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#not Advanced Thinking here but i’m Getting There…
twistyfish · 1 day
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Your writing is so good whaaatt!! Could you do another comfort fic with the lad boys? Maybe like they come home and the reader is crying for whatever reason and so onnn. I love comfort fics 🤧🤧
thank you very much! here you are. i’m in a bit of a writing slump honestly 🥲, but i tried. also, some of you are requesting, which i’m very grateful for! if I don’t respond immediately it’s because i’m working on something else at the moment.
prompt~ they come home to you crying.
𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴 𖣴
Zayne
You were so exhausted. You woke up with a horrible headache and did badly in training today because of that. Captain Jenna snapped at you over your simple errors, which made you feel worse.
You wordlessly picked a mug out of the cupboard and filled it with water. You brought it to your lips and drank, each gulp sounding against the metronomic headache that wouldn’t let you rest. A trickle of blood dripped down your philtrum, making a small splash in your cup. Sniffing, you wiped your nose.
Each drop of blood that ran from your nose overwhelmed you more and more until you were scrubbing your nose with your sweater sleeve, the wool fibers catching the liquid. You pulled your arm away and it looked like a surgeon’s rags.
Speaking of surgeons, your boyfriend chose that unaesthetic moment of you messily wiping your nose to walk into the kitchen. You put your arm by your side and tried to act normal as he fixed himself a cup of juice.
You kept your back turned to him as he asked, “How was training today?”
“Training was pretty standard. Tara told me she’s thinking of getting a tattoo.”
“Really? Did she tell you what kind of tattoo?”
“A pair of cherries.” You were just making stuff up, trying to find an exit from the conversation so you could clean up. “I’m going to go change into pajamas.” You quickly walked up the stairs before he could say anything.
Lip quivering, you picked out a set of pajamas and put it on the bed. You stripped out of your sweater, and the red patch on the sleeve caught your eye. Shit. Why did you wipe your nose on it? It would definitely stain. You really liked this sweater, too.
You felt your eyes burn, a fun contrast to the other sensations of your throbbing head and leaky nose. Tears slipped from your eyes, and you held back the sobs for a few beats before giving up and muffling your face in the already stained sweater.
You must have been like that for a while, because Zayne meandered upstairs without you hearing and peeked inside the bedroom door. “You’ve been up here for a while. What are you-,” he stopped, eyes widening. “Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?”
He quickly walked over and put a hand on your back, peering down at you. “Is that blood?”
You wiped your face on the sweater before letting it plop to the floor. “Yeah,” you said tearily.
“Why are you bleeding? And why are you crying?” Came his calm response.
“I had a bloody nose, and… I don’t know.” You dissolved into sobs again. He looked at you sadly, his hazel eyes big and worried. He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly for a few minutes until you calmed down. He rubbed your bare back, feeling the goosebumps and pulling your pajama shirt over your head.
“You don’t have to run away. From me, or your feelings,” he whispered.
𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖 𐦖
Sylus
The air was too heavy. There was too much to dwell on, too many morbid and sickening atrocities that made you feel sour. You couldn’t comprehend how the world was still spinning with so many terrible people weighing it down. You certainly felt like you had been kicked off your axis.
It was more than anyone could take. One too many cases of something horrible on the news, and your stomach was churning. The reporter had described the event so plainly, with a grim resignation. The world was so advanced, and yet….
You didn’t feel the remote slip from your hand. You didn’t hear it clatter on the floor. You didn’t feel the tears swim down your face. You only registered that you were crying when your throat produced a strangled sound, and you finally clapped your hands to your eyes and just bawled.
You cried until you were dehydrated and numb and the garage door opened with a muted whirring. Your large boyfriend entered a few moments later, and you heard a quiet gasp as he took in the sight of you sobbing on the couch.
Sylus seemed less like a fiend and more like a fairy with the way he flitted around you, uncharacteristically lacking composure while trying to figure out what was wrong. By that point, the news had changed to some other story, and he looked confusedly at the TV.
“Darling, are you crying about inflation?”
That didn’t even get a smile from you, so he just picked you up from under the armpits and rocked you slowly, like a baby. You continued to cry softly as he shushed you and whispered comforting words in your ear.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” He asked gently.
“There are so many bad people in the world,” you managed to say through weak hiccups.
“I know. You’re dating one of them.”
“You’re different,” you mumbled. “
“Oh? How am I different?”
“You’re an evil bastard, but I love you.”
He laughed throatily at that, and you felt a little better.
𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝 𓆝
Rafayel
You were in a nice hotel, lying amidst silky duvets and plush, fat pillows. The moonlight snuck through the gaps between the ivory curtains and created beautiful spectral patterns on the walls.
Your darling fiancé was sleeping with his arm wrapped around you, so why were your shoulders shaking? Why were soft, choked sobs escaping your lips? Why the hell were you crying on vacation?
You didn’t know. All you did know was that Rafayel was stirring, surely awoken by your movement.
“Are you crying?” He murmured sleepily, propping himself up.
You willed yourself to stop shaking, stop being weak and just shut up. But it wasn’t working. The misery and self pity was eating you alive.
“Oh, sweetie,” he said, gently turning you around and cupping your head, kissing your wet cheek. “Don’t cry. You’ll get dehydrated.”
More tears ran down your face, and he continued to brush them away with soft fingers. “What’s wrong, my gorgeous girl?”
“I don’t know,” you choked out. “I just feel bad.”
“Oh, my love….” Rafayel kissed you again with sweetness and compassion. He combed through your hair with his fingers and rubbed your cheek with his thumb. He didn’t know how to soothe you, so he did the only thing he could think to do. He distracted you.
He brought his lips to yours and gently showed you his love for you. Whatever you were feeling, he would overpower it with all his heart.
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Xavier
The clash of metal exploded in the air as your swords collided yet again, and you dodged another attack. Your eyes were burning. There was absolutely no way you were about to cry while sparring with Xavier.
But the next time your swords collided and you met Xavier’s soft, focused gaze, you failed to hold it back. You stared intently into his eyes as both of you struggled, and while straining against his sword, tears began falling from your eyes. His own eyes widened, and he stepped back, pulling his mask down.
“Are you injured?” He asked worriedly. “Did I hurt you?”
You shook your head, lip trembling. You let out a shaky sob, and that was enough to concern him further.
“__….” He was at a loss for words. He had never seen you cry, and now….
“What happened?” He bent down, trying to assess your expression. You were trying not to let the tears win, but they definitely were. You finally gave up trying to hold it in and let your sword drop to the floor with a soft clink, now crying openly.
Xavier reached out hesitantly and pulled you into his embrace. Both of you were hot and stinky from sparring, but that didn’t matter. Not while you were crying.
You let out muffled sobs into his neck, letting him hold you as the two of you sank to the floor. Your tears mingled with the sweat on his shoulder, and he rubbed your back soothingly as you cried. He held you like that for a while.
“I’m sorry,” you said once the sobs had died down.
“It’s okay. I just want to know where this came from,” he replied in that sweet, soft voice.
“I’m tired,” came your plain response. He didn’t question you further, and gently patted your head.
He helped you pick up your things and walked you to the locker room, and you stopped to take a drink at the water fountain. His gaze was fixed on you as you drank, eyes tracing the curvature of your lips. He was so engrossed in watching you drink that you couldn’t help but feel shy.
You finished drinking and said bye to Xavier, still thinking about the interaction. He was always soft spoken, but you didn’t know he could be this gentle. Maybe you should talk to him more outside of sparring.
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sashaisready · 2 days
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Starting Over: Chapter 3 - Bolt
Mob!Bucky x Female Reader
Series Masterlist
When Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending.
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Back again! I have split the final chapter into two parts as it makes more sense that way, you’ll see why when you read the last one – which hopefully I should be able to post later this week, or early next – I’m just working on getting it right. Warnings for angst, angst and angst in this part – sorry in advance. I felt a bit weepy writing this. I’ve been blown away by the support this story has received, especially as it was written on a bit of a whim, so thank-you for all your reblogs and comments – it means a lot!! Also shout-out to the recent Variety SebStan photoshoot - very inspirational...
💔
You were sleeping like the dead, it was a miracle that anything could’ve woken you – but the soft click of the hotel door opening must’ve cut through the void somehow, because you shot up in bed awake, disorientated and suddenly on alert. Your breathing was heavy as you adjusted to your surroundings. What…where were…?
Bucky gently closed the door behind him and rushed over to your bedside.
“Hey, hey…it’s just me, you’re okay doll. I’m sorry I startled you. I was trying to slip in quietly…” he cooed, “I thought knocking might be too jarring…stupidly…”
You blinked at him, you were just able to make out his face in the dark as recognition sunk in. His features were subtly illuminated by the parking lot lights, the room’s curtains doing little to keep that glare out. He looked tired and drained; his hair unkempt. There was a weariness in his face that you hadn’t seen before. You groggily flicked on the bedside lamp as your brain caught up with the rest of you.
For a blissful moment you’d forgotten it all, from the haze of sleep, you’d forgotten why you were here. Bucky! Bucky is here! Your safe place. You began to smile and instinctively moved towards him. He smiled too, a relieved smile, holding out a hand to you so you reached for it with your own –
Wait.
Oh.
You saw the hope in his eyes dwindle when you jerked away from him, a scowl hardening your expression as you whipped your hand back as quickly as if it had been burnt. You pulled the sheets high and tight, covering your body as if you didn’t like that any of you was visible to him.
As he tried to lean over to get closer to you, you greeted him with a blunt, hard slap across the face.
He recoiled, his hand moving to his stinging cheek as he stood up to his full height and stepped back, “fine. I deserved that…”
“What are you doing here?” you sneered, “How did you even get in?”
He tilted his head towards the door and held up a key card, “They let me in. They gave me a key”.
“Well, they shouldn’t have! They shouldn’t just give away door keys to random people…”
“They don’t, just me,” he smirked.
You rolled your eyes and turned away, “You think this is funny?”
“Doll…” he reached out to you again, but you smacked his hand away.
“No,” you growled.
“I found out the truth…I know it wasn’t you. I’m so sor-” he sounded frantic, stuttering and jumbled, worlds away from the cool and collected man you knew so well. But you were unmoved, his betrayal still stinging and raw.
“I don’t care,” you interrupted, your tone flat and cold, “it’s too late”.
“I should’ve listened to you. I’m so sorry, baby. I flew off the handle without talking to you. I should’ve trusted you…” he pleaded.
“Yes, you should’ve,” you snapped bitterly, “but you didn’t. You wouldn’t let me talk, you just shouted…then you threw me out with nothing! Like I was trash! I walked for nearly two miles alone in the dark, in the middle of the night, Bucky. Anything could’ve happened to me…” your voice wobbled slightly at the end of your sentence; you took a deep breath – refusing to let anymore tears fall for him.
He dipped his head, his gaze dropping, unable to look at you. “I know, you’re right…I keep thinking about it…I keep…”
“Save it!” you shouted, a little more emotional than you intended. “All I wanted was for you to listen to me. I don’t know anything about a recording, or my phone pinging, or whatever you were ranting about. I just can’t believe you wouldn’t believe me, after everything we’ve been through…”
He sighed heavily, then withdrew his phone from his pocket. He began to scroll through.
You scoffed, “what are you-”
And then your voice, clear as day, rang out from his phone. Bucky held it up towards you, his face pained. You listened, stunned, as you heard yourself on the recording. It was so real you almost considered that it was you, and you’d somehow forgotten that you’d actually said it.
“Just give me a bit longer and I’ll have that one-armed pussy spill everything…”
After it had finished, you furrowed your brows in confusion, your mouth hanging open.
“But that wasn’t…” you whispered.
“I know. I know that now,” he sighed, putting the phone back in his pocket. “Rumlow set it up. He put it together with cutting edge AI, some advanced tech Stark helped develop. He also planted fake footage of you on the CCTV. Took your phone to an incriminating location. But Sam caught him tonight. He’s been working with the feds to bring me down, to make room for a HYDRA revival. He knew I’d be weaker and easier to takedown if you and I fell apart, so breaking us up was a two-birds-one-stone deal”.
You blinked, bewildered, a chill running through you as you thought about the lengths someone would go to in order to break you and Bucky up. You knew a little about HYDRA, the rival syndicate that Bucky used to work for before he struck out on his own. They’d been defunct for years, or so Bucky had told you. The implication of someone being able to make your voice say anything they wanted also haunted you. Rumlow could’ve even framed you for a crime with such technology. It was…scary.
You could see why Bucky freaked out, presented with all of this incriminating evidence, but…
“Rumlow didn’t break us up, Bucky”, you said quietly as your words sharpened. “You did. You could’ve come to me first. You could’ve showed me this and we could’ve set everything straight. Instead…you went nuclear…”
He dropped his gaze again to the threadbare hotel carpet, unable to meet your eye. It was almost funny, he looked small for the first time since you’d met him. Despite his towering height and hulking frame, he almost seemed like a little boy in that moment.
