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#not only is it not healthy to behave that way it’s not healthy to *feel* that way
it is possible to regulate your emotions themselves. when you regulate your behavior responses to your emotions, you will consequently regulate your emotions themselves. but even further than that, it is possible to rein in your emotional responses over time to be more manageable, just by asking yourself in the moment things like “Am I right to be this angry about such a small thing? Is my sadness about this situation valid or is it caused by selfishness/greed/pride?”
The people who tell you that emotions can’t be controlled and only behavior correction is possible are lying to you and constraining you to a miserable existence of always languishing & roiling beneath the surface.
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stuckinapril · 7 months
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#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit 🫠
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit 👻👻#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but 👻#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛
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protobrieile · 30 days
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sighhhhhhhhhhh
#ever since i started realizing my hyperindependence was a defense mechinism and not a clever strategy ive been getting so sentimental#i keep randomly thinking 'man i should go check my twitter account and see how it's going there' and then i remember i havent had that#account in 1.5yrs and even before i deactivated the dynamic was so screwed anyway that i couldnt just waltz back in like nothing happened#not to mention that half the reason i even looked at twitter is no longer available as a feature. and then i don't have a substitute either#i think this is happening bc in accepting that i am fundamentally not built to succeed as an independent/isolated entity i am also allowing#myself to miss things that i tried really hard to hide behind walls bc i felt like they were counterproductive to my growth#and like. i think that was actually true for a while and i really did need to build this healthy sense of self-prioritization so that#i could heal all the wounds that caused me to behave in a codependent and self destructive way. but now i've achieved that goal. it's done.#so keeping those same restrictions around after they served their purpose was just holding me in place bc i've outgrown them#this has def been the scariest thing to face thus far bc it felt so contradictory to my overall goal of Not Being Codependent and that by#accepting this unchangeable condition all the work i put into that would be undone. but. both things can be true. there's always balance#so yeah all this sentimental stuff coming up i guess is like. i never 'forgot' anything but i only let myself think about it rationally#and now i'm going back through all of the memories and allowing myself to feel them emotionally again. mannn this i why i love psychology#like yeah i miss these things but ive also accepted that things had to change for a reason. i wont say the thing but. yknow. and that's ok#by doing the rationality work first i can now think back on these experiences and feel the happiness without the sadness of 'losing' them#it's been really difficult working through this stuff but im glad ive reached this point where i can accept myself limitations and all#and i get the feeling that having this deeper openness to whatever the future holds will end up being pretty worthwhile
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flowerandblood · 4 months
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The Downfall (Oneshot)
[ Hamlet • dark Aemond x Ophelia • female ]
[ warnings: dubcon, sex content, fingering, virgnity loss, violence, suicide, angst, smut, obsession, remorse ]
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[ description: When she attracts the attention of Prince Aemond during the wedding feast of his brother and his sister, she knows that something terrible is going to happen. His figure lunges towards her like black storm clouds and she feels that, along with his desire, he will bring on her downfall. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
My other works: Masterlist
_____
"Tis I who should receive this honour. I, second son, rider of the greatest dragon in the world, experienced in wielding the sword, educated in history and philosophy, 'tis I who should…" He didn't finish, pressing his lips into a thin line. He stopped in the middle of his chamber, not looking at her but at the floor, his eye wide open in rage, his nostrils twitching in accelerated breath.
She swallowed hard, clenching her fingers on the material of her gown as she sat in one of the chairs at the table, fearful of him as usual when he behaved in this way, making her unsure once again how to act.
To endorse his words would have meant betrayal, so she had to remain silent, though her heart was pounding like mad in her chest, a drop of cold sweat running down the back of her neck.
Their betrothal had come as a surprise to her; the prince had caught sight of her at a grand wedding feast held in honour of his brother and his sister, dancing among dozens of other couples.
She dared not look at him, knowing of the arrangements between the Red Keep and Storm's End, not wanting to ridicule herself by begging like some of the women from respectable houses for his attention.
Apparently that was what made his bright, cold, dangerous eye notice her figure and his sight did not leave her until the end of the evening. At first she thought she was just imagining it, then, however, glancing towards the table standing in front of the Iron Throne she met his gaze, his lips curving into a grin that was disturbing to say the least.
She was terrified.
The next day, her father was asked to extend their stay in the Red Keep and enjoy the King's hospitality, though it was not explained to them for what reason.
She was frightened because she understood what it meant and she never went anywhere alone, always taking a servant with her, having heard numerous stories of what Prince Aegon did to women who caught his eye.
She didn't want to see for herself if his younger brother was the same.
It seemed to her that black clouds had gathered over her, that it was a matter of time when something would happen, and indeed, when she came across him passing through the courtyard during one of his sparring sessions, though she turned her head away, his deep, mocking voice stopped her.
"My Lady."
She swallowed hard, knowing that if she didn't answer anything, if she didn't look at him, she would commit a great discourtesy and offend him.
She couldn't afford it.
Therefore, she turned towards him, looking at the ground, seeing only his legs and waist clad in black leather garments, bowing in front of him.
"Your Highness."
She felt for a moment that her heart stood in her throat, the only thing she could hear around her was the clinking of steel and the voices of servants discussing something with each other behind her back. She saw the legs she was looking at move towards her and she closed her eyes.
"What a scared little bird you are. Hm?" He hummed, his voice soft and teasing at the same time, amused, as if he were speaking to a small child.
She swallowed hard and looked up at him – he towered over her with a smirk that was mysterious and unsettling, his healthy eye bright and wide open, his gaze piercing to the core, his lips swollen and full.
She felt herself grow hot with shame.
What was she supposed to answer to such a question?
The prince cocked his head, apparently ignoring her silence, taking advantage of the fact that they were standing so close to each other, watching her as if she were some curious being he had never seen before.
"I watched you dance last night. Did you feel my gaze lingering on your figure?" He asked, and she swallowed heavily, lowering her gaze, involuntarily betraying herself. The Prince grinned under his breath, seeing her reaction.
"You did." He said and looked to the side, as if he wanted to make sure no one would hear what he was about to say, leaning over her ear. "I will marry you."
She drew in the air loudly, shocked and surprised, freezing for a moment, tense, looking at him with big eyes and shook her head, not understanding how he could say such a thing. He, however, only grinned broadly in a way that made her shudder and stepped away from her, turning to Ser Criston Cole, letting him know that they could continue.
Ser Criston gave her one terrified look that told her everything.
She was doomed.
She didn't tell her father about the prince's words because she was convinced that he was mocking her, wishing for certain that she would succumb to him and spend the night with him only to disappear from his life forever. She knew she couldn't let that happen if she wanted to marry any self-respecting lord and decided she would just stay inside her quarters.
And then their betrothal was announced.
There was a feeling of emptiness in her mind as she looked at him, at the wide, mischievous grin stretched across his face as he sat at the table, while his mother, the Queen, spoke to her of the King's decision, apparently persuaded by his son, wondering how she was supposed to tame such a man, tame such a fiery, unpredictable nature.
She was scared.
To her despair, her father had been invited to take on the role of one of the treasurers under the direct authority of the Small Council, which he welcomed with joy. It meant that their family was to stay in the Red Keep, and her betrothed could slowly clamp his claws around her neck.
He followed her like a wraith, sinking her further and further into his darkness, making her slowly melt into one with him, not knowing where his soul ended and hers began.
On the day he was to see his nephews again years later, she locked herself in her chamber, unwilling to watch this theatre of malice and humiliation, knowing what her betrothed thought of them, how often he mused about slitting their throats or gouging out their eyes to later gift them to his mother.
She knew he was furious, wanting to show her off like a pretty object he had in his possession, but she offered him a passive resistance that drove him to the brink of madness.
She drew in a loud breath as he surprised her by silently sneaking up to her chamber at night – she heard the loud creak of the wood beneath his body as he lay down behind her. His one hand took place on her womb, as if he was already imagining in the back of his mind as it swelled from his seed, the other went under her jaw, stroking her skin warningly, his lips against her ear.
"You're hiding from me. You're avoiding me. You move through the keep like a shadow." He whispered, however there was no threat or frustration in his words, which she felt instead in his hand that slowly clenched around her long neck. She swallowed quietly, looking ahead at the night, starry sky outside the window.
She did not answer him.
She rarely used words in his presence.
Unfortunately, this only deepened the state she aroused in him.
A curiosity bordering on obsession.
She tilted her head back and sighed involuntarily, feeling the tickling heat spilling over her lower abdomen as his moist, full lips ran over her cheek, the tip of his tongue leaving a wet, cool trail on her hot skin.
"– I needed you –" He hissed in a trembling voice, pressing his body against hers from behind, his hard, swollen manhood hidden under the material of his breeches pushed against her buttocks, pulsing steadily. Her nipples hardened at his words, a shiver of fear and excitement ran down her spine.
His hand from her womb slid lower, between her thighs, his fingers closed on her womanhood – she knew how he learned these tricks, knew that he had played with whores before he met her, but she couldn't convince herself that she particularly cared.
The delicacy and uncertainty of the movements of his fingers did not match how she perceived him: apparently it seemed to him that one too aggressive gesture on his part and she would fall apart in his hands.
Thus, he merely teased her through the material of her nightgown, waiting as usual for her breath to grow heavy and ragged, for her buttocks to begin to rock to the flicks of his wrist and rub against his throbbing erection.
They both moaned quietly as his hand impatiently lifted the material of her long robe, seeking the warmth between her thighs and finally found it, her pulsing, swollen slit leaking from her sticky wetness.
The fingers of his hand from her neck rose higher, to her cheeks, closing on it in a rough gesture, forcing her to turn her face in his direction – she didn't resist him as his slick tongue burst deep between her lips, as his mouth pressed against hers with a loud, lewd click in a greedy, ravenous kiss that took her breath away.
