#need to tag on this? but oh well i guess lmk if i do

[writingbynova]

The Party ★

★ & The After Party

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ⊹ : pwp (porn with plot) - mdni - frat boys au - gojo & geto x nerd!fem!reader - party - bff drags u there - tiny mention of substances but no use - mean geto - protected sex - degrading - pet names - geto calls you: sugar/ doll & Gojo calls you: sweetie/ princess/ baby - rough sex - biting - overstimulation - threesome - slight choking/ breath play - hits of dacryphilia - missionary - Doggystyle - face fucking - praising - oral(m & f receiving) - mind breaking - dirty talk - fingering - getting caught (through the phone) - lmk if I missed any tags...

Word count : 3.6k

A/N : sorry js felt horny ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ (should have added toys but I'm sleepy) wrote this while listening the the party & the after party, shameless, often, I was never there, & coming down.

Majoring in Biology but never got fucked by two frat boys at a party ? Guess you didn't listen during the chapter of reproduction... Let's teach you some tricks shall we ?

"Going where? A party ??" you asked your eyes almost gouging out of their socket "Id love to but i don't think I can... And I wasn't invited. I have homework anyway it's better I stay and study"

You friend stands in front of your mirror, putting dresses up to her body to determine which one suites her best. They all do.

"Yeah whatever, good think wasn't asking you come. I'm telling you. Get dressed, Yuji is picking us up in 30 mins. " She says leaving alone in the room.

Frat boy's parties weren't really your thing. Although you couldn't judge because you had never been to a party, you always focussed on your studies. Hence why you didn't even know where you were heading to. Nonetheless you headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready.

"You done ?!" You heard your friend scream from another room, while you applied some mascara. "You better be when I get there !!"

You sighed. You really didn't feel extremely comfortable going. You didn't know anyone except your bestie who was basically your polar opposite. Outgoing, friends and... Well 'closer' with the popular boys. While you were the awkward nerd who didn't know anyone and never interacted with XY chromosomes possessors. Majoring in Biology.

Your friends barged into your room just as you expected and you stood anxiously before her.

"Where you going?" She asked judging you up and down. "Uh.. you said a party" you muttered, this situation really wasn't your daily life. "No, I mean where are you going dressed like a Spanish teacher, you look a damn mess girl." So that's the matter. "Oh...it's that bad ?" "That bad ? You look like you got dressed in the dark"

Pink skirt and a purple top make a cute combo tho ? Don't they? Okay, maybe not then.

"You were seriously about to walk out dressed like a 6 year old girl? And where's your makeup ?" Truthfully she was being dramatic. "I don't wear makeup and I've never seen a 6 year old dressed like this" you clapped back "Only means they dress better than you." Ouch. Touché " We've got about 10 minutes to salvage this before Yuji shows up, go get my makeup bag and the black leader dress on my bed. Quick." You nearly ran out the room. Visibly the night would be hard.

"Are you sure this is okay ? I think I look kind of weird and these lashes are sooo long I've never had them this long."

"You look like a piece a cheesecake. I'd take a bite out of that ass right this second if Yuji wasn't waiting for us" she laughs. You chuckle at her antics. As funny as she is you can't help but feel self conscious at the idea of walking out dressed like this. A black leader strapless dress, barely covering your ass. Black high heels in which you barely felt stable. A full face of makeup adorning your face you looked like a mini version of her. Hot as a motherfucker though.

"Let's head down girl?" She says, peaking through the door. Handing you a little YSL bag with a gold strap.

"Yes, be there in a second I just need to find my glasses..." You said, patting your desk in search of your square correction glasses. "Please tell me you're not planning on wearing those windshields..." She criticizes. "I need to wear them, I can barely see without them." "You're lying !! You haven't been wearing them since and you're fine let's go." She said grabbing your wrists and dragging you out. Fuck.

A pink haired boy gestures at you two before opening the car door for you two. 'Such a nice boy' you think. Thanking him and sitting next to your friend in the car. She makes small talk with him and you get to know he's one in a few classes of hers and friends with the party organizers.

"Gojo and Geto, hottest boys alive. The party is at Gojo's house he's some rich kid you must have seen him at least once." You look over at the picture. A tall boy with white hair and sky blue eyes leaning on a tall boy with black long hair and purple eyes. They're cute you can't lie. You have seen him around, he plays basketball and girls from what you heard. "They look nice" you only say. Because what else is there to be said. This is just two campus boys organizing a big party. Nothing special, you've never experienced one but now it doesn't seem like anything special

"I won't tell you what I think. Make up your own opinion were here" she says gesturing for you to open the door on your side. Suddenly it does seem like something special and the knot ties in your stomach, you start wobbling on your heels. Still your friends drags you to the door with a "you'll be okay" that does not reassure you in the slightest. A boy open the door. Pink hair. "I though Yuji wasn't coming in until later ?" You whisper in her ear "that's not Yuji it's Sukuna his twin." Yeah makes sense. He lets you both ente the house and you're hit with the smell of sex, probably some weed and sweat.

Your friend drags you over to her group of friend and they start chatting, before moving over to take shots. You on the other hand stay aside, props for not drinking but you do feel excluded. You need to isolate, Candy by Doja Cart banging within your head, it's too crowded. "Where's the bathroom" you scream over the music. Your friend points up the stairs. Without thinking you rush up the stairs, it's already better. The floor is already much more empty.  What wasn't smart was not asking which door was the bathroom door. They were all white. Which one was it ?

Anyway. You didn't really need to go to the bathroom you just needed some alone time. And which the popular music playing downstairs you were soon the only one left sitting on the hallway carpet in some corner. Clearing your calendar and doing some homework on your phone. You should have taken your earphones with you. "Need some help princess?" A voice asks. You lift your head to be met with the white haired boy leaning over you, his big eyes staring at yours. So that's why she said they were the hottest boys alive...

The black haired boy sighed "is she even sober ? How many times have we told these randoms to stay off the top floor" he hisses staring you down. "Oh I'm very sorry, I didn't know and I was looking for somewhere private..and I'm not drunk, I don't drink" you say almost muttering. This is not the best encounter you ever went through, it looked like the white haired boy was intrigued but the black haired boy very obviously didn't like you. "Coming to a frat party to stay alone and not drink. Do you even know us ?" The black haired boy asks. Shit. That's true what's their name again? "Uhhh" you point at the white haired boy" Joe—go ? Jogo? And Toge? No! uhhh Geto is it ? "They both stare at you blankly before bursting out in laughter "she called you Jogo, you'll never hear the end of it" Geto? Laughs, mocking the white haired boy who's face in now red.. "Sorry was that not it ? I apologize if I said something offensive " you retract "it's okay" he offers you a hand. "I'm Geto, you got that right, and he's Gojo, not Jogo" he chuckles looking over at his friend. You take his hand lifing yourself of the ground and stepping in a much clearer light.

"Damn, ya look good" Gojo says, starring you down. They probably couldn't see you properly because corned you were in. "You actually do" Geto adds smirking at you. "How About we show you around ?"

Well they're much more welcoming now.

You can feel your face burning. Like melting off. As you walk down the corridor. You're sandwiches between 6 total of six ab rows. Scarily hot. Gojo's hand holds your hip, while Geto's holding your hand. "So... What do u major in ?" He asks. You're hardly able to think, the tension is so obvious. "Uhh.. bio" you say as the white haired boy unlocking a door to a room? "What are we doing here ?" You ask starting to feel anxious. Two frat boys taking you in some room sounds weird. It was pretty though, a balcony from which you could see over a good part of the city, a huge bed with silk red sheets and a plain blanket, a nightstand, a desk. And some led lights shining a pretty pink.

"Who's room is this?" You ask. Looking around. "Mine, if you looking to chill you're free to come here" he says closing the door, locking it and standing behind you, his hand on your waist. Letting the white haired boy come into view. He holds your cheek, his eyes never leaving yours. They probably could tell your heart was beating at a thousand mile per hour, you tried avoiding his gaze, though he was dangerously close to your face, to your lips to be precise. "You're so soft" he says "and you smell so nice" Geto adds, his face buried in to crook of your neck.

"A-ah thank you" you stutter. You can very distinctively feel Geto's cock pressing up against you dress, which is too short by the way, entirely too short. Gojo starts lining kisses on your jaw, until his face is met with yours again, his eyes focusing on your lips, he grazes his thumb upon them. "Can I ?" He says looking you in the eyes. He wants to kiss you ? This rich ass frat boy want to kiss you ? Fuck.

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, so you nod mindlessly. He leans in "just relax" his lips meet yours and the feeling in euphoric, he's crazy skilled, it feels like bliss pure bliss, you taste a minty hint on his lips before his tongue slides into your mouth. Chasing after yours "mmhf!" You whine feeling Geto behind you, trailing bite marks all over your neck. "What'd you say sugar ?" He says coily, watching you avoid the question. Thing is you don't stand a chance before them. When's the last time you've had sex ? A year and a half ? Maybe two? And now you two guys slowly hiking up you dress. "Listen here sugar. How about we make you feel realll nice? You seem so pent up..." He says against your skin. Kissing the spots he previously bit. "Ah uh I don't really kno-"you start saying, interrupted. "oh won't you look at that ? So horny she got her panties and my pants wet! We should take care of that" Gojo says shining a runway worthy smile. Shit. You knew you were kinda wet, who wouldn't be, squeezed in between these two boys, ready to ruin you while the biggest party on campus was going down a few feets below. Before you're able to speak Geto offers you a hand "Let's play sugar. You can only win here." The offer was tempting so tempting you took his hand, blushing at Gojo's cheers behind you.

"Talk to us. What do you want sugar ?" Purple eyes grazing upon your almost naked body. It didn't take Gojo much time to slide your dress off you, leaving you in your black laced matching underwear set. Good thing you were wearing that one. "Focus" he ordered. You were laying back on his chest, while he was playing with you bra's clasps. Focus. Focus? Right he asked a question. "I uh... I- don't know.." you muttered, eyes fixed on the white haired boy kissing your pussy through your panties. Having you throb like crazy..

"Mhm a virgin maybe?" He said, studying your look. "No! No.. I have had sex in the past I just.. you know..."

"No we dont. Use your words sugar. 'fore I take them away" he warns. "You're making her wet! Such a needy thing." Gojo adds, taking a break from teasing your pussy though your panties. "When's the last time you got ate?" He asks training his finger up and down your soaked undies. What? How was that relevant ? "I had lunch if that matters ?" It's the way his eyes go wide that makes you wonder what the fuck you just said. "You've never gotten ate before ?Oh I have to be your first" he said shifting behind you to get up. The white haired boy reluctantly move but before he whispered something to Geto that makes him lightly chuckle and say "okay okay"

His face stills between you thighs, you're mesmerizing by his beauty and assurance. The tensions is building up in your stomach "just trust me and relax". You simply nod, trying to put your focus away. Gojo's laying next to you. Kissing your chest, his hand wrapped around you, slowly u doing your bra. "Oh fuck..." He says, flinging the fabric at some end of the room before latching on your nipples. "Ah!" You yelp, feeling his hot tongue rolling over your bud. You close your eyes, too busy relishing in the feeling to bother realizing Geto's sliding off you panties and spreading you thighs far apart. You jolt and moan loudly when he licks a long strip from your pussy to your clit. "Ya like it uh ?" Gojo teases, finally letting your boob free, with a satisfying "pop!". You nod frantically, whatever he's doing he's great at it. So great you start lowly moaning for more. Trying to cover your pathetic whines with your hand "Go on tell him you feel good" Gojo says encouraging you to speak. Your eyes drift over to Geto, teasing your hole with his fingers and sucking your clit. "Ahh... I- I like it, it- ah! Feels nice..." You whine, felling your face heat up.

Geto's eyes stare into yours, and you can feel him smiling against you. "Good girl, see, wasn't so hard" Gojo says, making you return your attention to him. He lands a soft kiss against your lips, not letting you pull away. And you're moaning into the kiss, your chest hovering up and down the faint sound of 'Coming down' by the Weeknd playing downstairs, Geto's fingers stretching your walls open while he licks you down. The squelching sound and feeling sending butterflies to your lower belly. You eventually pull away from Gojo, out of breath. Your legs shuddering, your moans growing louder and louder. "Hmm! 'm cumming! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" You mewl throwing you head back into the pillows. Your body jolting up at each additional suction he makes. He trails kisses up your body, upon your navel, between your breasts, up your neck before settling for your lips. You whine when he pulls away from your dripping cunt Making you crave attention. "What was that sugar ?" He asks caressing your heated cheek. "Felt nice...so nice...wan' more" you shamelessly admit, while still recovering from your high. "Say no more" Gojo says standing between your thighs in an instant.

Fuck it's big. Fucking huge, fully erect. Precum leaking from the tip, veins, lining its girth. "Satoru. Wrap it" Geto says. "Oh yeah" Your eye candy leave and starts searching through the bedside table, taking out a box of condoms. XXL. "Satoru?" You mutter. "Gojo's his last name. Satoru's what close friends and... Special people like you can call him" Geto answers. You nod thoughtfully "is Geto your last name too?" You wonder. "Yeah, but you're gonna have to earn calling me by my name sugar. Be patient you'll get there eventually" . Your cheeks heat at his words, you're being way to confortable for someone who's sprawled out on a bed she's never seen with two men she just met at a party. "Eyes up here sweetie, swallow it all" against your will your eyes drift from Geto's pretty eyes and land on Gojo's- no, Satoru's dick. Fuck are you really about to take all that. Your ex boyfriend was much smaller and frailer that this. "Don't worry darling you can take it" Geto whispers behind your ear, his voice sending butterflies to your stomach.

Satoru's cock nudges your hole, and he slowly pushed his tip in, stealing the words from your mouth, the more he pushed in the more you're feeling hot all over. "Fuck, love me some good tight pussy, you're perfect sweetie" he groans. "So fucking tight s' making me crazy" you whimper at his words, holding for dear life onto Geto's bulky arm. "Ah- are you in?" You babble, feeling your cunt throb around his girth. "Yeah...'bout halfway" he said gathering spit on his thumb and rubbing it messily over your clit. You moan loudly "Arh- shit! S-satoruu!"

His eyes ignore yours and perk up to his mate instead. It happens withing a fraction of a second: Satoru makes head movement. Tilting his head to the right. Geto pins your hands down and before you even have the right to wonder what exactly is happenings his lips crash against yours, his tongue poisoning your senses. *Thrust* your eyes open with, a thunder sensation runs up your spine before your stomach starts burning and you pussy raining. Your eyes roll back and fill with salty water, while you whine, whimper and mewl breathlessly into the kiss. Your pussy fluttering around his girthy cock.

Geto finally lets go of your lips, a string of saliva connecting both of you. Again you're mesmerized by his purple eyes. Until another thrust punches through you. Making your eyes close shut. You gather up strength to get on your elbow. "Satoru! Satoruuu" you whine and purr. "Feeeels too good, wanna cum 'gain" you pout feeling your brain disconnect. It's all you can think about right now. His thick cock stuffing you full, occupying you, fucking the breath in and out of you. "Anything for this thigh ass pussy don't mind be breaking you" he says. His hand grabs your hips but he doesn't thrust anymore, no. He drags your body over and over again on his cock, grunting over your high pitched moans. Fuck his dick was good. Good as fuck it got you screaming shamelessly. "Fuck i'd drown in this pussy anyway sweetie! Fucking tight!" He grunted switching to rutting his hips into onto your ass.

You couldn't be more grateful for the loud music playing downstairs, you had to thank Megan thee Stallion for covering the lewd pornographic sounds you both were making. Your pussy clammed him down, throbbing relentlessly around him. "Go on baby cum some more on my cock" he purred, watching your eyes flutter and chest hover up and down. His hips slam into yours exactly two more times to send you over the edge. Two thrust stretching your pussy to its maximum entent. Your voice rang against the room's walls " 'toru! 'toru! Cumming!" You cry, unfolding on him, a white sticky substance now covering the condom he wore. Inside and out, he grunts and moans over you "Mhm! fucking milking me out huh ?" He pulls out, letting the euphoric feeling wash over you.

You feel silly, so silly you want more, you miss his cock, you want more so much more. Your eyes wander off to Geto, who's eyes are fixated upon the lower part of your body. "How d'you feel doll?" He asks, his arms wrapping around your back to lift you up on your knees. Your teary eyes land back on his, how you missed them. His soft concerned look. "Arh- I wan' more" you're basically just giving out your ability to walk. That's probably not the best of ideas.

He chuckles lightly, " if that's what you wish...turn around sugar." Fuck it you can't get enough. You lay on the bed facing it's end, you can't know for sure but by the sound of it  he'd putting on a condom. In the meantime you gawk at the sight of Satoru pumping his ,now, hard again, cock right in front of your face, you're on the verge of reaching over, drooling and all when you feel Geto's pressing your back into the mattress, locking both your wrists with his one hand.

You whine at the loss of your eye candy. But soon totally forget about it, well maybe not totally but there's another dick on your mind in the moment. He slips in with less effort than Satoru had to use. Still his girth is spreading you apart. "Fuckkkk, so tight, just like that squeeze me good sugar" he grunts, fucking you into the mattress. You're blabbing and whimpering pathetically and he pull you up, with a hand on your lower back making you arch, thrusting into you like a maniac, making your ass bounce repeatedly, "Fuck, so fucking good sugar, 'm never letting you go. Stay like this." He orders through his ragged breathing. His hand slides up front and you know, his fingers attack your clit, you accidentally lean forward. Only slightly but it's enough to have his cock fucking you in all the right spots, "Ah! Geto! F-fuckkkkk s'deep soo— deep!" You coo and mewl, it's barely descriptible, like the tip of his cock was stuffed so deep in you, so fucking far you wondered if it was actually hitting your cervix. Where was all that biology knowledge? "Ah- fffuck I know, I know sugar" He's dragging his cock so far up your cunt, thrusting so hard it vibrated within your entire core.

Your eyes brim with tears. You're barely coherent in your thoughts and words. "Ahh! Geto! Geto! Geto— Mmph!!" You cry out, trying to get his attention. His cock thrusting deeper and deeper at a mind breaking pace. "S-satoruu! Tell him to be n-nice puh- please" you beg tugging on the boy's arm. "Calling out his name while I'm fucking you ? What a slut. Open your mouth." You might have been getting fucked stupid you knew not to ignore his orders. Your lips parted, offering the perfect opening for Satoru to thrust his aching cock into "Repeat after me slut, Su-gu-ru". Fuck you try, try to think and act. Act quick. Satoru's cock filling your mouth, deepthroating you, till you're gagging and choking. Suguru fucking your slick pussy like there's no tomorrow. "Shu guwu mhm!" You whine around Gojo cock, using your tongue to play around his shaft. Making him grunt your name. Youre slowly losing your mind.

A faint ringing sound in the background, not enough to get your attention but enough to attract theirs. You only realize when the white haired boy walk off in direction of the noise, leaving you mouth hanging empty. He returns and points a phone in your face and it takes a few seconds for you to collect your thoughts and read. Fuck, Fuck it's your friend but fuck it feels good

"mhm ? Pick it up" Suguru whines behind you. Roughly slamming his hip into you. "Huh nah! Fuck!" You're done for. The white haired boy display a mischievous smile before tapping the green pick up icon. "Girl ??! Where are you ??" You hear ringing through the phone. You stay quiet. As best as you can pleading Satoru with your eyes. 'Please hang up' you think but he only smiles and plants a kiss on your lips. "Hellooo ???" Your friend says. Suguru's hand wraps around your neck pulling you up close to him. "Speak" your eyes roll back. You're so fucking close. Shit. The boy in front of you kneels on the edge of the bed before his hand slide down between your legs starting to toy with your bud, circling and pressing his thumb over the bud. "Fucking speak" he orders. To think you had called them nice boys few hours ago. You wrap your arms over Satoru's shoulders for support when Suguru's hand leaves your neck to pinch your nipple. "

"Sugu! Sugu! Suguru! Ah! F-fuckkkkk Suguru you're the best! Y-yes the b-best" you cry out. Your orgasm winding you out. Fat tears sliding down your face. Huda beauty setting power and Charlotte tilbury meeting spray might be very good at keeping makeup intact, it was powerless face with this much face fucking, kissing and overall destroying.

Forgetting the jealous man in front of you watching you get fucked like he disappeared. Satoru grabs ahold of jaw. Using his finger to tap on your cheek. "The best huh ? Open that cock sleeve of a mouth for me, slut." Shit. "ahh I'll call you l-later 'm busy" you say as normally as you could. It's not like you just came on the phone. *Bip* He hangs up. And now it just the three of you again.

"Ahh!! I'm sowwy— Ngh!" You cry out. Another spank hitting your already sore ass. Suguru's spanking you like a mad man making you huff and hiccup relentlessly. You can't tell how you feel, the line between pain and pleasure being blurred. "How many times did we have to fucking tell you before you spoke ? Slut" Satoru gripping your hair to shove himself deeper down your throat. Fuck

It's Suguru first. His thrust turn erratic and he's groaning so much. "My pussy to fuck, Mine, 'gon f-fuck you today, tomorrow and every-fucking-day" he grunts, shoving himself  into you one more time, before his long strings of cum are stopped by his condom and he bottoms out. Still he's not done. While you're too focused on giving your best head in stock to Satoru he takes off his condom and throws it away. He lays between you legs, his arms wrapping around your thighs to make you sit on his face and again he's licking long strips of your cum, soiling his chin. Making you whine out of surprise around Satoru's dick, sending shivers down his spine and a cum load down your throat.

"F-fuck it sweetie, don't swallow yet, let me see all'at" you're mewling and brainlessly lagging in your actions, involuntarily riding Suguru's face your tongue lolling out, white sticky strings adorning your mouth. "So good!! Mhm ahhh!! " You moan. And *click!* A nice pic of the three of you having fun added to your photo gallery. You're to busy cumming hard on Suguru's tongue to care. You stretch your arm to Satoru, sticking your tongue out and it's barely a second before he's holding your chin "Swallow it." And like clockwork you do. And using that same clock your thighs shudder around Suguru's face, your toes are curling and you're making the lewdest face at Satoru, sending the blood straight to his dick. "My turn sweetie"

Visibly you were right when you said the night would be hard.

PREVIOUS POST ~~ NAVIGATION ~~ NEXT POST

[juggalogojackerbox]

(Click for higher quality, god forgive me for the walls of text)

Craftelle Luna Shandrus, or "Onycraft" - 30 years old (D.O.B August 16, 1969) - Male (He/Him only) - Species... Unclear?

Onycraft is... a man of many descriptions to be sure. Neurotic, loud-mouthed, perpetually smells like the back of an old shed, loyal to a fault and stubborn like a mule, et cetera. Of course with the sordid and tragic history to match he certainly makes for an, interesting individual. Sure his tendency to casually ignore the laws of reality can be a bit of an annoyance, but if you ignore that, alongside all the telltale signs and side effects of being born out of unethical biologic experimentation and of coming back to life after going through the electric chair, hes just another eccentric alcoholic from rural Maine USA with a heart too big for his own good- Or I guess if you want to put it in "simple terms"

(Obligatory toyhouse link)

(So uhhhhhh, YEAH! Go me for finally posting this reference sheet hooh man, I fucking love this guy so much I hope others will soon enough as well, he is very dear to me and has been for the past like, decade plus? Good lord hes old as piss- I mean he is my first ever oc but still, damn)

(Well anyway, more "side-references" under the cut as a lil bonus here yes, I'm gonna go lay down now)

[hajihiko]

listen idk how to tell you this, and please do not take the tone of this ask to be aggressive, but you have got to start questioning yourself a little more. why are all your least favorite characters the most visibly mentally ill? why are you comfortable saying a character will need several years of therapy before they are able to have friendships? i know youre going to reply to this saying like, oh, i hc other characters as mentally ill, or oh, i'm mentally ill myself - i can't possibly be ableist! and then all your followers will be like yeah ur fine we love you, but im begging you. its okay to dislike characters, but its such an obvious pattern that the ones who have visible, uncomfortable mental health problems that make them unpleasant are, mysteriously, the ones you have the least sympathy for. i do not care whether you consider yourself ableist, whether you headcanon more pleasant characters as mentally ill, whether youre mentally ill yourself - you are posting ableist things. someone doesnt need to be cured or fixed before they should be allowed to have meaningful relationships

Okay, I've read this message over a few times and have it under consideration (? I think that's the phrase).

I do think you got some information wrong, I could be mistaken but after looking through my own posts I think you might've misread something. What I *have* said (before I watched the OVA) is that I dont think Hajime and Nagito should specifically date *each other* until they get therapy / work through their problems (although I do think that, thematically, they make sense as eventual love interests). Again, hadn't watched the OVA, so I was basing it on their interactions in game only, the OVA sort of changes directions from how the game left off.

Never said anything about anyone not having meaningful relationships until they get therapy, and have actually said that a good social net (meaningful relationships, friendly or romantic) are integral to healing from traumatic events. Not saying I haven't given off a bad impression maybe or implied something, if so do tell me because it was probably not intentional and might've slipped by me, but I'm speaking from a factual search of my blog. Not something I have ever said, as far as I can see, and not something I believe anyhow.

I actually mention pretty frequently that I think Nagito (I assume this is mostly about him) is an interesting character that I like, but find complex. My least favourite characters are Hiyoko, Mahiru and Teru (sorry fans of those! I dont mean anything by it it's literally just the vibes) that's why I don't really draw them. The OVA endeared Nagito to me, which is why I've been drawing him on a friendship journey lately, so if you're assuming I don't like him that's more incorrect now than ever.

By all means if you wanna talk about this more openly in chat, I'm down (though my timezone tends to clash). I feel you've put some words in my mouth.

[jj-one]

ೀ⋆ HOW COULD YOU BE SO RECKLESS WITH MY HEART ?!

[ . . . when they find out you were cheating on them ]

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: skz x fem!reader, established relationship genre/tags: smut, angst, crying, begging, punishments, spanking, oral (m & f receiving), choking, manhandling, heavy degradation, humiliation, cuckolding, recording/taking photos (?), voyeurism, piv, rough sex (lmk if i missed anything else!) words: 5.9k

[ note. ] heyyy, i’m back >:3 there’s no explanation for this other than i love angst and whenever i see cheating fics it’s never the reader cheating on them so i wanted to be messy and do this sjhgsjsk, i’m in no way endorsing this type of behavior— it’s for fictional purposes only !!

𖥔 ݁ ˖ Bang Chan

He didn’t know who he was more angry with, you or the son of a bitch who attempted even sliding in your DMs. The fact you accepted the prick’s message and entertained his flirtatious advances tipped him off the edge even further. It didn’t matter if you had zero intention on meeting up or not, it was the principle of it all, though it may not have been physical, emotional cheating still counts as cheating in his book. He felt beyond disrespected by what you did— had the roles been reversed and you found out he was texting other women in such a nature, there’d be hell to pay on his side within a heartbeat. He couldn’t focus much in the studio with a million thoughts burdening his mind, a sudden wave of insecurities come flooding in— was he simply not good enough for you? The realization of you talking to another guy made him feel sick to his stomach, he needed to address it with you before all this anxiety eats him to the core.

“Channie baby!” You rush towards him with open arms when he arrives back home, his black t-shirt felt slightly damp from the rain. “Did you walk home? You’re soaked! I can run you a warm bath an-”

“Nah, I’m good actually.” Chan quickly cuts you off, walking towards the kitchen. He didn’t bother to hug you back when you attempted to either, this was so unlike him which causes you to question his dodgy behavior in more detail.

