#not possible sorry

[twistedappletree]

there’s no way someone looks at a newborn baby and consciously decides to name them bruce, i refuse to believe this

[yooniesim]

tbh while I as a black simmer can appreciate you calling Mack out for the racist she is, it does feel like you’re doing it to keep the heat off of yourself by association? Reading your dm interactions, you gave her a lot of grace about her voting choice. you comforted her, actually. it wasn’t until another Simblr became public about Texas’ harassment that you started to turn the heat up on Mack. i remember seeing an anon ask, asking you why you hadn’t denounced her. you went on a spiel about voting choice and giving people chances to changed…this was less than two years ago. so why should the community trust you knowing that you were privately comforting a racist and only publicly condemned them when people sought your take? trust me I despise Sunny as much as anyone since she bullied me and my black summer friends out of dollhouse when she was running it. her own mods kicked her out because of this. but I also don’t believe in free passes for people trying to save face ie. YOU.

Anon, I definitely understand your perspective and why you feel that way. I've been transparent since the start about how I feel about Mack, I've never followed or publicly supported her. But I have said multiple times that I try to give people chances to change because I'm surrounded by people that have made similar choices and I, personally, would be miserable if I didn't have hope people could change. I grew up with half of my family openly calling me the N-word and not only being openly racist but homophobic towards me and others (I am mixed and the white part of my family tried to keep me away from my disabled black father and family when I was younger, for context). I've been a subject of this type of abuse since I was young. Some of these same people have changed and regretted their past actions, and some have not. In my workplace, many of my coworkers and patients have similar views. I would like to cut all of this out of my life, but I can't. I don't have the means financially or mentally to do that. And so I cope by trying to believe that they can change. If I didn't, I don't know how I would be able to manage. It's for the sake of my own mental health. In this online space, however, there is the option to cut people out, and while I lead with giving people a chance... if they show there's no actual change, then I have no choice but to accept that and take that opportunity off the table. As we see with Mack.

As far as taking the heat off of myself or trying to save face- no one would have even known how I talked to her had I not said it previously (in posts before this one) or linked the DMs myself. I really have nothing to hide, I've always been open about that perspective. I sympathized with her in my initial short DM conversation with her (out of a total of two) and shared my own trauma of being attacked by Trump's cult of personality. Being in that environment when you're surrounded by them and their abuse is terrifying. I personally experienced family members constantly threatening me to vote for Trump (and I mean threatening my housing, access to medications, standing at school and work, destroying or stealing my possessions, etc), mocking me daily for being "a stupid liberal" (and far worse insults), and even trying to steal and manipulate my mail-in ballot. It is extremely easy to be trapped, intimidated, and manipulated by those people. When Mack shared her story, I wanted to believe that she'd been subject to this and that she either didn't really have those views to start with or had changed. That was projection and naivity on my part. Admittedly, it also didn't register with me during that initial DM convo that she had voted for him twice, she didn't mention it specifically in that conversation and it was before I had gotten a chance to see all receipts in detail (she DM'd me immediately once I asked publicly for proof of her racism and we had that convo). If you check the DMs, I even mentioned to her in that same convo how my family members had voted for him twice even after seeing what he'd done after the first time and how terrible and hurtful that was for me, and that I was glad people like her had changed their opinions after voting once and seeing what he'd done after instead. Why would I say that if I knew she'd done the same thing as them? She, of course, didn't correct me and say she'd voted twice, but why would she? So at the time of the convo, that was how I was seeing it. But as we can see, I was very wrong.

Past that point, the more that I uncovered about Mack (the harassment, voting twice, and perspectives from her friends and other simmers in my inbox), the more I saw it was only the tip of the iceberg. I kept taking note of so I could make another post publicly. I answered an anon saying that this was the case, which I believe is the one you saw. That ask was after the short DM conversation in which I initially sympathized with her. Keep in mind this was all taking place in under 3 weeks time (including the paywall-gate explosion and my own personal life). And yet within those 3 or so weeks, so much evidence was adding up, along with many asks i was saving in my inbox to put in the post- meanwhile I wasn't interacting with Mack other than our 2nd DM convo in which I told her to stop the harassment of Dreamie and others. I gave Mack her last opportunity to show that she had good intentions in this community and towards those in it by denouncing her former views and the actions of Texas. She didn't take advantage of this. I knew that the Texas situation was going to be a huge hurdle and drain on my mental health (and her harassment of others was on-going without any sign of stopping), so I tackled that first. I was still compiling everything else, and the last post on my page with her past actions and all the links are evidence of that. Keep in mind: just because you didn't see what I was writing or taking note of, doesn't mean that I wasn't. Just because I didn't make a huge call-out post right then didn't mean I approved of her, followed her, interacted with her, or was her friend. As as much as I like to speak my mind here, doing all this does take time and mental energy.

