#nonetheless i am excited to work on this again.. people have been asking me about why X or Y isn't available online and the only thing i

[poptartmochi]

online store era...2!

[katstarry]

no one noticed | take our time

eddie munson x reader

part ii

masterlist ☆

part i | part iii

summary: you and eddie grow closer when eddie invites you to hangout outside of school.

warnings: fluff, pining, the upside down doesn’t exist here! a slow burn apparently, reader is introverted kinda

a/n: my obsession with him comes and goes but whenever it comes back IT COMES BACK HARDD 😭 it’s been a week of it consuming me again, i need more content of eddie! (robin & reader are very birds of a feather coded in my head)

feedback + reblogs are appreciated! ☆

you rush over to where robin is seated, not bothering to get in line for food. you’ll go later.

“i’m going crazy.” is what you say as soon as you reach her, interrupting what she was about to say, her mouth agape.

an amused expression covers her features, “oh? and why exactly, are you going crazy?” she leans closer to you, a knowing look in her eye.

you take a seat beside her, your back to eddie’s table.

“we got paired up for a project in history class.” is all you say as you steal a cold french fry from her tray.

“hey!” she swats your hand away, but she’s too late, “paired up, huh? i bet you’re thrilled!” she smiles over at you.

you groan and put your face in your hands.

“it wasn’t so bad, honestly. it was pretty fun. i didn’t make a fool of myself.” your words were muffled in between your hands, “…at least i hope not.” you say, facing your friend once again.

she laughs at your distress, “oh c’mon! you should be happy that you finally have an excuse to talk to him!”

“it’s not funny, robin! how am i going to survive this? oh my god, robin.” you look at her smiling, you know that you’re being dramatic. but besides your nerves, you are pretty excited to finally be talking to eddie.

“what?” she raises her eyebrows at you, eating her fries.

“he’s so dreamy.”

robin gags, “gross.”

you nudge her shoulder laughing, “oh please! maybe you’re right. i should just be happy about this. he was pretty nice.” you look at her and sigh dramatically, “it was pretty nice.”

“you’re hopeless.”

“you’re supposed to be hyping me up right now! i finally talked to my crush.”

“yeah, and i still can’t believe it only took you being partners for it to happen. by force.” she laughs when you pout.

“okay, okay! yes, of course i’ll hype you up. he’ll totally ask you out, though. i bet he’s thinking of you right now, planning how to do it. actually, he’s planning your marriage as we speak.”

“okay. let’s not get too crazy now.” you laugh, moving to stand to finally get in line for some food, but blushing at the thought nonetheless.

robin rolls your eyes at you, “you are too far gone.”

you steal one last fry from her before leaving, hearing a faint “oh c’mon!” behind you.

standing in line, you see the same girl from your history class in front of you, elizabeth? you think her name is?

she turns around, “oh, hey!”

“hey, elizabeth, right?”

“yes! you’re y/n? right?”

you smile, “yeah, we have history together.”

“right! i hope this project is over with quickly, i got stuck with byers,” she glanced at a table, “but it can’t be as bad as munson.”

you were taken aback, you knew what other people thought of him, but being outright rude is crazy.

“oh! eddie’s a great partner, honestly… we spent the class coming up with ideas. jonathan’s really nice too, i’ve helped him take some photos before for the yearbook.”

she raises an eyebrow at you, “hm. hopefully he won’t bring your grade down.”

you feel uneasy now, what’s her problem? do these people even give eddie a chance and actually talk to him?

“i doubt it, he seemed pretty excited.”

she laughs, “that’s because a girl is finally giving him some attention.”

“no, it’s because we’re working on a project together. and i dunno, i don’t talk trash about him?” you state, plainly, giving her an unamused look, not interested in continuing the conversation.

“wow, didn’t know you could even talk that much. that’s the most i’ve ever heard you speak!” she tilts her head at you mockingly, clearly you’ve upset her.

you don’t answer her, “could you move up? the lines moving.” avoiding her taunting gaze.

you see her roll her eyes from your peripheral, and she finally turns back around.

letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in, you finally make it to the food. mood ruined. why are people so mean. you’re starving. at least they’re serving your favorite today, chicken nuggets and fries. such an amazing meal, the best school food gets.

walking back to robin you catch a glimpse of eddie, he’s making another dramatic display. you don’t catch what he’s saying, since he stops his rant as you’re about to walk by, where he happens to be walking.

he bows dramatically, giving you room to walk around him, “my apologies, madame.” he smiles at you.

you shake your head laughing, “thank you, sir.”

you sit beside robin once again.

“finally! you’re back. it’s been too long! we’re finally reunited.” robin gives you a dramatic side hug.

“i know, sorry! i was held up by a troll. asked me to solve a riddle, couldn’t figure it out.”

she laughs, “oh yeah? how’d you make your away around it?”

“i ate it.” you deadpan, opening your pack of ketchup.

you finally turn to look over at her, both of you burst out laughing.

as you eat, you explain to robin your conversation with elizabeth.

“what an asshole.” she says as you both stand to throw away your trash and put away your trays.

“i know right!” you shake your head, putting your tray away.

“i just don’t understand why it bothers people so much if people don’t talk. like, hello! maybe they just don’t want to talk to you?” she says, “or- or, like why it bothers people so much that people are different from them, in general? the times i’ve occasionally spoken with eddie, he seemed pretty chill.” she raises her hands in exasperation.

“right? i don’t get it either.” you sigh.

walking out the cafeteria you join robin by her locker, before going to your own, where she accompanies you as well, and grab what you need.

“see you at dismissal?” you say.

“yup! i don’t have practice today, steve’s gonna pick me up. i got a shift after school today.” she gives you a fist bump before going on her way to class.

it’s finally the end of the day.

you can finally take that nap.

you make your way to your locker, leaving your books.

by the door on your way out you see robin, “we’re free!” she exclaims.

she wraps her arms around your shoulders, “let’s get outta here.” you say.

“what do you plan to do? while i’m away at family video, locked inside there, along with an annoying dingus, with no other choice but to do work?” she lets out an exasperated breath, looking over to you.

“i was planning on taking a nap.”

“fun!” she says, with fake enthusiasm. “was kinda hoping for a, ‘i’ll come by and see you, of course! you’re my bestest friend! i won’t let you suffer alone!’ but i see now how much you truly care about me.”

you laugh, “i’ll come by to see you, robs.” making your way to your car, steve isn’t here yet, so robin walks with you.

“really?” she says hopefully.

“yeah, after i take my nap.” you say, looking straight ahead.

“oh c’mon! your naps always last, like, forever!” she whines.

“it won’t be that long this time!” you look at her, and she looks at you.

“okay maybe it will be.”

she shakes her head as you reach your car, leaning onto it.

“you and your fucked sleep schedule.”

“it’s me and my crap sleep schedule against the world.”

“hey, i thought it was you and me against the world!”

you were too busy bantering with robin that you didn’t realize eddie walking up behind you.

he was looking for you in the hallways, even stopped by your locker. he was working up his courage all throughout lunchtime, and his last classes.

“y/n! wait!” he calls out your name, jogging to reach you.

you stop what you were about to say, staring at robin.

seeing her light up, a smirk appearing on her face.

turning your head, you’re met with eddie, hands on his knees, catching his breath.

“eddie?”

“yeah, hey. it’s me. givemeasec.” he breathes out, before standing upright again.

“hello.” he turns to robin, “and hello.” he nods his head to her.

“hey.” she looks behind him and looks back at you, “oh would you look at that? my rides here! i’ll call you later y/n! bye!” she leaves before you can even respond. you look at the direction she ran, steve’s not even here yet.

eddie turns back to face you, also looking confused by robin’s sudden disappearance.

“s’that usually happen?” he has an amused look on his face.

you shake your head, “no.”

“ah well- uh anyway. i wanna ask you something.”

oh? okay. cool. he wants to ask you something.

“yeah?”

“yeah.” he looks at you.

“okay.. you can ask me anything, eddie.”

“right! shit, uh. i was wondering, are you doing anything? later?” he sees your panicked look, he backtracks, “i mean to, y’know, work on the project.” nice save.

ah. you hide your disappointment, “oh, yeah sure. i’m not doing anything today.” oh robin’s gonna be pissed that you canceled your nap for this and not see her at work.

“okay, cool. uhh where do you wanna meet? i mean, we could go to my place? or if not that’s cool too we could go to the library or something. dunno.” he kicks a loose pebble in the parking lot, messing with his rings. cute.

“your place is fine. i could just follow right behind you,” you jiggle your keys in-front of you, “i gotta call my mom first though, let her know.” you flush, “uh, where is your place?” you ask, knowing your mom would want to know.

“it’s uh the forest hills trailer park.” he continues to fiddle with his rings, looking at you now.

“right, i know where that is. let me just ring her real quick, yeah? i’ll be right back!” you head towards the telephones outside the school, call your mom and assure her it’s just for a project and that you won’t take that long.

you head back to your car, seeing eddie still standing nearby.

“all good?” he says, smiling.

“yeah, let’s go.” you smile back.

on your drive there you realize what exactly you’re doing.

your going to eddie’s place.

you’re freaking out.

it’s okay, that’s cool. it’s just for the project. you have your notebook in your book bag still. you have your notes.

entering the trailer park and parking beside his van, you mentally prepare yourself. oh god, you’re going into his home.

breathe! you still can’t even believe your mom let you come over in the first place, to a boys place.

seeing eddie get out his van, you get out your car with your bag and stand awkwardly as you wait for him.

“this way, madame.” he says, walking ahead of you and up to the trailer. grabbing his keys from his pocket, he opens the door and lets you in first.

“welcome to my paradise.” he walks in after you, shutting the door behind him.

you look around the small living room. it’s cozy, comfortable, it feels homey. you gently place your bag on the couch.

“it’s a nice place eddie.”

he laughs and turns away, heading to the kitchen.

“you don’t have to lie.”

“i’m not lying.” you say, genuinely. “i used to live in a trailer too.”

he looks up, grabbing two cups. “really?”

you nod, “best years of my life, honestly. we moved to our current house when i was about,” you look up in thought, “7? 8? maybe?” you head over to where eddie stood.

he hums in acknowledgment. “didn’t know that.”

you shrug, “never really talked about it, not a big deal really.”

looking at you, he asks “would you like some water? soda? you can take a seat y’know.” he smiles over at you as he heads to the fridge.

taking a seat at one of the chairs at the table you answer, “hmm, what soda do you have?”

“uhh.. let me see.” he moves things around, “got some pepsi, sprite, coke..”

“i’ll take some coke, please.”

“comin’ right up, sweetheart.”

your brain nearly explodes.

oh you’re definitely calling robin after this.

he comes back to you with two cans of coke for the both of you.

“thank you. what a wonderful host.” you smile at him as he pulls out the chair beside yours and sits in it.

“you’re welcome.” he laughs.

“right.. so..” you open your can, “the project?”

a brief look of confusion crosses eddie’s face. right. the project.

he clears his throat, “yeah, the project. um, i’ll be getting the stuff tomorrow.” he stepped out during lunch for a bit to sell and earn some more cash, thankfully he got enough for the materials for the poster board, they’re pretty affordable anyway.

“alright, cool! thank you for that, by the way. i wouldn’t of had minded buying it.”

he shakes his head, drinking from his can. “no, no. it’s fine. i don’t mind.”

you’re about to say something when he gives you a look, “fine.” you huff in defeat.

“good.” he smiles, knowing he won.

“let me grab my notebook from my bag.” you get up and grab your book bag from the couch, unzipping it and looking for your notebook.

huh.

you look through it again, pulling out the ones you do have, double checking.

you can’t believe it. you literally have all your notebooks, except your history one. you sigh frustratedly, zipping your bag back up and heading back towards the kitchen, empty handed.

“couldn’t find it?”

“couldn’t find it.” you continue to stand, “sorry.”

“nah, it’s fine. uh.” he looks at his watch, “hasn’t been that long, if you, maybe wanna stay for a bit longer?” he taps on his can, please say yes.

you keep your excitement at bay, trying to remain cool.

“yeah, that’d be cool.” nice. super cool.

“cool.”

you sit back down, “so..” you smile, looking down at your can of coke.

“soo….” he mimicks.

“i wanted to let you know, about me calling my mom, it isn’t because i don’t trust you, i swear. she just likes knowing where i am, she worries.” you look at him.

“it’s all good. don’t worry ‘bout it.” though he does look as though he feels more comfortable now, “you get used to it.”

“you shouldn’t have to.”

he shrugs, changing the subject, “nice that your mom’s protective of you though.”

you laugh, “not as much as my dad though.”

“really? what’s he like?” he tilts his head at you, asking in genuine curiosity.

“well.. i’m the only girl. so you could imagine how protective he can be. he’s not like, controlling, but he’s just a bit strict. curfews and stuff like that.”

“hmm. you have siblings, then? brothers?”

“yeah,” you smile, “three actually. 2 older brothers and one younger. my older brothers moved out already though, but they visit frequently.. do you have any?”

“me? nah, no, i don’t. only son.”

you nod your head.

“live here with my uncle wayne, actually.” he moves his gaze back down to the table, “he works at the factory most days, ‘s why he’s not here right now.”

“oh cool, my dad used to work there too.”

“what’s he work in now?”

“construction. he’s out of the city on the weekdays, comes home on weekends. though sometimes he doesn’t come for a few weeks if the job is too far away.”

this is the most you’ve told someone about yourself, other than robin, in just a day.

you’re really going crazy.

“that’s cool-” he tries to find a way to lighten the mood after seeing your expression, but accidentally lets out a loud burp.

you laugh and he smiles.

“‘scuse me.” he laughs, covering his mouth.

“i lived with my brothers, trust me, you’re all good.” still laughing.

“what’s your uncle like?”

he goes on to talk about his uncle wayne, the conversation goes smoothly. you feel at ease with eddie’s jokes and banter, it’s an automatic click. a rare thing for you to come by, you hope this is the first of many hangouts. you realize that your closest friends are the complete opposite of you—robin, who can somehow make a conversation not boring, always including you with her other friends and makes you be apart of the conversation. it’s the same with eddie, how do they do it? it must be a superpower, or something.

you finish laughing after a story he had been telling you involving his friends from hellfire when you speak up, “could you tell me the time?”

he looks down at his watch, “uhh, it’s about to be 7 o’clock,” looking at you through his bangs, “tryna ditch me, sweetheart?”

dramatically grabbing at his chest, he says “i’m wounded.” and nearly falls out his chair.

“definitely. yeah, i can’t wait to get outta here.” you reply sarcastically, “i do have to go though.” you sigh.

“i had a lot of fun.”

he crosses his arms and smiles. “as did i.”

you get up from the chair, eddie does too and walks to the couch, grabbing your bag and handing it to you once you reach him. “thanks.”

he opens the door for you and walks you to your car, “we should uh, do this again sometime. hangout..” he scratches his neck, looking around before looking at you once again.

“i’d love to!” you twirl your keys in your hand.

“cool! can’t wait.” he clears his throat. “see you tomorrow? at school?”

“see you, eddie.” you smile over at him when you open your car door, getting in and closing it.

you can’t stop smiling on your drive home, you just hung out with your crush. you’re friends with your crush now.

right as you get home and talk to your mom, you immediately call robin spending another few hours talking to her.

you go to sleep that night feeling happy, and you can’t wait for the next day to come.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

For The Gold 🥇 | Top Gun Maverick Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

Link to my TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Pilot/Olympian!reader x Dagger squad (platonic), slight Lt. Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Content warnings: fluff, mentions of injuries, slight profanity. Might be emotional for you so be warned| Gn!reader (They/them) | wc: 12k+

Premise: In which the 2019 TopGun Uranium detachment return to Fightertown to watch and cheer on their colleague & friend as they compete on the greatest sporting stage the world has ever seen for their last chance at Olympic glory.

Note: so I was an athlete growing up (I did gymnastics, soccer, and figure skating) and although I no longer pursue my dream of going to the Olympics (my biggest regret in life) I still get super excited when it comes around. It’s currently World Cup season & I’m hyperfixating to say the least on sports and now have these ideas of a professional athlete!reader works for the dagger squad. Let me know if you want more because I totally have ideas for other sports— especially the ones I played because I have more personal knowledge of them, but I LOVE watching the track and field and nearly went that path when I was a kid because I loved to run and was really fast (I played wing for soccer in high school and I always had people tell me I should’ve been on the track team instead). For this imagine, imagine you were born in 1990 so it would put you at age 30-31 in 2021 and just to be clear this is following the idea that the events of TGM took place in 2019 since the movie was supposed to come out around that time or 2020.

“Let’s freaking go!!!” Javy practically shouts as he claps his hands when entering The Hard Deck to a crowd of people and his friends. Eyes were already glued to the multiple TV screens Penny had set up with the help of regular patrons. There was a table filled with food set out, coolers of ice and beers donated by customers. The bar was buzzing with excitement with many sporting team USA gear and waving American flags. It was the early hours of the morning—literally 5 am and everyone in the building had slept the duration of the previous day in order to pull an all-nighter or had just woken up. They wanted to watch the event live and not the replay later that day due to the 17 hour time difference. News crews were there as well, hoping to catch everyone’s reaction.

The squad rolled their eyes at their colleague, but smiled nonetheless. They too were filled with anticipation. “How much time until their up?” Coyote asked, taking a beer before finding a place beside Hangman. The Dagger squad had arrived early to get good spots with Coyote being the last to arrive. Now there was hardly any space in some areas with the turn out. Civilians and servicemen swarmed every corner.

“About thirty or so minutes. They should be coming into the arena soon.”

Everyone from TopGun was there, including Cyclone, Warlock, Hondo, Maverick and the current aviators going through the TopGun program. Many of the former 2019 detachment had gone off to their old or new assignments, but as soon as the announcement of the team hit the news they were popping off in the group chat and booking flights to Fightertown.

So here they all were. All 12 of the special detachment that trained together for a high-risk uranium enrichment plant mission back again in the Hard Deck like the first night three ago. Rooster, Hangman, Coyote, Phoenix, Bob, Fanboy, Payback, Fritz, Halo, Omaha, Harvard, and Yale. They were only missing one person.

The person across the Pacific Ocean who was the reason they were together to cheer on from home, and would be going for the gold in one final run.

It was the first week of August, 2021. The Games of the XXXII Olympiad in Tokyo, Japan.

What should have been held the year prior, was postponed due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. Now after years of hard work & dedications, nearly 12 thousand athletes from 206 nations around the world were gathered for the greatest sports event in history.

17 days, 339 events in 33 sports. The gold medal on the line.

For Y/n L/n, this was the moment they’d been waiting for. At 31 years old, Y/n spent their entire childhood and adolescence dreaming of the day they would walk through the tunnel of an Olympic arena to represent the USA. From the moment they could walk the track became their life. Their parents were coaches at Vanderbilt University and were the contributing factor to them pursuing the sport. And at age six, Y/n sat in the stands of the Centennial Olympic Stadium in the summer of 1996 where they witnessed with awe as Micheal Johnson won the gold for the USA in the Men’s 200m & 400m sprint and Carl Lewis defended his title of the long jump champion for four consecutive Olympics. Just days prior Y/n witnessed history for USA Gymnastics when the Magnificent 7 defeated Russia for the US’s first women’s All-Around team gold medal.

It was a memorable Games, held on home soil in the city of Atlanta and with many firsts and defenders.

It was the spark of a lifelong goal for the six year old in the stands.

Blood, sweat, and tears were put into training. From an early age Y/n loved to run. But sprinting was their passion. The 100m, 200m, & 400m became their sole focus.

Everyday, sometimes twice or three times Y/n was running drills and sprints. Their day would start with an early morning jog with their dad before the sun was even out, followed by breakfast before heading to the track. From there they would stretch, run drills, and conditioning. Then they would have an hour break for lunch before doing it all over again until dinner. The day would end with another cycle of drills and conditioning. Y/n would be out of breath, sweating, and sometimes in pain.

But they were determined. Like most athletes who dedicate their lives to the international level they became homeschooled and missed out on many things a typical child or teen would experience. Though Y/n had friends it was only a select few. There was hardly time for a social life and therefore it was hard for them to form connections. It wasn’t until they got into competitions did they begin making friends with fellow competitors.

At age 10 Y/n participated in their first meet. It was a let down, but not a total loss. Sure they didn’t win a medal but they didn’t come in last and that in itself was a win in their eyes. It just made them more determined to do better and the next season they delivered by claiming a regional title. As years went by regionals became state titles and soon Y/n was a national champion at age 16. That winning season had brands reaching out to sponsor the teen, but if they were to also take a chance at an NCAA title in college then sponsorships were gonna have to wait.

2008 was the year to remember. Y/n had attended their first World Championships and although they didn’t win gold, they took the bronze and became a likely contender to make the Olympic team in the upcoming trials. They had just graduated with their diploma and had accepted a full ride to Vanderbilt University as part of their track team. What came as a big surprise to their parents was Y/n would not just be getting their degree and competing for the college team, they would also be doing the Naval ROTC program.

Unbeknownst to their family, Y/n was drawn to the world of aviation. Their grandfather was a fighter pilot for the Navy and would tell them stories of what it was like in the air. He even had a cool callsign, ‘Viper,’ and taught at the Navy’s prestigious school for pilots. When Y/n was a child, he would take them to the air shows and teach them all about the maneuvers they were doing and even brought them to TopGun. They were in awe as he would explain all the gadgets and weapons of the F-14.

Yes, track and the Olympics was their life, but something was calling them to the skies.

��Honey, where did this come from? You never talked about joining the Navy before,” their mother said with confusion at the dinner table when Y/n explained their upcoming schedule. “If you make the team this summer I hope you’re not planning for this to be your only games. You’re so young and could easily go again for London and the 2016 games.”

“That’s still the plan, mom,” Y/n sighed, “But you remember all those stories grandpa would tell me about his pilot days? I want to do something more in case this doesn’t work out—have a backup plan per say. What if I tear my hamstring or something happens that I have to retire?” It wasn’t something they liked to think about, but with being an athlete the next meet is never guaranteed. Injuries are common—especially torn ACLs and hamstrings. Y/n had other passions besides track and wanted something there for if the worst happened.

“Y/n, if you do two years of their program you have to decide whether to commit or not and you’ll likely be commissioned when you graduate,” their father pointed out, “That means you’ll have new priorities and if you're serious about flight school that is going to cut time off the track. London is possible given it will be your last year in college—maybe we can pull some strings and have your commission pushed back if you make the team—-but I don’t think 2016 would be. You’re talking balancing a career as a Naval officer and professional athlete. That’s a lot to take on—physically and mentally.”

He had a point and Y/n knew it. London was in four years and definitely possible even if they fail to make the Beijing team. The location of 2016 had yet to be decided, but with the timing it would put Y/n four years into a possible Navy career.

Still they were wanted to make both work.

An Olympic champion and a fighter pilot.

First they had to get through 2008 and boy was it a year to remember. It fulfilled one half of the Olympic dream for Y/n: making the team and competing on the world’s greatest sporting stage. Tears streamed down their face as they embraced their parents following the end of the trials. It was a hell of a trials with Y/n competing against some of the best track stars in the country. They were completely starstruck when Allison Felix congratulated them following the announcement, Y/n remembered watching her four years prior in Athens for her Olympic debut and thought, ‘I really hope we’re teammates in Beijing.’

Unfortunately, a gold medal was not in store for the athlete. Of the three events; 100m, 200m, & 400m, Y/n only qualified for the 200m & 400m after finishing in the top two of their heat. The night of the 200m finals was a saddening with Y/n finishing fourth, just shy of a medal, but the Games were not a total loss when days later an Olympic bronze medal was placed around their neck and the American Flag rose alongside Great Britain and Jamaica’s.

And so the next four years of training for London—with Rio De Janeiro in 2016 looming around the corner—began the second they touched back on U.S soil. On top it was the pressure of securing NCAA titles not to mention A’s & B’s in their classes, while also getting through one of the top collegiate ranked NROTC programs.

