#my neighbor came into my work and started dissing it

[silvercaptain24]

In case anyone was wondering, in the Guardian AU, the job Wars works with Sky is a retail job at Urbosa’s shop that still doesn’t have a name. Yes I will be using some of my own experiences. Including the one with my neighbor.

[laketaj24]

Marked

Author’s Note: Hey! This piece was requested, and I decided to make it a few parts. So here is the first, and this part is based on one of my favorite songs, Slow Dancing in a Parking Lot. I really like hometown, slow country ass romances lol. So this is what I am giving you! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Happy Reading! (My taglists and requests are open!)

Warnings: Public Sex, Fluff, Language, Dubcon, OMEGAVERSE

Pairings: Alpha!Henry Cavill x Omega!Reader

M A S T E R L I S T

“Hi.” You waved at your new neighbor. The small family of four seen you a total of seven times and still had not introduced themselves once. Where was the small-town charm you’d seen in all those movies?

The man looked to you first, tall and muscled he waved. “Good morning!”

“Morning!” You yipped, finally, some interaction. “Your family is beautiful.” Those were the only words that you could think of besides saying something about the weather.

“Thank you, how are you liking Longview?”

“Love it.” You lied. It had been two weeks, you’d left the house a total of three times and each time you got lost. “It’s beautiful here.”

The drizzle of rain started overhead, it always rained in Washington, maybe that’s why you stayed in all those days without hesitation. It was sunnier in Southern California, and there was always something to do, here it was the opposite.

“That’s wonderful,” he yelled before ducking into his blue minivan. Your neighbor waved quickly as he backed out of his driveway and onto the road.

The family next door was the only one for about five miles, besides the one across the street, and he never really made an appearance other than coming home from work. You liked to people watch, it was easy to do when there were only two houses to watch. You made your way back into the house, nursing the warm cup of coffee.

When you moved here, you were no stranger to the place. Summers had been spent here with your uncle, sometimes holidays, and upon his death, you inherited the house that gave you some of your fondest memories. Building a life here was what you were intended to do, and you didn’t really have a choice, it had all fell apart everywhere else you went. This inheritance was your one get of jail free card, and it came right on time.

Longview didn’t hold much, two grocery stores on each side of the town, one bookstore, three churches, and one bar called the Sly Tree. These things you’d remembered because they held an interest and you had planned to visit them all. Tonight it was Sly Tree.

 The yellow crop top looked good against your honey-colored skin and with the slight inch of your mid-drift showing it gave the illusion that you were a good girl who’d come to play, or at least that's what you wanted it to mean. Who knew if they took it that way, you sat at the bar. There were a few more people in the place, but none that piqued your interest. The bartender tapped your glass. “Refill?”

“I can’t.” you shook your head, there was no hope of you getting home safely with another drink in your system. “But thank you.”

“You moved into Harper’s old place?”

“Yes, he was muy uncle.”

“Good guy, he always came in here on Sunday’s spreading lies about wolves.” The bartender was friendly enough, the cute smile and wide eyes caught your attention, but he was young.

“He told me about those damn wolves.” You giggled. They were all around the property. Hence the reason you opted to not have a dog, coming home to a missing dog was not your intention.

“crazy man, good, though.” He handed you a sprite. “Drink this.”

“Thank you... what’s your name?”

“Cody.”

“Nice to meet you, Cody, is there anything fun to do around here?”

“A few towns over, maybe.” He shrugged a matter of fact and exhaled. “Hunting is pretty cool, though? You should come in one day?”

“I’m certain she doesn’t mean killing deer.” The smooth voice came from the right of you, the familiar face of your quiet neighbor actually brought some light to your life. Maybe you wouldn’t have to feel alone after all.

“Hey.”

“Hey, neighbor,” he smirked. “A beer, please.”

You’d never talked to him, only observed from afar, and there was much to observe. He was tall, strapping with broad shoulders, a body that made you think unsavory things and, unlike the family man across the yard, unattached. “So, you do know that I’m there?”

“How could I not?”

“You never speak.”

“Haven’t had the opportunity.”

“Opportunities have been available, Cavill.” You said his last name thinking of the gray mailbox it was engraved in.

“Hmmm.” He placed the bottle cap of the beer on the table and took a swig of the beer. “You like to hide in that house of yours, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I’m Henry, and if I am not mistaken, you’re Y/N.” Henry swiveled in his chair to face you. “Your uncle spoke highly of you.”

“That’s good to know.”

“So, you’re in a bar on a Wednesday at eight, cabin fever must’ve set in?”

“It did.”

His car smelled of cedar, and you loved it. You sunk back in the passenger seat and kicked your feet up on his dashboard. The small city passed by, and for once in your unsettled roused life, you felt at ease. There was only one red light but about five intersections that lead you in a circle.

“Where are you from?” Henry asked with his arm hanging out of the window, his fingers waving as the window passed through them. “Technically, I’m from Georgia, but I lived in California for almost four years.”

“So. Cal?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I didn’t.” he laughed. “But I’ve always wanted to use that abbreviation.”

“Good sentence, no one calls it that by the way.”

“Then how was it a good sentence.”

“I just didn’t want to diss you all the way.”

“Ah, the courtesy country girl, I lucked out.”

“Thank you.” You bit your lip. “You go to the gym often?”

“Never.” Henry laughed. “I run and lift trees.”

“All this comes from that?” It was impossible not to touch his arms, they looked terrific through the tight-fitting grey shirt.

“Five years of it, yes.”

“I guess I lucked out.” You whispered with a small grin on your face. “Where are we headed?”

“Right over there.” He pointed to the grocery store parking lot, and the car headed that way. You had never been parking, but you’d heard of it just not in a place this obvious.

“There are no lights in that parking lot.” You chuckled. “Choosing dim-lit places like this on purpose?”

“Definitely.” the half cocky answer was coated with sarcasm. Henry didn’t seem like that type. He parked the car and turned the music down. “Now, you tell me one of your favorite songs.”

“Does it have to be fast?”

“It’s totally up to you.”

“I’m drawing a blank here,” I said after a few seconds.

“I’ll pick one, you keep thinking.” He strolled through his phone, and then the slow music came through the speakers. henry climbed out of the truck, walked over to your side, and opened the door. “Dance?” He asked.

“I suck at it.”

“Good, I don’t have to whip out my Footloose moves.” He winked as he helped you from the truck into his hands. Sweet guys like him never seemed to come your way, not in Georgia, California, or any of the other places you’d been. He was novel.

He moved as if he actually could dance, pulling you against his chest and swaying playfully to the music. The song was lulling, complementing the atmosphere of the night.

“So, where’s your girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend?”

“Someone as perfect as you have to be in a longterm relationship contemplating marriage.”

He laughed, shaking his head, his eyes flickering amber in the light for a moment and then back to their normal state. Henry’s fingers intertwined in yours. “I have no one, and if I did... I am certain you’d of seen her by now.”

“Just checking.”

“What else do you want to know?”

“What can you tell me?”

“I drink every Saturday night. I get in lost in the color brown, it’s the prettiest color... Trees, dirt all beauties often overlooked, but they’re the most important ones. I sleep with the air on me. I wake up super early, walk to the river and piss every morning. I like to sing in the shower, but I suck at it. I like you.” The vomit of words was the most alluring thing you’d heard since you came here. Henry twirled you around and pulled you back to him.

“You tell every girl you take home these same lines?”

“Just one.”

“You’re smooth with your lines Henry...”

“I can still break out my footloose moves if you want?”

“No need to...” You smiled. “This is better.”

“Good. I haven’t stretched just yet.”

You shouldn’t have kissed him, your hands shouldn’t be gripping his curls, and you definitely shouldn’t be hoisting yourself upon him, but here you were doing all of it and importantly enjoying it. Your tongue lightly swiped his lips before it was met with his and a small groan. Five hours ago, you met him. You didn’t know his last name or if even shared your beliefs, but you wanted to fuck him.

“How are the public indecency charges around here?” You whispered.

“I haven’t been charged with that one yet.” He carried you to the passenger’s seat.

“There’s a first for everything.”

“I know the sheriff.” he laughed. “I think I can get us out of it.”

Everything was rushed, but it didn’t stop you from deepening the kiss and tugging on his belt buckle.

“You sure you want this?”

You press your palms into the leather seat, and he pulls your pants down to your ankles. “I haven’t been sure of anything else.” You giggle as you rock your hips against him, grinding your mound against his hardened cock. He pushed your panties aside, rubbing the head of his cock against your lips and hoisted you up.

“You’re already wet for me, sweetheart.” he pushed inside of you, throbbing and suppressing a carnal growl.

You sunk your teeth into his shoulder when he pulled you down on his cock and began to fuck you. Then his eyes met yours, and they glowed in the dim light of the parking lot, it was surreal animalistic. “I’ve been thinking about this ever since you moved in...” He fucked harder, bouncing your tits in your bra. “How I wanted to fuck you and make you mine...” he grunted.

Your head fell back in ecstasy, and he rubbed his nose down your face before his tongue licked down your chest.

“Your fucking scent.” He growled, rutting into you. “You don’t even know what you are... sweetheart.”

“What am I?” You whispered.

“Mine.” Henry’s teeth bit into your skin, and you squealed. “Omega.”

His eyes shifted again in the light, and his teeth were still in your flesh.

“Omega?”

Your uncle used to talk of omegas, again when he was drunk... You pull away from him, but he continues to fuck you. “Henry.” You moaned. “Fuck! Henry!” You feel him swell inside of you.

Henry’s bitemark was fresh on your chest as was this inflamed urge to ride him harder, your body willed as if it could not stop. “Feel it.” He commanded. “Your body knows you’re mine too.”

“Ohh, fuck!” He grew bigger, swelling as he thrust faster and then locking into you. “Don’t cu-.”

Henry’s hand clamped down over your mouth, and he shuttered, your body shuttering, joining his climax. The warmth of his cum was soothing, fucking made you want to cum again. “Get dressed.” he kissed your lips. “Now.”

Henry Cavill Taglist: @oddsnendsfanfics​ @taytayize123​  @my-rosegold-soul​ @titty-teetee​ @sparklemichele​ @imgoldielikehawn​ @therandomthoughtsofmsparker​ @therealcalicali​ @rhys108 @shut-up-broccoli​@peculiar-monstar​ @sincerelysinister​ @xxpapasfritasxx​ @brexrif​  @sheismycherry​ @justgrits​  @angelic-kisses13 @ikeepforgettin​ @persephones24​

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[salmonmakiii]

hii! i'd like to request a timestamp if it's okay with you? Could you people write about 3am boyfriend tsukishima, angst to fluff? thank you so much and have an amazing day!! 💕🤗

Heya! Sorry this took long, writer’s block sucks :( I hope this came out nice!

[03:00]

About : Tsukishima x reader Note : Angst, Fluff. Forgive me if I have mistakes!

It was an accident. You and Tsukishima knew that.

But all the pent up stress and those lack of sleep he’s had, being rational was the last thing on his mind right now.

You met Tsukishima 2 years ago when you had just moved to your apartment. He was the next-door neighbor and you would greet him every morning. A few weeks passed and you guys suddenly became friends because you share the same interest; stargazing. The apartment rooftop was perfect for that. You accidentally met up at around 3 am, awkwardly talk with each other, and would go back about an hour later.

You were interested in him and was happy that you finally got the chance to talk. Although you admit, he was a bit cold and snarky with his comments but other than that he was fun to talk to. The next day you met up again, then the next day, then the next, and then the next. This became a regular thing for both of you. Of course, that was before the busy schedule you both had. Now, you’d probably meet up twice or three times a week.

And with that frequent emotional talks, you both grew closer, and eventually, Tsukishima confessed to you one night. So here you were, two years of being together. There were playful insults thrown at each other, but never actual fights. Your favorite was when he would diss you non-stop when you’re not taking care of yourself.

“Can you just eat? I don’t want to drag your ass to the hospital.”

You would often visit him every morning before his class starts and these were one of those mornings. You visit him in his apartment and there you saw his boyfriend, holding his head with his left hand as he held a paper in the other. A thick stack of papers was right in front of him. You’re guessing it was the assignment he’d been working hard on since last week – because he didn’t totally complain to you at all about it for the past week.

“Didn’t you say you have morning classes today?” Tsukishima asked, his eyes not leaving the paper.

“No. The professor called in sick today, so I’m free.” You teased as you sat in front of him. He scoffed and mumbled something about how lucky you are.

“Do you mind if I go get a drink?” You asked, already on your way to the dispenser.

“Sure,”

You gave him a mini thanks and searched for the glass in the cabinets. Once you got it, you filled it with water in the dispenser.

“When is that due?” You asked the glass was now filled. You walked over to him again as he hummed.

“Tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay.”

You sat in front of your boyfriend once again, watching how his eyebrows were furrowed and how he had eye bags under his eyes. You took a sip of your drink and frowned at your dead-looking boyfriend. You wanted to help him, you do, but you don’t know how. You looked at his knitted eyebrows and an idea popped up in your head.

“Kei,” You called. He only answered with a hum. Pouting, you called him once again,

“Kei, Look at me,” Finally lifting his head, you put on a silly face that he always despises, but secretly found funny.

“What are you doing?” he asked, shaking his head as he tried to stifle a laugh. Seeing that it wasn’t good enough, you leaned in closer.

“I don’t know. I just feel like there’s something wrong with my face, is there?” You asked, still making the face. Tsukishima finally laughed and you were happy to see your boyfriend smiling.

You cheered, but while doing so, your hand suddenly knocks the glass of water in front of you, spilling the liquid all over the table. The stacks of paper in the middle soaking up all the water. The room was now dead silent, both of you staring at the stacks of paper and spilled water with wide eyes.

Your look at Tsukishima and the paper, your eyes shaking at the horrifying expression the boy across you had.

“K-Kei-“

“What did you do?” He asked, his voice low.

“I- I accidentally-“

“Did you know how long it took me to print out all these?!” You flinched at his shout and your feet felt like it grew roots. You stared at him, trying to form words to apologize, to calm him down, to reason with him, anything. But all you could do was stare, mouth agape.

Tsukishima walked past you, going to the kitchen to get a towel. He walked right back towards the table and wiped the spilled water.

“Let me help-“

“No. Just-“ He sighed, scrunching the soaked paper in his hands.

“Just get out.” Tsukishima continued to wipe the table, his back now facing you.

His words felt like knives in your chest. There wasn’t a hint of his everyday cynical attitude in his tone at all and you were scared. Afraid of upsetting him more, you bowed a full 90 degrees, mumbling a shaky apologize as you took careful steps out of his apartment.

If anyone were there to see you walk by, they’ll think you just exited from a murder scene.

Back in your apartment, you sat on your couch, still trying to process all of it. You spilled water into his work he’s been doing for a week and he just kicked you out of his apartment without sparing you a glance. You were screwed.

You jump a little when you hear a door slam, you stared at your door.

Kei must be on his way to campus…

After an hour of staring at the ceiling, you mustered the courage to text an apology to him. Shaky hands and eyes a bit watery when you pressed send. Sighing loudly, you lay there on your couch, trying to calm yourself down and think of a way you could make it up to him.

“Can I send it to your email just in case? You know how my laptop is.”

You jolted from your position, eyes wide. The memory of Tsukishima’s voice replayed in your head as you frantically open your laptop. You opened your email and your heart races with excitement as you quickly downloaded the file as you ran to your bedroom to get your USB. Running back to the living room, you hastily plugged in the USB and surprisingly got it in the first time. Copying the file to the USB, you grabbed your jacket, tote bag, wallet, and ejected the USB as you dashed out of your apartment for a copy shop.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

You leaned on the railings on the rooftop as you sighed. The wind softly blowing against your features as you looked down at the almost empty streets below you. Most of the lights in the surrounding buildings were off and the sky wasn’t that dark anymore. The moon was slightly on the west side, still illuminating the night sky. The stars above you twinkling as you’re enveloped in silence. It’s the perfect night.

After you had printed out all the papers, you put it in two clear folders, re-check the order, and finally set it nicely inside Tsukishima’s mailbox. You text him to give him a heads up, but you’re still worried if he even read your texts. You took out your phone from your pocket, the screen telling displaying “03:00”. You opened your lock, the wallpaper – a picture of you and an annoyed, blushing, Tsukishima – made you miss him even more.

You open your message with Tsukishima, he still didn’t read your message.

What if he didn’t see my message? What if he already printed out a new batch of it? What if- huh?

You eyed your message.

Tsukishima had just read it.

Just as you were still confused about what to do with this information, you hear someone clears their throat behind you. You flinched and turned around. Your eyes meeting those familiar golden ones. Tsukishima was staring at you, his face stoic and cold as ever. He was wearing his grey hoodie with a roaring dinosaur in the middle, his hair was a little messy but it looked cute on him.

“K-Kei! I almost had a heart attack!” You held your phone to your chest in hopes to calm your beating heart.

“You’re being dramatic.” He said, walking up to the railing and leaned against it.

“So, I heard you spilled water on someone’s project-“

“Kei-“

“That they worked HARD for,”

You winced, hearing him emphasize. You stared at your boyfriend and he was staring right back at you with his smug face. You looked down and fiddled with your fingers.

Tsukishima felt like he was scolding a puppy. He felt the tiniest guilt, but he didn’t want to let you go that easily.

“I’m guessing that’s why you’re here right now, even though you have an 8 am class tomorrow.” He teasingly scoffed. Usually, his teasing would make you feel less tense but it didn’t seem to be working right now. He sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair.

“Thanks,” His voice was above a whisper.

“Huh?” You snapped your head up in shock. What was he thanking you for?

“I got the package you sent me,” He gave you a side glance.

“But you just read my message?”

“I saw you putting it in my mailbox.”

“Oh,”

There was silence once again. Tsukishima stepped closer and abruptly snaked his hand on your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. You looked up at him and you can see the small blush on his cheeks, his eyes were looking at anything but you.

“Sorry about getting mad at you,” He said in a rather gibberish mumbling, but you were glad you could make up what he was saying.

“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who spilled that water.” You said, reaching up your hand to pinch his cheek.

“Besides, stop acting like that, it’s weird.” You pulled his cheeks, riling him up.

“Will you stop that?” He batted your hand away and you laughed at his bashful sight.

“Let’s just go back, it’s freezing up here and I don’t want to take care of you when you catch a cold.” He groaned, his hand still around you as he walked back towards the entrance.

“What makes you think I need you?” You pinched his sides.

“I don’t know. I’m afraid you might flood the whole apartment if I don’t,”

“I told you it was an accident you salty excuse of a human being!”

