#not astounding or anything groundbreaking

[toshidou]

just finished a book for the first time in fucking years, and i only started reading it yesterday evening. i feel both accomplished and so devastated it's over so soon

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Breaking work ethics

Part 1

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Note: As requested by my other half, @x-doctor-romantic-x, I made it as filthy as possible by her request 😂. Thank you sis for all the support you gave me when I needed it💜. She loved it, and I hope you’ll end up loving it as well. I’ll upload it in 3 parts.

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐Links: part 2

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Warnings: none (for now)

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Pairings: Wesker x OC

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Summary: Wesker and Gaby break work rules and engage in some steamy activities.

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Word Count: 1k

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Ko-fi: if you want to support me, visit this link

Wesker's attention was drawn to the sample in front of him.He watched as the cells moved under the lens, how they bumped into each other, and the overall behavior of the virus. It didn’t do anything unusual. After all, the virus was behaving just like any other living organism: it reproduced itself, it evolved, and it had its own genetic sequence. Relatively unnoticeable to the naked eye, they were powerful enough to take down the most significant life forms. This power astounded Wesker and convinced him to pursue a career in this field.

He zoomed in, being more drawn to his creation. It was quiet, so quiet that Wesker fell into his own thoughts. Everything was in order, not a single vial out of place. It was the perfect atmosphere to create a groundbreaking discovery. He reached for a syringe next to him, and he was ready to inject its content inside the sample, when…

SLAM

The door hit the wall hard as it was kicked with force. Wesker almost dropped the syringe. He redirected his attention to the source of the disruption, knowing well who might have been. Only one person in this world has that much courage to interrupt him in such a way.

Gaby stood confidently in the doorway, smirking deviously. She was his girl, and while she loved him deeply, she liked disturbing him while he was working, because she knew she always got away with it. 

“Playing doctor again, Albert?” She said while approaching him, maintaining the same smirk. She finished her job a few minutes ago, and after a cigarette break, she decided to check on Albert. 

“Yes Gaby, it still pays the bills. This better be good. " He said in an annoyed tone. He can’t really be angry at her. If someone else did half the stuff she’s doing to him, he’d become an experiment. 

"Oh, why the angry tone, dear? I just wanted to check on you. Is this good enough for you?”

She was teasing him, playing innocent. Wesker was not having it at the moment. 

“I’m not in the mood, Gaby, please.” His tone was less aggressive this time. 

“You’re always so stressed, you need to relax a little.” In her playful tone, there was a slight hint of worry. The truth is, Albert had been working himself out in the past few months, and that was starting to show. He lost some weight, he had huge dark circles under his eyes, and he was starting to get sloppy, which does not characterize him at all. 

When Gaby pressed her hands over his shoulders to give him a massage, he instantly tensed. 

“This doesn’t look good. You know? I don’t understand why you’re so stressed anyway. "Everything works according to the schedule.” Gaby moved to his side, looking at him while caressing his back.

“Not everything works well, Gaby. Your sister is starting to ask questions about the missions and your job. Your brother is getting suspicious as well, and there is this rookie that just joined, and God she is so clumsy. " He moved his head toward his temple as he kept remembering his problems. “Oh and by the way, would it kill you if you entered the room as a normal person?” 

"Yes,” she said in a firm tone. 

"OK," Wesker said, a small smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

“You gotta get out of this constant tightening up mood. It will do you more harm than good. "

“I can’t Gaby, a lot of things depend on me. If I fuck something up, it will inevitably reflect upon you, and I don’t want that. "

“I can handle myself.” Gaby placed her hands over her hips, adopting a super-hero like stance while looking at Wesker. He chuckled at the sight of his girlfriend. She always managed to put him in a good mood. "I'm serious, my love."You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“I know you are perfectly capable of handling yourself, but I just can’t stop worrying.” He said while lovingly gazing at her. She had this ability to make his day better, even when she would come in like a tank in his office. 

They were total opposites, and they had the strongest bond. Both were smart individuals with strong personalities, but they differed when it came down to personality. Albert was the serious one, always calculated and always with an imposing presence, while Gaby was a free spirit, with a sharp tongue and a great sense of adventure. 

“You know,” Gaby started to say, as he approached Albert, “there is another reason why I came here.” She placed her hands over his chest, gently caressing his body.  Albert got the hint, and removed her hands.

“We can’t sweetheart. I appreciate your concerns, but I must complete my work.Besides, I wouldn’t like Sergei or William to catch us in the middle of the act. There are rules.”

“You and your rules, Albert. C’mon” she scoffed, closing the distance between them. “How often do those two check on you? I tell you how often, twice a month. Sergei comes once at the end of the month to check on your progress and twice at the beginning of the month to give you the next tasks. William does the same, but he is here to complain mostly. "

Albert was hypnotised by her constant gaze. Her eyes were watching carefully for every single reaction that might give him away, while he was staring into those big, beautiful grey eyes full of love for him. It wasn’t long until words faded in the background and all he could focus on was her face, her beautiful red hair, her perfect nose, and red cheeks. Her lips moved with every word, but they were telling their own story. His attention was fixed on her lips for now, because of her dark-red lipstick that drove him crazy. 

[total-takes-island-takes]

I know anon was trolling to be annoying but I think everyone needs to hear this anyway

I think what's inherently flawed about thinking tti is mid is that... what else is it supposed to be? it's a total drama season. total drama in itself is not a groundbreaking or fantastic show. it's entertaining and has interesting characters, is funny at points, and has some good dynamics. but it's nothing astounding, and if you think it is I am BEGGING you to expand your viewing pool and maybe watch something else.

but anyway, tti is ultimately a total drama season. it's not supposed to be #oscarworthy. it's supposed to be fun for the mods involved. which most seem to agree it is!

no one here is holding tti to the standards of anything but total drama. and for total drama, it does its job very well! there are cohesive character arcs, TWENTY TWO different and mostly unique characters (which not even fresh has done since the first season), a believable romance, jokes that hit, and a creative spin on each challenge so it's not the exact same as the original. all of this from a guy who has stated he's never written like this before, and DAILY RELEASES at that.

tti is not a cinematic or literary masterpiece, it's total drama fanfiction. and for td fanfic, it's really good! not perfect! but good enough to get a handful of people very involved and dedicated to the show.

I honestly could see this being a total drama season, like an actual season of td with some tweaking. it's believable, its tonally cohesive and more or less as appropriate as the original tdi. I mean, a td nostalgia season with a new cast full of some actual stereotypes of modern teens? I can't imagine that a producer wouldn't jump on that.

tldr: tti isn't a scorsese masterpiece but for total drama it's a perfectly passable season

exactly anon, I don't think I ever could've said it better. it's just an enjoyable fan season that a lot of people are having fun with!

[tilbageidanmark]

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Movies I watched this Week #106 (Week 2 of year 3):

“Three great abstract artists died in 1944: Wassily Kandinsky, Piet Mondrian and Hilma von Klint”.

Even though it’s only the second week of January, I already discovered one of my favorite documentaries of 2023: Beyond The Visible - Hilma af Klint. Like Vivian Maier, Hilma was a female genius who lived in obscurity her whole life and left behind a body of work that equals and surpasses most of her contemporaries. Discovered 70 years after her death, she is now considered perhaps Sweden’s most important artist - ever. This astounding biography details her groundbreaking legacy, as well as her extraordinary life. The first abstract artist of the modern area, all her 2,500 painting and voluminous notebooks of 250,000 pages miraculously remained intact. She was also a mystic, a spiritualist, a feminist and a vegetarian. Until our age, history was busy erasing all traces of female participation from its re-telling. Hers is one happy reversal.(Slideshow Above).

I saw an exhibition of her large canvases at the Tel Aviv Museum in 2019 and they were awe-inspiring. 10/10. 

🍿

High maintenance, another biographical documentary. About the great Israeli sculptor and environmental artist Dani Karavan, known for his large site-specific monuments. It followed him around before his death at 90, as he travels to some European locations of his earlier, magnificent memorials, and as he re-assess his art. An uncompromising and head-strong artist with angry political views who had no patience for fools or fascists. He was also dealing with declining acuity and memory loss during that time. With Wim Wenders. The opening scene. 7/10.

🍿

Hit the road, an unforgettable Iranian road movie written and directed by Panah Panahi, Jafar Panahi’s son, in his feature debut. There are four people driving, but we don’t know who they are or where they are going and why. One of them is a precarious six-year old, the driver does not speak much, and the parents behave strangely. Slowly we discover more about them, but the background story goes unexplained.

It’s best to watch this without knowing more. By the heartbreaking end we are completely captivated. The trailer discloses too much.

The acting of the little boy is probably one of the best child acting I’ve ever seen. 9/10 - Best film of the week.

🍿 

"...Even with my eyes wide open, I can't see anything..."

Zaitochi is a traveling blind swordsman, one of Japan’s longest film series. The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi (2003) is my first Zaitochi film, and my third by actor-director Takeshi Kitano. A tribute to the Samurai films of the 60′s, it is full of rivers of blood spraying all over whenever somebody is stabbed and killed, which is all the time. Also, including a subplot of a cross-dressing, maybe trans, geisha. It ends with a joyful and lengthy community tap dancing party.

🍿

First watch: “Tony, do you ever think about death? - Fuck off!”

