#nerfed myself huh. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celestialholz · 1 year

Text

Treasures, Ruined (or 'Are the Elite Four the Treasures of Ruin?')

My fellow thought-experimentee @serene-hatterene mentioned a little while ago that the Treasures of Ruin bear a passing resemblance to our Paldean Elite Four, and I agree... though I don't think it means a heel turn is coming. None of them are evil - there's been literally zero foreshadowing of any form, and I personally refuse to believe that there is a single shred of evil in Hassel specifically. This man is sunshine incarnate - he even goddamn looks like the sun, and is painted as such in Surrendering Sunflora.

No, no evil here. But I'll tell you what I do think.

The Treasures of Ruin are the Elite Four if they were to go down a very different and much darker path, hence the Dark typing.

That's a fun statement, isn't it? Allow me to explain...

We will start in dex order, with Wo-Chien, our Hassel counterpart.

This is most of Wo-Chien's lore.

Now, there are multiple things of note here:

Tablets were classically used pre-paper manufacturing to write or draw things upon - like a musician might wish to do, or an artist;

Hassel comes from a noble family, who don't agree with his life choices - whilst he doesn't seem to bear grudges in his present state of mind, it isn't a stretch at all to imagine that he could were his mind dark enough;

Plants. Wo-Chien drains plant life, and holds control over it.

... Now, imagine if you will a moment, a darker timeline: a timeline where, embittered by his family's treatment and his own musical failure, Hassel finds Brassius, and instead of healing and supporting and encouraging him as he does in our canon, leading them to a beautiful and loving companionship, he instead does the opposite: takes out his spite and his anger, leads Brassius instead to ruin and to the death he saved him from in another life.

... No, you're crying. (/j, I am also weeping, god I hate noticing things sometimes. IT'S OKAY GUYS THEY'RE HAPPY AND LOVED AND ALIVE IN OUR WORLD *ugly sobbing*)

This idea is backed up further by the fact that Wo-Chien's shrine must be opened via purple stakes - Poison, seeping into the Grass.

Oh, and as Bulbapedia points out:

... Huh. Imagine that, the emotional guy darkened due to his own feelings - or, indeed, that of our favourite Grass gym leader...

And then there's the fact that Hass' lead Pokemon Noivern nearly always starts battle by halving your HP with Super Fang... which has exactly the same effect as Ruination, the Treasures' signature move.

Anyway, let's move on, before I sob myself to sleep...

We arrive next at Chien-Pao, or our Larry counterpart.

Lore incoming...

Whilst Wo-Chien is represented by grudges, Chien-Pao is represented by hatred - and we know Larry a. hates his boss, b. hates his three jobs, and c. probably hates his life, as tired and done as he seems to be.

And so, imagine a world where that hatred, rather than be channeled into exhaustion and exasperation, becomes instead active - becomes instead a very powerful man who can apparently master types on a whim tearing down all before him, telling the world that's kept him down to bow before him. He becomes the boss; he becomes the hatred of those 'slain' by the corporate structure, and he simply sits there and watches the chaos.

Now, lovely little tired sweetheart Larry would rather eat onigiri, tell you you're very good at battling and go to sleep... but then, Hass would never drain Brassius either. It's all in the possibility, the alternate universe.

Interesting supplementary points here include:

Staraptor has the same base attack as Chien-Pao... who, like the rest of the Treasures, was patch-nerfed. It did have 130 atk, ten points higher than Staraptor;

It's represented by orange stakes, the colour of the Fighting type - Larry's one major weakness on his gym team, which later he adopts Flying types for and becomes strong against;

This man is a facade. He gives you the TM for it, he lives the gimmick... and when one tears down a facade, the person beneath is revealed. Not that I'm saying the person beneath wants to watch the world burn, but... not too tricky to imagine someone snapping under Larry's level of pressure, is it?

What's mightier than the sword, so the saying goes? The pen. You know, those things people use a lot in an office...

God, let's see if Rika can cheer us up a bit, although I doubt it given the topic... we move, then, to Ting-Lu.

The lore has this to say on the subject of Ting-Lu:

Ting-Lu represents fear: and if any of you have also sat there like me in fear for your champion prospects (and possibly life) as Rika stares you down during the interview process, I think we know why.

Fear... and control over the earth. The translation is a little more literal here, given that they share their specialist types.

Our Rika is fun and laid-back, but in another world, well... imagine a woman motivated by the fear of those before her, intimidating all who stand before her in both words and in battle, swallowing her enemies with the power of the earth. As a fun counterpoint, the Rika we know and love even says that you shouldn't find her worrying when you meet her during your gym challenge:

Couple of additional things:

Ting-Lu's stakes are green - Grass, life, swallowed whole by the ground;

Rika's rocking the classically evil red eyes;

Most of her Pokemon have the capacity to learn Fissure, which is referenced in Ting-Lu's bio.

We know comparatively little about Rika compared to Hassel or Larry, but the type-share kinda says it all here.

And finally, we reach everyone's favourite overachieving tiny sister, Poppy.

Here's some lore for y'all:

Now again, in comparison to Hassel and Larry, we know next to nothing about Poppy, but envy specifically is interesting. The kid is very clearly far too powerful for her age, and it's therefore quite simple to imagine envy-based corruption occurring - of her dominating her peers, of her envy that everyone else seems to fit in where she doesn't. Thankfully in the Elite Four she's amongst friends, but... the composition of this team, jesus. Take a look:

Kid is made of nuclear weapons, my god. The young mind is impressionable, easy to lead astray... except she's all fine and adorable, because she has structure, and an outlet for her power. Without that... well, Chi-Yu's on fire, so... I think this about sums it up.

Little bit more on the intrigue:

Mmm. Lighter. Well yeah, she would be...

There's a saying in gemology, or the sculpting of gems, about jade - what Chi-Yu's bead eyes are made of. And it goes like this:

... Like a bell? Like that one she has on her team?

Chi-Yu is represented by blue stakes, or the Water type; the tears of a lost little girl, her fieriness extinguished.

So, now we've analysed the similarities of the characters, let's take a look at the story of the Treasures.

'The king's greed', huh...

... Huh. Geeta, who owns a Kingambit, who is the Top Champion. Now, aside from Larry, who seems to just straight-up dislike her, we don't know how the other three feel about their 'king' here - but we do know from the gym leader rematches that multiple of those guys aren't fans of her hardline stance. She and Tulip style-clash, Katy resents her for having her go easy on challengers, and Grusha seems afraid of her power to oust him. She seems to be a divisive woman, and... well, it's irrelevant, because we're here to imagine an alternate universe, friends. In another life, Geeta greedily overworks her people, taking the desire she has to host the greatest League and turning it dark; in another life, grudges, hates, fears and envies lead to a world of destruction and rebellion instead of a united found family. What is a king there is a queen here, and what would our queen be able to do, if she was attacked by all four of her treasures at once? Very little.

Four treasures, one king, two worlds. We even have the people to 'seal them away' - us, Nemona, Penny, Arven, and all the rematch gym leaders, who at that point outlevel the Elite Four. After all, if the shoe fits... two of us have already have taken down all four of them.

Let's all be glad we live in the good timeline, folks, where our Elite Four are loved and wholesome.

... It's fascinating isn't it, that we've pulled up these stakes up, crumbled them to dust... released the Poison, the Fighting, the Grass, the Water... that we've all seeped toxicity into the earth, lost the fight, had the life sucked away, and doused youthful enthusiasm.

... Nah, can't mean anything. Can't mean anything that we're the wielders who have already defeated them. Can't mean anything that Geeta's name in Japanese is 'omodaka', which directly translates to 'heightened surface', like the high places you nearly always find these stakes on.

