#not to mention plot holes that the whole fic could fall into

[theangrypomeranian]

tfw you've been thinking about deleting your most popular fic from a past fandom

[moon-huny]

Stole the Moon - Chapter One

CW: My content is not for anyone under 18. Mostly suggestive flirting and mentions of kidnapping and imprisonment. Reader character has sustained head injury. Oh, you also get choked. Buggy is an a-hole, but that's why we all love him.

Word Count: 2K

Summary: You've been kidnapped and can't remember a thing. Good news! Ole Captain Buggy is here to make you feel more like yourself.

A/N: Alright this is my first ever fan fiction to grace the website we all know and love. I originally wanted to be a fic writer when I joined tumblr, and now, my time has finally come. This Buggy is very much based off of OPLA, since I never actually got into the anime until recently. Tying to keep him in character, but the plot is very much of my own design.

Being new to this, I would love any feedback you might have. Likes, comments and reblogs are welcome, and would make my little heart sing. Okay, that's all, enjoy.

masterlist ✧˖°

• next

“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up.” 

You woke to his voice. Your eyes slowly opening – or attempted to open – before becoming conscious of a stabbing aching pain racking your skull. You rolled over on your side, cradling your head in your hands and shutting your eyes tight. The soft candle light in the dark of your room eased the pain, but whatever relief you found was immediately wiped out by the shrill sound of him speaking.

“Ya know, I thought they killed you.” You could hear his heavy steps pacing the room, the sound too loud, his voice too harsh. He spoke with such levity, a certain air of nonchalance in his tone. He thought this was funny.

“I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting you aboard my ship,” he paused, grabbing a chair and dragging it across the floor. A high pitched sound emitting from wood scraping wood – a sound he made on purpose just to cause more pain. You winced.

“But I didn’t think my crew hurt you this badly.” A tone of mock concern fell from his lips. “You must have put up a real knock out fight.”

He sat across from you. Spreading his legs and leaning over to get closer. Your body was curled up on a poorly made and uncomfortable plank of wood some might dare to call a bed. The “blankets” around you were nothing more than used burlap and tattered bits of sail.

He got quiet, you heard the ocean and people stomping and shouting above you. Then, so quietly, just above a whisper, “I don’t usually keep damaged goods, but you’re much better off lying here than wreaking havoc on my ship.”

It took all your strength to peel open your eyes and pull your hands away from your head. Breathing heavily, you pushed yourself upright. The clench in your jaw both from the pain you were in and the anger you felt.

Through your blurry vision, you could just barely make out a red nose. His eyes were piercing green, like the ocean after a storm. The clown makeup, the bright blue hair, you’d seen his wanted poster before.

Buggy the Clown – wanted for 15,000,000 Berry.

“I’ll burn this whole ship down,” you said. “I’ll sink it to the bottom of the East Blue.” 

Your threat came out much weaker than you intended. You were fighting nausea and an intense dizziness you were struggling to keep under control. It seems the clown caught on. He gently pushed his palm into your forehead with a flourish causing you to fall back down onto the bed gripping either side of your head in your hands.

“Aw see,” he said, standing to lean over your body. “That’s why you’re gonna stay right here,” he said, punctuating the last two words.

He made his way to the exit and grabbed the barred door. He pulled it shut with a loud clatter. You felt the metal sound resonate in your skull causing you to push your palms into your eyes.

“Night night, doll! We’ll chat some more tomorrow.” A loud cackling laugh resounded down the hallway. It made you want to scream.

///

And so, he came back to torture you everyday. Never brought you food or water, instead opting to send random crew members each visit. He didn’t want you making any friends. The only constant was one meal at night and a prompt visit from him following. He never said much, and if he did, you could hardly recall what you spoke about.

You started feeling better. You were able to get up, start walking around your prison. You clocked that you’d been at sea only four days. One porthole you could see out of – if you climbed some precarious boxes – told you you were in the middle of nowhere. Far away from any visible land.

The sun was setting, the sky turning a gorgeous orange color and the ocean turning pink in return. His boots thumped down the stairs, you could hear him shouting up towards the deck, “Hey, shit for brains, if I didn’t make myself clear earlier, I want to be docked in that harbor YESTERDAY! GET. A. MOVE ON!” 

Wherever this circus boat was headed, it was moving fast, but clearly not fast enough. What was the hurry? What was the clown’s goal? And with so little in the cargo hold … It wasn’t like he had a huge haul. Were we being followed by another ship? You didn’t ever see anyone from your tiny window, and the conversations above were so muffled that gathering any kind of intelligence was near impossible.

“HONEY, I’M HOME!”

You ran from your porthole back onto the bed, pulling the blankets up around you. You did your best to slow your breathing and pretend you were asleep.

“Oh sweets,” he sighed, draping himself through the bars. “I know you’re awake.”

The smile you knew he had on, the sickeningly sweet way he spoke to you, it made you angry. You heard the door unlock and slowly swing open. 

You were feeling stronger. Though the ship was in the middle of nowhere, if you could just surprise him, lock him up long enough to get to a lifeboat. You could get away.

“Doll, enough games, okay? It's only fun when I want to play, and I really don’t feel like playing with my toys right now.”

He got closer, close enough you decided. You sprang from the bed making a move to pull any number of the knives from his belt. As you grabbed for his waist, you felt a gloved hand wrap itself around your throat and push you against the wall.

“Oh ho ho, you have GOT to be KIDDING.” He laughed hysterically. “I mean wow, honey, I knew you were bold but I didn’t take you for an idiot,” he spat the last insult inches from your face tightening his grip. Your hands flew up to his wrist attempting to loosen the strangling grip he had on you.

His body pressed to yours, his knee slotting itself in the space between your legs. You were fully pinned, unable to move with the full weight of the pirate against you.

That’s when you heard the long knife unsheathe itself from his belt. The sharp metal pushing into your side. Your eyes, once full of defiance, widened to reflect the fear you felt. Your eyebrows pressing together in a pleading look as your lungs burned, the need for air growing stronger.

“Mhmm, I knew I’d like that face on you,” he whispered. “You gonna be a good girl if I let you go?” You nodded slowly, then felt the knife push impossibly further to the flesh of your hip. The nod quickened, your eyes clamping shut, preparing for the worst.

Then, he let you drop. Your hands flying to your throat, bruising surely setting in, as you gasped for air.

“I told you, doll, not in the mood to play,” he said, sheathing the weapon. “I have something I need from you.”

He nodded in the direction of the small table and stools. You hesitantly pulled yourself upright, sharpened gaze never once leaving his larger figure. You were like a mouse in a cage with a snake – look away and you might be his next meal.

You sat across one another as he pulled a map from his coat. His large gloved hands smoothed the cotton-soft paper out in front of you. The candlelight flickered over the page, the night finally setting in, the air growing colder. 

The thin slip-like dress you wore did barely enough to retain your modesty. You pulled your arms across your chest, staving off the cold and attempting to cover your chest. Sitting there with him eyeing you across the table, you became more aware of your body and the night air prickling your skin. If he was attracted to your shape, he didn’t show it.

“You know what this is?” he asked.

“A map,” you replied flatly.

He laughed. “Funny, sweetheart. Yeah, your captain knows it’s – .”

“YOU are NOT my captain,” you spat back before he could even finish his sentence.

The smile spread further across his face, “If you aren’t joining my crew then you'll stay my prisoner.”

“Is that what this is about, you want me to join your band of seafaring freaks?” You were picking a fight you knew you couldn’t win. He knew it too.

“I think I made myself very clear but, if you need a little extra explaining, I don’t mind. You did hit that pretty head very hard a few weeks ago.”

“Weeks?” You did your best to keep your voice even as panic began to settle in your chest. 

“Your…” it took a moment for him to find the right words, “temperament was difficult to say the least. If I thought getting you on board was hard, oh boy! Talk about keeping you quiet! But, it wasn’t anything a little sleeping powder couldn’t fix.” 

He’s cocky, he knew springing this information on you would leave you feeling confused and uncertain. Was every move he made this calculated? 

“We all got used to how quiet you were, so much … easier to watch.” His eyes traced up and down your frame. You got your answer, that remark was calculated and so was his decision to finally regard your attire.

He was stronger, he had more weapons at his disposal. The clown capitan knew he could say whatever he wanted, and there was hardly anything you could do about it. But that didn’t stop you from opening your mouth.

“What do you want with me and why the hell am I on your ship?”

All he could do was smile and chuckle in return, “That’s so funny, beautiful, truly. You are so much more entertaining when you're conscious. But, I’m going to need you to stop playing dumb, okay? It’s really starting to piss me off.”

His eyes were getting darker, his words sharpening. You were really starting to wish you knew what he was talking about but, god help you, you had no clue. You couldn’t remember how you got here, and now that you started racking your brain for answers, you realized you couldn’t remember anything about yourself. 

Your name? Yes. You knew that. Family? Nothing. Village? A small seaside town, but the details were fuzzy. Who were you before this? You didn’t even know how long you were at sea and now you can’t even remember the basics.

The confusion in your mind began to make itself plain on your face.

“Oh no,” his tone began to change, the grin dropping from his face. “No no no no no -- you really don’t know do you?”

You looked up and saw his expression contorted between realization and anger. “SHIT! No! Gah! This was not supposed to happen this way! God fucking DAMN IT!”

He pushed himself up from the table with a fury, and something you’d never seen him carry before, frustration. Up until now, the blue haired man had acted with such a confident air, but now, it seemed like everything was falling apart. You made no move to speak, just watched as he paced the room spitting various curses into the empty space.

Then he finally turned to you, slowly on his heels. “No, you know what, this is fine.” He smiled, collecting himself. “All of this is just fine.” He began to stalk toward you.

“You’re here, on my ship, and that is alllllll that matters right now.” He placed both hands down on the table in front of you, leaning over the map and getting dangerously close to your face.

“We will just have to work through this little hiccup together. Huh? What do you say?”

“You can go to hell. I don’t know anything about this map, or what you need from me. Any information you're looking for is gone because your moronic sideshow and its excessive force scrambled any memories I had,” you spat.

“Okay gorgeous,” his emerald eyes not breaking contact with your (e/c). “Suit yourself.” 

His tactics weren’t working, he knew it. It was time to change the game. Play from a different angle. You didn’t remember who you were, what you were, he’d help you remember, and maybe add a few memories into the mix. The mind was a fragile place, its chemistry could be changed so easily. Enough of the fear and frustration, it’s always easier to attract flies with honey than with vinegar.

[cherishmimi]

Wattpad Conversions of CA

Hi my loves!

Just wanted to reach out to all of you and thank you for reading CA and still commenting after all of this time. Your love for this fic is what is keeping me going! Thank you! I also want to update you all on an ongoing situation:

I've been made aware that the Wattpad user, 'edits_727' (on Ao3 their user name is bishopsbxtch) is still copying and pasting my chapters as I update them to Ao3. This started as a conversion originally done by the Wattpad user 'Switcho_16' and I believe they stopped taking the chapters around the time I took a hiatus and most likely got tired of waiting for me to come back. Now, this user is continuing the conversion, having copied and pasted each update since I returned to posting the story.

I know that to a lot of people, converting stories to different fandoms seems harmless - but it absolutely is. CA is an AU, meaning that there are differences in its universe than the Glee universe that it's based from as a fan work, which can be incredibly time consuming to create. I don't say that to downplay other non-AU stories, I say that to highlight just how much work I put into the story as a whole. The updates take so long because I spend so much time making sure everything I write connects and is cohesive. Not to mention the original characters and backstories I came up with, making sure there are no plot holes, the research I've done - this is hours and hours of labor that I do because I had a vision SPECIFIC to this fandom. To me, it is a slap in the face to see another person simply copy and paste and change the names. Before, when I made a post about this, a person messaged me and told me that this was 'flattering' and that the users on Wattpad never took credit - which is A. not true, because there were other versions that have been deleted that absolutely did not credit me as the author, and B. this person simply says that 'the story is a conversion of another on Ao3' and never lists my name. Most of all, THEY DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DO THIS. Period.

There is nothing flattering about this. If you crave content for your fandom like CA, go out and create something similar, or even 'inspired by' with the author's permission and knowledge - that's flattery and even more so, that's real creativity. Craft your own work for your fandom.

CA exists because of my love for BDSM and the lack of well written stories about it in the Glee fandom. I hated the Fifty Shades series because it was a terribly fleshed out story that demonized that lifestyle for the sake of a few poorly written smut scenes with a main character that had no boundaries and was a terrible example of what a real Dom looked and acted like. It was glamorized for all of the wrong reasons and I hated that. So, I thought I could do a better job with Rachel and Quinn specifically due the character traits they have on Glee.

Not only that, but I wanted a story that accurately covered body dysmorphia and the ups and downs of falling in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable. The G!p tag was an interesting rabbit hole that I had journeyed down at the time, and I wondered what it would be like to create a story that didn't just use it as an excuse to get out of writing smut scenes between two women whose bodies were the same. I wanted to know what kind of plot could be crafted and how realistic I could make it. I wanted to know what kind of impact going through something like that would have on a person. I wanted a real story, a journey for the two characters.

Of course, this story is just a fanfiction, but I worked so hard on every aspect of it and I have gone through hell to keep it going. I don't want other people taking it for other fandoms. I just don't feel that it is right. I have messaged the 'author' and calmly explained how I felt to them. I have also asked them to take the story down and to stop because they don't have my permission and I'm hoping that is well received, but in the meantime I am encouraging ANY of you that are doing that in any fandom to stop.

As I said before, take the time to create your own works and build your fandoms with the stories you want to see. It is much more exciting, and it comes with ups and downs but that is the beauty of fandom and fanfiction itself.

Love you all.

-Mimi

[actuallysaiyan]

I Still Want You Around(Part II)

The Peeping Rōnin(Part II)

warnings: mentions of smoking, drinking, partying, mentions of a loss of a loved one, insinuations of spying pairings: Nanami Kento x Fem!OC taglist: @beneathstarryskies @seireiteihellbutterfly summary: With the party planned for the new manager, the new tenants begin to wonder what he'll do to help fix up the old house. Kimiko makes Kento believe terrible things about our poor Rōnin. The party begins, leaving poor Karin nowhere to go as they take control of her room. Kento confesses something to Karin, making her realize they are more alike than previously thought. Kindred spirits, perhaps. a/n: I'll be using some Japanese terms here and there within this fic, but nothing crazy. Chabudai= short-legged table used in traditional Japanese homes. Rōnin= A masterless Samurai, unemployed salaryman or a secondary school graduate who has not yet been admitted to university.

Masterlist

The next morning, Kento and the movers are at the old boarding house. Despite the fact that the movers are there to help Kento move the heavier things into the house, he’s still out there with them. Karin sits in the doorway of her room, watching as the movers lug heavy furniture into the manager’s room. Her eyes nearly bulge out of her skull when she sees Kento. He’s got his sleeves unbuttoned and pushed up, showing off veiny and muscular forearms. His chest is puffed out a little too, and Karin’s jaw nearly drops when she notices he’s got a few buttons opened there too. A small amount of chest hair is visible, and she feels her heart stop when she sees a bead of sweat get swallowed up by the hair.

“Eyeballin’ the new manager, huh?” Kimiko teases, elbowing her in the side.

Karin grips her side, “Ow! No! What the hell?”

But there was no denying it. The man was gorgeous, how could she not sneak a peek? Especially when he was working just as hard, if not harder, than the movers themselves. He’s an impressive man, that’s for sure. But his looks were sublime. The man looked like a Greek god, an ADONIS! There wasn’t anything that could make Karin think otherwise.

“Ah don’t be shy,” Kimiko whispers in Karin’s ear. “He’s pretty damn good lookin’!”

Karin whips around to face her red-headed neighbor, “What the hell? That’s our new manager!”

Just in that instant, Kento is passing by with a heavy looking box. He looks at both women, his brows furrowed a little. Karin wishes she could just be swallowed whole by the ground. Kimiko laughs, pushing over Karin. Karin squeals as she falls nearly in front of Kento, who’s trying not to laugh at the entire interaction.

“Sorry! Sorry! Didn’t mean to,” Karin says, dusting herself off and returning to her room.

How embarrassing! He really must think she’s an idiot.

“Good going, Karin! Way to really fall on your knees!” Kimiko says, chuckling as she leaves the room.

