#neil cant take much more guys

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

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“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

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do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

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oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

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wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

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It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

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Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

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“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

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Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

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betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

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“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

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“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

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“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

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“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

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“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

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CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

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They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

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“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

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ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

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‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

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dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

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Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

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Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

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SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

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“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

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everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

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kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

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“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

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She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

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Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

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“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

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i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

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“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

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JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

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jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

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So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

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Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

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SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

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You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

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no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

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um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

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Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

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only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

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nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

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i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

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jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

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“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

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Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

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Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

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YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

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Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

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The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

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“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

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“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

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He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

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Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

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“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

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ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

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“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

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“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

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i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

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jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

au in which nathaniel is married to riko

okay so

in this universe there's no mafia, the moriyamas are just filthy rich businessmen, but nathan still is a serial killer

things go a bit different in the sense that nathan kills mary when neil is 10 bc he loses his temper and keeps neil practically captive in that house, torturing him endlessly until nathan slips up and somehow the fbi finds the evidence they need to raid the house when neil is idk 15 ish and they end up killing nathan and neil is sent to foster care

he doesn't have as bad a time in foster care as andrew did, some parents like slapping him around, but some are genuinely nice people

ultimately tho he's not adopted by anyone by the time he turns 18 (he tells himself he doesn't mind, who would want a damaged and quiet and sketchy and flighty kid in their family anyway?)

he's left on his own, to figure out how to be a real person, an adult, with no home, no place to stay, no friends, no family, nothing but himself

he goes through a few years where he just lives on the streets, spending the little money he has left on food, going to shelters when he can, traveling through states until he gets to new york

he's attacked and harassed by some guy at some point outside a bar or something and he's so dazed he cant even fight back, but someone fights back for him

and its riko moriyama, famous fucking exy star and professional athlete

he saves neil and he takes him to his place, where he lets him stay and recover and hey, he's actually kind of sweet, and he really cares about neil, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay with him? and when riko kisses him the first time maybe its not so bad? and maybe when they start dating he's incredibly loving and he gives him gifts and it's the happiest neil has been? and maybe when riko proposes neil says yes and they get married and they're happy? genuinely happy for once?

except that at some point, the love becomes anger, the sweet gestures become punches, the care becomes jealousy and control and pain, and what was the best thing in neils life becomes a nightmare once more

(and maybe he blames himself, maybe its neil thats the problem, maybe its him who brings out the worst in people, maybe he's doomed to this cycle of abuse)

its not until riko beats neil withing an inch of his life that neil runs

OH SHIT WAIT LMAO I FORGOT TO SAY

neil doesn't actually go by neil throughout all of this, he still goes by nathaniel, his legal name, nathaniel wesninski is married to riko moriyama not neil josten

so neil runs and runs and runs with what little money he could steal from riko and he adopts neil josten's identity until he physically cannot keep going

luckily for him, his collapse happens far enough, all the way in seattle in the same pharmacy that medical intern aaron minyard was buying some supplies

so yeah aaron freaks out and almost calls an ambulance but neil stops him bc he's scared bc riko might not have mafia connections in this universe but he has so much fucking money

and it takes aaron and katelyn and abby on the phone for them to fix a heavily beat up neil who should definitely go to the hospital but this is the best they can do

(aaron just assumes he's homeless, and he cant pay the hospital, and he's a fucking softie deep inside so he does everything he can to help how he can)

and maybe when kate catches neil sneaking out one night, she does everything to stop him and offers him safety and maybe the exchange some truths, maybe kate guesses that neil had someone that abused him, maybe someone he loved and neil is scared and he doesn't feel like he can trust anyone but something about kate makes him break down and tell her what he can while making sure he doesn't reveal much

and im taking too long but basically aaron and kate take neil in and they introduce him to the foxes and to the legendary kevin day and andrew minyard, professional exy players for the seattle exy team

and well it takes time and lots of trust before neil lets himself open up again

but its in the form of andrew minyard and the way they can both respect each others boundaries, and neil tells andrew about nathan, but never reveals the truth about being married or anything about riko moriyama

until andrew asks neil to marry him and well

it all goes to shit lol

neil cant bring himself to tell andrew the truth and it all becomes a mess and andrew breaks things up and neil becomes a mess as well

(bc its true, it's on him, its always on him and god he never learns, he never fucking learns, he doesn't fucking get happy endings, he doesn't fucking get good things)

and he tries to leave aaron and kate's place again, and he's successful this time and he's on his way out of seattle when he stops by a gas station to get some food and he has no idea of where he's going and he hesitates for a while, until he catches the eye of andrew on his car outside, and andrew just looks away and leaves and-

and if neil was hesitating before he's sure now and he has to leave for good and he has to leave and get away and never come back and

and he runs right into riko moriyama as he's leaving the store

to be continued maybe??

[dtmsrpfcringe]

The "NG ships MS and DT romantically" anon CRACKS me uo because how LITTLE deductive reasoning and media literacy do you have to have to think that "love" is explicitly romantic. Yeah they love each other in the way best friends do, the way lifeling friends do. Love isn't "get freaky in the bedroom" its an emotional bond between two individuals whose world wouldn't be as bright without the other. (And it also implies a homophobic and aphobic undertone that says two men cant love each other unless its sexual and romantic which makes me even more disgusted)

- 📺

okay hi quick question does the TV emoji mean you're the same anon? Because if so I absolutely love you and your takes never miss.

It's really quite sad that these guys can't be friends and have any sort of platonic love. It showcases a much deeper problem with these people and I hope that they get some help..also as we know Neil is 1000% serious all the time. Never even a bit sarcastic. Never even. Good omens was actually a documentary in fact!!

Ugh.

[desire-mona]

dps boy weedcanons because i make my being a stoner a personality trait. dps boy weedcanons because i am insufferable and not fun to talk to. dps boy weedcanons because it will be the most rebellious thing any of them do in their entire lives

neil

not listening to anything anyone is saying

must be sitting the whole time

greened out trying to impress todd with this tolerance he doesnt have

actually i take it back he's listening to (and laughing at) everything todd is saying

todd

fully convinced he will be found out, arrested, then promptly crucified

worst cottonmouth out of anyone

simultaneously the funniest and the giggliest which nobody expects

greened out trying to impress neil with this tolerance he doesnt have

charlie

supplier, wont tell anyone where he got it (doesnt remember where he got it)

high cryer, it's embarrassing, nobody mentions it but they all silently hold the knowledge and collectively agree that it Doesnt Fit the Charlie Agenda

touchy. like not for the sake of it but for the sake of remembering that there are other people around him

so loud. just so loud. so loud and so standing. why is he standing sit down. youre yelling charlie

cameron

retells the same story 15 times. actually he doesnt retell it fully any of those times because he goes on a bunch of different tangents

nearly pisses himself when charlie looks at him as earnestly as he can and goes "you're too high. we called your parents and theyre coming to get you"

totally didnt wanna smoke but is sooooo immune to peer pressure. the peers did not in fact pressure at all and even offered to just. not. but he was like guys its cringe to deny it i cant be cringe. (the cam agenda im pushing where he is so scared of authority but way more scared of embarrassing himself in front of his friends)

doesnt move at all. actually hes laying down the whole time. actually hes asleep nvm guys

knox

idk dude

i dont like knox im not the guy to ask

dont know this guy dont care to

knox fans reblog with whatever u like ill probably agree

pitts

eats everything. eats everything. eats everything. eats everything. eat

wants to do everything at once. time is moving WAY too slow and he just needs. he just needs to be busy

sensories are off the CHARTS! this guy is FEELING HIS SURROUNDINGS!!! HIS SKIN IS HIS SKIN AND BY GOD IF HE HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TOE HE FELT HE WOULD HAVE A WHOLE $11 BABY

regrets everything. wakes up the next day just so filled with food and dread. his body is made of sandbags.

