#not necessarily as an angst thing but also i'd imagine that like

[winterarmyy]

Behind The Facades | Part II

An unrequited pining over a certain super solider.

Navigation: Part I || Part II || Part III (end)

Words: 3.3k++

Pairings: avenger!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: angst. pent up anger. unspoken jealousy. conflicted feelings.

P/S: i heard you. i got you. since lots of you enjoyed the supposedly oneshot, so i decided to do a continuation for this couple. Hope you enjoy~

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Weeks gone by, months flown through and the team was already accustomed Bucky's girlfriend wandering around the tower. Though they thought she would move-in eventually, knowing that Tony allowed them to do so, but she hadn't done it yet.

While Y/N, on the other hand, felt like she was constantly walking on thin ice. Being tug in between holding herself together and breaking down.

What's worst about this was, deep down, Y/N wanted to hate her.

Gail Richards.

Bucky's girl.

A gorgeous red-head, sultry champagne-colored eyes, a deep dimple on her right cheek, sculptured body of goddess and heart of gold.

Y/N got to admit that she hated how perfect Gail was for Bucky. She had such a kind soul; it's impossible not to fall for her. In hindsight, she was exactly what Bucky needed in his life.

What he deserve.

And in the end, Gail managed to steal not just Bucky's heart, but also the entire team's.

Including Y/N herself.

The friendship between Gail and Y/N was true and genuine; even if it hurts her everytime when she was forced to see Gail canoodling with the man she had fallen madly in love with.

"So where's the date? Did he tell you or is it a surprise kind of thing?" Gail's questions snapped Y/N from her deep internal thoughts.

Her gaze fell into her own reflection in the mirror; she was fitted with a simple black satin dress, with a quite scandalous slit on one side on her thigh. Standing behind her, was Gail, helping her out with the pearl necklace she was graciously lending it to Y/N.

"I don't remember the name but it's that new michelin star restaurant." Y/N replied as she straighten her dress, suddenly feeling conscious of how tight the dress was hugging her body.

"Oh! I know that fancy new restaurant. It opened last week, right? Bucky and I haven't had the chance to go yet. I heard it's pretty hard to get reservation. I must say, I'm impressed."

While Gail seemed to approve of Y/N's date, she didn't notice the way Y/N's body froze as she mentioned Bucky's name.

Her fingers were itching to dug it's nails somewhere, anywhere; as she try to keep her composure as neutral as possible, "Yeah, I'll definitely give you my review before you guys go on a date there. Who knows if its not up to the standards, right?"

Oh, how desperate she was on wanting to hide her pain away.

"That's great, y/n! But, I'd rather you actually enjoy the date rather than secretly being an undercover food critique. Forget about everything and have fun for once! Who knows this one is a keeper, huh?" Gail rubbed her hands to side of Y/N's arms; her eyes brighten as she encouraged her.

Ignorance is truly a bliss; though it's not that she knows that Y/N had been in love with Bucky this whole time.

On the other hand, Bucky was starting to feel the effects of what Gail had warned him before. He doesn't want to feel like she doesn't love him because she does.

At least she tries to.

Persuing Gail was not necessarily easy; not because he was lacking or she played hard to get. But because of how honest she was; how self aware she was.

"Being with me is a hell of a challenge, Bucky. My emotions are unpredictable. Today, I will love you ever so truly; I will drown you with all the kisses and cuddles you could ever imagine but the next day you might not being able to talk to me or even see me."

"I'll go M.I.A and isolate myself from the world at any time, with no warning. I shut down without any reason."

"I might not be there for you when you needed me the most. I might abandon you when all you wanted for me to stay."

"Worst part about it is I won't feel sorry for what I did because I can barely feel anything during those time."

But he insisted to try.

Maybe it was the sudden surge of passion when he met her but he was determined that they could make it work.

So, try they did.

As his relationship with Gail progresses, his and y/n's started to astray. He noticed y/n has been keeping her distance with him since he got together with Gail.

She had been cooped up in her room more often. There was a gradual changes in their schedule. Lesser trips to the corndog stall that y/n was obsessed with, canceled trips on visiting Alpine, the cute little kitten they have been eyeing at the adoption center, and almost none of the late night coffee trips.

He missed her.

From her annoying laugh to her odd habit of scratching things in her sleep.

Her smile, her voice, her presence.

He missed all of it.

He missed her.

Which was why Bucky thought it was better to talk it out with her. Maybe there was some sort of misunderstanding that needed to be clear out.

It took just single knock before Bucky intrude himself into Y/N's room, "Hey, y/n I don't want to disturb you but can we..." Bucky's sentence did not managed to end with a period, thus his words was instead left hanging just like his mouth.

"Oh, wow."

For a moment there, Bucky literally forgot how to breath. It was as if the reality around him was deteriorating, leaving just the perfect view of Y/N. For a split second, his gaze seemed to dilated into a trance, slowly getting bewitched by the beauty before him.

Bucky was so captivated by how, almost sinfully, beautiful Y/N looked in that dress, he didn't notice his own girlfriend was standing right next to her.

Gail carefully slide her way towards Bucky as she prompted, "So... what do you think, Buck? Gorgeous isn't she?" A dreamy sigh escaped from Gail's lips as she admire the woman in front of her.

"Yes. Yes, she is."

Those were the words Bucky wanted to say but his mouth wasn't listening to his heart, rather it followed his head, "I didn't know you were coming over, honey." Bucky arms reached towards Gail as he scooped her close to him, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

It was subtle but if they paid enough attention, they could see how Y/N's gaze quickly shifted downwards to her feet. Her teeth sunk between the insides of her left cheek as an effort to distract herself from the thunderstorm within her chest. A little bit more force on her teeth would've tore her up and left her bleeding from the inside.

How much longer she must be in this torment? How much suffering her heart needs to endure until it adapt to the pain? She's tired of the ache in her chest but at the same time she can't help it when her heart yearn for a love that's never going to be hers.

"Well? Is she not goddamn beautiful?" Gail playfully slapped Bucky's arm, demanding her question to be answered.

"I mean..." Bucky stuttered to find words. Especially when those round doe eyes of Y/N's spark with anticipation.

All those milliseconds of time Bucky had to think of an appropriate, truthful answer but somehow he only come up with, "...i guess, you could do better."

Idiot.

Straight up dumb.

Bucky immediately regret his words when the gleam in Y/N's eyes suddenly faded; turning into something cold and stoic.

Gail huffed in denial, before taking Y/N's side, "Then you sir, need to check your eyes because she's absolutely stunning". Y/N gave a small smile as Gail pulled her for a side hug.

"Why are you dressed up anyway?" Bucky wanted change the topic before he said something stupid again.

There was a noticeable pause on Y/N's side as he asked, as if she was unwilling to tell him. However, the reluctantcy only arouses his curiosity.

Y/N turned around and faced the mirror. As she fixed the necklace near her collarbone, she made an eye contact with Bucky through his reflection and answered, "I have a date."

Something shifted in the air; as if it was getting heavier, sturdier.

"Who's the guy?" Bucky was clearly not amused with the idea. It barely filtered through his stern tone.

"Daniel. One of the SHIELD agent I worked with before." Y/N noticed how his expression morphed into a frown.

"Why is he making that face? "

Bucky seethed, "That douchebag? Really y/n?" There's a hint of disappointment in his voice; like how a father would scold his daughter of doing something stupid.

And that ticked her off.

She's a grown-ass woman; she can do whatever she wants, date whoever she wants. None of it was Bucky's concern.

"What do you mean?" Annoyance flowed through her tone.

Bucky rolled his eyes as he recognized that name.

Daniel.

That scumbag whose always staring at her. And not in a cute, crush-like way. There's nothing innocent about the way he stare at Y/N's ass and boobs, or always finding excuses to touch her.

However, Y/N has been oblivious to it since Bucky had always been with her.

Since when did that douche got close to Y/N? How did he managed to get Y/N agree to go to a fucking date with him? More importantly, how did Bucky not know all of this?

There was this uncontrollable, unexplainable rage within Bucky that he was unable to contain; like a venomous poison it seeped through his head, "Are you that needy to even consider going out with such scum? Come on, y/n. You're being naive, it's ridiculous." Bucky scoffed as his tone laced with scorn and mockery.

Gail gasped in complete shock, "What is wrong with you, Bucky? That's not--"

"That's not fair. How can you have the luxury to fall in love and lived happily ever after while I have to continue to break and break, again and again?"

"Ridiculous? Am I a fucking joke to you, Bucky?!" Y/N could hold back her own anger as she turned towards him. His face remained the way that it is; red and furious and he was not willing to put his ego down either.

"You know what?" Y/N swerved towards the bed, "I am going to go this date with Daniel, whether you like or not..." She took her purse on the edge of the mattress, "...and I am going to enjoy every second of it!"

"Thanks, Gail. I really appreciate your help today." Y/N smiled as she briefly took Gail's hands into hers. Blinking in confusion, Gail replied, "Y-yeah.. sure--" though her speech was cut short when Y/N interrupted.

"And you!" Y/N shot a glare towards Bucky before marching towards him, "You can go fuck yourself." She clashed her shoulders into Bucky's before walking out her own room.

Bucky gritted his teeth; his jaw clenched in pure vexation as his frown grew deeper.

Looking at her very angry looking boyfriend, Gail let out a tired sigh, "Why would you say such thing to her, Bucky?

Why did he say those things?

He could explain it much better way, knowing that he had plausible reason to why he thinks she should not go to this date.

But, why did he not do that?

Why did he lash out and spat those hurtful things to her?

Even Bucky himself was not sure why.

After that Bucky spent the rest of the night at the gym, and this was the third punching bag that he had completely destroyed. He could see his girlfriend coming in from the corner of his eyes, with an emergency kit in her hand.

She sat at a nearby bench before, "Bucky sweetheart, come here." Gail softly asked him sit with her.

Despite the grunts and gruffs that slipped from his lips, he still obeyed her; though partially was because she had been sternly staring at him.

Gail gently remove his boxing glove of his right hand, then lo and behold his knuckles was crushed and bloodied.

"The wrappings is there for a reason, you know?" She knew he would this; especially when he is guided by rage. Bucky remained silent, knowing that if he did not control his anger first; then he would probably do the same thing he did to Y/N again.

There was a comfortable silence as Gail was tending his wounds. Bucky looked down at her, focusing on cleaning the wounds. She was always careful and tender while handling Bucky; as if she was taking care of a child.

"You love her, don't you?" Gail calmly asked as she started to wrap Bucky's hand.

The question caught him by surprise, "What do you mean?"

She chuckled softly, "y/n. You love her. Am I right?" she reclarify.

It didn't need a genius to figure out how Bucky truly feels about Y/N. Even if he himself if not aware of his own feelings.

But she can see right through him.

She noticed how attentive was Bucky towards y/n. How he looked at her; like she's his whole world. How every single thing he does somehow relates back to Y/N; and he cannot go by a day without mentioning her name in their any conversation. How peaceful looked when y/n is anywhere near him.

She noticed every single one of those detail.

"Of couse, I do. It's y/n we're talking about here." Bucky replied as-matter-of-factly. Though there was some truth in his answer but it was not all.

Gail shook her head lightly as she holds Bucky's wounded hand in hers, "No, Bucky. You love her." Her brows crunched into a pleading curve as her gaze turned gentle.

Bucky frowned in confusion; he looked down at his hand where her thumb caressing his knuckles and he thought back all the moments he spent with y/n.

From the very first day he met her, on those nights she stayed with him, through thick and thin, her eyes on his, her smile on his cheek, her laugh in his arms, her voice in his ears, her skin on left arm, everything flashed through him so fast until a single moment when he realizes.

"I love her."

Gail recognized the glint his eyes, "And she loves you too, Buck." She coaxed.

The frown on his face turned into a shock as she spoke. Even if Y/N does love him, what does that mean?

"What are you saying?"

"Go." Her voice were somehow calmer than she was supposed to speak in such a dire situation.

Bucky knew what she meant; he knew what those eyes were telling him, "Gail, you--"

She cut him before he could say anything, "We did agree to see where will this take us..." her smiled was somehow bitter-sweet, "And I guess this is our end of the line."

A hit of pain struck Bucky's heart, "You don't have to do this." His left hand raised to tenderly cupped her cheeks; it was warm. Unlike his winter cold hand, she was warm. Like the soft heat from the morning sun.

She placed her hand on top of his as she craved a reassuring smile, "I want to."

And that broke Bucky's heart. And it broke for her.

He loved Gail.

All the feelings he felt for her was real. As real as the feelings he felt for Y/N. The only difference was he didn't realized he was in love with Y/N, but he did with Gail.

"And to be honest, I'm not sure I can keep up with the emotional commitments, I'm always M.I.A and lost in my own head..."

As Gail starts to ramble, Bucky wasn't hearing any of it. His eyes stings and his vision blurred.

There was only so much any man can handle.

There was joy in realizing his was in love with Y/N but there was also agony in knowing he had to break Gail's heart. Unable to hold back his emotions anymore, his tears finally broke out.

She was prepared not to cry today but seeing Bucky like this; who wouldn't tear up, right?

"Hey hey hey, I'll be okay. We'll be okay." She placed her palm on Bucky's cheeks, wiping away the tears with her thumb as she lead his gaze to her own.

