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pruning-the-minds-garden · 2 years

Text

NeuroPlex

On Tumblr as NeuroPlex

(AKA NeuralNets, NeuralNetsAndPrettyPatterns, NNPP, BimboVirus and others)

There are a number of accounts against him over the years, some of which have been retracted or disappeared due to harassment or fatigue on the part of the people who did the accusing. In one case I was aware of there was an accusation which was false(I won't include that one), but so far as I know that is not the norm. It might also not be the norm of people who interact with him that they wind up abused (he has his fair share of defenders, so I can only assume that his Yelp rating would be at least 3.5 stars on balance), so yeah if you join his server then maybe there's only a 5% chance you'll wind up being abused by him. But, y'know, that means Phi Delta's really a fine upstanding fraternity with no problems doesn't it? Anyway.

First, Strike Thanatos. This is an account from a person who was a mod on NNPPs Discord server and later left. There are accusations of abuse of power, witch hunts, and other forms of predatory and vindictive behavior in there. Go read it for yourself.

That leads us to (and is mentioned inside of)The Magenta Dream Domme Challenge. To say that this was a file with some problems is to say that the choice of gases used on the Hindenberg was somewhat hasty and ill thought-out. It's not that it wasn't effective for what it was; it's that it was designed in a predatory and unethical way. Given that NNPP has been doing this for years and this fits his general pattern and character of behavior, this isn't an accident. That people got as mad about it as they did - necessitating his making changes - is indicative of the fact that this wasn't a one-off thing. We all make mistakes. This wasn't a mistake. It was a failure, the product of a broken system of content creation (i.e. a fundamentally flawed creator).

Now, things did not end with Feather and Magenta Dream Domme and all that. I wish they did. This is also where it gets less sourced, but not because I don't have sources. If you choose not to believe me because I'm not linking them or they aren't talking, okay, but as I describe what happened I think you'll understand.

Since all that went down, NNPP has tried to pursue legal action against at least one member (or group of members acting collectively) of the community, disrupt their business, doxx them, and generally made a huge ass of himself (that last being my opinion) over being disinvited/banned from a hypnocon. Whenever I bring up his name at all, on any level, at least one and usually three of four people come forward to me privately with stories of abuse or mistreatment or consent violations and ask that I not share them for fear of reprisal. Now, I am 10,000% certain that if he himself walks into a room and starts talking then he will never hear those stories, but we all know why that is don't we? Like, don't we? It's not a mystery.

And, even saying all this, I don't think he's a mustache-twirling villain. He is not Emperor (Side note: The Emperor's actual first name is Sheev? Who wrote that?!?) Palpatine. Irresponsible? Yes, sometimes. A person who lets a little power go to his head? Yes. Someone who gets incredibly defensive when challenged on even the smallest thing? Yes. Those are not uncommon flaws, even taken together. However, when in combination and when combined with a position of power and authority, they can become incredibly toxic.

Is he a bad person? I don't know, I can't see into his heart. But, I do think he - and take it from someone who is going to therapy right now - could greatly benefit from some therapy, to talk through some things.

Finally, there's my personal stake in this. It is last because it is honestly the smallest and least important element in this, but I would be remiss to not include it because it establishes any personal bias I might have. This is a Tumblr messenger interaction between NNPP and I. I have since deleted the blog on which this interaction took place, so you will have to accept this copypasta for what it is.

Now, lets say that this was a case of bad timing. This long, annoying Tumblr chew-out of a conversation about nothing, which frustrated the hell out of me and soured any relationship that I might have ever had with him, came on a day that was otherwise (for personal reasons I won't disclose) one of the happiest and best of my life. Does that alter the lens through which I view everything else? Probably. Does that make me an unfit person to say these things? I don't think it does. I don't like him, but there are a lot of people I don't like who I nevertheless don't go out of my way to accuse of things. I boost the accusations of others because they are credible and important, not because I have a personal stake or animosity. But, I don't think it would be right to not mention my own personal animosity. So, here's the conversation in its entirety, presented behind a Read More for your sake (it's long and mostly pointless) -

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Primarily original MC content. Very few reblogs. Anonymous… Not following each other [Ed. note: Not following him now, though I was at the time this conversation happened.] 12/27/2017 neuralnetsandprettypatterns I scrolled through your page. There are at least two obvious unattributed rips. Why are you consistently hassling me for modified stuff?

pruningthemindsgarden Feel free to comment on those and I’ll fix them.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Yeah that doesn’t really answer the question though? Like why are you patrolling my stuff specifically?

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I’m interested in resolving that instead of just being a content cop and starting *more* fights

pruningthemindsgarden I’m not. If it seems like I am then that’s a coincidence. There are two pages that I DO specifically look for because they do basically 100% unattributed reposts of hypnokink artists, but you aren’t one of them.

pruningthemindsgarden when I see it I comment on it, because this is a niche community. Porn in general makes a whole lot more money and has a substantially larger audience than hypnosis/mind control porn.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Which pages?

pruningthemindsgarden hypno-control and tumbling4u2

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Well in st least two cases - Stephanie Michelle and Entranced - you criticized me for approved stuff. And the stuff i do is all remixed - it’s regenerated images through a set of mods What about coverthypnotism

pruningthemindsgarden I don’t have any special knowledge about them. If they do that I simply haven’t noticed it. If it was approved, great :)

neuralnetsandprettypatterns But I’m telling you now

pruningthemindsgarden yep, you are

neuralnetsandprettypatterns And you aren’t looking which implies to me that you’re a bit selective

pruningthemindsgarden I can’t control the implications things you think I am or am not doing have in your mind.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns This is why people lose patience with hall monitors

pruningthemindsgarden that’s quite likely, yes

neuralnetsandprettypatterns When it’s pointed out that they’re being selective, they just presume speaking bureaucratically is a shield Are you British?

pruningthemindsgarden *laughs* you’re asking leading questions because you are mad and have already decided that you want to try to paint me a particular way. I can’t control what you want to see from my actions or not, and I’m not perfect, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do the best I can to do the best I can. as far as not going through coverthypnotism’s page, I don’t routinely do that. I comment on things that cross my feed. I can tell you I’ll be on the lookout now that you’ve mentioned it, though.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I’m really not mad - maybe more hard eye rolly?

pruningthemindsgarden sexy. :P (yes, that was a joke)

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I expect to have a certain number of haters. I’m interested in resolving the underlying conflict. It’s hard to do that when you’re speaking bureaucrat. I speak bureaucrat but it’s generally just a way to lie, so it doesn’t appeal as a method of conflict resolution. It’s a language of power in courtrooms and HR departments, not conflict resolution.

pruningthemindsgarden you began this conversation in an adversarial mode.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I ask if you’re British because you’re adopting idiosyncratic British expressions - which Americans do when they’re trying to sound frustratingly stuffy. So I wondered.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Yup. Because i think there’s an underlying animosity and if I just pointed out the inconsistency, I presumed it’d be a purely bureaucratic response - since you’ve already positioned yourself as a neutral arbitrer of rules.

pruningthemindsgarden Funny, no one told me I had positioned myself thusly.

pruningthemindsgarden and, if by not replying to comments meant to bait me is what you call bureaucratic, well, guilty as charged.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns No - that’s not what I mean. I mean that you’re speaking bureaucratically - not based on what you ignore, but the words you’re saying. I could break it down line by line, but that’s besides the point.

pruningthemindsgarden fair enough

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I’m saying - if you have an underlying animosity, you can say it and maybe get it resolved. If you say that this is a neutral exercise, you can and I can’t stop you, but I’m skeptical and your inner witness to your own performance is a bit skeptical too.

pruningthemindsgarden *laughs* don’t do that.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Thusly mode particular way quite simply substantially feel free Don’t do what?

pruningthemindsgarden making implicit statements about my feelings or what my subconscious thinks I am or am not doing.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Don’t know a thing about your subconscious. I’m reading your words.

pruningthemindsgarden now, as for my feelings, well yes they are somewhat complicated. If anything that causes me to mostly avoid your stuff, though, because that complexity isn’t your fault, not really, and I prefer to avoid acting on confirmation bias.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns That above statement doesn’t say enough for me to decipher it *without* inference You told me to avoid inference so my only available answer is “come again?”

pruningthemindsgarden In short - your content bothers me sometimes, so I avoid it. The complexity is me trying to internally unpack why and when and what is the basis of that distaste.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Yeah that is odd, because honestly I do quite a bit to disentangle the questions of autonomy and choice that might trouble you - up to and including being the only person actively pushing back against the alt right infusion. I see that as a bit more important, which is why I police Nazis instead of copyright but everyone has the hill they’ll die on I guess?

pruningthemindsgarden I suppose most people do, though I do far more than comment on the things you post. It’d be best if you didn’t assume this was mine.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I’m interested in the animosity - past the vagaries.

pruningthemindsgarden There isn’t animosity.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns “Complex feeling of distaste confirmation bias” So I’m interested in the cfodcb

pruningthemindsgarden yes, I did say those things. Those aren’t the same thing as animosity.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Np one’s just tough to type

pruningthemindsgarden well, they mean different things. My feelings largely stem from you use of (at least what I have perceived as) misogyny kink. Do I need to define that for you? It’s something I’ve talked about a few times but I don’t know how widely used or transparent it is.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns your feelings about that, based on your feed, are…ambivalent

pruningthemindsgarden yes, they are

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Like half the stuff you post is male dominant fem submissive brainwashing - but I think what you’re saying is that the stuff that plays with cultural tropes makes you feel conflicted Like housewifery and sandwich making Is that in the ballpark?

pruningthemindsgarden like I said, if you need me to define what I mean by that term I can.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I’m actually curious, not arguing. I’m trying to suss out what about me specifically inspires this reactive policing. What it is that you’re reall trying to police.

pruningthemindsgarden but yes, things like that are at least sometimes in the ballpark. The part where it starts to bother me is not simply the idea of women in Stepford-esque roles. it’s when there is an implication that women in general should be in those roles. and no, I’m not “really” trying to police anything like I said, my reaction to that is to avoid most of your stuff

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I don’t see you policing the dozens of hardcore misogyny blogs though?

