#not bashing the writers ofc you can write whatever you want but like

[marsystars]

Take a shot every time a fanfic oc or y/n is really insecure and awkward but the love interest is utterly obsessed with them

[ghostgirl101]

hey, i really like ur writing and idk if ur working on something rn but when you can and if you want to, could you possibly write some ben drowned x reader kissing headcanons? (only if u r comfortable w/ that ofc!) ur literally my favorite writer on this app nd i literally read everything u post lol so even if u don’t do this ty anyway and have a nice day/night and take care of urself!!🩷

Kissing BEN Drowned Would Be Like This:

A/N: Sure, I'm comfortable with that; this is kind of a whole affection headcanon thing, which I've only just realised now I'm reading it over 🙃 I'm glad you like my writing, hope you enjoy this one, take care of yourself too 😀 Also, should I start making a taglist for my creepypasta posts? If you're interested, let me know.

🎮• So. If you're expecting BEN to be an absolute gentleman who asks for your permission before giving you any form of affection, or is a bit bashful to initiate it...

🎮• Haha. Sorry.

🎮• I mean, he'd never push your boundaries or deliberately make you feel uncomfortable when you guys are being intimate somehow, but he's not gonna be shy about it. That's because it takes a bit of time for him to warm up to the idea of physically coming out of the screen and materializing himself enough for you to hug him and everything safely, without getting electrocuted or whatever.

🎮• Another factor is that after all he's been through, the idea of letting himself be that vulnerable around people is a bit of a daunting one, even if it's you, someone who he's learned to trust and get close to until it gets to this point.

🎮• So, well done to you, for earning the ultimate sign of trust from this maniac virus boy. Chances are that after you hint at wanting to be able to kiss him or something, he's gonna act all teasing and dismissive about it, but what you don't know is that the thought stays in his mind after you've finished up on the computer and gone to bed. He watches you silently from the camera on your open screen (that he's insisted you keep open for him to check in on you) and lets the idea of it grow into a nice, tempting one.

🎮• So get ready for yet another burst of an adrenaline rush as BEN gives you the scare of your life when he comes crawling out of the screen as you wake up in the morning, scattering your desk trinkets and stuff all over the place in the process. BEN has very pale blonde hair in his humanish form, almost white, and even paler skin, with empty black and red eyes, sometimes glitchy... you probably know already. BEN's eyes bleed lightly even when he's not upset, but seem to gush blood when he is. But even with the whole horrifying appearance, somehow, he manages to make himself look handsome. Don't tell him, though, or he'll tease you about it and probably won't ever forget it.

🎮• When you get over the initial shock of him literally just spawning into your room, he stays completely indifferent, if not a bit amused, because isn't this what you wanted? It's not like he bites. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

🎮• BEN is a bit apprehensive at first, because, let's be real, you're his first kiss. His life was twisted into an electronic form when he was really young, and so human touch is almost a completely foreign experience to him at this point, so he will start slow. He might flinch a couple of times, but dismisses it and tells you to go on, that he wants to get used to it. And he does.

🎮• When he does, that's when you've got his chaotic bursts of affection energy to deal with. He loves catching you off guard; you could be doing anything, working or hanging around or whatever, and then he's suddenly there behind you, and you get the tiniest of electric shocks as BEN grabs you effortlessly and refuses to let go for a solid five minutes while you fidget in his glitching but strong arms and glare at him.

🎮• The first thing you'll end up doing is hugging, because he likes the feel of being close in somebody's arms in a way he didn't think he could be before. You're warm and he's consistently cold, leading to you having to slap at his hands when he slides a hand down your back or something bratty just to make you squeal and shiver. They draw out into cuddle sessions, another thing he likes, and will ultimately go soft over. There have been many times when you've managed to fall asleep in BEN's arms, and that's one of the rare times where he'll let all his guard down and fiddle with your hair or play with your jewelry or just stare at you with a newfound feeling of protectiveness and fondness.

🎮• Now for the actual kissing part 🙃 I need to say that it really isn't a first "kiss." It's the first of many long makeout sessions, because BEN will drag it out as much as he can, and then stop abruptly when you least expect it, just to be a tease and wanting more. I see it happening when you're rambling about something or other, and he's out in the real world instead of in a screen, when you realize that your faces are inches apart, and he has a blank, frustrating unreadable look on his face.

🎮• And, before you can say anything, he'll take the plunge before he can think about it any more, leaning in and brushing his lips against yours, but waiting for you to accept it and move in too. It starts off surprisingly soft and sweet, until BEN starts getting addicted to the new, intimate sensation, and tries deepening it. Then it's less sweet and more intense, and (sorry for the cliche lol) electric. He tastes kind of appley, and his lips are cold and soft. BEN will carry on going, further and further, to the point of you ending up breathless and him pulling away with a stunned look on his face. That look morphs into his usual mischievous smirk after he recovers in a few moments, and he raises a brow in amusement at your wide eyes and swollen lips, probably with a snarky little "Not bad."

