#nim deserved SO MUCH BETTER

[unphasedslacker]

i adore the "cale uses everyone as a pillow" agenda !! part of my hc is that he has an internal rating system for it, it consists of the following points:

comfort - how comfortable is the not-actually pillow? durability - can they handle him clinging, tossing and turning, etc? how far can he go before they decide to wake him up? duration - how long can he rest on them?

i have already thought of a few potential set ratings, and will probably add more later on!

Choi Han

the first time it happened, it was an accident. although the vitality of the heart keeps him from getting tired even after only sleeping for an hour or two, when it comes down to it, it's just not enough.

cale sat down on the comfortable couch in his room, he and the others had just returned from their travels to the henituse territory. the red-head had every intention of resting, as soon as he finished up his discussion with choi han. he needed to make sure the korean wasn't left to his own devices, who knows what might occur if he were - cale shuddered at the thought of the swordmaster destroying the training grounds out of boredom. better not dwell on it.

said man took a seat next to cale, keeping a respectful distance, and looked at him expectantly - like a puppy waiting for it's well-deserved treat. the aristocrat talked for a while, giving commands and suggestions, and making sure that choi han knew everything on the training grounds, be it weaponry or other, was available for him to use, when he was suddenly hit with intense drowsiness. cale blinked once, twice, before continuing where he left off, albeit a bit slower.

it only took a minute before choi han found himself with an unconscious red-head on his lap, using his clothed thighs as his pillow. the korean wasn't sure what to do, face red from embarrassment (read: he's flustered) - should he call for ron?

...

better not, that butler will take his head when sees them like this.

choi han let his gaze fall on the man who'd showed him nothing but kindness since their first meeting, giving and giving and asking for little to nothing in return, and decided that this was fine. cale hasn't rested properly in weeks, so the fact that he fell asleep the moment the two of them were alone felt like an honour more than anything. did he trust him so much that cale felt safe enough to finally relax? (he'd like to think so...)

yes, this was quite the honour.

'don't worry, cale-nim. i won't let anyone, or anything, get near you.'

if said man could've heard choi han's thoughts, he would've spit blood.

Rating ✨

3/5 comfort (ch's thighs are muscular, and cale did feel safe while asleep.. we don't talk about how he felt when he woke up), 5/5 durability (ch wouldn't dare to do anything to disturb cale's sleep), 5/5 duration (same as durability, ch would sit in the same spot, not daring to move even a muscle, to ensure cale's 100% comfort)

overall: 13/15, choi han makes a really good pillow

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 288

Brief summary: CH and Clopeh had a talk instead of a duel. Cale arrived at the emperor's palace.

==========

This chapter was so good! 🥰🥰🥰 I expected that the two would fight, but they only conversed. Nevertheless, their conversation revealed a lot about what kind of person Clopeh was.

CH believed that Clopeh was unsuited to be a guardian knight. Clopeh followed the path of a shadow, but a guardian knight must walk at the forefront. For CH, Lock would be a better guardian knight than Clopeh. But Clopeh's rebuttal left him speechless.

-What if a very strong enemy appears in front of Cale? Will you lay down your life to save Cale? But if you save Cale, the others will die. Raon and the kittens. Mary, Rosalyn, Tasha, and Lock. But if you don't save Cale, the others can be saved. What will you do?

My goodness, Clopeh asks questions that hit hard, especially for CH. Both knew that whatever the choice, Cale would be hurt. CH was hesitant, but Clopeh was not.

-I don't care if you all die, I don't care if I die, I don't care if my family dies. Of course, Cale-nim would be sad if all of his companions were killed. That's the kind of person he is. That is why he has the qualities of a great hero. So I will not turn my sword against Cale-nim's allies. But you and Cale-nim. Me and Cale-nim. If I could only save one of you, it would definitely be Cale-nim.

Clopeh-nim!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 He's really going all-in on Cale even if he loses everything else.

"Choi Han. Do you think you are a knight?" A knight. For some reason, Choi Han couldn't open his mouth easily. No answer came easily to him. Clopeh's eyes were like a green swamp. A swamp so deep that once you were dragged in, you couldn't get out. And they were filled with an intense longing. It was a desperate longing for something. Clopeh said in a nonchalant tone. "I think I am a knight." Even if he became a shadow and acted like an assassin. He never forgot that he had started out as a knight. He lived as a knight. "And do you know what a knight means?" Knighthood meant different things to different people. And for Clopeh. "For me, it's a conviction." For him, chivalry is conviction. "A knight must never compromise his conviction." Therefore, a knight who compromises his conviction was useless, and should not compromise his conviction. "And my conviction is-" Choi Han seemed to know what Clopeh's conviction might be. Clopeh spoke calmly. My conviction is, "Cale-nim." Choi Han felt like he was losing strength. He couldn't help but stare into those deep green eyes. The knight named Clopeh spoke. "His path is my conviction." Cale's path is my conviction, my reason for being a knight. Clopeh could say that without the slightest hesitation. That is why he would die for Cale, and he would do anything to save him.

KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Clopeh-nim, you're as awesome and crazy as always! ❤️❤️❤️ 🤣🤣🤣 Google Translate used the word "belief", but I stuck with DeepL's translation of "conviction" because it was better. After all, a conviction is a strong belief, and what Clopeh expressed was his strong belief for Cale.

And thus, CH could not help but acknowledge that Clopeh deserved to be Cale's guardian knight. Clopeh passed CH's test. But CH warned Clopeh that if he lost his conviction, he would kill Clopeh. And Clopeh was fine with that. It was funny that the two called each other as a "crazy bastard" though. 😂

Ending Remarks As a Clopeh fan, I love this chapter so much~! I would like to see a duel, but delving into Clopeh's thoughts and conviction was also good. Next chapter would be Cale meeting with the emperor again. Expect lots of scamming and DA showing off his power.

[shinestarhwaa]

16,25,32,69-yunsanhwa please? thxx.!

I got a little too excited with this one HAHA I'm sorry, I hope you enjoy it cuz I rly did xo

WHAT HAPPENS IN LONDON || YUNSANHWA

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Ateez!Yunho/San/Seonghwa x manager!reader

Word Count: 3k

Tags/warnings: Idol!AU, Dom!Yunho, Dom!San, Sub!Seonghwa, Sub!reader, Foursome, Dirty Talk, M x M (only SanHwa), bottom!Seonghwa, top!San, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, anal sex (m receiving), lots of orgasms, handjob, Seonghwa is a wee bit pervy, voyeurism

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123 @mjyungi

ENJOY!

It had been a fun evening so far, walking around the city with the three boys. They treated you on a meal and you showed them various locations and even took videos of their silly Tiktok ideas.

They were lovely really, very different from the artists you had worked with before. You've had two managing jobs before but they didn't last long because of various reasons, but you got hired by KQ for Ateez and you couldn't be happier.

It paid well and they treated you nicely. They always made you laugh and made sure you were comfortable while you're the one who should take care of them instead. Somewhere in your heart you felt like they truly cared for you and you really felt like you didn't deserve them.

After safely getting them back to their hotel, San invited you and the other two boys into his room for a nightcap. After some begging and pleading you finally agreed and entered his room.

As Seonghwa and Yunho had already sat down on the chairs you stood a little awkwardly beside San's bed, drink in your hand. "Just sit, manager-nim," San pouted, pulling your sweater. You couldn't help but smile at the boy and you nodded, sitting down next to him.

The conversation carried on normally until Yunho decided to ask you more personal questions. "So, you're not involved with anyone, manager-nim?" He asked. You shook your head and laughed a bit sheepish. "No, it has been a while, I'm too busy with you idiots," you answered with a grin.

"Oh, really? Well then I'm sorry," Yunho apologized, "we should make up for that in some way right?"

You locked eyes with Yunho as your mouth went dry. What did he mean by that? "I mean, it is only fair," he carried on, "you're taking good care of us as our manager, Y/N, but who's gonna take care of you?"

The way his name fell off your lips made you feel all tingly, a feeling you tried to ignore and block out, but it was impossible because his deep voice send shivers and all kinds of signals directly down to your core.

"I-I...," you stammered, "I can take perfectly good care of myself, I have my own apartment and I don't have debts-." "I believe that isn't what Yunho meant," Seonghwa chimed in. His stare was a little more intense than you were used to from him, his soft and shiny boba eyes gone.

"You know what we mean," San suddenly hushed by your ear, "who's there to please you? I bet we can do it better than you and your little toys could." "T-toys?" You gasped. "We know what's in that red bag of yours, remember the day you slept in our hotelroom last month?" San asked, reminiscing the night where you lost your keys so you crashed on their couch.

"You looked in my bag?" You asked, nervously. "Well, it was open for everyone to see so, yes, I saw what was in there," San confessed. "But believe me, my cock is bigger than that, I could please you so much better than that thing... I bet all three of us could."

You swallowed thickly and crossed your legs. "I-I don't know San, this all seems quite unprofessional," you muttered. "It's just one night, Y/N, and besides that, no one has to know about it," Yunho said. You hesitated, looking at the gorgeous men in front of you.

It was too good to be true right? Three hot and famous men wanting to have sex with you in a beautiful hotelroom on the other side of the world? But how could you say no if they looked at you like this?

"How... would that work?" You asked carefully, earning a few glances and smirks from the boys. "Well you know how sex works right? You can't be a virgin," San grinned. "No, no I know... I'm not a virgin," you said, blushing, "it's just... how would it work with the four of us...? You'd all be naked in front of each other, is that not a problem for you?"

San smirked and let his hand glide over your thigh. "I'm kinda excited about it, actually," he confessed. "Always have been curious about seeing their cocks hard and leaking...," he went on, "and Seonghwa hyungies hole."

Seonghwa blushed and his eyes went wide as he tried to hide his growing boner with his sweater. "Wh-whatt?" He giggled as he looked away, unable to face him. "You heard me." What did he say?

"I don't care what you guys want, all I know is that right know I'm gonna rip off those stupid tight clothes and I'm gonna ravish your naked body," Yunho grunted. "Hm, we'll share," San said.

San kissed your lips and you immediately melted in his embrace. You had always wondered what his arms felt like, his big strong arms that drove every woman on the planet absolutely insane and they felt great.

San kept kissing you as Yunho got on his knees in front of you, pulling down your skirt and spreading your legs a little, seeing the wet patch on your underwear. "Ooh, did we get you wet, Y/N?" Yunho smirked. You broke off the kiss with San, already missing his soft lips as you nodded and slipped your panties off. Yunho nearly growled at the sight of your bare pussy in front of him, running his hands over your soft thighs.

San undid your blouse and bra in a few simple motions, leaving you completely naked. You felt so exposed, looking at the three completely clothed boys and they caught up on it quickly. One by one they started to undress, leaving just their underwear on.

Yunho got between your legs again and licked a stripe up from the bottom of your cunt all the way to your clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. "O-Oh, Yunie," you panted out, making Yunho grin as he heard the nickname you always gave him roll from your tongue in the form of a moan.

"Yunie, Yunie, Yunie!" You moaned as he fucked you with his tongue and occasionally sucked on your clit. "Stay quiet dear, they'll be able to hear us," San smirked as he kissed your neck and fondled your breasts. You saw Seonghwa in the corner of the room, clearly nervous but palming his crotch as he watched Yunho eat your pussy.

"A-Are you not joining in, Seonghwa?" You asked him, as you were kind of hoping he would come closer and pleasure you. He was a little shy, but he nodded and came closer, sitting on your left side. "If we're gonna do this I want all three of you," you said in a husky tone as you kissed his neck and latched your tongue on his sensitive skin.

His brows furrowed and he swallowed thickly, clearly getting harder from your actions. Your hand reached Yunho's dark hair and pulled it slightly. He looked up at you from between your legs and moaned against your pussy as he kept eating you out.

"So when did you start thinking about fucking me?" You panted out as you grinded your sex on Yunho's tongue. "Hmm, for months now," he moaned against your cunt. You moaned out his name again, a little louder this time.

"You want them all to hear, don't you? You want everyone to hear how good Yunie's making you feel?" San smirked. You couldn't even form a proper sentence because Yunho was currently bringing you to fucking paradise on that skilled tongue. Your moans grew louder as your orgasm washed over you, body trembling in San's embrace.

"Fuck, that's so hot," Seonghwa breathed out as he watched Yunho ride out your orgasm, licking your pussy clean. "Yeah? You want in too, hyung?" San smirked. Seonghwa bit his lip and nodded. He really seemed to be a bit more submissive towards the other boys, wondering what he would be like to you.

"Kiss first then," San stated, pulling Seonghwa closer by his neck and crashing their lips together. Fuck. You were squished between them as they made out, your pussy clenching around nothing as you got needier and needier.

Suddenly you felt two of San's thick fingers in your cunt, pushing in and out of you, making you moan out. Seonghwa reached for your pussy too, rubbing your clit with his middlefinger as San kept fucking you with his fingers. You cried out and clenched around their fingers, the pleasure being so good. ''O-Oh my fucking God,'' you moaned out as Seonghwa picked up the pace. This way you could never last long.

Before you knew it you came again, arousal seeping out of you and coating San's fingers. The boys pulled their hands away and ended the kiss and San held his fingers in front of Seonghwa's mouth, ordering him to lick them off. Seonghwa sucked San's fingers clean while looking at him so intensely as you pulled San's underwear down.

San's dick was rather girthy and thick and it nearly made you drool. Wow, fuck. You got on your knees in front of him and Seonghwa followed your lead. ''I think our hyung is a little needy for cock, don't you think?'' Yunho grinned as he sat on one of the chairs, stroking his erection through his underwear. ''Are you needy for cock, Seonghwa hyung?'' San asked, raising his right eyebrow.

Seonghwa's cheeks and ears were red, so embarrassed but God, it was so cute. ''Can I?'' Seonghwa asked with a small voice. ''Hm... What about Y/N then?'' San asked. Seonghwa thought for a few seconds until Yunho showed up naked and sat next to San. ''She can suck my cock first.''

You swallowed thickly as you saw his big cock sitting between his legs. ''Wow,'' you breathed out, ''where the fuck do you hide this thing?'' Yunho laughed and leaned back a little. ''If you suck it well enough I'll let you ride it.'' You nodded and quickly got to work.

Yunho's muscles tensed when he felt your hot, wet mouth swallow his cock. Your head bobbed up and down as you used your hands on the part you couldn't fit in your mouth. The idol threw back his head and moaned out as he watched your 'innocent' eyes look up at him.

Suddenly you heard groaning beside you as well, making you let go of Yunho's cock with a pop and watch the two men in awe. Seonghwa was sucking San's dick as if it were the sexiest porno in existance, it looked and sounded so incredibly sinful.

The slurping sounds and the moans Seonghwa let out as he gagged on San's cock made your pussy throb. San was moaning and thrusting his hips upwards, fucking his hyung's throat. You gasped as Yunho grabbed your by your hair and forced you back down on his cock. You moaned and gagged around his member as he made you choke on it, fucking your mouth just the way San was doing to Seonghwa.

Yunho and San gave each other a glance, smirking as they were abusing your throat's for their pleasure. ''Fuck, that's so good, such a good girl,'' Yunho moaned as he felt his release coming closer. ''Are you gonna cum Yunie?'' San smirked. ''Fuck yeah, gonna paint her throat all white, ah!'' he moaned out as he came deep in your throat, forcing you to swallow his seeds. You let go of his cock with a pop and you panted out.

Seonghwa was still working on San's cock, drool all over his chin and down the base of San's shaft. ''I'm gonna cum in your mouth now and you're gonna fucking take my load,'' San grunted, ''you're gonna fucking take it, okay baby?'' Seonghwa moaned around his cock before swallowing the big load that San released with a loud moan. Seonghwa panted heavily when he got off his wet cock, tears in his eyes. ''That's a good boy,'' San said as he caressed Seonghwa's hair.

''Fuck, this is the hottest thing I've ever experienced,'' you breathed out as you got on Yunho's lap, hands over his toned chest. You pushed him down to lay flat on the bed as you mounted his cock, letting it sink all the way in. You let out a long moan as you felt him stretch you out.

''I-I want all of you, please, all of you at once,'' you whimpered as you bounced lightly on Yunho's length. ''Oh? You want all of us at once? What a naughty little girl,'' Yunho smirked, ''well you heard her boys.'' ''Hm, you're one to like having all her holes filled don't ya?'' San smirked. ''You're not fucking my ass San, do you understand? You're not fucking my ass'' you said, rolling your eyes, knowing about his ass-obsession. San laughed and nodded as he got behind you. ''I promise I won't fuck your ass, only Hwa's.''

San slid his rigid cock right next to Yunho's, deep into your pussy. ''Oh-Oh my God!'' You cried out. ''What about me?'' a now naked Seonghwa asked with his boba eyes. God, those eyes. ''Kiss me,'' you whimpered, pulling him close by his hip. Seonghwa got closer and passionately kissed you on the mouth, driving you inside with his soft lips.

Yunho and San slowly started moving inside you, making you moan into Seonghwa's mouth. You took his long cock in your hand, pumping it up and down slowly, trying to match Yunho and San's pace. Seonghwa moaned along with you and bucked his hips up.

''I had no idea Seonghwa hyung was this filthy,'' Yunho smirked as he rolled his hips up into you. San and Yunho were moving faster, fucking you harder and it felt so good that you could barely keep on kissing Seonghwa. You kept moaning and moaning, eventually breaking the kiss and resting your head against his shoulder. You kept pumping his cock rapidly, earning the most beautiful moans from the boy.

''O-Oh my, you're driving me insane,'' he moaned out. ''Hmm... I always knew he was filthy, I still live with him,'' San smirked before continuing, ''He's always fucking touching himself, fucking himself, listening to us when we're jerking off, he's a little pervert,'' San smirked. Seonghwa could only nodd, whine and moan at San's words,

''I-I'm sorry, I don't wanna be a pervert,'' he cried out, ''I-I just couldn't help it!'' ''It's okay babyboy, it's okay,'' San cooed, ''I'm gonna take care of you after this.''

San's hips thrusted quickly into you, his balls softly clashing against your ass. ''Fuck, you are so good for us,'' Yunho moaned. ''Y-Yes, so good for you, so good for you, I'll fucking let you ruin me whenever you guys want I promise y-you can use my pussy,'' you moaned out. ''Oh? You want us to use your pussy as a good little fucktoy when we're on the road? Well I cannot say no to that.''

''Yes, please, please, please!'' You begged them as you kept working your hand on Seonghwa's cock. He bucked his hips up in the air and started fucking your fist, cumming all over it with a loud moan before he could even announce it.

''What a filthy boy,'' San said, smirking as he pounded into you, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. You let go of Seonghwa's cock as you felt forward onto Yunho's chest, moaning out from the friction you got on your clit. ''Oh look at you, you're close aren't you?'' Yunho said, smirking. ''Y-Yes, Yunie, yes! G-Gonna cum so hard,'' you moaned loudly. San and Yunho thrusted a few more times before they send you over the edge, making you scream out in pleasure.

Only seconds later Yunho came as well, spilling inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out of you and so did San, seeing him watch the three of you by himself. San laid Seonghwa down and smirked at the innocent-looking boy. ''Shall I fill you up now, huh?

''Y-Yes, please, please I've been wanting you for so long,'' he cried out. You and Yunho felt quite fucked out so you laid in his arms as you watched San lube up his dick and slide it into Seonghwa's puckering hole.

''I'm gonna fucking make you scream, hyung,'' he panted out as he let the older one adjust to his size. ''Please, have no mercy on me, I can take it.'' ''I know you can, I've seen that dildo underneath your bed,'' San smirked. Seonghwa's eyes grew wide as San moved inside him, starting off with a rough and fast pace.

He already earned so many sinful, slutty moans from him, making you think that Seonghwa went in the wrong entertainment business cause damn he was sexier and hotter than any pornstar you've ever seen.

''Yeah, you like that baby?'' he smirked as he plunged deeper inside him. San grabbed Seonghwa's cock and jerked it off as he kept fucking him, turning him into a moaning mess. ''I-I'm not gonna last long like this!'' Seonghwa moaned out, ''Your cock is too good, too fucking good!''

San smirked and absolutely went nuts inside him, ramming his cock deep inside him and letting out the most animalistic groans. ''Fuck me, fuck me hard, give me your cum, please!'' Seonghwa begged. With a few more jerks of his hips San released inside Seonghwa, moaning out his name.

Seonghwa moaned louder as he felt his orgasm approach, clenching down on San's cock, milking him dry. San's dom facade slowly broke down as his pleasure took over and watched Seonghwa unravel beneath him, spilling all over his hand and abs.

