has ever seen.

She looks so sad… defeated even though she’s just won the race.

“Because it doesn’t matter,” She says simply and Catra’s chest tightens.

What?

The thought is shared.

“What? No! Adora, that’s not true at all!” Bow cries suddenly as Glimmer gapes in wide-eyed disbelief.

Then Adora shrugs and slides off her Mustang and back onto her feet. She winces faintly, favouring her left leg for a moment before steeling herself and planting both against the tarmac.

“I have to get going. I have a meeting in town,” Adora says calmly, stepping past her floundering friends and climbing back into the car but not before pausing, her eyes drifting up and catching Catra’s for a moment. “I can look out for myself now,” She adds, voice hardening and those tired eyes narrow at her.

Catra swallows hard, eyes burning.

Then Adora ducks into her car and disappears from sight.

Which is probably for the best before Catra starts crying almost immediately and is only dimly aware of Bow and Glimmer calling protests after their friend, desperately trying to keep her from driving away.

It’s futile.

Catra could have told them that.

I can look out for myself now…

I look out for me and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.

Catra didn’t realise she had enough of a heart left to break… but she feels it then.

“… Adora hates me,” She whispers in quiet realisation.

And she doesn’t want me.

And that’s something she’s never fully comprehended as a possibility in all of this because Adora was always trying to reach out to her. No matter how vicious and biting she was in return, she let it run off her shoulders like water.

But a line has been crossed… a very big one and now it’s over.

Catra has hurt her too badly to ever be worthy of forgiveness.

She’s fucked up. Colossally and monumentally fucked up.

And there’s no way to fix it.

The damage is done and she can’t take it back.

“Adora hates me…” She repeats just to help it settle in. “She hates me…”

She starts the engine and pulls out, driving towards an unknown destination, shifting gears on instinct rather than conscious thought and she repeats it over and over again.

“Adora hates me…”

She hates me and I deserve it.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

It's Nondenominational Holiday Time in the City

Here's our past lists! My goal for these is always to give you something to read in a corner when things get overwhelming during the holidays. Uncle keeps yelling about how the vote was stolen? Go read some fluff. Cousin maliciously uses the wrong pronouns over and over again. Punch them in the head and then go read some fluff.

You're amazing and I will repeat myself until you hear me. You don't need to live up to how your family expects you to be. You don't need a significant other, to have babies, to explain your gender or sexuality or gender expression or really anything. You are well within your rights to say "Aunt Mildred, I am not going to explain the word pansexual to you again. Google it." Fanfic is always there for you. And Team Eyebrows. Even if we're miles away and in different time zones. You are cared for. Anyway...on to the fic.

Some things are worth the wait by FeelingsDusk

(1/1 I 3,848 I General I Steter)

The first time Peter meets the newly appointed Argent family head, he’s twelve and he shouldn’t even be there. He leaves the meeting chastised, punished for a month and nursing a crush the size of Mexico. It only goes downhill from there for a long time before it doesn't.

Kate and Chris don't know what to think about their new guardian, but the moment he burns Gerard’s cane to cinders, it's clear that things won’t ever be the same with Stiles Argent in their lives.

Find Me Here by skoosiepants

(1/1 I 5,537 I Teen I Sterek)

It’s not that Stiles hates his neighbor. Sure, he’s a huge jerkface who wears leather jackets, douchy sunglasses and routinely tries to murder Stiles with his eyes.

But Stiles doesn’t hate him. He’s not sure he’s capable of hating someone that smoking hot.

Or -

Stiles and Derek get snowed in on Christmas Eve.

a burden shared is a burden halved by cywscross

(1/1 I 7,935 I General I Steter)

‘I wish Mom and me can see the sunrise this Christmas.’

Bet On It by IDreamOnlyOfYou (lauren3210)

(1/1 I 8,434 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles is an RN and Derek the attending trauma surgeon at Beacon Hills Hospital. They're constantly arguing, much to the amusement of their colleagues, who ultimately decide to take bets on when the sexual tension will finally explode. The only question is, who will win the jackpot?

Or

5 times one of the guys try to push Derek and Stiles together, and the time they worked it out all on their own.

A Royal Christmas Engagement by skoosiepants

(1/1 I 25,686 I Explicit I Sterek)

Young omega Warden Lord Mieczysław Stilinski, given the royal request of marrying Crown Prince Derek Hale of Triskelion, predictably messes the whole entire thing up.

Or –

An arranged marriage, mistaken identity, a/b/o, accidental heat fic

AND

@onesterektion23 suggested these!

Glad Tidings by stilinskisparkles

(8/8 I 24,166 I Mature I Sterek)

“Eight people are going to be descending on our home in a mere matter of days, Derek.” Stiles grabs the pizza box, uses it to gesture at the pile of books and papers under the table, away and towards Derek’s sneaker collection. “You want them to think we live like this all the time?”

“We do live like this all the time,” Derek huffs, stretching lazily.

A Very Merry Mixup by teacuphuman

(25/25 I 28,369 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles is on his way to meet his future in-laws for the first time over Christmas, but an unfortunate chain of events (which are totally all Derek Hale's fault) have him questioning if the future he's headed for is really the one he wants.

AND, AND

@dragonballsloth suggested this one!

A Neighborly Christmas Eve by redpenny

(1/1 I 4,958 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek grits his teeth. "I was just willing to pay a lot of money for a couple of hours with you, in case you forgot."

"You did notice that I'm fat, right?"

"I noticed."

Ho, Ho, Ho, Who Wouldn't Go? by orphan_account

(1/1 I 9,590 I Explicit I Sterek)

"He was just contemplating whether or not buying his father a giant steak and averting his gaze while he ate could be considered a viable Christmas gift, when a flash of red and a loud, booming, “ho, ho, ho” caught his attention. An idle glance had Stiles freezing in place. There in the center of the mall, mounted on an honest-to-god golden throne, wearing a false beard and a giant grin, was Derek-Freaking-Hale."

AND, AND, AND!

@lovesouthernsweettea suggested this one!

Kiss Me on This Cold December Night by Leslie_Knope

(1/1 I 18,975 I Explicit I Sterek)

The hairs on the back of Stiles’ neck tingle, and he swallows hard against the unmistakable sensation of someone staring at him. He’s tempted to just ignore it, but after a few seconds, his curiosity wins out and he looks up from his phone instead. He doesn’t notice anything right away, flicking his gaze along the people on the other side of the intersection until he suddenly stops and backtracks. It’s a little hard to see, what with the thick drizzle and the cars whizzing between them, but he would recognize that glorious bearded face anywhere, even after six years. Holy shit.