🎮• After you've done it once, you're gonna end up doing it a whole lot more. There are hardly ever any proper warnings apart from BEN gradually moving in closer and being more teasing and flirty, or on sadder days where painful memories of the past come creeping back to haunt him, a source of comfort and reminder that he's still here and has another reason to be alive and basically immortal. It's not just to drive people to insanity and infect their systems with disturbing things until they crack, or whatever other motives he has. Now, there's you, someone who he's decided he needs to look out for and be with in any possible way.

🎮• Like I said, kissing BEN Drowned usually ends in suggestive makeout sessions and the like, because that's just BEN all over. But they're one way he's discovered he can show he cares, and so he'll keep doing it if you want him to, without any hesitation. Realistically, the boy is beyond touch starved, and so that all pours into the affections he gives you. To anyone else, he's a twisted, demon-like boy who makes peoples' lives hell by getting into their heads through ways they can't control, but to you and you only, he'll let himself become more and more vulnerable, until you see that really, he still was and is Ben.

[royrockstone]

heyy

not really a question, just wanted to give you some flowers

ive been reading your stuff for the past three weeks and im so glad i came across you cause i didnt think id find a writer in the succ sphere that can write roman in a way that won’t annoy me LOL (tbf i did find very few others since then but youre my fav) also it’s so hard to get a laugh out of me with writing and i totally belly laughed a few times, you’re fucking funny

idk i think youre pretty brilliant and get the characters so well its almost unbelievable at times

and jesus christ i love the way you write ed stuff, i was thinking about it watching the show but you just gave it a whole new dimension 

i still didn’t read everything, don’t want to binge it and then be sad. 

actually i do have a question, do you have any personal writing outside of fic realm? or ever considered writing whatever original stuff? well regardless i think you’re insanely good at imitation and a few dialogue moments feel like a memory of the canon show in my head 

k that’s it :))

this was so SO kind (to the point where i kinda didnt want to answer just to keep it in my inbox ) thank you for taking the time to write out your thoughts and send them my way!! 

beyond glad to hear you think im funny and a Roman Understander— that's everything i want to hear <33

re: the ed stuff, i tend to bring a “hm getting a lot of ed vibes from this” mindset to a lot of media 😭 (and we live in a disordered culture! most media with something to say about the world has something to say about food and bodies) but its ofc become clear over time that its incredibly intentional in succ! which is a win for me but also. a devastating loss emotionally. and it adds a ton of depth and dimension to its stance on wealth, gender, trauma, personal identity and family dynamics. im glad to hear that the way i write it hits the mark for you <3 (truly my biggest flex is that i was an ed!roman truther from before the esquire interview. i saw the dog pound scene and went “hm. rexie vibes.” and never looked back.)

i know there will be fewer eyeballs on it after the show ends/once the post-finale glow (or anger, but hopefully glow!) wears off, but i have a few more ideas i want to bash out abt these characters before i pack it up, so you’ll get more content even if you finish all thats currently out there!

 SCREAMING that someone would like my fic enough to ask about my non-fanworks writing. actually screaming. dream come true! ok ok i Do have a personal writing practice. ive been published a few times in cultural criticism (and one poem lol. nothing earth-shaking, as its something im relatively new at and haven’t put a ton of effort into yet) id also be happy to dm you some critical writing ive done that deals with ed themes if thats of interest! like most mediocre prose writers, ive dreamed about writing a book. and im currently writing a screenplay (my la-era roman slay) but i don’t rlllly expect that to go anywhere since Everyone has written a screenplay (ive mentioned it obliquely on here before, but its thematically centered around dancers/theater/the political economy of the culture industry/the legacy of aids in the arts) but yes, if im talented at anything, its mimicry (thats why i tend to write in fandoms with rlly specific, imitable dialogue styles and tones- succ, veep, the secret history) so i understand if people would not be interested in my original writing.

ty for this ur very kind and i will treasure this ask foreverrrr <333

[thefudge]

Harry Potter question, do you or did you ever ship Hermione x Tom. Hermione x Snape. Hermione x Lucius. ? (I'm a Hermione fan lol)

aaaah this is a tough one, but super interesting (and i like her too!)

so here we go 

(after the cut cuz this got looooong)

in short, i dabbled in all of them to various degrees 

hermione/tom - in theory, i should like this pairing a lot, but i have a lot of issues with the way they are written together; aka they’re either portrayed as incredibly beautiful genius sex gods, or hermione is weak and constantly thwarted by tom’s sexy moves. there is some good fic out there that explores what it would actually be like if these two had to butt heads, but it’s hard for me to find this dynamic written the way i feel it, which is very solipsistic of me i know lol. it’s also a tough ship to get right, imo. because tom/voldemort has no reason to be that impressed with hermione. yes, she is brilliant and cunning, but i think tom is faaar more fascinated by emotions than intellect, ironically. he has a slew of talented wizards and witches around him, but he doesn’t care a fig about them. meanwhile, he’s constantly cursing harry’s resilience and humanity because he craves it. he’s more drawn to folks who thrive on unconditional love. it’s reaaaally hilarious when u think about it. but i don’t hate it? i just think it’s a tough ship to get right. i was into it in high school, but i shipped tom/ginny more because ginny has no business impressing him ahahahah

