#not Darren Shan weird but weird

[quillyfied]

No you know what I feel like I have to map this out now, because I’ve been informed that my vampire phase was Not Normal so I’m wondering if anyone else here on the Not Normal Website had something similar:

I started out utterly terrified of vampires. Series of nightmares as a young kid, watching a single scary moment of an episode of Buffy (where she wasn’t even fighting a vampire, I don’t think, just having a conversation with Willow, turned around and killed something scary, went back to her conversation), the Hey Arnold episode where they thought the hillbilly kid was a vampire and then he was bc Halloween episode scared me, it was a Thing. Idk.

Age thirteen, I pick up “In the Forest of the Night” by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. She wrote it when SHE was thirteen. I felt immediate kinship. And fell in love with the story itself. And subsequently vampires. I devoured her entire body of work at the time, and kept up with it for a while. I thought she was evocative and creative and original with her world building.

Next: Cirque du Freak by Darren Shan, which I saw another kid on the bus reading before I had the courage to approach vampire fiction but the title stuck in my mind. That was. A trip. Got especially weird at the end; saw echoes of it in the Critical Role Campaign 2 fight against the giant baby head creature that unsettled me more than the actual fight did. Overall an unusual experience that I think I want to let rest in my teenage years forever actually.

Then, Angel. Because Buffy was over, my friends were obsessed with Joss Whedon, and Angel aired right after dinner and sometimes my family watched it with me. It was entertaining. Then the stuff with Fred happened and I lost enthusiasm for it. But the stuff with Connor and Cordelia was…particularly impactful, I would say.

Twilight was a huge part of it but it was also pretty much the last piece of vampire fiction I read and retained in any way. Interview with the Vampire and Dracula were both attempted, and I liked Interview well enough, but I wasn’t quite ready for Dracula and didn’t retain it. In my adult years I’ve read a few more vampire books (Fred the Vampire Accountant, The Reformed Vampire Support Group), but. Can’t really fight the formative years, and here they are.

[mystery-of-arkham-asylum]

A list of books I have read this year. Will reblog everytime I update as I read more. Doing this a a bit of fun and to hopefully motive myself to read a bit more like I used to.

(I would like to state that I do not share/approve of the views or opinions of a certain author on this list. I just enjoy the books and won't let some poor excuse of a human being ruin them for me.)

First time reading | Reread

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J.K.Rowling

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- J.K.Rowling

The Sheep-Pig - Dick King-Smith

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K.Rowling

Cirque Du Freak - Darren Shan

The Vampire's Assistant - Darren Shan

Tunnels of Blood - Darren Shan

The Tale of Peter Rabbit - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin - Beatrix Potter

The Tailor of Gloucester - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Benjamin Bunny - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Two Bad Mice - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of The Pie and The Patty-Pan - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher - Beatrix Potter

The Story of a Fierce Bad Rabbit - Beatrix Potter

The Story of Miss Moppet - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Tom Kitten - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Jemima Puddle Duck - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Samuel Whiskers or the Roly-Poly Pudding - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of The Flopsy Bunnies - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Ginger and Pickles - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mrs Tittlemouse - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Timmy Tiptoes - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mr. Tod - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Pigling Bland - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Johnny Town-Mouse - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Little Pig Robinson - Beatrix Potter

Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes - Beatrix Potter

Celily Parsley's Nursery Rhymes - Beatrix Potter

Winnie-the-Pooh and some Bees - A.A.Milne

Pooh Goes Visiting & Pooh and Piglet nearly catch a Woozle - A.A.Milne

Owl becomes and author - A.A.Milne

Eeyore has a birthday - A.A.Milne

Kanga and Baby Roo Come to the Forest - A.A.Milne

An Expotition to the North Pole - A.A.Milne

Piglet is entirely surrounded by water - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin gives a Party - A.A.Milne

Eeyore loses a tail - A.A.Milne

A House is Built at Pooh Corner - A.A.Milne

Tigger comes to the Forest - A.A.Milne

A Search is organdized - A.A.Milne

Tiggers don't climb trees - A.A.Milne

Rabbit has a busy day - A.A.Milne

Pooh invents a new game - A.A.Milne

Tigger is unbounced - A.A.Milne

Piglet does a very grand thing - A.A.Milne

Eeyore finds the Wolery - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin and Pooh come to an enchanted place - A.A.Milne

Pooh's Poems - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin returns to the Forest - David Benedictus