The coming of age British Billy Elliot about an 11-year-old coal miner’s son who discovers that he loves ballet. A period piece about class, grief & masculinity. The boy who play Billy was wonderful. 9/10.

🍿

Another first watch: Before Sunrise, the first part of Richard Linklater’s ‘Before Trilogy’. A romantic story of two young people who meet on a train bound for Vienna. An interesting, minimalist concept that I didn’t love, because I couldn’t feel the connection between immature cynic Ethan Hawke and stereotypical-‘sweet’ French blond Julie Delpy. I wish they were played by other people. I will watch an updated version of this with more persuasive actors. Should I watch the other two parts?

🍿

2 by Zhang Yimou:

🍿 Raise the red lantern, the epic saga from the Chinese Warlord Era, tells a tragic story of a young ‘fourth Mistress’ to a very wealthy patriarch. The magnificent Gong Li and the other three concubines cannot leave the palace. They must wait each in their own opulent quarters until the master of the house (whose face is never seen) calls on the one he chooses to spend the night with. Restrained, tradition-bound and transgressive. 8/10. 

🍿 So I wanted to revisit a couple more of Yimou’s masterpieces, ‘Red Sorghum’, or ‘Qiu Ju’ or ‘To live’. Unfortunately, I picked instead his first English-language film The Great Wall, thinking, well, it was co-written by Tony Gilroy, it co-starred Andy Lau and Willem Dafoe, it was the most expensive Chinese movie ever produced, Etc. But it was a horrible disappointment. It’s a weak cartoon fantasy for young males about two mercenary amigos fighting an army of millions CGI alien monsters. Part of the trend to create spectacular Hollywood blockbusters which cater to the Chinese marketplace, the movie made $335 million and still lost money. 1/10 piece of shit. That’s why I don’t like and don’t watch special effect action movies.

🍿

2 by Ernst Lubitsch:

🍿 “Pure hooey!…”

Design for Living, a pre-code screwball comedy about - let’s face it - an explicit a ménage à trois between bohemian Gary Cooper, Fredric March, and Miriam Hopkins. That Hopkins was a modern, open-minded woman who wants to love and have sex with both men was a rarity and a delight.

🍿 His classic romantic comedy The shop around the corner, the original concept used later in ‘You’ve got mail’. It’s interesting how much appeal was there in Hollywood of that time to wax nostalgic about Austro-Hungarian life, and the reverence toward the class of the shopkeeper, aka, business owner .

🍿

Miss April ("Fröken April”), a lighter-than-air Swedish comedy from 1958 directed not by Ingmar Bergman but by one Göran Gentele. It features some venerable actors like Jan Kulle, Per Oscarsson and especially Gunnar Björnstrand who stars as an aristocratic, stuffy older banker (who, let’s face it, never “been in love” i.e. “never had sex”) and who falls for a cute, young ballet dancer. Silly & childish, and as enjoyable as a trip down memory lane to a sunny world that doesn’t exist any more. 7/10.

🍿 

2 with Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum and Martin Balsam:

🍿 The original Hitchcockian 1962 Cape fear, with a sinister score by Bernard Herrmann. An uncomfortable story of threat and terror. The word “rape” and the act itself were not explicitly seen, but strongly felt as the middle class fear that a crazed psychotic sexual stalker is coming for our young daughters. 5/10.

🍿 Rabid Martin Scorsese made the 1991 Cape Fear remake more menacing, his buff, tattooed rapist Max Cady more maniacal and the whole story much more sadistic. The best element for me was the re-done score, and the anti-lawyers message. 4/10.

🍿

Assholes: A Theory, a Canadian documentary film, based on a book by professor of philosophy Aaron James. An asshole "allows himself to enjoy special advantages in social relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people." Even though it was made in 2019, and touched upon many political, sociological & psychological trends, it didn’t mention even once the biggest asshole of them all.

🍿

The Matador, an unconvincing crime thriller starring Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear. An unlikely friendship between two vastly different men, a milquetoast middle-class salesman and a burnt-out assassin who meet at a hotel bar in Mexico City. A male fantasy of what a life of a contract hit man is. 4/10.

🍿

4 Vimeo-type Shorts:

🍿 In Ruby, an elderly Irish couple, Len and Ruby, celebrate their 40th anniversary. Len has a history of of odd and outlandish gifts. Ruby hopes that this year will be different and that he'll arrange something "nice and normal".

🍿Sister, a different, Oscar-Nominated Stop-Motion Animation by young Chinese director Siqi Song. About being a single child. The figures are made out of wool.

🍿 “If Tuvsho was a superhero, this would be her origin story." I Am Tuvsho, a short Mongolian documentary about a female sumo wrestler.

🍿 School Portrait, Directed by Nick Scott, about a school photographer in a bad mood.

🍿

Bobcat Goldthwait’s satirical indie World's Greatest Dad started well but ended in a mess. Robin Williams is an amateur novelist with a rotten teenager son. But then this sex-obsessed, nasty kid auto-asphyxiate while masturbating, and father covers it up as a ‘regular’ suicide. What a perverted premise. Too bad it didn’t work. 3/10

🍿

After discovering Coraline last week, I decided to watch the parody of it on The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror XXVIII (29S 4E). Somehow edgy (because of Halloween?...). Including similar parodies of The Exorcist, Sausage party, and self-cannibalism trops. Alrighty then!

🍿  

Throw-back to the art project:

Chinese princess (还珠格格 HuanZhuGeGe) Adora

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

[techbytesdominick]

The Innovative Technology Leading the Future of AI Image Generation

In the rapidly evolving landscape of artificial intelligence, AI image generation has emerged as one of the most exciting and transformative areas. South Korea, known for its technological prowess, is at the forefront of this revolution with innovative text-to-image AI services. These groundbreaking technologies are reshaping the way we create, perceive, and utilize visual content across industries. In this comprehensive article, we will delve into the remarkable features and benefits of AI image generation, explore its diverse applications, and understand how it is driving innovation and creativity in various sectors.

Understanding Text-to-Image AI

Text-to-image AI represents a paradigm shift in the realm of image creation. This advanced technology harnesses the power of deep learning algorithms and vast visual databases to generate high-quality, contextually relevant images from textual descriptions. By bridging the gap between language and visuals, text-to-image AI opens up a world of possibilities for creative expression, efficient content generation, and enhanced user experiences.

Key Features of AI Image Generation

AI image generation services in South Korea are setting new standards in terms of image quality, generation speed, and versatility. Let's explore some of the key features that make these technologies stand out:

Unmatched Image Quality

One of the key differentiators of AI image generation is its ability to generate images of astounding quality. Leveraging state-of-the-art algorithms and extensive visual databases, these services produce visuals that are rich in detail, highly realistic, and visually captivating. Whether it's photorealistic renderings, stylized illustrations, or anything in between, AI image generation consistently delivers results that surpass expectations. The attention to detail and visual fidelity achieved is truly remarkable, setting a new benchmark for AI-generated images.

Real-time, High-speed Generation

In today's fast-paced digital landscape, time is of the essence. AI image generation services recognize this and have optimized their image generation processes for unparalleled speed. With just a simple text prompt, users can obtain a fully realized image within seconds. This real-time, high-speed generation capability empowers businesses and individuals to quickly iterate ideas, experiment with various concepts, and bring their creative visions to life. The efficiency and responsiveness of these technologies make them invaluable tools for agile workflows and rapid prototyping.

Versatility Across Industries

One of the most compelling aspects of AI image generation is its broad applicability across industries and use cases. From digital marketing and e-commerce to entertainment and creative arts, these technologies find utility in a wide array of domains. In the realm of marketing, AI image generation enables the swift creation of visually engaging assets for social media campaigns, website graphics, and promotional materials. Designers and artists leverage these tools to generate concept art, explore new artistic styles, and find inspiration for their creative endeavors. The entertainment industry harnesses AI image generation for storyboarding, character design, and visual effects, streamlining production processes and pushing the boundaries of imagination.

Real-world Impact and Success Stories

The potential of AI image generation is not merely theoretical; it is already making significant strides in real-world applications. Numerous companies and creators in South Korea have embraced these technologies and are reaping the benefits of this transformative innovation.

E-commerce and Product Visualization

Online retailers are harnessing the power of AI image generation to revolutionize product visualization. By generating compelling and visually appealing images based on textual product descriptions, they are enhancing the online shopping experience and driving customer engagement. AI image generation enables e-commerce businesses to showcase their products in various styles, contexts, and settings, providing customers with a more immersive and persuasive browsing experience. This visual appeal translates into increased conversion rates and customer satisfaction.

Creative Agencies and Marketing Innovations

AI image generation is also making waves in the advertising and marketing landscape. Creative agencies are leveraging these technologies to streamline their workflows, generate high-quality visuals rapidly, and deliver exceptional results to their clients. The ability to quickly ideate, iterate, and refine visual concepts using AI image generation allows agencies to save time and resources while producing more impactful and memorable campaigns. By integrating these tools into their creative process, agencies are pushing the boundaries of what's possible in marketing and delivering cutting-edge solutions to their clients.

