#my meow meow but also. moo moo in this case

[lazarised]

cow maid jason!

part of an art exchange with @fade-bottomjay on twitter

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

The Man Downstairs Status Report - October 1, 2022

TL;DR - Hopefully the next chapter will be up next Saturday. 

My area got super lucky with the hurricane and didn’t get any damage. I feel horrible for everyone to the south who got hit hard with not much warning. For days it was predicted to head north then at the last minute, nope. Good luck getting your shutters up and evacuating in less than a day while you’re probably already getting wind and rain and road closures! I am so sorry to you all. If anyone out there is saying anything about how they should have been ready and evacuated, you have no idea what it’s like to suddenly have it change course and come right at you. You can’t look at where the center is. Sometimes these places are already getting pelted with strong bands before it makes the turn toward them and it’s already dangerous to leave your home. (Downed power lines in pooling water, puddles that look shallow but your car will float away in them, alligators and no I am not kidding they will randomly show up in standing/flood water along with their water moccasin friends, downed trees you can’t see until you’ve pretty much crashed into them, random tornadoes, etc.)

Anyway, my dad and I did evacuate for a few days just in case because it was aimed right at us for a bit (as in, I zoomed in on the map and the center track took it a few feet away from our house) and I put up the shutters and did all of the prep. I found a hotel that let us bring our cats and learned that Moo apparently like traveling (and seems like she wants to do it again) but Meow very much does not.

Staying there for the storm would have been fun if it didn’t start raining down the inside of the windows halfway through XD. It was a nice place for a pretty cheap price but just took some damage from the wind and rain pelting it on that side for more than 24 hours. We did lose power in the early morning about 3/4 of the way through the storm but were able to head back home that afternoon and had power there. Now everything is cleaned up and the shutters are down and the housework that got shunted off of the schedule due to hurricane is done. 

Now to get back to focusing on dad’s health. Basically, he got lucky that some other symptoms landed him in the hospital and they found a seriously large aneurysm and were able to repair it before it burst. He had another incident after that with another shorter hospital stay and now we’re trying to put all of the pieces together to figure out exactly what happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

And among all of this, a few friends moved in with me for a while which has been fun and helpful in a lot of ways for everyone involved but I have wanted to spend some time with them too because i barely got to see them for a long time because life and distance and all that. I’ve known one of them for 23 years now and we’ve pretty much at least messaged each other at least once a day for most of that time. It’s been great getting to talk in person again and cook together and stuff like we used to during convention costume prep back in the day.

But yeah, that all took time so I didn’t really get to work on the next chapter, though I did get in a few hours on it today. Now I’m hoping, fingers crossed, if things can stay okay for the next week, I should be able to have it up by next Saturday. 

Hope everyone is well and thanks so much for sticking with me during the unexpected hiatus! 

(Also, ha. Maybe I’m not always making the right decisions and maybe I make mistakes but I’ve been handling this all like a fucking boss so there’s that.)

[amiechuchu]

do you do requests? :D can i request for a fluffy doctor!reader and loki? i love your mmaatib series btw!

anon!! you're making me BLUSH!!! thank you so much for your support! and sorry if this came out a bit late i was feeling a bit under the weather the past few days. i also apologize for any errors btw! as you can see, i am a very very tired student who just wants her fix of loki too :'). anyways, i hope you enjoy!

Summary: because of y/n’s incessant pestering, loki turns y/n into a cat hoping that it would give him a moment’s peace.

Warnings: none

Catastrophe.

Loki had become accustomed to the smell of disinfectants that linger in the medical wing as his visits became more and more frequent. Although he hated to admit it, he loved the company you were able to provide. Maybe a bit more than the shared solace your safe haven have provided for the both of you. Usually, the low hum of the air-conditioning filled the room’s silence along with the small conversations you and Loki had shared. 

However, today was not one of those usual days. Today, you decided to reverse the roles, where you would be the one getting under Loki’s skin and Loki would be... Loki. Today, you decided that it would be fun to be the most annoying person in the whole Nine Realms. How? By disrupting the peace that graced this room, of course. You started off by imitating the Avengers to which he easily ignored. Then, you began imitating him, speaking of glorious purpose and whatnot, asking him to conjure his prized golden horns for you to use. Though the image that crossed his mind of you wearing his horns was temptingly adorable, his growing annoyance was far greater. Its evidence pointed at his deepening unamused pouty face.

The last straw for Loki was when you thought of imitating a variety of earth’s animals. You chirped, mooed, croaked, barked, and meowed. At that point, despite how much Loki loved hearing your voice, having a moment’s silence sounded so much sweeter to him. So, the God decided to turn you into the last animal you imitated... a cat. With a flick of his wrist, green swirls engulfed your form, and, in just mere seconds, you were transformed into a furry feline. A very cute one nonetheless.

You stood on your hind legs to admire your paws, mesmerized. Loki, on the other hand, looked pleased to see that your awe has taken over your sudden bouts of wanting to annoy him. He could finally read his book in peace, whilst stealing glances at your feline form every now and then to make sure that you don’t get into trouble. 

You took a few steps forward and a few steps back to see how comfortable it was to walk on four legs. It seemed very unnatural to you at first, but you managed. After a few minutes of walking, running, jumping, and exploring the area with your new form, you were confident that you had mastered the basics of feline movement. Without a care in the world, you began to sing Loki a song... in cat... very badly. In which, the lyrics you uttered were literally just meow, meow, meow, and meow on repeat.

“Loki,” you said in attempts to get the God’s attention. To your surprise, a meow still came out. The evident shock in your furry face shown as your irises were  enlarged and your mouth slightly open.

“Cats meow, pet,” Loki snapped at you, eyes still focused on the novel he was reading. “You know, for a mortal who treats people for a living and studies human physiology all their life, you don’t seem very smart. And no, before you even ask, I will not turn you back. ” 

Ignoring his remark, you jumped up to the table where he was situated. This time you kept tapping on his hands. “Hey, listen,” you meowed wanting the God’s undivided attention. “Wait, how can you even understand me?”

