#not being able to do anything or stop it from happening and when cornelia dies and claudia has ludger she just KNOWS. theres no way to be

[sumireviku]

For a character who is literally the only other Key of Kresnik that we know about, it is crazy how little we know about Cornelia as a person. We don’t even know how her own son felt about her because all Julius says about her is that she’s dead and he only remembers being looked after by Claudia, presumably even when Cornelia was still alive. I thought Cornelia was just your generic nice dead wife and nice dead mother but then. She was 22. Bisley was 15. The game argues that he did legit love her even after her death. What the hell did Claudia think, seeing her older sister have a child with a boy even younger than Claudia herself? What does Julius think about his mother? It doesn’t seem like he really thinks about her at all, he only seems to have good memories of Claudia and his resentment of Bisley has little to do with Cornelia’s death. Or maybe it’s the guilt of having killed Claudia and taking in Ludger that makes Julius fixate more on her.

I have so many questions and I can only make up answers!

[fleshing-out-fodlan]

Crimson Flower Lysithea Story

I think the Three Houses writing is really held back by 1. the lack of impact non lord characters have on the story post time skip and 2. the lack of in depth unique development for characters on different routes. I understand why this was done from a game play perspective (perma death and also giving every single character 3-4 unique story lines is a lot of work and just unrealistic) but from a story telling perspective it definitely isn't ideal. So I wanted to take a swing at giving a non lord a unique story on a route that isn't their own a way that makes sense from the perspective of the developers.

Crimson Flower Lysithea is probably the most obvious place to start, she was also experimented on by TSWITD so there's so much potential for where her story could go. In Crimson Flower, you are working with TWSITD, something that will stir up strong emotions in Lysithea, even if she knows the plan is for the alliance to be temporary. I think this can tie into Lysithea's need to rush everything. We all know Lysithea's life span is shortened, so maybe she's afraid she won't live to see TWISTD destroyed. TWISTD is what destroyed her family and if they're still so powerful when she dies, she has no way to ensure her family is safe from their torment. So, she comes up with all these plans to prematurely bring them down. We get a cutscene at some point of her talking to Hubert, saying she has to have a meeting with Edelgard and Hubert refusing to let her through because he believes it will be a waste of Edelgard's time so he instead tells Lysithea to just tell him whatever she wants to tell Edelgard and he'll pass the message along if it's worthy of her time. Lysithea tells Hubert her plans but he quickly shuts them down, pointing out some flaw that will hurt their team's chances at succeeding. Lysithea gets frustraed and starts hurling her immature insults at Hubert (I'm imagining similar vibes to her Ignatz support here) but Hubert hardly reacts, finding her more amusing than offensive, causing her to get angrier and just storm off. I imagine this cut scene happening after chapter 14 (so right before the battle where you meet Cordelia). After this, you get the explore dialogue for chapter 15. Lysithea's original dialogue here isn't that important in terms of character development (it doesn't really tell us anything new about her character, generally just that she wants to protect her family which is also established by the stuff I'm adding anyways). So, her explore dialogue will now involve her mumbling to herself about Hubert being an idiot and how she knows what she's doing. Then, she notices you listening and gets annoyed, commenting on how eavesdropping is a childish activity.

Then, we have the "Seige at Arianrhod" battle. If Lysithea and Linhardt are both on the field you'll be given an optional quest (kind of like in Remire where you have a quest to save all the villagers but can still win the battle if you fail that quest). The quest is to have Lysithea be the first on to attack Cornelia. If you don't do this quest, nothing else will happen in Lysithea's story. If you do this, it will trigger a mid battle cut scene showing Lysithea attacking Cornelia but Cornelia is much stronger than she initially thought. After putting up a good fight, Lysithea gets severely injured. Edelgard steps in and stops Cornelia from landing a fatal blow and calls Linhardt over and he then teleports away with Lysithea. You then go back to normal battling mode but you can no longer use Lysithea or Linhardt. There will be two options for what happens after the battle.

Option A. Linahrdt and Lysithea did not reach their A support: In this timeline, Linhardt is not able to save Lysithea. In a cutscene where the battle is being discussed, Edelgard asks Linhardt about Lysithea's status and he says that she died. In the midst of the mourning Edelgard makes a comment about how Lysithea didn't seem like herself, how she's usually so well calculated but in this moment seemed to be driven purely by her emotions. The camera zooms in on Hubert's face, showing one of his more contemplative profiles, as Edelgard announces that they can't dwell on the past and must get back to working hard to secure the future Lysithea was fighting for in honor of her memory. All the characters disperse except Byleth and Hubert. Byleth makes a remark about how Hubert seems like he's thinking about something and Hubert makes a comment about how Lysithea had mentioned a desire to take down TWISTD as soon as possible but that he had stopped her from talking to Edelgard. You're then given two dialogue options. You can either say he should've let her talk to Edelgard which will cause you two to lose support points and Hubert will say something about how Lysithea's actions today proved she was not worthy of Lady Edelgard's time. The second dialogue option is remarking on how Lysithea had so much potential. Hubert will respond to this by somberly agreeing and then the cut scene will end.

Option B. Linhardt and Lysithea did reach their A support: In this timeline, you will see a cut scene between Linhardt and Lysithea before seeing one with Edelgard and the Black Eagles recapping the battle. This scene takes place just after Linhardt finished healing her and Lysithea makes a comment about being so exhausted she's about to pass out. Linhardt then says something about how he's going to pass out too after seeing all the blood. Lysithea simple respond with a "..." and Linhardt realizes something is wrong. He makes a comment about how Lysithea's actions were stupid and how she was unnecessarily risking her life and asks what she was thinking (but he does it in his Linhardt way where he's not saying it angrily just very matter-of-factly). Lysithea talks about how she wants to see TWISTD destroyed in her lifetime to make sure they can't torment her family anymore. Linhardt makes a comment about how powerful groups can never be overthrown quickly (maybe he could make some reference to a similar event in Fodlan history but I'm not knowledgeable enough about the history to think of an example off the top of my head) and also says that her dying early to accomplish this goal would be counterproductive. She asks what he means and he explains how she's one of the best mages on the side and how Cornelia was only one person. Even if she succeeded in taking down Cornelia, there'd still be the rest of TWISTD and the black eagles would be at a major disadvantage without Lysithea. He says she may not live to see the end of TIWSTD, it's possible none of them will, but if she focuses on taking multiple, smaller steps, she can make a greater difference than if she just tries to make one giant, risky leap.

After this, you can now unlock the Lysithea Byleth A support. This support will stay pretty similar, I like how it discusses her feeling a need to rush things due to her shortened life span. The main change would be that now she would mention what had happened in the last battle and discuss it and how it ties into the her desire to rush things and how she's starting to make peace with the fact that she may not be able to accomplish everything she wants.

This is where I imagine Crimson Flower Lysithea's arc ending. There are only six post time skip Crimson Flower chapters I believe, so I didn't want to add too many new cut scenes, especially considering that Lysithea is a side character who isn't even native to this route. I wanted the story I wrote to be one that could realistically be added into the game while maintaining good pacing, so I left out some scenes I would've liked that narratively just didn't fit in as well. If anyone has any head cannons for their version of Crimson Flower Lysithea, whether that be a written out story or just small head cannons you like to imagine, I'd love to hear them either in a reblog or an ask!

[mommymooze]

Anxious Restraint

Sylvain x reader  

Warning: war, death, destruction, sad families, blood, injuries

Its a beautiful day during Great Tree Moon. Your nose is filled with the mixed scents of the flowers that are blooming everywhere, their petals catch in the winds and scatter across the cobblestones. You are strolling quietly through the pathways  of the school having just left one of your classes and heading to your next when you are suddenly joined by a fellow student, interrupting your thoughts about the upcoming battle.

Apparently, you have caught the eye of the school’s skirt-chaser, the notorious Sylvain Gautier. “Hey beautiful, how are you doing today?” He smoothly slithers up to your side, brushing his elbow up against yours.

“I’m fine, Sylvain” you respond listlessly, wishing this conversation was already over.

With his ‘every girl wants a piece of a guy who smiles like this’ look plastered on his face, he continues, “Want to grab some dinner with me today? Such a beautiful day would be even better if we shared a little time together, eh?”

Eyes straight ahead, you keep walking as if he’s not even there. “No thanks, I have to work on my magic and I was going to practice after grabbing a bite in the dining hall.”

“What about tomorrow?” He pushes.

“Tomorrow I have a test.” You just want him to stop. Mother taught you not to be rude, but he is testing every bit of your patience.

“And the next day?” He sounds desperate.

“Working with Felix on my sword skills. And improving my Pegasus riding so I can be a dark flier. I really have to get going.” Your voice getting louder as you run at top speed to anywhere before you lose your temper.

Sylvain is left in the dust, again. You’re in the same class as he is. You haven’t known him long, but Ingrid fills you in on his life history of philandering.  Classes keep everyone busy. You have to study fairly hard, but you are rewarded with great grades. Sylvain is smart, but doesn’t apply himself, he tells you he shouldn’t have to bother to be the best because no matter what, his dad’s just going to make him take his place someday. Seems like every time you see him he has a different girl hanging off his arm. He still asks you out once or twice a month. More out of a force of habit than anything else.

Time flies by with unusual problems happening quite frequently at the monastery. The Church sends the students out to fight their battles for them on a regular basis. Classes are taught, battles are won, then suddenly war is declared. The battle of Garreg Mach leaves everyone numb. You head home to find it is gone, the whole village burnt to the ground. Everyone you knew is gone, you’re unsure as to who lived and who died.  You become part of a mercenary group, continuing to fight and develop your skills and battle techniques. Your group will take any job that will take down Empire soldiers or people allied with them. Yuri hires your group a few times. Most of your jobs are in the Kingdom and Alliance territories.

Five years pass and you find yourself back at Garreg Mach, wondering if your friends will be there for the reunion planned so long ago. You are completely shocked when Byleth appears, fighting alongside a battleworn and feral Dimitri.

Once the battle ends the Blue Lions light up the stove in the kitchen, salvage what they can and cook up food that doesn’t quite go together but gets something in their stomachs for the night. Sitting around a table in the dining hall they each tell their stories of what they have been doing the past five years. Most of them protected their territories, saving their people. Byleth was sleeping, Dimitri is absent, everyone draws their own conclusions on what his time was spent on.

Sylvain finds you alone one afternoon sitting on a bench after having spent the entire day organizing and cleaning the library. “So you became a mercenary? You could have come to Gautier or even Fraldarius. Felix and I would have helped you. You didn’t have to be alone.” He said, sounding sad.

“I guess I needed to find myself after everything I knew was gone. I felt like I had to crawl my way up from the bottom. I refused to give up. I hadn’t planned on being a mercenary. I knew I wanted to keep fighting, keep working to be stronger, needing to make a difference for the right cause. Waking up every day knowing that I would work to improve the lives of the people, sure it didn’t win any major battles. But it made a difference to them. I gave them hope. Stealing supply wagons from the Empire and taking them to those that were starving or had no way to protect themselves kept me moving forward all of this time. I may have lost all of my things, but I gained a true purpose.

The next few days are filled with finding places to sleep, hunting and gathering food, repairing rooms and critical buildings, and greeting others that have returned such as Seteth and Flayn with the Knights of Seiros. You work with Byleth, offering to train anyone in reason magic.

Sylvain comes to your classes. You notice that he behaves himself, having grown up somewhat, and actually studies and gains better control of his magic. He finds you in the training grounds late one night, working with the new recruits and decides to lend a hand, helping them with their incantations, manipulation of runes or simply being encouraging.

Finally, the last student leaves. You wave as you grab your tomes and notes. Sylvain takes a seat on a nearby bench.

“You have your spellcasting mastered. I can really see the improvement since we were students.” Sylvain genuinely smiles.

You have a look of shock on your face. That has to be the sincerest compliment he has ever given you. “Um…thanks.” You weakly smile.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He says waving as he turns.

You stumble after him quickly. “Sylvain, thank you very much for helping me tonight. If you hadn’t, I could have been here until morning. That was really sweet.”

He flashes a grin at you and heads out the door. You are confused. The Sylvain you remembered from before the war was always flirting and shirking work. Now he’s helping with working and training. He actually volunteers. Maybe he really is growing up.

Battles come and battles go. Being the eye in the sky, you are always watching out for your friends. After surviving for this many years of war, it would be heart wrenching to lose any of them now. You throw a Thoron into a group of archers that are terrorizing Felix. You guide Ingrid to help Ashe when someone is sneaking up on him. Always, always you have one eye on Sylvain, making sure he doesn’t get himself surrounded or run through on an enemy’s lance. The fights are all the same, only the names of the places change and the numbers of scars on everyone ever increases.

Reclaiming the Capital is a painful battle. Everyone’s heart breaks seeing the city in such ruin. The people are hiding from the soldiers on both sides. Titanus running amok cutting down everything in their paths. You fly quickly, attacking the Empire from the air, then leading innocent citizens to safety and hauling the wounded back to the rear of the lines to get healed. Fire and smoke is everywhere. Your Pegasus is breathing hard and needs a break. You leave it with the other beasts not currently in the fight and run in on foot to see where you can assist.  You scurry back to where you had seen the heaviest fighting just in time to see the last Titanus fall with a thundering crash. Dimitri, Dedue, Felix and Sylvain are dashing towards Cornelia. As soon as you are in range you hit her two closest archers with Swarm-z, slowing them down as well as injuring them. Felix and Sylvain defeat the enemies quickly. Dedue and Dimitri are facing Cornelia. Angered by your magic, she casts Luna Λ at you.  Normally you have a fairly high magic resistance, however this is a dark magic spell that doesn’t care what your resistance is, it’s going to hit and hit hard. Your last thoughts before you lose consciousness is that your friends can finish this easily and you are glad you’re on the ground and not falling off your Pegasus.

Waking up on a hard cot in the makeshift infirmary of the palace you hear the sounds of people walking softly and whispering all around. You mentally take inventory, wiggling toes and twitching fingers. Opening your eyes you have to blink a few times before you can finally get them to focus. At first you only see oranges and blacks, then you can focus a bit and see Sylvain and Annette standing at the foot of your cot. You see her point your direction and he turns to face you. He was frowning but when your eyes meet his, his face relaxes.

Kneeling down at the head of your bed he says softly, “Hey, welcome back. Think you can take a drink for me?” pulling a waterskin to your lips and lifting your head a bit, helping you take a few sips.

The water is cool and feels amazing on your parched throat. “Mmmm. Thanks.” You whisper as you smile up at him.

“Let’s see. What did you miss? After Cornelia hit you with that spell, she was easily taken down by Dimitri and Dedue. The fighting was over soon after that, we just had to take out a few pockets of enemy soldiers here and there.  As you can tell we took over the royal palace. The people rallied outside and demanded Dimitri to present himself to them. They’re accepting him as king and happy to have him back. Your Pegasus is in the royal stables, Ingrid was able to coax her in there. I had no idea she hates men so much, I almost lost my right hand, gauntlet and all.” Sylvain chuckles softly.

“Sorry. She was probably mad at me for leaving her in the first place. Glad I did.” You take another drink, the fog in your head lifting a little more.

Sylvain looks up at Annette, who is getting some bandages together for another patient. “Do you think she’ll be able to make it to the party tonight?”

“If she behaves. She’ll have to take it easy.” The shorter redhead points at you. “No dancing the night away.”

The cavalier pats your shoulder, “It’s nothing big, just the Lions hanging out together, to relax a minute before the next battle. Gotta take a break sometime, right?”

“I will try to make it. I haven’t even tried to sit up yet.” You mumble.

“When you’re ready we’ll sit you up. If you want to eat we’ll get you some food.” He begins, “After you’ve settled a bit we’ll try to get you walking around and show you to a room so you can clean up and change. I’ll come by before the party and help you get there if you want to go. Sometimes these corridors can all look alike. Wouldn’t want you spending half the night trying to find your way there.”

“Sitting up sounds like a good start.” You propose, knowing that magical wounds take time you recall. There’s only so much healing magic and potions they can pour into you. You weren’t sliced open and didn’t lose blood. Mostly once you wake up, you could go about your business, just treading a bit more carefully.

The cavalier is tall and agile, stepping over a few empty cots with his long legs he grabs a wooden chair and sits it down at the head of your bed. Before you can start to turn to stand up, he picks you up and gently places you seated in the chair.

“Wow.” You gasp. “Um..thanks.” a tinge of red warms across your cheeks.

“I grabbed one with arms so if you’re still tired you would have something to lean on. Are you feeling alright so far?”  He has the tiniest upturn to the corners of his mouth.

He looks adorable, you think to yourself. Wait. Sylvain. Adorable? Um…hey brain, are you going to answer him? “My head is a bit fuzzy.”

“I’ll check on you in a while, in time for lunch, ok?” the redhead says as he pats your hand while he walks past and leaves.

You sit looking around the room. Soldiers mixed with citizens. A woman with her baby is holding hands with a man that looks like he was badly burned. You can see the strength and determination in her face, she is being strong for him. A young boy sitting by the cot of an older man that is sleeping. The clerics are checking bandages, stopping to talk to every patient and giving them words of encouragement. The physical fighting here has ended, now everyone is gathering themselves together, healing, and getting ready to rebuild and make a better world.

You start moving yourself, getting your blood flowing and stretching, kicking your feet for a while then holding them up in the air. Soon you feel brave enough to try to stand up. Putting your feet on the ground you use the chair to help you stand on your own feet. You don’t feel like falling over, no affects so far except for some anxiety. You spy a chair 15 feet away and decide to go the distance. Your first few steps are taken gingerly, but you gain a bit of confidence and make it the last few steps fine. Sitting down your legs gave a bit so you came down a bit hard, but it felt good to move. Now you realize that you are in a simple gown and socks. Not exactly the best clothes for heading out of here, hopefully someone will be by soon to tell you what to do next. After taking a careful stroll back to your original chair, you spy Annette coming down the row of cots, checking on patients. You take a sip of water and wait for your turn.

“How’s your head? Any signs of a headache? Any pain anywhere?” Her bright and cheery smile always makes you smile back at her.

“I feel pretty good. Whoever worked on me did an amazing job. I just have a tiny headache. I’ve even been taking a few steps back and forth between the chairs here. So what should I do next?”

Annette reaches under your cot for a small bundle. ”We have a change of clothes and boots for you.” She shows you to the bathroom to change. You nod happily, “I would love to get real clothes on. It gives you the mental kick like you’re getting back to normal.”

“You have a great attitude! I’ll bet you’re fine in no time.” The redhead bubbles, walking with you to the powder room.

Clothes changed, washing your face and hands, you feel like a gold bullion. No mirrors in here, probably so the recovering wounded are not shocked about how they look after battle and keep concentrating on healing. You feel much more confident walking back to the chair by your cot.  Observing the healers running around, you feel quite useless and guilty for not being able to help them.  Before you spiral too far into a frustrating mindset, Sylvain arrives.

“Look at you, all ready to go!” He smiles. “They said if I take it easy with you, we can get you to the dining hall. Ready to give it a go?” He stands next to your chair, his elbow ready for you to grab it for support if needed.

“Sounds wonderful.” You stand up and place your hand on his forearm letting him lead you out of the infirmary.

The first few times he spies a bench he checks if you want to rest or keep going. The continued movement is a little tiring, but also feels really good getting your heart pumping. Once you really begin to feel tired you are already at the dining hall. Felix, Ingrid and Ashe already at the table with their food.

“Welcome back!” Ingrid smiles, waving with a roll in her hand. Felix does his usual nod in your general direction. Ashe waves excitedly as he tries to chew whatever he has in his mouth faster.

“Great to see you!” Ashe begins, switching to recalling his view of the end of the battle. “I saw Cornelia hit you with that spell, it was so scary. You were taking out her archers protecting her and then Bam! This ball of black and purple hit you and you go down. Dimitri and Dedue took her out and when Felix and Sylvain finished her other archers they put you on Sylvain’s horse and he took you straight back to the healers.”

Sylvain returns to the table with a tray full of food. “So I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for, so I brought a few things. Doesn’t matter because whatever you don’t eat, Ingrid will finish for you.”

“Hey!” Ingrid puts her hands on her hips, pouting for a second. Then she changes her mind. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

You decide the soup and a soft roll may be a good place to start. Everyone chats about things that happened in the fight, trying to concentrate on good things that happened such as saving a child or protecting a merchant.

“Oh Ingrid! Thank you for taking care of my Pegasus and getting her stabled.” You happily pat her hand in thanks.

“It was nothing. She was being feisty and knucklehead over there tried to grab her reins and she didn’t take to it too kindly.” Ingrid grinned at the cavalier. “they are not the same as horses!”

The redhead puts his hands up, “I get it! I get it!”

Lunch ends and before you get a chance Sylvain grabs everyone’s dishes and piles them on his tray to take back.

You raise an eyebrow at Ingrid, she shrugs her shoulders. Felix and Ashe are already out the door talking about some training they are interested in. Ingrid says she will check on your Pegasus and let you know this evening how things are. You assure her you’re going to try to make the gathering tonight.

Sylvain returns, placing his arm at the ready, you grab on and as he escorts you, talking about his history here, having grown up frequently visiting the palace, how he would chase Ingrid, Dimitri and Felix down the halls until they would get in trouble and their amazing snowball fights in the courtyards.  He leads you down the corridor to your room. Annette and Mercedes are staying in the room next to yours.

“Who am I bunked up with?” You wonder.

“Nobody. This is all for you. The room is huge with a sitting area, a grand fireplace, a huge bed with multiple fluffy pillows and a bathroom with bathtub big enough to swim in. You spy your bags set on tables next to the dressers.

“I am so confused.” You don’t realize you are speaking out loud. “Why this special treatment? I’m just like everyone else. I don’t understand?”

“Remember when we were up against Cornelia?” Sylvain explains. “The person she looked at, the one she needed to stop first wasn’t Dimitri, wasn’t Dedue, it was you. You’re the most powerful mage we have.  Sure, Annette is pretty amazing, but she can’t do the damage you do. Cornelia saw it. I know you can dance circles around me. You’re pretty terrifying. We’re thrilled to have you on our side.”

You’re absolutely flabbergasted. You never compare yourself to anyone else. You go out, do your job. You feel a blush to your cheeks even though you find this hard to believe.

The redhead continues, “Then there’s the fact that you do this while flying on your Pegasus. We’ve seen you do maneuvers on that animal that shock Ingrid. You make some seriously fast dives, then stop. The wind force from its wings is stronger than some of Annette’s spells. I’ve seen enemy archers rolling over backwards from it.”

You could be knocked over by a Pegasus feather. You’re just a regular person in the army and he’s put you up on a pedestal…wait. This is Sylvain you’re thinking about. But it’s not his usual flirting escapades. Where is that flirtatious attitude anyway? You have spent a lot of time with him today and walked past plenty of pretty ladies, but you can’t recall his saying hello or paying a compliment to any of them.

“I think I should get a nap.” You say, not sure if you’re overwhelmed or tired or both.

“I’ll let you rest then. I’ll be back for you to get you to the party in plenty of time. See you in a few hours!” Sylvain smiles widely as he heads out the door, closing it behind him.

You sneak over to the door, hearing his footsteps going off into the distance. You peek out to watch him head down the long hallway. You watch him walk past a few female fellow soldiers without a hitch in his step. He comes to the end of the hallway where a cute maid is dusting a portrait and he just keeps going, not even giving the maid a sideways glance. Who is this guy and what have they done with Sylvain? You’re not sure, but you need to find out.

You decide a bath then a nap may clear your head. There are wonderful smelling soaps with flowers imbedded in them and something that smells fresh and relaxing for your hair. Cleansed and warm, it is definitely nap time. You comb your hair out, braiding it a bit and surround yourself by the fluffy pillows. You are asleep as soon as your head hits the pillows.

Several hours later you wake up, glad to see it’s not dark outside yet. You dress in a soft blue tunic and black slacks with your boots. You let your braids loose so your hair can dry. You head next door to visit Annette and Mercedes.

“Knock, knock, anyone home?” You chuckle.

“Hey! Come in!” Annette’s bubbly voice calls back. You enter, hmm, their room is much smaller than yours. You frown.

“Merci’s in the bath right now. Do you feel well enough to join us tonight?” Annette is looking at two outfits she has laid out on the bed, trying to decide which dress to wear.

“I’m about ready. I need to fix my hair a bit, that’s all.” You pause. “Annie, if I ask you some questions will you answer me honestly?”

“Pssshhh. Of course. We have no secrets.” The blue eyed woman smiles from ear to ear.

You want to ask her the right way, not fishing for compliments, because you don’t want that. “So. I’m just one of the many mages in the army, right? I’m no different than any other Pegasus rider. Just a regular old normal person.”

“Well…” Annette scrunches her eyebrows and puts her finger to her chin. “For Faith magic, nobody can beat Merci. Reason magic I’m pretty good, but you’re better than me, and Byleth too. You’re the only one that can cast Dark magic. Byleth does call on you frequently to do some very tough jobs, being out on the front lines where normally mages are not.”

“You can be quite scary!” Laughs Mercedes as she emerges from the bath in a short tunic and her slips. “A bolt of darkness coming down like a demon on the dark wings of your steed.”

“I guess I’m just confused by Sylvain. Did Byleth tell him to watch over me or something?” You look so flustered.

Mercie puts her hand over her mouth to hide a giggle.

“You should have seen him when he saw Cornelia hit you with her spell!” Annette is leaning so far forward off the bed she’s going to fall over any minute. “You fell over and he tried to run over there. Felix nearly pulled his arm out of his socket. He had to stay and finish the archers. Sylvain insisted on getting you back to the healer’s tent as fast as possible.”

“Why am I in a big room at the end of the hall all by myself? Shouldn’t I be bunked with someone?” You are grasping at anything trying to make sense of today.

“That could be from me.” Mercedes advises. “I did tell Dimitri that you need peace and quiet, healing from a magic injury is impeded by stress like loud noises or bad roommates.”

You shake your head a bit. Maybe you’re just tired and after a good night’s sleep you’ll be better in the morning. You remind yourself not to stay up too late at the party.

The three of you chat a bit, getting into gossip and girl talk. Dimitri and Byleth have been getting closer now that he has been feeling much better. You elbow the red-headed mage sitting next to you on the bed, teasing her about a certain dedicated swordsman. She refuses to admit if they have kissed yet, but by the redness on her cheeks, there is something going on there for sure. Mercedes admits to having a few cooking dates with Dedue. He is showing her how to make some dishes. She’s always felt comfortable baking desserts but not cooking main courses and side dishes.

The two ladies corner you asking if you have your heart set on anyone. Sheepishly you have to shrug your shoulders. You haven’t had time to do much beyond teaching the new mages and their battalions, being sent on a few covert missions, and working with the Pegasus knights training, working the stables and working out with your own steed. You see Ingrid the most of the group, frequently Dorothea would be hanging out nearby waiting for her.

Suddenly you notice the time and need to get back to your room to finish getting ready. You wave goodbye and will see them in a little while. There is a lovely vanity with an adjustable mirror. You take a seat and decide to braid your hair in one of the more intricate braids like Petra had shown you in recent months. Tying it with a white ribbon you leave it on your right shoulder.  Dusting your cheeks with a light rouge and dabbing your lips with a bit of color you’re done. This has probably been the closest you’ve been to being dressed up since the war started.

