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coepiteamare · 3 years

Text

you have (1) new voicemail

pairing: jimin x reader (though what their relationship is is unclear) genre: mystery, angst (? as always), fluff (like a wee bit), epistolary fic! warning: mentions of a ballet accident (nothing detailed, just that something happened), jimin is missing, implied!depression beta reader: hana! @cutechim this story would not have happened without you and i absolutely adore you. also thank you to noor @papillonsgf because you were the first person i talked to about this story and uhhhhh well let’s just say this story may be different than what you were expecting word count: 4.9k (this used to be drabble series lmao)

things you said series: things you said through the phone summary: “Hi, Jimin. It’s me.” (alt. you leave voicemails for jimin when taehyung asks you if you’ve heard from him recently.)

A/N: this is all dialogue, which is ironic—to say the least—because i find dialogue painfully difficult to write (it doesn’t come naturally to me, it conflicts with my writing style, and it’s just difficult to write it in a way that feels real.) nonetheless, i hope it comes across the way i wanted it to, and i hope it makes you feel something.

December 5th at 14:30

Hi, Jimin. It’s me.

I know we haven’t talked in a while, but-uhm-I saw Taehyung a couple days ago? I happened to be near where that cafe is—what’s it called—Moodspresso! Do you remember it? We wanted to go when it was new, back when you were taking that coffee-making class with Yoongi. You were such a dork: you wanted to go all around the city to judge cafes by their espressos, even though you weren’t a fan of the bitterness.

We never did get around to trying it together: I think we tried to make plans, but it was out of the way of where we were, and then life happened, and then, well...it happened.

When I saw it, it felt strange, as if a fragment of my past found its way into my present? It was kind of funny how I went in there thinking about you, only to see Taehyung. Weirdly fitting, considering how the two of you were always together, joined at the hip in college.

Anyway, he asked me if I had heard from you recently? Told me you haven’t texted him in a while, that you weren’t answering your phone, so I just wanted to check in! You know, say hi! I—uhm—tried to text you, but it wouldn’t deliver, so I figured I would just leave a voice message. I hope that’s okay. I hope you’re doing okay. If you hear this, you should probably text Taehyung; it seems like he’s worried. Said you usually respond within the day, but you haven’t been lately.

I-uhm-hope you’re doing okay. Text me back and let me know?

Bye, Jimin.

*beep*

December 12th at 15:21

Uh, hey Jimin. I didn’t hear from you, so I thought I would check back in.

I saw on facebook that Jeongguk’s dating. Isn’t that strange? I mean, it’s not strange that he’s dating; it’s just strange that it’s Jeongguk who’s dating. You know, our Jeonggukkie, the one who could barely talk to his crushes without getting tongue tied.

It seems like not too long ago he was the scrawny high schooler stressing about college applications, but he’s dating now. We used to help him with his personal statements and here he is. Dating. That’s just—wow. Time flies, I guess.

I don’t know if you’ve kept in touch with him lately, so i just wanted to let you know. You know, in case you didn’t see it.

I-

This is so stupid; I’m so sorry.

Uhm, let me know if you get this?

Bye, Jimin.

*beep*

December 14th at 19:42

I went to the bookstore today and I saw that your favourite manga released its final volume. That’s so...wild.

I remember you were reading it when I first met you in high school and to think that it’s over? That’s like Supernatural coming to an end, you know? Something that has gone on for so long that it feels weird that it’s ending. That it’s no longer a part of our lives that grows with us. It’s something that has an ending.

Speaking of endings, I don’t know if you’ve seen the ending of Supernatural, but don’t do it. It just-wow.

Anyways, I haven’t kept up with the manga, but when I saw that they released the final volume, I felt the need to buy it? I went in to buy something else and came out with all of the volumes that I hadn’t read.

I could have just read them online, I know, but I figured, if I see you again, I'd give you the final volume? Unless you already have it. Then I’d just keep it, but...you know. I just-

It made me think of you. How you transferred in late in the school year with crutches, and even though you were new, you weren’t paying attention in math class. I remember my first impression of you being “he must not care about school.” I think I later learned you had just started reading the manga a couple days ago and wanted to catch up because you couldn’t think about anything else.

It didn’t even matter that you didn’t pay attention that week or that you came in mid-school semester because you aced every class. I thought it was because you were smart without trying, which irked me because I always felt like I was trying and not accomplishing—though I suppose that still applies now—but I later learned how much effort you put in. You always tried so hard that you made things seem easy. School work. Your happiness. Your feelings to a certain extent.

I just-

I wish-

Nevermind.

I hope you’re doing okay.

*beep*

December 17th at 13:21.

Hey, Jimin.

I tried to make pasta today, and I don’t know how, but I managed to get the sauce everywhere. Everywhere but in the pan. So now, my kitchen looks like a bloody crime scene with red everywhere. I don’t even know how I’m going to clean all of this up, but I should do it before it dries, right?

I should, but I’ve just been sitting on the floor looking at it for the past few minutes.

Do you remember when we made pasta for our fakesgiving potluck at your place, and I got sauce all over your shirt?

I was wearing your white shirt—why I thought wearing a white shirt while making red sauce was a good idea, I don’t know—and I was trying to get the jar to open, but it wouldn’t work. I don’t think i’ve ever told you about this, but I remember that day was particularly awful for me. Just one unlucky event after another—I don’t quite remember what exactly they were, just that they were enough to make me feel like I wasn’t enough—and even though I was so excited for the fakesgiving potluck the night prior, even though I loved our friends, I just wanted to be alone. To not do anything and settle under the covers. Pretend everything could be forgotten if I just went to sleep.

But I saw you, and you were so excited. I didn’t have the heart to tell you I didn't want to go, so I sucked it up and helped you prep. I tried to pretend that everything was okay, but when that stupid jar wouldn’t open, I took my frustration out on it. You tried to take it from me, but I pushed you away, told you I could do it.

And I did, only I also managed to spill the jar on your white shirt as I watched the jar fall to the ground and shatter. That spill was the tipping point, not because I spilled the only jar of tomato sauce in your apartment, but because I spilled it all over your new, brand name, white shirt.

I remember berating you for spending so much money on a shirt when you bought it—for fuck’s sake, it was a plain white shirt—but I know how much you adored it. I didn’t need to look at your face to know that I had fucked up, that I should have just let you open the jar instead of being stubborn. I started to cry, in anticipation of your anger, but you just held me instead, got pasta sauce on your shirt too as you let me cry on your shoulder, whispering “There, there. It’s okay. We can just make something else!”

You never even mentioned the white shirt, told me not to worry about it when I apologised, that it was the least of your concerns. That you could get another shirt.

Looking at my kitchen reminded me of that. So, I figured I’d give you another call, but it went straight to voicemail again.

I hope you’re doing okay.

I don’t know if you want to talk to me, but I’m just worried.

Call me if you get this?

Or just send me a text.

Bye, Jimin.

*beep*

December 19th at 21:45.

Hey. There’s a full moon today. And I thought about you.

I—uhm—think about you from time to time when the moon is bright. I don’t know why—it probably sounds stupid—but I have a lot of memories of you and the moon? Like that time we went to visit Jeongguk by the sea during winter break because all of us didn’t want to go home but didn’t want to be alone. So we made a road trip of it—well, it was kind of a road trip—and drove to San Diego to see him.

When we got to the sea, it was dark and so cold out, and the wind was fucking freezing, but we rolled up our pants and started walking along the shore, dipping our toes in the water and screaming about the temperature. Our teeth were chattering and the water was so so cold, but we did it anyways.

It was a nice beach, from what I remember. One of the nicest I’ve ever seen.

I stuck my hand into your jacket pocket and told you my hand warmer was dying, but to be honest, I just wanted to hold your hand. I think you knew, or maybe we had known each other for so long that you knew what I needed without having to express it in words, so you took my hand and held it tight. And even though the water was freezing and the wind was cold, in that moment, I felt so warm.

I think you and I have always communicated well, like how I saw the way your eyes glinted in the moonlight and, somehow, knew what you wanted to do. Sneaked up behind him and pushed Jeongguk into the ocean together and laughed as he shrieked.

It was fun, that day. I-

I miss those days sometimes. The earlier days. When there was less to worry about.

When you were happier.

Anyway, the moon is really bright today. The radio called it a supermoon, or something like that. I took a picture and tried to send it to you, but your phone still won’t let me send you messages. So if you hear this, just, go outside and take a look at the night sky.

Call me back? Or send me a text.

I just want to know you’re okay.

Bye Jimin.

*beep*

December 21st at 16:28

I went to see The Nutcracker today. It felt like I haven’t seen a ballet in forever. It’s been—what—one year since I saw one? Which, I guess, in the grand scheme of things hasn’t been that long. But you were the one who would take me and I haven’t seen one since...yeah. I know it’s your favourite ballet. Or was. I’m not sure if it’s changed, haha.

The American Ballet Theatre was putting on a performance, and there were still nosebleed seats available, so I bought one. It kind of felt like fate, like it was a sign that I was meant to be there, because I remember we used to get our tickets months in advance.

I remembered some of the terms? I recognised the pa-pas de deux—god, my high school french is so fucking rusty—between the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Prince. I know that part is your favourite, but I still think “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” is mine. All those turns? I don’t remember the technicalities, but I know it requires a lot of skill to pull off while looking graceful. I still find it strange that the Sugar Plum Fairy is the prima ballerina though, considering she barely appears.

I-uhm-kind of was hoping to see you.

I know you don’t dance anymore, but—maybe it was just my stupid desire but—I was hoping that you would be dancing with the company. That perhaps you were dancing again and that was why you weren’t answering any of the calls. I kept looking at everyone, trying to see if it was you. I even paid extra attention to the curtain call and looked at every single person, kept trying to find your physique in the line. But you weren’t there.

You weren’t in the audience either. I stayed in my seat until the very end, until after the end, and scanned the crowd for anyone who was lingering and soaking in the energy, like you would do every time we went to see a ballet together. But there wasn’t. It was just me.

I stayed in my seat anyways, until the ushers told me I had to leave. Because that’s what you would have done.

I guess I was hoping you would show up. That trying to do what you would do would somehow unlock your presence. Or give me some kind of clue.

But it didn’t.

Where are you?

*beep*

December 23rd at 17:19.

I saw Taehyung again today.

He wanted to know if I'd heard from you. I don’t know why he thought you would contact me. I mean, I know I call you and leave you these messages, but you know. I haven’t talked to you since...since, yeah.

He looked awful, like he’s running himself thin. I don’t know if he’s been sleeping well, Jimin. The two of you have been friends forever, and I don't know if you’d recognise him. He seems so tired, and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

He thought it was going to be like last time. That you would show up soon. But you haven’t yet, and it’s been so long, Jimin.

He called the hospital and they told him you quit a few weeks back, which I don’t understand. I thought you needed residency to get your physiotherapy license. Tae doesn’t get it either.

He’s been going to your apartment, trying to see if anyone is in there. But there hasn’t been. He’s contacted your apartment manager several times, telling them he’s worried about you, but they won’t let him have the keys. Safety reasons. It’s understandable and frustrating all at once because he—we just want to make sure you’re okay.

He said he used to have a key to your apartment. Said you gave him your spare, but you took it back? Something about you needing your spare because you locked yourself out. He said that was the last time he saw you.

I’m not trying to jump to conclusions, but you’re okay right? I know this time of year is when—uhm, the accident happened and you-uh-left the Royal Ballet School. I know this isn’t your favourite time of year, but if you need to talk, I’m here.

He’s worried, Jimin. We all are.

Call me back? Or call Tae? We’re just worried and Tae wants to file for a missing person’s report. So just, let us know you’re okay.

Call me soon, yeah?

*beep*

December 27th at 22:48.

I saw Yoongi today.

I don’t think he likes me very much, but then again, I wouldn’t like my cousin’s ex either, so I can’t really blame him. He was still as civil as ever. Very polite. He and Seokjin are still dating, but I’m sure you knew that.

Tae had contacted Yoongi a couple days ago? Asking about you. So we all met up in person today.

I forgot how much food Seokjin makes when he’s stressed. Do you remember when he was waiting to hear back from his job, and Yoongi invited us over for dinner? We were excited because we were college students and living off of the shitty cafeteria food and, also, because it was Seokjin’s food. You thought it was because they wanted to feed us—Seokjin always wanted to feed you—but when we went over, it was obvious they just needed help getting rid of the food. There was so much food. To this day, I don’t think I've ever seen so much food in one place, even during our potlucks, and Seokjin always brought a lot of food to our potlucks.

I remember stepping in to their apartment, and the heat radiating from the kitchen was too much to bear. The walls were sweating because he had been cooking for seven hours, trying to displace his anxiety into food. We came back to the dorms with tupperwares full of food. I didn’t have to visit the cafeteria for a week.

God, I’ll never forget the first time we met Seokjin, and he made us fried rice: you couldn’t stuff your face fast enough and choked because it went down the wrong pipe, coughed out fried rice all over their brand new dining table and all over Yoongi. Seokjin and I laughed so hard. I was trying to be polite, kept looking at Yoongi's face and tried to swallow my giggles, but Seokjin's laughter was so boisterous and lively that I couldn't not laugh.

You laughed too, kept choking on your laughter in between your apologies, and Yoongi just kept glowering at you. But it was full of affection. He didn’t say anything. Just looked at you and back at the table and huffed, but it would have been obvious to anyone that he wasn’t really annoyed with you.

He went back to our hometown a couple days ago, tried to see if you were there. But you weren’t.

He went to see your parents, but they still think you’re living here too. Yoongi said he went to all the places you used to go to, like your old ballet school and that comic book store you used to go to after school. I even asked him to visit the arcade. You know, where we first met outside of school? Where we would hang out after school with Jeongguk and spend too much money on House of the Dead. Where we had our first date.

But nothing.

There are traces of you everywhere, but you? You’re not anywhere.

Where’d you go, Jimin?

*beep*

December 28th at 2:19

Fuck you.

You don’t get to do this to me. I spent so long trying to forget and trying to move on and you come back in, except—do you know what the most fucked up part of this is? It’s that you’re not even here. You’re not here, and somehow you’re everywhere. No matter what I do, all I can do is think about you because no one knows where you are. Everyone is worried because you’re missing and I-I don’t know what to do.

I thought this was over a year ago.

So why, why are you back in my life? Why are you reawakening the things I've tried so hard to bury?

Fuck you.

*beep*

December 28th at 2:23

Hey Jimin. Just ignore that previous voicemail. I’m just--I’m just frustrated. Worried. Everyone is.

Just call me back if you get this?

*beep*

December 28th at 2:25

You don’t even need to call. Just give me a sign? Let me know you’re okay. Please.

I just want to know you’re safe.

*beep*

December 30th at 1:13

Jeongguk flew in from New York today. Tae called him yesterday, and he took the first flight here.

I realised I’ve never seen Jeongguk mad.

I guess I’ve kind of seen him grow up, but I’ve never seen Jeongguk angry until today. I mean, I've seen him upset and angry, but I’ve never seen him mad. Like mad mad. I’ve never been on the receiving end of it because he’s always had his emotions in check when it comes to the negative ones. We’ve seen him sad, but you know how he is. He seems like he doesn’t care, but he cares so much when it comes to the people he loves. He’s always trying to only share the good things because he doesn’t want to bring everyone down. And even when he’s upset with us, he tries to communicate. He’s always been emotionally mature in that sense.

A lot like you. I think he gets that from you. You are his brother after all.

But when we told him none of us had heard from you? That you were missing?

I realised we’ve ever really seen Jeongguk angry.

I’ve never seen Tae look so despondent or Yoongi so guilty than when we saw Jeongguk at the airport. They didn’t want to worry him because he had just moved for his new job—I’m sure you know about that—and he’s been so stressed out that they didn’t want to add more on to his plate.

They thought you would show up by now, that you would come back. Because you always do. Or did. You used to.

I remember the first time you disappeared. It was a year after you came back, the anniversary of the...the accident. You were a little distant a couple days prior, but still you. Still vibrant and happy and beau-I mean, bright. And then on the day of, you were just gone. Didn’t show up to school. Weren’t at the arcade. Weren’t at your apartment. Just gone. Vanished into thin air.

I remember asking Jeongguk if you were sick, but he had no idea what I was talking about, and when we couldn’t get a hold of you, he burst into tears. I held him as he told me about your fight last night, how you got your xbox taken away because the two of you didn’t know how to share. He thought you had left because you didn’t love him, because he was your step brother and not your real brother.

And as we were panicking about what to do, if we should tell your parents when they came back from work, you stepped through the front door with sand in your hair and your backpack over your shoulder, smiling as if you hadn’t been missing for half the day. As if your phone wasn’t turned off all day.