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I mean, you can again presume that you’re policing this content because of entirely neutral rules based systems. That’s illusory, but I’m not going to separate anyone from their illusions. My question is - is there anything that distinguishes my content from the swath of other content saying the same thing? I’ve never seen you interact with your natural state for instance. I’d thought it apparent that i don’t believe that and find it thrillingly taboo because i exist in and support an environment that’s quite the opposite!

pruningthemindsgarden I don’t follow YNS, and have spoken against those ideas rather frequently in the past. and, yes, from talking to other people I do know that you do not really feel that way. Again, you are making a core assumption that I am going out of my way to “police” you. That’s simply not the case.

pruningthemindsgarden I saw something, I said something. That’s how it works with everyone.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Yes, I know, it’s entirely neutral. A commitment to comity.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns You don’t follow me, I presume. I am interested in ways that my content might be especially troubling. But it’s just any misogyny - yeah sure - kinda boring but no problem.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I felt there was a more interesting or nuanced bit in there.

pruningthemindsgarden sorry to bore you, I suppose 12/28/2017

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169041643437/themistresslove-assnosis-is-real-just-try-to-not

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169038957137/jukeboxemcsa-its-so-silly-that-when-most-people

pruningthemindsgarden the first is linked from Mistress LOVE’s Tumblr, so I don’t see your point.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns It’s an unattributed rip

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169038806497/convoluted-moonscape-rae-being-naughty

pruningthemindsgarden and if you have a source for the second, I’ll amend my reblog. I did a quick Google search for it and couldn’t find anything other than reposts and aggregators.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169037070332/hypsan-i-love-snapping-my-fingers-and-making-her Unattributed and offensively bad production value http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169027155402/themistresslove-the-bimbo-bubbles-in-your-mind

pruningthemindsgarden the third one doesn

pruningthemindsgarden the third one doesn’t have any meaningful Google hits for it. The source of the reblog itself might be able to give more insight, but I can’t find any.

pruningthemindsgarden the fourth is the same as the first.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169017512012/jukeboxemcsa-complacent-the-word-rested-in If ripping content is bad who cares that you can’t find it

pruningthemindsgarden but, if you like and have sources for any of those, I’ll add them.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns All jukebox visuals are unattributed rips So…. if you can find the sources you police them but if you can’t you don’t? Wut

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Ripped and unattributed http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169013773962/thesuccubuslair-no-reason-to-be-shy-ladies

pruningthemindsgarden because those are transformative. I objected to yours because you were taking hypno porn and making hypno porn of it. That’s not fair use. but as I also noted, if you have permission for that I’ll happily rescind my statement

neuralnetsandprettypatterns So someone slaps hypno captions on other porn and fair use Ripped http://pruningthemindsgarden.tumblr.com/post/169013479052/spiralstaring-thecrimsoncommander That’s not how fair use works

pruningthemindsgarden https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gish_Gallop

neuralnetsandprettypatterns That’s you trying to neg someone’s blog cause it squicks you

pruningthemindsgarden no, it’s not.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns It’s obviously made up. No ones trying to overwhelm you. *literally everything you reblog* is a rip Ok not literally but like almost everything. Over half And this incredibly contrived distinction isn’t fooling anyone. You’re just gunning for some blogs

neuralnetsandprettypatterns You could just as easily say that my substantial graphic modifications are “fair use” and jukebox unauthorized reproduction aren’t.

pruningthemindsgarden Yes, that you feel that way is abundantly clear.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Saying “abundantly” doesn’t intimidate anyone. Is there anyone - anywhere - who supports your extremely idiosyncratic fair use doctrine?

pruningthemindsgarden you think I was trying to intimidate you with that word choice? yes

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Please show me! I think you were trying to sound snooty because you do that. I am fascinated by the “reproduction must be across genre lines”

pruningthemindsgarden https://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/fair-use/four-factors/

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Fair use doctrine Yeah I’m familiar and that’s irrelevant.

pruningthemindsgarden that is a rephrasing of the market replacement element of fair use doctrine

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Bahahahaha That has never ever been used in a court ahahahhaha did you just read it on Wikipedia or are you a creative IPR lawyer Now I’ve gone from annoyed to actually impressed. Like that’s never ever ever been used as such in a court but your ready citation of it is *kisses fingers chef style* You’re a trip Im impressed

pruningthemindsgarden I don’t see how that’s relevant.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns You don’t see why precedent in litigation is how IPR doctrine is generally fleshed out?

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Ok are you an IPR lawyer who is trolling or a smart kid looking at wikipedia bahahahaha

pruningthemindsgarden I’m neither.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns The way it actually works is that litigation matters a lot more than statues cause it’s super hard to craft statues that are actually consistent It’s amaze balls that you had a ready citation for the four factor test but that it was so wrong Are you just an IPR hobbyist? *statutes IPR would be impossible under a real Napoleanic system

neuralnetsandprettypatterns It’s a common law construct. Either way, your devotion to playing a lawyer is awesome. Is there anything i can do for you to credit it? You’re the king of Internet Law and I wanna surrender

pruningthemindsgarden add a source citation, ideally a link to the material. for instance, the GIFs that started this conversation came from “Encore, Encore” by Daphne’s Fantasies. A link to that would help, I’m sure, directing people to that content if they are curious how to get it.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Can i give you a trophy too though? I think they came from primal Do u have a link?

pruningthemindsgarden no, just that’s fine. If they came from a different video then yeah a link to that is fine. https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/59203/17703302/Encore%2C+Encore%21+Part+1

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Wait Some of *their* content is ripped Ahahahhahahaa

neuralnetsandprettypatterns And they’re charging for it (which is really relevant in actual law, i dunno if it matters in cyber law)

pruningthemindsgarden they are the same studio as MC Theater, if that’s what you’re coinfused by.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Can you change your name to “the cyber police” No that’s not what I’m confused by

pruningthemindsgarden ah

neuralnetsandprettypatterns I mean there’s actual ripped content there

pruningthemindsgarden and no, I’d rather not

neuralnetsandprettypatterns Should i report it? It might shut them down

pruningthemindsgarden I’m sure of you contact them about that, should you be concerned, you can resolve that.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns So… why do you talk like that?

pruningthemindsgarden the same reason you talk the way you do, I’m sure.

neuralnetsandprettypatterns uhhhh

#hypnokink #hypnokink community #safety

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mmikmmik2 · 3 years

Note

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

#infinity train #infinity train spoilers #protagonists of IT #Anonymous

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magnetothehedgehog · 4 years

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Dabi's Decision (Warning spoilers!)

To start off again, spoilers for bnha so don't read if you don't wanna be spoiled for future anime/manga stuff

Oml I'm literally CRYING over this Dabi reveal rewrite I was thinking about recently

The Shoto Family Crisis is something that really hits home for me as I have personaly experience dealing with those type of people (cough cough ENDEAVOR COUGH)

But first I gotta talk about whats actually happening before my idea

But as much respect as I had for Dabi as a villain character and even for the first few moments as Todoroki's brother, from what I have seen from a translation of the reveal here on tumblr I was really disappointed. Like yes It could just have been the translation since i haven't seen all of the offical thing, but I getthe feeling thats not the case.

All that respect for Dabi goes away when he made his argument. He basically said "Dad was mean to me so I killed off a bunch of random innocent people who have done me no wrong for no good reason but LOOK *points at endeavor* he drove me to this. He made me do it."

Like somebody near him is gonna comedically slap him and say "Bad endeavor! >:cc"

This isn't to downplay Touya's trauma, it was real and probably the harshest since he was the first experiment and also considered the first failure. He ended up so ghosted that his own family thought he was dead.

But when he hurts other innocent people for his own goals JUST like his father did, not only is he ending up just like him, he is playing right into his hands. Endeavor wants someone to surpass him, someone to pass down his legacy of strength and ruthlessness, however it happens. Actually its quite the norm for toxic people to try and pass on their behaviors, try to clone themselves on the next generation.

Even with endeavors supposed redemption arc, the effects his decisions have on the past don't change, as this event was supposed to help solidify.