Before Loki could answer, the doors to the medical wing were swung open, revealing your boss, the one and only Tony Stark. Great. Immediately, Loki’s face soured upon seeing the man. His face all scrunched up and pouty again. You, on the other hand, pretended to be a good little kitty and lie down on the table, acting all cute and innocent. Tony wouldn’t notice, right? No, he would. But, he wouldn’t care, right? Hopefully.

“Reindeer games, have you seen the, uh, doctor in charge here. They are about this tall, and probably the only person who hangs out here majority of the time?” Tony asked, as he made gestures with his hands trying to picture out your height. He took a few glances at you - the cat - on the table as your tail gracefully wagged to-and-fro. Although a bit confused, he decided not to mind it, thinking that someone - maybe even Loki - adopted the cat and let them in the tower. Not that he really cared at the moment. Currently, the only thing nagging his brain was finding his precious doctor to finish their research agenda. This was the first time you were late and that worried Tony more than he’d like to admit. He wanted to find you before an overprotective uncle Bruce could notice, and, honestly, racing against that time period was too pressuring, even for him.

“I haven’t seen them,” Loki replied, making shooing motions with his hands. A signal that he wanted to be left alone already. The God went back to reading his novel until Tony left to scour the entire building for you, muttering something along the lines of calling Doctor Strange if he couldn't find you at all. He knew that Bruce wouldn’t take it lightly knowing his niece was missing under his watch, so calling out the all-knowing sorcerer became his trump card in case dear old Brucie decided to kick his ass for losing you.

With Tony out of the way, Loki turned his gaze on you.

Actually, on nothing now.

Of course, you had to disappear for real this time.

An exasperated sigh came out of his mouth as he realized you ran away from him. It wasn’t long until the same sense of worry Tony had came over the God. Realizing his current situation, an anxious laugh managed to come out of his mouth. Look at him, Loki Laufeyson, God of Mischief, a literal deity, worried about the doctor who he turned into a cat.

At this point, panicked thoughts began to rival his own logical ones.

What if someone else had picked you up? You were in a form of a feline inside a facility that clearly doesn’t deal with any animals. It wouldn't be a surprise if someone took you. Undoing the magic with this situation in mind wouldn't bring as much trouble, right?

Loki thought of undoing the magic, but another thought popped into his head before making the decision. What if you were hidden in some cramped space just waiting for him to find you? He feared that undoing it while you were in hiding might be detrimental to your own safety. As much as you annoyed him, Loki wouldn’t want to see his favorite little physician hurt in any way. 

Upon weighing all the pros and cons of the situation they were in, Loki decided to look for you the old fashioned way: by himself. Magic would be useless in this situation. Knowing you, any form of telepathic communication Loki made would just be ignored. Though he loved playing all types of games with you, this one only stressed him out. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself and thought of the different places he would hide if he were you. 

The God observed his surroundings as he decided to look for you inside the medical wing first. With you in feline form, you wouldn't have the strength to push open the doors, so he deduced that you wouldn't have gotten too far. Maybe you were under the beds, hidden in the shadows. Or even at the top of the shelves, away from plain sight. He began pacing through the whitewashed rooms, looking for more clues to narrow down the possible hiding places. Upon reaching halfway through the wing, Loki noted how the afternoon sun shone brightly, through the wide glass windows especially there at the far end of the room. Coincidentally, at the same area, he also spotted a seemingly occupied hospital bed with its curtains pulled all the way. The God took a few more steps as his brain continued to wire all the information together. Finally, it dawned on him. 

That was perfect place for a catnap.

Loki crept towards the bed's entrance, careful not to make any sounds to alarm you. Anxiously, he peered through the curtains, mentally cursing himself for the crinkling sound it made. Gods, how he prayed to find you there waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he made his way inside the secluded area to find... you basking under the sun in feline form, all curled up and asleep. Thank the Norns.

Your rhythmic purring quietly resonated throughout the area. A smile tugged at the edges of his mouth, relieved to have found you. Although he was jealous of the fact that the entire time you were just fast asleep, while he had to go through such an ordeal. And so, Loki climbed on top of the bed in the most quiet way possible. Although he was slightly unsure of his actions, he did it anyway. No one else was there, no one else would know. So, there he lay beside you, comfortable with a novel in hand.

It was not long until all the adrenaline in his system died down, and Loki too needed a nap of his own. He stifled a yawn, not wanting to disturb your peaceful slumber. As time passed, the God slowly drifted to sleep, and the magic that held your form was undone. Now, there you lay beside him, adorned by the golden afternoon sun. 

Still in deep sleep, you shifted your position, attracted to the warmth the God had brought with him. Realizing the change in position, Loki, as if by reflex, took his arm and put it around the small of your waist in attempts to keep you from falling off the edge, to keep you close. His head nudged yours lightly, and there he stared, captivated, at your sleeping form. There he realized how much he really cared for you despite how much of a handful you can be sometimes. It just felt right for him to have you pressed into his chest, to have his arm around you, to have you right there by his side. 

It just felt right for him to have you. 

“Sleep well, my mischievous little doctor,” the God said as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before finally dozing off.

As the two of you blissfully slept, basking under the afternoon sun, somewhere around the tower there was a very angry Tony Stark, looking for the missing doctor. That didn't matter at all to Loki. The only thing that mattered to him then and there was you by his side, safe and sound.

It was enough for him that today didn't end in a catastrophe.

Taglist: @gaycatlord-stuff 

[adventures-in-iberia]

Multilingual Vocab Practice

Pets

(Here’s a vocab list to help you talk about your furry/scaly/feathered friends. This was my favorite list to make so far!

Note: For the most part, I have given the masculine version of each animal. In general, feminization of each animal in Spanish and French is pretty simple (see the end of the post for further explanation). However, some animals have unique words for each gender (like “cow” and “bull”). In those cases, I have listed the alternative names underneath the more commonly used word.

I also have the baby version of different animals listed directly underneath the adult version in some cases.

As usual, most adjectives are given in the masculine singular form.)