[knivesandwives]

Can you give an excerpt (is that the word?) or a pic from the book about Hannibal and Clarice's little date thing? I'm intrigued lol

Oh lol I'm honestly still reading it! Thank you for facilitating my venting though, and I will gladly share my incomplete knowledge. I haven't even finished this scene, which continues into another chapter. I had to take a break and cool my head because it makes me want to gag like I was a 5 year old with an aversion to kissing scenes (which is not usual for me. I just. I don't know about this). I could take the time to finish reading it in the time I'm writing this buuuut I'm too heated to do so atm, even though it would spare me the embarrassment of having very incomplete context. I don't even know whether Thomas Harris intends for the reader to want them together, but his treatment of Hannibal Lecter has generally verged on salivating over him, imo, so. I'm gonna take it as implied that I should like this a bit more than I do. I could be very wrong. Under the cut because it is a Rant

-----

I’ve got the fun wacky stuff first because this book is Wild. Bonkers. Then I have semi serious stuff and Thoughts thoughts in the second half 

-------------------

WACKY FUN STUFF PART

it is So over the top corny. Highlights so far:

-Hannibal is playing the harpsichord when Clarice walks out. In other scenes he’s played his theremin. He is insufferable

- the piece he's playing is called ‘If True Love Reigned’ and was composed by Henry VIII, which is a red flag if ever I heard one

-he dresses up in white tie for her and spends FOREVER decorating the house *just so* and inspecting the dinner table from various angles to check whether the Aesthetic is right, because the house he's rented out is only so-so and he's gotta make up for it:

I mean. He decides to add a shit ton of flowers to make it intimate and create a hanging gardens effect, realizes that this looks bad, and decides that the solution is More flowers. Maybe he’s right, but I think with the rest of the decorations this is probably looking like a mess right now.

-Uhhh if I remember correctly from the Freudian Daddy Issues chapter (hhhhh I want to have a word with Thomas Harris), the reason he makes the peonies in the flower arrangement “white as SNO BALLS” is because she has some sort of (dad-related) childhood memories about these fucking Hostess twinkie-level snacks. There are Levels to his floral arrangements

-Similarly, the cocktails he prepares for them have orange slices on the side because it’ll remind her of her father slicing oranges and Hannibal wants to be daddy

-The landlord he’s renting the house from (where he’s keeping Clarice and holding Date Night) has a fixation on Leda and the Swan, to the point that he has four statues of it and eight paintings of it in that one house alone. Hannibal likes the horniest one with the best “anatomical articulation.” Make of that what you will. There was indeed a reason for Bryan Fuller including such a pussy out painting in the set for Hannibal’s dining room. Hannibal covers the other Leda statues and paintings that don’t live up to his standards

- He brings her clothes to wear?? Special Fancy clothes for Date Night. Ugh. And I thought it was pushy and anal in SOTL when he gave her tips on how to improve her fashion

- Hannibal wears an ascot over a white shirt. No jacket. I don't know if I trust the taste level of this man. I like Freddy from scooby doo but his look seems like a stretch in this context

-he uses candelabra like he's the phantom of the opera and has this incredibly fucking extra mirror in his rented house:

-he tells her his goals for the evening in one of the trademark Long Confusing Hannibal Monologues we’re so used to seeing in the show, then asks Clarice if she understands, and her response is: no I don’t so I hope your food is good at least

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actual Serious Thoughts about it  (content warning: some vaguely psychosexual things involving characters’ family, drugging and non-sexual consent issues)

I think my reaction is definitely influenced by the context that's been presented so far for their relationship in this book, which includes (briefly):

--Hannibal has a fixation on Clarice as a potential replacement for/idealized version of Mischa, his dead sister. The moment he lays eyes upon her again in this book he starts having uncontrollable flashbacks that directly associate Clarice with Mischa and overlays their meanings and iconography. So... that's something. It shows up constantly whenever we get a glimpse into his POV. I have thoughts about what Hannibal finds appealing about Clarice RE as an idealized version/teacup reversal of Mischa; the book tells us he admires her courage and her spirit as a warrior despite having been victimized, and so Clarice is in some ways a version of Mischa that was capable of surviving despite the odds. That was (crudely) my working theory, anyway. Might have to reevaluate that now because I'm less certain now about Hannibal's intentions and how much his appreciation for Clarice is really *respectful* of her potential, versus how much he sees her as some sort of vehicle to replace Mischa and be some sort of walking talking idealized doll that he crafts into his dead sister. I wanted it to not be *as* weird and psychosexual as I thought it would end up being, but this book definitely leans into some weird sexualized Freudian shit, and I'm concerned that Mischa and Clarice are part of that despite my best efforts to rationalize it in a way that I would have preferred. Really, who fantasies about their lover being a reminder of their sister?

--Freudian hell part 2: Hannibal has rescued Clarice from the Verger farm (after she rescued him, which was quite dramatic) and has her drugged at his house and undergoing the type of hypnosis we see suggested with Will and Miriam Lass in NBC!Hannibal. Hannibal suggests things, she follows those suggestions with apparently little agency of her own. He probes into her history and traumas and causes her to see things. Among his goals here is to have her make peace with her dead father in some way (in a scene which strongly resembles Abigail's therapy with GJH's corpse as seen in the s3 flashbacks), and to give her some form of control over her memory of him. This is accompanied by some very squicky speculation from Hannibal about Clarice having taboo sexual associations with her father, which she projects (among other things) onto other father figures in her life like Jack Crawford or her fallen FBI partner. I didn't know before I got into this book whether it was going to legitimize the Electra complex angle on Clarice this much, and maybe I'm wrong to accept Hannibal's viewpoint as sacred, but. So far, that seems to be the take.

----

So that's the context for the leadup to this romantic dinner scene. Hannibal has decorated his house specially for this date night type thing and given her a slinky, fancy dress to wear in his fancy house. Clarice has been heavily under the influence of drugs so far, and this night is no exception. This chapter so far has been a treasure trove of the more romantic dialogue repurposed for NBC!Hannibal, but I kind of can't stand it here in this book as anything remotely romantic. It's almost entirely him talking *at* her and it seems like this is more about him and his idealized fantasy of her than it is actually about her. The text does refer to him as "the monster" more frequently in this chapter, and it calls him out directly for his vanity and self congratulation, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm even supposed to like it, but. Anyway. You asked for excerpts! This particular scene is probably the densest part of a very dense chapter (the highlights are a mess rn):

There's a lot of interesting stuff in here, some of which really raises my hackles in ways I wasn't anticipating. Clarice has just emerged in the outfit he chose for her to join him. Clarice's first question to him is to ask about how much he's invaded her privacy without her knowledge, and he has a very bullshit answer where he pretends that this situation he's manufactured, in which he drugs her and creates a fantasy world for them, is okay because it exists outside of reality. It doesn't. It's an interesting idea but it's bullshit. This is not his memory palace, this is reality and it does exist as a part of time that Clarice has had to experience (or not, as the case may be for her level of consciousness throughout this). And he turns around from this question about him being intrusive to reiterate his attraction to her. Squick at that. Her plain (possibly curt?) answer to his compliment, even though it's a thank you, causes him annoyance. This is where I really, Really start to have, like, flashbacks to Jessica Jones and the playing house plotline. Real strong flashbacks to that. Clarice's (apparently unintentional) failure to meet his standards and reciprocate in the exact way he wants her to makes him Annoyed. Clarice identifies this and holds her ground, interestingly enough, and Hannibal has a moment of awe at her stubborn individuality, but immediately falls back on self congratulatory wanking at his choice of woman. Then, there's more talking at her, to which she eventually says that she basically doesn't know what the fuck he means but she hopes he plans to make dinner worth her while. I appreciate Clarice holding her ground so well here, especially given the circumstances, and I don't know quite where this is headed, but I guess the gist of it is that in this context I just really want to slap Hannibal about and see him burn