A knock on the door brings your attention back from staring at your face in the mirror. You walk quickly to the door to find Sylvain there, smiling brightly.

“You look…like you are feeling much better. Did you get to rest?” he asks.

“I feel great, I’m sure tomorrow I will feel even better.” You smile as he steps back to let you exit the room and he closes the door behind you. You grab the crook of his elbow like you had done earlier and he leads you to the parlor where the gathering is taking place.

“It is great to just hang out together for once. It has been exhausting.” Sylvain announces.

“War takes so much out of you. We have come so far, just a little bit more.” You sigh wistfully.

“The end is in sight.” The tall redhead says quietly. After a pause, he asks, “So have you thought about what you’re going to do after the war?”

“I don’t know.” You slow your pace, trying to gather your thoughts as you walk. “I’ve been so busy with the war, its hard to think about it being over. There is still going to be a million things that have to be done. Setting up government, rebuilding, trying to get everyone to work together. The work never ends.”

“Well, let’s not think about all that work for tonight.” He says as he pauses outside the room. “Let’s relax for just a bit before it all starts over again tomorrow.”

Inside the parlor is a large table with many chairs. Tables loaded with foods, fruits, savory treats and desserts. A large circle of comfortable chairs, couches, loveseats and settees with small tables scattered between them is the right, a few seats already occupied by Dedue, Dimitri, Byleth and Ingrid.

Everyone stands and greets you as you enter. You hug them all, so happy to be back together with everyone. Sylvain holds his hands out hopefully.

“Of course, you didn’t get one yet either.” You smile as you place your arms around him for his hug as well. He smells good. He hugs back ever so gently, his touch is feather light.

Byleth returns to the settee that she is sharing with Dimitri and asks you to sit next to her. You take a spot on the loveseat and chat with her about what happened during the battle from her point of view and she shares how proud she is of everyone. The rest of the Blue Lions filter into the room. Sylvain hands you a glass of water with lemon slices in it then walks over to talk to Felix who has found the spicy meatballs.

Once everyone has a drink in hand, Dimitri offers a toast thanking them all for their help in taking back the Kingdom capital. Plaudits of the attendees fill the room.

The conversations are lively. Ashe sits next to you for a while, talking about some new books he has ordered and offers to let you read them after he is finished. Annette also sits next to you for a while, talking about all of the different and delicious desserts. You prefer the peach tart, however you agree that the strawberry cheesecake is simply divine. The redhead then joins Felix on the couch on the other side of the room. Sylvain stands between you and Byleth, talking about differences in armor quality and comparing different blacksmiths. You invite him to ‘take a load off’ has he likes to say to others, as you move to let him sit next to Byleth and you sit on the other side of the seat, patting the loveseat for him to sit himself. He nods and smiles as he takes a seat and continues his conversation with the former Professor. Mercedes bustles through the room, taking your empty plate and another that Annette had left on the side table.

Sylvain finishes his conversation and looks out into the room. You tap him on the hand to get his attention.

“What have you been up to today?” You ask him.

“I had to work on repairs for my saddle, one of the cinching straps had become frayed. I don’t need it breaking and falling off in the middle of battle. I also had to make sure my horse is in great shape, trimmed her hooves and then took her out for a ride. I used to ride a lot out here with Dimitri. It was good to feel the wind through my hair, the sun on my back and simply ride just for the sake of riding.”

“That sounds delightful.” You think wistfully. “Just going for a ride to be riding. Can’t wait to be able to do that again.”

“Any time you are up for it I would be happy if you would like to join me.” Sylvain smiles.

You gently wrap your tiny hand around his much larger, calloused hand. “Sounds great.”

Another hour of chatting with your friends goes by until a yawn suddenly escapes your lips.

Sylvain immediately notices. “Looks like you have had enough fun for today. I should take you back, okay?”

“Mmmm. I agree. Mercedes will tie me to a cot if I don’t rest.” You giggle

Mercedes laughs, “I have ways of making you sleep.” Her voice is much deeper, lower than normal as she squints her eyes menacingly. She wiggles her fingers in a creepy taunting manner at you, making you laugh even more. Sylvain stands and offers his elbow for you to take. Both of you bid goodnight to everyone as you head back out to the corridors of the palace. You are silent as you both walk back to your room. At the door he is preparing to take his leave.

Placing your hand on his shoulder you stop him from moving. “I would like to talk with you, that is, if you want to speak with me as well.”

He gives a slight smile and follows you into your room. You move to the sitting area. You take a seat on a soft cushioned char, he sits on an identical chair next to you.

“First, thank you so much for all of the help you have provided to me today. Bringing water, helping steady me in the hallways, and making certain I was not lost wandering the palace looking for the party.” You say this with all the sincerity you can muster, placing your left hand on your chest to show your heartfelt thanks.

“It was the least I could do. You have given of yourself over and over, it was wonderful being able to help you today.” A tinge of red covers his cheeks. “You really should get some rest.”

You really want to talk to him but he is right, you can barely keep your eyes open. He opens the door to leave, but you hold your arms out to give him a hug goodnight. He gently wraps his arms around yours as you press your cheek into his chest, exhaling with a sigh. You wave as he steps through the threshold and closes the door.

 The early morning war council is held in one of the palace’s meeting rooms. Dimitri shares a message delivered to him earlier this morning. It is a plea for assistance from the alliance, Claude asks for help in Derdriu. Everyone agrees to make the detour to the city then head on towards Enbarr to finish the war.

Arriving at the coastal city, Claude has done an excellent job preparing the city for the fight with the Empire. The battle zone has been evacuated of the citizens and merchants. They only ones involved in the fighting are soldiers. The Kingdom’s army is motivated and strong, overtaking the Empire forces in record time.

There is a meeting between Dimitri, Byleth and Claude. Claude announces he is headed for his own future and wishes everyone well.

The Kingdom marches for Enbarr. The final battle in the war. Edelgard does nothing to prepare the citizens, they flee in the streets as the fight rages around them. The fight is long and bloody. There is no surrendering by Edelgard, she and Hubert fight until their last breath.

You volunteer to stay behind, but Ashe, Ingrid, Dorothea, Linhardt and Caspar remain to start the repairs and healing from the war. The rest return to the north. Sylvian and Felix return to their territories to check on everything and keep their lands going.

Back in the Kingdom capital, your days are filled with rebuilding, not just the buildings, but the mind and bodies of the citizens. You are always amongst the people, one day clearing rubble, the next helping in the orphanages, another day watching a mother’s children so she could take care of business. You explain you are doing this for king and country. If there is anyone to thank, it is Dimitri.

Soon everyone is gathered here again, this time for Dimitri’s coronation. The ceremony is long. Byleth being the archbishop has the honor of placing the crown upon the king. There are so many speeches and the lords of every territory must approach the king and promise their allegiance.

A grand ball celebrating the coronation is held in the evening. King Dimitri is seated at the head table, next to Archbishop Byleth. Felix is next to Dimitri as his chief advisor, Dedue next to him as his Vassal. Ashe and Ingrid are knights, standing guard behind them. They insisted on working, reveling in the honor of being among the first to protect the newly crowned King.

You sit with Annette, Mercedes, Dorothea, Caspar, Linhardt and Sylvain. The conversation is never ending, you haven’t seen several of them for months, so everyone has to catch up. Mercedes and Dedue are engaged. Annette and Felix are officially a couple, as well as Caspar and Linhardt. You have been busy helping restore the school of sorcery. They have been begging you to become a teacher, you are still considering your options.

The orchestra on the opposite side of the ballroom begins to play. The king and archbishop take the floor, starting the dancing for the remaining couples. Sylvain had been seated next to Dorothea and they spoke quietly with each other several times during dinner. You would look up and smile at him and he would always return the gesture.

After the first song ends, it was time for the rest of the couples to dance. You are shocked when he stands and walks over to you, asking you to dance with him. He takes your hand and leads you to the floor. The first few minutes you smile at each other. Then you hear him sigh. You catch his eyes and he smiles at you.

“I’ve missed you.” Sylvain whispers softly in your ear.

“I was hoping you lived close enough that you could come visit here more frequently. Maps can be quite deceiving.” You frown briefly, “How are things in Gautier?”

Sylvain seems to stiffen a bit. “My father is going to step down, leaving me to take his place.”

You try not to frown, “Is that what you want to do?”

He hesitates as the song is ending and he asks you to step outside with him. You stroll through the gardens together, the smell of moist earth and roses fills the air. You stop far enough away that the brightness of the party no longer blocks the light of the stars on this perfectly clear night.

He seats you on a bench, taking a the spot next to you. He leans back and looks up at the stars.

You can’t look away from his face, so you simply watch him watching the twinkling in the skies.

He gently takes your hand in his. “I never wanted to take my father’s place. I never wanted to be like him or like he wanted me to be. I was always such a rebel. I wanted to ruin the world around me, pay it back for all the pain that I had been through. There was nothing that I was looking forward to, being forced to fit in the mold that my father made for me. When they had announced that Dimitri would be executed it made my father physically ill. The kingdom had fallen that day to him. He had no hope left. He stopped pushing me to get married. He couldn’t arrange anything, not knowing who would come out victorious. He didn’t know if he would be keeping his position or would the Empire trample him into the ground. He stopped leaning on me that I would have to be the next margrave, not having any idea how long he was to be the current one. I no longer had anything to defy, to rebel against. I pulled back. I had to learn how to take care of myself properly. Then we came back for the reunion. I had been feeling sorry for myself, then I found out you had lost everything. I saw how strong you had become. Even though you had nothing you had such passion to help everyone else to be better. It was so beautiful. I had never seen anything so beautiful. It wasn’t just a smile, a pretty face, it was radiating from so deep within you. I wanted to be near you, that’s why I had offered to help you, just to be near you. I knew I wasn’t worthy of you. But if I helped you at least I could be close to you. When Cornelia hurt you, I went mad. I thought you were dead. Felix brought me back, telling me we had to finish what you started. I wanted to talk to you after you were recovering, but then we were pulled into Derdriu and went to Enbarr right after that. And then I had to go back to Gautier. After the war, when I went back I thought my father would lord over me, make me continue to do everything his way. But he’s become tired. My parents are going to move to the coast to spend the rest of their days. Managing Gautier is left to me to handle as I see fit. I’ve been working on reaching out to the Sreng, to see if we can find peace between us. Everyone is so tired of the fighting. I know I am. Maybe I could be the Margrave, but I can’t do it alone. I’d like you to help me, teach me to be a good leader, to do right by my people. I would do anything and everything for you.”

You squeeze his hand. “At the reunion I noticed a big change in you. I wanted to talk to you about it but the war never let us have five minutes to ourselves. I noticed you were behaving differently. I wanted so badly to talk to you after we won back the capital, but the war jumped between us again. Maybe the only way I can have an opportunity to speak with you for any length of time would be to go to Gautier with you.” You grin at him.

“I really don’t deserve you.” He puts his arm around you for a half hug. “I know you are so good with the people. Everyone here loves you.” He rests his cheek on the top of your head.

You’re beginning to become flustered. At the moment you miss the old flirty Sylvain. He’s acting..shy? Inviting you to Gautier sounded like a business transaction more than inviting a woman over. “Are you seeing anyone right now? Have you decided what you want to do for yourself?” you ask.  

“Uh. No. I haven’t really thought about it for a long time. Its like once the pressure was off from my father, I just didn’t need to do that anymore. But yeah, I want to get married to a woman that I love, maybe have children, and shower them with as much love as I can muster. Make peace with the Sreng. Make the people of Gautier happy too. What about you? Are you seeing anyone? What do you want?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to get married and have children. Now that the war is over that certainly is a possibility.” You begin. “And you know I like to help people, help them help themselves. I am seriously considering a job offer that I feel I am qualified for. I’m thrilled to find that someone I have been interested in for quite a while is currently single. So things are looking pretty good.” You look up at his face smiling.

Sylvain looks down at you smiling, but unsure.

Your hands slide up his chest, going around his neck and you pull him down toward you, finally he gets the idea and bends down to kiss you gently.

“That took you forever.” You gasp smiling up at him.

“I thought I had already missed my chance. I thought at least if I could be near you that would be fine.” He smiles, kissing you again.

“Ever since I saw you at the reunion, I could tell you were different in the best sort of way. You weren’t hiding behind a mask, you were acting like yourself. As long as you be your true self with me, I will always want to be near you.” You hold Sylvain tightly under the stars.

 *****Epilogue

The wedding is the following spring. Both of you frequently travel all about Gautier territory, constantly talking with the people and responding to their needs. You find some people that speak Sreng and learn the language and culture well enough to be able to parlay and work towards a peace agreement. You give up some of the Gautier lands that the Sreng say are important to them. In turn they pay for this property with many rare minerals and jewels that are from their lands. You use this money to improve the roads and lives for the people of Gautier. Sylvain does spoil you rotten. You have at least 8 children and have no idea if any has a crest, not that you care. The Lance of Ruin is given to Byleth to do whatever she wants with the horrid weapon.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 77 Rundown!

Code Geass: So since Shirley’s dead, Lelouch has a similar thought to Cornelia and blames the power of Geass itself instead of her actual murderer. So instead of using the Geass Order like he planned he decides to say fuck it and burn it all to the ground, completing his Darth Vader transformation by not only killing the men, but the women AND THE CHILDREN AND THE SCIENTISTS (Science is the fourth gender, look it up, it’s in Dr. Stone). But yeah half of this episode is just murdering scientist who granted were making child supersoldiers but also don’t have any weapons, like they have zero security no wonder Cornelia was able to walk right up to V.V. And the Black Knights are pissed about killing civilians but I feel like once the horde of children starts making them shoot each other they should get the picture. Rolo murders all his friends, C.C. murders all her former supports, Dietard puts a ninja hit out on Ohgi and Viletta also wants to kill Ohgi, poor Ohgi the dude has like nothing going for him and just ended up in this fucked up chess game and he’s just some dude that fell in love when he saw Viletta naked (didn’t we all)  but anyway V.V. pilots Jeremiah’s Pumpkin Battleship and before Lelouch can make Rolo kamikaze himself for killing Shirley, Cornelia wipes him out anyway in probably her most badass moment in the series, using the Pumpkin Battleship’s Byakugan Blindspot to bring it down. V.V. is dead like five times over but Charles comes out to drag Lelouch into the Spear of Longinus so he can do Human Instrumentality or whatever.

Inuyasha: Naraku’s kidnapped Rin so Sesshomaru will kill Inuyasha for him and Sesshomaru hates two things more than anything: being implied he likes humans, and being told what to do, so he tells Naraku to fuck off and goes to fuck him up. This being one of Naraku’s plans of course Sesshomaru doesn’t actually have a choice in this and the battle is a farce so he can spread bits of himself all over and absorb Sesshomaru like Super Buu did to Mystic Gohan. However Inuyasha’s new powerup lets him throw a wrench in that by breaking his barrier and Kagura has to pretend to fight him even though she just wants the doggy brothers to fuck Naraku up. Also Kohaku and Rin have a cute little interaction while he’s holding her captive and Kohaku sees Sango again which triggers his selective amnesia shit. Like you get the feeling Kagura probably would’ve been a better guard for Rin but Naraku only has so many named demons and Kanna isn’t allowed to do anything so might as well throw Kohaku in there to get bonus mental damage to Sango which only works out if you know they’re going to split up like that. But again, this is one of Naraku’s plans so it’s like 50% torture, 50% just trolling people to fuck with their heads.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Younger Toguro faked his death and ambushes Yusuke’s date with Keiko because the plot just doesn’t want this relationship to happen. Toguro pulls up on a motorcycle which is just kind of weird to see and he takes Yusuke somewhere, idk if they walked or if Yusuke got on the back of the motorcycle but Toguro either tossing his motorcycle away to go walk to a car park with Yusuke or Yusuke holding onto Toguro’s waist while they ride are equally hilarious images. Anyway Toguro demolishes the parking garage while still breaking all the rocks that are about to crush Yusuke just to literally flex on him how much stronger he was than when they fought. It’s weird because Toguro seems to kinda be mad about having to fake a loss but also respect Yusuke as a fighter which is strange since Kuwabara was the one that put in the effort for that fake win. That doesn’t matter though cause it’s DARK TOURNAMENT TIME BABY! One of the most iconic anime arcs ever is about to begin and it’s kinda funny they yadda yadda over a two month training arc like there’s like three minutes of Kuwabara training with Hiei and Kurama (where Kurama is the bad cop ironically enough) and Yusuke training with Genkai again before it’s like “Okay let’s just get to the tournament” like I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anime where they announce the tournament and then go sign up for it in the same episode, usually they milk that shit to really sell the preparation but they go with “Here’s a few scene and Yusuke’s a lot stronger now, take our word for it” which is a funny way to start one of the most epic tournament arcs ever.

Fate Zero: This is an episode I’ve heard a lot about, Iskandar, Saber and Gilgamesh fuck around drinking, the whole thing kinda reads like a fanfiction or a Ghost in the Shell episode since 75% of it is just talking. Gilgamesh is basically like “Yo, see that shit? All that shit is my shit, even if I don’t know what it is, it’s mine, so fuck off.” Iskandar’s like “What could the man who once conquered the whole world want? To conquer the whole world TWICE!” and Saber’s like “Hey my whole country got destroyed cause I was thrown into a role I was grossly underqualified for so, maybe not that?” and this pisses Iskandar off because her regret and martyrdom isolates and enfeebles her, he sees the downfall of nations as inevitable and leadership as something to form a community that emulates their leader, not to isolate the ruler as some lone pillar. Also Kirei’s Assassins jump them and Iskandar uses Unlimited Dude Works to stomp them all. Basically it’s the whole Ling/Bradley discussion from FMA but with more nuance, rulers have to benefit their people but they can’t be so dragged down by it that it destroys everyone involved once that pillar collapses. So Iskandar’s like “Yeah you have a really toxic way of looking at things Saber, I’m out. Stop beating yourself up about what’s already happened.” And Gilgamesh is like “No, let her keep beating herself up, this fun, I’m having fun.” So Saber has the admiration of the villain and the disdain of the hero which is an odd situation to be in.

Konosuba: So this one is an OVA or something I think so we don’t get closure on the whole “Kazuma is going to jail for horny and non-horny crimes alike” subplot but we do get a cute little story about Kazuma slowly getting murdered while basically doing the Higurashi Punishment Games on everyone. Ironically he’s not pervy enough for Darkness or Aqua because he’s just a voyeur for Darkness and Aqua he apparently has no sexual attraction to whatsoever. It’s kind of interesting because a few times one or two of them heavily imply they’d just straight up take his virginity if it’d help and he doesn’t go for it, I don’t know if that’s better or worse than what he actually does but once again the ‘principled scumbag’ archetype comes into play and it’s always fun to see what Kazuma will or won’t do, it tends to be just enough that we’re willing to see him punished but not enough to make us hate him, it’s a surprisingly good balance. Anyway, Darkness is boobs, Kazuma may be a lolicon for Megumin, Yunyun and Wiz are also boobs, Aqua is boner repellant and Kazuma dies anyway because the real wish was the friends we made along the way but real friends are the ones that murder you when you’re a scumbag… or something. On to Season 2 next week!

Sailor Moon Crystal: I’m kind of  loving the Evil Tuxedo Mask aesthetic, like the bishie face with the red eyes and the suit is really cool-looking. Anyway Tuxedo Mask is evil now and seduces Usagi all over again with the power of evil and video games. There’s probably a message here about girls falling for toxic boys but that’s the subtext over a lot of Sailor Moon that there’s lots of bullshit out to get teen girls and they shouldn’t waste their energy on it. Usagi’s kind of having an existential crisis over evil Tuxedo Mask and Luna’s feeling bad about calling him evil before and now that he actually is evil she doesn’t know what to do. Anyway he finds Zordon’s Tower by hypnotizing Makoto and we do the full transformation scene and speech for four of the scouts so you really know they were stretching the plot with this one. Usagi gets over herself but it’s too late, Evil Mask has the crystal and summons Queen Beryl by… flapping his cape, guess calling her was that easy, man you’d think they coulda just stomped these guys a long time ago but oh well.

Durarara!!: We leave off where Shizuo just crushed someone with a car door, good times. Celty takes the knife they had, believing it to be Saika but is so superstitious about it she doesn’t even see it’s a crappy Pampered Chef knife that’s like two years old max. Then Haruna, the reporter’s daughter reveals not only did she have a weird relationship with the teacher hitting on Anri but she’s also controlling all the Saika zombies around the city because to swords cutting people is loving them like how sharks bite things to see what they are. She sics her army on Anri and Shizuo separately and goes after her teacher who was just coming to sexually harass Anri again so… yay? Anyway Shizuo says fuck you to being in a polyamorous relationship with hundreds of sword zombies and Anri reveals that Haruna’s Saika isn’t the real Saika because HER Saika is the real Saika, we got katana school girls here folks, it really is an anime after all.

[iturbide]

Do you have any specific plans for how Dimitri's redemption (or at least, getting through some of his problems) would go in Kintsugi? I really enkoy fix-its and you being the one to write it means I'll absolutely love it because I love everything you write!!

Oh I have so many Dimitri thoughts for Kintsugi it’s gonna be a blast (also color me extremely flattered that you’re so looking forward to it like wow that makes me really happy ;v; ❤)

So Dimitri’s recovery arc is going to be significantly longer than the one in the game.  I understand that the game had time constraints on it, but the literal 180 after Rodrigue’s death was a little much for me.  This is not to say that I don’t appreciate them giving a mentally ill character a storyline that allows for recovery, I just wish they hadn’t compressed that down into the tiniest space possible.

Kintsugi takes a different approach, though it does maintain some familiar elements.  Dimitri still escaped Cornelia’s clutches with help from Dedue, and spent several years out in harsh wilds of the Kingdom hunting down the Empire’s scouts and patrols, which started rumors among Imperial forces about a vicious beast roaming the areas that have yet to be incorporated into the Dukedom’s territory.  Around the time that Claude reunited with Byleth, Gilbert managed to find Dimitri -- and believing this was some sign from the Goddess, he immediately went about rallying former Blue Lions under a Kingdom banner, using Dimitri as a figurehead for the Imperial opposition despite the fact that Dimitri was clearly unstable and ill-suited for true leadership.

The rumors of the beast begin to travel south with Gilbert marshaling the troops and more or less steering Dimitri’s murderous intent toward the Empire.  By the time these rumors reach Garreg Mach, the former Golden Deer have made it their base of operations -- and importantly, they reach the nearest Imperial outpost where Randolph is stationed with his little sister Fleche.  When Randolph’s troop goes out and falls in the attack on the monastery, Fleche does not witness it -- but she can only imagine that a monster could have taken her brother’s life, and swears her revenge.

By the time the Great Bridge of Myrddin falls into Alliance hands, the Kingdom troops have made their way deep into Gloucester territory, and shortly after the force from Garreg Mach heads out toward Gronder Gilbert begs leave of the Alliance troops manning the bridge to use it in their southward march.  This eventually puts all three armies on the field of the former Battle of the Eagle and Lion -- and puts Edelgard squarely in Dimitri’s sights, which is easily the most dangerous possible thing that could have happened, especially when Gilbert is the one holding the reins.

Realizing that Dimitri is not dead, as the rumors had claimed, Claude and Byleth choose to split their forces: Byleth heads out to confront Edelgard, while Claude goes to try and talk Dimitri down.  Given his current mental state, though, Dimitri’s not about to listen, and in fact considers Claude an obstacle standing between him and his goal -- which leads to Claude getting shot out of the sky by an impressively-launched spear.  He might have died then and there, no less -- but Byleth managed to force Edelgard’s retreat, and made their way back to help Claude out in the nick of time, using the Sword of the Creator’s whip-like reach to force Dimitri back while they’re still inbound.

This is the first thing that really manages to reach Dimitri.  He’s been on a single-minded quest to murder Edelgard up to this point, spurred on by the voices of those lost -- and that includes Byleth.  But seeing Byleth so suddenly, and so clearly, really unbalances him, and he tries to explain that he will claim Edelgard’s head for the deaths she’s caused, including the professor’s...and Byleth, of course, has no idea what he’s talking about.  Unlike every other hallucination, Byleth remains silent -- they spoke just like the other spirits before,  which is strange given that Byleth’s non-verbal, but honestly Dimitri wasn’t in any real state to question that -- and simply puts away their weapon and approaches with an open hand.  Dimitri tries to swat it away -- and as soon as he makes real, physical contact with what he believed was a spirit, he pretty much breaks, grabbing for Byleth’s hand and clinging tight to it like an anchor.

Which is where the battle stops: with Dimitri’s effective surrender.  Both the Alliance and Kingdom forces set up camp at Gronder, reunions are had on all sides...but Byleth ends up in a quiet place off to one side with Dimitri, who pretty well passes out as soon as the battle’s over while still clinging to Byleth’s hand.  Claude sneaks in at some point to apprise Byleth of the Kingdom situation according to Gilbert and the former Blue Lions, and discusses some options for what they could possibly do next.  Unfortunately, just reuniting with Byleth isn’t enough to stop Dimitri’s obsession with getting justice for the dead, so despite Claude’s offer of alliance, Dimitri refuses, only agreeing to travel with the Alliance troops because they’re going in the same direction.

Naturally, though, Claude and Byleth both interact with him frequently to try and make him reconsider.  This doesn’t have any obvious effects at first, but Dimitri is listening, and whether he means to or not he starts gravitating toward the both of them because unlike Gilbert -- who is mostly pushing him to restore the Kingdom -- or his fellow classmates -- whose reactions run on a spectrum from denouncing him (like Felix), wanting to “fix” him (like Ingrid), or simply following his lead (like Dedue) -- they reach out to him as he is now, with no expectations and no ulterior motives, offering him a kind of stability that he’s long been lacking.  His interactions with them are initially rather harsh, but they both take it as a good sign that he’s interacting with them of his own volition at all.

This culminates at Merceus where Dimitri is well aware that both Byleth and Claude are entering as infantry units alongside him.  They manage to chase down the Death Knight, though he escapes before they’re able to put an end to him...and that’s where the Javelins of Light come in.  Nobody has ever seen anything like this (though there are very old records of something similar happening at Ailell), but Dimitri instinctively knows that This Is Bad.  Claude is grounded, Byleth never had a mount to begin with -- so rather than cut and run, Dimitri grabs them and gets the hell out so he can be sure they escape too.

This is a turning point.  Because after Merceus’ destruction, knowing now that they’re up against something they can’t begin to understand, the Alliance troops elect to withdraw back to Myrddin and plan their next course of action.  The Kingdom forces -- who, again, have no formal alliance with Claude or Byleth -- could theoretically continue south toward Enbarr, and Gilbert in fact encourages this...but Dimitri steps up and refuses.  He makes the choice himself to ally with Claude and Byleth, merge their forces, and fight together.  This means that the Kingdom troops head back to Myrddin, too -- and from there, Claude elects to send a small force north into the Kingdom, rally the holdouts against Cornelia, and take back Fhirdiad.  After all, the Empire’s spread pretty thin between Adrestia and the “Dukedom,” so taking out portions of that army -- especially in the territory where reinforcements will be harder to come by -- will serve to weaken Edelgard’s army for when they finally come back around to marching on Enbarr.