English | español | français | Deutsch

Phrases

bad dog! | ¡perro malo! | mauvais chien ! | böser Hund!

can I pet (your dog)? | puedo acariciar a tu perro? | Je peux caresser votre chien ? | Darf ich Ihren Hund streicheln?

good boy! | *¡buen perro! | *bon chien ! | Guter Hund! good girl! |* ¡buena perra! | *bonne chienne ! | gute Hündin!

good doggy! | ¡buen perrito! | bon chiot ! | Gutes Hundchen!

Interjections

miaow! | miau | miaou ! | Miau!

woof-woof! | ¡guau-guau! | ouaf-ouaf | Wau-Wau!

Nouns

animal | el animal | l’animal | das Tier

belly | el vientre | le ventre | der Bauch

bird | el pájaro | l’oiseau | der Vogel

bug | el bicho | l’insecte | der Käfer

cage | la jaula | la cage | der Käfig

canary | el canario | le canari | der Kanarienvogel

cat | **el gato | **le chat | **die Katze kitten | el gatito | le chaton | das Kätzchen

cat food | la comida para gatos | la nourriture pour chat | das Katzenfutter

chinchilla | la chinchilla | le chinchilla | die Chinchilla

claw | la garra | la griffe | die Klaue

collar | el collar (de perro) | le collier (de chien) | das (Hunde)halsband

cow | la vaca | la vache | die Kuh bull | el toro | le taureau | der Stier

dog | **el perro | **le chien | der Hund puppy | el perrito | le chiot | der Welpe

dog food | la comida para perros | la nourriture pour chien | das Hundefutter

doggy door | la puerta para perros | la porte chien | die Hundetür

ear | la oreja | l’oreille | das Ohr

feather | la pluma | la plume | die Feder

ferret | el hurón | le furet | das Frettchen

fin | la aleta | l’aileron | die Flosse

fish | ***el pez | le poisson | der Fisch

fish food | la comida para peces | la nourriture pour poissons | das Fischfutter

fish tank | la pecera | l'aquarium | das Aquarium

foot | el pie | le pied | der Fuß

friend | el amigo/la amiga | l’ami/l’amie | der Freund/die Freundin

fur | el peláje | la fourrure | das Fell

gecko | el gecko | le gecko | der gecko

gerbil | el jerbo | la gerbille | die Rennmaus

goat | el cabro | la chèvre | die Ziege

guinea pig | el conejillo de indias | le cochon d’Inde | das Meerschweinchen

hamster | el hamster | le hamster | der Hamster

hermit crab | el cangrejo ermitaño | le crabe ermite | der Einsiedlerkrebs

hoof | el casco | le sabot | der Huf

horse | el caballo | le cheval | das Pferd foal | el potro | le poulain | das Fohlen

leash | la correa | la laisse | die Leine

litterbox | la caja de arena | le bac à litière | die Katzentoilette

lizard | el lagarto | le lézard | die Eidechse

mouse | el ratón | la souris | die Maus

nose | la nariz | le nez | die Nase

owner | el dueño/la dueña | le propriétaire/la propriétaire | das Herrchen/das Frauchen

parakeet | el periquito | la perruche | der Sittich

parrot | el loro | le perroquet | der Papagei

paw | la pata | la patte | die Pfote

pet | la mascota | l'animal de compagnie | das Haustier

pig | el cerdo | le cochon | das Schwein piglet | el cerdito | le porcelet | das Ferkel

pony | el pony | le poney | das Pony

rabbit | el conejo | le lapin | der Hase bunny | el conejito | le lapin | das Häschen

rat | la rata | le rat | die Ratte

scale | la escama | l’écaille | die Schuppe

service animal | el animal de servicio | l'animal d'assistance | das Diensttier

sheep | la oveja | le mouton | das Schaf lamb | el cordero | l’agneau | das Lamm

snake | la serpiente | le serpent | die Schlange

tail | la cola | la queue | der Schweif

tarantula | la tarántula | la tarentule | die Tarantel

turtle | la tortuga | la tortue | die Schildkröte

veterinarian | el veterinario | le vétérinaire | der Tierarzt

weasel | la comadreja | la belette | das Wiesel

whisker | el bigote | la moustache | das Schnurrhaar

wing | ****el ala | l’aile | der Flügel

Verbs

to bark | ladrar | aboyer | bellen

to bathe (the dog) | bañar (al perro) | se baigner (le chien) | (den Hund) baden

to bite | morder | mordre | beißen

to crawl | gatear | ramper | kriechen

to cuddle (the animal) | acurrucarse (al animal) | câliner (l'animal) | kuscheln (das Tier)

to escape | escapar | échapper | fliehen

to feed (the pet) | alimentar (a la mascota) | nourrir (l’animal) | (das Haustier) füttern

to fetch (the stick) | traer (el palo) | chercher (le baton) | (den Stock) holen

to fly | volar | voler | fliegen

to gallop | galopar | galoper | galoppieren

to growl | gruñir | grogner | knurren

to hiss | sisear | feuler | zischen

to hop | dar saltitos | sautiller | hüpfen

to howl | aullar | hurler | heulen

to jump | saltar | sauter | springen

to kick | patear | botter | treten

to leap | brincar | bondir | springen

to lick | lamer | lécher | lecken

to love (my cat) | amar (a mi gato) | aimer (mon chat) | lieben (meine Katze)

to meow | maullar | miauler | miauen

to moo | mugir | meugler | muhen

to neigh | relinchar | hennir | wiehern

to neuter | castrar | châtrer | kastrieren

to pet | acaricar | caresser | streicheln

to play (with dogs) | jugar (con perros) | jouer (avec des chiens) | (mit Hunden) spielen

to play fetch | jugar a la pelota | jouer chercher | fetch spielen

to purr | ronronear | ronronner | schnurren

to ride (the horse) | montar (al caballo) | monter (à cheval) | (das Pferd) reiten

