#my sister also has told me on several occasions that she much preferred it when I had long hair (which was... about 4 years ago)

[ihavetoomuchhomeworkforthis]

ib disco, adira's boyfriend has such powerful femboy vibes that my sister keeps misgendering him as "she"

ok so this has been in my drafts for so long because I looked it up and accidentally found out that the actor is actually trans so I should really get my sister to stop doing tha- wait we already watched them all, it's too late, crap

We had all been correcting her every time, (she thought he was a girl the very first time his character was onscreen and didn't ever fully get that he wasn't) but she didn't really try very hard to get his pronouns right, or adira's, once they came out as non-binary, so nearly every time one or both of them was on screen, my brother and sister (who, annoyingly, like to talk about the show during it) would be trying to ask their questions or laugh about what was going on by retelling it, but just constantly tripped over all the pronouns in a mess of gender confusion

[lilover131]

Syaoran and Kaito Analysis

So I’ve mentioned recently in a recent fanart and in my analysis of chapter 55, but I have noticed quite a few similarities between Syaoran and Kaito, and upon some observations, I have some theories, particularly in regards to how Kaito views Syaoran. I decided to delve into that a bit, so see under the cut for more! Warning: It’s long. I wrote a lot. >.<

 I have a lot to cover, so I thought it might be best to outline in the most simple way possible some things we already know about Kaito.

 ·         He was born gifted with incredible magic. His parentage is unknown and he was “alone for as long as he could remember”.

·         It’s unclear where Kaito originated from, but it seems he spent a majority of his life in England.

·         He has moon based magic and has a wide variety of talents, but specializes in time magic. It’s unclear if he already had a skill with time magic or if this was obtained after he met Momo. It seems implied that he made a magical contract with her and maybe gained his time abilities from this. But we do know he has the ability to fly, to locate objects, teleport, to talk to animals, and to make something vanish in a mere moment.  

·         He is also talented in housekeeping skills, such as sewing, cooking, etc.

·         He used to be very cold hearted and preferred spending time alone. Kaito changed considerably in personality at some point in his life. It is uncertain exactly what caused this change, but it seems likely that Akiho’s mother was the catalyst for this.

·         He is part of a very powerful group of magicians called as we know it ‘The Association’ and is revered as one of its most powerful with the title ‘D’. He recently betrayed them and left, taking Akiho with him.

·         He protects and seems to care for Akiho

·         He is preparing for an event labeled as “that time” and needs Sakura to create a specific card.

·         He is putting himself in extreme physical danger for his goals, seemingly for Akiho’s sake.

·         He has been noted as always smiling to ‘hide his pain’.

 So when I look at all of these facts about Kaito, I noticed something interesting. Syaoran too could be described by almost all of these things. You might think “Wait a minute Chrissy! Kaito and Syaoran are nothing alike!”, but please hear me out.

Syaoran too was born gifted with incredible magic. He also draws his power from the moon (a connection that has already been pointed out by CLAMP) and has a knack for household skills as well, being very independent from a young age. Like Kaito, he was cold hearted in his earlier years, preferred to be alone (according to Meiling in the original 90’s anime in episode 43), and had a drastic change in personality later on, particularly after meeting Sakura. Syaoran is part of a very powerful group of magicians as well, the Li clan, and is one of the strongest within it and destined to be the next leader. Similarly, Syaoran too is preparing for some kind of event, a future seen by his mother, and is doing everything to prevent this, even if it causes him physical harm (as we’ve seen with him struggling to conjure the Sakura cards). In order to keep Sakura in the dark as to not worry her, he has been using a smile to ‘hide his pain’.

Now you may be wondering “Okay, so they have a few things in common, but they are still completely different!”. And you would be right. They are two completely different people after all, but try to think of them as two sides of the same coin. This beckons another question: How did two people who are so similar turn out so differently?

This is really where their differences in personality shine through, but part of it I believe is due to their backgrounds as well. For example, Kaito was picked up by the Association at a young age due to his skills with magic and was taken in to “use that magical power to accomplish their own tasks”. Based on their record of not having a great reputation, according to Eriol, and their treatment of Akiho by assisting her Clan in turning her into a magical device, it seems likely that Kaito was not treated kindly by anyone in the Association. In fact, he was probably left alone nearly all of the time unless his strengths were needed, and took care of himself in the remainder of that time. He was surrounded by people but still completely alone, and he preferred to be this way. This cold background of his really prevented him from being able to open up his heart to anyone. But he does seem to be much different around Akiho.

Syaoran, on the other hand, was surrounded by loving and caring family members. Although he preferred to be alone in his earlier years, he wasn’t actually alone at all. His mother was protective of him (like cutting his hair until he was strong enough to protect himself from things like scissors near his neck), and his sisters adored him and undoubtedly showered him with love at every opportunity. But even with that love from them, he was still somewhat cold hearted (though not as much as Kaito) until he met Sakura.

Their backgrounds do differ from each other, but I think the biggest difference in them of all is how they handle their feelings. When Syaoran first started to realize his feelings for Sakura, he struggled quite a bit and was in a great amount of denial, even physically running away at times when confronted with them. It was when he finally came to terms with his heart and confessed his feelings to Sakura that he underwent a great change and became the Syaoran we know today.

So what about Kaito?

Well, Kaito I believe is in that same stage of denial where he is refusing to come to terms with his feelings, whatever those may be. It’s clear that he cares about Akiho, but when she or Momo try to have a serious discussion with him or get him to talk about those feelings, he goes out of his way to change the subject (or once with Momo, actually fled at the first opportunity, which is just like Syaoran used to do!). It is something he is clearly uncomfortable with, and I think that is because it is unfamiliar territory for him. He is used to not feeling anything at all, so having to actually think about his feelings and reasons for doing things is unbearably frightening. He can handle any magical opponent any day (except Sakura of course), but being open and honest about his feelings? That’s another battle entirely that he doesn’t know how to handle without his magic to use as a crutch.

Momo mentioned in chapter 39 how Kaito had made a great deal of changes, all so that Akiho could live comfortably and pleaded internally “peer deep inside your heart. And don’t avert your eyes”. This was said again in chapter 51 when she stated “I implore you Yuna D. Kaito. Listen…to your heart”.

In the very next chapter, it is none other than Syaoran who has a discussion with Sakura about how his mother had told him “If you possess great magic power…when you feel pounding and stirring in your chest…you shouldn’t ignore it. You need to listen to your intuition. I think that goes for everyone, magic or no magic. I don’t think anyone should turn a blind eye to their own heart”. We also know that in that same conversation with his mother, thanks to the mini chapter provided with the special edition of volume 9, that Yelan said to him then “If there’s something you want to accomplish, then training with your spells is surely important, but...more than anything else, you have to face your heart”. She went on to tell him how important it was to listen to his heart and that “If you lie to yourself, you will sadden the person who loves you so dearly”. 

And that, my friends, is the major reason for Syaoran and Kaito being so different despite their many similarities. One listens to his heart while the other adamantly turns away from it. This leads me to my next topic (thank you for anyone who has read this long into it. I appreciate it!), and that is in regards to Kaito’s feelings about Syaoran.

I have noticed that Kaito in general tends to act quite differently in regards to Syaoran than he does anyone else. It starts at the very first time they met, when they made their introductions. Despite working so diligently to keep himself hidden from Akiho and Sakura, he did the complete opposite with Syaoran. He had to have known that being able to sense his magic and being given his name and title, that Syaoran would go and research who he was. He wanted Syaoran in particular to know who he was, which I believe is also why he allowed him to speak with Eriol initially. I say allowed, because we know he clearly had the potential to cut off communications at any point in time, and he only stepped in to shut this down when Eriol started talking to the others (Kero and Yue). He clearly wanted to control what information people knew about him, and Eriol crossed a line. He also put spells on Syaoran that would not allow him to communicate with others about him, so again showing he wanted him to know about him, but not to be able to tell anyone else about him, especially Sakura.

Another occasion I found intriguing was chapter 34 in the scene with the pool. Kaito stopped time, but for some reason, allowed Syaoran to move freely as well. Why is this? He could have easily frozen Syaoran too, but he made a conscious decision to allow Syaoran to move.

Then we come to perhaps the most telling scene so far, which is the battle he and Syaoran had in chapter 41 and 42. In a moment where he could have easily stopped time and rewound so that Syaoran never approached him, he instead decided to have a full discussion with him and even go as far as to engage in battle with him in stopped time. In this ‘discussion’, he stated several facts that he knew about Syaoran, who was pointedly not responding to them and seemed solely focused on Sakura. Some of the details about him were probably common knowledge to the magical world, but some of them seemed oddly personal, such as him being a ‘diligent student’, as if to show he had been watching him for quite some time.

Something about the interaction was different than others. It was as if he was observing Syaoran in that moment to see how he would react to hearing certain things. He then mentioned after seeing Syaoran use the Sakura cards how rewriting a contract once written takes a toll on even the strongest magician and he said “Is this all…for Sakura too?”. I think what he was trying to say here is that he recognizes the efforts he’s making for Sakura and may even feel a connection to him because of his own efforts for his own wish.

In chapter 42, continuing on with this conversation, Kaito seemed ready to turn back time the moment he realized they were no longer alone and that Sakura was able to move, but he still had more to say. Syaoran reacted to Sakura calling out for him, and it was at this moment that Kaito said “You certainly are honest, aren’t you? One look at your face, and I know exactly what you’re thinking” (even Eriol made several comments about Syaoran’s honesty in the original series). Once again, he’s showing here that he’s observing Syaoran, but why? For what reason does he bring this up? I think he says this because it is something so foreign to him and fascinates him. Kaito is so used to hiding his feelings and being unable to express them, but Syaoran is the complete opposite in the fact that he can so easily show his feelings and it is not his nature to conceal them. Kaito followed this by bringing up that Syaoran had suppressed that honesty when he came to Japan, which we know was through his fake smiles (something he is all too familiar with). Yue also said to Syaoran in chapter 27 that he had been hiding behind a smile and ordinarily was much more unrestrained in how he expressed his emotions, no matter what that emotion may be.

I wonder if Kaito said this because he wondered “how is it that he’s able to be so honest?” or maybe he was trying to show that he understood his reasons for hiding behind a smile, pointing out the similarities between them; that they were not so different despite having different goals. Kaito’s next comment in particular is probably what caught my attention the most. He divulged the detail about how Syaoran suppressed his honesty particularly to try and prevent the future that his mother saw. Even Syaoran seemed surprised by this, and he had good reason to be! This was likely a very personal moment, one he hasn’t even told Sakura about yet, and this implies that he might have been there when this particular moment happened. It makes sense too, considering Akiho had stated in her very first appearance that she was in Hong Kong just before coming to Japan, meaning she and Kaito were certainly there at the same time Syaoran was, at least for a brief time. This means he probably saw all the effort he was putting in for Sakura’s sake and maybe this resonated with him. I think maybe he also saw how his older sisters, even though they had no magic of their own, are treated with respect in the Li clan, unlike Akiho with her own. Kaito has only ever known a world where those who are strong are used and those who are weak are deemed worthless (like Akiho), but yet Syaoran lives in a world where both live harmoniously. Sakura’s world in Tomoeda is the same as well and filled with kindness, far different from any other experience Kaito has had, and this must have been quite the culture shock! But more importantly, Syaoran and Sakura have all the things that he and Akiho never had.

Another interesting thing to note here is that Kaito was supposedly expelled from the association about a year ago due to stealing a powerful magical instrument that was forbidden to be taken (which we now know to be Akiho herself). And guess what else happened about a year ago? About a year ago, Syaoran went back to Hong Kong to handle his ‘important things’. Coincidence? Well, famously CLAMP series often say there is no such thing as coincidence...only hitsuzen. 

Just as he is about to send another attack at Syaoran, he talks about how he and Syaoran both do not have the power of divination, but that “it is for the strong to decide…what the future holds in store for us all”. I think what he meant here is “Neither of us know how this is going to turn out, but the both of us are working hard for our own goals, so may the best man win”. However, before he could go any further, Sakura used TRANSFER to switch places, and he is both surprised by this, but quite quickly decides to end things and rewind time at this moment, indicating that he had not really wanted to engage with Sakura at all at this point in time. He had even stated at the beginning of chapter 42 that he had intended to keep her frozen and only have Syaoran able to move, meaning this whole situation had only been kept going for this long so that he could talk to Syaoran.

After rewinding time and talking to Akiho later that evening, he mentioned how Parent’s day was “quite illuminating”. This could have been said about his newfound knowledge of Fujitaka, but I also believe he learned quite a bit from Syaoran as well.

Now we finally get to the more recent chapters, like 54 and 55. While sitting together at the botanical garden, Kaito puts yet another spell on Syaoran to force him to smile against his will to avoid any suspicion. I feel like this was not just to keep the peace but also somewhat of a way to toy with and tease Syaoran. What better way to get under the skin of someone so honest and open with their feelings than to force them to hide these under a smile unwillingly? I think this was the mischievous side of Kaito showing and almost like a big brother teasing a little brother, but unfortunately for him, he pushed things too far with this, and not only did Sakura notice something was wrong, but this allowed the spell to be broken, and Syaoran wasted absolutely zero time saying the things he had been suppressed in saying before.

Cue to chapter 55, our most recent chapter. Sakura has managed to keep herself from being frozen in time, and she starts off with a few basic questions. The first one was if he knew about her being able to use cards. Kaito answered simply “Yes”. But when asked about if he knew about Syaoran, he gave two very specific details about him, particularly that he knew he was a gifted sorcerer and that he was the next head of the Li clan”. He could have just answered yes, the same way he responded in regards to Sakura, but instead he seems to have wanted Sakura to know in that moment that he knows a lot of information about Syaoran and not just that he can use magic. The two then exchange meaningful looks, and it’s right after this that she looks over to Syaoran and Akiho, looking almost worried. Now, it’s not clear what they were both thinking in this moment, and it’s possible that I am overthinking this one, but I find it fascinating that his answer was so detailed here, and I don’t feel like that was for nothing. Ohkawa has always been very thoughtful about the words she writes in her scripts, and I think this is no exception.

Anyways, I feel like we’ll get more definitive answers in the future, but I’m incredibly intrigued to see if there are any further and more concrete connections between them. I feel like CLAMP has done quite a bit to point out similarities between the two, and it should be a wild ride from here on out!!

[devaneiosinfinitos]

My thoughts on ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!

I was really looking forward to this book and Nesta and Cassian’s story and I really wanted to love it, but it fell really short. If I were to define ACOSF, I'd say: Wasted potential.

After finishing it and rereading some parts, my conclusion is: there are some pretty cool scenes, but that's not reflected in the rest of the book. I was disappointed and frustrated with several things. I was angry with others and found that many points in the plot were not really developed.

Here are some things that really bothered me (and this will be long):

ENDING RUSHED

I thought the ending was rushed. There were many things happening at the same time and none of them got a proper conclusion. For example, the Blood Rite and the birth. At one point we’re reading about the Blood Rite and how Nesta was fighting the other Illyrians so Emerie and Gwyn could win. Then, Queen Briallyn and Cass arrive, Nesta destroys her and gets the crown and then Azriel and Mor arrive and take them to Feyre. And that’s it. All that build-up for what? For a few paragraphs of Nesta meeting Gwyn and Emerie after the birth and briefly discussing it. And then of Nesta reminiscing of when she told Cass and Az the details of it and they pointed out what needed to be corrected. SERIOUSLY? The birth scene totally took the focus out of Nesta’s at Ramiel and the end of the Blood Rite and the AMAZING victory of Gwyn and Emerie and how well they did on the rite. There were chapters and chapters building up to the conclusion of the Blood Rite and what could come of it and then it was just over. So anticlimactic. Why spend so much time on it and then not even having one character acknowledging how incredible they were? That not only they survived it but Emerie and Gwyn won it and Nesta got so far and pulled an Enalius at the end? So few Illyrians have ever gotten that far and it has always felt like such a great accomplishment that Cass, Az and Rhys completed it, and then here we have women kicking the ass out of the challenge which has been unheard of and we don’t even get Cassian saying how proud he was? There was a lot missing at the end of that narrative. I wanted Cass, Az, and Rhys making a big deal out of their accomplishment. I wanted the Illyrians reactions about their victory and performance and what that could mean moving forward. I wanted more of how Emerie and Gwyn felt winning it and what it meant for them and Nesta to have accomplished that together. What a waste. 

Not to mention, how rushed the entire thing with Briallyn and the crown was. One moment Nesta is destroying her and there lies the crown. And then, there’s Nesta using all three artefacts to stop time and help Feyre. They didn’t even discuss the fact that Briallyn was gone and that now they had the 3 artefacts. I mean, some people in that room didn’t even get to see the crown (Did they even know they managed to get it in the Blood rite?), let alone discuss the significance of it. One of the main plots of the book was the search for the trove, and then when they have all 3 artefacts, that’s just completely brushed over. Again, SERIOUSLY? All these plots and none with a development/conclusion to match the build up.

NESTA’S POWERS

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Every time I remember that Nesta gave up her powers I get pissed all over again.

Nesta’s powers have been hyped up for a long time. A LONG TIME. Now, we finally have her book where we delve into her journey and where her powers are supposed to be fully explored and WE NEVER GET THAT. Thank you for nothing, Sarah. Her powers are not even fully explored and then she gives them up. We never really get to fully understand her powers and get to see her really using them. THERE WAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL. I wanted to see her wreak havoc and fully embrace her powers and become one of the most powerful and deadly characters in Prythian. I wanted to see more of her being in control of her abilities and being her badass self taking a hoard of bad guys out. I wanted to understand the extension of her powers. But nope, just as she’s starting to learn about them, she loses them. SO ANTI-CLIMATIC (it doesn’t matter that apparently there’s a bit left, that’s not the point). When she was engulfed in silver fire in her room and Rhys came running? That’s what I wanted to read about. Nesta never really used her silver flames and we never got to really understand what they meant. Ok, they were cold rather than hot. WHAT ELSE? Why is the book even called A Court of Silver Flames? Isn’t that supposed to indicate that said silver flames will be significant? The most significant thing about them other than the bedroom scene are the silver flames that appear in her eyes, and that was not even fully developed either. Is it only when she’s about to lose control? Or angry? Or emotional? When the silver flames appear in her eyes it’s always highlighted that “nothing Fae looks through them” (this was pointed out more than once) and Cass even says at one point that that’s the being the Bone Carver whispered about and exalted and feared. We had the Bone Carver, a creature of thousands of years, calling Nesta a queen and saying she was as "ancient as the sea" and we have Lucien saying that maybe some things should not be awoken and "mother spare you all" when he sees Nesta training and I feel like all that foreshadowing never really came to fruition. LOOK AT ALL THIS BUILD UP. 

Nesta’s been hyped up as this powerful Death Queen or as this being with great powers and the culmination of her journey in this book resulted in her giving it all up to save Feyre, Rhys and the baby. Rhys, that up until that point hadn’t really done anything that made him worthy of her calling him brother. Since Sarah came up with this death in childbirth plot (I could’ve gone without this one, seriously), yay for Nesta saving them because it’s not like I wanted them to die (I hope they learnt the lesson with that stupid bargain though). But this entire plot could’ve been addressed differently. AND BETTER. In the end, it undermined Nesta's powers narrative. Why build this plot up so much and include so many things that could be considered foreshadowing if you’re not going to fully develop it in the character’s main book?

IC’S BULLSHIT

Ever since ACOFAS, I was waiting for someone (preferably Nesta) to call the IC on their bullshit and their self-righteous hypocrisy. But it never happened. We had that God awful intervention scene and Mor saying bad things and Amren being gratuitously cruel and Rhys insulting Nesta and Feyre taking her freedom away and none of that is ever addressed again. Ok, I get they were trying to help her with their intervention, but they could have approached that very differently and much better. I felt really bad reading that, and they all got away easily with their behaviour towards her. Sometimes it felt like they were kicking a dog who was already down. Especially Amren. She called Nesta a waste of life and Nesta bloody knelt to apologise to her, holy shit, I can’t get over that. And Amren never apologised. I feel like there was a lot of apologising coming from Nesta, but not enough coming from others. The IC were disrespectful towards her many times (and not only in this book), and that’s it. All swept under the rug. 

Later on in the book, Rhys says that Nesta always has a choice at the Night Court. REALLY, RHYS? Are you not tired of contradicting yourself? Because it sure as hell didn’t feel like she did. They even try to use Elain as a way to manipulate Nesta to do what they want. Not to mention that it feels as they are really pressuring Nesta to get better soon and fast (with the exception of Cass, who says she can take however long she wants), but the IC should look at themselves. Mor and Az are still dealing with their traumas after hundreds of years. Cass himself says that it took him years to get over what happened to his mom and what he did (and he still deals with the fact that he often feels inferior for being a bastard). And they want Nesta to be a happy healthy version of herself so soon? Please. I think a scene where their behaviour is addressed would’ve felt earned. I’m pissed that we didn’t get that. And that Nesta didn’t get that. And that because the IC are never called out on their often toxic behaviour (it happens towards Lucien as well), they don’t learn. 

Also, Rhys and the rest of the IC hiding from Feyre what it meant that the baby had wings was a really infuriating move. So so wrong. That type of thing should not be hidden from the person carrying the baby. It’s her life and her body. To be honest, I didn’t like how the pregnancy plot was written at all. I was already expecting that Feyre would get pregnant, but I hoped it would be later in the series for a myriad of reasons. The way it was done here didn’t really work for me, and I think many things didn’t make any sense such as how the birth would (or wouldn’t) work. I mean, Cassian had his guts hanging out of his stomach and lived, but a C-section is not possible? Come on.

RELATIONSHIPS

I think that by the end of the book there were some key things missing in some of the relationships. For example, the relationship between the sisters. It all appears well in the last scene, but I missed a scene where all three of them ACTUALLY talked and discussed things - their relationship and their parents and their past. You know, a decent conversation where they could explain things and ask for forgiveness or also say thank you where it was due.

I also would’ve really liked if Cassian had said “I love you” to Nesta. I don’t doubt his love for her and I know he has loved her for a long time and he has shown that love with attitudes on several occasions, but I think with Nesta, who had never really said “I love you” to anyone (she said it to Feyre for the 1st time in the birth scene), it would’ve meant something to her to hear those words, especially after thinking so little of herself for so long and not feeling worthy of affection and thinking everyone hated her. I think it would’ve felt nice to close that part of her journey with him saying it as well. Also, I kind of missed soft/tender moments between Nessian thoroughout the book. Yeah, they have an angsty relationship and Nesta was in a healing journey and the smut was great, but I think there could’ve been more sweet moments in the middle, you know? Because they only truly recognise the bond at the end, so the fluffiness is mostly focused in the last pages, and I wanted a bit more of that here and there. Not a lot that would change the dynamics of the relationship, but just a bit more that would balance the smut and angst a bit and make me sigh. Sometimes I thought there were too much smut and angst and not enough relationship growth through conversation and softness.

HIGH KING 

I really dislike the High King idea and I have a feeling that’s exactly what Sarah might do. Not long ago, the IC was shitting on Vallahan for wanting to conquer other territories and then there’s Amren saying Rhys should become High King and rule over the entirety of Prythian. Where did that even come from? That entire conversation and everything Amren said was just mindboggling. Not to mention that according to what she said, Rhys would become High King using the weapons that Nesta created. Same weapons that Amren said nobody should use (but it’s ok if it’s Rhys, right? *Eye roll*) and that no one should tell Nesta she could create. Not to mention that the entire idea of all the courts submitting to one ruler/court (in this case, to Rhys) sounds very imperialistic. They should all be aiming to coexist peacefully and harmonically and find ways to work towards that, not using this High King idea as a solution.

Plus, Rhys cannot even unite all of his own court (There’s rebellion building with the Illyrians, there’s the Court of Nightmares and all the problems there…), and Amren wants him to rule over Prythian? Also, something about the Court of Nightmares that I often wonder about. Is Mor the only decent person to be born there? Because I have a hard time believing that there is not another single decent soul in that place. Maybe someone that dreams of going to Velaris and escaping the Court of Nightmares but that just finds themselves trapped there because it’s not like Rhys and the IC give anybody a chance to get away. Do they even look for people that might be suffering there without deserving to? I mean, Mor came from there. Don’t they think there might be others? Even with the agreement they have with Keir in ACOWAR, it’s not like they are open to the idea. And it’s completely fine to want to protect Velaris from the evil and cruelty that exists in the Court of Nightmares, but again, that shouldn’t mean they shouldn’t even contemplate the chance that there might be people there worth of being in Velaris. That doesn’t earn Rhys any points towards the High King thing.

Moreover, that stupid bargain Rhys and Feyre made also doesn’t get him any points. Since learning the baby had wings, Rhys knew the chances of Feyre dying were very high. If she died, he’d die as well. You’d think a responsible ruler would make plans in case that really happened. You know, like talking to the IC and making plans about their next moves and discussing how they should proceed and just analysing the options after his and Feyre’s powers go to who knows who (If it went to Keir… Shouldn’t they prepare for that?). I mean, imagine the chaos that would ensue should Rhys and Feyre die, and it’s never even addressed that Rhys is considering these things. He didn’t even tell Amren, his second in command. Honestly, what a mess. I’m glad Rhys was categorically against it and that it doesn’t seem like he wants that, but it sounds just like Sarah to come up with a plot that the High King title would just fall on Rhys’s lap or be the only way out of a situation and that by becoming High King he’d be saving Prythian of something worse. I’m rolling my eyes just thinking about it.

