#not that you even bothered to teach them basic commands

[rebekahgaveup]

People who buy working dogs and then don't exercise them and leave them cooped up in a tiny house with a tiny "yard" deserve to be publically executed actually

[mydogatemymotivation]

Ok I wanna talk about the Zeb of Kalluzeb cuz sometimes I feel like he gets a little overlooked, but I have thoughts. A lot of people, when they're talking about Kalluzeb, talk about how Zeb can see the light in Kallus that he can't really see in himself all the time, and that's true, of course. But the extent of the discourse around Zeb is about Lasan, and I'm not trying to dismiss that or anything, but there's more to it than that. I think Zeb, the people around him, and the fandom, honestly, have this idea of Zeb that boils down to "good for a laugh, good for a drink, good for a game of sabacc, and good in a fight" and that makes a lot of interpretations of Zeb a little one dimensional.

But think of him this way: he was the Captain of the High Honor Guard on Lasan and he's a Rebellion Captain, and part of an ancient Lasat prophecy. These are all very noble, very honorable things. So how bizarre was it for him, then, to resonate with Kallus. If Zeb can see the light in Kallus then I think it stands to reason that Kallus can see the darkness in Zeb. And I think it would be so much more interesting to see Zeb react to that, because that shakes the foundation of who he thought he was. He sees himself as the white knight character, proud and honorable. So why does he like the fight so much? Why does he find kinship with a man soaked in so much blood? To see this happy guy who's always down for drinks and cards be so enamored with someone from Imperial High Command, I think it would rattle a lot of people, including Zeb.

I think Zeb hides a lot underneath his jovial nature, even from himself, and to have Kallus hold up a mirror to all the parts of himself that Zeb tries to hide would make him feel so exposed. Idk how many of you have watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I was thinking about Spike and Buffy (I have a point, I promise, stay with me) and this is very much their dynamic. Buffy, who tries to convince herself that she's 'just a girl' and that she doesn't like being the slayer, likes Spike because he holds up a mirror to all the darker parts of herself. She likes that he's dangerous, she likes that she can be herself, she likes how rough he is, she likes that Spike can see all of that and that he still loves her despite those things, or even because of those things. And I love that dynamic, and I see some of Kallus and Zeb in it. Zeb likes that Kallus is dangerous, he likes the thrill that comes with loving him, he likes that Kallus resonates with darker parts of himself, and that's scary for him.

Kallus gives Zeb an outlet for his anger that can go toe-to-toe with him, he likes that he understands the pain of wanting vengeance and the pain of what happened on Lasan. It feels like, sometimes, the rest of the Ghost crew doesn't quite know what to do with Zeb (and this is no hate to them, I love them, it just bothers me), no one knows how to help him through the anger he has, no one knows how to talk to him about Lasan and he ends ups so alone, even with his family, because how could they understand that kind of darkness. But Kallus does because he was there. (And I don’t mean any disrespect to what Kanan went through, but he had Ahsoka for a long time. And he has Ezra who he can pass the teaching of the Jedi onto. He still has Jedi temples he can go to; we never see Zeb go back to Lasan. He’s also surrounded by other humans, but Zeb’s species itself was under attack. No one else in the rebellion is even breathing air the same way Zeb is. It’s incredibly isolating.)

I keep imagining the two of them in a fight, on the same side finally, and Kallus, being basically a living weapon, is covered in someone's blood and Zeb's first thought is, wow, red really is his color, followed immediately by OH MY GOD WHO SAID THAT. WHO SAID IT. NOT ME. …then again… the way his manic smile reflects off his blood-soaked knife is really - mmmmmnope. Nope,nope,nope not doing that. Not doing it. No thank you. He sees exactly what Kallus is and is incredibly into it. And that would be so distressing for him because he sees himself as this kind, noble person, and he is, but he doesn't want to deal with what it means to love Kallus. And everyone around him sees him as a kind, noble person, so when he starts having feelings for Kallus, he gets pulled to the side by a few who say, "hey, are you okay?" not in a comedic way, but in a genuine, this isn't who you told us you were, what's going on? And Zeb doesn't have any answers because this isn't who he convinced himself he was, either. Everyone put Zeb on this pedestal, but Kallus grounded him, and it’s like everyone is finally seeing this guy at eye level instead of at a distance and Zeb just has to stand there and take it.

Even in Buffy, though, it takes her a long time to accept her feelings for Spike because of how scared she is of herself. When she finally admits to Tara that she and Spike are having an affair, she fully breaks down. Like, she's on her knees sobbing, begging Tara not to forgive her for what she's doing because she wants to be punished by someone, anyone for the way she is, but Tara does forgive her, and she just cries harder. And that kind of shell-shocked, I'm actually as dark as he is, and I don't like that he saw it before I did kind of angst is what I'm talking about.

It's not just Lasan that they have in common. Zeb doesn't just balance Kallus, Kallus has to balance Zeb, too. And that realization that the sunshine character is not the sun at high noon, bright and unobstructed, but rather, the sun at twilight, tinged with darkness and teetering on the edge of falling is so good and there's not nearly enough of it with these two. I mean. Listen. People talk about Kallus' poor mental health but that scene in the finale with the shield generator. That wasn't ~noble sacrifice~, that was an attempt and no one talks about it. I mean, he just lost another member of his family and immediately tried to sacrifice himself. He needs to address his own darkness and work through it because he's not doing any better than Kallus.

Zeb sees the light in Kallus and Kallus sees the darkness in Zeb. They need each other.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ little rule breaker ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by anonymous ˚₊ ⊹

ft. the masked officer (+ hwang in-ho +pink guard) x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ the officer taking charge teaches you a lesson for breaking the rules┊2k words

written before season three came out!! may be ooc contains: smut! extreme dubcon/fuck or die basically, legal age gap, pretty misogynistic ngl, hate fucking, degradation & use of the word “whore,” reader is nude while he remains clothed, promiscuous reader, blackmail, canon-typical violence

➤ author's note: this is not stupid anon because i agree!! park hee-soon has always been hot, there need to be more fics for him (this fic kept getting freakier as it progressed, i also think they should have let him grow out his facial hair a little more) (i also know the seok-woo fic won the poll but oh my god the masked officer is hot i hate him but i want him and i can’t wait to see him in s3 but im nervous what hes capable of anyways have fun reading i kinda rushed this)

the rules as a guard are simple, plastered inside every bedroom to memorize each time you wake up and go to bed: always wear your mask outside of your room, do not converse without permission, and do not leave your room without permission. sounds pretty fucking simple, don’t they? even well-behaved preschoolers would be able to follow them without much question, so why are you in your grown-ass age breaking them like the punishment wasn’t execution by firing squad in front of the others to make an example at his command?

it’s as if you don’t have an ounce of respect for him, only beginning to act out now that the frontman has joined the games to keep an eye on a previous winner and passed on the highest position available on the island to him. although it’s only temporary, he’s still holding the title of the boss, and everyone obeys as expected, except for you. 

he’s always had his eye on you— it’s impossible not to when he knew about how you were the frontman’s little secret who would tend to his needs and be his arm candy when needed for the vips. it’s not something that’s well-known among the ranks, and in a way, it makes him even more aware of your presence with the fact that there’s no one else to notice the little ways you get princess treatment: how there’s always a little dessert on your food tray, how your dorm has an extra fluffy pillow and thicker blanket to keep warm, how you were always able to retire earlier than the others to attend to his needs instead of cleaning up your station and tending to your firearms— it drove him absolutely crazy. surely there were others who knew about this? there had to be some guard who was receiving orders to put that stupid pink-frosted cupcake there and was doing your chores for you. for a man who previously hung guards and a player in front of everyone for breaking the rules of equality, the boss sure was willing to throw all that out the window when it came to his little pet.

not like he was much of a stickler for the rules when he was taking part in the underground organ-harvesting scheme, but it boiled his boil to know there was such a guard who didn’t bother to do their job to their fullest capabilities and was receiving unfair treatment merely because his boss couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

it must have been too much of an expectation to assume you wouldn’t share the same sentiment and that you would behave yourself while your master was away. the moment he saw you striking up a conversation with a guard before taking off your mask after hours in the dim light using the live security footage, he should have called you into his office immediately and shot you on sight. these rules weren’t a suggestion, they were the regimen expected to be followed without exception. they were valid grounds to execute you for putting the sacred anonymous promise of the guards at risk and threatening the integrity of the instilled system set more than thirty years ago. 

you weren’t looking to make friends, not with the way you were smiling to him all sweet with that pretty exposed face of yours, preying on the shared feeling of isolation that came with this job. a mere day without hwang in-ho was just too long for your needy self and you were already off looking for someone else to fill the void in bed with you.

it disgusted him to no end. 

of course, the other man wasn’t about to say no to your companionship, what sane man would? he couldn’t hear the whispered details of a rendezvous, but he remained in his seat watching the cameras a bit longer than necessary to catch you breaking the third rule of sneaking out of your room to see the other man when everyone, including the officer watching, was supposed to be asleep. you looked too relaxed strolling down the hallway to enter the other guard’s, almost as if you forgot there was surveillance monitoring every square inch of the building— or almost as if you were relaxed doing so because you thought you weren’t going to get caught.

he didn’t bother sneaking a peek into what you guys were up to when the picture was already regrettably crystal clear in his imagination, but there were also other things running through his mind, notably what on earth was happening behind the scenes for you to have the audacity to break the rules so comfortably without fear of repercussions. if you continued to act out of line like this, it would only be inevitable for their respect for him to dwindle. yet he knew deep down there wasn’t anything he could really do to you that was permanently damaging, not when you were also the frontman’s little secret.

so, making use of his new powers, he decided to find out and call you in for a meeting. 

you were visibly nervous when you stepped into his office, which only heightened when you heard the door ship and lock behind you. he must admit, he likes you a lot more like this, afraid in his presence with your eyes downcast as if he would eat you alive if you dared to look him in the face instead of insolent brat you usually were, flinching at the sound of glass against metal when he placed his liquor on the nearby table next to the lit cigar whose smoke was filling the air. he even found it cute when you started to stutter over your words when he confronted you about your secret meeting the night before, ending up with tears forming at the corners of your eyes when you realized there was nothing you could say to save yourself as you fell on your knees and begged him to spare you. you swore you would never break another rule again, you were too young to die and you still had family back home— you just couldn’t die yet, was there nothing you could do for him to let you off the hook? you were willing to do just about anything.

he realizes what he demanded of you is quite hypocritical of him after looking down on others for their actions driven by lust, but once again, what sane man would say no to a pretty thing like you groveling at his feet? the punishment fits the crime, and he’s sure that you would much prefer being in his lap than having cold metal pressed against your forehead for your final moments. besides, you seem to be enjoying yourself quite fine with the way you’re now crying out in pleasure rather than fear, not giving a damn about anyone nearby who may overhear through the walls and already losing yourself to the feeling of shamelessly fucking the man who threatened to execute you a mere few minutes ago into yourself.

maybe he now understands why all these men are obsessed with you and are willing to break rules risking death for a piece of you. underneath the mask and hot pink jumpsuit that made you indistinguishable from the hundreds of other guards, you’re a tantalizing little minx that could make anyone falter at a single look with those doe eyes. you look so pretty on top of him with those hazy lustful eyes he could drown in, your hair sticking to the sides of your face framing it like a painting, and he found himself unable to resist taking off one of his gloves to feel the soft skin of your thigh against his hand. “stop squirming so much, if you want to act like a whore, you’re going to get treated like one.”

“i can’t help it…” you whined, clearly struggling to keep a consistent pace with an ache forming in your upper legs as you slowly dragged yourself along his length. “won’t you help me, please? it’s too hard…”

the older man scoffed with a roll of his eyes. knowing his boss, you were likely a spoiled pillow princess who never needed to lift a finger while he did all the work— you’ve probably never even rode someone like you were doing now without the help of their hands on your hips (and to think someone like you was regularly handling sniper rifles and firing at losing players like it was nothing, they should really set up more qualifications for your position other than being desperate enough for money to kill).

regardless, he relented, not because he was giving into your pathetic plea but rather because both of you were getting nowhere if it continued like this, grabbing you by the waist and picking you off of him before pinning you to the nearby table to take proper control. you winced at the pain at your back hitting the hard surface and the cold metal against your bare skin, but it was quickly overcome with heat and pleasure as he began roughly thrusting into you, treating you more like a living doll rather than a person with his fingers harshly digging into your flesh and the look of what seemed like contempt in his eyes. you couldn’t really tell if he hated you more or himself more for giving in to temptation, but you could certainly feel his anger with every snap of his hips that made your eyes roll back and could see him scoff at the way you were squeezing his cock with a vice.

god, he hated you. he’s been working for fucking decades like a damn dog needing to show his undying loyalty to the higher-ups to get where he was, but all you had to do was waltz in and fuck your way into the frontman’s good graces. he hadn’t even noticed that his fingers were leaving bruises into your previously unblemished skin until he emptied himself inside of you, letting out a groan and realizing just how pent-up he’s been until now. there was a strange sense of relief now that he’s allowed himself to give into his earthly needs and desires, but not for you, seeing as you were twitching and whimpering under him for your own climax while he remained inside of you. 

then he smiled at you, although you weren’t sure if it was a smile, as it was chilling and made you feel like a scared little child that was too scared of the imaginary monsters in her closet with curled horns and sharp claws. now, the monster was on top of you in the form of a man, holding your life in his hands as he wrapped a threatening hand around your neck and seemed to relish in the fear he was causing. “listen here, you’re going to tell me everything that’s been going on behind the scenes with you and the frontman, or else i’m going to inform him that his precious little pet has been whoring herself out whenever he’s gone. i’m sure that whatever he’ll do to you is worse than whatever i could do when he finds out,” the statement came out of his mouth bitterly, reminding you of the rumor of the inferiority complex the man held with your boss, but he didn’t give you much time to dwell on it. “all you have to do is behave, i’ll keep your secret and i’ll even let you cum, isn’t that nice of me?”

you didn’t think he had a sense of humor, mocking you as if your orgasm was more important than your life at the moment as you nodded desperately. all you wanted to do was leave the room alive with all your limbs and bodily functions intact, but you knew you were going to find yourself alone with him in this exact situation from now on. he wasn’t going to let you free that easily.

request from anonymous

this is really stupid but the hot guard from episode 5 has zero people writing for him. and i understand why, he’s a bad guy who cornered noeul- but i LOVE psycho evil men so if you would want to, please write for him

[stubz]

'Tired. Hungry. Wannagohome. Wannasleepbutneedtodochores. Howmuchtimeisleft?WhatifIpulledthefirealarmtogohomeearly?Capwouldn'tbethatmad-' the human's mind whirled as hunger and exhaustion took over all her senses. Being tired was something Kim was used to but hunger is always hard to ignore. Why did she choose sleeping in over packing a lunch???

Although tired and borderline ravenous with hunger the human diligently watched the younglings as they played in the park. Every part of her still functioning brain was doing it's best to focus on the children's movements and surroundings.

Look out for suspicious individuals, look out for any child doing something stupid, head count, look out for any parents coming to pick up, repeat.

'Maxcomedistractme. Kidsdistractme. NononoI'llsnapatthemfromhanger. Hangertoodangerousrightnow. Sohungrysohungrysofu-'

"Miss Kim look at my pet!" smiled Athea bringing over what looked like a giant wolf boar thing. Some of the other little ones came with her and Kim could see Fenrir walking over with a warm smile.

"They're so big and fluffy! What's their name?" Kim smiled doing her best to keep down the hanger.

While the little orc talked all about her pet the human couldn't help but have her mind drift off. Nods and hums of approval was all the human could say without fear of giving into the hanger. The wolf boar thing's fur was all that kept the human grounded, petting it like it held the secrets to the universe in its fur...god she was hungry.

"-here's a treat miss Kim!" a large cracker like object is placed into the human's hand. A treat. Food.

She eats it in one bite without even looking at it.

It's salty, meaty, crunchy, a little stale, but not bad. Texture is strange though for a cracker or maybe its a biscuit, either way the hanger is now manageable enough for her to talk.

"Mm, what is this? Biscuit-gmph?!" Fenrir grabs her by the face and shoves his hand into her mouth.

"SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT KIM!!!" the orc yells sweeping through her mouth like a full of rage dentist.

"SHE ALREADY ATE IT UNCLE!" screams Athea already behind the human ready to do the Heimlich.

"Oh my god-WHAT DID SHE EAT THIS TIME?!" shouts Max drawn in by the commotion.

'what the f#ck did I eat???' is all that goes through the poor human's head.

.

After nearly making her throw up via the spine crushing heimlich Athea performed, some more rummaging through her mouth and gums, and some human/orc diet comparisons Kim was finally declared in the clear by a nurse who was going for a walk in the park.

Said human was now hunched over holding her stomach from her new bruises. And sipping a juice box so generously given to her by one of the younglings who wanted to cheer her up after the whole ordeal.

"I am so sorry love I should have asked you if humans could eat boglin liver...or the equivalent of it like your pig." the orc apologized rubbing her back soothingly.

"Not your fault Fen, it's this idiot's fault for not asking what she's eating." frowned Max. "Seriously, how did you not even bother to look at it? If you did then you'd see that it looks like a dog treat and that would've stopped you." he scolds handing her a granola bar.

"I've been classically conditioned!"

"...what?? By who??"

"My dad! So blame him!"

"...what is classically conditioned and why did your father do it to you love?"

"Basically you train a person or animal to do something. You say a word or make a noise as they do something then give them a reward, usually food, and eventually after a long enough time each time they hear the thing they'll just do the action. Like teaching a pet commands."

"...your father treated you like a pet?!" roars the enraged orc.

"Nonono! My dad loves me! He just called everything I liked a treat! Chocolate milk, treat, pineapple, treat, favorite dinner, treat!"

"...oh so when Athea said 'here's a treat' you thought it was food you would like?" Max asked.

"Exactly! See? My dad loves me, like a person!" Kim assured her very angry giant orc.

"...I understand...but please have less blind trust in the word 'treat' as not everything is safe for humans to eat." he sighs giving her a hug.

"Honestly she'd probably be fine no matter what. She's a raccoon."

"I...cannot argue against that."

"I do not know what that is but I will assume that it is a creature that eats hazardous things and garbage. Much like you my little love."

"Again I cannot argue against that."

[diabolichare]

(4/?)

The next day, the Terrans are with Bumblebee while Tfe goes to the meeting with the Autobot High Command (It was quite a shock when the seeker basically dumped the kids with the yellow scout then left). They're the center of attention, everyone is friendly overall and very interested in the first sparklings they've seen in ages. But the Terrans were getting uncomfortable, luckily Bumblebee steered them away to somewhere else more quiet.

They get to watch soap operas with the Autobots and play old videos, they have a great time. The Terrans talk about technology in their time, and what they usually do back home for fun. Hashtag mentioned Bumblebee being much taller in the future, so the scout asks more about his relationship with them. The kids think back to what Tfe Starscream told them, as long as it's not about the Emberstone it should be fine right? (completely forgetting the future part)

So they gave some vague stories about Tfe Bumblebee being their mentor, teaching them. And some more stories about their siblings. Everyone is invested. Then someone asked about their "sire". The trio quieted down, sharing glances. This makes the bots suspicious.

"What's wrong? Do your parents have strange rules about talking to strangers? You can tell us"

"No not that, our parents love us. It's just that Starscream doesn't like them much. But we're working on it!" (What does that even mean)

"There's this human organization called GHOST, that worked with the Autobots to catch and imprison Decepticons to "protect" Earth. But they were actually experimenting on their prisoners. Starscream, still won't tell us what happened just that it was Shockwave's level of bad?" (What)

"The humans were involved with our birth actually. Starscream didn't really want us at first but Hashtag managed to get through him so here we are! Now most of the time he is down in Nightshade's lab doing nerd stuff with them and Dad 2" (The Autobots are starting to get not very good feelings about how this story is going. Also who is Dad 2???)

The conversation stops when the Terrans see Tfe Starscream arriving, the kids circle him telling him about their day and all of these things the Autobots show them. The seeker goes along with their stories, ooh and aah while steering them to a table and dug around in his subspace to give them some snacks (barely bothered by the loud cheers or the fact that Hashtag is like a limpet attached to his leg). He spared a glance at the frozen Autobots who were giving him strange looks. Tfe Starscream is pulled back to the kids when the kids continue to talk about the soap operas they are watching.

The Autobots who were listening (eavesdropping) to the conversation - plus Ravage who was in the vent - are now horrified by the implications of how the sparklings came to be and Tfe Starscream's situation.

Prev/Next

[graylinesspam]

My favorite Cody&Ahsoka dynamic is when Cody genuinely likes Ahsoka and fucking hates Anakin.

I love the idea of Marshall Commander Cody having to suffer through the long year of the clone wars that Anakin was still a padawan under General Kenobi. Having to deal with Anakin's insaburdinate over dramatic ass every force forsaken day.

Never able to have a single one of his meticulously coordinated plans actually get executed properly because inevitably Skywalker would fuck it up by doing what ever the hell he wants to do. And not even bother to let anyone else know when he was doing it.

And Cody is so damn relieved when he's promoted and finally out if the 212th. But he's still not quite gone because he's always freaking there. With the 501st, still getting in the way.

But when Ahsoka shows up. Not only is she actually intelligent, but she's 1000% down with conspiring to undermine her master. And after way too long dealing with Skywalker's "Tactics" Cody finally has some direct sway within the 501st. Bc he has an inside man.

Anakin walks out if a mission debrief after spewing the most batshit nonsense that Cody has ever heard in his short (but getting longer every fucking day) life. And Cody turns to Ahsoka who's already grinning at him like a lothcat about to knock a glass off the counter.

"So what are we actually doing?"

Then Cody gets to pull up his proper holodiagrams and coordinate at least her half of the mission and Ahsoka's just stoked that someone is actually taking the time to sit down and teach her actually military tactical movements. The kind that the clones have studied for years.

And anytime Anakin bitches about them not following the plan Ahsoka hits him with his own lines. "Well made plans rarely last past first contact, Master." or "I followed the plan. Up until the circumstances changed." or "We needed a more aggressive touch."

The same passive-aggressive smug bullshit Cody had to put up with during Anakin's exceedingly long year as a commander.

And by the end of the war Ahsoka has a bonkers mix of studiously acquired historical military education, and the half-outlined manic planning patterns of Anakin Skywalker. Which is why she's basically untouchable in all combat scenarios.