to run | correr | courir | rennen

to scratch | arañar | griffer | kratzen

to sing | cantar | chanter | singen

to sniff | olfatear | renifler | schnüffeln

to spay | esterilizar | stériliser | sterilisieren

to squawk | graznar | glousser | quaken

to squeak/squeal | chillar | piailler | quieksen

to swim | nadar | nager | schwimmen

to take care of (my dog) | cuidar de (mi perro) | prendre soin de (mon chien) | auf (meinen Hund) aufpassen

to train | adiestrar | entraîner | trainieren

to trot | trotar | trotter | traben

to tweet | piar | pépier | piepen

to wag (her tail) | menear (la cola) | remuer (la queue) | (mit dem Schweif) wedeln

to walk | caminar | marcher | laufen

to walk (the dog) | pasear (al perro) | promener (le chien) | (mit dem Hund) spazieren gehen

to whine | gimotear | gémir | jaulen

Adjectives

bad | malo | mauvais | schlecht

beautiful | hermoso | beau/belle | schön

big | grande | gros | groß

cute | lindo | mignon | süß

feathered | plumado | à plumes | gefiedert

fluffy | mullido | duveteux | flauschige

friendly | amigable | amical | freundlich

furry | peludo | velu | pelzig

good | bueno | bon | gut

nice | bonito | gentil | nett

scaly | escamoso | à écailles | schuppig

scary | espantoso | effrayant | unheimlich

skittish | asustadizo | capricieux | scheußlich

small | pequeño | petit | klein

smart | inteligente | intelligent | schlau

Notes:

*Note that “good boy/girl!” is not really used in Spanish and French to address dogs the way it is in English. They usually just say “good dog”.

**In Spanish, most animals can be feminized by replacing “el” with “la” (or “un” with “una”) and adding an “-a” at the end of the word, or by replacing the last vowel with “-a”. So, if you have a female cat, you can call her “una gata” instead of “un gato”. A female dog would be “una perra”.

**In French, most animals can be feminized by replacing “le” with “la” (or “un” with “une”) and adding an “-e” at the end of the word. Usually, the last consonant will have to be doubled as well. So, if you have a female cat, you can call her “une chatte” instead of “un chat”. A female dog would be “une chienne”.

**In German, most people use the feminine version of cat, “die Katze”, to refer to cats in general. To talk about a male cat (usually a tomcat) specifically, you can say “der Kater”.

***Don’t refer to someone’s pet fish as “el pescado”. That’s the word for fish that you eat. It would be like calling someone’s pet pig “pork” or someone’s pet cow “beef”.

****Like “el agua”, “el ala” is actually a feminine word that uses the article “el” simply because it sounds better. For example, if you wanted to talk about a bird’s red wing, you would refer to it as “el ala roja”.

[panickypeachboy]

PLOTTING CHEAT SHEET

Mun name: Plushie OOC Contact: I love talking to folks on Discord, but it’s totes fine to reach out to me by IMs and Asks...IMs preferred in most cases. Feel free to ask for the Discord!

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

A freeter who does their best to help others, even though they’re a bit timid. Tries to put on a brave face in front of others. There is also a tiny kitten, who is just a toddler Mew, aka a mythical psychic creature.

Points of interest:

He’s capable of understanding most animals but hears them bark, meow, moo, etc. Smells lightly of peaches, can nourish himself through photosynthesis, is capable of cooking and slicing trough metal with just a katana. Stupidly strong child, yes yes. ...He is an incarnation of the folklore: Momotaro, after all. Also is not keen on physical affection...or affection in general.

If your muse is open to just silly fluffiness or adopting a pet, we do have Tiny Mew.

What they’ve been up to recently:

He had left his homeland again after returning to it. There was a bit of a zombie apocalypse that made him even more terrified few physical contact than before. But he’s still doing his best to do odd jobs here and there no matter where he ends up.

Where to find them:

Anywhere. He likes going where the wind takes him, particularly due to his main transportation being a boat.

Current plans:

His birthday is coming up soon... (5/24) But he’s not keen on it. Hoping to do more fluffy threads tho, including the child verse.

Desired interactions:

Momotaro absolutely needs more friends despite him denying that. Needs to develop a better sense of worth...and maybe more clothes. Lad only wears rags and work uniforms. Perhaps one could show him the world and all its shining shimmering splendor?

Offered interactions:

Even though Momotaro is a lad without much to his name, he’s always happy to try to cook for others, or even do small jobs for them. He’s a pretty good cook, hence all the food reblogged on the blog. Of course if your muse wants someone to pick on, Momotaro may be easy pickings. Or not, he is stupid strong but is awfully meek.

Current open post/s:

https://panickypeachboy.tumblr.com/post/171668212890/open-starter-compendium-beta 

Made a post featuring links to open starters here! ...Will be needing to update this soon...and my whole blog in general. 

Anything else?:

I’m in the pacific timezone region so I may be up when others are sleeping and vice versa. I’m a bit rocky on rping but if you’re patient with me, I’m thankful for that. Also here’s my multimuse in case a peach boy and a tiny kitten isn’t your cup of tea. https://aplushemporium.tumblr.com/post/617234326483025920/aplushemporium-aplushemporium

Tagging: @hvggable, @of-boxes-and-ufos, @bloomingempress, @dreamybandee, @notevenjupiter, @stoleninvites, @str0ng-fuj1saki, @intrappen, @luckythieved, @psyncin-in-the-restrain, @eludum, @electricea, @supportive-editor, @appleyjuiceboy but anyone can do this, OR NOT

[septembercfawkes]