Empowering Artists and Creators

Beyond its commercial applications, AI image generation is also proving to be a game-changer for individual artists and creators. By harnessing the capabilities of these technologies, artists are unlocking new realms of creativity, producing unique and captivating visual content, and elevating the quality of their work. Many artists attest to the transformative impact of AI image generation on their creative process, citing it as a tool that amplifies their imagination and enables them to bring their visions to life in ways previously unimaginable. These services are empowering artists to explore uncharted territories, experiment with diverse styles, and push the boundaries of their craft.

The Future of AI Image Generation

As AI technology continues to advance at an astonishing pace, the future of AI image generation looks incredibly promising. With cutting-edge capabilities and proven track records, South Korean AI image generation services are well-positioned to lead the charge in shaping this exciting frontier. Researchers and developers in the field are relentlessly pushing the boundaries of what's possible, constantly refining their algorithms, expanding visual databases, and exploring new avenues for innovation.

Looking ahead, we can expect AI image generation to continue revolutionizing the way we create and consume visual content. As the technology becomes more sophisticated and accessible, its applications will likely expand into even more domains, from education and healthcare to architecture and beyond. The seamless integration of AI image generation into creative workflows will empower individuals and businesses to unlock new levels of productivity, creativity, and innovation.

Moreover, as AI image generation gains traction on a global scale, it has the potential to bridge cultural and linguistic barriers, enabling the creation of universally resonant visual content. The ability to generate high-quality images from textual descriptions in multiple languages opens up exciting possibilities for cross-cultural communication and collaboration.

Conclusion

AI image generation is revolutionizing the landscape of visual content creation in South Korea. With unparalleled image quality, lightning-fast generation speed, and versatile applicability, these technologies are empowering businesses, marketers, designers, and artists to push the boundaries of creativity and innovation. As AI technology continues to evolve at a rapid pace, South Korea is poised to remain at the forefront of shaping the future of AI image generation. Worth mentioning the AI 19, an AI Image generation service in South Korea.

Whether you're a marketer looking to create engaging visual content, an artist seeking to explore new creative frontiers, or a business aiming to enhance customer experiences, AI image generation offers a powerful and transformative solution. By harnessing the potential of these cutting-edge technologies, you can unlock new realms of creativity, efficiency, and impact in your endeavors.

As we embrace the future of AI image generation, it's clear that it will continue to play a pivotal role in driving innovation, empowering creators, and reshaping the way we perceive and interact with visual content. With South Korea leading the charge, the possibilities are truly limitless.

About the Author: Dominick

Dominick is an SEO expert specializing in SEO optimization for Korean-language websites, with over 5 years of experience in the field. His strengths lie in his technical capabilities stemming from his development background and his integrated approach covering both on-page and off-page optimization.

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | Babylon (2022)

by Don Hall

It's rare to meet a genius.

The term is overused like hero or trauma or dangerous. To meet a bona fide groundbreaker, a genius in his own right, someone who created something that history has dictated is important scientifically or culturally, is rare.

David Shepherd was one such genius in the world of theater. He co-founded The Compass Players back in the fifties which helped launch a movement that expanded into America's comedy culture unlike anything before it. He was a big thinker and contributed to the comedy scene that dominated decades of theater, television, and film.

In 1997, as someone who co-founded a tiny, ambitious, and adamantly contrarian theater in Chicago (home of The Compass Players and its offshoot The Second City), wandering into a bar after an improvisational comedy show I'd performed in and discovering none other than David freaking Shepherd drinking gin & tonics alone was astounding.

"Excuse me. I don't want to interrupt your night but you're David Shepherd, right?"

He looked up from his drink. His white hair was Einstein-esque in its huge mop. His beard was likewise white and unkempt. Behind his Harry Carey style glasses, his eyes were bright and filled with thought. "Yeah. Who are you?"

"I'm Don. I'm an improviser. I went to Second City. I... uh... I'm a big fan of your work."

"Improviser, huh? OK. Sit down. Join me for a drink. Tell me what you do."

I sat. Ordered a beer. He ordered another G&T. I told him about the weird Off Loop theater I had co-founded. I told him about my four years performing games with ComedySportz. I told him that I had worked for Second City as a producer of some of the stranger projects including a musical performance detailing the story of Fatty Arbuckle and his downfall from the debauchery of early Hollywood that eventually lead to the entire industry cleaning house before the talkies took over.

He told me about his early days with the Compass Players, his philosophies for egalitarian theater in general, his disdain for what Second City had become. We kept ordering drinks and he kept talking. I was enthralled by the time with an authentic artistic legend and tried to ask good questions and then sit back and soak in the wisdom.

At some point, perhaps 90-minutes in, he started to get sort of off the tracks. He had some ideas he wanted to share with me that I might be in a position to help him finance and produce. One of them involved getting hardcore Zionists and radicalized Palestinians to do improvised battles onstage. Another involved homeless people taking LSD and performing for unsuspecting audience members. A third would use actually shock treatment on performers just before they hopped up onstage to see how it affected their improvising.

He went on and on. He continued to order drinks for both of us. Four hours later, he drunkenly begged off, asked to borrow $20 for cab fare, and scratched his name but no contact info on a business card from a local dry cleaners. He handed it to me like it was payment or a relic or just something he found in his jacket and split.

He also left me a $200 tab.

They say that moments are memories and people are lessons. The lesson I learned from David Shepherd was that sometimes genius is just a stone's throw away from bugshit crazy. That meeting a legendary artist can sometimes result in paying for a meandering, long-winded bunch of pseudo intellectual bullshit by someone who has gone completely nuts.

Since coming to Kansas, my mom and I try to see a movie in the theater at least once a week. One of our games is to watch each preview and immediately give a thumbs up (meaning we're definitely going to see it in the theater), a sideways thumb (streaming), or a thumbs down (no chance). My sister comes with us once in awhile and she expressed that I'm an idiot—I go thumbs up for everything. She's not wrong. I am an idiot and I like to watch movies.

Mom and I were both excited to give our thumbs up for Damien Chazelle's epic Babylon. The trailer looked extravagant, funny, and dealt with that same early Hollywood I loved reading about. Margot Robbie, Brad Pitt, drugs, sex, and moviemaking? C'mon! Once it hit the screen, mom read about a lot of elephant shit and perverse sexuality and decided it wasn't for her. Undaunted, when Joe Janes came for Christmas, he and I excitedly went on a Monday afternoon. We both knew it clocked in at 189 minutes but, hell, Endgame was that long and I had three birthdays watching Avatar: The Way of Water and I loved both without even peeing mid-movie (an incredible restraint for a man in his mid-fifties).

Sure enough, there was elephant shit. Right out of the gate. The gag would've been funny but Chazelle let the joke of an elephant dumping shit on the head of a guy trying to push a truck up a hill for a crazy party that included a live elephant run on too long and the joke became just sort of disgusting. Yes, there was a lovely shot of a Fatty Arbuckle type getting pissed on by a starlet and the obligatory shots of a giant sex party (like Caligula with party favors). Anyone bothered by all of that doesn't really want to see a movie about early Hollywood unless it's Singing in the Rain, right?

Except that this film seems to have been conceived when Chazelle was watching the Gene Kelly/Debbie Reynolds classic, accidentally hit the remote and switched to Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream and he leapt from his chair and said "That's it! What if Gene Kelly was a drunken maniac and Jean Hagen is oversexed, self destructive, and basically a horrible human being? In fact, let's make every character a horrible person, leaving the audience with absolutely no one to connect with? For three hours and nine minutes with no real story but extended scenes that feel like torture. I'm a GENIUS!"

This is a film about Hollywood and the people who made it what it was. The protagonist/observer/narrator is Manny (Diego Calva), who rises from the transporter of the diarrheic elephant to that of a studio executive, and whose only character motivation is an obsession with Nellie LaRoy (Robbie). Nellie claims she is a star despite having no experience and an insatiable lust for mountains of cocaine and fighting a rattlesnake. Manny becomes a personal assistant to the reigning box office idol, Jack Conrad (Brad Pitt), while Nellie gets discovered at the party in the first reel. There are other characters, each sounding exactly one note and then disposed of in a strange, unsatisfying montage of Hollywood types rather than characters designed to forward any sort of action.

About two hours in, I did that thing I almost never do, and checked the time. How much longer is this train wreck? I did mental math and wondered if it was going to get any more interesting and, if not, could I exit and take a fucking nap until Joe was done watching it?

The film is not without some flashes of brilliance. A sequence involving Nellie trying to adapt to filming with sound for the first time (a dark, hostile version of Jean Hagen's "I can't STAN him!" moment), while quite long, is amazing to watch. Conrad, after watching the audience laugh at his Gene Kelly "I love you. I love you. I love you." moment, deciding, instead of a song and dance number, a pistol in his mouth is the appropriate gesture.

There may have been more but Chazelle decided to underscore almost every scene with some version of music from La-La Land. Joe didn't really notice it but once I did, I could hear nothing else (including the dialogue in a few scenes). After an hour of being beaten in the nuts with the same theme from a movie I barely liked, the black trumpet player who has quit the movies because he had to wear blackface so he wouldn’t look lighter skinned under the lights, goes back to jazz in a bar. He announces “I’m going play a song I used to play way back when,” and launches into the same goddamned theme from La-La Land and I had to restrain myself from jumping up and moaning the James Earl Jones/Darth Vader “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” from Revenge of the Sith.

The reactions to Babylon seem to be those like me, who would rather get punched in the face than sit through it, and those desperately trying to justify the genius if only to reconcile the time spent being bludgeoned by elephant shit.

