#not only that the finals are next week and and cant focus because im on my god damn phone that isn't functioning properly.

[stuvvshii]

long long boring post about my lasik surgery experience because i can:

first of all my vision background: from 12 years old to 18 years old my vision dropped from -2 to -8 because of my doctors incompitence. i also had astigmatism.or i didnt. each doctors just told me i do or i dont depending on god knows what. anyways. most of my life i was wearing glasses cause i cant touch my eyeballs and put things in them my whole being is like NOPE. so no lenses.

i knew about lasik for a long time and it was just some magic surgery that zeroes ur vision to the starting point. i knew in the worst case i could lose vision but i have main character syndrome and i thought it wont happen to me. and i was lucky it didnt.

couple years ago, i grew tired of glasses. at my big ass -8 -8.5 they are HEAVY. it was not fun to exist. my biggest fear now is going back to glasses, i started to hate wearing em and they gave me a lot of headaches.

so i contact a certain clinic and they say i pass, everything is fine and week later im getting the surgery. they r pretty open about me not being able to have the best vision but it will be good 0.8-0.6. okay i say its still better than what i have.

first of all the surgery. u come in u lay on the table they strap u down they put some torture machine on and u do ur best at looking into this one green dot. if u stop looking there the laser stops working and its pretty safe. at one point u lose ur vision completely on one eye the laser currently working on and its a very scary experience. the surgeon warns u about it. while going through the procedure i noticed my left eye hurted more during it, which i told the doc. they said its okay.

right after the surgery u sit in the dark room with ur eyes closed and u cant stop crying. ur eyes just make insane amount of tears. they also feel numb. about half an hour in the doctor calls u closer and u can open ur eyes finally. all u see is a blurry mess at the moment but its a bit clearer than ur raw vision before. they give u meds instructions and just general dos and donts. what i noticed tho is NO ONE ever follows them all. i did cause i dont want to lose my vision due to being stupid af. most of the people would sit on their phone the next fcking day and im sure it could give some people worse experience than they couldve have. u leave the hospital by taxi in sunglasses, preferably with someone by ur side, for me it was my uncle cause my parents were working.

anyways, for the next month i had no connection to the world and all i could do is take my meds, do my eye workout (the most important of which are the focus ones) and just fuck around house. first days were the most awful ones. first of all u r a crying statue from now on. tears just keep fallin ur eyes feel like there's something inside and all the meds r very mean and hurt ur eyes even more.i dont rememeber it but my mom told me i said "if i knew it hurts this bad i would never do the surgery"

slowly my vision gained strength and i was starting to see rly good. my eyes felt a bit dry when its windy or dusty but i had my eye drops for that (i still use them, they r pretty expensive but i just need them for comfort now).

about a year in my left eye was being a complete dick and the doctors gave me special meds and instructions to fix it, it helped at the time.

overall in 2 years it didnt get much worse. but sometimes i feel very uncomfrotable for unknown reasons. sometimes i see pretty clearly but my brian for some reasons fucks with me and everything feels distanced?? idk how to explain it but like i can focus only on one thing and everything else just dissapears. also i cant see in the dark now. i feel like my vision is -8 when its night time. and i know what i mean i could see much better in glasses before. also the difference between my left and right eye can give me headache which was happening with the glasses before too so nothing new here.

after all of that. would i go through this surgery again? i would say more yes than no. would i recommend it tho? mostly no. but do ur own research and make ur own decision.i think its a big risk to take. but if u do it. please follow all the doctor recommendations. i know it sucks ass to sit without ur phone and tv and a lot of activities for a month.i was wearing sunglasses at winter. in russia. most ppl looked at me like i was the biggest idiot to exist. but please do. do ALL the exercises and the exact amount they told u to do them. they r boring but ull notice urself they help ur eyes to adapt a lot faster.

my vision now is 0.6 on the left eye and 0.8 on the right but it works in perfect conditions only, aka i slept well i didnt look into my phone for couple hours like an idiot and its pretty bright outside. otherwise i see much worse, about -1. its still huge improvement from where i was.

i heard ppl were doing surgeries for -2 vision and i would say i dont recommend it at all. u can see pretty well on ur own dpnt go the the risk of losing it for not so big of a difference

[quodekash]

AIGHT its saturday, i finally have time, lets binge the final abaab episode and then the two os2 episodes and then watch the trailer for next week and cry because holy hell patpran are coming back to us guys how does one deal

but first, let's focus on the task at hand: jack's amazing hair. and threezo. and also the actual plot i guess.

i literally just cracked my knuckles in preparation for this

NOOO I FORGOT HOW THE LAST EPISODE ENDED (its been literally two weeks since jack's hair this show was last on my screen what the hell)

OH WAIT YEAH THATS RIGHT THE EPISODE ENDED WITH THEM SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN

ignore my 'nooooo', its fine

NOOOO I SAW MY BOYS THREEZO IN THE OPENING CREDITS AS I DO EVERY SINGLE WEEK AND NOW IM GETTING EMOTIONAL

THEYRE LEAVING ME TODAY

WHYYYY

AND SO HIS JACK

HIM WITH HIS PERFECT BLOODY HAIR

I LOVE HIM

um-

LOOK AT THEM

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH

cher with his hands in the air like he's a farmer in a drought and its finally raining for the first time in months

jack not going insane but hes so clearly HAPPY and i LOVE HIM and with his hands on his hips and his perfect hair and his hair that is perfect and his happiness and his happy hair

tub going insane because MONEY

THREE HOLDING THE TROPHY BC HES SO HAPPY AND HES SO PROUD AND THIS IS WHAT HES BEEN WANTING FOR THE ENTIRE FREAKING SHOW

ZO SUPER PROUD AND HAPPY AND BOUNCING OFF THE HAPPINESS OF HIS BOYFRIEND AND THREEZO STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND RHBGHRGB

I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

HE IS HAPPY

IM SMILING SO HARD I CANT SEE

AAAAAAA

i love three so much

he looks like he feels like hes in a dream

like he cant believe the trophy hes holding is real

but it is! they won!! THEY WON AND IM SO PROUD OF THEM IM SO SO SO ZO SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU THREE

i love this music theyre playing

the video game music

theres a word for that

its like something bit music

im thinking 3 bit or 8 bit

i dont know things

I GOOGLED IT, ITS 8 BIT

IM SO SMART GUYS

anyway

i love the music

YAYYYYYYYYY

HES SO PRETTYYYYYY (youll never guess who im talking about)

also i freaking love aoi and her reaction

BRO WROTE A FULL ESSAY JUSTIFICATION BUT GUN GAVE HIM AN A WITHOUT EVEN READING IT AND HUGGED HIM

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"my script hasnt been completely said, boss. can i say it first?" he wants his essay writing skills to be appreciated

cher leaned forward. gun's gonna kiss him.

yup.

i love them so much

smoochy smooch in front of everyone

so sweet

so happy

i love themmmmmmmm

EVERYONE SCREAMING WITH JOY OMG

"i love you" "i know" THE THING THEY SAID THE THING, THATS SO FUNNY AND SO THEM, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

IM TEEHEEING MY WAY THROUGH LIFE RN, THEYRE SO PRECIOUS

THE CHEEK KISSES

THE PULLING INTO THE OFFICE??? DAMN GUYS

everyone freaking out and jack sitting there, happy for them but also like 'GUYS CALM DOWN' but mostly amused and most of all HAPPY HE IS HAPPY

IM SOBBINGGGGG GUN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE CHER AND BE WITH CHER AGAIN

THEYRE ALL SO HAPPY

im gonna have a mental breakdown later in the episode cos theres no way theyll all stay so happy the whole way through. theyll be happy at the end. but we're only at 1/4. i know how they do these things. 1/4 is happiness and you think nothing can go wrong, and then 2/4 will lull you into a false sense of security, and then 3/4 will crush your soul and rip it up then cry on it then put it through a paper shredder and then, near the end of the part, will try to put you back together like a puzzle near, and then 4/4 will have the pieces glued together and yeah youre permanently damaged but youll be happy about it.

hes gonna take that as a challenge

he will battle you to the death to try and be the first one to propose, mark my words

"weve been together for less than 10 minutes, youre thinking about marriage already?" "yes." lmao simp

oh look at that, angst has entered the building

get the tears ready, folks

oh

okay then never mind

but the angst will come in a different form, and itll come soon, mark my freaking words

bro cher is so freaking charismatic, how does he do it?

imagine him as a bard

hed never fail anything

everyone would love him

hes so naturally charismatic, and being a bard would just increase that

now im picturing bls but dnd and holy hell i do not have enough mental stability to handle that rn

"i havent taken off my underwear yet" "let me help you" I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

"lets not talk about this anymore" theyre gonna make out instead arent they

yup theyre making out

enjoy that, guys

BOY

THOOP

HELLO BOY

i love thoop's mum but shes so short its hilarious

this is so funny to me and i cant explain why

side note: LOOK AT HIS HAIRRRRR

he looks so done

i love him

i also love his hair

idk if ive ever mentioned that before but i do in fact love his hair

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

"if i got 1K every time you said love, id be a billionaire" cher, if everyone got 5 bucks every time i said love, we'd solve world hunger

Gun: "yes boss" Cher: "good job, intern" is this them foreshadowing os2?

ooooo new year party

THREEZO

zo getting three to correct the sign very specifically??? autism.

"when you say perfect, do you mean the sign, or us?" TUB'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND- I CANT

im with you there, tub

just in a different way to you

theyre too cute for me to handle bc i love them so much

tub jsut finds it too cheesy for his lonely heart

"when will this honeymoon phase be over" N E V E R.

hey thats what i said!

THREE'S HAPPY LITTLE NOD OMG GNRDFBGHDRBFJV

ARE THEY GONNA KISS

PLS LET THEM KISS

awwwhhhh just cheek kisses

i love cheek kisses but cmon guys, let threezo have their main character moment. just for a sec.

cher failing at cooking, i love this

"you dont let me shine" "please dont shine. im afraid youd explode my kitchen."

THAT LONG?????? JEEZ OKAY I UNDERSTAND GUN'S REACTION NOW, HOLY HELL

IM HOWLING

THIS IS SO FUNNY

guys i mightve been wrong, this episode might actually be entirely happiness and good vibes

pls let there be a threezo new years kiss

i need it

IM SOBBINGGGG THREEZO'S WISHES ARE SO SWEET AND PERFECT AND HOLY HELL I LOVE THEM MORE THAN PLANET EARTH

close enough

i love them

awwwww this new years surprise is so cute

YAYYY THE COUNTDOWN

BRB, CRYING

"i love you all year, forever, and all my life" NOOOO I CANTTTT

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

G3ERBHGSHKVERBSGKHDV

"youre the best new year gift for me" WH- AWW

THATS SO CUTE

IM SPEECHLESS

its so cliche but its so cute

i love this

i love that thye ended the series on new years

if it were like any other series or movie or anything at all id probably gag but i love them all too much to gag

i feel like its important to know that the italian version of "youre the best new year gift for me" translates roughly to "for me, you're the best gift of new year's ive ever received" and im-

"except when im using the bathroom. thats my personal time" PFFFT

im sensing a parallel to episode 2

(which, btw, its insane that they kissed in episode freaking two)

(tinngun almost didnt even get to it in their final episode for goodness sake)

THAT WAS SO GOOD

THAT WAS SUCH A PRECIOUS ENDING

overall: criminally underrated show, incredible characters, incredible chemistry, incredible acting, holy hell i cant believe its over. i love this show.

AIGHT, time for os2.

[princesscaloriesblog]

blog entry 1 - dumb anorexic brain

hello. ive started this account to use as a sort of journal and a way to express my eating disorder struggles. i dont plan on anyone reading this but me, and since i feel like i have no one to turn to ive decided to share my thoughts here. if you are reading this, im 20 yo, use she/her pronouns, and welcome to my journals!

my cal intake for today has been 180 cals + coffee (100 cals ish? not sure) so 280 calories. i hope i dont eat anymore tonight even though im hungry lol, but my roommate wants to grab food with me later so im not really sure what will happen yet.

my biggest struggle for the last week has been school. im currently in uni taking seven classes and im so overwhelmed with work. i think it would be so much easier if my thoughts werent so clouded and constantly so disordered. all i can think about is my calorie intake, my weight, what i plan to eat, and how others perceive me. im sorry but i cant focus on studying when my brain is just full of these thoughts contantly!!!! which leads me to my next problem which has been the idea of dropping out.

the main reason i want to drop out (just for a semester, not indefinitely) is because of my eating disorder. if im not focusing well in school id love to go to a treatment center and finally recover after these long years of struggling with my eating disorder behaviors and then the most recent 2 years of having an actual eating disorder. for some context, ive been insecure about my weight and body image since i was 9. however i think ill save these traumatic stories for another entry lol. anyways, i just dont feel sick enough. im only at bmi 19.9 (finally out of bmi 20!!!! yay) and i feel like i need to at least be underweight to go into a recovery treatment. otherwise i just feel like im faking my disorder and no one will take me seriously. my boyfriend does take me seriously, but i dont know if my family or other people will. im not thin enough for people to care. i dont deserve recovery right now. what am i recovering from, an average weight??? my failed weight loss attempts???? i dont know what to do with myself genuinely. im tired of my brain being filled by these thoughts but its still not enough. i am never enough. i just want this hell to be over but i doubt it will for a long long time.

anyways if youre reading this i love you, this is gia signing off so goodnight <33

[glitchbirds]