She let him do whatever he wanted with her lips – he was sucking, licking and biting them, as if he were some kind of animal that had grabbed its prey and wasn't going to let her go until he devoured her.
She didn't care, because her mind seemed to be muffled, as if she was underwater, focused only on the touch of his fingers as they dug into her puffy, delicate folds, teasing again and again her warm, pulsing slit.
Her body tensed like a string, knowing what he was about to do, and then at last the tips of his fingertips broke into her hot, throbbing interior with a quiet click of her moisture.
She moaned a tad too loudly into his mouth, making him sigh deeply into her throat, freezing for a moment, his hard erection slapping impatiently against her buttocks.
"– fuck –" He gasped, startling her completely, letting her go and turning her onto her back, laying on top of her, looking at her with his mouth parted wide, breathing heavily.
She had thought that, as was his custom, he would just simply take out his manhood and make her squeeze it with her hand, touching her at the same time to give her fulfillment.
He, however, after he untied the material of his breeches, grabbed her nightgown with his hands and lifted it above her thighs, making her voice froze in her throat, her hands clasped helplessly on his shoulders.
"– n-no – no, please –" She muttered, knowing that if he took her maidenhood, took what he desired, he would never marry her, would send her and her father back to where they came from humiliated and ridiculed.
"– I need this – I need to feel you –" He breathed out, as if he was in some kind of frenzy, heedless of her helpless attempts to stop him, forcing her to spread her thighs open. She cried out, tilting her head back and closed her eyes as she felt the fat head of his cock begin to push against her swollen slit.
"– no – please, Aemond, please –" She whimpered, raising her trembling hands to his cheeks, stroking his jaw, trying to give him what he wanted, what he was apparently dreaming of in his black, grim mind.
"– you don't understand –" He growled, in a sharp, impatient motion trying to slide deeper into her, opening her little cunt on his throbbing, long erection. "– I fucking needed you today –"
She whined as he forced his way deeper into her body, filling her so much that she felt like he was going to tear her apart from the inside, clenching her fingers against the material of his leather tunic, shocked at how foreign, frightening, painful and exciting this sensation was.
"– I know – I know, just a little bit more – it's almost in – shhhh –" He hushed her, stroking her head with his broad hand as he thrusted his thick root all the way in into her, one last cry of effort left her lips.
She seemed to feel him with her whole being, breathing loudly through her mouth, feeling like she was suffocating, her heart pounding like mad, her whole body quivering in his arms, his lips placing warm, moist, reassuring kisses on her cheek.
"– thaaat's it – there we go – I'm going to start moving now –" He hummed, in a slow, lazy manner beginning to rock with his hips, sliding out of her a little and sliding back in with a quiet click, trying to force her body to adapt to his shape and receive him with greater ease.
He hugged her face to the hollow of his neck, without accelerating or making sudden movements, letting her fingers tighten vulnerably on his back.
"– good girl – calm down and let me fill you with my seed –" He whispered, as if he wanted to soothe her, to reassure her that he took no pleasure in her discomfort and suffering, even though he himself was the cause of it.
She nodded, not having the strength to stand up to him, breathing loudly to relax, to endure what he wanted to do to her. A low, loud groan of pleasure erupted from his lips when he felt it, and his thrusts became a little more sure, deep, loud.
"– g-gods –" She breathed out, feeling with horror that he was teasing a spot inside her from which shivers ran through her, waves of cold terror and hot pleasure surging through her body, causing a complete void in her mind, all she could focus on was the wooden canopy of the bed above her head.
"– yes – ah – so fucking wet for me – all warm and soft –" He breathed out into her ear, licking her hot cheek with his tongue, pounding into her with sharp, deep thrusts of his hips, making her feel the tickle in her lower abdomen, in her puffy lips and in her hard nipples, the bed beneath them beginning to creak loudly.
She felt the familiar hot tension building within her, the tension that he aroused in her when he touched her with his fingers, that, to her despair, she began to take pleasure from this animalistic, simple act of slapping their naked, sweaty bodies against each other.
She tilted her head back and sighed as she let her hips tentatively begin to rock to his thrusts, her hands slid from his back to his bare buttocks, stroking them. He shuddered all over and groaned, blindly seeking her mouth with his own, joining her in a sticky, messy, loud kisses, licking and sucking her lips.
"– yes – yes, just like that, fuck, little one, fuck, fuck, fuckkk –" He gasped, pressing his forehead to hers, slamming into her so quickly and aggressively that he was barely sliding out of her, his thighs slapping against her buttocks again and again, opening her wide on his fat cock.
They both were moaning shamelessly, looking at each other wide-eyed with their mouths open, listening to the shameless, sticky sounds her slick cunt made with each of his thrusts.
"– just a little more – ah – f-fuck, yes –" He groaned in elation, his final, deep, sloppy thrusts prolonging the inevitable, she heard and understood little as a wave of pleasure shook her and something hot spilled deep inside her, their mingled wetness ran down her buttocks.
"– such a good girl –" He gasped, throbbing inside her for a moment longer, filling her with the remains of his spend.
"– Aemond –" She mumbled, feeling her little cunt clamp down on his half-hard manhood, sucking it inside her again and again.
He fell on top of her without strength, panting heavily, and they both remained silent for long time. She finally heard him swallow hard, not even daring to look at her, his face sunk into the hollow of her neck.
"– will you forigve me, little bird? –" He muttered in a weak, deep, trembling voice.
At his question a single tear of sadness, regret and emptiness ran from the corner of her eye down to the side of her face, falling onto his forehead.
He felt it and lifted himself on his arm, wanting to look at her, but what he saw apparently made something inside him break.
He clamped his eyelid shut, swallowed hard and pressed his body against hers, burying his face in the pillow.
She didn't know why her hand lifted and laid on his head, stroking his hair with gentle, calm movements, why she felt a squeeze in her heart, why she wanted to comfort him.
Why she let him stay with her that night, cuddled into to her as if he were a small child.
And then the King died.
Her betrothed walked into her chamber the next day, pale, not looking into her eyes, twitching all over, as if in shock.
"My father is dead…" He began, and her mouth opened wide, looking at him in horror.
"… and my grandfather demands that I marry one of Lord Baratheon's daughters."
She stared at him dully, feeling her heart stop in her chest, her stomach twisting in pain as if she was about to vomit.
"I admitted to my grandfather what I did to you. I refused to let him send you away. You will become a Septa. You will be safe and retain your dignity I wrongfully took from you." He said and flinched hard as she grinned at his words, looking at her in disbelief.
"Do you think I'm surprised? I knew you wouldn't keep your word the day I saw you."
It seemed to her that something in her words broke him, for his lower lip began to tremble without the participation of his free will, his eye turned red, his nostrils twitched in heavy, accelerated breathing.
He was unable to get anything out of himself.
On the evening of the day before she was to leave the Red Keep, she demanded that a bath be prepared for her.
She knew he would come to her, she knew his conscience would not let her go without a farewell, she knew he would want to take her one more time before he abandoned her once and for all.
When she was left alone she slipped under the water, sinking her head into it as well, and closed her eyes, feeling strangely calm as the air stopped flowing into her lungs, a shudder shook her body indicating that some part of her still wanted to live.
It was said afterwards that the prince had found her and pulled her out of the water, that he had sobbed and wailed over her bare body, that he had locked her in his embrace, not allowing anyone to come near her, kneeling with her cuddled into his chest on the cold stone floor.
It was said that after that evening he stopped to speak and leave his chamber, staring dully into the fire for hours, playing between his fingers with a lock of her hair, the only memento he had left of her.
It was said that the prince's heart had died with her.
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senanatheskenana · 4 months
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Rengoku baby daddy headcanons
Rengoku spends the whole of the train ride rambling to Tanjirou, Nezuko, and Zanitsu about how excited he is to behaving a baby with you. So much so that even they have to admit they were excited.
Like would your baby look like you or him? Perhaps both?
When you both learn you are with child, he makes a promise to always keep the two of you safe.
It's only partway through the Mugen Train mission that he realises that he cannot do that if he dies.
His non-functioning eye waters at the idea of you and his child living all by yourselves, your child never having met their father.
He had never pondered how much he mattered to someone. Or how much the creature growing inside of you mattered to him.
The demon stares at him in confusion when he stops swinging his sword. Akaza nearly believes that heartbroken your husband.
"Tanjirou. If I don't come back- please tell my wife" he coughs "and my family I love them"
Tanjirou is not about to let Rengoku act like he's going to die.
"Rengoku, listen to me... You aren't going to die. You're going to return home, hug your wife and hold your baby, and you're going to live a long life- watching your family grow up. You'll teach your children a legacy. Kyojurou, you're going to live and be so loved!"
His speech awakens something inside of him. He knows he must fight for you- he can't lay and wait for death like a coward. He feels reinvigorated as he continues to fight off the demon's attacks.
Akaza almost feels bad for having to kill the slayer. Almost.
It's nearly day when Rengoku finally beheads the demon, a great deal of pride overcoming himself before he faints face-first into the ground.
Rengoku is barely back to form when you go into labour, but he forces his way from his bed- against the butterfly girls' begs- and hobbles into your hospital room, clinging to your hand as you cry.
He whispers sweet words of encouragement into your hand, kissing your knuckles to distract you and never flinching when you scratch him in pain.
When the baby is born, handed to you in a soft blanket, the first thing you see is bright yellow hair. He's in love with how cute their tiny face is, even as it cries.
"Congratulations! It's a perfectly healthy beautiful baby girl!" Shinobu grins.
His daughter. Nearly the spitting image of him. 'just cuter', he thinks.
When you're both finally allowed to go home, he fights tooth and nail to do all the housework, despite his injuries. You argue with him but he's sure that he'd rather have you comfy and with baby Rengoku than tired and unwell.
Over the months he gets closer to being fullform, though he's aware he'll never see from his eye, and will always have a limp.
That doesn't mean he won't do everything for your child though <3
He'll give her piggyback rides, tuck her into bed, and build forts with her.