... Nah, guys. Just a coincidence. They're all perfectly lovely... in our world. Still, quite the AU, right? ;)

#paldea elite four #elite four larry #elite four hassel #elite four poppy #elite four rika #oh and look at that!#ephemeralartshipping!#in my completely NOT ephemeralartshipping meta!#I'm astonished guys don't know about you #treasures of ruin #pokemon scarlet and violet #meta #top champion geeta

117 notes · View notes

bogkeep · 1 year

Text

untangling my neurodivergence is such a trip like

- first time they tested me for autism i got a negative which is so funny in hindsight considering how Very Obviously Neurodivergent i was as a kid, so i had to return like OK I KNOW YOU SAID I DIDN'T AUTISM BUT CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY I AM IN CONSTANT SENSORY HELL LIKE I'VE BEEN TOLD BY RELIABLE SOURCES WEARING CLOTHES IS NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS AWFUL ALL THE TIME and on second try i got an "hmmm ok you TECHNICALLY qualify but it's SO mild you are VERY high functioning like it's very vague. barely there. but you can have the diagnosis juuust in case you want accomodations someday" <- definitely didn't carry this assessment with me for years, no sirree, definitely didn't let other people's perception of "i'm not THAT autistic" color the way i viewed and treated myself well into adulthood,,

- the odd disparity between "but i'm so helpless i don't think it's possible for me to live on my own, i don't know how to do anything, i'm going to be a child forever" and "HUH living on my own is SO nice and easy?? i'm handling adulthood so much better than i ever thought i would????" because it turns out having control over my own environment frees up so much space in my brain

- the autism nerf becomes very apparent the moment i Return Home and suddenly the old brick walls in the brain are back. suddenly somehting as easy as making a little cheese toastie, a food that i've been eating almost every day for most of my life, becomes a strenuous task because i have to navigate a now unfamiliar territory, just choosing a cheese is hard enough because some of these belong to someone else and are off limits, if i open a new cheese when there was another one already open i will be berated for it, if i use the wrong cheese that is too fatty and melty i will be berated for picking the wrong cheese, and the fridge is very full and confusing and maybe i'm just missing the most obvious cheese, i'll just ask, and of course i can always ask, i am not afraid of asking for help but i'm always so tired of being made to feel stupid and clueless for needing to ask, but if i just assume i will always make the wrong assumption, and IS IT ANY WONDER SO MANY OF US DEVELOP ANXIETY

- anyway yes i'm absolutely THAT Autistic.

#i say autistic but on paper i've got aspergers because norway uses outdated diagnoses :)#im just. mh. i know all this already but it's helpful to articulate it out #to put words to the ways i struggle instead of swallowing it down constantly #i want to do things but my brain is full of brick walls!!!!!!! it's a labyrinth up in here!!!#the thread here is that it's 'easy' to mask in a place you're familiar with #but then having the freedom to unmask - the return is always revealing

70 notes · View notes

ice-cap-k · 7 months

Text

Glassy Eyes

This is where I start getting carried away.

Fanfic of a fanfic. Based on Sixteenthdays' "From the Archives" series. Supposedly takes place after their story Immersive Story Telling.

Their tumblr

Seriously, their stuff is good. It puts this story to shame. I highly recommend you go check them out.

Cross-posted on AO3 here: Glassy Eyes

____________________________________

[Click]

[GRIAN]

Huh. Would you look at that? Did someone drop off another statement last night? Scar? Scar!

[Sound of door opening.]

[Scar]

What’s happening?

[Grian]

Did you leave this on my desk?

[Crinkling of paper.]

[Scar]

Hm? Oh, that wasn’t me. That was Impulse. He said Ren came in yesterday and dropped it off in a box at the front desk

[Grian]

(Indignantly) I was here yesterday too. Why didn’t he just come on in for an in-person statement like last time? It’s so much more satisfying when it’s in person.

[Scar]

He showed up after you left. And even then, it sounded like he was in a rush. Impulse seemed worried about him. It was like he just dropped off the box and ran out the door.

[Grian]

(Scoffs) Fine. Fine. I’ll have to talk to him about it later. Thank you for telling me.

[Scar]

Any time!

[Door squeaks closed]

[Grian]

I suppose a new statement is still better than a stale one. Statement of Ren D. Dog regarding an escape room experience. Original statement recorded yesterday, apparently, October 5, 2023. Statement begins.

[GRIAN (STATEMENT)]

Before I get to the important bits, I just want to apologize at the beginning for the handwriting ‘cause I’m going to write this in a rush. I probably shouldn’t be taking the time to write this at all, but you people listened and believed me when I told you about my escapades in the sewer and you’re the only ones I can think of who might know something about what I saw or have some sort of connection. I really hope so. I could really use some direction here.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. You’re going to want to know everything, so I’m going to start with the group chat. Er, ok not exactly the chat, but there’s a group I’m in where a bunch of friends plan out fun little outings. I’ve known most of them for years. Good people. We’ve had lots of fun times together. Sometimes we make a day of fun little games. Simple stuff like tag with Nerf guns and extra steps. Other times it’s a huge event that takes a lot of planning, organizing, and a venue.

Two days ago was our last meet-up. It was one of the bigger events we had planned for the year. Some of the fellas in our group had never been to an escape room before, so I figured we had to do something about that. I’ve been to a handful myself. Escape rooms are just good fun, honestly, and are great for big parties. The best places know how to break up big groups of people into littler groups and space them out so they can work through each room without catching up to the people who went first.

I took it upon myself to take charge of the planning. Nobody seemed to have any issue with me handling it this time around so as far as I was concerned it was up to me to throw the grooviest get-together of the year.

I found the place immediately. There was an ad that popped up in my “recommended” section on the forum I use to do research for my podcast. It was for a brand new escape room about to open up on the edge of town. There wasn’t much information available, but that made sense. It was a brand new business. There wouldn’t be any history on the company that a quick Google search would be able to provide. But there was a phone number on the ad, so I made a few calls. Talked to the owners about renting the place out for the day. It sounded like a good one. Cool concept. They were more than happy to set it up and stagger us out in groups as we went through the challenges. They sounded so excited to have so much interest this early into their launch. We got everything all squared away, and I let the fellas in the chat know the date and the time.

Everyone else seemed really into it, too. They pitched in their share of money to cover the costs. It didn’t come out to be that much per person since there were a lot of us and the company only charged a single lump sum for renting the place out for a day.

But the day before we were supposed to go, one of my friends had to back out of the arrangement. Poor thing fell sick and didn’t want to expose us to something nasty. I felt bad for the dude. The least I could do was offer them their money back. I could have covered their share on my own but they didn’t want it back. They just told me, “go ahead and take someone else in my place. I don’t mind.” At that point, everyone in our group chat who wanted to go was already going. Then someone suggested that, since I planned this one out, I should ask a friend of mine who wasn’t already part of the group to join in on the fun. Everyone was cool with it. Excited at the idea of a possible new addition to the group, even.

So I called up my good friend BigB. We used to hang out a lot back in university, but I hadn’t seen him in a while. This felt like a good opportunity to catch up. BigB said, “sure thing, man,” and we were set for fun times ahead.

So the big day rolls around and we get to this place and meet up with the others. Greetings and introductions go around, and we get ready to rumble. The host comes out to meet us. She explained the game and what we could expect. Our whole party would be divided up into groups of two. There would be timers running for pairs to try to solve all the puzzles in a room. Either they passed in the time limit, or the time limit would run out and they would be ushered to the next room. Either way, it would free the place up for the next pair to come in and try their hand at the reset puzzles. Then they walked us through the safety measures. Each room had a buzzer by the door that could be hit to let the workers know that you needed to get out. It would unlock the door and deactivate any machinery or whatever fancy doohickies they had in the place. Sometimes people get claustrophobic or anxious in a confined place. Especially when put under pressure.

It was all super chill and fun at first. A bunch of us hung out in the lobby while we waited for the first few pairs to go. When it was me and BigB’s turn, the host waved us over and we went in the door together.

BigB might not have been to an escape room before, but the man was absolutely brilliant. We made it through the first two rooms at lightning speed. The challenges weren’t too difficult, in retrospect, but they weren’t super easy either. It seemed like every time I got stuck in a rut, too caught up on a detail to figure things out, B would pat me on the shoulder and point out something I missed. We never went past the time limit. He was always a pretty observant guy when we hung out at the theater, but I never really stopped to appreciate it until now.