1 3 10 for horror asks

<3 1: top 3 favorite subgenres -WELL. i find it hard to really determine what i think the main horror subgenres to chose from even Are because i feel like you can make a nigh-infinite number of different subgenres or sub-subgenres- like, do i consider "splatstick" its own thing or just a subset of a splatter film? or of horror comedy? are zombie films just a type of monster movie, or are they their own separate thing? etc etc broadly speaking, i feel like i like most types of horror, i clearly like slashers a lot, and i love a lot of psychological stuff; and i do really like horror comedy when its done well (a lot of modern horror comedy in particular is very mediocre to me, feels like theres more and more of a tendency towards either lowbrow edgy offensive dudebro comedy OR annoyingly self-aware fourth wall breaking w/o an understanding of how to use metahumor appropriately... the latter also creeping into a lot of modern slasher films, even if theyre not strictly horror-comedy). i love found footage and a lot of highly experimental surreal stuff, though both feel more like descriptions of styles than genre (but then, film noir has more or less escaped the confines of "only referring to visual style and not actually a distinct genre", at least depending on who you ask, so why cant "found footage"?) and i really have become more and more fascinated with exploitation films this last year, which is itself a ridiculously broad "genre" whose definition seems to change depending on who's describing it at any given moment, and which definitely crosses over heavily with horror... idk! i think my top 3 would roughly be exploitation horror, psychological, and slashers, but its up for debate 3: top 3 favorite decades -love this one because ive been thinking about this exact question a Lot lately. most of the horror movies ive seen have been from the 80s but i think my favorite decade overall is the 70s, its that perfect sweet spot just before a lot of common horror tropes became horror tropes and thus before a lot of stuff began to be repeated to death; a lot of my favorites are from the 70s (halloween, tcm, lets scare jessica to death, hausu, death bed, carrie, jaws, magic, alien... etc); and idk i just love the style of a lot of 70s films. even a really mediocre 70s movie can usually be partially saved by looking nice enough or having a good enough vibe to carry me through the runtime. the past few weeks ive been making more of a conscious effort to watch 50s/60s movies as well, including ones that i dont hear talked about that often (if at all) and ive been having a great time with that. i think next year im going to try to focus more of my attention on that general 50s-late 70s horror time frame and watch as much as i can from then, good and bad. and pre-50s films too, ofc (short answer: 70s favorite, 80s second place, maybe 60s third place?) 10: favorite final girl(s)

-laurie strode is obviously taking the top spot <3 love her. off the top of my head theres not a lot of other traditional final girls who come to mind, aside from sidney prescott; i do LIKE final girls like nancy from elm street or stretch from tcm2 but i dont consider them favorites. most of my favorite horror characters (at least non-killer ones) arent from slasher movies, so im a bit more reluctant to give them the final girl status. and ash williams. obviously

[lostacelonnie]

Sorry this took a bit to get to time slipped right by & life happened a bit. Plus i got my first tattoo & thus couldn't use my right arm as well for a bit. Weather here has been like. Back & forth between rain/snow & mostly sunny so i can only blame the horrors. Oh good! Im glad its mostly easy stuff for you this month. Wait what? Thats all wild & im glad those teachers got fired for that. If only we were that regulatory of teachers in the states. A win win situation indeed. A carnival? That does sound like a lot of fun i gotta add that on my list of stuff to hopefully see one day. Yeah honestly! Like something about schools just. Is way different & can only be explained by school air. Thank you! I got sparkle decently quick which i needed her for her buffs so im glad. Those 30 free pulls from the anniversary will help my archeron gain i hope. Shame jingliu is in the same patch so ill have to wait for her again. One day clara will come to me. I hoped it would be on sparkle's banner but i got e1 gepard instead. I cant even reach gold & gears because the final boss of swarm disaster is still beating my ass i need better imaginary units. Or to work on ratio maybe he can deal with that damn boss duplicating itself. Oh talents are another thing i should focus on maxing for characters i just. Keep forgetting. Next patch we have triple drop coc & su planar ornaments which is gonna be nuts i cant wait to farm then. Ive played wendy's arc a bit more & like. Wow cocolia is awful what the hell. Worst mom of the year. Im excited for you to continue them both are so good. Oh thats what all that was about okay. Seele best girl always. Oh no worries take all the time you need to jot it down. Yeah some people get. Real intense about their us patriotism & its. Embarrassing. My condolences on losing such an impressive noita run. One day ill get into honkai part 2. But for now its a slow movement through part 1

ah very fair and apologies on my part as well!!! yknow how it is. same old same old. i was personally also Quite busy with our dear beloved school festival which drained me for like a solid week 😭😭 but it was SO worth it. im def helping with it next year as well. AND YOO TATTOO??? THATS AWESOME....... man i wanna get tattoos when im older (and piercings. i dont have a Single one i feel inferior to like all of my friends) but ive never really known what Of. and yeah same with the weather..... it was like. 9 celsius like two days ago and its 25 celsius today. Wild. and thankies!!! i Got Through it (with varying results tbh) but not anything to get me really down so we chillen. AND YEAH RIGHT???? our school is just generally a hotspot for strange individuals (both students and teachers) but its usually in the positive way. but ah what can you do. and yeahhhhh i heard it kinda sucks in the us. and same!!! ive heard a Lot of things about the carnivals in spain since theyre a pretty Big Thing and our teachers love to tell us about them so i actually ended up looking quite a bit forward to seeing one someday. if money allows for it, that is. AND GOD FOR REAL. school air my beloathed school air. OH CONGRATS ON THE SPARKLE!!! to be fully honest i do Not know what her kit is because i wasnt playing That much when her banner was up. or rather focused more on just going through penacony, both story- and exploration-wise. AND GOOD LUCK ON ACHERON!! i managed to get her, her lightcone, AND claras eidolon in like. a 100 pulls which is probs a new record for me. currently saving but i dont know who for yet SHJD. ill see if any future penacony chars interest me (ive been Thinking about boothill, or aventurine for clara) but if not then its gonna be either jingliu or topaz. and ahh good luck with getting them as well in the future!! GOD I HATE THE SWARM. I HATE THE SWARM SO MUCH. GAHHH. the most annoying enemies in the game by a MILE. but ah what can you do. oh yeah very real i always forget in genshin but luckily dont really have that problem in hsr. and yeah im Waiting for that triple drops for my acheron since rn she just has. Very scuffed temporary gear. but not gonna lie her damage is pretty good regardless. i think the mechanic with not needing energy to use her ult but stacks of That One Thing instead is very fun and interesting. brings a bit of spice into the gameplay. AND AHHH I HAVE VERY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT COCOLIA shes a really interesting character imo. but thats revealed a bit more in the later arcs so i wont share too much hehehehe. tho yeah i agree she is Not a great mother. SEELE BEST GIRL ALWAYS!!!! and thankies!!! also yeah... but at least theres a lot of ways one can make fun of them. i literally cant stop saying "MY PRONOUNS ARE U/S/A" whenever i get a good mark on my english tests its just embedded in my vocab now. and have fun with honkai!!!!

[shushthisaintmytumbla]

Leaving This As A Reminder (11/7/23)

Hi Case. Been another few months since we've chatted and wow does my last post make me sad and shocked at how much can change in 5 months.

Lets quickly recap a friend update which is the shore unveiled some really disgusting truths about some of my friendships in this city. My "perfect" friend group i found was far from it and i dont even need to go into detail bc we are ok and we are healing.

I gravitated back to this channel because tomorrow i am about to reenter a healing phase and going to work on ending a relationship with D for the very forseeable future. While these past 10 or 11 months have brought us back together closer than ever, sometimes love doesn't conquer all. You two have tried your best (at least you have) to make something work, but in the end we've reached the last page of our story. He's not only become one of your closest ties in nyc, but he's taught you how to love, even when someone doesn't deserve it.

Over the past 10/11 months you went from convincing yourself that one meet up at a bar won't bother you and let him back in.. you just wanted to hear him out and get an ego boost that he still wanted you. You'd tell yourself its fine, I don't even like him anymore its just a hook up... but days and weeks and months went by and you fell right back into the trap, yet this time you had hope. Hope that there was a future, hope that maybe things this time were different. Hope that you finally cracked his code and could win the ultimate prize - being a girlfriend. But the second you hear that word leave his lips it felt...uncomfortable.

Maybe being in a relationship wasn't what you were searching for with him either - could it be that you finally just wanted him to want you? Because after months of actually experiencing the highs of being together (going to dinners, being invited to events, going out with his friends) you finally got a peek into a life together - but was it everything you wanted and more? Not really. There were still those anixous days of "is he going to text me today?", "why did he invite her to this event over me?", "why does he never ask me about myself", etc. etc. etc. There were also those tough conversations that led you to realize - Can this even go where I want it to go? D and you have very different ideas of where you are in 10 years. You want a family, you want to live near your family (CA), you love being adventurous and going outside and appreciating the little things. Of course im not saying he cant but he also prioritizes drinking, partying, staying out till 4am and in bed all day the next.. cmon case that isnt you.

While I can name many reasons why it wont work logistically I also want to remind you of how he treated you the past 3 years. He does the same thing OVER and OVER again. He leaves you uncomfortable for 24 hours and you have such crippling anxiety that it's all you can think about, you didn't eat for a day, you couldn't even focus on yourself/work. You can't even be honest with your parents because you think they'd think your a fool for being back together with this person who was only brought to their attention because of how much he hurt you that you were so depressed you had to just be honest.

If there is one thing I ask you to promise me is that please Casey you deserve so much more and there is someone out there who can give you so much more. D's patterns are never going to change - at least not for you. Because you are not meant to end up together. He served a beautiful story in your life that came with love, hurt, happiness, anxiety, and every emotion under the sun but it is time to pick yourself. I know the comfort he has provided you makes you feel so safe in a world where you don't always feel that way. But I am not only asking but begging you to choose yourself and walk away forever. There is the possibility that he comes back in 2 months time, but you need to not respond. PLEASE CASEY. I know one silly hi doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but it's exactly what got us back to here. I know you love/loved him, but its time to give that love you can give to someone who gives you 10x more back.

I know losing people is so hard for you, but losing yourself is worse and that is what is going to happen if you return to this. Your friends have begged you to walk away and i know its easy to say "you don't know him" or "you dont get it" but thats exactly why im writing this today. I do get it. I lived it. and I know I need to walk away and close this chapter of my life. I'll always hold a place for D in my heart and I do think he is my first love, but its time to find a forever love (especially in yourself first).

I am sorry if this came across harsh, but I love you. I am so proud of you. You are ressilient and have dealt with much more challenging things in this life and im sure another great challenge is just around the corner, but i'll just leave you with this...

If it doesn't challenge you it won't change you.

xx.

Casey

[manythoughtmanyprayers]

its been a few days already, and as much as i wished i could set all my feelings straight and be able to say "Im feeling x", i really cant, cause everything is still very confusing inside my head.

on one side im feeling relieved that all the stress and the fights ended, and all of the times i felt tired have finally come to an end. i will no longer hear people say things like "this isnt good for you" or "you should just end wtvr you have going on", which i love because for fuck sake, mind your own business, you know only what i told you, which wasnt that much, considering the amount of bad comments you people to tell me based on what YOU thought and saw, so i kept pretty much 90% to myself alone. i also get to try and focus more on myself and try to grow from where i am to become better, for me and for others as well (which doesnt necessarily mean i never focused on working on myself throughout all those months, its just now i only have myself to "worry" about, even though i will always care about you too).

on the other side, the nostalgic feeling i still get whenever i listen to the playlist i made while thinking of you, when i look at our polaroid or the flower you picked for me, or at your socks i accidently yet consciously kept in my wardrobe, it brings all those happy and loving feelings i still have for you, cause one doesnt go from liking someone this much to simply hate or dislike them. all of the good feelings i have for you are still here, very much awaken, and wont go anywhere anytime soon, no matter how much "i told you so" and "he wasnt good for you" i get thrown at me. because yes, maybe from the outside and from what little people knew, maybe we werent good for eachother. i know better, i know more than they will ever know, and i know all of the goods and the bads that happened between us, and where they all came from. i know that despite the bad shit, there were still amazing and fond memories that i would give anything to relive them again for the first time. and that is was gives me hope.

despite these last few weeks, and all of the flaws we have and our connection had, i still have hope that, if we both work on ourselves, to become better people, and the universe allows, we will come back even stronger.

despite me acting all calm and collected in front of everyone else, i still ache for you, i still wished none of this had happened, i still wish we were talking like we used to. im still filled with sadness that it didnt work out the way i wished, that all the hard work went to waste now that were not even on speaking terms (which i believe is for the best, for now). but like i said, i still have hope, that in the future, be it in the next few months, or next year, or whenever the universe thinks were both ready, that we will have another chance to do it right and to be happy. because like i always said, i like you and i want to be with you, be it now or in the future. and when i like someone, its for a very long time, and knowing that maybe there are still some feelings for me inside of you, makes me the more eager to wait for you.

[grippingbeskar]

The Element of Surprise | Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen: The Jump

mando x fem!reader

word count: 6.8k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral f recieving, m masturbation, overstimulation, kinda dom vibes) general sexual content, swearing

a/n: WOW FINALLY. I was feeling so unmotivated but all your lovely little messages and comments brought out my inspo!!! so yay another chapter!! im hoping to finish writing the story in the next couple weeks but I cant believe how far this has come WOW. anyways ill go now love u all bye!

p.s idk how well this is edited but just ignore the typos if they r there okay okay bye

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“What even is a Mythosaur?” Din sticks a hand out to stop you as another ship whizzes past, your eyes not moving fast enough to track it as it disappears into the distance.

Corellia isn’t as ‘city like’ as you first thought. The buildings are smaller, shorter, but there’s just as many people crammed into them. Ships fly up and down the narrow streets, and you swear they are going to burst into flames when they inevitably smash into each other, but they never do.

“Like a big bug. With two legs. Giant.”