The minute some of the other movers come in, she’s quickly flirting with them. Karin scoffs at Kimiko’s feminine wiles. She feels so plain Jane compared to Kimiko. Ever since she moved here, she wondered if she could even compare to the redheaded woman. Karin never felt like she was someone special to begin with, so seeing someone with such sex appeal just oozing from her, it made her nervous.

Karin settles in her room, sitting at her desk. It’s such a nice day out, and yet she’s confined to her room. There’s a rustling sound coming from the closet and soon Mr. Ide is poking his head from his usual spot in the hole in the closet that connects their two rooms. He’s resting his head on his hands, a big smirk on his face.

“So, young Karin, are you ready for the party tonight?” he asks, looking right at her.

“As long as it doesn’t require being in my room, then yeah sure.”

Mr. Ide smirks even wider, bringing his hands together and rubbing them together. He’s plotting for this to happen exactly as the young woman explains against it. There’s nothing he enjoys more than to torment Karin to no end.

“Your room, you say? How generous of you to offer this to us!”

Karin grumbles and finally turns to the man. She’s got her pencil gripped so tightly in her fist, it looks like it may snap. Eraser dustings fly up into the air, polluting the room even more than before. Mr. Ide narrows his eyes playfully, watching her reaction.

“No! No no no! Not my room, I just said that!”

Mr. Ide, “Your room? Your room, you said?”

She cries out, snapping her pencil. She shoves it aside, and grabs another one from the desk. Karin is exasperated, desperate to try and study even more. Mr. Ide slides into the room even closer, and he pokes her cheek. She turns away violently, growling something angry under her breath before getting up.

“How am I supposed to get any studying done around here?!”

She stomps towards the doorway, slamming it behind her. She watches as Kento brings more boxes into his room, stopping to take a break. He smiles at her sweetly, then approaches her after he’s set the last box down into her room.

“I’ve heard that…you have trouble getting into college. Is that true?” Kento asks her, trying to make conversation.

Her cheeks burn and she looks down at her feet, “Uh…well…yes.”

She wished even more so that the floor would swallow her up. Kento waves at her before heading outside to assess the situation of what the front entrance looks like. He picks up a broom and begins sweeping, cleaning up the sidewalk and the walkway into the home. There’s a lot of work to be done around this place. The last manager didn’t really do a good job at keeping the place fixed up and clean, but Kento isn’t a stranger to hard work. He’s got his hands full, but he’s going to work hard and work proudly. 

A loud commotion is heard from outside and Karin ducks her head outside the door to see Sei coming in. He stops at the front door, noticing the new animal that’s gracing the yard. Sei exclaims loudly as the dog pokes her nose out and begins licking the child’s face. Sei squeals softly.

“MOOOM!” Everyone comes rushing at the sound of this, noticing Sei and the dog happily getting along.

“Phew, and I thought you were dangerously hurt.” Mrs. Orito says, lighting up her cigarette as she sits on the porch.

Kimiko smirks, “Oh, so you’re a dog kind of guy.”

Kento steps over to the dog and rubs her ears, making the dog whine happily. He then smiles at the residents of the house. He was hoping that they wouldn’t have an issue with the dog, seeing as he was not about to part without Hinata. Hinata had been his best friend for some time now.

“This is my dog, Hinata.”

Mrs. Orito laughs, “Hinata? Ain’t that a name for a woman?”

Kento smiles down at the dog, “Exactly.”

Eventually, Mrs. Orito brings Sei inside after she’s done with her cigarette. Mr. Ide and Kimiko head back inside. Kento continues to sweep outside, leaving Karin feeling a bit dejected by all of this. With the new manager and everyone just teasing her, how else is she supposed to feel? She heads back inside, hoping that Mr. Ide would just leave her alone.

Kento enters the house once more after he’s done sweeping the entryway. Kimiko waits for him just outside the manager’s room. She’s got a trick up her sleeve, so she puts on her cutest pout. Kento smiles politely to her, and she beckons him closer.

“You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. I had mentioned it to the last manager, but he hasn’t been around in a long while,” Kimiko begins.

Kento nods, “Of course. I’m the manager now. You can tell me anything.”

With Karin watching them from her room doorway, Kimiko makes a move. She leans in closer, grabbing his hand gently and then reaching up on her tiptoes to be able to whisper something in his ear. Karin grumbles as she watches the scene before her. She’s green with envy.

“A peeping Tom? Er…peeping Tammy? Really?” Kento inquires, his stomach flipping with anxiety from the knowledge he’s just received.

Kimiko nods, “Yes, let me show you.”

She grabs him by the wrist, pulling him towards Karin’s room. Kimiko pushes Karin out of the way, claiming her to be a spy. Kento carefully assesses the situation, wondering when to intervene when it comes to these two young women. They seem to be mostly friendly towards one another, but if the situation from earlier should define anything, he has his doubts about what Kimiko has to say and figures she must love to gossip.

“See? Here’s the hole!” Kimiko announces, her finger pointed at the poorly patched hole in the wall.

Karin looks away, ashamed of what she’s being accused of. This isn’t exactly the best first impression for the young rōnin to make. Kento steps closer to the whole, inspecting it further. There was no disputing this; it was a poorly patched hole. 

“I swear it wasn’t me who made it!” Karin cries out, her head in her hands.

Kimiko pokes her in the chest, “Oh yeah?! Then who did? Rodents?”

Kento begins pulling the boards off, noting that he’ll have to do a bit of patchwork. But it would probably only take him the better part of the afternoon. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix. He finally looks back at the two young women, hoping for more of an explanation than he just got.

“Can’t you see how it’s coming from the other side?!” Karin exclaims, hoping to get the blame shifted to Mr. Ide.

Kimiko and Kento exchange a glance, and he then begins to think about who’s on the other side of the wall. A shiver runs down his spine. Already he thinks Karin is pretty cute, but he didn’t want to believe that one of his tenants was a pervert. He looks at her, eyebrow cocked.

“Isn’t…doesn’t that mean…” He begins, unable to finish his question.

Karin throws her hands up in defeat and walks back over to her desk. She sits down, unable to even answer that insinuation. Kento sighs, making his way back to his room. He’s got the tools and materials to fix up the holes in the wall. Maybe he’ll just choose to ignore the situation and not think about how this makes Karin look right now.

Kimiko sticks her tongue out at Karin, making the young rōnin flip her off. Then Kimiko stalks off, proud of herself for the drama she’s just caused. Karin returns to her studying. She’s got a test tomorrow, so she really should just be focused on that. Kento returns and he bends down to begin working on the holes in the wall.

The young rōnin looks over and her jaw drops again. How could he make something so simple look so good? Her eyes are nearly bulging out of her head. Kento then looks over at her, causing the heat to rise in her cheeks. She’s returning to her studies very quickly, humming in a way that makes her seem nonchalant. Kento smirks, but he’s also sporting a light dusting of pink on his own cheeks. It’s been a while since anyone has looked at him like that.

“So, it’s a review test, hm?” He asks as he begins fixing the wall.

“Rearview…is good?” Karin answers, staring at his butt.

Kento turns around, “Review test! I said "review test!”

“Oh uhm, yeah! Review test!” 

Karin scratches the back of her neck nervously, clearly getting caught in a troublesome situation. He was surely going to think she was a pervert now. Kento chuckles softly, returning to his work. For a little while, the pair work in silence. Karin finishes up her studying and Kento finishes patching up the wall. He stands up to admire his handiwork.

“Lookin’ good, manager!” Kimiko exclaims from the doorway.

Kento whips around to look at the young woman, his cheeks burning even more. Karin rolls her eyes, not wanting to show just how jealous she is that Kimiko is showing the new manager so much attention. Kimiko shrugs her shoulders and smiles.

“The patch job, I mean. It’s almost as good as new,” Kimiko explains, laughing softly.

Kento chuckles, “Well, thank you, Kimiko,”

Just then, Mr. Ide comes in and smirks at Kimiko. He has a few bottles of sake and some cans of beer in his arms. Mrs. Orito is just behind him, a playful look on her face. Karin is shaking her head, trying to signal to everyone that this wasn’t going to happen in her room at all. It just couldn’t happen in her room!

“Perfect timing, manager! Time to celebrate your homecomin’!” Mrs. Orito sits down at the chabudai.

“Oh– well, I guess I could have a drink.” Kento sits down with all of them.

Karin sighs loudly, trying to return to her studies once more. Of course, leave it to these whacky people to ruin her night. They all begin to drink, toasting to the new manager. Kento is kind, joining in on the festivities. Yet, in the back of his mind, he worries about Karin. She has a review test tomorrow. It could be detrimental to her if she doesn’t do well.

“Maybe we should move this to my room?” Kento suggests, hoping to get the other tenants to join in.

Kimiko leans in, a little more buzzed now, “Nahhh, come on. If the rōnin fails her test, she’ll have a reason why. Some people just want to play the victim.”

This is the last straw. Karin snaps her pencil once more, and she gets up. She opens the door, sliding it shut violently. There are tears in her eyes as she makes her way over to the entryway, opening the door to get just a bit more fresh air.

“Hey,” Kento calls from just behind her. “Are you alright, Karin?”

Karin turns to face him, a sarcastic smile on her face. “Does it look like I am?”

He shakes his head, sighing. “No, I suppose it doesn’t.”

He then places his hand on her shoulder and squeezes softly. She looks up at him, allowing their gazes to lock. She sees how his eyes are this brilliant amber color. Karin swears she could get lost in his eyes forever. Then she looks down, ashamed of everything that’s happened today.

“I wish they wouldn’t call you that nasty cruel name.” Kento finally says.

Karin cocks her head to the side, “rōnin?”

Kento nods, “Yes. It’s a terrible term. It’s hurtful.”

Karin is surprised to hear this from him. Was he a rōnin as well when he was her age? She knows it’s not the end of the world to be a rōnin. Lots of people take time off to study and get better at their craft. Though it would surprise her that someone like Kento would have been a rōnin. He just seems so well off.

“That’s what they used to call me…when I was unemployed. I uh…was a salaryman for a long time. Then, I was unemployed.”

Suddenly, Kento is shy and looking away from the young woman in front of him. Karin isn’t sure how to reply, so she steps forward and gently gives his shoulder a squeeze this  time. He smiles softly and looks at her once again.

“I became unemployed when my wife passed.”

Karin feels her heart drop. His wife? Did she hear correctly? There’s a frown that forms on her face, her heart aching for the man in front of him. He lost his wife and was called an awful name. It must have hurt him so much to see his former colleagues and friends treat him in such a way.

“Please, don’t worry about this. I have faith in you, Karin.”

His words ring loudly in her mind and then he reaches to tousle her hair so playfully. With that, he bids her goodnight and heads towards her room to kick the rest of the tenants out. The music and ruckus stops, with all the tenants piling out and giving Karin the stink eye.

But nothing else matters right now…all that mattered was that Kento had faith in Karin.

[paikothecateater]

Alright, I did tell you guys I'd give you an actual Gutters analysis.

I stated in my The Danish slaughterhouse rant that Gutters was such a good fanfic that it became infamous in the fandom. Later on while mentioning Gutters in passing that it was 'objectively bad' so which is it? Is my opinion on Gutters inconsistent? Did I get amnesia?

No.

Every time I've mentioned Gutters thus far has been in passing. I've never actually stated my full opinion on the fic.

The truth about Gutters is that it has potential, but it falls short due to a lot of reasons.

Before I get into this, a few disclaimers.

1) I feel more comfortable giving the author's username (at the time of writing this) because my criticisms have less to do with the author being a bad person and more to do with the author making a few mistakes.

2) once again, despite whatever I may say in this analysis, Do. Not. Harass. Glassmilk. This is never my intention with any fic analysis. Granted this disclaimer is less needed, but I will still reiterate that you, as the person reading this currently, are not to go after this author because of anything I say.

3) you'll notice that I said 'analysis' and not 'rant' this is because I do not want to give the impression that this fic is anywhere near as abhorrent as the Danish slaughterhouse.

4) my word is not law. This is my opinion and my opinion only. If you'd like to dispute it you may do so in a respectful manner. Just because you like this fic and don't want to accept that it has flaws, doesn't mean that someone else criticising it gives you the right to attack them.

5) spoilers.

Without further adieu, let's get into this.

Gutters is a story following Sealand and Denmark's quest to locate the rest of their family in a post-apocalyptic situation. They must do whatever they can to survive against the odds and find their way back to their loved ones. They face countless obstacles in the form of desperate people willing to kill to survive, Denmark's quickly deteriorating condition and betrayal from those they believed they could trust.

Denmark succeeds in returning Sealand to his parents at the cost of his own life.

It's an interesting premise and can be very emotional at times.

I think one of the main issues of this fanfic is the lack of alternating perspectives. All we ever see is Sealand and Denmark's side of events. I understand this is a common format in a lot of stories, but in this case, it causes the story to struggle in a number of ways.

This fic is presented in a third person point of view.

There are three common types of POVs in writing. The first, second and third person.

First: I said- I am Sealand

Second: you said- you are Sealand

Third: he/she said- he is Sealand.

This fic being in the third person means that Sealand is not narrating the story, he's being observed by the reader. As such, the story doesn't need to follow him and Denmark at every second. There are so many moments I would have loved to see through the characters' eyes that were only described vaguely and ended up contradicting themselves.

An example being Norway and Iceland finding one another. At first, it is implied that Iceland was on his own land when the whole situation occurred. Then, Norway would speed over to the island to rescue his little brother. That's what's implied at first, but by the end, Iceland says he was actually already in Norway when it happened.

It makes no sense.

Norway's immediate response to this apocalyptic event being rushing to rescue his little brother is such a great element. It would have been great to see Norway panicking while rushing over to the island, praying that he'd find his brother unscathed, being so relieved to find him in one piece.

It would have given Norway a softer look and made him much more heroic, but this moment was stolen from him in favour of a huge gaping plot hole.

Denmark was relieved upon hearing that a Norwegian boat had gotten to the island almost immediately because he knew Norway was behind it and had rescued Iceland.

How was Iceland not even there!? It makes no sense whatsoever.

This also causes Norway and Iceland to be completely banned from becoming sympathetic characters. There's a reason Denmark's death was so devastating. He was shown being heroic, having true genuine feelings and actually having a personality other than being a flat slab of cardboard.

If Norway had died it would have affected no one because he had actually no purpose to the story. He was again comparable to a cardboard cutout this whole fic.

If only your main characters got character development, you've singlehandedly butchered the very concept of character growth.

This becomes more prevalent towards the end, but I'll get into that in a little.

We come to my next point.

Why is this story so darn tedious?

I'll tell you why, because we spend so much time in unnecessary drama and not nearly enough time on actually focusing on our objective.

These side characters need to shut the hell up sometimes. Why do these irrelevant side characters get more dialogue than all the other Nordics combined?

I know what some of you might say.

'oh paiko, that's just world building. It's attention to detail.'

No, it isn't.

I do not need to hear about British dude 1's nephew's cousin's divorce to find out that 'some Swedish looking survivor was found' and no, I don't care what his nationality actually his, who cares!?

In a lot of stories, you'll find side characters that are totally irrelevant to the story, but they give the protagonist or the audience some form of information. Unless this character will be getting their own arc, they do not need this much writing. They serve no purpose to the story, just get them to say their lines and move on. If you want to give them personalities, sure, but they should not have this much page time.

I know, I know, you want to add all these cool details to show how much thought you put into your story, but come on! Let's speed shit up a bit!

The best way I can describe this is forgetting that you're writing a fic and not a novel. We. Do. Not. Have. Time. To. Dillydaly.

This leads me onto my next point.

Side characters.

Listen, I don't want to be mean, but Ida's existence is unnecessary. I get the feeling that maybe she's meant to be a self insert, but it doesn't make it any better. She serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

The representation of Poland is fucking criminal. Listen, hetalia is a show where we make fun of dumb stereotypes, but we're always making sure that the stereotypes are regarded with ridicule. The punchline is, haha, look at this stupid inaccurate belief about these people. Stereotypes can sometimes be funny, but sometimes they create awful impressions of people and can lead to anything from a slight wariness around a group of people to full on hatred and prejudice.

This fic reinforces several awful stereotypes, most damaging of which being 'tee hee all Polish people are apathetic, cruel crooks who are unreliable in times of need.'