All this aside, it's only an explanation, not an excuse. If you don't feel comfortable with how I've handled the situation, I completely understand. I've told people, including Mack, many times- that she's not entitled to a second chance or to forgiveness, and to expect she won't receive it from everyone. I want to emphasize that while I personally may give someone a chance, doesn't mean that they necessarily deserve a chance. Especially not from anyone else that they've hurt. It's not the job of black simmers like us (or anyone else marginalized) to keep forgiving and giving opportunities. It's not a human right, and it's not any morally better than not giving a second chance. The perspective of not allowing second chances is 100% valid. And if me doing so makes anyone lose trust in me, I understand that completely. As much as I try my best to be logical and hard, sometimes I'm soft-hearted and sometimes I'm naive, and I'm biased due to my own trauma and experiences. As we all are. No one needs to take my word as truth or trustworthy if they don't feel comfortable doing so. I'm not a paragon of justice and truth any more than Mack is- I'm simply sharing my own opinions and perspectives.

(I know this is long, but I hope it addresses everything nonny, and doesn't have mistakes, I wrote it on my lunch break lol)

[girlfictions]

palestine is in a complete and utter blackout with israel launching hundreds of its heaviest airstrikes so far across gaza. this is a mass slaughter and we won't even know the extent of the casualties until it's over; israel have cut off telecommunications so they can commit their atrocities in the dark. there is a genocide happening right in front of our eyes and every person who has ever defended israel's "right to defend itself" has the blood of palestinians on their hands. we cannot ignore what is one of the most devastating massacres in human history.

[greyias]

Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)

Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker

You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!

The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.

[pickled-flowers]

Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

[syrren]

“The artist becomes the canvas!” - TMAGP 002: Making Adjustments

[enderscribbles]

Dunmeshi request, Chilchuck and Marcille interacting? 🥺 Or standing next to each other that works too. Could be hugging, or sharing a meal/food, or…

Got a bit out of hand with the prompt XD I ended up doing a scene inspired by this fic! Based on that time Marcille Izutsumi and Chilchuck were sharing a bed in chapter 47. It felt very memorable so I tried to recreate it but I kind of went offscript because I was basing it on my recollection of the fic lmao

^Obsessed with this guy and how he lets Izutsumi use him like a hot water bottle bc it's comfier.

I think he'd hardly ever act this soft + tolerant of physical affection unless it's situations like this: When the others are too sleepy to remember it LOL

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[noctude]

i love it when people have a secret joke that’s just ready to go. unlockable through specific dialogue tree choices

yesterday someone in choir had a stuffed cow with a little heart locket on it. when i said it was cute & i liked the bling she handed it to me and said “why don’t you open . the locket :-)” and after struggling for like a minute trying to pry it apart, inside was just the smallest most compressed image of the ao3 logo i have ever seen

[amaranthsynthesis]

First morning wake up after the nautiloid crash and there are still many questions to be answered. Not by Ballard, though! He doesn't know shit or remember fuck all! My man has the lowest possible intelligence stat without incurring a negative, and also there's holes in his brain.

Had the thought a ways back about the notes you find from Kressa in the Illithid Colony re: the dark urge strangling her with his own intestines. I'm not sure how he was healed from her experiments, if they scarred or how long the marks might last, but my policy is not to turn down shit about durge that's funny/deeply upsetting so here we are. This is the first time I've drawn Gale I think and I love him.

Also:

[logically-asexual]

nathalie as that mom helping her kids with a difficult super mario level

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

(part 43)

[joshotime]

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

bad day need hug