“Now you’re just making things up.” You roll your eyes as you round the corner, and you just hear him huff, making sure the kids crib clears the corner of passing traffic before returning his attention to you.

“I’m not. Things are fast, too. Ran me all the way across the desert.”

“Sure it did. Did it lead you to the end of a double rainbow? Pot of gold at the end?” Dins hand grabs on to your forearm to stop you from crossing the road. Just as you look up at him, a giant golden ship shoots past, kicking up dust and sending a gush of wind straight into your face, pushing you back a little. “You know, I can see the face your making right now.”

“Go.” Din breathes, and only because you’ve been studying him so closely do you pick up the light tone in between, and you know he’s smiling.

You’d both been walking for about twenty minutes, arguing lightheartedly about stupid things that pop into your head, and you had been taking the piss out of him about it for that entire time. Everything seemed simple, so straightforward, and it made you think about how long this was going to last. The only other time you had felt this safe, this sure that where you were was exactly where you were supposed to be was when you were a kid. You felt more free than you ever had, and stronger than before.

Just being around the kid made you better, more connected, and now that you had somewhere to focus your energy, things seemed to come more naturally to you. It was always the thing you had struggled with the most - trying to quiet your mind for longer than three seconds to actually get something done, but here it was almost easy. You hadn’t said anything to Din, but when you were piloting his ship, everything seemed so much clearer when he was there next to you, so you had been conducting little experiments of your own.

You tried to focus elsewhere, on the kid or on your own happy places like when you were younger, but nothing helped clear your mindset, helped you reset like when you imagined him. He was impossible to not think of, so you leaned into it, and found you were stronger for it. Every time you tried to lift something through the Force, tried a new technique with the kid, you honed in all of the racing thoughts your mind constantly flashed of Din, and streamlined them into your own personal muse. It worked; a bit too well. You had noticed an almost overflow of energy, and you were restless - antsy to let it out.

“In here.” A large hand rests on the small of your back, directing you into the side of a building. As you pass through the door, you see a glimpse of the main hall, fit with a small circular bar in the centre and a couple people milling around the outside. Din keeps you moving straight up the stairs, not even looking into the room.

You jog up four flights of stairs before you finally stop, and you try to hide how out of breath you were. You see the flash of a light and then the door opens.

“Wh- do we not have to, like, pay for it?” Din pushes into the room, and drops the small pile of bags down at the front. You follow him inside and let your back pack slide off your shoulders, flinging it into the door at the end of the hall and watching as it skids along the hard wood floor.

“An old friend.” He says simply, as if it’s enough to answer why you snuck up the side of the building and broke into an empty room. At least you hope it was empty.

“Since when do you have friends?” Another door opens, and with a low mumble of something you don’t catch Din slides the kid out of his crib and lets him on the floor. Immediately he waddles into the hallway between rooms, and you see him flip a couple times in the air before disappearing around a corner, a few clicks signalling him opening and closing doors as he explores. You can’t help the little smile that appears - just a few days ago he was hopeless at getting in the air, but now he’s flipping around without a care in the world. Din turns to look at you silently before moving towards another doorway to the left and walking through it, this time leaving the door open.

This place must be huge. As you move further into the apartment looking space, you look down the hallway to momentarily catch Grogu’s giant head wandering into the kitchen, door shuttering closed behind him.

Of course he would find the food first.

You turn your attention back to the door Din left open, and walk inside of it, breath catching in your throat. You don’t see him at first, too distracted by the space. The room is plain; light coloured sandy walls surround you, and you think you see a light on in the bathroom under the closed door. You take another step, and don’t bother searching for Din because your eyes are fixated on the thing in front of you.

A bed.

A giant, gloriously fluffy bed, complete with enough blankets and pillows to take up almost half of the mattress. You jump, flopping your entire body onto the soft covers and sigh into them, practically sinking. As much as you love your little place on the Razor Crest, that tiny cot has made your back lock up on more days than it hasn’t.

Your arms spread out not even touching the opposite side of the bed, and you stretch, enjoying the enormous space. Pushing some of the pillows off onto the floor you shuffle yourself up higher, and it’s then that you hear the door to the bathroom open. You flip over, but not fast enough to react before he’s on you.

Within a second Din covered the length of the room and landed on top of you, straddling you to the bed and pinning your arms above your head. He was still in his full armour, and the image in front of you was almost a little daunting. You had seen him in armour the entire time you had known him, and even seen him above you like this, but there was something about the way his chest was dragging heavily with each breath, and how one of his gloved hands easily held both of your wrists above you that sent a swirl of heat and a little bit of fear through your whole body, and your toes curled in response.

“Hi princess.” He whispers above you and you have to close your eyes to hide the effect. He lowers his body so he presses against you, the cool metal burning your skin in the best way. “Not so talkative now?”

“Hu-h?” You try to open your eyes, but he’s just so damn close to your face, staring straight at you that you have to shut them again.

“You’ve been on my ass all day. Pissing me off.” Okay, now you look at him. You try to hide the little smirk of excitement that bursts through your face, and your cheeks flush under his accusation. You’d only been poking fun, but seeing him like this makes you think you might have to try a little harder next time, just to see what he’d do.

“Have I?” You tilt your head underneath him, and feel his grip tighten on your wrists.

“Smart-ass.” His free hand rests on your hip, pulling up your shirt slightly to expose skin. The marks of his hands he left days ago still remain, and you watch as he lines up his fingers with them, picturing just how they got there. Goosebumps appear where he touches, and he looks up at you to watch your face as he begins to slide your pants down. You shimmy trying to quicken the action, but he stops when he notices you moving.

“Stop.”

“Din, I-“

“I said stop.” The voice he uses make you listen immediately, and your hips stop their desperate attempt to be free of the fabric. “I want you to listen to me. Keep your hands there.”

Still straddling you, he lets go of your wrists and you obey. The rip of velcro frees the skin of his hands. You don’t think you will ever get over the way he takes off his armour, piece by piece like he’s unwrapping himself just for you. It’s a bit of a possessive thing, you think. Knowing that he only shows those parts of himself to you, and he does so without hesitation.

You watch him as he works through the process, not touching you apart from the weight of his body on your lower half. He undoes buckles, unties knots and slides off pieces of beskar methodically, never taking his eyes off you. It feels like it takes forever, much longer than it ever has before, and every time he takes off something new or a tighter part of clothing is revealed it gets harder and harder to keep still. When he finally gets to his undershirt your a wriggling mess, shifting and fidgeting until you forget what you were meant to be doing and you lift your hands up, fingertips finding the hem of his shirt. The helmet drops and your hands still - remembering suddenly.

“What’d I say?” Your eyes widen and you let go of his shirt, putting your arms back over your head the way he left them, but rolling your eyes as you do it.

“Such a good girl.”

You are pretty sure you stop breathing. He’s called you a million names, praised you a hundred times and somehow every time it just makes you fucking hotter. Right now, though, it almost seems different. It’s like he expects it from you. Like you should do it. There’s a tiny part in you that wants to be defiant just for the sake of it - just to see how he handles it, but first you want to see where he’s going with this.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Close your eyes.” You do, so fast and missing any of that defiance you were so sure of only seconds ago. You feel his thumb come up against your face before four strong fingers find the back of your neck and lift you up slightly. With your head hovering above the flat of the mattress, the hiss of his helmet fills your ears and you feel warmth all around your head. It’s dark, and all encompassing. You know you have your eyes closed but it was light outside, so what is it suddenly so dark?

“Open them.”

It’s still unbelievably dark, and you let yourself adjust to your new surroundings. It takes a second, but as each of your senses relax, you figure it out. Your eyes see nothing, but you can smell him all around you. The warmth against your cheeks wraps around the back of your head, and you only notice it because of the line of cool metal that rests at the base of your neck.

Are you-

“Din?” Your voice makes you jolt, and you hear him laugh above you, feeling the sound on your collarbone. It was the only way you could tell how close he was. The sounds you made were unfamiliar - metallic. It was similar to hearing Din, but high pitched and a little squeakier, which made you laugh along with him. He must have shut the visor off, because there’s no way he could see out of this thing like this.

“Is that what I sound like?” Din says between kisses that he leaves along your shoulder, working his way down slowly, slipping over the bunched up fabric on your shirt around your chest. You shake your head, and realise how heavy the helmet is when it swings you both ways.

“You wish.” His teeth nip at your skin and you let out a squeak, the mood slowly falling back into darkness, your breathing slower but more desperate.

“Mm.” He shuffles down your body, giving himself room to slide your pants off completely, taking your underwear with them and leaving you naked from the waist down. The bed dips and suddenly his mouth is kissing at your stomach, licking at your rib cage and then your hips, spending a little extra time appreciating those fading bruises at each one. “No more smart ass comments.”

“Do-“ He nips at your skin again and your whole body reacts, a modulated moan breaking the silence as he licks over the mark. He sighs and his forehead rests on your lower stomach, his hair tickling your skin.

“Stop making this so hard, baby.” Swallowing, you move a little underneath him but keep your hands above your head. “Say something if you want me to stop.”

“What do I say?” Your heart was starting to race in anticipation. You can’t imagine him doing anything you would want to stop, but it just makes you melt even further into the soft mattress, knowing how safe you are with him.

“Choose.” He keeps kissing, every inch of skin open to him, and you shudder when he kisses the top of your thigh - an indicator he’s moving closer.

“Mythosaur.” You say half heartedly, and he snorts, his face pressing into the top of your thigh. You can feel his smile on your skin and your whole body flushes thinking about what he would look like smiling.

“You are not going to remember that.” Muffled, he moves to the other side, continuing his slow pace.

“Yes I will. Just - keep going. I will.” Your legs tense and the soft material of the covers feel soothing when you scrunch them up in your fist. Your trying your best to do what he says but all you want to do is grab his head, breathing is suddenly becoming harder inside of this suffocating helmet and you are so hot and this thing is so tiny -

“Shh. Deep breaths. Just take a minute.”You nod and his hand spreads across your tummy, soothing circles bringing your mind to attention. “Relax, cyar’ika.”

The reminder he’s still there is enough to calm you, and you feel the soft, spongey interior of the helmet become less squishy and more comfortable with every breath. Whatever he tells you, you do. Okay. Easy.

“Why is it so dark?” He drags his nose along your upper thigh, and you feel his head drop back against your skin.

“Blacked out the visor. Use it to sleep.” He murmurs against your skin, and everything feels electric when he starts to move again. “You okay?”

“I- yeah. Yes. Yep.” Broken words drop into the room in a metallic pitch and he breaths a laugh at your mangled sentence.

“You look so fucking good like this.” He hooks his arms around your legs and positions himself between you, letting your body completely relax and taking the weight off your thighs. You know how soaked you are, you can feel it as he breathes against you, waiting - for what you aren’t sure. “I- been too long I- say something if you need me to st-“

He cuts himself off as he tastes you - finally - and you start shaking immediately. He always has you strung so tight it’s impossible to control yourself, and one strong arm comes to hold you down across your hips, pinning you into the bed. He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks, tongue trailing after and drawing lines and circles that drive you dizzy.

You can’t stop your hands as they come down to find his hair, tangling into the slightly damp mess. He groans, the sound vibrating straight into your core and even though the helmet keeps you in the dark your vision starts to spot. The other hand that was holding your thighs open comes between them, and you drop your legs open - inviting as he slides and curls one finger inside of you.

“Oh sh-shit Din. That’s it.” He responds to your praise by applying more pressure, and your back arches into him, the arm holding you down coming under your lower back and holding you against his face.

“S’sweet, but such a fuckin’ smart-ass.” He murmurs. The sounds of his tongue is almost amplified in the helmet and you moan out again. Din was a whole body experience, and only after a minute or two he had you reeling - arching and swearing, inching closer to your release. “Gonna shut you up now.”

“O- ah fuck D-“ He adds another finger and curls it straight into your core. Every tight muscle relaxes and tenses and everything spins, the extra sensory deprivation of the helmet making everything grittier. His tongue flattens, tasting as much as he possibly can and you pull on his hair - but it’s when he takes your clit back into his mouth and you feel his fucking teeth-

You say his name in a long, drawn out moan as you cum in his mouth, and he does nothing to draw you out of it other than utter small praises in between your gasps. His hold on you is tight and unrelenting as you black out under the pressure, your legs swinging around the back of him and pulling him closer.

He doesn’t stop like you expect.

Doesn’t slow down, doesn’t let you recover before sending you straight back into the mind numbing pleasure. You can’t see him, and his mouth is so concentrated on the patterns he’s drawing with his tongue that you can’t hear him talking. All you can decipher is your own metallic version of his name and the wet sounds of yourself mixing with his mouth and fingers.

“You get so f-fucking wet af-“ He sucks and bites and licks in between words, every movement making your hips buck “after you cum.”

“D-din it’s- i’m-“

“No. You’re gonna take what I g-give you, cyar’ika.” He dives back into your heat, fingers working you faster and his thumb replaces his tongue. Everything is hot and the arch in your back presses your shoulders further into the fluffy blanket behind your head. All the sensations mixed with his words and how fucking good his mouth feels has you-

“Fucking h-hell- shitshitshit so good-“ Your eyes screw shut even though you can’t see and you roll your entire body into him just to be closer. His hand wraps around you tighter, the entire lower half of your body controlled in his grip making it impossible to escape the pleasure spreading up your spine and across your stomach. “Din- I th-think I’m gonn- cum.”

“Th-that’s it. Good g-girl.” Your second orgasm bursts like a balloon inside of you, starting low in your core and exploding over your entire body, and it’s seconds after that you are shivering underneath him, completely overwhelmed.

