#dad’s also gone through some major health stuff in the past year so I’ve been ruminating a lot

[terrainofheartfelt]

A list of things about my dad for Father’s Day

- wanted a daughter so badly that when I was born he burst into tears.

- saved me from a collapsing swingset when I was toddler. I don’t remember it but he will never forget it.

- his name in my contacts is Grande Chevo after the nickname the indigenous locals gave him during a charity trip to Chihuahua, Mexico where he helped vaccinate the livestock

- we have a running list of Non Sequiturs. the most recent addition is “No, that was a completely different gorilla.”

- he keeps an ongoing collage in his home office that started when I was a baby. (He gave up the one he had in college when he joined the ministry/got married/became a father because it was nsfw, so I’m told)

- the collage of now has a photo of him in front of the original collage, cigarette in his mouth and cowboy hat on his head, likely the most cool he’s ever looked

- calls his home office The Batcave

- every time I mention an opera title that’s new to him he asks, “Is that the one with the Barber in it?”

- he saves up his quarters to give me for my coin-operated laundry, and hands them off in recycled pill bottles

- prepandemic he had a career as an amateur Santa for several Christmases. So much that he owns his own suit

- had an enemies to best friends arc with my cat (they’re besties now)

- had an enemies to best friends arc with me*

*I was a Momma’s Girl as an infant and a bit of a misandrist but now my dad is one of my favorite people.

[bookofmirth]

I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself. 

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre. 

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right. 

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years. 

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X7

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

They did it! I can’t believe it! They actually killed DeLuca off! I’m so happy right now! As long time readers will know I have never been a Andrew DeLuca fan and I speculated back in the summer that they might be planning to write his character off after it was revealed that the planned finale for Season 16 included an explosion that was supposed to claim the life of one of the characters. I speculated that DeLuca was the most likely candidate with Tom and Jackson being the most likely runners up because I felt that they had gone as far as they could with DeLuca’s character and there wasn’t much left for him to do on the show.

Add that to the fact that the actor who plays DeLuca said a bunch of stuff to the press last year where he spoiled some pretty major plot points and stated that he knew things about where the show was going when he hadn’t even read a single script for the season yet and I was pretty sure his days were numbered. That being said, the show had teased us a bunch of times about firing, killing, or writing off the character during seasons 15 and 16 and they never went through with it so a big part of me was skeptical that they ever would.

But it turns out I was right! His days were numbered and they wound up killing him off in the Mid-Season Premiere! I’m still in shock. It hasn’t really sunk in yet to be honest. This episode honestly made me wish we’d gotten to see the remaining episodes and finale of Season 16 as planned. Based on what we know it looks like the plan was for Richard, Bailey, Meredith, and Carina to stage an intervention, DeLuca was to go away and get treatment and return to the hospital only to die tragically in an explosion.

Season 17 would have opened with the characters finding out about that and mourning his death and I think it would have been interesting to see Meredith navigate that as in the Finale Hayes asked her out and she said yes. It seems likely that if the COVID-19 Pandemic had not hit when it did and shut down production and altered filming for this season we would have seen Meredith and Hayes go out for a drink and start dating.

Seeing Meredith navigate the loss of her ex-boyfriend who she was no longer close to while in the beginning stages of her relationship with Hayes would have been very interesting and I’m sorry we didn’t get to see that. I’m also sorry that due to safety restrictions Meredith and Hayes haven’t had much screen time this season, but it looks like that’s about to change as I’ll get into a bit later.

Back to the episode at hand. I never liked DeLuca as a character and I hated him with Meredith so I’m glad that they killed him off and that we never have to deal with that nonsense again. I’m glad that they caught the human trafficker Opal and took those people down. I was never super invested in that storyline so I’m glad they wrapped that up. I feel so bad for Carina though. She’s a great character and is wonderfully acted by Stefania Spampinato.

My heart broke for her in this episode because while I won’t miss her brother I know that she will and will be absolutely gutted when she finds out that he’s died especially after she worked so hard to get him help and treatment for his Bipolar Disorder. I’m glad she has Maya there to support her.

LOL at Bailey sleeping through the whole damn episode! What did I miss indeed! That poor woman slept through DeLuca getting stabbed, almost dying, not dying, having surgery twice, and then actually dying as well as the other shenanigans going on at the hospital. I loved that she was asleep at Meredith’s bedside especially after they spent a good chunk of Season 16 fighting.

I also feel really bad for Richard in that he’s obviously grateful that DeLuca helped save his life and wanted to help and when Owen turned him down because it wasn’t a good idea for him to scrub in Richard lurked in the background in the OR gallery the whole time to make sure that everything was okay. Plus he can’t talk to Meredith about it right now because she’s in a coma which must be so difficult for him. The extra stress also puts his sobriety at risk and that worries me.

I got to be honest I am struggling to understand Teddy’s point of view this season. She’s being really awful! She’s being cruel to Tom. She was cruel to Owen. I don't know what Teddy expected to have happen. Both Cristina and Amelia walked away from their marriages to Owen and moved on with their lives in large part because they realized Owen was in love with Teddy and always would be.

And then she finally gets what she’s wanted all these years and the minute she realizes Amelia’s baby might be Owen’s and not Link’s she runs back to Tom and has a several months long affair with him and then drops him like a hot potato as soon as she realizes that the baby is Link’s and after Owen finds out about the affair she refuses to talk to Tom for months and then comes crawling back to him and wants to be his friend after Owen makes it clear he wants nothing to do with her. WTF?

I feel bad for Tom. I really like his character. He’s super interesting and complex and he deserves better than someone who treats him like that. Tom is a good man at heart and he treated Teddy like gold and in return she’s done nothing but break his heart and stomp all over him when he’s already down. He deserves someone better. I’ve never been an Owen fan, but honestly Teddy is behaving so horribly I’m on his side on this one.

They had some great scenes in the OR together, but Teddy clearly read too much into it. Every time he gives her a crumb she’s convinced he’s forgiven her and wants to give her a second chance and that’s not it at all. Owen has been clear. He doesn’t forgive her and he doesn’t want to get back together with her. All he wants is to co-parent peacefully and work together as colleagues because he values her skills as a surgeon. That’s it.

It was cute to see Teddy Face Timing with Leo. I’m glad they are finding safe ways to incorporate the kids into the story. Speaking of which, the scene where Amelia and Maggie tell Zola that her Mom has been placed on a vent and she might not come off it was heartbreaking. That kid has grown into her own as an actress and really holds her own in that scene.

Her line about how she didn’t want them to tell Bailey or Ellis yet because they’re too young to understand broke me heart. Zola’s only a few years older than them but she’s old enough to understand the impact of what’s happening in a way that they can’t. And she remembers how hard it was when Derek died. When Cristina left. When Alex left. She doesn’t want to put her siblings though the same thing especially when Alex’s departure is still so fresh for them and they never got a chance to really know their Dad. The fact that Zola can recognize that at such a young age is raw and heart breaking.

We saw Winston and Maggie reconnect this episode which would have been super hot and enjoyable if Meredith hadn’t just been put on a ventilator! The scene where Jackson showed up looking for Maggie was too funny! I loved the scenes with Jackson, Link, and Winston in the backyard having beers! Winston has a great sense of humour and seems to be a calming presence. I like the idea of those three being friends.

Link’s face when he realized that Winston doesn’t know that Maggie and Jackson used to date and are also step-siblings. I’ll be interested to see Winston’s reaction when that comes out. I loved Link’s rant about how worried he was about Meredith and what her declining health and potential death was doing and would do to Amelia. Did anyone else catch that he called Amelia his wife? I’m calling it. They’re foreshadowing an Amelink wedding!

I liked hearing Jackson talk about how Meredith is family and they’re all worried and Winston’s comments about how all they can do is just keeping moving physically and metaphorically. I’m also loving Amelia and Maggie’s wardrobes this season. Their sweaters in this episode were gorgeous! Hats off to the wardrobe department! They’re looking good!

I loved seeing Jo and Hayes work together again because I love their friendship, but to be honest I was expecting more of the friendly teasing and banter of last season where she egged him on about Meredith and they traded barbs. Their scenes in this episode were a lot more intense and agitated. She totally played him with that line about Meredith.

He kept saying no to taking Luna to see her Mom and so Jo made it personal for him. If Meredith asked to see her kids Hayes would never say no and he would move heaven and earth for her. By making that connection Jo got him to agree to her plan. I also love that the reason he kept saying no in the beginning was because of what happened to Meredith.

She went from laughing and joking to being put on a vent and he doesn’t want to run the risk with any other patient and it’s obviously eating him up inside. He misses her. He cares about her and he’s clearly terrified about the possibility of her not waking up. That being said, Jo’s line where she compared Alex leaving her for Izzie because he found out he had kids he didn’t know he had and sending her a heartfelt letter to Hayes spending years watching his wife and the mother of his two boys die of cancer was way out of line. Super not okay. I really think that Jo is going to adopt that baby. I think that’s why they are setting up her interest in OBGYN.

In other news, Nico is still a terrible boyfriend to Levi. I honestly don’t know why Levi puts up with him. Levi really shone in this episode I think. He felt responsible for what happened, but instead of bungling things and making things worse like he might have done in the past he got out of his own way and asked Dr. Khan who was a vascular surgeon in Pakistan prior to immigrating to the U.S. to take his place.

I feel like this episode implies that the Beach is limbo now as I don’t know how else DeLuca could have ended up there as he wasn’t someone who was close to Meredith the way that Derek, George, Richard, and Bailey are. Not sure how I feel about that as I was kind of liking the is it a COVID dream is it the afterlife ambiguity.

Onto next week’s promo! I’m not excited that they appear to be setting up an episode in which the other characters mourn DeLuca’s passing as none of the other characters apart from Carina were really that close to him. They spent the last two seasons establishing that everyone hated his guts, considered him a nuisance, and only put up with him because they had to. So to me the other characters mourning him doesn’t feel authentic or real. It just feels forced.

There are several things I am excited about though. Seeing Maggie’s reaction to his death I think will be interesting. She was visibly upset and ran to his side when Alex beat him up in Season 13 and mourning the loss of your ex-boyfriend who you were no longer close to while being in a committed relationship with someone new I think is an interesting dynamic. She’s kinda standing in for Meredith here because she’s on a vent.

I’d like to see Catherine support Richard and make up for her horrible behaviour last season. And the best thing of all: Hayes!!! In the promo trailer we see Hayes sitting at Meredith’s bedside talking to her about how she needs to fight and how they all need her to fight. Bring it on! It’s about damn time! And Derek’s back and he’s … fishing? I’m excited to see what happens there and if they actually get to talk and have a real conversation this time. It has also been announced that Sarah Drew will be returning for a cameo as Dr. April Kepner this season so I’m excited for that!

Until next time!

[eujazmine]

⟨ RYAN DESTINY. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JAZMINE HARPER is actually a descendent of H E C A T E. it’s still a question of whether or not the 23 year old BUSINESS MAJOR from HOUSTON, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite PASSIONATE & MISCHIEVOUS.

hi everyone it’s rae #2 again 😔 but allow me to introduce you all to my darling jazmine, who is a revamping of a couple muses i’ve played in the past. as always, like this post and i’ll hit your dms!

History (death tw)

claimed at birth in houston, texas since her father could see through the mist. her father started physically training around the age of three. it wasn’t anything too crazy at first, since she was only a toddler when they began, but her father wanted her to have a head-start athletically. on her 6th birthday, hecate gifted her a spell book and required that she started her magical training.

she started attended camp elektra in california during the summers when she was seven years old. at some point, her father got married and started having more children. when she was twelve, he announced that they would be moving to new york for her new step-mother’s job. that summer, she attended camp half-blood, and leaving for camp was the last time she had seen her texan home.

it was around that time that her and her father’s strong personalities truly began to clash. they had different visions for jazmine’s future, and she started to resent being under his control. it also frustrated her that she couldn’t alter his perception via mist, which led to even more complications whenever she was caught doing so to her step-mother.

she spent nearly two years with her family in new york. after nearly getting expelled from school and having too many issues at home, her father sent her away to year-round camp in greece by the time she was 14.

due to extensive training, she was among the top-ranked during her time at camp athens. she devoted much of her free time, including summer breaks, to questing and rigorous training, and was often recruited through the school for selective quests.

once she graduated, she tried staying with her father in new york again to work and save money, but this only lasted about six months. she went back to europe to travel and she fulfilled quests for money to support this new lifestyle.

at 20, jazmine had another terrible fight with her father. she left and hasn’t seen him since. after this, she started to take questing seriously again. she went on more dangerous and complex quests, knowing there was no one really out there waiting for her safe return.

then came 2019: the zeus incident. she, celeste (daughter of zeus) and adelphie (daughter of apollo) teamed up to retrieve poseidon’s trident from zeus. these three had quested in the past, and were a notoriously powerful trio, but they had never gone against celeste’s own father.

by the time they had defeated the guard monsters and reached the trident, zeus had become aware of what they were up to. he killed adelphie on sight. as jazmine futilely tried to heal adelphie’s lifeless body, celeste used this moment to carry the trident back to the ocean via the wind. soon enough, zeus zapped celeste off the mountain. whether the god of thunder hadn’t seen her hiding in the darkness or he just didn’t care, she’ll never know, but he spared jazmine and left.

after carrying adelphie back down the mountain and presuming that celeste was also dead, she came across rostam, who had prophesied that something would happen at the mountain. he helped her bring her friends back to eonia, where she was allowed to rest and enroll for the following semester.

now, she’s at eonia studying business because 1) she has nowhere else to go and 2) she doesn’t think she wants to fight her whole life anymore. 

Personality

being able to manipulate mortals as a child has made her view people more as vessels of entertainment or stimulation, and it shows. her sense of humor primarily revolves around teasing others, such as mocking them or playing tricks on them, and her blunt remarks can often be perceived as quite insensitive. she is very observant and has no problem using this trait for blackmail or manipulation, but she uses this to provide frank judgment or advice when asked. “0 to 100″ is a pretty accurate way to describe jazmine -- meaning for the most part, she has a calm, cool vibe, but her hot-temperedness can quickly get her in trouble. she can be impatient, vengeful, and petty, refusing to be the bigger person or the “loser” when crossed. stubborn and prideful, she could hold a grudge forever until she serves her own sense of justice or receives external mediation.

her bluntness and outbursts might give off the impression of her being mean, which she kinda is sometimes, but she isn’t that mean. she’s a compassionate person, and she’ll often help others if she feels sorry for them, despite trying to brush off their problems as beneath her. this is especially true when it comes to her friends. although she can be particularly harsh with them, her fierceness also comes with extra love and protection.

Powers

her most powerful ability is mystiokinesis, but it didn’t come easily. like other children of hecate, her magic is strongest at nighttime and very limited during the day. she was given a spellbook once claimed and has been perfecting her craft since. her magic gives her a limited grasp of all kinds of abilities, but she is most skilled in the areas of magic that have helped her the most on quests, such as vitakinesis, offensive spells/curses, and magical tracking. she works hard to improve her mystiokinesis through camps and personal training, but she is prone to overdoing it and negatively affecting her own health.

mist control is her secondary ability. it was the first of her powers to develop. as a child, her suggestions seemed to be a little too convincing to mortals. although it wasn’t fool-proof, she found herself manipulating people’s perceptions in her favor, possibly to get herself out of trouble or solely for entertainment purposes. she mostly uses it to her advantage around mortals or on quests. at eonia, and hasn’t found much use for this skill at eonia.

umbrakinesis is definitely her weakest power, but she would love to be more skilled in it. it has been the most difficult for her to develop, so she can only sometimes use the shadows as a shield or as a method of travel during the night. however, she has been able to levitate since she was a kid, which has been pretty convenient ever since she learned how to control it.