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: Well well well Charlie: aren't you so smug Ronnie: 🖕 Charlie: Come on Charlie: if you aren't sharing you can at least share details Ronnie: hes not a homo Ronnie: turn him on your own time Charlie: none of 'em ever are, darling, you know the drill Charlie: not your usual type though, where'd you snatch him from? Ronnie: he stalked me but hes too pussy to try a kidnap Charlie: where were you Charlie: the library? Charlie: 🤔 Ronnie: yeah shooting up in the stacks Charlie: romantic Charlie: also you and every other junkie in this town, god bless a public space where you don't have to buy a shit cuppa to use the loos Charlie: but I won't be distracted Ronnie: guess again then gaylord Ronnie: reckon youll get close if you think librarian on a break Ronnie: frigid not slutty Charlie: why are you being such a tease? Charlie: not slutty or cool 😣 Ronnie: im not a tease just cause you miss my arse baby Charlie: hard to miss something that ain't never been there 💔 Charlie: there's no way he's a dealer or a tattoo 'artist' or any other degenerate you spend your days around Charlie: not got the look Ronnie: i told you hes a stalker Ronnie: facebooked me like a ma with a limp dicked hubby & 2 cunt kids Ronnie: cheers for all the content he found like Charlie: you and your several chins ain't that special though Charlie: no offense Charlie: where did he find you, why Charlie: WHY HAVEN'T YOU ASKED Ronnie: sort your head out soft lad Ronnie: why do you reckon Ronnie: think back to every bullshit baby dream you ever had Ronnie: 🏠👶🐶 Charlie: he's not old enough to be anyone's daddy Charlie: wait Charlie: oh no way Charlie: you're related to him Ronnie: got the same ma Charlie: fuck Charlie: that's huge Charlie: how old is he actually? Ronnie: 19 Ronnie: youngest of em is like 5 he said Charlie: there's more Charlie: Jesus Ronnie: brothers & a sister Charlie: obvs not your dad but just the one or what Charlie: what happened to her Ronnie: she met him the same year i was fucking born Ronnie: no time wasted Charlie: that's so messed up Charlie: I'm sorry Charlie: have whatever you're having on me rn Ronnie: give your sorrys to him Ronnie: proper headcase Ronnie: near west as i am Charlie: he's not actual stalker material is he Charlie: shit, if I'd have realised Ronnie: calm your tits fitz Ronnie: theres fuck all worth taking Ronnie: your virginitys long gone Charlie: not how he's gonna see it if he's actually looney Ronnie: if he wanted to murder me id be dead Ronnie: he had a clean shot when he got me from [that sketch location] Charlie: really Charlie: you'd rather risk getting raped and murdered than just tell me you were there again Ronnie: you say that like it aint my idea of a fun night Ronnie: whats a lil sexual & physical violence amongst potential family & friends yeah Charlie: be serious for a second please Ronnie: fuck you Charlie: what are you doing about this Charlie: what does he actually want Ronnie: hes a pussy with a deathwish Ronnie: dont know fuck all else about him Ronnie: didnt wanna know that Charlie: does your mum wanna see you? Ronnie: aint her looking Charlie: surely she asked him to Charlie: not the kinda thing you do off your own back Charlie: least she told them about you, clearly, loads don't, ever Ronnie: probably shitting herself id come knocking at 18 Charlie: aren't you gonna then Charlie: go knocking Ronnie: why the fuck would i Charlie: ain't the only one with unfulfilled childhood dreams Charlie: 🤬👊😡🖕 Ronnie: i can use him as a punching bag without having to catch a flight Charlie: he's not who your issue is really with though Charlie: biggest issue, anyway Ronnie: turn the daytime telly off like Ronnie: fucking hell Charlie: I'm job-hunting with my days tah very much Charlie: bullshit you've got nothing worth saying to her Ronnie: binging bargain hunt aint gonna do shit for your cv Ronnie: & hes happy to pass on the fuck yous Charlie: I'm not binging anymore, babe Charlie: and why, what happened to him? Ronnie: dont take marple to work out without a gag reflex for the purge youre gonna be a fat cunt Ronnie: ask him yourself if youre dead arsed Ronnie: having a ma can fuck you up like not having one who knew like Charlie: and I'm the one that needs a job Charlie: 📺💕 Charlie: how are you not at all curious Charlie: get some imagination PLEASE Ronnie: shut up Charlie: So what Charlie: your BROTHER Charlie: with plural other brothers and a sister are gonna show up and you're not gonna do anything about it Charlie: just keep doing what you're doing like it never happened Ronnie: hes my half brother Ronnie: & the others aint gonna do fuck all Ronnie: hes not gonna organise a family reunion Charlie: you get to call the shots Charlie: you're the bastard orphan Ronnie: yeah i do Ronnie: cause i gave him a shot Charlie: excuse me Ronnie: hes in the club now baby Ronnie: & he aint gonna want mommy dearest finding out Charlie: what kind of fucked up genetics do you have Ronnie: you read the file Charlie: yeah Charlie: seeing it in action is something else Ronnie: stop crying he was never gonna fuck you Charlie: piss off Ronnie: suck a dick & get over his Charlie: yeah you read my file Charlie: long time ago Ronnie: yeah Charlie: things change Ronnie: if you want your boner back he studies music Charlie: don't pimp your brother out Ronnie: you saw the bitch he was with Ronnie: he needs us Charlie: does he though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Charlie: I can't believe you dosed him Ronnie: it wasnt like i crept up behind him for fucks sake Charlie: you clearly want him to stick around Ronnie: shut the fuck up charles Ronnie: he begged & he paid Charlie: so you're gonna let him get a taste and leave him high and dry Charlie: we'll see how that works out yeah Ronnie: im not his ma Ronnie: even if he reckons i look like her Ronnie: no cunt nursed me through it Charlie: yeah? Charlie: whoever you are, I ain't dealing when he shows up at the door Ronnie: no fixed address baby Ronnie: thats how it stays Charlie: you leave a pretty big trail in your wake Charlie: incognito you ain't Ronnie: you know where the fucking door is Charlie: my fucking door Charlie: I'm aware Ronnie: you coming out or what bitch Charlie: depends Ronnie: say on what then Charlie: where you are, where you're going Charlie: if your brother is nodding out in the corner Ronnie: [location for where she is] where the fuck do you wanna go dorothy Charlie: the fuck outta Kansas Charlie: all this brother lovin got me feeling queasy Ronnie: so move your arse Ronnie: me & you old school Charlie: how old school you tryna be 😏 Ronnie: how you want it Ronnie: nothings changed Ronnie: fuck that Charlie: 'course Charlie: be there now bitch Ronnie: good boy

[bytheangell]

Alec talking with Catarina about asking to marry Magnus. (I NEED FLUFF AND THIS FRIENDSHIP RN I'M SORRY!!!!)

Same About You(Read on AO3)

When Magnus asks to come over Catarina doesn’t hesitate to agree, cancelling the plans she had with a coworker without a second thought. This isn’t the first time Magnus called her up to talk since leaving the Infirmary and she knows it won’t be the last - with the other warlocks in the city wrapped around Lorenzo’s little finger she knows his options are limited when it comes to friends with an innate understanding of exactly what he’s going through. Because she loves Alec, and Magnus does, too, but there are just parts of this he can’t fully appreciate no matter how hard he tries.

But how hard he’s trying is what helps Magnus the most. Because Alec isn’t giving up on him, even when Magnus snaps at him and tries to push him away. And for Catarina that’s the best thing she could hope for. She’s watched first hand as Alec stood there, taking hit after hit of harsh words without backing down. He’s in this for the long-haul, she can tell.

And so can Magnus.