“…I just can’t believe you thought I’d do something like that to you. That I’d betray you like that. That I could look you in the eye every day and lie to you and…”
He suddenly looked up, quickly snatching your hand, “I’m so sorry, doll, this is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made…I’d do anything to take it back…”
“Well you can’t!” you sniped back at him as you tore your hand away from his, tears in your eyes. “You must think so low of me that you think I’d be capable of this. And all the stuff you said about me leeching off you for your money! I’ve never been comfortable spending your cash and you know that! I can’t believe you’d throw it all back in my face…”
“Baby, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean of it. I was hurt…” he said, the desperation building in his voice as his eyes widened, “I was just trying to hurt you the way I thought you’d hurt me. I didn’t really think it. I never have”.
“It must’ve come from somewhere!” you spat venomously, “you didn’t pull it out of thin air…”
“I promise. I was just throwing words out and didn’t care what they were as long as they hit. I just was so mad,” he sat down on the bed and began running his hands through his hair as he closed his eyes, he always did that when he was stressed.
He sighed heavily, then turned to you, “Look”, he began – his voice soft now. “I guess part of me always thought this was too good to be true…everything happened so quickly when we met. I’d always been content with one-night stands and casual hook-ups. Then I met you, and…” he trailed off as he chewed his lip, carefully choosing what to say.
You watched him, your earlier anguish now hardened into pure rage, you wanted to kick him out – send him out into the street the way he had with you. But you also wanted to hear this. You wanted to understand what possible reasoning there could be for causing of this pain. What weak excuse he could use to try and justify his cruelty. He looked at you again. His eyes were kind, warm. But you couldn’t help but remember the coldness in them from earlier. You didn’t think you’d ever forget it.
“I guess…everything changed. I fell for you so hard. You took over my life. Invaded my thoughts, my senses. I just wanted to be with you all the time. And to my surprise…you felt the same. This sweet, wonderful woman wanted to be with me, too. I was sure you’d turn away when you found about my job…my past…my scars, my arm... Because why wouldn’t you? You were kind and decent. You saw the best in people. How the hell could you love someone like me? A killer. A monster…”
“Bucky, I…” you croaked.
“Please, just let me finish…” he pleaded, “but somehow, you did love me. And I know you moved in with me quickly, but it felt right. You had a rough start in life, and all I ever wanted to do was take care of you and fix it so you didn’t have to worry about money or paying bills or any of that ever again. I wanted you to sleep soundly, knowing I would protect you and do right by you and you wouldn’t have to sling burgers and fries to get by anymore. And part of me knew it was selfish…because you deserved better than me. You deserved the white picket fence, a dull but decent man with a boring job who comes home and tells you about whatever shit Janet in Accounting got up to that day. But no, you had me – who stole you from that peaceful future to make myself happy. I worked late and committed violent acts. I had to give you bodyguards just in case. I uprooted your entire life. I did my best to give you the love you deserve, but I couldn’t even get that right. When I heard that tape…it was like the universe telling me what I already knew - I wasn’t worthy, and the debt I owed was getting collected. I guess part of me always expected I’d inevitably screw it up, because I never deserved you in the first place. And I’m just sorry that I proved myself right”.
You sniffed back your tears, bowled over by his words. He’d never said anything like this to you before, you had no idea he held those insecurities. The silence hung heavily between you, until you finally spoke, your voice shaky.
“But I was happy slinging burgers. And I never wanted the boring guy. I never wanted the white picket fence. I wanted you, Buck. Only you. I knew who you truly were, and it didn’t matter. It never mattered. You did deserve me. You did deserve love and everything we had…until…well…this”.
He nodded sadly, taking your hand in his.
“I know that now, doll, I do. I ended up sabotaging the best thing that ever happened to me because of my own fears. And that’s on me. But look…I need to ask, do you think you could ever forgive me? I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll go at whatever pace you want…We can just be friends and see how it goes. I’ll go to therapy to sort out my shit. Anything. I’ll never doubt you again. All I ask is that you give me one final chance to fix this. Please, doll…I’m begging you…”
You looked into his big blue eyes, glossy with his unshed tears. Your heart ached and twisted at the sight. You’d never seen him looking so vulnerable before, so lost. You loved him so very much. You would’ve taken a bullet for him if he’d asked. He was correct that the two of you had moved fast in your whirlwind romance, but it always felt like a natural progression. It had always felt right.
But something had shifted. Something monumental. And you didn’t know if it could ever be like it was. It was wrong now.
“I’m sorry Bucky, I can’t….I…” you whispered, squeezing his hand as your tears began to fall. “I want to…I just…I don’t know if I can…”
He inhaled deeply and your heart shattered as you saw the flash of anguish in his eyes. But then he took a moment, a sad but accepting smile creeping over his face. He leaned over and wiped away your tears with his thumb.
“It’s alright, doll” he told you softly. “This was my fault. I’m not gonna force it or push you to forgive if you’re not comfortable doing so, okay? Not because I don’t care or don’t want to fight for you. But because I love you, and loving someone means sometimes you have to let them go”.
You nodded as you looked up into his eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
“Hey, c’mon…” he soothed.
He quickly vanished into the en-suite bathroom, returning with a small wad of toilet paper to dab at your tear-soaked cheeks. He extended a finger and gently moved it under your chin, propping your face up to look at his. The tenderness and care he showed you was what you were used to with Bucky. This was the version of him you’d always known. It almost made you forget about everything. Almost.
You both shared a small smile. A melancholic smile, a smile that you both understood meant too much had happened here tonight. Too much had changed. You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. Nothing was spoken, but everything was said.
It was hard to know how much time had passed, but eventually he got up and moved to the door. You didn’t stop him, and he didn’t ask you to. He ran a finger over your trusty red backpack as he passed the desk. He chuckled and picked it up, “I should’ve known this old thing was involved. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how you left with no clothes or money…but you’ve always been the most resourceful person I know.”
You smiled back at him weakly.
“It’s funny…” he mused as he caressed the straps, “you had this emergency kit already to go. Just in case…”
You shook your head, “no…it wasn’t meant to be a kit, it was just left from where I moved in with you. I didn’t-I just dumped it when I…”
“Yes…left fully packed and untouched. With clothes and cash. And debit cards, presumably. Stashed in a closet by the front door. That doesn’t strike you as a choice? A plan? Even if you weren’t fully aware of it?” he asked.
You didn’t respond as the silence laid thick between you. Incisive Bucky, as always. He could read you better than anyone on the planet. You knew he was right, he knew it too. You swallowed, looking down at the frayed thread on the bedsheet.
“You are always planning, doll. Because you always had to, with the life you’ve had. You always had to keep moving and stay one step ahead. We both know that”.
Again, he was met with your silence as you pulled at the thread. But there was no denial. You couldn’t deny the truth.
“Guess we both had our own ejector seats for this plane,” he mused as he moved the bag back to how he found it. “Looks like we had even more in common than we knew”.
He was right, again. It seemed that both of you had your anxieties and insecurities about this relationship. Both of you were maybe a little too cynical and world weary to believe in happy ever afters. His had manifested in anger, in rage…yours in being ready to flee at any time. Both of you had been on the starting line waiting for that pistol to fire.
But it had only finally imploded because of him.
He continued his slow march to the door, clearing his throat as he looked back at you.
“I meant what I said, every word. I’d do anything to get you back. I’d go at any pace, I’d take whatever you offered – in any form, as long as I’m still in your life in some way. I’d spend the rest of my days apologising if I had to. But honestly, I’d also be happy just to be your friend. Okay? So, you can call me, text me, anytime. Hell, just send me an emoji. Even if you just to talk. Even just to yell at me. I’ll always pick up, I promise”.
He pulled a business card from his wallet and placed it on the desk, “here. Put my number in your new phone when you get one”.
You stayed mute, but your eyes followed his hand as he gently put the card down.
“Will you be okay? For money, I mean?” he asked as his hand rested on the doorhandle, “because I can…”
“I’ll be fine Buck, I always am”.
“Yeah doll, I know”, he said softly.
Neither of you said goodbye. Maybe it was too hard to actually say the word out loud. Speak it into existence and accept its reality. So, he just nodded at you, and you smiled back, and you tried not to think about the tears glistening in his eyes or that painful tugging in your chest.
A few seconds later he was gone, and then it was as if he’d never been there at all.
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vanesycho · 1 day
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Watched Jaemin and Mark live the other day and they played Jealous Tendencys 😲 Jaemin was so hot 🤭 can you please write a fic where fwb Jaemin is jealous of yn and Mark (when Mark tries to get to know yn)🫣 thank you in advance luv!!
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warning:smut, p in v
a/n:pls...I really surrendered my soul when I watched the live, JAEMIN WAS SO F HOT, anyway, thank you for your request I hope you like it🤍🤍
wc:1,9k
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"It's really nice to meet you Y/n. Why hasn't Jaemin ever mentioned you?" You laughed when Jaemin rolled his eyes at Mark's question. He regretted accidentally mentioning you to him a few days ago. Sure, you agreed that nothing romantic would happen between you two, but was Jaemin going to watch you flirt with him after he fucked you half an hour before Mark got home?
You came onto his cock with a loud moan as Jaemin pounded your pussy once more. He tiredly laid down next to you and kissed your forehead. "Are you okay?" You turned to him, trying to catch your breath. "God...You were harder than usual." He laughed at your words and sat up straight and smoothed his hair that was sticking to his forehead. "Mark will be here in a few hours." You sat up as well. "Yeah? We still have time for the shower."
Jaemin turned his head to you, staring at your face for a moment. "Are you really okay with meeting him?" You laughed, frowning in disbelief. “I mean...Of course? I’ve only been having sex with you for a long time, it might be good to try someone new. Mark... I’m already curious about what kind of person he is.” he watched your excitement, jaw clenched, and grabbed your wrist, quickly leading you to the bathroom. “Don’t get your hopes up.” you entered the bathroom, Jaemin spoke again as he adjusted the water. “Before you flirt with him, remember who fucked you a few hours ago.”
Even though what you had just experienced with Jaemin didn’t leave your mind, there was something else that didn’t leave your mind, and that was why he was so angry about this situation. You had already set your rules for this fwb relationship, but it seemed like someone was completely disregarding them. Whenever you tried to bring someone else into your life, it only ended in failure because of Jaemin, and it seemed like this would happen too.
You turned your attention away from him and looked at Mark with a smile, and when you were about to answer his question, Jaemin quickly intervened. “I didn’t mention it because I don’t have to tell you everything.” Noticing his anger, Mark laughed nervously. “Dude, calm down. It’s just that Y/n is really beautiful, I can’t believe you hid her from me.” Mark leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, examining you, a smile appearing on your face when you saw him looking at you up and down, you didn’t take your eyes off him. "I think it’s good that we met, I’d like to get to know you better.”
Jaemin laughed hysterically, licking his dry lips and brushing his hair back with a deep breath. His angry expression amused you even more, you really liked pushing his boundaries and Jaemin knew it all too well. “Yeah, Y/n is beautiful but don’t you think you’re overdoing it? Take it slow dude this is your first time seeing each other.” Mark tore his eyes away from you and looked at Jaemin, you looked at him the same way, what he said sounded funny because when you first saw each other all you did was spend a lot of time naked in bed and now he was trying to protect you.
Mark frowned and glanced at the two of you, slowly pointing his index finger at the two of you "Dude wait- are you two..." You looked at Jaemin, and when you saw the slight smirk on his face you immediately jumped in "Friends? Yes we are, it hasn't been that long actually so it's normal that you don't know me." You turned back to him, when you saw the smirk on his face turn into irritation you let out a small chuckle. Mark took the opportunity to quickly reply "Oh that's great, so can we get some alone time one day?" You looked at the phone he held out to you, you reached for it but another hand snatched it away as you were about to grab it, both of you looked at Jaemin with a questioning look, Jaemin handed the phone back to Mark "Do you really need the number? Just come to my house when you want to see her, because I'm sure she'll be here."
Mark took the phone without a word and looked at you again, you bit your lower lip to keep from laughing and cleared your throat "Alright then. I better go." Mark stood up and you heard a calming sigh from Jaemin, Mark turned to you one last time before walking out the door. "I'll see you later?" You gave him a smile, leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "I'll see you later." Mark swallowed hard, holding his breath for a moment as your voice echoed in his ears, Jaemin's throat clearing interrupted you. Mark returned to reality and soon left the house. Jaemin was looking at you with his arms crossed, you tried to walk past him but were forced to stand still when his hand grabbed your wrist harder than it should have been, you looked at him. "Yeah?" He leaned closer to your face, his voice wasn't loud but you didn't need it to tell that he was definitely angry. "What's with all this attitude? Are you going to flirt with every guy you meet like that?" The relaxed attitude you displayed in response to his anger made him even angrier, you grinned and pulled your arm. "Do I need to reiterate the rules we talked about? Because you don't seem to follow any of them."
