#nobody in my life gets it at all. they think they do which just feels more alienating and mames me feel like im fundamentally wrong if im

[zeldasnotes]

how do you think Neptune in the 1st house can manifest itself in one’s life?

I already have my own opinion but I’ve got to hear yours

Neptune 1st house 🪄

DISCLAIMER & TRIGGERWARNING: Contains mentions of abuse. These are my personal observations and not facts. The whole chart has to be taken into consideration.

Neptune 1st house often means having a distorted sense of identity. This can be for a lot of reasons. If we look at Marilyn Monroe for example(such a cliche to bring her up like we dont hear about her all the time). But anyways Marilyn had no bond to her real parents. She didnt know who her father was and her mother was very mentally ill. Marilyn quickly started calling her fosterparents and other adult women ”mom” without knowing them and we know kids usually only say that to their mother. Then she was sexually abused at the age of 8. Abuse like this completely distorts someones identity and developement. She went from foster home to fosterhome. Here again not being able to have a home to completely call hers which adds to the no identity thing. Also having to act nice because shes constantly living with people shes not comfortable with.(Learning how to shapeshift) this makes Neptune 1st housers very good actors. This is a common childhood experience for a lot of Neptune 1st house people. Not the exact scenario as Marilyns but still, constant situations that takes away from the persons sense of being a real and stable person.

So with this placement you might feel like you 1. Dont know how you look. 2. Dont know who you are. Because you constantly had to focus on everything else other than creating an identity. Your parents and relatives probably projected onto you a lot too. People constantly TELL you who you are. They dont do it on purpose they just cant stop seeing their own issues or fantasies in you. So with this placement you have to learn how to take yourself back and get to know yourself from scratch. You might feel like you dont know what you want to work with, what your interests are or what you really think and feel about stuff. You also might have to learn to tell people off and get them to stop telling you who you are.

This placement can result in someone whos constantly in a state of disassociation, never completely here which can make you feel like an outcast because nobody will ever get ”you”. You might constantly become what the other person wants you to be and live life swinging between different personalities. If you are the undeveloped type you might even use this to manipulate everyone around you for fun or to gain from them.

Physically this makes someone very hard to describe. You come across differently to everyone to the point someone might say you are curvy while others say you are skinny. You might also change weight often. You can have a body thats skinny and curvy at the same time in a way nobody can describe it making it easier for them do project their ideal onto you. You might have a babyface and a very innocent kind of look. The eyes will be very glossy almost like you are crying or put lipgloss on them. A veil of glow over you. You might also have babyhair standing up around your hairline like a halo. Angelic and cute. You have a very hard time seeing yourself realistically which can (depending on rest of the chart) result in body dysmorphia, especially if Venus and Ascendant is afflicted.

[novembermorgon]

pls i need more info about rosamund!!! what house was her mother from? does she have siblings? do she and tyland have kids together? does she live in KL with him? what does she think of the royal family? ty!!!

omg .. :-) ask and you will receive! let me try to keep it somewhat brief... (i will fail)

rosamund is one of six children!! her mom is a serrett and her father was lord of castamere during viserys reign. she's the third child and she has one older brother, one older sister and three younger sisters.

sometime around 117 ac she begins a notably long courtship with tyland that lasts about 5 years (the only reason it just goes on and on is because she's exceptionally shy and anxious . it's kind of funny in the sense that they're just kind of skirting around it for years and years and every time they manage to prolong it by just never speaking very clearly to each other and somehow dodging direct confrontation for 5 years). eventually though they get married and they ARE very happy together.

in my mind she ends up sticking around in king's landing permanently after that . i like to think she becomes one of alicent's ladies in waiting because they're close in age and have cause to stick around each other a bit. in general though she's definitely not especially interested in court politics, prefers to keep to herself and mind her business and just sort of enjoy life at court (not that king's landing has ever been very fun ...) .

she never ends up having any kids with tyland .. i think it's sort of a spiral that goes down and down and down and eventually hits rock bottom for her if that makes sense - she definitely would want children but it's also very frightening to her. she worries about childbirth and then she worries about not being a good mother and it makes her anxiety very physical which leads to her miscarrying once, after which they kind of just stop trying, more for her comfort than anything else ..

