#new romcom genre just dropped

[ladysophiebeckett]

need to discuss the hallmark movie 'just one kiss' starring santino fontana and krysta rodriguez, now streaming on peacock. it has the most out of pocket ending i have ever seen in a hallmark movie. i am still reeling from it.

clearly this movie was made so fontana could sing every like, 15 minutes. (im assuming it was part of his negotiation). anyway, the movie makes you think their mother's are setting them up secretly. you see them plan a meet cute, leaving some apartment notice at female protagonists place so that she and her daughter move into his apartment building (she's going through a divorce), then you see the mom's place little ads under their doors for free cheesecakes, so that they run into each other later that night.

a bunch of other romcom stuff happens (misunderstanding and miscommunication). whatever. they get together and then he says 'my mom would have loved you' and then she says 'my mom would have been crazy about you'\'i wish i could have known her', 'yeah me too'.

that's right. the moms were DEAD the ENTIRE TIME. even tho there's a scene where the mom is in the room with her daughter and granddaughter--which explains why female protag couldn't find a sitter. bc her mom was dead.

its ends with the mom's saying 'we did it' and then they leave the movie theater and apparently the exit is heaven.

i can't stop thinking about it.

[dokries]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request a secretly dating in a friend group fic possibly with the prompt “Not sure I can go the whole day without kissing you." Or like they get caught by someone else in the friend group. I was thinking either Seungkwan or Hao. A little angsty/ comforting and pretty fluffy! I love all of your drabbles they’re so fun to read. Thank you!

no need to hide

pairing: boo seungkwan x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comfort, established (secret) relationship

word count: 805

warnings: reader feeling a little insecure, a few kisses, chan is bullied as always

author note: thank you for requesting anon ! it means so much to me that you love my work 🫶 honestly this was a really cool idea to write, and i hope you like it :> (let me know if you do by dropping an ask!)

masterlist

you and seungkwan haven’t told the others about the fact that you’re dating just yet, and you know he wishes he could be open about it.

after all, he loves public affection, even with just his friends. you’ll always see him hanging off of vernon’s shoulder or holding joshua’s hand—or yours but that’s something he can only do in private. he would rather be loud and proud of his love for you, and not have to keep it hidden in glances and smiles across the room.

when you told seungkwan that you didn’t want to tell the others, he had asked you why, adjusting his shoulder so your head was more comfortable as you watched whatever romcom he had put on for your first inaugural date night.

“i just…listen,” you paused the movie, sitting upright so you could face your boyfriend. “i do love you but i don’t want anything to happen in case we find out that we don’t want to date anymore. like—of course, i don’t want us to break up but we’re still so new.”

seungkwan hesitated before reaching out to hold your hands in his, saying your name softly. “yeah, i get what you mean but…i hope you know that i don’t think we’ll end up like that, and the guys wouldn’t hate us for it or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

you sighed, moving back to rest your head on his shoulder once again, and he placed a kiss on your temple. “your feelings are valid, trust me. so maybe we can see in a few weeks—or months, if that’s what you prefer, sweetie?”

you nodded and he smiled, putting the movie back on.

right now though, he can see you don’t want to be at seungcheol’s apartment with everyone else. you look uncomfortable beside him so he silently takes your hand, and your shoulders immediately are more relaxed as you squeeze back a thanks.

as the night progresses, you seem to feel better, and he makes a mental note to question you about what’s wrong later, when they’re not around everyone else. that time comes earlier than he thought it would though, as you message him after saying you were going to get a drink of water.

you ❙

kwannie can you come to the kitchen?

we need to talk

my boo 🫶 ❙

on my way ♡

he excuses himself from his conversation with vernon to follow you, and he smiles nervously at you near the sink.

“sweetie, is something wrong?” he asks, taking your hand again.

you shake your head before changing your mind and nodding. “i uh…i have something i need to say.”

seungkwan looks at you worriedly, and squeezes your hand, urging you to go on. “what’s up?”

you quickly kiss him on the cheek, and grin at his shocked face. “i just needed to see you so we could, you know…be lovey dovey.”

seungkwan smiles back at you before kissing you on the lips, and tucking your hair behind your ear.

“i get it.” he smirks, before whispering, “i’m not sure if i could go the whole day without kissing you at least once.”

you giggle and he moves to hug you, and continues to litter your face with kisses until you hear a clang, and you both look up, alarmed at the faces of minghao, and seokmin, who just dropped his plate on the ground—thankfully, it’s made of plastic, so it only bounces off the hardwood floor.

“um…” seungkwan starts, looking at you again before up at his two friends, gulping.

you break away from seungkwan, and without thinking, intertwine your hands again, taking a protective stance.

seungkwan looks at you in confusion as you start to speak. “uh, we have something to tell you.”

minghao raises an eyebrow at your hands. “clearly.”

seungkwan grins, squeezing your hand. “we’re dating!” he looks at you giddily before running out of the kitchen to the living room, where most of the guys stare at you—except jeonghan because he’s napping. he’s seungkwan’s roommate, so he probably already knows anyway, and was keeping it a secret for the two of you.

he looks at you and melts, and everyone in the room groans, already knowing how lovestruck seungkwan’s been since the beginning, even before you started dating.

“finally!” chan says, holding his hands up to the ceiling. “thank you!”

seungkwan glares at chan before turning back to you, your friend group already moving on—to be honest, they already kind of knew; the two of you aren’t as slick as you think you are.

your boyfriend boops your nose before making space for the two of you on the couch to cuddle, kicking chan off despite his protests.

you kiss seungkwan on the cheek, and smile. “hey, at least we don’t have to hide anymore, right?”

[scintillasofbeomgyu]

⟢ to swallow a star | c.bg

pairing: wizard!beomgyu x apprentice!f!reader. genres: fluff, romcom, fantasy. wc: 1,7k. warnings: this is so silly and unedited 💀. an: i was trying to make a point with the last paragraph but my brain isn’t working, but i am a howl girlie so just pretend u get it 🤣 found the last photo on pinterest with no credits, so credit to the original artist 🫶🏻

it is late afternoon down by lilac lane. the spring sunlight douses the cottage in gold, lighting up the grassy hills and fields, glittering off a nearby rushing creek. it allows warmth to seep in through the windows.

normally, on a cozy sunday such as this, you would be curled up on the soft upholstery armchair in the sitting room, with tabby purring in your lap and a volume of the Wizard Howl’s Why One should Not Swallow Stars series between your fingers. But today you were not, and it vexes you greatly to think of it. rather, you are standing on the tips of your toes, leaning over the sink, to squint through the kitchen window.

a great deal of time had passed since you saw the Wizard Beomgyu, under whom you were serving an apprenticeship. he had disappeared into the fields behind the cottage earlier that very afternoon, promising to teach you a new charm once he had returned. and this promise had pleased you.

for the first few weeks in his care, you and beomgyu had gotten along remarkably well. he would teach you spells and enchantments, you would prepare meals and you would share chores and tending to the cottage equally. in your free time you would tag along on his jobs in town, or you would read and he would paint.

but in the next few weeks that took you up to the current third month at the cottage, his behavior had changed drastically. the good-natured, occasional prankster of a man had reverted to a sulking, misbehaving teenager who had not taught you a thing in days.

so the thought of his unhappiness being cured and him now having the time to teach you, enlivened the witch in the exasperated nurse you had become. but that excitement had long since met its end. and as the clock struck five o’clock, your blood boiled.

a flash of green sweeps through the open window and you drop onto your heels. tabby lifts her head from where she had sat napping between the potted plants near you on the sink, one eye opening slowly to follow the squawking bird.

“toto,” you say, relieved to see the wizard’s familiar. you follow him into the sitting room, where he glides around once more before taking his perch. “where have you been? where is your master?”

he squawks. “miss (y/n), master requests your presence at poppy hill.”

“poppy hill?” you say in surprise, “i thought he was in the fields. is something the matter?” then your eyes shine, “is it time for my lesson at last?”

toto lets out a nervous squawk. “you should take your leave before last light, miss.”

“will you guide me to him, toto?” you ask politely. the parrot nods his head before hopping from his perch and sailing through the kitchen window once more.

you tighten your boots quickly, pausing only to check on tabby. “are you coming, girl?”

her countenance was such that, if she were a person, you’d imagine she would sigh unenthusiastically. but she nevertheless hopped off and ran after you at your heels.

you follow toto deep into the fields and up onto poppy hill where the Witch Karina grew and nurtured her genus of wild flowers. it pales you to imagine he had spent the entirety of his afternoon here, but you perk up when toto leads you down the windward side of the hill.

you come to a stop as you find the Wizard Beomgyu seated amongst red common poppies, the last light catching his features and making them glow. the gentle breeze brushes through his long, golden brown hair as he soaks it up. when the light disappears behind the mountains at last, toto settles atop his head and his eyes flutter open. he greets toto with a smile, then turns to you and his eyes light up. you gulp.

“(y/n)!” he says, climbing to his feet. as his hands clear the grass and dirt from his trousers, he starts toward you and continues, “i’m glad you could make it. i was just talking to karina and—”

you fix your hands on your hips and a severe expression on your face. he stops, fear in his eyes. you march toward him and he shrieks. “where have you been! you promised you would teach me today, beomgyu! what is the meaning of this!” you say, poking a finger into his chest.

“i was—”

“i have been patient! so patient with you these weeks and you go and leave me at noon until evening! what have you to say for yourself, sir!”

his frown morphs into a smile and you are simply flabbergasted. but before you can berate him further, he takes your hand into his gently. he presses his lips to your knuckles and then rubs his thumb over them gently.

“i have left you? why, i could never do such a thing my dear,” he says and your face burns red.

“wha– wai– i beg your pardon!” you exclaim. but he maintains his hold on your hand and leads you further down the hill until you reach the middle of the slope. “do you think you can treat me like those swooning ladies in town!”

the sky is now dark and the stars are twinkling above, the moonlight shimmering silver against the blades of grass beneath your feet. you try and use the fragrance of the flowers and the earth to distract you from how warm and soft his hand feels, but then he takes your other hand and pulls you toward him.

“there is going to be a meteor shower tonight.” he says excitedly, as if it explains anything. but you are much too distracted by his closeness and his touch and his prettiness to argue. “i have planned it all with Karina. she will—“

you finally manage to yank your hands from his. “i do not care to be in your presence now, sir. you refuse to explain your behavior! i am your apprentice, you are supposed to teach me. if our arrangement— if my company is not to your liking anymore simply say so and I will take my leave.”

you start your walk back up the hill, which, being now by your full senses, proved to be a lot more taxing than the journey down it. it only aggravates you more. but you gather your dress in your hands and push on. he rushes after you.

“i will swallow a star!”

you stop in your tracks. you turn to him. “what?”

“i will swallow a star,” he repeats, folding his arms across his chest with a resolved expression on his face. “so that i may compete with that pretty boy you like so much.”

you blink. “compete? with that pretty boy? who– The Wizard Howl? Pendragon?”

he does not answer, but turns his face up to the night sky with a pout. your jaw drops in absolute bafflement. then you burst out laughing. his cheeks turn pink.

“oh, beomgyu,” you sigh, taking his face into your hands and turning it to you. “howl’s books are about why we should not contract deals with demons for power; his own autobiography. and you are a powerful wizard of your own accord, why should you need to be like him?”

toto squawks. “that is what i told him, Miss.”

“you shut up,” he snaps, swatting his familiar away. when your hands drop from his face, he returns them to their place and he leans into your touch, still pouting. “but you like him so much. you’re always reading those things and talking to tabby and mrs rochester from the bakery about him.”

you grin, a blush glowing in your cheeks. “beomgyu, the wizard howl is a happily married man with a sweet two-year old son. the story of his life is remarkable to me, so I read about him.”

he stills. “really?”

you drop your head and giggle. when you look up again, he is watching you with a look in his eyes that makes your chest flutter.

“and what about you?” you say, fixing your hands on your hips again. “what were you doing all day with Miss Karina?”

he perks up. “oh! i spent the afternoon trying to convince her to let us borrow her field for the evening. she agreed on the condition that i promenade with her in town tomorrow.”

you glare at him and smack his shoulder. “And you said yes? i cannot believe you! courting couples promenade together! i—“

he hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his chest. “i am a cunning wizard, darling. i may have pulled one on her,” he shrugs, “besides. how could i dream of courting anyone else when you are right here.”

then his eyes flit to your lips, asking, and when you nod, he takes them between his own in a sweet kiss.

when you break apart your breath is shaky and you think that if he should remove his arm from your waist you would fall straight to the ground. he smirks, as if he reads your mind.

“sh- she’s going to curse you once she figures it out. d-do you not know of howl and the witch of the waste?”

at that moment the meteor shower begins, like glittering diamonds shooting across the heavens. you stare up in awe. tabby meows and rubs her head against your legs, while toto perches on beomgyu’s shoulder.

he gently takes your chin between his fingers and draws your attention back to him.

“do you know of the wizard beomgyu and the apprentice who stole his heart?” he says softly, bringing your face closer and closer and closer. “they say she was was vivacious,” he kisses one corner of your mouth, “unyielding,” then the other, “a powerful witch in the making who was not wise of what she was doing before it was far too late.”

your breathing is heavy and your eyes hooded, “w-what happened to them? the wizard and the apprentice?”

his lips curl into a soft smile. “the apprentice and her wizard’s fates became inseparable, and they were destined to love one another in this and every lifetime.”

he pulls you in once more, this kiss much different from the first. he holds you impossibly close, a hand buried in your hair and the other lifting you up to his lips. it is enrapturing and toe-curling and your insides melt.

you decided then and there that the Wizard Howl Jenkins Pendragon was a charlatan. for if this is what it felt like to swallow a star, to give your heart to another and share a life, you would choose it with beomgyu, every single day.

scintillasofbeomgyu © all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost in any way.

[piakae]

babys-breath ☆— k. jungwon

synopsis ➔ jungwon decides to make a bouquet for you.

pairing ➔ florist!jungwon x fem!reader

genre ➔ fluff!!!

word count ➔ idk why i put this here

warnings ➔ stressed jungwon, incest NOT BETWEEN THEM OMG

a/n ➔ can’t spell jungwon without win. or whatever

The oak wood table with splinters and thorns sticking out of it rests under Jungwon’s gloved hands, flowers of all shapes, sizes, and shades popping out of various baskets around him. His laptop, that was over decorated with brand stickers, was displaying an unknown website’s article about flower’s meanings and messages.

You’d think he knew all about it, working as a florist and all. But when he curated custom orders and new arrangements for the week, he either copied photos or did exactly what the customer wanted.

Something about this arrangement caused a drop of sweat to appear, his fingers to rake through his already messy hair, and hands to shake with uncertainty.

It was for you.

Only yesterday were you watching a romcom in class, fangirling over the beautiful bouquet that the male lead gave to the female lead, all while Jungwon was critiquing the colours and choice of flowers that the man chose.

The boy on the screen, his name was Tim, totally blew his first confession, something Jungwon had visually cringed at.

You blow some hair out of your eyes, the strands distracting you from the drama, also leaning in closer to the screen. Jungwon’s cologne tricked you into thinking that’s how the male lead smelt, and the smell of your shampoo tricked Jungwon into thinking that’s how the female lead smelt.

‘Tim, I told you that we can’t be together.’

‘Why? Tiffany, you are the only one for me.’

‘Tim–‘

‘Tiffany, please–‘

You both inch closer, practically connected at the hip.

‘We’re cousins, Tim!’

Jungwon smiled at the memory of your disgusted face, deciding that he needed to get this bouquet over and done with before the sun went down, hoping to get it to you that afternoon. He let out an anxious sigh and eyed the several flowers surrounding him, feeling like he was about to be ransacked by some daisies and roses.

His eyes shined against the sunset cutting through the stores windows, a perfect bouquet held in front of him. It was the fifth one he made. First was too yellow, second was too big. Third was just sad (he then decided to buy a coffee), fourth was too happy. Fifth was insanely large.

This one was perfect. Yellow, orange, pink, white flowers perfectly clustered and spread, wrapped in newspaper because he ran out of plastic wrap and tissue paper on his fourth try. Jungwon bit his lip, nodding his head in pride.

He grabbed his bag with his fresh clothes, locked the store, then unlocked it because he forgot the bouquet, then locked it again.

“Jungwon?” Your voice rings out, pausing him in his steps. He shoved the bouquet behind him and looked up at you nervously. Fiddling with the stems behind him, he turns.

“Hey Y/n.” As you look him up and down, never seeing him in his uniform before, he suddenly realised he may have others things to be concerned about. “I’ve just- uh- finished my shift.”

You seemed to be returning from the library, still clad in your school uniform. Still beautiful to him.

You nod with a small smile, leaning to peak behind him. A baby’s breath flopped down, as did you smile.

“Are those flowers for someone?”

“What flowers?”

“The ones behind your back?”

He looked over his shoulder to the bouquet, and put his lips into a thin line. Your hair had perfectly fallen, one piece of it in your face that you promptly blew away. It reminded him of the drama, your concentration, your reaction to the disastrous confession. He did not want to be the Tim in this situation, especially the cousin part.

“These… are for you.”

You blinked, “What?”

“You liked the bouquet from that drama we were watching, the one with the cousins- you know how it was like terrible and weirdly incest-“

“-Yes! Yes I know, Won.”

He sighed and smiled, “So I made you this.” Jungwon brought it out from his back and nervously darted his eyes between the flowers and your reaction. A soft smile crept up onto your eyes, a shade of pink painting your cheeks.

“Thank you Jungwon.”

You stepped towards him and took the bouquet, smelling them, eyes glittering.

“This is amazing. You’re way better than Tim.” Your heart thumped at his laughter, and Jungwon looks down to where you’ve slipped your fingers with his too smoothly, blushing like crazy. “And I’ll give you extra brownie points if you pay for my muffin, we’re going to the café.”