He just studied you with a serious expression on his face, "Fuck the rules, it's funny how you think anyone else can get close to you when I'm around, Y/n." You tilted your head slightly to the side. "This is the purpose of our relationship, Jaemin. Just sex and no feelings. I thought we agreed on that." He grabbed your arms and pulled you towards him, you had to lift your head slightly to look at him because of the closeness. "We may not have feelings between us, but that still doesn't mean I'll let anyone else touch you." You lowered your eyes to his lips, a slight smirk appearing on your face. "Oh, is that jealousy I feel?"
The satisfied expression on your face made him swallow. "You know damn well. And you like it, don't you?" He grabbed your shoulders and pushed you against the wall, a small pained groan coming out of your mouth. "Fuck-" Jaemin didn't wait long before he moved to your neck, you shivered when he breathed into your neck. “If you like driving me crazy, then go ahead. But know that all this effort is for nothing because I will never let anyone else know about this body that I know every single detail of, you understand?” He sucked on your earlobe and started kissing you from behind your ear, moving his kisses down, bringing his knee between your legs and pressing it against your pussy over your dress, you let out a breath.
He slowly moved his hand down your body, the kisses started to wet your neck, he reached his hand inside your dress and caressed your clit “J-jaem..” your body started to burn, every place he kissed left a mark of fire. Jaemin had no intention of stopping, he had no intention of sharing you with anyone else and you had to learn that, one way or another. “Being alone with Mark, hm? Maybe if I leave marks all over your body he’ll figure out who you belong to, what do you think?” You moaned slightly in pain when he bit your neck hard, your voice reaching his ears and he couldn’t suppress the urge to do more.
Soon your panties were on the floor and you were in Jaemin’s lap, you were tired of moving, Jaemin smirked as he listened to your whimpering and examined you. “Are you tired? That soon?” He grabbed your hips and squeezed them lightly. “You want me to help?” You nodded quickly, the fact that you were so needy stirred something inside him. One hand went to your nipple and he stroked your erect nipple with his thumb. “Then stay with me. Just tell me that you’ll be mine and I’ll give you what you want. Will you be alone with Mark, baby?” His big veiny cock inside you was driving you crazy, the pain and sensitivity of not being able to move inside you was making your eyes fill with tears, you muttered a curse. “Fuck- n-no I won’t, only you will fuck me.. only me- fuck Jaemin please..”
The look in his eyes changed instantly, his mocking look turning into a hunger for you and it didn’t take long for you to find yourself lying on your back. He lifted one of your leg up and wrapped it around his waist, and without waiting, he started to enter your pussy with a certain tempo, the pleasure you were finally getting made you moan, Jaemin leaned in and sucked on your lower lip "That's right baby, I'll be the only one fucking this beautiful pussy of yours. What a shame that fucking Mark won't be able to enjoy it." You laughed when you saw him smirk at the last sentence "You're crazy." He smiled in the same way "For this beautiful pussy? Damn I am." Your juices mixed with his, your breathing sounds bounced between the four walls, Jaemin moaned deeply and his movements became rougher. His cock hitting your pleasure point made you let out a loud moan, without you even having to speak, he knew he had found the right spot from the tightening of your pussy "Yeah? You like it? Good, every time you think about going to someone else, make sure that other dicks won't feel like this and think again." his cock that was constantly hitting your pleasure spot was making you moan and whine with each hit, after a few movements your stomach tightened, "I'm close.. Please.." Jaemin spread your legs and watched with his own eyes how he was destroying your pussy, he let out a deep groan at the sight, "Fuck." He cursed between his breaths.
He listened to all of your pleas from time to time with pleasure, you were only his and you would continue to be his, there was no other way. He should be the only one who had this beautiful body and you, the only one who could hear this beautiful voice, only he should know how your pussy felt, the beauty of your touches. "Are you going to cum? Hm? You were flirting with my best friend earlier and now you're going to do this? Fuck- I should have let Mark stay and watch this." he laughed hysterically, laughing at the fact that you were too busy moaning to respond, he slid his hand from your cheek and grabbed your chin roughly, forcing you to look at him. "Don't even try to take your eyes off of me, do you hear me?" You nodded, he continued his movements without breaking eye contact, watched how you moaned with your mouth slightly open.
He hit your pleasure spot hard a few more times and finally felt the semen flowing from your pussy slide off his cock, then he pulled his cock out of you and pulled it a few times with his hand and cummed between your legs with a deep moan. He put his hand next to you to support himself, leaned over and kissed your lips, you looked at him, Jaemin reached his other hand up to your face and started caressing your cheek. "Let's end this stupid complicated relationship, just be mine."
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moonstruckme · 1 day
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omg mae bae happy bday and congrats on 7k wowie! would you do apple pie, ¹⁰⁾ a six pack of beer and an apology, with steve harrington? <3
Thank you lovely <3
cw: alcohol, spin the bottle
Steve Harrington x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words
Steve finds you in the kitchen. You’ve procured a pair of scissors from somewhere, and you’re snipping apart those plastic rings that hold together six-packs. You glance up as he comes in but look away quickly, picking another up off the counter. 
“Turtles strangle themselves on these things,” you say. You snip a corner, the sound short and crisp. “I don’t know why we still use them.” 
Steve honestly doesn’t think much about sea animals when he’s drinking a beer, but he wants to agree with you. “Me neither.” 
“It’s like, we’re supposed to be this advanced society. Can’t we come up with something that doesn’t kill turtles?” 
“Mhm. Probably.” 
“I just think it’s dumb.” You push out a breath. It sounds frustrated, but Steve knows you well. You’re more stressed than angry. He’s not patient enough to wait for you to get around to telling him that yourself. 
“What’re you doing in here?” he asks. 
You look up at him again. Shrug. “I was sick of being out there.”
“You wanna go home?” 
“Do you?” 
It’s a fair thing to ask. Steve’s your ride, so leaving these things is usually a joint decision. But he feels like the question is pointed. “Do you think I wanna go home?” 
“I don’t know.” Some of the stress is seeping into your voice now, your terseness taking on a new hue. “You seemed mad.” 
He was mad (is mad?). He just hasn’t figured out if it’s fair for him to be, yet, so he wasn’t planning on making it your business. He thought that would be the nice thing to do, but you don’t seem to appreciate being left out of the loop. 
“Do I seem mad now?” he asks. 
You cut through the last plastic ring with a harsh snap. “Christ, Steve, I don’t know. Why are you asking me all this?” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, and though it’s automatic he does mean it. “I’m not trying to be mad at you.” 
Your eyes meet his, crushed before you can hide it. “But you are.” 
“Not—” He sighs, jamming his thumb against his brow bone. It’s an anxious habit, a preventative measure against potential headaches. “Not really. Not in a way that’s important.” 
“I think it’s important anytime you’re mad at me,” you say. Your voice has softened and smalled. Steve feels like his guts are in knots. He wants to make an excuse, to explain—It’s not that I’m actually mad at you. I haven’t decided if I should be. So we’re all good, right? For now, I mean. At least until I decide.—but before he get the chance to further fuck things up you ask, “Can you tell me what you’re mad about?” 
Steve drops his hand to look at you. “You really don’t know?”
You wince, and he thinks you do know. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m sorry.” 
He feels his brows furrow. “For what to happen?” 
“For it to land on you.” 
“That’s not…it’s spin the bottle. You can’t control who it lands on. That’s the point.” 
You shake your head, almost to yourself. Your fingers are fiddling with the ends of your sleeves. “I shouldn’t have even played. I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have if I’d known that was gonna happen.” 
“What do you keep apologizing for?” Some accidental anger makes its way into Steve’s tone. “Who did you want to kiss?”
You blink. “No one.” 
“Nobody plays spin the bottle unless they want to kiss someone.” 
“Well, I guess I changed my mind.” 
“Why?” 
“Because!” Your voice rises, and you lower it just as quickly. You both glance to the kitchen entryway like the calvary is going to come force you back to that stupid party just because you almost yelled. “Because,” you say, quieter, “it was weird.”
Steve forgets to even try to keep his face in check. He feels it twist with hurt. “It was?” 
“Yes! Everyone was looking at us, and it was like a game—it was a game.” You pull your sleeves over your hands, shoulders winding up tight. “I guess I just feel like that sort of thing should be private.”
Awareness dawns upon him like a slow sunrise. Steve has never been known for his book smarts, but he’s not stupid. He knows what it feels like to be liked. He’s just never known what it felt like to be liked by you. 
A little laugh of disbelief stumbles out of him. “You said ‘ew.’” 
You’d been tipsier and fizzy with excitement when the game had started. Smiling and laughing at everything, your giddiness palpable. When your turn had come, Steve had watched you carefully to see if your eyes did that hopeful flit to someone in the circle, but all your concentration had been on the bottle, your smile slipping just a little as it spun. And landed on him. 
Ew, you laughed. No, c’mon, you can’t make us.
That’s the game, Marcy had reminded you gleefully. As a resister, you now had the attention of most of the circle. It wasn’t Steve’s first time playing. He knew how it went. 
Relax. He’d forced a smile, getting onto his hands and knees to meet you in the middle. It’ll be quick. Not too disgusting.
You’d made a face of humorous unwillingness, your eyes darting around the group as if seeking rescue. Fine, you relented. If it’s not a big deal to you, it’s not to me. 
Steve had done this more than once, but it felt especially awkward with you. Crawling into the middle of a circle of spectators, your hand knocking the bottle so that it clinked and rolled. True to his promise, he kept it brief, a short, painless press of his lips. Hardly enough to feel the impression of yours before you were both pulling away, Steve silent and you spewing a string of nervous giggles. 
You’d left before it was Steve’s turn to spin. 
Now you seem near to ripping the sleeves of your shirt, the material stretched over your curled fingers as you worry your lip. You’re back to not looking at him. “I didn’t mean ‘ew’ at you.” 
It had sure sounded like it. “Then what did you mean?”
“I meant it, like, I didn’t like how things were going.” You laugh at yourself, the sound stymied. “Like ew, we have to kiss in front of everyone, or ew, Chris is watching us way too intently.”
Steve makes a face. “He was?” 
“Is that what you’re mad about?” Something seems to dawn upon you now, too, your expression clearing. “That I said that?” 
He looks at you for a second. “Well, it sounds stupid when you say it out loud.” 
“No it doesn’t,” you say, but you look to be fighting a grin. “I’m sorry, it’s not stupid. I didn’t mean to be mean.” 
“It’s okay,” he says genuinely. 
You shake your head. “I wasn’t thinking. But that’s not what I meant.” 
Steve knows this now, but he teases you anyway. “Are you sure about that?” 
You hesitate only half a second before you catch onto what he’s doing. Your smile starts to win. “I’m sure.” 
“Kissing me doesn’t disgust you?” 
“No.” Your voice is bashful now, but your eyes are steady on his as you take a step toward him. 
The knots in Steve’s guts aren’t getting any looser, though there’s a different kind of commotion going on there now. “I don’t know if I believe you.” 
You reach for each other at the same time, his hands on your ribs and yours on either side of his face, and this time there’s no glass bottles to knock or rules to adhere to or spectators to appease. This kiss isn’t short.
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Text
Mad Season 6 🕸 Story A
Warnings: non/dubcon, social anxiety, chronic illness, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: this is Peter's side of the story.
Summary: a class project gets messy. (short!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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“Um...” you drone dumbly at Peter. “I don’t know.” 
He stares back at you. He looks scared, “you don’t know?” 
“I’m sorry, I...” the raucous party rumbles on inside the walls. “I can’t think here.” 
“Hey, let me grab my jacket, we can talk outside,” he offers. “Wait, where’s your coat? You can’t go out like that?” 
You look down and realise you left your jacket inside. In fact, he took it. You shrug and he holds up a finger.  
“Please, just give me a chance.” 
You nod. What else can you do? He rushes back through the door and you turn away. You try to ignore the couple sloppily lapping at each other’s mouths. 
You don’t know what to think. You can barely cling to a coherent thought. Bucky’s warning echo in your head. Isn’t this proof? There are other girls, not just you. Yet, you keep asking yourself why you care about them. Peter asked you to be his lab partner, not his girlfriend. 
In fact, no one has ever asked you to be their girlfriend. Why would they? You’re quiet and boring. You shrink back against the wall and peer down at the floor. You should just tell Peter to go back to MJ. 
He appears and your resolve rots away. He only has his coat. “Hey, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find your coat. I looked all over. The green one right? With the orange buttons? I don’t know what happened but take mine.” 