Are you fucking kidding me? I don't think I need to out right say why this is fucking disgusting. Poland may be unserious and a little dismissive at times, but there is no way in hell he'd be so cruel as to deny Sealand and Denmark his assistance unless he got something in return. I understand that in this situation, realistically, Poland would also require help in the form of resources, but making it so that he's apathetic to their situation is so fucking awful.

Hey, if you want a character with this behaviour so bad, you could have added another one of your little insignificant nameless guys. It's so genuinely gross to misrepresent a country like this.

Poland is known to have a very strong sense of humour, but he's also known to be serious when it's necessary.

Another little issue I have is the boat scenario. I get it, we need tension, but why does it have to make no sense? The boat is designed to carry two people, no? Well here's the thing.

Denmark is described as being very thin and sickly during this fic and Sealand is of course a small child. Combined, they would weigh about the same as a healthy adult male. Even if for some reason it still wouldn't have worked, Poland would've no doubt told them this sooner. His excuse for saying nothing is that 'he's just trying to make a living for himself' but that... Also makes no sense. How does lying about being able to take the both of them help in making a living for him?

Then the boat ride in which Sealand is panicking, Poland is panicking and they're both worrying about Denmark. It's at this point that Poland gets a half assed redemption, but if you ask me, it does nothing.

You're telling me that suddenly Poland regrets stalling and wants to do the right thing? Because... What? I don't get why there's a sudden change of heart. If you're so insistent on making this character an ass hole who doesn't care about other people's situations, you have to be at least consistent with it.

Poland knows early on that Denmark is actively dying. He's even the one to tell Denmark that his land is almost entirely submerged, so why does abandoning Denmark for dead suddenly cause this dramatic shift. If he was capable of sympathy, he'd have displayed it from the beginning.

I honestly just hate what the author did with Poland as a whole.

I'm going to quickly run down this one.

The Netherlands, or as he's referred to by Denmark, Jan.

He betrays Denmark and Sealand for the purpose of saving his little sister. I can understand his motivations, but I also have a few problems with his character.

When you have a situation like this where a character must betray those they were once close with for the sake of someone else, the absolute best thing to add is that character's dying thoughts as they're shot by the protagonist.

We can see Jan's remorse at betraying Denmark and Sealand, his distress at failing to save his sister, his relief that he didn't end up killing his friends, anything to make the reader mourn his character.

Speaking of unsympathetic characters, what the fuck is happening with the other Nordics?

I already talked about the whale brothers' dynamic being completely shot in the back of the head and tossed in an oil barrel to be subsequently filled with wet concrete.

Realistically, Norway would be all over Iceland, absolutely sick with relief that even despite everything they're going through, they're still together. Neither Norway or Iceland regard one another the whole time past Iceland dropping the gaping plot hole that he and Norway were together the whole time.

The other Nordics are literally flatter than Switzerland's tragic ass.

Let's start with Finland.

I can count on one hand how many times he spoke in the entire fic. He added nothing. You might as well have killed him off to add some layer of despair, but no.

I don't like how Sweden and Denmark interact towards the end. I know they're the kind of guys who jokingly jab at each other, but Sweden shows no relief at seeing Denmark? I think the author doesn't understand that people abandon some behaviours in drastic times. Sweden cries upon seeing Sealand, but not Denmark? His closest friend since forever? Sure they had issues, but they've known one another for centuries.

Norway also has a super dry reaction to seeing Denmark. Norway would be super worried about seeing Denmark in this state.

This actually is a problem I have with Denmark.

Denmark on a few occasions briefly mentions being concerned for Iceland. Side note, when he does, I always feel like it's very... Uncaring? Also, he says something that absolutely hurt my brain 'oh Iceland is like my son, but he's not really like my son' sir, huh?

His reunion with Iceland is also very weak. Is the author allergic to writing any form of emotional moments?

The ending absolutely sucks, plain and simple.

No one other than Sealand is given an opportunity to grieve all of them just act like nothing happened. The most glaring example of this is Iceland.

He says nothing, he spends the time immediately after Denmark's death just... Gathering supplies? Again what's with the lack of fucks given about him? Everyone is concerned about Sealand, where the fuck is Iceland?

I can't stress how gross this is, further lighting the whale brothers on fire because you can't be bothered to show Norway being concerned about how Iceland is feeling?

Also, I don't think this author understands what being a teenager is. I hate it when authors try to age Iceland up by having him not display what they deem to be childish behaviour. Iceland, realistically, would be fucking hysterical. Especially considering he has been shown to especially show concern over Denmark in the manga. I know the whole 'oh it's a fic' argument, but I do not care. You put so much effort into unimportant details, but you can't even do a little bit of digging on the characters you're writing this fic about!?

The biggest issue is that, yes, the fic makes people cry, but not because it's written so well, but because people love Denmark. That's it.

[thelordofgifs]

very excited for the next tfs arc, hopefully maglor has time to recover from his many wounds in time to get more pincushion-ed. I love how maglor has the most and least plot armour simultaneously. Any pointed objects in a metre radius spontaneously attack him but he will. not. die. He persists.

Also, very funny that curufin is lost. You don't know where he is, he might not know where he is! He could be anywhere. He could be in your house! He could be in my house! If i see him i will let you know!

where did most of the feanorian soldiers go? If any of them are still loyal i imagine they could be useful later.

Anyway I'm looking forward to the return of everyone's favourite feral woodland princess!

Is thingol's fate going to change in this fic? The feanorions have even less political clout than they did in the silm so he's probably not going to be negotiated with without a really good argument. Without Celegorm and with Curufin missing/not going to do any more arguing and the lack of forces for them to use I don't know how a second kinslaying could happen but I am excited to find out!!

lol I think I’m going to give Maglor a little break from the pincushioning – he has Been Through It lately and now deserves a nice long rest in which to recover and get many hugs from Maedhros and prepare for his next character arc!

WHERE IS CURUFIN. WE DO NOT KNOW. tbh if he’s in anyone’s house it would be yours – he knows how much you love him!! Although I am now dying to see a giant wanted poster for Curufin. Or not even wanted in the criminal sense but more like a lost dog poster. Maedhros and Maglor can stick them up all over Hithlum like hi have you seen our lil brother he’s the absolute worst but we’d like to know where he is

Ok so I actually went down a rabbit hole here thinking about numbers. According to random websites whose sources I have not thoroughly checked, the average fatality rate in a medieval battle would have been about 10-15%, going up to maybe 25% for really bad ones. (Sadly the small sibling is away at university now so my usual source of military facts has disappeared.) Since the Nirnaeth was probably THE worst military defeat in the legendarium, and it involved Balrogs and dragons, we could put an upper limit of like 30% on fatality rates on the battles of Beleriand? Although Barahir somehow managed to get his entire fighting army presumably numbering at least a thousand down to thirteen guys so maybe that’s an underestimate! Also most fatalities taken by the losing side are apparently during the retreat, not the battle itself; and since Maglor managed to draw off the orc armies during the fall of Himring, let’s say that Maedhros lost… 15% of his people in the fight. So definitely a pretty bad defeat, but not awful. Then of the remaining 85%, let’s say 75% went south to Amon Ereb and the last 10% have decided to join up with Fingon instead. But Maedhros has explicitly renounced his command of them, so that lot aren’t really Fëanorian soldiers any more. Meanwhile Caranthir and Amras just received a LOT of reinforcements, not to mention some extremely confusing news about what’s been going on.

Anyway yessss I am SO excited to have our feral woodland princess back and causing trouble!! More than one person in the notes was wondering if she’d show up and stop either the execution or the fall of Himring as a whole and I felt really sad about not being able to do that, but the timelines just don’t work out. But she’s going to have Stuff to do (some of which I know about and some of it I only have very vague ideas about).

Ok so Thingol… I really need to do some thinking about him. What I can tell you is that the fall of Nargothrond, Húrin bringing the Nauglamír to Doriath, and the subsequent death via entirely preventable racism thing is not going to go down the same way in tfs as it does in canon (which isn’t to say none of those things will happen – but if they do happen, they’ll happen differently). So his fate is going to be different, but that doesn’t mean he’s going make it out okay necessarily! My instinct is to just make a bunch of people have conversations and see what conclusions they come to. The AU is going to get into some very uncharted territory soon, and I will absolutely be making everything up as I go.

Thank you for the ask ❤️❤️❤️

[juyeoniemyhoney]

love grows

Jaehyun has always loved nature. He loves the smell of grass and the colour of trees and the pretty cherry blossoms that fall from the trees at this time of the year. He loves the shape of clouds and is always in awe of how there could be rare, glittering stones beneath his very feet. Nature is so, so pretty to Jaehyun. But nature hasn't made anything quite as beautiful as you.

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader

genre: FLUFF x10000 ; mentions of model! jaehyun ; honestly just jae being the sweetest simp for u ; yeah he is def head over heels

warnings: mentions of jae having explicit thoughts about reader, it's not elaborated on ; mentions of being drunk ; a bit of vulgarities ; basically no plot but i will throw plot away for jaehyun brainrot anytime

words count: 2125 words

A/N: i literally saw jaehyun's recent on instagram and screamed the whole day until i wrote this fic. it's kinda short and the writing is kiiiinda stupid but i hope you guys like it anyway. ily guys sm stay safe and take care of yourself!

---------

The first thing that Jaehyun said after you confessed your undying love to him was that you wouldn't see him as often as you wanted to. He had said it like a warning, both to himself and you. Because yes, he wants to date you and god, does he like you but Jaehyun knows that it would mean hell for you if you dated. He's a model after all, constantly on his feet, always travelling, always on the move, always alone. He would love to be able to come home to you wrapped up in his sheets and he would love to feel the soft skin on your neck pressed against his face as he rants about his day. Jaehyun more than likes you, he maybe even loves you. But he is not a selfish man. So, because he couldn't bear to say no to you, he settled on warning you instead.

You, on the other hand, didn't care. You've been friends with Jaehyun for half of your life. You had already gotten used to seeing Jaehyun at the oddest and most random of times. Sometimes, you would see him every single day and at times you would see him once every three months. There was even a period of time you and Jaehyun had met up at four in the morning because that was when he got back from a job.

Needless to say, Jaehyun's warning was useless and the two of you had started dating. Sometimes you were long distance, sometimes you went on virtual dates where Jaehyun would video call you and bring you around the country he was in at the time and sometimes, the two of you would go on normal, in-person dates. For the most part, you and Jaehyun have a long-distance relationship. But that's what makes days like these all the more sweet.

As soon as you exit your apartment complex, a spring breeze blows your hair into your face, obscuring your vision. Jaehyun, who sees this, lets out a hearty laugh before helping you tuck the offending strands behind your ears, revealing the scowl you are levelling him with.

"I think I liked you better when you were behind a screen," you say meanly. Jaehyun simply laughs again, cupping your face with both his hands before pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. When he pulls back, Jaehyun's smile is so bright you almost begin to squint and when you see his dimple poke a hole into his cheek, you almost forget your faux anger in favour of cooing and kissing him all over.

"Now, don't say that," he says, taking your hand and beginning your walk. "If I remember correctly, you were the one begging my manager to not schedule anything for the next year that one time you were drunk."

"Why would you bring that up now," you groan, letting go of Jaehyun's hand to hide your reddening face behind it. Jaehyun laughs again and slings an arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his side as the two of you make your way towards the park.

Already, you can see the brilliant cherry blossoms in the distance, the light pink petals fluttering as the wind carries them across the blue sky. At the sight, the both of you fall silent in excitement, pace quickening to see the cherry blossoms fall like snow in all of its majesty, to finally feel the soft petals against your face, to smell the flower so strongly it is as if the air has been tainted with its sweet nectar, petals flittering and falling all around you.

Jaehyun begins to think. He realises that he is always laughing around you, like he can't help it, like his body is just programmed to laugh and smile and hum in unadulterated jubilance when he is in your presence. It's just, it feels so nice to be around you, to feel your hand in his, to feel your silky hair and your pliant cheeks and your radiant warmth. Jaehyun also realises that when you are blushing, your ears dust a light pink and he likens it to a cherry blossom petal, small and pink and so cute he has to physically restrain himself from sinking his teeth into the shell of your pink ear.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask as the two of you reach the entrance of the park. The falling petals intensify but up ahead where the bulk of the trees are, the petals fall like a snowstorm. You're not quite there yet.

"You," Jaehyun replies without a moment's hesitation. When is he not thinking about you? Never, his brain supplies and he smiles secretly because it's the truth.

"What about me?"

Jaehyun hesitates to tell you, not because he doesn't want to. If anything, he wants to tell you every single thought that crosses his mind, good and bad, sweet and explicit, nice and horrifying. He just looked up and saw how fluffy the clouds were and was left in awe for a moment, is all.

"Your ears," Jaehyun finally says, snatching his attention from the clouds to you, dimple indenting his cheek as he smiles softly.

You let out a surprised laugh, expecting him to say your eyes or your smile or your laugh, not at all expecting him to be romanticising your ears of all your attractive features.

"Okay," you say with a smile, pulling out from under Jaehyun's arm in favour of fitting your hand into his, intertwining your fingers and swinging the linked appendages between the two of you. "What about my ears, then?"

Jaehyun realises that when you smile, your cheeks puff up and bunch all together in the most endearing way and he again, has to restrain himself from reaching down to pinch your cheeks in adoration, knowing full well how much you hate when people do that. He wonders if the clouds are as soft as your cheeks. He bets that your cheeks are softer.

"When you blush, the pink at the tips of your ears resembles the colour of a cherry blossom," Jaehyun finally says with a smile, feeling the warmth of your hand travel all the way up his arm and to his heart, where it spreads and spreads and spreads throughout his body, until it reaches the apples of his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

The smile you give Jaehyun at this newfound information spreads a new kind of warmth in his chest, it feels hot and it makes him sweat a little bit. The warmth gathers at the base of his stomach and he feels like a meadow will start growing there, tiny blades of grass rooting themselves into the pit of his stomach, eventually giving way to pretty flowers that attract butterflies that swarm his gut. And he likes this feeling, loves it even.

You see, Jaehyun has always loved nature. He loves the smell of grass and the colour of trees and the pretty cherry blossoms that fall from the trees at this time of the year. Before you, he used to feel like hard, barren soil. But now, he feels like a thick forest, full of exotic flowers and thick shrubbery and tall trees and butterflies. So, so many butterflies, its wings always tickling the walls of his stomach or his diaphragm or the base of his throat. And with all these things growing within him, he feels so full of life.

"That's nice, I guess," you finally say, getting over your initial bashfulness. Jaehyun is always like this, saying things unintentionally romantic. You don't even really think your ears looking like the colour of cherry blossoms is a compliment or romantic at all. But what gets you so shy is how Jaehyun is somehow always relating everything to you, like everywhere he looks, he only sees you.

Sometimes, you think it's his love language: to see you in everything, and everything in you, to always be reminded of you no matter what part of the world he is in, like you are always with him in one way or another.

The thought makes you flush all the way down to your neck and you drop your gaze to the path beneath you in an attempt to hide it from Jaehyun.

"Y/N," Jaehyun calls your name, jostling your hand with his. You snap your gaze up to meet his with a soft hum, hoping that the flush on your neck has died down.

"Look," he says, pointing forward. Your eyes, instead of immediately snapping to where Jaehyun is pointing, drag down from his mirthful eyes, to his straight nose, to his sweet dimple, to his rosy lips, to his soft neck, to his defined arm, to his blue-veined wrist, to his large hands, to his lithe fingers, before begrudgingly following the direction that his finger points in.

And immediately after your eyes leave his fingers, the view elicits an awestruck gasp from you. Because you are here, in the thick of it, where cherry blossom petals fall from its trees like snow, the spring wind shaking them from their flowers before they are carried away by the same wind.

It's nothing short of magic. And Jaehyun watches as a light turns on behind your eyes, your smile so wide he fears your face is going to split into two. Jaehyun watches as you squeal in excitement, hastening your steps into a jog, dragging him along by your intertwined hands as you say something about wanting to take pictures with your camera. Jaehyun watches as the petals fall all around you and into your hair and watches as the petals delicately brush against your skin. He watches as you let go of his hand to pull your camera from your bag and watches as you snap picture after picture after picture.

