#not proof read because editing tags is a pain lol

[bella-rose29]

Darling

Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader

Woke up in a lot of pain because my body systems hate me, so I wrote this (I'm doing better now)

Word count: 1.4k (wtf i didn't mean to write this much lol)

Warnings: periods, anything period related, swearing, this is also based purely on my own experiences (although not the bit where he's hugging her 🥲), not proof read/edited

Tag list: @bubybubsters, @el-de-phi, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @iambored24601, @itsyoboo-jassy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @little8sun, @mvidaaaa, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @notoakay, @simbaaas-stuff, @pietromaximoffsbabe (i'm so sorry lovely i completely forgot to add you earlier)

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck, fuck!"

"You alright, darling?"

"Yep, all good, Nik!"

Y/n was not at all good. She'd woken up next to an empty space that morning, smiling and shaking her head when she realised where her husband was, sat at his desk and already working, and then had felt an excruciating burst of pain in her abdomen. She heard Nikolai stand up, his chair thumping against the carpeted floor as he came over to the bed.

"Yeah, you're very clearly not alright, darling," he said as he took in her pained expression. "What's going on? Do you need me to get the healer?"

"Monthly cycle, and yes please," she gasped out.

"Okay. Are you able to move?" Y/n shook her head, blinking back the tears that were forming in her eyes. "Alright darling. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? Just gonna get the healer." He planted a kiss on her forehead, then practically sprinted out of the room. Y/n would have laughed if she thought it wouldn't hurt.

Nikolai really was only gone a few minutes, returning on his own but laden with heat packs. Y/n felt tears form for a different reason as he knelt down next to the bed to activate the heat packs, placing them on her lower stomach, adjusting them so that they all fit. The healer appeared with an assistant then, bag in hand as she sent Y/n an apologetic look.

"How are you doing, Your Majesty?"

"Not great," she whispered, eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to force the pain away. It was times like these that Y/n wished she were Grisha; if she were a Healer or a Tidemaker then maybe she could heal the pain away or force her body to comply through the water in her brain. The healer and Nikolai were talking, although Y/n couldn't make out what was being said, but then a minute or so later her husband was out the room and the healer was placing her hands over Y/n's abdomen, attempting to ease the Queen's pain. The assistant had brought a change of underclothes, helping Y/n to swap them.

"The King has just gone to arrange some things so that your day is easier for you, Your Majesty, he'll be back in a bit. I'll stay here for as long as you need, and in a moment I'll ask you to take the tonic on your bedside table, alright?" Her voice was calm and soothing, and Y/n felt ready to drift off.

"What's the tonic for?"

"It should alleviate some of the pain. We've only recently developed it, but it's had an incredibly high success rate."

"Oh, okay." She was feeling better now, the work the healer was doing helping hugely, and the heat packs distracted from what pain was left over.

"Are you able to sit, Your Majesty?"

"I think so, hang on." Wincing at the stab of pain when she moved, Y/n gritted her teeth, and with the help of the healer was able to sit up in bed. Nikolai returned then, now carrying a box of some description, and his face lit up at the sight of his wife looking better.

"I've got chocolate," he said, lifting the box. "And I managed to convince the head cook to surrender a couple of those breakfast pastries you love so much. Don't feel you need to eat anything now, darling, just let me know and I'll get it for you." She laughed lightly, flinching when it made the pain increase, and took the hand he offered when he sat down next to her. He managed to manoeuvre them so that he was sat behind her, a leg on either side. He pressed kisses to her hair every now and then, arms stroking up and down her arms, sometimes drifting down to gently stroke her stomach.

"Do you think you're able to take the tonic now, Your Majesty?"

"Yeah, I think so."

It tasted bitter going down, and nothing seemed to happen, but the healer reassured her that it would kick in within about 20 minutes.

"I just need to go and sort a few things out, Your Majesty, but I'll come back every so often to check up on how you're doing and bring you more tonics, alright?"

"Thank you," Nikolai said, grateful smile appearing on his face. The healer and her assistant bowed, exiting the room. The couple sat in silence for a while, Y/n basking in the warmth of the packs and her husband's body behind her, and the soft touches of his hands on her arms. Her heart ached with how gentle and loving he was being, and the tears came back. Hearing her quiet sniffles, Nikolai panicked, thinking it had gotten worse.

"What's wrong, darling? Does it still hurt?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "Well, yes, but not as much. It's not that though. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed by you, Nik."

Although she couldn't see it, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Me? Why?"

"I've never been looked after like this before. It's nice. And I guess because we were arranged I thought you wouldn't care that much, but you do, and my body is all out of whack right now which isn't helping but it's making me want to cry because I love you."

Nikolai was silent for a while, never stopping stroking her arms, but Y/n started to worry. She was just about to speak up when he finally spoke.

"I love you too, Y/n."

Then she really did start crying, tears slipping down her face and wetting the bedsheets. Nikolai turned her face towards his, softly wiping away what he could and leaning in to press his lips to hers. It was brief, but more full of love than any other they'd shared, and Y/n couldn't believe how lucky she'd been in getting him as her husband.

"Wait," she said, pulling away with a frown. "What about your meetings?"

"Cancelled them," Nikolai shrugged. "You're more important to me, darling."

"Won't Zoya be mad? That you're leaving things to her?"

"She was actually weirdly understanding for Zoya. I'm fully convinced I'm going to be sent some very strongly worded letters involving death threats, though. Or made to plant face first into the lake by a strong wind."

Y/n giggled, picturing the scenario, and made a mental note to ask Zoya to do just that. Preferably when Nikolai was in just his slacks, suspenders and undershirt, and not for any particular reason.