It was a lot. And Y/n became burnt out at times. They had already set their name in record books at the national level, now it was time to amp up the game on the international and college level. A bronze medal would not satisfy Y/n, gold was the goal.

It all paid off by the time 2012 arrived. With a few more national titles under their belt and a World Championship in the 400m, Y/n was the talk for a gold among commentators. At the end of their collegiate career they secured several titles in their three events and managed to come out with a 3.8 cumulative GPA. In regards to the NROTC Y/n committed to the program after their second year and was set to commission that summer. The trials were around the same time as what would have been the ceremony, but after several meetings they allowed it to be postponed until after the trials. It would be some time before Y/n would be assigned an OTS due to the path they were taking with flight school and therefore it would likely not interfere with the upcoming Olympics. “Bring home the gold for us,” the officer shook their hand at the end. It filled them with nerves, but mostly perseverance, “I plan to.”

The trials were a success once again with Y/n having the honor to call themselves a two-time Olympian. The five colored rings were tattooed on their bicep, something they did immediately after Beijing that often resulted in being recognized in public, and gold was in their mind. After qualifying for all three events and earning a place on the 4x100 relay, Y/n had four chances at the gold: 3 individual and 1 team.

It was a silver lining moment in all three individual events. After failing to qualify for the 100m finals in Beijing, Y/n pulled a show stopping finish in the last heat earning them a place in the final. It was the most heat pumping 10 seconds of their life that happened in the blink of an eye. Before they knew it they were on the podium with a silver medal and the same would follow in the 200m and 400m. At the end of the 400m ceremony they were bombarded by reporters with the same question, “Y/n, what a run tonight, congratulations again this is your third medal in these games and it seems to be a silver lining moment for you. What are your thoughts?”

Still coming off the emotion from winning their fourth Olympic medal, a privilege not many could say, Y/n smiled wide, “It’s amazing really, you know I took the bronze four years ago in this event and I’m so grateful to come out with another medal—this time being silver. I couldn’t believe Monday night when I took the silver in the 100m—just making it to the finals after not qualifying in Beijing was an accomplishment and same goes for taking second in the 200m. I want to thank my parents, who are also my coaches and have been with me on this journey since the beginning. I’m just so blessed and filled with happiness tonight—I could not have done this without them.”

“You still have a chance at the gold in Wednesday’s relay. How are you feeling about that? What can we expect by the team?”

“We have such an amazing group for the relay, I’m so honored I get to represent the United States alongside them. Every one of us have worked so hard to be here and have really put our blood, sweat, and tears. Hopefully bring home the gold—I know each of us are going to give it our best.”

Y/n’s publicist from the side was signaling for them to hurry up, “One last question before you go,” the reporter quickly said. “For the people at home who have been cheering you on these past four years, can we expect you to return for Rio? I know you could very well take the gold in the relay, but are you hoping to try for an individual in the future?” This was the question Y/n had been preparing for the entire games. Having managed to keep their NROTC program hidden from the media, it troubled Y/n to reveal they would be a Navy officer by the end of the summer. It wasn’t odd for active duty members to be athletes, there were plenty who participated in the games every four years. It would just be difficult given the career path they chose and having to get all the paperwork filed for time off around meets and international competitions.

After a moment of thinking, they finally answered, “I’m very lucky I get to say I competed in these games twice now. I’m twenty-two now and will be twenty-six by the time Rio comes around—not to mention I start flight school pretty soon,” there was immediate surprise by the reporter, but Y/n continued and was quick to finish with. “I’m gonna work hard as I always do and hopefully Rio is in the cards for me. But to give a yes or no imma just say yes, that is the plan.”

Before the reporter could question the topic of flight school, Y/n was already saying goodbye and letting their publicist pull them away. The relay was in two days and was their last chance at winning a gold for the London games. Of course, Y/n was hopeful they would make the Rio team for the sake of winning an individual gold medal. There would no doubt be glory and honor if they were to win the relay, but it had been their dream since childhood to stand on the podium with a gold around their neck for one of their events.

The relay was all they ever dreamed of. A strong group with Y/n leading the first leg before handing it off, giving their teammate a great start to pull a lead against the other nations. As they were walking back to the start, their heart was racing and not just from the adrenaline…but by their teammate being the first to cross the finish line. Then there was the sound of the announcer amongst the roaring crowd, “WORLD RECORD!!!” with the USA appearing beside the #1 spot.

Y/n was screaming before they could stop themselves, “Oh my god!!” knees hit the track as they sank to the ground. They couldn’t even hear themselves by the cheers. It was a spectacular moment with Y/n pulling themselves up to run and embrace their teammates and share the glory they just made. Not only were they Olympic champions but also World Record holders of the 4x100m relay.

“The United States has taken the gold here today in the 4x100m relay and a new world record has been set thanks to the extraordinary start by Y/n L/n.” “This relay group gave it their all today, John. It was such a close call coming around on the third leg, but the Americans pulled through for a stunning finish for Olympic gold.”

With an American flag in their hand, Y/n joined their teammates beside the record projection. They were teary eyed, but held off from crying because they knew the emotion would come full heartedly on the podium. And boy did it come. The second the national anthem was playing, the first tear fell from Y/n’s eyes. The medal was heavy around their neck, but it was a reminder that they achieved the goal they set out when they were six years old.

Olympic champion.

And they got to share it with their teammates—an immense honor they would cherish till the end of time.

Y/n could barely remember all that happened following the podium ceremony. After a celebration with their parents and best friend, who flew all the way out to London to support them, they had no more events and got to rest for the remainder of the games. Closing ceremonies were spectacular. One of Y/n’s favorite moments from the Beijing games was getting to mingle with athletes from the other nations during the closing ceremonies. This time around Y/n was speechless as they got to see a Spice Girls reunion and One Direction perform.

Life became chaotic to say the least following the return from London. After winning four medals including a gold, Y/n was asked by several talk show hosts to appear for an interview. They accepted a few and were immediately bombarded with questions about the little detail they slipped after winning the silver in the 400m. “You made it known to the world that you’ll be going to flight school, was it? What can you tell us about that?”

“Well during my time at Vanderbilt, where I competed for them in the NCAA—which can I say, It’s a completely different ball field when your parents are not only your coaches for international competitions but also college meets. The energy is different, especially because they’ve been there for almost two decades now and are the definition of school spirit. Anyways, while I was there I also took the route of doing their Navy ROTC program. My grandfather was a fighter pilot for the Navy and pretty much became my inspiration for wanting to fly—on top of being an athlete. It was something I thought long and hard about. I wasn’t sure if I would even make the London team and of course anything can happen, but I knew I wanted to go to fight school back when I competed in 2008. I actually will be commissioning once I’m done with all this post-Olympic press.”

The ceremony was a bittersweet moment. With their friends and family around them, Y/n was pinned on with the ranks of Ensign and named an officer of the United States Navy. From there were the challenges of balancing a career as both a professional athlete and naval aviator. Often were days of bad mental health and aches after overexertion. OTS & Flight school was intense but shaped Y/n in many ways. The first day they were recognized by a classmate resulting in the callsign, “Olympian,” after everyone would say, “Hey, Olympian!” when calling out to them after two straight days.

“Could’ve been worse,” Y/n chuckled after their parents were like, ‘really?’ when they told them. “I mean it could have been something like ‘Short-track,’ or ‘Goldilocks,’ if they thought about it. If I fucked up doing something then they would’ve named me something related to it. I’ll take Olympian cause that’s what I am.”

After completing flight school and receiving their first duty station, Y/n made the decision to hire a new coach. The World Championships were coming up and they did not want to uproot their parents while they were still the head coaches at Vanderbilt. At first they protested, but eventually relented on the condition that Y/n’s coach would be their former colleague. He was the former head coach of Vanderbilt when their parents were athletes themselves before becoming assistant coaches. “He is everything you need to bring your A-game these next seasons and Rio. I’ll make the call first thing in the morning and see what he says.”

The four years between London and Rio were brutal. The training with their new coach and balancing an aviation career showed more hardships than ever. Y/n proved themselves to be a talented pilot despite the struggles and eventually was invited in 2015 to attend the Navy’s prestigious Fighter Weapons School more commonly known as Top Gun. The same place their grandfather attended and taught at.

A hard decision had to be made when the invite came. The time period interfered with the track season and Y/n would not be able to defend their two-consecutive world titles in the 400m sprint. In the end, Y/n announced they would be pulling out from the 2015 season to attend Top Gun. They weighed out the pros and cons and felt it was the best route given the Olympics were a year away. If an injury were to occur then it could result in Y/n not even having the chance to do the trials. Their coach was frustrated in the beginning, as one would be after dominating the national and international meets for two years straight. He eventually put his differences aside to put focus on what Y/n needed to improve if they were to take the gold in Rio.

It was at Top Gun that Y/n met fellow naval aviator Natasha “Phoenix” Trace. They were seated next to each other in one of the many lecture rooms at Fightertown where Nat had to do a double take after recognition sparked in her. Nat was an athlete in high school and college who, like many, would sit with her family to watch the Olympics every four years. Though she didn’t run track, a sibling of hers did so they would always tune into the events when they came on. After seeing the patch reading ‘Olympian,’ Nat had to hold back her fangirling as the memory of her cheering when the US took gold in the 4x100m relay. ‘It has to be them.’ At the end of the lecture she approached Y/n with a shy smile, “I’m so sorry if this is weird for you, but are you Y/n L/n? I’m Natasha—Phoenix.”

They struck up a friendship during their time at Top Gun. The two bonded over their NCAA careers and sports in general. Nat admired Y/n for being able to balance being an athlete and aviator, for she made the difficult decision to not pursue her sport after college. What was ironic was they didn’t feel threatened by the other when going after the top spot in their class, considering they were both obviously competitive. Both had immense respect for the other, and didn’t care at the end of the day who came out on top. They both had similar hobbies outside of flying and would spend nights watching movies, going to the bars, or playing volleyball with their fellow pilots. It was a genuine friendship with Nat supporting Y/n even after they graduated from Top Gun both ranked #1 in their class.

Nat even took time off to attend the 2016 U.S. Track & Field Olympic Trials. There she witnessed Y/n, who she now called a best friend, qualify for their third consecutive Olympics. Nat never screamed louder in her life than when Y/n took the top spot on the team for their events. “Oh my God, you did it!” She hugged the athlete when it was all done. “Holy shit congratulations, Oly! This is it—this is gonna be your year!” Nat wouldn’t be in Rio, but promised to cheer Y/n from home.

Unfortunately the journey for the individual gold medal ended before it could even start. After qualifying for the 100m and 200m finals with the expectation of being part of the relay team once again, Y/n’s dream of gold crashed during the semifinals of the 400m.

Literally crashed.

Their signature event which had an Olympic bronze and silver to their name as well as several World titles, ended in catastrophe. As Y/n came up on the last leg with the final turn, Y/n had a tight lead against their main opponent. But before they could blink the athlete to their left tripped and fell to the side directly in front of them. Moving so fast and unable to stop to avoid the person, Y/n topped over and felt a searing pain in their side as they landed awkwardly.

Gasps rang out before the stadium fell silent with just the faint sound of cheers from the winners of the race. Y/n was panting, clutching onto their side as fire filled the entire right side of their body. The athlete who tripped was in tears and apologizing profusely. There was still adrenaline from the sprint as the arena stopped spinning around Y/n. Determined to cross the finish line, Y/n pulled themself up and helped their fellow athlete up, “It’s okay, c’mon. Let’s finish this.” They were crying and Y/n had their own tears from the pain in their side and leg, but they only had a few yards to go. Cradling their right arm, Y/n was practically limping alongside their opponent while struggling to breath. Each time they took a breath they were met with pain, not to mention each step had them wince.

They didn’t want to think of the extent of the injuries. The pain alone indicated it was bad. Y/n knew right there their Rio run was done for. Their lips trembled as the reality set in.

The athlete saw Y/n’s condition and immediately brought them to their side as they approached the finish line. Cheers and claps ignited the stadium. There was no doubt they were moved by the display of sportsmanship between two athletes from differing nations. Both with the same goal of Olympic glory that would not be delivered.

Y/n was swarmed by the medical staff. The athlete who tripped them kept apologizing, filled with guilt, embarrassment and shame causing injuries to the Olympian. They felt a little pain from falling but nothing to the extent Y/n had. They had practically gone flying forward and crash landed to avoid hitting their head hard on the track. Now that the adrenaline had finally worn off, Y/n was having to do everything to hold back from collapsing. Y/n embraced the athlete with a hug despite the multiple medics yelling at them, “Don’t blame yourself, it could have happened to anyone. Okay? I’m not angry with you at all.” It was true, Y/n wasn’t angry. Were they sad? Of course, their Olympics were totally over after being diagnosed with a fractured right arm, a bruised rib, mild concussion from hitting their head on the track, and a torn ACL in their right knee.

Commentators were speechless when the incident occurred, “Coming around the corner on the final stretch it’s a tight race between USA, Jamaica, and France—Oh! Oh no! Oh my goodness, there’s been a crash here ladies and gentleman and it doesn’t look good for the American Y/n L/n. Not at all, they are not moving—oh wait no they are getting up right now and helping the athlete from Poland. But L/n looks to be in pain they’re holding onto their arm and I can see they are having trouble jogging—a slight limp to their step. Now the Polish athlete has taken L/n under their arm and they are crossing the finish line to the cheers of the arena in a display that could only be described as what the Olympics is truly about. Great sportsmanship here folks. It’s unsure what L/n is feeling right now but one thing is certain, we will not get to see Y/n go for the gold in the 400m final.”

After the race when the NBC announcers live from Rio were in the studio recapping, they gave an update to Y/n’s situation.

“Breaking news we’ve just received on American Y/n L/n. After the unfortunate incident in tonight’s 400m semifinal, the 26-year-old from Nashville, Tennessee was rushed to the hospital after it was realized the injuries they sustained were more severe than what they thought. It’s being reported Y/n is in surgery for a fracture to their right arm and torn ligament in their right knee. It’s also been noted the athlete suffered a mild concussion as well as a bruised rib. Their coach has come out with a statement on behalf of L/n letting it be known they’ll not be competing in the 100 and 200m finals nor the 4x100 and 4x400m relays they were scheduled to compete in. L/n also has said they will remain in Rio to recover until after the conclusion of these Olympic Games before returning with their teammates to the States.

“The gold medalist in the team relay from four years ago has not said if they will be aiming for a shot at the 2020 games in Tokyo, Japan. L/n was the 2008 bronze medalist in the 400m dash before claiming silver medals in the 100, 200, and 400m in London as well as sharing the gold for the 4x100m relay. They were the leading contender for an individual gold in one of the events after dominating the 2013 and 2014 World Championships. The three-time Olympian pulled out from the 2015 season due to conflicting commitments after revealing in 2012 they were commissioned into the United States Navy following their time at Vanderbilt University. These games in Rio were their first international competition since the one year hiatus. We can only hope Y/n will continue their journey to an individual gold medal in Tokyo, but from those of us in the studio and on behalf of everyone watching at home, we wish Y/n L/n a speedy recovery and safe trip back to the States.”

It was a solemn week in Rio with Y/n sitting in a hospital bed and the games playing on the tv screen. Their coach was with them, as was their dad and together they cheered the US when they took the gold in several events including defending the 4x100m relay. The doctors in Rio gave Y/n a recovery period of nearly one year—the longest healing process being the torn knee. It would be nine months until Y/n could even jog on it, but the doctors recommended waiting a full year before testing it. PT was going to be a pain in the ass, but as long as they didn’t run or do sprints then Y/n would be able to do all else after everything else healed.

Their concussion lasted a couple weeks and the bruised rib took over a month to heal, as did the fractured arm. The 2017 worlds and nationals were out of the question. Thankfully Y/n was still able to fly once the concussion was gone and their arm was fully functional.

The entire year the athlete was unsure of what to do about Tokyo. All their focus was put into flying. Running missions instead of the track and being promoted to Lieutenant in 2018. That same year they decided to try for one more shot at Olympic gold by training for Tokyo. Their coach and parents were all too pleased—even Nat after Y/n called her up to ask for advice. They had a lot to work on since Y/n waited an extra six months after fully recovering. The 2018 season was unattainable so the goal was a comeback in the 2019 season gearing up for the 2020 Olympics.

Just like when Y/n was a child, blood, sweat, and tears were put into training. More times could they remember wanting to quit when their knee started to act up after a bad start off the blocks. They had more arguments with their coach which only fueled the fire. Lastly they were on intense missions that took a toll on their mental health. Nat would check in on them every once in a while, but Y/n brushed it off. This is what they signed up for. They made their bed, now they were to lay in it.

2019 nearly brought deja vu. The World Championships were held in Qatar at the end of September leading into October when Y/n got the call from Vice Admiral Beau ‘Cyclone’ Simpson.

“The Pentagon has tasked me with assembling a strike team for a special detachment. I’ve seen your record and I feel you have what it takes to be a possible member of this mission. Now I know your situation and it is my understanding you’re currently in Qatar, what time are you expected to be stateside?”

Y/n’s hands were shaking, dread filling them at the thought they would likely have to decline an assignment. But these championships were more imported. “The last day is the sixth, but if I qualify for the finals of all my events then I should be done by the fifth, sir.”

“That’s perfect,” his words had them sigh in relief. “The tentative date to report to North Island is the 24th. I’ll be emailing you the information at another time.”

“Yes, sir. I will be there. Thank you for informing me, sir.”

“Oh and Lieutenant?” Cyclone stopped them before they could end the call.

“Yes, sir?”

There’s a slight pause, “Good luck out there. Bring home the gold for us.”

And bring it home they did. In an amazing comeback after what could have been a career ending injury, Y/n L/n reclaimed their title as the world champion in the 400m dash. They fell short in the 200m, but left with the silver and even secured the gold for the team 4x100m & 4x400m relays. People called it the ‘comeback of the decade,’ and Y/n fell subject to a lot of media attention in the world of sports. Their publicist did their best to handle the press once they found out about Y/n’s upcoming commitment. “I won’t let a single soul find out about this, Y/n, I promise you. The devil works hard, but I work harder.”

Once stateside track was put on hold to prepare and partake for the special Top Gun detachment. Dressed in their service khaki’s, Y/n entered The Hard Deck for the first time in three years and was immediately tackled by Phoenix. “You’re here! Holy shit when did you get back?”

“Like two weeks ago, I’ve been chilling since Qatar since there were no assignments until this.”

“Wait, you’re here for the Top Gun detachment too?” Phoenix raised a brow before frowning, “Why didn’t you tell me the other day on the phone?”

Y/n gave the woman a look, “I wasn’t sure we could even mention it to people. Plus you didn’t say anything either, Phee.” They got her there, the pilot raising a hand as if to say, “touché”. By now they have drawn the attention of several other aviators, who all appeared amused by the display of affection by Natasha and were curious to know who it was that received it. One person, Bob, had their jaw dropped when it clicked who they were. Payback appeared to be deep in thought, like they recognized Y/n but couldn’t put a name to their face.

“Trace, you gonna introduce us to your friend?” the blonde aviator, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin said with a pool cue in hand. He was totally checking Y/n out with a settle drift of the eyes up and down. They didn’t look impressed but smiled to the others nonetheless.

Natasha brought the pilot over and proudly introduced them, “Fellas, this is Y/n L/n. Better known as ‘Olympian.’ One of the best damn pilots you’ll ever see. We both shared the honor of first in the class at Top Gun in 2015.” Nat then introduced all the guys and their callsigns, Y/n shaking each of their hands—Bob still appeared starstruck when they let go of his hand.

“Olympian, huh?” Hangman chuckled at the name, “That’s quite the callsign. What are you Greek? Or obsessed with mythology?” Rooster glared at the man, but also looked curious for the reason behind the Y/n’s callsign. Even their name sounded familiar. They had yet to see the tattoo on Y/n’s bicep, which now had the names Beijing XXIX, London XXX and Rio XXXI in tiny cursive below the rings.

Before Nat or Y/n could fire back at Jake, Bob dropped his cup of peanut shells. Everyone looked at him like, ‘what the hell, man?’ But Y/n started to smile, recognizing the shock in his face as though he had been right about something.

“S-sorry. Oh my God,” he stuttered with red cheeks, “You’re Y/n L/n. L-like THE Olympic gold medalist Y/n L/n. Oh my God I’ve watched you since 2008–since Beijing!” The revelation had shocked looks from everyone now besides Nat of course.

Payback suddenly jumped from his seat, “holy shit! I knew I recognized you from somewhere but couldn’t exactly figure it out for the life of me.” The man was stationed in London at the time of the Olympic Games and attended the night the US won gold in the relays. Now here is a member that he cheered on from the stands in front of him. “Wow, I was in London seven years ago—I-I saw you compete. This is fucking unreal.” Y/n laughed, shaking Payback’s hand. He was still coming down from the shock, having just crossed his mind that all over ESPN and Sportscenter the past month sportscasters were talking about Y/n’s comeback.

“Wait a minute,” Rooster pitched in, the memory of being in a bar the summer of 2016 played in his mind. In the same memory he remembered watching the 400m semifinals on the tv scream and gasping with everyone else when the American contender for the gold had tripped over their competitor and was out the remainder of the games. Coming closer to the scene in front of him, Rooster’s eyes caught the black ink on Y/n’s bicep. “Well I’ll be damned. You’re a pilot, a naval pilot like us? And you’re a fucking olympian?”

“Three-time to be exact, but who’s counting?” Y/n teased, causing Phoenix to chuckle and hand them a beer. All the men minus Payback and Bob, who had slight knowledge of Y/n’s career, practically had their eyes bulging. Rooster honestly thought they had just been in London and Rio. “It’s nice to meet you all. And to answer your question…Bradley, right?”

“Yeah, but please call me Rooster.” Y/n tried not to giggle at the callsign.

“Rooster, but yes I am a pilot, as our lovely Phoenix has pointed out I graduated Top Gun with her three years ago.”

“Weren’t you just in Qatar two weeks ago?” Payback asked when he remembered the World Championships in Athletics had just taken place. All over sportscenter they were talking about the comeback of the decade. “I swear I just watched you on my tv the other day during replays of the world championships.”

Y/n sipped their beer before replying with a nod, “Yeah I was. I probably wouldn’t be here if the timing wasn’t perfect.”

“That’s crazy,” Fanboy commented, still in disbelief he was speaking to an actual Olympic athlete. After hearing the stories from his fellow athletes— and doing a quick google search when no one was looking—Mickey was internally fanboying like his callsign namesake. “How have you managed to do both?”

“Lot’s of sleepless nights, determination, desire to win, and tequila on the weekends.” There were laughs at that. For the rest of the night Y/n fell into conversation with everyone. A few asked for a picture, which they were happy to do, and even signed some autographs for Bob and Fanboy. They caught up with Nat, relieved London memories with Payback and went into detail about their injuries when Rooster brought it up.

“I was at the bar with some buddies and saw that happen live. Everyone couldn’t believe it and I remember seeing you limp across the finish line with the, I think it was the Polish athlete? That’s amazing you even managed to get up after a crash like that.” Y/n was on their second beer, sitting between Bob and Coyote and across from Rooster while the others listened from the sides as they continued the game of pool.

“What were you thinking at that moment?” Javy asked with curiosity. “Did you like automatically know it was over for you?”

Y/n thought for a bit before replying, “the second I hit the track I knew my chances for the 400m were done—it was the semifinals after all. When I first felt the pain I thought it was the typical instant pain that would go away after a bit. Then when I started to move it got worse and as soon as I got up I thought, ‘yeah there’s no way I’m gonna be able to do the finals or relays.’ My chest was on fire from the bruised rib and then I could barely feel my knee once the adrenaline wore off. I probably would’ve collapsed after the finish line if they weren’t holding me up.”

‘Damns’ and ‘wows,’ rang out before Bob politely asked, “Are you going to try for the Tokyo team?”

“Yup,” they exhaled with a nervous chuckle at the end. “It’s gonna be tough I feel with how these past couple seasons have been, but I’m hoping for one final Olympics. It will be my last chance at gold—Individual gold,” they corrected before anyone could comment.