As he watches you, Jaehyun realises he doesn't really love nature all that much. Not as much as he loves you, at least. Because if he were here alone, sure, it would be very pretty. But Jaehyun realises that because you're here, it's enchanting; every petal that falls into your hair, every emerald tree that surrounds you, every blade of grass, every flower planted in the soil is absolutely breathtaking, especially when he cannot look at a single petal without imagining your dainty ears. He cannot look at a tree without likening the deep brown of the bark to the colour of your irises. He cannot look at a single flower without wondering how you would look with it tucked into your silky hair.

Now, Jaehyun is not one to take pictures, preferring to live in the moment instead of missing it because he was too busy fumbling with his phone or camera settings. But in this moment, how can he not? When you look like that, and he feels like this, his heart so swollen with love that it cannot quite contain it anymore. He decides he has to remember this moment forever, has to embed it so deep into his mind that he cannot bear to forget.

Lifting his phone, he snaps a few pictures. It's sloppy and he is sure if you had control over the picture, you would have fussed about the lighting and the angle and the pose you are in. But Jaehyun doesn't care, only caring to lift the phone to the same height as his face, so that it is taken from his point of view.

He smiles, satisfied, locking his phone like he is locking this moment away in his memories, one he will keep and remember for aeons and beyond.

"Jae!" he hears you call out to him and he smiles as he sees you running towards him. When you reach him, he lifts his hand to brush the petals that refuse to leave your hair but decides against it, wanting to keep the magic a little longer.

"Look at that cloud! It looks like a bear!" you cry in excitement, pointing to the sky in urgency, praying that the clouds don't float away from each other and ruin the perfect bear that it had formed earlier.

"Huh, it does look like a bear," Jaehyun agrees slowly, smiling down at you as you continue to look at the cloud in awe, eyes shining so prettily, he can't help but press a kiss to your temple with a smile.

As you continue to admire the sky, Jaehyun begins to think again. Nature has made such beautiful things, the sky, the clouds, flowers of every shape and colour, and glittering stones of a rarity worth all the money in the world. But Jaehyun realises that nature hasn't made anything quite as beautiful as you.

[flowerflamestars]

Ok I’ve been obsessed with your acotar analysis but now I’m doubly obsessed with Rhys’ mother. Curious for your take: what do you think public perception of her was like? I absolutely believe she was a badass, and I’m pretty sure she was convincing her mate (and son eventually) to make changes in Illyria (not that I have book quotes to back this up but I seriously doubt Rhys came up with the clipping ban on his own). But as the ONLY Illyrian females who could still fly, how did everyone else think of Rhysand’s mom and sister? Was it a jealousy thing? Were they totally separate? I find it hard to believe that the mom cut all ties to her homeland, despite the scars it left on her. I’m sure she also showed her daughter aspects of the place she grew up in, even if she couldn’t throw her in a training ring. So they were present in Illyria, not some faceless ruler and his family. Were they a source of hope? Like “here is the beginning” and we can fight for our daughters and their daughters? In case it isn’t obvious, I’m enamored with the black hole sized plot holes courtesy of sjm and I’m determined to come up with my own answers 😅

I am also enamored, trust me!

So, to answer your question, I have to first present the nuance I like to jam into my acotar fic that the books just...don't really address: the Illyrian generals and camp lords and men in charge who we meet in canon exclusively to showcase shittiness...aren't the entire Illyrian population? They can't be. So I tend to divide it between the military elite (whatever we want to call them), whose powers are shored up directly by Rhysand's authority (gotta have that standing army), and whoever is falling through the cracks, or just existing in a culture that feels hostile to them (like Emerie).

I think the people in charge could have initially viewed Rhysand's mother as a sort of win- from what I can tell, Illyrians don't even leave Illyria? Unless there's a war on, or they're invited by a member of the royal family. They all symbolically rise with her.

BUT, because so much of her existence- and I have to imagine, personality- went against their core traditions, ultimately it's some flavor of negative reaction.

For everyone else? Bastard children and women and...god, basically anyone who isn't a giant man who likes to obliterate things (have I mentioned, how incredibly one note and BAD the whole Illyrian set up is? Bad.), she's a win. She's hope and her children redouble that, a future where there's more than violence.

I'm sure there's also jealously or misinformation or all-out adoration, she's functionally a public figure.

What I do think was probably VERY important, is what her life said to everyone else in the Night Court. All is Prythian is stratified to the point where people are either High Fae (gentry???) or Low Fae (anyone who doesn't look like human++ but also, probably a huge amount of the population??).

A High Lord publicly took a low fae woman, from an incredibly despised minority, as his wife. His mate. His equal? Rhysand might be ultimately a failure of legacy in every direction, but the fact that he exists at all is probably ground-breaking?

This is, of course, sort of the underpinning for the argument that Daddy Rhysand probably actually cared. Because it didn't have to be that. The Night Court has the exact kind of nightmare sexist culture that would allow him to do whatever he wanted with her, and he choose queen.

Which...actually in retrospect makes Rhysand's whole incredibly stupid here are my wings, we come as we are to...start fistfights on neutral territory and act like children move in acowar extra funny, because it means we're supposed to believe the Night Court is really SO ISOLATED (especially when we're told that the Lords used to have summits and very clearly socially know each other), no one ever knew or wondered about his mom, who at least some of them probably met?? Or, at minimum, saw from a distance with her husband?

God, these books.

Anyway- I think she probably was a big deal, and like most people who draw that kind of attention for breaking the mold, she received both crazy negative and wildly hopeful feelings from the public. She meant something, and the fact that the future she signaled never happened is a tragedy the books aren't prepared or willing to address.

[promenadewithme]

Heyy, congratulations on 50 followers! Could you write something for Finnick Odair (fluff with a little bit of angst?) based on the lyrics "How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? It's just something that I want to do, I'll be taking my time, spending my life, Falling deeper in love with you, So tell me that you love me too" from 'How would you feel' with a female reader. Please make whatever changes you want, absolutely adore all your writing :))

Ok so I loved this request because I love Finnick so much!! I really hope you like this! I'm sorry I took a bit longer to write this, I had a lot of uni work and studying to do this week.

requested by @boxofsilentwords

This is my first Finnick fic, so I'm nervous... Any and all feedback is more than welcome!

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Female! Reader

Song: How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran

Warnings: Mentions of killing (nothing graphic), swearing, the hunger games, pining, fluff. Just before the 75th Hunger Games (Catching fire book/movie), but I changed the plot a bit so it would fit the story, Mags doesn’t go with Finnick, the reader does. 

Word Count: 1,2k

Divider made by me on @promenadewithme-graphics​

How Would You Feel

There were soldiers surrounding all the victors as you got up on the platform. Your whole body was shaking. ‘Why is this happening? I already won! I’m not supposed to be here’. You looked to your right and saw your best friend, Finnick Odair, and 3 other male tributes. To your left was Annie Cresta and Mags, who was squeezing your hand.

“As always, ladies first!” said the district 4 escort with a wild grin. You don’t understand how they slept at night, sending people off to fight to their deaths every year, watching like it’s fiction. These were real people, who had families, lives, dreams. You had dreams. 

The escort grabbed one of the envelopes and walked back to the microphone.

“Let’s see...” he opened it and with glee he exclaimed “(y/n) (y/l/n)! Come on over, dear!” 

You looked at Finnick with desperation in your eyes before giving Mags’ hand one last squeeze and walking away. You felt like the world around you was shrinking, like there was no air to breathe. The escort’s voice was but a whisper until your heard what you dreaded more than your own death.

“Finnick Odair!” you looked at your best friend with fear in your eyes. Most would be happy to go into the arena with an ally, but this was Finn. This was your Finn. Well, you couldn’t exactly call him yours, you two were just friends. But you have always loved him. Despite his many lovers, you always stood by him, hoping he would see you. He never did.

“May the odds be ever in your favour.” 

‘And let the hunger games begin’ you thought, looking over at Finnick. He was looking back at you with a plain face, but you could see the pure terror in his eyes. ‘The arena messes with all of us, no matter how tough or brave you are. What happens when you go in twice?’

“And those two are Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from District 12, they won last year’s game.” depicted your escort. You and Finnick were staying at the tributes building. Fourth floor for district 4, as per usual. Over the past days you had come to terms with the fact that you were going back into the arena. That didn’t mean you weren’t scared shitless.

“What else do you know about them?” asked the man. You had watched the games last year. For the first time, you actually liked the victors. So you exposed what you knew.

“Katniss is a hunter, excellent with a bow and arrow, great survival instincts. Peeta is very strong and good at camouflage. The two of them are getting married. Well... at least they were before all this.” you frowned and Finnick scoffed.

“Do you seriously believe that they are in love? They must be jumping with joy that they get to call it off.” he shook his head.

“What do you mean? You saw the games last year, they are obviously in love. They were going to die together.” you refuted, turning to face him.

“Please! The two tributes that are chosen are actually secretly love each other to the point that they would die for one another, they both win the game and live happily ever after? This is the real world, (y/n). These things don’t happen.”

Your heart tightened, but he was right. The couple had given you hope that maybe Finnick would love you too, that even the worst situations could bring some sort of happiness. You now realised it wouldn’t happen. Your love was unrequited, the two of you were going to the arena, but only one of you would come out. If both of you weren’t killed, that is.

“You’re right, they don’t.” you frowned. Your escort continued to talk about the games and how to look good in the eyes of the public, but you didn’t care. It’s not like you’d make it out alive a second time. You barely did the first, in the 66th hunger games.

You went in a year after Finnick, you were so young and so was he. Maybe that's why the two of you bonded in the first place, having to be strong so early in life isn't something easy. Having to carry the weight of killing that young isn't either.

"Excuse me." you muttered before going to your room, Finnick following suit.

"What's wrong?" he demanded.

"What's wrong? Are you seriously asking me that? What's wrong?!" you exclaimed. "What's wrong is that we already went through this. What's wrong is that this happens every fucking year and no one does anything to stop it. What's wrong is that I am terrified that I'll die, or even worse, that you'll die. Because I don't think I can live without you." tears were streaming down your face as you continued, voice getting lower with each sentence "What's wrong is that I am head over heels in love with you, have been for years now by the way, and you never even noticed me."

You gasped and covered your mouth. What have I done? you thought as Finnick looked at you in shock.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Nothing, just please forget I ever said anything." you begged, going into the bathroom. Yet again, Finnick followed you.

"You love me?" he gawked.

"No?" you tried answering, but it came out sounding like a question. You wanted to dig a hole where you could hide, you were mortified. But when you looked at Finn, he was grinning.

"You love me!"

"Oh God." you hid your face in your hands "Please don't tease me about this."

You felt a pair of hands on yours, removing them from your face.

"Look at me." he whispered. You hesitated for a second, but did what he said. He was smiling softly at you.

"How would you feel if I told you I loved you?" he asked and it was your turn to be shocked.

"What?"

"It's just something that I want to do. Well, I've been wanting to do it for a while now. I just didn't know you felt the same." he confided and you grinned, but it quickly turned into a frown.

"What do we do? The games- We..." tears were forming in your eyes again. He put his arms around you in a tight hug.

"I'll get us both out, I swear I will." he vowed.

"You can't promise me that, Finn. There can only be one victor."

"There was an exception last year, why can't we do it again? But that's no what I'm planning. There's- " he stopped for a second "I can't tell you right now what I know, but I promise we will get out. And after that," he smiled at you, caressing your face "I'll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too."

You wanted to argue with him, make him tell you, but you didn't want to ruin the moment. So, you put your head on his chest and let him hold you.

“I love you, Finnick.” you mumbled into his chest, wishing it could last forever. Wishing you didn't have to go back to the arena or at least that the odds would truly be in your favour.

General tag list: @for-bebbanburg @power-of-words23 @elenapatricia99

The Hunger Games tag list:

Finnick Odair tag list:

tell me if you want to be added to my tag list!

[onceuponastory]

guilty - b.b x reader

Darling, darling, darling, let me sing to you Let me sing to you, let me sing to you Darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you Let you into all the homes that fear has made of me How the shingles fall like dust beside your company - little words: the happy fits (also you should check out the happy fits, cause their music is really good! highly recommend.)

Plot: Bucky tells his girlfriend Y/N the truth about his past...and all the bodies left in his wake. A/N: My friends requested Bucky being told that what happened to him and what he did as The Winter Soldier wasn’t his fault. They also wanted to see more emotional Bucky, like the opening scene of TFATWS episode 4, so I happily obliged! cause Bucky Barnes is not a villain and if you think he is gtfo.  Also, chapter 2 of ever after is coming, it’s just these chapters are turning out to be way longer than I first thought, lmao. Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, torture, death...basically everything Bucky did as TWS. Also a lot of self loathing. This is a very angsty fic, but there’s a happy ending!

There are a lot of things in life that Bucky Barnes hates. The rain, for one thing. And John Walker. But most of all, what Bucky hates is feeling guilty. And with a past stained with as much blood as his...he has a lot to feel guilty about. It’s not that Bucky doesn’t want to feel guilty or atone for what he did, completely the opposite, in fact. He hates being unable to sleep at night without hearing screaming or seeing the blood he spilt. In all honesty, Bucky just wants it to stop. He hates closing his eyes every night and dreads actually falling asleep because he knows that’s when the nightmares begin. 

Bucky peers over from his spot on the couch to watch his girlfriend Y/N as she cleans up the things from dinner. She’s always been so sweet to him, and it breaks his heart to know that he’s not the kind of person she thinks he is. The complete opposite, actually. But most of all, Bucky hates how he knows he still hasn’t told her about his past and the type of person he used to be. He doesn’t want to tell her, not wanting to destroy her happiness.  Bucky imagines how she’ll react when he tells her. Probably run screaming in the other direction, or dump him immediately. And even though it breaks his heart to imagine that...he knows it’s what he deserves. But first, he has to tell her..and he’s going to do it today...If he can work up the guts to tell her, that is.

“Y/N? Doll? Can you come here for a sec? Please?” Bucky asks, trying to make his voice more serious, but still hating how nervous he sounds. Y/N walks over to him. She raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. Bucky clears his throat and pats the seat beside him on the couch, motioning for her to sit, which she does. 

“Buck? What’s going on?” She asks. Bucky tries not to wince at the fact she used his nickname. It still feels weird to him. Weird that he’s still alive, still loved by people enough to have a nickname, to have a girlfriend, and to be given a chance at redemption...even with all this blood on his hands. And when all the people he killed didn’t even have the opportunity to grow old and be loved. He ruined so many lives. Why should he be the one to find happiness? Why isn’t he the one who died? “Bucky?” Y/N cuts into his thoughts. She’s looking up at him, her eyes full of concern. Again, Bucky wonders what will happen when he tells her the truth. Will she even love him anymore? Or will she run for the hills?

“I uh...” He clears his throat. “I have something I need to tell you.” Her eyes widen slightly, and before Bucky can even think about what he’s going to say next, she asks:

“Did you cheat on me? Please tell me you didn’t.” For a moment, Bucky considers lying and telling her that he did cheat. Even though it’ll break her heart, it’s a lot better than admitting you’re responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, regardless of whether or not he was brainwashed into doing so. That way, he can protect her from ever finding out the truth. She’d leave, and he could go back to being alone. Even though the very idea of losing Y/N and being alone forever hurts, Bucky knows that it’s the least of what he deserves. “Bucky, please. Just tell me the truth.” She pleads, and Bucky can see her eyes glistening with tears. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it and hopefully work through it.” Bucky’s not too sure about that one. He sighs. Even though the truth was a lot worse, Bucky knows Y/N deserves to hear it...even if it might destroy their relationship.

“No, it’s not like that. I didn’t cheat.” Y/N sighs, and relief floods her features.

“Good. I didn’t think you would do that to me. You’re not that kind of person.” Bucky feels his heart shatter. She doesn’t even know the kind of person he really was. The merciless killer. The Winter Soldier. Someone responsible for so much pain and suffering. Bucky takes her hands. He runs his non-metal thumb over her knuckles, trying not to stare too long at his metal arm and hand. Even though he was given a different one in Wakanda, one not tied to suffering, one without blood on it...seeing his metal arm still reminds him of the pain his previous one caused. “What do you need to tell me?”

“Um...” He sighs, trying to find the words. “Remember ages ago, when Sam said something happened to me? Something bad?” Y/N nods. “Well...he wasn’t exactly honest. I mean, yeah, something bad happened to me. But I did something bad. Something...worse.” She frowns. “Back when I was in World War Two with Steve, my unit got captured, and they experimented on me.”