when the war breaks out she's sort of pulled into it by default on account of her husband being on the small council ... </3 but again she herself is never really an active participant. she sits and worries and tries to keep herself out of the way. i feel like she has very complicated feelings on the royal family .. doesn't understand their drive for conflict and doesn't know why they, as a family, don't seem at all willing to make amends and communicate with each other - there's a frustration there especially when their conflict is pushed so heavily onto the rest of westeros. nobody benefits, nobody wins, nobody is ever left with anything but pain. she's closer to alicent than any of the other royals, but even then she sort of starts to hesitate in spending too much time with her when the war really gets going and she's wrapped up in it more wholly . struggles to understand and struggles to find common ground with her anymore so they drift apart.

when king's landing is taken over in 130 she's brought down into The Dungeons alongside tyland and kept there for as long as rhaenyra is on the throne. she knows absolutely nothing but she's tyland's wife so the thought is Well of course she knows where the crown's gold is because she's married to the guy who managed it and he's had to tell her something. unfortunately it results in very little information but a lot of really bad trauma. she doesn't get the worst of it but you can imagine . it's like this

post-war given how things turned out for both of them her and tyland are kind of left in this state of eternal .. stasis, almost ... they can't have children, they're sort of trapped at court endlessly for better or worse, they're getting older by westerosi standards ... but they definitely find some peace in that. even if she can't have kids on her own and even if her husband scares the other ladies at court she doesn't ever really have any want for things to change . never looks elsewhere for companionship even when she's reassured that it'd be fine and never makes the misery of their circumstances be a reason to turn elsewhere . when things settle back down somewhat i like to imagine she's genuinely happy for a bit . she wears her little veil every time she goes out both because i imagine she believes it'll make tyland feel less bad about not being able to show his face much and because she doesn't want to be perceived LOL

i think she spends a lot of time with jaehaera and aegon iii in the little period of time around 130-133 ac ... sort of gets to step in and try to look after these horrifically depressed children while half of court is busy trying to pick up the pieces of a terrible terrible civil war. they're also in some sense sort of stand-ins (in a pretty normal way, obviously she knows they're not Her children and they don't really see her as a mother either but they have that bit of a connection of taking care of someone - someone to care for you) for the children she didnt have herself .

she lives through the winter fever in 133 but kicks the bucket pretty soon after. ending on a bad note .. as usual .. she sees tyland die and sees alicent die and her mind sort of gives out and her body follows . when your anxiety makes you go OUhghuhhhhhhhhhhhh and fall over dead. probably right before jaehaera also ends up in her ... unfortunate situation ..

thats all . very summarized this is just me rambling but what's new..

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[bunnihearted]

🌧️🫧💭

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

[drifloonz]

one day ill be annoying ab my selfship again . although i enjoy that ppl enjoy my writing most of this is entirely self indulgent, projection, and for me . being so real .

[fingertipsmp3]

2024 affirmation: I will not dislocate my knee

[annie-thyme]

and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender

[anirudhpisharody]

.

[pearlpool]

:/

[mars-ipan]

honestly i don’t really think any mental illnesses have been like “destigmatized”- not fully at least. i think the stigma has just changed from demonization to “that’s not a real problem get over it god”

[blk-xniverse]

This year's just... yearing.

[strohller27]

.

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

[lorephobic]

i have a myriad of thoughts but none of them have enough merit to post individually so heres the bullets

• kind of losing my mind at the fact that mindcrack 3 takes place before villagers are added to the game

• obsessed with bdubs meeting thejims and immediately developing a homoerotic thing with him when he gives him a diamond sword and professes his love for him

• ive been so busy irl lately that i havent been watching anything, which means im gonna be terminally online for the next week since i need to recharge

[icewindandboringhorror]

*screenshots the highlights of my youtube to mp3 downloads folder as if it were some fancy aesthetic spotify wrapped image or whatever*