#nobody except like 2 people read my text posts so i can rant about this

[fangirl-dot-com]

🐍 Track 2 - . . . Ready for It?

TAG LIST IS CLOSED

I'm sorry to the ones I couldn't tag. If you do want notifications for when I post, there's always that option as well!

Logan had a new phone. And for the first time in a while, it felt nice to just be disconnected from the world for a bit. The people who truly mattered had his phone number. His Instagram had been wiped, along with every other social media. The American had gone dark. 

And apparently you had done the same thing. 

His parents and brother knew where he would be, just in case for emergencies. However, he asked them to not text much. He needed time away, well, away from the current grid. It hurt him, seeing how supportive everyone was with Theo. No one had ever congratulated him when he first got signed. Hell, even Oscar hadn’t known right away, claiming he had forgotten. 

Of course, he had given you his new number because you’d be the only person he previously knew that he’d still be in contact with. You also gave Logan you’re new number, having similar ideas to your friend. 

Well, he had given George his new number. The Briton had texted his old number in a panic-like manner when Logan deactivated everything. Under a temporary contract, Logan wasn’t legally allowed to tell George anything except that he was safe and needed time away. 

The brunet was not happy with that, but he let Logan know that if he needed anything, he would come running. A bit of happiness let itself seep into Logan’s heart, thankful for the Mercedes driver’s friendship. 

When he had read the email after the social media posts went up, his mind blanked. 

What did Andretti want with him? A washed-out jobless nobody. He believes they should have been looking at someone like Carlos or even Ollie, who was making good times in F2 car. It had to be anyone but him. 

So why was it him? 

He had been about to call you when you had first facetimed him on his laptop. He couldn’t even get words about before you started screeching. Logan chuckled as you went on a rant, as this could be their big break. His silence had given you a look into how he was truly feeling. 

Your voice had quieted down on the device. 

“You’re going to take the offer right?” 

Logan winced at your tone, which gave you the information you needed. You rolled your eyes as you sat on your bed. 

“Logan, we were just dropped by two teams that didn’t even want us. They pushed us away like we were nothing. And now, there’s a team with top potential that truly wants us, and you don’t want to take the opportunity?” 

The American boy sighed. You had a point. 

“I’m just scared that I’m going to get there, and then make a fool out of myself. Then Michael is going to see how truly bad of a driver I am,” he hugged out. 

You could hear the fear in his voice, and it devastated you. Where did your confident and smiley boy go? Williams would pay for it, one way or another. 

You were hesitant to say something. 

“Logan, even if our times aren’t what we’re wanting at first, Michael said that we will get better. He’s sent my manager some data and it looks like we are scarily similar with our driving styles. Logan, the car is going to be made for us. Michael made sure that I knew that we’d have a chance, because I’m not driving if you’re not. Together or nothing, we come as a package.” 

Logan sat up quickly off his bed. He glared at you through his laptop.

“You did not just quote Charles Leclerc to me.” 

“And what if I did?”  

“No, you can’t give this offer up if I don’t drive.” 

You glared back at him, although you had a smile. 

“It’s either both of us, or none of us. I’m tired of never seeing you, and you need a friend you can count on. I’m sorry to say but Oscar has done a very shit job of being your friend. I’d say that George is a better friend than him.” 

Logan sighed. “No, you’re right. It’s just hard to accept that.” 

Your smile dropped a bit. 

“Logan, he was supposed to be your friend and then he dropped you. Everyone had dropped you so many times and you’ve been the one to pick yourself back up. But now, you’ve been dropped a final time, yet someone wants to be the first to help you back up, to clean your wounds, and to heal you. And now you don’t even want that?” 

You had a point. 

Like always. 

“Your words never seem to fail me woman.” 

“That’s because men are the inferior being.” 

Logan snorted. 

“Will I see you in Milan next week?” you asked with hopeful eyes. Logan could see the glimmer that shined in them. He didn’t want to be the person to damped that. 

“I will see you in Milan.” 

The first thing that popped into Logan’s mind when he got to the base was “Holy Shit.” 

The building was massive as he walked through the giant doors. He really thought that this was a movie set with how grand it was. Surely this couldn’t it? Maybe he had the wrong address. 

“Mr. Sargeant?” 

Or maybe he did. His body turned to the lady standing near the front desk. He showed a smile that was definitely a tad too wide and showed too many teeth. Thankfully the lady didn’t show any malice as she sweetly grinned at the blond. 

“Yes ma’am. That’s me.” 

Always the good southern-hospitality manners with him. 

“I’m glad you could make it. If you’d follow me, Michael is waiting in his office for you.” 

Logan breathed a sigh of relief when he finally knew that he didn’t have to circumnavigate the entirety of the building. 

The air was fresh as he walked behind the lady, who he now knew as Marissa Andretti, Michael’s sister and Head of Directors. Her own American accent was like a comforting blanket to Logan. Gosh, did he miss hearing a familiar voice to his own during 2023. 

The one voice he couldn’t wait to hear was your own. He knew he’d be safe once he heard the lisps of a Southern draw when you talked. The slurred vowels and the biting consonants would be music to his ears. 

“How have you liked the simulator and the data so far?” Marissa asked as she led Logan down yet another hallway. How big was this building and were they leading him to his death? 

Yet, despite his concerns, Logan was very happy with the results. 

“The car is already so fast. It’s like it’s just an extension of me instead of working against me. It feels so right.” 

Technically, Logan had been on the first plane to Milan to start testing, as his own anxiety wouldn’t let him wait until the week was up. You had your own simulator back in the States, so you did your testing there. Logan had been back in London when the email came, and his set up was not going to function with the high tech that Andretti needed. 

Marissa smiled over her shoulder. “Good, that is exactly what we are wanting to hear.” 

Finally, she stopped in front of a door that had a giant-ass A on the front. Logan wanted to laugh at the cinematics. Surely, this was a movie and he was going to be the main character. Marissa pushed a button and the door slowly swung open. 

Logan’s smile grew once he saw you in one of the very plush seats in front of the desk. You immediately stood up and jumped into his arms. He breathed deeply and all weight slowly melted from his body. It had been so long since he had gotten to hug you, hold you, feel you. 

When you pulled away, you had a blinding smile on your face. 

“Glad to see you here Logs.” 

His nose scrunched at the old nickname. 

“I don’t think you’ve called me that since we were 12, Y/n.” 

You huffed. 

“Fine, no nickname for you.” 

“I take it back. I ban you from calling me Logan.” 

“Isn’t that your name?” 

“No?” 

“Logs!” 

“Ah there it is!” 

A cough signaled to Logan that they weren’t actually alone. He sheepishly turned around to face the man who, hopefully after this meeting, would be his boss for a couple of years. Logan turned his full body towards the desk and stepped with his hand outstretched. 

Michael had a knowing smile as he shook Logan’s hand. 

“I am so sorry sir, I didn’t even realize that you were already here, and I haven’t seen her in a while, and it’s so good to just here the accents because the grid is entirely too European and Asian, sometimes I couldn’t even understand them, and…” 

Michael put his hands on Logan’s shoulders. 

“It’s just fine kid. I totally get you.” 

Logan visibly relaxed under Michael’s hands. 

“Now, why don’t you sit down and we can start talking contracts.” 

Logan lit up at the word. 

“Contracts?”

You gave him a smirk. 

“Yes Logs, contracts.” 

Logan felt as though he couldn’t breathe. But this time, it was with excitement and not dread. His butt quickly found the seat next to yours. Marissa left the room with promises of coming back with celebratory drinks. 

Michael pulled out two small stacks of paper before he started speaking. 

“So, I’ve talked with both of your managers and we’ve come up with a contract. You two can look over it as I read the big details. The finer print is stuff that you both have already previously gone over, but you are still encouraged to look over it one final time.”

You and Logan had the same exact papers. 

In the initial emailing process, the two of you had voiced that you were a packaged deal. Logan was surprised to see that Michael had said that he wouldn’t want it any other way and was glad to possibly not have to deal with drivers hating each other. Logan thought anything would be better than Brocedes 2016. 

You looked down at the words as Michael read them out loud. 

“Ok, so in the contract, the two of you will be signed until 2027. There is an exit clause in section C, but we are not allowed to terminate prior to 2027. The two of you will be granted ambassadorship with whatever sponsors we’ve received. The sponsorships are in section E and it gives a rundown of each one and what they will be contributing to the team. 

“Per secrecy of wanting to keep the identities secret until we reach the grid for testing, the two of you will go under pseudonyms.” 

You raised an eyebrow. 

“Like a call sign?” 

Marissa flashed a wicked grin. 

“Exactly like a call sign.” 

You continued, “Do we get to come up with them?” 

Michael clasped his hands. “So we thought that Y/n could go by Phoenix and then Logan would go Venus.” 

Your eyes widened as you took in the name. Wasn’t too bad, you thought. 

Logan let out a sigh of relief. “At least it’s not like Eagle or something. That would be super obvious.” 

The boss-man chuckled before he looked back down at the contract. 

“Since the two of you did not specify a salary, we took the liberty to come up with one ourselves. But please feel free to mention what you’d like and we can always raise it. We also liked to put in that for every point scored, the two of you get a bonus as a little incentive. The salary will not be dropped no matter if points are scored or not. Think of it as a baseline.” 

Michael chuckled as he watched yours and Logan’s eyes drastically widen at the sight of the eight digits before the decimal. Logan gulped at the sight. 

“Michael, I think you added too many zeros.” 

“I think I didn’t add enough.” 

Logan couldn’t respond. 

You looked up from the paper to Michael. “I think it’s high enough.” 

The goateed-man smiled back at you and continued. 

“I’ve seen the skills parts on your resumes and thankfully the two of you do not need to learn Italian from scratch. I don’t even know when the two of you had time to learn it, but thankfully it is not required in meetings or in the garage.” 

Logan smirked as he looked at the words. 

“What’s the fun in that? We can have secret conversations with ourselves.” 

You tapped his shoulder. 

“Except Ferrari will know and maybe Lewis.” 

“I’ll have my Duolingo account at the ready.” 

Michael watched as the two of you pored over the papers and bickered like an old married couple. He and Marissa already had a bet going to see when the two of you would get together. But, you didn’t need to know that.

“I digress. You can speak in Italian if you want to. The next couple of sections are just PR related. The two of you wanted to bring you own teams in, which is fine. I’ve sent emails and meeting times to each of them and have been replied to. All is in motion. Logan, you mentioned something to me once about your personal trainer leaving?” 

A sigh left his lips at the mention of Benny. He really didn’t want anyone else. He slowly nodded. 

“He had to leave to be with his family. Williams wasn’t the most accommodating and he was told that he had to be at every race. Normally I didn’t even need him until race day. He’d miss so much time with his family because of traveling and things like that.” 

“Well, I think we have you covered.” 

Logan looked back down at the paper. A small gasp left his lips. 

Ben Jacobs was written in black ink under “Personal Trainer.” 

“How?” 

Michael smiled. 

“It took some convincing, but he said he’d come back for you. Of course, Ben will be highly compensated to return after he said he wouldn’t. His family will also be accommodated for any race that they’d like to attend and Ben can show up however late he needs. His leave will also be paid time as well.” 

Logan could kiss the man if he could. Tears pooled in his eyes and he could only manage a small thank you. Your hand rested on his shoulder in comfort. He just couldn’t wait to see him again. 

“Looks like that is everything. Are you two ready to sign?” 

Yours and Logan’s heads nodded eagerly as pens were uncapped. There was light scratching for a few moments as you filled out the needed information on the multiple sheets of paper. Once everything was completed, you let out a sigh of relief. You and Logan could finally do this. 

Marissa showed up at the right moments with a few different beverages. You took one of the iced americanos, claiming that Italian espresso was, in fact, the best kind. Logan surprised you as he took a mimosa. 

He side-eyed you. 

“It’s freshly squeezed orange juice and you cannot go wrong with it. It’s a classic.”

You held you drink up and your other hand in mock surrender. 

Michael took a black coffee and sipped it. 

“Now, onto the fun stuff.” 

Your eyebrows pinched. “Fun stuff?” 

Michael smirked before pulling up a projector that was attached to his laptop. He started to click through the slides. 

“First, the car.” 

On the slide was a sleek yellow and black livery. The black really highlighted the tamer yellow. 

Michael pointed at it. 

“This is our 2024 livery. We designed it awhile back, but it’s finally going to be used.” 

You let out a whistle as a video played the engine noise. To you, it sounded fast. You had been able to do a few laps with an actual car to get the feel of it since IndyCar were so much different. Michael claimed though that you were a natural in the car, being able to command it to what you needed it to do. Logan was quite the same. 

The next slide showed multiple models of Lamborghinis. With it came a smirk from the sister and brother pair. 

Logan looked at them. 

“I don’t know whether to be excited about the smirks or nervous.” 

Marissa was the one to pull up something on her personal iPad. She showed the official Lamborghini website. 

“Because the two of you will now technically ambassadors for Lambo as well, you two need to pick out what models the two of you would like to own. For now, we can start with one, but Tonino wanted his drivers to start a small collection.” 

You made her pause. 

“Tonino, as in, Tonino Lamborghini?” 

Marissa sent a gentle smile to calm you down. 

“Yes. Mr. Tonino will be at quite a few races to watch. He has mentioned wanting to see Ferrari fail, but our data is saying that although we look promising, there’s not guarantee.” 

Logan exhaled sharply. 

“No pressure right?” 

Michael leaned forward over the desk. 

“Listen to me Logan. You have been with a team that has now destroyed every bit of self-confidence. Mr. Tonino is actually the one who put your name on my radar. If you’re good enough for him, you need to believe that you’re good enough for everyone else.” 

Logan was taken back. Mr. Tonino was the one to bring him up? He felt honored in a good way. A nod of his head let Michael and Marissa know that they could continue. Logan turned your way, only to find you already smiling at him. He hoped that he could always be on the receiving end of that smile. 

Marissa continued where she left off. 

“Just look over the models and customize it however you’d like. We’ll get it sent to the factory to be made in time for the first race in Bahrain. These cars will be shipped along with our supplies so you can always have them.” 

You smirked. “I’ve always wanted a black Lamborghini Aventador.” 

Logan turned to Marissa. “I’d love a black Lamborghini Huracan.” 

A smile grew on your face. “Aw, Logan. We’ll get matching Lambos.” 

Logan thought that if you had been an emoji, you’d be the one with the big teary eyes and a pout. Marissa looked pleased at the requests for the different models. 

You raised your hand. “Do we need to start looking for places to stay here in Milan?” 

Michael lifted his eyebrows. 

“You don’t actually. Between races, the two of you are more than welcome to either go home or adventure somewhere. We will let you know when it is crucial to come back here to do some testing. Housing is provided when you need to be here. There are multiple estates that can be used on bought property.” 

You and Logan definitely liked the sound of that. Maybe you could stay in close villas or something. Or maybe in the same place as you tended to get lonely. That’s what being pushed out of everything does to someone in a year. You can’t remember the last time that you were invited to do something with the team, always retreating to your small hotel room after a race. You feel as though Logan might feel the same. 

Michael moved to the next slide, showing the race suits. 

“These are the suits for the season. Black or white fireproofs will go well with them. Helmets are up to the two of you. You will need on standard for some races and then you can choose what races you want fun ones to be. Miami, Austin, Las Vegas, and Imola are going to be considered our home races.” 

“What about Monza?” Logan questioned. 

Michael had a glint in his eyes. 

“That will forever belong to the Tifosi I’m afraid.” 

You decided to pipe up. 

“Or Charles Leclerc. I feel like wherever he goes, the Tifosi goes with him. You make him trade teams, the Italians will follow him.” 

Logan shot you a teasing look. 

“You always have to bring him up in one way or another.” 

You shrugged. 

“He’s a good driver. Let’s not bring up that you’re such a fanboy for Max Verstappen of all people.” 

Logan’s torso shifted. 

“It’s not every day that one beats Sir Lewis Hamilton and take away his 8th championship!” 

Laughs erupted from Michael and Marissa, making you and Logan pause. You cleared your throat. 

“Sorry, please continue.” 

Michael went a bit further with the slides, going over compatible data to the car. He went over sponsors and things like that before he finally leaned back into his chair. 

“Are we able to drive the cars today?” 

Much like you were, Logan was itching to be back behind the wheel. And hopefully, the wheel belonged to a reliable car. 

Michael stood from where he sat, making you and Logan also rise to your feet. 

“I’d thought you’d never ask,” he said, making his way to the door. When the two of you didn’t follow, he turned back around. 

“Are you ready for it?” 

lamborghini_racing has posted

Lamborghini_racing Are you ready for it?

liked by y/n.nation, logang2, box_box_express, and 4,205,095 others

l4mbo.child a hello or how are you doing WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE

f1_fan I fear they have gagged the entire grid with this

ferrariforza damn, I thought we had the best livery - sorry kings 👑

lambo_drivers all I'm asking is who is going to be driving this beast?

lo-girlies do I even utter his name in fear that it might not happen?

y/nfan or even utter her name?

thepaddock_person who 🤨

childofF1 I'll say it - LOGAN AND Y/N FOR LAMBO 2024

box_box_express the paint, the yellow, the black, the lighting, THE EVERYTHING

taylorswiftxf1 I see the admin is a Taylor fan??

phoenix95 has posted

phoenix95 baby let the games begin

liked by venus2, Lamborghini_racing, y/n.nation, dior, and 2,195,086 others

4theF1_girlies EXCUSE MEEEEEEE

driver95 ayo - we got the Lightning McQueen number with a queen

lambo_duo oh gosh I hope I live to see the day that they reveal their drivers

venus2 looking snazzy 😎

phoenix95 no one ever says that anymore

venus2 🥺

phoenix95 fine...thank you

venus2 🥰

venusxphoenix WHOEVER THEY ARE - THEY HAVE MY HEART

rising_phoenix95 immediate fan

lambo_child the Aventador is such a slay 💅

lambof1 I wonder if they have like matching cars with their contracts

venus2 has posted

venus2 let the games begin now

liked by phoenix95, marissa_andretti, Lamborghini_racing, and 4,205,850 others

lambof1 I THINK I CALLED IT?? THE MATCHING BLACK CARS

pitstop_nightmare I'M SORRY FERRARI BUT THIS IS TOO SEXY

lamborghinivsferrari THE HURACAN 🥵😱

c16_leclerc I'm guessing they went to Charles's school of serving cunt

hamilton44lewis and graduated with a degree in slay

phoenix95 that's sexy baby

venus2 thanks 😚

phoenix95 ...I was talking about the car?

venus2 sure...sure you were 😈

box_box_express I feel like I have some sleuthing to do - hold please

logansarg2 I miss Logan so much - it's heartbreaking to see all of his accounts go dark, I guess I'll have to stan this dude instead

y/n.nation I miss our girl so much

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @disneyprincemuke @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora @skepvids @sunrizef1 @stan-josie @fanficweasley @hiireadstuff @barcelonaloverf1life @c-losur3 @graciewrote @bruhhhhhhhhehhhhhhh @tallrock35 @ashy-kit @kat-s2 @minkyungseokie @lozzamez3 @leslieis-crying @adventuresofrose @lighttsoutlewis

[vykko]

Not going to lie, dyslexia is amazing as nobody in my school or life remembers it exists and if they do they pretend it isn’t a disability

it great like

Tiny letters for no reason that I have difficulty reading

Me trying to make my phone more accessible to myself is not as good as I want it because both, the lay out is not meant for big letters and it doesn’t apply it’s self to anything not deflauf on the phone LIKE GOOGLE

having to learn cursive just as it was no longer useful so now I write in semi cursive when tired or having to be quick, I can’t read cursive

having to ask people who know I’m dyslexic even as well to slow down multiple times when writing stuff

not spelling well so getting lower marks

its a pain in the arse to get my accommodations and ATAR is basically wanting me to get diagnosed again to get a lower word limit so fuck me I guess

I can write and spell well, buuuut because everyone else can write quickly I have to too so I cant read my notes and I’ve cried before because a teacher would slow down

I have to write my notes before the teacher says so, so I can have written before they ask if everyone’s done. Which if I say I’m not I get either have everyone now focusing on me or it’s kinda ingored

”why do you have someone scribe” we don’t have teacher aids in high school for some reason, and during exams yet again getting accommodations is incredibly difficult it was a very hard for me to just get word limits brought down

beimg forced to write rather then type because if the teacher lets us use computers people might play games so again fuck me

them trying to help me with effectively treating dyslexia like I I understood nothing in the English language. also we worked on vowels sounds for ab example of how they did stuff, first I’d done it for 2-3 years 2 yes pior in speech therapy and I was flying through the activities and instead of picking up that I already knew the basics they kept doing the basics

effctivly trying to teach someone who is having difficulties holding their breath underwater for the same time as everyone else by teaching them how to swim by scratch when they allready can swim

more gaint stuff but it gets more ableist so I’d not want to talk about here but later

Last one is the time they changed the daily noctice section telling us where to go when a teacher was away

everyone had difficulty reading it and I couldn’t read it at all and got mild headaches from eye strain, I got lost for 20 minutes because I had forgotten my teachers name and had to get others to read out the table for me and getting pointed I’m the wrong direction by myself

It happened again but it was fault of lazy admin

yeah but I have soo many more stuff on how dyslexia isn’t at least in my school, city, most standard books, old people, the special system at my school, most signs, weirdly a lot of dyslexia awareness stuff and much much more is not accommodated for

also why is dyslexia treated like it’s not a disability

Like if a website has a bad autocorrect system you can very easily tell how much difficulty I have eg

tumblr = good

Skype= BAD!!

like it’s so jarring when I go and write after texting because all of a sudden it’s incredibly hard to English

like if you want to see how kinda I write in pen but for typing either look at posts I made while tired or upset or I’ll take a screenshot of Skype messages

sorry for how long of a rant this is, it’s just infuriating how I honestly struggle because somehow I’m excepted to do as well as my peers WHEN I HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY, honestly dyslexia isn’t hard to accommodate

[riddledem0n]

Oh eddie munson and Stu macher he did you so dirty I'm so sorry (break up vent in tags beware)

[chamerionwrites]

Cheers to all the people reblogging that tragedy post for being extremely civil and reasonable by comparison to the usual Tumblr experience of going lowkey viral. You're all excellent human beings.