“You’re gonna retire?” Fanboy tilted his head, a little saddened at the thought. Throughout the night he had been on his phone watching replays of Y/n’s meets including their Olympic and World Championship runs. He tried not to react when he watched the 2016 400m semifinals. Now the thought of them retiring felt like a loss to the sport. It was like how he felt when Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt retired.

“Maybe not fully,” Y/n gave a small smile. “I might do one last season and a Worlds, but I don’t think I’m gonna go for the Paris Games.”

Payback came over and clapped them on the back, “Well I don’t know about these clowns but you can count on me to cheer you on next year. Hell I might even come to the trials.”

“That’s what I did in ‘16,” Phoenix cut in with a smile. “It was amazing and I’ll be in the stands again. Already planning to take time off to be there.” Y/n felt the warmth and gratitude swarm in them, “Thanks, Phee.”

What should have been three weeks of special combat training turned out to be two. The pressure was on with Y/n pushing their limit harder than ever—even exceeded that of their comeback. Never had the F-18 they’d become accustomed to flying feel like a stranger. Maverick was like their coach and Y/n made it their own personal goal to prove to him they had what it took to fly the mission.

At one point Y/n nearly pulled out as a candidate. When the details of the assignment were brought into light Y/n had to think hard about what they were doing. It was not going to be an easy mission. Not by a long shot. Ending badly was a great possibility compared to actually pulling it off. Their life was on the line.

What if they died? What if they got injured to the point they would have to medically retire? Decades of training for the Olympics would end if something horrible happened. Y/n had three to their name, an honor not everyone gets to have, but there was their chance at redemption after 2016 was now on the line.

In the end 6 of the 13 candidates were chosen and although Y/n felt a little saddened they were not chosen, there was a sense of relief. They were put on reserves and boarded the carrier for a long week ahead of them. When it was time to send off their teammates, Y/n pulled them each into a hug, letting it linger on Nat and making her promise to come back. “If worse comes to worse, L/n,” Payback said, “You better win the gold in our honor.” There were mutters of agreement from the others.

“How about you focus on coming back so you can watch me win it in your honor.”

They fulfilled the promise, because now here they were in The Hard Deck about to watch Y/n attempt to keep their side of the bargain. It was 5:15 am on Friday August 6th, 2021. The second to last day of the Games of the XXXII Olympiad held in Tokyo, Japan. And it was the finals of the 400m sprint.

Just a couple months ago in June several members of the squad including Phoenix, Payback, Rooster, Hangman, & Bob met up in Eugene, Oregon to attend the trials for the U.S Olympic Track & Field Team. Following covid precautions they wore their masks and stayed together in their own little group literally competing themselves on who could cheer the loudest. It was a bittersweet moment watching their friend and former teammate secure their place in their fourth and final Olympics. Hangman and Phoenix nearly shed a tear, the former consumed with emotion as they looked on proud at their partner waving to the crowd. Their romance was a surprise, but after the two met to catch up in March of 2020, they ended up having to go thorough lockdown together.

And well…..forced proximity can do wonders when you’re attracted to someone.

Jake wished he could be in Tokyo with Y/n, but even though it had been over a year since the virus broke out and sanctions were being uplifted there were still regulations set in stone for the Olympics. The entire event was postponed a whole year, but was still referred to as the 2020 Olympics despite being 2021. Only the athletes and coaches, which were limited to only one, were allowed to travel. Leading up to the Games, Penny had issued a vaccination verification and made the mask policy optional for those who had been fully vaccinated. She even went as far as making a limit for attendees during the week of the track and field events and had people reserve a spot in advance. She even set up screens outside for people to keep space in the building.

It was still a pretty full house and it was buzzing with excitement as it had been the whole week. Many were regulars who came every night to watch the heats, semifinals, and finals of many events but mostly people were there to watch their very own Top Gun alumni Y/n L/n. Even their parents were there—flying to San Diego to be a part of the watch party. They were already filled with nerves, Y/n’s mother was very upset she couldn’t be there in Tokyo with her child. If they won the gold it would be a bittersweet moment since her parents wouldn’t be there to celebrate in person until they returned home.

It was already a successful Games for the Olympian. The week before Y/n won the bronze in the 100m dash and 4x400 mixed relay and reclaimed the silver in the 200m. The place erupted in cheers each time with the dagger squad being the loudest. It would increase whenever the camera panned to Y/n, who was in obvious joy at racking more medals to their Olympic collection.

But now the pressure was on with one final individual event.

The 400m sprint.

Their signature event with two medals and several titles to their name.

One final shot at gold.

There would still be the relays, in which the final for the 4x100m would take place an hour after the 400m final and then the 4x400m the following night, but Y/n becoming an Olympic champion for an individual event would happen in less than fifteen minutes. The program flipped between other events while in prep for the race, often showing Y/n in the tunnel as they awaited the announcement of the finalists.

At around 5:20 all eyes were glued to the screen with someone yelling, “Turn it up!’ when the sportscasters appeared to be talking about Y/n. The pilots all had the same expression, wincing when they replayed the footage of the 2016 semifinals.

“I think we can all agree we are looking forward to this race, right Steph?”

“That’s right, John. You know, all eyes have been on Y/n L/n these Games. They have already had a great run with three medals, two bronze and a silver with three more events to go. They have quite the Olympic career since their debut in 2008 at the age of eighteen. They came up forth in the 200m in Beijing and walked away with the bronze medal in the 400m,” below the commentator was Y/n’s Olympic statistics. “Then they had a spectacular run in London where we saw them on the podium in each of their events. Silver medals in the sprints and It was their start off the blocks in the 4x100m relay that I believe is what secured the Americans the gold.”

“I agree, Steph. I can still recall that race and the emotions I felt. L/n had an amazing post-Olympic run after London—totally dominating the 2013 & 2014 seasons. Let’s not forget they were one of the top athletes in the NCAA’s during their time at Vanderbilt. I definitely believe it would have continued into 2015 if they hadn’t pulled out, but they still were the leading contender for the Rio Games. It was the height of the career I feel.” The screen was now split to showcase footage of Y/n’s 2013 & 2014 Worlds. Then it showed the heats and semifinals of Rio.

“Totally, John, they dominated the trials that year. They very well could have left Rio with more medals—quite possibly a gold in 400m which is their signature event. Everytime I rewatch the semifinals I almost have to look away at the final turn.”

“I know, it was an unfortunate incident that ended Y/n’s Olympics before they could really start. We almost didn’t know if we would even see them here in Tokyo, but after a spectacular comeback at the 2019 World Championships in Qatar, I had very high hopes we would get to this moment.”

“Me too, John, the pressure is on for the 31-year-old, let’s see if they can deliver,” the commentator turns to look at the camera with Y/n’s picture beside her, “Well it’s almost time for the 400m and it looks they are about to announce the finalists so we are going to have our crew in the stadium takeover our coverage. We will see you back here in the studio after the race and be sure to stick around because the night won’t be over for the four-time Olympian. Y/n is set to be one the four of today’s 4x100m relay final and tomorrow’s 4x400m relay.”

The screen switched to reveal the stadium, specifically the entrance tunnel where a projection would show the name and nation of the finalists. Y/n had taken the top spot in their heat and the semifinal so they would get the fourth lane on the track.

“Here we go!” Someone in the Hard Deck clapped, causing a few more people to follow. The cheers heightened when the American flag appeared above the name Y/n L/n.

First the announcement was in Japanese, then the English translator spoke through the stadium “In Lane Four, representing the United States of America, Y/n L/n!” With a shy smile, Y/n appeared from the side and walked until they were directly beneath their name. Then they turned to the camera and gave a wave followed by blowing a kiss to the screen and lastly throwing a peace sign. It must have been a little awkward without a packed stadium like the previous Games. Only a small section was filled with locals and the coaches of the athletes.

“That’s my best friend!” Nat yelled over the cheers. Several others followed the pilot, “Let’s go, Y/n!” “Bring it home!” “One last time, baby, let’s go!”

The remaining finalists were announced and took their place behind the starting blocks. When the camera panned to Y/n, their eyes were closed in a silent prayer.

“Take your mark.”

Their eyes snapped open with a shaky breath, feet carrying them to the starting blocks. Y/n did a ritual stretch down, tapping the tops of their toes with their hands before bending down to place their feet in the right position. Glancing up to the sky, Y/n said in their head, “please, give me this one moment.” Tucking their chin into their chest, Y/n waiting with anticipation like everyone else in the world watching.

It was like time slowed. “Set.” Their knees lifted off the track.

*Pop* the sound of the gun and Y/n catapulted off the blocks. Their eyes never faltered as they ahead at the track and let their legs do the work. In their peripheral they saw their opponents, the space between them slowly decreasing by the second as they pulled into the final stretch. Coming around the corner there was no one in Y/n’s sight. The finish line drew closer. Y/n didn’t know if they were in the lead by a long shot or if it was only a nanosecond.

Their heart pounded in their chest, sweat dripping from their forehead. Heaved breaths left their mouth and Y/n could feel her bad knee start to burn. But they pushed and they pushed.

All Y/n knew as they crossed the finish line was the world record flashed and their eyes snapped to the board which resulted in them screaming. As the announcer yelled through the coms, “WORLD RECORD!!” Y/n fell to their knees in tears.

#1 Y/N L/N—USA 47.50 (WR, OR)

Below their name were spots 2-8. And not only did Y/n just take the gold in their last individual event, but they also broke the World and Olympic records. Records that had been set for decades.

When Y/n finally lifted their head they were met with beaming faces of their competitors. They all congratulated the athlete, some hugging and patting their back. The world record sign was still flashing and Y/n felt another wave of emotion. This time they ran to their coach, aware the cameraman was keeping up with them to get a close look for the viewers at home.

Y/n could only imagine what it was like in Fightertown.

The second the athletes were lining up, Coyote yelled, “Everybody shut up!!” Silence filled the building, everyone’s focus on their respected screen. “Set.” *Pop* The racers were off and the commentators were already speaking frantically. “Great start off the blocks for L/n, coming around on the first turn neck and neck with the athlete from the Bahamas. Jamaica and Great Britain are not too far as they take on the long stretch of the track.”

“Go! Go!” People started to scream. Bob was biting his nails, Rooster was gripping his beer bottle. Hangman and Coyote were already off of their seats, “C’mon, Y/n! You got this!” It got louder as they approached the final turn.

“L/n is starting to pull a lead as they come up the turn, but the Bahamas are right there—this was the moment L/n’s Olympic dreams were shattered in Rio—O-oh! L/n has overtaken the Bahamas—they’ve got a huge gap as they pull into the final stretch! Oh my God we could be witnessing history—L/n is .10ths of a second ahead of the World Record and increasing their lead ahead of the others by an outstanding margin!”

“Let’s go!!!” The commentators' words were barely there as it competed with the uproar of spectators in the Hard Deck. Everyone was pretty much out of their seats and jumping as they watched Y/n’s lead increase with each step to the finish line. “You’re almost there!! Go! Go! Go!”

Then it exploded.

“THEY’VE DONE IT! Y/N L/n has won the gold for America!! They smashed the Olympic record and set the World record for the 400m dash by .10 of a second at these Olympic Games in Tokyo!”

“OH MY GOD!!!” Phoenix and several others screamed. She and Halo embraced in a hug with Nat covering her mouth to hold back her emotion when the screen showed Y/n screaming out to the sky before falling to their knees. The guys were all jumping around, Rooster and Payback embraced in a side hug, pulling Jake who was pretty much in tears as he watched the display of his partner.

“After heartbreak four years ago in Rio that put them out of a chance for the gold, Y/n L/n has come out on top in Tokyo. They can finally add Olympic Champion to their name as well as Olympic and World record holder of the 400m dash. In what could be the last time we see Y/n L/n in an Olympic Games, they have achieved what they set out to do since their debut in Beijing 13 years ago. What a stunning finish to a beautiful Olympic career in the sport of track and field.”

Y/n’s parents were clenched in each other’s arms, eyes rimmed as their own tears poured. They were filled with so much happiness for their child and wished nothing more to be in the crowd and share this moment with them. At the bar top Warlock, Hondo, and Maverick were high-fiving while Cyclone clapped along with a smile. Penny rang the bell simply to join the cheers.

It was truly spectacular to witness. The slow motion replay was on the screen followed by the Y/n’s reaction when they looked up to find their name on the board. The cheers kept going and only started to quiet down when TV showed the athlete in their post race interview. “Y/n, what a night here tonight. Congratulations are in store, you have not only taken an individual gold but also the World record—and the Olympic record! It’s your fourth medal in these Games, the first gold—how are you feeling right now after this victory?”

Everyone hushed to listen, but were grinning wide and some were wiping away tears. Y/n’s face was flushed, still coming off of the high of what had just happened. “O-oh I can’t even put it into words how I’m feeling right now,” there was a slight sniff, Y/n using their finger to wipe their face but was careful not to let the material of the American flag draped around their shoulders touch their skin.

“This is a dream come true. It has been a long journey to get here and I-I am so honored to have been a part of this team for as long as I have. You know after the 100 & 200 I didn’t want to have my hopes too high because as you can see anything can happen in these Games,” Y/n chuckled, eyes glossy, “I think I may have actually blacked out on the last stretch. I just kept my focus on the finish line and was just as amazed to see I had broken the records.”

The title card on the screen now showed: Y/n L/n, Gold Medalist, 400m (WR, OR: 47.50).

“Your friends and family have all gathered in San Diego—they’re watching right now and we actually got footage of their reaction to your win tonight. We’d love to show you if you like.”

“Oh God please,” Y/n was already giggling. The assistant brought over an ipad with a video and pressed play. On the tv screens the image split to show the video beside Y/n’s face to capture their own reaction. They saw the daggers squad in front of the bar while their superiors including Maverick were seated at the bar top. They were all surrounded by servicemen and women as well as civilians. Y/n teared up when they spotted their parents near Jake. By the end of it Y/n was basically crying while laughing. “Oh my God, that is amazing. I wish they could’ve been in the stands. I know my parents are probably thinking how the one time they can’t see me compete in person is when I win.”

The reporter laughed along with them. “I know I gotta let you go cause you’re set to race the relay in less than an hour and the podium ceremony is about to start, but before you go I just want to ask if this is the last time we’ll see you after these Games conclude Sunday night.”

Y/n softly smiled to the reporter, bottom lip slightly trembling, “uhh, you know I wasn’t completely sure. Since Rio I’ve had some troubles with my knee after the torn ACL—I almost wasn’t sure about these Games until 2018. I’ve been talking to Allison Felix these past couple days, since this is gonna be her last Games. Her and I have been part of Team USA for 13 years now and she’s become not only a mentor but a friend to me and i’m going to miss seeing her at competitions. I know I plan to do the 2022 season—especially the Worlds. Paris is only three-years away,” they shrugged, like they were considering it, “I’ll be thirty-four when it comes around so it’s really gonna come down to how I’m feeling after 2022.”

“Well I hope to see you again in Paris, but if not then it was truly a pleasure watching you these years. You’ve been an inspiration to many watching back home in the States. Congratulations again on this win and we can’t wait to see you bring it in the relays. Good luck again tonight.”

“Thank you so so much. I appreciate it and much love to everyone back home—thank you for all the support, especially my mom and dad, my coach, and my friends in Fightertown who I know are probably losing their minds. I love you all and I couldn't have got this gold without each and every one of you. Thank you,” Y/n shakes their hand and blows a kiss to the camera before following the volunteer to locker rooms to change for the podium ceremony.

Just like in London, Y/n was nearly a mess on the podium when the gold medal was presented to them. Per covid regulations, the athlete had to place it around their own neck instead of how it was at previous games with someone else doing the honor. Still, it held everything to Y/n.

They were an Olympic champion.

Tears streaked their face when the national anthem played and when it concluded Y/n kissed the medal and waved to the crowd of spectators that included the media and athletes from other countries. The rest of Team USA’s track athletes were there too, cheering the loudest as some of them have been Y/n’s teammates for over a decade. After pictures with the other medalists Y/n was rushed to get ready for the relay that was to start in 20 minutes. At the Hard Deck it was an emotional scene watching the podium ceremony. Jake and Nat were embraced, looking on with glossy eyes while everyone beamed at the screen. Y/n’s parents were with them too. It was bittersweet.

20 minutes later they were in cheers once again when Team USA took the silver in the 4x100m relay. Y/n kick started it off like they did in London, but this time fell short to second place by a smudge. It still was a celebration with Y/n adding another silver medal to their personal Tokyo medal count. It was passed one in the morning in Tokyo when Y/n FaceTimed Jake after the podium ceremony. They were met with shouts of joy from everyone in proximity that it was hard to even make out the individual voices.

“You fucking did it!!”

“Congratulations, Lightning McQueen, you were amazing!”

“Holy shit, Olympic gold!”

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Y/n. I wish I could hug you right now.”

The call was brief but wholesome with Y/n thanking the entire squad for their support and they loved watching their reaction to the race. Jake spoke on behalf of the others with the promise to celebrate the second Y/n returned to San Diego in three days. After goodbyes and a quick chat with their parents, Y/n ended the call to get much needed sleep for their final race the next day. The Hard Deck cleared out soon after with many calling it a day.

It was the same scene the next morning at 5:30 am to watch the final of the 4x400m relay. “It is the final day in these Olympic Games after a spectacular two weeks in Tokyo. Many firsts have been made. There are just a few events to get through tonight before closing ceremonies tomorrow evening. All eyes are now on the finals of the 4x400m relay. And boy is there a lineup tonight with the Americans looking to defend with a seventh-straight title.”

“It’s going to be an interesting finals tonight, Mark. Like you mentioned, the US have retained the title of Olympic champions in this event since the 1996 Games in Atlanta. They are unstoppable and this is the first time Y/n L/n is part of the group. They won the gold in London for the 4x100 and just last night took silver in the event. Four years ago in Rio they were set to be on both the 4x100 and 4x400, but after a tragic semi finals that ended with a torn ACL, L/n had to pull out of Games.”

On the screen the team was announced with all four athletes appearing from the side. Together they did a little dance for the cameras before going to the track. “I’m interested to see how L/n does tonight and if they can pull through. This event is truly a team effort and unlike last night, L/n is set to anchor the Americans in the final pass rather than starting. They just won the gold in the 400m last night in a stunning record breaking finish—I’m still in disbelief.”

The Hard Deck painted a familiar picture as the previous morning. The Daggers were on the edge of their seats when the race started and Penny stopped taking orders when the third pass began. The camera was split to show Y/n taking their spot on the track to await the baton. Then the screen went back to one when the American came up on the last turn. “Here comes the final pass of the bottom in the final leg of this 4x400 relay. Poland and Jamaica are not far behind, but the Americans have given Y/n L/n a lead—and there they go! Beautiful pass from teammate to teammate and Y/n L/n is off to hopefully bring the US their seventh consecutive gold.”

“C’mon, baby, let’s go!!” Jake yelled, the others echoing his cheers. At the bar patrons were clapping the surface.

“They’re gonna get it—look at the lead!”

“It’s not over yet.”

“Let’s go, Y/n, you’re almost there!” The athlete increased the distance between them and the polish on the stretch coming into the final turn. The cheers got louder and louder with many already celebrating when it was obvious the Polish were not gonna catch up. The announcers knew it too.

“Poland has overtaken Jamaica but it will not be enough for Olympic glory—Y/n L/n has increased the margin their teammates had given them and has no doubt secured them the gold! All there is left to do is cross the finish line and the Americans have done it again! L/n has finished the job and given Team USA their seventh straight gold medal in the 4x400m relay!!” The last line was in tune with Y/n crossing the finish line. A large smile plastered on their face as a cry of joy left them that the camera managed to capture. Their teammates met them in the middle with the four embracing in cheers.

The Hard Deck exploded again when Y/n crossed the finish line, matching their reaction as though they were the ones who just won the gold for their country. They couldn’t wait for Tuesday when Y/n came home and they could celebrate the big wins together. Jake was really excited especially after having a heart-to-heart with Y/n’s father. The ring was safely tucked away in his suitcase as a reminder of what he had planned for his Olympian.

The rest of the daggers, including Mav and Hondo ended up staying an extra hour after the podium ceremony to celebrate their friend. Many were still in disbelief, but filled with absolute joy. Who wouldn’t really? They had just witnessed their friend win their sixth medal in a single Olympics. Something uncommon for even athletes who qualify for multiple events.

But Y/n did it.

They left Tokyo with two bronze, two silver, and two gold. In four Olympics Y/n started from a single bronze in their debut to their first team gold in London, leaving with nothing in Rio to finally medaling in every event they raced in Tokyo. Their first individual gold after thirteen years of hard work and dedication to rise to the top since they sat in the stands of the Centennial Olympic Stadium.

It was a golden end to an Olympic dream 25 years in the making.

Or so they thought…..

When the stars painted Paris on the night of August 11th, 2024, the final night of the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, Y/n L/n waved to the crowd in a bittersweet goodbye as they wore the Stars and Stripes one final time. It was hard to hear over the roar of spectators from all over the world. Not a single seat had been empty for the final race of Y/n L/n’s career. Athletes from other disciplines attended, some in tears by the overwhelming emotion of the moment.

“It is an emotional scene here tonight in the Stade de France as we say goodbye to Y/n L/n of the United States. There isn’t a dry eye in sight as spectators and athletes from around the globe watch the five-time Olympian take their final bow after winning the gold with the Americans in the 4x400m relay in their eighth consecutive title. In what could be described as the greatest Olympic run a track athlete has ever done, Y/n L/n has achieved the impossible in Paris with six gold medals in six events. Never has an Olympian taken the gold in the 100, 200, 400m, and all three team relays in a single Olympics, but Y/n L/n has made history. They are also the second Olympian and only American to win gold in the 100, 200, and 400m in a single Olympic Games.”

Y/n walked the track with a cameraman following them, hand that was not waving patting their chest where their heart laid. The hand now had a gold wedding band and Tokyo XXXII and Paris XXXIII added to the bicep tattoo. Y/n’s teammates that they just won the gold with had stood to the side, clapping with the crowd with American flags draped around their shoulder and tears cascading their cheeks.

Y/n finally made it to the section where the majority of Americans who had traveled from the States were seated in a sea of red, white, and blue. Y/e/c went straight to the front few rows and were immediately met with the sight of not only their parents beaming faces, but the ones of their closest friends. None of them were hiding their emotion. Phoenix was embraced by Rooster, the two wiping away at their faces as was Bob. Fanboy and Coyote were teary eyed while Payback just nodded with a bright grin, bringing his fingers up to whistle. Even Maverick, who was now retired from the Navy, was in attendance looking like a proud father.

And Jake? Jake was a mess.

His green eyes were pretty much bloodshot but there was love and admiration in his gaze. His own wedding band reflected under the stadium lights and he made the motion of catching the kiss Y/n blew to him before placing it on his heart. All he wanted to do was jump over the railing and hug his spouse, but unfortunately that would have to wait until after the podium ceremony.

The extinguishing of the Olympic torch at the closing ceremonies would signal the start of Y/n’s retirement from the world of athletics. It would close one chapter, but the other was still in progress. There was still time for them to be the best of the best in terms of naval aviators. They were not even halfway into their Naval career.

And they were totally up for the challenge, because nothing is impossible when going for the gold.

[shattersstar]

Bestie it is me, the anon from a couple of days ago, many mutual kisses for my favorite tumblr writer!!! I am a teensy weensy (read: very much) cross faded and was wondering if you would be willing to write just a little thing with the “desperate kiss in the rain” prompt from the list featuring Jason Todd or Adrian Tepes? I feel the need to be In My Feelings about fictional romance lmao

ghost of love

pairing: jason todd x reader

prompt: a desperate kiss in the rain

a/n: wrote this stoned lmaoo so twins <3 and thank u for the request ur so kinddd im actually p happy with this so here goes my first fic of 2023 besties. feedback is always appreciated!!!