So… These are just some of the things that bothered me. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t nice things in the book. Like I said in the beginning, there are some cool scenes and specific things that I really liked (such as Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie’s friendship, for example. They are just wonderful. And Nesta and the House of Wind. And Nesta and Azriel (I wanted more of this relationship). And Cassian’s support. And the Valkyries inspiration), but the book in itself? More potential than any other thing. It was a let down.

[musicallisto]

Hello love,

Congratulations for the 800 followers! You absolutely deserve this and so much more! I'm happy to see how your blog grows and that you're still providing all of us with wonderful content. You're one of the first blogs that I've started to follow here on Tumblr and I'm so lucky to have found your blog ♡

As for your celebration event, could I please request a 🍨 vanilla milkshake with a male Peaky Blinders Character?

I'm more on the curvy side (and insecure about it) and I'm ALWAYS wearing black (which I love, no matter what others say or even more if they object). As for my personality, I'm a highly complex, paradox and complicated individium. I'm unbelievable patient, timid, awkward, kind, forgiving, open-minded, compassionate, thruthful, gentle and calm and I've been told that I have a calming effect on others, that I can easily ground anyone and anything, no matter how troubled their mind is. I prefer vintage over modern things. I think rather deep which often leads me to overthinking everything, which in turn leads me to doubting (very much) myself. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I am, I'm sure you wouln't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (but I like it this way). I'm always well-meaning, yet often misunderstood (maybe because it's hard for me to articulate myself). I can be incredible lazy, clumsy and forgetful. I've always felt like I don't really belong anywhere, so I've started to distance myself from others a while ago. I'm a outsider, weird, a dork, not normal, a loner and I fucking love it, because I like to be different, I would hate to fit into just one box and to be like everyone else. And I like people who are not ashamed to be their 100% true self, no matter how different that is from the mainstream. I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on/by your side, no matter what. That says a lot, because I'm hard to scare away. Sometimes I feel alienated from the people and things surrounding me and I'm sure that I annoy and bore them. I'm very nervous and insecure around others, which is why I try to avoid people and why I'm not talking all that much around them (though, I'm a really good listener). I'm easily overwhelmed by large crowds and much light/noise, that's why I don't like to go outside, I prefer to cozy up at home. I would never intentionally hurt a animal and I'm not eating any meat, which is very important to me. I believe that there isn't a ounce of cruelty inside me. I'm unassuming and understanding, I only believe what I've witnessed on my own and I have endless acceptance for almost everything. Due to my Insomnia, I'm a night owl. I have strong personal values, am very opinionated and I'm really in-touch with myself and even though I'm extremly insecure, I would never reduce or change myself and views/opinions for someone and I neither have a problem to challenge authority and advocating for my beliefs. I'm a perfectionist and sometimes I really hate it. And, as you can see, I'm unable to be brief. My favourite colours are dark green, black, gold and dark purple. My greatest passion is music, even if I can't sing or play an instrument.(I prefer rock/punk/pop/80s/90s) It's the most calming and therapeutic thing when it comes to my anxiety and depression and I could never live a day without it. You will never see me in the street without headphones in my ears and even when I'm at home there's music playing almost all the time. I could talk for hours about music and what it means to me. And otherwise I love to watch films and series (I like fantasy, horror, psychological thriller, science fiction and psychological drama and almost anything from the 70s, 80s and 90s). I love rainy days and to go outside while it's pouring big, fat drops. What I love the most is to drive around without a destination, while talking and listening to music. And I love to spend time with my cat, if I could, I would have endless animals who live peacefully and loved with me. I enjoy to have deep talks and to be challenged to think. I love to take late-night-strolls, while gazing into the sky and watching the stars/moon. I have a fascination for dark and macabre things.

I really hope that's not too much? But thank you anyway ♡

Have a good day!

thank you so much for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that I was one of the first blogs you followed ;; here’s your vanilla milkshake - and it’s also my first time writing for peaky blinders, but I hope it’s alright; and I hope finn shelby will find the portrait I paint of him accurate enough...

Birmingham was a drab and disheartening place enough without the war adding to its joylessness; but somehow the streets are even worse to bear deserted than when they’re bustling and fetid. Especially for a ten year old boy who wants nothing but to play with someone, to talk to someone, to see someone.

With his brothers off fighting somewhere in France and his aunt too busy with her businesses (adult stuff that Finn has absolutey no interest in attempting to understand), the youngest Shelby has been fighting off an affliction worse than consumption and measles, because much more insidious for a boy his age; boredom

and he’s so sad, so irrevocably sad, with no one to bruise his knees with and throw mud at, that he just aimlessly wanders the empty streets whenever aunt Polly isn’t looking, to find a semblance of stimulation

(he used to enjoy the solitude, it gave him time to imagine delirious stories in fantastical worlds and read the most enthralling of novels, but not anymore. four years of reclusion is an awfully long time for a little boy.)

and it’s during one of his escapades that he first meets you

you’re a little girl his age, dressed in a pretty dress, wearing pretty booties and holding a pretty little woven basket, but your face is stuck on the most grouchy frown he’s ever seen on a little girl, and you don’t walk, you stomp down the wet pavement like a wrathful titan

And it’s probably the first time in four years that he’s been this close to making a new friend, so he walks up to you, despite how rusty his communication skills have become

“Girls don’t frown. It’s unbecoming.”

(Yes, pretty rusty indeed; but in his defense, he’s ten, he’s bored, he’s lonely, and he’s only ever heard Ada say it, and Ada is the most level-headed of his siblings, so anything she says must be true, right?)

“Shut up.”

(Well, if it was unbecoming of you to frown, it’s even more to rebuff someone so rudely. You don’t even spare a glance and continue walking; he has to hurry to catch up to you.)

���You can’t say that. It’s a bad word.”

“How do you know that?”

“My family says it all the time, but they told me I can’t say it.”

“Well, my family is not your family. And I hate my family!”

You’ve yelled the last words at the sky, so loud that the crows on the neighboring roofs have taken off in a startled flight.

“They want to wear this stupid dress to go to the stupid market to buy stupid meat. I don’t even want to eat meat, that’s cruel! And I don’t even want to wear a frilly dress! I want to wear black!”

And in saying so you tugged at the pink and white ribbons that encircled your waist.

And Finn couldn’t help being extremely intrigued at this little girl who said bad words and refused to eat meet and wanted to wear black. It was the most exciting thing to ever happen in all the duration of the war.

“You want to wear a black dress?”

“Yes, but my mama won’t let me. She says it’s too sad because of the war. But black isn’t sad! Black is beautiful!”

“Maybe I could find you a black dress. I’m sure my sister must have one. Where do you live?”

And, loyal to his promise, the following morning he had run to your doorstep and snuck into your house - a proper Shelby talent, to be able to go unnoticed or make a ruckus depending on the occasion - with an old, crinkled mourning dress of Ada’s, that had probably belonged to his mother and had been mended several times

And it was obviously five sizes too big for you and you looked more like a ghost from one of Finn’s horror novels, your arms floating in the sleeves and the hem of the skirt pooling at your feet, but your smile was the brightest light he’d ever seen in this whole damn town.

“Do you like it?”

(He didn’t really know why he sounds so nervous. Maybe it was having a friend, a real friend, and doing something personal for them... or maybe it had to do with how fast his heart beat, watching you in that gigantic, shapeless dress)

“I love it! Thank you so much, Finn!”

From then on started one of the most wonderful friendships Finn would ever have, and what would bring a ray of light to the grim existence of a little boy in the midst of a global war

Despite the ration cards, despite the loneliness, despite the worry that tugged at his stoic aunt’s eyes for her son and nephews across the Channel... he found an unspeakable solace in your friendship

And one day, without a trace, you were gone

He knocked on your door; gone. He asked all the neighbors what had happened to the family that lived there; gone. He wrote you letters and sent them to the confines of England; gone. He got scolded by Polly for marking numbers at random on Tommy’s state-of-the-art telephone; gone.

Suddenly he was back to the bleak existence he had battled with before meeting you, and the hollow inside his chest only grew wider as the days went on, because he had no explanation as to what had happened to you, and worried every single day

Thankfully, the war ended not long after, and his brothers came back home, all alive and unscathed - well, for the most part

Fast forward more or less ten years, and much has changed in Finn Shelby’s life and in old Birmingham, but the memory of you still stugs at his heartstrings

One evening, he’s tasked by Arthur to run some errands, send a few messages, scout a few places; the most dangerous thing his older brothers will ever let him do

His task leads him to a bar in the center of town, one that pours its joyous light and music into the street outside; he’s there to meet with a client, arrange a meeting; nothing he’s hasn’t done already

But the evening takes a turn for the unexpected when he recognizes the girl sat alone at a table, enjoying the musicians’ jazz with an air of pure bliss on her face

It’s been ten years, of course, but... it’s unmistakable. That face, that silhouette, and the black ensemble from head to toe... and he’s always had a knack for remembering faces, especially those that mark him deeply

Suddenly he’s frozen on the spot, and he has forgotten why he came to the bar in the first place, what his target looks like - all he knows is you, and how beautiful you look in the dim light of the bar, and the undisclosed and unknown feelings he had for you at the time come flooding back.

Except this time, he understands, and he fears them, because he doesn’t have time for any of this, and it’s way too dangerous for you and him

But he can’t just pass you by and not say a word?

He swallows, hard.

And walks up to you.

“Y/N?”

You open your eyes, and your face flashes with recognition, and a little bit of pain as well. Even if you fled without a word, and left him hanging all these years, he’s incapable of rancor

“Finn... wow, you’ve changed so much.”

“You haven’t.”

He gestures at your face, your clothes, how you savor the music like the finest drink in the world, and you laugh and blush, sending his heart into overdrive

“Where were you all this time?”

“I’m so sorry, Finn... my brother died in the war, and... my mom sent me to live with my grandparents in Scotland. We were all destroyed by grief... I needed to get away.”

“Without explanation? Not even a word?”

“I wanted to write to you, so bad, but... I couldn’t remember your address. I couldn’t remember anything about Birmingham at all...”

He nods, slowly, in understanding.

The war opens wounds that never heal, even after all the most beautiful friendships and love stories in the world.

“But I’m really glad I found you.”

His heart is pounding in his throat. Maybe it’s a sign of destiny that he found you here, tonight, alone, and ready to welcome him back. Maybe it’s a word from fate, that you can never truly be apart.

So he takes the seat in front of you, and you smile, that shy but bright smile of yours, and he forgets all about his mission, his client, and his brothers.

They’ll have to understand.

800 follower sleepover

[heavyarethecrowns]

Forget Wills and Kate - it's Harry who's found love - May 2007

Gazing into the flames of a campfire on the banks of Botswana's Okavango River, a scruffily dressed young man took a sip of his beer and let out a prolonged sigh.

Minutes later, he was pouring his heart out to the three strangers sitting beside him.

"Apparently, he had fallen in love with some girl in Cape Town who was the daughter of a rich businessman in Zimbabwe.

"He seemed really serious about her, saying he couldn't understand how he had fallen head-over-heels only four days after meeting her," one of those fellow travellers later recalled.

The love-sick youth was, of course, Prince Harry, then on holiday in Africa during his gap year. And the girl who made such an impact was Chelsy Davy.

Three years on, almost to the day, Harry is preparing to wave goodbye to his girlfriend and march off to war.

Much has happened to the young prince in the intervening period: officer training at Sandhurst; periodic brawls with the paparazzi; and his father's marriage to the woman Harry once blamed for causing his late mother so much anguish.

But, to the surprise of many observers, one of the few constants in Harry's life has turned out to be the coltish, snub-nosed girl he met in Cape Town.

Indeed, some of his friends believe that an engagement is almost certainly on the cards, though probably not for a few years yet.

Of course, feelings can change. A tour of duty in Iraq, fighting for his country, may accelerate the progression from pampered prince to more mature man of the world: he may want to close the book on his youth, open a new chapter, find a different kind of soulmate.

But maybe not. Even 12 months ago, few could have predicted that Harry's long- distance relationship with the coquettish daughter of a Zimbabwean wheeler-dealer and former Coca-Cola model would outlast William's romance with the eminently proper Kate Middleton.

The truth of the matter, however, is that Harry has always seen himself and Chelsy as better suited and more capable of going the distance.

"And now," said a well-placed source this week, "he's been proved right."

The 22-year- old prince has become increasingly irritated by what he saw as the "hype" surrounding William and Kate's relationship.

A friend of Harry's says: "Harry doesn't want to be subjected to the level of interest people have been taking in William and Kate.

"It's his idea of hell. But he also feels very frustrated at the way people are so dismissive of him and Chelsy.

"They are always portrayed as a pair of poor little rich kids who will burn themselves out sooner rather than later.

"In Harry's mind, there is nothing ridiculous whatsoever in the idea that one day, in the not-too-distant future, Princess Chelsy could be standing on the balcony at Buckingham Palace - even though she would probably be hiding a cigarette and a bottle of Malibu behind her back."

Despite the stream of paparazzi photographs that reveal a fondness for partying and a distinctly beach-chick style, the 21-year-old Zimbabwean has been an "A" student at school and university.

Harry would not want to change anything about her.

While others - including his own father, according to Harry - find themselves transfixed by Chelsy's more obvious charms - the prince has always believed that his girlfriend has some sterling qualities that Kate probably lacked.

"Harry has always been quietly very proud of the fact that Chelsy - or Chedda, as he affectionately calls her - loves him for who he is.

"In fact, she sees the fact that he's royal as more of a hindrance than a help," says a confidante.

"As the hugely popular daughter of a multi-millionaire businessman with homes in at least three different countries, she doesn't really need to take advantage of Harry's birthright."

One source close to the prince suggests that he actually sided with members of William's circle who felt that Kate Middleton had started to take advantage of the relationship.

"Harry had sympathy with those of William's friends who felt Kate had begun to rather enjoy her fame by association a little too much - unlike his own girlfriend, who he thinks is a 'real class act'," the source explains.

'When she first met William, Kate had few friends of her own - but over the years, she carefully assimilated herself into his circle.

"There was a feeling among some of William's friends that Kate had become a little too self-aware - she even had the cheek to bag herself a cut-price Audi, thanks to her royal links - while publicly insisting that she wanted to be treated as an ordinary girl."

Although Chelsy and Kate were photographed together on several occasions, most notably at the Beaufort Polo Club last summer, Harry's girlfriend apparently didn't particularly take to Kate.

"It wasn't that she disliked her - it's just that they had nothing in common. One only has to look at them to see it," says the source.

"Chelsy is a lot sweeter than she looks, but she is still a very outgoing girl who likes a beer and a fag.

Thanks to her rather indulged upbringing, she is incredibly sociable and self-confident - qualities that don't come naturally to Kate."

Others more sympathetic to Miss Middleton's cause, suggest the reality is that Chelsy has been just as keen to turn a royal relationship to her advantage.

She may protest about the attention, but she has not raised objections about her new status as international cover girl.

Last year, the society magazine, Tatler, even bracketed her with the Duchess of Cornwall as one of the most powerful blondes in Britain.

Her brother Shaun, meanwhile, has taken to styling himself as one of Harry's official bodyguards, and has been known to chase after photographers when they try to take the prince's picture.

Yet, in Harry's besotted eyes, Chelsy and her family can do no wrong.

Courtiers who have expressed concern about the Davys' controversial business links to Zimbabwean despot Robert Mugabe, have been told that she is a "non-negotiable" part of his life.

And he is undoubtedly entranced by the relative normality of his girlfriend's close-knit family.

Which is perhaps hardly surprising. By the age of 13, Harry had weathered not only his parents' separation but had also been forced to cope with the tragic - and endlessly raked-over -death of his mother.

Since then, his upbringing has been marked by a lack of parental discipline, thanks to his loving but laissez-faire father.

Even those with reservations about Chelsy concede that she has had a positive effect on the headstrong, devil-may-care young prince.

"It's far from a coincidence that when Harry does slip up - the times when he falls out of nightclubs drunk and brawls with photographers in the streets - Chelsy isn't around," says one who knows them both well.

"Believe it or not, he has matured in recent years - in large part thanks to Chelsy, whom he is incredibly protective of - and really does try to keep his head down.

"They are so besotted with each other - like a couple of lovebirds, really - that when they are together, nothing else really matters.

"Their body language is so different from that of Kate and William, who always used to look more like brother and sister.

"The trouble is that when Chelsy isn't around, Harry is easily led astray."

On their recent jaunt to the Caribbean, the couple barely left their luxury condo in the exclusive Glitter Bay resort in Barbados, preferring to lie, holding hands, by the pool.

And at last Friday's raucous Blues and Royals party to celebrate Harry's deployment to Iraq, it was William who stayed out clubbing until 4am with a bevy of beautiful girls.

Harry and Chelsy quietly sipped cocktails in a private booth before slipping off discreetly at 1am.

Lately, friends have noticed that the relationship seems to be deepening - although that is not to say there haven't been some pretty intense spats.

Unlike William, who was accused of leaving Kate to flounder under the weight of expectation while he forged on with his own life, Harry has been actively encouraging Chelsy to make solid plans for their future.

Bristol University has flatly denied rumours she plans to do a postgraduate degree there in the autumn, but friends say she is definitely planning to spend more time in England, where she has many friends from her days as a boarder at Stowe, a co-educational public school in Buckinghamshire.

She has even cancelled her plans to return to Africa over the summer and will instead wait for Harry to return from Iraq on leave.

"Chelsy hates the weather here, but is desperate to be nearer to her darling Haz. She is willing to make sacrifices if it takes their relationship a step forward," says a friend.

And Harry has already asked Chelsy to attend the memorial concert in July that he and William are organising to mark the tenth anniversary of their mother's death, though they are still discussing whether she should attend the formal church service later that month.

A Clarence House source says: "The problem is that every senior member of the Royal Family will be there, and Harry knows that taking her is tantamount to making a public statement on the future of their relationship.

"He doesn't think that it's fair on her to open the floodgates just yet."

In the immediate future, he knows that he needs to concentrate on leading his men in Iraq.

The highly charged public debate over his deployment to the Gulf has radically increased the pressure on him to make a success of his career - and he wants to show that the Army's confidence in him has not been misplaced.

"After what happened to my mother, I'm not afraid to die - but I am frightened for those around me," he recently confided to one close friend.

Although he did once petulantly threaten to quit if he were not sent to Iraq with his troops, his attitude has changed in the last few months.

"He knows that the situation is bigger than him now, and he'll take whatever he is told to do on the chin," says a royal aide.

Indeed, those who know him well say he is haunted by the fear that one of his men could be captured or even killed because of him.

"That's something he just couldn't bear, and he knows he would be held to account for the rest of his life.

"The men in his troop have tried to reassure him - joking that they will all wear ginger wigs to confuse the enemy, which is typical of Army gallows humour - but he is wracked with guilt," says another friend.

Iraq, however, is also Harry's big opportunity to strike out from under his elder brother's shadow.

For the first time in his life, the spare to William's heir will be taking centre stage.

"Harry loves his brother very much, but he is acutely aware of the way in which he is overshadowed by William.

"He is determined to go to war and make his family proud," says a friend.

But unlike William, he will have a long-term sweetheart to sweep into his arms when he returns.

[consumedkings-archive]

a kiss after a long time apart + misolde xoxo

hi dove thanks so much for letting me consume my day with thoughts of Them : )) this went long but mostly because these two don’t know how to shut the fuck up !!! and thank you for making this gorgeous header for me with our little dark comedy sitcom vibes ;--;

i. parental disaster ✤ michael hughes x isolde khan

words: 3.2k

prompt:  “a kiss after a long time apart” taken from this list!

rating: mature, nothing explicit just some teasing insinuations

warnings: pretty much none! the biggest warning is the fact that somehow these two manage to ever keep their clothes on for anything. also softness, and isolde’s parents being nosy, and soli being in her feelings for .0000005 seconds

It shouldn’t be bothering her so much that he isn’t answering her calls.

It shouldn’t be, but it is, because while her parents chatter happily in her living room, she’s been trying to figure out how she can give Michael some kind of warning before he drops by. He always does, when he’s been gone for a while; comes straight from the airport to her house, sauntering in like he isn’t suffering severe jet lag, with that boyish smile on his face.

Of course, her parent’s arrival isn’t unannounced. Isolde had just—forgotten. Which is unlike her, in every sense of the word, unlike her in so many ways but no matter which way she looks at it, the fact of the matter is: her parents told her they were coming to visit, she had confirmed, and then promptly forgotten about it.

Isolde has a glass of wine in her hand that’s mostly untouched when, over the sound of music playing and pleasant chitchat, a car door closes and her mother says, “Oh, is that Michael?” with such warm surprise that it’s astounding Isolde doesn’t about fall over herself trying to get up from the couch.

A warning. He just needs a fair warning, is all, so that he’s not stressed out, since they hadn’t talked about it at all. That’s all. She’s not worried. That would be silly.

By the time she’s set her wine glass down and is picking her way through the tangle of family’s suitcases, Michael has already swept through the door and announces, “Honey, I’m—oh.”

He slows in the foyer, his gaze darting from her to the family members she’s collected in her living room: her younger sister, her father, and her mother. Michael clears his throat and shifts on his feet, the jovial expression quickly muting itself into what she can only imagine is his best fast-paced attempt at professional.

Avery chirps from the floor, “Hi, Mike!” and he waves—or does his best, anyway, when it seems like his brain is trying to calculate too many things at one time.

“Michael,” and she’s hurrying, her own frantic energy translating into a gesture that is only hands fluttering aimlessly, unsure where to land, “my parents are here. My dad, Basir, and my mother, Isla, and—well, you know Avery already, uh—”

“That’s cool,” Michael replies, and then closes his eyes for a minute like he regrets the words instantly. “I mean—that’s great, Soli, I would have showered first or somethin’, if—it’s really nice to meet you—”

“It’s okay, really,” Basir assures quickly. “We’re not worried about it. Isolde said you were away on business. We just got in a few hours ago ourselves.”

Her dad says it like that’s supposed to be comforting, or something, which she knows it isn’t because both her mother and father look perfectly pressed and as though they have been there for days already.

She can see the gears grinding laboriously in his brain, so she says, “I’m going to help him bring his things in,” and then promptly turns Mike around and pushes him into the kitchen. Too late, she thinks, they know his shit isn’t in the kitchen, but she’s already committed to their path, and the sliding door separating the kitchen and the living room will afford them some privacy.

This isn’t the way that she wants this to happen. She’d wanted plenty of time to prepare—calculated risks only, the kind that she’s sure she’s going to win because there’s no way she won’t. It’s not even a matter of being worried that her parents will like Michael; they will, of course. It’s a matter of him liking them.

And maybe a little about them liking him.

“I tried calling,” she says, once the door is closed, “I tried calling like—eight times, Michael—”

“I was on a plane!” It’s not anger hiking up his voice, it’s distress; he’s rummaging around in the cabinet, looking for something to calm his nerves. “And you know I like to just drive—”

“Straight here, I know.” She opens a different cabinet than the one he’s digging through and plants the bottle of whiskey he keeps there in his hand. It’s quickly followed by a glass to put it in, though she’s sure he’s considering the logistics of just drinking it directly from the bottle. “And you don’t check your phone because you’ve been working for weeks straight. Anyway, they’re only here for a few days, and they’re very excited to meet you.”

Michael makes a miserable little noise around a mouthful of whiskey. Fingers rake through his hair, tousling it all out of place as he stands in the middle of the kitchen looking entirely out of place. His brows furrow, and he presses his palm to his forehead like he’s trying to focus. “Okay, alright, uh—your dad is Basir, your mom is Isla, dad’s a diplomat and mom’s a professor of...P-...Uhh...Fuck, it’s—you’ve told me before, I know what it is—”

“Michael.”

“—does start with a p, right? There can’t be that many degrees that—”

“Mikey.”

“Yeah.”

Isolde cups both sides of his face in her hands. “It’s not the SATs, you don’t need to have an essay answer ready.” She takes the glass out of his hand and takes a swallow. “Also, it’s political science and psychology.”

“Oh,” he replies dryly, “if that’s all.”

“She also sometimes does independent studies for comparative world religions, or Latin, if there’s enough interest. She’s vegetarian, and my dad is not. He prefers whiskey over any clear liquor and my mom only drinks wine, except on special occasions.”

He watches her for a moment, the corner of his mouth ticking upward. “You wanna keep that glass? Sounds like you might need it more than me,” he prompts, and she finds herself smiling in spite of the way things could not have gone any less than she planned it.

“You were gone for longer than usual,” she says by way of avoiding acknowledging her stress. There’s a bit of a pout in her voice, and she busies her hands with pouring more alcohol into the glass so that she doesn’t sound so pathetic when she adds, “I missed you.”

“You did?” His voice bleeds with amusement, the cat that ate the canary, as he noses her cheek. “Isolde missed me? Tried and true reptilian ice queen—”

“You know what? They can have you back.”

Michael flashes a grin at her. He’s sidled close, crowded her up pleasantly against the counter. “I missed you too.”

He’s close. Not as close as she’d like—their ritual of shucking his clothes the second he walks through her door after a long business trip so that she can drag him straight into the shower foregone in lieu of their guests—but close enough that when his nose brushes hers, she’s reminded that she hasn’t had the chance to kiss him in quite some time.

But when Michael leans in to kiss her, she tilts her head back, just out of his reach.

“How much,” she idles, their company forgotten, “did you miss me?”

“I had plans to show you,” he replies lowly, “you know, before I found out I’d have to behave.”