Extras

tl;dr: retired adrenaline junkie prone to moodiness

she has been at eonia since summer/fall 2019. you can get some more details about that last quest on celeste’s intro and self-para, if you haven’t already! feel free to assume that your muse had heard something about it.

she’s very hard-working and puts 110% into the things she cares about. the number of hours she has devoted to magic and academics is endless. neither of these areas come super naturally to her, so she has to work extra hard to develop them to reach her standards.

those 2 years she spent traveling europe and questing for cash?? she was living her best life. she used mist control and mystiokinesis a lot during this time to do things like avoid getting arrested, sneak into fancy masquerade balls, crash weddings, and waive any extra fees she couldn’t afford. she’ll bring up a wild memory from time to time if the conversation calls for it, but it’s rare for her to give out too many other details.

character inspo: think michelle jones (1), jessica huang (1, 2), hotaru imai (1, 2), fallon carrington (1, 2, 3), mal (1), daoming si (meteor garden), jennifer pierce (1, 2, 3), sam puckett (1), rosa diaz (1, 2, 3, 4)

works at the dining hall. she doesn’t care about this job and therefore puts no effort into it, so don’t expect a smile or cheery tone from her when you walk in.

involvements: black student union, gamer’s guild, football (soccer)

a skilled fighter, she is well-versed in swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, but she prefers using magic since it comes from her godly lineage.

she’s been playing soccer since she was a child, a sport her dad forced encouraged all of her siblings to partake in. although her and her father had many other issues, this actually wasn’t one of them, seeing as they both shared a genuine love for the sport. she’s known for being overly aggressive and instigative on the field, so she's at risk of losing her position if she starts any more fights.

Potential Connections

ex: there was probably never any official title tbh so she might even claim that they weren’t exes. jazmine’s a very private person and finds this kind of stuff too vulnerable, so maybe your muse got tired of being treated like a secret.

quest mates: could’ve been for anything tbh, but if your muse was significantly weaker than jazmine, she would’ve for sure let them know.

tutor: she works hard to maintain her grades, but sometimes she needs the extra help. 

people she protects: for whatever reason, jazmine has a soft spot for your muse, so she’ll take care of them when they’re sick, bring them home from a party, put a curse on their ex, you name it.

past hookup: she never called. consider yourself blocked.

friends: self-explanatory! unlikely friends, friends who bond over mutual hatred, frenemies., etc.

enemies: her moral ambiguity and rude remarks probably rub some people the wrong way, so enemies wouldn’t be too surprising.

clients?: i’d imagine that some people have paid her in the past to bring misfortune to their enemies. they probably paid her some money to put a lil curse on them. it’s never anything permanent. if they paid her extra, maybe she did some research and brought them something to blackmail them with.

targets: the people that her clients have paid her to curse. she’s just a third party trying to chase the bag, so no hard feelings, really -- but if your muse somehow found out they got cursed by her, she’d be willing to reverse it for a price.

pawns: maybe she views them as weak. maybe she just finds them funny. either way, she has little respect for your muse and will mess with them for her own entertainment. it’s all in good fun!

people she met while exploring europe: she was up to a lot of shenanigans during those two years, so the possibilities are endless.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

What storyline would you like to see with Aaron. I have been trying to think of his next story and I just can’t think of anything good that they can do with him.

That’s sort of the problem isn’t it. I mean, with this coronavirus stuff, who even knows when they’ll get back to making the show but...

I kind of hope they scrap whatever they were doing with that audition thing.

But I very much struggle with what they can do with him now too.

- they’ve done a finding himself/identity sort of story with all his coming out stuff.

- they’ve covered first love

- he’s had his great epic love story and anything now is going to feel inferior or like a retread. Especially if they do anything soon.

- he’s played support to a tragic illness/disability story

- they’ve covered off his traumatic past

- he’s done dodgy criminal stuff before so anything there will feel like a retread.

- they refuse to give him any kind of proper mental health diagnosis to the point where now it would almost feel silly to do a big story on it

- he owns his own business and his own home so he doesn’t even really have those steps to take

- they’ve already given him a long lost sibling

They’ve done a lot with his character over the years. So it is hard to see where they go from here. Married, settled Aaron had new places to go but single Aaron really doesn’t.

- an illness story is something he hasn’t had but who does that affect now if he has one. He has no major friendships. It would just be Liv and Chaddy and honestly, what is even the point.

- he could have a career change, ditch the scrapyardb and buy into the garage but that’s not much of a long running story although it would allow him to interact with more characters potentially. There’s everyone’s favorite idea of him becoming a counselor or something, which means he has to go back to school but that mostly feels self indulgent on our parts.

- I thought single dad Aaron with Seb was one of the best directions they could have gone. That’s years worth of story in a single decision but they seem determined not to give me that. So how could Aaron get a kid? If he were to need a guy, the guy would either have to have a kid already or it would take years to get to the point they’d have a kid together. My best option is still that he finds a stray five year old hiding in the scrapyard who has either been abandoned or run away from an abusive situation and then they bond and he fights for and advocates for said child and then you know, has a cute child to interact with. But that is also super self indulgent. Still would recommend though.

- they could give him a real new friend. Have him support someone through a story and build a friendship off of that. Just to give him new people to interact with.

- relationship wise, they could go the domestic violence route because I suppose there could be something interesting in looking at that in a gay couple and I could see how he could get in that situation if his family was pushing him into something new. But I don’t know that I want anymore abusive relationships/stories on the show right now. Plus it’s more crying Aaron.

- they could give him a serial killer/stalker boyfriend just to have a fun villain. That would be lighter fair in some respects than the above idea.

But otherwise....other than village nonsense and Liv and Chaddy stuff (blech), I’ve got nothing. He really is a challenging character at this point.

So Ryan will just have to come back.

[sorrynotharry]

You don’t be on here no more and that don’t sit right with me. This was my go to page in 2014-2015. Then you left!!!

Aww hello anon! Thanks!

I am definitely almost always lurking on this page, like a ghost in the night haha, however I know that I’m not nearly as active as I used to be, and I haven’t posted any fic in like.........3 years? Maybe 4? Jeez time really flies!!

I do often get messages like this, usually very sweet anons like you who ask where I went, how I’m doing, saying that they miss the times when my page was more active and I was posting Harry fics pretty much weekly and honestly, I miss it too! It was overall a very positive experience during what ended up being some overall not-very-positive years of my life. 

I’ve wanted to post a little ‘update’ for a while and I think this is as good a time as ever to do that. I’m gonna put it under a cut for 1, length 2, potential triggering content regarding death/grief. So anyway here goes:

This is mainly me kind of going on a reflection rant so it may not make a lot of sense but I’m going to do my best!

So I started this blog in February of 2014, and I think I pretty immediately started posting my writing and to my astonishment I ended up getting lots of new followers and readers really quickly. I was not at all expecting this blog to EVER reach as many people as it has, but I’m so grateful for it. To be honest, of course the 1D fandom can be a complete clusterfuck, but in comparison with other fandoms that I’ve been involved in, this is definitely the one that I felt most “at home” in, and had the most fun being a part of. So so so many of you who are still around to this day (which is incredible to me!) were SO kind to me, so lovely and accepting and supportive of my writing and my little blog corner of the internet and it meant so much to me. There are friends I’ve made through this blog who I still talk to, people who have been there for me when life was really kicking me down the road.

For some context, since the start of this blog, both of my biological parents and my stepfather have passed away. My dad (who I wasn’t super close to but you know, still my dad) passed from cancer in April 2014. My stepfather who I lived with died in June of 2015, also from cancer (if you’ve been on my blog for a while you might remember this, I posted about it because it was very sudden and I was really struggling with it). 

Then, in August of 2017, my mother died. This has been part of the reason I really kind of stopped being active in this blog; I wanted to talk about it, if even just to say that I was going on hiatus or something but my grief has been so powerful that it’s in the last few months that have I felt like I can actually type these words out on here. 

My mom was chronically ill for most of her life, and her health really deteriorated in the last 7-8 years of her life. She was also my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything from the time I was a child. The last 6 years of her life I was her main caregiver with some help from my stepdad - when he died all of her care fell to me to handle on top of grieving him. It was May of 2017 that my mom made the decision to go into hospice (if you don’t know what this means, it basically means she didn’t want to have life-saving treatments anymore and wanted to be allowed to pass away in peace). My sister and I begged her to hold on for a few more months so that we could prepare, get her affairs in order, and be on summer break from school while we accepted the fact that we were losing our last living parent. 

That summer passed in a very weird and painful blur, and honestly I don’t remember much of it, but I remember most the moments in her last weeks when we would just hold each other’s hands and talk, laugh, cry, whatever came up. If you’ve ever begun grieving someone before they even pass, you probably know what I’m talking about. It was in those moments that she very insistently made me promise her that I would keep taking care of my sister (who was only 16 at the time) and graduate college, that I wouldn’t just lay down and give up because she was gone. So I have done my best to honor that promise to her. I quickly got legal guardianship of my sister (she’s an adult now but we still live together and are very close), and less than a month after my mom passed, I was training for a volunteer position at a center on my new college campus which later turned into a paid position. And this past June I graduated!!

If you’re reading this and also class of 2020, you know it’s a sucky year to graduate lol, but I hope you’re able to be proud of your accomplishments because regardless of the circumstances, you still did it! It’s taken me years and years to get my Bachelor’s because of changing my major, having to take breaks due to mental health issues and relocations, and having to take only 2 classes at a time while working 2 jobs. I finally did it and now I have to figure out what my next steps are from here (in the middle of a whole ass pandemic no less, smh!). 

I realize that I just basically wrote a whole essay that I didn’t necessarily mean to, but I promise I’m not saying all of this to make you feel sad for me; I just want you all to understand why my presence has been so sporadic the past few years and I feel like I just have to be honest.

Coming back around to this blog, every once in a while I check my activity and follower count, very much expecting to see naught but 12 bots left and a single tumbleweed blowing across a dry activity page...but that’s never the case. So many of you are still here, I get new followers all the time, my fics and posts still get notes almost every day, and I still get messages like this from people who care about me, who remember the heyday of this blog and miss it.

I’ve said ‘thank you’ to you guys so many times I don’t even dare to count, but really, honestly, truly, thank you. It’s because so many of you are still here, even though it’s been 4 full ass years after I’ve even posted any fic at all, that I haven’t deleted this blog or gone on indefinite hiatus and just archived this blog. 

I can’t promise that I will ever post any new writing again. I still love Harry but it’s almost in a different way...the heart-racing, goosebumps raising, heart-eye inducing giant crush I had on him in the earlier years of this blog has significantly subdued, even though it’s been known to make its presence known from time to time. And I honestly am just a different person in general. You can’t go through stuff like what I described above without changing at least a little bit. 

That being said, I don’t think I’ve written anything that wasn’t a college essay or long-winded work email since I posted my last one-shot on here, which I think was early 2016. I very much miss writing for pleasure, and particularly if anyone remembers the fic ‘On Fire��...that story sits untouched and neglected in my Masterlist, haunting my steps and my dreams, because I had all kinds of grand ideas for it and it was pretty well-received I think! I’ve toyed with the idea of just trying to finish that fic up, if only so I can say that I finished at least ONE multi-chapter fic in my whole life. Again, not making promises, but it’s a possibility. 

Anyhoo, if you have made it this far down on this very long and dramatic post, again I say thank you and bless you! I hope for those of you who have been around for a while (and for that matter those who are newer followers as well, hello!), this provides some clarity and maybe some closure if you were just wondering where the hell I went and what I’ve been up to. I didn’t mean to kind of drop off the face of the earth like I did, it was just how I was dealing with everything at the time. I’m heading into a new chapter of my life now that school is finished, and who knows what that will bring, but for now, I’m still around, and I hope you’re all as safe, healthy, and happy as you can be right now :)

Thank you again and take care <3

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you an aunt or an uncle? Nope. Who did you last hug? My mom. Did you get anything super cool for Christmas? I got the iPhone 12 Pro Max. Where are the majority of your clothes? In my dresser. I have a pile on my bed and some stuff hung up in the closet as well. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I would hope not? I never understand this question. 

