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merv606 · 7 months

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Puritianverse idea, kinda dark.

Though they will only wed when their Omega at the legal age of 20, and nothing will happen before then except for supervised visits, adult Alphas select their future Omegas in a Selection Ceremony when they are 16. This is done so that Omegas can be trained and molded to fit their personal Alphas likes and needs, and be taught how to be a proper helpmate in the four years until they are wed.

Daniel is very frightened at the Ceremony, and is nervous that he will be chosen by an Alpha who will be cruel to him, or worse—will not bless him with pups or attend Church. While waiting to be selected and brought on stage to be bid upon, Daniel decides to pray, hoping that the Lord will hear his pleas. He doesn’t realize that he’s caught the eye of older, highly eligible Alpha Silver, who watches him with both amusement and interest, liking the look of the little one done up in white, and also his pretty scent.

Yes…he might be leaving with a future mate tonight. Better stake his claim, then.

We’re going full trashy paperback romance novel style here people - cracks knuckles - and it’s oddly kind of soft too 🤔

In honor of Valentine’s Day 😏

Beware - wording such as throbbing manhood (my beloved), maidenhead (old time wording for Hymen), and while I try to keep some of the omega stuff neutral such as omeaghood and omega hole etc this one will refer to things such as womanhood (slang in this universe for an omeag’s hole) and motherhood etc and will be heavy on the virgin aspect even by puritan verse standards.

Going to say this ceremony is 18.

“An omega is made to fit an alpha,” his tutor explains.

Daniel is at the residence of Alpha Silver, his betrothed, as of about only a week ago, paying rapt attention to her.

“How?”

“Your womanhood is meant for his manhood ..”

“What is a manhood?” He cuts her off unintentionally.

She sighs. “Opposite of what you have,” she explains as a crude picture of an alpha’s flaccid manhood is shown.

Daniel makes a face.

“An alpha’s cock hardens upon being in the presence of their omega, especially when their omega is aroused. The scent of your wetness…”

“Wetness?” he questions.

She sighs again, more deeply this time and extremely put upon. These pious ones, come with virtually no knowledge of how mating works; of how simple biology works. Kept deliberately ignorant of their place in the world.

She has been tasked with educating him in the rudimentary terms of what will happen on his wedding night. It was decided this was best, to avoid frightening him. The pious ones tend to startle easily, and fretting or nerves about these duties expected of them - she doubts he’s even touched himself in anyway shape or form - would build up until the wedding night and make for an unpleasant consummation, which is something Lord Silver wishes to avoid.

These, his marital duties to his alpha, were the last lessons on her agenda, already having gone through his duties as the omega of the house. Although, in the case of being a mate of a Silver, he will not exactly be doing much of anything. She doubts he’ll see the outside of their bed chambers for awhile.

The taste of actual chores required to upkeep such a manor will fall to the various staff, of which their plate manner, each with their own specific duties. So rather, Daniel has to know how to direct those who are responsible for the various duties of the estate to keep everything running smoothly. Although she knows that Margaret is still going to be in charge, behind the scenes.

She knows the little omega will be the happy homemaker type - wanting to fuss over his alpha and pups, of which she expects there to to be many. She’s also excepting that the pups shall start sooner rather than later.

“Your womanhood will become wet,” she explains, back to the task at hand, “in order to aid the alpha is allowing you to receive him.”

Before he can even ask - she answers, heading off the question she knows is coming.

“He will put that inside you and fill you with his seed.”

“Oh,” is all he says, and he looks dubious.

“Putting his manhood inside you is how he bestows motherhood on you.”

That perks him up a bit although he still looks apprehensive.

“These are your marital duties you wil be expected to perform them on your marital bed. These are your alpha’s god given husbandly rights.”

That seems to be the key words.

“How does that place a blessing inside?”

“His seed will fill you and Once that seed takes, the baby will start to grow and your body will go through changes.”

She delves then, into the changes.

“Your stomach will grow, as will your chest, which will fill with milk to feed your pups. Your nipples will darken, and swell, to allow the babe easily access to find them for nursing.”

“Your alpha has already hired you a mid-wife, one of the best, to help through your pregnancy and in feeding the pup.”

“Have I met her?” he asks. These decisions are of course up to the alpha but he’s met so many people in the last week.

“She did your exam.”

Daniel remembers her now. She was a lovely lady - an older omega who had put him at ease as she examined him, first checking his chest for good health, stating to Terry who was in the room, unusual but within his rights, that although small, his nipples were textbook omega perfection for feeding.

“The babe will have no problem latching,” she had said to the alpha who was watching everything intently, turning to Daniel with a smile then, telling him that she’d “show him how to do it when the time came. I myself had four pups, so trust me, I’m a pro,” winking at him.

Then she had fixed his gown back in place and taken his temperature, counting on her watch the minutes before taking it from his mouth, smiling at the results. Then came his blood pressure, the cuff tight, and his pulse next, warm hand around his wrist, a contrast to the cold of the stethoscope placed to his chest to listen to his heartbeat. She recorded it all in a chart before taking his blood for testing.

They he was laid flat on the bed, his legs in the stirrups as she gentle inserted a finger to test his purity. Terry was at his side, hand on his knee, thumb rubbing the inside gently.

She had helped him sit up, smiling as she turned to talk to the alpha, as they walked a few feet away although he could still hear her telling Terry that, “his maidenhead is intact.”

“I had no doubt,” Terry said, voice pitched low, “but you knows these things must be official.”

She nodded her understanding before continuing.

“Once you’ve had your rights I’d like to examine him again, make sure his cervix is healthy, and that it will cause no issues once a pup takes. It’s best to do this exam after they’ve performed their marital duties, that way they are accustomed to something inside.”

Terry nodded. “That would make sense, and anything you think in your professional opinion is best. For him and the eventual pups, although he matters to me the most.”

The bond had been instant, the minute Terry had laid eyes on the brunette beauty.

He knew.

And when the scent of him filled his senses …..

He knew … what he wouldn’t do …

The boy would be his.

It was something the alpha had long given up hope of finding: his omega.

Although weak, the depth of feeling he has for the little omega before him is both frightening and exhilarating.

It was only a week ago that he had caught the eye of Terry at the omega auction and oh how his life had changed.

He had tried to keep his designation a secret but it had been discovered, and upon hitting 18, claiming age, he was registered as an eligible omega for the auctions.

It was what happened to the omegas without station or wealth, something f he would have both of upon taking Terry’s name.

Daniel had not expected to be bethroted to the most eligible sought after alpha. Never in his wildest dreams did he consider that a remote possibility.

Although a rare male omega, and one of great beauty, he came for humble background with no family or dowry which, was part of the reason he was there being auctioned off.

It has caused quite a stir when as soon as bidding was opened on him, a small war started, which surprised him.

A bidding frenzy and eruption of voices calling out amounts.

Because despite his surprise at the near vicious bidding, no was prepared for Terry Silver, a thoroughbred alpha, for his voice to call out, loud and clear, “10 million dollars.”

Everyone had instantly fallen silent.

The gravel banging loud in his ears, flinching after each other, going once going twice sold to Lord Terrence Silver.

They tell him it broke a record, the winning bid.

He was to be the omega to a Lord now, they said.

But before he could process anything, Daniel had been quickly ushered off stage, bundled up, and escorted into a fancy car which eventually brought him to a massive house. The biggest he’d seen.

Handmaidens had introduced themselves and lead him to a freshly prepared bath.

The water was warm, not like it was at the auction centre and especially not at the church, where he lived in a small room with several other omegas.

The tub was the biggest he’d seen, claw footed and something he might be able to swim in. Daniel thinks its bigger than the entire communal bathroom the omegas at the church shared. The water was piled high with bubbles and something in smelled like the faint scent of roses on a warm summer’s night, when the scent hangs heavy in the moisture in the air.

After he was finally coaxed out, no small feat, several maidens took to drying him off, with the fluffiest towel he had ever felt.

He didn’t think his skin had been softer, and that was before they slathered him down with lotion, that same smell as the water had been.

After that his hair was tamed as best they could, and they helped him dress, in the finest clothes he had even touched.

Then he was taken to another room, a parlour he thinks they called in, and officially presented to his alpha who formally introduced himself.

“I am Lord Terrence Silver, the third of my line, and your future alpha, my love,” bending down to place a kiss upon his hand. “You may call me Terry, Alpha, or Sir,” he furthered, holding his arm out in an invitation which Daniel took, before escorting him to dinner.

He’s lead to an ornate chair, which is pulled out for him, his alpha pushing the chair on once he’s seating before talking his own.

Daniel sits, wide eyed and mouth open as the food is served, more food than he thinks he’s ever seen, and every so often, one of the many people just standing around steps forward to quickly whisper in his ear of which utensil to use. There are so many. More than he thought existed.

Terry explains that, unbeknownst to Daniel, he had caught sight of the little omega before the auction, and that he knew as soon as he smelled the omega, that he was meant to be here, meant to belong to Terry.

Terry listens as Daniel tells him of his life, his idyllic childhood and recent misfortunes that lead to his living at the church, needing to be registered at the auctions.

The little omega is reaching for a third dessert when he stops, aware of the alpha’s eyes on him, thinking the alpha is watching his behaviour, and he realizes how gluttonous it must be, so caught up in it all, when in fact Terry is trying not to simply have his little omega then and there.

“One should indulge in pleasure when one can,” Terry says, pushing forward the dessert his mate had been reaching for.

Daniel hums happily as he bites into the sugary convection and Terry has to bring the napkin that had been in his lap to his mouth, disguising a groan as a cough.

Later on he is escorted to his room, which is right next to the alpha’s, and it’s gorgeous, he’s never seen a more beautiful room, although it’s not permanent, for when the time comes, it will be the alpha’s room he will be moving into.

They will sometime live with the alpha and sometimes they will continue to live with their family or at the auction centre and the alpha provides for them still it was clear he would be the former.

Terry shows him around letting him know of the door that connects his to the alpha’s should he need anything.

That first night, he has a nightmare, his lady in waiting running in to see what is the matter.

Downstairs, Terry stopped playing the piano sensing through the bond, albeit weak from its newness, that his mate was distressed, although from what he did not know.

Moments later though, his little omega appears, hair sleep rumpled, although the lines around his eyes make Terry frown. There should be no worrisome thoughts occupying his pretty little omega’s head.

A period of adjustment should be expected, he thinks. For now his little omega needs his sleep.

“That’s pretty,” he says, hesitant, but when Terry gestures him over, Daniel quickly sits on the bench next to him. Being next to the alpha fills him with something he cannot place.

A glass of warm milk is given to the little omega who gulps it down.

One song flows into the next, and when the body grows heavy against Terry’s side, he stops, easily lifting his little prize up, walking them both to their room.

Although he should return the slumbering boy back to his own bed chamber, close contact and surrounding the omega with his scent should help, although the sleeping tablet in his milk will see that he doesn’t wake, ensuring he gets his much needed sleep.

Terry decides to postpone Daniel’s lessons, giving him a Week to get used to his new home, and most importantly the fact he has an alpha now.

Terry has official duties to attend to throughout the days, but any moment he can, he spends with the little omega, getting to know him.

Still, the omega lessons must eventually begin - for someone as wealthy and high in status as Terry, they are essential, His omega’s behaviour reflects on him and his house.

These lessons, longer than most due to his alpha’s status, and combined courtship normally lasts a year and at that point the omega would be 19 which is the normal breeding age although Terry has already put in for a marriage license to wed his omega as soon as it is approved.

The bond is there, and will only strengthen further with marriage and mating.

They have nothing but time. Terry will see to that.

Daniel is brought out his memories and back to the present by his tutor’s voice.

“So, your alpha will put his manhood inside you and bestow motherhood on you - the greatest gift for an omega … the greatest gift an alpha can bestow upon an omega,” she corrects.

She announces a short break before starting their next lessons - breeding positions and which ones were best to both heighten pleasure and ensure conception.

That night at dinner his little omega is quiet, where normally he would be speaking a mile a minute, and Terry misses his voice, watching as he pushes the food around the plate.

He knows the lesson plan they went over today, and how these pious ones spook easily.

Terry will endeavour, with everything in his power, that his little omega’s first time, their wedding night, will be good for him; for them both.

That night, Daniel is tense as he eyes his side of the bed, Terry not having allowed the little omega to return to his rooms after that first night. Normally he would be jumping in, stealing the blankets.

Terry sits in the edge of the bed, patting it.

He takes a small hand in his, kissing each finger softly.

“You need not worry - it can be - it will be a very pleasurable act for you. Once it happens, after we are wed,” he stresses.

He cups his face, and Daniel closes his eyes, breathing in the calming pheromones his alpha is surrounding him with.

Terry is trying to move slow, to follow the rules and behaviour that decorum dictates, but he will not have his little omega fret, not over the love they shall express for each other in such a manner, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later, as soon as Terry finally obtains that license.

In the meantime, maybe he can ease his nerves but showing him but a glimpse of pleasure Terry can show him he is capable of.

“I want to show you something.”

Big brown eyes open, looking at the alpha with nothing but curiosity and trust now.

“I cannot take you, not until you wear my ring and name, which will be soon, but there is nothing saying I cannot touch you in the meantime.”

A hand disappears under the soft white nightshirt Daniel is given each night to sleep in, Soft featherlight touches outside his underwear but right against his omega mound.

It feels good, sinfully good although he can’t bring himself to stop, his thighs falling open.

He can feel his underwear dampening, a throbbing between his legs the more the alpha touches him there.

Hands slipping between his legs, the little omega gasping, his are legs opened, as the alpha kisses down his stomach, his hands peeling down his underwear before kissing him there …. Mouth going lower to lap at the abundance of slick there.

“What a pretty little pearl you have,” his alpha praises, tongue flicking out against the omega’s aroused clit.

It doesn’t take much more for him to come by the alpha’s mouth on him, messily eating him out.

“What was that?” Daniel asks, dazed after he’s finally stopped coming, toes curling and slick everywhere.

