#no references baybeeeee

[frillsand]

✨As Above✨🌤️

These two have done no wrong, ever and I love them

I am also a fan of Honeylamb’s toy collection. I think Clarice is the best 🌸

You are loved 🌷

[doublesidedgemini]

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US followers, sending you love and strength today!!! Be kind to yourselves, do what you can, try to enjoy today if at all possible 💖

I’ll be busy today but my ask/inbox are open if anyone needs a pal :) (this goes for all the time actually send me messages I love getting them)

[technicoloryuri]

the progestersteroneens hits different after taking my estrogen

[dream0fschism]

GIVE US SOME JEALOUS!GRAVES BAYBEEEEE

it's just a little something..

hope u like it <3

It wasn't often that your boyfriend involved you with his associates, so when he'd mentioned going for a few drinks and invited you, of course you were more than happy to tag along.

For the duration of the night something had been off about Phillip, you couldn't help but notice it in the way his eyes burned into the head of every mouth that opened in your direction.

You knew it was the final straw when a joke was directed to you from Johnny, who they'd referred to often as 'Soap'.

"Aye.. I mean sweetheart, if he's willing to share I'd be all in!"

It was absolutely harmless, you knew, but there was an undeniable look slowly creeping its way over your boyfriend's features that told you things would quickly go south if you didn't intervene.

You'd noticed the hand Phillip had on his glass had visibly tightened around the rim, knuckles white and telltale of the internal rage letting loose inside of him.

"Well I think it's time we got going, honestly," you sighed, after throwing a faint smile towards Soap. *I'm tired, Phil." You turned towards your partner, placing a comforting hand onto his shoulder and giving a squeeze. "Can we go?"

It would all come out when you get home, but Phillip would never direct any of his furiousity towards you, never blamed you for the way he thinks and feels about things.

"I don't even fuckin' like him and he knows it. That is exactly why he did what he did."

When you assure him that mulling over such things is pointless, that you're his and only his and any external parties just didn't matter, he'd calm a little. But there was something still sticking to his chest that he had to shake off.

He presses you into the soft sheets of your shared bed whilst he suckles at the flesh of your neck just under your ear, runs his palms under the skirt of your dress and ruffles it up to expose your bottom half.

Between kisses, he mutters. "He knows you're mine and that he can never have you himself. Knows that I'd put him down like the fuckin' dog he is if he tried anything."

Phillip smoothes strands of hair from over your face before he lifts himself to lock your eyes. "You're all for me, baby. You know that, don't you?"

You'd nod wordlessly, reaching down to stroke at his shirt-clad, toned stomach in invitation.

"Oh no, not yet," he'd purr, snatching one side of your face in between his digits. "Words, baby. You know I want a real answer."

"Yes, Phillip," you'd whine, wrapping your legs around his middle to anchor him in closer.

After that, he'd fuck you senseless. It would be rough, but still completely sensual. He'd fuck you from behind, pulling you back by the hair as he did so and stroking a free hand across your stomach as he pumped into you. He loves it because he can growl into your ear, completely and utterly possessive as he reassures you just who you belong to.

[twstunes]

quick guide to the differences when summoning in TWST

This post is definitely not comprehensive lmao, I'm sure someone has figured out the exact correlation between the feathers/Dark Mirror lines by now.

If you have any info not shown here, feel free to add on!

Grim

The initial cutscene showing the outside of NRC will not change UNLESS you are about to summon a SSR card, upon which there's a very, very small chance Grim will show up.

Grim will always show up at an obligatory SSR card summon (100th summon). Not sure if he shows up at an obligatory event SSR card summon (200th summon), but he probably does?

^pic of the lad for reference

Feathers

At least one feather will fall past the screen right before the Dark Mirror appears. From what I've seen, they seem to correlate to the overall rarity of a summon.

Single feather

Single summon: R card

x10 summon: 9 R cards and 1 obligatory SR card

NOTE: Seemingly will not appear during a x10 summon if the result includes either: at least 2 SR cards, or at least 1 SSR card

Two feathers

Single summon: SR or SSR card

x10 summon: At least 1 SR or SSR card (aside from the obligatory SR or SSR card)

NOTE: Seemingly will always appear during a x10 summon so long as the result includes either: at least 2 SR cards, or at least 1 SSR card

Dark Mirror

The Dark Mirror will have different scenes depending on the rarity of the summon.

"You, whose image the Dark Mirror did beckon forth…"

ONLY green sparkles in the background

Single summon: R card

x10 summon: 9 R cards and 1 obligatory SR card

NOTE 1: This sequence can play during a x10 summon if the result includes multiple SR cards but no SSR cards (two feathers will fall past the screen beforehand)

NOTE 2: This sequence seemingly will not play for a x10 summon if the result includes any SSR cards

"Reveal unto me the nature of your soul!"

Green and purple sparkles in the background

Single summon: SR card

x10 summons: At least 1 SR card (in addition to the obligatory SR or SSR card)

NOTE 1: This sequence will only play during a x10 summon if the result includes more than the obligatory SR card

NOTE 2: During a x10 summon, there is a nonzero (but rare) chance of summoning a SSR card despite getting this sequence

"Bearer of dark powers, I call thee forth!"

Green, purple, yellow, and red sparkles in the background

Single summon: SSR card time baybeeeee

x10 summon: At least 1 SSR card

NOTE 1: You will always get this sequence during an obligatory SSR card summon

NOTE 2: As you can probably guess, you will always get this sequence if Grim appears during the previous cutscene

NOTE 3: This sequence seems to be guaranteed during a x10 summon IF the result includes at least 2 SSR cards

Other details of note:

During the coffin unlocking scene, purple & green sparkles will appear around the keyhole if the summon is a SR or SSR card. R cards will only have pale yellow sparkles.

A SSR summon will have a lavishly-decorated coffin. R & SR summons have almost no decorations on their coffins.

Like during the Dark Mirror sequences, the sparkles behind each coffin will change according to the rarity of the summon. Green sparkles mean a R card, green/purple sparkles mean a SR card, and green/purple/red/yellow sparkles mean a SSR card.

[lena--beana]

Damn I can't believe Sam Deats read my journal and made Castlevania Nocturne specifically for me with everything I could have wanted from a Rondo/Symphony story but like

Oh my GOD??????????

Olrox getting main billing after being my favorite one-off villain with one (1) boss fight with no build-up and never reappearing, they were really like "yeah let's make him the hottest motherfucker in the world and make him even cooler while we're at it"

Richter and Maria's character designs are 😘👌 perfection! I loved how Maria had her classic hairdo with her nightgown too and watching Richter put the bandana on for the first time with goddamn "Divine Bloodlines" playing like????

And Richter doing the Grand Cross??? And his flame whip????? The 1000 blades technique against the marquis?????? Maria using so many of her animal friends and caring so much about each of them sweet child oh my goodness

Not to mention the way I screamed louder for Juste than Alucard bc let's be real baby vampire boy was always going to come back but I had NO faith that they would even look at my boy JB and especially Maxim?? Even in passing I'm so touched holy shit. And I see that red coat on the foot of his bed, I know my angry grandpa's coming back 👀👀

But speaking of Alucard I adore this redesign, the little cravat telling me they're at least trying to give him his Symphony look instead of the t-shirt in the last show is a nice touch but that porcelain doll look is killer and I'm all here for it 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Also everything about Annette oh my lord?? Giving her anything besides just being a damsel in distress like before but everything about her backstory had me on the edge of my seat and I LOVED watching her trap the plantation owner in a cage before the end

Loved getting to see Countess Bathory since we're never getting a Bloodlines anime, the succubus who took me way too long to realize she wasn't just a unique vampire like I had every clue thrown in my face from the fit to the nails and she even admitted to haunting men's dreams and I didn't figure it out til the second she grew wings 😭 glad Alucard still got to finish her off but I'm sad we probably won't get that scene with Lisa again (which probably wouldn't happen since Drac isn't back anyway so there wouldn't be much point)

Can I just talk about Olrox some more bc like??? This guy had NOTHING before the show, he was a fuckin Nosferatu reference and now they gave him all this history, they kept all of his abilities and the dragon transformation?? Plus the beautiful purple and gold suit and those piercing green eyes I love one (1) man and its this fucker I need WAY more of him next time around 👀👀👀👀👀

And yes absolutely I'm excited for next time, we're picking up right where Rondo starts, Father Abbott as a stand-in for Shaft and Tera immediately being turned, the city about to burn like? Are we gonna see Death again?? Do we get to watch Richter fight the Behemoth next season? Is Abbott going to totally lose his mind and bring back Dracula to stop Bathory? Since Alucard is here from the start and not after a time skip do we get to see the Inverted Castle? We already got so much that I would have called a million to one chance but anything's possible now we are SO back baybeeeee

[aspisera]

(Updated 04/20/24) (mm/dd/yy)

READ THIS AND THE CARRD IF YOU'RE NEW HERE

AU TAGS:

#SINSS!AU (this is a Deltarune HORROR AU)

#Titans!AU - A Deltarune AU of mine that assigns the DR main cast (Azzy and Dess included) as stars with Titan influence.

—

Hey, I'm Aspisera. You can call me Asp/Aspen or Atlas if you'd like.