@raevyng @enhacolor

[kyurizeu]

Dangerous game 3

(I’M FINALLY BACK OG MY GOD)

Pairing: Jungwon X Reader!Fem

Genre: Smut & fluffyish

Sypnosis: PART 3 OF DG

After you got caught with Jungwon he wants you to not feel uncomfy with his friends so you try to hang out with them but it doesnt really turn out as you intended… (this is not the last part🤭)

Warnings: Oral (m received), pet names, praises, kisses, marking, lingerie, grinding, making out a bit… (lmk if i missed something)

Wc: 1,2K

Order: all pics -> text

————————————————————

(I wrote this while watching love is blind s.4 so i had a REEEALLLY romance vibe and in love typa vibe)

THIS IS INSPIRED BY A POST I FORGOT THE WRITER

Pics are in the end of the page read the FIRST!!!!

As soon as you arrived to their dorm you rang the doorbell, instantly hearing loud footsteps running to the door.

“Y/N” Jungwon yelled opening the door and you instantly saw the excitement in his glowing soft eyes as he placed his hands on your jaw pulling you into the most soft and loving kiss. Pulling away from you he took a quick look at you up and down smiling. “You look so so so pretty.” He was so mesmerised by the way you looked. Your hair was curled, lipgloss was shining, dimples appearing on your cheeks and you were slightly blushing. “Thank you, Jungwon”. After you walked inside into their dorm Jays face popped into the doorframe whilst he was sitting on the couch and he gave you a quick “Hey y/n”.

“Hii!” You smiled back.

“So jungwon…” he gave you a quick hum as an answer “where. Is. The ice cream?” You smile at him plopping onto the couch next to Jay.

“You didn’t seriously come here for the ice cream..” he lifted your chin up with his finger playfully pouting.

“No i actually did” u cooed back at him sarcastically.

“Well bad news sunoo ate it all” Jay blurted out but kept his eyes locked onto his phone

“WHAT WHYY” Your jaw dropped and you got up to open the freezer.

“It was mint choco so…”

“Oh… ew… so what do i do now ugh..”

“Kiss me” jungwon leaned forward like he usually does and pulled you once again into a kiss but this one was oddly different.. even… lustful. “Ugh get a room idiots” jay cut the kiss with his comment

“Jungwonah! is a romance movie alright with you? I found this new movie-“ Sunoo walked into the kitchen, taking his eyes off of his phone and seeing you to super close to eachothers faces cut him off. “Y/n?? Youre here..?” You feel a little uncomfy because you dont know if he’s being unfriendly or not. “Oh yes.. i-is there a problem..?” You feel a bit concerned and look up at jungwon who is still holding tightly onto your waist.

“Yeah well we were all supposed to watch a movie together tonight..” Sunoo mumbles but doesnt really seem to care and just sips his drink.

“Oh i- i can leave i’m sorry!”

“Dont be silly you can watch with us!” Jungwon pressed his finger against your lips earning a disgusted groan from sunoo “Okay ONLY if you stop that” he even circled his finger pointing around us.

Fast forward a couple hours Niki, heeseung and Jake came back and as they saw you sitting on the couch nuzzling into Jungwon who was munching popcorn, they didnt even want to ask and just sat down to watch the movie.

You all watched the most boring cheesy romcom movie of all time and still somehow Sunoo was constantly giggling and commenting on it, Niki was probably already asleep, Sunghoon was next to Sunoo getting punched each time a cheesy scene took place and Jungwon was holding you on his lap playing softly with your arms in his.

When a spicy scene finally took place you unconsciously and accidentally grind on Jungwons thigh making him look at you a bit shocked. After you realised what you just did you felt your whole face burning red feeling scared to turn your head to Jungwon. His hands slowly travelled their way up your body from your hips to your waist only to press you down on his thigh again. You definitely couldn’t do this especially in front of the boys so you excused yourself to the bathroom but didn’t quite make it there.

In the kitchen you felt a hand grab your waist roughly and before you knew it, it was round 3.

Jungwon pulled u up on the counter and sat you down never breaking the steamy kiss.

“Mmh… Y/nn… You’re playing…. A dangerous game…” he mumbled in between kisses as it transformed into a heavy makeout sesh.

He kissed down your neck surely leaving big marks tracing down to your boobs. He saw what you wore underneath your clothes, which was lingerie that you knew he would like. He gave you a smirk which also ha d a hint of disbelief hidden in it. He dragged you into his bedroom and locked the door. “J-Jungwon i’m not so sure if we can do this… your members are here.” You tried to tell him but he kept roaming his hands all over your body making it harder and harder for you to try to stop him. He undresses your clothes leaving you in the lingerie you wore just for him. “Mnnghh!!” Your mouth let out the most intense Whine as you felt his hard length press on your cunt through his pants. “W-Won…” you placed your hand on his chest to stop him from grinding on you again. He hummed in response looking up at you with those damn cat eyes filled with lust. “C-Can i give you head..?” You blushed and looked away from him. His face was only 2 inches away from yours and you saw he smirked. You were suddenly facing his crotch and he was standing up next to the bed. “All yours sweetie..” You blushed even more and sat him down onto the bed getting on your knees to the floor. “I-i havent done this before.” You say shyly as he pulls his sweats down a little revealing his length making your eyes follow his pink tip swinging and slapping against his abs. Your mouth waters at the sight. “Go ahead sweetie.. just.. dont use your teeth.”

You didn’t even think twice before wrapping your small hands around it and pressing the base before taking the tip into your mouth. Kitty licking it made Jungwon Groan sweet sounds that turned you on so much that you just dove in and took him deeper. He admired you struggling to take him inside of your mouth and he softly caressed the back of your head. “Thats my good girl grhh…” he played with your hair before gathering it into his fist for a ponytail. “A-aghh doing so good princess..” his eyes were travelling around your body in your lingerie and your tits bounding as you bobbed your head further and further down his cock. He started pushing your head deeper onto him making you gag around him but also bringing him closer to cumming. “J-just like that mmhm..” he started full on moaning and you got a little concerned about the others hearing him. He started to thrust into your mouth even quicker and you already felt hot liquid in your throat. “ANGHH— ah…” he came in your mouth pulling out of your mouth. “Now swallow baby” he leaned down and wipes your tears caressing your cheek. You swallowed keeping the most intense eye contact with Jungwon. His gaze was burning into you lustfully and lovingly whilst yours was shy and soft. “Good girl baby.” He kissed you once more and let go of your hair. “I’ll clean you up sweetie.” He wiped your face and put your hair into a bun. He gave you his biggest t-shirt and helped it on you. “Can you just sleep over here and let me cuddle you baby? I miss you” “mmh okay then but i need a drive to school tomorrow” He nodded and pulled you in his arms and jumped on the bed tickling your stomach.

“OPEN THE DOOR DUMBAAS” Jay was banging on the door.

#Taglist

@aerii1i @wonvnz @cha0thicpisces

@Kimiplx @xiaoderrrr @lmaomaolmwosksjxjdk

[eleni-cherie]

a thief's origin✨ || bts • kth - chapter 0.7

"you're afraid I won't wait." "I'm afraid you will."

a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.

© 2024 | eleni_cherie

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

»»»

30th December Barcelona, Spain

There was no trace of snow in the foreseeable time and Cassandra's already gloomy mood only dropped more as she averted her eyes from the grey buildings outside.

If it was cold, it should at least snow, she believed. But she knew something like this was impossible for a city right at the mediterranean sea. The only thing they got there was humidity and gusty winds.

It was the day before New Year's eve. The second-last day of the year. One day and eleven hours more and it'd be the next year already.

It was a strange feeling considering to her it didn't feel like a year had passed already. The only evidence it did being the coldness outside that had suddenly picked up in the last two weeks. 

She returned to study a patient's file. Today would be another double-shift. Could be worse, at least she wasn't working the next two days.

After asking one of the nurses to give the patient 150mg codeine, she finished her round right on time for her lunch break. Already spotting Stella and one of the assistent surgeons and Stella's on-off-crush, Julio, sitting at a table in the far back of the cafeteria and bickering over something as usual. And Cassandra gave them a quick wave, signalising she'd seen and would join them, before going to pick her lunch. Her stomach was already rumbling when a different kind of buzzing caught her attention then. It was the phone in her pocket.

doc (6:30am): happy birthday, wherever you are :)

cool guy (1:12pm): you remembered! cool guy (1:12pm): thanks :P

Her lips instinctively curled up. It was Taehyung. 

It had been a week since they'd last spoken, which wasn't surprising considering he had a different kind of busy life.

At least he took time to ressurface at all. Kind of like a penpal, where she had to wait for his letter to arrive and respond before having to wait yet again. Especially since they were indeed one-sided penpals with him sending her postcards from all the places he visited.

She was used to it, but that didn't mean she wasn't worrying a little whenever a longer period of time passed with no trace of him. Unpredictable things could always occur, despite him and his friends being unmatched in what they did.

doc (1:14pm): ofc i did :O

After typing in her quick reply, she shoved it back into her pocket when it started buzzing again. Perplexed by the unexpected incoming call, she hesitated for a moment before eventually accepting it.

"Hey." 

She inhaled with a smile. Something about his smooth voice greeting her so cheerfully always making her a little weak.

"Hey, your timing's as great as ever," she giggled when the line moved and she took a step forward. Hearing his surprised 'Oh?'.

"To what do I owe the honour of this call?"

Taehyung could hear the smirk all the way through the line. Laughing under his breath.

"What do you mean? It's my birthday after all. So I deserve actually hearing your birthday wishes."

She bit back a laugh, having missed his silliness. "Happy birthday, cool guy. Was that all you called for?"

"Almost," he said, his tone turning gentle then,"I also wanted to hear how you were doing."

"Well, I.." she began but paused. 'Fine' was her first instinct, however, she concluded he'd most likely see through her blatant lie, because in all honestly she wasn't doing fine at all. So she settled for a more vague response. "..I'm a little tired. But otherwise everything's fine. How's it there?" She knew he'd never tell her where exactly in the world he was currently at, so she didn't even attempted to find out.

"It's.. yeah, it's great. We're working on something.." His voice faded then and Cassandra was about to carry the conversation to the turn of the year, when he spoke up again. His concerned tone taking her aback."You sure everything's fine?"

She swallowed. No matter how hard she tried, she'd always be an open book to him it seemed. Even when he was miles away. 

No, she thought, nothing's fine. I almost lost a patient because of bureaucracy, almost messed up a chest tube on another one, haven't properly slept in days, I'm gonna spend the turn of the year all alone and I'm an idiot because I miss you. 

She couldn't bring herself to let any of these words slip from her lips though. She didn't feel like making him feel bad and pity her when he was who-knew-where in the world right now and couldn't do anything for her misery anyway. Besides, she also didn't want to embarrass herself.

"Yeah, it's just, you know, work. It's not always that easy." This wasn't even a lie. But she felt he still wasn't completely sold on it. 

"Hm, you sure that's all?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because work's always tough for you but you sound more distressed than usual."

She froze. Did she? She didn't even notice anymore, but others obviously did. Or at least, Taehyung did. So with a sigh she gave in, elaborating more after all. "It does take a toll on me. And tomorrow's New Year's eve, which I can't celebrate with my family and I have no plans, which could be regarded as sad and pitiful by some, but hey! At least I'm not working like some colleagues, so can't complain." Her casual laugh to gloss over her gloominess probably sounded forced. And she licked over her dry lips. "I just didn't want to dump everything on you.. I know you're busy with your own work." Another small giggle getting automatically added at the last words, another poor attempt to save her pride. "Anyway, it's also a shame you can't see your birthday gift, you know? It's pretty mad after all."

"A mad gift, huh?" He played along with her sudden change of topics. Although he could sense there was more to her previous words. "And what gift?"

The line moved and it was almost her turn at the registry, "Never heard of a surprise? You've got to wait until coming here again."

Taehyung scoffed playfully on the other line. "Oh, that's how it is?"

"Of course."

"Alright. I'll hurry up then, I guess."

»»»

31st December

Cassandra usually celebrated this day by playing cards and drinking with her family. Since it wasn't possible this year, she settled for eating a whole pizza by herself and watching one of her comfort shows. The perfect plan really.

It was past 10pm on New Year's Eve now and she was in the middle of her little rewatch party, when the sound of the door bell startled her and she paused the episode. 

Cassandra didn't expect seeing anyone that night. Especially since there were barely any hours left till the turn of the year.

A knock at the front door followed then, causing her to tense up even more. She wasn't a particularly fearful or easily scared person. However, due to the late hour and randomness her first instinct was to switch off all lights and remain quiet. Only when an annoyed and whiny: "Cas, open up already! It's cold!" was heard from behind the entrance door, her tense muscles finally relaxed.

The last person she had expected seeing standing in front of her door was Taehyung and yet, there he was. Doing just that with furrowed brows and an amused laugh.

"Were you hiding from me?"

"Wh.. no. No. Well, yeah, but I didn't know it was you," she defended herself with a small pout.

His cheeks were slightly flushed and raven hair tousled due to the harsh wind outside, hands shoved deeply into the pockets of his dark brown coat. He looked quite cuddly and inviting.

She instantly shook that thought away, though. Eyeing him suspiciously when also spotting the bare neck and open collar.

"And since when do you feel cold?" she sarcastically snorted then. A knowing smirk on her lips as she let him enter. Meeting his wide boyish grin.

"Maybe I fibbed a little there."

She laughed under her breath, shaking her head. "What are you even doing here? Thought you were working on a job."

"Well.." He let out an awkward laugh when a shiver crept up his skin. He might not freeze, but that didn't mean he wouldn't feel the coldness at all. Especially with the temperature difference inside there. "I don't know actually."

She took a step back to narrow her eyes at the taller man. A puzzled smile tucking on her lips as she tilted her head. "So did you just randomly come here all the way from wherevever you were?"

"It's just.." It sounded too silly, thinking about it now, but frankly, he simply had a feeling of her needing him. And he realised how completely irrational and odd it must sound if he said that out loud. So he stick with another excuse. "We were done with the job earlier than expected and wanted to take a little break, so.. might as well come to collect my birthday gift."

Cassandra blinked. Somehow she wasn't quite buying it. He never struck her as a guy who'd travel countries just for a simple gift. Especially since he should know it wasn't anything of value compared to the actual treasures they were hunting.

"Hope you don't have too high expectations of that gift, though," she mumbled with a coy smile as he followed her further inside, "Might get disappointed otherwise."

Taehyung shrugged with a cheerful, almost childlike grin. "A gift is a gift. I take what I get."

He observed her crunching down at other side of the living room to pick up a rather big square, wrapped in fancy paper, from her desk. She felt her fingers trembling all of a sudden, not having expected to see him this time around after all, so she hadn't had any time to mentally prepare to get embarrassed yet. And the few steps she walked back to him clearly weren't enough.

"It's nothing special, really. I mean, what do you get someone who can literally get anything he wants? But I hope it's not too terrible."

Cautiously, he accepted the object from her with a scowl. Her intention was to lower his expectations but all it did was hightening his curiosity, especially since he didn't have any clue what it could be. He'd appreciate it either way though, whatever it was.

"Happy belated birthday, Tae."

He tried not to rip the paper when opening it, but as it accidentally did, he gave up midway and just tore it off making Cassandra laugh amused at his childish eagerness. Only for her to bite down on her bottom lip and avoid his glance when he finally unwrapped it.

His expression softened, brown eyes grew round in astonishment.

"A painting." He looked up at her in awe. "You drew this?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, still not daring meeting his eyes. "You said you liked my drawings and.. you also said you'd like having one of yourself like, and I quote, 'one of these sleazy rich guys'," she added air-quotations for the dramatic effect. Her hands dropping to the side then. "I know considering you travel around from hideout to hideout, it's not practical, but.. I don't know, maybe if one day you do get that house of your own, you'll find some space for it." 

He hummed, his eyes preoccupied with the painting in his hands.

The detailed strokes, the soft-coloured paint. He wondered when she'd even found time to create it in between of sleeping and working. What amazed him the most, however, was the expression on his painted face. The look in his eyes. It tucked on something in his heart, the way she captured this brief moment of tranquility in them. He wondered if anyone else had ever noticed this kind of expression on him when not even he himself had.

That painting was how her eyes saw him. The way she saw him. And it was beautiful. It touched him how someone could see him like this. So.. human. Not a thief. Not a gunman. Just him.

He swallowed. His silent gaze wandered back to her then, catching her impatiently peeking at him as he was taking quite some time to silently gape at the present, increasing her insecurity about it.

He didn't understand why she was belittling herself so much when she didn't have to make him a gift in the first place.

"Thank you, Cassandra," he breathed eventually. His voice unintentionally cracked at the end as it came out hoarser than expected. She had almost missed it, so quiet that it was. But when she realised, her eyes slowly met his already smiling ones and all the nervousness she had felt before was suddenly swept away when seeing the sincerity in his face. He meant it.

She gave him a small nod in acknowledgment.

"Say.." he said then, taking another glance of the painting in his hands, "You said no plans tonight, right?"

»»»

"Should you not avoid such crowded spaces?" Cassandra yelled over the loud background chatter of half-drunks. One of them bumping into her shoulder, his red glittery party hat slipping from his head and almost poking her cheek.

Spending the final hour of the year at platja del Somorrostro, one of Barcelona's busiest beaches, surrounded by a New Year's crowd of strangers brimming the entire area wasn't where she had expected to find herself at. 

And all because of Taehyung.

His dark waves peeked out from between a couple of people in front of her, him clearly not hearing her nor noticing her absence beside him and she squeezed herself through to reach for his sleeve not to lose sight of him again. He paused when feeling the tug and looked over his shoulder, catching Cassandra puffing out her cheeks. "Hey, wait for me!" she pouted and he laughed.

"Sorry, did you say anything?"

"Yeah, I asked if you shouldn't be avoiding such crowds."

They pushed through the mess and Taehyung made space for her to follow behind him as he navigated them to a low pavement wall, seperating the sand from the street.

They reached the uplifted sea promenade soon and he climbed onto it when spotting a gap between some chatty teenagers. Holding his hand out for her which she accepted, letting him pull her up.

"More the opposite," he clarified then as he let his eyes wander over the sea of funny party hats, chaplets and woolen beanies. He could bearly spot where the actual sea began and where the crowd ended. His eyes then returned to her with a cheeky grin. "The more people, the easier it is to get lost in the shuffle."

