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#no actually i am crying
tamagotchikgs · 6 months
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just got the news that since my brother is moving away we’ll have to move back home & get a trailer to live in and i cant handle that dude i cant move back there with everything all the memories and all the bad stuff everything tthat is that place i cant do it i cant even breathe thinking about it ive never knwon fear like this and i am in a constant state of varying terror
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inkskinned · 1 year
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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loveexpelrevolt · 6 months
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It does not take a priest to see you and Rogue's souls touch in every gaze.
GAMBIT & ROGUE | X-Men ‘97 1.05 “Remember It"
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gremnda · 7 months
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Hello Ethubs nation :]
no text version
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irisbaggins · 4 months
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This is the face of a man forced into Doing A Bit so his cast can earnestly focus on the themes of the season.
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kitamars · 18 days
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doodles as i relive my spideyman phase from eighth grade
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hinamie · 4 days
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
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alexbutrandomthoughts · 9 months
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So you're telling me, you're not obsessed with two gay ass motherfuckers, that permanently altered your brain and you do not think about them every living moment of your life, and you don't cry about them on daily basis? Ah. That's.......cool.
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heartorbit · 2 months
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the narcissist fools himself
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nkogneatho · 5 months
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may god take all my suffering and give it to gege akutami
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blindbisexualgoose · 5 months
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You guys don’t understand…. Amerie never got the letter
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deadpoets · 15 days
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
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asexualenjolras · 4 months
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I need to talk about Charles Rowland and his love for Edwin Payne.
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Charles saying he can't say he's in love with Edwin back doesn't mean he isn't in love with Edwin, and it doesn't mean he doesn't love Edwin in the same way that Edwin loves him.
He is just saying he needs to work out what he does feel.
Charles died when he was 16. He's still a child. Nobody at 16 knows what it means to be in love.
And, on top of that, he grew up in an abusive household with a warped understanding of what love means. His dad was abusive to his mum, so he wouldn't understand what being "in love" is compared to someone that grew up within a stable household. He's never had the time to unpack what that means about his ability to love. He's worried that he might end up like his dad, and he absolutely would never want to hurt Edwin like his dad hurts his mum.
Charles has a lot of confusion about love. He loves his mum, he knows that, and he loves his dad, despite everything he put him and his mum through.
And, on top of all of this, he grew up during a difficult period in history. He was a teenager in Britain in the 80's. The 80's were a notoriously homophobic period of time, and I'm not saying that Charles is dealing with internalised homophobia but growing up during a period of time where the homophobic rhetoric was rife would have an impact on anyone. Especially a confused 16 year old boy who didn't know much kindness in life.
Charles knows he loves Edwin more than anything and anyone else in his life, and he knows the love he feels for him is different to the love he feels for his mum. He just doesn't know whether what he feels for Edwin constitutes as being "in love" with him.
And he needs time to figure that out. That's what he is telling Edwin: he's telling him that he is the most important person in the world to him and that he does love him but he needs to work out what that means. And Edwin completely understands that because Charles put it so eloquently and in a way that Edwin could understand. This isn't the usual unreciprocated love trope. They are each other's person, and they're trying to navigate what that means for each of them.
Overall, Charles loves Edwin and Edwin loves Charles. And they're going to figure out what that means together in time. Because that's what they always do: they figure things out.
Together.
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colourofmagic · 5 months
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captain sunshine and the best backliner in ncaa exy ☀️
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goonmypenis · 7 months
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i drew this like a month ago and i am TERRIFIED to post anything on here but ive been convinced
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messy444chic · 1 month
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