He/They pronouns. Go crazy with it. Just never refer to me with anything feminine unless it's a joke (AND YOU MAKE IT INCREDIBLY CLEAR THAT IT IS ONE).

I'm employed and have various mental issues so you're just gonna have to be patient with original art.

I like horror/horror movies. I really like Hereditary and I'm a sucker for the first Scream film.

I like midwest emo/emo, metal, grunge, and electronic (though I am a bit picky when it comes to that). ALSO!!! Anything that Jhariah has made is instantly a brain-buzz; all of it sounds so fucking good.

I also have a soft-spot for musicals and theater (like Waitress and Ride The Cyclone). I really love Something Rotten!

—

Most of my art will be Deltarune/Undertale-based but if you like Over The Garden Wall... I post that sometimes too.

—

This is my art signature. You see this anywhere on any piece on any site with anyone who claims my shit as theirs, you tell me in the askbox.

—

My reblogs are on this blog as well (at least the ones that aren't too much. aka you will see NO NSFW on this blog.)

(Original art tag is below in "TAGS" section)

Mutuals feel free to message me.

—

TAGS:

All art I reblog is tagged with their respective fandoms

If it's art/picture of an animal then the post is tagged with the animal.

#cuppy dog city!!! - The only exception to the animal tags (all dogs baybeeeee!!!!).

#asp's fanwork - Art of mine that's related to fandoms (Active 11/17/23).

#I ate mold today - Art of mine that's not related to any fandoms (usually is related to me/mutuals).

#aspen sound off - I answer what you send me.

#fly in the blinds - txt post tag (active 1/16/24)

#asp got tagged - People tag me in stuff (like picrew chains). This is what I use to respond.

#EATS AT MY BRAIN - probably the only post(s) that will pull me back in with my core-fandom once more if I ever fall out of it (this tag is mostly for me lol).

[thydungeongal]

Mutants in the Making

Step #3: You’re Good At…

Previously on Mutants in the Making:

Step #1: Getting Together

Step #2: Cursing Your Dice

Current Takebacks: 5/6

Attributes in Mutants in the Now work a lot like what you would expect from a post-D&D 3e game, with a few differences: instead of the classic six there are eight (Cognition, Determination, Affinity, Perception, Strength, Prowess, Endurance, Speed), they are rolled with a straight 4d6 instead of 3d6 or 4d6 drop the lowest, and while they modify combat rolls on the exact same d20 scale (your Prime Mod) as in your D&Ds 3e and onwards, they also have other effects which reveal the game's Palladium inspirations. Observe:

Skills use a d% system. Skill gains are also based on your attribute. Damage modifiers are expressed as dice, not flat modifiers. And finally, low rolls will result in extra GOO-P (the resource used for mutations), with high rolls actually deducting GOO-P!

Since the average on a 4d6 is 14, the most average result is a +2 Prime Mod, 58% skill base, +3% skill gain, 1d10 damage dice, and +6 GOO-P. This is not exactly the same as in Palladium games to my knowledge, but the combination of various different scales seems like a nod towards that era of design.

Anyway, let's roll.

Cognition 16, Determination 16, Affinity 14, Perception 16, Strength 11, Prowess 12, Endurance 19, Speed 13

Looking at what these attributes do, the one's that stand out as above the norm are Cognition, Determination, Perception, and Endurance. Strength is under the average, but I'm still happy with that. Let's find out what those stats do:

This is pretty normal stuff. So, our character is tough, smart, willful, perceptive. Not particularly strong. I can live with this. I'll keep my Takebacks for later.

At this point we also get an explanation of some terminology: when the game text refers to an attribute by its full name (like Endurance) it refers to the actual ability score what we just rolled. When referred to by its abbreviated form (like +END) it refers to the Prime Mod. So, while our Endurance is 19, our +END is +4.

We should also add up our GOO-P here! +4 +4 +6 +4 +9 +8 +1 +7 yields us 43 starting GOO-P! We'll be getting some more in the next Step, which I can hardly wait for, because it's tables time, baybeeeee

GOO-P: 43

[thatlittleegyptologist]

ok this is a long and geeky ask but i was pitching a chapter to an anthology of horror essays recently on portrayal of different mythologies in horror and it came up that egyptian myth specifically has a really clear divide between what its associated with in horror vs in other genres, where in (mostly western) horror it's very much focused around a like, tacit fear of longevity and vengeance for colonialism; but in non-horror fiction egyptian mythology seems to bring in tropes of control, possession, internal division. and i have been Trying to work out whether this stems from like, victorian mummy stuff (TM), whether there's an original element to 'egyptian possession stories', a colleague suggested it might come from greek writings on egyptian religion-- can you think of anywhere i might find some early examples if they exist at all? is this a thing?

A lot of it, and I do want to emphasise a lot, will be orientalism, racism, and othering on behalf of the Victorians. It's where most of the 'spooky bullshit' about Ancient Egypt comes from because Egyptology was still a new field, most stuff was largely unknown, had no cultural reference or still in the process of being translated (which didn't help the cultural reference bit), and then you've got all the Egyptologists who were also part of the occult muddying the waters. It ends up as a really bad time.

When looking things up, many places seemed to suggest that the Voyage of Wenamun had an element of possession by an evil force. This was strange to me, since I've translated that work before and...there definitely wasn't any possession in it. The passage most often referenced was one where the god (Amun) seizes a Soothsayer from Byblos (aDdjw-aA is a semitic loan word and only attested to this text. hapax legomenon baybeeeee) from a group of soothsayers and caused him to become xAwt 'ecstatic'. Amun then asks the man to bring the idol of a specific form of Amun known as 'Amun of the Way'. Then it says the man who has been made xAwt 'ecstatic' (another hapax legomenon! This word appears in no other Egyptian texts) rests a night and waits on the boat with Wenamun. He is not mentioned again as Wenamun has a lengthy argument with the Prince. This is written in rubric, which is used by the Egyptians to either denote something of importance, or with literary texts (as this is) used to denote a new part/scene. There's no real explanation for why Amun does this, and I'm not sure it counts as 'possession', it feels more like Amun appeared to a priest and the priest was like 'HOLY SHIT IT'S AMUN!' and did as he was asked but with the joy of having spoken to a god. It's not clear, and I'd not be comfortable labelling this as possession in the way we'd define it.

The Egyptians have 'ghost' tales, but again they're not quite how we picture ghosts. Since we're discussing horror themes, I'll leave the link to an ask I did about 5-6 years ago now on ghosts in Ancient Egypt.

'Possession', does sort of occur as an Egyptian narrative but not in the way we'd recognise it. Most of the time they'll talk about someone who has become ill as someone who has become possessed by a malign entity (older sources say 'demons', but that's not accurate). The Bentresh stele is another text I've seen people reference as an example of Egyptian possession, where a woman becomes ill and is therefore 'possessed'. This is where I'll leave it so @rudjedet can explain her specialism and I wouldn't want to rob her of the joy of infodumping.

So that's all I've got on 'possession' in Ancient Egypt. I'm sorry it's not a lot, and I don't know any Ptolemaic/Greek sources (aside from maybe the Bentresh stele) that talk about possession. I know @cryptotheism has been looking at Greek magical papyri as part of their work, so maybe they'll have something that might help.

[spacenintendogs]

A bit related to your httyd pride requests but

What are your headcanons about how the httyd beans identify? Your takes are always the best <333

*spits into hands and rubs them together*

alright lads i'm just doing this for the main 6 dragon riders to keep it simple SO HERE WE GO!! explanations/further details under the read more!

hiccup outwardly says that he is heterosexual/heteroromantic, however he is curious & keeps those thoughts more to himself outside of confiding in astrid, esp bc most of his curiosity is from fishlegs & maybe down the line he'll say he's bi or pan but not right now. also says he's a cisman but if someone calls him "they" he's not mad abt it (still feels like a man tho)

astrid is def bi!!!!!! the way she has chemistry with everybody at some point but her attraction to hiccup & heather is soooooooooooooo.... bi.... she's bi!! it takes her a while to come to terms with it bc it doesn't feel like it's "correct" but she accepts it & is happier for it!! also she is cis & does mind if someone refers to her as "they/them" but isn't going to be rude abt it. she gets it.

ruffnut is the most confident & has no issues exploring her sexuality & identity. she prefers the pansexual label & likes using she & they for pronouns. she's also polyamorous. life's too short & she's going to just go with it & have a good time!!! also the one who wants to help the others in exploring what they can do & who they can be!!

fishlegs is bi/pan!! (heather & hiccup rlly just get ppl's gears going, huh?) he uses he/him most of the time but do he's agender & wants to use neopronouns too & only does so with hiccup bc xe's nervous to tell the others even tho they'd be w/e abt it. he's cool with he/him tho. any pronouns that aren't she/her are cool! (neopronouns used most often are xe/xem)

snotlout is bisexual. bicon. he is also a trans man baybeeeee!!!! he transitioned at a young age & literally no one cared abt it. spitelout is actually his no. 1. supporter in this regard & snotlout holds that very dearly. however sometimes snotlout does feel a draw to being more feminine & this bothers him bc he feels like he's transitioned to being a man why does he feel this way?? it bothers him that sometimes he still wants to be feminine (does not like using they/them for himself... but perhaps bigender...)

tuffnut 2 me says demisexual biromantic... i don't think he's searching to be with anyone, but that doesn't mean nothing happens when he gets close with someone. he goes with the flow & feels sexual attraction after he has an emotional bond. he's willing to romantically be with anyone if it happens, too. also non-binary like ruff but prefers he/they. once again, life is too short & he's more willing to openly explore that part of him compared to the others.