I remember feeling relieved and exhausted all at once, as if someone had drained all the worry and energy out of me. I remember Jeongguk crying as he ran to hug you. I remember you crying and promising not to go anywhere without telling him again.

And you didn’t. Sometimes you would disappear when something hit too close or when you felt like everything was too much, but we could always turn to Jeongguk for a breadcrumb, for the small hint that you were okay.

But you didn’t leave him a hint this time. When we called him, let him know you were missing, asked him if he knew anything about your whereabouts, he didn’t say anything. He went so quiet, we thought the line went dead, until he actually did hang up. He sent us a text message a few minutes later, letting us know he’ll be arriving on the next flight there.

Jeongguk-he’s so cold when he’s angry. He’s so quiet. But that quiet is so loud. It speaks volumes.

I’ve seen Jeongguk loud with laughter and quiet in contemplation. But this? This was something different.

I guess the two of you are alike in that sense too. Both of your silences are never just quiet.

*beep*

December 30th at 15:37

So we-uhm-broke into your apartment.

Or well, Jeongguk did. But I guess all of us are accomplices because we kind of-well, we stood there as he did it. I don’t know why Jeongguk even knows how to pick locks, but I didn’t really have the chance to ask.

Your apartment looks normal. Still spotless. It looks like you. Like how it used to. Or how it used to before we lived together, at least.

I’m not going to lie, I-I’m a little surprised you didn’t move out. I couldn’t even go to the places we used to go to after you told me you wanted to break up.

I guess it didn’t bother you as much.

We scoured your apartment for clues as to where you could have gone, which may sound very Paper Towns of us, but—I don’t know—we were just looking for any sign as to where you might be. If you were okay. There weren’t any notes or anything that could give us a hint though, and Tae said it doesn’t look any different than when he last visited.

Jeongguk also called your credit card company to see what your last purchases were. To see if it would give us any clues. But you haven’t used it since you left. Everything is just blank.

Blank. Like you don’t want to be found.

Jeongguk is still upset that none of us told him—I can’t blame him for that—but I think he’s mostly upset at himself that he didn’t know. That you two stopped talking for a bit, and he didn’t notice anything was wrong.

I think he feels like he’s been drifting away from you too, ever since his job got busy and he moved for work. Or maybe it’s before that. I think he’s always felt like you don’t tell him everything, even though he pours everything out to you, looks up to you. I know you’d give him the world, Jimin, but Jeongguk would give up everything for you if you ask.

But you don’t ask. You never do. You don’t let people in when you’re hurting. Maybe it’s the ballet training instilled in you to smile through the pain. Cover up the flaws. Put on a performance all the time. You pretend it doesn’t exist and push people out.

No, you just disappear instead.

*beep*

December 30th at 21:02

Tae and I are staying over at your apartment. I hope you don’t mind. We just decided we would rather not risk having anyone in your apartment see us try and break down your door and call the police on us, haha. It makes it easier if we’re in your apartment so we can open the door in case we need anything. Or find something that we missed.

It’s-uhm. It’s weird being here. Feels like I've been displaced from the present and back into the past, only you’re not here.

I noticed you took down all the photos of London.You used to have that big photograph wall next to your bed, filled with pictures from when you lived there, from when you used to dance. But all your ballet photos are gone too. Tae told me you took them down a while ago, a little after the break up. Said you stopped dancing for fun too, after a while.

I just-

I hope-

Ah, fuck it. Nevermind.

It’s so weird to be back here.

*beep*

December 30th at 22:14

I found my sweater under your pillow. The white one with the moon on it?

I thought I had lost it after we broke up. I wanted to ask you if you had it, if i forgot to take it with me when I moved out, but by then we had already been one month in and-

And it hurt. To think about you. Even though that was all I was doing.

It kind of felt like it does right now. How you permeate my every thought and every moment, even though you weren’t there. The quiet was-is-so loud with your absence.

It smells like you. The sweater.

I just-

I don’t know what that means.

I don’t know what any of this means.

I just don’t understand why my sweater would be under your pillow because it was you. You’re the one who told me you wanted to break up.

You told me you didn’t want to do this anymore, didn’t have the energy to try. You were so sad, and I wanted to argue, wanted to beg you to let me stay until you were better, but you were so sad. So sad and exhausted and defeated and certain in your decision that I knew there was no use fighting it.

How could I hold on to someone who’s not there anymore, right?

I’ve been telling myself that we can’t understand break ups or feelings. There’s no understanding them. We feel what we feel and sometimes there are no explanations for it. So I knew. I got it. I understood there was no point in asking to stay, but I regretted not asking you for a reason.

I still do.

I didn’t have the chance to ask you why because I was too busy staggering from the weight of I don't love you anymore. Too busy struggling to piece together what those words mean.

Love is a two way street; it goes both ways. But you made the decision, and all of a sudden, that two way street morphed into a dead end, and I had no choice but to walk away from it, back out the way I came from.

I wish I could say that I didn’t see it coming. That it came out of left field, out of the blue. But I can’t because I had been bracing myself for the impact for weeks. For months.

Would it have changed things if I hadn’t known? Would it have hurt less?

I don’t know.

I don’t know. But I wish I did.

I wish I knew, Jimin.

*beep*

Message deleted. You have no new voicemails. Main menu.

A/N: come talk to me! let me know your thoughts! once again, thank you to hana and noor. this story wouldn’t exist without the two of you.

#jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin x oc #jimin fic #jimin angst #bts fic #jimin scenario #bts scenario #bts imagine #jimin imagine #bangtanuniversity #thebtswritersclub #btswritingcafe #heartsforbts

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 5

First

Pretending to be perfect would be so much easier if she was actually perfect.

Now, Ladybug absolutely knew that she didn’t need to pretend anymore. In fact, there was no way in hell that she would be able to keep up the act…

And so she’d told herself that this was fine, that she was okay with the fact that she was going to be incorporating her life as ‘Ladybug’ more into her actual life.

She’d tried. She really had. She’d worn her normal clothes for the first few days while she was unpacking…

And then she’d sat down next to Carapace on that couch to talk to him like normal humans do… only to find herself falling right back into her persona the moment she’d laid eyes on him. She’d pulled her ‘scared civilian smile’ to her face and lied about her progress on her room for seemingly no reason.

That night she went to the store to buy herself red and black dresses to match her usual Ladybug aesthetic.

They’d believe that she was just wearing the casual clothes as temps while she was settling in, probably, it wouldn’t take much to convince them that she actually acted like Ladybug at all times.

Now, she knew that this would only work for a limited amount of time. No one could be perfect forever, and the resident human disaster would have an even harder time keeping up the charade…

But she could keep it up for a while, and ‘a while’ was all she needed.

After all, she suddenly had a proper motivation to find out who Hawkmoth was (she hadn’t really cared before, things were always fixed at the end so she wasn’t all that concerned about it), and Ladybug was never one to do things half-ass.

She had to change everything about herself, though, because she couldn’t concentrate on Hawkmoth if she was constantly worrying about maintaining her facade.

She considered ‘Ladybug’s’ general traits and how to convince everyone of it:

Probably a narc, has her life together, perfect…

Yeah, that would probably be enough for now.

She started by learning the law. She found some cheap copies of law textbooks online.

(And promptly found out by reading them that many of the sites she’d used to buy them were technically illegal. She wrote out an apology in Google to the DGSI agent that might be watching her computer. Did they care? Probably not, but she figured there was no harm in being safe.)

Next was getting her life together…

Difficult, but she figured she’d be able to do it. People did it all the time, right?

… not right.

She stared at the article she found on getting your life together in a few simple steps. She was not at all fond of being called out for all her bad habits and coping mechanisms so bluntly...

Still, it was worth a shot.

She searched through her boxes and pulled out a whiteboard. She pushed a couple pictures of her civilian friends off of it, there were more important things to be doing (also the whole ‘secret identities’ thing…), and started making a schedule for herself.

Ladybug blocked out time for work, working out, and cooking/eating healthy food. It left… very little time to find Hawkmoth…

Unless…

Coffee! The ultimate ‘I have my life together’ drink AND it added a few hours to her day! It was perfect!

Speaking of perfect, she was now going to have to be perfect pretty much all day.

She wouldn’t get a break as a civilian because she worked with models and fashion designers and kwami knows that even perfect isn’t enough for them most of the time.

Even her room wasn’t safe, Chat had proved that by walking in and watching her faceplant (it was a good thing he was stupid or else that might have actually ended up being a problem).

No, the only times she could be herself was when she was 1) texting her civilian friends or 2) walking to and from work.

She was beginning to think this was a lot more trouble than it was worth…

Whatever. She was doing it anyways. Nothing, not even logic, was going to stop her from maintaining her ‘Ladybug’ persona.

She nearly dropped her coffee (which was mostly sugar and milk, let’s be honest) when she heard a knock on her trapdoor.

“Come in!” She said, pulling an earbud out of her ear.

Chloe poked her head through. “The akuma can fly.”

Ladybug fought the urge to groan. She looked down at the empty page in her sketchbook. Gabriel Agreste, the bastard, wanted a design by the next day and he didn’t grant extensions for akumas.

But she supposed saving Paris was slightly more important than her work --.

Wait, if she didn’t save Paris then she wouldn’t have to turn in her assignment…

She saw Tikki giving her a disapproving look, no doubt aware of where her thoughts were currently heading, and rolled her eyes.

She took out her other earbud and got up. “Alright. Tikki, spots on. Is it really a two person job?”

“Master Fu says so.”

“And Chloe says…?”

“Chlo -- I say that it’s a man made of sand. Guess how hard it’ll be.”

“Mr. Sandman, man me a sand…” mumbled Ladybug absently.

Chloe frowned a little bit. “Did you say something?”

She blinked a few times and then smiled. “Just that Master Fu needs to relax a bit more. We’re very obviously overcompensating.”

“True.”

Ladybug pushed open the attic window and they both flew out into the night --.

Wait, night? Wow, it was a lot later than she thought it was. She was soooo screwed on this deadline.

But there were bigger problems: there was a guy floating around on a pillow.

“The Sandboy just checked in! Now nightmares can begin!”

She rolled her eyes under her mask and looked at Chloe. “What does he do?”

“Creates nightmares. Obviously.”

They came to a stop a few buildings away and watched as sand slowly sprinkled down from the pillow that Sandboy was currently riding. The houses that he passed over erupted with screams.

Wow, the sand was really pretty, actually. Ladybug took note of the colors and the way it shone in the night. Maybe she could model the dress after it… she could do those colors, a bit of glitter…

Chloe nudged her shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, just thinking about what to do…” … for her assignment, but Chloe didn’t need to know that.

“Got any ideas?”

She forced herself to focus on Sandboy. “His cloud is shaped like a pillow, that’s probably the akuma. It also looks like the glitt -- sand -- the SAND is what causes the nightmares, so we should avoid that.”

Chloe nodded a little bit. “Obviously. What should we do?”

“Knock him off.”

“You’re so smart, I wonder how I’d never thought of that,” she said sarcastically.

“You ASKED me what we should do! I answered --!”

“Hello, ladies!” Said Sandboy as he came around the side of the roof.

Chloe scoffed. “Go back to saying your lame rhyme, will you? We’re in the middle of something!”

Sandboy frowned, his expression a combination of shocked and offended. His voice was much higher when he spoke next: “You think my rhyme is lame?”

“Yes.”

Sandboy looked at Ladybug for confirmation, and Ladybug just shrugged and nodded.

“Ouch,” said Sandboy. He cleared his throat and when he spoke again he’d deepened his voice: “We’ll see how lame you think I am when you’re fighting your worst nightmare!”

Ladybug and Chloe immediately jumped away, because usually people say that when they’re about to attack, and the sand nailed the roof right where they’d just been.

The two women met eyes briefly and an understanding passed between them.

“Still lame!” Taunted Chloe.

Sandboy gasped indignantly and floated after her. Chloe smiled and started flying away.

“I mean, honestly, who thought of that? What’re you ‘checking in’ to? Work?”

Sand barely missed Chloe and she took out her spinning top to get away faster.

A piece of sand hit her spinning top. Ladybug and Chloe gave pause. Would that count? Well, it didn’t matter, at least. The solution would be the same: keep running.

Chloe must have come to the same conclusion, because she shook her head and continued…

Except her strides were much slower now.

Ah. So it did matter.

Chloe whimpered a little bit.

Ladybug winced. Great. So it had taken away her powers, probably, or at least her speed. She needed to wrap this up…

She forced herself to fly faster and she launched herself at Sandboy’s back. He happened to glance back and see her, which wasn’t great as he ascended sharply.

Her hands managed to catch the pillow, and she held tight even when she got a facefull of sand.

She felt flames lap at her ankles and a strangled scream escaped her lips. Ladybug didn’t care how she went out for the most part, but it was not going to be through burning to death. She forced herself to not pay attention to the fact that the fire was travelling up and catching on the hem of her dress and it was creeping along her --!

Nope! Not paying attention!

She swung her legs back and forth a few times to wobble the pillow underneath him until he inevitably lost his balance and fell over the side.

That was the good thing.

The bad thing was that the pillow was apparently Sandboy powered and now Sandboy and Ladybug were both plummeting towards the flames far below. Ladybug flapped her currently burning wings and couldn’t help but mumble a curse when she realized that they definitely didn’t work as well when they were on fire.

As it was, she managed to slow her fall and miss the bulk of the flames by inches.

Still hurt like hell when she hit the ground, though.

She rolled around on the concrete streets to smother the flames and didn’t relax until she knew for sure that they were gone.

That done, she allowed herself to relax with a still smoldering pillow. She probably would have rested her head on it if she wasn’t somewhat worried that some leftover sand would touch her face and she’d have to deal with more fire.

Still, it was over… that was nice…

A foot nudged her side.

She blinked the pain from her eyes and looked up at Chloe…

Chloe pulled the pillow from her weak grip and tore the case.

The akuma fluttered out of the pillow.

Ladybug forced herself to her feet before she was ready.

“Can you hit the akuma or do you need me?”

Chloe scoffed a little, and then paused. She considered for a minute before saying, “Yeah, it’s not like I just faced one of my worst nightmares...”

“Losing your powers is one of your worst -- know what? Doesn’t matter. You can’t even hit it without your powers,” said Ladybug.

Chloe frowned.

Ladybug ignored this. She pulled her yoyo from her waist and tossed it at the butterfly. The akuma gave a pitiful squeak as it was sniped out of the air.

Instantly, her pain melted away. She breathed a sigh of relief. Much better.

She slowly walked over to Sandboy, who was apparently just a kid.

Annoyance flared in her. Hawkmoth was going after kids? This one looked like a toddler!

She forced herself to relax and brought a smile to her face. “Hey, what happened?”

“I watched a scary movie and had a nightmare…” explained the kid.

She nodded a tiny bit and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Would you like one of us to take you home? We can read you a bedtime story and keep the akumas away…”

PleasesaynoIhaveworktodopleasesaynosaynosay --.

“Yes please!” The kid sniffled and wrapped his arms around her.

Noooooooo...

Chloe spoke up after a second’s hesitation, her expression thoughtful: “You were working on something before we left, right, ‘bug?”

Ladybug blinked behind her mask. “Yeah…?” Was Chloe really going to offer to help?

“Ha! Sucks! See you tomorrow!” Chloe smiled and stuck her tongue out at Ladybug, then took off.

Yeah, she should have expected that.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the kid. Whatever. She could go read him a story and get him to bed, it shouldn’t take long…

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t know.”

Fuck.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen

#a miraculous tiktok account #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #adrien agreste #chat noir #nino lahiffe #carapace #alya cesaire #rena rouge #miraculous team #miraculous fic #ml fic #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

Text

How the music world works

Hi guys!! I’m back again with another long ass post. I’m the Italian Anon, F Anon, and, for those who don’t know, the same one who wrote: “There is a light at the end of the tunnel” – “Hi Ciao Hola” - and the “Camren timeline”. So, yeah, hi, my lovely fellows CS. 🥰

I spent the last days writing this post, Mari/Stuck can confirm this to you guys, and it’s dedicated to all those who want to understand a little bit more how this shit works. Maybe understand even more what the girls went through. There would be many more things to say, but I’ve tried to summarize as much as possible and include the things I think are the most important.

Premise: I’m not an expert. These are simply things I know because I’ve loved music since I was a kid and because I’ve always been intrigued by the music business and how it all works.

Okay, that said, grab something to eat or drink, and let’s get started:

Bear in mind that the music industry uses what are called ‘royalties’, calculated in percentages, for any form of payment.

Copyrights:There are two types of copyrights in the music world regarding a song: 1) one for master recording, and 2) one for music/composition.

1) ‘Master’ is a term used to refer to the copyright of a song’s final and effective original audio recording. The copyright of a master’s recording can belong to an artist (artists) if they’ve recorded independently, [and if they’ve recorded with a producer then also to the producer who gets a small share of the master’s rights (up to 12%) in producer royalties], or to the record label, or to the recording studio if the artist is unable to pay for the recording services, or to any other X person who financed the recording.