Cassandra could only smirk at this. "I assume that's your go-to tactic at heists as well?"

"Hm, maybe. Who knows," he reciprocated her smirk. Knowing exactly how riled up it'd get her whenever he stayed vague and not providing more info. He simply enjoyed teasing her too much to ever let go of it, besides the obvious benefits of her not knowing any details for her own safety.

To be fair, this New Year's Eve was also quite different from what he'd originally planned for it to look like. The original plan foresaw him and the guys to sneak into a yacht party at the coast of Alexandria - something he wouldn't tell her though.

Partially because he didn't want her to ask why he was missing it out, partially because he couldn't let her know any details.

Furthermore, he'd never been a man of big parties and celebrations anyway, everything always seeming shallow and blown-out-of-proportion to him. And that sense only intensified when sneaking into some fancy party to steal idiots' jewelery and money. So in a way, he also did it for himself and not only for her. Besides, if he acknowledged the influence she had on him to just ditch anything at the mere feeling of her needing him, he'd need to apologise to Jimin for all the times Taehyung had scolded him for doing the same exact thing for Arabella.

"I hope we can see the fireworks from here."

Her words interrupted his train of thoughts and he watched her tiptoeing beside him before setting her heels back down and taking a sip from the mojito bottle she'd bought at a convenience store earlier. Cheeks already rosy from the alcohol in her system due to being a light-weight.

He took a swing from his own bottle of red wine. "Don't worry, we got a clear sight up here."

Cassandra hummed, getting tired of standing she decided to sit down on the cold stone next to a woman with a blue wig. Wrapping her arms tightly around her angled legs and bringing them close to her body. The midnight air making her shiver under her coat.

"Oh!" she exclaimed then, holding her phone up.

He narrowed his eyes at the dim display. The clock said six more minutes to midnight. He glanced at his wrist then, making sure his watch said the same. It was precise after all, something necessary when doing a coup. And indeed, six more minutes.

Explained why people around them became more jittery.

"Do you have any New Year's resolution?"

He mused for a moment over her question. Flashing her a grin then. "Not getting caught. You?"

The red-head lightly laughed at this before shaking her head. "No, don't think I got any."

"Huh, didn't expect that," he blurted out and felt her inquiring eyes on him.

"Yeah? Why not?"

He shrugged. For a moment he contemplated how to phrase his disbelief, licking his lips shortly which had become dry in the low temperature. "You striked me like the kind of person who'd have a whole list of resolutions to be honest. That's all."

Cassandra blinked, taken aback as she indeed used to always have some kind of resolutions while growing up and this might've been the first time she didn't. Perhaps she was more obvious than she liked to admit after all. A dry laugh left her lips then.

"Well, I used to -"

"Knew it," he grinned triumphatically and took another sip from his drink, "What happened?"

"Nothing. I just realised none of my wishes or resolutions ever came true. So I stopped."

Four more minutes.

"But if you would have to do any, what would it be?"

She took a moment to genuinely think about it and hummed while doing so. Only obvious ones popping up in her mind. "I guess.. to successfully complete this training year, not lose my mind in the hospital and.." Her eyes lowered and she paused, smiling to herself in a sheepish manner. "The last one is a secret."

His brows arched, but he didn't press considering it must be private.

He looked down at his watch again. 

Two minutes.

Somewhere in the distance behind them someone had already started blaring firecrackers. The loud cracking roaring over the drunk slurring, yells and chatter of the people scattered around them on the sea promenade. As far as the eye could see, streets were completely filled with people choosing spending the turn of the year outside among strangers in the cold. Most didn't seem to mind, Cassandra being the only one shivering.

And Taehyung noticed, scooting closer to her in a poor attempt to shield her body from the wind which had pushed its way through after all.

It was quite unfair, she pouted to herself when leaning into Taehyung's shoulder, how she, with her onion-layers of clothes, thick coat, scarf and beanie, was still freezing while he was out there with nothing but a sweater and a thin coat doing just fine.

"Thirty seconds," he announced when looking at his watch again.

Cassandra tilted her head to take a glance as well. "Twenty."

He sensed her warm breath brushing over his exposed skin. The pink-tinted tip of her nose and cheeks contrasting her pale skin which was faintly glowing under the yellowish streetlamp's light further away.

Everyone around them began counting down at the top of their lungs then.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

Taehyung searched her eyes, seeing she was already smiling at him. And they held each other's gaze while continuing counting down with the crowd.

"Seven!"

"Six!"

Their smiles widened.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

Fireworks errupted from the main square in the distance, splashes of colorful lights painting the black sky and illuminating the crowd with loud popping sound of explosives. The hooting party horns and cheers from the crowd jarred into a deafening wave and everyone fell into each other's arms.

And yet, despite the commotion by the boisterous mass of people, all Cassandra could see was the curve of Taehyung's bright smile. Losing herself in the glittering sparkles in his irises. Just for that moment, it felt as if it was only the two of them there.

"Happy New Year, Cassandra"

"Happy New Year, Taehyung."

They laughed lightly, breaking eye-contact and instead decided to watch the rest of the elaborate fireworks show and its golden rain when some odd - to him at least - customs caught his attention then. "Why're so many people kissing or eating grapes?"

Cassandra tore her eyes from the colourful shapes to briefly glance at him, redirecting them to the night sky again. "New year's traditions. People eat twelve grapes for each month for good luck. Or kiss to save themselves from a year of loneliness."

He seemed intrigued by this. "Are there more?"

"Not sure, I don't believe in this superstitions."

He huffed a laugh at her bolt claim. "Says the girl who bought a lucky charm to a heist with her."

Gasping, she averted her eyes from the fireworks again only to face his shit-eating grin. "T-that's something different. It was my emotional support!"

Taehyung only arched a brow, continuing giving her a doubtful look. Much to her annoyance. "No, I mean it. I don't believe in these New Year's traditions. Or at least I try not to but, who knows.." A rueful smile ghosting over her lips. ".. maybe that's why none of my New Year's wishes ever comes true."

Taehyung looked at her indeciphable expression before looking back at the firework.

"What about you?" She assumed to already know his answer but she was still prying to know.

"I'm superstitious. A little bit at least."

She smiled softly, somehow not being surprised at all. "Oh yeah?"

"I need to, sometimes it's a matter of luck. Especially in what we do." He threw his head back in gleeful joy as another set of fireworks was fired. A cheeky smirk gracing his lips then. "And don't they say luck and timing is everything you need?"

She agreed. Even in medicine where everything was scientific and empirist, they still often had to rely on luck and hope. When it came to a therapy or medication to work or when the surgeons needed to wear their own lucky charms to boost their confidence and succeed in a difficult surgery. But it also depended heavily on the patients themselves, if they believed in it or not.

She laughed under her breath. It was a laugh of self-pity as she felt she neither had luck nor timing. At least not in the way she wanted to. And she emptied her bottle in a swing. A feeling of fizziness and light-headness overtaking her mind.

"You know what?" she blurted out after a short while and giggled highly bemused, "We should kiss for good luck!"

Usually she'd know despite the bubbling feelings for her criminal friend, which she still tried convincing herself didn't exist, that kissing him while being tipsy probably wasn't a good start for anything. But any rationality was clearly last seen 0.5l of mojito mix prior, the very few enzymes she apparently had to break down alcohol, already saturated awhile ago. So her intoxicated mind simply found that sudden idea marvelous and entertaining. She'd never get a proper kiss from him anyway - or any guy in the forseeable future with her work schedules - might as well make him her platonic and amicable New Year's kiss in a desperate attempt for any kind of good luck for that upcoming year.

Taehyung, however, only chuckled when seeing her flushed red cheeks and the empty bottle. Not taking her random request seriously until he saw her face turning into an offended sulk. Bottom lip sticking out. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah, it's the tradition!" she pouted, "I don't want a year of loneliness. So you gotta kiss me!" She had an adorable, almost naive giggle decorating her puffy lips. And for a second his eyes lingered on them before eventually shaking his head.

"I don't think -"

"Then don't think," she grinned. "Let's just do this. Just a quick peck."

"Okay, fine," he dragged a sigh, surprised at himself for giving in so quickly when he and Yoongi always accused Jimin of getting easily wrapped around pretty women's fingers. "O-only 'cause I really don't want you to end up a lonely cat-lady though."

Rolling her eyes, she puffed out a snort. "Thank you. That'd be very kind of you!"

She turned her body fully towards him then, head getting dizzy at her abrupt movement.

Why was he even considering this? Oh yeah, to do her a favour. 

Emptying his own small bottle of wine, he also shifted in his seat before taking a brief look around them.

Kissing in public usually wasn't his style, but this could hardly be considered public as they were practically unnoticable in the amount of people around them. And besides, there'd been several others, whether friends or couples, who had exchanged pecks at the stroke of midnight.

So he exhaled and placed his hands on her arms, holding her in place so she wouldn't accidentally lose her balance as she was already swaying with a silly smile. 

"Alright."

"Mhh, do it."

"I-I'm doing it."

"Fine, then do it."

His skin felt on fire. He shouldn't have drunk that much. He might not be a light-weight like her, but he wasn't a big drinker either.

"Just kiss me already," she began whining impatiently, wiggling under his grip. A couple of loose curls falling from the side and framing her face while doing so. "Or I'll be a bigger loner than I already am."

He frowned with a snort. "That's emotional blackmail," he deadpanned then in an attempt to distract from his irrational nervousness.

But Cassandra immediately paused staring at him wide-eyed as if someone had slapped her and she only now realised where she was and what she was doing.

With an awkward laugh, her eyes fell to the space between them. Perhaps the buzz was beginning to wear off or it was a moment of clarity, but she realised it was pointless if she had to force him. Perhaps that would even give her bad luck in the end. And she already had enough of that.

She shook her head, embarrassed of her tipsy self. "Y-you're right. Forget it. It's a stupid tradition anyway. Can't remember the last time I kissed anyone on New Year's."

His brows furrowed at her sudden change of mind. "No, it's fine. I'm gonna do it."

"No, seriously. We don't have to," she ensured him, her words muffled from her woolen scarf as she tried burying her face in it. Cursing herself from minutes ago for even speaking out that rash nonsense.

However, Taehyung's grip around her upper arms only tightened. Making her grow stiff under his stare.

"I said I would and I keep my word." His voice was calm yet determined, which surprised him considering his hesitation and she dragged a breath, straightening herself under his hands. 

Was it weird that she didn't feel nervous despite it all? Probably. She blamed her low cogitation and the knowledge it wouldn't have any romantic significance anyway. Just friends following a tradition like many others around them.

"Fine, let's go."

He swallowed as he met her warm orbs. And he began fidgeting all over again. "Alright, okay, great. That's what I'm gonna do."

"All right."

His hands left her arms, instead placing themselves around her delicate neck and caging her velvety curls in his palms. A light shiver ran down her spine and she wasn't sure if it was the coldness of his fingers or the warmth of his touch. It was firm yet tender and she sensed her pulse picking up in rate with each passing second.

"Okay, ready?"

Cassandra only nodded, unable to speak all of a sudden. Maybe she wasn't drunk enough to stop her feelings and thoughts taking over her senses after all. 

Her eyes flicked to his heart-shaped lips before making the stupid mistake of glancing back at him and meeting his eyes. His face was open and vulnerable in the streetlamps and fireworks above them and she caught a hint of wonder on it as they stared at each other. Slowly, he began leaning closer. And she swallowed down the tiny gasp that dared escaping her lips.

"One, two.." He paused then, scowling at himself. "No, wait. I'm not actually gonna count down."

"O-okay."

"That's not my style when I kiss."

"Okay."

"I don't count d-"

"Tae, it's fine," Cassandra giggled, interrupting his ramble. She'd never seen him ramble before. Was he.. flustered? She'd always imagined him kissing lots of women in disguise. Even if he always claimed not even Jimin, the actual flirtatious among them, did that.

The thumbs on her cheek gently brushed the stray strands aside then. His eyes shifting to hers again. The last fireworks sparkled in them and for a moment his heart forgot how to beat.

"R-ready?"

"Yeah," she breathed.

He closed his eyes, his face coming close. A deep crease set between his brows then, making his face look rather angry for a kiss. And her tipsy mind ultimately lost focus upon that hilarious realisation.

"What's this face!" she bursted out laughing, unable to contain herself and he backed off, irritated about her laughing fit.

"W-what face?"

"You can't make that face when you try kissing someone," she choked out in between of laughs while pointing at him.

"Oh, so you say something's wrong with my face now?" Taehyung only scoffed, somehow glad about the interruption though. He wondered if his fingers were actually shaking or if it was from the vibrations of her laughter.

"No, idiot! You're handsome and you know it!"

Startled at the unexpected compliment, a timid smirk tucked on his lips at her drunm words. His chest warming despite him downplaying the muddled feeling that was raising. "Oh, so you think I'm handsome now?"

She groaned in annoyance, lightly hitting his chest over the coat. "Don't pretend."

"So, do you want me to kiss you or not?" His teasing smirk returning.

"Maybe if you didn't make that face."

"That's very nice of you considering I'm doing you a favor here," he laughed under his breath. Not remembering any woman having ever made him laugh so much despite complimenting and confusing him at the same time. 

Cassandra inhaled and exhaled deeply, calming himself again somehow. "Alright, let's do this already. No big deal," she nodded to herself, sternly, "Just kiss me."

"Nope."

She gasped at his evil grin. "You were about to, though!"

Taehyung only shrugged unimpressed and abruptly let go of her. "Yeah, before you bruised my ego," he retorted simply, causing her to huff.

"C'mon," she nudged his arm, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't laugh again."

"Apology accepted. But I'm not gonna kiss you." His lopsided smirk torturous, making her frustration grow.

"You're making such a big deal out of it, just kiss me already!"

"I'm not gonna kiss you!"

"Kiss me!"

"No! Not like this!"

Cassandra paused. Her parted lips, ready to counter something back in their bickering, abruptly pressed together into a thin line when processing his last words. She stared at his now bewildered face when he also realised what he had just unintentionally confessed.

"What?" she blinked confused, "What does that mean?"

Taehyung's eyes were wide, panic clouding his mind. "No. No-nothing. I just, I didn't mean it like that," he began with a terrible stutter the longer he looked at her inquiring eyes.

It didn't make sense. He was always capable of staying cool-headed even in stressful situation. It was inevitable in heists and when being in diguise. Then why did he totally blank out with the way her warm bambi eyes were digging daggers into his as the seconds passed. "I just, I mean we can't like that because that's not - it's very - like, you don't.. That's not what -" 

But Cassandra didn't even seem to be listening anymore, staring absendmindedly up at the sky instead, being clearly still tipsy and all over the place - he could tell.

Taehyung stilled then. The beanie was pulled to her brows, scarf hiding half her face. Only her round eyes peeked out, holding a lovely innocent wonder in them.

It was irrational. It was scary. How it was more thrilling celebrating with her and cheap wine from a 24/7 store at the beach, than being in an expensive smoking on a yacht surrounded by millionairs while drinking the most expensive champagne.

Cassandra abruptly shook herself out of her short abstraction then and flashed him a smile. 

"Come, let's leave or you wanna get hypothermia?" She was joking, but he noticed her anew shivering and he realised she must still be cold. 

"Y-yeah, let's go."

»»»

The new year was only a couple of hours old. Quite early to go home for most, but Cassandra felt exhausted despite having completely sobered up by now. Much to her own dismay, she wasn't the night owl she'd used to be anymore.

The air felt colder when she turned into her street. The way home taking longer than expected due to what it seemed half of the city being out on the streets and traffic jams everywhere. Lines of cars, impatiently honking and only moving for a few centimetres before having to stop again.

Taehyung followed behind her, wanting to fetch his gift before leaving the city again. It wasn't unusual for him to only stay for a day there before having to move again, but somehow she'd hoped he'd stay longer. 

The night breeze hit his warm cheeks as they reached the front door and she fumbled with the keys in the dark. Eventually finding the right one and unlocking the door, allowing them both to enter.

The painting was on the coffee table where he'd left it. He picked it up, examining it one more time in silence before tucking it under his arm and heading back to where she was in the hallway. Still busy taking off her shoes and jacket.

"Thanks again for this," he smiled gently and watched her lowering the beanie, ruffling through her curls to give them some of their lost volume back. "I'll make sure to store it in a save place." His voice was almost a whisper when he attempted to open the door, only to sense her tugging at his coat.

"Wait, I-" She pursed her lips, gaze falling as she saw his questioning glance. "I wanted to say thank you for spending the turn of the year with me.. I appreciate you coming all the way here so I wouldn't be lonely tonight."

His lips parted, taken aback. Had it been so obvious after all? However, he chose to pretend being confused and not knowing what she meant instead. "Who says that was my reason?"

Cassandra shrugged, lips curling into a rueful smile. "Maybe I just wished it was.. Whatever it was, still thank you. And I'm sorry."

Taehyung frowned. Gaze falling as well. "No need to apologise," he muttered, instinctively knowing what she was referring to. He swallowed then, shoving his free hand into his pocket. 

In retrospective, it hadn't been such a big deal and yet, he was glad he hadn't proceeded to kiss her like that. He knew he'd have regretted in the long run.

"I feel like it, though," Cassandra continued then with a sigh, "I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have insisted on keeping a tradition. Especially since I don't even believe in supersticious stuff."

He eyed her with a doubtful look, making her roll her eyes and sigh in defeat.

"Fine, I do. Sometimes. Some stuff. Not all."

He chuckled lightly making her smile.

Truth was, Cassandra was disappointed in herself for getting so weak and desperate, putting him in such a position and creating this awkward tension between them.

"Tae, you didn't have to kiss me." She felt like she needed to underline this. Her voice small and filled with guilt and shame. "Please, don't feel bad."

"I know, don't worry," he reassured before they grew quiet. 

In times like this she really disliked his withdrawn and secretive personality. Usually his aloof and coy aura intrigued her, but right now she needed him to speak to her. And the fact he didn't, made her fidgety.

They stood there for a second longer. 