Now, in this northward procession, they still have a small group of camp followers -- and Fleche, unbeknownst to them, is part of this force.  She still believes (incorrectly) that Dimitri is the one who killed her brother, since he’s still vicious even on a good day and his stability is questionable at best; all she needs is a clear shot...which comes when they make it to Fraldarius territory and meet up with Rodrigue.  Distracted by the reunion with an old friend, Dimitri leaves himself open for a crucial moment, and she makes her attack...but fails: she might manage to bring him down, briefly, but she doesn’t manage to kill him thanks to Claude and Byleth’s intervention; unfortunately, they’re unable to take her alive.

This doesn’t hit Dimitri so much as it hits Claude, whose whole dream revolves around bringing people together.  Every death he can’t prevent, every death he causes, is one more person he won’t be able to reach, one more person who won’t be able to see that dream realized, who won’t be able to help bring that world about because he failed to connect with them -- and Fleche was just a little girl.  She had her whole life ahead of her, and now she’s gone, and her blood is on his hands and sometimes when he looks down and thinks about the lives he’s taken he feels the weight of his grand, glorious, unattainable, impossible dream crushing down on him...and as this all comes crushing in on him that night as he charts their next plan of action, he pushes himself away from his work and goes outside to look at the stars, because that vast, endless sky always makes his dream feel a little smaller by comparison, enough that he can manage to carry it for another day.

And this is where he finds Dimitri skulking about, and they end up talking a little bit.  Claude opens up for once, and Dimitri’s struck by this sudden show of vulnerability: he always assumed that Claude’s careless, casual, carefree demeanor hid a cunning wit and dangerous schemes...but he never expected this to be hiding in there, too.  So he opens up a little bit, too, about what drives him (things he’s only ever spoken about with Byleth, and trusted would remain in confidence), the people he’s cared for who have died and who now haunt his every step, and how he lives to see their will done and vengeance claimed...

And Claude looks at him and tells him that the dead shouldn’t get a say in what he does with his life.  They’re gone.  And Dimitri just kind of stares at him because this is not the usual reaction he gets when he talks about this stuff -- fear, maybe, or pity, sometimes even encouragement...but not this.  So Claude backs up a little and comes at it from a different angle, because as he admits he’s never lost someone the way Dimitri has.  He can’t speak to that.  But he can feel the weight of the lives he’s taken during this war, and he knows that no amount of regret of spilled blood will ever bring them back: it’s just going to cause more pain and end more lives to haunt them in the dark.  All he can do is keep moving forward now, trying to reach out to people and bring them together rather than raising weapons to drive them apart.  This is the path he chose for himself, and he’ll keep struggling down it, fighting if there’s no other recourse (and gods know there hasn’t been lately), because it’s his choice.  No one else’s.  And maybe he’s out of line, but he doesn’t think Dimitri should let the ghosts decide his path for him, either: they had their lives, but what’s left now is his, and he’s the only one who can live it.

And this is another turning point.  Because Dimitri has never had someone say anything like this to him before -- heck, it flies in the face of everything he’s been told growing up.  He needs time to process it all, and Claude’s words keep coming back to him as surely as the voices of the dead do...until there comes a point where, at the end of a battle, he stumbles to a stop and looks at his spear and asks himself: what is he fighting so hard for?  So he goes back to Claude, and asks for advice on something he...could do, rather than what he should do, because he feels like he’s coming a bit untethered without vengeance to drive him.

Recovery is a slow process, basically.  It’s gradual, it’s non-linear, it tends to be fraught with backslides and stumbling blocks -- but it’s possible, with effort and with help.  And Kintsugi is all about tackling that: Dimitri will be on the road to recovery by the time they retake Fhirdiad from Cornelia (and when Claude tries to reassure Dimitri that she must have been lying about Patricia, Dimitri only hugs him silently, grateful for the attempt even though the woman’s words rang true), but even when they take Enbarr it’s still a work in progress, such that Claude purposefully positions himself between Dimitri and Edelgard in the eventual round table between the three Lords, Byleth, and Rhea (with Byleth between Edelgard and Rhea, understandably). 

It’s gonna be a trip and I’m still absolutely psyched about it.

[naruwitch]

Code Geass: Paladins of Voltron Chapter 37: Battle for Home

The entire perimeter of the Tokyo Settlement had crumbled. All power shorted out throughout the entire city, including the areas that haven't been destroyed yet. Any Galran-Brittainian forces on the ground had been crushed or scattered. Even the Galra vessels in the sky had been thrown off-guard, especially after the Castleship's massive attack, flying around frantically like drunken bees.

It was a window of confusion that the Voltron Coalition didn't let go to waste.

"ATTACK!"

Lelouch's booming cry from the head of Voltron was all the fleet needed to surge forward. Like shooting stars, the Seishins, Lancelot, Gawain, and any other upgraded Knightmares they had at their disposal launched into the settlement. From the sky, the Castleship's particle barrier rose once more, but it didn't retreat up into the clouds. Practically making up an army on its own, lasers and blasts from the barrier raining down on the Galra ships, providing much needed cover for the Black Knights in combat.

There were also ground Knightmares and additional troops on the ground, with Ohgi in the lead to take down any remaining straggling Britannian troops.

"Third Squad, take the media sector!" Tohdoh ordered as the map of the areas to secure appeared on his Knightmare's screen, "Sixth Squad, the harbor! Special Forces, suppress the lower levels! The rest of you, push in from the front! Leave the Galra forces to the Aerial troops! Focus on gathering intelligence on any remaining enemy ground forces! Quickly!"

"My soldiers! Hear me!" Cornelia shouted from within the Gawain, the Lancelot flanking her, "Push them back to the Britannian Government Bureau!"

"Yes, Princess!" her squadron answered as one, Guilford, Darlton, and Nonette's voices among them.

"Form sword!" Lelouch ordered. With a growl, Suzaku slammed his Bayard into the port and the weapon manifested. With a burst from its rockets, Voltron sped towards the closest Galra cruiser, the sword slicing through it like a hot knife through butter.

"Alright!" Rivalz exclaimed before pausing, Polaris's purr suddenly increasing, "What…?" the Blue Paladin suddenly gasped as the Bayard port slowly rose from the dashboard, "You sure?"

"What is it, Rivalz?" Lelouch questioned.

"Um, not sure, but Polaris wants to try something!"

"Let's do it then!" Milly exclaimed eagerly, similar feelings bouncing off the other Paladins as well.

"Here goes nothing then!" Rivalz shouted as he slammed his Bayard into the port.

Outside, the sword in Voltron's hand vanished, only for a blue outline to form on the robot's right shoulder. Grasping the cannon with both arms, a bright glow enveloped the muzzle before a flash exploded out, huge sonic waves escaping and racing towards another Galran vessel. The ship froze in mid-flight, the lights inside flickering dangerously before everything went dark, and the cruiser descended into the sea, humongous waves blasting away from the impact.

"Whoa! Nice!" Tamaki cheered from his Seishin as he and a few other Knightmares paused in flight to witness the display.

"That's a new one," Darlton muttered in awe, vaguely remembering the similar cannon that would appear on the Blue Lion's back from time to time. The knight would admit that while he hated having to fight the Paladins as enemies, as allies, they were incredible.

Nunnally barely noticed how her arms began to ache from squeezing them too hard as she stared down at her legs. She could vaguely hear the sounds of cannons and lasers flying outside as her brother, his friends, and other allies were fighting for the very fate of their home. And now, even after regaining her legs and sight, she still felt useless. She knew her brother had told her otherwise, but she couldn't stop the feeling of helplessness crawling through her body.

Why was it that every time she tried to help, to accomplish something good, it crumbled in her hands? At the zone, when her own father had raised guns at her and her family,  Lelouch had been the one to shield her, and she had just froze. Exactly like she had when-

"Nunnally, take a deep breath for me…" C.C.'s calm voice ordered softly, shaking her from what she now realized was a minor panic attack.

Still, she did her best to obey and took a shuddering breath in and out, slowly returning to herself.

"There, feeling better?" the immortal asked, her blunt voice laced with concern.

Nunnally swallowed but nodded slightly. Dragging her eyes from her legs, they landed on Euphemia, still unconscious in the pod behind her, but at least alive.

"...This is too much," Nunnally whispered, "Why did it come down to this? He… he tried to kill  Euphie. He tried to…"

Kill me… remained unsaid.

C.C. sighed, not in frustration but out of pure resignation and exhaustion. "There are simply people in this world who… aren't good, Nunnally. They won't accept anything unless it's for their benefit. I've met more than my fair share of those people in my long life."

Nunnally grit her teeth, tears prickling the corners of her eyes. "Yes, I know that… And I know big brother told me this isn't true, but I still feel useless! Brother and the others are all fighting, risking their lives, and I still can't do anything even with my sight and legs back!"

C.C. took a moment to gather her thoughts. This wasn't Lelouch, who she could be straightforward and factual with in her nearly emotionless tone. This was a scared, desperate young girl who had been thrown time and again into situations she shouldn't have to deal with.

"...Nunnally, just because you aren't out there fighting doesn't mean you're useless. Everyone has a role to play in war. Some find their roles right away like the Paladins did. Others discover their roles later, waiting and watching for the time to come. That act alone can be excruciating. And there are even those who don't realize until the conflict ends that they  did  play a role when they look back and realize that their smaller, seemingly unseen actions, helped bring victory."

C.C. paused as the young princess looked up.

"And sometimes, there are simply places that we need to be that aren't the battlefield. And right now, your sister needs someone to be here when she wakes up, and…" she paused, then placed a hand on Nunnally's shoulder, "You're not alone here, Nunnally. I promised your brother I'd be there for him, and I'll be here for you as well."

Nunnally felt her emotions boil over and couldn't stop herself from lunging at C.C. She felt like she had cried so much the last several days, both from sorrow and happiness, but these were most certainly tears of gratitude.

"Thank you…" she hiccuped, "Thank you for helping Lelouch. And Suzaku, and everyone! Thank you… thank you…"

C.C. froze for a moment in surprise at the sudden action, but slowly, her arms wrapped around the young girl as well.

"I will," she whispered back, "I'll be there for all of you…"

  'And you won't lay so much as a finger on them, Charles. Or you… Marianne.'

A beeping sound soon attracted the pair's attention, and in a burst of steam, the frame on Euphemia's pod dissolved. Her eyes shot open with a gasp as she slumped forward, C.C. catching her before she could hit the ground.

Chigusa shielded her eyes as a bright laser from the Castle's shields struck an oncoming Galra fighter, where it burst into flames and impacted the barrier itself. While the hexagonal pieces made it difficult to view the fight from a window, she caught glimpses of battle on the ground and air. People were fighting for their lives outside, fighting a seemingly impossible battle in hopes that they may be able to win and save their home.

She let out a shuddering breath, daring to wonder just how many had died now. The massacre that happened just hours prior had been devastating enough, and while she lent her assistance in treating the injured that were brought on board, so many more still succumbed to their injuries. And that nightmare wasn't over yet.

A jolt of pain suddenly pierced her skull. Chigusa groaned and clutched her head, any surrounding sounds and noise being drowned out from the buzzing in her skull.

The Gawain's hadron cannons unleashed a devastating attack against a group of nearly three dozen Galra fighters, melting the metal and exploding moments later.

"Die you alien scum!" Cornelia roared as she fired the Knightmare's slash harkens into two more she had missed.

A crash from behind her made her jump, and looking at her monitor, she spotted Guilford's Seishin lowering his maser sword and a fighter, cut cleanly in two, descending to the ground.

"Tch," she scoffed, "Coward, attacking from behind!"

"Are you alright, Princess?" Guilford asked.

"Yes, don't worry about me, Guilford. What's the status of the rest of the squad?"

"Our casualties are substantial, but the Glaston Knights and Darlton are holding a position just ahead of here, pushing towards the Bureau as you ordered. Nonette is providing back up where she can."

"Excellent! Continue at this pace. Our comrades' deaths won't be in vain! Lelouch, did you catch that?"

"Every word, Cornelia," Lelouch acknowledged as Voltron's sonic cannon disabled another cruiser, "Ohgi, status on ground troops?"

"Raiko cannons are at the ready!" Kaname responded, "Ground troops mostly consist of those sentry robots and Britannian infantry units!"

"Concentrate the Raikos on the Britannian forces. Use your own Knightmare weapons on the sentries. Aim for the heads and arms to disable them!"

"Understood!"

"Suzaku! We need the sword again," Lelouch exclaimed as the sonic cannon vanished.

To his surprise, though, the Purple Paladin didn't respond.

"Suzaku?!" Rai exclaimed.

From inside Yoru, Suzaku was frozen. Not in fear or shock, but it seemed like someone had pressed the pause button on a television. His eyes were wide and staring straight ahead, the left glowing bright with the Geass sigil. It wasn't until several seconds later that the Purple Paladin blinked and shook his head.

"What the…?" What had just happened? He saw a large object approaching Earth rapidly. What was-

"SUZAKU!" the rest of the team shouted in unison.

"Uh-sorry!" he scrambled to realign and sync his mind with the group once more.

"Keep your head in the game, Kururugui!" Kallen barked.

"Right… sorry!" he apologized, shaking his head, but couldn't shake the image of a familiar dark transport crashing onto the battlefield from his mind.

Focusing once more, he reinserted his Bayard, the sword manifesting once more.

"Lady Haggar,"  a head druid addressed on the ship's main bridge, "The latest weapons are now complete. Lord Zarkon has ordered their launch and will reach your destination within five dobashes."

"Good," Haggar acknowledged, "These humans are more resilient than we originally thought. But even with the assistance of the Altean princess, this world will fall by day's end."

"Haggar, if I may, I have an idea I'd like to propose," V.V. approached slowly as the call ended.

"Hm?" she turned to the immortal, eyes narrowing.

V.V. scowled at first before his features schooled themselves again, "Right now, the Paladins and Black Knights are focused on the battlefield, they likely have only left the bare minimum necessary on the Castle of Lions, in order to guard their families and the rescued civilians."

"I advise you get to the point," Haggar frowned deeply, eyes seeming to drill into V.V.

"I simply request you transport me on board the castle," V.V. explained, "I would do it myself with the help of the Thought Elevator, but unfortunately, that pesky Black Lion destroyed it on the island, making my range more limited, hence why I'm asking for assistance."

"And why would I assist with this?" she asked scathingly.

V.V. resisted the urge to growl at being talked down to so belligerently but continued, "It's simple. I will capture Princess Nunnally and C.C. as well. They are both on board and likely not being guarded too closely. This could be a prime opportunity to deal a more… personal blow to Zero."

Haggar wasn't the only one to glare suspiciously at the immortal at this proposal, as Charles eyed his brother cautiously as well. He could see where his brother's line of thinking was going. Above all else, Lelouch's first priority was, and always would be, Nunnally. If he heard she was in danger, he would likely drop everything, even abandon the battlefield to help her.

"It could work," Charles finally spoke, "So long as she remains safe, everything else comes second to Zero. If V.V. succeeds, we'll have a firm hold on Voltron, and the rest of Earth will have little to no resistance without a leader. And if that's not enough, my Geass can rewrite her memories. I could make her despise Zero, which would deal a further emotional blow to Zero and the Paladins as well."

"While that is true," Haggar admitted, "Why capture this C.C.? Your power will have no effect on her. She will be of little use as a pawn."

"Perhaps," V.V. agreed, "but it's best to keep someone like her, who holds to the ability as me to grant Geass, away from our enemies. You are more than welcome to do anything you want with her. With your forces on our side, she's outlived her usefulness."

Haggar continued to stare suspiciously at the two and didn't miss the way Charles's eyes flickered at the mention of this 'C.C.' It was clear they, or at least he was planning something with the girl. But, should she be in their hands, Haggar could have more control over her whereabouts and keep a closer eye on these two. Plus, if the smaller one's plan succeeded, it sounded like they would severely cripple Voltron, which would make it that much easier for her Lord to obtain the Lions.

"Very well," Haggar finally conceded, "I will go along with your plan… Under the condition that both of them are brought first to me. Should you do so otherwise, there will be… painful consequences. Am I clear?"

Both V.V. and Charles hesitated for a moment before they both nodded.

Before V.V. turned to leave, though, Haggar held out her hand, and to the bewilderment of the two, a small ball of energy formed in her palm before shrinking to about the size of a marble.

"Take this," she instructed, holding her hand out to V.V. The 'boy' hesitated before plucking the marble from her palm, "If you truly wish to succeed in this mission, have that make contact with the woman. It will render her powerless."

V.V. looked at the marble skeptically once more before smirking and stashing it in his pocket.

"You have my thanks…"

"Ha!" Kallen exclaimed as Voltron slammed its surger claw into the bow of another Galra cruiser. It lit up like a nightlight before the insides imploded, sending debris flying everywhere. "Alright! Who's next?!"

"Paladins!"  Coran suddenly exclaimed through the comms.

"Go on, Coran," Lelouch requested.

  "We believe we've identified the Galra's flagship. If it's destroyed, it will destabilize the Galras' communication! From there, it should be easy to push back any remaining Galra troops!"

At hearing this, Lelouch couldn't help but grin widely. The other Paladins shared similar sentiment through the link.

"Very good, then we-"

"Paladins, wait!" Allura's panicked voice suddenly interrupted.

"What's wrong, Allura?" Milly asked, immediately noticing her tone.

  "Something large is approaching Earth's atmosphere, and it's not another warship!"

"Something large…?" Rivalz asked.

Suzaku felt his blood grow cold. His mind flashed back to the… vision (?) he had just over fifteen dobashes prior. He had seen something large crash land on the battlefield. Could have…?

"All Black Knights, projectile incoming!" Lelouch warned as he spotted the object Allura mentioned rapidly approaching.

Several Seishins, both ground and air, scrambled to get out of the way as with a deafening crash, the object landed in front of Voltron.

An object with a certain coffin-like shape to it.

"Oh no…" Shirley whispered in horror, "Is that… what I think it is…?"

"Yeah," Kallen nodded, "Looks like we got another Ro-Beast!"

"Zero, what is that?!" Chiba demanded as most other forces, both with and against Voltron, stopped to stare at the newest threat.

"Bad news…" was all Lelouch could say before, with a resounding click, the device opened, clouds of steam emanating from inside. The front and sides of the structure tumbled to the ground, revealing the grotesque monster within.

The creature this time was colored almost completely white with only a few hints of red and purple, with a pointed head, long limbs, and even a hunched back. Much like the Drazil Ro-Beast, the creature's mouth was aligned with sharp, overlapping teeth.

"Black Knights! Evacuate the area! We'll deal with this!" Lelouch ordered.

"You're facing that thing on your own?!" Nonette's voice exclaimed.

"Nonette, we'll be fine. This isn't the first Ro-Beast we've fought!" Rai barked, "Just focus on your own fight!"

The beast's head then suddenly jerked up, and malicious red eyes flashed to life. A sound similar to a rumbling growl could be heard as it gazed around before finally landing on Voltron. Its eyes widened upon seeing them before it threw its head back and screamed.

On the ground and in the air, several Knightmares faltered as their pilots were forced to cover their ears. Even Cornelia, Nonette, and Guilford did, and they were the ones most used to being around bomb explosions and Knightmare engines.

The only ones unaffected were the Paladins themselves. And a good thing too, as seconds later, long, sharp claws shot out from the beast, aiming to pierce Voltron's chest.

"Rai, shield!" Lelouch shouted almost frantically.

The Green Lion's shield blocked the metallic claws in the knick of time, scraping across like nails on a chalkboard.

This action only seemed to enrage the Ro-Beast, as it shrieked again and charged at them, purple flaming jetpacks blazing behind it.

On instinct, Shirley and Rivalz fired Voltron's thrusters as well, and Voltron shot into the sky. To their shock, the Ro-Beast followed after them with barely any delay, almost like it knew they were going to dodge upward. It pulled a clawed hand back again.

"Okay, two can play at that game, bud!" Kallen exclaimed, plunging her Bayard into her port.

The wave surger claw manifested, and Kallen swung with a roar towards the Ro-Beast's head… only for the beast to catch the arm right under Aka's neck, effectively stopping the surger without injuring its hand or head.

"What?!" Kallen gasped.

"It stopped us?!" Milly added, just as shocked as the others.

The Ro-Beast didn't waste the opportunity as it head-butted Voltron and threw him downwards, impacting the ground hard.

Lelouch grunted in pain, Zen's cockpit still vibrating from the impact. "Okay…" he gritted out.

"Alright, this guy is asking for it!" Rivalz snarled, reinserting his own Bayard. The sonic cannon reappeared on Voltron's shoulder, blasting a bout of sonic waves at the Ro-Beast. Twisting like a fighter jet in a show, the Ro-Beast easily dodged every blast sent its way.

"Suzaku! Sword!" Lelouch shouted.

Suzaku's Bayard released the sword in the knick of time as the weapon blocked the beast's claws, scraping loudly, metal on metal, before managing to push it off of them and rocket into the sky again, kicking up a large cloud of dust in the process. The beast screeched as the cloud engulfed the area.

Seeing this as an opportunity, Lelouch narrowed his eyes, "Shirley! Arrows now!"

Seconds later, Voltron's bow appeared in his hands, and with his eyes to the back of the Ro-Beast, they let the arrow lose…

...Only for the Ro-Beast to duck like it was casually dodging a ball in a park.

"What?!" Kallen exclaimed.

"Tha-Does it have eyes on the back of its head or something?!" Rivalz exclaimed.

"Tch… what the hell's going on?!" Lelouch cursed before Voltron flew into the sky again, and this time the Ro-Beast followed with a roar after them.

"Lelouch!" Cornelia gasped, watching in horror as the enemy robot gave close chase to Voltron.

"Nelly!" Nonette exclaimed, the Lancelot spinning through the air to Cornelia's side. She seemed to be thinking the same thing, as both women attempted to follow, hoping to assist somehow.

Keyword 'attempted.'

A loud popping sound drew everyone's eyes to the coffin-like structure again, and this time, another machine, this one much smaller than the first, burst out, spinning vigorously and charging right towards the Gawain and the Lancelot.

Cornelia cursed as she barely maneuvered the Knightmare away from what she realized were spinning blades from the new weapon. While it was still much smaller than the Ro-Beast, it was at least three times bigger than even the Gawain.

"What is-"

"ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!" a voice Cornelia hadn't heard for months echoed from within the object. It appeared to be a black sphere with five large red spikes along its side, two on its upper sides, two on its lower sides, and one at the very bottom. There also, much to the women's horror, a human, or at least, it looked human, hooked into it as his face was shown from the open cockpit.

"What is this? Black Knights?! Dissenters?!" the cyborg asked eagerly, madness saturated in his tone, "Oh what luck, what fate! What fortune for me!"

"Who the hell is…?" Nonette questioned before Guilford and Darlton finally caught up to the two.

"It can't be…!" Guilford gasped, dread curling in his gut.

"Jeremiah Gottwald! Is that you in there?!" Darlton cried out.

"Gottwald?" David questioned, he and other Glaston Knights flying next to them, "You mean the one involved with the Orange thing?"

That word, the O-word, seemed to trigger something in the man's head as he gasped and began to shake in rage before finally clasping his hands together, "I beseech you…! I'm begging you, please die! Die at the hands of the Siegfried!"

The spikes on the machine suddenly began to spin rapidly as Jeremiah was lowered back inside, reminiscing a top, before it charged towards Cornelia and her guard.

"Scatter!" she ordered as the Siegfried machine cut through them, hitting Edgar's Knightmare in the process.

"No! Father-!" he cried out as the Seishin cut in two.

"Edgar!" Darlton shouted, staring in horror as the Knightmare's remains dropped to the Earth.

"Darlton, focus or we'll all die as well!" Nonette focused, the Lancelot's blade shrieking against the Seigfried's spinning spikes.

"DIE!" Jeremiah howled, driving the Lancelot back further, the Gawain and remainder of the Glaston knights racing after them.

"Dammit!" Kallen cursed as the Ro-Beast dodged yet another blast from Aka. Barely any of Voltron's attacks were landing, and when they did, it barely seemed to make a dent. And it was likely only due to the Voltron Lions' superior armor and unique alloy that they hadn't been torn apart as scrap metal already.

Lelouch grunted as they blocked yet another assault from the monster's claws. He couldn't understand why it was so hard to defeat this  Ro-Beast. This wasn't like with Myzak, where it was their first time fighting one of these creations, so how come none of their attacks were working?!

'We don't have time for this…' Lelouch thought. They had to take out that flagship. The sooner they did, the more time they could buy before possible Galran reinforcements arrived. But if Voltron couldn't get there, he could only think of one other squad that could do it.

"Tohdoh! Tohdoh, do you read me?" Lelouch exclaimed, hoping he didn't sound too desperate on his end.

"I read you, Zero. What is it?" came the reply.

Mentally sighing, Lelouch continued, "My team is still preoccupied with this monster! Your group will have to go after the flagship! Destroy it, and the battle will turn in our favor once more!"

  "Understood. Squad enroute now!"

Down on the battlefield, Lelouch could barely see six large Seishins making a beeline towards the Galra's flagship, no doubt Tohdoh, Sayoko in the Guren, and the rest of the Holy Swords.

"Thank you, Tohdoh…" he muttered under his breath, "Good luck…"

"Commander! We have six confirmed enemies, making a direct course towards us."

"Blow them out of the sky," Corza ordered calmly before scoffing, "Did they really think a direct attack wouldn't go unnoticed by us?"

"Sir! These machines are different! Whoever's piloting them are maneuvering them much more expertly!"

Corza raised an intrigued eyebrow. It took skill for any enemies to get close to a flagship like this. Normally, they would be shot down before they could get within ten yards of the vessel.

"Pull an image up," she requested with narrowed eyes.

In front of her, a camera of the carnage outside blinked into focus. Her eyebrows rose more at these machines' unique designs. The captain below wasn't wrong that they were being piloted differently, not to mention they looked different, especially the sleek red one with the silver claw.

"Hmm, a challenge it seems?" she queried before grinning, "Excellent! Concentrate fire on those ships. Blast them away!"

"Yes, commander!" the captain saluted as he and the droids typed into their stations.

Several more compartments opened up on the surface of the flagship, revealing cannons and other torrents, all aimed at the incoming enemies. To their surprise, though, in a coordinated counterattack, involving several fancy, advanced looking spins and maneuvers, slicing through several cannons with their swords and the red one's class blowing up many more with its silver claw.

Corza felt an emotion she hadn't in a while. Frustration. Sure, she got annoyed with stubborn enemies at times, but frustration was an emotion she had only last experienced back in her barricade days, apprenticing under Warlord Ranvag himself. But, she had learned to squash that weakness and push forward. Now she was one of his most trusted comrades and commanders of the empire, one whom he personally recommended to lead this attack. And she would not fail him. Not now!

"Sir!" the captain addressed again, "The large black one appears to be leading the group."

Finally, some intel she could work with! "Concentrate fire on that vessel! The others will be easy pickings with their cornerstone dead!"

"Vrepit sa!" the captain exclaimed, slamming a fist into the control pad.

"Target the engines next!" Tohdoh ordered, "Get this ship to the ground!"

