#no i’m not over it how can u tell???
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do you know how devastating it is for me to have the shark themed idol quickly start becoming one of my least favorites just because of her fanbase. do you. do you
#going to put shiver stans in my dni and i’m almost serious about it this time.#start tagging posts with ‘’shiver tw’’.#i’m the shark guy.. and we get a cute mainstream shark themed splatoon idol..AND I CANT ENJOY HER#divorced from the game as a whole i do like shiver. but the fanbase makes me not want to associate with her#which is awful and i feel guilty for :(#i need to start making my own deep cut content where they are not splatcast hosts but are still bandits#anyways. bites chews tears rips shreds kills#no i’m not over it how can u tell???#kicking everyone who says to be nice to each other over this splatfest in the knees
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i seriously need more narumi and mina moments because just imagine the relief mina felt when narumi joined, similar age to her and was also considered a prodigy in the force.
to have someone to share the burden of the defence force’s future with must’ve felt so freeing. because before he joined it was just her, age 18, being told that she was going to change kaiju extermination with her exceptional synergy with firearms. and she was so, so scared.
narumi doesn’t have the kind of skills or talent for long range combat like she does, but he’s also a top candidate (despite his behavioural issues- which aren’t much of a hinderance anyway) and mina doesn’t have to carry the burden of the future alone anymore
(although she’d never admit, given she probably views narumi as someone completely shocking i just think it’s so funny how she stood there like O_O when she first saw him)
like i LOVE seeing the contrast. mina who was sent onto the battlefield for the first time and was deathly afraid vs narumi who was sent out and immediately took action because that’s how he always lived (fighting)
and now they’re the top two strongest captains in the force and they will be the ones to lead the new generation..
#egg boils#IM SOOO BONKERS SORRY THEYRE MY FAVES I WANT THME TO HAVE AN IMPACT ON ESCH ORHEF SO FUCKING BAD.#consider this: narumi teaches mina to be less serious. to stop holding onto the burden of others and her team mates and Fight because she#wants to. hold onto ur weapon clench ur teeth because you WANT to be here and protect lives and not because You feel like you have to ashir#and mina teaches him abt team work and yes you can work along but And maybe having to consider ur team members IS burdensome for u but isnt#it nice to have someone watch ur back? for someone to Help you narumi#please please show me how they’ve influenced each other I KNOW DAMN WELL THEY HAVE. I INOW IT. matsumoto please.#i will never be over mina and how genuinely AFRAID she was#ashiro mina my absolute beloved#narumi tells mina to stop being so freaked out all the damn time because you have your team mates don’t you?! always talking my ear off abo#about team work but you can’t even trust your own comrades?!#mina tells narumi that HE keeps acting recklessly because he doesn’t trust his team mates either!!! they’re perfectly capable too#ohhhhh i’m sick im sick i want mina to knock some sense into narumi and vice versa i want them to be the reason they trust their units to#SUCH a degree now. i want them to be the reason why they stand for their men so strongly (narumi immediately pouncing on no.9 when he showe#kikoru isao’s face. mina’s anger and appreciation when her unit stood their ground against no10.#mina#narumi#kaiju no.8#they’re my top two of course i’m making this shit up. i need it so bad bside please please please#i know she grit her teeth and got used to be alone when she subjugates from the roof top but CONSIDER narumi the delinquent but extremely#capable recruit being the one to show her how to live less in fear#i need a tag for them#don’t be stupid#okay that’s it that’s my tag#kn8 spoilers#sorry again. tagging for myself#narumina
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random but i'm so curious as to know how your eyes look, the way you described them in the past have me intrigued
weird girl eyeball compilation
#ignore my crusty lashes & swollen eyelids beauty was never my strong point - neither is my personality#y my eyeballs look so smol when on their own tf#HOW THEY LOOK SO oval here and so circle IRL#I swear over the years they went from bright blue to green to grey to now whatever all these are I just cbf lookin for older pics#now I guess they just look like a swamp and look differently depending on my surroundings#BC some of these looked SO DIFF when u could see the clothes I was wearing in the pic#like maybe our minds construct colour based on our surroundings idk bro#so Ive come to the conclusion they r basically grey and reflect whatever it is in the room like my soul#ofc even my eyeballs are pro at masking I should have known#turns out I’m not unique just weird#also these r mostly all in bad lighting so I’ll let u know if I ever enter the great outdoors#bc I’m being told they look so diff to all these when outside#I guess they reflect the sky more IDK bruh they r actually blue outside as not demonstrated here rip#I’ll keep u posted if I ever discontinue bedrotting#also these r shitty old iPhone quality lMAO#btw u can tell which of these r the most recent bc the light inside of my eyeballs died#actually it died long before any of these pics but even more so now#also rn the white part of my eyes r red so this is not an accurate portrayal of current day is it LMAO#Anyway these pics r making me want to apply mascara correctly but I cbf
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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭
Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3
#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho#if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate#which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons#which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside#because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits#if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon#(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for#1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom#2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her#3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting#where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs#they get IMPACT FRAMES#the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them#I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time#let’s go straight to Bloom#if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination#she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her#Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that#it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons#literally PERFECT foils#which always makes for the juiciest stories#4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode#5) she can literally feel his presence#6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix#of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship#all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!