I kept marveling at how different it was compared to other places you see nowadays. It was honestly pretty clever. They modeled the inside like some big dollhouse. Fancy decorations and plastic furniture and all. There were mannequins set up to look like a setting with people. A few of the figures that were supposed to be little kids even had dolls of their own in their plastic arms.

It was in one of these rooms that B first pulled me aside. I had been trying to puzzle over a lock on the fake kitchen’s fridge. I’d assumed it would be like before, and that he’d blow my mind with some silly detail I had missed, but instead, he told me that the doll was looking at us. He pointed to this little glass doll in the lap of a mannequin kid. Its head was sort of tilted towards us. The glassy eyes glittered.

That creeped me right out. Sent a shiver right up my spine. But I also figured it was just a prop. Maybe even part of the puzzle. So I took what he said pretty seriously. I think that might have surprised him that I believed him so easily.

I tried waving my hand in front of the doll, moving around the room, I even picked the thing up. It didn’t seem to follow me as I moved, and there was nothing I could find that was off about the doll, so I shrugged it off and said maybe it was just a red herring. He didn’t look too convinced, but he didn’t argue. We ended up finding the key in a cake and moved on to the next room.

It was a bathroom. It was kind of small for the two of us, but we searched the place for the next set of clues. At some point, I opened a cupboard under the sink and nearly jumped out of my skin. There was another doll, sitting pretty on the shelf facing outwards to smile at some unsuspecting fool like me who opened the door. It spooked me so bad, that I bumped into the full-body mirror hanging against the wall and it came crashing down.

Broken glass got everywhere. I was ok. No cuts or anything. BigB was spooked something fierce. He looked me over to make sure I was ok. I mostly just felt bad about damaging the place's property. I was already rehearsing an apology and coming up with a payment plan to present the owners with when BigB got distracted. I asked him what was up, and he turned me around.

Behind where the mirror was hanging was a small door. Only a few feet wide. Maybe two feet tall. It reminded me of the house I grew up in, where my bedroom closet had a little door for easy access to the plumbing in the bathroom on the other side of the wall. It looked like those tiny maintenance doors. You couldn’t walk through it, but it was big enough for someone around our size to crawl through. There were no cobwebs like the one back in my old closet. This one looked nice and clean. Almost like it was well-used.

BigB thought we should hit the button near the last door. We could contact the hosts, let them know we broke the mirror. Our round would be forfeited, though. I wasn’t ready for that. We were only halfway through, and up until then, our rounds had been fantastic. The stuff of legends.

If I’m going to be honest, the little door also got me curious. We were in an escape room. How was I supposed to know it wasn’t part of the game? For all we knew, we had accidentally skipped a bunch of steps that would have eventually told us to move the mirror. I said as much to BigB. He seemed hesitant, but then I said that if the door ended up leading to nothing more than a bunch of pipes, we’d move on. I was at least hoping we could finish up with this room or go until our timer ran out before we contacted the hosts. Just to make things go a little bit longer. Beat one more riddle for the sake of my own satisfaction.

He actually agreed. So I kneeled down, brushed some of the broken glass bits out of the way, and he opened the door.

There was a whole tiny corridor on the other side! Like a mini hallway. BigB saw that and elbowed me in the side. “Looks like you were right. We just skipped an entire room.” He crawled in first, and I followed.

The hallway ceiling sloped upward almost immediately so we could stand back up and start walking again. This part of the building was noticeably different from the rest. Up until then, the rooms had been homely and tacky. Plastic and overstuffed. Full of dolls and cheap props. The walls and floor of this hall were grey concrete and hard edges.

The dolls were still around, though. Mostly the smaller ones. None of the mannequins. A mix of plastic and porcelain faces stared blankly out at the wall from lines of shelves.

The further we went, the less put-together the dolls seemed to be. There would be a cracked cheek here and a few missing strands of hair there, but before long entire swathes of shelves were full of doll bits. Not even entire dolls. Just their arms and legs and heads all lined up.

I had also noticed that the hallway seemed less well kept than the rest of the building. The door had seemed clean, and I suppose the hard floor did too, but clear strands of what looked like spider silk were hanging from the ceiling. Memories of what I saw with Doc were still pretty fresh in my mind, so when I started noticing doll parts tangled and left hanging in thicker knots of strands, I could feel myself losing my nerve.

I tried suggesting to BigB that we turn back. I’m pretty sure I made some excuse about how we must have accidentally found the storage rooms. We hadn’t seen anything that looked like a clue or puzzle since we came through the door. But by now BigB seemed hooked. He begged me to go just a little further with him. He just wanted to check the place out. If it was just storage, then as long as we didn’t mess with anything there was no harm in being there. We could always go back once we got to the end.

I couldn’t say no to him. I just couldn’t. His reasoning was sound, sure, but there was a spark in his eye that I just didn’t have it in me to douse. He was really curious about this place for some reason I could no longer fathom. But I was the one who suggested going through the door in the first place. I could ride this thing out a little longer.

I tried. I really did try.

We didn’t go very far when BigB took the lead. He mumbled something I didn’t hear. When I asked him to repeat, he called back a little louder, “The dolls are watching us again.”

Every hair on my body stood on end. I looked at the dolls hanging from the ceiling and at the ones lined up against the wall, and rows upon rows of eyes stared down at us. The plastic faces remained unchanged, but this time I could visibly see the painted marbles in the eye sockets moving to keep pace with us. Disembodied doll heads turned in place to continue staring.

But BigB kept going. Even as I tugged on his arm. I asked, no, demanded to know how he wasn’t freaked out, but he just shook me off. “We’re almost to the end of the hall,” he said. And he took my hand. “There’s something there. I can see it. Can’t you? Don’t you want to know what it is?”

I don’t know what came over me, but it was almost like the moment his hand touched mine his excitement sort of rubbed off on me. I don’t know how to fully explain it. It was like I was feeling what he was feeling. My fear was still there, but now there was also a burning curiosity. I couldn’t see what was at the end of the hall like he could. I didn’t see the end at all, but I didn’t run away. I let him drag me forward until we passed the threshold of another doorway. This one was normal-sized. There was no door, just the opening. I couldn’t see anything past the doorframe, but I trusted BigB. He seemed to be able to see ahead of us. So it came as a complete shock when I took a step forward and the ground was just gone!

The place had no floor. Both me and B dropped screaming into the black. I don’t know how deep it was or how far we fell, but if there wasn’t a bottom, there at least had to be a ceiling because a lot of those cobwebby strands hung down deep in clumps. They caught at us like vines, dragging at our limbs. My arms are still littered with tiny little crisscrossed cuts from falling through them and having them break across my skin, but they did manage to slow our fall. The two of us hit a point where there were so many little strings that they wrapped around us like a net and kept us from going any further.

I just hung there for a moment, catching my breath, trying to figure out what the hell had happened. BigB was hanging next to me, struggling for a handhold on the strings holding him up. And I think it was right then that I realized that this stuff wasn’t spider silk at all. It was too thick. Not stretchy enough. I think it might have been fishing line. It felt like that. Like thick, clear, plastic lines. They felt about as comfortable as you’d expect a fishing net to be.

We couldn’t see the bottom from where we hung. Couldn’t see the top where we came from either. I could see other things hanging above us and below us. Caught in suspension by the hanging strands. There were a few more dolls. And some rocks, curiously enough. Big rocks, little rocks, literal statues. I didn’t try to make sense of it. What was happening didn’t make sense. I also didn’t spot the human skeleton until BigB gasped and pointed it out.

It was hanging in front of him, maybe two yards away from him and even further from me. It had to have been there for years. The flesh had long rotten off its bones, making it impossible to tell if it was once a man or a woman. Only a few scraps of cloth hung from their arms and legs. It hung splayed out, supported by the plastic wires looped around its wrists and ankles. Another loop wrapped under its chin and around its neck like a noose. It kept the skull upright. Almost like it would be looking directly at BigB if it could, but there were no eyes in those sockets.