He doesn't admit it but having Senjurou around is really helpful when he's in an episode of pain.
Even his father tries to be more involved after the birth, trying to reconcile with his children and make an effort in his grandchild's life.
He retires from the corp after his battle with upper four, with a considerable pension, so he uses all his time to the fullest with his family
But if you think he'll be content with just one baby, you've got another thing coming.
"Aw, but you'd look so pretty pregnant again! And surely Ruka would love a new sibling"
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aphroditelovesu · 8 months
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Yandere Hannibal Lecter Headcanons (General)
''Nothing here is vegetarian." — Hannibal Lecter.
❝ 🍽 — lady l: I think it's amazing that my hcs become more and more extensive lol, but you like it, don't you? Hannibal is my newest fixation and I loved writing for him, due to his personality. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! It's four in the morning here 🤎🤍.
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, cannibalism and murder.
❝🍽pairing: yandere!hannibal lecter x gender neutral!reader.
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Hannibal Lecter is decorous and very polite and he really appreciates that, politeness. He values ​​and is easily offended by people who are rude or who do not have the correct manners, especially at the table. In addition to being a perfectionist analyzer.
He believes that the way people behave at the table directly reflects their education and social status. Hannibal is meticulous in choosing ingredients, preparing meals and presenting dishes. The problem is that his food tends to be human flesh, but Hannibal doesn't consider himself a cannibal, since the victims he chooses are seen as pigs to him.
Hannibal is known for his distinct personality and his appreciation for elegance and refined etiquette. His impeccable education, combined with his exquisite taste, creates an intriguing and contradictory image, due to his serial killer side. He stands out not only for his intellectual abilities and his ability to appreciate high culture but also for his meticulous and artistic approach to his darker pursuits.
You must have his politeness and good manners, that's the least he requires, Hannibal doesn't like rude people and although he won't kill you, he would have to teach you to have good manners. He will be happy to do so, however.
When interacting socially, Hannibal is observant and analytical, evaluating people based on their behavior at the table and in everyday situations. His aversion to rude people puts him in a unique position where he feels compelled to correct these "lapses" in etiquette. The way he corrects these mistakes varies from murder to a class, in this case, that class would be just for you.
You would have to be someone who achieves these Hannibal decorums, or comes close at least, for him to become obsessed with you. He likes polite people and will be happy if you are one of them, but if you are not or don't know the correct manners very well, don't worry, he will help you.
Hannibal is a psychiatrist and is very well aware that his thoughts of you are not ''normal'' or healthy, but he doesn't care. He knows it's morally wrong to do what he does and does it anyway, so what are some dark thoughts about you? But these thoughts quickly become actions he committed in your name.
He will take notes about you and create your psychiatric profile and if there is something ''wrong'', he will offer therapy for you, that is if you were not already his patient. Always very observant and attentive, he will be keeping all the necessary information about you, so that he can use it to catch you later.
If you have problems with your family or friends, Hannibal will take care of it. He doesn't like the idea of ​​someone wanting to hurt you, whether emotionally or physically, and most likely he will kill them one by one and serve them to you. Of course, without your knowledge. He knows you're not ready to know that yet.
Hannibal will be very picky about your food, just as he is about his. If you eat poorly or incorrectly, he will correct it. He enjoys cooking for you and will be adamant about doing so, serving refined recipes and elaborate dishes using fresh ingredients. Hannibal is a bit too controlling.
He is not possessive, but rather obsessive. Hannibal doesn't like it when you get too close to other people, but he will be more uncomfortable if it's someone he has apathy or something against. But he will sort it out. He feels jealous, but he deals with it in his own way, releasing that feeling on other things... Or people.
Hannibal is quite protective of you and will be adamant about keeping you safe. He may try to convince you to live with him or will make regular visits to your home, work or where you study. He will always be around when he gets the chance, just to look out for you.
He will try not to completely succumb to his desires, as Hannibal doesn't like being controlled, and allowing you to have so much power over him makes him more than uncomfortable. At least until he is sure that you will let yourself be completely dominated by him, only then will he feel more comfortable in making his feelings for you clear.
Hannibal Lecter is very intelligent and knows very well how to get rid of evidence that could incriminate him. Besides being a psychopath who doesn't feel remorse or empathy for others, he becomes softer when he's with you. Although his feelings aren't clear or fully understood, he knows he cares about you, enough that he wants you to be his. And you'll be his.
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matchamiko · 6 months
Note
#9 - aizawa - fluffy +18 👉👈 no rush at all and sry if 9 was taken aa
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˚₊ ⊹ 9. Bleary morning kisses, even while still half-asleep + Aizawa Shouta
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˚₊ ⊹ Warnings: somnophilia (past consent given but dubcon just in case I guess, it’s only for like two paragraphs), oral f - receiving, pro-hero Aizawa, built like a house Aizawa, size kink.
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You're a vision to him, always have and always will be. Especially when you're like this, curled up under the white sheets surrounded by numerous soft toys and pillows shaped like petals and flowers and all sorts cute. A shoulder teases him, curved in the sunrise of a grey sky, not quite shining but not quite as dull as predicted, rising and falling with the quiet snores he can hear from your chest. Aizawa is a little saddened to have ever missed sleeping next to you, hearing your heavy breaths and feeling you fold in on yourself in the strange, contortionist way you prefer. He used to be offended that you didn't often cuddle, believing it to be a key factor in a healthy, successful relationship but he found that he's just as, if not more content just to know you're in his bed and snoozing soundly next to him.
You twitch when he sits up, sheet falling to his waist and he feels a little sticky from the hot night, and maybe from not moving much, the welts on his arms and sides a testament to that. Aizawa knows you're a light sleeper during the night, always waking up when he starts to get ready for patrol or when he returns, even dragging your blankets to the living room to doze on the couch while he marks assignments by the light of his laptop. But in the mornings when it's chilly and prickly and oh so fresh; you're harder to wake than the dead.
Aizawa thinks it's cute really, reaching beneath the sheet to untangle your hands from where they're pressed tightly into your chest. He knows it's bad for you, and so do you but it's comfortable and stable for you, like a weight on your chest to help you through the night. He knows it's bad, but he can't help but raise your arm to his nose and inhale the spot on the inside of your wrist, where your scent is the strongest and the muskiest from where it's been enclosed and baking all throughout the night beside your heart. Eyes close blearily, fluttering when his tongue darts out to taste you, the shining trail drying as Aizawa reaches the crook of your elbow. He's barely awake, grunting with the creaks in his back and the stiffness of his neck, chapped lips tracing the greenish veins up over your bicep to your shoulder, that sweet, sweet skin giving way so softly for him.
You sigh in your sleep, adjusting a little but falling against him harder, allowing him to loop your limp arm around his neck so he can dive nose first into your neck. Your hairline is a little damp, and Aizawa stifles a chesty groan when he kisses there, down the giving muscle of your throat. He's sloppy, a little careless of your sleeping form and your arm drops from his neck as he pulls the stretchy fabric of your vest down your sternum,
"Uhhn - " you grumble with a start, eyes opening one at a time and then remaining closed with the feel of a heavy body over yours. It's overwhelming in a way, waking up to your partner looming over your body like a lion consuming his prey, tits out to the chilly air and itchy with the scratch of his stubble. One eye opens. Aizawa stares up at you through the mess of his hair, eyes dark and sleepy, body fluid with yours as you roll on to your back and stretch,
"'m all sticky this morning," you complain with a crackly voice, legs peeling apart grossly. Aizawa huffs against your chest, one hand cupping your breast and the other struggling to behave itself,
"Heh, bet y'are," he hears you grumble in response, reaching out to scratch the top of his head affectionately and Aizawa suddenly decides against delving into your underwear in favour of heaving himself up over you, "Hullo, did you sleep okay? You slept through all night for once, well done,"
You swallow and heat up at his praise, however gruff and somewhat hard it comes out of him. His hair shields you from the rising sun and the sound of people beginning their commute to work and you reach to brush a little dust from his eye, chin jerking upwards with an invitation.
"Mhm," you don't trust your voice much in the mornings, especially when Aizawa is so close to you with sleep in his face and hardness between his legs. He obliges to your request, barely kissing you but it's sweet and it's needed and it's honestly beautiful. Dipping low, arms folding and bulging, head cocking to one side and then the other with every sticky kiss he gives you. His chest presses against yours, hair bristly but soft at your insistence in the showers every night, shoulders practically singing at his movements, and you sigh. You sigh into his mouth with a smile. You sigh when his rough fingers stretch into your underwear, sticky and pearly. You sigh louder when he grunts at the immense effort it takes to move his broad body down between your legs, those singing shoulders mean and bullying the supple skin of your thighs over them. Your sigh turns to a croaky, open mouthed gasp when his tongue parts the folds of your cunt, hot from sleep and boasting a scent that has his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Dipping and licking with little slurps, barely touching you but overwhelming you with the stretch of his tongue and the sweet suction of his lips,
"S'early still," he mumbles, kissing your clit with a lazy smack and looking up at you with an even lazier smile at your reclined and positively angelic form, "M'gonna take my time sweetness,"
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all rights reserved © matchamiko. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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starhoppin · 9 months
Text
pick a picture; how would your future spouse act when they're jealous?
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pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3
disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.
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「pile one 」
five of pentacles rv (cb: queen of wands, four of pentacles), king of swords rv (cb: ace of swords, seven of cups rv), nine of pentacles (cb: four of cups, nine of swords)
when your future spouse is jealous, they tend to keep their thoughts to themselves. they view you as the queen of wands - charismatic, bold, charming - overall, a catch. so when others flirt with you, your future spouse gets a bit possessive. still, they seem to recognize that the way others behave towards you is beyond your control, and you cannot be held responsible for whether people flirt with you or not. consequently, they feel like bringing it up would only create unnecessary conflict between you two. however, - in a moment of weakness - this person may act cold and a bit rude toward the person who is flirting with you. this person is normally level-headed, but the thought of you being with someone else really upsets them. i also see them reassuring themselves that you only have eyes for them. they trust you a lot and you actually may be the type to shut down any person who tries to flirt with you - particularly if they're doing so in front of your future spouse.
