#my mom if she remembers is getting electrical tape for it

[detectivekonan]

the cat destroyed my laptop charger last night midst it all and how theres exposed wires now but in the right position it works fine. the part that is affecting how its actually charging is right next to the laptop plug in... like you know how phone chargers break near the phone plug in.. its like that. to get it charging i have to find an angle for that part to get it to work.

[dollywheeler]

October 13th, 1996

Dear diary,

Mrs. Benson’s hip is acting up again so most of my - admittedly already limited - free time has been going to helping her out with chores and groceries. I really don’t mind - Mrs. Benson is sweet and always has a fun story to tell - but the timing is kind of a bummer.

Mike asked me over to allow me to practice guitar together - apparently the guitar in their den is a new one Will got him for his birthday a few years back, but he still has the old one he learned to play on lying around upstairs. So after class on Wednesday, he suggested learning a song together. Of course, I jumped on the opportunity to get to practice more, but as I’ve basically spent all weekend at Mrs. Benson’s, I haven’t gotten a chance to set a date yet. Mom tried to convince me that she could bring over the extra meals herself, but I genuinely do enjoy helping her out, and I’m the only one who knows how to get her to admit she needs more help.

Last time, mom went to deliver her meals three days in a row because I had extra cheer practice, and it’s only when I finally went over again that I could convince her to admit she’d been needing some more lemon drops for her throat. I mean, I know it’s not life-threatening but still. I worry less when I go myself. Besides, I like the walk, even if it’s just down the street. It’s peaceful.

Tuesday evening, I’m babysitting again, so I’ll hopefully get the chance to practice as I usually do, but it would have been great if I’d have an idea as to what song we’re learning at least, so I can get a head start. I kind of want to learn Champagne Supernova because it’s my favorite song at the moment, but I don’t know if Mike likes that kind of music - I mean, he didn’t even recognise the Pixies!

Will at least knows how to appreciate music - he’s been playing the tape I copied on loop in class all week! I’ll probably just go ask Mike after class tomorrow what song we're doing.

Whitney’s already been bugging us about Halloween as well, trying to coordinate outfits for Melissa’s yearly Halloween party. I still think it would be cool to go dressed as the Hocus Pocus witches - at least it’s still somewhat tied to Halloween! - but Dylan and Whitney really want to go as Clueless. I suggested Heathers instead but they thought it was boring. I mean I don’t disagree - I’m not particularly fond of Heathers either, but it’s slightly more interesting and bloody than Clueless. Also, how do you even dress up as clueless??? I’m clueless about THAT.

Anyway, there’s plenty of time still. Maybe I’ll ask Will for advice, though I doubt he’d know as the party were boys and there were four of them.

Maybe I can wriggle out of this years triple costume if I tell them I want to do a couple’s costume with Daniel. Then we could do Bonnie and Clyde or something. Not the most creative but still fun. I don’t want to just ditch them… but with everything going on I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with Daniel outside of school, so I genuinely do want to spend Halloween with him. I know the girls will understand that at least :)

I did see him once when I went to grab food from the diner - Mrs. Benson was craving their fries - and it was definitely the highlight of my weekend - or at least a close second to finally beating Mrs. Benson at blackyack :P There’s just something about seeing him - and the way his eyes light up when he sees me - that makes my heart settle. I seriously can’t describe it, but it’s like a jolt of electricity that recharges me for the rest of the day.

If they are so set on Clueless maybe I can get Daniel dressed as the stepbrother - I don’t remember his name but you know the one. (Seriously why am I the only one who finds that movie weird?)

Everything’s getting a big hectic at the moment but basically, current to-do list:

Talk to Mike about a song choice - preferably tomorrow after class so I can -

Practice the song before meeting up with Mike.

Set up a date to go over to Mike and Will’s.

Maybe wriggle in another dinner invite for mom as well.

Research more costume ideas. Ask people for advice - Will, Mike, Daniel, etc

Finish paper on The Crucible.

Ace Biology test.

Find some time to spend with Daniel

Pray this list doesn’t get longer.

Love, Holly

[ohitshoneybee]

Don’t Fear the Reaper

Chapter 2

FNAF Movie!William Afton x OC

Series Content Warning: SUBJECT TO CHANGE/UPDATE AT ANY TIME, kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, murder, MASSIVE age gap (it’s like 30 years), smut, like, a lot of smut, much more to come I’m sure

Chapter Content Warning: general spook, unsafe driving if you squint, its a very tame chapter

Credit and THANK YOU to @bowersbubbles for the divider and beta reading!

“Let me give you a little backstory,” Steve’s voice came through the small phone speaker as Clara drove. The sudden deluge that hit as she was leaving her apartment was still coming down, only now there was lightning and thunder. “The place was huge with the kids when it opened in the 80s. The only reason it’s still there.. The owner is a bit of a sentimental guy, I guess. The electricity gets a little weird, there’s a breaker in the office if anything happens. I.. guess that’s about it…” Steve pauses for a second. “Just.. keep your eyes on the monitors, keep people out. Piece of cake. I will.. see you soon.” 

The voicemail goes silent for a second and then he hangs up.

“Well.. this place isn’t freaky as shit at all..” Clara flips her phone shut and tosses it into her bag in the passenger seat as she pulls into the parking lot, scanning the building. She doesn’t remember giving Mr. Raglan her personal phone number, but figures she put it on her resumé or CV. “Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria… You’re fucking kidding..“ She pulls her hood up and rifles around on the floor behind the passenger seat, grabbing her umbrella. With a deep breath, she grabs her keys and bag, opens the car door and climbs out, almost running through the parking lot. She rifles for the slip of paper in her pocket for a second, flipping it over to read the code on the back - 1987. She manages to punch in the code on the lockbox with some effort, retrieving the keys for the gate and the front door.

Shaking her umbrella off in the entrance, the door locked behind her, she gets a sudden wave of nostalgia. As Clara takes a couple steps into the dining area and scans the prize counter, it clicks. “Oh my God.. Foxy! Or.. you’re Freddy, I guess. I fucking knew it! God, I haven’t been here in forever!” It takes everything in her to not grab the Freddy plush sitting on an upper shelf. 

Her dad had been on a work trip when he brought back the Freddy she had as a kid, and much like every parent, he couldn’t keep the animatronics straight, telling Clara the plush was called Foxy. Clara fell in love with the plush and insisted on taking it everywhere with her. It later lost its bowtie, and she begged her parents for a new one. Her mom, being as resourceful as she was, fashioned a new pink bowtie for Freddy. Clara deemed it acceptable, and after months of begging, her parents caved and agreed to take her to Freddys for her birthday. She lost the plush there, and was devastated on the flight home. 

Clara passes the counter with a smile plastered on her face and she makes her way to the door labelled ‘Staff,’ pushing it open with an eerie creak. She wanders the back hall for a minute, getting a little familiar with the place before settling in the office for the night. She flips the breaker on and peeks out to the main floor to watch everything light up, brought back to her fondest memories yet again. 

She shuts the door and sits at the desk, perusing the various buttons before pushing one she hopes will turn on the monitors, and it does. She scans the feeds, seeing the main dining area, the entrance, the stages, and a couple hallways before she starts pushing buttons, watching the camera feeds change. She settles on the main entrance, the stages, the arcade and the dining area. She spins in the chair to look around the office, seeing the VCR with the tape sticking out, her name written on white tape on the side. She pushes it in, and the tv turns on.

“Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria!” Clara is greeted with an all too cheery associate dressed in a red and yellow vest, covered in pins. “A magical place for grown ups and kids alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. If you’re watching this video, it means you’ve been selected as Freddy's new security guard, congratulations! We’re going to have so much fun together!” Clara shifts in her chair, leaning back. “The genius who created Fazbear Entertainment opened Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria to indulge in his two greatest passions: family friendly fun, and cutting-edge animatronic technology! State of the art robotic engineering enables our characters to interact with guests in truly lifelike fashion, while cleverly concealed rechargeable lithium cells give them limited range to roam free. Let’s introduce you to the stars of the show!” The associate on screen pressed a big red button, labelled ‘Showtime.’ The audio and video turn to static with a faint visual of Freddy, Chica and Bonnie on the main stage, and Clara can sort of hear music playing under the static. She leans forward and the video reverts to normal, the same friendly associate back on camera, laughing. 

“Adorable, aren’t they? Protecting these cuddly critters, and the proprietary technology that brings them to life is now your sacred duty. Keep them safe, and help ensure that Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria is here to delight, dazzle, and entertain for years to-” The video cuts to static again, and Clara sighs, ejecting the tape. 

“Weird as shit..” She mumbles to herself, spinning in the chair again. She stops facing the desk and scans the cameras once more, changing one to look out front at her car and finding nothing out of the ordinary. She switches it back, and props her face up in her hands, her elbows resting on the desk. 

It’s only about ten minutes before Clara decides she’s had enough and pulls her sketchbook and pencil out of her bag, flipping to a blank page. She starts mindlessly doodling a little rabbit, very clearly a plushie from the cartoon style. It’s her childhood stuffed animal, her first one as a baby, and one she’s managed to keep all 23 years she’s been alive. She moves on, starting to fill the page with cartoon doodles of all the animatronics, Freddy first, then Bonnie, then Chica with her little Cupcake, and finally Foxy. She signs their names under all of them, her rabbit named Bun Bun, and by then, it’s already three in the morning. Three more hours to kill.  Clara flips through the cameras again, looking in on the kitchen, the back hallways, some storage rooms, and behind the curtain on the main stage. She thinks for a split second Freddy was looking at the camera, but as she looks back, he’s right where he’s supposed to be. “Christ.. You guys are gonna give me a heart attack.”

She gets up and stretches before rifling through the locker in the office, finding a grey vest with ‘Security’ across the back, and a flashlight that miraculously works. She dons the vest, several sizes too big for her, and sighs. “Let’s go see Freddy, I guess.”

The office door opens with a creak and the hallway lights are off, save for the emergency floodlights. She spends a couple minutes poking around for the lightswitches and finds them behind the prize counter, flipping them on and watching the spotlights turn on. The prize counter and food window first, then the arcade and dining area. The games light up and ding, and the thick layer of dust on everything is significantly more noticeable with the lights on. 

“God.. it’s filthy in here.. Note to self, dust tomorrow night. And sweep. And probably mop.” She wipes the dust from the light switches on her pants, grimacing at the state of the place as she looks around, setting eyes on the big red button labeled ‘Showtime,’ figuring it’s the same from the training video, and presses it. The main stage curtain flies open, and Freddy, Bonnie and Chica come to life, Foxy doing the same across the room. Music starts playing, Talking In Your Sleep by The Romantics, and Clara starts humming along. It was one of her dads favorite songs when she was growing up, and it rubbed off on her. 

Freddy appears to be mouthing along to the words, earning a chuckle from Clara. “You guys really are something.” She stands and watches as the animatronics sort of dance around on stage, the lights and music stopping when Bonnie short circuits on his guitar. “That’s that, I guess.” She wanders around the arcade and pokes around some of the games, and by the time she makes her way back to the back halls, poking around in the storage rooms. As she’s poking around, she finds a sort of workshop, a Freddy animatronic missing an eye and an ear standing in the middle of the room. In a corner behind some shelves is a couple other animatronics piled up, one looks like a dog and has a bone, the other is generally nondescript but is vividly purple. 

The last is a rabbit. 

Once upon a time, it was a vibrant yellow, almost mustard in color, but now it’s covered in what appear to be oil stains, and there are some tears in the fabric covering. 

“Could not get any creepier in here..” She turns and hustles back to the office, a chill running up her spine, like someone was watching her. 

4:30 am, her watch beeps. An hour and a half left until she can go back to her apartment and catch a cat nap before class. She basically throws herself into the desk chair and goes through the cameras again, and does this till her watch beeps at six am.

[dragonmons]

i still think about how useful spot the robot dog could have been as a disability aid.

i think about it every time i haul my shitty, aching body up two flights of stairs carrying groceries. i think about it when i feel my legs start to fail me, when i feel like im standing on white hot iron nails that are slowly growing up through my shins, my knees, my bad femur. i think about it when i want to grab my meds but theyre too far away from the bed i cant bring myself to get out of. i think about it when im tying my shoes and feeling my heavy ass backpack full of books dragging me back into the couch in the morning.

i think about it when i remember the fall that ended up killing my grandmother. i think about the fact that she was able to use the alexa my mom set up to call for our help and we were able to be by her side in forty seconds, down those same stairs with my joints aching with every step. i think about how even after that, i still dont trust those machines. i watch what i say. i still use it to turn on and off the light by my desk because sometimes it hurts to stand.

i think about that feeling of unease a lot. i think about how easy it is to make a shopping list when it was impossible because of my memory issues before. i think about how my mind is foggy from pain all the time and the reminders help. i think about who might be listening and my fists ball up.

i think about putting my simple robots together, servos to lifter, motor to wheel, speed controller to motor, receiver to controllers, all hooked up to a battery like a heart. i think about how i love my machines, how im surprised at my own hands when i create them and theyre beautiful, tight clean wires and glittering solder carefully wrapped in a sleek matte black sheath of electrical tape. like the instinct to create itself is built in my dna like my teeth my hair my blood. because it is. because my hands are biotech built off a code thousands and thousands of years old, gone through millions of revisions, revisions to streamline, to innovate, to best do what i was built in my entirety to do. a human being is coded to create, to care, to heal, to love, my fingers down to the slightest filaments have been built to carry the electrical signals that make my dreams and the dreams of those i love reality.

and i think of how protective and furious i am when the people around me are taken advantage of by systems made selfish by unapologetic individualism.

how i feel sick with hatred when an institution crushes me down for the sin of surviving meeting the reaper but becoming disabled in the process.

i want to live to see at least the beginning of the fall of cruelty.

and i think about how i feel the same emotions when i look at spot the robot dog, dream about how nice it would be to have help picking up my cane when i drop it, and see that 75 thousand dollar price tag that the police who want me and my friends to continue suffering get to circumvent.

i look at a machine built of passion and love and the same earth im made of and i wonder if ill live to see the world where life is kinder to us.

[forbidden-creepypasta]

Candlecove binges the 4chan archives

Here, I will look deep into the archives of 4chan's /x/ board, and post stuff that I find interesting.

For example, from a reality glitch thread:

When I was growing up, my friend and I would play on the upstairs landing of her house. On one wall was a little door, like an electrical door, that fascinated me. It was almost my height, and closed with an eyehook. One day, we decided to open it. We were a little frightened because we had been told not to touch it, but god dammit, we wanted to know what was behind it. We opened it up… And nothing was there. Just wood paneling. The odd part was that when we knocked on the wood, we heard an echo, suggesting that there was a passage behind the wood.

Now it gets weird, because years later, I went back to her house and wanted to investigate the door some more. But where it should have been, there was only smooth wall. I asked if her father had painted it over, but he hadn't. Even stranger, Hailey had no memory of it. To prove it was real, I knocked on the wall, and it was hollow. Fucking creeped me out.

Edit: Another one, from the same thread:

I was in my English class in middle school. We were playing a guessing game. Whoever could guess the number the teacher was thinking of got candy. I don't remember why we were playing it. Anyway, I really wanted that candy, and, being a stupid 12-year-old, stared really hard at my teacher's head to see if I could read her mind. I dunno, it made sense at the time.