“Long day at work huh?” You pry some more, doing anything you can to get him to say something.

“Yeah, guess you could say that.” He shrugs, still unbothered by your overall presence. That’s when you decide to come out with it and stop settling for his little mind games.

“Seriously, what’s up with you? Why is it whenever you have a problem you never want to talk it out? You’re always so reclusive and that’s what drives me away so much!” That last part didn’t mean to slip out but sometimes it’s good to hear harsh critique from your partner.

“Oh so that’s what it is? Me being gone for so long makes you wanna fuck around and go talking to other guys for fun? You’re not as sneaky as you think y/n, I know everything you do behind my back.” Chan was more than pissed at this point, he was livid, this was the highest level of betrayal you could achieve. There was no witty rebuttal you could come up with this time, only true remorse for your actions, it didn’t hit you until now that you he considers you as a cheater.

“Ch-channie, you know I w-wouldn’t do anything to hurt you… swear on my life! Just wanna make you happy.” You croak, being falsely accused of something you’re not was devastating— especially coming from him.

“You want to know what’ll make me happy then?” Chan’s voice gets lower, creeping his hands up around your neck. You look up in curiosity with big doe eyes, “W-what?”

“Get on your knees and let me use your face as my personal cum rag, then maybe, just maybe I’ll even consider giving you the satisfaction of my humble forgiveness. That’s only if I’m pleased with how well you take my cock in that whorish mouth of yours.” His merciless demands sent shivers through your body, but you comply to his order, willing to do anything he asks to mend your wrongdoings.

As your legs coil down to land on your knees, you come face to face with the outline of his cock through his gray sweatpants. You immediately went in to palm his erection but he angrily swats you away, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, always so eager to touch someone’s cock, so fucking dirty.. M’gonna teach you a little lesson on what happens to sluts like you, only thinking about dick, that’s all that lives in your mind huh?” He continues to taunt you, belittle you like you were nothing. In retrospect this was supposed to be a “punishment” however, you were enjoying every minute of it. His hand travels up to your chin, propping your face up slightly, grazing his fingers over your bottom lip— noticing a few tears well up in the corner of your eyes.

“Yeah, cry as much as you want honey, it’s not going to get you anywhere here. I’ll just use them as lube to make the pain less prominent for you while you take me further down your throat. You’re gonna wish you had never fucking tried some shit like that again sweetheart.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Lee Know

“Minho, please it’s not what you thi-”

“Oh cut the fucking sob story and save the crocodile tears y/n! I know what I fucking saw, I’m not going to let you gaslight me into this one again.” Minho spat harshly, looking at you as if you were scum beneath him.

You know you fucked up royally, you know this is probably the end of your relationship but at this point you had nothing left to lose; doing everything you could to salvage any bit of sympathy out of him.

“It was just a kiss, it didn’t mean anything I swear! Wooyoung came onto me first!” You weren’t helping your case much, the fact you were still blaming everyone but yourself was astounding to Minho.

“And where’s your accountability in all this huh? You really expect me to believe that he coerced you into making out with him and not a single thought about you having a boyfriend crossed your mind? Must’ve thought I was born yesterday or some shit.” Minho expresses with utter disgust, “did you enjoy kissing that fucking bastard? Was he better at it than me? How many other guys have you sucked face with while I was gone? I bet you there’s so many you can’t even count, can’t believe I wasted all my time with someone as shameless as you are.” His degrading words were more than deserving, you kissed one of his friends and now that he’s found out he’s going to make you pay in a less than permissive way.

Heavy streams of tears roll down your cheeks as you mewl out in pain mixed with ample pleasure, crying out to Minho as he leaves several brute spankings to your rear, leaving your body in a beautifully bruised red state. “Nnngh!” You’d whine as his hand produces another harsh smack to your ass, hips involuntarily jolting forward from the sudden unexpected impact.

“That’s number 23 so far, almost halfway to 50.” He snickered, kneading the overly sensitive flesh. “Better be lucky this is just my hand and not a belt.” After a while of toying with you, it didn’t take long for him to get bored of that idea. Instead, he shifts you on your back now— ordering you to spread your legs far out for him. His hot breath permeating chills down your body, as he inches closer to your face, his lips brushed against yours causing you to pucker but he pulls away.

“Tch, you really think I’m gonna kiss that filthy mouth of yours? You’re gonna have to wash it out with soap before I even think of doing some shit like that.”

More tears fall out as you bear his cruel words, though what you did was morally flawed, his unrelenting demeanor was enough to scare you out of ever thinking of wanting another man. You kept profusely apologizing over and over again, repeating the same lines like a broken record, it was highly pathetic of you; he even chuckled at your sad efforts to be forgiven.

“You keep on saying you’re sorry yet I don’t believe a single word you say.” He cocks his head to the side in amusement, “I just wonder if this was your plan to begin with, to get me all hot and bothered over you. Was this all worth it for you? Seeing me worked up like this? You truly are a sick, twisted individual.” You nervously gulp at his harsh tone, pondering the vicious grin that’s plastered on his face. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what’s soon to come.

“Want to act like a whore then you’ll get treated as such. I’m gonna relish in the fact that I have full control over you, I’m going to enjoy edging you until you can’t physically take it anymore. You can scream and shout to your hearts fullest content but I’ll drown out every bit of it, I’m going to give you pure hell all night.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Changbin

What you had with Changbin was toxic yet you couldn’t seem to escape his hold no matter how hard you tried. When he gets jealous he turns into an absolute menace when in bed with you, as if something otherworldly possessed him to act in such a way. Sex with him is great, almost too good to be true at times, but when he gets angry it’s filled with even more hasty passion— you can’t get enough of it. Your relationship over the course of 8 months have been nothing but turbulent, breaking up and getting back together constantly since you two butt heads a lot, he’s got a stubborn attitude and your smart mouth combined with that is a disaster waiting to spew. But when you’re both on a “break” you still can’t stay away from each other, even if you go around seeing other people you find yourself in Changbin’s bed every night, acting as if you weren’t just telling him to fuck off earlier.

“I heard from one of the guys you fucked Chan, if you’re gonna be a cheating skank at least don’t choose one of my friends.” He gripes, the judgmental glare he’s giving you left you with clear discomfort.

“What is to you if I did fuck him anyway? We’re not even together right now, you have no room to even be upset with me!” You spoke defensively, trying not to let him think his insults were getting to you.

He rolls his eyes in response, he wasn’t having any of it. If it was anyone else but Chan he probably wouldn’t have been as mad, but you went too far this time and now he’s going to show who has true ownership over you.

“You’re just never satisfied with having only guy in your life, always wanting more ‘cause you’re such a greedy little pup. This is why we don’t work out, you’re so easy to move on to the next guy who shows you any slightest bit of attention.” You shook your head at his statement but as his hands wrap the base of your neck, your body stills its movement.

Changbin snickers at your daring courage to challenge him, he ought to remind you that he is the only one you come home to at night, not all those other pieces of shit that just use you to bust a quick nut.

“I don’t like to fucking share what’s mine, you come here every single day to fuck and you still mess around with other guys? The fuck is wrong with you?” The bass in his voice grew deeper as he continued interrogating with questions, “Why would you need anyone else when I’m right here y/n? Are you really that much of a whore you need to get dick from my own goddamn friends? Just when I think you couldn’t go any lower, you pull this shitty stunt on me…”

Truth be told, you have no idea why you did it. Maybe he’s right, you secretly liked the adrenaline of the attention Chan gave you in that moment. You craved the same feeling from Changbin, except he was never emotionally available, he always seemed mentally drained by the relationship. This was the first time in months you’ve seen him act out of his usual nonchalant manner.

“I know you’re upset with me… but please be reasonable. We were— still are on a break, cut me some slack Bin, I’m sorry if I-”

“Fuck an apology. I don’t care enough to accept such bullshit from you anyway.” An apology meant nothing to him, the only thing he wanted was to make you writhe under his touch and wipe out all the memories of Chan from your brain. The strong grip he’s held against your neck tightens as he slams you into the wall behind, biting his lip at the sight of your disgruntled expression.

“Can Chan make you cum as hard with his fingers like I do? Can he make you a drooling mess while having you shaking and sobbing all over my cock? I bet he can’t give you the most mind blowing orgasms like my mouth does, he doesn’t understand your body like I do, no one ever will. I’m the only one that gets to touch you, please you, fuck you— you belong to me. Know your place and tread lightly darling, never forget that.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Hyunjin

It all started when he noticed you getting a little too close with Felix, the way you’d drag out a laugh even if what he said wasn’t that funny, to how you stare into his gaze for far too long while fluttering your eyelashes. Though your gestures were subtle, it didn’t take much for Felix to become a blushy and flustered mess from you being a natural flirt, he never knew how to react since Hyunjin, your boyfriend of almost 2 years, was standing right there. Oddly enough though, Hyunjin didn’t seem to mind it all, in fact it was doing the complete opposite, he was getting slowly turned on by the idea of you hitting on his friends in front of him.

Then the scenarios of you hooking up with Felix became more vivid, he’d think about it constantly throughout the day. It got so bad to a point where it was all he could think about when the three of you were together, he couldn’t shake off the idea anymore— he had to finally act upon it.

“I want you to have sex with Felix in front of me.” Hyunjin proposed randomly to you while watching a movie.

You almost choked on your popcorn as he said that, completely caught off guard by his unexpected statement.

“You want me to what?” You reiterate, still trying to process what he just said, this was seemingly random coming from him and he’s never shown any interest in this kind of topic before.

“Look, I know this is probably weird to you but I’ve been having these fantasies lately…” he slowly trails off but eventually continues, “I think about you cheating on me with Felix a lot, but I- I find it really hot for some reason.”

You couldn’t seem to wrap your head around what he was saying, none of it made sense to you but if this was something he’s expressing interest in then maybe it won’t be so bad to try it.

“So… let me get this straight, you want me to sleep with your best friend and you’re completely okay with it?”

Hyunjin nods in agreement, “pretty much yeah.”

The fact he barely hesitated made you even more uneasy, he must have been thinking about this for a while. Since the whole point of his fantasy was to feel like you were cheating on him, he wanted you make the first move on Felix, to gauge his reaction and test the waters first. By doing so, you’d amp up your flirtatious banter with him— making him even more of a flustered mess than he already is. Hyunjin seemed to be enjoying everything so far, watching you from across the table, acting as a simple bystander. Little did Felix know what was about to ensue a few hours later.

“Fuck yes! Just like that Lix, keep going- mmpfh!” You moan out in pleasure from Felix’s cock hitting all the right spots inside. Your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him in place as he plunged deeper into your walls. He’s not sure not how he got into this situation but the way your pussy clenches around his girth makes his brain short circuit for a second. Your juices continuously gush out onto him as he keeps up a steady pace, pounding into you like no tomorrow.

“God this cunt feels amazing…” he grunts, throwing his head back at the feeling of you swallowing him whole. He almost forgot that Hyunjin was sitting in the corner of the room, observing all of this in amusement. Hyunjin knew he was a total cuck for doing this, letting his own best friend have his way with you and not do a single thing about it, that was the fun in all of it though; he never realized how much he loved you cheating on him. His cock twitched from the sight of you getting fucked by another man, it left him with a sense of inferiority but in a turned on, masochist kind of way. Hyunjin couldn’t help but encourage it, he was probably getting the most gratification out of this.

“So fucking dirty… you like having someone else’s cock fill you up while I watch? Always knew you were such a naughty girl, nothing but a hole for anyone to stretch, you take Lixie so well too. You sure you’ve never cheated on me before in the past? You seem to be enjoying this a little too much.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Han Jisung

As if today couldn’t get any fucking worse, Han was infuriated when he found out you’ve been sexting other guys, he know it’s inherently wrong to be snooping through your phone while you’re not looking— but being the overly protective boyfriend he is he just can’t help it. When he saw all the messages of you talking to those guys the same exact way you talk to him privately, he felt his vision almost go black. He couldn’t wrap his conscience around the idea of the person he once thought was going to spend all of eternity with could stab in the back like this and betray him in such a vile way. It wasn’t easy for him to accept the truth of your cheating habits, Han was in complete denial himself.

He was more so disgusted with the fact those men thought they even stood a chance with you, there’s no way in hell he’d even let you anyone touch or come near you. Sadly, his entire world revolved around the sole purpose of keeping you happy, he’d rather die than have you out of his life. Even if that meant turning a blind eye and allowing you to continue with this unacceptable behavior. All he wanted was some simple answers, he just wants to understand why you’d do something like this in the first place.

“Just tell me where I’m going wrong babe, please. Tell me and I’ll fix it. We can work through this, just don’t leave me baby. You’re all I have, I can’t lose you too… please, I’m not ready to give up on us yet, I need you.” The glossiness of tears welling up in his eyes weighed tons on your morality, you should be the one who’s saying all of this— not the other way around. You should feel ashamed of what you did, all the damage you’re causing him but you have nothing to say; not a single word left your deceitful mouth.

“Do I really not deserve any explanation? Not even a simple, “I’m sorry.”? Is this what it’s really come to now, can’t even look me in the eye and apologize for having me out here looking stupid, remaining loyal to you even when I’m tempted at times… I’ve shown you nothing but love and honesty while all you’ve been doing is lying to my face and planning to hook up with other guys while you’re cooped up right next to me, do you know how worthless that makes me feel y/n?” He continued pouring all his emotions out, yet you still give him a blank stare, as if none of this was affecting you.

“Answer me y/n, why do you keep fucking lying to me?!” Though he kept asking, you still didn’t have a clear response for him, you yourself couldn’t even understand why you did it, it was more a spur of the moment thing. You simply wanted the attention, the thrill of it all, it was a horrifying revelation but you had no other excuse.

“Han, I-I’m really sorry for what I’ve done. Words can’t express enough how deeply guilty I feel… I’m just- I don’t know- maybe this relationship just isn’t working out for me anymore.”

“Shh shh, don’t say things you don’t mean, take it back now baby.”

What the hell are you doing to him? Was this really your way of saying that you wanted to officially break up? The sudden turn of events from wanting to work things out to the possibility of losing you made him regret being too harsh on you, though it was more than warranted, he wanted to keep this relationship alive, he couldn’t succumb to the idea of you walking out of his life this easily.

“Are you saying you want to end t-this…?” His voice cracks, visibly shaken up by your apparent coldness.

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best honestly... You deserve someone better than me.” It may have been semi-manipulative of you to say that but it was truth, he did deserve better, someone who wasn’t going to cheat on him and will properly communicate when they want out of something. “You’re just too… clingy for me Han. You’re overbearing at times, I want to be the one for you I really do, but I’m not. This isn’t working anymore for me, I know how selfish this sounds but I miss being single…” your confession hit him hard, he didn’t want to accept it, not when you made him the happiest he’s ever been.

“As much as it kills me to hear that, I’ll respect it.. but can you at least let me touch you… just for last time’s sake..? I’d be lying to myself if I said I wouldn’t miss eating you out every day, getting to make you feel good, watching you moan out my name as you cum for me. Will you let me do it again, please? I’ll let you go in peace if that’s what you really want, just let me show you what you’ll be missing afterwards.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Felix

“Why have you been so cold towards me lately? Is there something that’s been going on that you won’t tell me about? You can tell me anything, I swear— I’m here to listen to your concerns babe.” Felix wouldn’t stop bombarding you with a plethora of questions, he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. Soon as you get home from work you go straight upstairs without talking, you barely acknowledge him anymore and it’s been driving a wedge between your relationship and how you coexist together.

“I’m fine, seriously, stop asking!” You hiss, trying to shrug him off as you make your way into the bathroom.

You know what you’re saying is farthest from the truth, you’ve been harboring massive amounts of guilt since you made an irreversible mistake a week ago. The night you drunkenly hooked up with someone else at a nightclub— which has been weighing heavily on your conscience every waking moment. You couldn’t even look at him the same anymore, you’ve completely killed the spark between each other, he may not have known it yet but you had to be the one to break it to him.

“C’mon y/n… I know you’re clearly not okay. I’m not an idiot, I know how distant you’ve been acting, it’s quite obvious actually. You won’t even let me touch you anymore, I don’t understand how someone can just flip a switch like that. Is there someone else you’re seeing? Be honest, whatever you have to say to me I can handle it… just tell me the truth please y/n!” Felix couldn’t help but tear up as he begged for answers, his pleas were taking a toll on you— tugging at your heartstrings. It was time to come clean once and for all.

“I-I cheated on you last week..” you anxiously mutter, you couldn’t believe such a sentence came out of your mouth.

“You what…?” He blinks rapidly, in utter disbelief of your sudden admission, mouth slightly agape from shock, he felt his world crumbling beneath him. You kept making all the sorry excuses you could, saying you were drunk and how much it meant nothing to you, the more you tried explaining though, the more he didn’t want to listen.

“So you slept with someone else a week ago and didn’t even bother telling me ‘til now? Un-fucking-believable…” He scoffs, unable to even look at you in the same innocent light he once did.

Stumbling over words as you muster up the nerve to continue asking for forgiveness, it was truly pitiful of you to even think he’d hold any compassion for you, it was your actions that led you here to begin with.

“Felix please don’t leave- I know I fucked up but I can make it up to you, p-promise!”

“And how the fuck are you gonna do that y/n? Build a time machine to go back and change everything? Do you hear how idiotic that sounds? You must be high out of your mind right now.”

“Lix j-just hear me out, I was blackout drunk and didn’t fully understand the consequences of it a-”

“That doesn’t make it any better y/n! Fuck, all the shit I do for you and you hit me with this lame pile of shit, I’m so through with your sorry ass, it’s over.” You wished you could take back everything you did but what’s done is already done, there is no redo or fixing any part of the past.

“Strip.” He aggressively orders in his deep voice, you were hesitant on doing it at first but it wasn’t until he started doing it for you that you eventually complied to his rules.

You felt as though there was nothing you could do in this situation but submit to him, taking off every piece of clothing— leaving you in nothing but your tiny thong that barely covered anything. He forcibly makes you get onto your knees, facing the apparent bulge through his jeans— he’s never been the type to like seeing you cry nor completely powerless but this was different. He wanted revenge, wanted to humiliate you in the same way you did to him.

“I’m gonna post these in the groupchat just to show how much of a greedy, fucking whore you are.” Felix couldn’t even recognize himself, he’s never been so domineering as he was now. He kept pushing your head further down as you took his cock deep, down your throat, his hips bucking into a steady rhythm that made you see flashes of white and stars combined. After he snaps a couple shots of you sucking him off, he immediately sends them to all of his friends, not having a single care in the world what they do with those photos. It was simply payback for what you did, you deserved this after all.

“I hope one day you realize how good you had it with me, you fucking slut— you’ve completely ruined my trust forever. You’re the most heartless, conniving person I’ve ever known in my life and I mean every bit of it. Don’t come cryin’ to me once this is all over, I don’t wanna hear it, pack your shit and get out of my house. I should’ve known you were nothing but a damn nightmare since I heard about you.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Seungmin

Never in his lifetime would he think of you ever pulling a stunt like this, finding out you did some of the most unspeakable acts with someone in the same house you two share together. It was the biggest slap in the face to him, completely crushed his ego. Seungmin gave you a chance to explain yourself but as you continued he couldn’t bear to keep listening anymore.

“How could you even do this to me, just lied to my face this whole fucking time y/n, I trusted you.” He proceeds to go on a mindless tangent, “do you have any ounce of morals? Dignity? You played me so bad and I fell for every bit of it, fell for all the lies you’ve been feeding me for months on end.”

You want to give as honest of a response as possible but the lump in your throat causes you to stir, the only reaction was to sob in this moment.

“Awe, is that a tear I see? Is the wittle cheating slut gonna start cwying for me?” He mocks condescendingly, tilting his head to the side in fake amusement. This only made you cry more, feeling all types of shame and guilt for your heinous actions, what you did was unacceptable, unforgivable. Seungmin saw right through you, he knew you were only crying because you got caught, not because you were truly remorseful. Everything about you seemed inauthentic, he doesn’t know who you are anymore truthfully.

“I- I can explain.” You dolefully attempt to speak, nothing would help your case anyway, it didn’t matter how hard you tried.

“What is there to explain y/n? I saw you fucking another guy in our bed, I think that should be self explanatory in itself.” He’s more than right, however, you still manage to reason with him.

“It was just sex, he didn’t matter to me at all like you do, I’m sorry— I know you’ll never forgive me but all I can say is I’m really sorry… you’ll probably want to kick me out after this and I don’t blame you- just give me time to fix this and I’ll do anything to gain your trust back!”

Seungmin wishes he could’ve recorded this conversation, the way you’re so oblivious to how this is hurting him more than you could even comprehend. He had every right to yell at you, tell you how much of a terrible person you are, but he won’t do that, he can’t— it was all too much for him to handle.

“You want to regain my trust after I just saw my own girlfriend of one year and a half getting her back blown out by some random dude in my fucking bed?” The audacity you had was insane, you were acting more than entitled.

Reconciling the detriment of your relationship was futile by now. You had no more fight left within, seemingly ready to give up on everything you’ve built thus far. Seungmin notices you look mentally checked out of all this, causing him to be deeply irritated. He really wanted to give you benefit of the doubt but you weren’t budging one bit.

“You know what I despise the most y/n? Liars. They absolutely disgust me.” He seethes, pushing you backwards onto the bed you just cheated on him in. Your eyes roll up as you feel the shuddering sensation of teeth sinking into your neck, legs flailing around as you had both arms pinned down.

“Did it feel good to lie to my face? Is this some kind of demented kink you have? I bet you don’t even give a shit how I’m feeling right now.” His tone became more serious as he ranted, lashing everything out on you. When the slight contact of his cock brushes against your clothed slit, the immediate response you gave was bucking your hips, receiving a sinister glare from him. His legs lock your thighs in place, unable to shift a muscle. Your whines only grew louder, he was never going to give you the satisfaction of moving.

“You think I’m really gonna let you move? Silly little slut, that’s only reserved for girls that aren’t lying cheaters like you. I’m so going to make you pay for this, you have no idea… I better not hear a peep outta you and I sure as hell better not feel you make any sudden movement. There will be harsh outcomes if you try it, I fucking dare you.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Jeongin

You knew you were in such deep shit once he arrives back at your apartment, Jeongin texted you this morning— exposing all the dirty shit you’ve been doing in secret. He was practically speeding down the highway with rage, thinking about you getting off with some other guy and playing in his face knowing the whole time what you were doing. The fact you kept repeating over text how sorry you were for your actions just aggravated him even more, he was about to give you the rudest awakening. Jeongin bursts through the door, fuming as he walks in to only be welcomed by your continuous begs and pleads. It was quite pitiful seeing you like this, usually he likes seeing you on your knees but not in this context…

Your lips tremble as you spoke, barely able to chalk up the will to keep going, you wanted to show your sincere remorse but Jeongin wasn’t going to let you off the hook so easily.

“I don’t think you should be apologizing to me. You should be apologizing to yourself for how much of a huge slut you are.” He scorns viciously, “you have no one but yourself to blame, this could’ve all been easily avoided if you’d just close you’re fucking legs for once!” It wasn’t like him to get this loud and it was the first time he’s yelled at you like this.

“I just- I don’t know what I was thinking babe, I wasn’t in the right mind.” The more you try and justify your despicable cheating only aggravates him further. He wants nothing to do with you after this, but that doesn’t mean he won’t give you the most deranged post breakup sex as a final farewell and good riddance.

“Guess you really can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, so I’ll just fuck you like one instead.” You swallow his words harshly, it pained you to hear these things come out of his mouth but he was right.

To put it simply, you were for the streets; there wasn’t one redeemable quality in you. Jeongin demands you to stand up, telling you to get on the couch with your ass up in the air since looking at your face would only make his dick go soft.

“Who’d you cheat on me with, huh?” He asks sternly.

“It d-doesn’t matter anymore.” You try reasoning but he won’t allow you to hide anything else from him.

“I’m not going to ask again, tell me who you fucking cheated on me with, now.” A hand harshly spanks you from behind, letting a tiny whine escape as you dig further into the couch to brace yourself.

“B-beomgyu...”

“Gyu?? Are you fucking serious, of all people it had to be one of my closest fucking friends? You really are the biggest whore after all.” Jeongin was so done with you at this point, he just wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t physically walk anymore, it was only right for what you’re putting him through.

He slid your panties aside and pushed himself in without warning, making you scream out as he held your hips aggressively in place.

“Fuckk- you’re still so tight, did he even fuck you? Barely stretched this pussy out for me.” He grunts, producing deeper strokes, feeling your ass cheeks clap against him. “I fucking hate you, so much.”

The waterworks only continue as he kept degrading you, this was all you’ve succumb to now, just a toy for anyone to use as much as they please. Your head slightly bobs up from his length ramming harder into you, he only pushes your face further into the cushion as he berates you more with disdain, “Didn’t I say don’t move? A useless hole like you should know when to take directions, always so fucking eager to screw someone else other than me, so goddamn pathetic.” He hissed, ignoring your cries for him to slow his pace but only gets more hostile with you.

“God.. will you shut your fucking mouth already? No matter how much you cry and beg I’m not going to stop. You’ve got some real nerve to even be acting outta line, wow, you truly disgust me. Gonna make you feel the same pain I’m feeling— don’t care how bad it hurts, I’ll make you regret ever even meeting me.”

[toruro]

— ✧ exes and oh's

pairing. choi seungcheol x reader

description. when your ex-best friend breaks up with your other ex-best friend, you’re stuck between keeping this door (that you never wanted closed) shut tight, and making amends. naturally, choosing to let your heart open to the person who ripped it apart isn’t the easiest of decisions, but then again, life has a funny way of making you choose.

tags. smut (18+), UNEDITED (i wrote this mostly when i was half asleep, there will be missing words), angst, oral (f receiving), petnames, past toxic relationships/ friendships, referenced cheating, alcohol consumption (+ mentions of vomiting + poor decisions abt alcohol in general), rebuilding relationships, trust issues, joshua is extremely protective it's honestly a little annoying, a disgusting amount of internal monologue i am So sorry, theres a lot in this one so if i missed anything lmk

fic playlist.

w/c. 15.8k+

a/n. 1K SPECIAL SORRY IT'S A LITTLE LATE...anyways i really tried to make sure this wasn't super corny but i prob got carried away i can't even tell anymore. update. this is cringe as hell

Your day today is slow, like every other. You aren’t sure why you expect anything different—well maybe you do know. It’s the optimist in you, a small voice in your head says, as you drop down your bookbag next to Joshua’s chair, the two of you slipping into your seats. Optimism my ass, you shoot back at yourself.

“Can you cover my shift?” Joshua asks, turning to you on his chair. You two have just finished your econ lecture and are sitting in the library to catch up on notes.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you give him a wary look. “Joshua,” you whine, pulling out your notebook and pen down.

“C’mon you said you needed some extra cash, and I need the night off anyways. I’ll get you back with something,” he promises as you narrow your eyes.

“Now what do you have that makes you need the night off?”

“Well there’s this party—” he pauses when you huff.

“And what’s to say I wouldn’t like to go to this party?” you retort, slightly annoyed that he expects you to cover his shift over something like this.

Joshua signs, running a hand through his hair. “Well I can say that I don’t think you would be especially keen on going,” he tells you honestly, and then when you catch the look in his eyes you falter.

You think about probing further, but second guess yourself—you probably shouldn’t. It isn’t good for your heart. You are trying to work on putting yourself, your heart, first, but as they say, curiosity killed the cat. “Why do you say that?” you ask, and Joshua gives you that look.