Because no matter how much you know about militant tactics she probably knows more. And if she doesn't she will just say fuck it and resort to some Skywalker bullshit.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7.5

(not a real chapter, i just decided to keep analyzing until i hit some kind of satisfying conclusion)

this is a special episode of "sam reads capri," in which i comment a bit more on chapter 7 so i can hopefully move forward and evaluate chapter 8 without constantly getting stuck on 7 again.

update after making the additional commentary: holy fuck, i think i solved it. to my satisfaction, at least. i'm really glad i did this.

i have noticed that capri chapters are often self-contained in terms of themes. like, the scenes that are stitched together are done so for a reason. in the case of chapter 7, this is especially interesting. we get the laurent slave stuff, the party, and then the intense lamen argument on the field where auguste died. at first i was almost annoyed that these two situations were put next to each other, because the laurent slave stuff bothered me so much. but then i began to wonder WHY they weren't separated into different chapters. what do they have in common, both thematically and in terms of my personal reading experience? to figure it out, i first have to summarize what happens even each individual scene of the chapter. here are my findings:

chapter 7 scene 1

damen and laurent approach marlas with their combined army. have some super awkward and stunted dialogue about staying in separate apartments. damen has an opportunity to reference a snarky joke, but doesn't. there is so much distance and hesitation, especially compared to their previous dynamic in prince's gambit (they shared a tent like every night and spoke very closely) and even captive prince (they hated each other so they just kinda said whatever the fuck). damen is extremely apprehensive about interacting with laurent in any kind of meaningful or personal way, and is very consciously restraining himself, as well as being restrained by his role as king.

chapter 7 scene 2

inside the fort, damen and laurent are immediately jumpscared by a hallway of slaves. like right in front of my salad. damen, who has already been experiencing massive discomfort and disgust with his own nation's customs, of which he briefly was a victim, continues to turn the slaves down. this is seen as disrespectful, but he's the king of akielos, so it's fine. laurent, meanwhile, seems not even to hesitate before stepping forward and choosing a slave like a kid in a pet shop ("i like that one"). the slave, isander, very obviously looks like damen, which damen notices immediately. laurent asks a little more about the customs of slavery, like the first night, and makes eye contact with damen as he says that he never got to command his previous bed slave (damen). then he asks the slave keeper to teach him how. the keeper says the slave doesn't speak veretian, but "to command any act of service is to honor a slave. the more personal the service, the greater the honor." aka: "he wants you to boss him around." laurent says "really?" and has isander come over, has him kiss his boot how damen had once (reluctantly) done, except isander is totally into it. laurent praises isander, isander's happy, and it makes everyone around them pleased, because the veretian prince is engaging with akielon customs. damen meanwhile has a salty thought about these people being stupid for thinking laurent would actually use the slave as intended, or even respect their customs, because there's no way laurent would actually fuck that guy, or any of these slaves. and damen would be better at undressing laurent anyway. laurent then has to get one more dig in, asking if isander can serve him in the baths, famously (between damen and laurent) a place where damen was embarrassingly turned on by his own attraction to laurent and punished for it. and laurent also says he's pleased by the idea of isander serving him at the party, also something damen did in arles. so basically, laurent just chose a slave that looked exactly like damen, gave him all the praise and affection he didn't give past slave damen and certainly not present king damen, promised a rebound speedrun of their greatest hits at arles in front of damen, all with complete composure and the plausible deniability of diplomacy.

chapter 7 scene 3

damen does not feel like this is a homecoming. the slaves make him uncomfortable. he is acutely aware of laurent in the queen's chambers to his king's chambers, and imagines isander tending to him (but not as well as damen could). he specifically imagines isander being asked to the baths, being flushed with pride to be of service, and then damen curls his hands into fists and thinks about politics instead.

damen arrives at the function to see laurent looking cunty as ever with isander beneath him, being affectionate and shameless and vulnerable. laurent calls damen "brother" as he approaches, knowing damn well that damen is not thinking of brotherly things at the moment. damen feels supremely awkward in his seat next to laurent, without his own slaves, and the awareness of everyone in the room that he'd once been the slave at laurent's feet. one of his generals then questions damen's loyalty to akielos and implies that he's doing favors for laurent because of their sexual relationship. damen just goes straight to denial and dismissal, but laurent decides to show off his cuff and own the fact that he tapped that, damen was his slave, even though damen is the guy who killed his brother. so people really should not fuck with laurent, or question their leadership. it seems to work, and earn him the respect of the generals. food comes out, damen awkwardly feeds himself and the arrangement displeases everyone. damen observes that isander, who is feeding laurent by hand, is clearly in love with him. this, we can assume, is not unrelated to the fact that damen started catching feelings for laurent back in book 2 when he fed laurent by hand. laurent asks a slave to play damen's favorite song, which mentions a guy killing another guy to take his city and has the word "brother" in it. laurent somehow knows this is damen's favorite, perhaps informed by the slaves, who have played it many times for damen before. damen doesn't want to hear it now. damen watches jord tells loyse, aimeric's mom, that he's sorry for her loss, which she gives diplomatic "token attention" despite the very personal nature of the situation. this is similar to damen and laurent's earlier strained interactions. damen then summons jord over for a conversation that basically amounts to jord saying "laurent knew who you were the whole time? damn that's crazy. wild that he really trusted you anyway, because he definitely still did. and he didn't trust anyone else before that, so you must have really been special." damen of course chooses this moment to look over at laurent, who is now basically cuddling isander as isander feeds him grapes, playing with isander's not-unlike-damen's curly hair. damen considers isander to be "a prince's new favorite." everyone starts leaving the party have sex with their slaves (i hate it here) and laurent does the same gesture with isander. damen remembers that time torveld told him, laurent's slave, that he (torveld) was jealous, and would trade places in a heartbeat. damen then excuses himself to chase laurent, but only finds a very confused isander, who says that laurent immediately abandoned him to take a ride once the crowd stopped looking. damen knows that laurent has gone to the field where his brother died to clear his troubled head, and follows.

chapter 7 scene 4

damen arrives at the field. laurent is there, more vulnerable than usual in terms of his clothing. laurent is surprised to see damen there for a split second, but then ices over. damen says that he thought laurent might want a friend, and we know that it's because jord unintentionally reminded damen that he's the only person laurent has let himself get close to since auguste's death, even though he's the guy who killed auguste. damen knows this isn't an easy place for laurent to be and wants to support him, even if it's awkward. he knows nobody else can support laurent, the way he can. laurent, meanwhile, says they can fuck if damen wants, and insists that he knows damen does. that it's all he really wants. laurent tries to goad him into admitting it, and damen tries to talk to laurent about his feelings about auguste. laurent deflects again and damen accepts that they're not having the auguste conversation right now. he earnestly admits that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about having sex with laurent. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke, damen is earnest again, although he does say jokingly that laurent fucked like a virgin. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke again, damen is earnest again again, adding that laurent also fucked like "you knew what you were used to." this particular earnest comment hits on laurent's sexual trauma with his uncle, although damen doesn't know it. laurent tells damen that he (laurent) can't take damen's "particular brand of honesty right now." damen earnestly tries to reassure laurent that he really did like sleeping with him, even if he (laurent) was inexperienced. laurent shoots back that damen would oh my god i get it. wait. i understand the chapter. I UNDERSTAND THE CHAPTER.

laurent says "you like it simple." in response to damen admitting that he liked sleeping with laurent, even though he's not that good at sex. "YOU LIKE IT SIMPLE" MEANS SLAVERY. laurent is referring to the things he's learned about akeilon slaves, things we heard him ask about earlier in the chapter: the first night, the fact that simply giving them a command is to honor them, the fact that they know and can play damen's favorite song by heart. laurent is referring to the simplicity of romancing/loving/fucking a person who has been trained to be romanced, loved, and fucked. a slave who "[knows] what [their masters are] used to." a person who isn't a real person at all. laurent has been observing how this system works all night, and this is him fully expressing his disdain in the most personal way possible. his disdain for akielon slavery, for his assumption of damen's preferences, and in a way, for himself. laurent knows that he could never be an simple option for damen, just how damen spent so much of this chapter holding himself back because knows he isn't an simple option for laurent. nothing about them is simple, in the way things are for a master and a slave. they can't be, and they shouldn't be.

but still... damen and laurent, in this scene, both wish things could be different from how they are. they wish things could be simpler, sweeter, so they could truly fit into each other's lives. but laurent has to be a cold bitch, in order to prove himself in his position. he can't very well say that he and damen wear those cuffs because they belong to each other. and honestly, i don't even think laurent believes that damen wants him, beyond him being a good fuck, as evidenced by the way he greets damen in this scene. being around isander probably made laurent feel insecure, knowing that isander is the kind of person damen fucks for recreation. laurent's proposition was basically a characteristically aggressive, control-freak way for laurent to offer his submission, because he thinks that's all damen really wants. i'm quoting sharp objects again: "sometimes when you let someone do something to you, you're really doing it to them." it's a twisted reflection of the "purity" of akielon slavery, much more similar to the dynamic i think we can assume that laurent had with the regent. and that's really all laurent is used to, besides damen.

four words. "you like it simple." and the entire chapter makes sense. the reason why this scene was in this chapter, juxtaposed with the slavery theme, makes sense. laurent's morals make sense, even if he's still functionally a hypocrite. laurent is protective of victims, people he sees as helpless and powerless and wounded. technically, isander is helpless and powerless, and a victim of the akielon slavery system. but laurent doesn't see isander, the individual, as a powerless, helpless, wounded victim. both because he's well-cared for and perfectly happy in his ignorance, incompatible with the image of "victim" laurent sees in his younger self and nicaise, and because deep down, laurent is jealous of isander too.

damen's response to those four words, "you like it simple," originally felt like an overreaction to me. but now i think i better understand what it means. All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.”

the "that" is slavery. both the practice in general, and laurent's assumption based on his new knowledge about the practice. damen saw laurent learn about the first night, and the proper method of commanding a bed slave. and damen knows that laurent knows he's been sleeping with slaves since he was a teenager. so logically, damen's reaction is to the realization that laurent thinks that damen fucked him as if he was a slave, and not a person. imagining him as a pretty object, groomed and submissive, noticeably and shamefully falling short where he is inexperienced. just like the regent.

which explains laurent's reaction, too, with the shallow breating. being around the slaves and isander and marlas must have made laurent more upset than he let on—about damen, about his trauma with the regent, about auguste—and he's only letting himself and feel and express it all now.

damen then makes himself change subjects, back to auguste. because talking about laurent's brother who he killed is somehow less complicated than their sex life. damen tries to reassure laurent that it was a fair fight and auguste wasn't in pain. laurent, unsurprisingly, responds with a taunt/joke.

horses pass by. laurent asks if damen sent them, damen says no. they find themselves in the same exact position they'd been in when they had their first night of true familiarity and companionship, in nesson-elroy. this part of the lamen greatest hits speedrun, they do themselves. the first time where damen felt not like a slave, but like laurent's equal partner. after laurent emptily re-enacting all of those kinky arles moments with isander, this is the thing that's too sacred to be done by anyone but the two of them. pressing up against each other in the midst of an adventure, free from the expectations of their true identities, barely able to contain the emotion between them. oh my god am i tearing up? i'm tearing up.

they pull away and damen tells laurent he isn't cold. damen knows he isn't cold. laurent wasn't cold when he tortured damen out of vengeful rage for the brother he loved, and laurent wasn't cold when he made love with his brother's killer. earnest, as ever. correct and they both know it.

laurent says they have to leave because of the riders, and then walks the conversation back to something damen said earlier, about it being a fair fight with auguste: "a fair fight? no fight's ever fair. someone's always stronger." and they leave.

laurent believes that everything is a power struggle, with one person in control and another person submitting. the strong and the weak, simple as that. this belief extends to intimacy and sex, which makes sense given laurent's sexual history and the veretian court. however, throughout the series we constantly see laurent's cynical outlook clashing with damen's earnest determination to act honorably. which makes the fact that laurent is the one against slavery between them, and damen is the one who has historically happily partaken, deeply ironic. and it makes it even clearer to damen that, to laurent, not only did he kill auguste—but he also made auguste look like the weaker man, adding insult to injury.

laurent never wants to be the weaker man, but also believes that people like himself—people who are decidedly not simple or trained into submission, who refuse to make themselves vulnerable because that would make them victims—can never truly be loved. so he'll choose to settle for being fuckable instead, and that choice gives him control. that's... that's probably why he didn't tell damen the truth about what he knew, in prince's gambit. because laurent assumed that if he was his real self, in his true complicated unsweet nature, damen wouldn't have wanted him in the same way, or at all. and just like jord said, damen was the only person laurent could trust.

damen wants to believe that things can be simple; not in the cynical way laurent implied, but in a way that's entirely earnest and vulnerable. he wants to be able to love and be loved without needing to prove himself the stronger man. he doesn't want to hold back, or follow customs, or be with a partner who is trained to get everything right. he wants someone real—the entire person, not just a body to fuck. he wants adventure and inside jokes, to be a not-slave but not-not-a-slave. he wants nesson-elroy, not arles or marlas. he wants to belong to laurent because he chooses to belong to laurent, and he wants laurent to choose him back.

either i totally just nailed this chapter analysis the second time around, or i overthought so hard that i came up with an entire unintended interpretation and made myself tear up about it. either way, good game, chapter 7. now i feel like i can move on.

[oletus-writer]

Joseph NSFW alphabet please? 🙇‍♀️🙏

Sorry that this took a while

Joseph NSFW Aphabet

Warnings: nsfw

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

He’s a bit lazier, and will not do much more than lie beside you, brush your hair from your face, and languidly express how important to you are, some parts being in french.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

What doesn’t he like about you? It’s less of a certain body part, but moreso the way you hold yourself, your presentation, and the air that you command when you step into the room. It’s the little things that photography can’t seem to capture, no matter how skilled the photographer (although he’d never admit it). He likes his own face, his own body, provided it doesn’t have the cracks that he finds ever-present in his matches.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn’t have a lot of cum, and prefers to cum on your stomach and back. He kind of wants you to cum on his face and leave him to lick it off himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to experiment with a monster dildo and feel how it stretches him, how he barely manages to fit it in his mouth. He wants you to watch on coldly, as he rides the toy, and perhaps take a photo or two.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

He was raised in a wealthy household in the late 1700s, so it’s no sex before marriage for him. You’ll have to teach him everything.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

As he has no experience, he’s not well-versed in sex positions. He would enjoy the face-off position, as he gets to see the lovely expressions you’re making.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s not one to crack jokes in sex, and a lot of the ones he makes in general are pertaining to the French language.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

His pubic hair is a nice colour of white-blond, and is more sparse and thin than anything. He spends some time grooming, as I refuse to acknowledge that back then they thought perfuming was equivalent to bathing. He’d prefer if you also trimmed your hair, as he wants you to take care of yourself.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

He’s a very intimate and romantic man, both in and out of sex. Expect body worship and praises, mainly in French.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

Since he was unable to have sex before marriage, he’s pretty skilled at masturbating to relieve stress or sexual frustrations. He had read some erotica when he was younger, so he enjoys edging himself to simulate the feeling of having sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Mirrored sex, photographed sex, hair pulling, praise… it’s not much of a list, and is pretty vanilla. There’s no knife kink, no blood kink, as he doesn’t take much pleasure in hurting survivors in matches, let alone his lover.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

While the bedroom is preferred, as it is safe, he would be lying if he said he didn’t fantasise fucking you in his darkroom. However, he would never do it, let alone suggest such thing, as there are many chemicals and photographs that are processing, and he’s afraid to knock something over or accidentally hurt you. Besides, he’s been told it smells bad in there.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

Put an arm around his waist, let your touch linger, call him pretty boy. He’s not so perverted that if you accidentally flash him or fall in a provocative situation that he would be turned on.

N = No (what turns them off?)

I’m not even going to bother to mention scat at this point (can you tell I hate it?), so Joseph’s turn-offs would include things along the lines of infidelity, such as cucking.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

He prefers receiving oral, as it is a bit of a blow to his pride when he’s on his knees pleasuring you while you pull his hair and call him a good slut. He’s rather average at giving oral - nothing too fancy, just the things that one might expect a beginner to do.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

He prefers to go slow, thrusting long and deep and kissing you every time he does, but he can’t deny that fucking your brains out isn’t an appealing idea.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

It’s a bit of a new concept, and he doesn’t really understand it. Why have a quickie when you could just do the whole thing? Not to mention the fact that one might be in a public place when doing such thing.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

He’s willing to experiment, as long as it is within his comfort zone. He won’t cut corners when it comes to risks and puts your health before his sexual needs.

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

Give the old man a break. Sure, his body is young, but he’s unable to last more than one round, whether it be him topping or bottoming.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

He does not own toys but is welcome for them to be introduced into his sex life.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

Joseph enjoys teasing both you and himself. It spices things up, and it’s always a welcome sight when you’re begging for his cock with tears in your eyes.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

He tries his best to suppress his moans at first, but he doesn’t manage for long. They’re effeminate and not too loud, a heavenly sound in an otherwise godless act.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

While he’s not one for public or semi-public sex, he enjoys the feeling of doing something he shouldn’t. And while he’s not homophobic, he did grow up in a homophobic society, and would enjoy the adrenaline of kissing a guy.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

His dick is a bit on the smaller and thinner side, about 4 inches (10.2 cm).

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a bit low of a sex drive, as he is too old for this, and preoccupied with his photography and the matches for him to think about having sex.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He falls asleep rather quickly after giving you appropriate aftercare, as his body is rather weak and he gets tired quickly. He wishes to stay awake long enough for him to see your beauty while you rest, but he’s much too old for that.

[faulty-writes]

heyyy do you think you can write more knight!iida x princess!reader please 🌺🌺

[ Hello dear anon! *Takes flowers* I can most certainly make more Knight!Tenya x Princess!Reader content. I hope you enjoy it, this was so much fun to write. Since I love Tenya this has a somewhat romantic end to it. The summary is below the banner. ]

[ Summary: The Kingdom of Yuuei has many wonders, but none was more fascinating to you than Tenya Iida, a young knight serving under the royal family. As the Princess, you were far too used to getting what you desired, this included demanding he teach you the ways of swordsmanship. Unfortunately, this training session results in an injured ankle, and he insists on caring for you. ]

You cried out when his sword collided with yours, and your feet desperately dug into the ground to steady yourself. However, this was of no use as Tenya continued to push you back intent on following your orders despite them clashing with his own morals.

As a knight, it was his duty to serve and protect the kingdom, its citizens, and its rulers. This, of course, included you. The fair princess. He had grown to know you well throughout these many years serving the kingdom, and as such, he understood your fierce and yet kind nature.

You were very caring and always did what was within your power to help your citizens. But they did not know of the determined and chaotic side that demanded outrageous and furthermore dangerous requests like him teaching you swordsmanship.

While he agreed that everyone should know the basics of self-defense, it was a knight’s job to ensure that the kingdom was always protected no matter what evil arose to challenge it. Obviously, he couldn’t refuse a command given to him by a member of the royal family.

However, he tried to convince you there was no need to learn how to defend yourself. This is because he vowed to never allow harm to come to you, or so he thought. Unfortunately, you weren’t convinced and refused to listen to his logic and reason.

Eventually, you threatened to throw him into the dungeon if you did not get your way. This would effectively end his knighthood and his goal of becoming Grand Commander as his eldest brother was. So, with some regret, training began.

Despite your swordsmanship skills improving over the past few weeks, Tenya refused to use his full strength against you. This, of course, bothered you given that during training sessions with his fellow knights, he was quick on his feet and defeated them with intense fury.

You wanted fair and equal treatment. Just because you were royal didn’t mean you couldn’t hold your own or at least try to. “Pardon?” he asked, lifting his helmet visor. You crossed your arms and impatiently tapped your foot against the ground.

“As Princess of the Yuuei Kingdom, I order you to use the extension of your strength against me,” you explained with an unhappy scowl. Tenya frowned knowing there was an increased chance of injury if he didn't hold back. However, he was not willing to lose his position nor was he in the mood for another one of your idle threats.

He removed his helmet and knelt down. One hand was pressed against his chest plate, while the other was pressed against the ground to steady himself. “Very well, Your Highness,” he replied, “I shant hold back,” and he was true to his word.

‘Damn it,’ you clenched your jaw. He was like a mountain, unable and unwilling to move. The sun shined down on both of you, causing sweat to drip down your forehead and neck. It also shined off Tenya’s armor which somehow looked new and polished.

However, he was known for taking care of his armor and often spent hours cleaning it. This was because of his insistence that “a knight must always look proper and in accordance with the royal family.” The fact that he was without a helmet was a distraction.

Even with dirt patches coloring his skin and sweat dripping down his face, he was handsome. His hair stuck to his skin, giving him an animalistic appearance. This was only intensified by his glistening red eyes, which were slit in anger and determination.

You briefly looked over your shoulder, noticing that you were inching closer to the end of the training ground marked with wooden poles connected with a sturdy rope. You refused to be thrown over that makeshift fence, despite knowing you were going to lose.

You tightened your grip on your sword and used all your strength to move Tenya’s sword to the side. The sound of metal scraping together echoed through the air and your arms trembled without the weight of the other sword to hold yours up.

The relief you felt only lasted for a few seconds before Tenya brought his arm back and clashed his sword against yours in a sideways swipe. You stumbled back, only to feel your foot get caught on something and pain shoot through your ankle when you hit the ground.

You didn’t see or hear where your sword landed. However, you heard Tenya drop his and immediately kneel by your side. “Princess!” he exclaimed in a panic, angry at himself for following through with your orders despite not having a choice. You groaned, slowly pushing yourself up.

“Are you injured?” he questioned, glancing at your body. Your once white dress was now stained with dirt and your hair was a tangled mess. The tiara that normally rested atop your head was now lying in a patch of grass, some ways from where you had fallen.

“My ankle...hurts” you hissed behind clenched teeth, trying to ignore the pain. “Pardon, but I would favor examining your ankle in order to assess the type of injury or damage that has occurred. This will determine which kind of medical attention you require.”

You glared at him but knew you didn't have the right to be angry because he followed through with your orders. Still, you hadn’t expected to get hurt, at least not like this. You frowned and hesitantly moved your hand away.

“I believe it would be best to remove your shoe, Your Highness,” he suggested. “May I have permission to do so?” he asked, and you frowned in response. Your fingers curled into the dirt beneath you and with a huff, you said, “Fine.” He nodded and grasped your ankle with one hand.

He ensured to keep his grip loose but firm as he took your shoe off with his opposite hand. You winced and pulled your leg back. Although it was a normal reaction to want to get away from the source of pain, he tightened his grip and finished removing your shoe. He then tossed it to the side.

You continued to wince, trembling as more pain coursed through your ankle causing your toes to curl. “Apologies,” he did not wish to cause you more harm but knew it was necessary. You growled in response but said nothing as he lowered your ankle onto his knee.

Each touch of his gloved fingertips brought a small jolt of agony, but you clenched your jaw to silence any further whimpers. “You appear to have some swelling and the skin around your ankle is red indicating possible future bruising,” he explained, making you pout. “Oh good,” you said sarcastically, making him knit his eyebrows.

“Forgive me, Your Highness, ecchymosis is not something one usually finds happiness in as it's bleeding that occurs under the skin due to trauma, and in some cases, can be a rather serious condition.” He was as sincere as ever and somehow it was annoying and endearing at the same time.

You looked at him monotonously. Your eyebrows were lowered, and your lips were pressed out in a thin line. “May I carry you to your bed chamber? I believe that would be the most appropriate place as you are in need of a change of clothes.” You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes.

“After which, I will tend to your injured ankle,” he said before placing his hand on his chest and bowing his head. “Are you saying you want to undress me?” you asked, teasing him. But as usual, your jokes flew over his head or were completely ignored. “Please allow me this honor to redeem the injury I have caused to you.”

Despite the slightest flush washing over your cheeks, you were used to being treated like a flower. People were afraid to touch you in fear of your petals wilting, although this was typical for those lucky or unfortunate enough to be born into royalty.

While Tenya kept this in mind, he was not afraid to touch you or argue with you. This made him different from most of the Kingdom’s population and was one of the reasons you were drawn to him. You spread your arms out so that he can carry you as requested.

He carefully removed your ankle from his knee, laying it gently back on the ground. Then he placed one arm underneath your legs and leaned over. He allowed you to wrap your arms around his neck before placing his opposite arm behind your back.

His armor clinked when he stood up, but he didn’t appear to have trouble lifting you. The sound of his metal boots against the grass brought you comfort, and you stared at him the closer you got to the castle. Like before, you thought he looked handsome.

From his dark, undercut hair to his sharp jawline. “Hm…” you reached up and threaded your fingers through that hair. He tensed up but continued walking and glanced at you. “Please refrain, Your Highness,” he said, making you pout again. While he knew you wouldn't listen, public displays of affection were not permitted.

Especially given the difference in social status between you two. He could feel your glare burning a hole through him and assumed you were unhappy that he had refused your touch. “Knight Iida,” you said, trying to sound as sweet as possible which caught his attention yet again.

He stopped and after a few moments of hesitation, he replied “Yes, Your Highness?” You smiled and threaded your hands through his hair again. This made him frown but he remained still as you had yet to give him an order or tell him what you intended.