So I'm starting at her, looking like a moron, when the whole room goes white for a second. I blink, and when I can focus again, she has this button on her shirt that wasn't there before. It's orange, and it has the number 17 on it. Right as I read it, I hear a male voice say '17' close to my ear. It surprised me, but it didn't scare me. after a few seconds, the button faded away. I raised my hand and guessed the number 17. Guess who won the candy and scared the hell out of our teacher?

Next is from a "Real Stories" thread:

It was about 6 years ago now. My parents had gotten their divorce, and after spending 2 years previously with my drunk of a father, I decided to live with my mom instead. I was already old enough to move out, I simply didn't have any opportunities to do so at the time.

So I moved into an empty room at my mom's place. Due to everything being chaotic, and lack of funds, I didn't have an actual bed at the time. So I instead got a lovely air mattress covered in duct tape in nigh-futile attempts to prevent deflation. Wonderful. Oddly enough though, I was able to get my hands on a TV, since my friends had a spare one lying around. I set that up near the door of the room, across from the mattress.

The house was a small rental. It was cheap, and it was terrible. The windows weren't double-paned, so there was a serious dust problem, and there were small cracks where spiders and ants constantly made their way in. To make matters worse, my mom had two very hairy dogs which she never seemed to bathe, and so the dust and dead bugs were coated with a second carpet weaved of discarded dog fur. The worst part? It was STILL better than living with my dad.

Anyways, the weird shit started pretty innocuously. I'd lost lots of sleep since every time my body hit the floor through the deflating air mattress, I'd wake up. Usually this happened several times a night. Being intuitive, though, I had managed to arrange a massive glut of pillows beneath me into a pseudo-mattress, and sleep would continue until I fell off.

Then I became aware that not every time I woke up was caused by the mattress.

I started realizing that sometimes, just in that half-asleep haze, where your eyes are still closed, but you're vaguely aware that your sleep has been interrupted, I'd hear a combination of static and a whispering voice.

The voice was unclear at first. It sounded simply like my brother was talking in his sleep in the next room, something he'd done since he was little. (He also tends to sleep-walk, which always creeped me out.) So I figured it was my imagination.

But then, as I got used to these cuts into my nightly schedule, I got into the routine of immediately opening my eyes when sleep ended, to speed up the process of returning to sleep. So one night, I wake up, and see my TV is on with static on, for about half a second before going black. Shrug it off, back to sleep.

A few nights later, the voice started becoming louder and clearer. "Help me", "It's all gone", lots of weird phrases were what I heard, as well as my own name. Obviously, got freaked out quite a bit from this, but I was aware of my sleeping issues and some slight depression and hallucinations in my past, so I convinced myself to ignore it and keep sleeping.

On top of this, there were some weird issues starting to crop up during the day. First of all, there was a child in town with some sort of birth defect. She was actually around 25, but due to the defect, she had the body of a slightly-deformed child, and the face of an old lady who just got punched a lot. Weird enough, she would just walk into homes if you left the door unlocked. She did this a lot. It's not connected to anything else here, it just made the place seem all the weirder.

Second of all, TVs and radios all around the house would turn on and off spontaneously from time to time. This could be again explained away, but more weird stuff at the same time makes you question the explanations, you know?

And third, and probably weirdest, were the absurd mood swings. I'd be perfectly happy one moment, and then suddenly crying uncontrollably for no reason FOR AN HOUR. My brother and mom had similar issues. My brother would get inexplicably angry, and my mom would get inexplicably scared, etc, etc. The weird part was that we were fully aware that we had no reason for any of the moods, but we just had the mood for no reason.

Then, after some time of everything going on like that, once again, I woke up in the dead of night to static and whispers of my name. As per standard operating procedures, I opened my eyes, pulled my body up, and looked toward the TV and door.

There, peeking out from the hall was the silhouette of a girl. Pitch-black, with white holes for eyes, and long black hair. It was only a quick second, then, as the TV turned off, she disappeared.

I damn near shit myself. I refused to sleep in my room any longer. That face convinced me that everything up until now was not simply a coincidence, and that there was something seriously wrong with the house. I was afraid of the whole house, but that room in particular was the worst one.

And before you say it, it was not the birth defect girl. She never comes out at night, and besides, the door was locked (as it was most often those days).

So I set up camp in the living room. There was no space on the floor, and there was no couch…the only place to sleep was a small loveseat which barely held 2/3 of my body's length. I managed to work it so that I would sleep in a half-sitting half-lying position across the length of it though, with pillows as a mattress.

But that wasn't enough. I was still scared shitless, and sleepless. So I decided to start leaving the lights on, and letting the dogs sleep beside me out there. Also, I started playing music while I slept. Anything to keep everything in that house off my mind.

But the TV out in the living room also suffered from the static issues. So I decided to set the TV every night to a Disney movie, and sleep with it on. Make fun of me if you want, I was scared of everything in that house, and Disney movies were the safest thing I could think of.

Of course, I told my mom and brother about it, since I had to explain my weird actions to them. They agreed that it was weird, but suggested I see a psychiatrist again as soon as possible. Looking back, it still could have been a psychiatric issue, but hey, hindsight is 20-20.

After a couple months of that, one night, I was woken up again (Nowadays, I was woken up by the sounds of Disney films rather than from static and whispers.) I heard a sound from down the hall. A slight whisper, or whimper, or something. Still can't place it exactly, all I know is, it sounded very very sad.

I still can't figure out why I decided it would be a good idea to figure out what was making the sound. It was a momentary lapse in sanity, or a momentary lapse in insanity, depending on how you see it. But nonetheless, I went down the hall, only to find that the sound came (surprise, surprise!) from my former room.

I turned the doorknob, and opened the door, and walked in, to find the entire room BLACK, but glowing with red-orange. The red-orange was coming from cracks in the walls, ceiling, and floor. The sound of static filled the room, and then I realized that it wasn't the sound of static, it was the roaring of flames licking the side of the room. And there, in the corner, in a fetal position, was the silhouette girl, making that same sad noise, and whispering various things throughout.

I ran away screaming. I know I woke up my family, and probably woke up a couple other people in the area. I ran out of the house, half-crying from fear. My mom came up to me, and managed to calm me down. She gave me a couple Advil PM's (The closest we could find to sleeping pills in the house) and I watched Lilo & Stitch until I passed out in the living room. And my former room? Well, it was normal whenever anyone went to check.

My nights were all drug-induced from that point forward. We ended up moving out a month or two after that, and as soon as we moved out, I got not only a new bed, but some serious sleep. The visions and whispers and mood swings disappeared the MOMENT we left that house.

Like I said, it could be electrical issues and hallucinations and lack of sleep. That's all possible. But whether it was that, or a gateway to hell, or a haunting from a girl who died in a fire, I just know I am never setting foot in that house again.

Me again, guys; did you miss me? From a recent post in /x/:

She just sat there, in a ball, sobbing. She kept saying "I'm sorry, I know I hurt you, I'm sorry". It's amazing how people think that saying sorry magically fixes everything. It's just a word, it means nothing, it solves nothing, comforts nobody and definitely doesn't justify what you're apologizing for 99% of the time. Her sobs turned to tears, they seemed to be genuine tears, apologetic tears, horrified tears. I think she finally understands that I'm not like her, when she said sorry for leaving me, she didn't mean it, she didn't care. When I leaned in and whispered in her ear that tonight was going to be her last, she knew I meant it.

[beatfreesmysoul]

"Happy birthday, Peter~" A happy, genuine celebration. Really. A lot of things may be said about her, but let it not be said she doesn't wish people good things on their birthday. And provide them with great birthday presents. "I'm sure there is still quite a bit of America you haven't seen. ...Well, for some places that's maybe a good thing. But I thought perhaps you might like to try something different. Travel for a reason." A smile, a shrug of her shoulders, and a simple statement as she told him her gift, "I thought tickets to a music festival might be just the sort of birthday gift you may like." A pause. "It is not a techno festival, I couldn't bring myself to do that. Happy birthday."

@writteninscarlet pressed play!

It felt unsettling in a way, the first birthday he'd had on his home planet in decades. Part of it felt like any other day since he'd returned, yet another part filled in the gaps, memories coming back clearer than they had for quite some time. Memories of waking up to a smell of a cake already baking in the oven, coming downstairs to both a chorus of Happy Birthday first, then September. His mom always had been thrilled for him to have two birthday songs, and neither could ever be neglected to be sung, the latter being danced to.

He'd expected it to be a quiet affair, all the people he'd have expected to celebrate it absent for one reason or another, but Wanda had arrived, her greeting bringing a surprised yet welcoming expression to his features. He'd only mentioned it in passing, because who wouldn't when the song you shared a birthday with was playing, but for her to remember? It was a kindness he hadn't accounted for.

"Thanks, Wanda, it's great of you to stop by." The thought would've been enough, but as she continued to talk, curiosity morphed into disbelief, then excitement, a bright grin spreading.

"Are ya' kiddin'--there ain't no might about it, that's right up there with the best birthday gift I've ever gotten! We'll get to hear loads of new bands, an' live music is just an entirely different experience, an' the energy of the crowd's gonna be electric an' just bring a whole other element to the music--least, that's what it sure looks like in every tape of a live performance I've ever seen. This is gonna be amazin'! What kinda music festival is it? We gonna road trip, or do you wanna take my ship there? Where's there? Who's gonna be there?"

Yes, he was almost tripping over his own sentences in growing excitement, eyes brighter than they had been in longer than he'd ever admit, only pausing for breath for sincere appreciation to permeate every word. "This is really thoughtful of ya; thank you."

[toomanysurveys9]

[chasingghosts @ bzoink]

What can you smell right now?   Lilli’s rat cage because it’s in the living room and needs cleaned. Again.

What was the last thing you bought online?   Decorations for Erin’s baby shower because she was freaking out and talking about canceling it.

If you drink coffee, when was the last time you went a day without having one?   I do drink coffee. But most days I go without it.

Do you have any appointments coming up?   Not currently.

Do you put appointments in your phone’s calendar app to remember them?   I try. But I’m better at writing them down in my agenda.

Will you be visiting anyone’s house in the next week or so?   We will be going to Nick’s dad’s house for my sister’s baby shower.

Have you ever been to a petting zoo? What animals did you pet?   Yeah. I always pet goats and bunnies.

What was the last movie you saw in theatres?   The newest Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

Do you know anyone who has done a PhD?   I mean, my doctor obviously. One of the BCBAs that worked at my job was super close to getting their PhD but they left at the beginning of the month.

How many unread emails are in your inbox right now?   In the main mailbox part, probably at least 100.

What four apps do you keep on the home bar on your iPhone? (Sorry, I’m not sure if Android has an equivalent!) I don’t have an iPhone. But I have contacts, messages, camera, and google I think.

Have you ever used Tumblr? Do you still use it today?   Obviously I do, although not nearly as much as I would like to these days. BUT I’m almost done done with school and hopefully that will free some time.

Are you tired right now?   I am absolutely exhausted.

What’s your favourite day of the week and why?   Fridays. It’s the start of the weekend and that’s usually when Jake is able to do things with me, like go to dinner.

How far away is the nearest major city?   Not that far.

Do you own an electric kettle?   Nope.

Are your eyebrows wispy or bushy?   Bushy.

Have you ever lost your wallet or purse? Did you have to replace a bunch of things?   I lose my wallet ALL THE TIME. It’s probably one of Jacob’s pet peeves about me.

Where are you right now? Describe the room or place to me.   In the living room. It has a bookshelf full of DVDs and VCR tapes. A multi-level rat cage. A couple toy boxes overflowing with toys for Nora, as well as some bigger toys that don’t fit in the toy box. A couple black shelves that are full of all sorts of random shit, mostly Jacob’s, although it also has some piles of miscellaneous books on it too. There are two couches that are a dark-ish gray, and a black recliner.

Do you prefer big dogs or small dogs?   Big dogs are my favorite, but I don’t mind little dogs either.

Are you good at understanding heavy accents? Which accents would you say you’re the best at understanding?   It just depends on the accent I guess.

Have you ever played on a real life pinball machine, or just on the computer?   I’ve played a real one at an arcade.

Do you have a lot of word documents or notes on your computer?   I have a ton of word documents because I use my computer for school, which involves writing a lot of papers.

What’s your favourite Ben & Jerry’s flavour?   I don’t know. I don’t really eat Ben & Jerry’s too often.

Have you ever been to a school reunion? How was it?   I have not been to one. We were supposed to have one not too long ago because we didn’t get to do one last year but it never happened.

How many nights a week do you generally cook at home?   I cook two nights a week. My mom cooks two nights a week. And Brian cooks two nights a week. Then we have one night for leftovers or whatever you want.

What colour are the street signs in your neighbourhood? Are they the same all over town or do they vary?   Green. They are all mostly green although I guess I’ve seen a few blue too I think.

Do you have good grammar and punctuation skills?   For the most part. Then there are times when I obviously do not care.

Have you ever tried vegan chicken? Did you like it? I have not had it, nor do I want to.

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part One

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: I’ve written a decent portion of this but know I won’t keep writing it or post it unless I hold myself accountable and get it out there in the first place 🙈 I haven’t written much for Marvel yet but I’ve read plenty and have written for other fandoms in the past (not to mention the writing degree on my wall lol). I’ll try to post every 2-3 days to keep this moving! And if you like it and want to, buy me a coffee!

No one knew Tony Stark had a daughter. No one but Tony Stark and his daughter. Well, and her step-mom Pepper. And her godfather Rhodey. And her uncle-not-uncle Happy. But no one in their everyday lives knew. She was given her mother’s maiden name and kept a secret, even when she turned 17 and moved to a small apartment near NYU’s campus (with Happy stationed right next door, of course) to start life as a truly normal adult, or as close to normal as an undercover Stark could be. When she graduated with her PhDs in robotics and electrical engineering at 25 — proving brains really do run in the family — she moved into her own apartment in Manhattan, funded by her father under the pseudonym “Michael Myers.” Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Fortunately for you, growing up without the Stark name let you live a relatively normal life. It also allowed you to apply for a position within Stark Industries without being ushered past any red tape because of who your father is. Outside of the financial advantage you had, you worked for your spot in a STEM career. You suffered through every man in your field belittling your work despite knowing less than you. You dealt with the constant interruptions and “well, actually” because of your gender. You powered through late nights and early mornings when your mind was flowing too smoothly to quit.

The last thing you wanted to do was have all that work disregarded because you shared a name with genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. So you filled out the application, sent in your resume and cover letter, and attached three letters of recommendation from your professors. You went through hours of interviews, background checks (conveniently redacting your father’s name), and polygraph tests until that offer letter showed up in your email. You even had to sign the Non-Disclosure Agreements that would bar you from discussing *anything* work-related with anyone outside of your department.

You spent your first year in the weapons analysis department, evaluating alien weaponry and determining how it worked and how to disable it. You had your fair share of mishaps, of course. Holes blasted into walls, fried robot dummies, even burnt animal carcasses. By the end of your first year, your supervisor sent a commendation and proposal for you for an undisclosed promotion. After Pepper Potts “thoroughly examined your resume, cover letter, and accomplishments during your tenure with Stark Industries,” as the letter read, you were awarded a position working on the Avengers’ weapons as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist. You’d never see a fight in-person, but you were assigned to work on advancements and post-battle repairs for everyone, from the Winter Soldier’s arm to the Falcon’s wings to Vision’s... everything. The only heroes you wouldn’t work on were Iron Man and War Machine (those were your dad’s territory) and Spider-Man.

