#my mcu thoughts

[lavilavlove]

see you in court, buddy

Alt + og pic:

[gazpachito]

Superhero Training (+ Bonus)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[jimmyunsolved]

movie nightttt

[smoky-moka]

Loki intermission

[godsplatter]

soldat

[fizz-pop-thwip]

I struggle thinking about non consensual human experimentation as a whole, but what happened to Bucky really it does just make me sick.

To start, think of how his stomach dropped when he fell from the train, the fucking fear knowing you're dead. You have 2 seconds and then your dead, this is it.

Then you wake up to 1) being alive, horrifically unaware of the 70 years of hell ahead of you and 2) your arm being not only surgically removed but replaced with a metal arm, a foreign body, a parasite. You fight because what else are you ment to do? But you fall unconscious again.

You wake up to days and days of torment and torture and slowly loose hope that it will ever end, that you'll ever be saved. He didn't know that Steve was dead, how long did he yearn for Steve to find him? How mad did he get? Did he punch the wall, did he scream? Did they have to sedate him because of just how psychotic that made him? How fucking manic he would go?

How long till he lost all feeling, all emotion and hope?

When they started putting him in the chair, did he scream and cry? Did he beg for anything else? Any thing, anything, fucking anything. Did he beg for death? Did he feel himself slowly lose all of his memory, did he sob when he first couldn't picture Steve's face, or when he could remember the most important person in the world, but not a name or a background or a face, not a crumb.

The first time he's put in cryo freeze, does he remember his reflection? Seconds before he fell unconscious, never knowing how long it would be before he woke up again. Did he wake up, begging to just be put back in, the closest fate to death he could ever achieve? The closest thing to mercy? Does he catch himself falling asleep at night and wake up in tears, not even sure if it's been 20 minutes of 20 years.

Did his crys for help fall on the shiney leather shoes of scientists who showed no emotion, did he question if he was even human to begin with? Surely a human would be treated with even a fraction of care. No one treated like this was born from a mother, no one treated like this was ever looked at with maternal love.

He stopped feeling like a person, he didn't even remember he was a person. When things seeped though it just hurt, they hurt him, it made it worse. So he stopped it, he wouldn't let himself. It was impossible to live. He had no coping mechanisms, no outlet, he would show any signs of struggle and be hurt for showing humanity. He had to be what they wanted.

Even after he was broken in, no crying anymore. No begging for mercy. Did he spend his nights awake, just TRYING to remember what he forgot, FEELING the missing spots in his mind? Did he hold that metal arm close because he can't even remember how he got it anymore, all he knows is it makes his shoulders ache.

He was completely and utterly trapped, the more he suppressed, even the minor shards he remembered, the more mania he would experience.

Even once he's free, how do you come back from that, even if it was just a mental thing, the physical, real DAMAGE to his brain was enough to make him never heal again. Bucky is a walking fucking miracle and maybe THE survivor.

He is going to have memory problems, severly. He is going to have intense PTSD flashbacks, total hallucination level, breakdowns. Seriously, this level of trauma is NEVER leaving him, not fully. Phantom pains, endless nightmares, coping mechanisms that don't make sense but comfort him none the less.

He's going to have periods of times where he can't even stand being touched, not Steve, not anyone. Weeks where he can't shower or move out of a space his brain has deemed safe for fear of being hurt. Scratches at the seam between his flesh and the metal of arm, wanting it off, wanting it away from him. Again does it necessarily make sense logically? NO!! but does he feel it 100%? Yes!!

He gets better, his bad periods get less intense, more far in between but they never fully go away. As fuckimg depressing as it is, hydra made a permanent mark on his psyche. It's FUCKED.

Gods strongest soldier is Bucky Barnes.

[swarnim29]

Omg no

[avidplutofan]

karen losing another brother (foggy) and running away in the aftermath bc her father didn’t want her around and bc matt never called, she assumed he didn’t want her around either

[my-secret-shame]

[thevibraniumveterans]

I have THOUGHTS about… ahem… the “Thunderbolts*”…

SPOILER ALERT!!!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT…

LAST WARNING!

I’ve just watched the film this evening and I have so many thoughts off the top of my head and in no particular order

Valentina, you SCHEMING little shit, I KNEW something was up! That was insane.

Movie was big on mental health, for sure.

I previously thought we’d see Bucky going up against himself, but I was wrong; why would he ever need to do that? The MCU was his process and we’ve been watching him absolutely go through it.

And speaking of going through it, Bob and his room reminded me of Moon Knight, what with the abusive parents and whatnot, him being in the safest room he can be in, surrounded by toys.

And speaking of rooms. Yelena’s scenes around the Red Room situations, oof, that must’ve been really hard on her, that she could not change anything, that it would keep happening.

The whole you-don’t-have-to-do-this-alone aspect of the film was so well made, and that one scene near the end, the group hug, heartwarming. Very emotional scene. Loved it.