He holds you his jacket, “Oh, it’s fine. I can’t--” 
“Now what kinda jerk would I be if I let you go cold?” He insists. “I’ll be fine. Really. I like the cold.” 
You blink and take the jacket. You don’t like arguing. You already feel bad enough after barging in on him and MJ. You can’t stop thinking of it. God. It feels so... wrong. 
He walks you down the hall. You’re both silent. You keep distance between you as you get to the elevator and ride it without saying a word. You go out into the lobby and as you get to the front door, you grab the front of his jacket and start to push it off. 
“Please, keep your coat. I should go home--” 
“Just hear me out, okay?” He begs and stops you from taking off the coat. “Please.” 
You face him and dip your chin, “okay.” 
He sighs. You peek up from under your eyelids. He smiles nervously, cheeks pinkening, and he shifts his weight on his feet. He clears his throat. 
“Look, I’m an idiot. I went into that room with MJ. I know how she is. I’m not going to play victim here. All I can say is it won’t happen again.” His jaw ticks, “I’m a dummy. I was... I was so nervous about talking to you. I know you hate parties but I thought if I was drinking I could just tell you how I feel. And of course, it just made me stupid.” 
Your mouth falls open. He can’t be saying what you think he is. Right?
Before you can respond, the door to the lobby opens and you look over as MJ struts out. Her long legs are toned in her heels and her short leather skirt. Her hair is perfect and her makeup brings out her natural colouring. She’s perfect and you’re wearing a pleated skirt. 
You look at Peter again and deflate. 
“Peter,” MJ approaches, “why’d you run off?” 
“MJ,” he sighs, “I told you--” 
“What did you tell me before you had my tongue down your throat?” She smirks. 
“Stop,” he snips. “I said no.” 
“But you didn’t stop me,” she scoffs. “And now what? You’re scurrying around with her? Really? Her?” 
“Don’t be mean,” Peter steps between you and her, as if he’s trying to hide you. 
“You call it mean, I call it honesty,” she chirps back. 
“Get out of here. You weren’t even invited,” he snarls as he reaches back and latches onto your wrist. 
“When did you turn into such a fucking loser?” She snips and shoves him.  
He collides with you but takes most of the impact. She stomps out in her clunky heels as you turn to watch her. She doesn’t look back. 
Slowly, you spin back to Peter, “are you alright?” 
“Yeah, fine,” his shoulders droop. “Look, I get it. I screwed up. I don’t want to ruin the rest of your night. I already dragged you here. Just, take my coat, get home safe. Be done with me.” 
His eyes twinkle wetly and his nose twitches. He looks like he could cry. As small as you are, he seems even smaller in that moment. 
“You didn’t let me answer,” you say. 
His forehead lines in confusion and his lips open wordlessly. 
“I... I’m surprised is all. It’s been a weird night and...” You sway and fold your hands. “I’m kind of a mess myself. I really don’t do well in crowds. I know you know that.” You try to smile. “And I know it’s lame but... I really do try and...” you look away and your cheeks heat up. “I don’t think I would if I didn’t like you too.” 
Another suffocating silence sucks the air out of the room. You fidget and stare at your boots. You wince as Peter steps closer. He surprises you as he pulls the jacket closed and does up the zipper. As the tab reaches the top, he taps your chin and you look up at him shyly. 
“Can I walk you home?” He asks as he brushes his hand down the sleeve and tickles your fingers. 
A full smile breaks through and you nod giddily, “sure.” You grab onto his hand, vibrating in vibrant excitement. Can he feel you shaking? 
“You still cold?” He asks as he tugs you towards the door. You shake your head but as you step outside, he puts his arm over your shoulder and pulls you close. He walks you down the pavement as a blistering wind blows around you. “Gotta keep my girl warm, huh?” 
“Your... girl?” You squeak. 
He hums and squeezes you tight, “all mine.” 
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shadowbriar · 2 days
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Matt Murdock - Waste My Time I
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Pairing : Matt Murdock x (she/her)Reader  Word Count : 4.6k Warning : Some curses. Fluff. Some cliff hanger, I think? Sets on Matt's uni years. Notes : I will do some updates on the prologue to better fit the plot. Let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters. Cheers! x If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕
↞ Prologue
The smell of sugar and roasted beans were thick in the air. The establishment was packed with people. It wasn’t the usual cafe Matt and Foggy would go to. No, the cheap coffee truck on the way to the campus or perhaps the vending machine by their Advanced Constitutional Law class would do to grab a cup of americano from, but today isn’t one of those days. 
Today is one of those days when Foggy would drag him to the other side of the city just to pick up some special sandwich that would guarantee a forgiveness pass from Marci. Today is one of those days when Foggy would pay for his americano, only to forget his wallet by the bedside table. Today is one of those days when Foggy would have to make another promise to pay for his meal as the blonde had to bail and run to give Marci her sandwich.
Now Matt, ever the understanding friend, certainly paid no mind with all of the troubles Foggy dragged him into this morning. He figured he could use the long way to his classes this morning. To try and see what exactly is on the other side of the campus when the sun is still out. When he was in his normal clothes and not hunting robbers. When he could actually be Matt Murdock and not the Daredevil.
But now standing by the side aisle to pick up his order, Matt knew that the lady who was too busy arguing on the phone with who seems to be a disastrous ex-husband, accidentally picked up his americano and left him with what smells to be a matcha latte with twice if not thrice the normal sugar level.
Matt’s lips pout a little. He’s certainly not in the mood to jump start his day with a lethal dose of diabetes, but Foggy’s left minutes ago and he couldn’t just call the barista to exchange his order without actually tasting the beverage. What excuse would he give? That he could smell that the drink in his hand isn’t what he ordered?
“Hi, sorry,” A voice of salvation echoes from his right. A woman who’s now approaching him with a gentle voice greets. Matt could taste the uncertainty in her tone, how her heart beats a little awkwardly as if she wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing yet she does it anyway “I’m really sorry to be coming off as a creep like this, but I don’t think that’s your order.”
“No?” Matt asks with a raised eyebrow.
“No, I think the lady before you mistook your order.” She explained, taking the cup away from his hand “I overheard your order with your friend earlier, I was queueing behind you. You ordered an americano, right? This is a hot matcha.”
“Oh,” Matt says, feigning surprise “I wouldn’t have known.”
“Yeah.. Here, you can take my americano.” She offers, pushing her cup to his hand “I haven’t touched it or anything, I promise. It’s clean.”
“No, it’s fine I can just ask the barista—” Matt’s words were interrupted when his phone beeped, followed by the automatic reminder: his Conflict of Laws class starts in five minutes “Shit.”
“Yeah, just take it,” She insists “I’ll ask the barista to redo my order. It’s fine, really.”
“Thank you.” Matt says, accepting the warm cup at last “I appreciate it.”
“It’s no big deal.”
Matt wanted to prolong their conversation. She seems to be a genuinely kind person. Had he not been in a rush for being on the other side of the campus and having to come to class on time as Professor Barton would lock the door a second past nine, he would have stayed and continued talking to this one kind soul. At the very least, he would have asked for her name and asked if he could repay her kindness, perhaps with a slice of pizza and cold beer after class. But today isn’t one of those days.
Today is one of those days when he passed by someone he would wish he had more time to spare with. Today is one of those days when he met someone he would think of longer than the time he spent with said person. Today is one of those days when he hoped that he would meet her again.
—-
Her hair was dishevelled. She dares not to look at the time as it would only fuel her anxiety even worse. She planned to have her essays done before the clock strikes nine, but it has been hours since and she could barely call herself half way there.
The bigger side of the library has now turned dark. Students have retreated back to their bedrooms or have found themselves better things to waste the night with. It was Friday, afterall. Most wouldn’t even think of stepping their foot inside for the night, yet here she is, trying her best to stay afloat on the ocean of assignments that she’s evidently drowning in.
But when she was ready to take the consolation prize for being the most pathetic student of the year, a boy took the seat in front of her. He took out the things from his bag—several heavy textbooks and a laptop—as he tried to find comfort on the table, completely oblivious to her presence.
It was that boy. The boy she helped the other day in the cafe. Well, the word help would certainly be an overstatement as she only pointed out that he was holding the wrong order and offered hers in replacement, but she had a slight nervousness in her bones as she felt it was overstepping of her when she offered the proposal, so thinking that she was helping him feels a little rewarding and helped soothe her nerves a little.
She silently stares at him as he continues his work. His fingers trace the braille on his textbooks, mouth slightly moving as he tries to read the passages. The boy was beautiful to say the least. Like a beautiful painting you wouldn’t grow bored of even after hours of staring. The soft light of the library was hitting his face in all the right directions, enhancing his features that truthfully need no betterment yet it accentuates his beauty nonetheless.
Five if not fifteen minutes after her staring, she realises that she has to make her presence known. She wouldn’t want him to be startled if she makes any noises or movements, or worse makes him feel unsafe by her stealthy actions. The last thing she would want is to make him feel like she was a threat instead of a friend.
She taps on the table lightly, catching his attention, “Uh, I just want to let you know that you’re not alone at this table.”
“Oh, right,” The boy answers “Should I move?”
“No, no! I just wanted to let you know, that’s all. Please don’t move.” She says fast.
The boy’s lips curved into a smile but his brows knitted, “I’m sorry, have we met before? You sound familiar.”
“Uh, yeah, I’m the girl from the cafe,” She says, the same uncertainty lacing her tone “I swear I’m not trying to stalk you or anything. I just happen to be in the same place you are for some reason.”
“I never thought of you as one,” The boy says with a smile “I’m Matt, by the way.”
She tells him her name.
Matt whispers her name, letting it roll on his tongue like it’s going to settle for a long time there, “I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you doing in a library on a Friday?”
“The same reason as you have, I’m sure.” She says with a sigh, not wanting to elaborate “What major are you taking?”
“Law, you?”
“International Affairs.” She answered, biting on her pencil as she judged him “Law, huh? Well, aren’t you a smarty pants.”
Matt chuckles. 
Her heart skipped a beat.
Stupid heart.
“Listen,” Matt says after a visible nervous lick of his lips “I hope this isn’t too straight forward, but I really appreciate what you did the other day, and I figured I owe you some form of gratitude, so I was wondering if.. You’d be free some time soon? Maybe this weekend? We can grab some food and sit by the park or do whatever it is you find amusing.”
Her smile grows, “Are you asking me for a date?”
“No, I’m showing you my gratitude,” He argues “But masked as a date, yes.”
It was practically impossible for her to bite down her grin by now. Eternally grateful that most of the lights in the library are out and that he couldn’t see the stupid smile on her face. She was sure that her cheeks were red and that her eyes were as big as puppy’s with how charming Matt is. Exactly how more perfect can the man sitting in front of her be? Beautiful face, delightful talking, and certainly a brilliant mind. At this point he could either be her knight in shining armour or a complete psychopath, no in between.
“So.. Would you have any free time?”
“How’s next week? Friday?”
Matt nods, smiling softly, “Friday it is.”
—-
Days leading up to the date passed as slow as it could get, even when they were spent by meeting her at the library before his night patrols. Matt knew that it was practically wrong of him to insert himself in her life. To come uninvited to her table that night, acting as if he didn’t know it was her nor did he not know of her presence, but in his defence, he didn’t deliberately plan to meet her. It only so happened that he finished his nightly patrol quickly that night and that she was in the library when he initially wanted to spend the rest of the night finishing his paperworks.
At that moment, he thought that God was aligning their stars. It wasn’t everyday that he had the urge to finish patrol early. It wasn’t everynight that he wanted to spend the rest of the night in the library. It certainly wasn’t every Friday that he would find her there. In fact, he couldn’t recall if she’s ever been to the library before. He would’ve caught the familiarity of her scent at the cafe if she was a regular there.
Though Matt knew that he couldn’t offer much to her, not his full time nor attention as they’re both reserved to keeping Hell’s Kitchen a little safer each night, Matt was willing to give everything he has left to get to know her better. It wasn’t everyday he could meet someone who would treat her with kindness that is pacifying without any hint of humiliation. She knows just the right amount of care to show without having to walk on eggshells around him and that’s something Matt very much appreciates.
All of it felt like it was meant to be. That he was meant to get that wrong order and that she was to intervene and rescue him from that God awful latte. It felt like he was meant to go to the library that night and meet her once again. And it certainly felt like their date tonight was meant to happen.
“Oh, this is gold,” She moans as she takes another bite of their pizza.
Matt smiles, satisfied to hear her blissful commentary, “It’s good, isn’t it?”
“The best,” She says shortly. There was a sudden silence from her and Matt wonders if something had happened but she quickly speaks “Uh, you’ve got.. Um, you’ve got some sauce on your lips.”
“Yeah?” Matt asks, his free hand wiping the sides of his lips.
“It’s still there. I think it’s dried a little,” She says, that hint of uncertainty reappearing in her voice “Can I just?”
“Yeah, go for it.”