“You always have to behave.”

“When it’s so fun to have you scold me?” He tilts his head. “C’mon, doll, you know me better than that.”

Isolde’s eyes narrow playfully, and when she opens her mouth to respond the only thing stopping her from reminding him what happens when he decides to inspire a scolding out of her is the sound of the sliding door creeping open and her dad’s tentative voice.

“Soli?” His voice is light, coddling. “If now’s a bad time, you know you can tell us. We won’t mind.”

Oh, right. That.

“No, daddy, it’s fine,” she replies instantly, turning as Michael disengages from her to fetch another glass out of the cabinet. “I was just—”

“Debriefing,” Basir interjects, not unkindly, because he knows her. A smile crinkles the corner of his eyes, the gesture warming his expression. “Your mother is wondering if Michael needs help finding his bags in the kitchen.”

“Oh, we’ll get those later.” Isolde takes the last swallow of whiskey out of the glass she’s commandeered from Michael. “Out in a minute, just making a drink.”

“Should I give your mother your wine, then?”

“She’ll get more use of it than I will.”

He waves his hand, sliding the door shut again, and Michael sets his new glass next to hers.

“He seems nice,” is what he offers after a minute.

“He is nice,” Sol agrees, reaching up and patting Michael’s shoulder. “And you’re going to have ample opportunity to experience it for yourself.”

He grimaces—surely, in anxiety and not in detesting the incoming interaction—and presses a quick kiss to her temple.

“I can’t wait.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

All in all, it goes well.

Of course it goes well. Isolde knows that it will—even if the abrupt way the whole meeting has come about is enough to make her want to rip her hair out—but it’s still a comfort to watch it play out; Michael sitting on the couch close to her as she tucks her knees up beneath her on the floor and goads her father into playing her in a game of chess, Avery watching from the sidelines and her mother surveying with the same kind of amused, watchful gaze that she always does.

Isla asks Michael a lot of questions. She asks about his family, pleasantly gliding over it when it seems like he doesn’t want to express a lot about that particular subject, and what he does for work—another subject that he manages to delicately step through—and does he like living in Hope County? It’s very beautiful, has he ever wanted to live anywhere? Does he travel often for work? Is he an only child? Does he want children of his own?

“Mother,” Isolde scolds, pushing the black bishop into place. “Please do not interrogate Michael about if he wants to procreate with me or not.”

“Not you particularly,” her mother defends, “but just in general.”

“It’s important to know.” Basir frowns, watching as Isolde dispatches of his rook. “You should always be on the same page, you know.”

“Perhaps you should focus on this page we’re on now, before I checkmate you.”

He grumbles and takes a sip of his drink. Absently, Isolde reaches up behind her, fingers affectionately finding Michael’s as she studies the board.

“So,” Isla continues sweetly, “children?”

“Michael,” Isolde says, “you don’t have to answer.”

“I don’t mind,” he laughs, and when she looks at him over her shoulder with a scrutinizing gaze, he lifts his eyebrows. “I don’t mind.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t have a set number,” Michael allows, his fingers tangled with hers as she preoccupies herself with the chessboard. “I always think I’d be happiest with whatever my partner wants.”

“Good boy,” Basir praises, beaming. He waves a finger “You can always negotiate for a different number, but not if you try and set it in stone.”

Isolde sighs. “We will not be negotiating for children.”

“Why not? It could be fun.”

“You could make it a game,” Avery suggests, pulling the throw blanket more securely around her shoulders. “Soli picks the number, Michael coerces and negotiates.”

A laugh billows out of Mike behind her, and he says, “Nah, that’s too easy. I’d get whatever I wanted. Wouldn’t be any game.”

Isolde makes an indignant sound. It’s all play, because it’s cute that Michael thinks he can get whatever he wants when he wants it (and maybe there is a bit of truth to those words, but he doesn’t need to know the extent of his own power just yet). She squints at him.

“I’ve made men cry before, you know.” Michael mmhms at her. “Lots of men.”

“And I think that,” he agrees, giving her shoulder a little squeeze “is very attractive.”

“That’s what you want, my love,” Isla chides at her, coming to a stand and taking Sol’s glass out of her hands to carry it into the kitchen for refills. “Someone who likes even the most vicious parts of you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Later, Avery has retired to bed—buzzed from a single glass of wine, no less—and her mother is talking to her about how busy it’s been at work, but Isolde is wrapped up watching her father make big, dramatic hand gestures while he smokes outside with Michael. The scent of the clove cigarettes her father favors drift in from the screen door out to the porch, and paired with the sound of crickets chirping in the late evening, she feels a pang in her stomach; something like longing, or nostalgia, but for the moment she’s in right then and there.

Perhaps sadness, that it will come to a natural end.

Her mother’s fingers card through her hair affectionately. “You seem tired, beloved. You both do.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, he does this often,” Isolde replies, glancing away from where her father is perhaps two cigarettes deep into some story he almost certainly shouldn’t be telling Michael, flip-flopping between Turkish and English in his excitement. “Or he was, until whatever’s going on out there started happening. How does daddy manage to sit on a plane for something like nineteen hours and he’s got all that energy still?”

Her mother makes an amused noise, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and pulling herself into a stand, sighing. “He’s perpetually propelled by his love for you and your sister, I am sure.”

“That’s a nice way to say manic.”

“It’s nice seeing you happy,” her mother continues, glossing over what is only a true statement about her father’s frenetic energy. “For ourselves, I mean. It’s one thing for Avery to tell us about how happy he makes you—”

She snorts. “What a gossip.”

“—another entirely,” Isla interrupts, “to see it in real-time.” She brushes the hair away from Isolde’s face. “You were always prone to loneliness, my girl. Ever since you were a baby, you preferred it over our attention.”

The words make Isolde’s chest feel tight. Prone to loneliness is something that only her mother could say and it not be an insult, only an objective observation. Stinging harder still is the knowledge that most of the time, being around people does feel stifling to her—except with Michael.

Isla flashes her a smile and makes her way over to the screen door, sliding it open and leaning against the doorway. “Basir?”

She can see her mother’s caught her father right on the tail end, because he stops and looks at her with bright eyes. “Yes, my darling? I was telling Michael about that French ambassador who—”

“I am sure Michael would love to hear the end of the story in the morning,” her mother coaxes. “It’s late. Come to bed.”

“Oh, alright. If you don’t mind, Michael,” her father tacks on, looking back at Mike, “waiting for the end.”

Michael’s eyes flicker, meeting hers through the doorway, an easy, lopsided smile sliding onto his face. “Don’t mind at all.”

“First thing tomorrow, then. And,” Basir continues, ushering in after her mother, “I won’t keep you up anymore, darling. Come on, come on, bedtime.”

There’s more chatter like that as they exit, murmured goodnights and the aggressive bear hug from her father that comes when he’s had more than one shot of whiskey; Michael closes and locks the sliding door and makes his way to where Isolde is tucked up on the couch. As he settles in beside her, their fingers interlock on the back of the couch and she takes in a little breath.

Handsome. He’s painfully, excruciatingly handsome, maybe even more so because she just watched him weather the storm that is her parents, noisy and nosy but well-meaning. The sigh that he lets out when he’s settled on the couch makes her think that he’s finally letting a breath out he’s been holding, even though he’s got no reason to be stressed about her parents liking him.

“I like them,” he tells her. “Your dad’s funny.”

“Don’t let him hear you.” Isolde drapes her legs over his lap, setting her mostly-empty glass aside. “He’ll never stop trying out his jokes on you.”

Michael laughs and leans in to brush their noses together; he doesn’t go right for a kiss, not straight away, and there’s this little thread of anticipation that pulls on her heart when she remembers how long it’s been since she’s had a real kiss from him. Weeks. That’s something criminal, isn’t it?

“Haven’t kissed you,” she murmurs after a moment, “not proper, since you got back.”

“Well,” Michael coaxes, “what on earth are you waitin’ for, then?”

“Thought maybe you’d want to use your negotiation skills for more than a kiss.”

The brunette grins, leaning in the rest of the way to close the distance between them and kiss her; at last, at last, something inside of her says, relieved to have him there at last, and she reaches up with her free hand to tangle her fingers in his hair and keep him there.

There’s no rush to it. It’s an unhurried, leisurely re-mapping, re-familiarizing, though she hasn’t forgotten and neither has he. Isolde kisses him like he’s been gone for weeks and that he’s not ever going to leave for that long again, which isn’t true—but she can pretend, for a little while, that it is.

And it’s a little alarming, how her chest aches when she realizes how long he’s been gone, how much she’s missed having him around, how much she—

“I feel like,” he says against her mouth, between what are now sparse liplocks peppering his words, “maybe I don’t have to negotiate for more—”

“Michael,” Isolde hums sweetly, “shut up.”

“Boy, but you’re sexy when you boss me around.”

“I’m about to get a lot sexier if you don’t start kissing me like you mean it.”

He pulls back, that little smile still on his face, his arm sliding around her midsection to pull her more comfortably against him. But he doesn’t go back to kissing her; he trails his mouth along the slope of her jaw, and kisses the hollow below her ear before he says, “I always mean it when I kiss you, Soli.”

Oh, no, she thinks, her throat feeling tight. She’s not going to cry, that would be fucking stupid, and she’d rather fucking die before she lets Michael see a tear slip out of her—but it’s the same kind of feeling, the overwhelmingly bittersweet feeling knowing that this moment is going to end and she’ll have to remind herself of it, later.

“I know,” she replies, softer this time when she kisses him. “Now stop ruining the moment with your sappiness and pitch your deal to me already.”

“Alright,” Michael puffs, “three kids, get started on the first one now—”

She groans, but not without affection, and he hauls her up into his arms bridal style to begin carrying her back to the bedroom.

He says, pleasantly, “We could at least get some practice in.”

“Sure, baby,” Isolde murmurs, pressing her face into his neck. “Whatever you want.”

And she doesn’t have to see the smile to know he’s got it plastered on his face when he says, “Told you it’d be too easy.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

[chiscribbs]

PLUS EST EN VOUS Review

(Over a week later, and I’m finally posting this. At least I don’t have to worry about another episode coming out before it’s posted.)

Okay - there’s a lot to cover, so without further ado...  Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Things I liked about the finale:

All of the beautiful Cass / Rapunzel scenes! 

They were so emotional and beautifully done, it felt like everything that needed to be said was said, and seeing them act like friends again was very cathartic for me. In a lot of ways, Cass & Raps’ relationship reminds me of some of my own (old ones that didn’t end so smoothly, and then newer ones that I can already tell will leave a lasting impression on my life) and seeing them reconcile and talk about how much they meant to each other really warmed my heart. A best friend is an irreplaceable thing, and I love that their interactions showed that. I also really appreciated the “I love you”s, because the world needs more of those between friends. And it also reminded me of Eugene saying the same thing to Lance, in Beyond the Corona Walls.

The awesome Team Awesome content!  There was an abundance of it in this episode, and I loved every second of it! Truth be told, I was never a big “Team Awesome” fan until S3 came around. The relationship always felt a tad too one-sided to me, and I just couldn’t see them being particularly close, at least not as close as Varian and Rapunzel. The fandom helped me warm up to the idea a little bit, but this past season definitely sold it for me. Eugene has really matured and become a lot less self-involved since the first time they met. I absolutely love that he’s turned into sort of a cool older brother figure to Varian (in fact, many of their interactions are reminiscent of moments I’ve shared with my own brother) and Var now looks up to him rather than just the “Flynn Rider” persona. The fact that Eugene could tease him about his past mistakes and Varian just turned around and casually joked right back? That made my heart happy.

Speaking of maturing & happy hearts -

 I’M SO PROUD OF THIS BOY!!! 

I know I say that a lot, but He’s just come so far since S1, or even the beginning of S3! There were a ton of little moments showcasing his growth in this episode. Such as:  - Jumping onto the piano to help Raps rally the troops (did anybody think we were going to get pianist Varian? I sure didn’t, but I’m not complaining.) - Stating with certainty that he can rebuild Demanitus’ portal, before even seeing the schematics, and just overall showing more confidence in his abilities. (Quirin looked so proud when he was building the portal...you know, before going  all mind-slave and trying to pull the lever.) - Being the first - the FIRST - of the gang to walk into Demanitus’ tomb. This may seem small, but it was such a 180 from Be Very Afraid, where he was nervous and trailing behind Raps the entire time. Now he’s not only joining in on the adventure, he’s taking the lead on occasion! - Rigging Quirin’s helmet with a temporary stun mechanism as a fail-safe for the mind-trap. He seemed hurt and offended when Eugene initially brought up the possibility of his dad being a double-agent, but even so, he listened. He put common sense and the safety of others before his own feelings, and that’s not an easy thing to do.  - Firing an explosive concoction straight into the face of an enormous demon monster??? I mean,...heck yeah, boy!! Also - using his past mistakes (i.e. the amber and monster!Ruddiger) and repurposing them towards something good. I could go on, but you get the idea. he’s just come so far and I could not be more proud of his development. And the fact that he went on to become Corona’s Royal Alchemist Engineer was just the cherry on top! YOU DESERVE IT, BOY!!! 👏👏👏

You know who else I’m proud of? Rapunzel. She was never my favorite character in the series (despite being the protagonist,) but this story - and this past season in particular - has really endeared me to her. She’s grown so much, she’s become a strong and wise leader, and I’m proud of her for it. Honestly, I’ve related to her far more this past season than any other. And I don’t know if that’s because she’s older and more mature now, or because her naivete and eager-to-please attitude is all but gone, or because she just felt a lot more real and vulnerable in recent episodes - but I really, truly love her. And I’m happy to see her story reach its completion. (Also - long-haired brunette Raps is my new favorite thing, tbh.)

THIS:

‘Nough said, I think.

The epic new powers and abilities (and return of some old ones)!!! There were so many moments while watching the finale where I was literally just yelling at my sister like “wHOA, DID YOU SEE THAT?! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!” I had no idea that Cass could make ANIMATED WOLF HEADS of the black rocks, that completely blew me away! And then there were those golden rocks that Zhan Tiri manifested, that was so cool! I wonder if the sundrop alone could make those appear, or if you had to have both of the elements to make it work. Also - the Healing Incantation was finally brought back! I knew it would be, eventually, but I’d almost completely forgotten that was a plot point by the time the finale came around. It was good to hear Mandy’s voice saying those familiar, nostalgic words again. And she put so much emotion into it!

Now, onto the less fun stuff...

Things I disliked about the finale:

(Feel free to skip over this section if you’d rather just focus on the positives, I fully understand. I’ll do my best to be fair and only address the things that really stood out to me.)

This subplot went on for far too long:

It was pretty funny for the first few minutes (and I’m sure the animators loved getting to go crazy with the characters’ designs like this,) but after awhile, I was like “is this really what we want over half of our cast to be doing during the BIG FINALE?” I mean, we already had the monkey gag, which I actually thought was a riot. And this one came right in the middle of a pretty climactic moment, so it just seemed kind of out of place.  I’ll admit, the snake-hair joke and Lance’s multiple eyes had me rolling, but ultimately, I just felt like this whole bit only served to waste limited time that definitely could have been better utilized.

The portal was too quickly demolished.  They could have at least come close to a success with it before it was destroyed, so that it didn’t feel completely useless! I get that they wanted ZT to be defeated by her own power, and I’m down for that, but if the portal’s sole purpose within the story was just to temporarily remove all the secondary characters in limbo so that the mains could do their thing, I can’t really get behind it.  Especially seeing as their only Plan B was “throw things at the giant all-powerful octopus monster,” come on, guys. I would have preferred that be a last-resort after several failed attempts at other pre-orchestrated plans. They could have had Varian and Quirin working on repairing the portal while the others distract/attack Zhan Tiri and THEN have her destroy it (purposefully, rather than by some random falling rock.) Or, maybe everyone could have been in on the plan to get the sundrop and moonstone to meet, and then have Raps and Cass are the ones who finally succeed in doing it. I don’t know, I just feel like there was a lot of wasted potential there.

This scene:

I’m going to be perfectly honest, this scene bothered me. For a multitude of reasons:

Firstly; it was a shot-for-shot copy (not a parallel, a copy) of the iconic New Dream moment from the movie, just replacing Eugene with Cass. That wasn't necessary, Cass and Raps have their own unique relationship and their own moments, they don’t need to steal Raps & Eugene’s. This should have remained a New Dream-only thing, in my opinion. (Especially seeing as her parents already stole their gondola bit...I’m mostly joking about that one.)

Secondly; it didn’t make sense? Rapunzel was standing just as close to the blast as Cassandra, yet she wasn’t harmed at all. In fact, she seemed completely unfazed by it. Why was Cass the only one effected? (And we can’t even make an argument that the moonstone shard protected her, because the powers were lost the moment the two fused.) If they needed a brush-with-death scene, why not have ZT hurt Cass? I feel like that would have been a lot more dramatic, especially after manipulating her for an entire season.

And finally; it made every other character’s “death” seem unimportant in comparison. I get that the writers needed Raps to use the Healing Incantation, but, EVERYBODY ELSE WAS ALREADY HALF-DEAD, AT THIS POINT. I’m sorry, but, why wasn’t that incentive enough to use the healing power? Why did we need to have Cass’s near-death on top of everybody else’s?  I mean, I would’ve been maybe a little bit more okay with it had Rapunzel mourned everybody’s death and not just Cass’s, and then used the power to save ALL of them at once. But instead, she completely forgot about everyone else until the very last second, which was frustrating. I’m not a fan of plot devices that ignore other characters, especially when the protagonist is supposed to care about them but then just doesn’t even seem to remember that they exist for a hot minute. This felt like the ending of Freebird, only worse because you can’t make the excuse that she was unaware. (Just to be clear, I’m not blaming Rapunzel. I know it wasn’t meant to come across that way, I just feel like it was not well executed.) There are a lot of ways that this could have been done differently. Rapunzel and Cass could have BOTH been devastated about their friends/loved ones, I would have loved to see Cass show genuine concern and remorse towards the OTHER people whom her actions hurt, not just Raps. Or, Rapunzel could have at least landed near Cass so it would’ve made sense for her to notice her first, and then looked around and noticed everybody else before using the healing incantation. At least that way, the other characters wouldn’t have felt so much like a second-thought. I don’t know, I just didn’t appreciate the treatment of the supporting cast in this scene at all. It felt like they were forgotten right up until the very last second.

Cass didn’t get to sing in any of the songs.  I was really surprised by this, I figured given how important her role had become, she’d get to sing at least one line (like Lance and Varian did.) But nope. Actually, a good 90% of the music in this episode was sung by Raps, and as much as I love the songs & Mandy’s beautiful voice, I was hoping for the other characters to be a little bit more involved. Especially in the Life After Happily Ever After (Reprise), that would have been a great opportunity to have everybody sing together.

Things I would have liked to see in the finale:

More information about Demanitus and ZT.  We got so little! I was expecting this episode to answer all of our questions about that two, but I still have no idea; what their relationship was, where Zhan Tiri came from, why exactly she wanted the power (besides just to have it for herself, I guess), or how they came across the SD and MS in the first place! Like, just a little bit more information would have been nice, the only thing the flashback really gave us was what ZT looked like before spending a few millenia in limbo. (Also - apparently Corona is several thousand years old??? Which, I didn’t know, I was under the impression that it was a fairly new kingdom.)

Closure for this relationship:

This is probably what I was most disappointed by. Honestly, I’m still kind of surprised that this didn’t happen, even just a little bit. Given that Cass was wearing the Cassandrium at the end, we can safely assume that they at least parted on good terms. But the last few exchanges that they had really gave me the impression that we’d be getting some kind of closure before the credits rolled. We were given two whole episodes focusing on the unique bond that these two share (that’s more than we were given for Cass & Eugene,) they were painted as parallels, so it only makes sense to give them a proper wrap-up. In CR, Cass seemed hurt and devastated after realizing that she’d effectively pushed Varian away, it’s clear his friendship meant a lot to her. Not to mention, Var had the best understanding of Cass’s feelings, he could relate to her - especially about her guilt and fear of not being forgiven. But despite all of the build-up & foreshadowing, they didn’t even get an on-screen goodbye? Not a single “thank you” or “I’m sorry”?  I realize that the main focus was always on Cass & Raps’ friendship, and I’m totally fine with that. I’m just saying that after all the obvious parallels and time invested in this relationship, it would have been nice to get some closure. I just wish they’d included at least one little dialogue exchange to wrap it up in a satisfactory way, like we got with Cass and Eugene.

Actual pay-off for all the Varian - Demanitus parallels.  I think we can all agree that this seemed like it was going somewhere, and then it just...didn’t. He did rebuild the portal, but it turned out to be useless, and outside of that, the similarity was never touched upon. Not by Rapunzel, or Zhan Tiri, not even Xavier made the connection. I mean - this kid is doing at 15/16 what Demanitus did in the latter half of his life. He’s not only following the legendary engineer/inventor’s footsteps, he’s expanding the legacy. If that’s not foreshadowing for something, I don’t know what is! And I do love the fact that he became the Royal Alchemist Engineer, but at the same time, I just feel like there was so much wasted potential in this almost-but-not-quite-subplot.

An actual Brotherhood reunion, without all the mind-trap influence.  It would have been so interesting to see them all interacting! I was surprised that, even though Edmund and Quirin were both in the same place for most of the episode, they never really interacted? Outside of mind-controlled Quirin, Hector, and Adira attacking Eugene &  Edmund, they didn’t exchange so much as a word. And I get that a lot of that was time restraints, and having to focus on more important plot points (as Edmund said “bigger fish”) but honestly, if they had time to thrown in all that netherworld nonsense, a little Brotherhood interaction doesn’t seem like too big of a favor to ask. 

Rapid-fire Opinions: 

Favorite song: Through it All

In my opinion, this song is the best group number in the show (not counting the ones only sung by main 3, such With You By My Side or Next Stop Anywhere) It’s not quite as epic as Ready As I’ll Ever Be, but it has an infectious beat and a triumphant melody that I really enjoy. Also, the scene as a whole was so cheerful and fun, and we got Varian, Lance, Kiera, and Catalina all playing various instruments! (Plus more New Dream dancing! ❤ )

Favorite callback to a previous episode: Easy answer, because it comes from (what is still) one of my favorite episodes in the series - the Cassandrium.

Favorite scene: This one’s a little tough, but I did really enjoy the little moment that Eugene and Varian had after Quirin was incapacitated by the helmet. 

I also loved the final scene where Cass said goodbye to Rapunzel and they gave each other the biggest, warmest hug I’ve ever seen in animation history (and the prior exchange between her and Eugene was really sweet, as well.)

OH! And how could I forget? That beautiful New Dream proposal. 💜 That was absolutely perfect. The animation, the music, Mandy & Zach’s incredibly heartfelt voice work, just...I loved everything about it.

Most underrated moment: Catalina pushing Kiera out of Zhan Tiri’s way and getting grabbed herself. (Show of hands, who else briefly forgot that she was a werewolf and had a small heart-attack in that moment?)

Theories I had that were proven true: 

- Cass leaving Corona to “find her own destiny.”  I’d always felt like Cass never really had a dream of her own; she didn’t know who she was, and she was never going to get the answers by staying by Rapunzel’s side. So I had a strong feeling that she would be leaving, but I’m glad to see that it was on good terms.

- Everyone vs Zhan Tiri.  Granted, like most people, I was under the impression that Xavier’s “magic and alchemy” statement would be more...relevant? Turns out, we read into that way too much. Which, honestly, is a tiny bit disappointing, but it was still cool to finally see Zhan Tiri at her most powerful.

- Varian becoming Corona’s Royal Alchemist Engineer.  This is a theory I’ve had since my early days in the fandom, and I’m glad to see it finally confirmed! My only complaint is that we didn’t get to see Rapunzel bestow the honor upon him, because I would have loved to see that exchange.

Theories that were not proven true, but I still believe:

- Varian (and possibly Quirin) being a descendant of Demanitus.  You can pry this one out of my cold, dead hands, there are way too many clues pointing to it. I’m not even sure if Demanitus has any descendants (again, we have very little information on him still) but if he does, Varian’s a prime candidate. His lineage comes from the Dark Kingdom, he’s a genius alchemist/inventor, has a personal connection to both the Sundrop and the Moonstone; honestly, I’m kind of surprised this possibility was never even considered, at least one, in canon.

- Cass will eventually return to Corona.  I have no idea when, why, or how, but I truly believe she will. Her spirit may be roaming free at the moment, but the heart always returns home. And - as it stands right now, at least - her heart is still waiting in Corona. In the meantime, though, I’m glad she’s living her best life, seeking out adventure wherever destiny leads her! She deserves it <3 

Well, that’s my full Plus Est En Vous/Tangled the Series Finale review! I’d love to hear everybody else’s thoughts on the final episode, as well; how many people were satisfied vs unsatisfied with the ending? What were everyone else’s favorite moments, what else would have been nice to see? Let me know!

Final words: This show and this fandom have meant so much to me, and I’m far from done loving it. I still have many projects in the works to celebrate the show and its completion, but in the meantime - thanks for reading.

And God bless the amazing team that came together to bring us this incredibly beautiful, meaningful, story which will always have a special place in my heart. 