meeks

asthmatic but thinks this is the time he can beat said asthma and smokes anyway. so basically it is not the time

he is so sure of himself and his ability to say the most intellectual things possible. he is spewing so much nonsense thinking it is SO smart

is so excited to be doing something Bad that he almost tells keating earlier that day

like pitts, he can also feel everything. but oh. oh this is troubling. his SKIN is his SKIN. by GOD if he had a dollar for every toe he felt he would have way too many dollars.

[madfoxx]

listen i loved s2 as much as the next guy but some of the plotholes are just hilarious to me because they employ the fanfiction logic of “i want this scenario to happen so it will just happen” and i feel people aren´t talking about it enough, so here are some of the things that made me go “oh, no beta read huh.”:

1) first question: why the fuck did gabriel delete his memory?? seriously though, i havent seen one single post about this, but i just dont understand!? So, heaven threatens to fire gabriel and delete his memory, which, okay, bad news. and then his solution is to....delete his own memory for them, so now he doesnt remember his own name let alone the love of his life, beelzebub, who he planned to run away with?? WHY??? he left heaven immediately afterwards anyways it literally made no sense and just caused major problems for everyone involved. But i guess the answer is: we needed him to have no memory for the story to happen so that makes sense by ao3 standarts

2) on a related note, why was he naked?? he could have just speedwalked outta heaven in his suit with the matchbox in his pocket, so why strip down?? Again, no reason, but arent you glad we got to see john hamms naked butt, so lets pin that on gabriel being an sweet dumb himbo maybe

3) also, how did he find aziraphales shop while not even remembering his own name? Dont know dont care, googlemaps probably.

4) not really a plothole, but that whole Maggie and Nina getting locked in the bookshop thing was the tropiest trope they pulled this season and it didnt even work because we got nothing from that scene, not even one hearfelt deep conversation

5) this one is a bit pedantic, but how is it that a demon with magical powers has to live in his car? i guess its a character thing and we need to see him at his lowest point but he could literally just miracle himself an enormous pot of gold if he wanted to

6) why would beelzebub order an attack on the bookshop and risk gabriels life? why didnt they simply explain the situation to aziraphale & crowley? well you see we didnt want the story to be over after 1 episode and also we needed a finale of some sort.

7)  i mean the whole attack on the bookshop was just....a thing that happened i guess. kinda strange the demons (especially shax who seems to have at least 1 spare braincell) would dare to kidnap an archangel in the first place. isnt he like, insanely powerful? and they didnt even know he lost his memory, so to them he was just an archangel hanging out on earth because he wanted to. how did they think storming the bookshop and taking him prisoner would go down?

8) tbh i dont really understand why heaven wanted gabriel back so much they would threaten to destroy anyone helping him and then....they just let him just go without any problems whatsoever? feels incredibly anticlimactic and illogical to me but i suppose the season needed some kind of threat to make the romantic elements work

9) this might actually get resolved in s3 but i cant believe Upstairs wants aziraphale - an angel who spend years deceiving heaven and overall just sucked at his job because he was too busy trying to fuck a demon - they want him to be the new supreme archangel of heaven. he literally stopped the last apocalypse a couple of days ago and now he´s in charge of armageddon 2.0? that´ll for sure take some explaining!

there´s a lot more stuff, but these are the most obvious things that have been on my mind since s2 aired. i also want to reiterate that i do love many things about this season despite the writing being all over the place. and no, i dont believe that all inconsistencies will be magically explained away by s3. i think it boils down to neil gaiman saying “lets make a big budget 6 chapter fanfic so david tennant and michael sheen can kiss each other on the mouth. also not beta we die like eric the disposable demon” and i can respect that. 

[alwaystuesday]

Ok so I'm still here.  Apparently. Floating around in all your art and metas and fanfic. And it's wonderful and angst-inducing at the same time. 

Some thoughts I'm mostly writing down and sharing to try to help them escape the confines of my tired, tired head. Maybe then I can have some peace? Probably not but still.  

1. I dont like assigning blame or taking sides between our ineffable idiots. Love isnt a competition. People are what they are and sometimes choice doesnt come into it. Sometimes everyone loses. Sometimes people can be absolutely made for each other - absolutely 100% destined and perfect, and just what the other needs. But their pasts and their presents and their emotional needs and external ties are just too far away from each other in a moment in time. It doesnt - cant - happen. Incompatible operating systems. Sometimes things work out later. Sometimes never. That's a real life outcome people have to live with sometimes, folks. 

2. Those guys are dorks. Look them both. Look at their hair style choices. Look at the angel's magic show and tartan compulsion. Crowley's ridiculous snake belt and fondness for ducks. I love them so much. I bet almost all of us can see a bit of both of them in ourselves. I'm an Aziraphale operating system with Crowley software. 

3. I'm in team they both consciously know they're in love with each other at least as far back as 1967. Probably in 1941 (I really hope there's a part 3 to the London Bliz meeting in s3). Maybe Crowley knew by the time he was asking for holy water. Maybe much earlier. In some ways I think the exact moment of realisation matters less than the fact that by S1 they def know and are both already used to repressing it. Pretending has become so second nature as to be everything. Part of their lived "us". And where do you even start unpicking something that's part of "us"? 

4. Whether they both have the same concept of what it is to be "in love" is an interesting question. My own concept of love has changed so much over time just during my couple of decades of adult life that I imagine 6000 years could take you to a lot of places, especially layering in the complexities and realities of queer love through history.

5. I am certain they're both living in a state of absolute terror at the implications and risks that such love creates - but in different ways. Crowley's experience of losing God's love, and the reality of the physical and mental torture that came with that and what that's done to him as an individual will hit much differently than the angel's maybe more abstract, but perhaps more encompassing fear for himself and for Crowley. Aziraphale has lost less and so has more still to lose. But the demon understands, anticipates the reality of loss much better. Perhaps it's not surprising that Crowley's default is to run away and defend what he has while Aziraphale's is to reach desperately for the outcome that maximises what he can keep (i.e. please can I keep heaven/God/Earth and Crowley?!)

6. I'm looking forward to seeing how S3 gets them through all this and to their happy ending. Because I dont believe Terry and Neil would leave those two with anything else in the end. 

Kudos to anyone who managed to read to the end of this nonsense!