Honestly its the worst way to get back at Endeavour and you just end up being just like the abuser. Why is it such a common trope that "if I was abused by someone, Let me go do the same thing to someone else who literally has never tried to hurt me in my life?" Notice how they never target the abuser, they just seek to abuse someone else, thus continuing the cycle. The stupidest part of Touya's argument is that he is trying to make it seem like its endeavor who made him choose these actions.

But thats the thing. It was STILL Touya's choice to make. And yeah it sucks, often times an abuser will use this fact to their advantage, but when it comes down to it, Touya made the choice to do wrong. It's not like endeavor said "Yo kill these 5 people with your fire power to prove your worth or I burn your skull yeah?"

He made the choice to hurt multiple people who had hope and a future like he once did.

He made a choice that led to him becomong the next abuser, and becoming as delusional as the person who abused him.

But lets say things go different from how its currently going down in the Manga. Here'ss my idea: where it takes place I could care less but lets use the same place the canon did, the theater

But imagine Dabi reveals himself to Endeavor, the crowd and Todoroki and reveals who he is, Touya. He then goes on to revealing Endeavors little experiment and how he used all his family just to live out his dream of surpassing the symbol of peace and having someone stronger than him so he could live vicariously through him.

Dabi goes on to explain as he was considered "a failure" he was cast aside and ghosted, and left distant from his other siblings Endeavour didn't want to be effected by Touya the failure.

Dabi explains how he knew no-one would listen or care about some kids who were being used and no-one would dare challenge or try to smear the reputation of the second greatest hero, so Endeavor was basically untouchable. So Dabi devised a plan

Dabi explains that by becoming a villain, he was able to train unhindered by rules and regulations that hold heroes back and the keep them from exercising their power to the fullest. He explains how he only used his flames to burn those deserving (actual crooks, slavers, other abusers maybe, looking at you overhaul) and how by having less concern for his own well being he could push past his limits.

Even though his Flesh itself burned his power grew until now it was something that could rival/surpass allmight's. Dabi then displays immense amount of power for the world to see, nearly burning up an entire mountain or something to ash. And he eas able to do this all with just 1 quirk. FIRE. For a failure he managed to do the one thing Endeavor always wanted. Be stronger than Almight, and he did it with just.FIRE.

He mocks endeavor. Look at you. Always wanted to ve number 1 but never could. Even now you are stuck in second place in your own heart. But Look now, your failure has achieved your dream. Maybe if you had shown the world the villain you showed your family you could have been number one.

"Look! Gaze upon your Son! See as the Fire chars my very Flesh!?This is it! THIS IS WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED! GAZE UPON THE WORLDS NUMBER 1!"

now that in itself is a heartbreaker and would be were maybe another fic writer would stop, but oh no, ya'll still got tears to cry so get ready

Todoroki is in shock now the only words he can make out is "Touya..."

And thats when Touya turns his attention to Todoroki "ahh...my dear Todoroki."

Touya then goes on to explain how this plan he devised was not for himself, but rather, for Todoroki and the rest of his family. He wanted the world to see endeavor for who he was and what he is, so that hopefully, his siblings could have a better future.

Touya goes on about how proud he is of Todoroki for showing how strong he was and that even though he came from people constantly making wrong decisions, he could make a right decision. Even going so far as to reject his own flames at one point.

Touya then goes into a heartfelt speech, and Tells Todoroki

"Listen. I could never tell you to join me or go down the road I took. I would never do that. The Path I took was to build the bridge to Your better tomorrow. I want you to be the best hero you can be."

"I don't want you to be the next symbol of peace or the next Allmight. I want you to live for yourself, be what you WANT to be. Because even though he may have robbed me of my future, your future is something he can never have. "

Omg 😢😭😭😭

Touya you deserved so much moreee

But thats the point.

He did, they all did. And thats what this version of Touya was trying to tell the world. Nobody knows how hard it was, the pain and suffering it took. The stress of Todoroki's body to only reject a quirk probably heavily tied to his emotions and half his whole body, but also the stress it caused from not using it, his father breathing on his neck at every waking moment trying to force him to use it.

And thats just the tip of the iceberg. Getting misinterpreted because he's so focused on defeating the real evil in his life.

Man Todoroki gets so shorthanded in both life and in writing by the author it hurts my soul. I know he has so much potential but he gets dragged down or down played by every little things, especially he who shall not be nam- BAKUGO ITS BAKUGO GAHHH

Ahem. I think I was overtaken for a single moment. Pardon me~☆

But nah none of this toddler "he made me do itttt." Angwy points 3:<

And none of that "Oh Todoroki you have forsaken meeee."

Like for real if anybody aughta know endeavor probably made up some crap lie about him Touya should, thats all that man do, I already KNOW.

And before anybody says you're being too hard on them this is why nobody wants to do redemption

Its called redemption for a reason, first off it ain't supposed to be easy befitting the cause. Second, fake or flakey redemption is the pitts and there is too much of it being sugarcoated and presented on a Platter thank youuu

Only gonna throw one more jab in here but

The Author literally told us how horrible Bakugo is by showing us he had to have amnesia and not receive one for all from the movie or he woulda kept it. They coulda had him give it back to deku, even if it was just an ego thing for him and I, who have not had a reason to respect him in the whole series, would have actually respected that and taken it as a clear sign of change.

But no. Amnesia cop out cowabunga it was.

Okay I think I got this outta my system thanks everyone.

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delicioussshame · 7 years

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WIPS. I have so many AoKuro wips I haven’t touched in months/years I keep wanting to finish. So, have some of that. Note that this list doesn’t include the fic I’m actually working on.

First, I have a trope bingo card I keep wanting to work on.

forbidden fruit : where Momoi has a crush on Tetsu and Aomine wants to respect that.

power dynamics : where Kuroko is the sole alpha in an omega team and tries to deal with all that ego (and sexual offers).

rivals to lovers : the one where their reunion is way, way less friendly.

role reversal : the one where Aomine is the one that sucks at basket.

au: alternate gender norms : the one where basket is a women’s sport and thus is looked down on, because of course it would be.

au: romance novel : the one where bookworm and total nobody Kuroko has to work on a project with incredibly hot Aomine, star of the basketball team.

Indecent proposal : the one where NBA star Aomine pays Kuroko for sex. For all the good reasons, somehow. Actually not a total AU.

It’s a full card (25 tropes) so most of them aren’t even listed here. The most I have written for this is this prologue to number 7.

He watches the date moving forward each day. Sometimes he can't wait. Sometimes he thinks the dread will swallow him alive.

He tells himself he can't possibly do this. Not to his best friend, his shadow, the one person he cares most about.

But, he tells himself, Tetsu needs the money. His family has been struggling to afford his grandmother's treatment. They can't support that and Tetsu's higher education fees. Tetsu's been working himself ragged trying to work on his thesis and earn enough for both.

Daiki would gladly give him all the cash he needs. God knows that as a NBA hotshot, he's swimming in the stuff. It's just that he doesn't even have to offer to know Tetsu would never take it. He's way too proud to accept his charity.

It's while he was angsting pondering about how knowing you could help the one you love but you can't that he had the idea. Tetsu wouldn't want to owe him anything, right? So what if, instead of giving him what he needs, he paid him? Daiki gets what he wants, i.e. Tetsu, and Tetsu can have all the money he could wish for and get his life on track. Good idea, right?

All he has to do is tell Tetsu that. No big deal.

Yeah, right.

I also have this which was a postal stamp for a Trope Bingo card I ended up never doing. A postal stamp is four tropes placed in a square on your card. My tropes were accidental hero, fork in the road, trust and vows and uniform kink.

"You saved his life" they say, and "Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't been there" and "He's alive, that's all that matters". The well wishing and praises of Aomine-kun's family fly over him like so much wind, barely entering his mind, still too disturbed by the image of the broken body bleeding on the pavement of the dark, empty street. That's not all that matters. Aomine-kun might as well be dead. "I'll come every day" he'd told the unresponsive but aware body lying on the hospital bed, his eyes as dead as Aomine-kun's legs. It's been two weeks.

The first draft of the Vampire AU sequel which I dropped when I realised most university students in Japan don’t live in dorms.

Takashi isn't prejudiced. Like, at all. He looooves the ladies, but hey, if his roommate doens't, that just means more for him.

Anyway, he doesn't swing that way, but even he can acknowledge Kuroko is always surrounded by an army of hot guys. Who knew basket brought all the boys to the yard? He plays baseball, so not him. It's shaved heads all the way for him. There's even an actual model in that bunch. (Keiko had him ask for an autograph when she found it. Most embarrassing moment of his life. So far.)

So. The first time he spots some tall guy sneaking into Kuroko's room in the middle of the night, he goes "Go get him tiger" and leave it at that. Or he would have if the guy hadn't left only a few minutes later. That must have been a hell of a quickie.

When he tells Kuroko his boyfriend doesn't have to sneak him at night, he can just spend the whole night here and do a better job at pleasing his boyfriend, and doesn't he trust him not to tattle to the dorm head? Kuroko blushes bright red and tells him that wasn't his boyfriend.

Wow. 2 A.M. booty call? Takashi is impressed. The girls he knows would kill him if he tried that. Maybe guys is where it's at for that kind of thing. That really proves you can't trust appearances. Kuroko is always so mild and polite. Maybe he's a freak in the sheets and there was a gag involved, that's why they were so silent.