On your first day in your new position, the one and only Pepper Potts showed you to your new lab on the 47th floor. It took all your willpower to look your step-mother in the eye and say, “Wow, Miss Potts. This is amazing. It’s such an honor to meet you,” with a straight face to convince any passerby that you had no outside affiliation with her. Even if her eyes stayed steady on you, you could see her mentally rolling them.

Once you were alone behind the doors of the elevator, conversation changed course.

“You’re going to be sharing a lab with someone else,” Pepper said.

“Sweet. As long as they’re competent, that’s fine by me,” you shrugged. Part of earning your degrees was learning to share a workspace with others, even those who bumbled and fumbled with no idea what they were doing. You’d had more hair singed by nearby explosions than you’d like to admit.

“He’s still in college so he’s not here as often as the others. Most of his work will be on Spider-Man’s gadgets and suit, but you can use him for any help you need.”

Walking past the familiar faces of Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho in their respective labs, Pepper ushered you into your lab, where you were met by your father and put on the same excited facade you did with Pepper.

“Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark! This is incredible! It’s such an honor to meet you, sir!”

He shook his head at you and reluctantly accepted your outstretched hand. Oh, the jokes you’d be making at family dinners.

“Yeah, anyway, this is your new lab, Miss [Y/L/N]. Make yourself at home. This lab rat over here is mister Parker. If you have any questions, he can at least bullshit an answer for you.”

The young man on the other side of the lab perked up at the sound of his name. He tugged the goggles off his face and set down his soldering rod to rush over to you.

“Hi. Hi, I’m Peter,” he said, reaching his hand out to you.

“I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you, lab partner.”

He looked to be a bit younger than you and at least relatively smart, if the MIT sweatshirt peeking out from under his lab coat said anything. If your dad gave him an internship like this, you knew you shouldn’t question it. He had to be a genius.

The kid just smiled at you, continuing to shake your hand past what most would deem socially acceptable.

“Okay, enough of that,” Tony said, pushing on your joined hands to separate you two. “Mister Parker might be in and out of the lab from time to time. He joins the Avengers on the occasional recon mission for immediate repairs but since he’s on break from classes, you’ll see him more often than not. Play nice.”

When he noticed you surreptitiously looking Peter up and down, he added, “Remember, no fraternizing with coworkers.” He pointed a finger directly at you before he spun and pointed to your fellow lab mate, realizing he should warn Peter too to save face.

“All the blueprints you need for the Tin Man’s arm are in the system. We’ll have you start on that and see what you can do about minimizing the sound that thing makes. Any other questions, give Pep a call.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really do appreciate everything,” you said genuinely.

“Yeah, well… don’t let me down,” he replied, patting you on the shoulder on his way out. Pepper followed close behind, leaving you alone with Peter Parker.

“So Peter,” you started, sliding onto the lab chair next to where he remained standing, “tell me about yourself.”

“Uh… what do you want to know?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“How old are you?” you asked immediately.

“I’m 21.”

Only four years younger than you. So you’d probably get along just fine.

“I assume you’re at MIT?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

“Biomolecular and mechanical engineering.” He said it so casually, you’d think he was talking about the last song he heard on the radio.

“Damn,” you responded, eyes wide. “I thought robotics and electrical engineering was wild but fuck, that sounds like hell.”

He laughed and nodded, letting a bit of the tension in his shoulders fall. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.”

He shot you a small smile before gesturing back at his project. “I should probably get back to work and let you get started.”

For the rest of the day, you familiarized yourself with the Winter Soldier’s arm to figure out how to… turn the volume down? You assumed it was the gears inside causing the noise, but part of you wanted to outfit an audio jack and speaker just to fuck with your dad.

You and Peter worked in relative silence, aside from the playlist he had quietly playing through the lab sound system. When lunch rolled around, however, you finally spoke up.

“Hey Peter,” you called, his eyes flicking from the chemical beakers in front of him up to you. “First of all, what are you doing?”

“Um, it’s Spider-Man’s web fluid. Just trying to find more durable combinations.”

“Interesting.” As much as you wanted to touch the stringy substance, you knew better than to fiddle with someone else’s lab work. “Okay so second thing, in my last position, I’d just order food and have it brought to my floor but now that I’m on an exclusive floor, what do you do for lunch?”

“Oh, there are a couple security guys who have clearance to come into this floor. They just can’t get into any rooms so you’d have to meet them at the elevator. But I usually find something in the kitchen down the hall.”

“Oh, sweet. Thanks!” you said as you made your way out the door. Before you could fully exit, you turned back to see if Peter wanted you to grab anything. Once he promised he’d take his own break ‘once I get this one thing figured out,’ you continued to make your way to the kitchen.

As you drew closer to the doorway, you could hear three voices speaking over each other. They didn’t sound angry, but they were definitely arguing. You opened the door anyway and almost immediately froze in your tracks. The Falcon stood with one hand on his own head and one on the Winter Soldier’s head while Captain America rolled his eyes before those same eyes landed on you, along with the rest of the room.

“Perfect,” Sam started. “Hey new girl, between the three of us,” he said, pointing to himself, the Soldier, and the Captain, “who has the best hair?”

“First of all, my name is [Y/N]. Second,” you continued, making your way past them to the fridge you hoped your dad kept stocked with goodies, “that’s an unfair question.”

You grabbed a soda and popped it open before turning back to the three men. “Your hair suits each of you. Cap wouldn’t look good with Winter Soldier hair and Falcon wouldn’t look good with Cap’s hair.” You took a few steps closer, leaning against the island counter between you and eyeing each of them. Your eyes settled on the Winter Soldier, unashamedly flitting across his face and admiring the sharpness of his features. “You,” pointing at him, “could probably pull off either of their looks, though.”

Bucky smirked at you, but his rosy cheeks gave away a hint of embarrassment at your compliment. Steve and Sam, on the other hand, weren’t taking it quite as gracefully.

“What?!” Sam shouted. “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I could pull off Cap’s hair for sure.”

“You know, I think shaggy hair would really suit me,” Cap said, only half sarcastically.

You giggled to yourself as the three of them started talking over each other again, all dead set on their own hair being the best of them and positive they could pull off the others’ looks. While they bickered, you searched the pantry until you found a snack to at least get you through the remainder of the day.

“Alright boys, it’s been fun but I have work to do,” you said as you walked past them again. “Actually, wait. Bucky — can I call you Bucky?” He nodded even though you continued anyway. “If you could stop by lab six today, I’d love to check out your arm in person. The digital renderings aren’t quite the same.”

“Uh, okay. Sure. I’ll find you,” he said quietly.

“Sweet, thanks!” And with that, you skedaddled back to your lab.

[reidisreading]

Sleep Deprivation - Spencer Reid x Reader

Writing Prompt: Spencer Reid is so sleep deprived he doesn’t notice his actions and accidentally crosses a line with reader. Reader ends up being abducted by unsub and Spencer has to make a choice towards his feelings to reader.

POV: Third Person POV but following certain characters.

Spencer Reid with they/them Reader

Type: angst with fluff at the end

warnings / trigger warnings: abduction, mentions of killing, subtle mentions of some sort of mental illness, reader gets hurt physically (punching, etc.), mild cursing.

*author note* Hi, this is my first story and I just wanted to get it out of my google drive page. I didn’t proofread this at all so there’s probably plenty of mistakes (if there is just tell me). I promise future stories will be a lot better than this. 

*word count: 4,100*

To the outside world, Spencer Reid was the perfect person in control of all aspects of his life. 

The problem with Spencer Reid was that he was too smart and active for his own safety. He struggled with sleep deprivation among other things that made it hard for him to keep track of himself. At this exact moment he was struggling with holding six hours of sleep in the last three days. He knows the dangers, he sees statistics, but when he closes his eyes all he can do is see Y/N in danger like in their last case and he can’t go through that. Not again, not when he was the one that found them all bloodied and almost unconscious. This was Spencer’s third cup of coffee in just that morning and the clock hadn’t turned to seven thirty, yet. He finished the last sip and rushed out the door to head to the subway, his hatred for driving now a good thing with his exhaustion getting in the way. A buzzing came from his satchel as he got on his seat, the subway less full than usual. SSA Hotchner Calling 

“Good morning.” Reid’s husky voice shone through the speaker. 

“Good morning, Reid, we have a new case in California, how far away are you?” Hotch said anxiously.  

“Twenty five minutes away, including the walk.” Reid says confidently. 

“Okay, head straight to the bullpen on your way in. We have no time to waste.” Hotch says before hanging up the phone. Reid finished reading the book he started that same morning and moved on to the second book he had stashed in his bag on his way out. 

“Platform-.” He wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings as he got off the cart and walked towards his job. The smell of the station made his nose hurt as he remembered previous cases of ill intent people doing foul things to their surroundings. 

Get it together, Reid. You can’t walk in there distracted, they’ll know something is wrong. You can’t have Penelope and JJ worried all over you. You especially can’t have Y/N worried for you, you need to keep your head leveled around them. 

It was probably easy to guess that their last case had taken the hardest toll on Spencer. His feelings for Y/N making it difficult to concentrate when the unsub had taken them as a means to keep the FBI scared. Spencer had spent most of his time away in a small office hunched over papers and profiles trying to get them back. 

“Good morning, Doctor Reid.” The receptionist greeted the young doctor. 

“Good morning!” Spencer said in a matched tone. He walked to the elevator, hitting the familiar key without looking at it at all. 

Okay, you need to wake up and be alert. No dozing off like you’ve been doing today. You have a job to do, people are counting on you. Spencer repeated the same words to himself like a mantra until he saw the clear doors to the BAU main office. 

Penelope Garcia POV

We have a tablet for Hotch, Rossi, JJ, Emily, of course, Chocolate Thunder, and using paper we have Spencer Reid and Y/N Y/L/N. They would be so cute together, those two. I know I could find a way for Hotch to let them be together if only they would admit their feelings for each other, this is ridiculous. It’s very obvious to everyone but those two that they’re the perfect match made. Ironic how the two smartest people to enter this building are too oblivious to notice this. If I had a nickel for every time-

“How we looking, Baby Girl?” Morgan interrupted Garcia from her ramble. 

“Like I’d rather be watching something where someone doesn’t die.” She answered annoyed. 

“Don’t we all?” He shook his head as he took his tablet, scanning some of the images, the flash of hurt running through his facial features like a marathon. 

“Okay, we’re just waiting for Reid but he should be here any second.” Hotch says stressed while sitting down. The rest of the team, sans Reid, pile into the room taking their respective seats. Everyone opens their files on their tablets while Y/N scans through their paper folder. 

“Where is Pretty Boy?” Morgan asked looking directly at Y/N as if they would know anything; thankfully Y/N was too focused on the case in front of them to pay any attention. 

“Stop it.” Garcia whispered to him. Morgan looked at her and laughed while shaking his head. 

It’s safe to say that the entire team knew that those two were crushing on each other, they had that energy about them. 

Garcia got up from her seat, ready to direct the team along JJ on their latest case when the Boy Genius walked into the room in a hurry, his satchel already in his hands ready to be removed from his body. 

“I’m sorry, there was a minor mishap and- not important, sorry.” He said while moving towards his seat which was conveniently next to Y/N’s. He stopped next to them, giving them a light kiss on the head before moving to his seat, the small action causing everyone in the room to fall into a heavy silence. He didn’t seem to notice this small movement as he continued on with his regular routine of taking everything off to focus on the file in front of him. “What’s going on in California?” He asked looking up at Garcia, only to notice her stunned expression. “What?” He asked looking at the rest of the team, noticing their silence and awkward glances at each other. The only one not looking at anyone in particular was Y/N. 

“Nothing.” Garcia said while turning around to look at the slide show. 

“Family in California was brutally murdered in their home. Father was moved away from them, from the shows of it, it seems to have been postmortem.” Garcia says while looking at JJ frantically. 

“Two children were left in the closet- I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Reid, what was that?” Hotch asked while he asked JJ to pause the slideshow and turned to look at one of the two younger members of the team. 

“Hotch, no.” Garcia whispered. He’s going to ruin everything! No! We FINALLY have something that officially indicates one of them feels something. 

“I-I don’t understand?” Reid says confused. 

“Pretty Boy coming out of his shell.” Morgan chuckles. 

“What?” Reid asks, still confused. 

“You just kissed Y/N.” Emily says sliding closer to him. 

“I did what?” Reid asked with a raised tone. 

“Reid, what’s going on?” Rossi asks. 

“I don’t- I don’t know.” Reid said genuinely concerned.

“You look tired.” Emily said, “well, I mean, more than usual.” She says worried. 

“I mean, I haven’t really slept but it’s not that bad.” 

“How much is ‘not that bad’?” Hotch asks. 

“Six.” Reid whispered. 

“Six hours daily?” Hotch presses. 

“The last three days.” Reid finishes. 

“Reid, no.” Emily says sadly. 

“Can we get back to the case?” Reid asks, the entire room shifting energy. Y/N staying quiet as possible. It didn’t slip anyone’s notice that Y/N didn’t try to move from Reid, it was almost like they were shifting closer to him. 

“Okay, uhm, two children were left in the closet, their hands tied behind their back and their mouths covered with electrical tape. It seems like most of the extra things the unsub did were postmortem because the children were tied and silenced after this unsub killed them.” Garcia said. 

“The mom seems to have had the most anger targeted. She had leisure wounds around her neck and wrists, but that’s not what killed her. She was drowned in the bathtub, and it seems he may have stabbed her multiple times postmortem, too.” Y/N says as they go through their own file. 

“Maybe they had a bad relationship with a maternal figure and they’re looking for ways to get back at her.” Rossi says. 

“Any reason why the unsub may have targeted this family?” Hotch asks. 

“None that I’ve found yet, sir.” Garcia answers. 

“Okay, wheels up in thirty. Reid, I need to talk to you privately.” Hotch says as he dismisses the team. 

Arron Hotchner I will have a word with you.

Spencer Reid POV

“I need you to stay at the base for this one.” Hotch says automatically. 

“What? No, I can’t.” Reid replies. 

“Yes. What happened there is only a glimpse of what can happen in the future, Reid. I cannot take the risk with the rest of the team. You stay here, work the case, and rest up. Sleep deprivation can cause memory loss and you’re already seeing the side effect. I can’t put you or others in danger.” 

“Hotch, please.” Reid whispers. 

“Y/N will be okay, I promise Reid.” Hotch said sternly. 

“That’s not-.” Reid cut himself short. 

“Your job now is to stay here and look at everything we can’t. Come up with theories. I have to go.” Hotch starts to walk away, “and I want you to get home at a reasonable time to sleep. I need you in future cases.” He finishes, walking towards the last of his paperwork and walks out of the room. Reid looks around the room and spots Penelope at the door, trying (and failing) to look inconspicuous. 

“Let’s go Pen.” Reid calls out to her and picks up his own file. 

“Reid, I don’t think Y/N-.”

“Pen, please.” Reid stops mid track, “I’m not allowed to go and I’m already exhausted as it is. Please, let’s just focus on this.” He says to her as he turns around and comes face to face with Y/N. “Hi.” He whispers. 

“Hi.” 

“Are you- is everything okay?” He hushes. 