You can tell how wet you are, the blankets underneath you soaked with the evidence but he still doesn’t let up. Somehow he feels closer than before, lips and tongue seemingly everywhere at once and his fingers pump in and out of you, every time making your hips and stomach tense and jolt.

“Din pleasepleaseplease- s’much I’m g-“ Floating and completely molded to how he’s holding you, he never pulls away too far that his mouth isn’t on you, lips brushing your overly sensitive clit when he speaks. He kisses it and lets his fingers come all the way out before curling them back in.

“Fuckin’ bratty before. Want my nice girl back.” You weren’t sure if he was talking about the walk here, or when you made fun of him while you were dropping the ship off, or maybe when you sucked him off so good he was about ready to give you anything you asked for - there were so many times he could be paying you back for but you don’t care - you just need him now. “Pissed me off.”

“B-but i’ll be- f-fuuuck i’ll be so good I sw-“ Another kiss to your clit has you crying out, and you swear you nearly cum just from the light touch. His mouth draws a circle all around your pussy, gathering as much of your cum as possible and taking it into his mouth before returning to your clit. Tears start to form on your eyes because it’s so much but it’s so good-

“Still with me, cyar’ika?” His lower lip drags over your clit and you try to nod, but the helmet is so heavy that you just squirm, one hand leaving his hair to lift your body up and make the movement possible. He takes his mouth off you for the first time in what feels like hours and you miss it instantly - your body squirming to search for him in the simulated darkness. “You gonna be sweet to me now? Know you can be.”

“Maker - whatever you want, Din. I promise okay-“

“That’s it, princess. Always know exactly what I wanna hear.” His words are so sweet but he just keeps fucking going and god- there’s no way to hold back the sounds of your sobs because it feels like he’s electrifying you, every movement sending waves of pleasure that make you flinch. Your hands are grasping at strands and you feel the bed dip again as he gets on his knees, pulling your lower half into the air, one arm still wrapped around you.

He has complete control, just like he had the entire time, and your legs drag up his back to wrap loosely around his neck, although your muscles are so strung out that you can’t really find a grip. You just fold and crumple the way he wants you to - doing whatever he wants and crying out his name as you cum again and everything goes white.

The sounds are so strange it’s almost disconnected that it’s coming from you - modulator buzzing as you babble praise and curses in no particular way, just whatever you can wrap your head around in the moment. You aren’t surprised you end up just repeating his name because he is all you can think about as pleasure shoots and crackles through every nerve ending. Somewhere in between you fall back onto the mattress and he switches hands, hearing a few quiet whispers of praise before he groans and shudders against you. When he finally settles, he has you whimpering and sighing the minute his mouth comes off you and his hand finally leaves your warmth, gently placing you into the soft blankets, throwing the ruined one to the side and placing you on the clean, fluffy covers.

At some point he slides the helmet off, because your eyes are still closed but you can feel the warmth of the sun on your face. It’s the sensation that starts to draw you back to your body, that and the warmth at your back when Din curls up behind you, his bare thighs intertwining with your own. You don’t remember him taking his pants off, but then again you don’t remember much except the way his mouth feels against you. It makes you shudder against him when he presses that same mouth to the back of your neck - soothing.

“I love you.” Every part of your body sinks into him at those words, and the arms wrapping you closer bring the biggest smile to your face.

“I love you.” You whisper back, and you feel the same reaction when he smiles on the back of your neck.

“You okay? It wasn’t too- too much, was it?” He runs his hand up your thigh, and you can still feel the slight shake in your legs at the feeling of him. You like that - a reminder that he was there.

“No. Fuck no. S’good. Just sleepy.” You mumble. You can’t help it - this bed is so big and fluffy, and he feels so good wrapped up behind you that you don’t care it’s the middle of the day. The time zones you’ve been travelling through have your sleeping schedule all out of whack - so crashing right now feels like absolute heaven. He leans up to kiss your temple and drops back behind you.

“I have to go tonight. I’ll leave the comm link out for you. You’ll be okay in here, though.” Almost forgetting why you were here, you just nod and link your fingers together. “When I come back, I need to- to talk to you about something.”

Suddenly sleep is not an option.

Talk to you? About what? Why did he say it like that? Oh maker - is he kicking you out? Did something happen with the kid? Maybe he finally found that Jedi he set out for. Not like you have been overly consistent with your ‘lessons’. So many options - all of them incredible anxiety inducing, but why does he sound so nervous? You swallow and try to fog out the thoughts.

“I- Okay.” If you say anything else you think you might produce word vomit and -

“It’s not bad. I just- I want to do it right. The right way.” You try to suck in a breath and choke on it, spluttering and coughing. Smooth. “You good?”

“Yep! Fine. When, um- when do you have to go?”

“Couple hours. Sleep, you need it.”

“So d’you.” His hand continues to drag feather light lines up and down your exposed skin, and the touch practically rocks the anxiety out of you and sends you into a lull, heart beat starting to slow and exhaustion catching up.

“Mhmm. Sleep.”

“Don’t want you to not be here when I wake up.” You shuffle backwards into him and he groans, you can feel the thing material of his briefs against your bare ass. “Come closer.”

“Your killing me, cyar’ika.” He rolls against you, and your practically begging him to fuck you. “You made me cum just from tasting you. Won’t be sleeping if I’m inside you.”

The confession isn’t lost on you, and as much as you want him all the time, your body is so tired. He can always tell when your tired, too, because that’s the only reason he doesn’t bend you over the headboard and fuck you senseless. You feel his breathing start to slow, and your eyes flutter closed, drifting to sleep with the sun streaming in the small gap in the window.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You feel him get up, and as much as you appreciate how quiet he tries to be, the clatter of beskar wakes you almost instantly. You open your eyes, careful not to catch him at a moment when his helmet isn’t on, but when you hear the familiar hiss you let yourself watch him, the utility belt clicking into place as you pull the cover down from over your head.

“I’ll be back soon.” You nod your head, believing him.

“I know.” Shuffling down into the covers, he comes to your side and a gloved hand brushes your cheek. “Kid around?”

“Mhmm. Ate too much and passed out in the kitchen. I put him in his crib. Want me to bring him in?” You nod. As much as you like how much privacy you are afforded in this giant place, you miss having the little fuzz ball around. Plus, it makes you feel safer when he’s next to you.

“Stay safe.” You mumble as the crib rolls in to your side of the room, and you see Din stop at the door. He turns back, and you think he might come back to you - he hesitates, and suddenly the air in the room gets a little colder.

You feel something - you aren’t sure what it is, but the Force always rushes over you when you least expect it. This feeling is unfamiliar and makes your stomach turn, almost like you are nervous for something, but you aren’t sure what.

He steps out of the room and you hear the door shutter closed behind him anyways. Maybe it’s the fact that he told you he needs to talk to you when he comes back. ‘Do it right’. What the hell does that mean? Why was he being so cryptic? Grogu yawns next to you and the crib opens when he stretches his arms out - grabbing.

“Alright. Just this once.” You pull him into the bed and he easily makes a little nest in the top corner, using one of the many blankets to curl himself around in a tiny ball. His calm energy nestles next to you, and you are suddenly too exhausted to overthink - drifting back into a deep sleep, and as good as the mattress feels underneath you, just before you fall asleep you find yourself imaging the cot on the ship, and Din curled up next to you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“CHECK THE BACK!”

A voice shouts you awake, and your instantly on your feet, rushing over to the bags at the door and grabbing the blaster. You don’t know the voice, but you swear it’s so loud the walls start to shake. Grogu mumbles himself awake, and he picks up on your energy, and that someone very much not The Mandalorian is inside your building.

Something breaks outside, and your heart beat pounds in your ears. Din said you were safe here - that he had an old friend. Din doesn’t trust easily, so something must of happened. You try to reach out with your senses but all you feel is chaos and determination. There’s at least 5 guys outside, and if you were on your own, with your new found strength you might take the chance to fight them - you have the element of surprise, but Grogu looks at you, big eyes wide, and you think better of it. You were still half asleep and awfully underprepared to fight one guy, let alone five.

Quickly you shove on a pair of pants, simultaneously placing the side table in front of the door with your mind and a flick of your wrist. The comm link sits on top of your table, so you grab it and move. You pick up your back pack and shove the blaster in, along with another unfamiliar weapon Din has brought with him.

Din.

He hasn’t come back. It’s light outside, and it was dark when Din left. Checking the clock behind you, you know it’s been at least seven hours since he left. Anything could have happened in that time, and he would never willingly let someone come after the kid, like when you thought those guys were going to break into the ship. Maybe he’s right outside, just biding time to take them all out in one swoop and safe you again.

You take one more second - just to check. You know what he feels like, strong and supporting, he would stick out in all this chaos with his calm energy.

You don’t find him, and the footsteps are getting closer. Din would never let anything happen to you - not if he had a choice. What if he…

No. He would have come back. You would know if something happened. Grogu would, at least. No. You would know.

Tightening the back pack straps you hear a crash right outside your door. Three strong bashes have the wood beginning to split. You scoop Grogu up into your arms. You look at the window, and remember the 4 flights of stairs you went up. You’re high up, and you haven’t made a jump this tall yet - but no better time than the present. Lucky you work well under pressure.

Quickly, you check outside below the window - no one suspicious. Ships still speed past, and you think if you time it right, you might just have a get away ride. You slide the window open. Another bang on the door and the table starts to slide out of the way, and a green arm reaches in.

“In here!” The voice attached to the arm shouts and you don’t take a second look. You leap - and for a second all you can hear is Grogu’s high pitched squeal in your ear. Everything slows, and you look down, watching as your feet lead the rest of your body and you plummet towards the ground.

You move in slow motion, and look to the right to see and white, flat like ship hurtling towards you. You let out all the breath in your lungs and shoot down, suddenly picking up an inhuman amount of speed.

The ship wobbles, nearly off course as your feet slam onto the roof, and you scramble to find something to hold onto. Grogu is continuously screeching in your arms and grabs hold of your shoulder, allowing you free reign to hold the ship with two hands.

As fast as the ships were going when you past them on the street it feels ten times worse when your on top of one. Holy shit. People looked and pointed as you flew past them, knuckles white with the force that you were hanging on to make-shift handles. Your stomach was flat against the exterior, legs swinging wildly out behind you every time the pilot took a hard turn. Maker - what the fuck were you doing? You look ahead, squinting, and try to make out what direction you were going but everything looks the fucking same when your flying through the streets on the back of some idiots speeder ship.

The pilot turns another corner and everything gets darker. You no longer have to squint as you start to get closer and closer to two giant buildings. Both towered over all the others, and were significantly darker, but the ship showed no signs of stopping.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” You take one hand off the part you were clinging to and bash onto the roof, but the ships pilot hasn’t even noticed you. They also continue to hurtle you towards certain death, because there’s no way this ship was fitting between those buildings. Oh god - you remember watching how these ships fly, and how they go horizontally to zip past buildings and avoid the main roads. You were going to get flattened if you didn’t let go soon.

The decision is no longer your own. Either you let go now, or you slam into the building and become road kill. Grogu’s little hand scrunches your shirt in a bunch and you close your eyes.

Din. Everything goes quiet.

He was there.

Walking you through the controls on the Razor Crest. You could smell him, it was like you were wearing his helmet again. He was all around but no where. You could see him in front of you, and you sucked in a deep breath as he began to take a step towards you. ‘Let go.’ He said. You can hear it in your ears, all around you like a sonic radar. It was deafening and soothing - and you grabbed at the energy that built in your chest.

“Let go.” He said. So you did.

For a second you thought you might have died. You pushed off the roof of the speeding ship with so much force - not Force but pure strength that you had to grab at Grogu before you lost him. It was weird; you knew gravity was going to hurl you onto the ground, and you knew you were going so impossibly fast that you should have been flattened into the wall in front of you. But none of that happened. You were suspended in the air - gliding towards the ground like you were a feather caught in the wind. You felt a lock of your hair brush against your cheek, and you watched as it floated; rippled in your peripheral vision. You blinked once.

Then it was over. You smashed on to the ground and rolled, wrapping the kid instinctively in your arms. You felt the pain of the fall instantly, and your arm was definitely bruised. You weren’t dead, though.

You weren’t dead?

Oh! You weren’t dead! As you came to a stop in an alleyway, smashing into an empty wooden crate, you started to put together the events that just somehow unfolded. You broke your fall. You flew. Kind of. All on your own.

When your brain stopped racketing around in your skull and you pushed up off the ground, the same hum of pride that you felt when you shoved the Razor Crest into hyperspace buzzes in your stomach. You brush off a few splinters of wood that the broken crate left on your arms.

The kid shakes his head, giant ears flopping wildley. You check him over - no cuts or bruises that he wouldn’t heal within a day. You sigh in relief, and then check yourself. Apart from a bruise already appearing on your arm, you were fine too.

You were fine. And you were the reason why.

All your life you had felt helpless - and now you were scaling speeding ships and Force jumping off them like no one’s business. All that un-used energy buzzes in your hands and chest, and you try to control your breath.

You were being chased.

Scooping the kid up and putting him in the top of your backpack, you slowly stand up and brush the dust off your pants. Ships continue to speed past the end of the alleyway, and you take a minute before you move towards the light of the street, not knowing if anyone saw what you just did. The street seems pretty empty when you peak a look, and after another minute you step out.

Two options. Left or right.

Where would Din go?

He was chasing a bounty. He would follow the tracker - only you didn’t have one. You did, however, have an uncanny ability to read the Mandalorian, and you may be able to use that to your advantage.

As much as you are feeling good about yourself right now, you know you need to find Din. You had no way of protecting yourself against that many guys without him, and there was also the daunting feeling that something may of happened to him. You need to find him - and fast.