They’re sitting in her apartment, mid-conversation when Magnus comes out and says it.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with him, Cat. I don’t know how long that might be now, but I want it to be with him.” He seems hesitant to admit it, going back on decades of swearing off love and marriage, and his eyes hold a bit of apprehension as they fall on her waiting for a response.

“So what’s stopping you?” She asks.

“I’m stopping myself. I’m a mess, Cat. I don’t even know why he keeps putting up with me like this… how can I ask him to sign up for a lifetime of watching me wither away, useless?” Magnus sighs, leaning back against the chair.

“You don’t have to. He’s already signed up, Magnus. Anyone with eyes can see that he’s there and he isn’t going anywhere. I’m not saying you have to get hitched tonight or anything. It might be good for things to settle down a bit, but if it’s something you want I don’t think you have to worry about him not wanting it, too.”

Magnus is considering this when Catarina’s phone rings, and she glances down at it with a confused look.

“Work?” Magnus asks, and she shakes her head.

“It’s Alec.” She says, glancing up at him. “Probably for you.”

Magnus shakes his head. “No, I didn’t tell him I was coming here today. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

Catarina’s even more curious now as she answers the call.

“Hello?  – What is it? – Give me a second–”

She mutes the phone and glances over at Magnus with an eyebrow raised. “He wants to know if I can meet him to talk about something? He sounds… weird. But he said it can wait if I’m busy.”

Magnus looks just as interested as she is and shakes his head. “I’m fine. Go see what he wants.”  

Cat hits the button to unmute the call before continuing. “Sure, I’m just wrapping something up but I’ll be over in a few minutes. – Of course. See you soon.”

She hangs up and they both exchange looks of intrigue, with Magnus speaking first. “He’s probably just worried about me still. He’ll probably ask you a million questions about how I’m really doing.”

“And how are you doing?” She prompts.

Just then Magnus’ phone buzzes with a text from Alec- ‘ Don’t forget our appointment with the realtor tomorrow!’ -  and he smiles.

It might be the first full smile she’s seen on him since he collapsed. “I’m moving in with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I think I’m doing alright, all things considered. Now go reassure my darling boyfriend of that, would you?”

—

Except when she knocks on the door of Alec’s office at The Institute he looks up at her with a smile.

“Come in, shut the door behind you,” he says quickly, and she does as he asks. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Of course, Alec. You said it was important… is it about Magnus?”

“It is. Sort of. I mean it’s definitely about him, but it isn’t about his health or anything.” He’s rambling and he seems nervous.

“…alright.” Cat says slowly, not sure where he’s going with this.

“I’m going to propose.” Alec says, coming right out with the words, no build-up, no hesitation. She’s surprised to say the least and it isn’t lost on her that he isn’t asking - he’s telling her. He wants to know what she thinks but he isn’t looking for permission.

“You are?” This, she has to admit, is the last thing she expected to hear from him just then.

“Tonight.”

“Oh, wow,” she breathes out. There are few people who spent any amount of time around the two of them who would doubt that they were headed for marriage one day, but even when Magnus mentioned the idea of spending the rest of his life with Alec only minutes before she didn’t imagine anything would come of it so soon, and least of all from Alec.  

“You think it’s a terrible idea.” He frets, standing from his desk to pace in front of it a little. “Do you think he’s going to say no?”

She could almost laugh at the concern, knowing what she does, but instead her smile softens at the look on Alec’s face.

“Alec, Magnus loves you. I haven’t seen him love anyone this much in a very, very long time. Maybe ever.” At this her expression softens, and Alec’s smile returns. It’s very clear to her that this is the only thing that matters to him. His love for Magnus. Magnus’ love for him in return. And as long as both of them have that to share it’ll be more than enough. “For what it’s worth, I hope he says yes. You’re good for him, and I don’t know many people who would stay by his side as dedicatedly as you are throughout all of this. You both deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Alec stops pacing and relaxes. “Good. Because I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said it was a terrible idea.” Alec beams. “Thank you. Really, it just… it means a lot to hear from you.”

She thinks of him with Madzie, always willing to do whatever it takes to keep her happy and smiling; the way he handled Lorenzo, putting his own feelings aside to do what was best for Magnus even at the sake of his own pride and anger; the way he is here and now, barely able to contain the look of pure adoration in his eyes at the thought of asking Magnus to marry him… Cat thinks of this side of Alec she’s grown to know over the past few months and knows that there is nothing Alec wouldn’t do for Magnus or the people Magnus cares about, herself included.

Alec is already such a huge part of their lives, and she isn’t sure when it happened exactly but she can’t imagine life without him in it now. And soon she won’t have to.

And neither will Magnus.

“So, Lightwood, what’s the plan? Or is that a secret?”

“Well…” Alec starts with a grin. “That’s where I was hoping you’d be able to help me out.”

An hour later and a very specific timing for a very specific portal later, Cat makes herself sparse in time for Magnus to meet Alec back at the Institute for the night, telling him that he was right and Alec just had a few questions about him… which isn’t a total lie, she reasons.

She isn’t even mad at the 3am text that wakes her up from Tokyo: a series of 4 photobooth photos with Alec and magnus, the last of which shows a new ring on Magnus’ finger and both men in tears.  

[nofoodclub]

Kinda pissed w wanted to go with me to blair i could go back but it's cassie behind the bar tonight and that's no fun so instead imma go home alone not eat and it'll be ok right i need to not freak out i can be alone and ok. She showed up by i couldn't get in her car and i really didn't want her back at my house so i willingly parted ways from w which was not what i wanted to do he helps keep me sane and i could really use that right now. People won't always be around so i gotta work at how to enjoy my own company again rather than getting in my own head kinda like rn with the Journaling while waking so i don't hate myself over stupid shit that is inconsequential in the grand scheme of it all at least this is making the walk go fast since i didn't bring my headphones. A little pissed that w took off with her but i would do the same thing if it was t and honestly did try to do just that earlier. I need to accommodatemy own needs to rather than putting everyone else first all the time. I got a lot of shit to work on but i know I'm going to be ok. Fuck my 25 clause i can't do that anymore ive proven i can make it, yeah its hard but the joy i know i can feel alongside this sadness is worth it. Made it home, im kinda scared but go into it with a good intention and i can do it. Fuck i really should write that resume it would make me feel like less of a failure and get me on the right rm track to a job which i desperately need to keep up my manic spending habits like that gd kettle i bought earlier, it was a good price but def didnt need that and was still a chunk of change i don't have free to spend. What would really make a diffrence is if w shows up with my burrito and sends j off so we can commiserate in this world together and share in our love. It's purely platonic at this point but we both have acknowledged our could happen, i really feel like it will at some point but not now. If its gonna happen it'll be good not while we are both in a bad spot. Ok time to go inside this will be ok ill grab my speaker and go chill in the bathroom for a few too give it some good energy talk to you again soon im sure. Thanks for all the help, really, this is very beneficial to me and my processing of the mess of emotion in my brain that i can't make sense of

[highgaarden]

ok so bc I'm all like DON'T GIVE UP THE SUPERPOWERS wrt Caro rn I thought why not request a canon-compliant superhero non-AU for Caro where somewhere down the line she decides to ~use her powers for good~ and do the vigilante thing, mask and everything (no stupid impractical costume tho). Extra points if she and Bonnie form a whole Witch/Vampire superhero team. Klaus can read abt it in the paper and figure out it's Caro+Bonnie and be amused and be into it. ♥♥♥

i tried my best. also, i have no clue what’s going on in the originals, but from scraps i get an a very helpful explanation from my friend anne, i sort of got the gist of it, tried to work more of the plot into this, and then decided to just… not. much apologies, please be kind to my v. confused self should you decide to leave a review.