"Bucky, listen to me. I don't want you feeling like you're alone." she cooed, her eyes had gotten glassy as tears filled within them. "You deserve so much more than what I can offer you, do you understand?" Bucky can simply nod as he feels like his voice will betray him.

"Good." Gail closed her eyes and leaned into a kiss. A soft innocent kiss on his forehead, as their tears fall on each other's bare skin, "Now, go get your girl."

<< Part I || Part III >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Feel free to leave some feedback behind! And what do you think of Gail? I thought it'd be nice to have a different characteristics for her instead of the cliche 'bitchy and rude' girlfriend.

There's no actual taglist. So, I only include those who reblogged with comments and/or commented on the previous part. However, do tell if you want or do not want to be tagged.

Taglist: @ghostofwinter @angstysebfan @erinallene @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @paarthurnax59 @nomajdetective @kentokaze @dexter99 @nana1000night @prettyinpink350

[tomurakii]

My last post about bloodweave was pretty negative (though necessarily so imo) so I wanted to talk about the little things about the bloodweave dynamic that I DO like and want to see more of in fic (under the cut).

- the orb means Astarion can't start their relationship transactionally. Gale can't give Astarion blood, and also can't have sex with him (and presumably would refuse casual sex anyway). How would the relationship develop without Astarion being able to rely on the give-and-take, forced instead to just trust Gale will watch his back? Astarion isn't a plans guy, I imagine having to come up with something on the spot (considering none of the other companions are reeaaaally an option either) would lead to a lot more emotional vulnerability as he tries to take a route he has much less experience with. Not to mention that the flirty and standoffish front isn't exactly going to endear him to Gale, who approves of the capable, loyal, and righteous. How long can Astarion pretend to be invested in Gale's wellbeing before it becomes true?

- they both have bad ascension endings, but different natural outcomes. Gale is considered the more morally upstanding one, but in their solo states (without the player's influence) Gale will go through with ascension and Astarion won't. Would they goad each other on? Gale disapproves of Astarion's ascension, using arguments that could apply to himself about the personal sacrifice and loss of the soul. Would Astarion flip them around, become defensive? Their dynamic could mean the power hungry character ending up discouraging the pursuit of godhood, or the two of them hurtling over the edge together. Or, maybe, Astarion encouraging Gale to ascend and having to trust him to return.

- they're the party members with the most life experience, and they're also both pretty well-educated (even if Astarion's law qualifications may well have expired by the events of the game). He spent his time under Cazador sewing (like Gale in his Baldur's Gate epilogue) and learning languages (of which Gale knows four). They have enduring common interests beyond their circumstances. Gale can help Astarion rediscover the latent nerd potential he lost when he died, and lord knows he would love to pick his brain for a first hand account of the mid-to-late 12th century.

- Astarion recently regained hope for his future when the tadpole freed him, Gale recently lost all of it. While act 1 is a continuous series of positive discoveries for Astarion (tadpole frees him from cazador -> ceremorphosis is held off by the dream visitor -> tadpole can be controlled), Gale's life gets worse with time as his treatment stops working. It's a dynamic that could give Gale hope, force Astarion to practise empathy, or put them completely at odds.

- Astarion's all-encompassing desire to reclaim his life could be inspiring to Gale. Moreover, I imagine seeing just how passive Gale is about his death would infuriate him. To have so little regard for his real, mortal, free life? It's a great source of angst, and also a great starting point for Gale to start wanting to live again. Because after learning about Astarion's past he would agree, he'd recognise how much value a mortal life was supposed to have. He'd think himself ungrateful or impolite for entertaining the idea of throwing it away when Astarion would give anything to have what he had. This would lead to guilt, and potentially self-loathing, unless someone was there to help pick up the pieces.

- If Astarion meets Oblodra before Gale's act 2 romance scene, (or for a fanfic plot, just before Gale is confident enough to confess) they most likely won't have sex until the graveyard scene in late act 3 (or the post-ascension equivalent). It means that rather than the fuckfest we so often see from bloodweave fics, the relationship is almost entirely a slow-burning, emotionally intimate affair. I'd really love to see that play out, the progression from semi-horny yearning on both parts as the orb keeps them apart, to two love confessions that are followed by the both of them experiencing non-sexual intimacy for the first time in years. I doubt Mystra was one to hug her chosen, after all, or hold their hands.

I just love a bg3 ship that forces the characters to take different actions than they do in canon. It makes me feel like I'm developing a broader understanding of the characters, you know?

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Would you mind talking more about Ghost? I dig your interpretation on him so i'm curious if you'd share your thoughts; since i know how COD in general writes these characters and we know romance isn't on the table for them, ESP for someone like Ghost (even confimred by his voice actor too!)

So all that aside, in your opinion, what would it take to win Ghost's heart (or well, Simon's)? :)

It's great to hear you like my interpretation of Ghost! I'll gladly share my thoughts on this, the supposed love life of Simon Riley is one of my favorite subjects 🧐

Thoughts on what would it take to win Simon's heart under the cut ->

To be honest I see it highly unlikely that Ghost would date. I think Samuel Roukin's opinion on this matter was spot on. Simon's traumatic background, trust issues, the need to stay anonymous and his profession as a special ops soldier is just too heavy a combo. His family's murder and multiple betrayals have pushed him on a path of extreme independence and made him evade any kind of attachment.

That being said... I'm a hopeless romantic and love to imagine scenarios just like every other little simp here 🩷💋, and I've pictured (and occasionally written) him to be drawn to someone who is principally the opposite of himself, but who also has a dash of angst in their heart and firsthand experience or at least some basic understanding of complex trauma.

A positive vibes only/sunshine type of person would not resonate well with his darkness, and a carefree joker would only annoy him. Then again, there's Soap – but the thing with John MacTavish is that he shares the same profession and in that way, is not a stranger to the Underworld. Their banter is also evidence enough that Soap is not afraid of Ghost's madness and even looks up to him – actually a perfect way to make someone like Ghost enjoy your company. This man has a terrible praise kink but he can't stand spineless bootlickers. So the adoration should happen in a "I trust you and would follow you to hell & back" kind of way.

However, due to the shit he's been through, I'd say (contrary to popular headcanon, I dunno?) that Simon would likely fall for someone outside the military world. First of all, he's very uncomfortable with the fact that his partner has to fear for his safety. But the fear of losing his partner to the dangers of this profession would be a little too much. It would only trigger a shitload of PTSD stuff. The fear of losing a loved one again would override the mutual experience and bonding through warfare, all the elements which otherwise might be pull factors in a military love interest. On the other hand, people with traumatic backgrounds tend to repeat the pattern, no matter how horrific or unsafe, simply because it's familiar. Still, I'd say someone from the base personnel would be a more alluring option for him. The shared hell, so to say, could make the foundations of this relationship quite dark. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing!

Deep down, Simon would be attracted to softness. Not innocence, per se, just something different from the realm in which he operates. This is why I think he could definitely fall for "a normie". He would appreciate dark humor and a certain kind of fearlessness, however. What ultimately would win his heart is someone who can stand, even cherish, his melancholy and cynicism and life choices and who is not on a quest to change or "fix" him.

I think Simon's ultimate wish is to find a home because he has lost it (or hasn't really had one in the first place). He's a leader and has to provide safety and support on a daily basis to the people under his command. But who offers support and safety to him? He knows how to protect people but doesn't know how to create a safe space, so he would appreciate someone who makes him feel he's finally found his way home. I think he yearns for a small measure of peace and a slice of normal life to wash away the adrenaline and blood and filth, he wants a small corner free from the demons that haunt him, even if he would reluctantly (if ever) admit that he does.

[tokkishouse]

If requests are closed ignore this but can you do xiao x reader?

The reader is an adeptus as well one xiao wasnt aware existed till the chasm incident when he saw a small crystal fly coming towards him before zhongli saved him.

How would he react and fall for the reader?

Fluff please? I've read too much angst

Requests are not closed! I was a little confused about what specifically you were looking for so if I need to adjust, by all means, let me know ❤️ I tried to make this fluffy but I think. I made it too solemn. Also, thank you all for 300+ followers. I'm so glad you all enjoy my writing. It really motivates me to keep at it 😊

(Sfw) Falling for You

Characters: Xiao x GN!Reader

Warnings: Spoilers for the 2.7 archon quest, reader is an adeptus with a pyro vision, it's fluffy?? To an extent? A bit of a somber end but no one necessarily dies

WC: 1.6k Words

Check out Pt. 2 Here! (nsfw)

Xiao felt his body grow weaker as he fell deeper down into The Chasm, the panicked voices of his allies but a distant sound. He had put all his energy and power into sending them back home-- he had done his duty faithfully. There was no need to feel regret or fear for the inevitable.

Just as his eyes slowly fall shut, a small red crystal fly flutters towards him. Only for a moment, a glimpse of life before his eyes. Before he can focus too hard, a glimmer of yellow shines, and geo-energy shoots right at him. Warmth encases him and as he closes his eyes, the crystal fly disappears.

Soon after, he appears outside The Chasm with the others, who hurriedly run over to check on him. His mind is racing and the residual energy is buzzing off of him. The words of concern from his allies fall on deaf ears-- all he could focus on was what he saw as he was falling.

That crystal fly...why is its energy so familiar...

✦✧✦✧

The next time Xiao feels that familiar energy, he's out patrolling the beaches near Wangshu Inn. One of the renters at the inn mentioned a hilichurl camp that was giving trouble to passersby and he wanted to investigate for himself. When he arrived, he saw you standing there, back facing towards him, in the center of what he can assume is the remains of the camp.

Smoke and water vapor rise around you and the smell of burnt wood and flesh floods his nostrils. You made quick work of the camp, as there was barely a mask left behind in the wreckage.

"I'm glad to see you are able to be up and moving fairly quickly, Alatus."

Xiao tensed a little-- you never turned around and yet you knew who was behind you.

"I'm an adeptus. It is not easy to take me down," he replies, tightening the grip on his spear. "Who are you?"

You finally look back at him, wearing a smile that does not quite reach your eyes.

"I am Y/N. Nice to meet you."

Xiao's breath hitches as he meets your eyes. There are speckles of red in your iris, reminding him of embers flittering off a flame. The longer he holds eye contact with you, the more intense the feeling of his heartbeat gets. It's loud and rumbles like thunder. He was sure there were no other adepti, and he definitely did not sense your presence in the chasm before. So how...

"I'm quite new actually. Only a few hundred years old-- nothing compared to your age I'd imagine," your voice pierces through his head, breaking him out of his thoughts. "I signed a contract with Morax and was spending my time in Natlan. However, when he told me what you were up to, I made my way back here."

Xiao studies your face, looking for any trace of deception. But your smile, while ingenuine, revealed no such thing.

"Then, you were the crystal fly?" He questions, and you nod, your smile widening.

"Ding ding ding-- we have a winner! I help Morax figure out where you were so he could rescue you. Although, I'm sure he would've found you all on his own eventually. He is the Geo Archon."

You pull out a pocketwatch from your bag, clicking your tongue when you see the time.

"It appears that I'm running behind on another errand. You'll have to forgive me, Alatus," you apologize, putting the pocket watch away. Just as you're about to run off, he stops you.

"Xiao. Call me Xiao," he insists. "That name carries memories and a history that is no longer relevant."

You look back at him, eyes scanning over his features properly. After a bit, the warmth from your smile reaches your eyes, and you nod.

"I'll see you around, Xiao."

✦✧✦✧

You and Xiao meet up more after that day. At first, you'd make bi-weekly trips to Wangshuu Inn, relaxing on the rooftop under the shining moon with Xiao as you recount your adventures to him. You remind him of Ganyu or even Yanfei, with you all having closer proximity to humans and even the mannerisms you've managed to adopt.

On one particular evening, you both exchange your favorite meals: he lets you try almond tofu, and you offer him a delicacy from Natlan. Neither dishes are to the other's taste, and you laugh it off as a result of "different environments." Nonetheless, you always bring him something to try and he does grow fond of the spicy and sweet candies that come from the land of pyro, along with the adeptus that guards the nation.

It wasn't until you had been coming for about 4 months that the yaksha finally realized his feelings for you. It was during the Lantern Rite Festival-- everyone was coming together to celebrate the memories of those who had passed. The streets were bustling with life and joy-- a sight that he knew you would not want to miss

Currently, Xiao is walking around the streets, searching for you. You promised that you would be there to release a lantern with him.

"Where are they?" He ponders to himself as he watches festivalgoers walk past and interact with the merchants.

A sudden warmth fills his chest, startling him a bit. He looks up and sees you standing on the roof of one of the buildings, holding a lantern. You flash him a grin and leap off. Catch me if you can, your actions read. Xiao grunts and he leaps after you, not wasting time.

You two race across the city toward the harbor, jumping over congested roads and excited patrons. It's not long before you land at the edge of the dock, Xiao landing right behind you.

"You're a tad too slow, Alatus," you tease, turning to face the yaksha. He grunts, looking away.

"You had a head start."

"Is that what we're going with? The 'head start' excuse?" You laugh, and Xiao is reminded of the bells that ring as merchants push their carts down the streets, selling their wares. A familiar and welcoming sound.

"You already have a lantern," he comments, deciding the change the subject.

You look down at the object in your hand, the heat from the candle inside warming your palms. It was carefully crafted, with a fire-breathing dragon painted outside. The way the flames danced inside made it look like the dragon's fire was alive and moving.