"You'll be fine, Kolya."

~~~

Later that day, Y/n was feeling much better, having taken another dose of the tonic, and was sat outside by the lake with Zoya. Nikolai had rescued a frog (although the frog looked rather happy where it was) and was placing it on the bank. All of a sudden, the wind picked up, and Nikolai was pushed in the water, arms windmilling as he fell. It was a warm day, so he'd taken off his jacket, and while Y/n did feel a little bad for asking Zoya to push him in, all regrets were washed away when he emerged from the lake, completely soaked with water from head to toe.

He stalked over, trying not to smile at how loudly his wife was laughing, and pointed an accusatory finger at the Grisha General.

"I know that was you, Zoya. How could you, to your King, of all people!"

"I was just doing what my Queen commanded, Your Majesty," she mock bowed from where she sat, smirk on her face as she watched Nikolai wipe the water from his eyes. Y/n was still cackling next to her, and Zoya was glad to see her friend doing better than this morning.

"Darling Y/n?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like a hug?" Her eyes widened, almost comically so, as Nikolai leaned in, arms open wide. She shrieked with joy as he got closer, pushing him away (not really, he was far too strong).

"Nik!" she laughed, all thoughts of pain completely forgotten.

He did eventually get his hug, but only when he was clean and dry (Y/n had found bits of grass and water plants in his hair), and not threatening to cover Y/n in lake water.

"Thank you, Nik, for everything today."

"Of course, darling. I love you."

"Love you too," she hummed, drifting off in her husband's arms.

[lightvixxen]

since EVERYONE is horny tonight...i leave my offering, also I wrote this in one sitting so not proof read/edited and i'm practically falling asleep lol

CW:SMUT 18+ minors shoo, Knife play, blood kink/play, branding kink? is that what its called? or things being carved into skin (consenually ofc), pain kink, oral (f receiving)

WC: 1672, it was supposed to be a blurb but i got carried away.

tagging: @omenhell

You had a weird fascination with sharp things, specifically knives, more specifically the switch blades that Eddie collected. He knew this before getting into a relationship with you of course, but he couldn't get over that far away look you got holding a specific blade.

It was sharp, and pretty in your opinion, the prettiest in Eddie's collection. You laid in Eddie's bed, with him not too far away at his desk. He was writing something up for the newest campaign idea he had. You held the knife absentmindedly up, far enough away from your face you wouldn't accidentally blind yourself if you dropped it, but still close enough to get a good look at it.

The blade was all black with a metallic looking design at the hilt, it was beautiful and if you caught it in the light juuust right certain parts shone. You had gotten into the habit with the knives to repeatedly open and close them, and that was exactly what you were doing now, closing the blade then flicking it back open.

Eddie looked over his shoulder to where you were laying, Your legs were bent at the knees, feet planted firmly on the bed and had one hand splayed against your stomach, head turned looking at the knife currently being held up by your other. You had that look in your eyes again, the look of you wanted to do something with it but he couldn't tell what.

Finally feeling his stare you looked over to where he sat with an eyebrow raised.

"what?"

"What? What? Can't admire my girlfriend's beauty without being questioned?"

"No, you look like you wanna ask me something."

"Well, you're not entirely wrong." Eddie stands, walking towards the bed, you spread your legs allowing him to settle there. He sits on his knees pulling you to be against his thighs, the soft material of his sleep pants brushing against the back of your thighs.

"What do you think about whenever you have my blades, specifically" Eddie plucks the knife from your grasp, flicking the blade out once again and holding it up, "This one, cause you always have this far off look whenever you have it"

Your eyes widen, because how the fuck are you supposed to answer that?!?!? How do you look someone in the eyes and tell them that the thing you think about when your hand is shoved down your pants is imagining them carving their initials into your thigh? Let alone your boyfriend who you're pretty sure isn't into it...well, not that you've asked.

"I'm waiting, sweetheart" you take a deep breath in, deciding to take a leap of faith into your kinks and hope it doesn't fuck up your relationship.

"Ithinkaboutyoucarvingyourinitalsintomythigh." The words came out fast and slurred together, your face burned red, hoping he understood it.

"what?"

"I...I think about you carving your initials into my thigh...with your knife"

Eddie slow blinks at you and you feel the panic quickly rise up until...

"Is that something you really want, sweetheart? for me to claim you?" You felt your body heat up at his words, panties slowly becoming damp.

"Are you serious?"

"Oh completely, been thinking about that for a whileee," Eddie starts ghosting the blade down the outer part of your thigh, sending desperate shivers down your spine. "The question is, are you gonna let me?"

You nod quickly "Yes, god yes, please." Eddie chuckles darkly, gripping onto your thigh tightly.

"Alright, you wanna do this now? Cause I have all the things we need for after care in the bathroom, just been waiting on you" You nod again

"Fuck yes"

"Kay, put this leg down" Eddie taps your right leg lightly, already knowing where he wanted his initials on it, right on the side where its barely visible unless you look, you lower your leg almost immediately.

You feel the cool metal glide against your skin as Eddie draws patterns in your skin, not pressing hard enough for it to actually leave a mark, just enough for you to feel it.

The first line of the E makes you jump and whimper quietly , Eddie's hand that wasn't holding the knife holds your leg down.

"Stay still, I don't want to have a trip to the ER because I accidentally cut too deep, just want it deep enough that it leaves a scar."

"Sorry, surprised me s'all"

As Eddie continued to carve out his initials you could feel yourself growing wetter with each passing second, you were sure your panties were absolutely soaked, you wouldn't be surprised if it seeped onto the bed as well.

Focusing on what Eddie was doing, he was halfway done with the M of his name, you watched as your blood slowly rolled down and off your leg onto his sheets. Reminding you that you two had forgotten to put a towel down to prevent staining his bed - well staining it more.

"Shit- Eddie we forgot to-"

"Don't care, besides, this bed has seen worse, what's a little blood?" He smiles at you, before finishing up the letter. It was surprisingly neat, neater than what you'd expect from a knife.

Eddie leaned down examining his handy work, what you don't expect him to do is lick up stray blood droplets before they hit the bed and back down to the open wound. A gasp escapes you at feeling his tongue against your skin, the act turning you on more than it probably should.

He stays there for a while, just lapping up the blood until the bleeding slows enough to where it's not dripping down your thigh.

"Fucking vampire" you mumble as he comes back up to a normal sitting position.

"Oh you love it, I couldn't help myself sweetheart." Once Eddie was finally out from between your thighs you press them together trying to get any kind of friction, a little ashamed to admit just how fucking turned on you were, of course, Eddie noticed.

"Ooooh does my sweetheart have a pain kink?" You try to shake your head, but his fingers catch your chin forcing you to nod.

"Don't even try to lie to me, I bet your fucking soaked right now. Actually, why don't we look? since you can't be trusted to tell the truth." Eddie forced your thighs apart and moved so he was laying on his stomach, head in between your thighs, face to face with your clothed cunt. And you silently thanked whatever deity you decided to only go with one of Eddie's old T-shirts and a pair of panties.

"Oh look at that baby, you are soaked, haven't even touched you" he ran a ringed finger up your clothed slit, his finger connecting with your clit causing you to squirm.

"Eddieee" You whined at his teasing, silently begging for him to have mercy on you. Eddie's fingers hooked around the waist band of your panties, tugging them down. You lifted your hips enough so he could get them off of you. Once they were off Eddie threw your panties in a random direction in the room before turning his attention back to your bare pussy.

You were totally and completely soaked, you could feel it leaking, slowly dripping down your butt. Eddie smirked running a finger through your folds, collecting the slick and bringing it up to your clit. You moaned softly once he made contact, rubbing small and light circles into your clit.

"Look at her baby, she's just begging for attention." Eddie wasn't really talking to you, his words really only meant for himself, nonetheless it still embarrassed you. But before you could say anything Eddie was diving in, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit.

"Oh fuck! Eddie!" You moaned, head falling back onto his pillows and a hand finding purchase in his hair. Eddie moaned at your taste, Licking up to your clit before loudly taking it in between his lips and sucking on it.

Eddie's mouth was like fucking magic, between his tongue and moaning you were steadily hurtling towards your orgasm. Your back arched when his tongue entered your hole, fucking it in and out of you at a steady pace. You tugged at his hair causing him to moan again.