Boom! Bang! Pow! Using Onomatopoeias Well

Today's article is going to be rather short, because that's all it needs to be for this particular lesson. But first, a couple of announcements: 1) I was recently in the news for one of my Comic Con panels. You can see and read that here. 2) I only have about 4 days left of my Fawkes Editing Thunderclap campaign, and I only need 7 more people to reach my goal. It's completely free to pledge! So please help me get the last 7. Go here. Thanks! An onomatopoeia is a word that expresses a direct sound. You learned about them when you were a toddler: meow, oink, woof, moo. Then there are also the other sounds: ka-ching, sizzle, squawk, whoosh, zoom, and onward. In creative writing, we are taught to appeal to all senses: sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. That's when onomatopoeias become relevant. However, there are good ideas and not-so-good ideas on how to use them. Not-so-good I went out into the backyard. My neighbors next door had a thing for raising pigs to compete in fairs. "Oink! Oink! Oink!" I hoped I'd be able to ignore them as I practiced my lines for my next audition. "Oink, oink, oink, oink." I hoped. Many new writers will approach onomatopoeias this way. I think by default, we are taught about them in this way, as toddlers. But when you use them like this, unless you are writing a children's story or maybe even middle grade, it usually cheapens the story. We aren't toddlers anymore. Another exception to this is comic books, manga, graphic novels, and maybe even visual novels--stories where pictures convey much of the story, usually in panels, and the classic onomatopoeia usage is naturally tied to the medium. Personally, I think this is largely because these mediums are more visual than a typical novel, with little narration (usually) so that's naturally how to convey sound, similar to how in a movie, you would simply hear the sound effect. I could be wrong; I'm not an expert on these mediums by any means, but that's the vibe I get. Good I went out into the backyard. My neighbors next door had a thing for raising pigs to compete in fairs. I closed my eyes in a moment of annoyance as they oinked to unprecedented volumes. I hoped I'd be able to ignore them as I practiced my lines for my next audition. The oinks reached a new obnoxious pitch. I hoped. For typical fiction writing, you handle onomatopoeias by turning them into verbs or nouns or adjectives. "They oinked," "The oinks," and its work with other words. Seagulls cawed along the shore. Bacon sizzled in the pan. The scooter zoomed down the street. The child's screech could have made us deaf. He had a barking tone. This way you convey sound in a way that's natural to narration, without it drawing too much attention to itself. There are some exceptions, particularly with dialogue. Sound words that actually are naturally said are usually fine. For example, "Oof!" is a sound that people actually make. However, pigs don't actually sound like "Oink!" Oink is just a way us humans invented to describe and convey the sound. This is why in different languages, you may have different sounds. In America, cats say "meow." In Japan, they say "nyan." So the following are often going to read fine, and you'll see them in fiction sometimes: "Uugh, that was the worst meeting I've ever sat through," Sandra said. "Uh, is that . . . a spider?" Jeffrey asked. "Oof--what was that for?" Mitch rubbed his head. "That hurt." "Pfft, like that would ever happen." "Ahem, are you listening?" However, some words do sound a little strange, unless you are using them jokingly. "Boo-hoo!" Sally cried. No one I know actually makes that sound when crying. There are some cases where the classic Boom! does work, but almost never ever. Other than a few of those common dialogue words, like "um," "er," and "uh," you almost always want to turn the onomatopoeia into a verb, noun, or adjective.

[83unsungheroes]

Hello,

If we were having a coffee this week, mine would be my second Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season.  This is the start of the run down to Christmas to me.  PSL gives way to Starbucks Red Cups for Christmas and X-Factor has also started this weekend, and that finished in time for the winner to challenge for Christmas number 1.

Of course, that would be if I had a coffee at all.  I got back from Chicago on Friday and I’m struggling with jet lag.  This is unusual for me, travelling East.  I usually just stay really tired on the day of landing, get an early night and I’m sorted.  This time I managed to stay (largely) awake till 20.30 but was struggling so went to bed.  I promptly woke up at 23.30, and couldn’t sleep again until what I think was about 4am, which makes sense with the 6 hour time difference.  Last night I decided to try to stay up till midnight (having been completely shattered) and slept through till 9am, so I’m hoping that that is that sorted.

I’ve had some more dreams that follow on from last week, about the person I haven’t seen for a long time.  This was more of a thought processing dream than a dream dream.  I know what I mean by that anyway! Last night I also seemed to work through some work stuff which could or could not be really handy next week!

My second week away for work was largely frustrating.  We had a great opportunity to really change some stuff and make it easier.  Instead, I think we maybe went a bit too far back to where we are now and what we know and are used to.  That wasn’t where I wanted to end the 10 days and wasn’t where we were headed at the half way mark, so I wasn’t entirely happy.  We should get to a good solution, I just don’t think it’ll be as good as it can be.

Entertainment wasn’t great either.  Being out in the suburbs didn’t help.  In the UK, when you’re in the suburbs, you’re always 10 minutes away from somewhere with stuff to do.  Where we were, we had a mall, but that was it.  I know it was a work trip, but when you travel that far for that long you want to have a bit of a fun too, and that wasn’t really the case here beyond the usual going out for food to one of the same three restaurants.

I can’t entirely remember what I said about my trip last week, but I remember I didn’t do any photos due to “technical issues”. So, without wishing to repeat, I’m going to just put some photos with little comments.

I got noise cancelling headphones that were a godsend on both flights.  I used them on the way home without any feed to them, just to block out the plane drone.  They helped me get a whole hour of sleep on the way home.

On the way there I watched the whole first season of Stranger Things.

I enjoyed it so much I downloaded the whole of the second season for the flight home, but the flight was too short and I didn’t feel great because the woman next to me appeared to be a clean freak and had lots of strong scented things to clean with – her hands, her tray table… It’s always the smells in planes that make me feel nauseous.

When it rained, it really rained.  And then, because it was so hot, it went really humid.

We went to Chicago at the weekend and, in between looking for air conditioning, we did some stuff.  We started in an English bar, watching football.

I actually really enjoy watching football (my football) in bars in the US.  It happens early, you can have breakfast and the fans really enjoy it.

We then went to Millennium Park to see the Bean.

We moved in to Chicago a bit more, but I wasn’t a fan.  It was very claustrophobic to me.  Chicago is, so I’m told, the second largest city in America behind New York.  We entered the city, drove for 20 minutes and there were still skyscrapers in the distance.  Once in, the streets seemed really tight and the height of the buildings was just too much for me to feel what Chicago would really have to offer.

On the Sunday I went to the baseball.  Cubs beat Reds 9-0.  Again, the temperature was ridiculous.  I enjoy the baseball, and Wrigley Park is one of the iconic ballparks in the US, probably only behind Fenway.  I didn’t really think it would be all I got to do that day but after leaving and eating, all there was really left to do was head back to the hotel.

