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aquillis-main · 3 years

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Childhood Woes: Final Chapter

Here we are! The last chapter of Childhood Woes! The story kind of changed as I worked on it, hopefully it’s still as good as I had originally planned it.

Tails was the first to get up, groaning loudly as the ache of the fight bombarded his body. For the first few seconds, the memories of what had happened were hazy and disordered in his head. Then, he suddenly remembered the whole reason as to why he wasn’t in bed back at home. “Sonic!” He yelled out, looking frantically around the cavern for his elder brother/best friend. There was no sign of the blue he was used to seeing when he shouted like that, no sound of fast-paced feet coming his way. Tails whimpered a bit, before slapping his face with both his hands. “No, I won’t whine for Sonic… He and Ovi are in trouble, and I need to – wait…” Tails looked around again, thinking a bit clearer now that he woke up. Fully turning around as he got up, the kit found Nebula and Ginger just a few feet away from him, both dragoness and bird knocked out from the Pack.

“Ginger! Nebula!” Tails called out, running over to Ginger and shaking her gently. Ginger stirred and groaned, but didn’t waken, so Tails ran off toward Nebula instead. “Neb—” Tails was cut off by a hand immediately grasping his wrist, tightened as he tried to pull away. Nebula immediately let go as soon as she sprang up, realizing whom had hovered over her body.

“I’m sorry, Friend Tails. I was not in a right state of mind.” Nebula stated simply, looking away miserably. She got up on her own, then looked around to find everything scorched, with no sign of Sonic and Ovi in sight. “Has Enemy Sleet --?”

“I’m guessing so, as Sonic wasn’t here when I woke up…” Tails curled into himself at the thought – the thought of failing his brother/friend weighing on him. His lip curled a bit as his thoughts spiraled down –

“Friend Tails, we will find him.” Nebula said immediately, her honey voice cutting through the negative plague occupying the kit’s mind. She lifted Tails’ head carefully, her violet sclera looking into Tails’ sky-coloured eyes fully. “We will find them both.” Tails nodded at that, getting up and dusting off his tails. Nebula noticed a mark on one of Tails’ tails, and carefully moved them to find a tag that was shaped like a wolf’s head.

“Ah – I didn’t notice –” Tails yipped immediately as Nebula ripped off a few fur strands off of his tail along with the tag, tearing up as the pain disappeared immediately.

“Enemy Sleet left it there for a reason.” Nebula’s soured expression became even more soured when she saw -- in her peripheral vision -- a bazooka nozzle next to her head. Sighing, she turned to her bird friend and said “You know, Friend Ginger, you do things that go against your words about you not ‘being the mom friend’.” The space dragoness smiled lightly, carefully pushing the gun nozzle away from her face.

“Look, all I saw was Tails yipping and you suddenly pulling something. How am I not supposed to react?” Ginger chirped but smiled as she put her gun away. “Anyway, heard about everything when I got up. Sleet took Sonic and Ovi?” She asked carefully, which she got nods for. Ginger sighed fully, growling at their poor fight against the trio earlier. “Damnit. We got to get back to the others, and fast.” She stated bluntly. Sonic and Ovi were running out of time as it was, as the Forboding Canyon was the furthest from Obsidianna and Eggman’s base in general.

“Luckily, Enemy Sleet gave us a point where to go.” Nebula stated, holding up the tag that was in Tails’ tail.

The Pack yipped and howled at having finally gotten the Blue Prince of the Winds in their possession. Sure, it had come at Sonic being severely weakened by turning into the very child he acted like, but still. A victory was a victory to most of the group. The fact that the orange human-thing that Dingo had taken a liking to be a bonus on top of their stroke of luck – once they turned in these two, they’ll have all the riches of the once great Kingdom of Obsidianna! Sleet couldn’t help but salivate at the money they would all have in their hands, rubbing his hands together and imagining all the things they could get – fame, power, new toys to work with…

Really, the imagination of the Pack’s leader was lacking, but Sleet the Wolf was nothing if not eager to get his prize.

“Sleet, can we keep the changeling? I promise I’ll take care of him…” Dingo whined for the fifth time that night, snapping Sleet out of his imaginings with the Puppy-Dog Eyes of Doom. Sleet would have thought the look could have worked, if Dingo was 12 years younger and less of a dunce.

“Unfortunately, we can’t keep the miscreant Changeling.” Sleet announced, watching as Dingo whined at the verdict, again, for the fifth time that night. “He’s part of the dumb bounty -- and keeping the… thing will cut our pay.” The wolf wasn’t going to suggest that they try to take the changeling after taking the paycheck – Eggman would know instantly who took the brat siding with the Prince, and Dingo was too much of an idiot to understand the idea of trade – and instead decided to say “We’ll find another changeling, just like Ovi.”

Dingo clutched Ovi harder, crying out drastically ‘It-it won’t be the same~!’ as he did so, crushing Ovi into his chest as he rocked the young changeling back and forth. Sleet sighed at his longest partner’s childish antics, turning to the young jackel that had kept away from the partying of the others. The Kit sneered at the howling, preferring instead to… do whatever it is on her laptop. Sleet didn’t know, nor care about what it is that the kit was doing on there, as long as it helped figure out the rest of the Underground’s whereabouts. Callie the Ethiopian Wolf was dancing frantically around the base, throwing, and spinning a grey Russell terrier in combat gear along with her joy.

“I can’t wait for the others to come! Oh, they’ll be so sad when we use Blue Prince and Thing 1 against them!” Callie yipped, making the jackel kit tense as Callie’s laugh got louder. She threw the terrier, whom yelled with an aggressive English accent as he flew. Luckily for the terrier, he landed on his feet just fine.

“Gah! Why’d you do that, you blasted woman!” the terrier barked, running back up to Callie and standing on his tiptoes to try and reach her eyes. Since Callie is a maned wolf, it proved to be an impossible task, even more so when Callie tilted her head away from his eyes. “One day, you’ll have a bullet in your lofty head!”

“Says the guy who needs to stand on their tippy-toes to even see my eyes.” Callie tilted her head away, smirking as the terrier got irate over her behaviour. But before the terrier could snap back, Sleet barked out towards the two.

“Mac! Stand down! Callie, stop antagonizing the sniper.” Sleet massaged the bridge of his nose as he said this, voice becoming more nasally as he did so. He marched up toward the two, and shoved both Callie and Mac away from one another. “After this, we can part our separate ways, and we’ll never have to interact with each other ever again.” Sleet turned away from the two, not seeing Mac’s huff nor Callie’s miserable expression. “Come, we’ll need to plan for when the others get here.” Sleet commanded, guiding the others back into the scorpion ship fully, before realizing his ‘brawn’ was still cuddling Ovi. Immediately, Sleet turned towards the lug named Dingo.

“Dingo! Put the brat back, we’ve got to plan for the other brats!” Sleet called out, glaring when Dingo didn’t even bother to answer. With an angry growl, the wolf stomped his way towards the big orange lug and pulled on the lug’s ear.

“Ow ow owie! Sleet, what the heck?” Dingo growled, dropping his ‘toy’ as Sleet pulled him away from Ovi. Ovi let out an ‘oof’ as he landed, which was ignored by both canines as they moved towards the scorpion-shaped plane.

“Dingo, we need to plan for the others. You can have your fun with the changeling later.” Sleet growled out, pulling Dingo straight into the door. The lug’s cries of ‘but my Changeling!’ went ignored as Sleet shouted to the jackel – whom hadn’t moved from their position when Sleet called the others to the plane. “Medjed! Keep an eye on the Prince and his advisor!” Sleet yelled out, immediately closing the door once he did so.

“Sure, whatever.” Medjed murmured, not even looking up from her computer. She didn’t even look up once Ovi started moving towards where Sonic was being kept. Shunting along like a caterpillar, Ovi crawled to the too tiny cage Sonic was carelessly locked into – with his feet sticking out of the bars comically – and his body similarly tied up like Ovi’s. Once Ovi got to the spot where Sonic was carelessly tossed into, he collapsed onto the ground nearest the cage Sonic was trapped in.

“Guh, I hate Dingo…” Ovi growled, hitting his head on the ground a few times, before turning to Sonic. He noted that Sonic seemed completely silent, unable to speak or even think – with the blank look in his eyes focusing on nothing. Perturbed of Sonic’s lack of communication, Ovi continued as if he got a response. “Yeah, yeah. I know. ‘Stop wasting time and get us out of this mess.’ I getcha.” Sitting upright, the changeling shook and struggled with the bindings around him, sweating a bit as he found the rope barely loosening. “Damnit, Sleet and Mac really did well with this…” He groaned out, before finally getting a hand free. “Ah-ha! Ovi the Marvelous does it again!” He excitedly yipped, before immediately snapping shut at his excitable self. Quickly looking around, Ovi found that not only did Medjed not seem to notice his excitement, but none of the other Pack members seemed to hear Ovi’s outburst. Blushing a bit, Ovi couldn’t help but chuckle in embarrassment. “Damn, I really need to remember to not do that.” Ovi muttered to himself, using his freed hand to work on removing all the rope binding him to the spot. Once freed, the changeling took a quick look at Sonic’s cage, pacing around the metal box and carefully checking for a keyhole or number pad to get into. When the sides weren’t giving him anything fruitful, he checked the top of the cage.

“…Damnit, not here too…” He exhaled, sitting back down next to Sonic carefully. “I would change into one of my forms that can see in the dark, but I dunno how much that’ll cut our time…” He stated, worry creasing his features. His jacket buzzed, a bit of fairy light coming out to help him look for the lock. “Why, thanks –” Ovi started, before nearly leaping in surprise – if the changeling hadn’t been gripping the top of the cage so tightly, he could have flailed and alerted The Pack to his escape. Instead, the orange-haired human opted to stare in shock instead. The fairy-light giggled in amusement, snapping Ovi out of his shock.

“Sorry, friend! I had to hide in your jacket when those dogs showed up!” the fairy said, her lights illuminating his paw – wait no, it was his hand – that held her sparkle.

“Ah, I knew I forgot a lovely lady.” Ovi giggled, before turning back to the cage. “Think you can help us out? Sonic can’t handle being stuck like this for too long.” He asked the fairy gently, who nodded and got to work. The Fairy carefully making the light bright enough to illuminate the area, but not enough to alert Medjed as they looked for the lock. When they found it, the lock itself was a simple electronic lock, something that Ovi sighed in relief at. He’d been worried that since Sleet took his picks, he wouldn’t have been able to help Sonic if the lock was a non-electronic.

“Ah, what wonderful news! The lock can be EMP’d.” Ovi gloated, looking to Sonic as he said it. Even with the fairy-light not being as strong as it could have been, the changeling could see that Sonic was smiling lightly. With a device in his glove that not even the Pack could find, Ovi placed a tiny bug onto the gap where the two parts of the lock connected, allowing the tiny bot access to the lock itself. The bot *zapped* the lock, before it crumbled to dust immediately, as if it wasn’t there. As soon as he heard the zap, Ovi immediately opened the cage’s door, pushing Sonic’s feet back in before picking him up. Sonic looked like he could barely move, and Ovi found out why – a small dart oozing with a golden material was inserted into Sonic’s arm, golden lines infecting his usually golden skin. Ovi growled as he looked at it.

“An Order injector. I should have known.” Ovi ‘s hands twitched in seething rage, torn between ripping the entire bottle off and letting it sit there, slowly destroying Sonic from the inside out. The light from the fairy Sonic and Ovi had gotten came up to Ovi’s face, the fairy’s face covered with confusion.

“Wait, an Order Injector? What do you mean by that?” She asked, looking to the injector carefully. Ovi, feeling a bit squeamish, decided to explain fully.

“Order is the opposite of Chaos Energy – if Sonic or I inject it, we get something called ‘Order poisoning’ – it’s somewhat similar to Mercury poisoning, only that you can die from having too much in you as a Chaos Energy Carrier.” Ovi explained as best he could, the spots of his memory on the explanation becoming clearer as he explained. “Look, it’s bad because Sonic and I are Chaos, and Order and Chaos are not fond of one another.” He simplified instead, which the fairy seemed to get.

“… Would you like me to get it out of Sonic?” The fairy asked, looking over Sonic’s shoulder carefully. Ovi raised an eyebrow at the question.

“If you can, that would be wonderful…” He stated, not looking at the fairy as she worked her magic onto Sonic’s arm. The Order fluid started flowing back into the injector, the golden veins disappearing back into the needle. Once the needle was fully filled with the golden liquid, Ovi immediately pulled out the injector, throwing it away before he got infected, as well. After a few minutes of dreadful silence, Sonic sharply inhaled through his nose, stiffening as he came to.

“Damnit, how--?” Sonic groaned out, blearily blinking his eyes as he tried to stand. Ovi immediately held onto Sonic as he stumbled, keeping the hedgehog steady and looking around for any changes.

“You got poisoned, and your speedy heart might have pushed most of the Order injection into your cells.” Ovi stated, gritting his teeth as the plans in his head falling apart completely. There was no way Sonic could even walk with his condition, let alone allow them the chance to escape. Ovi combed through his hair in agitation, grumbling at the two’s luck.