"Yes, sir!" the five other Knightmares all replied in near unison. Then Chiba's voice cried out a split second later.

  "Colonel, look out!"

Almost like a combined attack, three cannons they had yet to destroy all fired at Tohdoh's Seishin at once. He managed to dodge two shots, but the third managed to hit one of his Knightmare's jets.

  "Colonel Tohdoh!"

  "Sir!"

"I'm alright!" Tohdoh barked as he struggled to regain control, "Focus on the engines!"

"And you, Colonel? " Senba queried hesitantly.

Tohdoh glared at the windows that he assumed likely led to the bridge of the ship, "I'm cutting off the head."

Without another word, Tohdoh zeroed in on the windows and made a beeline for them, slamming the Knightmare's rockets as hard as possible.

With a ripping crash, the Seishin barrelled through the bridge's window. The droids and the captain at the front didn't have time to take cover as the machine slammed into them, crushing them dead against the opposite wall. Anything that remained of the bridge's controls was nothing but sparking wires and scattered infinitesimal crystals.

With a snap, Tohdoh's own cockpit hatch popped open, and miraculously, minus a small cut above his left eye, he was unhurt, his armor and suit having protected him from most of the impact.

He glanced around and surveyed the damage, eyes narrowing on the Galra captain's corpse against the far wall, purple blood splattered from the impact, golden eyes wide and staring.

It was only the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end that warned him to draw his katana, just in time to catch the edge of another blade that had been aiming for his head. He grunted from the force of the blow, and his eyes narrowed at the surviving Galra towering above him.

"Gutsy move, pest," the Galran, female from her voice, commented, teeth bared and Tohdoh honestly couldn't tell if she was grinning or sneering, "I've seen very few in the universe brave enough to charge headfirst into the Snarflax den! Even fewer to survive it!"

Tohdoh said nothing, simply shoving back against his opponent's blade enough for him to roll out of the way and create some distance between them.

He held his katana steadily at the ready.

The Galra's lips curled, eyes shining with excitement. She had heard about the Champion's feats in the rings of Nilog. She had never been able to witness a match herself, but from what she'd seen on recorded footage, though inexperienced, the boy had spirit. Had they kept him longer, he would have made a formidable warrior.

But this human in front of her. This one was already a warrior. She could tell from the way he stood, the way his eyes took everything in, all while keeping an eye on her at the same time, the steady grip of the skinny blade in his hands. There was barely any tremble in the handle.

This was a human that was ready to fight her until one or the other remained standing.

Well, she licked her lips, this would be fun.

Voltron swerved to the right as they barely avoided the Ro-Beast's claws once more. Due to how few attacks were landing, they focused on taking the fight more into Earth's atmosphere, away from the main battle. The fewer people who got in the way, the better.

"What the heck is going on?!" Milly shouted, "It's like it knows what moves we'll make before  we  do!"

"Maybe it can see the future or something?" Rai suggested.

"Maybe its main function is learning? Like that one robot from that cartoon? The one with the family of superheroes?" Rivalz queried as they ducked under another clawed frontal assault.

"This isn't a movie, Rivalz!" Kallen exclaimed.

"What, it's a suggestion!" he yelped back.

Shirley remained mostly silent through, a feeling of dread climbing up her gut and to her throat. She struggled not to vomit from the sheer stress of the situation alone. Every instinct in her being told her that she  knew  who this Ro-Beast was, or at least who it was based on.

"Mao…" Shirley whispered abruptly.

"What-Shirley, what did you say?!" Suzaku exclaimed, horror in his voice.

"I…  Guys, I think that's Mao!" Shirley finally blurts out, fearful tears in her eyes.

"What?!" Rai exclaimed, voicing everyone's thoughts, and Voltron faltered, their left side being side-swiped by the claws.

"Hold on, that can't be possible! Mao's dead… right?" Milly asked though she sounded unsure as well.

Narrowing her eyes, Kallen's eye flashed with Geass, and she glared at the Ro-Beast still trying to slice Voltron to ribbons.

She nearly choked from shocked terror at the dreadfully familiar energy she picked up from in the Ro-Beast.

"I don't believe it... she's right! That  IS  Mao!" Kallen confirmed, barely keeping the tremor out of her voice.

This time, the shock of the team distracted them enough for Mao's Ro-Beast to charge and grab them by the shoulders, flipping them over and throwing them hard through the sky, flipping around multiple times as they went.

Shirley and Rivalz eventually managed to regain control of the leg rockets, stopping their loopty loops, only for Rai to have to block another swipe as Mao had followed close behind.

"Okay, how many times do we have to kill this bastard?!" Kallen screamed, slamming Aka's controls, trying to shoot Mao out. Once again, though, he blocked the attack.

"I don't get it!" Rivalz shouted, "How is this even possible?! Shirley got him! We saw her shoot him!"

Had it been under normal circumstances, Rivalz would have received a hard head bonk from Milly for his insensitivity, but it was only because everyone was thinking the exact same thing that silenced any reprimand.

"Haggar must have done something! Remember, she turned Myzak into that first Ro-Beast we fought!" Rai said, "The other two must have been similar. She's somehow creating monsters from living things!"

"There's something else too," Suzaku said, "Remember when Mao broke into the Castleship that one time? His Geass was different, and he kept saying that someone had given him a gift or something, but he wouldn't tell us who. My guess is that Haggar's the one that gave Mao that Black Geass we saw, enhanced it and twisted it somehow. I mean, we all suspected that she gave Zarkon his, right?"

"And if she could enhance his Geass before, she's likely done so again with this monster as well," Lelouch deduced with narrowed eyes.

"So, what does that mean then?" Milly asked as Voltron spun out of the way in the nick of time to avoid a collision, but it didn't stop one of Mao's claws from scraping against Voltron's armored chest.

"Best guess? Mao's original Geass allowed him to read the minds and even subconsciousness of people if he concentrated on a particular target," Lelouch explained, "If Haggar managed to improve upon that, then it's likely he's not just reading minds now. Instead, since Voltron is all of our subconscious thoughts as one, he can likely read not only our minds but that subconscious as well. It's how he's been able to avoid most of our attacks up until now! He can analyze, predict and counter every move we throw at him!"

"Okay, but he can only read our minds if we're in close enough range, right?" Rivalz reminded, "So if we move out of it and shoot him from far away, we should get him, right?"

"Even if that's the case, Rivalz, you think Mao's going to even give us the chance to try that anyway?!" Kallen snapped in frustration.

"Still, he's right. The range is likely larger and stronger, but it may be our only chance!" Suzaku argued.

The question was, how?

Allura felt her blood run cold as she and Coran listened in terrified silence to the reveal of this latest Ro-Beast's identity. When she heard Mao's name, a haunting feeling of terror ran through the princess's body. Mao was likely the only other person in the universe that genuinely scared her, so to hear that he was alive, and as that monster, it made her, she was ashamed to admit, selfishly glad that she wasn't one of the ones fighting him in Voltron.

The shrill sound of alarms blaring on the bridge shook Allura from her stupor. She heard Coran gasp in confusion as the tone of the alarms indicated that there was an intruder in the castle. But that shouldn't be possible. All of the castle's shields were still up, despite suffering severe damage from the surrounding Galra forces. So how on Earth had someone…?

"Princess! Here!" Coran exclaimed, pulling up a screen, "He's heading for the cryo-bay!"

Allura narrowed her eyes at the unfamiliar figure. It didn't look like a Galra or one of Haggar's druid servants, so who was that?

But then hear thoughts screeched to a halt when she finally processed what Coran said.

The intruder was heading for the cryo-bay. Where Nunnally was!

"Coran, take charge of the bridge!" she ordered as she spun around and raced from the room, "I'll handle this myself!"

Euphemia stared blankly down at the small bowl of broth that had been placed in her lap. She felt completely, utterly lost, her mind still racing through the events that happened just over twenty-four Earth hours prior. The terror of hearing her Father's announcement, then feeling absolute agony in her chest before everything just snapped to black. She vaguely remembered Suzaku's cry of anguish and her sister screaming her name. Then when she next became coherent, she felt cold, then the feeling of falling before warm, if slightly scratchy blankets encompassed her naked body.

Those same blankets were still draped around her shoulders, with only a thin nightgown Nunnally had given her to cover her modesty. Her dress apparently had disintegrated while she had been asleep in that strange pod, but she honestly couldn't care less about that right now.

"Euphie…?" Nunnally asked hesitantly. Almost on instinct, Euphemia's eyes glanced up, meeting the soft lavender of her younger sister's. "You know what happened down there… it wasn't your fault, okay? You know that, right?"

Logically, Euphemia knew Nunnally was right, but she couldn't help the crushing guilt that still stirred in her.

"I can hear your thoughts from here," C.C. said from the other end of the room, "But last I checked, Princess, you weren't the one that gave the order to slaughter the Japanese attending the zone. I highly doubt even they will blame you for this. But you won't find out if you're too weak even to stand."

Euphie cringed a little, still a little put off by C.C.'s blunt tone, but she could sense the concern in it as well. Turning back to the bowl, she finally took a tentative sip. She didn't know what it was, but the taste was alright.

"Well… this is a surprise to see you alive, Euphemia."

She heard Nunnally gasp and practically the blur that was C.C. as she moved to stand between them and whoever had entered the room. Whoever it was, they sounded young, but… something felt off about his tone that made the hairs on Euphemia's neck stand on end.

"What…?! How are you standing, Nunnally?!" the person (boy?) demanded furiously, "The sight I can understand a little. Charles was always too soft using his Geass on anyone related to that  woman, but your legs should have had no hope of recovery!"

"V.V., how did you get here?!" C.C. demanded, and Nunnally gasped, staring at the small boy at the door.

V.V.?  That was her uncle? The one Lelouch had told her about?

"Oh, what's this?" V.V. raised an amused eyebrow, glancing between the two princesses and C.C., a hand in his pocket, "C.C., are you actually caring about someone for once? I must say, this is a first even for you."

"I won't let you touch them, Victor!" C.C. exclaimed, reaching behind her back for her gun.

"Too slow," V.V. smirked as he pulled a tiny object from his pocket and flicked it across the room.

C.C. grunted as the small marble-like object struck her in the forehead, then gasped before collapsing to the floor, eyes wide and body twitching like she was having a fit before going completely still.

"C.C.!" Nunnally cried in horror, Euphemia gasping as well, her hands flying to her mouth. The younger princess then glared up at her uncle, "What did you do?!"

"I don't have to tell you," V.V. sneered, then pulling out a gun of his own and pointing it at the two girls. "It's not like you'll live long enough to find out anyway. True, Charles wanted you alive, Nunnally, but I think ending you would be more effective. Your brother has thrown enough wrenches into our plans already, destroying years of work that we have to practically start all over again. But if his reason for fighting at all is long gone, well that should solve the problem itself."

Before V.V. could continue his gloating, the gun was suddenly smacked from his hand from behind, and the next thing he knew, V.V. found himself slammed against a wall, an arm pressed tightly to his throat.

"Who are you? How did you get in my castle?!" Allura demanded, her battle staff clutched tightly in her hands while pinning V.V. against the wall with the other, applying far more force than necessary with her Altean strength.

"Allura!" Nunnally gasped from behind, still kneeling by C.C.'s prone form.

"Nunnally, are you alright? Euphemia, I'm pleased to see you are recovered," Allura addressed the two with a sigh of relief.

"What's this…?" V.V. choked out a laugh, "More 'friends' come to save you, Nunnally, like always?"

"You be silent!" Allura growled, pushing her arm in further and the immortal choked. "Nunnally, do you know him?"

"Well… sort of? I heard brother and C.C. talk about him. He's our uncle, V.V." Nunnally answered shakily.

"What… uncle?" Euphemia gasped, staring at the small 'boy' in horrified confusion.

Allura, on the other hand, felt her temper flare as she turned back with a growl to the man, "The same V.V. of that vile man who started this attack?"

V.V. gagged out a laugh, "You call Charles vile? I'm not the filthy alien trying to destroy all our hard work! If you just stayed up in space and out of our way, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"I'm not the one that sold his own people to a universal tyrant!" Allura spat back, "And to think, Voltron was willing to offer a truce even when you clearly didn't deserve one!"

"Oh, go back to your planet and cry your eyes out there!" V.V. barked through clenched teeth before smiling sadistically, "Oh wait, that's right. You don't have a planet anymore, do you? Zarkon blew it up with the rest of your people."

Allura's eyes went wide before becoming slits, "Don't you  dare  talk about Altea that way!"

V.V.'s hand suddenly seized Allura's wrist as he grinned madly. Much like C.C., Allura stiffened before screaming, losing her grip on V.V. and clutching her head. All around her, flames consumed Altea's surface. Galra crafts rained from the sky. Queen Melanor's head stood mounted on a pike as the royal palace was bathed in blood.

V.V. was too entranced with glee at Allura's pain that he didn't notice Nunnally lunge at him before he was already on the ground.

Allura gasped once more before her eyes rolled back to her head, and she fell back, Euphemia only able to just catch her before she could hit the ground.

Now V.V. was staring into a pair of eyes he had only seen in one other, and his blood boiled as Nunnally desperately attempted to pin him down.

"Damn you, Marianne! Damn you and your bitch of a spawn!" he screamed, rage driving his arms as they threw Nunnally off, "They don't deserve what Charles has planned for them! None of them do! They… they don't even deserve to live!"

Eyes mad with hatred, V.V. reached for the gun he dropped, aiming it Nunnally. He'd kill her first, then deal with the other three…

  *BANG*

Nunnally flinched, covering her face at the sound, but then slowly lowered them, eyes widening in horror at the bullet hole in the middle of V.V.'s head.

With a gurgle, the immortal collapsed, revealing his assailant at the door behind him, their own gun still smoking in their hands.

"Chigusa?!" Nunnally gasped in shock as Euphemia helped a shaky Allura to her feet, still clutching her head with one hand as she eyed the woman warily.

"Not quite," she responded in a clipped tone, "My name is Villetta Nu, and I'm a knight of Britannia."

At this declaration, Allura scrambled to regain her footing to defend Nunnally and Euphemia once more, as well as C.C., who still laid unconscious on the floor. But to their surprise, Villetta holstered her gun and dropped to one knee, head bowed.

"I'm on your side."

Meanwhile, the sky lit up red as Cornelia fired the Gawain's hydron cannons at the Siegfried, Nonette doing the same with the Lancelot's VARIS rifle. However, thanks to Haggar's constant experiments and modifications, Jeremiah's cyborg body could control the machine with ease while directly connected to the systems. The speed the Siegfried spun seemed to make almost a barrier, the spikes able to repel or block any Knightmare attack easily. Not to mention that he wasn't letting up on his own charge. With the demise of Edgar, the remaining Glaston Knights made avoiding the Seigfried's blades their top priority, but that also prevented them from attacking back as well.

"If I had doubts about this being alien tech before, I don't know!" David stated.

"I highly doubt even his Majesty's top scientists could have made something destructive without third-party assistance," Darlton commented as well.

"How can we bring down something like this?! It could completely wipe out the rest of our troops!" Guilford gasped.

Cornelia grit her teeth as he was right. This machine had a formidable offense, its spikes, and a nearly perfect defense. But she knew that all weapons had some weak point somewhere. The problem was whether or not they could hold it off long enough to figure it out.

The answer came when Lloyd, Cecile, and Rakshata contacted the Lancelot.

"Lady Enneagram, do you read us?"  Cecile exclaimed anxiously.

"I hear you. What is it?" Nonette said, tone demanding as she flipped over the Seigfried once more.

  "We've analyzed the structure of that machine on the castle's computers. And… I think we may know how you can defeat it."

Nonette nearly stopped midair in shock, "Well, what is it?"

"It's actually a rather simple flaw. So simple and obvious that many would overlook it at first glance,"  Lloyd explained cryptically.

"I don't have time for your riddles, Asplund!" Nonette growled, "Just tell me already!"

"What Pudding Boy is meaning to say,"  Rakshata interrupted before Lloyd could continue (this resulted in an exaggerated pout onboard the ship), "Is that the Seigfried's spikes can be stopped and held in place, that will easily disable its pesky defense… There is one small problem, though…"

"One of us, likely in a suicidal maneuver, will have to fly head-on into the machine and hold the spikes down manually," Nonette realized.

"Precisely, hence my previous statement, before  someone  interrupted me, about it being so obvious, yet one that most won't so much as consider," Lloyd added.

"Nelly, did you get all of that?" Nonette asked through her comm.

"I heard everything, Nonette," Cornelia responded, "I'll do it. This Knightmare is large enough to likely survive the impact-"

"Princess, no!" Guilford shouted almost instinctively, "I-Your people still need you! They need you to lead them!"

"And do you simply expect me to pointlessly sacrifice my own men, Guilford?!" Cornelia fired back, "Chawla and Asplund said so themselves; anyone else who tries would be suicidal!"

"...Not everyone," Nonette muttered before slamming down on the Lancelot's controls, barrelling towards the Siegfried.

"Nonette!" Cornelia screamed.

"Lady Enneagram!" Claude shouted.

The remainder of the squad could only watch in horror as the Lancelot slammed head-on into the middle of the Siegfried, its arms and legs spread eagle against the spikes, the Lancelot's shields fizzling at the strain of taking most of the damage.

Nonette grunted in pain as small electric sparks erupted from the systems, warning lights flashing wildly on the screens in front.

"What?!" Jeremiah exclaimed, also frozen in brief surprise at such a move.

"Nelly! Do it now!" Nonette screamed, using the last of the Lancelot's energy filter to twist around so the Seigfried faced the Gawain.

"Nonette…!" Cornelia gasped, horrified that her friend was about to commit this act.

"Just do it! I'll be fine!" Nonette shouted again, "But you have to do it now! You won't get another chance!"

Feeling tears in her eyes, Cornelia screamed as she slammed down on the hadron cannon's controls.

"What?! You little-"

Jeremiah never finished his sentence as the hadron cannons hit the Seigfried head on. The Seigrfried groaned and its outer shell cracked before it finally exploded, detaching from the Lancelot as it spiraled to the ground, crashing into the debris below.

Nonette exhaled in relief, a small stream of blood dripping from her nose. The Lancelot's energy filter lasted just long enough to block most of the Gawain's hadron cannon attack.

Unfortunately, with the energy depleted, the Lancelot could no longer remain airborne either and the white Knightmare soon followed the Seigfried to the ground, landing roughly by a demolished building.

"Nonette!" Cornelia screamed desperately, "Nonette, answer me, dammit!"

"...I'm okay, Nelly," she panted through the comm, "Sorry, I won't be much help anymore…"

Cornelia breathed a sigh of relief that at least her childhood friend was alive. She hadn't killed her.

"Just stay there for now, Nonette," Cornelia ordered, "We'll send someone to retrieve you soon!"

Tohdoh grunted as he was kicked back down the hall, catching himself as he backflipped to his feet, catching the edges of her double blades with his katana. So far, any Galra or sentries that they encountered were ordered away by Corza, always barking that he was her opponent, and if they held any respect for her, they would leave them be. He could see why she was so confident. She held the clear advantage in strength, so Tohdoh knew he had to be smart about where he landed his blows.

Throughout most of their duel, she had never lost the bloodthirsty, predatory grin on her face. The only time she lost it was when a lower-ranked Galra attempted to assist, trying to shoot Tohdoh down one of the halls. She had immediately beheaded him, calling him a disgrace. From that expression alone, Tohdoh saw the type of creature she was. She was one that took joy in beating down her opponents, took pleasure in hearing their screams of agony.

As a samurai, bound by the honor of his people and ancestors, nothing disgusted Tohdoh more. And if he had to die to put this monster down, so be it.

With a roar, he pushed the blades away, swinging the katana viciously at her midsection, but she expertly blocked it, making a swing of her own at his head, which he ducked under before using his left foot to kick one sword out of her hand, and it clattered down the hall.

Corza just laughed before whipping out a dagger she kept hidden in her armor. Tohdoh barely managed to jump back but still felt a sting across his cheek where the blade barely sliced his face. The Galran commander took advantage of his surprise to send a series of jabs towards Tohdoh, all of which he managed to dodge or block.

After taking one of the hits against his wrist, the armor of his suit absorbing the blow, he launched himself into the air, spinning midair before slicing downward. Corza grunted as the blow propelled her forward, but Tohdoh's eyes widened as her other sword managed to block the blow as well.

Tohdoh quickly used this moment to gain a little distance between the two, katana once more poised at the ready.

Corza slowly turned to face him again.

"Well, well, I'll admit you've got spirit, human," she smirked, "I may even spare you. You'd draw quite the crowd in the rings. Just surrender now, and I'll be sure you're taken good care of."

"Sorry, not interested," he replied in a clipped tone.

"Hmph, pity," she sighed in faux-sorrow before the grin returned, "But I wasn't exactly asking. I do enjoy my prey more when I have to draw the squealing out."

With that, their duel continued. Corza continued to push Tohdoh down the hall until they came to a cargo bay, several Galra fighters still stationary but ready to launch.

At one point, Corza managed to sweep Tohdoh's feet out from under him, pinning him down, foot firmly on his sternum.

"Concede, or die," she hissed, pressing down hard. The colonel felt his ribs cracking from the force, and he cried out in pain.

But the pain soon ceased when the ship suddenly shuddered and Corza's foot shifted off his chest. Despite the pain from what he knew were cracked and possibly broken ribs, he couldn't help the smirk that spread across his own face.

Outside the ship, the Guren shot away as the Radiant Surger's energy destroyed the last of the rear engines. The flagship was officially without any mobility and almost immediately began to lose altitude.

"The colonel's still inside!" Asahina exclaimed, "We need to help him!"

"I'm on it!" Chiba shouted, making a beeline for the open cargo bay, praying the colonel managed to make it there.

Tohdoh didn't waste the precious moment the distraction bought him. Without hesitation, he leaped back to his feet and plunged his katana into Corza's chest, the Galra still off-balanced from the attack outside, losing grip of her weapons. The commander only gasped as her eyes widened in disbelief but then shrieked in fury, her hand striking out. Tohdoh gasped in pain as Corza's sharp claws swiped across his left eye. Clutching it with one hand, Tohdoh stumbled backward, his katana still firmly in his other grip.

With barely a gurgle, Corza collapsed to her knees and sunk forward, falling forward, her face hitting the floor, dead. Only then did Tohdoh finally sag, catching himself on his katana, following to one knee in exhaustion.

"Colonel!" Chiba cried out, her Knightmare skidding to a stop in the bay, the ship still vibrating as it fell apart in its descent.

"Chiba…" Tohdoh whispered as she hauled one of his arms over her shoulder.

"Come on, this battle's not over yet!" she said, pulling him to his feet.

"Right…" he sighed but gratefully climbed into the Seishin with his subordinate. The Knightmare streaked out of the flagship only ticks before it crashed to the Earth.

No one missed the spectacle of the flagship's destruction. First, the engines went up in flames, and the fires quickly spread to the rest of the vessel. As Tohdoh's team flew away, their job done, the flagship began to nosedive before practically imploding as it hit the ground below.

Roars of victory could be heard from all units of the Black Knight's alliance. The Britannian-Galra alliance faltered as the rebels began to swarm in.

"Push them back!" Ohgi shouted from the ground, "Victory is nearly ours!"

"Yeah! Let's squash these guys!" Tamaki howled, firing a missile from his Knightmare at a group of scattered Britannian troops, "This is our planet! Not yours, you slimeballs!"

While the ground forces were experiencing the first taste of victory, Voltron's struggle was another story. The information of knowing it was Mao did little to help their situation. No matter what kind of attacks they threw at the Ro-Beast, he was able to either counter, block, or dodge every single one. Even when they attempted long-range attacks, they either weren't far enough, or the attacks were large enough that Mao could see them coming even without reading their thoughts. They had even briefly disbanded Voltron, thinking they could confuse Mao with separate thoughts instead of one, but Mao just started attacking them one by one. Suzaku, in particular, took some heavy hits when Yoru suddenly froze mid-flight again. The Paladins were barely able to rejoin once more after that disaster.

"This isn't working…" Lelouch hissed,  '...and I don't know what else to try!'  went unsaid.

"We can't just give up!" Rivalz shouted, "There's-there's got to be  something!"

Shirley suddenly gasped, Zinnia's purr breaking through the haze of the battle.

"What…?" she whispered.

"Shirley?!" Lelouch exclaimed, grunting as Voltron ducked another attack once more.

"Lelouch… we need to get away from Mao! As far away as we possibly can!"

"But haven't we been trying that already?" Kallen asked.

"Just trust me! I have a plan, or Zinnia does anyway!" the Orange Paladin insisted.

"...Alright, I'll trust you," Lelouch relented, "Rivalz, help her!"

"Um, right!" the Blue Paladin stuttered before slamming down on the rockets with Shirley.

Voltron suddenly shot off, leaving the battle at high speed, one that Mao couldn't keep up with.

"Paladins! Where are you going?!" Coran gasped, alarmed by the sudden change in direction.

"Honestly, Coran, we're not sure ourselves!" Milly admitted, "But Shirley said she had an idea to take out Mao! You're just going to have to trust us, here!"

"...Very well,"  Coran conceded,  "Good luck, Paladins, be careful!"

By the time Voltron stopped, they had made it fairly far out to sea, still high above Earth's surface.

"Okay, I think we're far enough!" Shirley said.

"It's certainly farther than any other distance we've tried," Rai reported, "According to C.C., Mao's original range was about five hundred meters. We're well over a thousand kilometers away now. We should be well out of range."

"Okay… okay," Shirley gasped before swallowing, "...I've got this…"

Though her heart was still hammering in her chest, Shirley took several deep breaths and, following Zinnia's directions, plugged her Bayard into its port. In the process of the bow appearing once more, Shirley's Geass appeared in her eye.

The others felt it just moments after Shirley did. Whatever was happening, whatever this new connection was that the Orange Lion and its Paladin were forging, they could feel it pulsing within the entire bond, with the two of them at the epicenter.

"Target… locked on," Shirley said calmly as Voltron drew the arrow back. Though it was not visible by the naked eye, Voltron's systems zeroed in on a far-off figure whose head was spinning frantically in every direction, having lost their target somewhere out in the sea.

'Before, I was just a normal girl, who was ignorant of everything that's been happening to this world…' Shirley thought as the arrow was pulled taut at its longest length, '...All the suffering... All the pain that so many people feel. And not just this world... but others as well. But I'm not going to cry anymore. I swear that I will protect all of you, even my friends. I know who I am... My name is Shirley Fenette, Paladin of the Orange Lion of Voltron! My aim is true! This time, I won't hesitate!'

Voltron set the arrow free.

Like a shooting star, the arrow soared across the ocean, too fast and too powerful that Mao didn't realize what was coming until it had struck deep into his chest. The Galran crystal helping to power the machine nearly shattered inside, and the Ro-Beast shrieked as its circuits shorted out and started to go haywire, limbs creaking and twisting into impossible angles.

"Go! Finish him off while he's down!" Shirley shouted.

"Suzaku, sword!" Lelouch ordered.

"Right!" the Purple Paladin exclaimed, his Bayard meeting the port once again.

With a unanimous battle cry, the Voltron Paladins raced back towards the Ro-Beast, sword poised to stab it head on.