12:51;

or: a superheroes origin story in five parts. 

Klaus/Caroline, Bonnie/Damon | wc. 3705 | ch. 1/5

read on: AO3 / ff.net

.

.

—

PartOne

InWhich Everybody’s Week Must Have Been Pretty Rough

—

 .

.

The weekend after Klaus escaped from his wall, he sat down in his studywith three bottles of liquor and double that amount of fresh blood, a steakcooked medium rare, and five years’ worth of newspapers to catch up with theworld.

Freya regarded him curiously. “You could have done away with the mess.We just ordered those new tablets.”

Rebekah was much ruder about the piles he left. She was probably stillmad she had had to miss four seasons of Supernaturalin order to save his skin.

Klaus didn’t answer them. He continued skimming the pages with aprevailing interest, rubbing ink and paper between his fingers. He soon foundthat he hadn’t missed much in his Marcel-imposed exile; that the mundanities oflife had persevered through the years.

His thoughts started to wonder when he was three-years deep into hiscatching up. Nothing caught his eye, and he was starting to feel the gratitudeof being able to sit in a comfortable armchair as opposed to being shackled toa floor dusted with rubble chip away.

Until he saw it.

He read the little opinion piece, then read it again, and a third timefor good measure.

And then he called Damon Salvatore.

—

At that point, not even Damon knew of their little hijinks despite havingmoved himself into their apartment. He used the pretence of “keeping an eye onthem” to make it past the front door. The living room became his sanctum santorum, and the couch he tookrefuge in constantly smelled like booze and Doritos.

Caroline was not happy with this arrangement, and made sure to be veryvocal about it every chance she got.

Sometimes it ranged from loud, to shrill, towake-your-neighbours-up-at-3am-because-Damon-you-fuck-you-left-your-underwear-in-my-laundry-basket piercing.

Tonight, Damon had the apartment to himself, and was glad for the peaceand quiet. Caroline was out on a date, and Bonnie was at the library borrowinga book. She was always at the library borrowing books, and he liked tellingpeople how bookish she was in a tone that was both patronizing and fond. It hadtaken some time, but he had finally perfected it.

In the middle of his Grey’sAnatomy rerun (“Denny? You chosea dying sack of meat over Alex? Really,Izzie?” he yelled at the tv), his phone rang.

It was Klaus. He hadn’t heard from the fucker in more than a decade, andwas immediately suspicious.

“City Morgue,” he answered cautiously.

“Just to be clear, you’re still second best,” came the familiar gout ofKlaus’s voice. “I only called you because Stefan’s number seems to not beworking, mate.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s not,” Damon said. “How do you still have mine?”

“If I wanted idle chit chat I would’ve resurrected Finn again.”

Damon muted the tv and got to his feet. “And yet here you are, makingidle chit chat.”

“I merely called to enquire about Caroline and Bonnie’s wellbeing.”

“They’re fine,” Damon said shortly.

“You best make sure they’re getting adequate rest for all thecrime-fighting they’re doing,” Klaus said, and killed the line.

Damon spat out his bourbon.

That’s how it all started, really.

—

Caroline was having a crummy night. The sole of her shoe had torn awayas she was chasing her assailant across the rooftops of Midtown, and it nowflapped with every step she took, and slowed her down considerably.

“I’m gonna get you, Raul!” she yelled, to make up for how she was losinghim, fast. “Your album sucked!”

Raul the Eurovision Vampire came to a screeching halt. He was screechingquite literally, because of all the insults Caroline had hurled at him in thepast week of stalking him, this one hurt the most.

“And your win last year?” Caroline continued as she hauled herself overa crumbling ledge. “Total pandering.”

Raul hissed and bared his fangs. “You know nothing of talent, sillygirl. If you did you wouldn’t be spending your nights in cowardice, hiding yourface with a gaudy mask. A poor man’s Catwoman.”

Caroline bristled, because it had taken her and Bonnie splurging on asewing course in Uptown to get their stitching just right.

“And you would’ve gotten more than a deal sponsoring mattresses afteryou won Eurovision,” she retorted, and Raul actually looked pained.

Actual, legit pain.

Caroline sighed. “Look, I’ll cut you a deal. See this stake here? Iwon’t stick it in your heart if you meet my conditions.”

Raul warily eyed the stake she was twirling between her fingers.Normally he would have told her to kiss his ass, but he was cornered, and hedidn’t fancy becoming a splat on the sidewalk.

That, and he was afraid of heights.

“And the conditions are?” he asked finally.

Caroline took a moment to rip the failing sole completely off her shoe.It came off with one clean pull, and when she looked up Raul was still there,which meant there was still hope for a redemption arc for him.

She gave him a winsome smile. “Do you have a pen?”

—

Bonnie slid in through her bedroom window, heady with glory. She hadgotten better at sneaking in and out at odd hours, but evidently not by much,since she managed to wake Damon up.

This was because he was in her bed when she threw herself on it.

“Damon, what the hell?”

Damon awoke with a snort. “A-ha! Proofof your foolhardy life choices!”

Bonnie rolled her eyes and unhooked her cape. She made a mental note to passCaroline twenty dollars. “Took you long enough to realize.”

“I am living with hoodwinks.”Damon pouted. “How could you not have let me in on this secret?”

“Damon, you helped me with laundry last week. You literally foldedpieces of my costume. It had my alter ego name on stitched across the front.”She swung her feet and walked to the paper partition by her dresser, where shewiggled out of her outfit safe from Damon’s prying eyes into a worn Whitmoresweater and blue shorts with lightning patterns on them.

“Are those anti-aging potions you’re brewing finally screwin’ with yourhead?” Damon was still on a roll. “You know how I had to find out? Klaus!”

“Klaus is alive?” Bonnie asked.

“Yes, and even in his state of barely living he ousted you and BlondeDistraction’s sly night crime-kicking.”

Bonnie started to respond, but then got sidetracked. “Blonde Distraction?”

“Uh – yeah.” He fiddled with his phone. “Blonde Distraction and FeistyFire.”

“That is fucking terrible,” Bonnie said mildly. “And not even ournames.”

“That’s what I call you in my blog, which I only update when I’m drunk. I’vebeen following you for years. Checkout the threads!” Damon waved his phone in her face.

“Are you drunk right now?” she asked.

“Yes,” Damon said sulkily, “but only half-stupid. You were never at thelibrary, were you?”

“Well, you were really sweet about it—”

“And you kept missing all those scrabble/pizza nights!” Damon howledinto his hands, betrayal gutting him like a fish.

“Damon,” Bonnie narrowed her eyes. “I’m tired. “The next time you spendthe night in my bed, I’m burning your brains out.”

“Reduced to being treated as one of your petty criminals,” Damonsniffed. “So be it. Our friendship always had an expiry date, huh?”

Damon slinked out of her room. Bonnie considered calling after him, butfigured she’d reason in the morning. For now, she had a huge bruise in her sideto nurse, and sleep was calling.

—

It started with scaring off new vampires from innocent clubgoers, andthen keeping the pasty creep-o’s who lived in the apartment adjacent to theirsin line when bodies started piling up in their shared dumpster.