He knows where this is going, and he’s slightly disappointed in you for going against your personal goal of not bringing it up. Then again, he doesn’t control you, and while he can try to guide you down the path of reparations and healing, he can’t force you anywhere.

“Cheol’s birthday is tomorrow,” he tells you like you don’t know. Like you don’t still have it marked down in bright blue sharpie on your calendar. It’s only been six months since you’ve last talked to him, and you don’t feel the need to buy a whole new calendar for the sake of getting rid of his and Yejin’s name.

That, and you don’t think taking his name off would help you forget anyways. Ten years, you think to yourself, ten years shouldn’t be disposed of as easily as a calendar, although it seems Yejin and Cheol had no problem doing just that.

Joshua catches you zoning out. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No it’s okay,” you sigh, leaning back in your chair. “It’s not like I didn’t know, I don’t know why I asked.” Joshua looks at you sadly.

“The party…it’s going to be a big one, since Soonyoung is throwing it. You can come if you really want, you probably won’t run into Seungcheol anyways,” Joshua offers.

You scrunch up your face, shaking your head. “And Yejin? Either way, I don’t want to even think about how it would look if I showed up to a party for his birthday.”

Joshua gives you a wear look. “You don’t know?”

“Huh? Know what?”

“Cheol and Yejin broke up a while ago.”

“Oh.” You blink once, then twice, staring down at your shoes before inhaling sharply.

“I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

You shrug, responding, “Whatever. Don’t apologize. I don’t have any business with either of them anyways.”

“Okay but—”

“Seriously Josh,” you mutter, turning to him so he can see the pleading look on your face. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah? I’ll cover your shift.” Joshua gives you a tentative look, opening his mouth before you stop him. “Seriously,” you repeat, “It’s fine.”

And the truth is, you are fine. Sure it hurts when you think about them too much, and even if they are broken up, it doesn’t really make you feel much better, but you are okay. Your days are often dull, yes, but you aren’t unhappy. You’re content, and being in your final year of university, you figure that being content is all you need.

Excitement and love are not quite at the forefront of your mind, and while it does cause a nasty knot to build up in your throat when you think about Cheol and Yejin and all the fun times you have spent with them, you quietly tell yourself that things just played out the way they were supposed to.

You tell yourself that if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to work out. That your life had plans, and that those plans didn’t include them.

As you walk home, you scoff to yourself, thinking about how Cheol and Yejin were willing to give up ten years of friendship with you—with each other—for something that didn’t even last half a year.

Of course it’s painful, but at the end of the day, you’re okay with that.

“You’re pathetic,” Yejin spits out, and you feel yourself growing dizzy. Her animosity that’s more apparent than ever is all you can think about it, and it has your jaw going slack. “How could you—” her face contorts into something so full of hate that you brace yourself for her next words, “How could you do this to me?”

You still, blinking as you let the words sink in. You want to argue, to fight back, to defend yourself, but the words fall flat on your tongue. You want to scream, I didn’t do anything to you, want to tell her that your feelings aren’t there to hurt her, but you can’t. “Yejin—”

“It doesn’t even matter now,” she cuts you off, sucking in a sharp breath, her face that was momentarily scrunched up into anger is now relaxing, looking back at the door where music booms from the party.

“Are you just going to leave?” you manage to ask, steading your breaths as best as you can. Yejin looks at you and from the way she’s slightly taller than you, you nearly cower back in anticipation for her next words.

Yejin always did tend to have a bit of a mean streak, but only towards those she felt had wronged her—never to you. Always had a snarky comment to throw, but never in your direction. Always ready to be on the offense if she felt she needed to, and for the first time in your ten years of friendship, you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.

Yejin never answers your question. “Cheol likes me,” she tells you as if it isn’t obvious. As if you haven’t mulled over that fact for the past month, the tell-tale lips of Joshua spilling you Seungcheol’s secrets many nights before. “He doesn’t like you.” Yejin pauses. “Because you’re boring.”

Your world stills. Everything was spinning in a hazy maze a moment ago but now it all has paused and her words are hitting you in slow motion. “What?” you try to ask but your voice comes out hardly above a whisper.

Yejin scoffs, and you know in this moment that that is the meanest thing she could have done. “You’re boring,” she repeats, “and that’s why—” she takes a deep breath, “—even if he didn’t like me, he wouldn’t like you, so I’m telling you now to give up.”

You gulp, and the words spill out of your mouth before you can stop. “I was never going to make a move on him,” you retort, finally finding the words stuck in your throat, and while you gain confidence for a moment, it withers away when you catch the amused look on Yejin’s face. “I can’t believe you would think I’d go for him if you liked him.”

“That’s your problem!” Yejin exclaims exasperatedly. “You were going to do nothing even if none of us found out,” she spits out, and you feel your knees growing wobbly again as Yejin continues. “You claim you love him but you’re just willing to give him up like that? That’s pathetic. You are pathetic.”

She turns on her heel, and you call out to her one last time. “Are you—”

“Get Joshua to drive you home,” is the last thing she ever says to you.

Taking Joshua’s shift is boring. Not that you expect anything different—getting you excited for work is not one of your optimism’s capabilities. Evenings at the coffee shop are busier than one would expect, but after considering the fact that it’s the only one open past seven p.m. on campus, the crowd begins to make sense.

You spend your time making drinks for the many students who are—much like yourself—simply trying to get through the night, but you would be lying if you say you don’t notice that the turn out is a little…smaller. After all, it is a Friday evening and Soonyoung’s parties are infamous on campus for being…well for being thrown by Soonyoung.

He’ll invite anyone and everyone, so you wouldn’t be surprised if your instagram feed will be filled with nothing but pictures from Cheol’s party tonight. Not that you care. You don’t want to go, you have no reason to.

Still, you wonder: would Yejin show up? If they did break up, like Joshua told you, what were the circumstances? Are they still friends? What happened? Why did they—

No.You shouldn’t do this to yourself, you can’t. Yejin isn’t your friend anymore, and neither is Cheol. What happened between them shouldn’t be your business—it isn’t. Leave it alone, you tell yourself, tapping your foot on the ground.

Yet, every time you look over the empty seats that fill the cafe, you’re reminded of just why not many people are here tonight. Seungcheol. Chewing on your bottom lip, you go against your better judgment and pull out your phone, immediately tapping on instagram.

Your stories are filled with a plethora of videos and pictures from the house that Cheol shares with Jeonghan and some other friends. It’s dark both inside and out, the only thing illuminating the house being led lights and pool lights in the backyard.Fondly, you remember last summer and Cheol’s birthday, which was spent at his house with you. Yejin, and some other friends in his pool from morning ‘til night. Fun times, you think, and you quietly wonder if Cheol will remember those memories today, or if he will leave them in his dust.

Tapping through the stories, you purse your lips together, inhale sharply, and begin to make yourself a drink. It’s too late in the evening for you to be thinking about this.

Seungcheol’s head is pounding. He can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears and then there’s the music that has its vibrations going straight to his heart as he stumbles over his own words.

Lights everywhere flashing different colors and he isn’t sure when one cup turns into two, which turns into three, which turns into fuck-knows-how-many until Jeonghan is grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pushing him into an empty room, calling Joshua over.

Again, Seungcheol’s head is pounding. And he fucking loves it.

Joshua and Jeonghan, on the other hand, are frustrated. Cheol is trying to push through them, clawing for the door as his legs hit each other in a mangled mess until he’s falling onto them as they hold him back.

“You guys can’t fucking do this,” he whines, throwing his head back as he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“When you said you were going to go crazy tonight,” Joshua mutters, “I didn’t realize you meant literally. Are fucking insane?” he hisses.

Cheol gives him an angry look, seeming to sober up for a moment as he straightens his back. “It’s my birthday, giving me a fucking break.”

“If you keep acting like this it’s going to be your death day soon too,” Jeonghan warns, earning him a glare.

“Seriously, do you want alcohol poisoning or something?” Joshua agrees. “Don’t drink anything else for the night, I’m serious.”

“And if I do?” Seungcheol challenges.

“We’ll tell Soonyoung to call it all off. You know he’ll do it if we ask,” Jeonghan states simply.

Cheol scoffs, but doesn’t reply, exercising his last bit of common sense to understand what Jeonghan and Joshua say, they mean. He needs to tread lightly.

Not that he cares much. He hasn’t got much to lose—Cheol only suggested this party because he knew that if it was anything short of big, he’d be reminded of the missing holes in his life right now.

His plan was unsuccessful, clearly, because even with cups after cups of spike punch, he’s still mulling over the fact there’s over a hundred people in this house and not a single one of them is you. Cheol had asked Joshua to bring it up with you—asked him to lead you in the right direction. The right direction being him.

He wasn’t really sure what his expectations were when he suggested it, but now it’s clear that Cheol really was expecting you to show up. He didn’t prepare for any other outcome, especially not one like this, where he’s wasted before the clock even strikes twelve. He’s on the verge of passing out when Joshua leaves the room, only Jeonghan and Cheol in each other’s presence as the former makes sure his elder doesn’t collapse.

Seungcheol’s head is pounding and he thinks it feels fucking great.

Fuck, he really needs to throw up.

You’re back at the cafe two days later, once again spending your evening serving students. It’s a bit of a lighter day, so only you and Jeongyeon are working, catching up and making light conversation through the day.

“Tired?” you ask her, when you catch her leaning against the counter with a wince.

She nods, turning up to look at you. “Chemistry is killing me. I want to cry just thinking about my next exam,” whe groans, throwing her head back. “I think humans have evolved too much. There’s no reason we should have explore this much about like, fucking atoms. Why can’t we just be happy creatures—ignorance is bliss, after all.”

You laugh out loud, not bothering to look at the door when you hear the bell of its opening ringing. “Take a break, yeah? I’ll manage for the next half an hour, if you just wanna sit and chill for a bit,” you offer, Jeongyeon letting out a sigh of relief.

“Are you serious?” she exclaims before hugging you tightly. “I fucking love you,” she says, pulling away and hopping down the back counter and to the back room while you smile widely before turning around to face the new customer at the counter.

Your smile drops faster than you can blink.

Seungcheol’s smile, at one time, was among one of your favorite sights on the whole damn planet. Now, you can’t help but turn away, too scared to look him in the eye. Scared that if you look long enough, you’ll find something you aren’t ready to see.

Don’t falter, you tell yourself. You haven’t been healing for months for it to amount to nothing. “What can I get you?” you ask casually, looking down at the cashier tablet, pretending to look through the catalog.

You didn’t look at him long enough to see if his smile vanished just as quickly as yours, to see if he expected you, to know what he was thinking at all honestly. You aren’t ready for that, and it’s pathetic, you think to yourself.

“Uh,” is the first thing you hear Cheol say to you after six months. You aren’t sure what you’re expecting him to follow with, but it is most definitely not, “Don’t you know my usual?”

It takes all your self control to not snap your eyes up and say, of course I know your usual, I never forgot, how could I forget, it’s always an iced latte with—“No, sorry, I don’t,” you say flatly, still not looking at him.

Cheol is slightly surprised by your choice of words, partly because when Joshua told him that your door was shut and not going to budge open, he didn’t really believe him. Maybe he knew he wouldn’t be able to hit it straight off the bat when he tried to reconcile, but he definitely wasn’t expecting this.

Not that he planned this—he knew you worked here, just not when. Cheol was just struck with luck when he walked in, ready to order a coffee when his eyes landed on your familiar figure this evening, and as an opportunist, he just couldn’t turn down the chance to try and talk to you.

Of course now, he isn’t sure if this course of action was the right one—you were never cold, not to him, not to Yejin, not to anyone really. It’s weird, he thinks.

“Iced latte with hazelnut syrup, please,” he replies with a small nod of acceptance. Joshua was right. Your door was locked.

“Your drink will come out over there,” you say, pointing over to the left counter. “Cash or card?”

He thinks it’s worth a shot to try again. “When was the last time I used anything but card?” Cheol accepts defeat when you don’t crack a smile, not even one bit.

“So you’re using card?” you ask plainly, turning the tablet over so he can swipe down. Cheol chuckles nervously as he pulls out his wallet. He doesn’t say anything after that, and for that, you are grateful.

Once he’s done paying, you turn on your heel quickly and make his drink. You don’t look up, don’t turn back—you don’t know if you’re ready to see him watching you, if he is at all. You aren’t sure what you’d like more: having him watching you, or having him not.

Gulping down a hard lump in your throat as you wait to pull the shot of espresso, you think deeply. It’s just how Jeongyeon said it, you figure: ignorance is bliss.

Jeongyeon thinks parties aren’t your thing. “They just don’t suit you,” she explains when you’re working one afternoon.

You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean not my thing?”

She shrugs, carrying in some boxes of cups. “It’s not a bad thing—I’m not calling you boring or anything—I’m just saying. You’re a very work-at-a-coffee-shop kind of girl, and not a let’s-go-party kind of girl, you know?”

The word bounces around in your mind. Boring.

“I can be both,” you huff. “You’re only saying this because I actually do work at a coffee shop.”

“Whatever,” Jeongyeon shrugs. “Come with me tonight then?”

You scrunch up your face. “Tonight? I work tonight,” you tell her with a frown.

“Get Hyunwoo to cover your shift then, I’m sure he’ll do it,” she suggests. You sigh, pulling out your phone to text your other co-worker.

“Okay, but if he says no it isn’t my fault.”

“Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da,” Jeongyeon mutters, waving her hand at you with a sly grin. “So I’ll see you tonight?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.

“If Hyunwoo is willing to give up his Saturday evening, I guess so.”

“Ugh, he better agree. Tell him if he does it, I’ll set him up on a date with Nayeon.”

You roll your eyes with a small giggle. “You need to stop using her to get what you want—she’s going to stop being your friend if you keep setting her up on dates so people can do you favors.”

“If that ends up happening…” Jeongyeon’s voice trails off as she glances at you. “…well that’s what you’re here for!”

It’s how you end up putting on some cute pants and black crop top that you’ve been saving for a night just like. Jeongyeon and you are ubering the way to whoever’s house this party is at, and you’re pretty sure neither of you have a good idea of how you’re supposed to get home, but that’s a problem for another time.

When you arrive, the house is already packed, but the two of you don’t have too much trouble slipping through the open door and into the crowd of people that fill each room. You haven’t been to a party in a while, and the loud music along with the rush you naturally feel when you're around so many people starts to return to you.

You see many faces—mostly ones you recognize, but the names fall flat on your tongue. Like you said, it’s been a while since you’ve come to a party.

When you make your way to the kitchen, you’re greeted by a kind, familiar voice. Smiling at Joshua as he calls out your name, you give him a sideways hug before you make your way to the counter with all the drinks. “Fancy seeing you here,” he teases, and you push him lightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“Jeongyeon invited me last minute…I had to get Hyunwoo to take my shift,” you explain.

“Ah, that makes sense,” and there’s a funny look on his face when he says it.

“What’s with that face?”

“Nothing! It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“You know Hyunwoo likes you, right?” Joshua says casually, pouring you a cup of punch. Usually, you don’t trust what other people hand to you, but Joshua is a safe exception.

“What?” you ask, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. “You’re lying. Did he tell you that?”

“Not directly…but it’s obvious. Seriously, who gives up their Saturday evening unless they’re making major bank or they have a crush.”

“Whatever. He’s a sophomore,” you murmur, taking a sip of the drink. It’s so sweet it almost masks the taste of alcohol. “Plus, he’s not my type. And I’m not interested in dating. I have too much going on,” you list.

“Please,” Joshua scoffs. “Your thesis and being a barista is not too much.”

“Shut up! I’m here, at a party, aren’t I?”

“Will you come to the next one?”

“That depends.”

“On?” he asks hopefully.

“Hm,” you hum, tapping a finger on your chin. “When, where, who, why, how.”

“Ugh, you’re seriously annoying about this. Just show up when I call you next, okay?”

“No promises. This night better be good if you want me to live up to that.”

“Well I’m not throwing this party so I can’t control that.”

You grin. “Too bad.” You’re having fun, you realize, even if it’s with the comfort of Joshua. You’re glad Jeongyeon brought you here. Joshua glances around for a moment and then back at you, opening his mouth to speak. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell him before he can say anything, “I can take care of myself.”

“I know, I just—” he stops himself. You know where this is going, and Joshua knows he doesn’t really need to say it. Cheol is here.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, patting his shoulder firmly, and in this moment you aren’t lying. Not to yourself, not to Joshua. It is okay. You are okay.

He watches you for a moment and then nods, ruffling your hair for a moment before waving goodbye to head off in some other room. You spend the next few minutes tossing your now empty cup to the side, heading off to some other room to find Jeongyeon. She’s dancing with some friends and the moment her eyes lay on you, she notices the deep flush to your face.

Calling you over, you dance with Jeongyeon, music blaring in your ear as you’re pressed up against her and other girls you’re sure you knew the names of at some point in your life. It’s exhilarating for a moment, but then suddenly, after around fifteen minutes, it isn’t.

“I’m going to head out for a breather,” you tell Jeongyeon loudly over the music, and she doesn’t seem to hear your words but with the way you’re pointing at the back door, she figures out what you’re saying. Nodding with a thumbs up, she smiles before turning back to dance along with her friends as you slip out of the huddle of people.

You notice a familiar face from the corner of your vision, but you feel too hot and the air is too stuffy for you to bear another second longer, escaping to the backyard.

It’s quiet outside. The night air is cool, and you now realize why no one is out in the pool like they usually are. Looking down at your feet, you contemplate your next actions for a moment before rolling up the hem of your pants until your knees and sitting by the edge of the pool, dipping in your legs.

You hiss at the cool feeling for a moment, but quickly adjust—you’ve been feeling too hot all evening and this is exactly what you need to take a moment to calm down. Alcohol has never quite been your best friend, the liquid always sending a flush of heat through your whole body.

The water soothes you, and you feel at peace for a moment. Then there’s the sound of the door sliding open and a familiar patter of footsteps thuds against the concrete.

“Isn’t the water cold?” Jeonghan says casually, standing next to you.

You shrug. “I needed to cool down.”

“Hm, fair,” he murmurs, sitting down himself and crossing his legs on the concrete edge of the pool. “It’s been a minute.”

“Has it?” you reply quietly. Yeah. It’s only been six months. You don’t let Jeonghan know that you’ve been counting.

“You don’t stop by to drop off the old pastries anymore,” he says. “Mingyu tries to make croissants now, but it’s the one thing he isn’t great at baking.”

You aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol speaking but you’re blunt when you respond, “That sucks.” Jeonghan laughs quietly, nodding. He isn’t used to you being like this —when Cheol said you were different, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t really this.

“How’s school? You working on your thesis and shit?”

You shrug. “I guess. Busy times.”

“You’re being awfully cold,” Jeonghan says with a tick of his tongue. “D’you not have any drinks—you’re always more fun when you’re drunk.”

“Thanks,” you mutter with furrowed eyebrows. Yejin used to tell you that.

“Sorry, that was rude,” Jeonghan says quickly when he notices how you still. “I didn’t mean it like that—I mean, I guess everyone is more fun when they’re drunk.” You chuckle a little at that and he lets out a sigh of relief at the fact that he’s able to get you to loosen up, even just a little. There’s an awkward silence that settles over the two of you as he watches you as you kick your feet in the water. Jeonghan thinks he might take his chances.“He misses you.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes, and you really hope Jeonghan doesn’t notice. You hate how you know who he’s talking about right away, not needing to say the name. “Jeonghan,” you say, and you know that your wobbly voice gives it all away, “Do you really think that’s fair?”

He says your name, and you turn away.

“Do you think that’s fair to me?” Jeonghan doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “He misses me? What about me? What about how I feel? Has Cheol thought about that? Has he?”

“I’m not trying to say it’s fair, I’m just telling you how he’s feeling—”

“Okay? There isn’t much for me to do about it,” you reply quickly. “Cheol and Yejin—” you let out a humorless laugh, “—it isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. I was able to deal with it. I’m sure Cheol can too.”

“He’s really upset with himself for it,” Jeonghan tries to reason. “Even when he was with Yejin. They’d have arguments about it.”

“Okay? It’s not like I asked him to do that. It’s not like he was my friend to tell me about it.”

“Well if you would just listen—”

“No, you listen,” you say firmly, scrunching up your eyebrows. “Did you know what Yejin said to me the last time we spoke?” Jeonghan shakes his head. “She told me I was boring,” you spit out, and you realize that it’s the first time you’ve ever actually recounted that night to anyone but yourself. “And that she wasn’t even mad that I liked Cheol, but that she hated how I let her have him.” You pause to wipe away some tears. “And she was right. I didn’t put myself first. I could have told Cheol first, could’ve worked things out before she found out, could’ve done something for him, but I didn’t, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again so right now I am going to put myself first.”

Jeonghan is frowning now at the intake of all this information. It’s his first time hearing your side of the story, and he can’t help but get confused with the different timeline’s he’s got going on inside of his head. “Is this really putting yourself first?” he finally asks, and you glare at him.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying. He was your best friend for a whole decade. Maybe having him back in your life will do more good than you think.”

You scoff. “You mean do Cheol more good to his life. Don’t look at me like that—what do you know about me that makes you so sure of this?”

“Cheol knows you, you know him, and as far as I know, you could use a friend or two.”

“Thanks for calling me friendless,” you say dryly. “But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m fine. I am over it, and I don’t mind having two less friends. And either way, Cheol couldn’t have been that good of a friend if he was willing to just let go of me like that after all those years.” Jeonghan stays silent. “I don’t need more drama in my life anyways,” you conclude, pulling your feet out of the water and standing up.

“You’re not going to give him a second chance?”

You don’t answer as you walk away.

Choi Seungcheol isn’t drunk, for once in his life. Okay that is an exaggeration, but it’s the first time in a few months that he isn’t stumbling over himself at a party. It’s the first time in a long while that he hasn’t even had a sip of alcohol at this outing, and honestly, he’s quite proud of himself.

He knows why that is, and he isn’t afraid to admit it. When Joshua walks past him and gives him a funny look, Cheol knows what’s up. “No drinks?” Joshua asks, quirking up a brow.

“Joshua,” he murmurs, and he’s surprised his friend can even hear him over the music. “Jeonghan is talking to her.”

Joshua purses his lips. “Yeah, I know.”

Choi Seungcheol is quiet at a party, for the first time in…well pretty much ever. He isn’t under the influence, but it feels like everything is racing through his mind at a hundred miles per hour. Leaning against the wall, Joshua softens his gaze.

“Loosen up,” he says, and then thinks again. “And please don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not drunk,” Cheol scoffs, standing up straight as he glances out the back door, watching you kick the pool water. He remembers his birthday party over a year ago—the pool, you, Yejin, fun. Cheol walks away, not sure where he’s heading and Joshua, using his better judgment, doesn’t follow.

Choi Seungcheol isn’t drunk, but he might as well be out of his damn mind.

Tonight is not your night.

Your head is pounding. You fucking hate it. You don’t like getting drunk, at least not like this. Not in the way that you’re seeing two of everything. Not in the way that your body feels like it’s on fire, sweat soaking your sheen black shirt. Not in the way that you’re thinking about everything you shouldn’t.

After your conversation with Jeonghan, you realize you don’t have an answer. Pandora’s box is too tempting, and all your better judgment tells you to leave this door closed. To bury it up, throw it into the ocean, burn it—anything to keep it away from you, but the alcohol that courses through your veins brings the memories flooding back.

Now, you aren’t sure if your head hurts from thinking about Cheol, or from the alcohol, or both.

It’s too much.

You lean against one of the steps as you sit on the stairs, clutching a bottle of water close to your chest. Jeongyeon is…she’s fuck knows where. You lost track of her hours ago—after you came back in from the backyard, you got lost in conversations with people you haven’t caught up with in ages, and one thing led to the next and now you’re on nth drink.

You feel dizzy and the cup in your hand without the water bottle slips past your fingers and before you can act quick enough, the cup is tumbling down the two steps in front of you and spilling all over the floor. Granted, it isn’t the only mess made in this house tonight, and by the looks of it, it won’t be the last, but you still feel bad, quickly scrambling up to pick up your cup and find some tissues.

As you lean forward and stumble over the steps a little, you realize your center of gravity is off and you’re about to fall forward, quickly holding out your hands to brace your fall. As you land on the ground with a thud, your mind spins—everything spins, you feel too warm, and then you feel your drink stain your pants in the spot you fell onto and—fuck, this really is too much for you.

Maybe you should’ve just accepted what Jeongyeon said. Maybe—fuck, who are you kidding—parties definitely don’t suit you. You’d be a fool to deny that now, especially when you’re aching to just leave already, even though you never made any plans of getting home.

That problem that you saved to deal with “at a later time” is becoming a problem you need to deal with now and you race through your options, all while seated on the floor, forgetting about how you need to clean up this mess.

It’s when your head starts to hurt and you scrunch up your face in hopes to soothe your headache when you hear his voice. A warm hand wrapped around your wrist and then it’s pulling you up and onto your wobbly legs. “Let’s get you out of here,” Cheol mumbles, and without weighing the consequences of your actions, you nod along.

You don’t care anymore. You need to leave, and if Cheol is the path to getting out, you won’t mind.

When his arms lead you out the front door and into the night, you feel cold. Extremely cold. Maybe it’s because your body is so warm, maybe it’s because the wet alcohol on your pants is sending shivers up your spine—maybe it’s that you’re starting to slowly realize who you’re with.

Standing on the grass, you aren’t sure what to do now. What should you do? What does Cheol want you to do—you stop yourself. It shouldn’t matter what he wants you to do, you remind yourself, so why do you find your gaze lazily making its way over to his face?

Fuck ignorance and its bliss. Right now, you want to know what Cheol is thinking. He’s looking down at you, and suddenly you feel small. His face isn’t demeaning, it’s not angry, he’s not upset, but you just feel so pathetic.

And god, do you hate that word. It echoes in your head. Your dirtied pants, flushed and puffy cheeks, disheveled hair, all as you struggle to stand up—pathetic. You turn away from him, not being able to watch him watch you any longer.

“Let me drive you home,” he says finally over the thick air.

“You’re drunk,” you protest mindlessly—you don’t have a clue if that’s true at all, but knowing Cheol, it probably is.

“I haven’t had anything all night.” Nevermind, you tell yourself, maybe you don’t know him at all. Can six months really change a person that much?

Cheol is thinking the same thing about you. Your eyes are glossy and you look so out of it and he can’t even remember the last time he saw you like this—the only memories he has are when you first got drunk with him and Yejin in high school. The memory shoots an arrow at his heart, but he brushes off the feeling, focusing on you right now.

“Trust me,” he says. You blink a few times, staring at the ground, then at the sky, and then at Cheol. “Trust me,” he repeats, and now you remember just how well you know him. Cheol isn’t asking right now, no, he’s begging. You think as deeply as your wasted mind will let you.

Do you trust Cheol? No.

Cheol hurt you. Yejin hurt you.

Is this about Yejin? No.

Do you trust Cheol? No.

What is this about? I don’t know.

Do you trust Cheol? I don’t know.

Can you trust Cheol? …

He places a hand on your shoulder and the touch is firm.

Can you trust Cheol? Of course you can.

His eyes are soft as you look up at him.

Do you trust Cheol? Absolutely.

Optimism would say that you left the door unlocked. Joshua would disagree and say that you weren’t going to be inside even if the door was wide open. Jeonghan, surprisingly, doesn’t agree with Joshua—your words were harsh, but the water streaming down your cheeks told him that there was more going on in your head than you let on.