“Why… Why are you upset? We freed your friend.” The fairy stuttered out, not sure why Ovi was panicking. Ovi did his best to not growl out as he started to explain to her why they needed Sonic not suffering from Order Poisoning…

Meanwhile, with the Underground…

Nebula was doing that odd pacing in the air (floating? But Ovi had said once she had wings…), worry evident on their features. The group had returned to the van when they saw Tails, Nebula, and Ginger run back without Sonic and Ovi, worry crossing Nebula’s features as they drove back. Amy had gone silent as Sonia drove them back – mostly wanting enough time to not think for once, while Manic had agreed on him not needing to drive. The others were in similar melancholy/fear about the events happening, with Tails bundled up in his seat as they drove along. The kit’s tails completely hid the boy from the others, the shaking of the fox evident to everyone outside of him, but they could not get close unless they wanted a bite from Tails.

The van travelled further and further away from the Forboding Canyon, traveling off-road through the dunes and sprouts littered throughout. The hills and grass clung to the dust kicked up as the van drove off, the bumps becoming more and more frequent. The land eventually evened out into a flat area as they got further away from the Canyon, the hills appearing less and less. Eventually, the van came to a stop just 5 km away from the camp the Pack had set up. It rested nearby a river, boxes upon boxes were stacked upon the area, all circling around the red scorpion ship completely.

They parked the van in a – admittedly, very convenient – ledge next to a boulder, obscuring the recognizable vehicle from the Pack’s sight. They huddled around together, with Tails off away sulking in the blankets.

“There’s no-no way we’ll be able to get close as a group.” Wesser started, counting how many people were with them. Ginger nodded at the astute observation.

“Yeah, we can’t go in all together.” Ginger added, ignoring the giggling of one fairy in her back pocket.

“You know, if you let me out, I can make you all smaller…” Glitter said, each word poisoned with the slither of lust in between. Ginger shivered but did nothing for the maniacal fairy giggling to herself.

“We’ll have to figure out if we want to do this in teams or naught.” Manic smirked, feeling a bit more in his environment – planning and improvising with the group. He settled his back to a rock, arms behind his head and one leg crossed over the other. He grinned at the thought of what they were going to do, before continuing “It’s highly likely the tall ones will be spotted regardless of it’s just the meming jackel, so they’ll have to stay behind.”

“Does that include me, Friend Manic?” Nebula asked carefully, pointing to herself immediately. Manic gave her a raised eyebrow, before realizing what he said. He blushed a bit before muttering out a ‘sorry’ that Nebula could only hear. Nebula nodded when Manic turned his face back to the conversation.

The group conversed and rejected each plan they had, trying to figure out a way to save Sonic and Ovi quickly enough. Glitter did her best to interject and mock the Underground several times, some were getting irate with the fairy that turned Sonic and Ovi into kids, the others just barely holding the ones back from murdering the so-called ‘Goddess of Love’.

After a point, Sonia growled out angerly “Ugh, why are we even doing this ‘planning’ thing, anyways!” to everyone. “It’s not like we do any actual planning for our other stuff! Let’s just go and and fight them!” The others stared at the purple hedgehog in varying amounts of confusion and excitement, all of them starting at Sonia for her outburst. Sonia, feeling a little self-conscious, couldn’t help but shiver as she asked “Why are you all staring at me like that?” with a bit of hesitation.

“You hardly… ever suggest that we skip the planning phase, Lady Sonia.” Erco stated simply, mostly confused about Sonia’s change in demeanour. Everyone else were in equal parts smirking or outright trying not to laugh/snicker at the princess.

“Yeah, usually, you’re the one telling us ‘We need to plan things out more often!’.” Ginger said, her voice pulling a – remarkedly accurate – Sonia impression.

Wesser, Arura, and Amy couldn’t help but chuckle at the accuracy, causing Sonia’s muzzle to turn pink from embarrassment. The others all chuckled in similar exasperation, causing Sonia to join in as well. When their laughter stopped, they got close to one another and thought about what they wanted to do.

“So,” Manic started, still looking calm despite the situation. “Amy and Nebula can go find Sonic and Ovi in this encampment, while Yuki and I keep an eye on the rest of the group?”

“Yeah, and I and Ginger will stay in the back, in case things get dicey.” Wesser stated, shaking a bit. Ginger couldn’t help but scoff at Wesser’s scaredy-cat nature, but said nothing else as the conversation moved onward.

“Arura and I will keep Glitter separate from the other fairies.” Erco stated, looking to the camp in apprehension.

“And Amy and Nebula will keep the other fairies while the rest of us create a ruckus.” Sonia stated, a smirk like Sonic’s on her face as she thought about the plan carefully. “Yep, this is completely us down to a T.”

“Then its settled, then? We’ve all got our plan together?” Amy said, getting excited over this. Everyone had similar excitement boiling inside them as they set off to save Sonic and Ovi. Amy and Nebula went off with the fairies (besides Glitter) towards the camp, making sure to hide behind crates so they would not be seen by Medjed as they got close to the site. As they kept themselves hidden, the sounds of screaming and things blowing up happened on the other side of the encampment. The sounds of howling and yipping resonated through the area as the Pack ran off after the noise.

For a few moments, Amy and Nebula held their breaths, then sighed loudly once they were sure the Pack had left completely. They got a bit excited when they saw a familiar coattail slinking about the area. They both smiled to themselves – Ovi’s tip on finding him in dangerous situations coming in handy.

They carefully maneuvered through the collection of boxes and tents, slowly making sure that nobody was behind them until they got to where Ovi was. The boy was curled up around Sonic, the blue hedgehog barely awake. Amy rocketed towards the two, fearing the worst. Nebula kept watch around them, listening in as she kept an eye on the area.

“Is Sonic okay?” Amy asked quickly, taking Sonic out of Ovi’s arms carefully, checking for a pulse. It was deathly slow for Sonic, and Amy couldn’t help but panic a little. “What happened?” she immediately asked Ovi. Ovi, being as brief as he could, explained how Sonic and Ovi were kept apart until Ovi managed to escape, then he went on to explain how he found Sonic. Amy got irate through the explanation but cooed at the fairy that had been hanging around Ovi for a while.

“Hello! My name is Amy Rose!” Amy giggled to the fairy, bringing her pinky finger out for the smaller fairy to shake. “Thank you for helping Sonic and Ovi! Can I ask for your name?” she asked carefully, expression soft as she regarded the fairy.

“The-the name’s Tear…” the fairy shakily stated, taking both her hands to Amy’s pinky, shaking it as best she could. She moved away immediately as Amy pulled her pinky back. “You-you don’t have to thank me… I didn’t get everything out of Sonic…” Tear stated, nibbling a bit of her lip as Amy complemented her.

“Nonsense! You helped more than you can believe! Sonic would probably be dead now, if you weren’t there…” Amy trailed off, tears forming in her eyes. However, before they could fall, Ovi wiped them away.

“Now, now. You don’t need to think of ‘what-if’s and ‘what-could-have-been’s, Amy. Sonic’s still here – He wouldn’t want you wallowing in what could have been.” Ovi explained, grabbing a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and wiping the rest of the tears. As he did that, he noticed the soft glow of the other fairies nearby the hedgehog girl. “Ah, you brought the others, too?”

“Yeah, Nebula’s got the other half. We got to go before –”

“Aw, going so soon?” A sharp, cutesy voice interrupted Amy, a voice the four got to know lately, for more ill than they would like. Tear and the other fairies immediately fluttered behind Ovi as they heard the voice, the changeling hefting Sonic up in his arms. The four turned around to find the Pack themselves, with Dingo holding a cage that – somehow – managed to fit all their friends in a cage that Dingo was holding. Luckily for everyone involved, Manic was packed closest to the lock, and was using his picks to try and silently open the lock in that moment. Dingo was the one that was holding the cage around like a loon, making it sway with his giddy movements. Sleet was at the forefront of the group, Mac training his rifle onto Ovi and Sonic easily. Callie and Medjed snickered to themselves, with Callie being more boisterous, Medjed quiet. “We were just going to throw a surprise for all of you!” a bright light zipped across the area, revealing itself to be Glitter to the four.

“Gl-Glitter!” Tear cried out, looking petrified at Glitter. The Goddess of Love cackled at the stuttering fairy.

“Yes! And I see you’re schmoozing with my toys!” Glitter growled, approaching Sonic and Ovi with malice. Ovi, still holding Sonic, did his best to back away as Glitter approached. “I wasn’t even allowed out while you all moseyed together, ruining my hard work! Luckily, these kind guys and girls were able to help me get my little treasures!” Glitter couldn’t help but chortle ferociously, the madness oozing out of her voice.

“Wait, how did you guys manage that without our knowledge?” Nebula asked, confused about how the Pack snuck past. Sleet sinisterly snickered at that, looking at the space-dragoness with maddened glee.

“What? You brats thought we’d be stuck in that meeting like amateurs? Hah!” Sleet laughed, before scoffing out a “We wanted you to come here! You’re all our catch, after all!” The Pack laughed menacingly at that, leaving Glitter confused.

“What? I thought you said I could have Sonic and Ovi…” the fairy glared at Sleet as she said that, wanting an explanation for Sleet’s words. Glitter brought herself to the wolf’s face in anger, before having to back away from Sleet’s frustrated hand trying to grab her.

“Oh, please. You won’t even pay us for that.” Sleet stated, trying to swat the fairy away. “Besides, Dr. Eggman wanted them dead by his hands, it’s not like they’re going to stay living forever.”

“What… I-I…” Completely puzzled by the turn of events, Glitter could only stutter and gape, leaving the Pack’s leader to waltz up to Nebula and Amy – the two were guarding Sonic and Ovi from the Pack themselves.

“Back off, Sleet.” Amy growled out, bringing her arms up further to show she had her Piko-Piko hammer out. Sleet rolled his eyes at the display.

“Please. You’re surrounded. Not only that, but your two main fighters are currently children, with one of them suffering from Order Poisoning if I recall.” Sleet stated objectively, looking unperturbed with Amy’s show of courage. “You and your dragoness of a friend have no choice but to come with us.”

Tear, hiding behind one of Ovi’s hair strands, decided she had enough of this, and fluttered up to Sleet’s face to angerly call out “How dare you threaten them!” at the wolf. Sleet growled at the new nuisance, trying to swat the fairy away. However, whether it be newfound courage or blind admiration, Tear seemed to keep at the Pack leader, biting into Sleet’s fingers if he managed to hold Tear in his clutches, or whizzing by his head if he didn’t. She was basically being a giant gnat to Sleet.

“Gah! You stupid bug! Stop moving and be caught!” Sleet growled out, before turning his attention to the others. “Mac! Callie! Get the brats immediately!” he ordered once he realized the others were snickering at him being beaten by a fairy. Mac and Callie sprang into position, making their way to roughly grab Nebula and Amy and pull them from Sonic and Ovi when the other fairies – besides Glitter – all started doing the same to the other members of the Pack, with two pulling Dingo’s fur, causing the brute to drop the cage entirely. Multiple groans came out of the cage as it fell with a thud, Manic pausing in his filing as the file nearly slid out of his fingers. He held onto the file tightly, working on the lock faster now the risk of being caught was gone.

Glitter looked to amazement at the fairies keeping the Pack away from Sonic and Ovi, looking to the two in bemusement and requiring an explanation for the sight.

“Heh. That’s what happens when you treat people kindly, Glitter.” A cocky, yet croaked voice came out of Sonic, still leaning on Ovi for support. The blue hedgehog winced as he sluggishly turned his head to the pink fairy. “They’re more than capable for standing up for themselves, they never needed you to begin with.”

Glitter snorted at that. “Hah! Sooner then later they’ll come back after they realize how much they need me!” Glitter’s voice wavered at the last bit, her mouth twisting a bit from the smirk she plastered on. Both Sonic and Ovi looked to each other, not believing a word the fairy said.

“Fine, don’t believe us. You’re doing so well in believing the Pack to give us to you.” Ovi gritted out, nearly biting his tongue. Attempting to walk away from the delusional fairy, he half-carried, half-dragged Sonic away from Glitter. The ‘Goddess of Love’ looked at the two in shock, getting irate with the situation in general.

“How – How dare you!” Glitter howled out, “Fine! If you want to throw yourselves out to die, I don’t want you anymore!” Suddenly, Glitter’s magic shot into Sonic and Ovi’s backs, a tornado whipping around them as they changed back into their natural forms. As that happened, the rest of the Underground broke free of the cage they were trapped in. They quickly got to work – Yuki and Nebula destroying much of the ground, Edge and Arura fighting against Dingo, Tails and Medjed getting into a fight with their tails, Sonia and Wesser fighting against Callie, etc. The battlefield was a mess of different things happening, and Sleet only managed to get all the fairies into his hands, before a kick hit his gut, causing the bounty hunting wolf to let go of the captured lights. He looked up to find Sonic and Ovi in front of him – no longer looking like the children they were cursed to at a young age.

“Finally. Been wanting to do that since you’ve captured us.” Ovi cruelly commented, a fanged smile on his lips.

“’Bout time I return the favour for that little injection you gave me, Sleet.” Sonic grinned manically. The hedgehog cracked his knuckles as the chaos of the fight turned up to eleven – complete with a flaming box flying over Sonic and Ovi completely.