"Fuck, you taste like heaven, sweetheart" His mouth moved back to your clit, lapping at it like a man starved, to make matters worse he added two fingers, easily slipping inside of you to target that sweet spot inside of you.

"Eddie! fuck m'close!" Your orgasm was coming embarrassingly fast, you couldn't tell if it was because of the lingering pain from the cuts, Eddie lapping at your cunt like it was his last meal on earth, or the fact his fingers were steadily pumping in and out of you, or all of the above

"Yeah? Gonna cum on my tongue? c'mon sweetheart, go ahead, come on my tongue" Eddie's fingers hooked inside you perfectly to make you see stars, you come with a loud cry, back arching off the bed. But he doesn't stop he buried his face deeper into your cunt if that was even physically possible, licking up your release.

Eventually you have to push his head away from your aching cunt, the pleasure becoming too much.

"Eds stop, s'too much" Eddie looks up at you from between your thighs and he looks like heaven, face glistening with your wetness, hair a wild mess from where you were tugging.

You drag Eddie up to you, capturing his lips in a hot and desperate kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue.

"That...Was fucking hot, why didn't we do this sooner." you ask no one in particular, Eddie laughs and shrugs

"Dunno, maybe because someone was too scared to admit they were into it." You playfully shove his shoulder laughing and telling him to shut up.

"Now that your taken care of, its your turn...get on the floor and on your knees, sweetheart."

You could already tell it was going to be a long night.

[noneedtofearorhope]

i’d love to see the tables turned and all these anons and shit try and justify the mass death, misery, suffering, exploitation, and slavery that NECESSARILY comes with the state.

like, if we assume for sake of argument that the state is necessary for insulin production (which to be clear, i don’t think any of us agree with, we all believe that life would find a way), the state is unnatural, it’s human made, and thus needs to be justified. unless there has been recent research that finally gives conclusive evidence that diabetes is human caused, it’s just a fucking shit fact of life. diabetes doesn’t have to justify itself, and no one, anarchist or otherwise, has to make a justification for its existence.

i shouldn’t have to stress this so much, but fash jacketing just seems all too common here lately, but again, we don’t believe the state is necessary for insulin production. but if divine powers came down and showed us that it was, it still wouldn’t be justified to cause the death and suffering of others thru the state just to extend the lives of diabetics. in this case, we would do everything we can to alleviate the suffering of those who are dying. the focus would be on quality of life and end of life care. just like it is for any number of diseases that have no cure even under the boot of state and capital. just like it is for the elderly, as again, fact of life is that we all die eventually.

[the-winter-spider]

Element Part 3

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Warnings: talk of possible suicide, depression, angst

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This parts shorter than i would like but i wanted to get it up, i already started part 4 before i finished this one. Once again i didnt proof read, or edit i will do that eventually lol

I also do a lot of perspective jumps, its just the way i like to write, sorry

Part one Part two

—

It was coming up 3 weeks since the incident and you still had not woken up yet, it was worrisome because of how long your heart was stopped for but there was brain activity and Bruce kept assuring everyone this was a good sign and you would wake up soon, when your body was ready of course. Bucky felt like a shell of who he was or could have been with you if he had done things differently, god he wished he had done things differently. You were the first and only person besides Steve that made him not only feel at home but helped him find a way to be at peace with his past and the things he had done and yet he let you slip right through his finger tips. If he tried harder and didn't just give up and wallow in his own heartache when you were pulling away from him, and tried to get through to you, to let you know you weren’t alone and he was still there for you, instead of laying in that bathtub cold and alone you could have been laying in his arms safe and warm.

One of Bucky's favourite things about you was you didn't mind silence, you weren't scared of it, some people couldn’t stand the silence that trudged behind him, it made them feel uncomfortable, at least that's what Sam told him when he was explaining to Bucky why some of the agents left when he entered the room it wasn't because of who he used to be and what he had done in the past it was because the silence followed him and it was deafening but you didn't leave when he entered a room you gravitated towards him.

-

You and Bucky were laying out on a blanket just under the plum tree, it was your spot. Ever since you gifted it to him you spent a lot of your free time underneath it with him, you both enjoyed being outside especially after years and years of being kept locked away, you took advantage of it, and Bucky didn’t care where you spent time together as long as you were there he was always down. It was dark outside, the stars were shining so bright, the night sky was so clear.

You were laying side by side, Bucky's left arm resting under his head, his right arm laying by his side, resting on top of yours, his thumb lightly rubbing circles on your hand, it was silent both of you just enjoying each other's presence.

“y’know when hydra first kidnapped me, after all those years inside, being tested and experimented on I never thought I'd ever see the sky again” You spoke freely, knowing Bucky was the only person who could relate to you.

“They never let you leave?”

You rolled over laying on your side, using your arm to prop your head up, Bucky moved, copying your position. “No, not till they were sure they succeeded in this” you lifted up your hand growing vines between your fingers. “Its weird to think we were there at the same time at some point”

Bucky sat up “I don't know why I never realised that before” he spoke looking stunned.

Pushing yourself up, this time you copied how Bucky was sitting, you laughed “Don't worry, me either not till Tony brought it up” you reached out grabbing his hand, lacing your fingers “I just wish, that they knew you were there to, its not fair that you had to go through all that, when they were right there, if I would have known, I -“ You didn't even realise you were starting to tear up till Bucky cut you off, you felt both his hands, cold and warm on either side of your face.

“woah hey, hey, y/n look at me”

Your eyes met his blue ones “Im sorry, i, i got carried away there” you laughed “Full moon” you gestured to the night sky.

He gave you a small smile “Everything happens for a reason”

You placed your hand on top of his metal one that was resting on your cheek still “You cannot use my own saying to try and consol me” you giggled

“I can't? i didn't know that was a rule”

“Well it is now”

Before you knew it you were an inch apart, you could feel his warm breath on your face, your eyes met his and his ocean blue eyes were looking between yours and your lips, you felt his lips lightly touch yours, barely a graze before someone's voice broke you both out of this trance you were in.

“We have a mission, Tony needs both of you on it, Suit up”” Steve's voice came booming from just beside the plum tree.

You shot up “Yes Cap” you walked past Steve, not bothering to look at either of the men, it was dark but you're sure your cheeks were glowing such a bright red that they could see it.

Bucky watched you walk away, he grunted before getting up, making his way to Steve who had this stupid grin on his face, shoving him as he walked by “You’re a punk”

Steve tossed his head back with laughter before throwing his arm over his best friend’s shoulder “Jerk”

—

He almost never left your room, Steve had to force Bucky to eat, sleep and shower, he would make jokes about how bad he stunk and that should have woke you up, normally Bucky would laugh at a joke like that but this was you and this wasn’t a normal circumstance. Steve finally made Bucky go shower for the 3rd time since the incident, that's what everyone had been referring to what happened that night, because no one truly knew what you were thinking if it was an accident or if you meant for that to happen, so they were not jumping to conclusions but Bucky felt it was obvious. Bucky didn't say a word when Steve suggested that he should go have a shower and change his clothes for the week, Bucky just kept his eyes on you before he nodded “C-can you stay? So someone is here if she wakes up?” Bucky’s voice was quiet and hoarse, Stunned that his oldest friend said something “Of course Buck” Steve made his way to where Bucky was sitting, taking over the spot Bucky hesitantly gave up.

3 minutes went by and Steve already felt bored, he loved you, you were one of his best friends, you were family but just sitting here listening to the rhythmic beeping, watching your chest rise than fall, he felt like he could be doing more, he had no idea how Bucky sat here day in and day out but deep down he knew it was because his best friend was in love. Steve decided to ask FRIDAY to call Bruce to y/n room.

Bruce came around the corner looking panicked his eyes darted towards you, still laying in bed, his eyes moved to meet Steves, who was standing in the corner of the room looking at your monitor. “Why can't we give her something to wake her up again?”