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ishould draw the dumb stupid jackal idiot dumbass ……
#so neglected#i like how u can tell what oc i’m peeing over at any given point#it Was johnny.#Was#my art#oc art#digital art#traditional art#doodlings#corner guy wants me to go play dnd w him and i’m like#fuck no baby let me CHILL OUT I JUST WOKE UP DUDE#ugh
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i’ve been listening to/watching many (many, many) reactions to steven universe (because that’s what you do when you become newly obsessed with something. see what everyone else thinks about it and drive yourself mad) and it’s so interesting to see all the unique ways people tackle it and the common threads between them all.
there’s podcast recaps (pressure to over-analyze) vs youtube reactions (pressure to overreact). everyone knowing the show (yay) vs fans guiding newcomers (interesting) vs everybody being blind (often disastrous). don’t mind silly fun? they love the first season and amethyst’s character. told about how ~deep~ it gets and expecting only that? they love pearl and have to be dragged through the beginning. even how they chunk the episodes affects things—in watching episode-by-episode, people go the most mad as they try to squeeze meaning out of episodes they can’t yet appreciate until later (or are just. bad at analyses.). in chunks of two, people assume su will have much more horror after watching frybo and cat fingers back-to-back. and chunks of 5 are completely different too!
this only skims the surface. i can watch any episode of su and point out which jokes usually make people laugh, what people pick up on, and how their opinion of the situation reflects on whether they have mommy issues.
#steven universe#the ‘thats what you do’ comment was a joke ftr#i love seeing yt comments be filled with the same people btwn diff channels#bc i know they’re on my journey too!#the most popular one is s/orta stupid reacts bc they are quite intelligent and respectful#s/putnik’s spyglass is fun bc u can tell the reactor got truly invested!!#g/allifrey gals gets so emotional even at the ‘silly’ episodes they’re my favorite ;-;#s/pilling the milk is stupid humor. but they genuinely love the show and will defend it ALWAYS#(though it’s more apparent if you watch their uncut reactions and watch them wrangle twitch chat)#podcasts have been more disastrous for me.. the hyper-analysis format for newcomers not only sets up unfair expectations for the show#but also are almost always all over the place which is the podcasters’ decisions!!#they can talk about their personal lives! i’m listening to it all for free#(also it’s funny bc 99% of podcasters say how no one is watching them meanwhile im there. watching them.)#but it’s just not as enjoyable. also they tend to have really annoying opinions srry.#had to listen to two guys seriously discuss steven and amethyst as a ship. without mention of the age gap WTF?#and in another some guy said how ‘he can’t consider su best television if they keep having silly episodes’#acting all pretentious like know your genre smh#oh and podcasters tend to be guys so i have also listened to guys be like sadie and amethyst r so ugly :/#and ‘when will there be male gems i can’t relate to any of the characters if they’re all girls#oh there’s steven? he’s a fat kid though’#<-none of these are exaggerations it’s really painful#for podcasts i recommend ‘the b/its su podcast’! they’ve watched it all before and everyone’s queer so it’s all great :)#it’s still ongoing too#now i sound harsh on podcasts bc i don’t mention the bad yt reactions ive seen#(and i’ve seen them)#but idk there’s not many good reaction podcasts#now you may be reading this and think i’m writing wayy too much on the topic of reactions random ppl on the internet have for a show#and you’d be right. BUT i’m like those little kids that get frustrated when a movie has no interactability#i have to listen to people say the s1 finale was underwhelming as i scream in my head how they’re watching the wrong order bc h/bo max sucks#yes i have gone crazy. i truly mean it when i say i have watched and listened to SO MANY of these
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god the Woke Content Game List is stupid for so many reasons, but it’s also just CLEARLY subjective lol
FNV lets you have gay sex with several characters but it’s only listed as yellow, even though that’s a dealbreaker for other games. original Baldur’s Gate (extended edition) is red but BG2 is yellow, because there’s gay romances in both but only the first one has a trans character. what the fuck is “pro-DEI messaging” because I legitimately don’t know and that’s listed in a lot of notes. are you really so upset about a single line in passing from a Skyrim NPC that you needed to include that. these games aren’t even listed in alphabetical order.