After getting cleaned up you wished the boys good night before getting back to your own hotelroom, rethinking the shenanigans of earlier and you couldn't help but smile. This was definitely not gonna be the last time this was happening.

What happens in London, doesn't stay back in London. It's comin' back home, you thought.

[murasaki-cha]

So I read Serena.... wow. I'm gonna make a long post expressing my opinions because THERE ARE A LOT!! (there's pictures too!)

These are going to be just my thoughts and how I understood the story + characters so if anyone disagrees, sorry but our vibes don't match, please don't come at me.

Now first of all can they adopt me??

Ok going to be serious here (not for long) this manhwa is so good!! I have read another manhwa of Ina-nim, the author/artist, called "Black Winter" (it's amazing go check it out) so I knew this was going to have layers upon layers as a story. AND IT DID!!

The story is so complex, everyone is scheming something, no one says the full truth and you never know when you might get stabbed in the back.

I'm going to be honest, I've known about Serena since it came out and I didn't want to read it. Not because I thought the story was bad or anything, since I knew how great this author is already thanks to their previous story, but because I knew it was going to be messy. Super messy. And it is, it is a hot dumpster fire mess. And I didn't really want to deal with it since it would have been exhausting and I would have dropped it or put it on hold. But by now (chapter 72 as of the latest update) I think that it has become more "stable" to say and I found it easier to enjoy the story since I read it in one go.

I particularly loved that none of the characters were good. No one. But no one is exactly bad either. Everyone here is just gray, they're flawed, they do bad stuff, they hurt each other. No one is right or wrong. We see things form their perspective and we see their reasoning but whether we sympathise with them is up to us because, let's be real, even their thought process can be fucked up at times.

Besides Victor. Victor is pure evil. If we throw holy water at Victor he will start melting. Victor should be burned.

Now moving along let's talk about the main characters.

Starting with Serena. First of all MOTHER!!🛐-

Now Serena is the type of fl I expected to get lots of hate(and she did). She had a lover while she was married, she was way too stubborn, she thinks she's better than everyone, etc. And yeah she did all those things. She's also a very traumatised little girl who had her entire world shattered at the age of 17, had to marry a stranger and feel her worth slip through her fingers. Serena is constantly paranoid due to her past experiences and the way she's been treated. She's desperately grasping for whatever little power she can have in the begining.

Now that is not to say she's never done anything wrong. Her using Fredrick as merely a way to destress and a shield, her prejudice against Eiser simply because of his family, her thinking she deserves to be in charge even if she is unexperienced simply because she is a Serenity, her refusing to see anything from anyone's perspective but hers. She's too prideful, too stubborn, too guarded.

But she's a great businesswoman, she takes her tasks seriously and she's super intelligent. The moment she started working on the hotel she changed because she was finally in her element. That spoiled, angry Serena in the beginning was simply what the isolation had done to her, the way it had fundamentally changed her. She started seeing everything in a new light when she started learning how to manage the hotel and being more open minded while still being guarded. Serena is a perfect morally gray main character, she's flawed, she's human.

Next we have Eiser. DADDY-

I swear I'm not being biased when I say I loved Eiser SO MUCH! First things first, he is an asshole. Not gonna sugar coat it. In fact that is the sugar coating. He is quite possibly the most secretive man alive, we know exactly 3 things about his past in the last 72 chapters and I'm not even being sarcastic, that's the total amount. And that is probably what makes him so interesting as a character to me at least.

One of my favorite things about Eiser was that he didn't have any feelings about Serena in the beginning. Yeah he mostly saw her as a means to an end and felt a smidge of responsibility because of her brother, but that was it. He honestly did not care about what Serena did or thought. Eiser's only objective is to save Serenity hotel, probably fuck up his family along the way because screw them and the rest is an enigma. He doesn't do feelings, not anymore at least.

We learn from the beginning that he's not a "good guy", he's not Male Lead™ that's mean to fl to protect her or to not get close to her and his whole world revolves around her etc. He's not just this guy meant to be a love interest, he's a whole other well constructed character. He has his own goals (which we never know what they are because his thought's are more secretive and guarded than the Vatican Apostolic Archives), he follows the most efficient way to achieve those goals and that's all that matters to him. He recognized Serena's skills all along yet still thought of her as a spoiled little princess because he didn't care about knowing her, didn't need to, that wasn't going to help him.

There really isn't much development about Eiser aside his relationship with Serena (but that's a talk about further below), but that's kind of on point for him. Unlike Serena, Eiser has been doing business for years now, he knows how to run things, he knows how to work with people, he has experience and skill and friends (surprisingly). Eiser's role is more of a mentor for Serena than as someone who also needs to learn.

And last Frederick (gonna hide behind a chair real quick)

Don't come at me for this but to be 100% honest, Frederick was as interesting to me as a white sheet of paper. Most of the time he was just there. That's it. Look the man is mysterious I agree and his character would have been so so interesting but he literally gave me nothing. I swear I'm being unbiased, even if Eiser didn't exist this man would have done nothing to impact me as a reader. But I think that shows how important or how much impact he made to Serena's story.

Frederick is interesting in the fact that we don't know his role in the story. He says he's doing everything to help Serena yet will that make him an antagonist or not is yet to be revealed. Also Frederick isn't even his name??? so there's that. Unlike the first two, he appears too few times and we don't really know what's up with him. So far he has made it his main objective and like basically his personality to protect Serena from his employers.

I liked that it showed he came here with impure intentions and his own goals but ultimately he just made his entire world revolve around keeping Serena safe and that kind of bumped me. The most interesting thing about him so far right now is the mystery of his past (who he killed, what's his true identity) and whether he'll be an antagonist by the end or not.

And now we move to the most dreaded thing. The romance.

I'm gonna say it straight up, Serena x Eiser for the win. Enemies to lovers has gone and done it again and by god did I EAT IT UP!! They were mother and father fr!!

Now let me express my opinions on both couples here with actual words.

First I want to talk about Serena and Frederick. From the beginning this story did not have a love triangle, at least for me. Serena and Frederick always looked like a relationship born out of necessity (which Serena later on confirms that that's what it might have been all along). Serena craved for whatever warmth and protection she could get and Frederick became kind of a safe place for her. She essentially used Frederick as a distraction, a means of relaxation and someone to just vent. She never properly saw him as his own person or equal but as a means of escape from her struggles.

Meanwhile Frederick himself didn't exactly love Serena in a pure way. He loves her yes, but he's also obsessed with her. He feels the need to make her need him so he can stay by her side. He wants to be the only one seeing her weak and vulnerable, caging her and himself in this relationship. And the only way he knows she will be by his side is if she uses him. And the more Serena takes charge of things as head of Serenity and builds herself up, the more Frederick notices that she's slipping away from him so he desperately clings to the mission of protecting her from his employer. He even admits these himself:

Perhaps they did have something beautiful in the beginning but it slowly developed into a relationship that caged them both.

Now sit down because I'm gonna be talking about mommy and daddy (I unironcally call them that no I'm not joking) and this talk is going to be a loooong one *cracks knuckles*

Serena and Eiser were never the picture perfect couple, furthest thing from it and they were not planning on trying to change that anytime soon. They were toxic, they hurt each other and they didn't care about each other. To Eiser, Serena was just the girl he was supposed to marry to save Serenity and to Serena, Eiser was the man that took Serenity and might kill her in the future. None of them saw each other in a good light and none of them bothered to understand the other. Eiser was completely indifferent towards Serena and Serena just wanted to hurt him. Off to a great start because they were already at rock bottom so the only way to go is up!

The way their relationship developed was really natural and well paced. Everyone knows that the beauty of a good enemies to lover is the slowburn AND THE SLOWBURN WAS SLOWBURNING HERE LEMME TELL YOU! They first needed to see each other in a new lighting as equal business partners to go any further into their relationship or start trusting each other. They're both very calculative people and Eiser did see that, has always seen that, so he resulted to manipulating Serena into "competing" with him to give her the chance to properly work in the hotel. And Serena took the bait but never played right into the palm of his hand and always took charge of things her own way.

It was important for them to recognize each other's full capabilities, not just with the veil of "Grayan" or "Spoiled little princess". Most importantly it was essential for Serena to see that Eiser is in fact truly helping her family without any ulterior motives (that are harmful to her family at least) and never had any plans of taking over and eliminating her. And while Eiser was always aware of Serena's abilities and respected her as an individual, he always too disinterested in her to see how fully capable she is. One of the funniest things in my opinion was how Eiser was showering Serena with praises in his head 24/7 yet verbally he would break out in hives before complimenting her. (Istg the communication in this household died back in that carriage with Serena's family)

And that was the biggest wall that blocked them from going further with their relationship, so as soon as that was gone, well would you look at that, they can actually get along just fine and decently! And the romance just came along to them naturally.

Eiser was always drawn to Serena since he first saw her, he was always intrigued by her actions even if that left him puzzled. He always read people for his benefit, but Serena simply caught his eye every time by pure curiosity. He enjoys seeing her expressions and reactions and her journey to rising to her rightful place. Plus, Eiser always felt a kind of kinship with Serena. He saw the loss, betrayal and devastation in her and recognized it as the same as his own. The fight Serena put all these years to try and keep her place and protect what's hers is what he wished he had done all those years back and what someone had done for him when he was at his lowest. It was only after he truly got to know Serena that all these feelings started to subconsciously transform into something else, something even he isn't truly aware of.

Serena surprised me by being the first one to recognize(?), in a way, she had fallen but I'm not complaining, it was beautiful. Serena's main problem with Eiser was that she couldn't trust him, for very obvious reasons, that mans true thoughts are locked in a safe inside a safe inside another safe that happens to be inside a warehouse in Antarctica. I think the most important thing for Serena was to get to realize that Eiser was trying to truly help her family and the hotel. To me there were 3 major moments where Serena's feelings for Eiser changed: When they went to visit President Harol's mansion and he took the peaches and also defended her, when he said he'll build another hotel by the seaside during their date and when he told her he didn't hate her. All these moment helped Serena see that she had made a wrong assumption about Eiser and even though that wasn't enough to dispel all her suspicions towards him, rightfully so because Serena isn't an idiot, it made her trust him a bit more and be more comfortable around him.

Also their backstory, with Eiser being Serena's "prince" was so freaking cute. And the way she always looked for him when she went to those masquerade parties as a way of comfort, sobbing on the floor. If you go back and reread, you'll see that Serena has always been conscious of Eiser from the very start, albeit subconsciously. She always described him touching her like "The spot where he touched burned even after he had let go", or how she was conscious of being dressed "thinly" in front of Eiser but never in front of anyone else, not even Frederick. In my opinion, she had recognised Eiser as the masked prince at the time or knew subconsciously, but because of the animosity between him and her prejudice against him because he was a Grayan, she didn't want to admit it because that would admit that Eiser was anything but a simple marriage and business partner to her.

And now with the release of chapter 72, I am dreading the road in which their relationship is heading and how far back it may devolve. Like I don't blame Eiser because 1) he doesn't know about Serena's trauma 2) he saw red after seeing the way that man was hurting his wife I support the Grayan in him taking over at that moment. But unfortunately for Serena he just proved her greatest fear when it came to him, that he's still very much a Grayan no matter how much he despises them. Her reliving her childhood trauma and seeing Victor in Eiser could revert her to earlier Serena where she was always paranoid and scared of Eiser, but now with proof that he is in fact just as dangerous as she thought him to be. Worse thing is, she can't even go to Fredrick for comfort because she's suspicious of him too so she's truly alone (she has Sui but Sui was there before too and we saw the state in which Serena was in back than). This is a very complicated and simply put shit situation for them, it could possibly be one of their roughest patches in their entire relationship and it's going to take understanding from both Eiser and Serena to get over it and possibly, hopefully, truly trust each other after this. Please Ina-nim please I'm putting my trust in you!! (Ina-nim played us all like a cheep kazoo with chapter 72 like I could not have been more wrong and thank fuck for that! Never have I been so happy to be so incredibly wrong about something! War is over people cheered everyone cried tears of joy!!)

And lastly, thank you for coming to my ted talk, this entire post was just a way for me to vent all the thoughts this webtoon gave me and If you read it, good for you, I love you. As a reward have this collage of chibi mommy and daddy being silly goofy because my chosen career path requires me to have adobe illustrator and I never use it responsibly

[grapejuicegay]

10 BL Boys Women I Want Carnally

@waitmyturtles @neuroticbookworm @dribs-and-drabbles wanted me to be thirsty on main, I guess. There's really no point to this because @telomeke won the thirst olympics already but I'm ready to talk about some women anyway

I'm playing real fast and loose with the rules here but it's my list so I'm going to do what I want (ideally these women, one can dream)

Ink (Bad Buddy) Calm, cool, confident, talented, scary (spoilers: this is going to be a theme)

Nuchy (Cutie Pie) she deserved a better show

Asssassin Lady (Kinnporsche) She showed up for like 5 minutes over a year ago, beat up a bunch of people in a sparkly dress and heels and disappeared forever and I've been thinking about her since

Maya and Rose (Laws of Attraction) I was really tempted to cheat and make this 3 separate additions - one for each of them and one for them together. Honestly they deserve it. But more than anything I love them judging in lesbian together so they're going in together in this list

Photjanee (My School President - both versions) Remember Tinn's wild ass fantasy from ep 2? I sure do

Gim (My School President - both versions) Criminal that we don't have more gifs of her, this one's on us all collectively

Choi Yuna (Semantic Error) She makes it onto everyone's lists AND FOR GOOD REASON

Phuwadol (Vice Versa) they deserved better than a last minute Foei reveal

Sai (10 Years Ticket) She may be a bad mother but I'm not here looking to have kids, y'know?

Pin (10 Years Ticket) I had a much better time through 10 Years Ticket than I had imagined I would. I also found out while working on this post that Tai Penpak has been in at least 2 Golf Tanwarin films. Score!

This next section is basically half the cast from The Warp Effect because, well. Have you seen them?

Jean (The Warp Effect) I'm more than a little bit in love with her, nbd

Kat (The Warp Effect) I promise not to fall in love with you, Kat. But MY GOD do I want you

Nim (The Warp Effect) I'm well aware of how easily you could beat me up (please do)

Kim (The Warp Effect) I'll have fun with you Kim!!!

And saving the best for last...

Molly (The Warp Effect) because Silvy deserves to be on this list multiple times

Honorable Mentions Because they're gorgeous and I couldn't pick a single role

Namtan Tipnaree

Aye Sarunchana

EDIT: I forgot to tag people! @casualavocados @celestial-sapphicss you're up <3 (and anyone else who wants to!)

[calehenituse-brainrot]

Gone

Cale Henituse | Kim Rok Soo x Transported!Reader

It is time for acceptance.

warning: mentions of self-harm scars and depression once, implied suicide

Deruth and Ron looked towards Hans who entered the room with a pale face. There were a bunch of papers held by the blond man and for some reason, something struck Ron right in his nerve that has him tense, especially when he saw the sketch of your face pinned at the top on a small yellowish paper. 

"Your Highness."

Hans looked at the papers in his hand and gulped. 

Deruth frowned. "Hans, what's wrong?"

Hans looked up at Ron, eyes containing so much grief that Ron was taken back to the time when he had to look at Beacrox when his wife was slaughtered. There was no need for Hans to speak when Ron recognized that grief.

Ron's shoulders slumped and he looked down. "I will call the Young Master-nim."

"Your Highness, there had been an accident with one of our trade ships during a storm last night. The deceased are still being listed—" Hans began to explain and Ron walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He hears the harsh creak of the Duke's chair and his roar in disbelief.

Ron stood by the door for a moment, being reminded once again that the world was cruel in many ways. He takes a step and is reminded of the cruel things he had said, another step and he was reminded of how he had been so stupid to help you, one more step and how he had taken things for granted too many times. Every step he takes were accompanied by regret and sadness — losing one more person, to the heavy guilt for being responsible, to losing a child, to how young you were — until he stopped in front of Cale's bedroom.

Ron recalls your warmth when you hug him last night — shit, was it just last night? And you're already gone? — and how you had promised to be back soon. He thinks about the tension on your shoulders while packing your things and the way your tears fell when you wanted him to know you have loved them all as much as you could, with all the ways you know how. 

You were brave for taking such a brave step forward alone, he must commend you for that. That was why he had allowed himself to help you get away because Ron wanted the best things for you and to get away and grow on your own was what you thought you needed. And what does the world give you for being brave?

It kills you.

Memories of you, sad or happy, now became bitter. Every memory of your smile became too much because you were too young and you didn't deserve such a cruel death. A sharp pain could be felt in his chest because he felt like he was responsible for it as well.

What would have happened had he tried to stop you instead of coming in and helping you pack? You wouldn't have been able to get to the port and board the ship.

Why didn't he ask you to stay for one more day? Why didn't he question the ship you had taken? Why didn't he think things through? Why did he have to be so fucking soft for you and left you to take your own decisions?

He should have stopped you last night.

Death comes at unexpected times, Ron knows that — goddamit, he knows that fact very well — and he knows that it never once considered the person they're taking away is loved by so many people, that this person has been fighting for happiness all their lives and deserved a little bit of freedom, and that this person was going to allow themselves to grow and be different, better.

You were going to change. Why did it need to take you from that?

It is almost robotic of Ron to continue his routine despite the grief that overwhelmed him. He knocks thrice and announced himself before going in like usual, approaching Cale and the kids who were sleeping so peacefully — he feels slightly guilty to know he will not be waking them up to annoy them but to make sure they'll be the first to hear the news.

He could imagine how Cale would feel after this.

"Young Master-nim."

Ron calls out, voice firm and strict. Cale opens one eye, vision still bleary. "Ron?"

"You are urgently needed in the Duke's study."

Ron's voice was emotionless and immediately Cale could notice that something had gone wrong. He sat up from his bed, hair still messy and clothes still wrinkled while Ron grabbed a robe. "What's wrong?"

"It is better for you to hear it yourself," Ron says, helping Cale put on the sleeping robe. 

Cale rubs his eyes. "Has [Name] returned from the port, yet?"

Ron stilled for a moment and Cale would have noticed had it not been for the kids stretching in their sleep and groaning. Cale turned to look at Ron and was flabbergasted to find the butler already opening the bedroom door.

Something horrible has happened and Cale could not ease the unsettling feeling that's nestling in his guts. The fact that Ron had urged him to immediately get out of bed so early in the morning without washing up was already dire, but the serious look and the way the older man stayed silent all the way to the Duke's office was unsettling to Cale.

"Do you know when [Name] got back last night?" Cale asked, knowing you must have gotten home pretty late. He hoped you slept enough this morning before you continue working.

Instead of answering, Ron knocked on the Duke's door and Hans was the one to open it. The head butler allowed Cale to enter first and face his father.

When Cale entered the study, the first thing he noticed was the pale looks on his father's and Hans' faces. He sees that Hans' eyes are a bit bloodshot red while his father was on the couch, face buried in his hands.

"Father?" Cale called out. "What's wrong?"

Deruth looked up and Cale's gut feeling turned from bad to rotten when he saw that his father was on the verge of tears. Deruth stood up and hugged Cale for a moment, "Oh, Cale, I'm sorry."

"What? What's happened?" Cale asked. He would have grown irritated with how much everyone was leaving him in the dark but seeing the expressions of everyone in the room, he began growing anxious.

"One of our trade ships sank last night," Hans spoke up. "Most of the deceased are our employees."

Cale's blood runs cold. Didn't you say you were heading to the port last night? 

"Where's [Name]?" Cale immediately asked, turning to look at Ron. "Ron?"

Ron closed his eyes and let out a sigh. 

"Miss [Name] had boarded the said ship last night—"

Cale could feel his body slowly losing its strength. "No—"

"Cale, listen—" Deruth says, trying to hold onto his son before he could drown. "Her death is confirmed by the surviving passengers and our remaining employees."

Cale stared at his father's eyes and for the first time in a while, he feels his eyes begin to burn. "No, impossible. We just — we talked last night, Father. She told me she'll be back soon."

"I-I'm sorry, son," Deruth breathed out, watching his son's eyes begin to glisten. He feels his chest begin tightening at the fact that his son is going to be experiencing grief as he had once before when he lost the love of his life.

"No, it doesn't make any sense," Cale denied. "Why was she even on the ship when it boarded in the first place? She told me it was just some minor miscommunication, I don't understand—"

"Young Master-nim."

Ron's stern voice cuts off Cale's rambling and the red-head stops. Ron nodded to Hans to take the pause his chance to continue his report. 

"They found her belongings and the hat she wore when boarding the ship. One of the crewmates had contact with her before she fell from the ship. They... couldn't find her body," Hans spoke slowly. "Her body most likely was pushed down to the bottom of the sea by the rubble of the ship like some of the other victims."