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「pile two 」
page of pentacles (cb: six of swords rv, three of cups), queen of pentacles rv (cb: ten of cups, four of cups rv), ace of cups rv (cb: four of pentacles rv, knight of pentacles)
i think your future spouse would struggle with acknowledging that they're jealous. they'll make an effort to act like everything is fine, yet it feels more like they're suppressing their genuine emotions. they may be the type to bottle up their true feelings in general. this person could struggle with issues of abandonment/neglect from past relationships, so when situations like this arise, they have to do their best to work through those emotions. instances that trigger their jealousy could be akin to reopening an old wound for them. despite knowing that you're happy together and you're not interested in anyone else, their instinctual response is colored by past feelings. your future spouse might place a high value on material possessions, and their love language may lean towards gift-giving. in light of this situation, they may become more extravagant in their gift-giving, almost as if they're in the courting stage in your relationship again. it's an energy of "no other person can provide for you like i can."
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「pile three 」
five of swords rv (cb: six of wands, king of swords rv), three of pentacles (cb: queen of pentacles, five of cups rv), five of pentacles rv (cb: six of cups, king of pentacles)
out of all the piles, your future spouse is most likely to speak up and tell someone off if they're flirting with you. they seem to perceive the conflict as a form of competition, but it's not true competition because you are already taken by them. it's like your future spouse has this perspective of "try all you want, you can never win them over." still, your person is likely to voice their displeasure and make it clear that they'll never have a chance with you. while you may prioritize harmony, your future spouse exudes an attitude of "i don't care if they like me or not." they are the kind of person who speaks their mind in any situation, even if they're aware you might disapprove. i distinctly heard the words "charity work," so they might use cutting words to convey that the person is not even close to being in your league. this person has a healthy sense of self-esteem and also believes that you share a strong relationship based on trust. although they may get a bit heated initially, i don't think that they'll dwell on the situation.
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tarot deck used in this reading: ostara tarot
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little-worm-grant · 8 months
Text
How They Loved You
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Moonboys x You (Reader)
730 words / 18+ only, no minors
Masterlist.
If you like what you see, leave a like or reblog and follow me ♥
Summary: Who fell in love with you first? How do they behave around you? Some ramblings of how each of the alters likes to love you.
Warnings: No smut but suggestive.
Dedicated to @lunaselena - ♥
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Steven thought it the moment he met you. The way you talked. The way you smiled at him. How kind you were. Didn’t show him any sign of being sick of his rambling. He was smitten. Didn’t take him long to blurt it out. He wanted to please you in every way he could think of. He learned fast. Intuitive towards you. Empathetic to your needs. He listened. Searched for ways to gently push buttons he never knew existed before you.
Simply having you existing gave him all the motivation he needed to try and make you happy. You let him explore and find his confidence. In turn, he’d find ways to surprise you. Always with that dopey grin on his face and that eagerness like you wouldn’t believe.
He’d be the one that’d spend a whole movie massaging your back. Cuddling or staring at you that little bit longer or until he couldn’t any more. He’s easily flustered and still bashful at times. Eyes quickly cast away as you strip the last of your clothing. His gaze would always return.
Once he was comfortable in your space? He’d be sneaking up to try and surprise you. Playful in his kisses and bites against you. Knowing exactly what he was doing but feigning innocence. More giggly in his flirting and teasing. Checking in when he can to make sure everything he’s doing and you’re doing is okay. He’d worship the ground you stood on if he could.
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Sure, he liked you for a while, but it took Marc getting to know you before it came down hot and heavy. Suddenly there was no air to breathe unless it was yours. You were his thoughts day and night. He needed all his time with you. Felt he was missing out anytime the others were with you instead of him.
Years would pass and he’d still be the same way. Utterly devoted. Not loud in his affection or words like the others sometimes were, but he made sure you knew he loved you. Gentle in all the right ways. Rough in the ways you both needed. He’d be the one doing the most to make sure you were cared for. Feed you. Drag you into baths and showers with him. Pull you into his arms to nap with him.
Marc loves you and only you. You’re more important to him than himself. He’d be the kind to burn the world down just to keep you safe. He’d kill for you. He’d be the most unstable if you left. A kind of obsessiveness he knows can’t be healthy but can’t help himself.
Took the longest time for him to express his feelings. Even if he felt it, he never expected it to be reciprocated. Marc’s good at putting on a show of being stoic and decisive. Deep down he still felt undesirable, like he wasn’t worth you. How lucky he was to have such a person to orbit around. You were his sun. His planet. And all the stars around him.
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Took him the longest to come around to the idea of loving you. Told yourself it was because he wasn’t out much and when he was he’d tried to avoid you and the others. Too used to his own bubble. Worried you’d hurt him if you got the chance. By being in constant proximity to the others, you caught glimpses of him. And in those glimpses, you seemed to like what you saw.
Jake’s moment of falling in love wasn’t hard and fast like Steven’s, or hot and heavy like Marc’s. It was an “awww fuck. Shit.” Kind of moment. Him standing there rubbing his gloved hand over his face because he realizes he really does care about this spicy little dumbass. You drive him crazy and he couldn’t understand until now why he wants you to keep doing that.
He wants to excite you. Take you out to see and do things you’ve probably never seen or done before. Enjoys the company in those long drives he loves to take. You catch him off guard with being okay he’s more his own person. He likes to be around and indispensable to others. Likes that you like seeing him like that. Marc’s bold, but Jake can be bolder. He’s possibly a little more on the competitive side. Isn’t one to back down.
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therainscene · 2 years
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It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, but the Alan Turing poster really tells us so much about Will that I consider it to be a significant piece of foreshadowing for S5.
First, let’s dissuade ourselves of the notion that Will chose Turing for his hero project for nerd reasons -- Will’s preferred flavour of nerdery is escapist fantasy, not computer science. He doesn’t know what an IP address is and the first thing he thinks of when he hears modem noises is a movie he likes.
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No, he chose Turing because he admires him for being a gay man who accomplished so much in his short life.
On one hand, that’s pretty heart-warming -- the fact he’s willing to identify with other gay men and look up to them as role models shows us he’s making good progress in accepting his identity. On the other hand, it’s heart-breaking, because Turing’s story is not a happy one -- he was caught having a sexual relationship with a man and forced to choose between jail or chemical castration. He chose castration.
I remind you: Will identifies with this guy.
Will is growing up under the twin specters of AIDS and homophobia and likely assumes he’s destined to die young too. He’s been abused and bullied so much, I imagine he’s heard and internalized it all: that he deserves to die, that he’s disgusting, that he’ll never be fulfilled in life.
So when puberty begins crawling its way inside him and implants those shameful desires that make gay men so worthy of abuse... he chooses castration.
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For all the sad pining he does in S4, we never really see Will express desire for Mike -- he never checks him out or shows signs of nervousness when they touch. He behaves with perfect platonic decorum at all times...
...unless we consider That One Scene With The Hose.
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Sexual interpretations of this scene are controversial, and I can understand why; we’re so used to seeing Will as this innocent, immature little boy that it's shocking to catch him fantasizing so lustfully, even though these sorts of thoughts are pretty normal for a 15 year-old. But I think that’s the point. We’re supposed to feel uncomfortable about this, because Will feels uncomfortable about it too.
He’s done well in accepting his identity, but he’s an absolute repressed mess when it comes to accepting his sexuality.
So, that’s what the Turing poster tells us about Will. Here’s where the foreshadowing comes in: Will is not the only queer-coded character to have been metaphorically castrated.
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Henry’s experience bears striking similarities to Turing’s: he too was caught engaging in a natural but forbidden behaviour and forced by his government to undergo a medical procedure to suppress that behaviour.
His villain speech to El in 4x07, which is ostensibly about his powers, also reads very strongly as a scathing criticism of heteronormativity, and it’s covered in rainbow motifs.
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The metaphor here is obvious: Henry’s powers are a manifestation of his homosexuality.
Which implies that Will’s homosexuality can also manifest as powers. They’re repressed because he’s repressed.
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It’s not a coincidence that the sexual tension was through the fucking roof in the infamous sauna scene. Every time Will’s supernatural ability to sense the Mind Flayer triggers in S3, Mike is also nearby.
What’s interesting about Mike is that his queer acceptance issues mirror Will’s: Mike has a healthy relationship with his sexuality (he casually checks guys out and plasters his bedroom walls with posters of buff dudes) but he just can’t bring himself to accept what this implies about his identity.
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Always with the symmetry, these two. They complement each other perfectly; one’s hang-up is the other’s strength. They have a lot to teach each other about being queer.
And as repressed as they are, I think they want to learn from each other -- Will lets himself get flustered when Mike flirts with him in his bedroom, and Mike hangs on to every word of wisdom Will shares with him in their heart-to-hearts.
Internalized homophobia is a powerful force, but their bond is so strong that it empowers them to fight back.
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Henry’s powers symbolize his anger at being mistreated and his desire to take that anger out on the world... but Will’s powers symbolize self-acceptance and love.
So he isn’t just going to defeat Vecna with his powers, and he isn’t just going to get the boy: these two things are one and the same.
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
Text
☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. pre-k teacher!au.
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about. some random headcanons of bakugou being a pre school teacher bc i think that he’s great with kids and would try so hard not to fall in love with his student’s mom.
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact. sfw, bakugou is soft for kids, reader is a single mother, fem!reader, pre school teacher!bakugou.