“Oh… oh shit.” Sleet managed to say before the hedgehog and the changeling punched his lights out, instantly knocking the wolf out. They turned to the battlefield, to find The Underground holding their own against the Pack. Dingo had just been thrown into a hole made by Nebula and Yuki, Edge and Arura keeping him pinned with a couple of boxes they pushed into the hole. Tails had reduced their tail fight with Medjed into nothing more than a slapfight, which Tails was obviously winning. Ginger was having fun shooting up the area in general and blowing up whatever was needed to blow up. Sonia and Wesser had just ended up punching Callie out like Sonic and Ovi did with Sleet. It seemed the tide was going in their favour—

“Alright, you pathetic brats.” The thick British accent of Mac came into their ears as Sonic and Ovi felt cold steel on the back of their head, the barrel of the guns pressing hard into their skulls. “Get your hands on the ground, and I won’t blow your brains out.” As soon as Mac said that everything started turning on it’s head – Manic and Ginger ended up getting punched by a white werewolf that came out of nowhere. Dingo punching the entirety of the boxes off him, the trajectory of the flying boxes hitting both Nebula and Yuki before they could duck. Dingo immediately grabbing Edge and Arura, keeping their arms together with a single arm. Tails’ tails getting used as a bow to keep his arms in place by Medjed. Callie immediately tripping Sonia and Wesser with a simple kick, and immediately pressing her foot into them. Sleet got up at that point, a gleeful smile on his lips as he dusted himself off.

“Good job Mac. Your plan worked in our favour.” He smiled, before dramatically turning around. “Everyone! We’ve got the brats in our possession! Let’s get them to the ship immediately!” Everyone in the Pack eagerly leapt into action, Dingo happily carrying his catch with the white werewolf, Medjed pushing Tails forward, and Callie taking Sonia and Wesser over her shoulder. One blue light tried to hover over Sleet’s face again but ended up failing as the wolf simply swatted it away.

The light immediately hovered over to Sonic and Ovi, where it whispered in their ears, their fear turning into a grin unmatched by Sleet. As soon as the two nodded, both the hedgehog and the changeling started to multiply from the magic the fairies had given them, Mac started to look around wildly.

“B-boss! The dumb insects have –“ without warning, one of the Sonic multiples immediately punched Mac in the face, knocking him out like Sleet before. Sleet, noticing the lack of movement behind him found his face once again getting punched in by… many versions of Ovi?

“Stop –” Like before, Sleet immediately was knocked out by punches, landing on his back. The multiples of Sonic and Ovi immediately got to work on helping the rest of the Underground out of the Pack’s hands, with some of the Sonic’s happily piledriving into Dingo (and getting Edge and Arura out of Dingo’s hands before that), some of the Ovi’s confusing the werewolf enough to get him to ram into some boxes nearby, two Sonic’s tripping over Callie (and grabbing Sonia and Wesser), and one Ovi untying Tails while tying Medjed with her own tail. They even managed to find Manic, whom had spent most of the fight under the scorpionmobile and ‘working on’ the gears of it. In a rare fit of synchronized anger, both the Sonic and Ovi clone pulled Manic out of the car and ran off to where the original Sonic and Ovi were – back at where the underground had left the van.

“Perfect! Everyone’s all accounted for!” Ovi called out, pulling a thumbs up to the fairies that helped them. The blue light immediately bopped, before lowering it’s glow to showcase Tear in full.

“Wow! I can’t believe you managed to pull that off!” Tear cheered, the other fairies giving their own hollers and hoots for the success. Ovi couldn’t help but chuckle, smiling as the fairy came to rest on the palm of his hand.

“Well, if it weren’t for you little gals, I don’t think we could have managed that without you.” Ovi stated, bringing his finger out for the fairy to shake. Tear accepted it eagerly, shaking the finger with both her hands. The other fairies immediately started to remove the duplication magic, causing Sonic and Ovi to return to normal. The others started to run back into the van, waving goodbye to the fairies as they left without Glitter as the Underground drove off. The fairies flittered away in the opposite direction, leaving to parts unknown. As the group settled into the long drive, Tails couldn’t help but feel curious.

“Manic, why were you under the Pack’s Scorpion jet through the fight?” Tails asked carefully, “Usually, you like to add in a hand or two.”

“Ah, well, you see, there was something I needed to do before we left, to make sure that those hounds don’t follow us.” At that, Manic pulled out a suspension cable that usually connected to the brakes in his hand. “Can’t chase us without –”

“THE BRAKES! DINGO, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BREAAAAaaaaaakkkkksssss…” Sleet’s voice rang out as the scorpionmobile veered off the road, unable to slow down thanks to the missing suspension. The car fell into a small ditch beside the road, unable to be lifted out as the Underground Van was free to return home without trouble. The Underground laughed at the Pack’s misery, hoping to return back to the base without much issue.

#Aquillis Writes #Sonic the hedgehog #Sonic Underground #Sonic Fanfiction #Sonic Fanfic #Childhood Woes

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achilles-c0me-down · 3 years

Note

She stood for a moment, before slowly walking into the room, careful to not make too much noise, she knows Neb doesn't need any more annoyances after what happened. Ophie sat across from her, moving some of the broken arrows out of the way, she stayed quiet, occasionally glancing around the small room

"I um- I know you probably don't want to speak right now, but um... I'll be here for you whenever you need me- I promise- If you don't want me here now that's fine as well" she spoke softly, barely above a whisper, occasionally looking at Neb to see any potential change

It was all heavy and fuzzy and foggy. Off on a tether far from the station, floating in space where she felt detached from everything. Though a little voice in the dark gave her the strength to start feeling herself in.

Neb’s ears twitched an an almost pitiful whine left her chest. Everything was heavy and loose and she didn’t feel right. Like a marionette with loss strings or a puppet with too many holes. She couldn’t get a grip on herself if she tried. But she tried for that little voice she would do anything for.

#╎ℸ ̣ ’ᓭ ᔑꖎ∴ᔑ||ᓭ ʖᒷᒷリ ⎓𝙹∷ ||𝙹⚍#⎓𝙹∷ ||𝙹⚍ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍ ᔑꖎ𝙹リᒷ.#Ophelia #In character #hbsmp

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living-dead-parker · 5 years

Text

We Are Family - P.P

Summary: Peter and Reader have some news.

Warnings: fluff so much fluff

A/N: for timeline purposes; this takes place like five years after everyone comes back and i assumed Peter was 17 in IW bc 2018, so he’s 22 and reader is 23. Also, Tony sure as hell adopted Nebula and you’ll have to take that from my cold dead hands bc they cARED FOR EACH OTHER IDC IDC IDC IDC. Endgame happened, but none of the depressing shit happened and I’ll probs makes a part two and three to this.

Word Count: 1.8k

The nerves fill your stomach as you remain seated in the passenger seat of the black Audi, the idea seeming so terrifying. Not that you expect it to go bad. In fact, they'd all be so ecstatic to hear the news. You just know it. However, it's still such a nerve-wracking thing. Not knowing the reactions for sure is difficult. You can feel the bile begin to rise up, reminding you of the worst three weeks of your life, just having to wake up to the bitter and disgusting taste in your mouth. It sucks. However, you swallow it down, knowing that everyone will be supportive. They have to be, you're Y/N Stark, how couldn't they be?

"Hey, baby," Peter says softly, noticing how you keep toying with the belt of the coat you're wearing. He opts for grabbing your arm and squeezing it gently. There's a very reassuring smile on his lips when you turn to look at him, a bright gleam in his eyes. The beautiful brown eyes you fell in love with, the cute nose you love to boop at every chance because it still makes him giggle, the unruly brown that you swear you just cleaned three days ago. The scent of his cologne wafting up into your nose, making you calm down. Something like sandalwood and a tinge of something smokey. In bulk, it's something that can probably burn your nose off, but in its subtle hints on Peter, you feel comfort. "You'll be alright."

The warm smile sends you reeling. If there's one person you want to do this with, it's Peter. He's your person, the one who makes the whole life thing just a little bit more easier than others do. That's not to say that others don't make the life thing easy, because they do. Peter just makes it a bit easier.

You lean in and press a chaste kiss to his lips, a simple peck. However, he rests a cold hand on your cheek, softly rubbing the pad of his thumb over the soft skin and pulling you in for a deeper more passionate kiss. However, the center console of the car begins to bug your tummy, so you pull away and give him a sly smile, letting him know you're okay. You look ahead and notice the single house, the deck leading to the lake, and a few bikes and some toys on the lawn. A smile reaches your face as you look over at the house. You feel your eyes gloss over at the memories or lack thereof. However, you shake the thought away.

You're here, Peter is here. Dad and Pep are safe, and so are Morgan and Nebula. They're safe and living. Breathing, laughing, loving.

"Okay," Peter sighs softly. Not upset, just a bit pitiful. "That's enough of that, let's go in."

Turning to look at Peter, you nod, a gleam in your eyes and a wide smile. Peter seems to know you better than you know yourself and that makes this journey just a bit more comfortable. You unbuckle yourself and hop out of the car as Peter does the same. On Peter's side, there are three other cars parked there. One belongs to Happy and Peter just knows he brought May since he asked him to. The other cars being Tony's and Pepper's. He grabs a bag from the trunk, holding clothes for the weekend for both of you. The plan is to spend the weekend to see everyone again. You wait by the hood of the car, holding a hand out for Peter to take once he's next to you.

His hands seem to mold to yours so perfectly. They're just a bit bigger than yours, perfectly encasing them and making you feel comfortable. The sound of birds chirping and singing their songs fills your ears, the smell of the cool fall air hitting your nose. Upon approaching the porch, Peter sets the bag down and knocks on the door. He could have let go of your hand, or you could have knocked, but he did that instead. Your sweet dork.

"Y/N! Peter!" May says excitedly as she sees the two of you. With a wide and excited smile on your lips, you step forward and you're soon engulfed into a strong and loving embrace. May's hugs were always so warm and comforting. You remember she was the one who made those five years so easy. You'd been with her when you both disappeared, with each other in that weird place. She helped you cope and you helped her. Her hugs were what helped you get through so many things. When you let go, Peter pulls his aunt into a tight embrace, causing you to smile. Once the two have had their greetings, May lets you both in, leading the way into the living room.

From the entrance, you can see Morgan and Nebula sitting in the middle of the living room, in front of the TV watching some weird cartoon about a sausage and its friends. You also see Happy sitting on the couch, texting away on his phone. The further you walk in, you see your dad and Pepper in the kitchen scurrying around as they cook something.

"We were just cooking dinner, we didn't think you'd be this early," May says when you notice Pepper and your dad hurriedly grabbing plates. The sight causes you to giggle at how adorable they look together. How they work so well even in the kitchen.

"No worries, May."

You quietly stalk into the kitchen, Peter right behind and May behind him. Pepper is busy putting something in the oven while Tony is dancing to the music playing as he flips the vegetables in the pan. You giggle, walking up to your dad and wrapping your arms around him.

"Dad!" you exclaim as he gasps loudly. He lightly smacks your arm playfully and turns to press a peck to your cheek. His eyes light up at the sight of you. Pepper chuckles, walking over to you as you let go of Tony. Peter goes to greet Tony as you give Pepper a hug.

"It's been too long without you guys," Pepper whines as she pecks your cheek. You smile at her and nod. After a few more minutes of catching up, you and Peter head to the living room and greet Morgan and Nebula.

"Morg!" you shriek excitedly as you see your little sister. "Neb!" you say after, seeing your adopted blue sister. It's still the coolest thing ever to you. She might have lost a sister, but she gained two new sisters. "I've missed you two!" you say excitedly. They stand up just as excited to see you. Morgan runs up to you and hugs you, Nebula coming up behind her and enveloping both of you into a tight embrace.

"Y/N!" Morgan shrieks just as excitedly. The smile on Nebula's face was enough to tell you she's excited to see you as well.

The rest of the day seemed to go by in a daze. You spent a lot of time with Morgan and Nebula while Peter went to talk to May and Tony. Eventually, dinner came around and you found yourself all at dinner. Pepper sits at the head of the table, Morgan to her left. Tony sits on Morgan's other side, Happy sitting next to Tony. May takes the other head of the table. Peter sits between May and you, Nebula on your other side. Everyone was eating and talking, and it all felt like home. Like everything was where and as it should be. It felt like the right moment.

"Hey guys," you say loudly as you look over at everyone. The room goes quiet as all eyes are on you. Peter turns to you, giving you a hopeful smile. You just nod subtly, feeling his hand moves to yours and grip it just tight enough to be reassuring. "I have some news."

Tony's eyes are focused on you, expecting you to get with it and say it already. May eyes you and Peter, trying to piece something together. Pepper and Happy just nod, waiting for a response. Mogan and Nebula watch you as you stand up.

"We wanted to let you all know at the same time because you guys are so important and we couldn't imagine how you'd all overreact if someone found out before the other," Peter jokes, earning a nod from May and a playful scowl from Tony. Peter stands up and wraps an arm around the small of your back, resting a hand on your hip. You untie the belt of the large coat and let it slip open, revealing the small bump.

"We're having a baby," you say softly. Everyone's eyes were blown wide when they saw the bump. However, hearing you utter the words seemed to make it all real. You can see Tony's eyes gloss over, Pepper's eyes are so wide. Wider than they would get when dad would do something stupid or reckless. May's crying, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she covers her mouth. Happy has a smile on his face. Morgan is jumping and Nebula has a small smile on her lips. She looks concerned, but happy nonetheless. "I'm only three months, going for four next week. So, we don't know the sex yet, but we're really excited."

