#no i won't. i wish. better than getting a blood test that's for sure

[daz4i]

everyone send me strength for i have a blood test tomorrow morning and i might die

[sunshinebuckybarnes]

home is a heavy heart

Pairing: Nick Fowler x female!reader

Summary: you thought you could get away and that was your first mistake.

Warnings: petnames (baby), possessive Nick, mentions of blood/violence. 18+ only. Minors DNI.

Authors notes: this has been sitting in my ask for agesssss so I'm so happy something finally struck! Thank you my sweet @flordeamatista for sending this and for looking it over 💘 (word count: 551)

"Come here, now."

The last word comes out as a growl and you know better than to ignore the warning.

You move from the wall you've been cowering against, slowly slinking your way towards him, watching as he brings the glass of golden liquid to his lips.

Your eyes scan his face, taking in the cuts and blood, the bruises beginning to form. The marks that are all your fault and you feel a pit in your stomach.

His eyes are wild, boring into yours as you move to stand in front of him.

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to make yourself as small as possible. You never meant for things to happen this way. You never meant for him to find out. And you definitely never meant for him to find you.

The silence and tension between you continues to grow and it has your nerves on edge.

You can't stand it any longer as you begin to speak, your voice weak and defeated, "Nick, I'm so sor-"

Your words are cut off by a rough hand gripping your jaw.

"I don't want your apologies," he seethes, the anger in his eyes giving way to something deeper. Something he's tried to keep hidden.

Fear.

His hands move to cup your cheeks as he rests his forehead on yours, taking a deep breath, "I thought I was going to lose you," he breathes. There's a broken edge to his voice that has you biting back tears.

All there is in that moment is you and Nick. You almost forget about his bruised and bloodied knuckles and the number of bodies surrounding you. It's then that you realise just how foolish you'd been and just how much power Nick truly had.

"It won't happen again," you whisper, the tears falling down your cheeks as the weight of what could have happened settles in. At the weight of what your future is going to be settles in.

You would be dead if it wasn't for Nick. You were stupid to believe that his business "partner" would listen to you. That he could help you. Turns out he just wanted to use you the same way Nick did. At least with Nick you could convince yourself there was something there, that he cared for you. And after seeing the way he decimated everyone in the room at the mere thought of you slipping away from him, maybe you didn't need to convince yourself after all.

Nick directs your gaze to his, his thumbs gently wiping the tears from your face, "I know it won't baby. But if you ever put yourself in danger again you're going to wish I don't find you."

You nod solemnly at his words, knowing it's best to never test his theory.

When your eyes begin to dart to the bodies around you, Nick brings your attention back to him. His lips connect with yours in a tender kiss that doesn't fit with the scene around you and you can't help but melt into it.

Later you'll scold yourself but for now you let him lead, you let him comfort you.

"Let's go home," he whispers, pulling you tight against him as he leads you back to the life you were stupid enough to think you could escape.

I'm not sure if this will turn into anything, we'll see 🙈 thank you for reading! As always reblogs and comments are super appreciated ❤️✨

[sideblog-hazbin-hotel-fics]

The Announcement of Hell's Spare

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Ship: Lucifer/Alastor Warning: Mpreg prompt, someone wanted Charlie to have a baby sibling via Luce getting knocked up Alastor.

****

"You've been away, Your Majesty," Alastor greeted in an accusatory manner when he finally saw Lucifer enter the hotel. Though no one dared to ask him, Alastor has obsessively kept track of how long it's been since the last time Lucifer's been at the hotel. 

"I haven't been feeling well..." 

"...you're an angel. King of Hell. You can't be ill."

"Not normally, no."

"Were you hurt? Has Heaven been bothering you?" Alastor demanded. Even if he wasn't proud of how his battle went, didn't mean he wasn't invested in the fight still. Now more than ever since his thing with Lucifer has become what it has. Thinking about Lucifer getting into some sort of trouble on his own away from everyone made his blood boil. Lucifer wasn't as permanent of a fixture at the hotel as the rest of them now were. Lucifer had responsibilities and a palace that was deeply rooted in enchanted power that was drool-worthy. For as many Sinners who would fall to Lucifer's feet, there were also those stupid or bold or angry enough to try and harm him at a chance of bettering their situation. 

"No, not like that. If anything, if I'm ill it's your fault!" 

"My fault? However is that it my fault?" 

"Because when I said I'm ill, I meant I'm pregnant!" Lucifer hissed. 

"...what now?" 

Lucifer sighed, far too exhausted to deal with Alastor's shock. He wasn't sure how the demon would react to it, but he was prepared to be a single father. He's had enough practice of it already with Charlie after his and Lilith's split. So he told Alastor the facts, "I felt strange. It's been a good two hundred years since it happened, so it's been a while, but then it became familiar. I did a few tests and...it's positive. I'm expecting." 

"A child?"

"Yes."

"Our child?" 

Lucifer sort of expected a form of this question. Though he expected Alastor to call it just his, or ask if Lucifer was sure it was Alastor's at all. Yet, the deer demon was calling it their child. "Yes." 

"...are there royal protocols in place? Will it be a royal? Or will it just be known as a bastard?" 

"My child will not be a bastard!" 

"...did you just ask me to marry you?" 

"..." Lucifer felt his face heat up at that. Regaining his composure, he cleared his throat and said, "I meant to say...this child will have the same title and perks as Charlie did. They will be a Morningstar. Prince or Princess of Hell." 

"And me?" 

"...I won't force you to do anything you don't want. I'm damned for giving Free Will and will maintain it as a vital part of who I am. You're free to do as you wish." 

"Then expect me to move into the palace."

"What?" 

"Unless you're planning on moving more permanently into the hotel. We can work things around and have our rooms connected. Expand to make room for the child. At first, they won't need much, but they will need their space." 

"You're...not freaking out?" 

"I'm surprised. But you're not a liar, my dear. If this was just another attempt at bantering with me, this is not a topic you'd play with. There's no reason for you to say you are with child unless it's true. I'm also very aware of how and when this might have happened."

"Right. So. I'm pregnant. It's yours. And we're keeping it."

"And raising it. Together." 

"Right."

"...do you want me to be the one to tell darling Charlie she's going to be an older sister?"

"Please."

****

"Holy fuck, don't do that!" Lucifer cried out when he woke up and found Alastor hovering over him. 

"You didn't notice me come in. Nor feel I've been here for the last fifteen minutes."

"You were watching me sleep like some voyeuristic creep?" Lucifer deadpanned as he sat up properly and stretched a bit. 

Alastor took the chance to sit next to him. He was gripping his staff firmly if only to help resist the urge to reach out and either wrap his arm around Lucifer or maybe even place his hand over the belly. Their relationship was a lot more about heated moments and fun arguments escalating to situations neither of them really expected. 

"You're the king of Hell and are now with child. You should have more protection."

"I'm in my daughter's hotel. The only people in here are the people she trusts. And you," Lucifer stifled a yawn but also gave him a soft teasing smile. 

Alastor frowned," I'm serious. I could have killed you." 

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, dearheart." 

"Lucifer." 

It was part of their game to call each other names. Insults that have become almost terms of endearment. Actual names...showed seriousness. 

Lucifer sighed and turned to face Alastor properly, "A royal baby that's part angel, part...begrudgingly powerful overlord...takes a lot of energy. I get tired more easily. It's why I'm here. And not at the palace. When we rebuilt the hotel, I added extra layers of protection. It's not as safe as my palace, but it's safe enough for Charlie. And it's safe enough for this little one too."

"That still leaves you being...not to your usual strength," Alastor said quietly. There was a long pause before he dared to finally reach out and hold Lucifer's hand in his. "How dangerous is this for you?" 

"I...don't know. Hellborns aren't exactly rare. But this isn't the typical case. But let's not forget who I am, okay? I'll be fine." 

"Of course you will. Because let's not forget who I am. I'm going to take care of you. And you're going to let me." 

"Hey! I am still king! You can't tell me what to do!" 

"No, but I can tell Charlie you're not taking care of yourself and her puppy eyes will have you yielding in seconds." 

"Cheater."

"Hmm," Alastor only smiled. If that was cheating, it wasn't beneath him if it guaranteed making this easier for Lucifer.

****

"I need your help, if you have a moment."

Charlie literally dropped all the papers she had in her hands and rushed up to her dad, "Of course! What do you need? Is everything okay? Is it the baby?" 

Alastor telling her about the pregnancy had been...a thing. She went through a whole roller coaster of emotions that ranged from disbelief to panic to excitement to...plenty more. Once she processed that her father and Alastor had been more involved than she could ever imagine, she did go into a weird mourning stage in realizing that her old family she dreamed would one day magically heal and be what she dreamed was probably not going to happen, she began to accept the new reality. 

The responsibility she took upon herself in the attempt to help her people helped her have more insight. The people in her hotel were more than just a project. They were her friends, if not already family in her eyes and heart. 

And now she was going to be a big sister! 

It was still a secret, though Vaggie learned about it because she just needed someone to talk to! She understood why it wasn't something to talk openly about that went beyond how annoying gossip could be. 

Alastor also warned her about her dad being weakened by providing a lot of his strength to the baby. She saw it more since she was looking for it, but she wasn't the only one. Some were concerned something deadlier was going on that Lucifer was dealing with that they weren't privy to. 