2) The copyright for the music/composition belongs to the authors, that is, the songwriters (lyrics) and the composers of the song (melody). Owning music copyrights allows authors to control who can play their song, or distribute it, or publicly perform it by doing a cover, or sample a piece of the original composition to use for a new song, etc. Therefore, whenever a record label or a singer wants to record a song that is not their property, they must ALWAYS apply for a ‘mechanical license’ (which allows them to do everything I’ve just written) from the authors who are the legitimate owners. These copyrights can be fully transferred and assigned to others, usually publishers, who can authorize the use of that music through the transfer of a mechanical license, issued in exchange for a money contribution (mechanical royalties).

So, to recap to better understand. If someone records an artist/songwriter’s song, they own the copyright of the recording of the master/song. They DON’T own the lyrics of the song because there’s a difference between the authors of a track and the actual owners of the master recording. The musical composition made by the authors is generally represented by a publisher, while the sound recording, made by the artist and the music producer, is generally represented by a label.

In 5H’s case, Simco Limited still owns both copyrights. First of all because, especially for Reflection and 7/27, they didn’t have the chance to write and be legally recognized as songwriters except for ‘All in My Head (Flex)’ (and I believe they definitely did ghostwrite something). And secondly because, a recording agreement states that the label becomes the owner of all the master recordings recorded by the artist during the period of the agreement. Therefore, upon signing the contract, the artist is forced to cede the copyrights of the master recording [Cede/Assign: is the transfer of ownership for the entire duration of the copyright. In the case of sound recordings, it’s 50/70 years from their release. It doesn’t matter if artists manage to reimburse all recording expenses, those recordings/songs, including unreleased recordings, will still be labels property] to the label and to the publisher, which is often the label itself. In most cases, it is. In their case it’s a little different though. Although their contracts were with Syco and Epic, record labels, it’s Simco Ltd. (Limited), holding company, that still owns the copyrights for music and sound recordings. Simco Limited (Salmon Simon) is used to own copyrights and grant licenses, and indeed, Syco, which was in a collaborative partnership with Epic (both Sony), granted the exclusive license rights to Epic. When 5H signed the contracts, they ceded both copyrights to Simco, which granted the master recording copyrights to the publisher, in 5H’s case, the publishers. Of the many they had, four of the most important ones: Simco itself, Syco, Epic, and Sony.

Publishers: Publishers are responsible for the authors’ copyrights license and administration, and part of their job, is also that of pushing authors’ music by promoting it and actively trying to get it included in TV, movies, advertisements, etc. The authors grant publishers the copyright of their musical composition through a publishing contract, and publishers are responsible for ensuring that the authors receive a royalties’ payment when their compositions are commercially used and for monitoring where this happens.

This royalties payment takes place thanks to the registration of authors’ music that publishers make to collection agencies such as MRI (Music Reports, Inc.) and HFA (Harry Fox Agency), which take and distribute mechanical royalties, usually 50/50 between publishers and authors, and ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers), BMI (Broadcast Music Incorporated), and SESAC (Society of European Stage Authors and Composers), which take and distribute performance royalties, usually 70% to authors and 30% to publishers.

Labels and publishers are not always the same thing, and indeed, there are four types of publishers: 1) administrator, a person or a small company, 2) independents, 3) major publishers, (labels) such as Sony, Warner, Universal, Epic, Columbia, etc., and 4) self-publishing, an author who holds the role of publisher themselves. They all do the same job but the differences between them are two: the first one is that among the first three, the difference is in the royalties’ commissions that start from the lowest (administrator) to the highest (major publishers), and the second one is that independents and majors can also provide advances. Majors especially, advance millions of dollars to the authors in exchange for a percentage that can reach up to 50% of royalties.

Distributors: A music distribution company signs deals with record labels or artists which then give them the right to sell their music. Distributors are simply concerned with providing music to consumers, not only by taking it to the stores to sell it, but also online for both sale and streaming. Their commission varies according to the agreements, but is usually 15%. Distributors can be real stores, record labels, and digital online like: SoundCloud, LANDR, Baby CD, TuneCore, DistroKid, etc. which pass it to Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, Tidal, Amazon Music, Deezer, Napster, Google Music, Shazam, YouTube, etc.

Ghostwriters: Ghostwriters are authors who write on commission. The musical ones, can write an entire song or even a single sentence for an artist, without of course receiving credit for doing so. That’s exactly why the name ghostwriter/s. Ghostwriters sell their songs to record labels for their artists or can be contacted specifically to write a song. When ghostwriters sell their songs, they sign a contract with a confidentiality clause and receive a payment in advance. A big payment, by the way. Some ghostwriters remain copyright owners of their song, so they not only earn on the advance received for the sale of the song, but also receive some royalties when the song is used. Other ghostwriters, on the other hand, most of them actually, also sell copyrights, and for this reason, they earn absolutely no percentage in royalties because the song they sold is no longer theirs.

Labels: Record labels earn money when their music is purchased, downloaded, streamed, and licensed for use. When an album is released, the label derives a percentage of profits from the total sales in royalties. The percentage may vary according to the agreement that the artist initially signs in the contract, and of course, the more the artist is of a high level, such as Beyoncé or Rihanna, the lower the percentage obtained from the label. The percentage can be 97%, or 95%, or 90%, or 88%, or 85%, or 83%, and so on, but usually never below 75% unless the label is an independent label. The remaining percentage, whether it’s 3%, 5%, 10%, 12%, 15%, 17%, and so on, is given to the artist. But before the artist is paid, there’s the ‘recoupment’, that is, the label recovers all the expenses invested. And from their percentage, the artist has to subtract royalties that are to be distributed to the producers of the songs, to management managers, to the business managers, to the lawyer, etc. Producers’ royalties vary from 1 to 3% of the record’s selling price, managers’ ones vary from 15 to 20%, and business managers’ and lawyer’s ones are usually 5%. AFTER the costs have been reimbursed, the artist gets paid.

When an artist is signed by a label, the latter buys some songs for the album from authors and ghostwriters, and invests on the artist by giving them an advance to make that album. This advance is mainly reserved to pay for the recording of the album, and this means paying for the recording costs, which include the payment of the recording studio or more recording studios, the payment of instruments and equipment, the payment of producers, arrangers, assistants engineer, recording engineers, editing engineers, mixing engineers, and mastering engineers, the payment of the artwork that includes covers for the album and singles, both printed and digital, album booklet, promotional pictures, merchandising, etc., etc., but a part of this (advance), is given to the artist as ‘living expenses’, that is, as personal use.

Example: Let’s say the label gives $100,000 in advance to the artist. $80,000 must be reserved for recording expenses and the remaining $20,000 are artist’s for personal use. If this $80,000 are enough to record the album, things remain unchanged, but it may happen that it takes more money to record, or even less. If it took less, that money is added to what the label gave the artist for personal use. Let’s say that it took 70,000 to record the album, the remaining 10,000 are added to the artist’s 20,000, thus becoming $30,000. If, on the other hand, it took more, the artist must pay the difference or the label has the right to terminate the contract. Let’s say it took 90,000 to record the album, it’s up to the artist to take $10,000 from the 20,000 of their living expenses and add it, in the hope that they haven’t already spent it all on jewelry, clothes, and cars as many artists have done in the past, thus finding themselves in debt to the label from the very beginning. Same thing if it took more than 100,000 to record the album; the artist starts getting into debt even before the album is released and the label could conclude the contract. But, if the label exercises their option for another album, cross-collateralization takes place. Cross-collateralization allows the label to sequentially recover the money advanced for past, present, and future albums, considering them as a single total advance. Example: the label advanced the artist $200,000 to record the first album and $300,000 for the second one. For the first one, they only managed to return half, and for the second one, 200,000. These two debts (100,000+100,000), accumulate together by becoming a single debt to be paid in the third album.

It’s therefore important that the artist doesn’t go over budget, especially because, in addition to the advance to make the album, the label advances the artist more money to pay for many other things, such as music videos, promotions, designers and costume designers, make-up artists, choreographers, travel, merchandise, tours, etc., along with paying the management to advertise such as, booking TV shows, paying radio stations to play their music, and SO on. So, basically, the investment that the label makes towards the artist concerns:

1) the purchase of some songs.

2) the advance, which includes 3) the recording costs, which in turn include the payment of the recording studio/s, the payment of instruments and equipment, the payment of producers, arrangers, engineers, artwork, etc., 4) and 50% of marketing and promotional and legal costs.

Then 5) the packaging costs that vary from 15 to 25%, which include: both the physical sale (CDs, vinyl, cassettes) and the digital download of the album despite the fact that there’s literally nothing to physically pack, - the breakage costs which vary from 10 to 20%, and which are a precaution for possible breakage (CDs, vinyl, cassettes) during shipping, - the digital breakage costs, which is completely ridiculous given that, especially in this case, there’s literally nothing to physically pack, - the free goods which vary from 10 to 20%, and which concern a certain number of album copies that the label gives to distributors, radios, and other entities for promotional purposes, and since these goods are NOT considered as sold, the artist doesn’t compensate for those free albums since they’re paid only for (physical and digital) sales and streaming of the album, - and the reserve costs which are a precaution that the label takes by temporarily withholding a small percentage of the artist, considered to be a reserve, against potential returns that happen only when the stores send back the unsold albums to distributors by receiving a refund.

6) 50% of the video production costs from which the label usually also derives 50% commission on the royalties’ share earned by the artist.

And lastly, 7) the tour support costs.

Royalties and licenses, and there are several:

The artist royalties, also known as recording royalties and master-generated royalties, are those earned by the label and the artist thanks to the sales of their music. Whether it’s the digital sale, or if it’s downloaded, or streamed, or whether it’s the physical sale, that is that of a CD, or of vinyl, or of a cassette. The royalties are collected by the distributors, who draw up a maximum of 15% commission, to then distributing them in division to the label and the artist on the basis of the agreements made. Let’s say, for example, 85% on the label and 15% on the artist.

The mechanical royalties, like artist royalties, are those generated by all old and new music formats such as: CDs, vinyl, cassettes, digital downloads, and streaming services. But unlike artist royalties, these are earned by authors (songwriters and composers) when the song is: played and sold as a ringtone, streamed through on-demand services (e.g.: Spotify and Apple Music), sold for digital download (e.g.: iTunes and Amazon), performed by someone else as a cover, sampled and used for a new song [in addition to the mechanical license (the rights in the form of permits granted by the authors to use their music), a master license (the rights in the form of permits granted by the owner of the master recording to use a pre-recorded version, therefore with the voice of the artist who sings the song, of a song in a video or audio project, but doesn’t allow to be recorded again with a voice other than that of the original singer) is required to do so], modified in other versions (like for e.g. a remix of the same song) and performed by someone else (besides the mechanical one, it requires a master license to do so), and bought from a store (usually it happens with albums and not with single tracks).

These royalties are collected by a mechanical licensing organization such as Music Reports, Inc. (MRI, which manages those of Apple, Pandora, Amazon, SiriusXM, Microsoft, etc.) or the Harry Fox Agency (HFA, which manages those of major record labels: Sony, Universal, and Warner), which usually draw 11/12% commission from them and then distribute them in division to publishers and authors for musical composition. A single streaming listen generates both mechanical and public performance royalties. But to make a single dollar, on Spotify for example, it’s necessary to obtain about 230 streams on that song. Artists DO NOT earn any mechanical royalty unless they’re writers or co-writers of the song.

The public performance royalties are earned when a song is broadcast or performed publicly. That is, when a song is broadcast on the radio, on TV, or at the movie theater, or at a game, or in a club, or in a restaurant, or in a hotel, or in a shop, or in a gym, or from a jukebox, or in a live concert, etc., etc. Organizations such as BMI (Broadcast Music Incorporated) and ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) also called PRO (Performance Rights Organization) where songs are registered with licenses and legal rights and which (these organizations) protect and act on behalf of those who hold the copyrights of authors and publishers, even granting public performance licenses (the rights in the form of permits granted by authors to use their music in public), are the ones that collect these royalties by usually drawing 16/18% commission, to then distributing them in division to publishers and authors for musical composition. Another PRO organization such as SoundExchange, on the other hand, is responsible for collecting royalties by usually drawing 14/15% commission, and then distributes them to: the featured artists of the song, usually at 45%, to the copyright owners for the master recording (usually the label) at 50%, and to the non-featured artists (artists not present in the song) such as for e.g. chorists, at 5%. As with mechanical royalties, artists DO NOT earn any royalty from public performances unless they’re writers or co-writers of the song.

*** Remember how I said earlier that management (through the label) pays radio stations to play their artist’s music? Well, that’s because radio stations have to pay a PRO organization in their turn to be able to play it, and in short, if they want to work. Basically, based on what the artists/management have paid to have their song played, the radio stations create a list of all the songs. About once a month, the radio stations deliver the list, which indicates which songs they’ve played and how many times they’ve played them, to BMI or ASCAP, on the basis of who they have agreements with, or to both. Radio stations have to pay a blanket license (the rights in the form of permits granted by authors and issued by PRO organizations to have access to a part or complete repertoire of authors’ songs for a fixed annual fee. Such as, for example, precisely a radio station, or a shopping mall that wants to play background music) fee to BMI or ASCAP, which then in their turn transfer the money/royalties to songwriters, composers, publishers, and record labels. Each track’s play that one of the biggest commercial radio stations does, generates about $12 in royalties. Those 12 dollars, multiplied by every single time the song has been played on the radio, are collected by BMI or ASCAP, then equally divided, and delivered. If an artist wants their single on the radio, they pay about $500 to $1,000 to $2,000. If they want it to be played often and advertised more, they pay between $100,000 and $125,000. And for the single to become the number one hit on the radio, the artist has to pay around $200,000, sometimes it can cost over $350,000/400,000. Costs vary depending on the radio station and the competition. Payola isn’t a practice that’s SO illegal after all, since EVERYBODY does it! Ask the song Despacito that. Oh, hey! Hey, girl, how ya doin? I saw that Baby Shark, a fucking children’s song, top you on YouTube. ***

The synchronization royalties are generated when copyrighted music is paired or ‘synchronized’ with visual media, such as: movies, trailers, tv shows, commercials, video games, music videos, etc. In the case of movies, royalties are also generated both for performance, derived from the performance of the song at the movie theater and on TV, and mechanicals, derived from the physical and digital sales of the soundtrack. If, for example, a person wants to use a copyrighted song for their YouTube video, along with the synchronization license (the rights in the form of permits granted by the authors and issued by PRO organizations to use the authors’ music coupled with visual media, and unlike the master license, this allows to re-record the song with a voice different from that of the original singer), they will need the master license by making an agreement with the owner of the master recording, such as a record label. Just as with performance royalties, these are collected by PRO organizations and distributed among publishers and authors. Artists earn from these royalties too.

The copyrights royalties belong to the authors of the song. Authors, who may be songwriters and composers, grant their rights as authors and copyright owners to publishers. Royalties are divided between publishers and authors. Very often, 50/50 for both synchronization royalties and mechanical royalties, but this depends a lot on the agreements made between them. As for mechanical royalties, if publishers have provided an advance, the percentage they’re entitled to can be up to a maximum of 50% royalties. Authors are guaranteed a minimum of 50%, and some agreements can give them up to 90% of the profits. If an author is self-published, in the sense that they act as their own publisher, they can receive 100% of the mechanical royalties. As for performance royalties, on the other hand, publishers receive 30% and authors 70%. Based on how many songwriters and composers there are, that 70% is divided into equal parts. For example, if it’s two of them, 35% and 35%. Unless, by mutual agreement, they decide to divide them differently, like: 50% and 20%, or 47% and 23%, or 60% and 10%, always to reach 70%. It usually happens when one of them has contributed more to the song.

Print license, the rights in the form of permits granted by authors to be able to make copies or reprint the lyrics of the scores of one of their songs. Theatrical license, the rights in the form of permits granted by authors to use their song on a theatre stage in front of an audience.

Basically, the artist earns very little or no earnings at all because they get into debt, especially if they’re not a songwriter and don’t co-write their music. The way in which the artist really earns is thanks to merchandising and the tour. The artist takes the percentage that varies from 75 to 90% of the ticket price. Labels, on the other hand, gain on all fronts. They earn mainly thanks to 360-degree contracts, also called multiple rights deals, which allows them to receive a percentage of artists’ ancillary rights, that is, artists’ earnings deriving from everything they do. So, not only do they earn when their artists’ music is physically and digitally purchased, streamed, and licensed for use, but they also earn from songwriting incomes, concert and live performance incomes, merchandise sales, licensing, endorsement and sponsorship deals, movie and TV appearances fees, ringtone sales, etc., etc.