Caroline hadn’t blown all her cash for an apartment in New York just forit to be crawling with the diseased, depravity and blood, so she took it uponherself to clean it up. An act of charity, if you will.

At night, she donned a mask and put on sensible boots. No stupidimpractical spandex for her, nor did she for a minute entertain midriff-baringleather, no matter how hot she might have looked.

Sipping from her thermos of warmed AB, she kneeled by stone gargoylesand prowled through the night. Afterwards she would either jump from rooftop torooftop, or practice her parkour, feeling invincible and (not gonna lie) reallyfucking cool.

At around 1am she got the read from Bonnie (in other words, Bonnietexted her in their coded-emoji) that their target for the night had arrived.

From five stories above she followed the sound of his footsteps throughthe alleyway, waiting to catch a heartbeat. When none came, she knew that hewas the one. His steps faltered when he heard a noise behind him. Caroline tookthe opportunity to jump down on him.

“Hello,” she smiled sweetly, when he was thrashing and spittingunderneath her. She was sitting on his back, which couldn’t be comfortable.

“Killing. Maiming. Money-laundering.” Bonnie came slowly from the mouthof the alleyway, her cape flowing behind her. “That last one’s kind of random,but the other shit we have on you—yikes.”

Caroline gathered his hair in her gloved hands and yanked hard. Thevampire cried out, enraged, but didn’t look away from her piercing gaze.

“You’ve got a locker full of civilians waiting like lambs forslaughter,” she said slowly, so he might not miss the threat in her voice.“Tell us where they are and you get to live.”

“I’m gonna have to call your bluff,” he rasped. “I’ve cut a pretty gooddeal, and ain’t no stinkin’ blonde and her twitchy sidekick are gonna stop me.”

Bonnie’s face darkened.

“Oooh,” Caroline whistled. “Bad choice of words there, bud. She’s not mysidekick. We’re partners. I kick ass, she takes names. Sometimes I take names,and she kicks ass. Though ‘kick’ might not be the right verb here…”

“I prefer not having to touch you scum,” Bonnie said, and from herfingers erupted flames.

Caroline smiled, eyes shining brightly in the fear that Bonnie hadincited into the now-still vampire.

“What are vampires most afraid of?” Caroline whispered into his fear.

“Werewolf venom.”

Caroline clicks her tongue. “No, the other thing.”

The vampire, cold sweat on his forehead, hesitated. ‘Uh—stakes?”

Caroline knuckled the base of his skull. “Fire, you moron. She’s waving it right in your face!”

It didn’t help that he passed out immediately.

Bonnie sighed and dropped her hands. The alley dimmed once again. “Canwe talk about this whole intimidation tactic thing?”

Caroline refused to look her in the eye.

—

It took about twenty minutes for him to come to, by which time Carolinehad gotten bored of sitting on his back and had decided to chain him to thedumpster instead.

After they heckled and tortured the information out of him, Carolinepulled out the usual contract – stating that no further harm would come to himfrom their hands if he got the hell out of the city and signed along the dottedline – when he started monologueing and posturing in a way that was really, really familiar.

Caroline pulled the pen away from his trembling grasp for it. Shesquinted in the dark alley, trying to make out his eyes.

“Caroline?” Bonnie asked, but Caroline barely heard.

The vampire was still monologueing, and Caroline felt a rising anger.She knew a compelled gaze anywhere.

“Damn it, Bon.”

Her fist swung out of her own accord, knocking the vampire out cold.There was a satisfying crack accompanying the slump of his neck, and Carolinedusted her hands off.

Bonnie eyed his body with distaste. “Harsh, Care. Don’t you usually waitfor them to sign the contract first?”

—

True to his word, Damon had indeed started a blog following the accountsof Blonde Distraction and Feisty Fire (not their actual names, but given thefact that he only ever blogged when he was drunk, he never bothered to learntheir real names) and their vigilante crime-fighting on his blog, WatchOutVillainz.com.

It was a smorgasbord of garish colour, Comic Sans, and badly-wordedheadings.

Klaus would never admit it, but he loved reading it.

He followed it with the same tenacity Caroline had for new episodes ofThe Bachelor, and one night even set up a username for himself to partake inthe lengthy discussions over who Blonde Distraction and Feisty Fire might be.

His username was entirely anonymous, and he enjoyed having a persona toparade as he took down trolls and ventured the tags, verbally maiming anyoneand everyone who dared speak ill of Blonde Distraction or Feisty Fire.

Granted, he didn’t care much for the witch, but thought that Carolinewould like it if he were to stand up for her too, so he did.

Damon showed up at his hotel room one night sullen-faced. “Get off mywebsite.”

“Make me,” Klaus said, typing progressively faster on his keyboard.

Damon failed to make him, and returned home, turning all his loyalfollowers on one hybrid_master_127. Unfortunately, Klaus seemed to have accrueda cluster of minions of his own in his short time of perusingWatchOutVillainz.com, and they threatened to hack into the mainframe of one ofhis life’s most precious work.

Damon, having limited knowledge of IT, highly doubted the existence of amainframe and whether or not it could be hacked.

In the end decided to play it safe, and Klaus stayed.

—

The way Caroline figured out it was Klaus who had been sending thugvamps her way was almost as fast as him discovering their true identities asthe Vigilantes of the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.

A week after Damon had almost thrashed his hotel room, Klaus opens thedoor to his magnificently ransacked quarters. Caroline was sitting on whatappeared to be the cracked granite of his bathtub, in his living room, with herlegs crossed. She was still in her mask and boots.

“What is wrong with you?” sheyelled. “Why can’t you pick up the phone and call like a normal person?”

“That would have ruined the fun,” Klaus replied. “Besides, would youhave answered?”

Caroline hesitated.

“I thought so.”

“You never answered any of mycalls.”

“I was chained up in a wall, love.”

Caroline considered this. “Hm.”

Klaus picked his way towards her, straightening lamps as he went. Minutegoosefeathers floated about his shoulders; the pillows had all been spearedonto the ceiling fan like kebabs. “It was all too easy to suss out it was you.”

Caroline refused to bite. Instead, she stayed silent, watching him comecloser and closer.

“You offered them redemption instead of gutting them alive, in documentform to boot.” Klaus sounded reproachful and he righted an upset table to hidehis exasperation. “Furthermore, Bonnie made no secret of her pyromanicabilities. She was always very artful with that certain power of hers.”

“You compelled yourself a massacre just to draw me out,” she hissed. “Ihappen to take my craft very seriously—”

“I know, love. I’m not laughing.” And indeed he wasn’t. In fact, he sortof admired the spirit in which she undertook her task. In all honesty, he believedthis to be a phase—it took him a while to process the fact that she’d chosen tospend her eternity (or at least, a significant early part of it) doing this.

“So why are you here?” Caroline asked.

“Because.” He paused. Why was hehere? Papa Tunde’s torment had left him withered and raw; Hayley and Freya hadgone to the ends of the earth to release him and when he’d woken up Hope waswell in her teen years. Despite the world staying to same, too much of what hecared about had changed. He needed—he needed to make sure, needed to see forhimself, how she was.

Perhaps she was right. A phone call would have worked better.

“I wanted to offer my services,” is what he decided on at last.

Caroline snorted so loud he thought it was a piece of his ceiling fallingon them.

—

“I know all the criminals in this city,” he insisted, dogging her downthe street. Caroline walked remarkably fast in the night. She had left her maskin the debris of his room, stating she had ‘plenty more’.

“I’d rather go to vampire jail,” she told him sedately.