"Whoa, there. Breathe, sweetie. Everything's fine. I'm fine, baby's fine, you're fine! We're all fine."

"We're all fine!" Charlie repeated. 

"Right. Now, look. We can't keep this a secret forever. I'm dreading the initial reactions but I'm preparing for it as best as I can. If anything, I can just go back to the palace until the birth." 

"Alastor's already kind of preparing for that anyway."

"He is?" 

"We've been talking," She informed him. 

"Huh. Okay. We'll talk more about that later. Before we go off on any more tangents, let me get to the point. This is Hell. Wedlock bullshit doesn't matter with us because why would it? Your sibling will be a prince or princess as much as you are. Title, perks, respect. All of it."

Charlie smiled, "Good."

"We are the royal family. When these things happen there are usually announcements and such. I don't know yet if Alastor will want all of Hell to know just yet his involvement, but you're my daughter, my heir, and their older sister. There may be an announcement I'll make once I start showing if I don't plan to keep inside, but once the baby is born, I want you to stand next to me as I present Hell to its second in line. Will you?"

"Of course!" 

"Good. And sweetheart?"

"Yes?"

"You can go ahead and tell anyone else in the hotel if you really want to."

"Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, I have been trying so hard!"

"I know. And I appreciate it. But I can also see how hard it's been for you, so if it comes up...you can." 

Charlie hugged him in response. 

The next time he walked through the lobby, which was about an hour later, he felt everyone's eyes on him. 

He stared at all of them with an unimpressed expression, "Alastor will take the questions, not me." Then he turned around and made it back to his suite. 

****

"You want me to go back to the palace don't you?" Lucifer asked while he rested in Alastor's arms as they lay in his bed. 

"It's safer for you there."

"I hate being away from Charlie..."

"It won't be like last time. She'll visit more. We'll visit too when possible."

"We?" 

"You're not getting rid of me." 

Lucifer chuckled and smiled. Lifting his finger to one of his sharp teeth, he bit down hard enough to draw blood and then offered it to Alastor. The deer demon held Lucifer's hand before gently, and rather sensually, licking the dripping blood that ran down the digit before taking the tip of his finger into his mouth and suckling until the wound healed. Alastor pressed a kiss to the tip of the finger, and then the inner palm, and then kissed Lucifer's knuckles. "I'll miss how delicious you taste, darling..."

"Why would you miss it? Aren't you basically latching on and becoming my shadow?" 

"I'm not taking the literal life essence from you or our child," Alastor deadpanned. 

"Pft. Boo." 

"You want me to bite into you?" 

"...yeah. I like it. You do it well."

 Alastor cupped Lucifer's cheek and they stared into each other's eyes. The heat that's usually there was present, but also something new. Maybe something that has been there for a while but they're now willing to see. Alastor leaned in and kissed Lucifer. Gently at first, but it slowly turned into a make-out session that slowly became more hungry and passionate. 

When they pulled apart, they continued to steal kisses between shared pants of breath. 

"My, my your Majesty, we might be recreating our child's conception all over again." 

"Oh, there's no might about it dearheart."

****

"You asked about royal protocols. We usually present the latest heir together as a family. Charlie said she'd be with me...will you be there too? Or will you remain in the shadows?" He liked to bask in the post-glow bliss, but this was something that had been on his mind for a while. So though he felt fully sated and more than content, he turned his full focus and attention to Alastor. 

Alastor simply pulled Lucifer closer still until Lucifer was on top of him again. His possessiveness over the King of Hell has only grown and it was becoming harder to remain subtle about it. "No nightmare of Hell nor army of Heaven could keep me away, darling." 

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Guess Who's back ✨

Anyways..What would Jeff be like if he found out Reader was pregnant?

AGHHH I LOVE GETTING TO WRITE FOR DOMESTIC SITUATIONS!!

Weddings, babies, moving in together i love it all 💗

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff finding out you're pregnant

Jeff has always been firm on the notion that he does not want kids

He thinks kids are annoying and gross and stinky

And there's also some insecurity of him not being able to be a good dad, considering his job, his upbringing, even his appearance

All around, kids are a firm no for him

So when you begin experiencing morning sickness he kind of just denies the very possibility that you could even get pregnant

But you, being at least a little more reasonable than him, decides its better safe than sorry and goes out to buy a test

When you get back, you inform him that you're gonna take the test just to be sure to which he straight up laughs

"You won't need it, because I can tell you right now you're not pregnant"

And so, after a few minutes of waiting anxiously after taking the test, you look at the results and see....a positive

A hand goes to your stomach, the tears already streaming down your face

Jeff, who decided he would wait with you snatches the test and does several takes

He's honestly just speechless, he didn't even really think he could get anyone pregnant, which may have just been wishful thinking on his part

He looks at you, and you look at him

Your face is one of pure joy, and his is a mix of confusion, fear and disgust

"We aren't keeping it, right?" He asks after looking at your face for a while

You frown and smack his arm "jeff! How could you even suggest that?!"

"We aren't prepared for a kid! We've never even talked about it! Not to mention, what kind of life would that kid have?? Growing up in a house full of murderers and monsters, the kid's guaranteed to be fucked in the head!"

"You aren't even going to give this a chance?" You ask frustratedly "you created this with me, you know! The least you could do is take responsibility!"

He groans and storms out of the room, leaving you to cry alone

When he gets back he is less angry, and clearly just got done "blowing off some steam" made clear by the fresh blood on his hoodie

You aren't crying anymore, he comes into the room and sighs before sitting with you on your bed

You are both very quiet for a while, just sitting together

He finally speaks, but he doesn't look at you. He couldn't bear to

"I love you, you know? I just get....i just feel really scared right now because I don't know what to do. I'm not in control and that scares me"

You look at him and place a hand on his cheek "if you wanna get rid of it, then we can discuss our options?" You offer

He shakes his head "i dont wanna get rid of it....i just...i don't want to mess this up, you know?"

You scoot closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder "you won't mess it up..." you look at your stomach and then grab his hand and place it on your lower belly "if you love this baby as much as you love me, theres no way you could" you say looking up at him with a smile

He looks at your stomach and then at you "im still so, so scared" he whispers to you "i dont know anything"

You kiss his nose and press your forehead to his "it's ok. We'll learn together"

He smiles "ok"

After that first whole fight, he actually gets pretty excited about the baby!

You manage to pay slender to get a room that you can make into a nursery, and announce the news to your close friends

Jeff is always buying things for the baby. Toys, clothes, blankets, etc

He also loves to talk to the baby, telling your little one all about the day that he had and how much he loves them

He's still hates kids, but his kid is amazing

(Also authors note i wanna write more general preganancy hcs for jeff bc hes so silly)

[ronandreams]

tag game! choose some of your favourite lyrics and list them below.

tagged by @henrywinteris and @nataliajames , thank you so much 💗

run - joji

I fell for your magic I tasted your skin And though this is tragic At least I found the end I witnessed your madness You shed light on my sins And if we share in this sadness Then where have you been?

as the world caves in - matt maltese

Oh, girl, it's you that I lie with As the atom bomb locks in Oh, it's you I watch TV with As the world, as the world caves in

francis forever - mitski

On sunny days, I go out walking I end up on a tree-lined street I look up at the gaps of sunlight I miss you more than anything I don't need the world to see That I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me

heaven - beyonce

We laughed at the darkness So scared that we lost it We stood on the ceilings You showed me love was all you needed

clementine - halsey

Wish I could see what it's like to be the blood in my veins Do the insides of all of my fingers still look the same? And can you feel it too, when I am touchin' you? And when my hair stands on ends, it's saluting you The blush in your cheeks says that you bleed like me And the 808 beat sends your heart to your feet Left my shoes in the street so you'd carry me

because of you - kelly clarkson

I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing

family line - conan gray

Scattered 'cross my family line I'm so good at telling lies That came from my mother's side Told a million to survive Scattered 'cross my family line God, I have my father's eyes But my sister's when I cry I can run, but I can't hide From my family line

landslide - fleetwood mac (i also love the chicks version of this)

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie

You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the soles of your shoes are all worn down The time for sleep is now But it's nothing to cry about 'Cause we'll hold each other soon In the blackest of rooms

stranger - olivia rodrigo

Oh, but I hope that you're happy, babe, you know I really do And God knows that I am the girl I am because of you You know I'll always think of you, I'll love you 'til the end of time You are the best thing that I'll ever keep so far out of my life

chlorine - twenty one pilots

I'm so sorry, I forgot you Let me catch you up to speed I've been tested like the ends of A weathered flag that's by the sea

bandito - twenty one pilots

Began with bullet, now add fire to the proof But I'm still not sure if fear's a rival or close relative to truth Either way it helps to hear these words bounce off of you The softest echo could be enough for me to make it through

imgonnagetyouback - taylor swift

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way

how did it end? - taylor swift

Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G

the smallest man who ever lived - taylor swift

In fifty years, will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, "Good riddance" 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins Instead, I just died inside And you deserve prison, but you won't get time

in the mourning - paramore

Oh, in the mourning, I'll rise And in the mourning, I'll let you die In the mourning, all my sorries And it takes all my strength not to dig you up From the ground in which you lay, the biggest part of me You were the greatest thing, and now you're just a memory To let go of

tagging, if u want to: @hellshee, @dykejaskier, @burke-juliet, @joequinns, @heartwasglass, @munsonseds, @saintirulan, @coldasyou, @crowleyaj, @cavarage, @waddinghamhannah, @madalainepetsch, @frolencewelch, @pastandpresentselves. .