Your hand continued brushing through his hair, making him tremble in response. “Your Highness, I am about to resume walking,” he stated. Yet again showing his willingness to disregard certain rules or orders from you such as not moving until told to do so.

“Wait a minute,” you protested, but he ignored you. “Fine,” you replied, grasping the top of his chest plate to pull yourself up and kiss his cheek. Although it tasted of salt, sweat, and dirt. He stopped again, clenching his jaw to avoid shouting your name.

His face was flustered, and he looked at you with wide, yet still angry eyes. You snickered, finding his reaction amusing. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger as he knew acting solely on emotions was dangerous. “Please do not do that,” he stated.

His voice deepened and a serious tone accompanied it. “It’s not appropriate behavior for one of royal status to partake in nor is public affection proper social behavior for anyone to display,” he explained. “Why should I care about proper behavior?” you asked, rolling your eyes.

“I’m just thanking my royal knight for everything he does for me,” you said, brushing your fingers along his cheek. “If the King and Queen witnessed their daughter treating one of the lower classes in such an affectionate manner, it would surely cause a problematic situation. I do not believe I would favor that.”

You frowned at his words, feeling both angered and ashamed, not of your actions, but rather of the belief that royals were above others. Everyone should be treated equally, regardless of their social status. You thought Tenya of all people would realize that.

“Mm…” You frowned but chose not to address it further. Instead, you rested your head on his shoulder as he resumed walking. His eyes widened when he saw Tenya carrying you. “I-Iida!” he shouted, running up to him. “Greetings Midoriya,” he stated.

“I was worried when Your H-Highness ran off! The King and Q-Queen were too. Where was she!?” he frantically asked ignoring how you glared at him. Izuku was your valet and assisted you with whatever you needed. You knew he was of the lower class as well.

He had originally wanted to become part of the knighthood as Tenya was. However, he didn’t quite fit the requirements and was given the option of caring for you instead. Some may say that’s more challenging than being a knight.

“I’m afraid that is my own fault. I insisted that I overlook Your Highness’s self-defense training. However, the session ended early due to an injury,” he explained, and worry immediately enveloped Izuku’s features.

“Injury!?” he exclaimed, and you leaned forward, shushing him. “You have the biggest mouth!” you hissed, not wanting the whole damn kingdom to make a fuss just because you hurt your ankle. “Uh, u-um,” he flushed and bowed. “I-I’m sorry, Your Highness, I just um…” He glanced to the side, trying to stop his panicked thoughts.

“I-is there anything you need? I c-can get it for you while you continue to t-tend to the Princess!” he offered, leaning back up and looking at Tenya with determination. It almost saddened him that Izuku hadn’t been considered knight material.

He imagined that if given the chance, he would be a worthy knight. You growled softly, annoyed by Izuku’s words. He was an excellent example of one of the many people who treated you like a flower. He worried about every small scrape and bump you received.

“Thank you, Midoriya,” Tenya replied. “I would favor a wash basin, preferably with warm water if available,” Izuku nodded, continuing to listen. “I believe I will also require two washcloths,” he explained. “R-right!” the green-haired boy replied, you could never fathom why he was so shy around others.

“I’ll b-be back!” he promised and Tenya smiled as he watched him disappear down the hallway. “Can we go to my room now?” you asked flatly. “Yes, Your Highness,” he replied, and a rush of relief came when he opened the door to your bed chamber.

As expected, it was large and spacious. Natural light filled the room thanks to the large windows on the opposite side which were decorated with purple silky drapes. Outside said windows, one could see the beautiful courtyard and flower garden.

The walls were painted white with gold trim. A large white wardrobe with diamond-shaped handles and elegant carvings was next to your bed which was constructed of an equally as elegant bed frame with a large canopy. Much like the wardrobe, it too had carvings.

The only difference was that they resembled flowers, as absurd as that was. The bed itself was covered in silky white and purple sheets and blankets. A mountain of pillows was piled against the headboard, each specially crafted for maximum comfort and arranged in an array of colors.

He carefully sat you down on the edge of your bed and stepped back, the sound of his armor clanking echoed through your room. Once again, he pressed a hand against his chest and kneeled before you. Unlike the many others who bowed at your feet, your heart raced when he did.

Of course, that was understandable considering he was one of the more attractive individuals within your kingdom. “I am going to select another article of clothing for you,” he knew that was normally the job of your lady’s maid, Uraraka Ochako, who happened to be another one of his close friends.

She too was of the lower class and wore patched-up clothing when not working. He understood that she had originally been dismissed when she fell at the King and Queen’s feet and begged them for a job so she could support her parents.

It was only because of your persistence that you convinced them to make her your lady's maid. She helped you with dressing, make-up, and hair care. She also kept your room neat and tidy. Tenya assumed she was absent because, like Izuku, she was ordered to find your whereabouts.

In any case, you needed to remove your dirty clothing as it was improper for royalty to have such an unpleasant appearance. “Hmm?” You tilted your head. “But I-” You leaned up, making the mistake of moving your injured ankle, and hissed when another jolt of pain came.

Tenya noticed this and frowned. “I would advise against moving your injured ankle,” he stated, although, at this point, he believed it was sprained. He stood up and walked over to your wardrobe, glancing at the various dresses you had available.

He tapped his chin, deciding which one suited you perfectly, and walked back to you. “Here we are,” he said, laying the dress on the bed beside you. “I will turn my back. Inform me when you are done or if you require assistance,” he stated before turning around. You pouted, seeing your reflection in his armor.

Your hair still looked disheveled, and you could see the dirt patches that stained your dress. ‘Well guess I could look worse,’ you thought before shifting your glance to the back of Tenya’s head. You tapped your cheek, debating about teasing him and why shouldn’t you? He was the reason your ankle hurt.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t necessarily true. While he had shut down your advances before, he could not refuse you this time. “Knight Iida,” you said, your voice holding that familiar authoritative tone that caused him to turn his head slightly. “Yes, Your Highness,” he replied. “I need help,” you said.

“What do you require assistance with?” he asked, refusing to turn around for fear he might see your exposed body. “Take off this dress,” you replied and found amusement in the way he flinched. “P-pardon?” he replied. Yes, he said he would provide you with assistance but didn't expect you to order him to disrobe you.

“I order you as my knight to take this dress off me!” you said before tilting your head. “After all, my Lady’s Maid isn’t here to help me and I can’t do it on my own,” you lied. However, Tenya was gullible so maybe he'd believe you.

A lump formed in his throat, making it difficult to respond, as did the rush of warmth that flowed through his cheeks, turning them a soft red color. He hesitated when he turned to look at you. Perhaps he didn't think this through thoroughly.

Yet again the thought that he couldn’t deny a royal’s request came to mind. However, like before, he wished to try and talk some logical sense into you. “Are you most certain you cannot perform this task?” he asked. “Yes, I'm sure!” you replied in a huff, and much like before he could feel your glare burning through him.

“I do not recall you complaining of any pain in your hands and your arms are free of scrapes or cuts,” he crossed his arms and your glare intensified. “Take. My. Dress. Off. Now.” you snarled, and he sighed. Upon second thought, perhaps he would be wasting time if he intended to argue with you.

The sooner he helped you, the sooner he could address and care for your ankle. “Very well,” he said, stepping closer. “Please raise your arms above your head,” he instructed, and you smiled, doing as he requested which was quite unusual. Princesses don't tend to take orders, but you made a special exception in Tenya’s case.

He grasped your wrists and closed his eyes before slowly tracing his hands down your arms. You trembled when he caressed your sides and hip curve. Your breath caught when he reached your thighs as he moved his hands to caress the back of them.

You latched onto your lip when his hands moved down and stroked the back of your legs before finally grasping the bottom of your dress. In one swift motion, he pulled the garment off you and allowed it to drop to the floor.

You shivered when the cool air hit your exposed skin and wrapped your arms around yourself. “Your Highness, shall we put on your fresh dress now?” he questioned and before you could answer, your door opened, and in stepped Uraraka.

She smiled and carried a clean pile of clothes for you. Tenya snapped his eyes wide open, turning his head toward the door. “Hello, Your Highness, I brought you-” she stopped talking when she realized what was before her.

A man was alone with you, and you were sitting on your bed completely bare apart from your undergarments. But the man wasn’t just any man, it was Tenya. A knight who served the royal family and was one of her closest friends.

“U-uh,” she looked mortified, and her face turned red. What an embarrassing sight to see. “O-Ochako!” Tenya stuttered; his face red as hers. “I c-can assure you this is not what it appears to be and I-” he turned when he heard your bed creak and immediately covered his eyes when he realized you were attempting to stand up.

You winced as soon as you put weight on your injured ankle and reached out to grab Tenya to steady yourself on one foot. You then hopped behind him to hide your exposed body from Uraraka. Although she had seen you like this many times, Tenya's presence made it different.

She shook her head and stumbled forward, throwing the pile of clean clothes onto the nearest chair. “I-I’ll j-just put this h-here, s-sorry!” she squeaked before rushing out of your chambers. Her heart was beating so fast she felt faint as she leaned against your now-closed door.

“Hm?” Tsuyu, a maid, walked by and noticed Uraraka’s unusual expression. “Are you okay?” she asked, but Uraraka wasn’t sure if she could speak at the moment, and even if she could, it wasn’t her place to share personal information, much less intimate information about a royal’s life.

Your heart was still racing and your face, along with the rest of your body felt hot. But Tenya’s armor was cool, and you pressed yourself against him, slinking your arms under his to keep him where he stood. “Y-Your Highness, may I…may I ask what you are doing?” His shaky voice was unusual to hear.

But that didn't stop you from nuzzling your cheek against the back of his armor. You waited for your embarrassment to fade before uttering the words, “Thank you.” Tenya raised his eyebrow, uncertain of what you were thanking him for.

However, he appreciated such words. He cleared his throat. “Y-you are quite welcome…Your Highness,” he said, his words lingering in the air for a moment. “Perhaps…” You lifted your head, your eyes wide with curiosity.

“We should put on your fresh dress now?” he suggested, making you realize or rather remember that you were still in your undergarments and yet again your face heated up. “Oh um, r-right,” you replied, lowering your hands.

“Please take your seat and I will assist you as ordered,” he said, pointing a gloved finger toward your bed. You pouted before carefully hopping over and pulling yourself back onto it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before facing you.

“Please hand me the dress.” Your lips curled but you did as he requested. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he stated, bowing respectfully before turning once more and opening his eyes. He made sure the dress was facing the right way and rolled it up to make it easier to slip over your head.

“Please raise your arms,” he instructed, turning to face you again. His eyes remained closed even as he slipped the dress over your head. He tried his best not to allow his knuckles to brush against your bare skin. “It is rather rude and inappropriate to look at a bare woman of your status,” you growled.

“My status?” you repeated, as he tugged the bottom of the dress over your legs and sighed in relief before opening his eyes. “Yes, of your status, Your Highness,” he replied, noticing the confused but angered look in your eye. “Royal, young, and unmarried,” he clarified.

“You could change that you know,” you shot back, and he stiffened in response. “I…I…p-pardon?” he questioned, and you snickered as his cheeks turned red. While marriage crossed his mind occasionally, you were untouchable and likely would be betrothed to another royal.

However, he was unwilling to entertain the idea of you being handed over to a stranger. Surely no one else could protect and care for you as he did. Regardless, his personal feelings should not interfere with royal dealings, nor his knighthood or so he would try not to allow them to.

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak when a knock sounded. Like before, he snapped his head toward your door, thankful that you were clothed this time around. “Yes?” he said, and seconds later Izuku walked in.

“Uh, h-hello Your Highness…I-Iida,” he stated, being careful not to spill the water that filled the basin. “Sorry it took a while, I had to help O-Ochako fold the l-laundry and-uh…” he shook his head, guess the rest didn’t matter. “It is quite alright, please allow me,” Tenya replied taking the basin from him.

He could feel the warmth of it and the two requested washcloths hung off one side of it. Tenya placed the basin on the floor in front of you and turned to Izuku. “Thank you Midoriya,” he said. “Oh, i-it was no trouble, um…” He turned to you and pressed his hand against his chest, bowing.

“I…I hope you feel better, Y-Your Highness,” he stated. “You may leave,” you said, shooing him away with your hand. He lifted his head, looking at you before nodding. “Um, y-yes,” he said turning to walk out the door, leaving you alone with Tenya again.

He kneeled, removing his gloves before taking one of the washcloths and dipping it into the water. He twisted it to allow any excess water to drip back into the basin before standing again. “May I wash your face, Your Highness?” he asked.

“Hm?” Your eyes widened and you brushed your fingers against your cheek, feeling the rough texture of dried dirt. Oh yeah, you had almost forgotten about that. “Um…y-yes,” you replied, pressing your hand against your chest.

“Are you well Your Highness? There is little reason to be embarrassed about your appearance. You are rather alluring, pulchritudinous. No amount of dirt nor darkness can collapse such beauty.” Your bottom lip trembled at his words, and you leaned back, turning your head to hide your blush.

‘Why did he have to say it like that?!’ As a royal, you were used to compliments but none felt as personal as Tenya's. “Hm?” He blinked, noticing your odd response. “Forgive me, did I…perhaps Your Highness did not wish to hear such things?” Your eyes widened, and you snapped your head back.

“I apologize and if you wish so, I will refrain from-” he stumbled back when you shot your arms out and frantically screamed, “No!” Your eyes widened and you clamped your hands over your mouth. You weren’t sure if you were more embarrassed over your own actions or the fact that anyone walking by heard you.

Luckily you didn’t hear knocks or frantic footsteps, so you assumed you were safe. You looked away from Tenya and lowered your hands. “I-it…your words were fine just…unexpected,” you replied nervously. “And a-anyways, w-wash my face already!” you exclaimed, crossing your arms.

You knew you were like a spoiled child, but Tenya didn’t comment. “Very well, pardon my touch,” he said as he stood up and gently placed his hand underneath your chin. You closed your eyes as the washcloth touched your skin and collected the obscene dirt.

Tenya carefully cleaned your face in one swift motion, watching the once-white towel surface turn brown. “There you are. I do hope this helps your discomfort,” he said before kneeling again. “Please present your ankle. I wish to clean it and apply a warm compress to ease the pain,” you chuckled.

Tenya certainly had a way about him. You caught your breath when you lifted your injured ankle. That same shooting discomfort made you tense up. “Forgive me, I do not wish to cause you further pain. I will wash it in a quick and tidy manner,” he assured and laid the clean side of the washcloth on your ankle.

The warmth brought some comfort, but you winced as he moved said washcloth around. “There we are,” he said after a minute and looked at you. “Apologies for causing your displeasure,” he stated. “It’s…fine,” you said sighing, angry at yourself for allowing this to happen.

He folded the dirty washcloth and hung it on the side of the wash basin before standing up again. “Your Highness,” he said, bowing. “I would favor moving you toward the front of the bed as I believe it would increase your comfort if you laid against your pillows with your injured ankle elevated,” he explained, and you frowned.

Was he going to leave after this? “Mm…” you tapped your lips a few times as he removed your remaining shoe. You should properly thank him if that were the case. “Okay,” you replied and wrapped your arms around him when he leaned back up.

He nodded and carried you toward the headboard which was partially hidden by the mountain of pillows. He gently positioned you on the silky sheets and guided your head onto the said pillows. Then he grabbed a few spare ones.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure why you had so many pillows, to begin with, but assumed it was due to your status. One must ensure the Princess is happy as she is the ideal representative of the kingdom and sets the atmosphere for her citizens.

He carefully stacked the pillows next to your injured ankle and looked at you. “Please move your ankle slowly,” he said. “I will assist if you so desire,” he added, keeping a respectful and kind tone of voice. “I think I can do it,” you replied, clenching your jaw when you lifted your leg.

You pushed through the pain and slowly lowered your ankle onto the stack of pillows, sighing in relief. “Very good, allow me to prepare the washcloth,” he said, walking back to the foot of the bed. You leaned your head back and focused on the ceiling.

You could hear water swishing, followed by rapid droplets. “Here we are,” he said, approaching you again. “I will be gentle, Your Highness,” he promised before laying the second and more importantly, clean washcloth over your ankle. He then tucked it behind your heel making you wince.

“Apologies,” he said, standing up and bowing again. “But the warm compress should alleviate the pain temporarily. I will inform Ochako to provide you with a fresh one every hour,” he stated. “Are you leaving then?” you asked with a frown, reaching out to him, but he remained where he stood.

“Yes, Your Highness,” he replied, placing his hands firmly at his sides. “There are no further duties to perform here, and I must return to the training ground to retrieve your shoe and tiara. I will ensure both get properly cleaned and polished before returning to you,” your frown deepened.

The last thing you thought about was your shoe and tiara. They weren’t significant, or at least not to you. You opened your mouth to speak, but Tenya lowered himself onto one knee. “Huh?” you blinked, wondering what on Earth he was doing.

“I am afraid I must apologize for my actions. I am aware I was following orders. But an act of violence toward the Princess, even in training, is an act of war against the Kingdom. I wish to abide by my duties as a knight. I wish to serve and protect you above all else.”

Your eyes widened and you pressed your hand against your chest, feeling your heart's gentle thumps. “Um…” you glanced away, with the faintest blush dusting your cheeks. You looked back after taking a deep breath and leaned over, placing your hand on his head.

“Hm?” He blinked, startled by your touch. “I’m glad you followed my orders today, and…” you paused, retracting your hand. “Stand up,” Tenya raised his head. “Pardon?” he asked, making you sigh in response. “I said, stand up,” you repeated, motioning with your hand.

He looked reluctant but stood up and placed his hands by his sides again. You smiled and traced him from head to toe. He was a well-trained knight, and you were sore you wouldn’t see his training session today, but you could still leave a long-lasting impression on him.

“Come here,” you said, beckoning him closer with your finger. Once again, thanks to his gullible nature, he approached and leaned over. “Closer,” he glanced away, looking uncertain, but leaned down further to be face to face with you.

He gasped when your hand rested on his cheek and your fingertips caressed the ends of his hair. “Y-Your Highness, may I ask what you are-” his voice faded when you leaned closer causing his cheeks to turn red and his body to tremble when you laid your forehead against his, then you slowly leaned in.

“Let me thank my knight for all he’s done for me,” you muttered. Every rational thought in his head urged him to pull away, or else he’d break the unspoken rule between social classes and intimacy. But his mind and heart were on different wavelengths.

Despite his thoughts, his body remained still even as you tilted your head and pressed your warm lips against his trembling ones. His breath hitched as if he had just received a blunt hit to the stomach, and tingles ran through his body.

This was a sensation he had not yet known. It was different from the adrenaline rush he gets when in combat or clashing his sword against another. It was more intense, more needy, and yet in the back of his mind he couldn’t help but fathom the reason why this moment. This instance of lips against each other was wrong.

He panted desperately when you pulled away, and your cheeks matched his in color. “Y-you…” he could not form the words and found little comfort in your smile. He ducked his head and scurried to the door, remembering to grab his gloves.

“I…I must leave now,” he stuttered, trying to ignore your laughter. When he closed your door, he tried to focus on breathing. You…you were the only force in this world that caused him to react in this manner. Never had he faced a more challenging foe.

He swallowed thickly and pressed his fingers to his lips, still shocked that you had dared to kiss him. While he would long to experience a relationship, his personal goals would no doubt clash with any possible romantic endeavor.

He lifted his head, glancing at the ceiling with hope flowing through his chest. Although it seemed impossible for royalty and commoners to mix. Perhaps the two of you could blur the lines between human decency and love within the kingdom.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Zero Hour"

Thrawn's master plan pays off in a devastating season finale.

I calculated out once approximately how many onscreen casualties we had on the Rebels' side from this battle. I'd like us to keep those figures in mind while we watch as a reminder of how well Thrawn's attack actually went.

(People tend to selectively forget that part when talking about how all the main characters managed to survive.)

One of the Imperial musical motifs to open us up and even covered in smog and pollution Capital City is still pretty.

Unlike Tarkin's big entrance two seasons ago, there's only Konstantine and Pryce and a couple rote Stormtroopers to welcome Thrawn's shuttle. Because Thrawn does not bother with the flashy shows of force, with the politics and pomp and circumstance. All he cares about are results.

"Thrawn's Web" is in keyboard synths now instead of organs, for his first appearance, btw.

It's kind of adorable how Kallus repurposed the mouse droids to be spy cameras for him.

Our premise is set: Thrawn has figured out--from their sorties and surveys and smaller attacks, most likely--that Phoenix Squadron are preparing to move to attack Lothal's TIE factories. Tarkin doubts in their audacity, but Thrawn has seen Hera in action and knows she very much would dare.

This meeting with Tarkin is twofold, on the surface level a strategy conference, but also another attempt to bait out Fulcrum. Just as he used the map back in "Through Imperial Eyes", he uses this covert meeting to entice Kallus into warning the Rebellion, into taking action that would expose him.

I don't think they ever followed up on this plot element they introduce here, that Thrawn apparently had spies tracking Dodonna's group? Unclear if they were in that Rebel cell or just had good eyes on them. My vote is the latter because Yavin remains undiscovered by the Empire both before and after this battle and the remnants of both Dodonna's group and Phoenix Squadron flee there safely.

Tarkin puts a single leash on Thrawn for the upcoming pre-emptive strike: Capture the leadership alive. If not for this one condition, I'm pretty sure Thrawn would have just slaughtered both Rebel groups in full. Thrawn doesn't seem particularly bothered by this condition, in any case, not a single sign of annoyance or displeasure on his face, but a soft smile instead.

Leaning hard into these OT feels with Luke's Theme and what sounds like ambient noise lifted directly from the Yavin scenes in New Hope.

There's a distinct feeling of optimism here. Ezra is happily gushing about how much everyone else has done for the Rebellion. (Love that cute little wavering gesture he does with his hand to qualify Chopper's contributions lol.) And then Kanan says some of it was Ezra too and ugh my heart.

He immediately deflates and dismisses his own contributions. "Kanan, I... I didn't do any of this." and my brain goes immediately to his soft guilty, "I didn't do anything." from all the way back in the pilot and the self-esteem issues he's shown throughout the series, how he has trouble believing in himself, how he doesn't think he's anything without Kanan and the others, that there's nothing special about him. He thinks he would have been stuck on Lothal "waiting to be rescued like everyone else".

(This is one of the reasons Ezra's grief over Kanan later turns largely self-pitying.)

Kanan's "Ezra, you have never been like everyone else." stabs me right in the gut, hgn. This whole conversation about how Hera saw something special in Ezra, and he did too (eventually), how he wonders if there's even anything left he can teach Ezra... even with the death flags all over it it's still pure heartwarming, basically an open acknowledgement of Kanan as Ezra's father figure.

"He commands one of the largest Rebel cells I know of." HA. HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA. HAAAAAAA. *cries*

It's... adorable that Kallus was using Ezra's old comm tower to send his Fulcrum messages. Kind of stupid, because of course that would be the place to check for a Rebel spy heavily associated with a former Lothal-based group, he may as well have put out a big welcome mat for Thrawn, but it's cute nonetheless.

This fight has been analyzed a few times by people much more keen to this stuff than me but I do like how blunt and precise Thrawn's every move is. Also I did notice that Thrawn targeted Kallus's bad knee (the one he broke on Bahryn).

*grumbles* The "heart of a Rebel" line would have been just that much more awesome if it was a bit more earned. *grumbles*

You know I think this blather about Kallus providing the last clue Thrawn needed is a bunch of bullshit, Thrawn already knew the planet was there, he saw it in the artwork he was studying and realized it had been deleted off his map.

Man just wanted to gloat.

Kallus's face tho. :((((

Continuity callback to "Legacy" and the Empire flushing them off Garel.