The Spelling Bee - David Benedictus

Rabbit organises almost everything - David Benedictus

It Stops raining for ever - David Benedictus

Pooh goes in search of honey - David Benedictus

Owl becomes an author - David Benedictusk

Everybody learns something - David Benedictus

The Game of Cricket - David Benedictus

Tigger Dreams of Africa - David Benedictus

The Harvest Festival - David Benedictus

Yellow Submarine - The Beatles

The Answer - Rebecca Sugar

Guide to the Crystal Gems - Rebecca Sugar

Keep Beach City Weird - Matt Burnett and Ben Levin

Young Zaphod Plays It Safe - Douglas Adams

Vampire Mountain - Darren Shan

Trials of Death - Darren Shan

The Vampire Prince - Darren Shan

Coraline - Neil Gaiman

Cycle of the Werewolf - Stephen King

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

Troll Bridge - Terry Pratchett

Turntables of the Night- Terry Pratchett

The Sea and Little Fishes- Terry Pratchet

Hunters of the Dark - Darren Shan

Escape from Bloodcastle - Jenny Tyler

Curse of the Lost Idol - Gaby Waters

The Incredible Dinosaur Experdition - Karen Dolby

Time Train to Ancient Rome - Gaby Waters

Agent Arthur's Jungle Journey - Martin Oliver

Agent Arthur on the Stormy Seas - Martin Oliver

The Ghost in the Mirror - Karen Dolby

Agent Arthur's Artic Adventure - Martin Oliver

Journey to the Lost Temple - Susannah Leigh

The Pyramid Plot - Justin Somper

The Emerald Conspiracy - Mark Fowler

Mutiny at Crossbones Bay - Mark Burgess

Jonathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Bach

A Day with Wibur Robinson - William Joyce

Allies of the Night - Darren Shan

Killers of the Dawn - Darren Shan

[aubreve-art]

Starting off with one of my favourite characters from the very first fandom I got into, Gannen from the Darren Shan Saga. This poor man lived rent free in my teenage mind longer than I’d like to admit - then I found @thevampatease ‘s blog and their analyses made me love the whole series even more.

Is it weird to dedicate posts on here? Anyway this is for them :)

[daemondaes]

name: che

height: 5'3-ish. close enough to average. i can reach the top shelf, and at the end of the day, that's what matters.

nickname / s: chebureki, chechival, cheeble, chevalier, jam.

nationality: californian. 😎

favourite fruit: peach. 🥹🙏 strawberry is second. grape is third.

favourite season: spring? the benefits of summer hours with less of the summer heat. fall is nicer for layering tho

favourite scents: gasoline, bread, vanilla, citrus, books.

favourite animals: baby hippos (only baby), small dogs (esp chihuahuas), cows.

tea, coffee, hot cocoa: green tea, or else coffee with milk and, if i've been good, a sprinkle of cocoa powder.

average hours of sleep: uh. probably like 4-5 if i have to be somewhere in the morning, 8-10 if i don't.

when my blog was created: this incarnation? my earliest post was apparently 23 may 2020, so we're coming up on that 4 year anniversary 😏 but the first standalone cherry blog was from 2016? the oldest muse on here to originate on tumblr (ciel) emerged in late 2011. the oldest oldest muse on here originated off-tumblr in like 2008/9 on gaiaonline (talking abt u, naux).

# of followers: i normally wouldn't answer this, but i will tell u now that it is 365 just because that's such a satisfying number? got a buddy here for every day of the year 😎 that's a lie tho bc the number is broken and doesn't really fluctuate no matter how many people i gain or lose LOL i'm pretty sure like 4/5 people on the list are inactive tho, so please help me make more friends

random fact: my bedroom is ridiculously girly, soft pinks and pale greys and whites with gold accents, loads of pillows and plushes and decorative doodads, but i myself dress almost entirely in black. it's a little like putting wednesday in enid's room. not quite sure what that says about me.

favourite food: the humble tuna sandwich. i'm counting lemonade as a food here, just so i can add it in. i like lemonade even more than i like tuna.

favourite t.v. shows: flcl, dead boy detectives, good omens, i love lucy, king of the hill, the simpsons, lupin iii.

favourite movie: my letterboxd top 4 are some like it hot (1959), ghostbusters (1984), mad max: fury road (2015), and back to the future (1985)...but if i could have a fifth, it would be austin powers (1997).

sexuality: i like girls a lot more than i like guys, but i'm too busy and too broke to even think about that 😤

pronouns : she/they/any? idc abt labels and boxes, but it's weird that u're talking about me when i'm not there /:

favourite book series: howard the duck 😏 did you think i'd really make it to the end of this without mentioning him? this is also my chance to plug fly by night by frances hardinge, and its sequel, fly trap (or twilight robbery in the UK). there's also the monster blood tattoo trilogy by d.m. cornish that i desperately wish i'd held on to because it's apparently out of print now! my blood boils every time i remember. it would be remiss if i didn't mention a series of unfortunate events, just because i do think it was very influential for me. i'm about to reread the saga of darren shan/cirque du freak for the first time since middle school, so wish me luck 😤

favourite video game/s: god, fuckin...idk, tetris? roblox??? i'm not a gamer at all. i can't play anything unless i'm playing with a friend. that's a lie, i played baldgate3. the only thing i play is the sims 4. i'm trash

favourite subject: [scuttles around on all fours, twitching and foaming at the mouth] school bad! school BAD! (my three passions are history and fashion and film, but i don't love the academic system. Cs get degrees, etc. my own degree was in creative writing, and now i'm trapped in retail hell, so be smarter than me, kids! except also i hear even stem is useless these days? society is crumbling so bad, i—)

guys or girls: i prefer drawing guy faces and girl bodies. idk what u're getting at here

last time I cried: last night, conveniently

what I should be doing: taking out the trash, cooking up curry, cleaning the bathroom, polishing my spanish and diving into mandarin, writing, drawing, job hunting. continuing my goal of watching 365 movies this year. sweeping up the feathers of my cockatiel, galileo, because it's Moltin' Time. the usual 🤷‍♀️

favourite fandoms: i actually don't participate in fandom LOL i just lurk. chat about stuff in discord—DMs, not servers. i have so much art and music in my head, but i don't have the mobile dexterity and stamina for it anymore. maybe one day...