Faint music was echoing from somewhere in the building while the piercing sound of lonely firecrackers was heard from the streets.

"Well, okay good then.. goodnight. And Happy New Year again." She tried sounding cheerful, masking her regret of screwing things over in her irrational state.

She wouldn't see him again for an indefinite period and that was how they'd be parting ways now. She hated herself from two hours ago.

Dragging out a breath, she reached for the door handle to let him out when a grip on her elbow prevented her from doing so. 

Taehyung grabbed her arm and in a swift move, pulled Cassandra into his chest. Strong arms catching her, wrapping around her smaller figure and before she could even properly react, his lips had already engulfed hers.

That was it. All the self-control she'd exerted over the past months went straight out the window in that moment. Her neurological system completely shutting down by the overload of neurotransmitters, hormones and endorphines, simply swiping her mind blank with the only remaining thought being how incredible his warm lips felt against hers.

Her arms instinctively found their way around his neck to pull him even closer. Feeling the cold metal of his necklace against her fingertips. And she kissed him back fiercely, Taehyung wounding his hands more into her long hair at this. It curled around his fingers, silky and fluffy and for a moment he lost any sense of time or his surroundings when all he could feel was the vibration of her skin against his and the bewitching rum-lime taste of her lips full of unspoken feelings and endless promises. 

Their lips moved, molding, melting into one another. Whatever logic and reason there had been, had long gone away. There was nothing left but their intertwined lips and breaths.

Eventually, they slipped from each other after what felt like an eternity but could have only been a minute. Panting against each other.

Their eyes remained closed, not daring opening and letting that moment ending in smoke so soon. Taehyung rested his dazed forehead against hers and leaned in. Planting one last kiss on her lips, this time less heated but rather tender and mellow. Savioring the last bit of the sour-tasting liquor mixed with his sweet wine. And Cassandra leaned into him more before they let go of each other at last.

Her eyes fluttered open immediately, dark lashes lining against her pale skin in a state of surreal haze. He wasn't sure if she'd ever looked more beautiful as in that moment, right after he'd kissed her and he felt the urge to do it again at this sight. 

"I meant something like that."

With that, he stepped back and picked up the painting from where he'd set it on the ground. Brushing past her. And he left without saying anything else.

Cassandra stood there in the empty hallway, stunned. Everything around her was spinning and she feared she was intoxicated all over again.

Her fingers slowly rose then to touch her numb lips. Ensuring they were still there. Along with the lasting sense of Taehyung's touch.

Her New Year's wish had finally come true.

»»»

next chapter: 0.8 here

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[metallicaislife]

Dreams

Requested by: Anon

Genre: 18+ Smut minors dni

Word Count: 1,226

Warnings: ouid usage, oral(f receiving), p in v sex, m x f pairing

“Oh yeah.. right there…” Cliff groaned.

I was currently rubbing a knot out of his shoulder. Cliff and I met when we were teenagers. I was alone at a concert and he just started chatting with me. Turns out we went to the same school but he was a grade above me. We’ve been inseparable since. It has always been mostly platonic. I say mostly because there have been a few times I feel like we could be more, but nothing has ever happened.

I pat Cliff’s back twice to indicate I was done. He leaned his head back, resting between my legs as he was sitting in front of the couch. 

“Thank you.” He grinned. 

“You’re welcome.” I smiled. The urge to just lean down and kiss him was so strong. He stared a second longer before lifting his head and standing up. 

“I probably ought to head out. We’re still on for tomorrow night, right?” Cliff asked as he grabbed his jacket. 

“Yup. See you tomorrow. Get home safe.” I waved from the couch. 

“See ya.” He called out as the door closed. 

“Urrgggghhhhhh!” I let out a frustrated noise and hit a couch pillow. Why does he have to be just so… Cliff! Right there and yet completely out of reach. Annoyed, and tired I got ready for bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep. 

I rented a couple movies, ones we had and hadn’t seen yet. Movie nights with a smoke sesh and snacks were one of my favorite activities with Cliff.

I heard my door open and I went to greet him. 

“Hey Cliff!” I grinned, going in for a hug. His eyes met mine, and there was a fiery glint in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before, as quickly as it came it went away. 

“Hey, you.” He said and punched my shoulder softly. 

I looked at my shoulder and then back to him. 

“You good?” I asked, there was a cute blush rising on his cheeks. 

“Yeah.” Was all he said as he pushed past me and into the living room. He went straight to work rolling the joint. 

“How’d you sleep last night?” I asked as I collected the snacks from the kitchen. 

“What? Why?” He asked sharply as I walked into the living room. 

“Your back was bothering you, I was wondering if you slept well or not…” I explained setting down the snacks. 

“Oh.” He chuckled awkwardly, “Yeah, uh I slept well.” He finished and put his whole focus on the joint. My eyebrow furrowed. I’ve seen Cliff off before, but this was a new level of weird. I really didn’t know what to think. 

“Okay, are you sure there is nothing wrong?” I asked him as I popped a movie into the tape player. 

“Yup.” He responded. I rolled my eyes and dropped the subject. I sat next to him on the couch.

Cliff finished rolling the joint and lit it taking the first hit then passed it to me. I inhaled, then blew out coughing a little. We passed it back and forth in silence. Cliff put it out and I pressed play on the movie. 

“Okay but is that realistic, would that happen in real life?” Cliff complained. I’d chosen a cheesy romcom, much to his dismay. But it was always fun picking them apart. 

“I mean, I don’t know.” I laughed, “Haven’t you ever had your birthday forgotten, then the dreamboat you’ve been crushing on creepily loans his girlfriend to the nerdy guy?” I asked, Cliff laughed. 

“Oh yeah, at least twice.” Cliff rolled his eyes, “It would be more realistic if they were best friends, you know actually knew each other, then one of ‘em had a dream about the other.” He said. My eyebrow furrowed. 

“Go on.” I said. He turned to look at me, then seemed to process what he had said. 

“Ah, nope dunno where that thought process was going.” He straightened up as we had melted together. I sat up turning to him. 

“Have you had that experience?” I asked. Cliff firmly shook his head, but he refused to look in my direction. “Cliiiiiiiffffffff.” I said in a sing-songy tone. He bashfully looked over to me. 

“We’re high, so you can’t hold anything I say accountable.” He said. 

“So what kind of dream was it?” I pushed. 

“We were doing stuff.” He said, the blush from earlier in the evening came back to his cheeks. 

“What kind of stuff?” I asked him. His eyes flicked up to meet mine. 

“We were fucking.” He said, his demeanor changed. That fire that had passed through his features earlier was back. 

“Was I on top, or you?” I asked, not breaking eye contact. 

“I was.” He answered. His eyes flicked down to my lips and back up.

“Were we kissing?” I asked him. He nodded. “Where were we?” 

“Your bed.” He replied. 

“Why don’t you show me? I’m more of a visual person.” I said, I have no idea where this confidence was coming from. However I’m not going to blow this chance, I know both of us have been waiting for. 

“Are you sure?” He whispered. 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.” I replied. I stood and held my hand out to his. He took my hand and stood. He brought me into him and leaned down placing his lips on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I’ve thought about kissing Cliff hundreds of times. My imagination is dull compared to the real thing. 

A trail of clothes led to my bedroom. I was on my bed, legs spread as Cliff ate me out with such fervence. My back arched as I moaned loudly. My fingers tangled in his hair. He groaned against my pussy. He finger fucked me as he sucked my clit until I came writhing against the bed. He kissed up my body until our lips met in a passionate kiss. My hands trailing up and down his back. He groaned into the kiss as he rubbed his dick through my folds. He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes staring into mine as he sunk in. I threw my head back as he found a comfortable pace. His lips attached to my neck as he left marks. 

“So fucking beautiful. Taking my cock so well.” He praised me.

“Feels s’good.” I moaned. I wrapped my legs around his waist, he picked up his pace. I screamed as I came for a second time. Cliff came shortly after. He pulled out and rolled off of me, he pulled me with him bringing me into his embrace. 

“So much better than my dream.” He muttered as he placed a kiss on my sweaty forehead. 

“Don’t be so bashful about it next time, I’m more than happy to recreate it.” I grinned and kissed his chest. 

“Noted.” He chuckled as he drew soft shapes on my back. “Have you had any?” He asked. I buried my face in his chest and nodded. “Well then I guess we’ve got some more recreations to get to.” He rolled us back over and nibbled on my neck. I laughed squirming underneath him. 

“Let me cool down first.” I laughed. He looked up, his eyes full of mischief. I knew then, I was in for a long night.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[vasito-de-leche]

Hello..... may I ask for more Horropedia romantic headcanons about his love languages in recieving and giving? 👉👈 I really like your Pavia headcanons about it. If it's too much, then may I ask for just Horropedia's love language in receiving? This man has been haunting me in my mind for a long time and I starve for more stuff about him. Thank you very much! 💖💖

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - Love Languages (receiving)

Headcanons and analysis on Horropedia's love languages and the way he likes to receive attention.

I miss doing love language stuff, so ty for the request! it's only receiving stuff for this post since it might've gotten too long if I did both, but feel free to drop by again!

This one is a little tricky for me! I know I have a lot to say about the way Horropedia shows affection, but when it comes to the way he likes to receive affection, I don't think I have a super solid grasp?

When it comes to love as a general feeling, I know that Horropedia isn't used to it. It's not due to a lack of receiving it, that's for sure. Horropedia knows how love is supposed to feel thanks to the loving grandfather that raised him - but genuine affection, whether platonic or romantic, and acts of kindness are extremely hard to come by in an environment as sterile and harsh as the Foundation. At worst, they come with an invisible compromise.

This, mixed with the fact that people tend to avoid him, has certainly led Horropedia not to expect anything when it comes to love as a concept. "It's not his genre", he says.

In the context of giving, it's easy for him to adapt to it because he just has to figure out the rules - the things he's comfortable with doing that feel good for you, the deal breakers, the clichés and so on and so forth, but when it comes to receiving? Horropedia is a little lost, almost like he's used to experiencing things as an outsider and a observer, rather than an active participant. It's especially difficult if the things that he wants are considered non-conventional, outside of the traditional scope of romance. Or if his partner misunderstands his eagerness to learn and the ways he engages with these new feelings as disinterest or aloofness.

Like I said in that previous post about Horropedia's relationship headcanons, it's easy to misinterpret him and his actions if they're only read at a surface level, and through the lenses of conventional displays of love. Him putting the effort into understanding the rules of romance, to figure out everything there is to know about love and the nuance of this relationship he's in... That's exactly how he shows his affections.

But once again, what happens when it comes to Horropedia receiving love and affection? He likes when you're with him, but is that enough? Is there something deeper? Something he's missing?

I think it would be very cute if he tried to figure out which love languages he likes to receive, only to find out the answers were pretty obvious the whole time, much like the formula for every romcom out there.

Receiving: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

[Quality Time]

Out of everyone I've written about so far in this blog, Horropedia would love quality time in it's purest form the most - getting to spend time with you all alone, focusing only on each other to catch up and bond sounds heavenly to him. The activity is the least of his concerns, he'd rather much focus on the fact that someone is going out of their way to make time for him, that they genuinely want him around and care about what he has to say.

Okay, bear with me for a moment. I like to think Horropedia is particular about his space and belongings, I definitely mentioned this a few times already throughout my posts, partially because of how cautious he had to be to keep the Foundation from taking away everything that made him feel safe and happy while growing up. And also because he's just wired like that, no other deep reasoning behind it. But once he grows comfortable, this sort of "stingy" and perhaps avoidant behaviour disappears almost entirely, because that's when he becomes eager to share his life in its entirety with those he cherishes.

The process of indulging in quality time with Horropedia, whether he's the one initiating or receiving, is actually just a very slow process of being welcomed into his life.

It starts very systematic and organized, I'd say - he would prefer to set up certain dates and times to hang out. For example, Sundays are special because they're the day you come around to hang out with him, so he can't have any other plans on Sundays and he'll certainly spend part of the week just anticipating this special day. But as he grows more comfortable, he would insist that you simply show up to his work station or room whenever you feel like it. That counts as quality time, right? You two are spending time together. Easy.

And this goes on and on, to the point where you're glued by the hip and that initial barrier is gone entirely - similar to Pavia, Horropedia would insist that you have permission to just wak into the places he considers a "safe space" from the world that keeps giving him weird looks or continues to chastise him for not adhering to the model of a Foundation member. He loves whenever you invite yourself to his movie marathons, when you just tag along to keep him company, or when you invite him to fun getaways, etc etc.

I know I said that Horropedia would enjoy quality time in the purest of its forms at the beginning of this entire section, but now I'm talking about how Horropedia considers quality time to every single second he spends with you. I have nothing to defend myself, so I'll just attribute that to his themes of redirection <3

[Words of Affirmation]

Horropedia likes when people are clear about their intentions and feelings the same way he is. Words of affirmation, to him, is intrinsically linked with understanding and transparent communication. Those are the things Horropedia seeks.

I think that questions are the easiest way to show this sort of love language to him. Yes, Horropedia would prefer to hear why you dislike a movie that he likes rather than hear you mindlessly praise it just to avoid upsetting him, he would rather be told that he's done a good job in his research, and all - but directly asking him for his thoughts and opinions, asking him to clarify or explain something in more detail... It makes Horropedia feel seen, finally heard, he's given the chance to unleash all of his intellect while knowing that someone is truly paying attention to him. You went out of our way to ask him, when you could've asked anyone else.

Not to say that compliments, declarations of love and sweet nothings are useless or unwanted! I do think that Horropedia is the type of guy who would love to be hyped up by his friends and loved ones, to have others tell him he's done a good job even if he already knows that, to have his partner tell him that they love him, even if he focuses more on actions rather than words. But it has to come hand in hand with that direct honesty, lest it come across as insincere or some back-handed comment.

I'm gonna go on another tangent here!

We've all talked about neurodivergency and Horropedia at some point or another, the idea of Horropedia masking is not strange or new at all. Him being aware of these invisible rules of conduct that others expect him to live up to exist out there, while also being unable to follow them or notice them right away at times - it's just the contradictory lifestyle us neurodivergent people have to lead.

I like to think that Horropedia has grown to be wary and cautious of acts of kindness around the Foundation staff because it's not something that he associates with a group like them. So being complimented out of the blue can give him pause. Something as small as telling him that his hair looks nice today, or that someone likes his clips and hair ties. Horropedia knows he must be on the look out for these double-edged words and back-handed compliments. Just look at the way other kids treated Vertin when they were all so young.

And yet, he feels so very happy and giddy when someone he trusts, who has proven that they're honest, gives him any sort of positive affirmations. Because he knows that these people mean what they say and say what they mean, as opposed to everyone else. This is when simple compliments can go a long way with him!

[myunghology]

[ ✦ ] . . . HONEY, HONEY! tsukasa suou x reader smau!

SYPNOSIS [Name] Sheridan, a student who grew up in a house near the beach, soon moves to Yumenosaki to start a new life. Tsukasa Suou seems to have found himself deep into a little crush on the darling.

au / genre — fluff, crack! mutual pinning, not connected to ritsu and leo's smaus this time! puppy love, romcom. NORMAL HIGH SCHOOL AU. no wars or anything or even idols. just school love and school life :P

pairings — tsukasa suou x gender neutral! reader.

status — ongoing! started, ??? : ended, ???

profiles. knights.. ouu.. : delusional dumbasses

ACT I ; VOULEZ-VOUS!

01. bon voyage!

02. better

03. lore drop

04. sauce??

05. night changes

to be added...

TAGLIST, opened! send in an ask to be added because i won't be accepting comments. if your name isn't highlighted, it means i cannot tag you. please notify me if you've change your user. 🏷

[boydepartment]

MY ONLY LOVE: Jake Sim x Reader: Ch. 15

description- y/n is an upcoming soloist in belift, she was previously in a disbanded group and the company decided to give her a chance. one day she runs into ex-boyfriend, jake sim, in the canteen. it was awkward and embarrassing and for weeks she tries to avoid him. you can’t avoid people forever though, especially when the company who gave her a chance tells her she has to fake date her ex boyfriend publicly.

genre- exes to lovers, fake dating, idol AU, romcom, fluff, comfort

includes- enhypen, y/n (obviously), bahiyyih (kep1er), hikaru (kep1er), p1 harmony, different idol cameos (i.e probably mark lee, bangchan, new jeans, etc)

WRITTEN CHAPTER- 500+ WORDS

“YOU TAKE WALKS TOO?”

when you got to jakes house, arriving with him, you were taken back by his mom putting you in a bone crushing hug.

“Y/N! DARLING!” she laughed as she wrapped her arms around you, layla got up from her dog bed and started to wiggle at the commotion.

“hi again mrs. sim!” you hugged her back and knelt down to pet layla.

“she remembers you!” mrs. sim smiled down at you and the dog. jake just stood there awkwardly at this interaction, it was difficult to take in you guessed. i mean, it’s not everday that your ex girlfriend from trainee days is in your home again, and now she’s your fake girlfriend.

“and you! you need to try to come home more often!” jake’s mom hugged him after that and let you both farther in the house.

it was just as you remembered it, the family portraits, old trophies from school, even the décor was the same. it shouldn’t be surprising to you, it was more homey than surprising.

you and jake sat at the table as his mom started giving you life updates about the sim family, it was really nice to be around familiarity. you didn’t get that often anymore. what really scared you was that this felt right.

“sooo jaeyun told me about the contract.” she flipped around and leaned against the counter, “is it going okay? they aren’t being weird towards either of you right?”

jake’s mom always looked out for you when you were a trainee and it was refreshing that she was still looking out for you even now, “yeah… i am okay, the only really bad thing was the whole group drama and the fansign…”

from the corner of your eye you saw jake tense up. in fact anytime the fansign was brought up he seemed to become tense.

“i know honey, jaeyun was telling me that some stuff like that was going on with you.” she sighed and handed you a cup of water. you thanked her and took a sip, jake was silent and his ears were pink.