May jumps up, followed by Tony. The two are in tears as they wrap you up in hugs. You giggle, feeling overwhelmed by the love. Peter even gets choked up. Tony pecks your forehead, holding you so close to him. The feeling erupts inside you and you hold him back just as tight. May wraps her arms around the two of you and you feel Peter's arms as well. Then Pepper, followed by Happy. Morgan is hugging your legs and all that's left is Nebula. She stares longingly, wanting to be part of it. Wanting to be able to hug you all, wanting to feel love and affection, something she hasn't felt in so long. You notice, holding a hand out and encouraging her to join in. She shakes her head, so you pull away and approach her.

"Hey, Neb," you tell her softly as everyone eyes you. "I want you to be in my baby's life, I want them to meet their aunty Nebula," you tell her, wrapping your arms around her. If she could show it, she'd be crying. Her arms hesitantly wrap around you and you hear her let out a huff of air. Slowly, everyone joins in the hug.

All your worries washing away as you feel all the arms wrapped around you, as you feel all the love, and as you hear all the sniffling. Then the emotions hit you like a truck. The baby isn't even born yet and there are already so many people that would die for them, and it makes you feel so good about your decision. There are so many people who will be in this baby's life who want to be in it, that want to love this baby and it makes you feel so loved. Makes you feel blessed. Makes it all feel like it's worth it.

Send me feedback or requests! Come talk to me or send me asks!!

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mischiefandspirits · 4 years

Text

Iron Legion (21/?)

Never let it be said that Tony Stark ever does things by half. He might have grown up with little family, but he wasn’t about to keep it that way.

Tony Stark was seventeen when his first child was born, and that was just the beginning.

For Masterpost, Timeline, AO3, and Fanfiction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arachne Mark II, Part 4

Dad told him he couldn’t bring his phone to the fight.

However, he didn’t say he couldn’t record it.

“You ready, Jay?”

“All set, Master Peter,” Jay said as Droney did a lap around Peter’s head.

“Sweet! Try to get as much of the action as you can without getting too close.”

“Of course,” he said primly before flying off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That thing does not obey the laws of physics at all.”

Steve internally shook his head at the costumed enhanced who took a relaxed crouch in front of him. What was Tony thinking bringing in a rookie? “Look, kid, there’s a lot going on here that you don’t understand.”

“Mr. Stark said you’d say that. Wow,” the kid -- because with that voice he was without a doubt a kid -- said.

Suddenly Steve was being dragged into a kick that hit harder than anything he’d felt since taking the serum, even with his shield taking most of the blow.

“He also said to go for your legs,” the kid laughed.

Steve went for his shield, but a foot landed on it just as his hands were grabbed by the kid’s webs.

“Spidey,” Nebula growled and picked up the shield. “Non-combat, remember?”

“He started it!” the kid joked, but let go.

Surprised, Steve stumbled forwards right into the shield Nebula used to bat him away.

“Team up?” Spidey offered, landing next to her.

“No. Do as you’re told or I’m sending you home,” she ordered, but otherwise ignored him. She ran forward, ducking a blow from Steve and kicking his knee to bring him down so she could knock her own against his forehead.

“But I promised to punch Cap in the face!”

“If it makes you feel better…” she trailed off as she punched Steve in the face. “Now go pin Maximoff. Focus on her hands.”

“Tell me you got that, Jay!” the kid whooped as he swung away.

“Hey! Father said no recording!” she shouted at him and Steve used the opportunity to grab his shield back.

“No, he just said no phone,” Spidey chirped as he swung past. In a German accent, he added, “Shoot him in the legs. His shield is the size of a dinner plate and he’s an idiot.”

“SPIDEY!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony shook as he landed at Peter’s side.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

“Kid, you alright?” he asked, kneeling next to him.

“Hey!” Peter panted and Tony grabbed his arms before the kid could either hit him or hurt himself. “Get off me!”

“Same side, guess who,” he said and Peter started to relax. “Hi, it’s me.”

“Hey Dad,” Peter sighed.

“Yeah.”

“That was scary.”

“Yeah. You’re done, alright?” Tony said as Nebula walked up.

“What?”

“You did a good job.” Tony grabbed him as he started to get up and carefully pushed him back down. “Stay down.”

“No, I’m good. I’m fine.”

“Stay down,” Tony ordered.

“No, it’s good. I gotta get him back!”

“You’re going home. You’re done,” Tony shouted, standing. “Nebula, watch him.”

“Wait, Mr. Stark. Wait,” he heard Peter say over the comms as he took off. “I’m not done. I’m not… Okay, I’m done. I’m done.”

“Tony,” Rhodey said as a private line opened up between just them. “Is that…?”

“Remind me to kill him once we get home,” Tony said instead of answering. “He was supposed to stay out of the fight.”

“He’s your kid,” Rhodey said as if that explained the kid’s inability to follow orders.

Which was fair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m not the one that needs to watch their back.”

Nebula downed her with one hit. “Might want to rethink that.” She turned to her father. “Please tell me we can turn her over to Ross.”

“Should I be worried about how excited you all are to beat up all my old teammates?” Father sighed and opened up his watch’s display.

“Not all of them, just the ones that treat you like garbage.”

“What am I looking at, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Priority upload from Berlin police.”

“What’s wrong?” Nebula asked.

“Fri, fire up the chopper. Nebula, stay here with Vision and keep an eye on you-know-who.”

When he took off, she glanced down at Romanoff then followed him. “I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not.” He stopped and gave her a stern look. “Ross the Lesser is already kicking up a fuss over Spidey and Masque. You need to keep your head down.”

“And you need backup. Everyone except Peter, Vision, and I are either unconscious or criminals, and Vision’s still messed up over Maximoff and Rhodey. Unless you plan on calling in the triplets, then let me help. Ross doesn’t even need to know I’m there.” When Father didn’t answer right away, she added, “Should I call Pepper and see what she thinks?”

He narrowed his eyes and waved a finger at her. “You know, I didn’t raise you to be this manipulative.”

She continued to stare him down, unimpressed.

“What about Peter?”

“He’ll be fine at the hotel.”

Father sighed and continued down the hall. “Stay in the chopper.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m going to kill all of them,” Nebula growled as she watched Father pass Barton.

“Can you start with Dunderbolt?”

Nebula spun around just in time to see a small, dark shape dart into the shadows with a hissed, “Harley!”

“Are you two spying on me?” Nebula asked, voice sharp. “Did you forget what happened last time?”

There was a pause then a spider-shaped drone flew up to her.

“Technically we were spying on Dad,” Peter offered.

“You don’t need to be spying on anyone.”

“You should have brought me,” he huffed. “I wanna help.”

“Like you helped when you picked a fight with Rogers.”

“He started it!”

“We should get to know what’s going on,” Harley said.

“We’ll tell you later. Leave.”

“Droney can’t fly that far on his own,” Peter said.

“Droney,” Harley snorted and Peter shushed him.

“Then turn it off and we’ll bring it home.”

“Come on, Nebs. We just want to watch,” Peter whined and she could see his puppy eyes in her head.

“Yeah, come on, Nebs. We’ll be good!” Harley added and she could see his smirk.

“Don’t call me Nebs, Harley, and you are physically incapable of being good,” she said, pushing the drone to send it spinning back.

“Hey, be nice to Droney!”

“Hey, be nice to me!”

“Does this thing even have an AI?” she asked, ignoring the younger of the two.

“No, Jay usually pilots him, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be nice.”

“I still can’t believe you told J.A.R.V.I.S. and not me!”

“I only told him because I needed help running the tests. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”

“Which we’re going to talk about later,” Nebula said and Peter sighed.

“What all can you do?” Harley asked. “Besides being sticky.”

“Jerk,” Peter muttered, but listed his abilities and the features of his suit.

Nebula only half listened, having already gotten the summary of J.A.R.V.I.S.’s Spider-Man files from Father. Most of her attention went to watching Father finish his conversation with Wilson before heading back to the hanger.

“Stark?” the more annoying Ross called as he walked up and the boys quieted down. Father turned to look at him, but then got distracted by a message on his watch. “Did he give you anything on Rogers?”

“Nope. Told me to go to hell. I’m going back to the tower instead. Hey, can I pick up Redwing here or will you have someone drop him off?” Father asked, opening the door.

“Redwing?”

“Wilson’s bird-bot.”

“They are government property.”

“The wings are, but the bird-bot -- or the Stark Drone MK82 922 V 80Z V2 Prototype Unit V6 if you want to get technical -- is Stark Industries property, out on loan for testing, and legal wants it back ASAP,” Father said, pointing at his watch.

Nebula shot the drone a look and mouthed, Really Peter?

Peter sent a group text to her and Harley a moment later.

Small-one: Redwings one of us!!!! He doesn’t deserve to be put in jail because Wilson messed up

Brat: Free the bird bot!!!!!!!!!!

Small-one: FREE THE BIRD BOT!!!!!!

Me: Shut up, idiots.

Brat: Justice for avian drones!!!!!!

Small-one: JFAD!!!!

Nebula turned to Father once the door was shut and they took to the air. “You are not allowed to have any more sons. Clearly J.A.R.V.I.S. was an anomaly. All the rest are imbeciles.”

“Be nice to your brothers,” he said as he lowered the tinting on the windows. “What did they do now?”

She pointed at the drone and he frowned. “Don’t you two have homework to do?”

“I already finished,” Peter said as Harley was saying, “This is way cooler than Grapes of Wrath.”

Father’s nose scrunched up. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Father!”

“Did you like that book?”

She crossed her arms. “He needs to do his homework.”

“That wasn’t a no,” Harley snickered.

Father pointed at the drone as he sat down. “Homework.”

“Do you want me to enter the coordinates?” Nebula asked as Harley groaned.

“For the tower, sure,” Father said, carefully removing his sling.

“You can’t be serious,” Nebula said, knowing exactly what he was going to do.

“I promised to go alone. Besides, maybe if it’s just me, Rogers might actually calm down long enough to talk.”

“You can’t go alone, we’ve talked about this. You at least need backup.”

“The chopper isn’t as fast as the suit and we need to be there now. You’d slow me down. Besides, Ross will think something’s up if the chopper goes AWOL.”

Nebula opened her mouth before she got a text from Harley.

Brat: Zippy can keep up right

Me: You mean Guardsmen Mark J-IV? Yes, but it’s at the tower and not designed to be piloted from the inside.

Brat: True

Brat: But I MIGHT have one of dads controller headsets

Nebula turned to the drone. “You’re grounded.”

“What?” Peter shouted. “Why?”

“Not you.”

“In my defense, I was only going to use it to prank Pete, and I never even got to do that because I couldn’t figure out how to get past Jay.”

“Use what?” Father asked.

“He stole one of the controller headsets.”

“Which is a good thing,” Harley said quickly, “because it means I can follow you with Zippy!”

Father groaned and rubbed his face. “Both of you are going to spend all summer helping Pepper with all her most boring work.”

“What? Dad no, please!”

“That’s cruel and unusual punishment!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harley scowled as he turned the book on its side in some desperate hope that it would make the book more interesting.

“Sir has engaged in combat. You are cleared to move in.”

“Finally!” Harley tossed the book aside and brought the headset’s display to full view. He had Zippy stand up from where she’d been hiding in a nearby cave and shot off towards the base. “Alright, Jay, how many of Zemo’s muscle heads are we looking at?”

“None. Sir is currently fighting Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.”

“Dicks!” Harley hissed, pushing Zippy to go faster. He told Dad he should have waited right outside. “What did they do now?”

“Sir was the one to attack first,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said hesitantly.

“And what did they do to make him attack?”

“It… would appear that one of the Winter Soldier’s missions… was the assassination of Howard and Maria Stark.”

Zippy jerked to the side as Harley momentarily lost control.

Holy mother of Jesus!

“Zemo had a video of the event. And when questioned, Rogers admitted he had already known.” J.A.R.V.I.S.’s voice was as even as usual, but the lack of title on Roger’s name gave away his anger all the same.

“I’m going to kill him,” Harley snarled.

He and the others didn’t know much about their Stark grandparents since Dad didn’t like talking about them, but they’d managed to pick up a few things from his and Uncle Rhodey’s stories from their MIT days. Mostly it came down to three things: Howard and Dad didn’t get along (although that was probably an understatement according to Nebula), Maria was adored by them both and often played mediator, and Dad was crushed by their deaths.

And Rogers thought that the circumstances were something that should be kept quiet?

Harley spotted two people outside and landed Zippy next to them.

The two men leaped apart and Harley had her shoot Zemo with a tranq before turning her to T'Challa and leveling her gauntlet at his uncovered face.

“Stark?” he said, shocked.

Harley considered how to answer before turning on Zippy’s voice modulator. “Iron Lad,” he corrected, coming up with the name off the top of his head.

Then immediately regretting it. Iron Lad? Man, that made him sound like some perky pre-teen sidekick from a comic book.

“Where’s Iron Man?”

“Inside.”

“Get Zemo out of here before I do something that will get me in trouble,” Harley growled before marching inside.

Destruction was everywhere, which made it pretty easy to track the three’s progress through the base. Zippy dropped down a silo and Harley gasped when he saw his dad lying on the ground. Almost the entire surface of his suit was cracked or smashed in, including a suspiciously shaped crack across his upper chest. The helmet was gone and Harley could see the pieces lying off to the side while the reactor was only giving the faintest of flickers, which died out as Zippy rushed to his side.