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personally, i think bakugou would make a great pre-school teacher.
imagine a quirkless universe where bakugou decides to work with kids because he knows that in a world where everyone turns against one another — kids are the only ones who have never done wrong. as a pre school teacher, he tries to be the person he wished he had protecting him.
the class pre-k teacher!bakugou gets assigned are known to be ‘his kids’. they have their own system, in which bakugou claps once and they all scramble to sit on the carpet for story time or know to stack their handwriting books up neatly at the end of their tables. the kids like that their teacher is strong and able to pick three of them up at once, they order that he plays heroes with them or sometimes dresses up like a princess from the story book before nap time.
pre-k teacher!bakugou's class is the most well behaved, the little ones always snuggle up to him quietly when it’s time to sleep and listen well before they’re let out into the playground for time out doors. it’s almost like he gentle parents them too — your kid in katsuki’s class is particularly sensitive at times, but the blonde always gives her a little time to cry out her feelings in the reflection corner because kids will always figure their shit out even if they can’t articulate it properly.
“what’s wrong, sweetheart? can ya try ‘n tell me what’s up?”
pre-k teacher!bakugou who gets along well with the parents but doesn’t dare to cross the boundaries of professionalism… except for when it comes to you. the flustered young mum who’s trying to get her life together with an extremely shy and stubborn daughter that takes bakugou months to crack. he bribes her with special books at reading time, the first pick of pillows and blankies for naps and even helps her tie her shoes when he’s not supposed to.
but only because of the way your eyes light up at your daughter’s progress a few months later and the way you cling to pre-k teacher!bakugou's arm (whilst trying not to cry) when he tells you that your daughter is finally setting in with friends.
he absolutely cannot have a crush on you, however.
pre-k teacher!bakugou makes homemade snacks for his class that meets every dietary and allegory requirement of every kid he has — more often than not it’s fruit and veg, he tells his kids that they get superpowers from eating healthy. but sometimes he indulges them with gluten free brownies or muffins, sending extra home for the parents too.
pre-k teacher!bakugou puts his funny reading glasses on whenever a student of his makes him a piece of art. they always giggle. no matter what’s been made, the creations from his kids always go up on the ‘bk class wall of fame’ — he feels sentimental over each blob drawn onto colour paper with sprinkles of glue, pasta, buttons and glitter. they mean so much to him, he can’t help but adore the gifts he’s given.
pre-k teacher!bakugou who tries not to cry when his class move up a grade. he promised himself not to be like this, but the kids are squeezing and hugging him, showering him in end of year gifts as a thank you for being the best teacher ever. bakugou isn’t very good at hiding how much he’ll miss his kids — especially your little girl who he’s so used to having by his side until you pick her up everyday.
but when pre-k teacher!bakugou starts clearing out his classroom for a year, he finds a card from his favourite student (your daughter) and inside is your number scrawled quickly in the top right corner.
‘been waiting for this all year. call me, now that you’re not her teacher - xxx’
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꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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backwzzds · 1 year
Text
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ you done yet? choso (nsfw)
it doesn’t take much for your man to put your brat ass into place.
thinking about quiet goth!choso who doesn’t even have to say or do too much to put yo ass in place. you had a naturally dominant personality; you were energetic, and spoke your mind up very well—all the complete opposite of choso.
but when that man got you in the bedroom?
it was was weird. in all your past relationships, you never felt safe enough with anyone to fully flourish in your feminine side. you always had to be tense and on guard, hardly allowing yourself to really feel safe in the arms of your partner. wasn’t your fault anyways; none of your ex boyfriend’s made you feel secure enough to allow you to be the princess you were.
choso was the complete opposite. he was really quiet and barely said more than three words a day to anyone who wasn’t you, but it wasn’t because he was a pussy or anything; mans just didn’t have anything to say. he always spoke the most when it came to you, though. you two always had meaningful conversations when you were alone together, so much so that it was an ongoing joke in your friend group that you were the only one to ever hear what choso sounded like.
it’s not like it bothered you anyway, choso wasn’t friendly to other bitches and that’s all that mattered. if anyone dare tried to make a shot at him, he’d stare them down until they got uncomfortable. or, he’d give the classic got a girlfriend, not interested. go away.
you loved him for that.
so while he barely spoke publicly, that didn’t mean he didn’t speak with you. you’ve known choso long enough to pay attention to his social cues in public as well. you knew when he was annoyed of those around him, uncomfortable, and just wanting to go home with you. if you were purposely testing him, all he had to do was give you a look or whisper behave in your ear and you were ready to kneel like a bitch for that man!
something about choso made you feel so safe in his presence. you knew bookie carried around a lil armed piece on his persons at all times, but that was just an added plus as to why you felt so secure with him. he never masculinized or dehumanized you (outside of sexuality), never made you feel as if you were in some sort of struggle relationship, and he never made you fight for his love. whatever you wanted, you got. literally, figuratively, and sexually.
besides the fact that he towered over your already taller frame, choso just made you wanna melt into his arms every single time you were with him. you could talk about him for hours, how good he smells, the hidden tattoos that only you could actually see, the way his nose scrunches when he’d laugh at something stupid you’d said—you were so in love with that boy.
so in love that usually if a man were to tell you to behave, you’d bitch back and start an argument. you cant tell me what to do, nigga, you’d say with a roll of your eyes. but when you were in such a healthy relationship, all you could do was follow choso’s every order when he got you in that bedroom after telling you what to do.
“you done actin’ like a fool, mama? think those dudes had enough of your show, hm?” his grip on your neck was tight. but you couldn’t take him seriously. not when the only thing on your mind was him pounding into you in a few minutes. all you could do was give him a sloppy and hazy smile, lip gloss smudged all over your face from his nasty kisses earlier.
choso can’t help but smirk just as malevolently as he looked down at you. “you think i’m laughin? tell me what’s funny baby, ‘cos i wanna laugh too.”
you grin, showing your teeth. “nah, nothin’s funny papa. know you’re boutta fuck me up in a few minutes though.”
your man lets out a small chuckle as he yanks your dress down, tits spilling completely free. “yeah i’mma fuck somethin’ up alright. bend over.”
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nightprompts · 29 days
Text
&. 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐚 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  furiosa: a mad max story  (2024),  directed  by  george  miller.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.  ) 
❛ as the world falls around us, how must we brave its cruelties? ❜
❛ we should go back now. ❜
❛ i'll come with you. ❜
❛ the stars be with you. ❜
❛ who's coming for us? ❜
❛ who do we have here? ❜
❛ what do they call you? ❜
❛ now, you have had a hard day, haven't you? you must be exhausted. ❜
❛ there's only one thing i need you to do and that is rest. ❜
❛ you don't have to say a word, i promise. ❜
❛ tomorrow, i'll take you home. ❜
❛ keep an eye on her, keep her safe. ❜
❛ you're bleeding. ❜
❛ i'm not gonna leave you. ❜
❛ whatever you have to do, however long it takes, promise me you’ll find your way home. ❜
❛ no, no, no. don’t look away. we mustn’t look away. ❜
❛ why would you run from me? ❜
❛ you’re gonna have to show me who you are. ❜
❛ you don’t have to watch if you don’t want to. ❜
❛ you may wanna close your eyes. ❜
❛ you will rule with me in the splendor of a new wasteland. ❜
❛ i’m afraid for you, sweetheart. really afraid. ❜
❛ witness me! ❜
❛ you’re all fools for coming here. ❜
❛ when things go bonkers, you have to adapt. ❜
❛ she looks nothing like you. ❜
❛ she has her mother’s perfections, and none of my deficiencies. ❜
❛ she’s perfect. not like the genetic absurdities you have for sons. ❜
❛ would you like to stay here in the citadel? ❜
❛ if i let you stay and you grow to become a strong, healthy woman, you could become one of our wives. ❜
❛ no! she’s not for sale, she’s mine. ❜
❛ you behave, i’ll behave. ❜
❛ where have i seen you before? ❜
❛ we're going to build ourselves a war rig. ❜
❛ he done the most runs on the fury road. and brung back the booty every time. ❜
❛ eyes left. they’re flanking us. ❜
❛ you’re going to pull over and get out. ❜
❛ where did you think you were going? ❜
❛ there is nowhere else. this is the wasteland. wherever you thought you were going does not exist. ❜
❛ i lost my convoy. i lost my crew. i’m gonna have to start again. and i’m driving off thinking i ought to start with you. ❜
❛ you may be raw, but you have about you a purposeful savagery. ❜
❛ you give me time, i’ll teach you everything you need to know about road war. ❜
❛ if you survive everything we take on together, you’ll have all the skills you need to get wherever you wanna go. ❜
❛ keep it. you’ll need it. ❜
❛ for you. for your travels. you’re done here. you’re free to go. ❜
❛ food, water, wheels, whatever you need. i'll help you put it together. give me a couple of days. ❜
❛ i want what you want. a full belly... and a fistful of bullets for a tank of gas. ❜
❛ we’re not leaving without our tankers full of gas. ❜
❛ you wanna get out of here, follow me. ❜
❛ let’s kill him. right now. ❜
❛ this place at the end of your map of secrets... where is it? ❜
❛ i wanna help you find this place. wherever it may be. ❜
❛ come with me. ❜
❛ there is no hope! not for them, not for you! certainly not for me! ❜
❛ it’s the price we all pay to survive in the wasteland. we cannot be soft! ❜
❛ stay! you’ll find peace here. ❜
❛ if you find him, he’s mine. ❜
❛ gentlemans, it’s time. time to do war. ❜
❛ here, no time for long goodbyes. we’ve done some mighty things together. goodbye. ❜
❛ you’ve found me. ❜
❛ you could have necked me in the night, but you didn’t. ❜
❛ i have nothing. i am nothing. ❜
❛ remember me? ❜
❛ you crawled out of a pitiless grave, deeper than hell. and only one thing’s gonna do that for you. and not hope. hate. ❜
❛ no shame in hate. it's one of the great forces of nature. ❜
❛ so... this is the day i die. i’ve always wondered how. ❜
❛ my childhood. my mother. i want them back. ❜
❛ i'm right there, i’m right there with you. i too craved nothing but revenge. ❜
❛ if the shooter goes around the back, the shootee won’t know the precise moment of the execution. ❜
❛ what you want, dear, are my cries of anguish. anguish without end. and if i could give you that, i would. ❜
❛ if you can’t do me quick, you’ll have to do me slow. ❜
❛ i’ve been waiting for someone like you, someone worthy of me. ❜
❛ no honor, no rule of law to sort things out. just two evil bastards out here in the wasteland. ❜
❛ you do this, you do this right, you become me. ❜
❛ i am nothing like you. ❜
❛ you are me. already dead. ❜
❛ to feel alive, we seek sensation. any sensation to wash away the cranky black sorrow. ❜
❛ the question is... do you have it in you to make it epic? ❜
178 notes · View notes
jetii · 2 months
Note
the cross fic made me realize there's not enough tech angsty fanfics
how about a groveling tech trying to get femreader back like they were an item before order 66 tech broke things off, they reunite with the batch later but reader became a very sad person after all that time
an i lied because i thought you deserved better so i pushed you away situation ?
sorry if it's a long ask 😅 first timer here
I like your writing 💕
No worries! I love a detailed prompt.