“Yeah, I just came to say bye to you both. We’re on our way out.” Y/N replies looking at Reid like a fragile doll, if they moved too fast, he may break. 

“Be safe.” He says, almost so quiet they miss it. 

“Always am.” Y/N replied with a smile, “see you, Pen.” They waved at each other before Y/N finally walked away from them. 

“Oh you’re smitten to the T.” Penelope teased. 

“Penelope Garcia, there’s a room we need to get to and have no time to talk nonsense.” Reid said frustrated. 

“Oh, we can most definitely talk while we’re in there mister Doctor Genius.” She giggled walking away from him. 

“No, Penelope.” He says in a rushed tone as he jogs behind her. 

————————

“Hello my furry friends, what can I do ya for?” Penelope asked in an enthusiastic tone. 

“I need you to give me any and all financial statements about this family. Down to what they spent money on leisurely.” Hotch said not bothering to comment on her strange wording. 

“Anything I should be looking for?” She asked. 

“Yes, anything that may have been spent on from time to time. No cycle, something that if anyone looking wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow.” Emily pipes in. 

“Reid?” Y/N called out, Reid’s cheeks automatically turning a bright red, he’s ears matching. 

“Yeah?” He asked in a high pitched tone before clearing his throat, calling out to them again, “how can I help?” He asked. 

“I found some letters and cards and they look like different people wrote them but I need you to read in between the lines and assign who wrote which letter.” Y/N said picking up the different notes and holding them to the camera, “I’m going to have JJ scan these and send them to Pen, if she could please do the rest so I can have a detailed explanation of the potential unsub.” They finished explaining. 

“Yeah, I’ll have them finished for you as soon as I can.” Reid said confidently. 

“Thanks Spence.” The team said their goodbyes. 

“Oh you’ve got it bad, Lover Boy.” Penelope said through giggles. 

“I don’t know what that means.” Reid said uncomfortably. 

“That Y/N called you ‘Spence’ and you just about melted.” She teased. 

“That’s not true.” 

“Oh come on! When are you going to just get it over with and ask them out?” Penelope asked in a serious tone. 

“Never, they don’t like me and I probably made them uncomfortable today with something I don’t even remember doing.” He fiddled with his pencil. 

“Have you asked them?” 

“No.”

“Then, you don’t know.” Penelope finished turning back to her computers seeing the files JJ sent, “Come on Boy Genius, your future significant other has work for you.” She said excitedly. 

—————————

“Reid, another family was murdered twenty minutes ago, do you have anything that could lead us?” Hotch stressed. 

“Yes, it seems all these families have in common is their religious beliefs and where they do grocery shopping.” He said going through his own paperwork. 

“Those are two completely different things.” Emily said. 

“No, because all three families come from the same neighborhood, down to the same economic standard. That means they all went to the same place of prayer and they all shop from the same places. It goes down to us having already interviewed the unsub.” Y/N says, paper shuffling is heard by Garcia and Reid as Y/N moves around the room with the rest of the team. 

“They’re right. We concluded that the unsub is a white male in their mid twenties who comes from a household deprived of a mother figure or a divorce household. From the way the murders are being done, it shows they have a previous criminal record with small crimes, maybe petty theft or something big like sexual assault.” Reid goes on. 

“In that case, we have only interviewed twenty people. Garcia, can you narrow down the list?” Hotch asked. 

“You must be new here.” She says with an eye roll. 

“Keep us updated.” Emily smiles. 

“Stay safe.” Reid says, everyone knowing he’s truly directing it to one person, “all of you, stay safe.” He covers up before hanging up. 

Jennifer Jareau’s POV

“Hey, Y/N?” JJ had wanted to speak with Y/N since they got out of the bullpen but for one reason or the other never got the chance. 

“Hey, JJ.” Y/N smiled at the blonde. 

“I know what Spencer did today was out of norm. Are you okay?” She asked. JJ knew neither of the Doctors were big on being touched unless they initiated it. 

“I’m okay.” The young Doctor assured her. 

“Can I ask you something?” JJ started, “I’m probably way out of line and you don’t have to answer but…” She started off testing the water, she kept an eye on Y/N making sure they weren’t uncomfortable at any moment, “do you like Spencer?” JJ finished. 

The words coming out of their mouth wasn’t what gave them away, it was the way their cheeks and neck flared up in red pigmentation as their hands dropped the small cup of coffee they were holding, which had thankfully been empty. 

“What? No, that’s- JJ, I do not like anyone.” Y/N stammered and failed to control their movements. 

“Oh, I’m so glad to have asked you instead of Penelope.” JJ started laughing. 

“I do not like… JJ it is wrong to make assumptions of others. It’s- JJ, no.” Y/N continued. 

“Babe, it’s okay. Everyone and their mom’s can see that you and Spencer have a thing. For being the two smartest people I know… you’re both very daft.” JJ said sweetly. 

“I actually don’t think he likes me, JJ. I noticed that his behavior towards me changed into a more protective one after we finished the case. I think he’s guilty because he was meant to stay with me and we got separated.” Y/N said sadly. 

“You cannot possibly be serious.” JJ questioned. 

“I am.” Y/N retorted. 

“That man is in love with you.” 

“No.” Y/N said as they picked up the empty cup they’d previously dropped. “Anyway, we need to finish this before anyone else dies.” 

“Y/N…” 

“Hotch is waiting.” Y/N left the small room. 

When JJ walked outside, the rest of the team was doing a video call with Garcia and Reid. Y/N was busy looking through a stack of papers while Garcia gave more information about the possible unsub. 

“Hey Y/N?” Spencer spoke up once Garcia finished.

“I’m here.” Y/N left the stack of papers next to them as they paid close attention to Reid. 

Reid cleared his throat twice before he started detailing the information he’d found, “it seems like three people wrote those letters. It wasn’t easy to figure out because the same person switched through hand writings quite easily. So, unless you were looking for it, you wouldn’t have seen it.” Reid finished while holding up the letters now filled with side notes. 

“Thanks, Spence.” Y/N smiled at him before picking up the stacks, “that actually narrows down the unsub to four different people.” They picked up a folder one by one and handed it off to others. 

“Garcia, tell us anything on Tony Carter.” Hotch asks. 

While Garcia was telling them all the smallest details she could find to Tony Carter, Spencer and Y/N both went over the notes again. 

“It’s Jared Tall.” They said in unison. 

“Babies, you can’t just bring out the genius in the middle of my genius.” Garcia said annoyed. 

“How do you know?” Hotch asks the both of them. 

“The notes.” Spencer said like it was obvious. 

“It did catch me off guard how this one was written, but it says Jared Tall.” Y/N said like it was no big deal as they pointed at the small details that brought out the name Jared Tall. 

Y/N’s POV

“Hotch, I’m by the south exit. There’s fresh tracks. I think he’s here.” Y/N told their supervisor. 

“Don’t go in without backup. He’s incredibly dangerous and will take out anyone in his place.” Hotch directed. 

“Copy.” Y/N finished replying when they felt a sharp pain come across their temple making them crash against the ground. The cold surrounded them as did darkness. 

Morgan’s POV

“Morgan, I need you to go to the south exit with Y/L/N. They said there’s fresh tracks and that’s dangerous.” Hotch directed. Morgan didn’t answer and just moved to the exit his supervisor had appointed him to. 

“Hotch, Y/L/N isn’t here.” Morgan said through the radio. 

“What?” Hotch asked. Derek didn’t need the radio to hear his directions towards the rest of the team. 

“Their radio is here, Hotch.” Morgan turned around to face him. 

“They couldn’t have gone too far. I gave them directions two minutes ago.” Hotch said while looking around. He turned his radio on and directed everyone to meet at the front of the abandoned cabin. “I need everyone in a group of three. Dogs need to go with you. Y/L/N has intensive knowledge on how to get out of hostage situations but there’s blood on the floor and they may be unconscious now. There’s a likelihood that the unsub took Y/L/N to the same location he has the rest of his victims, if that’s the case he’ll have two children. You need to be extremely careful and vigilant. We have until sundown.” Hotch dismissed everyone Morgan staying behind with him as Hotch called Garcia. 

“Genie in a lap. You have three wishes.” Garcia said in her usual chirpy voice. 

“Is Reid with you?” Hotch asked. 

“No. He went out to get us lunch.” Garcia said as the blood ran cold through her veins, “sir, please don’t tell me that I have to tell Boy Wonder that the person he’s in love with and he doesn’t even realize loves him back, has been kidnapped again.”

“Y/L/N what?” Hotch and Morgan could hear Reid from the other end of the line. 

“He knows.” Garcia whispered on the line. 

“Reid, I’ve got every agent and officer looking for them. They’ll be okay.” Hotch promised. 

“I’ve heard that before.” Reid said darkly. 

“I’ll call with any updates.” Hotch hung up. 

Y/N POV

I’ve got a concussion for sure. Okay, and one broken rib. I can’t open my eyes or move, definitely blindfolded and hands are tied. Probably underground. By the voices near me there’s two children here as well.  

“The fucking FBI. Fuck.” There was pacing around the room. Only one set of feet were moving around. “If you scream, I kill them.” The unsub said. Not knowing what to do, Y/L/N just nodded. “This wouldn’t have happened if that bitch had just ran away with me.” He continues. 

“Who, Jared?” Y/N asked calmly. 

“Patty!” Jared shouted. “She had to stay with her stupid perfect family. What about me?” He kept shouting uncontrollably. 

“This isn’t your fault Jared. She didn’t deserve you.” 

“You’re right. She had to pay.” Jared kept pacing. 

“Jared, I need you to do me a favour.” Y/N approached. “You need to let the children go. They’re innocent in all of this, just as much as you are.” The added in the end. 

“They’re right, Jared. The children are innocent.” Y/N heard Morgan say evenly. “They’re just as innocent as you. They’d never hurt anyone, just like you.” Morgan approached. Y/L/N could now hear him walking near them. Something must have happened in the ten seconds that there was complete silence, because all Y/N heard after that were three gunshots and suddenly they were being untied. “It’s Morgan, you’re okay, Y/N.” Morgan whispers to them. 

“The children.” Y/N whispers. 

“JJ’s got them.” Morgan replies. 

“I’ve got a broken rib.” Y/N tells him. 

“Anything else?” Morgan asks as he lifts them from the entrance. 

“Nothing I can feel as of now.” They reply surely, “Morgan, Reid is-.”

“He knows you were taken. He’s not happy at the moment.” Morgan replies. 

“Where’s Hotch?” 

“We found another child near here and he’s been assisting on that.” 

“This wasn’t his fault. None of us could have known.” They tell Morgan. 

“Tell that to your lover boy. He’s pissed.” Morgan laughs as he sets them on the bed of the ambulance. 

“He’s not my-.” Y/N starts saying before getting interrupted. 

“He’s in love with you. That makes him Lover Boy.”

Morgan teases. 

“I cannot wait for you to no longer be single.” Y/N teases him. 

“Right back at ya, Pretty Face.” Morgan flicks his finger against their chin and walks away; allowing the first responder to assess their wounds. 

Y/N had to get checked at the local hospital, the rib that had fractured was making it painful for them to breathe and couldn’t wait to get checked in Quantico. 

To say the ride back was long and uncomfortable was an understatement. They’d spend two extra days in California and that was two days too long. 

“You get to see your mans today.” Morgan teased. 

“Hotch, Morgan is being annoying.” Y/N said loudly. 

“Did you just tattle on me?” Morgan asked in mocked surprise. 

“And I’ll do it again.” Y/N said confidently. 

“Behave or I’ll ground you both.” JJ said sternly. Once the jet landed, all their teasing suddenly vanished. Garcia and Spencer were waiting for them at the entrance of the BAU floor. No one said anything as they all hugged each other, Y/N keeping their distance from the team as Spencer gave the rest of the team a small half hug trying not to be rude as his family came in contact with his arms. The all unsubtly excused themselves, giving Spencer and Y/N some privacy. 

Something changed inside Spencer when he found out that Y/N had been abducted. Something shifted, it was like he finally understood he could no longer pretend and show a façade every time he was around them. 

Gravity was working differently now, or maybe it was their legs, neither of them were sure which it was. They crossed the small space between them as Y/N crashed against Spencer’s arms; the world just that much lighter now that neither of them were holding anything in. Spencer held them so tightly he was sure he was going to turn them into dust. 

“Wait, your rib-.” Spencer started. 

“Shh.” Y/N pulled away further from him as they grabbed him by his sweater vest and their lips finally met. 

There was cheering in the near distance but they both pretended they didn’t know what was going on behind them. 

Spencer pulled away for a second causing Y/N to give him a slight pout, “go on a date with me?” Spencer finally asked. 

“Only if you go back to kissing me.” Y/N replied, Spencer attaching their lips together before Y/N could even finish the sentence. 

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

(Some bnha stuff I wrote a few years back)

Toshinori was beginning to suspect that his former teacher had some kind of plot afoot.

Barely a week had passed since the fateful encounter in the mall, and already the retired hero was exchanging almost daily phone calls with Inko. At first, his offer to let the Midoriyas move into his abandoned apartment building seemed purely practical. It was off the grid, more or less, and Gran Torino's hero pension was more than enough to keep electricity and internet supplied for the whole of the building. It looked like it had been condemned, but that just meant he had the run of it.

And at first, Toshinori had encouraged Inko to look into it as a possibility. Surprisingly, she got along well with the occasionally curmudgeonly hero, so he wasn't so worried about them being neighbors. 

But then Sorahiko had started not so subtly dropping hints about "now you'll have an excuse to visit more often", and Toshinori began to worry that perhaps the old man hadn't given up on his matchmaking scheme after all.

He'd almost considered bringing it up to Inko (to warn her, of course!) when he came over to help them pack. But surprisingly, two of his students had turned up looking for Izuku and had ended up staying to help. While appreciated, it did mean certain conversations had to wait.

[[MORE]]

"Whew!" Denki leaned back on his haunches and wiped his forehead. "Is that the last box?"

Tenya squinted at him from over a stack of chairs. "Kaminari, we've only packed away the dining room."

Izuku grinned at his classmate's dismay. He took down a framed photo of his first birthday from the wall and wrapped it in newspaper. 

"You know, you guys didn't, um, didn't have to come help us pack."

Tenya scoffed, as if personally offended by the notion. "But Midoriya! Many hands make the work light, as my brother says!"

"That's true," Izuku mused. "That is why he runs an agency with so many team members."

"Precisely!" Tenya said with a sharp nod. "Besides, as students representing UA High School, it is our duty to help those in need!"

Denki stretched out his aching back and tossed Izuku a roll of packing tape.

"Besides, moving is a hassle. It would totally suck if you had to spend your whole break before the training camp doing this."

Toshinori listened idly from the living room, where he was in the midst of taking down the television. It was a painstaking process, and one that would've been a little easier with One for All. But considering the whole point of the move was to draw attention away from the Midoriyas, that would have defeated the purpose. He had been a little afraid that his other students' spontaneous volunteering would bring up hard to answer questions, but so far neither had done more than greeted him politely. Iida-shounen had just seemed to accept his presence as completely normal. 

The boys had been more surprised by Gran Torino's presence, frankly. And the old man had been gleefully making life difficult for the boys until Inko fussed at him for making her job harder.

As Toshinori eased the television off the table and onto blocks of styrofoam, Inko came bustling through the living room with a spray can of air freshener. 