“Because Steve it could shock her whole system and with her abilities, who knows what kind of chaos that would cause we -“

Tony cut Bruce off entering your room “We also don't know what state she would be in, better to let her do it on her own, if she will”

Steve signed knowing the answers already, everybody already asked that question but it was starting to get hard seeing both his best friends like this, you looked peaceful laying there but at the same time Steve could see sadness written all over your face just like he could see pain all over Bucky’s. He knew Bucky blamed himself for what happened even though he had no control over it.

“Now next time you call me to this room, at least give FRIDAY some context, you almost gave me a heart attack” Bruce muttered walking out

Tony turned to look at Steve “You made the doc mad, you should go apologize Cap”

Steve sighed following Tony out of your room.

—

You opened your eyes, everything was blurry. You had to blink a few times but it was hard because your eyes felt so dry, it was almost painful. You were finally able to see clearly your head was throbbing from the fluorescent light in the room, it was clear as day that you were in the medical wing of the compound. You felt weird, almost disappointed, you weren't even sure what you were trying to accomplish in the tub but you knew it wasn’t this, you knew the possibilities of you ever waking up again was slim once everything went black and you were okay with that but the small chance that you did you were hoping you’d just knock yourself out and wake up in the tub. But laying here you knew they found you, you wondered how, did Friday alert them? Did you not lock your door and Tony or Steve brought you food like they had been for weeks and they found you. You wondered who all saw you like that, a complete mess. You felt numb, emotionally checked out, you sat there staring at your hands, that were crossed on your lap, when you saw someone walk by your room before they did a double take, they started shouting and waving at someone to come over. You wondered how long you had been out for.

The glass door slid open, you could see 6 pairs of shoes, your eyes still glued on your hands and none of them the combat boots you had hoped to see. You didn't really feel anything, someone started to wave a hand in front of your face, you could taste salt, were you crying? Or was it just the bitterness you felt? You dragged your gaze to meet Steve’s, he looked sad, his brow furrowed and his mouth moving but you didn’t process anything he said you were both overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time, you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out, the walls felt like they were closing in.

You scanned the room seeing who else was here, Bruce was standing at the end of your bed typing away at some screen, Tony to the right sitting at the foot of your bed, his mouth was moving to. Your thoughts were so loud you couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but when you heard heavy footsteps and a frantic voice, your eyes looked up to meet up panicked blue ones standing in the doorway, Bucky.

**

TAGS: @majo240820 @vicmc624 @jessyballet @jhiddles03 @mggpleasedontlookhere @smallangryandpink @lilxberry @thisisnotangel @hereforalongtime512 @austynparksandpizza @ajeff855 @thefandomplace

Please let me know if i missed your tag or if you wanna be tagged!

[sophielovesbooks]

Mid Year Book Freakout Tag!

I’m a bit late to this party… but I wrote this a few days ago when I wasn’t feeling 100% after getting my second Covid vaccine and took the entire day off. So I finally had the time to write this :)

Let me pull up my Goodreads real quick and have a look at the 33 books I have so far this year.

1. The Best Book of the Year So Far

Hmm, let’s see. I feel like it’s fair to give two answers to this one, because on the one hand, there is the book that qualifies as “the best” from a literary perspective (at least in my opinion) and that would be CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS by Sally Rooney. Definitely had its own style and felt… infused with a deeper meaning, at least to me. It was also very compelling. Personally, I couldn’t stop reading it. And I feel like it had a lot to say about modern-day relationships (romantic, platonic… all kinds really).

Then, there is the book that I personally enjoyed this most, and that was probably THE GIRLS ARE ALL SO NICE HERE by Laurie Elisabeth Flynn. It kind of felt like your standard thriller, but also not. While it was super suspenseful and fun to read, I also genuinely cared about the characters and loved the portrayal of toxic teen girls’ friendships and generally teenage cruelty in the context of wanting to be cool/to fit in. It made me reflect on a lot of things, so to me, it’s definitely more than a thriller that you forget right after reading it. And it also definitely qualifies as dark academia, and discovering a new DA book I love is always great! <3

2. Best Sequel of the Year So Far

Wow, I am NOT big on sequels. I have only read one this year, which is just further proof that I’m not very into book series and much prefer standalones. The only sequel I have read this year was also a very good one, though: MISTER IMPOSSIBLE by Maggie Stiefvater. Much anticipated by me and thankfully, I had a great time with it. :)

3. A New Release You Haven’t Read Yet But Want To

I’m going to go with MALIBU RISING by Taylor Jenkins Read! I was gifted this book by my boyfriend’s grandma for my birthday on June 29 (so sweet!) and I think I will read it next. I am very excited for this one!

4. Most Anticipated Release for Autumn/Winter

Two books I am VERY excited for are A LESSON IN VENGEANCE by Victoria Lee and IN MY DREAMS I HOLD A KNIFE by Ashley Winstead. I’m not even really sure why. I don’t know that much about either of them yet. But they just call to me, just like The Girls Are All So Nice Here did. And that one didn’t disappoint, so hopefully these two won’t either.

5. Your Biggest Disappointment of the Year So Far

Maybe THE GUEST LIST by Lucy Foley? I mean, it wasn’t awful. But I remember that I wasn’t impressed and had been expecting more somehow. Objectively the worst book I read this year would have to be THE SHARP EDGE OF A SNOWFLAKE by Sif Sigmarsdóttir, lol. But that one doesn’t count as the biggest disappointment, because I didn’t go in expecting that much. It was just an ebook that I bought for a low price at one point.

6. Your Biggest Surprise of the Year So Far

Definitely THE GIRLS I’VE BEEN by Tess Sharpe. I did not expect a YA thriller to be as intense and emotional and fun and just plain well-written as it was! Biggest positive surprise of the year so far, I think. :) I felt similarly surprised by  A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER by Holly Jackson. Another YA thriller (or mystery, I guess?) that was so much better than I had expected! 

7. New Favourite Author

I’m going to have to say THE MOTHER by Tess Stimson. I was expecting it to be a semi-fun thriller without much depth to it, just easy entertainment, I suppose. I was extremely surprised by the emotional depth I encountered. The death at the heart of this story is that of an infant, but I was expecting the book to sort of gloss over how tragic that actually is. Instead, it leaned into the grief so much, I found myself absolutely shook? The book almost moved me to tears several times. The mystery was so intense, I kept guessing and guessing. At one point quite early on, I had the solution, but the author masterfully misdirected me from that again, so that the twist at the end came as the biggest shock! Yeah, I loved this so much more than I had ever expected! Well done, Tess Stimson!

8. Your Newest Favourite Character

I haven’t absolutely fallen in love with any new characters this year, but three that stand out to me (in the order I encountered them this year) are:

1) Pippa Fitz-Amobi from A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO MURDER by Holly Jackson

2) Katrina Hawkins from THE STARLESS SEA by Erin Morgenstern

3) Nora O’Malley from THE GIRLS I’VE BEEN by Tess Sharpe

9. Your Newest Fictional Crush

Umm… absolutely nothing comes to mind lmfao. Fictional crushes have become so rare for me!

10. A Book that Has Made You Cry

THE MOTHER almost made me cry, I think. Not sure if there were actual tears. CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS and NORMAL PEOPLE both (almost) moved me to tears several times. But I didn’t have any break-downs over books this year. At least not yet.

EDIT: Omg, omg, omg, I forgot A LITTLE LIFE! How the f did I forget about A LITTLE LIFE?! I broke down over this book several times. It was awful. Never before has a book made me suffer so much. I mean that. I didn’t just cry, the book also made me feel physically ill several times. Very well written, yes, but not one I can recommend in good conscience. This is not one of those instances of “You’ll cry, but you’ll love crying”, at least not for me. This is something I perhaps should have not put myself through. Because the experience overall was painful, first and foremost. Stay safe, kids. This one is… a lot.

11. A Book That Has Made You Happy

This is so sad to say, but none of the books I read this year gave me that warm, glowy feeling of pure comfort and happiness you get from books sometimes? Some passages of THE STARLESS SEA came the closest, I would say.

12. The Most Beautiful Book of the Year So Far

Again, I need to mention THE STARLESS SEA with the beautiful prose and imagery! <3 Also A LITTLE LIFE maybe? Beautifully written at times. Absolutely heart- and gut-wrenching at others.

13. Some Books You Need to Read Before 2021 Ends