Have you ever wanted to be a marine? No. Is beer good or nasty to you? Blech, I never cared for it. Who took your default picture? Myself. Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? Nope. Who was the last person to make you smile? My mom. Were you pissed off when you woke up today? No. Are you single / taken / crushing / confused? I’m very single. There’s not even anyone I’m interested in or talking to currently. Would you rather have a hookup or a relationship? A relationship. Are gonna have a baby by the time you’re 18? I’m 31 and baby free. I don’t want to have children.  Does your mommy still do your laundry? She does. I need help with certain things and laundry is one of them. Will you be dating anyone in the next two weeks? Nope. Or anytime soon. Do you still care for your first love? I don’t have romantic feelings for him anymore, but yeah I’ll always care.  Has your heart ever been broken? Yes, in the romantic sense and in other ways.  Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes. Have you ever dated a ‘Tom’ or ‘Garret’? Nope. Are you happy with your life right now? No. I haven’t been for a long time. What do you think of your principal? -- Who did you last share a bed with? My mom when we stayed at a hotel during our last vacation. Can a relationship last without sex and still be good? For some couples it could be. That’s between the couple. What color is your blanket? It’s a rose gold throw blanket.  What do you think about clowns? I like Pennywise. Have you ever ‘turned your swag on’? I have zero swag. How was your day today? It’s been okay. Are you a control freak? No. Who is one person you would do anything for? My loved ones. How long is your hair? It’s past my butt. How well would you say you know your parents? I think I know them very well.  Have you ever felt isolated or alienated? I’ve felt isolated, especially these past few years. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? Uh, there’s been a lot of things. My family alone has done so much for me throughout my life and then there’s friends in the past who have done nice things as well. Have you ever believed you were going to die? What happened? Yes. One time was due to a bad edibles trip, others were due to my hypochondria, and others were serious times where I really thought I might. If you were given a thousand dollars that you could not keep, would you give it to a person or a charity? Why? I think I would give it to my mom.  If you could spend a day with one person in your extended family (still alive), who would it be? One of my aunts that I’m really close with and haven’t seen in over a year. Is there any artwork in the room you're in? Describe it. I have a few giraffe paintings. One of them is wearing a sweater and it’s super cute, haha. Who was your best friend in high school? Are you still friends today? My freshmen year and part of sophomore year it was Kyle and David, my sophomore and junior it was Derek and Gabbie, and my senior year my middle school best friend, Amanda, and I reconnected and became best friends again.  What is the longest period you've gone without having sex? 31 years so far. How far into the past/future would you want to travel if possible? I wish I could revisit my childhood. Have you ever known someone who appeared to have everything? Yeah. Things aren’t always what they appear, though. What would you do to cheer up a friend going through a break up? I’ve been there and I just tried to be there for them when they needed to vent and while they cried. We usually would get food, too, cause ya know that can be comforting. We’d just hang out.   List your favourites: book, song, movie, colour, place? Ya’ll know how hard it is for me to choose favorites with most things. I can list my favorite colors, though, which are pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.  Who taught you the most about life (ex. a parent, grandparent, friend)? My mom. And my own experiences. Which ONE of these things would you take if you had to evacuate your house immediately: photos/photoalbum, laptop, phone, a book or your childhood comfort object? Gahhh, that would be so hard. I’d probably grab my laptop. What is your dream job and what steps will you have to take to attain it? I don’t have one. :/ What is the newest piece of furniture in your house? The oldest? The newest are the couches we got a few years ago. I’m not sure about the oldest, there’s a lot.  What was the last conversation you had about the future? With who? My mom and I have talked about future travel plans recently. Who knows when we’ll be able to travel, though. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? I have been told that I’m picky. When was the last time you went to a bar? Sometime 8 years ago. What three things would you change about your life? My health, financial situation, living situation (my family and I have wanted to move for so long but haven’t been able to). Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? I was a C-section baby. What has happened in the past week that is worth remembering in five years? Nothing significant has happened. How much of your day did you spend completely alone? Uhh, just like the first hour when I got up until I dragged myself outta bed. What is the next book you are going to read? I just started the first book in a series, so I’ll read next book when I’m done. Why did you last see the doctor? I have to see my pain doctor once a month in order to get my prescription refills.  What do you want to accomplish tomorrow? I have my Bible study work to do. List the cards in your wallet. I’m not doing that. What was the last thing to inspire you? Uhhh. I haven’t felt inspired in a long time. :/ Who was the last person to do something nice for you? My dad. What was the lowest point of this year? The highest? We’re only halfway through January, so I can’t say yet. What is your number one short-term goal? Long-term? I need to set some goals first and then actually work toward them. Are you dealing with anything difficult at the moment? Health stuff. What's the view like from your bedroom window? Right now it’s pitch black out, so there’s not a view at all. During the day it’s not much better, though. I just see the top of my neighbor’s roof, top of the fence, and part of a tree. If you had to change a tire right now, would you know how? Nope. Are you really pale? If so, do you mind? I am. I’d like to get a little more color. Have you ever taken a picture of yourself kissing someone? I didn’t take the photo, but I do have a photo like that What was the subject of the last list that you made? It was a grocery list. Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? My brother’s is next month. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I was a teenager.  What are the last three songs you listened to? I don’t remember. I haven’t been listening to music lately. Which languages can you speak fluently? Just English. Where was your Facebook profile picture taken? In my room. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? Nope. How many hours do you work a week? If you don’t work, do you plan on finding a job? If so, when? No, not at this time. Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take them. When is the next time you will be going out of town? I have no idea at this point.  Do you have Netflix or Hulu? What was the last thing you watched? I have both. I just finished Dare Me on Netflix. Is there anybody you seem to constantly run into somewhere? No. I also don’t go anywhere, so. When you were fourteen, who was your favorite band? I was into alternative stuff and mainstream.  How old was your mom when she had you? She was in her early 20s.

[technicolordeams]

So some things happened this past week since I wrote my last entry and I'm rethinking my stance on leaving or not. I was able to talk to the one girl who is befriending me and my pastor had a long talk about what makes me me and what I struggle with. I followed what my therapist told me to be which was to be more assertive. I felt very awkward and scared to do it but if I didn't, I'd end up right back where I was feeling anger and abandonment. So for now, I'm still on hold on what to choose to do.

But a couple other things popped up. Not too big but unsettling. My mind just blanked on one of them so I'll just type about the one that's stuck out the most to me right now since it happened literally within the past hour.

So obviously I have problems eating enough to keep my weight stable, let alone gain any without a LOT of work. I've been struggling with it since my gallbladder decided to take a shit on me and demand to be removed which happened on my birthday. During that time I started getting suicidal again and I hadn't dealt with those intense emotions regarding it in several years. But since December it decided to rear it's ugly head and bite into me as hard as it could ever since. It's been 8 months now with very little improvement. And during that time span my health has tanked. I developed breathing problems after my surgery which was horrific enough as it was (imagine not being fully awake but aware that you are out of control of your body and unable to utilize your coping techniques. Just like having a massive panic attack like seizure feeling but you are barely able to be aware of anything besides the viceral fear and blackness because I couldn't wake up. Just... Out of control. And you have no idea how long you were in that state before the nurse could sort of pull you out of it and even communicate more than like two words and slowly peek my eyes open a fraction. Yeah, that's what happened. I had major fear over that for at least a month. Sleeping was hard enough from the surgery and adding in that... Yeah no.) Anyways, since that started up and obviously after surgery it's hard to eat and stuff like that normally. But after the surgery I was (am) having breathing problems. I would have endless coughing fits that would even hit me and make me unable to take a full breath without coughing horribly whatever air I could get right back out. It also made me almost throw up several times (which is my biggest phobia that triggered my eating disorder to go out of control and send me into hospital stays and feeding tube hell). So at least I lost 10lbs since the surgery or even before that. I creep closer to 15lbs though most likely. I haven't been keeping track of it very much because of how much distress I've been dealing with. And I've been dealing with A LOT. Things I wonder if I will be able to get up from without more intense medical help that I probably can't get because of covid.

I've gone through several tests to see why I'm having coughing fits and every answer is that they don't see anything wrong. Well, the ENT appointment I went to the day before I went to see the pulmonary doctor really screwed me over tbh. The ENT doctor gave me steroids that day that I took that same night and told me that the pulls wouldn't affect the asthma test they were going to perform next day. It did. So I had to wait like two months before I could go back and be re-tested. But then covid hit and those practices have been closed ever since. So I can't get an accurate reading on what's going on. They did spot that I had some breathing abnormalities but because of the steroids, they couldn't say for sure. Mind you I had to literally book these doctor appointments and tell my dad you have to take me to these because he didn't think it was that important. Which has pretty much been like everything doctor related that has come up this past year. Just had to put my foot down and tell him I NEED to go to these and I'll be going whether you agree with me or not. Which adds to the distressed feeling and like I'm overreacting and being too paranoid or some shit. Also because I couldn't get actually tested for asthma properly, my regular doctor had to prescribe me with an inhaler but insurance won't help because I have not been diagnosed with it. So I had to cough up (almost literally) over a $100 for medicine that we don't know is right for me or not or whatever.. so that's like $60 every two months? Idk. Which is a lot considering I have a bunch of other bills to pay which includes when I got my wisdom teeth removed (ALL FIVEEE because I'm that extra) which cost $3,000. I have to pay my mom back for another at least year? I don't even know anymore at this point.

I've also been dealing with vision blackouts recently where I almost pass out when I get up here and there. My blood pressure tanked and went to like 70/52 and pulse all over the place. That's better now at least. Chronic fatigue, dehydration, can't sleep very well... Etc. Vitamin D and B12 are on the lower side of the normal range and my body isn't producing enough carbon dioxide.

Now along with all of this bag of shit, I have lost every friend I thought I had and the feeling that I can call anyone friend anymore. I am terrified of calling anyone a friend now because I am afraid that if I let someone in, I will be taken advantage of and lied to like I have in almost every type of relationship I've had since I was little. I am afraid of speaking because I am afraid what I say will offend or upset or whatever someone when all I do is mean well (usually unless you're an asshat). It has made me regress back to my childhood where I couldn't trust anyone and I had nobody except for a penpal on the east coast to keep me company through msn messenger, emails, or rarely phone calls. She was the only one I could call my best friend for a long time and the only one I could open up to about things and the only one who tried to consistently cheer me up when I was hospitalized at 16 by spamming me with emails. I will forever love her and no matter how far we've drifted apart over the years, I will still love her and respond to her as quickly as possible if she ever needed me again. But if we never talk again I'm okay with it. We were there for each other during really bad times in out lives and I like to think we kept each other somewhat sane. She has done more for me than I could ever ask anyone and I'll always be grateful to have "met" her.

But since all of the shit happened with my ex friends... I don't feel safe to get very close to anyone or open up to anyone. Even the girl who defended me and stuff when I was being bullied and manipulated hardly speaks to me now. I wouldn't want to talk to me very much either if all I had to talk about were extremely negative and talk about dying. I can hardly go to my parents about things. I am home alone with just my puppy that likes to get into mischief about 80% of the day. Hardly interact with people online. Usually I just now watch YouTube videos about what's going on with people. I find very little satisfaction playing video games or anything honestly. I have lost art, something that I loved dearly and way too much. I cannot go out most often due to my health. I am stuck at home. I can hardly go outside too. It's too hot (sometimes heat can trigger flashbacks), I found out I'm allergic to grass, and last week I broke out in hives from God knows what so I can't go outside even more. I was put on steroids again for 6 days which causes your immune system to weaken so it won't produce histamines that causes the INSANE itch because every topical and oral medicine OTC would barely help at all. All I do each day is very basic hygiene, sleep when I can, eat as much as I can, and try and relax while taking care of my puppy.

Only two good things has come from all of this: one, I can finally work with a trauma therapist. Hopefully she can help me. Two... Ah I forgot what the second one was actually. Maybe being able to talk to my psychiatrist more frequently? Not sure. I'm very tired right now again lol.

All I know is that I feel very much alone and there's nothing I can do about it. The world outside is extremely dangerous and I am trapped inside my mind too frequently. And there is no extra help I can get.

So all of this led up to my main grievance for today- so far at least lol long ass story to tell just to explain what I'm upset about. My mom earlier asked me if she could give me advice. I told her it depends on what it's about. But she said it anyways. Told me to check my weight each week. She knows I'm not in the most stable state of mind and she knows that me checking my weight constantly can cause a panic attack of it goes down. (thankfully it hasn't really in a month. Only reason why I know is because I had to go to my doctor's twice the past month) I told my dad what she said and he just told me to say okay and leave it at that.

I know I don't want to go back to the state I was in in 2017. I don't want to go through that hell again. Even if I did want to, there'd be way more restrictions with the threat of covid ravaging our place and infecting everyone there. When I pass the eating disorder clinic that I was forced in when I was 16, there is literally nobody there. Maybe a couple cars but they obviously are not treating kids right now. I may be wrong but it would be very dangerous. I know over at the ERC I went to in 2017 is extremely limiting any visitors from coming. The apartments when you graduate to living in temporarily while you go to just a day program only allow maybe two people to stay there at a time and instead of walking to the van pickup spot, they pick you up at your apartment. Psychiatric wards here, or at least one of them that my therapist and I talked about going to, is still slightly operational, but it's over Zoom. So you literally can't get very good support. If you fall off the deep end while at a meeting nothing can be done to help you right there and then if you run away from the meeting.

My psychiatrist told me that if I do feel that I'm in grave danger (I think the trauma therapist I met also said the same) was to go to the ER. But I am afraid to go to the ER and then be turned away quickly and also take a chance that I might catch Covid while there, not to mention the price... And since my parents are essential workers, any one of us could come down with it at any time or be a carrier without knowing. So I'm isolated from people in real life and I don't feel safe talking to anyone online as well. Even if I had someone who wanted to talk to me to begin with that isn't some creepy horny guy wanting pixel sex... I can't think of anyone who I could potentially talk to about anything in my life... I'm just so lost and afraid of both the virtual and real world... Who can I turn to besides my therapist, psychiatrist, or maybe parents depending on what is bothering me, and of course God? I'm told I need a support system. But I can only talk to the doctors so much and my parents aren't very good at being compassionate... I have no one.

I also think about how badly I want to be hospitalized for a little while just so I can get fluids and rest and proper care but that most likely will only happen unless suicide was a big risk.

I am utterly alone...

If anyone reads this long post to the end, you're a crazy human being. xD Going to stop rambling now and put the dishes away and put the pup away for his nap and try and get one in myself.

[aion-rsa]

How The Walking Dead: World Beyond Expands the Zombie Universe with Its Unique Teen Characters

https://ift.tt/3kB7pU3

After its premiere was delayed by several months due to COVID-19, the two-season The Walking Dead spinoff series The Walking Dead: World Beyond finally makes its debut this week. The story expands the TWD universe in a unique way, taking place 10 years after the zombie outbreak and focusing on a predominantly teenage cast of characters. Unlike the battered groups of survivors from The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead, these teens have been sheltered from walkers (or “empties,” as they’re called on this show) within the walls of a university in Omaha, Nebraska, a thriving colony that has afforded them a relatively normal, safe life post-outbreak.

But, as fans will learn from the very first episode, the Campus Colony (as it’s referred to) does have a seemingly precarious arrangement with the Civic Republic Military (CRM), whose ominous helicopters act as a narrative thread that ties the three shows together. It’s safe to say you’ll learn way more about this mysterious faction in World Beyond than ever before.

The show primarily centers on sisters Iris (Aliyah Royale) and Hope (Alexa Mansour), who leave the safety of the University in search of their father, brilliant scientist Dr. Leo Bennett (Joe Holt), who they’ve learned is somewhere in New York. Joining them on their mission are fellow student Elton (Nicolas Cantu), a resourceful scientist and historian (who also happens to know karate), and school janitor Silas (Hal Cumpston), a soft-spoken social outcast whose murky past has earned him a questionable reputation on campus. The teens are tailed by battle-tested adult guardians Felix (Nico Tortorella) and Huck (Annet Mahendru).

Last fall, I visited the show’s set in Richmond, Virginia, where filming was underway for episode 7 of the show (alas, there were no CRM helicopters in sight). The location was an old waterpark called Hadad’s Lake, which was appropriately creepy-looking. The abandoned facilities looked dreary and greyed-out under the looming rainclouds — the juxtaposition of a children’s park rotting in a post-apocalypse seemed to fit the show thematically as well.

Huddled around a table with other members of the press under a tent that sheltered our equipment from the occasional drizzle, we were joined by the cast members one by one to talk about their respective characters and what fans can expect from the show. Here’s what we learned:

Iris

“Iris is smart and caring and loving and doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body,” Royale says of her character. “She really wants to make sure that every single person that she encounters is taken care of and has what they need. At some point she realizes maybe it’s time to start doing things for herself and when she makes that switch, it is a roller coaster of events.”

Serving as the beating heart of the show, Iris is an overachiever on campus and a compassionate leader amongst her peers. She’s got a tight bond with Hope, and while Iris is generally viewed as the more straight-laced, level-headed of the two, the absence of her father compels her to make the drastic decision to venture out beyond the University walls for the first time.

“The mission for Iris is: where’s my dad at?” Royale explains. “I want my dad back. The other side of that is, Iris is following in his footsteps. She’s super involved in science, biomedical engineering, all of those things that her father’s brain is being used for…that’s exactly the path that she’s going towards. Saving the world.”

At the University, though the majority of students haven’t encountered empties, they’re trained by instructors like Felix to defend themselves against the dead, including with a weapon called an S-pole, a staff with a retractable blade at one end. Iris is a fast learner, although she quickly discovers that no amount of training can actually prepare her for the horrors that await in the real world.