“Ah, that rather poorly masked vampire rehab you set up,” he said,falling into step with her. “The Elizabeth-Bill Institute for the MorallyBankrupt. I was just short of amused as to what an easy target you madeyourself.”

“And yet the only person who managed to figure it all out was you,” shesaid.

“Well—Kol did, too. We were playing crime-bingo with your exploits.”Klaus grinned. “I was one money-launder away from a win, so I decided to pullthings to my favour.”

“I’ll wall you in myself,” she seethed.

“Oh, where will you possibly find the time in between all thiscrime-fighting?”

Caroline whipped around, fangs bared. “Leave me alone, Klaus.”

“How are the twins?” he asked gently.

“None of your business.”

“They should be around Hope’s age, shouldn’t they?”

“Stop talking about them.”

Caroline took a detour through an alleyway, and with more agility thanKlaus expected, climbed her way up the side of a building, all to get away fromhim.

Klaus weighed his options, then hefted himself up after her.

He found her sitting on a rooftop edge, the city pulsating beneath them.He sat down beside her and was surprised when she offered him a thermos ofblood. It was still warm.

“Where were you keeping that?” he asked admiringly, studying her outfit.

She sent him a look that could kill, and went back to countingheadlights. “Please don’t tell anyone,” she said quietly, after a while.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said. He cleared his throat and glanced ather. “When did it start?”

Caroline shuts her eyes. “A few years ago. Josie and Lizzie were growingup pretty fast. Alaric—he, well. Didn’t want me to have…” she gestured vaguely,“words were exchanged. I decided that if I could do my part to help in anyother way, I’d do it.”

“You’ll soon be bored with the futility of it, I imagine.”

“I’ve got an end goal in mind,” she said absently.

After a fashion he realized she had stopped counting headlights and wasfocused on a window in the building across the cobweb of streets. Two girls,remarkably alike, were pulling the curtains closed for the night.

“They’re nocturnal creatures,” he said softly. “If I could venture a guess,just like their mother.”

Caroline didn’t answer. Instead, she rested her head on his shoulder. Hestiffened in surprise, but she didn’t comment on it, neither did she move away.“Next time, just call. You can’t base my reactions on the girl you knew tenyears ago.”

“Some things will always remain singular,” he said. He wasn’t speakingabout her. She hoped she saw it in the look he was giving her.

Caroline pulled away slowly. For a long time, she only looked at him.Klaus took a chance and reached for her hand, after which she tangled herfingers in his. They stayed that way for only a short moment, but the feelingof her palm, soft in his, lingered long after she’d slid her thermos back intoits hiding place on her body and left.

—

Damon had taken to fixing them breakfast in the wee hours of the morningwhen they finally returned. He reasoned that it was the least he could do, whatwith all the slander he keeps slinging their way on his website.

“To blindside the scrutinizing eyes of the public!” he insisted,flipping pancakes.

However, when Caroline returned home with an extra guest, his spatulafell onto the island with a smack.

“I refuse to feed him,” he told Bonnie. So offended was he that Carolinehad brought Klaus home that he refused to speak to Caroline too. Looking rightthrough them, he pointed out, “And I only made pancakes for three.”

Damon gestured angrily at the table, where three immaculate plates piledhigh with pancakes and cream had been set.

Klaus scowled. “But there’s four more, burning, by the way, on theskillet.” He tried not to sound too indignant.

“You kidding me? These are all for Bonnie!”

As the two immortal beings squabbled, Caroline speared a triangle ofpancake with her fork. Bonnie sipped her glass of orange juice. It felt strangefor the apartment to be so full, especially with the presence of Damon’s entireliquor cabinet dotting every corner.

Klaus finally wrestled himself a seat next to Caroline, but not beforeflicking off Damon’s shirt that had been slung over the back of the chair with dispassion.

“That’s it! I’m done! You can make breakfast yourselves from now on!” Damon yanked off his apron and was gonewith a huff.

“Does this happen a lot?” Klaus enquired, sniffing around a piece ofbacon.

“More times than you can imagine,” Bonnie said.

—

In the coming days, Klaus visited more often. His hotel room had beenproperly demolished, he took to reminding Caroline, who sighed and held out atowel for him to use her shower.

Bonnie delighted in the fact that she now has leverage against having abroody roommate/parasite, seeing as Caroline had one of her own now, too.

Damon continued to be miserable.

Klaus continued to goad them with his offer.

Caroline and Bonnie continued their crime-fighting.

“Let’s not make this routine,” Bonnie told Caroline as she garrotted avampire who had been hell-bent on chowing down on a family of four. “By nextweek we kick them out.”

“You got it, Bon,” Caroline said, waving the contract in the chokingvampire’s face. “We’re burning the couch. And can we finally talk about that cape of yours?”

Bonnie rolled her eyes, but nodded her agreement as the vampire veryreluctantly signed her name along the dotted line.

—

tbc

9B��`

[punkscowardschampions]