When the lights came up, I looked at Joe and flatly stated "I hated that in every way." Joe nodded in agreement and all I wanted to do was to find the cutest, sweetest child in the cineplex and drop kick it into a wall.

At least Chazelle didn't want cab fare.

[gottagobuycheese]

if this is the last piece of wisdom I am every able to impart upon you, let it be this: 

check your email, and if you ever wonder if your emails have gone through, ask. 

[perestroika-hilton]

The thinly veiled disdain you all have for gnc men is astounding

Who cares if Harry styles isn't groundbreaking like candidly the "he's not doing anything new" takes outnumber the people saying he's anything remarkable like 10:1 and also like? Why? Why does a gender nonconforming dude have to be adequately transgressive? Why does he have to disclose his sexuality? Why does anyone

Just point and laugh and call him a faggot because that's frankly more respectful than the most terminally online 20somethings you've ever seen pulling out the term queerbaiting (words actually mean things who'd have known)

[fratboykate]

I'm sorry but you're the biggest hypocrite I've ever come across on the www it's actually hysterical bro. So u agree it's was a shitty ending and a byg trope and people should be mad at the showrunner and direct their criticism and hate towards them but in the same breath you're claiming it was a creative choice and tv writers have the right to change the ending of the book and go with their narrative lmao don't think we forgot about you motivating people to donate to those billboards back in 2016 when lexa was killed off and you were literally celebrating the fandom attacking the show and everyone involved with it lmfao so it was ok back then with t100 everyone involved needed to suffer because of what they did but now with killing eve it's embarrassing for you? You a flip-flop fake ass bitch who loves to use your brownie points when it's in your favor. It's embarrassing girl, stay stanning your canon marvel hets, you're nothing better than fucking supercorps and blarkes stanning your fanon ship while dragging the canon wlw ship, ugly rat.

Awwwwww, Big Baby is Big Mad. Poor thing. Honestly, sometimes I feel like some of you have humiliation kinks because there’s no way you would come in here and say dumb shit like this knowing you’re this wrong.

Since you simply don't seem to 1) know how to read and 2) forget the actual history we all lived through let me give you a quick refresher:

In The Flop we had:

-Basically half the writing staff gaslighting us BEFORE Lexa died straight up LYING and saying she wasn't going to die when most of us figured out she WAS going to die and we were like "Uhm…yo????" And they were like "SHE'S GOOD! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! STOP BEING PARANOID!" Not only were they actively telling us we "needed therapy" for being worried they were going to kill her on a year were literally RECORDS were being broken for WLW women violently dying on screen but they were GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY to invade queer spaces to reassure people that Lexa was fine. This was all WHILE.THEY.FUCKING.KNEW.SHE.WAS.DEAD.

-They hyped up the episode for WEEKS. They made a fucking spectacle out of it. Even after they KNEW people were worried about it. Even after the Benson sisters had entire fucking conversations with people in forums about how this would be terrible. Even after they saw queer woman after queer woman after queer woman die on TV that year. They made that episode sound like the most epic thing that would ever happen.

-And then……….and then they basically went JK WE DID KILL HER LOL YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG :) ……………………….AND THEN THEY DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR IT BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T THINK THEY DID ANYTHING WRONG.

So, yeah……more than one head needed to roll back then because it was a WHOLE CONCERTED EFFORT that went into this happening. Here it’s ONE (1) Person. The Lexa thing was a whole fucking slew of people who watched this shit unfold for WEEKS ON END and never put a stop to it. This time, the show is over. There is no point to any of this fucking childishness. There’s nothing to do. It’s finished. We actually had a mission statement. It was change the landscape of TV. We wanted to start a conversation and bring the BYG trope to light. That happened. What are you guys doing? Being assholes on the internet on a Tuesday for no rhyme or reason and changing someone’s Wiki bio to “Cunt”? Groundbreaking!

Now, onto the next point since you insist on talking out of your rectum:

“So u agree it's was a shitty ending and a byg trope and people should be mad at the showrunner and direct their criticism and hate towards them but in the same breath you're claiming it was a creative choice and tv writers have the right to change the ending of the book and go with their narrative lmao”

The way you have zero critical thinking skills is astounding to me. It’s truly a marvel to witness. You need to go back to school. Your teachers failed you.

Why are you conflating two COMPLETELY unrelated statements to turn into this fucking reach? Let’s look at the separate statements:

1) It is a shitty ending and a BYG trope. 2) writers have absolute liberties to make their creative choices and do whatever they fucking want with their narratives unencumbered to any and all outside pressures.

These things have nothing to do with each other. A writer can and has the right to do whatever they want. Absolutely. Them having the liberty to do what they want on their show because it’s their show doesn’t mean it’s going to be good writing or that it’s not going to be riddled with bad (or good tropes). WHAT?! How does your brain even work my dude? How do you even get from Point A to Point B?

Everyone here can attest I’ve ALWAYS said that Jasshole had the right to do WHATEVER the fuck he wanted to do with Lexa because she was his character on his show. My issue was never that he killed her. The fucked up thing and the thing that he should’ve gotten fired for was everything I talked about previously. He’s a piece of shit FOR THAT not because of what he did on his show. He’s a shitty writer and he wrote a shitty show but he still should get to do whatever he wanted to do on it because…guess what…IT’S HIS SHOW. Not a single one of us gets to dictate what happens on it. Period. Everyone who has been following me for years can attest that my tune has never changed on that. Ever.

You know, it’s funny to see queer women making fun of queer fanon ships when that’s all we had for a long ass time lol. That’s SO FUNNY. But don’t worry. I have zero shame in my fanon ships. That’s what fandom is for and I know I’m better than both those other ships you mentioned because I stay in my corner and don’t try to shove mine down anyone’s throats. I’m gonna be here unbothered. You stay being super brave and sending people messages like these on anon. I’m sure that makes you feel like a Really Big Girl.

[loving-villanelle]

Hey, do you have any advice on how to write to the BBC about KE? I wanna help but I'm useless at writing emails 😅

I'll include my email below. Please feel free to use as inspiration, but I ask that you don't just copy and paste. 1) I think it's important for people to get their own thoughts/feelings on the matter out and 2) I don't want us sending them form letters, they should be unique. But again, feel free to use it for some ideas!

I am reaching out to express concerns I have about the Killing Eve series finale. I am deeply troubled by the fact that a groundbreaking series like Killing Eve perpetuated the harmful trope of BYG. What is most frustrating is that this was a well-executed finale centered around the main characters until they decided to pull one of the most disgusting sequences I’ve ever seen and dared to call it art. Every detail of this ending was downright cruel. Tragedy for tragedy’s sake is not good storytelling. Sad endings can have heart, and this was unoriginal, brutal and crushingly vile. What’s even more troubling are the comments from the producer and show runner after the fact, describing this death as a “rebirth”, as though Villanelle's death was justified and the love between herself and Eve was a sin that needed to be absolved.

To be clear, no one is saying that it is not possible to write the death of a queer character, but it takes a lot of care and respect and must be done in a way that shows it is necessary to the story. An out of nowhere sniper attack that resulted in Villanelle being shot in the arms of the woman she loves and Eve screaming in agony as she watches her bullet ridden, bloody body disappear into the abyss served no purpose other than gross shock value. It’s not acceptable to FINALLY let two queer characters experience happiness, only to immediately kill one of them. It’s the same old song and dance of queer women find happiness then immediately suffer a horrific fate. This is a tired and harmful trope that has been perpetuated for far too long. It is astounding to me that we are still having this conversation in 2022. There was no victory in this death, only victimization. There was no meaning, only shock value.

The final minutes of the finale were heartless and used a harmful and tired trope carelessly. It was a slap in the face to Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh, who poured their hearts and souls into these characters and through their incredible talent built a devoted fanbase, it was a slap in the face to the characters of Villanelle and Eve, whose 4 season journey was discarded and thrown to the side like it meant nothing, and it was a slap in the face to the fanbase, who have spent years supporting the show and are partially responsible for it’s success. This has been traumatic for the queer community given the long history of meaningless violence committed against queer characters, who right after finding happiness end up losing their life only moments later. However, the backlash against the finale goes beyond the queer community. It is widespread across all demographics, and with Killing Eve being an international show, it is also worldwide.

This is unacceptable and the fact that it has been a week with zero comment from Laura Neal, Sally Woodward Gentle, AMC, or BBC America is just as unacceptable. You are under no obligation to pander to audiences, but you do have an obligation to support responsible storytelling and this was anything but that. You have lost my business until you take a firm stand and condemn Killing Eve for perpetuating the harmful (and TIRED) BYG trope. Until AMC and it's networks does this, I will be encouraging everyone I know to cancel their subscriptions and stay away from any AMC/BBC productions. Please take the first step and do the right thing by speaking out and FIX THIS. Condemn this harmful trope and hold Killing Eve/Sid Gentle Films accountable.

Thank you.

[atomicblasphemy]

Blight Industries Board Meeting

I have some thoughts about that EE episode. Being myself I just couldn’t put them out in a sensible fashion, so I put on some crust in my headphones, amped everyone’s cynicism, and here’s the result.

                                                       O: Good evening everyone and welcome to the Blight Industries board meeting of number...            

Ed and Em shoot glances at each other as confused about how they ended up there as when it happened for the first time.            