hermione/snape - once upon a long-ass time i was definitely taken with this ship because it used to be the It Ship in the olden days. if you were around circa 2003-2004 on livejournal and ffnet and schnoogle? HOO MAN, this was where you found the BEST angst and smut, hands down. i think we all had a snamione phase, it’s like part of growing up. the older i got, tho, i just…got bored with it, which is super sad! i think maybe it’s the fact that you can’t take this pairing into many directions. it’s mostly about hermione “healing” snape and giving him a second chance to repair the damage with lily. oh, and snape also empowers her intellectually. mmmkay. that’s nice. yawn. i mean! it’s great! but….yawn? listen, hermione is brilliant, but can we quit it with making everything about her intellect? 90% of snamione fics are about him helping her win the nobel prize or some shit like that, i swear to god, you got fics with titles like “Euclidean geometry and the arithmancy algorithm” or whatever, and it’s mostly these two nerding out and saving the world with their massive intellect. and that’s rly cool! i’m so glad there’s a space for that!  but….can we…take a break from all that studying? my 15 yo self felt like i should be doing homework when i read about how hermione was breaking her back trying to prove to snape how goddamn proficient she was, sweating and toiling over her cauldron. it’s almost like saying “if you don’t exhaust yourself intellectually, you’re not worthy of snape”. and that was a real bummer. also, in a lot of those fics hermione and snape were super shitty to the poor idiots who did not understand their super complicated invented algebra. a lot of needless ron bashing too. ANYWAY. this ship will always have a place in my heart but it’s too stagnant for me and doesn’t take me anywhere new. (i do remember a great old fic where hermione developed an eating disorder because she was exhausting herself intellectually, trying to be absolutely perfect, and snape actually helped her return to her goddamn senses and made her take a break, lol that was one of my faves tbh)

hermione/lucius - ha okay, ironically the ship i like the most in this line-up. back in the day, fanfic for this pairing was kiiiind of cringey since it involved a super angsty lucius who had to torture a slave!hermione and get her to accept voldemort as her lord and saviour… eh. it was messy and little of it was actually nuanced and good, sorry folks. but!! this ship has matured together with its dedicated writers and it has weirdly become one of the more nuanced hermione pairings out there. i think once the dust settled on this series, big ships like dramione and snamione dried up a little bit, while the smaller ones flourished. so i’ve seen rly cool takes on lucius malfoy post-series as an older guy who fucked up his life and his family and has to reckon with that, especially since he was never committed to the cause like bella, but his pride would never let him ask help from the order. lumione (?) is also a slightly more relaxed ship cuz u dont have lucius making her work on quadratic equations for fuck’s sake (lookin at u, severus) and he also wouldnt overwhelm her with his sexy evil plans (lookin at u, tom). like he wouldn’t expect sooo fucking much of her, you know?  though ofc there would be sniping and antagonism and blood prejudice etc so there’s a lot to unpack. but fanon-wise? yeah, this ship wins lol 

in general, the more i look back, the more i think that all of these ships just put too much fucking pressure on hermione to be this be-all and end-all of the harry potter universe, especially in terms of brains. as someone who was constantly insecure about intellectual prowess growing up, to have to read hundreds of fanfics where she was constantly humiliated and put to the test by these “brilliant” men felt really disheartening to me. i enjoyed some of it, but a lot of hermione fics left me exhausted. hermione had to do so much emotional and intellectual labor just to be allowed to touch a mediocre dick? SPARE ME lol. 

and i realized a lot of the girls/women writing those stories were “hermione’s” too, or obviously identified as such (me included). and they must have believed that they too could only be worthy of a dude’s attention if they became the next marie curie. it’s like “if i work hard enough, i’ll be the equal of the pretty, bubbly girl”. cuz this is the really whack, misogynist, self-defeatist narrative a lot of us were raised on. and it showed in the goddamn hermione fics where she can only squeeze a tiny bit of pleasure if she works herself to the bone.

fuck that. 

so yeah, this kind of makes me ambivalent about many of these big ol’ ships and whether, if we want them to move forward, we should change our optic about what hermione represents to a lot of us 

lol sorry this got away from me  

[wolfwhiteflowers]

how to block a fandom.. ugh sigh  vvv

trying to not be so involved in the fandom or so. idk how. (winter hiatus is gonna be hell) 

everyone’s keep bashing on the show and saying mean stuff. be careful what u wish for.  