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Perfectly Normal Schoolgirl: pt 3

If you're new to this series, check out part 1 here, and part 2 here! Also, if you like my writing, check out what else I've written! Enjoy :))

Dane sulked the whole way home, eyes downcast, feet dragging. His gelato melted in his hands, long after I had finished mine, and I watched him in awkward silence. It did neither of us any good to push him, I had realised. Dane would open up to me when Dane wished to do so.

His hand engulfed mine, a steady pressure against my palm. “Katherine,” he said finally, whence we approached his family home, “Are we in danger?”

My initial instinct was to laugh at his innocence, but the look on his face stopped me. There was a quiet fear beneath his skin, on his crumpled brows and tense body, a fear that belied his youth. I sighed and rested my head against his arm, stroking him like I would a kitten. “It will be alright,” I told him, in tones softer than I was used to. “Whilst I am around, they won't lay a finger on you.”

Dane bit his lip and unlocked the door. “Come in,” he told me absentmindedly, and I followed him into his home. “It's just…” He looked away, hunched ever so slightly into himself.

“You're frightened,” I finished for him, and smoothed a lock of his hair back. 

“No!” He yanked himself away from me. “I'm not scared, alright? Just- You know-” He stuttered and trailed off again. 

Young men and their insecurity, always needing to seem strong and brave. “Denying your emotions isn't gonna help anyone,” I told him flatly. “And if you weren't scared, you're more of a fool than I'd thought.”

Dane looked away. “There’s so many of them and only two of us,” he whispered, slumping onto the couch. “How can we fight them all?”

I settled next to him, smiling slightly. “We all die someday,” I offered. “And the worst they can do to you is kill you.”

He shot me a glare, and whined, “That's not helpful!”

With a shrug, I threw my hand around his shoulder. He was always so warm, like resting on the stones of the riverbank beneath the sun. “But it is, Dane. Don't fear Death. I’ve met him before, and he's a rather decent lad. Just like you,” I told him, squishing his cheeks. “Besides, I've been telling you about the dangers this whole time. Why fret now?”

“I'd never seen someone… Like that, you know? She wasn't human, and she knew you. Besides, she had those vibes! It was like she was a cryptid or something,” he told me, eyes wide with passion.

“That's because she is,” I replied. “Or something close enough to it. You were lucky she didn't notice you, you know? You're doing a damn good job at keeping up appearances, kiddo.” A better job than me, I thought bitterly. So much for being a perfectly normal schoolgirl.

Dane beamed at the praise. “I was practising every day, just like you told me to!” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “Wait- Does that mean I passed the test?”

I considered it. He'd done well, that was for sure. I'd seen precious few youths who picked up subtlety and discretion quite as fast as him. Nonetheless, he was lacking in all other areas. His discipline faltered at every corner. He was atrocious at fighting. There was not a scrap of wisdom hammered into his brain.

Mrs C.'s ominous grin loomed in the back of my mind. With my and Dane's association, it would only be a matter of time before she picked him as her next target. When that time came, I would hardly be in a position to protect him, without shedding what precious little cover I still maintained.

“It will be difficult,” I warned him. “And it will hurt.”

With all the panache of immaturity, he jerked his head up and down. “I know,” he told me. “And I'll do it! Come on, you said I did well, didn't I?”

Damn that guileless faith on his face. I did not deserve it, did not deserve to hold this boy's fate in my hands, did not deserve his trust and affection. And I could not accept his blood on my skin, were he not ready for the attack that would eventually come. 

“Alright,” I said softly. “Get ready. We do this at midnight.”

(Look at me using my brand new taglist for the first time!!)

Taglist: @coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch

@ramitola, @urnumber1star, @fortunatetragedy, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling (Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[armpirate]

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 40

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 11 minutes

Y/n could tell Jungkook was tense, it was perfectly seen on the way his jaw was clenched and his spine completely straight as he sat on the chair of the safe house. It wasn't like he usually had a bad posture, but he tended to sit more comfortably whenever they were at home. His eyes were also lost somewhere in the room, while the reverse of his index and middle fingers were caressing his own chin back and forth.

Seeing Yejun woke all the suspicions he could ever have on him. He was like his second son, protected under the big feathers of Jungho when his father died when trying to escape the cops during an operation in Busan.

Before his father died, Jungkook thought Yejun was the one who'd take his father's position in the family. Mainly because, unlike him, he'd blindly follow every order and would take every advice as if it was some holy word he couldn't omit. That boy was everything his father had ever expected of him. And the fact that he was in Spain, when neither of the Bangtan members claimed his presence there, smelled awfully bad. It also meant that the plan they all were getting ready for needed to be rushed.

Yejun was there to kill him and take his place.

—What are you thinking? —Y/n interrupted his thoughts, hugging him from behind.

—I'm just wondering what we should do today —he sighed.

—There are many things I could do with one spoon, so don't test my patience —she squeezed him tight, making him scoff weakly—. Tell me what's up.

—I'm worried —he admitted.

—Is it because of me?

Jungkook's silence was deafening for her. Going back and forth to that conversation made her feel like a burden. Sometimes she felt like she was one problem added to the long list he had to deal with.

—I told you I'll be okay —she assured him—. And it's not like you won't be here to make sure I am indeed okay —her head patted his—. Let's enjoy today. I want to forget about everything going on around us.

When she was about to stand back normally while she let go of him, Jungkook rushed to hold her wrists tight, making sure her arms wouldn't leave his neck -at least, not yet.

—I want to stay like this a bit more —Jungkook whispered.

He had never been needy, he had never pushed for contact with her, but that day he craved it like he'd go long without touching her. And while he knew it wasn't supposed to end that way, he was scared something would go the wrong way at some point. The other side rushing their moves forward, or even something about their plan missing could have a poor ending for them.

Y/n did move despite his petition to stay like that, surrounding the chair he was sat on to lie on his lap instead. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed when she was finally able to look at his face, and the glimpses of concern going through his eyes with every blink was breaking her heart.

—Don't look at me that way —she asked him, moving her fingers up his neck.

—Like what?

—Like this is the last time you're looking at me —trying to relax him, her fingers started playing with the locks on his nape.

He'd have loved to drop one bad joke, or a lame pick up line that could make her giggle, but his brain wasn't able to think of something else.

Again, his silence and the way his look intensified made a knot tie tight on her throat, making her aware that there was no way she could soften that day. There wasn't a word or action that she could make to ease his mind, and her worries were also breaking through all her barriers when she was aware there was no way to stop her thoughts.

Jungkook saw the way her chin trembled as she pressed her lips tight to hold back from crying. And as soon as she looked away, she saw something shiny falling from her face to her thigh. Holding her chin so she wouldn't hide her tears from him, he slowly moved her face back to him. She didn't need to hide her weakness or her pain, he knew the trouble she had been going through ever since she was told about the plan. She didn't need to build that thick rough facade for him either. She was still stronger than him, even if she broke out in worry in front of him like she was doing.

—I know I told you it was going to take a while until we got to the next step.

Y/n was only thinking how he shouldn't have reminded her, because it only made her chest burn even harder. She was calm thinking they would have more time, and that she could get to the idea of seeing him risking his life the way he was going to. But when he told her the previous night it had to happen earlier than expected, she didn't know how to feel and decided to save those thoughts for when the moment came, because she just wanted to spend time with him.

—And I know I've been so selfish to you already that I have no right to ask you for anything else —his thumb softly caressed the skin under her lower lip—, but have faith in me. I'll make it all work to be right next to you.

She didn't know if it was the soft tone in his voice, the hidden guilt behind his words, or the way his eyes were shining through the pain, but more tears piled in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably when she tried to say a word.

—If you die today, I'll die with you —she sobbed, hiding her face in his neck.

His arms wrapped tight around her body, holding her tight when her words threw some realization onto him. She was genuinely scared, to the point of not even making the effort of joking back like she had done other times, assuring him she'd kill him herself.

—I promise it'll be alright —he assured her—. And when this is over, I'll give you the life you deserve.

—Stop thinking about the life you think I deserve —she shook her head—, just promise me you won't be risking your ass again.

He scoffed at that comment, squeezing her body in his, trying to replace those sobs and snorts with some cracked giggles. It didn't have to be as sad as they were making it. He was certain he'd get back to her either way, he could tell she trusted him enough to know he wouldn't let a single thing get on his way when it came to being with her.

Everything would turn out well for the two of them. They needed to think that way.

✸ ✸ ✸

They both spent the day outside, like it was planned. His hand held tight on hers as they walked, followed by two of his guards from afar. From outside, it seemed like a normal couple on an average day, but they both knew it was far from average. There was nothing relaxing about it, there was nothing to enjoy that day.

His phone buzzed in his pocket with a message that warned him Yejun had been spotted in the area where they were, and it was like he had been waiting to feel the vibration the whole morning -or since the plan started to work. It was the last warning he needed to get the chain of events to start off.