As silly as it sounds, the skeleton almost looked laughable hanging there. Sure, it probably spelled doom and gloom for the two of us if we stopped to think about how long they had been down here without anyone noticing. But the way it hung there suspended by its arms and legs, it was like a kid’s puppet. Tossed aside, limp and small and waiting.

“This is it. We’re going to die down here,” B wailed.

I tried to calm him down. Talk it out and come up with some sort of plan for both our sakes. I needed to believe it as much as he did. I started struggling. Some of the strings shifted as I pulled on them, which wasn’t very comforting. Still, the lines were sturdy enough to hold us. Maybe we could climb them? We could go back up and out the way we came. Or if we couldn’t get up, we could work our way down. There had to be a bottom. Once we got down there we could figure something else out.

BigB didn’t really like that second idea. “Don’t go down,” he begged. “Down is so much worse.” Frankly, I was inclined to believe him.

I managed to convince him to try climbing up. I was starting to make some progress myself. The strands weren’t the most sturdy things. I could feel some of them snap or give way above me as I dragged myself up a few inches, but there were tons of them. Even with a few breakages, I was still able to hold myself relatively steady. I think seeing that helped him calm down. He started pulling himself up after me. As he moved, the strings swung a little. He found himself shifting back and forth, swinging closer and closer to the skeleton. He didn’t seem too enthused about it. I tried suggesting he shift his weight a little to the other side. He did, but by then he already had momentum. He swung really close to the skeleton. Within a foot or two, and my stomach dropped as the strings holding its right hand began to quiver.

I thought maybe BigB had shifted something loose above us, and it was hitting the strings holding the skeleton, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. To my horror, the thing moved forward. It hung limp, but its limbs moved independently like a marionette under the skillful hand of a puppeteer. One dead hand lurched forward, wrapping around a clump of the strings holding BigB in a way that would have been downright painful if the thing had had any muscle or nerves left. And then the strings holding the skeleton’s other arm aloft twitched and swung forward to wrap around BigB’s shoulders. The head leaned in, the jaw opened, and somewhere above us a voice said, “What good timing. I’m always looking for good replacement parts.”

BigB screamed. I’m pretty sure I screamed too. Bones rattled as B tried to throw the skeleton away from him, but I could only watch in horror as the puppet strings controlling its arms twisted around B and wrapped him tight. He thrashed. I screamed at him to hang on. I wasn’t sure what I would do, just that I had to do something. The only thing I could think of was getting to BigB, so I climbed. I grabbed at strings and clumps and whatever else I could to drag myself over to him.

In my desperate desire to help, I stopped paying attention to how sturdy the strings were. They were giving out like crazy in my hands. Things above me shifted. I remember reaching out to BigB, but then B shoved the skeleton back and screamed at me to look out. I looked up and saw one of the sharp rocks that had been hanging above us start to fall. I watched as it came down at me. I felt it slam into my skull, and that was the last thing I remembered. It all went black after that.

When I opened my eyes, I was back in the fake little bathroom. I was lying on the tiled floor next to the broken bits of mirror with some dudes’ faces blocking out the light. My head hurt something crazy.

My friends and the hosts had come to get me and BigB when we didn’t respond to the buzzer signaling time had run out. They saw me on the ground next to some broken glass and a gash on my head and panicked. I felt bad. I must have been a sorry sight. They picked me up and started patching me up. And I was grateful for the help. But then one of them asked where BigB went.

I freaked out. I started to point at the wall, shouting that he was still behind the little door, but everyone just looked at me like they were confused. I tried explaining what had happened, how we went through the little door behind the mirror in the storage room, but as I started describing the hall, the owners of the establishment cut me off and told me there was no door there.

The really freaky thing was that there wasn’t. I went back to that bathroom and the space on the wall was empty. I even ran my hand along it, but there were no seams or edges that I could feel. The one owner was even nice enough to peel back the wall paper after we searched for BigB for an hour with no luck. There was nothing there. It was like the door had never been there. Maybe I had just hit my head when I broke the mirror and dreamed it all. But dream or not, we never did find BigB.

Everyone, me, my friends, even the owners, we all practically tore that place apart looking for him. And when we ran out of places to look inside the building, we started combing the area outside for him. We weren’t able to find anything. When it started to get dark, someone called the police. A few officers came out to check the place out. They asked us a few questions and took our numbers, but it’s not like they came up with anything we hadn’t already found. It was like B vanished without a trace.

I’ve been at my wit's end trying to track him down since then. I don’t think I’ve gotten any sleep these past two days. I’ve even started putting up posters asking if anyone’s seen him. Everyone else is pitching in, but I can’t help but feel responsible. I’m the one who asked him to come along on this trip, and I lost him when we were partnered up. If there’s a chance that my dream wasn’t actually a dream, then I even convinced him to go down that creepy hall with me. If anyone should have gotten got, it should have been me.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Doc already left because of something freaky we saw. And now BigB’s gone too. This is different from when Doc left. Doc can handle himself. He’s crazy strong and smart. Doc avoided me, but he didn’t completely vanish. People still saw him.

This isn’t Doc we’re talking about here. It’s BigB. BigB wouldn’t hurt a fly. BigB can stick to himself sometimes, but he doesn’t get lost in projects and vanish like Doc can. He’s just gone.

Well, most of him is. While we waited for the police to arrive, I stuck my hand in my pocket and found something that hadn’t been there before.

I didn’t know what to do with it or how they got there. It makes no sense. The police didn’t bother with them, so I’m leaving them with you on the off chance they might be some sort of clue.

I think they’re BigB’s eyes.

[Grian]

Statement ends.

[Increasingly panicked breathing.]

[Grian]

I… I can’t. I just- I have to go call-

[Click]

[Grian]

I tried calling BigB. I tried a lot. He’s not picking up. Despite Ren’s questionable honesty about his own name, he’s proven to provide accurate statements. At least as far as we have been able to tell. And as much as I wish it wasn’t true, much of what appears in this statement has been backed up with follow-up research.

An inquiry to the police station confirmed that Ren and a handful of others had reported BigB missing two days ago, and considering BigB is a fully grown adult with the right to come and go as he pleases without telling anyone, I wouldn’t be surprised if they continue to drag their feet on an investigation.

As for the escape room establishment, Ren had left an address and printout of the ad he had found online in the box he left at the front desk. I asked Scar to look into it and he managed to contact the owners. They claimed they have no clue how Ren and BigB managed to find the room with the dolls. The walls have been inspected, but no traces of a “small door” are to be found. The wall is solid. There’s no possible way they could have gone through, or that BigB might have ended up in the walls, though they have since reviewed the blueprints they received upon purchasing the building. Upon further inspection, they found that on the opposite side of the same wall where Ren described the door is an empty space. No room is indicated. Or anything, really. Just empty space. They’re currently looking into having a contractor take a look for signs of a boarded-up room. The sooner, the better.

They also provided a little information on the building’s history as it was told to them upon purchase of the premises. This information we later confirmed after searching through public records. Apparently, the building used to house the production of doll parts, which would explain a lot. It wasn’t a full production plant. Too small for that. Rather, it was a hub for touch up work and assembling the doll pieces before they could be sold to local toy shops. The new owners took it upon themselves to use some of the leftover products they found lying around as props in their escape rooms.

Pearl dug through a few newspaper articles in the archives and found that the previous owner had died in a very peculiar accident. I’ll, uh, spare you the details, but it appears they were caught in the wires used for assembling puppets. The place had been left to rot for almost twenty years before the current owners bought the property.

Oh yeah! As for the other gift Ren left for us in the box…

[Dull rattling]

He wasn’t lying. There were a pair of eyes in there.

They’re not really BigB’s eyes. They can’t be. They’re made of glass. They’re those freaky kinds of weighted marbles they use in porcelain dolls. The ones that are made to blink at you when you tilt the things back and forth. I can see why he said they were BigB’s eyes, though. They’re the same shade of brown as his. And have that same gradient effect at the edges where it gets a little darker all the way around his irises. The resemblance is kind of uncanny.

They were definitely made to look just like BigB’s.