[harrybabystyles]

Oh, Angel! (harry styles)

chapter one - m a s t e r l i s t -

warnings: sex, language and drinking

a/n: my first series, yay! I swear the chapters get better after this one lol, and I realize that I am not the best at smut so bear with me, also the gif below is what I imagined him looking like for this chapter :)

series intro: After a rough week, Anna decides to let loose with her friends, go out drinking and dancing, maybe even let a stranger take her home. She was starting to lose all hope when suddenly she runs into an angel -or so she thought- who actually turns out to be a tall, curly headed man with a thick accent, making her stomach twist in knots. When he asks to buy her a drink, she doesn’t hesitate to agree, how could she resist?

It was hot, and dense, like every other club I suppose, not quite suffocating, but close. Especially with the dozens of people packed in the small space, heated kisses being shared in corners and sweaty dancing happening practically everywhere you looked.

Normal for a Friday night, especially with the music fest happening only a few blocks away. After the concerts were over, the after parties seemed to always be carried here. Which, I wasn’t opposed to I guess, it happens every year, but the number of bodies increased ten fold, and this was my favorite club. 

My friends were always thrilled by it, it provided more options if one of them were feeling risky and wanted to find themselves under the sheets with a stranger, which they usually were. Matter of fact, I think I see Evelyn slipping through the front door, her arm wrapped around a burly man with dreadlocks draping down his back. I smile, she always found her a man within the hour. 

I wasn’t much of the ‘take a guy home every weekend’ kind of girl, I did it every once and a while, but frankly, I preferred to be alone.

However, tonight was not the night. 

Between being fired earlier this week, and finding out that my sister was moving across the world at the end of the month and there was nothing I could do about it, I needed a distraction, and I decided that taking a stranger to bed was the drug I needed. 

So, when I was getting ready for tonight, I went straight to the back of my closet and grabbed the tight black dress I wore only for occasions like these. 

Was it a little too revealing? Probably, but I didn’t really give a shit to be honest, I knew the kind of attention I wanted, and I also knew how to dress to get it. My friends squealed when I hopped into the cab, like they always did when I wore this dress, they know what it means. By now we had all broken off, I went to grab more drinks, and since I saw Evelyn leave, I’m guessing that Harper is probably rubbing up on some helpless soul. 

Harper is something else, always hooking up with whomever she pleases, whether its the bartender from downstairs or the girl with the shaved head and face tattoos, she can have almost anybody under her spell within minutes. 

But then there is Paige, she grew up on a farm out in Georgia, her christian mother was brought to tears when she told her she was leaving her southern life. She tends to get wild for the first hour or so, choking down a few drinks, but then she sits in the corner the rest of the night, and sips at a glass of water. Sometimes I don’t understand why she doesn’t let herself go more, but her modest dresses always stay puke free, so I guess that’s a plus, and she can take care of us in the morning when our heads our threatening to pound us out of existence. 

Bless her soul.

I’m pretty sure her parents would die on the spot if ever they found out she shared an apartment with Harper, or that we go out to drink almost every week. She enjoys the freedom, and the adrenaline of knowing her parents would drop dead if they ever found out, but even if she denies it, she actually doesn't like drinking that much. 

I should probably check on her actually. 

I step out of my place in line, the massive amount of bodies made getting drinks take ten years instead of ten seconds, and it wasn’t worth it anyways, it was getting late and I needed to pick out my target. I steady myself against the somewhat sticky railing, as my head spins a bit. I was always one the be able to hold my alcohol, but I certainly had a few more than I usually would tonight. My eyes landed on Paige, right where she always was this late at night, tucked into a corner, eyes scanning her phone, a half empty glass of water in her hands. I make my way over to her, but my phone buzzes in my purse and as I reach down to get it my body clashes into something hard, and before I know it I feel my body slam against the floor, and a weight crash on top of me. 

I blink, focusing on a pair of pale green eyes. 

My eyes grace over defined cheek bones, brown furrowed brows, a halo of dense curls bouncing around a defined face, and a pair of rosy lips, that made me subconsciously wet my own.

Then, my eyes focus back on the striking green in front of me.

I must have died, and this is an angel carrying me to my mansion of clouds, because there is no way this is real. 

But then my senses come back, the pounding of the music fills my ears, the smell of alcohol and sweat consumes my nose, and the feeling of the sticky floor under me makes me shift. 

I feel like my soul left my body.

I look around noticing how the man caught himself just before he completely crushed me, his hands on either side of my head. 

Damn his reflexes are fast, and I can’t help but heat up at the feeling of his body weighing down on me, his hips flush with my own.

“Uh...I’m so sorry” he faintly chuckles, the smell of alcohol on his breath slightly stinking my nose, his breath hot against my face from hot close we are. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, getting back on his feet in a wobbly manor, and offering a hand out to me, which I take and he pulls me to my feet. 

“Yeah...” I breath, still trying to pull myself together, “...are you?”

“Yeah...” he runs a hand through his thick curls, and looks down at his chest, “...damn” he whispers, and I notice the wet fabric of his dress shirt stained with whatever drink he was carrying, which leads me to notice the glass that is now on the ground, and the sticky substance that drenched the left side of my chest.

“Oh damn, me too” I look down at the darker fabric of my dress where the drink had spilled, “I’m so sorry” 

He gives a light hearted chuckle and looks up at where I’m helplessly trying to clean off the thick alcohol.  

“Here” he smiles, and motions his head to follow me. I take in his tall figure as I follow close behind him, and how his thick curls swayed when he would turn to look back at me, I gave him a small smile, and he would return it with a breath hitching one. 

I’m still not convinced this is actually real.

And if it is real, there is no way I’m letting him out of my grasp, he was drop dead gorgeous, even covered in sticky alcohol. He leads me back down the stairs and into the women's bathroom, to which he got several confused glances and a small laugh from me. 

He rips paper towels from off the dispenser, and puts them under the running water of the sink. He wrings them out, and I watch as the muscles in his ring clad hands flex, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man wear so many rings... it’s actually really attractive. 

“Here” he hands me a damp paper towel, “Sorry again” 

With the loud music of the club muffled behind the bathroom door, I notice his heavy accent, and butterflies can’t help but stir in my stomach.

“You from the UK?” I ask in shock of the accent that was hidden under the music. He flashes a smile, starting to wipe off his shirt, “Yeah, I’m from Cheshire” he shrugs, and I start to wipe of my shoulder where the stench of alcohol was radiating profusely.

“Huh” I reply, amused and baffled at the same time. 

“What? You never met someone from the UK before?” he questions me with a smirk, and my heart skips just a tad at the dimple that pokes into his face. 

“No, actually, and I definitely have never knocked over someone from the UK before” I say playfully, watching as he lets out a head spinning chuckle.

 “Its a first” I shrug. 

I feel him look up, a small laugh leaving his lips, and I smile when I slip down the strap of my dress, to wipe away the alcohol from my collar bone, and his whole body freezes. 

“What?” I smirk, looking up to find him jolt back into action, trying to hide his pause in motion, his eyes settling back onto his dress shirt. 

“Nothing” he shrugs, but he smirks again, and my eyes settle to where the white fabric of his shirt, due to the spill, clung to his torso, and my breath hitches at the taut muscles underneath. 

Fuck, he really is flawless.

My eyes go wide when he starts to unbutton his shirt, and my brows drop in confusion.

“Oh, you don’t mind if I take this off...do you?” He looks me straight in the eyes, and the devilish smirk that pulls up on his lips makes those butterflies in my stomach begin to take of. 

Is he teasing me?

I take a deep breath in, “Of course not”

I try not to watch as his fingers gracefully slip each button out of there holes, but I find myself struggling to keep my eyes away.Then, the door hits the tiled wall, and a husky voice echoes through the room. 

“No sex in the bathrooms, you both need to leave immediately” a built security guard looks between us, his face stern and gaze serious.

“Oh no, we aren’t...” I laugh at his hilarious assumption, but I look at how my dress strap is slipped down below my shoulder, and how his shirt is unbuttoned all the way down, exposing his toned chest and his...tattoos? 

Are those tattoos?

My eyes settle on a inked butterfly just below his chest, and flip shamelessly down to where dark leaves poke out from under his trousers, a slick black belt and the fabric of his trousers block the rest of the ink from my view. 

Oh damn.

“Sorry, we will take our business elsewhere” his accented voice interrupts, and I blush when I realize I am staring at his torso, and that he has noticed, giving me a smug grin. My teeth bite down on my lower lip as my cheeks heat up.

I pull the strap back over my shoulder, and he buttons up his shirt again, leaving several open like before, and we squeeze past the security, tossing our paper towels in the bin on the way out. 

“Who do you think snitched on us?” his voice rings in my ear, and I now notice the presence of his hand grazing my lower back. 

I giggle, “My bet is on the brown bob” I refer to a women with a short bobbed cut I noticed on our way in, “She was definitely glaring at us when we walked in” I play along, not telling him that she was the only face I even remembered from when we walked in, and he smiles.

“I agree” he replies, and he takes in a breath, his eyes momentarily glancing down to my lips, and those butterflies reappear in my tummy. 

“I’m sorry about your dress” he starts, pointing to where the strong smell of alcohol still soaked my chest, “If you’d like I’ll buy you a new one” 

My eyebrows shoot up at his offer, “Oh, don’t worry about it, it was worth nothing” 

Which was a lie, it wasn’t worth a lot, but it was still the most expensive thing in my closet.

“Well then at least let me buy you a drink” he insists, clapping his hands together, eyes scanning my face.

I try to make it look as if I’m really struggling to give him an answer, like I want to but I’m not sure if I should, even though I already knew my answer. 

“Sure” I agree, but a sudden scream catches our attention, and my eyes snap to our right where two girls are being held back by what looks like security guards, only they wore slick black suits instead of T-shirts. 

A sudden ghostly touch from his fingers on my shoulder turns my attention back towards him, “Wanna go somewhere a little quieter?” he asks scratching the back of his neck like he is suddenly uncomfortable, leaning forward just a tad. 

“Only if you tell me your name” I tease, raising my eyebrows at him in a playful manner. 

“Of course...” he covers his face with his hands like he is embarrassed, “I’m Harry” he holds out his right hand, “Excuse my manners”

“Hi Harry, I’m Anna” I shake his hand, and notice how much larger his was compared to mine. 

This man has no flaws, whatsoever.

“Pleasure to run into you, Anna...” he pauses for a moment and leans in , “...literally” 

I giggle and nudge his shoulder playfully, “Pleasure is all mine” I say back, putting a hand over my heart dramatically, to which he chuckles, and we start to walk towards the front door, his hand placed on my lower back as we weave through the crowd. 

The night air feels cold and brisk in my lungs, but it’s such a relief and I take in a deep breath, smelling the scent of rain, and cherishing the fresh oxygen. 

“Shall we?” he calls, holding out his arm for me to take, and I stumble a bit walking over to him, most likely due to the alcohol and the heels I’m in.

“Where are you taking me?” I ask playfully, but genuinely curious, and he keeps his eyes glued in front of us, but leans over, a smile on his face. 

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out” 

I scrunch my nose, pouting at him, “Fine” 

 I look ahead of us and notice both sides of the street are lined with cars, and as we continue to walk, I find that the line keeps going for several more blocks. 

Damn, I guess my favorite club just turned into a block buster.

“Here we are” he breaks the silence, reaching in his pockets to grab a set of keys, unlocking an old 1966 Mustang, my eyebrows raise.

“Nice ride” I comment, as he opens the passenger door for me, and gently shuts it, walking over to hop in the drivers side. 

“Thank you” he gives me a smile, starting up the engine, his eyes linger on mine for a moment, flashing back down to my lips before focusing on putting the car in drive, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. 

I lean towards the window, watching giddily as we pass building after building, traveling through several traffic lights before pulling off the road into a parking garage.

As we climb the levels, his old car somewhat struggling with each steep turn, my eyes land on him again, taking in his side profile.

Perfect forehead, nose, chin, neck, not to mention that sharp ass jawline he has got.

He really is perfect, isn’t he? 

 He must have noticed my gaze because he grins, that perfect dimple flashing as he glances at me from the side. 

I blush and look back out towards the window, how the hell did I get this lucky? 

We hardly speak as we step out of the car, and walk through a glass overpass that lead to the apartment building across a dark alleyway, we only exchange small smiles, his hand hardly leaving the small of my back the whole time. 

Walking through the doors of the apartment building, my jaw drops.

Between the red velvet sofas, and the gold detailing on the roof, the room looked like the inside of a palace, with painted ceilings and a small fountain in the center.

This wasn’t even the main floor.

I manage to close my lips, as he leads me towards the elevators, waving to several hotel staff workers, and giving the button number of his floor a gentle push as we step in. I was still in awe at the beauty of the place to even tear my eyes away, and even as the doors slowly shut, my eyes still wandered around the room.

Who is this guy?

When the doors did shut, I managed to let out a breathless “Whoa” from my lips, smiling up at him.

“Impressed?” he questions, and I couldn't help but pick up on the subtle gravel that laced his voice, and how it made those butterflies in my tummy reappear ten fold. 

“Definitely” I breath, crossing my hands in front of my hips, still gripping my handbag. His lips turn up in a small smile, “I’m glad”

I catch his dense green eyes again, but this time there is something flashing behind them, a shade of sparking desire perhaps? 

I hoped so.

His eyes don’t leave, and neither do mine as the moment drags on, making my tummy catch on fire as his gaze burns further into me. 

Holy shit, it was almost intimidating.

I became suddenly restless, biting the inside of my cheek, and fidgeting with my fingers, I felt like I suddenly stepped out into the desert, my body temperature rising alarmingly. 

I felt like I had a fever. 

His eyes tear away when the silver doors of the elevator glide open, and we shuffle out into the hall.

“This way” he guides, pointing to the right where a gorgeous hallway with only a few doors extended in front of us, and his hand settles back down on my back. As we walk I notice how far apart the rooms are spread out, and realize how big the apartments must be.  

We stop at the second door, and he grabs the keys from his pocket and unlocks it, swinging open the door so that I can walk in first. 

When the lights come on, I’m blown away.

Crisp walls enclose the space, a marble countered kitchen to my right opening up to a living room larger than my own apartment, with a huge TV mounted on the far wall, and dark grey sofas that surrounded a sleek glass coffee table. My heels click gently on the wooden floor as I mindlessly walk towards the floor to ceiling windows, the city stretching out like a sea of stars. 

I was entranced, the glowing white and yellow hues twinkling in the dark night.

New York never looked so alive, but at the same time, it was the most peaceful I’ve ever see the city be. You couldn’t hear the honking cars, bumping music, or loud profanities you usually couldn't get away from, just the shuffling of my heels as they hit carpet. 

The city below looked endless, with miles of soft blinking lights.

It looked heavenly.

For once it didn't seem like the dirty city it was, crime and poverty seeming to wash away under the gentle glow of apartment buildings and offices, which made a streak of hope tug at my heart, and I absentmindedly put my hand against the cool surface of the glass. 

I could feel the tears that rimmed my lashes, not falling, just letting me know they’re there, as my eyes continued to scan the scene. 

It was surreal to see the city like this, peaceful and elegant, like it was a place for angels. 

Even the red neon of the strip club down the street or the subtle blue of a raging bar seemed innocent, just another glowing light for my eyes to soak in. Just another stroke of the painting that was being etched behind my eyes. 

And for a moment I forgot I was some girl who was jobless, standing in a strangers apartment in my not so innocent black dress, looking for a distraction from life. So, I tear my eyes away from the glass, blinking back the tears that rimmed my lashes, I found his eyes looking at me with an amused smile, pouring alcohol into two glasses. 

“Tequila?” he asks, lifting his brows.

I clear my throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed at how emotional I got at the scene, “Please” 

He puts a lime wedge on the rims of the glasses and walks over to me at the windows, a small smile on his lips, but it drops and his brows furrow as he gets closer.He sets the glasses carefully on the coffee table rushing to me with concern.

“Are you okay?” he places his hands on my shoulders sliding his hands slowing down my arms in a comforting manner, his eyes flicking between my own. 

I can’t help but inhale sharply at the touch of his skin, or the warmth of his chest that was now only a few inches away. 

“Yeah...” I breath, heat flushing my cheeks at the realization of him seeing my teary eyes, “...the view” I explain vaguely, gesturing towards the windows beside us, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Oh...” he takes a moment to look out, a smile forming on his lips, “...heavenly, isn’t it?”

I nod, following his gaze back out to the open city, “Breathtaking”

“Don’t worry, I cried the first night I stayed here” his warmth leaves as he grabs the drinks from the table and hands one to me.

“You did?” I ask, shocked that he is telling me this, most guys would keep something like that like it was their darkest secret. 

“Like a baby” he adds taking a sip from his glass, and I raise my eyebrows, letting out a shocked breath.

“What? Guys can’t cry too?” he sounds offended, but the playful look on his face tells me that he is just messing around. 

“No, no, I just...most guys don’t feel like that, they feel like it makes them less of a man” I explain, taking a sip of my drink, feeling the thick liquid sting as it glides down my throat. 

“Crying is manly” he shrugs, taking another sip, and I can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Exactly!” I agree, still half laughing. 

A smile lights up his face, “So, Anna...” he lowers his voice, and a shiver falls down my spins at the sound of my name accented on his lips, and I tried to hide the feeling as it shimmers through me.

“...tell me something about yourself” his eyes glaze over with that same look from the elevator, dark and swirling, that makes me want to catch on fire as the back of his fingers ghost down my left arm, sending more chills spiking through me.

He brings his hand up to brush my hair off of my shoulder and behind my back, leaning in so that his breath is fanning over my ear, “Something no one else knows” he adds in a low whisper, before brushing a piece of hair behind my ear and leaning away, a devilish smirk of his face. 

I take a deep breath in, realizing I wasn’t breathing, and shamelessly look from his eyes down to his lips and back up again. 

“Well...” I begin, watching as he takes another sip of his drink, never breaking eye contact, “...I do this thing, when I can’t sleep, where I sneak up to the roof of my apartment building, and I try to see the stars” 

His lips tug up into a smile, and his eyes dance over me, I can tell he is intrigued by my answer, and I can see the curiosity flourish inside of him. 

“What about you, Harry from Cheshire, what do you do when you can’t sleep?” I drag out my words, my voice a notch above a whisper, and I take another sip from my drink, watching as he thinks. 

“Meditate” he smiles, and I quirk a brow at him, “I’m just kidding” he chuckles.

“I typically take a bath...” he answers confidently, “...simple but effective” he shrugs. 

I laugh quietly at his answer, taking another sip, “Maybe I’ll try that sometime” 

His eyes glance down over my body shamelessly, making my spine tingle as they travel back up to my eyes, and my heart jumps at the contact.

Inside the dense green, I can see it, all the lust and desire that is stirring up inside of him, and it makes me want to be lit on fire, heat spreads through every limb as we hold the contact, and when his fingers graze my arm, the heat of his skin mixed with the cool metal of his rings send fireworks exploding within me.  

“I like your dress by the way...” he whispers, his voice low and thick, “...fits you flawlessly” 

My breath hitches in my throat as my heart starts hammering, oh boy he is good.

I set down my drink, game on.

“Thank you...I’m still so sorry about your shirt...looks expensive” I whisper, reaching out to grab just above where the fabric folds down into the first done button, pulling gently until his body is almost touching mine. 

“I know I may never be able to make it up to you...” I look up at him, watching as he darts his tongue out to wet his bottom lip. I flatten my hands against his stomach, feeling his muscles tense under my touch, as I glide them down lower and lower until I rest them on the edge of his trousers, my fingertips slipping under the fabric just a tad, “...but I can try”

I smile when his breath hitches, and his hand grazing my elbow slides down to my hip, I slowly lean forward, and a plant a kiss in the center of his chest, where his the fabric of his shirt is not yet buttoned. 

I slowly kiss up his torso, and along his collarbone, all the way up to his jaw, which is set tight as he inhales sharply. 

I pause over the side of his face, my eyes tracing the shape of his lips as I bite my tongue, I can feel him watching, and painfully waiting for me to connect our lips, but I don’t budge, I just sit there tempting him with my breath.  

In a flash he sets his drink down, the loud clink startling me as he grabs my face and pulls it to his, the hand his drink was in wet against my skin due to setting the glass down so abruptly. His lips glide along my own, the feeling knocking the air from my lungs, and his taste explodes in my mouth as he deepens the kiss, tequila overpowering my senses. 

I tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling against the silky soft strands as he lets out a low grunt, causing a tornado of butterflies deep in my stomach. 

My fingers blindly find the buttons on his dress shirt and start to fumble with them, tearing them from their places one by one. He helps my hands slide the shirt off his body, our mouths never breaking, and I glide my hands over his torso, my stomach doing flips as I feel the taut muscles flex with every movement. 

I slip my hands under his arms to slide up and down his back, the smooth skin feeling like silk under my fingertips. 

His lips rip away from my mouth as they begin to nip and kiss along my jaw and down my neck, my lips part from the feeling of his tongue laying slick marks against the skin, as his hand smooth down my body. 

He breaks away, his breath hot against me as he begins to tug at the end of my dress, “Is this okay?” he whispers, slowly starting to pull it off. 

I nod frantically, and in an instant the dress is on the floor and his lips are back on my neck. His hands travel down to grasp my butt, and slide down the back of my thighs, signaling for me to jump, to which I jump up and wrap my legs around his waist. 

His lips refocus on mine as he starts walking, and I carelessly kiss him back as we walk down a hallway and into a room. He sets me down just before what I assume is his bed, and before he can push me back onto it, I flip around so that he falls with a surprised expression onto the soft covers, and I smirk. 

I lean down and begin to slip off my heels, and I notice his gaze never leaving me even as he sits up ans slides off his own shoes. 

He pulls me to him by the waist his large palms pressing into my hips slightly, as our lips reconnect. He slides his hands up my back, and slip his fingers under the latch of my bra. 

“Still okay?” he asks, and my heart melts at how innocent he sounds. 

I bite my lip and nod, “Yes” 

Then, his lips press in the valley of my breasts as he undoes the latch, and I gasp silently when he bites against the center of my bra and pulls it off with his teeth. 

Holy shit.

He smirks, and kisses me with a fury only pure lust could produce. As his hands grasp and palm over my body, a furious heat grows in my core, and with every heated kiss, I am more and more desperate to feel him closer. 

I lean back and with my lips tugging into a smirk, I push against his chest and he falls flat against the bed as I climb to straddle his hips.

I place open mouth kisses on his chest, over the butterfly tattoo, and glide my hands down his torso until I feel the cool leather of his belt and I start to unbuckle it when his hand stops me. 

“Wait...” he pants, “...are you sure?” he looks at me with concerned eyes, and I almost laugh at how absurd he sounds, of course I’m fucking sure.

“One hundred percent” I reply, my chest heaving as I struggle to catch my breath. He nods slightly and lets me continue. He helps me shimmy of his trousers, lifting his hips so that I could pool the fabric down to his ankles, his belt clanking when it hits the floor.

His jaw goes slack and his lips part when I palm the bulge that’s under the thin fabric of his briefs, and he starts to pant, his chest heaving. He grips my hips, his fingers slipping under the fabric on my hips as our lips collide again, a low moan rippling up from the back of his throat as my hands smooth over his hips, close to his core.

I break away, catching my breath, and taking a moment to look over his body.

Disheveled curls, perfectly parted lips, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat...down to his taut chest, sparrows rising and falling on his pecs, and the image of the ferns tattooed on his hips making my core heat up seeing them completely.

I trace my fingers over the vines and leaves, my eyes settling on his v-line as it goes down into his briefs.

He had to be an angel right? No one is build like that if they’re human.

I’ve got to be dreaming.

He sucks in a breath as my fingers graze the ink, and I look up to see his eyes traveling on my body as well.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” he says breathless, pulling his bottom lip in his mouth, and the rasp in his voice has heat pooling at my center.

I pull him back in for a desperate kiss, like his lips were oxygen and I was drowning, and he kisses back with just as must force.

In a flash he flips me around so that he is hovering over me, and I giggle into his lips.

“That’s better” his voice rumbles up from his throat, his hands hot on my hips, fingers pressing firmly into my skin as he connects his lips with my neck, leaving wet kisses down to my collar bone before pulling away to hook his fingers under the lace of my underwear, smirking up at me while he begins to pull them down my legs.

Once they are completely off he throws them over his shoulders, a devilish grin placed on his face, as his hands smooth up my shins.

He places a kiss on both my knees before starting to suck on the soft skin on the inside of my thighs, and I have to muffle a moan at the feeling.

“It’s okay love...” he whispers, his voice incredibly low, “...let me hear you”

My jaw goes slack as he starts sucking again, slightly higher up, and as the moan leaves my lips, a low groan leaves his own.

His palms push on my inner thighs, and I open them as he makes his way further and further up, and if I wasn’t totally washed away in pleasure I would have thought about the hickeys he was leaving on my skin, but I didn’t.

I couldn’t give a fuck to be honest.

I arch my back when I feel his tongue leave a slick trail just a hair’s width away from my folds, a soft whimper leaving my mouth.

“Tell me what you want” he says, voice low and lustful as he smirks at me, eyes blown out.

The throbbing in between my legs is almost painful, and I shift my hips to try and ease it, wincing when he continues to do nothing.

“You gotta tell me what you want, baby” He says and I glare at him, the heat in my core rising by the second.

“You” I breath, and he smirks even wider, “I don’t care how...God, I-I just want you”

I feel the presence of his fingers on my heat, and a moan leaves my lips. He sinks his middle digit deep into me, his cool rings making me gasp as he curls his fingers up.

“Fuck” I whisper, my eyes closed as he goes a steady pace, my head spinning, “N-need more” I gasp, and he slips in a second digit.

“N-no” I shake my head, writhing and rolling against his bed.