His lips gave her the most tender kiss, almost as if he was really thinking he'd never kiss her again. It was one last taste of what happiness felt like, before he had to give up on it -even if it was only for a few weeks. There were many ways the plan could go wrong, and he just needed one last motivation to step out and put an end to everything that had been hurting the two of them.

—I'll see you in Seoul in three weeks —he caressed her cheek.

—Don't do anything stupid until I get there.

Jungkook raised his eyebrows, hinting at what he was about to do.

—I mean aside from this.

Jungkook kissed her forehead for one last time, before he patted his head. His expression changed as he started making his way to the car, the same one where Yejun was caught moving away from and the same one where one of his bodyguards was trying to keep him next to. There was only one place for traitors, and Jungkook was willing to show him a burning taste of it.

—Is there a problem? —he asked, once he reached the two men.

—I was telling Yejun that you wanted him to go in the same car as you.

Jungkook nodded, poking his hands inside his pockets before his eyes landed on the young boy in front of him. While he tried to show himself calm, his eyes were radiating a panic he wasn't able to control.

He wasn't supposed to know he was there. Jungho assured him no one would know, and no eyes would be on him. He only needed to do one last thing to get Bangtan to be the family he knew before Jungkook took over it, but what he was aiming to do turned upside down when he was told to join the boss in the car.

—It's better if I go in a different car —he stuttered.

—I told you to get in the fucking car —Jungkook stepped ahead, standing just centimeters away from him—. Is there any reason why you can't?

Yejun gulped thickly, taking a quick look at the black Audi next to him. Giving one look to the tall man standing at their left, he gave one last order without having to speak up.

It was the beginning of the end for all the games and twisted acts everyone around him had pulled.

The young boy held onto his jeans tight when Jungkook sat next to him. He was caught, and he was trapped in the same coffin he had prepared for him, and there was no way out.

—For how long?

—What?

Jungkook sighed, twisting his head before he turned to look at Yejun. He understood the question perfectly, and the intention behind it , there was no point in repeating it, yet he did.

—For how long have you known my father was alive? Or, better, for how long have you been in contact with him?

There was a heavy silence, where the only thing that was heard were the drowned voices from the people in the street.

—Since the beginning —he sighed—. He knew you wouldn't be able to keep up with the leadership.

—So he faked his death to put me on a test? —his pierced eyebrow raised with his question.

The attack never made sense for him. Because, even after looking into it, there was no reason for the other families to put that type of attack on Bangtan. The idea of him being so twisted to put him through all of that, at such a young age, only because he wanted to test him like a rat in a lab just reinforced the kind of man Jungkook knew his father was.

—I told you having Y/n around wasn't a good idea.

He scoffed at that comment, not allowing him to react before he grabbed some of his locks by the scalp and smacked his head against the panel of the door.

—I'll tell you what's not a good idea —he sneered, picking him up by the hair, to see the trail of blood falling from his forehead—: thinking I'd allow any of you two to do any harm to her. You seriously thought you could set a bomb in my car and I wouldn't notice? Don't worry though, you'll comply with your mission. I'll die today, but you're dying with me.

—Jungkook, please...

But he didn't listen. Giving two knocks on his window, he ordered the man outside to take the driver's spot.

From afar, Y/n's calmness was suddenly interrupted by a huge explosion and several screams from the people that came from the area. The ground trembled for four seconds, but she lost touch with reality when she saw the smoke rising from behind one of the buildings. She was urged to run to the place, to check whether Jungkook was okay or not, but her movements were stopped by one of the bodyguards that had been looking after them during their morning. She tried to fight against him, but ended up giving up and falling to the ground when she knew it was of no help. Life stopped having any sound, she wasn't even able to hear her own voice when she screamed, still fighting the man that was just trying to make sure she'd be alright.

She expected anything to happen. When Jungkook told her he'd try to play with Yejun's attempt to kill him in his favor, she expected a fight, gunfire... anything.

—Please —she begged in between sobs—. Please, tell me he's alright. Please —her voice cracked with desperation.

She was wondering how he'd be able to escape the trap he settled himself in.

✸ ✸ ✸

3 weeks later

She heard the sound of her heels cracking the wooden floor she walked over, stopping in front of a grayish door that led to the basement.

—Is it here? —she asked, turning her serious expression to the Asian man next to her.

After that long trip she took to Seoul, after all the headaches she went through with the police during his funeral, there was only one thing she needed to fully recharge and gain strength to go on. She was sure she wouldn't be able to make it that way any longer.

—Yeah —Namjoon nodded, patting her back—. Good luck there. He's been here for three weeks, almost. He's probably a bit deranged at this point.

—I'll handle him —she assured him.

Raising his arms up in the air, he left it all in her hands. She just smiled, suddenly feeling nervous when her hand reached the knob. She was struggling to control her emotions just by the idea of seeing him, she knew she'd turn into a complete mess the second she stepped inside the room he was in.

She filled her lungs after a deep breath when the door clicked ahead of her, pushing it further to step inside the small room. The lightning was poor, barely illuminating anything inside of it despite there being plenty of daylight outside -and it made sense for her when she was aware there were no windows there.

—Hey, boss —she called him.

Her voice, along with that playful tone, worked like a siren voice on a pirate, making his head turn to her with a smile slowly forming on his face. 

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones @allamericanuniverse @00frenchfries00 @massivelyfullenthusiast

[krikeymate]

Any AU, Ghostface is back. Tara gets stabbed. They’re just playing with her, though, so nothing life threatening. They tell Tara that they’re going to kill anyone she tells about this encounter. “Don’t believe me? Try me?”. Tara tells someone she’s not super fond of. She makes sure no one overhears them. The person is dead the next day. That gives us Tara, trying to deal with this on her own while hiding a literal stab wound (and maybe more) from Sam. Sam finds out pretty quickly, though. Tara’s terrified when she does because of the threat.

AU? Baby this is just Scream 7. Tara's got herself a ~staaalker~

She's home alone, Sam's working late tonight. She's been home for hours, she had no idea what was coming for her. She had no idea she wasn't alone. They were waiting for the right moment, they wanted her to be fully relaxed, calm and unexpecting. They grab her from behind, one hand in her hair, the other wraps around her to trap her arms. They kick at her legs, spreading them so she can't stabilise herself.

"Hello, Tara. Have you missed me?"

They can hear the way Tara begins to hyperventilate, see her chest begin to pound, but she still manages to get out a "fuck you!" They love that about her, it's why they chose her. So much spirit. A real wildfire. They'll enjoy breaking her.

They release her, throwing her to the floor. She tries to get up, to crawl away towards the door, calling out for help, and Ghostface can't do anything but laugh at the pathetic sight. They kick her back down and straddle her hips. "Shhh shhh shhh, we wouldn't want anyone to interrupt us now, would we?" they coo at her, wrapping a hand around her mouth. Ghostface spots tears dripping over their gloved fingers, and it makes a rush flow through them. It's such a beautiful sight, they only wish they had a camera.

"I'm not going to kill you, Tara. I just wanted to introduce myself. See, I've been watching you for a long time. Longer than you might think, in fact, and I think you're finally ready to meet me. We've got a lot in common, you know."

The bitch bites down on their hand and they slam her head into the floor for it. "You'll clearly need a little training first, but we're going to do great things together."

"What the fuck are you on about?!" she yells, voice cracking.

"You'll see. But first, let's play a little game."

Ghostface draws the knife across her side, blood beginning to pool on the wooden flooring. "It's called Can Tara Keep Her Mouth Shut. I hope you're good at it, because you won't like what happens when you lose."

"Oh yeah, and what happens if I don't?" She attempts to sound confident, but her voice shakes. They'll teach her to lie better.

"Well, I'll kill whoever you tell, of course. I must confess, I hope you don't believe me. I'm so hungry, you see. It's been so long."

Ghostface sits up on their knees and flips the girl over, taking her by surprise once again. Now face to face, they can finally see her tear-stained face, see the fear in her eyes, the spark of defiance. It's delicious. They hold the knife to her throat, digging it in until it leaves a small cut in her skin. They grab at her scarred hand, thumb tracing the scar on her palm.

In a flash they lift the knife from her neck and drag it up her palm, digging into the scar, tearing it away. Ghostface relishes the way she screams, the way she tries to stop them, grabbing at their wrists.

They let her go, standing up. "Are you going to test me, Tara?" They walk backwards to the door, savouring the way she curls into herself on the floor. "You best clean yourself up quick dear, Sam is due home soon, isn't she?"

The girl's head snaps up at the sound of her sister's name. "Don't you fucking touch her," she snaps, getting to her knees despite the pain and her blood-slick hands.

"Well I won't need to, will I. It's not like she's going to find out about any of this, is she?"

She stands silently staring at them, and Ghostface knows she's gotten their message. "Until next time, my dear. I'll be watching."

[tounderstandthesoul]

Chapter 3: The Feeling to Starve

Anything to Survive Nothing More

---

Feelings come... Heavy emotions (depressions) are coming for Angel... Well i don't know if this chapter needs a viewer discretion but it will be a little 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲. ---

Angel Pov:

It's dark... far too dark... to think that children used to play here...cruel.Children... right here in these colourful halls and rooms, in some of them a lamp is still lit.

I have to be quiet, after all I'm in a smaller form than usual, a toddler. If I made my legs bigger it would be better because of the bigger steps...but they would also be louder. Louder footsteps here in the neighbourhood of the founder's office... Apart from this Mother toy, would be dangerous.