#a lot of it is clearly ‘yeah this game has woke but i LIKED IT so it’s not as bad’#also the number of ‘this game definitely discuses Woke Themes but i can’t tell if it’s pro or anti’#also the way each individual mass effect game is yellow but mele is red#also dave the diver being upset that the sushi chef isn’t a white guy#psychonauts 2 getting dinged because your boss is a woc who talks about how a white guy was shitty to her#the number of stuff that’s just wrong tho too lmao. dao doesn’t have poly romance. the trans character they listed in mele is from andromeda#honestly kind of funny that da2 is only yellow considering there’s an entire section on wikipedia bc str8 boys HATED that anders flirts w u#ok i’m done listing individual examples but i can kind of tell the rubric#like. gay romance options are a yellow light as long as it’s possible to completely avoid them#gender stuff puts it over the edge. even something as simple as calling it ‘body type’ in the cc is enough to red flag it#and like some of these examples have shown. a single trans character is enough to ‘ruin’ it#a lot of totally normal settings being written off as unreasonably diverse’#i think you maybe just don’t go outside#also hilarious that hogwarts legacy is on there. truly no one is playing that game i guess#mine
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How many more times must i be forced to go through an awful day and then remind people, who I know personally and previously knew to be very intelligent, that the reason why some people get worried about whether or not an online person they interact with is “real” is because there is such a thing as fucking scams.
#getting a masters degree will not save some of you hoes actually. y’all are gonna wind up#Sending money to Nelson Mandelas wife bc she told you over Twitter she needed cash#stop thinking you’re too smart to be conned. If you haven’t been conned it’s only bc the right one hasn’t been run on you yet#Apartment flooded. Costs through the roof. Cleaning my apartment and trying to pack. And still I am forced#To put up with some of y’all. Can you guys please fucking vet the fundraisers you do? Y’all are gonna get information or money stolen#It’s fucking embarrassing. We got taught this shit as kids guys.#But what about their suffering?!?!!#Well idk man if you send 100 dollars to some fucking random con artist and not a person struggling through a very bad and dire situation#How are you going to feel? Bc I’ll tell u rn. If I lose 100 dollars to someone I’m gonna be fucking LIVID#Anyway daily reminder to actually verify your donation posts and make sure they’re reliable before spreading them.#THERE IS NEVER ACTUALLY A FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!!!!!#Guess who got an inbox message this weekend lmao
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coworker was mean to me today so fun!
#txt#it was shit today#bosses don’t know what the fuck they are doing they are always on our ass for shit that should be their responsibility#but they weren’t even the person who was rude#they were all three working on tangent packaging shit and I was off doing some other shit#but I had stuff to package left over from before I started task 2#and I used the date stamp for literally 6 cookies just so I could get them done and out of the way. SO I COULD HELPTHEM#and my coworker walks behind my back is like cool cool cool :) not even directly at me#and then when I asked them if it would help them for me to sticker he was so fucking sarcastic#like shit the fuck up suck my dick fuck all of yall#how was I supposed to know u were on stamp duty idiot I just got over here#sorry I’m ranting this makes me so mad#literally I make myself so fucking small so these people can. physically and emotionally step all over me. and once I step in and#do the shit my bosses tell me to do my coworkers don’t like it#and THEN my bosses are fucking incompetent so it doesn’t matter#literally suck my dick fuck my job I’m so mad about today
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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.