[adidegmez]

invincible s1&2 spoilers

i'm starting to watch invincible for the first time and i wanted to write here.

i like the art style. and i thought episodes would be 20 minutes or something this is so much better.

s1 spoilers

s1 ep1(it's about time)

wow. ep was good i liked mark. but the end wow! i didnt see that coming. I saw Omni Man doing bad things before watching the series, but I didn't think it would happen this early. I liked the guardians. Why did he kill them?

s1 ep2(here goes nothing)

i like teen team. and eve. is omni-man lying? i think so. or did something else really happen? i think omni-man wants earth just for himself. and I didn't expect this much blood, at least not this early.

s1 ep3(who you calling ugly?)

guardians of the globe look a lot like the Justice League. mark would probably be better with eve. she'll understand him. but i like amber too. robot!? why?

s1 ep4(neil armstrong, eat your heart out)

yes, something is wrong with nolan. he is not truly a hero. If Superman or Spider-Man were in his place, they wouldn't be able to just stand by while the city is under attack. omni-man scares me. i dont know what comes next.

s1 ep5(that actually hurt)

omni-man let his son die. well, he is not dead but still he didnt save him. What was he thinking? i thought heroes were dead. im glad theyre still alive. and titan! He fooled invinvible.

s1 ep6(you look kinda dead)

its nice to see mark smile. i hope it can last, probably wont but still. whats robot doing? im glad william learned about invincible but amber should learn too. i really dont understand why omni-man killed the guardians. whats with the white house guy and his son we'll see i guess. eve is happy thats nice but mark… heroes cant have a normal relationship i guess.

s1 ep7(we need to talk)

I don't understand why omni-man killed the guardians. I can not understand. Why did he do it?

s1 ep8(where i really come from)

i thought Nolan was lying about his planet and its people. But judging by the name of this episode, Omni-Man may not be from Viltrum. we'll see. I liked that the logo became more bloody as the story progressed. Where is the invading alien? I think we will see it in season 2. this was so good. there are so much things to see in s2. i love mark. he changed his father and maybe in the future omni-man would help save the World because of his son. No one who knew Nolan believed he could do such a thing.

s2 spoilers

s2 ep1(a lesson for your next life)

This must be a different universe or another timeline or a dream. Mark doesn't do this. Someone must be controlling his mind. wasn't donald dead? it was a different dimension. and a villain is born. Mark already has a lot to take care of. now this!

s2 ep2(in about six hours i lose my virginity to a fish)

I hope mark and amber can make it work. The logo is starting to return to its old self. Does this indicate that things will get better? But this can't be, there are so many things, I don't know how it will turn into good?

s2 ep3(this missive, this machination!)

why? Why do they give up what they love for other people? I don't understand. In the TV series or movies I watch, most of the time, nerds compromise on the things they love to be normal. But I love them the way they are and I think they need to find nerds like themselves and live without compromising what they love. i dont know i just feel bad for the collection😅. who tells the story? i like allen. How is he still alive? I knew something was wrong with Thaedus. is allen dead now? seeing debbie, listening her stories makes me sad. nolan was a good dad and a good husband. and now he is gone. amber understands mark this is good. William helps mark. mark has amber eve William and debbie has no one. omni-man! i didnt think he would be back this early.

s2 ep4(it's been a while)

Nolan confuses me. I think he really liked Debbie and Mark. imo he is confused too. Debbie changed him. Maybe it would have been different if he wasn't a Viltrumite. He saved the aliens. He was doing heroism for his duty on Earth, but he didn't have to save those aliens, but he saved them anyways.

s2 ep5(this must come as a shock)

are dupli-kate and shrinking rae really dead? Why didn't Cecil send more heroes? Maybe then they could win. Allen is alive. Thaedus is a viltrumite?!

s2 ep6(it's not that simple)

what! rex died?! why? i thought someone would come and save him. Will the sequids return? They controlled Rudy's mind so I can't be sure. im glad debbie is raising the kid. dubli-kate is really dead.i liked her i liked them all. im glad rae and rex is alive(barely). amber and mark… they love each other. theyre good for each other but it wont work. i wish it could work. I think Rick will fight Invincible. he is a good guy if he was really him he wouldn't fight but he changed so I don't know what he'll do. sequids are back.

s2 ep7(i'm not going anywhere)

there ia 13th doctor cosplayer. i liked it. we saw her 3 times, i think it was the same woman. Am I paying too much attention or will something happen? first time okay second time was okay too but the 3rd time mark and amber was walkinkg and i saw her twice. It was very funny and cool that they animated every example Filip gave while he was talking. spider-man's hand gesture. I love the references. I wish they had erased Rick's memory too. It would be better. i liked april. I hope she doesn't do anything bad. amber and mark they always understood each other until the end. they still do. i wish things could be different but they cant be together. yes, allen is strong. but anissa was right they could save so many people. but what's bad is their attitude. If they had been a little more compassionate or kind, things could have been different. So many people would not have resisted and many worlds could have been saved with less loss.

s2 ep8(i thought you were stronger)

Talking dinosaurs? so many universe. mark is bad. The multiverse is confusing me. How can he be bad in so many universes and be good in this one? but im glad he is good in this one. is that batman? he really killed angstrom. i hope he can put this behind him. kate is alive! I hope mark and eve can be together. allen and nolan. Nolan is a nice guy I wish he wasn't a viltrumite. He was just raised wrong and if he had been raised by good people like Martha and Jonathan Kent he could have become like Superman. I think we can already see that he cares he cares about others genuinely. and thats because debbie and mark really changed him and i hope we can see that more in season 3.

I started the series by seeing a speech by Debbie. I wanted to watch it before, but his speech was really beautiful and tragic. and I immediately started watching the series yesterday. Before i started, I thought it was Nolan who broke his arm and that made everything worse, but at least Nolan is not that person anymore (He never hurt Debbie physically, but he did hurt some people, including her son). I thought Nolan was such a bad guy. he grew up in viltrum but the world changed, him debbie changed him. He loved Debbie, he loved Mark and Oliver. And I hope Nolan can do better things in the future.

this story was amazing. and animation is the perfect way to tell it. i really cant wait for season 3.

this story was tragic. i cried a lot. this Show might be my favorite superhero Project. i love marvel and dc. i saw a lot of superhero shows and movies but this was incredible. i dont know what to say but im glad i watced this Show. im glad i knew mark. and debbie. and nolan. they are amazing. i hope they'll get a happy ending.

i hope season 3 will come soon.

[astro-naut9]

I know nothing about your OCs, so consider this a request for any infodumps about any characters you feel like talking about.

Educate me about your lil' guys.

OH BROOOTHHERRRR OK SO !!! PREPARE TO READ VERY CONFUSING STUFF !! and trigger warnings for mentions of self-sabotaging and anything related to it.

this is Francis Wry !!