His, on the other hand, had a large peng bird painted on the outside, its wings spread to wrap around lantern. As the fire danced, it gave off the illusion of the wings flapping.

"Shall we release them together?" You ask, and he nods, stepping closer to the edge of the harbor.

You both stand there, waiting for the people in the city to release their lanterns first. You enjoy the environment around you-- a cool sea breeze blows past and you can hear the soft creaking of the nearby boats. The waves crash against the harbor walls and if you listen really closely, you can hear the slow breathing of you and Xiao as you stare out to the sea.

"You confuse me," Xiao states, earning an amused look from you.

"Oh? How so?"

He swallows thickly, his gaze focused on the ground and his mind racing as he searches for the right words to say. How does he explain the unnatural feelings he's felt all this time.

"You leave me wanting to see you daily. The time spent away from you has me feeling more irritable than usual. When you are here, it's like my karmic debt doesn't exist and I am allowed to simply be," he starts, slowly looking up to meet your gaze.

"I find needless chatter about everyday occurrences needless, and yet every time you're near I wish to hear you speak more. My head hurts and my chest aches, but they pain me more when you're gone...How does that work? Is it an adeptus ability you have trained to weaken me?"

You stare at him, gaze unwavering. It's overwhelming-- it's suffocating. You don't react or respond right away, and it's making Xiao feel like you're tearing everything he said apart, piece by piece. Why won't you look away? Why do you keep staring at me with such firey passion? Why oh why do I still want you to look on, to only keep your eyes on me?

"Alatus."

He gasps at your sudden proximity and nearly stumbles back. Your voice is light-- if the wind blew harder he'd have an issue hearing what you have to say. The embers in your eyes burn brightly.

"Do you want to know what those feelings mean?"

Amber eyes stare back at you, revealing millions of thoughts scrolling by. You can feel his breath against your lips, and your heartbeats are like drums beating in synch. Time seems to slow down and it's just you two in the harbor. You both wait with bated breath for his response.

"Yes," he breathes out finally.

Your lantern is released, floating up into the sky to join the hundreds of others that spread across the starry night, and warmth spreads across Xiao's lips. You taste of jueyun chillis and sugary rice pudding, and it's all he can taste. All he can feel is your body against his and the inviting movements of your lips on his. He releases his lantern next and wraps his arms around your body, the firm grip a reminder of his desire to not let you go. Not yet at least.

Under the sea of golden light, you two share a lover's embrace. Duties are but a second thought-- the first being entirely devoted to each other.

Requests (both sfw and nsfw) are open~!

[thescarletwitchsapprentice]

Yandere Mom!Wanda trying to kidnap Reader from another universe, because she misses her baby pleaseeee

I love that!

Baby Mine (Yandere Mom!Wanda Maximoff x Reader) (Potential MoM spoilers ahead! Read at your own discretion!)

*Not my GIF

Summary: Wanda had long accepted that she wouldn't be able to get her children back, yet she refused to accept having no one to love.

You had long accepted that you would always be the outcast of your family, yet you refused to accept that there was no hope.

What happens when she spies you whilst viewing other universes?

(CW: Potential ableism, (I'd like to make it autistic and non-autistic inclusive if I can. It could be read as the reader being autistic, having severe trauma, or both because quite a few trauma symptoms overlap with some autism symptoms) self-harm, abuse, yelling, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of death, MoM spoilers, (sorry, I forgot to put this as a content warning, please don’t hate me am fragile nugget)

Author's Note: Someone wrote a reply to my "Wanda's your next door neighbor" imagine that they "totally haven't reread it a concerning amount of times." And it makes me realize just how many of us use fanfics to fill the voids in our lives....(fuck, now I'm tearing up) So while yandere fics aren't usually supposed to be a good thing, I think taking the reader from an abusive family to give them the love they deserve may be the exception.

I'm also bringing in another character or two.

“Baby mine, don't you cry Baby mine, dry your eyes Rest your head close to my heart Never to part, baby of mine.”

Wanda wakes up in her little cabin, alone as always. Her face is stained with tear tracks. Billy and Tommy had appeared in her dreams again, and while she missed them terribly, she'd given up her search.

"Know that they'll be loved..."

She knows.....yet it doesn't fill the hole in her heart.

After spending some more time in bed, she gets up and gets dressed before making herself some tea with her breakfast. Everyday just seems to drag on now that she's resigned herself to this fate. And yet, there's still this little spark of hope that she may find something or someone to love, someone that she won't lose.

With that little spark of hope, she goes about her day until she decides to use some magic to view other universes. It's not necessarily dream-walking, it's more like just being an observer without leaving the universe you're in.

For some time, she comes up empty-handed. But suddenly, she spies....someone.

===========

"Ah!"

You cry out as your mother confronts you with your report card.

"What is this?" she snaps, practically punching it with her finger.

You look to see that B+ in Science, sticking out of the sea of As like a sore thumb.

"It's....it's a B+," you say.

"Yeah, a B+."

"It's.....it's still passing...." you defend weakly.

"It's barely passing!" she snaps. "You're not applying yourself. You need to stop being so lazy and actually try for once in your life!"

"But....but I--"

"SHUT UP!"

You wince as her voice punches your ear drums.

"I didn't raise you to be a lazy brat! Are you even studying?"

"I-I am....but I still don't understand--"

"I don't want to hear your excuses."

She huffs.

"I give you a roof over your head, clothes to wear, food to eat, and all I ask is for you to do well in school and help out around the house. I don't think that's too much to ask, but how do you repay me? By sitting on your ass all day doing fuck-all! Do you know how hard I work to raise you all by myself?! And where were you?! You didn't come home on the normal bus!"

"I-I was staying back to get help for Science," you reply meekly.

"Liar!" Your mother snaps. "You were out with some punks, weren't you?"

"No! I wasn't, I promise."

"Likely story."

Suddenly your mother pinches down on your ear and yanks you up to your room.

"Ungrateful, useless brat! Stop that whimpering or else I'll give you something to cry about."

She drags you to your bedroom and pushes you inside to the ground before throwing your backpack at you as well, hitting you in the back. The textbook corner in your backpack hammers on your spine and you wince.

"Stay in here and study, you stupid bitch."

She loudly slams the door shut before you hear a click. She's locked you in. After a few minutes, you sit up weakly and sit on your floor. The tears fall silently as you bite down on your arm.

"Every day...." you squeak as you rock on the floor. "Every day I hope for someone to take me away from this hell hole....I don't know how much longer I can take this....someone....please help me...."

=======================

Wanda's heart breaks and the tears fall down her face at the sight of you. A poor, sweet child who wants to love and be loved only for that wretched woman to degrade and abuse you. She doesn't deserve you. In that moment, Wanda's mind is made up. But unfortunately you're in another universe.

She'll need to call in some back-up. And she knows just who to summon.

=======================

America Chavez has her eyes on a fellow sorceress in Kamar Taj, distracting her from her studies. Her heart flutters at the girl's smile, her stomach fills with butterflies at the song that is her laugh. And this is the first time she's actually felt a bit shy, something completely new to her. She's never been shy.

But today's the day she's gonna talk to her.

"Okay, America," she whispers to herself. "You can do this. Just go up to her and start a conversation. It's not that complicated."

She takes a deep breath before approaching her.

"Um, hey," she says, trying her damnedest to push down her nerves. "I....I've seen you in lessons before and, uh, I'm-I'm America Chavez."

The girl smiles at America.

"Oh yeah, I've seen you too. I'm Titania Phillips, like the fairy queen in A Midsummer Night's Dream."

The two of them just stand there for a bit in silence.

"Say something, America!" her mind snaps at her. "You can do this."

"So, uh," she begins. "Do you like.....stuff?"

Titania giggles.

"Yes, I do in fact like stuff. What sort of stuff are you referring to?"

"Girls?"

It just....bursts out of America's mouth, causing her cheeks to turn scarlet.

"Oh, you're lesbian too?" Titania asks. "I thought it was just me."

"Score!" America squeals internally as she nods. "Okay, now just ask her if she wants to eat lunch or something."

"Umm...." Titania says. "You can stop nodding."

America realizes that she's become a human bobble head and grasps the sides of her head to stop herself.

"Sorry," she chuckles. "So, um, you maybe wanna get lunch or some--?"

Her words are cut off by a grip on her mind. A few seconds later, she finds herself in an unfamiliar house. Something closes behind her and she turns around just in time to see a star-shaped portal close completely.

"Seriously?!" she exclaims.

"America."

A voice hits her ears, one she hasn't heard in a while. She turns to see the last person she'd expect to see.

"W-Wanda?!" she exclaims. "I-I thought you---."

The Scarlet Witch chuckles bitterly.

"You really think it’d happen so easily?"

America blinks a bit.

"What even happened?" she asks. "I was trying to talk to a girl in Kamar Taj."

"And how was that going for you?" Wanda asks, almost knowingly.

"....I was dorky as hell," the teen lesbian mumbles under her breath, glancing down at the floor.

Hearing this Wanda giggles.

"Don’t worry, you’ll get more confident around her. Maybe she'll even be your first kiss."

"Okay, pushing my love life aside, how and why did you bring me here?"

"I had to take control of you for a moment, make you summon a portal to me."

"You...you're not gonna....are you?" America begins to panic.

"No, I'm not," Wanda assures her. "I brought you here in desperate need of your assistance."

"With....what?"

Wanda takes a deep breath.

"Follow me."

She takes America to her universe-viewing room and conjures up what she saw earlier.

"I found a child."

"I thought you gave up on finding the twins."

"I have," she confirms. "But this one's different. Take a look."

She replays the footage and America feels her heart break.

"Holy shit...." she gasps. "What kind of monster treats a kid like that?!"

"Apparently that child's mother. They're in another universe, though. That's where you come in. I need you to make a portal to their universe."

"You're taking them from their family?!"

Wanda nods.

"It's for the best. No child deserves that sort of barbaric and cruel treatment."

Hearing this, the teen is torn. On one hand, she saw how you were being treated, but on the other hand, that's your family. And yet she heard you say how it's an every day occurrence. She can only imagine how little you have to hang onto.

With this thought in mind, she nods.

"Okay, I'll help you. When should we go get them?"

"When it's nighttime in their universe," Wanda answers. "I'll need for you to just wait around a few hours."

"But...Titania..." she whimpers.

"You can talk to her all you like when this is over. Now would you like me to make you some tea?"

"Um....I'm good, thanks." America shivers at the memory.

"I'm really gonna need therapy for that."

=========

It's now 12 am in your universe and your eyes are stinging from all of the studying, but you're so scared that your mother is gonna burst into the room and yell at you some more. And yet....you feel like that's what you deserve.

You hear your stomach grumble and feel the immense ache. You didn't get dinner that evening. How could you when your momster locked you in your own bedroom?

"What's the point?" you sigh as you throw down your textbook, not realizing how loud it is. "I'm never gonna be good enough....I should just sleep on it."

You put on some worn and scratchy PJs and get ready to tuck yourself in your uncomfortable bed when you hear the click of the lock. You begin to panic as the door slams open loudly.

"What are you doing?!" Your mother snaps. "I didn't tell you you could stop studying."

"I need sleep," you tell her.

"Don't you dare talk back to me!"

"But--"

"I said don't talk back!"

You put your hands over your ears and begin rocking, scrunching your eyes shut. Not a moment later, your hands are yanked away from your ears and pinned down.

"Don't you dare ignore me! Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you, you worthless mistake!"

Pinning down both hands with one, she raises her free hand, ready to smack you. You can't take this anymore and at that moment, you scream out in agony.

"SOMEBODY SAVE ME PLEASE!"

All of a sudden, your mom lets go of your hand and you hear her cry out before a loud bang reaches your ears. You open your eyes to see your mom on the floor with her back against the wall.

"Get your hands off of that child." A voice you don't recognize, one with an accent, growls at her.

Your mother is too stunned to speak. You look over to see a woman with red hair in a red and black outfit. Next to her is a girl with black hair wearing a denim jacket. The red-haired woman nods to the girl and the girl approaches you while the red-haired woman goes over to your mom.

"C'mon," she tells you. "We're here to get you out of here."

You're extremely hesitant, but the girl insists.

"We're not gonna hurt you, we promise."

All of a sudden, you hear your mother scream in fear. Looking over, you only just see her eyes glow red before she curls up in the fetal position in fear. The red-haired woman approaches you.

"It’s going to be alright, sweetie," she tells you. "We promise we won't hurt you."

You're still very hesitant and the red-haired woman sighs, as if she knew this was how you would react, but it's not in an impatient way. All of a sudden, a red wisp seems to emerge from her hand and enters through your ear. You see a brief flash of red before you fall asleep.

==============================

The first thing you notice when you come to is softness. Softness all around you.

Opening your eyes, you find yourself somewhere unfamiliar and you get a bit anxious.

"Hey, it's okay, sweetie."

You hear a gentle voice near you. Looking up, you see the red-haired woman sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. She’s now in casual clothes. You panic a bit.

"Please...don't hurt me..." you whimper.

"I would never hurt you," she assures you. "Never."

She reaches out her hand to you and you flinch.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” she says to you softly.

“Are....are you gonna hit me?” you stammer.

“Never,” she tells you. “I promise I will never hit you.”

You’re silent for a bit, tentatively taking ahold of her hand after several minutes. She gently rubs the back of yours with her thumb.