From a tumblr prompt list, something similar to: meeting someone you know in an elevator and talking about how hot a third person in said elevator is because you think they don’t speak your language. Twist: they do.

Can this fucking elevator get down here already? It’s the only thing separating Daiki from his bed, and after having dealt with the coach screaming at him all practice long, he can’t want to be reunited with it again.

He hears the familiar ping. Finally. He doesn’t care if the elevator is full and he has to shove the old lady from the 505 into the wall to get in, he’s definitely taking it.

The doors open to reveal Kagami and some guy Daiki has never seen speaking in Japanese. They stop talking when Kagami notice him. “Hey, Aomine. This is Kuroko, you know, that guy I knew from Seirin? He just moved here.”

“Hello.” So that explains the Japanese. He’s probably not that good with English yet.

“Hi.” Daiki takes a second look. “Your boyfriend? He’s cute.” Who knows what Kagami’s type is. He got this super hot blond chick as a teacher and he doesn’t even care, so maybe he’s just gay.

The guy doesn’t react to his comment while Kagami flusters, so Daiki figures his guess was right and the guy speaks no English.

And finally, the sequel to the future fic I wrote where Kuroko and Aomine haven’t met since middle school. In which Kuroko’s students are wondering what’s up with him.

"I swear I'm not lying!"

Kaandra drops all her books on the desk at once, the thudding sound acting as punctuation to her exasperated arm movements. "Do you honestly think I'm this stupid? I wouldn't have gotten this far if I was."

Alessandro flinches, as if her words afflicted a deadly wound. "Why do you never trust me! What did I ever do to you?!" He can't keep the outrage off his face.

Mark wishes they'd get over themselves and fuck already. "What are you two arguing about today."

"That idiot says he saw Professor Kuroko smile."

"Yeah, right." Professor Kuroko's poker face is legendary, just like Professor Williams' inability to hold a lecture without dozing off at least once or Professor Lopez's TA's fabulous ass. Seriously, people sneak into her never-ending lectures on the evolution of the architecture of churches in pre-revolution America just to see that man's glorious backside. Mark did it once. It was totally worth it.

“He did! I swear! Why would I even lie about this.”

That’s actually a good point. He has nothing to gain by doing that. Not that Kaandra seems impressed. “Okay, let’s say we believe you. Why was he smiling?” Maybe there’s some juicy gossip to be gained here.

Alessandro shakes his head. “I don’t know, he was just checking his phone. Is the professor married? Maybe he was talking to his wife.”

Kaandra snorts. “No.”

“How do you even know that? Maybe he just doesn’t wear a ring.”

“Maddison asked.”

Mark winces. Maddison and her unhealthy interested in her professors. “Yes, if he told her he wasn’t, then he isn’t.” Professor Kuroko wouldn’t give her ammunition if it wasn’t true.

“Is he single?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Damn it. Now Mark is curious! Who knows, maybe the professor has like, seven kids and they send him cute pictures of their dogs? Or maybe one of his scholarly rivals just published a really dumb article. That seemed more plausible.

There’s nowhere to go from there, so the subject dies.

#KnB #AoKuro

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spirkism · 7 years

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on why queer isn’t a bad word

I’ve read quite a few posts from either viewpoint and so far I’ve kept my mouth shut on how I feel about this because I didn’t want to polarize - but lately I’ve seen more and more of the “but it’s a slur!!!” arguments and couldn’t take it anymore. I went on a twitter rant but promised to make a more organized and put together post so here we go. (it got quite long, I apologize)

there are a lot of wonderful posts about this out there already but I decided to still mention the points made there because honestly the more people hear it the better. feel free to approach me and I’ll link you to some of those other posts!

as a little backstory: I’m from Germany - aka a non-English speaking country and that actually plays a part in it but more on that later. I’m in my mid-twenties and I’ve identified as queer for about 7ish years now. I used to be very well connected in the community, especially the trans community and had some older friends who were there in the beginnings of our (German) community. so I know the history.

okay so, I’m just gonna list some points now in no particular order:

1. yes. queer is used as a slur. so is gay. so are basically all the other identities we have. because some straight people are assholes and are afraid of everything that’s different. BUT. queer has been reclaimed AGES ago. our forebearers fought long and hard to take it BACK from the straight people who stole it to hurt us. freely handing it over to our opposers now would be nothing short of trampling on our community’s history and invalidating the sacrifices the generations before us have made. also. “queer history”, “queer cinema”, “queer studies” are all legitimate (academical) terms. academics don’t cuss in their descriptors (and college courses).

2. queer is so much more inclusive than lgbt(+) or any of those acronyms. sure you could go lgbtqiaapf... but honestly that’s getting a bit ridiculous and frankly confusing. so for the sake of this argument we’ll stick with the “original” acronym LGBT. it mentions all of four identities. FOUR. out of the multitudes there are. I personally happen to have one of my identities mentioned there. that’s not a lot. but still, it’s something. my aroace nonbinary friend doesn’t have any. “but there’s the plus!” you say. great. a plus. lovely. how would you feel being represented by a plus that doesn’t tell you anything about what it actually means? exactly. that’s not representation at all. who tf even knows what that plus means. no mention of nonbinary people, fluid people, pan people, ace people, aro people, and the list goes on and on. that’s why it’s an amazing umbrella term. everyone can find a place in it.

3. it’s welcoming. this point is kind of tied to my second one but it’s important in its own right so I decided to give it its own number. it’s welcoming to questioning people. you know you’re different? not straight? but are you pan? are you bi? are you ace? or maybe aro? are you trans? are you non-binary? who the fuck even knows. it’s hard. I’ve been through multiple of these and it SUCKS. so having a community who goes “hey we don’t care how exactly you identify, we don’t mind if you haven’t figured it out you, you have a place here, you’re safe here and no one is gonna police your identity or gatekeep you” is super important. trust me.

4. it’s often easier. if I want to let somebody know I’m “not straight” without going into the details of my identity, queer is just a lot simpler and the other person will immediately understand what I mean. sometimes I just don’t wanna let somebody know all of my identities. sometimes I really don’t feel like educating people on all the terms I use. but I still want to let them know I’m part of the community. and honestly sometimes saying “hi so I’m a pansexual gray-aro gender-nonconforming trans guy” is too tiresome/long. “hi I’m queer” is concise and understandable to pretty much everyone. sure, if you’re a cis gay dude, lesbian or bisexual person you can just use one of those words - good for you (no really, it is good for you and I’m happy you have these terms). but who tf (that isn’t as deep in the community as I am and/or on tumblr) is gonna know what I mean when I talk about my identity? fucking no one. you can’t really use “I’m LGBT” as a descriptor for yourself. saying “I’m gay” doesn’t work either cause then a) I might feel weird cause I don’t actually identify as gay and b) there’s gonna be shouts of “but you’re not gay, you’re not allowed to use that word!” - well what am I gonna use then? exactly. QUEER. that’s where my nationality comes in as well. here no one knows what the fuck ace / aro, nb or even pan is. but they know what queer is. it’s like that in a lot of the non-english speaking world. get out of your US sometimes, folks.

5. this one is near and dear to me. queer is so much more than just an identifier telling people you’re not straight. it’s more than a label. more than a community. especially in the beginnings of our history it was most often used to denote that you’re different. you’re not the norm. and you don’t wanna be. you’re proud of being different. you’re celebrating being different and you’re not ashamed of it. it means you don’t want to assimilate, don’t want to emulate the “normal” lifestyle, don’t want to be that “well, he has a husband but you know, he’s not really gay, he’s just like us” guy. (nothing wrong with having a house with a picket fence and two children though, okay, I never said that! I actually want that myself) the celebration of difference has always been a strong suit in our community. and personally for many of us. this is where my other “oddities” and differences interwine with my queer identity. I suffer from anxiety. I’m kinky. I’m a witch, I’m questioning my religious beliefs, I don’t give a fuck about gender roles and I’m just a general oddball. and that’s how I LIKE IT. I’m good that way. heck, I’m fucking GREAT that way.

there are quite a few more arguments to be made for the word queer but these are the ones I feel are most important.

so yes, I’ve identified as queer for a long while and I will continue to do so. as well as use it as an umbrella term for our community. if you personally come up to me and ask me not to use the word queer for you specifically of course I’ll accept that - but don’t you dare tell me how I can and cannot identify myself and my community. as cis gays and lesbians you might not need the word queer. and that’s good for you. (no really, it is). but as someone who isn’t one of these things, for so many of us, queer is a word we desperately need (for the reasons listed above and more). so PLEASE don’t take it from us. a lot of work and love went into that word and it would be devastating to lose all that love and hope and sacrifice. we must not let this divide us. we must stay strong as a community, ALL of us, especially in the current times.

so no, I have never nor will I ever tag my identity as a slur and I urge you not to either. if for personal reasons queer is a triggering word for you, there are countless ways to get around that (just like with any other trigger - use tumblr savior, xkit or any other of those options). but don’t ruin it for the rest of us.

this has obviously just been my very personal opinion - feel free to add on to this! I welcome discussion about it - with people who agree with me but also people who disagree - the only thing I ask is to please stay civil and not to become personally attacking. thank you. sorry for making such a long and personal post but I just had to after all this time.

so to end this with an all time classic: WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, DEAL WITH IT.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #queer slur discourse #text #misc #long post for ts #queer blogging #(yes that's my tag for queer shit)

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welllpthisishappening · 8 years

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You Play Ball Like a Girl (37/?)