Like, for example, once the artist signs the recording agreement and the labels become the owners of all the master recordings, they put the artist to work with songwriters chosen by them to write songs that the artist sings, and they earn from the public performance licenses (having the songs put on the radio, in movies, on TV, etc.) they have granted as publishers. And in this case, not only do they earn royalties that go half to publishers (themselves) and a half to the songwriters they hired (and IF, only IF the artist has written something in the song, then they get their share which is also made in half with the songwriters), but also by having the artist sign a mechanical license agreement that allows them to release CDs, vinyl, cassettes, sell digital downloads, and streaming services. The artist then gets into debt with the labels, usually with advances of millions, and tries to earn on tour with the proceeds from ticket sales and merchandising to pay back all the advances. They find themselves in deep shit, also because those debts will be carried on in the next albums thanks to cross-collateralization, and if they try to rebel, the labels stop promoting them and their songs, and as a result of that, sales decrease by cornering the artist even more since they would no longer earn their artist royalties. It can also happen that, when they’re under enough pressure, the artist can be dropped by the labels in exchange for the absolute renunciation of all rights of their own music. When this happens, the labels/publishers start to strongly promote the artist because by then, they and their writers are the ones to get all the money. None for the artist.

Practical examples about 5H to explain everything:

I would like to clarify that, except for the actual sales numbers of the albums I researched, these are examples of numbers I invented. I’m gonna base the real data on invented numbers to help you understand how it all works. In truth, there would be a lot more things to calculate than what I’m gonna show and, of course, the numbers are much higher in the real world as we’re talking about major labels that are known to be willing to advance millions. In my examples, 5H will not be indebted into the final earnings estimates. The reality is, however, that the girls were in debt. At 100%, at least definitely until 2016. Having said that, we can start with their EP: ‘Better Together’.

The Better Together era lasted for a year, to be more precise, from July 16, 2013, with the release of ‘Miss Movin’ On’, until July 7, 2014, when they released ‘BO$$’. As I’ve already said, I’m gonna only use the real sales data of the albums, in this case, the EP. I won’t use anything else, although I know they made money from other projects. Therefore, I won’t include the earnings from: ‘Juntos’, the covers they did on YouTube (‘Thinkin’ Bout You’ by Frank Ocean, ‘American’ by Lana Del Rey, ‘Lego House’ by Ed Sheeran, ‘Stay’ by Rihanna, ‘Red’ by Taylor Swift, and ‘Honeymoon Avenue’ by Ariana Grande), the two covers (‘Mirrors’ by Justin Timberlake and ‘When I Was Your Man’ by Bruno Mars) they did with Boyce Avenue in their EP ‘Cover Collaborations, Vol. 2’, the collaboration they made with Mattel who launched the Barbie doll collection inspired by them ($19,99 each), together with the promotional song (‘Anything Is Possible’, + the video) and the episode (‘Sisters’ Fun Day!’) in which they appeared as their dolls, the collaboration with AwesomenessTV for the takeovers (from 2013 to 2015), the appearance in the episode 2x06 of Faking It, the collaboration with Wet Seal for their clothing lines, etc., etc.

As for Better Together, Fifth Harmony sold a total of 120,000 copies worldwide, of which 51,000 album-equivalent units and 69,000 traditional sales. In America, the album-equivalent unit is calculated as follows: the sale of 1 album is equivalent to 10 songs downloaded, which in turn are equivalent to 1,500 streams of a song. 51,000x1,500= 76,500,000 streams. 382,500 in royalties from Apple Music, 306,000 from Spotify. I’m gonna use only and exclusively Apple’s royalties in my examples, so let’s pretend that all the royalties they earned from selling the album-equivalent units (51,000), come from there. Now, the original price of the album was $4,99, and having sold 69,000 copies of the physical album (CD), we get the sum of ($69,000x4,99=) $344,310. The sum of both sales brings us to a total of ($382,500+344,310=) 726,810 dollars/royalties earned.

We know that Simco Ltd. gave the exclusive license rights to Epic, which invested the money and then shared the profits with Syco. Therefore, we know that it was Epic that gave 5H the advances to record the albums. We also know that things were pretty bad until the end of December 2015, when thanks to the intervention of Dina LaPolt (the musical lawyer they hired at that time – she didn’t represent C), they managed to renegotiate and adjust their contracts. Dina said: “Every agreement they signed, were the worst I’ve ever seen in the music business”, and thanks to that, we can imagine how high the profits Epic and Syco made. Of those 726,810 royalties earned from EP sales, let’s imagine that Epic, according to Dina’s words, made 92% of profits from the girls’ artist royalties. 726,810-8%= 668,665.2, rounded 668,665, *I’m gonna round all numbers automatically*, from which Epic subtracts 15% commission to give to the distributors (like Sony Music Entertainment) of the album (668,665-15%= 568,365), before splitting the sum in half with Syco (568,365÷2= 284,183). All this would leave (726,810-92%=) 58,145 royalties to 5H. …right? No. Why?? Because before being paid, they have to subtract the royalties to give to producers (let’s imagine 3%), management managers (let’s imagine 20%), business managers (let’s imagine 5%), and the lawyer (let’s imagine 5%), [actually a lot of other people too, but I’m gonna just calculate these], and then, most importantly, the recoupment happens.

Epic recovers:

1) The advance, which let’s imagine to be $380,000. Of these $380,000, $250,000 was initially intended to cover the costs of creating an album (LP), but since they eventually opted for an EP, let’s imagine that the advance dropped to $300,000. Now, of these $300,000, 190,000 had to cover:

2) the recording costs, which included the payment of recording studios (there were six for the EP), the payment of instruments and equipment, the payment of arrangers, assistants engineer, recording engineers, editing engineers, mixing engineers, and mastering engineers, the payment of the artwork that includes covers for EP and singles, both printed and digital, EP booklet, promotional pictures, merchandising, etc., etc.

3) 50% of the video production costs, that is, the costs for the music video of the first official single extracted from the EP, let’s imagine $50,000 for ‘Miss Movin’ On’, therefore $25,000.

and 4) 50% of the marketing and promotion costs for ‘Miss Movin’ On’ and the EP: radio stations, TV shows, interviews, billboards, magazines, advertising on websites and social media, merchandising, etc. Let’s imagine 150,000, therefore 75,000, thus leaving (300,000-190,000-25,000-75,000=) $10,000 as living expenses, (10,000÷5=) 2,000 each.

But that’s not all. Epic also advanced other money during the EP era, and also recovers these:

5) the packaging costs, let’s imagine that they are 20%, which include the breakage costs, let’s imagine 10%, and the free goods, let’s imagine 10%.

3²) 50% of the video production costs for the second music video extracted from the EP as a promotional single (‘Me & My Girls’), let’s imagine another $40,000, therefore $20,000. [So from here, the label not only recovers the anticipated costs for making the videos, but they usually even get 50% commission on the artist’s share of royalties earned on the views].

And lastly, 6) the tour support costs: book and promote tour dates, make sure of having approval and sponsorship agreements, hire a team for the tour, travel, hotels, restaurants, choreographies, costumes, makeups, tour merchandise, etc. Let’s imagine $300,000 for all seven tours [Four tours of their own (2013: Harmonize America Mall Tour. 2013: Fifth Harmony Theatre Tour. 2014: The Worst Kept Secret Tour. 2014: Fifth Times A Charm Tour), plus the three for which they were the opening acts (2013: Cher Lloyd, I Wish Tour. 2014: Demi Lovato, Neon Lights Tour. 2014: Austin Mahone, Live on Tour)].

Having co-written three out of seven songs on the EP, the girls earned: let’s imagine 70% public performance royalties (minus let’s imagine 14% to give to PRO organizations), 50% synchronization royalties (minus let’s imagine 14% to give to PRO organizations), and 50% mechanical royalties (minus let’s imagine 11% to give to mechanical licensing organizations such as MRI and HFA) as songwriters. Therefore, we’re gonna do: 100% of performance royalties, minus 14% to give to organizations, is equal to 86% (100-14=86). 86% is to be divided between 30% that goes to publishers, and 70% that goes to the girls. 30% of 86 is 25.8/26, while 70% is 60.2/60 (60.2+25.8=86 / 60+26=86). Same thing with synchronization royalties (100-14=86. 50% of 86 is 43), and mechanical royalties (100-11=89. 50% of 98 is 44.5/45). The sum of 5H royalties is (60+43+45=) 148.

These 148 are now to be divide with the other songwriters of the three songs. For ‘Don’t Wanna Dance Alone’, they are to be divide with two songwriters (Julian Bunetta, Andre Merrit), for ‘Who Are You’ with three (Julian Bunetta, PJ Bianco, Nasri Atweh), and for ‘Me & My Girls’ with four (Julian Bunetta, PJ Bianco, Beau Dozier, John Ryan). Six songwriters to divide them with. I say six because Julian Bunetta is in all three songs, while PJ Bianco is in two. Therefore, let’s divide the royalties between 5H and the six other songwriters: 148÷7= 21. This would be 5H’s gain for performance, synchronization, and mechanical royalties. [It’s obviously not a complete calculation because to that number, the numbers of plays and sales of the three songs taken individually must be added. I remind you that this is just a generic example to help you understand how it works]

By doing all the calculations:

[300,000 (initial advance) – 10,000 (living expenses)] = 290,000 (recording costs, ‘Miss Movin’ On’ video, marketing and promotion) + 20,000 (‘Me & My Girls’ video) + 300,000 (tour support) = 610,000.

58,145 (artist royalties earned) – 73% [3% (to be given to the EP producers which were three) + 20% (to be given to the management managers) + 5% (to be given to the business managers), + 5% (to be given to the lawyer), + 20% (packaging costs) + 10% (breakage costs) + 10% (free goods)] = 15,699.

15,699-610,000= -594,301.

This, would be 5H’s proceeds. $594,301, (594,301÷5=) $118,860 each, of debt with labels. Now, let’s imagine a $1 million profit from the seven tours, from which let’s imagine that 5H took 80% on the sale of a ticket price. Not owning their trademark (5H Partnership) yet, and as crappy as their contracts were, let’s imagine they didn’t get any percentage from the tour’s merchandise.

1,000,000-20%= 800,000. By subtracting the debt from this new figure, we get: 800,000-594,301= 205,699.

205,699 + 21 (performance, synchronization, and mechanical royalties earned) + 10,000 (living expenses) = 215,720.

And lastly, by dividing the share equally among the girls, we get: 215,720÷5= 43,144. ß This, would be the final figure of the total dollar earnings per head of 5H’s Better Together era, which I remind you lasted for a year. A spit, basically… But, if the tours hadn’t compensated enough to overcome the label debt, cross-collateralization would’ve occurred. That debt, let’s imagine the same debt that I mentioned earlier, -594,301, would’ve been carried on for the next album if the label had exercised the option of recording another one (-594,301+-594,301= -1,188,602), and the next one (-594,301+-1,188,602= -1,782,903), and so on, more and more accumulating with variations of increases or decreases in the debt figure based on how much the girls would’ve been able to pay off whenever it was possible for them.

Oh and, I forgot. From that figure, that one of the total earnings (215,720), they also had to pay taxes…

Even in this case, I’m gonna only use the real total sales data of the album: ‘Reflection’. And even in this case, I won’t use anything else, although I know they made money from other projects. Therefore, I won’t include the gain on: the two songs they did for the Christmas EP ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ (‘Noche De Paz’ and ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ ß + the video) along with other singers, the collaboration with Clean & Clear for which they recorded a series of commercials to promote their products, the collaboration with Candie’s for which they became the face of the ‘5 Girls, 5 Styles’ campaign by also releasing the promotional song (‘Rock Your Candie's’ + the video), the cover of ‘Uptown Funk’ (+ the video) by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars which they did together with Jasmine V., Jacob Whitesides, and Mahogany Lox to promote the tour, the soundtrack for the movie ‘Hotel Transylvania 2’ (‘I’m In Love With A Monster’ + the video), the song ‘Sin Contrato’ with Maluma, etc., etc. The Reflection era lasted for about a year and seven months, to be more precise, from July 7, 2014, with the release of ‘BO$$’, until February 26, 2016, when they released ‘Work from Home’.

As for Reflection, in America alone, Fifth Harmony sold a total of 142,000 copies at the debut, of which 80,000 were album-equivalent units and 62,000 traditional sales. By February 2016, the album sold 155,000 copies (in America alone), so let’s imagine 93,000 album-equivalent units and 62,000 traditional sales. 93,000x1,500 (the album-equivalent unit) = 139,500,000 streams. 697,500 in royalties from Apple Music. The original price of the album was $9,99, and having sold 62,000 copies of the physical album (CD), we get the sum of (62,000x9,99=) $619,380. The sum of both sales brings us to a total of (697,500+619,380=) 1,316,880 dollars/royalties earned. Since we know that they didn’t hire Dina before the end of December 2015, of those 1,316,880 royalties earned from the album’s sales, let’s imagine that Epic still made 92% of the profits from the girls’ artist royalties. 1,316,880–92%= 105,350. 105,350 royalties that we know didn’t go directly to them without first having subtracting those to be given to the producers (let’s still imagine 3%), to the management managers (let’s imagine 15% because they decrease every year), to the business managers (let’s still imagine 5%), to the lawyer (let’s still imagine 5%), and the recoupment.

Epic recovers: 1) the advance, which let’s imagine to be $400,000. Of these $400,000, $270,000 had to cover: 2) the recording costs, which included the payment for the recording studies (there were three for Reflection), etc.; 3) 50% of the video production costs of the first official single extracted from the album, let’s imagine $80,000 for ‘BO$$’, therefore $40,000; and 4) 50% of the marketing and promotion costs for ‘BO$$’ and the album: radio stations, interviews, etc. Let’s imagine 170,000, therefore 85,000, thus leaving (400,000-270,000-40,000-85,000=) $5,000 as living expenses, (5,000÷5=) 1,000 each.

Then Epic recovers the rest of the money advanced during the Reflection era: 5) the packaging costs, let’s imagine that they’re still 20%, which include the breakage costs, let’s still imagine 10%, and the free goods, let’s still imagine 10%. 3²) 50% of the video production costs for the music videos of the other two single extracts from the album, let’s imagine 65,000 for ‘Sledgehammer’ and 95,000 for ‘Worth It’, (65,000+95,000=) $160,000, therefore $80,000. And lastly, 6) the tour support costs, let’s imagine $500,000 for all three tours (The Reflection Tour, Reflection: The Summer Tour, European Reflection Tour).

Since they couldn’t didn’t co-write anything for this album, the only royalties they earned were artist and synchronization ones (minus let’s still imagine 14% to be given to PRO organizations). 100-14=86. 70% of 86 is 60,2/60. On this album, they have three featuring (‘Worth It’ ft. Kid Ink, ‘Like Mariah’ ft. Tyga, ‘Brave Honest Beautiful’ ft. Meghan Trainor), and for this, we have to subtract let’s imagine 14% of commission royalties collected by SoundExchange, which then deals with distributing them to the featured artists of the songs.

By doing all the calculations:

[400,000 (initial advance) – 5,000 (living expenses)] = 395,000 (recording costs, ‘BO$$’ video, marketing and promotion) + 160,000 (‘Sledgehammer’ & ‘Worth It’ videos) + 500,000 (tour support) = 895,000.

105,350 (artist royalties earned) – 82% [3% (to be given to producers) + 15% (to be given to the management managers) + 5% (to be given to the business managers), + 5% (to be given to the lawyer), + 20% (packaging costs) + 10% (breakage costs) + 10% (free goods) + 14% (collected by SoundExchange)] = 18,963.

18,963-895,000= -876,037.

$876,037, (876.037÷5=) $175,207 each, of debt with labels. Now, let’s imagine a gain of $3 million from the three tours, from which let’s imagine that 5H still took 80% on the sale of a ticket price. Not owning their trademark (5H Partnership) yet, let’s still imagine that they didn’t get anything from the tour merchandise. 3,000,000-20%= 2,400,000. By subtracting the debt to this new figure, we get: 2,400,000-876,037= 1,523,963.

1,523,963 + 60 (synchronization royalties earned) + 5,000 (living expenses) = 1,529,023. And lastly, by dividing the share equally among the girls, we get: 1,529,023÷5= 305,805. This, is the total gain of 5H’s Reflection era, which I remind you lasted for about a year and seven months. Still a spit considering how hard they worked, and considering I didn’t include taxes payment.

Let’s conclude with the real data of the total sales of the album: 7/27. By the end of November 2016, Fifth Harmony sold a total of 1,600,000 copies worldwide, of which 1,075,000 album-equivalent units and 525,000 traditional sales. 1,075,000x1,500 (the album-equivalent unit) = 1,612,500,000 streams. 8,062,500 in royalties from Apple Music. The original price of the deluxe album was $13,99, and having sold 525,000 copies of the physical album (CD), we get the sum of (525,000x13,99=) $7,344,750. The sum of both sales brings us to a total of (7,344,750+8,062,500=) 15,407,250 dollars/royalties earned.