“Dad!”

Harley gave a sigh of relief as his dad’s eyes opened slightly.

“Wha’?”

“It’s me. Are you okay?” Harley asked after turning off the voice modulator.

“Fine,” he lied closing his eyes.

“You should have called me in as soon as that stupid video started. I’m going to kill Zemo. Or Rogers. Or both.”

“No killing,” Dad huffed, his voice slurring slightly.

“Dad, hey, stay awake!” Harley said, having Zippy carefully pick him up. “Jay, how much longer until the Quinjet gets here?”

“Approximately half an hour.”

“Alright, we need to get you out of the cold,” Harley said and had Zippy bring him up into the main room of the base. She set him down on a relatively clear portion of the floor then Harley had her hit the safety releases on the suit and pull him out. “Dad?”

There was no answer and Harley started to freak out until J.A.R.V.I.S. said, “Sir, has fallen unconscious.”

He gave a shaky sigh before having Zippy begin her first aid procedures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony sighed when he came into his and Pepper’s office to see his children huddled up together looking like they were plotting world domination.

In all honesty, he’s pretty sure his kids could manage it.

“Do I even want to know what you lot are doing?” Tony asked, looking every single one of them in the eye.

Nebula was sitting in his chair, her face completely blank. Harley was sitting on his desk, face innocent which only proved he was up to something. The triplets, in hologram form, and Friday had been near the front of the desk, but disappeared at his call. Finally, there was Peter, standing on the ceiling and currently the only one looking guilty for whatever they were up to.

Tony went for the weak link, of course. “Peter, get off the ceiling, then tell me what you all are up to.”

Peter did hop down, but stayed quiet after a look from the others.

Tony stared the three down and they stared back.

“Am I interrupting something?” Vision asked as he phased through the wall.

“Up for debate, Vis. What’s up?” Tony said, not taking his eyes off the kids.

“Ms. Potts asked me to give you an update on the cleanup at the mansion and to ensure you received your package.”

“Package?”

“You didn’t get it?” Vision asked. “It was delivered to the mansion yesterday so Ms. Potts asked the triplets to grab it and bring it to you on their way in for their updates.”

Tony put his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes. “Alright you three, hand it over.”

“No,” Nebula said while Harley hummed, “We don’t have it,” and Peter muttered, “Can we talk about it first?”

Then the triplets and F.R.I.D.A.Y. popped back up, speaking over each other as well.

“Just leave it to us, Boss,” FRIDAY said, trying to shoo him out without being able to touch him.

“We’ve got everything under control,” P.L.A.T.O. tisked.

“You’re still healing! How about you go watch a movie with Torre?” J.O.C.A.S.T.A. chirped.

“I think Cavallo was looking for you. Something about his braces,” H.O.M.E.R. lied.

“Sir, perhaps you should just leave them to it,” J.A.R.V.I.S. suggested once they finished.

Tony dragged a hand over his face at the confirmation that all but the twins were in on this. He shot Peter a pointed look. “What did I say about turning your siblings against me?”

His eyes went wide and he pointed at Nebula and Harley. “It was their idea! I told them we should take it to Mom!”

Vision walked up to Nebula and leaned down. “What is it?” he poorly whispered and she handed him a paper. He frowned as he read what was on it. “I understand your hesitation, but should it not be his choice if he wants to find out what it says?”

“Yes,” Tony said at the same time as Harley’s, “No.”

“What even is it?” the man asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“A letter from Captain Rogers,” Vision answered before the others could stop him.

Howard! Red and white and blue swinging down like a guillotine. Bone-chilling cold.

Tony’s eyes pinched closed and he gave a shaky exhale. “What does it say?” He held up his hand when there were multiple exclamations. “What does it say?”

“Just a bunch of bullsh-” Harley cut off with a yelp and Tony opened his eyes to see him on the ground.

Nebula lowered her hand and held his gaze before sighing. She took the letter back from Vision. “‘Tony, I'm glad you're back at the mansion.’”

The kids all snorted and Tony joined in. He had a home. Multiple ones, really. The mansion was getting cleaned up then sealed up until the UN figured out what they were going to do now that all but two of the active-duty Avengers were gone.

“‘I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family.’”

“He says to the Avenger with the largest family,” Harley jeered. “Not counting Vision, since he’s apart of the family.”

“As well as Col. Rhodes for the same reason,” Vision added and the kids nodded.

“‘The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine.’ True, seeing as the only remaining Avengers are your grandson and brother in all but blood,” Nebula huffed and Tony felt his lips twitch up as he leaned back against the wall, watching his kids figuratively tear Rogers’ letter to shreds. “‘I've been on my own since I was eighteen. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army.’”

“I thought Bucky supposedly died when he was twenty-five,” Peter said, looking to P.L.A.T.O.’s icon for confirmation. “And didn’t he have a team during the war?”

“As well as Peggy Carter,” they agreed.

“Is he even trying?” J.O.C.A.S.T.A. groaned.

“‘My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't.’”

“What is he even on about now?” H.O.M.E.R. muttered.

“‘I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. That's all any of us should. So, no matter what. I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I'll be there.’”

“Oh I’m sorry for lying to you for years, but hey, hopefully you’ll figure out soon you were wrong and call me back, completely ignoring the fact that I'm now a wanted fugitive and nearly killed you,” J.O.C.A.S.T.A. mockingly chirped.

“Speed-Sis,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. hissed.

“No, no. She’s got a point,” H.O.M.E.R. said, his ram briefly being replaced by a buff cartoon angel. “So, can we track them down now? It won’t be hard with the phone.”

“Phone?”

“There was a phone with the letter,” Peter explained, picking it up off the desk.

Tony sighed and walked over to take the letter from Nebula.

He shoved it into Pepper’s shredder.

“This never happened,” he said, plucking the phone from Peter’s hand.

“What do you mean?” Vision asked.

“Ross the Lesser doesn’t want us to get involved with the hunt for Rogers and his recently freed gang, so we won’t.”

“What? Why not?” H.O.M.E.R. whined.

“Until Jessy and I can get him out of the picture, we can’t risk giving him any reason to think we’re helping Rogers’ gang. He’ll take any excuse he can get to get more of a hold on us. Which means we keep out of the search.” He shoved the phone into his pocket and sent them all a look. “That goes for all of you. Leave Cap and his crew alone, understood?”

They all looked disgruntled, even Vision. However, they slowly agreed one by one.

Peter wrapped his arms around Tony. “What about what they did to you, though?”

Tony ruffled his hair. “We both had a hand in that fight, and I threw the first punch.”

“And then the Captain escalated it instead of de-escalating it,” Nebula said.

“Yeah, and it was just a couple of punches,” Harley scoffed. “You didn’t even use your full strength.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony said, flicking him on the forehead. “I still shouldn’t have punched him. Like I said, we’re both at fault. Now, don’t you two have somewhere to be? Bambi said something about paperwork for marketing?”

Peter groaned and pressed his face into Tony’s shoulder while Harley glared. “Cruel and unusual punishment!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yo, I had Harley Nathaniel Richards make a joke about making his own suit and yet I didn't get a single Iron Lad comment? Shame!

Also, judging by all the bloodthirsty comments I got, I clearly underestimated how much you guys wanted to see Nebs or Peter kick Cap's butt.

Question of the day: I made a joke last chapter about making Loki's arc a musical and, surprisingly, some people asked me to actually do it. As such, I figured I'd see what the consensus was. Would you guys want that? Or, as another option, would you guys want to see the musical pieces posted in a separate story, like a series of outtakes type thing?

Next up: Web-Warriors

#ca: civil war #harley keener #tony stark #nebula #peter parker #iron family

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vannminner · 5 years

Text

Two Hundred and Twenty-One Thoughts I Had During The Avengers: Endgame

(Ordering.. loosely based on memory. Spoilers DEFINITELY included, as well as some serious profanity)

Aw fuck. Yeah, Hawkeye- is he dead? Shit, well his family is now. That's sad..

TONY'S TEACHING NEBULA HOW TO PLAY A GAME. That's good. Thanos was a really shitty father who only ripped her apart and taught her how to enslave and murder mass populations. Bitch deserves a childhood. Ha! And she's competitive... Go figure.

I know Tony's going to die, but shit, really? They're going to do this is the first ten minutes?!

Aw, Tony's dead! Fuck! Wait- what's that!? Oh, that's the Marvel chick! Crap, I knew I should have watched that fucking movie first...

Groot and Neb's hand holding.. my god... so THIS is how this movie is going to go...

Well, Tony's still a prick. Space didn't change him. Didn't we see this tantrum in Civil War? Or was that Iron Man II? ...wait, now that I think about it, boy whines A LOT.

I feel bad harping on Tony. He totally has to die to save the planet- circa: “I shouldn’t be alive, unless it was for a reason, I know what I have to do, and I know it is right.” He's my favorite character and he was alone for, like, five years. Tony deserves more respect.

THANOS IS DEAD. Yeah.. this makes sense... what's the rest of the fucking movie about?

Five year time jump, really? REALLY? You should have made us wait longer for this movie, then.

What even are The Avengers doing? Oh, okay bye, Captain Marvel. We didn't need you anyway...

HOLY FUCK ANT MAN!? DUDE! Where did you come from? OH OH! Your kid's alive!? That's super cool. But dammit, yeah, get your ass back to headquarters. You've got shit to erase!

Oh... and you know how? Okay cool...That's a good save on your irrelevant Avengers plot line.

TONY HAS A KID!? HOLY FUCK! NOOO TONY AND PEPPER MAN MY FUCKING HEART IS BLEEDING!

You want Tony to what now?! But his kid! SHIT. This is, like, not good. He's going to erase his kid with this shotty time travel idea. FUCCCKKKKK....

Or not... I get it Tony, but I don't believe you. See you in a few days.

I love you three thousand. ughhhh just kill me.

Haha... Hulk. What the fuck are you?! This, this REALLY? This is the best of both worlds... okay... okay... settle down Hannah Montana. OH! And you're, like, some weird-ass celebrity now? Cool.

Did we really just watch a two minute scene about NOT taking a picture with Ant Man? No one likes Ant Man. Sorry not sorry Paul Rudd.

Haha- Little Paul Rudd... Haha- Old Paul Rudd... Okay, really? This has gone on too long. Ha- and he pissed himself... cool.

TONY HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE TRUE GENIUS. FUCK YES BITCH.

See, told you we'd see him in a few days.

Hawkeye is, like, a hitman now? Makes sense...

THOR IS FAT. OMG THOR IS FAT. A DRUNK TOO, BUT OMG THOR IS FAT.

Fiancé in my ear: "They got a lot of shit for this apparently... fat shaming"

OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS THOR IS A FAT DRUNK WHO PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY. IT ME!??? HAHA Comedic relief while everyone is trying to figure out time-travel and quantum whatever. Haha, Thor, you've finally after ten years redeemed yourself for me.

Yeah, time travel practice-run with the depressed guy. AW HAWKEYE'S KID.. oh..and he's back.. yeah.. this wasn't painful for NO FUCKING REASON.

Okay, let's do this. I am tired of waiting... go go go go go. GO TO THE PAST.

Wait, where the fuck is everyone going again?

Oh, New York, cool cool, OH SHIT WAIT... Like, THIS New York. FUCK MAN. WE ARE REALLY BRINGING IT BACK.

Hahahaha Hulk smash.. kinda.. ugh.. man, level-headed Hulk is, like "I'm trying man. He won't come out!"- all over again. FUCK THIS IS FUNNY.

Wait, okay, Captain and Tony going to the- OH SHIT LOKI, okay, I remember now.. man I should have fucking rewatched all these movies. My ADD IS KILLING me right now.

We're not close to three hours yet, are we?? ARE WE?? *checks clock* okay, good, good, proceed...

Okay, Asgard, got it, got it... HAHAHA Fat-Thor, this will never get old, and Rocket.. this should be interesting...

Settle down, Thor.. Jesus, how the mighty have fallen....

Wait Nebula, who else knows the stone is here!? WHAT'S GOING ON. DON'T BE OMINOUS, BITCH. OUT WITH IT.

It's Thanos. It's definitely Thanos.

Ohhh OMG GUARDIANS YES. YOU DANCE, STARLORD. YOU DANCE. ... wait... he looks insane dancing to no music. THIS IS GOLD, MY FRIENDS, PURE FUCKING GOLD.

OH FUCK NO. Black Widow and Hawkeye are going there?! Shit.. I know what this means. Wait.. I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS! NOOOOOOO NATASHA AND HAWKEYE.

Hulk's just over here talking to Tilda, whatever her name is, like, wanna grab a cup of coffee and chit-chat a while?! BITCH, THIS IS YOUR FAULT. GIVE HIM THE DAMN STON- oh shit, now he is out of his body. PLOT TWIST. PUT HIM BACK YOU MONSTER! WE ARE ALREADY OPERATING AT HALF CAPACITY HERE!

Okay, New York. Got this... Wait, which one is which? I can tell which Iron Man, is which... because well, Tony has issues with LEAVING SHIT ALONE.

Hahaha Hulk and the stairs.

America's ass? Really..

I'm pretty sure Scar Jo has America's ass.

Okay, Loki, yup, okay.. and sweet talking Captain. We got this.

HAIL HYDRA. I AM DEAD.