—

Ghost of love bound unto your name

So it be running through my veins

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

Guess I wanted too much

—

Spring had made its way to Gotham, snow melting into slush and flooding the streets as the days grew longer and the winter chill started to recede. It crept into the past as singing birds and allergies were to come. It was supposed to be a time of happiness, of excitement for warmth before the general population complained about the heat plaguing the city in a few months time. But Jason watched the rain that had cleansed the city for a week already with certain disdain.

His apartment was silent save the rain’s ambiance—it hadn’t been this quiet in ages. Hadn’t been so hollow and empty since you came into his life. A presence to warm the space even when you sat in silence scrolling through your phone. Or when you cooked and hummed to yourself or when you took phone calls in his bedroom and didn’t think he could hear you sing his praises. It should’ve made his heart swell, flattered by your adoration of him, and yet it made Jason anxious. Nausea flowering in his throat at the sounds of your lies on his behalf, covering up the life he lead all while admitting how deeply you felt for him. He had heard that phone call so many times, a quick tangent usually, but it stuck with him nonetheless.

It was those moments—sweet and tender—he turned into something dark, twisted. The way you unabashedly reached for his hand at the grocery store, or called his name in a room full of people felt…wrong. You weren’t supposed to be like this with him, no one was. Jason didn’t deserve such kind words and outward gestures of love, and you didn’t deserve to be trapped with him. Stuck in something that could never really be anything. You were too good for Gotham and for him. He had always known it, tried to ignore it and just dwell in the bliss that came from being with you, but his guilt was stronger. More consuming than the feelings he had for you. It made breaking your heart painful, but a necessity.

He wasn’t yours to love, to have. He had said those words to you, “I’m not for you to love, or to be with. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep playing house anymore. This isn’t my life. You aren’t.”

His voice was cold, empty as he spoke. You couldn’t hide the hurt in your eyes, tears threatening to spill. “Then go.” It was all you were able to muster, standing in your apartment as he let himself out without another word.

He wanted to add it was because he loved you, but it felt cruel. He had to remind himself he wasn’t yours to love. Jason wasn’t for anyone.

And he believed his words, for weeks on end he told himself over and over again that he made the right decision. Threw himself into work and tried to burn you from his memory with violence and power. Jason ignored what headlines you might see—what you might think of him. He had never let himself care before, you told him what he did with that life was not for you to be apart of if he choose to keep you separate. You said it casually, with a shrug like Jason was supposed to know. Know that respect and privacy he could never ask from someone was being offered freely.

Jason supposed you’d keep your word, keep your distance from the bloody and chaotic side of his life despite him leaving you. You were good like that, honest and uncompromising when you needed to be. It made him smile despite the torrential downpour, knowing there was something good still in Gotham. Something—someone worth fighting for.

Yet, as something akin to peace washed over Jason, fate played its hand and it sent him reeling. A notification lit up his phone sitting on the kitchen table. It drew his attention away from the window he had been staring out of for a while, compelling him across the room and to read the two words that broke his heart.

I’m moving. A message you sent a minute ago, two words hanging in the ether that left Jason short of breath. He had already lost you, but this was like sand slipping through his fingers all while a tsunami rushed the shore. It made his stomach knot and guilt trickled into his chest like a steady stream. You couldn’t leave the city you had made a life in because of him. Because of the pain he caused you—no that grief, that guilt, would swallow him whole. Devour him till he was nothing, but bone to burn to ash one day.

Jason was out of his apartment in record time, not dawned in his suit, but enough tactical wear to hop across rainy rooftops safely. He ignored the chill of the rain that drenched him in mere minutes, he slicked his wet hair back and regretted his leather jacket as he landed an apartment over from yours. He huffed out a few breaths, calves flexing and whining from the amount of work he just put them through to get here. Jason steadied his breathing as best he could, grappling over the alleyway and to his surprise, landing right behind you. You were next to a small pigeon coop someone kept on the roof, the stretching piece of plywood was a makeshift roof you just fit under. You had a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the bottom corner wet with rain water likely from the puddles on the roof.

He let out a sigh that caught your attention. You glanced over your shoulder before your face fell. Your phone was still in your hands and Jason wondered if you texted him because you were up here. Staring out into the city and thinking of him as he was you. “You’re moving.” He found himself saying, more accusatory than he intended, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when desperation wafted off of him in waves.

“Yeah, I just…can’t with this city anymore.” You turned fully, you had never looked so small before. So withered and tired. You look like you had been crying recently and Jason’s resolved weakened. He assured himself that cutting you out of his life was right, to save you pain in the long run, but the pain you wore so clearly now was a gut punch. It was wrenching and Jason didn’t know what to say to fix anything.

“When?” He asked instead.

“Not sure, Im gonna stay with a friend in another city for a bit before I figure everything out. Think I have someone to take over my lease so…” The idea of someone else living here made his head spin. This space was an extension of you—he could see your interest in what you hung up on your walls, your love in the plants littered around the space, your happiness in the smell of food mixing with the candles you burned and even your old grumpy cat belonged to this space as much as you did. It was one of the only places in Gotham Jason could…breathe. Think or not think and he was losing that and you—

“No.” He gritted through his teeth.

“No?” That wasn’t meant for your ears, he was trying to silence his own thoughts. He cursed to himself and turned away from you, rain soaking his face as his only then remembered it was pouring. “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent you that text…I think I knew you’d show up here—I’m sorr—“

“No.” This time it was for you, even if he still refused to face you, let you see the regret plain on his face. “I don’t want you to leave Gotham like this…not because of me.”

“I know, and I wish I could stay, but Jay its too hard. Being here and trying to move on is killing me.” You were calm, calmer than he anticipated. He wanted anger, he wanted you to throw his words in your face, scold him for showing up when he was the one that forced you away. And yet, you tried to apologize and were being honest with him.

“I wouldn’t ask you to stay, but I’m sorry for how I ended things. You don’t—didn’t—deserve any of this.” Jason was never one to admit his wrongs, but this was the end of something that meant everything to him once. He couldn’t let you go with resentment between you two. You let a beat of silence pass, eyes fallen to the ground between your bodies as you processed his words. Your brows pulled together and you took a step closer to him. You weren’t out in the rain yet, but stood close enough to the edge to make sure your words hit him clearly.

“What did you mean by that? Didn’t deserve…what? What we had before? Didn’t deserve a good relationship? Didn’t deserve to be happy? I know I don’t deserve how you’ve treated me since, like I never existed, but what didn’t I deserve before? You?” Your tone was jaded, it wasn’t angry, but hurt. It made the knot in his stomach twist, his heart wrenching at the thought of you undeserving of good things. It was all you deserved, it was all he wanted for you.

Jason whipped around as he spoke, breathless before the words even left his mouth, “You didn’t deserve to be in a barely real relationship. I can’t be the person you deserve to be with, I can’t offer that much of myself to you.”

Another beat, you hovered by the edge of the makeshift roof, before letting you blanket slip off your shoulders behind you. You stepped into the rain and took him in properly, soaked from head to toe, but Jason was still bathed beautifully in the moon and streetlights that barely touched buildings this high.

“I knew all of that, I knew it wouldn’t always be normal, but I accepted it Jay. I chose to look past the parts of your life you didn’t want to share, because I didn’t care. I still don’t. What we had was a real relationship Jason, to me at least, and I didn’t even think anything was wrong when you broke up with me. I thought it was actually great, for what we were working with.” You laughed at the end, watery, but your voice stayed strong. You meant what you said, Jason blindsided you more when he left you than with his Red Hood confession. His admittance to the double life he lead was a blow, but one you could digest. Jason leaving you? It was a grenade set off from within your ribcage that left no survivors. It was pain beyond grappling with the violence that surrounded the man you loved.

“But that isn’t fair to you. I can’t give you everything, but I know I’ll take everything you can give. You get half a person and—“

“I make that choice, not you. I’ll take half a person if its you. I’ve always known I’ll love you more, be able to give you more because I’m sharing you with a city hellbent on destroying itself. When you’re the only person I want to share anything with, of course you can have it all.” He was silent, staring into the dark skies and wondering what he did to deserve you. Had he suffered enough that it was finally time to enjoy the peace?

You put your hand on his arm, urging him to look. He let his eyes meet yours reluctantly as you sniffled. “I don’t need what you think is real Jason. I just need you.” Your voice was a soft plea, fingers tightening around his leather jacket. He stared down at you, so much ache in his chest for ever thinking life made more sense without you there. He wanted to apologize, again and again until his voice went hoarse. He wanted to fall into your arms and sleep for days after weeks of restless nights. He wanted to cook your favourite meals you always said never tasted as good when you did it. He wanted to forgive and be forgiven for all the hurt swirling between the two of you.

But all he could manage was a plea of his own, almost drowned out by the spring rain that washed away the cold weeks you both spent unbearably lonely, “Don’t leave Gotham.”

You nodded, “Don’t give me a reason too.”

The knot churning inside his stomach disappeared with your soft words, making him breathe out a laugh. It was surprised, relieved and everything you needed to hear. A smile broke over your face and the tears brimming in your eyes finally spilled over as you closed the distance between you two. Your hands rested on the lapels of his jacket. He let his cradle your jaw as the rain engulfed you both, foreheads pressing together as the moment overtook you two. It felt like a dream, like everything Jason wanted was suddenly in the palm of his hands and he couldn’t believe it. Believe he had let you go and somehow managed to get you back. He couldn’t decide what you deserved, but god he’d try be the person you needed him to be.

He wanted to say that, promise you he’ll try, but words failed him at times like this. Jason was all need, desperate for you to understand how much he loved you. All he could do was act, fingers tightening and tilting your head up before his mouth crashed into yours. It was hungry and pleading, begging and convincing you to stay with him forever. To know his love forever. You kissed him back with as much urgency as you could muster, just as desperate for his touch as he was yours. It was deprave how you both nearly crumbled when his teeth tasted your bottom lip. You hands had slid under his jacket, pulling you flush against him as your fingers fisted the dry fabric against his spine. He shuddered into you, pulling away with a heaving chest. You rested your chin on his sternum, blinking up at him with happy tears still overflowing. He brought this thumbs to the corners of your eyes, brushing them away before kissing you again.

His lips met yours slower this time, mending the harshness from his last kiss. It was just as needy, lips finding the corners of your mouth, cheeks and jaw before he found his way back to your mouth. Jason’s tongue swiped over your lips, one of his hands moved to cradle the curve of your skull, letting your head fall back as he left open mouthed kissed against yours. Your tongue slid over his and you wished you were in bed. Sat comfortably atop him and making out on some boring Tuesday afternoon. It was always those moments, those days when everyone else was consumed with jobs and school and life, where you and Jason flourished.

Or embracing on a rooftop, in the pouring rain, during the dead of night, while everyone slept.

It was moments where you fell into the corners of life, missed by the bustle of the city and enraptured by each other. It was all you ever needed from Jason, and he was ready to give.

—

Gonna stay humbled to this rock

Silently when I know that I belong

Tell me stay on the right track

You know I got faith and beliefs

In my life and just

I guess I wanted that much

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

Ghost of Love - Marie Fisker

[wri0thesley]

hi, nat! truly sorry if this is a bit much but i guess i need to vent this out somewhere and you're one of my fave creators here so, i hope you can bear with me on this.

i really never cared that much for notes, so long as i put out my works here, i'm good, always thankful and happy nonetheless whenever someone interacts with it. nowadays, it's really getting to me, like what am i missing? i'm active here, interact with a lot of my mutuals and artists i come across with whenever their works interest me, i can say as well that my works are decent, i've been here almost two years now and my progress with engagements are still so low, like i have lots of followers but it always makes me think that no one likes me at all bc no one talks to me here 💀 seeing a lot of writers get so much from anything they put out is honestly just makes me wish i have that as well and keeps me over thinking whether my works are actually good or i'm not likable at all.

i don't know, i guess what i want to get here is maybe an advice on how to not feel like this. again, i'm really sorry to put this here and hope you could understand.

hello beloved anon! i do not mind this kind of venting, do not worry <3

i think it is very very difficult to really 'not care about notes'. for artists and for people who basically put pieces of their soul out there into the world (and that counts as silly sexy drabbles too; everything you create has a piece of you in it!), it is hard to send something you care about out into the great wide world and feel as though people are just ignoring it!

for me, though, i try to frame it as thus: it is very nice to have a post with 1000 notes. it is less nice to have a post with 1000 notes when 23 are reblogs with no tags and the other 977 are likes. it is WONDERFUL to have a post with 60 notes where 15 are likes, 20 are replies to specific parts of the post, and the other 25 are reblogs with tags!!! if you can make yourself excited about the quality of the engagement, that is a wonderful way to stop caring about the number! but i understand if you're not even getting that . . . yeah, it can be really difficult!

(and believe me the jealousy is real!!! i have been here for like seven years or so and i sometimes still get jealous of writers with lots of notes and friendship groups that seem to rally around them!)

honestly it sounds as if you are just unlucky! especially if you are an active participant in lifting other people up; i find that artists/writers feel so much more inclined to interact with you if you do it first (i know thats true for me bc i am afraid of annoying people!). i wish i had better advice for you, but there is unfortunately no catch-all 'here is how to stop caring and also to make everyone else care'. but i understand where you are coming from and i can promise you are not at all alone!!! <3 sometimes tumblr also goes through peaks and troughs of interaction; i got way more interaction a few years ago when jjk was at its peak and i was chugging out content than i do now. sometimes it's just about making the right post at the right time! the internet is fickle like that. but i support you and i know you are doing your best and i hope that you can feel a little bit better at least!!! in five years maybe someone will stumble across something you've created and feel Seen in a way they haven't before. you are making something permanent when you Create that transcends notes and asks! <3

[sgt-seabass]

Hi lovely! I wanted to say hello again and thank you for the amazing answer to my ask from last week about your Clockwork AU!

I have another😁

Do you think Nick would ever consider leaving all his ‘work’ behind for the quiet life with puppy…have a big family, be domestic…just kind of all that happily ever after stuff?

Hope you have a great day!!! And thank you again for sharing with us❤️

eeeeee hello again! I got so excited seeing this ask. Thank you so much for your continued interest!

This question is a little harder to answer, because I’m really split in two about it. Nick is not a good person. He has his own circumstances that cause him to be that way, but nonetheless he worked really hard to build the life he has. He would not easily give up his empire, even for his omega. He expects her to adapt to his life, not for him to make sacrifices for her.

That being said, he definitely would want kids and the domestic life one day. For Nick, by having an omega and his empire, that is his happily ever after. Nick may slow down in his later years, and eventually pass on his responsibilities to someone else. Either one of his children or a colleague.

Also, there is a danger in Nick slowing down. A lot of powerful people rely on him, and if he were to pack up, he’d have to flee and go into hiding. There would be a hit on his head and a threat to his family. In this kind of world, you can’t just quit when so many people need your services. Plus, if someone were to kill him, they would have killed a prime alpha. Which is a show of power in itself. Nick can’t show weakness or others will try to take everything from him. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

As a big thank you for continuing to be interested I wrote a little drabble 💙 I hope you like it!

𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆

w/c: 320 warnings: stokholm syndrome a/n: thank you to @sweeterthanthis for helping me combat mean brain when trying to write this. part of my Clockwork AU.

You could feel the soft thump of Nick’s heart as you lay your ear to his chest. The sound always grounded you. The steady rhythm giving you something constant to focus on.

Nick had been working all day until late into the night and only joined you in bed past two am. He’d tried not to wake you, but you’d woken when he slipped into bed.

“There’s something on your mind,” Nick announced into the silence, the mated bond allowing him to feel how your mind was flurried with thoughts. “Talk to me, omega.”

How should you word it? You pursed your lips before snuggling into Nick’s chest. “Don’t you ever want to stop?”

“Stop what?”

“This. All of it. The stress, the work. I want some peace.” You felt nervous telling him your feelings. Nick didn’t take very well to change he didn’t initiate. You’d found your place where you could ask for small things but understood the boundary that major elements would not change.

This world Nick was part of was dangerous and unforgiving. Walking away meant showing vulnerability. And if there was one thing Nick would never do, it would be showing weakness.

“Hm.” Nick hummed, drawing languid circles on the small of your back. “Some peace, omega?”

“It’s fine. Just forget I said—” Fear that you’d annoyed him circled in your core.

“Shh, hush now.” He swatted your back gently, pulling up the covers, so you were both covered by the plush duvet. “I’ll organise to have one of the safehouses turned into a holiday home. There you can have your peace, puppy.”

“Does that mean you’ll stop working while we’re there? Maybe turn your phone off for a bit?” Even the dogs knew your question was controversial, three sets of eyes peering up from their spots by the bed.

“You’re smart enough to know the answer to that question, pup. Don’t ask me again.”

To be updated on when I post please follow @sgt-seabass-library and turn on post notifications.

[wounds-seen-and-unseen]

Whumpmas in July Day 9: Mind Games

I am using a fairly loose interpretation of @whumpmasinjuly Day 9 prompt, by which I mean that I consider conditioning a form of playing mind games with whumpee.

This is a continuation of Embers and Shards, my spin-off, or so to speak, of Sun and Glass by @whumpflash which I have kindly been allowed to write!

The initial installment, linked here dealt with a precursor to Rena’s arrival.

This one is Rena’s first chapter in Sun and Glass from Caelon’s PoV.

Tagging @whumpwillow (I remember you liked the first part and asked to be tagged) and @whumpmasinjuly-archive with @dreamer-in-sleep

Story under the cut, with trigger warnings of slavery, conditioning, implied non-con, physical punishment, anxiety.

2. Questions and Uncertainties

He does his best to keep his head down, gaze on the floor, in front of the new lady, Master’s guest. Her eyes find him nonetheless. He has learnt to read people’s eyes by now. She is excited, amused, at the state he is in.

Excited has never boded well for him, especially with ladies. They would…they would…she is speaking to Master, trading courtesies. He pauses, trying to get a better measure of the lady.

“Back to work,” snaps Master. He cannot stop the flinch at the tone. The lady is looking at him again, eying him head to toe. It takes all his will to not shy away from her eyes, to simply go back to work, but he manages to.

What do his thoughts matter for in the end, regardless? They are without substance, as they have always been.

Without substance they may be, but they serve to bring his attention to his exhaustion, and he stumbles, the heavy trunk falling from his shaky hands.

He tenses, bracing for the inevitable punishment, Master’s warning resounding in his mind. Master had known he would be sloppy.

He tries to reduce the mess, to reduce the magnitude of his error, but of course Master has already seen his sloppiness.

He just holds himself still when he hears Master’s footsteps. If there is one thing he has learnt to some extent, it is the way a punishment is taken. “How dare you make such a fool of me? I had told you time and again that you are to respect my guest. Is this what you call respect? If you presume to disrespect my guest, you will pay for it later.”

He wants to say that he’d never dare presume anything, but he knows that his Master does not want him to reply, so he obeys the implicit order too. It’s all he can do.

Master’s hand expansively gestures to him. “You see? This is exactly the sort of behaviour I meant.”

Tired, resigned fear rises him in anew. Doubtless, he will be punished worse. That is what happens, when Masters talk about such a thing as him.

“With all due respect my lord,” the lady says, her eyes still roving on him, “it doesn’t seem to be his fault. Accidents happen.”

Master gives the reply he has taught the slave by now, what to expect. Sleepless, hungry days and nights. He hates that the carelessness cannot be beaten out of him, or forced out of him. He does not want to be careless, or in pain.

He stumbles his way to the lady’s chambers, all other servants moving hurriedly out of his way. None of them ever talk to him, too afraid of invoking Master’s ire. When he enters her chambers, she makes to touch him, and he barely manages to stagger back and keep his balance. He knows what women want out of him. He cannot bear that pain on top of Master’s punishments.

Whatever the lady might want from him, her rank must be respected, so he apologises, unable to keep the stutter from his voice, his head kept steadfastly bowed.

“Wait.” Somewhere, her quiet, clear command is expected for him. The women always want to take a closer look at him. And she does exactly what he thinks she would, her eyes lingering on his face, his eyes, his dirty hair. He has to force himself to stillness, knowing what is coming.

“Look at me.” Prepared for something else, her subsequent comment takes him off guard. He manages to look at her nonetheless. Perhaps she wants to see his eyes better. Perhaps she wants to see the regret in his eyes when he apologises to her. He had not apologised properly, perhaps.

So he tries anew. “M-My lady, I’m sorry. That trunk”-

Her hand swipes near his face, and he flinches back, too afraid to pay attention to her words. She sighs, and he understands that she is displeased. He makes greater effort to pay attention to her words.

Her next question is far too unexpected for him to answer correctly, for she asks him his name.

He stutters through whatever names he remembers, before he manages to clarify that Master hasn’t named him yet. Somehow that reminds him of his unworthiness, and so he stutters more apologies. They like to hear apologies.

This lady sounds displeased, though. “Calm down,” she commands forcefully. Perhaps his voice displeased her. He has met nobles like those, before.

So he forces his mouth shut, holding still as he could for the inevitable punishment.

She does not punish him. Is that what the Master meant by strange?

Instead, she asks another question.

“Caelon,”she asks, her voice soft, the word unfamiliar. Is that what her people call a slave? “Do you know who I am?”

Heart in his throat, he tries to think, to answer correctly. He cannot recognize her, though. All he can think of are the women who would come in the night, before, to take their pleasure of him. He does not think she would appreciate being told that.

So he tells her what truth he could, shaking his head as firmly as he knows how. “My lady,I…can’t. I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I know I’m not good for anything, please”- In his jumbled thoughts, he finds the desperation to plead. He does not think he can stand through more punishment.

Somehow, she takes mercy on him. “It’s fine,”she says, voice soft and curiously blank. “You can go.”

He flees.

[thebirdandthebee]

Easy As

A Carmen Berzatto Universe

Hey ya’ll. I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA. I’ve been going through some real shit in my personal life that’s been a big drain on me. Any feedback on this chapter is welcome - another request from my inbox!

Vanessa Monaghan is the breath of fresh air that Carmen had been gasping for.

Chapter 27: Tips

“Oh my God, I’m so excited,” Vanessa grinned, a wild look in her eyes as she fluffed her bangs in Carmy’s office, leaning down to check herself in the broken mirror perched on his desk.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever heard say they’re excited to be a server,” Carmy shook his head, grabbing his lucky pen to stick in her pocket.

The Bear was short employees – extremely short. A virus was running through the staff and Carmy exhausted all of his other options before picking up his cell to call Ness.

“Hi Baby how’s work?” She answered, he could hear the rustle of the wax paper he’d wrapped her a sandwich in before he left for work earlier that day.

“I need a favor, Ness,” he said, and she could practically see him running his hands through his hair. “How would you like to turn The Bear into a family business for the night?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked through a mouthful of bread.

“Ricky and Ginny and Leo are all out sick,” he spoke of the serving staff that started after the renovation.

“Oh no,” she swallowed, “who’s going to serve tonight?” She asked, standing in front of the mirror over the kitchen sink, running a finger under her eye to swipe away a wisp of dried mascara.

“Tulo’s going to help,” he mentioned one of their on-again off-again dishwashers. “And maybe you?” He added.

“Me?” Vanessa’s brows shot up. “You want me to come in and help?” She asked.

“If you don’t mind, Ness,” Carmen sighed. “We’ve all called around people we’d trust but it’s a Saturday night…” he trailed.

“So you’d get to be my boss?” She asked with a small grin, already knowing she’d come in to help.

“Babe, I’m already the boss,” he countered, making her throw her head back with a laugh.

“Oh, you wish,” she giggled. “Of course I’ll come help,” she insisted, lifting a weight from her husband’s shoulders. “But baby I’ve never served before, I don’t know what to do,” she added, already walking back to the bedroom to freshen up.

“We’ll do a run through in the next hour,” he explained, “can you just get down here before four?” He asked.

“Changing now and I’ll hop in a car,” she said, stepping into the bathroom. “See you soon, boss.”