Now, what happened here? Thanks to Dina’s entry, there have been a lot of changes. The first one was the fact that they no longer had Eric Greenspan as their lawyer, but Dina herself and Jessie Winkler (who works for Dina at her law firm, LaPolt Law, P.C.). The second one, the change of management. They used to have Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez from Faculty Management. After: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae from Maverick Management. The third one, their contracts were renegotiated for the better and LAND became the owner of the trademark (5H Partnership) from April 27th, exactly one month before the album’s release, finally being able to earn from their name.

Of those 15,407,250 royalties earned from the album’s sales, let’s imagine that Epic, according to the new agreements made, made 85% of the profits from the girls’ artist royalties. 15,407,250-85%= 2,311,088 royalties which, as we’ve seen, don’t go directly to them without first having subtracted those to be given to producers (let’s still imagine 3%), to management managers (since they were new, let’s still imagine 20%), to business managers (let’s still imagine 5%), to lawyers/Dina&Jessie (let’s still imagine 5%), and the recoupment.

Epic recovers: 1) the advance, which let’s imagine to be $1,000,000. Of this million dollars, 570,000 had to cover: 2) the recording costs, which included the payment of the recording studios (there were two for 7/27), etc.; 3) 50% of the video production costs of the first official single extracted from the album, let’s imagine $250,000 for ‘Work from Home’, therefore $125,000; and 4) 50% of the marketing and promotion costs for ‘Work from Home’ and the album: radio stations, interviews, etc. Let’s imagine 370,000, therefore $185,000, thus leaving (1,000,000-570,000-120,000-185,000=) $120,000 as living expenses, (120,000÷5=) 24,000 each.

Then Epic recovers the rest of the money advanced during the 7/27 era: 5) the packaging costs, let’s imagine that they still are 20%, which include breakage costs, let’s still imagine 10%, and free goods, let’s still imagine 10%. 3²) 50% of the video production costs for the music videos of the other two singles from the album and for the promotional one, let’s imagine 180,000 for ‘All in My Head (Flex)’, 350,000 for ‘That’s My Girl’, and 70,000 for ‘Write on Me’ (180,000+350,000+70,000=) $600,000, therefore $300,000. And lastly, 6) the tour support costs, let’s imagine $800,000.

Even in this case, they couldn’t didn’t co-write anything for this album except for ‘All in My Head (Flex)’, but let’s pretend they didn’t have credit for that song. Therefore, let’s imagine that the only royalties they earned were artists and synchronizations ones (minus let’s still imagine the 14% to give to PRO organizations). 100-14=86. 70% of 86 is 60.2/60. Also on this album they have three featuring (‘Work from Home’ ft. Ty Dolla $ign, ‘All in My Head (Flex)’ ft. Fetty Wap, ‘Not That Kinda Girl’ ft. Missy Elliott), and for this, we have to subtract let’s still imagine 14% commission royalties collected by SoundExchange. By owning their trademark (5H Partnership), they not only earned on merchandising, but they also earned on brand licenses (which vary from 25 to 30% according to the agreements), which they granted to Simco, Epic, Syco, and Sony so that they could use their name associated with the music for the album, the tour, etc. Let’s imagine 27%, to stay on topic.

Since Camila wasn’t part of the partnership, I’m gonna do all calculations in division between her and LAND:

[1,000,000 (initial advance) - 120,000 (living expenses)] = 880,000 (recording costs, ‘Work from Home’ video, marketing and promotion) + 300,000 (‘All in My Head (Flex)’, ‘That’s My Girl’, and ‘Write on Me’ videos) + 800,000 (tour support) = 1,980,000. 1,980,000÷5= 396,000 ©, 396,000x4= 1,584,000 (LAND).

2,311,088 (artist royalties earned) - 87% [3% (to give to producers) + 20% (to give to management managers) + 5% (to give to business managers) + 5% (to give to lawyers) + 20% (packaging costs) + 10% (breakage costs) + 10% (free goods) + 14% (collected by SoundExchange)] = 300,441. 300,441÷5= 60,088 ©, 60,088x4= 240,352 (LAND).

60,088-396,000= -335,912 ©. 240,352-1,584,000= -1,343,648 (LAND).

From LAND’s debt figure, let’s subtract 27% of the earnings occurred thanks to the commissions received from the brand licenses. 1,343,648-27%= 980,863.

Thanks to these calculations, we were able to see that Camila had a debt of $335,912 with the labels, and LAND of 980,863, (980,863÷4=) $245,216 each.

Now, the real box-offices earnings data for the tour are $5,100,000 for 31 concerts. The concerts of that tour, and therefore of 2016 with still Camila, were 58. Including those 27 non-calculated concerts, let’s imagine that the total profit was $5,110,000. Let’s also imagine the merchandising gain was $890,000. $5,110,000, minus, let’s still imagine the 80% profit on the sale of a ticket price, is equal to (5,110,000-20%=) $4,088,000. 4,088,000÷5= 817,600 ©, 817,600x4= 3,270,400 (LAND).

By subtracting the debts to this new figure, we get: 817,600-335,912= 481,688 ©, 3,270,400-980,863= 2,289,537 (LAND).

60 (synchronization royalties earned) ÷5= 12. 12x4= 48. 481,688+12= 481,700 ©. 2,289,537+48= 2,289,585 (LAND).

120,000 (living expenses) ÷5= 24,000. 24,000x4= 96,000. 481,700+24,000= 505,700 ©. 2,289,585+96,000= 2,385,585 (LAND).

2,385,585+890,000 (merchandising earnings) = 3,275,585 (LAND).

These, are the total earnings of the 7/27 era divided among the girls, taxes to be paid not included. Camila: $505,700. LAND: 3,275,585 (3,275,585÷4=) $818,896 each.

Think about ‘FIFTH HARMONY Rehearses before Winning at RADIO DISNEY MUSIC AWARDS!’ takeover recorded in April 2014: Kevin Maher: “Last one on the floor pays $5!”, Lauren the living meme Jauregui: “NOT MEEEE!!!!”

Think about the ‘Fifth Harmony “We’re not rich!"’ interview with Live! Starring … You! posted on April 14, 2014: Camila: “We’re literally more broke than we were before the competition”, Lauren: “EXCUSE ME!!! I can only afford the bus, taxis are expensive!!”, Normani: “We have like Ritz crackers for dinner”, Camila and Normani: “We’re bankrupt”.

Think about the two leaked audios: Lauren: “They’re making decisions on a regular basis, to fuck us over, to make us literal slaves, like literally slaves, Ally” Ally: “I know, I know, I know” Lauren: “We’re doing fucking labor every day and we see nothing”. – Camila: “Sorry I couldn’t come down today. They were actually working us to the fucking bone. We did like, literally five songs”.

Does it all make a little more sense now?

Aaand here we are. I hope you enjoyed it and that this too was worth the long ass reading. I’d like to thank Mari as usual for giving me the opportunity to post on her blog. Thanks, buddy, I really appreciate that 🤗😊

I ❤️ u, guys. Please stay safe. Stay patient. Stay strong. And stay woke, especially for what’s coming in these months. Always with love, F.

__ 💖

#submission #f anon #long ass post #how the music world works

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welllpthisishappening · 4 years

Text

Welllp This Is...Holiday Fic, Version 3.0

Hello, internet! It is December, and that means it is also time to regain our festive feelings through holiday-type fic. Of which I have written just...an absurd amount of. So, before we start slamming on some more keys with inevitable cliches and kissing (and the list of prompts I’m going to post later and maybe start writing tomorrow) here is a wholly self-indulgent, self-promotional list of the copious number of holiday stories I’ve written. Under the cut, because honestly it’s ridiculous.

Multi Chapters

To Make the Season Bright Rating: M Words: 49,683 Chapters: 5

It's just one weekend. At Christmas. In New York. With everyone there. With Killian there. It's fine. Emma doesn't mind – he's always there and she wants him to be there and it'll be good. Great, even. Festive. She's looking forward to it. She just hopes she doesn't do something stupid. Like shout feelings in his face. That probably wouldn't be very festive.

The Gift Receipt Rating: M Words: 46,244 Chapters: 5

It genuinely makes sense in her head. After all, Mary Margaret is being Mary Margaret and Emma just needs five seconds to herself and for her friends to get off her back and saying she can’t talk to Killian Jones because she and Killian Jones once went on a very bad date is the perfect excuse. It’s also not true, but whatever. It works. Until Emma needs to bring someone home for Christmas. To get the entire town off her back. So, she comes up with another plan and another lie and pretending to get back together with a guy she was never actually with will make their inevitable break-up incredibly easy. It makes sense. Seriously. That is, of course, until Killian agrees and there’s far too much pie and radio hits of the 70s and opinions on animated Christmas classics. It gets a little more complicated after that.

Older Now, But Not Done Hoping Rating: T Words: 25,577 Chapters: 3

Killian Jones has lost his festive spirit. It's been forcibly removed by corporate America and private developers and how much alcohol the customers at his bar drink every night. Although, he supposes, that means he's making a profit, but that also feels a little Scrooge-esque and he doesn't have time for visits from ghosts. Because he's suddenly got a whole schedule in front of him, written out and planned by his roommate. To reclaim their mutual and collective festivity. Together. Oh, and he's in love with her. At Christmas. And all the time, really. This is going to be great.

It’s the Thought That Counts Rating: M Words: 27, 178 Chapters: 3

It was, in theory, a good idea. It was, in theory, an absolutely fantastic idea. Because there was still, sometimes, a crisis or two in Storybrooke and nothing would be more chaotic than trying to find a Christmas present on Main Street, while also trying to keep said Christmas present a secret. Ordering gifts on the internet makes sense. It's just a few clicks and online sales and the presents will be there in plenty of time for Christmas to be perfect. Emma and Killian are positive. Except then the presents don't show up and it's Christmas Eve and plan B isn't so much a plan as it is just a bit of pre-holiday desperation and the entire town knows what they're up to.

One Shots

The Best Laid Plains Rating: T Words: 4,040

Emma knows what she wants. And she remembers what the qualifications are. She just needs some help with them. Or: She and Killian once decided they'd only get married if one of them came out with an outlandish proposal.

Following the Recipe Rating: T Words: 3,802

Emma can't bake cookies. That doesn't stop her from engaging in cookie-baking competitions. At Christmas. And Killian is more than happy to help.

Grounded Rating: T Words: 6,064

Being stuck at the airport is the worst at normal times. At Christmas, it's at least ten-thousand times worse. Unless you manage to make friends with the vaguely attractive, frustratingly charming guy sitting next to you in the terminal.

Carol of the [Wedding] Bells Rating: T Words: 7,926

Going to Vegas with your friends for Christmas? Totally normal. Getting married to one of your friends while in Vegas at Christmas? Might take a bit more explaining. Especially when neither one of you can remember it.

More Than You Could Ever Know Rating: T Words: 5,040

It’s the perfect plan. So, she told the new guy at work that she was already married and couldn’t date him. Fine, no big deal. Emma has someone more than wiling to pretend to be her husband and a friend more than willing to do her pre-party hair. She’s certain everything will work out. The very last thing she expects is for Killian to be jealous. Because she might have picked the wrong Jones brother to play doting husband.

Once Again As in Olden Days Rating: T Words: 6,462

She’s absolutely freezing cold. It’s a dumb metaphor, one that only serves to make Emma even more pissed off than she already is. Because two hours ago it was summer. But a few more hours before that, she was also locked in a tower guarded by a fire-breathing dragon. And now she’s outside. With her kid. And a pirate that isn’t hers, explicitly, but keeps staring at her like he wouldn’t mind if he was. So maybe it’s not the worst. Maybe she’ll be able to get warm eventually.

Want Something That Will Last Forever Rating: T Words: 5,093

The weight in his jacket pocket is getting heavier. Burning a hole. A metaphorical one. Because a literal one would probably freak David out and David is already worried enough and Killian is a very good friend. Who is willing to help David plan his proposal to Mary Margaret. Even if it messes everything else up in the process.

A Fair, Even-Handed, Noble Adjustment of Things Rating: T Words: 9,267

Emma just wants to do something good. Give back. Maybe get a few bonus points. Metaphorically speaking. Not the last one. That defeats the purpose of all of this. But she can’t really think straight because he keeps humming and using nicknames and stealing all the flour. And she’d give up all the bonus points she’s, maybe, accumulated by, possibly, doing good if she could just remember what his name is. This is not going the way she planned. At all.

Heart to Heart and Hand in Hand Rating: T Words: 7,052

She was cold. She was tired. She did not want to be ice skating. She wasn’t really ice skating. She was just…kind of standing there – while getting yelled at by security guards and stared at by her boyfriend and they were being pushed off the ice. Not literally. And Emma knew she was being a Grinch or, maybe, just Max the Dog because she wasn’t in control enough to be a Grinch, but Killian wanted to go ice skating and well…fake it ‘til you make it festivity, right?

Kiss Her Once [For Me] Rating: T Words: 9,500

To say that the last year has been hectic would be the greatest understatement in the history of the modern world. Or, like, libel. In print, it’s libel. Because the last year has been filled with political promises and campaigns and far more press conferences than Emma realized were possible. And now, with Washington D.C. ahead of them, the only thing Emma really wants is to figure out how many boxes she’ll need to move all her stuff. That is, of course, until Killian finds her sitting in the middle of Regina’s hallway, a distinct lack of alcohol in her system, and the guarantee that he’s got a plan. For fun. Of the festive variety. It includes mistletoe.

Prompt: Santa!Con Rating: T Words: 2,444

Killian is very drunk. There are people dressed like Santa everywhere. And Emma isn't sure she heard the question correctly. She might be a little drunk too, honestly.

Prompt: Killian Wakes Up Without Any Blankets Rating: T Words: 2,444

He's freezing. Presumably because his wife — who he loves very much — has once again stolen all the blankets.

Tripping Over the Blue Line

A Few Days Off for Christmas Rating: T Words: 11,903

Matt's first Christmas at the brownstone means several things. Chinese food. Bad bread pudding. And unexpected guests.

A Chance of Snow Showers Rating: T Words: 3,372

Everything's a competition on this team. So no one is all that surprised when Killian agrees to race during family skate. Even with a baby strapped to his chest.

Dropping Gloves...In the Name of Festive Fashion Rating: T Words: 3,038

It’s probably one of the more ridiculous things any of them have ever done. It’s also one of the better ideas any of them has ever had – it’s festive and in the spirit and the fans will love it. And maybe it’s kind of fun because it ends with another win and some positive press before the break and Phillip’s jacket is really just…a work of fashion art.

All Knotted Up Rating: T Words: 2,188

He’s never actually done anything like this – brought a girl home for Christmas. No, not just a girl – Emma. Emma was coming to the brownstone for Christmas and the entire Vankald family would be there with traditions and bread pudding and there had to be gifts.

He needed to buy a gift. Or, at least, get a gift. And the list of people who wouldn’t laugh right in his face at the idea of Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers, freaking out about that was growing more and more slim by the minute.

We’ll Take a Cup [Defense] Of Kindness Rating: M Words: 19,204 Chapters: 2

It's one night. New Year's Eve. And a whole list of rules. Because Regina might have actually lost her mind. Or maybe that's just Emma. Because they've played a million games in two days, or it's at least felt that way, and planning an outdoor practice a few weeks before the Olympics seemed like a good idea at one point. Now it just seems insane. So she's going to wear this dress and kiss her boyfriend. A lot. He's good. Better than good. Great. The greatest. It's New Year's Day and, yeah, sure it's freezing, but Killian hasn't actually tried to push Scarlet on the Subway tracks yet so that seems like a step in the right direction. So he's a little distracted a few weeks before the Olympics, but that's fine. It's good. Or it'll be good. Eventually. Soon. In the meantime he's probably just going to kiss his girlfriend. A lot.

First Line Center Rating: T Words: 9,508 Chapters: 2

She hadn’t read the invitation. It hadn’t changed in years, after all - a set of rules and expectations for a New Year’s party that they were all going to break anyway because the most traditional thing about this team was flouting tradition. So, Emma had mostly ignored it. Until. A shout and Killian refusing to wear a tie and something crashing in her kitchen, one kid worried about another and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something. There was a joke about fresh ice to be made, she was sure.

#cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs fic #captain swan fic #there are a lot of words here #and somehow the full week of writing i had got away from me very quickly #so we're going back to the same prompt list as last year to try and regain some sense of productivity #anyway that's coming later #for now here's all the holiday-type kissing i've written already #more blue line than i remembered honestly

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secreteddsworldblog · 3 years

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Can I Buy You A Drink?