tagged by: @hatchetsfield (thanks, pidge!) tagging: anyone who learned a thing about me from this

[andreabaideas]

about me

Hi, everyone/ Hola a todos / Salut!

i like many things, that i usually like to discuss with other people.

90's bitch (born in 1995).

• Nothing is sacred (except my family) that means that i can laugh at, criticize and enjoy things all at the same time.

• Many fandoms : The Hunger Games, Twilight (renaissance), True Blood, Daisy Jones and the Six,Poldark , Drácula (book) , Vampire Chronicles (Anne Rice), Darren Shan saga, Hannibal (Bryan Fuller), The Walking Dead, Agatha Christie. Edgar Allan Poe. Guy de Maupassant. Stephen King. Lost Girl, Les revenants, Vampire Mascarade, Vampire Diaries universe, Guillermo del Toro's universe. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV). American Horror Story . Old french movies (Nouvelle Vague). Animated movies too.

There are plenty more, but those are the main ones.

• "Bonjour Tristesse", "Les enfants de la pluie" and "Portrait de la jeune fille en feu" own my heart.

• Anything with witchy vives ❤️.

• Feminist ♀️(everyone should be TBH).

• I love art and photography.

• I LOVE indie, folk, rock, pop and classic music.

• I love horror movies, mainly gothic tales, but i've watched a lot of different things really, many old and weird ones too. One of my faves its Carnival of souls (1962), that no one i know has watched (besides me).

• Indie movies ❤️ too

• Vampire obsessed. If It has vampires i've probably watched It TBH.

• I speak three languages fluently , though English isn't my first language. Je parle français très bien. My native language IS spanish (i'm from Madrid, Spain). ¡Hola gente!

• I like many actors and actresses.

My faves are :

Men : Sam Claflin (my fave ❤️❤️❤️) Aidan Turner, Richard Armitage, Robert Pattinson (❤️), Josh Whitehouse, Blake Ritson, Joseph Morgan, Sam Reid, Sam Heughan, Kiowa Gordon, Peter Facinelli, Lee Pace, Joe Anderson, Rami Malek, Alexander Skarsgård, Stephen Moyer, Michael Fassbender, Ben Barnes, Paul Amos, Gregg Sulkin (❤️).

Women : Kristen Stewart (❤️❤️❤️), Riley Keough (❤️❤️❤️), Noémie Merlant/Adele Haenel/Jean Seberg (those three❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️...Too many hearts to fit here), Sarah Michelle Gellar, Eva Green, Jena Malone, Jennifer Lawrence, Lorenza Izzo, Suki Waterhouse (❤️❤️), Camila Morrone (❤️❤️), Gemma Arterton (❤️) Vanessa Kirby, Katherine Waterstone, Amanda Seyfried, Zoe Kravitz, Jessica Parker Kennedy, Phoebe Tonkin, Lupita Nyong'o, Krysta Rodríguez, Lily Donoghue.

Also American Horror Story cast. And Les revenants cast ...and most of the french and francophone actors and actresses too.

And theres much more, but i think this is enough.

Welcome to my blog! Bienvenus! ¡Bienvenidos!

Feel free to ask me things, i like to make theories and metas too.

Also feel free to ask in spanish and french!!! (trolling and hate wont be answered, obviously)

Ciao!

[forgot-everything]

it is 1:34am >_<

so, i found a weird character i doodled in this sketchbook a while ago, so i redrew him into a new oc and im yet to name him

also, have you ever heard of a book series called the demonata by darren shan? because it is absolutely amazing so far and i highly recommend it if youre into graphic writing ^_^ featuring punk dervish and good old sharky :3

[hiimgin]

Real and weird stories:

When I was about 14 years old, I picked up The Saga of Darren Shan from my older brother. I was really into the book at first....

On that unfortunate day when I picked it up, I was sent to my paternal grandmother for a couple of days, as usual (I don't communicate with my father, but I keep in touch with his family. Relatives, after all). And so the night came.

I, without thinking about anything, put the book on the table, as I usually do, to return to reading in the morning.

Morning comes. I get up and don't find the book on the table. I go to ask my grandmother, she only divorces her hands, saying that she has not seen my book.

In sad feelings I wrote to my brother about its disappearance, luckily he was not angry with me at that moment.

And now the denouement. I found out years later that my grandmother burned the book at night because the first scene in it is literally a bathroom scene.