The slow build-up of this ambush is great. Fulcrum cutting out, Ryder mentioning the fleet above Lothal just vanished, Hera and Ezra realizing with horror what that means, Sato called away to see the Star Destroyers dropping out of hyperspace, Ryder's holoimage vanishing...

And that final nail of dread when you realize Thrawn brought Interdictors to the battle to cut off their escape.

And there's the flagship in all her glorious splendor.

Thrawn's theme creeping in eerily here as the man himself decides to call in and gloat some more. With any other character this might be empty bravado but we know by now that Thrawn can back this threat up.

And so the stage is set.

Hera quickly realizes she can't brunt force her way through Thrawn's fleet without suffering heavy casualties, so her plan is to try and open the formation up enough to get a ship through to summon reinforcements, basically a Gondor Calls For Aid ploy. They hold out until help arrives behind the Imperial vanguard to distract them, hopefully allowing the Rebels to slip through.

"As Jedi you have the best chance to escape." Oof, Hera knows just how small their opening is going to be, going to need an assist from Force-imbued quick reflexes. And she knows the Alliance responds stronger to calls to action from Jedi, because Jedi are the inspiration, the standard bearers, Jedi make people hope.

Kanan planning on enlisting Bendu and Hera having no idea what he means lolol.

These goodbye/good luck shoulder touches mean everything ghkjh.

Luke's Theme struggles to break in, but the note progression is wrong, ascending to shorter heights than it should be. The heroism of the theme is hesitant, uncertain.

Thrawn's already pegged Sato's strategy, recognizing it by name and implements countermeasures smoothly. The plan to try and spread out the Star Destroyers is dead on arrival before it can get started, Thrawn closes formation and relies on the fighters to batter the front guard of the Rebel forces.

Konstantine whines about why aren't they charging in at full strength and Thrawn shuts him down, warning that the Rebels are going to do something unexpected and that it's only his strategy that's going to win out, shut up, sit down, and follow MY orders. Kallus, who has worked with Konstantine for years, knows exactly how Konstantine is going to take being told to stay put, exactly how he'll see it--as a petty fight for glory.

Thrawn dismisses that. He's not interested in glory, only results. And this is where his lack of political acumen is going to come back and bite him.

Hera enters the battlefield herself, and we see Wedge too. Kanan, meanwhile, is trekking it out to the Bendu hollow to go be a nuisance and give an excellent deconstruction of why neutrality in the face of evil is not only less than helpful it actively harms the righteous cause because With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, if you can act to defeat an evil or work against it you should. This is why Empire stans' crowing about how there were good decent people working for the Empire holds very little water, at a certain point Joe the Average Stormtrooper is going to either witness or be asked to participate in some type of atrocity or injustice, and what they do when confronted with the knowledge "Oh, the organization I work for is actually Really Terrible And Evil." matters. If they bury their ears in the sand and declare, "Not my problem." they're complicit in the daily tyranny and oppression of the system they uphold.

"But when I saw innocents harmed, and knew I had the power to do something about it, I couldn't just watch it all burn down around me!" *CRIES IN "THE JEDI CODE IS LIKE AN ITCH, HE CANNOT HELP IT" FEELINGS*

Ezra's job thus far seems to be to help pick off Imperial fighters and stay out of enough dogfights to watch for his opening. He looks stressed.

Sato changes strategy, ordering a charge. It's disastrous immediately, they lose like three big ships in the space of thirty seconds. And Ezra can't edge around the battlefield far enough to get access to the hyperspace lane opening.

Frick, the frustration in his voice...

This pushes Sato to attempt the Rebel Alliance's favorite tactic: Ram a ship into another ship. This kind of heroic self-sacrifice happens all the time on the Alliance's side, a kind of lighter version of a kamikaze attack, an "If I gotta die I'm taking you down with me!" kind of desperate bravery.

The two pilots that stay behind out of loyalty to Sato says nothing really about them and everything about Sato and the kind of man he is, that people would willingly elect to stay with him to the bitter end.

Sato has them head on a course that seems like they're attempting to escape. Konstantine sees it and takes the bait, defying Thrawn and moving out of position.

Ho ho man the shock on Thrawn's face.

At the last second Sato has the pilots swerve course and plow into Konstantine's Interdictor and THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A REACTION SHOT FROM MART, GUYS, JUST SAYING.

Godspeed sir. *sobs*

Ezra slips through and Thrawn has his fleet tighten once again, repositioning his remaining Interdictor and you can hear the vaaaaaaaaguest hint of irritation in Thrawn's voice here lol.

Organs punctuate this cue, hints of Thrawn's theme overhanging, threatening.

Back down on the ground Kanan's Persuasion Check isn't working so now he switches to insults.

Bendu ah... does not take kindly. I think it's actually kind of hilarious that the whole terrible "It was the will of the Force that the Jedi get genocided!" take is put into the mouth of Bendu after he got pissy for being called a coward. I feel like that maybe was deliberate. Like, "You wanna be like this asshole, fandom? Yeah, didn't think so."

Ezra is having similar trouble getting help from Mon, who feels like sending any of their limited forces to the battle would just reveal them further to Thrawn, alluding to some kind of disagreement she and Bail had about this matter. Bail apparently thought it was too soon for open war. (And that's why he's still in the Senate and Mon abdicated to shore up the Alliance.) I think it runs deeper than that, though, Mon is many things but she's not a strategist and she knows it. In a way she's almost a foil to Thrawn, skilled in politics and people but ill-adept at battle, whereas Thrawn does not understand politics but is a devastating war general.

Ezra's not ready to just abandon Phoenix Group though, so he beelines straight for the person who's been missing from things this whole time.

For Sabine. <3

She's talked about a lot in the opening scene in the next episode, too, reminding us she's not been here. Thrawn's fleet has now made a blockade cover directly overhead of the base, and they're preparing for orbital bombardment.

The worry in Hera's voice when urges Kanan, "Faster... please?" <3

Heeeeeeeeeey remember that time the holonet referenced Base Delta Zero and I told y'all it was basically a bunch of Star Destroyers holding in orbit and glassing everything on a planet's surface?

NOW YOU GET TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DIRECTLY UNDER ONE! :D

Frick that's terrifying.

Thrawn's theme plays in brass, an overwhelming drama to the score as the batteries fall. I love the way this is shot, with close-ups on Thrawn and Hera's faces as if they're staring at each other from across the battlefield. Thrawn doesn't order the ceasefire until Hera flinches, turning her eyes and bracing.

This Base Delta Zero was not solely an intimidation tactic, however. Thrawn likely weakened the localized shield enough for the ground forces to be able to penetrate. He does have his directions from Tarkin and a ground assault will more likely yield him living prisoners than continuing the bombardment.

"I'm getting the feeling Thrawn's actually trying to kill us this time." "Ohhh-ho that is only funny because you're still alive. Now please, come home, love." <3333333 They are so married. So so married. It's actually been a while since Hera called him "love" so she must be feeling Some Type Of Way right now.

HER FACE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. <3

They're both immediately in front of Ursa together to petition her. And they are this close to holding hands sssfdsrrrhfhghh.

Kallus cackling because he knows he can get under Pryce's skin like he can't get under Thrawn's.

Thrawn still sounds just a smidge annoyed. :)

Ezra preparing to leave by himself empty-handed until Sabine declares, "And Rohan will answer!"

Curse this photo limit I'm going to need to make a separate post of just their interactions there's so much good subtle stuff here.

SABINE THINKS THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE EZRA BELIEVES THEY CAN, CRIPES I AM UNWELL.

Sabine thinking strategically and figuring out the obvious target. <3

Meanwhile Rex has set up a choke point to hopefully slow the ground forces down, buy Ezra enough time to come back with help.

Nnghhghkh I didn't think the AT-DPs were capable of freaking me out but that whole big cluster of them all advancing slowly is uh... a good contender.

Thrawn apparently sent the AT-DP company to sus out the Rebels' defenses, so now he's sending in the big bois, the AT-ATs. Not the first or last time he would sacrifice lower level troops to a specific objective. This also serves to prime us to expect multiple waves from Thrawn, which would be used to devastating effect next season.

Love this Big Damn Heroes moment from Kanan here. <3 One Jedi, one nice slice with the lightsaber, felled a whole walker.

The build-up to the Bendu storm is great too, the clouds keeping on rolling in and darknening. Atollon doesn't actually seem to get storms very often, the only two times we've seen it storming were in "Visions And Voices" and now. It does make Thrawn look very intimidating.

EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

And the first thing our Mandalorian reinforcements do is jam transmissions. Not sure from where to where, from the Interdictor to the other Destoyers? From the Destroyers to the ground troops? Just trying to figure out how much of Pryce not telling Thrawn about the Mandos was her failure versus she literally couldn't call him.

Right so Pryce's first mistake was moving the capital ships, Thrawn had them smack over the base for a reason. Now there are gaps in the formation that the Rebel ships can slip through. The Fang fighters were sent in as a distraction while Ezra and Sabine bring the gauntlet in to attack the Interdictor.

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO HEAR THE HEROIC VARIATION OF THE "SHENANIGANS" CUE.

AT-ATs firing up through the coral overhangs from below, at the landing platforms the Rebels have made on one of the big leaves.

Hera sounds like she was getting ready to make a last stand, she was insistent on being in the Ghost when she went out and she sounded astonished to hear Ezra.

ANDTHENTHERE'STHISASSHOLE.JPEG.

*pillows hands* It is fascinating that Thrawn specifically threatens Kanan first to get Hera to surrender. Methinks he has discerned the "special relationship" the two have.

He keeps his hand on his own sidearm, too, makes me wonder if he was planning on doing some of the executions personally.

Thrawn was all ready with some type of comment about not being afraid of the weather and then the lightning struck a liiiiiiiiiitle too close lol.

He's already looking up at the sky like, "Okay that ain't natural." and Bendu's face hasn't even emerged yet lololol.

Angry god face in the clouds and and everyone basically just scatters ha ha. Troopers go that way, Rebels go that way, this is a little awkwardly staged so yeah it does kind of feel like the Imperials just let Hera and the others go.

But again. Angry god face in the clouds hurling lightning bolts down on you. I feel like they don't cover that scenario in training lol.

Sabine with faith in Hera to get the others out awww.

HELLO YES, MY SHIP BE BATTLE COUPLE NOW Y/Y?

"Shenanigans" coming in again, grimmer and more serious than ever, such a far cry from its original instrumentation.

"Hey, I don't have a jetpack." "You have those little thrusters!"

*raises finger, opens mouth*

Was... was that supposed to sound like some kind of "size joke" innuendo?

<333333

"I might have made him angry." Lol just a bit, Kanan, just a bit.

A very atmospheric last look at Atollon.

Don't think we've ever heard Thrawn shouting before, he's trying very hard not to be unnerved lol. And amazingly his, "Shoot the hell out of whatever that is." idea works. Props to Thrawn he took down a literal physical god.

I love the whole fight atop the Interdictor it's just so visually interesting. And Ezra is awesome throughout.

Kallus makes his move once Pryce is sufficiently rattled and flustered by the Interdictor blowing up, sassing her into ordering him out the airlock.

Even with the second Interdictor gone, not all the ships make it through.

I love the way the Stormtroopers Kallus takes out just slowly slide down the wall ha ha. Also love that his escape plan was basically, "Eject myself into an open battlefield, send coordinates, and pray."

I love this music cue, it captures the drama and pyrrhic nature of their escape.

Aaaaaah yes, the Thrawn-Bendu conversation of Foreshadowing. I love this. Thrawn once again trying valiantly not to show how disturbed he is by all of this, Bendu sounding astonished that he was actually hurt by something and then the prophetic words:

"I see your defeat... like many arms surrounding you in a cold embrace."

Fandom had a hard time puzzling that one out I tell ya.

SINGLE TAKE SHOT.

This shot is so good, how we slowly track Kanan as he moves through the Ghost, pausing to listen to important conversations, how he puts a hand on Zeb's shoulder as he passes. THE MUSIC.

Underrated and undeveloped friendship, I want so much more interaction between these two. Fic recs? Anyone? Bueller?

Kanan makes his way to Ezra in the nose gun, who is dejected and somber. Losing Atollon is not just a blow to the Alliance, but a blow to him personally, since it was the attack to help Lothal that got interrupted by Thrawn's ambush. He'd just spend the whole previous episode getting his head back right about his purpose and true goal and place in the story and now it seems further away than ever and that much harder to accomplish.

For some bizarre reason fandom took Kanan's, "There's a future for us, one where we're all free." as much more literal foreshadowing than I think it merited. Mostly after the fact, to complain that it was some kind of broken narrative promise after Kanan died. Guys c'mon, this is meant to be taken in context, as Kanan comforting Ezra with promises of hope, just like Hera did at the end of "Visions of Hope". This is not a prophecy, the "us" is a general us not specifically Kanan-and-Ezra us and the repetition of "I've learned to see things differently" is about reorienting your perspective, not Kanan saying he's literally getting visions.

Anyway, on Kanan's note of optimism in the face of defeat, the remnants of the fleet jump into hyperspace and close us out.

"Zero Hour" definitely has a bit of that Empire Strikes Back pyrrhic victory feel, we escaped and live to fight another day, but the cost was high, the attack on Lothal's factories was delayed and will remain off sometime in an indeterminate future, we lost a major Rebel base and were dealt a severe blow to morale. The Alliance moves more hesitantly after this, afraid to tip its hand too far and attract Thrawn's attention. The camerawork is fantastic throughout and there's a feeling of homecoming as our scattered characters come back together. With a few quibbles, this finale is very very good.

Overall Season Thoughts:

Season Three is the most uneven in quality of the show. The standout episodes are among the more fantastic of the show's run, but the duds fall even flatter. There are episodes that are solid but just "okay", plot threads and elements that are introduced only to receive no follow-up, and overall it feels just a bit messier than the previous two seasons.

That being said... it's still my favorite season. XD I tallied it up and the majority of my favorite episodes were here so what ya gonna do?

Coming to the final stretch here, one more season to go. I expect to breeze through this one since I've already done liveblog reactions to the whole of Season Four so I'll mostly be rambling meta about music and themes and character arcs and of course commenting on my favorite bits and pieces.

See y'all at the finish line!

[the-bird-and-the-flute]

Ikevamp - napoleon's sequel - chap 1 ~ 10

What happened so far

Chapter 1 - 5

We had a lot of lovely-dovey moments with Napoleon in this first part of his sequel.

We had the chance to see a bit of jealous Napoleon when Arthur and the others were teasing them at the mansion and when Vlad gave a bouquet of flowers to MC. Napoleon bought another one just for her ahaha

If you unlocked the key to his heart in chapter 2 you'll get his POV about the flower episode and how he loves to do mundane errands with MC.

He is really romantic and peaceful in the first chapters. He seems happy with the life he has now.

In chapter 3 he gave a ring to MC as a symbol of his vow to always be with her. Napoleon also invited her to visit Corsica, his hometown.

No idea when he was planning to take MC there, but in chapter 4 we can feel that he will have to postpone that trip.

MC and Napoleon notice Gav (yes, our little and lovely Gav is in napoleon's route once again <3) helping some people in town. The young boy let them know he wants to help the local community from now on. So he created the citizen's watch.

Not long after that, Gav introduces Marius and some other boys in their twenties to Napoleon. He says these boys also want to join their watch to help locals.

Napoleon hesitates to teach these new guys fencing, but he eventually gives in. He even invites Jean to help him.

Chapters 6 - 10

Napoleon realizes his students are taking too much of his time. He wants to spoil MC and also spend some quality time with her.

They go to an exhibition and everything is going well when a mysterious man approaches Napoleon. MC was not close at that moment. She was buying some gifts for the mansion residents.

Basically, the random guy said that Napoleon's existence was a mistake. And that he and the other shouldn't be alive. He also points out that Napoleon will ruin the world. He doesn't say a word to MC about that encounter.

A few days later, Comte's friend hires Napoleon as a security at his party.

And yes, Comte was excited to think about the possibility of buying dresses for MC, as she is also attending the ball as Comte's guest.

At the party, a dude called Thénardier wanted to talk to Napoleon. He wanted to hire him as a bodyguard. This guy even said he could hire the citizen's watch as his army and Napoleon could be their commander. Napoleon refused.

After Napoleon refused the offer, the Duke, who was holding the party, allowed Napoleon to take a break to dance with MC!!

Let me just vent here that when we had to make a choice, the correct answer was not to kiss him T_T

Several days passed, and Marius and his group got into a fight with some nobles. Napoleon and MC luckily were in town and Gav called them to help. When they got there Marius and some other boys were injured. The nobles attacked them claiming that the citizen's watch was a nuisance and working class should shut up and do their job. Otherwise, they could fire those civilizans who worked in their family's factory.

The situation escalated quickly after that and Paris is no longer the same. Marius and the others want to send a message to those rich boys who attacked them. They even asked for Napoleon's cooperation, but Napoleon rejected their offer. He also said he didn't teach them how to fight to assault people.

That same night, Comte gathered everyone to warn them to not get involved in the recent events and to be careful.

Then, Sebastian points out that there is something wrong.

Vlad, Faust and Charles are also in that meeting and Vlad says that maybe someone is changing things slowly and that may have affected the present.

After that, we see Napoleon in the garret pondering his next moves. He feels guilty that because of him those boys are using what they learned to assault others. MC noticed that he was acting weird lately, so she went there to reassure him she was always going to be by his side.

Another thing that is bothering Napoleon is that random dude who said his existence in this world was a problem. He still doesn't know who he is and how he can find him.

Oh, and at this point, everyone in the mansion says that Napoleon is a human again after all those events in act 1. Don't ask me why he is not a demi-vampire. It doesn't make sense to me, but Napoleon has no bloodlust so far.

[lexa-griffins]

I had a headcanon where canon Lexa got her period and freaked out because it was black instead of red since she's a night blood. She doesn't know who to turn to except for her mentor Anya

No, because there is actually something very interesting here. Were nightbloods taught about periods and such? Or did no one bother because they all die so young? Assuming Lexa reaches puberty at a normal age (lets say 12-13), she was already commander. And when was the last time she saw nightblood pooled like that? The conclave. Poor thing doesnt know whats happening and suddenly she's having flashbacks to killing the children she grew up along side with.

And then she goes and tells Anya. Anya who is her first but also her subordinate now. Anya who raised her and now kneels to her. And here she is, twelve yeats old, commander of the blood, of armies, of life... being taught something that is so normal and expected. Because they taught her to fight, to kill, and to lead before they ever taught her she'd bleed every month. And why is she only learning this now? Why would you teach a child about a puberty they may never experience? Why spend time and effort having their mentors teach them about sex and reproduction when they won't most likely ever even reach puberty?

And here Lexa is, in the commander's room, after having fought for her life against those who bleed the same color as her, sitting on the throne everyday, planning wars and treaties.... being taught by a woman -no, a girl, Anya is all but maybe 4 years older than her, still a teenager herself - about the most basic of anatomy and reproduction. And its the realization she is expected to understand the world as an adult, one that is in charge of it, when she has no knowledge about her inner self and its works, how she knows less about her body than children younger than her.

All because they bleed red and she bleeds black. And every month she is reminded of that.

My tragic girl.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Her Song (Killshot, Part 3.)

Description: The occupation as a member of SAS came along with many restrictions and rules one had to follow to a dot. It could get even more intense for a soldier carrying a lot of trauma and not enough self-love, if any at all. Thank God, this lonely soldier meets a lonely florist one day, and as they say - animals have the best judge of character.

Part Summary: During an unexpected visit from your favourite military man, the florist starts showing signs of the flu, as is common throughout autumn. It's up to Ghost to become the best sous-florist Soho had ever seen.

A/N: I swear to god, this part was not coming along. I hope you'll have fun with it, but I just feel like the words and correct sentence order weren't coming along at all. Also, Cassie is here to make a guest appearance, we love future Mrs. MacTavish. 

Word count: 6.5K

Tagging: @poohkie90​

Master list: H E R E | Ghost's tapes: P L A Y L I S T

It was strange to get used to - to see a very tall, mysterious masked man walking into your flower shop regularly, always bringing two cups of chai latté and various baked goods. Ghost'd been coming irregularly at first, always making your day a whole lot brighter - after some time, he started coming around your lunch break so the two of you had time to chat and exchange horrible puns and one-liners.

Interesting thing to note to self - Ghost never bought the same type of pastry twice. The two of you started experimenting with what Grind On had to offer, tasting different flavours, fillings, types of dough and other ingredients, debating whether it was a hit or miss. Some of them were really good, and some of them turned out horrendous. Each time you'd spot the known baklava and a matching black hoodie, you walked to meet him in the entrance if you didn't have a client on your hands, holding the door open for him as Bonnie enthusiastically greeted Ghost back to Rosemary's. Needless to say, Bonnie was all over Ghost and the longer the two knew each other, the stronger their bond became. After some time, Bonnie pouted anytime she spotted Ghost packing his stuff.

And one autumn day, she didn't even bother with pouting - the puppy simply rolled on its back and played dead. As Bon continued to lie on the ground dramatically, you two couldn't help but snicker.

"The two of you had been training hard, huh?" - Simon asked as you both watched the dog doing its best not to move, blowing its cover by looking at the two of you - her eyes jumped from Ghost to you, back and forth. Ghost was referring to your continuous attempts at teaching Bonnie all the basic commands - sit, give me five, lie down and to the leg, to be specific. The two of you even paid for a training course, which Bonnie loved - she loved obstacle courses and playing with other dogs and their owners. She was a social butterfly, that much was obvious to you.

"Nu-uh." - You dismissed categorically, shaking your head. - "I got nothing to do with her theatrics this time. Whatever this is, I didn't teach it to her." "What are you trying to achieve here, missy?" - Ghost wondered under his breath, leaning down to pet Bonnie on her tummy - she did her best to continue playing dead, but the wiggling of her tail gave her out. After Simon sat back up, a snicker of yours caught his attention - his stare was borderline offended, underlined with amusement as he turned his head to you.

"As I said, she's growing up to be a total heartthrob and a heartbreaker. Look at yourself, Ghost, you've fallen right into her schemes." - You explained in a whisper, dramatically pulling out the bag with her treats. The man scoffed in reaction to your action. "You'll do her this dirty? Look at her, she's doing her best. This is a new low, even for you." - Ghost noted, rolling his eyes playfully. "Watch and learn." - As you said this, your hand shook the bag. With portrayed drama, you pulled out one of her favourite chewing sticks, waving it around. - "Woah, it's so unlucky that I have this bag full of treats for Bonnie... I just wanted to give her one because she's been such a good girl, but look at her. My oh my."

In that instant, Bon got on her feet and ran to you, barking at you so you'd notice she was right there, alive and well. The shit-eating grin on your face was priceless, making Ghost lower his head in defeat. "Point still stands, Y/N, just look at the lass." - The man continued, putting his hoodie and backpack on. It became a recurring thing - he'd always take it off to make himself more comfortable. He rarely wore short-sleeved shirts, but he'd roll up his sleeves from time to time. There was a pretty intricate tattoo on his left arm, but you've never pointed it out. Hadn't even asked about its meaning either. While the base of your friendship was growing strong, it was still hard to determine where Ghost's 'that's enough of that' limit starts. "Oh, admit it, Mr. Military Man. Bon has you wrapped around her pretty little finger, my little minx." - With that, you finally gave the Bonniethe snack, so you and Ghost would have time to say goodbye as you walked him to the entrance. - "So, see you on Friday?" "Negative, ma'am. I got a meeting to attend, unfortunately." "What a tragedy, sir, you won't be able to get your regular dose of humour." "Speaking of which, you hadn't finished the joke earlier. You owe me one." "Right." - You nodded, expression turning serious. Simon felt this is either gonna be really good or very fucking bad. - "What do you call a shipment of military-issued T-Rexes?" "No fucking clue. What do I call that?" "Small arms." - You added triumphantly, grinning at your own joke. The wave of cringe hit Simon so hard he had to shake his head and take a deep breath.