"Sweaty boys!" she lamented by way of explanation. "I thought I was used to it, but now there's three!"

Toshinori laughed. "They're working pretty hard!" he admitted. "I'll open the windows once they finish in the kitchen."

"Oh, thank you, Yagi-san, it's ripe in here," Inko sighed. "I think there's just the computers, clothes, and Izuku's room left, now. But of course, he insists we leave that to him."

Izuku, on cue, popped out of the hallway where they'd stacked the boxes and chairs. "Don't touch my room!"

He cringed.

"I mean, I mean...I can handle it."

Inko nodded sagely. "He's worried we'll mess up his collectibles."

"Mom!" Izuku yelped, looking a little pale.

As Inko and Toshinori fought and maneuvered until they'd managed to get the television back into its box, Toshinori looked up at Izuku and smirked.

"You know I've seen what your room looks like, right? It's not gonna shock me. I put your unconscious butt to bed when you were sick, remember?"

"Nooo!" Izuku groaned and covered his face. "Toshi-san, that's embarrassing!"

There was a faint thud from down the hall, and a small, plaintive, ow. Izuku forgot his embarrassment for the moment and darted away to make sure nothing was broken. Inko and Toshinori both chuckled at teenaged antics. Toshinori slid the boxed television to the wall, and Inko sprayed the air with the freshener once or twice. Then they stood back to take stock of their handiwork. 

"Toshi-san," Inko said thoughtfully. "That's new for him, isn't it?"

Frankly, she was surprised that Izuku was comfortable using a nickname for All Might like that. It really said a lot about how close they'd grown, and how much Toshinori had been able to coax her son out of his shell.

Toshinori glanced over at her with a shy smile. "Yeah. I like it. Feels more natural for...whatever we all are."

'A family,' came to Inko's mind, but it didn't seem appropriate to say that out loud just yet. Instead she asked, "Well, would you prefer if I called you that as well? Or should I stick to Yagi-san?"

The tall man's eyes lit up noticeably. "I'd be delighted if you felt comfortable calling me Toshi, or Toshinori," he said warmly.

"And nevermind about the suffixes," Torino interjected unexpectedly as he passed by the open doorway, "You'll make him blush otherwise."

He chuckled at their almost guilty jump and dusted his hands off.

"You want us to start moving all this to the truck?"

"Sir, we've been over this, you have to warn people before sneaking up on them like that!" Toshinori complained. 

Torino's smirk grew wider. "I was standing right there in the doorway. You just let yourself get distracted by a pretty face!" he scoffed. 

He shifted his weight -- and his attitude -- and turned to Inko. "The Quack Pack has already got the truck about half loaded with the heavier furniture. You want the boxes in there or nah?"

[kaijurakunsobs]

The Beauty in Empathy

master list

ya boi took all the time in the world writing this but here we go baby! also...yall get soft!Heisenberg content

⚠ Trigger: Panic Attack, PTSD

Summary: the travel to the village has left you shaken up and unsure of what to do with your life. You lack direction, an objective, something to anchor you give the sense of control, it doesn't matter what, you just need something to control.

It, almost, feels nice to come back to the factory, not carrying for the ache in your limbs or the blisters on your feet, you need to feel safe in any way shape or form, and the closest thing to a safe heaven...is the factory. Where no one can touch you, where Heisenberg's sole presence is enough to ward off unwanted visits, where you could run through the maze of corridors and find refuge in some empty room.

There was so much going on, the euphoria you got that morning over the small win against Heisenberg was gone now, replaced by uneasiness, fear of what you don't understand, of what you had gotten yourself into. But you don't let panic subdue you again, taking deep breaths, you run to the living quarters, crates creaking with the movement, fresh vegetables, and cans making so much noise, you were sure the Lord would come and yell at you, he never comes, not even when you almost throw down the door and begin to scream, he's not there.

It takes you a bit to calm down and regulate your breathing, you feel disoriented, suddenly everything is too much and you begin to get rid of the rope wound around your shoulders and hands, wincing when the crates and sacks do so much noise.

And there you stay with your head pressed against the door and eyes shut, remembering how your mother used to cook and clean when stressed, she said cleaning your living space clears the mind and keeps us sane, cooking fills the soul and your stomach with the warmth of your home.

That makes you get up slowly, moving to the kitchen to clean it and the fridge thoroughly, ignoring your aching and shaking limbs in favor of putting everything away and leaving out some ingredients to make a simple vegetable soup. Taking a cutting board and knife you start chopping and cutting vegetables, casting a glance at the clock in the wall and wondering, when will Heisenberg come back and if you should leave him something to eat.

You are done cooking, letting the soup boil, and slowly make the room smell deliciously, remembering how your mom used to cook this soup when you were distraught or sick, you are distraught indeed, but getting lost in memories of people that don't exist anymore feels...useless, painful, stupid.

All of your attention is brought back to the mess on the table and coffee table, all those blueprints and papers just laying around, feels wrong. Picking up every single one you do quick work of rolling it and placing it upright in one of the crates the Duke used to pack your groceries, carefully stashing papers and placing them with the prints, dropping the crate over the kitchen table, grabbing the broom and sweeping the small living room.

With a prideful smile, you stare at the much cleaner area, serving yourself a generous portion of soup and taking a seat at the table, it tastes just as good as your last meal last night, you feel pleasure by eating something this warm, feeling the heat go down your throat and radiate through your entire chest and bleeding down your body, it's nice a feeling. But the heat doesn't linger long and the cold of the world beyond the factory hunts you.

You lost it all so fast, everything stole away by Miranda and the creatures that attacked you, yes, you have a "home" here and a room, and Heisenberg's presence seems to guard off against anyone coming close to this place, but you have no control over anything anymore, and that's what scares you, the lack of control over something.

Routine...that's a way to control your life, something so easy yet so valuable right now, that you don't fight off the prospect of binding yourself to something as monotonous as routine. You were adventurous and brave, now you are scared and ready to find some resemblance of normality, it might be hard, seeing how Heisenberg seems to be more on the chaotic side, but, starting tomorrow you will need to work on that, you need to reclaim a bit of your life.

For now, the best you can do is rest, tame your emotions, abide by the contract you made this morning, maybe...if you play your cards well, you get more perks or small liberties.

Heisenberg drags you out the next day to finally help him with the ventilation, barely giving you time to eat anything and forcing you to chug your coffee, running after him to not be left behind.

The Lord can see you, scribbling something on one of his old note pads, stopping outside of certain rooms to scan the place and write down more notes, mumbling to yourself about what you will need to fix the room. So you are a planner, he likes that, you could also be faking it in favor of getting on his good side, let's see how well you do.

"Let me get this clear" you sigh putting on a pair of his gloves, looking at the rather shabby board connecting the railway and the hole in the wall where the ventilation duct is visible "I have to go across this, get inside and then find the problem?"

"Yeah, basically" he's looking at you, judging your reaction, half expecting you to back off and run away "Is there a problem, sweetheart?" he leans close to you, blowing smoke in your face

With a huff, you take the cigar from his hand and take a drag and puffing the smoke back on his face, jumping over the railing and swiftly balancing over the board towards the hole "You better find a way to pass me whatever I need, cuz im not doing the trave back and forth every fucking time!"

Karl grins at your boldness, smoking his Cuban cigar like it's nothing, raising a brow when you finish it "Will find a way, don't worry about it"

"You better do, Karl!" turning around you grimace looking at the duct, there's water and cobwebs "This is asinine..."

"You will do amazing, darling!" he screams with a lot of amusement when he sees you climb into the duct, enjoying the view of your ass "way better than I could do"

"Oh, bite me!" you yell back with a bit of humor, quickly crawling to the spot marked on the map he gave you the day prior, only stopping to wipe off the sweat from your forehead and assess the damage "Hey, Heisenberg! We have rats here...seems they been doing a number on the ventilators' wiring!"

"Fucking hell! again?!" there's a moment of silence and you use it to look around, definitely, there are rats here, he should think about acquiring some cats, "Think you can fix it?!" you hear him clearly as you make your way back

"If you have some electrical tape and new wires? I could do it today but the rats will come back and eat the new wiring!" he sees you come back, looking at him expectantly

He waves dismissively, turning around to dig through the toolbox, he swears he saw some spare wires here..."Oh don't worry about that, darling, you fix the wiring and I'll just let the lycans have a feast on the vermin" he says as if you knew what he's talking about.

"The WHAT now?" Heisenberg chuckles at your expression, smiling a bit when he tosses the tape and wire in your direction barely catching them.

"More fixing and less asking, you can meet the pack later after we are done with everything you need to work on!"

You hate the way he's smiling, it makes you shudder and feel weary for whatever he's planning.

And you are right in feeling apprehension, Heisenberg keeps dragging you around, helping you up when the repair it's too high, happily taunting you when he sees you stand on a piece of metal, watching your legs wobble and the slight terror when he screams for you to balance yourself because he's not going to save you if you fall, cackling when you tell him to shove it and balancing on the metal sheet.

At the end of the day, he's surprised at how unbothered you seem at being covered in grease and sweat, nonchalantly cleaning your face with your sleeve "And here I thought you were lying about being a mechanic, color me impressed"

"I told you, I'm a woman of my word, I would never lie to you Heisenberg~" something stirs inside him in the way you smile, cocking your hip to the side, he hates your guts but he gotta admit, you are a sight for sore eyes "This has been a beautiful day and everything, but! I'm in need of a shower and I wanna eat something"

"Not yet princess" you yelp when Karl grabs your shoulders and quickly pushes and guides you "You were curious about the lycans, yes? I think is only fair for you to meet them, seeing how you will be staying here for a long time, it's better if they understand that you aren't food"

"WHAT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?" you try so hard to hold onto the door frames, make him stop by refusing to walk, try to walk backwards, only making him grow annoyed and throw you over his shoulder "HEISENBERG I'LL DECK YOU AGAIN, PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"I would LOVE to see you try that stunt again, girly. It's quite clear your daddy never showed you to be more respectful, I might need to teach you so manners" he has the good forsaken audacity of slapping your ass with his free hand

Heisenberg grunts and chuckles when you trash in his hold, trying so hard to run away from him "HOW DARE YOU?! IM BEATING YOUR DUMB FACE WHEN YOU PUT ME DOWN!" you make him laugh when a yelp scapes you the moment the cold air of the outside hits your skin and at least has the decency of softly putting you down, raising his hands as if ready for you to pounce "DON'T you dare to do that again, got it!?"

"We'll see if you mishave and threaten to punch me again, there must be some punishment, don't you think?" he's all smugness when he speaks, puffing up with pride when you blush and begin to frown, getting ready to tell him off only to get cut off when he whistles.

The sound is loud and fills the still air with a disturbance that feels disrespectful, making you wince when he keeps whistling rhythmically, that reminds you of how your grandfather used to have whistle based commands for the digs in his farm, which means...that the lycans are dogs, probably, and Heisenberg just lets them roam around, there's a small chance that the dogs are trained to chase or hunt vermin.

You both stay outside, waiting, getting a bit excited at the idea of seeing a dog after so long. Karl lifts a brow at the eager look on your face, wondering if you even know what's going to happen or if you are that stupid. He's ready to see your reaction, heard you scream in terror, or try to run back to the factory, although, he hopes you don't do that otherwise the lycans might give change and end up killing you.

The cocky smile on his face grows when he sees you pale in horror when the lycans come running, snarling and snapping their fangs at each other. Heisenberg was ready to hear you scream and see you escape, but he is not prepared for what you do next.

All that eagerness, the small hope you felt, all die when you see those beasts, all running to you like it happened that day, the phantom pain in your side makes you choke and freeze, these aren't the same beasts that...killed you...but the memory is still fresh, a part of you tells you to run, to hide, you scream or fight! but the rest of your body refuses to move. The closer they get, the louder the voice in your head becomes, so...you run and hide.

Last time you tried to run to your home and that got you almost mangled, this time? you let instinct guide you, pulling Heisenberg's coat up and hiding behind him, like a child would do, both arms winding around him with crushing strength.

In another situation, he would have made fun of you, laughing and asking where all that bravado of yours had gone to! But he can feel your chest rising and falling so fast, your entire body is shaking so hard it's making his necklaces clink and your teeth clack, you are muttering something but he can't tell what, more importantly...you are crying. He knows the signs of shell shock, oh he knows them too well, whatever happened to you, the lycans triggered a flight or fight response in you, a very strong one.

You can't hear anything over the ringing in your ears, so it's impossible to hear when Heisenberg whistles and makes the lycans scatter again. You do feel his hands peeling yours off him, the weight of his coat covering you and how, strangely, careful he is when picking you up, barely able to register his voice telling you to put your arms around his neck, the firm hold of his hands on your legs and what you guess, was a huff when you locked your legs behind him.

He's beyond surprised when you willingly allow him to pick you up like this, a million questions running through his head over your reaction. Guilt taking a hold of his heart knowing he made you THIS scared, to the point of sobbing on his shoulder and refusing to let him go even after making it into the living quarters but he manages to convince you to let him go, sitting you where you can see him cook and barely hear him talk...something about helping him with a reactor? you are not sure.

Karl watches you eat slowly, looking for any sight you might throw up or if the shaking in your hands gets so bad you might be unable to eat. He goes as far as to escort you to the bathroom, leaving you a new shirt and alone. There are no words to be exchanged but you know, he will come back to check on your jittery self and take you back to your room.

Once alone, you let shame eat you alive, wondering if he thinks less of you, if he will make fun of what just happened, or if tomorrow he will relegate you to some stupid minimal task thinking you are some weak damsel in distress. Dread crush you, not excited for the next day.

Waking up is torture and dressing up is suddenly the toughest task you have been saddled with, the smell of coffee fills the kitchen and, to your disgust, you see Heisenberg dump what might have been three spoonfuls of sugar on his cup. The man perks up when you get close to the table,

"Alright darling, let me start by saying..." here he goes, he's going to laugh and humiliate you "I'm NOT your fucking delivery man" Heisenberg throws a utility belt at you, the weight of the tools on it make you tip back and almost lose your footing "I went to the Duke to see if he got me some new stuff and he said your tools and boots arrived early, I only brought all this back so you won't lose time passing you anything"

"Eat something, we have time" He knows he shouldn't bring back up what happened yesterday, giving you time to process it all and think about what his next steps should be regarding the lycans and your fear of them.

The day is just like yesterday, but you pick on the subtle differences, Heisenberg seems more aware of any sounds that might startle you, steering you away from areas where he knows the lycans are chasing after rats and having a feast on some other things. You don't comment on it, smiling inwardly at his attempts to prevent you from going into another panic attack.

You are sitting in front of a broken generator, judging the damage and sighing when you come to the sad conclusion that you might need to rebuild the entire engine, Karl is close by, two rooms down from where you are. Getting up and stretching is a small pleasure, hearing your back crack loudly, groaning over the stiffness on your neck.

"I got you bad news, backup generator number eight? dead as fuck! I might need to rebuild it which means I'll be doing a list of what I need" you say while entering the room, his back is facing you and he seems to be deep in thought hunched over something.

Getting close you can see him pulling pieces towards him the metal listening to his command and coming his way, a screwdriver in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other, he seems to be struggling to assemble something.