The comm link! God - you were slow. Years on Tattooine had you never relying on technology, but you scramble to find the tiny little speaker and shove it in your ear.

“Hello?!” You take the earpiece out and shake it a bit, and then put it back in. Nothing.

The comm link was connected to his helmet. There is no way he wasn’t hearing you right now.

“Hey! Mando?!” You don’t want to say his name because you don’t know who can hear you right now. “Please. Are you there?”

Silence. Absolute silence. How was he not hearing you? You were yelling on the inside of his helmet - and there was only one plausible way that he couldn’t hear you.

“Ahh!” Grogu yells and hits you on the back of the head.

“Hey! I’m trying, okay?!” You hadn’t realised there was a tear in your eye until it fell onto your chest. No. You would know.

Shaking your head, you face the street again, keeping the commlink on, just in case. You turn left just because you feel you should, heading away from the giant building that nearly flattened you. A tiny ‘hm!’ of content comes from the back pack and you roll your eyes.

Grogu knows he’s okay too, and he needs you to focus because as strong as he was, he couldn’t do it without you. And you couldn’t do this without him. The sun begins to set as you run across the street, heading further into the city. You figure if a bounty was hiding out on a planet like this, they would go into the most populated area and hide in plain site. It’s what you used to do on Tatooine, and as much as you hate to admit it, all that hustling is going to come in handy right now.

You found him once - albeit by accident, but you could do it again. Din was fine - and you were going to find him.

***********

tag list:

@avatarkanemi

@fishthemenace

@sparklykeylime

@razzle-my-berries

@solomonssimp

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

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@leithatnight

[windose20s]

the final member of my talentswap’s tranfem trio (members 1 and 2 are linked on their respective numbers) !!!! here she is, lucky student!sayaka !!!

im worried she looks too similar to her canon - i tried to make her palette a bit more green but i dont think it worked too well twt

also, i’m gonna start reblogging all of my content on this au from my main to @protagchihiro! big posts (such as character posts like this) will stay originally posted to here (my main) but that’ll be my ‘art blog’. everything will probably be originally posted on main first because i’m really bad about actually USING my sideblogs lol

as usual, extra doodle + backstory under cut!

she’s like, makoto inverted if that makes sense

okok her backstory is a lot shorter and more of an explanation of her luck cycle. but still :

sayaka has almost constant good luck, but it’s little things: the rain happens to stop when she leaves the house, she gets good grades even though she never studies, etc.

however, every few months something bad happens; she gets locked out of the house while her father is out of town, she gets blamed for an incident she was a bystander in, etc. the longer it’s been since the last bad thing, the worse the next one is.

the only major good luck she’s had was winning the hopes peak drawing. directly after, two bad things occur: nobody is available at all to help her pack her things/move into the dorms, and she hits a sudden drastic growth spurt that causes her to outgrow all of her clothes in a span of a week.

this is the only time something like this has happened, but it’s hypothetically how her luck cycle goes. she has constant little sprouts of good luck over a few months, and then one bad thing happens, OR, she gets one big instance of good luck, and then two bad things happen.

this is less backstory and more just character-building, but in the killing game version of this au, her motive video is changed to her tight-knit group of friends from her old school, since she doesn’t have an idol group when she’s not…an idol…

(also, i do have two versions of this swap: non-despair and kg. i cant stand to see my personally developed babies die, though, so i mostly focus on the non-despair vers)

[baroquebucky]

lover is a day

a/n: hi pals !! here is a sort of angsty but fluffy fic inspired by another cuco song ! i cant believe tfaws is over i miss them already :[ lyrics in bold ! srry for any typos </3

buckys mind is racing all the time, you’re there to slow him down

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

will you love this part of me?

Bucky tried his damn best to keep you out of the avenging part of his love. He never introduced you to the team, only telling Steve about you and Sam finding out because he stole Buckys phone and you just so happened to call him.

You saw the trends on Twitter, seeing the videos of your boyfriend easily take down seven men in a bar in madripoor. You tried your best to not watch it, knowing he wouldn’t want you to. Curiosity getting the best of you, you clicked the trend, mouth dropping as you saw the way he fought.

His eyes were cold, he moved like it was second nature to him, it was frightening to see how easy it came to him.

You jumped as your phone vibrated, an incoming call from bucky pausing the video. You hesitated before answering, putting on a bright smile and trying to forget what you had just seen.

“hi doll face” Bucky smiled, you heard the thumping of music in the background.

“hi buck, are you at a club?” You questioned, a smile on your face as he let out a sigh, rolling onto his back on the couch he was on.

“I’m at Sharon’s place, she has this whole museum club thing going on” he explained, your eyes wide at the mention of the agent.

“Sharon? like Steve Sharon? Sharon from shield?” You questioned, bucky smiled at your interest, nodding along to your words, quickly replying when he realized you weren’t on FaceTime.

Bucky kept you in the loop, not wanting you to get caught off guard if anything were to happen. He just made sure you were never in danger and no one knew about you, as much as he’d want to shout from the roof just how much he loved you.

“that’s the one, I’ll explain when i get back” he spoke calmly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands as he put you on speaker.

Bucky talked about some movie he wanted to watch, your mind drifting back to the video, your heart thumping in your ears.

“doll?” He asked, his voice echoing in you room.

“what, sorry i got distracted” you replied, trying to play it off. Bucky frowned, his heart sinking at the realization.

“you saw it” he spoke simply, moving to sit up on the couch again, his eyes focusing on the floor.

You wanted to lie, say you had no idea what he was talking about. But you couldn’t, mouth opening only to close seconds later.

“I never wanted you to see that part of me” he spoke, you stayed quiet, letting him talk.

“Doll, I’m not him anymore i promise” he hesisted, “Zemo made me do it and i didn’t think i would- i just im gonna go” he spoke, hanging up quickly, heart heavy.

Furthering my distance from you

Bucky was never the best at speaking his mind, always too caught up in his own thoughts to say what he felt, thinking it never mattered and he should keep to himself.

You texted him right after, telling him to please take care, that you loved him. He didn’t reply.

It wasn’t for another couple days when he came home, entering quietly trying to not wake you up in case you were asleep already.

He set his bags down softly, entering the room and expecting to find you curled up. Buckys heart raced as he looked up to see you staring at him with a smile on your face, getting off the bed quickly and throwing yourself onto him.

“i missed you so much james” you whispered, squeezing him slightly as your arms wrapped around him.

“y/n i-” he began, pushing you back softly. You let go reluctantly, knowing he wanted his space.

I’m okay as long as you keep me from going crazy

“Bucky, it’s okay” you replied, stopping him from going down a rabbit hole if you didn’t. You looked at him, the light from your bedside lamp only slightly illuminating the room.

“i know thats not you anymore, sometimes you have to do something’s to get stuff and i get that angel” you spoke, looking at him softly, slowly grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“i still love you bucky, with all my heart” you smiled, wishing you could see the way his cheeks flushed at your words.

He looked up from the floor, you could barely making out the way his lips turned up in a small smile.

“do you really?” He whispered, stepping closer so that your faces were only inches apart. You nodded, eyes flickering to his lips after a couple of seconds.

“I love you more doll” he replied, ears burning as you pulled him in for a kiss, holding the collar of his shirt to pull him closer.

You pulled away with a smile on your face, looking at him for a second before throwing your arms around him, holding him tightly. Bucky wrapped his arms around after a second, placing a kiss ontop of your head, never wanting to let you go.

You can’t get by with a lie

Bucky shot up, sweating and breathing heavy, looking over to see you stirring slightly at his movement.

“buck?” You mumbled, eyes still closed as you turned opening them slightly to reach for the super soldier. You placed a gentle hand on his vibranium one, looking at him with your fuzzy vision.

“nightmare?” you mumbled, sitting up and looking at him, his chest still heaving as he shook his head.

“no it- I’m fine” he spoke, “Cmon let’s get back to sleep” he smiled tightly but you shook your head, looking at him sternly.

“James we talked about this, please, talk to me angel” you looked at him, now fully awake and wanting to help bucky through his nightmares. He hesitated, sighing and fiddling with the edge of the blanket.

“okay” he nodded, heart racing as you helped him through his nightmare. You reminded him how he had changed, how he was a new person and he was trying his best to make amends.

“You’re okay, you’re here and you’re free” you spoke, hugging him tightly and stroking his arm soothingly. Bucky nodded, closing his eyes and focusing on your beating heart.

Funny thing about you is you read me pretty well

You clenched your fist, wanting to throw your laptop across the room as your work frustrated you once again. Your breathing was heavier and you let out a small sigh, not wanting to alert bucky.

After a couple more minutes you felt the tears pricking your eyes, squeezing them shut in hopes they would go away.

You got up quickly, heading toward the kitchen to get a drink of water, leaving bucky alone in the room. He turned to look at you, noting how fast you were walking and the way you were breathing shakily.

Bucky gave you a minute, waiting to see if you’d come back. When you didn’t return he followed you, seeing you staring out the cup in your hand with intense focus.

“doll, what’s wrong?” You looked at him, putting a smile on your face and shaking your head.

“I’m fine buck, just thirsty” he frowned, walking towards you and pulling you into his arms.

“i know you too well for that to work on me doll” he sighed, stroking your back softly as you but back tears, finally letting a sob out. “let it out doll I’m here.”

Me and Mr. Heart we say the cutest things about you

Bucky smiled at the way you jumped for joy when you saw a dog in the park, immediately talking his ear off about how you had always wanted your own.

“don’t you think we should adopt? I think we’re at that point y’know?” You smiled, starry eyes as you turned to look at him.

Never in his life had he felt more in love, he thought of how perfect you looked, with slightly messy hair from the wind and a stain on your shirt from the time he accidentally splashed paint on you.

He felt the world around him fade away, focusing only on you and your words, rattling off some facts about people with pets being happier in an effort to convince him.

Bucky thought of the way you had always cared for him, living him with all you were. He thought of how you were the most caring person in the world to him, how you were the most radiant person in the room no matter what.

He loved you so much and all he wanted was to make you happy.

“I’ve always been a cat person” he teased, loving the way you rolled your eyes with a playful smile on your face.

“we could get a cat, they’re calm and sweet” you nodded, taking his hand and pulling him towards the parking lot.

How could bucky say no when you looked so excited?

You held the white cat in your arms a few weeks later, a huge smile on your face as he purred into your touch.

“welcome home alpine” you smiled, setting the cat down and letting him explore.

Buckys heart grew in his chest, you seemed so unreal. You were everything he ever wanted and everything he ever needed. And you were all his.

You looked at bucky, a smile on your face as he picked up the cat, setting him gently on his lap.

“thought you were gonna get us a dog the whole time we were there” he spoke, looking at you as you stared at the pair, standing across the room and putting away some cat food and toys.

“you said you were a cat person” you replied, “plus you’re happy right?” You questioned, walking over and sitting down next to him, reaching out to scratch the back of Alpines ears.

“very happy doll” he smiled, eyes settling on the cat in his lap, wanting to place kisses all over the now sleeping feline.

“then I’m happy that you’re happy” you smiled, kissing his cheek softly, letting your head rest on his shoulder and enjoy the company of your now two favorite boys.

My lover is a day I can’t forget

“Do you remember how we met?” You asked suddenly, bucky smiled as he recalled the memory.

“doll it’s 3 am” he chuckled, the streetlight sneaking in through the curtains as you two lay in bed.

“so you don’t” you huffed, turning so your back would face him. Bucky smiled at your reaction, quickly turning you back around to face him.

“of course i do doll” he replied, a soft smile still on his face, “why?”

“what did you think of me?” You wondered, wiggling a bit to get more comfortable. You had a small smile on your face as he began talking.

“i thought you were too nice, they got your whole order wrong and you still ate the whole thing” he smiled.

Buckys eyes had immediately landed on you when he entered the small diner, seeing you smiling with a couple of your friends.

Steve was insistent on getting him to go to more places and this was #1 on his list.

“so those are my favorites you can always look through the menu though i guess” steve smiled, noticing his friends focus on you.

“thank you!” You smiled at the waitress, taking the dish from her, turning to your friends as soon as she left.

“i didn’t order this” you grumbled, your friends insisting you send it back.

“but what if she’s having a bad day already? and this is the last straw? It’s fine i can just eat it it’ll be fine” you shook your head, taking a bite and making a face.

“send it back y/n!” Your friend persisted and you shook your head, you were so stubborn.

“it’s not that bad!” You smiled, eating the whole thing, “wish it was the other one though” you giggled as your friends rolled their eyes.

Bucky kept glancing over at you, trying to not make it obvious. Steve decided against saying anything, making easy conversation with his best friend.

You hit your friend gently, a blush on your face when your eyes had landed on the two super soldiers.

“okay don’t be obvious” you began, “that’s steve rogers and bucky barnes?” You whispered, your friends all turning and looking at the table.

Bucky had just so happened the be glancing over, making eye contact with you, his face went red as he saw your whole table staring at the pair.

“You were so shy, you didn’t even have the guts to say hi” he teased and you punched him softly.

“you didn’t say anything either in my defense” you smiled, fiddling with his dog tags.

You turned back quickly, slapping a hand on your face as your friends laughed. “I said don’t be obvious did i not!”

“didn’t you say you would die for him? You talk about him almost everyday” your friend teased and you hit her, face burning.

“shut up! they’re super soldiers what if they hear you” you snuck a glance at their table, seeing the way bucky had a small smirk on his face and Steve was holding back a laugh.

“i hate you guys, i really do” you mumbled, “should i say sorry? I feel like i should say sorry right?”

“You just want an excuse to give that man sex eyes” another one of your friends spoke up and you rolled your eyes.

You snuck a glance at bucky making eye contact, you gave a small smile which he happily returned, waving slightly. You waved back, quickly turning back to your friends as your heart raced.

