#not a stitchy post

[99problemsbutastitchaintone]

do big adult tasks, buy big adult rewards🥹

[rainofbrasspetal]

I see people on X.com (formally known as Twitter) getting jumped because they say Urusei Yatsura is one of the early harem mangas/anime. This really rubs me the wrong way because it is. I don't know why these UY fans are jumping these people for being right?

What I think happened with this, is the same thing that happened with isekai as a genre. Isekai just means in a different world which can mean like anything. Inuyasha is an isekai, and so is the original Digimon! Then for years, the same bullshit "erm I'm reborn in a video game?!?" just churned out of the machine and poisoned the word.

Harem anime at its core is a main character with a pool of women that consists of POSSIBLE romantic interests. Yes. Lum is the only one that loves Ataru legitimately but Ataru as a character is defined by his wandering eye and his desire to be with as many women as possible. Let's not forget that he dreams of having a harem that includes every single female character in the manga. He says this multiple times. When we are first introduced to Kurama, she tries to steal him away from Lum until she realizes he sucks and hates him and that her people's traditions were dumb and arbitrary. Ran tried to seduce Ataru away from Lum as a revenge ploy until she also realized that Ataru does, indeed, suck. In the third movie, Ataru gets sad because hitting on women isn't as fun when his wife isn't around to catch him. When we are first introduced to Oyuki, she is actively willing to have sex with him until they are interrupted. Shinobu is DATING him at the beginning of the manga and the initial conflict is trying to get rid of Lum so he can get Shinobu back. Then she also realizes he sucks and moves on! That's the whole point of the story. A jealous woman who is possessive is matched with a man that tries to hit on anything in a skirt. Whacky antics ensue.

Even though the well of harem was poisoned with shlock as time went on, it's so hard to deny that UY is a blueprint for a lot of harem stories. I think people just think harem is a dirty word and they don't want something they think is actually good to be associated.

[thestitchywitchy]

Hey! I hope you’re doing well..

I have this frustration that my career won’t get any better & I have this Saturn in 10th but in another web I checked said it’s in my 11th 🤦🏼‍♀️

I tried many times in different workplace, with my kind heart & pure intention but all I got was people bad mouthing about me, sabotaging my work, and treated me like garbage. I just want to have a stable career since I have to help my parents with their debt but I feel like this gonna take forever and I kind of hopeless towards my career 😔

Please encourage me & convince me that I will be okay 😞

Oh sweetheart, I feel it! I have Saturn in 11th as well. 10th in sidereal. It conjuncts my NN, Uranus, and Lilith so I know this feeling all too well.

But you know what? You ARE going to be ok. You just need to reframe your mindset a little. I may be tooting my horn here a bit, but I hope this inspires and encourages you to toot your horn loud and proud too.... This is going to be long post, but I don't care. I feel that you need to hear this, babes!

I learned real quick that, in a working environment, I was a good resource to have. Even in my first retail job, they wanted to give me my own store to manage after being there for a year and I was only 19 at the time. I passed because I ended getting an agent in SF. Any type of job I had, no matter how lucrative, I still attracted haters (I think that's bc of my Lilith though, not saturn😅)

I was kind hearted and pure intentioned as well. No one cared that I knew how to be successful in the work force because I've been hustling since I was a kid. I've been grinding since I was 12 because, a lot like you, I had to support my family. My peers didn't see that though. Not that I shared anyways lol. So even though I knew how to attract my own version of success, you know what else that attracts? Jealousy. Jealous, hating ass people who didn't have the same drive or work ethic lol

No matter how kind or pure your intentions may be, there will always be haters in your midst. A cruel reality of the society that we live in is that there are going to be people who wish you the best...just as long as you're not doing better than them. If you do, they just lose their shit and resort to weird antics to get to the metaphorical "top" that doesn't fcking exist btw

People saw me as competition. Not their peer. And I'm afraid the same is happening to you. So now it's time for you to own your power. Now that doesn't mean to stop being kind or good intentioned, that is actually a strength you have. Beautiful one at that. Don't ever stop being that. But you also have to be a little savage too. If someone is bad mouthing about you or sabotaging your work, stand up for yourself and put them in their place. Own. Your. Power. They act like that because they see the power and skill in you that you do not and they will try to tear you down because of it. Don't let them get the best of you. You're an adult, don't let people resort to elementary school antics to wig you out. Kindness doesn't mean weakness, so let out that fire when you need to. You're not a victim. You're a savage. Act like one 😌💪

It wasn't until l was 28 that I realized working with and for other people wasn't my jam lol so I went back to my 12 year old hustling ways and now I'm earning money by doing things I'm passionate about and, most importantly, for myself my kid too but that's not the point of this post lmao

Who knows, maybe it's not your jam either? 😉

I hope this encouraged you a bit!! 💜🫶

[cutestkilla]

Good morning and thanks for the tag @thewholelemon, I'm living for your quippy V!Baz narration. Since I was already here procrastinating the procrastination ask post, I figured I might as well not procrastinate this post. So, some more from the upcoming Ch 5 of Hiding Out in the Open, for which I have my full POV-by-POV zero draft of done (P.S. thanks for that term @valeffelees it perfectly encompasses my process).