Smiling a bit, you are careful when putting your head on his shoulder, effectively making him jump "Whatchu doing~?" Heisenberg curses under his breath, looking at you to the best of his abilities

"Reactor, damn thing keeps exploding whenever I do test runs" he feels you hum and see your hand get close to the project without touching

"Maybe it's the material or the lack of a cooling system, but that's my opinion" you straighten back "And like I said, the generator is dead, gone, either replace the whole unit or we rebuilt it"

You hear him grunt and pat his pockets looking for something, soon the smell of tobacco fills the air and he too gets up, looking at you, clearly thinking something or how to say it "Princess, about yesterday..." you go stiff, immediately looking away "I don't know what happened before you were brought here, but I do know that it's important for your safety that the lycans learn that you are a part of my..." at this he hesitates, chewing his cigar "family, so if you ever need it, they will come and help you"

He waits for you to say something or to see if you panic again when he sees no sight of terror he continues "There's a small group of lycans that are a bit more tamer, and I was thinking about introducing them to you, one by one"

"You want me to just do what, play fetch with them, scratch their bellies!?" there it is, your panic begins to raise and before it explodes, he grabs your shoulders making you look at him.

"You won't be alone, I'll be there and if the lycans try to EVEN bite you, I'll kill them on the spot! I will even teach you how to control them, that pack will be your...personal guard, but I'll be there"

You relish in the feeling of his gloves hands over you, thinking slowly about this. You need routine and maybe training the beasts to obey you might be good...having control over another being could be good and Heisenberg said he will be there the whole time, something about his voice makes you trust him. "If you leave me alone even ONCE, I'm destroying your knees with a wrench"

And there's that wolfish smile and hearty laughter, with renewed joy he pulls your hand telling you about how you will have the right to do that if he abandons you ever after this, he's staying with you throughout the whole process. Heisenberg catches you off guard when he takes off his coat and drapes it around your shoulders, pulling you outside, standing next to you.

"Let's start with whistling, ok?"

You must admit, you have a lot of fun learning how to do the right whistle command to call this particular pack, laughing a bit when Karl squishes your face whenever you fail to produce the right sound, once you get the sound right, he teaches small commands, how to make one sole lycan come to you, have them stop dead in their tracks, among others and how to make each whistle sound loud.

He does chuckle when you jump the moment the pack comes bolting from the woods towards you, the grip on your shoulders return and that anchors you, giving the stop command and smiling once the small group stops, Heisenberg all but smiles proudly when you take control and pick one lycan to get close and dismiss the others.

"Once it's close enough" Karl whispers low enough for you to hear "take off your gloves and let it smell the back and palm of your hands" he sees you nod and waits for the lycan to get near you, his hands sliding up and down your arms, he can feel you tremble a bit when you take off his gloves and let the beast smell you.

The lycan looks up to you, then at Heisenberg, opting for keeping its attention on you, you called it after all "It won't bite you, it can smell that you belong here, it knows better" Even with his reassurance you are weary of the beast, everything inside asking you to run away, yet you stay put, dogs can smell feat and react to it and that never ends well.

"What else can they do?" Karl can hear the terror in your voice but feels proud of your bravery, quickly teaching you what other tricks the thing can do.

By the end of the day, you are rather surprised when he cooks dinner again, he's actually pretty decent, his cooking lacks a bit of salt but it's good and he's doing his best to have you well fed.

"May I ask...why are you being so nice?" you ask him looking at his back "I've been a bit of a brat"

He laughs looking at you over his shoulder "I suppose...I understand what you are going through" he says, turning his attention back to the stove.

You want to ask him what happened to him, what made him so emphatic out of the blue but the tone of his voice and the stance of his body is enough indicator that this time is not the right moment to ask about it, perhaps one day, you two can share the pain that haunts you both.

[ms-demeanor]

You are the one who reblogged a post with a bunch of resources about treating wounds and foraging and using a rifle. You, other anarchists, are where I’m getting the sense of the “life” I’m supposed to look forward to. Not movies.

You know how I know you’re not talking about me?

Because I’m actually really, really fucking cautious about not reblogging information about foraging because I literally know someone who poisoned his dumb ass foraging and died and I would not share that kind of resource with someone who I’m not 100% sure is excellent at woodcraft and has a shitload of outdoor experience. I actually pretty stridently recommend that you DON’T learn how to forage from online resources.

Juuuuuust in case I double checked my blog back through august.

What are you talking about? No forage resources or rifle resources here, at least not for the last 22 days. The one wound treatment thing I’ve reblogged this month is a link to CERT classes, which are community emergency response classes.

I don’t make a secret of the fact that I am pro gun ownership but I also don’t make a secret of the fact that I think if people are pro gun they also need to be pro gun safety education - there are way too many firearms in the US for us to *not* teach kids how to handle them safely. But I sure do NOT talk about having gun battles on this blog because I think that’s glorifying a fantasy version of a fast, easy revolution that I don’t believe in.

(however, as always, if you’re in my general area, don’t know how to use guns, and would like to learn I am available to teach you the basics, as much as social distancing and global pandemics allow anyway)

But. Also.

Buddy, let’s pretend it’s four years ago, or nine years ago, or twenty years ago. Let’s pretend that whatever party is in office doesn’t matter and is totally unrelated to everything.

Have you ever lived through a large earthquake?

A tornado?

A hurricane?

Sometimes infrastructure fails and knowing how to treat wounds is a very, very, very good idea.

Everyone should take a first aid class. I think first aid classes should be a requirement for graduating high school. I first got CPR certified with my girl scout troop when I was 12 and my mom took me to a mobile morgue class when I was 7 because my mom was the department safety coordinator for the DWP in Los Angeles and she was in charge of earthquake drills and first aid training and disaster preparedness and the Northridge quake had just happened.

I grew up taking first aid incredibly seriously, reading “Hatchet,” and my idea of fun is getting a vehicle stuck in an inland sea or going backpacking and encountering a bear. Learning woundcare and treatment for heatstroke and hypothermia is. Like. It’s a pretty big part of making sure I’m doing stupid bullshit as safely as possible.

Also, yeah, I’ve totally superglued my finger closed and used fishing finger wraps to seal a cut and used coffee stir sticks and electrical tape to make finger splint. Even with insurance it still costs me a couple hundred dollars to go to the ER or several hours to go to an urgent care, and that’s when I’ve HAD insurance. Knowing how to safely treat non-life-threatening injuries is just something you should know how to do if you’re broke in America; I’m lucky that I can afford to go to the ER now; that has not always been the case for me.

You ever hung out with really drunk friends? Do you know how to check eye tracking? Do you know how to put someone in the recovery position?

You ever had a friend get clocked with a boot in the pit? Do you know how to check pupil dilation to see if you need to get to a hospital ASAP?

Buddy, you don’t have to be worried about the end of the world to want to get prepared to handle an injury while camping and you don’t have to be an anarchist to think it’s a good idea to know how to treat heatstroke.

ANYWAY there’s this flaw in the human brain called negativity bias, which is where we remember negative, scary stuff more than we remember good, positive stuff.

I’m generally a pretty positive blogger, the resource lists I reblog tend to be things like “here are mutual aid groups” and “learn how to be a hacker” and “here’s how to support people who lose access to abortion.” If you’re getting primarily negativity out of the stuff that I’m reblogging I believe you’re missing the forest for the trees, bud.

The way to handle and cope with negativity bias is to be aware of it! If you’re sitting there going “everything is terrible!” ask yourself “is everything actually really terrible or am I only remembering terrible things?”

2020 is actually a fucking FANTASTIC example of that because there has been a lot of bad shit going on but there have also been really great examples of humans helping each other and people working to take care of each other and apparently Venus might have aliens and that’s just really fucking cool. There is a BUNCH of negative shit out there and we do hear about it all the time but don’t let that bury the positive shit.

You know what I want people to take away from that resource post? That you can and should protect your community from speed traps by reporting cops on traffic apps, and that by reporting cops on traffic apps you are doing a tangibly good thing to prevent marginalized groups from being targeted by police.

That’s a real, simple, easy thing that you can do to actually help people - speed traps don’t work if people don’t know about them and it’s why cops have tried to make it illegal for drivers to warn each other about them.

The idea that the government of the United States is going to collapse tomorrow and things will devolve into gun battles in the streets and foraging to keep from starving seems fairly farfetched but even if that does happen you know that mutual aid helped people survive the great depression, right?

And I don’t want to do the “you should feel #blessed that you’re better off than those people in POOR, UNDEVELOPED countries” thing but people get up and live their lives every day in conditions that require them to forage and navigate violent areas.

It’s shitty that people have to live like that, I wish they didn’t have to and I don’t want more people to have to live in extreme poverty in places that are violent, but it seems kind of. I don’t know. Arrogant? To decide you’re better than that so you might as well lay down and die.

“What do I have to look forward to” - buddy, the world doesn’t owe you a happy ending. You have the rest of your life to look forward to. You have friendships and laughter and cool projects and the people you’ll help someday and the people who will help you someday and sunsets and ripe fruit and meteor showers to look forward to.

Nearly everywhere in the world, through all of history, even peasants danced.

You’ve got the world to look forward to.

And if everything does go to hell in a handbasket and there are gun battles in the streets and you’re trying to make sure you’re gathering morels and not deathcaps then you’ve STILL got the world to look forward to and how you go into it is going to be up to you no matter how a fucking election turns out.

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 3

Summary: ellies birthday and mothers day is coming up as emotions and pent up anger are spiraling between you, negan, and jack while more and more secrets begin to unfold.

18+

Warming: nsfw, fluff, kink, depression, abuse

Sorry for the late update on this chapter its kind of a short one ive just have been going through some personal things and havent found the motivation to finish this one yet.❤ i hope you all like it!❤

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You and negan haven't spoke in a few days ellies birthday is today and you have been busy decorating. Negan is suppose to be picking up the cake at the store. jack has returned back from his "business trip" withq an odd hickey on his neck that keeps gawking at you everytime you speak to him. You want to avoid conflict because you arent so innocent yourself after what happen with negan last time you saw him but thats just not who you are....you have to confront him but you also dont want to ruin ellies day infront of everyone.

"Hey jack, do you mind helping me with this streamer" you called out to him from the ladder

"Sure hun" he took the streamer from your hand taping it up to the wall

"Thank you.....uh negan should be here soon with her cake" you said folding up the step ladder

"I could of went and grabbed it" he scoffs

"I uh..well sorry i didnt know it was a big deal" you try to laugh it off politely

"Dont even worry about it...." He walks past you ramming his ahoulder into you heading outside

Negan had arrive with the cake and so did a few of ellies friends and your mother. You and your mothers relationship really has never been that great but you try to make peace with it for ellies sake. Negan came in with a huge gift box all wrapped in pink with a bow.

" i thought we agreed nothing crazy" you whispered to him

"Whaat...can i not spoil my girl" negan grins at you

Ellie runs out of her room her eyes light up at the size of the gift her dad got her.

"Mommy look at this...its humongo!" She says messing with the bow

"I see honey..dont mess with it yet" you giggle

"Where is your boy toy.." His tongue slides across his bottom lip

You kept silent while negan stared you down waiting for a response but nothing came out his eyes were burning a hole through you he always knew when shit was up.

"Ah i see....the silent treatment" folding his arms

Negan walks off to go play with ellie and say hello to a few people when your mother walks up to you.

"Hey mom..." You say emotionless

"What is negan doing here.." She asks

"Mom...please dont. Thats ellies dad. I told you we are trying to work on things for ellies sake" you say annoyed.

"Well...once a cheater always a cheater. Im just saying" as she sips on her cup of wine walking away

A few hours have passed and ellie got to blow out her candles and eat cake. Jack still hasnt said much to you throughout the whole party and its more than obvious that negan is starting to catch on im just hoping he doesn't notice the hicky on his neck. Ellie has been bugging you about negans gift so you were going to let her open it.

"Ellie open it up over here sweetie so everyone can see" you say smiling

Ellie quikly rips the hot pink rapping paper off and squeals in excitement as she realizes its a electric scooter that she has been wanting. Negan was standing by your side with his hand sneakily rested on your lower back with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh my god you got me that scooter!!" Ellie begins jumping up and down

"Negan....those cost alot" you whispered in his ear

"dont worry about it....i got it taken car of" he says sternly

"Lets take it outside!!" Negans runs over and picks it up in excitment with all of the kids following him outside to ride on the scooter. You were throwing away dirty plates when jack came up to you

"So you want to explain why you and negan have been so close" he quietly says to you

You instantly start to burn with rage as he asks you that knowing he has been keeping things from you too and the fact his assistant melissa has been speaking to him inappropriately. You were holing the knife in your hand for cutting the cake reminding you of the incident that happened between you and negan once you found out he was cheating. you froze and gripped tightly on the knife thinking of how to approach this.

"You're a fucking whore..." He spat at you

"Jack.....get the fuck away from me" you quietly say

"Yeah i bet thats what you want.....so he can fuck you" he says through gritted teeth

"Its. Ellies. Birthday.....fucking knock it off we can settle this later" you slowly set the knife down unclenching your fist

Jack stands there glaring at you with his jaw clecnhed before giving up and walking away. You let out a sigh of relief and pour yourself a glass of wine. You take a sip closing your eyes feeling like everything is going in slomotion in that moment when you here yelling outside and notice its negan and jack. You drop your glass spilling your wine everywhere running outside.

"Back the fuck off man!" Jack yells with his fist balled up

"Ohh...you really want to go there dude..." Negan laughs

"You are fucking (y/n) and i know it!" Jack lunges towards him throwing a punch hitting negan in the face making him stumble

Negan catches his balace reaching up to his face touching where jack punched him in the mouth realizing he is bleeding negan licks the blood off his lips and lets out a sinister almost scary deep chuckle.

"Oh...you fucked up." Negan lunges towards jack football tackling him to the ground he starts punching jack over and over again blood all over his fists

"Negan!!!...no! Stop!" You rush over trying to pry negan off of jack

"Negan stop for ellie please!" You begin to cry struggling to finally get him off causing you to fall backwards with negan on you

"You are a dead fucking man!....now get the fuck off my property..." Negan threats

You push negan off to go check on jack you try to get jack to respond to you and see if he is okay but he just spits in your face shoving you away causing you to fall before you know it negan charges back over and starts beating the shit out of him all you can do is scream at them and cry. Through tear filled eyes you notice the cops rushing up the street pulling into the drive way the last thing you remember is the cops pulling negan off and everything went black.

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Jack and negan were both arrested but were soon let go apparently i had fainted due to stress and dehydration they kept me in the hospital until i was better. You kicked jack out of the house and you haven't spoke to negan since ellies birthday. Things have been rough being alone for ahwile and ellie was getting upset about not seeing her dad.

Text from negan:

Hey....im coming by

You looked at your phone to see a text from negan but you just ignored it and continued to cook some food for ellie. There was a knock at the door you sighed annoyingly before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door to negans innocent brown eyes staring back at you. before you could give him a chance to speak you shut the door in his face but he quickly caught it in time with his foot in the doorway before it closed.

"Negan...ellie should be home. She is still upset" you sigh

"Thats okay i want to make it up to you two" he says pushing the door open coming inside

You just stand there silent with your arms crossed untill you hear ellies bus coming down the road and before you know it she busts through the door yelling.