Hahaha… so many. But I’ll pick out a few that I will likely finish until the year is over: MALIBU RISING, AN OCEAN OF MINUTES by Thea Lim (birthday present by a close friend! <3), THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS by Micah Nemerever (birthday present my dad gave me! <3) and THEY NEVER LEARN by Layne Fargo (bday present my godmother gave me! <3). You see, I am much more committed to reading books that were given to me rather than books I bought myself. So these have good chances of being finished in 2021. :)

14. Tag Two of Your Favourite Community Members

@books-and-cookies Have you answered these questions yet? And @augustinianseptember? Would REALLY love to read both of your answers! <3<3

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu Angst fanfic recs

EDIT: I added in the ships for each fic LOL, prolly should’ve done it like that from the beginning smh my bad :’)))))

EDIT 2: I made a pt 2 linked HERE

No one asked me to do this, but I’m providing it anyway because we all need a little angst in our lives. Right? Anyway, this entire thing is going to be something you need to read warnings, tags, and summaries in advanced because everything here will be angst. Anyhoo, in no particular order, here comes the sadness... And also don’t come at me for putting fics I’ve recommended in the past,,,, it’s an angst post I have to put all of them.

WARNING: Almost all of these fics deal with either some sort of death, trauma, or mental illness so please I BEG OF YOU to proceed with caution. Also in NO way am I romanticizing any of these things, these fics recs are merely pieces I thought were written extremely well, and that portray major events from multiple perspectives skillfully. If you are struggling, please contact a hotline and get help, you are never in this alone!

National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia (E) 91.5k /MatsuHana/ is it possible to hate a character this much? I never realized how much hate/rage I had in me. Really. Like. Imma boutta fight this MF LIKE SQUARE UP. The way I tried to manifest a fake characters death like,,,, Anyway. If my RAGE doesn’t explain how good of a freakin writer they are, then idk what will. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

In Another Life by LittleLuxray (T) 23k /BokuAka/ it’s a classic, what can I say? You into some BokuAka angst? Here’s the fic. Go right ahead. Don’t be shy :’)

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony (T) 30.9k /KuroKen/ again, a classic. We do love a good soulmate AU tho :)))))))

^^ I didn’t write much here cause I wrote my general thoughts on a different post (linked here) so yea it’s not that I don’t like the fic, it’s just that I didn’t want to be more redundant than I already am LOL.

Oikawa's Last Wish/es by DanaiaCake (G) 5.1k /IwaOi/ this one, man it’s short but painful LOL. Proof that angst doesn’t have to be long to completely break you ahhahah. It actually has a sequel (which is less angsty), but yea if you like finish this fic and are like broken, read it for some.... glue?

The Sky and Guilt Are the Only Feelings I Have Left by oopsthisisqueertoo (NR) 267.7k /BokuAkaKuroo/ ngl I picked it up as a rec from someone else after misreading that it was THIS long haha. But like I kept reading, and the suspense omg. It HAS a happy ending, so if you’re reading it and you start to feel empty, push through (tho take breaks) and finish because it DOES end HAPPY. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

Made to be Broken by todxrxki (T) 8.1k /KuroKen/ this one focuses more on the after than the build up, and it made me so sad (as it should cause this is literally an angst fic rec post smh @ myself). I usually don’t cry too much but this one made the waterworks turn ON. Sighhhhhhhhhhh. Bless Akaashi.

Even Though it All Went Wrong by plumtrees (T) 9.2k /MatsuHana/ THIS IS THE REASON THIS POST CAME TO BE. I love this fic with all my heart (or what’s left of it). Like LOVE as in, this fic really broke me beyond just breaking me. Like. When Oikawa says what he says to Mattsun after the thing (you’re sorry __ _____ __ ____) and the Iwa right after (we know __’__ ___ ______ to make you ____ __ ____) (if you’re wondering wtf I’m putting here, just ctrl F you’re sorry and you’ll see), you cannot believe how hard that hit. GOD. (I am okay if you’re wondering :’)) This is my #1 favorite angst fic of all time and if you are okay mentally and have read the tags and warnings and are fine with them, then please read it. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (M) 15.7k /SakuAtsu/ THE MUG FIC. There was a sequel and when I saw that it took me another week to read it cause I was like,,, am I ready to have my heart break again? No LOL. But the sequel is actually not as angst, so if you want like a semi-broken whatever, just read the sequel LOL. It’s so sad and it made me physically hurt every time someone even mentioned mugs afterwards (LOL why am I so dramatic but it’s the truth :///). Go ahead and hurt with me.

Crumbling Foundations by Captain_Hughes_ZU, ToshiChan (T) 106.3k /MULTI/ I was debating whether or not to put this fic cause it actually doesn’t even have the angst tag (which I personally think it should). Honestly, it’s more a trauma fic than an angst fic idk I just wanted to put it somewhere because it’s written super well and although it was technically a ‘happy ending’ the interviews after prove else. Despite only being rated T, it’s got some intense TW so (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

arbitrary nature of thought. by wadingpool (NR) 5.6k /SunaOsa/ this....... ah... ahh.... The pain...... I really love the SunaAtsu friendship agenda. The ending was happy (I keep doing this LOL) but the build up to the break,,,,, AHHHH. Yea the ending was really heartwarming....... BUT THE BEGINNING. Yea it really jumbled me up..... JFLJDSFLKJHDLFHS

How To Be A Kick-Ass Brother: A Guide by Miya Atsumu by Egosdelirium (E) 25k /SakuAtsu + SunaOsa/ what personal vendetta do I have against Osamu? Nothing, literally nothing he just happens to always suffer in the fics I choose oops. This fic is one I really like, and it portrays the close outsider’s perspective on a horrific event really well. I was iffy on putting this in because it’s not really the angst type I was going for (more death less trauma?) but I really liked this fic, and while I was making my end note, I kept thinking about it so yea. Atsumu best boy. (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

You might be thinking, done already? Wellllllll there were a lot of fics where I decided against putting them on (cause I felt like it didn’t really match what I wanted to be recommending but idk what the theme was LOL oops but yea I would look at a fic and think well it is angst but not the right TYPE of angst y’know?) and I really hate reading angst (there’s a lot of days where I shouldn’t cause my mental health said no thanks LOL). Also I wanted like FULL angst fics, but most of them have like happy endings (which made some of these iffy and is good but also it wasn’t what I wanted to put :////) So yes, I may add to this post (we’ll see) but like it’ll depend on whether I can convince myself that reading angst at 4 am is a good idea LOL. (pls recommend me some too!)

[maagicmiss]

Endgame spoilers !! Beware the spoil !!

This movie was amazing. With a lot of humor, which never fall flat. I was dumbfounded from the beginning to the end tbh Nobody asked for it but there is my hot take of Avengers 4 :

I felt really bad for Thor because ya know, depression™️ but damn the surprise/shock made me laugh. Noobmaster is an absolute evil that we need to end. They kinda did him dirty, I really wasn’t wanting for that but eh 🤷🏻‍♀️ Broken man 😔 Everytime I think about how much he lost I die inside a little more. Rocket was the real best dude here. Cheers to him. I was so fck happy for him when he got his hammer back !!! Like !!! "I’m still worthy" !!!!! You go you funky thunderous man !!! He deserves to be happy at all cost. Protect this man. During the last battle I was shook, with both his hammer and axe, fighting the purple asshole, so cool. Amazing, truly. Also, when he gave Valkyrie the commandment ?? My queen. She’s now my queen. By the way, we all know who’s in command of the Guardians now 🔥🔥😂

I can’t exprim how much I was sad for Natasha. When I saw them climbing this damned mountain I understood it was over for her 😭😭 I will love her until my dying breaths. She did deserve better but she died protecting her family, and the earth. She was the one who fought until the end, who did everything she could, and managed to avenge the earth. Thanks to her Thanos was defeated. Let’s honor her 😭👊🏻🔥

Clint. Like, dude. Pain. Angst. A bit of stupidity but that’s Clint so yeah. The assasinsbowl was ofc won by Natasha, and he lived. I would’ve been pissed if he died because he killed all this (bad indeed) people out of pettiness and sadness and anger for his family but he would’ve let himself die ? I understand. But like, dude. No. You’re a father. A husband. Natasha was ofc going to sacrifices herself instead of you.

HULK !!! My man. He’s happy and that’s all that matter 😭❤️ We stan a confident and humourus man y’all (Im still waiting for a height joke when Scott got aaaaaall huge in the end rip) Also, him being ashamed of his past self ??? Amazing. I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams lol I was dead when he met the old sorceress and got kicked out of his body lmaoo