“You’re awfully confident.” “That’s because of you. I’m confident in you.” Emma shook her head – she wasn’t sure she would ever get over the way he looked at her when he told her he believed in her. “I know the higher-ups said not to tell anyone and I won’t tell Ingrid or anybody yet, but do you think I could tell M’s? She won’t want to yell the news down the street of a small Maine town.”

Plugging along on Ao3 and on Tumblr and I really, really think we might wrap up at 50 chapters. Nice round, vaguely ridiculous number.

They tried not to worry about it.

No one had said anything, so they did their best to ignore that text message and go on with their lives.

Killian wrote columns and Emma covered college basketball and they got very excited, all caps e-mails from Isaac about how well the last video went.

They didn’t talk about it.

They talked about everything except Gold buying The New York Record .

“It’ll be fine, love,” Killian said for what felt like the eight hundredth time. “Just keep writing. You don’t need to worry.” Emma stared up at him, skepticism written on her as clearly as if she had typed it there. “Yuh huh.”

“Ok, you can worry about me,” he admitted.

“Those are the rules.” “Rules?”

“The relationship rules. Like M’s and David. She’s constantly worried about him. That’s just how it works.” “We’re trying to be like Mary Margaret and David now?” “Well,” Emma admitted, rolling her eyes. “Maybe not just like them. That would be a bit much to deal with. But, you know, maybe like in general?” “The love part you mean?” Emma gaped at him, glancing around the very crowded office to make sure no one had heard him. Kathryn had been lurking around over the last few weeks, trying to pick up on any gossip after Walsh had been fired and couldn’t report it to her himself. Killian just smirked at her, raising his own eyebrows again.

“Killian,” she hissed, pulling her lips back behind her teeth and making a face.

“What, Swan?” “You can’t just say that!” “Why not? You said there were rules. I was simply following your train of thought.” “Impossible,” Emma muttered.

“And you love me for it.” He flashed his eyes up at her and Emma sighed dramatically, rolling her head onto her shoulder.

“Maybe.” “You wound me, Swan.”

“That ego knows no bounds, does it?” “Confidence,” Killian objected, sitting on the edge of her desk and tossing his phone next to him. “There’s a difference.”

“Yuh huh.”

Emma leaned forward and he covered her hand with his, ignoring her noise of disapproval. “You know that’s your doing, right?” “What is?”

“The confidence.”

The air rushed out of her lungs in one foul swoop and Emma shook her head again. This had become the norm over the last few weeks, this single sentences with absurdly deep and emotional meanings that consistently caught Emma by surprise.

It was almost as if all the metaphorical walls were down now, barreled over by unplanned declarations of love and, now, Killian Jones couldn’t stop talking.

Emma – almost – wasn’t totally overwhelmed by it.

In fact, she found she kind of liked it. And, more often than not, thought the exact same things.

She was just about to answer when Will walked up to her desk and Killian’s hand flew back to his much more workplace-appropriate side.

“Mail call,” Will said, dropping an envelope on Emma’s desk and tossing an identical one to Killian.

Emma stared at it. There wasn’t a stamp on it. This had come from inside The Record . “What is this?” she asked, staring at Will.

“Beats me. We all got ‘em.” “And not one person opened them yet?” Killian asked, ripping the end of the envelope open and pulling out the letter inside. Emma stared at him. “What?” he shrugged.

“Who opens letters like that?” Killian rolled his eyes and unfolded the letter, eyes scanning along the lines.

“They literally just came Cap,” Will muttered. “I think they’re sending Leroy to every floor with them. He didn’t look very pleased.”

“Yeah, I don’t think Leroy would enjoy that very much,” Killian muttered, still not taking his eyes off the letter.

“Killian?” Emma asked, opening her own letter like a normal person and pulling out the sheet of paper. Oh. It took approximately 2.5 seconds for Emma to understand the look on Killian’s face and for her own knot of anxiety to form in the pit of her stomach.

“Am I missing something here?” Will asked, glancing between the two of them. “It’s just the end of the year party.” “It’s bigger than that,” Killian muttered, handing the paper to Will. “Look.” Will let out a low whistle and Emma chewed on the side of her tongue. Killian looked like he was frozen.

It was an invitation to The Record ’s annual end-of-the-year party, but it was also more than that. It was at Gotham Hall, for one, an enormous over-the-top building in the middle of midtown that Emma had walked by plenty of times, but never actually been in. There was no way The Record could afford something like that – unless the paper had just come into a significant amount of money.

Then, of course, there was the inscription on the invitation.

All staff are invited to join us for dinner, drinks and dancing as The New York Record celebrates another year as the leader of city news. With the holiday season in full swing, the management of the paper looks towards the future and the brand-new steps the paper will take as we transition into the new world of journalism .

“Shit,” Emma said under her breath, but Killian heard her, laughing darkly in response. “Killian,” she said again, standing up and putting her hand on his shoulder.

Will made some sort of noise that sounded slightly surprised. Emma ignored him completely.

“Swan,” he said, not looking at her.

“It’s going to be fine.” It wasn’t. It was going to be the opposite of fine. They were going to announce the sale at the party. Emma was certain of it and, judging by Killian’s reaction, he was certain of it as well.

It wasn’t going to be fine.

He scoffed at her and Will’s eyes danced between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on. “What do you two know that I don’t?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Emma said quickly at the same time Killian said, “They sold the paper.” “Killian!”

He just shrugged. He had given up.

Emma did her best not to sigh and sink back into her chair. Will just looked overwhelmed. “How do you know that?” “He doesn’t,” Emma said sharply. “Not for sure.” “I’m fairly positive, love.”

Will blinked several times at the endearment – Emma was certain that was the first time he had called her that at work – and looked back down at the letter in his hand. “You think that’s where they got the money for Gotham Hall?” “Certainly seems like it,” Killian answered. “And what’s this about ‘the new world of journalism?’”

“Your guess is as good as mine on that one.”

“You think we’re all going to get fired?” Will asked. The joke was clear, the teasing lilt in his voice obvious, but Emma squeezed her eyes closed as soon as he stopped talking, unable to even look in Killian’s direction.

“No,” he said quietly. “Not all of us.” “You’re holding out on me, Cap,” Will accused and Emma shook her head, staring up at the ceiling.

Killian stood up, moving in front of Emma’s desk. She chanced a look at him and felt her heart drop into the floor – he was rubbing his hand.

“I’m not Will,” Killian said softly. “At least not a lot. Swan’s right. I don’t know anything for certain. I have several hunches. That’s it.” “Those aren’t usually wrong.” “No, they’re not.”

“I won’t push. I can be patient.” “That so?” “Well,” Will said slowly. “At least when it comes to this. I know you’re not saying all you know – neither of you are – but I can wait.” He looked back down at the letter in disbelief. “Black tie,” he muttered. “I hope they got a shit ton of money for this paper if I’m going to have to rent a tux for this.” Emma let out some sort of near-hysterical sound that almost resembled laughter and Will stared at her, a bemused smile on his face. She shook her hand, trying to get him away from her desk so she could talk to her boyfriend – and editor and boss.

Will got the message.

“Alright, well, I’ve delivered the letters, which is what I promised Leroy I would do. So if you guys are good, I’ve got boxes to do,” he said, nodding towards Killian and Emma before walking back to the other side of the office.

Emma waited a moment before talking. Killian was still standing in front of her desk.

“You ok?” she asked softly. He shook his head.

She walked around the desk, pulling his left hand towards her – so he could stop rubbing it – and wrapped her fingers around his wrist tightly. “You don’t even know what the announcement is about. Not really.” “You don’t hold a party in a place like this unless it’s a game-changing announcement, Swan,” he said, moving his hand slightly so his fingers were twined up in hers. “I know we had this unspoken agreement not to talk about it, but this is happening. Whether we acknowledge it or not.” “You’re not going to get fired. It’s not like he can just banish you at an end-of-the-year party.” “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

His phone vibrated on the fake wood of Emma’s desk – the sixth time it had made some sort of noise since he arrived in front of her 30 minutes ago. “What is going on with that thing?” she asked.

“E-mails.”

“Jeez.” “It’s nothing, Swan.”

Lie.

Emma narrowed her eyes and looked directly at him. He didn’t look like he was lying. He looked like his mind was going a million different directions, but didn’t look like he was lying. Didn’t change the fact that he was.

“What aren’t you telling me?” “Nothing.” Lie.

“Killian,” Emma sighed.

He held up his hands in mock-surrender and took a step away from here. “Honestly, Swan. It’s not anything you need to be worried about.” “Ah now I don’t have to be worried about it. So it is something.”

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to respond, no doubt with some sort of witty retort, but got cut off when Emma’s desk phone started to ring. “We’re not done,” she said, reaching around him and he nodded, settling his face into an attempt at serious.