"Mommmyyyy! Happy mothers dayzz!" Ellies runs up to you handing you a picture she made at school

"Awe...thank you sweet heart its gorgeous" you took the pink paper from her smiling and when to hang it on the fridge

"Look i want to take you two out to dinner...its mothers day and you deserve it..look i know i fucked up but that asshole had it coming" negan says

"Negan dont.....go ask Ellie she is the real one you need to be apologizing to not me" you stare at the ground avoiding eye contact.

"Ohh ellie daddy wants to talk to you!" He walks off to her room

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You, negan, and ellie were all out at dinner at your favorite steakhouse enjoying your meal when the waiter brought a bottle of wine

"Negan....i cant afford that" you quietly say

"Ah ah....you deserve it i mean you are the best mom ever" he winks at you popping the lid off pouring wine into your glass

"Thanks..." You shyly say before taking a sip

"So.....the school fired me" negan cleared his throat

You choked on your drink hearing the words that had just came out of negans mouth

"What?..how come" you say wipping wine off your chin

"Well....they dont want me as a coach anymore since what happened at ellies birthday. They say its wildly inappropriate and against policy to still have me there" he bites in his steak

"What are you going to do..." You ask worried

"Ohhh no biggie i always have things taken care of" he smiles at you

"If you need anything im here..." You look up at him

" i know....thank you" he reaches across the table holding your hand

The three of you finish up dinner afterwards you all go for a late walk through the park. It felt nice to get out and have some fresh air after what happended at the party. Your phone kept buzzing off the hook of texts from jack you kept trying to hide it from negan to not let him worry. You felt bad hiding it from negan but you knew it would start a fight but you also didnt want to let jack go without some talking. Negan took you and ellie back home ellie ran inside and got ready for bed.

"I know he is talking to you..." Negan says sternly while placing one hand against the wall beside your head

"Negan....can we not talk about this right now" you say turning your head away from him

"No!...you will look at me when im speaking to you" negan grabs ahold of your chin forcing you to look at him

"Yes....yes im still talking to him.." You say embarassed

"Why....he is such a load of whoreshit....im standing right infront of you (y/n)...im here now! Take me back please. Im an honest man now!" Negan growls

" get...off of me!" You scream and shove him away from you and begin to walk angrily down the road

"(Y/n) get back here now!...where the fuck do you think you are going!" Negan trys to catch up with you when it suddenly starts raining

"Negan stop trying so hard!...this is going nowhere!" You say crying

"Why do you keep saying that!...i want this to work!" Negan finally catches up to you grabbing you by the arm spinning you around

"......well i dont..." You choked on those words as they slipped out of your mouth it felt like your heart had just stopped for a split second it killed you to say that to negan but it had to be done

"You....dont want this." He said quietly and upset with rain drops running down his perfect face

"Negan....i.... I cant. You have to let me go" you say caressing his face" you said giving him a half smile with a single tear rolling down your cheek

"W....what about ellie.....thats my babygirl" Negan begans to tear up pulling you into a hug

"You can still be in ellies life.....i start therapy next tuesday" you say ending the hug

"You can talk to me (y/n)" negan sniffles

"There are just things that just feel easier letting out to a stranger sometimes..."

"I love you....." Negan says bresthlessly

"....i love you too but from a distance.....i have boundaries set now negan"

You and negan began to walk back to the house getting inside you hand him a towel to dry himself off. Negan follows you to the bedroom.

"There are still some of your clothes in the closet...." You say facing away from him

"You still have some of my old clothes here...." Negan opens the door seeing his shirts still hanging in the same spot before he moved out

"I didnt know if you still wanted them or not..." You say nervously

"Its okay. Thank you" negan takes off his soaking wet shirt switching it out with an old faded band shirt

"You can sleep on the couch if you would like..." You offer him

"You sure you are going to be okay with that?" He raises an eyebrow at you

"Yeah....plus its been lonely here just me and ellie" you chuckle handing him a blanket

Negan takes the blanket from you before turing around to open the bedroom door to leave. As soon as the door shut you quietly sobbed making sure it wasnt loud enough for negan to hear. You wiped your tears away before getting yourself ready for bed. You tossed and turned for most of the night your head filled with unnecessary thoughts and cenarios. You just wanted all of this pain to go away you dont know what you are doing with yourself anymore the only thing that keeps you holding on is ellie and negan.

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[novelconcepts]

for the prompt, please do dani and jamie with 22 thank you :)

prompt: kissing someone’s cuts/bruises/scratches

Jamie can’t remember the last time she needed someone to tend her cuts and scrapes. Can’t remember, even, the last time she wanted as much from another person. There’s something too vulnerable about holding out an open wound and saying, Here. Please. I can’t do it alone. 

Jamie can do it alone, is the thing. Has done for so long, she’s forgotten what it was to want another person’s skin brushing her own, another person’s eyes concerned for her well-being. It’s become second-nature, pushing all of that aside. How many times has she wandered into the kitchen, a cloth pressed firmly to a torn-open patch of wrist or palm, and scoffed at Owen’s worry? How many times has Hannah strolled into the room to find her bracing an ice pack against a freshly-bruised knee, rolling her eyes heavenward at her own clumsy misfortune? It’s natural, courting injury as she maneuvers the grounds. Almost easier than it should be. 

She’s never wanted anyone to fix it for her. Never trusted, if she’s honest, anyone to have the touch. People are too soft. Too twitchy about doing damage. As if there’s any helping a thing like that.

She’s never wanted it--

But Dani, meeting her in the doorway of the greenhouse, has an expression she’s never seen before. Not open worry, not nauseous distaste--an almost perfect, steady calm. 

“Let me.”

No question mark at the end of the sentence. No hopeful sway to Dani’s hips, no itchy pull of Dani’s fingers along the elbows of her own jumper. Dani’s face is set, determined, almost as though she’s been waiting for this day since the first time their eyes met. 

“No need,” Jamie says, though her head is pounding. Dani is plainly unimpressed. 

“C’mere. Sit down.”

She can’t explain why she obeys; her body seems primed to follow instruction, perhaps as evidence of a concussion. There is a split above her brow where a tumbling branch caught her just right, and privately, she’s relieved--that it was her standing beneath the tree as the wind jerked it out of place, and not one of the kids. Jamie had been quick enough to dodge aside. If it had been Flora, if it had been Miles...

Better me. I can take it.

Dani has a kit in hand, she realizes, lifted from the manor bathroom. Sitting beside Jamie on the sofa, she tears open a single-use alcohol wipe. She hesitates only once, one hand hovering beside Jamie’s jaw; when Jamie nods, that hand takes her chin, fingers splayed gently to tip her head back. 

“Deep breath.”

“I’m fine,” Jamie starts to say, the words hissing out of her when Dani angles the wipe against the edge of the wound. It’s small, thankfully--the branch had been, too, though Jamie knows better than anyone that size is no measure of danger--but the sting clenches her teeth together. She closes her eyes, trying her best to disassemble the pain and piece it back together into a more enjoyable sensation.

Not the burn, but the soft pressure of Dani’s hand on her skin.

Not the throb running a path along her skull, but the warmth of Dani’s breath mingling with her own.

Maybe this isn’t better, she realizes. Maybe it is infinitely worse, fixing on Dani’s knee pressed to her thigh, Dani’s hand cradling her cheek as though she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. Her eyes flick open to find Dani leaning close, inspecting the wound with an unflappable composure.  

“It isn’t deep,” she says. “Might scar a little, though.”

“Not my first,” Jamie quips before she can stop herself. Dani’s eyebrows raise, her lips curving in a small smile. 

“You’ve got stories.”

Not a question--and not a pressure, either. Just an easy statement. Sometimes, this is just Dani’s way: neat, straightforward, to the point. Jamie wonders what kind of life shapes a woman this way, to navigate the grip of anxiety one moment and turn utterly steadfast the next. She’d like to know. She’ll never push. Dani is a co-worker, nothing more; the last thing Jamie needs is to go crossing bounds again.

“Thank you,” she says, as Dani fishes out a bandage and some tape. “Didn’t, uh. Didn’t need--”

Dani silences her with another smile, tinged with something so like sadness, it puts any knock on the head to shame. “When I was little,” she says, “I was always getting hurt. I was a clumsy kid, I guess. Fell down a lot--out of trees, off my bike. My dad was always the one to take care of it.”

Jamie says nothing. This is the most Dani’s ever spoken directly to her, and she finds the bounce and curve of her Midwestern accent strangely comforting. 

“He wasn’t really a typical dad that way, I guess,” Dani goes on, gently holding the cotton bandage up to the wound. She reaches down, clasps Jamie’s wrist, eases her up to hold the square in place. “Hang onto that a sec. My dad, he was...softer than other kids’. He always knew how to clean my scrapes without making me cry. Never quite got the hang of that, after--he died when I was eight, I dunno if you knew that--”

Jamie shakes her head. Dani, patiently cutting a strip of tape, shrugs.

“Got sick. Was gone almost before I knew it. And my mom was never...much good at any of that, so I had to learn how to patch myself up. The alcohol was always the worst part. Almost.”

“Almost?” Jamie repeats. Dani is replacing her hand with deft fingers, adhering the bandage with simple efficiency. When she checks a mirror later, she suspects the whole affair will be neat, orderly, perfectly applied. 

“Yeah,” Dani says, leaning back to observe her handiwork. She seems satisfied, piling everything back into the first aid kit, closing it with a click. “Worst part was after. He would always find the best bandaid--something brightly-colored, or with cartoon characters--and then he’d lean over whatever I’d busted open that day, and he’d kiss the spot twice. Once for forgiveness, he always said, to let the skin know he didn’t blame it for bleeding. And once for healing. Two kisses, every time. It felt like magic. I could never...”

She quiets, her smile fading. It’s too easy for Jamie to imagine a small girl with a blonde braid, kissing her own scraped knee after a fall, knowing full-well it wouldn’t be the same. Too easy to imagine Dani at eight--eleven--thirteen, patching herself back together on her own. 

“Well,” Jamie says, clearing her throat. “You left a bit out, then.”

Dani raises her eyes, frowning. “Sorry?”

“Did the patching,” Jamie points out. Her mouth is weirdly dry, her head thundering away. This is, she senses, navigating too close to the brink of something. Friendship, maybe. Or just Dani thinking she’s making fun. And still, she can’t stop herself. “Seems like you forgot the magic.”

Dani hesitates, her hands folded in her lap. She’s picking, Jamie realizes, at one cuticle, nearly enough to tear the skin. 

“Go on, then,” she adds, heartened to see Dani’s grave expression tilting toward the sun. “Forgiveness and healing. Could use a little of both, maybe.”

She doesn’t know what she expects, exactly--even saying this feels like the product of insanity, a crack on the head urging her toward things she’d never normally try--but Dani draws a breath. Folds a hand around the back of her head, fingers sifting into curls. Leans forward.

It hurts, a little, Dani pressing her lips to the bandage, though she knows Dani is being gentle. Hurts a little, and sparks something Jamie hadn’t meant to let in, too. She closes her eyes, Dani’s kiss seeming to scorch. 

“Once for forgiveness,” Dani murmurs, lips brushing the skin of her forehead. Another kiss, sweet and soft and sending an electric charge down her spine. “Once for healing.”

She doesn’t lean back, not right away--her hand is warm, her eyes searching Jamie’s, and for a single beat, Jamie wants to tilt her chin. Coax that gentle kiss to find her lips. Change it all. 

The concussion, she assures herself, responsible for the reckless impulse. Responsible, too, for the thread of disappointment coiling in her stomach when Dani removes her hand, places it back in her lap, shakes her head almost ruefully.

“He was better at it.”

“Maybe,” Jamie says. “But I can be clumsy, too. Stay long enough, you might get enough practice to measure up.”

Dani meets her eyes, looking embarrassed, looking delighted. Jamie rubs the back of her neck, casting around for a way out of this hole she’s dug. 

“Listen to me. Take enough thumps to the head, I’m gonna starting spewing puns like Owen.”

“Oh no,” Dani laughs. “Anything but that.”

She has to go, she explains, back to the kids. Jamie’s welcome to join them--she’s got a game of cards planned, and they could use a fourth. Jamie almost agrees. Almost lets herself follow Dani into the house, her fingers straying mindlessly to brush the fresh bandage sealed with a kiss. 

“Shouldn’t,” she says--to Dani, to herself, to the burgeoning heat in her cheeks as she recalls how gently Dani had pressed her lips to the wound. “Work to be done, y’know.”

Dani nods. “See you at dinner?”

She should say no to that, too. Should go home to her little flat, to the quiet which always makes perfect sense, which never turns up with a first aid kit and assertive hands. 

“Yeah. Dinner.” She’s smiling. Dani, leaning against the doorframe, is, too. 

“No more knocks on the noggin,” she adds with mock-gravity. Jamie snorts, gives a careless little salute. 

“No fuckin’ promises.”

It’s difficult to say what’s harder to ignore, when Dani’s gone and the work rises up to meet her once more. Hard to say which part--the thumping of the headache, or the memory of Dani Clayton’s lips pressed to her forehead--has a greater hold on the rest of her day. No one asks, and she’s honestly relieved. 

If asked, Jamie would insist the headache has won out. If asked, she’d have no other choice.

If asked, Jamie would absolutely lie. 

[dontcallmecarrie]

Replying to the commenters of this post [heads up for angst]:

To @kine-iende, who said:​

hot damn. if "our" justin was a mom-friend in their home-universe, here people would start questioning if justin was in secret a very motherly scrull or something (and be fine with it ^^). but yeah, love the trope too. was it "for the want of a nail" or "through a mirrorm darkly"? well, contrast and a what could have been would be lovely. feel enabled, whenever you want to write this :)

.

I am not very familiar with the concept of Skrulls [...iirc, that’s something introduced in Captain Marvel, which I have yet to get around to], but yeah, that tracks. Assuming it’s a thing they know to look for, though, because here Justin’s being themself is the biggest and most obvious way to establish that they are not canon!Justin.

Sure, they’re identical physically, but the moment either Justin opens his mouth, the jig’s up. 

As is, not five minutes into this strange hellscape where their oldest rival looked at them with no small amount of disdain in his eyes at first, Justin had already managed to charm their way out of holding and into a very relaxed “we’ll keep an eye on him” Avengers custody. 

Well, on paper at least— in reality, most of the team doesn’t really give a damn one way or another, whereas Tony starts out morbidly curious as to just how different NHDD!Justin is to the one he’s used to dealing with, and ends up getting a concentrated dose of All The Feels™ because the moment NHDD!Justin realized this Tony had a metric buttload of undiagnosed-and-constantly-belittled mental health issues and a support system that was equal parts duct tape and caffeine, he went “oh, so this universe is the Hell Timeline, okay, makes sense :) :) :) dammit Ivan you’d better fix this stat”. 

In retrospect, Justin’s not sure when exactly the horror show started; if it was the absolute lack of concern or care the Avengers had for their Tony, or the minute they noticed the gauntness in his face. Maybe the tension between Iron Man and Captain America, or the obvious bravado this Tony used– and the fact that none of the others so much as noticed.

All Justin knows is, a version of someone they care about is hurting, hurting badly and has been for a long time now, and that’s more than enough for them to go “oh, okay, mine now”.

.

For his part, Tony has no idea what the hell’s going on. The non-annoying Justin Hammer who crash-landed an Avengers debrief is...something else, and he’s torn between shock, pleasant surprise, and no small amount of existential angst and jealousy because in the span of a few hours, Tony’s had a brief taste of what some other version of him had for a lifetime, and...