STEVE. Or best known as America’s ass. Bae. I love that man. Everybody does. He did it. He did all his possible and it payed off. Also what a quick learner. When the hammer got lift, I was "W H O ???" Tbh I was thinking Loki, like "yo surprise bitches" but it was way better xD I think I screamed lmaooo But man, so fucking cool and impressive. That scene where he stand alone in front of Thanos and of his whole army ? With his broken shield ? I C O N I C. I am already seeing all the edit, gif, tribute, fanart and fanfic about it. I can’t wait y’all. Although, I was a bit disappointed about his closure ? Like yeaaah it was neat but... idk....... a bit dissatisfied and disappointed. The Steve/Steve was funny but also sad, idk. Although, Steve in the elevator saying Heil Hydra was beautiful.

Tony. I need to say it. Steve did him dirty. Like. Poor man. He didn’t deserve that, at all. I would’ve preferred Steve snapping down Thanos than him. He’s a father !! A husband too !!! Steve promised to him he wasn’t going to die. LIES, ALL LIES. I’m salty. But no hate for the blond man please. In the end, it was Tony choice. In the end with "The proof that Tony Stark has a heart" was heartbreaking. I wasn’t ready AT ALL. I’m not his biggest fan but oh damn, Sadness got me down. His daughter ? Pain. The little kid from Iron man 3 ?? Pain. Happy being sad ? Pain. Pepper ? Pain. I’m dead. He deserved better 😔 When he met his dad, I was dying. Dying of sadness but also of joy. Glad he could talk to him, and even hug him !!!!

Carol !!! THE bitch. I love her. She could walk on me and I would apologize. We didn’t saw her that much but ya know, it’s cool. I gave her entry a 9/10 because there wasn’t thunder lol (unlike Thor in Infinity War, who rightfully had a mighty 10/10). She was a queen. That haircut ? Beautiful.

Nebula. She’s my bae. Protect her. She’s doesn’t seem to need it but she does. Baby. She baby. But she’s a dangerous baby so be careful lmao Her killing in cold blood her past her (??? Was that suicide ?? Or murder ?? Or murder suicide idk ???) to protect her past sister was tragically sad and heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m saying a lot beautiful but hey I’m doing my best with my limited vocabulary. Nebula and her, and the guardian deserves happiness. Lowkey shooketh that nobody saw it was the past Nebula and not the right one but I’m going to excuse them by saying it the excitement of having all Infinity stones and of sadness for Natasha. Other way I’m about to throw hands 🤬😤

Iconic moment :

Carol saving Tony’s ass. We all knew that was how it gonna to happen but I was so relieved. 9/10.

Thor killing in cold blood Thanos in front of everyone, dead inside was wow, brutal. Not happiness out of it, no recomfort. Merciless, brutal, cold. He was here for the head and he got it. 7/10

Not an iconic moment but shush. The five years later ? I was astonished. It must have been 5 painful years. The world was in shred, dusts and broken people everywhere. Pain. Everything is blue, melancholic, broke. If I was one of the missing people coming back I would tell to every fucking one that joke "Hey, I’m gone like 5 seconds and everybody go apeshit ? What would you all do without me ?" Yeah im that bitch lmao 10/10 because you feel that emptiness and sadness.

Tony joining the idiots and Tired Steve™️ with an actual good plan in his fancy car with a lot of skids and other fancy stuff ? 10/10 good one, boi

That scene from Avengers 1 ? Then them on the side ? 6/10

Steve in that elevator ? You already know. 9/10

Steve commenting on his own ass ?? 1000/10 Trust me, it’s fair. Were waiting for that since Avengers 1.

I love Steve

Loki ?? Man, that dude is a joke but I love him. The face he made when he saw the case slide.... beautiful. The face he made when he jumped in the time hole ??? Iconic. 10/10. I want to know how everything is gonna to play with his series. I wanted more of him tbh I even was waiting for him in the last battle. By the way, is he still dead ? If he never went to Odin.... idk. Lowkey confused here.....

And last but not least :

The final battle.

Damn.

The fight between Iron Man, Thor, Captain and Thanos was intense. I was on the edge of my seat lmao It reminds me of their fight in Avengers 1, in the forest, for Loki. They were fighting against each other, now they’re fighting together 🔥👊🏻❤️ 9/10

Steve picking up the hammer ? 10/10 No comment, it’s fair. (The "I knew it" of Thor was priceless)

Steve getting a rematch on Thanos with both his shield and Hammer ? I C O N I C. 9/10 because it didn’t last long in my opinion.

Steve in front of the whole army ? Alone ? The face dirty of dirt and blood, the shield cut in half ? After he slowly stood up, even tho he was tired and probably had broken ribs ? How dare you not applause. That old man was ready to fight them all, and to fucking die. Stupid but amazing. 1001/10. Slightly better than him commenting on his own ass lmao (tag me if u ever do a fanart of this scene please)

Sam calling Steve ? Not iconic but still. I was dying and it cured me. My skin is clear, my debt are payed off, my grades are perfect and I’m now immortal.

The Powerful Women squad ? Damn. I love it. Sign me up for 10 movies about their shenanigans around the universe. 10/10

All the dead one coming back to life ? All the dead coming through the portals ? And looking badass af ?? Doctor Strange ? Wong ? Wanda ? Sam ? Bucky ? Spider man ? The Guardians looking sharp ? Black Panther with his sister and Okoye ? The Wankanda Army ? The spatial ships ? EVERYONE ????? Bitch Please, it was perfect. 10/10.

Tony snapping ? "I’m Iron Man." I was euphoric. 10/10. Then I was really sad. So 10/pain

"Proof that Tony Stark has an heart" ? A painful 7/10.

As you can read, I loved that movie. Like, very much, but, I’m a bit dissatisfied about the music. The Russos were idk, timid ? Shy about it. Most of them were old one, the themes of the characters and the principal theme (the one from avengers 1). Nothing too extraordinary, nor extravagant. Can do better.

Also, idk why but I found that Hulk was a bit weird ? Idk he seemed emotionless ? Maybe it’s only me but I didn’t like that much the CGI of Hulk this time.

Wanda. She barely spoke. Rip

Tony’s death. He shouldn’t have died.

Steve’s old days/death/idk. I’m not buying it. I don’t like it either. Glad Sam is Captain America now tho. Sad for Bucky. The dude is gonna end up alone in 2022 (or idk what years) with only Sam and Steve’s grandchildren or idk Rip dude

There is soooo much to say about this movie. Like, I write something down and something else is immediately coming up x) Maybe I’ll edit stuff later.

[scootboot97]

Author Meme!

Author Name:

on here im Scoot Boot, but on Ao3 Im tobiismycat

Fandoms You Write For:

I started in the James Bond fandom actually, and every now and then I went to the Bandom, which is, fanfiction for your fav bands, uh mychemical romance and shuchh  ahem and now im here,  

Where You Post:

sometimes on Tumblr but mostly on Ao3, 

Most Popular One-Shot:

uhh actually its one of the more recent things, i dont write a lot of oneshots, 

Family Bonding is, surprisingly popular.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

I have an 18 page james bond fic which has almost 7000 hits right now. im scared to read it back to myself that bad boys so old.

Favourite Story You Wrote:

I have a smol collection of works that i wrote on issues i was having at that moment and their my favorites actually, if you can find em and read em all  you can track my growth as a human lol 

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

definitely How did we get here, 

one one hand i was anxious because a few of the other fics ive seen where they mention one of the boys having a self harm problem dont have comments allowed so i was like 80 percent sure that i was going to catch hell in the comments for it.  and on the other hand i was anxius cause i had no proof reader because of the 100 percent personal to me content my normal editer is still not allowed to see it. 

that and Damian is a literal pain in my ass to write. 

How Do You Choose Your Titles:

sometimes i just toss random shit at it till something stands out and sticks.  

Do You Outline:

not really ?  i mean i kinda do burst outlines,  like i know what particular section i REALLY  want to write and i’ll list shit i know i need to toss in if im having a real hard time. 

Complete:

uh I have 31 posted in total, about like 15 are actually listed compleate i think. 

In-Progress:

stupid amounts. 

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:

like 4 halloween themed ones because i LOVE scareing my babys. 

except i havnt fucking written them at all. and i need to actually sit down and start them. 

Do You Accept Prompts:

yes please, I’m a chaser not a leader my man. 

they stick me just behind the other kids in cross country for a reason.

 if you give me a prompt and ask me nicely i might have it done faster then my actual English hw.  

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write:

I really wanna do a story where Jason find the bones of an animal and brings them home because they called to him. 

Tagged By:

uh I was tagged by Elareine last fucking week and got distracted. 

Tagging:

@elareine

im like brand new here i literlly only talk to one person pls make freinds with me i’m so willing to just go the fuck off on anything. 

[viviansternwood]

So the absolute sweetest @blodreina-noumou tagged me to do this positivity meme that is about choosing your five favourite mutuals in the fandom and giving them all the love. I’m all for it, but five??? How am I supposed to leave it at that?