The question hangs in the air, and I wonder if I’ve got it wrong. If I were the old me, I’d just take the plunge. Take what I want. Steal the kiss. But I’m not, and the me I am now is terrified. Not because I might be gay. (Or whatever this would mean I am.) Not of kissing a boy. Of kissing Baz. And fucking this all up, this thing between us. The part of it that’s working.  The part of it that feels like the only thing keeping me alive.

^^SUBJECT TO CHANGE because I just took my dirty zero draft and wrote that chunk properly 3 minutes ago.

Anyway, some tags for my lovelies under the cut!

@artsyunderstudy @shrekgogurt @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @creepyspice @bookish-bogwitch @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @emeryhall @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @moodandmist @forabeatofadrum @mooncello @monbons @angelsfalling16 @best--dress @blackberrysummerblog @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-aralias @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @confused-bi-queer @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @j-nipper-95 @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @messofthejess @nightimedreamersworld @onepintobean @orange-peony @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles @stitchy-queerista @technetiumai @that-disabled-princess @theearlgreymage @urban-sith @whogaveyoupermission @youarenevertooold

[blackberrysummerblog]

Happy Sunday! I hope everyone had a good week and is enjoying the weekend—I’m at work, myself, alas. But it’s been a pretty good few days!

So, I have a good deal more than six sentences to share because I decided to split my WIP field trip into two chapters. It was getting a bit long and I’ve been making steady progress with it, so I found a breaking point and have posted the first chapter! As usual, my title and tagging skills leave much to be desired, but hopefully the fic itself is fun. The second half shouldn’t take me too long to finish now as it’s mostly written.

No pressure tags: @palimpsessed @rimeswithpurple @drowninginships @bookish-bogwitch @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-emrys @beastmonstertitan @c0nsumemy5oul @cutestkilla @forabeatofadrum @orange-peony @raenestee @larkral @letraspal @artsyunderstudy @aristocratic-otter @prettygoododds @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @thewholelemon @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists @wellbelesbian @iamamythologicalcreature @valeffelees @ionlydrinkhotwater @aceumbrellaheroes @asocialpessimist @ic3-que3n @j-nipper-95 @ileadacharmedlife @hushed-chorus @imagineacoolusername @stardustasincocaine @facewithoutheart @arthurkko @mooncello @papierhaikuphoto @stitchy-queerista @shrekgogurt @ivelovedhimthroughworse @cows4247

[stitched-up-tennis-ball]

My tumblr hates me, new parent post everyone!!! @the-studyman @i-hate-tennis-ball

Oh! We have a first aid kit...

[They rummage around in a small hole in the wall, clearly used as a cabinet and pull out the kit]

This should have some gauze in it for you

{It is strange how much fisheye is talking, even more so how little stitchie is...}

[noblecorgi]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Posted, as is tradition, on Thursday in Australia.

The below excerpt is from Chapter 13 of On The Rocks, lovingly nicknamed Fashion Baz and Disaster Simon.

It is from Simon’s POV.

I pick up my phone, where Baz is tutting impatiently. “Finished cursing my bloodline or some shit? I’m on my way to Gran’s room. Tell me what I have to find.”

“I did, you dolt! The Mary Katrantzou Willow Crystal Flora Midnight dress!!”

“Hey, be nice, I’m saving you from the streets here. Also that means absolutely nothing.” I tell him as I press the card to Gran’s door, shoving it open.

“A draped midi length blue crepe dress with bell sleeves and a crystal encrusted bodice.”

“Still not hearing an actual description. Where am I looking?”

“Crowley you’re an uncultured swine. A blue dress covered in sparklies!”

“There you go! You did it! You spoke normally! Where would it be in her room?”

Thanks to @thewholelemon and @monbons for the tags!

Also thank you to @rimeswithpurple who was my fashion advisor waaaaaaaay back when I started writing this.

This is the dress they are talking about:

@wellbelesbian @whatevertheweather @emjaydellyone @erzbethluna @emeryhall @ebbpettier @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @raenestee @thehoneyedhufflepuff @theearlgreymage @that-disabled-princess @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @ichooseyousnowbaz @ic3-que3n @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @artsyunderstudy @angelsfalling16 @asocialpessimist @ahbutwhatisaheavenfor @stitchy-queerista @skee3000 @stardustasincocaine @delilahs-artz @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @letraspal @captain-aralias @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @brilla-brilla-estrellita @biellepics @bazisplottingsomething @beastmonstertitan @basiltonbutliketheherb @ninemagicks @nausikaaa @nightimedreamersworld @namistrella @messofthejess @martsonmars

[loosethreadstitchery]

You have so many posts I couldnt hope to comment on them all, but your work is a-maz-ing. Words cannot express how much I adore your art, shown through your magnificent colors and skill <3

Do you have any tips for those starting this kind of stitchwork? I imagine the backs get quite messy XD

First, thank you so much - that's super kind of you!