Carmen shook his head as he hung up. He was so grateful to have Vanessa on his team, and he was excited to see her a little longer tonight.

“Ness coming?” Syd asked, withholding her own sniffles. There simply wasn’t time for her to be feeling under the weather tonight.

Carmen nodded and Syd could also breathe a little easier.

“Run me the specials again,” Carmen said, tying up Vanessa’s blue apron at the small of her back.

“A little tighter, Carm, I’m trying to make some tips tonight,” she replied, earning an open-palm smack to her ass. She rattled off the night’s specials with a smile, looping her arms around Carmen’s neck. “And a cherry on top,” she finished, leaning forward to press her lips against his.

“No kissing the boss,” he said, eyes soft nonetheless.

“Baby, I am the boss,” she replied, giving him one more soft peck.

“Butt looks good,” he said, sliding his hand down over her curves. She’d donned a pair of fitted wide-leg trousers that generously showed off her nipped waist and round ass.

“You think I’m kidding about these tips?” She asked, “I called Nicola and she gave me some pointers, including the pants,” she laughed. Nicola was a waitress at a family restaurant in West Town through high school. “I might be new to serving, but I know how to work a room,” she winked.

And boy did Vanessa know how to work a room.

The kitchen was a well-oiled machine. At full strength, Carmen could easily focus on his tasks for the night. Even missing a few parts, they all knew what needed to be executed, but every time he could hear Vanessa’s gentle laugh and lilt, he found himself looking out toward the dining room.

He thought it was a total load of shit she’d never worked in the restaurant industry or as a server before. She floated in and out of the kitchen effortlessly – collecting dishes with a smile and taking in the chaos of the room without blinking. She took direction and listened as she received instructions, asking intentional questions and making sure to effectively and efficiently use her time.

Between the second and third rounds of seatings, she stole away to Carmen’s office, a cold diet coke in hand.

“Checking in,” Carmen poked his head into the office as well, seeing his wife sitting on his desk with her feet perched on his desk chair.

“Hi, baby,” she smiled, taking a sip of her drink.

“How are you doing?” He asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“Good,” she insisted with a nod. “Kinda wish I wore better shoes, but I’ll make it work, only two more rounds of reservations left,” she shrugged.

“Tulo is impressed,” Carmen said, wrapping her up in a hug, rubbing his hands up and down her back, feeling her melt into his chest. “We all are,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cheek, just in front of her ear.

“It’s fun,” she said, eyes resting as he held her close. “I’m glad I can help,” she added, “plus, I’ve made eight hundred bucks tonight, so I’m going to be funding a whole spa day next week.” Carmen laughed, not surprised at all.

“Good plan,” he encouraged, “anything you need from me before next shift?” He asked.

“Just you,” she smiled, leaning back to look into his eyes.

“You already got me,” he reminded, flashing up his left hand where he was donning his black silicone ring. His gold band never came to the restaurant.

“Forever,” she grinned, squeezing a handful of his ass in her hand.

“I’ll tell HR,” he threatened as two loud knocks landed on the door.

“Five minutes!” Syd called.

“She’s the real boss,” Vanessa commented, Carmen nodding in agreement.

The third round of dinner went by quickly and Vanessa continued to impress both the staff and the customers. It wasn’t easy getting a reservation at The Bear these days and she knew that part of paying for the experience was exceptional service – she didn’t want to let Carmen or anyone else down.

On the last round of the night, and as some of the staff had moved to kitchen clean as dishes were finalized, Vanessa’s purview whittled down to three tables, an older couple at one, two newly divorced girlfriends at another, and a four top of corporate business bros.

“Now fellas,” Vanessa smiled as she approached the table, which had already rung up an $800 bill on alcohol alone. “I know I can’t send you out into the night without dessert,” she added. “I need you to try our pastry chef’s chocolate cake – it will ruin all other chocolate cake for you,” she insisted.

The closest to her, a blonde, who’d been eating up her presence all night grinned in a way that showed off each and every crown in his mouth.

“I think you might be the most delicious thing here,” he leaned back in his chair, confident from his several glasses of bourbon. “So if you’re saying it’s the best, I gotta take the recommendation.”

“Careful now,” Vanessa shook her head with a smirk, “my husband is a very jealous man, and he handles all the sharp knives back there,” she jammed her thumb over her shoulder. “But I’ll put in an order for four slices.”

And if she put a little extra swing in her step back to the kitchen – that was between her and God.

“Ness?” Carmen asked as he watched his wife push her cleavage up, tucking away any stray baby hairs that had escaped her ponytail from earlier.

“Tuition isn’t cheap, baby,” she replied, making Ebraheim howl with delight. A joke, of course, as her tuition was coming straight out of her trust fund – an exception made by her father who was all too thrilled that his daughter was going after an advanced degree. “Men are so easy,” she finished, smoothly stacking four plates of chocolate cake on her arms before heading back out to the dining room. Carmen looked over to Tina, who simply shrugged with a smile.

After the last reservation settled their bill, and the lowboys had been properly cleaned, Vanessa and Carmen made their way back to the train stop to head home – the evening quickly approaching midnight.

“Twelve-hundred dollars and two phone numbers,” Vanessa waved around her receipts, making Carmen laugh.

“I’m never asking you to fill in again,” he replied.

“Oh, I’ll go right to Syd,” she countered. “This was fun!”

“Thank you for helping out,” Carmen said, pulling her into his side as they picked the back corner of a nearly empty car.

“’Course, baby,” Vanessa smiled, “anything for you.”

“Anything?” Carmen asked.

“Yes, Chef.”

[sherwoodknights]

SP 1999 EPISODE 4 LIVEBLOG

And we are back!!!! Been a couple of days but I'm super excited to see what happens now

Yessss you go you random man you hit chauvvy with your gun for no reason!!!

HELENE IS WITH THE FOREST REBELS?????

GO OFF GIRL TEAR HIM APART!!!

"God is on our side!" "Then why are you losing?" Damnnnnnn

ALUCARD FROM CASTLEVANIA IS BACK AND HE IS BEING A WHINY BITCH

Awwww him and Helene are kinda cute tho <33333

They are my new stupid babygirl otp actually <333

Coughy fucker be GONE!

NOOOOO GABRIELLE IS AT THE CONVENT WE'RE ALL FUCKED

Gabrielle is 2 seconds from backhanding a nun and that's honestly iconic

Oh fuck they're searching it they're gonna find Margot

Yep they've got her

MARGOT WHY CAN'T YOU MANAGE 2 SECONDS WITHOUT BEING ARRESTED SMH

Chauvelin has a talent for hitting nerves my god

HELENE YOU IDIOT HES GOING TO FIGURE OUT ITS YOU IF YOU ARENT CAREFUL

Percy and Andrew swordfighting, I am looking respectfully <33333

He just wants his wife back goddammit

Jesus christ that's a lot of dead nuns

Damn they didn't even bother to give Margot papers that were convincing

DONT SLAP MY WIFE JUST BECAUSE SHE CALLES YOU A BITCH GABRIELLE

YES ALUCARD YOU ATTACK THOSE HEATHENS OR WHATEVER I BELIEVE IN YOU <333

Oooo Chavvy getting told again

COUGHY FUCKER STOP STABBING PEOPLE CHALLENGE

Percy really just walked in and demanded to see Gabrielle and it worked

OH SHIT HES IMPERSONATING CHAVELIN AJDJDJSNDBJDIEEND

Stop flirting with the hot evil woman!!!!! But also honestly who wouldn't

"Be careful" "I'm always careful" actual literal lies but okay whatever you say

DONT GIVE IT AWAY MARGOT YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU

Percy bigging up the Pimpernel while he's in disguise <3333

"Resourceful beyond belief, a thorn in the side of the Republic-" "and altogether too big for his boots" SIR ANDREW FFOULKES YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

They're all enjoying the Chavelin disguise ploy way too much and it's amazing

DONT TOUCH MY WIFE GABRIELLE

OH SHIT REAL CHAUVELIN IS AT THE GATE ASKING TO SEE HER

THEY'RE GONNA CONVINCE HER THAT CHAUVVY IS PERCYYYYYY

YES MARGOT GET HIMMMM

YES GABRIELLE BACKHAND CHAUVELIN LIKE A GIRLBOSS

More Henri and Helene content wooooooooo

Gabrielle why are you locking the door

PERCY NO

GET AWAY FROM HER CLEAVAGE YOU HAVE A WIFEEEE

OH SHIT YOU GO PERCY

Sexiest prison break out there tbh

Rip to Gabrielle what a loser

Shut the fuck up don't you dare hurt Henri or he'll Alucard your ass

Nvm Henri is so pathetic but that's why i love him <333 wet rag of a man

Oh their plan is going to go so horribly wrong isn't it, they're so fucked

BREAKING NEWS: Pathetic Boyfriend and His Catholic Peasant Boy Band Lose So Hard It Hurts

NOOOOOO SHE SHOT MY BOY

Honestly Helene knows what she wants at least

HELENE WHY WOUKD YOU GO TO THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE YOU IDIOT

BREAKING NEWS: Reinforcements Doomed To Pathetically Fail

NOOOOO THEY SHOT HENRI RIGHT IN THE CHEST

HELENE DONT RUN TO HIM DO YOU WANT TO DIE

AND HELENES BEEN SHOT AS WELL NOW

BREAKING NEWS: My Favourite Pathetic Loser Couple Are Doomed

Awwwwww Chauvvy cares about Helene and wants her to be safe, that's what we call character development boys and girls

BEGONE GABRIELLE

GO CHAUVVY

HE SHOT GABRIELLE MY GOD

Pathetic teary-eyed Chauvelin is best Chauvelin?????

Maybe I can possibly forgive him for killing Tony a little bit

Helene my babygirl dont leave me like this

BREAKING NEWS: This OTP Has No Fucking Survivors What The Fuck

Episode 4 is finished and with it comes the end of the second 2-parter!!!!

This one was an absolute roller coaster and had me feeling a lot of emotions, but I enjoyed it nonetheless, shoutout to this shows ability to get me invested in a couple that have only been together on screen for a single episode

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Sitter

Mycroft Holmes x Bethany Wheeler (OFC)

Story Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Austria

Over the next week, Mycroft hadn’t managed to drop by to see Bethany and felt a twinge of guilt over it, but she was in good spirits regardless, having had a very exciting week with Sherlock catching a murderer and feeling like she was a real-life detective. He had phoned her the day before John and Mary were due back to tell him all about it and he’d heard from Sherlock that they wouldn’t have been caught had Bethany not pieced together the motive.

‘I mean, people do crazy things for love, don’t they?’ She said, he could hear her walking home, it was still light out and Mycroft felt slightly comforted that she wouldn’t be in any danger from the men in the house down the road.

‘Indeed.’ He agreed, signing a document that Anthea put in front of him. Mycroft was good at hiding who was calling him by now that his assistant didn’t bat an eyelid. She soon left him alone and he felt comfortable enough to put his feet up before his next meeting. ‘So, you’ve had an exciting week?’

‘Yeah, it’s been great.’ She said, smiling and hopefully enjoying the sunshine. ‘Wish you could’ve dropped by, we would have solved it a lot sooner if you had.’

‘By the sounds of things, you hardly needed me.’ Mycroft said, picturing her in the sun again. ‘I’m sure Sherlock appreciated the insight you have into human emotion.’

‘Yeah, I did have to talk to the victim’s sister a bit more than I thought I would, Sherlock wasn’t being particularly sensitive.’

‘No, I’m afraid he isn’t the type.’ Mycroft mused. ‘You have plans though, don’t you? A hiking trip next week?’

‘Are you spying on me, Mycroft Holmes?’

‘I wouldn’t dare.’ He said playfully. ‘Sherlock mentioned something about it.’

‘That had better be the truth,’ she warned, her smile still evident. ‘If I find out you’ve been watching me in the shower, I’ll make your life very difficult.’

‘I have no doubt, Miss Wheeler.’ He agreed, though the image of her in the shower was a particularly desirable one. ‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m surprised you don’t know.’ She laughed. ‘Yeah, me and a few friends are going camping in Austria, a little bit of hiking and maybe rock climbing if we can. It’s good to get out into the world, see what’s there, you know.’

‘Not my scene, I’m afraid, but do enjoy it.’ Mycroft was a little sad that he couldn’t enjoy the outdoors the way she clearly did, but then again, he’d rather she just be happy.

‘Oh, I’ve been looking forward to this for months, there’s no way I’m not enjoying myself.’ She said, he could hear the sounds of a key unlocking her front door. ‘What are your plans while I’m away?’

‘Running the country.’ He deadpanned, making her giggle. ‘Unfortunately, I will be out of contact for the time you’re away, a few meetings that require my full attention, free from distraction.’

‘And I’m a distraction, am I?’

Mycroft was quiet for a moment, contemplating whether he should have told her the truth. ‘A welcome one, but a distraction nonetheless.’

He listened to her entering her room and making herself comfortable. Picturing her on her bed with a smile still plastered to her face.

‘I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not.’ She teased. ‘So, come on, tell me all the top secret government things you’ll be working on while I’m gone.’

‘Well, seeing as you asked so nicely.’ Mycroft loved the sound of her laughing, far more than he wanted to admit to. ‘But I would like to hear about your trip when you get back.’

‘Yeah? You want to get some dinner or something?’ Bethany asked fairly casually, diminishing Mycroft’s hopes that it could be considered anything more than a friendly encounter. ‘It’s been ages since I’ve seen you anyway, it’d be good, I think.’

‘Dinner sounds perfectly acceptable. Let me know when you’ve returned and I’ll make the arrangements.’

‘Great, nothing too fancy though, I’m not a woman of class, I am a lowly peasant, remember?’

‘You sell yourself far too short.’ Mycroft said, gently. ‘But I will keep in mind your request.’

‘Good.’ She was still smiling. ‘Right, I’ve got some journals to read and you’ve got a country to run, or maybe the secret service to order around…’

‘Nice try.’

‘Can’t fault a girl for being persistent.’

‘Absolutely not.’

‘Right, I’ll catch up with you before I leave. Have a good one Mycroft.’

‘You too.’

Mycroft hung up the phone, idly wondering what journals she was reading, probably light reading as part of her course, but he wished he knew more, it was infuriating for a moment. He was used to just setting up surveillance on people and finding out what he needed to know, but he wouldn’t risk it with Bethany, he didn’t want to upset her for any reason.

He heard a knock at the door and Anthea reminded him that he had a meeting with Lady Smallwood concerning Charles Augustus Magnusson. He internally groaned and tried to focus on something else that wasn’t Bethany Wheeler and him sitting across from each other at dinner.

Mycroft received a final text from Bethany before she caught her flight to Austria, it was a picture of her in the airport with her friends waiting to board the plane and read:

Off to see the world and have adventures. Let me know if you want me to send photos, otherwise, please don’t start a war that means I can’t get home again! – BW

Mycroft smiled, trying to subtly text back whilst in a meeting with Lady Smallwood.

You’re the anarchist, I’m depending on you not to cause an international incident. My power only extends so far. Have fun. Stay safe. – MH

Mycroft would have loved to spend the next week getting the odd photo from her while she was on her travels, but while he was dealing with the Magnusson hearing, he couldn’t let himself be distracted or give him anything to use against him. Bethany was fast becoming a valuable bargaining chip for anyone who might have wanted to get close to Mycroft and he needed to be careful.

He spent the week trying to put out fires where he could, noting that Magnusson had leverage over Lady Smallwood, something that resulted in his interview being dismissed as inconclusive. Mycroft was furious that he’d managed to worm his way into her life like that, possibly with the intention of getting closer to him. Was it a warning shot? It wasn’t clever and it only served to bring out a side in Mycroft he rarely showed other than when someone irritated him a little too much.

He proceeded to distance himself further from a few situations, handing them off to someone who could just about handle it and hoped that would be enough to keep Magnusson at arm’s length. It worked for a while, but Mycroft was searching for a more permanent solution.

He spent most nights sitting in front of the fire, focussing on the next move he needed to make in several different operations he had going. Some more dangerous than others, but all of them as equally demanding of his attention.

By the time the week was up, he was exhausted and looking forward to everything being over so that he could move onto more pressing matters.

Guess who’s back! – BW

The welcome sight of Bethany’s picture message from the taxi home was all he needed to feel his body relax into something calmer. She was laughing in the picture with one of her friends, he hadn’t realised it was a male friend she was holidaying with and felt an instant jealousy. She was more tanned than she had been in the last message he sent, her freckles were almost hidden and her hair was sun bleached, making her look like some kind of exotic creature completely out of his league. She was stunningly pretty. Those dark eyes stared directly at him and made him feel like someone could really see him. It both calmed and unnerved him. Mycroft sighed and typed out a reply whilst getting into his car to go home.

Glad to see you made it back without causing too much trouble. Homeward bound? – MH

Pub. We’re meeting a few friends to celebrate our triumphant return. – BW

And so you should. Stay safe on the way home and please do call if you need anything or if you actually run into trouble. – MH

I will. Thank you, Mycroft. – BW

Mycroft took a deep breath and allowed his mind to finally relax properly after a week of worrying about everything under the sun. Bethany was back and she was in good spirits, Magnusson was being kept at a distance and every operation he was watching seemed to be settling right where he needed them to. There was nothing to worry about.

Well… there was one thing that had his mind racing. Dinner with Bethany. He promised they could spend an evening together once she was back and he wasn’t a man to break a promise.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

[hide-in-imagination]

Helloyyyy, I'm so incredibly glad to have found a creator like you! Until now I have been a big fan of one creator in my country, she has amazing fanfics, yes, but what can I say, she is incredibly rude about her fans. It was enough for a fan to ask her something that she didn't fully understand and her only answer was 'isn't that obvious?' and nothing more, she didn't explain anything to him, and then she called her all fans 'stupid people' and literally always insults her fans while answering their questions . So I am very grateful for you! ❤️ Not only are your stories literally works of art, but you're also an incredible sweetie who obviously loves her fans very much and answers everything they're interested in, even if it can be weird at times 💞 So here's my question 😅 I want to ask if you plan to make Silvana and Simón meet at Roads That Cross? So if it's not something you want to keep secret, like 'yes or no? Who knows? You'll find by yourself, just wait'. Or if you're not planning some kind of one-shot about where Ambar can no longer hide the fact that she knows about her biological mother and tells Simón. And if this isn't the case either, I'm interested in what you think it would look like. Like under what circumstances would Simón find out? If he met her and she told him something like 'Hey I'm looking for Ámbar, she's my daughter, didn't you see her?' or if Ámbar was too much for one moment and she just wanted to tell him? Finally, I would like to apologize for such a long message. It's the first time I write a question like this and I don't really know how to formulate my thoughts 😅

Hiii!

Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear about that writer. I mean, even if you thought a question was dumb or whatever, saying it is just so rude, especially considering that we write for a KIDS SHOW, I mean, did that person even take into account that there could've been a 10-year-old behind that question? A 12-year-old? 15? Calling them stupid is so mean when you have no idea who's on the other side. You never know what someone is going through, that's why you should always be kind; especially to people who consume your content, omg.

I might not be the fastest or most reliable writer, but you can always count on me on at least try to not be rude because that should be the bare minimum.

Having said that, you have no idea how giddy it makes me to read the word 'fans' related to me, I mean, I'm just a small fanfic writer?? I have fans?? sdkjfns *kicks her feet giggling and hides her face*

Now to answer your question... !👀 Yes, Simón will meet Silvana in Roads That Cross. I don't wanna give any details because I don't wanna spoil anything, but YES, he does, and I am so excited about that scene; I mean, it's not like a huge scene, but I love it, nonetheless.

Now, in canon-world, I imagine that Ámbar eventually told Simón everything, but she wouldn't seek out Silvana herself, so Silvana would have to show up again, either at the mansion or at the Roller to talk to Ámbar, and then, I imagine, she would meet Simón. I don't think she would introduce herself as Ámbar's mother because that would be pretty presumptuous of her, considering, but Simón could put two and two together after everything Ámbar told him, and maybe Ámbar is already there with him too, so it would be even easier to deduce who Silvana is by context clues. Simón would notice little similarities between them, like 'She's got Ámbar's nose' or 'she does the same thing as Ámbar when she's nervous.' How the whole encounter would unfold would depend on Ámbar though. I imagine she would be more open to listen now that her life's in order and she's happy, but at the same time, this is the woman who abandoned her for 17 years, so I don't think she would be very kind about it.

Anyway, do not worry about the long message, I don't mind at all! 💕💕💕 It actually brought a huge smile to my face, so thank you for that. And thank you for calling my stories 'works of art', that's beautiful, I'm so happy you like them💙

See you, anon, I hope you have a great week ^^

[gomzdrawfr]

Hi Gomz! Been so inspired by your art, I'm considering picking up digital drawing again haha. What device and app do you use? What would you recommend if I wanna restart drawing? Would be great if you can answer with doodles :D thanks!

Hello Cumi! Thank you very much for this ask, to think I can inspire other people with my doodles means a lot to me <;3 ((def not cryin rn))

In this ask response, I'll include some links that you can check out for the appropriate stuff! I hope you can understand some things by the end of it :D

Disclaimer: im no professional, so most of this is just based on my experience!!

Okie dokie first off:

What device and app do I use?

I draw using a drawing pad, the Deco Mini7 on my laptop, and I use Krita to draw :3

Krita is free to use! You can download it here, or if you can afford it, clip studio paint is definitely a popular choice out there, some people use adobe too!

I will say it may seem complicated at first BUT it is relatively easy to learn once you get the hang of it, there have a full tutorial on their website with videos included if you wanna know more! digital art apps usually works the same way, once you get the fundamentals you can draw on any app tbh

Or if you do want to start using Krita, then you can send me another ask in the future and I'll share you my tips and tricks (which are honestly pretty scuff HAHA))

Other recommendation if you want to draw on phone/tablet/ipad!

2. I know you didnt ask this, but I wanted to share my experience starting out with digital painting/using the drawing pad for the first time

the thing about digital painting is that there's a lot of features here and they serve to make the process easier, but it can be quite overwhelming when you start off! examples are layers

drawing pad also means getting used to not looking at the pad and the screen at the same time + getting used to the pen, I had a hard time with it but the more I use it, the more i got used to it :D

funnily enough, I actually gotten this drawing pad bcuz I started using lecture notes online through pdf and such xD

3. What would you recommend if I want to restart drawing?

Not really sure what you mean about restarting, but Im assuming like finding a new artstyle or trying out different art medium is it? (like from traditional pencil doodle to stylus pen) but if you mean literally restarting then uhhhh XD I guess you gotto start drawing then haha?

I think my motto when it comes to drawing is that no matter what it is, just do it

"its gonna look bad" its okay bcuz at least I drew it, yk? xD the thing with art is the more you draw, the more you're familiar with it, the less intimidating it will become(tho it can still be scary, but hey! baby steps right?)

perhaps what I would recommend is testing out all kinds of artstyle, ask yourself:

what am I going to draw? ex: I wanna do self potraits! I wanna do silly doodles of my favourite characters!

what style do I wanna do? ex: Chibi, non-chibi, landscapes

Sometimes, you won't know those answers to those questions until later on, which is exciting dont you think? one day I said "im gonna draw Ghost in full gears" then the next I decided "actually nah screw that im gonna make Ghost cute" -w-

didchu know my first few digital doodles were done on OneNote? haha yes! and on my lecture notes nonetheless pfttt (this was around october 2022)

When in doubt, always ALWAYS start small and simple. Draw a circle, draw a blob, anything! Make it manageable :D

You can, of course, challenge yourself and go big! the most important key is you're drawing for yourself :3 and you should do something you're happy with!

well, sometimes there are moments where you wont like what you draw or artblock, when it comes to those time Id recommend taking a break xD

Finding your artstyle is an ever growing journey, I would suggest looking through websites like Artstation or Pinterest and collecting artstyle that you like! then learn from it, replicate it, trace it(AS LONG AS YOU DONT CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN AND YOU DO IT FOR PRACTICE PURPOSES!!!) and study it :3

like heck I just found a new artstyle yesterday literally HAHA so you know, enjoy the fun!

