#no i did not get the job

[noster-tempus]

At my most recent job interview, for a position at a grocery store:

Interviewer: Tell us why you're the best candidate for this position!

Me: Um, let's see, well, uh, I'm a hard worker, I have a good memory and strong attention to detail, and, um... I'm a great communicator, and, um, yeah!

Me, on the car ride home: I don't think I was very convincing.

[panthermouthh]

“Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust?”

[razzafrazzle]

literally my favorite aspect of sock opera is bill calmly but repeatedly failing to buckle his seatbelt. like its funny enough that Bill Cipher of all people is putting on a seatbelt but its so funny that he keeps fucking it up. but he's still just smiling like a dumbass the entire time

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael knows how to deal with FNAF Lolbit

[autoneurotic]

i’m going to throw the fuck yp WHOOOOOO made this WHY is it in my break room im losing my mind

[loonylooly]

After like, waaay too long, i finally finished prythian fashion the second 🤭

Hope ya'll like them

[united-under-skyfall]

leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.

[mara-xx]

Can he at least try to be normal for five fucking seconds.

[suntails]

toot toot!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[afreakingmilkshake]

good day to draw meta knight gijinka

[meeyahmaya]

so evil of illumination to rob us from a luigi revolution subplot

ft bonus interaction:

[cuntela]

blow my heart up

[itsyouch]

"double O donut is on the case!"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

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[setaflow]

People in the comments of the Assassin's Creed: Shadows trailer becoming armchair historians trying to explain why Yasuke shouldn't be a protagonist actually are hilarious. Like besties this is a franchise where people can control eagles with their minds and a good 5% of the population are descended from evil psychic aliens. I THINK we can expand on a story of Japan's only-recorded African koshō without it jumping the shark.