You and your friends paid and left not long after, Steve and bucky following a couple minutes after. You said your goodbyes in the parking lot, giving them tight hugs.

“you sure you don’t want a ride?” They had asked and you shook your head, waving her off as you walked to the bus stop down the street, sitting on the bench and scrolling through your social media mindlessly.

You looked up as someone sat next to you, giving them a small smile before realizing it was bucky. Your eyes went wide and you froze, eyes focused on your now locked phone. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

You glanced at bucky, face flushing when you made eye contact.

“you were so charming, i still don’t understand how you could be so calm” you spoke, looking at him as he let out a snort.

“i was shitting myself the whole time doll” he laughed, “I’m surprised i didn’t fuck up the moment i opened my mouth.”

“I’m bucky” he smiled, extending his had for you to shake. You smiled back, shaking his hand before replying, “I’m y/n.”

You were quiet for a second before turning to face him again, “I’m sorry for my friends in the diner, they can be a bit much” you chuckled, fiddling with your phone in your hands.

“don’t worry ‘bout it, I’m flattered honestly” he replied and you cocked your head.

“oh?” You replied, confused at his response.

“I mean to have a pretty girl like you thinking about me? An honor really” he spoke smoothly, a charming smile on his face as he looked at you.

“i- well- uh, thank you?” You let out a breathy laugh, and he smiled at you, moving onto another topic of conversation.

Next thing you knew the two of you were sat together on the bus, laughing as you two exchanged stories and talked about your interests.

“this is my stop” you frowned, not wanting to end the conversation yet. Buckys heart raced, debating on wether or not he should make a move or not. Steve would surely have his head on a spike if he didn’t.

“i- well, if you want i can walk you, it’s dark and i don’t want you in any danger” he spoke, stumbling in his words.

“I’d love that buck” you smiled and he looked at you with a grin on his face, following you out of the bus.

The evening air was cool, it felt nice against your flushed skin, a smile on both of your faces as you walked towards your apartment. The sound of your laughter filling the open air.

You arrived at your apartment building, exchanging numbers and saying goodbye, already looking forward to see each other next time.

“can’t believe you walked me back” you giggled, butterflies in your stomach as you remembered how flirty he was that night.

“i never told you but i had actually driven to the place” bucky blushed, “Steve had been busy earlier so we met up there” he laughed as your mouth flew open.

“so you had to go all the way back to get your car?!” Bucky smiled bashfully, “you even paid to take the bus!” You squealed, sitting up quickly and leaning against the headboard.

“I wasn’t gonna let public transportation stand between me and the love of my life!” Bucky replied quickly, sitting up next to you.

“you barely knew me!”

“i wanted to get to know you! that was the whole point” he shot back, a smile on his face when he noticed how flustered you were.

“you did all that for me” you looked at him fondly and he nodded.

“and I’d do so much more for you now” Bucky smiled, kissing your cheek softly before moving to your jaw and then your lips.

“I love you so much doll” he whispered, pulling you into his arms. You let him wrap himself around you, holding you closely to his chest.

“i love you more lovely” you replied, placing a soft kiss on his bicep. He held you for a couple more moments before letting go, letting you move back to his side and lay on his chest.

“you do so much for me doll, you keep me grounded, you make me happy, you keep me from going crazy, wish i could do the same” he mumbled, his fingers scratching at your scalp and making your eyes flutter shut.

“you do all that and more for me too james, you just never realize” you whispered, yawning as he continued his movements.

“how about we go to sleep, and I’ll tell you all tomorrow just how much you do for me, yeah?” You mumbled, opening your eyes slightly. Bucky nodded, laying down and getting comfortable, moving so that he could spoon you, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“goodnight lover boy” you mumbled, he smiled at the nickname.

“goodnight dollface” he whispered, kissing your neck softly before closing his eyes, hearing alpines soft purring from across the room.

[technowoah]

Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2

You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!

- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!

- part 1 is here!

- masterlist!

To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.

After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.

It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.

There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.

You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.

New things were created from the end of a old one.

It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him

"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"

"Tommy what are you talking about?!"

"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."

Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.

You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.

"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"

He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.

"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.

"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.

"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.

Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.

"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.

"Hi I'm ghostbur!"

"I'm y/n." You said lowly.

You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.

"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.

"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"

"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.

"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.

"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.

"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"

"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.

"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"

You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.

"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.

The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.

Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.

Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.

In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.

Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.

The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.

Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.

Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.

You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.

"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.

"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.

"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."

Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."

"What?"

"Tubbo?!"

"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"

Oh thank goodness.

"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.

"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"

Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.

"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.

Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."

Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.

You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.

The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?

Was Technoblade right?

The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.

Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?

You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.

Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.

"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.

"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.

"Good!" He cheerfully said.

"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.

"Of course." He smiled.

You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."

"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.

"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."

"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.

"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"

"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"

Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.

"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.

"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.

"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.

A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.

"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.

"Ghostbur I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.

"Why not?"

You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.

"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.

Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.

You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.

The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.

"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.

You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.

"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.

"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.

"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.

You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.

You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.

"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"

"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."

"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.

"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"

"Oh! Techno! Hi!"

Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.

"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.

"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.

"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.

You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."

"Sounds stupid."

"Yeah it is. And they want you."

Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"

You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.

"They want to kill you Technoblade."

He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.

"You better not be screwing with me."

"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.

"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"

"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.

"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."

You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.

You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.

"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.

"Were you two leading them to my house?!"

"No."

"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.

"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.

"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."

"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?

"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"

"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.

"Then to hell with them!"

You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.

"Y/n?!"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.

"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.

"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.

"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.

"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.

"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.

"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.

"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.

"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.

Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."

"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.

The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.

"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."

You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.

There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.

"Techno!"

"Hey!"

"He's running!"

The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.

"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.

"There's no other way."

"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.

"There's no other way!"

Fuck

"I CHOSE BLOOD!"

A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.

"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.

"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.

"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"

Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.

"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.

"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.

The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.

The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.

You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.

"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."

"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.

"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.

"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.

Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.

"I see." You sighed.

Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.

"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.

"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.

"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.

You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.

"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.

You unfolded it and began to read.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

- 𝘋

"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.

"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"

"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."

Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"

You nodded and continued to listen to him.

"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.

"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.

"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"

"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.

You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.

"Hello."

"Hello Dream."

"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.

"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.

You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.

You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.

Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.

You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"

You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.

"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.

"Not really. What about you?"

"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."

"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"

"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"

"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."

Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.

A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.

"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.

"I don't know-"

"Dont bullshit me!"

"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.

You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.

Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.

You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.

[folkreid]

cheater cheater

TYPE: angst

WORD COUNT: 1.8K

SONG: should've said no- taylor swift

I walk into the living room Lila sitting down and Spencer was standing next to the couch she was on. Spencer and I have been dating for eight months, it's been going good. It's kind of hard to focus sometimes. All I can think about is him.

My phone starts ringing. It's Elle. I walk into the hallway to take the call. "We're on our way over there" she says through the phone. "Okay well Spencer and I are here with Lila" I tell her. "Okay good we'll be there in a bit" Elle says before hanging up.

I walk back to the living room. Spencer and Lila aren't there, where are they?

I hear a splash from outside. What the fuck?

I run out and see Spencer and Lila in the pool. They were kissing. Spencer was kissing her. What the hell. How could he do this to me. He grabbed her face with his two hands, just how he was kissing me earlier today. My heart sinks. Why? Why would he do this? I feel tears fill my eyes I quickly wipe them away. I'm at work I shouldn't be crying.

They finally pull away. His eyes meet with mine. "Y/n I'm I-I" he stutters.

I leave the room. I see Elle outside talking to Spencer a couple minutes.

-

Well we saved the girl and found the stalker. I've been avoiding Spencer. I don't want to talk to him. Or see him. Or be around him. Theres the problem. I live with him, we decided to move in together about a month ago. I moved out of my apartment. Which was stupid considering we had only been together for seven months at the time. We were so positive we would be a perfect couple.

How could I be so fucking naive.

Of course we wouldn't work out. I loved him more than he loved me.

Elle walks up to me, I was waiting for the elevator. "What's wrong Y/n" she notices me mood. "Nothing, can I stay with you for the night?" I ask.

She shakes her head yes. "Why, did something happen to you and Spencer?" she asks concerned. "No, I just think I need some space" I tell her. She nods as we enter the elevator.

We walk out the building heading to her car.

We finally arrive at her house, she opens the door and lets me in.

I flop onto her couch. "Did you tell Spencer you're here?" Elle asked me putting down her bag. "No" I mumble going into her cabinet grabbing a blanket and pillow. She kept extra ones there.

I lie them down on the couch. "He's been texting me like crazy, he says that he's worried." Elle tells me showing me the text. I take the phone from her hand and type. "Sorry I haven't heard from her" I send the text. I give her phone back to her and she looks at the text. She looks at me in disbelief.

"Y/n! Spencer just wants to know you're safe" she scolds me. "Please don't tell him i'm here I really don't want to see him." I beg.

She sighed. "Fine" she gives up.

I start to feel bad. I should text him. "I'm safe Spencer, I don't want to see you right now." I sent the message and lie back down in Elles couch.

About an hour passes and he sends me a couple of messages. I hear the door bell ring. Elle looks up from whatever she was doing in the kitchen over to the door. She goes over to it. I immediately hear Spencer's voice. "S-She won't answer me. She told me she was safe but-but i'm worried Elle" he cried.

He came in and saw me. He looked over to Elle angrily. "You said she wasn't here! Why would you lie to me!" he gets in her face.

"Reid stop. Elle didn't lie to you I took her phone any texted you from there" I explain. He mumbled an apology to Elle.

"Can we talk" Spencer asks me. Elle leaves the living room walking over to her room.

"What Reid" I say annoyed. I sit down on the couch putting my hands to my face. "I'm sorry" he whispers.

"I don't care just leave" I feel tears building up in my eyes. "Y/n/n" he starts.

"Reid, I don't care okay. Just leave" I stand up from the couch. He comes closer. "Don't call me Reid. Stop it. You haven't called me Reid since we've started dating." his eyes get watery as he says that.

"Well we aren't dating anymore" I back up from him. "Y/n, don't break up with me. Please. It was a stupid kiss" he begs.

"A stupid kiss Spencer?! Really? Why didn't you pull away!" I yell at him, tears streaming down my face.

"I-I don't know" he chokes over his tears. "Please I cant live without you" he cries.

"I don't care! You don't think it hurt me to see you with another girl!" I sob.

I back away from him and he comes closer. "Don't get near me" I sternly say.

I push him away and walk past him. He grabs my right arm. Almost by instinct I turn around and slap him. He holds his face and let go of me. I just stand and stare at him not knowing what to say.

"What the fuck Y/n!" he screams.

"I-Im sorry" I stutter nervous. I didn't mean to slap him I was just mad.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask. I feel so stupid. Asking him if he's mad at me after he cheats on me. What's wrong with me.

"Of course not" he sighed.

What now? What do I do now.

I broke down. I broke down. I slid down on the floor. Spencer immediately followed me down holding me in his arms.

I don't know what to do. I just feel hurt. So hurt.

I finally give in and sob into his chest. He holds me close and strokes my back. "Shh babe. I'm sorry love. I love you so freaking much." he says tears pouring from his face.

I don't even know what to think.

Do I stay with him? I love him but I just don't know.

I end up staying in his arms trying to make my decision.

I want to stay with him. I shouldn't let myself though.

"Spencer we need space"

——

It's been a couple weeks since Spencer kissed Lila. Spencer and I have talked. I try to sort out my feelings. And I finally did. I still want to be with Spencer.

We talked it all out today. And now i'm in the passengers seat of his car. We're going home, I didn't end up packing my stuff and getting a new apartment. I stayed at Elles house. She would go get me clothes from Spencer's sometimes.

I love Spencer. Like a lot. He tells me he loves me as much as I love him. I don't know though. I'm still kind of confused.

My thoughts were interrupted when Spencer put his hand on my thigh. I slightly flinched before taking his hand and putting it on his thigh. He gives me a confused look. "Sorry, I just don't want to be touched right now" I tell him. "That's fine love" he whispers before focusing on the road.

We arrive to his apartment. Oh I meant our.

I open the car door walking into the building. Spencer slightly jogs to catch up to me. We get into the elevator together.

Spencer puts his hand around my waist and brings me closer. He kisses my temple. "I love you so much" he whispers. "I love you too" I mumble.

It feels wrong. If he loves me why did he kiss her.

No Y/n. I said I wouldn't think like this.

I walk into our apartment and immediately go to our room.

I lie on the bed. "Are you going to sleep?" Spencer asks. "Mhm" I mumble.

He comes into the bed and wraps his arms around me. He spoons me. Why is touching me. Can he not. I scoot away. "What's wrong Y/n" he asked me. "Sorry" I whisper. I scoot closer to him. I can do this. It was months ago.

I lie on his chest and he kisses my head. I bite my tongue. Y/n don't say anything. He puts a hand under my chin lifting it. He gives me a light kiss.

That ticks me off. I get away from him and stand in the corner of the room. "Stop!" I yell.

"What's wrong baby?" he gets off the bed.

"Dont touch me please. Just don't kiss me or touch me or anything." I tell him. "I'm going to sleep in the living room" I say grabbing a pillow. "Why? Why are you going to the living room" he grabs my arm.

"I'm sorry I just don't want to be touched or kissed or anything" I tug my arm away from him.

"Why? Why can't I touch my own girlfriend" he looks at me angry. I can see hints of sadness behind the angry.

"Because" I say walking away from him. "So now I cant even kiss my girlfriend now?" he screams.

Something about that made me angry. So fucking angry. "Well maybe you should go kiss Lila!" I scream at Spencer.