“That was also my Husbandly prerogative.”

“Oh,” Daniel says. “It’s all he can say. His head swimming, his body on fire, lungs starved for air.

“Has … has your manhood had its first stirrings?” He asks, trying to remember the tutor’s words, when he finally comes back to himself.

Daniel’s nightshirt is pushed up around his waist, in response, and his underwear, which had been at his ankles as the alpha ate his fill, are removed entirely now.

He has Daniel snug against him, narrow back tight to his broad chest, his cock fucking through the tight channel of slender thighs.

Not what Terry wants but will have to do.

His hand back at the little omega’s stiff little pearl, keening as Terry rubs another orgasm out of him, coating those smooth thighs in white moments later when he comes himself.

Terry can’t wait to stake his claim properly, for his seed to be buried deep inside, dripping out of his hole instead of down his thighs.

For now though, the little omega falls asleep in his arms after being clean up, and Terry breaths him in, everything is right in the alpha’s world.

#i got an ask 🤩#ask #cobra kai #daniel larusso #karate kid #terry silver #silverusso #silverrusso #I need a puritan verse

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obsessivelollipoplalala · 3 years

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Submission

Hey there, long time no see!

I've been dipping in and out of Tumblr the last couple of weeks and have been keeping up with all your interesting discussions with anons (sorry, stalkerish I know, but I find it both insightful and entertaining.) I couldn't help but notice @just-a-poor-boy-queen posted about our good old friend on Instagram spouting her usual bullshit, only this time she apparently has proof that her claims are real from Lying Ass Jerkoff , sorry, Lesley Ann Jones' latest book. According to her, as you already know, she claims that Lesley denounces Jim and Freddie's relationship and Jim apparently confessed to her that he never loved Freddie, that he used him for fame, etc. etc.

Which is...very interesting. Because LAJ's biography, Bohemian Rhapsody, claims the exact opposite.

While I was out in town today, I visited my local bookstore and unintentionally stumbled across the book in the biography section. My first instinct was to ignore it - I know for a fact it's trash - but curiosity got the better of me and I ended up having a flip through.

First off, the amount of stuff she gets wrong is hilarious. Some of them were minute errors, others the average Queen fan could tell you is fake. I'm pretty sure she talked about Freddie taking Princess Diana out in drag and the party with the midgets carrying bowls of cocaine on their heads, which we know never happened. There was also a picture of Freddie and Mary (one where Freddie is leaning on Mary while she's smoking a cigarette,) that was captioned "the happy couple relaxing together," which made me laugh out loud because it was allegedly taken in 1975 when Freddie was dating David behind Mary's back. Relationship goals, ammirite?

And don't get me started on the Barbara stuff, I stg, LAJ seems low-key obsessed with her.

Anyway, I ended up skipping to the end where she talks about Jim; she does indeed claim that she stayed with him in Carlow (not sure what year,) and that she interviewed him while she was there. This is what she had to say:

On Jim's motivation for writing M&M: (Jones) "Jim Hutton later explained that it was anger, not money, that prompted him to write his memoir. He wanted the world to know the truth, and could see no other way."

(Jones) "There is no doubt that Jim, the bereft lover, embarked upon his selective 1994 biography with the intention of creating a tender tribute to an adored partner. This was blurred by a co-writer who dwelled more on sensational aspects of the relationship, as well as on intimate details of Freddie's final days."

(Jones) "Given Jim's Catholic background, and the fact that his mother was still alive when he published, it must have taken immense courage to write the book."

About the GL boys being erased by Jim Beach: (Jim) "I think Jim Beach was angry that my book ruined the myth of Freddie. All it did was return him to his original status of a human being. It told the truth. Beach wanted fans to believe that sweet Mary Austin was the love of Freddie's life, and what a great, tragic, romantic tale it all was."

(Jones) "Jim was consequently banished from the Queen camp." (She goes on to explain it's likely because everyone was grieving, but I don't buy it.)

(Jones) "Freddie's will raised countless questions, some of which would never be resolved." (I thought this was interesting, given that I've seen speculation that Freddie might have been influenced over what to put in his will before.)

On Dave Clark: (Jones) "The press reported that Dave Clark had said he was the only person in the bedroom when Freddie died. 'He was not the only person in the room,' Jim stated. 'But it was quoted all over the place.' The error must have been perturbed the sensitive and caring Clark, for on his birthday, Jim received a beautiful card from him. 'The inscription he wrote inside read "you were there.' " (Jim goes on to recount the exact same version of events written in Mercury & Me about Freddie's death. He speaks highly of Clark, saying he was brilliant when Freddie was ill and would sit with him for hours. Jim seems more angry at the press spreading lies than at Dave himself. I've seen people argue that Dave was the one spreading the rumours to the paper or he did nothing to refute them, but who knows, perhaps he was a victim of the tabloids too.)

Phoebe testifying to Jim's character: (Phoebe) "Those concerned have to live with themselves. Mary once said of Jim that he had 'a very vivid imagination.' I knew Jim a very long time, and never knew him to be anything other than totally honest. Jim's conscience, like mine, will always be clear." (Given how Phoebe now makes a point of saying that Jim "exaggerated" stuff in his book, I find this a tad hypocritical. Still, I appreciate him sticking up for Jim and saying that those who are trying to change Freddie's legacy will have to live with that on their conscience. Also, fuck you Mary, if you did say that about Jim.)

On Jim's love for Freddie: (Jones) "There are still times when I can be pottering around in the garden, and Freddie's facial expression when he died will come into my mind," he told me in Ireland, "I can blank out what happened consciously but not subconsciously. It is impossible to forget. I learned so much from him, not least a positive outlook. Freddie's attitude was always, 'But you can, don't you see? You can do it. Put your mind to it, you'll see what you can do' That was one of the loveliest things about him."

(Jones) "During the time I spent with Jim in picturesque County Carlow, there was no doubt that the love Jim claimed to have felt for Freddie was genuine. He was a warm and decent man who was content with his lot. He was eternally grateful, he told me, for having experienced the superstar lifestyle through Freddie."

(Jones) "Jim would never truly recover from the loss."

I took screenshots of all the quotes above, which I'm happy to submit if anyone is interested. I would love to have seen what else she said about Jim, but taking pictures of book pages in the middle of a shop isn't the best look, so I kept it brief.

So, overall, Lesley seems to have a very high opinion of Jim, and believed the love between he and Freddie was genuine. Which is quite surprising, given that she downplays all of Freddie's other relationships with men in favour of promoting his fictional "romance" with Miss Valentin. Of course, this could all be complete bullshit and she never met Jim at all, but if she is telling the truth for once in her life, then she's one of few biographers who was very much supportive of Jimercury.

As one of the anons correctly stated, we have two possible scenarios.

A) If crazy lady is telling the truth, and Jones does make all these negative claims about Jim in her new book, then she was either lying in Bohemian Rhapsody or she's lying now in her latest cash cow. In this scenario, she's a liar either way. But tell us something we don't know.

B) Crazy Lady is pretending to have read the book, or read it and was angry there was nothing bad about Jim, and is fabricating quotes to suit her anti-Jim agenda, knowing her thick-as-bricks followers will just take her word for it and not bother looking for evidence. This is the most likely scenario.

I know most people with a brain know not to trust the word of either of these women, but I thought it would be fun to dismantle some of Insta lady's claims regardless, in case there was anyone out there having doubts.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

-------------

Hi there! It's good to see you again.

This...is a lot to think about lol. Since LAJ is such a liar, it's hard to believe she really sat down with Jim, or that most of what she said was from primary sources. However, it is strange that she spoke so highly of Jim given...everything else she's ever said lol. The quotes above do fit with what other people have said about Jim and Garden Lodge as a whole, though. It's very strange because it's either she decided to be factual with this, or lie about getting these quotes but decide to stick up for Jim, anyway. Weird, weird, weird.

It's really hard to know who's lying in the new book, LAJ or the hater lady. They're both so unreliable. It does seem too convenient that what LAJ supposedly says lines up with the hater lady rhetoric, but idk. Apparently LAJ blocked the hater lady on twitter, too lmao. So maybe it's the hater lady who's lying? But I can believe LAJ suddenly changing her tune, too.

I don't know. Thank you for sharing this information. I have more questions than answers now lol but still

#submission #queen #long post

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eschergirls · 4 years

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Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs. Even as comedy this comes up short. I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up. Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

#magazines #pc accelerator #video games #double standards #representation #general sexism #links #submission

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carewyncromwell · 4 years

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Hello :).

So.. Can i get some Headcanons for both Jacob and Carewyn cromwell about "How would they react when they see a random little kid crying and how would they handle it"?.

And, "What kind of their music taste like? Rock? Pop? Orchestral? Etc..".

Then, "Which muggle sports the most appealing in their eyes and do they want to try it too or nah?".

Last, "The most awkward/don't know what to do if someone confessed to them (Romantically)".

Ah, sorry for this 😅. Hope you have a great day! Don't forget to smile 💙 :)

Oh my gosh! So many lovely questions about my precious Cromwell kiddos!! Thank you for the good wishes, as well -- I’m feeling a lot better today, and the support really does mean a lot. *virtual hug* <3

All right! Let me see here...Carey and Jay!

"How would they react when they see a random little kid crying and how would they handle it?”

Carewyn: Immediately get down on their level and try to comfort them and figure out what was wrong! Carewyn is the ultimate Mama Bear.

Jacob: At first he’d probably assume the kid’s just throwing a tantrum or something and ignore it. If the kid was alone and/or in visible distress, though, he’d probably look around for the parents. If he doesn’t see them, he’d then try to see if the kid was lost and help find them.

"What kind of their music taste like? Rock? Pop? Orchestral? Etc..”

Hahahaha, okay, Carewyn and Jacob’s music tastes are completely antithetical to their respective “images,” so this is a particularly good question.

Carewyn: “Little Miss Perfect” is all about the rock and roll, baby! Her favorite band is the Eurythmics, but she’s also a huge fan of artists like Queen, AC/DC, Elton John, and Michael Jackson among others, and of course she adores the Weird Sisters. Carey-Bear actually really enjoys rocking out to the hard stuff with Tonks, Charlie, and Carson Ivey @ariparri.

Jacob: The eccentric, grungy, cocky magical prodigy known as Jacob Cromwell likes a lot of chiller and/or cheerful 60′s and 70′s folk and pop music, such as Don McLean, the Osmonds, and Olivia Newton-John, but his ultimate guilty pleasure is ABBA. If you put on Dancing Queen, Take a Chance on Me, or especially his favorite song Mama Mia!, Jacob will be almost physically unable to not dance and sing along.

Both of them are also incredibly fond of singing Christmas carols with their mother Lane! When Carewyn and Jacob were young, the three Cromwells used to go caroling with a group from the Muggle church down the road from their house every year.

"Which muggle sports the most appealing in their eyes and do they want to try it too or nah?"

Carewyn: Carewyn’s much more into watching and playing Quidditch than any Muggle sports, but she does find figure skating competitions a lot of fun to watch! She thinks the talent of the competitors is incredible and their routines are very artistic and pretty too.

Jacob: Jacob’s even less of a sports person than his sister, unfortunately, so watching and playing sports of any type isn’t really his jam. He’s honestly way more of a scholar than a jock.

"The most awkward/don't know what to do if someone confessed to them (Romantically)"

Carewyn: Oh boy. Please don’t confess to this poor child unless you know for sure she feels the same way -- otherwise she will hate herself FOREVER knowing that she can’t be what you want her to be. Carewyn has a lot of self loathing as it is and constantly feels like she’s never good enough for anyone she does feel for, so if she doesn’t feel the same way for you, she’ll resent herself so much for hurting you, even if it’s totally not her fault. There have been a few times Carewyn’s gotten valentines from secret admirers in the past, many of whom she never learned the identities of, and she hated receiving them because she hated the thought both of someone liking her who she didn’t like back and of someone claiming romantic feelings when they probably didn’t even know her very well. (Most of those secret admirers maaaay or may not have been kind of “headed off” by some of Carey’s buddies and told to cease and desist, so as not to get their hearts broken and not upset Carewyn further. *cough*TulipTonksandCharlie*cough*)

Jacob: *snorts* Um...Jacob is an absolute idiot when it comes to people, and that includes romance. There are plenty of times my poor disaster bi boy has had a crush on someone, but it took someone else explicitly bringing up his weird behavior around the person or asking him if he felt something special for Jacob to even realize he had a crush in the first place. Admittedly Jacob’s reckless overconfidence, genius intellect, and risky escapades regarding the Cursed Vaults tended to ward a lot of his classmates off, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have any admirers at school. The few people who were actually brave and foolish enough to try to make any romantic advances toward Jacob, however, had to deal with his boy best friend Duncan Ashe, who did NOT approve of just about anyone who might want to date Jacob. Sometimes Duncan would stand back and let them ask if he knew Jacob wasn’t particularly interested, since it was funny to watch those people comically hit the wonderfully book-smart, people-dumb brick wall that was Jacob Cromwell -- but from time to time, Duncan would also hide a love note sent Jacob’s way, partially to “protect” Jacob and partially out of pure jealousy. Often those notes were from people that Duncan acknowledged could be attractive in some way to Jacob (i.e. physically), but Duncan just didn’t trust them around Jacob for whatever reason, whether because he didn’t like them as people or they had a reputation for playing with people’s hearts. Duncan was never able to admit his own feelings for Jacob before his death out of his own pride, and Jacob didn’t ever acknowledge the feelings he’d subconsciously been nurturing for Duncan until after his death, and that’s a rather sore spot for both of them.

Send me one of my characters, I’ll give you a headcanon!

#headcanon ask #carewyn cromwell #jacob cromwell #about carewyn #about jacob #duncan ashe #lane cromwell #charlie weasley #nymphadora tonks #tulip karasu #carson ivey

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the-lonely-bookeeper · 4 years

Text

The Pink Side: who he is and how he comes in.