Since I'm currently moonlighting as a tragic fiction defense blog, however, I do want to indulge in some mostly good-natured grumbling based on major themes in the notes:

1. This is not actually why I hate tragedy - Listen man, I did explicitly say "one reason" people dislike tragic fiction, not "The Reason."

2. But poorly written tragedy is awful - So are poorly written happy/triumphalist endings! They can even (speaking as someone with trauma-adjacent flinch responses to certain things that Tumblr often describes as "soft" or "wholesome") be extremely painful to read, at times. Bad fiction is allowed to exist and you are allowed to criticize it accordingly without that badness being treated as a reflection on the entire genre to which it belongs.

3. Tragedy is not my cup of tea because real life is hard enough/stories that make me feel doom and helplessness are unhealthy for my depression/I'm too empathetic to handle characters suffering/etc - (a) You're super valid and I super support you but also (b) your experiences are not universal. To their great credit nobody in the notes has said this, but I have encountered FAR too many people on this website confidently claiming that only someone who has never faced hardship, and/or someone thick-skinned and unfeeling toward others' pain, could possibly enjoy tragedy. As a person who has in fact faced hardship and who cannot even squash spiders because it makes me feel too guilty, I personally resent this.

(When I was depressed tragic stories reminded me that flawed people who failed were still worthy of compassion, so y'know. People process their experiences differently and that's okay.)

4. Some authors use tragedy to punish the reader for caring about the characters and 5. Griping about ASOIAF/GOT, which I am choosing to address together because they are so frequently mentioned in the same breath - Okay. Rant incoming but while I have many complaints about ASOIAF (in fact I quit reading midway through) and even more about GOT (which I quit watching even earlier), I'm extremely tired of hearing people accuse GRRM of being a cynical edgelord merely because a lot of his characters die. Maybe it's just conflation of the TV show's poor execution with the writing itself, but I constantly encounter people framing the series' numerous deaths as a kind of Gotcha punishment (why are people so hung up on tragedy-as-punishment?!) for the audience for being naive enough to get attached and/or have hope - an admonishment that life is unfair and you should get used to it and if you're sad it's your own fault for caring too much.

#1, Martin has many flaws as a writer but failure to get inside characters' heads and make you care about them is not one (he gave a strikingly sympathetic POV to the dude who threw a 7yo out a window, ffs); #2, "Men's lives have meaning, not their deaths" is literally right there in the text. So if your takeaway as a reader is "these characters die, therefore their stories were meaningless and I wasn't supposed to care about them"...sorry mate but you may have brought the cynical edgelord-ism with you.

Just. As a general rule. No author on the planet wants you NOT to care about their characters, and if you feel like you're being punished for doing so then with limited exceptions you might be projecting your own feelings onto the author's motives in a very uncharitable way (that is also pretty bad literary analysis).

6. Tragedies are badly written if the reader can see another way out and 7. General discussion of tragic flaws/hamartia as punitive - I don't entirely agree but I don't actually want to grumble about this, I want to make a separate post because I think both points are useful and illuminating ones wrt the nuance of what I'm trying to say about tragedy as a story structure.

[heloflor]

Rogue arc : An analysis of “Abducting Murphy’s law” ’s B plot

So, as I mentioned in one of my fics, I wanted to write a long ass thing about Cavendish’s arc in season 2. Well, here’s part one!

While I said that I wanted to talk about the arc, to be honest I mostly had this episode in mind. “Abducting Murphy’s Law” is not my favorite episode but it does have my favorite B plot (by B plot I mean Cavendish and Dakota). The reason why I love this plot so much is because there’s tons of stuff to talk about, hence this post. So yeah, when I said I wanted to talk about Cavendish’s arc, what I mostly meant was that I wanted to infodump about this episode. Although, I did make a second post about how the reconciliation didn’t feel earned, along with some comments about the arc in general, including how Dakota definitely has some dependance issues but, instead of addressing it, the show tends to validate his fears. I’ll make sure to post both parts around the same time so that, if anybody wants to add or talk about it, they already have all my arguments.

This first half will be in four parts : a short explanation of which scenes I will talk about, one small side note about Bob Block being the least trustable character in this show, one pretty long part about how Dakota is throughout the episode and finally another long part about Cavendish and his evolution during the episode. And yeah, I know I could’ve made the Bob Block part into its own post but for some reason my brain really wants to put it in this post so…

And because I don’t want people to scroll through such a long text to read a tl;dr , here it is now :

tl;dr : - Bob Block is an untrustworthy condescending creep.

- Dakota plays moral support and does seem to believe Cavendish but is mostly worried about what Cavendish is trying to do and is gently trying to get him to give up while trying to stay on his side, as if something like that happened before.

- Cavendish is desperate to prove himself and the world that he’s someone, so when nobody takes him seriously or believe him, he’s willing to take matter into his own hands to prove them wrong.

 As for the full post (warning : it’s VERY long) :

So first off, I will talk about four scenes here : the scene on the parking lot, the three scenes at P.I.G. (warning Block, the computer room and the argument in the armory) and the scene with Cavendish leaving. So basically, every scene with the duo except for the dialogue between Dakota and Heinz, mostly because there isn’t really anything interesting to say about this scene, except maybe the fact that Dakota drowns his sorrows in food but that was pretty much expected given his personality and the fact that he literally says in “Missing Milo” that he eats when he’s stressed. Also, leave it to Doofenshmirtz to be vague about why Milo was missing, making it impossible for Dakota to know that there truly was an abduction; just like how in “The Last Day of Summer” in PnF, when he asks Candace if she saw his nemesis, he conveniently doesn’t describe Perry to her.

As for the small part about Bob Block : I don’t trust that guy in the slightest. Firstly, like basically everyone who watched the show already said, this guy gives off a very creepy vibe that makes him scream “villain”. And his design with his teeth + the voice actor’s former roles doesn’t help. Also, I recently re-watched the B plot of “Milo’s Shadow” and Cavendish calls P.I.G. a “clandestine government agency”, and I’m a bit curious about the “clandestine” part.

Secondly, I’ve seen a few people say that Block was hiding something darker because he was “too nice to be a good person” but like…he isn’t nice ??? Not in the slightest ??? Haven’t you heard him talk to Cavendish and Dakota in episodes like “Disco Do-Over”, “Lady Krillers” or “Field of Screams” ? He’s extremely condescending to them. Seriously, he talks to them like they were toddlers. Like, you know that “baby voice” you take to make kids feel excited about something ? He uses the exact same kind of voice with Cav and Vinnie. And the fact that he speaks slowly or him killing aliens while telling Cav that he’s doing the important job doesn’t help with the condescending aspect.

Another thing that I noticed about him is that he tends to be in control of every discussion he’s a part of. In particular, he has a tendency to cut off Dakota when the two are talking. I don’t know why Dakota specifically but in my rewatchs I didn’t notice him do the same with Cavendish. And since we’re on the topic of him being condescending and cutting off : first, in “Walker, Runner, Screamer”, he hangs up on Cavendish without listening to him and secondly and most importantly, in “Parks and Wreck”, not only does he cut Dakota again but he also goes from “I’m 100% listening to what you want to tell me” to “Sorry I’m too busy” in like 5 seconds. Bob Block doesn’t care about them. He isn’t being nice. He’s a condescending ass who borderline gaslight them by pretending to be nice.

Another thing that I’d like to discuss about him is the fact that I’m seriously doubting that he’s related to Mr. Block, which is not reassuring because it would mean that he somehow learned about time travel and time agents etc. But yeah, about the relation with Block : Thing is, Mr. Block is at the head of B.O.T.T. and one of the judges of whatever their court system is. So in other words, he knows about the rules better than anyone. And while he does seem a bit immature at times and in canon went back in time to watch a movie he missed, I don’t feel like going back to meet his ancestors is something he’ll do ? I mean, we know that “don’t cross your own timeline” is a pretty big rule for time agents, and in “A Christmas Peril”, Block seems genuinely surprised to see his future self, which makes me think that he doesn’t do this kind of time-travel much. Also, if he’s willing to go back in time to meet his ancestors, why doesn’t he go back to buy pistachios ? So yeah, I know this is all speculation and for all I know he could have gone back in the past but there’s just something about his character and the situation that makes me go “would he tho ?”.

Also, while I completely agree that it can be possible, I’m a bit surprised about the fact that the family managed to keep the same last name for over 120 years. Like, did every generation had sons ? I know it’s entirely possible but would it happen here ? Or were there daughters who kept their last name after getting married ? Did Block really go back in time to meet his ancestors, leading to them wishing to keep the last name ? As for the physical appearance, aside from the hair, they don’t really have anything in common but it’s expected given the number of years between the two.

One last thing about Bob Block : In “Abducting Murphy’s Law” (you know, the episode that’s supposed to be the main focus of this post), there’s that moment with the character “Toodles” and I genuinely wished I had something to say about this moment, especially with the “I need to look like I’m going somewhere” line but I have no idea how to interpret it (and it’s frustrating honestly). So yeah, this line is here and it’s weird but I don’t know what to do about it.

  Now, onto the actual episode (this will be cut in different parts to make it easier on the read, especially for those who wish to read it but can’t take it all at once. So yes, this post is literally an actual essay) :

I. Dakota’s side

1. Emotional support

So in the first two scenes, Dakota does what he always does. I’ve mentioned it in this long-ass post but when Cavendish gets frustrated or angry, Dakota has a tendency to act more laid-back and chill as a counterpoint. I think a good example of that is at the end of “Walker, Runner, Screamer”.

During the entire episode, Dakota looks annoyed or unhappy and yet, in that scene, he’s suddenly smiling. And it’s something that he does throughout the entire show, as if it was his way of “soothing” Cav. And in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, that’s what he does at first. If you notice, when Cavendish gets angry after Block’s call and throw that metallic pick-up thing on the ground, Dakota closes his eyes for a good second. And when he reopens them, he starts talking about his lunch, going back into his laid-back role as if to try calming Cav down. This is also what he does after his rant a few seconds later, when he immediately offers food to Cavendish after said rant.

And speaking of that rant, I have a few things to say about it. First off, I do believe that Cavendish needed to hear that. Yes, it hurt his feelings, but given what happens during the rest of the episode, it does feel like Cavendish needs a reality check. Also reminder that this is the man who spent years dying ever so often; and on the island, some Dakotas look older than the one we follow in the show. So you’d think that after knowing about all these deaths, he’ll try to be at least a bit more careful. So yeah, while Dakota could’ve phrased things differently, I feel like this is something Cavendish needed to hear at some point.

Secondly, I can understand why Dakota would rant like that. Ever since the beginning of season 2, Cavendish has been complaining about his new job, ever more than the pistachios mission (for which Dakota also didn’t seem really satisfied, given how he easily follows through with Cavendish in “Time Out” and how he complains at the beginning of “Perchance to Sleepwalk”.). And when Cavendish complains, there are a few times like in “Disco Do-Over” or “Walker, Runner, Screamer” in which Dakota doesn’t seem to be very happy having to deal with Cavendish’s mood. Also, keep in mind that we see the duo like every three episodes and that just because they aren’t on screen doesn’t mean that they aren’t working. So for at least a month, given how each “show season” takes place during an “earth season” (if that makes sense), Dakota had to deal with working a shit job with someone who’s constantly complaining about it.

I’d also like to point out that, in “Backwards to School Night”, the line about Dakota not wearing much on Sundays and Cavendish not knowing about it hints that they don’t live together in the future. So that “constant roommates” situation could be new to them; and given how little they probably earn, it’s understandable that they’d rather keep this small “apartment” and share rent rather than splitting to go live in a different place each. In other words, Dakota doesn’t really have much choice but to live with Cavendish and hear him talk about saving the world everyday. Given all that, I’m honestly not that surprised that Dakota ended up snapping and giving Cav a piece of his mind. His patience was bound to run out at one point.

Side note : I’m not saying that Dakota is an easy person to live with compared to Cavendish. Honestly, they probably argued about money at some point due to Dakota’s eating habits and the fact that neither of them seems to know how to cook, so they have to eat out every day. I’m just saying that Cavendish is seen always complaining about his job and Dakota most likely hears him complain much more than we do. And no matter how much you like someone, hearing them say the same things over and over again get tiring. And besides, the argument could work in the opposite direction too. Maybe Cav is tired of Dakota never taking everything seriously; but much like Dakota, he can’t just buy his own place and live alone easily.

 Thirdly, I’d like to comment on this face :

Two things to say about this face. First, the most obvious, he’s sad for Cavendish. If the whole “being chill when Cav is angry” is any indicator, Dakota doesn’t like seeing Cavendish be sad or miserable. Besides, this guy didn’t spend years saving Cavendish and trying to always be by his side just to destroy his self-esteem later on.

Secondly, I can’t help but feel like Dakota is also thinking of his own emotions here. As said before, Dakota isn’t very happy with his new job either, as we clearly see in “Walker, Runner, Screamer” (I swear mentioning this episode is turning into a drinking game). While he’s still cheerful from time to time, he went from having a lazy smile as a resting face in season 1 to having a more neutral or tired expression.

But at the same time, Dakota doesn’t really express his frustrations, most likely because Cavendish is much more vocal than him and he’d rather help Cavendish with his emotions than work on his own, like a “you have enough frustration for the both of us” kind of way. After all, we see in season 1 that he tends to shut down and keep to himself, which led to all his frustration in the argument of “A Christmas Peril”, since he wasn’t able to tell Cav why his lack of consideration was making him so angry, especially when Cavendish calls him selfish.

So here, it feels like Dakota isn’t just feeling shitty because Cavendish feels shitty but he’s also dropping his mask and showing more of his emotions, here the fact that he isn’t happy about his current life either. But unlike Cavendish, he’s able to go with the flow and find some contentment in the smaller things.

 Now, about the scene at P.I.G.’s office : For the “support” part, there isn’t that much to say. When Block turns Cavendish down and the guy starts feeling bad, Dakota goes back to his supporting role. In a way, he’s acting like in season 1. Except that this isn’t season 1 and he can’t time-travel anymore. So when Cav starts talking about breaking the rules and risking their jobs, Dakota immediately considers his words a mistake and try to stop Cavendish from thinking too much about it.

  2. Opposition

So I’m going to cover a part of the last two scenes at P.I.G. . First off, the scene in the computer room. At the beginning, Dakota seems still pretty encouraging with how he reminds Cavendish of what he said about what the ship looks like. But quickly, he starts to make Cavendish doubt himself.

What’s really interesting though is Dakota’s phrasing. When he starts talking to Cav, he says “Maaayybe I suppose but are you really sure you saw what you saw ? I mean…” and then goes on with the reasons why Cavendish might have imagined it. But about that quote, what I find interesting is the amount of incertitude he puts there with the “maybe”, “I suppose”, “are you sure”. It really feels like Dakota is trying to discourage Cavendish from looking for the ship while at the same time trying to stay on his good side by doubting him but not too much. This actually makes me wonder if such a situation happened before, hence why Dakota tries to stay on Cav’s good side.

Side note : “This isn’t my running tracksuit, this is my eating tracksuit!”, he says as if his tracksuits weren’t all eating tracksuits.

 Then there’s the scene in the armory. First off, this face :

He keeps that same expression throughout the entire moment, both when watching Cavendish and the guard, and I don’t know how to interpret it, which is frustrating. My best guess is that Cavendish seems in better spirits, which reassures him or something like that. Or maybe the fact that Cavendish still wants to hang out with him to try finding the ship makes him think that Cavendish won’t ghost him. Really, I don’t see why he would smile like that only to start being frustrated again ten seconds later.

As for the argument in the armory; here I’m not going to talk about the main parts of the argument but a few things that Dakota says. Firstly, he again seems to try being on Cavendish’s good side with him saying “I believe that you believe”, though this isn’t enough to convince Cavendish. He also says “maybe we shouldn’t touch those” (not a direct quote) instead of just saying “we can’t touch those” or something like that. So again, he’s more into the “maybe you’re right maybe you’re wrong” area of the argument.

Secondly, I find the line “We’re stuck here. We live here now” really interesting. Like for at the beginning of the episode, this seems like Dakota showing more of his feelings. The way he says “we’re stuck here” first before catching himself and saying “we live here” shows again that he’s not happy with his current situation. Heck, it also means that he’s not just unhappy about the job but also being forced to live in a different time period than his, given that he says “stuck”. So yeah, he’s not happy about the situation and tries to hide it to make Balth his priority.

 Thirdly, there’s this expression when he leaves the room and tries to follow Cavendish :

(He looks like a kicked puppy I’m-)

So, when Cavendish leaves the room, he leaves behind an angry Dakota. And yet, barely a few seconds later, we see Dakota trying to follow Cav and his expression is filled with worry. This again makes me think that such a situation happened before, which would be why Dakota is so worried about not being at Cavendish’s side. Like, maybe at some point they had a mission that resulted in a terrible argument and Cavendish ended up trying to solve things alone, only to get injured or even die or something like that. And if something like that happened, that could explain why Dakota is now trying to convince Cavendish to stop looking for the ship without putting Cavendish against him and why he would look so worried when he realizes that he’s losing the battle; especially given how he can’t time-travel now. But again, this is all a complete speculation here. We have no concrete proof that such a thing happened before.

And since we’re on the topic of Dakota trying to be gentle in his approach : I’d argue that Dakota actually believes Cavendish when he says that he saw a ship. This is due to four reasons :

- They’ve been time-travelers for a while and probably saw a lot (just the “milk to death line”. Whatever this is, Dakota saw some shit.); the same way they met aliens a few episodes before this one. So seeing a spaceship wouldn’t be the most surprising thing in the world (Heck, P.I.G. literally has a computer showing all kind of ships they discovered; also the duo once went on the moon given the montage in “Island of the Lost Dakotas”).

- When they’re talking to Bob Block, the boss asks Dakota if he saw the abduction, and while Dakota says no, he starts saying “But if he says he saw it” before getting interrupted by Block.

- In the armory, when Dakota says “I didn’t saw what you saw but I believe that you believe and that’s” before getting interrupted. This line kind of gives off the impression that he does believe in Cavendish and so believe that Cav saw a ship. Though the “I believe that you believe” can definitely be seen as him not really believing him, just like with Cavendish saying “it’s like saying ‘I believe you’re hallucinating’ “

- In the scene when Cavendish leaves, Dakota says “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you in the way that you wanted me to.”. The fact that he adds the “in the way that you wanted me to” again gives the impression that he does think that Cavendish saw a spaceship. It’s just that Cav expects more than just a “I believe that you saw it”.

So overall, there’s the possibility that Dakota does believe in Cavendish. Honestly, the only thing that seems odd is the fact that Dakota doesn’t want to go and try to save the abductee. Though, given the fact that they’re risking their jobs and given the possibility of such a situation happening before, paired with Dakota’s fears for Cavendish’s life and the fact that he can’t time travel anymore, meaning that all of his actions have consequences; I guess it does make sense to some extent that Dakota doesn’t want to save the abductee. He worries more about Cavendish being alive and safe, especially now that he can’t go back. However, I’ll admit that the way Dakota just brushes off the possibility of someone being abducted and in danger does feel out of character. Although, watching “The Substitute” again, the two did leave the classroom without trying to do anything to help the kids against the blob; so honestly I don’t know.

This all leads us to the last part for Dakota :

3. The evolution throughout the scenes

So as I said, Dakota starts off trying to be supportive of Cavendish by being reassuring, but as Cav starts to be more and more absorbed by the idea of proving the ship exists, Dakota starts to distance himself from him by trying to convince him to stop looking. And then comes the last scene, in which all Dakota can do is try to convince Cavendish to stay with him.

Honestly, thinking about this scene, it feels like Dakota already knows that he lost the fight. When he asks “you say that sarcastically ?”, he just sounds tired. Also, there’s how his way of talking changes in the episode. At first, in the computer room, he tries to use facts to convince Cav to stop looking for the ship, talking about how there was some sunlight or how Cavendish got worked up. Then, during the argument on the armory, it’s kind of the same, although the facts that he gives are much more personal this time around with how he mentions that it’s a question of how their actions now have consequences and he can’t just fool around anymore.

Then, during the last scene at the “apartment”, he doesn’t even try to argue about the ship aside from his apology. Instead, he mentions his partnership with Cav and how they’re always able to talk things through, which actually reminds me of how in the scenes when they’re in private they act differently than in public, making it seem like they do communicate quite a lot by dropping their defenses around each other and vent to each other. Heck, the way Dakota says in this episode “We talk it out, we’re a team” really gives off the impression that yes, Cavendish and Dakota do talk things out when they have a big argument. And that’s what Dakota wants to do in this scene. He just wants the two of them to sit down and talk it out; no more running away, no more argument.

But yeah, in this scene, it’s not about the ship. It’s about Cavendish staying with him. And honestly, it feels like something that can be applied to how Dakota is throughout the entire episode. All he seems to care about is if Cavendish is going to stay with him or ghost him. Again, it kinds of falls into the idea that a similar situation happened before.

One last thing that I’ve written down is the fact that Dakota sutters while trying to convince Cav to stay in that last scene. But after watching a few of the previous episodes, Dakota actually has a tendency to sutter when he gets anxious or nervous. As a few examples : the ending of “A World Without Milo” at the beginning of his talk with Elliot, the crossover episode when Cav learns about the island, several scenes in “Escape” (Dakota’s such a mess in this episode).

 So that’s all for my breakthrough of Dakota’s part in this episode. Overall, he seems like he just wants to be with Cavendish, and for some reason seems to believe him while at the same time not trying anything to help the abductee. He’s protective, most likely due to the trauma of seeing Cavendish die over and over again for years. In short, that man has some issues that the show should really consider mentioning if season 3 comes around. But I will discuss more about these issues in my second post on the topic.