Best not forget the real reason I went to the baseball though…

Love cheesy nachos!

The other food I couldn’t resist while I was there was Fruit Loops.

I was amused when I found footprints that looked like someone hadn’t waited for the tarmac to set before walking on it.

I was also amused by this “God is Gate” number plate.

But I was constantly annoyed by the lack of ground floor.

I started to miss home with a few days to go.  I think after the weekend I started counting down the days which doesn’t help.  I rang Moo.  I don’t think he knew what was happening but I’d obviously disturbed him playing and/or eating Dreamies.

I’ve never been convinced that Moo really misses me too much when I’m not in despite sometimes wondering whether he’d rather be anywhere else other than living with me.  I don’t think he noticed me arrive home (the taxi driver has an electric car) so I walked in the games room and shouted for him.  He shouted back and I heard him jump to the floor and rush to the top of the stairs.  He stopped three stairs down, peered at me through the railings, meowed again and ran over to me.  He hasn’t really left my side since.

And a brief Pokémon update…

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This weekend has been hard work, and I’m back in the office tomorrow.  I was too jet lagged to post on Friday, so I apologise if you were waiting for something.  I’ll hopefully be back on it this coming week.  Hopefully your last 7 days have gone smoothly.

(I’ve been loving Snow Patrol’s latest album this last week, by the way.  I really recommend it.)

      The Coffee With The Proper Chicago Round-Up. #weekendcoffeeshare Hello, If we were having a coffee this week, mine would be my second Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season.  

[fashiontrendin-blog]

So Sorry I Was Stuck in Traffic: Your March Horoscope Is Here!

http://fashion-trendin.com/so-sorry-i-was-stuck-in-traffic-your-march-horoscope-is-here/

So Sorry I Was Stuck in Traffic: Your March Horoscope Is Here!

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej. 

My favorite meme-theme in the whole wide world is the one that taps into the old “I’m on my way!” lie when you haven’t even left yet and are definitely going to be late.

Speaking of late, horoscopes on the 9th of the month, eh?

Look, Mercury’s gonna retrograde on March 22nd, so I’m going to go ahead and blame my tardiness on that planet. Susan Miller basically told me to do as much (Astrology Zone plug!!!) and you know that I do what she tells me to. But just in case you’ve found yourself frozen, unable to move without the star’s guidance, how about I make it up to you — right now: you, me, a little astrology? There’s that toothy grin!

Let’s get this party started! Oh and because I literally fall asleep while typing about Mercury being backwards-ass, allow me to throw out a blanket statement here: do all your electronics shopping and ticket-purchasing now. Otherwise, you’ll be fine.

Aries

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGICAL (F)ARIES! I hope a thousand sprinkles and sugar balls tumbled out of your cake the moment you cut it, like they do from those viral Flour Shop ones, and I hope you caught it in time for social media documentation.

A recap of the last nine days: Thanks to the full moon, you probably finished a major project that resulted in great success. An annoying health-related matter likely came to a happy end. You may have received some cash. (God bless the grandparents who still include “walking around money” in birthday cards.) You also may have been invited to a party!

What to expect for the rest of the month: the need for a nap — and after March 17th, you’ll be able to get some rest; a serious career growth spurt is set to last until May 15th (“the coming weeks will be the most important of 2018 for career growth and progress,” per Susan, so make sure you act fast on the open positions you want); and finally, a hot-n-heavy (sorry) love life. Did “hot-n-heavy” make you think of Hot Pockets? Just wondering, also just wondering if you’ve had one lately and if they were under/overrated? They seem like a fast snack so why not, honestly.

Taurus

Welcome to March or should I say, “Mooarch,” in Taurus-talk. Mooarch is going to be our favorite time of 2018, fellow bull-human-jelly-beans.

A recap of the last nine days: We had “wonderful developments to our emotional lives” thanks to the new moon (good lord, thank you), a romantic March 3rd and 4th weekend — kindly tell me all about it down in the equally romantic comments section, and one or more of you may have proposed to someone. I did not because I am trying to play it cool!!!

What to expect for the rest of the month: a moment of, “Oh shit, I’m spending money like I’m drunk at a bar and in a good mood, as in ‘SHOTS ON ME, PARTY FREAKS,’ only my bank account just told me I’m grounded”; a financial chill-out in response, probably around the 17th; a chance to travel (take it if you can); new romance around the 28th (if you’re not single, maybe just a lot of “REKINDLING THE FIRE” wink-wink-have-fun-be-safe); and on March 30th, thanks to Venus, an absolutely prime opportunity if not excuse to get our hair done and do a little or a lotta shopping.

Gemini

Hi Geminini in a Bottle, Baby! I’m on a plane and the person next to me is snoring. Thought you’d like to know that detail about me.

A recap of the last nine days: You had a “joyous family event” at the start of the month (family barbecue or an aunt’s 90th birthday as celebrated on a cruise, perhaps?); you may have moved; you’ve hopefully been very happy.

Susan keeps saying that everyone is happy this month which makes me happy and I hope it’s true because if there’s one movie character in the history of the WORLD who’s me, it’s that woman who doesn’t even go here in Mean Girls with the rainbow cake and…whoa. IDK if you read Aries’ intro but I just had a life-changing realization and think that Flour Shop cake might be the manifestation of the cake that Mean Girls girl wanted to bake.

You’re lucky I’m able to keep doing horoscopes after that kind of revelation but I AM!!! Snoring seatmate on a plane, remember? He’s both distracting and motivating.

What to expect for the rest of the month: the best time in 2018 for career progress; a serious relationship commitment and a finally-completed major project.

Cancer

I didn’t have one crab cake in Paris, I hope you’ll know.

A recap of the past nin days: You may have taken (or be planning) a short trip. If you’re planning a big one, however, wait until after March 17th. That’s it with the back-at-it stuff. Let’s look forward.