it’s gonna be fine. it’s just a show, u can do whatever with it, quit it, not take it seriously, or just #anti-

~~~~~~

i guess when a show is old and changing..or there’s a big fandom on online, there’s more fandom wank than I’m used to think there was before(the 1% theory). I’m more on the unpopular opinion-side (I always do). More bitter people and I feel like they’re missing out on some cool stuff that is still there, but they’re too bitter and impatient to see it. Fandom...internet places...people are generally negative? (people don’t like grey angsty arcs) Anyways, i just wanna focus on the positive stuff when i go online or to think. I understand some just wanna chat and rant, and some have other different reasons why they go online etc.

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ok so i think u just limit to a lot of fandom things. some rules..? this is hard to do. just don’t go on it so much.

-***most of the time, people/fan don’t need the fandom. Fandom is just on the side. I feel like being part of the fandom is like being part of a group or family and just helping people out. It’s like you’re just making up extra time to help/squee/argue people. Idk ..I can not be part of the fandom. //Fandom seems to care about being right, shipping, fave’s attention. Not much on analyzing on story. People suck. -Give a F*ck budget, money, time, energy.

-****try to avoid places where u see people’s opinions(comments/posts) all the time or just view it in short time. (also avoid negative rude people ect. -only read on positive people’s) It’s hard because fan forum sites, there’s great convo/analyzing/meta discussion in there that u sometimes don’t see in it like tumblr. But, lately i see people hate-watching commenting. (like “ofc, showrunner does this.” “i hope rating goes down so my fave actor can have a better job opportunity, or show it in showrunner’s face my ship is better than the notp and the spotlight.” ..really a lot of fans say the same things in any fandom. is it even true? )

-kinda..avoid stans...shipper stans. they only care about a ship. ok that’s kinda harsh..but yeah they’re most likely to be bitter because the show focus on other characters/ships too. Also, skim past the dramatic/jealous-like posts. 

-..idk why, but people like to compare all the time. criticize and judge quickly. like ok....why not both (fave ships)? Why compare faves? Good thing the show is just focusing on everyone..ok. Oh, and the whole this character is “weak” ok ..so say it to a disabled veteran or an abused wife. sigh. I don’t want to see a show with perfect strong superheroes. BORING! This show is not a boring video game. idk..some people don’t think ...critically or long-term.. like come on..this show, most shows are about characters and them being strong emotionally and physically in their challenges. Also, another thing, idk why fans focus on what the writers are saying but not thinking on the other characters too. Like if the show focus on a character apologizing to another character. That character who apologized= fandom hates him/her. But this other character who is a dick but the show doesn’t address it and doesn’t redeem him/her = fandom doesn’t care or notice it. Another is that fandom don’t like complex character...female characters blah blah. Idk what’s my point here. fandom popularity? so just know that sometimes fandom is just so immature, annoying and rude. So, try to avoid it.

-not a lot of people are overall-fans, so...there’s more wank for me to see it. same with being a multi-shipper, i see more wank too. Like me shipping c@ryl and r!chonne. boy, i see hate on all of them on per character. (because people who don’t like c@ryl are not r!chonners...but they may also ship r!chonne. idk why it’s c ship vs. r ship. it’s just ABD/C shippers.)

-oh, thing about generalizing. People love to generalize. sigh. I should try not to be so sensitive in the fandom or I’m so caught up in fandom wank. i should not take it seriously when people generalize...anyways people generalize things and that always create drama/fandom wank. omg. ugh. Sometimes, these people are ones that just plain assholes. So, block them. Sometimes, it’s just they said it wrong and/or thought it wrong. So, idk. Try to say “IMO,...” “Some shippers...”

-idk if it’s accurate...but my theory or what i heard..is that the show is the showrunner’s/writer’s show. It’s not mine and it’s not the fans’ show. Everyone’s have different likes and wants. Writers can’t please everyone. I heard that it’s good that the showrunner’s stick to what s/he wants because it’s their story and it’s not giving fanservice to please different types of people all the time.If they keep pleasing other people, it makes the show inconsistent and frustrating. Criticisms is ok but I think showrunners know and see it and they decide what to do with it. 

- ratings. ok so that’s hard to handle. it’s just part of being a tv fan. it’s all show business kind of thing. just be realistic. show’s gonna end someday. hopefully there will be a good conclusion and how the writers want it to go for the show. nothing’s goes fair and perfect on shows. (like there’s actors leaving or canceling) I don’t believe in those theories on changing writer’s minds on character/ships and stuff.

-putting words into actor’s/writer’s mouth. i hate that. These fans are obviously biased and ..like entitled-fans. (kinda like bad irl shippers too) This annoys so much. No one knows what the actors/writers are really thinking. That’s their personal life and they have their own personal opinions. so, saying this actor wants to leave because the show sucks, character is not focused as much, or they hate their co-stars. It’s soooo dumb and so rude. u don’t know them. what if the actor wants to leave because of sick family or just want to change careers or whatever. I just would rather have the facts and actor’s statement to say what really is going on. I don’t wanna theorize on biased-rumors. I also..just not into actor’s life. Like I’m not into idolizing actors/other performers etc., because I just don’t know them fully and ..it always end up disappointing..(like omg she smokes? omg she’s a drunk driver? omg she got married to that guy eew why?). So, idolize ..a little. My point is..idk just skim past the entitled fans...