“She’s got a lot of information stored up here,” Royale says as she points at her head. “But the minute that she encounters the first walker, it’s this just absolute fear. As much as you learn, as many books as you read, you could never feel [that fear] until you’re in that moment. You’ve got your four best friends next to you, and it’s you or the empty.”

Hope

“She doesn’t give a shit about anything,” Mansour says of the rebellious Hope. “She lives for today and I mean, realistically, she doesn’t think she’s going to live tomorrow. She’s pretty sure she could die at any moment and I don’t think she really cares. So she gets herself in trouble, doesn’t care what people say, and is always doing the opposite of what Felix tells her to do. It’s kind of ironic that her name is Hope because she really doesn’t have any of it.”

Hope and Iris have a tight bond despite their polar opposite temperaments and outlooks on life. “They’re complete opposites,” says Mansour. “Iris is the one that will be off studying until four in the morning while Hope would probably be partying until four in the morning. But they love each other. I think they really do balance each other out. Iris will bail Hope out whenever she is sneaking out and doing stuff that she should not be doing, and Hope would take a bullet for her sister.”

As for Hope’s lack of, well, hope, in human beings and their future prospects on the planet, Mansour made it clear that this speaks to a pressing real-world issue of mental health that affects teens everywhere. As someone who was bullied for her ethnicity (she’s half Hispanic, half Egyptian), she feels World Beyond and the platform it’s given her will allow her to help teenagers who are struggling like she has.

“I really hope they realize that they’re not alone,” Mansour says. “I think it’s important for kids who are watching this to take away that it’s okay to be open about what you’re feeling and it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling and it’s not the end of the world, it is going to get better.”

Felix

“Felix is the head of security detail at the university,” says Tortorella, who also reveals that his character identifies as queer. “He is kind of an adopted son to the girls’ dad. He had a troubled childhood dealing with his family coming to terms or not coming to terms with him being gay. He’s very much a hero. He protects the people around him in a way that’s contradictory to the stereotype of like what a gay character usually is on television. And that’s why I was really excited to play this role.”

Tortorella, who identifies as genderfluid, felt drawn to the show and the The Walking Dead franchise for its strong representation of marginalized communities. “The diversity was a huge thing coming into it, you know? We have people from all walks of life on this show. Genders, sexualities, race, religions. It was a no brainer for me.”

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Hope and Iris’s father took Felix in as family after the outbreak, and Felix’s made a promise to take care of the girls at all costs. Unlike the sisters, he and his partner Huck have seen action outside the Campus’ walls, which makes him a formidable fighter. When Iris and Hope escape the walls of the colony, Felix and Huck quickly give chase.

“Yeah, he’s in full dad mode all the time with these kids,” Tortorella explains. “I think that like after the first episode, the stakes are at maximum levels in terms of our safety and our fight for survival. And Felix is the one that has the most training in terms of any sort of military background that we know of.”

Huck

Huck is Felix’s right hand, dear friend, and confidant. She sports a sizable scar across her cheek, which all but confirms she’s been through some tough shit.

“Huck comes from a Marines background,” Mahendru says. “When you first meet Huck, you just know the scar. There’s a story [behind it]. She is an independent thinker. She’s really tough, but she’s really hopeful and really positive and warm and is adamant about bringing the world back to what it was. She wants as many people to live as possible.”

As for Huck’s relationship to the sisters, Mahendru says that she has a deep connection with Hope, who she sees herself in. “She was a bit of a rebel when she was young, [too]. They have a big/little sister relationship, and I train her how to fight. I want her to survive out there. I mean I’m going to send her out there and so I’m responsible for her. I really believe in her potential and I feel her pain. I’ve gone through the same similar things.”

Elton

“Elton is a very intellectually curious child,” Cantu says. “He has been sheltered from the world outside with a bunch of horrible, horrible things happening out there. So he’s kind of trying to understand the world for what it is and how nature is changing along with most of humanity. He’s on a journey to analyze and document and just see what this new world is about.”

A classmate of Iris and Hope’s who offers to join them on their quest to find their father, Elton admits that the outside world isn’t exactly foreign to him.

“Elton has been outside of the walls before because he does a lot of experiments outside,” Cantu explains as he motions to the mustard-colored, corduroy suit he’s wearing. “It’s bite proof, which Elton learned through controlled experiments. So he kind of has a little bit of a glimpse as to what the outside world is. But once he steps out there, it’s intense.”

Cantu says he sees a lot of himself in Elton. “I really do relate to Elton. I mean, he’s kind of got this view of the world where he’s very blunt with it. He knows a bunch of the threats out there. He realizes stepping outside of those walls is going to be a life changing thing. The world is brutal and he has just come to accept that. So if it’s coming down to survival, he’s ready, he’s prepared, he’s got everything on lock. And I feel like if I was in an apocalypse, I would prepare similarly to Elton.”

Silas

“He’s been shunned by the particular community they’re in. People refer to him as a monster or just completely shun him. It’s like a Boo Radley type of character,” Cumpston reveals about the quiet Silas. “No one knows his exact story, you know what I mean? When kids hear something then they exaggerate and that type of thing.”

Cumpston, a young Australian actor and filmmaker also feels he relates to Silas. “Yeah, everyone’s felt like an outcast. There’s definitely been situations where I’ve felt like an outcast. I’d be a funny kid at school. I joined a soccer team and there’s already these different funny personalities [on the team] and I’m just sort of like the quiet kid who’s also not good [at soccer]. I’m like, ‘Oh, fuck. I need to make up for it by being funny but there are no opportunities.’” 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Unlike his three teenage counterparts, Silas isn’t a student at the school, and he’s got little excuse not to join the others on their quest, seeing as he hasn’t got much going for him at the Campus.

“He’s just a janitor who no one speaks to and everyone refers to as a monster,” Cumpston says. “When he walks past people on campus, you can hear that people don’t have very nice things to say about him. He catches wind that there’s an [opportunity] to prove to himself and these other people that he’s not a monster.”

The Walking Dead: World Beyond premieres on Oct. 4 at 10 pm ET on AMC.

The post How The Walking Dead: World Beyond Expands the Zombie Universe with Its Unique Teen Characters appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[aceofstars16]

Okay so this is a very salty and long rant about Endgame, if you haven’t seen it, don’t read it, if you liked it, don’t read it, if you liked how Steve’s story ended, don’t read it!

This is literally me just yelling, please please PLEASE don’t take this as an assault at you. I know people liked it (I don’t understand why but I’m not trying to be a prick) and you can like it, I just have major issues with it and I wanted to get my feelings out.

This is not meant to start flame or anything, so please if you have different opinions, don’t add if onto this, you can make your own post but please leave this one be *flops*

Okay now that that’s out of the way...salt time...

I’m pissed...I’m beyond pissed. The more I think about it, the more I HATE the ending of Endgame because it was an unfair and unsatisfying ending to SO MANY characters.

This is going to be incoherent because I just need to vent so much I’m just so ughhhh

Okay so, first off, I think MAYBE I would’ve been okay with the ending if they hadn’t done what they did with Steve. But that RUINS what Tony did because why in the heck does Steve get is a selfish happily ever after and live a long life with Peggy who ALREADY HAD A HUSBAND AND A LONG HAPPY LIFE while Tony who has a WIFE and a 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DIES AND THAT’S A GOOD ENDING????

Like, I love Steve, but his entire life he’s been selfless, it’s who he is, or was I suppose…but then he just up and leaves Bucky and Sam despite everything we’ve heard him say, “I’m home” when he’s at the compound, he’s accepted that he can’t go back, and even reiterated in Endgame with moving on. But then, NOPE he goes back and gets his happy ending despite it probably messing with the timeline like crazy??? Like, seriously, if the Russos stuck with their time travel logic where if you change the past, then that will branch off to a different timeline, then STEVE WOULDN’T EVEN BE IN THE SAME TIMELINE OF THE SAM AND BUCKY WE KNOW?!? (don’t get me started on the whole thing about how Past Thanos was killed so then if he was dead then no one would’ve been dusted in the first place and like what this heck this does not work at all what the actual heck? So much of the time travel stuff is so freaking confusing and makes no sense...) Back to Steve though, this is a terrible lesson to teach people too? Like, “oh if you can’t move on then stay stuck in the past, you can’t actually go back in time like this character though so haha too bad!” it’s just…a terrible lesson???

And then Tony, gosh don’t get me STARTED on Tony. Because he deserved SO MUCH BETTER! Much like Steve in AOU, accepting that the compound his is his home now, Tony had said he wanted to build a farm for Pepper, he wanted to retire, he wanted to be able to LIVE HIS LIFE. The only reason he felt like he couldn’t was because of the threat from Thanos and HE COULD’VE LIVED A LONG LIFE WITH HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER but NOOOO, he has to die because…why? He’s the key to everything? Well heck yeah, he’s the one that MADE the time machine, THAT’S why he needed to live, not because he needed to die to stop Thanos. Because he’s proven over and over again that he is willing to die for the world, so why does he have to actually go and do that??? I mean I loved the total BAMF moment because Thanos does NOT mess with Tony, but like, the heck? Tony deserved so much better. And you know who else deserved better? FREAKING PETER PARKER! I am SICK AND TIRED of the “mentor has to die so the student can grow” trope, I hate it, burn in the fire. It’s SO OVERDONE and it’s like “oh you can only grow if someone dies!” like no??? Like, give me Tony retiring and Peter trying to find his place again after missing 5 years and learning how to be a hero on his own? You don’t need to kill Tony to do that? Especially when you could just delve into Peter still missing Ben? Like, I liked them not doing ANOTHER origin story because we’ve seen it, but why give Peter a mentor just to kill him after two stinking movies? Oh, for shock factor. As if Peter hasn’t already been through enough. A HERO DOESN’T NEED TO LOSE EVERYONE TO GROW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO KILL A CHARACTER TO MAKE ANOTHER GROW?!?

Oh and then we have PEPPER AND MORGAN. Pepperony has been built up for YEARS, it’s the oldest MCU ship, it’s the heart of the MCU (and Tony is also the heart, so you just killed the heart of the MCU, congrats Russos, you done murdered the whole universe) it’s been building up for YEARS. Steggy is great, but they had one movie? I mean yes, there were other parts in the other movies, but it was more of a bittersweet, we can’t go back and that sucks but sometimes life sucks and you have to move on, YOU CAN’T GO BACK IN REAL LIFE, THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT REAL AND SOMETIMES SUCKY, BUT YOU CAN MOVE ON. And people might say you can say that for Tony, which I could see ONLY IF THEY HADN’T GIVEN IT TO STEVE ON A SILVER PLATTER. You can’t say “oh move on at least he got 5 years in a war torn and broken world” while also giving another character that has been shown to have already moved on a perfect long life with a wife and kids. That is just SPITTING IN THE FACE OF TONY AND THE WHOLE MCU! (and Steve too…cause it’s SO OOC for him to be so selfish and also leave Bucky like “yo hey I’m leaving you in this future world so I can live my life in the past, oh and I’m not going to stop any of the stuff I know if going to happen, yolo!” I’m sorry but that is not MY Steve Rogers)

Morgan loves her dad, she deserves to have a dad that is alive and well. Peter deserves a mentor that doesn’t die because he’s already lost HIS dad AND uncle. Pepper deserves her husband who she has loved for years and only got five short years with (because in the span of things 5 years is NOT that long at all, like Steve got a lifetime, if he had kids he got to see them grow up, go to school, go to college, get married, and have kids…and Tony didn’t even though he was the one that already had a kid????)

And then there is the whole “oh well it’s surprising and no one expected that!” Well screw that, I was already surprised by a lot of the movie, it was a wild ride the whole time, I liked most of it up till the end (there are a few qualms I have with other things but those are minuscule compared to the ending, and this is already so freaking long). You don’t have to have the most shocking ending to have a good movie. Give me a movie with twists and turns that make sense (still don’t know where the heck Loki went by the way…) and then an ending that is worthy of the characters, of their personalities, of their stories, their lives, their development.

Endgame did not do that. They went for the heartbreaking and the unfair and selfish route. It wasn’t satisfying, it was a slap in the face for the fans. I know some people liked it but I’ve seen SO MANY TONY AND CAP STANS that HATED IT! If you done mess up two of the six main characters story arcs just to be edgy or “real” or “unpredictable” then I say screw you. The only reason I’m seeing Far From Home is because of Peter. I honestly don’t know if I’ll watch other Marvel movies after this…I’ll have to see but if they treat my favorite character like this well then, I don’t trust them with anyone.

And you know another note that I’ve seen people make and I agree with wholeheartedly? Actually two notes, but both have a similar vein…Thor’s heartbreak, depression, and survivor’s guild it boiled down into a fat joke. That’s NOT something to joke about??? Also, I liked him talking with his mom but…you can’t just…talk to people that are gone, yes you can remember what they said but you can’t physically talk to them again. I would’ve loved for Rocket and Bruce to actually have been able to help him instead of bribing him with beer to get him to even come to the compound. It’s a spit in the face to Thor and anyone who has gone through immense loss…

THEN we have everyone who suffers from anxiety and/or depression. Who saw themselves in Tony, who gained encouragement from him, to press onward despite their mental health, to see that they can keep going, they can do this. It’s scary and hard but if Tony Stark can do it I can do. And then what does Endgame do? It up and says “oh you can only rest when you die haha sucks to be you!” NO, give me Tony who still has his bad days but can smile because he still has his family and his friends. Who can keep living despite the mental illness because he still has so much to live for, to give hope to people who are going through crap. Because Tony has been through crap but he never gave up and he can be happy, so maybe they can be okay, they just have to keep going, like Tony.