Very nearly upstaged by the previous scenes where Bucky, Walker, Ava, Yelena, and Alexei stopped that stone slab from hitting the ground, saving civilians

Alexei was hilarious throughout the whole movie, awesome at that

HOLY SHIT THE NEW AVENGERS??? I’ll get back to that in a bit but OMG.

The thing about Bob punching his own dark reflection and almost becoming what he feared the most was just… so so well done, that even when he was being mocked, he found the strength to get up and fight back, inspiring the others to get up and fight back too, and fight back together

Taskmaster? Yeah, we knew she was toast within the first 20 minutes but not how, now we know that Val had sent Taskmaster to kill Walker to kill Yelena to kill Ghost

That was one hell of an introduction though

And speaking of introductions, I gotta say something about the post-credits scene. First off, those new outfits are really cool; Walker getting a beret?? BUCKY GETTING A NEW OUTFIT AND A STAR OVER HIS RIGHT ARM?? I love that it’s navy blue now. AND THE FANTASTIC FOUR SHIP?? We know F4 is right around the corner this summer; I’m guessing that in the mid- and/or post-credits scene(s) of that movie we’ll have the F4 interact with the New Avengers before DOOMSDAY

And speaking of the New Avengers! That was Val’s whole setup! She had to get all shady and morally grey and villainy-like, trying to get her potential Avengers members to kill each other in some kind of wretched test to see how’d they fare against each other.

And oh right, BUCKY SAID SAM ISN’T HAPPY about the New Avengers; remember in CABNW Sam said that Ross told him to form a new team? What kind of beef is Val having with whoever is the president now? I mean it’s not like Bucky put together a team, it was just convenient that four of them were in the same car. But think about it, in the Doomsday lineup video, Anthony Mackie was third and Sebastian fourth, so the fact that they’re really high up on the roster and right next to each other tells me that Sam may be mad an Avengers team has been formed and there was nothing he could do about it

And like, it’s 2027 in the MCU now, right? The movie ends like 14 months later so now it’s freakin’ 2028 in the MCU now.

Bob is a cool person, I think, Sentry was the midpoint between Bob and the Void, and Bob doesn’t want to become the Sentry due to how he’d also become the Void - this avoidance is kinda like how Banner didn’t want to become Hulk but then reconciled. I like Bob’s dynamic with Yelena.

The whole metaphor of walking into the void is like choosing to confront your shame, your darkness, the things you think you don’t deserve sympathy for, but then again the whole point of Yelena, Bucky, Walker, and Ava coming together to group hug Bob was just so good.

It’s hilarious that Val didn’t just go “I’m putting together a team”, she went “Imma send these misfits to kill each other, send my latest project to kill them, ALL IN THE GUISE OF HOPING THEY ALL TEAM THE EFF UP but I can’t tell anyone that until the events I put into motion cause them to save the city and become the heroes I always knew they were” and honestly? What the hell, Valentina?! 🤣 You played them, you played us, well effing done, loved it, 15/10 no notes.

Bucky with the good hair! 🤩

Oh and the mid-credits artwork referencing famous historical promo, the Yelena “We can do it” poster referencing the WWII Rosie the Riveter propaganda, the team shot referencing the “Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima” photo

And part of the artwork also being in-universe headlines of people not exactly loving the New Avengers

And the classic Avengers theme song as the undercurrent for the main theme of this movie!

I may have other points but I’ll save them for later, I think??

[xxplastic-cubexx]

alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore

[jimmyunsolved]

bob

[sugarskies]

shit, he's cute

summary: bob falls asleep on john. john has a crisis. word count: 1,094

The thing about Bob was that he could fall asleep anywhere.

As in, anywhere.

It did make sense if one stopped to think about it. By his own admission, Bob had been homeless for most of his adult life. Sometimes that meant couch surfing, sometimes it meant sleeping on the one park bench that didn’t have rails on it. He learned to settle in wherever he needed to.

Where all he slept wasn’t something John necessarily thought of until that night. Sure, he’d seen Bob passed out on the balcony, at the kitchen counter, even on the bench in the training room, but he never thought twice about it.

Not until that night when he had to add to the list: John Walker’s chest.

There were a lot of explanations for it that had nothing to do with John. Firstly, it took Bob several minutes to actually slide down that far. When he first started dozing off, he was leaned against the back of the couch. As time passed, he fell on John’s shoulder and eventually his chest.

Beyond that, it was really late, and the last movie in the trilogy they decided to watch was surprisingly boring. So boring that Ava walked out less than halfway through. It was really a wonder that John hadn’t fallen asleep yet too. Then again, how could he?

Maybe he would have if Bob wasn’t on top of him, his messy curls tickling the bottom of John’s beard. His left hand was tucked under his side, his right set softly on John’s abdomen. How could John possibly fall asleep when his shoulder was so uncomfortable from being forcibly lifted on Bob’s side; when Bob’s gentle snores seemed louder than the movie?