Junior & Nancy

Junior: What are you gonna do? Nancy: I've never had less of an idea Nancy: What can I do? Junior: I wish I knew for you Junior: But no, I don't Junior: By the time I worked it out, I knew it was too late but maybe if I'd said something to you, we could've avoided it playing out like this Junior: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologise to me, please, I can't start sobbing outside of this office Nancy: You've done nothing wrong. It's me who messed everything up Junior: I'm sorry, no wait, scrap that Junior: You can't help what you felt Junior: You're not the first person to get a crush, everyone's just acting like it for the drama of the thing Nancy: But I chose to act on it Nancy: You didn't see her face. It was... Nancy: I've got no words for it Junior: Oh, Nance Junior: There's no other way she could react, or would've Junior: I'm not judging but how did you get this caught up? Its not like you Nancy: I thought she wanted me to. Genuinely I'm not just making an excuse Nancy: We had a connection. The way we'd talk, I didn't imagine that, I can't have Junior: At best though, that could never be more than friendship, she's a married teacher, a straight one Junior: not to go over it now, you know Junior: What a mess Junior: Tristan is being Junior: its bad Nancy: He has a right to Nancy: I'm so stupid, oh my god Nancy: They couldn't hold of mum or dad yet but when they do... Junior: Yeah but, he's trying to make it something it ain't, get the anger but I wish he'd keep the gay hate to a minimum Junior: Oh God, babe Junior: how mortifying Junior: I'll find a hole to bury you in Nancy: Thanks Nancy: I've literally become a lesbian stereotype. The predatory one Nancy: If my brother ever finds out I'm gonna have to get you to bury him too Junior: We're doing our best to keep it on the DL, strictest of confidence Junior: but if your rents talk to mine, he'll suddenly take an interest no doubt, eurgh Junior: You weren't being predatory, at least, that's now how you meant it Junior: and she's in the position of power so she always had the upper hand to push you away Junior: which, I guess, she did in the end Junior: would've been helpful if she'd have clued up before now but we can't blame her Nancy: I'm gonna have to move back, aren't I? How can I stay here. I can't Nancy: I love her and I've done this to her Nancy: What if she loses her job because of me? I might have wanted him to leave her, or vice versa, but I never wanted that Junior: Not necessarily Junior: She won't Junior: Not to rub salt in an open wound but its very clear it came from you and not her Junior: Its not going to come to that Junior: There's only this year left, we can stick it out together, I've got you Junior: anyway, rumours follow, don't they? Idk how but that's the magic of teens, better if you face it head on Junior: own it in the ways you can Nancy: You make everything sound so straightforward, no play on words meant Nancy: I should have told you everything Junior: I get why you didn't Junior: it got to be real when it was just in your head Junior: wow, sounds harsh but, yeah? Nancy: I'm gonna hear much worse Nancy: At least you're coming for a good place Junior: We need to decide on your side of the story, so we can stick to it Nancy: What's the point? Everyone already knows what happened Junior: Yeah, there's definitely the key facts you're not gonna be able to run from Junior: but its all about how you sell it Nancy: What are you saying I should do? I can't throw her under the bus Junior: No, of course not Junior: I'm not explaining it well 'cos I can't do it myself Junior: but you know, the old, hold your head up high regardless of how you're really feeling Junior: acting as if you're not as phased as you are, too, not lying about what happened, just acting as like its less of a thing so people will get bored, you know? Nancy: Have you met my mum? Holding my head up high won't be a problem Nancy: Casually trained at it Junior: Yeah, no, good Junior: I know its gonna be hard Junior: but it will help this all be over sooner Nancy: That'd be nice Nancy: It's new for the rumor mill but not me Junior: How long? Nancy: Since I came here, pretty much Junior: Oh, honey Junior: That's such a long time to have those kind of feelings Nancy: I know Nancy: How did I get here? Junior: I dunno Junior: We all build things up in our minds, fantasies and that Junior: it just got out of hand because it was uncheck Junior: like I said, you're not the first or last Junior: Its okay, it will be alright Nancy: You're only saying that to make me feel better, I get that, but it's kind of working anyway Junior: I'm honestly not Junior: You know what went down wasn't cool but I think the outcome is more than enough punishment without me needing to be a dick about it Nancy: but I wouldn't blame you if you were Nancy: You asked me so many times who I fancied, if I'd just said, it would have stopped it, I would have come to my senses enough not to try and kiss her Junior: But you wanted to Junior: more than you wanted to be logical and sensible Junior: for better, or worse, as its transpired Junior: its easy to beat yourself up about it now Nancy: I should've beat myself up before hand Nancy: Repeatedly over the head Junior: I'll get you a time-turner and a mallet, like Nancy: Much appreciated Nancy: Can you arrange a bodyguard too, for Rio more than Tristan tbh Nancy: She's gonna be livid Junior: Not with you Junior: She'll get it better than me, she's had her fair share of crushes, I'm sure Nancy: Have you really not? Nancy: Envy you at this point Junior: Nope Junior: I'm like a sexless slug Nancy: They have a nicer label for that, to let you know Junior: Yeah, I'm not into that Junior: Never say never, you know Nancy: Unlike you have my judgement Nancy: Unless* Nancy: Never say never with your straight, married, teacher Junior: When is it okay to laugh cos like Nancy: Go ahead Nancy: We have to Nancy: I can't cry rn and still face everyone Nancy: I'm not THAT good at holding my head high Junior: are you gonna take some time off or just Junior: face it from the jump Nancy: I think if I walk away it'll just make it harder to come back Nancy: If I'm staying here then I need to carry on Junior: Agreed, from that POV, definitely the best thing to do Junior: but don't force yourself to do things you can't Junior: we can go cry in the toilets whenever you need, okay? Nancy: Have a gorgeous mascara moment Nancy: Maybe my mum will force on a flight back to London Junior: Maybe Junior: Or roll up on you here Junior: such fun Nancy: Oh god, she probably will Nancy: I know I brought it on myself but....please no Nancy: Parent swap with me really quick? Junior: They'd despair but give it my best Junior: At least your Dad is going to be too awkward to say anything Junior: Small blessing Nancy: I wish that was a like father like son trait Junior: Thank god for the mute button Junior: shame it doesn't cover all communications, including IRL Nancy: Honestly Nancy: If I thought I hated Irish class before Junior: Yeah, no escaping how bad that's gonna be Junior: 😬 Nancy: If I pretend I've had a straight awakening now will that make it better or worse Nancy: She turned me everybody, nothing to see here Junior: I think it'll take you from the butt of the gay jokes to the butt of the slag ones Junior: which might be easier to handle but Junior: might have to display some straightness and we're not a convincing couple to say the least Nancy: Plus you're my cousin Nancy: That'd just create more rumors Junior: Yeah preferably you're going straight for someone not in the fam Junior: Idk, who are the most elligible bachelors around Junior: Hmm Nancy: Tristan's off the table Nancy: Lovehate only happens in YA Junior: Plus, all that rage, probably closeted himself, if we're following the rules of YA to the letter Nancy: And if we're going classical, he probably wants to sleep with his mum too Junior: 🤢 Junior: oh no Junior: flip the script on 'em, go for a younger boy Junior: preferably not weird young, like year below tops Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Boys are so Nancy: Even hypothetically it's a no Junior: 😂 Junior: I don't think you're gonna be pulling this off effectively any time soon Nancy: You're right. Back to the drawing board I go Nancy: Thanks, June, for talking me off the ledge Junior: Wouldn't be worth much as a bestie if I didn't Junior: we've got this Junior: it only FEELS like the end of the world Junior: that's comforting, right? 😏 Nancy: Until I think about how bad you said Tristan is handling what happened Junior: Yeah, well, reckon Rio will be having words Junior: he just needs to get it out of his system Junior: look sufficiently sorry and miserable and he should be satisfied, then you can get on with your life, like Nancy: I do feel sorry and miserable so as long as I can get it across instead of looking like a unrepentant bitch Nancy: We'll see Junior: Yeah Junior: he's not awful, like Junior: It probably sucks having teacher parents, but that ain't a reason to take out years of frustration on this sitch Nancy: He can't be that bad, she raised him Junior: Oh, babe Junior: you've got it so bad Nancy: I wish there was a mute button for feelings Junior: You've got to start putting in the work Junior: Conscious uncoupling Nancy: That'll be as much fun as having the chat with my parents Junior: I didn't promise fun Junior: Strictly business Nancy: This is why lesbians die at the end of every movie, isn't it? Nancy: No fun Junior: Mhmm, its not just bed death you've gotta avoid Junior: its alright, you've been scorned, that'll further your plot development, no need to die today Nancy: Just living with the heartbreak then. Fantastic Junior: Unfortunately Junior: Its survivable, so I'm told Junior: and there's lots of songs and films on the subject to keep you company Nancy: You're angling for a hetero rom-com watching session because the male leads are always hot. I see you Junior: You need some straight drama in your life Junior: it will make you feel so much better about your own Nancy: Her being straight was a big part of my drama Junior: Yes and no Junior: Even if she was gay, Nance, it wouldn't have happened, alright? Junior: You need to remember that Junior: what if you have a nice lesbian lecturer at Uni, you don't wanna go through this again, thinking it'll be different Junior: its a no go whatever the circumstances Nancy: I know Nancy: I'm trying Nancy: I don't want to go through this again Junior: I know Junior: Its a complete perspective overhaul Junior: It'll take time Junior: you'll get there Nancy: I better Nancy: I don't wanna be stuck here in this place Junior: You won't be Junior: You've got a whole life of new, better experiences waiting Nancy: Brain swap? If I was as smart as you I could graduate early Junior: You're plenty smart, its truly not that far off now Junior: Final stretch Nancy: You're right. It just feels like forever rn Nancy: My own fault Junior: It does though Junior: clock watching all day every day Nancy: Definitely Nancy: Same