Yall are sleeping on the pink side guys

As we know. There is going to be another side, as the thumbnail of the new video, there is a blank character piece where we assume a new side is.. It seems to be a dark side, but I propose this. What if there was a pink side, and that pink side was viewed as a 'good' side right off the bat?

(Good and bad are subjective. I'm saying that if he wasn't immediately assumed to be a bad guy and didn't need to be 'accepted')

I'm a sucker for Orange Side! Logan, so this was my immediate thought to the thumbnail. Much like a game, some characters can switch over and change, so I thought that if he does switch over, another side will take his place. Introducing the Pink Side

I personally think that he is love, which Thomas might be having problems with since guys and dolls, so all the other sides might not particularly like him. My reason being he dipped when Thomas got his heart broken, leaving Patton and Roman to deal with the emotional turmoil. (Something I'll explain in another post.)

The idea for him popping up now is because, as I said before, Logans gone, So now there is another roll to fill, along with Janus taking Logans time up and that Thomas has a new love interest. That dredges up memories of guys and dolls and other heartbreaks that Patton and Roman can't seem to take anymore, so they don't particularly love him being there.

Now you might be thinking, Roswell, Roman and Remus have the whole love thing covered! And yeah, I get that. Buuuut, I think their version of love is outward romance. The love languages, what you do for and to the person you love to show that you love them. Such as getting flowers or chocolates or doing stuff just because, whether for your friend or lover. The outward expression. Like when Roman was romancing Valarie in Alone Again On Valentines day, he did different things for her to show how he cared.

This love could be the inward expression. Something Thomas would have needed to repress in his teenage years. It's the butterflies in your stomach. The thinking about that person all the time. The writing letters in the margins of your notes and then tearing them out so no one sees them. The looking on and wishing you could go up and talk and maybe be friends with that person. The seeing a meme and thinking of them. That kinda love. Because we know how much Thomas loves his friends.

So this new side shows up, and everyone's like egh, what are you doing here cause it seems like every time he shows up something not good happens (ex. Thomas figuring hes gay, something happening to where he will never be with the person he likes, he gets his heart broken etc etc) and this klutzy little awkward boy with a crush cause I say hes like that informs that Thomas and I shall quote "like-likes so n so"

And everyone goes fucking ballistic.

So while everyone's flipping their shit, Thomas could ask "What's so bad about that?" And someone (probably Janus) is like "yeah. If he says you like-like someone, we're in for a long haul." And they explain that whenever this lovesick fool comes in and takes control, its bad.

Thomas can't focus, his anxiety rate skyrockets, because (and sorry for anyone who's aromantic) you know that feeling when someone tells you that your crush knows you like them or you get the feeling they do. Or when you're in front of them, or their friends, or their dog and you really don't want to mess up.

So obviously because this side is like that, everyone thinks of him as a 'darker' side. Of course hopefully we will have broken up a bit of the black and white thinking that Thomas has. But this could go many ways, and I'm going to propose two.

The first is, someone (most likely Thomas) is like "well, why is he bad?" And explains how love can be good in a lot of ways, explains the different types of love, like platonic love, family love, self love (wink wink) and then sends them all on their way with a nice lesson and a new side. But of course, my mind isn't just like that, fluffy endings and all, save that for the sanders asides, so there's also.

Logan comes in. As the orange side.

Now the 43110 theory pokes holes into the orange side Logan theory, but they're tiny holes, ones I will easily patch over. Later.

So Logan comes in as rage right? And we'll assume that we've already become aware of Rages presence in Thomas, whether by logan losing his marbles (I think the reason they like the tik tok so much is cause that person hit it on the nose for Logans inner thoughts) because he has been seemingly replaced by Janus or just straight up ignored like in the new vid, hopefully we'll be aware.

So if Logan who I'm just going to call Rage for right now comes in and is like "hello, you miss me?" And then notices this love drunk Thomas, and gets angry because they're paying attention and actually putting what he says into consideration (albeit unhappily) unlike they did with Logan when they would call him names, or ignore him, or skip him. So he gets angry because "Thomas, you keep falling for this same ploy over and over again, why, why do you keep doing this to yourself? Reminding that it is Logan in there, and he might know more than he lets on.

That's all I've got for tonight, anyone wanna add on?

#yall are sleeping on the pink side #pink side ideas #ts janus #janus sanders #janus #sanders sides #sanders sides theory #thomas sanders #ts patton #patton sanders #ts logan #logan sanders #orange side logan #theorys #his name is Eros #and he is based off the greek god #and i love him

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destinychose-a1 · 5 years

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[Hak] A through L! :3c

* valentine’s day alphabet / accepting!

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Hak doesn’t exactly show his affection in obvious ways. More often than not, it comes in the form of carrying something heavy for the person in question, leaping headfirst into danger in order to protect them, bringing them food, sitting quietly by their side when they need company, offering words of encouragement, or ( in Jae-Ha’s case ) engaging in some good-natured roughhousing.

In rare instances, Hak displays moments of gentleness and can sometimes engage in more obvious acts affection — hugs, hair ruffles, kisses pressed to forehead / eyebrows / eyelids / cheeks / nose / chin ( this is typically saved for Yona or anyone he’s developing romantic feelings for ), hand-holding, carefully bandaging a wound, propping the other person up… It’s a list that continues to grow as he also grows and finds himself surrounded by more people that he loves and cares about.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Not particularly. Hak doesn’t dislike flowers, but he doesn’t exactly pay attention to them either beyond thinking they look nice. However, he does find himself drawn to red flowers, as they fondly remind him of a certain Princess.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Hak’s sweet tooth might as well be nonexistent. He’s much more geared towards bitter, sour or spicy savoury food ( he’s very fond of meat in particular ), so to that end he’d probably enjoy dark chocolate if he had to eat any ( the more bitter, the better ), but he tends to avoid the stuff in general terms.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

First things first, Hak is not big on romance, so he has no real clue of what a ‘date’ should even entail, much less what’s considered romantic. His idea of an ideal date ranges from sparring to going out to eat a good meal, naturally with people he cares about or enjoys being around.

Even when taking his feelings for Yona into account, he doesn’t really think about things he’d like to do with her, as he tends to bury everything pretty deep and has convinced himself that his feelings will never be reciprocated/that he’ll never be with her anyway, so what’s the point?

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Up until recently, Hak would never have called himself a hugger. He still isn’t, for all intents and purposes, but he’s certainly more receptive to giving them and receiving them now that he has people around him that he cares about. To Hak, hugs are typically an expression of relief or an attempt to offer comfort in times of pain — they’re brief, one-armed, often accompanied with a firm squeeze, his face hidden away against the other person’s hair or shoulder.

To Hak, hugging is a sign of vulnerability, but he’s starting to get better about showing that side to himself.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Hak is not a flirter and he should never, ever be allowed to. If he’s genuinely attempting to flirt, chances are it’ll fall flat on its face: he’s awkward, stilted, blunt and very rarely strikes the right tone. He’s more likely to insult the person he’s trying to flirt with than charm them.

However, when he doesn’t try, Hak can be pretty masterful with words. Casualness is his best asset, without a doubt.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

At this point, if you expect anything romantically orientated from Hak, you’ll be sorely disappointed, and that, of course, extends to gift-giving. While he tends to understand his companions well enough to know what they like, he’s still fairly stumped when it comes to buying something he thinks they’ll enjoy. Typically, much like with flirting, he’ll accidentally end up insulting the person he’s buying for or strike completely the wrong tone with the gift he buys.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Very slow. Hak doesn’t fall easily and he certainly doesn’t make his feelings very obvious ( or, at least, he likes to think he doesn’t ). While he’s not afraid of falling in love with someone, he is a little reluctant about it — he doesn’t like feeling as though he’s not in control of his actions, or that he’s somehow more vulnerable for loving someone, hence his determination to keep his feelings buried. It takes a lot for him to accept and openly admit to his romantic feelings for another person for those exact reasons.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

It’s not a case of Hak finding it easy or hard to say, but rather that he very rarely sees the need to. To him, actions speak much louder than words ever could, and that’s typically how he prefers to conduct himself. There’s also the fact that he’s content to keep his feelings close to his chest and is often prepared for them to remain unvoiced — so long as the subject of his affections lives safely and happily, his own feelings towards them are inconsequential, and he will always prioritise them over himself.

However, he’s not above being driven to the point of admitting his feelings in a passionate outburst, particularly if it’s grown impossible to ignore.

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Even if he’s aware it’s not entirely a rational thing, Hak does sometimes get jealous. It’s something he’s aware of and working on — jealousy is an ugly feeling, one he doesn’t enjoy experiencing. It often comes from his own insecurities as opposed to distrust in his partner. He won’t ever take his feelings of jealousy out on his partner ( he’s much more likely to talk things through with them, albeit awkwardly and while making it pretty clear that he’s unhappy to be feeling such things in the first place ), but the same cannot be said for a third party, especially if they’re getting a little too close to his partner for comfort.

While he’s not exactly possessive and tends to keep a very strong hold on these kinds of negative feelings, he’s not very good at sharing his partner’s attention is he’s feeling needy.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Surprisingly, despite his inexperience, Hak isn’t half bad when it comes to kissing. He’s an unexpected mix of gentle but passionate, and ( regardless of what canon might have us believe ) he never attempts to force his affections on his partner when they’re unwanted. He’s extremely attentive and aware of them, responding to their reactions ( whether that entails backing off or letting things continue ) with great care and displays great restraint when things start moving too fast before either of them are ready.

He tends to excel at kissing as it doesn’t involve words that can be misconstrued or taken out of context — to Hak, it’ll always be easier to speak without words and convey the true extent of his feelings in this manner.

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

In romantic terms: Yona. There’s little more that can be said beyond that — he has and will continue to do anything in his power to keep her safe, see her smiling and help her grow.

Platonically, he loves Jae-Ha, Kija, Shin-Ah, Yoon and Ao more than life itself. He’d do anything for them without question, much like he would with Yona. They’re his family. Anyone foolish enough to attempt to bring them harm won’t be afforded the luxury of his mercy.

#florabled #⤿ 𝐈𝐍. hak ／ headcanon.#( *turns to look at kw* you did this to me #HAK IS A ROMANTIC DISASTER. MY GOD )

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secretshinigami · 5 years

Text

Masterlist of Demegawa-chan’s Special Prompts

A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from the exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! Prompts are organized by their submitter, so be sure to give credit if you use one.

niatsuki

Near and Light kissing

Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella

Misa in a suit

Domestic Mikalight

Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga

Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones

toygowther

Light wearing a crop top, high waisted jeans and fishnets, and a choker.

L having a nice day out in the park eating ice cream with Maki and Near

Musical!Light smiling

Misa in a cute gothic dress doing a finger heart

L and Light wearing Misa Misa merch at one of her concerts.

AU in which Light is actually a woman. The fic would follow how Misa reacts to it and if she would still want to be her girlfriend.

Role swap au. Light as Misa and Misa as Light.

Light and Misa meeting a different way and actually forming a healthy relationship.

spaceblue

L, Naomi & B shenanigans

Naomi, Wedy and Lidner as Charlie's angels (or L's angels?)

Wammy kids as Pokemon trainers

Matt gets the rest of the Wammy kids to play Smash with him

Naomi and L after the end of LABB, after he says his name is Rue Ryuzaki

Drama!L and drama!Raye Penber bickering

hazblogs

your take on A's gender and sexuality, bonus points if they're not a cis man and straight

Mello and sun imagery

Beyond Birthday and his eyes

Near with Hanahaki disease (pick who it's about if you want a specific ship)

Mello and witchcraft, if possible in the canon universe

Naomi interacting with Beyond (au or canon), if possible talking about L or the Wammy kids

L/Light being soulmates, in canon or in an AU

how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)

polyphenols

L learning to garden, paint, cook, do taxes, care for an animal, or pay for a parking ticket for the first time

All the times L has cursed Right In Front Of The Task Force (poor Soichiro)

L alone, dressed for the cold, in a cathedral during midnight hours, gazing at the altar in silent contemplation

Aiber and Wedy at an evening gala on a mission

L and Alessandro Juliani warmly shaking hands

Young Naomi in a darkened room with red string and case clippings everywhere

What chain of events led to Quillsh Wammy deciding to adopt L and care for him?

Matsuda cant swim and he’s knocked into a body of water on a case, one of the task force has to go after him

The conversation that happened between L and Rem before he walked out onto that rooftop

L traveling somewhere exotic for a case, meets celebrity of your choice and becomes unlikely friends, takes down crime circle together

Naomi and L interact side by side as partners during a seperate case

paralllaxes

16 year old Gevanni (normal day or family banter)

Naomi in modern clothing

the SPK in one of those cheesy family pictures.

Naomi thinking about LABB while in Japan

SPK found family stuff / domesticity

Naomi being with the SPK (with or without Raye is the author's choice)

kiranatrix

Light and L in emo/goth clothes or in an emo band

Light in a crown on a throne

Ryuk doing something funny or playing a prank while invisible

L and Light on a road trip

Misa painting Rem’s looooong nails or giving her a makeover

Death Note characters as birds!

Sayu gets a grumpy parrot and Light doesn’t realize it can talk until after he hears it repeat some Kira plan thing, so he has to adopt it to keep it from spilling on him

L and Light talk about something important that happened to them in their childhood

L has to deal with growing amount of Light’s products in their shared shower and tries some out of curiosity with disasterous results

Light accidentally eats the last piece of cake in Kira HQ and L can’t deal at 4am

Lawlight Apocalypse AU of any variety

Beyond breaks out of prison after LABB, where does he go?