[the-cult-of-riley]

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act One: Chapter Twenty Two)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N: He’s finally back baybeeeee!

Simon’s out here making moves in this one. It's pretty long and a complete rollercoaster of emotions. I could have split this one into two chapters but I’m lazy so… lmao

Also, Mard means being a whiny little baby, just for reference. 

Placebo - English Summer Rain

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes

English summer rain seems to last for ages

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes

English summer rain seems to last for ages

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky

I'm in the basement baby, drop on by

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky

I'm in the basement baby, drop on by

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes

English summer rain seems to last for ages

Always stays the same, nothing ever changes

English summer rain seems to last for ages

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky

I'm in the basement baby, drop on by

I'm in the basement, you're in the sky

I'm in the basement baby, drop on by

Hold your breath and count to ten

Then fall apart and start again

Hold your breath and count to ten

Start again, start again

Hold your breath and count to ten

Then fall apart and start again

Simon's body felt like it weighed a tonne. He leaned against the elevator wall, eyes closed as he fought an exhaustion so deep, it clawed at his insides. The last ten months had been more gruelling than anything he'd ever done, but it was done now. He'd done it. The pride he felt tugging in his chest was almost overwhelming and he couldn't wait to see Lottie. She obviously knew he made it, but he wanted to tell her how well he did, wanted her to be proud of him. 

God, he'd missed her. Being away from her with zero contact had been worse than the RTI training and he couldn't wait to get inside and grab her. He wondered how she'd been these past months, if she was alright. He'd been planning on ringing his mum to let her know he was back and asking how Charlotte had been, yet he'd been far too tired. It was only 9.43 pm but he hadn't slept in what felt like forever. The training had ended and he'd been shoved right back on a plane back for his leave before it started for real.

His muscles were firmer, bigger, than before he left. He hadn't been out of shape in the least but all this training had toned him up even more. He wondered if Lottie would like it or not, wondered a lot about what went on in her head. As the lift doors opened, he breathed a sigh of relief before stepping out and trudging his way to their apartment. The second he'd got on the plane, he'd been itching to just get home, get in bed with Lottie all to himself so he could fall asleep with her in his arms again finally. He'd had to make one stop before getting home but now he was here. 

His lips quirked up as he saw the Halloween decorations on the door. A little spooky wreath with pumpkins and ghosts, a real carved pumpkin with a lit candle just outside the door to the right. There was still a couple of days until Halloween but clearly, his girl had been busy. He eased the door open slowly, instantly being greeted by music. Placebo. He tried to place the song and it didn't hit him until he heard some lyrics. English Summer Rain. 

He looked around, seeing Charlotte in the kitchen area in one of his t-shirts and either tiny shorts or just her knickers, he couldn't tell. She was messing about with something in the oven, her body dancing about a bit to the music. He watched her with an amused smirk as she took a tray out of the oven and heavily set it on the counter. The smell drifted over to him and he almost groaned at the delicious cinnamon smell. She was singing along, swaying her hips and having a good time. It was such a lovely sight to come home to and he wanted to burn it into his brain for the rest of his days.

She turned around, yelping loudly with a hand flying to her chest as he watched her with a fond grin. It took her a moment for her brain to register what she was seeing but then her eyes widened, a face splitting grin on her lips before she squealed and ran around the counter. He dropped his duffle bag just in time to catch her, lifting her up as her legs wrapped around his waist. 

He felt the same feeling he had after getting home with his last deployment, like his thirst was being quenched after being denied water for far too long. He held her close, greedily inhaling her scent as he nuzzled the side of her face. She pulled her head away to look down at him and his heart felt like it expanded in size at the look she gave him. She gripped either side of his face with her small hands, looking at him like she wasn't sure he was real. 

“Hello, love,” he murmured and her eyes turned glassy, her smile watery. 

“I missed you,” she didn't give him time to respond because her lips were then on his. He sighed softly, body relaxing as he kissed her back and enjoyed the comfort it brought him. When she pulled away, he couldn't tear his eyes off her.

“I missed you too,” he breathed, glad to be finally back with her. “Somethin’ smells good,” he commented, his stomach growling at the sweet scent filling the apartment. 

“Cinnamon rolls, your mum taught me how to make them,” a deep and steadying warmth wrapped around him at her words, something tugging in his chest at the idea of his mum being here and taking care of her, of teaching her things. She looked so proud of herself too. She wriggled until he let her go and he instantly felt the loss of her against him, watching as she rushed over to the kitchen. 

“Sit down, I’ll be over in a minute,” she smiled over her shoulder at him and he complied simply because he felt ready to pass out. He groaned as the couch swallowed him whole, sinking deeper into the cushions as his body started to relax thoroughly. She came over not too long later with a cinnamon roll in her hand and a can of Guinness. He raised a brow at her with an amused smile and she snorted, handing them over to him.

“Didn’t know when you’d be back, figured I'd get some in for you,” she explained sheepishly. 

“Appreciate it, love,” he murmured, popping the can open and taking a long swig of it with a content sigh. He took a large bite of the cinnamon roll, eyes practically rolling back into his head with how amazing it tasted. 

“Good then?” she asked hopefully and he nodded eagerly, munching the rest of it easily.

“Perfect,” he hummed, licking the icing off his fingers that was still wet. He presumed she’d just put it on when she was in the kitchen. She beamed a smile at him, so pretty it fucking hurt him. That smile was the only thing in his mind when the SAS was putting him through the ringer, making sure he wouldn't spill his secrets to the enemy. He knew he was strong willed, growing up with an abusive father would do that to you, but she’d strengthened his resolve even more. She’d helped him get through the whole ordeal, the prospect of getting back to her and making her proud driving him on.

“How did it go then? Was it hard? Did they hurt you?” she asked, hovering so close she might as well be on top of him, not that he’d complain at all. 

“Was alright, bit rough but I got through it. Made it through top five,” he couldn't help the pride in his voice knowing not only did he get through, but he ranked high up enough to get noticed. Her face lit up with a wide smile and his pride flared even more. 

“I knew you could do it!” she grinned and his heart stuttered in his chest. She leaned over, pressing her lips to his sweetly, making him melt all over again. When she pulled away, her eyes scanned his tired face as he blinked slowly at her and she smiled sweetly at him, taking the can from his hand and putting it on the coffee table.

“You wanna go to bed? You look shattered,” she murmured, her hand running through his short hair and making him shiver slightly. Part of him wanted to protest because he’d only just got home, felt like he’d spent no time with her. He was tired though and laying in bed with her wrapped around him sounded divine right about now. He had plans for the next day anyway and he knew he needed the rest.

“Sounds good, love,” he smiled and she nodded as she got up. She was already ready for bed and he stripped off to just his boxers before heavily flopping into bed. She wasted no time crawling in beside him, giggling when he snaked his arms around her and pulled her to lay her head on his chest. She wrapped a leg around him and he felt an overwhelming comfort at feeling her pressed against him like this. The last ten months had been hell trying to sleep without her.

“I love you so much,” he muttered sleepily, feeling her smile against his chest.

“I love you too,” she replied softly, snuggling closer to him. Having her so close, being able to feel her, smell her, it soothed all of his fried nerves and his body finally felt safe, finally felt okay to relax and let go. He drifted off to sleep easily, better than he had in months. 

“Riley, CO wants you.”

Simon looked over at the man who he couldn't seem to place, someone a little higher up than he was here. He nodded, wondering what he’d done to call the attention of his superior, hoping he hadn’t fucked up somehow since he was new here. He’d felt secure in his place in the army, knowing his squad and his CO there well. This was different and it was strange to be back at the start all over again, even if he was still ranked as a Sergeant. He made his way to his CO’s office, back straight, head held high. He was pretty sure he hadn’t messed up so he wondered what he wanted, hoped it wasn't about a deployment so soon. Lottie would kill him. 

He knocked on the wooden door and heard the man tell him to come in. He walked inside, standing at the other side of the desk, looking at the older man with greying hair.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” he asked, feeling a pinch of nerves when the man frowned in a weird way. A pitying way.

“Sit down, son,” he ordered and something in his tone set Simon on edge, so much so that he ignored his CO’s order. 

“What is it?” he asked warily and the man heaved a sigh, running a hand over his weary face.

“You need to go to the hospital. They called and need you to identify a body,” he informed him and suddenly, Simon's world stopped turning. A body. Someone was dead.

“Who is it? My mum? Is it Charlotte?” he asked rapidly, swaying on his feet as his blood pressure skyrocketed. His CO stood up, rushing over to him and steadying him where he stood.

“They wouldn't tell me, Simon, I’m sorry. You just need to get over there,” he frowned sadly and Simon was sure he’d throw up. 