Now, onto Cavendish :

II. Cavendish’s side

1. Insecurities and evolution before this episode

So let me get this out of the way first : Cavendish is a very insecure guy, and what happened in “Abducting Murphy’s Law” was bound to happen at some point. We see glimpses of it in “Time Out” and “Abducting Murphy’s Law” seems to revolve around it : Cavendish is a guy who seems to have a pretty low self-esteem and who tries to hide it in his way to act all professional and “know-it-all/all-mighty”. We see it in how easily he gets sad in “Time Out” when realizing that his job barely matters, and we also see it when he’s in private with how soft he becomes. Just look at how, at the beginning of the Halloween special, he very easily agrees to follow Dakota’s plan and only calls Dakota a “meanie” for steaking stuff, which contrasts with his “Doughty snackhound” from “We’re Going to the Zoo”. He also shows his anxiety in “Snow Way Out” and is very soft and calming in “Perchance to Sleepwalk”.

So yeah, his attitude outside is more of an act than anything, though I’m not denying that he also gets grumpy because that’s a side of his personality (I wish I had any artistic talent so I could draw Cavendish with John Mulaney’s “When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting !”, including John talking about his wife after this line).

So all this to say that Cavendish is insecure. And because of those insecurities, he feels the need to prove himself. He wants to be a hero, he wants to feel like a hero, but he also wants others to see him as a hero. Again, “Time Out” shows it well with how quickly he gets obsessed at the possibility of a counter-agent working against him, nevermind the fact that it’s a literal child.

And we see it even more in season 2. Every episode, he complains about how shitty his life became and how unfair it is. In particular, there’s the episode “Free Fall”, his last appearance before “Abducting Murphy’s Law”. In “Free Fall”, he seems even more fed up than usual about his job, and when a drone attacks him, he’s immediately happy that someone, anyone, noticed him. The ending of this episode actually makes me feel sad for him. He’s just so desperate for something good to finally happen to him; and he does deserve better than that. It’s just sad.

It also feels like he’s starting to distance himself from Dakota during the first half of season 2. By that, I mean that they don’t have as much interactions as they did in season 1, which was full of their banter (which is what made them so entertaining to watch). Heck, in “Milo’s Shadow”, Cavendish is shown alone, without Dakota. And in this episode, Cav tries to tell others about the aliens and get some people concerned about it.

Also, he clearly tries to impress the others when telling his story, even if he doesn’t consider them much. As for the other episodes, Cavendish and Dakota are mostly concerned over their mission and as such aren’t seen interact much, aside from like the beginning of “Lady Krillers”; which is a bit of a shame considering how their interactions are the best thing about their plot (but I already have another post ready that talks about season 2 and its issues so I won’t rant about it here).

So in short, Cavendish is desperate for good things to happen to him. He’s desperate to prove himself, he’s desperate to have other people take him seriously for once, he’s desperate to have a better life than that. During the first half of the season, it feels like this is what they were trying to show. And it all culminates in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”.

2. His evolution throughout the episode

So I’m going to do one big part here, going scene by scene.

Parking-lot scene :

So, in the first scene, Cavendish is the same as in previous episodes. He’s not satisfied with his job and wishes for more, in particular recognition for his previous actions in season 1. He’s (rightfully honestly) having a hard time accepting that this is all he gets, and when Dakota gives him a reality check, it only makes him feel worse.

Then there’s the encounter with Scott. This one’s pretty interesting. Alright so first off, it seems that Cavendish considered what both Dakota and Scott told him and decided to try and stop sulking, trying to see a more positive side of his situation. Though, it’s very interesting how he says “but how ?” right before seeing the UFO. In a way, it also really shows the difference of mentality between him and Dakota. Dakota has accepted that this is all he’ll get, and while he’s not happy about it, he decides to try seeing the good in smaller things. Cavendish on the other hand doesn’t seem to be able to do the same. Heck, when Dakota does it at the beginning of the episode, Cavendish sees it as Dakota lacking ambition; which in itself isn’t actually wrong since Dakota really doesn’t seem to want much from life aside from having fun and being with Cav.

Then, there’s also the line “Loss can lead to new adventures”. What I love about this is how, when we start the episode, the “loss” is more about how Cav is feeling. I mean, even Cavendish says that he needs to stop sulking after hearing this sentence. But then we watch the end of the episode and suddenly “Loss can lead to new adventures” has a brand-new meaning. And ouch. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, but still, ouch. Though, to be honest, I do wonder if at some point during the episode, Cavendish realized that “loss” could also mean leaving Dakota behind. Honestly tho if Cavendish repeated the sentence during the separation it would have been some amazing angst. But I’m getting off-topic.

Afterwards, there’s the abduction. When Cav sees it, he reacts exactly like he did at the end of “Time Out” and “Free Fall” : he gets excited and touchy, ignoring what Dakota says as he’s too taken from seeing this as a new opportunity to prove himself worthy of a better life. Thinking about it, it’s actually both funny and sad how he seems to care more about people seeing the ship and promoting him than the fact that someone was straight-up kidnapped by aliens (what’s up with Cavendish and Dakota not caring about people’s lives in this episode ? Though, given how they were in early season 1, I guess they just don’t care for the people they don’t know, do they ?).

Though, Cavendish mostly thinking about a promotion does fit his character. Again, he’s now desperate for recognition. In the spun of the moment, it isn’t about someone getting abducted, it’s about him being a hero again.

One last thing that I want to mention, mostly because I don’t really know where to put it otherwise : some scenery regarding Cavendish and Dakota at the end of the scenes. Every single scene with the two of them in this episode ends with Cavendish leaving the frame without Dakota, with Dakota trying to follow him in the first and second scene. Then, starting with the computer room scene, Dakota is left behind, the first time by his own volition as he’s starting to be less and less able to follow with Cavendish’s mindset and get angry about it, then left behind because Cavendish is too far gone into his ideas and prevents Dakota to stay with him, no matter how much Dakota tries to follow him, desperate to set things right. That’s all I have to say about how the characters move into the frames, but I found that to be a very interesting detail.

  The P.I.G. desks + the computer room scenes :

Like for Dakota, I don’t have much to say about the second scene. Bob Block doesn’t believe Cavendish in the slightest (and is being a condescending smartass about it; god I hate this guy. He’s great as a character but my god I hate him as a person) and it leaves Cavendish sad and disappointed. But then, Dakota tries to cheer him up, which only prompts Cavendish to try acting against his boss’ wishes. It’s like I said earlier : they have the same mentality as in season 1 in which ignoring the rules had little to no consequences aside from a slap on the wrist, leading them to do what they wanted.

But here, this isn’t season 1 and their actions have consequences. Dakota had realized that and tries to call Cavendish off his goal, but Cavendish is too excited to listen to him. This is the same structure as “School Dance” or “The Little Engine that Couldn’t” in which Cavendish gets his mind set on something. And in these two episodes, Dakota simply follows him without complaining. Heck, in “School Dance”, when the kids confront them about the whole “vampire” business and say “We know what you’re up to”, Dakota replies “Really ? Cause I barely know” which shows that, in this episode, he basically blindly follows Cavendish around, not caring enough about his job to object when Cav wants to do something that goes against what their boss want.

So, because of how they were in season 1, Cavendish is used to act when his mind is set on something. And he’s also used to have Dakota follow him, which might explain why he sounds like he’s taking Dakota’s objections in this scene like a joke. After all, Dakota always let him have his way, even when he disagreed with it. So why should it be different this time around ?

In a way, Cavendish has a certain disconnect, not really realizing the consequences of his actions. I guess that may be due to his previous job or the fact that, with Dakota secretly protecting him all the time, it never occurred to him how badly things can turn out.

One last thing for this scene, about the dialogue with Block and Cav mentioning the need to save the abductee : it’s again a bit unclear whether Cavendish wants to save them because they’re a person in danger or if he’s only thinking about people discovering that he was right and making him a hero. Though, looking back at his facial expression, he does seem genuinely concerned for the person (and I’m actually starting to wonder how he would’ve reacted had he known that the abductee was Milo).

As for the computer scene, again, not much to say. It’s Cavendish focusing on the task he wants to accomplish while Dakota’s just there to be there. Again, we see Cavendish be too obsessed with his task to pay mind to Dakota’s objections. We also see him get irritated when Dakota objects, though not as much as later on, as if he could tell that Dakota wasn’t truly believing him but at the same time thinks that Dakota will keep following and supporting him.

Side note : Seeing Cavendish knowing how to use a computer feels really weird. Like, I know he’s from the future so obviously he knows how technology works without any problem, but this is a guy who walks around with an 1850s outfit and who keeps using outdated expressions. So seeing him use a computer just doesn’t feel right.

The armory scene :

Now we get into the juicy part.

Alright so first off, a side note : “I am a naughty boy !” Cavendish, buddy, please don’t ever say something like that again ! Although it’s pretty adorable to see that dork feeling like such a gangster after “breaking” one rule (I mean, he was allowed in by the guard so it’s not really breaking the rules).

Secondly, like in the first scene at the beginning of the episode, when talking about saving the abductee, he seems more focused on the fact that he’s a hero who needs to save the world. It really gives off the impression that he doesn’t care that much about what happened to this person. He just wants validation and uses the current circumstances to do so. Again, this is just sad (I swear making this analysis is starting to make me feel really bad for Balth).

Thirdly, the line “Come on, partner !”. At first, I thought Cavendish was trying to convince Dakota to help him by reminding him of how close they are. But thinking about it again, I can’t help but see it as Cavendish trying to convince himself that Dakota will help him. I mean, he definitely noticed that Dakota wasn’t ok with what he was doing, no matter how oblivious he seems to be to Dakota’s objections. But up until now, Dakota had a tendency to just shrug it off and follow. So seeing him be so insistent now may have made Cav realize that maybe Dakota won’t follow through this time. So he tries to convince himself that Dakota will come through for him, because they’re partners.

Fourthly, the argument itself. When Dakota starts to interject more seriously, Cavendish reminds him of the obvious : that, when they were time-travelers, Dakota couldn’t care less about the rules. But things are different for them now, actions have consequences, and Cavendish doesn’t seem to truly grasp that. Heck, after Dakota argues that they have responsibilities to keep, Cavendish immediately points the finger at him with the “You don’t believe me” line, which completely changes the direction of the argument. Seriously, Dakota was talking about how they needed to follow the rules to survive in this new time-period and Cavendish starts talking about something that has nothing to do with what Dakota just said. Although, given that these two have known each other for at least like 10 years or so, given how much Cav changed from his design in “First Impressions”, I guess him changing the topic like that might be due to him knowing Dakota well enough to understand that, when Dakota objects to him like that, it’s because there’s a lack of trust there.

As for the rest of the argument, I guess this is mostly Cavendish’s desperation and obsession that are speaking. I mean, Cavendish is never taken seriously by anyone aside from Dakota. So here, when Dakota doesn’t support him like he expected him to, this is probably the last straw for him. He isn’t willing to listen to Dakota’s excuses, cutting him mid-sentence. And if Dakota’s face is any indicator, he can clearly tell that Cav doesn’t want to listen and that he’s losing the battle.

Cavendish has made up his mind. He knows what he saw, he knows that aliens are on earth, kidnapping people; and if nobody, not even Dakota, is willing to listen to him, then he’ll have to prove them all himself, no matter the cost.

  The ‘leaving’ scene :

Then comes the last scene, with Cavendish packing his bags. Again, he isn’t willing to listen to Dakota. He made up his mind and he’s determined to find the UFO. As he says it himself when Dakota tries to apologize : “It’s too late for that”.

Though, as I’ve seen mentioned in a fic that was basically an analysis of that last scene, we do have Cavendish leave a teddy bear behind. The bear wasn’t on the couch when he was packing, so it’s likely that he felt genuinely bad for ditching Dakota and decided to leave a plush behind to keep him company.

Also, a thing that I keep bringing up in my fics : I truly don’t think that Cavendish wanted to leave forever. I mean, he probably only took the essentials in the bag he used; he probably has much more than that stuff. Also, I highly doubt that he would wish to never see Dakota again. Heck, in “Escape”, when they reunite, Cavendish is pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, as if he expected to see Dakota again. Overall, it’s more that he thinks that Dakota’s going to try to stop him or slow him down since he doesn’t really believe in him, so he wants to do this rescue alone.

And one last thing regarding Dakota : the whole “It’s safer for you to stay here”. I find this line really interesting. Because thing is, no it’s not safer. Cavendish doesn’t go alone to protect Dakota, he does it to prove a point, to prove that he’s right and everyone else is wrong. But thing is, Cav already has some pretty low self-esteem, and accepting the fact that he’s being selfish by leaving wouldn’t help with it. Also, as I’ve mentioned in my long-ass “fun facts about these two” post, when Cavendish is in a situation that’s possibly dangerous, his first reflex is almost always to worry about Dakota’s well-being. So, in my interpretation, Cavendish knows that he’s being selfish by leaving like that and ghosting Dakota, so he tries to tell himself to leave by convincing himself that he’s leaving the guy behind to protect him; because there’s nothing more important to him than Dakota’s safety, so it’s much easier on the mind to tell himself that he’s doing it for Dakota.

  Aaaand that’s pretty much all for this analysis, which is already a lot to take in (12 pages. This entire post is 12 pages long. 11 without the pictures).

Thanks for reading !

[vegetalass]

hcs of the gang being quarantined in one big house together maybe?? 🥺 lub ur writing

i lub u, anon!!🥺 sorry this took forever!

General 

Oh my godddddddddd

They had to stop doing movie nights because there was too much fighting 

They tried to set it up such that everyone got a turn to pick a movie but there were still complaints

Now, movies are viewed at random and the policy is that 

1. The TV is first come first serve

2. You have to announce when you’re using it

3. Anyone is allowed to join you 

This has stemmed into multiple people shouting “IM WATCHING _____” at random times

And yes, people will try to hide the remote (mostly Sean)

If they can find it, that is

The lines between public and private property have been blurred. Everything must be labeled or there is a chance someone will take it 

You can risk it, but it’s not recommended since they’re all dudes and will most likely eat anything 

And even with your name on a box of graham crackers, there’s still a chance someone will stick their hand it in and steal a few

All the dudes walk around in their Long Johns like it’s not awkward

They have to do their own laundry so everyone is missing socks

Or they have extras

And wet laundry is constantly being left on the ground if it’s unattended and someone needs the washer 

Arthur

This dude double dips 

He licks the spoon and puts it back in, too 

Gets yelled at a lot for this, but never remembers to stop

Everybody is afraid to touch all of the dips now because of this 

And Hosea has to start buying separate ones just for Arthur

He’s the one who takes 3 hour baths 

I imagine that there’s multiple bathrooms in the house but not enough for everyone so there are definitely times when people are like “WTF, Arthur you’re still in there?” or “Where’s Arthur?” 

Usually it’s Charles or John because they don’t mind sharing a bathroom with each other 

Cue Arthur having accidentally fallen asleep in the tub 

But yea he’s just chilling in there, otherwise

Started the quarantine off by trying to fix up the house… But immediately got lazy

There’s probably a number of things he keeps saying that he’ll “get to, eventually”

The only reason Dutch hasn’t called someone is because it’s a PANDEMIC

Technologically challenged 

Barely knows how to turn on the TV and still uses an iPhone 5 that has pretty much stopped working

John has given up trying to explain how to make things fullscreen on YouTube

Because of this, probably spends most of his time wandering around the yard and reading or journaling

Tilly even bought him some scrapbooking supplies, which he’s been trying to use 

Little washi tapes and highlighters because she knows it can’t get too complicated too fast 

She also makes him an Instagram account so he can take photos or post art

But figuring out how it works is a losing battle, and he never remembers to use it, anyway 

“I think we should get a pet” 

Everyone: “Arthur... Do we look like we take care of ourselves? 

If anyone tries to talk about how annoying the quarantine is, starts ranting about people who refuse to take it seriously

And the conversation ends up spiraling into him blaming capitalism for everything

John 

Every other meal he eats is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Doritos

He does that thing where he wraps a bowl or plate in plastic wrap so he doesn’t have to wash it 

Doesn’t clean up after himself

Leaves used tissues, slimy butter knives with PB on them, and crusty socks laying around 

Unluckiest of them all 

His snacks get taken the most, the bathroom is always occupied when he needs it, never gets to use the TV, his laundry is always moved, etc. 

Always ends up using the bathroom when there’s no toilet paper

Texts Arthur for help and then makes an announcement in the group chat about “common courtesy” 

Nobody replies

His texts are full of messages to Abigail that all say the same thing

“Help.” + “Please come get me” + “I hate it here”

They’re all left on read except for the occasional response asking if he needs anything from Target

The list he sends back is like four paragraphs long and it’s all dumb stuff 

He’s like “FaceTime me when you get there, I wanna go shopping too”

Doesn’t even really want to leave the house for necessities, so he has to do stuff like water down his soaps or steal other people’s toiletries just to prolong how often he needs to go shopping for himself

He’s the one using Irish Spring from the dollar store mixed with water or a block of orange Dial soap that hasn’t been touched in five years 

Charles tries to throw away an empty hand soap and John is like “THERE’S STILL SOAP IN THERE LOOK” *mixes water with it* 

Steals razors and Shampoo 

Thinks conditioner is “unnecessary” and “doesn’t do anything” 

Complains about being bored but doesn’t bother to do the things people that people offer

Charles 

Voluntarily becomes a recluse 

Not because he wants to but because everyone else is too annoying to deal with 

He’s forced to start using the internet and when he’s not on the computer he’s trying to block out the noise of the 8 other men he lives with just living 

Going on walks is his other hobby

Also probably buys one of those adult coloring books to color

Like Athur, Charles hogs the bathroom 

It’s not as bad as Arthur since he’s not in the tub for the whole time but he really will spend an hour getting ready in the morning for absolutely no reason 

If anyone asks about it he just tells them that since they’re in quarantine there’s no reason to rush 

But he does get yelled at if there’s no other bathrooms available 

Becomes a self-care connoisseur 

Walks around in a bathrobe and face mask just to try and achieve some sort of zen 

Literally the only one who doesn’t walk around half naked

Besides Hosea, the one of the only guys who tries to wake up on time and eat three healthy meals a day 

The house is entirely dark and he’s eating toast while Hosea makes coffee 

It’s awkward, not because they’re weird about each other but because no one else is awake and it’s quiet for once 

Dutch is the third person up and Charles leaves the kitchen by the time he’s around 

Gave up trying to do the dishes and only cleans what he uses

Sometimes if he feels like being nice he’ll do Arthur’s dishes, too 

But only if he gets something back in return, like Arthur doing his laundry or something

The only one who changes his bedsheets on the regular

Him and Kieran are the only ones trusted by Hosea to leave the house safely 

Micah 

Everyone is surprised Micah isn’t dead yet

Everyone is constantly fed up with him for something or for just being irritating 

And try to ignore him for the most part, which is hard

Tries to defends himself with “Well, you don’t have to bother me if you don’t want to” 

Doesn’t clean up after himself, either

John leaves more mess, but Micah does worse stuff 

While John just leaves his dirty peanut butter knives around, Micah does stuff like forget to put the mayo back in the fridge, leave the bread bag out and open, forgets to bring his used dishes to the dishwasher, throws his trash in other people’s trash cans, leaves his wet laundry in the dryer, etc. 

If it’s annoying and gross, he does it 

And tries to eat food that other people have made for themselves or don’t want to share with him 

Dutch is the only one who shares with him willingly

Does not pick up his hair from the bottom of the shower

And doesn’t clean the sink after he shaves

Honestly, I doubt any of the drains in the house work properly because so much shaving goes on 

It’s honestly surprising to everyone that he takes the quarantine seriously 

Accuses people of being sick even though all of them have barely left the house… 

Wears a mask inside when he’s feeling salty 

He doesn’t even care about the mask, it’s just to make people feel gross and bad about themselves

Besides Sean, he’s always trying to hog the TV

And everything he watches is annoying, pretentious, or both

Complains about there being “nothing to watch” despite always having something on and refusing to stop

Tries to smoke inside and literally always get busted for it

Even if other people are doing it too, he’s the one who doesn’t even bother to be by a window when he does it

His room is always off limits 

If you need something from him you need to knock and wait in the doorway

Also does the “You’re too close… Step back, please” thing

And if anyone gets mad, says it’s a pandemic and he’s just trying to be SAFE

Mostly does this to feel powerful

Turns in to Uncle Jr. with all the complaining and berating he does

Uncle is honestly offended

Hosea

The only person allowed to do the shopping 

He gave up trying to give people lists because the groceries they came back with were never right 

Either too few, too many, not the right stuff... You name it 

See here for more

That’s why, despite being the oldest, he’s the one who goes grocery shopping for meals twice a week 

Refuses to buy alcohol because of incidents that they’ve had

Can’t stop people from sneaking it, though

Similar to Dutch in that he gets annoyed when people oversleep, but because its quarantine, he tries to not mention it, and at the worst, gets passive aggressive 

Tries to make a chore chart for people to follow but it gets ignored

He ends up having to force people to do things by reminding them constantly 

He’s the one who starts opening people’s doors in the morning and turning on the lights

Makes everybody start eating on paper plates with plastic silverware because he’s tired of trying to make people use the dishwasher 

Arthur doesn’t know how, John doesn’t put his plates in the right place, Charles refuses to since no one else contributes to keeping it neat, Micah doesn’t even know they have one, Kieran also can’t fill it correctly... 

Basically, it’s too much for Hosea to handle 

His dinners are all Costco pre-made meals that can be made quickly 

Frozen lasagna and prepackaged salad type stuff 

He’s the guy who falls asleep on the couch sitting up while watching TV and if you try to talk to him he says “I’m awake” without opening his eyes

And if he’s using it, don’t even think about suggesting to change the channel 

The answer is and always will be no

Even when he’s not really paying attention

And it’s either on the History Channel or Discovery Channel

Always complaining about how cold his feet are

Doesn’t let anyone touch the thermostat

He’s an in real life Elf on the Shelf

Dutch 

If anyone, and I mean anyone starts sleeping in, he gets in a really pissy mood 

“While I’m up, doing work for you, you’re sitting in bed being lazy!!!” and “What do you mean you don’t understand why! Why should I have to tell you why wasting the day is annoying to all those who are working!” 