I don't know how much stitching you've done before now, but the very basics of cross stitch and blackwork are here and here. If you already know the basics,

For the kind of blackwork I do most, using repeating motifs to fill in sections of a larger image, I find that the biggest problem is getting lost in the chart and forgetting which repetition of the fill motif I'm on. This is especially tricky when there are slight variations in the motif, as happens when I'm shading or making a colour gradient. Have some way to mark off each repetition of the motif as you complete it. I do this by annotating in my laptop's .pdf reader; some people print out the pattern and just use a highlighter. There is some software like Pattern Keeper or Cross Stitch Saga that some stitchers like, but the file formats they use aren't always available (I've also been told that Pattern Keeper isn't great with backstitch, which would make it kind of useless for blackwork, but I've never used either program, so someone else can weigh in there).

I work on black Aida a lot - some people hate working on black because it's harder to see the holes in the cloth, but I love the way it makes coloured blackwork pop. Your best friend here is lighting - good light on your work, and also a bit of backlighting. You don't want the backlight to be so strong that the holes turn into blinding little pinpricks, but you want to be able to see the light through them. Some people will put a phone or tablet behind their work with the screen on low; I find that having something white behind it is enough - a white pillow on my lap, or the white walls of my apartment.

My backs are a mess, yeah. For most of my patterns, it's geometrically impossible to do the reversible blackwork thing, and most of the time I'm making something whose back won't be visible, so it's a place to hide my stitchy sins. Gradients in particular have areas where stitches of one colour are relatively far apart, so there are big jumps on the back.

Samplers made up of small motifs in separate squares are a good way to get used to following blackwork charts without getting tangled up in repeating fill patterns.

If you're looking for a small project to give blackwork a try, I've got a couple of little free patterns here and here that are on the simpler side, and one here that's a good way to try a gradient.

[shrekgogurt]

I’m zooming through writing Ch. 8 of IKABIKAM! This chapter’s song title you ask? Uh, yeah. It’s why I’m giddy about this one:

Simon POV, present day:

I wipe my palms on my trousers. Suddenly, lightning zig zags through the sky, illuminating clouds I could’ve sworn weren’t there before.

Holy shit.

The corner of my mouth rises, exposing my upper teeth slowly from left to right. It’s the cheekiest fucking grin of my life.

Low thunder rumbles.

“Tell me.”

Baz groans, “Are you really going to annoy a confession out of me two weeks in a row?”

tags + surprise under the cut

Teehee! I’m posting right at midnight. @artsyunderstudy @bazzybelle @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-aralias @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla @ebbpettier @excalisbury @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @forabeatofadrum @gekkoinapeartree @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists @jbrrring @j-nipper-95 @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @messofthejess @ninemagicks @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @stitchy-queerista @theearlgreymage @theimpossibledemon @thewholelemon @upuntil6am @valeffelees @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @yellobb @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

if you’ve gotten this far I have some bonus content! a little while back I posted about how uhhhh Labyrinth by Taylor Swift is my guiding song for Baz’s overall romantic arc in IKABIKAM well uhhhh it’s also like the only TS that sits well in my voice so I’m learning it on piano

when I’ve made progress I’ll sauce little demos at the end of my wipsdays enjoy very faintly hearing the pushback from the keys in this one okay smooches!!!

[stitchyblogs]

Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?

Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader... it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton’s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.

I’m imagining you, dear reader. Not in a weird way or anything... I’m just being transparent about who I intend my audience to be, because I have Twitter poisoning. You know how it is, you rascal, you. I know, because I’m imagining you into existence! Let’s just go with it! Yeah, so- I bet you’re thirty something, low forties. You say ‘No worries!’ a lot, but you sure do have worries. How can you not? You’re way too online, but you hope to the Great Gazoo you’re pulling it off, looking merely casually plugged in, in public. You maybe don’t have kids, who've forced you to plumb the depths of Disney +, but you do have it, because you’re not immune to Baby Yoda and the bionic biceps of a one Bucky Barnes. Aside from that fatuous affair, you’re also in a ever evolving polycule with at least three streaming services, but they still aren’t *quite* delivering what you need from the relationship. You kind of miss being restricted to whatever 6 VHS tapes were in the TV hutch of your childhood home. If you’re too young for VHS, you at least remember having to mail actual disks back and forth with Netflix. You remember that once, practical effects were the only effects. You have taste! And curiosity! And heart! You tear up when you think about Mr. Rogers for too long, which is very sexy of you. Most importantly, dear reader, you appreciate a bit of cornball. You like a lil goof. A cheeky lil pun. A gag so cheap, the shopkeeper is looking the other way as you pocket it, secretly stoked to get it off the damn shelf already... Nobody’s looking, ya know. It’s okay to admit it! You like hokey jokes. In fact, you're spiritually wearing boxers with hearts on them right now, just in case. Not that I’m imagining you in your spiritual underwear.

Did I make it weird?

Shh, shh, it’s fine. I’m Stitchy, by the way! I am alllllll of these things too- it’s fine! Well, I’m not super into Bucky, if we’re being honest- which we are! Because we’re friends now! And you know, friends can ask each other embarrassing questions. Your question is the headline of this, so I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m gonna do you a solid. I’m gonna tell you.... How to get back into the Muppets.