Everything was a blur. One minute he was in his CO’s office, the next he was standing in the hallway of the hospital. He wasn't sure how he even got here, his brain completely shutting down on him. The sign on the door in front of him said morgue and his chest caved in, ragged with his rough breathing. He pushed the door open, his lower lip wobbling at the table lay out there, someone under a sheet. He couldn't breathe, pitiful noises leaving his lips as he took slow steps towards the sheet. 

“Are you ready, Mr Riley?” he looked up, seeing a woman in a hospital uniform giving him a sad look, standing at the head of the body. He wanted to say no, wanted to tell her he couldn’t face knowing whoever was under there was dead, because no matter who it was, it would ruin him. He nodded his head though, needing to know. She pulled the sheet down, revealing his precious angel and the noise he made was that of a wounded animal. 

“No… no, no, no,” he wept, stumbling over to her as he shook his head frantically. She looked so peaceful as she lay there, serene, as if she was in a deep sleep. She couldn't be dead, she couldn't be, it wasn't fair. Deep gut wrenching sobs ripped out of his throat as he cradled her face. Her skin was ice cold and he internally begged her to wake up, for it all to be a dream. 

“Come on, Simon, what you being mard for?” a rough voice asked him and he tearfully whipped around to see none other than his weathered father standing there. Something was very wrong though because Simon had to look up to see him, not down at him like the last time he’d seen him. He frowned in confusion, turning back to the table with Lottie on it, only to be a few foot shorter. He yelped, a hard hand gripping the back of his neck harshly and jostling his body.

“Stop your whinin’, you stupid boy! Laugh!” his father bellowed, shoving him closer to the body of his beloved. 

“Dad, no! Stop!” he pleaded, his voice nothing like that he was used to, not anymore. His dad pressed his face against Charlotte’s, only now she didn't look serene, she didn't look peaceful. Her dead eyes were wide open in terror, mouth contorted in an unnatural way. He started yelling, pushing back the hold his dad had on him as his dad started to laugh like a man deranged. 

“Stop it! Please, stop!” he begged, tears streaming down his face as he couldn't fight against his fathers hold on him, couldn't get away.

He flew up with a heaving gasp, his lungs burning and his body on fire. There was a loud pitch ringing in his ears and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Suddenly, he felt hands grabbing at him, making him panic and lurch away. It caused him to fall off his side of the bed with a thud. He blinked slowly at the dark ceiling and then squinted when the bedroom light came to life with no warning. The ringing in his ears started to subside, his breathing regulating a little, but then Charlotte came into view, peering down at him in concern and he felt shame and embarrassment worm its way so deep inside of him that it was rotting his bones. 

A nightmare, of course it was. Or more like a nightmare mixed with a memory. How fucked was that then? He'd not had a single nightmare since he'd started his relationship with Charlotte, since the very first night they fucking met. It had been a pure relief for him, reprieve from the torment that always seemed to plague him. She'd made it all better, taken away his past pain, but now they decided to start back up. 

He knew why, he wasn't fucking stupid. The stress of his SAS training had cracked his fucking dome in, ripped down the walls that Charlotte had so lovingly put up for him to keep his nightmares at bay. The nightmare might not have been about the torture he endured in training but he knew that's what triggered it. 

It wasn't that he did badly, in fact he passed with flying colours unlike some of the other hopefuls that wound up too traumatised to carry on. But it was brutal and there wasn't a single SAS soldier alive who could say they came out of that training without some mental fucking scars. It had ripped barely healed wounds right open for him and he felt so disgusted with himself. He felt weak and it was only made worse by the barely concealed pity in his girl's eyes. He never wanted her to look at him like that. Like she felt fucking sorry for him. He was better than this, stronger. 

“Are you okay?” She asked sweetly, her voice low and calm like she was talking to a spooked animal. It poked at the raw wound pulsating in his chest and he felt an uncomfortable heat building inside of him. She held her hand out for him and he ignored it as he hopped to his feet. He could feel his face burning in shame as he refused to look at her.

“I'm fine,” he bit out, needing desperately to get away from her and those sad blue eyes. He started stomping off and out of the room, hearing her rushed footsteps behind him. 

“Simon…“ she murmured, pity and worry coating her words like she didn't know what to say and he couldn't take it. 

“I said I'm fuckin' fine! Just leave it!” He snapped, rushing into the bathroom and slamming the door so hard, the mirror above the sink wobbled. 

Regret hit him like a freight train instantly at talking to her like that and he gripped the edge of the sink, lowering his head as he heaved ragged breaths. She didn't deserve that, she just wanted to help him. Had a heart of fucking gold and he just ripped it to shreds. He hated himself. Hated himself more when he heard a pitiful sniffle from outside the door where he'd left her and his chest felt like it was caving in on himself. What a bastard he was, just like his dad. The rage flowed through him to such a degree it worried him, the urge to punch the mirror and shatter the useless piece of shit staring back at him. He pushed it down though, taking long and deep breaths as he tried to allow the feelings to pass. His poor sweet girl. Fuck. 

He scrubbed at his eyes, feeling sick when he found them damp and he shook his head. It wasn't her fault his father had been a mean bastard. Wasn't her fault that even though he wasn't a weak boy anymore that his past still haunted him. He didn't want to be that monster, didn't want to be his fucking father. He was better than that, he knew he was. He still felt that lingering grief at losing her that his nightmare had evoked. It felt so real, that loss of her, so harrowing he knew he’d fucking off himself if that ever happened. His life wouldn't be worth living. 

With a shaky breath and heavy chest, he pushed open the bathroom door. As he walked out, he saw Charlotte in the kitchen in only his shirt that swamped her. Her back was to him as she fussed over a cup and he noticed it was his cup, she didn't have one. He'd bit her head off and here she was, making him a fucking brew. And he knew before he even said anything she was blaming herself, somehow justifying his bullshit as her fault, that she deserved it and it made him feel nasty inside. Made him feel like a vile cunt for contributing to her already ruined self esteem. She hadn't noticed him as she stirred the tea and his heart clenched when her spare hand wiped quickly at her eyes. 

“Love…” he murmured contritely, shame weighing on him heavily only this time it was less to do with embarrassing himself. She whipped around to look at him and he wanted to strangle himself at her red rimmed and glassy eyes. 

“Are you-” she started as if on instinct but then her mouth clamped shut like she didn't want another earful off him. It made his shoulders slump as he carefully approached her. “I-I made you tea,” she muttered with a wobbly voice, forcing a smile for him as she grabbed the cup. He winced, eyes burning as he blinked quickly. 

“I'm sorry,” he breathed tearfully, his voice cracking as he looked at her and how unsure she seemed to be around him. She looked at him and then the cup still in her hands, shifting on her feet. 

“It's okay, you were going through stuff,” she shrugged with a shake of her head and he frowned. He grabbed the cup from her hand and put it on the counter, causing her to look at him warily. He grasped at one of her hands, pressing it against his chest where his ruthless heart lay beating steadily. 

“Don't do that. Don't ever make excuses for me when I act like a bastard, Charlotte. You never deserve me to snap at you like that,” he insisted firmly. He wouldn't do this to her, wouldn't become his father, wouldn't be a mean twat. He wouldn't tear her to pieces like a piece of paper. She looked uncomfortable and he knew her brain was having a hard time with accepting his words, always thinking she was at fault. He was grateful she didn't argue with him though, he didn't have it in him right now. She nodded, her thumb rubbing against his chest soothingly. 

“I forgive you,” she whispered and while he felt relieved, he still felt like a bastard about it because he knew she'd forgive him no matter what he did. Knew she'd never hold him responsible for fucking anything. 

“I love you,” his voice sounded pleading almost, but for what he didn't know. He hurt her and he needed her to know that he loved her more than anything. A pretty smile graced her face and she took his limply hanging hand. She mimicked him, pressing it against her heart that he could feel fluttering against his hand. 

“I love you too. And I'm always here, whether you need someone to talk to or you need space. Just let me know,” she said quietly and he knew she was right. He'd always kept his work away from her and he still intended to but she deserved to know what upset him like this. While nightmares were something he was used to, Charlotte wasn't aware of that. This was new for her to see him this way because she usually kept them away. 

He grabbed his cup with one hand, her hand with the other before he led her to the couch. He set his tea on the coffee table before sitting down and tugging her to sit with him. As she went to sit next to him, he grabbed her hips and pulled her to straddle him. She came willingly, settling against his chest like she belonged there, her head lay on his shoulder and her nose against his neck. His arms encircled her instantly, seeking out closeness and comfort. 

Maybe it wasn't a bad thing to go to her after something like this, instead of pushing her away. He felt his muscles relax instantly under her touch. She waited patiently as she lay there with him, her fingers drawing patterns on his bare chest and he allowed one of his hands to slide up her back under his shirt she was wearing, wanting to feel her skin. 

“It was a nightmare,” he started with a low voice and it felt like she pressed herself closer at his admission.

“Was it the training?” She asked in a whisper, her voice caring and gentle. He pressed his nose against her head, breathing in her scent deeply and allowing it to soothe him.