"Fucking hell, Y/N. Maybe it's for the best I won't get my regular dose of your humour on Friday, this one'll haunt me in my dreams." "Oh, boo-hoo. Can you imagine know how hard did I have to dig for this fucking joke? I'm the funniest person you've met, just admit it already." "Haven't said you aren't." - The man answered silently, hovering over you as your hand rested on the doorknob.

So far, you weren't able to guess how Ghost felt about you. Yes, you concluded he enjoys your presence - he wouldn't be coming as much as he has if that wasn't the case. The two of you regularly met up during your lunch breaks for well over a month by that point. On the other hand, there was the fact that he still didn't entrust you with his civil name, his age, his phone number or other details you were anxious to know about the person you fancied. You weren't losing any hopes as of now, because there was something in the air. You didn't have the guts to name whatever it was, but the electricity was buzzing and chemical reactions were crackling. In moments when he looked at you like this, your breath hitched and your blood started to boil. Sometimes, it had gotten so bad that your body shivered and your lips started tingling ever so gently - that's how desperate you were to kiss him, to let his taste and smell intoxicate your brain, making you unable to concentrate on anything other than him. Oh, yes, another note to self - Ghost smelled so fucking good, with or without cologne. And dear God, didn't you love it when he wore his combat t-shirts so you could gawk at his body? Sometimes, you were pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. Once, Ghost came straight from the base - sweaty, after a training, dressed up in his tight combat gear. Your brain refused to compute on said occasion as he marched around the room, going on a tangent about something (not a clue what he was going off about) - your eyes were glued to his lovely bottom, it was a miracle you hadn't drooled all over your counter. Last note to self - his ass was very lovely.

"Say it, then. Admit that I'm the funniest person you've met." - You whispered, the corners of your lips turning into a devilish smile. "You know I can't." - Ghost opposed, ensuring his hoodie was zipped up to his ching. "You can and you will. It'll stay between us, not a word in front of Cassie, pinky promise - Johnny wouldn't get to know." "MacTavish is hot on your heels, ma'am. All he needs is a sprog of his own and his dad-joke arc will be complete, unfortunately for you." "You're no fun." - You mumbled, pretending to be upset over the dispute. Simon was smiling under the mask, knowing that in his eyes, Johnny's awful jokes wouldn't ever be as good as yours. With that, you unlocked the door, holding it open for Ghost. - "Hope the meeting will go alright." "It's just regular debriefing, Y/N, don't get worked up over essentially nothing - trust me, I'll be alright." "Sorry for worrying, then, Jesus Christ, Ghost. Can't you just take a compliment? Or me being worried for once?" "Where would be the fun in that, love?" - The man shrugged as he walked backwards, still looking at you while leaving.

You both loved and hated when Ghost did that - no way Ghost didn't know what effect this nickname in particular had. Sure - it was just a common phrase, and you've heard it a million times from your grandpas and uncles, but still... It detonated a bomb of butterflies in your stomach each fucking time. "Wouldn't be as fun if I didn't tease you, would it, now?" - Ghost let out smoothly, finally stepping out into the street. "See ya!" - You cried out, waving at him, watching as he disappeared behind the corner. Since Bonnie was too busy chewing on her snack, she didn't even catch that Ghost was gone. With you, it was a different story - smiling dreamily, you still stood in the opened door, leaning your burning cheek into the cold glass. Ghost had to know what he was doing to you and revelled in seeing you getting flustered, overthinking everything he said and getting giddy over each compliment or phrase that didn't have a meaning strictly given by the topic of conversation. - "... You fucking twat."

The rest of your shift went as usual - it was pretty calm since Rosemary's didn't get much traffic on Wednesdays. Things, however, started to feel a bit funky on Thursday - as if the world around you got a bit fuzzy and your eyes constantly burned, making you sleep throughout most of your day. You've taken Bon for regular walks as she was used to, but only after putting on a ridiculous amount of clothes. The first time you sneezed you knew you were doomed - your scheduled autumn flu just arrived in full force. Since you didn't have any shifts throughout the weekend because Cathy needed to up her hours, you decided to push through Friday regardless. Due to your state, however, you didn't have time or energy to prepare yourself for defeating said flu. As you gulped down on a painkiller, you noted there were only a couple of them left - when in the fuck were you supposed to get more or shop for veggies, tissues or cough syrup?

Usually, you liked to deem your work ethic flawless - on that particular Friday, however, you were sluggish and out of it entirely. Orders you'd complete in five minutes took you fifteen, your fingers weren't bending properly and your whole body ached. It was around three in the afternoon, less than three hours until closing time when you heard a familiar voice calling out to you. The man could immediately tell something was wrong - you didn't notice him as he strolled down the alley, you didn't acknowledge him until he stood in front of you. Bonnie, as usual, was all over him, barking loudly and happily. Even your attempted shush was weak and pathetic; Bon's barking made your headache even worse, each sound echoing inside your head. Usually, you'd gush over Ghost's presence - especially after you've been told he wouldn't make it on Friday. This time, you've just waved him off and turned around to have a big fat sneeze. The man stopped in his tracks, narrowed his eyes and watched you moan lightly, supporting the small of your back before making careful steps, and slugging around the shop.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing here?" "I don't know... Working? Like any normal person with a 9-5?" - You reiterated, rolling your eyes at the question before blowing your nose and coughing into the sleeve of your sweater. "Normal people with a 9-5 don't look like their rigour mortis just kicked in." "Very funny, Ghost, very funny." "I've been told I'm hilarious." - The man muttered, turning the sign on the door to 'closed'. - "It would be hilarious to pack your stuff and go home now to work on curing your flu, wouldn't it? That's sounds very fun, doesn't it?" "I don't think I appreciate your sense of humour." - You muttered back, turning the sign back to 'opened'. You could see his eyebrows shoot up and eyes narrowing even more, if possible. - "How was that... Whatever mumbo jumbo you had today? What was it again? Everything alright?"

"The debriefing went as it always does, that's why I've made it today. All good, they even let me off sooner. What's not good, however, is you." "Ouch. That was cold." - You sighed unenthusiastically and checked your watch. - "If you'd like to lay into me, just go home and rest. I have three hours to go and if you're not here to help..." "I might. You know what? I might." - Ghost mumbled under his breath, walking behind the counter to put his backpack next to yours, taking off his sweatshirt as he seamlessly moved around. You had a hard time believing what you've been looking at, so you got stuck watching as Ghost put one of the aprons on. Funnily enough, there is only one remaining - a pastel pink one. It looked cartoonish on a man of his figure with his 6'3 height, broad shoulders, sculptured muscles and menacing posture... It left very little to the imagination, revealing more than it covered.

"What are you up to?" - You asked, genuinely not catching his drift. "You said I can either stop laying into you and leave or become your sous-florist. I've made my decision." "You know jack shit about flowers, you're in the military." - You argued back as if Ghost didn't have a clue about what his occupation was, your voice becoming weaker and raspier with each word. "I'm well aware, cadet." - The man sighed, entwining his palms behind his back and straightening up, gaining at least two extra inches in height. As he watched you with his eyes narrowed and eyebrows knitted together, the fact that he's a high-ranking geezer in the SAS suddenly started making sense. The shift in atmosphere gave you goosebumps. - "We are going to cover each other's backs and ensure the mission ends in success, do you understand? You need my help - I'm here to help. I don't leave my soldiers behind. When this is done, I'll take you home and ensure you rest up - that's an order. Are we clear, cadet?" "Ghost..." "I said, are we clear, cadet?" - Ghost ignored, furrowing even more if that was possible. The stare in his eyes got burning, almost too comfortable to maintain, so you turned your head away, looking on your shoulder. "S-sir, yes, sir." - You got out before you sneezed again, meowling as the sneeze shook your head. God, you needed a bed, a painkiller, a shitload of napkins and sleep.

And so, you were forced to share your workspace with a rather terrifying military man because he refused to leave. No matter how many times you rebutted his decision, Ghost just shut you down with his military mumbo-jumbo; after your thirteenth try, you gave in to having him as your sous-florist. And, to your surprise... Ghost was quite handy with flowers. Little did you know Ghost learned most of it by simply watching you work - all the hours of wondering about your craft, of watching your fingers skillfully tie bows and fixing decorations in place were coming in handy. Putting theory into practice was a different story, but he was handy enough to make it work. Unbeknownst to both of you, there was also a side of him that longed to create art - he never had the time nor the chance to explore this side of himself due to his father's whims and unstable environment, but something about the process of creation calmed him down, grounded him, made him relaxed. Maybe this was something he could concentrate on after his therapist recommends him to find a therapeutic activity again. So far, he'd tried playing basketball and boxing, but neither of those had ever brought him as much peace. Sure, his flowers couldn't be compared to yours, but under your careful watch and a load of your help, he was bringing together acceptable flowers. Ghost hadn't come close to creating a bouquet, neither did he have the balls to do so - trying to tie a fucking ribbon around three roses without shouting profanities was hard enough.

"You know what?" - It was a whisper coming out of your mouth as you finally locked the fucking door of the shop. Ghost sat down and let out a long and tired sigh, massaging his face with his fingers. No exaggeration, he looked as if he just finished running a fucking marathon. "No, but I bet you'll enlighten me nonetheless, huh?" "Oh, haha. I was about to compliment you, but you're being a pain in my ass." "Apologies, ma'am. Go for it." "In case your military career fails, drop your CV here. You're not bad at this, I'll intercede in your name." "Why, thank you. I might do that nonetheless. Got the impression I'm a good florist myself." - The man joked back, watching you stumbling around in your apron - you were unable to tie the knot on your back and since there was a decent chance you had a fever too, you've been walking around while moaning silently. Even through the circumstances, Simon's ears perked up at first as he listened to the soft, helpless sounds escaping your mouth. God. He'd give anything to hear them as he'd hover over you, leaning down to kiss you while his fingers would... Clearing his throat, Simon stood up to walk behind you, undoing the apron. While he was at it, he gently smoother your forehead - you were sweaty as hell, and burning up also. Way more than he'd imagine.

"That's it, we've got to get you to bed and make you tea." "I think you might have a point here, actually."

Walking you home felt like a superhuman task - Bonnie was out of her mind, happily running around and barking, because your state forced the both of you to be inside the shop for the entire day. You've done your best to at least let her walk around the street, but that wasn't comparable to going on a walk. You were holding onto his elbow, feverishly looking around. You've been entirely out of order, that much was plainly obvious - all it took for Simon to determine was the veil cast over your eyes. Usually, there was this excited spark in your look, mainly when you smiled at him (which you did a good portion of the time you've spent together), but now, there was nothing. Your eyes were just aimlessly jumping from place to place as fever took over you, disconnecting you from reality. Getting you on and off the bus as well as up multiple flights of stairs was tricky. With all the remaining might you've had in you, you were trying to help Simon get into your flat, but he still had to wrap his arm around your waist to support you, carrying Bon on his other arm.

Usually, Simon would wait on the doorstep for you to invite him into your flat. It was just a formality, something so very dumb, he insisted on. That way, he'd be positive you actually wanted him in your personal space - yet due to your state, Simon spat on his personal set of rules. He waited until you fished out your keys, mumbling some mumbo-jumbo under your breath. Based on the expression on your face, Simon was pretty sure that whatever you were talking about was very important to you at the moment but he was unable to decipher the transmission. Waving your palms around, you cleared your throat and turned to him.

"I said, keep your shoes on." - You repeated weakly. - "It's fucking messy nonetheless. Also, would you be a doll and get me a painkiller and a glass of water? It's in the cupboard above the sink. I'll go ahead and change into something homey." "If I'd be a doll?" - Simon repeated after you, snickering. First, he set Bon on the ground, petting her before she ran off somewhere. - "Wouldn't you prefer some tea? Your voice sounds hoarse." "Well..." - You stuck your head out of what Simon believed was your bedroom, clearly dressed only in your bra and the pair of jeans that made your bum stand out nicely (yes, this pair was Simon's favourite, in fact). Right after, you slipped an oversized shirt over your head and started taking the bra off. Even though he'd love to stare at you like a deer in the headlights, Simon made the adult decision to clear his throat and look for the painkiller. - "To make tea, I'd have to have tea." "Are you fucking joking?" - Simon responded before he could stop himself. "About?" "Not having tea at home." "Why would I joke about not having tea at home?" "You live in the middle of London. Don't know if you're aware of that, but us Brits love tea." "Ghost, you're like really pretty and all, I like you a lot, but..." - You started off, making his eyes narrow - until he realized you were just trying to put his harangue to end. The tone of your voice made Simon lose himself for a bit before you continued with what you had to say.- "Please, give me the fucking painkiller."

"Yes, ma'am." - If you were fully conscious, you'd surely notice the warmth spreading on Simon's face, the baklava poorly hiding his smile as well as the pure adoration in his eyes - now, however, you just smiled at him and gulped the painkiller down. - "It was the last one in the package. Do you have some more hidden around? I could fetch them for you." - Ghost offered quietly, leaning his elbow into the doorframe as he gazed at you lovingly. Price would surely call him a lovesick puppy. "Oh-oh." "Oh-oh?" - Simon repeated after you, this time in pure disbelief. So you didn't have tea, you didn't have painkillers... Was there anything you did have? - "Do you have literally anything of use inside your flat?" - As he asked, you lifted your eyes up to him, your bottom quivering slightly. "Last week had been tough, okay? I was feeling horrible, I felt like I'm running behind, I didn't have time to..." "Me." - Simon whispered, smoothing your shoulder quickly to make sure you wouldn't start crying on him - his palm ghosted over your skin. - "That's what you'd say if you weren't sick. I'd like to think I'm quite useful. What's your conclusion on this statement, ma'am?" "That it's fucking sad." - You nodded to yourself, turning around to walk towards your bed. Slowly, you made sure you'd before you started to take your pants off. - "That fact that you have to make my own jokes for me? Blasphemy. What am I here for if you can't even joke around with me? You can talk to yourself at this point."

"Nonsense." - The man shut down immediately, watching as you started to tuck under the blanket. - "None of the jokes come across as good when you're not the one saying them. You're the funniest person I've met." - Now, you gave Ghost a smug smile - with a grunt, you laid on your back and let him help with tucking you in. "Ha, suck it, Johnny! I fucking knew it." "Don't you blow my cover, deal, ma'am?" "I wouldn't do that, sir. If you'd like to hang around for a bit, it's fine with me. Do whatever you'd like, eat whatever you find, make yourself some coffee... I'd... Feel safer, knowing I'm not alone in here. If you'd like to order a take-out, just take some of my money, I owe you one." "As you wish, Y/N - about the last part, however, negative." - Simon whispered, smoothing your forehead for the last time. - "I'll take care of everything, okay? Don't you worry." "Sounds good, Ghost. Thank you."

As Simon promised, he set out to do - he started by creating an extensive shopping list of everything you might need to recover from your illness... And dear fucking Jesus, there wasn't anything inside the cupboards, the fridge and the pantry sure had seen better days as well. You clearly weren't joking when you said you hit a rough patch. A lot of daily necessities were seemingly missing, ranging from tea, painkillers, and cough syrup all the way to ingredients for cooking a simple meal. Or it was caused by Simon's routines - most of the things he considered daily necessities didn't necessarily have to be on your list.

When the list was completed, Simon kneeled in your hall and clicked his tongue a few times - the furry ball of love was running to him in an instant, holding the edge of a small blanket for babies between her fangs, as if she wanted to show it to him. It looked like Bonnie was particularly fond of this piece of cloth. "Oh, that's just wonderful, babes, is that yours?" - The man murmured, melting at the sight of Bonnie as he petted her gently. His brain was just starting to get a grip - he was inside your flat with you sleeping in the next room. It was easy to let his mind wander a bit, to imagine he'd be putting his shoes in the same shoe rack, hanging his jackets on the same hanger, and sitting beside you on your small sofa with a floral pattern. - "What about a walk, huh? A lass like you needs a long stretch, doesn't she?"

Five minutes later, with your keys attached to his keychain, the duo stepped into the London wilderness. He'd been well-travelled when it came to London, but your part of town was a mystery to him. Finding a fucking supermarket was hard enough, let alone the fucking drug store. As Simon recited everything he deemed necessary to the pharmacist, her expression was becoming more and more stoic the longer the interaction went on. Simon could see the situation being a bit humorous - a 6'3 man with baklava hiding holding a puppy in one of his arms while simultaneously holding three paper bags coming from a nearby supermarket in the other, buying almost two other bags of various medical stuff. The lady, her name was Marianne, was close to asking Simon what the fuck does he need all this for, but she decided against it in the end. After getting Bonnie a cup of her own ice cream (she went crazy for it, seemingly not tasting it until that day), the duo set on their way home. Simon brought you enough tea for an entire month, fresh pastries, butter he deemed the best, a load of permanent food (canned beans were just the beginning) and some veggies, fruits and other goods he was pretty sure you'd find use for. Your lunch breaks gave him a good idea about what you liked concerning food.

When the two arrived back at the flat, it was silent and dark - only your light snoring gave away that someone was inside. - "How about you run off while I clean up and cook something for mummy, hm?" - Simon whispered to Bonnie while letting her off the leash, watching as she ran straight for her blanket, jumping on the sofa right after. Due to her constant whimpering and her attempts to give Simon the remote, he concluded she'd like to watch something. So Bonnie was into TV, huh? He'd never figure this out on his own. Letting music play silently in the background, Simon started preparing the kitchen so he'd have somewhere to cook his famous veggie broth. In this process alone, he completely reorganised it, making sure everything was easily visible and accessible, and clean as if you just brought it home from the convenience store. Simultaneously, he started preparing you a cup of hot tea and the mentioned coughing syrup, because the longer he'd been in the flat, the more coughing came from behind the closed door. And it didn't sound good at all.

Coming into your room, your back was to be turned to the door. It was hard to say, honestly - you seemingly disappeared inside your enormous bed, hiding under an even bigger, thick blanket. Carefully, Simon set the cup on your night table along with the dose of syrup, sitting on the bed with utmost caution. You didn't seem to notice him, dead asleep. Carefully, Simon stuck his palm under the blanket so smooth your shoulder, making you moan with displeasure - goosebumps immediately formed on your skin, informing Simon that the painkiller might've lowered the fever, but you still had chills. "Hey there, sleepyhead... Delivery service. It'll be just a moment and then I'll fuck off, promise." - Ghost whispered, waiting for you to lay down on your back before carefully helping you to sit up.

"What time is it?" - You wondered, accepting the warm tea from Simon. It wasn't boiling hot anymore but it wasn't ice cold either, it was just the right temperature for you to drink half a cuppa in one go. "Still pretty early, you can sleep after you take some of this." - Ghost smiled with his eyes, shaking the small plastic cup of syrup in front of your eyes. "Where did... Where did you get all this? I specifically remember telling you I'm out of tea... And I know I checked for cough syrup yesterday." "Bonnie really wanted to go out for a walk, so we stopped by a few shops, nothing grand." "And what's that wonderful smell?" - You pushed on relentlessly, eyeing Ghost with raising suspicion. "Vegetable broth." "Ghost!" - You squealed, but regretted it very soon - with silent cusses, you started to massage your throat. - "Did you at least take my wallet to pay for my fucking purchases?" "Wanna know the total?" "So you didn't, fucking amazing. Also - yea? Of course, let me pay you right back." "It's precisely... Don't worry about it. It's my treat. How did you phrase it? I don't want a single dime." "Are you insane?" "Been told I am." - Ghost snickered, ending the discussion. - "I gotta go check on how's the broth doing, I'll bring you a bowl when it's done, yeah?" "Fine, wacko. Thank you so much for doing... All of this for me. I can't appreciate it enough." "It's nothing, stinky face. Rest up." "And Ghost?" - You called out just before Simon walked out of the door, so he held it open to hear whatever else you had on your mind. - "I love this song, could you leave the door ajar for me? I'm sure Bonnie loves it too. Pretty sure it's on top of the list of our favourites."

Simon didn't answer your request, he just did as you asked him to. After checking on the broth, he wandered around the flat for a bit before mindlessly starting to clean up. Not that he'd find the flat dirty, it was pretty tidy actually, but he wanted to kill time somehow. In the process of folding clothes laying around into stacks (the military was to be blamed for that), including your fucking coat for some reason. He'd changed all the burned-out candles, done the dishes and started to put all the groceries where they seemingly belonged. After he was done with being the housewife, Simon started picking various books and other items lying around and did his best to put them in their place - books into the bookshelves, leaving various papers and documents lying on the coffee table for you to sort out.

After this, there were truly no chores to perform. The broth still had ten minutes to go and no matter how much Simon tried to resist, he couldn't but snoop around a bit. He went over the photos on your fridge - most of them seemed to be taken when you were out with your friends or family, having you smile at the camera or perform various grimaces, making the others either do the same or laugh happily. There was an old photo of you way back when - it had to be the yearbook photo because while you tried your best to smile, it was painfully obvious you were uncomfortable. There was one under the fridge, Simon noticed on accident, basically - as he bent to pick it up, the expression on his face froze.

It was the guy. The guy he tailed a month ago with his arm over your shoulder. You, seemingly enjoying the moment, were kissing the guy's cheek, your palm splayed all over his chest - one of the easiest ways to spot a dating couple based on picture only. As he turned it around, there was just a simple sentence handwritten in the corner - Billy and I, spring of '23. Simon's footing seemed to be unsteady all of a sudden. Was Billy your boyfriend, then? If he was, the two of you didn't seem to live together. Why was the heated argument in Rosemary's about? Maybe you've broke up recently and Billy was trying to weasel back into your life? Could this be the reason? If you had a sentimental attachment to Billy, though, you'd notice a photo of your sweetheart missing on the fridge. The photo wouldn't be lying under it, between all the dust and other mess that generally gathered in the kitchen, would it? As Simon tried to figure out what to do with the photo, his eyes wandered back to all the disorganized papers he found lying all over the flat.

There was an envelope - it wasn't big, presumably just normal mail. And the sender was named Wiliam. Could these two be connected? Could that be the same person? Against his better judgment, Simon pulled the letter out to read what this William guy wanted from you. Each word made his eyes widen and each line edged Simon to break something. By the time he was done reading the letter, he was nodding to himself, doing his best to keep on biting the inner side of his cheek. If he was connecting the dots correctly, Billy was definitely William. And William was a piece of shit. The throwaway line was starting to make a whole fucking more sense - she is a good judge of character, better than her mum anyways... What was apparent from the letter was that the two of you broke up some time ago - and Billy wasn't taking it well. That son of a whore called you so many names in the letter it was almost impressive - but he also belittled you, made sure you know how much of scum and whore you are to him and in the end asked to see you again. Well, it wasn't a request, came off as an order in Ghost's opinion. And well, as they say, and as far as Ghost could assume - it never takes too much from mental abuse to slip into physical. Based on the letter's stamp, it came three days ago. Billy wasn't done with you, it seemed - this man couldn't seemingly forget about you, in fact.

Ghost was standing in the middle of your living room, trying to keep his shit together. As Ghost once said to Johnny - choices have consequences. And Billy made a hell of a choice. Now, he regretted his decision to leave Billy off the hook. Simon should've tailed him longer. He should've got on the fucking bus with him and made sure to question him regarding you. Maybe pack a few good punches here and there, beating the everliving shit out of him as a warning of what's to come next if Billy even considers coming near you. It took all his will to put the letter and the photo on your coffee table and fish out his phone - Ghost wasn't too far from waking you up, asking you about Billy's address.