Just imagine my face at that moment

[realjoehours]

★ get to know me! ★

hi i’m joe/soupy and i use they/them pronouns!

aroace nonbinary lesbian

you can use nicknames with me go wild i think it’s funny

i’m a minor so no weird stuff

scottish?!?!

feeling joe-tastic

your typical gay flute player and band kid

i love my girlfriend she’s the absolute best!!

filled with the power of autism

visual snow haver

weirdgirl central

world’s worst overwatch 2 player

poopa stinka

cramming new stuff into my blog description until the day i die!

★ i have quite the plethora of interests that you’ll see on this blog lol (in no particular order)★

Sonic The Hedgehog

Undertale

Deltarune

Pokemon (especially Alola, Paldea and when it comes to Lillie, Nemona or Rika)

Pokemon Horizons

Ace Attorney (i <3 weirdgirls)

Warrior Cats

The Saga of Darren Shan

The Saga of Larten Crepsley

The Demonata

Voltron: The Legendary Defender

Cats (the musical and the animal)

Sing and Sing 2

Ghost Trick (especially surrounding Lynne)

Saltydkdan’s Pokemon Friendlocke

Saltydkdan (just in general)

Scott the Woz

Doctor Who (Bill Potts, River Song, Kate Stewart and Ruby Sunday are super cool)

Doki Doki Literature Club

Scott Pilgrim

Centaurworld

Garfield

Hatsune Miku (just getting into her music! feel free to send song suggestions!!)

Overwatch (i'm the worst ever. i like playing lucio, juno, kiriko, moira and illari :))

Dungeon Meshi (i'm a big Marcille fan!)

TY Toys!! (especially the kitties :DD)

Littlest Pet Shops

Sylvanian Families (especially the cat families!!)

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (especially anything Trixie related)(currently watching the show with my girlfriend and i’m very early on so no spoilers pretty please)

Kimya Dawson (she’s super duper awesome give her music a listen if you ever get the time)

and also my girlfriend she’s actually the best ever!! (@thequipsterever go check her out she’s amazing!! (and you do see her on the blog because i annoy her on here often lol))

★ time to talk about my side blogs! ★

@tanglesoup - my sonic side blog named after the best character in the franchise, tangle the lemur

@thealphysblogever - my undertale and deltarune side blog (also named after the best character)

@joeeatsdvds - my side blog where i talk about dvds and shows that i watch and also where i talk about my yummy dvd collection!

@realjoearts - my art and writing archive blog full of lots of art and project from both past and present!

@theepicallycooltriplemblog - a side blog i run with my girlfriend all about our silly group of beanie belly kitties

@thequicksilvermagician - my darren shan side blog dedicated to posting about the demonata, the saga of darren shan and the saga of larten crepsley (and also to posting about the best character Kirilli Kovacs)

@thecheesemisterofalola - my pokemon irl roleplay blog about my trainer oc named Cheesy! (cw for unreality if you do check it out)

@ikilledmisssunday - me and my girlfriend’s fan blog dedicated to the fifteenth doctor’s companion ruby sunday!

@whokilledbelinda - me and my girlfriend’s new fan blog dedicated to the fifteenth doctor’s future companion belinda chandra!

@wacastarofthenight - my warrior cats au side blog dedicated to my star of the night au!!

★ tags to know! ★

#joe soup speaks - a tag for my incredibly high quality ramblings

#joe’s doodles - a tag for my doodle posts

#joe soup responds to asks - a tag for replying to asks!

#joe soup plays catz - a tag for when i visit my son gamer when i play catz

#oh hey that’s my ask being answered! - a tag for my asks when they get answered

#funny posts i like - a tag for posts i think are funny which i reblog

#art i like - a tag for fanart i like

#kitty cat tag - a tag for kitties!

#certified good post :) - a tag for wholesome posts i reblog

[the-wolfbats]

Thoughts on Mattimeo, Mariel of Redwall, and Triss

Phew only like 4 5 books left until I'm done! (once again I forgot Rakkety Tam) One of those books is Doomwyte and I already know one note, so I'll say it here - I think that's the only time we see a ruler of Redwall with a child.

Also ... out of all the main female characters, Mariel, Tiria, and Triss are just boring. They're no Dottie or Maudie, or Song and Rose.

Mattimeo 

Legit skipped the Redwall bits after the main group left. 

It's interesting to revisit the ruins of Loamhedge but literal centuries (probably) before the titularl book 

Mariel of Redwall 

I feel like this is the last story that had Martin like...this much of a Jesus entity. He's extremely involved in this novel, talking to like 5 characters, possession Saxtus to put the sword by Dandin

Speaking of which, Dandin openly kills a sea vermin(“I didn't come here to take you alive!”) meanwhile, Triss is cheated out of her vengeance on Kurda, a trend that would continue intermittently (but be subverted in the best of the latter books, Eulalia!)

It's not a huge loss to not have these things, but I do wish we saw a few more stories that took place in the South Islands. They're not written the best but with practice, they would have been great.

Triss

If I had a nickel for every time that a pale character in a fantasy series was called Kurda and was killed by falling on something pointy, I have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it's happened twice 

I bet the audiobook has the most stereotypical German accents for the Pure Ferrets. 