I kinda forgot Antman was here... OH GROSS GET OUT OF TONY! What the fuck are you doing in there!

IF Tony dies in the past? What happens in the future... THIS SHIT IS SO CONFUSING. I HATE TIME TRAVEL.

Past Tony is dead?

Is this part of the plan?

Oh, sorry, jumped the gun... He's okay.

HAHA THOR HAMMERING TONY'S HEART!

HAHAHA HULK AND THE STAIRS!

Loki, what are yo- FUCKING LOKI. Wait, what? FUCK. COME BACK. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FUCK EVERYTHING UP YOU SPINELESS, DEMONIC, SPACE-MAN, YOU?!

FUCK IT WAS THANOS. BITCH TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN. NEBULA YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING- wait, what is happening?!

Okay, we got two stones, right? RHODES HAS THAT STONE, RIGHT?

YES BITCH! NEBULA BETRAYED YOU. YOU'RE LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON (person?) EVER, THANOS. FUCKING DAMMIT.

Wait, we're going where now? I am confused. WHAT THE FUCK IS IN JERSEY. THERE'S NOTHING IN JERSEY! I CAN SAY THIS SHIT BECAUSE I AM FROM CONNECTICUT AND DRIVING THROUGH JERSEY IS THE WORST PART OF ANY SOUTHERN DIRECTED DRIVE!

OH... Jersey... ohhhhhh... okay.

Is that?! OMG IS THAT HOWARD STARK?!

Your name is Howard? Really, Tony.. really? ...Howard...Potts...

WOW I DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED THIS, BUT NOW IT'S HAPPENING AND OMG. HUG OR SOMETHING! THAT IS YOUR FATHER TONY! UGH. I am already too emotional for this..

Wait, how long has this movie been on so far? Don't check, don't check, don't check....

Thor literally has the bloody easiest job. Like hug your mom, sneak a peek at Nat. Port, and take the stone? What did they need Rocket for?! He should be with Nebula, WHERE HE WOULD BE FUCKING USEFUL!

Hulk's still just talking to Tilda, what's her name. YES BITCH DOCTOR STRANGE WAS A DOUCE. NOW GIVE HIM THE DAMN ST- okay, thank you. Job well done, Tilda. See you, probably never again...

Nebula vs. Nebula?! Bitch was such a suck up. This is ridiculous. Is this really Canon?!

Okay yeah, appease your demented father. NEW-NEBULA! SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT. "THANOS KILLS YOU GAMORA! HE LITERALLY THROWS YOU OFF A-"

NO NO THE CLIFF.

FUCK ME. Who is this.. okay.. Hawkeye has kids, but Black Widow is a female. What is going to... wait, what are they even talking about? Has someone made a decision yet? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. STOP TALKING IN CIRCLES BOTH OF YOU. ONLY ONE HAS TO DIE. BE SMART ABOUT THIS. IF YOU BOTH GO DOW-

-Oh no Hawkeye-

-Oh no Black Widow

Wait..

...now I'm...

No.. okay, Black Widow... That's sad...

What a waste of a really good butt.

PEGGY CARTER. FUCK MY FUCKING HEART MAN.

Are we good to go yet? We got the stones, and some more magic potion... I kinda forgot we needed that, but that's good... that's good...

STARK HUGS! FTFW.

We're home!

Guys, that's not Nebula! THAT'S NOT FUCKING NEBULA. Okay, we're just going to ignore the fact that her arms are different and-

Yes guys, it's sad, Black Widow is dead... I'm sad too, but GUYS, COME THE FUCK ON. WE'VE GOT SHIT TO DO! STONE, SNAP, BRING BACK, TAKE OUT NEBULA BECAUSE SHE'S A BITCH!

Hulk is made for this. Really? Really guys? Because that looks like it belongs to Tony's suit. ARE WE REALLY IGNORING-

OH... oh shit... it's fine guys, the hand grows.

OH FUCK HE SNAPPED.

DID IT WORK?! DID IT WORK?!

DID IT FUCKING-

ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!

ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE! WHO IS FUCKING CALL-

OMG! HIS WIFE! HAWKEYE! AHHH. IT WORKED! WAIT- WHAT THE-

Wait.

What is?

OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?

OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.

FUCKING- WHAT?!

Thanos. FUCKING, Thanos.

Shit, where's the hand?! WHERE ARE THE FUCKING STONES.

Wait who has them?

Where is everyone?!

OMG THEY'RE DROWNING!

I can't even remember who is here right now..

Is everyone alive?

Where are the other avengers? WHAT IS- Nebula, seriously, go home. You're ruining this. APPEASE DADDY YOU BITCH.

Sure, cool... Thanos why don't you just pop your happy ass down on that rock. Take a fucking load off. Have a good rest... because... IF YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING IN THIS TIMELINE YET, YOU LAZY PIECE OF-

Wait, that's actually kinda badass.

You're just sitting there hanging out and-

OH GOD WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?! FUCKING MUTANT GIANT ALIEN BUGS!

RUN HAWKEYE RUN!

THEY'RE STILL DROWNING! GODDAMN, DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE, ANTMAN, INSTEAD OF THROWING OUT THEORIES THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN HELP EXECUTE! HURRY, FUCKER, HURRY!

Thanos vs. Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor. Okay, I don't understand how this isn't over in, like, two seconds...

Seriously, what makes this Thanos guy so badass?

Like what is his secret?

Maybe it's Maybelline?

Fucking Thanos...

SHIT WE ALL GUNNA DIE!

TONY! IS THIS... is this it? Are we-

Are we dead now?

That's right, Gamora. Help your fucking SISTER!

Did Nebula just commit suicide?

That's awkward...

Seriously, is no one going to say how painfully awkward that was to watch?

NOO TONY!

NOO CAP-!

HOLY SHIT WE ARE SO OUT NUMBERED! FUCKING THANOS.

WHAT IS-

Oh...my god.

OH MY GOD!

THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE FUCKING HERE!

OH MY GOOD, ALL THAT IS HOLY, GOD!!

Is that, IT IS! STARLORD!

BLACK PANTHER!

GROOT! HOLY SHIT, YOU GIANT TREE, YOU. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!

Wait, where is- SPIDERMAN! YASSS YOU, WEB-SWINGING, LITTLE BASTARD, YOU. I TOTALLY HATED YOU BEFORE YOU DIED AND I REGRET THAT NOW. IM SO FUCKING SORRY.

IS THAT PEPPER-FUCKING-STARK, MAN!?

GIANT-ASS ANT-MAN. I take back whatever I said about you before. SQUISH THANOS’ ARMY LIKE THE TINY SPINELESS BUGS THAT THEY ARE!

Is that... insensitive?

Seriously, how are you guys still losing?! WHAT IS THANOS!? FUCKING GOD. THAT'S WHAT- HOW ARE YOU ALL SO USELESS RIGHT NOW?!

SPIDERMAN AND IRON MAN!

DOCTOR STANGE DID THE SPARKELY CIRCLE. Omg, I am dead.

THIS IS NICE! HUGS. Holy fuck. MY FUCKING HEART.

GAMORA! But wait, Q, that's not...

OUCH! FUCKING NUT-KICK ON POINT.

HAHAHAHA- yes, Gamora, that's the one... HAHAHA

Yeah, Doctor Strange is a prick Tony, we know this. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T TELL US? I swear to fucking god I'm coming for you Cumberbatch if this doesn't fucking work-

HOW ARE WE STILL LOSING?! YOU HAVE THE FULL-SPAN OF THE AVENGERS, AND A FUCKING BADASS WAKANDA ARMY, AND YOU ARE STILL LOSING.

This is like one badass game of keep-away.

Seriously, though... of all the games we learned as kids, THIS is the one we're going with?

HOW ABOUT HIDE THE FUCKING HAND SOMEWHERE ELSE FAR FUCKING AWAY FROM THANOS.

OH SHIT SPACESHIP FIRE!!!

OH SHIT WATER!!!!

Water? Really?

STRANGE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! What is that thing!? Now, use it! PUSH IT! Dammit, okay, cool, just stand there holding a giant ass water weapon that you could be throwing at Thanos' giant-ass head!

Are we all dead yet?

How long has this movie been on for?

Don't fucking look, MEGHAN.

GROOT AND ROCKET- OH MY FUCKING GOD.

WHAT IS THE SPACE SHIP SHOOTING AT!? WHAT THE-

FUCKING C. MARVEL. REALLY. DAMN, YOU FIERCE BITCH!

Oh, oh, look at you, girl! Go girl, go! You put down that blue-faced mongrel.

FEMALE MONTAGE. FUCKING FUCK, HOLY HELL, FUCKING A.

SHIT! OH DAMN... Those stones... how did I forget about the stones again. FUCKING! DON'T LET HIM PUT IT ON!!!

Seriously, we are fixing a car right now?? Is this really important?? I feel like this can wait until after Thanos is dead.

Someone call DCF... what the fuck did Thanos just do to Spiderman?

DAMMIT! HE PUT IT ON.

GET IT OFF HIM CM! DON'T LET HIM-

Oh jeez, he made CM look like a ragdoll.Oh... more ragdolls...

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. WHY CAN'T I KEEP UP WITH THIS BULL-SHIT.

WHO IS DEAD? IS ANYONE DEAD? WHAT THE FUCK?!

SHIT THE GLOVE IS ON AGAIN!

How did we not learn the first time, NOT to let that happen.

WAIT! GO TONY GO TONY GO!

NOOO TONY NOOO TONY NO.

Wait, I'm pretty sure I saw those stones fall off...

HE SNAPPED.

Deep breath... nothing.. ha.. Thanos you little grumpy bitch.

Stones-

TONY HAS THE STONES!

BITCH, YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU JUST HAD FUCKING HOLES READY FOR FIVE INFINITY STONES SET INTO YOUR FUCKING IRON MAN ARMOR THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME!? WHAT THE-

Yes baby, YOU are Iron Man.

SIT THE FUCK DOWN THANOS.

YOU BLOW AWAY IN THE WIND, BITCH.

BLOW

BYE BITCH, BYE!

No... Tony....

Peter fucking Parker.. no.

God no, what the fuck. I didn't need this.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark"- just... fucking kill me.

SOMEONE CALL PEPPER! HER HUSBAND IS-

Oh, hi Pepper...

Jesus Christ.

WERE GOING TO BE OKAY. REST NOW, TONY! OMG. Seriously, just kill me. OMG ... WHAT THE FUCK.

FUCKING EMOTIONS.

Wait, did we win? I forgot to pay attention.

Has anyone seen Groot in a minute? How is my giant fucking ficus doing?

HOW LONG HAS THIS MOVIE BEEN ON?

Do we have to watch them put the stones back? I really hope not. I cannot take anymore stress tonight.

I LOVE YOU THREE THOUSAND.

FUCK ME.

TONY HAS A HEART... and mine is having palpitations.

OMG EVERYONE'S HERE! WE CELEBRATE YOU, TONY STARK.

IS THAT- OH GOD, ALL THAT IS HOLY. IT IS! HARLEY OMG!

WE'RE CONNECTED.

YOUR DAD IS A PUSSY, BUT WE ARE CONNECTED.

God, this fucking hurts.

Happy and MORGAN. What the fuck.

CHEESEBURGERS?! YOU WANT FUCKING CHEESEBURGERS?! OF COURSE YOU FUCKING DO.

As if my emotions weren't compromised enough already...

Thor giving his throne up to a badass- FUCK YEAH HE IS.

Fucking really, Wanda and Hawkeye. Shit. I give up. I'm just going to sit here now....

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU CAPTAIN AMERICA. JUST PUT THE STONES BACK SO I CAN LEAVE THIS GODDAM THEATRE AND DROWN MYSELF IN WINE.

Oh... you're old now, Captain...

This makes sense.

Wait, does this make sense?

Weren't you like frozen or something? Did that just not happen? I fucking hate time travel.

Oh, and you married Peggy.

Is that really the end? Seriously. WHAT.

OMG... THIS CREDIT MONTAGE. WHAT THE-

OH IT CHANGED.

HOLY FUCK. GOODBYE TO THE FIRST GENERATION! I AM CRYING.

NATASHA. SCAR JO.. OMG. I LOVE YOU.

TONY.

Fucking Robert Downey Jr, I love you man. Thank you for 12 brilliant years. FUCK. I need a nap.

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nebulasaurus · 7 months

Text

I have this headcanon that Gon never even considered being with anyone but Killua. It's always been him, no matter the situation. It's Killua, and always has been. He's always loved Killua, always wanted to be with him, and he's never even given it a second thought. He thinks it's obvious, but it's not.

I want to write about my headcanon but I don't know how to start it. I'm so much better at writing Killua because he's a flustered baby filled with angst. Ugh.

#hunter x hunter gon #killua hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #killua x gon #killugon #killua #gon x killua #hxh killua #killua zoldyck #hxh gon #gon #gon freecss #gon freccs #gon freeks #hunter x hunter headcanons #killugon headcanon #gon headcanon #headcanon #nebs whines

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callmeakumatized · 6 years

Text

Hey, Jealousy - Ch. 2

ch.1 Ao3 ff.net

For Rose. Nebs helped. 8)

Chat Noir was fuming.

Who did Luka think he was, talking about Marinette like that!? 'Amazing'!? Of course, Marinette's amazing! She's way more than just amazing! She's kind and strong and funny and…!