They're 16 and they use he/she/they pronouns! Their identity is loosely based off of me but so are my other characters tbh. ANYWAY!! He's a very chaotic person but also very caring towards his friends (alex)! They love destruction and they also love peace, which makes his morals questionable. Francis will do anything for his wants, as long as it doesn't affect his friends at all. He will go through lengths for it (will include self sacrifices and world destruction). BUT!! overall, he's not too complicated to understand. jsut that friends > others

ANYWAY !! story time

Francis, was legally named Vanessa, was born in a poor family of three (including him). She spent her time ltierally working for her family. anyway, no, she did not live with peace when she was with her family. BUT, she did find a friend, Neil, when they were both 7 years old and then they grew up together cuz their family is friends with each other and they have the same hobbies. (unfortunately i dont have pics of them tgt) however, this did not cure francis' depression (she didnt know she had it), so yeah !! anyway, long story short she unalived herself by jumping off a building BUT GUESS WHAT !!!! SHE DIED, BUT SHE GOT REVIVED !! TO ANOTHER WOOOORRLLLDDD !!!

with that process, lets go to the revival thingy first.

in order for people to be revived, alien scientists grab their wandering souls in their planet and bring them outside the universe (to the multiverse) where a rogue sun and planet travel. The souls are then magically revived by a god who the alien scientists had held hostage (the god does not mind the reviving too much, however, he wishes for them to treat him kinder). ANYWAY, the aliens then take dna from the deceased bodies and put it in a cloning machine.

no, the scientists does not care who they revive. it is for the sake of experiment.

so, that implies Francis was taken as an experiment :3

niszen is the scientist in charge of him. they have some sort of sibling bond as the scientists are tasked to act very kind to the subjects as a manipulation tactic, so their relationship is either genuine or just a hoax. Anyway, you could tell what francis went thru with the experiments as it had always been painful and exhausting. then one day he couldnt take it anymore and js went batshit crazy. with the mix of other dnas mixed in his blood, his strength and abilities were a bit crazy. with that, francis escaped from his cell and went to the fuel room. he grabbed jugs of gasoline and poured it eevrywhere he went. the aliens had a room filled with stuffs that are alien to them which was where he found the match box. this then led to him burning down the laboratory, causing it to explode yada yada. (there are details i didnt include because it will take this very long)

then he proceeded to live in the wild. since the planet, Astrylis, was made for the preference of different species, the woods was js like the woods from the Earth. anyway, he lived there for like 2 weeks until a grandma saw him and then helped him with ways and stuff. then he was exposed to the outside world after 4 months of in denial.

then he met uhh Alex!!

alex was 14 when they were 13 !! then they uh became best friends for 4 years (present time, which is 6036). anyway, i actually have no more to add unless im asked about specific things auuughgh but

anyways here are some of the uhh arts w them :33

i have more ocs but,, idrk,, i cant seem to describe some stuff without the questions beign specific for some reason??? but hey i hope i did give u a little about my guy here !!

[panicvertigo]

I finished it!! Tbh I didn't like it this much. In some aspects it was a bit too much and in others not enough? Idc if you know what I mean with that 😅 I'm not even sure I know exactly what I mean with "not enough". BUT I was just soooo happy every time Neil was mentioned 💕 what a guy! And it did have quite a lot of funny moments 😁

I think I know what you mean. I had to like take a break sometimes bc it just got too dark

I loooved all the scenes with Neil, it was so neat to see him from an outside perspective, especially at that point of his story

I also loved everything we learned about Kevin. Like he had a car? How he got out of the nest, the little magnets and everything, idk it just like game him more personality

I also love jeremy, I cant wait to find out whats going on with him, and jeans list, too, made me smile each time

[nobody-knose--archive]

going on old 2011 hits forums right now and feeling like. well. this won’t be the first time ive cried in class

[desire-mona]

dps boys (and keating's) favourite songs (aka me projecting because i love music) (also modern au because you cannot limit me to music before 1960 you just cant)

i made a playlist of all these songs in case you wanna give em a listen, you can find it here. if you totally disagree with me or wanna add more then absolutely let me know!

neil: talia - ride the cyclone (the musical)

yes i KNOW it's obvious to choose a song from a musical BUT. ride the cyclone is special, i think he'd really like the lack of an ensemble and enjoy the dark premise despite the comedic nature of a vast majority of the show. also i totally think his favourite performance would be by gus halper bc of the use of the projector. mischa or noel is definitely a dream role of his.

todd: vincent - james blake ('s cover, og by don mclean)

don mcleans lyricism is like catnip to poets and it has gone unacknowledged for far too long. a lyrically gorgeous, vaguely queer sounding song about a tortured artist, covered by someone with an ANGELIC voice. can you name anything more todd? not to mention the piano is so far beyond moving, nothing short of a masterpiece.

charlie: dear prudence - siouxsie and the banshees (again - a cover, og by the beatles)

firm believer that charlie was an avid beatles hater for a WHILE until eleanor rigby grew on him, much to his dismay. is now a casual beatles enjoyer, only due to the fact that their vocals annoy him. so a cover by siouxsie sioux (whom he most definitely has a crush on) is basically a blessing in disguise. loves the instrumentals, loves the vocals, loves all of it. insists that its better than the original and will ultimately die (correct) on that hill.

meeks: love on the line (call now) - her's

as much as i love and adore meeks, i have been loyal to my headcanon that he is an annoying music snob since day one. of course, this culminates in his favourite song being by THE indie pop/rock band that pretentious people love to bring up the death of. he is no exception, any time the band is mentioned he will without fail go "did you know that they died in a car crash?" either way, id be lying if i said this was a bad pick. the upbeat vibe mixed with the actual meaning of the song being about a guy wasting all his money on a sex hotline? it makes the whole song so fun, and thats right up his alley! super danceable too, which plays a huge part.

pitts: bad fruit - jean dawson

will mona ever shut up about jean dawson? signs point to no. anywho, if you've followed along with my pittsie musings then you KNOW that i consider pitts to be the most well versed music guy to ever step on welton academy campus. realistically, im sure his favourite song changes on a day to day basis, but he always comes back to this. jean dawson makes art that ive seen few do similarly, everything he brings to the table i find so incredibly unique and well crafted. definitely pitts' biggest music crush.

cameron: '39 - queen

absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, an extremely guilty pleasure. i take his parents as the type to ban queen in their household (for reasons that im sure youre able to pick up on) but i ALSO take cameron as a sucker for classic rock, match made in hell. of course, since brian may does the vocals on this song instead of freddie, he can listen on the dl and be fine. also, the concept of time travel in music is SO!!! INTERESTING!! would absolutely go on a 10 minute long tangent about the story and meaning of the song, which only mittsie would actually listen to.

knox: lavender buds - MF DOOM

fine, FINE. i'll give knox a proper headcanon, but i wont be happy about it. i think i would listen to MF DOOM a lot more if i was a former bully, but thats not actually based off anything so dont take that as an insult, avid listeners. honestly i dont really have an in depth explanation for this one, just look at the lyrics and youll understand.

(this repeats 3 times)

i also take him to be a big r&b/ blues enjoyer, also based off nothing at all, so the sample probably appeals to some sense of nostalgia.

keating: clair de lune - claude debussy

yes, even modern keating's fav song would be classical, you can rip that from my cold, dead hands. this song was based off the poem by the same title by paul verlaine, which i'll include because it is just so damn beautiful.

Your soul is a select landscape

Where charming masqueraders and bergamaskers go

Playing the lute and dancing and almost

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

All sing in a minor key

Of victorious love and the opportune life,

They do not seem to believe in their happiness

And their song mingles with the moonlight,

With the still moonlight, sad and beautiful,

That sets the birds dreaming in the trees

And the fountains sobbing in ecstasy,

The tall slender fountains among marble statues.