“Hello?” she asked.

“Emma? This is Rebecca – Isaac’s secretary up here on 24. He’s wondering if you’re free to come up and talk.” “Right now?” “Yes. And bring Killian with you.” “Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

“He’s waiting for you in his office.” “Ok.”

Emma hung up the phone and glanced at Killian who was leaning against her desk again. “What’s the matter love?” he asked.

“One, you should probably hold back on that while we’re here. Will’s eyes nearly fell out of his head when you called me that. Under the radar, remember? And, two, that was Isaac’s secretary. He wants to talk to me. With you. Now.” “Now?” “That’s what he said.”

He stuck his lower lip out slightly and made a face. “Let’s go.” “That’s it? No further questions?” “Not until we talk to Isaac. Come on love ,” he added the last word with an extra bit of force and Emma felt like her eyes had rolled into the back of her head.

“Impossible,” she repeated, grabbing a pen and sticking it into her hair as she walked towards the door, Killian a few steps behind her.

“You can just go in,” Rebecca the 24th-floor secretary said as soon as they walked through the doors.

“Ok,” Emma mumbled, nerves hitting her suddenly and forcefully. She had a sinking suspicion this was about them and she didn’t think it was going to end well.

They’d done their best to fly under the metaphorical radar, but Kathryn was a gossip-hawk who practically lived on the sports floor now and they had made out in the studio after filming that last video. There were probably security cameras in there that they hadn’t taken into consideration.

Except when they walked into Isaac’s office, he didn’t look upset. If anything he looked thrilled , sitting comfortably behind his enormous desk with his phone to his ear. “Yeah, yeah, they’re here,” he said, motioning towards Emma and Killian to sit down. “Yeah, come over now. We can tell them.”

“Sorry about that,” he said, putting his phone back on the desk and smiling at them. Emma glanced at Killian. He didn’t move.

“What’s going on Isaac?” he asked, leaning against the side of the chair – closer to Emma. She tried not to think about that.

“Nope, we’re waiting for Sydney. Then we can both get you up to speed.”

They sat in awkward silence for 30 seconds before Sydney arrived in the doorway. “You tell them yet?” he asked Isaac, who simply shook his head.

Sydney stepped farther into the office – which had, officially, run out of chairs – and stood behind Isaac’s desk, arms crossed over his chest.

“Everything ok?” Emma asked, trying to sound confident.

“Absolutely,” Isaac answered, still smiling. “Then...what’s going on.” “Victor is leaving the paper.” He didn’t say anything else and Emma lowered her eyebrows, wondering how exactly that affected her.

“Ok,” she said slowly.

“And that means we’ve got a beat opening up in a few weeks.” “Ok…” “Swan,” Killian muttered, staring at her pointedly, the ends of his mouth turning up. Emma almost fell out of her chair.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Really?”

Isaac nodded, looking up towards Sydney to continue. “The three of us,” Sydney said, nodding towards Killian and Isaac. “Have talked about this for the last couple of days, since Victor told us, and we’ve decided there’s no one more qualified to take over. You did an incredible job during the playoff run and even though we’re already a few months into the season, we’re certain you’ll be able to fall right into the swing of things, so to speak.” “Wow,” Emma said softly, mostly to herself, and she heard Killian laugh.

“So, Emma,” Isaac said, taking back control of the conversation. “Once Victor leaves, we’re ready to name you the Knicks beat writer. But we wanted to make sure that was something you were actually interested in.” “Of course I am! Absolutely!” “Good. Now, there are a few expectations here. Home games, travel, a column. Maybe even your own video series. But those are all things we can talk about after we get through the holidays. Victor’s final day is December 31. So, happy early New Year’s I suppose.”

Emma exhaled loudly, her shoulders falling quickly as she glanced around the room. Killian was smiling so hard at her she couldn’t figure out how no one had realized they were together yet.

“Thank you,” Emma said sincerely.

“Don’t thank me,” Isaac said. “Or Sydney for that matter. Killian was the one who suggested it. We just agreed after he pointed out the obvious. And you were the obvious choice, Emma.”

Emma gripped the side of the chair tightly, trying to make sure she didn’t do something stupid like kiss her boyfriend in front of the editors of a major metropolitan newspaper that may be planning on firing him sooner rather than later.

“We’ll probably make the official announcement at the party next week if that’s alright with you,” Sydney continued. Emma nodded wordlessly.

She couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“Perfect,” he said. “And there’ll be a whole new round of paperwork, a brand-new contract, a raise. But, like Isaac said, that’s all for next month.” “That sounds great,” Emma said quickly, standing up and reaching her hand out. Isaac and Sydney shook it easily, but Killian stayed rooted to his chair, still smiling at Emma and leaning towards where she had been.

“Just keep this under your hat, so to speak, for now, ok?” Isaac said. “No need to let other papers know what we’ve got planned.” “Sure thing,” Emma agreed. “And thank you, again.”

“It was the obvious choice,” Isaac repeated and Emma got the distinct impression that’s what he had been told – like that’s what Killian had said.

Emma nodded again and Killian stood up. “Come on Swan,” he said softly. “That’s all there was.”

“Congratulations, Emma,” Sydney said as she walked towards the door.

Killian ushered her out of the office and into the elevator without saying anything, just nodding towards the secretary on their way out. Emma bit her lip, a thousand and one thoughts racing through her mind. He reached to hit the sports floor button, but Emma pushed his hand out of the way hitting the ground floor instead.

He turned towards her, eyes wide and an unspoken question written all over his face.

“We’re going to talk,” she said. Killian just nodded, following her out of the lobby and onto 8th Avenue. Emma didn’t have a destination. She just knew she couldn’t be on The Record sports floor when she did this.

She pulled him around the block, standing on the side of the building, but away from the prying eyes of the front door and Leroy the security guard. Killian stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, waiting on her.

Always.

“You knew,” Emma said simply, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice.

“I know a lot, Swan. You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

“Nuh uh, don’t do that. You knew about Victor and you knew about me. Why didn’t you say anything? Is that what those e-mails were about?” “No,” he said easily, but failed to elaborate anymore. Emma narrowed her eyes at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known Victor was leaving?” “He mentioned it after Thanksgiving.”

“That was two weeks ago!” “Ok.”

“Killian,” Emma whined. “You knew that long and you didn’t say anything?” “Because it wasn’t final yet. I honestly didn’t know they had officially decided anything until just now.” “But you told them to hire me.” “I did.” “Why?”

Killian sighed dramatically, crossing his arms over his chest. “Really? You’re really going to ask me that?”

“I believe I just did.”

“Swan, this is what you’ve wanted since the start. A beat, a column. All of it. And, more to the point, this is what you deserve. I just pointed them in the right direction. There was no sense in doing interviews if it was just going to be you at the end anyway.” “What if there’s someone else out there more qualified?” “There isn’t.” He didn’t say anything else, just stared at Emma as if he was daring her to argue with him. She didn’t. In fact, she wasn’t sure she could debate anything at that point. She was far too focused on his lips and the way he seemed to lean towards her without even really thinking about it.

“You sound very sure,” Emma whispered.

“I am.”

Emma took a deep breath and took a step closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands seemed to instinctively fall to her waist.

“I love you,” she said quietly and he smiled at her again before ducking his head and kissing her.

“I love you too,” he answered when he pulled away. “But, for the record, this wasn’t because of that. You deserve this Swan. And you’re going to be so good at it. Like absurdly good.” “You’re awfully confident.” “That’s because of you. I’m confident in you.” Emma shook her head – she wasn’t sure she would ever get over the way he looked at her when he told her he believed in her. “I know the higher-ups said not to tell anyone and I won’t tell Ingrid or anybody yet, but do you think I could tell M’s? She won’t want to yell the news down the street of a small Maine town.”

Killian barked out a laugh, fingers, somehow, making their way under her shirt. “I’m fairly certain Mary Margaret won’t yell the news down any streets, Storybrooke or otherwise, but I’m afraid I might have stolen some of your thunder, love.” “What are you talking about?”

His eyes were practically sparkling when he looked at her. “Mary Margaret might already have an idea that this was happening.” “You told her!? You told M’s and not me? What even, Killian?” “I didn’t tell her,” he said, tightening his hold on her. “I told David. Who I’m sure told Mary Margaret. And I didn’t say you got the job. Like I said, I didn’t know you got the job until 15 minutes ago.” “So what did you tell him?” “That there was the possibility that something about your job title may change and they should be ready for some sort of celebration at a moment’s notice.” “And that moment is now?” “It is.”

“And what is the celebration?” “I’m supposed to bring you to Bleeker later tonight.” Emma shook her head in disbelief. “And they know this how?” “I’m very good at texting in my pocket.”

“You are ridiculous!”

“This is the point where I remind you again how much you love me,” Killian said softly, kissing just behind her ear. “And how much you appreciate me and my interference in every single aspect of your life.” “Is that what this is? You interfering?”

Emma’s voice sounded breathless as he turned them on the spot and walked Emma back towards the building, out of the middle of the sidewalk and the prying eyes of the tourists on the block.