"Hey, Si, is everything okay?" - A familiar female voice answered as soon as the call connected. "Hey, Cass. Hope I haven't called at a bad time." "Not at all. Do you need anything? Did the debriefing go bad? Johnny said you aced it - like you always do." "Went as it usually does, you know the drill. Got a favour to ask you." "All ears, Si." - Cassie confirmed, officially stopping doing whatever she was paying attention to. "Y/N's really sick, so I helped her to get home from work - but I gotta be somewhere soon. Would you look after her for the night? I'd assume she's gonna be better tomorrow." - Simon explained, lying as if there was no tomorrow. He had to leave the flat, no matter how much he wanted to stay. It will be best if he just goes to a pub, sedating all the feelings with alcohol.

"Y/N? Which Y/N?" - Cassie asked, doing her best impression of playing dumb. She was trying to pretend you didn't try to find out everything you could Simon on your hangout two weeks ago. "Miss florist." "Oh! Do you two know each other? What a small world." "I'd like to tell you this story some other time. Can I count on you?" "Yes, Si, I'll look after her. I'll be there in ten, just wait for me, okay?" "Thank you, Cass. I owe you one." "Not a chance."

[loser-jpg]

i just learned of your existence like. barely 2 days ago, so all i know is that you ship your oc with leona and nothing else-

but what are dee’s relationships like with all the other people at NRC?

first off anon i love you thank you for asking me i love to yap especially about dee

ok so dee is a first year so hes good friends with the other first year characters but specifically ace and deuce. they are the dumbass trio and when they are together all of their collective iq drops immensely. also dee is prone to tackling them if he has been separated to long they are his emotional support dumb dumbs. he does call out ace on being an asshole though, and hes always really proud of deuce for working so hard all the time.

with the other first years hes pretty friendly with jack because during book 3 jack helped him out a lot which made dee respect him a lot. hes friendly with epel and likes to encourage the menace behavior when vils not around to tell them off. at first he like, really disliked sebek, but as he got used to him hes started to think of him as a friend too. just a friend who annoys the living hell out of him lmao

hes not too close with cater or trey but he finds them fun in their own ways, he wants to ask trey to teach him how to bake but he hasnt yet cuz hes scared treys always busy with vice housewarden stuff and doesnt want to bother him. he finds cater fun because his internet-ey personality reminds dee of some of the friends he had back home.

now with riddle he sort of pitys him, respects him, and has a small disdain for him all at the same time. knowing about riddles mom reminds dee of his own, and he wants to be able to connect with riddle over that except riddles reaction to having a controlling mother is very different than dees. dee feels that riddle doesnt see how horrible his mother was, and gets angry on riddles behalf because he feels like riddle still thinks his mother was in the right and he gets angry over how obnoxious over rules riddle can be, but he respects riddles leadership and strength too

dee tries to be friends with ruggie since ruggie is essentially leonas second in command, than and he thinks ruggie is fun, but he doesnt like that ruggie sometimes tries to take advantage of the more gullible students. obviously more people than just ruggie do this but basically dee expects better from ruggie because he actually thinks highly of him

with the twins dee finds them really fun and likes to hang out with them just to see the chaos they cause, but hes also kinda scared if jade. not so much floyd because floyd always acts on impulse and such but jade is a planner and is more manipulative than his brother, and smart people like that intimidate dee more

azul...long story short dee thinks hes hilariously obnoxious. he avoids azul unless in groups because he knows azul will take any opportunity to somehow get dee (or anyone else) in his debt, but the time he is around azul he finds it so funny how much 'theater kid' energy he has. any intimidation is gone because all dee can see him as is a guy putting on the most dramatic performance ever

kalim is dees #1 bestie after adeuce. dee saw the one genuinely happy nice lively dude and claimed him as best friend. there are few actually hyper or high energy ppl at nrc who arent high energy due to being...crazy so hanging out with kalim is like a breath of fresh air for dee. they send silly cat memes to eachother.

dee has a lot of respect for how responsible jamil is, like a LOT of respect. but at the same time he has a grudge. in dees mind he cant get over the fact that rather than tell anyone at all or attempt to solve the problems in his life jamil just seemingly gave up before trying and bottled everything up until he lashed out at kalim. like i said dee really likes kalim so seeing how jamil hurt him dee would have a hard time forgiving that, even if he knew why. he just doesnt get why jamil is so quick to blame kalim for it all when kalim obviously thinks so highly of jamil and cares for jamil a lot. its similar to how he feels about riddle. there is respect there, but there are also actions he just cant get over.

ok so with vil, dee definitely disagrees with how strict he can be sometimes, but he gets his strictness is his way of trying to help others become their best self so he would be less mad at vils strictness than riddles. other than that hed be #2 vil hypeman (second only to rook). dee has an appreciation for film so hed ask vil a lot of questions, and vil would probably try to get him to join the film club (hes an honorary member lowkey lmao). essentially those two would be gossipy friends, dee vented to him when he saw leonas vargas camp fit and they bonded over how shit it was and how so many people at nrc have such a rough fashion sense.

dee is kinda scared of rook but also entirely gets why hes so weird. doesnt mean hes gonna go out of his way to hang out with him tho. whenever hes alone hes basically on guard in case rook might be watching (he can never tell anyway which makes it all more anxiety inducing). he will never understand rooks obsession with neige though. he doesnt really like that rook also lowkey stalks leona, but he cant blame him cause he gets it

dee is stealing ortho from ignihyde and adopting him as his brother instead. once again one of the few high energy not too insane people so dee likes to be around him, but also dee always wanted a little brother and does not think idia is giving ortho enough attention. other than that dee has little complaints about idia. he finds him a little whiny, especially with book 6 events, but thats sorta just how idia is and dee cant imagine him acting any other way. dees tried to bond over nerdy stuff with idia before, but ends up just talking to ortho about it because he gets a sort of pretentious, 'im a real fan' vibe from idia sometimes.

dee doesnt really have a typically close friendship with malleus, they dont really talk about in depth things or anything like that, but dee really values his friendship with malleus. sometimes you just need a friend to be chill with, like there are friends you want to vent your problems to and then there are friends who you just know nothing about but you dont care cuz yall are vibing and thats malleus. he likes going on night time walks with him because night walks are just nice, and theyre more fun with company.

dee thinks silvers awesome. thats all. he thinks hes cool and basically has a 'omg silver :0' moment every time they talk. he wants to become better friends with silver, but basically every time he sees him silvers asleep and dee doesnt want to wake him. dee also thinks lilias very fun, but he also is like...constantly suspicious about him. he just feels somethings off about him or that theres something hes not saying so hes constantly like staring him down like '...what are you hiding man' but thinks lilias pretty cool

now small segments on staff

dee is eternally pissed at crowley but at the same time cant be genuinely mad because this man is so ridiculous

dee is scared of crewel because how does no one else find it weird hes treating them like dogs, but i the fit is iconic and being called a good boy is not something he can complain about

dee has no respect for vargas. that man is ridiculous and oh so dense. he avoids vargas at all costs

dee doesnt have a strong opinion on trein, but he thinks its funny he always has his cat in class with him. he has basic respect for trien because hes been given no reason not to.

dee thinks sam is the coolest person alive. dee goes to the store to pretend to look around just to talk to sam. he sees him as like the cool older cousin who is so fun and who you really want to be like when you grow up. dee is however unsure if he is allowed to try to become friends with the store owner 7 years older than him. someone please explain the social rules about this situation my boy is autistic and needs help.

this was way longer than i thought but i really liked talking about all this because for some of the characters i actually hadnt put too much thought and its good to think about this stuff and obviously i love to yap about dee so thank you for the ask anon

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

Love isn't something you just learn Commander. Part 2

Pairing: Commander Cody x F!Reader

Words: 14 536 (oopsie)

Warning: Angst, like A LOT OF ANGST, a description of violence, DEATH, a little bit of action, wouldn't call it a smut even. Fluff. Cody being an idiot. ANGST. Bur Fluff as well.

Summary: A lot has happened and Cody realised that maybe things change.

A/N: So it is not editted. I am sorry, maybe I will do it later. I just really wanted to post it :D And I'm not sure I am 100% with the ending. It feels rush. Maybe I will come back one day and re-write. But for now. ENJOY :)

P.S. My Tag List is open to yeah... :D

It was new and scary. The thought itself wasn't really welcoming. You were a stationed medic, not trained to be a field doctor. So when the request came in for you and your team to accompany the Troops on the next mission you weren't sure if that was just some silly mistake. 

Of course you were promised to be secured as well as it was possible, but the thought itself wasn't really as welcoming as you'd like it to be. The War was scary and you weren't a soldier. Not one bit, and you never hid that. 

"We need some medical support. What we have from the Clones army isn't enough", Obi Wan explained, hoping to find a common ground with you. "We work well with your team. You know Kix and our medic, so both the 212th and 501st would be able to cooperate well with you."

"We're not soldiers, Kenobi" you answered, looking at your closest medics. "Most of my team consists of civilians volunteering to help, with not even any medical background." You stopped and sighed deeply, feeling all the eyes on you. "Are we going to get any basic defense lessons?"

"The first mission starts in three days. We don't have time for that. Most of your people would stay behind as a background help. Only those with more medical experience would be put in front of the battles as a better equipped help." Saying that, his gaze was moved to his soldiers and nodded his head at them, making you frown. "I'm sorry Y/N", your brow raised hearing him say your first name. Manipulative son of a bitch. "I know, you didn't sign up for that, but…" 

"I will talk to my people. It is their decision, alright?", he nodded understanding your point. "I will help as much as I can of course. I'm just…" you trailed off, feeling bashful all of a sudden. "I don't want to be a bother if it comes to it."

"You won't be, Doc, trust us." Cody spoke and you turned towards him. It has been almost a month since that fateful talk. You kept your promise to him to be adult about it and to your surprise Cody made sure you felt comfortable around him. What's more, he and you spent more time together than ever. At the beginning he would come for a check up, staying a bit later just to talk. Nothing special, nothing that would make any of you uncomfortable. But with time the two of you noticed that your conversations became more and more fun rather than essential. “We would still prefer to give at least a basic defense training for the medics that would accompany us into an actual field. You included.” You swallowed and nodded. No, you didn’t like that one bit. There was a solid reason why you decided to never become a soldier. You weren’t the physical type of person really. Always keeping your nose in books has made you averse to any physical activities. “Some of my people and a bunch of 501st guys will be happy to teach you guys some basics.” Despite Cody’s soft spoken words you were still not sure about it. But it was War and you promised yourself that you would help the Clones and the Jedi win it in any way possible. 

“Let me talk to my team and I will let you know about the final size of the eventual group.” All of them nodded their heads. You could decide for your own, but your people’s lives weren’t yours and they had a right to decide. “I will accompany you, of course, but I will have to leave Garialth here to keep an eye on everything.” Kenobi wasn’t too happy about it, but he understood that someone must stay behind in case and if he was forced to choose, you were still the best possible option. “How much time does my team have to decide?” 

“None, really” Rex interjected, sending you one of his apologetic looks. “Even if the smaller medic teams wouldn’t accompany us to the field, we still need to give them a basic military brief. And we leave tomorrow morning so…” 

“Give me half an hour?” Rex smiled, thankful for your cooperation. “I need your word, Kenobi, that if any of my men decides to stay here, there will be no consequence.” The Jedi nodded and promised that nothing bad would happen. “And I want to have a way to contact all of the teams that will be made up from my medics.” Another nod and well, you had to give it to Kenobi. After all, he was a negotiator. “Half an hour.” 

***

You were proud of your men. There were only a handful of them that didn’t want to join the Troopers. Most of them may have been civilians joining your team, but they have quickly become the true medic team of the War. Even Skywalker and Kenobi were surprised when you gave them the numbers. Yes, you were proud of your men, and even more afraid now. The more joined the field, the bigger probability that more would never come back. 

“Come on, Doc.” Cody’s hand on your shoulder shifted your focus onto him. “I’m responsible for your training.” 

“Excuse me?” You gaped at him, not believing what you were hearing. “For sure you have some better things to do than that!” He turned and looked at you with a raised brow. He sighed deeply and then you truly looked at him. He was tired, very tired. The rested man that left your hospital bed was long gone and the Cody you knew took his place. The blacks under his eyes were getting bigger, his face despite not showing any emotions gave away more to those that looked closely. You noticed the way he would look for a quiet place more than often, probably due to the headaches that were probably becoming an everyday occurrence in his life now. His sullen cheeks worried you a bit that you have already been taking care of. Whenever he would come to you for a caff or just a talk you always had something to eat. Whether it was something as stupid as a sandwich or even something sweet. But something more than ratio food. 

“Keeping you and other medics safe is our priority now.” He smiled softly seeing the way you were looking at him. “Stop analyzing me.”

“I’m not” you pouted and chuckled when he raised his brow at you playfully. You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine, maybe I am. But can you blame me? You left my hospital looking shiny, like you came right from Kamino and not even a month later you are once again.. Well you…” 

“Me?!” He laughed at that and you cursed the little butterflies in your stomach at that sound. It wasn’t often Cody would truly laugh, but when he did, it was the most beautiful sound and you swore you’d do anything just to hear him again. It was like an addiction, when you had it once, you wanted it always. 

“You look tired Cody. I know you’re the Marshall Commander but when was the last time you actually rested? I can’t make you train me when I know you could spend that time resting.” He raised his brow at you and you stood your ground, knowing what he was doing. The bastard knew how imitating he was, but you were a head medic of the Coruscant Hospital. You weren’t one for intimidation. And so you crossed your hands and locked eyes with him, making him smirk. 

“You are stubborn, has anyone ever told you that?” 

“One or two of your brothers”, you shrugged and he rolled his eyes at that, making you smile. 

“How about we go through the strategy for this mission, and while you revise it yourself I would close my eyes for a while?” You narrowed your eyes at him but obliged, happy with a somehow compromise. A simple “close my eyes” wasn’t what you initially was aiming for, but when it comes to Cody, you knew it was more than what you were able to get. 

"Just a heads up, I'm a very slow reader!" The man chuckled and you were already forming a plan for him to rest as long as possible. Even if it meant reading the damn strategy briefing more times that it was logically necessary.  

***

The sound of your angry groans was the only thing that could have been heard for a while now. No matter what you'd do, the damn thing wouldn't work as well as it did for Cody and the bastard seemed too smug about it. 

"You won't become an A-class shooter after just an hour, Doc" the little smirk on his lip would normally bring a soft smile to your lips, but you were tired and annoyed. Nothing seemed to work. No matter how you stood, how high or low your arms were, or what direction your feet were facing, you were unable to shoot the damn target. 

"Your breath is too hectic", he started, taking a stand next to you. His blaster at a perfect angle with his arm, the stance was just as he showed you, and his eyes never leaving the target. A perfect soldier shooting a perfect 10. "It's like you hate the solemn thought of holding a blaster." You looked at him and bit your lips nervously. He had a point, the first time he gave you the gun to hold, you could feel your hand shaking. You weren't a trained soldier. You were a medic, a doctor, and holding a gun was the last thing you wanted. 

"I'm a medic, a doctor," you started, avoiding his eyes. It felt stupid. Here you were in front of a Marshal Commander, a man you lo… you look up to, looking all so weak and pathetic. "I swore to protect people not kill them." Cody frowned and sighed, ignoring the way you flinched at it a little bit. 

He never thought of that. He knew training you wouldn't be easy, after all you weren't a trained soldier, bread for it. But he never truly comprehends that your complete lack of skill with a blaster would have another reason, other than just you being unable to do it. He would never have guessed that someone would just be opposed to even holding it and with an actually good reason. 

"A gun isn't just for killing," he started, not sure how to go with it. He wasn't good with talks like that, Rex or even Fives would probably have a better go, but you were here with him and his job was to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you safe. And to do it, he needed you to learn the basics of self defense. "It can save people as well. This is how we do it, why we Clones use it." You raised your brow at him but looked at him giving that benefit of a doubt. "Killing is hard and the last result when it comes to humans. This is why the blaster has two options. To stunt and to kill. We may be machines made to win a war but we do not like killing any more than you or other civilians." 

"You're not machines!" He smiled at your interruption. He would never admit, but his heart did skip a bit whenever you showed your protective side towards him and his brothers. He would never admit to it, but he liked the way your eyes shine with anger whenever someone spoke wrongly of Clones, he couldn't help but smile at the way your tone gets more serious and your feet stumble with a bit of anger, almost as if to emphasize your words. It's kind of childish, but he still adores it. He doesn't know when that happened, but whenever you speak and defeat them, his heart does this weird thing he never truly understood and he thinks he never will. 

"Is that all you got from my speech?" His question, despite being serious, weighs some kind of cheekiness that only Cody would show. "Think of a gun like one of your scalpels and equipment you use to save our lives." He gave you the weapon back and you looked down at it, weighing it in your hand. 

It was so warm. From that short time he held it it already became his. She felt different, like his touch on it took away the scary aspect of it. After all, if Cody could hold it and use it, it can't be that bad. Right ? 

"How do you feel with a knife?" The question got you off guard. You raised your brow at him and smiled mischievously. 

"I did cut you open nicely", your heart skipped a bit with his laugh and you were never more proud of yourself. Cody had one of the most beautiful laughs. Despite him being a clone, you were sure that you would be able to distinguish him from the others with that laugh alone. It was deep and soft at the same time, with that something in it, something mysterious. 

"Maybe the gun isn't really your thing after all."

***

"So no knife either?" You felt like crying. Nothing worked. The knife was even worse than the blaster. With the latter, you were at least able to shoot remotely close to the target, with a knife… well it took Cody one simple move to take it away from you. You felt angry and embarrassed and you don't know when you started to cry. "Hey, Doc, are you alright?" The concern in his voice brought a quiet sob from you, which he didn't miss. His hand on your shoulder would have probably brought you comfort if you weren't so mad at yourself right now. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm angry", you hissed, throwing away the knife and trying to get rid of the angry tears pouring down your cheeks. "I'm so damn furious at myself." He raised his brows and whether he knew or not, his hand tightened on your shoulder. "We're off on the first mission tomorrow and all I did for the past two days was waste your time. I'm so angry because I'm sure you had better things to do than babysit me around and teach me things I'm so terrible at. You tried so hard and here I am…" you looked up in alarm when you heard a chuckle coming from the man. You expect all the different reactions but not this. 

"I'm sorry Doc, I really am… it's just" he composed himself and straightened sending you one of his soft smiles. "I thought you hurt yourself or I worked you off too much and here you are… gosh you really are adorable!" The both of you froze at his words. 

From the way his eyes searched anything but you, it was obvious he did not plan on saying it.  At least not saying it out loud. You looked away and bit your lip nervously. You must have misheard him, it was impossible that the Marshal Commander Cody saw you as adorable. But it was not the time for that. And so you did all you could to master the most neutral face, like you didn't hear it at all. 

"You're tensed", he finally continued when he noticed that words he stumbled didn't have any effect on you. He wasn't sure if he was thankful for that or the complete opposite. "It's like you are already preparing yourself for failure." You rolled your eyes, trying to control your breathing once again. "Here." There was a millisecond of uncertainty, but he picked up your knife and walked behind you, handing you the weapon. "Take it and slowly take a deep breath. Try to feel it in your hand, but empty your mind. Do not associate it with anything rather than just a knife. A blade you used hundreds of times in your entire life." His gloved hand was on yours, the second one protectively on your other arm. "You're holding it so hard, I'm afraid you'll break it", you couldn't help but chuckle, despite the uncontrollable feeling in your stomach, when he moved closer and you could feel him almost leaning on you. "Take a deep breath, Doc. Breath with me. Come on", he turned you around and put your hand on his chest. Despite the inner happiness in seeing him in only his blacks, you really wished he had his chest plate now on. You could feel his muscles from the thin fabric and you did your best to focus on what he wanted you to do. 

And so you closed your eyes and listened to the controlled beating of his heart. How his chest would move wu\ith such peace that you envied him for it. "Breath with me. In and out and repeat."

He smiled softly, feeling how you started to drum your fingers on his chest, almost looking for a rhythm that would relax you somehow. He would never guess that you were so stressed. He knew that feeling well. Having the lives of others on your back was enough to make your nights sleepless. Also the longer the War was taking, the more tired you would become, the more of his brothers would make your life more and more tiring. He knew and saw numerous times how you cared deeply for him and other Clones and he knew that whenever any of them didn't come back it hurt you more and more. And yet you never let it affect you. You  always smiled and supported them. You were always there when he or the others needed you. You would send him to get some sleep, not caring about the oh so growing bags under your own eyes. You were way beyond tired, you were exhausted and yet here you were on a way to a mission you really could have said no to. However, you never even thought for a minute about yourself, your main priority was your man. You didn't think twice before saying yes, but your men’s lives weren’t yours to decide. You were not a soldier and yet you were stronger than anyone Cody knew. And he admired it, he watched you since his hospital visit and he couldn't take his eyes off. 

In the beginning he would come and talk to you, because he felt bad for the way he reacted to your feelings. But the more he observed, the more time he spent with you, he learned to realize that he actually enjoyed that time. You were such a fun and interesting person, with a lot to talk about. And what he found himself to be waiting for yet another evening he would spend just with you. Talking about the War, politics and the situation of the medic teams. But also about your favorite planet, the language you both would like to learn, about the dish you'd like to try and things you'd never touch and how awful Kenobi's lack of any reason is. He found himself thinking what would you think of the last planet he was on. Would you enjoy it or would you hate it as much as he did. What he learned was that he didn't find it scary that he started to think of you more and more often. And that scared him the most. 

"Now open your eyes and just do what I taught you." And to your surprise the knife actually hit the target. Maybe not the actual target per se, but it stuck into the oval plate, which was a much better outcome than the other tries before. You gasped surprised and looked up at Commander smiling widely. You were so excited about the outcome of your last throw that you didn't realize how close you were to the man. His hands were still on you, his body closer than before. "Good girl." He murmured and it was then you realized. The praise never left him before and it was so unexpected that you had to stiffen the little moan trying to escape. Was he doing it on purpose, did he know what he did to you? Could you even dream to think that maybe you had a small effect on him as well? "Now let's see if that would work on the blaster as well." He took a step back and removed his hands from yours, putting the practice blaster in the same place the knife was just seconds ago. "Just like you did before take a deep breath."

You tried your best to concentrate and remember the feeling just before you threw the knife. But your mind was blank,completely. Your body felt cold and stiff again and you missed it. Miserably. You looked away afraid to see disappointment in his eyes. 

"Again", you flinched a little bit, unsure if it was the Commander voice he used on you now, or you were just being paranoid. "Relax, Doc. You're stiff and awkward again. Take a deep breath, just like I showed you."

You weren't sure what it was that made you say it. Was it the overwhelming feeling or failure that you wanted to end. Or just a reminder of his hands on yours, the dream you know that would never come true. The reminder of him behind you, so close that could feel his heartbeat. The same heart you saved weeks ago. The heart of the man you were so desperately feeling in love with and you couldn't help it. 

"Would you remind me, please?" Cody's eyes widened, hearing your quiet and soft question. You still weren’t looking at him, but he was sure to see your cheeks getting this adorable color of pink. It's not that Cody isn't familiar with women, hell no. He had enough adventures with them when he went to the 79's. But these were emotionless, he always knew what to expect. A night of fun and release and a goodbye before the sunrise. A one night stand. Nothing more, nothing less. But despite it all, he knew when a woman flirted with him. And despite the women in the club being more forward, he was sure that little question was not innocent. Not when you yourself were so flustered. 

He felt divided when he stood behind you. He knew that he shouldn't, he didn't want to give you hope that anything could happen between the two of you. He knew he was becoming soft on you, but you weren't like those girls in the club. He didn't want to use those feelings of yours as a way to release his stress. You were so much to him already. So much more than he would dream to accept. 

But the other part of him was pulling him towards you. It wanted to be closer to you, to be touched by you and show the most vulnerable parts of himself, he never showed anyone, not even his closest brothers. He wanted to get to know you more and more. And not only on the physical level but the emotional as well, and as scary as it was it was most importantly thrilling. And the more time he spent with you the more time he realized the second voice always won. 