Even despite this, he can’t actually change the fact that no one wakes up on time

And it’s not like the work he’s doing for them is very important

He’s the one who thinks that a pandemic is the perfect time to be or do something useful

Eat healthy, write a book, pump iron… Anything

And when people complain about being useless he’s like “You have all this free time!!!1! Stop complaining!!! You can do anything!!!” 

And if he’s doing something he considers useful, yells at people who try to bother him 

Arthur: “Hosea wanted to know-”

Dutch: *doing sit ups* “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?” 

When it’s his turn to cook dinner, he’s making 8 boxes of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese in a huge pot and calling a meal

Literally the only meal no one complains about 

He won’t clean the pot when it’s finished, though

Literally just cooks and leaves it out for someone else to deal with

Another self-care aficionado 

Also walks around in a bathrobe and face mask 

He’s worse than Charles though, because while Charles wears pants... Dutch will be booty ass naked under his 

Also keeps trying to make homemade masks and scrubs and walks around in those, too 

He’s like “This is a good one, I can tell already” 

Everyone: “Dutch... is that... mayo... in your hair?”

Annoyingly good at monopoly

Does not invite Molly over and gets yelled at over FaceTime

Cue everyone eavesdropping on their arguments

Goes on power walks

Yells at people when they listen to loud music with swear words 

Honestly, always yelling at people

“Can somebody get me my slippers? Arthur? John? Hosea? AnYoNe!!!”

Kieran 

Spends the least time in the bathroom because he’s afraid of getting yelled at 

Does everything in five minute increments 

Except for showers, when he allows himself ten minutes

Barely 

Most of what he eats is just microwave popcorn and shredded cheese

He’s the one asking people if they want to go on “family walks” with him

Literally no one joins him 

Also tries to play board games with everyone

This goes a little better at least because Hosea will sometimes play and if he’s there, a few people will definitely join 

Very bad at monopoly

The most conscious about wearing a mask 

The others wear them but Kieran is the one who wears double masks, gloves, and carries around Febreeze 

Also will get mad if anyone forgets their “safety equipment” 

Or if they’re within six feet of him in public

Props to him though for staying healthy 

I’ve mentioned this before, but... Spends most of his time playing games on a big tablet wearing headphones

Candy Crush and FarmVille and Words with Friends and stuff like that

Though all of his internet friends are weird old ladies he doesn’t know 

Everyone is mad at him for sending non-stop game notifications, too

Hosea is the only one who responds to any of them 

He’ll never admit this, though

Also tries to start doing arts and crafts 

Mary-Beth started telling him about the various crafts she’s been doing, so he’s started trying to follow along, too 

Things like crocheting or popsicle stick art 

His stuff all looks bad, but he’s just happy to be doing it

And to be FaceTiming Mary-Beth

When he gets to choose a movie, he’s picking a “family-friendly” movie like Inside Out or Lilo and Stitch 

Everyone starts out being mad but they all end up watching the whole thing without complaining 

Heated debates ensue, too 

For example, like about whether Flynn should’ve cut Repunzel’s hair in Tangled 

“YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?” 

Charles + Arthur vs. Dutch + Bill

Makes meatloaf or Hamburger Helper like once a week

They’re basically the only thing he knows how to make 

Sides with Arthur when he suggests getting a pet

Wears a Snuggie 

Doesn’t change his socks 

Javier

Plays his own music very loudly and won’t turn it off or down if you ask 

Either that or he’s practicing guitar 

It’s not really that bad but when you can’t escape it.... People get mad 

The only saving grace is that the singing is usually in Spanish so it’s not as bothersome

The door to his room is always closed

Refuses to open it

To talk to him, you have to knock and then he’ll exit

Dutch is the only one allowed in and he thinks Javier’s rules about entering are creepy so never does it

Javier cooks his own food and won’t share

Only makes enough for exactly one person so even if he wanted to, there’s not enough

Eats dinner in his room to prevent people from bothering him or asking for some

However, he has the biggest stash of quarantine snacks… 

No one knows where he gets them

And getting him to share is like trying to do a drug deal, but he’s not against it as long as he gets something in return 

He didn’t personally cook all these snacks so the rules are different 

His room is full of scented candles to make it smell better since the whole house kinda smells like Boy 

Buys a gamer chair at the start of quarantine 

Claims it’s more comfortable than the office chair that Dutch and Hosea chose for everyone

Everyone is jealous

Wears fuzzy pajama pants only 

Sean

Sean is the one sleeping in

Never sleeps in his bed and just falls asleep wherever, basically

Usually the couch

Because he’s always snoozing, he’s the one who watches the most TV

Micah claims this isn’t “fair,” despite doing the same thing

And even if he’s not watching TV, he’s just using the couch to watch Tik Toks full volume 

Tries to make his own Tik Toks, but they either stink or no one wants to participate

Constantly having people get mad at him for recording them 

Stopped wearing clothes the moment quarantine started

Always in a tank top and his underpants 

It’s kinda weird 

People cared at first but by now they can’t be bothered to complain since they’re 

1. Used to it 

2. Probably start doing the same thing

Leaves his laundry laying around

Also won’t share anything he’s eating 

Gets mad when people steal food

Doesn’t address anyone in particular though, just walks around yelling about how “nobody has the common decency not to steal” 

Has food delivered almost every other day 

No one knows where he’s getting the money from, either

Everyone think it’s a waste

Mostly because he doesn’t share, but also because all hell broke loose when Hosea found out about an expense called “delivery fees” 

Also has a stick up his ass about wasting food 

Started yelling about this randomly, too 

If he can’t force someone else to finish leftovers, he forces himself to finish them 

Probably gets caught watching a certain type of nasty video a lot

Lowkey it probably happens to everybody at least once

Yells at anti-maskers 

Tries to wrestle the other boys and gets his ass handed to him

Bill

Possessive of everything 

Usually he’s not this bad but being cooped up with a bunch of thieves and liars doesn’t make him confident that his Circus Animal cookies will last very long 

Doesn’t share anything and very adamant about making sure there’s labels on things so nothing gets mixed up

Also makes his own space in the fridge with tape 

BILL’S SPACE DO NOT TOUCH 

And will start yelling in anything is moved 

Not as bad as Sean though because he only cares about his own stuff

The whole thing is super hypocritical though, because he definitely steals other people’s stuff

If he gets caught, claims “it’s only fair” 

Hosea has to buy him soap because he won’t buy it himself

Definitely the one who learns how to make prison hooch with cranberry juice and yeast

And the one who eats all of the ice cream 

Even the nasty flavors 

Wears the same clothes everyday because since he’s not working, “they’re not dirty” 

They start getting holes in them, though

If anyone tries to suggest something for him to do, he gets mad and claims he “knows how to entertain himself”

Also constantly accusing people of being in his space or business 

Ends up starting a ton of fights over this and then complaining about how mean everyone is to him 

He’s not doing it on purpose, though 

Ends up buying some kind of gaming console to pass the time

If he buys an Xbox, he shares with the rest of the boys

If he buys a nintendo switch, he starts playing Animal Crossing and doesn’t put it down for weeks 

Out of everyone… He’s the one who takes the pandemic the least serious 

He follows the rules because he doesn’t want to be eaten alive by any of the boys, but he probably thought the virus was a hoax at first 

He learned his lesson the first time he tried to go out without a mask and got locked in the car, though

Forgets to flush the toilet 

His room is dirty

[incarnateirony]

I went off on a rant to a friend about things like Gamble Era, and miscellaneous idolized past authors, and you know what, fuck it. I'm going to say it out loud. And listen, listen this is NOT going to be my normal "Whatever you like :)" post like, this is literally an accumulation of horse shit I've seen talked about in any and all lanes for years that have been driving me fucking bananas for years. Don't just read this going HAHA I HATE GAMBLE TOO and then be shocked when I slap at inexplicably favorited authors in this fandom beyond that.

------

God how can anyone genuinely like Gamble, like, literally, legitimately and 1000%, not even about her killing Cas or whatever, what kind of pure trash TV do these people intake in mass that they think Gamble was good at her job I can not emphasize enough how cripplingly disappointing the shift from S4-5 to 6-7 was I know art is in the eye of the beholder or whatever but JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

Fuck constructivist theory there's a point when things are just clearly trash Benefits S7 had: Just da bros uhhhh *flips through pages* Anything else? Are dick jokes art?

Her era was overrun by plot holes you could fly boeing jets through -- and I don’t mean shit like when fandom goddamn made up in their own damn head about an angelreaper retcon even though the reaper in the same episode they said was a retcon said the deadass opposite of what everybody fucking wound themselves up about, just deadass yawning voids -- it had unstable mechanics on previously established species shit, the villain plot was one giant monster of the week that tried desperately to go back to how they handled shit like Azazel as a threat but miserably failed, the monster had the dumbest weakness possible, the characters themselves were unstable in their characterizations and not even in that general "I don't like what the show is doing with them" but episode to episode Sam flipping from ripping Dean with laughter over gay jokes to woke-sounding sentiments

The cinematic style was gone and just vacant, it was neither the overexposed horror desaturated film nor the vivid fantasy of Carver, it just sat there like an unpolished lump

While later seasons also lost the classic rock vibe for budget reasons, that too disappeared in her era so we had no film energy, no story energy, no character energy, no villain energy, no structure energy, and we didn't even have the fucking cool tunez but we had dicks allergic to windex

It even lacked the elements that gave Kripke era value

Dusty americana died, all we had left was teenage girl fuckin emo sad boi drama And even that was miserably piss poor

I have never seen such a visionless fucking disaster successfully air an entire season on my fucking TV

I will never, EVER be able to outline what a fucking disappointment it was to go from S4-5 level show maturation into this negative embarrassment by season 7.

S6 Kripke was still around to some extent and that's the only reason I can deduce, S7 minded, there was any substance to it, even if her writing and editing crew at the time were a goddamn tire fire. And then people turn around and yell feminism if you criticise the giant fucking blazing slag heap that was her era and blame anyone and everyone but her and here you FUCKING go and she does half the shit all over again in the Magicians

(The friend replied: "The season only works in reverse, which is a crime on serialised TV (and just bad screenwriting)." )

That's just it though, it's like S7 we were suddenly back to fucking episodical TV like S1-2 because enough fuckbats yelled about Good Old Days. Only instead of ʷĤε𝕣є'𝓼 đα𝒹 or 𝐓Ħⓔ DεᗰＯᶰ 卄𝓐ｓ Ƥl𝓐𝓝Ş ℱⓞｒ Ⓜ𝔢 it was   ħ𝔞ⓗａ 𝓓ＩＣ𝐤ᔕ  🍆

I mean fucking sure this show started targeting late teenage women but Kripke had started maturing it forward and then Gamble fucking rolls along and it's like she's writing for 13 year old boys suddenly

Well I say that's what she seemed to be writing for but at the time the marketing was gross objectification going LOOK PRETTY BOYS WITH GUNS and that was it, that was the substance of what they gave a shit about and apparently the kind of demographic they thought constituted the sum of the SPN audience which, go get fucked guys, seriously. No fucking wonder the ratings got gouged in half over the course of a year. And fandom yells BUT FRIDAY DEATH SLOT but go sit and spin, S6 was friday deathslot too but before Kripke disappeared as the last thread holding SOME kind of cohesive value in the piece together in S6, that went to shitfuckhell in a handbag at light speed. People migrated to SPN Fridays S6 just fine. They LEFT season 7 and then people plug their ears if they don’t like that. And Carver had to fight all S8 to get it back, /but succeeded, and then-some./ 

oh and lemme head off fandom dumbfuck argument #72 about “well Dabb’s ratings are lower than Gamble’s were so he sucks and ruined it worse” go take your fucking ass and google “national primetime ratings decline” and enjoy exploring the last fucking 70 years of TV history. Pointing out a show crashes within a year because of massive failure is not the same as people being intentionally fucking daft sods to the TV universe’s decline over the last decade so like, don’t. Don’t be that person. Because you’re still embarrassingly wrong.

(The friend replied: "That's why I don't get why people care about what the vocal minority have to say. They *already* got what they wanted. It crashed and burned. Nobody in their right mind in corporate world is gonna be like, let's try that again, let's throw more money into that burning pit That's just not happening. Gay angels or no, it just ain't." )

I mean that should have been obvious when 1. Carver brought back Cas and pretty much immediately promoted him to Regular 2. Misha then got promoted to lead credits in S12, no matter what circles of intentional, willful ignorance fandom argues about what the credits mean for petty piss fights

"LOL & MEANS HE'S LESS IMPORTANT" Shut the fuck up and sit down you basement dwelling shitlord, go watch the A-Team, tell me how Mr T is the least important character

Also unpopular fuckin opinion Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are not That Great. Compared to what they were SURROUNDED with they were exceptional but Berens and Yockey could run circles around them both. They just happened to give fandom shit they liked during dark times so it made them fun. Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are basically the baseline value of our current writing team on random names. Give me Robbie Thompson and give me Davy Perez and I see no fucking difference. People compare Edlund to Yockey because of certain shit he pulled off but like, no? If there WAS a comparison it’d be like, Meredith, and even then I can’t see any way Edlund is substantially better than Meredith but could list the other in reverse?

But if we're talking about being able to write pieces with more than 1 or 2 layers of impact I'm sorry, it's rose colored glasses that makes people idolize them

Like if people seriously objectively fucking sat and reviewed the methodology and substance of their past idol authors to the demonstratable level of the current crew where I am DEAD ASS HAVING DISCOURSE WITH THE EXEC PRODUCER ABOUT BAUDRILLARDIAN CONCEPTS AND DELILLO in the middle of a hypercomplex postmodern two-directional commentary piece on some scaffolding of sociopolitical representation commentary that SAILS past the level the ‘activists’ in this fandom think about, literally, what people like is Gay Shit They Got lobbed at them or shiny visuals. And you know what, whatever, sure, like what you like IDGAF but don't sit here like Thompson was some fucking Shakespeare. No, your fucking "meta" you -- you, in any lane, anyone, any ship, anywhere, ever -- wrote by COMPLETELY randomly associating whatever storyline you could staple on to try to pretend the text was doing what you want at the time -- is not the same as author intent and actual weight and merit to the cohesive structure of what they build.

YES YES I KNOW, Death of the Author, someone just popped that up in their head, like the ten thousand posts I've made over the last 209349 years addressing how people abusive the fuck out of the term and that's fine, interpret shit however you wanna make it do jumping jacks but don't sit here entering the time you attached Little Bo Peep as some sort of intrinsic value to Dean trying to find Sam in 1492 and act like that's some deep critical shit the authors thoughtfully laced into the piece, these are not the same fucking conversation.

Big hollow voids of statements doesn’t make a better author, it makes you bust your ass harder to actually give any sort of consequential meaning to the piece, and that has nothing to do with the quality of the author or text themselves, that has to do with your interpretation in a piece devoid of genuine thematic subtext so people desperately try to bobby pin some bullshit together. Which also is probably why this fandom can’t tell the difference between coding, interpretation, subtext, and text for their fucking life anymore.

Protip the entire goddamn writing room is pouring that gay shit in your cup that's been triple brewed above Robbie or Edlund’s pots and people are still complaining it isn't enough

Another point that drives me up a wall, "LAZARUS RISING IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER" okay like lmaooooo what the fuck are you smoking Was it impressive as fuck at the time yes it was. But again, fucking perspective. I literally went back and watched it like a month ago and I realized it was a fucking void of content compared to our modern writing, it just had one of the most impressive entrances, it DID have good directing (YES MANNERS WAS GOOD, NO DISRESPECT), and it introduced a character everybody loved. Dean was still a halfass caricature

You wanna know why everybody made that shit gay right away Because there was no fucking substance around it it was a wallpaper of a cool looking episode that was otherwise blank space to run around in on dialogue they should have thought to construct better if they didn't want it to be gay

And sure since then the author room has picked up the big gay ball and started actually turning it into some shit which, great, but this is yet again a matter of structure and intent versus throwing rotten pasta at the wall and seeing if the mold makes it stick. I don't care if you have a vegan recipe that converts the fucking mold on the pasta into a healthy sauce base that isn't what it was thrown at the wall like, and no amount of complimenting the original chef's moldy pasta means it was some tasty shit before you added 10,000 ingredients they never fucking thought about or at least a second chef came along and figure out what to do with the pile of goo.

Fandom would stop being this miserable fucking putrid stinkhole if people would collectively apply some goddamn perspective to the content they argue about before even bothering to engage with uwustiel/cest dot tumblr dot com in irrelevant argument #9238428934 they use to fence off whether they should enjoy the content or try to explore it for its value or not because there is NO. MORE. PERSPECTIVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S FINE TO EVEN ADMIT YOU LIKED THINKY-FREE TV, THAT’S FINE, THAT’S YOUR RIGHT.

But don’t SIT here acting like a lot of these former train wrecks were “better authors” or somehow objectively “better content.” No like, you like not thinking about shit that much and staring at pretty boys or whatever, good on you, but you literally like, objectively, some of the shit I’ve seen go down is like genuinely trying to compare a toddler’s fridge art to a Vasarely and hold them both up in front of people who do art for a living. They ain’t gonna shit on the kid’s fridge art, but they’re gonna go “awwwww she’s gonna grow up to be a great artist!” before breaking down on Vasarely’s vector illusion shit, sorry, that’s just how it be. I’m sure the kid had some sort of vision to drawing the triangle over the square that kinda looks like a house but the hypercomplex thought processes simply aren’t there. 

Just people STUCK in weird idolization of shit that is so far past irrelevant to the current piece in play and fighting to win arguments while trying to convince themselves they're right and secretly dreading how titanically failboat wrong they are ignoring the sound of the glacier having ripped through their hulls SEASONS ago. The ice water has already leaked onto the fucking DECK and people are still arguing about completely ridiculous shit or fancying things that were 1/10th of the value of the current content they're claiming isn't good or enough or valid compared to the shallow specters that birthed them out of old aeons. 

Dead-ASS Kripke picked shit because it “sounded cool.” I’m sorry if there weren’t some model guys fandom wanted to hump everybody would be making fun of the fedora-tipping mindset that probably is where the fucking trenchcoat came from and may have debated giving Cas -- sorry, “CASS” because “COOL” -- katanas. But sure. Way, way deeper and more intricate than the Jungian intertextual post modern piece that’s so tightly knit it’s making fandom unwittingly comment on themselves.

I thought people grew out of that shit when they were like 16 unless they were incels

(My spidey senses detected someone unironically preparing to inform me about stealing borrowing the imagery from Constantine on reflex, because you know, that’s some peak intertext right there.)

Dead ASS that writing logic is that motherfucker that wanders into your freeform RP server with Spawn knockoff miasma chainsaw arms under his leather trenchcoat shooting twin Deagles with a vague story of wanting to face his demon overlord father that’s written like a looney tunes villain, in the middle of you cowriting with your lit-savvy friends trying to make a fun fantasy adaptation rendering fascism and corporate america and then he gets upset when nobody wants him to shit lightning -- /fight me/.

SERIOUSLY FOLKS. WANNA ENJOY THE SHOW AGAIN? GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. LET GO OF FETISHIZING WEIRD WARPED MEMORIES AND LINES OF ARGUMENT INSIDE YOUR OWN HEADS ISTG IT'LL HELP.

The day I find an argument that makes season 7 legit good TV rather than, at very best, “fun junk TV I had a cool ride on”, that does NOT involve evoking arguments distinctly born out of petty shipping culture arguments and/or (generally the same) attaching their own shit with a stapler to MAKE it have some sort of meaning at the time it was airing (rather than later showrunners making it add up to something), I’ll eat my fucking arm.

𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴. Carver era had already gone through dramatic changes that deepend the scope of the show and even then, 15.09 Bobo’s The Trap held more ACTUAL commentary on this fandom than Thompson’s Fanfiction episode did as a supposed fandom-commentary episode much LESS 15.04 as an actual meta framed episode. Fanfiction was like 4 years behind and completely fucking unplugged, whereas the base of the show itself is more integrated now in these dynamics than any attempt at meta episodes back then were.

old days it took one goddamn episode of dreaming for people to 1. start talking about Freud and 2. pretend the whole everything after that was some Freudian masterpiece even when, if it were, it would have been an entire avalanche of dropped balls. But two seasons of direct citations and literal manifest avatar-bodies of Jungian psychology elements and it’s hard to pull more than a peep out of the fandom about it because they’re too busy yelling about tulpas or sirens from before most of the people around here hit puberty.

𝓕 𝓤 𝓒 𝓚

furthermore why does anyone that idolize season 7 for what they think fits their bill think season 15 is gonna end how they want when they’ve been taking the piss out of season 7 over and over and over and over again IN THE TEXT as being dumb as SHIT

𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋

WHY SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT

TO WIN TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS? THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY LOSING FROM START TO FINISH?

actually you know what

rolling back to the whole “empty/subtextless stuff making people bust their ass” seems to be what you miss. Saying, “I miss empty, shallow, shitty writing” doesn’t really sound as good though so we change “what I like” into “this is talentless trash” it postures better, but it seems to be the people who have objectively fucking refused core tenets the show has evolved over the last 7 years, most explicitly the last 3-4, and absolutely refused to soak them in the form they deliver in. And they’re mad. Because it isn’t hollow. They can’t run around in fucking blank space and plug absolute horse shit into the voids and then posture like they’re supreme in this noncommital wasteland. Because everything’s built out and structured in and loud as fuck and people are debating the actual installed and even dogmatically cited work of philosophers driving the ideology of the show now and they can’t get away from it, and/or actually have to pay attention to the whole show and think about it all as a picture instead of the parts they want, so it’s “bad.”