What to expect for the rest of this month: you’ll be “hungry for new experience and information,” so bring a toothbrush wherever you go just in case you’re chewing more than usual; romance — especially if you do plan that little bit of travel; a really exciting “media project” (sometimes Susan is vague and it’s nice to let it happen); a little home construction situation; your health or an ex driving you up a damn wall; a resolution to the last thing I just wrote that results in a “strong, nearly unbreakable union”; and who knows, you might just get back into waffles. Remember waffles???????

Leo

Susan wants you to pay attention to your finances, to which I say, “BOR-ING.” You might say “MEOW-RING” since you’re related to a cat, but if there’s one thing I was reminded of in Paris, it’s that everyone prefers you to just speak English if you’re going to accidentally give the wrong address three times in a row because you confuse the “teens” with the “twenties.”

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: Susan is “especially enthusiastic about your prospects to get a great deal on a mortgage or refinanced mortgage; talks of shared expenses between lovas; an opportunity to turn your creativity into a profit; a bump forward in your career reputation; romance as in romuntz-untz-untz, and romance of the TRUE LOVE variety. At the end of the month you’ll need a little nap, but you also might go to a rock concert. Susan said. I just sat here and binge-ate Meow Mix.

Virgo

The beginning of the month has been busy for you! That must be because your star sign, Virgo, collaborated with Virgil Abloh of Off-White which means you’re a celebrity now. Don’t you worry about me, I’m not really keeping track of what I’m saying.

A recap of the last nine days: you may have seen “the fullness of a desire that is deeply important to you reach fruition” (ooooo-ie!); you may have proposed; your home life may have, out of seemingly nowhere, FINALLY started to feel “lighter, easier, and more enjoyable”; and you may have started to really focus in on a project that means a lot to you.

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: a permanent-good mood because of Mars in Capricorn from the 17th through May 15th; an itch to redecorate your home; a positive outlook on love; a readiness to find “the one,” have a baby child, or build a business; and, on the 28th, a big fat wad of money!!!

Libra

Hey Libra, so Susan seems to think you have feathers? Do you? That’s so cool, but she seems to also think they’re dragging. Are you hibernating? That’s okay!!! We all need to take a time out on occasion, stick our beaks under our wing-pits and fluffle for a bit until we feel cozy enough to come out on someone’s outstretched index finger again.

I used to have birds growing up! Rainbow and Webster, double-RIP.

Anyway, doesn’t mean you’re totally antisocial. If you get invited to a getaway situation before the 17th, you should definitely go.

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: March 17th through May 15th is the best time to sell your apartment if you’re thinking about doing that kind of thing; you’ll be supremely creative around the new moon of the 17th; go to the gym and the dentist at the end of the month; Libra will put “a big accent on your dreams and desires” toward the end of the month — you might feel overwhelmed in other areas, so breathe here, because these are exciting things, and see if you can’t get help; you may start taking piano lessons. Susan didn’t say anything about them but I thought it seemed like a nice note to end on.

Scorpio

Hey Stinger Pants! Better than Stinker Pants, am I right?

“When you eventually look back on 2018,” Susan writes, “you will view March as a magical month, one of your most romantic months of the year.”

A recap of the last nine days: You started with an enchanting full moon on the 1st; everything supposedly went your way thanks to the lineup of the planets; the full moon shone in your eleventh house of hopes and wishes; life was all around flowery and romantic. (Yes? No? This sounds lovely so I’m rooting for this truth.)

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: Susan really wants you to travel, if you can getaway; Neptune, the Sun and the new moon are going to work together to “set the stage for love”; if you want to have baby chickens of your own, now might be the time; your career will shoot forward like the star that it is and you are; there’s a “blue moon” at the end of the month that might make things a little tiring, but per Suz’s verbatim advice: “Certainly this is a month given over mainly to love and fun, so for once, let work take a back seat so you can enjoy those precious moments to the fullest.”

Sagittarius

Oh Sagittarius, I brought a celestial apple with me, your favorite!

Did you read that in a sing-song voice? Do you think it’s weird how much I like your sign because I like horses so much? At first I was mad about Sagittari-ii because you guys get all the good astrologically-related logos and calendars and doodles, but then I realized, “If you can’t be them, join them,” so here I am offering you sugar cubes out of my palm and wondering if I can play with your horsetail.

A recap of the last nine days: Your career is more up than the Pixar movie (hey-o!) and everyone knows your name; you’ll make a lot of money; the man next to me is blowing into his nose so hard I’m scared for his brain.

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: Susan wants you to “toot your own horn” and celebrate your accolades, because it will lead to more of them — you’ve got a competitive edge right now; you’ll focus on redecorating and nesting; you’ll negotiate a beneficial contract (nice ’n’ vague); you’ll start getting into party mode even though you’re a little sleepy (take naps, please); you’ll need to be a brainstorming partner to a friend; and finally, on March 28th, you’ll “enjoy lighthearted mirth,” a sentence I am so glad Susan Miller wrote because we could all stand to work mirth back into our vocabulary!!!

Capricorn

I’m not saying you don’t, but if you had Capricorn horns IRL, would you pierce them, or would you let them be their own accessory?

A recap of the last nine days: the full moon of March 1st was “tailor-made for you” and made you smile a ton, apparently; your ninth house of long-distance travel sparkled; you may have gotten into grad school or something in that vein.

Here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: Hopefully better food than the weird airplane chicken teriyaki I just ate; a “big competitive advantage over the other zodiac signs,” thanks to Mars in Capricorn from March 17th through May 15th for the first time in two years (from Susan: “Use this time to launch an initiative that requires you have a lucky edge, such as a big interview…”); a lit-up career toward the end of the month and the culmination of a stressful, all-consuming project; a costume party that Susan didn’t really suggest I write about so much as she didn’t not tell me to mention it, so anyway, I think you should throw a costume party because why the hell not. I’ll brainstorm costumes with you down below if you want.

Aquarius

AQUARIUS I wonder if your name is to blame: I have had that “Barbie Girl” song stuck in my head for four days and I want it gone! I keep wanting to talk to you and Pisces about The Shape of Water and this so-called “fish sex.” I haven’t watched it yet which bums me out because I feel like it’s ripe fodder for these horoscopes, although this month’s batch has been a bit of a dead fish when it comes to the blatant innuendos. Oh well. There’s always next month to talk about Uranus and golden showers unnecessarily!