“Was and it wasn't. Wasn't about what happened there but… but it dragged a lot of shit up for me. Stuff with my dad,” he admitted. He could feel his cheeks heat up at talking about it so openly despite the fact she already knew about his father. She moved to sit up then as if sensing the gravity of the conversation. 

She gave him a soft look as her hands smoothed up his chest. His hands wandered her body before settling on her thighs, rubbing and squeezing them like they were a squishy stress toy. He could have left it at that admission and be done with it, she wasn't prying for more information, but he found himself wanting to tell her, needing to get the poison out of his system once and for all. 

“You know what he was like, the shit he did, but… one of the worst was… He took me to this metal concert, a band he liked. Drug use was just part and parcel of bein' there. At one point I couldn't find him so I went lookin’... Found him in the bathroom with a prostitute. They were shootin’ up in one of the stalls, only… only she was fuckin' dead. OD’d on the bullshit. And my dad, he… he found it fuckin' hilarious, forced me to stare at her, force me to laugh at her dead body,” he grit out, eyes unseeing for a moment as he felt the same feelings he felt all those years ago. Fear, disgust, shame, sadness. His dad hadn't saw any worth in the woman just because she was a sex worker but she was someone's daughter. Maybe someone sister or mother or aunt. She was a person and he'd been forced to look at her lifeless body and laugh like she was nothing but the butt of a bad joke. He couldn't bring himself to tell her his nightmare was a twist of that memory, that she’d been dead instead of the prostitute. 

He was dragged out of his miserable thoughts when Charlotte's warm hands cupped his cheeks, making his dark eyes snap to hers. Her brows were pinched together as her thumbs swiped over his cheeks. 

“You didn't deserve to go through that,” she muttered and his fingers dug into the flesh of her thighs at the concern in her eyes. It wasn't so much pity as just not liking the fact he'd been through something like that. The same feelings he had when thinking of her past. 

“I really hope I get to meet him one day so I can kick him in the nuts,” she huffed, a scowl on her pretty face. Despite everything, his lips quirked up at the image she’d provided him with. He knew she couldn't hurt a fly, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. 

“You gonna beat him up for me?” he asked in amusement and she gave him a wry grin.

“Damn right I will,” she said firmly and his smile widened. Fuck, he loved her. How she managed to bring him back from the brink of his own dark mind was beyond him. He wasn't sure how he’d cope if he didn't have her in his life. One of his hands left her thigh, moving to cup her cheek. He enjoyed how she always leaned into his touch.

“You mean the world to me, love,” he murmured, eyes shining at her affectionately. He was sure he looked moon eyed as he gazed at her, nothing but a lovesick fool. The prettiest smile painted her lips and he was breathless, struck by how absolutely stunning she was. And she was all his. She leaned in, pecking his lips with a sweet kiss as she smiled at him.

“You mean the world to me too.” He wasn’t sure what he did to deserve her love but he was damn sure gonna keep it. He’d do whatever it took to keep her by his side. His nightmare had been harrowingly realistic and he’d felt every emotion as if it had played out in real life. He knew what it felt like to lose her and he didn't think he’d ever shake that feeling for as long as he lived. He took comfort in her weight on him, in feeling her warm breath fanning his neck as she tucked herself neatly there, at feeling her chest expand with each breath, pressing against his. He’d make sure he never felt that feeling again.

When Simon woke up the next morning, his neck was stiff as a board. It took him a moment to get his bearings, realising he was asleep lay on the couch. The night before came back to him, the nightmare, Charlotte comforting him. They’d stayed on the couch all night and she’d wound up getting her Grimm’s book, reading to him. He must have fallen asleep. But now he was wondering where the hell she was and he sat up, looking over the couch and seeing her flitting about in the kitchen. He groaned softly, stretching his sore muscles from the way he’d slept and he felt bad for falling asleep on her like that, for waking her up with his nightmare to begin with. He stood up, rubbing his tired eyes as he padded into the kitchen. 

She looked over at him, radiant smile on her lips that always punched him in the chest every time he saw it. She was wearing just one of his shirts and he knew it was his favourite outfit on her. 

“Good mornin’, love,” he murmured, his voice slightly raspy from sleep. 

“Good afternoon,” she replied wryly, a smirk tugging at her lips as his brows shot up. He looked at the clock quickly, seeing it was indeed 12.46 pm. He hadn’t realised he’d slept for so long but fuck knows, he needed it. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he frowned, feeling bad about waking up so late. 

“Don’t be. You were proper knackered, especially after… waking up like you did. You needed the rest,” she smiled sweetly at him. He noticed the pan then and the smell of eggs and he felt a tugging in his chest.

“Eggy bread?” he asked hoarsely, so many memories hitting him all at once it made his head spin. The little smile on her face made him think she was aware of what was going on in his head.

“Your mum taught me how to make it. She said she’d try and make it for you and Tommy on special occasions, so…” she trailed off, looking somewhat uncertain. The tugging in his chest got worse and worse, the gesture touching him. He had so many lovely memories tied to this simple dish, memories of his mother trying her best for him and his brother, despite their awful father. 

“What we celebratin’, then?” he asked curiously, trying to rid the emotion clogging up his throat. She gave him a funny look, tilting her head at him.

“You,” she said simply and he just blinked at her. “You being back here, you getting through the SAS stuff with flying colours,” she added softly and he felt his ears burning at the tips. The idea of being celebrated was foreign to him, especially if it wasn't his birthday, but it touched him and he smiled down at her. 

“Thank you, love,” he murmured, making her beam a smile at him. He was excited for the food, he hadn't had it in a while and he always enjoyed it. 

“You're welcome. You can get something on if you want, it's almost done,” she grinned, gesturing to his state of undress in just his boxers. He did have plans for the day she was unaware of so it would do him good to get dressed. He leaned down, kissing her lips with a smile before he sauntered off to the bedroom. 

The bed was neatly made now, unlike the disarray he left it in after his nightmare. Everything was back where it should be. He got himself into some dark jeans and the sage green jumper she’d bought him at some point. She really loved him in jumpers apparently. He came out as she was plating up and his stomach growled loudly as he moved to sit at the dining table. A plate full of eggy bread and beans was placed in front of him and he didn't even wait for her, digging in and making her laugh at him. She joined him, her own plate with the same but a little less food as they ate together. It was so nostalgic for him, remembering every birthday he and Tommy had where his mother managed to make it for them. It had become a routine and one he’d cherished as a child. 

He couldn't help but steal glances at her as they ate, wondering if she was even real. He had half a mind to think he was in some insane asylum somewhere and this whole thing was a figment of his imagination. How was it possible for someone to be so kind and caring, to be so loving and giving? 

“What?” she asked after catching him, wiping her face as if she thought she had food there. 

“Nothin’, you're just…” he trailed off, nerves and excitement blooming in his stomach at the plans he had for the day, his feelings for her only getting stronger with each passing second he spent with her. 

“I’m just what?” she asked, eyeing him warily and he smiled warmly at her.

“Perfect,” he supplied simply. She flushed delightfully, looking down with a bashful smile on her face.

“We’ve been over this,” she rolled her eyes playfully but her blush didn't ease. He wanted to launch himself over the table and fuck her into next week when she looked all coy and shy like this. Wanted to make her sing.

“Yeah, yeah. No one’s perfect and all that. Except that's a load of bollocks, ‘cause you are,” he argued with a smirk and he didn't think it was possible, but she blushed even harder. 

She wouldn’t look at him for a moment, a shy smile she was trying to suppress still on her face. When she lifted those beautiful blue eyes to his, he wanted to drop to his knees in reverence to her. 

“If I’m perfect, then so are you,” she muttered, almost pouting and he chuckled at her. He wasn't going to argue with her because he knew she wouldn't hear any of it. If he had to go along with her bullshit so she’d accept a bloody compliment off him then he’d do it. They finished their food off with shared smiles and blushes on her part. before he got up, taking both their plates over to the sink and ignoring Lottie’s protests as he did.

“Get your arse dressed, got some shit planned,” he ordered from the sink, not even looking at her as his nerves expanded from his stomach to the tips of his fingers and toes.

“Oooh, where are we going?” she asked excitedly and he was surprised when she suddenly wrapped her arms around him from behind. She’d really turned the tables on him since this was what he usually liked to do to her and he knew it must of looked bonkers from the other side with her being so small. He smiled to himself as her hands slid up his jumper, smoothing up his muscles and drawing a happy little hum from her. 

“Not tellin’ you, so get dressed,” he smirked and she heaved a large sigh, resting her forehead on his back.

“Fine,” she almost whined but he could hear the smile in her voice even if he couldn’t see it. A kiss was placed on his back before her arms disappeared and he found himself longing for her again already. Was mad how he fucking missed her even though she was right there, how the fuck did that work?

As she dressed, he got the kitchen nice and clean, putting everything away when he was done. He noticed something on the fridge then that he hadn't noticed the night before, being as tired as he was. It was a picture tacked to the fridge with a little heart magnet and the picture made his heart stutter against his ribs. It was a picture of Lottie holding little Joseph. He hadn't seen the boy since he got back yet but he’d grown already so much. By Simon’s calculations, he’d be 11 months now. He wondered what milestones he’d missed, was he walking yet? Joseph was sitting on Lottie’s knee with a precious smile on his chubby little face and Lottie was looking at him like he was the second coming of Christ. It was the same look she’d worn at the hospital when she looked at him, now encapsulated in a photograph. It stirred so many feelings in him as he looked at it.