And she wipes the corner of his lips gently. The warmth of his skin was in contrast to the cold wind that gushed their way and it only amplified the butterflies in her stomach as their skin made contact. Supposed he felt the unexpected jolt of electricity too because his jaw tenses a little before he lets out a sigh when she finishes wiping his lips.
“Thanks.” Matt whispers with a smile.
She didn’t say a word, only humming a little to show response.
Had Matt not have his heightened senses, he would have thought that something wrong happened but he could hear the not-so-steady beat of her heart and how her body heat rises a little. She was just nervous, just as much, if not less erratic than he is. If only she could feel his heart and hear just how loudly it’s beating right now, acting as if it’s trying to burst forth his ribcage, she would perhaps feel a little less agitated.
It was too soon to say, but Matt couldn’t ignore all the blissful connections they’ve shared. He felt as if he’s finally met his match. The knot to his strings, the solace to his rage. He knew that there’s still so many layers of himself that he’s yet to show her, the sides of Matt Murdock and Daredevil that he’s yet to expose to her, but for reasons he couldn’t explain, he felt like he could take his time and savour the moment as it unfolds.
A little egoistic of him, but what exactly can he do at the time?
“This is great,” She says, breaking his train of thought “I very much enjoyed tonight.”
“Oh no, are we reaching the end of the night?”
“No,” She chuckles, shaking her head “I just wanted to say it, just in case I forget to and you wonder if I’m having a great time or not.”
Matt grins, his heart swells in pride and joy, “I’m having a great time, too.”
The night passes far too fast for either of their liking. There seems to be a never ending topic for the both of them to discuss. From the major they’re taking, their roommates, down to how honking your car is illegal here in New York, everything feels like an interesting subject to dissect. Like an overflowing flow of soft ripples that hit your ankles on the beach shore. Soothing and intriguing at the same time.
Both their feet now carry them around the city, directionless yet certainly not lost. She was clutching on his arm, trying to make sure that he wouldn’t trip as they walked through the park and around the neighbourhood. For most it would certainly be the most bland date as neither of them knew where to go nor what to do, but neither of them had any complaints. It was perfect as it is.
Until it wasn’t.
Matt could feel the sudden spike of her heartbeat. Whoever it is that’s standing by the porch, whoever’s house party it is that they stumbled upon, she certainly didn’t have any intention to join nor stopped by at it, yet from the sweat that’s starting to build on her skin, he knew that she has to.
“About time you appear!” Some girl yells, clearly directed at her.
“Shoot,” She mutters, sounding like she was caught red handed over some crime he wasn’t sure about “She’s going to have my head on a spike for this one.”
“Is everything okay?” Matt asks, his brows knitted in confusion.
“Yeah, it’s just my friend’s birthday and I— Fuck,” She curses, running a hand through her hair “I completely forgot it’s today.”
Matt forces a smile, “It’s fine, we can call it a night.”
“No, I’ll be right back,” She whispers to him, squeezing his arm a little before she jogs a little to the group of people on the porch.
“Oh, you’re in so much trouble,” One of the girls says as she approaches them “Gaby’s been asking for you for hours! Your phone’s dead, we couldn’t reach you—,”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” She apologises, she was honest with her apology, Matt could hear it in her heartbeat “I completely forgot about her birthday party, and I double booked tonight, and I just—”
“So you chose to bail on your best friend's birthday instead?” Her friend argues.
“I mean, he’s cute, I would totally bail on Gaby’s birthday too,” Her other friend commented, making Matt smile a little “Who’s he? I didn’t know you’re seeing someone.”
“I— It’s a long story, okay? I’ll tell you guys later,” She frantically says, trying to save herself from the wrath of her friends “I’ll call it a night with him. Please don’t tell Gaby that I forgot about her birthday, okay? Just tell her I overslept or something.”
Matt bites the inner of his cheek. One of the downplay of hearing every and each conversation others have is knowing what’s to come before it actually hits you. Sure it might come as useful for certain times, but Matt was reluctant to bid his goodbye just yet. He wanted the night to last just a little bit longer, to feel her presence just a few hours longer and to walk around with her just a few miles further. Now it’s clear that he would have to scrape those desires off of his list.
“I am so so so sorry about this,” She says as she comes close to him, her words dripping with regret and guilt “I completely forgot about her birthday party and I just— God, we should’ve taken a left from that park.”
Matt chuckles, “We should have, yeah.”
“I’m really sorry,” She says once again “I’d invite you in but I don’t know how Gaby would react with me being four hours late to her birthday party and I really don’t want you to be trialled for it with me.”
“I understand, don’t worry about it.”
“God, I’m really the biggest arsehole there is, huh?”
“For now, yes,” Matt jests “But don’t worry about it. I had a great time.”
“I had a great time, too. Do you.. Do you know the way back?”
Matt nods, “I’ll manage.”
“Okay,” She smiles apologetically, clearly not wanting to part either yet her feet are already moving towards the house as her friends continue to call for her “I’m really sorry, Matt. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
Once again, Matt nods and smiles.
He turns his body away from the house, retracing his way back to the campus. Sure it wasn’t the most ideal way to end their date, he feels like he could and deserves to yell a bit to her friends for stealing her away from him ever so rudely like that, but he figures that he’s had his fair share of her tonight. He reminds himself that it was a Friday night. It was honestly a little too good to be true for someone as delightful as her to have her night free of dates and appointments, so to find out that she’s actually booked for a party is certainly not much of a surprise. Matt only wished that he didn’t know it the way he did.
They certainly should’ve taken a left from the park and avoided this neighbourhood altogether.
“Wait, Matt!”
Matt’s pace was put to a halt. He turns back to face the direction of her voice. He could hear her slight pants and the slight jog she made toward him. A small smile returned to his face, “Yes?”
“You surely didn’t think I’d let you go without a kiss, did you?” She asks, her breathing fickle from the short exercise “Or did you not want one?”
“I’d love one,” He says fast “Please.”
Matt’s grip on his cane tightened a little as she took a step closer. She places her arms around his shoulders and Matt swore he suddenly forgets what’s to do with his limbs. He wasn’t sure if he should put his hands on her waist or should he keep still. It was very much out of character for him. He’s had kisses before, had dates with plenty of other girls, but how is it that he has no idea how to act when it comes to her?
When their lips met, Matt swears that he could climb the Empire State Building with his bare hands. It was an uneventful kiss, certainly not the most creative that he’s ever had, but the electricity he felt was beyond compare. It was as if the kisses he’s had before were mere teasers to what it truly is. Like he was deprived of something he’s been so hungry from. Like he was deprived of her.
“I had a great time tonight,” She says as they part, sounding as if the kiss didn’t just flip her whole world upside down like it did to him “I’ll see you soon?”
“Tomorrow,” He promises “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” She agrees through her smile “Goodnight, Matt.”
“Goodnight.”
—-
She chews on her lower lip as if determined to make them bleed once again. Her eyes were glued to the clock, watching as it ticks with each second instead of averting her focus back to the papers on her table. Finishing her tasks prove to be a more challenging issue to tackle with each passing day.
Before she knew it, it was already Thursday. Matt promised to meet her the next day after their date, yet such a promise was never fulfilled. She figured that he might just have to do a rain check about their meeting, perhaps having some last minute task that he has to finish before the weekend ended, but even when Monday comes, he still was a no show.
Sorry, something happened. Will be in touch once it’s resolved. M
Now what should a girl do with such a short message?
Each day she would wake up early to go to the cafe where they first met and each noon when her classes were finished, she would try to run herself to the library, hoping that he would magically pop up out of nowhere like he did the very first night they met. Those efforts prove to be no avail as the expected man never bothered to make an entrance.
She wonders if their abrupt separation was what caused him to ghost her. She argues, the kiss they shared should’ve been enough to make him overlook the unpleasant farewell. It was much more than enough for her end, but could it be that it wasn’t the same for him? Could it be that he was more baffled about her last minute dick move that he decided to cut it off? Could it be that he’s had enough of her?
“Is this seat reserved?”
Her head perched up, excited to hear the familiar voice that she so missed about, “Unfortunately, yes. It’s been reserved for a week, actually.”
Matt shows an apologetic smile, “Is it still reserved?”
“Depends,” She teases, closing her laptop as she realises that there would be no work done for the rest of the night “If the culprit could explain and give a life-threatening excuse to save himself, I suppose he can still claim his reservation.”
“What if he could only offer an apology and say that he’s desperately sorry for being a douche?”
“No explanation?”
Matt hesitates, “No, none that he could disclose.”
“Not even a little?”
“I—,” Matt licks his bottom lip. It was a habit he does whenever he’s nervous, she notices. He takes the seat and rests his white cane on the side of the table. He looks troubled, like he’s trying to piece words in his mind that he’s not familiar with “Look, I.. I don’t exactly have any explanations to give you. I just.. I have been away. And I fear that I will have to be away for more times than I’d like in the future.”
She remains quiet, listening and watching as he tries to speak.
“I like you, a lot. We had the best date of my life last week, but I don’t think I have what you’re looking for,” He continues, looking conflicted and hurt with his own words “I just— I’m sorry, I really hope I could give more than what I have, but at the same time, I selfishly don’t want to lose you either so if we could just— If we could just be friends, I think I would like that very much.”
Matt could sense the piqued beating of her heart. The news he came to bear was certainly bitter, even more to him than her if he could only be so honest. But what happened earlier this week made him realise that he wasn’t in a position to be in a relationship with anyone. Especially not with someone who looks like she’s willing to go the extra mile for him.
It was supposed to be an easy rescue mission. Some petty robbery that happened on some dingy alley of Hell’s Kitchen that he expected to be settled an hour at most, only to turn out to be a complicated one as he came home with more bruises and wounds than he could count. He had to once again lie to Foggy and say that he was the one being robbed by a group of thugs in order to be able to go to their dorm room and sleep in. But as the lies roll off of his tongue, Matt realises that she would be another person he would have to lie to everytime he comes back bruised from a patrol. She would be another person he would have to deceive with excuses that never truly touch the truth. She would be another tally in his long list of people to ask forgiveness from.
And that’s something he doesn’t think he could live in for long.
So he figured to lock himself inside for a couple of days until his bruises heal. He refuses to meet her when he’s still littered with wounds he couldn’t explain to her about. Even when his finger itches to text her, even when his feet were begging him to let them carry him to the library, even when he was yearning for him more than ever, Matt has to hold himself within the walls of his dorm room that feels like they’re closing in with every passing day.
Now that he finally looks decent enough to go back to his classes, he finally gathered the guts to see and talk to her. There was a mix of bittersweet feelings when he sensed her sitting by their table alone. Relieved to know that she’s waiting, yet sorry that he has to come bearing bad news.
“I.. I don’t know what to say,” She says, blinking rapidly as she tries to digest his words “Are you in some kind of trouble, Matt? You can talk to me if you are. We can try and figure it out.”
“No, no, I’m fine,” He answers “It’s more of a.. Me thing. I just have to deal with some things first.”
She nods, feeling a hint of grief pooling in her heart, “I see.”
There was a pause. Neither have the slightest idea to go forward from this. Both clearly want to continue whatever it is they left off, but they’re truly on a stalemate here, aren’t they? What could she do when he’s asked her to let this go and stay as friends instead? What could he do when he wanted to have her close but only have just started to be the Daredevil? What could they do when they have so much to say yet so little to share?
“I’m really sorry,” Matt says instead.
“No, I understand,” She shakes her head, forcing a smile “Friends it is, then.”
And so it begins. The never ending loop of wasting each other’s time for the sake of wasting time. The never ending cycle of stealing a brush of the other’s hand under the table for the sake of accidental touches. The never ending series of pouring each others’ heart through the stories they share just for the sake of sharing. Always more than what friends do, but never less than what lovers should.
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redrose10 · 1 day
Text
Here is #6 from the photo game!
Warnings: Swearing, hints of cheating, anxiety, depression
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A relaxing weekend spent at a cabin with your boyfriend sounded like an amazing idea at the time. No distractions, no work, just you and Yoongi spending a few days together. The fall time was the busiest time of the year thanks to the leaves changing and the brisk air making cuddling by the fireplace more desirable. To make sure you got the reservation and to get the best deal you booked the cabin six months in advance.
Then life happened and you and Yoongi got in an argument. It wasn’t anything new. You two had been together for four years and had arguments every now and then like any couple. You could tell something was different this time though. He seemed angrier, less willing to communicate and more closed off. You walked into the bedroom to give each other some space expecting to work things out later. Ten minutes went by and Yoongi walked in with red eyes and his cheeks soaked with tears.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I can’t do this any more.”, he whispered before shoving some of his clothes in a bag and running out the door. That was two months ago and you haven’t spoken since.
“Y/N you should go on the trip. Take a relaxing weekend for yourself. You deserve it.”, your best friend said over dinner.
