#no one's doing it like them truly

[bleachbleachbleach]

That Time the 9th Division Revolutionized Gotei Dining

When I think about what I most want to see Bleach characters doing, it is either admin, eating, or the most depraved crimes imaginable. And when I think about how I want food to work in the Gotei, my guiding light is what I think would be the most fun. Generally, this means I think the Gotei should be run like a Girl Scout camp.

In general, my headcanon is that:

Like everything else within divisions, how food works really depends on the Division's particular whimsy. But in most divisions, there's a kaper chart and every week you're assigned to a chore in addition to whatever it is shinigami do all day: cooking, various forms of cleaning, etc. (Some divisions choose to outsource much of this to the pros at the 4th.) If you're deployed into the Rukongai hinterlands or the Living World, your kaper duties are either replaced by similar duties within your deployment group, or you're wandering around the Living World solo like some kind of contestant on Alone.

When you're on cooking duty, your group decides what you're capable of cooking in bulk, within budget. This might mean the same rice and soup every meal every day of the week if you get a cooking crew that's not into it. Others are more excited about cooking and sharing things they like. Matsumoto's tenure in the kitchen pre-VCship is somewhat legendary for its inventiveness. Usually, every meal there's just the one option, but some divisions offer a Set Meal A and B, and some have specialties that persist regardless of which shinigami are specifically in the kitchen.

Shinigami usually eat at their own mess halls in their division, but depending on where their duties take them or how far they're willing to travel, they can eat at other divisions for a fee.

These mess halls are separate from the various restaurants in Soul Society, though the restaurants are pricey. (The mess halls aren't FREE per se; you just don't have to pay when you go because a portion of your paycheck is automatically held back for meals. You're paying whether you eat there or not.)

Then there's the 9th. The 9th under Kensei, and then Tousen, and then Kensei again. By Kensei's tenure, the 9th was already well on its way to sub-specializing in multiple ways throughout the division--there's people doing stints in the SC editorial office, people specializing in field assignments in Team Muguruma. And then there's the 9th Division canteen, staffed by shinigami who still work their normal shinigami duties, but work primarily in the kitchens. They've gotten REALLY good at it.

But it's kind of a best-kept secret, because this is what the 9th Division mess hall looks like from the outside:

After being charmed by the incredible curb appeal of the 9th Division mess hall, you walk in and there's a whole wall with different meals you can order, cafeteria-style.

Each has a little slip of paper with the name of your meal and the price!

The "Stamina Don" is a very popular choice for lunching shinigami.

Once you've made your choice, you take it to the shinigami working at the order window:

And when your order is yelled out, you come back to the front and pick up your meal on a tray and grab whatever utensils and toppings you need. As pictured here, Soul SocieTV is playing nonstop in the 9th Mess Hall.

After your meal, you can enjoy some tea on these very Soul Society Approved couches:

Always the sort to embrace idiosyncrasy, the 9th Division mess hall is the only place in all of Soul Society that stocks these elegant Jesus mugs (so they know that you stole it, should a patron happen to "accidentally" walk off with one).

They also stock copies of the SC for your reading pleasure. This edition is extolling the wonderment that is "Smallmouth Disneyland," the Seireitei's annual bass fishing competition.

The 9th likes to keep all of this on the DL, because it's *amazing* that there's a mess in the Seireitei with dedicated cooks (well, their official employment is a 25/75, with 75% cooking and 25% Shinigami Stuff), and so many different options to choose from at every meal, and they don't want it too get too crowded/so popular as to be unsustainable.

Still, there's a small cabal of non-9th division folks in the know (Hisagi's Friends, mostly. Minus Matsumoto), which the 9th is fine with because their patronage = additional revenue for the mess hall, but overall it's probably the only secret in the history of Soul Society anyone has been able to keep successfully.

Ironically, this mess hall is also where Aizen, Tousen, and Ichimaru held a lot of their after-hours secret planning meetings.

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

[becca-e-barnes]

Ma’am, you are deviously incredible 🔥 We’re begging for an exploration of him saying “I love you” while fucking her like he doesn’t 🥹

My brain keeps picking up the storyline a few splendidly torturous hours in when her body’s completely spent & quivering & she’s a blubbering mess & that’s when he picks her up & takes his sweet time positioning her so she can limply yet eagerly watch their reflection has he finally gives her… exactly what her twitching body’s been craving. 🥵

I'm so glad you all enjoyed the thought of this as much as I did because I've been dying to expand on it 😵‍💫 (Part 1 here)

I like to imagine by that stage, he's absolutely desperate too though. He's got to feel your sweet little pussy clench and flutter around him, contracting so tight every time you cum that he swears it's going to be the end of him.

He's been too hard for too long, buried inside your body and he swears he's never felt you this wet or this hot before. It's been fucking luxurious, forcing you to cum against his fingers, feeling how your body's natural reaction is to coax him to drain his balls into you but that alone isn’t enough. He needs more than that.

He wouldn't admit it to you but he can't take any more. His balls feel like they're fizzing; overfull and beyond ready to flood your waiting, overstimulated body.