And so he grasped your arm in one of his hands, turned you around and pulled you towards him in a way that your back was pressed against his chest. The hand on your arm traveled down to your hand holding the blaster, changing its position to make sure you held it correctly. His other hand was hovered over your hip. "Relax, mesh’la" you shivered slightly hearing his voice so close to your ear. You swallowed hard and did what he asked, ignoring the Mando word you were sure you've heard before in your life. "There, good girl!" Now you were almost sure he was doing it on purpose. There was no way that he was as cruelest as that. You felt so warm and no matter how much you tried, you felt heat on your cheeks and your mouth was getting drier and drier. "Good, deep breath. Close your eyes for a second and relax." You followed his instructions and smiled, actually relaxing with his touch. He smelled amazing as well, like pinetree forest. So fresh and natural and so when you opened your eyes and shot, you actually hit the little disk not too far away from the target. 

He turned you around and smiled softly at you. The kind of smile you have never seen. You could see it in his eyes how proud he was of you right now. His other hand joined the first one in your hip and he pulled you closer, closing the distance between the two of you even more. His eyes shifted to your lip and you swallowed, unable to look away from this beautiful, amazing man. As you were about to pull him down by his neck, the loud beeping pulled you two away from each other. 

"General", his tone lacked the softness and he was back to being the Commander of 212th. "Yes, we are done here." You felt a weird twist in the stomach when he didn't look at you. "She'll manage when it's necessary", you looked away from him and put the gun away, the feeling getting nastier every second. "Yes, sir. I'm coming" He ended the call and without giving you even a look, walked to his armor and put it on quickly, including the helmet. "Practice what you learned alone. I will send Boil to supervise your progress" and he left, leaving you completely dumbstruck. Without even a glance back, the doors closed behind you and you felt tears in your eyes. 

What the hell just happened? There were so many questions in your head now and you weren't sure, you were able to find an answer to any of them. Were you too forward with the request ? If you were, why didn't he say anything? It was him, who pulled you closer, it was him that gave you that look. It was his hand on your hips and it was his smile that lured you towards him. And despite knowing it all, you still felt as if you screwed up. You were standing there searching for a reason why he just left, moving you to someone else, as you were an incompetent shiny. 

You cursed when tears started to fall. Why did he just leave? Did he hate you now ? Did you read the room wrong ? The more you thought about it, the more you felt your heart breaking. You thought, damn that, you hoped, that maybe you two were getting closer. You never expected him to return your feelings. You just wanted to be his friend. You just wanted him in your life. And somehow, not even sure how, you screwed it all up. 

It was stupid of you to think that someone like Cody would ever be interested in you. You were just one of the medics, working for GAR. There was nothing special about you. You weren't even able to use a blaster. How would you even think, the Marshal Commander would spare you any time. You should have been happy that he spent his precious time with you. Something you were sure that you have lost. 

And so, you followed his order. An order of the Marshal Commander of the Republic army. You calmed yourself down and practiced, to make sure that you wouldn't bother anyone. 

*** 

"You look angry" Rex was looking at his vod with concern in his eyes. "You seemed optimistic with the plan on the debrief." 

"It's a good plan." Cody answered shortly, taking a sip of caff, or whatever the hell that was supposed to be. 

"Then what's going on?" The Commander sighed and hid his face in his hands, unable to even explain it. He was angry at himself. So damn frustrated, that he let himself go when it came to you. He acted like a damn shiny. It was stupid, but he knew what he wanted at that moment. He wanted you, so damn much. He wanted to taste you in all the ways possible. He wanted to feel those soft hands on his skin, he wanted to hear you say his name. He wanted you. And that was the stupidest thing he did, even worse than getting drunk with Wolffe that one night, and that was stupid already. 

"Nothing. I just have to get my head straightened to focus on the mission", the captain raised his brow in surprise. Cody was always focused on the mission. Rex hasn't met anyone as serious about the War as Cody was. So whatever got him distracted must be huge. "I have to focus on what's really important." 

"You spend too much time with General Kenobi… you start talking in the same mysterious ways" the Commander chuckled softly and took another sip from his cup, hating it even more than the first one. What he wouldn't do for a cup of an actual caff. He would have to definitely go see Fox after that mission. The bastard was one lucky son of a bitch. Sure he had to work below Palpatine, but he had the best caff. 

"Have you ever thought about something more?" The question surprised both of them. Cody wasn't sure if it was the tiredness and lack of sleep that pushed him to start the topic, or just the fact that he felt worse and worse everytime he remembered the look on your face when he just left. 

"More than what? That piss they dare call caff? 

"You know what I mean Rex’ika" the captain of course knew what his brother meant. But he was still working out the surprise of the question itself. Cody was a dedicated soldier, one of, if not the best one out there. And here he was, asking about the alternative future. Something more than being a soldier. "What if there is more and we're just too afraid to take it?" 

"We're soldiers, Clones… we are at War. I won't lie to you and say that I never thought of what it would be like to have a family one day. To wake up to a nice warm body wrapped around me and not wonder about the awkwardness of the morning after." He chuckled nervously. "But I'm aware that those are dreams of common men, and we, my friend, are not common men." He hated to see the way Cody shoulders dropped a bit at his words. But he preferred to be honest with him straight away than to give him a false hope that would break him even more, later on. "So I'm guessing the training was eventful?" 

It was Cody's time to chuckle nervously, sadly even, which didn't go unnoticed by Rex. It wasn't a surprise to Rex about your feeling towards his Vod, and he may have heard of the rejection you got from the said man. So it was surprising to see when Cody has started to spend his time with you, more often than not. And he was more than surprised when it was the Commander that volunteered to train you for the upcoming mission. Rex worried it would only make things more complicated, but he never thought it would turn out like that. With Cody falling for the sweet Doctor. If they weren't Clones, during the War, he would have found the situation hilarious. If only. 

"Boil is going to train her that last day" Rex' eyes widened at Cody's words and tone. "I need to focus on the strategy and the briefing. I don't have time to babysit. "Not waiting for a response, the Commander stood and left the kitchen, hoping to get at least a bit of sleep. 

Rex was staring at the closed doors unable to comprehend what just happened. But whatever did happen between the two of you must have scared the man quite a bit, seeing how he decided that running away from his problems and putting down the emotional barrier was the only way to go. Rex only hoped that it would not affect you that much. 

***

Boil was an excellent teacher. He was patient and fun to be around. He gave you some tips for when you have to shoot and you don't have time to think. Or he gave you an idea to hold the knife differently. Of course he didn't make a soldier out of you in a day, but you were more than thankful to him for the support. You still felt nervous now, sitting at the briefing room, but you kind of felt like you would be able to do something. He also made sure you trained hard enough not to think of Cody.

Cody, the same man, who was standing near the table covered in plans, who was ignoring your presence. It was like you didn't exist. Like that little scene between the two of you never happened. Like all that relationship you worked so hard in maintaining just seemed to cease. It broke your heart, seeing how he bluntly ignored you, not even daring looking your way. 

"You with us, Doc?" You blinked a couple of times, turning your attention towards Kenobi, who was relying on the brief for the mission. 

"My people are ready, whenever you need us." You started, walking closer to the map, stopping as far away from Cody as possible. "My technical team will be stationed here", you pointed at one of the caves about half a click from the main medical base and about a click from the main battle front. “Kix' team will support my guys there and have some moving men between those two places." You circled around the spots you talked about. "This will give us a good flow of pace. Team Alpha and Beta will be placed under both you General and Skywalker as medical support for the Clones teams." You paused and looked at the two Jedi with nothing but seriousness in your eyes. "Please remember I put these men's lives into your hands, Masters. I trust I won't have to focus on writing any apology letters to their families." This was one of the points you brought up regarding the mission. Your men would be as safe as it was possible. "Ceavis and I will lead two small teams closest to the Generals and focus on first aid and logistics. Each team will consist of 4 men plus the leaders. What we say, goes. Understood?" You were sure you noticed a smirk on both Rex' and Ashoka's lips. But no one dared to say anything but to nod. 

This mission was one of the most important ones yet. Two objectives during one assault. One team would focus on the fighting and defending objective. Keeping the army as far away from the separatists' base as possible. And that mission fell on the more offensive 501st. The other one would be responsible for saving the political prisoners and getting the stolen information back to the Republic - fallen under the responsibility of the 212th. This was why the medic team was needed. There was no time to retreat and help the injured back in the base. The base would have to move with them and help those that would still be working, hoping to minimize the casualties. 

"Doc, you keep with me and Cody." You tensed a bit, unable to hide it away from the Jedi, who only raised his brow. "We will listen to you regarding the medical knowledge and expertise, but Cody here is responsible for you, so you listen to him. Understood ?" He mimicked your words with a lace of joke in his voice. You nodded looking at the Commander, who was still looking at the map, memorizing it to the last detail. 

You couldn't blame him, you knew that. He was focused on the mission and the War and keeping his brothers alive. But it still hurt you that he bluntly ignored you, like you were some kind of disease. It hurts you to be able to see the softness in his eyes and feel it on your skin and so absurdly be punished for it. You never expected anything from him, and you told him that, and for just one moment you felt so happy and full. So full and finally able to breathe when he looked at you with those eyes of his. Like you were the only thing in the world at that short moment, like you were a magnet pulling him towards you. And then it was over, it ended sooner than it actually started and he wasn't even able to look at you.

"Don't worry, Kenobi. I know my place." You didn't mean it to sound as hurt as you did, but it did make Cody finally look at you. He frowned, but didn't say anything. Putting his helmet on, he left the room, telling his General he's off to double check everything. 

"So…" you looked at Rex who walked to your side. You were thankful it was him and not Kenobi, or worse, Anakin. "Will you at least tell what my di’kut of a brother did?" You couldn't help but smile softly at the Captain. You weren't sure if Cody spoke to him about what happened… on the other hand you would like to know yourself what happened. 

 "Getting rid of any interruptions." The Clone raised his brow at that and sighed. He was afraid, whatever Cody started talking about, was more what he originally thought. And seeing the way you both reacted to each other, Rex knew that whatever you worked so hard to build, was somehow destroyed. And he couldn't get the feeling off his chest, that it was somehow his brother's fault. "It's my fault really. I was stupid enough to hope that whatever was building between us was something more than a typical professional relation." And before Rex was able to say anything, you left the briefing room, hoping he would have missed that single tear that dropped down your cheek. 

***

"I hope you know I don't like it one bit" Ceavis growled under his breath, preparing for the upcoming mission. Ceavis was your third in command and as much as you appreciated his work and knowledge, you and him were never truly friends. You both had too different characters and a completely different look on the world and your jobs. 

"Yes, you mentioned that once or twice", you rolled your eyes at his tone and sighed. You were in no mood to listen to his constant negativity. It was the last thing you and your men needed. You knew it wasn't a good idea, but the decision has been made. "I'm not sure which team would actually be a better and safer option." You stared at him for a while, waiting for him to at least start packing the essentials, but apparently he had all the time in the world, while you were repacking for the fifth time already. 

You didn't know how Kix did it. You were only allowed a small backpack, enough to keep you alive, but not enough to actually do anything productive. It scared you, the thought that you had to choose from the essentials, that the Clones had to choose like that every damn mission.

"Master Skywalker and the 501st's team will be much bigger, that's why I'm sending you there." You started, trying to control the annoyance in your voice. "You and Enya will focus on firming two formations. Let Enya handle the stay put one, while you take the teams and get the help directly to the soldiers. Your team got the basic training right ?" He nodded visibly, not happy with the way you still wanted to go with the mission. You wonder why he even agreed to come. "Anakin knows that the lives of my people are his priority. He wouldn't want to get under my skin, so whenever you feel like the mission is out of the hands of the 501st speak with Rex and Anakin." You got a nod from him and you turned to leave the room. "We are part of something bigger here, Ceavis, try to remember that", and not giving him any time to respond you left, going to meet up with your team. 

***

"Is there any reason for this weird energy between you and Doc?" Cody frowned at his General. He should have known Kenobi would have picked up any unusual behavior. "I thought you were becoming close."

"Too close", the Commander answered, before he was able to think of the words coming out of his mouth. He sighed at the Jedi's raised brow and continued. "We're at War, General. It would be irresponsible to get attached to anyone."

"You don't mind the relationship you share with me and your brothers."

"This is different, sir!" Cody murmured, knowing well enough what the man next to him was trying to do. 

"Well I hope so, I'm really not good at dealing with romantic feelings" Cody's head snapped at him, his eyes widened and mouth opened almost as if he was ready to fight with his General, but nothing came out. "Whether you're blind or really afraid. Frankly I never considered you a coward and for the success of the mission I hope there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." The Clone swallowed hard and the Jedi smiled. "What's really the matter, my dear ?" Cody hated it when he used these words of affection. He would never be able to say no to his Jedi, and he hated the fact that the general had such power over him. With nothing more than some words. 

"I don't really know myself. Before I knew it, I started to actually enjoy her company. She's smart, witty, interesting and…" He coughed awkwardly, playing with his helmet. "She's really pretty." He looked away, hearing the Jedi chuckle softly. "I felt bad at the beginning. I never had anyone declare their love for me and I didn't want her to get hurt. I hoped that if I tried to stay friendly she wouldn't feel bad. But the more time I spent with her the more I thought of her." He shook his head in annoyance and kept on playing with the helmet. "The last couple of days, when I trained her… I know not every Jedi believes we’re nothing but the weapon for the Republic, but it's still weird to hear it from civvies." He scratched his neck nervously, feeling his Jedi's eyes on him. "She sees us. Like really sees us and I can't help but wanting to see her as well. She cried angry tears because she thought she was a burden to me." He chuckled, but got serious again with the flashbacks. "I never felt such a pull towards anybody. I wanted to comfort her not as a Commander, but as a man. Her man." He clenched his hands around his helmet and closed his eyes. "I… you called when I almost …egh.. you know."

"Kissed her", Kenobi helped him out, laughing at the way his Commander stared at him. It was like he said something in a line of taboo. Obi Wan could not help but admit that it was adorable to see the always stoic Commander, all flustered with a thought of kissing someone. 

"I'm starting to realize why the Jedi opt for no emotions involved." Cody started again, making the Jedi frown again. "I asked Boil to train her after that and we haven't really spoken… I'm trying to ignore her, because if I'm near her, all I think about is her going on that mission with us. And the thought that something may happen to her paralyzes me to the ground. It's pathetic isn't it?" 

Kenobi smiled softly at the man and patted him on the shoulder. It wasn't a secret to him that you were utterly in love with the man, but it was new to see the Clone smitten with you, especially after he rejected your feelings in the first place. He knew the way others looked at the Clones, and he would lie if he said he wasn’t angry whenever someone said something bad about them. For the General, his Commander and his brothers were as much human as he or anyone in the Galaxy and they deserved the respect for protecting the Republic. So whenever he went out with his battalion to 79th, he truly enjoyed seeing them relaxed and flirty with the girls. And it wasn't a secret that he saw Cody as more than his Commander. He was happy to call him a friend and right now, he couldn't help the happy feeling in his stomach seeing Cody in love with his other friend. 

"It's not pathetic, Cody. It's childish that you ignore her, yes." He grinned at the angry look from the Clone but continued nevertheless. "But definitely not pathetic. We Jedi see more and feel stronger. So much stronger than anyone in the Galaxy. To control those feelings we opt for these no attachment rules. But it's not like we don't feel. Feeling makes you human. It makes you act faster and stronger to protect those that you care about. You are a great soldier, my dear, and there is not doubt in me that the mission will be a success, even when you worry so deeply for our Doctor." The Clone smiled softly and nodded. "Love isn't easy and it doesn't always end well, but running away from it may be the most stupid mistake you'd made in your life. If you care for her, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, but for the love of the Force, don't ignore her. You'll only hurt yourself and her even more." He ended at the same moment when your team was slowly getting hungry. "Trust me, my friend. Life is to short for regrets." 

***

"I want to set a camp of some kind in here" you stated, showing a place that was supposed to be abandoned, not too far away from the final destination, but far enough that the medics would have time to fall back. "If you need a medic to come with you, I volunteer, Boil and Commander Cody have trained me enough not to be a bother. Aila will stay and take command over the camp." The young girl nodded, already hearing the plan from you, before you presented it to the battalion. "Cath has also agreed to go if you decide to split during the mission. This would give a total of four medic in the move-in team, which is more than enough." You looked at Cath, a young man who, as one of few, had some experience with blasters. 

"Sounds good to me" Kenobi started, looking at his Commander who was still looking at the holomap, a frown on his face. He didn't like the fact that you so willingly wanted to go with them, but he knew if it was anyone else he would have agreed to a good plan. You were the best medic he knew and it would be a stupid ass decision if he declined your help, especially that it was what he trained you for. 

"It sounds good. Having a small camp will help in case we would need to fall out and go in a smaller group." He nodded, more and more impressed with your planning skills. It made him a bit at ease, when he knew you were prepared for that mission. "The entry to the building seems like a labyrinth, it would be a good idea to divide the teams right now, to save time later."

"I'll take the lead with the first team, you can have the other team." Kenobi started looking at Cody, who nodded in agreement. "I want to see what Cath is capable of." He didn't miss his Commander's eyes on him and he knew there would be a stern talking about it later on. He bit down a chuckle at that. "You and Doc work well together, are you OK with that ?" 

"Yes, sir!"

"Sure, Kenobi", both of you answered at the same time, not daring to look at each other. Working well with each other. You almost scoffed how untrue that was at the moment. You probably would if Cody would have enough guts to look at you… and well, if you weren't such a coward yourself. But this was a mission, no personal attachment was prohibited and you had to hide the hurt you felt. And shame. It was the second time you let the same man break your heart. He didn't even have to do much, his ignorance was enough for you to bring tears in your eyes at night. But it was in the past, nothing was more important than the present. And right now you had to work together to make sure the mission went smoothly. 

"Alright! We move out in ten, get ready!" Everyone around turned and was ready to follow the Jedi into the ship, already prepared for the upcoming mission. You did the same, turning to leave when you felt a hand on your wrist stopping you. 

"Can we please talk?" You raised your brow wanting nothing more to just walk away and tell him there was nothing to talk about. But your stupid heart made you stop and nod at the Clone. "I must apologize. What I did in the training room was a mistake." So two was not enough. He just broke your heart the third time. A mistake - that closeness, that softness in his eyes, the touch of his hands on you. It was all a mistake. "I should not have gotten so close. I… I mean there is a mission and I think we should both focus on that right now." He tried to make the last two words stand out, but the nervousness made it only sound harsher than he ever intended. 

"I understand", his eyes widened at your affirmation and he seemed to relax a bit, until he actually looked at you and his heart broke just a little. Your expression was emotionless, your eyes had no life in them, like you didn't care about anything. "You don't have to worry, that mistake won't happen again." He voluntarily flinched at your monotone voice and the repeat of his own words. Somehow, hearing them from you, felt foreign, painful. "The mission is a priority, Commander." And then you left him alone in that empty briefing room. Feeling worse than he has ever felt before. 

***

The planet was a nightmare. Whenever you stood, you could hear someone fighting. It was like a war zone on the whole damn planet. You tried to ignore the dead bodies of locals, just left there. Forgotten by everyone, like a bag of trash forgotten, when it wasn't needed anymore. 

"We divide here." Kenobi started, looking at your team, as if encouraging you. You sent him a small smile, which je reciprocated with a firm nod. "Cody, I will let you know when we get the data back, I'm awaiting your response when it comes to the situation at your sector." 

"Yes, sir !" The Clone turned towards your group and showed the small map from the holopad. "We will focus on that road here. It's a recon mission from us. If we can avoid the fight we will. 501 has that covered." You couldn't help but smile at his tired tone, when he mentioned Anakin's division. "We may encounter local forces there. If you have to fight, if you don't, capture them. Reckon! Everyone gets it?” A chorus of yes sirs was heard and the men scattered to get into the position. “Stay close to me, Doc.” You turned, after hearing his voice. Despite the command in the tone, you could see a vulnerability in his eyes. You didn't understand where that came from, but you nodded. 

You weren’t about to be a bother to him. You have decided. The moment that mission is over, you will come back to your hospital and regain that professional relationship Cody was so fixated about. The last thing you wanted was to make his life any more difficult than it already was. You desperately hoped to become his friend. Someone who would be able to help him whenever he would have been in need. But he wasn’t looking for a friend. You realized he was just being nice. A good, old Cody. Always the gentleman. All this talk the two of you had was some kind of an apology from him for turning you down. And that thought was making you want to break down and cry right here right now. 

“Boss” you heard Aila’s voice in your right ear and turned to commlink on. “The camp is set up and we have divided work throughout our stuff and the Clones.” You smiled at her words and nodded at Cody who looked your way, as if to confirm that all is fine. 

“Good! Make sure that you’re aware of both your surroundings and the medical stuff. Try to divide it into small teams as we discussed. Get Grail and Tylie focus on the equipment. The rest make sure you show off to those Clones. We can’t be worse than them.” You ignored the chuckle from the Commander and smiled at the one from the girl on the base. You believed in your men, your medics were the best and you weren’t being subjective. You trained them well, and you trusted them with your life. All you could do was boost their morale as much as possible. Even with some stupid jokes like that. “If anything happens let me or Commander Cody know.” 

“Boil and Waxer have already instructed us on the military shit.” The girl laughed at the two Clones that were left behind as a support. “You be safe, OK, boss? I need a raise and I won’t get it, if you don’t come back.” You laughed at that and turned off the comm, when you walked into the tunnel.  

“Focus now. Blasters out, get them into stun mode and keep your heads up.” Cody muttered, turning on the light on his helmet. “And remember we only kill the damn clanckers.” You followed his order, getting your blaster out. You could almost hear your heart beating, with how loud it was getting. You tried your best to control your breathing but it was getting more difficult the further you went into that tunnel. The damn gun was also much heavier than it was during the practice. You noticed how your hand shook a bit when you lifted the blaster slightly. This was ridiculous. You shouldn’t be this nervous, you knew what you were getting yourself into. It’s too late to change your mind. Survive this and you can come back to your patients and white walls of your hospital. 

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Cody whispered softly, seeing the way your hands were shaking. He wasn’t surprised to see your nervous state. Despite being an amazing doctor, you were just a civilian, that was always as far away as possible from the battlefield. All this must be terrifying for you. Not only were you afraid for your own life, but knowing you, you were also thinking of your team. Always the caring one. “Do you trust me?” He didn’t know where that question came from. He wasn’t supposed to focus on any kind of conversation with you. His job was to observe and act as quickly as possible. Not have an existential dialogue, with the woman he was annoyingly falling for. This should be left for after the mission. And yet here he was, trying his best to make you feel better. 

“Yes”, the certainty in your voice made his heart skip a beat. He didn’t expect you to answer so quickly and with such confidence. He looked down and smiled softly seeing the way you were completely focused on your surroundings. ‘Good girl’, he thought to himself. 

“Good, then we have nothing to worry about”, she smiled softly and he felt lighter seeing that little lip quirk. He felt proud for making you feel at least a little bit at ease. 

“Commander!” He stopped, motioning to others to stand by. “Its Vice here. We are at some kind of door, about half a click from your position. We can check it out, or should we wait for you?” 

“Wait for us.” He commended, signaling others to move again. “All the medics are here with us, in case something happens no one will be able to help you. Stand down, and wait, Tropper.” A soft yes, sir was the last thing Cody heard and he took some extra, longer steps to get where his men are. He could hear how you already contacted the CLone medic for this team, to be ready. Well, there go the nerves. 