4. Other helpful links and video for starting out digital painting:

Marc Brunet, has a ton of tutorials that are useful! my fav one being this one about face drawing and cell shading

Bluebiscuits, very cute artstyle and the videos are always soothing and calming to watch! they did this video about finding your artstyle which I highly recommend! their face drawing tutorial is also really good :3

I also watch tppo occasionally, his video focuses more on how he study other people's artstyle and then implementing it on his own! If you like art studies you can give it a go, like this one!

practice, practice and practice! things like art takes a while to master and get happy with :) like i said, keep trying and dont forget, all of this is for fun!

have a good day! feel free to ask me anytime if you want if you want some clarification <3

[annaofthenorthernlights]

Something more about Bear with me [title might change ] (frozen, Hans/Constanze OC), please!

Hey, I am happy you are asking for this one, but unfortunately, I don´t even have any line written out - but tons of scenes and dialogues in my head.

Basically, the idea to continue with Hans and Constanze comes from writing them in my frozen fanfic "Love can see beyond", where Hans is engaged to Constanze von LIebenstein (OC) by arranged marriage.

Despite the short appearance of Constanze I grew fond of her, and I plan/hope to give them a (little) fic of their own.

The title "Bear with me" could be seen from both sides. One, that Constanze likes Hans despite what people talk about him (she sees the good change in him according to her belief), and is aware of his frustration about being forced into marriage with her. On the other side, Hans will learn to see the good in his wife... though this will take his time - and he tries hard to be fair to her in the meantime... - Hans´ focus will be on horse-breeding and valuing his new life in Bavaria, Germany - Constanze´s focus will be on being a silent carer, and hopefully giving birth to add to the lines of heirs...

Or something like that... lol

Nonetheless, I´d like to leave that little passage that means so much to me from the mentioned/posted frozen fic. Here the two of them are riding out while the royalty of Arendelle is on their way home after visiting the Southern Isles. Contanze has been deeply impressed by Anna´s appearance and has just vaguly mentioned her admiration to Hans. And this is his responsce (since he realises that there is no use of fretting over the past and lost chances forever....)

... But then something stirred inside him, for it was time to put the past to rest. He tilted his head and tried to muster a warm voice, "Stanzerl..." The young woman's head shot up as he called her by her pet name, and her heart leapt at the soft tone in his voice. "...You and I are going to live a different life, and Anna of Arendelle has nothing to do with it. Please promise me that you will never compare yourself to her again." She nodded, stifling a gasp, her own voice trembling with excitement. "Yes, Hans. I promise."

I hope you like the given premise despite the lack of more details or excerpt from the new work... When I get there, I will let you know (as promised before). 😘

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— Chapter XXXIII

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: because I’ve been asked about it quite frequently, it’s safe to say that… mentions of adultery, a bit of fluff while at it, some sad bits as well and a shocking revelation.

A/N: The storm might've tried to stop me... AND IT BRIEFLY DID, but I'm back at it again. :) Nothing much to say, except that I'm happy to be back hehe. Thank you for waiting for me 🥺❤️

Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 34

Ao3 link.

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“Dear Hinata—

I hope this letter finds you well.

I’m still not used to writing that, the dear Hinata thing. It reminds me of those really old letters, like those from the Victorian Era or the war, when people used to be very polite and stuff, super formal, even with their own friends and family! I don’t know how to describe it… it was just weird. I hope you get what I mean.

But yeah, reading back through my letters after I'm done writing them always makes me laugh because I think I’m being melodramatic.

In my excuse, it’s all because of those etiquette classes we were forced to take since we learned how to walk. Ugh, and only because of our roles in the clan! Which I don’t mind! Really… but sometimes the elders tend to be very weird about it, and it makes me feel like they don’t deserve to be treated respectfully at all! And I know that you, more than anyone else, would understand perfectly.

Ah, well, I’m not writing to you to complain about my experiences, I’m doing this because… there’s no other way to put it: I miss you.

It’s been a while since I heard anything from you, or anything at all. And I’m not writing either to complain about that! I don’t want you to feel guilty for not responding because I know you've been very busy with work. 

Last thing I knew about the crisis was that it was getting worse. It was already bad on my last mission, so I can only imagine how it is now.

Either way, even when I understand why you can’t respond, it’s still… painful to not hear anything from you. I wish I could at least get one letter from you, a call, even a smoke signal for god’s sake, I don’t care, anything to let me know how you, Ren, dad, and everyone else is doing.

I hope Satoru isn’t bothering you too much, Sumire as well. I am well aware how annoying they can be on their own, so I feel even worse knowing that I can’t help you ease the burden of their antics ^^; hang on, Hinata!!

As for me, life here has been… ok, I guess. The life of a married woman is surprisingly boring and overwhelming at the same time, but I think it’s mainly because there’s so many new things I now have to take care of that I ever thought of before! Mom and dad sure made it seem so fun… or maybe it’s just them.

Anyways, now that I’ve experienced a bit of the “married life” I’m now confident enough to tell you that you did the right thing when not marrying Satoru. 

Being a wife is boring, you’re expected to keep most of your time inside the house, tending to it and its inhabitants… So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it to you. Although I think Satoru could’ve managed to also make it irritating. 

But yeah, being a sorcerer is much more exciting, totally. I wish I could’ve done a few more missions before retiring.

That kind of makes my life sound terrible, right? Like I’m locked or something. Please, don’t worry. I’m ok, busy, but ok. Just missing you, and Ren. 

I hope dad is ok too. He worries me the most. I hope he hasn’t taken up on drinking again. You know how bad he gets when he does… so please, take care of him if possible.

From there, I don’t really have anything new to say. My ladies, Mariya, Haruko and Hitomi, have been quite calm nowadays, and that’s a bit eerie if you ask me! I hope you can meet them one day. 

Or Mai and Maki, I think you’d find them adorably funny too! And mischievous, mostly that. They kind of remind me of us when we were younger. Oh, but they’re definitely way nicer, we used to be our parent’s nightmare, remember?

All in due time, I suppose.

Well… I guess the main point of this letter is to tell you that I miss you, very, very much. That I hope you’re ok and… don’t worry about me. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be here, waiting for the day I can see you again.

Take care, and give everyone a big hug from my part.

Yours truly, Y/N.

P.S. Please Stop Satoru from getting the idea that just because I’m not there, my things are his. They’re not. And please, please, please don’t let him delete my save files. I do intend on playing them again when possible”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

And that’s how much of your discreet, seemingly harmless letters seem to go—an activity that took most of your attention when you weren’t the Lady of the House or Mai and Maki’s older sister.

One that would quickly become your go-to method when trying to ease the pain in your heart, even if Hinata has yet to write back, thanks to the catharsis it provided.

You’ve long lost count of how many letters you’ve written to her at this point. It’s in the double digits without a doubt, but not all of them have been sent. Because… not all of them were intended to be read.

And since they’re not meant to be seen… you don’t limit yourself when writing your thoughts down—whether they were good, or bad,  none of that mattered once the ink fell into the paper.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

I wish you could meet him, but who knows when that will happen, so for now, I’ll tell you about him.

Naoaki is the best guy I have ever met in my life. I swear.

He’s sweet and caring, sometimes a bit blunt and a little bit weird too (in a good way!), but that doesn’t undermine what a great person he truly is. 

Just to give you an example, I once told him that I liked mochi, and since then, he gets some for  me whenever he can! I’ve had so much mochi in such a short time… maybe for a lifetime because of him. Although it’s not all bad, I got to taste all kinds of flavors I didn’t even know existed! Still, taro remains the best. 

Although I have to admit that I feel kind of bad whenever he brings me stuff, because it’s like I’m forcing him to do that, you know? Even though he already told me that it’s nothing to worry about and that he actually likes doing it… Can you believe he’s even told me he likes doing that… because he likes thinking about me? The mere thought of it makes me blush!

I’ve had these kinds of things happen to me before, but never… like this. It’s different, special… and yet, I’m afraid of acknowledging these feelings. Why?

Well, moving on… You must be wondering what he looks like. All I can say is that he’s very cute—or more like cool! Like a bad boy kind of thing (∩˃o˂∩) 

Oooh, I hope Naoaki never gets to read this letter, because if he does, I think I’ll die!!

But yeah, no amount of words could ever compare to meeting him in person. I’m sure once you meet him you’ll like him too… not too much, I hope (  •̀ - •́  ) Just kidding!

I hope Ren likes him too, since he can be quite… protective sometimes. You know what? Nevermind, the two of you can be like that, dad too!—guess that’s the one thing I don’t miss about you three—now I’m hesitant if I want any of you to meet him, you’ll probably scare him while at it! 

Well, I’m sure neither will feel that way with him. He really, really is… special.

I long for the day I’ll be able to see you all again. Take care.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

I hope you’re ok with the fact that I’m no longer the youngest sister, because our family has grown thanks to the addition of the adorable twins Mai and Maki!

Mai is very sweet and soft spoken, rarely gets herself into trouble… or so that’s what she wants you to believe, because when you least expect it, she’s a mischievous little demon! I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve been spooked by her, and I’m 100% sure she’d give Satoru a run for his money—imagine all the things we could’ve planned together to get back at him? With guidance from us, the masters, Mai can be an excellent addition to our cause, and an unstoppable force ᕙ(  •̀ ᗜ •́  )ᕗ !!

But if you think that Mai is unstoppable, Maki is on a whole different level! She’s a bit rougher than her, although I think assertive is the right word for this situation… But don’t be fooled, for deep inside, she’s very sweet too. She’s caring and very protective of Mai and her mother, and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind. She kind of reminds me of you, and I think you two would definitely get along well. Also, I think I finally found your competition in her! Whenever we play she seems to never run out of energy, she’s also very strong, and sharp… is that even possible for a little girl like her? Maybe, you exist after all (￢‿￢ )

I wonder what Ren and dad would think of them—I know my mom would’ve loved them.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

Have you ever seen something you weren’t supposed to? I promised not to tell anyone, but the embarrassment is killing me! So I need to tell someone, and that someone is you.

I saw… one of my ladies… with her boyfriend… doing… that. Kind of. Yeah. I don’t need to say more than that. And please don’t ask me to go into detail. 

Obviously it wasn’t on purpose!! It was all an accident, but even if everything’s fine now, I still can’t get the image out of my head!!!

It was like… I don’t know, like when you hear that one of your teachers is pregnant. Like, sure, one can suppose those things happen in their personal life… but you don’t want to be told about them, you know?? Ugh!! The mental image!! Ewwww!!!

But ah, it certainly feels good to finally tell someone. I’ve been holding onto this secret for the longest because the rest of my staff doesn’t know, and can’t know because of some stupid details on their contract, but who am I to judge? Nonetheless, it was killing me!! But now you know too.

Now it’s only you, her, and me that knows this. So if this somehow leaks to the rest… I’ll know it was you! (◕‿◕)

Well, I can’t wait to see you again. Give Ren, dad, Sumire, and Satoru (optional) a big hug from me.

Yours truly, Y/N”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

Yours truly, Y/N”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

��Does Kento ever wonder about me? Because I do. There’s moments where I can’t stop thinking about him, wondering if he knows where I am, what I’m doing now—or if he thinks I’ve abandoned him. 

I hope not…

Well, I’m sure you and Ren already managed that, so I guess there’s really nothing to worry about. Or perhaps he already found out what happened to me by himself. You know how Kento is, always the one to seek out the truth when something’s aggravating him…

Still, I wish I was the one who told him that personally. If only I had the time to do that… then maybe I wouldn’t feel like this. 

Do you think he ever foresaw me getting married? Maybe because of our clan, but… I, for once, did not think it would happen, not like this anyways.

And there’s so many things that I missed from him too—like how he’s doing at his job, if he’s already moved to where he told me he was going… or maybe even a promotion! 

I can’t believe I’m missing out on my friend’s life… and even if nothing has occurred, I still would’ve liked to be there. Take him out to eat to celebrate… or be the shoulder he can lament on.

…

I hope he'll be able to forgive me for not being there, and that I’ll also be able to make it up to him in due time.

Please let him know I’m ok, and that I miss him very, very much.

Yours truly, Y/N”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

I can’t hide it anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I have to swallow my feelings and act as if nothing is happening, when the truth is completely different.

I need to get them out, get all of my pain out, less I want to be consumed by it.

My life at the Zen’in estate has been nothing but a nightmare—no, more than that. Nightmares at least end when you wake up. But I haven’t been able to do that. Whether I’m awake, or asleep, this is never ending, every day, getting worse as each day passes.

I can only assume this is hell. 

The things I’ve been forced to go through just because of their depravity are ones I don’t think myself capable of writing down. The mere thought of them nauseates me, makes me want to run, as fast as I can and scream, to let everyone know what I have suffered… but I can’t, and I won’t, because I know no one will hear me.

Naoya has defiled my body, broken my spirit, humiliated me in all kinds of unimaginable ways, taken pride in it, and done it all over again.

But what hurts me the most isn’t what he did, but rather… how I allowed it.

There are days I can’t even stand the sight of myself in the mirror because all that I see is a weak woman that allowed herself to be soiled.

I lived through a lifetime of training, and yet, I couldn’t even stop him from hurting me.

Our family was right when saying that I wasn’t suited to be a sorcerer. Because how could I expect to protect others if I can’t even protect myself?

I’m weak. I’m a disappointment to you, to our family, to the community, and to myself.

Yet… you still wish to save me. You’re working so hard to get me out of here, as if I were worthy of your effort, while I’m unable to do the simplest of things…

I’m ashamed of all the things I’ve put you through. I wish to relieve you of all of this.

If only I could… die, stop being a burden to all of those that care for me, and just disappear… I know everyone would be much better.

I’m sorry”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

So on and so forth.

There’s no particular order behind these letters nor a general meaning to them—outside of being nothing more than a way to vent out the emotions you’re hesitant of disclosing to others, eventually sealing them in their respective envelope, and securely stashing them away from your staff and Naoaki, never to see the light of day.

There were days where your prolificness would show up after particular occurrences, making you fear for their privacy for you didn’t wish to appear… obvious that you were doing something outside the usual before your staff, especially from Mariya since nothing seems to escape her keen eye.

But if she has noticed such a thing, she’s yet to let you know. Well, you guess you could rest easily knowing she would never tell your secret to anyone else, and she’d never confront you directly about it either… but living with that uncertainty might come to torment you from time to time.

Ah, it’s probably all in your head either way. You’re more careful nowadays.

Nonetheless, you appreciate her prudence towards your sensitive matters… and the fact that you were able to find a good friend in this never-ending nightmare that is the Zen’in estate.

Three friends, to be precise: Haruko, Hitomi, and Mariya—they are the definition of loyal, understanding, and empathetic. Even after all that occurred… the horrible things you did to them… they still stood by your side, unwavering.

If there was only a way to repay all they’ve done for you… you’d take it without hesitation.

Or at least a better way from what you already tried. The sweets you got during your last outing were an attempt at that, but that’s only the least you could do and certainly not comparable…

So even after giving them what you labeled a token of your appreciation, you kept wondering day after day, just what else was in your power to show how truly grateful you were towards them…?

“What’s got your cute little head all worked up?”

“Hmm?” you blink, pulled away from the deep realm of your thoughts, back to the present and to the young man alongside you, Naoaki, alongside the wide variety of snacks your staff had prepared for your first break after a long day of overlooking your customary responsibilities. Just like everyday. 

His focused yet inquisitive golden eyes intently stare at you, and this prompts you to shake off whatever remained of your thoughts away, and finally conduct all of your undivided attention to him.

“Oh, nothing, I was just… thinking.” you say, what happens to be somewhat of a truth.

“I can see that” he says, inching a bit closer to your side before reaching over for a grape and offering it to you. It’s been a while since you snacked on something, too deep into your mind to have noticed. He was getting a bit worried, so that’s why he called for you. “That’s a dangerous thing to do, you know”

You give him a small smile before chuckling, cheeks slightly warming up by the action as you take the fruit from his hand. Fingers slightly grazing each other, but you don’t think much of it.

“What? Afraid that I might be plotting something dangerous?”

“Maybe” he smirks, and then shrugs.  “Gotta know if I have to prepare for the worst”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you tease back, then place the grape into your mouth. “I like to keep some mystery when plotting my evil schemes”

“You? Evil?” He ribbed. “Impossible”

“Huh? Why are you doubting me? I can be if I put my mind to it.” you sassed back.

“No, not a cutie like you—You and your mochi cheeks can be anything but evil” Naoaki smirks, raising his hand to carefully pinch your right cheek, and then, you’re overtaken by a combination of embarrassment and shock.

Frozen by his words, you’re unable to do anything else but try to back away from his hand, looking away being the quickest solution, before whispering once freed from him “...don’t say things like that”

“Or deceivingly evil too” he adds with a chuckle. Naoaki is clearly enjoying just how easy it is to get you all flustered. Cute is the word he uses to describe how he sees you. “Feeling better?”

“... a bit”  Once your embarrassment disappears, you turn back to him, now able to appreciate the intentions behind his unforeseen efforts. 

You don’t know how he does it, (or why in some of your most self-conscious moments) but it’s like he has a sixth sense when detecting whenever you’re feeling down—Perhaps it’s your glaring gloomy face and your uncharacteristic silence that gives it away—and how always knows how to make you happy. 

You truly can't believe you were blessed enough to meet him in a place like this.

“Did you like the candy?” you proceed to change subjects, one that you remember not following through due to both of your unavoidable commitments.

“I’m not that much into sweets, but I liked the few I tasted.” Naoaki admits as he leans back into his arm, sighing. You move closer to him, placing your arms alongside his and resting your head on his shoulder, gaze landing on the garden before the two—it's one of the few that still had some spring flowers, the others having already withered away due to the cold weather. In order to make the most of them before they inevitably disappear, this has become your go-to place whenever taking a break. “Now that I think about it, that makes me sound a bit ungrateful”

“No— of course not!” you shake your head; the last thing you wanted was your gift to be perceived as anything else but what you intended: appreciation. “I mean… I was just trying to repay you for all the things you’ve given and done for me… but there’s nothing more I would’ve liked than getting you something closer to your preference, but I—”

“Don’t worry about it” he interjects, swiftly cutting the path he thinks to be leading you back into sour memories. He’s stayed away until now, and Naoaki wants to keep it that way. “I still liked them. I just hope you don’t mind I shared them with Naohiko and Naofumi so they wouldn’t go to waste”

“Oh, you did?” you blink, and your interest is hooked at their mention.

It’s been quite a while since you saw either, even more so to when you last spoke to them.

The only exception being Naohiko, and that’s only because of the surprising interest he had towards one of your ladies. From there, it’s not hard to guess why he kept his distance from you: he doesn’t like you. And honestly? You’re ok with that. He’s not very friendly to begin with anyways.

Naofumi, however, is the one you have not seen at all after your introduction, aside from brief glances here and there, occasional greetings whenever he’s close enough to hear them, but from there, nothing. He’s virtually invisible, and that’s a shame, because you felt a certain affection towards him and would love to get to know him a bit better. Maybe Naoaki can arrange something…? 

“What did they think?” you ask.

“I hope you weren’t expecting much from Naohiko, since he’s kind of… how do I say it…?”

“A jerk?” you blurt out, and he huffs.

“Heh, guess there’s no other way to put it”

“Hmmm, well, it seems he’s only like that with me. Others would say he’s not that bad.” you say, and Naoaki raises an eyebrow.

“Now that’s a new one. Where did that come from?”

“Oh, nowhere.” you shrug, reaching for another grape. You intend to stuff it in your mouth as if to create an escape from being confronted and telling on more than you already have, but Naoaki, who came from a family of exceptional sorcerers, caught on to your intentions almost immediately, and swiftly robbed the grape from your hand, foiling your escape plan and causing you to drop your mouth agape out of shock. “Hey!”

“Ah, ah” he grins, raising his hand to keep the grape away from you as you scurry to grab it back, to no avail. “No grape for you until you tell me”

“Tell you what? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you feign ignorance, or more like try to save Hitomi’s reputation, with a wide grin on your lips that implies something else. You might be a bit offended by his actions, but you can’t say you weren’t having fun.

“I’ve never heard anyone say that about my brother” he explains, face leaning closer to yours. You blush, darting your eyes away at the sudden proximity. “Come on, Y/N. Tell me— or I’ll be forced to keep you here. I don’t care if you have more things to do, you’re not leaving until you tell me.”

“Well then, I hope you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing because we’re spending the night here!” you declare, crossing your arms and looking away. He huffs, clearly impressed

“Seems I miscalculated your loyalty for your staff.”

“My staff?” you blink “Who said anything about—”

“Guess.”

Ah, Naohiko, of course. His well-known imprudence goes hand-in-hand with indiscretion. There is no way he would’ve been able to keep quiet about his newfound interest on the then newest addition to the staff, the dark yet beautifully mysterious Hitomi, without gushing about it to his brothers, of course. It’s physically impossible for him to do so.

“...Oh” you murmur, sounding a bit defeated. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Well, putting aside Naohiko’s opinion, Naofumi liked them very much. I’m telling you, you don’t find these kinds of things around the estate, so it's only obvious they'd jump at the chance of eating them—even if they don’t like it.” he reassures you with a smile, enjoying the way your face seems to light up at the seeming approval of one of his siblings. A sight he never wishes to take his eyes from… or better, earn it for himself. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything, I can assure you, they liked it”

“I wasn’t that worried about them…” you slowly begin to confess, cheeks slowly obtaining a crimson color as you glance from the garden before you, to his hands, and finally, up to his eyes.  “...I was more worried… about you.”

“Really?” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, in such a way that makes something inside you… burn, as he tilts his head to the side. 

Naoaki is moved by your admittance, however, he’s not surprised, for you often portray your care towards others, it was in your kind nature after all.

But the more he gets to be with you, the more he can’t help but think that, from a moment forward, there’s been an additional value behind your words, your actions; and he’s not talking about the night he cuddled you, he’s talking about something else, something deeper.

Something more meaningful, intimate between the two—a thing he longs for, yet, saddens him.

There’s no doubt in his mind that if the circumstances between the two had been completely different, without his brother lingering in the background, and no commitments holding you down, he wouldn’t be this hesitant. Perhaps you neither.

But after all that’s happened… is it… impossible? Maybe… there is something to be done.

“Do you think of me often?” he incites. “Because I do”

“…There’s no way to answer that” you press your lips together, swallowing before looking away once again—you can never look him in the eye like this, yet, as overwhelming as it feels, you don’t wish to run away.

“I think there is.” He says, moving his hand close to your lips, hovering over them and carefully placing the grape there, as if inviting you to let it in. 

You were hesitant, beyond flustered by the seemingly intimate undertone of his action and the consequences that it could unleash, but you eventually relent, slowly opening your lips and accepting the fruit.

But when you thought your agitation couldn’t worsen, the moment you feel the warmth from his fingertips slide over your lips your heart explodes.

It’s not the first time you’ve been this close to him, the most being when you shared a bed with him one particular night you were feeling like absolute garbage, but this… this is beyond that—and you know so because it feels like that. 

You’ve long admitted feeling the existence of a sprout, the smallest of them yet ever present, of what you assumed to be feelings for him. 

It took you a while to get there, still working on it in a way, mainly out of fear of doing something that might endanger you, or… not wanting to go past the point of no return when you finally acknowledge them.

It’s not time for that, you’d say to yourself from time to time, as if to feel less guilty for them this isn’t something you should be doing if you want to survive…

But if all he’s ever done is bring you happiness in this cold, dark world, keep you… hopeful, perhaps even motivated, to keep on fighting…

Is it really that bad to indulge in them?

Anyone else would’ve supposed not.

After chewing your grape, you look back up to him, only for your cheeks to flare up even more—was that even possible at this point?—for his golden eyes were firmly set on yours, and it might just be your imagination, but you feel as if he were… asking you to do something. Do more.

It’s like he could see the essence of your soul, and the turmoil in your thoughts, discarding everything else around you, and hypnotizing you to solely keep your attention on him and make a decision regarding your feelings.