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll squish you,”

“If you mean squish as in cuddling, then I won’t shut up!”

Tsukishima suddenly leaned in and placed a kiss to your lips. His actions catching you off guard. He plastered on a smirk, seeing that his plan had worked.

“If I talk some more, will you kiss me again to shut me up?” You asked,

“No. I’ll throw you off this rooftop.”

“You wouldn’t-“ Tsukishima gave you a daring glare, his grip on your arm tightens. You shut your mouth immediately and looked forward.

“Okay! Shutting my mouth now.”

You both ended up cuddling in his apartment that night.

[villainess-apologist]

here are my thoughts on my second watch of wandavision episode six!

a halloween special in february! I’m wondering about the timeline of wanda’s reality because I think the very first episode took place in august, according to a calender where vision works. maybe wanda jumped to a holiday to take vision’s mind off the cracks beginning to show? 

I LOVE THE MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE THEME SONG?? especially agnes’ part oh my god I love her <3 but the lyrics are very creepy, honestly, and they really fit the situation everyone finds themselves in

the set is basically taken from malcolm in the middle as well, and the kids talk to the camera just like malcolm did ahH I love this 

I don’t. trust this pietro. he and wanda have different memories and. he just feels off to me? 

wanda’s original costume! she looks so beautiful! vision’s costume! ,, he does look like a traffic light-

oh the tension between wanda and vision makes a reappearance! I wonder if in between episodes, they came to an uneasy agreement? or if pietro’s reappearance was enough of a distraction? 

the fandom is divided on many things, I know that, but we can all come together over our collective hatred of hayward <3

but seriously, hayward is definitely antagonizing wanda and painting her out to be the bad guy. he was experimenting on vision, and possibly on wanda, and now maybe he wants to erase all evidence of that? 

I just think the Chaos Trio is amazing in everything they do

pietro knows way too much about what’s going on, and he’s not afraid to break character or casually reference things he shouldn’t know about,, I’m suspicious

herb is relatively self-aware and breaks character for a second to ask wanda if she needs anything changed. he asks the question really delicately like he doesn’t want to make her upset or scare her, but he doesn’t really look that nervous or frightened 

people are glitching the farther away they are from the center of town, and the poor woman repeating the motion of hanging up the ghost is crying silently. the townspeople are aware of what’s going on, but most of them can’t break character

THIS FREAKING COMMERICAL? it’s highkey TERRIFYING? can someone please help me understand what part of wanda’s life it is referencing? actually. I’m not sure I want to know it freaks me out so much-

hehe “the incredibles” and “the parent trap” are playing in the movie theatre, but the former came out in the 2000s so wanda’s reality is definitely not as detailed as before. but both movies reflect the situation in her reality, so that’s so cool!

the edge of town near the border gives me horror movie vibes 

ahh,, the agnes scene,,, I have so much to say about this

there is no laugh track anymore, which makes sense because those started to die out in the 90s, but the moments where the laugh track cut out in earlier episodes really made the situation very unsettling. don’t worry though! the agnes scene managed to be just as unsettling and freaked me out even without the added unease of the missing laugh track-

can someone please give kathryn hahn some kind of award for that scene?? the way she plays an emotionless, blank character, and then a tragically hopeful character turned into a frantic and hopeless one, and then snaps back into her cheerful neighbor character in the sAME SCENE?? PLEASE I GOT CHILLS

I do wish she had tossed in a random diss toward ralph when she was driving away, but alas,

it’s never a good idea for a trio to split up 

pietro scares me

poor wanda definitely needs therapy 

I feel so bad for vision; he just wants to escape and get help for the townspeople but his wife is using her fictional reality as a form of therapy :/

pietro crossed the line (it was only a matter of time) 

wanda’s display of power at the end of the episode is insane- how does she have this amount of power? how many people were taken into her reality? how far could the boundary of her reality spread? could she maybe turn the entire world into her ideal fantasy? 

final thoughts: 

:) what

I’m going to have to make a separate post on my thoughts on agnes’ scene I think (within the next day or two) 

[dailyaudiobible]

07/30/2021 DAB Transcript

2 Chron 26:1-28:27, Rom 13:1-14, Ps 23:1-6, Pr 20:11

Today is the 30th of July, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible, I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today, as we continue the journey and we are right…right at the threshold of turning the page into another month. Yeah, we’ll end our week tomorrow while simultaneously ending the month of July. But that's tomorrow and this is today and we have the next step forward today before we get to those steps out in front of us and so let's dive in. We’re reading from the New English Translation this week, 2 Chronicles chapters 26, 27 and 28 today.

Commentary:

Alright, in the letter to the Romans today Paul is continuing to kind of lay out a framework of what a redeemed or renewed life looks like and we were talking about that some yesterday. He's continuing that theme in today's reading and it's in today's reading that it gets boiled down to the essence. The essence is love and its…it's not supposed to be anti-climactic like it’s not supposed to be like everybody knows that love is the answer. If we know that then what's going on in this world? If we know that what's going on in the body? For Paul he is saying, like the law tells us, right the Commandments tell us don't commit adultery, don't commit murder, don't commit theft, don't covet. These are some of the 600+ Commandments that we find in the Bible and Paul sums it up and he’s not the first person to do this, but Paul sums it up, saying, hey, let's remember something, everything boiled down to its essence results in “love your neighbor as yourself, love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law” and basically the logic goes like this, you can't break those commandments while doing it in love. Right, so you can't murder someone in love. You can't covet in love. You can't commit adultery, if you're married to somebody and you’re stepping out on them, you may think you're in love, but the devastation that follows, that is not love. We’re to love our neighbor as ourselves and we’re also told to do unto others as we would have them do to us: the golden rule. So, it kind of boils down to treat people the way that you would want to be treated. But it's bigger, love people the way you want to be loved. And that may be some internal work for some of us because we don't know how we want to be loved, we don’t even really know what that looks like, that's not been what our story has been. Love is been distorted for us so we have to go back to the example of Jesus in the way that He loved in the way that He conducted himself because He is the model. He is what we are being transformed into His likeness that we are like Him on this earth and that he loved us so much that He came to rescue us. And so, we having believed this and having the spirit inside of us renewing us, we must know that love for us is within us because the spirit of Christ is within us and so we are loved from the inside. We are to receive that love for ourselves, the love of God for us and then reflected out into the world. So, in some ways it begins with us, loving ourselves, as Christ loved us and then we can love our neighbor as we love ourselves. This right there, it's not so tricky that we don't understand and it's not like we didn't know all this before we talked about it. That, though, that can change our whole life. Like that changes the direction of everything. So again, let's ponder that as we move through the rest of our day.

Prayer:

Holy spirit come; we invite you into that. We become aware of your overwhelming love for us. And that that love, it's not withdrawn from us when we fail as if it's something that comes and goes; it lives in us. Your Spirit is within us and You love us, and so, we are loved from within and without and we can live this way toward one another. When we stop with the comparison and we try to stop the competition. Instead, just try to be who we were made to be and love how we were made to love. Come Holy Spirit into that we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

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And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayers and Encouragements:

Hey everyone DAB family this is Jimmy from the East Coast. I would like to just pray for the lady, the missionary from Libera. It’s a couple, it about a week or two behind right now but I just want to just say just fall into God’s arms and we’re praying for you and we’re covering you in prayer. God’s got you and just rest in Him now and watch the goodness of how He has already prepared for all these things you’re going through, just trust and believe and rest. Father, we just thank You for this missionary and her husband and everything, we know they’ve went through a lot for your namesake and we just pray Lord God that You just lavish them with Your glory and show them how much You care and love them and take care of them. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Good morning, Daily Audio Bible family. This is Tieara from Texas and I wanted to come on after hearing Shena from Canada ask for prayer for her boyfriend who was falsely accused of a crime and was charged. My heart hurts in that aspect because there are so many of our brothers and sisters who are falsely condemned and falsely persecuted. And, I can only imagine how much worry and grief and anxiety that you’re having Ms. Shena and I’m sorry that he’s going through this, you have to go through this. You have to wake up and he’s not there, you have to go through some court systems and stuff like that and I’m sorry the justice system in Canada takes so long. I just pray for the truth to be revealed. In the name of Jesus and the Holy Spirit guides you and your boyfriend in this difficult time. I ask that all of us can come together and be empathetic and just pray for this to come out of fruition Father and that You protect Your daughter and You protect Your son and Your will and Your way that You move however You need to move for Your light to shine. And for Your name to be glorified in the situation Father. She also said something that has stuck with me as well, she said “thank you God for giving us life even when we go through struggles” and I just want to pray for all of us who are struggling as well. These blessings I ask in Your Son’s Holy name Jesus. Amen.

Hello, this is Theresa phoning in from London. I’m phoning in response to the 13-year-old young man who phoned in from Georgia. I was so blessed by your phone call, I really was. Your…your situation sounds like all of ours. A lot of times we allow things to, you know, we have that saying life got in the way and you say you started off strong in January and then things got tough at school and then you stopped listening and I to have been there. So, I know how you feel but I love the way you reflected on things and you said that basically you know your mistake and you should’ve prayed about it and how many of us can say the same thing. So, I pray for you young man, I really do. You sound like a wise, you have a wise head on your shoulders. So, Father, I just pray for this young man, I pray that You would bless continue to bless him in his studies. I pray that You continue to pour out Your favor and wisdom upon his life. May You truly order his footsteps. May you direct him for Your glory and for Your honor. May he be a blessing to his family and to all those around him and also help him to continue to list to the Daily Audio Bible. Father, I thank you for this platform. Jill, Brian, thank you so much for this platform, it’s wonderful and I just praise You and thank You Father in the name of Joshua Hameushua. Hallelujah. Amen.

Hi family, it’s Shannon from Texas. And I desperately need some prayer. I am hanging on by a thread. I don’t know what’s going on with me I was doing okay for a while and I feel like I just haven’t had, I don’t know, anything good happen. Like, I don’t…I don’t know, I am just not doing well. My son is about to get out and I think that’s the biggest part of the emotional, just, stress. Because everything…it’s like the world was kind of soft when he went in and I could finally take a breath and now he’s getting out and it’s just like that six months went by so fast and it’s like, I don’t know, it’s a lot of emotion. Because of all of the turmoil before he went in and I can’t even put into words all that goes into that. And then just like, I feel like I’ve been dissed and ___ by so many people. It’s like left and right from the people that I work…I feel like I’ve been a servant which is like okay that’s what I’m supposed to be doing but somethings not right about this because it’s hurting. Like, I’m ready to break from it because I know this is not where God wants me to be. And these people, I feel like my friends and everyone, I don’t really have any left. They’re like talking about me like I’m beneath them cause I’ve been it’s like yeah, I try to replace for so long. It took time for me to be lifted out of it. And I just, I can’t do it anymore. So, I rarely cry I rarely so emotion.

This is Heather from Missouri and I am Just Tired, I don’t think you ever said your name, Amen. Thank you, thank you for calling, thank you for confessing your feelings. I don’t have words or wisdom for you sir but I think you made a good step today, confessing that. It was awesome. Sometimes we all have those day. Sometimes we all live and and I don’t think we confess it enough. And I wanted to say thank you brother thank you for putting it into words. Thank you for being strong enough to step out and say it, out loud to a different community. Again, I don’t have words of wisdom. I live with things that I’m trying to give up and blah blah blah. Thank you, just thank you for confessing it. Thank you for saying it out loud. Thank you for being strong enough to say it out loud my brother. You are awesome for today on the daily prayer that I was listening to. God bless you and this, that you put out there. May he lead you to where you need to go to find that understanding. I will keep you in my prayers brother. Love you.  

[bobasheebaby]

75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid 

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss 

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss 

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan 

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#68 Jessi and the Bad Babysitter: Chapter 10

I think Jessi wins the award for Dumbest Thing Said in a BSC Book Ever in this chapter. You’ll see what I mean.

Jessi gets to the Pikes five minutes early and, sure enough, Wendy isn't there, even after Jessi begged her to show up early the day before. Mallory reassures Jessi that she'll probably be there in a minute (especially considering, you know, Jessi showed up five minutes early), and Jessi explodes, “I specifically asked her to be on time!” Whoa, calm down. You're turning into Kristy! Besides, you're early; if she arrives right after you, she's still on time! Jessi has a warped understanding of how “on time” works.

Mrs. Pike asks Jessi where Wendy is, and Jessi says she has no clue. Jessi tells them to go, Wendy will probably be there soon. Mrs. Pike panics over the thought of Wendy not showing up and decides to sit around for a few extra minutes. Since the Pike kids will all melt into puddles of goo if there aren't two sitters there and it isn't that important to get What's-Her-Name to the doctor right away. She says she can't cancel the appointment though because it was the only available slot when she called last week. What the hell kind of pediatrician do the Pikes use that doesn't take patients on an emergency basis?

And while we're on this tangent, why is it such a huge issue if there isn't a second sitter there? I know, I know, more than 4 kids = 2 sitters. But the Pike kids are drinkers of the BSC Kool-Aid, they're only a handful if the writer wants to show how chaotic/wacky they are, or if they're doing one of their ~projects~ and this one isn't their brainchild. The rest of the time, they practically take care of themselves! And Vanessa and the triplets are 9 and 10. When the series started, Mallory was helping out and she was, oh yeah, 10. And two chapters ago, we got this whole thing about Vanessa being responsible and able to help out with watching the younger kids. What? Already forgotten? And the other Pike kids aren't expected to help out the way Mallory does because she's the family punching bag? Ok.

Jessi finally gets rid of Mrs. Pike and Mallory by promising if Wendy doesn't show up in 15 minutes, she'll call Aunt Cecilia to come over and help. Jessi says she doesn't even like the idea, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Anyway, Mrs. Pike finally takes a hint and leaves with Mallory, anxiously reminding Jessi to do something if Wendy doesn't show up. Geez, calm the hell down, Mrs. Pike! After they get the hell out of there, Jessi does the usual “make the rounds and see what the kids are doing” routine. The boys are playing Nok Hockey downstairs, again the triplets have no problem letting Nicky play with them. And upstairs, Vanessa's doing her homework and Claire's doing a puzzle on the floor. Claire says Margo kicked her out of their bedroom. Jessi heads over to the younger girls' room, wondering why Margo would do that.

Um, let's see. You caught her shoplifting the other day, she was acting secretive and weird last time you sat for her...you don’t think she’s holed up in her room with the ring she stole? Geez, the BSC is not good at putting 2 and 2 together. Especially Claudia.

Jessi knocks on Margo's door and she doesn't answer until Jessi threatens to come inside. Margo opens up and claims she was asleep, though Jessi heard footsteps inside. Jessi wants to talk but Margo says she wants to “sleep” for like another hour and feigns a yawn. Jessi lets her and Margo shuts the door before either of them can say anything else. 

As she walks downstairs, Jessi wonders if Margo's coming down with whatever Mallory has. Are you fucking kidding me? She faked being asleep, when she obviously wasn't. Jessi herself noticed that. Add that in with all the other stuff...she's clearly hiding something and chances are, it involves her shoplifting. Jessi is such a moron in some parts of this book. The real doozie's coming up soon where she says what quite possibly could be the dumbest thing she's ever said.

Hey, whoa! Wendy's 15 minutes are up (in more ways than one), so Jessi calls her house first. Mrs. Loesser answers and says Wendy had a babysitting job after school. Jessi wonders if it's the Pike one or if she forgot about the Pikes and took another one without telling the club (blasphemy!). She asks Mrs. Loesser to call her at the Pikes if she comes back and hangs up. Now what? Things are calm and quiet, so she has half the mind to keep it that way. But Mrs. Pike wanted another sitter there, dammit! And Jessi's in no rush to call Aunt Cecilia, so she goes looking for someone else.

The victim is Mary Anne, who doesn't have a sitting job until 7:30 but was going to spend the afternoon working on a paper. Jessi calls her, begging her to come help out, since Wendy isn't there. Mary Anne says she can't because the paper's due tomorrow and since she's been so busy with the BSC, she's had like no time to work on it. Kristy, when the sitters' academic time is suffering, IT'S TIME TO HIRE NEW SITTERS AND NOT BE AN UNWELCOMING BITCH TO THEM! Bring on the Shillaber twins, we haven't heard from them in ages.

Jessi begs her again and Mary Anne says she will, as long as she stays at the kitchen table to work on her paper and is only called on in an emergency. Uh...doesn't that defeat the purpose of having another sitter if she's going to pretty much be useless?

Mary Anne shows up, armed with four books and a pen behind her ear, explaining that the paper counts for a quarter of her grade. What the hell is she doing taking tons of babysitting jobs if she's got a bigass paper due? Forget this whole “Seven sitters is ENOUGH!” crap, hire more people and keep them! Even if they are normies. And geez, Mary Anne, no Kid-Kit? You're slacking!

Well, not long after she arrives, there's a knock at the door. It's Wendy! Jessi demands to know where she's been. Oh no...she is turning into Kristy!

Wendy starts to say something, then notices Mary Anne's there and stops herself. Mary Anne asks if everything's ok and Wendy tells her she had something to do at school that went long, and she knew Jessi would be at the Pikes, so she thought it wasn't a big deal. Nice save. Jessi reminds Wendy that Mrs. Pike asked for two sitters, since her three next-eldest are unable to babysit, being that they're a year younger and oh-so-immature. Wendy responds, “I knew you'd get here on time!” and smiles but Mary Anne and Jessi are not amused. 

With Wendy there, Mary Anne gets out of there faster than Claudia in a library and that's the last we hear from her on this...or is it?

After Mary Anne leaves, Wendy confesses to Jessi that she really didn't have anything at school. Well, then where was she? Just like her mom said, Wendy was at a babysitting job. Her neighbor that she usually sits for grabbed her that morning in an emergency to ask if she could watch her baby after school. Wendy said she couldn't say no to her and took it knowing the Pike kids wouldn't be left alone since Jessi was there. Strike 3 and strike 4! Wendy is going to meet her doom at the next BSC meeting...it was nice knowing you, peripheral character!