I just sensed like 50 readers shoving their foot into that shoe. Good.

Jesus christ I’m pretty sure that’s what it is in hindsight after yelling all of this. These characters can’t be used as sock puppets anymore that people can win bullshit arguments unless they literally delete the entire principle of the modern show -- and this goes for MULTIPLE lanes really, each in their own way -- so now it’s “bad.” And that’s just not how this works.

[diningpageantry]

No Wait Unblock Me

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43133210

Chapter 2/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1580

Chapter Summary: Simon and Baz finally get to "mutuals" status.

BAZ

For the third time today, I see a similar notification slide through my drop down.

bi-sammy sent you a picture

Part of me initially wants to sigh, roll my eyes, and swipe it away, because apparently part of me wishes to be alone for the rest of my life. Thankfully, the reasonable, tiny sliver of my mind makes sure I don’t make such a mistake.

Given the situation, one would think we’d parted ways. He makes a post, we stop the argument, all is fair in fandom and war. Except, now I believe Snow has grown under an impression that after one exchange, it qualifies us for somewhat of a friendship, and therefore reason to send me memes. Don’t get me wrong, memes are a fantastic waste of time and barely a waste of energy, but it’s strange that he’s not fucking off like most people.

Maybe I’m used to others being scared of me.

Maybe I’m used to others following my tactics of scaring them away.

Whatever I’ve done hasn’t worked, since this arse is immune to my attempts at coldness and mild animosity. I’m starting to suspect there’s something genuinely wrong with him, like he doesn’t get enough love and attention.

Guess that makes two of us.

I guess I somewhat crave this friendship. I’ll speak the truth to that and say yes, I smile when his memes pop up. They’re almost always fandom, and definitely made on Photoshop. This one, I see as I tap and let it load, is the crudely drawn Kirby graphic shoving burgers into his mouth, but over Kirby is photoshopped a picture of Huxley’s face and the burgers are Sam's ass.

It’s all poorly done and, sadly, extremely endearing.

My thumbs hover over my keyboard, cheeks creasing as I stare down at the picture. I lay back against my pillows, the curtains drawn and my hair pulled out of my face. It’s quite lonely; my life’s a sterile mixture of quarantined education and age old settled dust in my ancient room. It’s nice to have his somewhat obnoxious messages pop onto my screen, but it feels so odd. So foreign, and barely understood.

I want to understand.

gaystrell: why are you still messaging me?

I get an answer not even a minute later.

bi-sammy: do you want me to stop?

I don’t even hesitate to send out a reply, feeling a steadily growing lump in my throat, choking me mindless.

gaystrell: no.

bi-sammy: then why did you ask?

gaystrell: i just

gaystrell: don’t get it

bi-sammy: get what?

gaystrell: why you’d want to talk to me

bi-sammy: because youre cool

gaystrell: vexing me won’t get you “street cred”, if that’s what you’re after

bi-sammy: shit no wait that’s not what i meant

bi-sammy: dont block me fukc wait

bi-sammy: id just meant that you wrote all that shit and i thought it was really cool and

bi-sammy: i dont know

bi-sammy: i thought we could be friends since you did all that

bi-sammy: ill stop if you want me to

gaystrell: calm down you’re clogging my notifs

gaystrell: do that again and i /will/ block you

gaystrell: but………. if you actually do want to be friends i suppose i’m willing to give forth a little attention

bi-sammy: im osrry i dont speak posh cunt

gaystrell: too bad, blocked

bi-sammy: no wait unblock me

gaystrell: fine last chance

bi-sammy: bitch

gaystrell: b l o c k e d

bi-sammy: no but,,,,,,, i do want to be friends

I’m smiling like a fucking loon, scrolling through our brief exchange. It’s strange. Most people aren’t upfront about wanting to talk, or wanting someone to talk with. Wanting a friend, even. I have the people follow me and ask me questions, and of that only a small handful of those who actually interact eith me (and even in that, we usually only speak to give each other a helping hand).

And despite that, here’s someone who wants to try.

I suck my lower lip into my mouth, trying to think of my course of actions.

There’s a simple one I can take now (and probably should’ve taken as an initiative). I click his icon, and click “Follow” on his page.

It doesn’t take very long before I get a notification come through, starting that he mentioned me in a post.

It isn’t very long, but it gets its point across in the best way possible. It’s just a mobile screenshot, reading “gaystrell started following bi-sammy” with a quick caption.

god himself entered the groupchat. how do i block him?

SIMON

I wonder what it’d be like to see me in the moment. It’s a real shame Penn wasn’t around to capture it, since I’m in the middle of French class, but I must’ve smiled so stupidly that it caught the attention of the professor. He gave me a stern look until I set down my mobile.

The moment he turned away, I opened it back up and grinned.

At first, I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Him. Following me.

Us. Mutuals. Mutuals.

Of course I had to screenshot and post as a brag (barely humble, more metaphorically sucking my own knob for all my followers to see). Nobody really cares, as expected.

Well, nobody except the single message from none other than Mr. Bitch.

gaystrell: blocked. unfollowed. reported. waste of space.

My smile creases back my cheeks as they flush pink. I send back a quick message before turning my mobile over, foot tapping double the speed of the analogue on the wall.

bi-sammy: ;)

BAZ

He winked. Interesting.

I’m out of breath.

Fuck?

I lay my phone flat away from me, face down as I squint at my wall. I should respond in a composed fashion. I have to be clever, and not one-upping him is never an option. After all, does this qualify as flirting? Friendly banter? What am I doing with this random fucking bloke that I don’t even have a face to put to?

He’s my age. Roughly. Yes?

I check his tumblr again, as if I hadn’t just read his bio earlier.

simon // he/him // 17 // hold my fucking hand (please)

Maybe he’s just straight and I’m misreading it. Yes. Probably. Aren’t most people straight? Is that still a fact? (I highly doubt it, given how boring that must be.) But he winked at me. Somewhat prompted, I’ll give him that, but it was still a fucking wink.

I wink in texts to Dev and Niall too, though, but that’s different, isn’t it? I’d never snog either of them (especially fucking Dev), but hey. If unfaced internet boy asked for a snog, would I?

I’m too wrapped up and starved for human interaction to properly deal with this.

gaystrell: i will carry on with my threats, snow

There it is. Perfectly biting, while not being entirely rejecting. Maybe I’m better at this than I thought.

Or, perhaps, I’m worse, because even an hour and a half after sending the text, he’s silent.

I remind myself every few minutes that he most likely attends an actual school and has classes, but it makes my chest ache in the most unfair way every time my mobile tempts me with an unrelated notification.

I work myself to the point of moping down in the kitchen, slumping against the fridge whilst watching Vera make tea. She’s relatively silent, knowing better than anybody to leave me to sulk.

“You’re a drama queen,” she tuts, looking over me. Granted, I dress like a slob and borderline haunt this godforsaken mansion, but I feel as though that makes me entitled to being the way I am.

“I’m lonely,” I sigh, head resting against the fridge. It hums beside me, the chromed metal cooling my cheek. “Am I not granted a dramatic spell every now and then?”

“Not unprovoked.”

I set a hand against the handle, then let it drop. I’m not hungry. “What if it was provoked?”

“Is it?”

Instinctively, I pull out my phone and click it on. Nothing. “Perhaps.”

Vera frowns at me, walking over and setting a hand on my arm. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”

My eyes slowly roll as I push myself off the appliance, standing upright. “Physically, yes. Don’t fuss. It’s just… online shit.”

“You spend too much time on the phone,” she sighs, letting go and going back to the tea as she fixes me a mug. “Don’t you think you’d be happier to disconnect from social media for a day or two? Go on a walk, see nature?”

I snort, looking outside. “And what? Trip and bust open my knee? That’d wind me back up in care for at least a few days.”

“You act like you’re made of paper and glass.” She offers over my mug, letting my fingers wind around the handle before she shakes her head.

“I might as well be,” I huff down before thanking her and blowing on my tea.

Once I leave back up to my room, I realise it's somehow more depressing in here over the kitchen with Vera’s disapproval of technology rantings. At least she’s some sort of company.

As I’m sipping my tea, I go back to scrolling on my laptop as a notif pops up, jarring me with the sound but letting me breathe again.

bi-sammy: why do you know my last name smh

I exhale slowly, smiling to myself.

gaystrell: you commented on my google doc, you idiot

[tessatechaitea]

The Extremist #3

I'm disappointed that this half picture doesn't match up exactly with the half picture from Issue #2.

It's probably good I didn't post any of the blurbs that tried to bribe him with a handjob in the backroom of the Portland Comic-con.

Anyway, let's see what happened in "July, Nineteen Ninety-Three"! I'll try to baby it up so Tumblr doesn't shit its diapers.

Peter Milligan begins this issue all Peter Milligany.

Remember that this was written in 1993 when Peter Milligan makes mention of how a person could, at some point, be alone in anything. But also imagine now how the death of an intimate would go in 2019. Back in 1993, Judy is surprised to find that she's whisked away from her grief for long interludes by the bureaucratic machinations of a death in a capitalist democracy. This same kind of thing probably still happens except with more texts and emails and less phone conversations and driving to speak to people in person. But also imagine the non-bureaucratic side of death. We probably have far less close intimate contacts in our physical space now than we had in 1993, at least by percentage when compared with all people we would consider contacts (intimates who now live in another part of the world, people we know only from online, friends of friends we've maybe met once but now sometimes interact with over social media). In 1993. it would be phone calls and personal visits with flowers and cake or cookies. In 2019, you probably receive a deluge of crying emojis and people replying "*hugs*" to your post about your world crumbling beneath you as you try to stagger on with your remaining years bereft of the person you thought you could never live without. I suppose there are plenty of apps where people could send you cakes and cookies so I suppose it wouldn't be too terrible. Should I create an app that sends cakes and cookies to people when they've lost a loved one? It wouldn't cost anything. You'd just have to send me a small cake and some cookies with every use of the app! I can't wait to get extraordinarily fat! The journey is going to be so worth it!

Grief is a savory, selfish feast.

Peter Milligan has a way of expressing potent, terrible truths in such a casual manner that most people probably don't even notice them. There's an almost expressible power in believing you're experiencing something that nobody else has or will ever experience. Or just in knowing that you lived a part of your life unknown to your closest friends and family. I cherish, greedily, the moments of my life spent alone and far from those closest to me and I parcel them out as stories in only the most meager of manners. Hell, I've probably told more about myself and my experiences here on this blog exactly because I know my friends and family don't read it. I might say this every commentary until this series is over but I still don't know if I understand the point of the overall plot. But I do understand that the plot is a way for Peter Milligan to be Peter Milligan. I understand the need for a framework to say things you want to say. Or to just put scenes out there that you don't want to bother encasing in some kind of larger whole that you're less interested in. So here's another scene Peter Milligan had to have thought about and then needed a place to mention it:

Of course people still get horny for their dead partner! But how often does anybody talk about it?! Maybe it's common and I'm just consuming the wrong kinds of media. Alex Trebek never once asked a contestant if they jerk off thinking about their dead spouse!

Netflix's Dead to Me has some pretty frank discussions about the loss of a spouse but while Christina Applegate talks about being horny and wanting to fuck somebody, I don't think she ever says she masturbates thinking about her dead husband. If the point of this story is about dealing with loss, I'm beginning to get it. And that would completely explain why I missed it at twenty-one. I'm only three pages into this issue and it's kicking me in the face with existential issues. Was I too dumb at twenty-one to understand any of this or just too sheltered to really feel it? Maybe I was just too fucking young. Judy finds the key to Jack's Extremist apartment. After looking around the place, she thinks, "It was like having Jack die all over again, but this death seemed more profound. 'I never knew you,' I thought." It's an easy statement to point out that nobody ever really knows anybody. But once, because Jim Starling wrote a terrible run on Stormwatch, I wrote an entire rant about how we all hide our innermost dark secrets from even the greatest loves of our lives. I was essentially asking how can we know anyone if we won't even let those closest to us know our most vulnerable thoughts and terrible crimes (I don't mean crimes in the law and order sense! I just mean like that time you put your finger in your ass and then made sandwiches for your friends and they all got sick and you didn't do it on purpose but you made the connection and nobody must ever fucking know! You know, those kinds of crimes. But not that specific one! I totally just made that one up for effect). So I could repeat myself or just link to the rant or just (and — Spoiler! — this is the choice I'm going with!) move on to page five of this comic book. Judy discovers an old diary written by The Extremist (but not Jack!). Then she finds some of the tapes he burned and salvages a few. She hears Jack speaking about murder and getting pissed on and, most appallingly, calling her "poor dull dead little Judy." She smashes the place up, finds The Extremist's gimp suit, and tries it on thinking, "What the fuck?! Maybe I'll feel sexy and start speaking in sex metaphors!" Then the phone rings. And I suppose the rest is history! And by history, I mean Issue #1! Except I'm only on page seven so maybe I'm jumping the gun. I guess we need to learn how Judy met Patrick and why she decided her life would be better by going out at night murdering people until she comes hard in a leather suit. Oh, I hope that last sentence wasn't too adult for Tumblr! A bunch of pages are taken up by the plot stuff that I apparently paid the most attention to in 1993 and which is the least interesting part of the story (so far!). Patrick "accidentally" runs into Judy and he pretends he doesn't know who killed Jack. He offers to help her find out if she'll pose as The Extremist and do murders and blow jobs for him. Judy is all, "What the hell! Maybe I'll understand Jack a little more! Maybe I'll know why he needed a boring piece of shit like me when he was having such fantastic fuck and murder adventures!" No wait. That's what I would say. Judy just wants to find out who killed Jack and to, maybe, feel a little closer to him. I don't think she's as amped up as I would be about the loads of indiscriminate sex and murdering of the most perverse perverts. The main story ends with Judy making her first kill. She learns that her problem was that she was always living in the past and the future. So even if she had wanted to kill somebody in the moment before, she'd be all tangled up in the past and whether the person deserved it and maybe some of it was her fault and perhaps she's been too hasty with her murder decision. And she'd also be lost in the future like how the person will stop existing and how she might wind up in prison and how the victim's guts are going to be hell to clean up off the floor. But in the moment, she can just satisfy the need without consequence or conscience! She discovers it's a thrill! Well, I could have told her that! I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons since I was ten! Never worry about what the orc did or if it deserved it or if it has family or if you're actually the asshole raiding its lovely home! The actual issue ends with Tony, the black guy on the stoop, sitting in The Extremist's apartment listening to Judy's tapes. He's just finished the last one where she says she's going off to kill Patrick and he's completely caught up in the drama. He wants to know who killed who just as badly as, well, not me but I'm sure some readers were on the edge of their seat at this point. The Extremist #3 Rating: B. I don't find myself caring about the framework. But Peter Milligan has thoughts and those thoughts are well worth the admission price to this story. In a way, this is just an extension of his run on Shade the Changing Man. It's almost the same story if you squint your eyes and unfocus your vision and punch yourself in the genitals. Patrick is the guy on Meta who was pulling the strings to get Shade to go into the Area of Madness and eventually Earth (I forget his name! I bet it was Patrick!) And The Extremist is Shade and Kathy too (they both have similarities to both Judy and Jack, so I don't mean to say either Shade or Kathy is essentially one or the other). The Extremist has crazy missions where they kill and fuck just like Shade and Kathy had! I think. I mean, probably! And Tony is just Lenny in someway that I haven't spent any time thinking about but they were the only characters left!

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 3x15 Consequences

aka Faith meets Denial

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And today’s episode deserves a scene-by-scene line-by-line analysis, going through all the meaty character stuff as well as the future implications this will have for our characters. Which this post won’t be. So you should probably just rewatch the episode yourself and listen to someone else talk about it for like 2 hours.

So, yeah. Consequences.

I really like this episode. Perhaps even more so than Bad Girls. The tense character drama that’s going on with Faith and Buffy is captivating, and even watching the episode for the 10th time you wonder… Can they get through to Faith this time around?

And while it may seem like Wesley’s interference is potentially what pushed Faith over to the dark side, I wonder… Did it really? Sure, we know from future knowledge that Angel has the capacity to get through to Faith, but there’s no guarantee that it would’ve worked here and now. Because it’s not Angel who’s Faith’s anchor at this time.

It’s Buffy.

And Buffy is fighting for her as much as she can. The episode ends with her finding Faith, and the two of them saving each others lives. And Faith is accepted back into the group, despite everything.

Buffy is reaffirming time and time again that she’s not giving up on Faith.

But Faith has already given up on herself. She would rather become the bad guy than accept what happened. Because then she’d have to deal with the repercussions, both out in the world and just mentally.

If Faith’s a bad guy, then what she did doesn’t matter. She did it because she’s bad. That’s just who she is now. A bad person who does bad things and doesn’t need or deserve help.

In that way, Faith can’t see herself as one of those good people Angel’s describing in his speech.

Angel:  You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Another character that I was reminded of as I was watching Faith doubling down on all her worst impulses, hurting the people around her and spiraling towards a point of no return, all so she wouldn’t have to deal with what she was feeling… was Willow.

So when they were talking about how maybe someone other than Buffy could try and talk to her out of the gang, I was briefly considering the potential of Willow giving it a shot. Except of course for the fact that Willow’s feelings on Faith are pretty much on par with how Xander feels about Angel.

Willow:  Can I... I'm just wondering. Why? I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people. But she murdered someone and accused Buffy. Then she hurt Xander. I hate to say it, but maybe she belongs behind bars.

But hey, at least she’s self-aware of her own biases.

The most interesting discussions however are still the ones that are happening between Faith and Buffy.

Buffy:  It does not mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else! Faith:  We are better! (...) In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire. Buffy:  I am.

Faith:  We don't need the law. We are the law. Buffy:  No.

Of course, the reason why these lines in particular are so intriguing, is because by season 7 these ideas will all be echoed by Buffy herself.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that Faith is reading ahead though. As much as Buffy’s arc will have callbacks to Faith’s, she will come to these conclusions from a different place and mindset. Neither of them are ready at this point to grasp the full moral implications of these statements.

And yet it also means that even now, Buffy knows that there’s some truth to these. She just doesn’t want to deal with that currently.

I guess there’s certainly a lot of that going around…

In the end, Faith made a choice. And she and the gang will have to live with the consequences of that choice for the foreseeable future now.

I just hope evil really does take MasterCard. I never have cash on me when I need it.

[erikismybitch]

Based off the Jill Scott interlude PT.2

You didn’t trip off what happened in the grocery store . But then it happened again, with another woman at the gym.

Then three more times after he posted the faceless pic of you and the “Erik” chain on his Instagram.

“Women sure are resourceful, like fucking spies when they want to be nosey ” you spoke sourly as you blocked yet another girl from your inbox. It was the most action your Instagram had seen in a long time . All this unwanted attention surrounding you brought back that old self conscious girl you’d hidden years ago.

“So, you gon keep me on pause the whole time? Maybe I should just end the FaceTime “ Erik said through the speaker of your iPhone .

“Sorry that I had to deal with one of your many hidden girlfriends” you went back to the FaceTime. Erik was sitting in his car on his work break . He mumbled lowly, knowing you couldn’t hear him. “Talking mess?” You asked with a lifted brow . The frustration was written all over his face , for the past week it had been a downhill battle between you and him.

“I was dealing with a lot of them girls back before you. But I didn’t feel the way about you that I do now “

“Is that supposed to be a compliment? “ you snapped . Eriks phone paused as you continued to rant . “I won the race and you were the prize?”

Eriks face came onto the phone screen again. He didnt say anything, he spent the past few days explaining himself . He never cheated , these were all women of the past . He was out of options and figured his best bet was to stay silent .

“I didn’t know you were THAT nigga”

“Please !” He finally spoke , twisting his face . “You got with me cause I was THAT nigga, don’t act new”

“Erik , I got with you cause you were you . I didn’t know it would come with all of this”

“Then break up with me then!” Erik shouted angrily and ended the FaceTime call . It scared you , not the tone of his voice but those words . You were angry with him and you weren’t sure what you wanted . Breaking up with him was not on your list .

Just as you were about to press the call back button, Erik sent you a text .

I’m sorry for yelling like that , I’ll pick you up later tonight for that party.

K.

You tossed the phone across your bed . Tiana and Devin were a married couple who hosted game nights at their hillside home . They were older and a couple that you admired. Tiana was an old co-worker of yours , she and Devin introduced you to Erik at their very own party. The two of you hadn’t seen them in a while and agreed to go tonight .

You listened as the postal worker slid the mail in your home door slot . You went to fetch the mail from the front . You scanned through it .

“Bills, bills, bills, Complex for Erik, and Cosmo for me”

You dropped everything except for the Cosmopolitan magazine. Ironically your current life story was on the cover in big bold letters

“So, you’re dating a ladies man pg 48 “.

“Yes, yes the hell I am” You eagerly opened the magazine to the article . Not even bothering to sit down, you began to read .

“...It's horrible and infuriating and brings out your jealous side. I get it. So what do you do? How do you handle him, and, more important, how do you keep him focused on your relationship when he's being approached left and right?...”

“How?” You mouthed out loud , as if the article was speaking to you

“...don't put him so high up on a pedestal. You deserve each other, and you are equals in the relationship. That mind-set is important...”

“Okay, okay” you nodded in an agreeable manner then read down a little more .

“...when a woman comes up to him and you're around. Let her and him know that he is yours, and you want to keep it that way. He will find that fiery, possessive side of you exciting and comforting...”

“I’m not fighting for no man, Cosmo”

“..."accidentally" let him see an innocent yet flirty text from a guy you met at work, or mention how "weird" it was that so-and-so asked you for a drink...”

“This is dumb as hell” you laughed and tossed the magazine with the rest of the mail . You should have known better than to look for advice from a pop culture magazine .

Hours passed and Erik was outside waiting for you . You had taken your time getting ready . The curls your usually had were flattened straight and tucked behind your ears. A casual dress accompanied with a denim jacket and heels . Plus , your make up was perfect.

You walked out of your apartment complex and made your way to Eriks truck. He thought you looked amazing , even more so than ever because you didn’t know how beautiful you were. To him, it was effortless.