Al looks longingly at his workshop door.            

Amity glares.            

Am: Mom, can we try to have dinner like a normal family which, according to Merriam-Webster at least, we technically are? For once at least?            

O: That can wait, Mittens. Anyway, I called you all here to announce I shall be making some changes to our company. Namely, I shall change the job titles of the three of you. I’m still CEO, Alador still development, research and, well, the assembly line I suppose. As for you, Emira, Edric, you’re now in charge of security. I don’t want to hear about company secrets leaking out, okay? Mittens, you’re our new marketing department.            

Am: Marketing?            

Em: Seriously, mom?            

Od: Dearests, this is a meeting please use our appropriate titles.            

Ed: No no no no. They have a point. Okay, let me see if I understand your thought process. So, you’re the head of a company, right?            

Od: I don’t like your tone, Edric. But okay, I’ll humor you. Yes I am, go on.            

Ed: And said company essentially sells only guns.            

Od: Mhmm, what’s your point?            

Ed: And you think that the best way to convey that is by using your local annoyed teenage lesbian that half the time looks like she would be rather doing literally anything else? Is that a correct assessment, ma’am?            

Od: Oh, and I suppose you have a better idea?            

Em: Yeah, we do. ANYONE ELSE. We *frantically and repeatedly points her finger from herself to Edric*  could do this, I mean we tried to leak our sister’s journal just a few weeks ago so we clearly know nothing about keeping secrets. You could do it. I mean, no offense, but putting up a show seems to be your only useful skill because if this your idea of how to run a company, we... aaaaand now I’m suddenly starting to realize where we get our decision making incompetence from. Anyway. This guy *points at Alador* could do it if you just made sure to remind him that that’s what’s funding his little research. Heck, you could hire Luz. She’s pretty charismatic and just took a shot at the Emperor himself. I’m sure having someone like that vouching for our products would do wonders for our business. See? That’s how you make a half-decent marketing strategy. Besides, I hear Luz could use the money and I’m sure Mittens would be happy to have her working here.            

Am: Yup, normally I’d have other reasons but honestly I’d just be happy someone else is doing this particular job.            

Al: *woop there goes gravity* Why? I told you this wasn’t the best idea. Besides, we agreed, twice at least, that I would take care of the abominations and you’d be in charge of everything else *leans in closer to whisper conspiratorially to Odalia* I don’t like dealing with them *points at their very loving children*.            

Ed, Em, and Am: HEY!            

Al: *sighs* Listen to your boss, children.            

The children huddle closer, they are the conspiratorial ones now.            

Am: We’re gonna end up broke and starving, aren’t we?            

Em: Yeah, isn’t it weird though? I mean, you’d think they’d have found someone better to... sponsor by now. Apparently that’s not the case. Moreover, why do they, our parents I mean, keeping putting so many resources into product development then? And it’s not even like we’re branching out into new markets, making some groundbreaking products. Nope, just shinier versions of the old stuff.            

Am: Hum... Can either of you teach me how to write a resume?            

Ed: I... uh... was going to ask you the same thing.            

--------------------------            

Later.            

Em: Okay, let’s recap the recent events, shall we?            

Odalia and Alador were sat side by side in flimsy wooden chair at the factory’s storage area. Their children loomed over them with stern faces.            

Am: First off, you decided to entirely restructure the company, you know, the one with our name in it. And you did so by making all possible wrong choices. Especially putting me as the face and head of marketing.            

Ed: Then, secondly, when you realized that wasn’t working due to Mittens, justifiably I might add, wanting to do pretty much anything else with her time. So you two in a strike of parenting brilliance decide that the best way to deal with all of that was not to, oh I don’t know, hire some specialist or anything like that for the position and let her, and us, be teenagers like any normal parent would do. No, instead you think: “Hey, I’ll double down and alienate the one of my children giving me a hard time from the only people she seems to like.”            

Al: In our defense...            

Em: AND THEN, when one of said people decide to actually do something about, and in a very diplomatic fashion given the circumstances, mind you, you go ahead and try to commit murder in front of a large audience of potential witnesses. Granted, not a particularly morally upstanding audience given the type of products they were trying to buy, but still. Do you have any idea how many people would want a piece of you if you actually hurt the human? You have three of them standing in front of you right now.            

Od: Well, Emira dearest, you can’t argue with the numbers. Tonight’s sale was an astounding success.            

Am: And she still has her poise despite all the failures... Look, the three of us, we’ve been talking. We somehow are also part of the board, right? Moreover, we are, despite all evidence on the contrary, still employs of this company. So we put things through a vote.            

Ed: First off, we’re unionizing. And your first demand is better working conditions...            

Od: I’m not putting apple blood fountains in the factory floors. That’s off the table. I already told this Edric. The abominations take a surprising liking to the stuff.            

Em: We can discuss the specifics later. We have other topics at hand.            

Al: Okay, like what?            

Em: You two are out. Actually just you mom. We still need dad for development of new products and stuff.            

Od: WHAT? You can’t do this.            

Am: Let me rephrase what Emira said: you’re not CEO anymore. She is.            

Al and Od: EMIRA?            

Ed: Yes, Emira. I’ll be in charge of supply and distribution as well as any other duties dad still had besides research and develop. Mom, you’re the new Mittens. I mean, marketing. You’re in charge of marketing now. Just marketing and literally nothing else. I’m sure we won’t regret giving you this much responsibility. And, by the way. One mistake and we’re hiring Luz for the job. AND we’re giving her enough shares to sit at the board.            

Od: *starts chuckling while reaching for a small book in her vest* I can’t say I’m not angry at the three of you, but it is indeed nice to see you trying to take a more active role in the company. But there’s a big flaw to your little coup. You see, according to article 15 of the Blight Industries statute, Alador’s vote, as well as mine...            

Al: I’m voting with them, Odalia.            

Everyone else turns to look at him, wide eyed.            

Al: Look, I’m not ecstatic about this or anything. But at the end of day if Edric is taking half the load off my shoulders then I’ll have the more time in my workshop. And away from them. Odalia, don’t look at me like that, I told you the other day I was wanting us to develop magic powered air fryers. Now I’ll have the time for that. We can tap onto more markets this way, more money.            

Od: ... You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.            

Al: *sighs* How about Mittens, what will she do now?            

Am: Librarian. That’ll be my new job title.            

Al: We have no use for a librarian, Amity. You know that, don’t you?            

Am: I know. I’m not working here anymore. Gary had been telling me for some time about this internship opening. I start Monday. But don’t go thinking I’ll leave the board. I’m keeping my shares and besides, Ed and Em agreed to keep me as an adviser.            

Od: Oh look at our daughter, Alador. Going all out on that daily grind, making the minimum wage. Are you sure you can handle it, Mittens my dear?            

Am: Well, you paid me in passive aggressive comments and threats so far. I consider minimum wage a raise if anything.            

Od: Whatever you say... In any case. I suppose I’ll now be some sort of glorified secretary then.            

Em: What do you mean, mom?            

Od: Oh, right. You weren’t there at the time. We struck a big contract, big enough so we won’t need to worry about marketing for the foreseeable future.            

Em: What? HOW?            

Al: That uhh... That kid, what’s his name again? The new head of the Emperor’s coven. He came in after the sales ended, said we should go around building Frankenstein mercenaries, and that the Emperor would be buying all of our Thanos thingies aaand on top of that the state would fund all our future research.            

Ed and Em: Oh... Oh... Ohh Titan... Didn’t he get ahold of Eda’s portal? Mittens, we have to tell Luz.            

Am: *chuckles* Yeah, good luck with that, Emperor.            

Ed: I... Are you okay? Shouldn’t you be worried?            

Am: Eh... I mean... First things first. Yeah, I know he’s building an army to invade the human realm and yeah, I know we’ll be supplying the weaponry and that I should probably give Luz a heads up. But, you know. That’s pretty stupid of him when you think about it.            

Ed: What?            

Am: I mean, think about it. He is getting a supplier that he knows, for a fact, has a positive connection to his enemies. Meaning it would be in our interest - especially mine, you know, the other Blight with Abomination know how and the one closest to the one human living in the Boiling Isles, as proven today - to put some back doors in all the tech we’ll be selling them. Moreover... Sure humans don’t have magic but they make up for it in other ways. Luz was telling me about her realm the other day and... Well... Let me put it this way: we are not humans, meaning we are not covered by the Geneva convention. Best case scenario once Bellos opens the portal we, not them, become a colony. And humans don’t make a habit of treating their colonies with any decency. So, you know... Anyway. Worst case scenario, they’ll just start pumping napalm, anthrax, mustard gas, and all sorts of fun stuff chemical and biological weapons through the portal. Meaning we’ll die. Painfully. Heck, they can even make good on their anti-nuclear proliferation treaties and just throw it all here and make it go boom. Trust me, that alone will be enough to finish sinking the Titan.            

All the other four Blights look at her wide eyed.            

Am: Eh... But you know, I’ll go and tell Luz and Eda. Fir witchkind’s sake or whatever. So... See you guys later.            

Od: *shaking the shock away from her head* Oh... Quite a hurry to go and see Luz, aren’t we Mittens? *a sly smile forming* I’m sorry... I meant YOUR Luz.            

Ed and Em: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Damn, missed the joke.            

Al just nods in agreement.            