“I know this. You and Steve told me.” Y/N cuts him off. 

“I know...but you don’t know the full extent of it.” Bucky sighs, memories flooding his brain. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to block them out. “They injected me with super-soldier serum, which helped me to survive the train fall, as you know.” She nods, listening intently. “Well. I didn’t just sit and wait for Steve to find me or escape heroically or anything. I, um...I....” He takes a deep breath. Y/N squeezes his hand, and Bucky almost breaks down in tears right then. She’s too sweet for him. He doesn’t deserve her. “I was taken by the Soviet Wing of Hydra, and they wiped my memories, implanted these...trigger words in me so I’d do whatever they want. I became their...assassin.”

“What are you saying?” She asks.

“I’m saying...I was the Winter Soldier. The monster that killed innocent people and injured countless others. I’ve left so many bodies in my wake...and done so many bad things Y/N. And I don’t deserve any of...this.” He waves his free hand around at the apartment they’re both in...and at her. Y/N blinks back at him, looking slightly shocked at Bucky’s revelation. “And I definitely don’t deserve someone like you. Not after what I did or who I was. The person who tried to kill Steve, Sam, Fury and Nat-”

“But you didn’t, Bucky, you-” She leans in closer, reaching her hand closer to the forearm of his metal arm.

“BUT I TRIED TO!” He exclaims, cutting her off as he jerks his metal arm back. Y/N jumps back a little, a look of fear crossing her face for a moment. That makes Bucky feel even worse. Even though Ayo and Shuri helped rehabilitate him, and Ayo removed his trigger words, Bucky has spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning. He stays awake almost all night, wondering how much of The Winter Soldier remains within him and whether he’d hurt or scare anyone that way again. Seeing the look of fear on Y/N’s face tells him only one thing: he’s still the same monster he was before. And now he’s scared the one person he wanted to protect. Bucky panics, and his stomach drops. Drops into a black hole that he wishes would swallow him whole. “I’m sorry, I-I I didn’t mean to-” He stammers, tripping over his words. Tears threaten to spill over, and he gets up from the couch quickly. “I’m sorry....I-I should just go. Maybe just...don’t contact me. I don’t want to hurt you o-or...” Without another word, Bucky walks towards the door. 

“Bucky! Bucky, wait!” He hears Y/N following him, and he tries to speed up to avoid her. “Wait, please! Please...don’t leave.” Bucky opens the front door to her apartment, and she runs in front of him, shielding the door with her body and placing her arms out so he can’t get by her. Bucky sighs. In the past, with his true strength, he could easily move her out of the way. But of course, there’s no way he would hurt her...at least, any more than he probably already has. 

“Y/N. Let me get past, please.” He mumbles, and she shakes her head. “Doll....”

“No. I’m not moving.”

“Look, it’s better for both of us if I just go. I’m a monster. I always have been and always will be. That serum that turned me into this monster is still in my veins. Who’s to know when it will strike again, even stronger, or if I hurt you? I can’t do that. I have to go.” He argues back, his voice quieter and shaky.

“No. You don’t. I’m not going to let you.” 

“Y/N.” He sighs again, exasperated. “I don’t know why you’re fighting this so much. I mean...it’s nice, but trust me, I don’t deserve it. Now...” He leans in and presses a delicate kiss to her forehead. But despite how delicately he kisses her, there’s still pain behind that kiss. The pain of leaving Y/N, the only woman he’s ever loved, forever. Bucky almost scoffs at that. Even when he’s trying to be tender and loving...all he does is cause pain. But after everything he’s done, Bucky knows that pain is what he deserves. And Y/N deserves someone better than him. Even though saying that still breaks his heart, he knows it’s true. “You need to let me go. Please. Just let me go.” He whispers, tears falling slowly down his cheeks. Y/N shakes her head again.

“No. Stop asking me to, because I won’t.”

“Why not? You know-”

“Because!” She shouts, snapping her head up to him, tears filling her eyes too. “...Because I’m in love with you, Bucky, and hearing you talk about yourself like that, and saying you don’t deserve to be loved...it breaks my heart.” Bucky blinks at her, confused.

“But-but I did so many bad things!”

“When you were brainwashed!” She snaps back. “I know you killed people. But it wasn’t your choice. Was it?” She asks. Bucky shakes his head. Of course, it wasn’t his choice...but he still did it. And he still has to live with it. “See? It wasn’t you, Bucky. They turned you into that person. It wasn’t your conscious choice.” 

“But I-” Bucky tries to argue back, but Y/N interrupts him again

“Listen. The way I see it, you were kidnapped whilst you were trying to save the world. And when that happened, they tortured you and forced the serum on you whilst Steve chose to get it, right?” Bucky nods. “And then, they kidnapped you again, wiped your memories and forced you to kill all those people.”

“Well, yes, but I-”

“Bucky. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your choice. It's not your fault. I know you didn’t want to do those horrible things. And you’re atoning for them, aren’t you?” Bucky frowns.

“How...how do you know that?”

“I found your notebook. Sam told me it used to be Steve’s. I uh...I had a look inside and saw a list of names. Are those the people you wronged?” Bucky nods, feeling tears growing in his eyes again. 

“My uh...my therapist suggested it would be useful. It’s part of my pardon, I think. But I wanted to anyway.” 

Y/N’s eyes soften. “See Bucky? The fact you’re atoning and that you actually want to, means so much about you. You’re trying to do the right thing.” She steps forward and gently takes his hands in hers. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Because I know that’s not you. It wasn’t you then, and it’s not now. You’re the kind of guy who brings me ice cream when I’m upset, who laughs at pictures and videos of cats, and sings along to Disney films with me. You’re not a killer. You are not The Winter Soldier. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” Bucky is silent for a while, as he can’t even think of something to say. He’s simply overwhelmed with emotion and the feeling of having someone like Y/N loving and supporting him. So overwhelmed, in fact, that he starts crying. Actually, he starts sobbing as the years of pent up emotion spill over. Y/N wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer. Bucky doesn’t even try to stop her, and just wraps his arms around her in return. He feels like his legs are about to give way at any moment and that he’s definitely covering her outfit in snot and tears, but she doesn’t seem to care. All she does is repeat: “You are not The Winter Soldier anymore. Your name is James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and it’s not your fault.” She continues this phrase, trying to drill into Bucky that it’s not his fault. After a while, Bucky feels his legs give out, and the pair crash to the floor, but Y/N doesn’t let go. She squeezes him even tighter as Bucky’s body shakes as he cries, so tightly it’s as if she’s trying to transfer all her love and warmth into him. “I love you. So much.” She whispers, softly kissing him on the lips.

“I love you too.” Bucky whispers. Y/N pulls away and looks over at him, her eyes full of love and support.

“I’m here for you. I always will be. You deserve love. It’s not your fault Bucky. It never was.” She whispers. And for the first time in forever...Bucky starts to believe that. Of course, he knows he still has a lot of healing and therapy to go through. But, he knows that as long as he has Y/N there to support him, he’ll be okay.

[missallsundayyy]

Could you write a story where Law takes Robin's first time and she's first all hesitant and shy about it? But he really can't control himself. Just read all your stories in your masterlist and my gosh it's beautiful

I TRIED MY VERY BEST TO WRITE THIS AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORIES I APPRECIATE IT ALOT 🥺❤️ PORN WITHOUT PLOT BCOS IM GOING STRAIGHT FOR IT. Thank you for requesting this fic i’ll try to cater to every request because I KNOWWW THE FEELING LIKE I GOT YOU! I even have a perfect picture to match the plot of the story xx

RESEARCH

“You’re a damn tease woman..” he scowled while attacking her neck giving wet open kisses all the way down to her collarbone. “I can’t hold myself back if you’re going to wear provocative outfits” he said, palming her left breast roughly.

“Mhmm la-law...please..” she whispered. He chuckled ceasing his actions, “You know how hard It was to convince your crew to let me borrow their beloved archeologist….to help me decipher my research…” he stopped to look at the now bare and naked beauty below him, her face away from him Her nipples were perky and erected and not to mention the size of her breast...it was enormous almost covered her whole entire face which was now looking at anything but him. She was shy and he most definitely didn’t expect this from the confident and collected Nico Robin. It was a whole nother persona right in front of him and he was enjoying every second of it. The woman below him could easily use her devil fruit powers and snap every bone he has and stop him but no...every touch he placed on her body made her caved into him. Her body sensitivity was heightened for him, his touch, his kisses and his presence. “ fuckk look at you, you’re so beautiful underneath me, bare like this and on my sheets.” he grunt, his boner was evident and growing harder and larger by the second.

“Baka! Don’t say embarrassing things like that” she squeaked out turning to face the pirate captain. He laughed “Your crew gave me only 2 days with you and at this rate i think i’ll use it to fuck you senseless here in my room since you prefer to be in here more. Maybe I'll take you in my operating room tool so that I could always remember you when we’re apart.” he said confidently.

Needless to say the historian’s face was beet in colour, she was embarrassed by his bold words and never did she expected Trafalgar Law to have such a foul mouth.

“La--law-kun, i--” Robin stuttered, finding it hard to put her words together. He has her right where he wants her and she is starting to get hesitant like could she even handle him. Maybe it was a bad idea to tease him too much. He had always known her ways of flirting with him but she guessed when she broke into his room in a white spaghetti strapped top that literally does nothing to hide her enormous breast with a pair of jean shorts to sneak around his room and see his personal collection of books he owned was apparently the last straw for him.

“Look at you, the pirate goddess with 130million berries, a strong willed woman with an extraordinary beam of confidence and elegance...looking so reticent and self conscious right below me.” Law said with a smirk lifting one finger to bring her chin up, facing her to him. “Don’t be shy with me Nico-ya, you’re the only woman that has successfully made me so riveted. Your beauty has captivated me since the day I first saw you and can you imagine how keen I was to know you when I found out how smart, wise and pacific you are.”

Robin was touched by his confession and before she could reply he continued “I like you Nico-ya. I like you so much and I’ll make you feel so good and I will only put you and your pleasure first.” His fingers were already ghosting her entrance that was already slick and wet, she was so horny for him and was solely turned on with just his voice and also mostly with how Law presents himself. He was in short, Robin’s type.

“So wet…..all for me” he slipped one digit in and she threw her head back with a whine.

“M...more please, go faster!” she moaned softly bringing her palms to cover her mouth. He smiled and added three of his fingers in all the way and lunged all digits in a quick and hot pace, he was fingering her and she wasn’t mentally prepared for such swift and agile pace because when she asked him to be fast she didn’t THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FAST. She missed the part where she was a complete total virgin but of course she wasn't entirely innocent either. She was still a woman with sexual needs but sexual intercourse was never relevant to her since she was dead focused with her life goal. She never did thought that pleasure would feel this fucking good or maybe because its him that's bestowing it. Law had awakened her needs and reminded her that aside everything else she needed this and she deserved intimacy and she deserved to be touched and pleasured.

Her vision was clouded with a layer of tears, her mind was hazy and she was on cloud 9 and he was only doing the bare minimum. He brought his hands and gripped her neck, bringing her back to reality.

“Feel good my love? Look at me c'mon..” when she locked eyes with the doctor she felt her insides throb more and not just from the invasion of his fingers. She could feel her juices gushing out and dripping on his hands from the way his knuckles or hand would ever so bump the side of her thighs. “Hhh-hai! Feels so...mhmmmm full” her eyes couldn’t take the intense pleasure anymore she had to break their gaze and her eyes fluttered and closed momentarily and he took the opportunity and dived face first into her wet hole and gave her a viscous long hard lick.

Robin’s eyes flew wide open with her both hands instinctively grabbing his shoulders and hair pulling it roughly.

“Ohhh!” she moaned out and he was eating her out vigorously, she was a lost cause the moment his mouth made contact with her pussy. He made her a moaning hot mess, her fingers raked his scalp, pulling and tugging his hair softly while pressing his face deeper into her cunt, ushering him to go intensely because she feels her high coming...and then…. He heard him groaned out and she moaned loudly. A burst of energy surged throughout her body, it was exhilarating, almost current like, she felt her orgasm ripping through. Was it cum? No...she didn’t think it was so what the hell was that feeling.

“Fuuuckk.” she heard him swore and she felt him stopping his assault on her. Her eyes fluttered open and her vision returned to her slowly and it slowly processed his face that was covered in strings of milky white liquid, he was taken aback by the sudden orgasm and didn’t expect her to even squirt from his tongue and fingers. Shit. Her body sprung up and her panic mode was on, she was beyond embarrassed and mortified she didn’t even know she was capable of squirting and she was now telling him how sorry she was, basically having a word vomit which was very out of character for Robin to be anything but calm and collected. But out of all the apologies and her trying to explain herself, he only caught and focused on one thing she had accidentally let slip out.

“First time..?? You m-mean? You’ve never done this Nico-ya?” Law’s lust was now uncontrollable, knowing that he was going to be Robin’s first and he would have the honour and pleasure of deflowering the beauty and the best part, this was all in his bedroom and he would always have the memory of his first time with her even when they were apart.

Robin shied away from his question and shunned her face away...this only confirmed Law’s question. Such a fierce woman and now was timid and innocent looking, all just for him. His feral and dominant side took over him and he grabbed Robin’s hands and pinned her completely down. Hands on both sides interlocked with each other in a death grip, he was literally panting from lust and he was turned on beyond words not to mention his cock was PAINFULLY hard and if he didn’t bury himself in her he would burst anytime soon.

“You’re so fucking cute.” he groaned at her facial expression. “I’ll make you feel good my love” he ended all talking there and plunged himself all the way in and because of how fucking wet her pussy was from the foreplay before it didn’t hurt her at all, strange because it was anything BUT pain. Robin had read in books how painful it was for women but all she felt was extreme and overwhelming amounts of pleasure. “Oh my god!” she screamed when he sheathed himself roughly into her and went in a god like pace.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck so tight!” he groaned and dipped his head down and took her mouth in his and they kissed, it was sloppy and borderline nasty and the sounds emitting from their kiss alone screamed HORNY. Robin was enjoying every second of this, she had never had sex and her first time was with the man that she was slowly falling for and someone she found so hot and attractive. All hesitance and shyness was thrown out the damn window when he took her roughly like this and she was a moaning mess, and her moans was music to his ears, it was so inviting and sultry he could literally fuck her the whole night. His cock reached all the right places and it was perfect for her pretty cunt, going in and out at a monstrous pace yet managing to stimulate her walls so well and hitting all the right nerves. He could hear the gushing and sloshing sound from their connection and how his precum was mixing with her own juices was now sopping out from her hole, fuck what an erotic sight.

“Ah...ahhhh law..please, oh my g--law ha... it feels so hot---” her hands fought his gripped and flew free and she gripped his shoulder for support and her hips rocked harder and towards his thrusts. Her mouth opened wide, head thrown back in bliss and Law buried his face on the crook of her neck and he fucked her hard for god knows how long because they were both so clouded with lust and both chasing their own high. “I’m goin--fuck...im going to fill you up like this if you keep clenching around my cock like that Nico-ya!”

“In me pp-pplease spill it in me, don’t pull out...ha ha ah ah! I-i’m go..going to cuum!” her legs shook and she vibrated in frenzy when her second high overcame her soul once again. She came with a loud cry and ropes and ropes of milky white cum gushed out from her sloppy hole making spurt sounds in addition to Law’s cock abusing her hole all the sound waves was heightened to him, his view of her large breast bouncing from their rocking, her hands holding and hugging onto him for dear life, her face contort to absolute pleasure, mouth wide open, moaning hotly and panting for air. She was so lewd right now and he knew there was no other woman that could take him like this and there was no woman he would rather pleasure than Nico Robin.

“F..fuck take it take it take it!” he grunted in her chest and came hard, shooting his load into her, painting her walls white and staining her innocence right there and then. “Ahh! I--its too full Law!!” she screamed loudly and both of them were sure that his crew could hear everything they were doing right now but he couldn’t care less. They both continued and rode through their highs and orgasm until they were satiated.

That night, they spent the whole night making love but mostly hard raw fucking, he explored every part of her and touched her in so many aspects and way possible. She lost count of how many times she cummed and how many cosmic orgasms she felt. He pleasured her like no other and he had branded sex with him into her very soul.