Jessi freaks out and tells Wendy that she wasn't allowed to do that! Kristy told her so! Yeah! You can't babysit for anyone unless the BSC approves it! Ok...I know Wendy was irresponsible in not calling up Jessi and telling her that she was going to be late. Not to mention she didn’t bother telling Jessi about this at school before they left for their babysitting jobs. Really not smart. But Wendy's faux pas is overshadowed by Jessi here. Seriously, this is like the stupidest shit she ever said in the series. I'm including it in its entirety for posterity:

“Nobody else knows this baby,” Wendy insisted. “She won't go to just anybody.” (OH SHIT! She just dissed the BSC!) “Besides, Mrs. Behar only asked me this morning as I was leaving for school. What was I supposed to do?” “Well, I'm not exactly sure,” I admitted. “I guess you should have told her no, or given her the number of our club.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? God, it's taking all my will power to not hurl this book against the wall. Where is the logic in that? Neighbor asks for babysitter in emergency, usual sitter says no because the BSC won't let her take jobs without everyone else's approval. Did Jessi seriously expect her to say, “I'm sorry. I'm in this babysitting club now and I can no longer sit for you on my own. Here's the number, you must call on these days only and at these times only. I know you don't know everyone else but that's what I'm supposed to do now. Hail Kristy!” This makes absolutely no sense. And despite all this, we're supposed to side with the BSC and look at Wendy as the bad girl.

And you seriously can't tell me that, like, Mrs. Newton (who, in the words of another snarker, can't go to the bathroom without calling the BSC) has never called Claudia on a Tuesday morning to ask her to watch the kids in the afternoon because a family emergency or something came up? That's such a stupid rule and I don't remember the BSC ever making a huge deal out of it before. Plot device!

Wendy gives Jessi the same response I just did, only in a lot nicer terms, of course. Jessi's response? “If all of us took our own private jobs we wouldn't have any club customers.”

Good lord, IT WAS AN EMERGENCY!!!! Of course they don't all take their own private jobs all the time, but in an emergency situation, why not? I'd rather take the job than turn it down over a stupid rule and make the club look unreliable. Hear that, Kristy?

Before they can keep arguing, the sound of another fight interrupts them. They run downstairs to find Jordan accusing Adam of cheating at Nok-Hockey. Wendy breaks up the fight and suggests they do a rematch, with her as referee. Since the BSC charges always obey their sitters, the boys agree. Argument averted. Jessi goes upstairs to do her homework (with essentially only one babysitter on duty. How is that different from having one sitter?) and thinks to herself how good Wendy is with kids. Doesn't say she's a good babysitter...good babysitters don't defy the BSC I guess.

An hour goes by and Jessi realizes she didn't talk to Margo. Whoops! She goes upstairs but just as she does, Mallory and Mrs. Pike come home. Dammit Mallory! You ruin everything! Turns out Mallory's ok...the doctor thinks she's riding out a virus and is rundown. Oh, and she also might be anemic, so she has pills for that and they did blood work. The results aren't back yet but I'm sure they're back in time for the next book, when they discover she has mono.

Jessi's relieved and I guess it sucks for Mallory, because now everyone can give her more shit than usual and not have to worry about the whole “she's sick!” thing. Everyone hates Mallory. Jessi wonders if she should tell Mallory about Margo and Wendy but stays quiet. For the time being at least. And don't worry about Wendy, everyone in the BSC will be finding out about that soon.

[allforhader]

Home

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Requested By: @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge

Part 1 | Part 2

After getting shot and recovering, Barry dedicated everything to get him and his family out of LA. It took most of Y/N’s pregnancy but when the right place was found, Barry didn’t hesitate for a second and got them out of there. Y/N let Barry take the wheel once he was well enough, but even if she was pregnant and having to handle a few things on her own, she had to make sure her husband was taking care of himself.

Oregon is beautiful when you take it all in. The scenery. The coast. You also don’t have to live in big cities like Portland to experience everything the beaver state has to offer. Barry remembers finding some sort of calm when he visited Gene’s home in the woods. He found something like that in Oregon...being more in the middle of the woods with no neighbors, takes about an hour or two to get into town for resources, and the uninterrupted sound of nature surrounding their home. It was perfect and Barry was incredibly happy to be there knowing that his beautiful wife and children are always going to be with him.

Twins. Y/N didn’t know at the time of Barry’s accident. It wasn’t until she was two and a half months along when her OB pointed it out to her. The thought of twins stressed her out but it’s exciting. Instead of raising just one little one, Barry gets to raise two at the same time. Her first trimester she dedicated almost all of it to taking care of Barry, which he hated but the man was bedridden for half of his recovery. He had to remind Y/N to drink, eat, and take care of herself when she’d come home after work, she only forgot because once she got home everything Barry needed to do regarding his health she needed to help with.

Barry found their home during her second trimester and he was recovered for the most part, so he did most of the heavy lifting while, in Barry’s words, Y/N was to sit there and look pretty. The plan on getting there was a tad more difficult than Barry could imagine. He didn’t want to be spotted at the airport and he obviously didn’t want Y/N to go alone but that’s how it went. Barry got a head start driving up there as Y/N stayed in their empty LA home before getting on a plane. That took until the end of the second trimester for Barry to meet up with her and he was anxious the entire time apart until they reunited.

Moving is stressful.

Moving to a different state is stressful.

Not seeing your husband for weeks is stressful.

Stress that shouldn’t have been put on Y/N in the first place.

But god...isn’t it absolutely amazing being held by your husband after not seeing him for a while...

A moment without stress.

When the “home stretch” in Y/N’s pregnancy came around, Y/N didn’t have many random outburst of her emotions. She really only got mad when Barry would startle her sometimes in the middle of the night by watching her sleep. Waking up to someone staring at you, even if they are your entire world, will startle you. He only really did that after reading up on the fact that since she’s carrying one more than usual, she can go into early labor and or have complications. The first thing didn’t happen, Y/N was prepared. But not for complications.

Emotions can have a physical toll on the body, you really should take care of yourself sometimes.

Well. Y/N’s husband got shot, his recovery made him bedridden for the beginning, insurance didn’t cover some of what happened so she had to work for it, being pregnant with twins is a literal weight that makes things difficult, she had to wait weeks before FLYING to go see her husband and start the adventure OUTSIDE of the hell that made all these changes happen, and change. Change is a scary ass fucking thing. But she embraced it. Even if it could’ve killed her.

When the twins arrived, complications were high blood pressure and excessive bleeding during a planned C-Section. It may have not been the same situation completely, but there was a moment that Barry had to leave and the twins went to the NICU to make sure they were 100%. The resident assisting the OB had to come out and tell Barry that complications are getting dicey and she lost a lot of blood. Now she wasn’t shot, but Barry experienced a similar reality Y/N did. She made it with flying colors as the doctors would say it.

Enough of the recap. 7 months later...

Y/N carefully steps out of the nursery looking in on her sleeping babies one more time before taking the portable monitor and leaving them to their nap. She makes her way downstairs expecting to find her husband in the living room but he wasn’t there.

“Barry Berkman...where the fuck would you be” Y/N asks herself before feeling extremely stupid when she looks out the kitchen window to the backyard.

Eventually making her way outside, Y/N towers her sleeping husband in the hammock he set up outside. Their cattle dog, Haggard, was nuzzled up with him in the hammock but once he saw Y/N he got up walking over Barry causing him to wake up when the happy dog wanted pets from Y/N. Which he always receives.

“Yknow. Instead of doing every other day shifts. We should switch up every time they wake up.” Y/N states before moving out of Haggard’s way so he could jump off the hammock and onto the grass. “We would be equally tired babe”

“Yeah but Alex and Evelyn need your energy throughout the day more than mine” Barry smiles getting out of the hammock wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist.

“Oh? They need both of us, baby” Y/N smiles snaking her arms around his neck after clipping the monitor on her belt. “Plus you always make them smile when you wake into the room, so”

Barry smiles admiring his gorgeous wife before kissing her lovingly. Soon being beautifully interrupted by the sound of the monitor picking up one of the twins whining. Y/N unhooks the monitor checking for a sec before handing it to Barry.

“You can feed the chickens. I’ll take care of the little ones” Y/N smiles sneaking another kiss before parting quickly heading back inside. “I STILL THINK ITS WEIRD THAT YOU GOT CHICKENS!” She laughs stepping inside.

Barry rolls his eyes heading toward the shed to grab the chicken feed. The few Oregon people out there have chicken coups in their town homes. Barry thought it was a good idea.

“Watch out Haggard” Barry states watching the dog move out of the way from the bin he keeps the feed in. He pulls it out about to grab a bowl but takes a knee.

Barry reaches in all the way lifting a black box out from the bottom of it. Haggard of course being curious starting sniffing the box, making Barry carefully push him away.

“Bud if you got hurt. Y/N would kill me” He states putting in the number code being their anniversary. He’s really opening it to make sure the gun is still in there, before putting back where he hid it.

After feeding the chickens and getting Haggard a bowl of his food, Barry walks inside the house finding Y/N preparing formula as the twins were strapped to her. Evelyn to her chest and Alex on her back.

“Want me to set that up as you get the twins situated in the living room, or do you got it?”

“I got this until I gotta start feeding’em, but for the mean time you can grab my favorite blanket and I’ll meet you on the couch” Y/N smiles watching Barry nod leaning in and kissing her cheek before grabbing what was asked for.

Once everything was settled and taken care of, Y/N laid in Barry’s embrace on the couch as the twins were comfortable on her chest and her favorite weighted blanket carefully lays on her. Barry couldn’t stop smiling enjoying this peaceful moment with his family. A family he fought hard for.

“I still can’t believe you convinced me to keep Alex’s name as Alex”

“Why?”

“Well, Alexander Berkman”

“Are you dissing our son’s name or your last name?”

“No no, well. We expected two girls instead of one of each” Barry laughs a bit resting his chin on top of Y/N’s head.

“I’m surprised ultrasound didn’t catch it. But honestly I hated laying down in that chair while I carried an extra ten pounds” Y/N says calmly rubbing circles on Alex’s back as he shifts a bit. “Plus. We were going to name the girl Alexis. So, you see where I’m getting at?”

“I do...I do now after you explained it” Barry states feeling Y/N move her head to look up at him in an uncomfortable position. “Hm?”

“Are you happy Mr. Berkman?”

“Oh words can’t explain how happy I am Mrs. Berkman” Barry smiles bringing them all closer to his person.

“God...” Y/N sighs with relief enjoying all of this. “All that has happened. Pays off doesn’t it?”

“Mhm”

The anxiety and stress that lead them to this peaceful outcome. Is something Barry will always protect. All those terrible years...left behind him.

No more being a hitman.

He’ll do anything to protect his home...and peace that he fought hard for.

[taexual]

HOLIC - 38 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: mostly angst

words: 4.3k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

The ride back home was quiet. This time, the road wasn’t quite as empty – and it was daytime – so Jaebum didn’t need you to keep him awake, which worked out in your favor because, while his mind was buzzing with joy, yours was foggy with dread and you wouldn’t have been able to hold a conversation even if you’d tried. So, instead, you tried to sleep but the wheels inside of your mind would not stop turning and you ended up spending nearly the entire ride back home half-laying on the passenger seat, clutching your knees to your chest – however big of a safety hazard that was – until you couldn’t feel your legs anymore.

If Jaebum minded your lack of talking, he didn’t show it and instead continued to hum along whichever song played on the radio. The sound was soothing but your heart still sunk whenever your mind gave you a reality check, crudely reminding you that you wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of your life in this car where nothing ever seemed to go wrong – and if it did go wrong, like the time you’d gotten lost, is till found a way to work out for the better. Eventually, you’d be back in your apartment. You’d have to make a decision about your future. You’d have to find enough strength to fight your fear and decide if you preferred to watch Jaebum’s career take off on the sidelines, or if you wanted to achieve success at the same time as him.

Funnily enough, the more your mind tortured you, the faster the drive turned out to be, and Jaebum was suddenly pulling into the parking lot of your building as one of his hands came to rest on your leg.

“We’re here,” he whispered gently, unsure if you were awake. “Should I keep the engine running so you can continue to nap here? Because, no offense, but I’m not carrying you all these flights of stairs with our elevator not working—”

“I’m awake,” you spoke, your voice groggy. You glared at him once you opened your eyes. “You’re a real romantic.”

Jaebum grinned. “So I’ve been told. You feeling alright?”

“Sure,” you replied with a sigh, momentarily forgetting the front you’ve been putting up ever since you left Jiho’s gallery. “Just tired.”

Now that the original excitement of the moment he’d received the good news from Jackson had passed, Jaebum’s usual perception was back and he could tell right away that you weren’t being completely honest – for one, you didn’t look him in the eye and, what’s more, your eyebrows were crinkled as though you’d spent the entire six-hour ride back home attempting to apply Einstein’s theory of relativity to some kind of astrophysical realms far beyond his imagination; also, your eyes were red even though you’d kept them closed all this time – but he decided not to push because, even though it was obvious that you were keeping something from him, he could also see that you’d meant it when you said you were tired.

“Okay,” he said, undoing his seatbelt and then helping you undo yours. “Let’s go home and sleep there.”

Sleeping, however, was not what you did once you were back in the apartment. Your mind was still hazy with doubts and uncertainty about your future – by all means, you did look like you needed to sleep for, at least, a week to recover from this trip – but Jaebum was extremely alert as he kept checking his phone every three seconds, only allowing himself to yawn when he was sure that he had no new notifications. You knew exactly why he was fidgeting so much.

“Go,” you told him after you’d changed into sweats and saw him still very much immersed in his phone in the kitchen. “Jackson is probably waiting for you.”

“He isn’t,” Jaebum replied with a sigh, putting his phone down on the island in front of him. “He hasn’t been replying to me since we got back to the city.”

“That’s just twenty minutes, then,” you said, watching him take a deep breath and then, very ceremoniously start pacing around the kitchen island.

“Yeah. Plenty of time for him to occupy himself with something else. Something more exciting than… this,” Jaebum gestured his hands around vaguely.

You shook your head. “What could he possibly find more exciting that his best friend’s big break?”

“Jackson? Anything once the initial excitement dies off,” Jaebum replied. “I mean, he’s one of my closest friends, but, I swear, the guy has the attention span of a squirrel. He’s probably off at some party already, his phone long forgotten.”

For a moment, you could not understand why your heart seemed to perk up at the mention of a party. And then you were struck with the bitter recollection of the conversation Jaebum had had on his phone at the convenience store of the gas station last night.

You squinted your eyes, asking carefully, “does Jackson know Cassie?”

“Cass—why?” Jaebum stopped moving. He realized the answer to his own question a second later. “Oh. No. I-I mean, he does. They were friends, too. Well, sort of. But no. He’s not there. T-that party is on a whole different level for us now. Even for Jackson.”

“Right,” you said, swallowing. The party didn’t seem like such a huge deal when you were hundreds of kilometers away from it but now that you were back in the city – and Jaebum’s friend was suddenly MIA – you were starting to grow more worried about it. “Maybe the sound of his phone is off. Or maybe he’s doing something important. I’m sure he’ll get back to you soon.”

Jaebum nodded, allowing your words to comfort him because he could still recognize the traces of exhaustion on your face. “You should go get some sleep.”

“How can I sleep when you’re this close to filing a missing person’s report on Jackson?” you teased, hoping that the playful jab will take the attention off of the evergrowing pile of anxiety on your shoulders. You were probably slouching already, the weight of your worries getting too much.

“Sure, make fun of me,” Jaebum said, finally sitting down on a stool nearby and then – seemingly inconscpicuously – nodding his head towards the stool opposite him, across the island. Your designated spot. “I’d really lose my mind if you weren’t here. Oh—I realize how selfish that sounds now that I’ve said it—”

“No,” you cut him off, sitting down. “I like to be useful. Talk to me about what you want your first album to be like. Distract yourself from waiting.”

What you were really hoping for – in a way that certainly was selfish – wasn’t just for Jaebum to momentarily forget that Jackson was ignoring him – although that would surely be beneficial for your poor neighbors downstairs who have had to listen to your creaking floorboards make noise non-stop since you’ve returned to the apartment – but also for yourself to forget the stupid party that Jaebum’s ex-girlfriend was essentially throwing for him, and the stupid interview at the gallery where Jiho’s stupid face showed up with his stupid offer that your stupid life depended on.

The whole situation you were in was stupid but then Jaebum sighed with a shake of his head and you saw the first glints of smile on his face, and, suddenly, the weight on your shoulders got lighter. That was his specialty, you’ve learned – Jaebum was the only person able to teleport you into a different reality, leaving your anxiety behind, with just one smile.

“I’m not sure if it’s going to work,” he said then, but the same yearning smile was still on his face, “since I would, basically, still be talking about the very thing I’m supposed to distract myself from.”

“Yeah, but you’d be looking at it from a different perspective,” you disagreed. “Hopeful instead of desperate. So, come on. Tell me. Are you going to return to your rapper roots, maybe include some diss tracks?”

Jaebum laughed, shaking his head. “No. The only song remotely close to a diss track that might make it to the album is “Don’t Touch Me.””

“Hey, that’s a start!” you clapped your hands supportively and Jaebum laughed. Finally. “Have you thought of any titles? First name usually works well for debut albums – I can just see it on the shelf at our local grocery store, “Im Jaebum by Im Jaebum: buy one get one free.””

He was laughing again. “Are you saying my albums will sell so bad, they’ll have to put it on sale to get rid of the remaining copies?”

“No, I’m predicting that you’ll be releasing new albums so fast, the salespeople will have no choice but to put them on discount or else every music section at every store will only feature your works,” you replied. “Although, now that I think of it, that doesn’t sound so bad. Imagine all the money you’ll make.”

“I’m not in it for the money,” he reminded you.

“No, I know that. But, still, imagine,” you said and then added teasingly, “maybe you’ll even earn enough to pay me back for enduring you for so long.”

“Hey!” Jaebum shot back, “this was going so well and you just had to ruin everything.”

“I can’t keep stroking your ego,” you explained, “God knows it’s already big enough.”

“Oh, big enough,” he repeated, his mind suddenly elsewhere. “I see. What else is big about me, I wonder?”

You squinted your eyes, reading through him but refusing to give him the satisfaction.

“Hmm,” you pretended to think, leaning on your elbows. “I can’t seem to come up with anything else, to be honest. That must be it.”

Jaebum watched you for a moment, his own eyes narrow and glistening. Then, he shook his head and warned you with a dead-serious expression, “you’re going to get it one of these days.”

“Oh, exciting,” you said. “What am I going to get?”

“You—” the buzzing of his phone interrupted what was undoubtedly going to be a very witty response and Jaebum lunged to pick the device up from where he’d left it before he sat down.

You watched him read the message and then turn to face you with wide eyes.

“It’s Jackson,” he said. “He wants to meet me and discuss everything in person.”

“Well, go, then!” you said, waving your hand in the direction of the front door of the apartment. You weren’t sure if Jaebum really needed your encouragement – he did, actually – because he looked like his mind was already in Jackson’s studio even if his body was still here. “Let me know how it goes when you’re back.”