Mao barely had time to look up, robotic eyes widening in shock before the sword met its target, piercing the same spot as the arrow and pushing back further, returning to the settlement.

Then, once on land again, with a twist of the blade, Voltron cut upward, severing the Ro-Beast's shoulder from the rest of the body. But that wasn't enough. Raising the sword over his head again, Voltron swung downward, slicing Mao cleanly in two.

The Ro-Beast's power flickered one final time before exploding, lighting up the evening sky and the battlefield.

"Yes!" Milly screamed.

"You're history!" Rai exclaimed with a triumphant grin.

"And this time, stay dead, asshole!" Kallen shouted.

"Shirley! That was awesome!" Rivalz cried, grinning madly from Polaris.

"That was definitely nuts, but it worked," Suzaku commented.

"Shirley… thank you…" Lelouch said, sagging in his seat from relief and fatigue.

Shirley just smiled, not really answering anyone, but the soothing purr Zinnia sent her way spoke all the volumes she needed. Yes, she did good. This was where she belonged, after all.

"...Coran, Cornelia, Ohgi, Tohdoh, battle report!" Lelouch finally ordered after a moment of silence.

One by one, each battle commander appeared on the screen. They all looked exhausted from the fight, a fight that they had very nearly one.

"The flagship and the fleet's commander are neutralized, Zero,"  Tohdoh reported first, Chiba next to him,  "The remaining Galra troops are scrambling to regroup. We can likely wipe out or capture the remaining ones with ease."

"That second monster that came out of that vessel is also destroyed,"  Cornelia stated,  "Nonette and the Lancelot are down, but she's alive."

"Most of Britannia's ground forces are retreating too. Without air cover from their Galra buddies, they're losing ground fast,"  Ohgi reported with a confident smile.

"Yes, according to the castle's scans, most of the remaining Galra fighters are retreating!"  Coran exclaimed,  "It seems… it seems we've won Paladins!"

The very second Coran finished speaking, Voltron suddenly shuddered, freezing in midair. A sinister purple aura washed over the juggernaut, and a malevolent presence suddenly flooded the bond, nearly choking the Paladins with fear and panic.

Lelouch especially felt the crushing weight, gasping as he hunched over like something heavy had suddenly been thrust upon his back.

"Paladins!" they heard Coran gasp.

"Lelouch!"  Cornelia cried,  "Lelouch, what's wrong?!"

"What's going on with you guys?!" Ohgi exclaimed, eyes wide.

Several more voices joined the others, Nonette, Tohdoh, Guilford, and many others calling out, confused at what was happening to Voltron and afraid for the Paladins' sake.

"What…?" Rivalz gasped out.

"Something's… tearing us apart!" Rai realized.

"It's like what happened at…!" Shirley gasped, eyes widening.

"At the Galra base…" Kallen finished with a whisper, her mind drawing the same conclusion, and terror coursed down her spine.

"Then that means…" Suzaku bit out, eyes trailing to the sky, "Lelouch!"

Lelouch's eyes also were drawn to the sky, his blood running cold and body petrified as the familiarity of this presence finally became clear. Zen's own cries of terror only confirmed it further as a large, colossus shape practically materialized above the battlefield.

"Zarkon…!"

As the Galra's HQ exited its jump to hover above the surface of the planet, Zarkon reached out towards the ancient bond that he knew was there and would always be there no matter how his enemies tried to separate them. The druids' magic coursed through his being as his black Geass drilled black holes into his eyes.

The Black Lion would not get away this time.

"...What?!" Ohgi whispered from the ground as the massive alien ship, over a hundred times  bigger than the flagship they had originally destroyed, slowly descended through the clouds. Everything and everyone on the battlefield froze, Black Knights and Britannian defectors alike.

"...This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this is  not happening…" Tamaki chanted, nearly hysterical as he felt tears form in his eyes from the terror in his chest.

Then, much to their further horror, with screams of agony, the Voltron burst apart, the Lions all blasting away from one another, the Black Lion falling limp and landing with a heavy crash to the ground.

"LELOUCH!" both Kallen and Cornelia shouted in unison.

No response came as Lelouch lay unconscious in Zen's cockpit, the sheer force of Zarkon's twisted Geass too much for him to bear.

Then, like an angry cloud of hornets, hundreds of thousands of Galra fighters swarmed out of the Galra ship, descending on the weakened Voltron forces below.

"Damn!" Kallen screamed, regaining control of Aka and righting herself in the air again. "All Black Knights! Retreat! Get back to the castle  now!"

  "What?! But Kallen-"

"Now, Ohgi!" Kallen barked desperately, "Zarkon is  here! We can't fight him, he'll wipe us out!"

"Kallen, what about Lelouch?!" Rivalz exclaimed in utter panic.

The red streak of the Guren passing by, followed by the Gawain's black form, answered that question.

"He'll be fine. His sis and Sayoko have got him!" Kallen said, "Quick, we need to lay down covering fire!"

"Sh-she's right! Come on!" Shirley shouted, already turning Zinnia towards a group of defectors struggling to get through a Galran brigade.

Zarkon's face remained impassive as he stepped off his fortress's platform, descending towards the Earth, determined to end this once and for all.

The Black Lion would be his once again.

Landing on the planet's surface, it wasn't hard to find the Black Lion. It had landed in a clear area of the battlefield, lying on its side, eyes dark and unresponsive. It was very likely that her new 'Paladin' was still inside. He highly doubted the boy had fled, even if it would have spared him.

He had barely taken a step, though, when a surge of red energy ran across his path.

Narrowing his eyes, he looked up only to see the large black bi-pedal machine, along with the red one with the silver arm and several other smaller gray ones surrounding him.

"Not one step further!" a feminine voice ordered from the large black one, two large cannons aimed at him from its back. Similar weapons are also leveled at him from the others.

Zarkon nearly scoffed. Nothing more than another pesky obstacle.

"Stand aside."

The red machine's arm tensed back, "Never…" another woman's voice practically spat.

The two parties stood still for several moments.

Zarkon then drew his Bayard, a large violet blade materialized.

"Then die."

In the blink of an eye, Zarkon suddenly flickered from being in front of them to standing crouched behind Darlton's Seishin.

"Wha-" the knight couldn't even finish the word before the Knightmare split in two and exploded.

"Sir Darlton!" Guilford shouted before Zarkon turned around almost casually, Bayard poised to strike once again.

Unlike before, with only a single flagship and the original invading fleet to fight, the massive flood of reinforcements that rained down on the city began picking off the Black Knight forces little by little. Even with the remaining Paladins providing cover, many valiant men and women fell, shot down by the relentless Galra surge.

With Milly on her trail, Kallen headed immediately to Ohgi's location, knowing most of his troops consisted of ground fighters. Milly quickly shot a series of flash bombs at the Galra fighters above them, giving the girls barely enough time for Ohgi and his surviving squads to load onto the two Lions, leaving any other weapons behind.

Rivalz and Shirley found themselves in similar situations, the sky lighting up with explosions of fire as the two pushed the fighters away from their allies in the sky and on the ground.

Rai made a beeline for Nonette's downed Lancelot, the knight only having the strength to crawl from the wreckage and lay next to it, barely remaining conscious. Dried blood still stained her nose, and her left arm was bent at an awkward angle, but she was alive.

Suzaku felt his blood run cold as he saw a massive squadron heading straight for Tohdoh's team, and he propelled Yoru quickly to intercept.

"Out of the way!" he roared, blasting into the swarm, destroying twenty of them alone with a single blast. Yoru then leaped back, her jaw opening wide, her blackhole suction pulling against several more.

"Sensei! Go!" he shouted, straining from the effort of the attack.

Despite most of the fighters getting caught in the suction, several more still fought their way around or out of it, making a head charge towards the group.

"There's still too many!" Asahina gasped, his Seishin getting battered by a volley of lasers as he sliced through two with his sword.

"Stay focused!" Tohdoh ordered with Chiba firing her gun at several fighters.

Suzaku growled, quickly summoning the Lion's jawblade, and while the fighters were disoriented, sliced through several more.

Unfortunately, despite these efforts, more simply seemed to keep coming. Like a hydra when its head was severed, more simply replaced the ship that was downed.

And one soldier knew it was not time for his commanding officer to die just yet.

"Colonel…" Urabe said solemnly as he calmly typed a code into the Seishin's keypad, "It's been an honor to fight beside you. And Suzaku… be a good Paladin."

"What?" Suzaku's eyes widened, a vague image of a knightmare in this very position meeting its end, along with the pilot inside, "Urabe,  no!"

The Seishin charged forward, completely blowing a path through the fighters, before exploding in an inferno in the center of the swarm.

Suzaku looked on in horror, the reality of what he saw sinking in, the guilt of not being able to save someone again resurfacing.

"Suzaku!" Senba shouted, shaking him back to reality, "We got to go!"

"Urabe's sacrifice will be mourned, Suzaku," Tohdoh said, though only Chiba saw how stiff the Colonel's face became, "but it will mean nothing if we all die…"

"...Right," the Purple Paladin sighed before following after the three remaining Seishins, covering the rest of their retreat to the white castle in the sky.

David's scream of agony as his Knightmare was sliced apart filled the castle's launch bay, Rakshata, Lloyd, and Cecile watching in shocked horror as Zarkon picked off the Knightmares surrounding the Black Lion one after the other.

"He's not even in a Knightmare…" Cecile trembled, watching the footage through the Gawain's already battered systems, "And he's tearing them apart."

"At this point, it looks as though he's only toying with them," Rakshata pursed her lips, but her eyes were shaking, and she clutched her pipe tight enough her hands were turning white.

"What… What kind of monster are we even dealing with?!" Lloyd exclaimed, hands gripping his head, panicking for the first time in… he wasn't sure the last time he felt like this, and even with their own alien tech, there was likely little to nothing they could do to help in some way.

Slowly, Lelouch came back into focus as his eyes blinked open. Confused and body aching, he sat up looking around… only to stop cold at the scene he saw through his Lion's screen window.

Zarkon's Bayard, in its whip form, had grabbed a Seishin by its arm and swung it through the air before slamming it hard into a pile of debris several feet away, the Knightmare erupting into flames moments later.

"No…" he gasped, panic seizing his heart and hands shaking, "What... What are you...? Get away... You can't stop him... Just run…"

He only watched helplessly, though, as Zarkon drove his Bayard into the final Seishin's abdomen, the machine's form electrifying before the back end detached and flew away, just as this Knightmare also exploded. Zarkon then turned his attention to the larger Knightmares. The Guren's silver arm was gone, the Galra having ripped it off earlier in battle, but Zarkon shifted the Bayard to a cannon and fired at the red Knightmare, blasting it backward. Then with barely a shift in footing, changed it back into a spear and stabbed backward, catching the Gawain in the middle before swiping out, effectively cutting the Knightmare in two.

With the machines no longer threats, the Galran emperor turned his attention back to the Lion, approaching slowly like he was taking a stroll in a park.

Before Lelouch could move to try and rouse Zen again, another battle cry interrupted him. He gasped in horror as Sayoko herself charged Zarkon, leaping in front of him, kunai lashing.

Zarkon stepped back slightly but otherwise seemed unfazed. Bayard a sword again, he swung back, locking weapons with the kunoichi, but his strength easily one out, disarming her and kicking her in the air. Then the Bayard became a whip, wrapping around Sayoko's form before the ninja slammed with a shattering crash against the Earth.

"SAYOKO!" Lelouch screamed, tears in his eyes as his mother figure gasped against the ground, groaning as her hand flew to her stomach, blood quickly pooling from a slice across it.

Zarkon attempted to walk towards Zen again when a bullet suddenly bounced off the back of his armor. It didn't hurt him, but it annoyed him enough to turn to the culprit.

"Get the hell away from my brother!" Cornelia roared, her sword-rifle raised, and aimed to fire again.

Zarkon turned toward her, saying nothing as he just glared, almost daring her to challenge him.

Cornelia refused to back down and emptied the rest of her bullets against Zarkon's armor. Upon realizing she was out, she charged at him, sword held up to swing down.

She didn't see Bayard swing until her right armor was sent flying away.

Cornelia collapsed to the ground, shrieking in agony and clutching her stump as blood hemorrhaged from the severed appendage.

"NO!" Lelouch shouted, horror racing through his heart.

Cornelia grunted, shoulder still burning as Zarkon's foot smashed into her cheek.

"Pathetic…" he murmured, digging his heel against the princess's head.

Cornelia could do nothing but stare up at the monster… no, the demon that was bearing down on her, and there was nothing she could do about it. The last time she had felt so helpless was… Was when Empress Marianne had perished, and Lelouch and Nunnally were banished by their father's cruel decree.

'He tore apart our entire unit... with just a single weapon... even ripped apart Voltron... all on his own...! This... this... demon... he's not just powerful... he  IS  power...!' Cornelia thought as tears trickled down her face as a crushing sense of shame settled in her chest, 'Lelouch... is this really who you've been fighting? And I haven't done a damn thing to help you... You and your friends... have had to fight this monster all on your own... I'm so sorry…'

Lelouch, meanwhile, could only watch on, terrified and enraged all at once as he watched Zarkon torment his sister. Why? Why was he just watching? Was that all the good he could do? Why did everything seem to fall apart in his hands even when he came so close to setting things right? His body shook, unable to so much as stand, petrified of this villain and the terror he brought in his wake.

  No…

Lelouch gasped as a spark of warmth ignited in his chest, spreading outward, enveloping him like a blanket.

You are not helpless…  We  are not helpless. It is true we are no match when separate, but we are together. Let us stand, my Paladin, as one...

"What insect are you, to deny what is rightfully mine?" Zarkon intoned, pressing Cornelia's head further into the dirt, "Your nation of Britannia speaks of evolution, yet you can't even begin to understand such a concept. I have transcended the limits of space and even time, and I will do so as I shall bend this universe to my will. A bug like you can't stop me."

Zarkon however blinked in surprise as Cornelia's remaining hand grabbed hold of his ankle and tried, though in vain, to shove him off of her. Her eyes, though still red with tears, glared fiery daggers at Zarkon.

"Go... to hell... you damn monster...!" Cornelia growled, "That's my brother in there... For his sake... I'll keep fighting... I'll break myself if I have to...! Even if there's nothing left of me... I won't let you one inch further...! I'll destroy myself before I let you lay so much as a finger on him!"

Zarkon narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to reply, only to hear something approaching rapidly. Turning around, he saw Lelouch, a purple knife pointed forward, practically flying toward Zarkon.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Lelouch roared, his Geass shining in not one but both of his eyes. The blade in his hand suddenly fizzled, growing in length as red energy traveled down the hilt, extending it into a long, curved sword.

Zarkon's surprised stupor cost him, as the next thing he registered was a sharp jab of pain piercing his side. The conqueror roared in agony as the blade was wrenched out, and the boy ducked under him to grab hold of his sister, gathering her in his arms.

"I'm sorry…" Lelouch whispered, pulling Cornelia's remaining arm over his shoulder. Looking up, he barely spotted an injured but alive Guilford picking Sayoko up in his own arms and making brief eye-contact, headed straight for Zen's form, still lying in the dirt, but eyes bright and clearly conscious.

Zarkon snarled as he watched his enemy scurry back into the Black Lion. Once all four were safely inside, the Black Lion roared in defiance at him before leaping into the sky.

The former Paladin raised his Bayard to shoot the Lion down again, only to be pelted from all sides by the remaining Lions, none of them giving him room to make a clear shot at the Black Lion.

"Keep him pinned down!" Kallen ordered, "Don't give a chance to fight back!"

"Paladins!"  Coran exclaimed, face appearing on the screen,  "All the survivors are on board! Get out of there now!"

Without another word, the Lions all turned and zoomed back into the sky, retreating to the castle as it disappeared into the clouds once more.

Zarkon said nothing as he glared at the spot that the Lions vanished into. Once again, they had escaped, but unlike last time, his forces gained much more than what they lost this time.

"Sire…" Haggar murmured, approaching her recovering emperor from behind, as her ship landed, "I sense they are still close. You can easily track them, and our troops can wipe them out now."

"There's no need for that," Zarkon addressed.

"Sire?" Haggar queried in surprise.

"Voltron will return soon," Zarkon clarified, "We have their planet hostage now. We have nothing but time until they come for it again. And one way or another, Voltron will fall to us then…"

From aboard the craft, Charles glared daggers into the backs of the two aliens on the ground. These two thought they were foolish enough to think that? While it was true their presence would make things… difficult, their actions would be of little consequence once their plan was complete.

'Soon, Marianne…' Charles thought, 'Soon, our dream will come to fruition, and this madness will end. No force in the universe will be strong enough to stop it.'

[theraikouhotel]

Massive Headcanon Post

ALRIGHT I HAVE IDEAS!!! I think.... Headcanons below the damn cut because they’ll be separated into different series! God I hope this becomes a thing I do...

Please enjoy!! 

Fate

Raikou’s favourite time of day is dawn. She likes to see the sun coming up and the hope of a new day washes over her, making her look forward to another day of her being not insane as she believes she is. 

Shikibu secretly collects figures of the other Casters and sometimes makes them move with her magic, re-enacting something she sees in her head. She then writes out in her little diary, as if it was the most interesting thing ever when really...she made them kiss with her own figure she had gotten made.

Arturia also does baking on the side whenever she’s alone and she’s made sure that the cafeteria is empty. She’s been caught several times but they let her do her thing as she looked determined to get the recipes down. This is usually to thank everyone who has helped her, especially her master.

Tiamat likes to decorate mindlessly when she’s stressed. She’ll do it usually with Christmas decorations she has in her room, because she likes how fun they look. Sometimes it might be with Halloween ones. The Primordial Mother just likes decorating so much.

Europa sometimes might summon Talos and pet him to calm herself down. Having her bull close to her soothes her, especially when she sees things aren’t going as well. If she doesn’t have her bull, she’ll curl up and try to breathe but it doesn’t work sometimes.

Irisviel isn’t too fond of people badmouthing her children. Especially those she considers her own. She’ll kick the crap out of you so hard that you won’t even get up for the next week.

Black Clover

Asta hates it when people ask about his parents or drill into him that he should have died way too long ago. He’s never had any proper blood parents so he’ll say the Father at the church he was raised at is his dad. But when people say that doesn’t count, he won’t like it. He’ll also say that the belief in his comrades helped him live.

Noelle isn’t actually too close to the Mama Squad. She feels awkward around them. Or any sort of mother figure as she has no idea what to say. She’s also afraid of breaking down in front of them as it’s not becoming of a royal as she has drilled into her head. 

Vanessa only drinks to make sure the lonely thoughts don’t invade her mind. She hates feeling lonely and drinking helps alleviate it. But when she doesn’t, her mind starts playing on the fact that she’ll be alone forever and she just heads to bed, crying.

Bleach

Ichigo has nightmares about Yhwach from time to time. He always thinks about how he could have ended it a lot more quicker so that everyone could have lived. He always imagines several outcomes. But whenever he opens his eyes, he remembers those who have died in the War and it hurts him so much.

Orihime wishes she was as strong as Yoruichi. She has one of the strongest abilities yet she hates how indecisive she can be. She has kept to herself that her kind heart has hindered her so much, even with the amount of people telling her it’s her best trait and one that should be kept as there was enough hate in the world.

Yoruichi often feels like a failure. She has strongly felt this ever since Aizen and it continues to eat away at her even after the Thousand Year Blood War. 

Highschool DxD

Issei often feels like the girls that love him aren’t real. That he’s not really deserving of their love. He has these thoughts that plague his mind every other day that tell him that Rias is lying or that Raynare is actually still alive and is playing tricks on him.

Rias does her best to be there for everyone. But hates how her own duties stops her from doing that which instead makes her rely on Issei to see how everyone is. It’s not just as the alpha female in the harem, it’s as a friend to everyone.

Sona secretly enjoys dressing up with her sister, Serafall, as it reminds her that one day she may not be able to spend much time with her. So she never tells her to go away whenever Serafall is with her, rather she’ll just bear it and blush in embarrassment.

Date A Live

Kotori still enjoys the kids meals at the nearest restaurants as she loves how cute they are always made. She’ll always add it in with another order so she gets to indulge in how cute it is before devouring it.

Kurumi isn’t a big fan crowds. Whilst it does help her with her concealment, she feels her heart race whilst being within them. She has to take a moment in the shadows to get her heart to a more normal rate before going back in there again.

Love Live!

Umi is always the strict one. However, she almost always feels bad when she has to berate someone because in her own home, she has been treated a lot more harshly as the next head of the Sonoda household. But she keeps this fact closely guarded.

Kotori is always thinking about something. Usually about how to get Honoka to be hers only but she never acts upon it. She’d hate that she’d feel horrible if she did make Honoka only hers and “took out” the other competition that is her idol group. So instead, she gets out of this habit through fashion designing.

Mari isn’t actually a big fan of showing her wealth off to other people, only her friends. Sometimes she accidentally does it and then they try and cosy up to her. She hates that. She can see right through them and immediately denies them.

Chika doesn’t actually have many passions except idols. If it weren’t for idols, she would most likely stare blankly into the ceiling of her home as she would take over the Ryokan Inn that her mother owns. She’d just wonder what she was doing, whether or not if existing was right or not.

Karin has been offered various modelling gigs, which is of no surprise. However, there have been times when she has considered going 18+ modelling but refused in the end. She was curious yes but will never do it.  Of course, she’s just about getting by.

Emma has always been Karin’s best friend. They always look out for each other. However, Emma can see whether or not something is bothering Karin but doesn’t ever bring it up. Instead, she just wants to see her happy.

Bang Dream!

Sayo is a girl of many secrets. She only ever tells them to her twin sister, Hina as of late. Before, she’d never tell anyone about herself and if she did, it was only the bare minimum. She’s still closed off as she refuses to get hurt by anyone.

Tomoe is always overworking herself. She has lots of volunteering and things she does, which always leaves her knackered (tired as fuck) at the end of the day and all she wants to do is sleep. Even on days when she looks like she’s okay, she isn’t. She wants to rest.

Aya is clumsy and will get lost, just not as often as Kanon, her friend. However, she feels inadequate as an idol. She has trained for this but it always bothers her, as it goes into late night practices and early dawn nap times. She has considered giving up so many times, because of all the hate she has seen, even with her idol group, she’s usually the one with the most hate as she is at the centre most of the time.

Arisa is just gay as fuck. But she isn’t sure if it’s right to feel that way or not about certain people (KASUMI TOYAMA)

My Hero Academia

Kyouka has an innate talent of analysing quirks as well, she has never realised it. She has an analytical brain that can probably compete with Midoriya’s if she applied what she knew about music into hero work. 

Momo hasn’t been the biggest fan of being raised rich. She always wondered what it’d be like to live a normal life, without all the privilege and weight of a legacy she has  on top of her.

Danganronpa

Tenko has always been confused about what to feel about the ‘degenerate males’ she has met. Especially the likes of Shuichi and Makoto. She has wondered if her view of them being horrible is skewed as she seems Shuichi as one of her closest friends. But she won’t ever admit that, ever. 

Kaede really wants to know if she can stop with the piano puns. She likes to make them too much.

Makoto hasn’t exactly had the easiest time mentally. The death of his friends always haunts him even in his sleep. The screams, lights, flames, everything. He remembers all the details vividly and when he tries to reach out for them, their dead bodies are there on the floor.

Komaru has a hard time of knowing if she fits in or not as she had been taken from school and is now older than what she believes she is. She sits there wondering if it’s right to be this way now or not.

Other Muses

Jotaro is very cautious of everyone he meets. He doesn’t want a repeat of what happened in Egypt if he gets too close to anyone he likes. Even if DIO is gone, he’s never gotten rid of the feeling that someone will die in his presence or in his name.

Levi has a soft spot for his brats. He basically sees them as his children as this point and he may have been called dad once or twice by a few them. He enjoyed that but only gave them a glare.

Weiss is a soft gay for Ruby. But apart from that, she’s fine with both guys and girls. 

Mami always has the feeling of her wish being selfish at the back of her mind. It’s there nagging away at her as if it would come back to bite her in the ass so she’s always out there doing her best for her juniors and always on the look our for Kyoko Sakura.

Natsu hates how his former guild had treated him. He isn’t a dumbass who can’t do anything right, rather he’s someone who was the most attuned to his emotions as his flames prove. If he meets anyone from there, he won’t hesitate to take them out with one punch.

Lelouch actually had a crush on Cornelia for a brief moment before knowing of his relation to her. He decided to drop it and add her to the list of “Siblings I absolutely adore” but from time to time he does wonder if they weren’t related, would they take over the world together?

Haru has pictures of her friends in a small box. She also has one thing they owned within it too. She’s unaware of how strange this is.

[thisisgracetrying]

A little about me!

So uh... hi! 

I've been thinking about how much I want to meet @taylorswift and Swifites all around dn the world but I never really post anything here about me, so why would she or anyone be like "oh yes, i want to meet her too" I mean for all we know I could be a crazy person right? (I've watched way too many crime-drama shows, I'm so sorry, DUN DUN). Well here I go. 

My name is Grace, I was born and raised in Venezuela. I'm 27 years old. I graduated from Law school when I was 24 and that same year I moved out of my home country, I've lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina and I'm currently living in Medellín, Colombia. Buenos Aires is so pretty I loved it there, I learned so much about myself, but I think I like Medellín better because it reminds me a lot of Venezuela, plus the weather is lovely.

I'm married (got married this year, I've posted a few pictures about it lol) my wedding song was Lover, other songs that define my relationship would be, stay, stay, stay, starlight, daylight, mary's song (one of my favorites lol), crazier, you are in love, this love, fearless, call it what you want... so basically any love song Taylor has ever written lol. I need to mention this because before I started dating my husband I thought I would NEVER relate to these songs, so if you're thinking love is not for you and heart break is all there is, TRUST ME, it is not. 

I became a Swiftie back in 2008, I was about to turn 16. I heard Love Story somewhere and I got obsessed, then I found out she was dating Joe Jonas, and that she was about to release her 2nd album, so I was like WAIT THERE'S ONE ALBUM ALREADY? HOW COME I HAVENT LISTENED IT YET? and that was it, I was hooked, playing her first album on repeat everyday... however that did not prepare me for what was coming up next. 

As soon as I listened to Fearless, I just knew I would stan Taylor my whole life. I was going thro some stuffs back then, I was heart broken for the first time, a good friend of my had died and I felt like i just hated everything, but deep down I was just very very sad. When I look back at who I was back then it makes me wanna cry because I felt so alone... and then this album came out. She shook my world, took my hand and walked me thro all of it. And for that @taylorswift I'm eternally grateful. 

The rest is history. 

Now because I am a Latin Swifite I was not able to see her live until I was living in Buenos Aires and I was financially independent. I had a good life in Venezuela but my parents couldn't afford a trip to the US for a concert, it is really sad to love someone and their work so much and not being able to see them perform live, but I've sworn to myself that it wont happen again, as long as I'm alive (and im not broke of course lol) I will go to every tour of every era. 