Seungcheol tends to only listen to what he wants to hear, at least that’s what all his friends have noticed. They saw it with Yejin—ignoring all the red flags, late nights of arguing until Cheol would murmur, “it’s fine, let’s just go to sleep.” Reality wasn’t the easiest for him to face, and now it’s more apparent than ever.

“He’s too optimistic about her,” Joshua sighs, throwing himself onto his friend’s couch the morning after. He slept over at his friends’ place, and they follow carefully behind him now.

“He still has hope?” Mingyu asks incredulously, sitting on an armchair.

“Too much of it,” Joshua replies, sitting up straight so that there’s room for Jeonghan on the couch.

“She’s still nice to me,” Mingyu says thoughtfully. “Maybe she doesn’t hate him.”

“Well that doesn’t mean anything,” Jeonghan says. “She’s still close friends with Joshua, so I don’t think she’s going to let that whole situation get in the way of her own friendships.”

Joshua nods in agreement, adding, “That, and I never said she hated Cheol.”

Mingyu furrows his eyebrows. “She doesn’t?”

“I don’t think she ever did,” Joshua says honestly, leaning back into the cushions as he stretches his arms.

“Really? I would’ve,” Mingyu admits and Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

“We know that you would,” he teases, causing the taller boy to pout but keep his mouth shut. “Anyways, I think Cheol is going to keep trying.”

“I know he will,” Joshua mutters, running a hand over his face. “He’s going to go in circles after her.”

“She’s not gonna give in?” Mingyu asks, and Joshua shakes his head, but Jeonghan puts his hand up in protest.

“I think she might eventually come ‘round to a stop,” he says, and Joshua shoots him a look of surprise. “I dunno, I know you and her are close, but I just have a feeling. We’ll have to see.”

“Don’t let Cheol hear that. He’ll take it as a sign to never stop,” Joshua warns.

Seungcheol doesn’t hear this conversation now or ever, but he never had plans of stopping in the first place. He was always more optimistic than you—than anyone you knew, really—and anyone who knows him should know better than to underestimate the extent of his determination.

Jeonghan and Joshua are making that mistake right now, and even though Cheol will never know what they said, he is determined to prove them wrong, for the sake of his own sanity.

Jeongyeon picks up the phone after the first ring. “I am so sorry,” she babbles into the line. “I—fuck—we should’ve figured out a ride—I mean I should’ve figured out a ride since I basically forced you to come and I knew I would be drinking and—god, I am so sorry.”

Your head rings at the way her voice blares through the phone, and you sit up and against your headboard. You woke up only moments ago, greeted by a million texts from Jeongyeon, not bothering to soothe your hangover headache before calling her back—she must have been worried, you told yourself.

“It’s okay,” you mumble, reaching over to grab some water from your bedside table. “I got a safe ride home.”

“Yeah, Joshua told me…but still, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you to find a ride on your own.” “Don’t apologize Jeongyeon, I left you without a ride too so stop apologizing or else you’ll start to make me feel bad.”

You can hear her huff on the other end, and you smile. “Okay fine, but seriously. I’ll cover one of your shifts or something soon because I feel bad for even taking you. You looked miserable.”

“That was only because Jeonghan came up to me,” you tell her honestly.

“Jeonghan? Like Seungcheol’s friend?” she says, and you can tell from her voice that she’s hesitating to even say his name.

“Yes,” you sigh softly. Jeongyeon wants to know more, you can feel it, but you aren’t in the mood to bring it up, at least not with her. “It’s whatever. I’ll see you Wednesday?”

She pauses for a moment, seemingly trying to comprehend your quick switch of topics. “Uh, sure. Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Mhm,” you hum, pulling back your phone as you click to hang up. Letting your head fall back onto your pillow, you inhale deeply. You remember the night before too vividly—even if you were drunk, there was too much happening for you to forget.

You know you can’t forget, so you decide to do just what you’ve been doing for the past half year: ignore. It’s what you’re best at, after all. Yet as your day goes on, your mind begins to trail off. You think, and you think, and you think until you aren’t sure what was real and what was not from last night.

You start to realize that you aren’t as good at ignoring as you like to think.

“You think too much,” Hyunwoo jokes, watching you stare at the shot of espresso in front of you. You’d made it for yourself as an attempt to feel more energized after your lecture, but you find yourself zoning out as the small cup sits on the counter, waiting for you to gulp it down.

“Uh, sorry,” you murmur, shaking your head a little. “This shift is light and we haven’t had any customers in a few minutes so I just…”

“It’s fine,” Hyunwoo replies with a smile, and you purse your lips. Ever since Joshua told you that Hyunwoo likes you, you’ve been warning yourself to tread lightly. Not that he isn’t a good guy—Hyunwoo is great—he’s just not your type.

What is your type? The thought is swept out of your mind before you even come up with an answer, swooping up the shot of espresso and holding it up to your lips.

It’s been three days since the party, and you haven’t talked to Joshua in a minute, so your mind is slightly frazzled. Hyunwoo is nice, but you miss the comfort of your close friend, and maybe you’re just a little curious to see if he has anything to say about Cheol driving you home that night.

You’re sure he does—you can already predict his words: “you told yourself you wouldn’t talk to him.” Joshua might be harsh with his words, but you feel with the way you’ve been losing your damn mind recently, you need someone like him to bring you back to reality.

Maybe that’s what went wrong with you, with Cheol, with Yejin—with the three of you. You and Cheol were too lost in fantasies, Yejin always holding you two down. She was right—Cheol wouldn’t like you. Two people who didn’t know a reality other than their imaginations couldn’t work out.

Cheol needed someone to ground himself, you needed someone to ground yourself, and at the end of the day, Yejin chose to help him. You still think about what you would have done if you were in her situation, and after months, you can’t come up with an answer.

You remember the events leading up to her decision like it’s as clear as day, and no matter how many times you replay that moment, you don’t know what to think, except that you’re angry, you’re sad—they left you.

“I heard you and Joshua,” Yejin tells you quietly, and you feel your heart stop. “You like Seungcheol?” and the way she uses his full name makes you feel almost ashamed for confirming it with a nod.

“I—” you pause, “—I didn’t know you liked him.”

“I love him,” she corrects you.

“Oh,” is all you manage out.

“You’re pathetic.”

That was the start of it. Yejin sent Chaeyoung over the next day to pick up her stuff from your apartment. You didn’t hear another word from Cheol. The last thing you remember him saying to you was from that night is still a jumble in your head.

You hate crying, and everyone knows it. So when you sprint out of the room minutes after Yejin, eyes red and puffy, Cheol knows something is wrong. Before he can walk up to you, there’s a hand on his shoulder and Yejin has her head pushed up next to his ear.

You don’t know what she tells him, but his gaze falters. The last thing you hear him say is your name quietly as you rush away.

That night, Joshua drives you home while you think about how you’re going to tell your mother that Cheol and Yejin won’t be coming to your house for spring break.

That was six months ago. Of course, six months pales in comparison to the decade you spent as friends. The years from middle school, to high school, to college—you three side by side. Things changed so quickly, too quickly.

Sometimes you think about what she might’ve told him—what she could’ve said that made him turn away at every gathering you were both at after that. That made him erase the years you shared before all this. That made you all strangers.

You figure things like this will never make sense to you. You don’t understand now, and you probably never will—you are content with that.

At least, up until three days ago you were. Some small voice in your head is reminding you of the confusion, the hurt, the heartbreak you felt when it all happened. Now, you’re more desperate than ever to know what exactly happened, it’s just a matter of if you’re willing to go down this rabbit hole of reconnection.

It’s like the universe hears you and laughs. The ringing of the door fills the little cafe and you’re pushing yourself off the counter, nodding and Hyunwoo. “I got it,” you tell him, dropping your cup in the sink and walking over to the register.

Of course it’s Cheol standing in front of you. You can’t tell if he found out your schedule from Joshua (but no, Joshua wouldn’t do that to you) or if it’s just something like fate. Fate.

You sigh, preparing yourself for yet another onslaught of thoughts. “What can I get you?”

There’s something mischievous glinting in his eyes. “Don’t you remember my usual?” Cheol attempts, and you’re surprised by his forwardness. Don’t be shocked, you think. Cheol never backs down, never stops trying.

Do you give in? Just this once? He did help you out that night—you aren’t sure if you’d be able to get home in one piece if it weren’t for him. Then again, it could’ve just been one of Cheol’s kind favors, something that isn’t reserved for only you, but just any drunk girl in general. You don’t want to mistake his qualities of a gentleman with him holding out a figurative olive branch.

Trust me, his words are like a broken record in your mind.

You’re thinking too much. Fuck, if he didn’t hold out the olive branch that night, you’re going to try to now.

“Iced latte with hazelnut syrup,” you say quietly, tapping it into the tablet. You’re scared to look up because you know he's grinning. You shouldn’t want to be the reason behind his smiles, but you do.

“Thanks,” he chirps, holding out his card so you can turn around the tablet for him.

“Your order will come out on your left,” you tell him, not looking up. You expect things to stop now, for things to quietly go back to normal.

“Hey, when do you get off?”

You do a double take to make sure you heard him correctly. “Sorry?” You finally look up at him and god, you start to remember why you loved his smile so much.

“I asked when you get off from your shift? Six?”

“I—uh, yeah,” you reply without thinking. “How’d you know?”

“That’s when Joshua gets off on Fridays. Just a guess,” he shrugs. You purse your lips and don’t respond, not sure where to take things from here; yeah you held out the branch but you didn’t expect him to grab it just this quickly. “Can I stay until then?”

You should say no. You really should say no. But then you’re thrown back to three days ago and the words are sounding an awful lot like trust me, trust me, and then you realize you just can’t deny him.

“Okay,” you say softly. You can tell from the look of relief on Cheol’s face that he wasn’t expecting this, and you aren’t sure what to take from that. As you turn to make his drink, you glance at the clock. Thirty seven minutes before your shift ends, and you can’t figure out if you’re going to try and make the time before them fly or go slow.

Handing Cheol his drink, you don’t say anything, your movements swift as you try and unbox your own feelings. Of course, you aren’t given the liberty to do that, not when Hyunwoo is standing in front of you.

“Is that Seungcheol?”

“Take a wild guess,” you mutter, closing your eyes tightly for a moment. Maybe if you think hard enough you’ll realize it’s just a dream where your actions have no real consequences.

“I thought you two didn’t talk.”

“Did Joshua tell you that?”

“Kind of…maybe…I sorta figured it out on my own,” Hyunwoo admits. “Sorry, that sounds weird.” You sigh softly, feeling bad for how flustered Hyunwoo is.

“It’s okay…let’s just get back to work,” you suggest, turning away to clean up some of the counters with your extra time.

You don’t notice it, but Cheol watches the conversation between you and Hyunwoo unfold, and while he can’t hear what you two are saying, he has a feeling he won’t like it. He has to remind himself to not have high expectations, to not get his hopes up, just like Jeonghan and Joshua warn, but he just can’t help it.

But when you agree to see him after your shift (he knows you didn’t technically agree to that, but he knows you and is sure that you caught onto his underlying message), he just has to stay hopeful. So as he patiently waits for the clock to strike six, he thinks about what to say.

To be honest, this all happened on a whim. Again, he didn’t really know that you were working today, he just happened to get lucky. Cheol himself isn’t sure what exactly he wants to say to you, he just knows it is a lot.

He thinks about you a lot. The good, the bad, all the in between—Seungcheol misses you. And he knows that it isn’t fair, that he shouldn’t do this, that he doesn’t have the right—Joshua has made that clear to him on numerous occasions.

“She’s fine without you.”

“But—”

“You don’t have a say about being in her life.”

“And you do?” Cheol shoots out.

Joshua steps back. “I don’t either, but I know how she’s doing better than you. I know how she felt after everything happened.”

Cheol pauses. That, Joshua did. Cheol didn’t know anything, did he? “This isn’t about you, it’s about me and it’s about her.”

“There is no you and her,” Joshua says bluntly. Cheol doesn’t say anything, but he knows in his mind that he needs to change that.

Cheol lets the idea run through his mind, that he's making a royal mistake right now, and all this is going to amount to nothing. He doesn’t mull over it for longer than ten seconds. He is going to do this, and if he doesn’t, he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

You get off your shift while Hyunwoo continues his. “You’re going to talk to him?” he asks with knitted eyebrows, pointing at Cheol.

“Uh, yeah,” you say sheepishly in the back, untying your apron. “Don’t tell Joshua, he’ll kick my ass,” you add, only only half joking. Joshua definitely won’t let you hear the end of this, but that is another problem for another time. Hanging up your apron, you grab your backpack from the shelf and slip to the back door. “See you later!” you chirp, throwing Hyunwoo one last wave before you enter the seating area from the back to make your way to Cheol who’s sitting at an elevated stool by the window.

Your once confident strides are much smaller now, you find yourself holding back each one more and more. Do you really want this? Trust me. You’ll just have to find out. “Hey,” you say quietly, and this time you don’t let your gaze fall, tapping on Cheol’s shoulder. He turns around quickly, straw in his mouth as he drinks the half finished drink with a smile.

“Hey, you’re early,” he states casually, glancing at the time. It’s 5:57.

“I guess,” you reply, voice as still as you can manage.

“You’ve probably been here for a while,” Cheol murmurs to himself, getting up from his seat. “You want to go on a walk? The weather is nice right now.”

You want to roll your eyes and tease him, saying “it’s August, of course the weather is nice,” but you stop yourself—you aren’t sure if you’re ready for that level of comfort yet. “Sure,” you agree instead, adjusting your bag over your shoulder as you follow him out the door and onto the main street.

“How was work? Stopped working at the bakery, huh?” he says, and you just don’t get it. How is he being so casual? How is he acting like this is the first time you two have had a real conversation in months? How is he—you don’t even realize you’ve stopped walking until he calls out your name. God, you really missed how it sounded when he said your name. “What’s wrong?”

You don’t even think before responding. “What do you think is wrong?” Cheol is standing a few feet in front of you and the look on his face is confusing…you can’t read it. You aren’t sure if it’s because he’s confused, or if it’s because you just aren’t used to this, or what. Whatever it is, you don’t like it.

“I’m sorry,” Cheol says softly, stepping forward. You still don’t move. “I—uh shit, sorry—this,” he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “this is weird, you’re right I just, I don’t know—”

“Is there something you want to say?” Your eyes bore into his, and Cheol knows he can’t keep any secrets from you.

“I’m sorry.”

You nod. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asks hopefully.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask with a shrug. “Sorry for what?”

“A lot of things. Everything,” Cheol admits, and your eyes widen slightly at his honesty. You pretend to glance down at your watch.

“Well you’re going to have to be more specific,” you tell him truthfully, “and don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’ll come again!” he says quickly, holding his hands up as you’re about to walk towards your car. “When do you work? Tell me. I’ll come after every shift.”

“I work almost everyday.”

“I’ll come everyday,” he says with no hesitation. Your heart tightens. You a month ago would have said fuck no, but then trust me, trust me is echoing in your head again and before you can stop yourself, you’re nodding.

“Mondays and Tuesday I get off at 6, Wednesdays at 9, Thursdays at…”

You used to believe Seungcheol always lived up to his promises. When you were younger, you couldn’t think of a single time when he didn’t go by his word. You trusted him, always, so when he broke the promise of “we’ll stick together”—arguably the only one that actually mattered—you were shattered. You still are, or at least your trust is.

Right now, Cheol promises he’ll come see you after every shift. You don’t think you should trust him, but you do anyway, watching the clock to make sure he’s always here on time. You tell yourself you do it because you don’t like to be kept waiting, but you know deep down that you’re just trying to find an excuse.

You’re trying to justify your distrust, even though you already have a perfectly good reason for being tentative around Cheol. Somehow, whenever you’re with him, you forget about it all.

It’s awkward most of the time. Well, more like you’re awkward and Cheol just pretends you aren’t, acting all normal and like you aren’t stumbling over your words and blanking out mid sentence.

You’re not nervous, you just don’t know what to say, the words getting lost in your head as you wonder whether or not there’s a line and where it is and if you should cross it.

Today is the fifth day Cheol comes to see you after your shift. He comes in at 6:54 which is a bit earlier than usual, and it’s the first time that Joshua is seeing the scene unfold. As Cheol walks in, your friend throws you a careful glance before waving over at his friend and connecting fists as he hops over to take his order.

“Iced latte with—”

“I’m not here for a drink,” Cheol says quickly, putting his hand up before he can watch Joshus key in his usual order.

“Huh…did I miss something?” Joshua asks, checking his watch for any missed messages. You chew your lip and Cheol glances at you, realizing that you haven’t told Joshua that you and him are speaking again.

“Uh, no,” Cheol murmurs. He points at you and when he sees that you don’t protest, he proceeds. “We’re, uh, I’m just waiting for her shift to end and—” he stops talking when Joshua whips his head around to stare at you with a look of bewilderment.

You nod shyly, untying your apron as you make your way to the back room. Joshua follows quickly behind you, closing the door behind him while you hang up the garment. “What does he mean by that?”

“I dunno, Josh,” you say, because honestly you aren’t sure how to explain it either.

“Remember what you said?” he tells you—you know where this is headed, and you really don’t want him to bring it up. “You said you’d never forgive them.”

You did say that. “In a moment of anger,” you argue, grabbing your bag. You know he’s just being protective of you, but right now it’s getting on your nerves.

“And? You’re just going to forgive him because he drove you home when you were drunk?”

“I haven’t forgiven him!” you pause. “At least not yet.”

“You’re seriously going to forgive him after all that you said about moving on?”

“I have moved on, Joshua,” you tell him. It’s true. “There’s nothing wrong with letting him back in my life now, especially if he wants to.”

“And what if he fucks up again?”

You roll your eyes as you walk to the back door. “How’s that supposed to happen? Thought you said he and Yejin broke up?”

“They did, but that isn’t the point.”

“Then what is?” you ask exasperatedly. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions. You’re acting like I don’t know the consequences of my actions. You’re acting as if I wasn’t the one who had to go through all that, so please just let me make this decision.”

Joshua steps back and sighs, and by the way he doesn’t say anything as you open the door, you assume he has accepted defeat.

Cheol meets you on the other side of the door, wearing his usual smile. You can only pray that he didn’t hear your conversation with Joshua. “Hey,” he greets and you nod in response. Well if he heard anything, he pretends he doesn’t. The truth is, Cheol hears every word, he’s just very good at putting a smile on his face.

You two walk out of the store silently and side by side. “How was work?” Cheol asks.

“Good. It’s most fun with Joshua,” you reply, walking on the sidewalk like you two usually do. You follow a trail down the street and through some parks for kids, always making a round trip back to your cafe where your car is parked.

The days have been getting shorter, and it’s evident by the way the sky is painted a deep orange right now. “Didn’t sound like he’s too happy today,” Cheol comments, and you halt your steps for just a moment, realizing he did hear you two.

“Uh, yeah,” you mumble. You two haven’t talked about that since you started speaking again. All the things Cheol said he wanted to apologize for were left suspended in the air, waiting for one of you to pluck it out and face reality. Neither of you were ever really good at that. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” 

“I’m sorry you had to say that,” Cheol responds almost instantly, standing in the middle of the sidewalk and turning to face you.

Your eyebrows furrow when you respond, “What?”

“I mean, shit, I worded that badly,” he groans, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry that…you know—you said you’d never forgive me and I’m sorry. And I know you probably shouldn’t forgive me but I’m sorry.”

You certainly weren’t expecting that, but then again, you need to remind yourself to never be surprised when it comes to Cheol. You bite back the words, “it’s okay,” because you aren’t ready to say that, so instead you just nod. “Okay.” Your eyes glaze around your surroundings and they fall on a bench. Pointing at it, you say, “Let’s sit, yeah?”

You two sit side by side on the bench, and you think that this is the closest either of you have been in a long time, your thighs almost brushing against each other’s. The sky darkens above you, and you usually would take this as your cue to go back to your car, but tonight, you stay.

There’s a question that’s prodding at the back of your mind, and you chide yourself for even thinking about it. Don’t ask him, don’t do it, and you almost listen. Almost. You figure that the fact that you’re even here with Cheol right now is a sign that things are changing more than they already have, that you’re changing in ways that you didn’t know you could, and Cheol is changing, and he’s changing for you.

Cheol senses it too, that you’re thinking deeply, and he waits. When you’re finally lifting your head and looking up at the sky, he turns to you as you open your mouth. “How did you guys break up?” You can’t bring yourself to say “you and Yejin.” It’s too painful of a reminder that there was once a Cheol and Yejin, and that it came at the expense of you and Cheol and Yejin.

He takes a deep breath and hesitates, but you don’t retract your question. You feel after everything, you deserve to know, no matter how aching the memory is. “She cheated on me.”

“Oh.”

Cheol’s voice is flat for the first time since you’ve started speaking again. “Yeah,” he mutters. You purse your lips together, unsure of what to do, what to say. There was a time that you felt you knew all the right words, all the right things to do, but now you’re lost. Maybe it’s because Cheol has changed, but then—no, it’s not him, it’s you. You’ve changed. You thought you didn’t care, and that was true.

You didn’t care about what happened to Cheol or Yejin or them because they had left you and there was nothing after that. You didn’t care because caring wouldn’t help you get either of them back, and you didn’t care because caring only made long nights of you crying in your bed even longer.

But did you ever stop caring about Cheol? About Yejin? There’s a fine line, you realize, between caring about your relationship with someone and caring about them, and it hits you that not once did you not care about Cheol.

What would you have done if this had happened six months ago? What would you have said? You were never the best at words, but when it came to Cheol and Yejin, you always found some way to make them feel better. Looking over at Cheol, his head hangs low as he chews on his lip.

You reach over your hand and place it on his shoulder gently. “I’m sorry,” you tell him.

Cheol chuckles hollowly, causing you to frown deeply. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”

“We have time for that later,” you reply honestly, not breaking the contact even when he shifts a little, finally looking up at you.

“Later?” he asks hopefully. You smile and nod. This is a promise, you both know. Joshua is going to kill you for this later.

“He got fired?” you snort. “Didn’t he say he could get away with anything?”

“Yeah,” Cheol chuckles. “And to be fair, he did get away with a lot. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t get fired months ago. He would give me and Soonyoung discounts all the time, it was crazy.”

“I remember that…” you say quietly.

“Yeah, anyways, he got fired and now he’s complaining about not having extra cash. Minghao’s telling him to just find another job but Hannie is convinced that he’ll be able to convince his boss to hire him back…”

“Knowing Jeonghan, he might just be able to pull that off.”

“Who knows,” Cheol murmurs with a shrug. “It’s late. Do you want to go?”

“Want me gone already?” you tease. Things are more comfortable now. It isn’t the same as before—how could it—but it’s getting there. You aren’t sure you’ll ever be “back to the old days,” but you sure are trying to get as close as you can.

“You know that isn’t true,” he shoots back. You trust him, and if that’s a mistake, you hardly care. Maybe this is where you start to crumble. “I’m just trying to make sure that it’s not too late when you get home.”

He’s being caring, although it isn’t unexpected. Cheol was always caring. “You’re right,” you murmur, not wanting to admit that you might have wanted to sit here and talk to him a bit longer. You stand up, grabbing your back and he follows after you as you walk up the street in the direction of the shop. You return back to the conversation of Jeonghan and his antics both in and out of the workplace, and before you know it, you’re back at the parking lot.

You’ve grown to look forward to these meetings—how could you not—and it does kill a little bit of self control inside of you every time you realize that fact.

“You gonna go now?” he asks softly, and as you stop walking, you let the tension grow thick. This part is always awkward. You don’t know if it’s fitting to say “bye” or “goodbye” or “see you later” or hug him or wave or—you usually settle for a smile but there’s a growing ache in your heart which tells you that maybe you want more.

Cheol seems to think the same, and it all happens so quickly, too quickly, and suddenly you’re going dizzy and your world is spinning.

Choi Seungcheol’s lips are soft.

And they don’t press against yours for more than a second before you place your hands on his chest and push him back. You almost indulge. Almost.

“Why would you do that?” you whisper, not meeting his gaze. Cheol runs a hand through his hair, steeping back with wide eyes.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Fuck, I am so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking—shit, shit, shit—I’m sorry, I’m so sor—”

You ball your fists and your face contorts into some ugly sort of grimace. “Stop saying that!” you cry out, and Cheol stills. “Stop fucking saying you’re sorry! I-I-I hate it!”

“What?” and the hurt is more than evident in his voice.

“I know you’re sorry, okay? I get it,” you tell him exasperatedly. “And you keep saying it—you’re sorry for everything, you’re sorry for all of it. It’s all you say, but maybe if you just stopped and thought for a second you’d realize that no matter how much you keep saying it, I have not once said it’s okay.”

He gapes at you for a moment but recovers quickly, running a hand through his hair. “I—” he pauses, “I don’t know how else to tell you. It’s been a few weeks and—”

“You didn’t speak to me for six months,” you spit out, and you wonder if this is what it’s all going to come down to. The past month of you figuring out your emotions, working out what you want, what’s good for you, what’s not—you’re afraid that right now it will all amount to nothing.

Maybe you two were in your heads too long. Maybe this was your harsh pull back down to the ground.

“Six months, Seungcheol,” you repeat, and he winces when you use his full name.

“I know, I’m s—”

“You’re sorry, I know,” you say quieter this time, slumping against the wall. His lips were so warm, so soft, you still feel their ghost on your lips. You calm down for a second at the thought, but then your anger bubbles up when you remind yourself that Yejin got to taste him too. Got to have him, love him, cherish him for those six months. Jealousy doesn’t suit you, but that isn’t what this is about anyways. Right now, all it does is fuel your heat.

“I just—I don’t know how to really say it,” Cheol admits.

“Well you should figure that out,” you tell him harshly. “I can’t stand here forever, waiting for you to find the right words.”

“You’re right, I know.”

“Do you?” you ask, exhausted. It’s all catching up to you know—you’re tired, so tired.

“I do.”

Do you trust Cheol?

“I don’t believe you,” your voice quivers when you say it, and Cheol feels his heart break at the sound. “I can’t.”

“I know—that’s my fault, I know.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m trying.” You know he is, there isn’t a doubt in your mind. Inhaling deeply, you choose your words carefully.

“We need to talk about everything,” you tell him slowly.

“Okay,” Cheol agrees quickly. “Okay, where do you want to start?”

“Where do you think we should start? I think that’s where we should start.”

Cheol sucks in a breath and pinches his eyebrows together. You can tell that he, just like you, is making sure he doesn’t say anything he’ll regret. “Well, the beginning, I guess,” he sighs, and you open your mouth in protest but he holds his hand out to stop you. “Okay just listen.” “Fine.”

“I found out Yejin liked me in January,” he tells you.

“That was a month before…” your voice trails off and he nods.

“Before we got together and…” And we stopped talking to you. He doesn’t say, doesn’t need to. “Yeah. Chaeyoung told me. Yejin didn’t know I knew until…”

“Until you started liking her,” you mutter under your breath. You furrow your eyebrows and look up at him. “You know I know this, right? Joshua told me when you told him.”

Cheol seems surprised by that. “What, really?” you aren’t sure why he never expected that—you and Joshua are pretty much like siblings, after all.

“Yeah. I think I knew before Yejin,” you admit. Your voice is small, and the way the entire event of six months ago is playing out in your head is a not so nice reminder of why you’re in this situation in the first place.