“No?” he questions, a smug tone to his voice and I force my eyes open to look at his.

“Not what I meant” I glare, and his smirk tells me he knows what I meant, but I can see the devil dancing in his eyes.

“Not your fingers, I need you” He bits his lip as he groans, pulling his fingers out of me to slide off his briefs, his member springing to his stomach.

“You want to feel me love, is that it?” he says low and raspy, reaching over to his bedside table to pull a shiny foil package out of the drawer.

My core is throbbing and I feel like screaming as more heat shoots through me, “Yes...need you now”

A dark chuckle rolls up from his chest as he rolls the rubber material over his hard center, sucking in a breath at the feeling.

“It’s okay, need to feel y’too” he whispers as he positions himself above me, my hips bucking and rolling, trying to ease the heat between my legs.

“Gonna have to hold still fo’ me” he says, one large palm pressing between my hips to try and limit my constant movement.

“Sorry-“ I pant, “It’s killing me” I whine, not even able to find embarrassment at how needy I am, all I could think about was the heavy throbbing at my core.

“All this for me?” he gasps as his head glides through the wetness at my center, and I moan at the feeling of finally feeling him, wrapping my legs around his hips, my heels pressing into his skin.

He sinks further and further into me, and I hadn’t realized just how big he was until now, he filled me up completely and I couldn’t help but whimper. He starts slow, pulling out and pushing back in at a painful pace, and I grab at the sheets under me.

“Faster, p-please go faster” I plead, and he sucks in a breath as he picks up speed, hitting all the right spots inside of me.

“God you’re so tight” he grunts, his eyebrows furrowed together in a mix of concentration and pleasure. He pace quickens and quickens until I’m seeing stars, the bed thudding from his thrusting.

“Feel good?” he pants, and I wonder how I’ll even get words out of my mouth with the pleasure rushing through me.

“Fucking amazing” I manage with a moan, my hands moving to grip at his shoulders, feeling myself almost to the edge.

“I-I’m-“ I gasp, but I can’t seem to speak as my head spins.

“You’re close?” he questions, stepping in for me and I nod furiously.

“Me too, fuck” he gasps, biting his lower lip, one hand landing on my hip to pull me against him harder, to the point where I ached where his fingers where, his nails digging in to my skin.

And that’s enough to send me over the edge, dirty noises leaving my lips as the coil in my belly snaps, my body shuttering around him as my vision blurs. I cuss and wrap my legs tighter around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer as he moans.

His thrusts become sloppy and broken as he cries out, his own release quickly following my own, and his head drops to the crook of my neck as he comes down from his high, body exhausted but still rolling into me. He rides out both of our orgasms, lazily sliding his hips into my own until he is almost too tired to move, but manages to slide out -causing me to gasp at the feeling- and plop down beside me.

We lay there, our bodies recovering, chests heaving and skin sticky with sweat.

When I finally regain some muscle movement I look over to him next to me, his back flat against the mattress one hand on his torso, one up by next to his head. A low fire begins to brew in my belly again at the sight of him, curls soaked with sweat, body glistening, muscles twitching and stretching as he struggles to catch his breath, lips parted and eyes shut.

I drag myself on top of him, tracing patterns on his balmy skin, “You okay?” my voice rasps, my vocal chords a bit overdone.

He swallows and smiles, “Yeah...you?”

I brush a hand through his damp hair, and he gives a satisfied hum.

“Yeah” I bite my lip, “...never felt like that before” he chuckles, and heat is already returning to my core as he opens his eyes, a lazy grin on his face.

“Me either” he admits, his hand beginning to run gently up and down my back, and I realize his rings are still on.

A shiver travels down my spine, and I bite my lip, “Think you could do it again?”

He raises his eyebrows at me, bringing his other hand to run down his face as he laughs.

“Christ! Already?” he exclaims and I blush a bit, still tracing invisible patterns on his chest.

“I made y’feel that good?” he asks, voice a bit lower, a sly grin on his face, and I give him a nod.

“Here...” I begin, “...you don’t even have to do anything, let me do the work” I say as I pick myself up from his body, ignoring my wobbly legs, and scoot down so that I am straddling him just above his hips.

“Okay...” he swallows, watching as I kiss his torso, right on top of the butterfly tattoo, laying a slick line with my tongue. His skin erupts with goosebumps and I smirk, sliding my hands down his body, placing my palms on his fern tattoos. I lay another kiss and another, until I’ve reached his belly button, and I scrape my teeth along his skin. A low groan leaves his mouth as his eyes close.

“Y’like that?” I ask, and his hands flex the sheets underneath him before he nods. I can feel his cock already hardening from behind my bum, and I lean up to suck on his neck, my teeth nipping his skin as I finish and his breath hitches. I scoot down and rub my wettening core on his length, which earns a soft whimper from both of our mouths, both of us still sensitive from our last round.

I reach between us as I glide my hands down his member, realizing he never took his condom off from previously, and giving him a slow pump as I watch his jaw slack as his length fully hardens in my hand.

“Feelin’ good yet?” I ask, and I graze my thumb over his head, a moan leaving his lips.

“Yes...keep going” he says, his chest already starting to heave again. I lift myself up, thighs shaking, and slide onto him just a tad, closing my eyes at the feeling, and I pause, my hands firm on his chest.

“K-keep going” he pleads through gritted teeth, and I don’t have it in me to tease him, my core throbbing for him. I lower myself down and I hear him suck in a breath as I completely engulf him. Then, finding it impossible to hold still, I lift myself up and back down, my lips parting at the feeling.

He was so big...and I loved it.

His hands settle on my thighs, gripping as I speed up, slowly bouncing faster and faster on top of him.

“Holy shit” he mumbles, grunting and I let out a small whimper, I was already so close.

“I’m close” I gasp, biting my lip and he nods.

Only a few more bounces and I’m shaking, throwing my head back as pleasure shoots through me, his hands now on my hips, pulling me down as he lifts his own up until he was moaning too, both of us trembling and gasping for air.

I lift off of him, and collapse beside him, opening my eyes when I hear him roll the condom off his body, and he goes to toss it away, returning to pull me under the covers and against his chest.

“You’re a minx, y’know that?” he laughs breathlessly, and I chuckle back, I was exhausted, and he was too.

“Made me feel amazing though, haven’t felt that good in a while” he whispers, a genuine tone to his voice, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “Thank you”

I furrow my eyebrows, did he just thank me?

No one has ever thanked me after having sex before, and I found it oddly heart warming.

“Let me know when you’re ready for round three” he smugly whispers and I raise my eyebrows pulling away from his chest to see the devilish smirk on his lips, he was either an angel or satan himself, and I’d be lying if I said the idea didn’t burn me up from the inside out with excitement and curiosity.

[miss-tc-nova]

The Cat’s Meow - Jumin Han x Fem!Reader Pt 14

Okay okay, I am SO sorry for the soap opera last chapter, but it was either that or write a messy divorce and I wasn’t feeling that. But the drama’s not over yet.

Part 14: Are You Afraid of Me

               The following weeks after the wedding disaster, I can’t even leave my house. There are news reporters and paparazzi literally camping outside my yard. There’s also body guards from C&R stationed around my home, which is probably the only thing from keeping the cameras out of my window. That doesn’t stop the random few who attempt to approach under the guise of delivery people. At one point, Sarah Choi and her sister pound on my door demanding my head, or something like that. It’s not like I answered the door for them. My face is all over the news and people are calling me all sorts of terrible names. Even death threats came through, which I assume is another reason the guards are here.

               For a while, only Zen is allowed into my home, based solely on the fact that he has a key. He’s the only reason I haven’t starved yet. I know he’s never liked my home due to Mako, but he puts up with it and I really appreciate it. After those initial weeks, when people begin to give up on interviews, Luciel, Yoosung, and Jaehee reenter my life. Yoosung keeps me updated on the clinic; thankfully, they’re managing to get through my absence. Eventually, I become yesterday’s news and Jaehee tells me she has to take the guards away, for which I thank her. I venture out and return to work, but for a while, work and home are the only places I go. Occasionally, someone will come in under the guise of a client but really just wants to interview me. Yoosung definitely gets his practice in on those days, dealing with the client and most of the work on the animal. It takes a lot for Corine not to cuss people out when they use their animal to try to get to me though.

               I’m reading over random news feed online when I hear my phone buzz noiselessly. It’s been two solid months since I last had a call from Jumin, and three total since the wedding incident. Fresh wounds in my heart tear open at the sight of his smiling face on the screen. Reaching over lifelessly, I press the reject button.

               Suddenly, there’s a knock on the front door. Zen’s supposed to be stopping by today. I sigh and go to answer the door. I instantly regret doing so when I come face to face with not Zen. Without a word, he takes my wrist and pulls me out the door. It slams behind me but he pulls me down the steps and to a waiting car.

               “Let go of me! Jumin! Let go!” I scream, struggling uselessly against his grip. My heart is pounding in my ears and thoughts of Dark Jumin are racing through my head. “Jumin! Let go!”

               Uncharacteristically rough, Jumin opens the car door and shoves me inside before sliding in after me. I reach for the opposite door, only to find it child locked, meaning I’m trapped in here.

               “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! This is kidnapping! Let me out!” I can’t even roll down the windows. Glaring out the window, Jumin won’t answer me. Tears build up in my eyes and I start to seriously panic inside. “Take me home right now! Jumin Han, you won’t get away with this!” The closer we get to his house, the more my words turn to begging. “Please. Let me go. I wanna go home.”

               Without a change of expression, Jumin pulls me up to his pent house. I stand in the middle of the room, trembling, with a soaking face.

               “Why are you doing this? Please. I want to go home,” I cry.

               Finally, Jumin’s stern expression breaks. “I need you to stay here.” When I sniffle, he pulls the handkerchief from his pocket and gently dabs at my face. I’m honestly afraid to resist. “Please don’t cry, my love.” My heart stammers and his words have created more tears. There’s a genuine fear in my heart that I may have just been kidnapped.

               “_____, listen to me. Elizabeth the 3rd went missing.” I peek up at him but it doesn’t really slow my crying. “There are people trying to destroy and hurt members of the RFA. I have reason to believe they kidnapped my cat and I fear that you’ll be next. You have to stay here, where I can see you, where you’re safe.”

               “No! I don’t want to be here! I’ll go somewhere else! I-I’ll go to Luciel’s! Please don’t make me stay here!”

               There’s pain across his face. “I’m trying to keep you safe, ______. Why can’t you understand that?”

               “I understand but I don’t want to be here! Aren’t you listening to me?!”

               “What did I do to make you hate me?” The words are like a slap in the face. His face holds a mix of anger and hurt. “I’m trying to protect you. The least you could do is say thank you!” I fear the anger that rises in him and shrink beneath him. His eyes drop to my arm. “I’m sorry. I must’ve handled you too roughly.” I notice the large bruise forming and pull my arm closer to my chest in a weak attempt to conceal it from him. Ignoring me, he gestures to his home. “Make yourself at home. Use anything you need or rearrange it if you prefer. If there’s anything you need, please tell the chief of security. I’ve told him to provide anything you request.” He pauses, taking me in. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Please, just stay here.”

               Without another word, he simply walks back out the door he brought me in. I run after him but the door is locked. My knees give way.

               After some time, I gather myself and call Luciel.

               “Hello?”

               I sniffle “Luciel, listen to me. I need you to go to my house and get Mako.”

               “Huh? What are you talking about? Are you okay?”

               “I don’t know. It’s Jumin. I’m trapped in his house.”

               “What?! Wh-Oh no…It’s Elizabeth isn’t it?”

               “He said something about someone might have kidnapped her but he came to my house and forced me into his car and now I’m stuck in his house.” I resist the crying again. “I-I need you to take care of Mako for a while for me, please.”

               “Okay. Just leave your fluffy friend to me. He’ll love me almost as much as he does you when you come get him.”

               “Thanks Luciel.”

               There’s a moment’s pause. “Listen, _____. There’s a very real possibility that Elly was kidnapped by some people trying to get at the RFA. And because you’re friends with all of us and you were so important to Jumin, there’s a high chance they’d come after you too. I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but Jumin’s home is probably the safest place you could be right now.”

               “But I…I don’t want to be around him right now,” I mumble.

               “I know. But you’re safe there. You know he’ll do everything in his power to keep you safe,” he tries to reason. “We’re doing everything we can to fix this, so please just be patient. We’ll get you out of there as soon as we can.”

               I have no choice but to relent. Jumin’s been irrational throughout our entire relationship, but Luciel hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him.

               “Okay,” I sigh.

               “Don’t worry, _____. Everything will be okay.” He turns on his silly demeanor. “God Seven is on the job!”

               I sniffle but feel calmer having talked to someone else. “Alright.”

               After bidding Luciel goodbye, I spend the time without Jumin going over every inch of his home that I haven’t explored before; even if Luciel says this is for my own good, I’m not about to let Jumin get another one over on me. I want a backup plan in case things go downhill. Alas, being very high off the ground with guards at the only door does not make finding escape routes easy. However, as I pass through the kitchen for the third time, I notice the knife holder full of shiny silver blades on the counter.

               No! Stop it. It will not come to that.

               And then the kidnapper returns come sunset. “I’m back. I hope you’ve been finding everything to your liking.” From my spot on the sofa, I simply glare at him. “What would you like for dinner?” No response. “You’re making being a good host very difficult,” he huffs, wandering into his bedroom.

               He makes another attempt to share dinner with me but I ignore it and he eats alone. I can tell it bothers him but there seems to be less anger and more of a wounded expression. I’m sure my stubbornness is only one on a list of several problems he has right now. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about his cat. That still doesn’t give him the right to treat me the way he did.

               Jumin sits on the other end of the couch with a heavy sigh; I scoot as far as I can to the other end. His silver eyes slight. “Would you stop acting like a victim,” he growls.

               Purely insulted at his lack of a grasp on the situation, I snap back, “And how is someone who’s been kidnapped supposed to act?!”

               His fists tighten. “What was I supposed to do? Let them come for you?! At least I’m trying to keep you safe! For all I know, my cat is dead!”

               “This wouldn’t be a problem if you just moved on!”

               “That’s rich coming from the woman who confessed she loved me after ruining my wedding!”

               “You ruined your own damn wedding! I was in support of your marriage, you ass!”

               “If you were in support of me marrying another woman, you shouldn’t have come!”

               “You personally wrote the invitation asking me to come!”

               “BECAUSE I STILL LOVED YOU!”

               Off the sofa, I round the furniture to put some distance between us. Jumin gets to his feet, clearly seething.

               “Why are you even doing this?! You confessed! Why are you still fighting when I know you love me?!”

               “I already told you; it won’t work! So just leave me alone!”

               I start for the hallway when he catches my arm. Immediately, all my defiance vanishes when I’m faced with a man who, not only has me locked in his home, but is clearly larger and stronger than I am.

               “No! For once you’re going to give me some straight answers!” the man snarls, looming over me. “Why do you have to be so frustrating when all I’ve ever wanted to do is take care of you?!” Words caught in my throat, I fumble in trying to pry his hand off me.

               Jumin has grabbed me before, on multiple occasions. As it’s always when he’s upset, it’s firm, but never painful. I’ve always known he never intended to harm me but this is entirely different. His grip is digging into my muscles and this is the first time he’s ever shaken me, sending my fear sky rocketing.

               “Answer me!”

               Fueled by terror, I lash out at him, my free hand making contact across his face. I scramble towards the kitchen the instant I’m free. Reaching across the counter, I grab a knife from the holder and point it at him. Immediately, Jumin takes a step back, a nice red mark forming on his cheek.

               “_____, put the knife down,” he says cautiously.

               “What’s wrong, Jumin?!” I snap, inching towards him. “I thought you were upset with me! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ANSWERS!”

               Holding hands up, the heir eases back with each of my steps towards him. “We’re both rational adults. Put the knife down and we can talk about this.”

               “There’s nothing rational about you when you’re angry!”

               “I’m not currently the one holding a knife,” he retorts. That short stint of bravery goes out the window when the one actually holding the knife continues to get closer. “Put it down, _____.”

               “NO! You think you get to put your hands on me whenever you want?! Grab me?! Shake me?! Pull me around?! Then you better be fuckin’ prepared for a fight!”

               “I don’t want-”

               “SHUT UP! IT’S MY TURN!” He flinches as I scream at him. “That first night we had drinks, you did the same thing! You kept me trapped here all night against my will! And since then, any time you get upset, you push me around and bully people AND I’M GETTING SICK OF IT!”

               Jumin’s back hits a wall and he freezes. His entire body presses against the wall as much as possible and all the color drains from his face.

               “YOU DO NOT CONTROL MY LIFE! YOU DO NOT PUSH ME AROUND! AND YOU SURE AS HELL DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME!” My fist clenches around the front of his shirt and I raise the knife above my head. “ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME YET?!”

               Eyes locked onto the knife and trembling, Jumin doesn’t say a word. I study him, full of anger and pain and even if I’m ashamed of myself for this, I know I’ve got my point across. The tears break through and the knife clatters to the floor.

               “Because that’s how I feel every time you’re angry…” I mutter, letting go of him.

               “Wh-What?” he stammers.

               My knees give way. Head hanging forward, I’m so sick of crying lately. In shocked silence, Jumin slides to the floor. Not a word passes between us for some time and I wonder when he’ll regain the courage to have me thrown out.

               “Do you…really feel so terrified around me?”

               Rubbing at a bleary eye, I peek up at him. He’s wearing a look of pain and that sorrow from earlier makes a reappearance.

               “When you get mad,” I mutter. His face falls into his hands and he shudders. “I love you, Jumin. But I’m afraid. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to ruin your life. And sometimes I’m afraid of you.”

               I’ve done a lot of crying over the last few months and, as a vet, I’ve seen a lot of people cry. But the last thing I ever thought I’d see is Jumin cry. I hate it. I wanted him to break and understand just exactly how I felt, but I hate this. There were other things I could have done…Zen was right.

               Crawling forward, I slip my hands around his face, making him look at me. “Before we can do anything or make any decisions, I need you to understand how I feel.”

               He barely manages a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

               Pushing my way onto his lap, I hold him against me and spill everything. The worries, the fears, weaknesses, reasoning; all of it comes out as I try desperately to explain why I’ve been afraid of acknowledging his feelings. He fully believed that I never cared about his status, but in reality, it was a key factor in me keeping my distance.

               “And I knew I should’ve stopped talking to you, stopped encouraging you, but I’m so weak for you,” I say, my fingers making another pass through his hair. “And now we’re in this mess where I can’t even get out of bed without tearing my own heart out and we’re in the news for scandals and the person I care about most is a complete mess and…And I’m so sorry.” I let my forehead fall against the top of his head, trying to keep together.

               Jumin leans back, eyes flickering over my barely composed face. To my surprise, he starts to chuckle. His warm thumb brushes across my cheek. “We’re a shipwreck, aren’t we.”

               “It’s train wreck, Jumin,” I giggle, returning the gesture. “And yes, we definitely are.”

               He heaves a sigh. “I never want you to be afraid of me. I’ll…I guess I could look into anger management? I don’t really know what to do about this but I know I want to fix it.”

               I brush his hair back. “I don’t know if it’s anger management so much as you need to trust that I can take care of myself. Just because I have a bruise doesn’t mean I’m a damsel in distress. Sometimes it just means I’m clumsy.” I nuzzle my nose against his. “Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I can scare off most guys on my own.”

               I hear the skittering and glance to see him push the knife away. “Yeah, I kind of learned that one.” We both fall to laughter. “I’ll work on it. I promise, I’ll try.”

               “Thank you.”

               “Now it’s your turn.” My brows pop. “You ignored both our feelings in an attempt to protect my career?”

               My shoulders droop. “Jumin, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel to survive while you fly out to Paris just to avoid going to dinner with your dad. I have student loans I may never be able to pay off and you buy entire islands for the RFA to go vacation on…You’d be the laughing stock of the upper class for going out with me. Besides, I heard your father; I know he doesn’t approve of me.”

               “I’m a grown man who had a cat-themed birthday party. As long as it’s for you, I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As for my father, as a womanizer, I don’t think he gets any say in whatever relationship I choose. Even if he could do anything to hold it over my head, I’d give up everything for you.” I press a fist against my mouth. “I would give up my company, my money, my life as the C&R heir to be with you. I’d grab a suitcase of clothes and move in with you right now if you want. A life with you is far more valuable than any of that.”

               I shake my head. “Jumin, you could have the pick of all the women in the world. Your assistant is beautiful, the last woman you had a crush on was like a goddess, even the snooty woman you were engaged to was pretty. So why would you pick me? They’ve got the credentials and the looks; so why would you pick me over them?”

               A hand slips into my hair, pressing my forehead to his. “First of all, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and nothing can convince me otherwise: not Serah Choi, not Assistant Kang, and not Rika, no one. And second, I’m new to this whole loving another person thing, but even I know looks and financial stability aren’t everything in a relationship.”

               “Is this where you get all cheesy and tell me how great I am?” I grumble, leaning back.

               “Hmhm. Well it was supposed to be. But I suppose we’d be here all night listing all the things I love about you. Let’s just say I love everything about you, except maybe how idiotically selfless you can be.” Hands against my face, he kneads my cheeks in an attempt to tease me. “Guess I’ll have to punish you by spoiling you nonstop.”

               “Don’t you dare!” I hiss.

               The smirk slowly fades. “I’d do anything for you, _____. Please don’t leave me again.”

               My fists clench at the fabric on his shoulders. Since I met this man, I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with him, but I’ve spent equally as long trying to protect him from the consequences of that relationship. Now he’s swept them all off the table, begging me to stay.

               “Okay.”

               Instantly, he’s got me in a crushing hug. “Thank god.”

               Giving in to everything I’ve dreamt of, I pull away so I can get at his lips. The fire ignites in my chest and I know I’ll never get enough. But Jumin quickly takes the reigns and slows my desperate attempt to make up for lost time. Each kiss is almost-torturously slow; he does so purposefully, trying to convey just what this means to him, showing me that he means every word he said earlier. The pace also gives me a chance to memorize the feel of his lips against mine; smooth with a slight chill, tempting me to taste. Within moments, every worry, fear, and even the desperation at the start of this make out is quelled to safe, fully-content, blissful love.

               Breaking this kiss, Jumin looks to me, pure joy in his eyes. “I love you.”

               I don’t know if I could ever be happier. “I love you too.”

               “Are you crying again?”

               “Shut up.”

[meritre24601]

Black, grey and white

Sounds really deep doesn’t it? It simply means good, bad and somewhat fitting into both categories. And actually it is even simpler I just need a rant. I spent too much time in the English Cheese in the trap comment sections and it really bugs me that especially starting with the Goodbye chapter Inho is seen as better than ever, practically a perfect little angel and Jung as worse than ever, the devil in person (if Inho’s the angel). So I decided to look at the good and bad qualities of both boys. I guess most if not all of their qualities fit in the grey category but I’ll try to consider what I think the most accepted opinions are among readers. Feel free to argue, to add to my lists or just simply comment, I love talking about CitT. Oh and I’ll edit, expand this post as my opinion changes and I think of new things to add to the lists. It’s not really continuous, and since it’s long I doubt people will read it, the sole purpose is to get this out of my system (and maybe start a nice discussion). I’ll also pepper it with some of my drawings I uploaded earlier to make it more fun. I try to be objective but it’s easy to guess my preferences, right? Let’s get started!

Inho’s biggest problem in my opinion is his selfishness and that he simply doesn’t understand that everything he does, including speaking (it’s closely connected to his rudeness) has its consequences. (insulting people in high school, putting down Inha’s art) It’s understandable that he is selfish as he had to look out for himself  the better part of his life and I see it as a survival method (same with his sister Inha) but it can ruin his relationships with other people (all kinds of relationships). As a result, he doesn’t really value human relationships, especially friendship or at least he says so on more occasions (for example after the dinner at Seol’s, right before the fistfight of the boys). His treatment of his old co-worker and somewhat friend also demonstrates that. Leeching off people is also part of his selfishness, not caring if the other doesn’t have more money than him. But that’s something he showed in the first half of the story. His short temper and tendency to violence gets him in trouble especially because he rarely stops to think before he acts. He gets better with  controlling his temper and does give up his pride to play piano again, although due to a push from outside. He refuses to look at things from other peoples point of view, what he sees and believes is the truth and changing his mind is really hard if not impossible (example: his belief that Jung broke his hand) He improved a lot, he’s better now at controlling his temper and sometimes sees the wrongs he did and tries to correct them (Inha). But himself, his pride is most important, always, even if he hurts others.

(Picture is webtoon Inhos opinion about his drama self. No question who wins if there is a fight. Text is by English Webtoon CitT commenter Celery)

Now Jung’s biggest problem is his manipulative behaviour, and it’s greatly disliked and frowned upon so it landed in the black zone. It’s very useful at times but it can also bring great harm. (stalking, homeless lady, unnamed kid nicknamed Chopin) Like Inho he also improved, his punishments are not as severe as earlier (Sangchul S4) But just like Inho looking out for himself, Jung uses manipulation mainly to protect himself and those he cares about. Since it’s effective I don’t think he will stop, ever, it’s a core part of him that can’t be completely changed, like Inho also stayed selfish and aggressive and rude, although better than at the beginning.

Being calculative is connected to Jung being manipulative it’s a trait that helps him with his plans and life. Likely also helps with work and helping Seol.