I tried to let it go. I cant.

He looked at me in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me Y/n? You said you were over if!" he yells at me getting closer. I was basically cornered. He was right in front of me.

"How do you expect me to get over it Spencer" I say with tears running down my face. "I don't want you to hurt" he says. "What can I do to make this all better" Spencer asks.

"Nothing" I say honestly. There's nothing he can do to make it better.

"Please Y/n" he begs. I look into his eyes. His puppy dog eyes that I love so much.

"I think we should break up" I sigh.

I watch his reaction. It's as if you can see the exact moment his heart broke.

"No, No" he shakes his head.

"Yes Spencer." I grab my phone and keys to my car. He starts sobbing and I can't help but to feel bad.

"Leave, if you're going to leave do it now" he says in a low voice. I walkout his room not closing the door. I stand in the doorway he doesn't seem to notice. He goes into my drawer and grabs my favorite sweater.

He lies back down and cries into it. Y/n leave now. If you don't you'll get sucked back into this.

Spencer and I are over. All because of a kiss.

[logically-asexual]

i cant deny that fanfic and dracula daily have changed my life when it comes to reading

i never liked reading. it just wasn’t a medium i understood or connected with. i read books but didn’t quite *get* what was happening, ever.

fanfic helped me skip the parts of reading that i struggled with: picturing the characters in my head only based on written descriptions, and following a plot that i know nothing about and have no expectations for to guide me. i could finally read, and learned to appreciate the things i was missing due to the obstacles. it made it less overwhelming.

and then dracula daily has helped as a stepping stone, because the fact that the updates are short and spread out over months means i have time to connect with the characters, to focus on them and on my feelings about them, with the help of other people talking about the same thing i can have a better mental image of them, both in terms of physical appearance and of their personality.

it also helped because the daily pieces are read separately, and the plot is easier to digest. if i don’t remember something i just have to look back to a specific date and the mere date and title of the section is sometimes enough to remember what i need. i can follow through.

i can process the plot and the characters over the course of the day, so by the next day the mental picture i have is easier and easier to build, and the plot is not an intimidating whole but a new short update on what i already know, just as unintimidating as fanfic is for me.

attempting to write fanfic also helped me appreciate the difference between just narrating actions and actually conveying sensations/feelings/thoughts etc. you know, that whole show, don’t tell thing. im not good at writing yet but i can tell now when i read something that’s better than what i could have attempted. i can even spot nice metaphors and word use in songs. i now am able to point at fragments in dracula that i liked and where i felt i actually was in the place and time being described, or sentences that communicated with me beyond what the words mean on their own.

my relationship with language is different. and i love that. it’s like an entire door just opened to me.

over the summer i read a novel for my german class, one chapter a week. it had the same effect as dracula daily. i turned the main character from a stranger into a blorbo and the whole experience was improved. today i also read The Pit and the Pendulum, by Poe. and it took effort but i understood it. not just that. i got it. i felt it. we supposedly read that story in high school english lit class, but i don’t remember doing it. i don’t remember anything we read. that was the past and something is different now.

and now that i know it’s possible to read and connect with what i’m reading, i know steps i can take to read more things even if it’s not fanfic or something short. that idea alone has filled me with such hope.

when dracula daily is over i’ll be less afraid to go look for a novel to read. and maybe this time i’ll enjoy myself and actually finish it. hopefully.

[thcweasley]

Yours

PAIRING : George Weasley X Y/N

SUMMARY : George getting jealous of his twin brother for being closer to you .

WARNINGS : none? Make out? implying things? hehe

WORDS : 1.7k

A/N: lol this hits too close to home, growing up i was shadowed by heather sister :(  I was going to turn this into smut but im not sure.. cos i never wrote a smut before lol.

“Focus on your work Weasley” Snape smacked George Weasley’s head with the book he was holding, causing the whole class to look at his direction.

George was already an easily distracted person to begin with. but today especially, he got his mind somewhere else.

He was looking at you and his twin brother Fred, giggling while trying to figure out snape’s task. All of his life he never thought that he would feel this much jealously towards the older twin. Sure, sometimes it bothers him a bit that people pay more attention to him, or the fact that people always refers them as “Fred & George”, not “George & Fred”. But he knew it’s a silly thing to be bothered about so he always managed to brush it off.

But not today, Fred had been assigned with you. The girl George met on his last solo trip to honeydukes. It shocked him how he never saw you around before, despite being in the same house and grade. But hes glad that he met you. George didn’t like to be cheesy, but he was so sure that you were made for him. Whenever youre around, he just felt so happy. You’re funny, kind, and on top of all you’re prettiest thing he ever seen. Sadly, for him, other people seems to think that way about you.

He introduced you 2 weeks ago to his brother and friends. You seem to get along great with everyone. He liked that, his brother and friends is everything for him. But he cant help it but feeling a little bit jealous. He didn’t wanna admit it but this jealously is most probably because he was insecure about his feeling for you. Before everything he was sure that you fancy him the same way he fancies you. But now, hes not sure. And he hated it, youre supposed to be his girl.

The class that felt so long was finally over. George quickly stood up, walking towards the common room. he just want to burry his face onto his bed now. He felt an arm linking his. “Hey you” it was you. He let out a big sigh, not knowing how to feel right now.

“Hey, did you have a good time today?” He hated how catty he sounded. Knowing you, he knew you wouldn’t able to tell.

“Yeah it was fun. Your brother is hilarious you know that?” He rolled his eyes, feeling his face getting hot.

“Well yeah hes a clown” George answered shortly. Wanting you both could just drop this conversation. He didn’t like this, being jealous of his twin brother.

“ahah yeah true, youre also funny too you know” You leaned your head onto Georges arm. At this point it was hard for him to not just pulls you into a big hug. “Whats your plan for the rest of the day?” You asked looking up on him.

“Im not sure, probably just sleep” George answered looking down to you. You looked so cute leaning on to him.

“Wanna have a study date? Snape’s test tomorrow right?” George’s ears perked up at the word date.

A smile creeps on his face. “Yeah sure”

“Brilliant! I’ll see you in 2 hours then!” You gave his arm a squeeze before you go. Leaving George all smiley by himself.

2 hours later, George found himself getting ready for his study date. He finally going to make a move on you. Its obvious that you fancy him now right? At least you were the one who refers their study session as a study date.

He tried to look around for Fred but he was nowhere to be found. He feels weird do anything without asking for the older brother’s advice. But it was time to go to meet you at the Library and he didn’t want to make you wait, so he just decided to cross his fingers and hope for the best.

“Hey” George greeted you, big smile on his face. You look up at him from the book you were reading, smiling back at him. “You got a lot of stuff here” He sat down beside you, looking at paper and pens in front of him.

“Oh its not mine” You answered. “So, do you have anything you’re particularly struggling with?”

Whilst you tried your best to explain the things that he was struggling with. George was doing his best to stay focus on what youre saying instead of you. He cant help but admire your face, your cheeks, your lips. He wonders how would it feel like you press his lips against yours.

“Are you listening to me George?” You asked, knowing the answer pretty well.

“Uh yeah, im sorry I got distracted” he blinked.

You brought your hand on to his head, messing with his red hair. “you’ve been a bit distracted these days. didn’t you got smacked on your head earlier today by Snape?” you chuckled a bit running your fingers on the back of his head. “Did it hurt?” You tilted her head closer to him, rubbing the back of his head.

He couldn’t seem to think straight at this point. The fact that youre so close to him right now, he could smell your scent. He took a deep breath trying to be brave and make a move. He put his hand on top of yours, pulling it away from his head. “Y/N..” He started, linking his fingers with yours. “I think I like you”

“Yeah?” You chuckled feeling. your cheeks starting to get warm. “Whats going on George? Why are you suddenly so serious?”

“Well, Im not sure how you feel about me. But I got nothing to lose so here I am. I like you” Surprised by his words, you didn’t say anything. So he thought he could just make a move then. He leaned in closer to you getting you lips closer to each other. Not knowing what to do you just close your eyes. He smiled, taking this as a greenlight to proceed his act. Until all of the sudden-

“Your tea is here!!” Fred walked in, causing them to pull away from each other. “Hey that’s my seat George, do you not see the stuffs on the table?” He said as he sat down filling the gap between You and George.

“Fred what are you doing here?” George asked, clearly  frustrated with the situation.

“That’s not how you greet people, my dear brother” He said handing you the tea he was talking about. “Besides, youre not the only one who got invited to this study group. Right Y/N?” You just nod at him feeling flustered, thinking about what could’ve happened if Fred didn’t just walk in.

The next day, George has been avoiding you since last night. He thought you guys shared the same feeling. But yesterday proved him wrong. He was just another friend to you

Snape’s exam was a group work, being Fred’s partner obviously made you work with him for the exam. You looked so happy, George wishes it was him working with you instead of his twin brother. He hated this so much, it’s ridiculous how jealous he felt towards his twin brother right now.

The exam’s finally over, George saw you coming up to him from the corner of his eyes. “Hey” you greeted him. “Wanna go to Three Broomstick later? I haven’t really seen you all week”

“Who’s coming?” He asked, hoping this time its just the two of you. And everything that he thought about last night wasn’t true.

“Uh everyone. Fred, Lee, Angelina and others im not sure” George snickered. How stupid of him to think that you wanna be alone with him. How stupid of him to think he got a chance with you.

“I think im gonna pass on that” he took a deep breath. “Im tired. Ill see you around” He left you dumb folded, walking away towards his room.

The night comes around. The common room feels empty, his friends had left him for Three Broomstick. George just chilling alone on his bed when he heard someone opened the door.

“George?” You walked towards him, sitting at the end of his bed “Hey, im just.. I just wanna make sure everything is okay”

“Why you here” George answered bitterly. “Arent you suppose to be out with your friends, with my brother?”

“Well yeah but I wanna check up on you. And talk about last night..”

“What do you wanna talk about Y/N?” He took a deep breath. “I already get it, you see me as a friend. If anything, you like Fred more than me. I get it don’t worry. Everyone always picks him over me, im used to it”

“George…” you scotched in closer too him, trying to stop him from rambling all these nonsenses.

“Im not even sure why I thought you like me, he is the better twin. Im just me. I just thought I have a chance with you. Throughout my life, ive always get hands down from my siblings, share with my siblings.” He realised how ridiculous he sounded but it didn’t stop him. “I love how you get along with my friends. But, i just thought, I thought youre my person. Finally someone I can proudly say mine. I thought you feel the same way as I do…” Georges voice was getting quitter when he felt your hand grabbing his. “I like you a lot and I get that you don’t feel the same way. So if youre coming here to explain that i-“

His words were cut off by your lips crashing to his. “You never let me speak Georgie”  You murmured against his lips “I don’t know how you got it all wrong” you kissed his cheek lightly. “I didn’t know you felt that way. George. I like you, im your person. Ive always been“

With a big smile he pulled in for another kiss. He held on to your waist pulling you closer to him, positioning you onto his lap. You threw your and around his neck, deepening the kiss whilst his hands lazily griped your waist.

You can feel something poking between the inner part of your legs. With a slight smile you press your legs more on to him, grinding it against him. Earning a low groan from him.

He held your hips down on him, so both of you can feel more of the friction. His lips travelled to your jaw and to the back of your neck. You could feel his hot breath, sending shivers down your spine as he moved his lips closer to your ears. “Prove it” OKAY SO Let me know if you want a part 2 smut off of this HAHAH.

hehe part 2

this was quite hard to write cos i feel bad for him ahaha. this is loosely based on a true story. but i never got my Y/N :’)

MY OTHER WORKS follow me / send request / talk to me! im lonely (if u send me anonymously maybe click here) my collaborative ford anglia playlist Christmas with the Weasley playlist

[violetnotez]

hello!! how are u today? i hope youre well💖 may i request a baku crushing on a girl who is native eng speaker, but has never heard her speak. however one day the whole class is watching some eng movie n y/n starts dissing the movie in eng bc its so bad n the whole class is sHOCKED BC HER VOICE IS SO FLUENT N SM DEEPER IN ENG. bakubabe is just there like damn thats hot.

Hey babes! I’m doing well thank you, just doing some stuffs for my art blog! I hope youre doing well 💕💕also thank you to @gallickingun for the mangacap, it saved me so much time and I was actually able to color it! 😍

Also: IM ALIVE!!!! I LITERALLY WROTE THIS TODAY AND OMG I MISS WIRITNG! I’ll start on that Dabi x reader fic I mentioned in a little bit, just wanted to post this! Hopefully it’s good lmao

⤷ Genre: Fluff

⤷ Word Count: 2020

⤷ Warnings: cursing its bakubabe

⤷ Synopsis: Bakugo won’t admit it to himself, but he’s conflicted: he knows he has a crush on you, but his dumbass won’t admit it-well, until he hears your sexy American voice.

Song Recs: ⤷If I Cant Have You-Shawn Mendes⤷Thinking About You-Calvin Harris ⤷Rather Be-Clean Bandit

This was so stupid. Completely dumb and a waste of his time.

Bakugo slumped in his seat a little more, a grumble escaping his lips as he tried to focus on the screen in front of him, his broad shoulders crossed in front of him.

He should be sleeping right now, not sitting and watching this dumbass romantic American movie, especially when you were by his side.

There was no reason why his cheeks should feel hotter when you laughed at the movie, or his hands feel clammy with his sweat everytime you shifted your body closer to him.

It was pissing him off, because no matter how much he tried to ignore the pent up emotions in his chest, he had to admit it to himself-he had a goddamn crush.

On you, the goddamn exchange student.

Fucking great.

His lips pouted as he sulked in his seat on the couch, trying his best to glue his eyes to the screen instead of sneaking a glance at your profile.