“I will,” he said, not forgetting to kiss you before darting for the door – and then backing up again one more time. “I want to take you with me. But you need to get some proper sleep. Your eyes are bloodshot.”

You hadn’t realized your eyes were red but, as soon as he’d mentioned it, you started to feel the stinging sensation behind your eyelids every time you blinked. Your eyes must have been unusually dry and yet you were so preoccupied with your mind, you’d completely ignored the physical signals your body was sending.

“I’ll be waiting for you here,” you said, your smile letting him know how much you appreciated him wanting you to come with. “Don’t take too long, though, or I’ll fall asleep.”

“Never,” he promised and, after nodding his head in the general direction of your—or his; it was hard to tell —bedroom, he disappeared into the hallway.

You only dared to release the breath you’d been holding when you heard the front door close. Debating what you should do – stay in the kitchen and stare at the empty living room area ahead, or return to your room and stare at the walls of your empty bedroom instead – you toyed with the corner of the countertop of the kitchen island. Now that you were alone in the apartment, everything you’d kept inside was suddenly rushing to the surface and you realized you weren’t going to be able to keep sitting still for much longer.

You needed something to occupy yourself with, so you went to take a shower and purposefully played loud music to drown out your thoughts. It helped for the first few songs – because you could sing along under your breath – but then your playlist decided to introduce you to some new – melancholic, of course – music you’ve never listened to before and, immediately, you found yourself standing in the shower, with your head down, the water pouring on your hair and sliding down your shoulders in nervous dribbles. It would have looked comically dramatic had you been watching yourself from afar.

Once you managed to clear your head by turning the knobs until the water was scalding hot and your skin was rapidly reddening, you finally started to feel less like you were outside of your own body. The steam in the shower cabin made it difficult to breathe, however, so you didn’t stay in the cabin for too long. 

The damp warmth inside of the bathroom itself, as well as the fogged up glass door of the shower and the mirror above the sink reminded you too much of Jaebum’s car on the night before your interview, and you felt your mind drift back to the trip whether you liked it or not. There really wasn’t much that could distract you from it.

After you stepped out of the shower and wrapped your hair in a towel, throwing a robe on your body, you opened the door of the bathroom to let some cold air in, and then leaned against the sink with your hip, grabbing your phone to pause the music.

You needed silence as you braced yourself for what you were about to do.

You hadn’t really taken the shower to come up with a definite decision, regarding Jiho’s proposal. The decision what to do had come to you even before you entered the shower – although, truthfully, being closed up in a small space, surrounded by water and steam, did work as a great stimulant for your mind – and if you had to pinpoint the exact moment that triggered you to reach a decision, you’d say it was the sound of the door closing as Jaebum walked out to meet up with Jackson, a lengthy discussion about his future awaiting him.

You wanted to close that door, too. You wanted that future, too.

And, as you typed the text message on your phone, you figured that maybe you didn’t need to make the ultimate decision right now. Agreeing to a meeting with Jiho when he’s back here in the city would only mean you’re giving him another chance to convince you to do this but you weren’t going to give him a guarantee you’d say yes. You thought Jiho was smart enough to realize that himself but he probably also expected you to be smart enough to understand that this was your last chance.

If you had him adjust his schedule to make some time for seeing you and then ended up saying no, he wouldn’t offer again. 

Depending on which angle you looked at this from, it could be both good and bad. Good because you didn’t want to associate yourself with Jiho anyway and, surely, his pride wouldn’t allow him to pursue you professionally – or in any other way, to be honest – any further. But also bad because this was your only opportunity to have an exhibition of your own.

Then, just as you started to think that you might have to find a different way to get yourself known in the photography world because Jiho didn’t answer your text for, at least, twenty minutes – so this was what Jaebum must have felt like in your kitchen earlier – he finally got back to you.

And he wanted to know if you were free to meet him for lunch this Tuesday.

Exhaling slowly, you left the bathroom and headed to your bedroom instead. Jiho was, apparently, still visiting the city every Tuesday, and that felt like an overwhelming reminder of all the Tuesdays you’d already spent seeing him or avoiding to see him. The bathroom suddenly felt like it was too public to agree to meet up with him again. You felt like you needed to be all by yourself as you texted him back – as if you were doing something that you’d have been embarrassed if caught – but you couldn’t find that privacy in your bedroom, either.

Since crawling inside of yourself, hiding in the deepest pit of your soul, and pressing the dreadful “O” and “K” on your keyboard wasn’t possible, you sat down on your bed, straightened your position, fruitlessly tried to convince yourself that you weren’t doing anything wrong, and then agreed to spend the rest of the weekend dreading the upcoming Tuesday.

Jaebum returned home a few hours later when you were still in your bedroom, sitting in the corner of your bed closest to the wall, your hoodie snug around your body, the hood hiding your hair and providing the perfect acoustics for the music in your earphones. You’d tried to sleep – the sitting position obviously wasn’t the smartest choice but every time you lied down and relaxed your mind, you kept imagining the argument you’d get into with Jaebum after you would tell him about Jiho, so you chose to remain seated – so the music wasn’t very loud and that was why Jaebum didn’t scare you when he entered your bedroom, his bright smile illuminating your room.

You unhooked the straps of your hood from below your chin and took the hood off, followed by the earphones.

“Did it go well?” you asked pointlessly as you clocked the bottle of champagne in his hands. The golden bottle of MOËT complimented his million-dollar smile very nicely. “It better, because that thing in your hand costs more than the most expensive pair of shoes I own.”

Jaebum laughed, sitting on your bed next to you and throwing his shoulders back as he took a deep breath, sorting his thoughts and placing the bottle of champagne on the floor next to your bed.

“Jackson agreed on a meeting with the agency,” he announced. Just as your eyes widened in surprise and your hands already extended to engulf him in a congratulatory hug, he added, “this Tuesday.”

Your heart seemed to drop to your very toes as you paused, your mind nearly going into overdrive as it reached a dreadful conclusion: you were seeing Jiho this Tuesday as well, and that meant you and Jaebum only had three days left before the familiar and comfortable road of your lives would lead you to enter the dangerous, unknown woods ahead. You weren’t sure if those woods were truly there or if they were just a mirage – a figment of your overactive, overly ambitious imagination – but now you were halfway there, and if they weren’t actually real, they surely felt like they were.

Either way,  both of your lives were changing this Tuesday.

“That’s so soon,” you pointed out, only allowing yourself half a moment of shock before throwing your arms around his neck and feeling his chest rumble as he laughed in relief – he’d noticed the apprehension in your eyes – hugging you back. “I’m so happy for you. You’ve worked so hard.”

“So have you,” he whispered into your hair. His voice was elated and you knew immediately that you couldn’t tell him about Jiho and risk staining the pure—beautiful—shade of joy on his face. “Can you believe how far we’ve come?”

You couldn’t. Everything stopped feeling real when you’d left your apartment yesterday. It was as if you got into Jaebum’s car to drive to the gallery and ended up driving right into a different reality instead. It may not have snowed ash here but your current state of mind felt just as inescapable as Silent Hill.

“For what it’s worth coming from me,” you said, “I’m proud of you.”

Jaebum pulled away. “What do you mean? It’s worth everything coming from you. You’re the person I’m most excited and most afraid to play my music to.”

“Well, I was always proud of you,” you said, afraid to sound awkward but plunging ahead anyway because your heart had started to beat too loud for you to hear your thoughts and form coherent sentences. “It just feels like it’d be more meaningful if the people who never expected much from you were the ones saying these words—”

“Fuck those people,” he cut you off with a swift shake of his head. “I’m not doing this to make them proud. I don’t care what they think about me now. I care what my friends think, the ones who have always been there for me. I care what my mom thinks; she was the first one who read my lyrics even though I wasn’t ready for her to read them yet. But I care what you think most of all because, although “Don’t Touch Me” is out there for everyone to listen, you’re the only one who knows what it’s really about.”

Before you and Jaebum had come clean about your feelings to each other – even if it was as vague as possible because you two lived off of all that wasn’t spoken out loud – you had speculated and doubted if his heart beat the same way yours did. You’d completely disregarded every instance when Jaebum excluded you from everyone else in his life, proving that he had feelings for you even when you thought that wasn’t possible, because none of it seemed believable and, instead, everything seemed too good to be true.

The most prominent instance proving that he never hated you as much as he may have lead you to believe at the beginning of your relationship, was his confession about Suji. He’d told you that you were one of the few – one of the two – people who knew this many details about his relationship with her.

“Mark knows,” you said out loud, after a few prolonged moments of silence.

“Mark knows about Suji,” Jaebum clarified, “he literally saw me go through that relationship. Jackson saw me write about it. But you saw me survive it. Not just that, y-you—you survived it with me,” he looked down, tracing the floral pattern of your bedsheet with the tip of his index finger. “So, yeah, Mark does know, I guess. And Jackson figured out plenty, too. Jinyoung and the others – they’ve caught glimpses. They understand what I’m singing about in that song, it’s not hard to figure that out. But you’re the only one who knows the meaning of every word of the song. You know it so well, really, it’s as if you wrote it yourself. And, in fact, the song probably wouldn’t have been much different if you had written it because, by the time Suji resurfaced, it wasn’t just my life she had reappeared in. It—it was our life.”

You swallowed with great difficulty, recalling his previous confession about the precise moment when he’d started to have feelings for you. You knew nothing of these feelings when you saw Suji for the first time in the kitchen right outside of your bedroom. You didn’t know that the gorgeous girl, fitting right in at your apartment as if she was the one living here, would turn out to be the central figure of both of your lives. You didn’t know that, fueled by your mutual hatred for her, you and him would, bit by bit, come to terms with your budding feelings for each other until one day, you’d be sitting on your bed, holding one another in your arms, a bottle of champagne awaiting you as you celebrated another milestone together.

But you knew it all now. Even though you and Jaebum were as far from an actual relationship as two people could be at that time, Suji didn’t just show up to wreak havoc for him because he wasn’t hers to control. He wasn’t alone anymore. He hadn’t been alone since you walked out of your bedroom on your first night here, expecting to see your female roommate return home from her errands, and, by a hilarious coincidence, seeing the missing piece of your soul instead.

“What do you want me to do?” you asked.

Jaebum blinked, caught off guard. “Excuse me?”

“I—it sounds like you’re saying all of that because you want to get something from me,” you explained lamely, your cheeks suddenly hot.

He laughed. “What? No. I’m just say—okay, I do want something from you.”

“What is it? Careful, though. I’d give you anything and, at this point, I’m afraid I can’t tell the right from wrong,” you said, unsure if you were swearing to do so much for him because you were so grateful for all that he had told you or because you felt guilty about the things you hadn’t told him. “So please don’t ask me to kill for you because I will.”

“No. I don’t want much,” he shook his head, chuckling still. There was a heaviness in his chest – the same kind that always gathered there whenever he remembered his earlier life or whenever he allowed himself to imagine how different everything would have been if he hadn’t met you. “I just want you to be with me through whatever the hell we’re about to get ourselves into and then after.”

You took his hand into yours and nodded, tasting blood inside of your mouth as you promised, “I’m with you.”

   chapter directory

[untitledscut]

Nyashinki -Lucky You Album Review (9.5/10)

Nyashinski has dropped what is arguably the album of the year so far in Kenya, I mean it’s only April, but Lucky You is pound for pound a solid album. Given this is his first solo project, I know I know there were the albums with Kelptomaniax (M4E — Maniacs forever) and a catalog of very solid singles over the past 3 years ranging from Malaika to club bangers like Free, Finyo, and Aminia to name just a few. But Lucky You takes us to a different level of storytelling and maturity that we have not seen Nyash expose us to yet (hope he still goes by this name).

Greener — Prod by Nyashinski

The album starts with Greener which is a self-produced song by Nyash, In this song we see the classic Nyash using his voice as one of the chords and laces a more mellow flow. The song is about comparisons and as it goes the grass always looks greener on the other side. It's basically an intro to set course for what is to unfold in the rest of the album. The song is more of a statement of Nyash reminding us that people will always be comparing and whatever he does people will always have an opinion that may seem otherwise (the other side).

Sweet Aroma — Prod by K Da Great

I gotta admit this is one of my favorite songs in the album. The beat by just gives the song such musicality and the combination with Nyash almost laid-back effortless flow gives it such a good finish. The song is a celebration of his success, as he hints at his come back in the first verse and how some folks are not feeling his success — neighbors complaining. Reminds the haters that he’s here to stay and the future is really bright. He continues his celebration telling us how he’s now living in penhouses and how he is enjoying his time. Best hint “watu wakingonga cheers wakicelebrate, na-wish kimoja kingekuwa kinarotate”. Certainly, Nyash is not hiding his feelings to the world.

Glory — Prod by Desmond “$ire” Bosire

Certainly, the song has a west coast feel to it…the beat starts off feeling like you’re in a low rider. The song is loaded with punch lines. Starting off with the title itself Glory, almost an oxymoron here Nyash saying he gives God the glory while the fans/industry glorifies him. He goes off to offer his first dose, “mamember hurudi home na hope, Pastor anaenda na ganji” an all too familiar situation in prosperity gospel scenes. He continues to diss promoters “Small talk yukuwa job. Ubaya ni hailipangi. Nimemaintain najiskizia, msiniite kaamnikanji”, simply stating show me the money and save your talk. “Hi ni miracle baby, Naona nikamnanidare”, he again reminds us of his rebirth into the scene, funny wordplay to compare to Pastor Deya bring miracle babies. Another diss to haters or people who aren’t putting in work and just want to shine on others backs (slay queens) “Kama ushachange na unapewa lift, Sijui utakuwa nani ukibuy kibenz”. The rest of the song is another reminder of how Nyash has turned the industry on its ears.

Traveler — Prod by K Da Great

Another solid display of producer and artist chemistry. I’m beginning to think these two have found a working formula like Nyash and Cee-do. This is one of those pick-up songs…reminds me of a bonnie and Clyde but only for a night. Nyash is putting himself in a traveler’s shoes and he’s throwing game on the road. Telling the shorty, don’t worry you will just be another memory on my mind, coz tomorrow I’ll be gone. Reminds me of his line in Sauti Sols Short and Sweet “And by sunrise, I’m gone. I’m not here that long. Keep it short and sweet”.

G.O.A.T — Prod by K Da Great

By this track, I have stopped being surprised by the levels Nyasha and K Da Great have pushed the music quality. This song reminds me a lot of a Latin song but with a very nice tempo that makes it work so well for a rapper. Nyash takes us back to how he has inspired the industry and how he is still on top of his game hence the term G.O.A.T. A key mention is the comparison to the two groups Mushrooms and P-Unit both made up of several members like Nyash used to be in Klepto, but now he’s reviving the industry (Industry ilikuwa flat kila vital sign) as a single artist. Another reminder that Nyash is back and here to stay and gives a shout out to Sauti Sol at the end as another group that has shown longevity.

Time — Prod by K Da Great

If you are a fan of artists like J.Cole, this is one of those songs is very similar to forest hill drive tracks. Nyash goes a bit philosophical on the song, showing us he is thinking of his time on earth and how he wants to maximize his time. The first verse is all about the industry and how he struggles with trust. While the second verse is more personal, he's implying there is someone in his life who makes him open up a bit more, “All gangsta mpaka tucatch mafeelings, Alafu alafu, jealousy..”. As I said this is more of a J.Cole type vibe…reminds me of G.O.M.D.

Everyday — Prod by K Da Great

Another track that brings that other side of Nyash out that we saw in Malaika. He is probably longing to see his partner/soul mate, it seems like he is writing the track while on the road. He gives credit to the Mrs and how she saw his potential, “Uliona Bima mahali kulikuwa na bicycle”. He is longing to see her and it seems she came and changed his life around and he is hoping she says I do. I guess this song is inspired by the Mrs 😊.

Lucky You — Prod by K Da Great

This is one of those songs when the artist tries to show people how what you think of the artist may not always be true. He is struggling with fame, lack of privacy and all he does is under a microscope. Takes us back to the first song — Greener…where he lays the theme that it's not always what it seems from outside. “Najua fame kutoka far inakaa painless” and “Room iko overcrowded after shows. Matym mi nataka tu kudoz” are just a few of the lines that show his struggle. In the end he reminds people that he has worked hard for his current status and it’s not just luck. Taking us back to Kapuka days and how he’s among the last surviving artist from that era.

Wach Wach — Prod by Sam “Are” Ali

Another one of my favorites from the album, such an old school vibe, you find yourself just head bopping as the beat flows. He pays tribute to Makaveli on the track, as it is one of those cautious rap tracks citing the state of the government and the levels of thievery in our society. The second verse is giving advice on how to stay on point and stay on course and ends the song with Nyash reconfirming he’s on top of his game.

Too much — Prod by Sam “Are” Ali

This feels like one of those songs were Nyash was probably just in his zone and lets out his feels. The song is more about him being on the edge and warning folks not to try him out otherwise he will unleash that stress on them.

Fathela — Prod by Nyashinski

Nyash is back on the dials with a second self-produced song in the album. You can feel the coastal influence on his flow, as he gives prop to God/ Fathela (deep Sheng meaning Father). He also plays on the word, taking the role of the Fathela as he gives advice like a father does, Usije ukapenda za bure bure pekee. Atokee anayekupa cha bure kwake upoteen.

Flowers — Prod by Sam “Are” Ali

The album comes to a close with another sweet track that fuses some traditional African sound with a nice modern Afro-beat. Certainly, another song destined to be a big club banger with a very relaxed feel of high life music. Could almost be mistaken for a Safaricom themes advert (sorry just had to throw that in there).

Overall this is a solid album with a very good mix of afro-beat, some daring tracks, and lots of culturally relevant topics. Nyash has truly demonstrated his breath and growth in the music scene. Coming back from a hiatus to still be not just relevant but setting the pace in the scene. I would have loved to see a song or two by Ceedo as I think their partnership was fire. But we know artists need to show their growth by working with other producers and Nyash didn’t disappoint.

Untitled’s Cut — by the Untitled.

[janiedean]

Do you think hollywood will ever get out of its “woke” phase or will it only get worse from here?