Another trait readers dislike is his mask of smile, he just wants to be left alone and probably has the least trouble this way. And why should he care for all the people around him, there are just too many and they don’t care either. But being rude to them doesn’t bring anything, either, so there you have it. It’s the opposite when he turns cold - that’s basically him being angry. He closes himself off so one can only guess what’s the problem. I consider that a bigger problem since it also affects his loved ones. It’s okay to cool off but if he stays a sad little clam, who can guess what caused trouble and how to correct things? I think Seol is slowly getting him to be more expressive but that also results in him being more vulnerable (S4 Ch66) and that his “bottle“ can’t hold that much - he keeps things to himself, bottling everything up but he can’t bear that as well as earlier. (S4 Ch 66 and 71) Bottling things up isn’t good, either, as he himself tells Seol, trying to  get her to share her problems with him so he could help.

He’s quick to judge people and it’s hard to change his opinion (but not impossible) Yep, the number one example is Seol’s case.

Both boys have victim mentality, thinking what is theirs is taken or them receiving undeserved damage.

Done with the blacklists, moving to the grey questionable traits (actually most traits can be both harmful and helpful)

To tell people right away what he thinks is very typical for Inho (like when he told Seol she’s way out of Jungs league, bragging that he won the fistfight) so he appears genuine and honest to readers - but his truth is often distorted, just like Jung’s and while people see it with Jung, they often overlook it with Inho,  believing his truth to be the ultimae truth. It has two sides and the real truth lies somewhere in between. Honesty is a great trait but it can cause just as much confusion and a biased view on the story. (And that drama didn’t help with that) Loud. Why did I put that there? Because some people aren’t bothered one bit by him starting to yell out of the blue while others can’t stand those kind of people. Inho is also not the smartest out there and he is aware of that. it’s not that bad but not good either. But it’s an important reason in my opinion for him not being a good match for Seol romantically even if they were in love. She is so much more intelligent and capable, I have no idea what those two would talk about if Seol doesn’t develop an interest in classic music and piano. I don’t think that would end well. Right now I don’t think he could be someone for Seol to lean on, he would get a lot from the relationship but - forgive me - he would be an additional burden for Seol. When he has built up his new life (S4 Ch76), I’m sure he’ll be a supportive, good partner to a suitable girl.

Now let’s look through Jung’s grey list. He is secretive and mistrusting, those two traits walk hand in hand, also his sensitivity. It’s good if you don’t burden others with every little thing and keep things safe but going extreme causes not only harm for others but for himself, too. I think one important cause of the misunderstanding between him and Seol was him being mistrusting and sensitive (actually Seol as well) It got worse with Seol again and again unintentionally making him appear to be weird in public. (staring at him as she observed him, snickering incident, when she talked to others right before dropping the papers that Jung kicked) That freaked him out more than anything since he doesn’t want to be the weird one his father stampled him to be ever since he was little. Sensitivity helped them to determine what kind of people they encounter but it also makes both of them judgemental.

Now let’s get to the good part. Inho is good at heart and if he cares, he really cares and tries his best to help. My favourite example is the pepper spray but he also tried to stop Younggon with his fists, although that didn’t discourage Younggon one bit but it still shows Inho cares. He is really passionate about playing the piano and is also talented.  I put him being impulsive in the list trying to capture the good half of his brutal honesty and thinking before acting. In  situations where quick acting is vital it’s very useful. Maybe I should have left it as honesty as I initially did but he caused too much harm with that (starting with Inha’s art and the unwanted nickname Dogfur) He’s a good boy but has lots of baggage.

Jung doesn’t have less baggage, just different, but that doesn’t make either him or Inho bad people. They are like most people out there with their own troubles and good qualities.

(That’s just an unfinished sketch because I wanted to draw them happy together.)

Now back to Jungs good points. He’s intelligent, he cares for Seol and tries his very best to please her (once it got through to him that she’s a good girl, not like he initially thought). I guess he could be more open, but if you leave him alone he’ll leave you alone, too.  But he does care and he is obedient and listens to what others tell him and tries to act on that. He’s still trying to be like his father wants him, he listens to Seols wishes and even if he doesn’t show it, he even considers what people he dislikes tell him. Inho is a good example, when he told Jung that Inha is potential danger to Seol or when during their fistfight he told Jung that he’s bad for Seol, in the chapter where Jung actually ran to Seol for comfort it was shown that he did think about what Inho said and it made him uncomfortable. In S4 Ch76 we hear that Seol didn’t make it into Jung’s father’s company - I take it as Jung listening to Seols request to not use his influence to get her in there. (She must have had a bad day, otherwise she would have been accepted for sure, she is such a good worker) How odd now that I have the chance I can’t think of anything more to write so that’s it and here is one last picture, simply because it’s one of my favourite moments.

[belladonnabear]

Dragon Tomura X Reader: Mine LEMON AU

Scenario: This is sort of inspired by my old headcannon Tomura Shigaraki Turns Into A Child And His S/O Has To Take Care Of Him and I briefly mentioned the reader telling him a story about how a powerful dragon took down a powerful kingdom. So this is sort of based on that idea. Enjoy!

Childhood Abuse & Neglect are mentioned! As well as sexual content! You have been warned!

~~

You were a princess of your land. However, that title did not mean much when you had two older brothers and an older sister as well. Your eldest brother Prince Hadrian was supposed to inherit the throne when your father King Ulric died. Your other brother Prince Fendrel spent most of his days training as a knight to protect your people. He was even considered to become Captain of the Royal Guard, much to your father's disapproval. And your wicked sister Princess Dimia, was set to marry Prince Cedric of Vramor.

While you've never cared much for your family, your sister was always the worst. She almost pushed you down an empty well when you wanted to read and not play with her. The last time you played with her, she pulled on your hair because you weren't letting her win when playing tag. Your brothers never even tried to stop her when your back was against the well and you almost were about to fall into it. Luckily you kicked her in the stomach and managed to run away with your book. But your sister had blabbed to your father that you kicked her because she just offered for you two to play together. Forgetting to mention how she could have almost killed you. Even when you tried to explain it to him, he dismissed you because you were the youngest. After that, you were forbidden to leave your room for the next month and had all your books taken out of your room. You thought maybe once she grew older, this phase would change. You were wrong.  

She's thrown stones at you for not talking to her, let loose a trunk full of rats into your room when you were sleeping, pushed you off your horse so you fell into the river and has hit you on several occasions when no one is looking. The worst one of all was involving Prince Asher of Thizar. You and him were courting at the time. He was polite, charming and very humorous. It was a shame that your sister didn't like that you had any amount of happiness. So she ended up flirting and seducing the man you had come to love. You had walked by your sister's bedchamber's when you heard their moans. The door was slightly cracked and you saw how she was on top of him riding him and how he kept chanting praise for her. She even managed to look over her shoulder and flashed an evil smirk at you as the two of they came together loudly.

Your heart was crumbled and torn to pieces after that. The man you thought you would marry had ended up sleeping with your very own sister. You wept in frustration and pain that day. You didn't talk to Prince Asher after that and your sister was very smug after the affair. Most of your days since then have been you sneaking out of the castle to be alone. Your father didn't care about where you were going, your brother's might as well not know that you exist and your sister would probably like to see you being eaten by a bear.

You were in the forest on the outskirts of your kingdom. Tears dripping down as you recalled why you were so upset. Your father had made a dreadful announcement this morning. You were to be Prince Asher's wife this summer. This news enraged you but your elder sister seemed delighted as she praised that her younger sister would finally have a wonderful faithful husband. You couldn't hold your tongue. You told your father that you would never marry such a dishonest and heinous man who slept with your sister. Your father didn't listen and insisted that you would marry the prince. You tried convincing your brothers to support you but if it didn't concern them, they didn't care. Your sister smiled the whole time eating her breakfast happily.

With your trusty stallion Achard you fled the palace trying to hold down your sobs as best as you could. You never felt so unwanted and alone in all of your life. Not since disease took your mother's life when you were a young girl. It felt like hours you were huddled up by the oak tree as your horse grazed on the grass. Suddenly, you heard a yelp of pain as you flinched. A gray wolf with a gash on his back leg. He was limping and whining as you slowly approached the poor creature. You did have a soft spot for animals.

"You poor thing, let me help you..." you whispered calmly while approaching the wolf.

His eyes burned as he growled at you. An idea struck you though. In your bag you grabbed a roll of bread and slowly approached the animal. It sniffed he air and seemed interested in the food. You slowly leaned down and handed it the bread. It snatched it out of your hand and began tearing away at it. While the ravenous beast ate, you wiped the blood away gently from the wound with your shawl. Then grabbed some bandages from your bag and wrapped it around the wolf to stop the bleeding.

"There you go...it shouldn't be that bad. It'll heal in a few days." you murmured.

The wolf seemed to be much better as it began standing up. Then with a sniff of its tail it took off in another direction. You sighed in relief. At least the wolf would be fine.

"Well...aren't you the charitable one?" a voice spoke.

You looked around wildly as you heard a man's voice. It sent chills down your spine. You didn't have any knights by your side since your kingdom was peaceful and you preferred being alone. So who was watching you all the way out here? And where was he?

"Look above you human..."

With trembling hands you gasped in shock at what was above you. A slim man with pale skin and wrinkled around his eyes. His lips are chapped, a small mole on the right underneath, with visible scars on his right eye and under his lip. He has messy grayish-blue hair. But what stood out to you were the grayish-blue wings on his back. They weren't shaped like a birds, they looked like ones of a dragon. A dragon that can shapeshift into a human. He looked at you in delight at your shocked expression and then dropped down from his spot on the tree. He then flapped his wings and landed down safely. His red eyes beamed as he looked at you.

"W-Who are you? W-What are you?" you inquired.

The strange man chuckled. "My name is Tomura. You might have heard my name from travelers."

You have heard of his name before. He was a powerful dragon that had many other dragons at his command. They were known as the League of Draconian and were some of the most feared dragons in the world. Their leader was Tomura.

"What do you want with me?" you questioned.

"Such an inquisitive thing. Well my dear, I'm here because I want you to be my mate." Tomura stated.

Your eyes widened as your head spun in confusion. This fierce dragon wanted you to be his mate? Why? You didn't want to upset the destructive dragon in case he decided to kill you now.

"Why did you choose me to be your mate?" you asked.

"One of my spies has infiltrated your kingdom. They described to me a beautiful princess with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes that had a strong heart and had intelligence that no one could match. I desire such a mate, even if she is human. And I can tell from your dress alone that you are in fact that princess." he replied.

It was then that he took your hand in his own. You could feel his dry skin on your own smooth skin. He brought his lips to your hand to place a soft kiss on it. Then gazed at you with such ferocious passion.

"Darling princess, I promise to make you the happiest woman in your species. I'll praise you till my dying breath. Catch you when you fall. We'll be side by side forever. I'll be faithful to you and only you for eternity. Dragons do mate for life, unlike that degenerate prince from Thizar. I won't betray or hurt you. You're my everything. And you're all mine." Tomura promised.

Your heart started beating wildly. While you knew he could be reciting a false declaration of love, his eyes showed dedication for you. Something no one since your mother, ever showed to you. If he truly wanted to eat you, he would have done so. Instead, he desired your love and loyalty. Something you also desired as well.

"I accept your proposal Tomura." you whispered.

However, he heard it and swept you into his arms so that the two of you could kiss. His lips may have been chapped but the warmth from the kiss was enough to assure you that this was the right choice.

You two pulled away as Tomura took a couple of steps back. You then saw his body change. His muscles contracts and expanded. His mouth began to shift as his eyes began to become more narrow and full of red. Achard fled as he saw the change Tomura was becoming. His wings expanded and grew as scales began surfacing on his skin. A deep snarl erupted that reminded you of an animal.

Finally, you saw Tomura as a dragon. His entire body matched his wings as crimson eyes narrowed at you. He was bigger than the oak trees you two were around. He even managed to knock one over with his long tail. Then you saw how his gigantic head lean down towards you. Carefully with his teeth, he picked you up by your dress and settled you on his back. You grasped onto one of his spines and felt your heart race tremendously when his wings unfurled.

And with one huge flap, they began to take off. You held on tightly as the adrenaline and wind kicked in. With a rather victorious roar, Tomura took off in the opposite direction of where you came from. However, you couldn't' be happier to escape your dreadful life. Now you would never have to see your sisters face ever again. You wouldn't have to hear about how your father excused her terrible behavior. Your brothers wouldn't just sit there in silence as you were left to be tormented. You now had some semblance of freedom.

~~

You now lived in the Crystal Mountains alongside Tomura and is League of Draconian. While it took sometime getting used to, you loved the life you now lived with the other dragons. It turns out the spy Tomura mentioned was your former maid Toga. She had been keeping an eye on the royal family since Tomura wanted to purge the kingdom for all its riches and used Toga as a spy to learn everything.

She kept ranting to Tomura about a nice sweet younger princess who kept to herself. That was when Tomura took an interest in you and wanted you as his mate. To which Dabi, teased him for going soft on a human.

But Tomura by no means was soft around other humans. As you and the League were around the campfire, Tomura explained what he had just done to your kingdom. He and the rest of the League had invaded your kingdom and demanded for furs, gold, food, jewelry and lavish dresses from the king. The king begged the dragon for him to take Princess Dimia instead. Your sister wept and hurled insults at your father for trying to sacrifice his own daughter to a dragon. Your brothers said nothing, much to your sisters distress. Tomura was disgusted by the king and already knew about the harsh abuse your sister put you through. So he let Toga have his fun torturing your sister. After all, the older princess was not as kind to her former maid like you were. Toga bit her with her jagged teeth, scratched her body and stepped on the fragile princess. This went on for an hour until your sister was eaten alive by the young female dragon. Your father was burned to a crisp by Tomura, he decayed into pieces.

The village was set ablaze by the dragons as they came back with many goods from your kingdom. Your brothers fled, no longer having a kingdom to rule or an army to command. You however couldn't find it in yourself to feel sorry for your father or sister’s death. They didn't deserve it. But your sister's abuse and your father’s negligence to not trying to help you, lead you to not care about the fate they suffered. Besides, you had a new family now.

Toga was a very small but energetic dragon who was also looking for a human mate as well. She was like the little sister you never had. Dabi might have had an nonchalant attitude but he wasn't uncaring like your older brothers were. He showed his ways of caring like bringing a wicker basket full of strawberries and claiming some farmer just left these and that you could have them. But you could tell he was looking out for you. Twice was looking out for you in many ways. He always wanted to make sure that you had enough room in the cave and he even taught you how to set up traps to catch animals to eat. Compress was a gentleman, despite eating meat off the brittle bone. He helped pick out some dresses that he thought would suit your complexion and skin tone. Spinner was shy but he opened up to you more. You helped him understand more about humans, since even in his human form he had green scales. So he never really got a chance to interact with them.

Tomura was a loving husband despite his dragon nature. While he did have his grumpy moods, he made accommodations to better suit your needs. Even going so far as to get you an official wedding ring to show that you were his and no one else's. He allowed you to go out of the cave but to never wander too far without someone to accompany you. He was just worried that you would get lost, hurt yourself or someone would try to take you away.

While he wasn't used to human ways, he did slowly learn about etiquette. He didn't know how to use a fork or spoon before. But thanks to you, he knew table manners to avoid looking like a slob in front of you. He even took an interest in reading alongside you. Which lead to many peaceful yet loving moments together.

One day, it was a hot summer day as you could feel the humidity rising steadily. You wanted to go out and not be trapped in the mountain all day. You slowly stretched from your bed of furs as you looked at the sparkling crystals above you. The ones that shined so beautifully like a chandelier. Beside you was your husband Tomura sleeping next to you. While you weren't married by law, being his mate made you his partner for life. So to you, he was your husband.

You brushed pieces of his hair covering his eyes and kissed his sleepy face. He slowly began to wake up stretching as well. His wings flapped a few times as they then began to pull you close to him. Tomura leaned into to give you a deep kiss as well.

"Morning princess..." he whispered.

"Good morning my love. Can we go out and find somewhere nice to swim? The weather is perfect." you requested.

Tomura slowly nodded as he leaned over the bed where the leftover strawberries were from Dabi's raid. He grabbed one and placed it near your mouth.

"Eat first."

Tomura fed you as he watched you with deep interest. He hasn't been around many humans, so he was curious to know everything about you. From your deepest fears to your little mannerisms. He took pride in being a dutiful husband to you.

The two of you then proceeded to get dressed. You wore a long white blouse with a long skirt. While Tomura wore a dark tunic to match with his breeches. He had much more regal clothes  but when he was with you, he tended to dress much more relaxed. You two walked out of your corner of the cave hand in hand. Toga was skipping about looking at the multiple dresses she owned.

"Oooh! (Nickname)! I found such a cute human boy with green hair and sparkly eyes! I'm going to try and talk to him today! Wish me luck!" she exclaimed while picking a yellow dress and leaving the area.

"So where are you two heading off?" Dabi eyed.

"We'll be out for awhile. Keep an eye around things here while we're gone." Tomura ordered.

"Sure. Just don't get too carried away lovebirds." Dabi teased.

You blushed at Dabi's remark while Tomura rolled his eyes. You two hadn't exactly have had sex yet. He's been intimate with you, ranging from heated kisses to groping your body. But never actually going all the way with it. Although, this might be a good opportunity to do so. You two would be alone and wouldn't have to worry about prying eyes.

The two of you were outside as Tomura handed you his clothes. You tried not to pry at his nude appearance but you had no such control when it came to your husband. His lean body with muscles and strong arms were a sight to behold for any woman. Though you did look away when he came to take off his pants out of some sort of modesty. That's when you saw him turn into his dragon form.

Large scales began forming around his body. His hands changed to that of talons and scaly feet. His teeth grew to the size of maple trees. His whole body extended and grew as his wings began to grow during the shift. He even had a tail that swished around to help keep his balance. Tomura suddenly bowed his head down to you. A sign that he wanted you to hop on and hold on. You gripped the horn on his head as his nostrils flared as his wings extended. Then he took off with a burst of speed.

The wind blew past you as Tomura soared up high to where the clouds were. You always loved flying with him. Even when he first took you off, you loved the feeling of flying in the air. His wings spread out as you could see the blue sky all around you. His scales were pretty too.

"You know Tomura, you're quite handsome as a human. But I do love your dragon form as well. You look quite majestic in this form!" you praised.

Tomura snorted at you but you could tell he loved your compliment deep down. You knew life as a dragon was probably tough for him when he was little. But you swore you would make up for all the compliments he should have received when he was younger.

He eventually landed down onto a patch of grass as you saw a spring with roaring water flowing down. You hopped off Tomura and placed his clothes on a tree while he shifted back to his human form. Sticking your hand down, you felt the gentle cool water under your finger tips. It made you want to take a dip more than before.

You quickly shed your clothes and hopped into the spring water. Unbothered by Tomura's piercing stare at your nude form. The water felt so relaxing to be in on this humid day. Tomura couldn't stop staring at your peaceful face. You were so beautiful to him. He couldn't believe you accepted his initial proposal. He thought he would have to kidnap you to get you to stay with him. But you stayed with him. You never tried to sneak out to leave or tried to get help. You were comfortable enough to stay with him.

It made his heart flutter in his chest. This has to be what love is. This was more than what he felt before. He was genuinely happy to be with you. In that moment, Tomura smiled brightly. He was very happy.

He dived into the water and emerged to be at your side. You stood up next to him, exposing your naked chest. He gulped as he stared at your sublime body. Not a single trace of you, did Tomura hate. He wanted to touch all of you. Claim all of you until you were undoubtedly his in everyway.

His arms wrapped around your waist slowly, as yours wrapped around his neck. Your naked bodies touching each other. You could feel Tomura's erect cock and...there was another one. After this discovery, you could just feel you were getting wet down below. And it had nothing to do with the spring water.

His wings spread out so you could only gaze at him. Like nothing else mattered in this moment, expect for him.

"Do you want me?" he asked.

"Yes." you murmured.

 "Are you mine?" he leaned forward more.

"Yes!" you agreed.

His lips slammed onto yours as you two began devouring each other's lips. Warm yet persistent kisses touched your body as you gave into the dragon. A whine escaped your throat as you felt his sharp fangs nip at your body. Hickies were planted along your neck and collarbone.

"Mine! You're mine!" he growled.

You thoroughly enjoying the calloused hands of your lover as he urgently rubbed your body, stopping to squeeze at the flesh of your waist before moving his way up to your chest. His hands rubbing your breasts as he began sucking on your left nipple. While toying with the other one. His thumb brushed against it as you let out a moan. He then moved his mouth to the other one as he began sucking on your left breast. The little whines erupting from your mouth made Tomura ache and he wanted to claim more of you.

His mouth pulled away from your chest and began latching onto your neck to suck and bite. One of his hands moved to grope your ass lovingly. His other hand began to slide down the expanse of your abdomen, palming your core. A deep sigh left your lips as he did this. Tomura's slick fingers sliding up and down your wet folds teasingly. He let out a low laugh.

"Do you want me beloved? Do you want me to touch you?"

You nodded as another moan escaped your mouth. Tomura slid a single finger inside you, moving it back and forth slowly. You began bucking your hips desperately as he moved you the rocky wall of the spring for you to lean back against. He was roughly fingering you into bliss, groaning in desire as he released his fingers from your heat. Catching your lips once again, his needy tongue ventured out to find its way into your awaiting mouth all too eager. You wrapped your legs around his waist as his wings spread out to shield you two from the world around you.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I want you Tomura!" you pleaded.

"You want me to fuck you on both of my cocks? Is this how you want me to fuck you? Are you going to be a good princess and take both at once?" Tomura questioned as he began roughly humping against your core.

"Yes! I want both of them! Please fuck me with both of them at once! I need it!"

He grinned maniacally at your screams. He slowly begin to insert the first one into your cunt. Causing your legs to wrap around his waist tightly.

"M-More!" you gasped.

Tomura loved seeing you squirm for him. To see just how desperate you were to take all of him. Meanwhile you couldn't comprehend how good he felt pressed inside you. Then he wrapped his hand around his second one and slowly began to insert the other one in as well. Causing you to shake and moan loudly. Desperately rocking against his second dick as to entice him. Which it did. In one quick thrust your grinding hips were met with his pelvic bone.

"Ah!!"

Your heated gaze met with Tomura's as you saw his lustful expression directed at you. He then began to thrust, fast, but he had returned to entering you only halfway with both cocks. The sounds coming from both of you were already pushing him not just cum inside of you right now. He wanted this to feel good for both of you. He then started pulling all the way out, then he paused, only to slam back in with a brutal force. You shrieked as he continued pounding into you. During his violent thrusting, you vaguely noted the vicious snarls and growls emanating from your husband.

"Faster! H-Ah-Harder!" you whined.

Tomura growled at his mate, his hips snapping faster than ever before. He kept jolting his hips forward and your cries of ecstasy filled the spring. His wings were flapping rapidly as he kept filling you up with both cocks. You were stretched out beyond all conceivable belief. Tomura let his feral side run wild as his massive cocks tore through your walls. Your orgasm shook you through your entire body as you called out your lover’s name. As you came on his twitching shafts, Tomura spilled his seed into your tight womb. Tomura’s seed kept spilling into you as the two of you kissed each other lovingly. 

“I’m all yours Tomura.”

[pitviperofdoom]

Fundraiser Commission #6

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “Inko x Rei Todoroki, smth cute, canon(ish) verse (OR smth in an existing fic-verse if it calls?)”

Sorry it took so long for me to finish another commission! I’m hoping to have the last three out in the next week or so.

Inko found the restaurant without much difficulty.

It wasn’t far from the bustling train station, and Izuku gave very good directions—in between repeated apologies that he couldn’t pick her up himself. Of course she understood; the life of a hero was a turbulent thing, impossible to predict. And her poor boy sounded so distraught over the phone, she couldn’t possibly be upset with him for it.

The invitation had come somewhat out of the blue: Izuku called her one evening and asked her if she wanted to join him and Shouto for dinner on Saturday, and of course she had enthusiastically agreed. Inko would have been happy to have her son and his boyfriend over for a home-cooked meal, but Izuku had been adamant.

And so it was that Inko approached the restaurant her son had chosen. She had dressed for the occasion; this particular restaurant wasn’t fancy enough to be intimidating, but it was no hole-in-the-wall izakaya, either. Enough to warrant a little decorum on her part.

She found Izuku waiting outside for her, nicely dressed if a little rumpled. The only real sign that he had just come off of a patrol was the darkening red-purple mark over his cheekbone. He was quick to come in for a hug. Inko squeezed him tight, partly to express her love and partly to make sure that he was eating enough. Satisfied, she released him.

“Shouto and his mom are inside,” her son told her. His eyes were darting about, never settling on her for more than a few seconds.

Now that was a surprise. Inko didn’t remember Izuku mentioning Shouto’s mother. “Oh dear, am I late?”

“No, don’t worry! Our table’s reserved, you’re fine.”

Sure enough, when Izuku led her to the correct table, Shouto was already waiting there with a familiar white-haired woman that Inko had only met a few times before. The former Todoroki Rei gave her a smile as she approached, and Inko found herself returning it. The last time she saw the woman smile, it had seemed a delicate thing, as if a strong breeze would whip it away. It was firmer now; it would take a bit more to shake her happiness, it seemed.

The four of them exchanged pleasantries until the server came to take their order. Izuku sat with Shouto, which did little for his fidgeting. He seemed extra chatty today, especially next to Shouto, who Inko could swear was being quieter than usual.