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I feel like an outsider in the fandom, most of the time is because I feel old? lol but I dont have like fan accounts, I just have my personal accounts and I'm always spamming them with Taylor lol because I dont feel like I need to separe being a Swiftie from who I am because thats such an important part of my life, however I do get why people do it. I lover her with all my heart and will always support her in the ways I can, but sometimes it does feel like I dont do enough compare to others, I know comparison is poison but i cant help it. I just want to point that out in case someone else feels this way, you're not alone. 

The Reputation tour was truly something else. I cried, laughed, danced, sang all the songs like a lunatic and I was able to enjoy all that with 2 of my best friends. 

I've always dealt with body issues, I was a gymnast for the majority of my childhood and adolescent years and there was a lot of pressure to be thin and maintaining that weight, by the time I was 9 I was counting calories and by the time I was 11 I knew what an eating disorder was. So when Taylor talked about her struggle with her body my heart felt for her but i was also very proud, it takes a lot of strength to do that. Sometimes we are making excuses because we dont wanna face the truth, or we are thinking "Oh no I dont really have an issue" but every so often once someone we look up to does it, it makes us realize that it is ok to seek help. 

Right now I feel a little lost because we are in the middle of this global pandemic and I'm not as happy with my job as i was before (I work remote and have been doing the same thing for 5 years now) I thought 2020 was the year of changes and me finally going out there and finding a new job and maybe study something or learn something new. But I'm working on not being so hard on myself, stop overthinking (but damn its so difficult lol, I always picture the worst case scenario) and just be grateful for what I do have right now. I know there are a lot of people struggling right now and I'm very privileged just to have a roof over my hand, a full stomach, a healthy body and a lovely family. So if youre feeling off right now, its a global thing, we are all in this together, and I feel like this will be over sooner than our crazy minds thing (or at least I HOPE SO lol).

So last but not least a few random facts about me: (cause I dont want to make this already long ass post even longer) 

 I really enjoy dancing, writing, going to the movies, cooking and everything that is make up related. 

I wish i could paint but I think I'd suck. I should give it a try lol.

 I like perfumes that smell like flowers and candy.

i love rainy days when I have nothing to do and sunny days when I'm in a bad mood lol. 

I have a 3 year old dog, his name is Brooklyn and I love him with ALL MY HEART, hes my baby. 

When I moved to Argentina, my bff friend since i was 15 and I lived together, I treasure the moments we shared and I miss him a lot, so as soon as I knew i was moving to Colombia we decided to get a matching tattoo, we got "Cornelia St" because its out favorite song out of Lover and I hope I never lose him. 

And that is it for now! if anyone read this, THANK YOU and feel free to comment anything about yourself! I love to read and learn about other people! 

Have a wonderful day. 

Hey if youre reading this! find me on twitter: graceohmymymy lets be friends!

[trying-write-fanfics]

AsheXReader the price of war

Authors not: this little part is more of a teaser. It’s gonna be multiple parts, but I might set it back further in the timeline or use flashbacks. Not totally planned yet.

It’s an angsty fanfic

Warning: there is death, depression, eating disorders, ptsd that will be in this story

Some things are changed from the canon plot a lot

this is my first fanfic in a long while, so I may be a little rusty.

——————————

It didn’t matter how hard he tried, how well he cooked, or how much he loved you. You were gonna break and collapse under this stress that the war has put on you for the last five years.

He watched every movement you made, trying to dazzle the other nobles. He stared predicting something bad was going to happen any minute. Just looking at you made him feel sick. 

The old dress you wore fit loose on your fragile figure. Finger nails brittle and weak as you stroked someone’s shoulder, coaxing them to listen. The (color) hair was left down because if you brushed too much too much would fall out. You shivered and shook with every movement. The only calories he knew you had was the wine you drink at this party. It was the only fattening thing in you consumed all day.

Trying to win the support of other nobles was difficult. She was trying to get nobles to send their brigades to fight for the kingdom, maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t. Despite wanting the kingdom’s victory, surely there had to be a better way. The money she made went to the war effort and Ashe’s siblings. He was grateful but also felt guilty for her help. Even in her state she helped him more than he could help her.

When the guests left he helped her walk to her bedroom. The mask of stability began to untie itself. She spoke of how well the turnout for the party was and she hoped to help Gilbert’s efforts against Cornelia. Taking off her earrings and necklace she avoided looking in the mirror. 

In this drunk state Ashe would get to indulge in their mutual feelings. It would be the only time she would be honest with herself. She sat on his lap and rubbed noses. The warm air would leave her nose and tickle his skin. The weight of her on him, the hand on his shoulder, how he loved to feel her. Reality would set in and so would the guilt. Fate had been trying to tear the two apart ever since their confessions.

Ashe helped the woman out of her dress and into a nightgown. He would always close his eyes. He tucked her in under the few blankets. It was painful to look at her and how he failed to be her knight. Still drunk she reached for his hand and pleaded for him to stay. He kissed her forehead and left her. Outside her door he choked on his sobs. He continued to fail everyone important around him. How long would they get to hide in peace? How long does his siblings safety last until the time is up? It was hard to find anyone opposing the empire, especially in secret.

Right after the war was announced and students were leaving Garreg Mach, Y/n asked if Ashe could accompany her to her family’s estate to see how they were holding up. Her land was near the boarder of the empire. Since where his siblings were staying far from where the fighting was, he agreed to go. There was another reason close to his heart. 

Y/n had become one of the best people he had met at his time at the academy. She was easy to talk to, and took a minute to realize she was a noble. When lord Lonato died, she was there comforting them. He thought he would never be the right person to be by her side, but luck had been in his favor. After regaining himself he accepted he had feelings for the girl. Being a vassal house noble, youngest crest holder of her siblings, it was not a big deal for her family to marry rich. Her older brothers already secured in marriage, she was free to do as she pleased, as long as she would become successful. 

How he fell for her happened slowly and then all at once. He couldn’t remember who started talking, but once they did they couldn’t stop. Even though not all their interests lined up, they both listened to each other talk for hours. He even tried to teach her how to use a bow. She was never nervous to throw a compliment his way or playfully tease him. She was a vibrant woman with an interesting mind.

The family was throwing a ball at their estate which was a surprise. They were pretending not to be scared of the empire. Fools. He borrowed some of her older brother’s clothes she loaned him. He didn’t want to stick out and feel silly. He got to feel her life for a moment. Since everyone was trying to be lax about the war, he even got to dance with his crush. She held him, giggled, and then brought him out to the balcony. They shared a tender confession, which she surprisingly confessed first. Their happiness was short lived. Few moments later her mother found her, crying hysterically. Y/n’s brothers had died and she was the next future head of the family. With this new status she couldn’t introduce Ashe as her boyfriend, but rather a  recommended knight. His stomach sank, bearing no ill-will to the girl, but hated what the war had brought.A huge tear in the relationship. He had lost so much since all the strange events came along to only have one perfect moment ruined. The death of her brothers not only meant a funeral, but her freedom to marry who she would like.

Ashe Ubert didn’t leave Y/n’s side though. He would be her knight and she would help the remaining kingdom forces. Her skills were faith, lances, with some riding experience. However she didn’t want to get too violent because the Empire was always in her backyard. That and the tragedies making her hands too heavy to raise against the Empire. She wanted to help next best way. Raising funds, dealing with death, and having to find a rich noble husband was killing the poor woman. She once asked Ashe if he wanted to go to the front lines, but there was nothing there waiting for him but defeat. Not yet.

 Ashe’s cooking skills were amazing, but Y/n couldn’t eat. In the beginning she would try hard to eat, but she would throw up almost anything. When she was sobered she would cry and when she was drunk she would be lying to herself. She lost so much weight, her hair fell out all the time. When no one was around, Ashe would hug her from behind to keep her warm. She was a vibrant girl who stood by Ashe’s side through everything. Now he could hardly force herself to take care of her body.

The hardest part he has to deal with was the dating she had to go through. Even though he truly didn’t want her with another man, he thought if she found one he might be able to move on as well as herself. He enabled all this behavior because he didn’t know what else to do. Another man would probably be able to save her from herself. Her parents would write her letters of finding the perfect man for their daughter, and the dates never lead to a second. Though some head over heels, her heart remained unchanged. Sometimes she would sob into the pillow she was a failure to her family and everyone else. Ashe would always comfort her. 

Y/n would suffer from night terrors, and she had the same couple nightmares. She was afraid of losing Ashe. The war setting her family estate on fire. During these nightmares he would loosen his morals and stay the night in her bed. He would press her into his chest and it would be the only time she would sleep through the night. The more he felt her the more guilty he felt. How much longer can she last like this? It was part of his fault for letting this go for so long.

The next morning he woke up before her. Leaving her alone in the bed, he gave her another blanket so she wouldn’t miss his warmth. He went to the kitchen and started cooking. He hadn’t really cook for two in awhile, all she would ask for was peeled vegetables or water downed soups. He hadn’t made anything with real pleasure, but soon he would have to leave her. If she had a little more food in her, he would for better about leaving her for a couple days. It was going to be the millennium festival, even if no one was celebrating. They had promised their classmates they would meet up five years later. He wasn’t sure if anyone would be able to show up, but he hadn’t lose hope. As much as he would want Y/n to go, she might not be strong enough to go back to Garreg Mach.

“You’re cooking?” Y/n asked lowly, still tired from waking up .

“Yeah, take some.” He offered as if he did not just make that for the both of them.

Y/n took a seat at the table and he handed her a plate of all the food groups. She stared at it like he had served her severed heads. Used to this reaction too got a plate and sat with her.

“The millennium festival is coming up.” He told her.

“You think the professor would be there?” She jest. “I bet Annette and Mercie would be there.”

“I’m thinking about going.” Ashe informed.

Before Y/n could have a reaction the front door was met by some desperate fists. She was quick to the door to find a messenger. Ashe followed to make sure they were not a threat.

“Are you lady (full name)?” He asked out of breath.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, not revealing her identity.

“If she’s here, tell her to flee her land. We got intel that the empire is after her for funding the kingdom’s army.”

“I’ll let her know.” She shut the door. “Oh no…”

The woman hugged herself and pressed her frail frame against the door. Her arms shook, knowing now the real danger of her deeds. Reality set in and now her neck had a target on it. It was now Ashe had to offer the last resort.

“We should go to Garreg Mach together.”

[cowboylikedean]

FIRST THOUGHTS

Okay everyone welcome to my Lover first thoughts!!!

Overall: I love this album. It isn’t what I expected at first, I was expecting something stripped an acoustic but it is what I hoped for. If I wasn’t going to have stripped and acoustic, I wanted something Bubblegum in the modern way Carly Rae Jepsen is and guess what? I got an album that sounds like my FAVORITE parts of EMOTION from nearly top to bottom. This album is a lot so it’s gonna take a while fo me to digest, but I adore it. It’s already up there with Speak Now, Red, and reputation in my top tier. 

Below is my track by track

I Forgot That You Existed: I’ve seen people skip over this one but honestly? I needed it. I don’t know who she’s talking about, she lost a lot of friends summer 2016. But I am singing about that jackass who up and left my life and took me for several hundred dollars and then laughed as his asshole boyfriend posted a long ass blog post lying about me, misgendering me for sport, and making fun of me all while laughing about how he’s “not nice” (and being proud of that) when even HIS FOLLOWERS called him out for being cruel. I had that moment where I forgot that he existed and it was so freeing. This is gonna be one of my most listened to.

Cruel Summer: This song. Holy wow. Like talk about bridge city I guess lmao! Nah but it’s a vibe. and the chorus is so exciting and like I mentioned Carly Rae Jepsen and like THE CHORUS CAN’T  YOU HEAR HER???? I love this theme all over this album about falling into a relationship with someone in the midst of something hard or pushing through something difficult with someone. Cruel Summer is the first instance of this in this album and I’m going to need more time with the lyrics… There’s little things that I’m gonna need more time with… But I adore this vibe where she’s like telling the other side of Getaway Car. In Getaway Car we learned that you can’t run away from your problems, it doesn’t end well. In Cruel Summer we find her release in doing so. We find how that release of running away was what she needed to find herself and stability again. We find that without her past, she could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.

Lover: Instant fave the second I heard it. Best love song she’s ever written and I 100% understand why she named the album Lover. This track is beautiful and the slower tempo doesn’t in any way detract from the sheer joy and excitement expressed in the song. It’s a public declaration of a private love in the most excited way and I get it. Also I did get some acoustic singer songwriter on this album!!

The Man: DID I HEAR TAYLOR SAY BITCH TWICE?!?!??!? also fuck she’s right. and I GUESSED HOW THE LYRICS WE HAD WOULD SOUND AND I WAS RIGHT i felt like a bomb when that happened. hahah tbh though, not my fave. Don’t get me wrong, far from the worst but just kind middle of the road to me. Also I think it’s the breakdown after the chorus that pushes it towards the middle to me. But again… Bridge city. The bridge is by far the best part of this song. 

The Archer: I still think this is my favorite song on the album. It has already helped me so much and I think Taylor and I feel depression, anxiety, and other stuff very similarly. Basically everything she’s released about it has highly resonated with me. I have so much to say about this song and its impact on me but I don’t think if I said all of that it would be much relevant to this post. Basically, I never grew up it’s getting so old. This song helps me grow up.

I Think He Knows: This song is so fucking fun and cute I jive and the chorus again I feel the Carly Rae vibes… I also love “bless my soul” like that’s such a great lyric. This is another one I feel is middle of the road for this album though. Like as a pop song, it’s top rate. As this album, it’s middle of the road. I’m happy to hear the vocoder again though! 

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: So I love this song. Everyone loves this song but I love this song both as its political commentary and just a commentary on depression in general. Like as a song about the specific depression and disappointment that struck us all after the 2016 election, it’s nearly flawless. As a song about disappointment and depression in general, it’s nearly flawless. I really love both readings but in the later, I really love the line “they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl” because in this reading, I like to see that about Taylor and how she is Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince. idk I think the fact that this song can work in both contexts’ and have completely separate meanings speaks to the strength of the songwriting. I’m so impressed. She hit it out of the park with this one.

Paper Rings: OKAY SECOND FAVORITE/TIED WITH FAVORITE HAPPY LOVE SONG WOW WOWOWOWOW The Last Kiss reference, the vibe that sounds like a teen movie when the kids break out and are running wild and free, idk why but I love “The moon is high just like your friends when we first met” it’s just so…. vivid. You cannot miss the feeling of freedom. This song is about finding freedom in love. Falling in love is the most exciting and free feeling in the world, whether that is romantic love or not and this song captures that feeling when you get to that ledge and you just….. slip. And the best part is it works for everything. Like idk I’ve always been able to take the feeling a song presents and take it out of its specific context and apply it to another instance of that feeling so I can easily take this song about the freely falling in love and look around and find hundreds of applications. Every time you love something or someone to the point where you don’t need anything else than what they give you to feel whole and complete, this song is there in the background reminding you that you do in fact like shiny things, but you don’t need them. Because this thing or person is all you need. LIKE STOP IT’S SO GOOD also 100% if she sang it with a country accent, it’d be a country hit. It sounds so much like Sam Hunt I cannot even, i have died.

Cornelia Street: The ROOFFKLJDSLKFJKSLDJFKLSDJLKFJLKSDF also like I am here for the storytelling songwriting so much. This is another one I need more time with but I think it’s already a classic. Again, it’s so nice to here something other than “I love you and everything is great” I mean it is like that but it’s the fear of being forced to say goodbye and how that would feel. It’s knowing you’ve gone all in and there’s no turning back. I see this song so beautiful contrasted with All Too Well. All Too Well focuses on a heartbreak that only time could help, but it seemed like time wouldn’t. It takes you through the beginning, middle, and end of that relationship and explains why it hurts so much. Cornelia Street takes us through this relationship, especially the beginning, and explains why this would be a heartbreak time couldn’t fix. It’s so vulnerable and honest in some really beautiful and profound ways.

Death by a Thousand Cuts: Okay so first of all, I would ADORE this song if that very low bass and synths weren’t there. I don’t know why they’re there but it muddles they for me and I can’t focus on anything because it’s like everything else is covered in a thick layer of mud trying to move around. Second I have no idea who or what this song was written about but it’s jarring to hear a breakup song on this album. I love asking the traffic lights if it will be okay and them saying “I don’t know.” Like that’s honestly incredible writing. We’ve all had those times when we’re hurting or scared and we’re in the car and we’re looking for a sign it will be okay but we have nothing. Also I need more time with the second verse. There’s so much there, I haven’t had time yet to process.

London Boy: “But God, I Love the English.” Yep you got a TYPE GIRL!! this song is so fun!! it’s so bragging… I love it! She’s just like “yeah I love a London Boy what OF IT BITCH” and it just feels like a mic drop like she’s like doing that move where you slam your hands at your crotch like a dick??? like idk it’s such a bde to me. Like she’s name dropping all these London things and bragging about how she’s English now because she’s got this guy and bragging about her type and her Anglophile fetish and idk it just feels like “you got something to SAY??!??!?!” I’ve heard that vibe is very London but idk because I do not have a london boy like she does.

Soon You’ll Get Better: Either Taylor played the album in the wrong order for these fans at the secret sessions or something because this 100% is that song she couldn’t listen to. I have heard it once and I am doubtful to listen to it again. I have listed to Ronan 3 times total. Soon You’ll Get Better is up there. I can’t. I’m so lucky my Dad is in remission and has been for 10 years… If his cancer came back, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s my biggest fear. And the Dixie Chicks sound beautiful on this track, so does the plucking country instrumentals. Gorgeous. I just… can’t. I admire Taylor and family for sharing this, but I can’t.

False God: I understand why this comes after Soon You’ll Get Better. She needs that thing to fall into, to give herself over into. The hard times my hurt and might be difficult, but they don’t end a relationship. Soon You’ll Get Better is a really hard time and a sick parent can put a lot of stress on a relationship and False God feels like the perfect way to pick up the main overaching love story and give it a response to Soon You’ll Get Better. It’s hard, but they can get through it. Even if it’s a false god, they’ll be there. That said, this song is far from my favorite. I feel so disconnected from it. It just feels boring. I get sucked in the last few lines of the pre-chours where she rushes through the lyrics and then the chorus is nice, but by the time the chorus ends, I’m bored again. The production gives me almost nothing. It feels like What A Feeling… a perfectly fine song, but boring as fuck and like it’s got a vibe that I don’t really fuck with. Like it feels like a song you get high to… and I don’t get high often, and I only do it ever when I’m going to sleep. So it feels like I’m going to sleep.

You Need to Calm Down: Let me start by prefacing that I ADORE the song. It was really important for her to say and I needed something to respond to the internet’s take down cancel culture and remind me not to get in the middle of the fights. However, this song sticks out like a sore thumb to me. It doesn’t feel like it fits. Coming after False God it feels like a complete outlier and like it doesn’t relate to the rest of the album. I could see an argument that it is about basic human respect and that kind of love and therefore has its place, but is this placement in the tracklist it??? I am thankful for the break when YNTCD comes because Soon You’ll Get Better is so heavy that it caries over to False God, but YNTCD feels completely unnecessary if you skip Soon You’ll Get Better and all of that heartbreak. Again though, it’s a classic and I adore it. Just not sure if I adore it for this album.

Afterglow: It’s so nice to hear a song from Taylor in which she apologizes and makes up after a fight. I don’t know why but I was worried she wouldn’t let us into the fights her and Joe have. That we would be outside. But like Ed said in End Game “you know that good and bad end up in a song.” Having a song from Taylor after 13 years that shows her experiencing conflict with a partner, apologizing, and ends without an end to the relationship…. And in this song it’s different from how she previously portrayed conflict too. Mine, in it’s hypothetical, expresses her “partner” chasing after her in. ME! (which we’ll get to in a second) also shows that kind of conflict resolution. Afterglow shows her taking responsibility and chasing after them. It’s one of my favorites for sure. Never underestimate the value of an apology. I have a lot to say.

ME!: First of all, fuck everyone “Hey kids, spelling is fun!” is hilarious and I cannot BELIEVE she took it out I am pissed. Second, I like this song so much more in the context of the album. Coming after Afterglow, it is important the next song both take responsibility for her negative traits that lead to that conflict and also not dwell on it. Me takes the whole conflict of Afterglow and reframes it from “I fucked up please don’t leave. Love me despite my flaws?” to “I know I’m difficult, but I am also so much more and damnit, I love me so I know you do too.” While the production still feels a bit hokey, I understand it’s purpose. I will forever be bitter about spelling is fun and you all are so mean. I hope you enjoy what you’ve done monsters.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend: My least favorite song on the album. It’s just so boring to me. The steel drums are nice, but it doesn’t feel like it ever goes anywhere. The chorus is too short and simple and I just feel nothing. idk I like the story I guess… meet in school, hang out timid first step… but then it ends in marriage? Haven’t we done this with Mary’s Song? idk i think I would like it better with a bridge in between the second chorus and the third verse because it’s like they skip the whole dating step. They go meeting, timid first step, MARRIAGE!!!! and the chorus is just not enough to separate second step from third. That and the fact the production doesn’t really go anywhere… It’s just so one note and boring and without any sort of conflict. I get it’s supposed to be like a daydream, I think… but even day dreams have conflicts. idk it’s a bad story because there’s no movement. 

Daylight: I see why this album was almost named Daylight. I’m going need a lot more time with this song. I can see it being one of my favorite Taylor songs ever eventually but I need to memorize every second of it to let myself go into it. The Red reference FUCKED ME UP. And the voice message at the end. And just the release of this song. The whole thing is an exhale. A total release of tension. It’s truly astonishing. Like I said though, to really immerse myself in it, I’m going to need to memorize it. Because it’s a release of tension, to find that and feel that, I need to focus on every lyric, every production element, every note and just….. let go. I do think this is one of the most important songs she’s ever written. Both for herself and for the rest of the world. This song is a reminder to breathe. To let it go. To focus on love. To find the love in your life. To not let it get too dark. It’s beautiful and it will keep me going on my path to recovery… as I expect it will for many others too.

Favorites (in order of most to least): The Archer, Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, Lover = Paper Rings, Afterglow

Least favorites (in order most to least): I Think He Knows, False God, It’s Nice to Have a Friend

[thirstygirlclub]

Duchess - 17

Chapter 17 – Donati

Happy rarely had nightmares. Things that gave normal people nightmares weren’t the sort of things that gave him nightmares. However there was one thing that terrified him more than anything and that was his loved ones being in danger without him being capable of saving them. For this reason, almost every time he had gone to sleep since Catherine had been followed he had had a nightmare about it. The nightmare always played out differently in the end; sometimes he found nothing but a cellphone on the ground where she said she was; sometimes she was on the ground and not moving; sometimes he was watching her being hurt and was unable to do anything about it, like he didn’t exist. Every time he woke up his heart would be racing, his breathing would be heavy and Scrap would be lying across his legs almost as if he knew about the nightmare.

“Are you alright, Mijo?” Mama asked him as she watched him pouring himself some fresh coffee, “You look sick.”

“Nah,” Happy said, shaking his head and fighting back a yawn, “I’m good.”

Happy got his threatening, hard glare from his mother; a glare that was now being directed at him and making him shrink back slightly against the kitchen counter. No one scared him quite like his mother, not even Gemma. Mama had been the one to try and keep him in line when he was a child after his father had left and he respected her for it; she hadn’t given up on him like his father had.

“Just tired,” he elaborated with a shrug.

“Happy Lowman,” Mama said slowly and he knew he was in trouble, “if you do not tell me what is wrong I’m going to call Catherine and she can get it out of you. You know I will do it.”

The ultimate threat. Mama knew he couldn’t refuse anything Catherine asked of him and she would use this to her advantage. He got his talent for interrogation from his mother too although her techniques were perhaps slightly less violent than his.

“Ma…” trying to reason with her was useless but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try but the when she reached for the phone he caved and put his coffee on the counter behind him, “I’m just not sleeping. Please don’t call her.”

“Bad dreams?” Mama frowned and placed the phone back on the small dining table.

Happy nodded slowly and folded his arms uncomfortably. Mama had been awake and waiting for him to get home in the morning only to see their family pet covered in blood so there was no way he could have hidden what he had done from her. He had told her about it; the phone call, the attack, and the conversation he had had with Catherine afterwards, how she had been the first person to validate the feeling of fear when he had to switch prisons… the way she had held him afterwards. He hated being soft and vulnerable but it was different with Catherine; she made him feel more comfortable about it and didn’t laugh at him like he thought she would.

“Oh Mijo… she is safe.”

“I know.”

It didn’t help though because when he slept he wasn’t able to save her. The only thing that would calm him was when he stayed with her after she had danced for him; when he opened his eyes he would see her sleeping peacefully beside him, curled up on her pillow. He would confirm that she was safe by touching her hair or her hand before being able to get back to sleep. But he couldn’t sleep with her every night regardless of how much he wanted too. Vulnerable wasn’t something he was ever going to be happy about.

“I’ll be back later,” Happy said to his mother after a long silence, “love you.”

“I love you too Mijo. Have a good day.”

Happy nodded and slid the kutte over his shoulders so he could go to the meeting Clay had called that morning. He didn’t mind going into the clubhouse on his days off but on that day he would have preferred to have just gone back to sleep or maybe fix the fence in the backyard and the leaky faucet in the bathroom. They were jobs he had been meaning to do for a while but just never got around to it for whatever reason. It looked like they were going to have to wait a bit longer.

He backed his Harley into the line on the forecourt and started walking towards the clubhouse when Juice ran towards him looking excited.

“You gotta see this Man,” he said to Happy, “it’ll blow your mind!”

Happy raised his eyebrows in surprise at how energetic Juice was that morning. They walked together towards the clubhouse and into the chapel to see the guys already sat. They didn’t look excited like Juice did. In fact they looked serious and almost frightened. It must be serious. There was a laptop open in front of Happy’s seat and on the screen there looked to be a family photo. Happy didn’t recognise the people in the picture and looked around in confusion.

“What’s this?” He asked, pointing to the screen.

“You don’t recognise anyone?” Juice asked, almost bouncing in his seat and Happy shook his head, “Look closer. I didn’t recognise her either but it’s been ages since I last saw her. And the bandages and stuff.”

His eyes scoured the photo for a familiar face then he was drawn to a pretty blonde teenager who was smiling and holding a cute toddler with big grey eyes and a mess blonde curls. It was Mrs Duke-Dillinger as a teenager and Catherine looked to be about 2 or 3 years old. When Happy lifted his hand to point speechlessly at the image Juice nodded excitedly. There was someone else Happy recognised too. Greta. She had her arm around Catherine’s mom’s shoulder and smiling proudly. On the other side was a tall, slim man with grey eyes and grey hair in a sharp suit and shiny black shoes.

“She had Catherine when she was a kid,” Chibs said to Happy, almost gently as if not to upset the Tacoma Killer, “she was only 15. Those people are Luca and Greta Donati, her grandparents.”

“Luca Donati,” Clay said in a less gentle tone with clenched hands on the table, “is the head of the Donati crime family out of Queens and Brooklyn. They’re Italian mafia.”

Happy’s stomach dropped to his knees when he thought of all of the problems they had caused for the Duke-Dillinger family over the time they had been in Charming. Over a matter of 8 months they had destroyed their new houses and extorted all of their money from them. Had they known they had connections to the Italian mafia they wouldn’t have been so brash and obvious about who it was that had ruined their lives.