“Where....where am I?” you ask.

“You’re in my house,” she tells you.

“How did I get here?”

“It’s a long story.”

“And why am I here?”

You hear her sigh again. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimper.

“You have nothing to apologize for, sweetie,” she assures you. “It’s just, it’s difficult to explain without startling you. The important thing is that I brought you here because I heard your pleas to be taken away from that place. No child should ever be treated like that. You deserve love and kindness.”

“N-no I don’t.”

“....I know it’s difficult to believe considering how long the abuse has been happening for, but I promise it’s true. You deserve to be loved, and that’s why you’re here. I want to be your mother.”

You hear this and you’re in disbelief.

“H-huh? Is...is this a dream?” you ask.

She smiles softly.

“No, it’s not a dream. It’s very real, sweetie. I truly want to be your mother. I want to love you and take care of you.”

Your eyes begin to water.

“I....I don’t have to go back there, right?”

She shakes her head.

“No, never. This is your home now, you’ll always be loved here.”

You let a small squeak escape your throat and your lip quivers before you weep. You lean forward and hug your new mother.

“Thank you....” you cry, feeling a wave of relief. “Thank you....mom...”

It feels odd, and yet comforting, to say that.

She hugs you in return and rubs your back gently.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just let it out. It’s okay to cry,” she assures you. “I’m here. Mommy’s here.”

Her love for you grows the longer you two hug. It’s been so long since she’s had someone to care for, and now she has you. You’ve given her a reason to keep going, just by being with her. You truly are a sweet child, now her sweet child; so loving and kind and hopeful.

And Wanda wants nothing more than for you to stay that way.

See....what you don’t know is that you aren’t the only person/thing Wanda had America help retrieve. Unbeknownst to her, Wanda had her retrieve an extremely-powerful elixir; a single dose stops aging, assures complete immortality, and fully protects from all deadly diseases and injuries. She injected a dose into you while you were asleep before injecting herself with a dose. 

Not only that, but she’s also placed a barrier around the island. Just enough for you to explore, but not stray so far from her. On top of that, she’s placed an enchantment on America and made sure to disguise it, in case Strange and Wong notice something’s up; it’s to summon her back in case she needs something for you. She’s not going to take her powers, no, but she still wants to make sure that she has what she needs to take care of you.

Yes, you; her precious child.

She won’t let anything or anyone hurt you.

All you’ll know is love from now on.

And no one will ever take you away from her.

She’s made certain of that....

“From your head to your toes (Baby mine) You're so sweet, goodness knows (Baby mine) You are so precious to me Cute as can be Baby of mine Baby mine Baby mine.”

[thehollowwriter]

📚🔺🐉💚🍔🤒

All for Silas!

(Still not done sending these 😈)

I'm excited to see more!

📚 BOOKS — What level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Absolutely none. At all. Ever. At least not "formally" or "officially." He grew up in the Abyss, and there certainly aren't school down there.

Lady Rhoda taught him how to read, write and do math as well history and biology (sex ed at 20 something is better late than never,right?), but he already had steady income, so there was no need for trying "formal" education. He does research things on his own since he doesn't like not knowing things and having that used against him, though.

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — Does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Silas most certainly does! While he mainly uses magic as his weapon, he knows how to use spears, harpoons, knives, and probably swords if you give him one. I feel if guns could actually work under the sea, he'll be able to use one. Also, a fun fact from Silas: seaweed can, in fact, be used to strangle if you use it right.

🐉 DRAGON — What is your oc's favourite mythical creature?

I'd say Sirens from Greek Mythos. He finds them fascinating. It does annoy him that so many think these half bird half women creatures look like merpeople, including the mer people. It's probably the first thing he'll infodump about. Finn has heard his rants about the many misconceptions about Sirens hundreds of times.

🍔 HAMBURGER — Is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

Silas is good at cooking! Though he technically can't "cook" anything since they're underwater? But I like to imagine there are heated air vents on his property he can go to cook something, though usually it's just not worth the trip when there are many raw dishes like stuffed crab, seaweed wraps, etc that he can make.

Baking involves cooking in dry heat without exposure to flame, usually in an oven (hah! I learned that in Hospitality), so I guess he could do it in those air pockets and mini volcanoes? But it's far from house and not worth the trip, though maybe he will "bake" on special occasions. He likes it and is good it at it. He prefers cooking, though.

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — Does your oc get sick easily?

Okie angst time

Hah! Nope! He used to get sick a lot as a child, then (and kinda now too, actually...) he was just sickly because of how malnourished he was. His immune system is something else, truly, as he's been exposed to so many sicknesses and infections it'll leave doctors confounded. It's difficult for him to get sick. Well... though it wasn't necessarily an illness, he gave himself "refeeding syndrome" by trying to make up for what he was lacking when he finally had steady access to food.

Refeeding syndrome is when someone malnourished or starved suddenly begins eating again, and the quick introduction of foods can cause problems and even be fatal. This is why it's best to have the process of healing from starvation overseen by a qualified medical professionals.

Now Silas didn't trust doctors at the time, so he never went to one, but what he did do was simply go back to eating the same amount of food he used to so he didn't keep throwing up and getting sick. Morrigan eventually forced him to go to a hospital. (Silas was horrified when he learned what a feeding tube was)

Tagging: @distant-velleity @kitwasnothere @the-banana-0verlord @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @jovieinramshackle @skrimpyskimpy for Silas lore hehe

[twinsoftriumph]

Do you have any hc for the twins ? Regular or angst ones ?

oh man yes ABSOLUTELY. before i go on though a few Disclaimers. some of these have been alluded to in asks before so there might be a bit of repetition in that regard. and also some will be theory related and moreso going off the assumption that certain extra material is not necessarily Canon in game. also i go into more Individual headcanons later in the post. i won't go into EVERYTHING but this gets long regardless. headcanons below the cut!

concept art related stuff

i've probably brought this up at least 3 other times but it drives me a little crazy that in the concept art timeline, the TWINS are the ones present at the king's coronation ceremony. this pic sucks but it's the only one

this is the first thing that made me believe the twins would have sided with the king in the whole dark stone/light creature conflict

concept art says "The Twins used to lead ceremonial spectacle that honored the King's victories in the Dark Stone Era" which is self explanatory

it ALSO says "Amphitheater was original site of King's coronation" as well as stuff about being free from fire worship and using dark stone for defense.

another reason is valley itself being a city of entertainment even before we got dreams and performance. i'm not saying this was All there was to valley as it seems genuinely culturally rich, but it gives a very Bread And Circuses vibe (superficial distractions from serious problems)

not to mention valley having darkstone contraptions Everywhere.

and who better to lead this than two energetic entertaining athletes?

since they were labeled the "priestess" ancestor in concept art, i think that could very much relate back to the king coronation ceremony. i can see them holding religious ceremonies in the fire era or very important kingdom-wide events (and i'd go as far as to say the king's coronation is religious in its own way due to the godlike powers granted by darkstone)

but on a less dramatic note, i also like to imagine it meant they were in touch with the emotions of their people in valley, offering advice and listening to their troubles Like a priestess would

more personal hc stuff

of course i think there is a genuine significant degree of sibling rivalry, but i ALSO think they play it up for the entertainment aspect. everything in the public eye is a big performance to them

the Sibling Rivalry is a little more complicated than that though due to my belief that they split into two upon falling to the sky kingdom and at times have such insane synergy that you'd think they're the same person because in a way. they Are (i talked about this in an in-character ask once)

but anyway i think they are very smart and aware of how they present themselves to other people and of their influence

they know how to get people energized/riled up regardless of whether they're the ones competing or not. GREAT commentators who can project their voice and capture everyone's attention with incredible persuasion and dynamism

do i think they flirt with the crowd? yes.

due to them representing young adulthood, i think they have a lot of internal contradictions and conflicts that they have a hard time working through

they can absolutely be arrogant and Not in a fun way. they want to feel justified in their convictions especially when it comes to siding with the king so strongly. so basically they doubt themselves but if you doubt them you'll probably just piss them off

they feel their emotions strongly but also have an incredibly logical aspect to their emotions and will get irritated at themselves for "irrational" emotions

they care A Lot to the point of trying to distance and distract themselves from caring, especially when shit is going down in the dark stone era

they love the attention but very much value their time out of the spotlight and even away from each other.

i like imagining that valley has Fights For Entertainment (not like any sort of gladiator to-the-death thing). they'll fight each other once in a while for a crowd but their sparring in private is very different

i think they have petty squabbles over small things but private sparring is letting off steam and being open to genuine criticism. by which i mean they are there to stay sharp and help each other by pointing out weaknesses

there's no aspect of entertaining an audience but it still flows like a dance. it is, however, more... ruthless? no intentionally slipping up for drama or dragging things out or interacting with the crowd

the nicks/cracks in their masks are from each other. i also did an in-character ask for this (i hate how it turned out lmao) but i think the idea i prefer now is that they had an Incredibly rocky time orienting themselves as a split star and dealing with their identity. i dunno maybe they tried to kill each other at one point. just sibling things

at the end of the day they are ride or die

they have adhd. To Me. (<- has adhd)

individual headcanons

they have similarly androgynous voices but there are some distinctions which i am Not sure how to describe. i imagine sah to have a clearer voice that sounds more playful/teasing with a bit of an Edge. for mekh i imagine a more theatrical, regal quality with maybe a sort of... smoothness to it? (this part is especially influenced by how they carry themselves in their cutscene)

sah tends to skirt around what they mean, mekh is more blunt

mekh is slightly taller. don't bring this fact up around the twins

when it comes to theatrical productions, i think it's funny to imagine sah being invested in like. the romance and comedy like Oh my god they were roommates and for mekh to be like YEAHH RIP EACH OTHER'S HEADS OFF and very into the drama

sah roasts a mean dark crab

mekh goes to the counter and says They asked for no pickles (yes i already drew this yes im saying it again)

with other elders

i will quickly reiterate and elaborate on some stuff i've stated before

daleth: noble and gentle, always seems to understand the bigger picture. the twins clashed a lot with them in the dark stone era and treated them rather flippantly, which they regret later on as daleth gave them very important guidance when they were trying to figure out their identity. daleth eventually reached a point where they felt the twins were too out of reach amidst their glory, and interactions were resigned on daleth's part and curt on the twins'

ayin: always hopeful and kind towards the twins, but ultimately they could not truly understand each other. ayin wished to be closer to them and also helped them in designing the valley's architecture. again, with how close ayin was to the light creatures, the twins became rather standoffish and especially defensive in believing dark stone was absolutely necessary to the livelihood of their realm

teth: someone they could connect with emotionally. they had a quiet understanding of each other's feelings of self-contradiction, and teth was not one to demand conversation or vulnerability. teth was, however, someone who would not back down from an argument, so they were more prone to Heated Verbal Disagreements even if they were relatively friendlier. neither are sure they can trust the other's impulses

tsadi: trained with the twins and became protective over them at some point, maintaining a friendly and mutual relationship a decent way into the dark stone era. both feel a great deal of loyalty towards the king, believing themselves to be standing for the good of the ancestors. things eventually sour between them as conditions in now-wasteland degrade, but tsadi blames themself far more for everything that happened than literally any of the elders

lamed: very mixed feelings. lamed recognizes their sheer influence and skill but still finds them to be too impulsive. the twins really are not that shallow or oblivious to lamed's opinions, but lamed is the Genius of geniuses and can come off as condescending or above-it-all even without intending to. stiff in the face of lamed's occasional sentimentality

ok im just gonna. stop myself here because i think my brain is melting from Samekh Thoughts but um. if you made it this far congrats! i hope this was enjoyable to read!

[karlyboyyy]

It's Been Three Days

Summary: What I'd like to imagine took place in the days following the events of episode 10 - lots of Kazuki sadness, Rei trying his best, hugs and tears, and talking about feelings. Because we haven't really seen much bonding between the two of them in the show! Fic tags: KazuRei, Angst/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Comfort Wordcount: 5.5k Also on AO3! << It's my first ever post on there :D

-----------------------------

It’s such an odd thing to realize just how quickly you get accustomed to the orchestra of background noises that fill your home on a daily basis. The video game jingle that plays on a loop and gradually speeds up when the player is nearing the end of the race. The soft *ka-tak ka-tak ka-tak* of a kitchen knife chopping vegetables on a wooden cutting board. The rhythmic humming of the washer and dryer, constantly running to keep up with the laundry that seemingly never ends. The half-broken toy that plays that awfully annoying song from that popular children’s television series and doesn’t have an off button. The sweet laughter of a young girl who loves spending the day with her papas...

It’s been three days. Three days since that bittersweet family outing and that final ride on the Ferris wheel. Three days without that familiar orchestra of noises. And man, is that silence deafening.