I can’t find it in me to have Impulse take them to storage. I don’t like them looking at me, but it feels wrong, somehow, to have them locked away in a dark room. I’ll probably just keep them in one of my desk drawers until we find him.

[Sighs]

I’ll call Ren later if he can stop his search long enough to let me help.

Heh. We should keep a nickel jar for whenever one of us goes missing. Between me and my friends, we’d make a fortune.

[Click]

#whumptober 2023 #prompt no. 6 #recording #“It should have been me”#minecraft: hermitcraft #the magnus archives #creative writing #creepy dolls #missing persons #renthedog #bigbst4tz2 #grian #goodtimeswithscar #horror #the hermit archives #from the archives #escape room gone wrong #Human remains

21 notes · View notes

octoberautumnbox · 24 days

Note

Good luck if you attempt this challenge! And what was your fastest run if you did multiple attempts? Or your favorite list?

14:38 lmao also commentary near the end bc this was fun but pls dont read

Kwon Eunbi

Miyawaki Sakura

Kang Hyewon

Choi Yena

Lee Chaeyeon

Kim Chaewon

Kim Minju

Yabuki Nako

Honda Hitomi

Jo Yuri

Ahn Yujin

Jang Wonyoung

Huh Yunjin

Nakamura Kazuha

Kim Gaeul

Naoi Rei

Kim Jiwon

Jeon Heejin

Kim Hyunjin

Jo Haseul

Im Yeojin

Wong Kahei

Lee Jungeun

Choi Yerim

Jeong Jinsoul

Ha Sooyoung

Kim Jiwoo

Park Chaewon

Son Hyeju

Kwon Nayeon

Park Jinkyung

Sakata Sora

Kim Daeun

Kim Minseo

Lee Saerom

Song Hayoung

Jang Gyuri

Park Jiwon

Roh Jisun

Lee Seoyeon

Lee Chaeyoung

Lee Nagyung

Baek Jiheon

Yoo Jimin

Kim Minjeong

Uchinaga Aeri

Ning Yizhuo

Hwang Yeji

Park Jisu

Shin Ryujin

Lee Chaeryeong

Shin Yuna

Oh Haewon

Seol Yoona

Bae Jinsol

Morrow Lily

Kim Jiwoo (lmao)

Kim Minji

Pham Hanni

Mo Danielle

Im Nayeon

Yoo Jeongyeon

Hirai Momo

Minatozaki Sana

Park Jihyo

Myoui Mina

Kim Dahyun

Son Chaeyoung

Chou Tzuyu

Kang Seulgi

Bae Joohyun

Kim Yerim

Wendy

Joy (I dont stan rv)

Kim Jennie

Lisa Manoban

Park Chaeyoung

Kim Jisoo

Kim Yooyeon

Kim Nakyoung

Kim Chaeyeon

Seo Dahyun

Park Sohyun

FUCK THE KEP1ER GIRLS Choi Yujin

uhh Kim Chaehyun

Shen Xiaoting

Sakamoto Mashiro

Kim Dayeon

Kang Yeseo

Seo Yeongeun

Ezaki Hikaru

Huening Bahiyyih

Where was I on tripleS uhh Yamada Kaede

Yoon Seoyeon

nerfed myself btw bc rule #1 Zhao Lusi????

who else uhh Lee Jieun

Zhou Xinyu

fuck it Aiah Arceta

Maloi Ricalde

Mikha Lim

7 notes · View notes

vickyvicarious · 6 months

Text

Once again, the emphasis on accuracy and sanity. I love how often this recurs throughout the course of the book, even right up till the end.

the way he says "great, frowning precipices" is very pleasing to my ears

Now they're both sleeping during the day...

"at once, I exalted and feared" a very common reaction to vampires. It's fun that he is having the same reaction to the castle itself, though not quite for the same reasons

the way he says "more charming than ever" sounds so suspicious

this test is so heartbreaking, to them both and to me

oh the delivery of that "I cannot" line is awful

horse noises <3

I like the music and wind here

Snow-flurries, mist, moonlight, dust, what can't these ladies do? who needs bats anyway

oh no buddy, nothing's befooling you. this is real

his fear for Mina first is quite sweet

Mina Knows

oh the echoes of Dracula's laugh beneath Mina's is really unsettling. Though I think it would have been more fitting in this scene to have an echo of the vampire ladies' laughter rather than his

also her delivery of "Fear for me! Why fear for me?" is so great

Van Helsing really emphazing that they were gonna deliver kisses over and over again huh

I really do love the editing of their voices. And their performance, that one lilting "come" especially

the horsesssss :(

the sigh on "and so, we remained" is so weary and well done

Van Helsing trying to hypnotize Mina in her sleep is a pretty desperate move. Shows again how nervous he is about what he's going to do

Jack sounds so hurried and eager. Wolves....! the suspense is building!

"We ride to death of some one. God alone knows who, or where, or when, or how it may be..." Jack really does have some banger lines. I love this one.

Van Helsing BUSTING THE DOORS IN here we go

actually I dread this part a little bit but also it'll be good

"so full of life and voluptuous beauty" okay calm down.

no but really I wonder just how different his narration of the Lucy staking scenes would be than Jack's were, actually.

yeahhhh, sleep-deprived vampire slaying is a dangerous move.

mina waking him, saving the day! I always imagined more of a shriek/scream with almost an echoing quality than this despairing moan. It's an interesting choice.

VERY susceptible to voluptuousness. as is fitting for Jack's mentor, I suppose.

For a half-second I thought he said "I had nerfed myself to my wild work" and it made me laugh so much.

Dracula's gotta show off, even with his tomb

I do love his evil laugh

The delivery of "and I dreaded it." oh boy.

Oh the shrieking....

"I tremble and tremble even yet" oh buddy....

I love how this isn't a happy triumphant experience. It is exhausting and traumatizing and feels horrible to go through.

Mina's deep concern for him, and also "let's go find my Jonathan" <3

though Van Helsing obviously doesn't think it's Jonathan she is talking about....

#re: dracula #van helsing #mina murray #jack seward #vampire ladies

10 notes · View notes

thetwilightroadtonightfall · 2 months

Text

my fandom experiences just repeat themselves in one way or another…

(personal ramble about khux and oh? What’s this? Pokespe coming in with the steel chair!! under the cut)

thinking about how my first fandom was pokespe, which at the time (late 2000s), was very under appreciated and obscure (still kind of is tbh) and how I was constantly talking with fellow fans in forums about how it would be so cool for it to get an anime adaptation, what kinds of voices the characters would get, what kinds of lore expansions would make sense, even going out of my way to explain how different yet how much of a love letter it is to the other pokemon media. Then sighing wistfully over how the specific medium of art it was created in sadly nerfed an otherwise incredible story.

Between the games, anime, countless other more recent media, and pokespe the obscure manga that’s hard to even find online, people are naturally gonna pick something other than pokespe first. (Pokemon itself as a whole, as a franchise, has also changed drastically over the years but that’s beside the point)

and I just sit here now like. wow. wow. My whole experience with khux has just been me reliving my childhood experiences with pokespe huh. An incredible, unique, profound story that I love so very much, but got held back by its medium/the nature of its existence in almost every way possible. I can’t forget how hard it was to have to wait for the next main story update, only for it to be disney filler. I can’t forget how shit I was at pulling good medals and progressing in the physical game because I was f2p. I can’t forget the times when official translations would come out online weeks if not months after an update. And I can’t forget the years and years of wishing other people (the kh fandom at large; we had our own lil khx/khux community even back then) could see what I see, could see the beauty and potential of it all…

There was a point where I had to tell myself: khux is and can be enjoyable, but like with pokespe, it does and will admittedly take extra work for most people to find appreciation for it and genuine joy in it. I constantly do the extra work because I want to, but not everybody feels the same way, nor to the same extent that I do. And as much as I love it, I’m ultimately not responsible for convincing people to change their minds about it or become interested in it. I just have to keep enjoying it myself, and people with like minds will eventually find me. I think I’ve found peace in accepting that.