-i like this advice from someone, ... go to #showedits Maybe even go to #showspoilers.( Well to look at overall of the show and gifsets. but there’s still wank, so idk.)

-i feel like idk what to think about the show because i feel like I’m worried about the fans’s feelings/thoughts and wonder what’s their reactions will be this time after an ep aired. I’m so caught up on fandom that idk what i myself like on the show or think what’s right. ....So I take a moment to myself and think on what I like and don’t like in an episode. Write out your feels! ...don’t need to have the fandom anyway.

-always ask, do i still trust the writers? Does my fave characters still in-character and I understand where the story or season’s story is going? Do I still like it?// Just know what kind of show it is. it’s just a show on that day to watch. maybe not get so invested next time. Or, to quit the show, find a spot in the show and say that’s my finale ep of the show for me. ..and there’s fanfictions. just make one up in ur head, an ending, and then move on. These are all fictional stories, you can do whatever with it.

-if ya wanna rant negative. imo, i like to just write it out and tag it #anti- and put it under ‘keep reading’. idk, deal with it, on what the show is, realistically. grieve it. it’s ok to quit a show. /////sometimes, when im confused of the plot and get mad at the writers, sometimes it’s best to wait it out...sometimes the writers already know about the “problem/drama of the plot” and they make sense later on.

-focus on what u like about the show. Do fan art! look at fan art, read fanfiction, and fan videos! Write it out on what u like and speculate. get it out of ur chest.

-during hiatus, there’s more fandom wank. sometimes, just wait a day, the wank is not there anymore. so, do fan art, or just go look into another show and stuff. take a break.

-having unpopular opinions. oh well. what the majority say isn’t always right. idk just shrug and be proud of ur thoughts or crack ship. if it’s like unpopular opinion on the show’s writing, then keep in mind, and maybe the show isn’t for you and that’s ok. *it’s all what the writers want to do. The majority doesn’t know and change the story atm. This part seems to be the hardest..cos u can see majority’s opinions all the time and everywhere. Usually negative sigh. So my tumblr dashboard ..is all mostly one fandom-fans. eh. so i see a lot.  Just keep scrolling and know ..that person from that fandom, probably complain about something. 

-most importantly, I tell myself, “do i still like the show? Do I still wanna watch and see how it goes?” Then if yes, then so it is. It’s all about me..if I still like the show. My time, money, care.

-tired of negative talk of anything. sigh. idk. (why do they repeat the same thing and say it 25,375 times? nothing’s changed. it doesnt help me or u. just deal w/ur crap feels now and get it over with.) (some say it’s bad writing when it’s just something they don’t like. something minor. complain easily. basically..it’s just that it’s the writers’s show or they forget it’s a season-long arc.) i guess go elsewhere . fanart.

[jikook-love]

I wanted to ask since ur a writer as well, why some writers feel offended by comments when those r directed to the characters? I used to write 4 yrs ago & I made a character bad, I didn't mind ppl disliking him coz he was mean. Even if I write him nice but making mistakes I still expect ppl to be angry with his mistakes. It shows that ppl r involved in the story it doesn't mean they're bashing me or the real life person. I don't get why some writers take it so personnal?

haha, I wouldn’t call myself a writer really...yet, at least. I’m getting better though, as I am starting work on original work ^^ But rather than giving you advice as a writer I will give advice as an avid reader, which I definitely am proud to be ;) 

I’ve never personally seen a writer get offended by an insult to a character. Usually, it’s a misjudgment that causes the upset, i.e. I portrayed him/her to be this way with this that intention yet you saw him to be a different way. However, once you put any kind of work out I think one would have to agree that that work is open for interpretation, and different people have different experiences and will rationalize certain actions by certain characters differently. 

However, I will acknowledge that some of these things are done entirely on purpose and are meant to evoke a sense of hatred or displeasure, because it makes the reader immerse themselves more into the story. This is precisely why the concepts of “dramatic irony” and “irony” itself exist, to make the reader/viewer (if it be a play or show of some sort) feel extremely frustrated as they know things the characters do not know. Those who watch a lot of TV or read a lot of books know this. 

As for characters, sometimes the author makes it obvious who the bad guy--sometimes it’ s not so obvious. Take Jane Austen, for example, most revered for her portrayal of Lizzie Bennet, a person who pretty much every young lady would want to be like upon reading. And then she writes “Emma”, and I believe she herself said something along the lines of “I wrote Lizzie Bennet to become the character everyone would love and Emma to the become the character everyone would hate.” And of course, it wasn’t obvious Emma was meant to be like that--she was the female lead of the same person who wrote P&P ofc she couldn’t be bad psh. And mean she did a few things that bothered me but that doesn’t mean she’s bad...right? It goes to show that it’s hard to know an author’s intentions at times, and we should just be allowed to read as we interpret. 

But I digress. Because fanfiction, to me at least, is yet another different category of writing. It’s meant to approachable, easy-going and just something you pick up before the night ends. Most importantly, it takes characters that already exists and the image of whoever that is is already set up for you. This is where it becomes iffy. For example, how would you feel if I wrote fic about Jimin and Jungkook trying to get together and Taehyung is this horrible friend who does whatever he can to keep them apart and gets mad at them on a daily basis? Yes, it’s “fictional”, but immediately you tie this character I wrote to Kim Taehyung’s real character, and would accuse me of seeing him as this horrible person when he’s an actual puppy irl etc etc because this person actually exists. And you would think that this is also how I feel about Tae irl, even if it wasn’t. So to answer your question directly, I think people get offended because these characters are based on real people, and a misinterpretation of a character based on this person would mean misinterpretation of that person in real life, so it makes complete sense as to why this would happen. 