John had every right to roll Bob off his body. Every right to slide out as quietly as possible, or to just stand up and let him fall where he fell. And he did try. He lifted his arm and started to slip off the couch but stopped when Bob stirred. Bob groaned quietly, shifted his nose into John’s chest as his hand gripped the fabric of his t-shirt, and John’s immediate thought was,

Shit, he’s cute.

That was the thought that got him spiraling. The unexpected observation that made him remember and overanalyze everywhere else that Bob had fallen asleep. Because he couldn’t be special. Bob didn’t lean on John because he was John, he was just getting comfortable in his random place of the day.

(And John definitely didn’t think Bob was cute. It was just really late, and he’d had a couple drinks, and his brain was confusing words or feelings or something.)

So, instead of sliding out or rolling Bob off him, John stayed put. He kept watching the movie and maybe his fingers slipped once or twice to play with Bob’s hair, but it was just because he was so goddamn bored. That was also why he couldn’t describe the plot—not because he kept looking at Bob instead of the screen.

Desperate to watch something more interesting (or distracting), John reached his left arm as far as he could toward the chair Ava had sat in. She left the remote behind and he was just too far away to reach it. He sighed as he sank back, the couch wobbling beneath him.

“Hm?” Bob squinted as he yawned. He brought his right hand to his face and rubbed his eye. For a split second, John felt sad for the loss of the warmth on his abdomen. Then Bob put his hand back down and squeezed the fabric again. “Sorry. Think I fell asleep.”

“You didn’t miss anything worth watching,” said John.

Bob nodded against his chest, his eyes mostly closed again already. John started to move his arm, but Bob shifted, leaned into it like he wanted him to stay. “Where’s Ava?”

“She went to bed. Back when you were still on the other side of the couch.”

“Oh.” He took a few slow, deep breaths before he spoke again, his words slurring sleepily. “Want me to move back?”

Please don’t, was John’s first thought.

“You don’t have to,” was what he said.

“‘K.”

They fell back into silence as Bob’s eyes drifted shut. John turned his attention back to the shitty movie, tried to ignore the way his heart pounded just slightly. If he thought too hard, he might remember how it felt to stargaze with Olivia, might realize the butterflies in his stomach were the same.

He twisted his arm, his fingertips grazing the surface of Bob’s skin. It was surprising how soft it was. John had always thought of men’s skin being rough like his, like his brothers in arms’, and Bob’s wasn’t. It was smooth, silky, warm.

“Sorry,” Bob mumbled, and John’s face flushed at the realization he’d spoken the last part aloud. “I know I run hot.”

Very hot, John thought, his gaze drifting to the sliver of exposed skin between Bob’s shirt and sweatpants. Then he shook his head, kicked himself internally, because what the fuck was happening to him.

Before John could think of a response, Bob sat up, only to wince and lean back down again. He pressed his forehead against John’s shoulder, his fingers on his temples.

“One second,” he whispered, and John could have stayed like that forever. “Head rush.”

“No hurry,” John breathed.

It took every ounce of John’s strength not to wrap his arms around Bob, not to pull him in closer and ask him not to move. He kept his mouth shut when Bob pulled away and stumbled to his feet. He stretched his arms as he yawned and stepped back from the couch.

“I’m gonna go lay down,” Bob said. He rubbed his hands under his eyes and smiled sleepily. “Night, John.”

“Night, Bob.”

John sank back into the couch when Bob left the common area. Somehow, though he was in the same seat as most nights, he suddenly felt like something was missing. Maybe he just needed somewhere to put his arms. He grabbed a pillow from the opposite cushion and wrapped his arms around it.

It wasn’t warm. It wasn’t soft. It didn’t have the weight to make him feel like he was in the safest place on Earth.

He tossed the pillow on the floor and stood up to grab the remote. He shut the TV off without a moment’s hesitation. There was no reason to keep staring at the screen, to keep pretending he was watching that shitty movie.

Not without Bob.

[faithbetryin]

Thinking about the fact that Matt survived a building falling on him, and while he survived, the love of his life- that he just got back from being resurrected into a soulless weapon, died. They wanted to die together, yet Matt survived. Then he found refuge in the place he felt the most alone in his life: the orphanage where his mother cared for him without his knowledge. The basement of a church where he's surrounded by angel statues whilst rejecting religion, forced to be watched under their stone faces. And after a suicide attempt, he has to hear the choir singing above him, surrounded in a tomb of graves in the walls. He is surrounded by death, failure, by religious symbols and sounds. Yet he's supposed to find meaning, challenged by the comments of his mother who tells him not to dwell in selfish "self pity."

DAREDEVIL, 2.01 "RESSURECTION"

[h4nanabananaz]

thunderbolts summary