... I sat on this for a while and I honestly don’t know how to take it, because woke means absolutely nothing put on like that and it’s not like if movies address social justice issues or start caring about accurate representation or whatnot or what we mean for woke it’s automatically a bad thing, but like the problem with any hollywood production is that hollywood makes movies thinking about money first and artistic value later unless we count a handful of directors/people who can go a good movie that will make money (spielberg/zemeckis etc) or who are at a point in their career where their CV is so out of this world good that they can afford to do whatever they want and/or are huge names who made history who have their own money/circle/clout or their own production company (scorsese, clint eastwood etc). also the second contingent problem is that most people only watch mainstream movies that were released recently which means that everything that comes out these days is supposedly groundbreaking when in truth it’s not 99% of the time.

ps: this rant has very vague spoilers for the 2019 joker so like... thread carefully but it’s really really vague xD

now, since I apparently decided to go at this pseudo-seriously even if I think the question means all and everything, I’ll try to, but basically:

if by woke we mean performative representation/performative social justice themes/*insert-token-character-here*, it’s a 100% question of what the studios think the audience wants vs what makes money vs milking the thing until it’s dry. I mean, I’m talking in general about a genre no one on tumblr cares about, but as someone who loves bad/trashy testosterone-driven action movies every single time I see one with the Badass Female Character Inserted By Force Because The Studio Said They Needed At Least One Quota Because Otherwise People Say It’s Not Feminist I roll my eyes a lot because if I’m watching a genre which is the male equivalent of the female empowerment romcom (ie: if romcoms are the-empowerment-fantasy-for-girls the trashy action movie is the same for guys) I don’t need the Fake Strong Female Character in it because I’m not watching it for the feminism, but until people will worry about the bechdel test as the ultimate proof a movie is good then we’ll get the token character that makes no sense, but since these days the hype is there, you’ll get it because the studio wants the money;

on the other side, if we mean people want actual representation and should push the studios to have it/not whitewash characters etc it’s an entirely legitimate complaint and I don’t think hollywood should *get out of the woke phase* or whatever, but my issue is that most of the time it ends up turning performative as well. as in: you know the dark tower movie? (yeah, yeah, I hate it, I earned the right to trash talk it) when they racebent the lead everyone was screaming at how woke and progressive it was... except that they didn’t wanna hear/didn’t want to discuss the fact that the only reason they did that (imvho) was that they adapted seven books in one movie, cut the female disabled character who’s also mentally ill who’s actually black in the original canon and since they didn’t want to get called out on having done that, they racebent the lead so they looked progressive, but do we really think that doing that rather than adapting the actual black character they had which would have required at least some effort is more progressive? idk but I think it’s not. anyway: i’m all for people pushing for this, but they need to be coherent. in the sense that for all I don’t agree with clint eastwood’s political views, if you watch gran torino where the protagonist becomes friends with his vietnamese hmong neighbor, all the hmong characters were actually cast from hmong actors and if you look at interviews online with hmong people about that movie the opinion is that even if the script could have been better for some of them, they were delighted that he cast from their community and didn’t cast from another asian ethnicity that for any producer would have meant the exact same thing because figures if producers gaf about accurate casting when it comes to that. but like, hollywood won’t gaf about that until people are vocal about needing good and specific rep and not just generic ‘as long as it’s X it’s fine’;

that also goes for wanting more movies with minorities having a role - hollywood will go for giving minorities roles as long as it gives them good money/clout, but it won’t care for good movies about minorities or minority actors having good roles until people are vocal about it and/or it means money loss if they do it wrong;

(caveat: this obviously excludes actors from minorities whose work transcended that - meaning, for example will smith gets cast 85% of the time based on part and not on his skin color because he’s uber famous and he made his name in a specific genre and so on, but like we’re talking about the people who made the Upper Level of Superstar Hollywood)

anyway tldr: hollywood american movies were always 95% made for the money and reflect what they think the audience wants to pay for, which means that if hollywood producers think that people want fake woke movies then they’ll give them the fake woke movies.

this also goes hand in hand with the other problem I mentioned ie that people don’t watch movies that aren’t recent so hollywood can get away with pretending to be original when it’s actually not. now since we don’t wanna diss anything, i’ll mention a movie I actually did like *drumroll*... joker.

or, to specify what I mean:

tldr, I thought that joker was a very well-executed and planned and shot movie which had a good idea and went down well on it and was basically the batman movie nolan dreamed he was doing with the black knight and whose point was telling you that a sick system that abandons the weakest people in it (poor, mentally ill etc) and mocks them as if it’s their own fault that they aren’t better than that eventually breeds chaos and hurt and crime and it’s the fault of the system/the people in charge who don’t see it. now: that’s the least original idea in existence and I’ll go on it in depth later. except that..

when I go look at recs especially from american media, there’s a polarization between ‘OMG THIS INCITES VIOLENCE IT’S HORRIBLE IT’S DANGEROUS’ and ‘OMG THIS IS A NEW MASTERPIECE I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE GROUNDBREAKING AMAZING NO ONE EVER DID IT BEFORE’, which to me is imvho showing very clearly where we have the issue;

as in, issue one: OMG IT INCITES VIOLENCE BLAH BLAH it’s the oldest excuse in existence that has been disproved over and over and it’s just another proof of how puritan/calvinist is the viewership because the point is not inciting violence, it’s showing that as stated not giving a fuck about people who need help means growing discontent that then explodes... which again, you don’t need to read freud’s theory about the masses to know that if the majority of the population lives in shitty conditions you get revolutions;

issue two: the only original/innovative think joker has going for itself is that it’s a movie that has a way wider audience than usual *and* an actual comic book/genre film to discuss the aforementioned issue going in depth into it and not sugarcoating it. but other than that... the deconstruction of the hero/villain in a corrupt world was already in watchmen if you want a genre movie and there have been endless others pointing that out except not that mainstream (because again everyone knows what batman is and who’s the joker, watchmen is a lot more niche), the spectacularization of THAT THING on television was already in network that came out in the year of the lord 1976 and the entire movie was basically an homage to taxi driver when it came to how it was filmed/structured and I guessed 95% of what was gonna happen in the first fifteen minutes. it’s nothing groundbreaking whatsoever, but apparently everyone thinks it is because they haven’t seen either of the above movies or any other that predated this one;

now, joker is a movie I actually liked so I don’t see the lack of originality as a bad thing because that wasn’t the point, but like just to say one, hearing people say that mad max fury road was revolutionary feminist action movie and nothing else ever happened before it when there have been four alien movies before, the valid terminator movies (one and two obviously), kill bill and so on, as in stuff that existed in the eighties was honestly meh because I did like MMFR but again it was hardly groundbreaking (maybe it is for this decade and for other reasons but not for the plot). now, both of these are good movies, but like....... 95% of nolan’s movies are hailed as top originality masterpieces and imvho he’s good but not that good and if people think dunkirk is the best war movie ever it’s because they haven’t ever seen an actual effective war movie (like I can’t even believe some people said it was like two hours of saving private ryan’s first twenty minutes, five minutes of SPR were endlessly better than all of dunkirk and SPR is hardly the best war movie out there), same for about anything he does. now, that’s way beyond the wokeness discourse, but the point is that if people don’t watch other movies and then think that hollywood’s performative woke stuff is peak progressive movie when it really really really is not then hollywood isn’t going to bother producing better stuff that’s both progressive and quality (which can happen I mean have we all seen philadelphia, even if that is like... not exactly mainstream hollywood and it was a risky movie to make but anyway not the problem). tldr: people need to stop acting like the last ten years of movies have been the only era in cinema where you got progressive movies because it’s not true and for one I can 100% assure you that for all its faults tied to the era, the defiant ones is a lot more seriously woke and effective when it comes to discussing racism in the US than 85% of the contemporary stuff I see.

so, idk what you meant with the original question, but imvho: hollywood will produce fake-performative woke movies until the audience contents itself with fake-wokeness instead of actual good material or until people decide to finally stop watching only blockbusters and also give money to indie filmmakers or like nonamerican filmmakers and anyway hollywood goes where the money goes.

which mean that if the activism irl doesn’t stop being performative and becomes serious and therefore automatically turns into people asking for serious rep and not the token character/plot, you’ll keep on getting fake woke movies. (also the day people stop saying GO WATCH THAT MOVIE BECAUSE IT’S WOKE without having even seen it and having read the summary on tumblr will be amazing, but that’s not the day.)

that said, since the idea behind a lot of the fake wokeness is actually right (ie: we need more women/minorities of every kind in movies or television/we need more rep that aren’t blonde blue eyed tall white guys/we need to cast ethnical minorities properly etc) we can hope that people actually grasp the message and we get more and more movies that cast people correctly or who have good rep for the good reasons and I’m all for it because that is a good thing. fake wokeness is not. 

but anyway: hollywood stops being each single trend it is when that trend stops selling. that’s your answer. and until we all think that the oscars are top cinematography choices in existence, it’s not gonna happen.

to end it all: no one is obliged to watch hollywood movies. actually, it’s highly advised to spend your money on either foreign movies or indie movies or independent movies or riskier projects rather than hollywood blockbusters if you don’t want fake progressive stuff also because those movies usually gaf about the issues they touch and if they get money maybe it means more of them get made.

and this was my rant, idk if that’s what you wanted to hear but I guess that’s what I had to say on the topic.

[crimsonbluemoon]

Pretty Young Ohm (And Other Great Hits): OhmToonz Oneshot

Okay, so I know I just hit you all with a super sad story for DDW, but this time I come bearing a silly, fluffy, funny one-shot with Ohmtoonz! I hope it makes y’all forgive me for today and tomorrow! <3

In case you wanna heard the song, its “P.Y.T” by Michael Jackson

Pretty Young Ohm (And Other Great Hits) 

“I know he did not just say that.” The astonishment on Luke’s face felt a little over the top for Ohm, who arched an eyebrow at his next door neighbor before turning back to the pasta he was straining. Cartoonz didn’t seem done with his rant, Ryan catching his movements from the corner of his eye. “Mini, he did not just say that.”

“I think he did, man,” Craig answered, adding a few ‘tsks’ at the end of his reply.

“My roommate’s shitty choice in music doesn’t reflect on me in any way shape or form.” Panda, who’d been working on pulling the breadsticks from the oven, sent Ryan a teasing smile his way before moving the hot sheet to deposit the bread onto a plate. Huffing, he shook the strainer once more before pouring the large heaping of ziti into the stainless steel pot.

“I’m allowed to have an opinion,” Ohm defended, leaning over to snatch the jar of spaghetti sauce from Mini, who sat on the counter between the stove and the fridge.

Friday nights were always like this for the pair of roommates that lived across the hall from each other. Ryan and Anthony had moved into the apartment complex eight months ago, being greeted rather early by Mini in their moving process. Luke was introduced soon after, the four hitting it off quite well despite their differing schedules and busy lives. Friday nights tended to be the only time that the four all had off, and it was Panda who’d suggested having dinner together. The logic had been it would cost less money for each pair to buy dinner every other week than each week (Ohm didn’t have to heart to explain to his good-intended friend that buying for four every other week was the same as buying for two each week). Mini and Cartoonz had agreed, and for over three months, their weekly ritual hadn’t been disturbed.

Currently, the four were in Luke’s and Craig’s apartment, which was why Ryan couldn’t scold Mini for sitting on the counter while ‘they’ (Ohm and Panda knew it was better to keep the other two away from anything that could catch fire) prepared dinner.

“Not if it’s a shitty one!” Luke shouted, Ryan ignoring him to stir the sauce into the pasta. “Like damn, Ohm, how can you diss the king of pop like that?”

“I just don’t like his music. You were dissing the Beatles the other day,” was Ohm’s counter, Cartoonz wincing when Mini let out a gasp.

“You what?”

“Top ten anime betrayals,” Panda tossed in, snickering at the glare Luke sent Ryan before facing his distraught roommate.

“Can we focus on the real issue here? Which is Ohm saying Michael Jackson is trash.”

“That’s not what I- you’re putting words in my mouth, Toonzy.” The nickname didn’t faze anyone in the room, as Ryan used it more and more often as the friendship evolved.

Though he got along well with Mini, and Luke would play magic with Panda every Wednesday night, there was a different connection between Ohm and Cartoonz. They texted daily, even if they were supposed to be working or out with other friends. The time they spend at each other’s apartment far exceeded normal standards, and Ryan couldn’t count how many times they’d been mistaken as ‘dating’ when they went out for dinner or a movie. Panda had long ago started calling Luke his boyfriend, and he suspected Mini had been trying to get them together for months. And Ryan wanted to be annoyed with this, wanted to claim that it wasn’t something that crossed his mind every time he caught Luke smiling at him or their hands lingering a little too long to be deemed friendly. He wanted to say he wasn’t in love with the man now poking his ribs with an adorable pout on his handsome face…

But he was. He so was.

“Oh I’ll put something in your mouth.” The dirty joke was followed with another poke to his side, making Ohm giggle from the ticklish spot and the stupid statement. To escape the touch, Ohm scampered around the island, bringing the pot to sit on the marble. But Luke refused to let the topic drop. “I can’t believe you’re trying to diss like that.”

“I like some of his stuff!”

“Thriller isn’t liking MJ,” Panda said, plopping down into the chair at the table. “That’s like when Mini gets drunk and says he can dance. The YMCA doesn’t count, and neither does Thriller.”

“I’m offended with how right you are.” Mini contradicted the statement when he blew a kiss to Anthony, who pretended to pocket the sign of affection.

“I just… I didn’t get the hype for him,” Ohm admitted, glancing back to Luke with a shrug. “I didn’t own his album or anything when I was little, either. So I didn’t listen to most of his music.”

“We need to change this right now. Mini, throw on the Bluetooth.”

“I gotchu.” Craig swiped his phone off the counter to follow his roommate’s request, Ohm sighing before he leaned against the island.

“Hearing his song isn’t going to make me like it.”

“That’s just because you’ve never heard me sing it to you.” The reply had Ryan blinking, too surprised to speak. Luke was going to sing? He knew his friend enjoyed the hobby, and he did have a good voice. But he was going to sing? To Ohm? The idea made something funny twist in his stomach, and he tried not to think about it when the funky start of the song popped up.

“Oh fuck! This song is the shit.” Panda seemed pleased with the song choice, but Ryan had no idea what the song was. So instead he turned back to Luke, who didn’t hesitate to jump into the lyrics.

“You know you… you make me feel so good inside.” Ohm rolled his eyes when Cartoonz spoke the words of the intro, hating how his stomach fluttered in affection when Luke pointed his finger toward him and smirked. “I always wanted an Ohm just like you… Such a P.Y.T.-Pretty Young Thing.”

“Stop changing the song,” Ohm chided, Luke grinning before swiping his eyes to the counter that Mini sat perched upon. The slide he did was in tune to the beat of the song, dramatically leaning his arm onto the fridge beside him and singing the next set of words.

“Where did you come from lady? And ooh won't you take me there, right away won't you baby?” Mini shook his head at the fake pick up line, though Ryan could see the other’s feets swaying to the peppy beat as Luke continued to ‘flirt’. “Tenderoni, you've got to be, spark my nature, sugar fly with me.”

“This isn’t proving anything,” Ryan called out through a laugh, though Luke seemed too busy with spreading his hand through the air in front of Mini and pushing into the next verse.

“Don't you know now, is the perfect time?  We can make it right. Hit the city lights!” And then Cartoonz was pulling Mini away from his resting spot, Craig unable to hide a laugh when Luke yanked him toward the open floor of the dining room. Ryan’s head turned to follow the two,  Panda clapping once as Luke twirled Mini around.  “Then tonight, ease the loving pain Let me take you to the max. I want to love you-”

“P.Y.T!” Ryan shook his head when Mini caved to Luke’s charm, eagerly adding the acronyms to each part of the chorus. Luke’s lips continued to follow the ridiculous lyrics while he danced with Craig, hands pressed together so he could swing Mini with the acrobatic moves.

“Pretty young thing. You need some lovin'-”

“T.L.C!”

“Tender love and care. And I'll take you there. Anywhere. Yes I will-” The final spin that Luke gave Mini had him twirling into Ryan’s side by the island, and Ohm glanced up to see that Cartoonz’s eyes were already on him when he vocalized the line with the wrong word. “Ohm.”

“You are not going to convince me this is a good song, Luke.” Ryan answered, hating that he could feel his face starting to warm at the affection curled through the tone. Cartoonz didn’t look deterred from his goal, though moved his attention to the man sitting at the table. Panda whistled when Luke slowly started to slink toward him, hands sliding down his body in a way that shouldn’t have made a slight twitch of awareness spark in Ohm’s lower stomach.

“Nothing can stop this burning desire to be with you. Got to get to you baby. Won't you come, it's an emergency?” Then Luke dropped to his knees in front of Anthony, who simply winked down at the singing man and teasingly parted his legs. Ryan knew, logically, that there was nothing going on between the two. Both men enjoyed pushing the limits of social norms when it came to sexuality, so it shouldn’t have made Ohm’s lips hint at a scowl when Luke crept a hand up the other’s thigh to capture the palm resting there. “Cool my fire yearning, honey, come set me free.”

“Oh, baby,” Panda replied, laughing when Luke popped up to drop into Anthony’s lap, arm slung over the other’s shoulders to steady himself while he sung. 

“Don't you know now is the perfect time? We can dim the lights, just to make it right.” Luke added a tilt to his head in order to lean it into Anthony’s, adding to the ‘romantic’ scene he was painting in his song. “In the night, hit the loving spot, I'll give you all that I've got!”

“Sing, Ohm!” Mini called out, jogging over to jump onto Anthony’s lap when Cartoonz popped off of it to start again into the chorus. Ryan shook his head quickly, refusing to recognize the relief he felt at the separation between his roommate and Luke, now dancing around the kitchen.

“I want to love you-”  

“P.Y.T.!” The duo at the table shouted in tandem, and Ohm sent a shot of betrayal at Panda for joining the other side. Anthony showed how much he cared about the look with a wave of his hand, moving it to keep the bouncing Mini from falling backwards and cracking his head open on the tile floor.

“Pretty young thing, You need some lovin'-” Cartoonz made sure to extend the last word, just as the singer had done, eyes flickering over to Ryan while the ‘backup singers’ jumped in to assist.

“T.L.C!”

“Tender love and care, and I'll take you there.” Luke seemed more than happy to allow Anthony to take over the bridge of the song, tossing in the grunts and over exaggerated breathing that popped up in every 80s tune. Mini’s air guitar between the noises had Ryan smacking his forehead, questioning silently why he was friends with the duo. Distracted by the scene, Ohm let out a squeak of surprise when a hand curled around his waist, pulling him away from the island he was leaning on. He didn’t get far, bumping into the warm chest of Cartoonz. He glanced up at the taller man and scowled, nose scrunching when Luke tapped it with his finger before singing again.

“Pretty young things, repeat after me.”

“Cartoonz-”

“Say na na na, ” Luke continued, though Ohm simply tightened his lips and refused to comply.