Paul Verlaine, 1869 (originally written in french, so this is a rough english translation)

now the song itself does SUCH a good job at capturing the beauty and moving parts of this poem, and it fits perfectly with a plethora of different emotions. i know without a shadow of a doubt that its his kryptonite. is that me projecting because i love this song and i love keating? absolutely, but i still think its true either way.

[inahallucination]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

soulmate au where you have a strip of color somewhere that indicates what ur soulmates feeling

basically

red: anger

blue: sad

yellow: happiness

pink: love

green: jealousy 

purple: worry

grey: emptiness

etc etc and the hues and shades of that color can also mean something

like a deep red would be anger but a brighter one might be embarrassment

or a pale pink might be puppy love but a deep reddish pink would be deep deep love idk words arent wording today

but you get the point

neil’s soulmate is usually blue and it makes neil want to curl up and cry but he doesn’t do that and instead hopes that maybe one day he’ll meet them and help them change the color on his arm -- thats not to say he doesn’t have other colors too - he hasn’t gotten yellow for a few years now but sometimes itll show up, a little dull, but still happy

the scariest feeling for neil had been when the color had turned grey and he had spent the entire time worrying about his soulmate and when it had gotten a little yellowish tint he’d wondered if seeing the no doubt purple mark had reminded his soulmate that there was someone out there that would love them no matter what

/

todd’s color has always changed - his soulmate feels a lot and todd loves them for it. its always been vibrant mixes of colours that left todd dizzy

until they got older

todd still sees a lot of colors but red thrums harshly on his arm every now and then - a color he hadnt seen throughout his childhood

its better than the bluish-grey

but todd holds onto the pinks and the yellows desperately

/

meeting todd causes neil to feel alive for a lack of better word

its weird he doesn’t really know todd all that well yet he feels like he does

at first neil had thought it was a crush - todd’s all pretty eyes, pink cheeks and red lips after all

but its much more than that

something about the shy boy brings out the truest version of neil - neil hasn’t really looked at himself and felt himself in a long time but with todd - with todd its like he has no choice but to be himself

and ever since he’s gotten closer to todd, his soulmate color has gotten yellower with occasional hints of pink

neil thinks its too good to be true but he hopes anyway

/

no? 

...no. 

thats what causes todd to finally do it

hes always been an overthinker and over worrier

always a little to scared to lose what little he has

and he’s been terrified that neil might not be the one for him - even more terrified at knowing that if neil isnt’ todd will still choose him and that makes him feel so guilty for his soulmate but he cant stop himself anyway

the thought that neil is his soulmate is also terrifying because shouldn’t someone as amazing as neil get someone better?

but god does todd want neil to be his

theyre sitting next to each other giggling a little still and todd cant help but wonder if the yellow on his wrist is because of how they were chasing each other around

“todd?” neil asks when he notices todd’s face still in thought

todd takes a deep breath in, out and reaches for neil’s hand

he brings his hand forward taking a moment to notice how nicely it fits into his own, and positions it above his wrist

he chances a look at neil - he’s staring at him with wide eyes and a pink flush and at todds unspoken question he nods

the shock of warmth and pleasure that shoots through todd’s body at the smallest brush of neil’s fingers against his soulmate mark is proof 

todd doesn’t even register it fully before neil’s pulling him into a kiss and saying something about being so happy and just knowing it had to be todd

todds mark is a pretty pink and so is neil’s

//

after the play, the mark on todd’s wrist is a dull grey though occasionally itll wander into blue

but its dull and lifeless and nothing like neil and todd has to bite back every sob to put on a brave smile to be there for neil

but he cant stop himself from feeling what he does nor can he stop it from reflecting on neil’s arm

its so fucking unfair and todd cant stop the rush of anger at that bastard mr fucking perry

//

it isn’t until their far away from welton and vermont and neil is surrounded by todd and the poets that an entire week goes by with no blue nor gray and todd holds neil and cries so fucking relieved that his neil is finally healing

[mourntheantagonist]

My thing is what do you think the first real fight between Steve and Billy is? Like with Billy's past obviously he wouldn't EVER do anything to hurt Steve. Again

But how would it go?? Like im trying to rattle my Harringrove brain and see if their first fight would end like. Billy does the same thing Max does obviously and tries to push Steve away so much omg.

Like they're fighting and Steve says "You cant be angry all the time, you're so angry. The world did nothing for you ever but you are trying to be better... I see it every day" he takes a deep death and looks at Billy

Billy stares at the ground, eyes stinging from the tears. Billy isnt going to cry in front of Steve, he hasn't yet.

"Be strong, don't be a Pussy. Only pussies cry" the words Neil used to repeat during baseball practice. Or when Billy got hurt echoed in this brain. He never saw his dad cry, even the day his mom left. Men don't cry Billy isn't going to cry.

Billy takes a long breath before looking at Steve, meets his eyes and his mouth opens before his brain can register what he's saying "well then we should just break up"

Steve stares suddenly bursting with hurt, after everything Billy just wants to throw it away? He forgave Billy for nearly killing him. "You dont mean that."

Obviously I am not the greatest BUT I feel like this is kinda how it would go??

oh my gosh I love that so much because you’re so right billy is absolutely the guy to push steve away, and really, anyone away if they show him any kind of affection because oh god what is that???

but okay okay okay

for their first fight I imagine it’s kind of like that, billy pushing everyone away because he doesn’t think he deserves anything good in his life because you know I’m just a sucker for this trope alright?

but what if it’s not all in billy’s head?

what if it’s steve’s friends, like dustin and nancy, always giving billy the side-eye when the two walk into a room together, and dustin airing out all of his disdain for billy publicly, in front of billy, to steve, telling him he could do so much better than billy.

and what if steve just laughs it off? what if he just doesn’t take it seriously, thinks dustin is just being jealous because now he can’t have steve’s undivided 24/7 attention, and what if he doesn’t notice that way billy’s face falls and he clams up and stops wanting to hang around the rest of their group.

because steve never stands up for him.

and billy just lets it all fester, boil up inside of him until he’s really starting to believe it. it’s one thing for him to think he’s not good enough, but it’s an entirely other thing for the people steve cares about to think it, and it’s a huge fucking thing when billy starts wondering if, because steve never says anything defending him, if he thinks it too.

that’s when billy starts pushing. because he’s not good enough for steve. they both know it. and billy can’t keep pretending it’s okay.

and it gets nasty. these boys have no. fucking. clue. how to communicate effectively with each other so it really does get to the point that billy is about ready to get a box and fill it with every little thing that belongs to him around steve’s house because he just needs to go. he’s not good enough for steve and he doesn’t want to be the poison infecting his life anymore.

steve thinks billy is trying to sabotage the relationship (which he is, but steve isn’t bothering to figure out why) and billy wants steve to fight for him to stay but steve’s too angry to do that and it’s all the miscommunication and now they’re fighting over the tiniest little things and it’s bad bad bad.

and billy literally packing up his things is finally that tipping point for steve to finally ask billy not to go and finally ask *why* he is doing all of this.

and that’s when billy finally says it. “I’m not good enough for you.”

and that just makes steve even more mad because billy doesn’t get to decide that. steve tells him that and billy just laughs.