Finally the sensor corridor here, the employees always used their Grabpack to close the game station, so I'm sure I've already covered a lot of ground. At least that's what my feet say, they feel like they're about to fall off, damn.... Why does everything always hurt so much?

Hang on... does my hand even work on the sensors? no, I have to try it and if not I have to cross this metal sheet somehow, is there any other way? I have to think while I'm doing this, I look at the pipes on the left and right... then I realise how high this room goes???.

I wish I'd been here more often...instead of Playcare, where only the children come without their parents. But 'do I even have parents?' I can hardly remember anything other than all the tests here and the hour... that brought all this here in the first place. The Hour of Joy I don't even want to think about the Entire Death... and the all the blood...

I feel slightly nauseous already, 'no I have to keep going' It's like a reflex with my ability I stretch my arm out like it's a couple of metres long and just mentally imagine it. I don't need to close my eyes like in one of those fairy tales Miss Delight used to read to us. I know that I can do this, and at that very moment my arm flies forwards and stretches out many metres, and I reach the sensor perfectly with my hand. It's cold

I just hope it works, and I hear the slightest vibration, The sensor.

A small bar on the screen fills slowly but steadily with a red colour until it reaches the end and a loud beep sounds. oh no that was loud... too loud.

Someone... no something must have heard it. I have to hurry from now on, the gate is up and I can now see through, a huge room, lots of games, slides and everything I could ever have hoped for to the left and right. 'Is that an information sign at the front?' I walk a little forwards and only then do I notice it... The huge clock hanging above the tracks at the end of the room.

"I need to know-" My stomach lets out a very loud growl, No not now, damn that hurts. I can still stand but hobble on in the direction of the giant Podest, there are pictures all over the sides, some with a few words but interestingly some with some text. I try to read something on a picture on a pillar... but at that moment I collapse on the floor The pain.

It hurts much more than it did a few hours ago, and I remember the words of the scientists "No!, he doesn't have to eat anything, remember?!, Patchface here won't get anything until he shows us if it works with his body!" I try not to get too worked up as I climb a few small stairs and finally arrive at the front of the platform. Three levers? I knew I wouldn't be able to ride the train... but I never thought there would be some kind of code.

Wait where is the Train?

But I don't have much time to think about it anyway, because I feel something coming up my throat and instinctively kneel on the floor… to throw up away from me...'just stomach fluids'. I can't even remember the last time I ate something... Apart from a few fingers of myself. But I also see a little blood in my vomit, slowly running down the bright blue stairs of the podest. Disgusting

“im hungry….” I stretch my arm subconciusly against the panel as I kneel on the floor. 'wait a minute...' something is crawling up ahead, as if I had new energy I stand up and stare at a swing in the right corner...not far away from me.

A small animal, about the size of my hand, 'just lying there on the floor?'

"Is it... dead?" Without much thinking, I simply move towards the small animal. Not thinking anything… anything at all.

Third person Pov:

Angel walks slowly and carefully towards the small animal, kneeling down to take a closer look... It has just died.

But that doesn't seem to interest him... He desperately wraps both hands around the little animal and bites its head off. Without resistance or anything else, he stuffs it into his scarred mouth and tears it to pieces with his teeth. The bones slowly crack together in his mouth and he doesn't seem to notice that a little blood is flowing out of the corner of his mouth, he is completely mentally focussed on Surviving.

That's why it was necessary to devour this little lost Rat. He slowly begins to swallow the rat's mangled flesh, but then he opens his mouth and spits out something else, the rat's tail. He coughs twice and quickly turns his head to check the game station, there is still no toy in sight.

Anything to survive.... Right?

He stands up slowly and walks back over to the platform and takes a closer look at the tracks that come on after the train. He glances briefly at the dark corridor that follows the tracks and immediately runs back to the platform.

But just then he Collapses on the ground. Tears, blood and every possible bodily fluid is just leaving him. He vomits on the floor repeatedly, crying and pissing himself at the same time. The crying gets stronger. He has a mental as well as a physical breakdown. He lies on the floor for a few minutes... crying.

But then, out of nowhere, he gets up and catches himself for a moment. The crying stops and he wipes his tears with his arm, which is already smeared with blood.

Then he turns to the train and walks off... A short jump down onto the tracks and he is now on his way to his only destination that could still give him the chance to live.

Angel Pov:

I can't take any more of this... All this pain, the Hunger and the fact that if a toy found me, I'd probably be some kind of food source for the rest of my rotten life. The pain while having my limbs cut off... no... teared off would be unimaginable with these Monsters.

No... I must go on... I must survive.

Im on my way:     Playcare

[okamirayne]

Hello Rayne!

A bit more of a private one so of course, feel free to not answer if it crosses any boundaries.

Do you have tips to get adult life, day jobs and creative writing under one hat? (German saying, not sure if it translates to English at all lmao)

I've started my Bachelor's in a very non-creative field this week and it has been and is going to be very demanding in terms of time and energy. I've noticed that I get extremely drained and burnt out when I try to be creative after a long day. The ideas are there (sometimes even better than when I have more time) but the energy just... isn't.

I appreciate any advice you have and hope you're doing well! 💜 It's been cooling off here quite a bit, I've already had my first Chai today 👀🍵getting autumn-y

Heya lovely @sunlightrays!

A bit more of a private one so of course, feel free to not answer if it crosses any boundaries.

Aw, thanks for the head's up. Don't you worry, I'll go full dodge-ball acrobatic if I feel any uncomfortable curveballs thrown my way. As it stands, I'll do my best to offer support with my very humble input - PLEASE trash anything that doesn't resonate with you.

I've started my Bachelor's in a very non-creative field this week [...]

First off...

FAITO! Congratulations on taking on your Bachelor's degree (I recall you mentioning this was in the pipeline) - I'm wishing you every success for this chapter of your story, luv.

[...] and it has been and is going to be very demanding in terms of time and energy.

Gods, understandably. Please shore up on whatever you need; tea, coffee, the blood and tears of your enemies. You got this!

I've noticed that I get extremely drained and burnt out when I try to be creative after a long day. The ideas are there (sometimes even better than when I have more time) but the energy just... isn't. [...] I appreciate any advice you have ...

Right. I hear you. I'll do my damnedest to help -- but again, throw out anything that doesn't work for you. I'm spit-balling here, so just take what sticks.

How do you GET your energy? Would you consider yourself to be more extroverted or introverted? Maybe you're a combination of the two (ambivert)? Do you need alone time to refill your well, or do you require the energy of others to help recharge your battery?

What is FUN for you? What hobbies/downtime GIVE you energy?

What helps you to DECOMPRESS completely and switch off? Even if this isn't writing. Something that doesn't necessarily COST you energy (which writing does, even if it's a fun investment and pleasurable price) -- something where you are chilled, having fun, or resting...which brings me to...

What is REST for you? What is RECOVERY for you? What does that look like? What do you need to REST (which leads to recovery and hopefully more margin/capacity -- which allows for your empty well to accommodate creative energy again)?

What kind of WRITER are you? Do you fly by the seat of your pants and just enjoy rolling with whatever inspiration hits or do you like planning and plotting? Can you test the waters on a day you feel like you have some energy, and see how that leaves you feeling e.g. drained or lifted?

What I'm predominantly getting at here, is asking you to consider what GIVES you that energy back. What RESTORES to you the energy that isn't there (which your degree is currently consuming). I'm not sure what Bachelor's you're doing, so I won't and can't presume exactly what that costs you energy-wise (though it sounds like it costs you a lot, given what you described about feeling extremely drained and burnt-out).

I would advocate ENERGY RESTORATION. Which means, REST, RECOVERY, RECREATION, REMEDIAL PLAY. The light, easy, fun, restful, or joyful things that don't require you to invest too much of your energy. That can be alone or with others. It can be anything that works for you. It looks different for everyone, so it may take some experimentation or maybe you've got some go-to places, people, past-times or pleasures that are tried and tested?

This is where I'd start, sweetie. Looking to balance the scales by getting energy back so you don't end up in the flaming hell-pit of total burnout. The writing isn't going anywhere. It will wait for you to have the energy for it. Your degree will probably demand a lot of you right now, which is why sustenance for your creative energy (even if you have to stockpile it for a bit) is so important.

Do you have tips to get adult life, day jobs and creative writing under one hat? (German saying, not sure if it translates to English at all lmao)

Translates perfectly, no worries. As for me having tips...

No word of a lie. I am furniture crawling my ass along a very strange path at the moment. Getting adult life, day jobs, and creative writing under one hat depends on so many things; your financial situation, your personal capacity (mentally, emotionally, physically), your goals/desires, your needs and values, your UNMET needs/desires etc. It's a very individual journey, and the artist/creative path, however archetypal at times, is changing a lot in our modern landscape (which can be a very good thing).

The good thing is, creative writing can manifest in many different areas (copywriting, ghostwriting, editing, journalism, developmental media, blogging, vlogging, etc) -- again, I don't know your personal capacity, means, or margins, or what it may or may not require / cost you if you're balancing/sacrificing other areas of your life. Which is totally normal. I think work-life balance all at once is an overrated and unrealistic metric.