Rei assumed he’d be able to adjust to the quiet atmosphere pretty easily. “I’m used to this, after all”, he thought, having lived in lonely solitude for years before Kazuki came barreling into his life. But even after Kazuki made himself at home in Rei’s apartment, the two of them hardly spent any actual time together, unless it was related to their work. Kazuki would sometimes attempt to start a conversation as he cooked dinner while Rei played his video games in the living room. But he was lucky if he got more than a few words and the occasional “hm” out of Rei, who would normally have his headset on and couldn’t be bothered to pay much attention to his surroundings. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. The two of them got along well enough to consider each other friends, and they each trusted one another completely. In their line of work, trusting your partner was essential. So, they were work partners and roommates. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course, that all changed after Kazuki brought Miri home…

The morning after that ride on the Ferris wheel, Rei woke up before Kazuki. This was odd because Rei could count on one hand the number of times he’s been awake before Kazuki. But that day, he didn’t think too deeply about it. He knew that Kazuki was hurting and figured that leaving him alone to work through his emotions was probably the best thing to do. Besides, Rei had no idea how to comfort Kazuki in this situation and feared that he’d only make things worse if he did or said the wrong thing. So he made himself a bowl of cereal, sat down in front of the tv, and turned on some random program, leaving Kazuki to sleep in a little later.

The show Rei had landed on happened to be one he was familiar with, having watched it with Miri every Saturday morning. “Heh. I should record this for her to watch later.” As he grabbed the remote to set up the recording, the reality of the situation came crashing back toward him like a tidal wave. How could he forget so easily? Miri was gone. Knots began to form in Rei’s stomach and he could feel the onset of a migraine. After deciding to turn off the tv, he tossed the remote onto the couch cushion farthest away from him, pushed his barely eaten bowl of cereal toward the middle of the table, and abruptly plopped his whole body down onto the couch. Lying there, staring at the blank tv screen, he thought to himself, “this… sucks,” before drifting back to sleep. When he awoke several hours later, he noticed that no lights had been turned on, no food was cooking, no laundry was being done… there was nothing but silence. Kazuki hadn’t left his room.

The next morning was pretty much the same. Rei awoke to a quiet house, and the door leading to Kazuki’s bedroom remained closed. “Is he actually in his room, or did he go somewhere without telling me?” Rei wondered. “But if that’s the case, he would’ve left a note like last time… right?” Rei checked the front entry area and saw that Kazuki’s shoes and coat were still there in the exact same spot they’d been left the day before last. “Still home…” Once again, Rei made a bowl of cereal for himself but decided to eat at the dining table this time, hoping to avoid a repeat of the tv incident from the day before. After finishing his meal, he booted up his game console but quickly removed the Morio Kart disc that was inside and replaced it with one of his old shooter games. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn’t played these types of games since Miri started living with them, fearing that the blood and violence would be too much for her to witness. “But I guess Miri did have actual first-hand experience with not one, but two gun fights. Hell, she probably would’ve thought this game looked fun. Maybe I should’ve played it with her…”

Around lunch time, the silence in the room was broken by the sound of Kazuki’s bedroom door finally being opened. Rei whipped his head around so quickly he could have sworn he felt something in his neck pop. But it wasn’t quick enough, as Kazuki had already shut himself in the bathroom. Rei felt like a creep as he stared at the door handle, waiting for it to turn and for Kazuki to emerge from the bathroom. When he finally did, Rei’s voice cracked as he called out, “H-hey. You hungry? I can order a pizza.” Kazuki paused for a moment, but didn’t look up, his gaze locked downward. “No thanks. I’m good.” Before Rei could say anything back, Kazuki was already back in his bedroom closing the door behind him. Rei spent the rest of the afternoon and evening alone. One would think that having a day alone to yourself in a quiet home would be relaxing, especially when your daily routine was typically consumed by chaos. But that was a far cry from this reality. For Rei, the silence weighed on him like he was being pulled further and further under water. It was suffocating, to say the least. He also began to feel incredibly anxious, because he knew that he wanted to comfort Kazuki in some way, but had no idea how to go about it. “I feel totally worthless…”

It was now day three, and Rei had had enough. “I can’t go back to how things were before… I just can’t.” He decided to try his hand at tackling some of the chores around the house. He thought that it would be really pathetic of him to expect Kazuki to continue taking care of everything for him now that Miri was gone. Sure, he’d always done so in the past, but things were different now. Rei realized that Kazuki was only ever truly happy when he had a family to take care of. But now that there was no longer a “family” here, Rei knew deep down that there was a very good possibility of Kazuki leaving. Would it be next month? Next week? Tomorrow? The uncertainty frightened Rei, but he refused to become the same useless mess he’d once been. Well… he had enough determination in this very moment to at least do a load of freaking laundry. Baby steps were better than no steps, right?

So Rei started off his cleaning crusade by sorting through the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor and picking up any stray articles from the living room on his way to the washer. After tossing everything in and latching the door shut, he stood there for a moment staring at all the buttons and knobs. “Why are there so many??” Kazuki had, on several occasions, shown Rei how to operate the machine, pointing out the various features and wash cycles, and showing him exactly how to measure out the soap. But did Rei remember any of that? Absolutely not. But he figured he couldn’t screw it up too much as long as he stuck with the “regular” cycle and only used a little bit of soap. Once everything was set, he hesitantly reached for the Start button and gently pressed it in. The machine came alive with that familiar sloshing sound that he’d so desperately missed these last few days. He relaxed his shoulders, let out a sigh of relief, and smiled to himself. “Nice.”

Suddenly, the soft clack of a door being opened echoed from down the hall. Rei peeked his head around the corner to see if he could catch a glimpse of Kazuki. But alas, he had just missed him yet again. Rei then heard the shower turning on and thought that he really would be a creep if he were to stare at the bathroom door waiting for Kazuki to come back out, like he did yesterday. So instead, he headed toward the living room to start picking up all of his garbage.

**********

Kazuki felt numb.

It’s been three days, and yet that feeling refused to subside. Kazuki struggled to pinpoint exactly what emotion he was feeling about this whole situation. Was he mad? Maybe a little. But when it came down to it, he knew that both Kyu-chan and Misaki were right. Allowing a five-year-old child live with two hitmen was dangerous, and he couldn’t come up with a valid justification to argue otherwise. At least, not one that wouldn’t make him sound like a selfish asshole. Was he sad? Sure. But again, he knew that Miri was safer this way. So how could he truly be sad about the fact that she was safe? He couldn’t. In fact, if he were being rational about the whole thing, he thought he should actually feel quite relieved. “Yeah right… I’m too greedy for that,” he thought. So he wasn’t mad, or sad, or relieved. He was just… numb.

Kazuki knew that it was pathetic of him to hole up inside his bedroom, but he couldn’t help himself. Coming home that night to the sight of toys strewn across the living room floor, child-sized dishes piled in the sink, the basket of pink flowery clothes that needed to be washed… all of it was just so overwhelming. Kazuki couldn’t bring himself to look at any of it, so he ended up going straight to bed that night. Over the next couple of days, he only came out to use the toilet or to grab a quick snack so that he wouldn’t make himself sick. But otherwise, he stayed in bed staring off into space. He felt sort of bad for ignoring Rei, but he knew that Rei struggled with expressing his empathy. Because of that, Kazuki was afraid that he’d end up snapping at Rei for no real reason or accidentally saying something hurtful that he didn’t really mean, knowing damn well that Rei wouldn’t know how to react and would most likely take it personally. So in order to avoid that tension all together, Kazuki chose to avoid Rei for the time being. “I hope he’s at least eating something other than cereal…”

By day three, Kazuki was starting to get sore from lying in bed for so long. “I should probably shower.” On his way to the bathroom, Kazuki could have sworn he heard the washer running. “But there’s no way… I’m not even sure Rei knows how to use the damn thing, even though I’ve shown him a million times.” Kazuki let out a soft chuckle as he turned the knob in the shower all the way to the right. There was a brief squeaking noise before the water started raining down from the shower head, and steam began to gradually build up in the enclosed space. Kazuki started to undress, removing the wrinkled clothes that he’d been wearing for three days straight. He glanced at the reflection of his naked body in the mirror, flinching at the sight. It was obvious that he hadn’t eaten a proper meal nor had he gotten any decent sleep in these last few days. He had dark circles under his puffy eyes, his hair was a greasy mess, and his face looked pale and ashen like a ghost. He was honestly quite grossed out by the state he was in, and felt sort of relieved that Rei hadn’t seen him earlier. After stepping into the shower and under the hot water, Kazuki felt his muscles immediately relax. He stood there unmoving for god knows how long, just letting the water pour over the top of his head and down his face.

Out of nowhere, Kazuki heard what sounded like a gentle knock, followed by silence. He wasn’t sure if he was hearing things or not, so he waited for a moment to see if another knock would come. Instead, he heard the *click* of the door being opened. “…Kazuki? Are you okay? You’ve been in here for a while…” Rei was so quiet that Kazuki could barely hear him over the running water. He pulled back the shower curtain slightly and poked his head out, ready to teasingly chastise Rei for coming into the bathroom while someone was in the shower. But the sight before him almost sent him into a fit of laughter. Rei had his head peeking around the door into the bathroom, but his eyes were tightly shut, scrunching his face. Kazuki thought it was actually quite adorable. “Yeah. I’ll be out in just a few minutes, alright?” he said, with a slight smile on his face that Rei couldn’t see. “Ah, okay then,” Rei said, as he quickly shut the door. Pffft! Kazuki didn’t realize in that moment, but that numb feeling was finally starting to ease, if ever so slightly.

**********

Kazuki walked out of the bathroom to find Rei vacuuming. Rei. Vacuuming. WHAT?! Kazuki was so stunned he nearly dropped the towel that he was rubbing his hair with. He stood there in awe, taking a look around the entire room. Not only was Rei vacuuming, but it looked like he did the dishes and picked up around house as well. “Ha! Maybe I really did hear the washer running this morning!” Rei hadn’t heard the bathroom door open, so when he finally noticed Kazuki standing next to the couch staring at him, he flinched and scrambled to find the power button on the vacuum. “H-hey! You’re out! You hungry? I’ve made something to eat if you’d like some.” Although he still spoke in his low, nearly monotone voice, Rei appeared to be a bit more flustered than Kazuki had ever remembered seeing him before. “Oh yeah? What’d’ya make?” Kazuki was impressed. Rei cleaned and cooked?? “Um… it’s just porridge. I found an easy recipe online. You haven’t eaten these past few days, so I thought maybe your stomach was upset. I figured porridge would be easiest to eat.” Rei felt a little embarrassed to be offering his measly porridge to a guy who practically lives in the kitchen. And let’s be honest, Kazuki doesn’t exactly hold any punches when it comes to critiquing food, so Rei’s worry was justified. Kazuki could tell Rei was nervous, and again had to hold back his laughter. “Why is he being so cute right now? It’s hilarious, but I can’t tease him too much or else he’d probably curl up in a ball and shut down.” Kazuki pulled out a chair at the dining table, sat down, and looked up at Rei with a grin. “I’d love some. Please and thank you!”

And so the two of them sat at the table, quietly eating the porridge that Rei made. Rei cleared his throat, having already decided that he’d had enough of the eerie silence that had been suffocating him over the past three days. “Hey… do you wanna hang out today? Like, together? We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. It’s just been really… boring.” Although Rei was definitely trying his best to communicate more with Kazuki, he wasn’t exactly ready to say that he felt lonely and anxious by himself. So he decided to play it off as boredom. Kazuki glanced up at Rei, and to his surprise, Rei was looking right back at him, their eyes locked together. “…Sure. Is there something in particular you wanna do?” Rei hesitated for a moment. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting Kazuki to say yes, and hadn’t really thought this far ahead. “Um… well, we can watch some movies. I guess? Oh but first, we should dry your hair. It’s still wet, and you’ll catch a cold. I’ll dry it for you, if you want.”

“Okay… who the hell is this person and what have they done with Rei?! It’s like the onigiri incident all over again…”

“Ah-haha, it’s okay. It’ll dry on its own. And it’s warm enough in here that I won’t get sick.” Kazuki was truly beside himself. He knew that Rei had started to step up more to take care of Miri. But he couldn’t think of any time before when Rei had offered to take care of him.

“Dude, just let me dry it. I used to do it all the time for Mi- uh… I mean. Well it’s not like you haven’t done the same for me before, so just shut up and let me do it, okay?” Rei scratched his head, annoyed with himself for almost bringing up Miri. He told himself just this morning that he would avoid saying her name in front of Kazuki at all costs, not wanting to upset him. But Kazuki wasn’t upset and could see how frustrated Rei looked. “Okay then. You can dry my hair.”

Rei sat on the couch, his legs far enough apart for Kazuki to sit on the floor between his feet. Kazuki held his knees close to his chest, his chin resting on top of them. The loud whirring of the hair dryer filled the air around them, as Rei ran his fingers through Kazuki’s soft hair. “Fluffy…” Rei absolutely kept that thought to himself, and could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“I can’t even remember the last time someone’s dried my hair. Maybe when Yuzuko and I first started dating?” Kazuki thought back on the memories of all those years ago and smiled. “But man, this does feel nice. And he’s being so gentle, it almost tickles. And this warmth… I could fall asleep.” A few moments later, the loud whirring ceased and Kazuki jolted in place, having truly almost fallen asleep. “All done,” Rei said in a soft voice. “Aw man, already? That was so relaxing!” Although Kazuki was only teasing, the words were true, nonetheless. “Um… I can brush your hair now, if you’d like? I don’t mind.” Although his words were nonchalant, Rei looked almost excited. And who was Kazuki to say no to that? “Okay.” Rei got up to find a hairbrush and returned in a flash to continue playing with Kazuki’s hair.