Eduardo x M!reader

You really don't know how you thought going to a bar to drink Diet Cola all alone was a good idea. Though you're not really in the right set of mind to make reasonable choices.

You've recently had a mutual break up from a long term relationship. Years, not petty months, walked out the door. Regardless if you were the one who brought up the conversation when confronting your Ex about the change of mannerism towards you it still hurt. You still felt like the Dumpy.

Even a month now since the night it ended you still felt an overwhelming sense of loss. You're no stranger to the feeling though. You've actually had worse relationships you rather not think about unless you want to go into a fit of sobs between Cola sips.

"Another diet cola please," you had already gone through a few cans but didn't want to stop. It's your favorite drink. Why not indulge in things to make yourself better? You're actually really picky with what you drink. Nothing makes it past your lips unless its water, milk, and Cola.

"You've had enough, sir!" The bartender was in the middle of drying a wet drinking glass with a yellowed white rag.

How dare he deny you, you're a paying customer, and in pain, "I know when to stop!"

From just the right distance away to hear the exchange sat Eduardo who was had been deep in thought about his own moarning. He always considered himself a tough man, the definition of machismo, someone who can't be knocked down.

Many would say he has no right to feel the way he does after how he behaved before the life changing event he had to go through. But sometimes it takes a rude awakening to trigger a well needed over due self reflection and change in character.

Eduardo's head perked up the moment he heard a man ask for another diet cola. Who orders diet cola at a bar? Besides him that is. If someone can enjoy a diet cola enough to drink it everywhere then obviously it's someone with good taste like him.

Temporarily getting out of his own head he got up and reached the counter, " Bartender, I DEMAND you bring a pair of diet colas for my friend and I!"

"FINE, Mr Eduardo," the bartender slammed the glass he was working on down and went to get the cold refreshments firmly holding them out, "But this is all either of you is getting tonight."

"Whatever," Eduardo passed one of the cans over to you, "Cheers!"

You'd be lying if you said you didn't feel a little bit of second AND first hand embaressment. It's not everyday a cute rando just comes up and makes somewhat of a scene for you. You have a feeling he's the kind of guy who calls out underpaid fast food joint employees when they put pickles in his friends bugers when they asked for none.

With the sound of a 'Tink' from cans tapping you lightened up a little. It would do you some good to know new people. Not in a thottie way. You've had to move homes for a fresh start, staying in that house with the memories were only going to make things harder for you to recover from, so you're actually in unknown territory.

"So what's a guy like you doing drinking cola all alone?" Eduardo glaced at you from the corner of his eyes still letting the diet cola can hover next to his lips after the first sip. You didn't know what he meant by 'a guy like you'. Though you weren't the most traditionally masculine looking bloke at the bar compared to him. You wouldn't go as far as calling yourself an E-boy but you're definetly decked out in more of a casual alternative attire. Some would call you a pretty boy, like your Ex before he stopped-

"Probably for the same reason you are?" It was strange to see someone else drinking the same thing alone- Unless this is normal for a guy like him. He didn't look like a traditional loner but weirdos come in all sorts of flavors. You knew that fairly well.

Other broken souls in the bar are getting properly drunk and a man out with the boys would only drink non-alcoholic beverages if he's the designated driver.

"I see... You come here often?" He lowered his drink to have his other arm reach over to scratch the back of his head. Eyes avoiding yours.

"No. I'm fairly new 'round these parts," You paused for a second deciding to say something risky, "Do you want me to come here often?" A little flirting never hurt anyone. It might be too soon to get back on the sattle but you weren't looking for anything serious any time soon nor were you planning to go far while you're still healing. You just miss being who you used to be before devoting yourself to you Ex. Your confidence wasn't always real but you'd love to go back to being the cocky flirts you used to be. Seeing just how many people call fall for you knowing you can have absolutely anyone.

Eduardo seemed to almost spit his drink seeing his subtle attempt at hitting on you be returned. "A-Are you serious?" His eyes widened a little looking at you. He must have been on the market and unsuccesful for quite some time hm? He hadn't been seen in a serious relationship since the one with his own Ex, Laurel.

"Why wouldn't I be?" You flex your classic side smirl and eyebrow raise. You might be a little rusty and you could use some practice in the mirror before trying that on anyone else.

Eduardo seem to have trouble thinking of what to say next only to be saved by his phone ringing, "S'cuse me, I have to take this-". On his phone Mark's icon and name popped up.

Mark had it together and seemed to have taken the loss a lot better than Eduardo. He was the more mature one of the trio and because of that he took it upon himself to look after eduardo remaining roommates with him.

As Eduardo went to a less crowded corner of the bar you checked your own phone.

You had roommates of your own. Some pals who ARE locals of this town. One of them even owns a music shop a few blocks form the bar. You couldn't trust yourself to exist alone after the break up so they were nice enough to let you move in as long as you helped around the store and did you part of house chores.

You scoffed at the text from Kasey the other roommate who has an online business and likes to call himself an 'influencer.'

[Kasey]: Are you still being a lil bitch baby? Where are you? Bill and I are going to lock you out of the house if you stay out late again.

With a roll of your eyes you respond back saying you'll be home in a bit. Even though they were nice enough to take you in the dynamic between the three could be considered playfully rude but tipping too close over the line into toxic. Kasey could say 'Fuck you' and you could say 'Eat my ass' then go out for a movie.

"Sorry about that. My roommate was checking up on me". Eduardo sat back down looking at your face wondering why you looked peeved.

Rent must be terrible in this town. It seemed everyone had a roommate. "That's fine. So were mine. I have to split actually-" You got up slyly putting your coat jacket on waiting to see if the man really was interested in you enough to say anything about seeing you again.

"O-Oh wait. How often are you thinking of coming by this spot?" Eduardo didn't have many people to see when he left home. Aside from a stiff friendship with Tom. Since the incident they've bonded over their hatred for Tord. They took turns doing each other's interests like watching a sporting event when it's Eduardo's turn to pick the activity or going to a concert when it was Tom's night. It would usually end in some fight over bashing each others choices but they always silently made up and made plans for another night.

"Mmmm. I don't know really," it was the truth. Even if you were to say what days you'd potentially show up it wasn't for sure. You'd play hard to get but this could become a good friendship. Someone who isn't calling you slurs, reclaimable between you and your roommates among themselves of course, and someone who might actually like you. "Here, let me save my number in you phone-" You reach out placing you hand on his forarm that held the phone testing to see if he'd flinch or push you away from the gentle touch.

Eduardo felt goosebumps from around you touch. You could have sworn you saw a hint of green blush on his face. No one really touches him besides Mark when he pats Eduardo on the back when he things he needs it. "S-sure".

You glided your hand from where it was to his hands sliding the phone out from his grasp. Your brain did a buffer effect when seeing the person that was his lock screen. A guy with small eyes, light brown hair, and blue button up. Who was this? This better not be some unnamed boyfriend. You didn't take him for a cheater. You still saved your number on his phone but took a mental note not to flirt as much until you know for sure the guy was single. Even if it's just casual the last thing you want to be is a homewrecker.

You handed the phone over back to him, "See ya." Okay, you can spare a wink before walking away from him.

Eduardo sat there confused. That really happened. He really got someone's phone number. He took one last sip from his diet cola before setting down the money to pay for their drinks.

Authors note:

What's up fellow LGBTs. I didn't see any xM!Reader content much less for Eddsworld charas so I took it upon myself to actually provide for any of the other losers who simp for Eduardo. Might do a love triangle down the line tho-

#eddswolrd #eduardo eddsworld #x reader #m!reader

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imaginesfora3 · 4 years

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Who Did It First Meme [Sumeragi Tenma]

Who asked who out first?

After some confusion, you’re the one who finally, officially, asked Tenma out. Due to him being a celebrity you were worried about being the one to make the first move, not wanting him to assume you’re trying to take advantage of his status. Tenma never assumed your friendship was fake or based on you wanting anything from him, quietly pining for you and wondering if you’d be willing to deal with everything that came with dating a celebrity. It was an odd middle ground the two of you had reached as you were clearly quite close, craving each other’s company and wanting to make the next move but held back by your own worries about what the other really thought of you. Finally, you figured there was no harm in shooting your shot especially not after the encouragement of some of his good friends at Mankai and your courage is rewarded with a very flustered but very happy Tenma.

Who initiated the first kiss?

Tenma did. He’d done a ‘first kiss’ scene countless times in shows and movies yet it was ten times more intimidating when you were trying to plant one on the person you loved. You didn’t think there was anything extra on Tenma’s mind as he always acted a bit awkward when you cuddled up close, unused to the obvious shows of affection and still getting used to the fact he didn’t have to hide how he felt anymore. It wouldn’t ever be that simple for him to get across all the complicated things he felt for you but the one thing he could do was kiss you, especially after his own cowardice and fear had stopped him from making the first important move in your relationship. It’s a little abrupt and not nearly as romantic as the movie set-ups had it appear but it feels nice to have your lips pressed against his, his heart jumping in his chest when you wrapped your arms around his neck and stole a few more kisses before pulling away.

Who said I love you first?

Tenma did. It slipped out over a long distance phone call, something he wished he could take back as he feels it would’ve meant more if the first ‘I love you’ was in person, but you’d been so upset and he missed you so much that his emotions had taken over. He’d told you that he loved you, that he missed you, promising to take you on the best date you’d ever been on the minute he was home just so you had a little more excitement to look forward to. There’s a piercing silence as he realized what he’d just said, stuttering out, trying to backpedal, stopping to think about the fact that backpedaling might make you assume he didn’t love you when he absolutely did… When you softly ask him if it’s truly how he feels he confirms it, saying he’d wanted to say it at a better time but he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by all the things he felt for you when he’d heard how upset you were.

Who would have the others picture as their phone background?

Tenma doesn’t seem to like to take selfies or pictures often but he likes if you’re the type to want to as it provides him with precious memories to think about while he’s away. Once the world knew about your existence and that the two of you were together he wouldn’t mind having you as his phone background as he doesn’t care who sees that he loves you, though he gets embarrassed and annoyed when people call it ‘cute’ to his face. It’d make his heart flutter to see that you have him as your background, and not just any paparazzi picture you could find online, but one you’d taken of him while you watched him practice or dressed up for one of his plays.

Who proposes?

Tenma does. Proposing was one of the things he thought he’d be good at as he liked to think he had a good romantic sense, and he had been planning on taking you on vacation with him for a long time, so he thought it best to do it then. There was a constant storm of butterflies in his stomach as he was extra careful about not doing anything to ruin the moment, worried about losing the ring during all your travel or having it accidentally exposed while going through the airport or unpacking his luggage. The stress of keeping the surprise under wraps pays off when he takes you to a beautiful, scenic park to set his plans in motion, proud of himself for not faltering once when he lays out his speech that he’d been mulling over for months; he’d practiced for this countless times, both alone and with some of his troupe members who had accidentally overheard him reciting it.

Who does the dishes?

Tenma is always willing to help even if he’s exhausted after a long day, not used to the domestic life but unable to say he entirely dislikes it even if what he’s doing is manual labor. He’s quick and efficient when he helps you out around the house but since he’s gone often enough he doesn’t generally do the chores, meaning he feels guilty when he comes home and tries to take on everything himself despite you not holding it against him. Tenma had never had a particularly happy and healthy home so he wanted to assure no negativity was brewing under the surface as the last thing he wanted you to think was that he took you for granted.

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning?

Tenma is generally the first awake but some mornings he can hardly drag himself out of bed unless he has practice to attend to. He says you’re unbelievably comfortable to sleep next to and though he prefers keeping to his schedule even when he doesn’t have plans for the day, he can’t help but cuddle up with you and wait for you to wake him up. You always tease him that he has an old man schedule as he prefers going to bed at a decent time every night, too, always falling asleep on you when you convince him to stay up a few hours later to watch a movie with you.

Who gets to pick the movie type on movie nights?

Tenma’s not a movie buff despite being an actor but there are a few things he hears about through the grapevine that grab his interest, suggesting them should you have nothing else you want to watch. He hates watching movies that he stars in but he begrudgingly agrees to watch one if you really want to, acting embarrassed but secretly being full of pride whenever you compliment his acting. It feels a little disconcerting to watch romance scenes with a person who isn’t you but it’s quickly remedied when you turn to him with an amused look and ask him to re-enact a few cute love scenes he’s been in.

Who lavishes the other one in gifts?

Tenma always gets you a souvenir from the new places he goes to, even if he prefers when he gets to bring you along with him to pick something out yourself. He tries not to simply shower you with gifts as he feels like it’s not why you’re with him and he fears that you’ll think he’s trying to buy your affection, but he can’t help but think of you when he sees things he knows you’ll love or appreciate. He has a giving nature and if there’s a chance that what he’ll get you will be like a little slice of sunshine in your life or somehow make it easier, he really doesn’t care how much it costs.

Who worries more about the other?

You worry that Tenma pushes himself too hard, that his parents might have such high expectations that he’s going to burn himself out trying to reach them, but this evens out more as you grow older together. Tenma’s quite mature even if he can be emotionally stunted at times and you’re there for him in ways that his parents might not have been. Tenma just has a daily set of worries when it comes to you that are more basic in nature, like wondering if you ate properly that day or if you had a restful sleep that night; you tell him he acts like a mother hen often but you don’t really mind as it’s his own way of showing he cares about you. You worry about each other a healthy amount but you’ve both learned to be open and honest with each other. Tenma still struggles with wearing his heart on his sleeve but if it’s you, he knows you won’t take advantage of him.

#Sumeragi Tenma #Tenma Sumeragi #A3 #A3!#Act! Addict! Actors!#A3 Imagines #Sumeragi Tenma x Reader #Tenma Sumeragi x Reader #Who Did It First Meme

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #426

“insatiable furnace, burning up our surplus / watching all essential life become another servant”