I’m just…the more I think about it the more pissed I get and I’m just so done right now…

THEY ALL DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS CRAP RUSSOS FIGHT ME YOU IDIOTS

[airoasis]

The 1 Bitcoin Show- 2018 is a crypto weed out year! Web bot noise is silenced! Strong hands remain

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-1-bitcoin-show-2018-is-a-crypto-weed-out-year-web-bot-noise-is-silenced-strong-hands-remain/

The 1 Bitcoin Show- 2018 is a crypto weed out year! Web bot noise is silenced! Strong hands remain

Hello each person that is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one Bitcoin exhibit this is carrying a Hollywood in l. A. In these days is December the twelfth 2018 powerful hand worth your wealth in Bitcoin these two sayings of mine are going to be the sayings of the day check out the links below of path get your t-shirts all that excellent stuff anyway i am close Santa Monica Boulevard and Western correct now you will discover the Hollywood Hills in the history quite a distinction to the stuff I mostly talk about i’m ordinarily within room providing you with real-existence stuff that’s myth up there others the real-life illustration of delusion and everybody wishes a excellent delusion Hollywood ending sort of movie they want their Bitcoin to head up in phrases of Fiat perpetually and ever they worth their wealth in greenbacks no longer in massive valuing your wealth and dollars that is the mainstream way that is the Hollywood method all correct so i am gonna talk about today what it quite method to price your wealth and huge coin and in apply and what it way to have that robust hand provide examples that when I used to be in school at Washington college in st.Louis I was a industry major I was once a advertising and marketing important however I knew humans who need to be doctors they usually needed to take the organic chemistry classification and so they all stated or go or go is the weed out class that’s whilst you get weeded out if you are not meant to be a doctor that is what you get weeded out so this 2018 that we’re residing in proper now this is a weed out 12 months for a Bitcoin for crypto currency there’s all these individuals shedding like flies it was giant talkers they’d gotten weeded out they took or go they couldn’t cut it they’re long past they’re most likely back in some kind or fashion they’ll attempt to come back once more at some point however for now they’re long past they received weeded out so what you could have left are these strong hands humans who don’t care concerning the past worth they be aware of they have got Bitcoin and they value their out there the identical quantity of Bitcoin as they did earlier than initially panel that like button should you like the true East Hollywood type of books of l. A. Here this is that is the actual stuff happening i am standing proper via is that the 101 they are the highways correct next good enough and 1/2 that you only like to peer the portraits anyway you handiest like the surroundings now although if half of of you 20 individual i do know wait up all correct so let’s get back right here this video is for all of the 20 percenters in the market they do not get distracted but background the Hollywood signed by means of all that nonsense so there there was plenty of folks again in 2017 maybe even again in 2017 traditionally would ask me they’re like hello did you hear what internet bot had to say did you hear what cliff I needed to say about this crypto he says to buy this altcoin and he is is a– his winbot says that bitcoins gonna be three three three three three or four four four four four eight eight eight men and women be contacting me about this stuff all the time no longer a lot anymore no person has contacted me about cliff hello internet bot magical mystery numbers the magical altcoin that some magical wet bob is pronouncing is gonna be the next thing you already know nobody’s contacted me about that they obtained weed it out now I went over to that dude I seemed him up that man’s I cannot speaking about Bitcoin and crypto and but humans are ripping on him jus some individuals have long gone after that wet bot dude click on hi they’ve gonna and they’re but every time it is now not worth my time to move cuz i am a optimistic man i am just puttin out dad this dude is talking about conspiracy theories that additionally he eats he’s moved on he’s gone on to anything extra widespread that’s these are their tread they’re humans who get into tendencies and then they’re persons with robust fingers who persist with this thing through in poor health and it no matter where they’re if they may be in Hollywood if they are in Baltimore if they may be in Tel Aviv and if you’re looking at this i’m on my way to Tel Aviv this is taped definitely so weight on one aspect we acquired the clip highs of the sector and all those followers who just simply disappear after they go and get hard they usually go they go talk about conspiracies or anything he’s speak I do not know what that I do not know what the thing what the new modern day thing is marijuana stocks i do not even recognize i don’t even be aware of what the trick i am now not into Trent’s i am into the rock I mean it is a large one however then we have now these the reverse of folks like that or those whose all my show the opposite day is the dwelling embodiment of robust hand of valium you’re welcome a coin and it is any individual like Francis Puleo who’s starting a trade Volpe coke he is commencing his trade for the duration of this so-known as down mark it’s on a down market this is the time of possibility 20 percenters like Francis who don’t get distracted via traits and pretty faces that is when they their companies that is when they relatively lay the groundwork for huge things and on my show on Monday night despite the technical difficulties that i know some folks they shouldn’t have the patience to sit down by way of technical difficulties although on YouTube readily just quick forward and i would says in the notes earlier than and notes beneath that video rapid forward that is boring you’ll get to the place Francis talks about how he is working on a project that’s making developing full nostril convenient for like mothers and fathers convenient as developing your internet connection as handy as setting up your uh your IP or some thing your gear Africa not what is Jerry with that your internet connection I do not know what’s what’s unplug Abul we’d like in case you have a non plugged within the web what’s that anyway it isn’t important what that is it’s as easiest can’t believe of the Dave correct now anyway so yeah d so we obtained the individuals who constructed value they had been in most cases enormous after which we obtained humans like Francis or speakme about magical pal he used to speak about any all see bristle not now not yet you might be as Bitcoin maximalist if you wish to be that’s cool Bitcoin first er that is me you do not you do not ought to be Orthodox in regards to the Bitcoin maximalism so as to appreciate this can be a time of possibility and will have to be in a position to price your wealth and repair okay and did not get caught up and these magical computer machines that predict numbers and i present consider the emails I used to get for humans it’s gonna hit 6666 it can be acquired a success he is and no emails like that anymore those predictions are concerned however they knew God they have you long gone but we haven’t you inspiration so for the people who’ve a new go for the individuals who value their wealth and colossal one and once more i’ve been through this earlier than i have been by means of this 2014 and 2015 also these are weed out years also however for the humans which can be here let’s you already know we men and women talk about Bitcoin millionaires giant food billionaires let’s transfer on from that cuz you’re let’s fill the Fiat paper now we obtained a better evaluation right here this is that truck move wait perhaps I should uh should I alter that there so you’ll find the Hollywood sign even more yeah that truck transfer i can see some more stuff there for you individuals who want to see the look you got to travel guys see l. A. Pound that like button simply don’t get caught on the East Coast the place it can be cold i know so many humans you are like crops you stick yourselves in a in ny you by no means go away you received to return out here believe me will not ever wish to depart but i’m a visitor man I continuously all I invariably need to see new matters i am invariably expanding my mind consuming new bit fooling individuals available in the market all right so that instead of saying a large 20 millionaire I bought you already know we obtained this metric procedure in the us we use veteran approach I hyperlink to it beneath okay the prefixes so that you would be able to be a 1-bit pointer ok you would be a Jessa colossal corner that would be a individual with greater than factor one massive okay you could be a deca Bitcoin er that’s anyone with at the least ten you would be a heck the tremendous pointer a man that use a heck the gigantic pointer that conveys he is a heck I don’t know i’m simply turn that out then which you could be a killer Bigfoot yeah that hint endure dude he’s regularly a kill of it that is what you intention to be you intention to be a millionaire you goal to be a killer tremendous pointer or a hit the tremendous anyway so pound that like button let’s make a and again maybe that is no longer the terms we want to do to hooked up to rank wealth ok but we wish to rank it extra a gigantic coin scale now we do not need to get caught up on this millionaire well he is a millionaire she’s a billionaire he is 1,000,000 trillionaire no no no no we’re gonna get into this heck the huge corner factor get your get your a hundred colossal pointer you obtained 100 enormous blink you are a head to giant coin and it is convenient to be a deck of Bitcoin her however purpose goal to be a kilo Bitcoin er like trace endure with the aid of me or like king of the trolls might had been as soon as all right that is it that’s i have not do an external exhibit everybody invariably wishes to look some external stuff after I’m on the road like this i’ll be in Tel Aviv actual soon perhaps i’m going to do some outside in Israel I suppose you obtained the point of this video have a strong hand price relative Bitcoin there there are without doubt this yr has weeded out the entire fakes the entire eighty percenters and now you see now you see who truly values which might be welcome humans who real has a powerful hand i am adam meister meister disrupt meister apart from John likes fishes which I got appear discovered that freaking mild button

[batterymonster2021]

The 1 Bitcoin Show- 2018 is a crypto weed out year! Web bot noise is silenced! Strong hands remain

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-1-bitcoin-show-2018-is-a-crypto-weed-out-year-web-bot-noise-is-silenced-strong-hands-remain/

The 1 Bitcoin Show- 2018 is a crypto weed out year! Web bot noise is silenced! Strong hands remain

Hello each person that is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one Bitcoin exhibit this is carrying a Hollywood in l. A. In these days is December the twelfth 2018 powerful hand worth your wealth in Bitcoin these two sayings of mine are going to be the sayings of the day check out the links below of path get your t-shirts all that excellent stuff anyway i am close Santa Monica Boulevard and Western correct now you will discover the Hollywood Hills in the history quite a distinction to the stuff I mostly talk about i’m ordinarily within room providing you with real-existence stuff that’s myth up there others the real-life illustration of delusion and everybody wishes a excellent delusion Hollywood ending sort of movie they want their Bitcoin to head up in phrases of Fiat perpetually and ever they worth their wealth in greenbacks no longer in massive valuing your wealth and dollars that is the mainstream way that is the Hollywood method all correct so i am gonna talk about today what it quite method to price your wealth and huge coin and in apply and what it way to have that robust hand provide examples that when I used to be in school at Washington college in st.Louis I was a industry major I was once a advertising and marketing important however I knew humans who need to be doctors they usually needed to take the organic chemistry classification and so they all stated or go or go is the weed out class that’s whilst you get weeded out if you are not meant to be a doctor that is what you get weeded out so this 2018 that we’re residing in proper now this is a weed out 12 months for a Bitcoin for crypto currency there’s all these individuals shedding like flies it was giant talkers they’d gotten weeded out they took or go they couldn’t cut it they’re long past they’re most likely back in some kind or fashion they’ll attempt to come back once more at some point however for now they’re long past they received weeded out so what you could have left are these strong hands humans who don’t care concerning the past worth they be aware of they have got Bitcoin and they value their out there the identical quantity of Bitcoin as they did earlier than initially panel that like button should you like the true East Hollywood type of books of l. A. Here this is that is the actual stuff happening i am standing proper via is that the 101 they are the highways correct next good enough and 1/2 that you only like to peer the portraits anyway you handiest like the surroundings now although if half of of you 20 individual i do know wait up all correct so let’s get back right here this video is for all of the 20 percenters in the market they do not get distracted but background the Hollywood signed by means of all that nonsense so there there was plenty of folks again in 2017 maybe even again in 2017 traditionally would ask me they’re like hello did you hear what internet bot had to say did you hear what cliff I needed to say about this crypto he says to buy this altcoin and he is is a– his winbot says that bitcoins gonna be three three three three three or four four four four four eight eight eight men and women be contacting me about this stuff all the time no longer a lot anymore no person has contacted me about cliff hello internet bot magical mystery numbers the magical altcoin that some magical wet bob is pronouncing is gonna be the next thing you already know nobody’s contacted me about that they obtained weed it out now I went over to that dude I seemed him up that man’s I cannot speaking about Bitcoin and crypto and but humans are ripping on him jus some individuals have long gone after that wet bot dude click on hi they’ve gonna and they’re but every time it is now not worth my time to move cuz i am a optimistic man i am just puttin out dad this dude is talking about conspiracy theories that additionally he eats he’s moved on he’s gone on to anything extra widespread that’s these are their tread they’re humans who get into tendencies and then they’re persons with robust fingers who persist with this thing through in poor health and it no matter where they’re if they may be in Hollywood if they are in Baltimore if they may be in Tel Aviv and if you’re looking at this i’m on my way to Tel Aviv this is taped definitely so weight on one aspect we acquired the clip highs of the sector and all those followers who just simply disappear after they go and get hard they usually go they go talk about conspiracies or anything he’s speak I do not know what that I do not know what the thing what the new modern day thing is marijuana stocks i do not even recognize i don’t even be aware of what the trick i am now not into Trent’s i am into the rock I mean it is a large one however then we have now these the reverse of folks like that or those whose all my show the opposite day is the dwelling embodiment of robust hand of valium you’re welcome a coin and it is any individual like Francis Puleo who’s starting a trade Volpe coke he is commencing his trade for the duration of this so-known as down mark it’s on a down market this is the time of possibility 20 percenters like Francis who don’t get distracted via traits and pretty faces that is when they their companies that is when they relatively lay the groundwork for huge things and on my show on Monday night despite the technical difficulties that i know some folks they shouldn’t have the patience to sit down by way of technical difficulties although on YouTube readily just quick forward and i would says in the notes earlier than and notes beneath that video rapid forward that is boring you’ll get to the place Francis talks about how he is working on a project that’s making developing full nostril convenient for like mothers and fathers convenient as developing your internet connection as handy as setting up your uh your IP or some thing your gear Africa not what is Jerry with that your internet connection I do not know what’s what’s unplug Abul we’d like in case you have a non plugged within the web what’s that anyway it isn’t important what that is it’s as easiest can’t believe of the Dave correct now anyway so yeah d so we obtained the individuals who constructed value they had been in most cases enormous after which we obtained humans like Francis or speakme about magical pal he used to speak about any all see bristle not now not yet you might be as Bitcoin maximalist if you wish to be that’s cool Bitcoin first er that is me you do not you do not ought to be Orthodox in regards to the Bitcoin maximalism so as to appreciate this can be a time of possibility and will have to be in a position to price your wealth and repair okay and did not get caught up and these magical computer machines that predict numbers and i present consider the emails I used to get for humans it’s gonna hit 6666 it can be acquired a success he is and no emails like that anymore those predictions are concerned however they knew God they have you long gone but we haven’t you inspiration so for the people who’ve a new go for the individuals who value their wealth and colossal one and once more i’ve been through this earlier than i have been by means of this 2014 and 2015 also these are weed out years also however for the humans which can be here let’s you already know we men and women talk about Bitcoin millionaires giant food billionaires let’s transfer on from that cuz you’re let’s fill the Fiat paper now we obtained a better evaluation right here this is that truck move wait perhaps I should uh should I alter that there so you’ll find the Hollywood sign even more yeah that truck transfer i can see some more stuff there for you individuals who want to see the look you got to travel guys see l. A. Pound that like button simply don’t get caught on the East Coast the place it can be cold i know so many humans you are like crops you stick yourselves in a in ny you by no means go away you received to return out here believe me will not ever wish to depart but i’m a visitor man I continuously all I invariably need to see new matters i am invariably expanding my mind consuming new bit fooling individuals available in the market all right so that instead of saying a large 20 millionaire I bought you already know we obtained this metric procedure in the us we use veteran approach I hyperlink to it beneath okay the prefixes so that you would be able to be a 1-bit pointer ok you would be a Jessa colossal corner that would be a individual with greater than factor one massive okay you could be a deca Bitcoin er that’s anyone with at the least ten you would be a heck the tremendous pointer a man that use a heck the gigantic pointer that conveys he is a heck I don’t know i’m simply turn that out then which you could be a killer Bigfoot yeah that hint endure dude he’s regularly a kill of it that is what you intention to be you intention to be a millionaire you goal to be a killer tremendous pointer or a hit the tremendous anyway so pound that like button let’s make a and again maybe that is no longer the terms we want to do to hooked up to rank wealth ok but we wish to rank it extra a gigantic coin scale now we do not need to get caught up on this millionaire well he is a millionaire she’s a billionaire he is 1,000,000 trillionaire no no no no we’re gonna get into this heck the huge corner factor get your get your a hundred colossal pointer you obtained 100 enormous blink you are a head to giant coin and it is convenient to be a deck of Bitcoin her however purpose goal to be a kilo Bitcoin er like trace endure with the aid of me or like king of the trolls might had been as soon as all right that is it that’s i have not do an external exhibit everybody invariably wishes to look some external stuff after I’m on the road like this i’ll be in Tel Aviv actual soon perhaps i’m going to do some outside in Israel I suppose you obtained the point of this video have a strong hand price relative Bitcoin there there are without doubt this yr has weeded out the entire fakes the entire eighty percenters and now you see now you see who truly values which might be welcome humans who real has a powerful hand i am adam meister meister disrupt meister apart from John likes fishes which I got appear discovered that freaking mild button

[evswiftie]