“Oh.” Silence. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

You frown. “What was I supposed to say? ‘No Cheol! Don’t like Yejin! Like me!’” you say in a mocking tone. “Why would I do that to her? Why would I do that to you?” you were calm a moment ago, but you feel yourself growing upset again.

“I thought you—” Cheol thinks for a moment, wondering if he should say it, “—I thought you liked me.”

“I did,” you seethe out. “But did you think I was going to beg you to change your mind? To change your feelings?” Cheol is quiet now, and you take it as your cue to continue. “I…I cared about you and Yejin so much—” that’s a lie (you still do)—“and you should know that if you guys were happy I would be okay with that.”

“What about your feelings? Why didn’t you do anything about that?” Cheol shoots back, and it’s starting to sound an awful lot like your last conversation with Yejin.

“You claim you love him but you’re just willing to give him up like that? That’s pathetic. You are pathetic.”

You feel tears stream down your cheeks at the memory and you need to remind yourself that it isn’t worth crying over—but then again, it is. “I would’ve dealt with my feelings just as I have been for the past six months—by myself and totally fine.”

Cheol doesn’t have a response to that, because if there’s one thing he won’t even attempt to refute, it’s this. Because after everything, you have been okay. You have been healing. It killed him every time Joshua would tell him you’re doing fine, because he wasn’t doing fine and he was having a really, really hard time accepting that.

He knows it’s unfair, Cheol knows he’s being anything but fair, but he just doesn’t know how to help it.

It’s the worst that you’re crying now—crying ‘cause of him. Because Cheol knows that you were okay and it was him that decided to butt back in your life to try and make amends, and you being you, decided to let him back in and fuck—he knows he’s being selfish by doing all this and he know he doesn’t deserve this yet you are still here, trying to hear him out.

“I fucked up, I don’t deserve a second chance.”

You choke back a sob, “Damn right you don’t,” and Cheol knows that you’re right.

“I’m still going to try.”

You brush some tears away from your face. “I know.”

You go home that night without another word, and Cheol only stops you to make sure you’ve stopped crying before you start the car and drive off. It’s the next day, and you can’t help but glance back and forth between the door and clock as your shift nears its end.

“You waiting for him?” Hyunwoo asks you from the side, and you feel a little bit bad at the way his voice sounds a bit sad.

“Uh—” Are you waiting for Cheol? “—I guess, yeah.” There’s no reason for you to deny it. You’ve replayed last night’s conversation more times than you can count, and you still aren’t sure how to feel. You need to see him.

As the time nears six, an uneasy feeling pools at your stomach, and you wonder what you’ll do if he doesn’t show up. End it for good? Add it to the list of reasons why you should never talk to him again? Block h—

The bell above the door ringing saves you from that rabbit hole. It’s 5:59 and Cheol waits in front of the door and for once, he isn’t donning a smile. Looking at Hyunwoo, you throw out a small wave before slipping to the back room. Hyunwoo doesn’t follow you, he stopped doing that after the first two times Seungcheol started coming, although you aren’t sure why. It’s a passing thought though, definitely not at the forefront of your mind as you hang your apron routinely and exit through the back door.

Cheol waits for you by the door and you don’t say anything as you both leave through the front. The atmosphere is thick and you aren’t sure who is going to say what and when. It’s only when you’ve walked around two minutes down your regular path that Cheol stops in front of that bench. Flickering his eyes towards yours for a moment of confirmation, he sits down and motions you to follow. You sit side by side and once again, you two are almost touching, but aren’t quite there just yet.

“So,” you finally say. “Where were we?”

“That night,” Cheol replies quietly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. You glance over at him and can’t help but realize how…small he looks. You want to reach out and hold him for a moment, but you shouldn’t.

“What about that night?” you murmur. There’s too much about that night for you to even fathom what he’s thinking about.

“What did Yejin say to you? In the room?” he asks.

“Does that matter?” You seriously don't want to recount it, but then Cheol is nodding and you just have to give in. “She was mad…same reason as you,” you mumble.

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t like how I was accepting of it all,” you sigh, leaning back. “I think she just got sick of me,” you finally confess. “Didn’t like me anymore, and then she thought I was pathetic or something and used that as an excuse to just—I dunno, drop me.” You pause, turning to look at him again. “What did she tell you?”

You know you probably shouldn’t ask. It’ll be painful, you know, but you’re confident you can handle it.

“She said it couldn’t work…the three of us. That it was either me ‘n’ her or nothing, because nothing could go back to normal after this.”

You look down. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You believed her?”

“Well, at the time,” Cheol murmurs, “Yeah I did.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” Trust me, trust me. “I liked that she liked me. I liked her and I thought I was going to lose you either way and—”

“I said okay.”

“Is it okay?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. “I beat myself up a lot for all that, you know? Wondered what she could’ve said that made you not wanna fight to be my friend.” You scoff to yourself. “I guess we both suck at that.”

“Huh?”

“You know: fighting for what we want,” you clarify.

“That can change,” Cheol says, clearing his throat. “I’m fighting right now.”

That conversation is the first of many. One month later and Cheol is still fighting. It’s your birthday, and you aren’t surprised that he remembers, but you are surprised when he gets you a gift. A new apron. “Your old one is getting…well, old.”

You’re both sitting at the bench once again, and for the first time, your thighs brush against each other’s fully. It’s warm, it’s welcoming, it’s soft. Maybe you and Cheol haven’t finished crossing the bridge yet, but you’ve definitely finished building it. There’s time for the rest later. You want to focus on you and him now.

“I wonder why,” you say sarcastically, taking it out of the bag. “It’s cute—hey, is this my name?” you ask excitedly, holding up the little spot on the top with some letter embroidered in.

“Uh, yeah, it’s custom and all…I got Minghao to help me with the design.” You smile genuinely, turning to him.

“Thank you, I love it.”

“Thank god. Jeonghan said it was a stupid gift but I thought it was thoughtful…”

“Jeonghan once got you a rubber duck for your birthday, so I would take everything he says about gift-giving with a big fat grain of salt.”

“Hey, I still have that duck,” he tells you, and you both laugh together. “It’s in the bathroom, I only take it down for special occasions.”

“Special occasions being…?”

Cheol taps his chin. “Hmm…birthdays, the last day of school, Christmas…I’d like to think my luck is pretty great whenever I use it.”

“Is that so…” you hum. “When was the last time you used it?”

“Like two days ago.”

“Nothing special happened two days ago.” That’s a lie, and he sees right through it.

Cheol smiles smugly. “I know. It was just right before I came to see you.” Your cheeks burn as you turn away.

Two days ago being the last time you and him talked about all of it. From beginning to end, just like you had so many times before except for the first time, you were finally able to utter the words, “it’s okay, we’re okay.”

“Right…maybe luck really was on your side then,” you tease.

“Whatever,” Cheol says with a pout, watching you glance at your phone. “Do you need to go? I thought you didn’t have anything planned?”

“I don’t,” you say with a huff. “I just saw that my birthday gift from my parents got delivered. It’s fine, I’ll pick it up when I get home later.” You ponder whether this is the right moment to bring it up. “You can… come along if you want.”

It’s almost as if his ears perk up. “To your place?”

“Um, yeah,” you try to come off as casual. “Only if you want,” you add quickly, and he picks up on the double meaning right away.

Which is how you end up here.

“Haven’t been here in so long,” Cheol murmurs, looking over your apartment. It’s the exact same, save for some pictures with Yejin and him that have since been taken down. He would have been upset about it a month ago, but now he is content. It only makes it a goal for him to take more pictures with you now so you’ll have some to put up.

“Mhm,” you nod, putting your bag down on your kitchen counter.

“Hey…” he says softly as you flick on one light. It’s dim, but there’s just enough light for you to see the worried look on his face.

“Everything alright?”

He chews on his lips and he looks pretty. “I need to know where your head is at right now,” he admits. There’s a lot of different meanings to what he’s just asked, but with the way he’s looking at you, you have a pretty good idea of what he’s trying to say. “I don’t want to misread anything like the last time I—the last time.” The last time he kissed you.

You look down at the counter. You brought him here for a reason, but are you ready?

Trust me, trust me.

Of course you are. With Cheol, you’ll always be ready.

So when he’s pushing you up against the wall, hands grappling at your waist, feeling his warm, wet lips against you, you don’t waste a single second thinking about anyone else. You don’t think about what Joshua will say, you don’t think about how Jeongyeon will react, you don’t think about the look on Yejin’s face if she were to ever find out about this because right now, it’s Cheol that’s in front of you, and it’s Cheol that will always be in front of you.

One leg around his torso, your mouth smashes against his in a tangled mess of tongue and lip and it’s desperate and has you aching for more. And then he’s leading you to your bedroom and you are reminded of the fact that Cheol knows this place so well that he doesn’t even need to ask for directions.

Throwing you onto the bed your mind goes blank—it’s as if all the happiness in the world rushes to you at once, leaving you all light-headed and disoriented when Cheol clambers on top of you, his thigh wedged between your legs.

With his fingers pressed deeply into your hips as he runs his tongue along your jawline,rocking  your clothed cunt against Cheol’s bare thigh, his gym shorts hiked up so that you can press your core as close to him as possible. Your breath is slightly labored as his lips press open mouthed kisses all the way down, and you feel yourself become increasingly needy at the way you can see the imprint of his cock against his shorts.

“Shit—you’re so—wait,” he murmurs, pulling his lips away from your burning skin to bore his eyes down at you. “Is this okay?” he asks softly, pulling his knee back so there’s some space between you and him. Cheol doesn’t expect for your eyes to widen, hand shooting out and grabbing his thigh to make sure it doesn’t move another inch.

“Yes,” you gasp out, pulling his leg so hard that he stumbles forward a bit when you do, the hard muscle pressing back against your core. Cheol lets the initial shock of you being needy for him settle in, and suddenly he’s grinning and having one hand back at your waist, the other at your neck so he can tilt your head up and have better access to skin over your collarbone.

His fingers are rough and calloused as they slip beneath your shirt, pushing it up just far enough that your bra is exposed. Hovering above you, you watch through hazy vision as Cheol’s eyes dilate at the sight, swooping his head down to free one of your tits from the cup and catching a nipple in his mouth.

Your body jerks against his as he swipes a tongue over the hardened peak, and suddenly you feel that there’s too much fabric between you and his thigh. “Ch-cheol,” you mutter, tapping at his head that is currently burning beneath your shirt while he sneaks kisses all up and down your stomach, between your tits, and over your cleavage.

“What is it, baby?” he coos, pulling his head out and looking up at you, the pet name shooting shivers up our spine.

“Pants—ah—” you whine when he presses his thigh harder into you. “Pants!” you cry, trying your best to unbutton them with shaky fingers. Cheol picks up right away, helping you unzip them before hooking two fingers on the waistband and yanking the fabric down and over your feet, freeing yourself and your pussy of its unbearable restraints.

“Fuck, this is—you’re so hot,” he murmurs, looking down at your bare legs and tracing his fingers from your ankles to your knees, and then finally through your inner thighs where he bends down and starts to place rough kisses.

Usually, if he was in his right mind, Cheol would have wanted to take his sweet time with you, unraveling, unwinding all of you. But he’s figured that both of you have waited long enough and that you both deserve to be needy, to be desperate, to let this moment pass as quickly as it started because there will be plenty of time for a round two and three later on.

All you need right now is to feel each other, which is how he ends up pushing your panties to the side and digging his tongue into your dripping folds without warning. “Cheol!” you moan loudly, your hand gripping his hair tightly while he simultaneously wraps one arm over your hips, pulling you closer.

Seungcheol is going crazy, he thinks, because the taste of your pussy is better than any alcohol he’s ever drunk. You’re sweet and your cunt is literally fluttering its pretty fuck folds all for him as he slides one finger through them to collect your growing wetness. He feels himself growing high on the feeling and taste alone, his own hips pressing into the mattress in hopes of relieving some of the tension in his own pants.

There’s a slobbering mess that runs down his lips and chin as he fervently makes out with your pussy, and you briefly wonder how a man can be so good at making you feel this good before the thought is swept from your mind by one of Cheol’s thick fingers prodding at your entrance.

Holy hell, you’re so tight for him—gummy walls clamping down on his single digit the second he started to move it in and out’ta you, his mind racing as he thinks about how you might feel around his cock. And Cheol isn’t the only one thinking about it either, because when he’s slipping in another finger, you’re already crying out for more.

“I gotta work you up to it baby,” he tells you sympathetically, using one free hand to shove down his pants leaving him in only a shirt and boxers.

“Don’t wanna wait…” you protest with a pout, eyes shamelessly looking down at his figure hunched over you so you can catch sight of the imprint of his cock against his boxers.

Cheol chuckles, even though he’s on the brink of giving in himself. “Take your shirt off for me, yeah? It’ll save us some time.” That’s all you need to hear before you’re sitting up and yanking the stupidly tight shirt over your head and throwing it to the side as Cheol’s fingers continue their onslaught deep inside your cunt.

It’s less of an in and out motion now, and more of a curling motion that’s exploring you, finding out what makes you hum, what makes you moan, and what makes you go—“Oh fuck, Cheol!” He grins at the sound, leaning down to press a kiss on your clit as he pulls his slick fingers away.

“You wanted more?” he murmurs, slipping his own shirt over his head to reveal the familiar set of abs and toned chest. You let out a dazed smile at the sight, letting your body fall back onto the mattress.

“‘course I do,” you reply without hesitation, watching eagerly as his hand holds the waistband of his boxers and pushes the cloth down, revealing his cock all thick and hard as it springs out and hits his abdomen.

It’s long and it’s thick, and it’s nothing less than what you expected from Cheol, in fact, it’s a lot more than that. But you don’t even have time to think about how pretty his cock looks, pink tip all flushed as a thick vein runs down the side of its length, because it’s pushing against your entrance as he watches your face carefully.

When your eyebrows knit into a convulsion of pleasure and you squeak out his full name, he knows he can't hold back, slamming into your drooling cunt in one go.

And his cock is so big it’s pushing you open, but the pain is so good, so enthralling, that you don’t even mind being split in half if it’s like this—if it’s because every time he pulls his hips back, you know he’ll slam it deeper and deeper every single time, hitting spots deep inside of your cunt that you didn’t even know existed.

All while your limbs are flailing around him, thrashing as you bite into his shoulder, muffling your cries of, “Cheol, Cheol, Cheol!”

Your name falls from his lips too, mixed in with the mindless words of, beautiful, pretty, princess as he compliments you for takin’ him so well and squeezin’ him so good he doesn't know how he hasn’t bust already.

“God, fuck,” he moans when you look up at him through heavy lashes, tethering his boto m lip between his teeth to try and slow his impending orgasm. “Fuck,” he chokes out, “shit—I love you—”

And there is your breaking point. Like the world has come to a stop and there is only you and Cheol and this moment and—god, you really are too far gone now—and him and you is all that matters.

You cum like you never have before, his cock battering your cunt ‘til you’re shaking and crying and yelling out his name as you feel nothing but him, think nothing but him, know nothing but him.

This is the moment you’ve both been waiting for, and as soon as Cheol has noticed your slower breaths he’s pulling out and letting you wrap one hand around his fat cock to help jerk himself off. He’s so close—so fucking close—and then you’re whispering those fated words—those three words—he feels everything in him just snap, hot cum shooting all over your swollen, abused cunt, and Cheol feels his heart swell.

Love.

There’s a lot more you need to work on, you both know that, but it’s okay.

Trust me, trust me.

I love you.

a/n. literally wrote the last part half asleep and i hate the ending but... okay wow … i had a tough time writing this because i really wanted it to be taken slow and i’m not really sure how well it went … also this story might have been a bit a lot of a reflection of a friendship that went wrong in my own life LOL so this might be me playing out how i wish things ended up :/so anyways please sharing ur thoughts and like and reblog!

[wish-i-were-heather]

A FOOL FOR YOU PT 4⤵ GRAYSON HAWTHORNE X READER

ABOUT: 2642 words, no use of y/n (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5)

STORY: well, y'know. you can't ignore a 911 text from a hawthorne

WARNINGS: none really, reader does struggle to swim tho and freaks out a little

TAGS: @littlemissmentallyunstable @gretag13 @lanterns-and-daydreams @whatsamongus @alwaysthefangirl @zuzanna-jadw1ga @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @low-caloriesmonsterultra @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @jimcarreyfann42 @ravishinglyliving @maybxlle - lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist!

A/N: EEK I LOVED WRITING THIS. i didn't describe the reader's swimsuit because i don't know what everyone is comfortable with so i let you kinda imagine it however u want! i'm not sure how many more parts i can get out of this idea, there'll definitely be at least one more lmk what u think tho

He said please. 

Grayson didn’t lack manners. It’s not that he didn’t know how to say please and thank you. But he also wasn’t the kind of person to throw around a plea lightly. Grayson Hawthorne was, well, a Hawthorne. The name itself was a demand, not requiring a please. But he’d felt the need to say please to you. 

Maybe you were overthinking it. 

Or maybe you were still in denial, like Avery said you were. 

The texts came in at eight at night, too, which only raised more questions in your mind. If he wanted to talk to you, why hadn’t he just found you? Or simply texted you to meet somewhere? You didn’t understand why he’d felt the need to use the 911; you would’ve come if he’d just told you to go to the pool. 

Hawthornes did tend to have a flare for dramatics, you supposed. 

You had no idea why Grayson wanted you to meet him at the pool. He was a swimmer, sure, but that was very much his personal time. Grayson didn’t often appreciate people watching or joining him in the pool. But, you figured there was a chance he expected you to.

So you found yourself at her door again. Despite the faint conversation you could hear from inside, you knocked. 

Avery took longer than last time to open the door. “What’s up?” She asked. 

“Hey. Uh, do you have a swimsuit I could borrow?”

She frowned slightly, confused. “I mean I do, yeah, but why-”

You didn’t even have to say anything. You just showed her your phone screen with the text messages. Her eyes widened as she read them and she immediately opened the door wider for you. “Get the hell in here.”

Avery was already digging through the grand dresser. As you entered the room behind her, you noticed Jameson sitting on the floor in front of a deck of cards, giving you a curious look. “What-”

“Not now, Jamie,” Avery quickly answered. “Girl problem.”

That shut him up. 

“Don’t mind him,” she told you, turning back around with a few items in hand. “We were just playing solitaire.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Together? Isn’t that a one player game?”

“His idea, not mine. Managed to turn it into a competition too, somehow,” Avery shrugged. Jameson gasped dramatically but she continued before he could speak, bringing your attention back to why you asked for help. “So, I’ve actually never worn this one before, you could keep it if you want. Or-”

“That one’s fine,” you interrupted, taking it from her. “Can I change in your bathroom?” “Oh, uh, yeah, sure I guess,” Avery answered, clearly confused as to why you were so quick to answer. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get there as soon as I can. Thanks.”

You didn’t change completely, just putting it on and putting your clothes back on over it. You didn’t plan on getting into the water, but it was worth being prepared.

As you were stepping out of the room and thanking Avery, Jameson called, “Say hi to Gray for me.”

Your head snapped back. “What?”

“Come on,” he smirked. “He’s practically the only person who uses the pool, especially at this time. So tell him I said hi.”

Shaking your head, you just ignored him. Jameson was the type of person who could read people well, so odds are he probably already knew he was right. But you didn’t want to give even more of a reaction to him than you already had. 

Avery grabbed your arm though, before you left. “Hey, hey, good luck.”

You thanked her and left, just hoping Jameson wouldn’t try to watch from the window. 

~~

The cool night air hit you sharply as you stepped outside. It hadn’t been too chilly during the day, but you now found yourself wishing you were in more than just shorts and a thin hoodie.

Shivering, you made your way over to the pool. Your mind was racing the whole way there, but there wasn’t really anything else for you to be wondering. Grayson had asked for you to come to the pool, presumably either to swim with him or just because he was most comfortable there. Either way, it was pretty clear that he wanted to discuss what happened when he was drunk. But you still didn’t understand why he sent the 911. 

Good thing you were on your way to finding out. 

The pool deck was empty, save for a few lounge chairs. The fancy cushioned kind, the ones you would only find at a hotel. And the Hawthorne mansion, of course. 

On one of the chairs were two neatly folded towels- two. So he did expect you to get in the water with him? Where was he anyway? If he’d already brought out towels, why wasn’t he-

Splash.

You’d been too caught up in your thoughts and the sound of your heart racing in your chest to realize that Grayson was, in fact, already in the pool. Swimming laps because he was Grayson Hawthorne, so of course he was swimming laps when the sun had already set and the only light in the sky was that of the stars. 

Swimming had never really been your thing, so you didn’t know the exact stroke, but you would’ve been a liar if you said you weren't somewhat mesmerized. The way his arms went up and out, the way his fingers glided along the surface before entering the water once again. His legs kicked together, the movement fast and almost indiscernible under the blue of surrounding him. 

Grayson came up for air so quickly you couldn’t even make out his face, but your eyes caught on the way his hair flicked up with his head. It was certainly a skill, and he managed it so gracefully. You struggled to look away.

Thankfully, you were pulled out of your stare when he suddenly reached the wall nearest to you. Grayson’s hands touched the edge of the pool in perfect sync. You could see the red in his face, the tire he was giving himself from swimming. You wondered how long he’d been there before you found him.

Grayson met your eyes with a tired smile as he caught his breath. “You came.”

“You said 911,” you explained, sitting on the edge of the chair where he’d set the towels. “I figured it was pretty important.” 

“Yes, I did.” He nodded. “We do only get one of those a year, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to any of my brothers.”

“Got it.”

He was avoiding the elephant in the room. 

“Would you like to join me?”

You stared at him. “Excuse me?” 

“You’re excused,” he said. “Would you like to join me?”

Was he really just going to ignore the fact that he’d sent you such an urgent message? A 911 could’ve meant he was dying, for all you knew when you’d first received it. And what, it was because he wanted to go for a swim with you? There was more he wasn’t saying and you just wanted to yell at him to spit it out. 

Instead, you responded calmly. 

“Join you in the pool?”

Grayson looked you up and down and shook his head. “I suppose you can’t really, not without proper swimwear.”

You got in the pool in a suit when you were drunk, you didn’t say. 

“I have a bathing suit on under this,” you explained. “I just… why do I need to get in the water? Can’t you just tell me what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath. 

“I’ve decided I owe you an apology. For what happened.” You knew immediately what he was referring to. “I was reckless and foolish and unintentionally put the burden of myself onto you. It would have been easier for you to just leave me be, but you dealt with my mess. I appreciate that.” 

The silence that followed was only interrupted by the gentle lapping of the pool.

“See why I figured you should get in?” He asked. “We’d be at an even level. Better suited for such a conversation.”

“Or you could just get out,” you offered. 

“Please?” 

That word again.

Grayson Hawthorne knew what he was doing. 

“Fine,” you groaned, but really only half annoyed. You turned around as you began to take off the layers above the swimsuit, watching him in the corner of your eye as he looked away respectfully.

The cold hit you even harder now that you had removed your hoodie, and you hoped that the pool was well heated. 

“Okay, okay.” You began walking over to the edge of the pool where Grayson was. When his eyes found you, he stared for a little longer than normal before answering.

“You’re nervous,” he observed. “Can you swim?”

You shrugged, taking another step closer. “I know how to stop myself from drowning.”

Grayson moved out of your way and you sat on the edge of the pool with your feet getting wet. It was heated, thankfully. Comfortably so. No wonder he loved to come here at night. 

He was watching you silently. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and it was killing you. Not that anyone could ever tell what Grayson Hawthorne hid behind those piercing eyes, but yet another question amidst everything that had happened that week was too much.

Of course he’s a mystery, he’s a Hawthorne. 

Before you could overthink it even further, you got in.

The warmth of the water enveloped you, contrasting greatly with the chill of the night air. You were holding onto the wall, not planning on letting go because your swimming skills were just barely above that of a child starting swim lessons. But Grayson’s intense gaze kept your heart racing. 

He swam towards you, grabbing onto the wall a little closer but still leaving a respectful distance between you. “Do you know why I sent the 911?”

“No,” you admitted. “It scared me.”

“I apologize for that. I panicked.”

You hadn’t expected that confession from him.

“You panicked?”

He nodded slowly. “I was afraid you’d think less of me after how I acted. You haven’t spoken to me in days, so I wasn’t sure you’d come otherwise.” The vulnerability in his voice was tangible.

“It’s not that I’ve been trying to avoid you, Grayson,” you explained. “I just… I mean, you haven’t spoken to me either.”

“I thanked you, I thought we were past what happened. I didn’t think we needed to talk about it.”

“You thanked me and then flirted and walked away.”

Grayson raised an eyebrow. “Did I?”

“You know very well what you did,” you said, trying to hide the blush on your face. 

He swam a little closer. His voice dropped to the same sincere tone it had adopted back when he was drunk. When you’d told him to be careful and he’d cupped your face. When he said he’d never hurt you, never. 

“Perhaps I do. But that doesn’t change the fact that I burdened you with my drunk self.”

“You’re not a burden, Grayson,” you told him, also pushing yourself closer to him along the wall. “It was no problem, really. Just a little entertaining.”

He chuckled, and you couldn’t tell if it was genuine or bitter. 

The way he was looking at you was making you feel something. Something you couldn’t name but… didn’t quite hate. You started to move yourself a little closer to him until-

Splash.

Your hand slipped off the edge of the pool, accidentally sending you back. Not exceptionally far or deep into the pool, but enough to make you panic. You could keep yourself afloat, sure, but not when you were suddenly pushed away from the only solid thing keeping your head above water.

But before you could fully let the panic set in, a strong arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you upwards.

The sensation of being lifted was disorienting. You were overwhelmed by the sudden rush of water and movement, then the lack of water as your head reached the surface again. Even if you’d barely been below the water for a few seconds, you found yourself gasping for air. 

Grayson’s arm around you was the only steady thing in the chaos.

“Hey, hey” Grayson spoke, and it took a moment for your startled mind to process the words. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

You blinked rapidly, trying to focus. It took a moment for your breathing to calm down, but you helped yourself by rationalizing it; you’d been under the water for maybe five seconds, there was no need to panic so much.

The shock had just gotten you.

His voice broke through again, focusing your vision and hearing on him. “Just breathe, in and out. Nice and slow, just like that.”

You followed his instructions, taking deep breaths. Your panic began to fade, and you became painfully aware of how close he now was to you, the proximity at which he held you.

Grayson didn’t let go as you calmed down, simply keeping you tucked protectively in his arm as if the water was threatening you. He used his free hand to reach up and brush a wet strand of hair from your face behind your ear. The gesture was so gentle, so careful, that you felt your heart flutter.

“Are you alright?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I think so. Thank you.”

He only nodded in return, his usually sharp gray eyes beginning to soften as he stared down at you. He didn’t move his hand away after moving the hair out of your face. It stayed there, lingering around your ear, until he decided to move down, cupping your face.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the first time that shirtless Grayson Hawthorne was holding your face in his large hands and looking at you in a way that was more than an annoyed glance. 

But it felt different this time. More intense, more real. 

He wasn’t drunk, not hungover; there was no doubt in your mind that he really meant everything. His eyes were still locked on yours with an emotion that you couldn’t quite place, yet somehow felt deep within your core. 

He leaned forward, so close to you that your foreheads were almost touching. His eyes fluttered shut and you realized what was happening only after you felt the words he whispered against your lips-

“I’m sorry.”

Grayson closed the small gap between you, gently pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, almost hesitant at first, like he was giving you the chance to pull away or tell  him to stop. But when you didn’t, when you leaned into the kiss, the arm around you tightened.