Cale could feel Deruth gripping his shoulder, offering some comfort as he listened to Hans but he is numb. Hans's voice became muffled and Cale felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, no longer able to feel any sensation and only looking out the window of his father's study.

Was this some sort of curse? 

When he loved, it was one more person to lose. Was he an omen of bad luck? How come anyone close to him would always be in danger?

Can't the world give him a break?

Cale regretted not convincing you to stay, to deal with the problem in the morning. Now he's here, listening to how the ship you were on broke into two and you were one of the many employees the duchy lost.

Why now? Why after such a beautiful day out? Was that the world being kind to him, to make his last memory of you running up the hill while smiling?

What a fucking joke.

It seemed so stupid that a person as strong as you died from a sinking ship. You did not fight your way through life just to die so in vain.

"How..."

Everyone in the room stared at the Cale as he looked out the window. 

"How will I tell the kids?"

Alver didn't hear of the news until late afternoon.

He finally had time to spare to have lunch after hours of sitting in the same spot, doing the same thing over and over again. Your letter to invite him to your picnic party was still in his drawer as it was only yesterday that the party was held.

His communication device beeped and when he accepted it, he was shown the head butler of the Henituse duchy's deadpan face.

"Good afternoon, Your Highness," he greeted, voice lacking any tone that would indicate his cynical nature, and right off the bat, Alver could see this was serious. "I apologize for contacting you like this but I called to tell you of the duchy's loss."

Alver sat up straight, tense. Choi Han hasn't entered the palace since the morning so he thought something must have happened. "Loss?"

"Due to the sinking accident that happened last night, the Henituse duchy unfortunately lost some of our best and loyal employees, including the assistant of our Young Master's, Miss [Name] [Last Name]."

Alver paled. "What? [Name]?"

Ron stared at the blond man with somber eyes. "Yes. She, along with 16 of our employees, died in the accident."

Alver opened his mouth, head procuring so many questions but none vocalized. He wanted to ask what had happened, how did you die, how can they be so sure, and how's Cale and the kids taking the information, but Ron immediately cut his train of thought.

"Due to this, members of the Henituse duchy will not be available for the time being as we mourn over our loss," Ron continued. "Please understand."

"I—" Alver stuttered. "It can't be, right? I mean, this is so sudden."

Alver felt played. There's no way you're actually gone, right? He had just begun getting close to you. He was starting to get on your good side and he wanted to see how far you and Cale were going to move forward when it was obvious that the two of you were in love with each other.

Ron stared at Alver for some time before showing a letter. "She left a letter for you, Your Highness. Please find the time to come over and fetch it in the duchy."

Usually, they could just send it to Alver in the palace. To tell a royal family member to fetch a letter was impudent, but Alver could see that Ron was indirectly asking him to come over and talk to Cale, that he perhaps could provide some comfort. Amidst all that, the fact that you left a letter for him struck Albert with confusion.

"I... will be visiting as soon as I could."

Ron nodded, slipping the letter into his coat.

"How are the kids?" Asked Alver. He couldn't imagine being the one to break the news to the young ones. "Have they gotten the news?"

"They will be the last ones to know."

Cale stared at the three children on his bed, watching them sleep peacefully. His heart is torn between waking them up and telling them the news quickly or letting them savor the peaceful morning first.

Cale decided on the latter. He cleaned himself up and changed into comfortable clothes, walking out of the room as quietly as he could.

In the halls, the servants are running around, some are comforting others, while the others continue their jobs. Deruth had hired people to do a search for the bodies of the victims and to immediately provide money to pay for their funerals. Some men are brought to the duchy to handle the estimation of loss they had to deal with and compensate their customers due to the unforeseeable event.

His legs carried him to your room in his absentminded state and he saw that the door was slightly ajar. Pushing it a little, Cale's heart dropped when he saw that your room was lacking your touches, nearly similar to the room he had seen in the top whip test.

"What the..." He stepped inside, looking around the room with wide eyes.

He could feel his chest becoming so stuffy, hands slightly shaking when he saw the bare vanity desk, your homemade makeup nowhere to be seen. He reached for the drawers there and saw that you had left the accessories gifted to you by the Duchess, ones you wear when there's a formal event.

"No, no, no," Cale murmured, moving to the other side of the room.

Almost as if he was in a trance, Cale opened the wardrobe doors and pulled out the drawers. He sees the conventional dresses and such, but none were ones you frequently wear. The few pieces of paper you kept on your desk were missing and the bathroom chest where you keep your bath salts and essential oils was empty.

His nightmare was coming true; nothing of you was left.

Cale stopped in the middle of the room and rubbed his face, murmuring, "No, no... Don't be like this."

He looked around the bed, checking the crevices and feeling his breath quicken when he found nothing. He nearly flipped over the mattress as he searched for something, anything, and when he found none, he tore the duvets off.

'Fuck, fuck, don't be like this, [Name],' he thought, running a hand through his hair. 'Don't do me like this.'

He looked up when he heard the door creak. Ron stood there with a frown, looking around the empty room with something unfamiliar in his eyes.

"Where are her things?" Asked Cale. "Did she take them with her?"

Cale was frantic and jittery and Ron felt his chest heave with grief when he realized the weight of his next words. "They are donated, as per her request."

Cale stilled. "Her request?"

Ron took out a letter from the inner pocket of his coat, presenting it to Cale. "She left a letter for you, Young Master-nim."

Like a thirsty man being handed water, Cale snatched the letter from Ron's hand, his whole body slumping with emotion when he saw his name in your handwriting.

He tore open the letter as carefully as he could and took out the letter.

Dear Cale,

I'm sorry.

By the time you've read this, I'll already be long gone.

I'm sorry for leaving you all without any warning. I can assure you that it is done without any pressure from anyone. My leaving is my own will. It is a choice I made, one I have been waiting for years to finally do.

I've chosen myself. 

It has been a continuous struggle for me to constantly be ignorant of the question of what exactly my purpose is in this world. I feel like I don't belong here unless I'm given an explanation as to why I should stay.

It's also so hard for me to commit myself to this life — to you, your feelings, and mine as well — when it could be taken at any moment's notice. 

I am going to seek the answers I need and while I do not know how long it would last nor what might entail my journey, I do know that I must do it alone because if you were with me the whole journey, I'm afraid one look from you will have me abandon my priorities.

Please let me choose myself. Let me be selfish.

Donate the things I left behind. Do not hold onto it. It will only bring you pain. Remember to sleep well and eat healthily. Never change.

Please remember that I love you in every way I know how.

All my love,

[Name].

Cale stroked the paper, noticing the circular dark spots on the paper and the smudged ink. He thought of you, sitting down on your desk and writing this letter to him in the middle of the night, tears dripping down your cheeks to the paper.

You were already planning to leave them all. It was just bad luck that you were immediately taken away from them the same night.

Cale doesn't know whether to be bitter or not. He knew his love wasn't going to be enough to convince you to stay — God, he wished it was enough, he wished he could have loved you more, maybe then you'll stay and be brave enough to commit to him — and he understands your feelings, but didn't you promise to not leave him without any warning? 

There's an urge to ball up the letter and throw it away out of the bitter feeling of being dejected, and heartbroken, but what else would there be left of you if he did that?

"Have you arranged to have [Name]'s belongings returned?" Asked Cale, still staring at your handwriting.

It is now one of your traces that he will cherish.

"Yes," Ron answered. "They are on their way."

Cale looked at the letter and began folding it. "Set up a meeting with Withira and Paseton. Tell them of the news and that we'll be needing their help locating [Name] and the others."

At the very least, he needs to get you back. He doesn't want to talk to an empty grave.

Ron nodded. "As you wish, Young Master."

"And call for the crewmate that had contact with [Name] before she died," Cale continued, settling himself on the side of your bed. He touches the covers, smelling the faint scent of your soap. "I'd like to talk to him personally."

"I'm afraid it'll be difficult," Ron replied. "The crewmate is currently hospitalized for a dislocated arm and other wounds. He had held onto Miss [Name] before she fell into the water."

Cale's stared at the floor. He doesn't know how to feel to know that you had held onto what you could to stay alive and eventually died. 

"Then set up a time so I can visit him," Cale said. 

When Ohn woke up, the estate feels so eerily busy.

She heard the sniffles of servants outside of their door and the quick footsteps of several others. She turned to look at her siblings and saw that Raon was already up and was covering his ears with his paws, small whines escaping his mouth.

"Raon?" She calls with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone is upset," the Black Dragon whimpered, stuffing his nose into Cale's side of the bed. "It's sad."

Hong eventually woke up from Raon's whining, leaning to the dragon to calm him down while Ohn is spinning her head to find out what to do next. She has a bad feeling beginning to grow in her gut but she just wanted someone to please tell her what's going on and it made her a bit disappointed in herself that she was not going to find out what the problem is like a grown-up but waiting for someone to explain it to her. 

Just in time, the bedroom door opened and showed Cale coming in. The kids immediately looked up at him, observing the way the red-head looked tired and walked with a low slouch as if he had been working all day. His eyes are slightly red but his face showed no signs of tears. He looks paler than usual when he placed the letter in his hand on the nightstand.

"You're all up," he said dryly. 

He noticed Raon covering his ears and lift the Dragon, arms slightly shaking as he takes a seat on the bed and placed the heavy Dragon on his lap. Hong leaned to Cale's side, still slightly sleepy while Ohn placed her two front paws on Cale's thigh.

"Ssh, everything's going to be alright," Cale cooed to the Dragon, caressing his scaly head gently. "Everything's going to be alright."

It felt like he was saying those words to himself.

Cale sat with them in silence, gathering the strength to break the news while he let the kids calm down. He tried to think of gentler ways to break the news, but how do you gently say that someone died to children? He knows that these children understood the meaning of death but he didn't think there would ever be a time for him to say that someone close to them had died.

Ron and Hans were sending out letters to the victims' families. Ron was directly contacting the others to know of your death and gave a formal request to retrieve the bodies while Cale had assigned himself to tell the kids about you before they could listen about it from about else.

In a way, Cale felt like he had failed one of his plans to become a slacker. He had wished for a peaceful, comfortable life with you all, you staying by his side and telling him about your day while he lays on his bed and the kids enjoying their days while never worrying about losing a home.

Now, you're no longer here.

"I need to tell you all something," Cale spoke up, budging Hong's head so the little kitten would wake up from his sleep. 

Hong blinked, pawing at his eyes and yawning. He looked up at Cale when he felt Cale scratch the back of his ear, enjoying the gesture with a purr. Raon finally looked up at him with curious eyes while Ohn frowned, feeling like this doesn't sound good.

"Last night, [Name] boarded a ship to handle some problems overseas," Cale began, not wanting to tell the kids that you were planning to leave them all without any warnings. He would explain it to them one day, not soon, but one day.

"I saw her last night," Ohn added, remembering the somber look in your eyes when you walked with Ron towards the carriage. "Is she back yet?"

Cale inhaled, trying to think of the next words to say. "The ship she boarded was hit by a storm last night."

Raon and Hong began to frown. Raon tilted his head, "Is [Name] okay?"

Cale pursed his lips into a thin line. 

"The ship sunk last night," he continued. "[Name] didn't make it."

Ohn felt her heart drop. Something had shifted in her world and her whole life was torn apart just by those words. She lost you? How could it be? She just saw you last night. You told her that kids in her she should sleep earlier.

You told her you'll be back soon, didn't you? You're supposed to come back, aren't you? 

Why the hell is Cale saying you didn't make it?

Ohn's throat burned and she let out a gasp for air, her throat constricting her from taking proper, even breaths.

She couldn't stop herself to let out a pained sob, immediately covering her face to Cale's thigh and crying into his pants. Hong buried his face to Cale's sides, sniffles muffled by his dress shirt and his small body trembling against Cale's.

"N-no!" Raon flew up from Cale's lap, eyes glossy and on the verge of tears. "[Name] is strong, very strong! She is also smart! She's still alive!"

Cale could not get angry at Raon's behavior because this was just a stage of grief he had to go through. He held Raon, pulling the dragon to his chest. "I'm sorry, Raon."

"No! She's still alive!" Raon screamed, big fat tears running down his scales as he hugged Cale. "[Name] is strong!"

"I'm sorry, Raon," Cale murmured, closing his eyes. "I get that you still want her to be alive — I do, too, I want her to be here with us, too, but she's gone."

"No—!" Ohn yelled, like a child throwing a tantrum. She was finally looking up at Cale, showing her furry face wet with her tears. "I want [Name] here!"

"I'm sorry."

"I want [Name]!"

Cale closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, she's not here anymore."

Ohn crawled to him, burrowing in his arms while he held them all, crying into his shirt. As he held the three crying children in his arms, Cale could only think of how he wished you were with him right now.

Now he'll never know which side of the bed you liked more. He'll never find out if you do the dishes while cooking, he'll never find out the taste of your cooking that's made only for him, and he'll never have a future where he can start and end the day with you by his side, and he would never have a future where he can share the same blanket with you on your bed together.

He'll never have a future with you. 

Everything he had with you is now only a memory. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured to the kids, feeling his eyes burning and head becoming light.

He hoped he could be a little more of an emotional comfort to the kids, to be the pillar they lean on when they feel like falling. He hoped he doesn't come across as cold towards your death like how other people thought of him when his hyungs died.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, shutting his eyes and letting the weight of his kids ground him. "I'm so sorry."

"She's dead?"

Beacrox and Choi Han stood in the kitchen, facing Ron with wide eyes. Beacrox let out a shaky breath and looked down, nearly spitting out that he doesn't believe it because he had just seen you a few hours ago, having been joking about being siblings and wishing you safe travels.

"[Name]? As in, our [Name]?" Choi Han asked with wide eyes.

"Yes," Ron answered, too overwhelmed to become irritated with the swordsman. "The Young Master-nim asked for a search squad for her body and the others."

"No, that's—that can't be, right?" Choi Han mumbled, letting out a nervous chuckle. "I just met her yesterday. I was helping her walk on the grass and she almost fell when the kids were chasing her."

"They haven't found her body so it isn't definite," Choi Han tried to be optimistic but he received a glare from Beacrox.

"The ship sunk in the middle of the ocean during a storm. You think she could survive in the water that long?" Beacrox questioned. "Save yourself the false hope."

"Aren't you too accepting of her death?" Choi Han challenged, frowning at the chef. "Shouldn't we trust that [Name] would be able to survive?"

Beacrox stabbed the kitchen knife he had in his hand into the cutting board. "You think this is my first time dealing with death? It's easier to think of them as dead than to hope for them to be alive. Stop being ridiculous."

Beacrox walked out of the kitchen through the back door and before Choi Han could call him out, Ron added; "It is better to lessen your expectations, Choi Han."

"But her body--!"

"Most likely pushed down to the sea floor by a part of the ship, like the others," Ron immediately cut off. "Again, it would be beneficial to lessen your expectations."

Ron walked out of the kitchen to leave Choi Han alone, but before he stepped out of the room, he spoke again, "Do not talk about your expectations with the kids. It'll make their grieving process more difficult. Save yourself the heartache."

"Ron!" 

The voice of the red-headed archmage made Ron step out of the kitchen and turned to her. He saw Rosalyn with Lock walking towards him, both of them pale with tear streaks on their faces. Followed behind them were Eruhaben and the saints of the God of Death and the Sun God. Choi Han stepped out as well after recognizing her voice.

Rosalyn waved a letter to Ron's face. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

She pushed the letter to his chest and spoke with venom laced in her voice. "I swear to God if this is--"

"It's not a joke."

Everyone stopped to turn to Cale who was standing in front of them all. He looks tired, his eyes red-rimmed, and clothes wrinkled and a few wet spots were seen.

Choi Han began opening his mouth, still insistent on you being alive, "But if it's from sinking, then she could have held on to a debris or—"

"She's not you, Choi Han."

Cale sounded tired when he shut down Choi Han's suggestion. Rosalyn, stubborn as always, tried to reason with Cale out of denial. "Young Master-nim, [Name] is a strong, smart person, so I'm sure—"

"She's human, Miss Rosalyn," Cale interjected. "She's not you, who has immense talent in magic. She's not like Lock who is a beast person, not Ron, not Eruhaben-nim, and certainly not Choi Han. She's just a human, and there is no way she could survive in the ocean during a storm after falling from a ship."

Rosalyn could feel that Cale had become exasperated with the insistence of others but she continued, "Why are you so accepting?"

Cale's brown eyes are almost emotionless when he replied, "What good is there to hope?"

Ron knows that Cale was coming across as very pessimistic to the others but he knew Cale was just protecting himself and the others from hoping too much. He sighed. "If Miss [Name] had simply gone missing, we would be able to hope. Unfortunately, we have a couple of witnesses that saw her fall down to the ocean."

"Witnesses?" Choi Han repeated. "We should immediately interrogate them to have them confirm what they saw."

Ron turned to look at Cale who glanced back at him, nodding silently. The older man nodded, bowing, "I'll prepare the carriage."

He knew that Raon would be too distraught to use his magic and Cale was letting the kids rest.

"No need," Rosalyn immediately cut off, clenching her fists. "Give me the coordinates to them."

"Eruhaben-nim, please stay and look after the children," Cale muttered. "They are not in their right state of mind to be out of their room."

Eruhaben approached Cale, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, the saints and I will stay here. And I'm sorry."

Cale nodded mutely. 

He doesn't think he can talk much for today.

The last person to make contact with you was a 22-year-old ship crewmate named Klaus. He had sustained a dislocated arm from holding you up and a few scratches from wood splinters in both the palms of his feet and hands, as well as arms. 

Ron did not disclose this information to the rest of them when they visited the man in the hospital. Instead, he first let them meet with the ship's right hand, Kore, as the captain had died in the ocean.

"To be honest, we weren't sure what had caused the leak in the ship," admitted the woman, looking down at her lap. "There was suddenly a jolt from the ship's belly and when the crew looked on, a chunk of it was already off and water filled up the lower deck so quickly we couldn't do a proper assessment."

The thought of explosives being transported and being triggered in the middle of the ocean appeared in Cale's mind. The Henituse had many enemies so if this was done by an enemy to weaken them, it made sense. 

"Could it be magic or explosives?" Asked Rosalyn, voicing Cale's suspicions.

Kore shook her head. "No, Ma'am. No explosives were shipped with us and even if it was an explosion from magic, there was no fire. The jolt happened twice, once from the first time that caused the leak, and the second caused the ship to break in half because it felt like the ship was getting pulled down."

"It couldn't have been explosives if both happened underwater," Ron simplified. "Did you see Miss [Name] before all of this happened?"

"Yes," Kore answered. "She had been standing near the ship railing last I saw her. During the chaos, a crewmate of mine was the one who was with her the whole time before she fell to the water."

"What's his name?" Cale asked, making everyone turn to him. He had been quiet this whole time and to finally hear him talk made them relieved but also anxious.

"Klaus," answered Kore. "He's already awake, last I hear."

"Thank you," Cale said. "The duchy cannot replace the lives of the people you have lost, but we are capable of taking care of the expenses to lessen the burden on the families. I'm sorry for your loss."

Kore's brown eyes swelled with tears, nodding. "Thank you, Young Master-nim... and I'm sorry for your loss, too. Miss [Name] was a wonderful person."

Cale pursed his lips into a thin line. "Please get some rest."

Kore watched the red-headed hero turn around without another word, the heroes of the kingdom following behind him as they moved to the wing where Klaus was staying in. She saw how the grim faces of them all as they moved and couldn't help but think how lovely and lucky you must be to be so loved by these people.

When they found Klaus, he was sitting on his bed while staring at his hands, flexing them with a heavy frown on his face. He was sitting topless, showing off the ugly bruising on his shoulder and the odd contort of the bone there. He has bandages around his arms, several spots seeping with blood.

"Klaus."

Ron's cold voice surprised the young man and he looked up, flabbergasted to see the faces of the kingdom's heroes.

"Y-Young Master Cale!" He greeted Cale first, bowing his head. "An honor to meet you!"

Cale waved his hand, pulling a chair beside Klaus' bed. "Don't move too much."

"O-okay," he murmured, glancing at Rosalyn, Choi Han, and Lock's faces. He averted his eyes to his lap and murmured, "I suppose you're all here to ask me about Miss [Name]?"

"Tell us about every interaction you have with her on that ship," Rosalyn commands. "To the last detail."

Klaus gulped, slowly looking up to look at them all. He made time to make eye contact with them all as he spoke, "When I was helping the passengers to board the emergency boats, Kore had ordered me to run back to fetch Miss [Name] because she was nowhere to be seen."