Writing angst for Tech was harder than I thought it would be tbh. I think his direct communication style and self confidence make it especially difficult, so I took a slight detour here that I feel is more true to his character.
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Piece by Piece
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader
Words: 5,630
Tags/Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, allusions to torture, PTSD
Summary: Pushing you away was the logical decision. It was the right choice. But Tech never expected it to hurt so much, nor did he expect to reunite with you months after the rise of the Empire, broken and haunted by your time spent in Imperial custody. Now, he's determined to make things right.
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Being in the same room as you is exceedingly difficult in a way Tech didn’t expect.
It’s been weeks since you returned, appearing like a vision from the Force to them, alive, and he still can’t quite believe it. His hands shake slightly when you look at him, his mouth goes dry. He still wants to reach out to you, hold you tight and never let you go, and it is agony to resist, to stand by your side and not be able to touch you.
You were the one who asked for space, time to readjust to being around them again. And he has respected that, despite the desperate, possessive urge to pull you back, to keep you close so you never leave his side again.
It makes it hard to concentrate. Hard to be of any use at all, really.
Tech knows this isn't healthy, the way his mind and body and emotions are behaving, but he is finding it difficult to control. He has a lot of feelings that he isn’t sure what to do with, a lot of emotions that he doesn't understand. Tech isn't one for emotional outbursts, for being ruled by his heart and not his mind. He is rational, logical, always thinking of the most efficient solution to a problem, the most practical way of doing things.
It’s what lead him to break it off with you, after all. He couldn’t afford to have his head in the clouds when so much is on the line, couldn't afford to be distracted by thoughts of you when they could be used against him.
But then you were gone, and Tech was left alone with only the cold reality of his own decisions.
He thought he had made the right choice. Thought he had been logical and sensible, thought it would hurt you less in the long run, if he pulled away. But Tech doesn't feel very sensible now, and it doesn't seem very logical that the best way to protect you would be to push you away.
You have been hurt more than enough. And even if you don't want him in your life anymore, even if you want nothing to do with him, he will never forgive himself for not trying to help.
The fact is, Tech isn’t sure what you want, but he is determined to make amends, to help in any way that he can. It might hurt, might cause him to feel pain at the distance between you, but he is willing to accept that, to live with it if that is what you need.
What he isn’t willing to live with is seeing you unhappy. And you are unhappy.
Your eyes are dark, hollow. Your face is drawn and gaunt, cheeks too thin, and when he sees you, your shoulders are slumped as though under an impossible weight. You barely eat, you barely sleep. Tech watches as you push food around your plate and drink only water. He notices how you keep to yourself, avoid talking and laughing and joking like you used to, and he hates that you have changed so much, that the Empire has taken that joy from you.
And that, more than anything, is what hurts him the most. The Empire took your light, the thing that makes you, you. They ripped your spark away and left a shell behind, and he is struggling to reconcile that with the bright and lively woman he knew, the woman who had such a profound effect on him.
"On all of us," Echo points out one night, as the rest of them watch you sitting alone.
Echo has become increasingly vocal about his feelings, something Tech is glad for. It gives him a chance to understand better, to gain perspective, and Echo has been the one to notice what Tech can't admit, the thing he isn't willing to think about, the thing that hurts the most.
You're suffering, and you're pushing them away.
At first, it seemed reasonable. You were gone a long time, and they hadn’t seen you. It made sense that you needed space.
But time has passed, and you're still not yourself.
Tech thinks back to your first night, how you flinched away from his touch, and realises how foolish he has been. He sees now how much he was hurting you, how much damage his words and actions were causing, and his heart breaks a little more.
It was never about protecting you. Not really.
Tech wanted you. He wanted you for so long, and when he finally had you, he was terrified of losing you. So, he pulled away. He cut ties, and told himself it was for the best.
Except now he has no ties to cut, no bonds left to sever. You're here, but not, and his chest aches as he watches you.
This isn't the way it should be.
Tech should be holding you, and you should be smiling. He should be telling you how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you back. He should be making sure you're comfortable and safe, ensuring that you have everything you need, everything you deserve.
Instead, he stands in the corner of the room, watching silently as his brothers try to coax you into eating, or drinking, or just saying something. Omega is the only one who is successful, who manages to make you smile.
Tech can't understand it. He tries his hardest, he does his best, and you always turn away.
And the more he tries, the more he feels the ache inside him grow, the more his feelings change, twisting and turning and growing, and he can't keep track of what's happening to him. All he knows is that the idea of losing you is the worst thing he can imagine, and the idea of being without you is becoming unbearable.
He doesn't know how much more he can take.
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You've been avoiding him.
No, not avoiding. You've been staying away.
Or maybe, you've been ignoring him.
“She's not talking to me,” Tech admits one evening.
He's curled up in the corner of the cockpit, legs pulled up, head buried in his arms. The rest of the Batch have dispersed, going off to their own bunks to rest or to tinker or to read. Tech is usually the last to retire, but not tonight.
Tonight, his shoulders are slumped and his goggles are pushed up onto his head. He's been scrubbing at his face with the heels of his palms for the past few minutes, trying to work through the thoughts and emotions swirling in his mind.
You're not talking to him.
And yes, maybe it's because you're not talking to any of them, but it still feels personal.
You're not talking, not laughing, not doing anything, really. You’re just there, a shadow of your former self, a ghost.
Tech misses the woman who used to laugh and tease him, the one who could always bring a smile to his face and a blush to his cheeks. The woman who was a whirlwind of color and life, the one who lit up his world and made him see things differently. Who kissed him so deeply and passionately that it felt like his entire world was reduced down to the feel of her lips. He misses her warmth, her kindness, the way she touched him, looked at him.
He misses the way he felt around her.
He misses you.
Tech doesn't know what to do. He can't stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking about what he's done, what he could have done.
What he should have done.
Maybe if he'd tried harder. Maybe if he hadn't given up, hadn't let go. Maybe if he had listened to Hunter, had heard Echo. Maybe if he'd told you the truth, he could have stopped this.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He sighs, rubbing at his face. He feels miserable, and it's his own damn fault. He's the one who ended things, who pushed you away. And he can't blame you for that, not when it was him who decided that you weren't worth it.
That isn't to say that he didn't care. Of course, he cared. He cares now. So much it hurts.
You are the person he was in love with, the only one. But it didn't seem fair to ask you to share his life, his world, when he couldn't promise that it would always be safe, that it would always be stable. He couldn't give you a future, couldn't provide for you the way a proper partner should, the way you deserve.
He could give you the present, but he couldn't offer you anything else.
And yet, as Tech sits here, head in his hands, he can't help but think that he should have at least tried. If he'd told you how he felt, maybe things would have turned out differently.
“I only ever wanted you,” you had told him once, and Tech can't believe how stupid he was to let you slip through his fingers.
Tech isn't used to feeling helpless. He's used to knowing exactly what he's doing, to being in control. But when it comes to you, it's as if he's floundering. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to act, doesn't know what you want.
He’s tried everything, he's done everything he can, and still, you push him away.
You don't want his comfort. You don't want his love.
He doesn't understand it. You've always seemed happy around him, like his presence brings you some peace. But now, whenever he gets close, you move away. When he tries to talk, you turn your back. When he offers help, you shut him down.
Tech isn't sure why you won't accept his assistance, or why you won't talk to him. It doesn't make sense.
He can't understand, can't rationalize. And he's never felt so lost.
Tech groans, burying his face in his arms. He's being ridiculous, he knows, but he can't help the way he feels.
He misses you.
Tech misses the way your hand fits perfectly in his. He misses the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, the sweetness of your lips. He misses the way your smile makes him feel like his heart is full, like he can take on the world, like he can conquer anything.
Tech misses the way your body feels against his. The way your fingers feel on his skin. The way your breath catches when he touches you, the way your heartbeat picks up, the way your pupils dilate.
Tech misses the way you made him feel alive.
Tech knows that he isn't worthy of your affection. He knows that he doesn't deserve your love. He's not a good man, not a good partner, not a good friend. He's not the kind of person who should have someone like you, and yet, somehow, you chose him.
But not anymore.
“I only ever wanted you.”
You said those words to him before, and they haunt him. You told him you didn't care about the risks, the dangers, the fact that he couldn't give you the future you deserve. All you cared about was him.
And he threw it away.
Tech isn't sure how long he sits there, wallowing in his misery. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. He just sits, and broods.
“Maybe she just needs time,” Echo says, though his voice sounds doubtful.
Tech shakes his head before pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead.
“She has made it clear that she doesn't wish to speak to me, or see me, or have anything to do with me."
The words sting as he speaks them. His throat is tight, and he swallows hard, trying to hold back the emotion.