The romantic trip you had planned with Yoongi was coming up. After all that happened you had forgotten to cancel it before the required date and now it was too late. The trip was non-refundable at this point. You thought about just loosing out but it was a lot of money.
“I don’t know. I wish you were available to go with me. Isn’t it kind of weird to go alone? Yoongi also helped pay so I don’t really think it’s fair for only me to go and even worse what if he shows up?”, you questioned.
“Y/N first off you paid for half the trip too so it’s just as much yours as it is his. Secondly I really doubt he even remembers it’s coming up. He looks pretty busy right now anyways.”
You followed her line of sight until your stomach dropped at what you saw. While you were barely able to function the last couple months Yoongi appeared to happily be on a date with another woman across the restaurant like he had moved on with no issue.
“How could he move on from me so fast?”, you asked rhetorically.
Your friend shrugged, “Maybe he’s known her for a while. He could’ve been cheating on you for all we know.”
“No he wouldn’t have done that to me. He wouldn’t have cheated.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”, she said pointing over in Yoongi’s direction. The woman he was with had turned around to grab her bag and you gasped, “Nari?”
You bit your lip trying not to cry. Nari was a producer that worked for the same company as Yoongi. She made you feel really insecure from the moment you met her. She was beautiful and smart and funny and worked as a producer just like Yoongi so they had a lot in common. You were suspicious from the first time you met her. It definitely crossed your mind a few times that maybe he liked her more than he lead on. He assured you over and over that she was nothing more than a coworker though and that you had absolutely nothing to worry about. You believed him. And now here he was staring into her eyes just two short months after breaking your heart into a million pieces. You started to wonder if maybe he really had been cheating on you that whole time. Your sadness and hurt began to change to anger the more you pondered that.
Suddenly you stood up grabbing your things. “Where are you going?”, your friend questioned confused.
“Home. I’ve got a trip to pack for.”, you gritted through your teeth.
The drive up the mountain to your cabin was a little scarier than you expected. You took your bag out of the back seat and entered in the code that the rental company had given you to gain access to the front door.
The cabin was adorable and you were really happy with your choice. It was tiny but enough for two people and more than enough for just one. The bedroom and the bathroom were at the back of the cabin and after your long stressful drive you wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and lay in bed and relax for a while before dinner.
You were drying your hair after your shower when you heard the front door open and shut followed by some jingling keys. Immediately you went into panic mode. You were alone in a cabin in the middle of the mountains. You couldn’t run anywhere and no one would hear you scream. You grabbed the fire poker from the bedroom fire place to use as a weapon and then slowly tiptoed down the hall ready to fight whomever was entering the cabin.
“What are you doing here?”, a deep familiar voice asked before you could speak. “Me?! What are you doing here?”, you spat back at Yoongi who was glaring at you.
For a brief moment you were a little relieved to see him and not a serial killer ready to claim their next victim but that relief was quickly replaced with anger.
“Seriously Yoongi, why are you here?”
Suddenly it hit you, what if he was here with Nari? Like what if he brought her here to enjoy the romantic couples trip you had planned for the two of you. You felt sick at the thought.
“I paid for half of this trip too. I need some time alone so I can work and get some stuff done.”
“What too many “distractions” at home?”, you rolled your eyes immediately thinking about him and another woman.
“Yeah actually there are. Not that it’s any of your business.”, he clapped back.
That hurt and your angry confidence faltered. Your lip began to quiver. You knew you needed to get away from him before he could see you cry.
“Fine. Do what you want. I’ll be in the bedroom.”, you said storming off and slamming the door shut behind you.
When you woke up the room was completely dark. The curtains were still open and it was clearly the middle of the night. You didn’t mean to cry yourself to sleep but you must’ve been more exhausted than you thought.
You were stretching out on the bed when your stomach started to rumble reminding you that you hadn’t eaten since the morning. Slowly cracking open the bedroom door you were met with silent darkness. Maybe you got lucky and Yoongi decided to go back home. That would be ideal you thought.
You tiptoed down the hall only to be met with the sound of soft snores coming from the couch. You peaked over finding Yoongi sound asleep all wrapped up in a blanket. He looked so cuddly and warm and you missed falling asleep with his arms wrapped around you.
Thankfully your stomach grumbled again getting you back on the right track. Yoongi was not yours to cuddle any more anyways.
The kitchen was small but livable. As quietly as possible you poked around hoping to find something you could quickly turn into a meal. Unfortunately thanks to the events earlier you didn’t even think to go to the grocery store to stock up so the kitchen was bare. You chugged a large glass of water hoping it would hold you over a few more hours until you could go get breakfast somewhere.
You turned to rinse out your glass when you saw a note sitting on the counter. The handwriting familiar,
“Pizza in the fridge. Promise I didn’t poison it. Just didn’t want to wake you. -Yoongi.”
You wanted to cry. You wanted to be angry. You wanted to run into the living room and hug him. But instead you chose to just take a slice of pizza, conveniently with your favorite toppings which only made you want to cry more, and headed back to your room to hideout until the morning.
Somehow you managed to doze off again for another few hours. The bright sun shining through the crack in your curtains waking you up this time. You got ready for the day, putting a little more effort into your appearance than you had for the last couple months. You kept telling yourself it had absolutely nothing to do with Yoongi.
The kitchen was filled with the scent of pepperoni and garlic. Just as you walked in Yoongi was pulling what was left of the pizza out of the oven.
“This will have to do for breakfast. We’ll have to go into town and get some groceries.”, he said when he noticed you.
“Oh if you want to make a list I can just go. You said you had a lot of work to do.”, you replied wanting to avoid having to spend so much time with him.
But he shook his head, “It rained quite a bit last night. The roads might be rough. We’ll go together.”
You knew there was no use in arguing with him and maybe a small part of your heart warmed up at the thought that he still worried about you like that.
“Okay. We can leave after breakfast.”, you nodded.
The drive into town was silent and uneventful. The little town was cute to say the least. You even took note of the realty company there because you wouldn’t mind moving there some day.
At the grocery store you both quickly gathered what you needed. Mostly snacks since you were only there for one more night. You grabbed some fruit and a giant tub of ice cream. Yoongi grabbed a six pack and some instant noodles.
He surprised you when he suggested you both stop for lunch. You really wanted to say no but he was driving so you didn’t have much of choice anyways. You ended up at a quaint little cafe. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming even though the tension between you and Yoongi was ice cold.
You were sat on the back patio over looking the beautiful fall foliage. Several outdoor fire pits provided more than enough warmth.
“So how have you been?”, Yoongi awkwardly asked.
“Fine I guess. Not as good as you apparently.”, you replied harsher than you meant to.
“What is that supposed to mean?”, he asked confused.
You went to apologize but were interrupted.
“Alright did you two decide what you’re having today?”, the waiter Jin asked.
“Uh yeah just the classic burger for me.”, Yoongi replied.
“The harvest soup please.”, you said handing him your menu.
After he walked away the tension between you both was thicker than before.
You realized that Yoongi had been kind through the whole trip. Saving pizza for you, sleeping on the couch without argument so you could have the bed, heating up breakfast, taking you into town and paying for the groceries, now taking you to a nice cafe and trying to have a civil conversation. You realized you had been the one making things difficult.
“Hey Yoongi I’m sorry about what I sa-“, you began but his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and you felt your blood boil when you saw the contact name flashing on the screen, Nari.
“Sorry Y/N. I have to take this.”, he said walking away from the table.
“Of course.”, you scoffed thankful that you didn’t fully apologize yet.
Feeling anxious and not wanting to just sit there any more you walked over to the balcony so you could look out over the property.
“They’re beautiful aren’t they?”, a guy said next to you. He pointed out to the field after noticing your confusion, “The trees.”
“Oh yeah. They’re gorgeous.”, you chuckled.
“They’re tulip trees. They’re even more beautiful when they bloom in the spring.”, he said, “I’m Namjoon by the way.”
He smiled flashing you the prettiest dimples you’d ever seen.
“Y/N”, you said, “Maybe I’ll have to come back in the spring to see them in bloom. That sounds quite nice actually.”
“Oh you’re not a local?”, he asked, “You know… if you want I could show you around the town a little.”
“I’d like that, but I’m just here on a little weekend trip. I leave tomorrow.”
“Oh Uhh are you here on a trip with your boyfriend?”
Your brows furrowed, “What? No I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Namjoon awkwardly chuckled, “Well um does that guy know that because he’s currently staring at us like he wants to kill me?”
You looked where he was pointing to see Yoongi standing there. His hands in his pockets while he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. And he was in fact staring daggers at you. You knew just from that look that he was furious.
“Don’t worry. He’s just a complicated friend thing person….”, you cringed.
“Okay well if you want to give me call I’d be happy to show you around. Maybe don’t bring your friend thing though.”, he laughed handing you his number.
You walked back to the table just as Jin dropped off your meals. You both ate in silence and that carried over to the drive back to the cabin too.
Once the groceries were unloaded Yoongi grabbed his headphones and laptop and went out to the back deck without a word.
You stood and watched him work for a while. The Yoongi that you knew all these years would never just give you the silent treatment. He discussed what was bothering him so that you could work together to solve it.
He answered another phone call. You figured it was Nari again so you walked away to give him some privacy.
You had just finished plating up dinner when Yoongi came walking back inside. He eyed the food and then you. “We didn’t have much to make a big meal but I put together what I could.”, you said shifting awkwardly under his gaze.
“Not hungry.”, he scoffed before turning to walk back outside.
“Seriously Yoongi, what the fuck is your problem?”
He stopped and turned to look at you, “I don’t have a problem. Why don’t you go out and have a nice dinner with your little friend you met earlier.”
You hated that you could feel tears already begin to form, “You’re one to talk.”
With three long strides he was right in front of you giving you somewhat of a startle, “Me? I haven’t done anything other than be a heartbroken mess these last two months without you but the minute a cute guy flirts with you then you’re practically trying to fuck him right there.”
You stared at him in disbelief. Your heart rate was skyrocketing. From his pocket you could hear his phone ringing again and it all came back to you.
“At least I waited until you broke up with me. You are the asshole who was cheating on me the whole time.”, you whispered as the realization of your words hit you. Tears began freely falling as you turned and ran back into the bedroom closing the door behind you.
You never expected that this trip would be filled with so much crying and hurt. It was supposed to be relaxing and fun.
You waited a while until you had calmed down and then decided you weren’t spending another night in the same cabin with Yoongi so you grabbed your bag and packed up your clothes. You did a double check making sure you had everything and with your car keys in hand you pulled open the bedroom door only to hear a loud thud followed by a groan.
Quickly you found the hall light switch flipping it on only to find a very buzzed Yoongi rolling around on the floor. The six pack he had gotten at the store now empty and tossed around him.
“Y/N please don’t leave. I need you.”, he slurred.
You looked over his face. He looked just as bad as you did if not worse. Clearly he had been crying. His nose was bright red and his eyes still teary.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”, you sighed while helping him up thankful you talked him out of the twelve pack.
Worried that he would roll off the couch you decided to let him have the bed. You were leaving anyways so it didn’t matter. Once he was all tucked in you tried once again to leave but he grabbed your wrist, “Y/N you can’t leave. I already lost you once and I can’t…I can’t do it again.”
He started to cry. You started to cry. You agreed to stay.
When you woke up the next morning Yoongi was already staring at you.
“I never cheated on you with Nari. I know that’s what you think happened.”, he said getting right to the point like the Yoongi you knew.
You stared at him in silence. Your throat was sore and your head hurt from all the crying.
He took a deep breath before continuing, “Y/N, I broke up with you because that’s what I thought was best for you. Just it’s just that the last couple months I felt like I was drowning. Work was piling up, I was spending less and less time with you. My mental and physical health were deteriorating. I saw how worried you were about me. I saw how sad you were. How tired you were. All because of me. And then I had a realization that I didn’t bring anything positive to our relationship. So when we got into that fight I saw it as my way to get you out of this. To free you from me.”
He paused for a second. He used his thumb to wipe away some of your tears that you hadn’t even realized were there again.
“But after we broke up I realized how much you held me together. I couldn’t function without you but every time I’d pick up my phone to call you or every time I’d stand outside your door ready to knock I would remind myself that this was what’s best for you. You wouldn’t be able to live your life if I was there dragging you down. But I’ve been a complete mess since that night. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. My work was slipping so bad and that’s why I had that dinner with Nari. The one you saw me at. She’s a head producer now and technically my boss. She told me that if I didn’t get my shit together that they would have to terminate my contract. That’s why she keeps calling me, to check in and see how my progress is coming along. And I’m sorry about what I said about you and that guy. If you want to go out with him it’s none of my business. I’ll work through my feelings alone.”
You sat for a moment trying to process everything that you just heard because you had no idea that he was feeling that way.