"I had seen her sleeping by the deck during the storm and remembered feeling bewildered because she was sleeping so deeply." Klaus remembered being very relieved when he arrived to you that moment and you had been awake. "I had grabbed onto her to lead her to a boat but the ship had jolted and broke in half. She had been standing on the other part of the ship and it fell down but I managed to grab her on time."

Klaus remembered the way fear covered your beautiful face, becoming so pale from the cold rain and fear of death. He remembers how you had absolutely refused to look down and kept your [e/c] eyes on him, so struck with fear that you barely said anything.

Klaus touched his dislocated shoulder. "I... I wasn't strong enough."

"You let her go?" Choi Han questioned with venom, frowning deeply. 

"I would never!" Klaus exclaimed. "I would never! I tried my best to hold on to her and she would have been saved, safe and sound had she held on to me."

Cale blinked owlishly. "What?"

"Don't you dare start blaming her just because you weren't strong enough," Rosalyn sneered, voice slightly cracking. "She would never—"

"Archmage-nim, with all due respect, I value Miss [Name] with my life," Klaus professed. "If it were up to me, I would have changed places with her because I know how much her life is worth more than mine. I was willing to lose my arm or even my life if it meant saving her."

He showed his hands and bandaged arm. "I let wood chips dig into my skin just so I can hold onto her longer."

Klaus held onto his shoulder with a pained look. "Miss [Name] wanted to hold on to me longer, but she saw me in pain and immediately let my hand go."

Rosalyn rubbed her temples, trying her very best to not let her eyes swell up with tears. She inhaled and then spoke again, "[Name] wouldn't do that. She wouldn't give up so easily."

Cale glanced around the room, remembering the scars on your arms up to your shoulders, the scars on your thighs, and thought about how maybe it was never directly stated but it was clear you still struggled with your mental health.

"[Name] suffered depression."

Everyone turned to Cale. The man was glancing at a spot on the wall, refusing to look at them all. "She felt like she never belonged here with us and that caused her to lose a sense of belonging here."

"That's—" Rosalyn gasped out a pained huff, sounding almost like a scoff. "That's ridiculous. W-we're a family. I mean, at least I thought we were... right?"

"She loved us in every way she knew how to," Cale muttered. "Not in the way we thought."

Rosalyn bit the inside of her cheeks, turning to Klaus. "Did you see her die?"

Klaus looked down, closing his eyes. "The ship had turned vertical when she fell to the ocean and I saw the splash her body created when it fell. If she didn't die from the impact, she would have died from the water filling her lungs as she'd be too weak after the impact to keep herself afloat."

Rosalyn felt her lips quiver. She could feel the painful burn in her eyes increasing every second and when she let out a sob, another one immediately followed without her consent. She covered her mouth to stop it, to not have the world see this weak side of her, but her knees grow weak supporting her weight and she drops to them, holding onto Klaus' bed.

"No, my sister—" She choked out, feeling Lock's warm body pressed up by her side, giving her a side hug. She could feel the sobs of Lock as he hug her. "No, [Name]—!"

The piercing scream that the Archmage let out as she kneeled on the floor made Klaus close his eyes, tears spilling from his eyes at the thought that he had been too weak. Seeing such a strong figure of the continent writhing on the floor, screaming for her sister, asking for you to come back over and over again was too much.

Choi Han let tears stream down his face, kneeling beside Rosalyn and Lock as they both cried for you.

"Choi Han, [Name]—" Rosalyn choked. "She's gone."

"She's gone!" Rosalyn repeated, in hysterics. Her hair is a mess, her cheeks face with tears, eyes red and face flushed red. "I can't see her again."

Choi Han held onto the woman, thinking about how you're now another loved one he had lost.

[cherrysoulth]

ᴍᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 2: ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ʙʀᴇᴇᴢᴇ

💕Pairings: Female reader X Daechwita! King AgustD-1 // Female reader X Daechwita! AgustD-2

📝Summary: When the sound of Daechwita vibrates in the internal battle between the royal family twins. A king and a lover. Lust, Love and Betrayal are on rampage. You need to make a choice- Love or saving the trust. And your choices will have consequences...

✏️Genre: angst and fluff 

✏️Rating: PG-18

📝Word count: 3493

⚠️Warnings: Mentions of sex, violence, cheating/affairs

Hii! Welcome to my work. I'm new in this platform but been posting my writing for four years now in AO3. English is not my first language, so please if you find grammar mistakes, let me know. :)

Big thanks to @moonleeai 💚

<<<𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 1 | 𝕸𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 3>>>

The hot breeze makes its way through again as you fan yourself, and you take a shallow breath, already done with the weather. Although the shade of the trees next to the lake protects you from the sun's merciless rays, the heat is in the air like a furnace. Inside the palace's walls, the rooms are more chill and there's barely anyone outside who knows any better but you find yourself coming here every day, today too, regardless of the temperature, looking at the water's reflection mirage. The same your memories have seemed to turn into.

One of your ladies-in-waiting comes over with a servant to take the task, apologetically, having missed your leave, now that you can roam around almost freely. She's genuine, new, but growing fond of you by the day. The other ladies, full grown women, and some already married, seem to find her endearing, although they scold her into learning the manners of her status. You know the oldest, the prime minister's wife, has to have sent her after you when she went to the sewing room without you.

A little scrunch marks your nose as you give her a naughty expression and she looks at you with her doe eyes. She definitely takes after her brother and you can't avoid smiling at the thought. Far too early to tell but you are sure she'll have lots of suitors when she comes of age. Boys already look at her, taken by her beauty.

Unable to stand the heat any longer, despite the servant's efforts to make wind around you, you stand, startling the youngster slightly. The image of the water had her captivated as much as it did you; just for very different reasons.

You motherly caress your slightly swollen tummy over the white and red hanbok again, uneasy now that you are on your feet. But it's starting to become a common thing as the days go by. This pregnancy feels different, you feel like your belly has started to swell too early. Everything feels odd around it but you can't really place why.

The walk back to the centre of the palace is quiet, as servants surround you to cover your head with an umbrella and fan you from different directions. You enter the rectangular patio leading to the throne room and walk inside as the guards on sight open the door for you.

Yoonsuk raises his eyes from the scripts and stands at your sight, your two boys run to you from their place next to him where they are being taught some of their ancestor's history by their tutor. Although you know they are smart, Yoonguk, who is only three, is probably not learning much in this class. However, Yoonhyung, at the age of six is already able to write in Hangul the simplicity of thoughts he can have at his age. You are proud of them, such good and well-behaved kids deserve it.

"How is the little one behaving?" Yoonsuk wonders, approaching as you do, leaving your ladies at the other side of the open door, as they to the kong. "Ladies, you may retire, thank you. Kim Namjoon-nim, you shall continue the lessons in the library. The Queen and I have matters to attend." he orders as you stand from hugging your sons and the tutor politely bows to the both of you before leaving with the two beautiful boys. The guards close the door and you hear the metallic sound of their spears as they get in front of it.

The King hugs you from behind, breathing on your neck. "I've been sweating a little bit, dear husband. You may not wish to do that," you warn him, caressing his hands over your stomach.

"Nonsense," he says, kissing at the crook of your neck, leaving a soft bite that makes you turn around. "Guards! Make sure we are not disturbed!" he orders before pushing you by the same shoulder down; a nonverbal order you know way too well now. He seems to get off on the fact that you do it in this room, somehow. You reach into his pants to free his shaft, stroking him when it springs out. "I don't fancy you doing that now, get on your back," he says, grabbing your wrist and not letting it go as he gets on his knees, kissing you as you obey.

His hand sneaks under the hem of your skirt until he places it over your stomach, able to see the little swelling on your belly. He caresses the area that he can only watch with pride. "This is the last time I'll ask you to do this here. It has been fun but I owe you the comfort of our bed now that you carry for me again," he says as he lowers the fabric creating a cushioned form covering your stomach before his thumb circles on your bud. "You've been so obedient these last couple of months … Being my beloved wife, my queen… my lover… my concubine… So obedient, yes." The rubbing is the only one to blame for the way you start to get wet since the words only imply his ratification of his ownership over you. "My love," he whispers as he leans over, fingers working into sliding slowly into your depths.

You remembered that was exactly how you conceived the new crown prince or princess. Just like this, he leaned with his body over yours pulling out his fingers and pushing himself slowly in, as he had the habit of. It was never a warranty of him being soft or gentle, just that he didn't want to hurt you.

When he slid in, you wrapped your legs around his waist raising your hips as he thrust in you carefully, you felt his weight and warmth. That time he leaned over your body completely, now he’s careful and uses his elbows to make sure he doesn’t crush you. He feels good inside of you and although you had been stepping away from him emotionally before your affair was broken, now you feel even more conflicted than before.

He ignored you for the length of seven weeks, or mostly so since he would still sit down to eat with you. The bedroom was your prison, feeling the coldness of the bedsheets as he wouldn’t even step foot inside the four walls.

He spoke to you in short sentences and didn’t share any information with you as he used to. You felt for the first time, despite how he had been so sexually inactive months before, how it must have felt to be in an arranged marriage in which your husband didn’t want you. Missing the comfort of Yoongi’s words and love, drove you insane. You had never felt so lonely, even with the company of your ladies.

After that period, when the doctor corroborated that there was no pregnancy since you had bled twice. He had shooed your ladies out of the room, he had ripped your clothes and fed with your body his lust.

He made you moan and cry in all the ways he had learnt to love you for the previous seven years. All, while muttering all the changes that would be made in your lives to sort whatever had been breaking your marriage in the first place. Followed by a death threat on any chance you could take to have a lover again, right after he had spurted his seed inside of you, with the first lights of the sun turning the sky purple.

Since then, and without chances to know if Yoongi was alright or even breathing, you adapted and assumed your destiny. Yoonsuk is right, you are the perfect wife, even if you miss Yoongi. Even on the nights, you don’t share a bed with your husband, you cry in silence for the sorrow of losing him.

“Your Majesty!” shouts one of the servants at the other side of the door when Yoonsuk tries to angle better and starts hitting your sweet spot, making you moan against his collarbone, at the same time eliciting a grunt from him.

“How do you dare to disturb me!” growls Yoonsuk, before rising on his thighs and putting your knees against his chest, closing your legs and angling in a way that makes you have to muffle your sounds with your sleeve.

“Your Majesty, it’s important!” says the servant with a cracked voice.

“Speak!” Yoonsuk growls as you get closer to your orgasm. He forgets your knees raising you by the hips, still thrusting, raising your lower back from the floor.

“Your Majesty. There’s a group of bandits making their way down to the capital… But… But they-” the servant doubts to speak.

“They- what?” he growls once more giving the last thrust that sends you over the edge with the muffled sound of a scream against his palm.

“They are raising a rebellion, Your Majesty…” the man says and you can hear the tremble of his voice through the sense of your own body shattering, making it stop suddenly.

You feel Yoonsuk start to soften while he clenches his jaw, eyes locked on the door. He lets you down carefully and arranges your skirt before putting his wet member back inside his slacks. He stands and helps you up gently before holding you in a hug, kissing your forehead and you surround his well-formed abdomen with your arms.

"Tell the councillors to come here. We'll discuss this," orders Yoonsuk. "Take a seat with me, my queen," he offers, pointing with his hand to his throne where there's another one slightly lower for you.

You walk your way to it while correcting your hanbok, and as you sit down you feel your own drip staining the inner layer of it. Which makes you shift in your seat a second enough for Yoonsuk to guess why and smirk at you as he sits too.

“I’m not done-” he says facing the other extreme of the room but side eyeing you.

“I know. After this, in my room?” you question, tilting your head his way, but then he tilts his to look at you.

“My room. Tonight,” he says and you suddenly feel a weight lift from your chest, although you hadn’t realised it was there at all.

Being truthful to yourself and stopping to excuse his behaviour, he’s been truly using you when it comes to that matter. He has been taking you anywhere, any time, for the last three months, like a haunt does a bitch and you have let him. Yoonsuk is a generous lover and sleeping with him isn't a sacrifice, but the humiliation of being treated like that has probably been something you’ve taken for the sake of repaying for his damaged pride. Maybe because you know the consequences of your transgressions, your betrayal, should have ended with your two sons being motherless. Instead, your husband whom everyone, including you, thought crazy; gave you a second chance and has used your body to show you where you belong; at his side, like it always was. You feel like even if your inner self has wanted to tell him otherwise at the beginning, your acceptance has made things easier for everyone.

Those two sentences, what he’s said right before taking you on the floor of the room that represents his power, means he’s finally moved past your punishment and you two are one again. The image of Yoongi looking at you with his smile hits you for a moment and you have to push him away once more, not without your feelings betraying you in the form of a tear falling over your left cheek.

“Does that make you happy?” wonders Yoonsuk, tilting his head to look at you again as the guards open the door and you dry off the tear.

“Thank you,” you whisper and you feel the bile rise in your throat, from your lie. You don’t feel thankful, that's not it. Internally, you still wish you could get out and find your way back to Yoongi but there’s simply nothing you can do to change your circumstances. You see he’s raised his eyebrows in surprise and presents you a gummy smile, a second after, when you look at him from your position. Something in his smile makes your stomach bubble and you feel the butterflies of the love you thought lost.

Maybe you should really, truly, accept that this is your life now. That you can still love the man you used to, even if he’s a monster. What else is there for you to do?

When the ministers and counsellors take their places, some look at you, though just a second. You know it's a second guess to having seen you as they entered, probably surprised.

Your affair was shut down to anyone who had knowledge of what was going on that night. The fear of the king is bigger than their need to gossip. But the lack of your presence in the throne chambers and the lack of either of you visiting your sleeping ones soon raised discomfort.

What in the past was looked forward to; the king losing interest in you (in order to gain favour through their daughters becoming the king's concubines), was now feared.

Taehyung, the prime minister and long-time friend, had openly asked his wife about the matter. She dared then to translate the discomfort everyone who was highborn had with the events, but you were unable to answer. Feeling shame for the first time.

However, the king waited, not taking anyone publicly to his bed. The idea he could mortified you so much, that you dared to speak it out loud during one dinner, where you ate alone.

Aware of your appetite's lack of appearance while the matter rounded your head, the king spoke: "Is that all you are going to eat?" his eyes were on you like daggers. Four weeks into his distancing could mean this was the first sign of you carrying what he was sure would be his brother’s child, not his. Although he had slept with you too. "Not feeling your appetite I see," he mentioned taking a sip of his drink, "feeling nauseous maybe?" The vile raised in his throat as much as it did in yours.

"I have things on my mind. That is all," you said, not daring to keep your eyes on him longer than to acknowledge what he was starting at.

"And what is that then?" he questioned, placing the cup over the table with a clang. If he thought you were missing or even thinking about Yoongi his blood would boil immediately.

You dared to stare at him longer, after watching the motion and he raised an eyebrow, "what do you care?" you hissed. The solitude was finally weighing on you and your well-hidden resentment towards your husband decided to show.

"What do I care?" he chuckled humourlessly. "What about my wife, the mother of my children, who I have loved dearly, yet decided to betray me but still has her head? What about that?" he pointed, slamming his palm over the table, standing.

"How fair is that when you can go around court sleeping, unpunished, with everyone's daughters or wives?" you muttered, vile in your words. "And I, just the wife, have to look away."

His eyes were bulged and his lips parted too, then his face composed as he gripped one edge of the table. His eyes showed lust. "Is that jealousy?" he asked with what seemed like a purr, you got flustered. "So it is true. You did it because..." his eyes bulged again, "you thought I was sleeping with another," he instinctively surrounded the table when you looked away. There was a partial truth to it, just as you confesed the night you got caught, though you don't know if it was just what gave you the courage. Would you have done that if you never suspected him? Or was it truly because he was making you grow distant in the heart through his actions? Or both? He kneeled next to you and grabbed your chin for you to look at him. "As I already told you, I never did. Not once." His face was the one of the man you bowed to spend your eternity with, sincere but also hurt, staring at you, the woman he loved and a tear rolled down to soon be followed.

His lips were on yours, forgiving, loving, intense, and soon your back was against the cushions you were sitting in. He was feeling you against his body differently, unguided by lust but tenderness, yet you could feel him hard against your thigh.

Soon the kiss escalated and he was breathlessly trying to remove his clothes and yours, unorganised, a knot from you, then his, a naked shoulder, a raised layer of your skirt, then he seemed to look at the moon through the window and think, stopping abruptly. He then separated from you and put everything in your clothes back into place, doing the same with his before going back to his seat to eat in silence. Leaving you completely stunned. You didn't, however, dare to ask why and somewhere between hurt and horny, you stood to leave the room. He didn't say a thing or looked at you.

He kept even more distance after that and with that prospect, you were sure he would never take you back as his wife. That you had even given him the idea of taking concubines to hurt you, which froze any hopes you had to have at least some sort of comfort at his side.

Then a second period came and the doctor discreetly notified you and him that would ensure there wasn’t a baby to be expected. Yoonsuk nodded and dismissed him.

He then grabbed your head softly and planted a kiss on your forehead, "Thank the goods," he whispered and then walked out of the room. In the days following, you caught him staring at you constantly when you shared the same rooms or came across at the patios. So did the whole court, like the prime minister confided in his wife.

After that week, in the afternoon, before the sunset, your husband, the king, walked his way to your rooms with his servants at his talons. With everyone at court that day seeing it. Then you got to know and understand the truth.

He placed a hand over your belly in his bliss and pronounced, "I'm sure my seeds will flourish soon," with a smile as he looked at the moon again, almost full, and you could only stare at him. "It has worked twice," he added, kissing your forehead. Your eyes bulged as he looked at you from above. "If I had slept with you the other day, a month ago… I wouldn't have trusted anything growing in you," he muttered, sincerely.

Your new baby was indeed conceived in that moment although you hoped it didn’t. Not after the things he had muttered between growls.

"I'll kill any man who dares be less than two feet away from you."

The voices around you seem to quite abruptly and your husband's hand on your arm sends you back to reality. You realise everyone is looking at you, and meet his eyes.

"Are you feeling unwell?" he asks, worried in his tone.

"Uh? Oh, no, no, I'm all right. What were you asking?" you respond, having overheard the punishment for following the bandits should be thirty whips at the centre of the traitor's town, to make an example.

"I asked if you needed anything?" He keeps his tone low, only for you to hear and the others keep their respectful silence. "The prime minister eloquently pointed out that you look affected by the heat. Do you need something to drink or eat?"

"Just a fan and some water." he gestured for one of the servants waiting against one of the columns to approach and gave the order.

"Let's continue."

"If I may," asked Chancellor Jung Hoseok. The King nodded for him to speak. "I know maybe now won't be the best time but reducing the taxes and making things a little less tight has always worked to keep the people content and loyal… Maybe we can prom-"

"Your Majesty," interrupted the chancellor's words as Captain Kim Seokjin rushed into the room and bowed humbly.

"What is it, Seokjin-ssi?" Yoonsuk speaks with more patience than he shows to any of the others.

"I have news of who is leading the rebellion." You can automatically tell Seokjin doesn't want to say it, that it's going to anger the king.

"Go on."

"It's the traitor, Min Yoongi, Your Majesty," Seokjin says, looking at the floor instead of the monarch, probably as scared as anyone else.

The whole room gasps, including you, and you can feel the eyes of your sovereign on you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I would really appreciate if you let me know if you liked it, either with a kudo or a comment. It encourages me to keep writing!

[roseeycreates-blog]

Hi po, author-nim.

It's me na naman hihi. Salamuch for responding to my previous question, it means a lot to me 🥺(cue fangirl screaming). I have lots of other questions hihi (if you don't mind po🤭). What would be Lin's reaction to the revelation that she was taken away from Toph when she was a baby? What would be the reaction of the other the Gaang members? Better yet, Tenzin's? What would happen to Kanto and Lin's relationship afterwards?

No pressure po in responding right away, kasi baka busy ka din with your life. And the fact, na many ang questions ko this time (sorry pu, grabe na fixation ko sa AU na ito😔)

Anyway, sending you a lot of saranghes💞 Hope you have great days ahead :)

Hi, anon~

Thank you so much for showing interest in this~ it means a lot to me! 🥹🥹🥹 I might be overreacting, but I’m just really happy right now. I don’t feel like I deserve to be called “author-nim,” though😅😅😅

What would be Lin's reaction to the revelation that she was taken away from Toph when she was a baby?

After the reunion, Lin angrily told the Chief to leave, furious at her for almost killing her dad. Once she was gone, Kanto revealed everything to Lin. Initially, she was upset with her father, wondering how he could have done such things. However, she soon realized that he had been a good dad all her life, giving her everything and never speaking ill of her mom, always saying great things about her. She forgave him.

Her feelings towards Toph were complicated. She thought, if Toph had chosen family over duty, none of this would have happened. It made her question if Toph really loved her dad or if the things he said about her were true.