47gaslamps

The task force with portentous umbrellas

Halle, symbolically framed between Near and Mello

Naomi kicking Light's butt after he attempts to use force

Matsuda gives Yamamoto a welcome-aboard to the former Task Force /

AU where the drawer IS forced open

Misa has to shield Light from the paparazzi

translightyagami

Light and L in a crowded apartment, obviously lived in, playing piano next to each other

Light sewing something like his father's suit jacket or a shirt Mikami tore

Indulgent ask for my cryptid AU L and Light sitting in a graveyard having a nice time

Light having a smoke before he has to go tell his parents he's moving in with Misa

Light and Sayu having a difficult conversation where they're both saying they're gay without out loud saying it

Near goes to a Lego building event and meets a nice boy who isn't a Wammy kid

almostsane-things

Wammy's kid(s) of your choice sitting on the roof, watching the sky

Beyond Birthday and Candy Guro

DN characters in a rock band, maybe the shinigami are their mascots

Draw a less appreciated character but try something new with your style/medium. (i.e. use different brushes, incorporate a traditional art/craft like painting or cross-stitch, make a collage piece, go abstract, etc)

L in prison

Misa and Sayu becoming friends/ hanging out

The legend of Kira, how has the story of Kira changed over time in universe? Do people believe it was something supernatural, a government conspiracy, a group of vigilantes, or perhaps it's faded to nothing but a cautionary tale for misbehaving kids

A DN character enjoys that thing you really like/ find interesting to learn about, and shares that interest with someone else. (i.e. Matt plays your favorite video game with someone, Linda teaches someone about gardening, etc)

weneedtotalkaboutdeathnote

A hot double date with BBxDemegawa and LxHiguchi

B meeting L (any context is fine).

Naomi and Raye getting coffee together, having a nice time.

L can see ghosts, but he chooses to ignore them. This becomes increasingly had to do when B’s spirit shows up during the Kira investigation.

An Au where L defeated Kira, grew older, and basically disappeared. Older Mello (mid 20sish, now a detective) follows a lead that takes him to the washed up L.

Non serial killer, "Unprivate Detective" Beyond Birthday works on a case with Naomi Misora.

pensulliwen

Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.

Rem holding Misa as they fly over the city.

Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.

Misa convincing Rem to take her flying, the feelings they both experience in the air together.

Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well.

Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended.

izaori

Demegawa in a hot tub but instead of water its money

Mello playing soccer with the other kids (like Matt for example).

Matsuda playing cookie clicker, because he's obsessed.

Young Demegawa when he first got his job, maybe a few months into the job.

Sayu studying for her big exam coming up so she goes to big bro Light for help.

Ryuk discovers sour green apples rather than just the red ones. Maybe Sidoh discovers dark chocolate/white chocolate at the same time.

mikami

High school age Mikami in a high school uniform.

MikaLight out on a date

anything L/Higuchi

A Sakura TV Documentary about the Kiras.

MikaLight office romance, non-Kira AU.

Write me a fic about Demegawa. Can definitely be comedy, but please take the character somewhat seriously.

ghostoftasslehoff

L and Light playing piano together.

L with a kitty

Sayu and ‘Ryuzaki’ meeting, and hitting it off

Matsuda recieving a present or something from a ‘secret admirer’

A day in the life of Matsuda (away from the task force)

L and B’s first meeting (can be shippy or not, whichever my Shinigami prefers)

L tries to engage in punnery with the task force, but only one person engages (preference for Light, but surprise me!)

Sayu’s (or Sachiko’s) thoughts on Light’s new secretive actions as Kira becomes more and more active

tzigi

(All canon-compliant)

L gets first suspicions about a string of heart attacks which may be a new murder case for him

Light’s first day at To-Oh after L’s death

Light’s first day of work at the NPA

Near tries to pick up L’s investigation

Why did Near go back to L’s original font for the “L” logo between chapter 108 and the C-Kira oneshot?

A non-Lawlight rendering of the first evening of Light being chained to L after everyone else has already gone to sleep (preferably in keeping with the One Day one-shot)

Light begging Ryuk for his life

Light’s funeral

catfishmaster

The main characters (plus B) as DND characters

Older Near (like 25-30) with a bunch of cats he keeps for company

Roger bonding with Near after the Kira case.

Beyond Birthday faked his death in 2004 and now lives alone as a poor and pretty miserable theatre actor with a fake name. Oh, and also it's a Kira wins au.

Years after the Kira case has concluded, L takes on Near as an apprentice.

Matt takes Near on a tour of an afterlife-like world they both wound up in. It's more like a dreamscape than anything else but it serves as an afterlife.

#prompt list #death note #deathnote #Demegawa-chan's Sakura TV Special 2019

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icecreambat · 7 years

Text

Story time: Dating everyone in P5 turned Joker into a sociopath

The first time I ended up dating more than one girl in a Persona game, it was an honest accident. I’d already imprinted on Chie in Persona 4, and had no idea comforting Yukiko during her social link would turn me into a two-timing douche. A quick save-state reload rectified this mistake, but it taught me an important lesson: in Persona games, monogamy is not the limit of your teenage life.

As Persona 5 rolled around, I grew fond of Makoto on my first playthrough. With her on my side I experienced the Phantom Thief thrill ride, maxing my social links while gently turning other girls down. It wasn’t until the NewGame+ that I wondered: wouldn’t it be interesting to try the multi-dating thing? That way I could fast-forward all romance scenarios and not watch them on Youtube later like a loser, duh. If this game was intentionally giving me the opportunity to be Tokyo’s biggest Don Juan, then by Mona, I’d do it!

Little did I know, though, that as I embarked on a quest to bag all the single ladies* the whole atmosphere of the game changed. What had been a more or less generic adventure about truth and justice took on some… rather disturbing undertones, ones that went beyond the actual dating scenarios. In fact, the game turned out to be such an interesting social experiment that I wanted to write about it, so here I am. So, this is a recap of how dating multiple people in Persona 5 turned my Joker into a sociopath.

* except for Makoto, because a) I already romanced her before and b)…. it didn’t feel right, her being my first and all. SO SUE ME I’M A LOSER AFTER ALL

So. Here we are again, moving to Tokyo, whoop de doo. NewGame+ means not having to waste days on working out the ropes, so you can focus on the stuff that matters: getting as overpowered as you can in the least amount of time possible. For me, this meant maxing out Kawakami’s social link as fast as I could, because her bonuses are pretty swank – I really could have used the post-Mementos or post-palace massages during my first playthrough too, but kinda forgot about her right after Operation Maidwatch. Well, no more! I was bringing that teacher home left and right at every possible instance, so obviously I ended up maxing her link first. Ergo, we entered a relationship.

I’m not gonna lie: the Kawakami romance is some weird (and arguably illegal) shit. Maybe that kinda set the tone of this adventure from the start, giving me an mc who was 100% ok with romancing his homeroom teacher slash part time maid. Uh… huh. Given that my suspension of disbelief went out of the window right about there, it was easy to pick the “omg i totally like, care about you and stuff” dialogue options that went with it; I mean, I was doing this for science and stuff, no big deal.

That’s why it surprised me that when it was time to romance the next (un)lucky girl, I felt like shit about it. Not because of Kawakami, but because Ann wasn’t some ludicrous dating option pulled out of the “lol what if we let the players date everyone!!” shitpost book. Instead, Ann and the mc had already been through Some Shit together, best friend suicide attempts and sexually abusive PE teachers included, and she was a teenage girl looking for her place in the world. So when Ann confided in me about her feelings and told the mc she loved him, “returning” her feelings –while knowing I was already dating my…. uhh, homeroom teacher slash part time maid– genuinely made me feel like the absolute scum of the earth.

“I can’t do this,” I thought at this point, “Even if these are fictional characters in a fictional game, I feel like shit lying to these girls that I care about them, because obviously that’s not true if I’m so callously dating someone else behind their back. How can people do that in real life if I can’t even do it in a video game? Oh, naïve me! Because my lesson in the callousness of man had only just begun.

Anyway, so. Here I am, dating Kawakami and Ann. I think I figured that lying to my teammates didn’t Feel Very Good so headlining for randos seemed like the better choice to make next: Ohya the reporter ended up being the third girl I romanced, and it was relieving she seemed to understand the unlikely nature of our relationship. “I get that we probably won’t stay together forever,” she was telling me, almost like she knew she was only the third wheel in my extended trailer truck, headed to nowhere fast; the same kinda goes for Tae, the punk rock doctor, whose reservedness somehow made it easier to ignore the serial cheater vibes in the dynamic.

Chihaya, on the other hand, was different. Seemingly a little younger than the other grown-ups, she was already a lot more straightforward about her interest in the mc, and harbored all sorts of weird fantasies about them staying together forever. Which is exactly what I told her would happen. Not! Funny that for a fortune teller she couldn’t see I was also spouting this same shit to four other girls, huh? Chihaya reminded me of Ann, in a way, which is why the Bad Feels actually started to resurface here – it’s one thing to lie boldly in the face of girls (women) who aren’t really that invested in you to begin with, but when it’s people who actually believe said lies… well.

Now, I know, I know. There’s no actual reason to feel guilty, because these choices don’t affect the gameplay in any way. Whether or not the mc is an asshole in some ways will still result in everyone loving the shit out of him, and being sad when he leaves. Sure, there’s the scene after Valentine’s Day where you get beat up for being a cheater and the girls kind of call him out on it, but that’s about it; this isn’t Mass Effect, you can’t go full renegade, etc. etc. But even if the game barely acknowledges the clear disparity in the mc’s words and actions, it’s really hard to overlook as the player, and as I said, it kinda changes the tone of the whole game.

You see, during the course of the story the mc ends up establishing a whole bunch of social links: Ryuji, Yusuke, Mishima and even Sojiro are but few of the guys you end up making heartfelt bonds with too. Only problem is, once you go the Lie Route with the girls, the mc hardly comes across as any more honest with the guys – and this is what really puts a spin on his reliability. Everyone’s always going on about what a great guy he is, but none of them know what a quadruple-timing, lying asshole he is at the same time. And why would they? All he does is tell people what they want to hear!

Apparently the devs of Dream Daddy wanted to challenge the notion that this kind of behaviour automatically leads to “good endings” in visual novels, because it only makes the mc seem a little sociopathic. Sure enough, that’s exactly the word I would use to describe how my mc started to come across in all his social interactions in P5. Well, not all, actually; there was one character whose exchanges with the mc came across as genuine even when virtually nothing else did. Yeah, you guessed it: Akechi.

I’m taking a brief interlude here to talk about Akechi, because my social experiment with the mc’s romances actually ended up underlining how similar he and Akechi are as people. It’s what the game hints at continuously with the whole ~two sides of the same coin stuff anyway, but the point really gets hammered home when you repeatedly watch the mc fake his way through life just like Akechi puts on his own double persona (pun not intended). In that sense, it’s only natural that the two would recognize each other as equals, and that their interactions ring more sincere than any other discussion they have in the game.

But back to serial dating, if you will. After Chihaya, I started dating Hifumi the shogi girl, but to be completely honest I sort of mentally fazed her out; with every new girl I tricked into dating me, the initial unease seemed to diminish until I couldn’t remember what had made me feel so disgusted in the first place. I mean, I was already lying to so many people, what did it matter if I lied to one more, right? It’s not like I actually hung out with anyone ever again after I “entered a relationship” with them, and it’s not like my actions carried over to pre-scripted cutscenes, so who cares, right? Nobody (well, apart from a physical game engine) was forcing these girls to believe my bullshit, so really, the fault was theirs for being so gullible, right!!11

…Well, I might have been able to go along with that type of douchebag logic if I’d only kept dating randos. Since I skipped Makoto, the next girl I got cozy with was Futaba… and this is where the skeezy-ville started to nag on my consciousness again, because like with Ann, you know that Futaba’s been through A Lot: she basically spent the past couple of years as a hikikomori, convinced that her mother committed suicide because of her. Trust is a really big thing for her, so throwing a cheating mc into that equation gets really ugly when you think about how he gains that trust just to betray it. When you add in Sojiro, you’re essentially screwing both of them over while pretending to be a happy little family. If you take these events at face value, it kinda makes you wonder: seriously dude, what on earth is your damage?!

If that wasn’t disturbing enough, we finish with Haru. She is also running from one abuser but, if dating a cheating mc, kind of ends up in the arms of another. Although she enters the story fairly late in the game, it’s no less shitty to listen to her be so grateful for your “support”, knowing you’ve sat through variations of this scene with half a dozen other girls already. I just kind of kept staring at the mc’s poker face (pun not intended, again) while wondering how much worse it seems that none of these choices affect anything tangible in the game, even when the whole theme is helping other people (and shitty authority figures, sure, but mainly helping people).

And you know, it’s really that endless poker face that gives the whole thing such a weird ass vibe: this is a 17-year-old kid who’s moved to Tokyo for a year, and ends up constructing a meticulously crafted fake personality that has everyone treating him like the greatest guy on earth. If you perceive this as the intended story (as opposed to the mismatch of a fixed script and optional gameplay choices that it actually is), Persona 5 suddenly becomes a story much darker than its original premise. Who is the real mc, and why is he doing any of this? What is his actual sense of truth and justice, if he spins it so grotesquely to suit his given situation? How troubled does he have to be for this kind of behaviour to emerge, and what caused it?

I know getting busted on Valentine’s Day is played mainly for laughs, but when you put all this together it’s obvious just getting dumped doesn’t even begin to cover the actual consequences of the mc’s actions should have. For the 100% fake personality he’s clearly constructed up until this point, how anyone can still follow him into the depths of Mementos is beyond me. But hey, I know we’re not operating on earth logic here.

Still, as I mentioned, this levels the mc with Akechi a lot – suddenly it’s very hard to condemn Akechi, even in theory, for the route he ended up taking in life, because isn’t the mc basically doing the same thing? Taking advantage of as many people he can to advance his own ends, with the only difference that he ended up on the winning side? Not only that, but it makes it harder to root for the “good guys”, knowing that you’re not a good guy – you’re just some guy with a big enough charm stat to make people follow your fake ideals, whatever those might in reality be.