“What?” You snapped with an attitude . You noticed the look he gave you when you got into the car . Erik laughed in response and pulled off .

“Nothing , you just look good... that’s all” Erik nodded his head to his music nonchalantly. You turned your body towards the window , just so Erik couldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing your smile . How could a girl be mad at that? And plus, he looked good too.

Erik drove briskly through the mountains , until he reached Devin and Tianas Spanish-styled home . There were several cars in the drive way as you pulled up . You both went inside and greeted everyone. Some new faces and some old .

You went your separate way from Erik, finding comfort in playing games with other people. Erik kept his eye on you the entire time , he was like a lost puppy waiting for you to find him. Out of the two host, Tiana was the first to notice that Erik wasn’t having fun . He told her that the two of you were on bad terms so he gave you space. She suggested that the four of you played a game alone . Tiana gathered you and her husband , then met Erik in a well-off room away from the main party .

“Let’s get it “ Devin shuffled the deck of Uno cards and gave each person seven . Both couples sat across from their mates and played the game .

“Uno!” You called out excitedly , you were down to your last card .

Erik hit you with a draw four and a smirk . Everybody cursed and took cards from the deck .

“Just when I think everything is straight , Erik shuts shit down “

“It’s just a game though” Erik placed a card onto the stack .

“It’s just a game though” you mimicked him in a nagging voice .

The married couple couldn’t stand the tension and before an argument started they interjected .

“You guys talking about Uno, or something else ?” Devin asked .

“Ask the ladies man” you motioned towards Erik . He tossed his cards on the table , fed up .

“What’s going on with you guys , seriously?” Tiana lowered her voice a bit , making sure nobody in the other room could hear the conversation.

“She’s upset because other women still like me” Erik made it seem like no big deal .

“Is that true?” Tiana interjected

“It’s more complicated than that , women are approaching me and messaging me about him”

The two of you felt completely comfortable spilling all the intimate details of the relationship with them . That had years of experience and knowledge under their belts . Erik gave them his view and you followed up with your own .

“You’re upset at something Erik can’t control and Erik should have helped you get to a place where you feel secure” Tiana began to preach .

Erik moved closer to you , running his hand across your lower back . “You don’t feel secure with me?” He spoke low, only for you to hear .

“I feel like I’m suddenly in a competition. If all those women weren’t enough for you then how could I, just one girl, be enough ?” Erik wrapped his arm around you and brought you into his chest . His way of letting you know you were secure with him. He didn’t know you felt that way .

“Why was she different than the rest of the girls?” Tiana questioned Erik. He thought about the night he met her, in this same house . Sure he had seen women more beautiful, women with better bodies and more sex appeal. But it was something about you that drew him in .

“This man drooled on himself when he saw her!” Devin blurted out .

“I did, my shirt got wet and everything “ Erik admitted shamelessly.

“We laughed about that shit for weeks” Devin cracked up.

“Girl, If that don’t make you feel secure then I don’t know what can” Tiana teased .

Devin and Tiana left the room, they allowed you and Erik some alone time . You tried your best not to taunt him for drooling, but you were flattered . Erik still held you against him, you took it a step further and embraced his waist . The words “sorry” were at the tip of your tongue . As soon as you were about to speak, Erik did.

“I remember after our second date, you didn’t call me for a like a week. Usually I wouldn’t trip ... but I did.” He played with your chain for emphasis. “That’s when I knew you were different “

“Erik, I’m sorry I’ve been mean . You don’t deserve that “

“It’s alright , you ready to get out of here?”

You nodded your head and agreed . The two of you said goodbye to everyone and made your way to the car . Erik drove through the hills slowly , enjoying the entire view of the lit city below . His car came to a stop, right on the edge of the road . A few cars were parked near by. They probably had the same idea as Erik .

He wanted to get high and enjoy this view with his girl, his one and only girl. Erik broke down his weed and rolled a blunt . He lit it , giving you the honor of hitting it first .

“I didn’t know how insecure I was , until tonight“ You mouthed , after inhaling and blowing a little smoke through your nostrils .

“You have nothing to be insecure about, I’m with you for a reason. Nobody makes me feel the way you do”

That put a big smile on your face . All you needed was a little assurance. You have him the blunt . He took it between his soft lips and inhaled . It had been almost a week since you felt him inside of you . And something about that small gesture turned you on. You reached over his lap and reclined his seat . Erik smirked at you, he knew exactly what you wanted .

His jeans were already low. You unbuttoned him and pulled his briefs down. His beautiful dick sprung at attention. Without a word you wrapped your mouth around his shaft . You focused on getting it wet so your lips could glide easily . This was his favorite , you were the best at it . You wanted to show him how much you wanted him .

“Shit baby, just like that” Erik ashed his blunt , it felt so good he couldn’t smoke anymore . You slurped hard, hearing the sopping sounds over the radio. Your head bobbed as you popped your lips on the tip of his veiny dick. Erik held on to the back of your head for leverage , bringing you all the way back down on him . You covered every last inch until his dick touched the back of your throat .

“You so perfect for me” Erik brought your head up , allowing you to take in air. He lifted you by your shoulders and kissed your moist lips . It was slow, sensual and passionate . Erik snuck your dress above your ass, then took it upon himself to slide your panties to the side .

“Come sit on this dick” his voice was smooth but still demanding . Just how you liked it.

You raised your leg over his lap, thanking god that Erik had a truck with tints. Erik cut the engine and turned off the radio . You thought maybe he wanted to listen for trouble , but he just wanted to hear you .

You slid onto him easily , seizing the moment . He always felt so good inside of you. Erik peeled your breast from the top of your dress . You rode him slowly .

“This the dick that got you wearing that chain?” he hissed , digging his palm into both of your ass cheeks .

“Yes baby” You let out a whimper, speeding up and adding a little bounce to your movement.

“Show me how you got that fucking chain!” He slapped your ass hard , kicking you in gear . Your breast bounced up and down . Eriks eyes reverted back and forth . Your silk like wetness coated his dick , each time you came down on his shaft he let out a grunt of satisfaction.

The sweet musty smell filled the car , so did the humidity . It covered all the windows , nobody could peak in if they tried .

Eriks hands roamed from your ass , to your waist , to the cup of your delicious breast .Then they found a place on the sides of your neck , bringing you down on to him . Your foreheads touched and the air flared from Eriks nostrils loudly .

“Let it out daddy ! “ you demanded against his lips . He slapped your ass again , piercing his fingers into your mounds . He forced your hips to move to his liking . Erik took control, his dick sent a lightning sensation through senses.

“Ohhh my god” you croaked and rested in the crevice of Eriks neck.

“Yeah? Daddy feel good to you ?” Erik boasted at the sounds you were making .

“Mmmmm, feel so good” you assured him.

Erik used his thighs to thrust upward into you . You let out a scream so loud that it even shocked you . You were powerless, and willing to do anything he wanted in that moment . The sensation he gave you , you’d rob a bank if he asked you to .

You pulled yourself up, holding the sides of his face firmly . Eriks eyes connected with yours before he kissed you quickly . Nothing but Pure extacy was written all over your face . You opened your mouth wide as you took in air .

Erik knew that face, he sped his strokes up . With each thrust his seat became soaked with your cream.

You gripped the roof handle and his chest as you felt yourself about to explode. You came violently . Your head flew back and a growl escaped your pretty lips.

“Don’t fucking move!” Erik never stopped fucking you . Your walls contracted around him as you tried your best not to lift up . Your flesh was far too sensitive to take the pounding Erik was giving you . Just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore , he let out a Harsh breath and came inside of you .

You laid back on top of him, unable to climb back into your spot .

“This shit feel so good, I could just drive home with my dick still inside of you “

You let out a tired laugh and kissed under his chin. It was sticky from sweat . It didn’t matter to you , you loved every part of him. You kissed his lips and then back down to his neck . With your tongue you marked your spot and sensually began to suck on its saltiness.

Erik’s dick began to stiffen inside of you . “Round two?” He mumbled.

“Meet me in the back seat”

[sieben9]

“dreamcatcher” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

OK, just putting it out there: this was a good episode. Like, really, really good. I loved it, even the bits that I definitely should not have. Looking at you, Emma.

seriously, what the hell, woman?

I mean, there were many good parts to this episode, obviously, but the bit pictured above in particular hit so well. That moment of "oh, yeah, right, she's the Dark One" could not have been set up and executed any better. Because it's not a huge over-the-top thing. It's quiet, almost unnoticable, and utterly horrifying. She's a thirteen-year-old girl, Emma. What the hell?

More shouting under the cut.

To continue the bit from above for a little: Obviously I don't think what Emma did was good on a human-being level. Obviously. But man, was it a good story move, and did it ever show off the breakdown of Emma's moral compass. Because outwardly, she seemed to be doing OK so far, only now we know that nope, she absolutely isn't. Someone keep an eye on her or before you know it there will be snails everywhere.

ok, i can see the upside, but he isn't worth it, i guess

Speaking of the whole heart-fiasco, I adored that storyline in Camelot where Emma and Regina got to work together on 1) performing a dark spell to free a centuries old wizard who got turned into a tree with his own tear and 2) help their son with his first foray into romance. ...honestly, they sound equally stressful.

Of course, it turned out that Emma was being The Worst parent, but everything before that reveal was solid, immensely enjoyable family-relationship development, and I loved it. Just... look at all these wonderful people and how far they've come since "stay away from my son or I will destroy you, if it's the last thing I do." ::happy sigh::

nobody in this conversation knows what they're doing and it's adorable

I also thought the reveal was set up rather nicely with the other Emma/Regina plot--specifically the bit where Emma gets to see Daniel's death. When Regina said that Cora "thought she was doing what was best", you could see Emma sit up and take notice. Which, Emma, m'dear, was 100% the wrong takeaway from that scene. Just... damn, woman. (Also tells you something about Cora, who managed to sink to that depth with absolutely no curse to help her along.)

there are SO many things wrong with this scene...

The worst thing is that it worked, too. They did get the tear they needed, Emma did get Merlin out of that tree (and was that just me or did she enjoy using that much magic wayyyy too much?) and they made a huge step towards their original goal and also in whatever they're planning to do with Arthur, now. (I mean, they're hardly going to let him just rule his fake kingdom via roofie-dust, are they?)

And if Robin and Regina hadn't found that dreamcatcher, nobody would ever have known. Least of all Henry...

might have been better for his peace of mind, though. just saying.

That was an interesting turn in Regina's attitude towards Emma, too. Because until then she was absolutely convinced that Emma could still be "brought back". The moment Emma hurt Henry, that optimism all but vanished. The supportive streak definitely did. I wonder if she knew from the start that it had been Emma who let the horse go so that she and Henry could "find" him, but didn't say anything because it seemed like such a harmless "misdeed", compared to what else Emma might do. There's no in-text evidence for this (except for the fact that Regina realised immediately that Emma had released the horse when the conversation turned that way, so she had probably been suspicious for a while), but it seems likely enough.

Barely related, but still worth mentioning: Henry and Violet continue to be adorable together. Even if the first date was something of an evil-mom-induced disaster, and even if Henry thinks that "Harold and Maude" is a good date movie. (I mean, I love that movie to bits, but still.)

Alright, after all that gushing, I have to take a moment to bring up a bit of the episode that I did not like. At all. Careful, here there be ranting.

"All you need is a sword and one good hand"

Well, fuck you, Merida. And fuck you, show, for presenting this as uncritically as you did.

Look, no matter how he got by the injury in the first place, Rumplestiltskin is permanently disabled. The fact that he literally cannot walk has nothing to do with his "attitude" or how "brave" he is. It's something that his body cannot do.

Even if he put aside his very rational misgivings and decided to fight, any fully mobile opponent could beat him easily. And listening to Merida berate him for minutes on end for having a disability was... deeply unpleasant.

Teaching the guy how to swing a sword seems like a shitty way to "make" him brave, even if you can ignore the ableist writing in this part of the plot, is what I'm saying here.

::deep breath::

That said, Merida's actions do make sense from her in-universe perspective. This is the main kind of "bravery" she knows, and she's not exactly in a good spot herself, what with Emma holding her heart, and all that.

Though if you do something to that cup, lady, I will find you and I will personally stick a bunch of hornets under your bedsheets. I know where to get them, they keep flying into my room all the time...

I also really did like the plot around Rumple's disappearance. Both on his end (minus the points mentioned above), and on that of the people looking for him. That part came as a surprise, to be honest, because I really didn't expect anyone besides Belle to care.

there is no caption that could make this picture more hilarious

Seeing them all work together was a nice touch, too. The cast tends to get a little entrenched in established pair-ups, so seeing them pool their resources and talents like this felt like a good change of pace. Bonus points for Regina's satisfied little smirk when she conjured up Henry's scarf to open the door. Just... some good old-fashioned teamwork on display. I liked it.

And, in closing news... they got Merlin back! Yay!

still unreasonably attractive, tbh

Naturally, I am deeply suspicious, because this is far too early in the season to get to any solutions, and also Emma is still the Dark One in Storybrooke, with no sign of Merlin anywhere. So either 1) he's a fake or 2) things are about to get exponentially worse.

I'm guessing 2, by the way.

[mentalcurls]

4. Il tuo ragazzo lo sa che ci scriviamo?

So, episode 4, our first glimpse of actual, real life, blood and bones Edoardo Incanti and the actual beginning of most of Eva’s troubles. For a hot minute I thought I wouldn’t actually have much to say about this episode, then Silvia happened and I wrote more than half a page about her. Keep reading for a discussion of catwalks, the first time Filippo Sava is mentioned ever and the results for the Bechdel test!

post sex cuddles for Eva and Gio is doing a staring contest

I like a woman who knows how to exploit a man’s weaknesses, like pulling the hair on his legs

wow, Gio’s subconscious must be a really weird place if that’s what he dreams about when it’s about Eva, her saying she wants to be a group of strangers’ slut, how edifying

“Oh, everyone calls her that [Osana bin Laden]” *grandma’s voice comes out of nowhere: “so if everyone went and jumped off a cliff would you follow them”?* *a wild Niccolò Fares dressed as Marty McFly teleports himself there from 3.5 Ammucchiate to make his “I’m disappointed by your generalizations” face at Gio*

I mean, Eva, maybe telling Gio Sana told you to break up with him won’t make him like her more, but that’s just my opinion

“Va bene, grazie, grazie mille, ciao, fantastico” Eva, that’s not how you pretend you’re not hiding something, that’s how you talk to the dentist’s secretary on the phone when you make an appointment

poor Gio, thrown out just in his underwear, no pants, no shoes, as if there wasn’t time to put them on at least when Eva could have simply gone to the bathroom and made a lot of noise to throw her mom off and let Gio leave with some dignity at least

I mean, that’s the guy who brings you crepes at 2 am Eva, you should treat him a bit better

“Oh God, Edoardo is here, don’t look” and all four of them look, like, C’MON!

I maintain that Edoardo/Giancarlo is cute, but nothing special, really, nothing worth having girls turn their heads for, especially when he snorts

that catwalk is nothing to turn your nose up at, tough

I was unsure about this for a bit because she doesn’t like that Gio doesn’t care that much about being widely accepted and considered cool at school, but Eva doesn’t care about being popular either, she simply wants positive female relationships with her peers, except that she was used to being one of the cool girls when she was friends with Laura, so some of that lingers

“Sometimes she reminds me of Cersei Lannister” only sometimes, Silvia?

Marti is wearing his blue jacket 😭

“Do you know a ‘Giulia Med’ on Instagram?” is this LudoBesse trying to plant some kind of Julian Dahl??? OMG

Eva laughs when Marti says that there’s a girl stalking him, but then she gets called a stalker herself and her face goes “Nope. Nope.”

poor Gio, he really has to fish for that invitation to dinner

I can’t imagine the anxiety very message from Canegallo gives her, because Giovanni is right there, and we know from his dismissive comment on Rocco Martucci to Silvia the previous episode (and Eva probably has known it far longer) that he doesn’t understand trying to get in with the cool clique, so he won’t get it, he’ll just assume the worst

not that Canegallo helps out with that. I get, you’re cool, you’re popular, you can have any girl you want and Eva is sending you mixed signals, so you’re pursuing her… except is all of that true? No! We already know almost nobody knew him at the Easter party cause Eva had look for him for ages, he has to have gotten that Eva didn’t go up to him because she’s into him, so the only “mixed signal” is the likes on Instagram, which is something a hundred girls have probably done before, Eva’s answers to hi DMs are vague… really, dude, don’t you see you’re projecting your own attraction onto her?

And anyways, why the fuck are you acting like such a creep? You’re “excited” she’s stalking you? Why has every girl who’s come before Eva let you get away with shit like that? Why doesn’t your girlfriend teach you any better? Oh wait, yeah, because that’s just boys being boys 🙄🙄🙄

Gio senses there’s something off… so why would you think Eva doesn’t sense something is off with you when you keep stuff from her?

Gio 😀 laughing 😀 at 😀 Eva’s 😀 new 😀 friends 😀 after 😀 pestering 😀 her 😀 to 😀 get 😀 new 😀 ones 😀 for 😀 ages 😀 I’m fine, really

those last few lines, when sex is treated as a bargaining chip and Eva’s mean for withholding it and Gio is considered whipped because he keeps things Eva has asked him not to say for himself… 🤦🏻‍♀️

Silvia’s absolute adoration for Eva for having managed in a day what she’s been trying to do for years (I’d bet at least since 2nd year, when Edoardo probably became cool) and get an in with the cool people. Poor child, how much did being your sister’s sister hurt you?

Sana’s “You all follow really predictable mating rules.” and Eleonora’s hesitation before saying “fregne” have the same energy. Yet neither of them backs off.

“Grigliamo la testa a Rodi”/”Let’s grill Rodi’s head” top notch group chat name (considering all the flak “Le matte” got from Gio earlier)

looking like “sfigate allucinanti”, the worst catastrophe that could possibly befall a group of outcast-ish girls who are widely considered losers already, seeing as one is a cheating whore, one is fat, one is hysterical, one is the new girl and then there’s Sana

“Everybody livin the vida loca in this group, huh?” Eva, you hate weed. You went on a crusade against your boyfriend because

Poor Silvia, panicking already. Sana, she doesn’t “talk a lot” she’s ANXIOUS, c’mon girl, you’re smarter than that

re: Silvia talking a lot and Silvia more in general, I couldn’t help but think of this post and the article it links to. Silvia is torn between being a cool girl, the one everyone adores, so the one who gets (in her idealized picture of it) all the respect, attention and love she craves, and being low-maintenance because she’s probably been taught that careful politeness of proper, refined girls, who don’t make scenes, always look perfect and never ask for too much (which has probably something to do with her sister Francesca as well). It doesn’t come naturally to her, so she ends up trying way too hard, sounding needy and talking too much and all the other things (mostly) Sana tells her to stop doing in the first few episodes.

And because she wants to get Edoardo, Silvia does her best to change herself into the low-maintenance girl: she’s fine with him just visualizing her texts, she’s fine with just sex with no date beforehand or anything, she’s fine with not going to his place even though it means have has lo lend her her family’s house, she’s fine with maybe coming and with maybe making Edoardo come, she’s fine with not using a condom even though she’s not on contraception. She’s low maintenance. Then he says those awful thing to her and she probably snaps, understands on some level that she’s not fine, but represses it as fuck and works to be even less maintenance, and ever more perfect: she curbs another kind of hunger, the hunger for food and starts going down the eating disorders road, until she has another breakdown. We see too little of her in S2 to gauge how she’s doing, but I hope the girls are helping her recover a bit, despite the fact that at the beginning they’re actually the ones who suggest toning herself down. ETA: this post is also kind of relevant to the work Silvia puts in to be attractive to Edoardo, in particular when it says “women are expected to aspire toward passivity while improving their bodies and minds for winning a sexual competition”.

Federica, on the other hand, is the exact opposite: she’s not afraid to take up space, physical or otherwise, she’s loud and unapologetic, she is hungry for food and for fun and for sex (see the spoon scene with Marti or the kiss to a stunned Chicco Rodi) and she’s not going to pretend she’s not to make people around her feel more comfortable; actually, she’s the one who most often makes people uncomfortable. It’s really good that Silvia has her and we never see Silvia complain about her like she does about Sana or Eva when they deviate from her ideal of who her friends should be.

So, after that rant, let’s go back to Fede leaving the girls speechless with her spiel about paying back the weed with sexual favors, which just proves the point I made above.

in the meantime, Eva lies unconvincingly to Gio, and I reiterate: Giovanni Garau con la U perché sei sardo, don’t you realize that if you can spot a lie in Eva’s words from the other side of Rome, she probably can spot your lies? So given how mad you get, how can you blame her for being angry and paranoid?

this is the catwalk episode, first the Villa guys outside school, everyone looking at them first, then just the girls squad minus Ele; now the girls, first down the deserted road (cause they’re not popular), then under Chicco Rodi’s and Canegallo’s watchful gaze

the disgusted look Eva gives Canegallo as soon as she gets in, good shit right there 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Sana surely draws attention to herself, which is not nice except that if she wasn’t so “unusual” she wouldn’t have caught Edoardo’s eye either and the girls wouldn’t have introduced themselves to him, so really, Silvia, shut up

ELEONORA VOLUNTARILY INTRODUCED HERSELF AND SHOOK EDOARDO’S HAND baby no (I mean, he’ll forget anyways, but for that exact reason honey, don’t)

Federico Canegallo laying it on thick from the very first moment, offering the girls salsicce and thank God Eva wasn’t alone or God knows what horrible, misogynistic pun he’d have made

WHO EVEN MAKES FRUIT PUNCH IN ITALY?

creepy Canegallo make another silent appearance cheering on Sara and Laura as they play beer pong so they can get drunker and drunker

the girls cheering on Silvia like it’s the final of the 2006 Football World Cup

aaaand creepy Canegallo being a creep

idk he just strikes me as a douche and rude and lewd so I just always find him creepy

oh, Fede, I know you’re just trying to be supportive, but girl, if your friend is uncertain about going with a boy or not, you should not push her! ffs, do they know nothing about consent? (Answering my own question: no!)