I said in the Loamhedge recap that Martha and Horty were the first hares to just exist at the Abbey separately from Salamandastron and had never gone but nope here's Memm Flackery. 

Turfee the mousebabe scowled darkly. “They scrubs likkle ones t’death in this h’Abbey.” this fellow has had enough 😭

She said you were supposed to be like that old Badger Lord she’d read of, Russano the Wise, her fifth great-grandsire. So she called. So why doesn't Lady Merola rule? The title Ruler of Salamandastron is a little too arbitrary bc it can be decided through prophecy and dreams as well as lineage, but there is canonically one female Badger Lord in Spearlady Gorse. Would have been nice to have another, even as a minor character.  

“It’s called bamboo. My father has a piece of it in his collection of searat stuff. He said it comes from the hot lands beyond the ocean.” How many people reading this did not know the bamboo was a real thing? I mean I knew but imagine being like 10 living in Wales reading this. There's things I've read or seen that I didn't know were real until later. Like the song Hanging on the Telephone.

Ok this is the second time where a name is either similar (Grubbage\ Grubitsch) or spelled exactly like one in a Darren Shan series. 

I wonder if Peace Island is the same mountain as Holt Rudderwake. 

A thing I enjoy is how some of the chapter art looks. 25 in particular is a great use of the fact that the print is limited to black and white. 

Why didn't the adder trio eat the body of the king? How did it not decompose over years? Because it was sheltered in Brockhall? What about - it's a children's book I should relax. 

It's endearing how they call her Trissy. 

They mention Grubbage was considered a captive at the Abbey but the recorder liked him well enough, calls him jolly. So that's the (2nd? 3rd?) “good” rat in the series to temporarily stay at the Abbey. No one mentions it bc it's two lines and no one rereads this book. 

Overall Triss was one of those I barely remember and remember as being what people think of when they think of formulaic Redwall. It manages to rise above it a little - Crikulus and Melbun behaving foolishly is interesting - but nothing else really is

[maskedemerald]

Hello! Prospective new mutual. Found your post and was intrigued by the idea of "potentially weird writing experiments."

Care to share a little more on what you mean? :eyesemoji: One of the things I've been experimenting with is the strengths of prose/writing specifically as a medium -- what it can do well, how to play with the form.

(I'll also try to toss an ask or two your way for WorldBuilding Wednesday, I saw you mention interest--)

Hi!

While I've not shared any yet (been a bit focused on my editing deadline right now) I really want to share some of the writing experiments I've been doing. Sometimes they are not that weird with me just playing with different genres to my comfort zone or playing with a different perspectives (I was once taught in school that stories should never be in first person because that's boring... boy were they wrong. Read Darren Shan and now I use first person a lot.) really want to mess around with some 2nd person just to see what kind of thing I can create with it.

However when they do fall into the more weird category its things like playing with the formatting to tell the story from 4 perspectives at once (like on the same page and not switching between chapters) or mixing genres and tropes that are not normally paired. Or writing from a POV of a character with limited agency to act in scenes because of secrets or limitations. There are other ones if I were to delve through my WIPs. Some of these I did a while ago and am curious to go back to them and share bits. Maybe some new things too because my brain is always going "what if I do it this way?" about things (I really want to play with a time travel idea with different time lines over laying each other in the narrative.) I'll probably start sharing things like this in October or if things go well next week once the editing is done!

I subscribe very much to the idea of learning the rules of writing and then seeing where I can break or bend them to make something interesting.

[whumpfish]

I tell you what, it may surprise some of y'all to hear, but I grew up away from horror content. I had a vivid, visual imagination as a kid. I was at a sleepover when I was like 8 or some shit in the 90s and their mom had decided that Look Who's Talking was a great sleepover movie, and I had nightmares about childbirth for a week. At that point my mom decided no actually scary things for me. And one look at the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark illustrations told me she was probably right.

And boy did I miss out on a lot. All the classics of the 80s and 90s, Goosebumps, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Darren Shan's Demonata, Wes Craven's entire career... but I wasn't ready. So I stayed out of that space.

So I grew up a bit, and got really into Hitchcock - Strangers On A Train, North By Northwest - and having a feel for what I could handle at that point, kept going. We saved Psycho and The Birds for last. Again, good insight on my mom's part, I was not ready for those at the North By Northwest phase. Around this time, I'm also getting into The X-Files, which is kind of a baby's first horror thing. The episode Stephen King guest wrote still fucked me up the first time, though, so I hung back from what I judged to be the hard stuff at that point. I wasn't ready yet. So I stayed out of that space.

I suffered a minor setback when I had the bright idea to watch the network remake of The Shining with a fever of 105. I have never sleepwalked before or since, but I legit got up mid nightmare, still fully asleep, and ran away from the bathtub zombie (hilariously where I hid in my sleepwalking genius was... my bathroom). But by and by, I recovered from Bathtub Zombie Delirium, and started getting into more serious thrillers. And then I steeled myself and watched Se7en, and a new era began. I finally had confidence in my capacity to handle horror. I finally had an appetite for it.