Am: What are you people talking about?            

Od: Oh, it’s nothing really Mittens, my dear child. It’s just that, you seem to be rather attached to her, aren’t you? In a very weird way, but still.            

Am: Weird? Weird how? You’re talking non-sense.            

Ed: No, Mittens, the lady has a point. I don’t get your thought process tonight either.            

Am: I have no idea what...            

Ed: No, seriously. I mean, no need to beat around the bush here: you have a gargantuan crush on her. That’s plenty obvious to everyone here.            

Am: *blushing* No comments.            

Ed: Whatever, I’ll take that to mean you do. So, you see your crush up on the stage. She’s fighting dad’s Thanos thingy. Which, might I add, was being controlled by him. Seriously, what the hell, dude? Is this a way to meet your potential daughter-in-law? Anyway. She’s potentially in mortal danger. And your first thought is: I’m gonna woo her.            

Am: That’s... not what I thought...            

Em: Yeah, Mittens. Sure. That’s why the first you did was to turn around and start climbing the ladders.            

Am: I... They were fighting up there, I wanted to get to close quarters.            

Em: Nope. Not buying it.            

Ed: We were watching it all unfold Mittens, you started climbing the ladders before, long before, they were up there.            

Am: But... the crowd.            

Ed: Dispersed pretty quickly, and knowing Abomination magic, as you do, you definitely knew Thanos would have that effect.            

Am: I... But... I wanted to fight close quarters... and I wanted... the higher ground.            

Em: So... You are up in the pipes, and by then Luz and Thanos are already back in ground level. So you position yourself in the spot with the best lighting and a means for you to quickly climb down - I swear, I’m certain I saw you double checking to make sure you were positioned just right. Then you take your sweet time pulling your hood back up. And finally, then and only then, you go to Luz’s rescue by using your magic. And you do that before you climb down, meaning your magic has enough range, as we’ve all always known, to be effective without the close  quarters or the higher.            

Ed: Come on, Mittens. Just admit it. You wanted to do a super-hero landing in front of your crush. Come on...            

Am: I... Do you think it worked?            

Everyone, expect for Amity, looks at Alador.            

Al: I dunno, why are you asking me?            

Ed: Because somehow out of all of us you’re the one most likely to pick up that sort of stuff.            

Al: Right, and I’m also the one least likely to care.            

Am: I’M YOUR DAUGHTER.            

Em: *taking a deep breath* Okay, lets pause for a second here. Ed, Mittens. Pat yourselves on the back. Come on, do it. Look, I’ll do it too. *begins  patting her own back in tandem with her siblings’ more tentative display*            

Am: Em... Why are we doing this?            

Em: For not succumbing to drugs and alcohol (shrewd ad campaigns on Twitter aside). *Edric and Amity begin patting their backs more enthusiastically, Emira turns to their parents* You know, you two. You should pat yourselves on the back as well. I mean, sure, we’ll need years of therapy to undo all the damage the emotional neglect the both of you show us has caused so far, but no one can say we don’t get plenty of variety.            

Al: Are you done being passive aggressive, Emira?            

Em: What can I say? I’ve learned from the best. *looks at Odalia, who just rolls her eyes*            

Al: *sighing* As for your previous question. The human seemed to be blushing as well. So my best guess is that Amity’s little... spectacle... did work.            

Od: See? And you dare say it was a bad idea to put her on marketing.            

Am: That’s because I had a reason to care when I was doing all that.            

Od: Ohh right, then what do you suggest I had done to make you care about our, emphasis on our, business.            

Am, Ed and Em in unison: Pay us for our labor.            

Am: I mean, seriously. You guys built a whole business model around Abominations: a.k.a. free labor. Sure you could afford to pay us, a.k.a. self aware creatures that are not (and I’ve checked this) Abominations, something.            

Ed: So... again to recap the day. Mom and dad lost their company, Bellos shot himself square in the foot. Hell, even this new coven head pretty much proved his lack of intelligence gathering competence by doing business with us. Today was a failure on every front. Even Luz when you think about it.            

Em: Luz?            

Ed: Yeah... She trusted... her *points at Odalia*.            

Em: Ohh...            

Od: HEY! I’m still your mother.            

Em: Nominally, maybe. Jury still out on that one. Anyway, that reminds me. I want all our financial books for the past five years i my desk, formerly yours, in two days.            

Am: I think my day was pretty successful. I have reason to believe my crush likes me back and I’ll know what a healthy professional and financial life looks like for the first in these 14 groolling and long years of existence. So things are looking up for me. Anyway... Are we done here?            

Am: I guess so, why?            

Am: Cool. Gonna head out.            

Em: Oh, going to let your Luz know of the Emperor’s plan and bask in her presence.            

Am: Emira, I swear in the Titan’s name that if you ever address her like that in front of her they will never find your body. But yes, that’s the gist of it.            

Em: Fine. Actually, wait up. Lilith is living there now isn’t she? I wanted to talk to her.            

Am: Lilith as in Lilith Clawthorne? Eda’s sister? Former head of the Emperor’s Coven? My former mentor? That Lilith?            

Em: Yup.            

Am: Why, pray tell, do you want to talk to her?            

Em: Wanted to hire her. We need a new accountant.            

Am: And you thought of her because...?            

Em: Lack of options?            

Am: I... You know what, fair enough.            

Ed: Hold up. I’m coming with. I don’t like being around them *points at Odalia and Alador*.            

Am: Sure.            

They leaving. Only Odalia and Alador are left in the room.            

Al: Wow.            

Od: I know.            

Al: Just... wow...            

Od: I know.            

Al: I don’t know how to process any of this. It happened all so fast.            

Od: I know.            

Al: Like... no sense of pacing at all.            

Od: I know, Alador. Titan do I know.            

Al: Almost as if everyone’s words were being written by an extra-dimentional entity that reaaally wanted to rant but didn’t want to put out their opinions in a more reasonable manner, and wasn’t even remotely concerned with making it sound like a normal conversation.            

Od: I know.            

Al: Anyway. We failed as people, didn’t we?            

Od: *sighing* I know.            

[whitehotharlots]

Privilege Theory is popular because it is conservative

Privilege theory, as a formal academic thing, has been around at least since 1989, when Peggy McIntosh published the now-seminal essay “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” Even within academic cultural studies, however, privilege theory was pretty niche until about a decade ago--it’s not what you’d call intellectually sound (McIntosh’s essay contains zero citations), and its limitations as an analytical frame are pretty obvious. I went through a cultural studies-heavy PhD program in the early twenty teens and I only heard it mentioned a handful of times. If you didn’t get a humanities degree, odds are it didn’t enter your purview until 2015 or thereabouts.

This poses an obvious question: how could an obscure and not particularly groundbreaking academic concept become so ubiquitous so quickly? How did such a niche (and, frankly, weird and alienating) understanding of racial relations become so de rigeur that companies that still utilize slave labor and still produce skin whitening cream are now all but mandated to release statements denouncing it? 

Simply put, the rapid ascent of privilege theory is due to the fact that privilege theory is fundamentally conservative. Not in cultural sense, no. But if we understand conservatism as an approach to politics that seeks first and foremost to maintain existing power structures, then privilege theory is the cultural studies equivalent of phrenology or Austrian economics. 

This realization poses a second, much darker question: how did a concept as regressive and unhelpful as privilege become the foundational worldview among people who style themselves as progressives, people whose basic self-understanding is grounded in a belief that they are working to address injustice? Let’s dig into this:

First, let’s go down a well-worn path and establish the worthlessness of privilege as an analytical lens. We’ll start with two basic observations: 1) on the whole, white people have an easier time existing within these United States than non-white people, and 2) systemic racism exists, at least to the extent that non-white people face hurdles that make it harder for them to achieve safety and material success.

I think a large majority of Americans would agree with both of these statements--somewhere in the ballpark of 80%, including many people you and I would agree are straight-up racists. They are obvious and undeniable, the equivalent to saying “politicians are corrupt” or “good things are good and bad things are bad.” Nothing about them is difficult or groundbreaking.

As simplistic as these statements may be, privilege theory attempts to make them the primary foreground of all understandings of social systems and human interaction. Hence the focus on an acknowledgement of privilege as the ends and means of social justice. We must keep admitting to privilege, keep announcing our awareness, again and again and again, vigilance is everything, there is nothing beyond awareness.

Of course, acknowledging the existence of inequities does nothing to actually address those inequities. Awareness can serve as an important (though not necessarily indispensable) precondition for change, but does not lead to change in and of itself. 

I’ve been saying this for years but the point still stands: those who advocate for privilege theory almost never articulate how awareness by itself will bring about change. Even in the most generous hypothetical situation, where all human interaction is prefaced by a formal enunciation of the raced-based power dynamics presently at play, this acknowledgement doesn’t actually change anything. There is never a Step Two. 

Now, some people have suggested Step Twos. But suggestions are usually ignored, and on the rare occasions they are addressed they are dismissed without fail, often on grounds that are incredibly specious and dishonest. To hit upon another well-worn point, let’s look at the presidential campaign of Bernie Sanders. The majority of Sanders’ liberal critics admit that the senator’s record on racial justice is impeccable, and that his platform would have done substantially more to materially address racial inequities than that being proffered by any of his opponents. That’s all agreed upon, yet we are told that none of that actually matters. 