“We need you to ask the girl about it,” Clay continued, “and see what she knows.”

“Catherine doesn’t know anything,” Happy told him and shook his head, finally looking up at his president.

“Sounds about right,” Bobby laughed then stopped when Happy looked at him furiously.

“I’m not spying on her Clay. I can’t. She’s my… friend.”

Clay sat back in his chair and laughed. Happy had never directly refused an order before but Catherine was his friend and she trusted him more than she trusted anyone else in the town. She had told him as much even after he had terrified her.

“We know exactly what she is,” Clay said humourlessly, “and we all think you’ve gone far enough. Your little breakfast dates and dog walking isn’t getting you any closer to taking that virgin pussy. Give it up.”

Kozik put his hand on Happy’s shoulder as he trembled with anger. It wasn’t just anger though; it was a white hot rage that he had never felt directed towards another club member before. Clay recognised the look in Happy’s eyes and shuffled in his chair uncomfortably as he realised he had made a mistake. Hearing anyone talk about Catherine, the girl Happy adored, like she was nothing but pussy and a mouth was one of the things that he couldn’t stand. Catherine being a virgin was something that excited a lot of the guys in and around the club.

“She’s never mentioned New York,” Chibs cut in quickly, “unless she’s talking about a vacation she’s taken. They went for New Years a couple of years ago. That’s it. Nothing else.”

“What about her family?” Jax asked, shifting his eyes from Happy and Clay to Chibs.

“Nothing. ‘Daddy, Mom and Jack’ are all she talks about. That’s it. She doesn’t know she has anyone else. Duke-Dillinger’s ma died a few years ago.”

“Who’s her dad?” Happy asked suddenly as the realisation hit him and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t considered this when she talked to him about it, “Her mom had her when she was a kid. Didn’t meet Duke-Dillinger until she was 20.”

“Some… politician,” Juice shrugged and dragged the computer back over to him, “that got into deep shit when he had sex with a minor but wasn’t arrested. He paid them to have her aborted but it obviously didn’t happen. He’s dead now. ‘Suspicious circumstances’.”

They all knew what that meant. The fear that the family could have a politician assassinated meant jack shit for a biker gang in a small town in California.

Juice clicked a few different things on the screen then smirked slightly when he slid the laptop back over to Happy. On the screen were a series of images that must have been Catherine as she grew up. Chibs also looked over his shoulder and chuckled at the one Happy clicked. She was dancing. There was a fake plastic crown on top of her messy hair, fairy wings on her back and a ballet dress over pink and white striped leggings. Despite the situation, and his previous anger, Happy felt a small smile appear onto his face. He flicked through the other photographs of her getting older. It moved from family photos in New York to ones of her on her own in LA. Cornelia must have sent them to her father. One picture that tugged at Happy’s heart, through pageant photos and photos of her and her family at parties and events, was the one of her posing jokily beside an ambulance wearing a dark blue uniform with a badge on her arm that specified that she was an EMT, tough looking work boots and her hair pulled back like always was when she had left the club after a night of dancing.

“There’s only one,” Happy said quietly, as he moved through the other pictures.

“They weren’t as proud of her in the ambulance as they were when she was winning them money,” Chibs told him.

Happy was proud of her though; he made a note to himself that he would tell her that.

“After they killed this guy,” Juice said while Happy continued to look through the various images, “Cornelia changed hers and Catherine’s names to Dillinger instead of Donati and they moved to LA with Greta. I guess they thought it would be safer than being in New York with all the feds looking over the family. Guess when her birthday is.”

Happy looked up at him and shrugged. She had never told him about her birthday date, just the parties she had had.

“November 2nd.”

The same as Happy’s. He had never mentioned his birthday to her either and he could only imagine the excitable arm slaps he would receive when he told her. She would insist on a joined party, he just knew it.

“She really doesn’t know anything? What about the boy?” Jax asked.

“Nah,” Happy shook his head, “he’s never said anything either. Wasn’t even born until they she was 8. They would’ve been in LA by then.”

Jack knew something though. Happy always had a feeling that Jack was hiding something from his sister but there was no way of knowing what that was.

“We need to talk to the mom.”

Happy nodded and the meeting ended. As the men filed out of the chapel they collected their phones and Happy smiled at his wallpaper as it flashed up when he checked for any missed calls or texts. Catherine had been horrified when she had seen the default background one morning and had forced him to take a picture of her, Romeo and Scrap so she could set it for him. It always made him smile when he saw it.

Suddenly, the peace of the morning was interrupted by the sound of cars skidding to a halt in the forecourt and shouting.

“Cops!” One of the mechanics shouted to warn the club.

And he was correct but it wasn’t Charming PD; it was San Joaquin County. They shouted, guns out and pointing at the men, shouting for them to get out of the clubhouse and on the ground. Outside, Gemma and Viv were stood facing the wall with cuffs around their wrists and officers keeping them there. They were just chatting, seemingly unbothered by the situation, but looked over to their men as they lay down.

“Filip Telford,” the sheriff said, “we are arresting you on suspicion of the kidnap of Catherine Duke-Dillinger. You do not have to say anything-”

“Fuck off,” Chibs laughed and looked at Happy in confusion.

The officers started to cuff the men as they argued about the charge only to be told they were being arrested for being accomplices in the crime. Happy frowned and fought against the cuffs. Kidnap? Was this her family taking them out or-

“Excuse me?!” A familiar, voice said angrily, “What on earth are you doing?”

Catherine appeared out of the work bay. Happy was immediately worried about her but he knew the cops wouldn’t do anything to her. She had her arms folded as she stormed over to the officer with an angry look on her face. Happy thought she was adorable when she was angry.

“Stay back, Ma’am,” the cop said, “this is a police matter. If you don’t want to be arrested I suggest you go home.”

“I can’t go home. You’ve got the people I live with in handcuffs.”

Kozik turned his head to look over at Happy and smirked when he saw his face. Happy liked it when she was bratty.

“Ma’am-”

“Don’t ‘Ma’am’ me! I am Catherine Duke-Dillinger! Do I look kidnapped?!” she held her wrists out to prove she wasn’t tied up, “Am I in danger?”

“Wait-”

“If you don’t untie these men immediately I will call my daddy’s lawyers and get you and your entire department fired!”

When the guy froze, Catherine took her phone out of her handbag and started to swipe through it. She tapped her high-heeled foot on the ground as she put the phone to her ear.

“Don’t worry Mr Chibs,” she said to him, “I’ll sort this mess out. Daddy has the best lawyer in California. Yes, hello? Mr Emerson? It’s Catherine.”

“Ma’am-”

Catherine put her hand up to stop the man talking and continued to speak to the lawyer about things that Happy didn’t even know she knew about. She was using words like, false arrest, probable cause, unlawful detainment and warrant. The officer repeatedly tried to interrupt her but she continued talking louder with her hand still in his face and refusing to look at him until he finally gave in and ordered for his men to start uncuffing the men on the floor and the two women at the wall.

“There has obviously been a mistake,” he told her submissively, “we’ll review the report and speak to the caller again. We apologise.”

With a triumphant smile, Catherine thanked the man on the other end of the phone and hung up. She didn’t say anything to the officer; just immediately went over to Chibs and helped him to his feet kindly before turning and surprising everyone to help Clay. She took his arm and allowed him to lean on her while he stood stiffly. She treated him like he wasn’t a biker gang president and spoke to him like he was any other old man.

“Are you ok, Mr Morrow?” Catherine asked in concern with her eyebrows furrowed and dusting off the front of his kutte for him, “They shouldn’t treat you like that. It’s not fair.”

“I’m… yeah. Fine.” Clay replied gruffly, just as shocked as everyone else.

Catherine nodded then seemed to look over all of the men before walking through the group and watching the police cars leave with a smug smile on her face and her arms folded over her chest.

“How did you do that?” Juice asked incredulously as they all dusted themselves off.

“You just gotta be pretty, rich and not let them speak. Wins arguments with guys all the time,” Catherine shrugged and turned to face them, “Is everyone alright? I bet that was Uncle Jerry’s call. Mom wouldn’t have called the cops if she knew I was safe.”

“What are you doing here?” Clay asked sceptically.

“Oh! I um… I brought you guys breakfast. I was just giving your guys that were working on the cars some when they arrived.”

When they all looked over to the work bay they saw the mechanics with takeout containers in their hands and eating various foods with plastic cutlery. Happy smiled slightly when he noticed the bags of food on one of the picnic benches.

“I got us pancakes,” she said to Happy, the first time she had acknowledged him, “come on. I got you bacon on yours because I know you like it.”

As they sat together, eating and talking, Clay realised something that the rest of the club had known for a long time. Happy liked Catherine. Happy Lowman, The Tacoma Killer, was flirting with the young, blonde girl. He was pushing her, nudging her as they sat together which made her laugh and shout at him. When he wasn’t flirting he had his arm crossed over her back and his hand on the seat on the other side with his body turned towards her and her body turned towards his. They liked each other.

“That’s gonna be trouble,” Clay murmured to Jax and nodding to where Happy was teasing Catherine with his bacon, “if the Donati’s find out.”

“If you were the Italian mafia,” Tig said when he overheard their conversation, “would you rather have Hap watching over your daughter or some rich LA boy that don’t even know how to wash his own ass?”

“They’ve been following her; they probably already know who we are and who he is.” Jax agreed, “If they were worried they would have done something by now.”

Clay hummed doubtfully but couldn’t disagree. They had killed a politician and a lot of other high profile people in New York; SAMCRO probably wouldn’t stand much of a chance.

HMMMMMMMMM- A short but necessary chapter! What do we think?

How much does Jack know? What will Catherine think when she inevitably finds out? Does Clay actually like Catherine now? What do we think of the whole club knowing that Happy likes Catherine?

What will their joined birthday party be like?!

Anyway! I will see you in the next one! See you soon!

Lots of love,

From,

Doe

[tinyarmyofqueerfolkwrites]

Thank You, Taylor Swift

So, I’m going to put this under a cut, just given the sensitive nature of the post, and the fact it’s really long.

The very short, trigger free version, is that it’s a love letter to @taylorswift after listening to Lover for what feels like the millionth time and specifically why I relate so much to Soon You’ll Get Better. The part that references cancer, depression, and death is warned about with a clear, visible end. So it won’t just come up on anyone who reads this.

I’m not a big believer in finding romantic love. I’ve seen very little of it in my life, my parents have been fighting for as long as I can remember and that kind of darkness seems to have plagued my life. But that isn’t say I don’t believe it exists. I’m a writer and I have seen my characters fall in love. I have written love of all kinds, from platonic, to familial, to yes, even romantic love. As easy as it is written, it is infinitely harder to find, in my opinion.

I can say I’ve never been romantically in love. And that’s okay for me, for right now. I’m in a dark place in my life, have been for far longer than I sometimes want to think about, but I’m still moving. Part of why I’m still moving is because of my friends, of my chosen family, of the people who have been in my life to love me and to keep me going. That love means a lot to me. And so does this album.

It’s Nice To Have A Friend, as romantic as it ends, reminds me of the first friend I can truly say I could have loved romantically. He was my best friend from the ages of 11 to 17. He meant the entire world to me. We dated, sort of. It was secret and in the background, but he was there when my world first started falling apart. The song itself is sweet and soft and nice. It reminds me of Mary’s Song, which had been one of my favorite songs of the self titled album. Because, above all else, I love hearing about other people in love. 

Another song that reminds me of Nick, unfortunately, is Death By A Thousand Cuts. I spent a lot of time wrapped around his memory. Because he disappeared from my life. It was this weird period of my life and it hurt. I ended up losing a lot of people I thought were my friends, so to lose him too was too much. It hurt less because I loved him romantically and more because I he was my world in a lot of ways I didn’t know you could love another person.

I Forgot That You Existed is a song that now makes me think of him, and a few other “friends” that abandoned me at various points in my life. The people I’ve now forgiven and forgotten about enough to be able to remember the good times, and the bad, without getting hurt. It’s just indifference.

Paper Rings is the first song I definitely had to put on repeat. It’s so upbeat and honestly makes me just really happy. It’s a good dancing song, something to bounce around to and, in a sense, dream to. It reminds me of my sister and her boyfriend, honestly. They’re the first kind of proper romantic love I’ve ever really seen in my life. They are so sweet and understanding of each other and they just moved in together as a way to help my sister. She’s honestly thinking of proposing to him and it makes me really happy for her, and for them. He respects her and he respects me, which is something previous boyfriends of hers didn’t do. 

If you want to avoid the talk of cancer, death, and depression please skip down til you find the gif. Everything after that will be positive again, cos I refuse to end on a depressing note.

So, in December of 2018 my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was living with my sister, it was Christmas time, mother didn’t tell us until after Christmas. It was weird for us. We’ve never had a good relationship with our mom, for a number of reasons, so hearing she had cancer came weird. I don’t know if it was shock or something else, but a lot of it was “it’s not the kind of cancer we imagined she’d get” cos she’s a smoker, so we figured, if anything, it’d be lung cancer.

Flash forward to late January and I’ve returned home with my parents. Mother is sick and needs someone to watch out for her while my dad works. I don’t like being back in the family home, it’s messy and fuels my depression, which fuels my anger. It’s not a good attitude to have when trying to care for someone with cancer, I know this. I just can’t help it sometimes, though I try.

Shortly after my return, mother started chemo and she started going down hill. I stopped sleeping in my own room so I was close to her at night when she was most liable to fall and hurt herself. And she did. A lot. And every time I fought to pick her up. I fought to pick her and up and stop the bleeding. It’s a thankless job, I knew this coming into it, but I had no choice. She’s my mom. Yeah, I have a really bad relationship with her and this isn’t liable to change, but this is something I have to do.

So, the first however many times I listened to Soon You’ll Get Better I didn’t necessarily react. And then September 4th rolled around. My grandmother, who was the kind of woman who pushed through everything, had been diagnosed with cancer so many times and come back every time, died. I didn’t have a good relationship with her either, barely knew her, she barely knew me but she was the stubborn sort. She died in the early morning hours, before I’d even gone to bed. I’d ask her not to die on my birthday (the 5th) and she didn’t, but it was hard to take either way.

Later that day, on my way to Orlando, to celebrate my birthday, I had my mom stop at Target. I needed a physical copy of Lover in my hands and I’d never gotten a Target Exclusive version of Taylor’s albums before so I needed it. Happy birthday to me, right? Well, I decided I wanted to play Soon You’ll Get Better for my mom. I cried. It was the first time I’ve cried in a really long time. And I want to kinda talk about why.

In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too

I went with my mom to a number of her appointments with her, including sitting through chemo with her on more than one occasion. I was raised in the church but as I’ve gotten older lost my faith, lost what it means to believe in a higher power. Because I’ve been hated on in churches, being queer and trans. But in all of this I’ve re-found parts of my faith. 

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal I just pretend it isn't real

Something I’ve always done, something I got from my mother, is you take the bad things and you shove them under the rug. You forget they exist and I hate to say it, it’s what I’ve been doing. To whatever extent I can. Because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I don’t, y’know?

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?

It’s hard to explain that fear, thinking about what life would be like if she dies. Because as bad as my relationship with my mom is, she’s one of the only pieces of sanity I have close. I mean this in the sense that I talk to my mom a lot, about a lot of stupid stuff, and sometimes about deep stuff. Maybe I do it because I know she won’t remember all of it, or any of it, cos our conversations often happen late at night, but I do it. I talk to her and I don’t know who I’ll talk to like that if she doesn’t get better. 

Part of why I’m writing this is because she might not. My mom has a lot of health risks, things that make operating for the cancer dangerous. It’s another reason why my sister and I were surprised when they said she had pancreatic cancer. We found out today that while the surgeon is willing, she’s high risk. Being high risk, the anesthesiologist might deem her too risky. That, despite all of this, she may not be able to get the surgery to remove the tumor. She hasn’t had chemo since May because she’s been too sick and too weak. It’s possible that if they can’t do the surgery, she won’t be able to do chemo again either to keep in check. 

That’s hard to take, for all of us and part of me just wants to put Soon You’ll Get Better on repeat because what else can I do? I’ve done what I can but it’s just not enough. 

So, that’s the long winded explanation of why I love that song and relate to it so much. And, cos I probably made anyone reading this cry:

Now to try and end this on a much more positive note.

A lot of the songs on the album that I don’t necessarily have proper connections to, that I still love deeply. Cruel Summer, You Need To Calm Down and Me! have this vibe that makes me want to dance, flat out. I go way too hard to the bridge in Cruel Summer. Like, it’s just one of those things I do and I do so apologetically.

London Boy, Daylight,  Cornelia Street and Lover are dreamer songs. Songs that make me believe that love does exist in a romantic sense. That when things are rough and tumblr, I can listen to and feel better, cos at least for someone out there a love like that exists. One that is bright and brilliant and still so very soft. They’re also really good songs to dance to. Like, this album really is full of bops.

So, Taylor, should you take the time to read this long post by a random person on the internet, thank you. Thank you for Lover. Thank you for the truth. Thank you for being you. This album has been such a bright spot in my life right now. I take joy in the little things and I take a lot of joy out of this not-so-little thing. This album makes my heart happy, even in the dark and it’s a beautiful thing. 

Love, 

Charlie (they/he)

[impandagrl]

When I See Your Face

Things might not be as rosy as they first appeared, as Y/N and Sam continue to explore their new relationship.

Part 2 of the 'Home Is Wherever I'm With You' series

Part 1 Here

Much thanks to the brilliant @justawaywardwinchestergirl and Edge_of_Clairvoyance for being amazing for encouragement, bouncing ideas off of, and providing excellent beta services.

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics (my way), emotional hurt/comfort, off-screen violence, Sam (seemingly) acting OOC

I have been working on this for a bit, I have several chapters already written and will be posting them as I can. If you want a list of known warnings, let me know and I will send it to you privately as it includes spoilers. If you want to be tagged let me know. 

During the next several weeks, keeping an eye out for Sam on Thursdays became second nature. It wouldn't happen every week, and they hadn't been able to have any noteworthy interactions, just that smile and gentle “Hey, Y/N,” - he somehow always made sure he got her without making it obvious he was doing it - and she would reply in kind and take his order.

This Thursday she was particularly hoping to see him because he hadn't been in the last two weeks in a row. It was a bit early yet for possible Sam sightings - she was just tidying up so she could take her lunch - when she saw him.

He smiled at her, but something was a little off about it and she felt her heart stutter in concern. “Hey, Sam, is -" she glanced around the mostly empty shop, and lowered her voice, “- is everything okay?” The question was a little unprofessional, but she couldn't help herself.

“Yes, of course, I get to have lunch at my favorite coffee place.” he was trying for light and joking, and almost pulled it off, but her instincts were still telling her there was something not quite right.

She made the split decision to drop a hint in the hopes he would pick it up, but left it up to him in case he would rather be alone. “Perfect! I get to serve my favorite customer right before I take *my* lunch.”

He seemed genuinely hopeful at this news, and it was his turn to subtly glance around and lower his voice, “Would you mind having lunch with me again?”

“Not at all, what can I get you?”

He looked over the lunch menu undecidedly and she interjected, “The strawberry almond salad is really good - that's what I was going to have, actually.”

He brightened at that and his small smile was the closest to normal he'd managed so far. “I'll take two of those, then.”

She gave him a mock reproving look, but wasn't going to turn down a free meal. She gave him the price and nodded toward the corner as she rang him up, “Meet you in the same booth as before?”

“Perfect, see you in a minute.” She scrutinized him as he walked away. She may have just been imagining it, but he seemed to carry himself a little more hunched, and move just a bit slower, than usual.

She brought their salads on a tray so she could carry extra vinaigrette dressing and two cups. She carefully set it in the center of the table before scooching in.

He eyed the purplish drinks curiously. “What's this?”

“Fresh berry lemonade. You bought the salads and I thought they would go nicely. I could get you something else if you don't like it . . .”

Sam shook his head, “I'm sure I'll enjoy it, thank you.”

They started in on their salads in silence for a minute before she decided to broach the subject as delicately as she could. “Would it help to talk about it?”

His eyes searched hers, “Uh, I'm not . . . I don't really . . .” He trailed off.

“Sam,” she leaned forward in her chair and her hand moved unbidden to touch his, but she set it down on the table a few inches short. “You don't have to tell me anything. If you want to, I'm here. If you'd rather we talk about something else, we can do that, and if you don't feel like talking at all and just wanted someone to sit with, I would like to. Whatever you need.”

She was rewarded by seeing some of the tension leaving his shoulders and face. “Thank you, Y/N, for being so understanding. Here's what I can tell you: most of it's to do with my job; I can't really talk about that part. . .”

Her eyes widened, but she tried not to let her curiosity show and after a beat he continued, “Let's just say, ‘rough week at the office’.” He landed a passable smile which she returned.

“Well, you know I'm familiar with those.” She was getting the feeling they weren't in the same ballpark, but if he wanted to downplay it, she could humor him for now.

“The rest, is . . .” His eyes dropped to his salad; he picked at it as he continued.

“Every once in awhile I get a new peek at something that happened to my brother when we were kids. He's older and my dad . . . had his issues. He made my brother feel like he was responsible for me, and put a lot on his shoulders - more than a kid his age should have had to deal with. I know my dad was doing the best he could. Raising two boys on his own after Mom died, wasn't easy on him. But Dean, he's still dealing with some of the repercussions of all that. And to top it off he hides stuff from me, tries to shelter me from the worst of it. And, I guess I just wish he could talk to me about what’s going on - if I had known at the time maybe I could have been there for him; been a better brother, I don't know.”

He was quiet for a few seconds and she tentatively summarized “So, the fact that Dean had to go through that is already upsetting enough, and then on top of that he hides it from you.”

“I mean, yeah. It's pretty much a pattern with him. Part of it is pride I think, he doesn't want to admit he could use his little brother's help, but part of it is that he almost believes it was okay - everything that happened, whatever dad did, or said, or any other crappy thing that happens to him - like he thinks he deserves it. And I don't know where to begin to help with any of it.”

He sighed and she found herself mirroring him in sympathy. “Wow, that's a lot.”

“I'm sorry, it wasn't right to dump all that on you.”

“Oh no, Sam, please! I asked you to, you have to be able to talk to someone. You were there for me when I was having a rotten day anyway, I can at least listen about yours. You know it's not on you to fix everything, but I'm thinking there are some things you can do to help - ways you can be there for him and support him and make sure he knows it's safe to talk to you. It's hard when it sounds like he's still stuck in his role as your big brother, and he still feels like he has to shelter you. I'm assuming you've tried to tell him you're a big boy and you're able and willing to help shoulder the weight?”

Sam rolled his eyes, his exasperation clearly directed at his brother, “Yeah, a time or two.”

“You know it's not your fault, right? You were just a kid. It doesn't sound like your brother blames you for what happened . . .”

“No, I think he wishes I just never found out.”

“It's tricky to balance wanting to help, but not to wanting to do anything that might discourage him from opening up to you next time.”

“Yeah, and he'll use any excuse to say, ‘See, that's why I never told you!’”

“It doesn't sound like a situation that can be wrapped up neatly in a bow. Besides being there for him to talk to when he's ready, I think you can let your brother know you love him and accept him on a regular basis, and that can chip away at that kind of deep rooted mess, but you can't fully fix it, and I don't think he expects you to. I'm sorry, I'm trying to give advice that you didn't ask for . . .”

“No, that's okay. You're right.” He ran a hand through his hair as if brushing away the somber mood and gave her a real smile, “So, have you read any good books lately?”

She respected his desire for a subject change and returned his smile, “Yes! I just started the third book in this series by Cornelia Funke - have you ever read the Inkheart trilogy?”

“Mmm, I don't think so . . .”

“Well, first off, you need to fix that, it's incredible! One of my all time favorites, and she's one of my favorite authors. Anyway, this series is called the Reckless series or the Mirrorworld series and it's great. She really sucks you into the story and her characters are very lifelike. She likes to write fantasy books, but based on the old Grimm fairy tales, so almost horror-esque in parts.”

He smirked as if reminded of a private joke, but looked intrigued, “I'll have to look for it. We have a lot of the same tastes in books; chances are good I'll enjoy it.”

Y/N had to stifle a groan as Terri rounded the corner, eyes widening as they settled on Sam and her.

“If you think you've had a long enough break, I could use your help,” Terri’s polite tone was forced, wouldn't want to be rude in front of a customer after all, but the edge of annoyance was apparent.

Sam stood smoothly, his cup and plate suddenly in his hands, “I do apologize for keeping your employee,” he faked a look at her name tag for Terri’s benefit, “Y/N provided me with an excellent recommendation - the strawberry almond salad was excellent - and I was just stopping to thank her when I pulled her into a conversation. She was just humoring a bothersome customer, I'm afraid.”

Terri was sputtering, “Uh, well, nonsense, of course Y/N was happy to be of assistance to a valued customer, I'm sure.”

“I won't take up any more of your time. Thank you, and I hope to be able to have lunch here again sometime.”

“Yes, Have a good day, stop by again!”

Through it all, Y/N was blown away with how effortlessly Sam had thought on his feet like that, but also she felt a prickling at her scalp and arms. On the surface Sam's voice was the epitome of formal and polite, but there was this undercurrent of warning. It spoke of hidden danger, but it somehow didn't make her afraid in the slightest. It almost made her feel more safe . . . protected, maybe because it wasn't directed at her, but at her unreasonable manager. She filed it all away for future perusal.

As Sam reached the door he turned to drop his dishes in the bin and, out of Terri’s line of sight, flashed her one of his sun eclipsing smiles and was gone. Terri turned toward her with a broad hint that the drawers needed to be counted for midday and scurried back behind the counter leaving her to finish clearing their table in peace.

The next few weeks passed normally. Sam appeared most Thursdays and they shared a smile. Sometimes they got to exchange a little small talk if the shop wasn't busy and Terri was nowhere in sight.

It had been a long Monday and Y/N was ready to go home. Her lazy coworker had ditched her to take a smoke break, but honestly, she was probably getting the closing list done faster without her. She saw that the full trash bags had been left by the door. “Really?! Couldn't have taken them with you when you went out back to smoke and play on your phone? That's fine, I got it,” she snarked.

She stepped out into the mostly dark alley and started at the sight in the shadows by the dumpster. Her brain was having trouble interpreting what she was looking at. A large shapeless - something - on the ground was moving in bizarre jerky motions and muffled squeaks seemed to be emanating from it. Something rose up at her gasp and the danger finally clicked. She screamed and threw the heavy trash bags at the figure before stepping back into the shop and slamming the door. The whatever-it-was fled, but she didn't stop or slow her movements as she hastily locked the door and dialed 911.

Dawn's light was peeking through the buildings and bathed the police vehicles in a rosy glow. The officers had taken an initial statement last night, but they had not been able to find any sign indicating the current whereabouts of the attacker. So they were back, having cordoned off the alleyway behind the coffee shop, and wanted to question her further. She did the best she could answering all their inquiries and remembering the incident last night with as much detail as she could.

She honestly was hoping she'd wake up and find out it was a crazy dream. Her coworker was alive, recuperating at a nearby hospital with some blood loss and lacerations to the neck. Everyone kept indicating she'd done something brave or heroic, but she didn't feel that way; she'd ran and locked herself inside, leaving her coworker bleeding on the asphalt.