FILO! My lovely Filippo is calling! And Ele is all worried, rushing off and even leaving Eva alone, when we know she’d never do that if something wasn’t pretty seriously wrong… oh, Filo, what happened to you? I hope that Jack didn’t get hurt.

“You know, I mostly go out with my boyfriend.” a nice, natural, smooth way to throw that in, Eva.

Fede has her priorities straight: she drops the boy she was hoping to get the minute her friends need her, but she still goes and gets herself a kiss

Bechdel test: the episode passes the test. There’s the conversation outside school between Silvia and Eva then all the girls minus Eleonora get there and Sana roasts Silvia’s social media habits, but the rest of that scene is dominated by Edoardo and Federico, there’s the conversation between Eva and Eleonora as soon as they get to the party about Laura and Sara. Technically some parts of the conversation at the Baretto pass the test too, but it’s like two lines at a time (about the weed, about Silvia being talking too much), but 98% of that scene is dedicated to either the Villa guys, Edoardo or Fede’s friend who sells weed, plus there’s the phone chat between Eva and Gio.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.   If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[clumsyclifford]

bella darling you absolutely do not have to post this or reply I just need to vent. I live about 20 minutes away from Minneapolis and I'm already feeling drained even though I haven't done much more than share social media posts. I want to go to a sit in that's being organized tomorrow but I live with my parents who would not let me go to a protest and otherwise don't have a ride. I'm worried about mass gatherings with covid still raging. I feel betrayed by my city. (1/2)

I want to do more and I should do more but I don't know how and I'm already feeling burnt out from seeing coverage of the protests and press conferences interrupting programs every time I turn on the tv. we can't go back to how it was and I don't want the movement to lose steam without real change happening but I don't know how long these kinds of protests and passion from outside the black community will last. feeling tired despite not even doing anything but spread info anyway love u -m&m 2/2

look, the first thing i’ll say is that i completely understand. i’ve been there, i was there, i sort of still am there - i keep it at bay because i keep posting about it and i’m making the effort to spread information and share resources but it’s exhausting and i know it is and i know. i’m with you. i understand.

secondly: if you’re burnt out, take a break. like, i’m begging you. you might already know this, but just in case you don’t, i’m telling you, it’s not only okay but encouraged to take a break. it sounds selfish to say, but your mental health really is the priority. the ABSOLUTE priority. if you’re not okay, you’re no use to anyone until you are. so take however much time you need to breathe, take a break, take a bath, read some fanfiction, do whatever you need to do. i know that sounds like i’m just chatting shit but i mean it. you are not a bad person for taking care of yourself. you’re not.

third: sharing social media posts is better than doing nothing!!! i got caught in this loop too, when all of this madness started, that was like “am i doing enough? am i even doing anything?” but sharing posts and links and information is better than nothing. like, WAY better. that’s the only way the information gets out. signal boosting is hugely helpful, and it’s a thousand times more productive than the people who are saying black lives matter but aren’t doing anything. actions speak louder than words, you know? signal boosting gets the word out, and someone who might need it or use it will be grateful that you did.

 fourth: very sorry that you can’t (couldn’t?) attend the sit-in. try not to beat yourself up about it. the intention was there and the fact that you can’t go doesn’t mean you’re in any way less of an activist. it’s clear that you care. caring doesn’t do anything in and of itself, but it’s a helluva lot better than not caring, and it gets you to a place where you can actually contribute, instead of just being apathetic. so good for you! good for you.

and lastly: there are so many ways to help that are easy, take like ten seconds, and will ease your conscience. “it doesn’t matter how your conscience feels” yes it does, because your mental health is directly affected. “you should feel uncomfortable” yeah, you should, but not perpetually. the discomfort is alleviated by doing something to help, and there are like, SO many ways to do that - one of which is signal boosting, which you’ve already said you were doing. you can also give money directly to bail funds (here’s a post with a gazillion links). or if you were looking for books to buy anyway you can help support black-owned bookstores. or you can sign petitions, here’s a bunch of links in one place. or you can text JUSTICE to 668366, or text FLOYD to 55156. and i don’t even know what to call this doc except for basically a masterlist of every resource you could possibly need under the sun.

point being, you’re helping, and you mean well, and you should take a break if you need a break, and once you’re reinvigorated (or maybe just a little less tired), add your voice to the chorus. like, that’s all it is. 

thanks for coming to me, sorry for the crazy long rant, it’s just i’ve been battling with this myself for a couple days, so i get it. 

ETA: for the record, you’re under no obligation to contribute in every way. if you don’t have the money, for fuck’s sake, don’t donate. there are people with a LOT of money who can take care of that, and they know it. just help where you personally can. anxious on phone calls? that’s okay! write emails! use the templates provided! like i don’t know how well you fare in various areas of life but i just want to say nobody expects you to do everything. that’s why division of labor is so crucial. the people who send the emails might not be all the same people who attend the protests, but both things are important.

[mf-fairy-princess]

Problematic and Proud: Instagram Artist Beebosloth

Alright, I tried posting this to Reddit but that whole website is fucked so. Tumblr is crazy toxic and I want absolutely nothing to do with this website lmao, I just know if it’s posted here, it will show up in google search results. 

Alright, so there's this artist on Instagram. Nothing new and unique there. In fact, there isn't really anything special about this particular prick at all. Rather, he more-so represents a larger cancerous growth within Instagram; entitlement, and toxicity.

I know, I know, "Hey dumbass, that's the entirety of the internet." Yeah, you're damn right it is. Does that make it any less gross? Any less pathetic? These humans are still humans, they know what they're doing.

So what exactly is Beebosloth? Unless you've come here from googling the name followed by some key-word synonyms of "problematic," you're probably unfamiliar with his presence on earth. @Beebosloth (Stan Osipov) is a pretty general artist on Instagram, pumping out at least one sketch a day; his works are namely skeletal, usually black and white, usually accompanied with an odd little strip of slogan text which rarely fits the image subject. People have gotten his works tattooed, he's almost up to 300k followers now, etc etc, he's doing alright for himself.

If there's one thing that millennials and gen-Z kids' insane internet vigilante rampages have taught us, it's that successful people can be, and often are, problematic as all hell. Beebosloth is no exception.

I had been following the artist for close to 3 years, giving him general support through likes on his posts, but also going an extra mile in standing up for him for 2 problems he had been facing repeatedly as an artist. First, due to the general popular aesthetic of his art, his works were getting reposted a lot, often without credit. There would even be imitation accounts which would post nothing but his art, essentially pretending to be him. I repeatedly took it upon myself to give them the ol' trollish finger wag, in an unlikely hope they'd better their behavior or at least let passersby know who the real artist was.

Another problem he was facing was Instagram support; (Ooh what a surprise, when has that ever happened to anyone)? The way he went on about it had us all believing that Instagram would never punish those who committed these unethical acts. And that was the entirety of the problem at first; not punishing other people who had done him wrong. He made several posts and stories complaining about this, usually enticing his followers to go out and do his bidding in this regard. Then . . there was an incident, and the first instance that really alerted me to Beebosloth's behavior.

This is a man who spends half his posts whining because he refuses to learn how internet-related copyright laws work. Even though with the sheer amount of trials and failures he's experienced, he should be an expert on them by now. A dude who claims every 5 seconds that he's getting his work stolen . . . which is why this next part is such a kicker.

I wish I could remember the time exactly, (but unfortunately I'm not pursuing a degree in problematic Instagram artists, and these details have just really just slipped my mind). It was March; I believe of this year. I scrolled through Instagram like normal, came upon a new post by beebosloth, and noticed that this one had about twice the typical amount of attention attached to it. Osipov had posted a doodle of a skeleton arm, holding up a ticket which read "1 WAY TICKET TO HELL." Pretty simple, pretty basic. And the next picture on the slide was the exact same thing, only this time, it wasn't in his style. I believe he also included screenshots of an incredibly petty argument between him and the other artist, in which she accused him of stealing the design from her. - In the caption he's ranting, he's raving, Instagram copyrighted his version and removed it. He does something else too . . . .

Now, these images are the exact damn same, I wish I could find her original work but it has really just disappeared. After what Stan Osipov does next, it wouldn't really surprise me if she deleted her Instagram to cut out the toxicity of this whole situation. And here's the most important part to consider of all of this; not beeblosloth's cruel, immature, reaction, not his history of sending his followers to spend their own personal time being terrible to other users on his behalf, this-

The artist who claimed Osipov had stolen her work- posted it first. Actually I believe she posted it a few weeks before beeblosloth ever did. And keep in mind- the only feasible difference between these two photos is the art style. They are exact same in every possible detail. Now, unfortunately, at the time I was a member of beebosloth's cult following. I really made up any possible excuse to believe that somehow, regardless of how impossible and ridiculous it would be, this girl was lying about beebosloth just ripping her off majorly. Even though- she kept the matter private, between themselves. Beebosloth was the one who posted their screenshots, made this a "let's get everyone involved and invoke the wrath of my followers" thing.

In the caption, (or maybe in a new post), Beebosloth then goes on to beckon everyone to draw this image, he starts a #drawthisinyourstyle challenge. He also, of course, incites his followers to go send hate the the original artist. I will admit I stupidly wanted to believe beebosloth was the original artist, and maybe there was some justification to him posting the screenshots, but that part, I didn't like. That was totally unnecessary, even if he was somehow telling the truth.Can we just step back and assess how insane this situation is?

Osipov casually rips off another artist

He gets caught, called out in private, and the image is removed

He reposts his imitation image, as well as the original one, the original artist's details, the screenshots from their private conversation; he tells his followers to go send hate to the original artist because she hurt his feelings by calling him out.

He starts a competition encouraging everyone to rip off her image in their own style. In turn getting dozens of results, making a considerable chunk of the Instagram art scene focus all negative attention on the original artist. "Well if I can't have it, I guess everyone can." (It's almost impossible to find left over images of the challenge, but I remember there being dozens upon dozens of submissions. I will post one I managed to find, as well as the original rip-off by beebosloth.)

And me and his other followers were totally blind to this insane, ridiculous, behavior. I find that all of my red flags that make me dislike people and their actions boil down to a very simple act: Being shitty to another human when they're not doing anything harmful. That's exactly what Osipov was doing here, and I just kind of let him convince me she was the perpetrator.

-- The remainder is an explanation of why I personally snapped out of this and realized he is just a really sleezy dude, it gets a bit petty, read at your own discretion. --

I kept following him after this for months, sending likes to those stolen general commercial T-shirt slogans slapped on a sketch of skeletons doing basic little things. And then one day a few weeks ago, an image crawled across my feed whose incredibly vague message just didn't sit right with me. The image, as you should be able to see here (if I've successfully posted it), contains a scene of someone trying to post something on instagram, and there is an error message which reads "Oops, nobody gives a shit about you or your selfies. Post anyways?"

First reaction: YIKES, who has Stanny got a vendetta against today? The username of the poster was "dumb bitch" to boot. I honestly couldn't tell if he was attempting to shame someone specific, people who just enjoy posting their selfies, women on Instagram, the message was so unclear and the caption wasn't a help to say the least. Actually the caption was . . . The only possible relation the caption could have had to the art itself, was . . . no actually I really can't find a damn thing to relate the two. It had the same weird aggressive energy as the image, but it was essentially an uncomfortable and unwanted pep-talk? No . . . what in the fresh hell would you call that caption?

Anyways, I just assumed the caption didn't really have a direct relation to the art image, as that was something he'd done before and is pretty typical on Instagram. But I still had a problem with the message of the image itself; essentially teaching people to feel bad about posting their selfies, and holding some sense of superiority to those who dare share an image of their face every so often. How incredibly boring, and my reaction posted in the images explains why this personally pissed me off. And if there I talk like someone complaining in an Instagram comment section, well . . . I wonder why.

His reaction - Oh man his reaction, you could not have killed someone's loyalty to you faster if you used their pet in your omelet. I mentioned how I was confused at the caption in the end of what I was saying, and I guess that's the part that offended him?! I haven't a clue how, but he starts in: "The fact that you don't understand leads me to believe that you are still very lost."

. . . . WHAT?! bahahaha! Where the hell did that come from?! My mouth fell agape. First of all, I didn't understand his caption for the shear fact that it was vague and unrelated to the image. Secondly, beebolsoth, where in the shit did I say anything about being lost and remind me when I paid you to be my psychiatrist.  He goes on in this ridiculous narcissistic tone, making totally wild claims as if he's known me my whole life and can speak to my personal character, and my mental state. What a creep. Is he playing The Rewired Soul here? I didn't know, I didn't particularly care. The mild entertainment I received from viewing his images wasn't worth being talked to like I've just told freaking Sigmund Freud I don't like the taste of lima beans. After receiving some darling, and for some reason, racist hate from his cult followers, I unfollowed him.

But really, isn't that just one of the cringiest feelings out there? Realizing you've been doing back-flips for someone who would treat you like absolute dirt just for the fun of it? Well, now this experience is documented. Hopefully the true original artist of the "One way ticket to hell" piece is doing alright. And the next time Osipov does something weird and horrible, people can come here, and know it definitely wasn't the first time.

[3laxx]

Breeze Analysis

Here we go.

Ao3 / FF.net

Hello, I am 3laxx.

I am the writer of the fanfiction Breeze on archiveofourown.org and Fanfiction.net.

And since I have received a lot of negative feedback lately because of various characterizations or scenes in my story I decided that I want to explain a few things.

This is not a call out post and I do not want to name any of my commenters or reviewers, they know what they wrote and I hope they stand to their opinion so that I can write this honestly and answer truthfully.

First off, I wrote this work to entertain.

Yes, to entertain in the angsty way that Breeze is written but still, I wrote this fanfiction for myself to write and for you guys to read. This is a free work and I’m honestly very disappointed that I have to point this out since somehow it should be common knowledge:

Fanfictions are free works, written for nothing else than the writer’s fun and maybe some recognition outside if the writer decides to upload it. I do not own money with Breeze and I have put time and effort in this fanfiction to make it work.

Second off, this fanfiction is my story. I wrote it and I decide how it will go and how it will end.

And third, I am welcoming honest reviews and comments, I am valuing constructive criticism and I am always looking forward to being able to tell you why I wrote something the way I did and why some persons are reacting the way they did.

I am also always smiling over people yelling at me what I have done and what they want to do to the characters that are doing the bad things. That is fun to read and I get like that over other stories as well.

What I do not like, however, are comments that are trying to tell me what to do or what should and should not have happened or should and should not happen in the future. Comments telling me how I should or should not have written the story and then trying to command me to do certain things they want to see in my story, things they want to read and how they think everything should happen now because to them it would be logical.

Do not get me wrong. I respect people who start thinking about my story and who are building their own opinion on how it could continue. I actually love to read their speculations and I love answering them why something is or is not plausible or why it would not make sense for some characters to react the way they propose these characters could. Or how much of their theories make sense.

It really is an honor to me that so many people are reading my story and that so many people have left comments or reviews, anonymous and with an account, that were both interesting to answer and nice to read.

I am reading every comment and I am reacting to each one if there is a question or a problem that they want to have answered. I am also reacting to other comments, just because they were nice. And I absolutely love to explain myself. If someone writes me that they do not understand why a character reacts the way I depicted it in the story I always want to answer as quickly as possible and explain myself because I have written on Breeze for about a year before uploading it. I want to tell you what my thoughts have been outside of the story. I have beta read it multiple times, alone as well as together with two others, and I have thought out every single character and why they react the way they do.

But apparently, I have failed to make it obvious enough in the story since too many people have been trying to tell me what to do, since (strangely to me) practically nobody understood Marinette’s position and why Alya, Adrien, Tom and all the others are reacting the way they are.

At first, I thought they just have not read the story closely enough since yes, Breeze is providing answers in a very subtle way and maybe a bit later than you might think. But as these comments became more and more I began doubting my own story. Have I not explained the characters enough? Have I not been able to show how they are feeling?

Since I really do get this feeling I want to explain these things here now, answering for all your questions and doubts in one big rant. I hope you will find your answer in here and if you do not feel free to ask me again.

And I want to point out again that this following text is my opinion on my fanfiction and that my work stays just this, my work. Since I am the writer I am basing the work on my experience. Since I have never seen humans fly without the help of science or gravity I do not write flying humans except the world is a different one.

If you disagree I ask of you to approach me reasonably and keep it clear that it is your view on my thoughts. I will treat you with the same amount of respect as I am treating everyone, I will not be rude and I will not be angry. I love to hear your thoughts on my work and I want to read what you have on your mind. However, if you try to tell me what I have to do or how I have to continue I will not answer.

(I will proceed by explaining the most criticized characters in terms of 1) the overall characterization, 2) coping with Ladybug’s death, 3) how they are treating Marinette and 4) how they are treated by others (if it is required), then I will go over to a few stylistic problems and at the end I will rant a bit more.)

 So, first off, the class (As in Sabrina, Alix, Mylène, Max, Kim, Juleka, Rose, Nathaniel and Ivan. I am excluding Chloé, Alya, Nino and Adrien since I am characterizing them individually).

Many people have criticized how I depicted the Miraculous class in my fanfiction.

I feel like I need to begin at the very root on which I have based their characterizations. Again, these speculations on how the characters are reacting are based on everything I know. I have thought about this for over a year now and everything mentioned here is my opinion and my view of the world.

1) So, back to the class. In Breeze they are all aged up three years and since it is canon that the class is around 13-15 years old in the series they are all 16-18 years old now. In my experience 16-18 year old people who are aiming to do their a-levels go to the last or one of the last years of school (there are always kids that are finishing school with 12 or people dropping out of school with 21 because of reasons but well, the Miraculous class is still together and nobody skipped a year and nobody went back a year. Also, this class and overall school seems really like an upper class environment to me, with the daughter of the mayor, the son of a world renowned designer (that Adrien was allowed to go there by his father can only speak for the school. I doubt Mr. Agreste would have let him go there if it was a regular school) and the daughter of a cook in a very luxurious hotel owned by the mayor).

Since I just finished school I have just been there. My friends and I are all around 18-19 years old and I have based the Miraculous class on their respective characterizations from the series and the official wiki as well as my experiences with young adults of that age. I tried to age them up accordingly without losing their strongest traits which was challenging considering they are just side characters in my story.

So, as I have seen it, people of that age generally become more serious. There is not as much happy going lucky in the characters anymore and the focus is not on who is holding hands with whom (as it has more been a topic with 14 years) but rather on managing school, already looking out for a future education like studying or an internship or at all managing their lives themselves. There is more and more responsibility being placed on shoulders of people that age, like becoming a co-trainer in a sport they did for a few years, being asked to mentor younger kids in the school, being asked to keep an eye on an unattended younger class for a moment and completing tasks at home that the parents or other adults would not have asked of younger kids. Most complete their driver’s license which comes with an insane amount of responsibility (at least it should be) and a few are already doing a side job to own a bit of money on their own, to have worked before finishing school, et cetera.

So, the average stress level is pretty high.

As I have experienced it people of that age are, even if they are more reasonable, they tend to also be more sensitive to stress from the outside, like parents urging them to finally go out and find a side job, to care for an application for studying or an internship or to write better grades to finish school with a good certificate.

Of course, people of that age also tend to be very careless, they start partying, they do silly and funny things. Not everything is all serious and grey, it’s also quite funny and exciting to be of that age.

Just serious topics are taken more seriously and there is a different understanding of the world than it had been three years ago.

For me, quite a lot has changed in the past three years and I can say with almost full certainty that everyone would agree.

Growing up is a weird process and especially during puberty a lot of things will start to be handled differently. Some tend to get more insecure and self-conscious, some tend to get more confident. For everyone puberty had a different impact but it is pretty safe to say that for everyone, it had an impact. Some consequences are bound to happen since the brain starts working differently. I am not saying that we start seeing everything more like adults and stop being childish, I do not know anybody to who it happened that way. But I am saying that we are approaching serious situations differently then.

2) This is what brings me to how the class is coping with Ladybug’s supposed death. It is a new situation for everyone and nobody really knows how to deal with it.

Of course, all of them are shocked, sad and helpless. They do not know what to do, they do not know how it will go from there. Maybe some of them have never lost a family member and thus do not really know how to deal with death on a personal level at all. Ladybug was an inspiration, a hero and a role model. And suddenly, she is gone.

At this point, nobody is able to think straight. They are scared and helpless and Hawkmoth’s Akumas are coming almost every second day, maybe even twice on one day, to defeat Chat Noir. What then? Will they all feel so cold and controlled by that madman again, like when they were akumatized by him? Will Paris burn in the end? Will they maybe loose Chat Noir as well? Will the damage stay? But Ladybug and Chat Noir both seem so young, how could someone just have taken her life, especially after three years of fighting crime? She was experienced and then suddenly a classmate of them, one of the sweetest girls they know, gets akumatized over practically nothing (I will talk about that in Marinette’s characterization more detailed) and her twisted and turned form claims to have killed Ladybug in the timespan of maybe twenty minutes tops (since Marinette briefly talked to Alya, then ran home, got worked up, got akumatized, brought her Miraculous to Hawkmoth and then attacked the school. That is a really short timespan to kill the experienced hero of Paris).

They feel unsafe even if Chat Noir is doing his best to fight the Akumas. They feel that sooner or later Chat Noir who is obviously getting exhausted will be overrun by the sheer pressure Hawkmoth is forcing on him and then, everything will be lost. Because someone they knew has killed their beloved hero. Because someone they are seeing every day has destroyed the dynamic and beloved superhero duo and has brought doom upon all of them.

Because, simply and quite frankly, they are scared, confused and angry.