Bonus: The thing that broke Kanto and Toph's relationship was his connection to a gang. Kanto's father was the leader at the time, but when Kanto left the city, his dad passed the leadership to someone else and bought the land near Republic City. He loved Republic City so much that he couldn't just leave. So, he became that sweet old man with a farm.

What would be the reaction of the other the Gaang members?

Aang and Katara weren't surprised when they initially met Lin. Katara had sensed that Lin was a bender back then. They were happy to see how Lin had grown up. Though they couldn't understand why Kanto took her, they couldn't deny he had done a great job raising her.

Bumi and Kya were really surprised and both thought the same thing: "How would Tenzin process this?" Bumi was convinced that Tenzin would flip out. Kya was worried about their relationship, knowing how much Tenzin loved Lin and how this news could affect them big time.

Sokka and Suyin were both shocked. Sokka was especially upset with Kanto for causing Toph so much pain and depriving her of time with her eldest daughter. Out of everyone, Sokka had seen firsthand how broken Toph was after losing them. Oh! and it was a bit awkward for Suki, given her history with Toph, but she tried to stay supportive.

Zuko wasn’t surprised that they were alive. He had done a background check on Kanto to help with Toph’s investigation. They had only limited information about him and his dad, but they knew how capable they were. Zuko was pleased to hear the news, especially since Izumi had spoken highly of Lin from their brief meeting. Mai encouraged Zuko to send gifts or even travel to Republic City to visit them.

Tenzin's reaction

Tenzin was the most shocked among all of them. He didn't know how to process it and all he wanted was to go to Lin and ask her personally if it was true. He went over to the farm, thoughts circling his mind.

When Lin met him, she explained everything. After hearing it all, Tenzin could only say, "This won’t affect us, right? We love each other, and what happened in the past won’t change what we have now."

Lin lowered her gaze, trying to compose herself. "I need time for a while, Tenzin," she said. "We should stop seeing each other for now. My complicated family problems must be mine alone. I don't want to drag you or your family into this. I also can't shake the fact that, technically, we could be seen as cousins since my mom was married to your uncle. Even though we're not blood-related, it would cause a stir. I don’t want to cause more trouble for you."

Tenzin, tears in his eyes, pleaded, "Everything will be okay, trust me, Lin."

But Lin shook her head, her voice breaking as she said, "Please, Tenzin. Leave." Tears streamed down her face, the weight of her decision heavy on both their hearts.

What would happen to Kanto and Toph's relationship afterwards?

At the moment, Toph despises Kanto, but Kanto still has lingering feelings for her, though his love for Lin is stronger. Right now, Lin is all he can think about. They eventually discussed their next steps, now that everything was out in the open. They agreed that Lin would stay at her farm but train in earthbending with Toph. She would also need to have sleepovers with her mom’s family from time to time, to learn more about her sister Su and reconnect with Toph.

Toph also insisted on adding Lin to the family register and giving her the Beifong last name. Lin, however, pushed back, saying she didn’t want any media attention and preferred to keep things as low-key as possible. She also made it a condition that her father wouldn’t be arrested or charged with anything in exchange for accepting the name change.

(I just discovered a new Stardew Character creator—yay!)

Here's Kanto and Toph~

Hi ulit anon~ Sana okay kalang, may bagyo ngayon dito. Well, habang ginagawa ko itong reply~ Keep safe sa atin~ Also please send mo lang yung mga sks mo. I really appreciate you! 🥹😊💕

[themediummultiverseau]

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

I'm here because I want to support Jojo, and I want to see what he does with a sci-fi story. I'm actually not that keen on Newwie, so I almost skipped this show. No promises I'll stick around.

Well, I'll give Jojo points for starting with oral sex. We rarely acknowledge that act.

Smash cut to a Christian church where a promise ring and curse are inflicted upon him. Okay, Jojo. I see you.

Kind of excited about the cast for this show.

Oh boy. If I watch this I'll be seeing Phuwin twice a week. I'll have to keep his characters separate in my head.

He goes to a Catholic school?? The Jesuits are everywhere, I swear.

I do love Sing Harit, so I will stay around for him.

Already feeling Jojo exploring the shame used to keep people from having sex alongside all the social pressure to have sex.

Jan is here. Everything is better. Her character, Nim, has a girlfriend named Molly.

I like the teacher putting them through consent roleplay in sex Ed.

Gigie!! I think she's with Clize and Best. I watch so much BL that I don't see many of the women at GMMTV, but they're so talented.

Fluke as a bully is entertaining so far.

Very tasteful of the teacher-dad to sidestep sexuality and stress the universality of consent.

Okay, go off!!! It is absolutely rude to ask who tops and who bottoms. We should all stop asking that.

Something LGBT just happened to Army, but the teacher did a great job trying to save everyone from embarrassment.

Yes, kids, wrap it up! I like Alex's dad.

I think this is my first time seeing Fah in a main role. Also glad this show is focusing on women's health as well.

I wonder why they chose English language songs for this show.

I feel like I recognize this water tower they're sitting on from War of Y.

Yes! Girls talk about sex, too! It's not weird or embarrassing to be a virgin!

My grandfather passed before I was born, but everyone in the family says he would have spoiled us like this.

I am so excited about Molly and Nim.

Sing is always so charming. Has been since Lovesick.

Aww, my boy Ew didn't deserve that. At least he took it in stride.

Look at them waving around a dildo in this show. I bet they got that cleared for the feminist messaging.

Okay, Jean. Shoot your shot!

Oh good, we remembered condoms after all the consent and safe sex talk.

If Alex throws up on Jean I will be deeply repulsed.

The drunk sequence was well executed. We're aware of memorable things occurring, but can't tell what they are.

And we transitioned to the future on that moment in the trunk? Talk about a hangover.

Okay! I'm feeling it after that first episode! I guess I'll stick around.

[coruscantguard]

Head canons about nim? (Which, your tags are filling me with Fear)

Oh, Nim. Nim, Nim, Nim. I am DELIGHTED you asked about Nim.

(regarding this ask game-- send me a character and i’ll write you four headcanons)

Warning for canonical child death with all of this one, because, uh, it’s Nim.

Headcanon A: realistic

Nim Pianna and Kit Fisto were friends!

I like to place Kit on the holy fuck you are an absolute BABY why are you offering to adopt a traumatized padawan side of the scale when he becomes Bant’s master, so I usually make the age difference between them be about 7/8 years. So Bant is 13ish when Tahl dies, and Kit is 20/21ish, and that means that he was about 14/15 in 48BBY, which is when Nim died. 

One of the most impactful memories Kit has from his padawan days is Nim’s death. That’s what, I think, really was a “before” and “after” moment for him, and I think that also played a huge role in him, a) becoming one of the best lightsaber duelists in the Order, b) deciding to take on Bant at such a young age, and c) wanting to become a Jedi Consular, a role which very rarely had lightsaber combat. Anyway, Nim was the troublemaker in their little duo, but they both acted really sweet, so they were rarely connected to any of their crimes. They definitely grew up as crechelings together, and they ended up becoming friends because they were both incredibly quiet, and thus gravitated towards each other. Also, Nim was a shit swimmer, and Kit never failed to tease her about it. She got revenge by taking advantage of his vertigo whenever he got out of the pool to trip him.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Nim was the bane of Count Dooku’s fucking existence, and the thing is, Dooku didn’t even mind it that much. Rael Averross took on a promising padawan. Rael also took on a padawan who didn’t care that he was an unconventional Jedi Knight, who was a little shit underneath the shyness. Nim was a lot like Ahsoka, because I like those Anakin-Ahsoka Rael-Nim parallels, and Nim was a lot like Obi-Wan, because I really like those two possible Grandmaster-Grandpadawan dynamics. Her main difference from them was honestly the lack of anger/recklessness/boldness. I headcanon that Nim was excruciatingly shy, and preferred to cause her mischief on the sly. So Nim messed with Dooku on the regular, and she did it so well that he tended to be more impressed then annoyed, which definitely annoyed him further. Rael was so proud.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

There’s a little tidbit in Master and Apprentice that breaks my heart every time, and that tidbit is Nim’s look of terror and abandonment when Rael killed her. I think that the reason it was so painful for the other Jedi to be around Rael after that, the reason he was sent to Pijal so quickly was that the trauma of her death created a bad wound in the Force around Rael. They had a really strong Master-Padawan bond, and Rael probably felt her terror and abandonment as she died. I also think that because of their bond, she knew he was going to kill her before he did. Also, well... Rael was Nim’s Master, and Dooku was Rael’s Master. Dooku, master duelist, Dooku, equal to Mace Windu, Dooku, only surpassed by Yoda.

Rael was trained by one of the best. But when Nim was hit with a slicer dart and attacked him, Rael couldn’t disarm her. Couldn’t subdue her. The protege of one of the best goddamn duelers in the Order, and he had to kill his own Padawan in a lightsaber duel. And then for Qui-Gon Jinn to die in a lightsaber duel all those years later?

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

It’s implied in Master and Apprentice that Obi-Wan doesn’t really know about Nim’s death until he looked into it on his own. I call bullshit. Obi-Wan was nine when she died. Nine. He was, at most, five years younger than her. Even though he probably didn’t know her personally, he almost definitely knew someone who did. And the Jedi are a small group, okay? This is the equivalent of headline news for them. When there’s a killing in a town that at it’s peak had 10,000 people, it’s a pretty big deal. Plus, a lightsaber duel is extremely rare anyway, (at least in 48BBY,) and the Jedi are, at this point, still peacekeepers. It’s abnormal for missions to get that violent. That fact alone would have made the Temple rumor mill. So, it would be impossible to keep an event like Nim’s death from the younglings at the Temple. It doesn’t matter how much the adults would want to-- it could have never happened. People talk, and children are very good listeners, especially when the speaker doesn’t want them to be listening. If they didn’t explain what had happened to the younglings, the rumors would have spiraled completely out of control. Therefore, I think Nim’s death defined a whole generation of Jedi. It’s a canonical horror story-- her body was taken over by a slicer dart, which is notoriously faulty technology, it shouldn’t have happened. Her mind was still her own, she was forced to attack her Master, and he killed her, and that shouldn’t of happened. She was 14, only a year into her training, and she was killed by the person who was supposed to protect her, the person she trusted implicitly. That is what Obi-Wan grew up knowing, what Quinlan grew up knowing, what Luminara and Depa and all the other younglings and padawans at the time of her death had lurking in the back of their minds as they grew up. ...Yeah. Also, Force ghost Nim! Force ghost Nim! Force ghost Nim!

[kaisooficrec]

Hi beautiful admins can you please recommend more hurt/comfort fics 🥺🥺 Thank you and have a nice day ❤

@piciwai hi and thank you cuties!! yesss empathy is still on repeat she's indeed aoty like - look at those nominations 🥰 btw we've got a bunch of great hurt/comfort and some insecure fics fit in this well~

hurt comfort:

Christmas Day - kyungsoo's having not so happy christmas family visit and jongin cheers him up

Revenge served sweet - they broke up and and deal with it much difficulty

Wild Rose - kyungsoo who's raised in a very religious family falls for his best friend jongin. jongin is such a soft caring bebe here and i feel for kyungsoo's inner conflict omg

Vinyl Hearts (For the Record). - time travel au! jongin is a music producer in cali but time travels to korea and a hundred years back to meet kyungsoo

Sharing is Caring - kindergarten teacher jongin (swoons!) adores his pupils very much and 5-year old sehun's dad as well :))) so cute!! amorkaisoo-nim come through!

Hello Stranger - hurt/comfort more like fluffy comfort!! wedding singer jongin befriends hotel housekeeper kyungsoo. hit's so soft and wholesome honestly, i like how it blooms into a friendship in a natural and easy pace. and we demand more singer jongin au pls

Promise You Still Love Me - non au, their relationship is threatened to be exposed so kai has to date jennie

Memories of You - is this the obsession au we deserve? absolutely!! ft. x-exo and exo members but dw still kaisoo-centric :) amorkaisoo ily

Dancing With Your Ghost - break up make up, they broke up but patch things up before kyungsoo enlists

The Last Time - graduation, break up make up, high school sweethearts with painful twist but a happy end :)

Loved and Found - kyungsoo stutters when he's anxious but jongin finds him cute. and ksoo has soo many pets :)

falling is never easy - neighbours au. kyungsoo notices his neighbours has some minor cuts and bruises and helps to tend to them and questions how jongin gets these injuries

Days In the Sun - jongin wants to have a meaningful life and not deal with the town and his family while kyungsoo lost his parents at a young age and had to grow up with people calling him a monster and now i want to cry :’(

I See You - soo loses his parents in an accident but survives; in another realm he meets a soul who accompanies him and guides him which is jongin (happy ending!)

with insecure soo and protective jongin / taking care of him

Visiting Jongdae - we've got some non au here :))) kaisoo go visit jongdae and his family .-----

Croquembouche - domestic fluff with kid!chanbaek. this fic shows kaisoo’s journey from childhood friends to husbands and parents to chanyeol, whose little friend baekhyun starts to worry a protective jongin

when a tree falls - army veteran kyungsoo suffers from ptsd and decides to get help

Hold me in your arms - married kaisoo! a tiring day at work has kyungsoo counting down the minutes until he gets to see jongin, his husband and safe haven, again

remember the beautiful us - non au! just a typical day in the life of jongin and kyungsoo, which somethings can get hard

I Think It's Love - non-au with pre-debut kaisoo. tho it’s tagged with light angst, worry not!! this will give you a warm feeling

Melting - pregnant kyungsoo is just craving some ice cream when a tired jongin says something really hurtful to him. tw: rape mention

Safe - sad, also sweet. kyungsoo is afraid of losing jongin, who reassures him that nothing bad will happen to him

Kintsugi - after an accident, kyungsoo was left with multiple physical and emotional scars

I'll Follow You Till You Love Me: A Guide By Kim Jongin - jongin befriends his new roommate, cat hybrid soo who is a bit reserved and guarded

give you all of the stars - because of low self-esteem, it’s hard for kyungsoo to understand why jongin loves him

Warm Me Better - family au. adoption, also mentioned mpreg. kyungsoo has a great family and he's happy but also insecure he can't give jongin their own children

A Storm is Brewing - barista jongin helps kyungsoo, who is afraid of thunder, get through a stormy night

Stitch My Heart (And Kiss It Better) - zombie!soo has insecurities and thinks he's not worthy of beautiful vampire!jongin

Blossom Out - Kyungsoo is a maintenance man, and he has a crush on a cute uni student!jongin but instead first talks to him via notes due to his anxiety

Snapshots - soo likes dressing in feminine clothes but get insecure and misunderstood but his very suppportive jongin proves him wrong

while we're at it, here's also insecure jongin / protective caring ksoo :

Itsy Bitsy Vampy - supernatural/halloween au this one is so cute omg. kid au also, smol jonginnie dresses up as a vampire (he is a vampire too!) and is a bit upset he's made fun of. it's also so fluffy!!!

No tomorrow - titanic au/historical, ballerino/model jongin, commoner kyungsoo. jongin wants to start off modelling in nyc and escaping from his manipulative manager and ends up in the arms (literally) of cabin boy kyungsoo

By Your Side - non au, jongin can't help but be upset he made a tiny mistake on stage but kyungsoo comforts him well :')

you're doing great (i mean it) - jongin is busy with his solo, photoshoots and super m activities and is tired and stressed out but kyungsoo got his back (even if he's in the military!) lovee ittt

Here, With Me - jongin suffers from ptsd but kyungsoo is with him to shelter jongin from his nightmares. also mpreg

more great hurt comfort fics we've listed! (or just click on 'r:hurt comfort') we hope you'll enjoy these :)

- Admin J & Admin Mimi

[cherchersketch]

Karina’s Last Days / The time of the Terminally Ill Extra

I’m hoping this won’t end up depressing but I still started reading anyway because sometimes I just like to cry I guess. 

Summary Our poor middle-child FL learns that she’s dying in about a year so instead of continuing to waste away at home, she decides to spend her remaining time at her (arranged) fiance’s home instead. ~FREEDOM~  Honestly nothing wrong with the dude, they just don’t really know each other but y’know how it is when you put the FL and ML alone together. So since he doesn’t know much about her disease, he’s hoping she can be saved because she’s such a nice person ~and totally not because he has feelings for her or anything* Author-nim, please let them have a happy ending ;A;

Tropes   - this is just an arranged marriage he/she would never love me   - our main character has literally been dying from chapter 1   - just throw this whole family away (mainly the dad)

FL - Karina Leopold

- if she doesn’t get a happy ending I’m gonna cry - sweet summer child deserves better  - ~middle child syndrome~ is so real - she’s so much happier in her ex-fiance’s house ;A;

ML - Milian Pastellio

- textbook *DUKE IN THE NORTH* with the ~furry blue cloak~ - him eyes glow when him ANGRY

Rating: Yes PLEASE READ THIS unless you’re the type that can’t stand a sad ending then I guess gotta wait til it ends to figure out if you’ll ever read this Status (as of  11 June 2022)   Ongoing. Not that many episodes out but there’s been a tiny bit of catharsis with the family so it’s satisfying enough for now. 

Same Same but Different      - The Villainess’s Days are Numbered / Happy Ending for the Time-Limited Villainess   - I’m All out of Health   - When the Villainess is in Love

full rec list  

[hobidreams]

interlude: april 1870.

how much does he really know?

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader words: 1142 contains: his point of view!

moonlit throne index. this is drabble 31. start from the beginning?

Tonight, even as the king chooses to take the scenic route around to inspect the budding greenery of the trees and the aging architecture of the cluster of grand halls, all roads lead to you.

It’s been a while since he’s come down this way, usually preferring the northern entrance closer to his quarters, but he couldn’t wait after his last, exhausting meeting finished. He wants to see you. He wants to see you as soon as possible. (And it’s been a long time since he’s let himself want.) With this fervent wish in his mind, he turns a corner and his eyes instinctively alight when he realizes it’s you standing further down this corridor.

He is about to call for you when he sees how you bring your arm around your stomach, obviously tense even beneath your hanbok. He knows the look too well — the way you curl in on yourself when you’re nervous or scared or uncertain, and even though he can only see half of your face right now, it leaves an acrid, bitter taste on his tongue. He immediately wants to go to you, to ask you why, but the nagging feeling that he’s not meant to be witnessing this holds him still.

Suddenly, you turn your body away and he realizes that in your free hand, you hold a small wooden box. Quickly, you shift back, bending down slightly as if wanting to leave it behind before you go, but you hesitate again. Seem to think better of it. And instead you walk away from him at a brisk pace, as if you can’t stand to be here any longer. Here, at Jipgyeongdang Hall, where he essentially banished all his father’s concubines that remained, to live with the other women of the court.

The king waits until you have disappeared from sight before moving from his spot. He walks until he replaces where you stood, realizing that it was in front of doors that must lead into the main living quarters. Why were you standing here? He frowns as he stares at the staunch lights coming from within, thinking he’d much rather just be with you now. He’s about to go when he hears the voices.

“But you’re right, the birthday banquets are the only real events I anticipate every year too! And to cancel it to save some measly grain is simply ridiculous.”

“Mhm, exactly. We used to have several a year when the last jeonha and daebi-mama were alive, but now we cannot have even one!”

A snicker. “Not like jeonha can risk getting that whore pregnant anyway.”

“Truly. Who does she think she is, monopolizing him like this? As if she isn’t just a lowborn.”

Anger rears in him, quick and violent as he takes an instinctive step forward.

These women. By choice, he has never been this close to them. Never caught their voices like this, saying words that he has once said himself, but now he’s certain from the way you reacted that this is not the first time you have overheard. The thought makes him even more protective, the hairs at the back of his neck bristling with the rage that simmers in his throat, burns at his heart. Fingers tensed, clenched into fists at his side, he considers throwing the doors open to cast all these former consorts out from the luxury of the palace they don’t deserve but instead—

Instead, he chooses you, like he always does. He has to make sure you are alright, that you are safe.

He starts to run.

“Jeonha!”

You greet him at the door with your usual smile, as if nothing has happened. He searches your delicate expression for any form of lingering discomfort but you hide it so well, so seamlessly that if he hadn’t seen that scene himself, he never would have known.

(How many times have you donned this mask for him? His chest constricts another inch with the thought.)

You invite him inside. Instantly, he takes note of the box on your table, the same that had been in your arms.

“What’s in there?” He asks. Tries to keep his voice neutral, even as he remembers how you’d looked, practically running away from that door.

You walk up to the table, tucking a bolt of hair behind your small ear. “This? Oh, it’s nothing, really. I just. I attempted to make some treats earlier with Jin-young-nim, but we made too much. They actually came out well this time, I think.” You’re smiling, playing coy but he knows you must be so proud. And rightly so.