The TV showed one of the most sickly sweet and horrific scenes he had ever witnessed: the main couple on screen were finally declaring their love to each other, their voices getting louder and more desperate as they tried to one up each other, almost as if battling to see who could last the longest.

“I love you to the moon!”

“I love you to the moon and back!”

“I love you to the moon and all the stars in the sky!”

“And I love you to-“

A laugh erupted next to him, Bakugo swiveling his head over to see you giggling in your seat, your pretty lips parted as those sweet sounds came from your mouth.

“God, this is terrible!” You chuckled, shaking your head as you said it.

Bakugo’s face reddened, his eyes widening from the sounds coming from your mouth.

Your sentence wasn’t in Japanese: it was foreign and new, American sounding.

Bakugo was used to your voice sounding light and airy when you talked in Japanese, like a leaf on a autumn breeze as it floated into his ears and danced in his mind whenever you spoke his native language. Sometimes you would fumble over the words, trying to piece the meanings together as a blush formed on your cheeks and your eyes turned up from embarrassment. He always made fun of you from it, usually telling you to “Spit it out Baka, I don’t got all day”, but really-he absolutely loved it. You sounded so sweet, so innocent and endearing: he just wanted to wrap you in a hug and envelope himself in your sugar sweet voice.

But right now, your voice was somehow the opposite-it was deeper and richer, like warm,auburn honey on a summer evening. It coated his mind in its thick numbness, the only thing he could think of was how deep and sultry, and well, sexy, it sounded coming from your lips.

He squirmed in his seat, hating how much that little change in your tone affected him so much as you continued to giggle at the wreck of a movie in front of you.

Your class turned to look at you, their faces clearly as shocked as Bakugo’s-they had never actually heard your voice when you spoke English, and they weren’t quite used to it.

You looked at your classmates, your face twisted in innocent confusion.

“What? What did I say?” You asked again in that sultry American voice, making Bakugo shift in his seat, his face looking away from you as he covered his mouth with his hand.

Damn you needed to get that voice under control-he felt like you were controlling his emotions when you spoke like that.

“Whoa y/n you know English!” Kamianri propped himself up, his face clearly in awe as he yelled it out the words.

Sero, who was sitting beside him, chuckled at his air headed friend, giving him a judging look.

“Uh, you do realize she’s from America, right?” Sero snickered, Kamianri looking sheepish as he realized his forgetfulness.

“Oops, Sorry!” He yelled out again, earning a laugh from you and the rest of your classmates.

Jealousy bubbled inside Bakugo like a volcanic eruption, the dangerous emotion barely being contained inside him as his fists clenched.

He hated when others made you laugh, especially his freinds, who unfortunately figured out the crush he had on you a few weeks back. Hearing you giggle at his idiot friends made him want to yell out in possession, declaring that they should know that you were his-well would be his- and they should lay off. But you didn’t suspect a thing about his feelings, and he really didn’t feel like looking like a possessive freak in front of you.

He felt your body shift next to his, his heart beating faster as your finger tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, Uh, Bakugo?” You whispered, the sweet tone of your Japanese voice making him shudder pleasantly, as well as long for your deeper American voice.

He grunted in response, his arms still slung across his broad chest.

“Did I talk in my American voice?”

He scoffed, his eyes rolling in his sockets at how adorably oblivious you could be sometimes. He sent you a shit eating smirk, his vermillion eyes dark like wine.

“What do you think?” He stated, but he didn’t say it in his language, no-he said it English.

He watched your face instantly light up, your eyes bright with excitement and awe as you gasped.

“Wait-you know English?!” You yelled out in awe, a smile erupting on your face. That smile seemed to shake his world, his mind eternally thanking that the room was so dark as his cheeks flushed.

“Of course I know English,” he scoffed, “what idiot doesnt.”

You giggled at his comment, your body shifting closer to his.

Damn it, his cheeks were getting hotter-he could feel your shoulder a mere centimeters away from his, your skin radiating a coolness that felt so soothing being near his permanently hot flesh.

You leaned in closer, your eyes watching his face with sweetness. “How long have you been speaking it?” you asked, but in that hot ass American voice-he was about to combust right then and there.

Shit-he would never admit it, but he hadn’t been exactly practicing his second language. He had learned it back in middle school, when it was a required class, and he had passed it with flying colors of course. Over the years though, he began to forget it, and he was pretty rusty now, now only remembering a few phrases (‘What do you think?’ being one of them)

“Ahh-“ he grumbled out, feeling stupid for not even understanding what you had said. He felt those pretty eyes of yours continue to stare at him, making him feel almost guilty for leading you on as you face fell slightly.

“You didn’t understand what I said, did you?” You asked sadly, back to using your airy Japanese voice. He hated seeing you look so disappointed, as if he let you down in some way.

“Of course I do, dumbass, I just-“

“It’s been awhile since you spoken it?”

He grunted in reply, your mind already translating that to a “Yes.”

Your face somehow light up again, your body even closer to his as you shimmied yourself near him.

“Then I’ll reteach you it!”

“Huh?” He looked at you, his eyes slanted as you peered at you with an almost judging look. What the hell were you playing at?

You nodded again, your lips letting out a slight hum.

“Yeah, I’ll teach you a phrase in English! To be honest, I miss having someone to talk to in my language…” you chuckled at your revelation, your eyes coated in embarrassment.

Well shit-if you needed someone to talk to in English, he was going to be the one to do it. With his damn luck Icy Hot and damn Deku would jump in and be your little English buddy. His skin crawled at the idea of you getting all cozy with one of those two bastards, his insides light up like a fire.

“Fine,” he huffed out, pretending like he was giving in, “but I’m not sitting through a whole damn lesson.”

You chuckled slightly, brushing a piece of hair behind your ears.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start off easy,” you smiled up at him, looking up slightly as if in thought.

“We’ll start with a something easy,” you instructed.

“I’ll teach you-“your sweet Japanese voice suddenly turned rich like syrup as it switched to American. ‘Hi my name is Bakugo”,

“Easy enough?” You asked, switching back to Japanese.

“Fucking elementary,” he scoffed, “yeah I can do it.”

“Cool!” You exclaimed quietly, still mindful of your classmates watching the crappy movie. You shimmied again, your face squarely staring at his as you waited for him to start speaking, your eyes expecting and wide with anticipation.

Shit he was supposed to be paying attention?

Bakugo cursed himself in his mind, as he was too preoccupied listening to your hot as hell American accent.

Damn, he was going to have a hard time talking to you in English, especially if you said his name like that. He hadn't realized how mezmorized he was by the way you spoke his name, your voice low and sultry as if you were telling him a secret, something he was only able to hear. His spine tingled and his hands clammed up again, making his mouth feel dry.

Shit, you’d be the end of him.

He opened his mouth, feeling uncharacteristically nervous as he tried to speak the words you had spoken. He could barely remember how you had said them though, the syllables coming out his mouth feeling cracked and awkward.

“H-hi my n-ame is...shit!” He cursed at himself, hating the way the words felt in his mouth. He couldn't say them right, knowing full well he looked like an idiot as his cheeks began to redden.

He heard you giggle next to him, the voice sounding sweet and kind against his ear.

“It okay,” you reassured him, “your just opening your mouth a little too wide...here-“

Before he could register what was even going on, your hand had wrapped delicately around his jaw, the floral scent of your perfume swarming his mind and making him unable to think straight. Your digits were pressing against his hot cheeks, forcing his lips to pout out slightly.

Damn, if he thought he was blushing, it was nothing compared to this-it felt like his cheeks were on fire.

You laughed at his clearly shocked face, his vermillion eyes wide and filled with confusion.

“Don’t worry, Bakugo, I’m just helping you,” you reassured him, your voice feathery as you whispered close to his ear.

Why the hell did that sound so hot?

You sent him another smile, speaking again in Japanese and then back to English, “Just say- ‘Hi my name is Bakugo’,”

he continued to star at you, actually beginning to like the feel your digits pressed against his mouth.

He swallowed, trying to coat his dry mouth with saliva.

“Hi-my name-is-Bakugo,” he stuttered out.

He wouldn’t ever say it out loud, but he had to admit it-his English voice did sound much better with your fingers pressed against his cheeks like that.

You clearly noticed it as well, your face triumphant and proud. “There ya go, that sounded so much better!” You congratulated him, your fingers retracting from his skin.

He already missed the feeling of your cold skin against his hot flesh, his cheeks feeling empty without your digits pressing against them.

He sucked the flesh of his cheeks into his mouth, moving his jaw.

“Shitty woman-need to give me a warning-“ he scolded you, his hands feeling clammy with the sudden change in events.

You rolled your eyes, lying yourself against the couch cushions and returning your gaze to the TV.

“Well, your going to have to get used to it if I’m going to teach you more-“

“Teach me more?!?” He practically yelled out, gaining a few confusing looks from his classmates.

“Of course!” you smiled as if it was obvious, “need to make sure your fluent enough for a conversation dumbie!”

“It’s also fun seeing you blush like that Bakugo,” you playfully nudged his ribcage, sending him a wink as you turned your gaze to the movie, unaware of how flustered you just made him.

Well shit-he thought numbly, a small grin playing against his mouth-you were something else.

Taggings:

@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​

[borathae]

No no no no no no nonononono no Sibi please don’t, not this again please tell me that he will come back, there is only one chapter left and He can’t be gone for real please I’m hurting so much everything was kind of okay, he will come back right? Will they find him in the next chapter? No, wait sorry SORRY don’t answer that, of course spoilers, I’m seriously in so much pain for Min Yoongi right now he deserves all the love from her, from all three of them, YOONGI IM HERE ONCE AGAIN SCREAMING AT YOU TO COME BACK YOU LITTLE IDIOT OF A VAMPIRE DONT DO THIS AGAIN WE WENT THROUGH THIS ALREADY YOONGI DONT FUCKING RUN AWAY AGAIN COMEBACK!!!!

Oofff Ok ok… hi Sibi!!! how are you today? 💜 I just read the two latest chapters as you can tell jsksjsjsjsjjs

First of all I have to say once again that I missed our baby Taetae so much 😭😭😭he’s so charming and cute and I just love him so much baby has gone through so much but he’s finally back with the love of his life and he’s so happy and overwhelmed by her love GOD SENT ME A MAN LIKE HIM PLEASE IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES, the intimacy between them is heavenly Sibi for real, the way you portray the love these to characters have for each other is magnificent you can feel the pure love and adoration and the tenderness through the words is just so wonderful.

And the smut 😭😭😭 it was so hot but more than anything it was so romantic and cute 😭😭😭😭 shy baby Tae and he called her empress??????? I MELTED RIGHT THERE

Don’t get me started on the blood drinking as a promise of love, my sweet man just making sweet love to her while drinking her blood and professing his undying love for her I’m just- I can’t Sibi I love them so much (how did I get so invested in this wonderful story hsksjsjjsjsksjsjskak)

And the the walk in the snow 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so romantic 🥺🥺🥺 but my heart broke completely when he started talking about Jimin, his death still hurts me, and I too think he could’ve redeemed himself if it weren’t for Namjoon 😔 but the way Tae is grieving him, his best friend… it’s so sad and painful I’m so happy that at least he has oc with him again so he doesn’t have to carry all that pain by himself and can be comforted all he needs until he heals as much as possible for that painful loss 🥺

And I swear Sibi that when a distressed Kook appeared I started panicking because YOONGI NOT.THIS.AGAIN AND HE KILLED ALL THE VAMPIRES IN THE CELLAR???!!!!! DAMN NO HE CANT BE GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN

I think is so sweet that Tae tells oc that he can help Kook with his training, right away no doubt or resentment 🥺 I just know that once everything is resolved and they can start enjoying their lives together without danger looming over them the relationship between all four of them is gonna to be so beautiful 🥺 and yes I’m trying to focus on nice things to not think about Yoongi’s letter and how terribly sad and painful it is to read about him writing a goodbye letter to his princess, pouring all his feelings for her on the paper while crying and feeling like absolute shit with himself while doing it, nope I’m not gonna think about that and specially not thinking about him signing his letter with Yoongi Boongi, nope I’m out OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Yoongi Boongi go back to your princess and your Koo right now stop it 😭😭😭😭

Thank you for these wonderful chapters Sibi, as always your writing is magnificent and I’m so sorry if I’m annoying you with my asks I just feel like a broken record with every single one that i sent every week 😭 but I just have to tell you how much I love your writing and this wonderful story 🥺 I really hope you have a wonderful day/night and that your thesis is going well, love u! Take care! 💜💜💜

Ps: I’m still not over Tae’s insta video, I’m down awfully bad for him jakajsjksjsjsksjsk

-Shy anon

I missed Tete so much too :( their love is so sweet and honest and it hurts me so much because they are so freaking cute together :(( HONESTLY THE SMUT HAUNTS ME IT WAS SO HOT YET EMOTIONAL I AM GOING INSANE AGDJ

I think is so sweet that Tae tells oc that he can help Kook with his training, right away no doubt or resentment 🥺

yess!! omfg I agree so much 😔 also it just show how genuinely good hearted Tae is, like koo hurt him but instead of resenting him he offers his help. I am so in love with Tae 😔

Yoongi’s letter and how terribly sad and painful it is to read about him writing a goodbye letter to his princess, pouring all his feelings for her on the paper while crying and feeling like absolute shit with himself while doing it, nope I’m not gonna think about that and specially not thinking about him signing his letter with Yoongi Boongi, nope I’m out OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭

Also please never apologize, spam me with as many messages you want to!! I genuinely love talking to you my sweets!! 🥺💜💜

ALSO YOUR PS IS A MOOD I REWATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES TODAY AND I AM IN LOVE 🥴🥴