“I made him to be that way...you can’t just change it cause you read it differently.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 29

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                 A/N : Thank you so much for waiting for us guys. I’m sorry it took so long to get out. You know how life can be.  I hope this was worth the wait. More is coming soon.

                                      Mo Astor Chapter 29

Lee

“You receive any strange emails lately?” Journee asks as she peers at me over her burger.

I roll my eyes. “No.”

She narrows her gaze and studies me. I can lie with the best of them, but not to Journee.

“Good.”

“Whatever Juicy did shut him down. I’m guessing he got tired of thinking up new ways to dick with me. Punk ass kids.”

Journee snorts. “Too much time and technology on the hands of the youth these days.”

“Pretty sure your son would know all about that, Ma.”

She sticks her tongue out at me, and I giggle.

“Keep it up, and I’ll find a better use for it.”

We’re posted at the picnic benches outside the clubhouse. Some days we meet up outside of work for lunch, but today we were both feeling lazy, and this way she gets to see her hubby, so she picked up food on her way in.

“He’s a good boy, leave him alone.”

“Spoken like a true little Gemma.”

“You wench.” She tosses a fry at me, and I move dodging it.

“Just calling it like I see it. Don’t worry Ma would be proud.”

“Please, she’s preening over you and Jax finally climbing out of the river of De-nile.”

“We weren’t.” I protest.

“Uh huh. A lie to yourself is still a lie.”

“You’re one to talk,” I mumble.

“Exactly, takes one to know one,” She flashes me a wide grin that gets her out of most things.

“How’s the blowback from Psycho?”

“I don’t know. I’m assuming good because Jax hasn’t said anything. He goes over once a week to check in. They’re civil at least because he doesn’t come home agitated, or worried about the baby. I know her morning sickness has gotten bad. Having a prospect over until she got back on her feet was a wise decision. I’m guessing she liked the company too. In a way, we did take away everything. It’s got to be shitty for her to come around the clubhouse now.”

“Hmmpph. She’d best get used to it.  ‘Cause no way in hell she’s pulling a Mary and keeping that baby away from Jax and its proper family.”

I nod my head in agreement. We both know the importance of family.  “I’ll never let that happen.”

“Wendy would go missing first,” Journee agrees.

“So bloodthirsty.”

She grins. “Nah. Just putting it on the table. So, did he move in yet?”

I pop a fry in my mouth and shake my head. “Not yet.”

“You want me to kick his ass?”

“It’s not him. It’s me. I’m just. This is all moving so fast. I’m not ready to give up that last piece of my independence.”

“Lord,” Journee huffs. “Please tell me you did not turn him down.”

“No. Nothing like that, he hasn’t asked yet. I think he’s waiting because he knows I’m not ready yet.”

“Of course he does. I don’t think you give him enough credit when it comes to you, Lee. You’ve always been different from anyone else. He gets you, and believe me when I say he catalogs your every move and stores it away in that big ass brain of his. This is him earning the right to have you. I’m all for that. He played the field and lived a self-revolving life for a long ass time. But don’t let it go too far. It’ll build a wedge. He needs to know you’re just as invested and ready to make concessions to make this work. Jaxy has never been the type to do anything slow. This hesitation is all for you.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I know.”

She gives a nod, and we let the subject drop. She’s got a precarious place, standing up for both of us against the other. I don’t know how she keeps the balance. Perhaps because she loves us both so fully.  Where he’s impulsive, I’m cautious, it’s led to friction before, but now we have a tentative waiting place. I see his dedication daily. It’s in the way he checks in on me during the day, shows affection without worrying about who's around, and makes it clear to the Crows he’s off limits. That’s new. With Wendy, they always knew there was a chance.

It’s changed the way I viewed him. I knew the boy, but this is Jax, the man, and the growth and maturation look damn good on him.

I peer over to the garage and bite my bottom lip as I watch him work on a car. He’s sexy, but it’s more than that, he’s comfort and protection, and L. My throat clogs up.

“Oh my God, I’m fucked.”

“What?”

I turn my attention back to Journee. “I think I’m in love with Jackson Teller.”

She throws back her head and lets out a full-bellied laugh that draws attention to us.

“Shut up,” I mumble.

“I can’t. I can’t help it.” She clutches her stomach. “To be so damn smart you are sure stupid when it comes to him.”

“What?”

“Girl you’ve been in love a long time. Both of you. It was so evident.”

“That’s not true,” I say.

“I’ll say this. It was past like.”

“What’s so funny?” Jax shouts from the entrance of the garage. Journee lapses into another fit and I shake my head.

“Your sister is loca.”

“Ain’t nothing new there,” Jax says as he shakes his head with a smile.

I can’t help the smile that slides across my face in response. With anyone else, I would begin to panic. I like to stay on top of my emotions. It keeps me from getting too attached which leads to being hurt down the road. For once, I’m just… excited. Is this what it feels like to be a normal woman in love? There’s no shadow of the past looming over me. I know without a doubt Jax will never be my father, and he has an army lined up to kick his ass if he steps out of line. Not that I can’t do it myself, but it speaks to his commitment.

Little by little the bastard has won me over. I shake my head and give a laugh. He’s a Teller, what else did I expect?

