#that does not compute in my head

[united-under-skyfall]

leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.

[mattodore]

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

[rizzstappen]

College Au, I agree that you def should write it 👀👀

Ahh okay I’ve been tinkering with this for a bit! Thank you for this ask Danni!!

This is my first time writing for Maxiel and first time writing rpf in years so please be easy on me 😭 but of course feedback and any questions are welcome!! Inspired by this picture and the tags!!

Sorry for any mistakes! But I don’t think I can look or edit this anymore without going insane 🤪 enjoy!!!

Maxiel College AU where it’s a special day during junior year!

—

“C’mon one more DR!” Blake shouted from across the tennis court. The Austin sun beating down on them making the already humid day feel worse than it actually was.

“Yeah, nah mate,” Daniel called back as the three men walked toward the net where they had set their backpacks down to get in a quick tennis match. “Max is waiting for me. I promised I’d be back on time. He says it’s a special day.”

Daniel had been thinking all day about it.

Before leaving for class Max had whispered to Daniel something about a special day. In his sleepy haze all the Aussie could do was hum and try to pull his boyfriend back into the warm duvet covers away from the busy campus outside their window.

Every morning was a routine once the semester began. Max woke at 7 am for his 8 am lecture. Showered. Got dressed. Kissed Daniel before he headed out the door. Daniel, of course, didn’t have class until 1:30. He liked sleeping in and staying up late. Plus he worked at the local bar which meant late night shifts. Max didn’t mind it. They always made sure to leave the afternoons free around dinner time so they could catch up on the day before Max went to play FIFA or do homework and Daniel went to work.

“He said that? You don’t know what the special day is?” Scotty asked with a slight scoff knowing if he forgot a date Chloe would have his head.

Daniel rolled his eyes sliding his backpack onto his shoulders and hiding his sweaty curls under a black and green hat “no he didn’t say what it was. If I ask he might kill me so I’m off to get some flowers on my way home” he nodded hopping the day would reveal itself when he walked in the door.

After saying bye to Blake and Scotty, Daniel headed out to the local flower shop. It was small with a French exchange student behind the counter who flirted way too much with Max in his opinion. The green eyed student recommended a bouquet of roses. Cliche.

Instead Daniel opted for an assortment of red, yellow and white tulips. Like the ones Max spoke about from his home country. Daniel liked to get flowers often wanting to give Max a little piece of home since he couldn’t travel back to Holland often.

The jingle of his key alerted the cats of Daniel’s return to the small apartment. Once inside the cats curled around his ankles and purred against his leg welcoming him back. Daniel leaned down scratching both Jimmy and Sassy behind their ears with whispered ‘hey guys, where’s dad?’ He toed off his shoes by the door before walking towards the living room. Max wasn’t in his usual spot on the worn leather couch Daniel had practically begged Max to bring back after they found it on the side of the road last year.

“Hello?” He called out the crinkle of the cellophane echoing around the tulips in Daniel’s hand.

“Shit” Max’s quiet voice echoed coming from the kitchen. Daniel made his way over seeing Max fussing over…something? His broad shoulders hunched down pulling at the fabric of his black polo that were tucked into his jeans being held up by a black belt.

Max turned holding a tray in his hands with what should’ve been a cake. The white frosting and vanilla bread had clearly turned into a crumbly mess.

“It’s supposed to be a cake, of course, but I think I took the bread out too soon and it was too hot. Of course I just wanted it to be decorated before you got back-“ Max rambled. A grin spread on Daniels lips “a cake for this special day?” He asked trying to real more information out of his boyfriend about this mystery day.

Max raised an eyebrow and nodded “of course why wouldn’t there be a cake?” He says.

Cake. Birthday? No. Anniversary? No. Daniel still couldn’t wrack his brain about what this special day might be.

Max smirked at his boyfriend as he sets the tray down on the linoleum lined kitchen counter “you have no idea what today is huh?”

Shit. He was caught. Max could read him like a book but Daniel wouldn’t admit it of course. “What?! Of course I know what today is. I got you flowers. Tulips” he grinned handing over the bouquet.

Max inspects the flowers. Not as good as the ones from his hometown but he knew it was the thought that counted. Max looked his boyfriend in the eyes a grin on his lips as he speaks “then what is today?”