It would be so easy for me to say "follow your heart" and "do what you love" and do I advocate that? Abso-fuckin-lutely. So long as you're prepared for the TRADEOFFS and the COST. I think that's the biggest tip, luv. Getting real damn clear on what you are prepared to give up. And what you are NOT prepared to give up/compromise on? For whatever reasons. Zero judgement. It's what works for YOU.

So my tips are ASKING YOURSELF THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.

What do you want to get out of your creative writing? Do you want to do it professionally or just as a pleasure pursuit? Both are awesome.

Why are you taking your current degree in a non-creative field? Job security or genuine joy/interest for the field? If it's for joy/interest, it will cost a little less than if you're grafting without pleasure at all. Btw, no need to answer any of these questions, I'm literally brainstorming question suggestions with you to get CLARITY.

Clarity = awesome.

How can you balance your creativity against necessity/security/other job etc.? Do you need to cut yourself some slack and get the degree out the way before you decide that? Maybe you can dabble in creative writing as you go along and figure out how you regain and sustain your energy?

These kinds of questions can help a lot, especially when you're looking at your energetic capacity so you don't burnout.

I have no clue if any of this was helpful...it sure as hell went beyond my two cents, so I do apologise for the massive word-vomit of a response. I feel passionately about this, given my own god-awful experience with burnout, energy mismanagement, and the flaming brimstone underworld that kind of shit puts you in -- I would hate to learn you ended up there. Please be kind, patient, and gentle with yourself. You're embarking on a big quest here with your degree, which sounds like it demands a lot. May the writing, when you have energy for it, be a cosy non-demanding companion and a supportive compadre. Not a bloody albatross around your neck or a hellhound snapping at your heels. Writing is better when it's FUN. Hard, tiring, and frustrating 'maybe-I-need-a-safe-word' kind of fun...but worth it. Worth the investment (energy) it requires.

Please, please, please prioritise your rest and your recovery whenever you can, luv. I am sending super-charged positive vibes your way, with a gallon of tea. Autumn is a magical time, so I hope the chilly, crispy, colourful, chai-drinking vibes of this season nourish and support you. Ganbatte, my dear!

~ Rayne x 💜☕️🍁

[flockofcrowsinatornadoofcreation]

Birdcage, Chapter 13

Novocaine

Morro glares at the door, listening to Kai stomp down the hall. Only once he hears a door slam does he relax.

He was sure that Kai would attack him when the Master of Fire found him sitting on the couch next to Lloyd, who was showing him a strange book he called a "comic".

In hindsight, Kai probably had been about to attack him, judging from the way Lloyd leapt from the couch to block him.

Morro grits his teeth as he remembers the things they screamed at each other.

Lloyd puts a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Morro glares at him, wrenching away.

"Why do you even care," he snaps as he turns to the door.

"Morro, wait-"

Something in his chest snaps, and he whirls on Lloyd.

"Don't even," he snarls. "I'm not your bud, I'm not your friend. Stop acting like it."

Then he stomps away, but not before he sees the hurt on Lloyd's face.

▪︎<◇>▪︎

That night, Morro slides the medbay window open.

He doesn't spare a glance at the sheer drop below the window sill as he climbs out. Latching onto the wall next to him, he leans out into the abyss and closes his eyes, feeling the night breeze whip through his hair. He sighs and turns back to the wall, beginning the climb to the Monastery's tower.

He's done this climb a thousand times. He'd discovered how to grip the wall not long after Wu had taken him in as a boy. As soon as the pain in his ribs faded, and he didn't feel so dizzy all the time, Morro took to climbing to the roof.

But that night, as he climbs, thinking about his most recent argument with Kai, he can't help but wonder...

What is Morro still doing here?

He reaches the tower roof and drags himself over the edge, sitting at the tallest part so nothing is higher than him.

Looking up at the stars, Morro lets the wind wreathe past him, like an endless river in the sky. He knows what it wants, but he worries that it won't let him join it. After his fall from the Monastery, he's reluctant to test his powers in fear of being rejected.

So he listens to the wind play, watches the stars turn in the night sky, and tries to calm his raging thoughts.

I'm doing no good staying here. I keep hurting people. I wish I hadn't blown up at Lloyd. If I leave, no one else has to get hurt.

But will I do any better leaving? What if they come after me? What if I'm found and put back in Kryptarium? What would my fa- Wu think of me?

What should I do?

A sudden sound reaches Morro's ears: the sound of roof tiles shifting as someone walks over them. He jumps to his feet and looks around.

A beam of the moon's light reflected off of metal; someone is walking around on the roof below the tower.

"Who's there?"

The figure stills, looking up at him. The moon illuminates their face, and Morro blinks in surprise.

It's Zane... but it's also not. Two golden eyes shine at him, like stars in the dark. His skin gleams like bronze -- probably because it is bronze, Morro realizes as he looks closer. He's shorter than Zane, too-

"Hello!" The person says, startling Morro enough to make him slip on the roof tiles and fall off the tower.

Ow.

The bronze guy yelps and runs over, trying to help Morro get to his feet. Morro isn't sure his brains are intact from the fall, so he lets him.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I was just- oh." The bronze guy blinks at him, his eyes glowing brighter.

"What?"

The -- what was that fancy word Pixal used? Nindroid! That's it! The nindroid reaches up to touch Morro's temple.

"You're bleeding," he murmurs.

Morro shrinks away from his hand, but raises his own to his head.

His fingers come away wet with blood.

He stares at the liquid, bile rising in his throat when more begins to trickle down his face. It suddenly becomes very hard to breathe.

I'm fine. This is fine. It's just a little blood.

"Are humans supposed to bleed this much?" the nindroid asks in concern.

Morro's heart pounds in his chest, drowning out all rational thought.

Next thing he knows, he's being swept off his feet by the nindroid, who's carrying him from the roof down to the courtyard.

"What-"

The bronze nindroid hushes him, nudging open the door with his foot.

Morro's face heats with embarrassment. He fell off the roof, is being bridal-carried by a guy whose name he doesn't know, and was just shushed.

Of course, that's the perfect time to run into Cole in the hallway.

"Wha- Echo? Morro? What's going on? Why's Morro- is that blood?"

"I startled him and he fell off the roof," the nindroid explains swiftly, carrying Morro past Cole and into the medbay. He deposits Morro into his cot and begins rummaging in the cabinet.

"What- the roof?" Cole yells. Morro winces at the volume, headache growing with every word.

The nindroid shushes Cole, returning to the cot with a roll of bandages.

"I suspect he has a concussion, but I do not have the capability to scan him. Please go get Zane or Pixal."

"I'm here," Zane says, appearing in the doorway, the rest of the Ninja crowding behind him.

"You!" Kai shouts, glaring at Morro with blazing eyes. "I knew you were trouble!"

Kai pushes past Zane and charges at him, only to be tackled by a flash of bronze.

"Don't hurt him!" The bronze nindroid cries. "It's not his fault!"

Kai only seems to get angrier.

"Echo! Did he hurt you? I swear, if he hurt you, I'm gonna-"

Lloyd suddenly materializes at Morro's side.

"You're bleeding!" Lloyd yelps. "What happened?"

"Lloyd, get away from him!"

Morro stares at Lloyd. His head feels like it's been stuffed with cotton to the point of bursting. Everyone's yelling. He's bleeding everywhere. Lloyd is probably gonna yell at him for snapping earlier.

The world spins-

"I think I'm gonna-"

The world blinks out.

[nathank77]

5/18/24

3:59 a.m Updated 4:05 a.m Added to 5:53 a.m

I was tested how disoriented my mother is and I asked her some questions. She was giving me weird answers. Like we live on hummingway Avenue... we don't.. I asked her if she was fucking with me. Maybe she's high... she also said she lived in Hendersonville Alabama...

Then I asked her what her daughters name was. And she said "don't even make me go there." And I said, "Skye." And she said verbatim, "that's one of them." And I then said, "wow you're really going to go there, fuck off." And she said, "skye and nala."

I'm fucking livid. Idk whats wrong with her but like woah with the transphobia. I want to leave...

And it's like all i hear around me is my deadname thanks to this hallucination...

And beyond that want to know something I constantly worry about- what if when my parents get really sick and get dementia/alzheimers and they only remember me as my deadname. It's always been a concern cause I'll fucking leave. I won't be around that shit.

She also broke at least once rib that's all i know for now. As I boil with fucking rage.

No update beyond that... I am home now..

And I'm still boiling with rage. This is why I don't want to be out. People look at you different treat you different and say shitty things like that to you when they are mad. Christ her blood alcohol level was 200 and she was on oxy- condone and she still said it and it was really fucking bitchy.....

Like she meant it... and like she wanted to hurt me... and it's like yea I know you wish i had stayed unhappy to appease you.

So I have to try to sleep with this rage while I also worry about her. I didn't even hug her. The blood and that comment it wasn't fucking worth it. Like FUCK YOU.

Skye wasn't there. I was AND YOU HAVE THE AUDICITY TO SAY THAT TO ME. FUCK OFF. I WONT EVEN REGRET IT IF YOU FUCKING DIE TONIGHT. WHY? CAUSE YOU FUCKING MEANT IT.

I don't know why my family is like this. Why do I deserve this? Like sure if I had a more normal mother back in October or November or even sooner I would have been institutionalized for my ocd or psychosis... but beyond that, why the fuck can't I have a normal loving family?