Tay !! It’s Erica , 23 years old here 💕from Washington state 💕 hope you haven’t forgotten about me, I love and miss you every single day, I pray for you and your well being, I defend you to anyone who talks negatively of you and I promote your talent everywhere I go by playing your music and speaking highly of you. You have so much to do with who I am. The wise words of advice and life tips you’ve given through interviews and your poems and writing in your lyrics booklets of your albums have been instilled into my personality, thoughts morals and value. Your music has been there for me through every up and down, every heartbreak with a boy or when a friend decided our friendship wasn’t worth working out. Every accomplishment and every let down in my life. I’ve danced to shake it off for fun and when we got good news my moms cancer was gone and and to fearless and I danced to shake it off when I got bad news because I wasn’t going to let the bad thoughts take over, even when the cancer came back to Invade all over moms body, were still going to be warriors 😇 I’ve very angrily danced to I did something bad and look what you made me do when it felt like my enemies were stronger than me and I was nothing but weak and being used. I’ve cried in a curled up ball to dear john and last kiss, I knew you were trouble and white horse when immature boys didn’t think twice before saying or doing things and shattering my heart into a million pieces. I’ intensely had “ a place in this world” on replay when I was 12 and it felt like I was so lonely at a new school and didn’t belong. And when my mother would send my sister and I on two busses and ferry rides or planes depending on how far away we lived at the time to go to our visitations with our biological dad. Fearless got me through a lot, my wonderful mom really helped build my sister and I up to be independent.
You’re the soundtrack to my life and the best role model any girl could ask for and I loved meeting you in loft 89 Seattle and im so sorry I didn’t tell any of this to you in person because my mind was racing and I just blurt out anything that came to mind. but seeing and hugging you up close meant so much to me and I fear you’ll never actually know how much you mean to me. 
I just want to thank you for being a light in my life especially at all the 7 times in concert I’ve seen you and I can’t wait to see you  6more times (hopefully everything works out!) !  below here is a list of the shows ill be at and with who ! i REALLY miss you and would love  to meet you again if thats okay with you and if not i totally understand if you have to give the opportunity to other fans, just thought id throw the idea out there. I’ve been through so much since we met and id love the opportunity to hug you so tight (i didn’t hug you tight when we met because i was covered in red paint and glitter and didn’t want to ruin your outfit) and i want to talk to you about the things I’ve been through and how your music has been there for me. if i don’t get to meet you then id like to request at least my momma @varelarachel please, not to sound like a sob story or whatever but she was suppose to meet you with me in loft 89 but cancer got in the way, it came and left and its back again, this time its really bad, she had to have major surgery this past march and is in a wheelchair while trying to regain strength and going to chemo. but we bought tickets for her to go with me to the gillette shows way back when tix went on sale before this health stuff happened she  most likely can’t go anymore because it’ll be hard on her legs, unless a miracle happens for her body.anyways ill keep you update on if i get to go or not, i was so excited to go because you always make those shows extra  fun. but she also has herself a floor ticket for the show closest to us (seattle) she’s has a seat by he b stage but were going to have to figure out how to switch from that to a disability accessible seat …. we couldn’t afford for us both to be in the pit ……so if you could maybe meet her at that show!? you would make her LIFE she loves you just like i do and it BROKE her heart when she woke up the morning of the 1989 show to sick to go.but if you don’t have an extra spot for mom maybe could you show her some love by lurking her tumblr fan page for you ? its @varelarachel.  if you’ve read any of this thank you so much for taking the time to and i wish you nothing but the best and i love you endlessly !!!! I’m seriously soon excited to have the tim of my life at the reputation tour and cry and laugh of happiness !! I LOVE YOU 

 if we don't get to meet because of this post then it would just be SOOO COOL if you just knew how many shows i was going to and where or if you even just kept an eye out for me in the pit in seattle !! 

PASADENA  may 18th with @g0ldcage we met on our fan accounts for you and discovered we only like 30 mins away from each other!! well be in section 14H row 4 seat 111&112

SEATTLE may 22  ill be in the center pit (IM SO EXCITED !!) and my mom has a ticket  on floor 11 row 19 seat 16 @varelarachel but if she’s not able to walk okay by then well have to switch her a disability accessible seat.

DENVER ! may 25th with my friend since high school, virginia ! well be in sec P row 33 seat 10  (I’m so stoked to see you come back to the city you stood up to the horrible person who harassed you)

GILLETTE (hopefully this works out and i can go with my mom but if i go with someone else or not at all ill keep you updated ! just incase you care hahah) friday july 27th sec 107 row 7 seat 15 and sat july 28th sec 133 row 6 seat 19

NASHVILLE !!! ill be wit my girl i met on twitter because of you @thetaylorfan well be in section N row 26 seat 17 ! IM STO EXCITED TO FINALLY GO TO NASHVILLE SINCE YOU TALKED ABOUT IT IN THE FEARLESS ERA

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

(Same anon from before)(Hi!) Ahhhh please tell me what the endgame will be!!!! Also, I’m curious to know what the next two fics will be about? It’s so cool you already have two more planned out when I can barely plan out one fic without getting stuck or changing things halfway through 😂

(Hi again! This is the same anon from before, and I’m pretty sure I already messaged you but the wifi near me has been spotty lately so this is just in case my previous ask didn’t go through. If it did, just feel free to ignore this lol) I’d love to know the spoilers about how the fic will end!!! And what are you planning plot-wise for the next fics?? 👀👀 I’m super excited to see what you have in store

AHHHHAHA SORRY THE IRONY IS THAT MY INTERNET IS ALSO BEING A BUTT RN 

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND GET THE ANSWERS YOU DESIRE

anyway here we go, spoilers ahoy!  under a cut because Long and also i’m not sure how many of you even follow this fic 

SO like how in canon Keith wasn’t ready to be the black paladin of voltron when Shiro went missing at the end of s2, in OMHCV Keith just isn’t ready to take care of a child.  shiro is supportive either way, but that’s the bottom line.  like, Keith might be a good dad (probably would be if he chose to take that route) but he still has a lot of issues with abandonment and What Happened During His Upbringing that need to be dealt with, and he knows that on some level.

so, yeah... he’s giving up the Little Alien.

but!  this is not the end!  like his arc in s6, Keith is going to have some development and see a few things resolved in the next two fics that will definitely help him figure out everything else!

in the next ‘installment’, i guess we’ll call it, the major plot sequence is a lawsuit against Zarkon and his company, which gets filed near the end of OMHCV (though House Voltron doesn’t know this is happening).  the suit will go to trial around january/february of the next year, just after the Little Alien is born, and it’ll involve all the shady people and shady deals that Zarkon is involved with.  this includes the Galra--the people that Keith’s dad got in trouble with before Keith was born and the main reason why Keith was raised the way he was.  Keith is going to come face-to-face with his dad again after a long time in the system (paralleling how he and krolia meet in canon) and he’ll have to deal with a lot of mental health issues that stemmed from how he and his dad lived.

ngl, the second Big Fic is going to be hard on Keith.  and everyone, but... especially Keith.  he’s gonna have to go backward a bit before he can move forward.  i don’t have eeeverything planned but i do have a few big arcs and i know it’s going to be.... hm.  angstier than OMHCV?  i don’t have a real gauge for How Much angstier but... it will have ups and downs but mostly downs.  just like... a lot of downs.  but good news!  matt is gonna show up!

now, the third Big Fic is... more amorphous at the moment?  it’s mostly still just a collection of ideas and it’ll definitely be influenced by s7/8 when they come out.  i’ve been thinking for a long time about how i want to tackle the Operation Kuron situation in this series and i had a Very Sad Idea a while ago and... i think i’m just gonna do it, tbh.

SO the idea is that Shiro gets in another accident, right?  and hits his head again.  and it’s kind of his journey through recovery, but also it’s an in-depth look at the symptoms that he has to deal with and how unreliable his mind gets after dealing with a second round of trauma.  i’ve heard that in canon Shiro had a chronic illness of some kind, so depending on how that goes down that might get tied in.  it won’t be strictly Shiro POV because he’s going to be a pretty unreliable narrator (more than he is now, anyway) for the duration of the fic.  also, lotor is going to get involved.  

a big part of that last installment is going to be Keith and Allura taking lead in the House and helping Shiro find his feet again while also carving out their own paths.  and of course, the other kids are going to be working and learning, too.  i think at this point the only one not old enough to leave the nest will be Pidge so it will be partly about how everyone decides to move forward--if they want to leave to pursue schooling and careers away from home, possibly reconnecting with their own pasts as they go, or if they can find a way to do whatever they want to do while also juggling stuff at the House.  the whole family might also move out of House Voltron in a parallel to how they lost the castle in s6!  and, as things shake up, i think that Keith is going to get more involved in the Little Alien’s life.  he probably won’t try to get custody back, but he’ll be there for the little guy.  since he got to House Voltron he’s been learning how to Be Steady and Stay The Course--he’s learning how to be a permanent presence in people’s lives and he’s going to put that into action starting with Shiro and extending to everyone else, including the Little Alien.

....ngl it’s going to be sad.  i make myself sad thinking about all the character arcs and events coming in the future for these guys.  i thought that i’d end OMHCV on a high note and then after that it would just be nothing but found family Fluff but... apparently i’m not capable of doing that so.

if you want to get english class about it, which i always do because i’m an incredible nerd, then the big picture is this: OMHCV is about cohesion, the Second Big Fic is about stability, and the Third Big Fic is about persistence.  those are the major themes, you could say, strung together with a motif of family bonds and found family.  the biggest counter-themes would then be conflict, as seen in the way that the members of House Voltron fight and struggle against each other and themselves as they come together as a family in the First Fic; uncertainty, as Keith and Shiro struggle to bridge the gap between the past and the present in the Second Fic in order to find stable ground and move forward again; and discontinuity, as everyone faces the changes occurring to House Voltron as the kids all come of age and Shiro deals with his own mental and physical health.

OMHCV: conflict vs. cohesion

Second Fic: uncertainty vs. stability

Third Fic: discontinuity vs. persistence

which... is kind of how it’s gone in canon, tbh?  the first season is team voltron finding cohesion, seasons two through ~five are keith (and, separately, team voltron) trying to find stability, and season six finishes up with Keith’s persistence in saving Shiro and protecting voltron, which i’m ASSUMING will carry through to the next season or so, finishing up with victory.

and like... i don’t think there will be a real moment of decisive victory in the House Voltron series simply because the war they’re fighting is just life, you know?  but even so, i’m hoping that there will be something good waiting for them on the other side of all this.  even if it is just all of them, together as a family.

[aireyverkhovensky]

homecoming talk

Good morning, now that I’m finally back in homeward I’m going to go ahead and assume that everyone knows who I am and just move straight on to the subject of this talk, which doubles as my homecoming talk since I just got off my mission like a month ago and also about an old James E. Faust conference talk about how obedience leads to freedom.

Personally, every time I hear someone say something like that my mind immediately jumps to George Orwell’s 1984 so I’m probably not the best person to give this talk. Of course, it really only sounds like that if you reduce the whole concept to a little sound bite. For instance, in the talk itself, James E. Faust quotes David O. McKay in a story about a horse who wants to be free, so he runs away from his pasture, gets hit by a car, and then eats some poisoned grain intended as rat bait and summarily dies. If he’d stayed in the pasture he would have been free to run around all he liked within the safe boundaries of it, and would have just generally had a much better time.

Just speaking for myself, I didn’t really find that the best example of what James E. Faust was trying to say, though. In that case, the reason why the horse died was because he was simply too stupid to live outside of the pasture, which if you applied that to humans would sound incredibly pessimistic and really, downright mean. Fortunately there’s another easy go-to on this subject, that being the Word of Wisdom.

Since this isn’t Utah, we’ve all had the opportunity to talk to nonmembers who are just absolutely shocked that the Word of Wisdom prohibits certain drinks and things like that. We’ve probably all been asked at some point how we could just not drink sweet tea. Younger people have probably, at some point, been asked or will be asked why we can’t do any drugs. To the rest of the world, the Word of Wisdom is very restrictive. It seems that having those rules makes us, by default, less free. But by following the Word of Wisdom, we avoid addiction, which is one of the biggest obstacles to freedom that exists in this world. By following a few rules, we’re able to keep our freedom, and our selves. The same also applies spiritually.

It’s at this point in the talk that I segue into talking about my mission. As many if not all of you know, my entire life as long as I could remember I wanted to go on a mission. This wasn’t necessarily out of obedience to some commandment - after all, I’m not a young man, so it’s not like there was really a standing commandment to go serve a mission. When I got my patriarchal blessing, it did mention missionary work in the sense that it did say very clearly that I would serve a mission, but again I didn’t go because I was obeying the path set out for me in my patriarchal blessing. I went because I wanted to.

However, it can’t really be said that from the start I wasn’t obeying a commandment from God to serve a mission. Maybe I’ve felt that desire my whole life because I got told to do it in the pre-existence. I guess if that were the case I wouldn’t really be able to say. But for the purpose of this talk that’s what we’ll be going with.

Of course, just because God told you to do something doesn’t mean He’s going to make it easy for you. I went home early thirteen months into my eight-month mission. I worked on my papers applying for it for roughly two years. That’s right. I was working on my papers longer than I was on a mission, and longer than I would be out if I’d gone on a proselyting mission. Some of the delay could be blamed on me procrastinating or mis-filling forms, but really not a lot of it. The majority of the delays centered around mental health issues I was literally born with, so I find it kind of hard to just dismiss that as being the fault of the adversary. God kinda set me up there. At this point, I think I could safely say that I was always meant to go on a service mission, and that’s why I got rejected for a proselyting mission… and I know that, since I had always assumed I would go on a proselyting mission, I would have had to get rejected first so that I would know that I had at least tried. I just wonder why it took so long. I don’t have a good answer for that, I might not ever, and maybe that doesn’t really matter.

But the point is that I was absolutely determined to serve a mission, and not even the church missionary department could stop me from doing it. I’m very glad I went on a service mission. I know I did a lot of important things and helped a lot of people. To be honest, I’m amazed I made it as far as I did. Especially in the last five months of my mission, I struggled with medical issues, conflicts with family, and finances. If anyone remembers, my dad lost his job for a while there, and at the time I was trying to pay off a hospital ball and the aunt that I lived with was demanding rent money. I couldn’t afford groceries and pretty much lived off of ramen or free sandwiches provided by a Catholic charity we worked with who made lunches for homeless people. It wasn’t a good diet and because of it, my body grew weaker and I spent the last couple months of my mission exhausted and depressed, and that’s actually the primary reason why I came home a month before the release date they originally gave me when I got an extension.

If that sounds disheartening, rest assured that it was. I remember a financial planning class we missionaries took where we talked about expenditures for the week, and I said that my toothbrush was old and I needed a new one, so my goal for the month was to scrape together enough spare change to get one at Smith’s. One of the elders simply bought a new toothbrush and gave it to me the next day. I cried. I cried because I was grateful, but looking back on it, I start to think that maybe all of that was kind of unfair. I worked so hard and sacrificed so much to go on a mission, and worked even harder once I was out there. But my mental and physical health were circling the drain and there was no one else going through the same issues I was - service missions are still a kind of pilot program, so there aren’t very many of them. My situation was fairly unique to begin with. I ended up being the one who set the precedent for what to do with a service missionary who had to pick between food and a bus pass to get to Welfare Square. I guess in a sense it’s cool to be a trailblazer, but it’s hard to think that there wasn’t anyone out there who could say they knew just what I was going through.