The bedsheet was now a MESS, it was stained with cum, sweat and saliva and it was fucking sinful to even get his ship’s cleaner to clean this mess for him. Law had fully exhausted himself and the goddess underneath him was close to passing out from all the fucking they did but he wouldnt let her drift asleep without cleaning her up properly.

“I’ve run a warm bath for us Nico-ya, let me clean you up properly and then i’ll rub you to sleep okay?” Law said lovingly while scooping her up bridal style, he was gentle with her knowing she was going to be sore everywhere, she was extremely brilliant for him and put up with his pleasurable abuse so of course she was receiving royalty like aftercare.

~BONUS~

“Neh Robin! Are you okay? You seem to be limping ever since you came back from your stay” Chopper asked worriedly.

“Fufufu don’t worry, it was just a little accident on the Polar Tang but Law-kun had already taken care of it” Robin assured her nakama. Chopper smiled “Well! If Law said it's fine then you should be okay soon Robin!” With that the little reindeer walked away finding Usopp who was fishing for their dinner.

Nami who was listening to their conversation wasn't buying her story one bit “So you and the captain of the Heart Pirates are boning each other huh Robin?” The orange- haired navigator hugged her best friend from behind, “We let you go for two days and you finally decide to make your move on him” Nami teased.

Robin giggled “I think he suits me well don’t you think so Nami?”

“Well you know what this means...girls night!!” Nami exclaimed, dragging Robin for an afternoon sun tan.

[ppersonna]

right here - jjk | m

↳ summary- a cruise with your best fuck buddy takes an interesting turn.

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- jeon jungkook x reader

↳ word count- 1.6k

↳ genre- REQUEST, smut

↳ warnings- fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it UP), slight dirty talk, exhibitionism, teasing, creampie, whew lindy you sure have a niche kink that you must write about in every fic huh :/ this is all smut im sorry that there’s bare minimum plot lol

↳ a/n- here’s my first drabble request for jk! i’m excited to give cherry koo his time to shine.  i’ll be working on all the requests ive been given and making nice little banners for them too.   thanks to @ladyartemesia​ and @taetaewonderland​ and @chimoona​ and @sombreboy​ for reading over this and helping me not want to quit writing lol

 This request was  “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

Jungkook stares at you as if you’re his last meal, and he’s a prisoner on death row.

It’s shameless the way he ogles you.  He doesn’t even wear sunglasses as he stares at your long legs unabashedly while lounging on the secluded deck of the cruise ship.  You can see the way his eyes trail over your body, following the beads of sweat that trickle down from the beating of the hot sun.  

“Jungkook,” you murmur quietly.  “You’re staring.”

It shakes him out of the daze your body put him in—the spell he always falls under when he gets a look at you in the tiny bikini you wear when you want to avoid unsightly tan lines.

“Was I?” He asks as he licks his lips and takes a sip of his beer.  

You smirk fondly and continue reading your book.  Jungkook doesn't stop staring.  His eyes rest on your chest, watching the way your breasts lift and fall with each breath.  You can tell he’s getting worked up now by the way his thighs tense as he tries to control himself.

A delicious thought crosses your mind and it makes you smirk.

“Hey,” you speak as you turn on the lounge bed towards your stomach, exposing your backside to the hot sun.  “Could you help me lotion up my back?  I don’t want to burn.”

Jungkook stills for a moment, visibly swallowing.  You idly wonder if teasing your best friend and fuck buddy like this is going too far.  But, he did mention something about seeing a girl named Jessica next week when you get home from vacation and maybe it’s best if you remind him just what he’d miss out on.  You couldn’t help the jealousy building inside of you at the idea of Jungkook with another woman. 

“Alright,” he says after a moment of consideration.  

He sets his cold beer on the deck and stands, adjusting his tight swim shorts as he does so.  You can’t help but grin, knowing he needs his adjustments due to the precarious situation you’ve put him in.

He locates the white bottle of sunscreen lotion and squirts a hefty amount into his palms and rubs them together, before kneeling over your body.  Each knee brackets your body and he hovers over your ass, swim bottoms exposing clefts of your lower cheeks.  You can feel the way his knees tighten around you, hold you tighter.

The lotion is cold as he places his hands on you, rubbing small circles on your lower back and working his way upwards, ensuring the white cream is thoroughly blended into your smooth skin.

“Shit,” he murmurs as he caresses you.  The skin of your body drives him crazy.  You feel like silk and he wants to run his hands all over you.  Both hands work eagerly now, no longer focused on the sunscreen and instead on the way your skin feels under his touch. 

“You okay?” You ask coyly, turning your head towards the cherry-headed boy above you.

“Fucking tease.”

You stifle a laugh with your hand and wiggle your hips gently.

“You caught on quick.”

Jungkook grunts as his hands tug at your bikini bottoms, snapping the elastic against your skin.

“I could just pull these to the side,” he muses as his hand trails hot on your covered ass. “No one would even notice.”

You bite your lip as the fire within you roars to life.  His hand slides down to the exposed skin your bottoms don’t cover, the cheeky globes tempting him to expose more.

“I could just fuck you right here.”

You chance a glance around you, noticing the upper deck of the ship you’re on is still deserted save for an old couple far on the other side.  

Jungkook notices your glances and chuckles.

“You actually want that, don’t you?” He asks, tugging the fabric that covers your core to the side.  “Little exhibitionist, aren’t you?”

He exposes your pussy to the open air of the ship and you can feel the slight breeze that accompanies the heat of the summer sun.

“Kook,” you whine as your stomach tightens.  You can feel him push it even further, exposing the lips of your cunt to anyone who walks by.

He grabs your hips and lifts slightly, stuffing the towel underneath you in a ball to elevate your hips permanently.

“Gonna fuck you right here,” he states as he unties the string of his shorts and pulls them down just enough to allow his cock freedom. 

You can’t help but stare at the way he grips his length, stroking gently as he lets his eyes wash in the sight of your silken folds. 

He releases his length to tease a finger at the slit, then pushes inside you fully with the digit. 

“Wet already? Are you that excited at the idea of me taking you right here? Letting me fuck you stupid on the deck?”  He smirks as he speaks and spears in another finger, dragging a quiet moan from your lips. 

He scissors you apart and watches as you gasp for air, hands gripping the warm plastic of your lounge chair.  Jungkook’s fingers feel so hot, so thick inside you.  

Once he deems you satisfactory, he pulls from within you and smears the slick from his hands on to his cock. 

“Mm,” he sighs as he pumps himself, head tilting back in pleasure. “You ready, baby?” 

You nod quickly, hips elevated and pussy dripping in anticipation.  Birds chirp over heard and you can hear the dull sounds of people around on the ship, and the crashing sounds of the waves hitting against it as it plows through the ocean. 

“Shit, this is so hot,” he groans as he rubs the head of his cock against the slick folds he just exited moments before. “Can’t believe you’re letting me fuck you like this.” 

“Please,” you whimper. “I need you so bad.”

Jungkook looks proud at your desperation and hisses as he pushes himself inside the scorching heat of your cunt. 

“Fuck,” he whispers as he bottoms out. Your brain short circuits, only capable of thinking about Jungkook and the way his length stretches you open and feels like fucking heaven. His cock is sun-warned and he smells like sweat and coconut sunscreen.  

“You’re so hot,” he grunts as he begins to pull his length out. He marvels at the way his cock shines with your slick arousal, before he pushes back in and groans at the sound of the wetness squelching with his thrusts. 

“Fuck me hard, please,” you beg. Your voice is broken, needy and you’re desperate for him to move faster. 

“As you wish,” he sighs as he sets a pace. He whines as your back arches and he takes the opportunity to grab a bunch of your hair and tug your head back. 

“Look at you taking my cock right here,” he murmurs. “Naughty girl getting fucked for anyone to see.”  

You keen at the feeling of pain at his grip on your hair, and it makes your eyes wide as you gasp for air. 

He keeps going, pistoning his hips and watches as your ass bounces with each thrust. He can’t wait to fuck you again and again in the privacy of your cabin, so he can watch your tits bounce in his face.   But he loves the exhibitionism of taking you here, hot cunt exposed to anyone who happens to walk by. 

He can feel himself coming close to the end, balls tightening in anticipation. It’s the thrill and rush of being caught that spurs him closer and closer, and the sounds of your delicious squeaks and whines for more. 

“You want to cum for me, baby? You want to cum so hard the whole ship knows how well I fuck you?” He asked as he increases his speed and lets go of your hair, opting to grip your hips with both hands. “Let everyone know, baby.” 

Your eyes squeeze tight as the knot in your stomach pulls so tight until it snaps, cunt pulsing wildly around his cock and gripping him tight. It makes him gasp as you moan—body milking him for his own release. 

“Shit, look at you getting my cock so fucking creamy,” he bites his lip as his length gathers your juicy finish, painting his whole cock white. 

The final spasms of your pussy sends him reeling and he groans as he feels the pulses of hot cum pump out of him and fills you up. Your breathy moans quicken as you feel him empty himself inside you.  You can’t catch your breath, over-exerted from the high of your orgasm catching you off guard. 

Jungkook stills as he lets himself come down from bliss, before he gently pulls out of your spent hole. 

“Oh shit,” he groans as he watches his cum trail out with him.  He catches it with his fingers and pushes it back into you, causing you to squeak at the sensitivity. 

“Let’s go back to the room,” he demands as he moves your bottoms to cover your cunt once more. “Keep it all in there and I’ll eat it out of you.”  

You jump up and nearly spill his beer as he adjusts himself back into his shorts.  You’re grabbing your things and Jungkook snorts a laugh. 

“Shut up,” you pout. “Let’s go.” 

You grab his hand and drag him off the deck and towards the hallway of rooms that leads to yours.

Jungkook smiles and stares at you, soaking in your tanned skin and messy hair from his grasp. 

He definitely knows he won’t be able to stop staring any time soon—and he doesn’t think he wants to either.

[buckyownsmylife]

put it all on me - steve rogers smut

The one where, after Steve fucks you in a bar, he takes you back to his room.

Warnings: Cum eating, oral sex (f), A LOT OF dirty talk, light degradation?, I don’t think so, but just to be sure, it’s just ‘cause Steve likes to tease the reader for her sexual desires, captain kink, talks of threesome, smut, p in v, doggy, face down, ass up, plot twist, poly!Steve, really dominant!Steve

A/N: in theory, this is supposed to be a part ii to this fic, hence the same title. But it’s easily read as a one-shot, so if you don’t want to read that little drabble, just carry on.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The first thing Steve did when he managed to get me inside his room was strip me completely naked, and after a few minutes of forcing me to endure his burning gaze on my exposed body, fall to his knees and pull me to accept his body between my legs.

“St-Steve!” I admonished, trying to get out of the position, knowing the cum he had deposited inside of me was going to drip on his face any second now. But all I got was a harsh slap on my ass, Steve’s blunt nails carving half-moon indentations on my skin when he secured my hips, making sure to push my legs as far away as they could get before he sat me down on his mouth. “Shit, Captain! Sorry.”

“You think you can pretend to be all coy and shy now, sweetheart?” He mocked, perfect soft lips already prying my lower ones open and he used his tongue to scoop up his own cum from inside of me, catching me by surprise. I was so surprised, in fact, that I lost control of my own leg muscles, and would have fallen face-first on the floor if it weren’t for Steve still keeping me up by his grip on my hips.

“You can’t play that innocent act with me anymore, princess. Not when you let me fuck you in a bar’s bathroom. Not when you were so eager to milk me dry.” I moaned just from hearing the good old Captain America saying such nasty things from between my legs. It felt like a dream - a dirty, too-good-to-be-true dream, and I loved every second of it.

On the off chance that this whole thing had been just a figment of my imagination, I wanted to make the most out of it. I wasn’t one for lucid dreams, so I didn’t know when it would be the next time I’d get this sort of fun again.

If it was truly happening, then, that’s why I needed to cherish every single second of this experience. There was no part of me that believed I’d be able to lay with Steve freaking Rogers again after tonight. This was purely the result of hurt ego and adrenaline that was most likely still running through his body from the mission he’d been on for the last few weeks. He hadn’t had a release in a while and it was purely the combination of luck and being in the right place, at the right time, that had allowed me to cherish this opportunity. I wouldn’t fake myself into believing any differently.

Steve hummed as he tasted the combination of himself and my wetness. It felt downright depraved, and it only served to get me even wetter for him. “We taste so good together, honey. I don’t think I’ll ever want to eat my cum without yours.”

What the fuck was going on? Who was this person? I just couldn’t believe Steve was actually saying stuff like that. Through the gasps that revealed just how out of breath that situation had made me, I forced myself to let out a raspy, “You do that often?”

It made Steve laugh, still otherwise occupied with licking my wetness away, sometimes humming in a way that let me believe he truly was deeply appreciative of my taste. “You truly have no idea,” he mused, only making even more curious.

Steve’s P.O.V.

Shit, she was perfect. I was so glad her little slip up had given me the perfect opportunity to rail her in the bathroom of that bar because now that I had known how she felt and what she tasted like, there was no way I would ever let her go. And I knew just who would love this development.

“When Bucky gets home, I’m sure he’ll keep my face stuffed in your pussy, licking our remnants to clean you up before he fucks you.” This was a calculated move. I knew exactly what I was doing as I said those words and pried her lower lips open with two of my fingers, prepared to feel her clench around my tongue as she realized what I was implying.

“B-Bucky?” She repeated, and I could only chuckle against her wetness as she writhed over me. So sweet, both in taste and in personality. I can see why he had fallen for her. Such a pretty little thing, so unaware of her allure.

“Oh yeah, darling. You have no idea how badly he has wanted you.” Finally leaving her pussy to watch her face as she tried to get a grip over what I was telling, I pushed two of my fingers in her hole, listening for the sopping sounds my thrusts made as I continued my taunts.

  “He’s been talking about fucking you ever since you started working at the tower, sweetheart. I was the one who originally opposed it because I didn’t think you’d be up for the things we’d like to do to you… But tonight, you’ve gone ahead and turned the tables on me, haven’t you? Thinking I was the innocent one, when you’re always walking around so cutely in dresses like the one I ripped from you,” tsking, I continued, “He would have loved you in that dress, such a shame you won’t be able to wear it anymore. But I’ll buy a new one, and then you’ll let him fuck you in it, won’t you, princess? You’ll be our good girl now, huh?” I watched her orgasm hit her right before my eyes, grinning from ear to ear as I kept my movements quick and harsh against the spot that made her try to escape me. Shame, I’d never let her go.

“You’re aching for it, aren’t you, darling? Desperate to feel both of our cocks in your tiny holes, filling you from both ends. Maybe you’ll even take two at once, huh? Can’t wait to play with you until you’re so used to our cocks we’ll just slide right in, princess.” Now my cock was throbbing, desperate to fill her up with more cum so I could just lick it all off again later. So, albeit reluctantly, I got up and grabbed her by the hips, throwing her on the bed before turning her around and raising her fantastic ass up.

“I think I’ll fuck you like this again. Keep grabbing this ass so I can leave my mark in it, just like I left my cum in you.” I slapped it once, watching it bounce as my handprint quickly appeared on her soft skin. Then, I yanked her up by her hair, just so I could whisper in her ear.

“Beg me for my cock, c’mon. Beg me to fill this pretty pussy.” I loved how every little thing I did left her whiny and out of breath, not to mention absolutely dripping on my bed. Perhaps she truly wasn’t prepared for all we’d do to her, but I could see now that leaving her completely mad with desire was more than half of the fun. 

“Fuck me, Captain! Please! Please, I need your cock. I need it so bad.” The pure, unadulterated need in her voice had me groaning, and I finally stopped stroking myself to push her down again before finally spearing her with my cock. It felt like ages since our fuck in the bathroom, and feeling her tight walls struggle to adjust to my thickness was torture in the best possible way.

“I can’t wait to choke you with my cock later,” I warned as I began fucking her. It didn’t take long for her arms to falter, and she fell head first on the mattress, but I didn’t stop, simply adjusted myself so I’d be laying on top of her.

“You say that like you’ll still want me.” I snorted, biting her in warning. Although I did understand where her insecurity came from, the idea of her being nothing more than a one night stand felt so ludicrous, it was impossible to keep myself from laughing as I secured her arms by her head, slowing my movements but deepening them.