But that moment was not to arrive just yet, and when his exposure felt too much for your poor heart to handle, as well as remembering your current position, you instinctively looked away, comfortingly reaching for another grape, and shoving it into your mouth, in order to bail you out of this situation.

Had you been alone, in the confines in your room with him, underneath this exact situation, would you have reacted the same way? Or finally take the next step?

“…A—Anyways” you murmur, voice strained, as you do your best to wash away the lingering sentiments of this sudden encounter while praying that this hadn’t ruined anything between the two. After all, there is a possibility you were just misinterpreting his actions…

Can you still say that after he admitted to wanting to be close to you, outside of a simple friendship?

“How’s—How’s work?”

Naoaki falters for a moment at your unexpected detour, frantically asking himself if he had overstepped and caused you to feel uncomfortable.

Maybe, but even then, he doesn’t allow this change to upset him that much—out of the necessary of course. Naoaki hates the possibility of hurting you, so much that he’s already thinking on how to make it up to you— for  he's long learned that these small moments with you are the ones he should value above anything else; if it’s meant to happen, it will… he supposes.

Instead, he smiles, holding back his disappointment and angst for longing something more, before continuing on with conversation.

“Busy, it’s been terrible. And it’s only getting worst since we’re getting close to the busiest day of the year” 

“Busiest day…?” you repeat, wasn’t that usually during summer?

“October, finals of” 

Oh. Right. It’s only the second busiest day of the year for sorcerers.

“Halloween” you answer “Wow, time sure goes by fast”

Has it really been that long since you married Naoya?

“Especially when you’re busy.” he groans. Naoaki sure loves working as a sorcerer, but sometimes it just… ugh. “I’m not enjoying the fact I rarely get time to spend here anymore, from the moment I wake to when I sleep, all I do is work, work, paperwork, and more work”

“I’ve noticed—you rarely spend the night here too.”

“Hmmm, when you put it that way, I guess I got lucky.”

“Why?” you tilt your head, confused.

“I saved myself from your cold hands and feet”

You pale.

“Jesus… Naoaki” you frown “… you always have to make fun of me, don’t you?”

“I can’t help it, you make it too easy” he smirks, and your indignation (or worry, more likely) is ignited once more.

“I’m working on it. It was supposed to be a surprise but… I guess I could tell you now” you effused, now both excited and nervous to see his reaction. “I was making gloves for you! So… my hands wouldn’t bother you that much”

Naoaki blinks, now it’s his time to be flustered.

“Oh, Y/N… I—I was only joking about that!”

“... it doesn’t have to be just for that” you say, embarrassed to have taken his words a bit too seriously. But you couldn’t be blamed, the last thing you wanted to be is a nuisance for him… and you felt your hands too… maybe you should be the one wearing them? Oh, how… awkward… “You can take them to missions, or just… use them in general… If I ever get to finish them��

“What do you mean?”

“I was doing them alongside Hitomi, but now she’s doing something else so I had to pause that. I hope I’ll be able to catch up before winter ends!” you chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your neck and Naoaki smiles. He already thought you couldn’t be any more perfect… but your enthusiasm towards his gift proved him wrong.

“I’m sure they’re going to be great when you finish them” he reassures you and your heart flutters. For him, you’ll do your best. “As for catching up… there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you before I leave again”

“Oh” your heart sinks. Already so soon? He’s only been here for a few hours, must he really go? “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. And it seems I won’t be able to visit you until halloween season is over, but I’ll try to do my best to be here.” he says, and you press your lips. It definitely sounds like it’s going to be a long time before you’ll be able to see him again… you just hope nothing bad happens until then.

“What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“I saw your sister the other day”

And in less than a second, the sentiments you had of anguish pertaining to his absence were swiftly replaced by those of shock and optimism, for what this sudden course of events could mean to your predicament, and overall, the closure you've been desperately seeking.

“Wh—where? When??” Unable to contain your emotions, you fret, instinctively lunging towards him and grabbing his hands. Although when it comes to him, when do you not?

“HQ called for a reunion a while ago” Naoaki starts, holding onto your hands gently. It was endearing for him to see how your big round eyes glistened with anticipation at the mention of your sister.

Oh, if only…

“I wasn’t expecting to be there at first, but since I’m covering for Naoya for the moment… Anyways, the meeting turned out to be a pretty important one since a bunch of other sorcerers were there, amongst them, your sister.”

“Was—Did you see my brother too?” you naturally presume, your expectations now soaring in the sky.

“No, unfortunately I didn’t” he responds, and you press your lips, discouraged. «Well, you shouldn’t be greedy» you try to reassure yourself «it’s good enough that he’s been able to see at least one person from my family»

“What happened? Did she talk with you? Did you talk to her?”

“Ah, Y/N… I’m going to be completely honest—I tried approaching her but she… she didn’t seem very friendly” Naoaki chuckled nervously, so as to hide his own disappointment towards himself. It seems that whenever he has advancements regarding your family, it’s always negative.

He wishes that the day he’d be able to tell you something good will come soon… if only to easen some of your burdens.

“What… happened?” you prod on. To say that you were also disappointed… well, it was only expected that you’d be. “Did she say something?”

“I tried approaching her, at first to say hi but as soon as she looked at me I felt as if I had done something terrible. She gave me a stern look, remained quiet, and then… left. I gotta say Y/N, if it wasn’t because you two look alike, I would've never guessed you were related to her—since you’re so kind and friendly…”

With that, alongside the fact this wasn’t the first time you heard such a thing, you’d have to agree with Naoaki.

Hinata always carried an aura that was colloquially known as  “scary dog privilege” wherever she went—especially with you. 

In other words, whenever out together, Hinata acted as if she were your own personal bodyguard, scaring off unsuspecting passersby she considered unworthy of your attention, presenting a threat to you, or just people she didn’t vibe with—and that’s a behavior she had since childhood

To make matters worse, Ren was like that too—you grew to assume that their overprotectiveness came from your status as the youngest of the family (and in some peculiar cases, fear of being replaced), a quirk that came straight from your father’s side—although you could feel a bit at ease with him, since he acted that way that with everyone… kind of.

So to hear that your sister wasn’t that receptive towards Naoaki was not surprising—if anything, it just made sense. From a start, Hinata never liked the Zen’in, considering them to be too conceited. A sentiment that naturally extended to Naoya. Who Naoaki looks like…

You sigh.

Had Hinata known Naoaki the same way you did, you were absolutely sure their encounter would’ve been way different—maybe even worked with him to get you out of there— but since all she has for reference is Naoya, it’s only natural that she’d treat him with a certain… disdain. 

Perhaps not stupidly obvious as to not set off any alarms, but she wouldn’t relate to him any more than necessary. For all she knew, Naoaki might be just as guilty as Naoya.

Is that—is that the reason why she hasn’t responded to your letters? They are signed under Naoaki’s name after all…

«Oh, Hinata…»

You really hoped she would’ve seen through their façade and given them a chance… Her stubbornness can be quite the powerful enemy when it comes to it.

But if that hasn’t been achieved in the past, what makes you think it would change now?

“Yeah, that sounds like my sister alright” you murmured, releasing another sigh. “She’s always been like that, not… very friendly.”

“She did greet me eventually” Naoaki interjects, as if trying to save the reputation of your sister before your eyes. As an older brother, he knows all too well that awful feeling of disappointing your younger siblings. “It was a quick nod, and I can’t blame her, she seemed to have the heaviest workload of the season, at least from what I heard at the briefing—no wonder she wasn’t all too friendly, she’s probably overworked.”

Another reason, the most plausible one, for her silence. One that consoles you into not being so harsh towards her.

You can’t imagine that being a very important, highly sought after sorcerer was any fun, or that it left her any time to do something. That was already her life when she was just a student, getting to see her less and less during holiday breaks, so now that she’s a professional it just got worse.

Yet, as overworked as she was, you never left her mind. 

This doesn’t make you feel any less regretful than you already were when it came to your frustration for her lack of response—but it at least reminds you to be extra careful if you decide to send more letters to her.

Your actions, even though taking place in a secluded area, must not jeopardize her in any shape or form. Avoid giving away anything that might inform Naoya you’re planning your escape with your sister and ruin her efforts. 

Now that you think about it, Naoaki actually exposed himself even more than he already has when it came to interacting with her. 

If anyone from the Zen’in clan, or someone close to them, had seen the two or gotten the faintest idea that something was going on, they might’ve rushed to relay this information to your tormentors with the purpose of enacting punishment—more so after your reputation as been notably tarnished after the rumors that sprouted between you and Naoaki.

You assume that because something has yet to occur, they didn’t know—but risks are something you can’t afford to take and maybe next time you won’t be as lucky.

“It’s good she didn’t say anything then” you say, and this catches Naoaki by surprise.

“Why do you say that, Y/N?”

“Because someone could’ve seen you with her and assumed something bad” you explain “I’m… supposed to be here, cut away from the world, right?”

“…right” he frowns, whenever he remembers that you’re virtually locked up in this fancy jail infuriates him. Yet, he doesn’t want you to lose hope, and he reminds you that. “I’m still willing to send her letters.”

“Thank you… but right now I don’t have anything” you say, omitting the fact that you’ve been writing consistently, although as explained before, for therapeutic reasons. Not exactly letters you’d want to be delivered any time soon, if at all, and certainly not the ones you’d wish to get intercepted if you ran out of luck. “For now I just want you to focus on your job, do the best you can, and get back safely—from what you’ve told me, it seems it’s only getting worse.”

“Ah, that’s nothing new” he shrugs. “The only thing I look forward to when out are the days I’ll be able to see you again.”

“…gee, you just love making me feel bad, don’t you?” you pout.

“Huh? Why?” he chuckles. “I’m just saying the truth”

“Because you make me sound like I’m so interesting, when that couldn’t be any further from the truth! I just tend to the house, help Mai and Maki with their homework, or follow Junko around the estate. Certainly not things I’d call exciting.”

“That’s not true. And you know that.” Naoaki frowns, he never, ever liked this denigrating aspect of yours. To him, you were doing equally important work. “Either way, I’d rather you do that than be out there where it’s not safe… Although I’m sure you’re more than apt in defending yourself, fellow sorcerer—even if you hadn’t told me your technique yet.”

Ah, if only he knew you were questioning your abilities in one of those many letters…

“Like I told you… I’d rather show you.” you explain and he smiles.

“I’ll look forward to that day then” He gently pinches your cheek, and you huff, annoyed by the pain from his pinch, before laughing once he releases you and chuckles as well.

A shadow suddenly emerges at the distance, catching your attention just by the corner of your eye, making your head swirl into its direction in an attempt to figure out what it was. 

The answer soon appears clear as day: It’s Mariya, with a tray in her hands intended to pick up your plates, walking towards the two, alongside the reminder that your break was over.

“I have to go now” you say, a bit embarrassed at the notion that she might’ve seen your closeness with Naoaki, as well as upset that it had to end seemingly so soon—It’s been well over an hour, far longer than what you intended, but with him, time seems nonexistent. “Well, I’m certainly happy that I got to see you before you left”

“It was nice seeing you again too, pretty” he smirks and you halt, mind attempting to process his compliment, before continuing on by standing up quickly, an effort made to aside your fluster, and begin to pick up your plates—but Naoaki wins you to it by doing the same, if not a bit faster.

“…Thank you” you say, receiving the dishes from his hands, before looking up to him. No words were said between the two, but you knew it was not time to say goodbye.

Your farewells with him now consisted of a hug, which you were more than tempted to do on this occasion, but Mariya’s presence stops you, so instead, you opt to perform a simple bow, wish him a good trip, and turn around for your own departure.

Or so that’s what you intended to do, for Naoaki had another plan; before you were able do as much as think of heading towards Mariya, he swiftly grabs you by the arm, careful to not startle you into dropping the plates and pulls you into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around you and encasing you there.

Your heart was already a mess the moment the back of your head landed on his chest, more so when you unwittingly imagined the look in Mariya’s face for acting witness to this moment, but when you take a whiff of his scent, and feel his head resting on yours before kiss it, you spiral.

“In case I don’t see you for a while—I don’t want to forget how you feel in my arms”

With your hands slightly trembling, Naoaki eventually releases you from his grasp, slowly turning you around to give you a soft kiss on the forehead—another gesture that has your heart thundering against your ears.

“See you later, Y/N. Don’t work yourself too hard.” And with that, Naoaki leaves.

Your eyes remain glued on his back as he walks further and further away from you, as if trying to ensure his safe departure, before returning to the present and to the stern face of a woman who wasn’t too fond of this relationship (but under divergent circumstances compared to the Zen'in) when he was finally gone—Mariya.

Once seeing you walk towards her, Mariya snaps out of her trance and steps closer to you, intending to swiftly maneuver the plates from your hand into her tray. 

“Did you enjoy your food?” She asks. You tried to help her with her task, but no matter how many times you tried, she never relented. Well, Mariya didn’t gain her outstanding reputation for nothing.

The first thing that Mariya noticed from the plates was that the snacks were completely gone. She usually doesn’t make a big deal out of it, outside of watching what kinds of things you were inclined to eat and see if they matched Junko’s… “suggested” diet, however before she could do all that, she first needs to assess whether it had been you the one behind its emptiness or Naoaki, whom she has now unwillingly taken the role to feed as well.

Which she did not like, not one bit.

Couldn’t he just ask his own staff or something? Her loyalty only extends to you, not him. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore, she’s long accepted the fact that whenever he’s around she’s feeding two.

“Yes, it was good as always” you say, a quick nod and a smile on your face as you now follow Mariya deeper into the estate and onto your following chores—your previous sentiments of awkwardness now slowly dissipating. “The grapes were particularly sweet today.”

“They’re from a fresher batch, Haruko made sure to check them.”

“Haruko’s taste never fails.” you proudly state. “I know I can always count on her for that!”

Mariya’s lips tugged upwards at the mentions of one of the sisters, and it wouldn’t take much longer before she comes to the conclusion that she’d be a fool to let Naoaki ruin her time with you. After all, she too has found a good friend in you.

“Her reactions are the best way to know if a food is good or not. If it’s good, she’d grin, but if it’s bad, she’d twist her mouth in the funniest way ever that always has me laughing!—Ah, this takes me back to the face she made upon tasting the sweets you got her. I’ve never seen her that happy!”

And how could you forget? It had been a sight that eased your nerves, caused by your indecision when it came to selecting gifts for your staff. 

Of all of them, you were most hesitant towards Haruko due to her peculiar appetite. While she was known to be a great lover of all the edible, you didn’t want to choose the one thing she didn’t like.

Fortunately, of all things that were said of Haruko, being a picky eater was not amongst them, apparent on her excitement upon receiving your gift, wasting no time to rip the box open and gobble all of its contents, which naturally earned her a scolding from Hitomi.

“If you eat them too quickly you won’t get to enjoy them!”

Haruko was on her way to retaliate, but you swiftly interrupted her by taking out another bag of sweets and handing it over to her.

“I… kind of suspected that would happen, so I got more.” you explain nervously. “I wasn’t sure which of the two to get you, so I got both… I hope it’s ok.”

Moved by your gesture, Haruko would begin to cry, much to your shock, and then, happiness.

“Oh Y/N-chan…!” she then lunged towards you to wrap her arms around you, unwittingly rattling you. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you so much!!”

You chuckle, immediately wrapping your arms around her, reassuring her it was fine and to continue on with tasting out all of the sweets—you got her a variety pack after all, and all flavors must obtain her approval before anything else!

Hitomi on the other hand, relents to accepting that her sister will always be like that, sighing and crossing her arms as if disappointed, but then, a smile parts her lips, proving that it really didn’t bother her that much either way.

Hitomi and Mariya would also get a gift from you, showing their gratitude in a less theatrical way than Haruko, but holding the same sentiment.

The seamstress would have a few samples at that moment, before saving them for another occasion, in her own words: to have after dinner, or when craving something different from the usual.

And Mariya would do the same, keeping her two bags for another moment, but for an entirely different situation. Which wasn’t a decision that raised any suspicion amongst the rest of your staff, only clear to those involved: she intended to share them with Tatsuro, her boyfriend. And you wanted her to share them with him, for you also wished to acknowledge how he, although indirectly, supported you as well—it’s why you gave her double the gifts in the first place.

From there, last but not least, Mai and Maki: as a reward for all the hard work they’ve been doing at school and to keep persevering, as well to show that you cherished them very, very much. God knows they deserve it the most.

However their mother, always the attentive one, seemed to sense the intention from you as soon as it crossed your mind, and before you were even able to do as much as ask for them, Junko warned.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Well, now you were left with more bags that you would’ve liked, and the responsibility of finishing them before rumors began to make their way across the halls.

Haruko, Hitomi and you tried to finish them to the best of your ability, but the team took a hit when Haruko went into a small sugar coma, forcing the rest of the members to delegate this task to someone else, that person being… Tatsuro.

Ever since that aspect of Mariya’s personal life became apparent, all of her actions gained another layer of meaning—it was so obvious that when she wasn’t partaking in her responsibilities, she was spending time with him. Either through her slightly pinkish cheeks, the smallest strands of her out of place from her usually tight bun, or the subtle stammers accompanying her speech… all roads that led to him.

Which prompts you to ask…

“So… how was Tatsuro today?” you say, a mischievous smirk on your face as the two continue on your path.

“Good… thank you for asking.” Mariya says, carefully glancing at her surroundings as if to check no one’s around, before continuing on. “He’s been in a happier mood since you got him those candies, said it reminded him of his childhood, when he’d go to the convenience store after a hard day at school, to cheer himself up.”

She laughs at the memory.

“Oh, and what was a hard day for you, Tatsuro? Getting to study instead of playing? ” she’d tease.

“Absolutely! A kid has to enjoy a healthy balance of work and play! You’ll have the rest of your life to worry about those things—so why not make the best of your youth when you can?” he states proudly, before pulling her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder “And I just happen to know someone who needs to be reminded of that”

“Just eat” she says, hearing him laugh before kissing her cheek.

“I’m glad he liked them” you smile before sighing. “Ah, but I’m still upset that I wasn't able to give them to Mai and Maki…”

“Don’t torture yourself with it. You know how their mother is, it’s the intention that counts at the end, and I’m sure they would’ve liked it either way”

“I would’ve loved to hear it from them though… and isn’t it weird that Junko-san doesn't let them eat candies? They’re kids! That’s when you’re supposed to!” you justify.

“Is that what you told yourself when you were younger to not feel bad?” Mariya raises an eyebrow, taunting you with a smirk.

“…Maybe” the two laugh. “Oh, come on, Mariya! Don’t tell me you didn’t indulge in sweets when you were younger!”

“I couldn’t afford them when I was younger” she declares, and her statement makes you feel… a bit like a jerk, honestly. You really should remember that not everyone has the same facilities as you—Hitomi and Haruko being prime examples of that, having previously confided to you that they virtually send all of their money to their mother and sister in order for them to live a comfortable life. 

Mariya catches your gloomy reaction, which immediately makes her regret her selection of words, and proceeds to clear up the guilt in your face. “I mean, I might not specifically indulge in sweets, but there were other things I liked.”

“Like what?” you eventually ponder, now feeling less imprudent. What could the talented Mariya long for when the midnight craves hit?

“Shaved ice— I know it’s not that easy to do, but, oh… it’s so, so worth it.” She says, with a tone that drips of desire to get her hands on a bowl.

“What’s your favorite flavor?” 

“Strawberry, but I’ve been leaning more into lemon nowadays, or a combination of flavors. Ever since Tatsuro bombarded me with strawberries I’m done with it—at least for now.”

“Aaaahh, so the best way to win your heart is through food?” you gasp “Who would’ve known!”

“You’re quite cheeky, aren’t you?” she grits her teeth, you laugh.

“But am I lying though??—Oh, how sweet!”

“…He is! “ Putting aside your playfulness, Mariya succumbs to doting on her undeniably adorable boyfriend—and let him be appreciated too! “Whenever there’s a new delivery of shaved ice he always does his best to save some for me…”

“Aww, I can see he loves you, very, very much” you gush “How long have you and Tatsuro been dating for?”

“We’ve actually been together for a few mon—”

“Who’s Tatsuro?” A gentle voice asks, coming from behind the two and certainly unaccounted for, evident by the way you and Mariya freeze on the spot, wide-eyed and skin pale, while darting at each other distressed we messed up glances before slowly turning around to uncover their identity:

It was Hitomi. The last person they wanted knowing of Mariya’s secret. 

There’s a reason why you and Mariya had kept this aspect of her life away from them, specifically the seamstress. And it’s not because neither believed them capable of keeping a secret, as you stated before, they were tombs when it came to that.

But rather… Mariya didn’t want to disappoint them. Didn’t want to appear hypocritical by saying she was following the guidelines of the estate, and then, not.

She already went through her fair share of doubts when it came to accepting her feelings for him and subsequently starting a relationship, so she could only imagine how this would shatter the perfect image of responsibility she conveyed to them—the one that worried her the most was Hitomi, the stricter of the two, and the most sensitive as well.

Thus, it’s only reasonable that she’d lie on this occasion.

“Oh, no one important.” Mariya explained, jumping to adopt the indifferent stance she has to take in these situations, while scrambling to create a good enough response to stop Hitomi’s rising suspicions. “Just a fellow staff member, one I talk to from time to time to check the goods that arrive at the estate. He’s part of the group in charge of the exteriors, like finding wood, or the food that isn’t found at the village, those kinds of things—that might be why you don’t know him.”

The seamstress keeps quiet while intently staring at your main lady-in-waiting, seemingly with no other intentions than to scrutinize her words down to the smallest details and find the underlying deceit, if there’s any. 

As seconds pass and she has yet to say anything, both you and Mariya feel the pressure of her judgment growing heavier and heavier in the air, slowly coming to realize that the moment both did the best they could to avoid, has finally arrived.

Time goes by agonizingly slowly under Hitomi’s sharp gaze, and you could almost feel a confrontation was to happen, the anticipation making your palms sweat, Mariya’s heart pounding painfully ��it’s such a nerve wracking moment, that when Hitomi finally decides to speak, both feel like they’re going to pass out.

Fortunately, it seems that all their worries were for naught, for what she says and does is nothing less than music to both yours and Mariya’s ears: she sighs, crossing her arms, and takes the conversation to an entirely different direction.

“I see. Well, I just came to see Y/N.” Hitomi says “There’s some clothes I want her to try for the cold season, before it gets cold obviously.”

“Oh—it’s that what you’ve been working on?” Mariya asks, now feeling safe that her secret will continue being just that, a secret. Nonetheless, something from this moment would continue to bother her the back of her mind, as if telling her to not lower her guard just yet, for Hitomi might’ve moved this topic for another day…—or maybe it’s just her paranoia speaking.

“Yes—I wanted to make something for Y/N-chan as a thank you for the gift she gave us.” she explains—and suddenly it all made sense as to why she’d paused your lessons with her, why she’d disappeared for hours, or why she was going down to the village more often than necessary. It’s because she was preparing warm clothes for you.

And as if that wasn’t impressive enough, the reason behind her actions makes you feel more silly when comparing what you gave her in the first place. 

You don’t try to believe, at all, that your candies are adequate competition against the amazing garment you were absolutely sure she had prepared for you…

“Oh…” you murmur, cheeks red with embarrassment yet, moved by her gesture. “thank you…”

“It’s nothing” she says, turning to you and giving you a smile. “I already have the things in your room—if there’s nothing else pending to do, I’d like you to try them on now.”

“There’s only one thing left on your schedule, Y/N” Mariya says “But it’s not urgent, so we can postpone it to later.”

“Then it’s set, let’s try on some new clothes!” You grin, clasping your hands. Truth to be told, you were glad this change happened, because you weren’t feeling like going back to your duties just yet. So no resistance from your part.

“Where’s Haruko, by the way?” Mariya asks once the group begins to head towards your chambers. 