So you might be wondering how I’m going to relate this to the other subject of my talk, the concept of freedom through obedience. Where’s the freedom in this? Well, there’s the obvious answer of no longer being on a mission and no longer having to follow mission rules, but that would kind of undermine what James E. Faust said. I guess the freedom in this case refers to the personal growth underwent both while I was preparing for a proselyting mission that would never be and while I was trying to figure things out in Salt Lake City. I can’t say that I learned to cook or do laundry or manage finances or anything like that since I’d already been doing those for years, but I did learn how to stretch a dollar and how to navigate public transportation like a champ, not to mention a dozen marketable skills, including how to drive a forklift. And those are just the practical skills I learned on my mission that will allow me to provide for myself as I leave home again, for college this time, and my life after that. Spiritually I also benefitted.

It seems every proselyting missionary comes back with some dramatic spiritual experience they had while serving, and they always seem to take place towards the end of their mission, after they’ve already spent over a year teaching people things. For me, it happened at the beginning of my mission. My older brother was talking to me about his mission and somehow or another he upset me and made me feel like my service mission wasn’t a (air quotes) “real” mission and was just a consolation prize for the rejects - thoughts I had already been struggling with, especially since often times the mission did feel like glorified babysitting for some of the missionaries. We were in sacrament meeting, and I had to get up and go to the bathroom so that I could just sit in the handicapped stall and cry and generally feel terrible. A lady from a different ward found me and, of course, since I was wearing my badge, she asked me if I was having troubles with my companion. I told her that I didn’t have a companion, because I was just a service missionary.

She scolded me for saying I was “just” a service missionary. She didn’t really know what a YCSM is - because nobody really knows what a YCSM is - but before I could even explain it to her, she knew that by saying “just” a service missionary I was devaluing the work I was doing and the calling that Heavenly Father had given me.

By the time I returned to sacramenting meeting, nearly an hour later, I’d found that I’d forgotten my copy of Preach My Gospel in the chapel, and while I was gone my brother had written something in it. I really wanted to give y’all an exact quote, but since my family is currently moving and the house has to be kept showroom-quality - we just had an open house yesterday, in fact - I really don’t know where my copy of Preach My Gospel is. It’s a shame, because it was a really nice letter. But I remember what Matthew said, that the goal of any mission, whether it’s proselyting, temple, or service, is to convert just one person. He left it ambiguous who that one person was, but quite frankly it was really obvious. The one person is yourself. Everyone else can come to the gospel in their own time. You go on a mission to convert yourself.

Am I converted? Well, I don’t know about any of the other stuff, since as everyone knows I never really was any good at absorbing information during scripture study. But over the past three years, one thing has become very clear: God has a plan for me, and you, and every person. You don’t necessarily have to follow this plan - agency exists, after all - and maybe there’s a whole bunch of equally viable backup plans, but Heavenly Father doesn’t forget anybody. The road He picked for me for that part of my life wasn’t an easy one, and if my patriarchal blessing is anything to go by, it never will be. But I’ll continue to follow it.

Because that’s where the freedom comes in. The path that God wants you to follow will never lead you to bondage. Sometimes it will seem so, temporally. But in the end, in the next life, you’ll always be free. God gave us freedom for a reason, and gave us a capacity to enjoy it, and to want it and pursue it. The world will tell you where freedom lies, but they’re never looking in the right places. It’s all lined out in the scriptures. All you need is a little obedience, and little faith to keep walking when you can’t see the path ahead.

I know the Church is true and I encourage everyone to serve a mission. If you have mental or physical health issues that would prevent you from going proselyting, please don’t write yourself off. You have options. God delights in service.

In the name of Jesus Christ AMEN

[davidmann95]

What's your Marvel Starter Pack?

My Marvel knowledge isn’t nearly as extensive as what I have for DC, so this’ll be scaled back to 12 books from the 15 I had there (nevermind Superman and Batman’s own personal lists). Additionally, since Marvel’s even more about Right Now than DC, nothing here is earlier than the turn of the century; a lot of my older recommended reading is by my dad’s suggestion since he had plenty of firsthand experience with the Silver and Bronze ages. Also worth noting that my Marvel tastes don’t exactly fall in line with the general sensibilities of Tumblr or fandom at large - I’m not a big X-Men guy, for instance - so your results may vary. But anyway, again, if you’re following me but new to actually collecting comics and wondering what to look into to gauge your interests, I’ve got plenty for you.

1. Daredevil by Mark Waid

What it’s about: Blinded as a child pushing an old man out of the path of an oncoming truck transporting radioactive waste, Matt Murdock grew up to become a lawyer, encouraged by his pugilist father Battlin’ Jack Murdock not to rely on his fists as he had throughout life. But when Jack was murdered for refusing to throw a fight, Matt was forced to rely on the talents he had developed in secret under his sensei Stick - the same isotopes that took away his sight boosted his remaining four to superhuman levels, as well as granting him a 360° awareness of his surroundings he termed his ‘radar sense’ - to find justice for his father and those like him, becoming the vigilante Daredevil. Now, after a crimefighting career marked by agony, loss, and an increasingly deteriorating psyche, his identity has been unofficially exposed by the tabloid press…but attempting to turn around both his life and his mental health, Matt’s chosen to try and re-embrace the good in both his daytime career and in the thrill of his adventures as the Man Without Fear.

Why you should read it: Aside from being in my opinion the most influential superhero comic of the decade, Mark Waid’s tenure on Daredevil is the complete package of superhero comics. Energizing, gorgeous, accessible, character-driven, innovative, and bold, it’s a platonic ideal of Good Superhero Comics, and most especially Good Marvel Superhero Comics, and as such there’s little better place to start.

Further recommendations if you liked it: Shockingly, few modern Marvel titles seem to operate on a similar frequency to this run, even among those that clearly wouldn’t have existed without it; of those I don’t mention in one capacity or another below, the only modern books that leap out to me as being of a similar breed are Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee’s (the latter ending up the primary artist on Waid’s Daredevil) tragically cut short Thor: The Mighty Avenger, Dan Slott and Mike Allred’s Silver Surfer, and Al Ewing’s Contest of Champions. Given the classic mood it evokes, you might also be interested in some of Marvel’s older stuff in general - as probably most conveniently packaged in the Essential volumes - as well as the more recent Marvel Adventures line of all-ages titles. For hornhead himself, most of his classic work tends to operate in a pitch-black noir mood that much of Waid’s run is meant to contrast; if you want to delve into it, go to Frank Miller’s run (primarily Born Again), then Brian Bendis’s followed by Ed Brubaker’s and, following Waid, Chip Zdarsky’s (the Charles Soule run in the middle seems largely forgettable).

2. Marvels

What: Following the career of photojournalist Phil Sheldon - beginning in World War II with the rise of the likes of the Human Torch, Namor, and Captain America, and forward into the reemergence of superheroes with the Fantastic Four - Marvels shows what the battles that define a world look like to the helpless spectators, from the controversy surrounding mysterious vigilantes such as Spider-Man, the fear of the “mutant menace” represented by the X-Men, and the terror when the planet is first truly threatened at the hands of Galactus.

Why: As well as being one of Marvel’s best and most defining works period - this is Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross’s coming out party as two of the most significant names in the genre, and it articulates Marvel’s avowed “it’s the world outside your window!” philosophy better than perhaps any other title - Marvel is ruled by history and continuity in a way DC isn’t. The latter may have reboots to contend with, but Marvel has a much more upfront and consistently significant timeline of what happened when and what’s important, and if you’re going to have to immerse yourself in that ridiculous lore, there’s no more fulfilling way of getting an injection of pure backstory than this.

Recommendations: There’s a follow-up by Busiek, Roger Stern and Jay Anacleto titled Marvels: Eye of the Camera; I haven’t read it yet myself, but given the pedigree involved I can’t imagine it’s anything less than entirely solid. For other Major Marvel Events, the defining one of the 21st century is Mark Millar and Steve McNiven’s Civil War, which set a tone that still reverberates through the line; also worth checking out the recent Marvel Legacy oneshot, which seems to be laying the groundwork for things to come. Speaking of setting a tone, while it’s not directly ‘relevant’ continuity-wise, Millar also worked with Bryan Hitch on Ultimates 1 & 2, which proved to be the aesthetic model for the current wave of Marvel movies and added plenty of ideas that have been extensively mined since. History of the Marvel Universe by Mark Waid and Javier Rodriguez fits its title and is absolutely worth a library checkout, but is mainly a rote checklist elevated by all-timer artwork.

3. Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s Young Avengers

What: The heroes of the group once known as the ‘Young Avengers’ have gone their separate ways, each trying to figure things out on the cusp of adulthood. But when Wiccan’s attempt at helping his boyfriend goes horribly wrong - mixed in with a pint-sized god of mischief’s machinations, an interdimensional bruiser’s attempts at routing him, and non-Hawkguy Hawkeye’s extraterrestrial hookup - the gang’s forced back together again and on the run before old age literally swallows them whole.

Why: Here’s the bummer truth, daddy-o: I am not, in the common parlance, down with the hep cats, at least as far as gateway young-readers Marvel books go. I flipped through Runaways and wasn’t compelled to pick it up; I kept on with Ms. Marvel for a couple years but always on the edge of falling out of my monthly pile. Unless it’s truly next-level spectacular or heart-pouring-out sincere, gimme superfolks routing fiendish plots and going on trippy adventures any day over a bunch of sad kids in tights figuring out adolescence all over again: Spidey already did it first and better, and when emotionally-down-to-Earth superhero comics do get me fired up it’s usually set a little later on in life (even when I was the target audience for this sort of thing). But fire it through Gillen/McKelvie laser neon sexytime pop, and suddenly you’re in business. Slick, smart, raw, and wild, this was the best comic of 2013, and’ll certainly go down as one of the best superhero titles of this decade, Marvel as the Cool Kids of superherodom dialed up to 11.

Recommendations: Nothing else quite like this out there - the closest in feeling is Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones’ excellent original Marvel Boy miniseries, though that’s more about becoming a 20-something out in the world in the sense of wanting to burn it all down to the ground - but as I said, Runaways and Ms. Marvel do generally appeal to the same audience (and to be clear, I did like the latter just fine), as do the original Young Avengers run and Avengers Academy. Personally, I checked out and liked Avengers Arena, where all the fun teen heroes got forced into Hunger Gamsing each other on a murder island run by Arcade, followed up by them breaking bad in Avengers Undercover - please note that I’m like one of the three people on Earth who liked this book as opposed to ravenously despising it, which probably has in part do to with my lack of prior attachment to the characters involved. Also, important to note that this book is in the middle of a thematic Loki trilogy, preceded by Gillen’s Journey Into Mystery (which I haven’t read but don’t for a second doubt the quality of), and completed by Al Ewing and Lee Garbett’s truly magnificent Loki: Agent of Asgard; also worth noting that these books, and really modern Loki as a whole, are deeply rooted in Robert Rodi and Esad Ribic’s Thor & Loki: Blood Brothers. And for perfect entry books, I don’t think there’s much of anything better out there, especially for young readers, than Ryan North and Erica Henderson’s The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, one of Marvel’s most consistently high-quality ongoings of the last several years.

4. Hawkeye: My Life As A Weapon

What: Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, aka Hawkguy, is the Avenger who’s Just A Dude. No super-steroids and vita-rays, no magic hammer or Pym particles, a distinct lack of multi-billion dollar armor or immortality serum. Dude has a bow and arrow, and while he is very, very good with that bow and arrow, he still gets his ass kicked a frankly disproportionate amount relative to his teammates. Between meeting a dog, buying a car, and hanging out with friends - even if each incident goes significantly more wrong that they would for anyone other than Clint Barton, with non-Hawkguy Hawkeye Kate Bishop typically along for the ride - this is what he gets up to when he’s not helping save the world.

Why: Gonna show my heresy again: I’m not actually over the moon about Fraction/Aja’s Hawkeye past the first arc. But that first arc? Man oh man oh man, are they about as good as Marvel gets. This is absolute next-level storytelling on every front, with Aja and Pulido pulling out all the stops and Fraction - who by all accounts thinks more about the process of how comics work than anyone else in the field - just pouring heart and style all over the thing. It’s as tight and energetic as comics get, and the perfect introduction to Marvel’s street-level corner.

Recommendations: Aside from the rest of this run, there’s the recent Hawkeye (starring the non-Hawkguy Hawkeye Kate Bishop) by Kelly Thompson and Leonardo Romero, and there’s a generous helping of Hawkguy in Ales Kot and Michael Walsh’s Secret Avengers, a book as tight and out-of-the-box and oddly joyous in its own way as this. If you’re looking for other Marvel material that gets this explicitly experimental and afield of the house style, go for Jim Steranko’s much-loved work with Nick Fury. And for the other, considerably grimmer side of the street, aside from the Daredevil stuff I mentioned above, check out anything and everything you can get your hands on from Garth Ennis’s work with the Punisher, along with Greg Rucka’s and Jason Aaron’s.

5. Moon Knight: From The Dead

EDIT: This list was written prior to allegations made against Warren Ellis. It’s your money, but while I’d still recommend checking the book out of the library - the quality of the work isn’t going to change now that it’s out there in the universe - if you’re looking to pad your bookshelf I might recommend skipping to some of the books suggested below in its place.

What: Marc Spector was a mercenary until the day he died, betrayed in the desert before an Egyptian temple by his comrades…and then he kept going. No one knows for sure whether the truth is what his doctors have to say - that sharing his head with the likes of Steven Grant and Jake Lockley is a manifestation of DID, and he’s a profoundly sick man - or his own interpretation - that his fragile human personality buckled and shattered before the immensity when dying by its temple, he bowed his head at death’s door to the moon god Khonshu and let it seize his soul. Whatever the truth, he now knows his purpose: to defend travelers by night from whatever horrors would cross their path.

Why: There’s no story as such to be told here; Ellis and Shalvey simply show six adventures over six issues that establish Moon Knight and the scope of what he’s capable of when handled properly, ranging from straightforward detective work to psychedelic journeys through a rotting dream to a jaw-dropping issue-long fight scene. Marvel has a proud history of material skewing slightly to the left of the rest of their output, tonally and conceptually, and this is your ideal gateway to Weird Marvel.