“Darling, I didn’t watch Bucky cum over and over again while screaming your name only to fuck you twice and ignore you the next day. Oh no. This is how you’re going to be now, every single day for the rest of your life: filled by me or Bucky or both of us at the same time. So you better get used to the idea, and soon.”

I rested my chin on her back, softly running my fingers through her hair so I could keep it away from her face before I pulled her back for a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. “You’re ours now, sweetheart.”

[shealwaysreads]

Sterek Fic Rec: The Future!Fic Edition

Kiss Me on This Cold December Night by @leslieknopeismyspiritanimal

The hairs on the back of Stiles’ neck tingle, and he swallows hard against the unmistakable sensation of someone staring at him. He’s tempted to just ignore it, but after a few seconds, his curiosity wins out and he looks up from his phone instead. He doesn’t notice anything right away, flicking his gaze along the people on the other side of the intersection until he suddenly stops and backtracks. It’s a little hard to see, what with the thick drizzle and the cars whizzing between them, but he would recognize that glorious bearded face anywhere, even after six years. Holy shit.

Well. This is so damn good okay? We've got grown up Stiles with his own career, and Derek who is an architect and has had therapy and is happy and safe and well adjusted. AND THIS IS THEIR MOMENT. Cue Stiles getting all hot and bothered by Derek successfully adulating, and Derek being blown away by Stiles' everything. And there's Christmas. So you know I'm in love with this fic.

Homing Mechanisms by @sterekationstation

Magnetoreception: The sense which allows an organism to detect a magnetic field to perceive direction, altitude or location. How birds find their way home.

--

Stiles returns to Beacon Hills after four years at Stanford, only to find out that Derek has moved back into town. He brings him a housewarming gift. Derek makes food. Things escalate from there.

Derek Hale and happiness - the ultimate kink - a sentiment shared by Stiles in this fic. It’s just perfectly done - both of our fave boys back in Beacon Hills and finally, finally able to settle and be happy. Favourite line including ‘Stiles' brain bluescreens for a second when he sees how dark Derek's eyes are.” 

Testing the Waters by @coyotequeens

Prompt fill: "I would LOVE a future!fic where Stiles randomly bumps into Derek, maybe in nyc. He's in college now or maybe even post college, and this is their first time interacting since Derek left Beacon Hills. Stiles is obviously SMOKING HOT now and Derek finally got his shit together and is a successful 30 something."

This is awesome - Derek is settled and content and he has friends and a job and he’s happy okay? And then Stiles shows up and it’s even better. In such a short fic with no ‘plot’ grimm just writes such a believable experience and it feels like the start of the future.

How to Be a Normal Person by @drunktuesdays

Instead he sits for a moment, looking at the empty search box, fingers on the home row the way his mother taught him. He thinks about that, and about the hole in the wall he’d lived with for so long, and the way Isaac had grinned at him last night when he’d finally gotten around to plugging the refrigerator in.

He finds himself typing in, “how to be a normal person.”

This is just brilliant. Hilarious and tragic and heartfelt all at once, I love this Derek who doesn’t have his shit together, I love his growth. I love Trixie more than possibly anything in the world. And Stiles totally loves Derek. So, you know, it’s all good.

Sunshine (Walking On) by @jentnova

Derek Hale has a good day. (There is ice cream.)

All of this is good. The whole fic is just filled with such warmth and gentleness and love it’s just a delight to read. Derek Hale is happy here, so so happy. You will be smiling the whole way through.

Believer and a Homecoming by ldsme

“I’m serious Derek,” Stiles whispers. “Come home.”

Okay so “gratuitous beards” and “explicit peace” are both tags on this work which I feel negate any need for me to wax lyrical about it. BUT IM GONNA ANYWAY. This whole fic is just. Ugh. It’s just so satisfying and achingly sweet, and Stiles has no idea until he does. And Derek is so hopeful and open and so surprised that he is loved and I could cry at how much he deserves this ending.

How It’s Meant to Be by  TangentiaLives

"Hey," Derek replies, a ready smirk curling the edge of his mouth. He's always ready to smile when Stiles is around: it just seems to happen that way.

Again, Stiles says, "Hey." Derek waits expectantly, and Stiles pushes off the Jeep, shoving his hands into his pockets and ambling towards Derek like he's got all the time in the world. "Do you want to get something to eat?" he asks, the quiet confidence that Derek will say yes making the timbre of his voice a little lower than usual.

This is short, but sweet, and totally lovely. Just what we want to happen to these two - naturally falling into one another.

Inexorable by @notthequiettype 

Derek might never admit what he wants from Stiles, what he's wanted for so long, but Stiles is okay with that most days. It's been years of this low thrumming, pulsing want between them and Stiles thinks of it like a living thing, warm and familiar and constant.

I just really like the way this plays out - Derek’s restraint (for so many reasons) and Stiles actually being content with how things are, but still needing to mention it, to push. Because he’s Stiles and because he knows that he and Derek deserve more. So lovely.

The House That Built Us by @cleverlittlekit  

"I like open concept," Stiles says, and Derek wonders briefly if he is simply thinking out loud. "And lots of seating. Like, maybe a big, cushy sectional. A couple of recliners. Lots of room to lounge."

Derek nods, mostly out of habit. He's become accustomed to hearing Stiles without really listening to him.

Derek builds a house, Stiles doesn’t understand, until he does. This is so sweetly done, Derek is so lovely, and the final scenes in the house with dinner and the tour are perfect.

I know My Kingdom Awaits and They've Forgiven My Mistakes by @bleep0bleep

It’s now, watching the fading rays of the afternoon sun on the longest day of the summer, that it becomes more and more apparent that Stiles needs a car. Stiles gets a text message from an unexpected someone. And a gift.

This is just, so believable actually. It could be a canon future and I love that. It’s short and has a hopeful ending, and the Sheriff is amazing.

[mrslackles]

what do you think are gg's biggest flaws?

Ooh, Anon! It’s like you’re in my head. 

I’m busy making a video (that will probably never see the light of day) about this --  my distance from the show has really helped with some super objective clarity -- so I’ll use my notes from that to help me answer. 

I’ll preface this by saying what I was most shocked by after putting down all the points was that Rio isn’t even mentioned until really far down??

Anyway, let's get into it.

These are Good Girls' greatest flaws in my opinion (and relative to season 1 -- while I think it had its flaws too, the list is far smaller and I think that's a separate post)

1. It didn't stick to its guns

What set this show apart from others in the 'Everyday person does crime (poorly)' genre was its comedic lightness, strong friendship element, relatability and emphasis on girl power.

a) By season 2, the lightness was already slowly disappearing to make way for season 3's darkness. (Quite literally; this show said sunlight scenes for WHO.) It also stopped being as fun. Remember how it genuinely used to be fun? I mean let's not forget The Best Scene Ever where Ruby shoots Big Mike by accident and we all laughed our asses off. (Compare and contrast to a similar-in-tone-and-context scene -- or even the whole episode -- like Boomer popping up behind them as Rio's package in season 3.) I think season 3 had some great lines and laughs, but in general, the fun element was completely missing for me.

b) As was the friendship. We already know Annie and Ruby basically became Beth's backup dancers in season 2, but at least then they still seemed to have some type of agency. In season 3, they rarely question Beth's (truly questionable) decisions, don't talk to her about shit like why she's still with her horrible husband and have very few true friendship moments as they did in season 1.

c) Which made it less relatable, but what also contributed was the major plot holes (it's less easy to relate when you're constantly having to remind yourself to suspend your disbelief). And, to be honest, their stupid actions. Just the most common-sense things weren't followed, like not taking your children to a crack den or not putting a hit out on a gang leader. It's frustrating watching a TV show -- where characters are supposed to learn things, have arcs and improve over time -- and feeling like you have more logical sense than all the main characters in every scene. (WHO would think a hitman was going to use a sniper rifle on people in broad daylight on the side of the road???)

d) You don't have to look any further than the title or the stans who shout "THE SHOW IS ABOUT THE GIRLS" -- or, hell, the first 10 seconds of the show where Sara is literally talking about the glass ceiling -- to know that the main characters being women is very important to the show. If not formally feminist, it was at least supposed to be empowering or feel like "girl power" (a term I hate, but we won't get into that now).

And I think it did it pretty well in season 1 -- it actually played on my favourite theme of the show, which is the world's perception of these women being what ultimately allows them to get away with so much. (Rife with opportunities for commentary about white privilege, but also a genius way to upend patriarchal beliefs.) But more and more it seemed like the show was asking you to accept empowerment as simply "these things are being done by women, yay".

And, well.

2. Its marketing

I'll keep this one short because I think we all know how messed up this situation is. Basically they're selling a show (every week!) that they're not making while ignoring all feedback on every social media platform. Which brings us to...

3. The marriage of Death

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times -- Beth's character development starts with getting rid of Dean. Her growth is stunted by him on multiple fronts and it's frustrating to viewers since she's constantly put forth as the main character. Not to mention how the audience, separately from Beth, was originally conditioned to see Dean as the scum of the earth (think of scenes like him crashing his car because he was perving on a woman jogging) so keeping them together is really... a choice. To actively root for this marriage (which seems like what the show wants, at least for the protracted moment) means either thinking Dean is a great person (which, as I said, we've only seen the opposite of) or believing he's all Beth deserves. Which leads me to...

4. Beth's (socio)path(y)

Is sociopath a 'good' word? Probably not. Have I seen dozens upon dozens of posts talking about whether Beth is one? Yes. And I see it from a huge variety of people -- from viewers who just binged the show last weekend to those who've been watching for years, the question keeps coming up. And I entirely blame the writing of the show that, by the way, I don't believe is deliberately creating Beth to get this reaction. I think she's written (and, to an extent, acted) in a way that is much too aloof and I'm not convinced it's meant to come off as cold and unfeeling as it does. Everything else leads me to believe that the audience is supposed to root for Beth, but it's just so difficult.

Beth does a lot of messed up shit that requires dialogue to sympathise with her and the inner workings of her mind, but in the later seasons Beth rarely gets to express herself verbally. And every time she does get to speak about her emotions, the dialogue is a pick-your-own-adventure between "She's in so much denial", "This person feels no emotions" and "I'll go find an analysis/fic later to explain this" (scenes like "Nothing" or "I was just bored"). Compare and contrast with some of the great scenes in season 1 where she emotes, like her paralysing shock after they first rob the store or admitting she enjoys crime, or (one of my favourites!) the one in the park where she's mimicking the other mothers beside her.

5. Brio

I said in the beginning that I was shocked Rio doesn't get mentioned until this point and that's because I've always felt like he was an integral part of the show. When people say the show is about the girls, they're truncating -- the show is about the girls getting into crime. That crime is represented by Rio over and over again -- they never bring in another criminal at his level (which is another one of its flaws, but that's also a different post); Rio is it.

And though I stand by Rio's importance, the truth is that Brio isn't as essential to the show, by which I mean that if all of the above were done well, it wouldn't be as sorely missed. In lieu of riveting plot, a fun friendship, character development and empowerment, most viewers have glommed onto Brio like a lifeboat (or ship, heh).

Unfortunately it's also what the show has most stubbornly refused to develop significantly.

It's honestly a toss-up for why I feel Brio is a flaw: is the flaw that they got together? That they never got together well enough? That the writing keeps bringing in these 'chemistry-filled' scenes that are ultimately filled with air?

I don't know. Maybe all of them; maybe just one, depending on the day.

6. Its criticism falls flat without intersectionality

This is a big one because Good Girls is *trying* to do something very clever. As mentioned previously, my favourite theme of the show is how the women's apparent innocence/vulnerability in the eyes of society is their biggest strength. The show plays with this and other interesting themes with varying levels of success, but ultimately they all fall a little flat when they don't feel intersectional.

When Ruby gets sidelined. When Turner, who sees and all but calls out by name Beth's privilege, is portrayed as the villain. When Rio is told he's gonna "pop a cap" in his young child's "ass". When the racist grandma becomes a sympathetic character whom we must later grieve. (And she really didn't have to be racist, now that I think about it? It was just that one line for laughs and that was it.) When, despite the real-world implications, Dean can loudly announce in a store that he's buying a gun to kill someone with and the show just glides past it. When Ruby has to grovel for forgiveness from Beth for trying to protect her husband and family from the system, with no acknowledgement from Beth about how their realities are different. When Rhea gets booted off the show as soon as she's done serving Beth's plot. When Rio gets treated like a prostitute for absolutely no reason. (Oh, and is accused of raping Beth and is literally spoken of as an animal and starts only existing in zero dim lighting as a one-dimensional stereotype... the list goes on.)

7. PR/The actors

I'll risk my life here to sprinkle this in because I do think it's a massive problem. The Manny/Christina of it all is just the tip of the iceberg (although wtf Good Girls? There's nothing you could do to get these two into an interview together??). The main actors do the bare minimum to promote the show and it's weird. I also think it's the height of unprofessionalism to keep characters on the show against the wishes of the majority of the audience just because you enjoy their actors (Boomer confirmed; Dean highly suspected). While, on the flip side of the coin, limiting a character's screentime because you aren't best buddies with them. Having less and less Rio when he's such a fan favourite is dumb; as is not including him in any series marketing material. It feels personal and that isn't how a TV show should be run.

8. The entire hair and wardrobe department needs a stern talking-to

[ssfghfrrggf]

One More Time

Plot: a sort of alternate way the season finale could have gone? But it’s mostly just it’s own thing.

warnings: canon typical violence, kidnapping mention, A N G S T

@adamruz i’m doing my civic duty and tagging you in yet another one of my painful burzek fics (:

“Ruz! Don’t do anything stupid!” Kevin hisses, keeping his body pressed against the pillar shielding him from the fire being laid down against them, Jay is huddled next to him, and Adam’s pinned down behind another pillar a good 10 feet away; Kevin can see the wheels spinning in his friends head, like he’s calculating something, coming up with some stupid and recless plan. He knows the look, he knows Adam is about to do something monumentally stupid, but his best friend is to far away for him to stop him. He tries getting Adam’s attention again. “Ruz!”

Adam doesn’t respond, he’s still running through what ever stupid plan he has. 

“Ruzek!” Kevin tries again, and the only response he gets from his partner is a head shake. They’ve been at odds almost since the moment they found out Kim was missing. They even almost came to blows; this whole case has been hell, Kim being missing has been hell, for Adam especially. He’s still mad at him but the last thing he needs right now is for Adam to do something stupid and get himself killed. “Whatever you’re thinking, don't do it!”

“Wait for backup!” Jay adds, meeting Kevin’s gaze for a second. He’s scared for what Adam’s about to attempt too.

Adam tightens his grip on his gun.

“Don’t do it Ruz!” Jay shouts as more bullets spray against the pillar they’re sheltered behind.

“We have to save Kim.” Is Adam’s only response and then he stands up and ducks out from the safety of the pillar standing as a shield between him and the gun fire.

“Adam!” Kevin screams and tries to leap forward, but Jay catches him by the vest and holds him back as Adam goes down. He manages to get off one shot that takes out the guy who shot Adam before Jay yanks him back. “No! Ruz! No!”

Jay pokes around the pillar just long enough to lay down some return fire. Kevin tries to pull against his grip. He has to get to Adam, he has to save his partner, but Jay yanks him back once again.

“Kevin! Stop!” Jay shouts, his eyes are wide and scared, reflecting what Kevin is feeling. “We don’t need both of you shot! We need a plan!”

“We have to get him,” Kevin chokes looking over his shoulder at his partner. He’s ten feet away. Ten feet, laying in a growing puddle of blood. He feels sick and his mind is running at a million miles an hour. They have to help Adam.

“We will! But there’s no point in all three of us dying,” Jay says, shaking Kevin. “So we need a damn plan!”

Kevin swallows and nods his head.

“I’ll draw them out, you pick them off, got it?” Jay says evenly, glancing around the edge of the pillar for a split second and is instantly met with bullets whizzing past his head.

“How the hell are you going to do that?” Kevin demands.

“I’m going to let them see just enough of me that it entices them to shoot at me,” Jay replies, glancing around the corner again. “You get low, and they’ll be so busy paying attention to me so they won’t notice you.”

“Jay-”

“It’s the only move we’ve got, Kevin,” Jay replies sharply.