Hey, wait! You sneak! You! That guy peeking over the shoulder of the reader I was just talking to. You’ve never seen any Muppets on purpose at all, and you’re hoping I can set you up, too? Ha! I knew it… Yeah, that’s okay. You can follow this list. I won’t rat you out, as long as you don’t tell Rizzo I said ‘rat’ in that context.

Muppet Immersion PART 1:  The New Shit.

You’ve already seen the stuff that came down the pipeline in the 90’s. You Mnah Mnah’ed your butt off in your tender youth, and nowadays you still get a little confused when there’s only one Marley in non-Muppet Christmas Carols. You vaguely know that the good people at Henson Co. made post-Y2K projects, but you haven’t checked them out, because you had important, more grown up things to worry about, like curating your MySpace top eight. Then time got away from you. That’s okay, bud- because I’ve been on my muppetfrickin’ grind.

(One note: not all Muppet Materials are made with our age group in mind, and that’s okay! I’m sure Muppet Babies 2.0 has its moments, but we’re only looking at the slightly more mature pieces.)

1. The Muppets, 2011 (watch on Disney +)

They struck gold when tapping lifelong muppet freak Jason Segel to write and star in the Muppet’s comeback to the silver screen. With the expert musical-comedy midwifery of Flight of the Conchord’s James Bobin (director), and Bret McKenzie (music), a beautiful baby Muppet was born! It’s a classic tale of “We’ve gotta get the band back together and put on the best show this town has ever seen Or Else!”. The Or Else, if you’re wondering, is oil tycoon Chris Cooper’s plan to obliterate the Muppet Theater. Best work he’s ever done, I tell ya. Same goes for Amy Adams, who absolutely nails her role as the doting but levelheaded Mary, who’s fiancé is troublingly codependent with his Muppet brother, Walter. Oh, Walter. A wide eyed, whistling optimist, who deserves love and puppies and the whole entire world. In the words of Phil Spector (Yikes) to know know know him is to love love love him. A great entry point for returning, or newly budding Muppet enthusiasts. Highlights include the knock off ‘Moopets’, hostage Jack Black, and Muppet turned man Jim Parsons.

1.5 The sequel, Muppets Most Wanted, 2014 (also available on Disney +) doesn’t work for me. Seeing as it’s my guide to Muppet Immersion, I say you can skip it if you’re not feeling like another feature film, just now! My beef may not be your beef, though. (Too much Ricky Gervais, too much faux-Kermit, and not enough Walter... ((My soul will never be at rest until I understand why TPTB lost faith in Walter as the new audience surrogate. I can only hope Serial has plans to investigate.))) Maybe Muppets Most Wanted will work for you! Definitely DO NOT MISS the absolute feast of bops, again penned by Bret McKenzie:

1.5 a. “I’ll Give it To You” 

1.5 b. The Interrogation Song, a thrilling double act by Ty Burrell and Sam the Eagle 

1.5 c. We’re Doing a Sequel!  

1.5 d. Something So Right featuring none other than powerhouse Celine Dion

1.5 e. Something So Right Demo Reel, because you need to have Bret’s Miss Piggy in your ears, too. 

Whenever Piggy wears a hat with one lil’ ear out!? That’s the good stuff.

2. It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to fire up the Baby Yoda machine to watch The Muppets, 2015. Confusing, yeah... It’s the same-named, but sadly short lived series, spun out from the success of the new films. The docu-sitcom format is a natural fit for the fourth-wall breaking Muppets. For the first time since 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is solidly the leading man. We find him back in the studio, producing Up Late With Miss Piggy, amidst a flurry of Muppet interpersonal problems. As a quintessential Will They, Won’t They couple of the last half a century- it’s kind of incredible that the Muppet media that best portrays why Kermit and Piggy love each other is the one where they are very emphatically Did, But Don’t Anymore. It’s a refreshingly grown-up main story line! Aside from that- we all know C is for Cookie, but B is for B-Plots and running gags that absolutely slap. Fozzie’s beleaguered love life, Uncle Deadly’s wrangling of Piggy’s vast wardrobe, Scooter’s ongoing beef with his mother’s boyfriend, the meddling network president June Diane Raphael... I truly can’t get enough! Because they canceled it! Hmmph! And a pink satin heeled kick, and a hiiiii-ya!!

Anyway, the cameos and needle drops are expertly deployed, as fitting and offbeat as ever. I’m especially fond of Christina Applegate, Ed Helms, and Josh Groban’s appearances.

My absolute favorite episode, if you watch only one, is “Swine Song”. The network saddles Up Late With Miss Piggy with a brand manager who’s dead set on giving the show a face lift. Key and Peele, now reduced to running an Etsy shop after their own fiasco with the brand manager, feature.

I don’t know what happened, that we didn’t get more of The Muppets. Perhaps the 30 Rock-ification of the Muppets might have been more at home on a different network, with a different pool of veteran talents and sensibilities? Were we as a society just not ready in 2015 for a story about workplace friends, grounded by such sincerity? Eh, maybe. It’s no surprise Ted Lasso’s Bret Goldstein is one of the most vocal proponents for a Muppet comeback, with that in mind. Same niche!