But I can’t deny that a part of me will never stop wondering about what could’ve been, for both sagas.

#roadie rambles #khux is my special interest so obviously it means a lot to me but it’s not like that with most people and that’s okay!#I think at the core of it all that acceptance was the peace I was looking for as a kid reading pokespe back then #that lil neurodivergent kid would be so happy to know that I can now genuinely talk about my interests with other people

5 notes · View notes

artzychic27 · 1 year

Text

Cosette: *recording her message on Ismael2-D2* Help me, Denise-Wan Kenobi. you're my only hope. All right, now what do I click?

Ismael2-D2: Click "Preferences".

Cosette: Okay, I clicked "Preferences".

Isnael2-D2: Now go to "Default Media Browser".

Cosette: Okay. There's a little hourglass and it's-it's not letting me do anything. It-it says "Buffering", what is that?

Ismael2-D2: Just give it a minute.

Cosette: All I'm trying to do is make an MPEG.

Ismael2-D2: All I'm trying to do is tell you to wait a minute.

Cosette: Okay, relax.

Ismael2-D2: Now click, "Import Video File".

Cosette: All right. It's telling me I have to download RealPlayer 7.

Ismael2-D2: You know what? I'll just bring it to them myself.

—

Jean Skywalker: Well I guess I'll go and bulls-eye some wamp rats with my T-16.

Simon-3PO: You kill small animals for fun?! That's the first indication of a serial killer, you freak!

Jean Skywalker: There’s two suns and no guys my age here! What am I supposed to do?!

—

Zoé: Heh-heh! Look, Nath is Boba Fett!

—

Stormtrooper (Sabrina): Have we ever hit anything with these things?

Stormtrooper (Ivan): I hit a bird once.

—

Max: Hold your fire, there's no lifeforms aboard.

Kim: Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now?

Max: You don't do the budget Kim, I do.

—

Jean: Is it a fast ship?

Zoé Solo: Are you kidding? It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!

Jean: Um, isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time?

Zoé Solo: Chewie, take these guys to the ship and get her ready.

Laceybacca: *makes Chewbacca's trademark gargling roar for a second, then spits out water in a nearby sink* Always gargle before a take-off. Wocka-wocka! Alright, let's go.

—

Zoé: *Presents the Millennium Falcon* Well? What do you think?

Jean: What a piece of junk!

Zoé: Thank you, this was my sister’s; she died of leukemia. How do you feel now?

—

Marc Vader: So, Denise-Wan, we meet again. What part of "Stay 50 yards away at all times" don't you understand?! *Denise-Wan activates their lightsaber, which instantly turns flaccid*

Denise-Wan Kenobi: Shit.

Marc Vader: Your powers are weak, old one!

—

Ismael2-D2: *opens a hatch and shoots down a TIE fighter with a pistol* YEA-HEAH!!! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, beeyatch!

—

Cosette: Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!

Jean: Whoa! Whoa!

Zoé: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!

—

Marc Vader: Oh, come on, Jean, come join the Dark Side! It's really cool!

Jean: Well I don't know. Whose on it?

Marc Vader: Well um... there's me, the Emperor, this guy Scott. You'll like him, he's awesome...

—

*Marc Vader arrives on the second Death Star with a bunch of passengers*

Marc Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just...I don't understand why...I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.

*Nino as Moff Jerjerrod enters*

Nino Jerjerrod: Hi, Darth. You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?

Marc Vader: Wow, it's you? Are we already out of our usual set?

—

Ismael: Agghhh! Fuck you, you son of a bitch! What am I, R2-Pac?!

—

Cosette: Aren't you a little scrawny to be a storm trooper?

Jean: Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up Royal.

Cosette: Wait! Who are you?

Jean: *takes their helmet off* I'm Jean Skywalker. Me and Zoé Solo and Denise-Wan are here to rescue you.

Cosette: Wait, Denise-Wan Kenobi?

Jean: Yeah. Suddenly I'm not so scrawny, huh?

—

Emperor Aurore: Hey...Hey, Darth? Darth?

Marc Vader: Yeah? What?

*Thle Emperor draws a circle on her napkin*

Emperor Aurore: That. That's what.

Marc Vader: What? It's a circle. It's a good circle, I'll give you that.

Emperor Aurore: No. No, no. Space station.

Marc Vader: What?

Emperor Aurore: Yep.

Marc Vader: What?

Emperor Aurore: Yep, it is.

Marc Vader: No way!

Emperor Aurore: It is. It is, big time.

—

Austin B: I think we're doomed!

Austin A: Nah. Unless they got any big, giant robot camels, I think we're OK.

*The thud of the AT-AT's footsteps can be heard as they approach*

Austin B: Ah, Armbruster, *points at the AT-AT's* robot camels.

—

Cosette: We're gonna be pulverized!

Zoé: Look, we got four or five of the main characters on this ship. I think we're gonna be okay.

—

Simon3-PO: This is insane, Zoé, they're gonna find us here.

Lacey: Yeah, and even if they don't, where are we gonna hide out after this?

Zoé: Hey, what about Lando?

Cosette: The Lando System?

Zoé: Lando's not system, he's a black guy. In fact, I think he might be the only black guy in the galaxy.

—

Jean: A sister! Who is it?

Denise’s Ghost: Who do you think it is? The Princess you just Frenched, man!

Jean: Cosette...

—

Marc Vader: Join us, Jean. Turn to the backside of the force!

Jean Skywalker: What?

Marc Vader: Dark side-turn-turn to the-long day!

—

Marc: Spoiler alert! I am your father!

Jean: Well, that's fine, but I don't see how that affects...Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

—

Lacey: Is that him?

Cosette: I'm not sure. Jean, if that's you wave your right hand... no your RIGHT hand!

Jean: It's me, you fuckers!

—

Emperor Aurore: Welcome, young Skywalker.

Marc Vader: Why, thank you!

Emperor Aurore: Not you!

Marc Vader: I'm so embarrassed.

Emperor Aurore: I thought you should know, young Skywalker, that your friends are walking into a trap.

Jean: Wow. You're white? You totally sounded black on the phone.

Emperor Aurore: Silence! You will turn to the dark side, and your precious rebellion will be destroyed. *Mockingly* Oh! I'm afraid the shield generator will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

Jean: Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.

—

Zoé: *Breaks into the control room and points a gun at Nathaniel, Alix, Rose, and Juleka* All right, everybody, hands in the air! All right. Now I want you to take off your helmets, go outside and dig your own graves with them!

Cosette: Zoé, that's kind of dark.

Zoé: Shut it! There's enough cutesy crap in this movie. I think we all need this. Now get outside!

*Later outside, the four of them dig their graves while crying as Zoé points her gun at them*

Nathaniel: I have a family!

Zoé: Faster!

Nathaniel: I just do data entry!

Zoé: All right. *Points to Alix* You, kill him.

Alix: What?

Zoé: Kll him. Take this knife and stab him in the mouth.

Alix: No, please!

Zoé: Shut up! And after he's dead, cut off his face and wear it as your face.

Rose: Please!

Zoé: I've had it up to here with Ewoks! Now, stab him and wear his face! And then go home to his family still wearing his face, and see how long it takes them to figure out that it's you and not him!

—

Marc: Oh, my God! I meant to hit you in the shoulder, and that whole thing just fell! Did you see that?

Aurore: What?

Marc: That whole thing just fell!

Aurore: How?

Marc: I don't know! He was up there like, "I can't do this," I threw the thing, and I just meant to hit him in the arm, and then the whole thing fell!

Aurore: Well, that's good, right? We want him hurt.

Marc: Are you using your brain?! We're lucky if we come out of this without a lawsuit!

—

Lacey: Hey, bitches! I just killed, like, fifty stormtroopers!

Zoé: That thing is really cool!

Lacey: Damn right it is! See that squirrel over there? Hi, little squirrel. *Fires at the squirrel* Ooh!

Zoé: Hey, why don't you blast open this door, and then we can...