I'm in college at this point, streaming is in its infancy, and FearNet is still a thing. I make a point to go through their whole monthly selection just to see if I can. I'm introduced to Dario Argento and fall in love, suffer through a minor Fulci and learn my lesson, discover indie works of genius like Hard Candy, hear soprano Sarah Brightman as never before in Repo!: The Genetic Opera, finally see Saw. And I say to myself, you know what, I love this shit, I want to keep going. I think I'm ready.

I go international. Junji Ito enters my life and my heart. I watch Ju-On and realize that weird clicky noise I would make when I was a kid just for the hell of it if I was alone and bored is actually kind of terrifying under the right circumstances. I see Eyes Without A Face. I dive into the world of giallo and B-grade Italian horror. Force myself to watch The Beyond and am the donest of dones with Lucio Fulci--then watch Don't Torture A Duckling and spend the rest of the week mad because it's so good and he just. Idk forgot how to movie when he started doing horror?

Giallo leads me down a rabbit hole to extreme cinema, of which I am now an avid devotee. Martyrs was a fucking religious experience. I still marvel at how Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion managed to package most of The Handmaid's Tale as a quartet of exploitation movies, and do a better and more visceral job (imho) than the latter. I could write essays on how Matsushiro transcends the woman's revenge trope. I could write a fucking thesis. Pieces of Found are still seared into my brain in a traumatic way--and pieces of Found are seared into my brain in a positive, visual and conceptual way. I'm still not entirely sure I was ready for Found, but I done did it anyway, and I think I'm the better for it. But had I discovered I wasn't ready, I would not have made it anybody else's problem.

There are things I know I'll never be ready for, like Men Behind the Sun. I couldn't take Schindler's List; no thank you, Unit 731. There are things I could probably take but have no interest in, Joe D'Amato on the lame end and Ruggero Deodato on the competent but way too questionable end. And you know what? I do and will continue to stay out of those spaces.

Everyone moves at their own pace, and that's fine. That's what makes us unique individuals. I was part of the R.L. Stine generation. Our parents were professional pearl-clutchers, from scary books and movies to the *gasp* violence of Mortal Kombat. I was the one kid who wasn't out there trying to see what my gross-out threshold was and then yeet myself over that line. And that's okay.

It was still there when I caught up. Even if I only decided today that I was ready, it would be there just as it was the day it entered the world.

If you’re not ready for something, that's fine. It's fine if you come to it late, or never get there at all... as long as you stay out of those spaces until you are ready, and quietly turn around if you make a miscalculation and see something you're not actually prepared for. You have to take responsibility for your own content consumption. People come together to share something they like because it touches a piece of them, because they find understanding in it just the way it is. It's not right or fair to bulldoze other people's spaces in the name of expanding your own.

It may sound harsh, but it's a fact. If you're out here writing a ton of aftermath sadporn but you can't write the Before half and need basic elements of what is supposed to have caused your perpetually pathetic "whumpee" to become a sad pile of jello tw tagged, especially something as foundational as #blood, you're not ready for whump. Stay in angst spaces a little longer. It's not a race. It's not a competition. And you're not actually entitled to every space in the known universe.

[nonilogical]

Imma start a list of story ideas that can be taken, your welcome. Alot are taken from elsewhere but I wanna see it in stories with different fandoms but I don't and I'm mad about it. Also will do a list of fandoms so people don't forget. Will update when my brain blinks.

Ideas

1. War of the Worlds (someone is making a game that will be open world survival and its looking banging so far)

2. Just survival shit, zombie apocalypse, normal apocalypse, natural disasters just love them idk why.

Fandoms

Gaming

1. Skyrim

2. Mass Effect

3. COD

4. Assassins Creed (any I'd assume idk couldn't pass the tutorial)

Movies

1. Lost Boys

2. LOTR/The Hobbit

3. Pacific Rim

4. Across the spider verse (not miles, boys 15 it's weird)

Shows/Series

1. Vikings

2. 100

3. Walking Dead

4. Peaky Blinders

Anime

1. AOT (Attack on Titan)

2. Wolf's Rain

3. Princess Mononoke

Books

1. Demonata Series (Darren Shan)

2. Chronicles of Acient Darkness

[ghost-proofbaby]

Hi! I hope your day's going well :) If it's not too weird to ask, I've seriously always wondered, how long have you been writing for? What made you fall in love with it? And what were your biggest inspirations?