“if you really believed that, then why don’t you ever say it?” and billy is holding back tears, because it hurts every time he thinks about steve sitting around while his friends are saying steve “settled” and just laughing it off.

now steve is angry and confused, and billy won’t look at him no matter how many times he tries to get him to and he’s wracking his brain trying to figure out what on earth billy is talking about because why would billy think he thought that way?

billy tightens his grip on the box full of his things. “I hope your friends are happy.”

and that’s when it clicks. and it’s too late for steve to do anything because he’s frozen in place because the weight of the realization is almost too heavy to bear. so he just has to watch billy walk out his front door.

that night, steve doesn’t run to billy’s house begging for forgiveness. instead he runs to dustin’s and nancy’s and robin’s and whoever else he can vaguely remember saying anything at all negative about him dating billy. he rips each and everyone of them a new asshole and the whole time he’s feeling so fucking guilty because even if he never said what they said, he never disagreed, not out loud, not for billy to hear it.

so made a point, to go to everyone’s house and tell them they had to go talk to billy in person and tell them that they were wrong, that he is not only good enough, but he is *good* for steve. and they do, reluctantly, some of them steve had to drag there kicking and screaming. but they do. and once they all have done that. it’s steve’s turn to apologize.

he doesn’t do it standing at billy’s front door like everyone else had. he takes him to the quarry, somewhere private, somewhere that is theirs.

he sits there in the car and apologizes over and over again, and tells billy over and over again that he is so much more than good enough for him and he’s so sorry he never stuck up for him.

and if it weren’t for all the children banging down his door all day saying all the exact same things, maybe it would have been a little harder to accept, but Steve is sitting there begging him, clearly exhausted, clearly having not have slept since their fight, and god his big brown eyes just do something to him.

and they’re good. steve just had to remember to remind billy, every single day, just how good he is.

[beybeys-world]

UPDATES FOR THOSE WHO READ MY CONTENT!

HULLO!! So i already posted more stuff about requests but here is another confirmation post. Im lacking motivation to finish requests at the moment. I JUST GET BRAIN FOGGLED!! I hate to disappoint and keep those who requested waiting but, I would like to write when im held with more motivation so that the writes come out better and more enjoyable! Dont get me wrong I am still writing (im always writing) but I might publish some ideas of my own! So if your waiting on a request, its gonna take a bit, especially since there are multiple!  When I have bursts of energy I write for my requests! But I will try my best to do ATLEAST 2 writes per week. But i cant thank you all enough for the love and support for my reads! Seeing all your comments really warms my heart! Another update, I ADDED JONATHON BYERS TO MY LIST!!! I HOPE TO WRITE FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE! Im hoping you guys can be patient with me! But until they are published here are some sneak peaks on what im workin on (PLEASE COMMENT WHICH ONE I SHOULD FINISH FIRST)

10 Things I hate About You

Pairing: Steve x Reader

(requested) 

A heavily inspired fic by the amazing movie 10 Things I hate About You

The bruised boy

Pairing: Billy x POC reader (she/her)

(Requested)

Y/N plays hard to get with Billy, which only ignites a flame within Billy to keep annoying you. Which you shoot him down everytime. One day it changes after a tough night with Neil, y/n notices and wants to help.

My Prize Baby

Pairing: Billy X Sarcastic Reader

(Request: Happy Billy with him takin care of Max)

After asking for a ride to the arcade Max is surprised that you convince Billy to not only drive her, but come along too! Max gains a liking to you once you “help” her win the arcade games for prizes! Billy enjoys seeing the both of you connect

Those Godamn Russians

Pairing: Steve x Girlfriend Reader

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Y/N being the getaway driver for when they are all undeground trying to run away from the russians, she is shocked to see Dustin with a VERY intoxicated Steve. Sadly your bumped to sit in the back with him (after constant pleading) And hes just all over you.

Blabber Boy

Pairing: soft Eddie x GF reader.

(MADE THIS IDEA MYSELF)

Almost breaking a bone trying to get to your window, Eddie sneaks into your room one night while your painting your nails. When offered Eddie mindlessly agrees but does NOT know how to stay still when the polish is drying. Making too many hand motions while ranting about dnd or whatever, you decide to hold him down, which ignites a VERY VERY flustered quiet Eddie.

Why so blue Billy?

Pairing: Billy x Partner Reader

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

Y/N just overall comforting Billy when he breaks down about Neil. 

Sharp Turn

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer crush

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

After seeing y/n at a stoplight with her flashy street car, Billy is determined to get to know you. The boy is just headover heels for the racer and she is not goin down all that easy.

Joy Ride

Pairing: Billy x Streetracer gf

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

(a alternate where the reader isnt playing so hard to get) Y/N is neighbors with Billy and wants him to cheer up so she takes him for a ride driving god knows how fast in the middle of the night blasting music.

Music Magnet

Pairing: Steve x crush who works at a music store.

(MADE THIS MYSELF)

While robin is pickin up some new casette tapes, Steve realizes how long shes taking. He walks in to be swept off his feet by the amazing y/n working register. Steve does not know much abt the music you listen to but he tries his best (even if he is lying) to impress you with his “wicked” music taste.

Drumstick Doll

Pairing: Steve x firecracker drummer gf

(MADE THIS MYYSELF)

Steve comes to all of your shows and supports all your angry drummer antics! He adores the reader.

Lets Dance Pretty Boy

Pairing: Billy x Girlfriend

(requested)

Reader taking aux to bump music at full volume while driving around with Billy. (I havent decided a song yet so request any ideas you have in my request box and  i’ll pick my favorite.)

The infamous hearthrob, eddie

Pairing: Eddie x Popular Gf reader

(requested)

Y/N knows lots of people but Eddie was truly a gem. She never understood why he was so judged, afterall she thought very highly of him. Reader tries to hype up Eddie about how awesome he is.

PLEASE HELP ME PICK WHICH ONE I SHOULD PUBLISH NEXT!! COMMENT DOWN BELOW! MAKE SURE TO KEEP UP WITH MY MASTERLIST TO SEE THIS FICS BE POSTED! AND IF ANY AMAZING REQUESTS HAVE SPARKED WHILE READING THIS, HERE IS MY REQUEST BOX AND PLEASE READ MY REQUEST GUIDELINES BEFORE REQUESTING! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY OR NIGHT!!<33

-Ahzy

[thinger-strang]

okay okay centerfold au (like....the song by the j geils band) where billy mas moved out and away from hawkins (he hasnt quite made it to california yet, hes not ready) and hes starting to let himself be gay and think gay thoughts and ya know indulge himself every so often

which obviously means he picks up a magazine from the back corner of the corner store he frequents

he does for something a little tamer, maybe throws in a few playboys just because hes nervous (which doesnt even matter because the cashier doesnt even spare the covers a glance once scanned)

gets home and eagerly flips through it, feeling excited that he can have gay porn out in the open in his living room without fearing for his life

hes mostly just idly looking through it, folding down a few corners of pages he'll revisit when hes in the mood, just kinda reveling in the freedom of it

until

he flips to the centerfold, the showcase, the main event and it's–

"steve?"