After a while, Kazuki was the first to break the silence. “Ya know, I really thought the three of us would be together forever.” He let out a soft chuckle before continuing. “How silly is that?” Rei paused for a moment, surprised by the topic of conversation. He didn’t think Kazuki was ready to talk about this yet. Before Kazuki could notice that his hands had stopped moving, Rei started running the brush through Kazuki’s hair once more.

“Like, I actually thought, ‘Hey! This is my second chance! I can build a life with these two, and we can be a real family. We can be happy.’ Why did I get my hopes up? I should’ve known this would all end eventually. I mean come on. Look at us. Two hitmen raising a child together? That’s some shit straight out of a manga. It could never actually work in the long run.” Kazuki closed his eyes and held his hand over his face, gently rubbing the furrowed skin between his eyebrows.

Rei was thankful that he was sitting behind Kazuki, and that Kazuki was unable to see his face in that moment. Because he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and could only imagine what sort of twisted expression his face was in.

“Hey, Kazuki?”

“Hm?”

“Are you… going to leave?”

“Leave? What do ya mean? Where’m I going?” Kazuki realized he sounded slightly exasperated and hoped that Rei didn’t pick up on it.

“I know… I know that you want a family. And now that Miri… now that it’s just the two of us, we aren’t really a family anymore, are we? So are you going to leave now?”

Kazuki could hear the slight hitch in Rei’s voice, and quickly turned around to face him. Rei’s eyebrows were contorted and his cheeks were flushed red. And his bottom lip trembled.

Kazuki panicked. “What?? What are you talking about? Why would I leave?”

“Because it’s not safe for you either! The organization… they’ve already made it very clear.”

“But that was just about Miri, right? It was about our work getting sloppy, yeah? But she’s safe with Misaki now. And we’ll just go back to how things used to be.” As much as it pained him to admit, Kazuki knew that the words coming out of his mouth were true.

“No! It wasn’t just about Miri… it’s more than that.” Rei paused and closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to level his breathing. He then looked directly at Kazuki with glistening eyes and spoke more softly. “Don’t you get it? I’m a Suwa. I’m expected to continue the Suwa family line, and to take over the family business. But I…” Rei closed his eyes again and shook his head. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to…” Rei could feel the hot tears welling up in his eyes and failed to keep them from breaking through.

“Then what do you want?” Kazuki said in a soft, low voice. He could tell that Rei was terrified and could feel the adrenaline coursing through his own veins, causing his hands to shake. The only word he could think of to describe this feeling was protective. It was almost as if he was prepared to single-handedly take down anyone and everyone who had caused the man in front of him to break down in tears. Because anyone who was able to cause this normally emotionless man this much pain… deserved to suffer.

“I just… I just want our family back. But I know that’s not possible right now, and it may never be possible again, no matter how much I miss Miri. And god, I miss her so much… But above all, I want her to be safe. So I know that she needs to stay with Misaki. And I also know that you’d be safer, too, if you left… if you got as far away from me as possible. But Kazuki… I can’t. I can’t lose you, too.” By now, Rei was no longer able to hold back the flood of tears rolling down his cheeks, and his breaths were coming in short, shallow bursts.

In the blink of an eye, Kazuki had gotten up, positioned himself next to Rei on the couch, and pulled him into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Kazuki’s left hand cradled the back of Rei’s head, while his right hand gently stroked the space between his shoulder blades.

“Rei. Listen to me. I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. You hear me? We ARE a family. Even if it’s just you and me. We can still be a family. Alright? So stop crying. Please, stop crying.” Kazuki tried with all his might to comfort Rei, but could feel that he himself was on the verge of breaking down.

“But… you deserve a real family, Kazuki. You deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve to be a papa. Because you’re such a good papa…” Rei buried his face in the crook of Kazuki’s neck, attempting to stifle the constant sniffling. He desperately grasped at Kazuki’s shirt, pulling it back so much that it was nearly choking Kazuki. But Kazuki didn’t say anything nor did he stop Rei.

“Rei, you deserve those things, too. You also deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve happiness.”

“But I AM with someone…!” Rei let the sentence trail off, surprised by the words that he’d nearly blurted out, and paused to catch his breath. “I was happy with our family. And I’m happy with you. I’d never known that feeling before, until I met you. And having Miri with us… made it so much more obvious. So I know I’m being selfish by asking you to stay with me. But I don’t want to give up any more of my happiness. I don’t want to go back to how things were before. I can’t go back. So Kazuki, please… I’ll try harder, I promise. I’ll clean more and I’ll learn how to cook and I won’t complain as much. And I’ll protect you. I’ll do anything to protect you. So please…” At this point Rei was sobbing so much that he began to ramble and his words were somewhat difficult to understand. But Kazuki continued to hold Rei in a tight embrace, gently stroking his hair to try and calm him down.

“Hey shhhh, I already said I’m staying, didn’t I? So try to calm down, okay? I’m not going anywhere. And hey, you did so good today with the chores! I was so impressed. And your porridge was delicious. Make it for me again sometime, will ya?”

Rei nodded, his face still pressed against Kazuki’s collar bone. “Yeah, okay.”

Kazuki slowly pulled away from Rei, holding both of his hands in his own between the two of them. “Have you calmed down a bit?” Rei nodded without saying anything. The tears finally stopped, but his face looked a mess. Kazuki reached his right hand up to gently rub Rei’s cheek. “Good. Ya know, I must say… you’ve been acting awfully cute today. I’m not used to it,” Kazuki said, letting out a small sigh of relief mixed with a faint laugh.

“Shut up!” Although he had meant to sound forceful with his words, Rei instead sounded like a whiny teenage girl, which made him feel even more embarrassed and caused a fresh wave of blood to rush back up to his cheeks. He then realized that his face probably looked absolutely ridiculous after his meltdown and attempted to wipe his eyes and turn his head away so that he was no longer facing Kazuki.  

But Kazuki only found this to be even more endearing, and immediately guided Rei’s face back to where he could see it more clearly. He then positioned his hand so that he cupped Rei’s chin in his palm, with his cheeks squished between Kazuki’s thumb and four fingers. “Heheh fish lips.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight and at the fact that Rei was even letting him mess with his face like this in the first place. Truly, he was not used to this side of Rei. But he was enjoying himself.

Kazuki’s laughter eventually trailed off, but he kept Rei’s face cupped in his hand, lightly squeezing his cheeks. Then the expression on his face softened as he continued to stare at Rei’s puckered mouth. After what was probably only thirty seconds, but felt like hours, Kazuki locked eyes with Rei. “Hw-hwat?” Rei stuttered, unable to enunciate due to the squished cheeks. He wondered how long Kazuki was going to hold his face like this and why he just kept staring. If he was being honest, he was starting to feel a bit uneasy. Rei had never really had anyone look at his face for this long or this closely before. He felt almost naked.

“Rei. Have you ever kissed anyone?” Kazuki maintained eye contact after asking the question, so he was able to see the exact moment the pupils in Rei’s deep blue eyes constricted to half their size.

“HUH??! What kind of question is that??” Rei flailed, yanking his face away and batting Kazuki’s hand down. “Seriously, what the hell??”, he thought to himself.

“Aww, come on. I’m just curious! You’re acting so adorable today, and I wondered if anyone else has ever seen you like this.” Kazuki already knew that Rei had probably never been in a real relationship before, so the words he spoke were only a joke. Still, he found himself slightly annoyed at the thought of someone else experiencing this side of Rei, but decided to keep that thought to himself.

“Why should I even tell you?” Rei continued to swat Kazuki away, but Kazuki was relentless.

“Hehe so I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“Ugh! Why do you even care??”

Quicker than Rei could stop him, Kazuki grabbed Rei’s face again, this time sandwiched between both of his hands. “Because. I do care. I care about you. And if we’re going to be a family, I want to know everything about you.”

Rei stopped resisting, and just stared back at Kazuki. “He looks so serious now…”

Kazuki’s gaze lowered slightly, and Rei realized just where he was looking. His mouth. Rei then noticed that Kazuki was slowly leaning closer toward him. “He’s not… ACTUALLY going to kiss me, is he?!” Rei didn’t know how to react, so all he could think to do was close his eyes and brace for impact.

Kazuki paused in his tracks and smiled to himself. Rei had his eyes tightly shut, reminding him of earlier that day in the bathroom. “He’s so funny.” Kazuki continued leaning in, closing his eyes and gently kissing Rei on the forehead.

Rei’s eyes shot open in surprise. A forehead kiss was NOT what he was anticipating, and he felt a little ashamed for expecting something different. But that feeling of shame melted away the moment he met Kazuki’s gaze once more and saw the slight shade of pink on the apples of his cheeks as he smiled a goofy grin. Rei couldn’t help but smile back and let out a soft, breathy laugh.

Kazuki carefully pulled his hands away from Rei’s face and stretched out his arms, taking a deep breath and letting out a loud sigh. “Haaaaahhh! So. Should we watch a movie now? Was there one you wanted to watch?” Kazuki leaned back into the couch, but not before pulling Rei to his side and wrapping his arm around him, his hand on Rei’s bicep. In this position, Rei was able to rest his head on Kazuki’s chest just under his arm, but he wasn’t sure where to put his hands. One arm was stuck behind Kazuki against the back cushion, so he didn’t really have a choice there. But the other was left out in front, hovering over Kazuki’s lower stomach. Rei hesitated for a moment, but finally thought, “Screw it,” and set his arm down so that it lay across Kazuki’s waist. After receiving no complaint from Kazuki about where his hand fell, Rei tightened his grip on Kazuki’s side ever so slightly and nestled even further into place. “He’s warm,” he thought. “This is nice…”

“Any movie is fine. Whatever you wanna watch.” Rei honestly didn’t care about the movie. He was just happy to be spending time with Kazuki. Happy to be pulled out of the suffocating silence.

“Hey, Rei?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you these last couple of days. It was nothing against you. So I hope you didn’t get too lonely.”

“…I was lonely. But it’s okay. I understood what you were feeling.”

“I might get like that again… I mean, I’m feeling a little better now. But it comes in waves. Ya know?”

“Yeah… I get it.”

“Then will you cuddle with me to make me feel better?” Kazuki said playfully.

“Yes.”

Kazuki only said that to tease Rei, so he wasn’t expecting him to respond so quickly or so matter-of-factly. But he found that Rei’s response made him insanely giddy. Kazuki tightened his hold on Rei, pulling him in even closer. “Good. That makes me happy.”

“…” Rei didn’t know how to respond, but knew that he, too, felt happy in that moment.

It’s been three days. And there was no telling how many more it would take before things finally started to feel normal again. Or maybe things would never feel normal again. Maybe there was a hell storm coming their way that they weren’t at all prepared for. These were all possibilities that they had to consider. But as they sat there embracing each other’s warmth, Kazuki and Rei both knew that they’d be okay, as long as they were together. If one was suffering, the other would be there to help pick up the pieces. If one was happy, the other would be there to celebrate in their joy. After all, isn’t that just what a family is?

[nanatsuyu]

hi I looove dashboard saints your characterization is so lovely <3 also was wondering your thoughts on Nora’s kandrew-adjacent tweet

Aaah thank you!! They're a lil rough and scrungly but I care them deeply ;;

And oh boi lmao that's a loaded question innit

I'll put under the read more in case people are trying to avoid anything new content wise!

So I saw a few of tweets and they weren't necessarily a surprise to me? Surprisingly lol

Kevin being the problem child wasn't out of my realm of thinking, but I'd never put it into those words. Though there is something to be said about her mentioning Kevin has a "homoerotic what are we" effect on people which like against also isn't a major surprise? (I'm thinking distinctly of that scene where he covers Neil's eyes because I don't know it was pivotal yes but also not the straightest thing I've read a man do.)

I am glad there was no elaboration like 'Andrew had unrequited feelings because of it' because honestly I think I would have had a meltdown if that was ever confirmed or something. Apollo do not grant me your gift of prophecy I need handled with kid gloves I am fragile.

But I mean in Most of my kandrew stuff with shipping goggles on, I always imagine Andrew being the one floundering a bit while Kevin is very blasé or unaware (or uncaring that he comes across that way). So for it to be canon, I'm like yeah alright.

The choking incident with Andrew not having and regrets also makes sense. That's a very Andrew way of considering it. (I have my own issue(1) with how that event went down but that's another story.) Kevin knowing Andrew would be mad also makes sense and it does really break my heart that he had already forgiven Andrew because he knew how he would react. Heartbreak in the 'oh god he knows Andrew so well' way. I've mentioned before that I always assumed from the moment Neil made him promise not to tell, that Kevin has resigned himself to his own grave, though. There was no way he was going to come out of that unscathed. I'm really just starry eyed over the fact that he knew it would happen and he wouldn't blame Andrew because he knew Andrew had fallen for Neil. Kevin holding onto all that remorse of not being able to do anything for Neil, to then be compounded with the knowledge that he would also be more or less playing a card in taking something away from Andrew? When Andrew had tried so valiantly to say he didn't care about anything or anyone? Kevin obviously knew that was a lie before Neil, but I imagine watching Andrew's feeling unfold for a person and knowing what was going to happen was gut wrenching. Kevin aka the boy with a heart of gold he's never been given the chance to really polish.