#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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Ok.
#photomatt#‘’if we should continue to invest tumblr at all’’ ok man whatever#sure.#I’m not denying genuine death threats happened I’m sure they did#and like. don’t send direct death threats or death wishes to the people in power u hate.#you’re putting yourself in unnecessary danger for at best some mild catharsis. not a good trade off#don’t get it twisted#predstrogen didn’t do that for the record they dug through her blog to find vent posts#which is what the real problem is: she and many other people have been harassed on or off of this site for over a decade now#which is a problem that’s been with this site since at least 2015 and almost certainly earlier#but man. u can tell when someone doesn’t know how to handle public relations when they sound this fucking condescending#w/o Actually saying jack shit#I’ve got a migraine I’m just gonna post this and hope someone w/ a brain (unlike me) can explain properly why this is#the worlds soppiest nothingburger
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oh! the big sad in my chest again it’s back
#did not miss u old friend#i have GOT to get normaler#tips for not enjoying the masochism of self pity?????? PLEASE i’m serious tell me how to stop#academically i cannot afford this#variety is truly the spice of life man. no longer suffering from throwing up anxiety like i had all summer#instead it’s brain fog and over analysis of my relationships and the comfort of self pity#WOMP WOMP!#I NEED A GUN!!!!#this can’t be all there is. a constant cycle of consuming worries and resentments. like there’s more than that right#anyways if u saw this u did not#unless u can tell me something to help yes it’s a cry for help NO IT ISNT. ahahahaha unless#but it’s not. lol but#nvm#mmmm i should journal again fuck#i feel like i gotta remember im 20. bros a baby and is worrying about largely trivial matters 😂😂😂😂 L bozo + ratio
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lando and oscar wingers i know that’s right
#i kind of can’t tell if this is supposed to be a 4-3-3 or a 4-5-1#i was always really bad at that. tell me where to play and what kind of play and i got u. don’t use fancy words#i’m calling jake hughes and pato outside forwards so i can call lando and oscar wingers#(totally not bc i played there. not at all)#mclaren moment#i’m not tagging all these mfs im sorry#theo as goalie is really funny. how tall is he#oh shit he’s over 6ft? ok!
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I think the fact that u can just get prescribed ssris without being told about side effects to watch out for and then have your dose raised and suddenly have your mental health absolutely tank is. So funny. Absolutely incapable of feeling emotions to the point where all of my relationships are fucked (unable to feel affection/love) my academic career is fucked (unable to feel any sense of urgency towards assignments/attendance) my Everything Is Fucked (unable to gauge emotional well-being until things are actually hazardous) but at least I also can’t feel the Consuming Despair. Giving zombie realness. Going through the motions pilled. Apathymaxxing.
#the emotions are there it’s just like. so disconnected from myself that my body feels it but I don’t?#like my sister was sick and my body was helping and fretting over her and my brain was just like 😑#my parents came to visit and I felt zero emotion#i can barely reach out to people to maintain relationships because I have zero desire to do anything but sit there and do nothing#my brain started drafting a note and I had to be like ohhh wait this is bad isn’t it#what irritates me is like. i thought this was the depression worsening when it started happening. so they increased the dose. which made it#worse. and if I hadn’t looked into it I would probably ask for another increase.#+ also I’m thankfully not a fan of drinking unless it’s socially but the emotions kind of return when drunk so it’s like#i can see how this would be a path to unhealthy habits for people who are prone to drinking more#u know that one tiktok audio that’s like ‘she’s looking at me and telling me she loves me and I just feel nothing’ ‘oh my god shut UP’ it’s#like that. but for everything. literally just trapped in my head talking to myself because I don’t have the energy or desire to speak.#thanks for the emotional blunting Zoloft you truly ruin my life like nothing else#and I can’t even stop taking it because it’ll fuck with my head more. we’re in some dire dire docks boys. minus the sick submarine.
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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