"I doubt a little more time will change her mind."
There's a long silence.
Echo leans against the wall beside Tech, his arms folded. He's watching Tech carefully, his gaze piercing. Tech feels uncomfortable, and shifts, ducking his head. He doesn't like being scrutinized, doesn't like being vulnerable. He prefers to keep his emotions in check, his feelings close to his chest.
But he's finding it hard to hide them now, and his pain is obvious, even to himself.
“But she does,” Echo says finally.
Tech glances up, frowning. "Elaborate."
"She does want you," Echo clarifies, his voice gentle. "She loves you. She wouldn't have come back if she didn't.”
Tech doesn't want to admit it, but Echo has a point. If you didn't want anything to do with him, then you wouldn't have bothered to find him. You would have left, disappeared again, and never come back.
You wouldn't have risked your life for him.
Tech isn't sure if that makes him feel better, or worse.
Because it means that you do care, but it also means that you might be willing to sacrifice yourself, and Tech can't have that. He can't let you throw away your life, not for him.
Tech groans, burying his face in his hands. He's being selfish, and he knows it. You're the one who was captured, the one who suffered, the one who nearly died. And yet, all he can think about is how much it hurts.
He's been thinking about how much it hurts him. He hasn't been thinking about what you need.
"What should I do?" Tech asks, his voice small and defeated.
"Apologize," Echo replies simply.
"I have tried," Tech protests, lifting his head. "I have apologized countless times, and she does not want to listen. She doesn't want to speak to me."
"No," Echo corrects. "You've apologized for the wrong things."
"Wrong things?" Tech echoes, frowning.
"Yes, the wrong things," Echo repeats.
Tech isn't sure what Echo means by that, but his brother looks confident, sure of himself. Tech wants to believe him, but he doesn't know how. He's spent so long trying to convince himself that he did the right thing, that he did the only thing, that he can't help but doubt.
"How do I fix it?" he asks, voice quiet.
"That, I can't tell you," Echo replies. "But Tech, the first step is admitting that you were wrong."
Tech nods, letting his shoulders sag. He doesn't feel particularly good about the situation, but he's willing to try. It's not easy, admitting he was wrong. He's so used to being right, to having the answer, to knowing what's best. But when it comes to you, he has never felt so lost.
Tech thinks of the pain in your eyes, the way you flinched from him, the way you turned away.
He has to do better. He has to be better.
He has to earn your forgiveness.
"I was wrong," Tech says, his voice steady and sure. "And I'm going to make it right."
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You're standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by medical supplies and overturned cots. Your face is pale, eyes wide and fearful, and Tech isn't sure what to do.
The voice of his brothers and Omega inside his head tell him you need space, but they also remind him that you need someone to look after you. That you need help. That you can't be alone.
Tech hesitates. He isn't used to this, the uncertainty, the not knowing what's best. He's never been particularly good at reading people, and even worse at knowing what they need.
He has never been more unsure than he is now.
He wants to help. He wants to take care of you, to make you feel safe, to give you what you need. But he's terrified of getting it wrong. Especially when you're standing in front of him looking like a startled animal.
You're shaking, and your breathing is fast and shallow. Your eyes are darting around the room, as if searching for something. Tech isn't sure what it is, or if it even exists. You look terrified, and Tech knows you have reason to be. The last time you were in a place like this, the Empire was holding you captive, and he can't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
Tech has to suppress a shudder as he remembers the footage, the recordings they managed to get from the base. The screams, the cries. They haunted his dreams, and Tech can't even imagine what they did to you.
Tech wants nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms and promise that he will protect you. But he can't, not without permission.
Not when he isn't sure you'd even want him to.
So, instead, he stands there, watching. He keeps his distance, gives you the space you need. He's trying his best, but it isn't easy.
She just needs time, he tries to remind himself, but Tech isn't so sure.
He isn't sure if time is enough. He isn't sure if anything will ever be enough.
He watches as you stand there, your hands clenched into fists, your eyes still scanning the room. He watches as your breathing speeds up, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He watches as the panic spreads over your face, your lips pressed together, jaw tight.
You look scared, vulnerable, and Tech's heart breaks a little more.
“Cyare,” he calls out, as quiet and soothing as he can manage. You stiffen, and Tech curses himself for causing you discomfort.
He should have stayed quiet.
But then you turn, and your eyes meet his, and something inside him seems to settle.
You look so sad, so lost, and he can't help it. He walks over to you, careful and slow, making sure not to startle you. When he reaches you, he holds out his hand, palm up. He wants you to know that he is there for you, that he will not hurt you.
He will never hurt you again.
He waits, holding his breath. He's afraid that if he moves, if he speaks, you will run. So, he stands, motionless, watching as you stare at his hand.
Slowly, slowly, you reach out, your fingertips brushing his. The touch is gentle, tentative, and Tech is afraid to breathe.
Then, your hand closes around his, and he exhales.
Tech knows he's taking a risk, touching you, but he can't resist. He can't stand the thought of leaving you alone, the thought of not being able to help. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you. He doesn't know what else to do. He wants to hold you, to keep you safe.
He never wants to let you go.
You're shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You're trembling, and Tech knows that this is a big step, that you're taking a chance. So, he holds you, and he waits.
Your body is tense, and Tech is worried that he's overstepped, that he's pushed you too far. But then, slowly, you relax. Your arms wrap around him, your head resting on his shoulder, and he can't help but sigh in relief.
The others are nearby, finishing a sweep of the facility. He should be helping, but he doesn't want to leave your side. Not when you're finally letting him be close to you.
So, he holds you, and he strokes your hair. He whispers quiet reassurances in your ear, tells you that everything will be alright, that he's got you, that you're safe.
He's not sure if you believe him, but he has to try.
He can't lose you again.
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Tech is trying.
He's trying his best, but he feels like he's failing.
Every day, every hour, every minute, his mind is filled with thoughts of you.
He thinks about how you're doing, whether or not you're eating, sleeping. He thinks about the nightmares you have, the way your body shakes as you wake, pale and trembling, gasping for air.
He thinks about how his brothers can't seem to calm you, how only Omega is successful, her soft voice and gentle touch somehow bringing you some measure of peace.
Tech can't help but feel that it should be him. It should be him comforting you, not Omega. It should be him easing your pain, not his little sister.
It should be him.
He isn't sure why he can't seem to do anything right. After they left the facility, after you finally started letting him hold you, Tech thought things would get easier.
But they haven't.
You still seem so distant, so far away. You still refuse to eat, to sleep, to talk. And Tech isn't sure how much longer he can handle this.
He's frustrated. Frustrated at himself, at the Empire, at the galaxy. Most of all, he's frustrated at you. Not that he would ever admit it aloud.
You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to go through. Tech understands that. But he can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, if you'd been willing to accept his help earlier, things would have been different.
Tech doesn't mean it, not really. He doesn't think that it's your fault. He's just tired, and angry, and frustrated. 
And, if he's being honest, he's a little jealous.
You trust Omega. You open up to her. But you won't even talk to him.
It hurts.
Tech has spent the past few weeks trying to make things right, to show you that he’s changed. But you seem unwilling to let him in, to let him help.
It's infuriating.
Tech knows he shouldn't feel this way, but he can't help it. You were his girlfriend, his partner, his lover. And now, you won't even look at him.
He's trying, but he feels like he's getting nowhere. He wants to help, wants to be there for you. But he can't do anything if you won't let him.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” Omega says, her voice uncertain. Her feet swing over the edge of the bunk across from him, and her brow furrows. “Won’t she be mad?”
Tech sighs, running a hand over his face. He knows that Omega is worried, but he can't sit around any longer. He has to do something.
"She is already upset. I'm not sure anything else could make things worse."
Tech tries to sound convincing, but the truth is, he isn't sure what the consequences will be. He isn't sure what will happen, isn't sure if this is a good idea. But he has to try.
“If you’re sure,” Omega replies slowly.
Tech nods, trying his best to look confident.
"I'm sure."
He isn't.
"Okay."
Omega pulls out her datapad and types the message. Tech watches as she hits send, then lets out a shaky breath. She slides off the edge of the bunk and hurries down the ramp, leaving him alone.
Tech waits, his nerves growing with each passing second.
You are going to hate him for this, he's sure.
But he has to do it. He has to try.
"Tech?"
Your voice is quiet, uncertain. You're standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around yourself, and Tech feels his chest ache at the sight.
You're here.
You're actually here.
"Hello," he says quietly.
“Where’s Omega?” you ask, your voice sharp. You step forward, and the light catches your face. Tech can see the bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. You look tired, worn down, and he hates it.
Tech winces. "She's not here."
"Where is she?"
You sound panicked, and Tech doesn't blame you. The last thing he wants is to make you more stressed. But he needs to talk to you, and this is the only way.
"She is fine," Tech says, trying to sound reassuring. "I asked her to leave."
You narrow your eyes, taking another step toward him. You're still clutching your arms, as if you're trying to hold yourself together. Tech wants to reach out, to take your hands, but he knows you'll pull away.
“What do you want, Tech?” Your voice is harsh, but Tech doesn't mind. You're speaking to him, which is more than he's gotten out of you in days.
"I, ah, I wanted to talk," Tech replies, his tone hesitant.
"About what?"
Tech swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "About us."
You frown, folding your arms across your chest. "There is no 'us', Tech. There hasn't been for a long time. You made sure of that."
Your words are sharp, cutting, and Tech can't help but flinch. He deserves them, he knows. But it doesn't make the sting any less. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have ended things."
You stare at him, eyes wide. Tech isn't sure if you're surprised, or just angry. He can't read you, not anymore. He isn't sure if he ever could. He's always felt a little bit of awe, a little bit of fear when it came to you. And now, more than ever, he feels completely lost.
"So why did you?" you ask, your voice tight.
Tech sighs, adjusting his goggles nervously. He's not sure how to answer that. He isn't sure if he even has an answer.