That's the only reason I can see. If I had another straight laced parent like my dad I would have been drugged and sedated. I would have lost my autonomy.

So yea. I mean beyond that I guess I deserve this off hand transphobic remarks.

I'm a stronger and better man than any fucking cis guy. For christ sake I am self made. I fought for this and I'm fucking PROUD of who I see in that mirror. I'm fucking in love with myself.

This world is so disgusting. My family is so fucking disgusting.

This is why I want to kill myself. I have nothing. And when my siblings get older I expect remarks. I honestly do.

This is why it's actually not debatable if i ever end up with someone their family can't fucking know not even their fucking kids. I expect them to fucking lie. I'm done with this off hand comments. People are fucking nasty. EVERYONE IS.

And don't think for a second they won't go for the jugular everyone always goes for it when you're trans. It's the perfect fucking put down..

I don't hate myself I hate the fucking world and how cruel it is. I hate fucking people bc they are all fucking fake and I'm fucking DONE with people.

I'm going back in the fuckint closet. I'm fucking proud but I'm sick of people going for thr jugular. All I hear is my fucking deadname thanks to fuckint kristen dew and then my mom had to fucking day that.

I'm so fucking done with everyone. No one is ever going to know I'm Trans but my future partner. I'm going to take my fucking trans channel Down. I'm going to lie some men grow tits when they get overweight and need surgery.... thats what happened to me. Otherwise I have a fucking penis and XY chromosomes.

And idgf cause this is about how cruel the world is but don't fucking think for one fucking second I'm not fuckint proud of who I am. I love my fucking body. I don't want to be cos but the world has to see me like that in order to respect me.

I have snipped so many people out of my life and I mean the solution is to NOT TELL THEM.

[ddejavvu]

ok this is a bit complicated so bare with me

spence is a medical doctor but still works at the bau. the bau have to get like an annual medical test and one of them is a blood test.

moreid centric so reid is the one drawing the blood and morgan's scared of them. (derek said that he's gonna pass out and spence said things like i can take your blood when you're unconciouss") emily, jj, and everyone is watching and laughing but derek's nearly having a panic attack. spence then ordered everyone to get out and calm him down. he stopped mocking him and just being so gentle with him like he handle a lil kid who's afraid of needle.

this is kinda complicated and i just taught ab it in my daydreams lol it would mean a lot if you can write it for me, you dont have to though. luv ur writings, ty!!

<3 moreid <3 omg i want more characterxcharacter requests

--

"Spencer," As if the lack of professionality in using Spencer's first name wasn't evidence enough that Derek was panicking, his eyes were wide and intense too, locked on the needle in Spencer's hand, "I'm not kidding. I'm gonna pass out."

"It doesn't matter," Spencer shrugged, a soft smirk on his lips as he watched the usually cool, calm, and collected officer fall apart, "I can still draw blood even if you're unconscious."

Derek's eyes snapped shut, a grimace taking over his expression. And suddenly, it didn't seem funny. The shallow breathing that the man exhibited no longer seemed like grandiose dramatics put on for entertainment purposes, to get a few laughs. Instead they seemed real, ragged, and desperate.

The tightening of his muscles didn't seem like an effort to show them off, instead, his chest was stiff and his arms were pressed up against the wall behind him, holding on for dear life.

The way he'd scrambled up and out of the chair wasn't Morgan making Reid's job more difficult, it was Reid making Morgan's life more difficult.

Spencer finally snapped out of his discerning trance, hearing JJ's voice from across the room, "Oh, come on, you big baby. It's just a shot."

"Yeah," Penelope giggled, "I've seen seven year-olds take that more gracefully than you."

"Jack was better than this at three." Hotch piped up, an amused, seldom-seen smirk on his face.

"Guys," Reid spoke up, his voice much less light and airy than before, now grounded and strong, "Enough."

He didn't think he'd ever spoken with that much raw authority to his coworkers before. Sure, he'd given orders, he'd interrogated suspects, but he'd never silenced his team with two words before.

"Reid, we were-"

"Just give me a minute alone with him." Spencer glanced back at Derek, who was tracking everyone's movements with anxious eyes.

His coworkers, blissfully unaware and unrelating to the raw panic radiating off of Derek, shared a confused look. One by one, they stood, faces much more serious than when they'd been taunting Derek only moments ago. A few even mumbled out a mediocre apology to Spencer, as if he was the one that needed it.

"Derek," Spencer mirrored the man's former unprofessionalism, his voice soft and gentle as he set the needle down, stepping forwards a few steps, "I'm sorry for teasing you."

"It's stupid," Derek gritted out, his chest still heaving, "Hotch said- I'm in my thirties."

"It's not stupid," Spencer shook his head, walking closer and closer to Derek, "It's a phobia. I'm sorry I didn't realize before, I thought you were messing around."

"Don't apologize," Derek shook his head, screwing his eyes shut again, "I just- I can't do this."

"You have to," Spencer grimaced, finally standing in front of Derek, "I'm sorry, I wish there was some other alternative."

"I can't," Derek urged, "You don't understand, my brain won't let me-"

"I do understand." Spencer admitted, "Phobias can be crippling. And any situation seems better than this one right now. But this is mandatory, you have to complete these tests if you want to keep working here. If you don't do it now, you'll have to do it later, and I probably won't be the one administering the shot. Can I please help you with it today? I don't want you to have to do this again."

Spencer swore that he'd never seen Derek look closer to tears without actually crying. His chin was wobbling, his eyes glassy as his fingers clenched into fists to ground himself.

"I'll go slow," Spencer crooned, keeping his voice sweet and soothing, "Or- or fast, if that would help. You call the shots here- sorry, bad phrasing. But you know what I mean, you're in charge. Just because you need to complete the end goal doesn't mean you can't dictate the process."

"Nothing you can do will distract me."

"Actually," Spencer strode back to his desk, picking up an envelope from inside of his drawer, "I think these will keep you entertained for hours."

"What-"

"Baby pictures." Spencer pulled out a thick stack of photos, a slight blush on his face as he looked at the one on the top, "My mom sent them to me the other day. I kept meaning to get them out of here so that no one else could see them, but I guess it's good that I didn't."

"You can't possibly think that a few pictures of you as a kid are gonna distract me from a needle in my arm."

"I'm wearing a tie at age six," Spencer brandished the photo in question, one eyebrow raised, "You just told me the other day that you would bet money that I came out of my mom with a sweater vest on. I thought you'd want to see them. But if you don't want to," Spencer teasingly slipped the photos back into the envelope, heading back for his desk, "I can just-"

"Give me the pictures." Derek sighed, shakily peeling himself off of the wall he'd been leaning against, "Damn you and your stupid little baby glasses."

"I was six," Spencer chuckled, "I wasn't a baby."

"You're still a baby," Derek scoffed, "You're afraid of the dark."

"You're afraid of needles." Spencer deadpanned, leading Derek to his seat, "Did you forget what this was about?"

"Right," Derek sighed, his breath trembling in his throat, "Sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry," Spencer shushed him, "That means the pictures worked. You were distracted, and you forgot about the shot. Keep looking, I'm pretty sure there's one in there of me reading War and Peace at far too young an age."

"Anything before sixty is far too young to read War and Peace," Derek grumbled, sifting through the photos in his lap "But, uh.. Thanks, Spencer."

Spencer smiled softly, the expression barely discernable as he rolled up the sleeve of Derek's t-shirt, "Just don't tell anyone else about the pictures."

"I can't promise that," Derek laughed incredulously, brandishing a picture of Spencer standing outside his university, two feet shorter and ten years younger than all of the other students there, "I'm keeping this one."

[6rookie-writer0110]

Heaven is not waiting for me anymore

Clark Kent x Male!Reader Kent

Request - where y/n is the son of Clark and Lois from the injustice universe. He has kryptonite in his system where he is unable to use his powers because clark (injustice) made an example of him so he can show fear. After that he has been cold to others and distance with people including Barbara who he has feelings for but so much has happened. So he has to relay on martial art from training. with bruce, he also has a bat suit. He also have a deep hatred for his father (injustice superman).

Earth 2- Injustice Universe

You lost your mother Lois because of the Joker. Your father Clark snapped, he became a different person. Now he is starting to kill criminals and doesn't care about anyone or you. He doesn't stand for hope anymore now he stands for destruction. You feel that you lost both of your parents, you don't wear the symbol of hope anymore.

You made a plan to stop your father. You didn't think fully out the plan, but you have kryptonite inside a gun. You are half Kryptonian and kryptonite is still your weakness.

You have been tracking your father, he is about to kill a criminal robbing a bank. But you stepped in and punched him in the face. Everyone saw what you did, they take out their phones and start to record. Now you and Clark start to fight each other.

“You are destroying everything! You are no god!!” You yelled.

“I am a God. Everyone bows down to me and you would bow down to me” Clark said.

You take out the gun, you pulled the trigger. But he used speed to grab the gun and there is one bullet left. Now he will make sure everyone will watch what he will do next. He has his hand around your throat, you are struggling to breathe and tears go down your face.

“Anyone who tries to disobey me or think they can kill me, this will happen!” Clark yelled.

He aimed the gun on your chest and pulled the trigger. Everyone is in shock at what happened, he throws you to the ground. You are in pain and you try to use your powers but can't. Barbara arrived at the scene, she used Batarang to distract him. He left and Barbara picked you up and takes you to the bat cave.