“She’s in the kitchen, but she’s already making her way here.” Hitomi responds. Knowing her sister well, she made it her duty to tell her first before searching for you, for in Haruko’s own words… I’d die if you made something and didn’t show me! 

“Then it won’t take long to see her.” Mariya presumes, and just as they enter the living quarters, the blurry image of Haruko sprinting to their direction makes its appearance. “Talk of the devil…”

“Ah, I’m so happy I managed to get here before anything started!” she breathes, rushing over to the group while seemingly holding something underneath her sleeves and obi—her enthusiasm makes you feel anxious and a bit embarrassed, for it makes it seem as if you were attending some kind of gala… 

Well, you won’t say that underneath all those sentiments, you weren’t a bit excited too.

“What do you have there?” Hitomi frowns upon noticing the protrusion on her clothes, silently hoping it’s not one of her usual escapades that will definitely put her in trouble if seen by the wrong eyes…

“Snacks, of course!” she grins, making the youngest of the two groan. Mariya and you hold back stifled chuckles, the performance was just about to start.

“Oh, Haruko! How many times have I told you not to do that? Were you at least careful to not be cau—” 

Thud!

The noise, although relatively demure when compared to Hitomi’s voice or the sounds of water coming from the nearby pond, is prominent enough to cut through their conversation and immediately pull their attention towards it’s direction.

They kept silent, as if waiting for a repetition…

Thud!

It came from the same direction, and now, all of their attention is on it. With their curiosity growing stronger and stronger the closer they got to its origin, more so when distinguishing rushed, heavy footsteps amongst the commotion.

Walking deeper into the living quarters, they eventually see a group of staff members gathering in the hallways, who were carrying two large boxes as they walk towards one of the rooms and stop just outside the door—coincidentally, yours.

“What is going on?” you’re the first to ask when they put down the cardboard boxes outside your room. Unable to figure out by a mere glance, the first thing that comes to mind is that the Zen’in finally grew tired of your presence and decided to gather your things and kick you out—although by Naobito’s threat, you doubt that’s the reality…

Or maybe they’re transporting something and decided to take a small break, completely unrelated to why they were standing out your room.

… But they’ve been there for a while now… so that couldn’t be it either.

You’re back to the starting point, with a mystery that appeared to make less and less the longer they stared, keeping you and your staff at edge.

Eventually your group decides to walk towards the men, where one of them was seemingly dusting off a layer of dirt from the top of the box, with the intention of getting an explanation. 

Mariya had her doubts when watching them from afar, but now that they’re close she’s able to recognize one of them as none other than Tatsuro himself.

Knowing well to keep her relationship with him as neutral and unsuspecting as possible, Mariya throws the following inquiry into the air for whoever desired to respond.

“What is the meaning of these boxes?” Your prime lady-in-waiting asks, eyes darting from the box before them.

Tatsuro is the one that ends up responding either way.

“It’s a delivery for Lady Y/N”

Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi raise their eyebrows out of surprise—but you… your heart jumps out of excitement instead.

“Delivery?” you breathe “For… me?”

If so, this could mean that Hinata… that she finally responded?

You try to not show your elation… something that is easily achievable when remembering that your sister would never make her contact that obvious.

Had it been the case, you more likely than not would've heard of it from someone else first… if ever at all, since you were supposed to be under the harsh isolation.

So if not her… then who?

“From whom?” Mariya asks what’s troubling you. “Who signed it?”

“It doesn’t say” Tatsuro responds, his face lamenting he doesn’t have any more information, she tries to reassure him it’s fine. “All that we know is that it’s under her name, and that the post service delivered it to us a few hours ago, but we weren’t able to deliver it until right now” Tatsuro then turns to you “We first have to get clearance before delivering any packages to the recipients, it’s a measure imposed to ensure the safety of all members. I apologize for the tardiness if this was something urgent.”

“No, it’s fine” you say, gently shaking your head. “I… wasn’t even aware I was to get something.”

Haruko and Hitomi look at each other at the notion, before glancing at Mariya— curiosity and concern evident on their faces. 

Well, they could at least relax when it came to danger, assuming no threat was to come from the box since they passed the filters, but then… What exactly was inside the box?

“If there’s nothing more I can help you with, we’ll be going back to our posts” He says, and you nod, a gesture that serves as permission to do just that. 

Tatsuro rounds up the rest of his fellow coworkers, bowing to you, and giving Mariya a quick glance, before departing, leaving nothing but the elephant in the room and the overwhelming debacle of whether to acknowledge it or not.

“It’s truly under your name” Hitomi says once stepping closer to the box and getting a better look at the shipping label. “But it also doesn’t say who sent it—at least not directly.”

“What does it say?” Haruko asks, peeking over her sister’s shoulder.

“Something about… storage, no, warehouse. I think”

“It’s from a store more likely” Mariya explains.“Does the name sound familiar to you?”

It’s now your turn to look over to the shipping label, walking over to Hitomi and glancing over her shoulder—you’re hoping to recognize it, get to the bottom of it, but unfortunately it doesn’t ring any bells.

“No” you shake your head, disappointed. “…What… could this mean?”

“I don’t know” Mariya truthfully speaks, equally disappointed that she hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. “There’s no other way to know but to open it”

“Are you sure? What if it’s something that.. well, that I shouldn’t open?” you counter, and she presses her lips together.

“We won’t know either way if we don’t do it—besides, it’s under your name… if it wasn’t intended to be seen by you, then why send it?” Mariya explains, and it makes sense—thus after slight reluctance, you proceed accordingly.

Cue her, Haruko, Hitomi carefully picking up the surprisingly heavy boxes, a fact that made all the women dart their eyes at each other out of surprise and confusion, while you opened the door and allowed them inside.

Their size makes your already small room appear even tinier, but you reassure yourself by thinking it’s only for the time being. Who knows, maybe the things inside the box are intended to be stored somewhere else, naturally, allowing you to regain the robbed space.

Either way, once everything and everyone was inside, the decisive moment was amongst your midst.

“Which one shall I start with…?” you ask—as if the order mattered at this point— while taking a seat on your futon.

“Maybe with that one?” Hitomi suggests, pointing to the box right in front of you. It seemed the easiest route for something you didn’t want to deal with, so you concur.

“I just need something to cut—oh” you blink, surprised by Mariya’s swiftness when giving you a cutter, taken right out of her pocket. You’d seem to have forgotten that she always carried an assortment of tools on her… just in case, as she’d say. And it seems you were the only one that knew that, judging by Haruko’s and Hitomi’s intrigued faces. “Thank you”

“Don’t mention it” she says, taking a seat next to you, the sisters doing the same but on the opposite side.

With nothing else to say, you proceed to carefully take out the protective cap from the cutter —Mariya storing it away— and pressing the knife in between the flaps and against the tape, steady enough to cut through it, and effectively tearing it open.

Your hands then move to pry open the box, eager eyes landing on the sight of layers upon layers of bubble wrap—whatever was inside, it was fragile. A notion that does nothing to ease your or your staff’s rising interest, and if anything, urges you to act faster.

Removing the protective layers from the top, it’s then revealed that the box was carrying an extensive selection of… thin books? No, something else…

It’s here that the group's opinions heavily deviate from one another.

While your staff were nothing less than intrigued when it came to figuring out what they were, and who was the sender… your blood slowly began to run cold as your mind fearfully began to realize exactly what they were.

But your definite conclusion doesn’t come along until your trembling hands pluck out one of the many thin sleeves from the box, pulling it out completely, before your heart sinks to your stomach, flinching and instinctively throwing the item away while frantically stepping back from the box when your eyes eventually landed on the recognizable cover on it.

Your reaction, alongside the echoing noise of the object crashing against the wall makes your staff immediately jolt to your aid, concerned faces, and supportive hands on your back as they fret.

“What’s wrong? What happened, are you ok, Y/N?” Mariya asks but you can’t seem to muster an explanation before lunging over to the box to verify all of its contents.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?!” Haruko cries as she goes to pick up the item you throwed away—she glances at it, attempting to find something horrifying, dangerous, but unable to discover anything wrong.

Oh, but for you, that couldn’t be anything but wrong.

Why?

Because it had been nothing less than a vinyl, belonging to none other than to the Spice Girls.

The rest of the items inside the box were albums as well, ranging from studio albums, EP’s, live concerts, and even special editions exclusively released in other countries, pertaining to the Spice Girls, Dio, some of Michael Jackson, and even…. Super Junior.

All artists you mentioned the last time you spoke to Naoya.

You don’t know what to make out of this revelation, outside of the horror it engulfed you with, and the now false belief that this piece of your personal life was to remain in the past, alongside the embarrassment of the indulgence you’ve committed before him, never to be spoken of again.

But once again, you’re proven wrong when it comes to your expectations pertaining to him—no matter what you thought, what you wished, it was never bound to happen, evident by the unavoidable presence of the boxes, alongside the mysterious motive behind them.

“What are they?” Haruko asks as she takes another good look at them, Hitomi still trying to ease you down by gently caressing your back.

Their humble beginnings never gave them the opportunity to afford beyond the necessary, and by the time their interest for music began, cassettes (and eventually CDs) were in their way in, thus explaining their ignorance over the matter.

“Vinyl’s” Mariya says. “They’re… music albums, not really in circulation anymore, except for those that collect them”

“Albums?” Hitomi asks, finding the whole thing… confusing. If they were nothing more than simple music, then why did you react that way? “Who… did you—Did you buy them, Y/N?”

It’s a question they all knew had a negative answer, for you didn’t have the means to do so, but considering you hadn’t told them of what happened with Naoya the last time you were out, they had nowhere else to look.

You wished to avoid coming to this point, still suffering the shame of having disclosed something so personal to him, someone who clearly didn’t deserve this aspect of your intimacy—or any.

But now that the cat was out of the bag, as well as owing it to them to be truthful after everything they’ve done for you, you were influenced to speak.

“This—This is all related to the day I was out with Naoya”' You begin, and the women, as if they weren’t shocked enough by your reaction, freeze at his mention—with Hitomi’s face going sour while Haruko’s saddening. 

Mariya was unquestionably confused as irked by this acknowledgement, yet… a bit relieved that it hadn't been Naoaki the one behind these supposed “gifts”. 

Over and over again, your prime lady-in-waiting has declared that she’s not too fond of the relationship you had with him, only tolerating it because it seemed to bring the best of you; Nonetheless, she wasn’t appreciative of his gestures towards you because all they do is put you in a tight spot—and this would’ve done more than just that. 

Fortunately it didn’t, and it seems that she could relax if only for a moment.

«It’s the lesser of two evils» Mariya thinks, as if attempting to reassure herself. «But it doesn’t make me any less angry that it occurred through Naoya’s will»

“You don’t have to tell us.” Mariya, noticing the gloomy, slightly teary look in your eyes, interjects.

“No… I think—I think I need to tell you” You say, turning to see her “I’ve been holding on to this for a while now and I… I don’t think I can keep it any longer.”

“What… happened?” Hitom asks, your lip trembles.

“After we went to the doctor, he decided he wanted to go eat. He was insisting that I eat too, but I refused everything. I didn’t want anything from him. However, that didn’t stop him from saying he wanted to do more things, such as looking around the city” you pause, pressing your lips together, swallowing “...after walking for a bit, we eventually stopped at a record store; at that moment I didn’t know why, but after this… I—I’m now sure he noticed when I looked up to it. Anyways… we ended up going inside. Naoya left me alone for a moment, I don’t know why, and I just… started looking around. I eventually bumped into the albums I used to see a lot around my house. Guess I was too focused on them to notice when he came back, but he started asking me about them and I…. I don’t know why, but I ended up telling him how much they meant to me—hell, I even told him how my parents met because they liked music, and what I liked to hear!”

Sensing your distress, Mariya wraps her arms around your shoulders, as if to tell you that everything is alright. 

“You don’t know how regretful I’ve felt for doing that… for telling him that about my family… But I just… couldn’t stop myself—I wanted to… wanted to remember when my parents were still together, when my mom was still alive, when I was happy.” you eventually confess, pulling your hands up to your face and releasing out a wail.

As she tried to calm you down, Mariya was deep in disbelief. She couldn’t believe it— nor did she like where this was going — after weeks and weeks of making you suffer, he suddenly wants to be attentive with you? This had to be a joke.

There had to be another reason behind his actions — but what exactly?

“I didn’t think he’d remember” you sniveled. “He was very dismissive afterwards, like always, as if I were boring him!”

“And yet, here are the albums” Hitomi says, and you nod, tears falling down your cheeks.

Mariya has heard enough, enough to know exactly what to do—she just needed your permission.

“What do you want me to do with the boxes?” she asks.

“I don’t want to open the rest, and I don’t want to see them—I don’t care what you do, I don’t want them near my room.”

With that set, Mariya gestures over to Haruko and Hitomi who take less than a second to understand her silent command and get up to work.

“Go to the north wing of the estate, outside, and ask for Tatsuro” Mariya explains “He’s one of the staff members that delivered the boxes here. Tell him that you need to move them somewhere else—and tell him that I sent you, he’ll know exactly what to do.”

Hitomi and Haruko as they made their way to your door, but not before giving you a small reassurance smile as if trying to tell you they’ll handle it from this point forward, urgently heading to their new destination soon after.

Finally alone, with nothing more than the weight of your sorrow on your shoulders, and Mariya’s concern wrapped around you, you allow yourself to cry freely.

“Why—why is he doing this?” your voice cracks as you move deeper into Mariya’s embrace, she holds you tight. “Is he… is he trying to tease me?! Make fun of me?”

“I… don’t know” she answers truthfully—the always-knowing-Mariya is blank when it comes to him for the second time that day. She hates not having the answers for your sorrow, not being able to do much but give you a hug and let you cry. 

“Why does he always have to taint everything that is precious to me?!” you condemned “Why can’t he just leave me alone?! Why—why me?!? Of all people, why did it have to be me?!”

Mariya presses her lips together, attempting to keep her own tears at bay, while pulling you closer to her, as if trying to swallow your pain. 

“I just… I just want to be happy” you gasp “I want to go home; I want to be with my sister…. My brother…”

“I know, I know” she coos.

“… Guess I finally know what he was doing the second time he left.” you say “The thing he was shoving in his pocket, he probably bought the things right then and there.”

Mariya can’t say that your assumption didn’t go against what she initially thought of his gifts: that they were done in order to pull your attention back to him after you effectively ignored him once returning to the estate.

That wasn’t to be the case, however; Naoya had indeed bought the albums soon after the conversations ended. Just another layer of mystery added to your already troubled dilemma.

“What else happened after that?” she ponders carefully—Mariya knows you were already bottling lots of sentiments inside you, but she’d be damned if she allows you to carry even more burdens into your already heavy shoulders. 

“… We went to another store, a candy store. The one where I got the sweets for you guys. Said he wanted to go because he knew I liked them.”

“How… what?” Mariya asks, fear invading her voice at the prospect of Naoya finding out the depths of your relationship with Naoaki—

Having gone through these same steps yourself, you proceed to clarify the situation.

“It’s because of the wedding. Because I—I ate two slices of cake, apparently enough evidence for him to assume I liked sweets” you murmur “I also thought he’d figured out the situation with Naoaki, but he hasn’t… or if he has, he hasn’t told me”

“I don’t think he has.” Mariya concurred. “I made extra sure to keep things hidden from him.”

“… thank you.”

“don’t mention it” she says, giving you a smile.

“But it still doesn’t make sense.” you frown. “All of it, everything—Why would he do that if it wasn’t to make fun of me? To mock what they mean to me? I thought he would forget about it, like he always does when I speak to him, but somehow this was the exception!”

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore” she says “We’ll keep them away from you. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“… Do you think he’ll approach me to ask about them?”

Mariya wishes to say no, but that would only be lying to you.

“I think he will, eventually. Particularly after being informed you’ve received them. Although I’m more worried by the fact that he hasn’t already.” He’s kept a close watch on you days before your second visit to the doctor, but after that, he kept away. 

Why?

“…why can’t he just leave me alone?” you lament.

“Try not to think about it anymore” she soothes. “It’s being dealt with. The next time you come to your room those boxes are going to be gone, as if they were never here, and all that you’ll have to worry about is trying on Hitomi’s clothes”

“…I wish I could do more for all of you, for all the things you’ve done for me”

“Seeing you happy is enough for me”

“Then I’ve never been able to repay you”

“That’s not true… moments ago you were teasing me about Tatsuro!” she laughs, and her reaction makes you give her a weak smile. “I’m happy when you’re happy. Hitomi and Haruko too, they love to talk and spend time with you; there’s even moments where I have to reel them back into doing their job!

And don’t forget Mai and Maki too. They’re always looking for you whenever they can, even if their mother doesn’t want them to be that close to you. In fact, I dare to say that even Junko-san is getting to enjoy your company nowadays! That’s been more than enough payment if you ask me”

At her words, all you can do is sob.

“Oh, Y/N—”

“I’m—ah, I’m sorry you have to see me cry all the time!” you gasp, frantically wiping the tears out of your face “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I want to be happy for all of you too!”

“Take it easy, one day at a time” she smiles, squeezing you.  “We don’t have to do anything else for today if you don’t want to—you’ve already completed most of your chores anyways, we can just stay here and rest”

“What about the pending one?”

“Eh, I’m sure I can make something up” she shrugs, and you sniff before chuckling.

“Then I guess I want to do that” you respond. “And try out Hitomi’s clothes, maybe take a nap after that.” 

“I can arrange that.” Mariya grins. “Let’s wait for Tatsuro and the rest, I’m sure they’re already on their way here. And once that’s set I’ll get you something to drink so you can relax while you get ready for Hitomi”

And just as she said, footsteps were soon heard gathering outside your room, a quick knock on your door before it slid open, revealing the rest of your staff and Tatsuro’s entourage. 

Mariya peels away from you so as to help them get the boxes out of your chambers as soon as possible, but her boyfriend halts her, telling her that it was their job to do… to which Mariya reluctantly agrees, more so after Tatsuro’s teasing smirk (to which she responded by rolling her eyes), gestures that did not go unnoticed to Hitomi, who has yet to place the pieces together, but is moving dangerously close to doing so the longer she ponders at them.

After the group quickly retrieved the boxes, they made way towards an unaccounted chamber, —the same one your yellow kimono from the first time you went to the doctor (the one you couldn’t even dare look at due to it’s painful significance) was stored in— and placed them there, never to be seen again.

The rest of your day proceeds accordingly, with you fitting on Hitomi’s newest kimono, which fits perfectly on you, a testament of her incredible skill, outside of a few small details to be fixed here and there—things she could easily handle—while Haruko shared with you all of the snacks she had stolen from the kitchen; apparently there were many new fresh ingredients delivered that morning, and she wanted to be the first one to try them all out.

Mariya would come back with tea that she assured would help you relax, easen a bit and enjoy this moment… Yet, her efforts alongside those of your staff would be for naught, for as much as you wanted to think of anything else but what had transpired, your mind kept pulling you back to the shocking sight of the albums before you, and how to overcome this obstacle.

You considered rushing to seek Naoaki out and tell him what happened, but you’d either miss him for he’s already on his way to work, or distract him from his responsibilities…

And you didn’t want to bother your ladies anymore than you already have… crying and lamenting yourself had become quite embarrassing for you, even though there were days that was all you could do…

Well, whatever your entangled sentiments held, there was one thing that remained persistent, and that was Naoya’s presence in your mind:

The moment you’d encounter him again, the excuse you’ll have for when it happens, and most of all, the intentions behind those gifts.

[ladytanithia]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by @thequeenofthewinter

Trigger warning: prelude to SA, nothing terribly graphic.

Future chapter of The Best-Laid Plans Oft Go Awry.

tagging @dirty-bosmer @skyrim-forever @gwilin-stay-winnin @mareenavee @thechaosdragoness @thana-topsy

“My jarl, I’ve helped your people as you asked,” Miranja told Siddgeir with a respectful bow.

“Yes, about that thane title…” Siddgeir said, eyeing her shrewdly. “There are some things you must know about this position that would be better discussed in private.”

Miranja’s hackles rose. So far, no other jarl had indicated there was anything secretive about the position she’d been granted. This didn’t feel right. Nonetheless, ignoring the voice of alarm in her head, she followed Siddgeir when he rose and went to his private chamber, figuring she could defend herself against one man if it came to that.

Once the door was closed, Siddgeir got right to the point. He drew very close to her but refrained from touching her. “Before I give you the pleasure of becoming a thane in my court, I’d like for you to give me some pleasure. Understand?” He reached up and lightly toyed with the lock of hair that had loosened at her temple.

Oh, she understood, all right. What an ass! “Jarl Siddgeir, I don’t know what kind of woman you think I am, but I don’t use sex to get special treatment. My work for you throughout the hold should speak for itself. If you think I’m going to sleep with you to become a thane, then you’re sadly mistaken, and you can shove your thane position straight up your ass.”

He actually seemed to be amused and aroused by her defiance. “Sweetheart,” he said condescendingly, “your reputation as a crimefighting sellsword isn’t the only reputation that’s followed you here. Now, if you want to keep that choice piece of land I gave you, then you’ll return the favor with a choice piece of ass. Call it an agreement between friends.”

Miranja was too stunned by his audacity to know how to respond. She really wanted to keep that land – aside from Proudspire, it was her favorite property. Plus, she was concerned about who in Oblivion might have told him about her sexual activities and who else might be in the know. Or was he bluffing?

Before she could respond, he spoke again. “If you want to play hard-to-get for a little excitement, I think I can play along.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and balled it up in his fist. In the couple of seconds it took her to realize what he planned to do with the handkerchief, he had grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them tightly together in one hand, then grabbed her head with the hand holding the handkerchief and pulled her toward him.

Gods, why was she always so slow to think to use her Shouts?

He kissed her forcefully, pushing his tongue into her mouth, exploring, then he withdrew and stuffed the handkerchief into her mouth before she could use a Shout against him. And why didn’t she take the opportunity to bite his gods-damned tongue off? Was she afraid of punishment? Or did she…

[crescencestudio]

Hello again!

I’m so glad you feel that way because it’s all true and I feel like you should know just how much it meant and impacted me, something you guys made is that amazing!<3

That's so freakin cool! I love when I hear people talk about how their dreams inspire their work!! I don’t why because it adds a level of magic to it, I don’t know if that's corny but it feels that way to me lol.

Talk about crazy! I had a similar dream too!! Not the content but the feeling after one, a long ago as well. Like for me there was this white haired mage dude showing off their powers and after waking up I was in tears asking where he was even though I knew it was a dream!

And I’ve been wanting to make a vn for years but couldn’t think what to write but then I slotted this dream with another one of mine and BOOM everything fell into place.

So hearing you say you did something similar makes me think it’s the right choice, and I’m not being silly, cause it was something I was worried about lol.

But thank you! I would really appreciate it, I love what we got but can’t deny how enticing it would be getting more!

In the meantime I am now going through your other games, and becoming a patron tomorrow x333

Sorry I get chatty when I’m excited

hi!!’ dont apologize for being chatty! no one is as chatty as me. plus we love to talk in this house so 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

i feel the same way about dreams something about them is so mysterious and magical/romantic :’) i feel like a lot of amazing creative works have been inspired by dreams haha! not silly at all to use them as creative feed—everyone draws from different things to inspire their work <3

if you ever get around to releasing that vn i would love to check it out!! i’m losing track of where i’m leaving my comments but i think intertwine leaves a lot of room for imagination and additional content, what with the multiple lives. the possibilities r endless so if i ever return to intertwine, even if for a short dlc of small stories, i’m sure it would be fun! it’s not a priority right now just bc i need to return to my main child alaris, but the future is always open for more intertwine we never know ^^

THANK U FOR THE ADDITIONAL SUPPORT!!! it already means a lot to see you like intertwine but for u to also check out alaris and sub to my patreon 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖 i will say alaris is very different from intertwine. i’m also working on releasing a revamped version of alaris so if i’m being honest i kinda discourage ppl from downloading the current build since i like the enhanced version i’m working on rn so much more 🤠 but if u end up playing i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!