"I was... afraid," he admits, his voice low.
"Afraid of what?"
Tech shrugs, looking away. "Everything. The future, the war, losing you."
You don’t say anything, and Tech takes a deep breath, forcing himself to continue.
“I ran an exhaustive cost benefit analysis, and I had determined that the risks far outweighed the benefits. I could not continue our relationship knowing that I would most likely hurt you. In my mind, I needed to end things before they went any further. Before you were able to become attached.”
"I was already attached," you whisper, your voice cracking. "I was already in love with you."
Tech's heart stutters.
"You were?" he asks, his voice quiet.
You nod, biting your lip. Tech feels his stomach twist, a mixture of guilt and hope rising in him. You were in love with him. You are in love with him. And he has hurt you more than he ever thought possible.
"I was a coward," Tech says quietly. "I knew if we had gone any further, and I were to hurt you, it would have caused me immense emotional pain. And, in the process, I would have risked my ability to perform at optimal efficiency, and that would have resulted in harm to the rest of the squad."
Tech looks up, meeting your gaze. "I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to put the squad at risk. But in the end, I failed at both."
You frown, and Tech can tell that you're trying to understand.
"So, let me get this straight," you begin, your voice strained. "You broke up with me, because you thought it was the best option for everyone involved."
Tech nods, his expression pained.
“That’s not for you to decide, Tech. I can make my own decisions. And, I decided to be with you. But instead, you made the decision for both of us, and you didn't even bother to ask my opinion."
“I knew that if I had discussed it with you, you would have tried to convince me otherwise,” Tech explains, his voice soft. “And I wasn't certain I would be able to resist your arguments."
You shake your head, an incredulous look on your face. "So, basically, you dumped me because you couldn't trust yourself to make a logical decision?"
Tech's shoulders slump, and he nods, his head bowed.
"That is correct. It is also…” He looks at his hands, his expression pained. “For all of my unique modifications, I am still a clone. I am still expendable. But you, you are not. You are more important. You are special." He hesitates, swallowing hard. "You are irreplaceable."
Tech can see tears gathering in your eyes, and he feels a fresh wave of guilt wash over him. He never meant to hurt you, but it seems he has managed to do just that. And now, he doesn't know how to fix it.
"Tech, no." You shake your head. "You're not expendable. None of you are."
"That may be the case," Tech concedes. “But at the time I could not see a future in which the two of us could have a happy life together. Not with the way things were, not with the risk we faced. So, I chose the safest option."
"But we could have figured it out, Tech. We could have found a way."
Tech shakes his head, his expression weary.
"I was not willing to take the risk. I was not willing to gamble with your safety, with your happiness. It was a decision I had to make. For all of our sakes."
You are quiet for a moment, your expression thoughtful. Tech can see the pain in your eyes, the hurt and betrayal, and he wishes he could take it all away. He wishes he could erase his mistakes, undo his actions.
"You made the wrong choice," you say at last, your voice low.
"Yes, I did," Tech admits, his voice quiet. "I was wrong. About a great many things."
He looks up, his gaze meeting yours.
"But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm serious, that I want to fix things."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," Tech says, his voice breaking.
Your eyes widen, and you suck in a breath. Tech can see the surprise in your expression, the shock. He knows you didn't expect him to say it, to admit it. But it's the truth. And Tech can't hide it any longer. He can't pretend.
He has to be honest. Even if it means losing you.
"I love you," he repeats, his voice stronger this time. "I always have. I've never stopped. I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone, not like this. But, you changed that." He pauses, swallowing hard. "I don't want to lose you, cyare. Not again. Not ever."
"Tech."
You say his name softly, your voice cracking. Tech can see the tears welling in your eyes, and his chest aches. He wants to take you in his arms, wants to kiss away the pain, but he knows he can't. He knows he has to let you decide. He has to let you choose.
You step forward, and his breath hitches in his chest. You're so close, so near, and Tech wants nothing more than to hold you. But he doesn't. He stays where he is, waiting.
You reach out, your hand cupping his cheek, and Tech leans into the touch, savoring the warmth of your skin. You're looking at him, your eyes searching his, and Tech hopes that you can see the truth in them, the sincerity. He hopes that you can feel how much he loves you, how much he needs you.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice breaking.
You nod, and he can see the tears streaming down your cheeks. Tech wants to wipe them away, but he doesn't move. He stays where he is, watching you, waiting. You're still staring at him, and Tech feels a flicker of hope bloom in his chest.
"I'm sorry, too," you whisper, your voice raw. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry for everything."
You pause, biting your lip. "I love you, Tech. I never stopped. And, I don't want to lose you, either."
Tech's heart swells, and he can't stop the tears that come, or the smile that spreads across his face. You're looking at him with such tenderness, with such love, that he can't help but reach for you, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight. You melt into his embrace, your arms winding around his waist, your face buried in his chest. 
Tech can feel your tears, wet against his skin, and he runs a hand through your hair, trying to soothe you. You cling to him, your grip almost desperate, and Tech feels his heart break a little more.
You've been through so much, endured so much pain, and he was part of it. He was responsible for it. And he doesn't know how to make it better. He doesn't know how to take away the hurt, the betrayal, the fear. All he can do is hold you, and promise to never let you go.
"Cyare," he breathes, his voice choked with emotion. "You will never lose me. I am yours. Always."
And then, you lift your head, and his eyes meet yours, and Tech can't stop the surge of emotion that rushes through him. You're so beautiful, so perfect, and he can't believe how lucky he is. 
You're the best thing that has ever happened to him, the only thing that has ever made him feel alive. And now, here you are, in his arms, telling him you love him. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's dreamed of. And it's real. You're real. You're here. And you're his.
"I love you," Tech whispers, and then he leans in, capturing your lips with his.
The kiss is soft, gentle, filled with everything he's feeling, everything he can't say. And when you pull away, Tech's heart skips a beat, and he wonders how he ever thought he could live without you.
"I love you," you whisper back, and Tech can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, the tears that sting his eyes. He holds you tight, and the world seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you.
He's never letting you go again.
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itsabouttimex2 · 2 months
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you’ve dragged me into the LEGO monkey kid fandom
so I was wondering macaque with a healer kid? If that’s not too much
I’m very sorry but I love your writing
Little Healer Headcanons
Macaque and Ne Zha
(I always love hearing that I got someone into Monkie Kid- it’s one of the things that makes me happiest to read!)
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You spend a lot of your time patching this guy up- by design. Since Macaque has an adorable little friend to mend his injuries, why should he temper his powers? The sable simian never bothers to hold back in the slightest.
Macaque goes out of his way to go overboard, knowing that his dear white mage will be there for him with a stave and a worried frown.
Unfortunately for him, it seems to be that you have a longer line of clients and customers than ever before- not that it’s really a surprise.
Someone was on the other side of all those fights he was winning, after all~
And he’s willing to leave a few more bruises if the crowd can’t part for him fast enough- after all, Macaque will always be first in line to receive your services.
And sure, maybe he’ll ignore your squawking and protesting when he forces you to shut down the itty-bitty clinic (probably just an unlicensed street stall) early to get in a good snuggle, “repaying the favor” by tossing you over his shoulder and heading home so he can coddle you like his own child.
He’ll force you to take breaks by jamming stolen handheld consoles into your hands, setting you up with slow turn-based games and decoration simulators to slowly lull you into a cozy sleep- all while resting your head in his lap, of course- he’s gotta get that fatherly skinship in.
Plies you with healthy snacks and fruit-infused water made to keep one’s energy and health up, ensuring that you’ll always be at the top of your game- but only for him, of course!
If you ever do come around to calling him “dad”, he’s going to be over the moon- in his own subtle way.
He’ll sneak into your room late at night, Rumble and Savage casing the perimeter, and… press a soft kiss to your forehead, snap a little tracker-embedded bracelet around your wrist…
And then drag you off the bed and take you home for good.
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Oh, he loves you so, so much.
Assuming that you, as a healer, fall into the “white-hearted healing cutie” stereotype, then you are Ne Zha’s de-facto favorite person.
He finally has someone who stays out of trouble and does as told? He finally has someone who listens to his commands and acts when told to act? Someone loyal and sweet and obedient?
Perfect.
“As always,” he says frequently, one hand on your head, “I am proud of your efforts to serve our realm.”
“Thank you,” is your return, polite and curt. It earns you another head pat, though Ne Zha is always careful not to muss your hair.
“Very good. I’ll send in the next soldier.”
This is the life he’s built for you, safe and slow and useful.
And with him by your side the days drift and bleed, every moment of your time micromanaged and utilized.
It’s rare to get a break unless you work yourself to the point of sickness, at which point he’ll tuck you in with a mug of hot tea and a small basket of fruit on the bedside and “Maybe a bowl of those noodles from that mortal store you like, if you behave yourself, Y/N.”
He tries to be sweet and gentle, but Ne Zha still has a temper and is still very stressed out by the stunts of the Monkie Kids- it’s not impossible that he’ll snap and take his anger out on you.
And though this is pretty much the literal worst thing he’d ever do to you (aside from MAYBE a very mild flogging given the Celestial Realm practices that in the novel? It doesn’t fit with his character at all to any degree so I’m split. He seems more like a non-physical lecturer) it still hurts like hell to work so hard and be so good and still get punished for something that wasn’t even your fault.
And Ne Zha feels like trash afterwards but is too proud too apologize, and regardless is too worried that he’d lose his control over you if he treated you like an equal and outright said “sorry”, so he just takes a trip to the mortal realm and buys you something hot and fried.
He’ll wrap the grease-stained paper in a cloth sack to prevent any confused stares that might arise in the Celestial Realm, and book the horrid food down to your room.
Though the quality leaves quite a bit to be desired, and the healthy value makes him want to scream and slap the burger from your hands…
You’ve stopped sniffling.
And that’s enough for him
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