If there is any justice in this universe… [clenches fist]

3. The Muppets Haunted Mansion, 2021, on Disney + is a welcome return to form after the platform’s first “exclusive” but paltry offering of Muppets Now (Don’t even... Don’t even bother to look…). Gonzo and Pepe challenge themselves to face their fears and spend the night in the spookiest place on earth, inspired by the beloved Disneyland ride. It’s great. If you’ve taken my advice this far and you’re still in, just. Just go for it. It’s 52 minutes. What else you got goin’ on? You’re elbow deep in some internet weirdo’s ramblings about a fifty year old troupe of talking socks.

Can’t get enough? Need to soak in hours more of puppety perfection?

4. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, 2019, Netflix. Not technically the Muppets TM, but absolutely a must see for a burgeoning Henson buff. Did you ever see the original 1982 film? Do! It’s rentable. The Dark Crystal is some high fantasy, live action, no humans, all puppet madness. It’s disturbing and strange and beautiful. An age old tale of corruption and ideals, told by some of the cutest, oddest little creatures you’ll ever see. (Deet and Hup!!!) And I mean. C’mon. The vocal talent! They didn’t even fit Bill Hader on the wiki cheat sheet, that’s how stacked it is!

5. Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, 2022, Apple TV. This one’s definitely made for the kids, but it’s exactly as lovingly rebooted as you hoped.

We’re getting down to some slim, definitely non mandatory pickings, now. Uhhhh…

6. Miss Piggy made an appearance on Drag Race!

7. The creature workshop whipped up some puppets for Coldplay’s Biutyful music video!

8. And here’s a half hour supercut of a bunch of ads featuring the Muppets, in the last fifteen years or so. It’s not entertainment, per se, but at the very least, you’ll see the Kermit Sipping Tea origin.

PART 2: Outside Readings

The road to your Masters in Muppetfrickery has been paved by many scholars. Here are a few peers whose work you might like to check out, now that you’re no longer a tadpole, but a fully grown frog, with hard cover books and podcast subscriptions, and junk!

Jim Henson: The Biography, by Brian Jay Jones

This book is exactly the comprehensive, compassionate deep dive you hope it is. Watch out, though! It did make me cry in an airport.

I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story, 2015.

A feel good documentary about the man under the bird. Available on Prime, Peacock, and others.

Muppet Guys Talking, 2017

Five of the original Muppet performers discuss their iconic characters. Muppetguystalking.com

Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street, 2021.

You guessed it! A doc about Sesame Street, on HBO.

Defunctland has also done some stellar coverage of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and more!  

Follow ToughPigs.com for a survey of what's up and coming in the various Henson adjacent worlds, and top tier curation of Muppet history. They have a podcast, too!

If you are lucky enough to live in NYC or DC, you can even see some Muppets in person!

Museum of Moving Image 

The Smithsonian

PART 3: The Oldies!

Whatever Muppet movies you had access to as a kid- there’s a good chance there’s one you missed! Good news is there’s still time to play catch up- whew!

Stitchy’s TOP TEN of the pre 2000 canon:

1. THE MUPPET MOVIE 1979 (Disney +)

2. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND 1996 (Disney +)

3. THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL 1992 (Disney +)

4. THE DARK CRYSTAL 1982 (Rent Only?)

5. LABYRINTH 1986 (Netflix)

6. THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER 1981 (Disney +)

7. MUPPETS FROM SPACE 1999 (Rent Only?)

8. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN 1984 (Prime)

9. THE MUPPET SHOW 1976-1981*** (Disney +)

10. EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS 1977 (Prime, Peacock)

If you’ve missed any of the top 5, BOY HOWDY are you in for a treat. Especially if you’ve never seen the original Muppet movie. I am on my hands and Always Conveniently Off Screen Knees, begging you to give it a shot. If it’s been decades- give it a watch with fresh eyes. It’s a sweet, simple, silly story about a frog who dreams of making people happy. It’s about art, and integrity, and joy, and friendship, and it’s just about the only place you’re gonna get Hare Krishna jokes, nowadays.

Of course, this list is just a start. There were quite a few obscure TV specials and series besides, but as they are very hard to track down on streaming, I won’t insist on their viewing. I do highly recommend the series Jim Henson’s The Storyteller, 1987-1989, however. These episodes are all self contained if you can dig one up on Google, and they are exquisite pieces of art. John Hurt stars as the gruff old Storyteller, weaving fantastical yet tactile folk tales that have stuck with me for decades.

***Sheesh! The Muppet Show is like, 44 hours of television. I can do better than just point you at it in its totality! That brings us to:

PART 4: Going Right to the Source.

It’s the OG. THE Muppet Show.

By all means, crack open that laptop and follow your nose! There are legends aplenty to pick from, and just about every one of the 120 episodes has a classic moment, somewhere in there. As you scroll through the many guests, I’m sure you’ll be drawn to such greats as Rita Moreno (This appearance is The E in her EGOT!), John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Bernadette Peters, Steve Martin, Elton John, Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner, the cast of Star Wars, and Carol Burnette. They all put on fantastic shows that are essential viewing, but I must also put in a good word for some personal favorites.