“Give me one.”

He can feel the weight of your eyes on him, your nerves palpable as he chews the sweet. “Oh. That’s surprisingly good,” he says, finishing the bite. Lets his mouth widen with the grin it seems to so naturally sport whenever he’s with you.

“Surprisingly? Jeonha!” You laugh, but it sounds just a little too forced to his ears, too hollow when he’s studied every shade of the noise since you were mere children, innocents who knew nothing of what was to come.

Still, he lets himself enjoy the sound for the briefest moment before his palm finds the back of his neck — a nervous habit he’s never been able to shake. He takes a slow breath, and uses the time to decide exactly how he should phrase this. “But, ah, you didn’t have anyone to share the excess yakgwa with?”

Something sad flickers across your eyes for a blink.

“The other ladies…” You hesitate, biting your lip. “T-They’re just too busy to be having snacks with me.”

“And are they… perpetually so busy?”

Your hand drops to your stomach, palm spread across your skirt. “Yes. They are.”

The way your fingers worry the chima fabric makes him want to tell you that he knows what he’s seen. That he knows you’re lying. That he wants you to rely on him for support when you need it because you offer it so openly and freely to him and he is always, always taking advantage, but you have made a choice here. One he might not understand, but one he has to respect.

“Then I will simply eat them all,” he says, voice soft, and you show your teeth when you smile so brilliantly back at him. “But first…”

He grasps your wrist, pulling it away from cloth to instead bury in the silk of his robe. His other hand cups your chin, slightly chilled lips meeting yours. He pours thank you into the kiss, into the brief, hungry nips he makes at your bottom lip to beckon you closer. Thank you, for enduring this life silently. Thank you, for believing so fiercely that he is worth it.

You are truly, unfathomably strong. If he knows anything at all, he knows this.

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[acefaun]

Hello author-nim (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ Love your work on SCM Can I please request for part 3 Yandere SCM god's x reader ?

Yandere Zodiacs Pt3

Synopsis: Finally at home in the heavens, the fem-reader has to learn to play a submissive and compliant role if she wants to survive around 12 gods. Finding out the dark secrets behind her captivity, she finally snaps, leading to a cascade of unfortunate events.

✨Part 1✨ ✨Part 2✨ ✨Part 3✨ ✨Part 4✨

✨Masterlist✨

🩸Yandere Masterlist🩸

Female Goldfish! Warnings: violence, suicide, sexual harassment

A/N: (//∇//) I love you too! You can have all the yandere zodiacs you want! I also tried to give a little more Leo and Partheno so I hope I did that well. Part 3 was getting a bit on the longer side, so I cut it down and decided to make part 4. I'm halfway done part 4 too but I need opinions. 🤔 Do you guys want a good ending or a bad ending? Any specific requests for this or should I just flip a coin to decide your fate? ✨ I'm winging this entire plot so let me know if there are any gods you want more interaction with in the final part!

–Word Count: 12,346–

The day they moved me to the Heavens for good wasn't as bad as I had convinced myself it would be. They gave me a couple of days' notice to accept my fate, but it was still a significant and depressing change from Earth. It was a more considerable change than I was ready for. I wasn't allowed to roam as free as I could on Earth. I was only allowed to venture as I pleased on the floor where our rooms were. It made sense because I was such a fragile human in a dangerous world of gods. Though, they assured me many times that they would keep me safe.

The only thing that hadn't changed was their high expectations of me. I was expected to listen to the gods and be with them as they wished for my company. Fortunately, they weren't always horrible company, and sometimes they gave me my personal space. But sometimes, they just wanted to keep me close.

“You seem tense,” Karno commented, rubbing my arm. He turned slightly toward me as I shifted against him, trying to find another comfortable position since he moved. But he was intent on reading my expression. “Hey, I know this is a big change for you, but it's for the better. It's much cleaner here than on Earth.” He paused before he finally hit the nail on the head, “Are you worried about the other gods?”

“Yes.”

“You trust us, don't you?” He watched my timid nod, and he smiled slightly. “Good. We wouldn't let anyone hurt you. None of the gods here would dare touch you knowing what we would do.”

I hated when they picked up on my depression. Their reassurances never made me feel much better. They were always threatening me or those around me. There was always a lot of emphasis on how they would do anything to keep me safe with them.

I'd once witnessed them take a god’s stars for accidentally plowing into me when Teorus took me on a date. I'd never seen Teorus so terrifying. They didn't listen when I tried to defend the god for the accident, but I just drove myself into a hole of trouble. They accused me of throwing myself onto other men, using it as an excuse to punish me for allowing such a thing to happen–I was trying to defend the god, after all.

Typically, that was how punishments were brought about since I started submitting to them to please them and avoid punishment. They only ever punished me when they misunderstood something because I was sure I didn't deserve their punishments otherwise. But a surprising thing to note was how different the gods had ways of punishing me, even the Wishes gods.

Gods like Huedhaut and Karno were less physical with their lessons and preferred to have me help them with work and the like. I never appreciated a god so much for their leniency.

Gods like Partheno, Tauxolouve, and Leon had more… perverted ways of handling their punishments, but none of them had ever stooped so low as to force me into sex or anything sinful. I was grateful they had at least some modicum of self-control.

Then there were gods like Dui and Aigonorus who gave significantly lighter punishments–or they just let another god handle it entirely. Aigonorus was lazy, after all, and Dui was remarkably softer on me–which Zyglavis constantly reminded me not to abuse Dui’s kindness. Of course, there was always Shadow Dui to consider. He had to be supervised if he ever had a punishment for me, lest he was to kill me accidentally. Being that I was terrified of Shadow Dui, abusing Dui’s kindness was the last thing I planned on doing.

Ichthys was a different breed of god altogether. He was the one to embarrass me in front of everyone as a punishment. That was usually how his punishments worked, so I was no different from his other human targets. He thought it was fun to make me a humiliated mess in front of the other gods–it didn't help that the other gods believed I deserved such treatment for “acting out.” Their smug expressions only egged Ichthys on and made me feel worse.

But then there were the traditional gods like Krioff, Scorpio, and Zyglavis, who claimed to give merciful punishments, but they seemed like the worst punishments to me–as told by the person on the receiving end. They just claimed I would learn better from their punishments and have a less likely chance of repeating my mistake, and that was why they were so “merciful.”

Still, it was rare to get a punishment, as I said. They had to deliberately set me up for failure for me to earn something so cruel. On the other hand, my obedience and good behavior got me rewards from the gods. Some of them were worth trying to please. For instance, Partheno liked to bathe me and lavish me with wonderful scents. The best part was that he was only interested in making sure I was beautiful inside and out for him; he never pressured me into further physical contact. Then, Zyglavis' kisses were rare and soft and showed that he was highly pleased with my behavior. The wishes gods were the ones who gave the best rewards. Though, I had to be careful when they offered me a free wish… Asking for the wrong thing could easily lead to a change of heart and end up with me being punished.

“There you are.” My head snapped up as Partheno called for my attention. Karno also regarded him with curiosity, and he continued, “I was just preparing a nice bath when my goldfish didn't show up like she was supposed to.”

“I- I was with Karno,” I weakly excused myself. In truth, I forgot that Partheno had even offered me a bath. “I'm sorry. It's just earlier than I usually take a bath.”

“It can never be too early for a bath, love,” Partheno waved off my lame excuse, taking my hands to tug me behind him.

I was thankful Karno didn't mind that he was just taking me away like that. Sometimes the gods clashed with each other when spending time with me. I never had any say in the matter, so my opinion was voided regarding who got me. “Partheno?” He hummed, glancing back at me. I tilted my head. “Are you okay with letting me spend time with the other gods?”

He paused, incidentally causing me to walk into him. But he turned to me with a curious tilt of his head. “Are you curious as to if I'm jealous?”

“That- That isn't it.” I quickly shook my head. I didn't need to be sending the wrong message. “I was just wondering. Some of the other gods argue over me, but they never let me help. Like, if Karno had told you, I would stay with him instead of going with you. And then you would have probably got mad, and then Karno would have gotten mad. But I wouldn't have been able to say anything, and you would have fought because whoever I want to hang out with doesn't matter.”

“Of course, your opinion matters,” He let out an airy scoff. “As long as it's the right opinion, of course.”

“I don't understand!” I pouted, only serving to make Partheno amused. But his amusement only made me upset, proving that he didn't care. “I feel like no one cares about me. I'm just here to be passed around for entertainment…”

“(Name),” He took my chin between his fingers, and seeing his face, he was no longer smiling. He probably pitied me. “Of course, we care about you. Otherwise, we wouldn't have gone through so much trouble bringing you here and keeping you safe. You have no idea how much we love you.” I wasn't sure they knew what love was, but I wouldn't tell him otherwise.

Partheno took his time with me, treating me like a goddess rather than their human captive. He made sure I smelled like flowers before he gave me fresh clothes to put on and blow-dried my hair. But I was growing curious. I never asked the gods for anything, and it made me wonder if they would be angry if I were to start demanding things from them. They provided human necessities for me and took care of me. Would they think I was ungrateful if I asked for something? I should start small to test the waters… “Partheno?” He hummed as he finished brushing through my dried hair. “You love me… Right?”

“Darling,” his voice was suddenly admonishing, making me tense up for a moment. “Were you not listening to me? You're such a handful. Of course, I love you. Such a silly question.”

“Um…” I gnawed on my lip before turning to look back at him. “Would you fix my hair for me?”

He was caught off guard by how timid my question was, but his smile widened as he turned my head away from him, grabbing the brush again. “Of course, love. I'll make you look gorgeous. Those other gods won't be able to keep their eyes off of you.”

So they were willing to do things for me. It was probably a matter of asking for the right thing, but the fact that they were willing was enough for me. It made me think about all the things I could ask for that I'd left behind on Earth.

“Ah, perfect,” Partheno sighed, his fingers delicately brushing through my bangs to ensure they weren't in my eyes. “Eye-catching, love. Now, I have work to finish. Would you like to stay with me?”

And watch punishments? No thanks! “N- No, not really. I wanted to show the others how you fixed my hair.”

He nodded his head with an affirmative hum. “Of course, how thoughtless of me. Go on. Show them all how beautiful I've made you. They'll be so jealous.” My cheeks heated up as he leaned down, pecking my lips so gently before pulling away as if nothing had happened. Kisses were surprisingly rare from them, but it made me flustered regardless of how many times their lips met mine.

I offered him a quiet “thank you” before escaping the warm room. He tied my hair up intricately, much like how I would see some of the goddesses with their hair. I would have considered it nice, but there was always the constant feeling that I should keep my distance from them. They acted friendly, but they were my captors, not my friends. Still, things were going smoothly between us, and I wanted to keep it that way.

I was sure the other gods of the palace were fully aware and used to my presence in the Heavens. I was taken out on dates by the other gods often enough that everyone should know me. I was sure it would have been a good thing, but some didn't like how close I was to the gods–namely, jealous goddesses. They were the type of gods who frightened me.

Walking along the designated halls that I could roam through, I paused upon turning a corner. There were the very goddesses I never wanted to meet up with on my own. But still, I wasn't sure why they were there, and I had no intention of speaking to them.

But, I was unlucky in my endeavor to escape as one called out. “Human, come here!” I froze at their summon, but I wasn't sure if I had to listen to them; They weren't the zodiac gods. “The ignorance of the thing.” She muttered, she and the other four goddesses approaching me. “Not listening to a noble goddess, selfishly taking the attention of the gods. The audacity of a filthy human.”

“You're not allowed on this floor,” I pointed out, scrambling to put distance between us. Only, there was nowhere I could run so swiftly. I knew going to the Heavens with the gods would be nothing good. These goddesses were simply jealous of my attention, but little did they know I would give anything to go back home. “It's not like I wanted to be here. It's not my fault…”

There was a scoff, and one said, “Let me guess, it's their fault you're such a wicked human.”

“It's their fault I'm here!”

“Oh?” They glanced at each other. “I was jealous, but with an ungrateful attitude like that, there's no way they'll keep you for very long. Everything they do for you… and you still act like a disgraceful child.”

“Everything they do for me…” I muttered under my breath, no longer worried about their aggressive approach. Still, they looked prepared to harm me if I didn't do something to please them. “Everything they've ever done for me has hurt me! I hate them!” It was bold for me to be yelling things like that, but I didn't know what these goddesses would do to me. Unlike my gods, these were unpredictable, and I knew they would strike if given a chance. Even if it was nothing good, I hoped my shouting would attract someone to shield me from these women. “I hate being here! I hate all of you! You're cold-hearted goddesses that are jealous of a helpless human!”

Her strike was quick and expected, leaving my cheek stinging and hot. Still, it wasn’t as bad as a strike from the other gods, and I could almost laugh at her weakness. But she didn’t relent until she had shoved me to the floor below her. She was glowering down at me when I glared up at her. “A human with so much hate in its heart. How does the Department of Punishments even deal with it?”

“What do you think you’re doing here?”

Our heads flew to the newcomer, and the goddesses became flustered in his presence. “Lord Leon…”

He didn’t address them right away. He lifted me off the ground, staring at me for a long moment as I quickly used him as a shield, gripping his shirt. His eyes then flew back to the goddesses who were standing by awkwardly. “Leave at once. I’ll have your blatant disrespect noted. You’ll be fittingly punished for trespassing in these halls and laying a hand on my goldfish.”

“Lord Leon, we’re so-”

“Enough with your baseless apologies. Leave.” His words were strict, not leaving them with any room to argue. Still, he was amused at how tightly I was gripping his jacket. “Those were some bold words you were screaming.” My hands only seemed to ball tighter into his coat at the prospect that he was angry at what I said. “It’s hard to believe you hate me that much with how you’re clinging to me for protection.”

“But you lied to me,” I responded quietly, catching him off guard. “You told me I’d be safe in the Heavens.”

I was right; he knew that. They screwed up. Still, this incident wouldn’t be an excuse for me to beg to go home. They had to fix this and get some trust instilled back into me. “I don’t want to hear that out of your mouth again,” he snapped, his hand suddenly feeling much heavier on my shoulder. “I’m here, aren’t I? Didn’t I step in to protect you? What are you being ungrateful for? Maybe I should let those jealous goddesses have at you.”

Grasping the back of my shirt to pull me away from him, I only desperately held onto him tighter. “No! I’m sorry!” Leon usually wasn’t one to throw around threats and not live up to them. If he suddenly stepped aside and left me vulnerable, I’d be hounded by the bloodthirsty gods. “Please, don’t leave me, Leo. They were ready to really hurt me.”

He huffed at how softly I said his name. I was terrified enough, thanks to those ignorant women. It was his turn to step in and show how relying on the zodiac gods was the best thing to do. “I will protect you from those vicious women that call themselves ‘noble’ goddesses. You don’t need to rely on anyone but us to save you. Just put your faith in us.” Leaning toward me, he tilted my chin up, his face only inches away from mine. “You can do that, can’t you? How much do you trust me?”

There was only one correct answer, and he waited for it as his thumb gently traced my jawline. “With my life.”

The corners of his lips curled upward. “That’s a good girl.” His lips were soft as he enveloped mine. He salvaged this situation, but there was still work to be done.

***

They made their plan after those goddesses had come to harass me. They had a meeting excluding me, deciding to block off that part of the palace from uninvited gods. It was the best course of action, considering I could roam free in those few halls, and they weren’t about to take me back to Earth.

“Hey, (Name),” Teorus called as he opened the door of my room with his princely smile. “How are you doing? Feeling better?”

Teorus was a god I had seen less of before the goddess incident. While most of the other gods were single, they had focused their attention on me rather than the other goddesses. Teorus still gave the goddesses his love since he always said he had enough to share. But since the incident, he had been spending more time with me and giving those goddesses the cold shoulder, as if to personally punish them for their actions.

But I hadn’t left the floor since they declared it blocked off. I hadn’t left my room much without an escort, and I started to feel as trapped as when I was first stuck in the mansion. I shook my head, looking back at Teorus. “It’s quiet in here… Can we go outside?”

At first, he was surprised by my request, but he was glad I was getting over my fear of being around other gods. “Only if you promise to hold my hand. I can’t have you getting lost.”

I nodded my head, silently agreeing to his terms. The minute I got to the door, he waited for me to make the first move, seeing if I would hold up to my promise on my own. But when I saw that he was just walking away after closing my door, I quickly ran to catch up with him. My hand latched around his as if he were the only thing between me and cruel death. It was their fault I was in this dangerous place, so I would abuse their desire to have me near them. I would make sure they couldn't leave me by myself by keeping a firm hold of them.

It was equally quiet outside. The birds were faintly chirping in the trees, but other than that, it was void of gods. I pointed over to the pavilion in the center of the garden. “I want to sit there. I'm tired.”

“Huh? Okay…” He replied slowly and suspiciously. We hadn't walked that far. He didn't think humans got tired quickly, but he granted my wish. It was when we were sitting there that he casually commented, “Doesn't this make us feel more like a couple? Here, you should lean on me if you're tired.”

His arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, not allowing room for argument. He pulled me up against him, letting me lean my head on his shoulder. It was moments like these that made me wonder if things could have been different. His comment stirred a thought in me, and I wondered what things could have been like if they hadn't locked me up like a prisoner. What if they had been humane about it? Could I have fallen in love with gods?

The thought was entertaining, but I was determined to keep an emotional distance as things were. I would use them for protection and to get things I needed to live. It was no different from how they used me for whatever sick thoughts were in their heads. Did they actually believe this was love?

***

It was another day of staying in my room. Since yesterday, no one had come to get me after Zyglavis firmly said I wasn't to leave my room until told otherwise. It made me wonder if something was going on. But a whole day had passed, surely it was all over, and I could return to business as usual. Besides, they only gave me food yesterday, and my stomach was starting to growl.

Carefully, I poked my head out of my room, peering up and down the hall, searching for a god. I hated how much I had to rely on them, but this wasn't going to be forever. Right? I convinced myself that this was only temporary and that I'd be able to go home one day. I just had to satisfy them until then.

Creeping out of the room, I carefully walked down the hall. The sooner I could make it back to my room, the better. I didn't want to be out on my own, so I made a quick trip down the hall and to the living room. Quietly, I cracked open the door, slipping myself in. But I froze.

My eyes were wide on the gods before me. It took them a moment to recognize me, but I recognized them in a split second. These were the gods who kidnapped me and tried to kill me. They were the ones who destroyed my home, forcing me to live with the gods and move to the Heavens. They were there, calmly chatting with Partheno, Tauxolouve, Dui, and Huedhaut. Were they friends? Of course, the gods were behind this the whole time! Huedhaut was brilliant; I bet he came up with this plan to lure me into trusting them with my life. All they needed to do was get a few gods to try and kill me so they could look like the heroes.

My feet were already instinctively backing me away when they noticed me. Partheno looked panicked upon realizing that I walked in at the wrong time. They had to rectify this immediately, especially after seeing my state. “(Name); hold on. We can explain. These are-”

“You're working with them…” My voice was quiet, cracking slightly as my wavering hands balled into fists, ready to fight anyone who got close. They were behind this the whole time! I wasn't in any real danger; they were the ones putting me in danger. They put on a show to scare me into feeling like I had nowhere else to go. They backed me into a corner like wolves, only to disguise themselves like deceitful sheep once they had me where they wanted me. “You're the ones who have been ruining my life! You've been pulling these strings behind the scenes! You've been lying this whole time!”

“There's no need to raise your voice at us,” Dui awkwardly tried to reprimand me. “If you would calm down and let us explain-”

“E- Explain?” I stuttered out, furious at the scene before me. “Explain what?! That you were the ones that almost got me killed so you could manipulate me into trusting you and obeying you?! I'm tired of your bull shit! You're a bunch of lying demons!” I wasn't going to obey them now. I wasn't going to lower my voice. I wasn't going to stop as I turned to leave.

“Come back here!”

But I ran despite their calls for me to stop. I ran past Aigonorus in the hall, though he might have been sleepwalking, considering it took him a minute to realize I just ran past him. “What… Hey. Where are you running?” It took him yet another moment to figure out I was running from other gods, and he put two and two together, realizing I was doing something I wasn't supposed to. “I'll go get Leo and the others.”

I didn't care who he got. I was going to be long gone. Running from the palace, I wasn't sure where I was going. I was introduced to many places in the Heavens, but none where they wouldn’t be able to find me. I was tired of this, of them. But they would never let me go, even if I had learned their horrible secret. These wolves had shed their sheepskin. Was the only other option left to me death? It would be a permanent way to get rid of my problem.

I was out of options. I didn't have anyone else that could help me. I was lost and alone, exactly as they intended for me to be.