…well, she's kinda weird too, but in an attractive way, if that was a thing. Which was good for Adrien, since she tended to be that way more often than not around him.

Chat paused in his pacing and smirked to himself. Was it bad how self-satisfied he felt when he could get her flustered enough to elicit some of those crazy responses? Was it bad how often he maybe did it on purpose?

Chat took a few steps to lean on the railing of the rooftop he had stopped on to look to the balcony across the way. The lights of the Tour de Eiffel shone brightly, bathing the scene in a replica of yellow moonlight, giving the shared space a charming, almost ethereal glow. The scene was rendered to near perfect by the excited buzz of couples and tourists buzzing around in the parc by Marinette's house and the motorists hurrying along to enjoy the views of the Ville de l'Amour, 'City of Love'.

But all Chat Noir could concentrate on was how he had already been rejected by the girl of his dreams, and now, too suddenly for him to be able to properly wrap his head around, found the girl he himself had rejected had become something of an exhilarant to his insides.

"Marinette! Really? Love m-me!? I…I mean, I don't know what to say…. No, Mar, I don't feel the same way…

"I'm sorry."

He hated that he remembered every word of that conversation.

It was unfair.

So, once again, Chat Noir tried to reason with his stupid brain about the situation.

Because it wasn't like he was actually attracted to Marinette. Sure, there were certain qualities she possessed that were attrac-tive, but he never had considered himself actually attrac-ted to her. Like, he hadn't ever seriously thought of the two of them being together. Entertained the idea one or twice? Maybe. A dozen times might, in reality, be a more accurate number. Or even a dozen times a week, but who was really counting!? Thinking about it was safe, because it wasn't like anything would ever happen between the two of them! It was just, like, a fantasy or – no, NOT 'fantasy', that's not…that's not the right word. Imaginings of a love-starved boy? Yeah, that's all. Because, even though Plagg had whined about how cliché it was for him to say it (which was about 99% of why he was Chat Noir right now, so he didn't have to listen to the ornery cuss any longer), Adrien was still hopelessly devoted to Ladybug!

His Lady…

The one who didn't see him in that way at all.

"Chat, you know how I feel about staying strictly professional in the suit. We don't have that luxury, so I've never entertained the idea. Sorry, Chaton, but we can't be together…ever."

He remembered every word of that conversation too.

Chat growled suddenly, pushing off the railing and turning around to cross his arms and pout. Ville de l'Amour? More like Ville des mal-aimés, 'City of the Unloved'…

(…okay, maybe that was a little melodramatic.)

It took a few minutes for a still-scowling Chat's ears to finally twitch enough to draw his attention to the familiar sounds of a certain girl who had just come out from her balcony. When he turned, both cat ears turned too, concentrating everything on her.

"…Luka, that sounds, uh, that sounds grood! I mean goot! I mean, I can't wait! Heh, yeah, 7:00 is fine. Okay. Yeah, see you then. Bye."

"New boyfriend?"

Chat was a little satisfied in the terrified scream Marinette had let loose. He easily caught the phone she'd thrown at him and looked down to see a picture of her and Luka on her screen in an open text box.

"Chat!" she finally whisper-shouted at him, hand still clutching her chest from residual fear…though she did have mind enough to march over and snatch the phone out of his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't answer my question," Chat responded instead, leaping down from where he had snuck onto her balcony railing and getting close enough to lean over her smaller frame. She maintained eye contact with him, surprise at his antics giving way to a small smirk. He felt his pulse rise compulsorily at the splendid sight of her needing to peer straight up at him in their close proximity, with that look on her soft features.

"Since when is it any of your business who I date, Chat Noir?"

Playful Marinette?

…yes please.

"I thought you liked the Agreste boy," Chat shrugged, "yet, it didn't sound like that's who you were talking to, Princessa. Just wanting to know if I need to protect you from another boy Akumatized because of his unrequited love for you."

This actually made Marinette laugh, though it was tinged with a bit of sadness. "Thanks for thinking so highly of me, really, but I can promise you 'Adrienette' – " she used air-quotes with her fingers to emphasize the word – "won't happen."

"'Adrienette'?"

"Adrien…Marinette…." She slapped her hands together. "'Adrienette'."

Oh. Never happen, huh…?

It stung, but Chat couldn't really think of – or maybe couldn't bring himself to admit – why. He cleared his throat a little, trying to ignore it all and get his head back in the game.

"But you like this guy? Luka?" Chat leaned on the rail and leaned in a little closer. "Like, actually like him?"

"Yes, Chat," she said simply. "I wouldn't exactly have agreed to go on a date with him if I didn't."

"Why?"

Marinette blinked, apparently not expecting that response.

(Neither was Chat.)

"Why? Why what?"

"Why do you like this guy all of a sudden?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Indulge me, mon Mari-Cherie," he said quietly.

Why this was so important, he couldn't be sure. It could be something simple and dumb, like reassurance. It could be – and probably was – something else. Either way, for some reason, the answer to this question seemed like the most important thing in the world right now.

"I…" Marinette sighed, looking away. "Well, he's nice, Chaton. And, well, he likes me. Like…" Marinette smiled to herself. "Like, he actually likes me. For me. As I am. Not because I'm –" Marinette's eyes suddenly snapped wide eyes back to Chat, searching his face like he suddenly could guess what she had been about to say. "That is, I mean, not because I'm someone – something! Else. Someone I'm not. 'Cause I don't like to act like someone or something I'm not. And, well…" She wouldn't look up at him now. Pointedly. "That matters more than you might think."

It felt like she was blaming him for being a person that would do that, and…Chat didn't know what to think. What had he done – or, more likely, said – that would have caused her to act that way to him now? He refused to think about how Adrien had turned her down for Ladybug, so what was it about Chat that had tainted her opinion of him? The fact that he had told her that he loved Ladybug before? Didn't he have a right, as one superhero to another, to have a "celebrity crush" on His Lady as Marinette had had for him?

Marinette sighed, the sound shaking Chat from his stupor. Without looking back, she walked quietly to her trapdoor, opened it, and slipped inside, pausing when only her head and uplifted arm could be seen. She looked over her shoulder at him.

"Goodnight, Chat Noir." Her smile was soft, maybe even a little sad. As he watched, unable to look away, and equally unmatched for any more conversation, Marinette's small smile turned up in the corner slyly.

"Don't stray too far, Minou. You're always welcome to my rooftop."

A quick wink – a wink – and she was gone. And Chat Noir was left to stew in his own mind, swimming in the confused goop that used to be coherent thoughts and steady emotions.

…I'm in trouble.

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official-star-and-moon · 5 years

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No no Neb (they gently pull his arm away and point at the door) you should show crylic, nev, and comet your sparkles!

He whines a little before smiling

"Can shows!"

#chronoapril19

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cnc-archive · 5 years

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"heyo neb.."

Nebula is holding his head whining

#chronomay19

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s-nebul0sa · 5 years

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How did I ever manage to write a chapter every single week?! It’s a mystery. It’s wild. Where has that girl gone?

#writing struggles #one day and ive got 400 words. half of them already written another time #iris whines #Neb talks

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bokutosbiceps · 6 years

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Fudging hello operator. Idk if my second ask went through. But if I'm allowed to ask for a second one (it's actually for admin green for our shared blog opposed to red from earlier) could I get either Nebuya or Murasakibara with #42. A hug from either bear is exactly what is needed right now.

im cHOOSING NEBS BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO PERFECT I LOVEEEE HIMDIPNWEOIFNRE;LWERHW;OFEU. anyway. enjoy.

- Pocky

ps. i’m so sorry that this is late, and i hope green feels better :)) hopefully this can help too

You shook out your umbrella and left it to the side of the door as you fumbled in your pocket for your keys. The telltale sign of the presence of your keys–the Christmas-like jingling–was no where to be heard and you let out an exasperated sigh.

“Could this day get any worse?” You whined, lightly banging your head against your front door, causing your drenched locks to slap against your face. One moment, your forehead was pressing against the hard, wooden door, and the next, you were falling forward into the apartment that you shared with your beast of a boyfriend.

“Woah, babe! What the hell?” A deep voice boomed. You felt strong arms wrap around you just before you hit the carpeted floor and your face being pressed into a solid chest.

“Sorry.” You mumbled into his chest. He rose an eyebrow at your melancholic mood and grabbed you by the shoulders to pull you away from him and look you in the eyes. Once he saw the sadness and dejection in your usually bright and cheerful eyes, he pulled you back to his chest, wrapped an arm underneath your thighs, and carried you over to the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed, with you cradled to his chest, and moved you carefully so that you were also sitting.

He fetched you a fresh pair of sweatpants and one of his huge jackets that he knew you liked to wear (you always denied it whenever he’d catch you wearing one), and peeled off your wet clothes. Once you were dressed, he grabbed a towel to dry off your hair and a brush to de-tangle; all those years of wanting to help his mom out with her hair when none of his older brothers would do it had actually paid off. Once you were comfortable, he sat down beside you and pulled you to his side.

“Now tell me what’s wrong.” He said, his voice soft but with a hint of assertiveness.

You sighed and flopped back on the bed, getting comfortable enough to dive into your long, sad story of how the day had gone for you. Nebuya joined you in laying down and listened earnestly, nodding his head and keeping his eyes focused on you so he wouldn’t get distracted by anything else.

“I’m sorry, babe. That sounds roug. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. You just gotta stay positive.” He rubbed your hand with his fingers and thought for a minute. “You know what would help you feel better? Working out. Come workout with me tomorrow morning!”

“I don’t need to exercise, Eiki, I need a hug.” You sat up to run your fingers through your hair and stretch. Nebuya followed you up.

“But I already gave you, like, three since you’ve been home.”

“So? My day sucked, and I love your hugs.”

“Fair enough.” Nebuya shrugged. Without warning, he tackled you back down onto the bed, crushing you in an iron hold, and started to pepper you face with kisses and nuzzles. The first smile of the day graced your lips and you pounded your fists against the rock wall that he called a chest.

“Okay okay okay! I think that’s enough!” You giggled in between breaths. Nebuya released his hold on you and stood up, looking quite proud

“Now let’s eat, I’m starving! Takeout sound good?” He called as he moved to the kitchen to grab his phone.

“Takeout sounds great!” You yelled back, smiling to yourself. You were eternally grateful for your hard-shelled boyfriend with a true heart of gold.

#nebuya eikichi #nebuya #nebuya x reader #rakuzan #knb #knb x reader #kuroko no basuke #MAJOR FLUFF #fUCK i love him

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virtual-crisis · 6 years

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⭐Alpha Centauri⭐, part three

I don't have anything witty to say here, just sit back and get ready for a bit of a ride.

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I didn’t know when it was that I woke up. All I could tell was that the sun was out. Proxima Solaris��Latin for ‘Damn Nuisance’, as far as I was concerned.

When I awoke, it was with a wheeze. My heart was pounding, my sight was blurred, my eyes were jittering around in their sockets. My four arms were shaking, my insides felt twisted up in ways I had no right being alive with. Then it hit me, and my hands went to the real problem area.

“My head!” I hissed, pawing around at my face. Sure, I still bore the head of a moth, antennae and all. Granted, its antennae were frazzled [which was of little concern to me at the moment], and much of its fur was more than a little singed by a source one could easily guess, but it goes deeper than that.

I’ll admit, there’s a lot of information I’ve been withholding, so I’ll dissillude the name on my Boston University ID. My real one is Centauri. Yes, named after the star. My siblings are in reality named Nebula and Polaris—after a phenomenon that I’m sure most of you know, and the North Star. They aren’t humanoid moths like me, but they do manifest in very insectoid forms as well.

But while Polaris is pure insect in her true form, there’s a stipulation with me and my brother: my body [and his moreso] isn’t wholly organic. With a demon, this much is understandable, but most of the time Neb and I will display synthetic heads [and torso in his case] that match with the rest of our bodies. My actual head is, effectively, a laser cannon, constructed to appear like an old 1990’s tabletop TV set. Nebula’s head and torso are similarly modeled after a desktop computer and connected computer tower, server block, and other peripherals. When I enter a sleep state, my real head always forms back over the fake one.

And this time, it didn’t.

I whined in pain, quivering. Whatever happened while I was asleep, it left me with my clothes in tatters nearby. Everything hurt, and the sunlight felt like it was spewing flames onto exposed muscle and nerve tissue. Given my situation, it practically was, on my face. I did get myself to my feet, but it was a struggle, and it took at least a full minute.

Looking down at myself, I furrowed my brow in frustration. Modesty demanded my fluff wasn’t enough, so I tied what was left of my shirt around my thighs [more important than hiding my chest], and reached into my skirt’s inner pockets.

No less than fifteen missed calls and eight unread texts—all from the same roommate of mine. I skipped the inbox and clicked the speed dial for her.

“Holy fuck you’re still alive!” Chialer shouted on picking up. I winced from the loudness of it.

“Beast, Ty, can you not… My head is… Fuck, I’d say it’s killing me, but…”

“But what? What happened? By Asmodeus, everyone was flipping a shit about fucking mothra showing up in the forest, fighting some little glowing shitter with wings!”

My eyes went wide. “I… Yeah, that…. That was probably me.” I said uneasily.

“What happened?!” she pressed.