It's legit been on my mind since TSIB when I noticed immediately that your writing carried a lot of love inside of it! It's had me curious ever since.

hello!! i’ve just woken up, and so far so good haha <3 i hope your day is also wonderful!!

this definitely isn’t too weird to ask!!! this feels like a slightly cop out answer, but i’ve been writing for nearly as long as i can remember. i was always just writing really silly things, stories between me and my friends and such. i think the first solid memory i have of anyone ever saying “hey, you have some real talent here” was in 6th grade honestly. it was a silly story for school where we were writing about candy bars of all things, and my teacher took me aside to talk to me about it, and i fully thought i was getting in trouble. i wrote my first fully finished story at 11/12, though, so i guess if i had to put a number on it all.... like 12-13 years? oof. god, that's a long time.

as for what made me fall in love with it - i was always a reader first and foremost. it was a really natural transition for me. in the 5th grade, i remember reading the series "Cirque Du Freak: The Saga of Darren Shan" (which 10/10 recommends for older kids. clearly, the vampire obsession started young.) and just thinking "hey, i wanna write stuff like this!" and so i just... did. and i loved it. i loved creating characters and making my own worlds, getting just as lost in the writing as i could in books. and my writing was bad, make no mistake, but it was mine. i think i always sort of knew i wasn't going to be a rocket science, or a math genius, or a nobel prize winner, but suddenly i had found something that just sort of clicked for me. i was creating. regardless if it was good and regardless if other people were reading/enjoying, i was creating. and that just felt right. it still feels right. since i started writing at 11, i don't think there's been a time in my life where i haven't been consistently writing something. there's been lapses where i stopped sharing, or felt utterly defeated, or just felt stuck in my skill set, but i never really stopped. stories, poetry, songs - i'm just always writing as an escape. i've also had a discussion with a therapist regarding how i feel like my writing is all i have to offer. for the life of me, i can't remember the author/origin of the quote (nor the quote exactly), but there's this poetic bit where a woman is actually speaking to her therapist, and she says something along the lines of "it has to be good. because it is a part of me." essentially, she was saying she finds herself to be nothing good, something rotten, and so she needs her writing to be worth it because it's inherently a part of her. as though her writing is an apology for all that she is. and i guess i love writing because it gives me that chance to apologize - a chance to say "sorry i'm not always worth it, but here's something to make up for it. here's the one thing i can give to you."

my biggest inspirations to this day still remain other writers/creative individuals! i think it's hard as a writer to not be a reader, y'know? i tend to apply the whole "never be satisfied, never just settle" tactic to a lot of my life - always strive to be kinder, always strive to improve my writing, etc. i find a lot of inspiration in music since that's a huge part of my life along with all the writing/reading, and i also find a lot of inspiration in my own life experiences. usually the more unpleasant ones. (oh, how gross, i fall into the tortured artist stereotype. wah.) i think that's why i enjoy fandom so much, though! i'm surrounded by all these talented individuals who constantly take my breath away with their talent, with their big beautiful brains, and it encourages me to want to be better. to be able to offer something just as beautiful and stunning as they do.

also, complete transparency? the community i've managed to build. you guys. those of you who have taken a chance on me and my words, and enjoyed them. the people who get excited for the next updates on my stories and the people who will squeal back and forth (whether in real life or in person) about these characters, these worlds, with me. it's not so much the 'fame', because it feels wonderful regardless of if it's thousands of people or only 2 people, but just... that connection, y'know? it feels like tangible proof to say "hey, my words are worth something. i could be remembered." does that sound narcissistic? god, i truly hope that doesn't sound narcissistic.

anyways, sorry, this is a terribly long word vomit haha. probably not what you signed up for at all when you sent the ask, nonnie. my apologies! i just really, really love writing/reading. and i can't explain how happy it makes me that that translate into my works. thank you - for reading my words, for caring, and for sharing that joy with me <3

[meghawhopp]

15, 25, and 30 for the asks, my dear friend!

Aw, thank you, Z!! 💜

15. Five most influential books over your lifetime.

In no particular order:

Dracula by Bram Stoker

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (honestly that whole series shaped me)

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

The Demonata series by Darren Shan (sorry, another series)

25. Could you live as a hermit?

Oh probably, at least for a while. It would give me time to finally get caught up on my hobbies and reading!

30. Pick one of your favorite quotes.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

I was particularly proud of my "weird kid" status growing up, heh.

[wahbegan]

Five children's stories or animated shows that if adapted to live action with a more adult theme would make the best horror movies?

Well, unfortunately for you lovers of bimbo listification this is gonna be more of an essay than a cohesive list because fuck you i do what i want

Children's stories is pretty vague, i mean we all know and have seen horror adaptations of some of that shit. Hansel and Gretel comes to mind, Little Red Riding Hood if you took it a similar arthouse A24 direction, there's The Three Billy Goats Gruff, which inspired both Stephen King's It and Mike Flanagan's first film, Absentia. Then there's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which definitely CAN be made very dark and surreal horror, but it still comes across as incredibly Edgy as American McGee discovered to his edgelord cost

If you're talking about like kids' books, i'm not super familiar, i mean obviously there's a ton of young adult books with horrifying shit in them a la The Keys to the Kingdom. Oh, Darren Shan's Demonata, which just were straight-up horror i haven't the faintest idea why they thought that shit was okay to market to kids.

The thing is, i'm generally pretty against the grimdarkification of children's media, particularly animation. It tends to be boring and it carries this unnecessary baggage of having been children's media first so any attempt to make it adult is already a fool's errand. And i know we all have this weird ingrained idea like live-action movies or shows for adults are the highest form of media, but there's shit that just doesn't work in that medium just like anything else.