He arranges you gently, laying you on your front because he doesn't trust your trembling arms to support you. "That's it, good girl." He coos, hearing you whimper and sob pathetically because he needs to slip out of you to slide a pillow under your hips.

"You've made such a mess." He groans, taking a second to appreciate the delicious, inviting, slick little cunt he's about to indulge in. "You're dripping, sweetheart. God, I just know there's no way I'm going to be able to pull out."

His huge hands are gripping your hips and with one sharp, brutal thrust, he's back inside you and you both sob pathetically at the feeling of your bodies being joined again. This is exactly what you've needed but you don't have the words to tell him that. All you can do is whine and will your body not to cum again so soon.

"I meant. What I said earlier." He punctuates his sentence with soft groans, drawing back until he almost slips out of you before pounding back in.

He leans forward, tilting your chin up, making sure you can see the way he's fucking you in the mirror at the end of the bed.

"I love you. And I don't want you to forget that." He sounds sincere, one hand trailing up from the small of your back to right between your shoulder blades and then back down again. It feels intimate and tender but all that is forgotten by the very next thrust.

"I love you. But for now, you're just a mindless. Little. Drooling. Breedable. Cunt for me." He slows his thrusts down, determined not to cum so soon but it's going to be difficult to last until he gets the first couple of loads out of the way.

"Baby..." You whimper, feeling the tip of his cock nudge against your sweet spot, making you shake from overstimulation.

"I know sweetheart, I know. It's too much. But you're being so good for me. You're so perfect. How have no idea how you feel. So wet and warm and I can feel you fluttering around my cock. It's like you're trying to squeeze every last drop of cum out of me. Is that what you want? Because angel, I'll keep this delicious cunt stuffed full of load after load until I have nothing left to give you."

His thrusts are punishingly fast, thumping against your raised ass, half chasing his orgasm, half holding it back.

"And when I do, I'll remind you just how much I love you. And the baby I'm going to give you tonight."

With that thought, he can't stop himself from cumming, his dick twitching inside you as he shoots thick ropes of his seed right against your cervix. You're so cock-drunk you can only rut yourself millimetres back and forth but that's all you need to send yourself spiralling into another orgasm that leaves you trembling and sobbing.

"Fuck, you want that as much as I do, don't you?" He kisses the back of your neck, breathing you in while letting the euphoric rush subside. He notices he hasn't softened in the slightest despite such an intense orgasm but he knows he needs to be gentle with you for a moment before he can get any rougher.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[halorvic]

[skitskatdacat63]

Who's your bias? Mine's Vettel!

[siriusly-the-best-bi]

wow so I have like 3 analysis in progress that touch on this topic but I really need to just talk about it rn with its own spotlight.

Aziraphale has this entire life that he's built for himself on earth, after armageddon he's thriving. When we catch up with him in Season 2 his first scene is literally him going to check in with one of his tenants, and throughout the season we see that he has a decent relationship with nearly Everyone on the block. He has an entire life for himself all hashed out and pretty.

Crowley... does not. His cold open in Season 2 is back in St. James park, checking in with Shax, finding out the gossip on Hell. He doesn't have his apartment, he only has his Bentley and the few plants he could fit in it. He doesn't have any other human friendships. His entire life and everything he loves to do is built entirely around Aziraphale.

This is something that I just find so fucking thrilling because when it comes to their characters and where exactly they are in their arcs right now, it's essentially like looking into a mirror.

Aziraphale knows exactly who he is when he's on his own. He nurtures his own relationships with humans he sees often, he's a nice landlord, he loves books and classical music, and hot cocoa. But, Aziraphale still holds onto the ideals of heaven. He still cares about doing good and being forgiving. He still cowers and jumps at the opportunity to help heaven, not because he wants to but because he's supposed to because he's still an angel.

Crowley has nothing. He has his car, which he drives to a secluded location to park every night, only to drive it right back in the morning. He's only even vaguely recognizable because people associate him with Aziraphale and this is fine for him, he could care less. He doesn't really need to know who he is or process his traumas, why would he when he can put all his attention and focus and love and care directly into Aziraphale? His friend, who has always been his friend, the one person who has always stood by him. Who cares about heaven and hell, he has Aziraphale.

When we finally see them on their own and without the influences of their head offices, we see the opposite of what we'd expect, and nearly the opposite of the outcome we see in episode 6. Crowley is the one constantly checking in with Hell (wether he likes it or not), and Aziraphale is the one who's living care free without even thinking about heaven. When he does something good that he wants to report, he just calls Crowley.

this whole dance of Crowley not knowing who he is without Aziraphale and Aziraphale knowing who he is fundamentally but not knowing how to break free from the confines of Heaven that stop him from truly embracing Crowley in the end, it's just so delicious.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

gukgak specifically from my typing (man w/ three jobs & a creeping sense of dread)

[sittinginsunflowers]

I know we’ve been begging for a Murph DM season for years now and I would still kill to see it but idk man I think we’ve been dropping the ball. Something about Zac Oyama behind that screen looked right

[b-blushes]

i <3 planners/journals/scrapbooks

[izzyspussy]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Words Collide

[First] Prev <--> Next

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

[pogostikk]

SHREK AUDIO

[dogboots]

normal about these two...