Are you a brunette? Yep. It is way past due time that I get it dyed... What is your favorite channel on TV? I don't really watch TV, but if I did, I'm pretty sure it'd probably be Discovery. Have you ever been to Chicago, IL? Yes!! It's my only experience with a truly BIG city, and though I'm not a city person, the experience was pretty magical. It was something I wasn't even remotely used to. Just so much life and business and energy to feel there. Who was your first friend? Brianna. She was the sister of my older sister's best friend. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. :') Do you regret your last kiss? Nope. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Who was the last person to tell you ‘I love you’? My mom. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Do you live on your own? Noooo. I don't think I ever could. I would have to stay VERY busy, or else the loneliness would kill me. Hell, even if I was very active in stuff, I still don't know if I could. With how bad my depression is capable of being, it doesn't sound smart at all for me to move out unless it was with somebody. Are your the oldest child? No, I'm the middle kid. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Two, maybe? One for my legs and the other for my teeth. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah, we're best friends. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? Nah. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? ... yes lol. What subjects in history interest you most? The Holocaust. It's just so... shocking and extreme that it's oddly fascinating, but of course horribly sad. Are you superstitious in any way? Nah. How do you get rid of anxiety? Do what? Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? Yeah, my two rings, my lip piercing, and tragus piercing. Has a song ever made you cry before? There are many. ^If so, what about it brought you to tears? Again, I said "many," so this would be a horribly long list. There are four though - "Eternally Yours" and "Another Life" by Motionless in White, "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, and "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides - that I really, really try to avoid, because I WILL cry. They're all associated with Jason for one reason or another. "Stairway to Heaven," especially, is absolutely forbidden for me to listen to. Would you consider yourself open-minded? Very, honestly. Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? I've met Sara! :') There are a handful of others I'd love to meet, too. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. Wow, I have no idea. I don't remember the last time I laughed THAT hard. When you graduate, what color will your gown be? Ugh, it was this insufferable red. We got to vote on it, and I really wanted navy instead, as it looks more formal and not as obnoxious to me, but red won. Do you own a gun? No. My household legally can't because of my suicidal history. What color of shirt are you wearing? It's a black tank top. Do you use any acne medication? Nah, I don't really get acne anymore. Are you emotional or very stoic? I'm emotional as shit. Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? A few. There's Fullmetal Alchemist (as well as the Brotherhood expansion), Deadman Wonderland, and Ginga Densetsu Weed. I've seen bits of others. Which baby animal is your favorite? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Once they reach three/four weeks, they're fucking precious. I also really like kittens. Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? Sometimes. Have you ever reread a book? It is very, VERY rare I do this. The only cases I remember are for Because of Winn-Dixie and Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Do you have any religious symbols in your home? I think Mom has some religious quotes on the walls? What religion do you identify with, if any? None. What is you favorite flavor of pudding and/or yogurt? I love chocolate pudding, but I'm not very big on yogurt because of the sourness. I can sometimes eat a cookies 'n cream one, but occasionally I'm like "ew." We’re going to the best amusement park ever, first ride you choose is? One of those water rides where you go down a big slope. Did you have intense night terrors as a child? No. Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? No. That'd be dope. Have you ever had a piercing get infected? Ugh, yes. Worst was the first time I got my tongue pierced. It was early into infection though, thank God; I ended up having to take it out and get it re-pierced later. Have you ever shoplifted? No. Do you hate when people say, "Everything’s going to be fine,“ when it’s not? Sometimes. It can feel kinda dismissive of your extreme situation, and sometimes, things simply won't be okay. Like, you can't tell that to someone on their death bed. Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? No, oops. Are you a shorts-wearing kind of person? Absolutely not. Nobody wants to see my legs, not even me. Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? My grandma's sure as hell was. She was very old-fashioned and "proper" and took cleanliness and manners very seriously. Do you know how to jumpstart a car? Nope. Would you date someone 8 years older than you? Probably. What did you do today? I WENT TO THE GYM AND DID A FULL HOUR OF EXERCISE!!!!! :') For once I am SO fucking proud of myself. I left drenched in sweat, but I also left with a feeling of great accomplishment. I'm going to be going twice a week now with a personal trainer. (: Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. People doing that shit terrifies me. Have you ever felt replaced? Sure have. Have you ever kissed someone who was high? No. If you caught your significant other cheating on you what would you do? I don't have a partner, but hypothetically, leave their ass in a blink. I don't fuck with those kind of people. Do you know who Jeffree Star is? Well, yes. I watch him on YT sometimes and (astonishingly) love his music, and I find his work ethic extremely inspiring. That man knows how to hustle. What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage? Probably sangrias. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? "The" ex, it's been years. I've removed all pictures I have of him, irl and digitally, because it's triggering for me. How many push-ups can you do? Probably zero. Do you play any games on your phone? There's Pokemon GO, DragonVale, and Dragons of Atlantis that I play semi-regularly. Have you ever received a compliment from a stranger? Yes. Have you ever shaved your face? Just my upper lip to avoid the lady stache, ha ha. What colour is your front door? It’s white. Do you take the stairs or the elevator? If an elevator is available, I will ALWAYS use that. I have an extreeeemely hard time getting up stairs because of having just about no leg muscle. Do you get motion sickness? No. When was the last time you went to your favourite restaurant? Oh man, it's been forever. :/ Olive Garden sounds soooo good right now. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Well, Mom has her earlobes pierced once, but that's it. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? It's funny, even though he hasn't been a part of my life for years, I still desperately crave what I think would make Jason proud. There have been many times where my mind has wondered to what he would think of me now... and I know it's not good. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Reading. When was the last time you felt hopeful, and why? Today, after finishing my workout at the gym. I think, finally, that I may be taking another stride forward in life. Do you find yourself asking for the same things for your birthdays and for holidays? Ha, yup: a new tattoo, 100%. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? Girt's recommended some music to me before. He loves sharing songs he likes with me. Of course I didn't tell him it sucked, ha ha. What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? She is very passionate about animals, reptiles in particular, and is simply amazing with them. If you had a child, would you rather have a girl or a boy? A girl for sure. Has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs? No. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Honestly, do you think that you will wanna settle down in the same town you’re currently residing in? HELL no. I hate this place. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara does sometimes. Are you close to any of your cousins? No. Are you a romantic person? I think I am. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? NO BUT FUCK I WANT THAT. Just lay in a grassy spot with some s'mores or something and just ~vibe~. Do people like your hair? I get complimented on it a bit. Have you ever held birdseed and a bird came and ate out of your hand? Yeah, at a bird sanctuary. Could you ever live in Alaska? Hell yeah, I'd enjoy that. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? There's one by a WoW gold maker, a song by 3TEETH, and a video of bullsnakes hatching. Do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on Myspace/Facebook? Couldn't care less. I only "friend" people I know and care about. Does your significant other have any piercings? I'm single. Do you ever get bored of yourself? Oh, all the time. I feel like I'm extremely dull and plain and, well, boring. How many band shirts do you own? Which? Oh goodness, I have no idea. I own a lot. Do you go to shows mostly for the music, the moshing, or the merchandise? I go for the music. It's nice to buy merch, but it's SO expensive that it's dumb. Moshing, I think is just stupid. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? Many places, actually. So many holes closed because piercings had to be taken out when I was in the psych hospital. I was so annoyed. Who were you with the first time you watched the last movie you watched? I was alone. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? No. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? One. Is your mom a good mom? She is the actual best. Last thing you threw in the garbage? The crust of some leftover pizza I had this morning. I generally eat the crust, but this time it was WAY too hard.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

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helpibrokemybrain · 3 years

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writing-prompt-s facelessnamelessanarchist Follow

Follow welcomedhappiness Farewell online privacy

Follow tikalgirl What happened?

xdvisyrx Trump happened.

Follow pizzaalle just get a VPN?

Follow earth-ruins You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do! So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do? A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it) But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit) Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want). Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey. The ISP still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security. There is still more danger! Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs More about law The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst): The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source) There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better). You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries. If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page. Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/ Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part

of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also, there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest) Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy) This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously. EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research!

writing-prompt-s I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it.

Follow rabbittiddy Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

Follow thecrystalfems He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

Follow coltrer Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

Follow imthedoctor12 @earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

writing-prompt-s If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruinsadvice. Do your own research first.

writing-prompt-s @elvesfromthedeep just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). SourcesAnger as US internet privacy law scrapped Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

Follow greeneyespurpleheart Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass. With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN. Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

joyfuldefender Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

Follow li-ionsandtigersandbears Reblogging again bc this is important

Follow mermaidz4ever We have a VPN you should get one too

killmongersbaby Please read.

Follow bae-in-maine Can you get them for your phones?

Follow kika-lei ^ you can. & when you have a subscription you can use it on your phone and computer. no need for separate subs or purchases. it is absolutely so important for safety. but one of my fave things to do with my vpn is access non-US netflix. I mean other places have all the new good place eps, all the ‘classic’ bggo eps…

i-cant-remember-who-i-am IMPORTANT

Follow theriflemanofroblox reblogging so new people can be aware :)

Follow facelessnamelessanarchist Long as hell, but read it!!!

Source: welcomedhappiness

————————— I found this post and I thought it was important but tumblr wouldn’t let me reblog it for some reason so I copy/pasted it because I’m not very tech savvy

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darquedeath4444 · 4 years

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Naruto Fantasy Week - Day 2 - Mythical/Monstrous

For @naruto-fantasy-week

Day 2: Mythical/Monstrous

Team Seven

Kakashi moves into a supposedly empty mansion, only to find out that it is inhabited by a possibly crazy trio of kids.

====

It is the growing feeling of being crushed, unique to a busy city, that drives Kakashi away from the concrete jungle and to a more rural area. He still has work so he can't move far, but luckily an hour by car from the heart of the metropolis lands him in the countryside. Jiraiya, an old family friend, had offered to lend one of his many mansions to him and Kakashi had seen no reason to not take it.

Jiraiya's mansion, now temporarily his, is located a little up in the mountains. There are a handful of other mansions located nearby, but they are far enough away that unless Kakashi actively goes looking, he will most likely never meet their occupants.

The key Jiraiya had handed him along with the address is big and old fashioned, and Kakashi finds himself increasingly excited as he pulls up in front of his new living space. Large wooden double doors mark the entrance of the place, and there is a satisfying click when he unlocks them.

The inside is dark, but there is enough light for Kakashi to make out a large set of stairs on the far side of the entrance. There are doors leading both left and right, and he can see the mouth of a corridor at the top of the stairs.

He cannot wait to explore.

Somebody purposefully clears their throat and Kakashi’s head whips up. A girl dressed in a witch outfit is perched on the rails of the second floor. How had he missed such a big, pointy hat during his first scan of the room?

“Oh my, are you lost?” The girl asks. “You look lost. I guess that makes you mine.”

Kakashi stares, but before he can tell her that Halloween is months away, another voice cuts in from behind him.

“He’s clearly an intruder. That makes him mine.”

Kakashi freezes and slowly glances over his shoulder. A raven-haired boy stands with his back against the doorframe. He wonders if the dramatic fluttering of his cloak had been an available upgrade that came with the online bought vampire outfit.

The girl lets out a scoff. “You said that about the last guy!” She exclaims angrily. “Thanks to you we no longer get the newspaper!”

“He smelt like an intruder!”

“And clearly we can’t trust your sense of smell!”

“Or maybe, he’s a visitor?” A third voice chirps in from the top of the stairs. A blond boy stares down at him with bright blue eyes and a friendly grin plastered onto his face. “Say, are you the guy the pervy old man said would be living here from now on?”

“Wait, really?” The girl pushes herself off the ledge and Kakashi feels his body moving towards her automatically because the fall from her height will be sure to break her ankles, despite knowing he will never get there in time, only to skid to an abrupt half and take two steps back because she lands nimbly on some surface he clearly cannot see a little above the actual floor.

Of course there is an invisible ground there, because what, was she standing on air?

The girl skips over and leans into his face. “They look nothing alike,” she says.

“No one said they were related,” the Vampire wannabe says. “Just that they were family friends?”

“Something like that.” The blond hops onto the handrail of the stairs and gracefully slides down. “What’s your name again? Bakashi?”

“Kakashi,” the pink girl says. She elbows the blond. “Be nice.” The wolf boy chuckles. “Right, sorry about that.”

Kakashi hears the sharp sound of heels clicking on wood, and the vampire boy is behind him. “Why’re you wearing a mask?” He asks. “Are you sick? Do you have a cold? We don’t want human colds here.”

The blond laughs. “More like the remedy to said colds come from Sakura and they make you wish you’d rather suffered through a few coughs-”

The girl, Sakura, whacks the blond upside the head. “Rude,” she snaps. “That’s not what you said the last time you ate something weird and wanted something for your upset stomach.”

“That’s cause the idiot eats anything he finds,” the raven says. “Like an idiot.”

“What did you say bastard?”

“Boys,” Sakura says, and Kakashi gets the impression that she is used to this.

“Uh, can I ask a question?” He asks slowly.

The blond turns to him. “Yeah, sure?”

“Who are you?”

“Oh.” The boy scratches the back of his head. “Right, we didn’t say. I’m Naruto, the bastard over there is Sasuke, and the pink chic-girl, the pink girl is Sakura.”

Sakura slowly lowers her clenched fist, a tight smile on her face. “Nice to meet you, Kakashi.”

“Hn.”

Kakashi feels a headache coming. “And why are you here? Do you know Jiraiya?”

Naruto brightens. “Yeah! He used to be our link to the human world, but recently he said something about writing a book? So we were looking for a replacement and BAM, here you are.”

Kakashi blinks. Link to the human world? “So you are a bunch of shut-ins?”

“What, no!” Sakura exclaimed. “What gave you that impression?”

Kakashi pointedly looks at their outfits and from the way the girl blushes she knows what he is trying to say.

“Well, we don’t actually have to dress like this, but it gets us in the mood, you know? Besides, it was you humans that imagined us to be like this, so if you’ve got a complaint, go take it up with your ancestors or something.” She flicks the tip of her hat. “Like, what is this even for?”

“At least you can find a look for yourself without having to look like a dirty mop!” Naruto retorts. “Half the stuff I’ve got to look through has chest hair.”

“Fur,” Sasuke says. “I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be fur.” The boy is standing straight with his cloak wrapped around himself, like a vampire from a movie. He is repeatedly biting his lip and, as Kakashi watches, finally seems to grasp the ‘one visible sharp tooth’ thing.

“You don’t even have to change your wardrobe,” Naruto continues. “You’re all black and doom and gloom, to begin with.”

Sasuke scoffs. “Admit it, you’re just jealous this looks good on me.” He tilts his head a little and Kakashi has to admit, he can be the promotion character to a Halloween party or something.

“You know, that set included gloves too?” Sakura says offhandedly. “But it was such a bother to get the ketch-blood, it was such a bother to get the blood out every single time, so we scrapped it.” She claps her hands together. “Anyways, we didn’t know you were arriving so soon, Kakahi,” she says. “We were planning to clean the place up a bit, maybe get something nice to eat?”

“Like a welcoming party!” Naruto chirps.

Sakura ignores him. “But since you came early without notice, we’ve got none of that done. The place is a mess, not that anyone seems bothered by it.”

“You’re the one with the broom,” Naruto says.

Sakura looks offended. “You want me to clean with it? How would you feel if I swept the floor with your tail?”

“Sad.”

“Exactly.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Anyways, what she means to say is, absolutely nothing is prepared for your arrival. Unless you have food on you, you’re going hungry tonight.”

“Did you just assume what she was going to say?”

The two boys start bickering again and Kakashi feels the strength leave his body in one go. He staggers backwards, scrambling for his phone, to talk to Jiraiya, to try and make sense of anything. He turns on his phone and is met with the message screen. He scrolls down to the text Jiraiya had sent him, the one with the address on it, and he scans through it.

Hi Kakashi!

I’ve attached the map and the address to the message, just in case. The place is in good condition, I’ve made sure of it. There’s no other person occupying the place, so use it as you like. All I ask if for you to take up the small project I left behind, it’s nothing too difficult. You’ll see when you get there and you’ll come to love it I’m sure.

Anyways, that’s all for now. I’ll see you sometime soon!

“Jiraiya mentions nothing about occupants in his house,” he said. “I don’t doubt you know him, but are you supposed to be here?”

“Lemme see that.” Naruto snatches the phone from him and squints at the screen. “Uhh...ah! See, he says ‘no other person’. Person. There is definitely no other person here.”

Kakashi pointedly looks at him and Naruto grins. “Person. We’re not persons-”

“People,” Sasuke corrects.

“Shut it. As I was saying, we’re definitely not people.”

Kakashi rolls his eyes. “What, you classify as a vampire, witch, and-” he stares at Naruto. “Cat man?”

Sasuke chokes on his spit and Sakura has a smile on her face.

“What? I’m a wolf!” Naruto says indignantly.

“Right, anyways, you say you’re not people.”

The three of them nod.

“And you, what, live here?”

“That’s right,” Sakura says. “We work here too.”

Kakashi is left stricken once again, but the three in front of him seem to take this as the end of his questions.

“Now that’s done with, let’s move onto the tour!” Naruto grabs him by the shoulder and begins pushing him towards the stairs. “There’s a lot to see, and a whole bunch of things to be careful of. You don’t want to step onto the third-floor cause that’s the attic and Sasuke’s occupied the entirety of it as his lair or something. You might want to be careful of which room you pick as yours too, cause the bats aren’t very smart and they hit the windows when they’re trying to head in for the day. The far wing is Sakura’s area and she makes a whole load of weird stuff. She claims they're potions and whatnot but I swear she’s just mixing poison to mess with the rest of us. Regardless, the air there is nasty. If you’re not careful you might wake up the next day with a hand growing out of your stomach.”

"I suggest staying out of the dungeons as well,” Sakura helpfully says. “It smells like a pack of wet dogs down there. Unless you wish to never be able to smell anything for the rest of your life, stay far away.”

“And buy earplugs then next time you go down to the city,” Sasuke adds. “Because ear pain-inducing howling is apparently what passes as singing among his kind.”

Kakashi’s brain chooses that moment to decide that it is officially overloaded. He faints.

====

Kakashi wakes up to a comfortable bed and an unfamiliar ceiling. There is an eerie smoke wafting around and he turns his head slowly, catching a glimpse of Sakura approaching him with a cup in hand.

“How’re you feeling?”

Kakashi thinks this over for a second. “No idea, honestly.” Sakura laughs and holds up the cup. “It’s water. You can ask questions, I’ll try to answer them.” Kakashi sits up and gratefully takes the cup. He drinks until it is empty. “Where’s…” He waves a hand.

“Naruto and Sasuke?” Sakura takes the cup from him and places it on the bedside table. “A client came by, so they’re dealing with her.”

“Client?”

Sakura nods. “I said we work here too, remember?”

“Right. You never said what you do though.” Kakashi looks around. The room he is in is small but well furnished. There is a doorway that leads off somewhere, and a shelf stocked full of something near it. The curtains are open and he can see that the sun is already setting. “How long was I out for?”

“Just a few hours. And yeah, we didn’t, but you didn’t ask.”

Sakura is smiling at him happily, and Kakashi swallows. “Oh, so, what do you do?”

The girl claps her hands together. “This gets a little long, but you know? So, there’s this woman, she’s called Tsunade. She’s like our leader. And where we come from, we’re put into groups of three. Our group was me, Naruto and Sasuke, and Tsunade, she didn’t like us very much. Well, I think she liked me because I was her apprentice and everything, but Naruto and Sasuke got into a lot of trouble. One day, Tsunade decided that she was done with them, and by extension me, and she sent us off to solve cases out in the human world before she considers taking us back-”

“I’m sorry, wait a second.” Kakashi notes that Sakura is not a very good storyteller. “So, this Tsunade is your leader, and as punishment or something she sent the three of you here to solve cases.”