There were so many up and down inclines. But I was growing exhausted from my constant running. The only thing that kept me going was the pure adrenaline rushing through me.

“(Name)!” They were still calling for me. Aigonorus had alerted all 12 of them about what was happening, even if he didn't know why. He just knew that I was trying to escape again. But he didn't know that I would escape this time–maybe not the way I wanted to, but I would escape.

Still, I promised myself, this was the last time.

I heard them faintly behind me as I finally lost my footing, the ground disappearing past the cliff I was on. Only… I don't remember what happened after that. I fainted from fear before I could hit the rocks below.

It was dark the entire time I was… there. Wherever I was, I assumed it was a world between life and death, but what would I know? It felt like I was trapped in darkness for too long. There was no way to tell time. One thought blended into the next, and I wondered if I would be there forever. Part of me was afraid of my new prison, but another was relieved. I finally escaped, didn't I? I would never be used and manipulated like that again. Gods were no better than humans or demons. I hoped they would all meet their ends as well.

But I felt a searing pain in my head. My head? Did I have one of those in death? Apparently so with how much it burned. It felt like my head would burst like a volcano at any given moment. But I couldn't feel my body. I couldn't reach up and soothe my pain; I couldn't move at all–which is why I was convinced I didn't have a body.

My headache was constant in the dark world. I thought it might have been my soul in pain, but this was a very human headache, and I had no idea how long I had had it.

But finally, I felt something other than the pain in my head. My chest was also feeling funny. I could feel the pressure of fabric every time my chest rose and fell. But what was I feeling? Was my dead soul trying to manifest itself into a solid form? Was I turning into a ghost with feelings? But I could breathe; ghosts didn't need to breathe… Right?

Slowly, sensation returned to the rest of my body, and I recognized how tired I was. My body was heavily weighted as though it hadn't moved in centuries. Still, I forced my limbs to move. I needed to find out where I was.

On cue with my body, my eyes finally peeked open, and my first thoughts were how I wasn't dead. I didn't understand how I could be lying in a bed after everything. But I did know one thing for sure… I was ravenous. It felt like I hadn't eaten in years.

I turned my head slightly, my eyes narrowing on the room around me. It wasn't any of the Gods' rooms, and it certainly wasn't my room. I had never seen this one before. It wasn't that big compared to the other rooms I'd been in. It might have been half the size of any of the Gods' rooms, with just a chair, a coffee table, and a bed to fill it. Turning my head toward the window, I noted that it was the middle of the day, but something shiny on my bed caught my attention.

Slowly sitting up, my eyes widened at the slight tug I felt on my neck, the golden chain on my bed following my movements. Tears welled in my eyes as I frantically tugged on the chain. It didn't hurt my neck to pull on it so violently, which told me they were ensuring I couldn't harm myself in this room. Following the chain, I grabbed its base by the wall and started to tug on it furiously. I planted my feet on the wall beside it to try and pry it from the wall, but it never budged.

I was supposed to be dead! How could they do this to me again?! I put all my frustration into pulling at the chain. I tried using various objects to break the chain, but I only ended up splintering the chair and flipping the table against the wall since it was too heavy to drag toward the chain. I cried in frustration, my room looking as unkempt as I felt.

I hated them. I would never forgive them. Everything was their fault. The frustrated tears flowed with my sniffles as I curled beside the bed. I was just out of reach of the splintered wood but out of sight from the door. The chain lay on the floor for me to glare at it. They barely treated me like a person to begin with; this was just an all-new low.

I listened as the door creaked open and footsteps scurried in. After they assessed the situation, they no sooner left the room. I wasn't sure how long I waited for someone to come after that, but the room was silent aside from my sniffles. It was another few minutes before the door opened again. “You’re awake.” My skin crawled at hearing the voice of a god. Zyglavis was standing just on the other side of the bed. “You've destroyed the room we've given you. Its condition is up to you. We will not be fixing it.”

“I don't want anything from you,” I hissed at him, not getting up to look at him. I knew the minute I laid eyes on him, I’d want to kill him with my own two hands–a feat I knew would be impossible to accomplish.

“Stubborn,” He muttered, making his way around the bed to view my pathetic form. I was dressed in the simple white t-shirt and pants they gave me. “Foolish goldfish. Even attempting to end your own life will not steal you from us. Death will not do us part, love.” I knew as much. They saved me from death yet again. It only served to anger me further, though. “You wouldn’t be here if you had listened when I told you to stay in your room. Your further behavior will determine how long you are to be punished here.”

How could he have anticipated my next move? The longer he spoke, the more fired up I got. I couldn't stand hearing his voice as he continued to tell me how my life was going to be. He expected me to lash out, but he didn't think I'd grow the nerve to strike at him. My fist sent his head reeling to the side. He probably wasn't struck too hard by a human, but the shock made him react so slowly.

I winced as his hand latched around my wrist, but it didn't stop my series of defiant kicks and punches. I was going to lash out at him with all the strength I had. “I don't care! I was supposed to die! How can you manage to take everything from me?! I- Agh!” My vision spun after a harsh blow struck my head. My skull made a quiet thud against the floor, and I struggled to shake off the sudden punishment.

He glared down at me impassively. “You’re acting like a pathetic wild creature that must be tamed.” He sneered as I lifted myself onto my knees, still willing to fight him. “It's not beyond us to keep you like this forever.” I collapsed again as he struck another harsh blow to the top of my head, moving much too fast for me to avoid him. But I groaned as he gripped my chin, his fingers digging painfully into my cheeks. “We can bring you back from death on a whim, so do not doubt that we can break you and mold you as we please. We love you, and won't allow this to continue.”

“I told you… I don't care! Maybe you didn't hear me!” I didn't care about anything they did. I couldn't die, but I also couldn't live, so what was the point in giving them what they wanted? “You ruined my life with your twisted love. I'm not going to make yours easy just because you had the nerve to bring me back.”

His fingers snapped, and the minute the noise registered in my ears, he already let me crumple to the ground. It was his favorite punishment. My organs twisted painfully inside of me. It hurt enough to cry out about it, but it wasn't enough to render me unconscious. That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted me to suffer.

“Karno was going to bring you a meal later… But I'll let him know to bring that beastly lion with him.” With that information, he left me alone to suffer in silence.

I wasn't sure what kind of threat that was, but I knew I wouldn't enjoy facing off against both Leon and Karno. I couldn't move with the torture to my organs, but I swore I would make their visit just as bad as Zyglavis’. I would let them know I hated them wholeheartedly.

Minutes… Maybe a few hours had passed since he left me in pain. It waned and grew, drawing whines and screams out of me. But no one came to relieve the agony. Not until the short knock on the door and two pairs of feet walked in. I flinched at the snap of fingers, but all that happened was my torture ebbing away.

Karno tilted his head as he observed me with a plate in his hands. “That looks sufficient. Will you behave long enough to eat?”

“I don't want your food.”

The response was immediate, but Leon was prepared for my defiance. “You don't let him feed you, and I promise you won't enjoy having an angry god force you to eat.”

“I don't want your food,” I said with twice as much emphasis on my broken words.

It was silent between us, the air thick. It was expected for me to act out, but Karno at least thought I'd accept standard human necessities. With that assumption in mind, he made the mistake of getting too close to a wrathful, agonized human. As soon as he was close enough to try and feed me, I lashed out and threw the bowl out of his hands, the glass shattering on the floor and mixing with its oatmeal-looking contents.

Before Karno could react, Leon already pinned me to the floor, livid that I'd struck at his vice-minister. They'd emotionally manipulated me before. I wasn't going to let them do it again. I wasn't going to back down. I didn't care how much it hurt–and it was painful to go up against gods.

They didn't take my refusal to eat kindly. Leon's hand wrapped firmly in my hair, keeping me in place as he forced my jaw to open and close himself. He made sure I couldn't spit out anything Karno gave me, making sure I swallowed everything between spoonfuls. They knew as well as I did that it wouldn't be healthy for me not to eat. But that was the point, wasn't it? I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to be near them, and it frustrated me.

When they left, my room was still a disaster. Shards of wood and shredded fabric littered the floor, and the bowl of food Karno initially had stayed spilled where it was by the wall. I didn't want this. I didn't want any of it. I hated that they forced me to eat. I hated them. After stewing around the bed for a few minutes, I decided I wouldn't take it. I had to do everything I could to spite them.

I stared down at my hands for a moment. I'd never done this sort of thing before, but I wouldn't let them get away with this. My hand was shaking as I stuck my fingers as far into my mouth as they could go, trying desperately to trigger my gag reflex. I choked and coughed, struggling to accomplish a painful task. But the heaving came fast; the food they gave me quickly joined the rest of the spoiled food on the floor.

It wasn't healthy, and it felt worse, coupled with Zyglavis’ previous punishment. The stomach acid made my throat sore, but I didn't dwell on it. I was exhausted, and the sun gave way to the night sky. Oh, how I hated the night sky.

I fell asleep, glaring hatefully at the stars that littered the darkness.

***

“You damn thing!”

“Scorpio, calm down.”

“We're gonna let the damn goldfish kill itself?!”

“No. We're going to fix this.” Zyglavis paused. “I'll handle training this goldfish personally.”

I heard their voices from the door of my room, but I never moved to acknowledge them. It was better to pretend they weren't there at all. The thought of having Zyglavis train me made my heart race in fear. Leon had always played ‘training’ games with me when I was alone with him, but I had a feeling Zyglavis would be nothing like Leon.

Finally, only one god walked into my room. “Get up, stupid woman. Zyglavis has enough of your bull shit.” I instantly sat up at the clicking of the chain, but no sooner did Scorpio have it wrapped in his hand. He grabbed the base of it near my neck and mercilessly pulled me behind him. It wasn’t that it hurt my neck or anything–they ensured it wouldn't–it was the fact that he didn't wait for me to get my footing. He was half-dragging my stumbling form to the living room, where the other gods were gathered.

As soon as Scorpio was sitting on the sofa, he released the base of the chain but kept the end of it wound around his hand in case I tried anything stupid like running.

But I didn't have the chance to think through my options before Leon took the end of my collar in his hand, yanking me up to his seat where I didn't expect anything good with the sneer he was giving me. “All we expected was for you to be good and listen. We didn't expect godly feats out of an unintelligent goldfish. Still, you disrespect and disobey us. Do you think I was pleased when I found out what you did to the food that Karno and I took our time to feed you? You ungrateful brat.” His fingers wove in my unkempt hair, drawing a whimper out of me as he shoved my face down onto his thigh. “Would you like it if I fed you something else?! I'd force you to keep it down this time.”

My heart raced as I contemplated his meaning. I wish I didn't think so hard about it because the thought brought tears to my eyes. I knew Leon was one of the more dangerous gods to cross. He would do unspeakable things given a chance. “No,” I tried to deny him. Maybe I could preserve my power of consent at the very least.

“What?” He sounded mocking, only drawing my face closer to his crotch. I shut my eyes, but I couldn't pull away from the hold he had on me. My hands, feebly pushing away at his legs, couldn't give me enough room between us. “Imagine, you could get out of all of this punishment if you'd accept what I was giving you. It isn't that hard. Besides, I'm offering you a little snack. It's the last thing you'll certainly get in a long time.”

But my chain was yanked, and I fell back onto the ground when Leon’s hand untangled from my hair. This time, it wasn't Scorpio holding my chain, it was Karno, and Karno looked scarier than I ever recalled seeing him. “That's enough, Leo. You know you can't get this goldfish out of punishment regardless of what you have her do.” He knelt on the ground, gesturing me closer as if I were a timid puppy. Not that he was surprised when I didn't move. He simply tugged on the chain, forcing me to crawl over to his kneeling form, where he softly caressed my cheek. “We will leave your training up to the Chief Minister of Punishments. That sounds fair, doesn't it? I suppose it's up to you how long this training will take. Or, perhaps, regardless of how much you beg and promise to obey us, he'll continue your training. He'll push you to the brink until you believe the words coming out of your own mouth.”

“An apt assumption, Karno,” Zyglavis praised as he finally joined the rest of the gods, gazing down at me with cold eyes. His eyes were those of a man that learned from past mistakes. Offering humans mercy was not an option if he wanted them to learn. “I will not cease for even a moment until any and all thoughts of disobedience are silenced. You will be rewarded for good behavior throughout your training. Any acting out will have grave consequences.”

That wasn't fair. He was treating me like a dog. They were all treating me this way. They were all watching, wanting me to accept my position so this could be over with and we could go back to the way things were before. I was a good goldfish before I tried to leave them. They just wanted that back.

But I was tired of being docile and letting them do what they wanted. I was tired of them. I wanted to go home; I wanted to die; I wanted anything away from them.

Maybe they'd grow tired of ‘training’ me if I kept doing the opposite of what they wanted. They had lied to me countless times before. I wanted out of there.

Suddenly lunging on Karno, I caused a stir in the gods. He was surprised enough to let go of my chain once I'd knocked him down onto his back. Almost immediately, I scrambled to get away, bunching the chain in my arms. I paused as Krioff was standing at the door, blocking my exit. But Ichthys was also behind me, leaving me nowhere to go. I knew it was a long shot to steal my chain and try to run. But at least I didn't have them tugging my neck all over.

Warily, I backed away from them, only finding myself in the living room corner. It wasn't a much better situation I found myself in. “Come on,” Ichthys coaxed as he slowly approached me. None of the other gods had moved just yet. “Fighting is only going to make us angry.”

I didn't care about making them angry at this point. I just wanted them to stop. My heart jumped in my throat when Ichthys lunged at me. Only my reflexes got me out of the way in time.

I wasn't entirely sure how it happened. It wasn't a conscious thought; my body moved on its own, and no sooner did I have Ichthys pulled on top of me, the chain wrapped around his neck. It took all of my strength to hold him back. But it didn't take long for him to stop his fighting, his hands fumbling with the chain around his neck.

“Is this what you want to do?” A voice broke through my fear-hazed mind.

My eyes searched around, my gaze meeting that of Zyglavis. So finally, I said, “No, no! I just want to go home! I didn't want any of this! I didn't want to hurt anyone.”

“You don't want this blood on your hands?” He asked with a tilted head, noting my frozen state. Even Ichthys had stopped moving above me as if I had already killed him. “Ichthys is the only mortal among us gods. For you to kill such a young god… I imagine that's something that would haunt you.”

“I…” I paused. He wasn't wrong. My heart was thudding harshly against my rib cage at the thought of ending someone's life. But really, all of these gods deserved to die. They were cruel. They didn't deserve to be as powerful as they were. “I just want to go home,” I repeated. “Let me go home.” Let me go home, and I won't kill him. That's what I wanted to say, but the threat wouldn't come out. I couldn't kill someone.

“You think you have the right to bargain with us in your situation? Kill him or not; you know what will happen, and we’re not feeling overly patient.” Meaning I couldn’t die no matter what path I chose. This lack of choices pissed me off. I was only stalling for time when it came down to it.

“Did you know…” Huedhaut spoke up from the side of the room, his arms crossed as he watched me. The room was quiet, so his factual tone was quite startling. “The head is the reason humans maintain their balance. Your brain is constantly signaling where your center of balance is located. It’s how humans can move without falling this way and that.” My eyes narrowed in confusion, and my grip loosened on the useless chains in my hands as he continued his rant. “So, you see, it was clever of me to come up with giving you a collar rather than shackles on your limbs. As we would have it, whichever way we pull your little head, your body will naturally follow.” I shut my eyes as he snapped his fingers, but I found myself back on my feet with the chain gone from my hands. A tug from it sent me reeling back, falling onto the floor. I scrambled to get back up, but another harsh yank ensured that I couldn’t find my footing. “Do you see?”

I turned, finding Huedhaut with the end of the chain in his hands. He enjoyed tormenting me as much as tormenting the other gods on a good day. Only, I knew that none of them were feeling too merciful with me. “Hue…”

His low chuckles were unsettling. “Are you already going to begin your pleading? I was disappointed not to be included in your training, but I feel Zyglavis knows what he’s doing. Besides, I might just be the last bit of comfort you receive in a long while.” He kneeled in front of me, leaning closer as his fingers rested under my chin. But I clenched my jaw in frustration. I pulled away from him as I shoved at his chest. He hummed in confusion, gazing at me.

I bowed my head, ready to headbutt him if he tried to kiss me again. My voice was shaky as I defiantly said, “I don’t want your comfort. I don’t want anything from any of you.”

This time, his hum was one of amusement, and he tilted his head. “I’ll have to test that determination of yours once you’ve thoroughly begun your training.” He dropped the chain beside him, leaving me tensed up on the floor. I was confused about why he would just leave the chain like that, but I soon realized it was connected to another wall, just out of reach of the sofas. Was the living room where he wanted to train me? What was he even planning on doing?

My eyes flitted around for the god in question, and I finally found him conversing with Karno. My gaze seemed to call to him, and he immediately glanced in my direction. “I suppose you’re ready then.”

His face was as expressionless as I recalled seeing when he worked in his room. It gave me no hints about his plan, but when he snapped his fingers, I should have expected the familiar pain to blossom within my abdomen, making me hunch over. I was familiar with this punishment; what was so different that it would suddenly make me obey them?

I made too many wrong assumptions about their new plan for me. The last time they punished me severely was because I snuck out onto the balcony without permission. This was much bigger than that, and as much as I wanted to avoid it, I had to face the consequences of my actions. They would get tired eventually, right?

But apparently, I was placed in the living room since they wanted to work simultaneously and watch my progress. But even more sadistic than that, Zyglavis wanted me to be aware of the passage of time while I suffered.

I noted how we started early in the morning, so it continued for hours when I finally recognized the stars outside. Gods continuously came in and out of the room, almost ignoring my writhing and whimpering. The only one that remained on the sofa nearly constantly was Zyglavis. He was in charge of this, overseeing every moment of it.

My eyes widened as he suddenly snapped his fingers, and the pain ebbed away enough for me to stop wriggling uncomfortably. “Are you tired yet? Humans are usually well asleep at this hour.” His question was met with silence, though he knew the obvious answer. “Good. I need you both physically and mentally exhausted if I'm to get through to you. Let's continue then.” His fingers snapped, and a cry of agony escaped my lips. This was a new sensation that I wasn't familiar with, but if I had to describe it, I would say it felt like being impaled by a sword with a ragged edge.

That, coupled with his previous form of punishment, made me feel like my mind would be the next thing to go. It was maddening to feel external pain from something that wasn't even there. To make my situation worse, it was non-stop suffering. I couldn't stay still enough to get even a wink of sleep. I watched the sunrise and sunset too many times. The gods had stopped to talk to me often, but I couldn't do anything but lay there in my despair.

Was this better than what we had before? So what if they lied to me? At least they were taking care of me. I wasn't in pain for days on end. Why weren't they taking care of me anymore? My mind was too muddled with pain to recall why I was suffering. Why was I being punished again? Because I ran away? Why did I run away from them? They were plotting with the gods that tried to kill me. They were all liars and damn good manipulators.

But what did it matter? I shook my head. Why was I fighting them again? It was only making more trouble than I could handle. Was this going to keep happening if I didn't apologize? When would he stop? Did he have a predetermined schedule for me?

“Wake up. You've rested enough.” The voice sounded muffled, and I wondered where it was coming from. As I opened my eyes, my head was pounding, finding Zyglavis standing above me. Did I fall asleep? When did the pain stop? But immediately, I was struck by the fear that he would soon start again. “Do you want food?” He knelt beside me, but instantly, I tried to scuttle my pained body away. “Stop moving. You'll not be punished right now. Are you hungry?”

I was starving, but I couldn't decide on what to do. What kind of answer did he want? Would he feed me if I said yes, or would he starve me to get his point across further? What was his point again? All this pain and suffering distracted me from why this was even happening. But when he suddenly shifted, a whimper left my lips as my hand darted out to grasp his pants leg weakly. If he left, the pain would start again, wouldn't it? Quietly, I was able to get out one hoarse word, “Yes.”

He hummed in approval of my answer. Despite my pain, he didn't hesitate to move me into a sitting position against him. He wasn't affected in the least bit as he broke off pieces of a bar he held in his hand to feed me himself.

For some reason, I didn't mind my position. There was a tiny spark inside of me that was yelling at me to fight, to do something. A furious feeling nagged at my heart, pressuring me to act. But I was in pain and hungry, so I was eating.

So, the feeling continued to nag at me until it manifested into thought, you're going to sit here and let them do this again? You're going to be compliant with them? They'll never send you home if you cooperate with them.

Abruptly, my hand shot up, catching Zyglavis’ wrist. I was too tired to fight him, which caused frustration to well up in me. I was doing this so I could go home. I couldn't believe I had almost forgotten why I was fighting him. All of my memories were muddled, making me wonder if that had something to do with their powers. Would I just forget again and again until the memories and feelings were gone completely?