“jaeyun it is not embarrassing that you made sure she was okay!” his mom had a shit eating grin on her face, you couldn’t help but smile behind your cup.

jake blushed harder and groans throwing his head back, “mom stop! you don’t need to tell her!”

his mom started laughing, “anyways, i will leave you two be for a bit alright?” at that she walks off to another room of the house.

“so you kept tabs on me?” you asked, smiling. jake side eyes you and you start laughing.

“its not funny! i just wanted to make sure you were doing okay but i was too shy to approach you! i thought you hated me so anytime something bad would happen to you i would go walking because i was always so stressed because-“

you were smiling and jake stopped talking, embarrassed, “you take walks too? when you’re stressed?”

jake nodded silently

“maybe we should start taking walks together then.” you smiled at him, “if that’s okay.”

“YES- i mean yes, yeah that’s cool. we can do that!”

you took another sip of your water, “good, i’m glad. we should visit here more often too…”

jake’s mouth dropped before he smiled, “sounds good y/n… sounds good…”

___

MASTERLIST

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a/n: i am sorry this chapter took forever and the fact it is short af

[lskisms]

YOU, AT LEAST, WERE BUILT TO GO, J. MILLER

. . . which is why you are able to be loved

synopsis — joel is getting older, he is getting frail, and you, still in your youth, have to come to terms with it. you just have to do so much sooner than you thought when he’s hurt during your attempt to escape the university of eastern colorado.

genres &&. warnings — angst, hurt/comfort, (post) apocalypse &&. canon compliant, spoilers for ep. 6 “kin” and ep. 7 “left behind,” contemplation of death, canon-typical violence (wound, gore, blood, wound care), age-gap (reader is in their mid-late 20s).

word count — 3.2k

note from r — title comes from the poem “elegy for my innocence” by steven dunn. i suppose i need to introduce myself a little: i’m rhi, i’m 22, and i’m in my second to last semester of college where i’m majoring in english. obvi, a big fan of the last of us, but also resident evil (which is what i’ve based my account aesthetic on, courtesy of my beloved leon s. kennedy). my ask box is open for people who want to send in asks and things. i’m really looking forward to writing for my fellow joel miller lovers.

if your parents were still alive, if they were around to see the life you’ve carved for yourself over the last few months, you’re certain your dad would want to smack the shit out of you and your mother would disown you from the family faster than you could blink.

you can hear the chastising now: a man old enough to be your father? are you joking? what the fuck is wrong with you? this is not what we meant when we told you we wanted you to start a family. 

and you can’t fault them really. you are almost twenty years his senior, having been just a young child when the cordyceps outbreak decimated the world. if the world had stayed normal, if none of this had ever happened, you’d probably have a dead end corporate job that has you wanting to drop off the face of the earth at the end of every grueling day, married and going home to a man complacent and yielding in every aspect, never too sure of himself to assert any kind of dominance, stuck in his own dead end job that keeps you comfortable just enough.

but the world isn’t normal and it hasn’t been since 2003. and there’s nothing you can do about it. you feel like a child again, wholly the depiction of the angsty teen in dramas and romcoms, as you tell the ghosts of your parents that the heart wants what it wants and i can’t help that i fell in love with a man going starlight gray at his temples. it is wholly melodramatic, something that you would have seen in any number of teen dramas written by out-of-touch, old white men.

joel miller came into your life like a lone crimson leaf during the fall, sometime during your first few months at the boston quarantine zone. it wasn’t like he’d meant to because everything that man did and does is deliberate; he’d simply waltzed across your line of vision as you’d walked back to your apartment after a long day of doing menial chores, the new world equivalent of that mental-health-issue inducing corporate job that the older people of the zone talked about.

you’d heard of him, of course: joel miller, flown in from somewhere down south, a menace to anyone who crossed his path prior to his arrival in boston, a brother somewhere out in the midwest who had taken off and joined the fireflies. he was decidedly unapproachable, gruff and mean and stubborn. most people were more scared of him than they were of fedra for the simple fact that he was more deadly with his two bare hands than any fedra idiot (sorry, “soldier”) with a gun.

he wasn’t a person who you intended to mess around with, no matter how handsome you’d thought he was when you saw him that first time. but then you’d started hanging around with tess, one of very few people who had any kind of stable-enough connection with him and that had led to you meeting and hanging around with him too. tess invited you to go on runs with them, sneaking out of the zone at night to stretch your legs and look for supplies that fedra definitely had and refused to give up. she’d preached your capabilities to joel and, stubborn as he was, he’d allowed you to keep coming with them after the first time because you proved to be spry enough for things that he and tess had grown a little too old for: you were useful to him and that filled you with a kind of thrilling gratification.

by the time marlene had tasked your little trio with getting ellie out of the city, you were a year deep into your entanglement with joel where you did all the recreational talking and he was the one who made the deals with the fireflies, the fedra goons he had in his pocket, the people who had things to trade. it was a balance that worked well for you: joel was well-versed in persuasion when he wanted to be and you were seemingly the only person who could draw out the rare ghost of a smile or a laugh from him.

it was supposed to be a quick job, one that joel had insisted you sit out but you’d refused. just a quick round trip tpe thing, that’s what you’d said to him. we’ll be out and back before anybody even realizes we’re gone. 

that had gone belly-up, of course, because anything that involved the fireflies had at least a 99% chance of not turning out the way anyone planned. and when you’d left the museum, you were down a friend and up a whole ton of miles. joel had tried to convince you again to leave, but once more you’d refused. tess died for us, joel. i’m in this until the end because i’m making sure her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.

and he’d let you stay. even months after that discussion, you think that he must feel at least a tiny bit grateful that you’d argued with him over it, that you’d fought to tag along. you’re an extra set of eyes, of hands, someone capable of taking over when he needs a break, which is hardly ever because he’s still as ornery as always, but knowing that there’s someone there who can must be nice enough.

and you’re glad he’d given in for once in his life because he’s dying beneath your hands and you’re not sure what to do. he’s going sallow and gray on the concrete floor of this ransacked house, breathing raspy and eyes slipping between you and some far-off point above him. joel is dying and for the first time ever since entering his life, you’re useless.

“joel, stay awake, please,” you beg, clutching at his hand as you kneel beside him. “ellie, you have to stop the bleeding.”

“i’m trying,” the young girl snaps. when she looks up, all you see is a girl who is reliving a loss, a deer caught in headlights, frenzied and terrified. her hands press the cloth harder over joel’s stomach in an attempt to staunch the blood flow and the man groans.

“leave,” he mumbles and your head snaps to look at him. he cannot possibly be saying this right now, not after everything you’ve been through. “leave. head north, go back to jackson. find tommy.”

“like hell we will,” you reply, trying to channel as much of his stubbornness as you can. you’d rather give up and drop dead right now than leave him to die alone in some fucking house in colorado. “we’re gonna fix this, joel. we’re not leaving, i’m not leaving.”

he’s slipping again, eyes glazing over. you can tell he wants to fight with you, but he’s losing the energy for it. for any of it. ellie stills and then tosses his jacket over him in a bid to keep him warm. she fixes you with a look, his look that says stay with him, so you nod solemnly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. you hear her footsteps on the stairs and only when the door shuts behind her do you finally let yourself break, weeping openly over joel’s chest, rising and falling so, so shallowly.

falling in love with this man has been something beautiful, some kind of phoenix rising from the ashes of a long-dead world. over the last few months, you have come to learn the feel of his knuckles brushing against yours, the warmth of his chest against your back when you share a sleeping bag, the sound of his soft breaths as you’ve trekked through miles upon miles of woods and abandoned highways. you have come to appreciate those things, facets of him that only you are privy to, the only person to know the weight of his arm over your waist and feel of his breath against your shoulder.

but in doing so, in reveling in the knowledge that you are the sole person to experience these hidden away pieces of joel miller, you’ve forgotten just how much older he is than you are. that misty gray at his temples and in his beard have been so permanent, you’ve started to believe that he’s always looked like this, that it’s not a marker of his age. you’ve forgotten that he is older and growing frailer by the day, conveniently forgotten how his heart stutters and how his knees act up after hours and miles of walking.

you had always known, of course, that joel would eventually leave you, but not this soon. and not like this.

maybe it’s your fault for putting him on a pedestal: the great, unstoppable joel miller. in your mind, he’s untouchable, some formidable opponent who people fear because he’s strong and knows his way around a fight. it shouldn’t be a chunk of a broken baseball bat that ends his life because it’s not fair, none of this is fair. you’ve been a fool for thinking that the three of you, your unlikely little family, would make it out of this unscathed, for believing that you could live a life like bill and frank’s after this all was over: fulfilling, safe, and the closest resemblance of before.

“god,” you whimper out, still brushing your fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “how could you even consider telling us to leave you here, joel?”

he gazes up at you, blinks slowly, the smallest signs of life that tell you he’s listening and wanting to fight you back about it.

“y’can’t leave me alone here, old man.” a short, wet laugh. “we’ve got so much left to do. i can’t get ellie back to jackson without you. i can’t do anything without you.”

he shakes his head in response and narrows those dark eyes of his just a bit. you read it for what it is: don’t you start talkin’ about yourself like that. he’s always been hard on you for not believing in yourself and your abilities, and it makes you laugh again.

“i mean really, joel. first man i’ve ever loved and you’re telling me to leave you here to die alone in fucking colorado.” you shake your head, looking away to try to blink back tears. “i can’t- i can’t just go. i need you alive.”

you can’t even stop yourself from babbling through the tears, brushing his hair back and wiping away his own tears. even though you should be desensitized to death and loss, you’ve always been particularly sensitive. but you’re young and this is your first love, your only shot at it, and he’s bleeding out on a cold floor because you were too focused on everything else that you hadn’t been able to stop him from getting hurt.

“ain’t your fault,” joel rasps out, eyes shining in the dull winter light. you realize you voiced that, a placing of responsibility that you’d meant for yourself and yourself only. “don’t do that.”

you stare at him and you know what’s going through that head of his. all kinds of thoughts that he wants to voice out loud: it’s not your fault and you were doing the best you could in the situation and this was going to happen sooner or later. damn pessimistic realist, always focusing on the worst possible outcomes than entertaining any kind of optimism.

and in a twisted turn of events, you start to think of your parents, long gone and relegated solely to memory, buried somewhere between atlanta and boston: an optimistic dad and an overwhelmingly realistic mother, so far on opposite ends of a spectrum that they complemented each other perfectly. your dad, ever the poet, had stolen poetry collections from every bookstore he’d came across during your treks from settlement to settlement. his favorite poem, by far, was about the death of a person’s innocence, something always meant to die eventually, perpetually blushing and always coming back a little less pristine each time.

you remember it now as you’re holding joel’s hand with your own, pressing his knuckles against the soft plush of your cheek. you, at least, were built to go, you hear your father’s voice say in your head, which is why you are able to be loved. you haven’t thought about this poem in years, not since you lost him to a runner somewhere in south carolina, but it feels sickening that you’re recalling it now as you’re watching your first and only love die under your hands.

and yet, somehow, it feels comforting, the idea that to be human is to know that one day, a loved one will die, but to know that is to cherish them better, to love them harder. you’re not at all okay with joel dying because you’ve had so little time to love him, but it helps you to cherish those few late nights more, to revel in the memory of his warmth enveloping you on particularly cold nights.

you can let me go. joel’s dark eyes are going glossy again and you smile knowingly at him, still crying. he’s not dead yet and there’s a possibility that he’ll make it out of this alive, the outcome that you’re praying to every god that has ever existed for. you can let me go; it won’t be easy, but you can do it.

ellie’s feet as loud on the old wood stairs as she comes barreling through the door and down the stairwell. she looks rabid as she all but throws herself onto the floor beside joel, ripping the tan coat back and pulling the soaked cloth away. joel’s wound is still gushing blood, a sure sign that he’s well on his way to death, but when ellie makes eye contact with you, you know for sure she’s found something to help. she holds up a needle and spool of thread; she must have torn the entire house apart looking for her hail mary and she found it, she fucking found it. she stares at you, eyes wide and face red, breathing hard, waiting for your go ahead.

when you finally nod at her, fresh tears in your eyes, you look down at joel. his fingers curl around your palm tighter and he’s staring back, his eyes wide. you laugh tearfully, totally and entirely stunned that ellie had actually found a way to help.

“you’re gonna be okay,” you weep, pressing his hand to your forehead, letting your tears drip into your lap. “you’re gonna be okay, joel. just hang on.”

the next few minutes crawl by cruelly, joel surely leaving bruises on your hand from gripping yours too hard, too tight, but you can’t even care because when his hand finally goes slack, ellie is done. her handiwork isn’t so bad and the bleeding has stopped for the most part. when you sigh, it feels like the weight of the world leaves your shoulders, a degree of relief you’ve never felt in your life.

joel, stubborn as always, is fighting unconsciousness as you turn to look back at him and you know it’s because he knows he’s not entirely out of the woods yet. there’s still bleeding to stop, a potential infection to fight, medicine you need to find to keep him safe and healthy, but this has to be good enough for now. it has to be because he’s joel miller and he’s mucked it through gunshot wounds and temporary deafness and all kinds of other shit the world has thrown at him. 

ellie, clearly emotionally gone, stands, her dark eyes empty and her face void of everything save for exhaustion. without even looking at you, she turns towards the stairs and says to nobody, “going for a walk. i need a break.”

her footsteps echo in the stairwell and then creak overhead before she disappears out the front door, leaving you in an empty house with joel and the horse in the garage. you look back to joel, still holding his hand. his face, always so devoid of anything minus annoyance and anger, looks so relieved right now and it makes you want to cry again, but you’re shit out of saline. you lay his hand down beside him before you tuck his winter coat back over him, up to the chin.

there’s not much that you can say, no thoughts come to mind. nothing more than i love you, but you want to save those for when he’s safely out of the thick of this. as true as they are, it’s not the right time, but you’re sure he knows. he must when he scoots his hand out from under the coat and nudges it against your thigh, some gesture that you can’t decode, but that you understand as i’m still here, like he’s able to read your mind. you smile at him softly.

i’ll tell him when this is all over, you reason with yourself as you move to lay beside him, exhaustion finally overtaking you. wherever we end up after ellie is safe with the fireflies, i’ll tell him and he’ll say it back and we’ll be okay.

he can’t turn onto his side, but he turns his head to face you, looking every bit the age of fifty. his eyes are tired and the crinkles of his skin run deep, his cheeks and chin dusted gray. this close, you can see every pock mark, the dip of skin at his temple from some long-forgotten cut, the deep scar that mars the space between his eyebrows. his defenses are down and he looks his age, for the first time in a long time because it’s so easy to forget how old he is when he’s doing the things he does to protect you and ellie.

you scoot in as far as you’ll allow yourself, knees knocking against his legs and your head pillowed on the arm underneath you. you raise a hand and rest it on his cheek, a touch he immediately leans into, like your palm was made to caress his skin. as far as you care, it was. he tilts his head towards you and you find yourself doing the same, foreheads touching. this is one of the small gestures joel allows you on most days, but right now, it feels more monumental than that. like always, it’s a moment shared singularly between the two of you, but it carries so much more weight because he gazes at you with so much more softness and love than he’s ever let himself show before and it reminds you that underneath all that rough exterior, he is a man capable of gentle touches and adoration, no matter how many times the world and himself have tried to beat it out of him.

as his breathing slows, but deepens (a sure sign that ellie has mended the problem for now), you move your arm to rest on his torso, hand pressed into the sturdy spot just above his heart. the beat is steady, solid, a reminder that he’s okay. he was built to go, but now more than ever, you feel he was also built to be yours, to be loved by you. and you’ll make sure he makes it through this, no matter the cost.

(c) lskisms, 2023. do not repost, translate, or otherwise plagiarize my work. the only official versions of my work are available on tumblr and ao3 under the name lskisms.