“You tell me, Swan.” “I don’t think so.” “No? Then what do you think is going on?” “I think that you’ve landed squarely in the middle of my life and I like the way you fit there. No matter what you’re interfering with.”

“I don’t know where you came from, Swan,” he said softly, almost as if he was nervous to say it out loud.

“I’m here now.” “And I’m glad.” He pushed her closer to the building, settling into a shaded corner and pushing his hips against hers. “Have I mentioned that?” “Not in so many words,” Emma mumbled. “Although you’re doing a pretty good of showing it.” He kissed her again and pushed his hand under her shirt, resting his palm flat on the small of her back.

“Killian,” she said. “We are on a sidewalk.” “Not in the office though. Weren’t those the rules? No displays of affection or nicknames in the office. I’m following the rules, Swan.”

“We’re close to the office.”

“You’re arguing a lost cause.” “I realize that.” As if to prove her point, Emma wrapped her fingers through his belt loops and yanked him closer to her. He growled at her and Emma felt like she was about to melt into that very public sidewalk. “Swan,” he warned.

“Yeah.” “You’re breaking your own rules.” “And you love me for it.”

He pulled back and stared at her and Emma was certain they were having some sort of major moment right there on 8th Avenue. “I do,” Killian said seriously. Emma wondered – not for the first time – how he managed to put so much emotion into two words and three letters. She was just glad that he did.

It made her a bit more confident.

“I love you,” he said again and Emma felt like there was a small sun glowing in her stomach. “You good with this?”

“With you loving me? I thought we’d made that abundantly clear.” “Bleeker Street, love. Going to Bleeker later.” “Of course. M’s would be incredibly disappointed if I didn’t show up. I’m sure she’s called in a reservation already.” “I’m not worried about Mary Margaret. I’m worried about you.” “I am fine. I promise.” He stared at her skeptically and Emma sighed. “Really,” she continued. “Long as you promise to show up too, then I’ll be good.” “I promise to show up.” “Then I’ll be good,” Emma said, nodding her head once as if to prove her point. “You think they’ve noticed that we’ve been gone this long?” “Leroy wasn’t at his desk when we left, so I’m not sure he had a chance to time our disappearance.” “Small miracles.”

“We’ll be better at flying under the radar from now on, Swan.” “I’ll believe it when I see it.” “Ye of little faith,” Killian scoffed, tugging on her sleeve and directing her back around the block. His phone buzzed from the inside of his pocket and he pulled it out glancing at the screen. “Mary Margaret said to be there at 8:30.”

“I told you she already had a reservation.” “I’m impressed with your knowledge, Swan,” he said, holding the door open for her and following her into the lobby.

“Stick around for awhile and you’ll start to pick up on M’s planning tendencies.”

“I look forward to it,” Killian answered and Emma felt butterflies in her stomach – until she glanced over her shoulder and looked at him. He tossed his ID badge towards Leroy and was trying to smile at her, but it didn’t quite reach all the way up to his eyes.

“You ok?” she asked.

“Sure. Come on Swan. Let’s go make sure no one timed our disappearance.”

Emma nodded once, stepping into the elevator and tried to focus on the positives – new job, Bleeker Street, Killian’s absurd ability to kiss on sidewalks – and not on the fact that she was absolutely certain he was keeping something from her.

#cs ff #cs fic #cs au #cs #ypblag #this is like absurdly short for me #comparitively speaking #THINGS HAPPEN THOUGH #they do #really

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marysunshine23 · 4 years

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Problematic?

So, I’ve noticed a... popular trend in some of the stuff that I like and follow on Tumblr. Certain series or concepts are being deemed “problematic”. For the fun of it, let’s see what the dictionary definition is for “problematic”:

a: posing a problem : difficult to solve or decide

b: not definite or settled : UNCERTAIN: their future remains problematic

c: open to question or debate : QUESTIONABLE

This is.... not how people are using it. People are using problematic for... oh what’s that word... I’ll leave that for later. Anyway, the people who are defining certain series or concepts are not using it as problematic by it’s dictionary definition. And here’s why I think it’s silly.

Before I begin listing off some examples of series or concepts that I’ve seen be called problematic, I’m going to say something as a general. If a show is not problematic, it’s either uneventful or just... boring. Even these “slice of life” “reality” shows amp up the problems in a story so there is something worth watching. In fiction, the entire point of the problem is for it to be solved near the end. And what’s the first definition? Oh, that’s right, “posing a problem that is difficult to solve or decide upon”.

And what keeps the tension in a story but definition number two, “note definite or settled”. If it were easy to solve the problem, then it would be, again, boring. So saying that anything with a plot is “problematic” is a big “no shit, Sherlock” because that’s the point. The point is for it to be problematic. Tons of shows that are episodic have problematic situations for every episode. Hell, even Spongebob can be defined as problematic.

However, I know I’m gonna have a million people be like “that’s not what we mean!” And I know that’s not what you mean, that’s why I’m pointing out that your choice of words is silly. Saying anything with a plot, episodic or long running is by definition problematic. So why am I bringing this up? Well, I think what people are mostly associating the word “problematic” to is the third definition, “Open to Question or Debate: Questionable”. And not just questionable as in “let’s discuss this”, it’s “this is morally questionable”; or like I like to say, morally ambiguous. Now that I have that established, let’s list some examples! And by some, I mean two.

Hazbin Hotel

Now, I’m going to say right off the bat, no shit is this morally ambiguous. It’s supposed to be. You have the main protagonist being the princess of Hell, then her girlfriend, her friendly acquaintance who is also a lot of morally not so ambiguous things, an infamous radio show host and two of his lackeys. A lot of people have a lot of complaints about this, and I want to address them quickly.

Angel Dust’s Appearance: A lot of people are upset with how Angel Dust looks; wide chested, wearing a mini-skirt and thigh-high boots, and a somewhat defined waist. People are assuming that his appearance is transphobic. And I have to ask... have you guys never seen an androgynous person before? Like... ever? And there are a million discussions about “fuck gender norms”. Yet when an androgynous looking male is wearing a miniskirt under his too tight jacket. Or maybe it’s the whole using the jacket to shove his chest together to make cleavage, but what five year old hasn’t done that after seeing a “voluptuous” person?

Angel Dust’s Career: He’s a prostitute. He’s a prostitute who is also a porn star. He’s a prostituting porn star who regularly gets into turf wars. He’s a prostituting porn star who regularly gets into turf wars and enjoys recreational drugs. Does that make him a sex addict? No. Does that make him a drug addict? No. Does that make him addicted to violence? No. Does that make him the poster child of that life style? Yes.

Vaggie’s “Stereo Type” Personality: Okay, so I didn’t even know this was a thing until I saw posts about it. Like, for real. I thought Hispanic women were all super nice and motherly and “you’re too skinny!” But then again, I’m pretty sure that’s every non-Caucasian mother stereotype. However, I never found Vaggie’s personality to be “overly angry” or “overly protective”. She gets mad that people are underrating Charlie and her dream, but not so much that she will immediately kill anyone who rolls their eye at Charlie. And if she was overly protective, she wouldn’t even let Charlie take this risk of creating a hotel and broadcasting about it.

Over Swearing: They’re in Hell. This show is for adults. An episode of South Park swears more than this. Grow the fuck up.

There’s Homophobia/Transphobia!: Yes. From the antagonists. Who you’re supposed to dislike. So they’re doing their job. Like I said, grow the fuck up.

There’s no LGBTQ+ Representation: Vaggie and Angel Dust are gay, Charlie is bi, Alastor is Ace.

But Vivzi-: Nope. I’m throwing down the “Right to be Forgotten” card from Europe. This says that if a person has made a mistake in the past and then has redeemed past behaviors with present, they have the “right to forget”, meaning that it’s been forgiven. And because this is the world wide web, I can say I honestly don’t care what Vivzi did or said ten years ago.

TLDR: Everything brought up as “problematic” is, in all honesty, angry people looking for a reason to be angry.

Next!

Beastars!

Now, according to Barnes and Noble, Beastars is rated 12-17 recommended. Generally that’s a teen to older teen rating. On the other hand, Netflix rated it TV-MA, meaning for mature audiences. So it’s weird. Anyway, rather than going by why people have said about Beastars (negatively) we’re gonna use TV-MA’s guide!

D - Sexual or Suggestive Dialogue: Yup. “Breeding” is a very popular topic in Beastars. It’s part of why Haru is bullied so much. And, come on, Legoshi is given a bunny porn magazine to read. Like, for real. But the nice thing is, the conversation is very casual, so it’s easy to miss. So it’s not a huge deal.

L - Course or crude language: Yup, there’s swearing. Moving on

S - Sexual content: Oh yeah, Haru’s got that covered. In fact, there is a lot of sexual themes in this. But is it porn? No more than Panty and Stocking, and that’s a trip and a half. But also, it’s about as sexual as Sailor Moon. Like, in all seriousness, Usagi is banging Mamoru at 12-16 way more than Haru is banging Louis at 18. Just saying. And it’s shown about as much, so. Yeah. While sexuality isn’t a theme in the porn aspect, it is something that brings up a discussion. The discussion of “can sex be empowering?” And the answer is yes, absolutely, that’s why we don’t slut shame on my blog. But also, another discussion is “can sex skew your perspective of right and wrong”, and the answer is, again, yes! It can! And it might be a good thing.