Sanders dropped out of the race nearly 3 months ago, yet just this past week The New York Times published yet another hit piece explaining that while his policies would have benefitted black people, the fact that he strayed from arbitrarily invoked rhetorical standards meant he was just too problematic to support.  

The piece was written by Sidney Ember, a Wall Street hack who cites anonymous finance and health insurance lobbyists to argue that financial regulation is racist. Ember, like most other neoliberals, has been struggling to reconcile her vague support for recent protests with the fact that she is paid to lie about people who have tried to fix things. Now that people are forcefully demanding change, the Times have re-deployed her to explain why change is actually bad even though it’s good.  

How does one pivot from celebrating the fact that black people will not be receiving universal healthcare to mourning racially disproportionate COVID death rates? They equivocate. They lean even harder on rhetorical purity, dismissing a focus on policy as a priori blind to race. Bernie never said “white privilege.” Well, okay, he did, but he didn’t say it in the right tone or often enough, and that’s what the problem was. Citing Ember:

Yet amid a national movement for racial justice that took hold after high-profile killings of black men and women, there is also an acknowledgment among some progressives that their discussion of racism, including from their standard-bearer, did not seem to meet or anticipate the forcefulness of these protests.

Kimberlé Crenshaw, the legal scholar who pioneered the concept of intersectionality to describe how various forms of discrimination can overlap, said that Mr. Sanders struggled with the reality that talking forcefully about racial injustice has traditionally alienated white voters — especially the working-class white voters he was aiming to win over. But that is where thinking of class as a “colorblind experience” limits white progressives. “Class cannot help you see the specific contours of race disparity,” she said.

Many other institutions, she noted, have now gone further faster than the party that is the political base of most African-American voters. “You basically have a moment where every corporation worth its salt is saying something about structural racism and anti-blackness, and that stuff is even outdistancing what candidates in the Democratic Party were actually saying,” she said.

Crenshaw’s point here is that the empty, utterly immaterial statements of support coming from multinational corporations are more substantial and important than policy proposals that would have actually addressed racial inequities. This is astounding. A full throated embrace of entropy as praxis. 

Crenshaw started out the primary as a Warren supporter but threw her endorsement to Bernie once the race had narrowed to two viable candidates. This fact is not mentioned, nor does Ember feel the need to touch upon any of Biden’s dozens of rhetorical missteps regarding race (you might remember that he kicked off his presidential run with a rambling story about the time he toughed it out with a black ne'er do well named Corn Pop, or his more recent assertion that if you don’t vote for him, “you ain’t black.”). The statement here--not the implication: the direct and undeniable statement--is that tone and posturing are more important than material proposals, and that concerns regarding tone and posturing should only be raised in order to delegitimize those who have dared to proffer proposals that might actually change things for the better. 

The ascendence of privilege theory marks the triumph of selective indignation, the ruling class and their media lackeys having been granted the power to dismiss any and all proposals for material change according to standards that are too nonsensical to be enforced in any fair or consistent manner. The concept has immense utility for those who wish to perpetuate the status quo. And that, more than anything, is why it’s gotten so successful so quickly. But still… why have people fallen for something so obviously craven and regressive? Why are so few decent people able to summon even the smallest critique against it? 

We can answer this by taking a clear look at what privilege actually entails. And this is where things get really, really grim:

What are the material effects of privilege, at least as they are imagined by those who believe the concept to be something that must be sussed out and eradicated? A privileged person gets to live their life with the expectation that they will face no undue hurdles to success and fulfillment because of their identity markers, that they will not be subject to constant surveillance and/or made to suffer grave consequences for minor or arbitrary offenses, and that police will not be able to murder them at will. The effects of “privilege” are what we might have once called “freedom” or “dignity.” Until very recently, progressives regarded these effects not as problematic, but as a humane baseline, a standard that all decent people should fight to provide to all of our fellow citizens. 

Here we find the utility in the use of the specific term “privilege.” Similar to how austerity-minded politicians refer to social security as an “entitlement,” conflating dignity and privilege gives it the sense of something undeserved and unearned--things that no one, let alone members of racially advantaged groups, could expect for themselves unless they were blinded by selfishness and coddled by an insufficiently cruel social structure. The problem isn’t therefore that humans are being selectively brutalized. Brutality is the baseline, the natural order, the unavoidable constant that has not been engineered into our society but simply is what society is and will always be. The problem, instead, is that some people are being exempted from some forms of brutalization. The problem is that pain does not stretch far enough.

We are a nation that worships cruelty and authority. All Americans, regardless of gender or race, are united in being litigious tattletales who take joy in hurting one another, who will never run out of ways to rationalize their own cruelty even as they decry the cruelty of others. We are taught from birth that human life has no value, that material success is morally self-validating, and that those who suffer deserve to suffer. This is our real cultural brokenness: a deep, foundational hatred of one another and of ourselves. It transcends all identity markers. It stains us all. And it’s why we’ve all run headlong into a regressive and idiotic understanding of race at a time when we desperately need to unite and help one another. 

[mari-itami]

i didnt wanna make this post so late when nobody will see it at such tense times but i cant hold this off any longer. i want to talk about bna.

let me start off by saying that bna is not the groundbreaking, astounding work y’all think it is. did bna push themes of systemic oppression, and how some minorities (e.g. disabled people) arent accomodated for? yes! it did.

but the way it addressed these themes was conflicting, and it still managed to badly fuck up.

lets talk about nirvasyl syndrome. can anyone tell me why the minority stand-in has a built-in aggresive mode where they will ruthlessly attack anyone in sight, and transform into scary, violent versions of their beastmen form? can anyone tell me why nirvasyl syndrome is supposedly a result of the mixing of different beastmen? if you dont see the issue with that, it feels a lot to me like that translates to “mixed-race” in place of the “mixing of beastmen who as a result feel their territory’s invaded”.

and lets talk especially about how the antagonists of the show were beastmen themselves. the terrorists at the beginning are spared from harm, despite the amount of damage they could have caused - and theyre beastmen. pingua is angry and horrified at how not only have his family and all other migratory beastmen not been accomodated for, but shot and killed as a result, and yet he’s painted as a sympathetic criminal. alan is literally on track to eradicate beastmen as a whole - and then it turns out he’s actually one of them! why does bna have a pattern of showing the result of oppression of minorities, and then needlessly turning around and makinng the perpetrators be the oppressed minority stand-in themselves???? whats the fucking point here? whats the message being sent??? that we’re responsible for our oppression? that our anger, and our outcries in actions are wrong?

shirou telling pingua to leave, since he hasnt done anything wrong isn’t cute or romantic. shirou tells pingua to leave. and then what does he do? nothing. pingua’s dialogue resonates to an extreme degree, especially as of recently, becauses hes right - nobody does anything without being motivated to. remember how cities finally began to take action after riots and protests? pingua is angry, and justifiably so; after all, he spent his years campaigning for equal rights, and then found out that meant being restricted in his freedom. if what you take away from that scene, and shirou and pinguas relationship as a whole, is “aww cute boyfriends!” you need to wake the fuck up and pay attention to what the shows fucking fumbling to tell you. pingua, in fact, is the LEAST offensive, since hes let go and painted as more morally grey than an actual violent criminal or villain. i dont mean to make y’all cry and feel bad, but good god, really? really? thats what you took away? and it hurts, because i KNOW pinguas struggle. i know his fight. and thats not even touching alan, where his twist is not as much as a clever “gotcha!” as the show thinks it is - what the hell do you get out of maing the villain who wanted to commit fucking GENOCIDE AGAINST A RACE being PART OF THAT RACE???? and if you took away from that, from alan being allowed to live, was “awww shirous so sweet for not killing in front of michiru his baby daughter!” i suggest getting your fucking eyes checked. what you need to take away from that is “what the hell, studio trigger? why isnt the villain who wanted to eradicate an entire race punished?”. im done.

[bisexualhobi]

couple months ago i decided to try researching and listening to kpop and see if it’s something i want to seriously get into (thanks for your playlist btw it’s been really helpful!) at the start i avoided bts completely for obvious reasons but i kept finding myself gravitating back to them and i kind of came away from the experience more of a fan of them in particular than gaining a big interest in the genre itself, which i’m fine with tbh it was fun to try something new and i’m still going back to it every now and again to discover more sounds. but it means i don’t have a lot of context for how good they actually are in the world of kpop? people are either wildly defending their artistic integrity and how authentic they are or they are saying they’re pretty standard kpop fare and were never even that good and their newest stuff proves it. personally i definitely can see a drop in quality in their later stuff but i’m still pretty floored by their earlier albums in many ways like lyrically and sonically i like them a lot? i’m not too invested in defending them i personally really enjoy listening to them regardless of whether they’re even that good lol but i am curious where you think they generally sit as a group, you’re able to be a fan and be critical at the same time and that’s hard to find lol. they’re so popular and yet it’s very hard to find objective opinions. hope you haven’t been asked this a million times already sorry if you have!

hey! thanks for the question. i can only speak from my personal point of view but trying to be as objective as i can about this, bts are really really good and a standout in the kpop industry music wise, there's no denying that.

however they are not the best or the top by any means and they actually haven't brought anything unique or groundbreaking to the table in terms of music. they were just amazing at doing it right. their early sound (2013-2014) is directly pulled from black music, the BIGBANG print, and rap samples. it still slaps.