“Jeez, can you just…” I sighed. “It was a mistake sending me home early… I tried taking a shortcut through the forest, then I got lost, then this guy shows up posing as one of the jocks from school, but then he pulls out this bow and starts shouting that God’s not gonna—”

“That was an angel!? How the home are you alive?”

“I don’t know! And I might as well not be! I woke up with… I woke up without my damn head!”

Chialer fell silent for several moments. “...That explains what I saw.”

“What?”

“That… That angel, he had a huge fight with you in the forest there. At one point your ‘face’ started charging up red, before vaporising the fucker. But at the last second, this tiny beam of light flies through it and hits you in return, and just…”

“Just what, Ty?! What happened?!” I sputtered, putting a hand to my head after from the headache I had.

“You fucking exploded, Ally. News this morning was flipping a shit- thank LUCIFER they’re not sending investigators out yet.”

“Well what the fuck do I do?! My head’s where all my energy comes from! I can’t disguise myself, and my clothes are shredded, and—”

“Just... Just stay out there, okay?! It’s not like the wildlife’s that dangerous, just try and stay away from anything that looks like a person, I’ll try and contact your mom and dad for help!”

I took a deep breath and sighed, wincing in dread. I was stranded, so close to suburbia, yet disallowed to enter it. What, a five foot tall moth walking on two legs and talking in English would be accepted by humans? Fuck no, I was screwed if I went out there- and the next Bigfoot if anyone came to the forest and saw ME.

“Fuck, I… Whatever, just call them ASAP, okay.” I muttered, before hanging up. I figured I had to do SOMETHING. Sticking around in one place waiting was probably gonna get me found by the police or whatever else.

So I started jogging. A very awkward, stumbling jog, half-tripping over everything in the way, but I was moving nonetheless. I tried to put my mind off the effort- distract myself and make it a subconscious motion. First I counted trees—and remembered screeching from tree-dwelling creatures serving as collateral damage from the angel’s attack on me. I tried focusing on passing details on the ground—only to remember how I stomped lazily over many of the trees last night, leaving plenty of the huge imprints I was passing. I looked up—and ran chin-first into a tree, falling back over myself.

I was like some drunk unable to carry themself properly, knocking into everything one could. I had a debilitating hangover, I caused a huge commotion the previous night, and I hardly remembered what destructive things I did.

I started crying. Internally. Tears wouldn’t come from my eyes, and I didn’t have the energy to scream. All that happened was me trembling. Trembling a lot, slowly curling into a fetal position on my side. My wings ached from me having fallen on them, and I felt like a chicken running around without its head. But rather than going berserk and panicking like, well, my head had been chopped off and it didn’t kill me, I just laid there pathetically on the ground, hardly making a sound.

It felt like hours. If mom cared enough to come for me, she would’ve immediately. My brother obviously wussed out of helping, and dad was where I got my trademark laziness from. Polaris was probably pulling some edgy apathy shit.

Chialer was a no-show either. She acted all panicked, but that was probably so I’d get my hopes up. Less competition for trying to date the sports guys at the university. She’d probably go crazy with her abilities without me around to possibly out her. Typical, knowing—

“Your invasive thoughts are migraine inducing.”

I seized up.

“Yes, I’m speaking to you.”

I slowly looked over my shoulder, trembling.

“It’s very clear that you’re shaking from things other than the cold weather. I wouldn’t need eyes to know that.”

There was… A human standing over me. At least, that’s what he appeared to be. He gestured for me to stand, and my eyes darted around in confusion.

“Get up. I don’t have all day.” he said. I quivered for a moment, but found myself quickly obeying him, turning myself over and struggling to get myself to my feet.

He had a middle-eastern complexion. Semetic, I think the word is. Like a man from the old land of Jerusalem, and I mean the OLD one—he was surprisingly short, considering how he looked from the ground, but not too much to not appear adult in stature. What mainly stuck out though were his eyes. They had the slit pupils of a snake’s, turned sideways like a goat’s. And their irises… The color was indescribable.

“Indescribably beautiful.” he said, looking at a watch on his wrist as though to appear disinterested. For a guy out in the forest that could evidently read my mind, my thoughts… He was oddly well dressed, in a formal black suit and tie, and a bowler hat on top.

“...I-I… Archangel Lucifer?” I sputtered.

He blinked, looking up at me, into my own eyes. The apathetic glance alone sent a chill down my back. “Tanner. Samuel Tanner. I don’t go by my actual name to lesser demons, nor my titles in a mortal realm,” he said sharply, “I’m here to make an offer to you, not have my feet groveled at and my existence worshipped.”

I blinked several times, stumbling slightly in place as if someone had let a heavy backpack loose on my shoulders. “I-I.. Wh… What? A-an offer….? I, uh… What… Sort?”

‘Samuel’ clasped his hands behind his back, turning his head up and to the side in a strange manner. “You’ll know when you see it,” he started, cryptically, “In mortal realms such as this, I run a roving store out of a quaint little cart. Unfortunately, obstructions in the paths here have forced me to park it some distance to the West.”

I nodded shakily, my eyes darting around as I waited for him to continue.

His mouth twitched slightly. I couldn’t put a finger on what he was getting at, and that was probably what he wanted to happen. “If you wish to hear my offer, then follow me to it.” he said, before turning to start walking. Within a few moments, he vaulted over a pileup of branches and a log, forgoing an unblocked trail mere yards to the side.

I sighed, hunching over for a moment. As if this day wasn’t already going to be long. It wasn’t like I had much choice though, so I took a deep breath and pushed myself to follow. It hurt like home to so much as jog, and whenever I clambered over something I could only imagine I looked like a pitiful insect that’d just been sprayed with… Well, bug spray, what else.

But it was all I could do. The devil himself had come to me to offer… Something, presumably good, but he wanted to play this game with me as the mouse and him charting a maze. If I didn’t run, I’d die from the last of my energy running out. If I kept running, I’d die of overexertion. Even considering what made up the core of my very being, I’d rather tell nonexistence that I died trying.

Step by agonizing step, he led me. I followed him for what felt to be all day. He left me no apparent choice but to jump across creeks, carefully navigate thornbushes and briars. Every few minutes I’d cry out and collapse to the ground. He’d stop some distance ahead, simply staring at me from that ways away. I didn’t want to get up, but I forced myself to anyway. Once I was to my feet, he wasted no time taking off at the same pace as before, and I struggled to catch up.

Then the ‘game’ started taking on new mechanics. I’d blink, and in the man’s place was a serpent, darting down into a hole in the ground. I whined in dread- I could only barely manage to squeeze myself in, not helped by the weight I sported. Further on, he’d taken on the wings of a dragon, flying up an eroded ‘cliff’ of dirt about twenty feet high. My attempt to follow was a mix of pitiful wing fluttering and clawing at the dirt for anything I could remotely use to pull myself further up.

But eventually… FINALLY… We arrived in a clearing, with a humble-looking cart that seemed to be repurposed from one you’d see a guy selling hotdogs from in NYC. It smelled of some indeterminate (to me) middle-eastern food, which out of desperation, I badly craved. I slumped down to my hands and knees once I’d taken in the sight of it, wheezing in pain.

“I should preface this with the fact I rarely speak well of others: your ability to keep up with me has been impressive.” Lucifer said, striding casually to the cart.

I slowly lifted my head, shaking, sweating, and struggling to so much as breathe. “Wh... Why…?”

“My kind that remain ‘loyal’ to God believe that to earn his favor, they should seek out and destroy demons ‘plaguing’ the Earth and otherwise. Truthfully, God’s influence is scarce in worlds which have accepted Jesus’ sacrifice.” he explained. He began sifting through items in a compartment of the cart, with his figure blocking the view.

“Th-then… Why wasn’t my roommate attacked? Or my siblings, or—”

“Because you were the naive little one that went off alone. Away from humans that would spread the word, defame the ‘hunter’ trying to do them some twisted form of favor.”

I took in a strained breath, almost managing to regulate my breathing again. “I…”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Yes. Many of them are hypocrites. Blinded by the black-and-whiteness of the rules they enforce. A pity that the son who so frequently spoke out—defied the rules, lost his temper, sat at tables with whores and taxmen; upended tables at the temple in rage—such a shame he would know kindness and acceptance better than those who should embody it.”

I stared, finding myself mesmerized. I couldn’t quite tell by what—I knew much of what Lucifer was now reiterating to me himself, and there was nothing surprising about angels hunting my kind in such a way. But… It was something… Beyond him.

On the other side of him.

He turned around, holding up a TV set—just the same size as the one that my head previously took the form of. It had sleek black plating, gleaming softly in the sunlight; A number of dials and buttons lined its base, labelled in what I recognized to be Hebrew, but couldn’t read; its screen appeared to be more like a hole in reality, being such an absence of… Matter, that black couldn’t even describe the cosmic cavity therein. Atop it was a small dome, with two slightly bent antennae sticking off it, and with optic fibers sticking off one side of each. It was… Like moth antennae.

I stared for another moment, before giving an open smile. Lucifer returned the expression with a slight, closed smile, but lowered the machine.

“My offer is this,” he said calmly. “This construct: woven of hydrogen and tungsten, the smallest yet one of the most volatile elements of reality, with one of the densest alloys known to mortals; this will serve as your new… ‘Head’,” he explained.

I nodded slowly, my smile fading slightly. “On… What condition?”

The ‘man’ smirked deviously—demonstrating why the adverb was coined. “Ah, for a demon so young, you are smarter than oh so many,” he said pensively, “My condition is thus: you will be available when I have need of you and any abilities you have now, or will develop in my service.”

I spent a few moments considering what it entailed, and considered that my life was more valuable than being responsible for my own purpose in what would be left of it. I nodded quickly.

“I will allow you the chance to finish business here in this realm—going through ‘college’, as it were. But be mindful to do your duty as a servant to Hell and its lords:”

“Make slothful the diligent, make lustful the chaste,” I said along with him, then nodded again. He nodded in return.

“But after that, I will expect you to be prompt in serving whatever purpose I see fit to put you to. There are issues across this multiverse God has created that I cannot stand for, but due to circumstances between me and him, I cannot intervene myself. So I need autonomous servants that can tend to these matters in my name.”

I glanced away, clearing my throat.

“...Will that be a problem?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s just… Nothing, nevermind.”

“Tell me what it is.” he said, taking a commanding tone again.

I winced, hesitating to speak again. “...So I’m guessing I won’t be a sex slave.”

There was silence for several moments. Then… He laughed. I’d made the devil himself break out cackling at a stupid, inappropriately lewd joke I made. It wasn’t even a joke, it was dry-witted sarcasm. It was… Calming. Somewhat.

“No,” he said after a good couple minutes, “You are an immortal living weapon, Centauri. You may be an embodiment of lethargy and desire—born to feed on the attention and adoration of others—but honed in the right way, you will be an instrument for playing some very… Influential music.”

I went still, holding my breath. Me? Influential? A living weapon? Sure, I could defend myself, but…

“I hear your doubts, little moth,” he said, stepping towards me, “I assure you, Asmodeus or Beelzebub would lead you through an eternity of sameness and monotony. In my guidance, you will find existence far more… Exciting.”

I slowly looked up at him. To say I had stars in my eyes would be a phenomenally inappropriate pun, given the life-changing offer Lucifer was explaining to me, but here I go already saying it. “I… I accept.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Why, I hadn’t even asked if you do, yet… But I’m glad you do,.” he mused. He then held out the TV set with its back facing me, tapping the plating on it expectantly. “Here, I’m sure you’d much prefer having this ‘on’ to continuing to stand around headless.”

I nodded quickly, taking a step forward. As I brought my face close to it, the machine rippled slightly, opening itself in back as though the air I pushed with my movement caused it to splash like a liquid. I hesitated for a moment, before letting myself in, putting my synthetic head inside the machine. As it closed back up around me, Lucifer carefully eased his hands off of it, and with good reason—it was really fucking heavy, and I buckled over onto my knees, putting my hands to the underside of it and grunting as I tried to hold it up.

“Come on, now. If Samson could pull the supports from buildings, you can hold your own head upon your shoulders.”

I winced for a moment, staring beady-eyed in the darkness. But then… I chuckled. He was right. Mortals had accomplished well more than what I was struggling to now. If I managed this, I would live. I would thrive. Lucifer was offering me his favor—his support, and a guarantee that I would be someone. He was infamously manipulative, but he was no liar in cases like this. All I needed was a little more effort.

------

] Initializing…|

I stopped, kneeling still before the archangel. When I was born, my first sight was static, as my body attuned itself to existence. Here, it was as Nebula described his to me: like a boot-up sequence for a computer. No doubt this was analogous to a smart TV- something with far more functionality than was available to me before.

] Loading OS_1134 V 6.66

] Scanning…

] Model registry confirmed: Type-S L-A-S-E-R Cannon

] Welcome user ‘Centauri, Alpha’|

A series of images flashed in my view. Diagrams of summoning circles, riddled with symbols and runes, all of which were dedicated, in combination, to me. Sloth, Lust, Thunder. Scribonia Hypercompe. Eyes like stars in the sky. It ended on a lingering image of a pentagram, spinning slowly like a buffering symbol. Then, like a blindfold being torn off my head, I regained my sight. In front of me was a business card, settled neatly in the grass. The ‘Samuel Tanner’ noted on it was nowhere to be seen, and even his cart had vanished with him.

#Alpha Centauri

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