I mean since she was the one who tagged me, I’m perfectly within my right to talk about Steph. She appeared at the time when this fandom was basically drowning in Octavia hate and for some time I felt so lost because it seemed like I was the only person in the 100 fandom not only not hating her guts, but also trying to defend her. I kept posting positivity about Octavia and getting hate in response, but then Steph started reblogging my stuff and I was like, wait... There are people who love her, just like I do. I followed her, and it’s been amazing every since. She’s a very private person and tends to stay out of any fandom brawls, but she’s very good at just... being there for people, you know? So many times I would be having one of those moment when I just hated my life, and I’d post something about it not expecting anyone to read or care, and Steph would suddenly come out and say something that, if not necessarily fixing things, pushes me along on the path. And that’s what matters, doesn’t it? Someone who helps you make small steps through every day. Steph is an amazing person, and she has such an insight in people and characters, it’s wonderful. I think that’s what makes all her metas so good. Sweetie, thank you so much for following me and for being in this fandom. It would not be the same without you. <3

1. @daeneryskairipa

I honestly have so much love and respect for Linda. She is in a lot of fandoms, and she’s never caught up in any drama or negativity. She’s a very quiet, private and absolutely talented person, whose gifsets are something our fandom doesn’t deserve. Just when I started making gifs about a year ago, her edits were what I aspired mine to look like just because they’re so, so beautiful. I mean, if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I use her gifs for my headers more than anyone else’s. Also, fun fact, but just when I started giffing, I had no idea how tags worked, so I looked at Linda’s tagging system and basically adopted it (sorry Linda lol). Go follow her, she produces such amazing content, our fandom is blessed to have her. <3

2. @clarkgriffon

I think Mira will always take a special place in my heart because she was one of the very first people I spoke to in this fandom. I believe I had about 90 followers at the time, and I messaged her to tell her that her tags were hilarious because she would always not only tag them purposefully to systematise content, but also add her reactions and it made things so much better. Mira is also one of those people who will see or hear you say some small detail about yourself once and remember it, and then randomly bring it up in the conversation. She just cares about people and remembers. She’s one of the most unassuming people I know because she will give you advice on the things that bother you and won’t push for anything more than you’re prepared to give in that moment. And sometimes that’s the best we can do for others. Just be there for them. And I honestly think no one produces more content for our fandom (mainly Bellarke as well) than Mira does, for which, sweetie, thank you so much because there were so many moments when I just thought there was no more hope for Bellarke, but then I’d see one of your gifsets and feel better. Really, thank you, I’m so happy to know you!

3. @keiraknighted

The story behind why Emily followed me is funny. Apparently, she was so frustrated with Zaven because she just wasn’t feeling it and it seemed to her like literally no one else was shipping Murven, so she purposefully searched in the anti zaven tag and found me. So that’s when she followed me. And I remember I followed her because she had this cute icon from Anne With an E, and I’d been reading her fics for like two years before that, but it never clicked that she was the person writing them hahah.

Emily is an amazing person. She’s so warm and sweet and understanding, and she’s one of those people who will go out of their way to do something if you ask them to. Her fanfics basically got me through the hiatus. I always joke with her that she has this talent to make you feel second hand embarrassment like no one else does, and I stand by those words because she’s just that talented. She can portray a situation in a way that you feel so involved you want to die of embarrassment when the character is embarrassed, and it’s a beautiful thing! Please go check out her fics, I promise you, you will not regret it. My absolute favourite of all time (Emily is probably sick of hearing about it by now lmao) is Smoke Break, which, do yourself a favour and go read right now please!! 

Thank you so much for everything, sweetie! I don’t know what kind of fandom experience I would have without you, probably trash smh.

4. @daenerya

Luna is someone about whom I should talk a lot more because she’s become such a vital part of my life and my fandom experience that it’s crazy. Luna is someone who never gives up on people, for better or for worse. She’s probably one of the most loyal people I know, and if there’s something I respect and love and appreciate, it’s loyalty. She helped me get through one of the toughest moments in my life by being completely calm while I was panicking and having pretty much a mental breakdown, giving me invaluable advice and just being there for me. Thank you so much for that, sweetie, I will never forget it.

She is also such a positive person. She probably won’t admit this to save her life, but she has so much love and hope for this world and people in general. She’s open to everyone, absolutely loving and sweet and understanding. 

Her edits are beautiful because she’s so talented but also puts an incredible amount of effort in. She has such strong opinions that she is unapologetic about because she cares about people and stands up for them. 

5.@lameblake

When you follow Ali, you don’t just get a mutual. You automatically receive a friend. And it’s amazing. Ali is probably the most supportive person I know. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through, however you deal with your issues, she’ll do her best to understand, accept it and help you get through your tough times. I honestly believe that she feels other people’s pain.

Please, go follow her. Give her all the love you can because she’s so, so deserving.

Honourable mentions,

for people who are just as important as the five mentioned above, but to whom I either haven’t spoken to a lot or haven’t talked recently because life got in the way:

@eternallyecho - for reaching out continuously, even if I’m being an antisocial ass, and for accepting and understanding me the way I am, believing that I know myself;

@easilydistractedbyfanfic - for being an endless flow of optimism and Murven content and support with all the random things I have asked your advice for;

@raven-reyes-of-sunshine for not only being there for me at the hardest of times, but also letting me do my best to be there for you because you definitely deserve all the love the world can give you and more!

@twinzmoon for being two little rays of sunshine who always want to make other people’s days better. Completely selfless and wonderful people deserving of the entire world;

@boomheda , @aproblematicpanda  and @sawyerblakes (actually not mutuals but this post would be a lie if I didn’t mention you) for being the proof that you don’t have to agree on every single thing to be friends with someone. Different interests don’t mean people can’t be kind and loving towards one another. Thank you guys, I love you three so much. You made my fandom experience bearable for the past year;

@pathokinessis for being a little ball of love and positivity who loves people without asking anything in return. Thank you, sweetie, you’re absolutely amazing and there’s no describing to how much I love and appreciate you!

P.S. If I haven’t mentioned you on this list, please don’t feel offended and remember that I love you and appreciate you.

[sailor-freak]

So I don't exactly come on here anymore but HI I HAVE THINGS TO TELL YOU A LOT HAS HAPPENED basically GWSN have noticed me like 6/7 members and here is the proof 😎

IT IS A LONG STORY and I shall tell said story, get comfy, grab some scran, let us get into it, I AM going to put this under read more cos IT IS A LOOOOONG STORY.

So you may have heard of the app Stan World, if not, it is a K-pop based app where they do votes and competitions in order for fans to win things like ads for their favourite K-pop artists. GROOS ARE AMAZING AT THIS we've been part of 3 Stan World competitions and won 2 of them, the second time we won't talk about basically it was completely unfair but the first time and the third time we won and got top ad prizes 😎 this was obviously for the third competition, I believe it was for all female artists so there was A LOT of other artists involved but huh we won by a landslide even against much more popular groups WE KNOW HOW TO STAN WORLD IT'S ALL WE HAVE IN THE PARK.

So we won first place ✌️ and the prize was a SHIT TONNE of train station ads and big screen billboard ads, not like MASSIVE ones obviously but they weren't small 😂 the first time we won these ads was around the comeback announcement, so LOADS of ads were submitted and there was votes for the best ones that would be used we were spoilt for choice. This time, NOBODY SENT ADS. Like... the deadline was so small and every day the main groo accounts were rt-ing asking for more submissions like where did all the designer groos go 🙃 now idk if anyone here is from my old Sera Myu blog or remembers my old photo edits... they were DIRE. HOWEVER times were desperate, I had so many things to do at this time but I thought I could at least make SOMETHING so we would have something. So I chose to do a set of poster board ads (they're screens but not moving ones), picked a row of 7 that were next to the exit stairs of one of the stations and made these ads.

Won't include all of them but here's my bias line lol. They're super basic cos I genuinely didn't have time, I got these pretty pics, popped the text on, put them in GWSN's official colours and emailed them to the groo that was associating with Stan World to submit the ads. Then... I waited.