Tony’s not sure how he feels about it. He’s a genius, he can wrap his head around string theory and all that good stuff, but numbers are one thing, having to live with the fact that somewhere out there, a version of him grew up with someone so unfailingly kind and supportive and—Tony can’t think of a better word for it than nurturing— and, in the span of seconds, had been able to call him out on his bullshit and seemed to instinctively push him to be better but not in the demanding way his father or the rest of the world had—

If he thinks about it too long, it makes him want to cry, just a little. Somewhere out there was a Tony who’d been enough for someone, who had never been asked to change himself, who’d been pushed up instead of repeatedly torn down and he didn’t know how to deal. 

He’d thought having a non-annoying Justin around would be funny.

This was not, it was goddamn distressing is what it was, because Tony hadn’t even known it was a possibility but now he is acutely aware of the fact that he got stuck with his Justin— the human embodiment of one of those yappy dogs who nipped at people’s heels thinking they were so tough, despite not being able to back it up.

This Justin was, uh, not that. Tony wasn’t sure if he was always like this, or if it was only with him because he shared a face with someone Justin cared about, but... was he always this much of a mom friend? And where’d that granola bar even come from, anyway? Not that he minded, it was a nice change of pace, but really?

...Tony was really going to miss him, once they figured out a way to send him back home.

.

To the commenter who said:

Stephanie isn’t a canon character, is she? Because if not, NHDD!Justin might be able to pull off a “the birth of my little sister awakened my previously deeply buried parental instincts” to explain his whole… [gestures uselessly].

.

Technically, she could be, in that Justin Hammer has a sister and nephew in canon [according to the wiki and a deleted scene, apparently]. I chose to make her a younger sibling in NHDD, to really emphasize the ‘reincarnated with shitty memory’ aspect of this AU. Specifically, while it’s never specified, Justin’s past life was...not great, and part of it was the fact that their younger sibling was sick. 

With what, they don’t remember anymore, but sick enough that they know health isn’t something to take for granted; sick enough that towards the end, they remember their parents had to choose between paying hospital bills and electricity, remember going to bed hungry because meds were expensive and their next paycheck wasn’t until Friday.

...suffice it is to say, there’s a reason Justin’s so protective of those he cares about, even if his memories faded a bit on the specifics as time went by.

To be fair, canon!Justin also cares for his sister and nephew; it’s just that NHDD!Justin acted more like a third parent than a sibling, once Stephanie was born. 

Bear in mind that canon!Justin’s situation is very different than NHDD!Justin’s, because canon!Justin was basically set up to fail from the start as a normal kid who was constantly compared to a child prodigy two years younger than him and terrible parents. While NHDD!Justin’s situation is similar on the surface, the difference is they’re literally a reincarnated OC, with all the baggage that entails.

Maybe, if their second life hadn’t been surrounded by adults with A+ Parenting Skills, 0/10 Do Not Recommend, their issues and traumas from last time wouldn’t have been exacerbated. If they’d been born to a regular family, Justin would’ve been a good kid but nothing special, and their memories of a past life would’ve faded away by the time they hit puberty.

But instead, they were born to the Hammer family, and proceeded to be put through the wringer. 

Which is bad enough, and meant they immediately started leaning hard on everything from their past life because these people wouldn’t know good parenting if it bit them on the nose, but...then Justin’s little sister was born, which immediately kick-started every older sibling instinct they’d ever had because last time they’d been responsible for their younger sibling’s health and safety and you can probably see where this is going. 

aka yes, some of Justin’s behaviors could arguably be called trauma responses and/or coping mechanisms and it’s something I only realized as I was writing this, and no, this AU was not supposed to be this messed up

Justin’s responsibility, their willingness to deal with shitty parents and do tremendous amounts of emotional labor if it helped anyone they took under their wing? That’s no accident, that’s what happens when a soul has to be the adult, has to step up because nobody else is going to. There’s a reason Justin has so much disdain for Hank Pym and Howard Stark’s immaturity, why they have so little patience for their parents as time goes on; their mental age means the older they get, the more they’re looking at the adults around them and judging them hard.

...ahem. Sorry for getting a bit off-topic, but hey, at least now you know a bit more about what’s going on inside Justin’s head!

And yeah, if he had to bs an explanation for why he’s such a mom friend, Justin’d be more than happy to point to his little sister as an excuse. So long as they know she exists, anyway; if not, he’ll just laugh it off and try to chalk it up to one of the differences between their universes.

.

edit to remove the stuff that got through my nonexistent brain-to-mouth filter because I was averaging a not-optimal amount of sleep as I got used to my new job

[kvj-novels]

Senku x fem named!reader

Rating: this chapter is E for everyone though there is some strong language

Warnings: this fic has elements of smut and a mention of eating disorders THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT CONTAIN THE CONTENT WITH THESE WARNINGS.

Summary: Imogen has been awakened from petrification but she suffers from amnesia upon waking up. Senku and Taiju - her lover and childhood friend (respectively) before the petrification - must do their best to help her recall her past life.

Smut summary: soft sex, first time, no warnings but very NSFW.

Chapter Three

I walked deep into the forest, my feet getting cut up from the rocks and the branches. Eventually I stopped at a river and sat down in the sand. I didn’t notice how bad my feet got until I smelt blood. I looked down at my now red feet and frowned. Inching a bit closer to the shore I slid my legs into the water.  It stung and I hissed when I reached down to wipe the mud and dirt off.  “Damn it.” I whispered. I just let my feet float in the water and let the current wash them. I sighed and leaned back on my hands. Just my luck that the only person who knows me also holds a grudge...I laughed. How perfectly stupid.  I can’t even remember how old I am and here I am already having boy troubles.  I sighed and wiped my cheeks, they were still wet from crying. “Fuck it.” I said to myself. “I got woken up into a future with a brand new slate. I’m 3,700 years older than I was before. I’ll just...be a new me. Forget about trying to remember who I was then.”  That was my resolve. What was the phase? New year new me?  Try new millennial, new me. I think.  I got up to go back to the village. My feet were swollen and burning but I needed to get back so tried to forget about the pain. I think I remember how to get back...it’s not too far. It’s still mid day, too. I just need to listen for the bustle of life and I’ll be fine.  I was about half way there when I get a weird feeling on the back of my neck. I stopped and rubbed my neck. The hairs were standing on end. I shivered despite the heat.  I heard a low growl come from behind me. I froze.  It hit me that this was no longer modern times and that I could be in deep trouble. I slowly turned around to see a large bear a few yards behind me. She was snarling at me but not moving.  I gulped.  A smaller cub came out from behind her. I had a feeling I walked through her home and she wasn’t happy about it.  I took a step backwards while still facing her and prayed that I didn’t look threatening enough to attack, only warn. I kept inching backwards and when she growled again I stopped for a moment. “It’s okay...I’m leaving...please don’t hurt me.” I started to move again but my foot met resistance and I stumbled backwards. Another cub yelped and jumped out from under me as I fell to my ass.  The mom got on her hind legs and roared.  I screamed.  She started to charge and I scrambled to my feet, the adrenaline kicking in well enough to numb the swollen cuts on my feet. I ran as fast as I could but I knew in the back of my mind I wouldn’t be able to out run a bear.  I screamed for help as I ran hoping without hope that I was close enough to the village for someone to hear.  As I ran past a tree, a large figure came slamming into my side. I was scared the bear was super smart and was pummeling me to the ground but when I felt the warmth of human skin on my face as I was held tightly against the bare chest that rammed me to the ground, I realized instead that someone heard my cries. Both of us went tumbling, the man held me tightly as a hill took our momentum and made us tumble faster until we came to stop at a tree. His back took the blow and he grunted.  My head was spinning still even as we were stopped. He picked himself up, one arm still wrapped around me.  “Are you alright?” he asked, sitting on the ground. I grabbed my head to try to make it stop spinning. “Y-yeah...maybe a little cut up.” I responded when I felt a warm trickle of blood down my cheek.  “I’m sorry,” He said. “that wasn’t a very clean save was it?” I finally looked up into his face to see the warm red eyes of Senku in front of me.  “Senku?” “Was getting dressed when I heard you scream. You’re not too far from the lookout. Sorry, I should’ve warned you that it’s dangerous out there. The animals are used to owning the woods.” I swallowed to force my mouth closed as I stared at his chest. His slender frame deceived you when fully clothed. Senku was quite strong and very ripped. And I couldn’t help but a stare a little too long now that he had no shirt on. Senku ripped off a piece of his pants and wrapped it around my head over the cut. The pain from the pressure jolted me out of my daydream.  “Sorry,” he said. “I’m not very good bedside manners.” He tied off the bandage and stood. “Can you walk?” He asked. I looked down at my feet which were even more cut up than before. My legs were bleeding and my dress was almost in pieces.  “Damn,” Senku said before I could respond. “I really did a number on you didn’t I?” He helped me stand and swept me up in his arms without hesitation. He seemed different now, maybe not so on edge.  “I’m...sorry.” I said. “I probably shouldn’t have stormed off like that.” “Don’t be sorry...that was just me, being an idiot again.” He said, easily finding the path to the lookout and walking it back. He set me down on one of the beds that Ruri had previously mentioned was in the small building that used as a hospital.  “Let me get something to clean up all your wounds.” He grabbed a bowl of hot water and a rag and sat down next to the bed.  “Senku?” I asked.  “Hm?” He looked up at me through his brows as he gently wiped down my legs.  “Can we start again?” I asked.  “What do you mean?” “I mean...I can’t remember what happened 3000 years ago...but I want to know you now, here, in this place that you seem very dedicated to. And...well I want to know you the way I did back then but I want to do it differently.” He paused for a moment to think. “Clean slate, you’re thinking?” He asked. I shook my head. He dipped the towel in the hot water again.  “The past doesn’t really matter in this world does it? You’re all just trying to survive. So I shouldn’t focus on the past especially if I can’t remember it.” I said.  “Well, there’s where you’re wrong.” He said. “When I broke free of the petrification, a made it my goal to advance society back to where it was and save all 7 billion people on the planet.” He paused to gently pull some debris out of a cut. “That’s a very ambitious goal...” He chuckled. “Yeah it is. And believe it or not, I’m not an idiot at science. When I got to this village it was in the Stone Age. Thanks to a lot of hard work and some very dumbed down lessons, I’ve not only gotten these people to the age of electricity, I be also helped them understand it so they can make, and explore, and do things on their own.” “So...you’re a big nerd?” A smiled.  He let out a laugh and a flashed a contagious smile. “Yeah, I’m a very big nerd. I’m also the only person on the planet right now with the knowledge to bring the world back to where it was. I guess that’s why they insisted I stay the chief.” He got up when he finished cleaning my wounds and grabbed a large bowl of precut bandages.  Sitting back down to wrap my feet he eyed me for a minute.  I blushed. “W-what?” I asked.  He smirked. “All that talk about forgetting the past...If you don’t want to remember, I won’t tell you. But remembering the past is exactly my goal. It looks a little different for you but I would be happy to tell you everything I know about you. Taiju, too.” “Who’s Taiju?” “Oof. Don’t say things like that to him, you’ll hurt the brutes feelings.” He chuckled. “The guy who was with us in the tower.” “Oh right - sorry. I knew him too?” Senku shook his head, he was suddenly very focused on the wraps, being careful as he went along. “Yeah, we actually met because of Taiju. You knew him before you knew me.” I was quiet so I could listen, I hoped he would continue when I didn’t respond.  “Taiju and you go way back. We were childhood friends, I knew him since kindergarten. But you and Taiju literally grew up together. Somehow I never met you though. Not until senior year anyway.” “Senior year?” “Oh yeah, uh, the last year you have to spend at school. Once you’re senior you can graduate and either move on to college - a more focused type of school. Or you could move on to a job, life, family, whatever the hell you want honestly. After high school, you’re considered an adult so people let you do whatever, you know?” He finished with my feet then moved to the head of the bed to work on the cut on my head.  “Anyway, Taiju introduced us at the end of junior year and we hung out a lot all the next year. I don’t know if that dumb brute was trying to set us up from the beginning but he was really smart about it; just a casual introduction and then bam, you were hanging out in our group all the time.” I flinched when he put the hot rag to my head. “Sorry,” he pulled back.  “No it’s okay.” I looked up at him. “Please, keep going.” He continued cleaning my head and then cleared his throat. “Just before summer break I asked you out on a date. I hung out with you more that summer than I did with Taiju. He didn’t seem to mind though since he had his own love life he was going on and on about.” He chuckled.  “How was it? The date I mean.” “We were both nervous as hell. I took you to a walk through tour of one of the biggest science labs in Japan.” He laughed. “Looking back on it now it probably wasn’t the greatest of first date ideas, but you didn’t seem to mind.”  I smiled.  “What else happened that year?” “Well, summer was over and we had to go back to school.” He paused for a moment to tape a small bandage to the side of my head.  I sat up fully when he finished, carefully bringing my bandaged legs under me. He sat on the bed next to me. “I told you I couldn’t make things official yet...I was too focused on my school and I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go after graduation.” He sighed and rubbed his neck. “That was my first mistake. You understood but I could tell it was bothering you a bit. I psyched myself out because I was overthinking it. If you can’t already tell, I’m very much an idiot at matters of the heart.” I bit my lip. “Is that...when we argued and I got mad?” He shook his head. “I said a lot of thing I really regret. I blamed you as a distraction and I tried to push you away. I hate to admit it, but I was scared. I wanted so badly to not mess things up with you that I fucked up and messed things up anyway.” He let out a deep sigh. “Our last conversation was an argument. I said I cared more about science than I cared about you. You promptly slapped me across the face and said you’d save me some trouble and would never have to talk to me again.” I frowned. He continued, “I don’t think any harsh word ever spoken to me has hurt more than that. And it was my own fault.” I swallowed. I felt a lump in my chest that made me want to throw my arms around him and tell him I’m sorry.  But the mental block of complete emptiness and detachment from not truly remembering this man in front of me, stopped me. I looked down at my hands. “We didn’t have a lot of time together then huh?” I asked.  “No...I didn’t see you for a whole week and then the petrification happened.” “I uh...I still can’t remember any of it. Even though you’ve told me the majority of it.” I forced down the lump in my throat and tried not to cry again. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I felt empty. Hearing that story makes me really happy but...it’s like it’s literally just a story. I can’t picture any of it.” “It’ll take time. Amnesia can only be cured by the patients willingness to remember the parts they’ve lost. The fact that you can’t remember what school is tells me that more was happening than just a little bit of love life drama. Whatever it was caused you to block out not just me, but physically every single part of school.” “How do I find out what that was?” “I would suggest you find Taiju. Like I said, you guys grew up together. I think you lived in Taiju’s house. I never got around to asking what happened with your family, so I can only assume that he’s the one who can tell you that part of yourself. I can go find him for you if you like?” “Not right now please...if it’s not too much trouble, I’d really like to stay and keep talking with you.” He smiled a bit. “I’ll go get us some dinner then. Meet me up in the tower, take your time.” He got up and left the small building, headed for the village. I thought about the story he just told me and smiled. Butterflies erupted in my stomach again. I felt like that was proof to myself, a bit. Proof that Senku and I had something together. Proof that I...

Well, I probably shouldn’t get too caught up on that feeling.

********

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