Personally, I was also surprised at how easy it was to go from “this is horrible I hate this I can’t lie to these girls” to the “eh whatever, I’ve done this long enough that I’ve distanced myself from giving a shit”, then back to “oh shit oh shit this is so wrong” over the course of a single game. I know this sounds like a hyperbole, but in that sense I’m… actually not that surprised at how people find themselves ignoring those same patterns in real life. Which is why it’s so disheartening there’s only one scene dedicated to the consequences; it would be so interesting if there was something more tangible to remind the player that yeah, you’re entitled to picking these options, but it does turn the mc into someone pretty damn messed up.

I mean, damn – by December I’d maxed out all my social links, and suddenly had shit all to do, and because I couldn’t sit through a single fake date with one of my fake ass girlfriends again, I ended up making my mc train every day and night just so I had something to occupy my time between going out and murdering things in Mementos and/or a palace. Watching him do shirtless pull-ups in his room I sorta realized: Oh my god, I turned my mc into a high school version of Patrick Bateman. This game sure took a turn.

So I suppose the point of this story time is that while dating anyone in P5 (and most Persona games, I’d assume) is ultimately only a gameplay element meant for the player’s extra entertainment, sometimes those seemingly superfluous gameplay elements can turn into unintentional story elements – in this case, an experiment of how easily lying to one person turns into lying to everyone, and how sometimes it’s not that easy to tell at what point you stop being genuine at all. Wow, them video games, huh? Always a source of profound inspiration.... or something.

#persona 5 #idk what to tag this #maybe i'll add a new category for my rantings #and call it #story time #ok for the sake of archiving i'll also add #meta

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tumblunni · 7 years

Text

Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!

#i wanna draw quina and arno meeting each other #tho the protag in corlal's game is a chef so it could be hilarious if theyre like 'mom what happened to your face'#and then protag and quina have a giant death spoons duel

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v3-killing-harmony-imagines · 8 years

Text

Valentines day with the v3 cast!

lets just ignore the fact that its march whoops

Also this took be 3 hours to type ugh

Saihara:

he buys you flowers, chocolates and a stuffed bear

he spend the entire day with you, doing everything you ask

he’s very flustered the whole day, complimenting you every chance he can get

No!hat!

he takes you out to a restaurant for dinner

he insists that you get anything you want, he’ll pay for it all!

he gives you a very fancy necklace at the end of the night

cute bushy kisses afterwards

you decide how long it lasts ^

Kaede

she’s pretty new to this, so she does the basics, chocolates and flowers

She invites you to stay the night!

so you two are in your pj’s when she offers to get you something to drink

about a minute late you hear the sound of a cup smashing

you rush down and she’s standing beside a broken mug, the contents spilled over the floor

she starts apologizing, she lost her balance and then her hand slipped and then-

you calm her down and help her clean up, insisting that its fine! It happens!

she plays the piano afterwards, to calm you two down

She shyly kisses you before you two go to sleep

she’s curled against you when you wake up

Kaito:

He takes you to one of those science center things that has stuff about

he’s so excited to show you everything !

you better have lots of energy, he’s not leaving for at least 3 hours

he buys you a necklace as well

you two take the bus home, your head on his shoulder

its so warm, and he gives you his jacket for protection

afterwards you two go home and end up ordering take-out

he buys you a heart necklace

it has glitter in it, making it look like your looking into the milky-way.

You two crash when you get home, exhausted

he curls you in his arms,planting a kiss on your head

Happy valentines.

Maki:

She isn’t quite sure what to do today

she lets you decide, shes happy as long as your happy

you eventually decide for a walk by the lake, and dinner

She gives you a bouquet of flowers; they’re roses

She flushes when you ask her to hold hands

you two cook dinner together

the entire experience is very normal, but it’s lovely all the same

She reminds you that she loves you at the end of the day, placing a kiss on your lips

Korekiyo:

He tells you to close your eyes

he drives you to a building

when you open your eyes again, he’s dressed up and your in a candle-lit room.

he shows you to your seat, across from him.

and then the food starts to come

course upon course of fine dishes, and they don’t stop coming

after you two have eaten, he takes your hand and you two dance.

he tells you how radiant you look

your swinging in his arms, as the last note plays out he finally gets down to the main course

getting on his knee

“S/o, You are the most divine creature I have set eyes on, will you make allow me the honor to marry you?”

Iruma:

.......

WeLL

you wont get this unless SOMEONE ASKS

VERY KINKY

ROPES AND TOYS INCLUDED

on the other hand, she’d give you a nice choker as a gift

Gonta:

wants to make you very happy today

so you come home...

“Ah! S/o! close your eyes!”

He leads you upstairs and tells you to open your eyes

surprise!

there’s a blanket spread out on the floor, lots of pillows, a wrapped present and.... is that a scrapbook?

yes, yes it is

you two make a scrapbook about you two, gotna’s prepared refreshments and offers a movie if you get bored!

its very fun!

he makes you open the gift, its a small pin of a butterfly.

you thank him with a gentle kiss

Himoko:

She puts weeks into her plan

finally the day comes

the sits you down, making sure your very comfy

and then the show begins

BAM

streamers fly and glitter flies through the air as banners fall into place

and the show begins

she’s moving everywhere, pulling a dove from her hat and then turning it into a flower and then the flower is flying in the air..

so much is happening, and its breathtaking

at the very end, she walks over to you and takes out a box

she wishes you a happy valentines day, before collapsing, exhausted

after she rests, she asks if you liked it

you kiss her on the forehead

“ It was splendid.”

Hoshi:

if you want to, he’d let you decide what to do

drive-in movie? drive-in movie

he gets you popcorn and soda and you two relax

romance movies are too cheesy

so you two are watching some horror film

you’ve got your shirt pulled up past your nose when the jump scare happens

you just weren't expecting him to scream that high

in actuality, its a normal scream, but for his vocal cords its high

you two make eye contact for one second

and then you cant hold in your laughter, popcorn is going everywhere but that doesn’t matter.

you have to cheer him up afterwards

you don’t ever let him fully live it down

Angie:

shes so excited!

she paints you a special picture to show her love

she’ll even make a statue of you if she gets the chance!

lots and lots of kisses today

she’d be so happy if you two made dinner together

there’s avocados

she almost goes through he roof when you get her something

shes!just!so!happy!

get ready for another round of kisses

Kiibo:

KIIBO HAS READ ALL ABOUT HIS AND HAS WATCHED LOTS OF ROMANCE MOVIES AND THEREFORE HE IS CONFIDENT TO TAKE YOU OUT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME unlike before

he’s shows up to escort you two, dressed as well as a robot can be

he’s constantly blushing the same color so when you gently take his hand your afraid that he’s going to overheat

the date goes well! And the food is really good!

so you two return home..

he tells you to go look in your bedroom

.........

kiibo whAT

THERE’S HONESTLY NO ROOM, JUST PRESENTS

HOW DID YOU GET THESE IN HERE WHAT

he explains that he couldn't decide what gift to get...

so he got them all

good luck eating all that, s/o

Tenko:

what of course Tenko has a plan, she’s a responsible woman who knows how to treat her s/o right

internally, shes p a n i c k i n g

what if you don’t like her gift? what if you hate her afterwards?

she so scared that she wakes up early because of nerves

she’s pacing the kitchen floor by the time you come down

“Tenko, its 4 in the morn-”

“AHH! H-HI THERE S/O I KNEW YOU WERE THERE DON’T WORRY I HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT FOR YOU AND I WOULD LIKE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU COULD TAKE IT BUT ITS OK IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT TENKO IS OK WITH THAT-”

poor girl

she finally gives you the present, a cute little charm with a tiny bell on it

she’s stuttering about how it will match the one she has so you and her could be a matching couple

but onLY IF YOUR OK WITH IT< ITS FINE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO

you tell her its perfect

she blushes and says her thanks, placing kiss on your lips

Rantaro:

he’s been disappearing the past week for a couple of hours

you don’t really confront it because honestly your intrested on what he’s going to do.

so finally valentines day is here...

Amami doesn't mention anything all day, he gives you a present but thats at

and then you two head out for dinner.

And then you get a look at the place

lanterns, fine table cloths, waiters and people ready at your every comand

its like you two are royalty

the food is divine and there’s live music and everything is in a deep red color which just makes you fall deeper and deeper in love withe the boy

whe you two are alone, he cradles your face and slowly kisses you, wraping his hands in your hair, by your waist, pressing closer and closer to you

its up to you what happens next ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

happy valentines day s/o ;)

Tojo:

you decide to do all the cleaning, and cooking for the day!

she gives you a kiss of thanks when returns home

you offer her a bath and she graciously accepts

she tells you to join her, and who are you to deny her?

So your sitting naked with your lover also naked now

she’s 100% calm

internally she’s panicking

You wash eachother’s hair and wait until the water gets cold to get out

you have her cosy pj’s laid out for her! new ones!

you serve dinner and force her to sit still because she will get up if you don’t keep your eye on her

and then she brings up that she bought a pet...

she what

SHE WHAT

THE TOJO KIRUIMI HAS GOTTEN YOU A PET

he did not

oh my goD SHE DID YES SHE DID

ITS A BUNNY AND IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HER

IT’S SO CUTE SHE EVEN BOUGHT IT A RIBBON

lots of kisses for her!

she explains that while they do shead, at least it can be kept in a certin area

and its like you two are parents now!

you thank her sosoosos much

happy valentines day!

Ouma:

oh no

oh no no no

don't get me started

he’ll pretend he doesn’t know what day it is, the majority of the day is him complaining on why theres more couples outside than usual

your about to think that he forgot about it completely when he takes you out

your blindfolded, and are just relying on him to guide you

you get there in one piece thankfully

you and him are watching a movie, in his.. private? living room?

he’s got everything you could possibly need, chips, cookies etc.

so when the movie ends, its dead silent

and then he slithers behind you, whispering in your ear

you two have been together for some time now...

so now might be a nice chance to start.... doing it

he of course is stuttering slightly and is clutching onto to tightly

so... when you say yes....

he laughs, and carries into the other room

no one is going to bed early tonight

Shirogane:

she makes special clothes for you two! its a special day !

sweet walks in the park, and nice dinners at the local resturant, you two make the very best of the day

you and her go shopping and critique a movie, and go feed birds

all in one day!

so when you get home your wiped

the bed is oh-so soft and fuzzy

your about to drift off to sleep when you hear her clear her throat

you give a tired glance in her direction and bolt right up

shes in loungerie

she made it herself

you’re babbling and she’s blushing from head to toe

and now you can see very curve of her body, every hair that stands on end

and hell if she doesn’t look stunning

she explains that she doesn't intend to do anything explicit... she just wanted to surprise you

well you’re definitely surprised

you sleep close to her, for warmth as exhaustion takes over

happy valentines!

445 notes · View notes

spaceorphan18 · 8 years

Text

Finding Kurt Hummel: The Break-Up

Masterpost

4x04: The Break-Up

Alright - time to rip off the Band-Aid. It’s been four and a half years, and I think that’s been ample enough time to revisit this episode with a clear head and an open mind.

This episode, though, man. It split an already fracturing fandom in half, and it really never recovered. And I think stories about fandom and what went on at the time really out does the story here itself.

I will say, though as an aside, that season 4 was meant to be a new and fresh series -- the introduction of the Newbies symbolizes that. The whole idea of makeovers symbolizes that. And hitting the self-destruct button on all the popular couples was a symbol of that. From what I can tell, the writers wanted a fresh start with season 4.

And while I like season 4 (more than season 3), and while I think that Klaine needed some actual story, I don’t think the mentality that the show needed to start over was the best one for the longevity of the show. However, there’s another time and place for that discussion. I’m mainly focusing on the story itself here.

Anyway, it’s funny to me -- that there really isn’t /that/ much Klaine in this episode. Just enough to do the damage it did, and shake up the the couple -- who never really fully come back together until the end of the series. It’s a fascinating and frustrating arc - and here we go.....

Some Introductory Notes

Before we get into the Kurt stuff -- something I need to add.

The paralleling of Finchel. One thing that does outright frustrate me is that Klaine doesn’t get to be their own story. No, Finchel and Klaine have very different things going on within their relationships, I get that. But the thing is -- Finchel gets meatier things to do. I understand that they’re the A-Couple, and that the show wants to do more with them, therefore they get better development. But selfishly, as a Klainer, throughout the season it’s difficult seeing Finn and Rachel get developed conversations while Kurt and Blaine get a watered down version of a similar thing. But more than that -- this is one time I wish Glee wasn’t so hell bent on paralleling all their stories -- because everyone’s stories work better on their own, not being tied to someone else’s.

I would say Brittana had it easier being a more individual story, but they were neglected for a long, long time after this, so you know, issues everywhere, lol.

Brunch

Before we jump to Kurt -- Blaine and Brittany are lamenting about their relationships in the opening sequence. Blaine talks about remembering when every day felt like Valentine’s Day. And that’s where I think that both Kurt and Blaine fail a little bit. Relationships are not always going to feel like Valentine’s Day. Sometimes they’ll be hard. A lot of times not. But sometimes yes. And this reliance on how everything is perfect -- how everything is their storybook romance -- is what does them both in. It doesn’t allow for either of them to make mistakes.

We open Kurt’s story with him cooking breakfast -- and is in a relatively good mood. Oh, bb, the fact that you are so unaware of what’s going to happen in the next few days makes this even more heartbreaking.

I need to note that Kurt wore earplugs to bed -- as he did probably did in high school cause he did not want or need to hear any of /that/.

But anyway -- Kurt senses there’s some major drama about to happen in Finchel land, and he has no desire to be any part of that. He’s gonna go sneak off to the park and watch drug deals, lol.

BTW - during the next Brittana scene, there’s some Kurt shade, as Santana talks about how improbable it was for Kurt to get the internship. The show knows, sometimes, when it’s being ridiculous. And as I said in the previous episode, it’s not about realism. It’s about the character story.

Call Waiting

While Kurt’s gonna somewhat fuck this moment up -- I’d like to point out that he’s the one who called Blaine. Also - Blaine’s pic of Kurt is Kurt’s student election campaign poster.