Recommendations: For the further adventures of Moon Knight, by recommendation would be Max Bemis and Jacen Burrows’ current volume, which is following up on the seeds Ellis and Shalvey laid down quite satisfactorily, with a few twists of their own on top. Ellis himself used Moon Knight before this in his run on Secret Avengers with a number of different artists, which was very much a precursor to his work above in its high-concept done-in-one style; also check out his book Nextwave with Stuart Immonen, which is as out there as it gets for Marvel and also the best comic ever. Delving into Marvel’s spooky side, if this did anything at all for you absolutely get all of Al Ewing and Joe Bennett’s massively and rightfully acclaimed The Immortal Hulk (and if you’re looking for more something more traditional with the Green Goliath, Mark Waid’s The Indestructible Hulk is a hoot). If you really want to go to ground zero of Weird Marvel, you’re in the market for Steve Gerber’s work, primarily Defenders and his own creation Howard the Duck (who had another very entertaining via Chip Zdarsky and Joe Quinones recently worth checking out). Another notably out-there character worth checking out is She-Hulk, particularly in Dan Slott’s run and Charles Soule/Javier Pulido’s. Two more figures existing on Marvel’s weirder end are Doctor Strange - whose ‘classic’ work would as I understand it be Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner’s run, and who’s worth checking out more recently in Brian K. Vaughan and Marcos Martin’s miniseries The Oath, Jason Aaron and Chris Bachalo’s run, and Donny Cates and Gabriel Hernandez Walta’s - and the Inhumans - while contemporary attempts to push them have been a failure, there have been excellent individual successes in Ellis, Gerardo Zaffino, and Roland Boschi’s Karnak, Al Ewing and company’s Royals, and Saladin Ahmed and Christian Ward’s Black Bolt. And I’d be remiss in the extreme not to bring up Gabriel Walta and Tom King’s Vision, which I don’t want to give anything away of, but has a serious claim to being the best thing Marvel’s ever published.

6. Ultimate Spider-Man by Bendis & Bagley

What: When bitten by a genetically mutated spider Peter Parker thought he could use his newfound powers to make a quick buck, and come on, you already know this.

Why: This is the foundational modern Spider-Man. The first arc’s aged a little wonky in bits as Bendis was trying to make late-90s/early-00s Teen Slang work, but by and large, Brian Bendis and Mark Bagley’s original 111-issue tenure on Ultimate Spider-Man reimagining his early years was pound-for-pound one of Marvel’s all-time most engaging, exciting, dramatic, and authentic long-term runs. This is the template for every movie (especially Homecoming) and TV show he’s had in the last decade, a sizable part of what got me into comics in the first place, and one of the company’s most reliable perennials. You want to get onboard with maybe the most popular superhero in the world, you do it here.

Recommendations: With the remainder of the list I’m getting into more character/concept-specific reccs, and for other great Spider-Man, your best bet truly is the classic early material by Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, and John Romita as collected in the Essential volumes, which has aged unbelievably well compared to its contemporaries; Bendis’s post-Bagley material just doesn’t hold up, even with the introduction of fan-favorite Miles Morales. For other ‘classics’, your best bests are Spider-Man: Blue, and by my understanding the runs of Roger Stern and J.M. DeMatteis, particularly the latters’ Kraven’s Last Hunt. For the modern stuff, Chip Zdarksy’s current Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man is just getting better and better, I’ve heard very good things about Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, I personally enjoyed Mark Millar and (at his peak) JMS’s runs, and while most agree Dan Slott’s soon-concluding decade-long tenure on the character has outstayed its welcome, he’s also turned in some stone-cold classics like No One Dies and Spider-Man/Human Torch, as well as other entertaining work such as the original Renew Your Vows and Superior Spider-Man. Most recently, Chip Zdarsky’s work with the character in The Spectacular Spider-Man and the high-concept out-of-continuity miniseries Spider-Man: Life Story are some of Mr. Parker’s all-time best, while Tom Taylor’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is a charming relatively small-scale superhero adventure book, and Saladin Ahmed and Javier Garron’s Miles Morales: Spider-Man is easily the best possible introduction to that guy.

7. Thor: God of Thunder Vol. 1

What: Though Thor, the god of thunder and mighty Avenger, has faced limitless threats to even divine life and limb over his many millennia, only one figure has ever truly frightened him. Now, as he discovers a serial killer of deities is loose in the cosmos, he must turn to his past and future alike in order to survive the coming of the God-Butcher.

Why: The pick on this list most directly relevant to those coming in from the movies right now, I’m afraid that while a bit of this was plucked for Ragnarok, this isn’t remotely on the same wavelength. This is black metal death opera screamed through the megaphone of wild space-spanning superheroics, and not only is it the best Thor comic, it’s the perfect introduction to Marvel’s cosmic side.

Recommendations: Along with the Loki books I namechecked above, the defining run on Thor (though the rest of his continuing work there is also very much worth checking out) is Walter Simonson, which laid down a lot of the fundamentals of the character as he exists today; along with that and the rest of Aaron’s run, my understanding is that Lee/Kirby’s original run holds up very well. For more satisfying fight comics, I’d also suggest World War Hulk, and I hear Marvel’s early Conan comics were standouts. On the cosmic end, I know the Guardians of the Galaxy are where it’s at these days; they sprang to life in their current incarnation in the much-loved Annihilation, and while I haven’t been reading their current Gerry Duggan/Aaron Kuder run, it’s well-liked and probably a good place to drop on, as would be the recent Chip Zdarsky/Kris Anka Starlord, and I’d personally recommend Al Ewing and Adam Gorhan’s Rocket. Beyond them, Jonathan Hickman’s comics are where it’s really at, from his Fantastic Four to S.H.I.E.L.D. to Ultimates to Avengers/New Avengers to the big finale to his overarching story in Secret Wars; it’s a complicated reading order to figure out, but oh-so-worth it.

8. Iron Man: Extremis

What: Faced with the horrors of his amoral past and the questions of a future coming quicker than he can manage, Tony Stark faces his most dangerous enemy yet when experimental post-human body modification tech is let loose into the world and lands in the hands of a white supremacist terrorist cell.

Why: More than anything other than Robert Downey Jr. smirking and quipping, this story is the definitive model for the modern Iron Man, taking a C-lister most notable for dealing with alcoholism decades earlier and hanging out on the B-list team in the Avengers (at least until 2012), and redefining his personality, aesthetic, and role in the 21st century as a man who might be smart enough to save the world if he can ever pull together enough to somehow save himself from his own compromises and weaknesses. The road to this guy becoming a household name is paved here.

Recommendations: Prior to this, his biggest stories were Demon in a Bottle, showing his first reckoning with his alcohol abuse, and Denny O’Neil’s 40-issue run introducing Obadiah Stane and showing Stark’s darkest hour as he sinks completely into his illness. Post-Ellis, the big run is Matt Fraction and Salvador Larroca, which seizes both on the ideas here and the momentum granted by his Hollywood debut to cement his status as an A-lister; after that check out Kieron Gillen’s, which is not only a fun big-idea series in its own right but paves the way for Al Ewing’s spinoff Fatal Frontier, easily one of Iron Man’s best and most overlooked titles. Finally, while it was derided in its own time (that it was a spinoff of an event that turned him evil but the comic never especially explained the circumstances didn’t help), Superior Iron Man is also worth a look as a horrifying contrast to the rest of these.

9. Captain America: Man Out Of Time

What: A sickly young man who volunteered to participate in an experimental super-soldier program to serve his country in World War II, Steve Rogers became Captain America and protected the world from the Nazis with unimaginable courage and distinction, until the day he died disarming a drone plane rigged to blow aimed at America’s shores. He was honored throughout history…until the day he was found alive by the Avengers, frozen in the Atlantic and ready to emerge into the lights of the 21st century when needed most. Most people know that story. This is the story of what happened next.

Why: The search for the definitive statement on Captain America is one that’s driven his character for decades: after all, handling him doesn’t just mean talking about one man’s character, but the character of a nation. Successes are typically qualified, but one of the more successful creators in the pool is Mark Waid, who’s up to his fourth time at bat with Steve right now on the main book. His own most notable effort however is here, showing Rogers’ earliest days post-iceberg as he adjusts to living in what is to him the far-flung future, seeing the ways the nation has both surpassed his wildest dreams and fallen short of his humblest expectations, leaving him in the end to make the choice of whether this is truly the world he wants to defend.

Recommendations: As I mentioned, Waid’s had a few times up at bat with Captain America, and while he initial 90s stints might not be ideal for new readers for a number of reasons, his current run with frequent partner Chris Samnee is a solid crowdpleaser and a perfect place to jump onboard. Prior to that, worth checking out are Jim Steranko’s bizarre and transformative 3-issue run, Steve Englehart’s legendary Secret Empire (not the recent contentious Marvel event comic, to be clear), Ed Brubaker’s turn of the character towards grounded espionage, and his co-creator Jack Kirby’s bombastic, passionate 1970s tenure on the Captain. Currently, Ta-Nehisi Coates’ run is quite solid. Regarding related characters, for the Winter Soldier I’d suggest Ales Kot and Marco Rudy’s unconventional cosmic thriller Bucky Barnes: Winter Soldier; Black Widow had her own recent and excellent Mark Waid/Chris Samnee run, and I’d also recommend the one-shot Avengers Assemble 14AU by Al Ewing and Butch Guice, and issue #20 from Warren Ellis’s previously mentioned time on Secret Avengers; for Black Panther, his definitive runs are under Don McGregor and Christopher Priest, and I’d also note Jason Aaron and Jefte Palo’s Secret Invasion arc as showing T’Challa at his best.

10. Fantastic Four By Waid & Wieringo

What: Bathed in cosmic radiation on an ill-fated journey to the stars, Reed Richards, Sue and Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm were transformed, and became the Fantastic Four, first family of an age of heroes! Now, years into their careers and with Reed and Sue’s young children in tow, they continue to explore new frontiers, whether battling a sentient equation gone mad, contending with an extradimensional roach infestation, or perhaps most perilous of all, Johnny trying to deal with getting a real job.

Why: Plenty consider the Fantastic Four one of Marvel’s most difficult groups to get right, but Waid and Wieringo nail the formula here as well as anyone ever has, just the right mix of high adventure and family dynamics to draw just about anyone in; this is as crowdpleasing as comics get and the perfect introduction to the best superhero team out there.

Recommendations: The FF’s another group where it’s worth going back to their earliest days of Lee and Kirby; while much of the writing’s aged awkwardly at best, they’re the absolute foundational comics of the entire universe and lay down concepts that are still getting use today throughout that universe. Past that initial run, John Byrne and Walter Simonson’s are among the best by reputation, as well as Jonathan Hickman’s as I discussed before (Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s is worth tracking down as well, especially since concepts there end up feeding directly into Hickman). For more outside-the-box material, Joe Casey and Chris Weston’s First Family is worth a look, as is Grant Morrison and Jae Lee’s 1234. And for the all-time best showing of bashful Benjamin J. Grimm, the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing, find Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 to see him defend the entire planet in a boxing match at Madison Square Garden. And while the team’s sadly off the table at the moment, Thing and the Torch are returning in Chip Zdarsky and Jim Cheung’s new volume of Marvel Two-In-One as they set out to find their missing family.

11. Mighty Avengers by Al Ewing

What: When Thanos takes to the skies as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are off-planet, it’s a day unlike any other, as those left standing are forced to band together as the Mighty Avengers. And as the danger passes, the team remains, looking to truly work alongside those they protect rather than above them to make things better, even as forces conspire in the background to enslave them all.

Why: This title is something of a limitus test, in that it’s one where you’ll have to deal with it being constantly, infuriatingly forced to deal with crossover nonsense. It’s one of the big prices to pay for engaging with a larger universe, but the trade-off is that this is where Al Ewing gets set loose on the Marvel universe, drawing on every weird corner to pull together a run of genuine moral intent, note-perfect character work, and all-out adventure. This may be the ‘secondary’ team, but it’s as perfect as the Avengers have ever gotten.

Recommendations: The title itself is relaunched as Captain America and the Mighty Avengers, and as that ends but Ewing continues his time at Marvel, the characters and concepts end up divided among a number of titles: Contest of Champions, where a number of heroes are plucked from the timestream to duel for the power and amusement of the Grandmaster, New Avengers (later turned U.S.Avengers), where former X-Man Sunspot assembles a new team to act as a James Bond-ified international strike force, and Ultimates (later turned Ultimates2), where some of Earth’s most powerful and brilliant heroes band together to proactively defend against unimaginable cosmic threats; also try his mini-event Ultron Forever with Alan Davis sometime. Based on your response to numerous aspects of those titles, there’s a good chance you might be in the market for David Walker’s Luke Cage titles, Matt Fraction’s Defenders, and Jim Starlin’s cosmic 70s books such as Captain Marvel and Warlock (and make sure to read Nextwave at some point, Ewing actually follows up on that gonzo delight in some surprising ways here). For the ‘main’ team, aside from Hickman’s previously mentioned run - which while spectacular is pretty far afield of the usual tone - some suggestions might be Kurt Busiek and George Perez’s much-loved run, Roger Stern’s Under Siege, I have to imagine given the pedigree of the creators Earth’s Mightiest Heroes by Joe Casey and Scott Kolins, Brian Bendis’s extended ownership of the Avengers books, and The Kree-Skrull War.

12. Wolverine & The X-Men by Jason Aaron

What: Dwindled down to a few in a world that hates and fears them as much as ever, mutantkind has been split in two, with by-the-books Cyclops taking a hardline approach against oppression and feeling that the youth in the X-Men’s charge must be made ready to fight, while Wolverine has grown tired of throwing children into battle and has left to find a new way. Founding the Jean Gray School For Higher Learning, Logan’s found himself in the most unexpected role of all as a professor, fighting just has hard to keep the unimaginable high-tech academy and the hormonal super-powered student body in check as to fend off the supervillains inevitably sent their way.

Why: The X-Men aren’t exactly my forte, with a wobbly batting average at best over the years as the books devote at least as much effort to trying to juggle the continuity and soap opera demands as the actual sci-fi premise. There have been successes though, and few so geared towards new reader engagement as Wolverine & The X-Men, where Aaron strips the franchise down to the base essentials of a team living in a school for super-kids. It’s poppy, it’s weird, it’s touching, and it’s accessible. It’s the X-Men at its best.

Recommendations: The most direct predecessor to this run (aside from its actual lead-in miniseries X-Men: Schism, which is actually worth checking out) is Grant Morrison’s New X-Men, which takes the sci-fi aspects of the concept to the very limit in what I’m inclined to consider the best X-Men run, though it’s proven controversial over the years among longtime fans. The base of the team as it exists today is in Chris Clarmemont’s work, which I’m not wild about myself but has a few hits such as God Loves, Man Kills; if you’re looking for a modern update on the formula developed there, Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon and John Cassaday is probably your ticket (and the follow-up run by Warren Ellis is a great weird paramilitary sci-fi book for a bit). Jonathan Hickman’s relaunch is a radicaly and brilliant departure paving a new way forward; it’s perhaps best experienced after a bit of ‘traditional’ X-Men to understand the scale of the contrast, but check that out as soon as possible. For classic material, I understand the Roy Thomas/Neal Adams run was an early success, and Jeff Parker’s X-Men: First Class is by all accounts a charming look at the team’s earliest days. Jason Aaron’s work elsewhere on the X-Men proper was limited to the first 6 issues of the short-lived Amazing X-Men, but he had a very extended and successful tenure on Wolverine which would be my go-to recommendation for him; past that, Death of Wolverine actually satisfies, and All-New Wolverine starring his successor Laura Kinney was the best X-Men book on the stands for some time (writer Tom Taylor is also had a short-lived ‘proper’ X-book in X-Men: Red). As for the group’s many spin-offs, I’d suggest Rick Remender’s X-Force, Peter Milligan and Mike Allred’s X-Factor/X-Statix, and Joe Kelly and Ed McGuiness’s Spider-Man/Deadpool, which should serve as a decent introduction to the latter dude’s own oddball territory in the franchise along with the truly mad and utterly delightful You Are Deadpool.