Paul Williams, one of the great American songwriters, author of The Rainbow Connection and many other classics 

Vincent Price, your favorite creepy uncle, and mine. (That’s right! We’re not just friends, we’re also cousins!)

Avery Schreiber, who never ever holds back, and whose episode features the fantastic Electric Mayhem rendition of “Tenderly”. 

Sandy Duncan, who’s “Nice Girl Like Me” is an unforgettable, leggy revamp of the Manilow classic.

Mummenschanz, who are impossible to describe, but who would have ruled Tik Tok.

Leo Sayer, serving up three of my favorite 70’s tunes.

Pearl Bailey, bringing down the house with a pastiche sure to delight any musical theater nerd.

Harry Belafonte. “Turn the World Around” never fails to bring a tear to my googly eye.

Linda Ronstadt, lacerating the ONLY live vocals in the history of the show, and also crushing so so hard on Kermie. Relatable af

PART 4: Looking Forward

 (video) 

And you may ask yourself, "What Muppet Am I?" And you may ask yourself, "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?"

What should come next for the Muppets? I say, if Disney is gonna own everything and everypiggy, go whole hog! Make Kermit the Avenger’s new therapist. Maybe he’s outside their insurance network (and dimension) but they have great rapport! Give Piggy a real late night slot, and get Grogu on to host a remote segment! Keep making the kids their kid shows, but embrace the grown up Gen X and Millennial audience with their own fare. Get back to the Muppets Sex and Violence roots, I double dog dare ya! Make a Muppet dating sim! Reboot Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony on Youtube! Hook up Lil Nas X with the Electric Mayhem! Stop dicking me around and get the Muppets to host the Oscars, for real! Bring back my best boy Walter, and take advantage of the Muppets’ unparalleled skill for literary adaptation. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Muppet is a story that demands to be told! 

Well, we do know one new series on the way in 2023- The Muppets Mayhem. A junior record exec must wrangle the unwrangle-able Electric Mayhem through the modern music industry as they record an album. I don’t know about you, but I’m crossing my furry little fingers.

[rainofbrasspetal]

Okay everybody shut the fuck up!!

It's time to read the snapple fact...

[thestitchywitchy]

Future Spouse: First Impressions Pt 1

Hello my dears! Here’s a little PAC I’ve been working on…. This is going to be a 2 part (possibly a third, 18+ post, depending on how well these do) series as this one became a lot longer than I intended it to lol. This one will be about your future spouse’s first impression of you. The next one will be your first impression of them. Please leave feedback 😁

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To book a reading with me, please DM or send an email to thestitchywitchy@yahoo.com with your inquiry 💌

My Links <- 🔮please support your witch💕 -> Masterlist

Please donate if you’re able to 🙏

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Here we go! Shake it out, take a breath, close your eyes, and choose one of my favorite movie couples that calls out most to you. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you feel inclined to choose more than one group, please feel free to do so.

Pictures are from Pinterest, credit to the owners. Editing was done by me, Stitchy!

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Gomez & Morticia - Pile One

6 of cups reversed, Queen of Swords, Page of Pentacles

All right, pile one, welcome to your reading! You will strike your future spouse as a complex individual from the very first moment. You may have seemed a bit guarded and reserved, which made them immediately think “💡I need to see what’s past that guard”. Aw cute lol. Some of you have a femme fatale thing going on and some of you are incredibly private or reserved, so you give off this mysterious vibe to your FS. The energy is as if you were carrying a heavy emotional burden from your past experiences on your shoulder, which makes you seem hesitant to open up to someone new.

As you two start conversing, they notice that you may have an air of authority about you. You may even be a manger/boss. Could even own your business or attempting to at the point of meeting them. This is only for some of you, but I’m also seeing kids? So you may be a parent or work with kids often. Teenagers/middle school age, specifically. They will also notice that you are very clear and precise in the way you communicate, and you seemingly have a sharp mind and quick wit about you. You may talk with your hands a lot too. They can tell that you’re someone who values honesty and straightforwardness above all else, and you are not someone who would suffer fools gladly. Get it, boo! Show those suckers what you’re made of 😉 But there was also something very innocent and curious about you under the surface that they are going to be intrigued by. Despite your guarded nature and no-nonsense attitude…you still seemed eager to learn and grow. They like that you may be open to new experiences and perspectives. You may have even called them out playfully or wasn’t afraid to stand up to them when they said something out of pocket. They aren’t typically used to receiving that energy so you made them go a bit gaga (even turned on for some of you lol) with this display of power.

Im sensing that, for a lot of you at least, you guys may really gravitate towards each other when you first meet because it seems like they were able to get to know you better on a deeper level right off the bat. They see that your past experiences have indeed left a deep mark on you and that you may be struggling to move past them. You may even bring up an ex or family issues during your conversation? But They also see that you had the strength and resilience to face your pain head-on and work towards healing and growth. They have/had no doubt that you have the intelligence and determination to make progress. They were inspired by your willingness to learn and explore new ways of thinking. You inspire them to become a better version of themselves. They may be going through some personal issues of their own at the time and the way you tackle issues may differ from they way they would usually do it. But they prefer your outlook on life so they may get inspired to take a page out of your playbook.