She and the officer questioning her turned as a figure approached behind them. Her jaw fell open at the sight of Sam in a suit. He was mouthwatering; if you looked up “sight for sore eyes” in the dictionary, she was certain there would be a picture of him there.

“Officer. Sam Daltrey, FBI. This is my partner, Townshend. Your guy from last night sounds like a perp my office has been tracking for some time. We'll need access to the crime scene, any evidence you've uncovered so far, and witnesses.”

He nodded toward her and the policeman deferred to him, backing away mumbling for Sam to let him know if he needed anything.

“FBI?” She gave voice to the thing currently at the top of her running ‘wtf list,’ feeling like she was going to fall apart at any moment, but Sam's hand was suddenly on her arm, grounding her.

His face was grim, but his tone was gentle, “It's okay. You're okay. Come sit down.” He led her to a nearby booth and sat opposite her and for a wild second she wanted to forget the circumstances and ask if he'd read any good books lately.

His partner took a position a few yards away from them like a bodyguard, and appeared as if he was studiously ignoring their conversation. She knew he probably wasn't, but she appreciated the effort to make her feel more comfortable.

“Y/N, can you tell me everything that you remember about last night?”

She went over everything again. She hesitated before delving into the flashes she thought she'd caught of glowing eyes and far too many teeth. She knew they were most likely the results of her terror causing her to imagine things, and she felt mildly embarrassed, but she left nothing out. Sam got a vacant stony look on his face that she'd never seen before and it made her more nervous than probably anything else that had happened to her since she saw the thing in the alley - person, Y/N, it was just a sick, or drugged, or messed up human being, nothing more.

“Thank you for your time, ma'am, our office will be in touch.”

Wait, what? Ma'am? She felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “S- Sam?”

He had started to turn away, but he paused, meeting her gaze with a somber look in his eyes, features carefully blank. His voice was low, but as emotionless as his face, “I'm very sorry you had to witness something so distressing. We'll take care of it, I promise, you don't have anything to worry about.”

Everything was off, she had never felt anything but safe around Sam and now she felt - nothing - and it was freaking her out. She tried to keep her voice quiet, but she was sure it was easy to hear the blossoming panic. “Sam!”

“I'm very sorry. I assure you we won't be bothering you again, ma'am.”

The foreign-sounding flat voice uttering those terrible words stopped her cold and all she could do was stare at Sam's retreating back. His partner hadn't moved and was looking between them now with an inscrutable look on his face. When Sam reached the door he paused and she thought maybe he was going to say something to make sense of - everything, but he only murmured, “Let's go, Dean. We got work to do.”

His partner snorted at that, but followed after him. The door closed and Y/N’s mind was a blur. What the hell had just happened?!

This way to part 3

Want to be tagged? Let me know!

@luciisthebest @pinknerdpanda @mannls

[movingshelves]

Tracking my “series to read one day, just not today”

Authors who have written a lot (as in “I do want to read them but where do I even start ? Should I read them in a row ?”)

Lois McMaster BUJOLD

Vorkosigan Saga (7/31)

I feel like I need to reread from the start to be able to continue.

Bothari is something. Miles is one of the few disabled characters I’ve read and it was really upbeating to have him. Pure enjoyment.

C. J. Cherryh

I wanted some old science-fiction by female writers (thanks to The Left Hand of Darkness)

Anything by her is fine.

Glenn COOK

The Black Company (0/10)

I like my fantasy to be gritty. With adult protagonists.

Steven ERIKSON

Malazan Book of the Fallen (1/10)

Read and liked Gardens of the Moon. I wanted to read all of them before leaving some place, turns out that I really overestimated my ability to read. Furthermore, I would need to reread this volume and it is long. Postponing and postponing until I have both the time and a lasting ability to read. Requires a lot of commitment and raises the question of “how do you read a long series without forgetting anything in-between two volumes ?”.

Robin HOBB

What is happening with the Fool ?!

The Realm of the Elderlings (read the first few chapters long ago)

The Farseer Trilogy (0/3)

Liveship Traders Trilogy (0/3)

The Tawny Man Trilogy (0/3)

The Rain Wild Chronicles (0/4)

The Fitz and the Fool Trilogy (0/3)

Katharine KERR

Deverry Cycle (0/15)

Dunno. She appears too often in my brain for me to let her go.

Katherine KURTZ

Fantasy from the 70s ? By a female writer ? Checked ! Classical fantasy without it being a young girl bullied, I am in.

The Chronicles of the Deryni (0/3)

The Legends of Camber of Culdi (0/3)

The Histories of King Kelson (0/3)

The Heirs of Saint Camber (0/3)

King Kelson's Bride (0/3)

The Childe Morgan Trilogy (0/3)

Marcel PROUST

In Search of Lost Time (0/15)

For reasons I’ve since quite forgotten.

Rick RIORDAN

Percy Jackson & the Olympians (at least two volumes read) (2 ? /5)

The Heroes of Olympus (0/5)

The Kane Chronicles (0/3)

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard (0/3)

Somehow, it seems possible to read all of their series ... but I can wait

C. S. FORESTER

Horation Hornblower (0/15)

Watched one movie. Historical and maritime. Not something I am used to : “let’s try it”.

Cornelia FUNKE

Inkheart trilogy (0/3)

I swear I do read more “recent” books.

Ursula K. LE GUIN

Earthsea (0/6)

I’ve discovered Le Guin with her science-fiction. I like the idea of a young Ged wandering around, though.

Karin LOWACHEE

Warchild, Burndive, Cagebird (1/3)

I unexpectedly found Warchild at the library. I didn’t remember why I wanted to read it (surprising ?) but borrowed it nonetheless. To this day, I still don’t know how to feel about it but this one made me sad.

Angie SAGE

Septimus Heap (0/7)

One of those series I missed when I was younger. (Before Twilight took over).

Jonathan STROUD

Bartimaeus Sequence (0/3 + 0/1)

Had to return the first volume before completing it.

Lockwood & Co. (2/5)

Nice likeable characters. Really enjoyable but not enough for me to actively search for the following books, and even more so when I am down.

J. R. R. TOLKIEN

The Lord of the Rings (something like 5/1000+ pages ?)

Technically not a trilogy but long enough to know that I might struggle to get through it.

May finish The Silmarillion way before tackling the series.

Tad WILLIAMS

Memory, Sorrow & Thorn (0/3)

I like to read some “old” finished stuff, what can I say more ?

Roger ZELAZNY

Chronicles of Amber (0/10)

Doesn’t seem that long. Old series, as usual, there is a chance I might be in.

I am on my way (like possibly reading it in the next ten years)

Lynn FLEWELLING

Tamír Triad

The Nightrunner Series 

Both of them.

Diana Wynne JONES

Howl's Moving Castle series (1/3)

A pain to find her books in libraries and bookshops unless I buy them on the net. I do have two out of the three books in this series. And Howl’s Moving Castle is one of the few books I’ve reread and plan to reread again.

Ursula K. LE GUIN

Hainish Cycle (1/8)

I used to be less interested in science-fiction before but The Left Hand of Darkness was a slap in the face to say the least. Still not over it, it has been too long, already. A bit afraid to be disappointed in her other works (but I won’t, right ?).

Mary RENAULT

Alexander novels (0/3)

It’s either that or her Arthurian novels. I have a (weird ?) interest in Alexander the Great. This guy thought on a grand scale. Died young. Truly sad.

Dan SIMMONS

Hyperion Cantos (0/4)

I stop everytime after the priest story. Every single time.

Rosemary SUTCLIFF

The Eagle of the Ninth (1/8)

Read The Eagle of the Ninth a year ago, perhaps more, and I regularly crave for a reread.

Other series worth mentioning (quite often those ones from the 1980s-1990s, r/fantasy is often to be blamed)

Bernard CORNWELL,  Stephen R. LAWHEAD, Mary STEWART and Jack WHYTE

King Arthur.

Dorothy DUNNET

Lymond Chronicles (0/6)

I do like historical novels, even though I rarely read them. Perhaps was recommended because of Guy Gavriel Kay and prose ?

Jennifer FALLON

The Wolfblade Trilogy (0/3)

I have no idea why. Perhaps romance (?) and politics ?

Robert JORDAN (0/15)

The Wheel of Time series (0/15)

Once saw a fanart of Rand. It’s enough for me to begin a series. However, I am afraid that the depiction of women will leave me with a sour taste. Also, I don’t really like Brandon Sanderson (Way of Kings was just a nightmare to finish).

Juliet MARILLIER

The Sevenwaters Trilogy (0/6)

Yep, right, trilogy. Retelling of a tale. Why not.

 Sarah MONETTE

Doctrine of Labyrinths series (0/4)

???

Michael NAVA

Henry Rios novels (0/8)

I rarely read crime novels. I did found about these books at a specific time so I am very fond of these novels.

Melanie RAWN

Dragon Prince (0/3)

I don’t even know. Female author. Forgotten one ? Old one that nobody around me knows about.

[scarletrebel]

more destiny oc stuff: avias past and yr 1 destiny timeline

totally inspired by @mrpinstripesuit‘s post last night, also featuring their guardians, also @nattiebug14 and @lostinthehaywoods oc’s carver and cornelia

(im making a lot of assumptions on how grier and avia met btw pin so if theres anything you disagree with or wanna change thats cool!!)

- petra and avia become part of the queens guard - uldren takes an interest in avia, potential for her to become a crow, which she really, really doesnt want - reef wars, petras sister dies, avia begins to question the awoken, why this happened 

- petra grieves, avia is alone for the longest time and becomes frustrated, wondering what they're even fighting for - petra is promoted to the corsairs and avia has mixed feelings. petra needs the direction but avia doesnt think a promotion will fix anything, also if avia was a corsair uldren would Leave Her Alone.  - tries to convince petra that everything is bullshit but petra just hears jealousy and treason - uldren pulls her up on it, and that's when she knows she needs to Leave - steals a harbinger at the first opportunity she gets - gets out of the reef and into our solar system before the other harbingers find her - it's a long ass fight, avia is able to evade them for the longest time until they shoot her engines out somewhere around the moon - she dies. the harbingers leave. a ghost is born, shakes its shell, and starts searching. - the remnants of her ship, with her nestled in the cockpit, break orbit of earth and crash land in the cosmodrome - she's revived with her memory in tact and her heart broken to pieces - she rejects her ghost and the light at first but her ghost is persistent and she gives in and follows him through the cosmodrome to find a ship - they make it to the tower and she's so fucking scared. the awoken do not speak highly of the guardians. - but her ghost leads her gently to cayde and he welcomes her jovially. doesn't much care for her past (only because he doesn't expect her to know it) - going through the D1 story is what gives her the direction she needed and begins to ground her, making her realise she can be a better person than she ever was at the reef - afterwards she admits to cayde that she remembers everything, after figuring out that it's not a Thing amongst guardians because she's Confused. he's supportive and passes her onto Ikora - huge mistake - she loves Ikora - cayde is kind of sad about it (jk) - Ikora tells her about the thananotauts and at the concept avia kind of puts her nose up to. it sound stupid and weird to her and refuses to explore it, like ‘oh hey actually I don't care that much I'll just keep being a guardian who has my memory as a bonus yay’ - avia kind of wanders around for a bit, patrolling and running strikes with guardians she never keeps in touch with. this is where she learns that she really, really doesnt get along with a lot of other hunters.

- petra comes to the tower as the queens emissary. avia doesnt recognise her at first but petra recognises her and its

- its not a good time for avia. petra tries to speak to her but avia bails all the way to venus and has a good old fashioned breakdown

- ikora calls her back and puts her on a mission to find tolands scattered journals. she fears the worst ones may still be out there and she doesnt want any wayward guardians finding them and abusing what power may lie within

- little does avia know she has another warlock, scarlet-2, searching for them as well. 

- this is how scarlet and avia meet, with avia acting like a cat who caught their own reflection whenever scarlet is around 

- scarlet doesnt much care even though this pint sized hunter constantly trying to one up her is. amusing. 

- petra tries to approach avia again when shes in the tower with scarlet and the warlock very gently diffuses the situation, and has figured out by now that avia likes to Run Away and so she takes them to the cosmdrome 

- avia doesnt give a lot of details, but basically explains the situation to scarlet and mentions that ikora wanted her to talk to the thananotauts and scarlets like ‘ew. you dont need to talk to them. they’re weird and desperate for answers youre fine the way you are.’ 

- and a friendship is born 

- petra venj leaves the tower. 

- a fireteam takes on the vault of glass, and avia is only slightly disappointed she wasnt there

- avia spends a lot of time with scarlet and by extension lots of other warlocks too. she becomes a running joke to the vanguard mentors that she chose the wrong class. 

- so scarlet and eden met after twilight gap, they both helped build the wall and they became really close buddies. scarlet tells eden that she may have finally found a hunter for their fireteam and eden is so. excited. 

- eris morn returns from the moon, and avia sees this funny little warlock awoken talking with her all. the damn. time. 

- eden and avia meet, and avia is overwhelmed. she thinks that eden must be a new guardian and doesnt care to ask anything about her and wonders how the hell her and scarlet of all people are so close

- she doesnt really give the friendship a chance (although eden is patient and knows avias type all too well) until zavala asks eden to do routine sweeps of earth and the moon to make sure these blades of crota are kept at bay

- of course, eden drags avia along with her and it takes a wayward mention of building the wall for avia to get off her damn high horse and start taking eden seriously 

- they dont really take part in the dark below campaign, just keep on top of the rise in hive activity whilst scarlet talks to ikora and eris and studies the hive at the tower, in the middle of one of her ‘not leaving the tower’ phases that eden tells avia about

- which causes avia to a) worry about scarlet and b) begin to realise shes starting to care for people 

- emotions are weird you guys 

- avia starts to ask eden about the wall, twilight gap, everything that came before she got to the tower. eden answers all her questions with a raw truthfulness, although she doesnt know the specifics and laughs that scarlet would be better to go to for the history of the guardians and such, but avia is just fine with what eden tells her 

- and avia tells eden about her past, about dying but still remembering everything and petra. eden is very chill and happy for avia that shes somewhere better now, that shes trying to be better. 

- yay now avia has TWO whole friends. they become an official fireteam and eden is far too excited about it. 

- avia starts seeing that funny little awoken warlock less and less, and asks scarlet about him. she knows hes gone missing but kind of shrugs it off as a thing that warlocks do. avia says if scarlet ever does that avia will Hunt Her Down. scarlet just laughs.

- (she says this in earshot of ikora) 

- crota is killed. again, avia wanted to be there. she needs more friends

- avia basically sticks like glue to scarlet and eden, kind of refusing to run strikes and missions with any other guardians which is a problem

- avia meets carver and cornelia through eden and scarlet but is still really prickly. her fireteam are at their wits end. 

- ikora straight up forces avia on a mission with another warlock, and of course its the funny one who went missing a while back 

- she sees something in ikoras eyes when they meet for the first time but knows better than to question it 

- this. kid. is. a. handful. 

- their mission is something hive related, a big risk on ikoras part but avia guides them through safely. 

- ‘ooh a hive thing!’ ‘do we need to know about the hive thing?’ ‘no, but I-’ ‘then lets move on grier.’ ‘but-’ ‘now.’

- ‘youre mean, avia.’ ‘im also keeping us alive.’ ‘you dont have to be mean about it.’ 

- ‘fine, i will stop being mean if you start doing what i tell you to. deal?’ 

- idk i kind of imagine grier latching onto avia for reasons that i cant explain bc grier isnt my character but hes basically exactly what avia needs at this point in her life, a funny little warlock who gets under her skin. 

- she massively underestimates him, reminding her of what she did with eden so she loosens up and gives him a chance. 

- they run more missions and strikes together. she asks questions about his gun, his attire, why he likes the hive so damn much.  

- he tells her about toland and the hive, and the weapons of sorrow whilst explaining bad juju. she makes a mental note to keep an eye on him whenever he uses it (and somewhere ikora smiles gently to herself. it scares cayde.) 

- she tells him about the journals she found in the wild and he just :oooooooo asks a lot of questions about where and what was in them and what that could infer

- ‘wait avia, i thought you didnt care about hive stuff?’ ‘what? no, i just... dont like getting off track during missions.’ ‘oh. then does that mean you also actually like me and arent mean to me cause you dont?’ 

- she begins to find him quite endearing. 

- he gets them out of a lot of jams during missions just from his practical know-how and shes impressed too. 

- also asks a lot of questions about his sunsinger abilities and esp reviving himself. shes only ever seen scarlet be a voidwalker so sunsinger amazes her endlessly. she sees grier as a lot more powerful than he sees himself, and again, its totally endearing to her. 

- he introduces her to rook and eve. avia steers clear of rook at first, even though she finds him handsome straight off the bat.

- they play a few iron banner matches together, a mixture of griers fireteam, hers and carver and cornelia. avia starts to develop a crush after realising how laid back and relaxed rook is.

- also how freaking good at crucible he is. 

- he’s really easy to be around, she can be herself around him, around another hunter which is something she never thought she’d have. i imagine that means they talk about their class a lot seeing as avia never really did that with anyone else, or really cayde for that matter. it helps to get an insight into what being a hunter is all about from a guy who doesnt take it so seriously. 

- the flirting starts, playful and nothing serious and we allllllll knowwwww where that leads to

- then the wolves revolt. 

- before the tower even find out, she receives a message from petra, apologising. asking her questions about being a guardian, how she is. avia ignores it, the first of many. 

- she Refuses to get involved. 

- not even scarlet and eden can convince her. or ikora. or cayde. 

- but grier comes back from the reef one day and looks really dejected and hurt and avia is just. who hurt you. what happened. and he explains that none of the awoken at the reef like him??? he thinks a couple of them looked at him weird he couldnt tell it was all confusing and avia kind of sighs and. explains some things. 

- she tells him that she used to be Awoken and that she knew petra and basically tells him everything about her past whilst explaining that the Awoken have a very high opinion of themselves  - they go back to the reef together, but she still doesnt want to get involved in the uprising. 

- she goes and patches things tentatively with petra another day. its a case of avia explaining how she became a guardian and petra explaining why she was forced to become an emissary after accidentally killing a team of guardians. its an amicable, but strained relationship. they basically realise that they were never friends, just competitors. theyre both happier where they are now.

- avia grows closer to grier to the point where they’re inseparable, she flirts with rook, runs missions and strikes with her fireteam and really starts to come into her own as a guardian 

- she runs a lot of prison of elders with cornelia and carver and grows closer to them too, eventually apologising for being a little standoffish when they first met

- now avia has SO MANY FRIENDS and gets really emotional whenever she thinks about it 

and then taken king and rise of iron happen and they deserve posts of themselves tbh but!!! avias D1 experience!!! i love this kid so much

[haelieana]

TL : Leah

PR : Yeonie

The Tyrant's Love

Chapter 1 - I was forced back by the goddess of favoritism

That kind of appearance and chubby body that can be seen anywhere. Intermediate grades, neither exceptionally good nor bad. When just those things made a three combo, I became the worst human being.

Death also deserved it, and was very insignificant.

A college student commits suicide because he is pessimistic about life? I can't do anything like suicide. I was a coward.

My cause of death was overreacting due to an awesome appetite and the immediate body that followed.

The dull body fell asleep ignoring the pain even though I was in a hurry, and as a result, a heart attack occurred during my sleep. It was such a ridiculous and absurd death.

I was able to be reborn as the main character in the novel that I enjoyed, contrary to whether it was a gift from God to me who had never been the main character.

< The Breeder's Ring >

The world in the zookeeper's ring was the view of the world in which Anthea, the god of flowers and Azar, the god of fire, married and formed a country.

The marriage of God, the god of flowers and the god of fire, was blessed with the marriage of the century, but there was only one flaw in their marriage. The descendants born with the blood of Azar, the god of fire, restrained their anger.

The descendants who were not able to control their anger became tyrants through tyranny from generation to generation, and Anthea, the flower god, who felt sorry for this, created the ring of Anthea.

Anthea's ring was a ring to find the emperor's companion, and when the ring's owner wore it, the black diamond turned pink and was a mysterious ring that could not be removed no matter how hard you try.

The emperors who found their companions were remarkably stable in their redness, so that they could restrain themselves.

It was possible, and there was peace in the empire.

Even if you explain it in such a long and long way, there is only one conclusion. It was a book about when the owner of Anthea's ring, which was handed down from generation to generation, appeared, and the relationship between heaven put the tyrant to rest and became his wife and lived happily ever after.

Marilyn Horatia.

Apparently, the heroine of this book is to be the bride of the 32nd Emperor, Rayle Bertil, and to be a beloved empress by taming the great tyrant.

The tyrants were all weak against the ring's owner, as the author called Anthea's ring a zookeeper's ring. When the ring's owner appeared, they all acted as if they were living their lives solely for her.

I was reborn as Marilyn, the heroine in such a book.

However, unlike the original story, which is loved and happy, I was coldly treated by the male protagonist, Rayle.

She was taken away by the princess and died in prison, saying that she was the last one.

Something like this is a life that can only be cursed.

How can there be such a thing as a life?

That's who I am.

Yoon Sohee.

It was Marilyn Horatia's life.

***********

I remembered that Cornelia was slowly dying after injecting a strange drug into my wrist.

I opened my eyes behind the distant darkness that seemed to be being sucked in high, and I stood in a white space.

And a woman with dark pink hair and fresh green eyes stared at me with such a sad look on her face.

".... Who are you?"

"Nice to meet you like this, Marilyn. I'm Anthea, the god of flowers."

Anthea, the god of flowers?

Anthea, the god of flowers, caused me to live miserably and die. She was one of the founders of Bertil's founding myths, and the god who made the Ring of Anthea.

Now that it's all over, I can't guess why she showed up to me.

"Anthea, am I.... dead by any chance?"

".... Lynn, can you look in the mirror?"

Anthea pretended not to hear my question, skillfully turning the conversation around. As she sidesteps my answer and turns the subject around, I'm sure I'm dead.

As she looked still, questioning the word "look in the mirror" in the empty air, she grinned and reached into the air, creating a large full-length mirror.

The mirror wasn't the usual mirror to reflect the object of looking.

"This is...?"

A part of my chest stung because I felt desperate screaming.

"That's ridiculous. Is this a fantasy created by the goddess?"

"No, it's, as Lynn predicted, the future after Lynn's death. It's actually happening right now."

"Why... Why's Rayle like that?"

It couldn't have been. The situation I see now will not be true. There were things in the mirror that were too unbelievable to be true.

Obviously, Rayle had only been watching me dying.

But there was no way he could really be the one sobbing, unable to control himself.

"Lynn, please go back and stop this terrible future. Please."

Did I hear something wrong? How else can you tell me to go back?

If you were goddess Anthea, wouldn't you have seen everything?

Therefore, it was right to reject this ridiculous offer immediately.

"Please, please. Lynn.... You're the victim, too! Don't you want to make everything right?"

"Not at all! I want everything right this much! There wasn't a nail in the coffin. I mean, if it's already over and you're about to die, what's the point of going back?"

"Is it because you feel sorry for me? Is it? You're worried about your descendants."

"..........."

Antea couldn't answer whether she was stabbed to the core, and she was so surprised that she sighed.

Blood ties! Skin ties!

It's all a shitty combination.

I know it well because I've been hit by that combination a lot in my previous life. I never imagined that a person called the goddess of flowers and peace would be the goddess of favoritism, that only her descendants knew.

Now I understand why Anthea made that ridiculous ring.

"Lyn! I, for that reason....."

"Ahhhhhh!!! I don't know. Anyway, I have nothing to see with the descendants of the Goddess again."

I'm not going to save anyone, I'm not going back. I don't know if this is a dream or reality anymore. I closed my eyes and covered my ears.

"Lynn has no choice! It's a wrong ending, a wrong death."

"You don't have to reincarnate me like this again. Alas, this is how I will remain the soul of my life."

The more I listened, the more absurd the goddess was, and in the end, I lay on the floor as if I were a pear.

"Is that what I showed you in the mirror, the future after your death?"

"Yes~ It's the result of the Goddess's precious descendants' choice. And as the Goddess said, I’m a victim."

I'm a little deaf with a nose. I sang and looked away, and the goddess just looked at me.

"I'm so sorry, Lynn..... I have to get this right."

At the same time as that, my body, which was in a state of soul, began to shine, and I could only see that it was very refined.

"Oh, my God, fu*@&#&#! Anthea, you are the goddess of flowers and peace. God, the god of favoritism united by blood!"

***********

Smells like choux feet.

Born again.

I don't want that either, but I'm forced to.

Fortunately, among the misfortunes, it is that children are not. Starting from the days of shit diapers in the spirit of an adult, this is really something you can't do twice.

"Miss Marilyn! The Marquis is here!"

Now my touch was telling me. This feeling. It's kind of weird.

"Luda...?"

"What's wrong?"

Not Luda, who was dying in prison looking miserable, but Luda, who was alive and moving, stood in front of me. I guess I'm really back alive.

"Luda, how old am I now?"

"What are you talking about? You just turned 16 yesterday."

Oh, my God! Goddess must have made up her mind. It starts from the first meeting, right?

Me and Rayle first met when I was 16 years old when I could try on a ring. He was 23 years old at the time, and he must have had an affair with such a rich Cornelia because he kept on attaching him to a baby fishy little boy.

He was 23 years old at the time, and he must have had an affair with such a rich Cornelia.

Still, I've only looked at myself for three years, but when I look back, it's a real rot.

At this time, why did my mother and father call me? No matter how hard I tried to think back, I couldn't think of such a detailed memory.

"Lyn! Welcome."

"Mother and father, why did you call me?"

When I came back, I couldn't get used to seeing my mother smile at me without getting angry.

Since I became the ring's owner, When I was given the cold shoulder by my mother, she said, 'Every time you do that, you have to do better. You have to behave properly.’ All she did was push me harder on my back.

My father often sighed because he felt bad when he saw me being treated badly by Rayle, so unless it was something special, the two of them didn't bother to look for me.

Was it because I was neglected? The relationship between my father and Rayle, who was a competent military, began to distort when I became the owner of the ring.

In my family, in the Imperial Palace, in the social world, there was only one person next to me, who always protected me, Luda.

Wow, come to think of it, I lived a very poor life.

"Lyn, you know my friend is Duke of Bolton in the Empire of Katleya, right?”

"Yes, you've been friends since your academy days."

This book contains two major empires, the Bertilian Empire and the Kathleya Empire.

In addition, it was a world view of a huge land mass with a total of 9 kingdoms and sub-tribes.

Among them, there is a middle kingdom in the middle of Bertil and Kathleya, a country of the same concept as neutral Switzerland.

It is a place where education is very advanced and outstanding, and there is an academy that is eager to enter not only the two empires but also the nine kingdoms.

"This time Lucius' children are going to enter the academy! Lynn, why don't you go, too?"

Right! There was an offer like this! Last time, because I was dying to get on the original route for no reason, this time it's an escape study route!

"Good! I know that admission to the Oxford Academy is difficult, but my father is the best!"

After all, power is the best in the world. As far as I know, the Duke of Bolton was the board of directors or chairman of the Oxford Academy, or I knew he was in one position.

I'll never let Anthea get her way. This is it!

Bye bye, Rayle!