Your hands moved on their own, both sliding their way up to rest on his chest. He responded to your touch with a low hum that made you shiver despite the heated pool. 

His arm moved up to the back of your head, pushing you impossibly closer to him. The kiss grew more urgent, more desperate, like he was trying to express every emotion he’d been hiding for the past week. It was overwhelming, and for a moment nothing existed outside of you and Grayson Davenport Hawthorne.

When he pulled back, you kept your eyes closed. Grayson placed a small kiss on your forehead before resting it against his own. You were so close now, much closer than before, but that didn’t matter anymore.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he admitted softly.

“Me too, Grayson,” you grinned. “Me too.”

When he kissed you again, he tasted like those stupid cherries he loved and felt like the end of the world.

the writing above belongs to me. please do not copy, modify, repost on other sites or claim as your own. © 2024 wish-i-were-heather

[ateezscupid]

switch yunho x f!reader? 😁

𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 ✩ 𝗃.𝗒𝗁 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

plot - yunho has a problem, and to solve it, he needs to lose his virginity—to you.

genre + warnings - switch!yunho, switch!reader, non!idol au, college au, vanilla sex, aphrodisiacs used, humping, masturbation, oral, fingering (f receiving), handjob, blowjob, praising, light choking, overstimulation, unprotected sex, if i missed anything lmk!

wc - 4.3k (?)

tags - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna

a/n - I JUST REALIZED MY TUMBLR GLITCHED WHEN I POSTED THIS? i missed an entire part, oh my god.

“dude, hongjoong just gave me these weirdo blue cookies.” mingi shoved the box toward yunho.

“what the hell? i’d expect that type of shit from wooyoung, not joong.” yunho laughed as he plopped onto the couch. mingi walked over and sat down next to him, handing him the box.

“apparently they’re cookies that make you super horny. i don’t get why hongjoong needed them though since he’s…not dating anyone. and he doesn’t even have anyone to hookup with. i guess delusion is what keeps him going.” mingi chuckles to himself as he leans back.

“cookies that make you horny… like aphrodisiacs? dudee, we should put some of these in yeosang’s lunch box tomorrow. he’s gonna need them for his girlfriend!”

“does his girlfriend even know what he looks like without clothes on?” mingi raised an eyebrow.

“i dunno, but he needs them.” yunho sat the box of cookies on the coffee table and groaned loudly, leaning back on the couch so much he almost slid off.

“i’m so bored, there’s nothing to do.”

“well, i have something to do.” mingi cackled quietly. “this girl in my math class invited me over to study for a test we have tomorrow and i already know we’re gonna hookup. i’m bringing three condoms just in case.”

“why the hell do you need three condoms if you’re only going one round?” yunho asked him. he was so innocent.

“who goes only one round? i’m not surprised; you’re not familiar with stuff like that since you are a virgin. there’s not one girl in this school who’s willing to get laid by you.”

“i—i don’t wanna have sex with a random person! that’s a you thing, mingi. not a me thing.” yunho sighed.

“im just saying!” mingi stood. “why don’t you call your tutor over? what’s her name…y/n? you have a fat crush on her, invite her over and you’ll be fine.”

“if i invite her over here, she’s gonna force me to do work and i’m not in the working mood right now. i wanna lay down and binge watch cringey reality tv shows.” yunho rolled his eyes. mingi shrugs and turns around, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

“well, if you do change your mind and invite her over, don’t do it on my bed. i just washed my sheets and i don’t want there to be cum stains or whatever.”

“dude, shut up!” yunho through a balled up piece of paper at him. mingi stuck his tongue out then left the dorm, leaving yunho alone.

he stares at the cookie box on the table and ponders. the box looked really beaten up and old, and when he shook it, it didn’t sound like there were many inside of the box. maybe mingi was playing a prank on him or something. yunho thought aphrodisiacs expired in 2010, but he was clearly wrong.

he picks up the box of cookies and opens it. the cookies were blue, not surprising. they did seem a title hard, but he didn’t know if it was because of the aphrodisiacs or if it was because the cookies were old. there wasn’t even an expiration date on the box.

“blue cookies…” yunho repeated to himself as if he didn’t believe it. “blue cookies that make you horny. he must be joking.”

so, out of curiosity, yunho digs his hand inside and takes out six cookies. he sits the box back on the cookie table and looks at the cookies in his hand. they did look delicious, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s eaten something stale or expired. plus, he was craving cookies.

without hesitation, yunho eats the cookies one by one. he couldn’t tell if the aphrodisiacs had done something to him or not. he felt fine, and his body temperature remained normal. yunho chuckled to himself and shook his head, standing up and walking to his bedroom. he really just ate cheap cookies that hongjoong gave him and mingi. he knew it was too good to be true.

yh: hey hongjoong, whered you get those blue cookies from they were good

hj: blue cookies? idk what you’re talking abt

yh: mingi said you gave him horny blue cookies? dude he told me earlier

hj: huuhhhh

hj: OHHHHH THOSE COOKIES

yh: YEAH THOSE COOKIES whered you get them from they were good

hj: … you ate them?

yh: they’re cookies, wtf am i supposed to do

hj: yunho those are aphrodisiac cookies they’re gonna make u hard as hell for hours

yh: mingi told me that too but i’m fine

hj: dude omg these cookies are different, u don’t feel it right away how many did you eat

yh: like 5 or 6

hj: i’m gonna fucking kill tou

yh: YOU CANT EVEN SPELL HOW ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME

hj: YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO EAT ONE, ONE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU HORNY AS HELL OH MY GOD

yh: ohhh

yh: did i do a bad

hj: i’m gonna hurt you

yh: so basically what ur saying is i’m fine

hj: what i’m saying is you need to find someone to fuck, otherwise ur gonna be horny for days dude and that’s not good

yh: who the hell am i gonna fuck?? i’m a virgin im sure nobody wants me

yh: hongjoong?

yh: OH MY GOD ANSWER YOUR PHONE

yunho sighed to himself and threw his phone. he was starting to feel the effects of the aphrodisiac and knew he was in trouble. not only that, but he called you and asked if you come come over to help him study. he couldn’t study while being rock hard, he’d be distracted. that, and he’d be sneaking glances down your shirt whenever he could.

“fuck fuck fuck,” he mumbled to himself and stands up, walking to the corner he threw his phone in and picking it up. 5:50. he knew mingi would be gone for a long time, and you were coming in ten minutes. he had time.

yunho kept checking the time while he walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and pulling down his pants and boxers. he shuddered just from the fabric sliding off his cock. he was that sensitive.

now he needed something to think about. he could’ve just jerked off and came right away, considering how sensitive he was, but he preferred thinking about something that would normally get him turned on. so, he thought about you.

yunho closed his eyes, wrapping his hand around his cock and flinching at the feeling. he couldn’t even stand the feel of his own hand without feeling the urge to cum. he knew it was going to be a long night.

he brings his hand up to his tip. he runs his thumb across the tip, leaning forward slightly and cursing under his breath. he needed more. his hand obviously felt good, but not good enough. he looks around the bathroom for anything that could help him, and sees his towel hanging on the shower rod.

yunho grabs it then leaves his bathroom. he shuffles back over to his bed and places the towel down, getting on top and aligning his hips. he places a pillow in front of him and lays down it, beginning to push and pull his hips like a mad man.

his fingers desperately gripped the bed sheets for some sort of support as he tried relieving himself. he already felt himself wanting to cum onto the towel, and all he was doing was thinking of you.

from your pretty eyes to your chest, where’d he’s sneak glances down your shirt from time to time. he’s always wondered what it would be like to just touch you. it didn’t matter in what way, he just needed his skin to be in contact with yours. your skin was so soft, and you always smelled like really expensive perfume. your smell was infecting him and he had no complaints.

“please, oh fuck, please…” he whines into the pillow in front of him, gripping the bed sheets the tightest he possibly could. he felt himself beginning to burst already, all he needed were a few more thrusts and he’d be good to go.

and he was right. a few more thrusts. a few more thrusts caused yunho to explode on the towel, his cum splattering onto it as he mewled into the pillow. his breath hitched in his throat and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. he needed that, but yet, he still needed more. he still felt hot.

so, he had no other choice but to force himself back down onto the pillow and continue thrusting. he obviously couldn’t ignore the overstimulation he felt, but he was willing to go through anything just to get rid of this feeling. as good as it made him feel, it was painful. the entire time, he was wondering how you would touch him. he couldn’t lie. he’s fantasized about you two doing intimate things a lot. so much so, sometimes he wouldn’t be able to focus during some tutoring session.

would you have palmed him through his pants? god, he could see you doing it. moving your soft, gentle hands over his bulge, rubbing your thumb over the wet spot in his boxers from his pre-cum. using your fingers to hold his cock and stroke his cock roughly. he could’ve came from these thoughts alone.

what if you had taken off your shirt in front of him? unbuttoning your favorite button up and letting him fondle your breasts. every glance he snuck down your shirt made him want you even more each time. your breasts were so pretty to him. he wanted to suck on them just once. he wished somebody you’d be in his bed, your hand in his pants or the other way around. god, he didn’t know if he wanted to pin you down, or if he wanted you to pin him down.

yunho came a good two more times before you arrived in front of his dorm room. he immediately jumps up, pulling his boxers and shorts up then sprinting to the door. but he needed to calm himself down. his face had sex splattered all over it, or he had the face of someone who had just eaten two jars of aphrodisiac cookies. speaking of the cookies, he may or may not have eaten two more just for the fun of it.

and in the heat of the moment.

there weren’t any words to describe the feeling he had. he was so sensitive, he could barely move but he tried his hardest. he opens the door and looks you up and down, not realizing he licked his lips at the sight of you.

“um, okay? i guess that’s a nice way to greet me.” you nod and walk past him, placing your backpack on the couch then sitting down next to it.

“i didn’t bring anything because i know you have some old worksheets somewhere. and you still have a computer,” you point at the one on the tv stand. “so we can use your computer instead of me going back to my dorm to get mine!”

“i’m, um,” yunho was definitely listening to you, but everything was registering to him slowly. “uh, uh, yeah! yeah,”

“you good? you’re sweating a whole lot and-“

“i’m fine! could never be better! you want a water? i’ll get you a water, you look thirsty! and uh, uh, i’ll get you an orange. we have oranges! you want an orange?”

“yunho, it’s fine. i brought my own-“

“i’ll get you an orange!” and with that, he rushes to the kitchen. he waits for you to avert your attention away from him before he rushes into the pantry. judging his behavior, something was wrong with him. you pat your hands on your knees and bite your lip. it shouldn’t take this long to get a drink.

when looking around the looking room, you notice a box on the ground. you stand and walk over to it, picking it up and looking inside of it. the box had a few cookies in it. you wanted to eat one but wanted to ask yunho. but before you even had the chance to do that, you saw the name on the box and heard a noise from the pantry.

“aphrodisiac cookies…” you mumble to yourself then whip your head toward the pantry. those weren’t just random noises, those were moans. you facepalmed.

“is he really jerking off in the pantry…” you shake your head and drop the box of cookies, walking into yunho’s kitchen and opening the door to the pantry. you couldn’t have been any more correct. he was leaning against the wall, pants down to knees and his hand wrapped around his cock. he was too caught up to realize you were standing right there.

“jeong yunho!” you yelled his name, causing him to jump and look at you. “how many of those fucking cookies did you eat?”

“i-i—look, i didn’t know those cookies were gonna make me horny! i-i thought they were regular cookies! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame hongjoong!—“

“that’s not what i asked you. i asked you how many cookies you’ve had.” you squint your eyes.

“i-i had like—six or eight? i don’t know, i can’t remember, i feel like i’m gonna burst. y/n please help, everything hurts—“

“i…” you groan and pull him out of the pantry. he rushed to pull his shorts up as you dragged him toward his room, though he didn’t have to since they were gonna be off in the next few minutes.

“you really have me sucking you off because you ate some damn drug cookies.” you scratch your head and push him onto the bed.

“stop talking and do something, please,” he begs. your eyes trail down his body and make it to his cock. one thing was for sure, he was big. “fuck, did you always smell this good? you smell really good.”

“i didn’t even put on perfume today, what are you smelling?” you say as your hand moves against his cock softly, fingers poking his tip. his entire body tensed from the feeling.

“i smell everything. y/n, stop teasing me and do something, i feel like i’m gonna die! i could die! i-i could die if we don’t do anything!”

“jeong yunho, i will leave you in this bedroom with blue balls if you don’t shut up.” you stare him dead in the eyes and immediately curl your fingers around his cock. yunho lurched forward and moaned loudly, thighs shaking and his lips trembling.

“fuck fuck fuck, i’m gonna-“ he came all over your hand. you backed up a bit since you didn’t want any to get on your shirt.

“yunho, i didn’t even move my hand yet.” you sigh and take your hand off of him, bringing it up to your mouth and licking the cum off of it. “i assume that’s all you needed, right?—“

“that’s not even the only time i’ve cum, please. i really can’t- i just- please let me feel you.” he reached his hand out and grabs your wrist, pulling you closer and making you straddle him. he wraps his arms around your waist and begins kissing you all over your neck and chest.

“yunho, calm down-“

“cant, i need you, please…” he dug his nails into your shirt, whimpering quietly with each kiss he gave you.

“okay yunho, okay. what do you want me to do? or, what do you wanna do to me?”

without saying a word, he turns around on the bed and throws you down. his hands ran all over your body. god, he couldn’t get over how soft your skin was. he was so obsessed with you in the best way possible. his hands move underneath your shirt and he starts fondling your breasts, his thumbs pressing down on your nipples.

you held onto his wrist for a few moments until he went down your body and started unbuckling your jeans. once down, he pulls them down and throws them elsewhere before diving in between your legs. he didn’t bother taking your underwear off. he pushed them to the side and dove in, lips attached to your clit.

“holy fu—“ a tingling sensation coursed through your body. yunho made sure to look up a few times to catch your expression change. this was way better than what he’s been thinking about.

“y-yunho, slow down! f-fuck, i’m not going—oh my god,” you couldn’t even form a full sentence. having him stick his tongue between your folds made you spill incoherent words out of your mouth. he had you wondering how many other women he’s been with to be this good. but, it couldn’t have been many women? you could’ve sworn he was a virgin? unless he was lying.

“please, yunho please,” you begged, hands tangled in his hair. “fuck, i’m gonna cum…”

“please do it.” he mumbles against your clit. the pleasure had become too much and you literally exploded on his face, back arching off of the sheets with your face scrunching from the power of your orgasm. but even after cumming, he still needed more from you.

he throws your legs over his shoulders and locks his arms around them, attempting to hold you still while he continued eating you out. he just never caught a break. you were sensitive after your orgasm and knew he was going to overstimulate the hell out of you. you pushed his head back and stared at him for a moment. just looking into his eyes, you could tell he was desperate.

“how…fuck,” you had to catch your breath before speaking. “how many girls did you have to sleep with for you to be able to do that…”

“none.” he said quickly, bringing his hand up and sticking two fingers inside of you without warning. your body jolted and you looked down at his fingers, moaning softly due to the feeling. “can you squirt? i wanna see if you can squirt.”

“y-yunho, wait—“ your thighs begin to shake as yunho hums against your thigh, fingers moving at an accelerated pace. he wanted to make you cum, he wanted you to cum on his fingers so he knew he was doing a good job. yunho could tell you were close because of your moans growing louder and louder.

“f-faster, please!” you cry out. he did so without hesitation, curling his fingers to press on your g-spot. just by that one action, the knot in your stomach begins to unravel. you feel yourself beat up as your thighs clench around his face, trapping him between them as a large amount of liquid left your body. he helped you through your orgasm by moving his fingers faster, his free hand on your stomach to feel you.

once you came down from your high, he took his fingers out of you and sucked on them. he crawls up and kissed you, littering your face and neck with kisses. while he wasn’t looking, you use your hand to grab his cock, gently rubbing his tip and watching his face contort in pleasure.

“y/n, y/n wait…” he whined, falling back on the bed and grabbing a pillow. he wraps his arms around it and hugs it. his pretty moans mixed with the slick, wet sounds coming from him rang in your ears. and you couldn’t get enough of it. it only encouraged you to move your hand faster. you smile and get on top of him, now using both hands.

“p-please, let me inside.” his hips were between your legs when you straddled him, his erection rubbing against your heat. you needed a few seconds to calm your body down before realizing what he meant.

“uh uh, my turn.” you hold onto his shoulders and use every muscle in your body to flip him over. he was on his back and you were on top of him.

“let me suck you off, then i’ll let you in.”

“please, fuck, i can’t wait any longer just-“

you put a finger to his lips. he shuts up immediately and watched as you go down his body, leaving kisses wherever you could. once his cock was right in front of your face, you couldn’t help but give it a small lick. he shuddered from your action.

“fuck, how sensitive are you?” you chuckle, now bringing your hand to wrap around his length. he didn’t bother answering. he threw his head back and groaned, his cock twitching in your hand.

the sight before him could’ve made him cum on the spot. seeing you lay between his legs, your feet swinging back and forth behind you, and the arch of your back made him hornier. you could feel his gaze on you as you licked all along his erection, giggling softly and sending vibrations through his body.

he completely melted in your touch, his groans echoing throughout the bedroom. he was using everything in him not to cum on the spot. you couldn’t lie, he tasted amazing. you’d do this all day if he let you.

“f-fuck, your mouth…i love your mouth, s’good…” he whimpers while sitting up on his elbows, head thrown back and his cock twitching constantly in your mouth. you gently take him out of your mouth and kiss his tip gently, now moving your hands to bring him closer to the edge.

“are you gonna cum? is my pretty boy gonna cum?” you smile. you stared at yunho intently, watching his body break down from the overstimulation. it wasn’t surprising since he said he’s came more than five times today.

“please,” he begged. “f-faster, let me cu—f-fuck, please! please please please,” his cheeks were flushed, and you couldn’t help but coo.

“go ahead and cum, pretty.” his hips violently thrust into your hand. those cookies were doing so much to him, he couldn’t focus.

“f-fuck!” he cries out. “c-cumming, i’m cumming—i’m gonna-“ he finally let go, cumming all over your hand. you slowed your strokes to not overstimulate him before backing away.

“you did so well for me, yuyu.” you spoke softly, gently rubbing his thigh as you waited for him to come down from his high. he slowly sits up and smiles at you. he was still hard, and still pulsing.

“are you sure you wanna keep going?” you tilt your head. “and, um, if this is gonna be your first time then, i don’t know, i think you should reconsi-“

he pulls you up from underneath your arms and sits you on his lap. “if it’s you, i don’t care. now please, i feel like my dick is gonna bust.”

“oh my god, okay.” you smile and lift your hips, lining him up then sinking down onto his cock. yunho watched as you swallowed his length entirely, it disappeared completely and he couldn’t help but moan from the sight. you almost collapsed on top of him trying to control yourself. it’s been so long since you felt this way. you needed this.

“can i move?” your hands run across his chest, lightly scratching. yunho didn’t say anything. he was focusing on not cumming inside of you, you sucked him in like a vacuum.

“yunho?” you lean down. “i’ll lay on my back, so you can move. okay?”

“wait, just—wait,” he moans softly. he finally pulled himself together and gripped onto your hips, flipping the two of you over again so he was hovering over you. your hands wrap around his neck and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

“you feel so fucking good,” he groans. “fuck, i wanna stay like this forever.”

“we can, yunho,” you moan breathlessly. “please move.”

he didn’t start slow. just as you told him to move, he started snapping his hips against yours, the sounds of your skin colliding echoing around the room, just like your moans. you throw your head back and moan, pulling him down and pressing your lips against his. each time his cock drives in and out of you, his name slipped out your mouth.

the both of you were lost in the moment, moaning into each others mouths and chasing your high. yunho backs away from your face and pushes his in your neck, kissing and biting softly. everyone was going to know you were his, now.

yunho grabs the underside of your knee and pushes your leg back further, now thrusting at an angle that made you feel dizzy. your back arched off the bed and his movements became rougher. he was so close.

“y/n, y-y/n, where do i…w-where do i cum?” he pants in your ear. “f-fuck, i’m so close.”

“i-inside! p-please please please,” you begged. and with the last few stuttering thrusts, you feel him basically explode inside of you. you tightened around his cock as you came the same time, repeating his name as if you were a broken record.

you make sure to hold onto him the tightest you possibly could, taking in the moment while moaning loudly. you weren’t sure about what to say or what to do, it was like he fucked the breath out of you. he cuddles against your body, breathing heavily in your ear while trying to stop his body from shaking.

“y/n, please stay with me…” he whimpers in your ear. “love you so much, i love you, stay, please.”

“don’t worry, i’ll stay.”

[wikiangela]

writing patterns

tagged by @reformedplayerbibuck @evansboyfriend 💖💖

rules: share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

oh wow look at that, I have exactly ten bucktommy fics so far 🙈

Tommy calls him Buck, and it’s like someone pours a bucket of cold water over him.  - from I belong to you (and you belong to me too)

Buck has been dating Tommy for close to four months now, and his bad leg hasn’t bothered him once in that time – at least not in Tommy’s presence. - from I'll take care of you (honey, you'll take care of me too)

Buck's in the middle of cooking dinner when there's a knock at the door. - from you're the sun to me

There’s a movie quietly playing on the TV in the bedroom, a half-eaten bowl of popcorn sitting next to Tommy, Buck plastered to his other side, as they’re propped up against the headboard. - from you're my twin flame from a past life

“Hey, you okay?” Buck bumps his shoulder against Tommy’s as they’re walking to their table, his boyfriend seeming pensive and tense. - from I'm here for whenever you need (to put it all on me) 

The first thing Buck registers as he’s slowly emerging from sleep is the warm presence along his back. - from I wanna wake up with you (and throughout the night I wanna hold you tight)

Tommy hates having to leave the bachelor party. - from It didn't take much time, forever's more than crossed my mind

In Buck's defense, he doesn’t mean to ask this question right then. - from you're my future, baby

Their date is going well, at least at the beginning. - from we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide)

Tommy drives him home after their date. - from I wanna breathe you in

huh, I guess I start a lot with a bit of context or more of less establishing the scene? also apparently I like to start out with the name of the character whose pov it is lmao

also, I sure do love titles with parentheses haha

no pressure tags (lmk if you wanna be added or removed):

@dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @ladydorian05 @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @bucks-daddy-issues @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @diazheartsbuckley @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @underwaterninja13 @your-catfish-friend @kinard-buckley @beyourownanchor6 @weewootruck @kirkaut @jewishbuckley @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @lonelychicago @spotsandsocks @bucked-it-up @theotherbuckley @drcloyd @bidisasterevankinard @tizniz @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @dadbodbuck @girlwonder-writes @perfectlysunny02

[awkward-tension-art]

Bacta and Bandages Chp.4 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 3. Chapter 5.

Rookies and Broken Hands

CW: Fives and Echo, slow-burn, Anakin trying to be supportive, Reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), reader is a doctor, if I miss a tag LMK!

After Cherenity, you’ve adapted well. Your first mission was a relatively easy success. From there, you had more confidence and mental preparation. You didn’t even freeze when you were exposed to combat on the next mission. 

Truthfully, you might not have frozen up anyway. The hospitals on the lower levels of Coruscant weren’t strangers to criminal violence and attacks. 

And, to be blunt, the droids weren’t as cruel as some of the criminal empires back home.

Right now, everyone was on The Resolute, winding down from another successful battle. The planet of Jorin was officially Republic territory, thanks to the efforts of General Skywalker, Commander Tano and General Kenobi. 

You weren’t out and about mingling. Instead, you were in the medical bay, patching up your third trooper with cracked knuckles, broken fingers and fractured hands. 

The cause of such wounds? Punching droids.

For some reason, every time a clone had a chance, they would swing a fist at the metal body in front of them. Of course punching metal with no hand armor was, to be frank, damaging to bone. But these soldiers wouldn’t even feel the pain until adrenaline wore off. 

The first time one of these guys punched a droid, you assumed it was just a moment of pure will to survive.

The second time was a coincidence. Something you could write off as just a minor occurrence. 

The third time? You asked Kix if they were specifically trained to punch the damn things in front of them.

The straw that overloaded the ship was when you witnessed Commander Cody literally throw his rifle and tackle one of the droids that got too close to where you were treating the injured. When he stood back up, General Kenobi just handed him his gun as if this was a regular occurance. 

After that, you weren’t sure who was more fucking insane. The 501st or the 212th.

You sent the last trooper on his way and opened the door to the hallway. However, as soon as the metal doors split, you came face-to-face with an unknown trooper. He had his hair styled in the standard military fashion, however he sported a goatee. There was a tattoo on his temple, but you couldn’t make out what it was from where you stood. 

“Oh!” You were, admittedly, somewhat startled, “Hi, I’m sorry, do you need something?” 

“Well, yes I do.” The trooper had a flirtatious tone to his voice, “I wanted to come meet the 501st doctor. And let me just say, you and I could-”

A second trooper had dashed forward from down the hall and slapped his hand right over the lips of the first, “Fives! I can’t leave you alone for more than 3 minutes! Do you ever stop with your flirting!?” He was exasperated, clearly, “I’m so sorry for him. He’s a moron.” 

The first trooper, Fives, pulled the hand off his face. He kept his smirk, “What Echo is trying to say is-”

Echo, you gathered, cut off his friend, “What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry we’ve bothered you, Doctor.” 

Echo and Fives….oh! The new recruits from the Rishi outpost!

You gave the two of them a kind smile, “You’re no bother at all, you can come to me for anything you need.” 

Fives made a show of putting his hand over his heart, “Doc, I’m feeling lovesick-”

“It was nice to meet you, doctor. I’m going to take this di’kut and throw him out of an airlock.” Echo returned your smile, but you could tell it was tense and annoyed. The trooper began to drag his friend away, all the while Fives gave half-hearted struggles. 

You finally saw the full symbol on his temple. It was a ‘5’ in Aurebesh. A very ‘on the nose’ tattoo to distinguish him from his brothers. 

Something told you that this wouldn’t be the last you saw of them…

After the two soldiers had scrambled away, you walked through the venator ship to find Rex.

Your first guess, the hangar, was correct. He had a datapad and was overseeing the loading and unloading of weapons, supplies and other crates that were received from Jorin. You paused, the captain was busy and you didn’t want to bother him…

He spotted you first and gave a small smile. The blonde clone handed the datapad to one of the troopers at his side and walked over, “Is something wrong Doctor?” 

You sighed, “It’s about the men. Can you please tell them to stop punching droids?” 

Rex blinked in surprise, “What? Why? Sorry doctor, but the men are trained to take down clankers in whatever way possible.”

“They keep breaking their hands, especially their fingers.”

There was silence from the Captain. After a moment he responded, “I…see. No one had ever said anything. Are you sure it's them punching droids-”

“Captain, please use your fist to punch the wall with all your strength and take note of the results.” You deadpanned, brow raised. There was a grin on your lips, clearly indicating your sarcasm. 

He snorted, “Alright alright, point made.” the clone in front of you put a hand on his hip, “I’ll…think of something. I’m sure armor would help…”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, “It’s easier to create armor for hands rather than tell the men to stop suckerpunching droids.” Your smile hadn’t left your face when you responded, “You know what? I think more armor is a wonderful idea. In the meantime, can you tell them that when they throw a punch to leave the thumb outside the fist?”

You didn’t know that Rex felt a small twinge in his heart at your laughter. It was a burst of joy that he made you happy. Something he hadn’t felt before.