By the end of your meeting, they were left with a deep respect for this complex and multifaceted individual standing before them. You may have had a guarded and stand offish first impression, but they could see that beneath the surface was a person with a strong will, an open mind, and the courage to face your past and move towards a brighter future….and they would do anything in their power to be apart of it. Aww I love that for you, pile one! I hope you enjoyed your reading.

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Adam & Barbara - Pile Two

4 of pentacles, Ace of swords reversed, 9 of cups

Hey pile two, thanks for joining! Upon first meeting, you left a deep impression on your future spouse. To them, you seem to have an air of wealth and luxury about you. You may be dressed in your finest clothes or rockin your most expensive jewelry. Lmaooo I just heard “they’re bangin!” Sooo they’re really going to like your body, pile 2! 😂 can't get enough of it, apparently! That night/day, you will just all around be dressed to the nines and that will catch your FS’s attention right away. They may have noticed you right away, but it’s going to take them a little time to approach you. So as they continue to examine you from afar, they could sense something underneath all of the pretty wrapping paper. They feel a sense of possessiveness emanating from you. Like you’re holding on too tightly to your material possessions. It’s like…though you’re dressed to kill, they catch on to your insecurities beneath the surface. They’re trying to get familiar with your poker tells, basically.

Oop. Ok….Your FS may think that you might be having an identity crisis. Not necessarily in a negative way (although it might be for some of you who chose this pile), but it is apparent to them. You may be the type of person that struggles with their decision-making abilities. You may even seem lost and unsure of yourself, even though you’re dressed confidently. Like you don’t really belong in that setting, but you’re trying to fake it until you make it for whatever reason. This lack of clarity may also hinder you from making better choices for yourself. What I’m getting is like a nightclub, bar, or busy restaurant setting (take what resonates). You may have a lot of suitors physically surrounding you before your FS gets to you, so they’re still watching you from afar. They may see someone flirting with you and you’re eating up the attention and they’re just thinking to themselves… “really? You’re impressed by *that*?” Lmao your future spouse cracks me up. They’re a cerebral person, that’s for sure. They take in their surroundings before doing anything.

To them, it seems as though you are trying to use your wealth or material possessions to fill a void within yourself. Your future spouse feels like you’re trying to find emotional fulfillment in all the wrong places. They may also think you may be hard to satisfy or please, but are still not entirely sure what you really want. They see that you are seeking happiness but are met with fleeting moments instead and may even have lost touch with your emotional well-being. But they’re thinking that you’re knock out gorgeous, so why are you so sad?

Overall, their first impression of you is that you are struggling to find true happiness and emotional fulfillment in your life. While you may have amassed great wealth, luxury, and success ( whatever that means to you), you still seem to be missing something important in your day to day. They may have a fleeting thought of “ could it be me that’s missing from this equation?” Aww cute 🥰 hope you enjoyed your reading, pile 2!

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Seymour & Audrey - Pile Three

4 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Knight of Pentacles reversed

Hello pile 3, ready for your reading? Your future spouse’s first impression of you would be one of complexity and depth. They would see in you someone who is highly guarded and may be struggling with a fear of financial insecurity. You may be going through some difficulty at the time of meeting your future spouse and you may wear your worry on your face. For some of you, they felt your energy before they laid eyes on you. You may have been in a whirlwind of panic or frustration, maybe even tripping over yourself a bit, and they picked up on it before you even entered the room. Fear not, they will think your dishevelment is rather adorable lol awww!

However, they would also sense a deep emotional intelligence and sensitivity in you, much like the Queen of Cups. They would think that you’re someone who is highly empathetic and in tune with your and other’s emotions, but you may also be very protective of your feelings and hesitant to fully open up to others. I see a lot of nervous chuckling happening when you’re around them. They may have approached you in a teasing manner and you reacted shyly and a bit embarrassed. That’s so adorable pile 3! But remember, you’re the prize…no need to be nervous 😉 oh, I’m getting that they really like your smile! They instantly see in you someone they can start a life/family with. There’s just something about you that tick off all their boxes.

Your FS will also feel that you may be resistant to change and may prefer to stick to a routine or maintain the status quo. They see you as the type of person who doesn’t want to step on any toes, even in detriment to yourself. They feel that you may be cautious when it comes to taking risks or trying new things, but this energy can also indicate a strong sense of dedication and a willingness to work hard and persevere. They see that you like things done a certain way so that’s how you’re going to do it.

Overall, their first impression of you would be that you’re a person with a complex and multi-layered personality. They would see someone who is both highly sensitive and guarded. They want to tear your walls down. Make you feel safe with them. Hmm…Your fear of financial security keeps coming up… like you fear financial instability, so you’ve married yourself to your work to never see your bank account dip lower than a certain amount. It may worry them a bit that you may not have room for a relationship (with them) in your life because of this. However, On the same note, they would also see someone who is dedicated and hard-working… Someone who has the potential to break through their blocks and achieve success and fulfillment in life. Your FS would be drawn to your emotional depth and dedication, and would be eager to help you navigate any challenges that may arise….they’re just hoping you’ll make a little bit of space for them in order to do that. Aw, congrats pile 3. That sounds sweet!!