It was only when the waitress took their orders and left that Izuku, after watching her retreat out of hearing range, finally settled. Inko watched as his arm shifted, in such a way that she was sure to mean he was holding his boyfriend’s hand.

Izuku waited until Shouto was finished answering a question from his mother before speaking.

“S-so, um. We had a reason for inviting you out. Which I guess is sort of obvious? N-not that we’d need a reason to spend time with you, of course! But we decided we wanted to have all four of us together this time, and there’s a reason for that.”

Inko’s heart stuttered and nearly halted in her chest.

No. Could it be? She shot a glance at Shouto’s mother, and found the woman’s gray eyes nearly glowing with anticipation.

“I asked Izuku to marry me,” Shouto continued, and Izuku squeaked softly beside him.

Inko gasped. “Ohh. Oh, Izuku.”

“Isaidyes,” her son blurted out, and Inko barely had time to reach for her napkin before the tears came.

Their little get-together dissolved into sniffling and congratulations and a few motherly hugs that stretched the bounds of restaurant etiquette, but Inko couldn’t bring herself to care. Her son was marrying the man he loved. Her precious boy had never looked happier, smiling from ear to ear with a bruise from work blooming on his cheek.

When the server came with their meals, Shouto’s mother caught her eye and winked. Inko beamed when she recognized the knowing smile of a fellow mother ready to scheme.

They had a wedding to plan, after all.

---

In the end, there was plenty for them to do. Izuku took to organizing everything with his usual gusto, filling up notebooks with lists, reminders, and contact information that might have made Inko’s head spin if her son weren’t so talented at organizing everything.

A few things were set in stone. They already had an officiant chosen from among their friends, as well as a photographer and a DJ—no less than Earphone Jack herself. Other than that, the guest list was the quickest to finish: classmates, co-workers, friends and former teachers, as well as immediate family on both sides. It was to be a small, private ceremony, with only family, close friends, and trusted acquaintances invited.

Endeavor was, naturally, not on that list. As far as Inko knew, his name was not even mentioned.

(Good, she thought with no small amount of satisfaction. The last thing this wedding needed was a pair of unfriendly eyes in the audience. She had tried to ignore the media’s unwelcome comments on her son’s nuptials, but the former Flame Hero insisted on making himself and his displeasure oh so very noticeable.)

Hisashi was also never mentioned, not by Izuku nor by Inko. And why should he be? He had hardly been mentioned in passing in their household for twenty years now.

Of course, there were a few things that escaped the grooms-to-be: tiny details that made little difference, areas outside their expertise and comfort zones. Those very details were what brought the two women to Inko’s couch, to confer over catalogs while the boys visited possible venues.

“Hmm,” Inko frowned over a booklet of floral samples. “Todoroki-san, what do you think of these as table settings? Very small, but tasteful, I think.”

“Oh, those look lovely,” she agreed. “And, there’s no need for formality between us. Please, call me ‘Rei’.”

“Oh! Are you sure?” Inko knew she was blushing, because her surprise and embarrassment were overwhelming and blushing was inevitable (Izuku had to get it from somewhere, after all).

“It’s a personal preference of mine,” Rei said with a small smile. “I go by my maiden name in public, and with strangers. But I would like us to be friends, if that’s all right.”

“Oh, well, yes! Of course!” Inko tried not to stammer. “And you may call me Inko, as well.”

“Are you certain? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

“Ah, believe me,” Inko chuckled. “If I called you Rei while you called me Midoriya, it would feel off-balance. Inko is fine.” She cleared her throat. “Do you know if your son has a favorite flower? Izuku likes marigolds. Anything yellow, actually. Though he’s shown a fondness for roses, in recent years.” She paused, hoping this was delicate. “Red and white, of course.”

This drew a laugh from her new friend. “I think Shouto would rather defer to his fiance’s preferences in flowers.” After a moment of thought she added, “Truth be told, I think he’d be happy with following Izuku’s lead on everything.”

“Yes, he seemed a bit overwhelmed with all the details,” Inko mused. “Poor dear. And Izuku! I’ve heard him change his mind on things five times each. Shouto wants what Izuku wants and Izuku doesn’t know what he wants because he also wants what Shouto wants.”

“Well, that’s what we’re here for, I suppose,” said Rei, smiling again. “I have to confess, I’ve been so excited! I wanted to badly to help Fuyumi with her wedding, but that was…” Her voice trailed off, and she cleared her throat. “Anyhow, the boys should be out for another hour or so, so we may as well narrow down more of the choices they have ahead of them…”

Inko watched as the other woman flipped distractedly through the catalog pages. She knew only what Izuku had told her, which wasn’t much, but she did know that Shouto’s sister’s wedding was a hushed, hurried thing, in the midst of the Endeavor court case. Rei had still been in the hospital then, hadn’t she?

She pushed those thoughts aside. There was a reason Endeavor wasn’t welcome, several even. “I think the menu is next on their list,” Inko said, keeping her voice light and brisk. “Why don’t we look up caterers for them to choose from?” The thought brought another at its heel, and she popped her forehead. “Oh! And a baker! How could I forget—it’s no wedding without a proper cake.”

Rei looked a little relieved at the shift in topic. “Right, of course. Izuku didn’t happen to leave any notes on menus, did he?”

“You know, I believe he did—where did I put it down…?” Inko pushed aside a book of font samples and another catalog before she found the notebook that Izuku had left her. “Ah, here we are! Just a moment… yes, here’s the page!” Inko passed it over. “It looks like the cake is settled—Izuku wrote down ‘Sugarman Confections’ and circled it three times.”

“Oh yes, Sugarman!” A smile broke out over Rei’s face. “He’s on the guest list with the rest of their old classmates, isn’t he? I heard Shouto talking about that—Izuku wasn’t sure if it was right to hire him for his services when he was also a guest, but Shouto pointed out that they would be ordering from one of his bakeries and not necessarily hiring him, specifically. That seemed to alleviate the worries.”

“And Earphone Jack is handling music, I know Izuku was very insistent about that,” Inko said with a smile. “Or… rather, I think it was Earphone Jack who was insistent, and Izuku was mostly resigned to it.”

“They’re all very keen,” Rei remarked. “I think they’ll all be looking for ways to help when the day actually comes, guests or not.”

“Heroes, all of them,” Inko sighed, and her mood promptly flipped over on its head.

She couldn’t be sure what caused it. Maybe nothing; it was always so frustrating when these things came out of nowhere, especially in front of someone who didn’t know her well and might mistake it for something else. But at that precise moment, sitting on her battered old couch surrounded by evidence of frantic wedding planning, Inko was overtaken by another flood of tears.

“Oh! Oh, dear…” And now she was embarrassed again, weeping as she searched about for a box of tissues and found none within reach. It was far too late to try to turn back the tears or try to hide them. She was crying, and that was all there was to it. “I-I’m terribly so-orry, I don’t know… what came over me…” A soft bit of cloth was pressed into her hand—a handkerchief?—and Inko jammed it into her eyes, partly to stem the flow and mostly to avoid looking at whatever expression Rei was wearing at the moment.

“How embarrassing!” she exclaimed, once she could speak again without her voice wobbling too severely to be understood. “Forgive me, Rei-san, I haven’t any idea what’s wrong with me—” She tried to swallow another sob, and was only partially successful.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Rei said gently, as she took back the sopping-wet handkerchief and replaced it with a fresh one. “What’s a wedding without panicking and tears?”

Inko choked on a laugh. She couldn’t laugh now, or it would come out in undignified squeaks. As it was, it took her a few tries to compose herself fully. “It’s not panic, don’t worry,” she said, wiping her eyes for the umpteenth time. “I’m just… overwhelmed. It’s all so much—and it’s not as if it’s come out of nowhere, but… sometimes I just look around, and that’s all it takes.”

Rei watched her carefully, neither interrupting nor answering, even to ask for her handkerchief back.

“It’s just, for the longest time it was only the two of us, you know?” Inko went on, still mopping at her cheeks, though it was more for restless energy than necessity. “Izuku and I… it’s just been the two of us and the rest of the world, for years, and then… and now…” She coughed. “I’m sorry, I must not be making any sense.”

“Take your time,” Rei assured her.

Inko did so, allowing herself a few more deep breaths before speaking again. “He was so lonely before,” she whispered hoarsely. “I did my best, but it never felt like enough—with Hisashi gone, and all his peers… I knew that he was lonely, and there were so many times that I could see he wasn’t happy, but I just didn’t know what to do, and then… and then he turned fifteen, and everything changed. And now he’s—now we’re here, and he’s found someone, he’s found so many people and they love him and he’s getting married and he’s never going to be alone again.” It all left her in a rush, thankfully with only a few more tears slipping free.

Rei was silent for a while. Her hand rested on the couch cushion between them, not reaching but offering. “It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it,” she said quietly. “Seeing him so bright. Happy.” Inko looked over just in time to see the other woman’s throat bob. “After being afraid that… that he lost his chance at happiness forever, because of something you did. Or didn’t do.”

“Oh, Rei…” Inko’s heart gave a painful twist.

“You’re right,” Rei went on, smiling softly at nothing in particular. “He’s the one who did all the finding. He found my Shouto’s smile, for one. I still wish I knew how to thank him for that. But I suppose helping plan his wedding is a step in the right direction.”

Inko couldn’t think of the words to answer her—and who knew if she could speak without crying all over again even if she could—so she simply clasped the offered hand warmly.

By the time their sons returned, the two women were cooing over flower arrangements, with not a single tear, tissue, or handkerchief in sight.

---

There were no seating sections, nor was there a need for them. The aisle was a necessity, but ultimately meant nothing. The two grooms shared friends, and the point of this ceremony was to come away sharing family, so what was the point of dividing them at the start?

In the front row, Inko wept unashamedly. Beside her, Rei clasped her hand and let loose a few joyful tears of her own.

[purplesurveys]

868

Favorite beverage: Just your good ol’ cold water. If I wanna treat myself I’ll get milk tea. When was the last time you had ketchup? Ooh I don’t remember...it would probably be 3-4 weeks ago. Or whenever the last time we had lumpia was, because I like drowning that shit in ketchup. Have you ever had a red hotdog? Yeah frozen hotdogs is a favorite snack here and they’re usually red. We usually have them for breakfast, it’s served in parties, it’s in every school caf, etc. What is the most recent gift you've been given? So my uncle has his budding cooking business and sells different dishes everyday. His most recent bestseller is burnt basque cheesecake and while I’ve always wanted my own because it looks SO good, I just haven’t had the money to allot for it. I was really surprised when my grandma called me up today and told me she had ordered an entire cake for me as a graduation gift :) I asked my dad to pick it up from her place this afternoon and it’s crazy delicious.

Is what you're wearing comfortable? Yeup, now that it’s cooler. I sweated through my top when it was hot earlier though, and that wasn’t a comfortable situation at. all.

Did you leave the house today? Nah. I did step out to help my dad with the groceries, but that was it for today’s adventure. Are there bumper stickers on your car? No. If I wanna put stickers on my car I would rather have them on my rear window, and not directly on my car. Are you watching tv right now? What? The dining room TV is turned on but I’m not watching; my dad likes to have it on to listen to the evening news while he cooks dinner. Are you wearing anything blue? Nope, it’s all black for me today. Do you have a job? Not yet. Is your car messy? No. There’s really no reason for it to be, I’ve only driven out once since March. When did you last have whipped cream? I...can’t recall, actually. We don’t have whipped cream at home and I don’t think I ever ordered anything with whipped cream on it shortly before lockdown. How far away is the closest house? 10-20 steps away, depending on how big your stride is. What street do you live on? I’m not dropping that on here. The most I’ll tell you is that our streets are named after tropical cities, haha.

What is your favorite flavor of smoothie? Used to not like smoothies 100% because of the presence of fruits in them, but thanks to my friends Apple and Ed introducing me to Go Salads I’ve come to really like their Breakfast Smoothie – which, after looking up their menu just now, has apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk. Are you dating anyone? Yes ma’am. What color is you computer? Silver. Do you own an iPod? What color is it? Technically I still do but only because I haven’t thrown it out. It’s a blue iPod Nano. What is the most recent picture on your phone/camera of: A photo of the aforementioned burnt basque cheesecake. I was planning to post a Facebook status to promote my tito’s business and show my support, so I asked my sister to take a few aesthetic shots of the cake for my post to look presentable. Have you ever shot a gun? No. I’ve shot a fake one that belonged to Athenna’s dad, which he used for like target practice or something. What temperature is it? 31C.

Do you know anyone with a third nipple? No but Harry Styles has four, HAHAHA. There’s your random fact for the day. What do your parents do for a living? My dad’s an executive sous chef and my mom’s a secretary in her specific department in the hotel she works in. Both have always been in the hotel and restaurant industry. Have you ever had a pet that had babies? No. We’ve avoided female dogs because we know we’re not capable of caring for newborn puppies, so instead of potentially being reckless owners we’ve just not had female pets altogether. Which grocery store is closest to you? A local mall chain that has their own grocery, SM. Do you have a hamper in your room? Nah, my parents prefer a general hamper in the bathroom. Do you know anyone that's a nurse? Yes, I have several aunts and as far as I know, one cousin :) I feel really bad for them especially in these times, but they’re such strong people and they just keep powering through and powering through. Do you know someone with the name Alaina? Not that I can recall. What color is the blanket on your bed? Off-white. What are your parent's middle names? No thank you. Have you ever broken a bone? Never. Do you wear braces or glasses? I wore braces in high school, and I’ve had glasses since Grade 5. What color are they? I picked a different color for my braces for every monthly visit cause it made me feel quirkly; my glasses’ frame is dark brown. Are you currently reading a book? Not currently, no. When did you last get your blood drawn? Ughhhhh, cringed reading this haha. Last May when I needed to get a blood test done. Have you ever done hard drugs? Nopes. How many contacts are in your phone? I just know I have a lot, but Apple doesn’t tell you exactly how many and I don’t feel like counting all of them right now. Does your toilet have a seat cover? It has a lid cover, but not a seat cover. What's currently on your grocery list? My dad did the groceries today so we’re pretty stocked rn. What things do you take with you everywhere? My glasses, car and house keys, phone, wallet. Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? Gab’s great-grandma was like 106 or 107 by the time she passed. Was your HS principal a girl or a boy? Girl. I went to an all-girls school so it would honestly be a little peculiar if we had a male principal. Have you ever eaten a raw egg? Nah. I wanna try it out though, just for funsies. Do you own any rings? Gab got me this cheap ring for the shits and giggles, but I stopped wearing it when it started turning pink and smelling weird. So no.

If you were to get a new puppy what would you name her? We did get a new puppy! ;) But should we get another, the name will depend on the puppy’s attitude and overall vibe. That’s what we did with Cooper, who was named after Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory because he had been a smartass from the very first minute we played with him. Have you eaten fruit today? No. What about milk? Even more nope haha. I can’t have it all the time. What letter does your state start with? We don’t have states. My province starts with the letter R. Could you list all 50 states? I’ve listed them down on countlesssssss occasions but I always only come up with 35-45 states. I’ve observed that the ones I always forget about are the states in the middle of the map/country-ish states hahaha. What about their capitals? I know a good number of the states’ capitals, but I’ll still undoubtedly do worse. What internet browser do you use? I’ve been on Chrome for the longest time. Do you know anyone that lives in Wyoming? I don’t think so. Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes, starting this year lol. Which person you know has the most unique name? I’m sure I know more unique ones out there but the first names that came to mind are friends of mine named Bernadean, Jeuel (pronounced Jay-well), and Jabes. Oh and I also have an aunt named Marheedoll. Do you know someone that's missing a limb? I don’t think so, no. Do you have facial hair? I do not. Are you a bad person? Not when it comes down to it. I have my petty moments though. What was the last swear you said? I almost yelled the word puta in front of my dad earlier, but I slurred the word and made random noises to avoid saying the full thing haha so it kinda went like puuuuutehshahjskhf. Have you ever called the police on someone? No. What is the most amount of pets you've had at one time? Three – one dog and two birds. When did you last check your email? Last night. I wanted to check if I received any email from the college. Have you ever had a 3rd degree burn? Nope and that sounds so painful, I never want to sustain one. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I haven’t. How long is your hair? Right now it reaches only my collarbones. I had it cut fairly recently, so it’s still on the shorter side. Do you lock your doors at night? The doors on the first floor. Does your bedroom have a lock? It does but my mom is such a big sissy about locks and says that “there’s nothing to hide/be private about” since we’re all relatives. She really shouldn’t have gotten a lock for my room if I wasn’t allowed to use it anyway... What do you have at your bedside? I have a rattan trunk that stores all my childhood knickknacks like board games and encyclopedias; then on the other side is a drawer with my home clothes and other knickknacks on the lower drawers. I got some hoarding tendencies from my grandma, so a lot of the stuff I keep in the drawer really has no reason behind my keeping them until today. How big is your bed? Not big at all, it’s just twin-sized. I am so investing on a big-ass bed when I have my own place. Do you know someone that was murdered? I didn’t know her personally but an alumna from my old school got stabbed to death. I don’t know the details but I think she got stabbed because she had gadgets on her, which makes you an easy target for criminals here. The only reason I know her is because my school would do tributes for her from time to time, so I really can’t tell you anything more other than she was stabbed. Do you know someone who's pregnant? I don’t think so. Do you wear a watch? Used to, but I kept losing them. What was your first pet? A pair of goldfish. How much jewelry do you own? Not a lot. The ones I do wear are technically my mom’s too; she just likes sharing them with me. What is the closest purple thing? Probably the ube halaya in the fridge. Green? A piece of Cooper’s toy. What time is it? It isssss 8:43 PM. What is your ideal profession? Lawyer. How tall are you? A little over 5 feet. Have you ever gotten x-rays? Probably once when I was a kid, then around two or three times before I started college. Do you wear gloves in the winter? I imagine I would but we don’t get winter. Do you consider yourself smart? Academic-wise, yep. I’m good at tests and memorizing and I generally enjoy reading educational content. Are you good at algebra? Yeah but I wanna keep it at algebra and geometry lol, I don’t have the patience for calculus and trig. What color eyes are the prettiest? I’ve always loved green/olive green eyes. Are your teeth straight? One of my front teeth protrudes a bit, but that’s all my fault because I lost my retainers back when I still had to use them. My teeth are otherwise fine. Do you like chocolate milk? LOVE IT Do you own a bike? We own a family bike and I’m free to use it, I just don’t because I don’t know how lmao Are you taller than your mom? No. I thought I’d grow taller than her because I had an intense growth spurt at one point, but it never happened. Have you ever been engaged? No. What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? I’m not a fan of names that end in -leigh, but I don’t think they’re ugly names.

[justxhistoricalxstories]

The Concubine & Ivar & Ubbe

Author’s Note - I haven’t posted anything like this in several years but @walkxthexmoon issued an interesting little challenge and I decided to give it a try. I hope you enjoy it. I had to give her a name because I just don’t write in that first person style of most imagines. So this is more of a Vignette of Ivar getting a redo on his first time. I hope you enjoy it!

Vignette below the cut. 

“No.” Ivar��s refusal was sharp and unwavering but he looked away as Ubbe bent to meet his eyes. He loathed his brother’s perceptive manner. His older brother had seen him looking and he hated himself for revealing a desire he could not fulfil. Bjorn’s great voyage. He had heard of it all of his life. Bjorn had stolen the map during the raid of Paris and so his obsession had bloomed. He wanted to see it for himself. By the time the ships were prepared and the journey could be undertaken, the younger brothers had become men so Hvitserk, Harald and Halfdan as well as many others had travelled to this great sea and seen it for themselves.

Upon their return, they brought many treasures with them. Art, gold, silver, fabric that enchanted the women of Kattegat and them. Not slaves for they called themselves something else. Apparently great men of their land kept women together, secluded away, called a Harem. The women of the Harem were concubines. Hvitserk had made a favourite of a small and delicate creature with eyes so green they almost seemed to glow. But she did not have much interest for Ivar, nor Ubbe. It was the other - Amina was her name and Ivar hated himself for committing it to memory. Amina walked through the streets of Kattegat as if she had lived her all of her days, even though her dress and face indicated her origins were far from this place. Ivar found her fascinating and would watch the way her hands moved as she spoke, like little birds fluttering.

Ubbe was quiet for a moment, letting his brother’s temper calm before proceeding, “I will stay this time. I will help.” Ivar’s gaze slashed over him and if he had a weapon at hand, Ubbe would be bleeding right now. “It does not work.” Ivar stated through gritted teeth, hating his brother for making him say these words aloud, as if giving them voice would damn him. The night with Margarethe was lesson enough and not one he cared to repeat, even if he did, on occasion, feel a stirring, a tension, there, he knew that it would not work. Not when it needed to as least.

Leaning in, a bold move considering his brother’s clear anger, Ubbe cupped his brother’s face and met his eyes. “She knows things … they are trained, not like our women. She could … I think … get it to work. It is worth it … to try … I want that for you, my brother. Come … we will tell no one. Just us. She told me they are trained never to speak of what happens in their lord’s bedchamber … so she will never, would never.”

Ivar’s words were a sneer, “I will think about it.” It was the most he would concede but in that concession, Ubbe knew he had won this particular battle. Now for the rest. When he noted Ivar’s interest, the first he had shown since that bad bit of play with Margarethe, Ubbe knew he had to remedy the situation. Margarethe was young and foolish, not trained at all. Just a slavegirl whose beauty had landed her in many beds, including Ubbe’s.

Amina though, was another matter. From what she had shared with him, she had been raised with the expectation of being in a Harem. The young concubine had been raised by her mother, sisters, aunts and grandmothers instructing her how to please and care for the needs of a man, since they weren’t given households to run and were rarely permitted to raise their sons much past infancy. Daughters stayed with them. Sometimes. Amina’s embroidery skills has made her quite popular, unexpectedly, among the local women of Kattegat. She had asked Ubbe to help her find a warrior who would not mind a second wife or a concubine to keep of his own. Then, for the first time, she would have the protection that she needed and be permitted to have friends and a family of her own. This was the price she was going to pay to get that assistance - she was going to help his brother and for this, Ubbe knew, she would need all the lessons of her youth.

Amina was looking forward to this night. She had almost laughed as Ubbe laid out the condition for his assistance in finding herself a better situation. She had no intention of dying a rough death as a mere household slave. She needed a proper home and would actually prefer if there was another woman in the household as well. She enjoyed serving women as much as she enjoyed serving men. She had seen the youngest brother of course. You couldn’t miss him and frankly, she didn’t blame him for his anger but she had to admire his strength. She thought the other slave had been quite ridiculous in her treatment of him. With a careful hand, a woman could rule through a man like that. Not that she had such aspirations this night. No, the other one had spoiled any chance of that she suspected and Amina was not going to waste time on a lost cause.

Taking a deep breath, she smoothed her hands over her underdress, a richly embroidered garment that she had brought with her on the journey. She had soft curves that had thinned only a little during her time in this chilly northern place. She pulled on her robe and covered her hair, a habit she could not break, even though many of the others had done so. In the darkness of the early evening she walked to the residence set back from the others and stepped inside, taking off her small shoes as she came through the door.  Bending low, she curtsied to Ubbe respectfully and then glanced around for the other. Then she heard him, stepping back from the door, she held it until he entered before shutting it firmly behind him and pulling down the latch to hold it in place. Amina took a breath and settled into her role. In this moment she must be servant and temptress. She must guide without offending two strong princes. The challenge of it made her skin tingle in anticipation and made her core feel heavy and warm before they had even truly begun. Moving around the two men, she noted in pleasure the rich pile of furs before the crackling fire. Precisely as she asked Ubbe to prepare.

Setting down the small bundle she carried, Amina lifted her hand and drew off the veil, letting her scarf flutter down until it landed before Ivar. Shaking out her long dark hair, it spilled down to her waist in a rich wave and with pleasure she noted the lust in the gaze of both men. Good. This was beginning well. Slowly she peeled off the overdress and hung it neatly, making a point of turning her body in a graceful arc. In the firelight, you could see the hint of her body through the thin fabric of her underdress but it was the sparkle of the delicate strands of gold in the embroidery thread that tended to catch the eye. She knelt, her skirt pooling around her as she did so. The furs were soft under her knees and that was a relief. She did not want physical discomfort to be anything less than intentional tonight.  “Will my princes join me?” she invited, careful to keep her tone warm but not overly suggestive. It was a fine line to ensure she did not offend the younger of the two princes.

This was a mistake. He had been telling himself that refrain since Ubbe invited him to this night. A mistake. A mistake. A mistake. He did not wish to repeat earlier humiliations. He almost turned around many times on his journey. But he also could not and would not view himself as a coward and there had been a kind of challenge in Ubbe’s invitation. But if he were wholly honest with himself, he wanted to touch her. Even if just for a moment, even if her gaze was turned away to conceal her horror. He still ached to touch her. As he arrived, Ubbe and the concubine were already there. He had been about to speak, to protest, to call off the night’s plan when she moved. The fall of her hair took his breath away. He had never seen her with her hair down and uncovered. He should go. This was a mistake. Instead, at her invitation, he moved toward her, turning to sit upright, facing her, but his gaze flicked uncertainly to Ubbe.

Ubbe felt a rush, a thrill that Ivar even came. Either way, he didn’t feel he could lose. If this night went well, this crushing weight would be relieved from his brother, and if it did not, it would never be spoken of again. But seeing his brother’s reaction to her simple movements, his good feeling increased. He moved toward his brother at the flashing look and came to kneel beside him but no closer to Amina. He didn’t want to take over this night, besides, it seemed like Amina had a plan. She certainly knew how to show herself off to advantage.