***

I’m watching HGTV as I fold clothes. Downtime is a blessing I never take for granted. Between keeping up with the upper crust of charming, cooking books at the shop, and being called on for God knows what else the club needs at a moment’s notice, I’m short on downtime. It’s mindless work as I make piles on the couch to put away while I decide on my next home project. A commercial break comes on, and I turn toward the pile and freeze. Boxers and white t-shirts are piled up just as high as my bras and panties. When had he brought over so many things?

I tilt my head to the side. We might not be talking about things, but they’re happening organically. I like having someone to come home to. Kick loved the road and the club more than he could ever love me. Jax is a strange combination of family man and biker. He’ll do whatever the club requires, but he’s never forgotten his family; blood and otherwise. It’s the one thing keeping me from running for the hills. I learned things that seem too good to be true generally are. Even with Kick, it fell apart right under my nose. I was thinking about marriage and babies while he found my input so insignificant he went Nomad without checking in with me first.

The relationships before him were casual, and I had to work up to that. My Father devastated me in more ways than one, and in another way, so did Gemma’s grief. She and JT had something special. She lit up around him, and he treated her like gold. Losing Tommy put a real hurting on them, and his death changed Gemma. Seeing the power, you give with your heart made me want to steer clear. Yet here I am wading into deep, permanent waters. Jax and I can never go back to the way we were. It’s not in either of us. So we make this work or risk fucking with dynamics that have been set in stone for ages.

I ignore the voice inside me that tells me I’m making a mistake. That’s the remnants of a broken little girl who needed her father. I’m a full grown woman who knows better. All this time Journee has been right. He’s been right in front of me, the perfect blend of lover and fighter.  A man I can trust with my entire heart, who knows me inside and out. There’s no explaining my past, or the rules of this life because he’s been there for everything. Warmth flows through my body.

The sound of a motorcycle coming down the driveway makes me smile. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

“Honey I’m home.”

I roll my eyes. People would be stunned by his silliness. “I’m in the living room, Ricky.”

He comes around the corner and grins.

“I like this view.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“You doing my laundry.”

I grab a handful of whites, and he dodges.

“I didn’t mean it like that?!”

“Right.”

“I like this domestic thing we’re doing, Lee.”

He walks over and sinks down on the couch beside me.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah?” He nods and gives me the bashful boyish smile that’s as rare as a unicorn. “I want to do more of this.”

“You offering to take out the trash and do the dishes when I cook?” I ask keeping things light while I fish for more information. The last thing I want to do is read too far into this.

“If that’s what you want me to do.”

I blink. “You’re serious.”

“Sure am, darling. I know we’re not rushing into anything, but I like what we have going. Don’t you?”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and peer up at him through my lashes. “I do.”

“Good.” He cups my face and pulls my mouth to his. Silence falls. He teases my lips with his tongue, and I suck it into my mouth. He moans, tilting his head as he fists my hair and takes over the lip-lock.

We surface for air breathing heavily.

“I think I need to thank you properly for all your hard work today.”

“Is that right?” I ask huskily.

“Mmmhmm.”  He bites my bottom lip. I groan, and he nibbles his way down my neck, tickling my skin with his beard as he sucks on my skin.

I shiver.

“Jax,” I whimper as I gently push him away. “I have meetings this week.”

“Good. They’ll realize you’re taken.”

I giggle. “Jax,” I say firmer.

He nips my skin and moves from the couch onto his knees in front of me.

“I’ll just have to find other things to mark then.” He pushes my dress up around my hips and strokes his thumb down the seam of my panties. “Already wet for me? Naughty little Lee.”

I give a throaty laugh. “You know exactly what you do to me.”

“Damn straight. Life those hips up.”  He hooks his thumbs under the sides of my underwear, and I help him ease the scrap of red lace down my body and over my heels. He spreads my thighs wide and licks his lips. A streak of desire runs through my body. His eyes are dark with desire, and his thumb is circling my clit, quickening the pulse in my core.

“So damn pretty.” He licks a path up my slick core and dives in, a man starved. I groan as I bury my fingers in his long hair and move with him. He’s an artist with his tongue, stroking, swirling, and penetrating me until I cry out. I lose track of the times I come as the world becomes a haze of pleasure and roughly whispered encouragement.

“I got to be inside you, Lee.”

I struggle to focus. “So be inside.”

He’s a ninja, stealthy and swift as he undoes his belt, lowers his pants, and places me in his lap.  I grip his firm shoulders as I lower onto his granite cock. I tilt my head back, moaning as he fills me to the brim.

“I need to see those blues.”

Our gazes lock and I lift up and slam down. We both cry out as he grips my hips helping me keep the frenzied rhythm as he goes deeper with every stroke. I swear I can feel him in my chest as we ride out the storm we’ve built. I flex around him as he pushes me to the edge. My breath comes in small puffs and my body trembles. Two more pumps and I’m gone, screaming his name. He follows me over, filling me with his heat as I collapse on his chest, my face in the curve of his neck. He smells like sandalwood, soap, and leather with a hint of oil. It’s a scent I’ve begun to associate with home.

“You know, I did three loads today,” I whisper.

He laughs. “Oh yeah? Guess we need round two then.”

I pull back and lose myself in the bright blue of his dancing eyes. This is exactly where both need to be right now.

***

“You okay, baby?” Jax rasps as he nuzzles my neck.