That SAAAAID I have a few ideas of things that maybe could have been horror movies instead of kids’ shows aaaaand idk i'll do my best, because i'm a good sport.

I mean, the other problem is that i can remember EPISODES of kids' shows that would make good horror movies. Samurai Jack XXXV: "Jack and the Haunted House" springs to mind since i just watched it. There was also the Teen Titans Episode "Fear Itself," which set itself up basically like a horror movie. But then, of course, we're adapting a show adapting comic books, so we're really adapting comic books, so idk if that even counts

But the point is, neither of those shows have horror or even spookiness as the principal underlying theme.

Shows like that, i can only think of three. Scooby-Doo, hear me through, don't interrupt. It would have to be a horror-comedy, and not an edgy one. Like...Tucker and Dale vs Evil. The shit happening is horrifying, but Tucker and Dale are very wholesome dudes trying their best. That kind of thing. You can't fuck with Mystery Inc.'s characterization but as Zombie Island and that one scene from the live action movie that scared the shit out of me as a kid proved, you CAN make the world they live in scary. Assuming you don't absolutely shit the creature design looking at u Scoby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed

Then there's Martin Mystery, which i remember fondly as having genuinely unsettling monsters of the week that were pretty unique twists on classic fairy tale and mythological monsters but unfortunately, i tried to watch it again recently due to said fond memories and turns out it's a bit crap. BUT y'know the whole Paranormal X-Files theme is as good as any you're gonna get from a kid's show.

And finally, Courage the Cowardly Dog, which you could change VERY little about and have it translate to horror. Hell, if anything, making it live action but just keeping certain characters animated in weird ways would make it more surreal and unnerving. Freaky Fred haunts my nightmares

I hope that was enough half-assed answers to satisfy you, i wasn't keeping count but you did ask me a loaded question and i'm not watchmojo

[adamwatchesmovies]

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (2009)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

2009’s Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant strove to be another Harry Potter before the YA novel thing really became a big Hollywood trend. It’s easy to see why it didn’t become a series. Its baffling choices make this feel like a mish-mash of ideas, most of which go nowhere.

15-year-old Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) and his troublemaker best friend Steve Leonard (Josh Hutcherson, who went on to play Peeta in The Hunger Games series) visit the Cirque du Freak freak show. While Steve is terrified by the vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly), Darren succumbs to his curiosity and steals Crepsley's spider. When the arachnid’s bite mortally wounds Steve, Darren barters his life for a cure. Now, he is Crepsley’s half-vampire assistant and on his way to becoming a member of the Cirque du Freak.

Based on the first three books of Darren Shan’s Vampire Blood series, this film moves very quickly yet somehow feels slow and dull. The first mark against Vampire's Assistant is Chris Massoglia, who has absolutely zero charisma or screen presence. To be fair, the material he’s working with is weak. The character’s fascination with spiders has little bearing on the plot following the theft and he under-reacts to what happens afterward. Not all the blame can be placed on the young performer but he sure doesn’t help. It’s an early sign of director Chris Weitz was having an off-week.

Anyone looking at the film can immediately spot what’s wrong with it. This is a very silly production that has no idea how silly it is. Willem Dafoe has a tiny role as a vampire and his costume/makeup makes him look like an amateur crossdresser. It gets even worse when we're told about the vampire’s secret, decades-old enemies: the Vampaneze. You see, vampires are the good ones. They don’t kill people to drink their blood. The Vampaneze though, they’re the bad ones. "Vampaneze"? You couldn’t dig through the books of mythology to find ANYTHING more intimidating? You already have Michael Servers as this effeminate Uncle Fester-lookalike grinning through the whole film, attempting desperately to seem sinister with his gleeful looks whenever people drop dead. Now we have yet another reason to laugh?

You could throw many more criticisms towards The Vampire's Assistant. I’ll toss just one more before letting you go. Ultimately, this story is about acceptance. The freaks at the circus may look weird but as Darren learns, they're just like everyone else. Unfortunately, a few details make you question this statement. There’s a werewolf in the troupe. They keep him in a cage, he wears no clothes and wallows in his own straw-covered filth. Is he a person or a monster? Nothing about Corma Limbs (Jane Krakowski) should make her an outcast. When she loses a limb, it grows back. Cool. Not so cool is her chopping off her fingers and feeding them to people! Then we have the film’s love interests. Salma Hayek plays a prophetic bearded lady who smooches Crepsley. Conveniently, she can will her beard to grow. Similarly, Darren starts getting sweet towards Rebecca (Jessica Carlson), an attractive teen with a monkey tail… and no other “freaky” characteristics. You can't promote this idea that the inside of what matters most when the male leads fall for conventionally attractive women.

Some of the film’s worst moments, such as the lame climax, the over-the-top characters or the loosely-explained world could be overlooked on their own. Combined, you can’t. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a tonally uneven, poorly written would-be franchise starter with lousy performances made worse by the director's choices. It arrived on the scene already dead and buried. (On DVD, December 28, 2018)