“Yoongi I’m sorry that you felt like that but you don’t get to make that decision for me. I would go to hell and back for you and with you. Part of being in a relationship is being there through not only the good times but the difficult ones too.”
After you heard sniffles coming from next to you, you noticed that he was crying. You pulled him into your lap which he happily allowed wrapping his arms around you and pulling himself as flush against you as he could. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your next to soothe himself.
“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant to hurt you. I actually wanted was trying to do the opposite.”, he spoke through sobs.
“Shhh shhh I know. We can talk more about it later.”
And you did have a long discussion about all of the events that lead up to that moment. It was much needed and helped you both to open up and put all of your feelings out there.
You agreed to take things slow but you spent the rest of the day happily wrapped in each others arms by the fireplace just like you had originally planned .
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emdabitchass · 2 days
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I wasn’t going to speak on this but I am so here we go
(I apologize in advance if I offend anyone with what I say I’m terrible at words and shit so uh yeah what I’m saying here is I might not get my point across well)
I wanna keep this short because I really don’t wanna be apart of this but here I am so I’m just gonna say what I’ve taken based off what I’ve read of peoples experiences and how they’ve taken it along with a jacks post and what they’ve told me
so this is it to my understanding
Personally I feel like this has gone on to long but basically (to my knowledge/understanding) Jack made the Circe blog but had either misread or misinterpreted what they had researched about Circe which then led to all of this
I don’t have the dates memorized or the links to posts but other people who have spoke out about this do have more information than I do
I feel like while people should be offended from just seeing the blog I think the way they handled it was kinda rude
not to say the way Jack responded to some of these weren’t kinda rude as well but they’ve ecnoledged they were wrong
I don’t wanna be roped into this but this is what I know
I hope everyone effected by this on both ends are doing well and I hope we can al move past this at some point
tags ig idk:
@wills-significant-annoyance
@of-course-im-the-winner
@the-smart-and-the-dumb-one
@zoe-aura-of-d3ath
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seedlings-stuff · 20 hours
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A Bump in the Night
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Tommy Shelby x Female Reader
Tags: Hurt/comfort, fluff, angst
Word count: 1522
Warnings: blood, wounds
(Y/N) lay in bed, attempting to sleep, but her mind was busy. She didn’t usually find it difficult to fall asleep on stormy nights; she wasn’t scared of the thunder and enjoyed the sound of the rain outside her window. She blamed her insomnia on her general anxieties about the goings-on of the Shelby boys. Tommy had grown distant recently. She knew he was busy with business but couldn’t help but blame herself. 
Maybe she was beginning to enjoy his company too much, and he could sense it, pulling away. They had been close since childhood, but she knew he wasn’t one for stable relationships. It was also just as likely that he had no idea of her feelings and simply didn’t care about her. Either way, all of this rationalising was causing her to lose sleep. At least she had the calming sound of the rain to keep her company.
Suddenly, a banging noise pulled her out of her thoughts. That didn’t sound like thunder. Sitting up in bed, she listened intently; a rhythmic banging came from her front door. Someone was trying to get inside. Reaching under her bed, she shakily took out a pocket knife she kept in case of intruders. 
Dressed in only her night clothes, she crept silently towards her door, the banging not letting up. It didn’t seem like a break-in, only someone knocking incessantly. Quite unusual for this time of the evening. Less sure it was a violent intruder, she unlocked the door and began to pull it open. She suddenly felt the door's weight push onto her as a man stumbled inside.
“Tommy!” (Y/N) gasped in surprise as she put her hands out to steady him. Immediately, her confusion by his presence was replaced with anxiety as she surveyed him. She’d never seen him like this before—crumpled, barely holding onto consciousness. His usual hard stare was unfocused, and she could feel the tremors of pain through his shoulders.
“Tommy, what happened?” (Y/N) questioned. “Nothin’,” he grunted through clenched teeth. (Y/N) didn’t know what to do. Tommy’s breaths came in short, ragged gasps, his skin pale and clammy under the flickering light. Here was Tommy, in a state she’d never witnessed him in, and he was still being as stubborn as ever.
“M’sorry for bothering you at this hour”, he whispered, his breath growing more strained. “No, Tommy, come in”, she choked as she quickly closed the door behind him, carefully guiding him to her couch. 
He winced as she helped him to sit down, and she noticed the dark red stain under his coat. “I’m sorry,” she apologised in advance, removing his coat. Tommy stifled a groan as she shifted him to get a better look. 
Dark red stained his white shirt, fresh blood still oozing from an entry wound in his side; he had been shot. “This doesn’t look like nothing, Tommy” She attempted to move his shirt away from the site, but he flinched hard. As (Y/N) peeled back the fabric, the sight of the crimson stain blossoming against his skin made her stomach churn. 
(Y/N) looked to him again; he grew pale, teeth clenched as he watched her work. “I’m sorry, just wait here a second,” she said, retrieving her first aid kit. With trembling hands, she managed to cut away the blood-soaked garment without too much protest from Tommy. She worked quietly, unsure what to say as he watched her. As she slowly removed his shirt, she couldn’t help but notice the blooming blue bruises decorating his torso; whatever had happened, it hadn’t been a fair fight. 
(Y/N) passed Tommy a bottle of spirits and he took a swig before handing it back to her. She tried to focus on pouring the alcohol onto a cloth, but her hands shook as she pressed it against his bleeding side. Here was Tommy, the man she cared for deeply, and he was vulnerable, inches from her face. What was she supposed to do with that? A lump formed in her throat, but she swallowed it back. Now wasn't the time to think about her feelings. 
“I’m sorry, Tommy”, she whispered, more to herself, as she reached into the wound to find the bullet. He yelled out in pain, writhing under her touch before she stopped suddenly. “Please, Tommy! You have to be still!” she cried, his groans of pain threatening to overwhelm her as she resumed her search for the bullet. She felt his hand grip her shoulder hard as she found the hard metal embedded in his flesh, pulling it out quickly to inflict as little pain as possible. She heard Tommy gasp in relief as soon as it was removed, and he almost folded over her. 
(Y/N) fought her urge to melt into his embrace, and she straightened him up, packing more rags onto the wound to halt the bleeding. Silently thanking Polly for teaching her to sew, she gently stitched up the wound and dressed it appropriately. After a moment of quiet, Tommy’s voice broke the silence. 
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” he muttered, his eyes still half-closed in pain. “I shouldn’t have come here.” (Y/N) paused, her heart pounding as she processed his words. She had expected Tommy’s usual stubbornness, but his voice was different tonight—edged with regret, almost guilt.
"Why do you always think you have to handle everything alone, Tommy?" she asked, tears threatening her vision.
He didn’t answer at first; he just stared at the ceiling as if trying to find the right words. His jaw clenched, and she thought she saw a flicker of emotion pass his face. 
"Because it’s safer that way," he said cooly. "For everyone."
(Y/N)’s brow furrowed, her hand slowly pulling away from his side. Safer? What did that even mean?
"Safer?" she echoed. "Tommy, you came here bleeding. You nearly collapsed on my doorstep. How is this safer?"
He let out a dry, humourless laugh—no joy in his eyes. They were clouded.
"Because if I keep you at a distance," he muttered, "you won’t get caught up in it."
Her heart tightened at his words. God, he was so stupid! Could he not see how much she cared for him? She stood up abruptly, staring down at him.
"So that’s it? You shut me out, disappear for days, and expect me to just… what, not care? Pretend none of this matters?" She shakily took a deep breath, trying to push her anger down. "Tommy, I’ve known you my whole life. You think I don’t see what’s going on? You think I’m not already ‘caught up in it’?"
Tommy’s gaze dropped, unable to look her in the eye. "I didn’t ask for any of this," he said, wincing. "I didn’t ask for you to be involved."
(Y/N) felt her chest tighten even more. It was always the same—he decided what was best for her without asking what she wanted. "Well, I am involved, Tommy," she replied, her voice quieter now. “And you came here for my help. So just let me help you for once.”
He looked up at her. His best friend, his confidant, was still standing there trying to get through to him despite his constant coldness towards her. He was so tired, so worn out, and she was right. He dropped his head in defeat.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, then you can take my bed. I don’t want to drop you back at Polly’s at this hour. And you need to rest.”
~
(Y/N) had somehow managed to half carry Tommy into her bed, propping his head up for easy breathing. With his wound cleaned, he appeared to be more comfortable, and the painkillers she gave him seemed to soften his stubbornness, too. 
She felt slightly awkward sitting by Tommy as he drifted off, keeping an eye on him before she retreated to the couch in the living room. He had never let (Y/N) see him in such a vulnerable state, but with his eyes closed, and his breathing softened; he appeared to her as he did before the war. Moments of their childhood together fought their way into her mind. She bit her lip, fighting back tears as she looked at the broken man before her. Before she could rehash any more memories, she stood up to leave, her creaky chair giving her away.
“Don’t go”.
(Y/N) looked back to Tommy, her heart lurching as he held his breath, eyes searching hers. She hesitated before sitting on her bed beside him.
“I’ll stay. Try and get some sleep.”
Tommy reached out his hand to hers, their fingers interlacing. (Y/N) slowly lay down beside him, careful not to cause Tommy any more pain. Feeling the warmth of his hand wrapped around hers, (Y/N) felt at ease for the first time in a while. She knew that this night hadn’t changed the walls he'd built around himself, but with the rain against the window and his breathing soft beside her, it was enough.
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itsnotbird · 1 day
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Orphic ~ File 7
Selcouth (adj.) ; Unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous
Bucky!Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: tw for mentions of past trauma, Bucky being obsessive hehe
Previous part here
Masterlist pinned on my blog
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Bucky stayed away.
Far away.
He hopes that it might help the fever growing inside of him, that he could sleep soundly if he forgot the way you sound while breathing. It worked in his favor, he hadn’t been needed at the compound for a week, so it was just him and his melancholy apartment.
The distance didn’t cut the thought of you out entirely.
That was the hard part.
And while he walked down the street and thought about how you were handling the colder weather coming, you were in some sort of agony.
It had the same buzz as when you were going through the horrid withdrawal, just felt a little different. You grew more comfortable in your home, you grew closer with your new family, and the days moved by without your James.
It’s the end of the week without him and you sit in the spiny chair in the meeting room with the team, listening to the new plan for the mission. You’ve slowly been understanding and remembering things, helpful things that lead to a potential deal happening in the city.
They decide who would best suit this mission, who will go undercover, who will wait in the get away van.
Your knees are curled to your chest, nails picking at the rips in your jeans and you suddenly have the urge to speak.
“I want to go.”
The room comes to a halt.
“Holy shit, she can speak.” Sam says with bewilderment.
“Of course I can speak, I just didn’t like to…I’m fine now.” You explain.
They all have a peculiar look, but they go with it.
“Blue…are you sure it’s smart for you to go?” Tony asks, mind ridden with concern.
You look over at him. “I’m in control of my power, I won’t hurt anyone.”
Steve adds in. “Are you sure you can jump into action if something happens?”
You giggle. “I was a huntress for over a decade, I think I can handle business.”
You sit straight, then continue. “Besides, I want to do more to bring this whole shindig down.”
Maybe it’s the fact they are still so stunned that you’re speaking, or something else, but they seem to comply easily.
“Alright…Blue will go with the Cap and Romanoff undercover.” Tony declares. “We need to get you in the training room…just to make sure you know what you’re doing.”
You gave him a look, knowing well that he just wanted to throw things and watch you deflect them.
And it seems that was the case for the rest of the Avengers.
“Anyone else scared?” Sam asks, standing behind the protective glass with the rest as you pull your hair up and shrug your ugly sweater off.
“Five bucks says Cap throws in the towel.” Nat bets with Clint.
“Oh you are so on.” He whispers back. “Let’s hope she doesn’t get too hurt.”
Wide eyed, they watch you hold your own in hand to hand combat with Steve, but one leg sweep and your one the ground.
The team cringes.
Then mutter to each other as you jump right back up and get a serious look in your eye.
“She’s pissed now.” Sam laughs, cheering you on.
Steve may be an advanced fighter, he’s twice your size, but he gets tossed like a rag doll with the move of your hand. A line of glowing blue strikes him, he falls backwards.
“Very impressive.” Wanda compliments.
Steve continues to come at you, and Tony laughs hysterically as he gets bashed around.
“Beautiful!” Tony claps, making you proudly smile at the praise. “What else can you do?”
“Uh…I don’t want to hurt him…” You say, unsure.
“What? He’s fine. You’re fine, right?” He turns to Steve.
Steve rolls his aching shoulder, panting slightly as he nods. “I can do this all day, hit me.”
You look at him, making sure he’s okay before you twitch your fingers, sending a bolt of electricity straight to him.
“Oh shit!” Sam exclaims, laughing in amusement as Steve stands there, twitching with bared teeth. “I know that doesn’t feel good.”