Sakura slowly nods through his analysis. “Yup.”

“Where did she send you off from?”

“Our house. We lived in a big mansion, but she kicked the three of us out.”

“Right, and what do you mean by ‘cases’?” “We’re like private consultants!” Sakura turns to look at the clock located above the doorway. “Like, our current client is Ino. We know her from back home, by the way. She’s a siren, see, and recently some human dude’s been pestering her. Probably a victim to her voice, the poor bloke. Some people are just more sensitive to it. Anyways, she came by for something to make him more resistant to the pull, so I’m whipping together a potion to do just that. You could call us troubleshooters for those of our kind who live out in the human world.”

“And by your kind, you mean…”

“The supernatural,” Sakura says. “The magical, the fantasy, the mythical and monstrous.”

Kakashi swallows. He is either stuck in the grasps of a trio of crazy kids, or he is stuck in the grasps of a trio of creatures he had previously thought only to exist in books and movies. “Does Jiraiya know about this?”

“Of course! He’s actually a close friend of Tsunade’s. They drink together a lot. He’s in the human world a lot yeah? And he’s well known there too. When there’s a particularly difficult case that needs a shove from the human side he’s the one we usually talk to.” She gets to her feet. “Give me a second, I need to go check the cauldron.”

The girl vanishes through the doorway and Kakashi stares after her. Seconds later, he hears a platter of footsteps and Naruto bursts through the door. “Sakura-chan! Oh, Kakashi! You’re awake! Perfect timing!” Sakura sticks her head out from the other room. “I’m almost done. If the pig’s complaining, tell her she can-”

“No, no!” Naruto rushes towards her. “Gaara’s here, like we promised.”

Sakura raises both eyebrows. “I didn’t think he’d come,” she admits.

“Well, I never doubted.” Naruto is grinning, and Kakashi assumes this is another case. Sakura smiles at her friend’s enthusiasm. “Well, he came at a good time. Kakashi’s up and ready to go.” Kakashi blinks. “Me? Go where?”

Naruto rolls his eyes. “Gaara’s house, duh.”

“Why?”

“Gaara’s like us, but it’s a little weird cause he seems artificial. We suspect he was once human, and someone forcefully planted a supernatural into him.”

“Why?” Was that even possible? “How?”

Naruto laughs. “That’s what you’re going to go find out.”

Kakashi cannot see where this is going. He doesn't know how it had come to this. “No?”

“We tracked down Gaara’s family, but we need someone to go look into it. You’re human, you’re perfect for the role!”

“What? No, I-I don’t-you can’t-” Kakashi wants to pull his hair out. He wants to faint again, because then at least he doesn’t have to think at all. “Can’t you just, like, can’t Sakura make a truth serum or-or-Sasuke go turn them into vampire slaves by sucking their blood or something?”

Somewhere, somehow, he has begun talking and thinking as though he has accepted that they are supernatural. He does not even question it.

“We can’t hurt humans,” Sakura tells him. “Unless they deserve it, of course. That’s one of the rules Tsunade put in place.”

Naruto gives his shoulder a pat. “Come on, Kakashi. It’s late today and I know you humans need sleep, so you can go tomorrow. I’ll have Gaara write down the address or something.” “Gaara should stay the night too,” Sakura says. “Like you said, it’s late.”

“Cool! I’ll go tell him that. Sasuke’s entertaining him right now.”

Sakura hands the blond a bottle. “Give that to the pig while you’re at it.”

Kakashi blinks. He is done, he decides. He thanks whatever resides above the clouds when he faints a second time.

Naruto Fantasy Week Master List

#narutofantasyweek #Team 7 #sasuke #sakura #naruto #kakashi #yeah they be up to a lot of shenanigans #i drew something for this one #but i didn't finish it sooo #hopefully it'll be done by halloween

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jencsi · 3 years

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As much as it kills me to make a CSI reference, when Grissom told Sara she needed to find a hobby outside of work to do, and she didn’t seem capable of doing so at that moment in her life, I understand it now. I have tried so hard to get into photography, more specifically bird photography, among other things like writing and such, but I have once again spent an afternoon exploring a “nature trail” only to be disappointed by guess what, the lack of nature. I can hear plenty of birds but never see them let alone get an opportunity to photograph them. I feel like I now wasted money buying the new DSLR because the zoom still isn’t what I need so I’ll need to shell out up to $1600 for a legit telephoto wildlife lens. Every other hobby I’ve tried to invest in has also left me more disappointed than satisfied. Working is the only satisfactory thing for me because I get decent results with our store sales and I get paid obviously.

But it is also a big reason why I think so many people are addicted to social media because it has also been one of the only other fulfilling things in my day to day life. Tik Tok especially has drawn me in. There’s nothing to disappoint on these various sites. There’s nothing to hurt us except maybe online bullies and threats and false info. But if you find the cool stuff, you can just melt your entire day away watching nonsense videos. But if you’re like me, a pushing thirty (or younger) millennial and heck even teens these days, and you live in a sub par location (boring ass suburb of Detroit) and you want to do something fun, there really isn’t much out there. And the stuff that is out there requires money and travel and a way to drive or fly that not everyone has access to. At the same time, creating suburban nature trails that don’t even house what the sites claim they do, is just disappointing as well.

Unless you’re really good at a sport or skill like building stuff, hobbies and ways to kill time are absolutely 100% dictated by where you live and how much money you have.

So yeah, Gil wanting Sara to get a life outside law enforcement, bro she probably tried and found everything else just as draining and stuck to what worked for her; work.

#personal #life #hobbies #Gil and Sara #she was right #depression #I just don’t know how much more disappointment I can take #or how much more time and money I can afford to waste on hobbies that don’t make me happy #I’ve already had to drop CSI and writing for it #even watching it just makes me angry #don’t even get me started on the reboot #yet I can’t undo the years of my brain defaulting to it #being thirty sucks #I still don’t know where I belong #and if I hadn’t been such a tv show junkie #maybe I’d have some real life friends

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aromanticautobot · 4 years

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OptiRatch Concept: Ratchet goes out for a drink by himself one late night after work. He sees a mech slip something into a young archivist's drink, and he rushes to the rescue. (How Ratchet met Orion)

After a long, grueling shift at the hospital, Ratchet would often get a drink. A job in the medical care field is emotionally and physically draining, especially after hours upon hours of being trapped in those bright corridors with the sick and unwell. Ratchet's processor would remain fired up, analytical and trained to catch every detail well into the night if he didn't take the edge off. Hard focus and stress will do that to you. There was a cozy bar not too far from the hospital, tucked between a train station and a cosmetic shop, and right across from a decently nice hotel. Drunken mechs would usually sit at the windows and whistle and howl at the newly polished bots that left the shop. The bar was a very common place to pick up onenight stands and cute, flirty bots looking for a good time.

Ratchet was never into socializing whenever he was in the bar. It was always late, he was always tired and drained, seeking out a buzz before he retreated home and slept. He was a regular at that bar for that purpose, and the only mech that ever recognized him was the gruff bartender.

He took his usual seat at the bar, waving to the mech and setting a few credits on the counter. This was a busier night, there was more of a crowd, more loud voices and more loud music. That meant Ratchet wouldn't stay for long. He wasn't much of a partier.

The bartender slid a cube over to him, nodding his helm in a silent greeting before making his way around to other customers. That was about as friendly as he got.

Sipping his cube, Ratchet shifted his weight and moved his sore pedes a little. It felt good to be off of his feet, even for a short while.

When it was this late, bots tended to be more drunk and more rowdy. Ratchet had learned not to make eye contact, he had learned from his experiences of mechs attempting to pick fights with him to impress the dolled up date they picked up from the cosmetics shop. Ratchet had learned to stare at his drink while he sat.

Perhaps it was fate that led him to glance up this one time. Perhaps his neck cables were sore from looking down for too long, and he needed to stretch them.

His optics found the very pretty sight of a small archivist, sitting at the bar a stretch down from him. The mech was red and blue, his paint decently kept, he was no diva from the nextdoor shop, but he was well groomed. He looked small, sitting with his servos clasped in his lap, legs pressed together. He looked adorably shy.

His attention bought, Ratchet leaned to rest his chin on his servo to watch the sweet looking mech. Big, round optics, a shy smile, a pretty, well curved frame and a cute aft. The archivist was nice to look at. Taking another sip, Ratchet contemplated walking over and striking up a conversation. He could be quite the charmer when he felt like it. . . He could converse, buy him a drink, exchange contact information. . .

Yes, he wanted to talk to the pretty archivist.

The stool creaked as he rose off of it, but before he could take his first step, a large green mech took a seat beside the archivist and handed him a drink.

Oh.

A little bummed, Ratchet sat back down and took a long drink of his cube. That's alright, he was a bit tired to charm a mech anyway.

The bartender refilled his cube when he finished the first drink, grumbling when he recieved a very small tip.

Ratchet was about a quarter in to his new drink when out of the corner of his optic, he noticed the same archivist as before, that had been completely sober, sitting up tall and timid, was seemingly completely wasted. He stumbled and fell flat as he got out of his seat, knocking a cube of energon onto a nearby femme and making her shriek angrily.

Strange, Ratchet thought to himself, watching the small mech grip the counter to haul himself back up. He only had that one drink.

The green mech from before came to his aid, slipped an arm around his waist and hoisted him up, supporting most of his weight. He tossed a couple credits to the femme, smiling apologetically, before pulling the archivist towards the door.

Ratchet set his cube down and watched intently. He had been watching that archivist, he was absolutely certain that the one cube was all that the mech had. One cube wasn't enough to reduce a mech to THAT state, he couldn't be completely drunk from one drink, unless- FRAG, was he drugged?

Leaving his high grade on the counter, he slid off the seat and ran for the door, the stool rotating and squeaking as he left. Pushing a couple dancing mechs out of the way, he made it through the heavy bar doors, and into the street.

"N-N. . . No. . . Sssss. . . Stop. . ."

The archivist's slurred voice was barely audible over the voices in the bar. Ratchet broke into a sprint, watching the green mech drag the resistant archivist into an alleyway.

"Hey!" He shouted, and the mech stopped, turning to watch him approach. He slowed to a stop as he neared them, suddenly regretting his decision. His spell of bravery seemed to be over, he had thoughtlessly charged after the pair, and now, standing before them, he had no idea what to say.

"What?" The green mech said impatiently. "I'm trying to get my friend home."

"I watched you drug his cube," Ratchet lied. "I've called the authorities. If you run now you won't be caught."

The mech hesitated before scoffing. "You misunderstand, this is my friend. We were just out for a drink, and he got a little carried away." He laughed a little, but it wasn't too convincing. "You know how some bots are. I told him to slow down, but here we are."

"He's your friend, is he?" Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest. "What's his name, then?"

Another moment of hesitation before the mech spoke, "Bluezone. His name is Bluezone. We work together."

"N-No-" The barely conscious archivist was weakly pushing at his chestplating, resisting against the arm supporting him. "N- I'mmm. . . Orrrion. . . Or. . . Pax. . ."

"That's his nickname." The green mech sputtered before Ratchet could say anything.

"P-please. . . Let. . ."

"They'll be here any minute." Ratchet said with confidence, despite the fact that he hadn't called anyone. "If you don't want to be charged with attempted rape, you ought to be running."

They stared each other down for a moment, and for a second, Ratchet worried that the mech would call his bluff.

But the mech simply shoved the archivist off of himself and bolted for the train station, brushing against Ratchet roughly as he ran past him.

"Frag!" Ratchet stared after him briefly, before looking down at the small mech he had saved. "Are you okay?"

"Please don't. . . Please don't touch. . . Mmm. . . Me. . ." The archivist was shakily trying to push himself off the ground. Tears were running down his cheeks.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." A pang of sympathy pulsed in Ratchet's field. "Can I help you up?" A weak nod answered him. He took the archivist's arm and pulled him upward, taking the majority of his weight and leading him back towards the bar. "Does anyone know you're here? Can someone pick you up?"

"I. . . Mega. . . Ngh. . ."

"Mega? Who's that? Is that a friend of yours?"

The archivist appeared to black out for a moment.

A huff left Ratchet. That was unhelpful. The mech was too out of it to give him any useful information. He should go into the bar and ask if anyone there was named Mega, but he didn't want to leave the archivist alone, or hand him over to some other mech that would take advantage of him.

"What the frag am I going to do with you?" Ratchet mumbled to himself. He couldn't take him home, he had no idea where he lived. His own home was too far away, he didn't think he could carry the mech's wait for that long, and the train conductor most likely wouldn't let them on.

Looking around, Ratchet tried to plan.

His optics found the sign for the hotel across the street, tall and bright, windows casting yellow light onto the dark street. It was where the families of patients would stay whenever their loved one was in the hospital.

Perfect.

"Come on." He pulled the weak archivist across the road, practically dragging him. Whatever the frag that dreadful mech used on him, it was strong. He was in and out of consciousness, mumbling and crying every so often.

The receptionist was a tired femme, who halfheartedly checked them in and tossed the room key onto the counter, before yawning and falling back into her chair. It took nearly all the credits from Ratchet's pocket to pay for the room, and the femme waited impatiently as he counted them out in frustration. Ratchet huffily thanked her and went to dragging his companion to the elevator.

The trip to the room was a rocky one, but Ratchet managed, stumbling into their quarters as the archivist slipped from his hold for a second. Ratchet used the last of his strength to hoist the mech onto the fluffy, bouncy hotel berth.

Feeling the feathery comforter beneath him, the archivist seemed to panic. "N-No. . . Please. . ." He whimpered, tears streaking his handsome face. He weakly tried to push at Ratchet, his movements sloppy and uncoordinated.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm not going to do anything." Ratchet stepped away quickly, servos up. "I just couldn't take you anywhere else."

He had no idea if the archivist heard him before he slipped into a drug induced recharge.

Sighing, Ratchet sat down on the creaky hotel sofa. He was exhausted, and he had spent all his credits on the hotel room. How the frag was he going to board the train to get home?

Whatever.

He didn't regret saving the little archivist, even if it meant he was stuck here. He'd figure something out in the morning.

The smell of warm morning energon is comforting to wake to. Ratchet's systems onlined peacefully as he breathed in the sweet air, his optics opening to the ceiling of the hotel room. He had fallen asleep on the sofa, wrapped in a thin sheet. His back twinged with the pain of sleeping on the springy, creaky surface. Even when he was young, he felt old.

"Uh, good morning," a shy voice took his attention away from the ache in his spine.

Yawning, he sat up, pushing the sheet off of him. He looked up to take in the pleasant sight of the archivist, standing timidly at the end of the sofa, those shining optics watching him nervously. "Good morning." He greeted with a small smile.

In the archivist's servos were two cubes of steaming energon. "I'm Orion Pax." One was offered to him.

"Thank you." Ratchet took it and brought it to his lips, taking a small sip before introducing himself. "My name is Ratchet. You had quite the night, young mech. Do you remember any of it?"

Orion inhaled slowly. "I do, I remember most of it." That was surprising. "I remember you stopping that mech, and bringing me here." His voice cracked a little, and Ratchet's spark broke as tears came to his optics. "I want to say thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I just. . . It was really scary. I never thought that. . ." The little archivist sighed, trailing off and sipping his energon. He didn't seem to want to finish his sentence.

"Well, I hope you learned something. Never accept drinks from strangers." Ratchet reached out and patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry that you went through that."

An awkward moment of silence.

"Is there anything I can do to pay you back?" Orion reached into his subspace. "I have credits, I can pay you."

"I would love to say no, and let you keep your credits, but I spent all of mine on this room, and I can't get on the train to go home. Just enough for a train ticket would be wonderful."

"Of course!" The archivist quickly pulled out a small pouch where he kept his money. "Where do you live?"

"Near Iacon. I have an apartment."

"Really? I work at Iacon." Orion dropped a few credits into his servo and slipped the pouch back into his subspace. "I work under Alpha Trion at the Iacon Database."

"I thought you had an Iacon look to you." Ratchet . "You know, if you'd like to take the train back together, I wouldn't mind the company."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to meet a friend." Ratchet hid his disappointment. "But. . . If you want to exchange contacts, we could meet another time. I could buy you lunch, or a drink, or whatever. I owe you so much!

"You don't owe me anything, Orion. But I would enjoy meeting you again, only if that's alright with you."

The archivist graced him with a warm smile that ignited a heat inside him.

I would very much like to see you again, Ratchet thought to himself.

Yikes

Not my best writing but it's gonna be

A-Okay

#autobots #gay robots #optimus prime #ratchet #tfp #transformers #transformers prime #also on ao3 #ao3 author #optiratch #orion pax #maccadam #high grade #drunk robots #ratchet definitely loves him #optimus x ratchet #orion is cute as hell

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