Alright - so this one little scene has a lot packed into it.

First of all -- you can tell they’re at least trying. They have phone dates, that I assume they both set up. But I’m guessing that Kurt -- being caught up with this crazy new job, and having to take care of phones for Vogue.com, probably is keeping him understandably busy.

Yes. This scene points out that going out in the real world after high school is different. You have more responsibilities. And things that were important in high school seem smaller when you go off to college.

Blaine, however, is still a year behind, and still in that world that Kurt left. And Blaine is not handling things well on his own. As he says often -- he’s a bit lost, and unsure what to do on his own. But this is also where the fear of losing Kurt comes to head. Blaine’s insecurities and self-doubt are all rolled into one, and couple that with Kurt being carried away with this new life brings Blaine to the (incorrect) conclusion that Kurt doesn’t need (or want) him anymore. And that his relationship is done.

Kurt misses Blaine. There’s a lot in his facial expressions that show he really does. When Blaine lists off all the things he misses doing with Kurt (note - the implication that they both miss the emotional and physical parts of their relationship (my god, they’re allowed to mention they have sex)) Kurt is right there with him, frustrated by the situation, too.

But I think the thing that is somewhat missed during these break-up discussions is that Kurt isn’t exactly handling all of this well either. Kurt trying to express to Blaine that with the absence of NYADA he has to find some direction, and Vogue.com might be that opportunity that he shouldn’t miss, isn’t exactly the easiest conversation. (Not to mention that Kurt doesn’t seem to do well in general when Blaine gets overly clingy.)

Also - Blaine’s looking for some kind of comfort, and instead Kurt’s hanging up on him to get the latest gossip from Joan Didion. Not cool, Kurt.

But -- as I’m sure I’m being a broken record -- neither is dealing with this long distance stress well. Blaine is under the impression that the worst has happened, Kurt has forgotten about him, and his relationship is over. Meanwhile, Kurt is ignoring the issues as much as possible, believing these things will all magically work out. Nope to both.

Also - Blaine’s ILU as Kurt hangs up. Ouch.

Haunted

Alright - so this is the part that’s hard for me to untangle because we’re in Blaine’s brain here -- and I’m not always the best a figuring his head out.

Blaine’s singing this duet with Finn -- and it’s about the two of them feeling out of place and out of sync with their significant other. And Blaine’s haunted by the Kurt he sees in his head - this vision of Kurt from when they first met (Vision Kurt is wearing the same outfit from Never Been Kissed). There was a time, in Blaine’s head, when everything was perfect and man he’d like to go back to that time so he can feel okay.

But interestingly, Vision Kurt is season 4 Kurt, too. A Kurt who has changed, and is not the same person that Blaine used to know. He’s almost this foreign entity that seems like he’s judging Blaine.

So, here’s my interpretation (which Blaine stans can correct me on if I’m totally off). Through the circumstances of his life and his type of personality, Blaine craves emotional validation and is the type of person who needs to be told (and told again) that he’s valuable and needed and wanted and worth being with, etc. And Kurt used to feed that emotional neediness on a regular basis when it was the two of them and they did everything together.

Now that Kurt’s gone, Blaine is not getting that reassurance on a regular basis and because of that he feels lost. He tries reach out to Kurt (as shown at the beginning of the sequence) but Kurt’s not there. So Blaine decides to take the easy path (the dark side!!) and find someone who will quickly fill that validation. And this is where Eli C and the cheating comes in. Maybe if he can find that intimacy with someone else he’ll be able to feel better -- and it will help take away the sting of feeling left behind by Kurt.

It’s also a rash decision, btw, one where Blaine clearly didn’t think it all the way through. Because it’s really going to blow up in his face. But -- here’s my thing, there are a lot of things that go into this, and it’s even more complicated, I think, than I’m giving it credit for. But I’m going to move on and get back to Kurt, since it is my Kurt meta. I’m hoping that when I do the podcast, lots of smart Blaine fans will help me untangle this further.

Callbacks

So, I guess Kurt decided it was fine to go play third wheel with Finn and Rachel, lol? But anyway - Kurt’s getting all dressed up to go sing at a bar. I don’t know much about clothing meta, but I’m sure someone can discuss the purpose of black and red in the wardrobe. Not to mention, I read something about the usage of mirrors in this episode, but I don’t remember what.

I will say -- I never thought about the name Callbacks before, but I think it’s intentional - not just because of the connotation to the theater world, but because this is a callback to the good ole days for Finchel and Klaine. And yet, it’s not the good ole days anymore.

This is totally the face of someone who is unhappy their boyfriend showed up unexpectedly. (Actually - the longer I stare at it, the creepier it gets, lol)

Also - remember that meme of people who bring foliage to the loft means bad things? Blaine brings roses -- this is not going to be good.

I don’t know what’s with me and taking ridiculous screencaps. But I love Kurt hiding behind his flowers. (He’s actually smelling them.)

But man - I mean, best night ever, right? His boyfriend is there unexpectedly. (And they share a kiss -- why does stupid Rachel have to interrupt that?) His brother is there. They’re gonna go singing. Best night ever, right?

They go to Callbacks, which is so, so pretty. I love all the Christmas lights.

And, oh Kurt. He really just doesn’t get it. He’s happy Blaine’s there and they can start making their New York memories. He does see that Blaine’s sad -- he’s obviously but not blind. But he has no idea that Blaine’s been struggling to the extent that he’s been struggling. Kind of like in Dance With Somebody. Kurt sometimes doesn’t get it until Blaine spells it out for him.

And I would like to state right here that while I do think its both of their issues that lead to this break up, while I do think Kurt was (unintentionally) being neglectful of his relationship -- as Blaine says himself in DWS -- ‘talk to me, tell me you’re unhappy, but don’t cheat on me.’ And I didn’t bring that up to throw back in Blaine’s face (I kind of hated that when people did that) - it’s more of -- this is a lot more difficult when you’re on the other side of the fence.

And these two have always had issues with communication. Tell each other your feelings you stupid boys!!!

Oh Kurt -- you’re just in such a happy place before all this goes down.

Blaine, as he sits down at the piano, says he’s going to sing a song -- the same song he sang when he first met the love of his life. A song that has become very much their song, and is representative of this fairy tale romance they have going. And look at Kurt’s face -- he’s over-joyous that Blaine’s singing this song. He loves this. He loves that it’s supposed to be a romantic overture yet again.

There’s a lot of love and reflection on Kurt’s face as Blaine starts singing.

And this might be a good place to talk about a misstep Kurt has within his relationship. Blaine has been all these wonderful things for Kurt. His prince, his knight, his first kiss, his first love. They’ve shared so, so many intimate moments together. But -- Kurt sometimes has trouble seeing Blaine as a real boy -- one who isn’t perfect, who won’t just wait around for him when Kurt needs him, who has troubles and issues and is going through something a bit bigger than Kurt understands.

But this song -- this break down that Blaine has is the first time Kurt really, really gets to see first hand that his relationship is not fairy tale perfect. The illusion is coming apart.

This scene, this rendition of Teenage Dream, is one of the most powerful and heartbreaking scenes in the entire show. (I mean, Kudos to Darren Criss for this -- I think it’s one of his best acted scenes in the show.) It’s ironic in so many ways, as the performance just goes off the rails. It’s fascinating how Blaine just breaks down -- he is no Disney prince here. He’s a slobbering mess, rushing through the whole thing because it’s all too painful. And man, how many of these lines are just plain ironic now?

And the longer it goes on, the more Kurt knows that things are wrong, that something is terribly, utterly wrong, though there’s confusion in his expressions as well. What the fuck happened? He doesn’t know. But this isn’t the Blaine he’s used to. And he doesn’t really know what is going on.

Not Really a Walk in the Park

You guys remember when this scene was filmed, and there were people who witnessed it first hand (why did they shoot this in public?) and that was a sucky night for fandom? At least Chris and Darren seemed to have fun, lol.

Anyway -- I need to bring up American Horror Story for a second. Why? Because at the time Ryan Murphy was writing the first season of that. And in that season, at the beginning, the husband cheats on the wife, and the scene where the wife confronts the husband is almost exactly verbatim this next Klaine scene. It, like, freaked me out when I watched it -- and then I checked the dates and that AHS episode was written before this.

This whole cheating thing is a trope that Ryan Murphy goes back to again, and again. I don’t know why. But I feel like that framework should be kept in mind when discussing RM’s projects. I can’t not look at it in that light. And while we can talk about legit reasons as to why Blaine decided to cheat -- I feel like it can’t be stressed enough that this is also a trope that’s indicative of Ryan Murphy -- and that he has a tendency to write all his couples this way. And that cheating in RM’s world is somewhat a different thing than cheating in the real world.

But on the bright side, that AHS couple worked it out in the end. And so will Klaine.

Getting back to the scene....

When we start out, there’s a physical distance between the two of them. They’re not holding hands, Blaine has his hands in his pockets. Kurt’s unsure how to act. I’m guessing this relationship has never felt this awkward for either of them. And Kurt can’t avoid the inevitable forever -- so addresses the subject straight on.

Kurt’s so nervous as he asks Blaine what’s going on. He can feel it, feel that this is not going to be a fun conversation.

And then Blaine says he was with someone - and the bottom just drops out completely. Because out of all the things he was worried about -- Kurt probably never thought that Blaine would say that.

Oh man, do these two know how to hurt each other in the worst ways.

To Blaine, removing the emotional intimacy has been the worst. But to Kurt -- removing physical intimacy has always brought about his insecurities. As we’ve often talked about, touch is a huge thing to Kurt. He doesn’t let anyone in, he doesn’t let just anyone touch him. And here’s this boy who Kurt’s let in, and having that connection, not just that emotional connection but the physical connection - where sex and love are intertwined and where Blaine being close to him was not only Kurt’s way of knowing he was valuable but Kurt showing how vulnerable he can be, of letting Blaine into his heart, is incredibly important.

And here Blaine says that no only has he had that physical intimacy with someone else, but he shared something Kurt considers sacred with a person who doesn’t really matter. (Kurt is first fearful that it was Sebastian -- someone who has always brought about Kurt’s insecurities. But having it be someone faceless. Someone who doesn’t ultimately matter is almost worse.)

And this just shatters Kurt. The person he thought he loved and knew more than anyone else in the world, he doesn’t know any more. Because never in a million years did he ever think Blaine could hurt him so deeply.

The temptations line by Kurt is really interesting here. Did have Kurt have other people hitting on him? Maybe? Maybe not. But this goes to Kurt believing that his relationship would be fine without tending to it. Kurt’s fine with commitment. There could be one guy, there could be fifty. He loves Blaine, he’s with Blaine, that’s all that matters. And he’s secure with that. But, love and relationships are more than just believing everything’s going to be okay as Kurt finds out here.

I’ve seen this comment floating around, and I agree with the assessment -- usually the show lets Kurt pretty cry. Kurt’s break down here is not pretty. It’s downright ugly crying. (And this is where I give Chris kudos for his acting. Damn, I can’t imagine going to that place take after take.)

Anyway - it’s fascinating that everything changes from this moment forward. No more fairy tale romance. Welcome to the adult world kiddos.

So -- instead of extending the argument -- we move into the song Don’t Speak. Which was, apparently, Darren Criss’s suggestion. Thanks Darren. Lol.

It works well for this group of singers -- it’s heart-wrenching and works well for both of these couples. It’s not a personal favorite, because this song depresses me to no end, but it works.

Breaking it down a little --

Blaine sings:

I really feel That I'm losing my best friend I can't believe this could be The end

That stands out to Blaine’s headspace. It’s not just about the romantic relationship -- it’s the fact that the friendship isn’t intact as it once was either. And I think that’s a huge element that they both miss throughout this break up.

Kurt (with Rachel):

It looks as though you're letting go And if it's real, well, I don't want to know

It’s interesting -- because Kurt, when things get emotionally difficult, had a tendency to not deal with them head on. Not until he’s forced to, really.

Kurt and Blaine:

Don't speak I know what you're thinking I don't need your reasons Don't tell me, cause it hurts

This is the chorus and the main point of the song. Neither of them really want to deal with it because it sucks. It’s literally the worse. And yet -- you have to eventually deal with it anyway.

Kurt (with Finn):

Our memories, well, they can be inviting But some are altogether mighty frightening

This is interesting -- I think it’s that the memories aren’t as comforting as they once were. For Kurt -- everything he once believed was true and good is now tainted, and how do you look back on that fondly? Right now he can’t.

Blaine (with Rachel):

As we die, both you and I With my head in my hands, I sit and cry

Oh, Blaine -- this speaks to his helplessness at this point.

Hey - remember when we wanted Klaine in bed together and they gave us this? FU RIB!

I actually really like the cinematography out in the park. That shot with Blaine and Kurt lined up but not actually facing each other is pretty powerful - as it shows where they are now in relation to each other. The stuff in the beds, eh, not a fan of the split screen stuff. Plus, oy, Finchel-ness.

I can’t really imagine how the rest of the night went, tbh. I’m shocked Kurt didn’t kick Blaine to the couch. But I can only imagine there was a lot of crying, and a lot of not facing each other, and little to no sleep. And then Kurt left and went into the other room to think....

In Mourning

I’m guessing Kurt’s been in that chair for a long time. He tells Finn that he feels like he’s going to die. And that six months ago, he would have never guessed this would have happened. Well no -- you never thought this was going to happen at all. It’s called life, and life is throwing curveballs.

Kurt’s waiting up for Blaine -- but later Blaine will say that he left without Kurt talking to him. What gives? Well -- Kurt’s so hurt, and so shattered, and it’s a lot to process and take in and I can imagine that even though I think Kurt wants to yell and scream and fight, he’s also emotionally exhausted. What does he really have to say in right this second? You can’t undo things that have already happened, nothing is going to magically make it all feel better. So yeah -- I can see Kurt wanting to say so many things, but in the end, it’s easier to just let Blaine go.