---

A week later...

You have been in a coma for a week, Barbara and Bruce have been taking care of you. You wake up and you see Barbara looking at a computer screen.

“What happened?” You asked.

She turns around and walked towards you.

“You have been in a coma for a week. The kryptonite was close to your heart. You lost a lot of blood and it was too much kryptonite in your system” Barbara said.

You touch your chest and you see the scar. You sighed and she gives you a cup of water.

“Thank you, Barbara. But I have to go” You said.

“Your father thinks you are dead. Don't do anything stupid, you almost died and if it happens again he would kill you” Barbara said.

“He needs to be stopped,” You said.

“I know. But he is stronger than you, you are thinking reckless” Barbara said.

You take out the iv from your arms and take off the hospital gown. She gave you a hoodie and sweat pants.

“Where are you going?” Barbara asked.

“Dont worry about me,” You said.

She watched you walk away and she called Bruce and told him what happened. You went to a rundown motel and you want to be alone. Your father thinks you're dead and he is still killing criminals, no one can stop him.

Days went by, you didn't leave the motel room for anything. Barbara didn't check up on you, she wanted to give you space. And she has been busy with Bruce designing a suit.

You are in bed watching tv, you hear a knock on the door but you don't get up. She starts to knock louder, but you don't move.

“Y/n! Open the door now” Barbara yelled.

You sighed heavily then got out of bed and opened the door.

“What!?” You yelled.

“Are you done with the pity party!?” Barbara asked.

“How did you find me?” You asked.

She walks in and you closed the door. The motel room is a dump.

“Wasn't hard. I put a tracker on the hoodie you left with. I know you still want to stop your dad, so come with me” Barbara said.

“Why should I? Plus he still thinks I'm dead” You said.

“To train. You are still weak if you went to fight him now well he will break like a stick” Barbara said.

“Fine,” You said.

You leave with Barbara, she took you to Bruce’s mansion. You and Barbara have feelings for each other, you told her, and you were going to ask her out but tragically struck. Her feelings for you haven't changed but she wants to be there for you. She wants you to open up to her but you won't.

“Y/n, how are you,” Bruce said.

“Why do you want me here?” You asked.

“To help you train and stop your father,” Bruce said.

“Okay,” You said.

---

Bruce and Barbara started to train with you in Martial arts. Today you are fighting against Bruce, Barbara, and the League of Assassins. Some are friends with Bruce and they agreed to train you. They are pushing your limits, they don't let you rest. Any mistake you make will let you know and make you train harder.

During the night, Bruce is training you with weapons. Barbara shows you how to use the weapons, you did struggle to fight with weapons. Bruce and the league of assassins easily knocked the weapons out of your hands.

After training Barbara would want to spend time with you, but you would lock yourself in the bedroom. She gives you space and she goes back to the bat cave.

“Here is your dinner, master y/n,” Alfred said.

“Thank you. You don't have to call me ‘master’, Alfred” You said.

“Master, y/n you shouldn't hide from the world. Yes, you are going through a tough time but that doesn't mean you can't be happy in the end. You should let yourself grieve for your mother, she was a wonderful woman and she was strong” Alfred said.

“I wish everything didn't change,” You said.

“We all feel the same way. But now you have a chance to create the life you want a new one. what would your mother say right now?” Alfred said.

What made you think what he said, he walks out of the room. You start to eat the food and keep thinking about what he said.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

A few weeks later...

Bruce and Barbara have been designing a suit for you. They finished with the suit and they watched you test out the suit. Last few weeks, you were training from dawn until the next day. You mastered fighting with weapons and learned new combat moves. You are still distant from Barbara, two days ago you got into a huge argument with her.

You are still in love with her but you want to protect her from your father. You don't want to see Barbara get hurt.

“What do you think of the suit?” Barbara asked.

You take off the helmet.

“I like it and I can move in it,” You said.

“You are okay with the symbol?” Bruce asked.

“I like it,” You said.

The suit is all black, the Batman symbol is red, the eyes are red, the gloves have sharp claws, and the suit protects you from kryptonite. Barbara and Bruce start to suit and you put the helmet back on.

---

You three found Bruce in the city, you stopped him from killing someone.

“Son, you came back from the dead” Clark said.

“This ends today,” You said.

“I see you are wearing a new symbol -”

“You ruined the legacy of being a Kryptonian!” You yelled.

He used heat vision to attack you but you dodged it. Now Clark is fighting you while Barbara and Bruce are trying to get the citizens away from the fight. Clark punched you and you hit the ground, he used speed to grab you by the neck.

“This time I will make sure you are dead,” Clark said.

“You are not the same father that I used to have. He is dead to me!” You yelled.

You took out, you tased him, and he lets you go. You and Clark used heat vision at the same time, you used more strength to not fall. You throw Batarang at him and it started to explode.

He fell then you start to punch him in the face over and over. All the anger you have for him starts to come out. You take out the kryptonite dagger and you try to stab but he has his wrapped around your hands.

“Y/n! Y/n don't kill him” Barbara yelled.

“He deserves to die!” You yelled.

“That is an easy escape for him! You are much better than him, don't become like him” Barbara said.

Something clicked in your mind.

“I want you to suffer until the day you die. I lost my mom and my father” You said.

You moved away from him and he starts to stand up. Bruce played a video of Lois on the big screen and starts to watch, you your father cry.

The moment where Clark held Lois before she died.

“I can't lose you” Clark cried.

“I will always love you, Clark. I will always remember you and y/n, please be there for each other. He is going need to you. Tell him, I love him...”

You start to cry and it would be the last time you hear her voice.

“Son, I am sorry for the chaos I caused,” Clark said.

“I don't believe you and I will never will. You killed my friend Shazam and many others. You are lucky I didn't kill you because of Barbara. This is the last time you will see me” You said.

You take out the Phantom Zone projector and you sent him to the Phantom Zone.

✯ ✬ ✫ ✬

Time Skip...

You and Barbara became an official couple. She makes you happy and you carrying boxes into her apartment. You are going to live with her and she is very happy about that.

You and Barbara sat on the couch and she gave you a peck on the lips.

“So happy that was the last box,” Barbara said.

“Now we have to unbox everything,” You said.

“How about we go get something to eat and we do it later?” Barbara said.

You kissed her on the lips.

“Sounds good to me,” You said.

Later, you and Barbara spend half of the night unboxing everything. You did use speed to do it faster which Barbara is happy about. You and Barbara would save the city together but you don't kill criminals who rob a store. You would kill if it's a life and death situation only.

[cqlfeels]

LAN XICHEN :D

But also a-qing please 🧡

I'm sure you already know all my LXC opinions, but sure!

Lan Xichen

one aspect about them i love: What don't I love about LXC! To pick just one, I love how hard he tries to live up to his ideals while still making room for pragmatism. It's an extremely difficult balance to achieve in MDZS and he probably comes closest. (Not that it's a competition, it's not!)

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: I won't go into detail because I don't want to raise anybody's blood pressure by dumping ungodly amounts of salt, but: he. is. not. a. himbo. Not even in the broadest possible sense of that word.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: He uses painting as a form of self-soothing. Not because he paints what he's feeling (he doesn't), but because carefully observing the exact turn of a leaf to paint it respectfully silences his brain far better than meditation. None of these paintings are for sharing, though.

one character i love seeing them interact with: For someone whose blog is so 3zun-oriented, this might be unexpected but actually, it's LWJ.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: Well, everyone, because I just want more LXC in general. But if I could pick only one person, LQR. Their relationship is so complex, I wish we could see more of it.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Little A-Song adored LXC. That was very adorable! Like a mini A-Yao! So cute! ...until A-Song reached that stage of development where he would throw a tantrum when LXC left Jinlintai to go back to Cloud Recesses. Then every trauma button of the Jades being upset when saying goodbye to their mom is hit and no matter how many times LXC tells himself that this is objectively a completely different situation in every way it can be different, it still does things to his emotions. Not helped by the fact that one day LXC says goodbye and the next time he goes to Jinlintai is because he's received news of JRS's death.

A-Qing

one aspect about them i love: She's so strong. Honestly one of the toughest characters in this story. Her life is a horror movie but she goes down fighting and I can admire that

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: She's not XXC's daughter. Their age gap isn't that big in MDZS, and even in CQL, she's still probably more like a much younger sister than a daughter

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: I strongly feel that she's not completely blind but her vision is impaired enough that she genuinely struggles with many aspects of life. But once people learn she can see at all any struggle is dismissed as laziness, so it's better to just pretend she's blind altogether

one character i love seeing them interact with: XY! I find it fascinating how they keep testing one another and fighting to see whose version of reality will be accepted, while still keeping up the appearance of found family. Also the way they're foils to each other is on point.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: No one, really? Part of the reason Yi City works for me is that it's so isolated. It's important to my personal enjoyment that AQ isn't interacting much with anyone outside of their found family from hell

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Sometimes XY gets distracted and forgets this isn't actually a found family, but instead of these being sweet moments, this is when AQ is most scared because she begins to wonder if he's actually a better liar than she thinks and the times when she suspects him are the times when he wants her to suspect him. He's not put together enough to have layers of lies like this but she doesn't now that