Daniel looks back for a moment. What other possible date would be important enough for a cake?

A laugh bubbles up from Max “you don’t even know!” he smirked happily moving to get a vase filled with water for his flowers. “Daniel it’s the day we met in class” he spoke over the water running into the green vase “three years ago, of course” he nodded shutting the water off and sliding the flowers into the water before setting them down “it’s called a meet cute. I think” he said before he gestured to the cake sat on the counter “that’s what Victoria called it. She said it would be cute to celebrate it.”

The words ‘happy 3 year meet cute’ scrawled out in red icing against the white frosting in Max’s handwriting

Daniel was stunned.

3 years. He couldn’t believe 3 years had flown by. He remembered walking into his Horticulture 120 lecture and the only spot left was next to Max at the front row. He was sure he’d drop the class. It was an elective after all. But then he turned and saw Max’s eyes. Blue. Like the Maldives. In that moment Daniel knew he had to stay. So he did and clumsily introduced himself. His braces giving him a slight lisp. But it was the best thing he had done. Now he had an apartment and two cats with that same boy. And they were celebrating meeting 3 year later.

Daniel gives his boyfriend a soft look before his own laughter filled the space between them “oh Maxy” he said “that’s adorable really. Thank you” he says admiring the icing work he had attempted winning his finger into the white frosting and licking it off his finger.

“Happy three year meet cute anniversary” he said leaning in kissing Max’s blushing cheeks.

Max smiled turning to look at his boyfriend “happy three year meet cute anniversary” he whispered before planting a kiss on Daniel lips.

[spacedace]

Here have some fluffy Jon/Damian/Elle (Super Serious Chaos? Super Serious Chaos) where Jon & Elle bully exhausted pre-vet college student Damian into taking a nap with the cruel application of cuddles on the couch:

Jon’s hand was wide and warm against his back as the Kryptonian absently swiped it along Damian’s spine. Meanwhile Elle was intent on gently dragging her nails along Damian’s scalp, fingers soft through his hair. Between the two of them, the soft couch they’d bullied him into getting when they moved into the apartment and the slant of sunlight they were currently all laying in, Damian didn’t have a chance.

He was supposed to be studying. He had an exam next week for his zoology course and it didn’t matter if he knew the information front to back, he was going to get a perfect grade. But then Jon had splayed out on their plush and over-sized couch with some documentary about scientists attempting to grow seeds discovered preserved in permafrost. And Elle had been pestering him about shrimp posture at his desk - he had perfect posture, thank you he was just making sure to get close enough to his study material, his back hurt because he had patrol last night, nothing else - so he’d allowed her to herd him over to study in the living room instead.

And it was a law of the universe that a Kryptonian wearing soft fleece Robin-themed pajamas basking in the sun was always going to be the most comfortable place for a Bat to perch. So he’d sat down beside his boyfriend - no he had not flopped, he’d simply allowed gravity to do the work for him, it was energy conservation, it was practical - and prepared to study as Elle took her own spot curled up sideways in Jon’s lap with her legs tossed over Damian’s. Sun-sleepy Kryptonian’s were an ideal landing place for ghosts with fire cores as well, obviously.

Somewhere along the line his significant others had conspired against him.

It was the only explanation for how his notes ended up tossed on the coffee table haphazardly while he laid face down across the couch in a nest of pillows with his head in Elle’s lap and Jon’s arm curling over his back, eyes drooping as he lost the battle with sleep. Titus, the traitor, had hopped up to lay against his legs, a heavy warm weight drawing him further and further down. Elle had started humming a song somewhere along the time she’d begun playing with his hair, and Jon was giving those low - near imperceptible - rumbling purrs he gave off when content as he traced patterns along Damian’s back.

This was pay back for staying out until five last night on patrol even though he had a class at seven-thirty. He’d told them he would be fine, he’d done far worse on far less sleep. Timothy routinely juggled a dozen or so projects at a time with just an hour or so of sleep ever few days and Damian was far more competent than him. That argument - for all his grumbled weak protests in the face of Jon and Elle’s unimpressed and worried expressions could be called an argument - had apparently not swayed them though. He was fairly certain Jon had texted the family group chat - Damian’s phone had been confiscated upon stumbling returning home from Gotham U on the grounds that he would end up running off to try and join in on one of the cases one of his siblings mentioned if he was allowed to keep it, again - to ban him from patrols for the rest of the week.