I read some great meta once, and I wish I had a source to back it up, that Kurt doesn’t feel like Kurt here. And someone wrote about why. Because Chris usually plays Kurt as poised and controlled in his actions. And none of that is here. But this is a Kurt who is emotionally raw and defeated. He’s just kind of in a state of existing. His heart is broken, his world doesn’t make sense anymore -- he’s just there. (Man -- I’ll have to see if I can find it -- cause whoever wrote it, wrote a much more eloquent analysis than I ever could.)

If this episode wasn’t already depressing enough -- consider this.... This is the last time Finn and Kurt have a scene together. And it’s a little chilling when you think that Kurt’s wearing black, and telling Finn goodbye as he leaves the loft quietly. Obvious, I’m texturing this on in hindsight. But it’s already a bittersweet moment. It’s heartbreaking when looking back.

I always wished they did a little more with Kurt and Finn as brothers than what they did. But I’m, weirdly, glad they had this little moment as their last scene.

///

I have to mention here that we go back to McKinley for a while because Newbie/Jarley drama. And here’s my thing -- this feels so, so jarring compared to the rest of the episode. Glee season 4, when not talking about the newbies, kind of goes back to that season 1 adult grittiness. And all the emotions and break up stuff feels like it’s apart of that. Stopping midway to do a story about high school students most of us don’t care for yet (or ever) is frustrating -- and really highlights the disconnect between these two different kind of stories.

Also a note about the Left Behind thing. I get that this is supposed to be a realization of the theme -- being left behind by someone, as Finn, Blaine, and Brittany are all feeling that. But did we have to waste so much time with it being a literal thing?

Also, meanwhile there’s mild trouble with Wemma. So they get in an argument. While I’m glad they didn’t break up, yet again, it’s obvious they just wanted to stick them into the final group number. We could have done without the newbie stuff and had Wemma get an actual story for it to make more sense.

A Metaphor

Well -- by the time Kurt gets back to work, he’s his composed self again. Something small that fascinates me -- Kurt’s staring deeply at this note from Blaine, and when his coworker Chase comes in, Kurt jumps a little, startled that his thoughts have been interrupted. And then Kurt closes off. He doesn’t give Chase details about what happened, he doesn’t even make eye contact. Kurt goes inward while he hurts, and takes pain on his own.

He tells Chase:

Kurt: I’m okay. I’ll be okay.

He’s already entering this defiant mode. He wants to be fine -- he wants all the pain to stop and not to be able to think about it. Of course, he’s not. As much as he wants it to, the pain of this break up is deep, and isn’t going to magically go away. It’s going to take a lot of time and a lot of healing before Kurt really is fine. But meanwhile, he’s going to try his damnedest to present himself as fine.

Kurt trying to be fine while trying not to break down crying. Oh, bb.

Also this exchange:

Chase: Is he cute? Kurt: The cutest.

You don’t magically fall out of love with someone when these things happen. (Not that I wanted Kurt to do that -- but I’m just trying to show the complexity of the situation here.) Yes, Blaine hurt Kurt very deeply. But Blaine also loved Kurt very deeply, and Kurt loved him very deeply, and those feelings are very intertwined. And I feel like that’s an important comment to make -- cause it’ll come back later. But also because, Kurt can claim he’s fine all he wants, that doesn’t make him actually feel fine.

So someone might yell at me if I don’t mention the flowers. Yes, yes, they’re a call back to Asian F -- when Kurt gave Blaine flowers. Red and Yellow mean friendship and love and a deep connection. Oh, a stab in the heart for sure.

But -- there are two other big things (that irk me a little) that I need to point out before we leave this scene.

First of all, Blaine’s note. I kind of hate it -- because it feels juvenile and belittling of the severity of what Blaine did. The note doesn’t feel like Blaine, and I just don’t like it.

Secondly -- it took me forever to figure this out, but Kurt throwing the note away is a metaphor for Kurt dumping Blaine. That’s when the Klaine v.1 ends. With a metaphor. And it bugs me. Because both Brittana and Finchel get dialogue -- actual scenes that show that their relationships are over. And Klaine gets a metaphor.

And no, I don’t know what I would have wanted instead. And in some ways, Klaine gets better things. Their story is the one that gets the most development in season 4. They’re the first ones back to each other. They get way more focus than Brittana will ever get, and more interaction than Finchel. Their relationship is the least dead? But I suppose there’s that lingering feeling, that I suppose isn’t that fair to say, like the Tongue Tied montage -- I wanted Klaine to have just a little something more.

////

Kurt isn’t in the episode again until the end. But before I get there, a couple of points.

1. When Blaine returns to McKinley he chats a little with Finn -- and Finn (understandably, I may add) berates him for hurting Kurt. But my heart breaks for Blaine. Because Finn has come back home too, but he has a support system -- he has his parents, and Will and all the kids look happy to see him. Blaine is alone. Really alone. Oh, bb. I’m glad you get Sam soon.

2. Brittana -- I like the scene that they get at the end. It’s funny, as much as they leave it open ended (this isn’t an official break up) I always felt like it was the most definitive break up of the three. In fact, until they actually got back together in season 5, I thought maybe the show was done with Brittana for good. (I have to wonder how much fan involvement had something to do with them getting back together.)

3. Finchel -- I have many thoughts about Finchel. Idk - if you guys are interested, I’ll write up a post. Long story short - I like their conversation (minus a couple small things) at the end and they were definitely /done/ for a long time. (The weren’t supposed to get back together until the end of the series.)

Back to the Start

The ending group number is The Scientist. And, well, damn, if this isn’t the perfect ending song for this episode -- as it really does well to encompass all of the issues among these couples. (I suppose, though, it helps when the show purposely gives these couples similar issues and themes to work through.) It’s an incredibly heart-wrenching and effective performance.

This song is a reflection of better days and how easy it can be in the beginning and harder as it goes along. (It’s about a lot of things, I’m simplifying)

But Kurt’s verse:

I was just guessing At numbers and figures Pulling the puzzles apart

Well, FU again RIB -- as obviously this is a nod to the line in Teenage Dream about being each other’s missing puzzle pieces.

I should also mention the flashbacks, as there was an uproar about this -- which I don’t believe was unjust. Finchel and Wemma (who don’t really even have a big conflict in this episode) get a flashback to their first kiss, while Klaine and Brittana noticeably don’t get kisses but other moments. And with Klaine I sorta by, since that was back to their start. But still -- if you’re gonna show couples kissing, show them all. C’mon, Glee. Don’t piss us off even further. Klaine’s first kiss would have worked just fine here.

But anywya... But man, if there isn’t some juicy Kurt-related stuff to sink my teeth into. Because this is just ‘the incident’ -- and now we have all the repercussions.

No one ever said it would be this hard Oh, take me back to the start

And thus, the show has officially hit the reset button. Welcome to a new world, guys. It’s not gonna be easy.

#finding kh #kurt hummel #Did I miss anything?#Probably #I'm emotionally exhausted after doing this for five hours #I'm gonna go bake a cake now

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llheadcanons-blog · 8 years

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You want valentines day will the pillarmen? Heres one. How would the pillarmen be with an s/o who is super over the top for the holiday? Like full speed ahead, pulling out all the breaks, and buying 5 dozen roses over the top?

Hell yeah pillarmen Valentines, I kinda wanted to send one in anyways! How about Kars with an s/o that likes to do all that cheesy romantic stuff? Like a nice dinner, an evening out, rose petals and candles in the bedroom, they love all that cheesy, traditional/stereotypical romance stuff. Kars has to figure out what the hell is going on and plan accordingly (bless his heart 😂) (ps, happy valentines!!)

I’m so sorry this is late! To be honest I had to rewatch some part 2 to try and get a better grasp on the characters, but I still feel as though my Kars might not be 100% accurate. I hope you both still find this okay!

Whammu is definitely going to be the most curious of the three pillarmen. He would've never thought that love, a concept that had been so foreign to him before, would have a whole holiday dedicated to it.

So imagine his surprise to waking up Valentine's day night and having one of the first things you do is give him flowers. He'll just kind of stare at them and tell you that they're very pretty flowers in the most nonchalant way possible. You'll have to tell him that this is how someone shows love on Valentine's day.

After you explain to him that it's Valentine's day in between soft, sweet kisses, Whammu ask you for more details. You'll explain to him all the stereotypical stuff, like flowers and chocolates, going out to eat dinner, etc.

Whammu, being fiercely dedicated to you and the relationship between you both, would immediately lift you up bridal style and head out into the night.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, since you fell asleep in Whammu's arms, but when Whammu gently woke you, you found yourself surrounded in the most beautiful meadow. Flowers of different colors were grouped together like patch work, and all illuminated by the moon light.

While you looked around in awe, Whammu slow knelt down to give you a kiss on your forehead. "Please, forgive me my love. I had no idea a day such as this existed, so I am afraid I have nothing prepared. I hope this is enough to please you."

--------------------------------------------------------

Eisidisi will definitely be the most amused of the three over Valentine's day, or more specifically, how much dedication you have for it.

Just like Whammu, his night is going to start with you giving him flowers, to which he'll reply with a hardy laugh. "Oh~? What's this? A new tradition for Lupercalia?"

If you had no clue what he was talking about, he in turn would begin to question what on earth you were doing. You'd explain to him on February 14th, people celebrate a holiday called Valentine's day, which was a day dedicated to lovers giving gifts to each other and spending time with one another.

Eisidisi would laugh in response, recalling the old celebrations he witnessed of Lupercalia, a ritual that took place on February 15th that was dedicated to increasing the fertility in women and matching young people up with each other. Needless to say, depending on how you feel about animal sacrifice, this story might have drained the romance out of you for a couple of hours.

Eventually though, you'd be right back to your usual romantic self. While Eisidisi might not be as enthusiastic to celebrate the holiday, he will gladly watch and accept the things you give him, and he in turn would be more than willing to pull you into a tight embrace and keep you warm through the cold February night.

--------------------

While not as amused as Eisidisi, Kars would definitely be watching you with interest as you try to sneak attack him. Every time you get close, he'd just hum questioningly, giving away that he already knows that you're there and planning something. After around 7 times, you would eventually give up and just present the flowers to him normally.

"Hmm, these are quite beautiful. What's the occasion?"

When you explain to him that it's Valentine's day, a day dedicated to lover's, he'd begin to fiddle with the flowers you brought him. "I see. How interesting."

While he seemed to give the idea a vague interest, he would ultimately ignore it in favor of planning out his next move towards becoming the world's supreme being. This, however, wouldn't stop you.

When Kars finally decides to take a break from his planning, he'd enter a room covered completely in flowers and rose petals (there'd be candles too, but that's just par for the course with these ancient giants). Not really understanding the reasons, Kars would just stare at his -pet- lover for an explanation.

When he's told that it's supposed to be romantic and lead to some *ahem* quality time, Kars would let out a loud chuckle.

"So this is what you wanted earlier. Well then, my dear, are you prepared to serve me as I see fit?"

#Kars #Whammu #Eisidisi #part 2 #headcanons #Anonymous

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char27martin · 7 years

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10 Ways to Overcome Lonely Writer Syndrome

youtube

One of the downsides to becoming a fulltime author or writer is that, by its very nature, writing can be a very lonely business. Typically, it’s just you and a computer, shut off from the rest of the world, all alone with your thoughts.

If you’re someone who is not totally comfortable being a literary hermit like me, you might experience feelings of loneliness and depression, or what I call Lonely Writer Syndrome.

There are things you can do to avoid such feelings. It starts with changing your surroundings and your routine. To that end, here are my Top 10 Tips on how to avoid lonely writer syndrome and become a happy hermit.

2. Create A Positive Workspace

For me, it all begins with the space where I spend most of my day writing, which is my home office. The space must be comfortable and convenient to work in, and conducive to the task of writing. Otherwise, you may spend most of the time being distracted by negative things like a messy desk or rickety chair, or outside distractions like traffic noise or the kid next door banging a ball against the house.

I’m also a bit of a neat freak. If my workspace is a mess, I’m unable to focus on the writing, so my creativity goes to pot. There is nothing on my desk but a computer and the legal pad and pen I use to doodle when my brain needs a break from writing. I don’t buy into the adage that “a messy desk is the sign of a creative mind.” To me, a messy desk is a sign of a person too lazy to clean up their desk.

The same is true of the ergonomics of the profession. Writers sit a lot, usually hunched over a desk or a table at Starbucks. If your chair is uncomfortable or your setup awkward, you could suffer back or wrist pain, or lose feeling in your backside. That’s going to affect your creativity and your mood.

Investing in a chair or desk that is ergonomically-designed for how you work could be the best money you’ll ever spend. Notice that I didn’t advise you to buy a comfy chair. It’s been my experience that getting too comfortable can be just as detrimental to the writing process as being too uncomfortable.

Remember high school typing class from the dark ages, boys and girls: feet flat on the floor, spine straight, shoulders back, arms extended at the elbows, wrists in a relaxed position, fingers on keys. Who knew that old Mrs. Reed the typing teacher really knew what she was talking about?

2. Invest in Modern Technology

Nothing is more frustrating (at least to me) than being in the middle of a thought and having my computer crash, which is why I recommend investing in a good computer that doesn’t freeze up every time you launch Word or Scrivener.

Trying to write on a 10-year-old laptop is like hammering words into a stone with a dull chisel.

Basic, reliable computers are cheap. Buy one. Today. You’re welcome.

[Scrivener 3.0 Update: What’s inside, and is it worth the cost?]

3. Take Frequent Breaks

When I tell people that I make my living as a writer, they say witty things like, “It must be great being a writer. All you do is sit all day long.”

What they don’t understand is that sitting too long at a computer can be mentally and physically exhausting. I’ve found that taking frequent breaks helps refresh my body, mind, and mood.

I write in thirty-minute chunks, which means every thirty-minutes I get up and stretch for a few minutes, or grab a cup of coffee, or just walk around the house. Thirty on, ten off is what works for me. Try it and you’ll soon figure out what works best for you.