V - Violence: Yup. But it’s less violent than Tokyo Ghoul. It’s not vamped to 100, it’s not bad. But again, its something to bring up discussion. “Should your physical/biological makeup dictated your actions?” In this, we see very aggressive and even violent herbivores, and on the flip side, very passive and very gentle carnivores. And much like other conversations of what’s socially acceptable, a violent aggressive herbivore is wildly more accepted than a mild, meek carnivore. And heaven forbid carnivores behave like the prideful and aggressive herbivores, ‘cause that’ll get them thrown into jail. So yes, there is violence; violence due to biology and social norms.

So, for being as sexual or as violent as other anime in existence, why is it “problematic”? Probably because people hate furries as much as they hate bronies. People don’t like sexualized anthros. The only place anthros are acceptable is in a Disney movie.

Remember that word I “forgot” at the beginning? The word people meant to use instead of problematic? The word is “discomforting”. It makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit into the norm of what has been “acceptable” in media. As much as South Park, Family Guy, Futurama and other “adult” animation has been using “adult” humor and “adult” themes, it’s not adult in maturity. It’s slap stick, and crude.

People are using “problematic” for cartoon media, or media in general, that is taking actual adult themes and creative adult humor and saying “We’re not here to make you comfortable, we’re here to make you think.” People don’t want to think, people want their minds to be numb, and that is problematic. Not the show, the fact that you don’t want to think. And another thing that is problematic is how people push away actual proper representation and label it as “problematic”, and then complain that they aren’t represented at all; let alone properly. (Those who have followed me for a while know what I’m talking about I don’t need more people to argue with me on that topic.)

Quit using problematic to describe things that are discomforting. And quit acting like being uncomfortable is bad. Being uncomfortable means your growing, and your being tested. And being tested isn’t bad either. Long story short, quit acting like everyone has to accommodate to you because you “don’t like it” or it “hurts your feelings” or makes you uncomfortable. Nothing in life is comfortable, and if you don’t like something, don’t look at it. Don’t watch it. Don’t read it. You have free will. So don’t drag everyone down because you think the world should care about your feelings. It doesn’t.

#hazbin hotel #beastars #problematic #rant #buckle up buttercup #yay for definitions

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teachanarchy · 8 years

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When Eli Sommer came across the term “transgender” in a Tumblr post in high school, everything clicked. “Oh,” he thought. “That’s me.” Attending a Georgia high school, struggling with anxiety and depression, Eli tried to communicate with his parents who were forcing gender conformity and insisting he was a girl. It wasn’t until his psychologist, who is himself transgender, recommended The Transgender Child as a resource that his parents realized what Eli needed to thrive.

The family met with his homeroom teacher, who quickly became an ally, even advising the LGBT club Eli established called GLOW (Gay, Lesbian Or Whatever). “He’s cisgender, he’s straight,” Eli recalls, “but he’s passionate about advocating and making sure all of the kids in our club succeed in school and aren’t held back because of how they identify.”

Eli also found an advocate in his school principal, who located a gender-neutral restroom for him to use at school. “I would not have thought that my principal would have been helpful because he drives a big red truck with a gun rack on it,” recounts Eli. “But when all of the transgender stuff came to the table, he was like, ‘I don’t really understand, but Eli’s a good kid and we’ll get him what he’s entitled to.’”

Although it was not without obstacles, the relative ease of Eli’s transition is rare. The 2013 GLSEN National School Climate Survey found that, compared to their LGB peers, transgender and gender-nonconforming students face the most hostile school climates. According to the National Center for Transgender Equality, in 2015, 75 percent of transgender youth felt unsafe at school, and those who did not drop out altogether were more likely to miss school due to a safety concern, have significantly lower GPAs, and were less likely to plan for future education.

The good news is educators are learning more about how to support nonbinary youth at school. One of the most important lessons? The needs of transgender youth remain distinct from those of their LGB peers—and they extend beyond pronoun usage and bathroom access.

“When Kids Like Me Grow Up …” Experts cite mentorship as instrumental for trans students’ success, but formal mentors are scarce. Jenn Burleton, executive director of TransActive Gender Center in Portland, Oregon, sought to establish a trans-to-trans mentoring program but failed to locate enough transgender adults for similarly identified youth.

“Right now what these kids do not have is enough of a sense that: ‘When kids like me grow up, there’s an adult version of me doing what everybody else does and getting through the day. They’re there for me to see and know that there’s a place for me to walk when I get older,’” Burleton says. “Not letting kids see that can give them a subliminal sense that there is a dead end to their identity or that hiding is the only way to be.”

Kiera Hansen, a genderqueer-identified social worker in Portland, Oregon, is attempting to fill this void. Hansen—who prefers the pronoun they—helps run an afterschool drop-in program where almost everyone identifies as trans or gender-nonconforming. While funding sources have diminished, their team has pooled resources throughout the city to create a tight-knit group. Outside of the group, Hansen has accompanied mentees to school when they need support, meeting with teachers to ensure access to the right bathrooms, use of the right pronouns, and to address any other issues students might face.

Hansen cites modeling vulnerability as a key to successful mentoring. “I’m surviving a lot of things on a regular basis, just as the youth are,” they recount. “I am genuinely honest with them. We’re transparent about the hurdles and barriers we go through in life and in the program. We do not make everything look perfect and well-put-together. We want them to have the tools to interact with the systems that are often working against them and their voices.”

One of the members of their drop-in group, Cameron, is about to graduate from high school and attributes part of that success to the group. “I have a really bad attendance problem with school,” he confides, recounting frequent bullying, including being compared to a wild animal in sociology class. “Having this group to look forward to every week has been one of the motivations that brings me back to school.”

Gender Identity Competency When working toward success at school for transgender students, it is paramount for youth to identify an adult with whom they feel safe. Johanna Eager, director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Welcoming Schools program, coaches educators around gender identity competency. She trains schools to help transitioning students identify a knowledgeable staff member who may or may not be trans but to whom students feel safe going during the day. “Any trans student needs to know who their safe person is,” she says. “You are vulnerable if you are the only one.”

Eager says there is no formula to positive mentorship. Some mentors are passionate and informed based on experience. Some are naturally kind and caring, with no formal training. “I’ve seen educators who don’t have much knowledge tend to the social emotional health for a trans child, and I have seen folks who are trans or LGBTQ be supportive with their knowledge. It can be either and it always has been.”

Above all, quality mentors trust that transgender youth know who they are and what they need. As one father reflected about parenting his transgender son, “There were never any conscious decisions. It was always intuitive, following him. It’s about letting him lead and supporting wherever he is. That line is always moving.”

Transgender youth are looking, first and foremost, for adults to respect their chosen names and pronouns. Making this effort validates young people’s core identity and solidifies their safety. Without it, a trusted relationship cannot be built. As Cameron says, “People using your pronouns and correct name without fail is wonderful. When people do it with no question, you can tell they see you the way you want to be seen.”

Earning the trust and respect of transgender students requires educators to uncover any internalized transphobia and recognize personal biases. Some allies find it takes time to mentally de-align gender and genitalia. Still, adults cannot show up for youth without honestly accepting their feelings and beliefs. If they skip this crucial step, youth will notice. This is the case for Todd, who is genderqueer and can read their teachers’ facial expressions as measurements of acceptance and safety.

Once educators recognize their own behaviors and microaggressions, they’re better equipped to identify microaggressions, bullying and harassment when they happen in schools. Even if it appears minor, these behaviors need to be interrupted in the moment. Too often transgender students expect no assistance from teachers; being ostracized becomes the norm. As one trans middle school student—who is now homeschooled—attests, “As long as it doesn’t escalate to a screaming match, they think everything looks fine.”

Furthermore, the interruption does not have to be impeccable. Eager recommends, “Just say something. You may screw it up, it may not feel comfortable, it may not be perfect. But saying something is better than saying nothing, and you need to say it because everyone is watching to see if they are going to be safe.”

If necessary, distinguish between the personal and the professional. Lead author of the resource guide Schools In Transition, Asaf Orr, stands behind educators who are “on board” regardless of their personal beliefs. “In their private lives these educators may not be supportive of gender exploration,” Orr notes. “But when they get to school, they know it’s critical to be 100 percent supportive of a kid’s own gender exploration, and they ensure the space for them to do that.”

Educators can support their trans students by including nonbinary identities in the curriculum. As Cameron asserts, “With every sex ed class we have that’s not inclusive, and every English class where there’s no inclusive literature, there’s another trans kid that feels so alone.”

Recognizing nonbinary gender identities depicted within student work is also important, as youth are likely to reflect themselves most accurately. One agender-identified seventh-grader, Jace, remembers feeling safe after a teacher commented on their agender character drawing, saying they “looked cool.”

Finally, do not assume. Nontransidentified adults, says Cameron, “are never going to be able to fully understand what any trans person is going through. Adults need not question the way a person feels about themselves, because they do not know. They are never going to feel the same way. And we have to figure ourselves out.”

Transgender youth know what they need to feel safe. Strong mentors ask them.

#trans #gender #pedagogy

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