their peak was definitely HYYH and wings and that was directly pulled from indie music scenes both in korea and the US. the HYYH indie hip-hop and emo style was nothing new but in kpop it was still only starting and they got there first.

their LY sound is where things start going in a different direction and it's the direct result of foreign producers from europe and the US, a lot of white swedes etc which was a common practice in kpop. it's EDM influenced and vocally it's where they started using super heavy autotune.

in comparison, bts' discography is nowhere near as impactful and astounding as shinee, bigbang, infinite, vixx or even exo, in terms of musical heritage. their HYYH era is still their most masterfully done records and it's become sort of a blueprint for kpop groups who wanna go the indie route (ie. txt) but neither LY nor MOTS have reached that level of impact because they actually bring nothing new to the sound of kpop. they're still pretty amazing albums tho

in terms of "is someone doing it like bts" yeah there are at least three other groups who have the same level of artistry and are actually very similar soundwise, two of those groups are seventeen and pentagon. they're just not as famous as bts but they can hold their own against bts' discography any day of the week. if you really like bts then i can guarantee you 100% you're gonna like svt and ptg.

overall i would say bts is like in the second top tier of kpop relevancy musically speaking. they're REALLY good and their music is gonna be a legacy forever but it cannot be compared to other groups who simply brought better and more innovative proposals to the table.

they don't need to tho, since they are now the face of kpop forever

[badwolfe359]

Just Be

Another post 15x19 coda because I'm losing my mind waiting for the finale and this is my attempt at self-care

Read on AO3

Read on FF.Net

Everyone is back.

Bobby, Charlie, Donna, Eileen.

Everyone. Right back where they were when they got snapped.

Sam embraces Eileen, tears running down his face.

Charlie shoots a questioning look at Dean, a look that says what the hell happened? but he just shakes his head and pulls her in, blinking hard to keep from crying.

They make their way back to the bunker, feeling lighter than they have in...well, ever. The biggest bad to ever bad has been defeated and the new God is basically their son so, #blessed or whatever it is the kids are saying these days.

Sam disappears off with Eileen. Dean walks into the library and stops.

What now?

He should be happy.

He is happy.

They defeated Chuck. No evil hanging over their heads. No one pulling their strings. They're free.

Free to do what?

He collapses into a chair and stares at the initials carved into the table.

Everything he has been avoiding thinking about.

Everything he has been avoiding feeling.

There is nothing, now, to focus on. There is nothing to distract him.

His mind takes him back. To the despair he’d felt when they’d barricaded themselves in the dungeon. Realizing that Chuck had been responsible. That he was going to die there with Cas. That everybody was going to die. And he couldn’t do a damned thing.

And then the hope. When Cas had turned and started telling him about The Empty.

...

I made a deal to save him.

The shock at first, at hearing that Cas had made a deal. The worry that had risen up in him at what it could possibly be

The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness

The fear at hearing what the price was. And then confusion at why he was bringing it up now.

I wondered what it could be, because the one thing I want...it's something I know I can't have.

Possibilities flew through his mind. What is it that he wants that he can’t have? Getting his wings back maybe? Restoring heaven? Rejoining his kind in his home? Another thought crept forth but he had pushed it away. No way could Dean Winchester be the cause of an actual angel’s happiness.

But I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it.

Saying it. Saying what? What could Cas possibly have to say to Dean that would let him be happy? A small morsel of hope had begun to bloom in his chest but he tamped down on it. In no way would this lead there. In no universe would Castiel’s happiness include him.

I know how you see yourself, Dean.

No.

You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken.

No.

That's what drives you. That's who you are.

I AM broken. So what is this?

It's not.

No.

Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.

No.

That is who you are.

He was having trouble computing. The kernel of hope in his chest was expanding but his mind was still refusing to accept that Cas meant anything of what he was saying.

and ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me.

Knowing Dean had destroyed him. Knowing Dean had gotten him killed, made him weak, damaged and destroyed, vaporized and crazy and hunted and vilified. Knowing Dean had taken an angel that was capable of astounding feats and chained him to a life of pain and misery.

I cared about the whole world because of you.

There were tears sliding down his cheeks. Dean had never seen Castiel cry.

I love you.

His mind raced. How could this awesome, powerful, celestial being take one look at Dean Winchester and think he was worthy of this? How could this literal angel believe that sacrificing himself for Dean was even remotely the right thing to do. He begged Cas not to do it. Not to leave Dean with this. Because there was no way he could live up to the person Castiel saw him as.

A creeping, liquid sound from behind him made him turn and there it was, The Empty.

So it must be true.

He turned back.

Billie broke through the warding on the door.

He needed to say something.

What could he say?

Time was running out.

Goodbye, Dean.

...

He has thought a lot about it, in the intervening days. What would he have said? Words had never been his strong suit. He was a man of action. But there had been no time for that either.

He has never thought of himself as a good person. Has always figured his role was to hunt monsters so that other people didn’t have to. Spending forty years in hell certainly hadn’t helped in that regard and it had only gotten worse, first the Mark of Cain, then the Darkness. If there is one thing Dean knows, it’s that he is not, has never been, worthy of anyone’s love.

Especially not that of an angel.

And yet Castiel professing his love for Dean is what had called The Empty. It had made him happy enough for the deal to be completed.

When Chuck had looked up at him and called him a killer, it had thrown him right back into that quagmire of self-loathing except this time, the hope that had bloomed had taken root. He hadn’t really thought about it before he’d said it. That’s not who I am. It had taken him aback a little to realize that he actually believed it.

He stares down at the initials and pulls out his knife.

Footsteps echo in the empty halls of the bunker.

He looks up.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean sits, paralyzed.

“Cas.”

The angel smiles.

“How…”

“Jack.”

Dean stands on shaking legs, his breathing shallow.

“He told me what happened.”

He takes a few tentative steps forward, thinking for sure that any moment he is going to wake up or Cas is going to disappear or he’s going to turn out to be Lucifer…again.

“How you guys saved the wor-”

The hope that had been born the moment Castiel said out loud everything that they had been dancing around all these years, that had faltered when he’d opened the bunker door after it had carried him in a mad dash up the stairs, but had not died, that had instead, fueled him to keep going, to be kinder to himself, blooms so brightly and Dean picks up speed, careening into the angel and pulling him tight with everything that he has.

He lets out a stuttering breath. He can feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes but for once, he doesn’t try to hold them back. He feels Cas’s arms wrap around him and he sighs into it. He feels Cas’s eyelashes brush his neck and he presses his cheek against the angel’s hair.

They stand in silence, holding onto each other.

“You can have it.”

He mumbles it into Castiel’s trenchcoat. Cas pulls back.

“What did you say?”

Dean knows there are tear tracks on his face but he makes no move to wipe them away. It is time to stop running, time to stop deflecting, time to stop ignoring what is right in front of him. He’d just stood up to God, he can do this.

The angel in front of him believes he can do this.

“You can have it. All of it.”

Castiel frowns and his head tilts. Dean laughs and rolls his eyes.

“I love you too, you idiot.”

Cas looks shocked, his eyes wide. And then he surges forward, and Dean meets him in the middle.

It isn’t groundbreaking or earth-shattering. There aren’t fireworks, or cannons, or explosions. 

It feels like watching the highway stretch out into the sunset with the windows rolled down.

It feels like that first sip of water had after he’d clawed his way out of hell.

It feels like sitting on a dock in the sun, fishing.

It feels calm and serene and perfect. Like everything has slotted into place and the world has let out a great sigh of relief.

They’re interrupted by Sam’s pounding footsteps.

“Hey, Dean! Have you seen-”

He cuts off as he skids into the room and stops.

He stares at them. They stare back, Foreheads pressed together and Dean’s hand still on Cas’ cheek.

“Cas.”

“Hello Sam.”

Sam lets out a few shocked breaths before his face breaks into a wide grin.

“About fucking time.” He lets out a soft laugh of relief.

Dean lets out a laugh too, closing his eyes and pressing a kiss to Cas’s forehead and then turning back to his brother.

“You wanted something?”

“Not important,” he shakes his head, “I guess I’ll leave you guys to it.”

He turns to leave and then turns back.

“I’m really happy for you guys.”

Dean tamps down on the instinct to turn and run from the sheer volume of emotions currently happening in his vicinity and instead nods.

“Thank you Sam.” Castiel answers for the both of them.

“It’s good to have you back Cas.”

“It’s good to be back.”

Sam looks to Dean.

“Hey, Dean?”

Dean braces himself for whatever is about to come.

“Yeah?”

Sam’s eyes soften.

“I’m proud of you.”

The urge to run from the moment is strong but he fights against it and nods, his eyes swimming with tears. Castiel’s hand squeezes his shoulder and he feels safer, braver.

He clears his throat.

“Thanks.” He says softly, looking back at his brother.

They share a moment before Dean has had enough and breaks eye contact, “Now get out of here, bitch.” He is only so strong.

Sam chuckles, “Whatever, jerk.”

He disappears off into the halls of the bunker with one last smile. Dean turns back to Cas who is looking at him like he is the center of the whole universe. Dean feels that warm swell of hope calm to a placid ocean of love and he lets himself just sit and bask in it.

No more running.

Happy to just be.

[theheroheart]

New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete:  “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him.  (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.