Zyglavis sighed above me with my tight grip on his wrist, no longer allowing him to feed me. “It seems you still haven't learned, have you? Not to worry, we have time.”

Time indeed. He left me again after that, returning me to my pained state of panic. However, this time, it wasn't just the punishment I had grown accustomed to. It changed and twisted on occasion. Aside from feeling like I was being stabbed to death, my joints simultaneously felt dislocated. At first, I was determined to keep my mission in the forefront of my mind, but that only grew harder as the days wore on. I remembered a brief moment, fleeting in my growing agony. Zyglavis returned after so long. I couldn't remember his question, but I remember begging for him to stop. I screamed louder, wanting him to hear me. The tears flooded my eyes as he walked away yet again.

How long ago was that? Why was he doing this again? I didn't think I deserved to be treated so cruelly–or maybe I did; I couldn't remember. Perhaps I did deserve their wrath.

The pain had stopped some time ago, giving me time to sleep and recover. No one had spoken to me since the pain stopped. They left me alone in the living room, where I accustomed myself to moving my tortured joints. But the main thing I did was sleep.

I was still sleeping when someone called out to me, “(Name).” My muscles were sore and aching thanks to my awkward position on the floor. I shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, but I paused at finding someone's legs under my head. I curiously peeked up, but I quickly averted my gaze at meeting Huedhaut’s eyes. “I brought you something to eat.”

Quietly, I accepted it as he helped me sit up from my uncomfortable position. The bowl was nothing bigger than my hand, and he watched me devour the gritty-looking oatmeal. The bowl and spoon were shaking in turn with my body, but he didn't ask if I was cold or not. He wasn't worried about my comfort. I was eating of my own free will, which was a good sign in Huedhaut’s opinion. But after putting the bowl down, I still refused to meet his eyes, which made him uncertain of what was going through my head. Before he could ask anything, my broken voice met his ears, “Thank you… I probably didn't deserve any food.”

He tilted his head. He hardly ever saw me acting so demure. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I-” My voice got caught up in my throat when I tried to speak, and I wrapped my arms around myself. “I can't remember. It was horrible. I had to have done something terrible. They wouldn't…” I trailed off, unsure if it was safe to ask my question. What if I got an answer I didn't like? It wasn't like I could do anything about it. “They wouldn't hurt me like that without a reason… Right? I don't want to do that again.”

“Never without reason,” he acknowledged. Huedhaut was pleased that I had at least learned something, even if they forced me to forget the very reason for this punishment. “You should be thankful to Zyglavis for doing this for you. Without his guidance, I imagine you would remain trouble to us, and your pain would last much longer than you can probably bear to think.”

I nodded my head despite the tears in my eyes. I prayed this would never have to be repeated. “I- I don't remember. He was trying to teach me, but I don't remember what happened. What if it happens again? I don't want to do this again.” Finally, my saddened eyes looked up, and the sight of my distress tugged Huedhaut’s heart.

“We'll make sure this never happens again, won't we?” Taking advantage of the situation was his best option. “You'll behave for us, and you won't need any of those painful punishments. You trust us, after all, don't you?” I nodded my head in time with his words. I would never have to go through anything like this again.

“Look who’s finally awake.” Leon’s voice drawled as he took a seat on his chair, vaguely gesturing for me to go over.

At first, I hesitated, earning some harsh glares in return. But when realizing the collar around my neck was gone, I didn't waste any time shuffling over to his side as silently demanded. Only I took two steps before my legs gave out beneath me, and I found myself back in Huedhaut’s arms. “How weak. It looks like you'll have to rely on us for now.”

Leon didn't invite me to sit on his lap, but he did want me close to him as he passed his fingers through my messy hair. Something flared an urgent feeling of fear in me at this familiar position I found myself in: sitting in front of him, his fingers in my hair… My head begged me to recall how he threatened to defile my mouth, but I only remembered snippets of it. My hands were still shaking as I nervously asked, “Did I make you angry?”

He lifted an eyebrow, but he didn't answer me. The clear answer was yes; I wouldn't be scared for no reason. There was always a reason behind everything these gods did; that was what I took from my punishment. “You think you made me angry? I've never been more infuriated.” A whine escaped my lips as he took my chin in his hand, bringing my face closer to him so he could peer into my eyes. “Tell me. How does it feel to have the mark of Leo? Can you feel its power in you? Do you feel the unbreakable bond you've forced between us?”

“What?” Did he do something to me that I wasn't aware of?

“You don't remember?” He asked, knowing very well I had no idea what he was referencing.

“Leo,” Huedhaut said in warning. Reminding me of what happened was the complete opposite of what Zyglavis wanted. It was better for me to forget and start again.

“What? You think she shouldn't know?” Leon hissed, his fingers digging into my jaw. “This ungrateful little thing ran away. She's only here because of my stars.” I'd only heard a handful of times how Huedhaut giving the stars from his eye was the reason I existed. There shouldn't have been any reason for them to provide me with their stars. But Leon was grinning at the despair that wavered in my gaze, glimmering as brightly as the stars he could see. His fingers gently wiped the tears forming in the corner of my eyes. “I now understand how pleasing it is to have a physical mark on you. This eye shines more prominently to me now. But you look frightened. Tell me, are you displeased to have my stars?”

“N- No,” I quickly responded as he pulled away. “I just- I died because I ran away?” My lost eyes were glued onto Leon, searching for answers he was willing to give me, unlike the other gods.

He only nodded with the sickening smirk that crossed his face. “You got yourself killed because you foolishly disobeyed us. You were mercilessly punished because it's our duty to protect you as your gods. Do you understand yet? Everything that's happened is a product of your stupidity.”

“I'm sorry,” the apologies continued to slip from my mouth as the tears trailed down my cheeks. It was my fault he had to give up his stars. I was foolish; I was stupid. The prospect of death scared me when I forgot how peaceful those few moments were. “I won’t-” My voice cracked as I held onto Leon like a lifeline. “I promise I won’t do it again.”

His hand settled comfortably on my head. He knew I wouldn't do it again.

Things went back to normal for the most part after they finished assessing me. Making sure I was submissive to them was a frustrating process for me but a necessary one for them. I learned to talk less and listen more when in their company. It was better for them if I just stopped trying so hard. I would never leave, and I resigned myself to everything they told me.

***

“(Name)? We finally found you!” I sat up in bed at the sudden yelling in my room, but I was alarmed that someone was ushering me out of it. I knew Ichthys was an overly-excited god, but none of them were allowed in my room, and I panicked at the sudden intrusion.

I frantically pulled away from him, making him release me in surprise. “What are you doing? Get out! You’re not supposed to be in here!”

My impulsive shouting made me shrink back in fear, and I instantly scampered to get out of his proximity. “(Name)...”

“I- I’m sorry,” I weakly stuttered, ready for him to lash out at any moment. “I didn’t mean to yell. You scared me. None of you are supposed to come in here.”

“You don’t have to be scared,” he spoke softly as he hesitantly reached out his hand to me. “We’re here to take you home.”

I tensed up at his false promise. “Please, don’t,” I begged, “I said I was sorry. Please, don’t talk about home. The other gods get so mad…”

“Ichthys, what’s taking so long?” Krioff stuck his head in the door, and I instantly averted my gaze, afraid to see if he had overheard anything we were saying. “We don’t have that much time here. Come on.”

“She’s scared; give me a minute.”

“I don’t think we have a minute.”

Krioff left the door again, and Ichthys was left alone, gazing at me with… pity? That wasn’t right. Usually, he’d laugh and make fun of me for getting so scared over a little prank. “This is important, and I don’t have time to explain everything. I need you to come with me.”

It was bad enough that I raised my voice at him; I couldn’t very well deny him too. “Can I get ready first? It’s the middle of the night.”

“No time,” was his quick response as he snapped his fingers, dressing me himself. He then stole my hand as he pulled me out of the room, but he had to pause at who was in front of us. “Scorpio…?”

Scorpio sneered. “The hell are you doing in the goldfish’s room? And you,” He turned his sharp attention to me, making me shrink back in fear. “What the hell are you doing out of bed?”

“I’m sorry,” came the instant apology. “I didn’t mean to. I’ll go back. Ichthys dragged me out.”

But no matter how I tried to pull my hand out of Ichthys', his hold was firm as he had a staring contest with Scorpio. I wasn’t unfamiliar with the gods fighting over me, but usually, the younger gods relented when it came to the older gods.

“Hold on!” A familiar voice called from down the hall. My eyes widened. It was another Ichthys. “That’s an imposter trying to steal (Name)!”

My gaze focused on the hand of the Ichthys holding me. My struggle was useless, just as it would have been on the real Ichthys. So, regardless of who this was, he was still a god. My helpless eyes met Scorpio’s pissed ones. “Scorpio…” This wasn’t my fault. They were supposed to be the ones protecting me from other gods.

“I told you we were out of time,” Krioff shouted at us, his flames suddenly engulfing the air around us. Ichthys pulled me into his arms with my startled scream. Now, Scorpio and my Ichthys were cut off behind a wall of impassible flames. “Back to the door,” Krioff ordered without a moment wasted. Ichthys lifted me over his shoulder, making me grip his shirt for stability as they stole me away from my gods.

But my eyes landed on someone who always seemed to show up at the last minute. “Leo!” He was approaching languidly from down the hall, his eyes glowing angrily. The god holding me turned around to view this new enemy coming to stop them. The air was tense and crackling with power. They weren’t that far from the door they needed to get to. But they knew Leon would cut them off the second they got close to escaping with me.

“What a joke,” a mocking voice said from behind us. Ichthys had set me down in case the need arose for a fight, but another Leon had emerged from the door that they were planning on taking me through. “I’ll handle this half-assed version of me. They couldn’t even give him the power to match.”

This Leon was friends with this Ichthys and Krioff, meaning that he had to have been fake as well. But I was growing anxious that these imposters would win. Impulsively, I screamed with tears running down my face, “You lied! You lied to me!” My shouting was stirring up repressed memories in my head. I had accused them of similar things before. “You told me you would protect me!” Ichthys had to wrap his arms around my waist to keep me from running to Leon who was walking toward them threateningly. “You lied! I won’t forgive you! You lied!” The mark of Leo pulsated in my eye, and for a moment, the Leon impostor turned his head to glance at me in surprise.

“Don’t worry,” my Leon attracted all the attention back to him as he addressed me. “It doesn’t matter what happens. You’ll always be tethered to me–to us, the zodiac. These impostors are irrelevant.”

“We’ll see who the irrelevant imposter is when I’m finished here,” The other Leon ground out, snapping his fingers.

A fight quickly broke out between the two Leons as soon as a blinding light took over the hall. Ichthys tugged my waist, pulling me in the opposite direction despite my struggling. “(Name), why are you fighting to stay here? We’re trying to help you.”

“I don’t want your help,” I snapped, trying to pry his hands off me. I don’t want anything from you! The after-thought of me fighting the gods made me pause. This happened before too. The gods constantly lied and manipulated me into believing everything they said, but the one truth above all others was that I’d never be free; I’d resigned myself to that much.

“(Name),” another god addressed me. Ichthys paused again, and our eyes shifted to Zyglavis; his eyes were sharp on me as if Ichthys didn’t even pose the biggest threat. “Do anything foolish, and you know where you’ll end up.”

Did he see that this wasn’t my fault? “He- He won’t let go,” I tried to reason with the angry punishments god.

Krioff walked back through the door that he had disappeared through moments ago. “They can’t follow us through. Let’s go.”

Zyglavis came for me almost immediately at their words. His hand just missed my wrist as Ichthys pulled me back, and Krioff stood defensively in front of us. Glaring at the two gods in front of him, Zyglavis snapped his fingers, though they were surprised when nothing immediately happened to them. Going for me again, Ichthys quickly shoved me back. Being stronger than me, I flew through the door with no ground to purchase myself.

The minute I finally hit the ground, I cried out in pain. “(Name)!”

I didn’t do anything to deserve this. He was punishing me again for something that was out of my control. Or was it my fault that this happened too? I cringed, edging away from their painful touches. But eventually, they lifted me off the ground and brought me to the sofa.

“Ichthys, what’s going on in there?!” Dui shouted as Ichthys finally made it back through the door. “(Name)’s in so much pain right now.”

“What?” He questioned, rushing over once he heard my cries. “She was fine when I shoved her through the door. It must’ve been that other Zyglavis. He did a nasty trick. Good thing Leo showed up, or me and Krioff would have never made it out of there with her.”

I couldn’t understand what they were saying until there was a loud commotion and the door slammed shut. I was panting for air, but the pain faded away almost instantly when the door shut. Leon was shoving past the other gods; his attention focused on me, which terrified me if I was honest. “Move. I need to see the goldfish.” I tried to shut my eyes and pretend like I wasn’t in danger–like these men hadn’t just stolen me from the very gods who claimed me. But Leon’s hand was softer than the one I’d been living with. His gentle fingers almost coaxed me into feeling like I was safe with him. “Let me see your eyes. You’re going to be safe here.”

“You’re not my Leo,” I whispered, too afraid to know the truth.

“Look into my eyes.” His order was soft–so soft it almost didn’t feel like he was commanding me to do anything at all. But my fear won over, and I was left staring up into kind eyes. His eyes were never that soft. But the Leo constellation burned deep within his eyes, and I could see them with my own human eyes. In turn, he was staring intensely into my eyes. “You do bear the mark of Leo… I can see it right alongside your stars.”

“Are you going to take my stars and kill me?” But he had Leon’s stars–that couldn’t just be faked, could it?

“No one’s going to hurt you here. We’re going to take you home.” His hand gently passed over my head, and I grew increasingly tired. Was he doing this? I couldn’t keep my eyes open. “Just rest. We’ll make sure you’re okay.”

I heard Karno sigh from above me. “They put her through a lot.”

Huedhaut nodded in agreement. “I see now why the King called it an alternate universe. They were exact replicas of us.” After a moment, he added, “She’ll need to be treated carefully. I’ll see if she wants to talk when she wakes up.”

Much like when my gods spoke, I didn’t understand what they were talking about, though their voices were floating in and out of focus before it all fell away to the darkness I was familiar with.

[yeo-rims]

what do you feel about those who are saying that the 2521 ending felt rushed, and that had byj not switched to the local news department, they would've ended up together? also what about heedo not looking happy at age 41?

Anon, I think this drama would benefit a lot from an audience that has no idea what reply1988 even is. The expectations we created because of the precedent we had... can damage a lot of our viewing experience.

Let me give you an example, during one of the most fun and chaotic time here on tumblr for me, the DAYS era, people were coming up with the most absurd theories. because you see, fantasy dramas are a bit absurd, so it could make sense. I never thought DAYS would have a sad ending, tho, because narratively speaking, the show was very tropey, and it wasn't trying to subvert our expectations or even play with them. they had a story to tell, and they told it.

in a way, the reply series are like that. they tell a story about youth, family, nostalgia, and they tell you a very specific story, @rain-hat was very brilliant when she wrote this. but the show is constantly playing with us, trying to make us guess, making every color, every moment every song to be a clue. whose brother is siwon's husband? that one was easy, but now let's have 4 boys whose names we don't know, we only call them by their nicknames. some people will root for trash oppa (obviously), some will fall in love with chilbong (who wouldn't) and it will be hard, but still, a little bit obvious who the husband is. other people (me!!!) will think haetae was actually the smartest choice and forever be bitter about the show. but then r88 went a step further, not only both boys were that good, every scene was ambiguous enough that people created wild theories. everything mattered then.

but then, KDE (i was write kdw) writer-nim said fck this, fck that. i'm going to be as clear as possible and I will not play games with my audience, but by doing that she still subverted our expectations. because we were waiting for a big reveal, a plot twist, a childhood connection, maybe. we were waiting for her to do what LWJ did 3 times. but when she set her story amidst the chaotic year of 1988 paralleling the harsh reality of our covid times, she showed us this was not about nostalgia. not entirely.

the first thing minchae thinks when she reads her mom's diary is that she is talking about her ex-boyfriend. throughout the whole show, hee-do dated 3 people that we know of. sweat pea, byj, and her husband. we know the ex can't be her current husband, we know her name is Kim Min Chae, so, honestly, we're not being deceived. we're just so used to being deceived by cheap narrative choices that we convinced ourselves that there was something we didn't know.

there are multiple instances during the show that it is made clear that heedo isn't with baek yijin, but we chose to believe they found a way, how could they not if they love each other so damn much?

when byj congratulated her on her wedding, we thought it was a joke. I thought it could be a joke because i'm used to that plot device. Did i honestly think the story would make sense if they were still together in the future? No. Did I want them? Yes, I'm a romantic. I believe in the power of love when i'm watching tv, that's me, and that's fine.

But I don't think the ending was rushed, they had 50 minutes of baekdo breaking up. 50 minutes of understanding where they were coming from, their motivations, and the pain. it was painful because they had so much love for each other, but that love brought so much pain, they deserved better than that. it wasn't a toxic relationship, but loving relationships also end if the parties can't find a way to compromise. would you ask yijin, a guy who couldn't get a job before, to not apply to NY when he felt like he was going to do something good, to make some difference? Would you make him quit his job, or change again for another team? Someone on thin ice? much like heedo's mom, everyone around yijin would be waiting for him to make a mistake big enough to fire him, that's the society we live in.

so ok, let's not ask that, let's ask heedo to understand him. yijin did that, too. and heedo said it wasn't about understanding, she did understand him. but she can't live her life with someone that is like her mother, that can't be there, that won't be there. and she can't ask for him to be there, either. because she supports him, she can't get too close, and she can't ask for him to quit. she won't stop fencing or jeopardize her career for him either. so LDR when both parties are hurt, tired, and can't offer the support they once could? how would that work in the long run except by making them hate each other?

so they break up, in 3 different scenes, and then they reunite. and instead of feeling anything awful towards that person, they still feel the same admiration, because they loved that person one day, in all possible ways, and even if they're apart, their support is the only thing they can offer. and they can support each other again, now that they're not dating.

I don't think the ending was rushed, I think they gave us enough evidence to see why it had to end, why it hurt so much when it happened, but also showed us that life doesn't end there. Life continues.

Heedo looks so damn fine at 41, maybe the actress went for a different approach than kim tae ri would choose for heedo, but she never looked sad. you know, she encapsulated the whole meaning of the word "saudade", the original one, at least.

so yeah, I could say that when she's reading the journal it is a bit bittersweet, and she feels that way too. she doesn't regret ending things, but how she ended it. that's why that moment is important because it's a moment she forgives herself and also lets that past baek yijin finally rest.

the show was crystal clear with its intentions, KDE never tried to tell us this was anything but a first love story, inspired by a song that has the same theme, paralleling two eras in which the times were crushing people's dreams, and yet they found hope. maybe that's what KDE wanted to do, to tell us that there is hope, after all.

it's even harder for us to understand that a narrative was honest in a time when plot twists, weird shenanigans, and all that jazz are so very common. thinking maybe they could work it out was wishful thinking, I know that, and I'm fine with that, too. I liked the theories, I laughed at some, and I almost believed others. but the drama never fooled me completely, because even when I was trying to get 100% on the "happy ending" train, I saw how it would be cheap for the story to go that route. and 2521 was a lot of things, but it didnt resort to cheap narrative decisions. the show gave us the best friendship/rivalry we could ask for, they let characters be complex, be wrong, be angry, and be a fool. they let the women shine. they didn't go for easy cries. all the times this show made me emotional were so well structured. heedo winning a gold medal in ep7 and all that went down only for an old man to tell her she should be happy. the madrid match. that scene yurim's father is singing, seungwan mom saying 'hey, you cant be like that, but i support you' and seung wan telling her mom 'i know i cant be this way, but at this moment this is the only way i know how to be'. see, the show respected its characters so much, to go against that only to make us satisfied with the ending we projected, not the one the writer wanted to tell? i think it's amazing KDE had the guts to tell the story she wanted. even if i cried like a baby. (i'm a pisces)

as for yijin not changing, that would be unethical, he interviewed heedo multiple times and would be continuing to do so. he made a choice, for her, to change to local news. all choices have consequences, but the truth is, at that time heedo was not mature enough to date someone who resembled her mom in any way. and at that time, yijin had to prioritize his own well-being instead of wanting to protect another person's youth.

as for what do I feel about the people saying that? Honestly, I don't care. Not in a mean-spirited way, but my viewing experience has little to do about how others feel, and much to do about how I felt and what made me care so much about that show in particular. People are entitled to their opinions on tv shows, even if I don't agree with them. I'm a known the k2 stan, you see. I can't judge people for anything.