NEW YEAR HAPPENED and after a week or so the ads were put up and Korean groos began to share pics of them when they went to see them. One day one of them goes to the station where I submitted my ads to and LOW AND BEHOLD MY ADS WERE THERE ON THE STAIRS.

(original post look at the other ads they're SO GOOD)

SO I KNEW MY ADS WERE UP that was honestly enough for me, I was so happy that I'd done something for GWSN and people were getting to see it, and they were possibly advertising the group to people and GWSN would get more fans WHICH IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING.

Now I like to joke a bit on Twitter, so for a laugh I tweeted this:

I tagged GWSN's account in it cos they never respond to anything so like it wouldn't do anything, and I used a silly gif of Minju cos I was happy my ads were up I was flexing 😂 .

Anyway, a couple of days later, another K-groo goes to see all the ads we won for GWSN. They actually forgot to take pics of my ads but I didn't care I knew they were there 😂. After tweeting all these pics, this groo THEN tweeted that they were in shock because they had just seen GWSN (OT6 Soso is still on unofficial hiatus 😭) with their manager taking pics with the ads.

NOW I WAS JUST IN SHOCK AT THE FACT GWSN WENT OUTSIDE their sns has been EMPTY for MONTHS it's painful, so knowing that they were all together taking pics with these ads I was just happy about that 😂. Then it hit me, that GWSN may have ACTUALLY gone to see my ads and taken pics with my ads. Thing is, the groo didn't specify which station they saw GWSN at, and we didn't know if they had only gone to see one station of ads or all of them. SO FOR FOUR ENTIRE DAYS we sat waiting for GWSN to post pics of them with these ads, cos we knew it had happened we had to get the post soon 😭.

Like I said, four days later, which is today, I come back home (if you got the 2NE1 reference nice) and see that GWSN have posted, like, just as I walked through the door about 1pm. I literally clicked on the notif like "omg who is it who is it who posted" just expecting it to be one of the members "daily" selfies (I say "daily" cos they keep skipping days it used to be daily), instead seeing a pic of two of the members in front of two of the big ad screens (specifically this one, I could barely see who it was because they're stood so far back and wearing masks but it's Miya and Anne)

The way Instagram works (where I saw them, I usually get a Twitter notif on my laptop but I'd been out so just had my phone) is you have to swipe through to see more pics, so realisation hit that these were the pics of GWSN with the ads we'd won and made for them and I SWIPED looking at all the pics obviously but, like, in desperation of seeing if they took pics with my ones. THE SECOND TO LAST ONE I SAW THIS:

MINJU STOOD WITH MY ADS. I SCREECHED.

THEN I SWIPED AGAIN AND SAW THIS:

OT6 WITH MY ADS. I NEARLY CRIED.

I expressed all my EMOTIONS on Twitter, I screamed to all my friends, and now I'm coming to you to tell the story. The story of how this dumb annoying star competition app got me noticed by GWSN 😭. They don't know the ads were made specifically by me, but I don't care, they saw them and that's all that matters to me.

Also really not to flex but THAT WAS THE ONLY OT6 PIC all the other pics were either one or two of the members, this was the final one, THE GROUP ONE, and it was with my ads I mean I'm 😭. I'm just very happy rn 😁.

Anyway I might start posting on this blog again idk ✌️.

[julietsoddeye]

Aikie’s The EℓyXiOn in Manila Experience (180428)

I will be posting my experience in bullets because I still feel dumb right now and I cannot construct proper sentences lol. And this post will be long, there’s more after the cut.

TW (lol): If you hate grammar and spelling lapses, don’t read this lmfao. I’m just writing what’s left of my soup-like brain. My memory is for shit right now, so I might edit this in the future.

BTW I didn’t take a lot of videos except for my IG stories. I just enjoyed the show because I know there are lots of people taking videos anyway ahhaha, literally my view is everyone’s phone askjdnksfnd. If not for my 5 inch platforms, I wouldn’t see shit. 

If you wanna see what I got, here is my instagram: @beautyinbattle (It’s on highlight, I think you can only watch it on mobile) the sequence is not in order because my data and internet at home is shitty lol. (What’s new, Philippines?)

@supplyallmysauces and I were up making our banner until 3:30 AM

I set my alarm at 6 AM, but I woke up at 5:30 (I guess I’m too excited lmfaooooo)

My makeup that day!!!

We left the house by 9 and we got to the venue past 10 AM

We went around looking for the GA’s I won (Support Banners from JM and JD local fansites, Food Support from JM local fansite and a CBX Blooming Days album from a well known international fan)

Just some of the things I got from fansites.

Chinese for lunch with my lovely friends

We’re not yet complete here hahaha

After our lunch, we hangout in Chilli’s and ordered drinks. I was gonna ordered beer but I was too fucking sleepy so I just got a very sweet mango smoothie with extra syrup. I also ate a packet of brown sugar and sipped @supplyallmysauces‘ Cerveza Negra hahahahahaha.

@supplyallmysauces and I left before 3 PM to start lining for our section. The queuing was shit, as expected from Pulp Live World. We had the same experience with 2NE1′s AON in 2014. And when you complain to their co-owner she would just say “You enjoyed the show, right? Just smile” (her exact words to me when I vented my feelings out) lol

Got inside our area by 5:40 PM. Literally 20 Minutes before the show started!!! WTF

Now starting here, I can’t seem to remember much... But here goes.

First thing I noticed was Chanyeol touching Jongin’s butt and then Jongin kicking him in the ass.

Then Chanyeol touching Sehun’s butt, Sehun kicking Chanyeol too. (Not sure if he kicked CY tho, my memory is hazy but something like that did happen)

Chanyeol, Jongin, and Sehun were really playful with each other.

Jongin and Kyungsoo look extra happy that night. They were all smiles.

EXO-Ls singing Sing For You, some members (especially Baekhyun) were letting us sing along. Kyungsoo looked so proud and happy when we literally sang the whole song.

Junmyeon, Jongin, and Baekhyun mentioned an incoming album. ASLJSKDKJD

Junmyeon looked so tired and disoriented most of the time in the beginning because he saw his sasaeng, Rion, among the crowd :(

Junmyeon mentioned and ‘promoted’ Blooming Days. KING OF CBX PROMOTION, AMIRIGHT??? SM ENTERTAINMENT WYD???

Chanyeol mentioned his last trip to Bohol and he got his Diving License there.

Sehun mentioned his last trip to Batangas too and how he enjoyed it. He recommended his members to go there.

Junmyeon said the weather is nice in the Philippines. And we’re all like “Uhm, no?” hahahaha. We hit 40 degree C 2 weeks ago, wtf!!! Whenever someone arrives we’re like “WELCOME TO HELL!”

The Koreans reactions when Junmyeon said they don’t wanna go back to Korea was so funny ahahaha. They were literally like 😨😨😨

The crowd screamed “Walang Uuwi” (Literally means “No one’s going back home”) And EXO were confused because the translator didn’t explain what it meant. Jongdae was like “Walang u-waeee?” it was so funny.

Baekhyun sang Baby Shark in Korean and then the crowd continued in English. Chanyeol and Jongin were dancing along with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo didn’t know what it was, so he asked Chanyeol what a ‘Baby Shark’ is lmfaoooo you’re so cute Kyungsoo!!!

Jongdae and Baekhyun were looking in our general area and I’m not sure if they saw mine and @supplyallmysauces‘ banner, but I feel like they did. It just didn’t register in their brain. They were probably really tired too :(

@supplyallmysauces‘ Banner

JUNMYEON SAW MY BANNER AND WE MADE EYE CONTACT FOR 10 SECONDS JKDFSBNKSKNFLKSDFN I DO NOT HAVE A VIDEO OR PICTURE AS PROOF BUT IT DID HAPPEN. I WASN’T EXPECTING IT AND HE EVEN SCRUNCH HIS NOSE AT ME WTF. My only witness was @supplyallmysauces AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

MY FCGKING BANNER. I’m glad I didn’t sleep until 3 AM just for this! ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING IS WORTH IT HAHAHAHAHA.

10초동앗 저를 봐주세용 (Look at me for 10 second please /the “용“ -yong/ with aegyo lmfao) and Junmyeon delivered!!! 

MY BIAS, MY ANGEL, MY HUSBAND, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, KIM FUCKING JUNMYEON!!! NO ONE DESERVES YOU, MY BABY YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS UGLY WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HUHUHUHUH!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

After the show, I cannot fucking walk anymore. My feet are literally dead by that time. So we stayed by the snack bar for a bit and reviewed the whole show dfkjdflk

Me with @supplyallmysauces, @loeyeolty and our friends!!! I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!

Oh and @supplyallmysauces caught two CHEN BALLS LMFAO

Now... Let’s talk about my Jongdae side of the banner going viral...

It all started with this picture. IDK who took it, but THANK YOU. LFMAO.

I saw @oh-beyond tagged me in a post while I was trying not to die. And it went downhill from there. People keep tagging me on Twitter and just LAKDJLADKJLDAKD

Tumblr Posts HERE, and HERE

Twitter Posts HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE

Facebook Post HERE

IF YOU KNOW MORE PLACES WHERE IT GOT RE-POSTED, LET ME KNOW!!!

While my friends were lining up to order in CBTL, some girls were talking about my banner. THANK GOD I WASN’T THERE YET TO WITNESS THAT!!! I MIGHT DIE LMFAO.

I guess that’s about it. I will be editing this if there’s any more happenings I remember. lol. BYE.