“Me, Beth and Jo went to town, had dinner at Cafe Metro. Beth took the picture, I didn't even realise she’d taken it until after she had it printed.” He jumped, not even hearing her come back in and he whipped around to see her now dressed. 

She was wearing an outfit he hadn’t been privy to yet and he wondered if she'd gotten it when he was away. The skirt was black, high waisted and long, reaching her calves and fitted to her silhouette exquisitely, a slit going up the side no doubt to help her walk with ease. She’d put on some black tights and her top was a cropped jumper, the colour almost matching his with the pretty green colour she loved so much. The amused smirk on her face had him wondering if she’d picked it to match him on purpose. 

“Is this okay?” she asked as she looked down at herself, still having no idea what he had planned. A hum reverberated low in his throat and he grasped her hips, pulling her closer to him greedily and making her giggle as her hands spread over his chest.

“Perfect. Love the skirt,” he hadn’t meant it to but his voice came out a mere growl as his hands slid around to her arse. The skirt hugged her perfectly and he was enjoying how it clung to her curves. 

“Remind me to wear it again, then,” she grinned cheekily, perching up on her tiptoes to give him a slow and languid kiss that set his blood on fire. He hadn’t taken her since he got back yet and as much as he wanted to put her over the table and rut into her until she was sobbing with pleasure, they had shit to do. 

“Stop distractin’ me, you little minx. Shoes and coat on,” he ordered, giving her arse a smack for good measure before ushering her off. She laughed as she moved away, eyes twinkling with mischief as she went off to do as she was told, pulling her Docs on with her leather jacket. He moved to put his hoodie on before slipping off into the bedroom. 

He shut the door before quickly hurrying over to his duffel bag by the bed that he still hadn’t emptied. He crouched, tilting his head to keep his ear out for a moment and when he couldn't hear Lottie at all, he unzipped the bag and rummaged around at the bottom of it. Once he found what he was looking for, he grabbed it, slipping it into his pocket. When he left the room, his girl was fully ready and patiently waiting for him. She shot him a beautiful smile as he approached and he smiled back, unable not to when she made his chest so warm.

“Ready?” he asked her, getting a nod in return.

“Ready.”

He was stalling and he knew he was but he really couldn't help it, not when nerves kept seizing his limbs in a vice. It wasn't that he was having second thoughts, his mind was firmly set and nothing would change that, but how the fuck was he to know how she’d react? That was the terrifying part, to put himself out there so openly and be rejected. He knew she loved him, he didn’t doubt that for a second but it didn’t mean she would go along with his crazy fucking plan now, did it? They were in the city centre and he’d taken her shopping. She’d outright refused at first, telling him they were supposed to be celebrating him and not her, but he promptly told her that since they were celebrating him, he should be able to do whatever he wanted, including spoiling his girlfriend. That had shut her up for a bit. He loved spoiling her though and eventually, she’d given in, knowing there was no use in fighting him and allowed him to just buy her shit. 

They’d gotten some Lush, easing her mind a little when he told her he fully expected to get in those baths with her and enjoy the bath bombs and bubble bars she’d gotten. He got her some clothes but she didn't want much, said the clothes weren’t worth the money and he had to admit he agreed, even if she did force him to treat himself to some bits and pieces. They’d sat in Waterstones too for a bit, gathering a small collection of books for the pair of them and enjoying the quiet atmosphere in there as they perused the shelves. 

It was a nice day, calming, to just walk about with her like this. But as the day had worn on, that biting anxiety had started to get more and more intense until he couldn't ignore it. Couldn’t ignore it when he took her to the same Italian place they’d gone to all that time ago. She’d been so happy about it and he’d spent the entire time feeling like he might pass out with how light headed he was feeling. She’d picked up on it embarrassingly enough. Apparently he looked pale and worse for wear and he’d lied right to her face, told her he was just feeling under the weather. Felt like a right bastard when she’d taken his hand across the table and suggested they go home so she could look after him. He only agreed because he needed to get this over with. The longer he waited, the worse these feelings would be and he really didn’t want to fuck the whole thing up because he was panicking. Knowing the potential to ruin absolutely everything, he was losing his damn mind. 

“Are we not getting the bus?” she asked softly, her hand clasping his as they strolled down the dark street. The lamp posts were the only thing illuminating it, giving it a slightly yellow tinge. 

“Yeah, just not this one,” he murmured and she looked at him with realisation and a pretty smile, curling her other hand around his arm, practically hugging it. 

“Are we taking a trip down memory lane?” she asked cheekily, fluttering those long lashes at him. It always surprised him that all he had to do was look at her and he remembered he was a fucking goner for her. Absolutely done in, had no chance. 

“Maybe,” he replied, making her smile widen as she leaned her head on his arm for a moment. 

She was practically clinging to him and he was soaking every little bit of her affection up. When they got to the same bus stop he met her at, the feelings inside his chest were whirling around like a hurricane. He watched her, completely enraptured as she looked around, not having been here in a bit. Was nothing remarkable, just a fucking bus stop, but it changed everything. She made a move to sit at the bench but his hand tightened around hers, pulling her back over to him as she blinked up at him in question.

“I… think about this bus stop a lot,” he confessed, his heart thumping hard against his chest. “It’s mad really… I coulda gone to any one of ‘em, yet… I was here and then you came along.” he hadn't really prepared a speech. God knows he bloody tried but this kind of stuff didn't come easy to him and he’d given up trying to script it, decided to just wing it but now he wasn't sure his words were the right ones or that it was coming out the way he wanted it to. His free hand moved to stroke her cheek as she looked at him with those wide and loving eyes, a sweet smile toying on her lips.

“I’m really glad you chose this bus top,” she murmured as she gave his hand a squeeze. He smiled but it was shaky, much like his breathing as he stepped even closer to her, his thumb swiping over her slightly flushed cheek. He needed to just get it out of him, purge it from his system and so the flood gates opened and the words just tumbled right out of him.

“You know I’m not good with words. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me but I don’t think there's any words in the English language to do it justice. Tellin’ you that I love you just doesn't feel enough. You came into my life with all your light and chased all the shadows away, you gave me things I never thought I wanted or deserved. I didn't think… I never thought I could love like I do with you, never thought I could be loved. You’ve changed my life completely and I’m a better man for it, for you. I realised somethin’ back before I went off for selection, fuckin’ hit me like a freight train and then I couldn’t shake it. I knew I wanted this, us, you, forever. I knew that you're it for me, all I’ll ever need,” she was watching him intently, eyes shining slightly as she looked at him like she couldn't quite comprehend his words and he knew her insecure brain was probably trying to wrap her head around it. He took a deep and shaky inhale, letting go of her hand and her face, making her brows furrow slightly. 

“Charlotte… I… fuck… “ his heart was galloping a mile a minute and he could feel his pulse in his neck. He was sure he was about to keel over from a medical emergency with the way his body was carrying on. He wanted to continue his grand speech, wanted to keep declaring his undying love for her but the words got stuck in his throat as he felt his blood pressure skyrocket. He shoved his hand in his pocket, grabbing what was in there before he dropped down heavily to one knee, opening the box to reveal a silver ring with a diamond in the centre. 

“Will you marry me, love?” his voice was bordering on hysterical pleading as his wide eyes implored at her from where he kneeled. The rapid beating of his heart only increased when she stared at him unblinking and he started to worry he’d made a colossal mistake by doing this. Maybe it was too soon, maybe she didn't even want to get married, he’d never bothered to ask her thoughts on the subject because he didn't think he was the marrying type himself. 

“You… you wanna marry me?” he was broken out of his musings by her soft and incredulous voice and he was just glad she started blinking again.

“Would be mental not to,” he confessed quietly, meaning his words wholeheartedly. His heart was in his throat, completely at her mercy on the floor with his beating heart in her hands. Despite his concern of her crushing it right before his eyes, soft tears fell down her pretty cheeks, a radiant smile curling her lips.

“Yes,” she laughed tearfully and he blinked dumbly at her for a moment, sure he’d heard wrong.

“Yes?” he breathed, hope coating his tone painfully. She wiped her eyes with a laugh, her smile the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life. 

“Yeah,” she grinned. The feeling that exploded inside of him felt like a mini heart attack. He couldn't even put it into words, happiness felt too menial of a word. He’d never felt anything quite like this feeling of pure elation and he had a smile of his own on his face, grabbing her hand once she gave it to him and putting the ring on her finger with a shaky hand. He practically bounced up to his feet before capturing her lips in a desperate kiss that she eagerly melted into. She said yes. She was going to be his wife, he was going to fucking marry her. Charlotte Riley, he really liked the sound of that.

[heymrspatel]

oh hi julissa yay fun game!! chani has set a precedent and now i too am picking three things 😛

🖥️🥪☕️

hi deanna 🥰 hi leah!!!