billy fucking drops the entire magazine, it lays open, teasing billy with those big brown eyes and tantalizing moles

its a good shot honestly, pretty tasteful, definitely not modest, but billy can appreciate the artful quality

of course not in this moment, in this moment billy is panicking?

who the hell told steve harrington he was allowed to do that?

billy finds himself staring at the photo; steve as the centerpiece, draped across several laps, being groped by way too many hands for billy's liking, steve's got a half hard cock in one hand, the other possessively wrapped around the thigh of a man standing next to him, everyone's sweaty and there's splatters of something all over everyone, and there's hard and soft dicks and muscular legs and soft bellies and flexing muscles but only one face

steve stares at the camera–at billy–with an enticing stare that seems to ask "what are you waiting for?" and the barest hint of a tongue pokes out–

billy cant look away but wants to tear his gaze away to anything else, he wants to memorize the page, he wants to burn it, he wants to frame it, he wishes it never existed, he wants to be in that room

billy thought he was over this silly crush on straight boy steve but heres he is, gripping another man's cock, letting another man's cock rest on his leg, letting other men hold him and touch him

it might be fine if billy hadn't seen steve in years, hadn't seen steve since he left that fucking hellhole behind but no, no!

steve harrington, the man who happened to be the centerfold of the one single gay magazine billy happened to pick up, was his upstairs neighbor

///

billy stares at the ground as he stops to get his mail, hoping, praying, that he'll be lucky and not run into anyone on his way home

prayers not answered

"hey billy, i haven't seen you in a while, you doin' okay?" steve asks cheerfully as he wiggles his own mailbox open.

"yup, doing just fine, thanks for asking" billy slams his box shut and hurries to the elevator without running and jabs the close door button a hundred million times

"woah hang on, hold the door!" steve calls after him, juggling his mail and his groceries that billy somehow didn't notice

steve makes it

fuck

steve's blabbering on about.... something, billy can't hear a word he's saying, he focusing on thinking about anything other than–

sweaty

magazine

dick

nude

moles

dick

dick

dick

billy is begging for any thought, anything, to cross his mind, anything but that stupid centerfold

"hey are you sure you're okay?" steve asks in a far too nice voice

"i told you i'm fine, please just leave me alone?" billy grits out

"i thought we were past all that" steve says in a sad voice

billy sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose

"we are, i'm just having an off day, got this killer headache ya know?" he lies through his teeth

"oh okay, gotcha, i'll be quiet" steve mimes zipping up his mouth

why is that worse why is that hot?

it's billy's floor and he can't get into his apartment fast enough

pulls out his dick and jerks it a few times before cumming right there in his kitchen floor

///

things don't get better

at all

billy avoids steve like the plague, which it wasn't like hung out on the regular, but theyd chit chat in the elevator or say hi when passing each other

so it was just awkward when billy would see steve in the hallway and immediately turn the other way

so it's not that surprising to wake up on a saturday morning to angry pounding on his door

"i'm coming, i'm coming, hold your fucking horses" billy grumbles as he pulls on a shirt and walks to the door

yanks it open to find a grumpy steve with his hands on his hips

"what gives hargrove? you said we were fine yet avoid me any time we so much as make eye contact? did i do something?"

billy has not had enough sleep to handle this conversation

"no you didn't do anything, it's kinda hard to explain just–" billy opens up his door to invite steve in

steve shoulders past billy and plops onto the couch

"coffee?" billy asks as he rubs his eyes

"im good" steve bites out

great

billy rolls his eyes and gets busy making himself a pot, trying to figure out how to say this, what to even say that would make this remotely okay

"oh my god" steve gasps

"what?" billy groans

he turns around and sees steve holding the magazine, clutching it really, something close to horror drawn all over his face

billy left it out on the coffee table as some sort of sick twisted 'fuck you' to neil

"shit shit SHIT i can explain–"

"no no i get it, um... i think i'm going to go, just... yeah i'm sorry i'll just–"

and with that steve was gone

///

this is worse, so so so very much worse

they either need to talk about it or billy needs to fucking find a new apartment

billy comes home after a long day at work to find steve knocking at his door

"hey–"

"jesus christ you scared me!" steve jumps into the wall

"sorry i kinda... snuck up on you, what are you doing at my door?" billy adjusts his backpack

"i, um... i wanted to explain? or talk? i get why you were avoiding me, i honestly forgot that came out this month" steve is twelve shades of the prettiest blush billy has ever seen

"hang on, let's go inside, i don't really wanna talk about this in the hallway"

steve's shoulders relax and he pressed himself into the wall to let billy open his door

steve sits awkwardly on the couch as billy hang up his bag and jacket and starts taking off his boots

"i... don't really know where to start" steve chews on his bottom lip and fidgits with his fingers

"i'm gay" billy blurts out

"what?" steve laughs

"i mean, i have a gay porn magazine, you're all nervous, i figured i'd break the ice?" billy shrugs

steve laughs and looks ten times lighter

"those pictures are older, i did them to help pay some bills while i was inbetween jobs, it was for a smaller thing, a blog or something, i dunno, it payed good so i said yes, i was desperate"

steve tuns his hands through his hair and breathes

"the guy who took the pictures asked if i'd be okay with him selling them to a bigger magazine, he said i'd get half the profits so i said yes"

steve shrugs and looks out the window

"so you just... did it for the money?" billy asks

"yes and no, i'm gay–well not gay, i'm bi but i'm... into dudes and all that, but mostly just to pay the bills"

steve finally meets billy's gaze with an almost scared look but more of a 'what are you gunna do about it' look

a lot like the one in the magazine

"that's cool, pretty brave too" billy says casually and leans back into his chair

"yeah... i'm kinda scared my job is going to find out that my dick is all over a magazine" steve laughs nervously

"you'll be fine, if it helps, you'd make a killing as a porno model"

billy grins wickedly in steve's direction

steve tries to smile back but it turns into a grimace

"i don't think it's weird, by the way... and while i don't think my crush on you from high school has quite gone away, i'm not going to like, make a move ot try to do anything" billy nudges steve's toe with his own

"okay" steve smiles for real this time

"okay" billy smiles back

"you really had a crush on me in high school?" steve smirks

"oh god, yeah, it was so bad, i didn't know what to do so i was just... an ass!" billy laughs

steve laughs along too and it's just comfortable, more comfortable than they've been ever

"do you wanna go get dinner?" steve smiles lopsidedly

"what!"