Lacey: Hey, a butterfly! Look at those beautiful wings flapping. But uh-oh, here comes ka-slice! *Blasts the butterfly* Whoa! What do we have here? A fully formed beehive! Must have taken months to build that guy. Well, guess what?

*Lacey blasts the beehive, and the bees retaliate*

Lacey: Oh, God! *Runs away screaming as the bees sting her*

Cosette: … Should we help her?

Zoé: Eh.

—

Jean: I'm a Jedi, like my father before me!

Marc: All right, let's everybody just calm the fuck down.

—

Jean: Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?

Marc: Oh! Now you've done it.

*Jean screams as Aurore shoots at him with her lightning*

Aurore: Yeah! I'm a bad guy! Yeah! Yeah! How about that, huh? Look at that! Look what I can do! Yeah! In your fucking face!

Jean: Father, please!

Marc: "Please"? You know what? You have nice manners. I'm so delighted that Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen took the time to teach you nice manners. And just for that, I'm going to help you out here. *Uses his powers to throw Aurore off the railing*

Aurore: *Screaming*

Marc: That's the power of "please," kids.

—

Marc: Jean, help me get this mask off. Let me look on you with my own eyes, father to son.

*As Jean tries to remove his helmet, he inadvertently snaps his neck, killing him*

Jean: … Ahhh! Oh, no! He's dead because of what the Emperor did a while ago! I better take his body! *Drags Marc’s body up the ramp* Just 'cause.

—

Marc Skywalker: What the hell, man? I was going to make it!

Jean Skywalker: Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.

Marc Skywalker: Fuck you, you murdered me, you ass!

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marc anciel #aurore boréale #mireille caquet #jean duparc #Zoé Lee #science kids mlb ocs #Star wars #family guy #mlb incorrect quotes

9 notes · View notes

grizzlyofthesea · 1 year

Text

Original Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: ~"Me and My Friends Being Stupid" Edition~

Preface: One of my weird habits is to take my fandoms and "assign" myself and my friends to characters within the series. I have, of course, done this with Rise (one guess as to who I am). The following incorrect quotes are inspired by stupid things that my friends and I have done together, with the character roles based on my little "assignments." Enjoy.

Mikey, reading a book across the room from Leo:

Leo: *throws his wallet at Mikey*

Mikey: OW!!! What the heck, man?!

Leo: I'm sorry! I just wanted to get your attention!

Mikey: ...And you didn't think to just walk up to me and tap me on the shoulder or something?

Leo:

April: I know I have to go back to class tomorrow, but for now, I'm just glad I get to chill with you guys.

Donnie, pouring cold water into a cup of Kraft macaroni and cheese: You can say that again.

April:

Donnie:

Raph: ...You okay there?

Donnie: ...I thought cold water would work the same as hot water. I don't know why.

Donnie: *driving the rest of the Mad Dogs to Dollar General in the Turtle Tank*

Raph: Whoa... Donnie, how are you doing that?

Donnie: Doing what?

Raph: Your speedometer's at 45 and just...staying there.

Donnie: Uh... I'm following the speed limit. Is this not what happens when you drive?

Raph: Well, uh--

Leo, in a resigned and slightly fearful tone: No. It's not.

The Mad Dogs: *having a Nerf (not strictly Nerf brand) battle*

Mikey, running around like a madman: AAAAAAAH! Ahahahaha!

Leo: *steps in front of Mikey with a fully-loaded Sidewinder* Any last words, Michael?

Mikey: Aah, I don't know--!!!

Donnie: *fires at Leo from across the room with an Exterminator, just barely missing him due to the dart curving in the air*

Leo: AAAH!

Mikey: *takes out a very cleverly hidden Jolt, then fires at Leo's leg*

Leo: Nooooooo! *dramatically pretends to die*

Mikey: ...Huh. I guess I don't need to think of any last words after all!

April, texting Leo: "Hey, you wanna come to dinner?"

Leo, knowing full well that she means "with the rest of us": "o//////o"

April: "Bruh"

April: *shuffling things around under Mikey's bed*

Mikey: *enters the room* ...Uh, hey. What are you doing?

April: Nothing...~

Mikey: ...Are you hiding another bag of cookies under my bed...?

April:

Mikey:

April:

Mikey: ...April, I swear to Pizza Supreme in the Sky--

Raph and Donnie, playing Cuphead together: *fighting Cagney Carnation*

Donnie, playing as Cuphead: *gets hit by a stray seed for the fourth time in a row* AAH! No...!

Raph, playing as Mugman: It's okay, I've got you! *tries to parry Cuphead's soul, but fails because it's flying upward too fast*

Donnie: Avenge me, brother...!

Raph: Oh, you bet I will. This stupid flower's going DOWN!

#rottmnt incorrect quotes #source: original #me and my friends #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the tmnt #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise mikey #rise leo #rise april #rise april o'neil #rise donnie #rise raph

19 notes · View notes

owlixx · 1 year

Text

Mega Man ZX Advent Thoughts

Overall, positive

I felt like 90% of the transformations were too situational to be fun to use

The plant, the crab, the dinosaur, the bee, etc

Fittingly, I ended up mostly only using Models ZX and H just like last game, just like I would’ve predicted

HOW is the spinning slash still so powerful???

from watching speedrun sir Zero 1-4, it seems like each game nerfed the OP strat of the last game but not here

I got 0 chips but I at least got 2 life upgrades and a sub tank

Side content is actually easier to find and keep track of in this game admittedly

Really enjoyed seeing the ZX protag

I was sad that fairy leviathan was swapped back to a boy after being one of the very few female characters in the series

I felt even more detached from the elemental system in this game

Did they just…never think to add another element? In six games?

Like, I think they made the plant boss lightning just so he’d be weak to fire.

This game really did feel like a monkey’s paw of me wishing that Model L didn’t stick out like a sore thumb last game

I think having to transform between 20 characters makes it clunkier.

I would’ve much preferred for 4 different transformations to get multiple layers of upgrades so that each had as well-rounded a move set by the end as Zero 3/4

The map was better

Having a map at all on the bottom screen was better

It still drove me INSANE wanting to play as Model H but losing my map every time I did that

Unlocking new models should’ve just unlocked new tabs on the map instead of forcing you to lose the map as certain characters

I absolutely hate the scrapyard and I can’t believe I went back for a life upgrade

The plot, again, was just okay…

I think something is lost in localization because it all seemed so ill-defined and nebulous

God, it would’ve been nice if they had just not included that secret ensign cliffhanger, huh?

No music stood out to me this time

It was fun to see recurring features/details from ZX like the chandelier

I struggled with some platforming, I think

Much preferred the fast travel system here compared to ZX

I did play this one with the bottom screen actually visible

I will say that I feel like this map was less Metroidvania than the last one

Hardest boss was the weird green furnace that strangles you with vines, hated that guy

My headcanon is that Wily, Weil, and Albert are all somehow the same person.

I did have several screens in this game that just felt really good to execute cleanly, like more than usual

For some reason, I really hated the UI on the model switching. I was always getting confused about which one was selected and which way I was spinning the wheel. And a grid would’ve worked way better (I know it’s a grid on the touch screen)

Somehow energy crystals were even less useful in this game, easily the least useful currency of any mega man game I’ve played

Honestly, I missed having overdrives

I did use giga crush to start basically every boss fight

Got the final boss first try, although I did have to use a sub tank and I did play on casual mode

What even is a maverick at this point? Do we even see one in either of this games?

For the ZX subseries as a whole, I really like a lot of the gameplay concepts but I feel like the execution is a little lacking and I would’ve loved to see a third game.

For example, I really popped off for the finale of Zero 4 and ended up getting attached to the four guardians, but none of the original characters or moments in ZX(A) are nearly as memorable

I cannot believe that technically Zero (as model Z) ONCE AGAIN stayed behind on a floating base that was sinking

Swords > guns still

I just felt real gross every time I had to do one of the transformation gimmicks, like climbing vines or “docking”. I found myself trying to find ways around having to do them

I felt like it was kind of a waste to not use L/R or two of the face buttons to hotswap forms, since that was a staple of the X series

The cutscenes again looked amazing, it’s so cool to get to see it almost “behind the scenes”

I played with remastered voice acting, which I almost felt like was a mistake. The voice actors seem like they are being deliberately directed to overact so that it comes through when it’s bit crushed, so it sounds extra silly without the compression. May be why I had a hard time taking the plot seriously.