“Na na na!” But it didn’t seem Mini and Panda had the same reservation, eagerly repeating the mindless words each time Cartoonz sang them. Ohm’s mind was slightly preoccupied by the arm around his waist, and how little space was left between him and Luke. The feel of the warm chest against his own vibrating each time ‘na’ was sung in a different pattern made Ryan’s stomach flip, and he awkwardly rested his hands over Luke’s chest to try and ignore the sensation. Luke took the moment to snag Ohm’s hand, but unlike Mini, Cartoonz linked their fingers together. The intimate touch made it easier to pull Ryan into the open space and dance, their hips swaying against each other as Luke sang directly to Ohm.  

“I will take you there.”

“Get him, Cartoonz!” Panda’s cheer of their neighbor made Ohm try to cover his face, but the hand that was pressed over his nose eyes was nuzzled by Luke’s nose and lips, a gesture that felt far too domestic between friends. For the first time since the start of the lively song, Luke’s voice lowered, not seeming to hear their roommates adding their parts to the chorus. It felt like Cartoonz was no longer trying to prove a point, murmuring the lyrics against the fingertips that Ryan had resting on the top of his cheek.

“I want to love you, pretty young thing.” The barest of kisses skimmed his skin, and Ryan’s breath caught the same time that his heart forgot how to beat properly. “You need some lovin', tender love and care. And I'll take you there, take you there.”

“Lu-Luke-”

“I want to love you.” Ohm’s eyes widened before he pulled back from the dance, hand falling away to catch Luke’s expression. He stared up at Cartoonz, unsure if the flush on the other’s face was from their dancing or the honesty that shone in his words despite the scripted words. More lyrics could be heard in the distance under the chipmunk voice Panda was trying to copy (much to Mini’s cackling delight), but Luke didn’t say them, his eyes flickering down to Ryan’s lips before looking back up at him. The question didn’t need to be stated, and for a moment Ohm wondered if it ever needed to. Really, the chemistry between them was kind of hard to miss.

And here, being held in Luke’s arms after being serenaded, Ohm threw every line they’d been afraid to cross to the wind. His hands reached up to cup Cartoonz’s face, yanking him down into a kiss. The slack of shock in the other’s lips barely lasted a moment before Luke was kissing him senseless, backing them up into the island in order to deepen the kiss without worry of Ohm toppling over. Somewhere in the kitchen, Mini was cheering over Panda’s whistle, but Ryan’s focus was on the delicious taste of the man now kissing every logical thought out of his mind. Hands ran over each other’s faces and necks like it was necessary to keep breathing, lips parting to share swipes of tongue too shy to cross the seam of their own lips. But the exchange felt right, so right, and Ryan struggled to open his eyes when the kiss finally broke apart. Chests pressed against each other to try and catch their breath, Ohm having to swallow twice before he could get his words out.

“Yo-you missed a part.”

“Kinda think that was better than finishing some stupid song.” Luke answered easily, hand moving up to brush Ryan’s hair out of his face.

“So now the song’s dumb?” Ohm asked, rolling his eyes despite the wide smile on his face.

“It does say ‘tenderoni’ a fuck ton of times.” Mini’s input in the conversation was ignored by Luke, who leaned closer to kiss Ohm again.

Ryan took the affection as a sign of as a win, in more ways than one.

Ahhh fluff and fun! I hope that you enjoyed it <3 Like always, please like, reblog, and let me know what you think!

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @Makosmonkey!

*****

Christmas Party AU – Yankee Swap

“Alec, stop worrying and start trusting me. You called me for a reason, didn’t you?” Alec rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut.

“Good. Thank you.” His sister was starting to sound irritated. “Dark wash jeans, one of your work button downs, and the black pullover sweater I got you for Christmas last year. You still have it, right?”

“Yes, Iz. Somewhere. I think,” Alec muttered, emptying his shirt drawers to look for the sweater he definitely hadn’t worn. He didn’t remember donating it, so there was still hope.

“Okay, found it.”

“What do you mean, ‘found it’? Ugh, you really haven’t worn it, have you? You know, I go through a lot of effort looking for things that suit you but aren’t ten miles out of your comfort zone….”

Alec stopped listening.

“Thanks Iz, I owe you one,” he said as he jabbed the END CALL button on his phone. He hated fussing over clothes, but he wanted to make absolutely sure that he made a good impression tonight. Or, at least, a better impression than what his typical wardrobe of well-worn jackets usually did. Izzy knew style, hence his last-minute panicked call for advice.

Alec raced through the shower and threw the prescribed outfit on, combing his hair before heading downstairs to the kitchen. The invitation clipped to the fridge said the party started at 6pm, and it was already 5:57. He stared at the gift he’d picked up that afternoon on his way home, still wrapped in its plastic bag from the store. “Fuck. Wrapping.”

He ran back upstairs to his guest room, shoving the closet doors open and praying that there’d be something he could use. There. A roll of plain green wrapping paper, most likely left over from his sister from when she had stayed with him over the summer. Perhaps he owed Izzy more than one favor at this point.

Back downstairs, Alec hastily wrapped the gift and grabbed the bottle of Pinot he brought for Luke every year, nearly stumbling on his way out the door. Calm down, he told himself. It’s just a party. He picked his way down the sidewalk and around a stray snowbank or two, thankful that at least he didn’t have to worry about parking; the street was already packed with cars.

Luke’s house was, by far, the most decorated one in the neighborhood. Wreaths topped with red ribbons hung on every window and candles shone from every sill. He must have used something like a mile of string lights because every single edge of the house dripped in softly glowing icicles. The giant tree in the foyer was visible from where Alec stood on the sidewalk, glittering with silver and gold ornaments.

But never mind the decorations – Alec had to remember that tonight, he was on a mission. It was time. It was past time, really. He’d just have to buck up and be brave, and do the thing he came here to do.

Right. Here goes nothing.

He rang the doorbell and was immediately greeted by Luke, fashionably dressed in no less than Saint Nick’s signature red velvet suit, arms held wide open.

“Bro-ho-ho! Alec!”

Alec snorted and shook his head. “Really, Luke?”

“Yes, really. Tonight, I’m Santa. Don’t diss the beard man, and come on in.” Alec handed Luke the bottle of wine and followed him through the kitchen and into the den, where a second tree was set up, cluttered with presents underneath. Alec looked around the room, taking in a few familiar faces that were already paired off in deep conversations.

“Ah, almost forgot. Here,” Luke shoved a stocking toward Alec and gestured inside. Alec drew out a folded post-it note with the number seven on it and shoved it in his pocket.

“Put your gift under the tree and make yourself comfortable, Alec. Mix and mingle, like Ol’ Kris Kringle,” Luke chuckled, already backing toward the kitchen to greet his next guest. “Oh, and Maia insisted on taking over Nog duty this year, so… well, just be careful not to stand next to any open flames, if you get my drift,” Luke said over his shoulder.

Alec smiled. “Gotcha.” He turned toward the makeshift bar set up at the back of the room and raised his hand in hello to Maia.

Internally, though, he was groaning. This was the part of the party he always hated. Not this party specifically, but really, any party. Small talk was much more Izzy’s thing, even their little brother Max was better at it. For god’s sake, he was a thirty-year-old man and he couldn’t even manage to attend a party by himself without feeling awkward and out of place. He busied himself by heading to the kitchen to make a plate of appetizers; at least he’d look normal holding some food.

Before settling down in an empty chair, Alec took a loop through the crowd in each room, pretending to look for someone in particular. Well, perhaps it wasn’t pretend. That didn’t mean he actually intended to talk to the person he was looking for. Not right away, at least. He’d have to come up with a something to say first.

Alec looked down at his plate, trying to identify what was in the pile that had been labeled “Mexican Dip” that he’d generously scooped onto his plate. There wasn’t much “Mexican” about it, and the cheese had re-solidified. Maybe it was best to just leave it be for now.

“Ah, alcohol; helping us survive Christmas one sip at a time. It’s Alexander, right?” Alec nearly choked on the bacon wrapped scallop he’d been chewing on. He turned toward the voice and found he was being handed a festively decorated Solo cup filled to the brim with eggnog. Magnus.

Magnus, who was loud, attractive, and always perfectly— though often unexpectedly— dressed. Alec raised his eyes to meet Magnus’, immediately imagining himself melting into a puddle just like Frosty the Snowman threatened to. Magnus was generally flirtatious with everyone, but Alec hadn’t been able to help but watch him from a safe distance every year. Alec had come here tonight with the express intention of at the very least talking with him, and if he was feeling brave enough, hopefully flirting back.

Alec had attended Luke’s annual Christmas party almost every year he’d lived on the street, but this was the first time he’d be attending as an officially out and proud gay man. Well, out. Proud was still a work in process, no thanks to the ongoing icy relationship with his parents. Logically he knew he had nothing to be ashamed about and that his sexuality was nobody’s business but his own, but his mother’s sharp tongue and father’s disinterested tone still tended to cut at him unexpectedly, even a year after coming out to them. That announcement, or actually the resulting blow up, is what had kept him from missing the party—his annual opportunity to oogle Magnus Bane—last year.

Alec stared at the drink in his hand, trying and failing miserably to come up with something to say that wasn’t ‘finally’ or ‘thank god.’

“You looked like you could use a drink; did I read that wrong?” Magnus asked him.

Alec felt completely too caught off guard to properly respond. He thought he’d have more time to plan this interaction, why is his brain suddenly blank?!

Alec shuffled his feet and was saved from further embarrassment by Luke shouting from the kitchen.

“Come one, come all! Get your asses to my den so we can get this party started!”

Alec snorted. It sounded like Luke had been sampling some of Maya’s eggnog.

Magnus touched Alec’s elbow lightly. “Well, shall we?”

Still terribly confused, Alec followed Magnus. Why on earth was Magnus talking to him? Of all the people at this party, Alec had to look the least sociable. There were far better conversationalists; even Dot, his 80-year-old neighbor, could keep a person interested long enough to tell a story or two.

They made their way through the crowd and took a seat on the stairs in the corner of the room.

“All right, thank you everyone for coming. It’s always nice to end the year with all of your faces and all of this booze.”

“Hurrah!”

“Anyway. Thanks for all the presents, you can all go home now.”

“Fo’ real this time! To those of you who haven’t had the extreme pleasure of participating in our little holiday extravaganza exchange, here are the house rules: each of you has brought a wrapped gift and put it under the tree. When you arrived, you were given a folded piece of paper with a number on it. Whichever of you lucky sonsabitches has the number 1 will pull a gift from under the tree and unwrap it for all to see. Because there were some, uh, shall we say disagreements, last year, I will allow visual inspection of the gifts. You may pick them up and gently shake them, just don’t unwrap them until you’ve made your choice. And, Mr. Bane… apparently you need the reminder that there will be NO CHOOSING OF THE GIFT YOU BROUGHT.”

“But I bring fabulous gifts!” Magnus exclaimed, clearly disappointed that he’d been caught out. Alec stifled a chuckle.

“Anyway, the next guest will choose a gift from under the tree and model it, and then that sucker gets to choose to either keep that gift or choose from one that has already been opened. I am placing NO LIMITS on the number of times a particular gift can be stolen, or the number of times a poor soul can be stolen from.”

“Ah, I see we’ve graduated to the ‘Dirty’ version of the game,” Magnus murmured. Alec turned to look at him and found Magnus smirking, eyes filled with glee. Alec raised an eyebrow in question, but Magnus just responded with a shake of his head.

“We will continue in this manner until all those presents are unwrapped and we swing back around to number 1 again – who has that, by the way?”

*Ragnor raises his hand*

“Ok, Ragnor… at the very end, you get to choose from all the gifts, including the one you unwrap”

“Damn it, that means I’m stuck here.”

“You were stuck here anyway, my friend. No one leaves until we’re done…. With both the presents and the booze!”

Alec looked down at the folded paper in his hand. Hastily scribbled on it was the number seven. So much for lucky number seven… he’d only have a handful of gifts to choose from unless someone stole his gift near the end of the game. Magnus peered over his shoulder to steal a glance at Alec’s paper with a smile and a murmured “Perfect.”

Perfect? Maybe Magnus had been looking at something else. But Alec’s attention was quickly drawn to Ragnor grumpily unwrapping the gift in the pile that had been closest to him. He finally managed to get the box open after struggling with a particularly stubborn tape job and a soft-looking throw blanket slid out of the package, piling at Ragnor’s feet.

“Lovely,” Ragnor muttered with great distaste. He shoved the blanket into the corner of the chair he occupied and crossed his arms. “Next victim!”

“Ah ah ah, Ragnor, you have to model it!” chastised Luke. Ragnor looked at him in horror, but then bucked up and shook the blanket open to drape it around him. Alec tried to stifle a giggle, but seeing the grouchiest man he knew draped in a Snuggie was wonderfully entertaining.

“However this night ends, this moment right here has already surpassed my expectations,” Magnus said beside him, shamelessly clicking off a half a dozen photos of Ragnor pouting in his chair.

Alec nervously stood to choose his gift from the tree. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have to choose the gift and open it so publicly. Something about being on display like this always made him uncomfortable. He reached for a smaller square box wrapped in purple and silver paper – at least it was practically guaranteed not to be a Snuggie. He turned around to unwrap the gift in view of the rest of the party and was relieved when the paper peeled aside to reveal a Bluetooth speaker. Huh. Something he’d actually enjoy taking home for once. “A Bluetooth speaker!” he called out to the rest of the crowd, holding it up for those who might not be able to see it.

“Nice!”

“Excellent choice, Alexander,” Magnus praised him when he returned to his seat.

“Thanks. Although I guess I should really be thanking whoever brought it. This is a pretty cool gift.”

“You’re very welcome, then.” Alec looked up, immediately caught by Magnus’ happy grin. “I’m glad you like it.”

A thought suddenly occurred to Alec.

“Back there, how did you—know my name?” came tumbling out of Alec’s mouth. Great. Perfect. Smooth, Alec.

“Well, I admit that it did take some detective work on my part. I had to ask Luke weeks ago if the brooding tall tree of a man would be attending this year, as I was remarkably disappointed by his absence last year,” Magnus said with a sly smile. “And there you were, brooding away in your corner.”

Alec ducked his head to try to hide the smile rising to his lips. “Well, you weren’t here yet. I had to wait somewhere.”

That seemed to spark something in Magnus’ eyes, at least.

“So it would seem. How have we gone this long without having a proper introduction? I’m Magnus,” he said, extending his hand. Alec took it in his own, immediately relishing the warmth radiating from Magnus’s palm.

“I know,” Alec said. “And I’m Alec, obviously.” Duh.

“Do you prefer Alec, or may I call you Alexander?”

“Uh…” Max’s sarcastic voice echoed in his head. You can call me anything you want, as long as you call me. “People usually call me Alec, but…” Alec trailed off, shrugging.

“Alexander it is, then.” Magnus smiled. “Something tells me that if I ask you to tell me about yourself, I won’t get the kind of detail I’m looking for. What if I were to ask you about this tattoo, instead?” As he posed the question, Magnus trailed a finger along Alec’s neck down his throat, causing goosebumps to chase after it.

“Ah, um. That’s… I guess you could call it a symbol of protection? It means ‘deflect.’”

“Like a shield?” Magnus asked, an eyebrow raised in interest.

“Exactly. I’ve had a lot of … well, my relationship with my parents has never been great. So when I got this one, it was like this reminder to myself to block out the bad things they said. Plus,” Alec found himself continuing, “having it so large and visible it may have really pissed them off.” He smiled. He can’t say he enjoyed that fight exactly, but he did feel freer afterward.

“I don’t doubt it,” Magnus chuckled. “Is that the only one you have?”

“No, I have quite a few, actually. But the rest aren’t so, well, visible,” Alec mumbled, feeling a blush rise. For a moment there, he’d been ready to take off his sweater and his shirt to show Magnus the tattoos on his torso.

“I see,” Magnus’ eyes glowed. “Or rather, I’d like to; at some point in the future. Perhaps this isn’t the time and place.”

Alec flushed and looked down at his hands. His attention is grabbed by the crowd around him laughing in unison; somehow, the game has moved on while he and Magnus been wrapped in their own little bubble. Someone had unwrapped a towel, half of it labeled “FACE” and the other half “BUTT”.

“Now that’s certainly more of a White Elephant gift than one for a Yankee Swap… can you say ‘regift’? Oh, that poor soul is stuck with that one, I’m afraid.”

“I didn’t realize there was a difference between the two games.”

“Ah, then you must let me enlighten you. Popular theory is that the term ‘white elephant’ came from a story about the King of Siam, who was considered to be quite the evil genius. He had a brilliant way of exacting revenge on any courtier who dared displease him – he would present them with the precious gift of a rare albino elephant. At first, the unlucky courtier would be pleased as punch, thinking that they had impressed the King. But little did they know that caring for one of those elephants was a huge and costly pain in the backside and would likely lead them to financial ruin. As such, it was called a ‘fatal gift.’ I believe the story dates back to at least the 1850’s, but as far as I’m aware, no one has been able to verify that such a king existed. Nonetheless, the term still persists in popular culture.”

“Well I’m not sure that towel will lead anyone to financial ruin, but I guess I can’t say it’s a gift I would have liked to unwrap.”

Finally, Magnus springs to his feet when Luke calls for number twenty. Magnus tiptoes through the remaining gifts and makes his selection. He flings the tissues paper out of the bag until he reaches his prize: a poster-sized world map covered in the same scratch-off material lottery tickets are made of. Before Alec has a chance to realize what’s going on, Magnus has plucked the Bluetooth speaker out of Alec’s hands and replaced it with the map.

“Next number!” Magnus calls out as he reclaims his seat next to Alec, ever so closer than they had been before. Alec smirks. “I guess Luke didn’t forbid stealing your own gift, huh?”

“No, he did not make that distinction, did he?” Magnus asks around a wink.

The game continued around them and Alec is pulled back into his bubble with Magnus. They discover a shared love of tv shows (Magnus considers himself a bit of a pop culture whore) like the Runaways and the 100, and discuss how interests of younger generations typically have a bad reputation with older generations, even though the same values and lessons can be found in them. That topic carries them until Luke asks for number twenty-nine. Magnus, caught mid-sentence, raises a finger to Alec in a request to hold that thought and rises to select another package from the tree. He returns with another gift to plop in Alec’s lap and takes back the world map.

Alec is terribly confused.

“What—” is all he gets out before Magnus interrupts him with a wry smile and a finger to his own lips.

“Shhh, Alexander. You’ll see.”