“Isn’t it too quiet, Commander?” If they were in any other situation, he would have hated the way you addressed him. But it was the mission, and he was telling himself you were just being professional. Something he should focus on as well. ���I may be paranoid, but…” 

“It’s possible that the real action will start after we open those doors Vice told us about”, he answered but couldn’t get rid of the nasty feeling in his stomach. He actually did feel the same as you. You all walked for 15 minutes now and nothing was going on. Not only you haven't missed anything, but there was no one waiting for you. “General”, he finally spoke to his comm, when they stopped at the doors with Vice by his side. “Do you read me?” 

“Loud and clear, Cody.” hearing as Kenobi answered almost automatically it seemed that nothing was happening on his side. “Something doesn’t smell nice in here.” 

“Same here, Sir.” He murmured and signaled for his men to take position. “ We are at the doors. We will open them and see where it gets us. Has General Skywalker been in touch” 

“The 501st are having the time of their lives right now, from what I heard.” You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at his sarcastic tone. “But Anakin didn’t sound like he was complaining.” 

“Nothing new then”, Cody commanded and the General hummed softly. I will contact you in 15 minutes. If you don’t hear from me or anyone on the team, please assume the worst.” 

“Same here, Commander. Stay safe!” And that was it. No commands from the General to the Commander. There was no need. Obi Wan trusted Cody completely and the Clone Commander knew that well. That trust went both ways. 

“Ok, on count to three, Howl, open up that damn door.” raising his hand, he started to count down from three and when he closed the fist, you expected some kind of commotion, a boom or a blaster fire from the other side. But once again nothing was there. One part of you was happy that nothing has happened yet, but the second part knew that there was something fishy in here. “Move, move. Keep your eyes open, but let's keep on moving. Instinctively you moved closer to Cody, after his instructions, your fingers tightening on the blaster just a little more. 

“The sensor shows around 50 people a click away from here”, Guts reported, showing the screen to Cody. So the intel was correct. There were people being held captive. “There are kids as well.” He nodded and looked down at you. You nodded, understanding. The moment they got there, it was your job to get to those poor people and help those that were in need. Your other, free fist clenched around your bag, ready for the action. 

“General. We have sensed 50 lives a click away from us. We are ready to move in. We will meet you at the rendez-vous point, when we can.” He frowned when there was no response. He tried again, and again, but the line was quiet. “Howl, Vice, Doc, try your comms and contact the General.” You all did as he asked, but the outcome was the same. Silence. 

“Shouldn’t we help them?” You asked and he looked at you, shaking his head. 

“They may have encountered the enemy. We should finish our mission here and then help them.” You wanted to argue. What if they were ambushed, what if they needed our help but couldn’t contact us, what if… “You said you trust me, Doc.” You looked at him and frowned, when he took off his helmet. “Then trust me on this one. And let’s finish our first mission together.” You opened your mouth to respond, but couldn’t find any words. You did trust him. And his judgment. And so you nodded, closing your eyes to relax. 

“Ok boys, let’s get this done and go help the General.” They all cheered and you all got ready to storm the place down, unable to hear the quiet rumble from the General in your ear. A silent “it’s a trap” that would later on be a constant nightmare to those that somehow survived.

***

All you could hear was the ringing in your ears. You tried opening your eyes, but you felt as if they were all too heavy. The air felt polluted and heavy all of a sudden. Your head, and that damn ringing wasn’t helping the migrene that was forming,  quicker than you liked to admit. Something wasn’t right. But you were still too out of it to realize what was happening. 

“Doc!!” you must be dreaming, because you are sure, you hear that soft voice of the commander near you. But for some reason he sounded so worried, almost scared. If that was even possible. You so desperately wanted to keep on dreaming. To have him speak to you in that same soft manner. With his hand on your cheek. This dream was what you wanted for so long and so you closed your eyes and focused on sleeping. “No, no, open those eyes. Come on, sweet girl! Look at me!” He never called you that. Those sweet words were like honey to your ears and you wanted to listen. But you were afraid that if you did, you would wake up and be met with reality. “You have to wake up, damn! Come on!” The pain in your stomach, however, brought you back to reality. With a gasp you sat down and opened those heavy lids, squinting, when the dust was getting into them. “Thank the Maker!” 

You looked around and stiffened seeing the scene. If it was only biologically possible, you were sure, your heart just stopped beating right at that moment. You were used to blood and suffering and screams of pains, but what you were now surrounded by was more like Hell. It was how you imagined it to be. 

“Don’t look!” it made you look up at him for the first time, since you opened your eyes. He didn’t have his helmet, there was a trickle of blood flowing down his handsome face. There were cuts on his cheeks and his always well-kept hair was a total mess now. He looked awful, and yet you still find him so incredibly handsome. “Focus those pretty eyes on me, OK?” You frowned and tried to look around again, but he stopped your head with his hand on your cheek. His forehead resting on yours, making your breath hitch at the proximity. “I need to get you out of here.” 

“Cody”, you started but hissed when you tried to move. You looked down at the source of pain and your eyes widened. Your shirt was no longer white and one of Cody’s hands was pushing on the spot there, trying to stop the flow as much as he could. “What happened?” You asked quietly but he only shook his head and you released that he was shaking slightly. “Cody… Are you… Are you OK?” You were slurring a bit, but you had to make sure. He had a cut on his head. You needed to check on it, to make sure he didn’t have a concussion.

“I need to stop that fucking bleeding and I will be just fine, Mesh’la!” He said, pushing on that wound of yours, making you scream in pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, please tell me what to do!” 

“I need to help others first. Need to take a look at your head!” You looked around again and a shocked sob escaped your lips, when you finally realized what surrounded you. Masses of motionless bodies, laying in the most bizarre positions. Some crushed by the rocks, some not even full. You weren’t sure if you were even able to locate the part of each of the bodies, to try to put them back together? What for? You didn’t know. Not like those Clones had families that would like to bury them. They all died here with their family. All of them, from what you saw. All these men that accompanied you here, were lying dead in front of you. And not just them. In the further part of the corridor you could see bodies of the civilians you came to save. Men, women, kids. Even babies. All dead, buried under the rocks, with blood pouring through the leaks of those rocky walls. 

You tried to look away but you couldn’t. Even Cody’s hand on your face didn’t work this time. Your eyes were following each of the bodies surrounding you. A young man holding a woman in his arms. A child separated from his mother. A young woman with dreams cut so drastically. And your whole squad. Those men you loved so much and cared for. You tried to scream when you noticed Vice’s body laying not too far away from you. But you couldn’t as no sound left your lips. He just laid there, still in his armor. If you truly wanted, you could imagine, he was just resting. If you only shook him a bit, maybe he would wake up and smile at you. 

You looked at Cody again, when you heard him calling you by your first name. You couldn’t remember if he ever did that? He did use your last name once or twice, but normally stuck with Doc. Until now, you weren’t sure he even knew your name. You chuckled to yourself, but caught when the pain was back, You gasped and almost fell back, if not for Cody keeping an eye on you. 

“I know you worry about everyone. But please, Doc. We have to take care of you first.” Oh, yeah you were bleeding. The adrenaline was wearing off and you did start to feel it all. You tried to take a deep breath and relax a bit. You knew that if you let yourself, you will get into a panic attack mode, and that was not good for your heart. And then Cody would have to take care of even more than he does now. Poor guy. He did not sign up for this. You weren’t supposed to be a bother. No to him. No… You shook your head slightly, trying to get back to the topic at hand. 

“As the bleeding isn’t exceeding, it means you did a good job and left whatever is there blocking it?” Speaking was getting more and more difficult, but you needed to instruct your commander what to do. You wouldn’t do it to him. You won’t just die, and leave him be. Alone in that Hell you found yourself in. “Don’t take it out even if I go into shock and ask you to do it, got it?” He nodded and still kept the pressure on the wound. “As I’m still able to actually think it means, I wasn’t out for too long and haven’t lost that much blood yet.” 

“No… It all happened about 5 minutes ago.” You nodded and slowly sat up, easing your breathing with every second. It all meant one thing. You were probably in the second class of hemorrhagic shock, which wasn’t that bad. You did feel anxious, but the total confusion hasn’t come yet. “I’m not sure if we're actually safe here, so I would prefer to move you…”

“No”, you stopped him, mid sentence, shaking your head. “Any sudden move will lead me to bleed out. We need to stop that blood coming out of my body before anything else.”

“And how do we do that?” You clenched your hand around something, which you later on realized it was Cody’s thigh, you were holding on. But he didn’t seem to mind at all, not even caring that you would probably leave some bruises there. 

“My bag”, you said softly, realizing that what you’re about to offer will be a hell on its own. But either that or bleeding out on your first ever mission. And that was just sad. “You will have to…” A cough stopped you and you cursed feeling a metallic taste in your mouth. Not good, very not good. “You will have to act fast. OK?” He nodded and he opened your back. To your surprise nothing broke there and you happily found what you were looking for. A pair of gloves, a bottle with a silver nitrate solution, you were so glad you decided to prepare. Some swabs, bacta patches and hemostatic dressings that should help the bacta to do the trick.

“Ok, some pay back for sticking my hands into your chest.” He raised his brow and smiled softly, happy to see you still had enough energy for some silly jokes. “First of all, put the gloves on. Then prepare some swabs and then after removing that thing in my body, you will pour the…” 

“You just told me not to remove it”, he countered and you sigh, giving him a stern look. You didn’t have the energy to do any of it. You were slowly getting into class three of shock that wasn’t good. 

“You will pull that out of me and pour that bottle’s continent on the wound. Do not stop even If I cry and scream. You need to pour at least half of it. You need to do that the second the thing is out of my body.” You looked at him and he nodded, understanding your implication. “You then put the dressing on and patch it up with some bacta. And hopefully it will stick till we get some help.” 

“Hopefully?” he raised his brow at you but put on his gloves and started to follow your orders. He has never done anything like that. He wasn’t a medic. He wasn’t trained to do it. Your life depended on him and he hated it. He was supposed to protect you and here you were, lying injured because you saved him. He wasn’t sure you even remember how you pushed him away, when the bomb went off. How without thinking you just jumped to action saving his sorry ass. 

He closed his eyes to relax and acted before he changed his mind. He tried. He tried so hard to ignore that hellish scream from you when he poured whatever there was in that bottle. He knew he would dream of nightmares of that scream and part of him knew he deserved it. But he kept on going. He did what you told him to do and when you laid there with your eyes half closed, breathing hard, your face covered in tears, but with the wound sealed somehow and no blood was flowing, he was fine with being the one to bring that scream out of you, if it meant you would survive it. 

“Hey, Mesh’la, you OK?” You smiled weakly and nodded. “Ok, I’ll clean that up quickly and we need to go, ok?” 

“I need to have a look at your injuries… We need to see if someone…”

“No-one survived.” It was like a slap to your face and you recoiled, feeling your eyes water at that. “It wa s a fucking trap. They knew we were coming and they used civilians to get us here.” He shoved the medical things into your bag, and took it on his shoulder. “I tried contacting the General, but no sign yet.” You looked around again, and sniffed looking at all those bodies laying around. 

“I’m a doctor, Cody… I was supposed to save them. I was supposed to do something… I can’t just leave….” 

“You couldn’t do anything for them… But you saved my life, if that makes you feel better.” You frowned, and gasped softly, when he lifted you up into his arms. He was so careful with you. It was such a contrast to the hardened soldier he was. “You pushed me away when the bob went off. I will always be in favor of you.” You looked up at his stoic face and hid your face into his chest, letting yourself cry. For real this time. 

***

“Have any of them answered?” Obi Wan raised his eyes on his former Padawan and sighed, shaking his head. “Rex has his team ready to go. We will take Kix and Cath with us and we can go search for them.” Anakin looked at his Captain who nodded, ready to go and save his brother. “You can take Rex and go save your men.” The Master smirked and looked at Skywalker, who shrugged. He was a good man. Kenobi knew that Anakin understood. If it was Rex buried there, the young Skywalker would not have been as calm as his Master. 

“I should have felt it in the Force much quicker. I should have acted sooner.” 

“It’s not your fault, Master!” Ashoka added, frowning at Kenobi. “I don’t think anyone out there would blame you for that, and so you shouldn’t.” 

“When did your Padawan become so smart, Anakin?” They both laughed softly and he sighed. “I hope she’s alright. It was her first mission.” 

“Cody is there, so there is nothing to worry about, Sir!” Rex said, making the Jedi master smile softly. Yet, the Captain was right. Cody was the best soldier Kenobi knows. If there was anyone who would survive that and protect you, it was him. And so he stood and took his lightsaber from Anakin, ready to save his friends. 

***

“I’m sorry Cody”, he looked down and your form crawled at his thighs. You looked so small, so adorable, if only those tears didn’t stain that pretty face of yours, he would be a happy man to hold you so close to himself. Almost losing you made him realize that he was an utter idiot. He should have been honest with you at the base. You two should have talked. And he promised himself, he would not leave your side. He would be your shield. Physically and emotionally. He would let you sleep on him, he would let you wet his armor with your tears. He would let you do anything to him, only if you felt just slightly better. “You lost so many of your brothers and I’m the one who’s…

“You cry for my brothers.” He ended for you, kissing your temple softly, making you freeze. You closed your eyes, enjoying the tender feeling of having him so close. You should not be enjoying it. It was selfish, and yet you couldn't help it. Despite the armor, you could feel the heat of his body. Or was it your body heat you felt? “Not many do that. Not many care enough to share a tear for them. And here you are. Your beautiful eyes puffy after crying so hard for those that were meant to die.” 

“I hate when you say that.” He chuckled sadly, and hugged you closer, his cheek on the top of your head. “I wish I would have done more.” And yet it was like a lighting shock. You straightened, hissing in pain. Cody frowned and looked at you in alarm. “Let me see if you’re injured!” He exhaled and couldn’t help but smile. 

“You should rest. I don’t know how long that patch will last…” You bit your lip and your hand slowly raised to go through his hair. 

“Please, Cody. Let me be useful.” His eyes widened and he once again leaned his forehead to yours. A soft touch, an intimate gesture of the culture he was raised in. A quiet plea and the feelings exchange, of all the things he’s like to say but couldn’t. And so he nodded. And let you. He let you step away from him, keeping a safe hand close to you, just in case. He just sat there and let your small, soft hands take his armor off. Slowly, almost afraid as if your moves would bring any harm to him. If only you knew how different it was. How he yearned to feel you touch. To be cared for by you, with that loving touch of yours. “Can I?” He nodded his head, afraid to say anything. Not sure if he would be able to. “Oh, Cody!” You gasped, seeing his bruising ribs. It was impossible for him not to feel pain. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“You were more important.” He murmured, not able to look at you. Such a strong Marshal Commander, unable to look at the woman he… yes, he loved, look in the eyes. What shocked him was how easy it came to him. Losing was like a spur for him to realize his feelings. “If I didn’t take care of me, who would save me like you could?” You blushed and smiled shyly at yourself, opening your bag. You carefully cleaned his bruises and the cuts on his cheek and head, making sure to bring him as little pain as possible. “I was scared I’d lost you out there.” You froze and his words, but stayed quiet, letting him say whatever was weightining on his chest. “I never wanted to hurt you. Never meant to be such a jerk. I…” He finally looked up and your heart broke a bit at his sad expression. It was like a mere memory of his actions that hurt him physically. “I was scared, because you were becoming someone so very important to me in such a short time and… I’m a Marshal Commander.” You apologized quietly when he hissed at one of the head injuries, when you put a patch of bacta there. “I’m… I’m supposed to only have War on my mind and yet here I am… I was so scared, when you laid there, unable to move.” You swallowed hard when he softly circled his fingers around your wrist. He brought your hand towards his lips and left a soft kiss there. A lingering touch, you will dream about when that mission is over. “I got scared when I realized that I cared so deeply for you. Back in the base. When I almost kissed you. You told me that love is when you can’t get someone out of your mind. And I keep on thinking of you all the damn time.” Your breath hitched at his admission. 

Your shaky hand lowered to take care of his bruised ribs. And you tried to ignore how he shivered at your touch. And you hoped deep inside, that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. You should be a professional, but here he was, half naked in front of you. You tried to focus on your job, but his words shook you. He just admitted that he was falling for you. You swallowed hard, wanting to say something, do something, but you couldn’t. And so, you just wrapped his torso and ribs safely and looked up at him when you finally finished. Happy to know that there was nothing critical. 

“Please don’t say all these things, if you’re going to ignore me, the moment we are back.” He flinched at your declaration, and you felt bad, but you needed to know. Needed to be perfectly sure, that if you let yourself dream, hope, then that won’t just crush after all this is over. “I have loved you for so long, so if you…” But you weren’t given a chance to finish. His lips were on you, before you were able to react. You froze, not sure if you were actually dreaming. His lips were softer than you imagined. It was kind of innocent and sweet, as if he was unsure of himself. When you didn’t move, he stepped back and awkwardly started to apologize, but you didn’t give him a chance. You crushed your lips to his, ignoring how your stomach hurt a bit with those sudden movements. But you didn’t care. You were finally kissing the man you have loved for such a long time. 

Cody didn’t waste his time. Calloused, soft hands cupped your face, pulling you forward even more. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, licking the bottom of your lip asking for permission to enter. And you let him, because who were you to make him wait. And he doesn’t waste that chance. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a way, a chance to show you how much he adores you. His tongue is gently messaging yours, sensually, taking the time to get to know you. 

He pulls away, but doesn’t waste any time, kissing your jaw softly, nipping at it softly, making you gasp softly at his touch. His hands grasp and your waist. Tightly, but enough to hurt you, mindful of your injury. He was so careful with you, so loving. You tilt your head back, wanting more. More of him, more of his warm and hot kisses. You feel him inhaling you and you can’t help but moan softly when he tastes you with his skillful tongue. 

“Cody!” You shriek and he laughs, when you playfully pat him on the shoulder when he bit and sucked your pulse spot at your neck, for sure leaving a mark there. “What if someone notices?” 

“Let them. They will know who you belong to!” Normally you would never let any man talk to you that way. But with Cody it didn’t feel disrespectful. It was like he was confessing, that at the same time he belonged to you and you almost cried with happiness. “But I have to stop now, cyare.” Your heart skipped a beat with the Mando leaving his mouth. “You are injured and I’m unsure if I would be able to stop myself if we go any further.” He softly kissed your forehead and you blushed at this innuendo. As you were about to say something even remotely flirtatious, a voice could be heard from Cody’s comlink. He quickly turned it on and you felt tears appearing in your eyes when you heard Kenobi’s voice on the other side. 

“Cody, report.” 

“General!” You could hear the Jedi relaxed sigh on the other side. “You have no idea how good it is to hear you.” 

“Are you OK? Is anyone injured?” Your smile dropped and you clenched at your shirt nervously.

“Doc will need medical attention as we had to make do with her injuries.” He held your hand and sighed, readening himself to tell his Jedi the bad news. “It was a trap, Sir. The moment we walked in, the bomb activated. All of my team, including the civilians are gone.” There was silence on the other side. Probably no one expected the news to be so devastating. 

“My sincere apologies, my dear. I did realize it was a trap, but…” 

“Don’t blame yourself, Obi!” You interjected, hugging into Cody’s (still) bare chest. He raised his brow and you were expecting a similar reaction from the Master on the line as well. It was the first time you said his name like that. “No one could have expected that. We can’t save everyone.” You sniffed softly and Cody, wrapped his arm around you. 

“It’s good to hear you”, you smiled when he used your name, instead of the nickname. “You both stay where you are. Rex has traced you, we should be there with two medics to take care of you.” And the line was off and you leaned into Cody, kissing his collarbone softly. 

“When we’re back”, he started before Kenobi and the team would come. “I will properly apologize to you.” You frowned, and wanted to deny whatever he thought, but he only kissed you softly at the top of your head and shut you up completely with that sweet move. It was a truly weird feeling. You were so very happy, despite being so devastated at the same time. 

*** 

It took you a whole month of rehabilitation and Kix’ nagging of you staying in bed, before he was remotely OK to let you leave the hospital. Cody was visiting you every day with some sort of a gift. A single flower, a chocolate, a cup of coffee, or a book, you could read to kill the boredom. You both talked, he apologized almost everyday and made sure that he bid you with the sweetest of kisses. You did have a serious talk about where you both saw this going. He promised you that he would do his best to open up to you, but he did ask to give him some time. He never even considered something as stable as a relationship and it was all new to him. And you were more than willing to give him all the time he needed. And so you both decided to take things slow. For the both of you. 

So when he didn’t pick you up from the hospital today, you were worried. He was on his leave and he promised he would a week ago. But here you were, walking to your apartment alone. There was this sick feeling in your stomach, which you tried to get rid of. There was probably something holding him up. Something important. 

You opened your flat doors and gasped, letting the bag fall from your shoulders to the floor. There he was awkwardly standing, in the middle of the room, with some flowers, a table ready for dinner. 

“General Skywalker and Ashoka helped me with it… “ He walked towards you, handing you the flowers. “I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up from the hospital. But I do owe you a first date, don’t I, Cyare?” He leaned forward and pressed a sweet, quick peck on your lips. 

“Oh, you are more than forgiven, Commander”.

Tag List: @loving-the-cambridges

[hsr-texts]

“The axis of thy arrow will forever be on a dime, always pointing to fortune's fool.” - Thalia, when asked about her motives regarding the Aeon of Luck. Thalia is a member of The Inquisitors, a faction that does not believe in the Aeon of Luck's teachings. It is no wonder why Thalia drew Sugu’s gaze, with her views of what the Aeon commands. Thalia's experiences have shaped her belief, leading her to believe that in order to have good luck in one area of life, one must endure bad luck in another. In her mind, the cost of good luck is often hidden, and is a burden that must be carried. Every chance she gets, she will put down the Aeon’s teachings, silently cursing them out when they blessed her with their power. Despite her beliefs, Thalia doesn't give up on luck entirely. She follows her gut instinct and trusts her intuition, knowing that her abilities have served her well in the past. She's aware that her approach to life may seem bleak to some people, but she's comfortable with who she is, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? Due to her personality, many find it hard to approach her, seeing her being a walking contradiction to herself and others. Thalia comes from a planet called Eirlys, a snow-covered planet like Jarilo-VI, but this isn’t the cause of a stellaron. Yet, she left the planet and resides in the Jarilo-VI, working as a healer, often overtime recently due to the inflood of patients due to the fragmentum. Thalia is a long-life species, but appreciates the beauty of life, even if it is dangerous. Thalia is aware who the Nameless are and has had a few encounters with them. She is curious about the Trailblazer, feeling a faint yet powerful energy within them. Oftentimes, she has debated leaving with the Nameless, yet refuses to do it for the simple reason of, ‘I can’t be bothered to move again.’ She thinks that her misery and bad luck is entertainment to Sugu, and quite possibly Aha. “The luck of the draw is a fickle matter, it gives with one hand and takes away with the other. Do not trust in luck, for it is a fleeting ally that will turn on you in an instant.” Thalia is a user of the Quantum element, and fills a healer role(yet like every other healer, she can attack). Her short temper often leaves much to be desired however. Her basic attack is called Misery’s Lover. Thalia deals 30%-40% of quantum damage, using her max HP as a scale. Her talent is called Luck’s Dice. If an ally’s HP drops below 50%, Thalia restores up to 45%-58% of hp, scaling off her damage, with an occasional 250-460 bonus.

Thalia’s skill is named Unlucky Gift. At the cost of her own HP, Thalia restores the targeted ally by 67% of their health. Using this skill, Thalia will never drop below 1hp. However, there is a 5% chance that she will end up taking the selected ally’s health instead, healing herself. Her ultimate is called Misfortune’s Fool. Deals Quantum damage equal to 216%-345.6% of her max attack to a single enemy and may heal up to 550 points of HP back to her allies. I'll work more on her later, but this is what I have written so far. More than likely, I'll rewrite her. - 🔮

Omg you even have a kit for her thats so cool :000

Aaaaaa im so impressed by this!!! Good work anon