“Yea. Yes!” He caught himself getting lax in his attitude, “I’ll tell them. Thank you for your concern over the men.” 

“Of course, it’s my job.” You nodded, feeling somewhat relaxed now, “I’ll let you get back to work. I’ll see you around, alright?”

“Yes, of course, doctor.” Rex watched you leave the hangar. Unconsciously, he sighed before turning back to the working soldiers. He, however, was face-to-face with Anakin.

The Jedi had been replacing a part in one of his fighters when you had arrived at the hangar. When he saw his captain and doctor both talking…

Well, a good general would help his men in all their endeavors. 

“So, Captain.” General Skywalker couldn’t stop the smirk, “You and our wonderful Doctor are rather friendly.”

Rex’s eyes widened, “I…don’t know what you mean, sir.” 

“Come on, Rex. It’s just you and me here,” He put a hand on the clones back, “Man to man? You can tell me.” 

“Sir…” 

Anakin didn’t give up, “It's natural to have feelings, Rex. Heck, I encourage it!”

“Feelings? Oh! No, General! I-I can’t…” The clone captain stuttered, tripping over his words. The two of them were standing off to the side, making sure no one could hear them.

The Jedi laughed, “What? Yes you can! Come on, it's alright.” However, looking at his friend's serious stare, Anakin’s face fell, “Rex?”

The clone captain sighed, “Sir, clones are taught early on that romantic feelings are forbidden. We’re soldiers, we’re not supposed to have partners or spouses. We’d be going against regulations if we pursued personal relationships.”

Something shifted in the General, as if he had been slapped. He stepped back, eyes holding sadness and understanding, “I’m sorry…That's…” He looked down with a sigh, “That's not fair…” After a second he furrowed his brow and looked up at his captain, “I’m not going to stop anyone from having a relationship if they want. No one should be forced to…box up their feelings.” 

Rex felt a flash of confusion and even worry. Anakin sounded as if he fully understood. 

Jedi aren’t allowed attachment…

Did General Skywalker really understand?

After a beat, the Captain nodded, “Thank you, sir…I’m certain some of the men will feel better knowing they have that freedom.”

The Jedi frowned. Rex was a man with high walls, even to his General, “I am serious, though. If you…need help with figuring things out…well, I’m your guy.”

“Thank you…General?” The clone captain watched, entirely confused when Anakin walked away to return to his fighter. 

What a strange conversation…

Rex couldn’t have feelings for you. He wasn’t programmed to have them.

That feeling in his heart was something different entirely. 

Right?

[saursoob]

traitor- FOUR: tyuns plans? pt 2

synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.

| prev | masterlist | next | • (word count: 455)

you were dying of boredom and thirst. you and jay had been in this cafe for what felt like hours, which it probably was.

getting up from your seat to stretch you suggest to jay. “im kinda thirsty how about we get some refreshers? plus i am in desperate need of a break.”

jay gets up sighing in relief “thank god my brain hurts”

you laugh at his response, “i thought you were supposed to be my tutor?” he looks back at you with squinted eyes and furrowed eyebrows “hey i only offered because we both need it”

you chuckle, getting in line with jay when you suddenly hear a familiar voice ordering in front of you. it sounded like.. soobin?

you scanned the cafe nervously to see if yeonjun was around and sure enough there he was with taehyun and kai. sitting at a table near the door, luckily away from where you were sitting.

you felt a bit of relief for a moment, that was until taehyun spotted you. you immediately broke eye contact hoping he somehow didn’t see you. you thought, surely he wouldn’t come up to you or something? you thought wrong.

“y/n its been a while!” taehyun spoke. feeling a pit in your stomach all you could muster up to say was “haha! yeah it has!” your voice slightly breaking from nervousness between a fake chuckle. by this point you could feel yeonjun’s and his entire friend group’s eyes on you.

thankfully jay was there to break the tension, “oh, you must be one of y/n’s old friends?”

taehyun immediately responded with a small smile “yeah, we haven’t spoken in a while but i was hoping on changing that. y/n do you think we can speak outside?”

you quickly look at jay for confirmation to which he simply nods slightly giving you the “okay”.

-

you followed taehyun and as soon as you were both outside he started speaking. “i know this might seem weird considering everything but yeonjun is going through a really hard time right now. i assume he’s texted you about it?”

your heart heavy as you nodded “yeah he did text me about it.”

taehyun sighs, “well, i guess im not surprised. he acts like he’s fine with us but i know hes not. i mean who could? being in a 3 year toxic relationship…”

you felt terrible, guilty that you didn’t respond to yeonjun’s text.

there was a moment of silence before taehyun started talking again. “but thats not what i wanted to talk to you about. i don’t want to say it now though, would you mind if i texted you?”

you knew you shouldn’t but- “yeah go ahead my number is still the same”

-

(a few days later)

YALL BETTER BE FEDDDD WITH THIS EP BC IT TOOK ME SAUR LONG FOR WHAT??? I USED TO BE HORRENDOUS AT WRITING WHEN I STARTED THIS BLOG OMG i literally hate writing ‼️ one of the reasons why i make texts but lmk if this is acceptable ☝️

tags: (@bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @stqrgr7 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss)

[strawberrycheeks-and-glasses]

Listen to Me

Tsukishima x f!reader | rated E | 5k

Summary: Failing one of your classes, you remember a flyer you saw on campus offering ‘on call’ tutoring sessions. So, in your desperation, you call and develop a crush on the guy’s voice on the other end. Pretty soon, things start to heat up.

A/n: this is very self indulgent porn tbh, pls don’t judge me but I had a craving for a voice kink and the thought of Kei whispering in my ear gave me goosebumps. So~

“Hey there,” the smooth sounding voice on the other end of the phone says, sending a shiver down your spine.

You had seen a flyer on campus for a call in tutoring session a while back and as a joke, you snapped a picture of it for future reference. Well, good thing you did because guess who’s failing chem?

“H-hi,” you hesitate, being completely thrown off by the sound of this guys voice.

“Hello,” he greets again. “Did you need help in a subject, or are you one of those girls who call because they heard I have nice voice?”

“People actually do that? I mean you sound, like a normal guy,” you shrug, fiddling with your pencil.

“I’ve been told my voice is soothing to the ear,” he replies. “Not too deep, but not too high, and with a tone that is both unbothered, yet still attentive.”

“I just meant that you sound familiar, is all,” you scoff a laugh, rolling your eyes at how pretentious he’s sounding.

“I get that a lot,” he chuckles. The sound vibrating through the speaker tickles your ear. “Was there something I could help you with?”

“Oh, right,” you almost forgot why you called in the first place.

Talking you through your chemistry homework like he’s in the same class, he teaches you how to find the compounds and use your graphic calculator with ease. And, yeah, okay, his voice is kind of soothing, but he doesn’t need to know you think that.

“Holy shit, I think I understand now,” you laugh, amazed at how simple it actually is once it was explained in a way you could grasp. “You’re pretty smart aren’t you?” You tease him.

“Well, yeah,” he says, and you can hear him rolling his eyes at your stupid question.

“Okay, nerd,” you playfully insult him.

“This nerd just saved your ass from failing chemistry,” he rebuttals. “And the next time you have to call me for help, I’m charging you. Only the first one’s free.”

“Ugh, fine,” you say, pointedly, ending the call.

Please read the rest on ao3

Also, I’m not sure who to credit for this pic that my friend had saved from Pinterest, the artist is no longer active on Twitter and there is no watermark or signature on the art (I even reversed Google image searched and nothing came up), but if you know who made it pls lmk so I can tag them or link their art!!

Anyway, this is the Kei I think of when I wrote this fic, just to get an idea of why I needed to write this fic 💁🏻‍♀️ (also, my friend said Kei biting on the pen is slut behavior, and I agree I agree I agree)

[maltesejjong]

What’s up hoes, I’m back at it again lmao. Here’s a little lixie Drabble I wrote last year🫶🏽

Tbh this one kinda hurt. Not in a “why did I write this way” but in a “how dare I portray sunshine this way” and honestly I’m not proud of it. But I was going through a shit period of time and was really hurt and needed to make that hurt known. People always assume I’m some happy go lucky person who never gets mad or wronged and I needed my pain portrayed through some sunshine’s. Please don’t hate me for this

On the Other Side

Warnings: MINORS DNI. Pwop, cream pie, unprotected sex (oh god don’t do that y’all), fingering, piv, cheating (also don’t do THAT guys stay faithful please please please), i think I got everything? Lmk if I missed smt

Summary: Chan is absolutely smitten with his princess. Little does he know that his business trips leave opportunities for his heart to be crushed… by his best friend.

tags: @linoalwaysknows ty for being so enthusiastic about my post “What’s Rwally Going On” and, of course, credit where credit is due, thank you so so much to @lixiesfreckless who started off posting one shots on instagram (insta is @/lixiesfreckles_) and was a massive inspiration both for me as a writer and for this specific piece, which was inspired by “Deep”, which is on her insta hall go check it out!!!

Wc: 1792

Requests are open as always ^^

꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱

"Relax, baby. Just let go."

You clench your fists, desperately fighting the sounds struggling to escape. "Fe- Felix," you stutter out. "I- I'm...ah, Lixie!"

"Shhh. Calm down, angel. It's alright."

But it's not. And you both know it.

This can't be happening. Not again. It's becoming more and more frequent. You tried. You really did.

But..

"Felix," you try again. "I can't-"

"Just try, baby. Please? Just a minute longer."

He never asks for much, always making sure you're taken care of in every possible way first. And it isn't just the sex.

If you're up late, somehow he'll know, like intuition, and he'll be calling and texting relentlessly, telling you to go to sleep. When you're feeling sick, he arrives on your doorstep with drunken noodles and fried tofu, just happening by.

When you're lonely, well, he's only one call away.

And, of course, you're usually all alone these days...

"Fuck!" You exclaim, jarred out of your thoughts as he abruptly twists his fingers, hitting your sweet spot in a way that's almost cruel.

But it isn't. It never is.

You force your mind to wander, to recall song lyrics and recipes, anything to distract yourself from the feeling of Felix's fingers sliding out of you, then back in. Again and again.

"We shouldn't... we shouldn't be doing this," Felix pants, looking at you through ashy blond hair.

"But we are," you reply through gritted teeth as his digits stretch you out more than usual.

How did we get here? You think to yourself, your legs shaking so hard, you're positive that his fingers alone will leave you unable to walk. His tiny hands with his tiny fingers that work magic on you.

You bite your lip, trying to hold on to whatever shred of dignity you can salvage, knowing your neighbors are still home. Every last inch of you begs to release, to be as loud as you can, to become as undone and fucked up as you possibly can.

But no.

You can't let that happen.

Besides, you know from experience how long Felix can last. You tell yourself that there's no rush.

Yet the thrill of being caught makes everything so much more intense. So much more rushed. So much more fun.

Almost so much more worth it.

"Y/n," he hisses desperately, "shhh. You need to..."

You can't help it. Whatever noise you're apparently making, you have no control over. When you re together, this boy does things to you that you can't even begin to comprehend.

He doesn't deserve this, you tell yourself. And, I guess, neither do I. It shouldn't be like this.

You bite back a whimper as he pushes his fingers deeper. "Felix," you pant, "hurry up, I can't..."

Nevermind the familiar fear lurking over your shoulder.

You know that he doesn't want to rush any more than you do, a fact that he confirms by slowly pulling his fingers out and languidly cleaning them off, the look in his eyes as his gaze locks into yours driving you insane.

He raises his eyebrows, questioning. You press your lips together as tight as you can to keep from begging and keep your response to a firm nod.

He takes his time, kissing his way down your neck, all the way to the inside of your thigh, then back up again. Your body reacts on its own, your back arching as his lips travel up your stomach.

You're so consumed by the feeling that you don't even notice him line up and slide into you. Something that you've found goes smoother if you're distracted.

The second you realize that he's in, your mind races about, trying to grab onto something to keep your mind busy. Kittens. Math. Random Korean and Spanish vocabulary. Anything to keep from yelling as loud as you can as his hips continuously bump gently into yours.

It's a stolen moment. Yet another to add to the ever-growing list. Another thing that should, in theory, weigh on your conscience.

But it doesn't. How can it, when you're digging your fingers into Felix's platinum locks, feeling him groan against your lips. How can you think of the consequences when he's making that sound, bordering on a whimper, your name escaping his clenched teeth?

Exactly. You can't.

Your fingers leave his hair, trailing down his biceps, making him shiver. Your nails press into his skin as hard as you can, desperate for some purchase.

"Y/n. You need to relax, baby." Felix knows that you're going to that place in your mind where you start overthinking, panicking, and, as you've been prone to in the past, hyperventilate. "Hey." Не stops and cups your chin in his hand. "Breathe, okay? I won't-"

"No!" You blurt. "I'm- I'm fine, I just..."

"Y/n."

"Felix," you say firmly. "If you don't keep going, I swear to God, I will make you. I'll be fine, okay?"

He swallows and nods.

"Just.... Slower for now, yeah?"

He obliges, and you take comfort in the fact that, eventually, you aren't the only one making so much noise.

You shouldn't be.... The twisted mess of it all, the backwards guilt that claws your stomach, how messy this situation is.... It's all chased away by Felix whimpering your name, the way his voice pitches, contrasting starkly with his deep Australian tone. Ironic, but running circles in your mind around the whole thing is what helps you calm down and stay quiet. Well, mostly quiet, anyways....

"Oh, God," you moan quietly. Your voice pushes him further, and he increases his pace, his hips hitting yours harder. "Lixie.... Oh, fuck."

"You're doing great, angel. Just a little...." His voice is strained, and you chance a glance at his face.

Hair falling in his eyes, which are dark and seem slightly unfocused, but you know better. He's sweaty, panting slightly, his lips dark pink, flushed from feverishly pressing them to your skin.

Why does this time feel so much longer than every other time? There's a sense of foreboding in the air, and you don't like it.

You feel him shudder a little and force yourself to focus.

"Y/n, you need to relax, kitten." The pet name, the way his gravelly Australian accent drags over the word, makes you whine and clench painfully, causing him to gasp. "Y/n," he gets out, clearly fighting to hold on, "I- I won't last unless you relax."

"I'm... trying..."

It's no use, though. You're too uptight, and everything that usually calms you just turns you on even more until Felix can't take your reactions anymore. In no time at all, you've both ridden out three separate highs, and made way more of a mess than the short span of time warranted.

"Felix." You both know you should be wrapping up, but you can tell that he still isn't done quite yet.

"I... I need a little bit more time- uh! Oh god. Y/n - I can't..."

"What can I do?"

He squeezes his eyes shut, lips pressed together tightly.

Stimulation, you think, that's what will help. Just thinking about what's going on down there makes your stomach squirm pleasurably, sending you clenching tighter and tighter

Felix groans.

"That's it, Lix," you say in a sultry tone, knowing that the only physical thing you can do for him is happening automatically. Vocalization always gets him. "Come on baby," you say breathlessly, "give it all to me."

"I'm doing-"

"Shhh." You cut him off with a kiss. "Just let it all go," you coax, dragging a nail down his chest. "Don't hold back."

A shudder runs through his body, and you watch with satisfaction as he moans loudly, his head tipping back.

Almost there.

You lean forward and press your lips to his throat, feeling it vibrate as another strangled moan escapes him. "Come on, Lix. And here I was, thinking I'm the naughty one." What is wrong with me? You think. Getting turned on by calling myself naughty? Your walls somehow manage to clench even tighter in response.

"You are," he gasps. "Y/n- I'm gonna- nngh!"

He practically bends backwards, his body shaking hard before he falls heavily forward, clinging to you like you're his lifeline, and you know that he's done.

"Better?" You ask quietly.

"Perfect," he whispers, pulling you into his chest.

You let the warmth of his body comfort you, despite the pain gently pulsing in your body. His breath in your skin distracts you from the worry spiraling throughout your mind.

You drift off at some point, listening to his rhythmic breathing, savoring how impossibly right it all feels.

You wake up an hour later to your phone ringing.

You answer without bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hey, pretty girl."

You freeze.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Maybe," you say, trying to suppress your rising panic. You feel thankful that the voice on the other end of the phone is on the other side of the world.

"Oh. Sorry about that." His accent makes the "o" in sorry sound like it does in sore.

"Oh. Um... you're fine," you lie.

"Everything alrigh', baby?"

You fumble with the blankets, trying to escape from the overheated confines and wiggle out of Felix's embrace, careful not to wake him.

"Yeah. I'm just not feeling the greatest." True enough. You feel sick with anxiety and guilt. But not for the right reasons.

"Oh. I'm sorry, angel." You practically cringe, the word feeling foreign unless it's coming from Felix's mouth. "I'll let you get back to sleep then, love."

"Oh. Okay, then."

If he thinks there's something off in your voice, he doesn't say anything. In fact, he probably just attributes it to you apparently being tired. You check the caller ID, praying that this is some sort of fever dream. Of course not. Your screen says

💙🐺Channie🐺💙

You close your eyes as he says "I love you, y/n."

A sour taste pervades your mouth and crushes you with guilt, the betrayal weighing on you, but not the betrayal to him, as your finger hovers over the red "end call" button. You hesitate slightly before telling him "Love you, too."

Staring at your back screen, you think, But I don't.

Not really.

[water-to-drink]

The Great Vampire King’s Day Out

(Pairing): Al haitham x gn!reader

(Synopsis): The day after your faithful encounter you have to deal with some errands with a vampire following behind you

(Tags/Warnings): Foul language, dialogue heavy, reader lives in an apartment in a big city, reader can drive, mentions of blood, Al haitham is taller than reader, (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 3.2k

(A/n): This is for @winter-world who wanted a part 2 almost a year ago, sorry it took so long

Part one

Images of a monster with red eyes staring down at you plague your dream, you want to move to run away but no matter how much try your body won’t listen to you. You see the thing get closer and can see the details in it’s eyes and horrifyingly enough, the sight of sharp teeth stained with blood also enters into your view. The primal side of your mind is screaming for you get as far away from this predator, this monster! But your body remains frozen in place, powerless to stop it. The creature opens its mouth and chops down

You open your eyes and see the familiar furniture of your bedroom

“Oh that was just a dream,” You sigh while burying your head into the pillow. “just a really weird dream…” You begin to doze off until you see a man standing over you

You accidentally fall off of your bed trying to get away from the intruder, expecting to feel your body collide with the cold hard floor you instead feel a pair of muscular arms wrap around you

Opening your eyes, you get a closer look at the supposed intruder, the same man from last night. Albeit he doesn’t have blood on his lips anymore, but has dried blood on his clothes. Know that you think about it, he’s pretty handsome when you’re not scared shitless

He gently seats you on the bed and kneels down in front of you

“Are you alright?” He asks voice a lot less raspy than last night, you merely nod and he accepts that answer. “You weren’t too vocal last night and when we entered your home you just went to bed without saying a word. I feared you were ill so I kept an eye on throughout the night.”

“Thanks… I guess…? But people don’t randomly die in their sleep anymore, well they do but it’s not that common.”

“Hmm, That’s good to know.”

“So… that guy you saw last night, what did you do to him?”

“I killed him.” His nonchalant answer causes you to freeze, “If you feel any sympathy for him don’t, that man was a heartless killer. This world is a lot better now that he’s gone.”

“H-how do you know that?”

“When I drank his blood I saw the atrocities he committed for his own pleasure, you would have been one of his victims if you hadn’t entered the basement when you did.”

“Ohh…” Was all that you said when your head away from the vampire

“You humans are strange creatures, giving sympathy to those who hurt them yet attacking blindly anything they perceive as a threat.” He said while standing up

“I, I don’t know…” He seems to sense your plight and despite not understanding it he sits next to you on the bed, almost as a way to comfort you. “Hey, I never got your name. I don’t know if I should call you ‘your Majesty’ or something like that.”

“Al haitham is fine.”

“Okay, Al haitham.” Your eyes lowered down to the man’s clothes and see the blood soaked clothes that have long dried out and now is rusty color. “You seriously need a new change of clothes, I think I have something that might fit you.” You stood up and ushered your new roommate to follow you. “I might not be what you’re used to but you can’t be walking around like this.” You opened your bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of sweats and an old graphic tee that used to belong to a male relative who would crash at your place, also picking some clothes for you to wear. “You can change in the bathroom, I’ll be in the bathroom.” You handed the clothes and left your room to the bathroom

You went through your morning routine and now with room to breathe you think back on the series of events that happened not even 24 hours ago, a fucking vampire is living with you! This sounds like something that would happen in a YA novel that was written to cash in on the vampire craze brought about by Twilight. Is this really happening, or is this some hallucination caused by the trauma. Even the water hitting your face does nothing to bring you to reality, but it feels like there’s something’s else you have to do, it might not be important. If it was you’d remember it

You put on the new pair of clothes and step out of the bathroom. You see your guest looking out the window, so he can be in sunlight, interesting

“Hey…” You greeted

“Hello.” He greeted back

“What, uh, are you looking at out there.” God, this is so awkward

“These stone and metal monoliths, what are they?”

You make your way over to the window. “Oh these buildings are for homes and businesses.”

“And these men wearing helmets and yellow clothes, are they soldiers?”

“Who, them?” You look down to see a group of men down on the street talking to each other. “Ohh, those are construction workers. They build or fix these buildings, the yellow is so they’re visible to not cause accidents.”

“Interesting…”

“Also these iron chariots that aren’t being drawn by horses, what are they?”

“Those are cars, they don’t need animals to pull them because they have this thing called an engine that gives the cars the power to move on their own.”

Cars

Cars…?

“Shit! I forgot I was supposed to return the rental!” You yelled out startling the vampire right next to you

You ran into your room and started getting dressed, grabbing your bag and the rental keys you’re about to head but feel the presence of someone behind you

“What are you doing?” You asked turning around to see the vampire peering down on you

“I’m coming with you.”

“What? No! Stay here!”

“No.”

“I don’t know if you’re gonna go on a bloody rampage, I can’t have the lives of people on my hands

“I just got out of my casket prison, going on a ‘bloody rampage’ would bring attention back onto me and I do not intend on going back.”

“You promise?”

“You have my word.”

Reluctantly you lead the vampire to the rental you were supposed to return yesterday and rode in silence. Out the corner of your eye you see Al haitham looking out of the window, intensely watching the cars and people pass by. His face is stoic as ever, it’s hard to pin point what he’s thinking or feeling, but he must be confused out of his mind. A man from an ancient civilization suddenly transported to a world with tech that almost seems godlike, you don’t know if he’s in awe or disgusted by the modern world

“These vehicles, they resemble a basterna but don’t have any mules drawing them. Why is that?” The sudden inquiry somewhat caught you off guard

“These vehicles are called cars, they don’t have animals because they have a little machine that acts like one. These machines are called engines and without them the car would wouldn’t move.” You explained as you can in basic as you can

“A ‘machine’? What is that?”

You explained tried to explain what machines were (keyword try), this lead you to talk about the Industrial Revolution and how nearly everything is made with machines and how it’s rare for certain things to be made by hand. When you finished explaining something Al haitham would ask another question and it would turn into a cycle, you were so ingrained in the conversation you were almost surprised when you arrived at the rental office

“Can you sit here while I deal with the rental? I promise I won’t be too long.” You assured as you went to begin the process of returning the rental

Al haitham sat in the seat facing the window, giving him the perfect view of people going on about their day. Some things don’t change couples walking side by side, children running down the street

It almost feels like he was back in own era, familiar yet so different. Iron basternae he just learned the basic mechanics, stone monoliths one has to crank their head in an attempt to see the top, and glowing slates seemingly everyone has

“Now what is a young man like you doing here?” An elderly man asked sitting a couple of seats away from the vampire

“I’m waiting for my acquaintance to return the rental.”

The elderly man nodded. “You look troubled, what could be troubling a young lad like yourself?”

“This world is confusing.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Everything is so fast paced and it feels cutthroat.”

“Well it’s not all bad.” The elderly man adjusted his glasses. “When you get to my age you learn how to see the beauty in everything, especially people. We only have but so much time on this earth.”

Al haitham simply nods and the two continue to watch the people from the window until you walk out of one of the many rooms

“Okay, I finished returning the rental. Let’s get of out here.”

“It was good talking with you.”

“Likewise.” Al haitham gave his goodbye

The two of you walk out of the car rental office and walk in a semi comfortable silence, or at least that’s what you think. The man next to you was as stoic as ever

“Who was that?” You asked

“Just an elderly man, he was nice, I hope I can meet him again.”

“That’s good to hear.” You said as a moment of silence passed. “So, I didn’t have my daily intake of caffeine, so we’re stopping to get some.”

Once the both of you step into your usual coffee shop, you’re greeted with the sight of many caffeine deprived people waiting for their coffee. Glancing at the grey haired guy you notice that his usual stoic demeanor is replaced with one of discomfort

“Hey, Al haitham, what’s wrong?”

“The noise.” Was all he said as his expression soon turned into one of pain

You quickly reached into your bag and fished out your headphones

“I’m going to put these on, don’t panic.”

You quickly put the headphones on his head. Taking your phone out of your pocket you put them on noise cancellation and put on some soft jazz. The vampire looks at you in bewilderment and hesitantly touched the headphones that are filling his ears with music

“Is everything okay?”

“Y-yeah, what did you just put on my head?”

“They’re headphones, I’m surprised you can hear me since it’s on noise cancellation.”

“I can still hear but it’s not overwhelming, thank you.”

You smiled at your companion and proceeded to get in line. “So do you eat human food? I mean, can you eat food? If not then-”

“Just get me a black coffee.”

“Okay.” You turned and look at the menu to see what you want, but stop when you realized something. “Wait, you can read? I mean, you can read the menu?”

“Like I said, I gain the memories and abilities of the person whose blood I drank, the more I drink the more knowledge I acquire, skills especially.”

“I remember you telling me that. So if that’s the case, what did you get from my blood?”

“I just got you entering the estate up until your encounter with me, from the tiny amount that I licked off your arm”

“So the more of my blood you drink the more of my memories you get?”

“Theoretically.”

“Ohh…” Was all you said, ending the conversation, you don’t know how you feel about Al haitham getting more and more of your memories each time he drinks your blood

Once in front of the cashier you order your drinks and getting your coffee you two walked out of the coffee shop and make your way down the street

The two of you walked in a comfortable silence and you took a couple of glances at your companion. He just looking around but his face remains stoic, you wonder what’s going on his mind. You want to ask him but you decide against it

Out of the corner of your eye you spotted a supermarket and remember that you’re running low on food back in the apartment

“Uh, I have to do some food shopping, wanna come with?” You asked

“A trip to the market sounds interesting.”

After crossing the street and entering the building you see a shift in demeanor in your vampire companion’s, amazed by the sheer size of the medium sized building

“This is a supermarket! This is where people purchase food items and some non food items like stuff for cleaning!” You explain while taking a shopping cart

Al haitham looked around, absorbing the sights and the knowledge you’re dropping on him. The two of you head to the bread section and Al haitham watched as you carefully inspected the two packets of bread before turning to him. “You only need to drink blood to survive right?” Al haitham merely nodded, “Oh thank god, that rental really threw my budget outta wack so I need to be more cautious about my spending.” you said as you chucked the cheapest option into your cart

You kept shopping and Al haitham put things in your carts that apparently looked interesting to him. You two head to the produce section and it seems like something caught the king’s eye

“What… what is this?” Al haitham asked you as he showed you a fruit he’s holding

“That’s dragon fruit.”