Magnus takes the opportunity to ask Alec more about his tattoos, and Alec eventually stammers that each of the tattoos he’s chosen have both a deeper personal meaning and a purposeful placement on his body. That, in turn, leads to a rather lively discussion about deriving strength from elements of pop culture like music, shows, and movies, and how fictional characters can be inspirational figures in real life. Before they get too far down that path, they’re interrupted again.

It turns out, that in addition to numbers twenty and twenty nine, Magnus also has numbers thirty three and thirty seven. He steals Alec’s gift every single round. Finally, once he has seemingly completed his turns, he takes a moment to whisper in Alec’s ear.

“Luke never puts a limit on the number of gifts that can be brought to the exchange. If you bring multiple gifts, you get to take multiple gifts home. I see it as a way to increase my odds of taking home something I want. And before you ask, I had this plan to steal your gift every turn before I even walked in the door tonight. Speaking to you before the game and witnessing that adorable blush was just the cherry on top.”

Alec doesn’t even know where to begin.

“May I be presumptuous, Alexander?”

“If you must. I can probably handle it. Maybe.”

“Would you like to find some place a little less rowdy and continue our conversation over a nightcap?”

Alec takes a deep breath. “I know just the place, actually. And it has the benefit of being close by, since I don’t think any of these guys are in shape to move their cars.”

Alec helps Magnus with his coat and gestures down the sidewalk. Magnus takes his hand, and the words “cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we” echo in his head.

They continue their discussion of how tattoos have helped Alec unlock his truth (with each one he gets, he feels a little more sure about who he is and what he stands for, what he wants to fight for). Magnus responds that he feels that Alec has unlocked something in him as well.

Alec tugs on Magnus’ hand to pull him to a stop in front of his house. “Well, we’re here,” he stammers. Magnus chuckles, clearly surprised but pleased that Alec has led him here. Fuck, that’s probably the smoothest he’s ever been, and he has no proof for Izzy that he came up with it himself.

“May I ask another question, Alexander?”

“You can ask me anything you want, Magnus.”

“Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?”

“I believe it’s possible.”

And reader, he kissed the living daylights out of that man.

[felixsaussieaccent]

To All The (Stray) Kids I’ve Loved Before | iii

Member: Changbin

i  ii  iv  v  vi  vii  viii  ix

I walked home from the cat cafe with Jeongin, who was explaining how his classmates Chenle and Daehwi both faked a leg injury to get out of running in P.E. Apparently they were running, when Chenle tripped on Daehwi’s leg, causing them both to fall and get sent to the nurse, along with Jeongin, because he was the only one who “could walk”. 

We finally got to my house, where we saw a moving van and some people carrying furniture out of the van. “Wait, you got a new neighbor?” Jeongin asked “ apparently.” I answered “Is that the new neighbor?” Jeongin asked, gesturing to the guy who just came out of the house. He looked around our age and has black hair swept to the side, he was wearing black ripped jeans and a black hoodie, he overall gave off an “emo” vibe, but like, a very hot emo vibe.

“You think he’s hot, don’t you?” jeongin asked, looking at me “What?! No!” I answered, bluffing as Jeongin gave me the ‘I have known you all my life, you can’t fool me’ look as I sighed and said “Maybe a little....”. “So, do you wanna come inside?” I asked gesturing to my house. “Nah, thanks. My mom is coming home early and I gotta pretend to study.” He answered “Honestly, mood. Well then, see you later!” I said as I made my way into my house.

~

A few hours later, when I was done studying and eating and being on my phone, well 95% eating while being on my phone and 5% studying, or as Jeongin calls it “the Jeongin system”, I heared the bell ringing and I made my way to the door, unlocking and opening it to see the hot, I mean new neighbor.

“Hi! I’m your new nextdoor neighbor, my name is Changbin and here are some sirutteok.” He said really quickly. “Um-” I tried to say something, but his good looks and emo aura kinda made me hesitent and wonder what to say.  “Thanks, I’m Y/N by the way.” I said, taking the food and smiling after what felt like 3 hours of awkward silence.

I think like 4 crows passed by during that.

"I don’t really know how to respond, usually my mom receives these types of gifts.” I said, nervous as he giggled “I don't know why we have to do it either. My mom just says it’s an old custom that brings good luck or something like that” He said as I chuckled “Well, good that I’m not the only clueless one.” I said as he smiled and nodded “Gen Z, the clueless generation.” He said.

“You’re new here, so one question, if you don’t mind me asking, which school are you going to?” I asked as he thought for a second before finally remembering and answering me. “Oh same!” I yelled “Well, at least I know one more person at the school.” He chuckled as I looked at him confused. “A friend of mine from a club.” He explained “Aaaa.” I said as he nodded. “Then I guess I’ll see you around.” He said before waving and making his way back to his house.

As soon as he left, I sprinted to my room and called Jeongin. “Jeongin, I hope you don’t need sleep but ya friend got news!” I yelled as I spent almost all night talking to him. I knew I was gonna curse at myself for not sleeping but at the same time, I didn’t care at the time.

~

Oh boy, did I regret that in the morning. I whined and complained to myself before dissing myself while getting ready and walking to school. I was greeted by Yeojin and Jisung the second I arrived at school, but not positively.

“He-why do you look like a tired raccoon?” Yeojin asked as I buried my head into her shoulder, which caused her to put an arm around my back. “I hate myself.” I announced as I heard Jisung chuckle “I mean mood, but why?” He asked as I looked up from Yeojin’s shoulder “I stayed up all night talking to Jeongin about this cute g-“ I was cut off by Jisung noticing someone behind us and yelling.

“Changbin hyung! Why wasn’t I aware that you were coming to this school?” Jisung yelled as I noticed another figure next to me. “Sorry, I wanted to surprise.” I heard a voice say, and only then did I realize it was the same Changbin that I was talking about not even a minute before.

“Changbin, lemme introducer you to my friends! This is Yeojin and Y-“ “Y/N?” Jisung was cut off by Changbin as both Yeojin and Jisung looked at us with confusion. “You two know each other?” Jisung asked as I nodded “He’s my new next door neighbor.” I explained as Jisung nodded. “How do YOU two know each other?” I asked motioning to Jisung and Changbin “We’re in the same rap group.” Jisung explained “We call ourselves 3RACHA.” Changbin added “Why?” Yeojin asked “There’s 3 of us and we wanted to say we’re hot.” Jisung explained laughing.

“Anyway, who were you talking to Jeongin on the phone with for so long?” Yeojin asked, looking back at me “Oh, no one really. Anyway, shouldn’t we be going to class?” I changed the subject and walked off with Yeojin to our fist period.

“It was Changbin, wasn’t it?” Yeojin asked “Shut up” I answered “Aaa, shut up. Or in Y/N, yes.” She teased while I rolled my eyes as I felt my cheeks getting redder. Time for lunch came fast, thankfully, and Changbin sat with us, but it was mostly Changbin and Jisung making plans to meet up and practice and Yeojin explaining god knows what to me.

I was trying to pay attention but I kept looking at both Jisung and Changbin. Their laughs and voices made it really hard to concentrate on Yeojin’s boring explanation. Their voices made me keep stealing glances from them, resulting in me practically staring at them.

“Y/N, I know I’m pretty but no need to stare.” Jisung laughed, flipping his hair as Changbin smiled at his friend’s antics. “I believe it must have been hard to put up with him.” Changbin teased as Jisung looked fake offended, putting his hand on his chest and gasping. “How dare.” Jisung yelled as both of them bursted into laughter, along with me and Yeojin, who looked at me, smirking while the two were too busy laughing their asses off.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. Me, Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin walked home together. Jeongin was going to my house while Jisung to Changbins. “I mean, wouldn’t it be best for us to all go to Y/Ns? Their kitchen always had so much snacks, I feel myself turning into ball.” Jisung teased.

“No! We’re having a movie day!” Jeongin said “Now we gotta! Movie day is has the best day for snacks!” Jisung said “Can we? Can we? Can we?” Jisung kept asking me like a little child as I sighed and finally let in. “Fine.” I sighed as Jisung cheered. We made our way into my house, where we first went to my room, Jisung and Jeongin set the room up as me and Changbin went to get the snacks.

“How long have you known Jisung?” I asked “About a year. Why?” Changbin asked as I handed him the snacks “Is he always such a-“ “Pain in the ass? Yes.” Changbin answered, laughing. “I was gonna say annoying puppy but yours works too” I answred, laughing back. “Also, you said you were in a rap group? Are you any good?” I asked, teasing as Changbin chuckled “Of course I am, how dare you doubt me.” He answered “And why do you keep ask me things?” He added “I’m a curious child.” I defended.

“I can rap for you some time if you want.” He said as I felt my face getter warmer and redder. “How about now?” I teased “I’m not ready.” He fake gasped “But for a pretty face, I shall try.” He added as I awwed. “I shall do it...for me.” He said dramatically as I facepalmed and lightly hit his arm. “Ow!” He dramatically whined “Anyway...you’re rapping?” I asked as he cleared his throat.

He took out his phone and played an unfamiliar melody and started rapping. His voice was intriguing and it made me feel hypnotized. I felt like I was under a trance. His tempo and speed was amazing. I kept asking myself why he hasn’t become famous. His talent and skills were very admirable.

“What did you think?” He asked, shutting his phone off and putting it into his back pocket. “That was amazing....how are you not famous?” I asked as he giggled, blushing “I’m not THAT good.” He said “Lies...also was that your work? Like did you produce that?” I asked “and wrote the lyrics.” Changbin answered as my eyes widened “Damn.” I said and quickly put my hand onto my mouth, as I didn’t mean to say it.

I probably looked like a tomato by now, so I tried to hide my face but he quickly said “Don’t be embarrassed, it’s cute.” As I quickly took the snacks and headed to my room, Changbin closely behind me. “What took so long? We had to start watching without you two!” Jisung said as Jeongin chuckled. “I had to prove my place as best rapper in 3RACHA.” Changbin answered “LIES!” Jisung yelled, making all of us laugh. We kept watching the movie, but I was more interested in the three guys in my room.

I had realized I had a crush on each and every one of them and I didn’t know how I was going to keep this not only a secret but how I was going to survive liking 3 guys at the same time. My thoughts were cut off by the guys starting to clean up, which made me realize I missed the whole movie. Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin all went home as I stared at the ceiling after I said goodbye to all 3 of them. I thought about writing a letter to Changbin aswell, but then I thought about what if someone finds this box, and realized I wrote 3 letters to 3 boys.

Was it a smart idea? No.

Did I do it anyway? Hell yeah.

Dear Changbin

....

A/N: is this proof read? No. Is it good? No. Am I gonna post it anyway? Hell yeah.

[bakashidan]

TaS - The Sims 4 Farr Dynasty (1#1)

I’ve played TS4 for so long and have done lots of challenge (though without ever sharing about my experiences), but I have never had done the legacy challenge. Seeing that I currently have nothing to do in my game aside from the 30-days Build It challenge, obviously I decided to have a little fun with one of the biggest, oldest challenge around  🙌

Instead of creating a new sim from scratch, I picked out a randomly generated townie. This allowed me to have a completely random sim whose traits and aspiration are alien to me - since I have a tendency to make my sims look and have certain traits - while also introducing me to the freak show that is Maxis’s choice of... well, je ne sais quoi.

The game did a good job on utilizing all my cc, that’s for sure.

So here is the founder of the soon-to-be Farr Dynasty: Robin Farr.

Driven out of home by her parents, Robin Farr promises to create a far (pun not intended) greater legacy to prove her worth. She moves out to a small island near Windenburg, settling down on an empty land, with what little changes she’s saved up from her job as a leaf cutter. That’s right, folks. Our miss Farr is a gardener. Now that’s something I’ve never truly played with, despite having the seasons expansion. 

Following the basic rules of the challenge, the succession laws I follow are gender equality, traditional, merit, and brood. I considered the exemplar law, but then again it would be far more interesting to see which child tries to lick ass the most :D plus I rarely interact with children in my game plays, so the hates children trait really sits well with me. What doesn’t sit well instead is the scoring sheet, since I will most likely forget to tally all my dos and don’ts to even know my score at all due to college works. I also set down the quality to laptop mode due to having to work on another 3D rendering program, so my graphic in game looks quite crap.

Traits: Romantic, Geek, and Hates children. Hmmm.

After setting my money to §1800, I had to send her off to work because the damn phone is starting to explode with the boss’s calls. She brought home §175, a meager sum which I doubt would even be useful at all to help me build a house - SOOO I set her out to visit the neighbors, the Bro household and the Bjergsens. Robin had free meals over at the Bros’ and introduced herself to Bjorg Bjergsen and his smallest daughter, whom she had the misfortune of having to entertain. That little interaction gave her a 6 hours tense moodlet, lol.

That being said, right after the little imp scampered away to play in a leaf pile, Bjorg made a move on Robin and DUH, of course she retaliated back. They were watching a romantic movie together, sitting by each other’s side with flirtatious jokes flung around, generally having a really suggestive time a homeless person and a rich father of two shouldn’t be having. Then Clara Bjergsen came in, and Bjorg got embarrassed just in time before his wife caught on them. Robin left the house with a plate of warm turkey dinner and a dirty little secret I might had planned to cultivate.

She left the house to go back and sleep at the Bros’, I might add. That earned her a negative relationship with Joaquin, but also a significant boost to her romantic relationship with Sergio for no other reason than all the flirting the two kept doing because they were under the influence of the steamy ginseng juice Joaquin brewed. So much for trying to get her out of the house, Le Chien.

The romance went steady even with all the sneaking around Bjorg led Robin to do - he asked her to dinner right after he fought with Clara, took her to the humor and hijinks festival, and had a date to the park - and at the end of the day, Sergio’s romance meter was higher than Bjorg’s. Fuck it, I thought. Persuading good ole Bjorg to get a divorce is way harder than marrying Sergio. On their third dinner date Robin asked Sergio out, and he immediately followed up with a proposal. It might be because they were celebrating his birthday or whatever, dunno, but she said yes - and they eloped on impulse Θ_Θ)> The news didn’t sit well with Bjorg, who asked Robin out to another outing right after her sudden wedding.

He hated it. The old man argued with Robin and threw her drinks until suddenly, Clara Bjergsen came inside the bar, looking shocked to see her husband so violent. It prompted him to stop fighting with Robin, but the deed is done and the love is gone. Whatever fling they had had gone down the drain, even as Robin tried to smoothly recover and apologize (jackass had the nerves to shove her in response!). So I moved her out of the bar, heading to the art gallery, a place where she usually unwinds... with Jade Dragon. Seriously though, this game needs a heavy PG rating - and not just because there are super R-rated mods in the community :>

After three plates of chicken nuggets and unwinding with the bubble blower, I couldn’t force the poor girl to walk home when she’s already jackshit hammered. 

So she slept in the art gallery and was late to her work - oh, joy! - and I automatically switched to Sergio. He was chatting up Joaquin in front of a Japanese restaurant I put in Newcrest and Joaquin didn’t exactly look thrilled about it; so maybe he was asking Joaquin to be a godfather or something? Is this a sign from SimGod that some ~spicy~ woohoo is on the way that night?

Anyhow, because the lad had a day off, I fulfilled all the requirements for his promotion and bought some basic furniture to fill a 6x8 room. I crammed a (used) double futon, a baby basket, a toddler bed, a high chair, a fridge, a toilet, a bath tub, and a workstation as efficient as I could and bought some more decoration mod that resembled hastily given wedding gifts (clothes rack, shoe rack, and an ‘adults only’ neon sign that I put up for no other reason than looking cool during nighttime). Must’ve been heaven for Sergio, seeing as he was a materialistic sim. Building the whole room costed me an arm and a leg, and when Robin came back home the two of them had a quick, free meal to save on their food expenses.

Later that night, Joaquin invited Robin to dinner and Sergio tagged along. True to their action earlier, the bros started talking again about SimGod-knows-what and the conversation took a pretty strange turns when bubbles of sun, diaper, baseball gloves, and an anti-Sergio one poured out of Joaquin’s mouth lol. Is he rejecting Sergio’s offer? Is he dissing his bro? Is he really not bad-mouthing Robin, the one whom he had bad relations with?

Sims are... fickle????????

“Yo, what the fuck, bro.” -Sergio 2k19

On the side notes, while these three were having a serious conversation, the Landgraab couples came and copulated in front of the entry way. I never would’ve seen it coming, not even when the blue notification box popped up and notified the whole world about their intimate times. I luuurve WickedWhims, but sometimes it’s just too much hassle - both the setting and the random sex pair ups. Teen Alexander Goth came by and excitedly took a picture of the event (shame that NPCs can’t exactly take a picture, though).

Even more later on that night, after they went back to Joaquin’s place from dinner, a certain someone couldn’t keep their hands inside their pockets and flirted a lot. And by a lot, I mean a whole damn lot. Sergio finally won over Robin’s reluctance and they tried for baby inside his old closet while Joaquin took over Sergio’s old bed and slept on it. It took a single try for Robin to carry a kid from the suave tech guru, whereas with Bjorg none of the hot dilly dally even produced in anything but the cum slut spermatozoa fluid hussy moodlet. Good thing she broke up with Bjorg, right?

No.

God, I don’t even want to relish the next part ever again. Possibly one the worst drama I’ve witnessed in sim history, even with the knowledge that all kinds of activity that happens is probably mutually agreed upon. But hey, the worst is yet to come... I think. And the next part of our first generation is going to be a grim and heavy, but I won’t forget to add all the cute parts that popped up here and there. Rewriting my experience so far has made me realize just how dramatic a sims gameplay can be 🤔🤣

Special thanks to all the amazing creators whose mods I use during my gameplay, and to ChilliP0uch for talking me into joining this challenge ♥

[distant-rose]

Seal of Fate Ch. 4 (5/8)

Notes: There’s a lot of emotions in this chapter, which makes absolutely no sense because I’m the most emotionally stunted person I know. Though I’m very curious to hear some of the reactions in regard to the last scene because it’s kinda me partially revealing my hand here. Anyway, a special thank you to @shireness-says and @katie-dub for motivating me and helping me through some of my writer’s block. Thanks also to @aerica13 who is my fantastic beta and is the best person to edit with. Thanks also goes to @cssns and @drowned-dreamer for making my CSSNS experience as excellent as it has been. Summary: Emma Swan is looking for only one thing - answers. Abandoned outside a police station in Menemsha, Martha’s Vineyard, Emma has dedicated her life to finding out where she comes from and why she was given away. She finds an unlikely partner in Killian, a selkie she inadvertently summons in a fit of frustration over her cold case. Word Count: 4,200+ AO3: [LINK] Chapters: Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Epilogue Rating: T+

Night fell and Emma watched it from her window sill, afraid to leave the confines of her bedroom. She didn’t want to leave and discover the magnitude of the damage caused by their fight. She wasn’t prepared to deal with an empty house.