🖥️Last thing you googled a bunch of references for a drawing. but i can't really say what they are without giving what i'm working on away heehee! 🤫

🥪last sandwich you ate - @whatwouldmickeydo sorry i joined you both 😅🩵 it was grilled cheese baybeeeee i love me a grilled cheese 🧀

☕️last coffee order iced vanilla coffee with oat milk! my go to!

[analyzingadventure]

Alrighty, let’s catch up on GG, episodes 61-65, let's gooo

I'm super behind on GG, mainly because I have been actually rewatching it from the begining for the episode guide, and it's taken me this long to catch up- thank goodness for the hiatus for letting me catch up in peace though

Anyway, 61 - Resurrection!

Well this episode is off to grim start

TSUMEMON?? WE'RE GETTING TSUMEMON THIS EPISODE??

HEY WHAT WAS THAT SHADOW ON THE ROOF

Man the vibes this episode are immaculate, the atmosphere is so good

OH EVILMON IN THE WINDOWS?? WE GETTNG A PLETHORA OF DIGIMON THIS WEEK?? (Wait is this the Milleniummon episode??)

OH THIS IS THE MILLE EPISODE, IT'S MILLE TIME BOYS

Sorry I didn't have much to say, good episode, maybe a little anticlimactic but also this is definitely more about the thematics than spectacle and that's wonderful

62 - The Strange Floor

So we have an absolute plethora of stuff happning here, eh

OH YOU'RE ONE OF THE NEW-ISH BABIES!! I CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME BUT YOU'RE CUTE!!

Oh we got others too- Otamamon, Kunemon, other folks! :oc

BABY BASTARD SPOTTED

OH THE HEEBIE JEEBIES

owo Who's this handsome mon

Oh Espimon is in the Cyber Sleuth data space too lmao

OH THAT KEY, THAT FUCKING KEY, IT'S CLAVIS ANGEMON'S KEY

ARE WE GETTING CLAVIS ANGEMON THIS EPISODE?? I MEAN I SAW TWITTER SPOILERS BUT I FORGOT HALF THE DIGIMON THAT'RE SHOWING UP

YESSSSS IT'S CLAVIS YESSSSSSSSSSS

Is it bad if I get excited about certain Digimon showing out of no other reason than OCs? It's true rn lmao

And Espimon evolved! Congrats, you have found Hiro!

(Or has he? What if Hiro isn't Hiro? IDK the Fake Hiro thing was starting to make me wonder lmao)

Alright, they finally beat some sense into him

And Aoi actually gets to know that Digimon do infact exist- how fun

Nice episode! V fun

63 - Gluttony

Dude is hungy and his arm is stretchy... Clearly, someone needs to get this man some meat

"One was strangely crunchy" HHHHHHHH DON'T LIKE THAT

(God this episode almost has some "the diroctor's barely disguised fetish" energy hhhhhhhhh)

Okay for real though Hiro and co should've noticed something Is Very Very Wrong with Ruri long before they even left the buffet, it is not humanly possible for a human, let alone a skinny child, to eat this much, guys, please, rub your braincells together

RURI NO DON'T VORE GAMMAMON NOOOOOOOO

Perhaps, instead of trying to feed her more, take her to fucking Mummymon, for the love of god

FINALLY, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

oh OH OH OHOH IT'S QUARTZMON, I FUCKING FORGOT, IT'S FUCKING QUARTZMON, HOLY SHIT HUNTERS RIGHS

BABIES?????????????????

Well I already did the vore joke, might as well go for the mpreg joke while I'm at it too--- congrats to Quartzmon, you're a father

Actually I really like this twist though, that Quartzmon, despite being a horrific looking Digimon who you could hardly imagine being ever presented in a positive light, turns out to be a decent person, just wanting to take care of some babies. That's great, that's a great twist

There really are just... more and more Digimon, everywhere. This is definitely leading to everyone getting separated by the finale again, isn't it

Yeah this was a good episode!

64 - Call

It's Dagomon time baybeeeee

Oh the visual reference to the Dark Ocean episode is really cute

Also holy shit Dagomon is A Big Boyo

GUMDRAMON BABYYYYYYYYY

Wait is that the same guy on the ship as the guy from the bird episode from early on (oh god damn don't tell me I need to label that episode as Plot Relevant in the filler guy because that guy comes back...)

OH THE FIELD DIDN'T COME UP RIGHT, IT'S JUST A PROTECTIVE BUBBLE, OH GOD DAGOMON IS STRONK

Oh that's fucking creepy

Oh that shot gets an absolute 10/10, that's so fucking good

Oh this is so fucking cool

Oh he turned into a mass of tentacles, that's great

He's... contained... wha

Oh did he get yeeted back into the Digital World????

CTHYLLAMON??? CAME TO HELP???? WHAT????? OH THAT'S GREAT I LOVE THAT???

wait WHAT

WAIT WHAT

HOKUTO AND TERRIERMON JUST POPPED OUT

WAIT WHAT

THAT WAS SO FAST I COULDN'T EVEN GET A SCREENSHOT ON TIME, WHAT

WAIT ANGORAMON'S EPISODE SPEECH GOT CUT

OH WHAT

OH THEY'R EDOING A FUCKED UP VERSION OF THE OPENING NARRATION, OH SHIT THAT'S SO COOL???????????

THE DIGITAL WORLD DISAPPEARED???????????

MUMMYMON WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING HOLY SHIT

NEXT FUCKING EPISODE, 65, THE BLACK ZONE OF DEATH

There's no opening narration

I'm not ready for this man

So is that gonna be the lore explanation to Black Variants... (I can't remember if there was a lore bit like this or not, maybe there was actually, not that I care that much)

Oh Hiro is just chillin' with MoonMille, that's great

"I can't live in an analog world without anime or games" Kiyo, bitch, you don't need the Internet for either, go watch some anime on VHS and play some FFIX on a PS1 you COWARD!! Kids these days, smh

KUZUHAMON??? SHE'S JUST THERE??? A GIANT WOMAN???

Lmao Hokuto got cut off and couldn't go with the others

Hokuto, what the fuck are you planning on doing to Nomura and the others. I do not trust this irresponsible man whatsoever

Ah, the forest... all black+magenta... Just like a certain edgyboi...

Man, shit is happening so fast I can't even make out which Digimon are fighting-- Kuwagaamon and Tuskmon?? Fuck I can't tell

(Ah it's a Brakimon)

I think this is a Rafflesimon episode and oh wowie the bodyhorror is fun ahahahahhhahhhaaa

Look I was happy to get to see Rafflesimon in GENERAL, but this black version??? Oh she looks so cool???????

Ah, so the black peeling on Gammamon's back... I didn't comment on it but I was assuming that somehow Gammamon's time was "running out" and he was going to become Gulus again, like his inner Gulus was gonna get released-- but Gulus is a separate entity from Gammamon? Or a second personality? Sealed away? That's interesting

Anyway Gulus wants to come out to play, eh

RIP, Rafflesimon

And Saberdramon is back, nice

Oh there's an island in the cloud..?? Big Laputa Energy (but like, more dead)

OH IT'S- IT'S WHATSHISFACE, FUCKING FLOWER KNIGHT GUY

AND HE'S VOICED BY SHANKS??????

YOU CAN'T END THE EPISODE THERE

AAAAAAAAAAAA

You guys. I am not ready for Ghost Game to end. I'm not ready for the last two episodes. We're gonna get fucking WRECKED

Do I even wanna watch the episode preview... It's just gonna be torture since the next episode airs on March 19th, like two more weeks.

Oh let's just fucking watch it man, god knows GG has been good at keeping it secrets so far, they're not gonna spoil shit at this point

Oh she's so pretty ;w;

Episode preview

Yeah we get a fun fight against flower knight boy and then Gulus goes berserk based on the episode title

Oh boy

Rewatching GG has made me appreciate it so much more (the Episode Guide is almost done*, I just need to edit it because it's a bit messy), and knowing there won't be another Digimon anime for a good while again (aside from the Zero Two movie but I'm not watching it)... It's bitter sweet. We finally get plot, but at the cost of the series ending. It's been a fun, unique ride though, and I'm grateful for it

*I mean it won't be 100% completed until the final episode airs but I'll post it early so if anybody wants to rewatch some highlights, it'll be easier for them to find the right episodes

[ao3wasntenough]

WHEN IN DOUBT THROW EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW AND HOPE SOMETHING STICKS THE LANDING

Was my philosophy as I was so frustrated at designing human Sunstreaker so I said what will happen happenes, put on punk tactics and drew

✨He✨

I love him so much, the pose! Oh the pose I’m so proud of myself it’s great, it’s just a rough up but I am in love 🥰

I couldn’t decide shorts or squorts cause I was using gen one robot for reference and inspiration, so I leave it up for interpretation

Should he wear thigh high strapped boots for optimal badassery?

Details of Sunstreaker if you don’t wanna read about the au I’ve thrown together

- he’s around the 6’6 range which isn’t uncommon, almost average height

- gets fuzzier and more wolfie with more adrenaline or just cause he’s in a silly goofy mood

- does bite

- has broken a watermelon between his thighs

- I choose to make him wolfy because I loved his helm horns? And their obviously very iconic with him and hair wasn’t working with me so the only option was wolf ears

~ boring au rambling~

So not only did a glorious joke of designing the autobot equivalent of a hooters uniform start but also my spiraling into a hotpot mess of an au, like we’ve got a little bit of everything.