[tokkias]

How about actor au hc’s for fairy tail! (Nalu centered cuz i need my nalu crumbs)

so i got like 80% of the way through writing these before i realised i may have misinterpreted this ask, and that you were in fact probably asking for an au where they're actors on fairy tail as a show. oops! but these are actually headcanons that i have (to no ones surprise) talked about pretty at length with @nalunalu which is why this was my default list.

in fact, they even drew some absolute banging art based on one of these headcanons so you should go look at it <333

if that is in fact what you meant, and you still really want to hear my thoughts on it, i would still love to write that up, just send me another ask and i will make a post, but i hope you enjoy these general actor au headcanons nonetheless <3

misc natsu + lucy headcanons

natsu primarly does actions films and lucy mostly does dramas

natsu got his start in the industry as a stunt double but eventually started getting acting roles of his own

he does all (or most) of his own stunts

lucy gets into acting in college where she's doing a business degree at her fathers demands and she takes an improv class to try and make friends

she's really bad at improv and thinks it's fucking lame, but it sparks her interest in acting and she gets a conjoint degree in business and theatre

she would have dropped her business degree but if she did that her father would have stopped paying for it and it was the only way he would entertain the idea

as soon as she graduates she leaves home, cuts off all contact with her father and goes to pursue acting

she works waitressing and modelling for a while and she's offered the chance at a full time modelling contract but as much as she likes it, she still wants to pursue acting

natsu is crazy good at spotting cameras and paparazzi

like this video is natsu

there are so many photos of natsu and lucy where lucy's minding her own business, chatting along, while natsu just stares dead straight into the camera

natsu's instagram is made up entirely of bad pictures he takes of lucy

he only posts when he's contractually obligated to promote something and it's always his stupid genre of bad lucy photos

when he's not allowed to post bad lucy pics to promote his new projects, it's bad pics of his cat happy

his agency gets so sick of his terrible instagram prescense that he has it taken away from him and a social media manager takes over

they start posting actual nice good quality photos from red carpets and other events and people fucking hate it

the comments are so flooded with demands to bring lucy and happy back that they are forced to give it back to him, which he of course announces with a bad picture he took of lucy holding happy

all the comments are just like. the return of the king.

people constantly ask if his phone/camera is like 10 years old or if his terrible quality photos are an aesthetic choice, and it's not. it's 5 years old and has a crack on both cameras because he's always dropping it doing dumb shit

lucy still does a lot of modelling for magazines after her acting career takes off, but more for fun that for money like when she first ran away from home

brands are clambering at her feet to have her as their ambassador

she becomes a style icon and still retains her expensive taste from growing up in the heartfilia household

she wears lots of designer dresses on the red carpet and she works with a stylist but most of her stuff she picks herself

while lucy is always wearing show-stopping gowns on the red carpet and to every other promo event, natsu has one (1) suit he wears to every event

the only thing he changes is the shirt he wears underneath and it always matches what lucy's wearing

nalu specific headcanons

they meet for the first time on the set of a romcom that they're starring in opposite of each other and it's both of their first time doing anything like it

they're pretty much instant besties and they surprise literally everyone with how great their chemistry and comedic timing is

lucy did not know of his stunt double background until she watched him do one on set for the first time and she was fucking mortified. she screamed

their first kiss (and probably natsu's first kiss ever) is on set and they both get a little too into it for their own good

it's just a good old friendly kiss with no meaning whatsoever except for the fact that it definitely goes on for way longer than it was scripted to

they have a sex scene in the film and lucy is super nervous because it's her first time filming one

it's natsu's first time too but he's not nervous at all because he's jumped off of moving cars before so pretending to have sex with lucy is nothing compared to that

every time the cameras aren't rolling natsu is just goofing around to try make her feel more comfortable and it works a little too well because they're laughing and giggling and goofing off the whole time

if they were good friends before that, they're basically inseperable after it

on set, it's cute sometimes and infuriating other times

lucy's hair stylists and makeup artists fucking hate him because he will not leave her alone while they're trying to do her hair and makeup

he once got himself cursed out for giving her a noogie between her hair being done and get scene

once filming wraps they're both really bummed because they go from seeing each other every day to being lucky to see each other once every few weeks

once promo for the film starts they are attached at the hip

the films marketing team doesn't even have to try to push them into a fake relationship to promote the film because everyone just thinks they're dating anyway

in fact, they're so close that they're constantly accused of being in a fake relationship and that it's "so fake and forced" even though they're not actually dating

so much arguing ensues because of the sheer natural chemistry they have together in interviews even though both sides are wrong, they're just close friends who kiss for a job

lucy desperately needs everyone to know that they're not actually dating and that they're just friends but the films marketing team shushes her because it'll be good promo for the movie

natsu on the other hand does not care about it at all because he pays so little attention to the media anyway that he didn't even know people thought they were dating

both of them were pretty well known before the film, but the dating speculation and their acting in the film itself turns them both into household names and people hardly seperate one from the other

they both make cameos, even small ones, in each others films

lucy landed a role in a soap opera and natsu, who has never worked in television before, plays a recurring role as her love interest

he is not very good at acting in soaps because he thinks they're kind of lame and he's not practiced in it at all so his role is pretty limited to scenes with lucy because they just have stupid insane chemistry that everyone loves

natsu enters stage left. natsu kisses lucy. natsu exit stage left.

it's not until years of being best friends and well after the dating speculation dies down do they actually start dating, but neither they or their reps reveal it

no one gets confirmation that they're dating until pictures of their wedding pops up online and everyone is like THEY'RE MARRIED???

lucy writes a super long heartfelt post about how she got to marry her best friend and how much he means to her

natsu posted a picture of him and happy in matching suits and then the one (1) nice photo of lucy he has on their wedding day on the second slide with no caption

[kpopfanfictrash]

Not Another Holiday Romance (Teaser)

Posting Date: Saturday, December 24th at 6:00 PM EST

Part of: the Snow Falls Collaboration with @underthejoon and @suga-kookiemonster

Genre: Director!Y/N, Town Historian!Namjoon, One Night Stand!AU

Author's Note: This story will be told in alternating viewpoints between Y/N and Namjoon.

Synopsis: You, a perpetually alone (and utterly cynical) movie director, are sent to the town of Snow Falls, Middle-of-Nowhere for your latest film assignment. Stuck in holiday hell until the new year, you’re determined to get in and get out with minimal damage to your Grinch reputation. That is, until a ridiculously gorgeous (and young?!) town historian is assigned to help with your film. Suddenly, you find yourself the heroine of one of those corny romances you direct – and are discovering they might not be so corny after all.

Estimated WC (Total): 30K

Rating: 18+

Preview WC: 2,021

“But I don’t care what they think,” insists Matt, stepping closer. “I’ve spent my entire life hearing about what I should and shouldn’t do and right now, I don’t care about any of it. I care about you. On Easter,” he adds, blonde hair shining underneath the bright lights.

Bunny – because yes, the character’s real name is Bunny – smiles up at Matt, blinking away tears. Except – hang on. No. Bunny is actually crying, which isn’t in the script.

Exhaling loudly, you push yourself to stand. “CUT!” you call, ignoring the groans from the crew. “Amber, the script says, ‘eyes glistening,’ not full-on waterfalls. Matt’s telling you he wants you, not going off to war. Let’s do it again!”

Dropping her dewy expression, Amber Carmichael (the actress cast as Bunny) turns, squinting against the lights. “You sure?” she calls, raising a hand to her brow. “I thought it added something to the moment! You know, like catharsis.”

“The only thing it added,” grumbles Matt – both the name of the actor and character, “was confusion.”

Ignoring him, Amber flips long, dark hair over one shoulder. “Alright,” she says, unconcerned. “Let’s go again!”

Trying not to sigh, you sit down in your chair. Hiding laughter, your assistant director, Abby, ducks behind her green binder.

“This is gold,” she murmurs as the crew resets. “If this movie weren’t already terrible, Amber’s acting would get it there.”

“And why does that make you cheerful?” you ask. “I’m the director and you’re the assistant director. Our names are tied to this.”

Shrugging, Abby flips a few pages. “Hey, I enjoy my job. We’re making content for people who just want to relax after dinner. An important job which keeps 74.6% of bored housewives from killing their husbands. It’s true – look it up.”

You, of course, do not bother to look it up because Abby is known for making up statistics to suit her purpose. Most are rooted in a semblance of truth though, and you know that people watch Mallhark – your employer – for a reason. Basic escapism if nothing else.

You just aren’t sure an Easter romcom was what they had in mind.

Matt and Amber are currently acting before a greenscreen, the rolling green hills to be added in later. Abby might see this as glass half-full but from where you’re sitting, things look pretty dismal. The main character of your movie is named Bunny, for crying out loud.

Once upon a time, when you were first promoted to director and tasked by Mallhark to make the holidays magical, you took great pride in your work. You stayed up until morning making edits, pouring over screen tests, and searching for locations but lately, you can barely drag yourself to set. Lately, everything has felt stale, and you aren’t sure how to recapture the magic for yourself, let alone someone else.

Pulling your lower lip between teeth, you shove this aside to concentrate on the moment. Magic or not, you need to finish this film today. Your flight out of here is tonight and Mallhark doesn’t take kindly to schedule delays.

“All set?” you yell, waiting for the crew to respond. Once they do, you nod. “Okay. Three… two… one…” You signal to start, settling back in your seat.

Brian, your main camera operator, zooms in to frame the shot. A second operator, Siying, works a hand-held for close-ups. Everyone on set feeds off one another – one of the few things you still appreciate about movie making. Even the cheesiest, cheapest films necessitate a tremendous crew.

Amber and Matt start their scene from the top, with Amber perched on a rock to stare at the (fake) sunset.

“BUNNY!”

Matt runs into frame, startling Bunny into falling sideways, nearly into his lap. The two confess, laying their insecurities out between them. Like a grocery list, Bunny rattles off her fear of commitment, of abandonment and Matt wholeheartedly accepts her as her leading man.

Watching this, you feel a slight twinge in your chest. It’d be nice if real life could be that simple. In your experience though, men tend to run the moment flaws are unearthed.

“I care about you. On Easter,” Matt blurts, ending his monologue.

Bunny stares up at him, starry-eyed. You have to hand it to Matt – as a Mallhark veteran, he really knows his stuff. Cheating his angles, he gives the camera crew the shot they need while continuing to gaze into Bunny’s eyes.

Amber isn’t quite as good, staring back with her lips parted. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so provocative if she hadn’t just come from amateur porn. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the angles and facial expressions are wildly different here on Mallhark.

Abby must be thinking the same since you catch her scribbling a note in her binder. Possibly edit out porn sigh during ending?

“Oh, Matt,” Bunny says. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Bunny.” Matt gathers her to him, and you close your eyes to brace yourself for the next bit of dialogue. “I’m hop-lessly in love with you.”

The two of them laugh, only sounding slightly strained, which is the best you can hope for. Matt presses his lips to Bunny’s, and you wait an appropriate time before you yell cut.

“That’s it!” you call, standing from your chair. “Thanks, folks!”

Amber and Matt break apart, the crew loudly applauding the successful take. Sagging in your seat, you hear Abby close her binder with a snap.

“So,” she declares. “That was fun.”

Rather than respond, you lower your head and start to rub your temples.

Abby makes a tsking noise. “You’re becoming cynical, Y/N. How can you not love this channel? Come on, think about it – the meet cutes! The banter! The romance! The bunnies!”

“I’m allergic to rabbits,” you mutter.

“Huh.” Abby tilts her head. “Well, bad luck getting assigned to the Easter movie, then.”

“And besides,” you exhale, looking up. “Let’s call a spade a spade, Abby. We’re not solving world hunger. These movies are thinly veiled Christian propaganda that’s being spoon-fed to the viewer. I’m surprised we don’t do blatant product placement, too. Really lean into the consumerist angle.”

“Damn.” Abby snorts. “Who spit in your peppermint mocha this morning?”

“And that’s another thing,” you gripe, jiggling your empty cup. “This mocha was terrible! I should be at least able to taste coffee, right?”

“Depends. Most people who order peppermint mochas just want the chocolate.”

“Ugh. I’m sorry,” you sigh, knowing you’re being unfair. “I’m just in a crappy mood today.”

“You’ve been in a crappy mood for a week,” Abby says, standing from her chair. Stretching both arms overhead, she leans side to side. “Don’t shoot the messenger, but as your best friend I feel obligated to let you know.”

Stomach sinking, you follow her lead and stand. Abby is right. You’ve been generally terrible to be around, and it isn’t her fault. Trailing her throughout the set, you wave goodbye to the crew on your way to the door.

Normally, you’d stay and help clean, but time is of the essence if you want to make your flight. Mallhark, in true capitalist fashion, has scheduled your films back-to-back. You’re even missing the wrap party, which tends to be a trainwreck but in the fun kind of way.

“I know,” you sigh, pushing open a door. “The worst part is I don’t have any right to be a grump. I mean, I have a good job. I’m directing, which is what I want to do. I have a nice place to live. I have food on the table, I have friends –”

“Friend,” Abby corrects, then waves a hand. “Continue.”

Your glare at her is half hearted because once again, she’s correct. “Anyways,” you say, pushing through a second set of doors. “I have everything I need, so I don’t know why I’m in such a funk.”

“Hm,” Abby says in a tone which says incoming monologue.

Stopping at your trailer, you turn around to face her. “Come on,” you say, gesturing with one hand. “Out with it.”

Abby innocently blinks. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Tell me the thing you want to say.”

“It’s just.” She shrugs. “It’s basic science.”

You stare at her for a moment. “Okay, I’ll bite. How is this science?”

“95% of people aren’t happy with what they have.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep.” Abby nods, dark hair flying. “Okay, so I may have made up that number, but it sounds right, doesn’t it? What I mean is – it’s all Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Sure, all your physical and safety needs are met but what about the rest? Are you satisfied and proud of your work? Does having only one friend” – Abby gives you a long look – “fulfill your quota on love and belonging?”

Whatever retort you had dies in your throat, unable to suitably respond. Abby has a point. True, you have it better than some, but it doesn’t mean things in your life are that great. Especially given the email you received last week.

Exhaling slowly, you stare at a point above Abby’s head. “I got the casting list for our next movie,” you mutter.

“O-kay.” She frowns. “Not sure how this ties into our conversation, but okay.”

Dropping your gaze, you look at her. “Nico was cast as the male lead.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“Fuck.”

“Uh-huh.”

Abby falls silent, clearly struggling to come up with a positive response. You should tell her there isn’t one – you’ve been sitting with this for over a week and have nothing.

Nico Taylor, aka The Ex. Also known as Mallhark’s leading man/heartthrob from many a 00’s movie. He had a brief action career before stepping from the spotlight to ‘sort things out,’ or attend serious therapy to undo the effects of childhood stardom. Now, he’s reemerged on the Mallhark scene.

You met him last fall, had a whirlwind romance where you experienced love for the first time and then, come January 1st, you found yourself dumped. It was brutal, fast, and made all the worse by the fact that you both work for Mallhark.

Thus far, you’ve been able to avoid working with Nico, but it seems your good luck has run out. Typically, directors are involved with casting decisions. Your next film though, is a Christmas movie being shot on location. That means permits, logistics and specific timelines. Because of this, your film schedule changed abruptly and overlapped with your current film. Casting was delegated and now, look where you are.

On the one hand, it’s a sign of Mallhark’s faith in the script to assign such a big star. On the other hand, you’ll be trapped in a remote location with your ex-boyfriend for a month.

Abby slowly shakes her head, her mouth a round o. “Well.” She pauses. “Shit, Y/N. I don’t even know what to say. Let’s go and get drunk at the airport?”

You can’t help but laugh; it’s such an Abby response but for once, you agree. “I mean, yeah. Let’s do it,” you say, pulling open your door. “I’ll grab my bags and meet you out front? We can call an Uber.”

Abby nods, waving goodbye as she heads for her trailer. You’re halfway inside before realizing something and poking your head back out.

“Abby?” you call.

She stops, jogging in place as she turns around. “Yeah?”

“Where are we headed?”

A delighted grin spreads across Abby’s face, which should be your first warning. Stomach sinking, you deduce it’s somewhere suitably cheesy.

“Snow Falls,” she says, clapping both hands together. “Isn’t that adorable? Sounds like something out of a Christmas story!”

“Dear god,” you groan, pulling your head back inside. “I’m going to need more than the in-flight wine to get me through this.”

Zipping up your bag, you place this on the ground and look around your trailer. No personal effects, which is just how you like it. Fewer things to pack means fewer things to repack when the stint inevitably ends.

Five weeks, you remind yourself. Only five weeks until you can repack again.

© kpopfanfictrash, 2022. Do not copy or repost without permission.

Teaser #2: definitive ranking of sluttiest male sweaters

[silverslipstream]

writeblr intro!

Well, hello there! Welcome to my page! Thought I'd finally get around to writing and pinning an intro, seeing as my writeblr recommendations post has gone STRATOSPHERIC and I've followed so many new accounts!

I'm Jeb (he/him), 20 years old, and an aspiring writer, poet and disaster dork from New Zealand (who currently lives in the UK - England, to be more precise). I'm a huge lover of writing and reading science fiction works, particularly hard sci-fi - Arthur C. Clarke's Space Odyssey series and his novel The Songs of Distant Earth were the works that inspired a young me to start taking writing seriously. I also write fanfiction, romance, horror, a smidgen of fantasy, spy fiction... whatever takes my fancy, basically! I also love writing and reading poetry, and hope to have some of my poems published professionally by the end of 2023!

Outside of writing, I'm a huge motorsport lover. Formula One is my main passion, and in fact I originally joined tumblr to post about my then-WIP, The Edge Of Control. TEOC may be in cryogenic storage, but my love of speed and high-octane racing remains: I regularly watch F1, IndyCar and the World Endurance Championship. I also love spaceflight, astronomy, Shakespeare, teen movies from the 80s/90s (ESPECIALLY John Hughes' work), many cheesy romcoms and lasagna. (What? It's literally the perfect food!)

Right, now with all that out of the way, let's get onto the real good stuff... (sorry in advance for the lack of taglists, I haven't remembered how they work!)

links to my work:

jebberjabber on AO3 (my main account, for fanfiction) degnercurve130R on AO3 (for F1/racing works) KesslerCascade on Wattpad (for original works)

works-in-progress

You Can't Take It Back Now!

type: fanfiction (fandom: Bittersweet Candy Bowl, Webcomic) genre: romance (of the sapphic, friends-to-lovers variety) summary: Sue and Amaya have been best friends ever since they met in second grade. They're proudly inseparable, but when a secretive confession from Amaya turns into a sudden kiss from the assuredly-straight Sue, everything changes. Can they navigate their friendship while dealing with their rampant emotions? Is it just drama, or did Sue have more investment into their kiss than she let on? status: six chapters currently complete, with two published on AO3! Bi-weekly updates planned. link: You Can't Take It Back Now! on AO3

White Sky

type: original work genre: hard science fiction/mystery/thriller summary: It's 2094, and the Earth-Luna Treaty Organisation (ELTO) is planning the upcoming 125th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Meanwhile, Katarina 'Kat' Lloyd, a reclusive scientist, is framed for a crime she didn't commit and forced into outer space. Seeking refuge aboard the cislunar debris hauler Dowager Caroline, Kat and the Caroline's motley crew discover that her framing was simply a cog in a much bigger plot - one with dire consequences for mankind... status: currently in the planning stage, rough draft established and plot outline written

works published on Tumblr:

An Acquired Taste - In a post-cyberpunk/solarpunk imagining of 22nd-century New Seoul, a corporate engineer makes a chance meeting with a street vendor and makes an important discovery.

Executive Decisions - In an alternate history where the Cold War went hot, a US Air Force nuclear-bomber crew face a moral dilemma as they near their Soviet target. Operation Trident - A soldier experiences a combat drop on the Belgian coast, as part of an ongoing human offensive against an alien occupation force. Ignition Sequence - An experiment with a second-person perspective where the watcher observes a Space Shuttle launch in Florida.

[icanbeyourjedi-writes]

It Was Just A Dream Chapter Three

Summary: Going back to work was easy, hearing that Alex has a date is not.  Frankie spirals at the news, and what happens next could change the friendship.  Words: 7,591 Rating: 18+ Adult Themes Warnings/Triggers:  Addiction, Falling for Your Brothers Friend, Language, OFC is somewhat described as someone with longer hair, but no race/eye color/body type   A/N: I don’t know much about addiction, just the things that I googled and seen portrayed on TV. This is completely an AU. I had the beginning of this story pop in my head randomly and thought it sounded fun to explore. Sure we all love Frankie was that sweet puppy dog…but what if he had his own inner demons he had to battle with.  The ‘coke charge’ was mentioned in TF and I kinda wanted to explore that side of him. 