"like a date, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"it won't be weird?" billy asks earnestly

"not unless you make it weird"

billy grins and stands

"then let's go on a date!" he hold out his hand an hauls steve up

///

they're walking in comfortable silence, bumping into each other's shoulders, trying to make the other drop their left over box

they get to billy's door and kean against it, very much in each other's space

"you wanna know a secret?" steve asks with a mischievous glint in his eye

"sure"

"i had a crush on you in high school too" steve smiles and rests his forehead against billy's

"oh yeah!" billy leans into steve's touch, their noses bumping

"hell yeah" steve closes the distance and presses a soft kiss into billy's lips

[livingasaghost]

okay so i always see a bunch of ridiculous aftg headcanons soooo i decided to put my hat in the ring and try it out

this is all about the foxes and their chaotic as hell groupchats

so let’s imagine for a second that this series doesn’t take place in the early 2000s so smart phones exist 

periodically the foxes have exchanged numbers with each other - obviously each of the cliques can contact each other, but then throughout that first year there are little things that cause people to give out their numbers

like at some point nicky lets it slip that he’s having trouble with his stats class and out of the blue allison offers to meet up with him because she’s surprisingly like really great at math? so the two of them start up a little text chain where they just shit talk everyone and start a few random bets

and then dan gets katelyn’s number from one of the other vixens and the two of them initially just start texting about game details...which turns into bonding over make-up and girl talk and eventually dan starts inviting katelyn to hang out with her and the fox girls

at first renee is the only one who has everyone’s number because she’s the only one who everyone likes 

but then after their big win, renee just puts everyone in one massive groupchat so no one gets left out and they can all bond and it’s just as chaotic as one would expect

at first everyone’s just trying to figure out who’s who, but not everyone has an iphone so all the iphone users are really pissed off at the green bubbles

aaron’s the only one with an android because of course he is

he refuses to switch to an iphone even when the rest of the team BEGS him to bc he “doesn’t see the point”

for the whole summer after neil’s first year, the team keeps trying to pressure him and andrew into upgrading their phones because the team is so sick of what it’s doing to the groupchat

neil doesn’t really know how it all works because he’s still getting used to having a phone and having friends to text, but then everyone starts sending him emojis that don’t show up properly and his phone won’t load any photos they send and the rest of the foxes are so FRUSTRATED bc neil doesn’t seem to notice

eventually, in a shocking turn of events, andrew gets so fed up with the chaos of everyone texting his flip phone that he’s the one who gives in

he shows up at the dorm one day and just hands neil a little baggie with his new iphone

they’re just starting to get it set up when nicky strolls in and IMMEDIATELY takes over, showing neil all about emojis and changing your phone background and saving all the fox contacts

neil is, unsurprisingly, very overwhelmed and slightly terrified, so andrew reaches over and does it all for him, and nicky just looks put out

it takes neil like six months to change any of his contacts or backgrounds or settings because he just doesn’t care

eventually he does manage to set his lockscreen to a really bad photo he took of andrew when he wasn’t paying attention

andrew notices it one day and chooses not to say anything

(he secretly loves it)

when the groupchats start heating up.......neil realizes it’s kind of fun to have a smart phone because it feels like the foxes are with him all the time

after neil and andrew get iphones, the rest of the team decide to make a separate groupchat for just apple users bc no one really texts aaron regularly anyway

at first it’s just a place where people drop details about practices

dan shares news from wymack and abby and then kevin starts giving orders about what the foxes can do better

and somehow that is the tipping point

because everyone hates when kevin starts talking exy

(except neil)

so everyone jumps on him and it’s the perfect icebreaker

nicky is the obnoxious one who sends a ridiculous amount of emojis and gifs and reaction images (neil never knows where he finds them all) - he also sends the most tiktoks. usually ones that are super inappropriate or just plain stupid.

allison texts a lot because she’s always attached to her phone ready for the tea and sometimes she’ll send a really raunchy meme just to spice things up

neil doesn’t really know what’s going on half the time - and he never really scrolls up to see what he’s missed - so if and when he does respond, it’s usually just to ask clarifying questions or give a thumbs up

matt is the one who always checks in to make sure everyone’s doing okay - he’ll send really encouraging texts that people like andrew shit on

one time matt sends everyone a really sweet text over the holidays about how much they mean to him....and then dan just kicks him out of the gc and goes “okay enough of that bullshit i hate u guys xoxo” and andrew gives it a thumbs up

sometimes when he’s bored andrew will just kick out everyone but renee and neil bc why not

kevin is the one who gets kicked out the most 

sometimes it’s because he texts about exy, but eventually it just becomes a running joke that they’ll kick him out randomly

like they’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then allison will just boot him out of the gc just to see what he’ll do

usually when this happens kevin will just send an angry message in one of the other gcs telling neil to add him back

it’s usually neil or renee who adds someone back bc they feel bad that people get left out of the gc

renee has this weird obsession with tiktok and she sends them CONSTANTLY like usually they remind her of certain teammates

she’ll send these at all hours of the night bc she has trouble sleeping and that means more time to scroll through the app from hell

and even though it gets on everyone’s nerves, no one can hate renee so they all just kind of....watch the videos and then everyone’s obsessed with tiktok

dan will send memes and things but only when they’re like so ridiculously funny that they get the whole gc wheezing at midnight on a school night

and usually they’re SO ridiculous that they only make sense to dan

“Dan you do realize we have practice tomorrow?”

“matt shut up this girl is talking like MARGE SIMPSON I CANT BREATHE”

most of the foxes text without proper capitalization or punctuation but  matt and kevin and neil (and aaron) are all very proper with their texting

dan makes fun of matt all the time bc he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to Use Proper English but matt doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just use capitals when it’s automatic (he doesn’t know how to turn it off)

neil uses proper grammar just bc it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else

andrew uses lowercase bc it reads like a monotone to him and he thinks it’s ~cool~ and he also likes making kevin mad

sometimes he’ll use the wrong punctuation and grammar on purpose just to get kevin to reply to his texts

eventually nicky realizes he can change the group name and the group photo so he starts the most chaotic conversation by dramatically changing it to a snapchat screenshot of neil asleep on andrew’s lap and calling the gc SEXY EXY BESTIES 👅💦

it stays like that for all of two minutes before kevin notices and quickly changes the name to The Foxes

and then it becomes a free for all as everyone tries to be smart and snarky and ridiculous

stans of kevin’s left hand

the foxwhore court

🧡 Neil Josten Fanclub 🧡

life’s like a game of exy🥍

periodically throughout the week someone will change the name as they see fit - normally it’s something stupid but sometimes they’ll start an actual conversation by changing the group name

The Ungrateful Foxes

fuck you kevin

Guys plz be nice to Kevin

YOU KNOW, I GET IT—

The Worst Team in the NCAA

fuck you kevin

GO TO SLEEP NEIL!!!

one time after they’d spent like two weeks being called wymack’s whores, andrew decided he’d had enough of that so he just renamed it 🖕🏻🦊

and they do have a separate gc with wymack (they just don’t need to bother him with all their shitty commentary)

but funny enough, they’re almost worse in the wymack gc

at first wymack tried to control everyone by kicking people out who misbehaved, but then it just kept happening until it was him, kevin and renee left and he had to let it go

now all the foxes will text him at the most random times with the most random of questions

they also have a running joke where they all call him dad

kevin hates it, but wymack secretly thinks it’s hilarious and sweet

“hey dad can we get pizza after practice tomorrow???”

“dad nicky’s being a bitch can you make him run extra laps”

“WAIT DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WYMACK IS KEVIN’S ACTUAL DAD??? *blinking man gif*”

kevin starts leaving the gc instead of waiting to be kicked out