Intergalactic Government baybeeeee

Basically Cybertron is being socially distant and doesn’t want to exactly join in on intergalactic business, but intergalactic management says fine we get it, but don’t care much either way so you must have one intergalactic-gov mandated worker live on world and they send us reports.

Thus Cybertron trying to keep a war lowkey so they don’t get reported and the intergalactic government steps in.

Thus a spanner is thrown into the works when Sam from earth assigned by the IGGIES gets dragged into a chain reaction. Man’s just trying to get his reports sent.

[shameboree]

hey kels i was scrolling through my dash and then i caught a glimpse of your new fallon drawing and i want you to know that i went absolutely buckwild and then i scrolled further to see the whole drawing and i'm pretty sure i squealed. kels ever since ive started following you and your art and fallon have slowly nestled yourself inside my brain its amazing how excited i get whenever u upload a new drawing. also ive noticed that i'm slowly but surely starting to sound more and more unhinged and wild like you. how the fuck do you have so much influence on me. 

ALSO i love the new fallon drawing!! you are so right blue gold and white are just her colours they fit her v well!! and i love how much texture you used throughout the whole drawing and her shoes are AWESOME!! also love the whole winter fairy-ish vibe <3

ALSO i was wondering if you could like sort of,, idk explain your drawing process on this drawing? like if you did the colouring first or the lineart and stuff bc i just love how it turned out and id love to try something similar!!

AW!!! i am so hype for my awful girl to be Enjoyed so much!! she is my favorite dressup doll i love to play barbies with her most of all heheh. also i am THRILLED that my Unhinged and Unwell nature have rubbed off on u. i know i am a Strong personality and it makes me V POLARIZING (i am either LOVED or LOATHED i havent met many ppl who are just like meh abt me. i am an Experience) and its always a DELIGHT when someone finds my feral animal traits endearing or positive and kind of picks up on them. i think because life is short that we should all be as bananas as we please at any point in time. PURE ID HERE BABY

AND TY TY!! my girl has a strong aesthetic and this piece kind of went a liiiiittle against some of that (its a lot of hard angles vs i normally give her a lot of ovals and rounded edges) but for the setting its appropriate bc im trying to give her a bit more of a """"harsh"""" or """"severe"""" vibe (like as harsh and severe as she can possibly look which isnt very). i LOVE to use texture brushes they are such an easy way to get out of drawing details myself because i am SO lazy!!

okay i “”answered”” this i GUESS technically because i typed words in response but its a whole lot of jack shit so like. here ya go. SORRY PAL. 

here are some more shoes as u can see i basically draw her in the same ones always except when i draw her in a plugsuit

OKAY THE DRAW IN QUESTION i kind of cheated on bc i literally just traced over one of my older draws i did for a very obscure au i made of who made me a princess (i am always doing such ridiculously niche shit i love to sit in my little sandbox and have no one else understand my barbie rps) BUT the process is the same as basically every draw i do like this. it is very simple so dont worry (or do, maybe)

i use 1-3 layers at a time and then immediately merge when i feel like im done and LIVE W MY MISTAKES if not!! anyway prepare to be massively underwhelmed heh

this is so funny i cant believe i literally traced my own drawing im a fuckin FRAUD im the laziest bitch i know. anyway. my sketches are way messier than this but it always starts out either scratch ass lines or color blocking w this bright ass magenta bc thats what feels right!!!!!!

HERES THE LAYERS I USED LOL i do all textures n shit as a clipping mask so actually i used 4 layers for this bc id set down one texture or pattern that was gonna overlap on a diff layer so i wouldnt have to work harder to erase and then BLINDLY MERGED to make things more difficult if actually i fucked up before that!!! work smarter not harder except when it is absolutely braindead to do otherwise is my motto

IF IM DOIN SMTH NICER like this then i usually make sure all my lines connect (this is also why i do a lot of angles and simple clear shapes when i draw) so i can set that layer as reference and USE THE FUCKING FILL TOOL BAYBEEEEE!!!!! this also makes it easier to fuck around with COLOR imho bc you can just rapidly swatch with zero efforts. i Love to take shortcuts. i Love to be lazy. i HIGHLY rec this, if i have colored smth that stays in the lines then its bc i connected the lineart and used the bucket fill underneath. if my lines dont connect sometimes ill make a temp line and erase after i filled. im dedicated. ALSO u can see here that my patterns layer is all overlapping and fucked up bc i didnt check and erase fully but i use p limited palettes in general so... IT DIDNT MATTER THIS TIME!!!!!!!!. 

anyway after all that i lock the lineart layer if i havent already and color some of the lines for some PIZAZZ. easy way to immediately fake effort i do love to do that

HERES AN ACTUALLY MESSY SKETCH:

 i do all of my fucking draws on the same canvas bc im a horrible little beast, so the only reason i didnt erase the sketch and use it for the colors layer was bc there were others on that layer already and i didnt wanna scoot them so i could cap the finished draw. i did NOT connect my lines for this one i colored like a toddler. who gives a shit we all die in the end anyway!!! 

YOU DIDNT ASK FOR THIS BUT LINELESS MY LOVE... i just color blocked for this one alas i do not have process caps, i will do that next time i draw i guess if anyone wants that!!? i typically only use a single layer for lineless- block out the shape, alpha lock, then color and carve from there. EASY PEASY!! ive shown it before but i spent all my formative draw years on v limited feature programs (mspaint, oekaki, TEGAKI MOST OF ALL) so i dont explore tools much and do what seems easiest and most intuitive to me... im sorry i dont have any sick tricks or real process i am but a feral little clown drawing in the DIRT. also here is the tegaki overlay i use whenever i am Blocked or fatigued w procreate layout. it makes me feel NOSTALGIC and INSPIRED so i do this instead of like, actually getting on tegs2

this ended up long as fuck and FOR WHAT?? its just 10 images and several paragraphs of “sorry im the laziest fucker ALIVE”

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 27

Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things

"Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I have not opened myself up to potentially experience this level of heartbreak in a long long time (not romantically anyway). So I'm good, baybeeeee

I really hope Neil isn't looking for anything beyond friendship right now from her. Like, it's one thing to provide a friend with chocolate and beer and the right music for their mood when they...have broken up with their partner? are fighting with their partner? But istg if I hear the term "friendzone" in this episode, I'll scream.

PINK MOTOROLA RAZR HELL YEAH! Aw, poor girl. Though there doesn't seem to be anything supernatural about her death on the surface

It's weird seeing Sam be sentimental about the mom he never really got to know and the dad he spent his whole life fighting with, but grief works in weird and mysterious ways

What is going ON in this cemetery?? Unholy ground, apparently

Man, if the the Winchester boys could stop vagueblogging each other during this in person conversation with the victim's dad, that would be cool

That plant said "this guy's vibes suck" OH SHIT OH SHIIIIIIIT Dude got got by his girlfriend's ghost. And I'm not mad at her

Jesnsen makes the best facial expressions. When he's lying as Dean, it's just....perfection

What. the. fuck. Is...did the dad do some kind of...magic to bring back his daughter? But, wonderfully, she came back wrong??

Dean bringing up pop culture references during a monologue in a fit of rage shouldn't make me chuckle, but it did

Oh, this guy is worse than any "friendzoned nice guy." HE must have brought her back and has been keeping her in a sweet, pristine white dress IN HIS BASEMENT (though i guess SOMETIMES she's allowed to come to the first floor). Man...fuck this guy.

"NEIL! It's your grief counselors! We've..come to hug!" Probably one of Dean's worst lies so far

Coming to the conclusions the boys do BEFORE they do (because I understand basic story telling) maks me feel good. I realized the roommate slept with our zombie girl's boyfriend like 15 minutes ago. Because the only real characters were: Angela, Neil, Angela's dad, Angela's boyfriend, and Angela's (female) roommate.

Also how would you explain your dead-from-a-car-crash roommate being found in your living room with scissors stabbed through her heart days after her burial? You know, if that had actually worked

"How are we gonna get Angela back to the cemetery?" Please tell me you're lightly kidnapping Neil to make this work...or maybe the roommate? Neil it is!

I'm so glad you're scared of your zombie girlfriend, Neil. You should be. Yeah, you bring a girl back from the dead to play house with you, you don't get to leave her like that, NEIL

I feel like this isn't the first time recently that Dean's said "What's dead should stay dead." And I'm curious how that's gonna come back this season. (It's gonna be so difficult to not spoil myself.)

It's not your FAULT Dean. John made his own choices, and I wish you could know that right now.

I didn't think we'd get follow up on "what's dead should stay dead" THIS immediately, but maybe I'm giving the writers too much credit. "I was dead and I should have stayed dead," but you weren't fully dead. You were MOSTLY DEAD. And MOSTLY dead is SLIGHTLY alive! Or have you not watched The Princess Bride in fear that it was a kissing movie.

"Been On My Mind..." Everyone else's lives were too messy for the Winchesters to be getting entangled with anyone, plus they're still too busy fighting every other second over who is handling John's death worse (it's Dean.)