Thank you to @theewokingdead for the beta

**This is written as a  first person, and it's my first time writing in first person, so please be gentle with me. I also include Frankie's POV which will be Bold

Frankie Morales, 25, a talented pilot, Army Vet and now sticker enthusiast. I don’t think I have ever spent so much time in the sticker aisle. We’ve been here for at least an hour and I am sure the pile of stickers in the basket are already at fifty bucks.  But I can’t help it, he’s excited, he’s smiling and I see the old Frankie. The Frankie before he got hurt. 

“Lex…Lexi they have vampire teeth!” he races over to me dropping the stickers into the cart joining the helicopters, military helicopters, cats, cat paws and of course who could forget catfish. And because that wasn’t enough he added tropical fish to the pile as well. 

“I‘ve created a monster” I sigh to myself. I start to think this crazy thrown together idea might actually work. I’ve never been in his shoes. I don’t know what he deals with, what he has dealt with. But I do know a reward system works. It works for the kids who come into the doctor's office. Get the shot, get a sticker or a sucker depending on the doctor. 

Frankie walks back towards me with one more package of stickers, fire trucks. I look at him and he just shrugs, the other stickers made sense. They all fit him; cat, fish, helicopters, “what?” He shrugs “when I was a kid, I thought about being a firefighter”

“You’ve always wanted to help people?” I ask 

He pulls the brim of his worn out baseball cap and drapes his arm over my shoulder, a small nod. Over the years I have been able to learn his mannerisms and his ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ look. This was that look. Hat pulled down, eyes on his feet, biting his bottom lip. 

“Think we have enough?” I ask quickly changing the subject

“Maybe” his voice still soft 

15 packages of stickers and $50 dollars later, I hope this plan works. I know he is going to have to eventually go to classes, especially when that voice gets loud. But it’s day four and I still have some hope. We stop for some takeout. Pizza, it was quick, easy and who doesn’t love a good slice of pizza. 

I lean back on the couch, Frankie finishing his slice and pushes his plate away. He picked the movie tonight…his choice of movie completely shocked me. The final scenes of ‘Bridesmaids’  starts to play, as the two characters start to sing “Hold On”. Frankie leaning against the arm rest. His hand tapping against his leg as he hums along. I can’t help the smile on my face as I watch him. He slowly starts to sing the words. Quiet at first until that first chorus hits.  

“…things will go your way, if you hold one for one more day…” he sings along, eyes closed fully in the moment. 

I will be fully honest with you. When I told Frankie he could pick the movie tonight. I was expecting Top Gun, Saving Private Ryan, maybe even Green Mile. I never would have guessed that he liked the RomCom genre. I turn to face him, he has my attention as he continues to sing. It’s only when I giggle that he opens his eyes and looks at me. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” I smile. It was cute, he was relaxed, he for another brief moment was the old Frankie. I want to keep him like this “uhm so you know I start work tomorrow” 

“I know” he sighs. He sounded disappointed 

“Can I have your phone?” I ask 

Without hesitation he reaches into his pocket and hands it over to me. I touch the screen and it lights up with what else but a helicopter as his photo. I touch the screen again and enter in the passcode “it’s your birthday” I hear him say. 

“I know” I look up and smile at him. 

I asked him once, why it was my birthday. Instead of his girlfriends, or his…or literally any other four digits he could have picked. I don’t want to forget your day, he said. He rubs the back of his neck, a tell that he doesn’t know what to say next. 

She’s right, it’s been her birthday since the day I met her. She was one of the few who listened when I talked. Cared how I was feeling, she was the only one to send me care packages and letters when I was away. My own girlfriend never sent me a care package. 

I watch, she has her tongue peeking out of her slightly parted lips. She was concentrating, she looked beautiful, but she always did. I don’t know why I handed my phone over so willingly. But the truth is, I would do anything she asked me to. I’d take a bullet for her with no hesitation. 

“Ah-ha, there it is” she says and I can’t keep his eyes off her. 

“What are you doing?” I finally asks

I watch as her finger slides up the screen, “deleting your friend George” she responds matter of factly. “Frankie, I trust you. I do. But you're going to be alone. I just…I don’t want you to feel like you need to contact him” 

She was right, smart even. It had been a few weeks since I had talked to ‘George’. But I didn’t think she knew how easy it would be for me to get something if I needed it. George wasn’t his only source. I didn’t want to use, I wanted to be better. But the struggle of staying clean was getting harder as the drugs left my system every day. 

“And I’m adding my work number incase you can’t get me on my cell” she clicks the button on the side of the phone and hands it back over. “I also think…it might be good to find a class or two to go to while I’m at work” 

“You don’t want me to be alone” I groan. The mere thought of having to go around in a  ‘share your feeling’ circle had me panicking. I watch as Steve’s name flashes across the screen asking if he has been ok. It’s been well over a month since I had texted him for a supply. And no, despite my best efforts he wasn’t ok 

“You know you could always call Nicole” I don’t know why I said that, I really don’t want him to call her, “she’s a nurse at a rehab facility. She would know what to do” she would and that’s what I hate the most. She would know how to help him in more ways than one 

“Lex, you know you can have meaningless sex with someone. You don’t have to like the person…” 

I pretend to be shocked by his statement. My number was a lot smaller than Frankie’s. Ok he probably had double maybe triple the partners than me. I know you don’t have to be in love with the person, I know you don’t even need to know their name. But call me old school, I like to have it mean something. 

“Yeah, I know that, but thanks for reminding me” the words sound a lot harsher than I intended. “Look, I’m just saying you're going to be on your own, and I’m proud of how far you’ve come. But I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t want to worry.” 

I remember the day I found him slouched at the picnic table. If I would have been a few more minutes we might not be sitting here right now. I really don’t want to think what would happen if I don’t get to him in time and he OD’s while I'm at work. 

I keep checking my phone to see the time. My body is at work, and I am going through the motions, checking patients in. Answering phones. But my mind, my mind is at home with Frankie. I wonder what he is doing.  Has he had lunch, did he take a shower, did he change? Did he do a line of coke, did he call Nicole? 

I reach for my phone when the bell on the door chimes. My head still down when Laura elbows me in the rubs and I look up seeing a drop dead gorgeous man walk in the door. Short brown hair, styled in that way where it looks he ran his hands through it after a shower and called it good.  It looked so soft. Sun-kissed skin, a Romanesque nose.  Wearing a suit that fits his shoulders and muscles just right. He had a profile that romance novel authors write about.

“That’s the new sales rep I mentioned” Laura whispers as he walks closer to our receptionist desk

“Good afternoon ladies” he says with a smile that you just know gets him exactly what he wants every time. His voice is like butter, and damn can someone be attracted to a voice?

I smile at him, glancing at Laura who looks like she is about to pass out 

“Hi” she says, batting her eyelashes at him, “what did you bring us today?” 

“Just some new test gowns for patients. They are easier to tie when alone” he smiled again and I swear there is a twinkle in his eye 

“Oh hi, I’m Dave. I don’t think we’ve met before” he looks at me and I am pretty sure my heart stops with the way he’s looking at me 

“Al…Al” why can’t I remember my name 

“Alex” Laura coughs

“Hi…hello, yeah I’m Alex. Alexandra” I return his smile and shake his outstretched hand. My heart beats faster as our hands touch and my face feels hot 

His hands are soft, gentle but strong. I don’t know why but I don’t want to let go of his hand. After what I am sure is an extremely awkward amount of time he is pulling his hand away. I could be imagining it, but his eyes stay locked on mine. “It was really nice meeting you Alexandra. You ladies have a good afternoon and I’ll see you next week” 

I don’t say anything, I just sit there and nod like. Weirdo while Laura waves bye to Dave as he heads out the door. 

“Who the fuck was that?” I ask once my brain starts to function again 

“Dave’s our new sales rep and we’re in love” she smiles “he just doesn’t know that yet” she twirls her long blonde hair around her finger. 

Laying on the couch, my hands under my head.  I’m counting the little black specks I find on the ceiling. 

3,452

Did the day always go by this slow?  It feels like it’s been 12 hours…I look at the clock. It’s been three. It wasn’t even time for lunch yet. I was beyond bored, if I was in rehab I would be looking for excuses to not go to the round table therapy. Finding new ways to avoid talking, waiting for Nicole to co-I closes my eyes. 

After a few moments I sit up and make my way to his room, still sitting on his desk untouched was the stack of pamphlets that cop gave me. I pick one up and start to look at it. ‘Let us guide you’. I roll his eyes seeing a picture of a business type man, standing with his hands in his pockets in the front of a podium. 

“Nope” I pop the ‘p’ not even bothering to open it and drop it in the trash

The next one, a few men and women in military fatigues. In big bold letters, ‘FIND YOUR HIGHER POWER’ a class for veterans run by veterans. I rub his face, the VA rehab didn’t work and this for sure wasn’t gonna help. “No, thank you” I toss it in the trash with the other one. 

It felt like an hour had passed, I knew she should be home soon.  I looks at the clock on the night stand, it was 20 minutes.  There was a small part of me that wanted a hit.  She’s at work, she’ll never know.  My hands twitch, I pick up his phone, my fingers hovering over Steve’s name…

I know I shouldn’t, I’ve been trying to stay clean.  I wants to stay clean, but every fiber in my being wants a little fun.  A notification appears, a new text message and my heart stops for a brief moment.

I was ready for the day to be over, I wanted to go home.  I wanted to check on Frankie, make sure he was doing ok.  But, I still had hours to go, calling him every hour felt like I was babying him and I didn’t want that, but I was also worried that being alone the temptation was going to be too much.  I deleted George, but I knew he had others, I knew if he wanted it bad enough he’d find a way. 

     Me: Hey, How’s it going?

     Fishie 🐟: Have hours always ticked by this slowly?

     Me: Valid question, I don’t know.  But it feels like I have been here for a week, and I still have two hours left. 

     Fishie 🐟: It feels like you have been gone for a year.                          I need paint.

Crap, why in the hell does he need paint? What did he do?

     Me: Why? Franklin, what did you do?

     Fishie 🐟: I fixed the hole in the wall

     Me: Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.  

     Fishie 🐟: Well I am the reason there was a hole, I needed to fix it

I can’t help but smile, my heart melts a little at his words.  I remember that night, it was the first time I think I was scared of him, what he could do.  The anger in his eyes, the way his nostrils flared.  He’s never hurt me, he’s never laid a hand on me, except for our awkward hugs.  But I have never seen that look, the look of rage, horror and pain.  I can honestly save it’s a look I hope to never see again.  I responded telling him I will stop on my way home and I would grab some dinner for us. 

With paint in one hand, and a bag of food in the other I walk in the door, shouting a little ‘honey, I’m home’ kicking the door closed behind me and making my way to the kitchen to set the bag of food.  He didn’t respond.  I don’t know what I was expecting, Frankie running out and wrapping me in a hug.  Frankie squealing with excitement, I don’t know.  Really I was expecting anything to let me know that he heard me. I set the food on the table and go in search of Frankie.  

His bedroom light is on, I move closer but I don’t hear anything.  I turn to the open door and find him lying on the bed.  Not sure if he is asleep, I tap on the door gently before I step in.  I know it's my house and all, but he still deserves respect for his privacy and me not just walking into his room.  I thought I was being quiet but his head instantly lifts up to see me walking into his room before lying down again. 

“Do you know how many little black specks there are in this room?” he asks his voice flat

“What?” I look up to the ceiling, honestly I didn’t even know there was black speck in the paint.  I never changed the ceiling paint color when I moved in.  It was white and I just kinda left it

“There are 2,873…” he says sitting up, “and there are 3,452 in the living room” 

“Hmmm” I comment still looking up, what do you know if you look close enough there are little black specks

“There are 643 in the bathroom” he moves closer, wrapping my entire body into a bear hug, “I was really fucking bored without you” 

I don’t know if I should smile or be seriously concerned about this. I wrap my free arm around his waist returning his hug.  He took a shower today, and he smells amazing.  He smells like Christmas.  Cinnamon, fennel and pine.  There’s also something so uniquely Frankie that I can’t put my exact finger on it.  He has clean clothes too I notice, and while the counting of the little black specks has me worried.  I am proud of him for taking small steps without me telling him to shower.

“I got a surprise for you” I grin and pull back from the hug

“More stickers?”

“Why don’t you go to the kitchen and find out” 

I watch as he all but runs to the kitchen, I stay by his bedroom and he cheers when he sees the bag of Thai food on the table. ‘THANK YOU’ I hear him yell.  The feelings I get are indescribable, it feels like he has been living here with me for years. As each day passes I think I am falling in love with him.  I can’t fall in love with him, my brothers will kill me if I did. 

“I found a NA meeting place…class?” he says putting more food on his plate

“That’s great” 

“It’s a few nights a week.  The paper said I can go once a week or to all of them” 

Maybe having something planned in my schedule would make the day go faster.  Knowing I had something to do might help my mind not think about it.  I was so close to texting Steve for a few rocks.  Just a few…enough to get by until Benny was home again.  Hell I was close to texting Nicole just to have something, or someone to do.  I’ve been living with Alex for a little over a month, and while things were good I wanted to go home.  Benny would give him my space, I could get fucked up and Benny would never notice.  That, and I was falling for Alex. I can’t fall for her, she was off limits.

“I think that’s great” she smiles at him.  She’s proud of me, the smile on her face says it all, “maybe you can find ways to help fight the urge.  Find out how I can help you” I nod “cuz I have no fucking clue what I am doing”

The next day wasn’t any better.

Lunch had rolled around and Laura had left me alone at the desk. It was a slow day, so the workload was pretty easy. I finish up a phone call when the little bell on the door chimes letting me know someone had walked in.  I love up and see Dave walking towards me, damn was he hot. I smile at him and put the phone down.

I notice he doesn’t have anything in his hands this time, like he did yesterday.  Maybe Laura and him were really a thing. 

“Hey Dave, Laura is at lunch if you wanna come back” 

“I actually came to see you” his lips curve up, and there was that damn gleam in his eyes again

“Oh?” Was the best response I could think of at the time

“So, I know we just met and this sounds kinda crazy but…” he starts

“Here’s your number so call you maybe” the fuck was that Alex I think

He laughs, ok maybe that response wasn’t as bad as I thought.  Why did I become so socially awkward when a handsome man was standing in front of me and I think he was flirting. 

“Something like that, I was wondering if you might like to join me for dinner on Friday?” he asks 

Wait, is he serious? Did he just ask me out?  Is this really happening?  I think my brain stopped working for a few moments, then I heard his voice again “Alex?”

“YES” I say a little to loudly, he chuckles “yes, Dave that would be great”

We exchanged numbers, he said he’d pick me up on Friday around 8 for dinner. 

I stood by the front door, adjusting my hair one last time before Dave was to arrive.  Frankie watched me like a hawk from the couch. Ever since I told him about my date, he had been weird.  Not wanting me to leave his side when we were home. I didn’t know what was going on, he was being clingy and we weren’t even dating. 

“Where are you going?” He asks

“I have a date, I told you” I sigh 

“And your wearing that?” 

She was in a little black dress.  The hem stopped mid thigh, it hugged every single one of her curves perfectly.  The deep v-neck not leaving much to the imagination.  The small strings holding it together in a complicated, twisting pattern down her back.  There was no way I was going to let her be going out of the house like this.  I didn’t know Dave, but I didn’t need to know exactly where his thoughts were going to be seeing her dressed like this. Her hair was effortlessly curly tonight, flowing like a wave down her shoulders.  She looked like an angel in every sense of the word. Her makeup was simple, enhancing her beauty and I was jealous of this guy getting to take her out. 

“Yes, is there a problem?” She slips into her black stilettos that only enhanced her long toned legs

“Yeah, there is” I was angry that she was going out with this man who was probably better than me in every way. “You look like a…a…” I stutter

“A what Francisco?” She hears a car pulling into her driveway and she grabs her dark green leather jacket

“Fuck, you just..ugh…you like Iike your asking for it” I finally says and the doorbell rings

‘Shit, did I really just say that?’  I wanted to be Dave, he wanted to be the one taking her out for dinner.  I wanted to be the one she was wearing a dress like that for. My heart has belonged to her, but I am to much of a dumbass to do anything about it

“Fuck you, I’ll be back later” her words laced with anger as she opens the door.  “Hey Dave, lets go” her voice suddenly cheerful as she slams the door closed behind her. 

Strike two…at this rate I might as well pack up my shit and leave before she gets back. She is the one working, she is the one providing for me while I sit in my room feeling sorry for myself counting stupid little black specks of paint on the ceiling. I went to one class and hated it.  I reach for my phone on the coffee table

“Hello?” The voice on the other end answers

“Hey, wanna get fucked up tonight?” I ask

“Never thought you asked.  I got some good stuff, meet at Hangers?” 

“Yes please. Let’s do this, I need to forget” 

Talking with Dave was easy. The conversation flowed and there was never an awkward moment.  Dave told me about his time working for the FBI, crime scene detective but things weren’t working the way he wanted to, he felt trapped and wanted something else.

“So now you try to convince people to buy overpriced medical supplies?” I grin  

“I can be very convincing when I want to be” he smiles, “I convinced you to go out with me” 

“Fair” 

I should be enjoying my time with this handsome man sitting in front of me, I shouldn’t be thinking about Frankie.  But that is exactly what is happening. We’ve had a rough few days, ever since I told him about my date that afternoon and I hate that we got into an argument before I left. Dave had asked if I wanted to go for a short walk around the lake and with my mind only half functioning I agreed to it.  His fingers slowly intertwine with mine. 

We stop in front of a little fountain with a small stringed band. A violin, a cello, and a harp play lovely music.  Dave spins me and places a hand on my waist as we sway to the music. I placed a hand on his shoulder, there was a part of me that thinks he had this entire thing planned. It was too perfect, then there’s the hopeless romantic in me that is loving every minute of it.  We continue to dance as more couples join us. 