This all is completely, lovingly, amazingly, wonderfully rectified by the joy that is if andreil got married "Andrew would choose Kevin". Like I read that and my skin healed, my crops were watered, I never wanted for again. I dunno there was a part of me after reading that never felt a certain closure with their relationship (I mean sands the tattoo thing that helped and lives rent free) but I'd always kind of wondered if they ever got on after that. And apparently it was a no brainer if the option came up so I'm :')

This was long winded to say I'm happy to agree and incorporate these into my bank of knowledge but also please god no more angst for them I need to rest my weary heart

[huntingteeth]

I'll just start off by saying that cliffhanger at the end of 'i know how we got here' was CRUEL. Thank you for the delicious angst but it was cruel nonetheless 😭 I went to reread it in it's entirety just to take the whole thing in again and I just got to chapter 3 and holy? shit?? How?? Did you foreshadow so many things??? In one dream sequence???? Did you plan out all of these details beforehand? I'm honestly floored right now.

Hi, anon!!

I know, I know, it was really mean!! It had to be mean, though, to be worth it, I think. I will say, I think you're gonna be excited because I've been doing a kind of author's commentary in my drafts here on tumblr of each chapter of the fic that gets into a lot of the world building that didn't explicitly make it into the fic and why I wrote things in certain ways that I'm gonna release after the fic is completed (it's three different posts so far because I wrote so much hahahaha).

Thank you SO MUCH for reading and loving this story because I also love it a lot. To have such a lovely reception into a fandom with the first story I've written for it is truly such a gift.

But, to answer your question -- behind a cut just in case anyone wants to keep the magic alive:

I refer back to the fic a lot when I'm writing the new chapters, and I definitely work towards scenes I want to see in the fic - specifically Marc crawling out of the mirror. I knew very early on in the fic, maybe by like chapter three, that I wanted that scene to happen but it definitely transformed into what it is now from what I initially imagined it would look like.

I wouldn't say that I necessarily planned the foreshadowing but I do like to leave myself little pockets in the things I write that could be expanded upon if I chose to or maybe could be tied up neatly with a throwaway line -- for example, the sending stones that Sam gives III were originally going to play a larger part in the story but I couldn't quite make it work in a way that was logical and realistic (big words for a magical realism au), so I had III make a throwaway line about them being good for sending Sam his most unhinged thoughts.

I'm a big fan of parallelism in text so being able to have chapter eleven mirror chapter three in that way was exceedingly satisfying.

So no, I don't really plan things out, hahaha. I did have an outline document for like the first three chapters but that was written after I wrote the chapters so I don't think that really counts. I like the ends of my chapters to kind of push along an agenda or a goal of where I'd like to see the fic go, because I think it amps up the tone of the story and keeps the pacing good and, like I said, I like to work towards specific scenes, but I don't do a lot of pre-planning. My notes on this fic are extensive, however! There are so many comments on the Word document so I can keep everything mostly straight. I'm sure half the hits on the fic are just me trying to make sure that the new scenes line up with what's already happened in the fic.

I like figuring out as I go how things fit together, really, I guess. Does that take the magic away a little bit? Maybe, haha.

[sinkableruby]

hey talk about Monogatari ships

YAHOO <- said like mario

although i do want to say that i dont really do many ships either so my ideas may not be sparkling... nevertheless it is a fun ask and i want to do it

i will try to keep big spoilers out of it for once!

ill mostly leave aside canon i think

ships i like:

sodachi/tsubasa: this ones a shout out to you. but also. it is very good... i always think of that idea of them bonding over cooking. not only would they be good for each other with each able to provide the kind of support they'd both need, but i think they'd understand each other too. its good 😌

hitagi/ougi: i dont think i would like this one seriously but its just really funny to imagine. araragi crying in the background, ougi being so confused... its so fucking funny

hitagi/tsubasa: i know this one doesnt work bc like the whole point is that its unrequited and all... but i still think its cute. two best friends and they're gay for each other? that's wonderful. i love it.

koyomi/shinobu: weirdly i do like it. wouldnt say i necessarily like it more than the canon koyomi/hitagi but theres something i can appreciate about how theyre stuck immutably together, bonded forever... once koyomi gets older we dont know how his lifespans gonna work, so theres something there about being lonely and solitary in the world except for just one person who you'll always be with whether you like it or not. it's not exactly a sweet or romantic type thing but its more like a 'you're all i have' melancholy sort of thing.... and thats interesting to me

tsukihi/nadeko: the classic i love this one yeah. i dont even think it'd be a super healthy relationship given how tsukihi is.... tsukihi. but thinking about how nadeko has been pining over her for so long i think itd be interesting, especially considering tsukihi would definitely not be as infatuated with nadeko as nadeko would be with her. and nadeko would have to put up with so much for it... they'd probably break up like every other week because of tsukihi's fickleness, or like have whole periods where they dont talk and nadeko thinks theyve broken up or are fighting and tsukihis just being tsukihi. 'the things nadeko does for love' is basically how i think of it. maybe she'd be better off just moving on... poor nadeko. not very good luck when it comes to love...

suruga/higasa: ok i said i wouldnt talk about spoilers so i wont talk about this one much. but i think they'd be cute together. i like how higasa sees through suruga. i think itd be super cute if she was teasing her out of like a crush. they should kiss

also any like specialist/specialist stuff i'd probably like, just bc we get so little of those guys that its cool to play around with their dynamics. maybe like yozuru/tadatsuru for like a kinda rarepair rivalry dynamic... i could see them as a divorced couple maybe. but really just. any of them. hell maybe theyre even a polycule who knows.

and also rouka/suruga is good but i dont really have any thoughts on it per se, i just like it a lot. its complex... its bittersweet... ya feel

ships i dont like:

koyomi/tsubasa: yeah p much everyone's talked about why this would never work. i might almost like it for like, the angst it would bring but i think it doesnt quite reach there either so its just meh.

koyomi/ougi: m..m... dont like it.. dont like it. i think their relationship is so much more interesting the way it already is so i dont really feel the need to see them in a romantic one yk. i dont think it would be good for either of them either... they will just stagnate if they stick around each other. and also this is like maybe not so applicable bc anything is possible in the ship world but. these two just would never. they dont see each other like that yk. if im looking from an analysis lens here, the camera which is mostly under koyomi's perspective that licks and slobbers over all the girls never does that for ougi. despite him thinking shes like "bewitching" (appearance wise but also probably in the other sense too lol) or w/e. i could write more about this and the harm i think it would do but it'd get spoilery and become a dissertation so ill leave it at this. ummm... dont like it. :p

deishuu/hitagi: ok i see people talking about this one a lot so i just have to put my foot down.. i think its meh. i think its whatever. i think kaiki is not and was not interested in her, and just saw her as a brat who was infatuated with him. and while i do think its possible or maybe even probable that hitagi was infatuated with him while he was scamming her bc she saw him as a savior... i dont think the infatuation would have been that strong. maybe just a little crush, but nothing serious. i wouldnt go so far as to call it love yk, if those feelings were there... and on the idea of that 'if,' i also think its way more interesting if kaiki only THINKS hitagi was infatuated with him when really she never was because it shows the flaw in his perception. like thats the kinda perspective cool thing i like in the monogatari series... thats why i like how its so vague in canon too. the ambiguity makes this dynamic interesting imo

suruga/karen: kind of dont have strong feelings about this one but i cant really see it. i dont think they'd be the right dynamic for each other and it'd become awkward...

ok thats all i can think of for now thanks for sending the ask >:3

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Swiftli? Grant/Marco? Mercedes/Carol? Autumn Oak/Linda Stampler? (spreading my own propaganda <3)

For the ship ask thing :)

Also sorry that it’s kinda a lot lmao

Hiya!!! Hehe very interesting choices, love this, let's get to it!

Swiftli: COMFORT SHIP ALERT!!!

So, okay, the thing about this ship is that it's not my default ship for Linc or even necessarily Taylor? But that's not to say I'm conflicted, no, I really like these two together!

*Romantically* I think it kinda took me a while to feel the appeal of this ship? But then like... One night on a whim I found myself making a really silly playlist for them and... That made me understand it? At least what it is for me. This and, @raemeh (iirc) made a post about their first kiss being a surprisingly good one and- gee idk that made me go 😳 as well hahaha.

And yeah! Like I said this is absolutely a comfort ship for me, they're very silly and cute together, love to rotate them around in my head, might even write them at some point who knows!

Marco/Grant: OUGH THE CUTIE PATOOTIES OH MY GOSH I'M PUTTING THEM TOGETHER IN A LITTLE JAR AND SHAKING THEM AROUND AND THEN UH GIVING THEM SOME PRIVACY EHEHEH

At the start of S2 I think it's fair to say that of all the kiddads I was probably most curious to see what kind of person Grant ultimately got with, I suppose probably because relationship troubles are such a big thing for him in S1! And I just want the best for him honestly ahaaa

😫 And I wasn't disappointed! Marco is so sweet and they're so cute together and eghhsibgosesg-

Er, despite this I'd actually like to see some angst/conflict between them? Grant has a lot of explaining to do tbh, and I sorta don't want everything he's hid and lied about to go without consequences from Marco... But of course I'd want them to work everything out in the end! I think that would make me love them even more tbh.

In general I really just want more of these two in canon! They need to kiss... Otherwise, y'know in general I have a good chunk of ships for Grant but... Ultimately so long as Marco exists in the same universe, I tend to imagine them getting together in the long run.

Mercedes/Carol: Oooh interesting! Not a ship I've thought too much about tbh, but I could get behind it! I think my main hang-up if anything is that usually when I imagine ships with either Henry or Mercedes, either one of them doesn't exist in that universe or they never met, or it's a poly thing! In this case, I'd probably like this best if Hen and Mercedes have an open-relationship sorta deal (I mean they sorta canonically do?) and these two get involved with each other within that context. 🤔 Could also get behind a 4-way poly scenario with Darryl as well, but that's not a necessity by any means!

:0 I like the idea of Carol getting to experiment and maybe learning more about her sexuality and the like the way Darryl sort of got to in S1, and Mercedes would be a lovely person to see that happen with! Yeah, they'd be cute together I think!

Autumn/Linda (Ron's mom!): I'm so fascinated by this ship??? Also love that we've just established Linda's name haha good for her good for her.

You'll have to tell me more about how you see this ship before I come to any concrete feelings about it tbh! Still, I like the premise I mean, I guess they'd actually have a bunch going for them? On its own I love the idea of the omega daddies being divorced af and their exes getting together haha it's what they deserve. But yeah they could genuinely be quite good for each other! I imagine Linda must be pretty good at dealing with people with anger issues, she'd probably have the patience to be there for Autumn in a way that matters and help her work through some things. And Autumn is an underrated catch tbh haha- :o also a very powerful druid who could possibly help Linda with her chronic illness??? The fact that she had a bit of a thing for Ron also makes her getting with his mom pretty funny to me.

Yeah idk, like I said I'm fascinated, feel free to ramble about them!!!

OKAY hehe, thanks for the ask!!!! 💜

[let-me-take-your-soul]

Hallo!! You have requests open, right? If you still do, here's one for you to tackle if you'd like. Kid is, essentially, the physical manifestation of death, right? So I'd like to imagine he just. Doesn't breathe. Or doesn't have to, and only does so to calm himself down or something. He also doesn't give off body heat and doesn't thermoregulate, and his BPM is like, 30 on average. So in a friend outing with the others, maybe just going into how he feels lonely? Like, he's surrounded by friends, but they don't really know how it feels to be HIM. AKA, an excuse for him to hug his dad and ask for comfort :)

Yessss!! I had to reach back into my own feelings that I used to have in regards to slight social paranoia for this lol

I think it worked pretty well for the theme we've got here!

DTK feeling isolated from his friends

CW for angst and paranoid thoughts

He never fully realized just how cold he was to others. Not necessarily in an emotional way (though he was aware of that too), but physically, Kid’s body was much colder than his friends. 

It was no secret who his father was, everyone knew the second he enrolled at the academy that Lord Death was his father. It just never occurred to Kid exactly how different this made him in comparison to his friends- to humans.

Even when Liz and Patty made comments to him about how cold his hands were when they were in weapon form, Kid never really made the connection that it was so abnormal. It wasn’t until Black*Star made a comment after a high five that his differences really became apparent to him.

“Yo, Kid, your hands are freezing!”

Black*Star’s comment led to all of his friends making claims of “I’m sure he’s not that cold” and then immediately taking it back after they grabbed his hand to confirm.

“Oh my god, Kid! You feel like a corpse!” Maka exclaimed.

“I can’t imagine being so cold all the time. Is that a Shinigami thing? What else is different about Shinigamis?” Soul had asked.

"Ah, well… my pulse is lower than most. I'm sure that contributes to my unusually cold body. My average heart rate is about 30 bpm"

"30?! That's crazy!"

His friends poked and prodded at him with questions, and though he knew it wasn't their intention, it started to bother him. Eventually the group moved on to a different subject, but Kid couldn't bring himself to contribute much anymore. He was overcome with a deep feeling of loneliness that he couldn't seem to shake. 

  "They can't truly connect with me. If my body exists in such a different way than theirs, how different is the way I experience friendships? Do I do too little to show them I care for them? Am I too overbearing? Maybe they’re just too afraid to treat me poorly and the time we’ve spent together is just a joke to them” Kid thought to himself.

The sudden barrage of negative thoughts concerned him and he took a deep breath to ground himself. He avoided telling his friends that breathing was something else almost unnecessary for him. Kid fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat as he watched his self-proclaimed friends laugh and banter with each other.