Amina smiled, almost demurely, as the two males joined her on the arrangement of plush furs. The fire crackled merrily, casting warm light throughout the small home. It was a fresh and clean space. No animals but minimal furnishings as well. There was large bed but the concubine ignored that for now. Reaching forward, she claimed one of Ivar’s hands, placing it on her lap, palm turned upward to her. Unlacing the glove he wore, she peeled it off slowly and then traced the pad of her thumb over his palm, circling lightly. “Such strength my prince possesses.” She murmured quietly as she reached for a small vial of oil made from the eucalyptus plant that grew in her home gardens. She began to massage his hand, along each finger and down his palm to his wrist, her fingers and thumbs rotating over the calloused and coarse skin.

Ubbe did not expect to get turned on watching what really wasn’t that erotic, was it? She was just sitting there, a cloud of dark hair around her and looking as sparkly as a jewel they would steal if on a raid, as she massaged his brother’s hand and forearm. He felt a ribbon of … was that jealousy? That felt strange. Had he ever been truly envious of Ivar? No. Not until this moment.

Ivar wanted to purr. He found his other hand inching closer as if wanting to claim some of her attention. Who knew anything so simple could feel this good? As if picking up on his hint, she claimed his other hand and began to repeat the process, massaging up to his forearm with slow movements. His gaze flicked to Ubbe and saw the envy within and for once he did not gloat over it. Perhaps the awe was too strong. Finally she settled both hands onto her lap and closed her own hands over them, holding him against her.

Amina blinked large dark eyes and turned her head to meet Ubbe’s bright blue gaze and smiled slowly, eyes dropping and then flashing up to look at him from between her lashes. “Alas my prince Ubbe …. Ivar and I have too much oil on our hands, would you be so gracious as to unlace my dress? Please.” She asked as if begging a great favour from the man.

Ubbe had to force himself to not just leap on her and tear off the dress. He began to work over the laces, slow and steady until the dress gaped open, spilling off her shoulders to reveal the full curve of her breasts. Ubbe was unable to resist, sliding his hands under her arms to come up and cup the full, soft orbs. Amina sighed as if he has just caused her great pleasure. Leaning forward, the concubine pressed a kiss to Ivar’s lips. Just a gentle brush at first but she slowly deepened it, taking her time, testing him, teasing him, until he was bold enough to cup a hand over the back of her head and pull her forward into a heated kiss. She fell into this kiss as if she longed to be nowhere else. She tasted Ivar, refusing to let his youth and inexperience make it sloppy and too rough. She teased and tantalized, guiding the kiss until it grew both sweet and passionate. Amina broke it slowly before turning her head to press a kiss to Ubbe’s jaw. Her hands closed over his, guiding his fingertips to tease her nipples in the way that brought her pleasure. “Ah …. My princes…” she murmured with a warm look at the youngest, letting him see her enjoyment.

Ivar sank into those sweet kisses with the overeager manner of a boy who had little enough experience at such things. Following her guidance was unintentional. Still, he amended his technique to please her, to make her sigh.  “I would like to touch you more, my prince Ivar … will you remove your shirt for me?” she asked quietly as she toyed with a fold of soft linen between two slender fingers. Turning her hand, she brushed the edge of her thumb against Ivar’s chest in the now parted fabric. His soft gasp and intake of air was very satisfying and Amina had to utilize her considerable training not to be a little smug about the young prince’s reactions to her touches. Of course, her focus would be better if Ubbe wasn’t doing such a good job playing with her breasts and peaked nipples. Curses on the man.

As Ivar pulled off his shirt, she sat back and watched with appreciation, letting her back brush against Ubbe’s clothed chest. She traced her hands over Ubbe’s forearm and up to the back of his large hands but her gaze was on Ivar. She had to admit she was a little impressed how well built he was. She always preferred a man who looked strong. Reaching for the bottle of oil again. “If it would please my prince … I would like for you to roll over.” Ivar wasn’t sure what she was doing so he stretched out on the furs and glanced up uncertain. His gaze flicked to Ubbe’s who shrugged in response to the unspoken question in his brother’s eyes.

Teasingly shifting away from Ubbe, she turned her head to brush her lips over that prince’s mouth before turning to straddle Ivar’s body such that her bare sex would brush against his lower back when he shifted. Her dress, now down to her waist, pooled around her. Reaching for the oil, she dabbed it on Ivar’s upper shoulders and then began to work it in. The leisurely massage worked from the nape of Ivar’s neck to the curve of his lower back below the folds of her sex.

Ivar wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore but he could feel the blood rushing in his ears. Most astonishing was the hardness pressing down into the warm blankets and furs below them. She hadn’t done anything yet and was he truly ….. Was he hard? He didn’t know for sure but every movement of his body reminded him of her hot core, brushing against him. He wanted to whimper. He wanted to whine. He wanted to demand. Yet, he didn’t want to ruin this moment, as if by being himself he could ruin it all. 

Ubbe moved around the other pair in discrete movements, designed to amplify the intimacy of it. He slowly peeled off Amina’s underdress until the beautiful spill of fabric was tossed to lie haphazardly over a low trunk, containing what he could not recall. His own clothes were peeled away quietly before he stretched out next to his brother, meeting that fiery gaze with his own more placid eyes.

Amina was enjoying herself even more than she thought she would. It was a fun game to play and she liked the line of Ivar’s back, the strength in the bunched muscles and the old scars, sparking her interest in tales of origin even if she recognized now was not the time. “Turn over my prince.” Amina teased with a soft kiss to the nape of Ivar’s neck.

Ivar hesitated for a moment. How long had it been? Had it even been an hour yet? Perhaps. The touching seemed to last forever and yet mere seconds. He was losing track. He glanced at his brother and then nodded, rolling over slowly. Then he saw she was completely nude and his heart slammed to a stop and roared to life again. His hands sealed themselves over her hips, a bruising hold. She smiled at the touch, stroking the back of each hand gently to get him to loosen his grip. She didn’t move his hands however, letting them fall away naturally as she began to work her fingertip magic over his chest. His hand curled over one of her thighs, his thumb tracking circles over the warm skin.

Ubbe moved again, sitting up slowly and shifting until he was straddling Ivar behind Amina. His cock brushed against the ample curve of her ass even as her sex brushed against Ivar’s lower abdomen. Looking down he was surprised to see a small bottle appear in hand and he looked at Amina for a moment, meeting her gaze. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the effort of massaging Ivar and given the mess she was leaving on Ivar, her own desire as well. She smiled at him. “If I am to have both of you, that will help you fit.” She murmured as she nodded toward the small bottle. “That is… should you choose to be kind to me and honour me with your cock this night.”

Ivar growled as she spoke to Ubbe, wanting to refocus her attention on him. Amina heard the growl and laughed, genuinely, for the first time in many months. Leaning over the younger prince, she dusted a kiss over his lips, tasting him again and again, as she flicked her tongue between his lips, unable to resist teasing him, just a little. “My beautiful greedy prince.” She then gasped as she felt Ubbe move behind her. She somehow didn’t think he would move so quickly but she had no cause to object. Meeting Ivar’s eyes, she let him see the pleasure rolling through her as Ubbe staked his own claim on her night’s attention. Whimpering just a little, she reached between Ivar’s thighs and felt that rigid shaft. It was as she expected. She nudged down his breeches, withdrawing its thick heat as Ubbe filling her slowly. She was nearly panting as she stroked Ivar’s cock and guided it to her core, pressing the thick head against her sex. Ivar grew rigid and uncertain as Amina touched him but then her breasts brushed against his chest and he was distracted again. He kissed her again, cupping her head as he did so.

Amina allowed the two males to reclaim the direction of the night’s events but she had her hand on Ivar’s cock and she could feel the pulsing heat of it. She barely had to use any of the tricks she had prepared. It seemed Ivar only needed a period of building and some play before the sex. He was a comfortable length and girth but Ubbe in her back passage made it extra tight. Ivar didn’t seem to be objecting as he moaned under her. Finally when they were both seated as far as she could take, she laid her head on Ivar’s chest for a moment and let herself enjoy that blissful sensation of fullness, of claim. She had felt so cold and lonely and this felt just right once again.

Ivar’s hand carded through her hair before tipping her head up to claim her mouth in a long, slow kiss. Gratitude. She knew what this was. Smiling she took one of his hands and pressed a calloused fingertip to her bundle of nerves, that sweet spot. “Please, my prince Ivar?” she begged just a little before moving her hand away. Ivar flushed, ruddy and hot at the words. Was she really asking him? He started to stroke and the rub in slow circles as she writhed and moaned, hips moving as she rode both men.

Ubbe’s hands found their way to her breasts again as he was driven to a completion by the concubine. He didn’t have to move, locking his frame still and effectively doing the same to Ivar. Instead she rode them, squeezing, working them, slick hands caressing down Ivar’s chest and along the length of Ubbe’s thigh. The little birds of her small hands seemed uncertain as they moved and fluttered as Amina rode them both. Ivar applied a light pinch to that cluster of nerve-endings and Amina nearly screamed out her pleasure. She hadn’t expected that! Damn boy learned too quickly, she thought, as she realized that she would be harshly punished for daring to go first. At least she would have at home. But as her eyes finally opened again, the look on Ivar’s face made her disobedience worth it. He had pleased her! And it glowed across him. He had satisfied a woman.

Losing control as Amina’s body rippled and tightened around him, Ubbe shifted in his rhythm, jerking hard into her tight body, pulling out to spill over the curve of her ass and down her thighs. “Naughty prince.” She sighed out, leaning back against Ubbe as she looked down at the prince whose cock was still buried in her sex. There was a determined expression on his face and she was astonished to realize that he was determined to pull another rush of pleasure out of her. The brat! “My prince Ivar.” she whimpered as she rode him faster now. However, Ivar was a quick study and he knew her weaknesses. Wrapping his hand around her waist, he pulled himself up enough to claim one sensitive nipple and suck on it as his other hand continued to work over her pleasure centre. Usually first-timers finished before she barely put her hands on them but ohhh… not this one apparently.

Amina screamed as she came apart again, held up by the two men and their firm hands and muscular bodies, pinning her into place as Ivar finally spilled. His shout joined hers for a second before they all tumbled to the furs, a spill of limbs and ragged breathing. She was about to accuse them of inventing a tale to get her into this position as she braced herself up on one elbow. But these words died in her mouth as she saw the shine of tears on Ivar’s cheeks. His hands scrubbed furiously trying to push them away but Amina stilled them, leaning in to taste one salty tear. Whispering softly, “I am honoured to know I brought such relief to you … body and soul, my prince Ivar.” It was a little overly reverent and she worried he might find that too much so she continued, “And you are still very wicked, no man has brought me twice before so quickly.

Ivar had no idea what to do with himself now and the building of feeling in his chest had tears spill. He didn’t want them to but the relief was so profound. He was a man.  He was.  He nodded at her words, the emotions choking him again before he barked out a watery laugh at her teasing. Turning he slipped his arm around her waist and looked over at his brother, who indeed looked smug as he folded an arm behind his head and braced himself into place.

Ubbe smoothed his free hand over Amina’s luxurious curves and glanced over at Ivar. “Would you like some ale before the next round?”

The concubine extracted herself laughing from the tangle of men. “I must relieve myself and then I can show you what I know how to do with my tongue. There wasn’t any need for tricks earlier but I have lots of fun games we can play?” she offered up in good humour, stretching languidly. A good fuck always put her in an excellent spirit.

The grin on Ivar’s face was the only answer the other two needed.

[fuck-onionboy]

where to begin?

i really dont know where to begin, so let’s begin with onision’s earliest interactions with women, the following are excerpts from lifeofonion.com because they seem to have the most comprehensive knowledge of greg’s pre-skye life:

Childhood Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on in Elementary School.

Aubry

He says Aubry was the first girl he ever dated and the first girl he ever thought he loved. They dated in the 2nd grade. Greg says one day a boy named Phillip said Aubry was his girlfriend and told Greg to get away from her. He said other "nasty things", so Greg asked Aubry if she minded watching him beat Phillip. She said she did not, so he turned around and "began swinging as hard and fast as I could..." Phillip grabbed Greg's long hair and flipped him. Greg says he landed on the ground and Phillip "managed to land quite a few punches." The fight was broken up and Greg says Phillip cried and Greg smiled. Greg says he and Phillip were "ok" after the fight, but Phillip passed away two years later.

He says he and Aubry never talked after the incident.

Alana Greg says he had a crush on Alana in elementary school. He says she always had surgeries on her arm and felt bad for her.

Amber Greg says he fell for Amber in the 4th grade and she was the most beautiful girl he met up until that point. He says he spoke to her on occasion, but in 2005 he said he lost track of her.

[Unknown Name] In the 4th grade, he asked a girl out that looked like Winona Ryder with a letter. She ended up dumping with with a letter.

This could be Amber (above).

Pre-teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was 10 to 12 years old.

Lindsey Greg says Lindsey asked him out when he was in the 5th grade. He didn't understand what she meant and asked, "which movie?" She later broke up with him from a line he believes she got from the WB. He says it was all a "sham", but he thought she was funny at the time.

Julia Julia was Greg's first kiss. He also had his first sexual experience with her. Greg was 11 and Julia was 15. This would have been in 1997. Greg spoke about his experiences with Julia several times over the years. In 2018, Greg named and modeled a character in his 3rd book, Reaper's Creek, after Julia and wrote about their sexual experiences. This caused some controversy due to their ages.In 2019, Greg bought a love doll to sell nude photos and videos of and named her Julia Love.

Crystal Greg says he dated Crystal in the 6th grade. He says she looked like Zooey Deschanel, "except she was Mexican". She dumped him because she thought he had blue eyes, when he really had green eyes.

Teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was a teenager

Monica Greg says he asked out Monica in the 7th grade. He says "she basically looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt with braces." They dated for two weeks. She dumped him because her friend did not like him.

Sharnell

Greg says they dated when he was 15-years-old. He says he groped Sharnell's boob, then broke up with her.

Jennifer Greg had a crush on Jennifer when he was 15. Jennifer is Michael's sister. They attended Greg's father's church. Greg says she was hyper and loved to run. Greg says he had his eyes on Jennifer for a while. He loved her high energy and he thought she was fun. He also notes that he liked that she was inexperienced with boys because he likes "teaching people about everything".

Greg confessed his feelings for her in a letter, but she called him and told him she did not think of him the same way. Greg continued to see her for a while whenever he would visit his father.

Ashley Greg says he met Ashley in his high school Earth Club. They spoke on and off for three years. Eventually they began watching movies together in each other's arms. The relationship came to an end when Greg invented his religion, Sicesca, and they had a huge fight over it. Ashley told Greg she never wanted to speak to him again and he laughed about it.

Unknown Age Greg did not specify when he dated these girls.

Danielle

Greg says he broke up with Danielle because "she kissed me like a garden hose." Greg says years after they dated, she called him to brag about how large her breasts got. Keesha Greg says he thought that Keesha was "literally, psychotically in love with me... like... horror film "in-love"." He says everything she owned had his name on it and "every other word she spoke was one directed towards me, about me..." He says he broke up with her because she hit on him too much. He tied to tell her he preferred smiling as flirting, but she did not understand.

Tia

They were friends, but ended up dating. He said it was weird and when they kissed, he didn't feel anything. They broke up after only dating four days.

In 2005, while talking about their short relationship, Greg says, "she's quite fantastic, she has a wonderful laugh, beautiful eyes, smile.. she just makes me feel comfortable..." They possibly could have still been friends at that point as he kept in contact with many of his exes at that time.

and now we move onto the skye era, which my main source will be lifeofonion still but also skye and shiloh’s testimonies about their relationship. 

skye and greg met in 2001 in their computer class, but didn’t start talking until 2003, and by 2005 they were married and greg was enlisted in the us air force (usaf)

“Skye and her sister, "Netunesa", participated in many of Greg's early websites and videos. For example, they began working on a video series on January 2, 2005 titled Odd Dolls. This was described on their site as dolls doing "hilarious/nasty things to one another.. these things involved such acts as, murder, arson, PDA, swearing, and various other non-PC actions." They made about 24 episodes. Greg said he broke up with Skye for the first time because she was depressed and he told her he could never make her happy. They because friends. In January 2005, Greg signed up for the United States Air Force. A few months later, in March 2005, someone who is believed to be Skye's mother told her to "be careful around Greg" because of his anger. Greg confronts this person through email and explains that he argues with Skye to "teach her something." The next day, Greg sent Skye what seems to be an email talking about a separation between them. He forwarded the email to his ex Tanya and asked her opinion. He then sent his ex another email, seemingly trying to win her back. Two months after the incident, on May 28, 2005, Greg and Skye became engaged. Greg stated, before their marriage he asked Skye to sign a prenup and she cried. Greg now uses this incident as evidence of his claim that Skye put on "water works" because she was interested in his money.”

greg and skye married in august of 2005 and for the first few years of their marriage they moved around a lot due to greg’s military job.

“On January 24th, 2007 Greg wrote a long blog post explaining why he made the decision for he and Skye to stop hanging out with friends and only hang out with each other and family. He explains he chose Skye to be with him for the rest of his life and having friends does not improve it and makes him suffer. Three days later, on January 27th, 2007, two mutual friends of Greg and Skye tried to separate them because the friends believed Greg was bad for Skye. Greg replied to this on his blog and told the friends that they are in-fact the ones that are bad for Skye because they can't look past his personality and they don't know he tells Skye he loves her every day.”

this is clearly the beginning of greg’s isolation and abuse patterns which he continued with shiloh, and continues with kai.

“In a 2008 blog post, Greg reveals his worst nightmare is not about monsters, but of his his wife leaving him or vice versa. This is something he would again say about his [husband], [Kai], in 2016. During his marriage to Skye, Greg would publicly express never wanting to have children. He said it would be selfish to have children due to overpopulation. (this was a speaks video) Years after the marriage (and after becoming a father), Greg said it was Skye who didn't want children and that's why he would say that. Greg revealed a couple of their marriage agreements in a 2010 video titled "Lover's Pact". One is an "honesty pact", to never lie or keep secrets from each other. The other agreement is a "health pact", to stay skinny. He states it would be selfish for one of them to gain weight and not take into consideration the other person's sexual needs. He says it would be hard for them to maintain attraction for the other when they are "intentionally, consciously letting themselves go". Greg spoke more about his marriage to Skye on his OnisionSpeaks channel and would give viewers advice about how to have a successful marriage like theirs. It is believed most of these videos were removed from his channel after the divorce.During the entirety of the marriage, Greg would often talk about he and Skye's relationship fondly online. Even as late as 2010 (the year he divorced her), when Greg was asked "At what point did you realize that Skye was the one you wanted to spend your life with???" he responded "When I realized her morals and interests were almost identical to mine… and that she loved me more than any girl I ever met… even when I’m being annoying or rude… she loves me… as I do her." Now, Greg says he only saw Skye as a friend and describes the marriage as "friends with benefits" or "bros hanging out". He says he was actually in love with his ex Shiree and only married Skye to receive military benefits, such as living off base and not having to live in the dorms. He says he and Skye would watch anime, play video games, and make love, but the making love stopped at the end of the relationship.“

so the patterns of abuse and control continue with the “health pacts.”

“Greg created his Onision YouTube on January 29, 2006. Greg was discharged from the United States Air Force in January 2009. He and Skye lived with Greg's mother for 8 months while they were finding a house. According to Greg, there was an [incident] where Skye was crying and his mother laughed and screamed in her face. He says this was because Skye didn't want help out around the house. After the military, Greg began to seriously pursue a YouTube career. Skye worked out of the house and supported both of them while Greg stayed home and worked on building his YouTube career. When his channel became successful enough to financially support them both, he asked her to quit her job and work for the YouTube channel with him full time. Skye would often act in the Onision Channel skits and appeared in his first viral hit, Banana Song. She would also make appearances in some OnisionSpeaks videos, usually messing around in the background or sitting next to him. Skye also designed some Onision shirts for Greg. Skye was adored by virtually all of Greg's fan base at the time.Skye joined YouTube on February 9, 2008 with her own channel, Tantaga (channel now removed), where she uploaded comedy and blooper videos. The last recorded number of subscribers on the Tantaga channel before its deletion was 13,164. At some point, it seems Skye lost interest in YouTube and would not work with Greg on videos anymore. He says she would lay on the couch all day and watch anime or look at pictures of flowers and dresses on her laptop. Skye later revealed she was suffering from depression. Toward the end of their marriage, the Onision channel became hugely successful. The channel had reached the Top 100 Most Subscribed YouTubers list by 2010.“

so greg was beginning to take off, but his and skye’s relationship was far from perfect, and skye was depressed, probably due to the isolation from her friends and most likely family, and they “divorced” on christmas eve 2010

“On December 24, 2010 Greg announced through his Facebook fanpage that he and Skye had been separated since December 17th. That same day, he uploaded "Greg & Skye Divorced", where he says he and Skye decided to get a divorce because they are not compatible and many other reasons. He says they are still friends and he still loves her. He says he and Skye will still be living together for a while. He says he moved on because he couldn't do it anymore and he hopes she moves on too. He tells his fans to be kind to her and show support because she deserves respect. Many fans were hoping it was a joke, but soon found out it wasn't. As the news spread, it brought mixed emotions to Greg and Skye's fanbase. Most were saddened by the news and some even went as far to say they felt like their own parents were getting a divorce. This news came seemingly out of nowhere to fans, as Greg and Skye seemed to be keeping up the same energy and emotions into their videos as when they first started. Some fans even contacted Greg to tell him he was making a mistake by divorcing Skye. Greg replies in the video "Onision's Divorce Was A Mistake?" saying these fans are ignorant and he did not have a perfect marriage. He says it was sad and draining. On December 25, Greg uploaded the skit video "Demon Possessed Girl" to his main channel. The video featured him, Skye and Cyr. It was the last skit Greg uploaded with Skye. At the end of the skit he asked fans to show Skye love, she could use it due to recent hardships. During this time Greg had his friend Cyr staying at their house. Sometime after Skye had moved out of the home, Greg uploaded the video "She Betrayed Me". In the video he walks around his house as he lists items Skye and her sister have taken from the home. He heavily implies she stole over $2,000 of his items from his home when he was not there. He says he wished she had told him she was going to take items from the home beforehand and that he was still willing the follow the "agreement" they had over living arrangements and monthly payments. Text appears under him, revealing the details. "I agreed to either cover her bills in my home for 2 years, or pay her $1,000 a month for a year outside my home" Greg has since deleted the video. After uploading this video, he uploaded another video showing surveillance footage of Skye and her sister removing items through his front porch. In the video he says he will take legal action. This video has also been deleted.After Skye began receiving harassment due to Greg's videos, he uploaded "Please Leave Skye Alone", where he asked fans to stop leaving hate comments on her channel. Skye says the divorce was sudden and came out of nowhere. Greg states he threatened her with divorce for the first time in June 2010 over an argument about their possessions. He has also stated he asked for one in October and regrets not following through with it at that time. There are two main reasons Greg states as to why he divorced his first wife. One reason is that he was upset that Skye "felt entitled to 50% of his assets". He says he made it clear their relationship was not about material items. He says despite marriage being an asset split in the eyes of the law, he believed they had an agreement that "everything she acquired in her life was hers, and he in his". He says when she wanted their possessions to be split, she was showing greed and he wanted out. The other reason Greg says he divorced Skye was because she "just sat around and browsed the web". He says she began to have problems with motivation and would quit making videos with him in the middle of filming. He also says she once had a "melt down" in-front of him and his mom for no reason.”

so this is where things start to get legally sketchy, he writes HIS OWN DIVORCE AGREEMENT, and follows skye around the house screaming at her to sign it. so it wasn’t legal to begin with because it wasn’t notarized, or written by an actual lawyer, or an actual legal contract in any way, shape, or form, but then he makes skye sign it under duress, making it doubly invalid

“When talking or blogging about his ex-wife, Skye, Greg often posts the divorce contract he created. The contract is dated December 22, 2010. In the contract Greg states that he would let Skye continue to live in his house rent free until December 22, 2011, 1 year. If she moves out, he states he would pay her $1,000 a month. The contract also states, when Skye signs the papers, she forfeits all home ownership rights to Greg. Greg often brings up this contract to prove that Skye ignored her signed agreement to him. He says when she and her sister took items from him home, she stole the signed agreement, although he had already made copies. He says in the end, that made no difference. According to Greg, Skye declined the offer to continue living with him because she was still in love with him and being around him would be too painful for her. (It's worth noting Greg was planning on starting his relationship with Shiloh during this time and shortly after separating from Skye he began living with Shiloh.)According to Skye, after Greg wrote up the contract he demanded her to sign it. "He would proceed to follow me around the house for hours at a time screaming at me that if I really loved him, I would sign the paperwork, Eventually after the endless onslaught, I gave in as my spirit was quite broken." Skye says due Greg forcing her to sign the contract and the fact that it was not proper or notarized, the court determined the contract was null. Skye [pursued] Greg legally for alimony payments. For years Greg has said Skye stole from him by lying about how much money of the Onision business she was entitled to. He says he got scared and settled without stepping into a courthouse.”

this is everything up to the skye era as described by outside sources, my next post will be skye’s testimony of their relationship (if i can find it), if not my next post will be the beginning of the shiloh era.

im sorry this was so fucking long but if you actually read the whole thing sauce me a follow? this is going to be an ongoing project but i just started and appreciate any exposure i can get