I did appreciate that human form still featured a gun, and that you were less often forced into it

I also appreciated the length tutorial and movelists for each transformation. As a kid I know that would’ve really helped me ease in to it.

I do kind of want to go back and play as Grey, having played as Ashe. I think it’s really cool that there’s an actual gameplay difference.

Side note: this means only 3 mega man’s left! 9, 10, and 11! 9 and 10 should be pretty quick since they’re styled after the original trilogy, but I’m not quite sure what to expect from 11. I’m really looking forward to playing all three games and then having my life back! Despite that sentiment, it really has been an incredible experience getting to see so many years of gaming history back to back. It’s hard to appreciate anyone one of these games without playing the others first, and I’m really glad to be having this experience when I am.

#mega man #Ds #mega man ZX #mega man ZX advent #capcom

4 notes · View notes

geaibleu-gaming · 1 year

Text

people really getting mad about almost all Legacies being nerfed huh

Like we knew this was coming for a loooong time, get good (and learn how to use your goddam perk cards)

(I have some Legacies myself so don't @ me, someone has already done that lol)

#text #fo76 #im probably gonna fall back on melee #one of my legacies was a gift from another player so it's a bit sad #but at least the game will be a bit more balanced

1 note · View note

itsthemysterykids · 2 years

Note

Family Guy Star Wars Quotes?

Dipper: *recording his message on Raz2-D2* Help me, Ford-Wan Kenobi. you're my only hope. All right, now what do I click?

Raz2-D2: Click "Preferences".

Dipper: Okay, I clicked "Preferences".

Raz2-D2: Now go to "Default Media Browser".

Dipper: Okay. There's a little hourglass and it's-it's not letting me do anything. It-it says "Buffering", what is that?

Raz2-D2: Just give it a minute.

Dipper: All I'm trying to do is make an MPEG.

Raz2-D2: All I'm trying to do is tell you to wait a minute.

Dipper: Okay, relax.

Raz2-D2: Now click, "Import Video File".

Dipper: All right. It's telling me I have to download RealPlayer 7.

Raz2-D2: You know what? I'll just bring it to him myself.

—

Mabel Skywalker: Well I guess I'll go and bulls-eye some wamp rats with my T-16.

Lili-3PO: You kill small animals for fun?! That's the first indication of a serial killer, you freak!

Mabel Skywalker: There's two suns and no guys my age here! What the hell am I supposed to do?!

—

Mabel: Is it a fast ship?

Norman Solo: Are you kiddin'? It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!

Mabel: Um, isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time?

Norman: Chewie, take these guys to the ship and get her ready.

Neilbacca: *makes Chewbacca's trademark gargling roar for a second, then spits out water in a nearby sink* Always gargle before a take-off. Wocka-wocka! Alright, let's go.

—

Wybie Vader: So, Ford-Wan, we meet again. What part of "Stay 50 yards away at all times" don't you understand?! *Ford-Wan activates his lightsaber, which instantly turns flaccidi

Ford-Wan Kenobi: Shit.

Wybie Vader: Your powers are weak, old man!

—

Raz2-D2: *opens a hatch and shoots down a TIE fighter with a pistol* YEA-HEAH!!! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitch!

—

Dipper: Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!

Mabel: Whoa! Whoa!

Norman: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!

—

Wybie Vader: Oh, come on, Mabel, come join the Dark Side! It's really cool!

Mabel: Well I don't know. Whose on it?

Wybie Vader: Well um... there's me, the Emperor, this guy Scott. You'll like him, he's awesome...

—

*Wybie Vader arrives on the second Death Star with a bunch of passengers*

Wybie Vader: Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just...I don't understand why...I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.

*Dib as Moff Jerjerrod enters*

Dib Jerjerrod: Hi, Darth. You got any bags, or did you leave Mrs. Vader at home?

Wybie Vader: Wow, it's you? Are we already out of our own characters?

—

Lili3-PO: This is insane Han, they're gonna find us here.

Neilbacca: Yeah, and even if they don't, where are we gonna hide out after this?

Norman Solo: Hey, what about Lando?

Prince Dipper: The Lando System?

Norman Solo: Lando's not system, he's a black guy. In fact, I think he might be the only black guy in the galaxy.

Neilbacca: Huh, let's hope right?

Norman Solo/Lili3-PO/Prince Dipper: WHOA!!!

—

Mabel: A brother! Who is it?

Ford: Who do you think it is? Who's the only goddamn guy in the galaxy who looks like you?

Mabel: Dipper...

—

Wybie Vader: Join us, Mabel. Turn to the backside of the force!

Mabel Skywalker: What?

Wybie Vader: Dark side-turn-turn to the-long day!

—

Emperor Coraline: Welcome, young Skywalker.

Wybie Vader: Why, thank you!

Emperor Coraline: Not you!

Wybie Vader: I'm so embarrassed.

Emperor Coraline: I thought you should know, young Skywalker, that your friends are walking into a trap.

Mabel: Wow. You're white? You totally sounded black on the phone.

Emperor Coraline: Silence! You will turn to the dark side, and your precious rebellion will be destroyed. *Mockingly* Oh! I'm afraid the shield generator will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

Mabel: Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.

—

Wybie: Oh, my God! I meant to hit you in the shoulder, and that whole thing just fell! Did you see that?

Coraline: What?

Wybie: That whole thing just fell!

Coraline: How?

Wybie: I don't know! She was up there like, "I can't do this," I threw the thing, and I just meant to hit her in the arm, and then the whole thing fell!

Coraline: Well, that's good, right? We want her hurt.

Wybie: Are you using your brain?! We're lucky if we come out of this without a lawsuit!

—

Neil: Hey, bitches! I just killed, like, fifty stormtroopers!

Norman: That thing is really cool!

Neil: Damn right it is! See that squirrel over there? Hi, little squirrel. *Fires at the squirrel* Ooh!

Norman: Hey, why don't you blast open this door, and then we can...

Neil: Hey, a butterfly! Look at those beautiful wings flapping. But uh-oh, here comes ka-slice! *Blasts the butterfly* Whoa! What do we have here? A fully formed beehive! Must have taken months to build that guy. Well, guess what?

*Neilbacca lasts the beehive, and the bees retaliate*

Neil: Oh, God! *Runs away screaming as the bees sting him*

Dipper: … Should we help him?

Norman: Eh.

—

Mabel: I'm a Jedi, like my father before me!

Wybie: All right, let's everybody just calm the fuck down.

—

Mabel: Oh, yeah? You and what lightning hands?

Wybie: Oh! Now you've done it.

*Mabel screams as Coraline shoots at her with her lightning*

Coraline: Yeah! I'm a bad guy! Yeah! Yeah! How about that, huh? Look at that! Look what I can do! Yeah! In your fucking face!

Mabel: Father, please!

Wybie: "Please"! You know what? You have nice manners. I'm so delighted that Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen took the time to teach you nice manners. And just for that, I'm going to help you out here. *Uses his powers to throw Coraline off the railing*

Coraline: *Screaming*

Wybie: That's the power of "please," kids.

—

Wybie: Mabel, help me get this mask off. Let me look on you with my own eyes, father to daughter.

*As Mabel tries to remove his helmet, she inadvertently snaps his neck, killing him*

Mabel: … Ahhh! Oh, no! He's dead because of what the Emperor did a while ago! I better take his body! *Drags Wybie’s body up the ramp* Just 'cause.

—

Wybie Skywalker: What the hell, man? I was going to make it!

Mabel Skywalker: Thanks for watching over me and keeping me safe.

Wybie Skywalker: Fuck you, you murdered me, you ass!

#coraline #mystery kids #paranorman #gravity falls #psychonauts #the mystery kids #ask stuff #answered ask #star wars #incorrect quotes

2 notes · View notes