“Pardon me, but I have some business to attend to with my father. Thank you for inviting me today” Kid excused himself.

He stood up as the group sent him off with polite goodbyes and Kid made his way home, making a beeline to his father’s office.

.

.

.

Kid wasn’t one to be timid, but talking to his father about any blow to his own self esteem was still a hard topic to discuss. He reached out and quietly knocked on the office door in front of him, partially hoping there wouldn’t be an answer even though the rest of his brain knew that an answer was everything he needed.

“Heyo howdy! Come on in, Kiddo!” 

Kid smiled at the cheery voice of his dad and walked into the office, starting to feel at ease almost instantly. He sat down in a large plush chair, slumping into more than he thought he would.

“Oh my, you seem rather serious right now. Did something happen?” Lord Death’s tone immediately softened. 

“It was a bit of a rough day” Kid said, “I got a swift reminder of how different I am from the humans you want me around and there’s no way to describe it other than ‘it sucked’,”

Lord Death listens intently, nodding along as Kid relays the experience of his friend's questions and that harsh feeling of isolation with each major difference he shared with them.

“I don’t know if being around humans is a good idea for me, father. They’ll just stress themselves if they keep acting like I’m their friend”

“Oh but Kid, they are your friends!” His father looked rather surprised at this comment, “Why would you think that they aren’t your friends?”

“There’s clearly something off about me. I haven’t found out what it is yet that clues them in to how inhuman I am, but there’s no way they have me around for any reason but pity” Kid huffs.

“Did you hear one of them say that about you?” his father asks.

“Well… no.”

Kid stays quiet, trying to remember everything he’s heard his friends say about him, but nothing negative ever comes to mind.

“You know Kiddo, it can be hard to trust the relationships you’ve built with others. That’s actually a very human experience”

Kid perks up.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“There are so many people who are constantly scared that the people who care most about them stay around out of pity or any other number of reasons. This is a common thought rooted in anxiety. It’s almost never true though. People are usually pretty obvious when they don’t actually like someone. It can still be scary though, right?”

“Incredibly,”

“Here’s a piece of advice for you, then: try to take it at face value,”

Kid squints at his father, urging him to elaborate.

“Not everything is as complicated as people may think. Most of the time, a compliment is just a compliment, an invite is just an invite, and a friendship is friendship, not an ulterior motive. When your thoughts overwhelm you with ‘what ifs’ and thoughts that everything is a lie, you can fight back against those thoughts. Remind yourself that people like to say what they mean, and if they don’t say what they mean, then it is not a problem within yourself, but a conflict between your own morals and theirs. It’s also good to remind yourself that even if there’s a conflict between your morals, that it doesn’t mean there are not people who share your values. Humanity is vast, and if one person isn’t a fit for you, that doesn’t mean the next person who comes along won’t be!”

Kid listens intently, letting his fathers words sink in. He takes another deep breath, then stands up.

“You’re right, father. Thank you for listening. I do think that the friends I’ve made are good ones and that I was looking deeper into a situation that didn’t mean more than curiosity.”

“I’m always here to help, Kiddo,”

Kid turns to leave, feeling lighter than before, but is stopped by a small “wait!” from his dad. He turns back around to see his dad’s large hands outstretched and Kid holds back a small laugh at how childish his father looked.

He walks back to Lord Death and hugs him, happy that the two of them seem to be growing closer than before. This is what Kid had imagined it must truly feel like between a human child and their father too. He hugs his dad just a bit tighter, deciding that he would start noting what does make him similar to humans rather than what isolates him.

[truly-morgan]

[Song lyrics, past relationship, angst]

ChengXian | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 22-10-2021

[past relationship #chengxian, angst 🔪]

So I listen to colors by hasley on my way back from work and I couldn't stop thinking "Oh, this could be good for some angsty pas-relationship chengxian 👁️👄👁️"

"You were red and you liked me 'cause I was blue But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky And you decided purple just wasn't for you"

like come on don't tell me this couldn't work if we play a bit with colour.

and lwj is blue now //

"You're dripping like a saturated sunrise You're spilling like an overflowing sink You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece And now you're tearing through the pages and the ink"

describing how wwx is from jc perspective I think it works well//

(Yes am sure am mixing up "who" the paragraphs are supposed to describe, but let me have fun okay!)

"Everything is blue His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors Pulled apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue"

I'd make this about jc, probably all think blue that could relate. Maybe teenager jc even//

"Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means And he's blue And he's blue"

now, this could be jc when they are a bit older, maybe in college forcing himself into a path he does not want.//

"You were a vision in the morning When the light came through I know I've only felt religion when I've lied with you You said you'll never be forgiven 'til your boys are too And I'm still waking every morning but it's not with you"

jc thinking back to when they were younger and maybe still living together in the same room. Then future arrives and wwx is no longer by his side.//

"Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so You said your mother only smiled on her TV show You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old"

I also like this one, although I feel like I'd tweak it a bit for it to work.

"[] never tells you but he loves you so" maybe jyl, as loving as she can act, she doesn't necessarily make it clear and in times of doubt jc needs this clarity.

"you said your mother only smiled on her tv show"

I'd make this about jfm honestly, how he only act like a father when he's in front of other people but is otherwise not like that. Maybe a tired yzy who doesn't smile as much anymore unless its to keep the image.

"you're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope"

I was gonna change the ending, ut you know what? stressed out jc who need an outlet and hangs out with nhs would probably try it and keep doing it if it makes him feel better

"I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old"

jc talking to himself. jc not believe he'll actually survive 'til he's 28 because unresolved mental health issues are fun 👍 (/s)

I basically changed the whole start of the song great jbdsuhvbsd//

but just imagine, jc and wwx growing up together and jc ends up falling for him, turning purple (and maybe where everything spirals down too). but with these changes, its makes wwx slowly turn around to find someone else whose blue

please don't analyse what my sleep-deprived brain comes up with, I just thought it could be an interesting idea if we take the colour thing literally.

(but if we work with the music video then maybe I can turn this into some ruocheng or rencheng!! I don't know much about what the fuck the song is supposed to be about and am going very surface level right now, let me imagine sad jc for once I too can have a turn to the table sometimes )

Original

[strawberrisoulmate]

✍️🌦️💞☕️💘 for your ace attorney insert!! <3

wahhh yay, thank you!!! I've been on an ace attorney kick lately, so I'd be happy to talk more about my insert!! ♡

✍️: Overall, how does the fandom treat you? Are you a beloved character, or hated? Are you popular, or a minor side character? Anything in between?

I feel like my insert would be pretty looked-over in the grand scheme of things, honestly. She wouldn't be a major main character like Phoenix or Maya or Edgeworth, and would only show up as the defendant in one case and a witness in another. Some people might dislike her, for whatever reasons (I can also see her being compared to someone like Maggey a lot), but I think the general consensus would be fairly neutral.

🌦️: Would you be accompanied by mostly fluff or angst fanfics? Both? Explain why.

Hmmm, I suppose that depends. I think there'd be a lot of angst surrounding my insert's relationship with Godot and how she fits into his narrative (initially reminding him of Dahlia/prosecuting her trial despite her being innocent/him later being convicted guilty of his own crime and being imprisoned for it/etc). But I think whatever angst that would come out of our ship would be accompanied by a lot of comfort fics. I think our main genres in the fandom would be "angst with a happy ending" and "hurt/comfort".

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?

I really can't imagine her being shipped with anyone else, tbh. Not necessarily because I'm only interested in Godot, but because I don't think she'd be a major enough character to warrant shipping her with anyone else. There might be a couple rarepairs and crack-ships out there involving slightly-related characters like Mia or Dahlia (or maybe even Larry if you take into consideration his role in Bridge to Turnabout, but that's a stretch imo), but I don't think there'd be anything outside of shipping her with Godot.

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

Post-canon coffee shop AUs, for sure. I have it established in my canon that we do open up a coffee shop together a while after Godot is released from prison and makes a small cameo later down the line (probably in one of the Apollo Justice games tbh), so I can imagine a lot of fics centering around that. Also, I'm sure a lot of fics would probably dive deeper into the time period where Godot is still in prison that would otherwise be offscreen.

💘: Why would people love your ship? Why would people dislike your ship? How might it start debates?

Oh, the Mia vs Hannah debates would be horrendous, I can already tell. There would be a lot of people who would really hate our ship because 1) my self insert is pretty vastly different from Mia and therefore doesn't "suit his type" and 2) because showing Godot actively moving on from his previous relationship and finding someone new after Mia's death would make a ton of people mad.

I do imagine that there would be people who really like our ship, however, because having Godot move forward with his life and find someone new to love is a pretty blatant display of his character growth and shows that he is finally learning to not cling so desperately to a past he can't change and instead start creating a new future for himself. It's what Mia would have wanted for him — to move forward and be happy — and it makes me glad to think that some people would recognize that and want that for him as well.

[genderqueer-karma]

so, i got to thinking about my life + the headcanons i have about the vk family. i have one i'd like to share with you (safe)

let me preface this by saying that i'm not physically disabled, but i have had issues with my legs for as long as i've been able to walk (so basically my entire life) which has led me to limp when i walk. more recently, i've experienced pain in my legs more frequently than i used to, and it got me thinking that i might need some type of mobility aid in the future. of course, i don't necessarily want that to happen, but if it does, i won't cry over it (probably).

***

anyway, that got me thinking.

a lot of people believe that manfred began to use his cane after some injury, or they believe that he just has it for vanity's sake. i personally don't see either of those making sense (though if you do, that's totally cool! i'm not the authority on any characters, especially not him).

personally, i feel as though if he had the cane as a walking stick purely to show off his wealth, he would've gone for something a bit more... ornate? it's not as though my guy's a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination; if he does something, it's big and dramatic, which is all well and good. cheers.

as for the injury headcanon, i honestly can't say i personally see it. it does make a lot of sense, but i feel like canon somewhat restricts this from being possible? since he never took vacation days besides after dl-6 (and probably rarely took days off for injury or illness. the only times i imagine he took days off were the births of his children, and legally he basically would have had to with leave and all that).

getting injured, especially the most common way i see people hc that he would've gotten injured, from an accident while riding horseback, would definitely be something that doesn't particularly fit with his characterization, imo, considering that he would most likely take as many safety precautions as humanly possible to avoid getting hurt. (in my mind, he's actually quite anxious and just a generally neurotic person and as a result tends to consistently think worst-case scenario, leading to him over-preparing for just about everything.)

so what exactly is my headcanon?

**

i believe his cane usage was the product of hereditary chronic pain.

in my mind, the vks all kind of have this chronic hip and leg pain that starts manifesting as young as 20 or so and really kicks in around the mid 30s to early 40s. ultimately, this pain requires the use of mobility aids or (worst-case scenario) surgeries that may not actually be effective. of course, i don't actually know much about surgeries, so i am taking a small liberty with this aspect, but nevertheless:

in manfred's case, i think the chronic pain kicks in when he's about 38, and it absolutely wrecks him for the the first six months or so. he rarely goes anywhere other than work (sometimes church, which i also have other hcs about. maybe i'll post about those one day.) and home. he spends a lot of time sitting and debating with himself on whether or not he wants surgery, ultimately to decide that he doesn't because the success rate is too low for his tastes (perfectionism) and recovery time is awful.

because he has to use the cane for the rest of his life, he experiences a lot of internalized ableism. this leads him to do many things that were unsafe for him, and generally caused more angst than anything he might've thought it "solved".

for example (and i'm aware this is a movie specific thing), after being caught for his crimes in dl-6 and after his meltdown, instead of using his cane to walk out of the courtroom, which probably would have been more comfortable and more safe, he walks without it, opting instead to carry it: "maintaining his dignity", so to speak.

***

of course, with this problem being genetic and passed down from generation, his biological kids (for the most part) are affected by it. since only franziska is named in the series, i'll focus primarily on how this affects her. (i debated making this section a separate post, but honestly, fuck it)

as we know, franziska basically disappears from the aa series after aa3/aai2. (capcom please let her out of the basement... that's my daughter and i miss her) this plays perfectly into my headcanon, actually. since we get no information about her whereabouts beyond a very basic "she works with interpol and stuff", i can't help but feel that explanation is incomplete.

so, that also made me think: what if she was affected a bit earlier than most? earlier in this post i mentioned that the chronic pain can manifest as young as 20 years old... which happens to be around the age she is when she all but vanishes from the narrative. basically, i think that the pain, which she inherited from her father, caught up to her.

now, there are other implications to this. after deliberating with a mutual and friend of mine, @bucket-of-hyperfixations i concluded that she would most likely want/prefer to use traditional crutches. (i did also consider that she might use a wheelchair, but then i thought about how wheelchair users are treated and thought hard about how that'd be a no-go)

this is what i ultimately landed on mostly because considering her character and the distance she wants to create from her father (using a cane would probably remind her as well as other people of him, which was a huge thing that she railed against, especially in the third game), as well as the fact that she would most likely want to maintain the freedom to use her arms so she could use her whip, which forearm crutches, another option i considered for her, wouldn't provide.

***

of course, there's a lot more i could add to this, but i think that this is enough for now. i personally like talking about the vk family and making up headcanons about them, considering how little information we actually get in canon. that being said, i accept criticisms of my headcanon and don't think that other interpretations of what we are presented with are inherently wrong, even if i sometimes disagree with them.