4. Get Out of The House

At least once a day I shut down the computer and get out of the house for an hour. I may go out to lunch, take a walk around the neighborhood, go to the gym, or run errands. The point is to disconnect the digital umbilical and come out of your cave for at least an hour every day, even if you have no particular place to go. I find that I’m usually eager to get back to work after such a break, which increases my productivity and satisfaction.

5. Interact with Others in The Same Boat as You

As I said in the beginning, writing can be a lonely business. That’s why I recommend that you find ways to interact with other writers, virtually and in the real world.

Joining online and local writer’s groups is one of the best way to do this—if you can avoid the aspects of such groups that often eat into your writing time (drama, committees, you read mine and I’ll read yours).

Spending time with others in the same boat as you will often keep you from having those feelings that your boat is sinking.

One additional word of warning: don’t waste time writing long Facebook posts or getting into philosophical arguments in forums to prove how well you can write or how smart you are. These groups can have positive and negative effects, so participate and contribute wisely.

Upcoming Online Courses:

Advanced Novel Writing with Mark Spencer Writing Nonfiction with Carolyn Walker Short Story Fundamentals with John DeChancie Query Letter in 14 Days with Jack Adler Writing the Picture Book with Terri Valentine

6. Attend Writer’s Conferences

This takes No. 5 to the next level. If you can afford to travel, check out the various writers and publishing conferences that are held around the country every year. Choose the one or two that you feel are best for you and plan to attend. Some writers prefer small regional conferences while others enjoy the big nationals.

My advice would be to choose a conference that fits your niche and needs (romance, sci-fi, etc.) rather than a large general conference that may not focus on things you’re most interested in.

Either way, conferences are a great way to meet other writers, agents, editors, and publishers. I always come away from conferences with a renewed energy and list of new contacts. Since attending conferences can be expensive, do your research and attend only those that you feel will give you the biggest bang for your buck.

7. Coauthor with Other Writers

This is one of my favorite ways to shake off those feelings of loneliness and depression because it forces you to communicate with others on a regular basis.

Coauthoring simply means that you write a book (and share credit) with a writing partner, or someone who can provide complimentary skills to your own.

For example, I coauthor with several writers in the science fiction and space opera genres. Sometimes, we both contribute to the writing equally while other times I might do the lion’s share of the writing while they handle most of the editorial and marketing tasks.

Coauthoring is a great way to build your brand and reach a wider audience. And while the project is in full swing, you will have frequent chats with your writing partner. You may find coauthoring so appealing that you never want to work alone again.

8. Ignore the Bad Stuff

There’s nothing more depressing to some writers than getting a bad review or receiving yet another rejection letter. Those things used to bother me, too, but now, not so much. If I get a bad review, I determine whether it’s just some jack wagon who didn’t even read the book or a serious reader with something genuinely worthwhile to say.

Genuine reviews, negative or not, should be considered valuable feedback from readers, and can give you great insight into what you may need to do differently next time.

Don’t let the bad reviews get you down. Garner what lessons you can from them and move on.

The same is true with rejection, typically from agents or publishers. I have enough agent rejection letters to wallpaper my master bathroom.

Every author, from King to Grisham to Rowling has been rejected dozens of times. Consider yourself part of the elite club: authors who are not afraid to try.

9. Learn to Meditate

One of my favorite ways to recharge my mental batteries and shake off feelings of loneliness and depression is through meditation. The thing I love most about meditation is that I can do it anywhere, anytime, all I need is ten minutes and a quiet place to sit.

You don’t have to take classes or read books to learn how to meditate. I simply go into my den or office where there’s no noise or distractions, sit in a comfy chair, close my eyes, focus on my breathing, and let my mind wander for a few minutes.

At first, you may find turning off your thoughts to be difficult, but over time you will learn to shut out the world. In the meantime, you can wear noise-cancelling headphones or listen to soothing music to block out noise.

The key is to keep at it until you are meditating for at least ten minutes a day. Or ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes in the afternoon. Or whenever you feel stressed or alone. Meditation is a tool you can use at will. I highly recommend doing so. I think you’ll find it to be a great way to keep the writing process positive and productive.

10. Listen to Upbeat Music

When I write, I prefer a quiet environment, but many writers believe that listening to upbeat or inspirational music helps them stay motivated and in a creative mood. The key is to listen to music that inspires rather than interrupts the thought patterns, which is why many prefer instrumentals. If you find yourself singing along rather than writing, you might want to change your playlist.

[Want some music recommendations? Check out Robert Lee Brewer’s 20 Best Songs for Writers and About Writing.]

…

Once more, writing can be a lonely business, but there are ways to help battle those feelings of loneliness and depression.

Give these tips a try to see if you find them helpful. And feel free to share other tips you might have in the comments below!

The post 10 Ways to Overcome Lonely Writer Syndrome appeared first on WritersDigest.com.

from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/writers-perspective/the-writing-life/how-to-avoid-lonely-writer-syndrome

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shefliesaway · 7 years

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just??? a random list of my relationships. from the earliest i can remember to most recent. for documenting purposes i guess. and to work through things. idk.

Troy – I have no real recollection of this other than just telling him he was my “boyfriend” in kindergarten or first grade.

Austin B. – 4th and 5th grade “boyfriend”. First real memories of a “relationship”. We never dated for real or kissed or anything, we were just kids. However, it was when “sex bracelets” were a thing, and I told on him to a teacher when he tried to give me one. Thus ending our “relationship” and sending him to detention. Years later, when I had a high school class with him, he told me he still remembered that and that he thought he was gonna go to jail. We were able to laugh about it.

Tyler – In 6th grade he asked me to be his gf on a Friday and I said yes. Over the weekend, I freaked out because I didn’t actually want to date him. On the following Monday I acted like he didn’t exist and when he confronted me I said I “misheard” him and agreed to just being friends. Still one of my most embarrassing moments. No idea what ever happened to him.

Jake – Another middle school romance. No memory of how it began or ended, just that it happened at some point???? I think????

Thomas - First high school romance, first kiss. Very little recollection of how it began. All I remember is him cheating me out of my first kiss on the school bus by asking me to kiss his cheek and then turning his head quickly to catch my mouth when I did. The kids around us asked us if we were dating now and we both agreed due to peer pressure. Literally no memory of how it ended.

Adam H. – I was a sophomore and he was a freshman. He had long hair and I thought he looked like a Twilight character (long before the movies were a thing). We were in band together and were going steady, but never really went on a “date” or kissed or anything. He was very strange and clingy, and my naïvely aromantic ass had no idea why I didn’t like him back. I grew distant, and eventually my friend Annalynn broke up with him for me via a text message. Savage.

Josh – Oh my gOD. This poor kid. I liked him because he was “emo”, and I was just beginning to dabble in witchcraft. I cast my first love spell on him on a full moon whilst on my period with a crystal and a Zen garden. It worked. Too well. He asked me out the next day, and I said yes, ecstatic that I’d gotten what I wanted. He was my first make-out. From there, he became obsessive. He drew sketches of me, wrote me songs and poetry, borderline stalked me. I began to freak. He said he was gonna marry me, that I was his soulmate, that he’d kill himself if we broke up. I learned a very important lesson about the Rule of Three. When summer break began, I ignored him, even when he’d show up at my door, until he finally broke up with me over voicemail, clearly crying during the message. My bff and I were very mean to him after that, and I regret it. I’m glad the spell finally wore off. I still feel bad for him. He was also the first PoC I ever dated.

Austin D. – Last high school relationship. We were in band together and had begun flirting at some point. I vaguely remember him asking me out on the bus from a band performance. We dated for a while, went on a couple dates, kissed and made-out sometimes. But I was aromantic, despite not knowing it, and didn’t feel for him what he felt for me. I remember describing to him when I broke up with him that we were basically just “friends who kiss sometimes”. He agreed, the break-up was fairly mutual. We were still able to talk and stuff without it being weird for the rest of high school. Especially since a lot of our friends were mutual.

Felicia – Not really a relationship, but the first girl I ever kissed, I think.

Chuck – Bass guitarist for a local rock band. I was only 19, he was 30-something. We never kissed or dated or anything, but we did drunkenly share a bed one night and there was heavy petting involved. I was crazy about him, but he ended up coming to his senses regarding our age difference.

Lahela – My first relationship with a girl, first long distance romance that started online via RP. This was while I was living in Costa Rica. I thought she was the love of my life, I thought that I was going to marry her. I sent her orchids for Valentine’s Day, and she broke up with me for it. Saying I was too young (she was also 30-something) and that she’d let things go too far. It broke me. I spiraled into depression and finally sought therapy for the first time. She contacted me months later to apologize, and it triggered one of my first panic attacks. Haven’t heard from her since, but I know she’s now married to a man.

T.J. – Sweet man. He was also in this 30’s when we dated. We’d had a class together my freshman year of college, and we’d had a crush on each other but never voiced it. He finally asked me out once I got back from Costa Rica. We dated for a while, kissed a lot, shared a bed once. He was funny and I liked him. He left me for his boss at the time, saying the “distance” was too long for him. (I was literally a 2 hour drive from him, and only for a couple months.) I was jaded, so when he tried to get back together, saying his boss ended up “crazy”, I refused and was kind of mean. Which I now deeply regret after finding out recently that he died in July 2015. I don’t know what happened, but I regret how things ended.

Jayse – My partner of “firsts”. My first queer platonic relationship, my first time dating a trans person, my first time having sex, my first polyamorous relationship, my first *** relationship. Jayse was a great partner, despite being very ill and long-distance. But we made it work. We met each other’s families, flew out to visit each other, went on vacation together, etc. I imagined I would marry him and adopt kids with him. We also met via RP. - Sayers: A few months into mine and Jayse’s relationship, we added a third, Sayers. We were a happy triad for a while. I kissed Sayers but never slept with him. While I was away in KC, Jayse texted me saying Sayers was behaving toxically. I took Jayse’s side and we broke things off with him. Jayse and I stayed happily together for several more months. When I began seeing Jon, Jayse was fine with it since we were poly and qpr anyway. When Jon said he wanted to be exclusive, I broke things off with Jayse despite the fact that he’d done nothing wrong. He didn’t talk to me for months after that. I didn’t care at the time. We talk occasionally now, and he’s much more ill than ever before. I deeply regret how things ended. I wish we were closer now and I wish I could be there to help him with his sicknesses and disabilities.

Jon – The greatest love of my life thus far. We met via RP and became close friends fast. A year later, we met in person and had an immediate physical connection. A month after that, we decided to be exclusive and I broke things off with Jayse for him. I was so in love with him. We were in a very happy, healthy relationship for 9 of the best months of my life. We were in a *** relationship on and off for a while, too, and got to explore different dynamics of it, which was very rewarding emotionally. I grew a lot with him. I thought for sure he was my soulmate, that we’d get married and have kids and live happily ever after. So when he broke up with me the first time, I was completely blindsided. I had no idea anything was wrong. Literally the day before I’d told my best friend that he was my “forever love” and that we were so happy together. I still think I’ve never been in as much pain as I was then. I regret how I handled it, but I was absolutely devastated. A couple of weeks later, we began talking again, trying to be friends. Our grandmothers died almost back-to-back, and we needed each other. We went on a much needed vacation to N. Ireland. We shared our first kiss since the break-up there. We made love again for the first time since the break-up one of the nights before I left again for the States. We decided we didn’t need to have a label, that we were happy just having each other. I was hopeful. I went to see him again a month later and things were more physical in those few days than they had been in a year of sleeping together. It probably should have been a warning sign, in hindsight. Just a few weeks after that, he broke things off with me again. I was once again devastated and reacted poorly. It’s embarrassing, but I felt like I was dying. I miss him. I’m quite sure he hates me now, but I don’t blame him. I wish only the best for him. I hope he’s doing well. I know I’ll love him ‘til the day I die.

Dozie – Fuck this guy. He found me at a diner a few weeks after Jon and I broke up the first time. We hung out a couple of times after that. After Jon and I broke up the second time, we hung out at the aquarium. He asked if it was a date, and I said yes. I even let him drive me (which was huge). I was beginning to trust him. THEN HE DECIDES TO TELL ME HE’S MARRIED WITH A CHILD AND HAD BEEN LYING TO ME FOR MONTHS AND NOW I’M FURIOUS WITH HIM, BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE, STILL MAD AT HIM. STILL PISSED THAT HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. HATE HIM. FUCK THAT GUY. SO GLAD WE NEVER DID ANYTHING, I NEVER EVEN LET HIM HOLD MY HAND. FUCK OFF. I knew better than to trust him, too, because when I asked my tarot cards about him, I pulled out “The Magician”. But my dumb ass kept talking to him anyway smh.

Adam S. – Current fling. Met when Ryan and I set up a troll profile for me on Tinder. When I sent him stupid trolling messages, he trolled me right back. He had me laughing the entire night. Before I knew it, I kind of liked him. I told him I was real before I deleted my Tinder, and sent him a SnapChat to prove it. From there we started talking regularly. We’ve been on lots of dates, despite being long-distance. He even came to visit me in D.C. He’s also the first cis guy I’ve ever slept with. Our physical connection is undeniable. We have a lot of differences – like a lot – and he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever dated. But he treats me well, and calls me every day, and seems to genuinely like me. He’s good to me. And I like him back. He makes me happy. We’re both too afraid of being hurt to make things “official” but that’s okay. We’re just enjoying things right now. He’s a good friend, and a good lover. He’s incredibly handsome and he treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Do I love him? Not in that sense. Could I love him like that eventually? Maybe. It’s unfair to him when I’m still hung-up on my ex. I’m trying to move on because I don’t want to hurt Adam, but it’s a slow process. Either way, he’s a great guy and I like him a lot. I’m excited to see where this leads us. He gives me hope after I’d sworn off relationships for good. I doubt it will last, but it’s still fun and nice to have.

#1///////////////////////////////////////////////////////#2\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\#3///////////////////////////////////#4]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]#5]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]#personal #don't read this k

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