3) Which is the reason they are acting the way they are. They would have never thought that Ladybug could have died, they would have never thought that someone they know could have killed her and they could have never even fathomed that it could be their sweet, courageous, patient and dorky classmate Marinette. Especially over something that they see as a normal and everyday thing. Nobody really acknowledged Chloé bullying Marinette when she started standing up for herself thanks to Alya (and her newfound confidence through her secret life as a superhero) so for them it is not special and especially not worth getting akumatized over since Chloé is just Chloé, right? Nobody is really realizing the dangers that come from mobbing and hey, better let the rich snobby girl do what she wants since she may call her father if we intercept. Marinette had always stood up for herself when this happened but somehow, this fateful day, she has not.

They are angry at Marinette for letting Chloé get to her when it is pointless listening to that girl.

They are confused how it could have come that far with her when she had handled it just fine before and they do not understand how she could have gotten so mad over something so invalid.

They are scared because it could happen again. In the four years that Ladybug and Chat Noir fought Akumas it is given that people have been akumatized again. Quite frankly, they are all afraid of Marinette. They do not want her anywhere near them and they certainly do not want to set off the monster she was transformed into again.

Since her akumatized form has killed Ladybug they set her apart from all the other Akumas. For them it is not a normal Akuma incident, for them Marinette and Miss Fortune are one person since they need a murderer. Ladybug is dead and blaming nobody except the phantom that is Hawkmoth? They need to blame someone they can see, someone they can look at and say “Yes, she killed Ladybug.”, because they somehow need to cope with it. For them it is not enough to just blame Hawkmoth since he is practically thin air for them. They cannot even see him. The only indication that he is there are the Akumas that are repeatedly attacking the city.

Coping with the death of a family member, a friend, a person we knew or a pet is pretty hard. Thankfully, I have not been there that often but I have and in my experience, it has always been hard accepting they have just passed away. When a family member died of an illness I could not understand that nobody was at fault. Surely the doctors have made a mistake or the medicine has failed. Surely there was something else wrong and surely, we could have helped them if only the science had been more developed. Accepting that there was nothing we could have done was almost not possible for me.

Something can always be blamed and be it oneself for not caring for the ill person enough, for not being there for them or something else.

It is, however, a completely different thing if a family member dies through an accident (comparable to Breeze since nobody in my family or at all, people that I know, has been murdered, thank god).

If a family member dies through a car accident, someone can be blamed. Someone I can see, someone I can look at and know “You have killed my family member.”, because I needed that.

I needed someone to blame, someone to have taken that person from me. So, I based their reaction on my experiences because frankly, that is all I can do. Everyone is coping with death differently and since the class are side characters I focused more on their respective traits.

Like this, Kim is a more loud-mouthed character. He does not sit around and wait for better times, he stands up and openly asks how to get rid of Marinette. Because he is scared of her, because he is irritated and because he does not draw the line between his classmate and her akumatized form. Because he buries it within himself that he is uncomfortable with Marinette being near him because she (or a form of her because it must have somehow still been Marinette, just as much as he has still been Dark Cupid) has killed a human. And not just any human, she has killed the greatest real-life superhero he has known. Alix and even Max are quite similar.

On the contrary we have characters like Nathaniel and Mylène. They keep quiet because they do not know how to handle the situation. They do not intercept, they do not want to start any more drama around Marinette since they are just as scared and irritated but they also do not help her.

In their eyes, she has still killed a human, a superhero, so they shut their mouths and mourn in quiet.

Then there are characters that are more in between. Sabrina for example.

At the beginning, she is mostly on Chloé’s side but she also is more the type to cope with Ladybug’s death quietly. And as I will be hinting to, she is also kind of agreeing with Nino. Instead of helping Chloé bullying Marinette she takes a step back at some point, she starts observing more and she is more and more realizing that it could not have been Marinette who has killed Ladybug, like Nino said. She will not be the only one in that class to do that.

One comment has really confused me, though.

They said that the class was bullying Marinette, all of them.

But they are not. They are not helping her, granted, they are hostile against her and they are ignoring her, but they are not actively bullying her. Chloé is doing that (I will talk about that in her characterization) but none of the others is. The scene where they have tried to vote Marinette out may have thrown some of the readers off but Marinette has not been in the room to that time. They are scared of her and irritated by her but they do not bully her.

 Now, Chloé Bourgeois.

She is, even if it may not seem the way I depicted her in Breeze, a very complex and yes, conflicted character.

1) What I want to say about her first is definitely that she is not just some bratty rich snob as she may seem to everyone. Yes, everyone has that impression of her and yes, she does not do really much to prove them wrong but in my opinion, Chloé is a very insecure character. She is constantly denying she is at fault for anything and she is always searching for another who can be blamed (again, the question of blame about which I have already talked before. It will come up in point 2 and 3 for Chloé again).

Also, Chloé is pretty similar to Kim, she is loud-mouthed and she definitely does not wait around for something to happen. But in contrary to Kim she has a very distinct view on justice regarding herself and especially on self-administered justice. If nothing is done about something you can be sure Chloé does something. This can be an honorable trait and it can be used for good but I have aged up Chloé fully based on her character in the series and not on the potential that she has. I do not want to spoiler anything but that is how it is right now in the story and I needed it plot wise. Everything else is a spoiler and will not be discussed further.

But there is also the side that Chloé has always had, the bully side. Yes, she is depicted as a bully in the series and since I have based my work on the first season I have aged her up accordingly, as mentioned above. Because of the bully side I have decided to keep her bratty attitude and to not give her a redemption arc since it is needed plot wise.

2) Ladybug has been a hero to her. Yes, Ladybug is a hero to all of Paris, she is a superhero, but she has been Chloé’s personal hero. There are a lot of theories about how Chloé may base her redemption arc on Ladybug’s (or more like Marinette’s) kind personality and that she wants to be more like her so she changes herself.

So, there we are, the only role model she has actually looked up to (maybe after her mother? Or even Mama Agreste?) and she was killed by the girl she already hated in the first place. Ladybug meant so much to her because she would not show weaknesses and suddenly she is killed by some random Akuma. Not just some random one but Marinette’s, of all people.

Chloé is furious. Of course, at first, she is mourning Ladybug’s death and she is really sad to have lost her hero. But after some time, she feels anger and hate bubbling up inside and guess who it is directed against? Yes, of course Marinette.

Like the rest of the class, she does not draw a line between Miss Fortune and Marinette and so, she of course blames Marinette for Ladybug’s death.

3) Which brings me to why Chloé deals with Marinette the way she does. On the first day, she does not even notice her in any way. Chloé is in a horrible state since she lost the one human she ever accepted as a role model lately. But as soon as she, too, needs someone to blame she of course starts attacking Marinette. She is the only one actively doing that to Marinette, she is the only one who is bullying her when she notices. The rest of the class is talking about her behind her back but Chloé is the only one telling her to her face that she is Ladybug’s murderer – because Chloé does not have a problem doing this. She has talked to Marinette in that manner for years already and she has also been physical before (she did push Marinette on quite a few occasions in the show), so it is no surprise that Chloé does not have a limit in bullying Marinette now. Especially since, again, Marinette stands alone. There is no Alya to have her back anymore.

Also, Chloé does not take any blame for akumatizing Marinette. For her, too, it has been a daily thing to speak to Marinette that way and she does not take any blame on anything at all, that is just her personality. But instead of fearing that she could be akumatized again Chloé openly shows her how much she hates her for “killing” Ladybug. How much she is holding that against her. How angry she really is. She does not tolerate that Marinette is “playing the victim”, when she is obviously a murderer.

4) The class and everyone else is certainly not complaining about Chloé doing something like that to Marinette. They are all feeling the same way in certain amounts, they all feel like Marinette should not play victim here. Plus, as already mentioned a few times, they do not blame Chloé for giving the initial start for the akumatization. For them it has been such a minor occurrence in the entirety that is Chloé’s overall bratty attitude that they feel like Marinette does not have the right to feel hurt by anything. They all have successfully managed to block Chloé’s hurtful words out, all these years, and they have watched Marinette doing just as well as them not listening to anything.

So, of course they do not blame Chloé. She has just been herself, she has just been as always. For them it is Marinette to have made the mistake of listening to her.

 Next on the list is Tom Dupain.

Again, a very heavily criticized character. But I do have a reason for writing him the way I did.

1) In the show, he is depicted as the stricter parent. As seen in “Timebreaker” and “Simon says” he is the one calling Marinette and harshly reprimanding Marinette that Ms. Chamack is waiting to be let in to get the cake she ordered. He is also the one telling her that she should wait in the bakery the next time she is home alone and a customer needs to get a delivery. In “Simon Says” he is the one talking to her about her absences, not Sabine.

That does not make him less loving. It also does not mean that he is the “mean parent”, because he isn’t. Tom is a very loving father and husband and I did not change anything about that, I merely let one thing outweigh the other because of how I felt he would see it.

2) To be honest, Ladybug’s death does not affect Tom too much. Of course, he is worrying about Paris and of course he is worrying about Chat Noir. The other superhero must just be as young as Ladybug has been and Tom does not think it is good for the boy to shoulder such a great responsibility, protecting Paris as the last line of defense. Of course, he thinks Ladybug must have been way too young to die and he asks himself if her family knows about this and if they are mourning (it is quite ironic and frustrating, yes).

He is also worried that every damage will stay and that someday, Paris will most likely be in ashes, Chat Noir will have broken down because of exhaustion and Hawkmoth will win. He is not exactly sure what Hawkmoth will have won and how it will benefit him because nobody knows that but it cannot be good for the city if he is already destroying it like that now.

To break it down, he is more worried about Chat Noir’s condition and the situation the city is in than about Ladybug’s death. He is, in my view, rather pragmatic and yes, he does have his thoughts about her death but he is rather looking forward than back because he himself did not have a close connection to Ladybug (again, very frustrating to think about). He is rather worrying about the people who had, people who saw her as their role model or who were friends with her.

But what shocks Tom the most is how Marinette started acting as an Akuma. Since I am basing Breeze on the first season of Miraculous Ladybug I can only guess if Tom and Sabine have been akumatized in the three years that I have aged the characters up.

Since it is unlikely that not because they are characters who are so much in focus of the series as well, I assumed they have been akumatized but I didn’t elaborate on it any further. So, Tom most likely knows how akumatizations work and how twisted some people have gotten when akumatized. But all the other Akumas have been fought by Ladybug and Chat Noir. No damage did stay, no injuries, no bad feelings.

The Akumas have become a normal occurrence in Paris but they have mostly been defeated in the duration of a few hours. The Parisians have gotten used to it.

3) And then there is this Akuma that falls out of the scheme. Who is so completely different than all the others. And it is his daughter, of all people. He is asking himself what caused Marinette to lash out like that, what caused her to be such a-… Monster? Quite frankly, he is conflicted.

On the one hand, there is his daughter that he loves dearly and strongly, his little baby daughter who he raised to be a strong and beautiful young woman.

But on the other hand, there is this terrifying thing she was turned into by a mad man, someone capable of killing coldly and mercilessly, and one of the superheroes of Paris, mind you. And not just that, no, that thing also attacked his beloved wife. Almost killed her. Flung her around on her neck through a room, hurt her.

Someone took control of his daughter and made her turn against her own mother, without an apparent reason. Without a warning, even.

Tom is not angry at her and he does not hate her. He is still the loving father and husband. But he is simply unsure how he should handle the situation at all. He feels like he has to choose a side, like he has to choose between his daughter and his wife and since his wife is the injured victim he had cared for first while the twisted form of his daughter practically plunged Paris in its doom, the decision is a hard one for him to make.

There is his wife who is holding no grudge against her daughter while her neck is only slowly healing. And then there is his daughter, taken advantage of, a cruel form of her having taken away Paris’ hope, the hero who could have healed his wife in a few seconds.

He cannot look at his daughter differently anymore, he only sees the hurt girl a madman has turned her into.

He is only able to see the thing that almost killed his wife, the thing that killed Ladybug, he can only see Miss Fortune in her eyes and while he feels sorry for her his anger takes over.

Not anger directed towards her but towards that Akuma that was inside his daughter’s mind. That Akuma that was planted there by Hawkmoth. He is angry at Hawkmoth for using his little girl like this. For turning her in this, yes, monster.

He is shocked and hurt and overall just furious because how dare Hawkmoth doing that to his family. But he is human, after all. He is shocked in the wrong moment, in the moment in which Marinette wakes up and wishes for nothing more than understanding and comfort. But her father is irritated and confused and all that he feels is not yet sorted. So many questions in his head and all is unanswered. As soon as he develops the hate towards Hawkmoth it is already too late and Marinette has turned again.

That is what is discouraging him from caring for her. She has turned away, she is blocking everything and she is shrugging off every attempt by her mother to comfort her. It is irritating him how depressed Marinette has become and how little of her old self he can still recognize in his daughter. Because of this frustrating misunderstanding between father and daughter he is not acting and she is thinking that he does not love her anymore.

4) In case anyone is wondering, Sabine and Tom are still talking to each other and Sabine is encouraging him to step to his daughter but everytime he tries Marinette blocks off. Because Breeze is mostly told from Marinette’s view when it is regarding Tom we do not see his attempts to get through to her. I will get into detail for this in Marinette’s characterization.

 Because I feel like it, Sabine Cheng and Nino Lahiffe. It can only help hearing from them as well even though I do not need to go too detailed on these two.

1) I gave them about the same role in Breeze but we see more of Nino than of Sabine. These two are, funnily enough and contrary to the most comments, the most abnormal characters in this fanfiction. They are not reacting with mourning or anger towards anything, they are immediately jumping in to help and care for Marinette. Most of the comments said that Nino and Sabine are the only normal and human characters in the whole fanfiction even though they are everything but. They are, more likely, idealized characters, acting like we all wish we could if something like this happens to us.

To some extent it is possible to act that way, maybe even fully, but I gave them a more ignorant view towards the outer world, maybe even Nino more than Sabine, and towards their own needs. In Breeze, they do not even fully comprehend Ladybug’s death, they never even think or talk about it. All they see is the miserable state Marinette is in which is very honorable. Yes, they are, as the only ones, doing the right thing but in my opinion, it is only borderline possible since the world they are living in right now is way more dangerous and serious than “just” caring for Marinette’s well-being.

Do not get me wrong, I love these characters for being able to do that. I just think that it is funny how most commenters saw them as being the most normal while they clearly are not.

2) They see Ladybug’s death the same as Tom. Sabine maybe sees it a bit more motherlike, ergo she worries for Ladybug’s family (same frustration here) while Nino sees Ladybug more as a role model who has now died. It results in the same, namely the worries for Chat Noir as well as Paris.

3) They are caring for Marinette because they are the only ones drawing the line between Miss Fortune and Marinette like everybody should. They try to encourage her and comfort her but it is obviously not working since Marinette blocks off against her mother because she blames herself for hurting her and she does not really notice Nino’s attempts to comfort her. I will talk about that more in Marinette’s characterization.

4) Nino is still tolerated in the class and he is a huge help for Alya but nobody is really approving of him coming to Marinette’s defense. They think he is right to a certain extent but as I characterized them they are still blaming Marinette. But their focus is not on Nino, especially because he cannot exactly actively help Marinette (as I will talk about in her characterization), but on “the murderer in the class” so it does not really matter for the plot of Breeze.

 One of the heavier judged characters is Alya Césaire.

Yes… Yes. Wow. The feedback I got for her was-… Huge. Not quite uncommon was wanting to kill her. So please, let me break this down to you all.

1) Alya is Marinette’s best friends. We all know that, we all love their relationship and they are easy to ship because the chemistry is just there. So, I got a huge negative feedback on how I depicted Alya’s character in Breeze because in my fanfiction, she broke that picture and a lot of people (including me, by the way) did not like that. Let me explain why I did it and why I did it so extremely.

So Alya is without a doubt Marinette’s closest friend. They are like sisters and nothing ever broke that bond. So why did I decide to be a mean author and, of all things, break that relationship?

Okay, because I am sure we all know Alya’s character quite well I do not need to explain that again. As mentioned earlier I aged all the characters up accordingly so everything from the overall class characterization regarding age and seriousness can be projected onto Alya’s character plus her personal traits.

Let us start at the turning point in the first chapter. When Alya steps in to protect Marinette against Chloé. Marinette only has in mind what Chloé said to her, “Don’t you see they just hang out with you because they pity you?”, but Alya unfortunately did not hear that.

She is pulling Marinette now towards the office of Mr. Damocles to finally have some consequences for Chloé’s behavior. Marinette is asking her if Alya pities her and Alya thinks she is doing the right thing by answering yes, to comfort Marinette, but because she did not hear Chloé’s claim it is just the wrong thing to answer. Thus, the drama starts and the whole akumatization happens.

Alya is a mess. She has been attacked and hurt by her best friend, her role model is dead and nothing seems to make sense or give hope anymore. Nino, her love interest, is suddenly taking the side of his former crush (or so she thought? She is not sure about Nino’s interests at all anymore which additionally weighs down on her), Chat Noir is acting so completely not hero-like and it is pretty clear by now that at some point he will be overrun by Akumas and Paris will be lost.

2) Ladybug’s death lets Alya’s whole world crumble. Her role model, her favorite celebrity, her personal hero, killed by her best friend. For her it is basically the same as with Chloé just that for her it is way harder to deal with it. Chloé hated Marinette before, for her it is not a big deal to hate her even more. For Alya it is a mess. Not only has her best friend been akumatized because of her but she also attacked her, she killed Ladybug and on top of that she is trying to claim that Ladybug is not dead. How should she know, nobody remembers anything from their akumatization? Why is Ladybug not showing up anymore, then? Why did Marinette let something get to her that is so normal to them, the Chloé problem? Why, why, why did it happen at all?

Quite obviously Alya loses all hope at first. And all trust in Marinette. Her best friend has reacted to an originally comforting reply completely unreasonable and then has attacked her – after killing one of Paris’ greatest superheroes. She is completely drowning in fear, irritation, confusion, disappointment and anger that she does not even know where to start sorting out her feelings.

3) For this point I have decided that I will explain Alya and Adrien differently than the others since these two are the most important to understand. Now, I want you to imagine your best friend, a bully or a mean person you know and your role model. You have them all in mind? Take your time and imagine them. If your best friend and your role model are the two most different humans you can possibly think of (ergo you cannot imagine your best friend putting on a mask and then suddenly being your role model) then that is the best possible start. And now for the example: We have your best friend here. You are giving them ice cream. Everything is fine, you are laughing and the sun is shining. Suddenly, your best friend drops their ice cream that you gave them because the bully is shoving them. You act quickly and you smile and say “Don’t worry, I’ll get you another one.”, but your best friend is suddenly going crazy over the fallen ice cream. They are so in rage (and you absolutely do not understand why because it is just ice cream…?) that they kill your role model and attack you but completely leave the bully out.

I bet you are confused. Why would I compare Breeze to something like that?

Well, it is fairly easy. You are Alya Césaire, your best friend is Marinette, the bully you know is Chloé and your role model is Ladybug. For Alya it has been a normal situation, the ice cream that has been dropped to the ground can be an everyday thing. Normally you would say the bully is at fault but your best friend does not go crazy over the bully shoving them but over you telling them it is fine. And suddenly, your idol is dead, killed by your best friend over something so invalid that you cannot grasp just how it could have happened, especially over you being understanding and nice to your best friend. How would you treat your best friend?

Some would hate them. Some could not be able to look into their eyes anymore. Some would distance themselves from them because they cannot believe what they did.

But I bet that nobody would pat them on their shoulder and say “No, it’s fine you killed my idol, you weren’t yourself.”

And that is what I based Alya on. I cannot explain better how I decided to write her because that example hits it perfectly. It is an everyday situation and on the nice comment her best friend goes absolutely crazy. Of course, there are factors like Hawkmoth and overall akumatization but basically, it is just that. That Marinette has been akumatized is taking a backseat. Because all that Alya sees is “What the hell went wrong?”

 I think the most criticized character is Adrien Agreste.

So, let me explain that as well.

1) Adrien has been locked away from socializing for most of his life. We all know our sunshine boy. The first real friend he makes is probably Ladybug since technically, he meets her first. The second friend he makes is Nino. Then Marinette. Probably a bit later Alya.

So, he quickly considers Nino as his bro or best bud and Ladybug as his other best friend. And he falls in love with her. We all know the love square and we all know how hard Adrien is swooning over that girl’s superhero form. Now that we have the basics we can move on to how he’s coping with Ladybug’s death.

2) Not at all. His best friend, the love of his life, et cetera, is dead. Just like that he has been robbed of the one person who truly knew him, knew some of his darkest secrets since they have surely grown closer over the years by someone he considers a friend. Let us be honest, Ladybug was his world. And her being dead is just not imaginable. It is not fathomable for him, he cannot grasp it, he is truly lost. During the fight, he still believes she might show up but when he slowly comes to understand that Miss Fortune must be speaking the truth because where would Ladybug be if it was something else, he completely loses it. That is the reason why he deals with Marinette so harshly, because he just came to realize he has lost the love of his life.

3) And now imagine we take the scene from Alya, we are just replacing the best friend with someone you know and are on good terms with and the idol with your one true love (does not have to be crush, just the overall person you believe you will spend the rest of your life with) and you are watching the exchange, you are not even part of it. It is the same principle. The ice cream, the bully, the nice comment of their best friend and they go crazy. You do not understand, how, how could this have happened? And suddenly, the love of your life is dead.

For Adrien, there is also the exhaustion. He is the last remaining superhero, the last remaining defense and he is balancing his already stressful schedule with his superhero duties that have now doubled. The Akumas have doubled, the time to fight them has doubled, everything has doubled and he is not able to think straight anymore because of mourning Ladybug’s death and the overweighing exhaustion that is pulling him down. That boy is running himself ragged. He is slowly breaking down. Caring for Marinette would be too much for him, especially if he cannot even look at her.

He is feeling it like that class and especially like Alya, he is dealing with an overflow of emotions and he just cannot sort them all and push them aside in favor of comforting his lady’s murderer.

He is dealing with enough himself and ignoring Marinette is definitely his smallest problem.

Okay, that is the first half, the second will follow as soon as I wrote it with a reblog/follow up post.