Anyway, here’s what to expect for the rest of the month: Ask for a raise on the new moon of March 17th — “it looks like you will get it,” writes Suz; you’ll begin opening talks for an exciting career move; your social life will be like PARTYPARTYPARTYDINNERHANGFRIENDPARTY, and you’ll be into it; after March 17th, you’ll be given the opportunity to go off the grid for a bit, which might be nice after that sentence I just wrote; use the end of the month to reflect, avoid travel if you can (Mercury in retro-lame) and reconnect with old flames — romantic or platonic. And hang out with your Barbie World friends!

Pisces

Hello you golden fish! I literally just said this to Aquarius but my hands feel like hooves today (I am a Taurus, after all) so don’t mind the copy/paste and pretend instead that I put both of you on a group text:

I keep wanting to talk to you and [Aquarius] about The Shape of Water and this so-called “fish sex.” I haven’t watched it yet which bums me out because I feel like it’s ripe fodder for these horoscopes, all though this month’s batch has been a bit of a dead fish when it comes to the blatant innuendos. Oh well. There’s always next month to talk about Uranus and golden showers unnecessarily!

Work smarter, not harder, am I right, bubble breath?

That was a compliment!!! It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever come up with. I can’t wait to use it as a term of endearment again.

A recap of the last nine days: You may have gotten married, or you proposed, or you DTR’d — Venus is in Pisces so there was and is a lotta love and romance happening; you were very inspired, or at least the buds of inspiration began to bloom; you might have started to find someone to partner with professionally, too.

What to expect for the rest of the month: Start sending out your resume and making the most of ye old network; expect great news on the 11th (about something!); prepare for a cool opportunity in ~*media*~ on March 13th; you’ll have the best day ever on March 17th thanks to gift-giving, luck-distributing Jupiter getting the new moon all excited, which will result in a special new moon that you can use in any way you choose. “The actions you take immediately after that new moon appears will have far-reaching, positive ramifications,” Susan Thriller said. That sounds so exciting! I hope you’ll send me an old-school newsletter that I can tape to my fridge because if there’s anything I love more than good Suz and good news, it’s mall photos of my friends in turtlenecks!

[theguardian911]

Stop barking dog by Cesar Cows moo. Cats meow. Dogs bark. Sometimes, dogs bark way too much, and that can become a problem. But it’s not as difficult a problem to solve as a lot of people think. I don’t think anyone wants their dog to never bark. A little barking at the right time can be very useful, whether it’s to alert you to someone or something approaching your home, or to scare away threats when you’re not there. The trick is to get to that Goldilocks zone of barking — not too little, not too much, but just right. You might be surprised to hear it, but getting to “just right” is probably a lot easier than you think. Why do dogs bark? Before you can get to the fix for any problem, you have to understand the causes. In the case of barking, it can be either wanted or unwanted, so the first question to answer is why dogs even bark in the first place. Simply put, they bark to communicate, particularly in situations where they cannot immediately see the rest of the pack or when they want to get a message to the entire pack. In the wild, the message can be a warning of danger or a call to the hunt. When it comes from the dogs at the front of the pack, it can a way to scare off a threat. In the wild, though, dogs don’t bark all the time. In fact, they don’t bark a lot. They save it for when they really need it. But when your dog barks constantly at home, what is it they need? Why do dogs bark too much? So when a domesticated dog barks all day, what are they trying to communicate? Generally, if they do it when no one is home, it’s a sign of boredom or frustration. It can also be their way of trying to call you back, especially if the dog is experiencing separation anxiety. The other causes, whether there are people at home or not, can be excess energy, which a dog will try to burn off through excitement and hyperactivity; or it can be due to anxiety, which leads to the dog perceiving every little noise as a possible threat to be scared away. It may seem like something that’s impossible to control, but you have to remember why dogs bark in the first place. Communication. And what is it that one dog will try to communicate to another, or to its human pack leader? Needs. Meet the underlying need, and the excess barking will stop. Stopping the barking Maybe that sounds easier said than done. But, in reality, it actually is done fairly easily. It just requires focus, commitment, and consistency on your part. It begins with correcting the unwanted barking when it happens with whatever method works for your dog, whether it’s a touch, a tsch, or something else. The commitment and consistency mean that you have to be ready and willing to continue the corrections until the behavior stops, and you have to always correct it when your dog barks inappropriately and you’re there. There’s another “C” that goes with commitment and consistency, and that is “calm.” As with any correction, you have to remain calm and assertive. If you get angry or impatient, this will just amp up your dog’s energy and make barking more likely. If the barking is always at a specific thing — like a particular door or window, or when people come in the house, then you can break the cycle by claiming that thing. That’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Using your body language and calm, assertive energy, create an invisible barrier between your dog and the stimulus. This sends the signal that it’s nothing they need to be concerned with or worried about, because it “belongs” to you. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Giving a correction is great if I’m there, but my problem is that my dog barks when I’m not home.” In that case, you need to challenge your dog, mentally and physically, in order to leave them in a state that’s directed away from unnecessary barking. The physical challenge means exercise. Take your dog on a long walk before you leave to drain all of that excess energy and leave her in a calm, submissive state. To challenge her mentally, you can leave her with something to do, like a favorite chewy, or a “find the treat” toy that will keep her engaged until you get back. Crate training or creating a space for your dog to go to that she’ll associate with calm and relaxation can also help. Of course, make sure that whatever you leave your dog with is safe for her to use without human supervision. Ask your vet or trainer if you have any doubts. And don’t forget the power of asking. If you can’t solve the problem, there’s nothing wrong with consulting a behaviorist or trainer to help out. When your dog barks, she’s trying to tell you something. By making it a two-way communication, you can give her the calmness and confidence to know that she doesn’t have to tell you everything. Stay calm, and stop the barking! Related: What your dog's barking means. https://www.cesarsway.com/dog-behavior/barking-and-howling/what-is-your-dog-feeling-by-their-bark