Her stomach wasn’t on board with this however. It made a loud displeased growl, prompting her to finally creep out of her room and pad softly down the stairs. In a brief moment of courage, she glanced in the direction of Killian’s bedroom but the door was closed and she was unwilling to disturb it.

When she entered the small kitchen, she noted the large grocery bag on the counter and a wave of guilt rushed over her. Even though she had left him alone all day with no explanation, he had brought it upon himself to buy groceries without her asking. He had even bought her cinnamon sugar Poptarts, despite denouncing them as “sugar-coated garbage.”

She placed the box down on the counter, head buried in her hands. Once again, the gravity of their fight was weighing on her. She had driven away the one person who had, for a brief moment, given a damn about her. The weight of the loss alongside the hopelessness of her investigation felt like an anchor around her neck and she was slowly drowning.

It was almost mindless, the way she toed on her sandals and headed out the front door. The only thing that had been more constant than Killian in this place had been the ocean and she needed that right now.

The night air was cooler than she had expected, piercing even the warmth of her hoodie. Despite the chill, Emma continued her trek to the beach and sat down in her usual spot along the shoreline. She watched the waves softly roll in while playing with the sand, grabbing piles and allowing them to slip through her fingers.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you were a child of the sea...” Emma jumped, unable to believe her ears. She turned around instantly to make sure they hadn’t misled her. Killian. “You’re still here,” she whispered in disbelief. “Of course I am, love. Where was I going to go?” It’s then that she remembered that he was bound to her. She had been so upset about their fight that she had completely forgotten that Killian was stuck here until she became happy, something that felt nigh impossible at this point. “Right, sorry.” “It’s fine,” he shrugged before sitting next to her. “Today was...something.” “That’s a word for it.” “Well, I knew it was a matter of time before I would find you here. Even when we’re focused on looking for your parents, you always have one eye looking out towards the water.” “People feel drawn to it. It’s kind of a normal thing.” “Not like you,” he asserted. “Just who exactly are you Emma Swan?”

“An unwanted souvenir it seems.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

“Well, it’s the most likely option at this point,” she murmured, resting her head on her knees. “I’ve never encountered a trail this cold...There’s nothing...I...I went to Oak Bluffs today, you know, to see the hospital records and see if I matched any of them. I was so close, Killian, so close. There were two that could have been me and I wanted so badly to be either of them, but both of them are islanders. There’s nothing! It’s like I just showed up out of thin air and no one wanted to know why!”

“I want to know why,” he replied softly.

“You don’t want to, you have to,” she corrected. “Your only hope to go home is me and that’s not much hope at all...I’m sorry…”

Killian shifted uncomfortably at her words, scratching at the skin behind his ear. He let out a deep breath before turning his entire body to face her.

“That’s not entirely true, love.”

“What do you mean?”

He bit his lip, his eyes moving away from her face and darting past her to look at the ocean. He worked his jaw for a moment.

“I may or may not have misled you a bit…in regard to my ability to go back.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not stuck here. I’m here because I want to be.”

“I’m sorry, what?” She couldn’t comprehend what exactly he was telling her.

“Selkies can go back to the sea whenever they want to. As long as they have their pelt, they can come and go as they please between land and sea…”

“What the fuck does my happiness have to do with anything then?!” It was only the knowledge that it was the middle of the night and her neighbors were probably sleeping that kept her from screaming at him like she wanted to.

“Well, selkies...we as a species… we like causing joy and happiness...we are used to being worshiped and adored by humans...you, you were so unhappy, you were unlike any human I have ever known, I just wanted to know you. I wanted to make you smile…”

“So I’m just some curiosity project for you?” She hissed, eyes flashing.

“I won’t lie that my curiosity is what brought me to your doorstep but not what kept me here.”

“Then what did?”

It’s then that he finally pulled his gaze from the ocean and looked her straight in the eye. “You.”

“Me?”

“Aye, you. You’re a force of nature, Emma. You’re more than just an unwanted souvenir. You’re wonderful and powerful, nigh unstoppable, which is why I’m asking you not to give up hope. If anyone is going to uncover the truth...It’s you.”

“I...thank you.”

“No need to thank me, it’s just the truth, love.”

“Still…” She trailed, unable to find the words she was looking for. She felt raw in the wake of his confession and more vulnerable than she had a long time. She looked back at the water, closing her eyes and allowing herself to be calmed by the sound of the surf.

They sat in silence, not looking at each other. Killian started toying with the small shells left behind by the high tide while Emma traced indiscernible designs in the wet sand by her feet. The lull in conversation laid uncomfortably on her shoulders and she felt the need to shrug it off.

“His name was Neal.”

He looked up, meeting her eyes with a frown. “Pardon?”

“You asked me more than a few times who broke my heart. His name was Neal.”

Killian didn’t say anything, merely watched her with a look caught between curious and concerned. When she realized he was waiting for her continue instead of responding, she continued.

“You see...I was adopted at first. They didn’t think they could have children so they took me in, and then when the miracle baby came along, I was unwanted and went into foster care when I was three. Eleven foster homes but no forever home.”

“That must have been difficult,” he murmured.

He placed a hand on her back, thumb rubbing a back and forth motion against her shirt. It was soothing but she couldn’t find it in herself to fully relax.

“It was sometimes. There were as many good foster homes as there were bad ones. I can’t say it was all terrible but the bad ones certainly left their scars,” she murmured, bringing her hand up to her collarbone and smoothing her fingers along the ridge as she remembered the foster father who used to use her as a personal ashtray. The burn mark from one of his cigarette butts was still there. “But the last one was the worst and that’s when I had enough and ran away.”

“How old were you?”

“I was seventeen. Old enough to figure things out things on my own but young enough that I shouldn’t have had to,” she replied. “Five months after I ran off, I met him. You see, no one wants to employ a homeless teenager with no high school diploma. I was stealing things to survive.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the quelling emotional storm inside her. She hadn’t talk about Neal since she left prison. It felt like she was picking at an old scar that had healed wrong the first time. Killian said nothing, just continued to rub her back. She scooted a little bit closer to him. Like it or not, she needed his support for this.

“You know my Bug?”

“The yellow monstrosity you drive?”

“Don’t diss my car,” she admonished, lightly smacking him. “I met Neal when I stole that car. He had stolen it first, you see, and was sleeping in the backseat. He could have turned me in but instead he saved my ass...and we became partners...for the first time I felt like I was a part of something.”

“What happened?”

“Phoenix happened,” she spat. “That fucking asshole got me arrested.”

“He did what?”

“There were these watches he stole...we were going to fleece them and settle down together in Tallahassee…” She could feel the tears coming. “He sent me to what I thought was a pickup...but was actually a trap. There was an officer there waiting for me. Neal tipped him off.”

Killian swore softly under his breath. Emma nodded numbly in agreement, averting her eyes from his face. She didn’t want to see the look of pity on his face when she finished the story.

“I...I was pregnant.”

He stiffened, the hand on her back stilling.

“Did he know?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t even know, not until I went to prison. I never saw him again. I looked but he’s the one person I never found - well, aside from my parents.”

“That’s bad form...no, that’s the worst form I’ve ever heard...that’s…”

“Yeah,” she chuckled ruefully. “I don’t know what I would have done if I saw him again.”

“Tying him up and leaving him for the sharks would have been most appropriate,” he replied darkly. He softened his tone when he asked his next question. “What happened to the babe?”

The tears that had been welling up before this point finally fell, spilling quietly down her cheeks. Hesitantly, Killian’s hand moved from her back to her shoulder and he tugged at her slightly in order to bring her closer to him. She went willingly, burrowing her face into his chest as his arms wrapped around her tightly. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been held like that.

“I put him up for adoption. I was seventeen, had no family, no high school education and a criminal record to boot. There was no way I could have kept him…”

“But you wanted to.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.” Her voice cracked and she hated herself for it.

Killian said nothing for awhile, just continued to hold her and rub her back. She kept her head in the crook of his shoulder, trying very hard not to cry more than she already had.  It was a moment before he spoke again.

“I want you to know that you’re possibly the strongest person I’ve ever met, human or otherwise.”

She snorted in response. “I highly doubt that. I’ve turned you into living Kleenex.”

“Crying is not weak, Emma,” he admonished quietly. “You’ve been through more than I could even imagine and you’re here, you’re still alive and you’re fighting for answers. Surviving is the strongest thing anyone can ever do.”

Emma didn’t know what to say in response to that, especially because she didn’t necessarily agree with him. So she remained silent, enjoying the comfort while it lasted. A cold gust made its way across the beach and despite Killian’s warmth, she still shivered. It was mid-October and the temperature was dropping more rapidly by the day.

“How about we take this indoors?” He suggested quietly. “And you make us some of the hot chocolate you’re so fond of?”

“That sounds good,” she chuckled dryly, wiping at her eyes. With all the emotions of the day, she was certain that she looked like a drowned raccoon at this point. Killian, almost reluctantly, separated himself from her and rose to his feet. Emma followed, feeling even colder than she had before. As if sensing her discomfort, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tugging her to his side.

“What’s with all the cuddling?” Despite her question, she didn’t pull away.

“Just being a gentleman and keeping the lady warm.”

She snorted. “I think the last thing anyone would call me is a lady.”

“I’m going to have to disagree with you on that, Swan.”

“Whatever.”

They quietly walked back into the house, making a beeline for the kitchen. Emma went searching for the saucepan while Killian unpacked the rest of the groceries that she had left abandoned on the counter. She grabbed the milk from the refrigerator and began heating it up on the stove. He watched her with mild curiosity, a frown playing at his lips.

“I thought you used that powder to make hot chocolate?”

“You can but it’s been a shit day and this calls for the real thing,” she replied.

“The real thing?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled lightly before biting her lip. “My favorite foster mom...Ingrid...she taught me this recipe. I save it for special occasions…”

“Why was she your favorite?”

“Because she cared,” Emma replied quietly. “She was the only one who seemed to and for a little while, it felt like I had a mother...I thought she was going to adopt me but then she got sick…”

“I can’t seem to stop picking at your worst memories it seems.”

She shook her head. “No, not all bad. Ingrid wasn’t bad.”

The conversation lulled again as she stirred in the chocolate. She focused her attention on making sure the milk didn’t burn while Killian shuffled in the background. When she was finished, she found him sitting at the table, looking back over the case files that were still strewn across it.

“So, the hospital was a dead end?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t on file. Total waste of a day.”

“Not entirely,” he replied, looking up at her. “I think I might have something actually.”

Emma froze. “What?”

“I said I think have something.”

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

“Because it wasn’t appropriate. I was going to tell you when you got home but some issues got the best of us and it was pushed aside. You being upset became my primary concern.”

“What exactly is this lead of yours?” Emma asked.

“Well, as you’re aware, I didn’t necessarily sit on my rear all day.”

“Yeah, thanks for getting the Poptarts.”

“We’ll talk about your atrocious eating habits later but I decided to do some digging around town - you know, talk to some of the locals about what they knew about you.”

“Did you refer to me specifically or the case?” Emma asked, feeling her hackles rise.

He gave her a long look. “I’m trying very hard not to be insulted. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, love, but I’m a bit perceptive and I’ve noticed the amount of hoops you’ve gone through to keep the fact this case is about you secret. Of course I didn’t tell anyone that you’re the baby in question.”

She relaxed slightly at his words, raising her mug to her lips and sipping. Killian took it as a cue to continue.

“Anyway, I made it round to Granny’s and chatted with Leroy and those blokes. Miserable bastards, the lot of them really but they had a vague recollection of you being found. They didn’t know much but they’re not the lead.”

“Then what’s the lead? You’ve been building this up enough, haven’t you? Just spit out already!”

“The Lady Lucas knows something.”

“Ruby?” Emma was confused.

“No. Her grandmother. She acted strangely when I mentioned the case.”

She let out a disappointed huff, placing her mug down on the table and groaning. She rubbed at her temples.

“A weird reaction? That’s all you got for me?”

“It’s more than we’ve gotten so far. She knows something, Emma. I’m certain of it.”

“Killian, we need more than just a reaction to some questions...I…” she sucked in a breath. “I don’t know if I can handle another dead end…”

He stood abruptly, causing Emma to jump. He took steady footsteps towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders. The intense look on his face made her uncomfortable so she averted her eyes, looking down at her feet.

“Emma, look at me.”

Reluctantly, she met his gaze.

“We are going to solve this. We are. There is no question in my mind that we are going to find out where you come from. Do you hear me?”

She nodded wordlessly.

“I need you to trust me on this. Please.”

“You’re really that certain that she knows something?”

“I’m willing to bet my life on it.”

Emma searched his face, noting how serious his expression was. She had no doubt in her mind that he meant it. She worried at her bottom lip.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“We’ll stop by the diner tomorrow and talk to her while we get coffee. I don’t think it’s going to lead to anything but I’m willing to humor you just this once because we got nothing.”

He frowned at her. “Shouldn’t we go now?”

“Killian, it’s the middle of the night. The diner is closed and, honestly? I’m exhausted. We’ll pick this up tomorrow morning.”

Killian looked like he wanted to argue but merely sighed in response. He picked up his untouched hot chocolate and gave her a rueful smile.

“To a better tomorrow, love?”

She chuckled, raising her own mug and tapping it against his. “Yeah. I can drink to that.”

She hadn’t been lying when she said she was exhausted but she realized just how completely drained she was as she made her way up the stairs. Her legs felt like lead and the weight of the emotional upheaval of the day felt heavy on her shoulders.

Despite her fatigue, she slept fitfully; unable to calm her chaotic thoughts. She gave up trying around four in the morning, rising from her bed and heading downstairs. Emma enjoyed staying in Ruby’s beach house but she wasn’t without complaints, particularly in the regard to the fact there was only one television. It had thrown her off at first, especially because she was in the habit of leaving it on while she slept.

She watched infomercials for a good two hours before she got restless. She gave the antique clock on the wall a quick glance. 6:50. If she walked over to Granny’s, it would be open by the time she got there. She got off the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs, listening intently. Though Killian’s door was closed, she could still hear the muffled sound of him snoring.

She made a decision.

Digging out a notepad with the Black Dog logo on it, she scribbled a hurried note to let him know that she had gotten up early and was going to get coffee. She didn’t want a repeat episode of yesterday.

As she walked into town, a small wave of guilt washed over her. Killian, like it or not, was her partner on the case and he would most certainly not be happy that she had left him behind yet again. It was better this way however. Though she had agreed to humor him and most certainly would ask Granny about the case, she wasn’t so confident that anything would come of it. She didn’t want to deal with his disappointment on top of her own when it happened.

Ruby was just opening up the diner when she arrived. Though she was dressed in her waitress apron, Ruby didn’t look ready for anyone; eyes squinting in the morning light and a vague, zombie-like expression on her face. She became more animated when she noticed Emma.

“Hey! Where’s tall, dark and handsome?”

“Still sleeping,” Emma chuckled. “But probably won’t be for long. He’s got a nose for coffee.”

“Just coffee today?”

“Yes, unless you’ve got those amazing jelly doughnuts ready?”

“I wouldn’t call them amazing but yeah. We have some.”

“I’ll take six,” she paused, biting her lip. “Is your grandmother around?”

Ruby snorted. “When she is not? She takes micromanaging to a whole new level.”

“Can I talk to her? I think she might be able to help with our case…”

“Oh,” she blinked, slightly confused. “Yeah, sure, come on in, she’s in the kitchen.”

Emma followed Ruby into the diner, slightly startled by the classic rock that was blaring from the jukebox. It seemed a little too early in the day to be listening to the Rolling Stones. Granny was putting the doughnuts in the front display underneath the breakfast bar. She straightened up, brushing her hands against her knees and tentatively smiling as she caught sight of them.

“I’m assuming that you want the usual?”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you about my case.”

The smile was immediately wiped from her face. She glanced in Ruby’s direction for a brief moment before looking back at Emma. She let out a loud sigh, pursing her lips.

“Ruby, I need you to close the door and call Leroy. Tell him I’m sick and need him to man the kitchens. This is going to take a while,” she said before looking at Emma. “You’re going to want to follow me upstairs.”

“What?” This wasn’t what Emma had been expecting at all when she decided to humor Killian’s suggestion.

“What I have to say is best said in private,” she replied gruffly. “Come on.”

She then turned on her heel and headed down a narrow hallway that led to a flight of stairs. She turned and lifted her eyebrows expectantly at Emma before motioning for her to come. Completely confused by the turn of events, she tentatively walked towards her. They went up the stairs into a small apartment setup. It was tidy but cluttered, walls covered in photos and tables covered in various knickknacks.

Granny didn’t say anything to Emma nor she did offer her a seat. Instead, she went straight into the kitchen and picked up a bottle of whiskey off the counter. She then pulled two glasses from the cabinets, pouring two fingers worth.

“Isn’t a little early in the day for that?” Emma asked in alarm.

“If there’s any conversation that needs alcohol, it’s this one,” Granny replied, slamming back one of the glasses like a pro. She filled it almost immediately. “I always knew this day would come. I expected you to come sooner, you know...But the moment I saw you, I knew who you were. I hoped against hope that you weren’t but there’s no denying it...you look just like your mother...though you’re a blondie just like David.”

The colour drained from Emma’s face. She stood still for a moment, not even daring to breathe. She was afraid that if she moved, whatever was happening at this moment would cease to exist.

“You know who my parents are…”

The gruff expression on Granny’s face faltered and was replaced with one that ached of loss. She looked down at the glasses she had filled and Emma thought for a brief moment that she was going to throw back another one.

“I do. I knew them personally,” she admitted. “And they didn’t deserve what happened to them. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and it’s something I live with every day. But before we have this conversation, there’s something that I need to return to you.”

She handed Emma one of the whiskey glasses and placed the other on the coffee table before disappearing into a room that Emma could only assume was a bedroom. She was gone for less than a minute before she returned, this time with something in her hands.

At first, she thought it was a fur shawl, pure white and dainty looking. Granny placed it wordlessly in her lap before sitting across from her. Emma ran her fingers through it. It feel softer than anything she had ever felt and, surprisingly, familiar. She had felt this texture before.

And that’s when she knew exactly what it was.

The realisation hit her like a MAC truck and she nearly dropped it.  She made a frantic grab and caught it before it hit the floor, cradling it to her chest with shaky fingers. When she met Granny’s eyes, the older woman was looking at her with a remorseful expression.

“Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“I think you and I both know what it is, Emma. It’s yours.”