Steve falls to his knees, you immediately stop and come before him. Hand on his cheek, you ease the pain you just caused him. He breathes with relief.
“How do you do that?” He asks, getting the strength to stand.
“I can make you do anything I want you to.” You confess.
“Make him do something!” Tony urges, way too excited about this.
“Take mercy on me.” Steve whispers, a half goofy smile.
You rub his cheek, returning the smile. Looking him in the eye, your eyes glow an entrancing blue. Immediately, Steve stops any movement, completely still as you whisper to him.
“Steve…are you listening?” You ask softly.
He nods mechanically.
“Go hug Tony.” You instruct.
Like an obedient soldier, he turns and marches straight for Tony.
“No, stay the hell away from me.” Tony steps away.
Steve just follows, causing the man to panic. The team watching laughs as Tony shouts for you to reel him back in.
“Steve. Stop.” You call.
His feet halt.
“Okay…that’s scary.” Banner agrees, watching as you brake the trance.
Steve shakes his head, almost like he’s clearing the brain fog. Then, he looks to Tony. “Yeah, she’s all yours, I give up.”
“Ha!” Nat laughs in Clints face, holding her palm out for the cash.
Clint pouts as he gives her the money.
You’re shooting at the practice targets as Steve joins the rest of them. They look to him in anticipation for his words.
“Yeah.” Steve nods. “She’ll do just fine.”
Then he nurses his hurt ribs.
- - - -
A deep breath in, he steps through the first doors of the living quarters.
It was after dinner, maybe you were already asleep?
That’s a wishful thought that he doesn’t fully like.
If you were asleep, he couldn’t watch you from a distance, he couldn’t get that faint scent of vanilla and cherry that followed you.
But if you were locked in your room, he could keep his dignity.
But he’s never been a lucky man, that’s why when he makes it to the common space, he sees you very much so awake, sitting in front of the tv, watching what looked like The Breakfast Club.
Now if it were just you, he’d linger for a second, watch you, maybe sit beside you. But it’s much worse, you’re leaned into Steve with his arm around your shoulders, and Wanda is on your other side, head leaned onto Vision’s shoulder.
Bucky’s jaw sets, he glares at the scene that looks too much like a double date.
Nat comes in with a bowl of popcorn, settles on the carpet right under you. And Bruce comes to swap a few jokes with her, then joins her.
And Tony of all people, is sat in the sectional, actually enjoying the movie. Pepper, who the team hardly sees because she’s super woman and runs a business while mothering a daughter she just put to bed, comes in and the team rejoices, all smiles as she sits with her husband.
What the hell was this? A love affair?
Sam approaches behind the soldier who is glaring daggers.
“Aw, a little love fest, how cute.” He snickers, trying to rile Bucky up. “Even Clint went home to his wife, everyone has someone, huh? Oh, except you.”
“You’re one to talk.” Bucky argues.
“Well I’m a little less pathetic about it.”
He turns to look at the grinning man. “Trust me, you’re plenty pathetic.”
Then he turns back to you, how you laugh at a scene and lay more comfortably on Steve.
Like a devil on his shoulder, Sam is there, whispering.
“Aren’t they just cozy? You think Steve’s gonna make a move?”
Bucky’s metal fist clenches.
“I bet you, the next time he laughs, he’s gonna pull her a little closer…surprised she isn’t nuzzling into his neck now.”
“Sam.” Bucky warns. “If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to dismember your limbs.”
“Nah uh, you’re not supposed to hurt people, Doctor’s orders.” Sam states, laughing for a moment before he gets serious.
“If you want to be in Steve’s spot, then you need to man up and make a move.” He says.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bucky shakes his head.
“Oh really? So it’s not killing you that she’s close with him? You don’t want to rip your best friend off the couch right now?”
He hates that Sam’s right.
Bucky sighs, then relaxes his body. “Wouldn’t make a difference if I make a move, she doesn’t need me, she’s got enough problems to deal with. I got enough problems to deal with. Besides, she has Steve.”
Sam chuckles again. “Very poetic, man, but that was a dumb reason. And have you read her file? The girl has attachment issues, she’s close with everyone she feels safe with, doesn’t mean she has a thing for them.”
“No.” Bucky corrects. “I haven’t read her file, but apparently everyone else has.”
You lean down to ask Nat a question about the movie, and your hand rests on Steve’s knee as you do so.
Bucky’s had enough.
He leaves, walks off in the direction of his room quickly, making him a shadow.
But you feel his energy move past and you turn your head quickly, trying to find him. You only see his retreating form.
Your mood immediately deflates.
Wanda looks over at you as you slump back into the couch, questioning you silently. You just put on a smile and nod, showing her you were fine.
You weren’t fine, you had an ache that festered and festered inside of you.
Bucky wasn’t much better, sitting alone in his room for hours while he listened to the movie end and everyone settle in, going off to bed.
What catches his attention is the folder that slides under his door, a note from Sam on it that reads ‘Try to understand her the way we do’.
He crumbles it up and tosses it.
Sitting at his desk, Bucky holds the file in his hand and it’s heavy, weighted.
Slowly, he opens it.
And the air gets kicked from his lungs.
Evidence photos, countless marks and bruises, scars. There’s countless pages from your therapist, write ups from agents who you spoke with, words from Nick Fury himself who is fond of you.
Attachment issues, abandonment issues
…self destructive tendencies…
…unstable signs… night terrors…relapse of memory
Follows orders well…very intelligent…
Can be triggered by mentions of her past traumas.
Subject to panic attacks.
He feels sick, reading all of it.
And much like your actions to his file, he rereads yours multiple times until he doesn’t feel like he’s going to pass out.
It keeps him up, he lays on the floor next to his bed and thinks over everything.
When he thinks he’s exhausted enough, he shuts his eyes, only for a migraine to hit.
Yet another lasting effect from his past.
He lays there miserable for a moment too long before pulling sweatpants on and going to the kitchen, searching for something simple as Ibuprofen…that he’ll take five of them just so it will make a dent in his system.
He chugs a glass of water, then goes to sit on the couch in front of the large window in the common room. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he almost doesn’t notice the figure going into the kitchen.
Your steps are extremely light, but a blue orb follows you, illuminating your path, so he knows it’s you.
In the darkness, he sits completely still. The cloud cover moves away and the moonlight seeps in to paint him a shade of light blue.
You startle as you see him, water sloshing in your glass.
He doesn’t say a word, just watches you pause and read him.
A shirt swallows your frame, he can barely see the plaid boxers you wear.
“Hello, James.” You greet.
“It’s really ominous when you say that.” He states back, rubbing his temple now.
“Are you sick?” You ask, fiddling with the orb above you, letting it fade out.
“Just a migraine, I’ll live.” He says in a tone that gives way to his discomfort.
You come forward, setting your glass on the coffee table and stand before him.
He looks up in question. “Not any less ominous, doll.” He sighs, looking away and missing the way his nickname affects you.
“I can help.” You say. “…Won’t you let me?”
His head pounds further at the deja vu, because even though you’ve never asked him that, he’s heard those words before in his dreams.
His lips part, but no words come out.
Cautiously, you sit beside him, your touch gentle as you turn his face to you.
He watches you with those round blue eyes, feeling his heart beat wonky.
You hold your fingers an inch from the center of his forehead, and he’s further illuminated by the glow of blue. You hum, feeling the pain he feels.
“What…what are you doing?” He asks in a tone that comes out softer than intended.
“I’m just…feeling you, and trying to make it better.”
“You aren’t permanently damaged, you have feelings, James.” Dr Raynor had told him. “It’s a possibility that you are enamored by this woman.”
He isn’t sure if that’s the word. But he feels something rising in him, it’s heavy on his lungs, it makes him feel warm. Perhaps because no one has done a caring act for him in a long time, or maybe it’s because he can feel his soul reaching out and tangling itself in yours. It’s obsessive and caring and entirely strange, but it’s not wrong.
“And what do you feel?” He asks, his throat bobbing.
Your eyebrows drawn, you look into his eyes. “Just you.”
“Is it terrible?” He asks, not any hint of sarcasm.
You shake your head, pulling the pain from him, soothing his head. “You could never be terrible, I don’t think.”
Fuck. You are entirely strange and rare and marvelous.
He breathes clearer as the pain is gone. He reaches out, softly grasping your wrist and it earns a small gasp from you.
Then his palm is meeting yours like he needs to see if you’re one in the same. His touch is warm, you watch the way his hand is considerably more larger than yours.
You slow his heart out of fear that it might burst.
“Tell me why you’re always in my head.” He asks in a husky and breathless tone.
“You first.” You whisper.
He takes your hand, pressing his lips to your palm and you stop breathing entirely.
The feeling in you is new, one you’ve never felt. But he’s sitting too close, looking too good, being so gentle, you have an urge to…cry?
You watch him carefully, dissecting every move.
In truth, Bucky isn’t sure what he’s doing but he knows he wants to. He pressed the tips of your fingers to his lips, trying to understand what’s happening behind your eyes. As he pulls your hand away, it’s like your body moves on its own. You lean forward, rushing your lips to his before you can process what’s happening. You’ve kissed men in your career, all out of business, never for pleasure. This is different, this is an invisible force that wants you to latch onto him and not let go.
Bucky’s eyes widen as you kiss him almost harshly, it short circuits his brain. He can’t even process what to do before you’re ripping yourself away, completely spooked.
Not knowing exactly what to say, you just mutter an apology and rush away, back to your room.
Bucky’s left in the darkness, skin tingling.
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calmingwinter · 3 days
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How does shifting work? You just lay down somewhere and imagine you're someone else? Are you conscious of this reality when you shift? How does the time passage work in there? Do you experience hunger/thirst (+ do you need bathroom breaks)? Can anyone do it? I'm curious and I'd like to try but my imagination is terrible and I barely ever dream, would it work? Is there a way to practice? How did you start? Did/do you use any additional resources?
Thanks in advance for a reply and any pointers you could give, have a nice day :)
Hello!
I don’t really understand what you mean by "how shifting work" but here is my respond, your already in your dr, that’s you, you’re just not conscious in the other you.
You can, it’s called visualisation. But that’s not something mandatory, you can shift however you want if you believe you can then you will.
About this one I’m not 100% sure but when you shift your consciousness is believed to fully move to your dr, leaving your body in your cr on "autopilot." Some people think a small part of your consciousness stays in cr to maintain basic functions.
There is not a special time for everyone, you can even script how much time here is there, for example : when 1hour pass here, 1week has passed in you dr when you shifted.
It really depends on anybody, being hungry/thirsty or wanting to go to the toilet do not change even if you shift but I don’t think you understand what I just say. It’s like, shifting does not change anything inside of you do you get me ?😭 and if your questions was about when you take consciousness in your dr then that also depends, if you want to be hungry, ext when you wake up in your dr, then you will but if you don’t want to, you won’t.
Yes, anyone on this earth can shift. You especially. Never forget that you are powerful and every damn time you try or shift is not un useless.
Yes you can definitely shift even if you’re bad at affirming or visualising ext.
Honestly I would say no, because shifting is not a practice in the way that you have to do or try it many times to shift.
I started because of TikTok, yk in 2020 shifting blew up and everyone started doing it. I remember my first dr being attack on titan and straykids lmao I was so cringe…
not really, but I think trumblr was a big help in my shifting journey, but what’s good for me is not necessarily good for you or anyone else. Everyone has their own shifting journey.
I loved responding to all your questions! Have fun in your shifting experience! 😋😋
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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mythrite · 14 days
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*reading about gifted children and the mental issues that come with it*
uhhh… “intellectually operating at a 10th grade level at age 9 but have not mastered riding a bike or handwriting at the same time”
hah relatable i still can’t—
“often describe feeling that they lack a “true friend.” The social development of many gifted children mirrors their academic development in that they are often ready for a more mature friendship at an earlier age compared to their age-peers who might only be concerned with having someone to play with. “
oh. well shit that was a bit personal
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tojiscrack · 22 days
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finally got around to reading soano and this is peak its so funny god i love your writing thanks for feeding me
omg?? you’re the third dual-reader! 🥹
i’m levitating rn i swear, like gravity isn’t working on me rn 😟🩷
i’m soo glad you enjoyed it, that story is pure crack which makes it so fun to write (and it’s also my first piece of writing so the first few chapters aren’t the greatest and are in dire need of some editing but oh well, i’ll get round to that later lmao).
your support means the world to me — it gives me motivation to write so i’m gonna get out of bed (it’s 2:36pm, the last day i’ll ever get to sleep in like this since school starts tmr) and go write! <3
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cassandralexxx · 2 months
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I don’t know what kind of drugs I must be on but tell me why I’m trying to compose a piano piece 💀💀💀
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herleaf · 2 months
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Time to scream into the void and abyss, separately. So neither one feels left out.
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