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All rights reserved to @thestitchywitchy . Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading 😊 if you liked this reading and would like to dive in further, please DM me for a $7.77 extended reading 💞

[cutestkilla]

It's WIPsday and I have dragged myself bodily from out of under a pile of work to finally post something again! Thanks for the tags today @hushed-chorus @martsonmars @imagineacoolusername and @prettygoododds and to everyone who continues to tag me even as I disappear from the face of the earth. I love reading your WIPs so much, every time!

So, no writing has happened lately at all (SOON THOUGH), but I have gotten started on some sketches for something that will be posting as part of a collab next month (WHAT COULD IT BE?). So, have a little sketchy wet!Baz from part of a larger scene I'm sketching up right now. (Posting wet Baz art in July is becoming my summer tradition, I guess.)

And now, tags and hellos for: @artsyunderstudy @ivelovedhimthroughworse @creepyspice @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @ileadacharmedlife @shrekgogurt @technetiumai @onepintobean @thewholelemon @raenestee @moodandmist @captain-aralias @whatevertheweather          @wetheformidables  @confused-bi-queer @forabeatofadrum  @letraspal    @aristocratic-otter @tea-brigade @mostlymaudlin  @otherworldsivelivedin  @palimpsessed @messofthejess @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @nightimedreamersworld @shemakesmeforget      @erzbethluna    @asticou  @larkral  @stitchy-queerista @chen-chen-chen-again-chen  @yellobb @ic3-que3n @alleycat0306 @valeffelees @blackberrysummerblog @theearlgreymage  @j-nipper-95  @orangepeony @rimeswithpurple

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @artsyunderstudy and @whatevertheweather for the tags! Below the cut, six(teen) sentences from ch. 7 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (Yes, only 1 chapterlette is posted right now; I jumped the gun and don't want to again.)

Chapter 7 is sort of a summer-in-Hampshire fluff calm between two storms. Baz has just come in from hunting.

Was shaking a little when I heard a voice fluting down our hallway. Found the twins sat up in Sophie’s bed, wide awake and talking gibberish. (Probably full of magic, though twin languages' effects are highly localized.) Next to the bed Daphne was fast asleep in a wicker armchair, [Redacted book title] open in her lap—what was left of it. She was nearly as huge now as she’d been with the twins. “Basil’s fluffy!” squealed Petra. “Never.” I smoothed down my rain-frizzed hair, kicked off my shoes and eased the book from my sleeping stepmother. “Budge up.”

Baz reads, the girls fall asleep, Daphne wakes up.

“All right, Mum?” “Grand, love.” I must have looked skeptical. “Really. I’ve been sleeping in chairs all week.” That alone was gorier personal detail than I’d heard from my father in my entire life. Alien spawn could erupt from his viscera and Malcolm Grimm would just remark on the weather, then die.

No-pressure agging @facewithoutheart, @hushed-chorus, @youarenevertooold, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @cutestkilla, @ileadacharmedlife, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @ebbpettier, @fight-surrender, @adamarks, @larkral, @nightimedreamersworld, @onepintobean, @penpanoply, @rimeswithpurple, @stitchy-queerista, @wetheformidables, @whogaveyoupermission, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @yellobb-old, @yeonjunenby, @forabeatofadrum, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @skee3000, @mostlymaudlin. Would love to see what you're up to, whether it's writing or some other project.

[test23-24m]

Stitchwrait appreciation post cause mf is a underrated villan.

AGHHH damn you Stitchwrait. I never seen Sun and Moon's lifes get that messed up since idk how long. You're doing a good job as a villan, Stitchy my boy. You made Earth become more self aware? I think? I don't care what you did, I still dislike you more than I did with Eclipse. Eclipse at least somewhat REGRETED WHAT HE DID. Btw I'm just happy that you got included in the security breach show world, and as a good villan, even! Anyways, you have a nice voice! I hate you :]

[noblecorgi]

Chapter 5: Marriage made in Heaven

My beta: You need to make a fic header.

Also my beta: Where is chapter 5?!?! We finished it!

So once again, thanks to my beta/dom Becky for the new header, harassing me to get my shit together to post, and making this story about 1000x better and more coherent.

@wellbelesbian @whatevertheweather @emjaydellyone @emeryhall @ebbpettier @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @rimeswithpurple @raenestee @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @that-disabled-princess @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @ichooseyousnowbaz @ic3-que3n @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @artsyunderstudy @angelsfalling16 @asocialpessimist @ahbutwhatisaheavenfor @ao3feed-snowbaz @stitchy-queerista @stardustasincocaine @skee3000 @delilahs-artz @facewithoutheart @frjsti @hushed-chorus @letraspal @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @captain-aralias @beastmonstertitan @ninemagicks @nausikaaa @messofthejess @martsonmars @monbons @basiltonbutliketheherb @brilla-brilla-estrellita @bazisplottingsomething @midgart