“Yes, but now I’m starving.”

He laughs. “Taco Tuesday?”

“You cooking, Teller?” I ask glancing over my shoulder.

“Haven’t you heard of Teller’s Taco Tuesday?”

I laugh. “No, but I like the sound of it.”

“Good.” He kisses my shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll get everything going in the kitchen.”

He slips from the bed, and I admire his firm back and ass. “You should balance out all those boxers and undershirts with more pants and shirts,” I say taking a leap of faith.

He pauses in the doorway and gives me a smile that would rival the sun. “I’ll be sure to do that this week.”

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Changes Writing Challenge

I love this little nook of Tumblr so much, and I love the people in it who have become my friends. No judgement, the least amount of drama I’ve seen in a while, and just so much encouragement! Huge thanks to each and every one of you for making me feel like I’ve accomplished something whenever I post a fic or series! 

To celebrate hitting 500 followers, I decided to do a little writing challenge. If you saw this post then you know I’ve been making some changes as I have gone through the last year of rediscovering myself. In light of that, all of the twenty prompts below are quotes/from quotes which I have hoarded during this time to keep my spirits up and remind me I’m not alone. First, the boring-but-important stuff. Please read all of the information carefully! 

Rules, Guidelines, Important Dates:

1. Sign-Ups start when this post is live and will go through to June 28, 2021.  2. I will accept one writer for each prompt. If I have to add prompts, I will. 3. Please send your sign-ups to my ask box so they’re easier to keep track of. 4. In your ask, please include your preferred prompt and a backup option. Since I’m only taking one writer per prompt, I’m not worried about your pairing this time around. Also, please let me know if you’ll be posting from a URL other than one you’re asking from. To be included in the challenge masterlist, please post your fic (or the first part, if it’s a series) by June 30, 2021. 5. Please include an author’s note tagging me and mentioning the challenge in your fic post; include #ChangesWC in the first five tags. If the tag doesn’t work, you may DM the link to me, also. If you decide to write a series, please create a masterlist and only tag me in the masterlist. 6. Please give me up to 48 hours to read your fic before checking if I have seen it. If I have not liked it after 48 hours, please DO check. (You know, since we’re all aware of how unreliable tumblr is. And how I can space out at times.) 7.The challenge masterlist will be posted between July 1 and July 4, 2021. 8. There are no word count limits, but please use the Keep Reading feature if your story goes beyond 500 words. Additionally, if your fic goes beyond 5000 words, please consider splitting it into multiple parts. This is not a requirement, only something to think about.  9. You can use your prompt as dialogue, as an inspiration for a scenario, any way you want. If you use it as dialogue or somewhere else within the fic, please make sure it’s in bold text.  10. Because this challenge was inspired by rising up and not letting life get the better of me, I will accept most genres as long as your story has a hopeful ending.  11. For personal reasons, I do not read and will not accept into the challenge stories that include: non-con/dub-con, underage sex, adult-child romantic/sexual relationships, spouse-bashing, child abuse – I could go on, but I think you get the idea. If you’re not sure about something, I’m always happy to answer questions. Whatever you include, please be sure to warn accordingly. 12. Characters and RPFs are welcome.  13.  Bring on the ships, OFC’s, reader pairings, put yourself in the story. Whatever you’d like.  14. I can’t promise that I will read everything. Again, for personal reasons.  15. This challenge is about writing what makes you happy. I have to set some boundaries for (yep, you guessed it) personal reasons, but otherwise, please feel free to go wild with expressing yourself. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask or a message! 

Prompts are below the cut, you know where to send your sign up! Happy Writing! 

1. Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end. 

2. We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are. 

3. If you’ve been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle to other living beings, then you’re a badass with a heart of an angel. 

4. If you have an idea you generally think is great, don’t let someone talk you out of it. 

5. How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the tings that go on in your head. 

6. It’s a strange thing to nourish the thing that could kill you, in the hopes it does not kill you. 

7. I don’t really have a plan. I rely solely on caffeine and weirdness to get me through the day. 

8. You can’t fuck up anything that is meant for you. 

9. You scare people because you are whole all by yourself. 

10. You don’t know how strong you are until years later, you look back and see an incomprehensible survival. 

11. You either say how you feel and fuck it up or say nothing and let it fuck you up instead. 

12. It’s funny, you know? How some people won’t listen until you have nothing left to say. 

13. Sometimes feeling right, after feeling wrong for so long, is the hardest thing to get used to. 

14. You had to be that person to become this one. 

15. Whatever you do, never run back to what broke you. 

16. You don’t know pain until you’re staring yourself in the mirror with tears in your eyes, begging yourself to just hold on and be strong. 

17. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and trends you picked up while enduring a trauma. 

18. I’m still learning how to go back and reread my own chapters without feeling like I want to set all of my pages on fire. 

19. Healing comes in waves; maybe today the wave hits the rock. You are still healing. 

20. It could take you years to actually face what has happened. And numerous more to overcome it. 

Tags because why not:  @captain-s-rogers  @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @beakami @heartsaved  @blackwidowismyhomegirl @averyrogers83 @jennmurawski13 @connie326 @whitewolfvibraniumdreams