He’d have to get his revenge somehow. He couldn’t just let them run roughshod all over his life like that.

Maybe he could make some sù yā for dinner. Elle had picked up fresh bamboo shoots along with some other stuff on her last portal hop when she’d found herself in Guangzhou. And Jon’s grandparents had passed along some carrots and ginger from the farm that they needed to use.

Last time he’d made the dish Jon had almost cried and Elle had glowed so brightly it had looked like the sun had taken up residence in their dining room. The two had nearly set the apartment on fire fighting over the last piece. Their shrieks of despair when they realized Damian had eaten it while they were tussling had been more satisfying than every victory over every enemy he’d ever faced combined.

Yes. A fine vengeance indeed.

But…later. After he’d lulled them into a false sense of security. Let them think they had the upper hand and strike when they least expected it. It wasn’t that he was falling asleep. No. It was tactical. And had nothing at all to do with the surge of affection and warmth and security that came with having them so close, doting on him. He was tactically allowing himself to appear vulnerable. Nuzzling closer and tightening his hold on them where he’d wrapped his arms around the two was a ruse.

Jon squeezed back, tight enough to press the air out of Damian’s lungs and sooth away some of the latent anxiety over his upcoming test. Elle swiped a lock of hair that’d fallen into his eyes away, palm curling around his cheek and thumb softly stroking along his temple. On the TV scientists droned on about soil composition and growth rates of similar modern plants. Titus gave one of those low grumbling whines that meant he’d fallen asleep where he was curled up against Damian’s legs and was happily dreaming.

Damian allowed his eyes to close. Content to drift to sleep in the arms of the two menaces he loved most in the world.

[defectiveferalfreak]

Zim appreciates all of his sidekicks equally.

[bonetrousledbones]

i am the only one who understands this but. sludge saturday baby

[allthegothihopgirls]

constantly gaslighting myself into believing that my chronic migraines aren't even that bad. until i get one again and it's actively the worst experience of my life.

[peribirb]

🦔 <alone on a friday night god i'm pathetic

[smute]

"2 years ago"

[more info]

"6 january 2022"

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim

[spatterats]

i think about the big shot glass sometimes

[cryptid-condor]

started watching Rise and of COURSE my favorite turtle is the one with the eyebrows, the staff, and the passion for 80′s disco

[throughtrialbyfire]

the Moment i'm done with the things i need to do today i am running to nexus and modding my poor poor skyrim game

[gothamcityneedsme]

Trick or Treat! Do you have anything featuring Arkhamverse Jason? 👻

@thesandsofelsweyr sorry for the lateness!!! I hope you don't mind second-day candy.

I DO have one very rough premise for Arkhamverse so far, but I haven't developed it much yet! Here's a few of my notes for fun!

Premise: Post Arkham Knight Jason goes back in time. He rebrands himself as the Arkham Knight once he realizes his goal is accessible--to break into Arkham and save his own goddamned self.

"Why didn't Batman come?" "He thought you were dead. Joker sent them a video of him shooting you in the chest, then mailed them the bullet in a box. Then blew up a hospital--your missing teeth implanted into a burned up body. You have a grave." Why was he defending them? Justifying their actions? Their failure to see through the Joker's tricks?

"Are you him?" "What?" The Knight asked--two sudden bad feelings warring in his stomach. "Bruce. Are you so afraid I'd hate you that you've come to me with another face?" "No." he said under what felt like the toxic waters of Gotham Bay. "I'm not him. He couldn't find you."

I really like this premise, definitely want to write it out more eventually. (I've basically decided to practice with some more Batfam character stories before I launch myself into this one--it would be quite intense, I think)

[maryse127]

Me: ah, finally christmas break. I can go home to my dad's place and play videogames and relax

My dad: yeah I emptied all the shelves and we are going to move the big piece of furniture so we finally have space for a big tv, we are going to the electronics store on the way home

Me: I am so not relaxed right now

[perilegs]

It's not an immediate change. When the party arrived in Baldur's gate, Nøkk became quieter. Bit by bit. You could hear him sing to himself or tell tales by the campfire less and less. If he didn't need it to cast spells, Nøkk's violin would have started to collect dust. The night before the journey to the Bhaal temple was dead silent.