“Hmm, ‘dragon fruit’ how come I’ve never heard of such a fruit before?” He asked as he put it in your cart

“That’s because the fruit originates from Mexico.”

“Mexico? This land, is this modern Rome?”

“Uhh no.”

“Is this city a part of the empire?”

“The empire fell like a thousand years ago…”

“Thank the gods.”

You chuckled at the unexpected response from him and spotted the grapes

“Damn, they have these!” You gasped as you held a packet of grapes. Turning towards your companion you showed him the bag. “You had grapes right? These grapes are modified to taste like cotton candy!”

“Cotton candy?” You nodded

You watched as Al haitham opened the bag and plopped a grape into his mouth. You can feel the glares from a couple of employees burning holes in the back of your head

“Hmm, I have no reference to what cotton candy tastes like, but it taste sweet.”

“Glad you like them.” You took the bag of grapes and reluctantly place them in your cart, at least they’re not the expensive ones, but it still hurts.

You look into your cart and see that you accumulated a sizable amount of food, most of it from the grey haired vampire putting items that interest him

“Hey Al haitham, don’t you think we should put some of this stuff back?” You said hoping that he would agree with you

“I don’t see the point in that, and besides you promised that you would guide me through this world and that includes trying foods.” He stated coldly

Defeated you made your way to the cashier and put your items on the conveyor belt. You watched as the cashier scanned your items and the amount rising with each swipe across the scanner

“Is something wrong?” Al haitham asked

“It’s just this is a lot more expensive than what I originally expected, I wish this stuff could be like $12.” You joked

The vampire lets out a hum of acknowledgment and turned his attention towards the cashier. You watched curiously as he his eyes turned into a bright shade of red and he slowly waved his hand in front of the worker. The poor cashier’s face turns blank like they’re in a trance, their eyes also a bright shade of red

“Forget about the price and let us take our items for $12.” He commanded

The helpless cashier took many items off and the price reader only said around 12 dollars. You wanted to protest but you bit your tongue and paid with your card

Once the both of you exited the supermarket you let out a sigh

“What was that?!” You whispered yelled

“I only took temporary control of their mind to reduce the price of your items.”

“You can also do that?! That’s scary, not knowing when you’re under the control of someone else. You’ll never put me under that, right?”

“You have my word.”

The two of you walked in an awkward silence until Al haitham asked about the conveyor belt back in the supermarket. You explained to him what it was and explained other things that caught his eye. It gave a nice distraction to the thought of not being in control of your own body whenever the man walking besides you feels like it

Finally you and Al haitham arrive back to your humble apartment and after you put the food away you turned towards your new roommate

“So, sleeping arrangements? How is that going to work?”

“I don’t need to sleep like you do, I’ll just sit on the couch and read.”

“Okay, I’ll explain any question you have tomorrow, but I’m really sleepy and can’t explain things that good.” You said as you walked into your room and come out with a notebook and pen. “Here, you can write down everything you what to ask me and I’ll answer them in the morning, okay?” You gave Al Haitham the notebook and thumbs up before retiring for the night. “G’night.”

“Goodnight.”

With that you went to bed

Next morning you came out of your room groggy and with crazy bed head

“Heyy…”

“Good morning. I take it you’re well rested.”

“Yeah, surprisingly slept good last.”

“That’s good to hear.” Al haitham said as he closed the book he was reading. “Tell me, what is alpha tocopherol acetate?”

“Huh?”

“It was written on one of the items you purchased yesterday.”

“I have no idea what the hell that is.”

“I don’t understand how you don’t know the ingredients of the foods you consume?”

“I’ve never heard of whatever the fuck you just said! Wait. That sounds familiar…” You begin to search each corner of your mind to remember what it was he was talking about. “Wait! That’s vitamin E!”

“Why does it have a second name?”

“I don’t know?! Nobody pays attention to their chemical names!”

“You know coffee’s chemical name, so why don’t you know what alpha tocopherol acetate is?”

“Caffeine is a lot easier to say than whatever just came out of your mouth.” You began to make some coffee until your actions were halted at a sudden realization. “Hey Al haitham, d-did you write every chemical name on the ingredient list?” You asked horrified while peering over at the notebook the man’s hands

Dear lord, he did, pages of chemicals puts you in a daze

It’s way too early in the morning for this shit

[beanswrites]

Who I Should've Been

ya'll the idea for this popped into my head as i was writting the first chapter of my Peter B. Parker fic (soon on ao3!!) and i just had to do it immediately

i know it's just like a drabble but lmk if you want a whole, one-shot version, i think this has some VERY GOOD angst, second-chance romance potential

also brace yourself this is ANGST angst, i know there's no like major death or anything but it still HURTS😭😭😭

pairings: Peter B. Parker (from Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse) x fem! reader

tags: angst, regret, hurt/no comfort, kind of a cliff-hanger??

summary: Peter is your ex-boyfriend, which you broke up with because he never put in much effort into your relationship. Seven months later, you find Spiderman on your rooftop after one of his patrols.

requests are open!! | masterlist | rules for requesting

It was a cold night in NYC, usual for November. You had just gotten off from work and were in a desparate need for some fresh air, so you made way to your building's rooftop.

It wasn't particularly nice - nothing that would get people to come regularly. Especially you. This place was your secret place with Peter, that jerk of you ex who didn't bother once to call and ask you how you've been in the last seven months. Seven fucking months since you got in a fight and broke up, and he never even asked you how you've been.

Yet, it seemed like the only option, so tonight, it wouldn't matter. He wouldn't matter.

There was another figure out there - one of your neighbors, you assumed, sitting on the edge of the rooftop with his head in his hands, looking over at the city lights.

Wait, was the figure... Wearing a mask?

"Oh, Mr. Spiderman, hello! What.. are you doing here? Any villains? Oh, god- Should I leave?"

Spiderman seemed equally as surprised and starstruck to see you as you did him.

"No, uh, no! Just, on patrol.."

You didn't believe a word he said. You knew very well how to spot a man in despair - and he looked like one.

"Could I.. sit here?"

"Sure."

You sat next to him, wallowing in the beauty of the many lights. The silence between you two was uncomfortable, since it was obvious he had something weighing heavy on his mind.

"Are.. Are you okay?" You ask, unsure whether you should try and pride in.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm gonna be okay."

"You don't look fine to me..."

Spiderman bit the inside of his cheek, like he was struggling to say whathever was wrong.

"I, just... Going through a break up"

"Yikes. Bad one?"

"Yeah. Pretty bad."

"Me too. I know it sucks, but it'll get better over time"

He chuckles sarcastically, shaking his head. If only you knew...

"No, not really. Not for me, at least"

"Aww, come on! It will get better, it always does-"

He cut you off sharply, a stern look in him.

"No, it never does. Not when you fucked up as bad as I did. Not when... Shit, not when you lose as much as I did."

An uncomfortable silence reigned. You felt bad for him, but in the end, you could relate. You, too, were trying to heal from a break up that broke you.

"You love her?"

He looks at you. His eyes are covered by the mask and yet, you feel how he's looking at you: full of regret and sadness.

"More than anything... But I fucked up. She won't take me back."

You nodded, your gaze returning to the city skyline.

"What about you..? You miss him?"

Please say yes. Please say you've been a wreck without me like I've been without you.

"Well, it's... Complicated. He was the greatest love I've ever known but.. He just wasn't there for me. Ever. And it eventually got too much for me. His abscense, his lack of attention, everything. It's been a long time, and I think I moved on pretty good. But.. But I still miss him sometimes."

Spiderman smirks.

"He must be an idiot"

You chuckle sweetly, enjoying your time with the superhero.

"Yeah, I guess he kinda was. It's one of the things I loved most about him"

He smiles sadly, suddenly getting up.

"I should go now, got some bad guys to catch. You take care of yourself, alright?"

All you could do was nod before he swung from your building onto another, and then another, and then another....

Maybe it was just your imagination, but the sound of Spiderman's voice sounded awfully comforting. Awfully familiar.

that's all for this one (or is it???)!! thank you sm for reading, follow for more! and lmk if this should be a one shot!! <33

[luvistqrzzz]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 super shy — 008 — shut up simp ( ignore timestamps !! ) wc: 0.2k

'y/n psst!' his voice came again. you looked up from the textbook you were studying while riki was supposed to be doing sums. 'riki... please for once study', you replied in a slightly stern voice. riki was a good student, he just needed to concentrate a bit more which he was well, not very successful in.

'c'mon we study everyday! i can't wrap my head around these proving a circle questions', he whined. 'do you want me to explain to you again?'

'no but you could ditch this study session with me.' you stopped, looking at him, his face having a slight mischievous smile. you sighed, it's not like you wanted to continue teaching him. you could do with a break... right?

plus, it was with riki so maybe... it won't be a bad idea. 'please please please', he begged, giving you fake puppy eyes.

'why with me though? you can go alone or something', you asked, closing your textbook. 'hey i'm not that cruel to ditch you plus i'd like to spend more time with you that doesn't involve sitting in a library with stale coffee.'

you were a bit taken aback and couldn't help the blush rising in your cheeks, 'oh. well then, i guess i'm in.' a bright smile spread accross riki's face. 'just.for.today', you added threatingly.

prev | masterlist | next

summary- as if bribing people with pringles to vote for him as class prez wasn't enough, riki had to get respectable amount of grades to really contest in it. so, what happens when a hopeless riki approaches you, his quiet shy classmate whose painfully crushing on him, to tutor him? will you take his offer to finally shoot your shot?

genre- smau with written parts, classmates to lovers, crush!niki, fluff, pinch of angst maybe, high school!au, shy girl x popular boy kinda, tutor!reader (cliche ikkk)

taglist- open - send an ask or comment to be added (bold=cannot tag)

@heesluvrgirl @yenqa @latriii @gyulune @flwrshee @imhuh @str0l0gy @rshmra @kjrcrz @gyuszie @hysgf @dneltrise @aernx @yunicide @beomgyusonlywife @i-izumii @cha0thicpisces @misokei @sunoosluvr @txtmetonight @captivq @neighborhae @girlindiesel @pinkbarbi3dolly @rikislady @heetoldme @j1nniee @k1ttylvr @whoschr @staryyeon @soomelon @thea-herondale @enhaz1 @smollquokka @svn-lvn @chaerybae @en-dream @gothvkth @spilled-coffee-cup @ashy1um @jayujus @yumilovesloona @teddywonss @darlingalieee @haechansbbg @chaechae-23 @angrybananapolice @jwonsite @mrowwww @elysianeclipxe @07myonlylove @str4wb3rizz

an- uhm hiii i bet yall forgot this existed cuz i sure did (dw i hate myself for this too 😞),,, but on the other hand lets the ignore the fact that twitter is now called by the name of X or wtf is up with the new name huh ?! i made this chapter half asleep pls lmk any errors </3 gn guys

[notgonnaedit]

Healer's Heart

Replacements

Summary: When Order 66 ushers in a new era, Althea and the Batch must find their place

Pairing: Bad Batch x Teen!OFC (clones being good brothers/dads)

Chapter summary: After crashing landing on an remote moon, Hunter and the girls must hunt a creature in order to leave

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, Hunter learning how to dad, Wrecker being comedic relief, Omega being smart, angst, Crosshair being "depressed", fluff (If I miss a tag LMK)

Master list

Hunter walked to the back of the ship, ration case in his hand. Ever since they fled Saleucami, the Bad Batch had been in hyperspace. Echo had repaired the damaged parts of the ship, but they were still in dire need of a place to land. The Sergeant reached his destination by the gunner's mount. Althea and Omega leaned against an upturned Gonky. Omega was reading something on a datapad and Althea was drawing in her journal. The two of them shifted against the droid, earning a light chuckle from Hunter.

"Well, that doesn't look comfortable," He said. "For any of you."

"We're fine." Omega said sweetly.

Hunter reached into the box and took out two ration sticks. "Here. Chow time."

Each girl reached up and took one. Althea slid back down onto Gonky and stared at her journal. She looked distant, as if she was lost in her mind.

Wrecker jumped down from the gunner's mount. "Ah, finally!" He grabbed a ration bar and ate the whole thing in one bite. "Hit me again."

Hunter closed the box. "That's all for now. Rations are low."

Wrecker let out a groan, earning the attention of Omega. She looked down at her bar before reaching it up to him. "You can have mine."

Wrecker grinned and reached for it, but Hunter pushed him back. "Hey, Omega doesn't even have a place to sleep." He said quietly. "You wanna take her food too?"

Wrecker's face dropped. "Oh. Uh...No." He turned to Omega. "No, thanks. You keep it."

"Okay." Omega sat back down, munching on her food as she read.

"I guess I'm not used to having a little kid around here." Wrecked mumbled.

Hunter looked back at the girls. "Well, none of us are, but she's not complaining." He often wondered if he was even doing the right thing with Althea, but now there were two.

The lights flickered, causing Hunter to frown. "Echo, lights cut out again. I thought you said you fixed it."

The ARC fiddled with something in the cockpit. "Yeah, add it to the list."

Hunter could hear Echo complain about the lack of Tech's help, but the Sergeant knew his younger brother was working on something to do with their chips. After Crosshair, they couldn't be too careful. 

Even the thought of Crosshair made Hunter want to clench his fists. How could he betray them, their squad, for some empire?

The Sergeant was ripped from his thoughts as the Marauder jolted. Out the window, Hunter could see the blue swirls of hyperspace change into the black void of space. He ran into the cockpit, grabbing Tech's chair for support. "Getting thrown out of hyperspace. I'd say that's pretty critical, Tech."

Tech flipped a few switches. "It's not affecting life support. We're fine."

"Are you kidding me?" Hunter scoffed.

"The power capacitor's blown." Said Echo. "We need to land immediately."

Althea gripped the wall for support. "Get ready for your first crash, kid."

Omega's eyes widened. "Crash?"

Hunter sat behind Echo, gripping the edge of his seat. "Girls, strap in."

Wrecker put the safety bar over Omega and Althea before sitting between them and strapping himself in.

The ship rumbled as Echo and Tech struggled to land. "I can't see anything!" The ARC groaned.

"Hold on!" Hunter ordered, his fingers digging into his seat. Gonky slid across the floor, stopped at the seat by Hunter.

"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Wrecker panicked. "We're gonna–" He stopped when he saw Omega's frightened expression. "Be fine. We're gonna be fine." He faked a smile, but the damage was already done. Althea resisted the urge to facepalm as she gripped the safety bar.

The ship crashed into the surface of the moon, jolting everyone around. Wrecker shouted in pain when he hit his head on the bar with a sharp clang!

When the ship finally stopped, Hunter stood and picked up Gonky. "Everybody alright?" He asked. 

Wrecker panted, Althea gave a weak thumbs up, and Omega opened her eyes. "Is it over?" She asked.

Hunter released a breath he hadn't realized he was a holding. They were alive.

                       •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"The storm's getting worse." Echo said from the console. "It's knocking out our comms."

"I mean, who would we contact anyway?" Althea asked. Her arms were folded as she spoke and her tone was soft. Hunter knew something was wrong with her, but now wasn't the time to ask.

"I suspect one of our capacitors sustained damage during our firefight with the regs." Said Tech. "We won't be able to take off without replacing it. Inventory analysis indicates we have one spare on board."

Omega grunted as she moved a large case. "Is it in here?" She asked as it thudded on the floor.

Silence was all she got for a response as everyone watched her. "What?" She asked.

"That's Crosshair's weapon kit." Althea said slowly. She gripped her arms tighter, biting her lip.

Wrecker let out a groan. "Fine. I'll say it. I kinda miss him."

"He shot you, remember?" Echo asked.

Wrecker laughed and rolled his shoulder. "Ha! I sure do. That hurt!"

"It's worth noting the possibility that Crosshair's actions were influenced by his inhibitor chip." Tech said.

"It can do that?" Echo's question was directed at Omega.

The blonde nodded. "That's what it was designed to do."

"So, it wasn't Crosshair's fault?" Wrecker asked, a bit of hope in his voice.

Tech adjusted his goggles. "Well..."

Hunter stopped him. "Look, debating this won't fix the ship. Right now, we need to find that capacitor and get off this rock." He walked away into the cockpit, ending the conversation.

                         •°•°•°•°•°•°•

As Echo and Tech tried to fix the ship, Althea sat in the cockpit. She pressed her vibro blade against her fingers, feeling the rapid jittering of the knife. Omega came up next to her, sitting down and playing with an air filtration mask.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing really." Althea said. She sheathed her knife in the strap on her thigh.

Omega looked at her, furrowing her brow. "Is something wrong?" She asked.

Only that the entire galaxy has changed and Crosshair's gone. Not to mention the general feeling that anything that could go wrong would. But Althea didn't say that. Instead she turned to the girl and forced a smile. "No, nothing's wrong."

Omega hummed in thought before turning back to the mask. She turned it on and off, pressing it to her mouth.

Wrecker groaned from the other room. "Ow! Ow."

"What's wrong with you?" Hunter asked.

Wrecker clutched his head. "I must've hit my head in the crash. Ow."

Althea stood and walked over to him. "Sit down." She ordered.

Wrecker did as she said. The demo man learned a long time ago not to question Althea's orders, since she was usually right. The medic looked at the spot Wrecker was clutching.

"Hmm." She hummed. "Doesn't seem to be anything major. It'll probably just bruise."

Just then, Echo and Tech walked in the ship from outside. "The capacitor's in place," Said Tech as he took off his mask. "But other systems are now failing."

"Something's causing damage to the exterior hull." Echo added, taking off his mask.

"You wanna narrow that down?" Hunter asked. As if answering him, the lights flickered and the ship hummed as it shut down. A heavy thudding echoed across the ship. 

Omega gasped and stood up on her chair. "Look!"

Everyone ran into the cockpit. "What?" Althea asked. "What is it?"

"Some kind of creature, about this big, with a long tail." Omega opened her arms as she spoke, demonstrating the size of the creature. "It ran off with the part."

Tech moved to the controls. "She's right. The capacitor's gone."

"And that was our last one." Said Echo.

"The creature was most likely an Ordo Moon Dragon." Tech explained. "A species that feeds on raw energy. It was probably drawn to the capacitor's electric charge."

"Well, that would've been good to know before hand, Tech." Echo snarked.

Hunter looked around, a plan already forming in his head. "You two get those other systems online." He said to Echo and Tech. "Thea, stay here and tend to Wrecker. I'll go after the dragon and get our part back."

Althea rolled her eyes. "Pfft. Yeah, I'm coming with you. I can't do anything for Wrecker anyway, and you'll get yourself killed doing something stupid." She grabbed her blaster and a mask.

Hunter, like Wrecker, knew there was no talking her out of it. "Fine, just don't make me regret it."

"Do I ever?" She retorted.

"Yes."

Wrecker tried to convince Hunter that he could go too. "I'm fine. I–" He groaned and clutched his head.

"You're staying." Hunter ordered. 

"I'll go with you." Omega volunteered.

Hunter checked his knife. "No, that could be dangerous."

"I'm part of this squad now too, right?" Omega's sounded as if puppy dog eyes had a voice. Hunter turned to her, glancing at Echo and Tech. The former shrugged.

"Alright, kid." Hunter said. "Just stay close."

Omega grinned as she put her mask on. She ran to the ramp and waited for Hunter and Althea. The medic shrugged at the Sergeant before putting her own mask on and walking to Omega. Hunter looked at Tech and Echo one last time, silently asking what to do before stepping outside.

The surface of the moon was grey and dusty, not unlike the floor of the Marauder. It was dark, night if you could call it that. Large rocks and parts of the moon jutted out, making it seem like strange figures were watching the three that trekked it's lands. Hunter kneeled down and sifted a handful of dirt in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Omega asked.

"Tracking." Hunter stood and continued on. Althea smiled to herself as she watched Omega run the dirt through her fingers in the same manner Hunter did.

"Could I learn to track like you?" The blonde asked.

"Well, it's an enhanced skill." Hunter explained. "Wrecker and Tech, we each have one."

"And Crosshair." Omega added.

Hunter set his jaw as Althea knit her brow. It was no secret among them that neither of them wanted to talk about the missing sniper.

"You shouldn't be angry at him." The young clone said as she trailed behind the two. "He can't help it."

Hunter let out a sigh. "I'm angry at myself. We don't leave our own behind."

Omega grabbed his arm. "Then we'll find a way to get him back... somehow."

Hunter nodded to the girl, a small smile under his mask.

Althea didn't realize that was how Hunter felt. It made her feel inadequate. There was Hunter, upset he couldn't save Crosshair while Althea was angry for how he betrayed them. The sniper wanting to execute civilians was something the medic couldn't get out of her head. If the Batch hadn't taken her in, she would have been one of those refugees. A person Crosshair was so willing to kill. 

But with the sniper gone, something felt missing. Althea hadn't felt like that since her brother died, another thing on her mind. The image of her little brother lying dead on the floor of the Separatist ship still haunted her. After visiting Cut and Suu, Althea hadn't realized how much she missed her family. It was almost identical. Mom, dad, older sister, little brother. But the difference between them and the medic was they got a happy ending. Althea would never see her family again. She didn't even get to bury them.

The medic felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, guilt. She shouldn't feel this way when she had a home with the Bad Batch. All her needs were met, yet she still felt a lingering pain. All she wanted was to tell someone about this gnawing inside of her, but she worried they would think she was ungrateful. Maybe she could talk to Echo. He might know what she was feeling.

                              •°•°•°•°•°•

The trio continued to follow the dragon, mainly Hunter. A quiet beeping earned the attention of the Sergeant. Just ahead of them was the capacitor, blinking in the darkness.

"See it?" He asked shining the flashlight on it.

Althea and Omega nodded. Hunter moved forward. "Wait here."

He walked stealthily to the part. He was about to grab it when the dragon jumped out, roaring in cold defiance. It lunged at Hunter, tackling him to the ground before grabbing the part and escaping.

"It's getting away!" Omega said. But they had bigger problems. Hunter clutched his throat, coughing.

Althea's eyes widened as she saw his mask had been knocked off. "Hunter, your mask!"

The Sergeant collapsed to the ground, still clutching his throat. Althea scanned the ground. "Omega, where's his mask?!"

The girl came running over with the device, placing it over Hunter's mouth and nose. Althea didn't relax until she heard his breathing again. She heard a scuffling noise and looked up to see the dragon slipping into a burrow. She looked down and saw Hunter's blaster, his hand gripping it limply. 

Omega shook Hunter. "Hunter, wake up! Wake up!" When that didn't work she took his comm. "Echo, Wrecker, Tech, come in! We need help!" No response, the storm was still jamming their comms.

Althea turned to her. "Omega, I have a plan. But I'm gonna need you to listen to my exact instructions, okay?"

The girl nodded, eyes wide with fear.

Althea took Hunter's blaster and flashlight from his hands. "We're going after the dragon and the part. It's dangerous to go alone, so we need to stick together." She handed her the blaster.

Omega looked at it. "Me? But I can't–"

Althea's eyes flashed. "Omega, it doesn't matter what you can or can't do. We need to get that part in order to leave, okay?"

Omega took the blaster and light, staring at them. Althea rested her hand on girl's shoulder. "Omega, you can do this."

The girl took a deep breath. "Okay. I can do this." She stood and walked to the burrow, clicking on the light as she slid in. Althea followed soon after, looking back at Hunter one last time.

Althea shuddered a breath. She wanted nothing more to take off her claustrophobic mask, to breath freely. It was really ironic how it was the only reason she could breath. The tunnels were narrow, making the medic feel even more confined. The two girls navigated the dirt corridors until they found the part.

"Huh. Well, that was easy." Althea muttered. But as she was about to grab the part the dragon lept our and roared. Althea unsheathed her knife, pushing Omega against the wall. The blonde held the flashlight and blaster out, her hands shaking.

"What are you waiting for?" Althea whisper yelled. "Take the shot!"

But she didn't. Omega looked at the dragon, then turned off the light. The creature was less hostile now. Omega turned the light back on, and the dragon followed it's light. The blonde moved out from behind Althea, and tossed the flashlight to the creature. She then grabbed the part as the dragon grabbed the light.

Althea watched in amazement as the dragon guzzled down the energy. The spots on it's back glowing with a pulse. Faintly, she heard someone yelling.

"Althea! Omega!"

The medic realized that Hunter had woken up and was probably worried out of his mind. She nudged Omega, who nodded. They began their climb back to the surface.

"We're coming!" Althea shouted up.

When they reached the entrance, Hunter lifted the two girls out. He gripped Omega's shoulder with one hand and the back of Althea's head with the other. "Are you okay? What were you thinking going down there?"

"The mission was to retrieve the part, wasn't it?" Althea asked.

"We tracked the dragon, like you did." Omega added. She handed him his blaster.

Hunter let go of them, taking his pistol. "Is that my blaster?"

"Don't worry." Omega said with a smile. "I didn't have to use it."

Althea pointed to the capacitor in the blonde's hand. "We got the part."

Hunter looked down at the two of them, a mix of surprise and something else Althea couldn't identify. 

"Let's get back to the ship." The Sergeant said.

                          •°•°•°•°•°•

Hunter couldn't believe the girls went after the dragon. Now they were safely aboard the ship, waiting as Tech prepared to leave. The Sergeant would never forget the feeling of waking up alone on that moon. The panic set in as soon as he remembered what happened, and when he realized that the girls were gone.

But he would also never forget how when they came back, how surprised he was. They had managed to get the part, all on their own. Hunter had felt a swell of pride as he looked at them. Realizing Althea's leadership and Omega's intuition when they recalled the story to him. He would be lying if he said they didn't worry him, but they were still very capable.

Hunter lifted his arm as Omega ran past him into a seat, Althea in the one across from her. "Tech, get us outta here."

"Gladly." Tech flew the ship away from the moon. "Systems are up and running."

"Yeah, took you long enough." Wrecker said as he walked into the cockpit.

"And where have you been?" Echo asked.

Ignoring him, Wrecker squatted down in front of Omega. "Hey, kid. Come with me. Cover your eyes." He held out his hand for her to take, leading her into the back of the ship.

Curious to what Wrecker was up to, Hunter followed.

"Okay." Wrecker said. "Open 'em." He chuckled as he pushed back a curtain on the gunner's mount. Inside were several lights with a soft glow, a curtain on the window, and padding on the metal bars. Omega climbed inside, looking around.

"It's your own room." Wrecked explained. "Well, what do you think? I thought this place could feel more like a home."

The others had joined them, smiling as Omega beamed. "It's perfect. Thank you, Wrecker."

The demo man stammered. "Oh, uh. It was nothing."

Omega took Lula and hugged it tightly, sliding down against the wall. "I never had my own room before."

Hunter smiled at her. "Well, you're a part of this squad now too." He looked over at Althea and saw she was smiling too. 

                         •°•°•°•°•°•°•

Crosshair sat on his bunk, his pack and rifle by his feet. The barracks were clean and the beds were neat. The sniper had often griped about the messes his brothers and sister made, but he never thought he'd miss it. It felt wrong, watching his new squad settle down in the bunks they once had. Only the art on Hunter's bunk and the mathematic doodles on Tech's remained. But even those felt out of place in the clean room.

Crosshair's eyes stayed on the ground. They caught a glimpse of color in the grey room. A single petal, most likely from one of Althea's flowers she pressed. It was the only remaining thing in the room that belonged to the Bad Batch. 

A troop walked through the room, crushing the petal under his foot.

Crosshair felt a cold feeling settle over him. His squad, the ones who always had his back no matter what, his ride or die, were gone.

They left him behind.

<- Previous

Next ->