“I use to be in a band” his lips brush over my ear sending a shiver down my spin

He pulls back smiling at me, my fingertips gently playing with the short hair at the nape of my neck.  He leans in closer to me and I close my eyes waiting for our lips to touch when I hear the undeniable ringtone ‘Highway to the danger zone…’ begins to play from my back pocket.  Trying to ignore the call, I pull Dave’s face closer when the song begins to play again.

“Shit, I’m sorry” I shake my head and back away from him.  I don’t even look at the name on the caller ID to know it’s him. “What do you want now?” I answer a little annoyed

“Ms. Miller?” 

“Very funny Franklin” I don’t hear a laugh from the other end “Frankie?” 

“Is this Alex” the voice says again, it’s hard to hear over the music and crowd hum in the background 

“Yes it is, is everything ok?” sudden panic washing over me

“Hi, I’m Clint, down at Handlebars, and your friend here is very intoxicated and might be on some kind of drug. But he is trying to start fights with other patrons. I do what I can to not call the cops, but ma’am he is getting out of hand, and I need you to come get him” the voice becomes clearer

“Fuck,” I pinch the bridge of my nose, “I’m not close its going to be a little bit before I can get there” 

“We have him sitting outside at the moment, but if he tries to punch someone again, I will have to have the police involved” 

“Can I talk to him for a minute?” I ask 

Why was he doing this?

A couple lines of coke, two beers and a half dozen of tequila shots later I was feeling pretty damn good. I was currently in the bathroom, with some blonde chick's lips on my dick. I knew I wasn’t going to last long after all the shit I’ve  taken but damn did it feel good. 

“Shit…” I mutter, gathering her hair in a fist behind her head, bracing myself against the sink with the other. One more deep throat by her and I was a goner.  My cock still pulsing as she lets me go. Standing up, she wipes her face before leaning in giving me a sloppy kiss. 

“That was fun…” she pats my cheek, “…find me again some time” she flips her hair back unlocking the door she steps out leaving me alone. Pants still around his ankles, heart racing as I try to catch my breath. 

I reach over and locks the door, grabbing a paper towel I turn on the water and clean myself up.  I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes red with dark circles below them. I look like I had aged 15 years from just this morning. I should be feeling great, I finally had cocaine back in my system, I was buzzed, and I just got a free blow job from Kitty? Maybe that was her name. Frankly I didn’t care, I also forgot the minute her lips touched mine. The only thing I could think about was how disappointed Alex was going to be in me. I should go home. 

I step out of the bathroom and make the trek back to the bar next to Steve. Walking past the set of pool tables I stumble into a big burly biker. Leather vests, tattooed arms, a bandanna wrapped around his head with a long salt and pepper beard. 

“Watch where your walking” the man grunts 

“Make me fucker” I slur 

The large man shoves me from behind making me stumble into a table full of empty glasses. I turn around, bringing my fist back. I go to punch the man who shoved me. My hand moved slowly then my brain was working and the large biker threw his own punch hitting me on the check. A gash opens along my cheek and blood begins to flow. A bouncer steps in pulling us apart. He drags me outside, and sets me on a bench around the corner of the building. 

Steve is nowhere to be found and now a young punk looking kid is yelling at me for disturbing the peace inside his bar. Demanding me to give him my phone before threatening to get the police involved. Begrudgingly I unlock the phone and hand it over. 

“Ms. Miller” I hear him say 

Shit…strike three. 

The man handed me my phone back, I shoved it in his pocket. And with that he was gone leaving me alone with the bouncer. I lean back, head hitting the brick wall behind me. The high I was feeling moments ago, now fading realizing that there is a 95% chance that Alex was not going to forgive me. 

“Thanks, I am so sorry” I unbuckle my seatbelt

“Are you going to be ok?” Dave asks placing a hand on top of my thigh

I take a deep sigh, honestly I didn’t know. I was having fun, it was turning out to be a good night, then Frankie called. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was upset. But I don’t want to drag Dave down with me. I turn my head to face him, giving him a quick kiss to his check. 

“Yeah, I’ll be good. Thank you again” I say opening the door 

“Call me when you get home” I nod and close the door. 

I walked into the bar, stopped by a burly man who I guessed was a bouncer. “Can I help you?” He asks 

“Yeah I’m looking for uhm Cliff? Clint maybe…the owner he has my friend” I couldn’t remember the name of the man now that I was here. Hurt, anger, disappointment so many emotions and I was going to have to keep them in check when I got to Frankie. Clearly being the ‘friend’ wasn’t working and I was going to need a different approach. 

“Are you Mrs. Miller?” The bouncer asks 

“Ms. but yes” 

“Outside, to the right. Let him know he’s now allowed back. Gary doesn’t want to press charges but your friend is trespassed from here” 

‘Press charges? He’s trespassed? Fuck what did he do?’ My thoughts are racing, did I really want to know. He had been in a mood since I told him about my date, and yet here I am recusing him yet again. 

I walk back outside and look to the right, not seeing right away. I walk down to the edge of the building and turn the corner, finding him sitting on a beat up wooden bench with a large man acting like a bodyguard. He was the size of a tree, his arms were massive and I’m fairly sure he could squish someone like a bug if he wanted to. 

Frankie in his usual tan colored Carhartt jacket, his favorite black baseball cap pulled down low. He turns my direction when he hears my heels on the pebbles. He has a long gash on his left cheek, dried blood under it. He continues to sit there, more anger floods my veins. 

“There she is, there’s my girl” 

I stop in front of him, my arms crossed over my body. This is where the relationship changes, I will no longer be sweet, it’s time to lay down the law and get his ass clean. 

“Get up” my voice is stern

He doesn’t move, he continues to sit there. A small smile pulling on his lips, acting as if he isn’t a complete fucking disaster. He raises his arms and makes grabby hands, beckoning me to come help him. I shake my head no. 

“Get the fuck up Morales” I cross my arms, he needs to know I’m upset and his little act isn’t going to help me. I swear I hear the tree of man chuckle at the situation playing out in front of him. 

“Help Me” he turns his head looking at me with this sad puppy eyes, this eyes he knows I can’t say no to

“No. You got into this, now get up” I am trying to not break, but he knows what to do to get me to break 

Groaning, he places his hands on the edge of the bench and pushes himself up. He sways where he is standing. He looks at his feet, his mind willing his feet to move. Putting his left food in front of the right and he stumbles. Before thinking I move to him. My heels make us the same height and easier for him to lean against me. Wrapping his arm over my shoulder I wrap mine around his waist. Adjust his hold on me he leans his head against mine, “I knew you’d catch me” he slurs 

“You’re on thin ice Francisco, don’t push it” I groan as he leans all his weight into me

“Mi Cielito” he says softly

“Where’d you park?” I ask, my hand readjusting around his hip as he holds me like a cutch and we stumble in the parking lot 

He shrugs, “don’t remember” his face is towards me, I scrunch my face as he reeks of alcohol 

After what feels like an hour of wandering around this parking lot, his truck finally comes into view, of course Frankie would be back in the back, in the middle of nowhere. Sighing a ‘thank god’, I hope he didn’t hear.  I stop by the passenger door, and I lean him against it, praying that he doesn’t fall.  Reaching into his coat pocket I pull out the keys and unlock the door. I grab him by the waist and turn his body into the truck. 

“You could at least by me dinner first” he chuckles adjusting his body in the car

“Shut up Francisco, you still have the first aid kit in here?” I ask looking under the front seat before moving to the back

Before Frankie can answer I pull out a little red box, his head leaning against the headrest. I watch as he struggles to keep his eyes open. With the first aid open, I rip open the wet-nap. I take his chin and gently turn his head towards me so I can see what I am doing better. The street lamp offers minimal light. I clean the dried blood on his cheek, and expect the gash. Tossing that at Frankie’s feet, I grab a towel from the kit and as carefully as I can dap the area dry. He flinches in pain. Finally I open the antibiotic cream, and rub a line of it over the cut hoping to keep it clean for the moment.

“It doesn’t look like you need stitches” I tell him, “what the fuck happened?”

“I got punched” he mumbles “asshole”

“Yeah, I can see you got punched, what did you do?” I ask again

“He shoved me, then I tried to punch him and he hit first” he rolls his eyes “are you mad?” 

Honestly, I didn’t know anymore. I was angry at him. I thought we were doing well, but that just proved to me this little sticker thing was a dumb idea from the start. I was sad, I was hurt, disappointed, but with all these feelings, the word mad didn’t come up anymore. I was worried about him. 

“I don’t know…” I turn his body forward, reaching behind him I grab the seat belt and lean over his body to hook it in. “I really don’t know anymore” I sigh and close the door 

The drive home was silent, he had his head against the window and I couldn’t tell if he was asleep, or just trying to ignore me. He tried to tell me how unsafe driving barefoot was, but driving with those heels and this truck was more dangerous than whatever gross shit was on his floor.  

“How much did you drink?” I ask

“A couple beers, half dozen shots of tequila…” he pauses, “also…did a few hits of coke” 

“Frankie…” I sigh

Before I can ask him, he begins to tell me he didn’t mean to. He wanted to forget, he wanted to numb the pain. He didn’t know what else to do, so he called a friend. They did a few lines, then went into the bar. I know I shouldn’t, but I feel guilty. I feel like his slip is my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone on a date. Work was one thing, but me going on a date made me feel worse. I wasn’t there when he needed me.  

“Are you mad?” I ask again, but he doesn’t look at her, he can’t handle it. 

I wasn’t worried about her being mad.  No, mad I could handle that. However, the answer she gave me, that’s the answer that hurts the most. Disappointment, it was worse than being mad or angry. I could work with those. But, disappointment was the worst. I was now at rock bottom. I shake my head, and lean against the window. Closing my eyes and praying they wouldn’t re-open. 

I feel her hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me “hey sleepy head. Time to wake up, we’re home” 

I groan and lean further into the door trying to escape her touch. My eyes stay closed “sleepy time here” 

“You aren’t sleeping in your truck, let’s get inside. You think you can help me?” She asks

“Oomppf” I groans, when the door I’m leaning against opens, the seat belt doing its job and keeping me up right in the car

Alex reaches into the truck and unhooks the seatbelt, grabbing my hands and she helps me slide out of the truck. She draps one of my arms over her shoulder, and wraps one around my waist, letting me lean against her.  Our height difference isn’t much, but she is supporting most of my weight. 

“Step…” she says and I lift a foot. The two of us stumble up the steps and my head is hurting. I really wish she would have just left me in the truck. 

We stop at the door, my arm moves, readjusting my grip holding on to her. Standing at the front door holding on to me with one hand, while the other fumbles with his keys trying to find the house key. I know I shouldn’t laugh but watching her struggle makes me chuckle. 

“Oh you think this is funny do you?” She’s frustrated and I just made it worse

I knew laughing was bad, but I couldn't help it when she was still struggling with the keys. She turned her focus to me, eyes narrow as she glares. She was cute when she was flustered. I press my lips together. Trying to hold back another laugh. It didn’t work as my eyes locked on to her and I snorted and laughed more. Laugh lines forming at the corner of my eyes I knew I was breaking her down and it would be impossible for her to stay mad at me. 

“If I let you go, you're not gonna fall are you?” She asks, her voice something between concern and anger. I just shrug, I probably would fall but she doesn’t need to know the truth 

Annoyed with my answer she sighs. I moved closer to her, she was warm, despite her anger and frustration with me. She was safe. She felt like home. I lean against her still struggling with the door. Finally, after a ten minute fight with the door she gets it opened. We stumble into the dark house. Thankfully getting the door locked on the inside was a much easier battle. 

“Alright Franklin, let’s get you to bed” 

My hallway is definitely not big enough for two people to walk side by side especially when one of the people is drunk. I try to position myself in front of Frankie, both his arms over my shoulders as his chest rests against my back. 

We reach his room and I move him towards his bed. I turn him and help him sit down. His hat had fallen off someone along the journey into his room. I slide off his jacket, turning to hang it in the chair. In slow motion Frankie begins to fall back “no..no…no” I grab his arm just in time keeping him up right on the bed. If he fell backwards I knew trying to undress him would be impossible.  

“Ok arms up” I say, he follows my order and lifts his arms above his head. 

“So bossy” he mumbles as I take the shirt off and toss it towards his dirty laundry pile. 

My hands rest on his broad shoulders. The muscle definition is still very evident in his biceps. I pray he doesn’t notice my eyes wander down his bare chest, briefly holding at his tattoo. I’ve never really looked at it this close. 

His hands reach for the hem of my dress, slowly beginning to lift it higher on my thigh. “You’re turn” he says before I catch his wrists 

“You’re drunk” I say softly and he shrugs

“Didn’t stop some people” 

I’m sure it didn’t, Frankie never had a problem getting girls, but I don’t know thinking about him being with others makes me slightly jealous, I shake my head and let go of his wrists. 

I bend down in front of him, his hands resting on my shoulders as I untie his shoes. He takes the hint and works with me to get his shoes off.  I start to stand up, “what about my pants?” he almost falls forward giggling. Good to know he still thinks this is funny “I don’t like pants” 

I roll my eyes and lean forward reaching for his belt buckle. I undo it and the button to his jeans. He falls back lifting his hips just enough for me to slide them off tossing it with the shirt. “There, are you happy?” 

He shuffles under the sheets, before I can go he grabs my hand “stay?” He asks. I don’t even have to look at him to know the look he’s giving me. Batting his eyes, his bottom lip quivers, using his big brown eyes to his advantage 

“Frankie, I can’t…” I sigh 

“Please?” 

I squeeze her hand, he doesn’t want to be alone. “Just till I fall asleep?” I add 

“Fine, just tell you fall asleep” I watch as she slides off her leather jacket and sets it on the back of my chair. Turning the light off, she shuffled back to me

I slide back, giving her enough room to lay down. I’m on my side, has my arm out. She lays down using my one arm as a pillow and I drape the other over her. She pulls the cover up. My hand resting on her hip. I lean into her resting my forehead against her temple breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. Hints of cherry and strawberry fill my senses. It smells like summer, it smells like home. 

Her hand rubs up and down my forearm in a soothing fashion. I feel so comfortable with her here. It’s where I want to keep her. 

“He’s not good enough for you” I say softly 

“What?” She twists her head to look at me

My eyes open to see hers staring at me, “Your date tonight” 

“You don’t even know him” she sighs 

“No one will be good enough for you Alex” I grip her tighter pulling her closer to me. I lean in closer to her. I want to kiss her, I want her to know how I feel. As much as I don’t think the guy she went out with today isn’t good enough, I know I’m not good enough either. 

She sighs again, turning her head to stare at the ceiling. Her finger tips brush over my skin. My thumb strokes her hip over her black dress. A black dress I wished was on the floor. 

I lift my head, leaning closer. I stick out my tongue and lick the side of her face. From check to temple. When her hands go still on my arm, but don’t move away I smile and lay my head back down. 

Twisting her head to look at me, I watch as she smiles back at me. My smile widens, I know my dimple appears and she shakes her head, “did you just lick me?” 

“I did…” I sigh and close my eyes again. Sleep just on the horizon. I hear her ask me why, “to say your mine. Like when you like something when your a kid you don’t want someone else to have” 

“Frankie” she sighs 

“You’re too good for him” and by him - I really meant myself. 

ANN: A huge shout out to @musings-of-a-rose for helping me with this and giving me confidence to post this in first person. I am still terrified of it. @theewokingdead and @heythere-mel for listening to my random ass ideas at all hours. I love each and every one of you.

Looking for more of my fics check out my masterlist. And check out other writers at @littlemisspascal and their library for all Pedro Characters

[aquariusdeanw]

The thing that I hate the most about this new weave of anime fans is that they’ve generalized anime like other people do with other types of media.

For example, now people only watch “S tier seinen” because they’re the best, they’re peak fiction, the only thing worth watching.

You can bet your ass that they limit their watching/reading to berserk, vagabond, vinland saga, oyasumi pun pun, monster, etc.

Now, there is nothing wrong with liking seinen, I love seinen. It’s just that “weebs” discard every other genre of anime because for them dark seinens are superior.

Otakus weren’t like that. The thing I liked about our fandom, was that there was no shame in enjoying other genre of anime.

Film bros would hate to watch romcoms, romance movies; for them there is a certain embarrassment around watching “girl movies”. But otakus? They didn’t care about that. Your lie in April? Good. Ano Hana? Good. Clannad? They’d call you and say that was the best and saddest thing they’ve ever watched.

The whole “the big three aren’t that good, these seinen should be called that”. Completely disregard the impact that those shonen had on the manga/anime of the time. Not to talk about the complete obsession over proving that your favorite shonen is better than another. I swear to you IT WASN’T LIKE THIS BEFORE. Yeah there may have been some rivalry between like one piece fans and naruto fans, but it was never this toxic.

The complete abandonment of “slice of life” anime because for them the episodes feel like filler, expecting shonen to act like seinen and getting mad when notorious shonen trope is used, and the absolute lack of patience when it comes to slightly slow pacing. I could go on and on, and I just wish that things could go back to the way they were before. We were all fucking bullied for liking cartoons at “our big age” and the fandom made us feel not alone.

There was no “You like demon slayer? MID. it’s just the animation that carries the story. My hero academia? BORING, it follows the same shonen tropes that all the other shonen have, just read aot at this point.”

I’m not claiming there should be the death of personal opinions, quite the opposite in fact. Lately it seems that everybody’s taste is the same. if you ask 5 people their top 5 anime, 3 of those anime will be the same for these 5 people.

We used to share our different interests, now it’s like everyone is locked in the same echo chamber.

Go watch your slice of life anime! Talk about that shōjo! Watch that weird horror with only 4 episodes and 1 OVA! Recommend the super predictable shonen that makes you laugh! Drop that seinen that you’re not enjoying even if everyone says it’s peak fiction! Read that sport manga with impossible moves to replicate in real life!

BRING DIVERSE GENRE OF ANIME AND MANGA BACK