Kevin glances over at Adam, who’s not moving and then back at Jay. He doesn’t like the plan, but it’s the only one they have and it’s their best shot at saving Adam, he can even still be saved.

“We got Kim, we’re falling back to the safe zone,” Jay hesitates as Hailey’s voice comes over the radio.

“We got this,” Kevin reassures him.

Jay nods. “You ready?”

“Yes.” Kevin lowers himself to the floor and lays on his belly and very slowly and cautiously leans around the edge of the pillar as Jay steps out of the safety of their shield for a half a second. One of the guys across the parking garage shows themself to shoot at Jay, but Kevin pulls the trigger and takes him down before he can shoot Jay. The other guy opens fire just as Jay ducks back to safety.

“One more,” Jay says, gripping his gun, getting ready to step out of safety again.

“I’m ready when you are,” Kevin says, placing his finger on the trigger.

Jay nods and steps out of their cover once again. The other shooter  reveals himself for a second, but a second is all Kevin needs. He shoots the guy before he can get one shot off at Jay. Kevin doesn’t waste a second dropping his gun and clamoring to his feet. He half runs half stumbles across the floor and collapses on the floor next to Adam.

“Ruz!” Kevin chokes, lifting Adam’s head off the bloody ground with one hand and tearing open his vest with the other. There’s so much blood he can’t tell where it’s all coming from. “Ruz, Ruz you gotta wake up man, you gotta stay with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam mumbles around a mouthful of blood, but doesn’t open his eyes.

“What the hell were you thinking,” Kevin demands, adjusting his grip on his partner. “What the hell were you thinking!”

“I’m sorry,” Adam repeats, and he means it, from the very bottom of his heart, Kevin can tell he means it. And he knows he’s not just apologizing for what he just did. He’s apologizing for everything. “I couldn’t let anything happen to Kim or…”

“Don’t do that man,” Kevin begs, holding Adam upright and cradling him in his arms. He can feel Jay walk soberly up behind him, and he can hear him radio to dispatch that they have an officer down. “Don’t. Just hang in there okay? You’re going to be okay.”

“Or you…” Adam finishes before his head slumps forward against his bloody chest.

“No! Damn it Ruz, stay with me,” Kevin cries, rocking his partner, trying to shake him back awake, bring him back. The last real conversation they had had was them yelling at each other to go to hell and trying to punch each other in the face.

Jay doesn’t say anything, he stands silently next to Kevin and hangs his head.

***

Hailey hears Jay’s officer down call come in over the radio as she climbs up into the ambulance with Kim. She hesitates on the step leading into the back. She has a deep gut feeling that it’s Adam. He’s smart, he’s tough, he knows what he’s doing, but he gets stupid when it comes to things involving Kim.

“Where’s Adam?” Kim mumbles, drawing Hailey’s attention back to her and the ambulance and the current situation. Hailey switches off the radio and ducks inside the ambulance. If she’s right Kim doesn’t need to find out from radio chatter.

“He’s going to meet us at the hospital,” Hailey says, taking Kim’s hand. Brett is on her other side starting an IV. It’s not exactly a lie, it could be true, but saying it still hurts. Hailey’s chest aches

“I need to tell him something,” Kim adds and lifts her head off the stretcher. “Where is he?”

“He’s helping clean this mess up,” Hailey says, trying to sound comforting and reassuring, but she’s so unsure herself.

“But he’s always here,” Kim groans and lets her head fall back against the back onto the stretcher.

“Burgess, I need you to hold still,” Brett says gently, holding Kim’s arm against her body to steady it while she starts get the IV ready to go into her arm.

“I need Adam,” Kim insists, ignoring the paramedic. “Hailey-”

“He’ll meet us at the hospital, Kim,” Hailey promises, and tries to make herself believe it. She wishes she could unhear her partner’s call over the radio. He sounded sick and heart broken when he said it, and lost, lost like he didn’t know what to do or what to say.

Kim shakes her head miserably and tears start building in her eyes.

“Hey, shhh,” Hailey soothes and squeezes her hand. “He’ll be there Kim. You know that, he loves you.”

This seems to only make things worse because Kim starts crying harder.

***

She feels completely alone. At the very core of her being there's an empty pit opening up and swallowing her hole. She knows Hailey and Brett are with her, but it feels like there’s no one, Adam’s not there with her so she might as well be alone. She needs him. She needs him to wrap her in his strong arms and hold her against his chest so she can hear his heartbeat and she needs him to promise everything will be okay. But he’s not there with her, he’s always there. No matter what he’s always there, he’s the anchor that holds her in place and keeps her grounded even when everything seems to be falling apart around her. And right now everything is falling apart, the world is crumbling around her and he’s not there. She’s alone and being sucked into an empty pit of blackness.

She closes her eyes trying to stop the tears from coming, but it doesn’t help. She can feel Hailey squeeze her hand, but that somehow only makes things worse because it’s not Adam holding her hand. She wants to believe Hailey that Adam will meet them at the hospital, but she’s scared. Somethings wrong, she can tell. Hailey’s scared too, she recognizes the forced calm in her voice.

“Hailey, what happened,” she tries again to get the detective to tell her something.

“You’re safe, you’re on your way to med. Everything is going to be okay.”

Kim knows it’s a lie. How can everything be okay if Adam isn’t here?

***

At the hospital they take Kim straight back to an exam room, and Hailey has barely watched the stretcher disappear into a room before the hospital doors are opening and there’s another stretcher being rolled in with Adam laying on top of it dripping blood onto the floor. Jay and Kevin are walking right along with him. Kevin has blood smeared on his hands and face, and there are tears streaking down his face. And Jay just looks lost.

“37 year old male, multiple gunshot wounds, shocked once in transport,” the paramedic is announcing  as the stretcher gets passed off to the Dr. Choi and Dr. Marcel.

Hailey swallows hard and looks away.

“Hey,” Jay breathes and pulls her aside , so he’s blocking her view of Adam with his body.

“What happened?” Hailey asks, stepping back from him just a little. This whole case has thrown everything onto the rocks. Things are prickly between everyone. She loves Jay but she’s not ready to cling to him and cry into his arms. She’s not ready to let him hold her.

Jay looks a little hurt by her pull away from him, but the majority of the worry and pain in his eyes is not for her or because of her.

“He got stupid,” Jay says, and it comes out curt and a little harsh. “We got pinned down and he decided it was a good idea to try to rush the shooters. He didn’t have a damn plan.”

He sounds angry, but she knows it’s only because he cares.

Hailey nods slightly, but doesn’t say anything to her partner. Instead she leaves him to go check on Kevin who is standing in a dazed trance looking at something on the floor. As she gets closer to him, she realizes it’s blood.

“I told him to go to hell,” Kevin says quietly as she approaches him and rests her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” she says, trying to sound comforting. “He knows you didn’t mean it.”

“I told my best friend to go to hell,” Kevin repeats without looking up. “What was I thinking? He thinks I hate him… that’s the last thing he’s gonna think.”

“Kevin! Look at me!” Hailey says firmly, making him look up at her. “He knows you don’t hate him, okay? He knows that!”

It’s not entirely true. She’d been with Adam after his fight with Kevin, he’d been so angry and upset. He’d blamed himself for everything, for Kim getting kidnapped, for his fight with Kevin. He’d been convinced he messed everything up, betrayed his best friend and failed the love of his life. He’d said he ruined everything to try to save Kim and in the end he wasn’t even able to do that.

***

Kim knew Hailey was lying to her in the ambulance ride over, but at least during the ride over she could hope, but now she’s sitting in a hospital room, alone with no sign of Adam. She keeps expecting him to walk through the door, but he never does and at this point she’s convinced he won’t.

“Hey Burgess.” Trudy is the one to walk in as the door swings open. She looks tired, relieved to be seeing Kim, but tired.

“Where’s Adam?” Kim asks as the desk sergeant sits down next to her bed.

Trudy sighs and purses her lips. 

“Trudy, please,” Kim presses.

Trudy hesitates before finding her words. “Kim..” she says it with so much pity and sorrow that it feels like a kick to the stomach.

“No,” Kim chokes, shaking her head. She knows what’s about to be said, and it can’t be true, she refuses to believe it.

“Kim, he got shot,” Trudy continues softly.

“No,” Kim repeats, refusing to hear what she has to say next. He can’t die.

“Hey, they’re doing everything they can for him,” Trudy whispers, her voice cracking. Kim can see tears welling in her eyes. “He’s in good hands. He’s going to be okay.”

It’s all empty promises, hopeful lies meant to offer false reassurance. She can see it in Trudy’s eyes, he’s going to die. The police sergeant doesn’t believe what she’s just said.

‘He’s going to die, isn’t he?” Kim can feel her bottom lip quivering as she says and Trudy seems to melt, droop into this old tired woman who’s weary and lost in her fears too.

“Don’t do that, Kim,” she tries, but even the normally unwavering Trudy Platt can’t stop her voice from cracking.

“Isn’t he?” Kim repeats miserably, tears beginning to well in her eyes as she sits up, ignoring the pain from her movement. Nothing hurts more than the pain bursting open in her chest, nothing hurts more than the thought of losing Adam.

Trudy places a steady hand on Kim’s thigh and shakes her head. “I don’t know, Kim. I don’t know.”

It’s the most honest thing anyone has said to her since being found. Ever the promises that she’d be fine were lies, how can she be fine while Adam is dying? How can she ever be fine if he dies. He’s her constant, when she’s beaten and bruised, he’s there. When the world is spinning out of control, he’s there. When she’s facing devastating loss, he’s there. She can’t imagine climbing the mountains life has thrown at her without him. She can’t imagine her life without him, she doesn’t even want to try. She doesn’t ever want to live without him.

“He can’t die,” Kim says hopelessly looking into Trudy’s tears stained gaze.

“Come here,” Trudy chokes and wraps her arms around Kim in a tight tug, holding her close to her body. “Come here.”

***

“What the hell happened?” Voight demands, marching into the waiting room and rapidly approaching Atwater and Halstead who are standing in a corner talking in hushed tones with their backs to the room. Hailey is sitting close to them, but she’s staring into space and doesn’t say anything or even look up as Hank approaches the small part of his unit that’s left standing. Jay and Kevin both turn slowly to face him. They’re exhausted and their gazes are dull and spacy; they’ve been run ragged by the case, and a pang of guilt flares up inside of him as he really takes in the appearance of his team.

Jay sighs and straightens up his slumped shoulders, and Hailey finally looks up, but keeps her chin resting on her hand. 

“Kim’s beat up, but physically she’ll be fine,” Jay says and glances at Kevin, who looks at the floor. The detective looks angry, and something passes through his gaze settling in like storm clouds on the horizon. “Ruz took two to the chest and one to the stomach. Where the hell were you?”

Hank’s first instinct is to fight the challenge from his most senior detective, but Hailey steps between them and makes him take a second to rethink.

“Not here, Jay,” she warns, putting one hand on her partner’s chest. She knows where he was, or at least has a pretty good guess, Hank is certain of that much. One of the guys who took Kim had rabbeted; Hank went after him.

“No, I wanna know where he was!” Jay shouts, righteous anger filling his voice. The weight of everything seems to finally be crashing down on top of him and breaking his floodwalls. “We got pinned down, Ruzek got shot three damn times, you got Kim out with patrol. Where the hell was he!”

“Jay,” Hailey says quietly and shakes her head.

The detective nods his head, glaring out at Voight; he seems to be putting together all the pieces as he keeps his gaze locked with Hank’s. “Unbelievable.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hank challenges. He knows exactly what it means, and exactly what Jay is thinking, and he’s right.

“You executed your revenge fantasy. You left and opened this unit up to further harm so you could carry out your perception of justice, and Adam got shot!” Jay shouts, pushing against Hailey.

“He had to pay!” Voight shouts back, losing his cool.

“And he would’ve!” Jay shouts  louder.

“He murdered children, he beat Kim, do you get that?”

“That doesn’t mean you can murder him,” Jay says dangerously, and one hand falls to the hand cuff tucked into his belt. “It’s horrible and evil, but that doesn’t mean you can leave, put us at risk and commit murder. When we cross that line we become no better than the people we work to put away.”

***

“How’s she doing?” Kevin asks, shuffling into  Kim’s hospital room. She’s asleep, but Trudy is sitting up in a chair next to her flipping through a magazine. After Jay and Voight decided to take their argument to the roof and Will telling him and Hailey it’ll be another couple hours before they know how Adam’s surgery went he decided to move on to Kim’s room to check in on her and wait for news there.

“She’s hurting and scared for Adam,” Trudy says quietly, setting her magazine down on her lap. She gestures to a chair in the corner. “Pull a chair up and have a seat.”

He sighs and does as he’s told. It feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s sat down, and finally taking the weight off his legs makes him realize just how heavy he felt.

“I feel like I messed up,” Kevin finally says after a long time of sitting in silence and looks up at Platt who sets down her magazine again. She doesn’t say anything, just waits patiently for him to elaborate. “We fought.”

Trudy nods. He knows she knows this, she was there.

“I don’t regret standing my ground or taking the side I did. I’d do it again, I just…” He trails off. “Ruz is my best friend and he got shot, and I can’t help but wonder if he was trying to prove something.”

“Prove what?” Trudy asks, leaning back in her chair.

“I don’t know, that he’d still have my back, and still risk his life for me,” Kevin says slowly, letting his gaze fall to the floor. He can’t help but feel like maybe he made Adam feel like what he did was something he had to do to prove himself. “But I didn’t need him to do that. He should’ve known that. I should’ve made sure he knew I still trusted him with my life.”

“It’s not your fault Kevin,” Trudy says after contemplating his words for a couple seconds. “It’s not your fault he made the choice he did, and I think he would’ve made it regardless.”

Kevin shakes his head, he can feel tears welling in his eyes. “I just don’t want him to die, Platt.”

The desk sergeant looks like she’s about to say more, but Kim moans softly next to her and flinches and stops her from saying what ever she was about to say.

“Hey, Burgess,” Kevin says and scoots closer to his old partner’s bed. He rests his hand on top of hers to let her know he’s there.

She blinks her eyes open slowly, and looks up at him. Her gaze is pained and haunted like she’s seen a ghost.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kevin asks scooting a little closer to her.

She shakes her head. “Adam…”

Kevin glances at Trudy for a second before looking back to his old partner. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Kim shakes her head again. “I had a dream,” she says with chilling calm, and her tone is that of someone lost and broken, or maybe someone who has lost something. She swallows hard,  “He died.”

“Hey, he’s not gonna die,” Kevin promises, but she doesn’t look convinced, and in all truth, he’s not convinced of what he just said either. He’s still not even sure how Adam survived the trip to the hospital. He’d lost more blood than Kevin even thought was humanly possible; there was so much of it making a pool on the ground around his body, soaking into the knees of Kevin’s pants, staining his hands as he desperately tried in vain to stop it or even slow it down- Kevin closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath trying to shake the memory, but he can’t. He can remember it, feel it even, so clearly and it won’t go away. The hot stickiness of Adam’s blood as it pushed against his hands and soaked into his own clothes and made them stick to his skin. How cold his hand was when Kevin grabbed it in the ambulance, how white his skin was.

“Kevin,” Trudy’s stern voice cuts through his unwanted memories and brings him back to reality.

“Sorry,” Kevin chokes, shaking himself, and when he looks back at Kim  she’s looking at him like she knows exactly what was running through his mind.

***

Hailey follows Hank and Jay into Kim’s hospital room. Neither of them say a word and she doesn’t ask them for the details of whatever conversation they’ve just had. Hank looks like he’s just been yelling, but Jay looks unruffled, just grim. She can only imagine what was being said, Hank had all but confessed to murdering the guy responsible for kidnapping Kim, and Jay had openly accused him of doing just that.

“How are you holding up, Burgess?” Voight asks gruffly as he comes to a standstill at the foot of her bed. His face betraying nothing about what was said between him and Jay after they left to talk privately on the roof.

Kim glances around at all of them. “I’m fine.”

She doesn’t say anything about how scared she is for Adam, but Hailey can tell she’s terrified. She knows exactly what she’s feeling.

“Good, good,” Hank says and rests one hand on her leg.

Jay clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest expectantly. Hank ducks his head. Hailey frowns and studies both of them, she’s never seen duck at someone else’s authority, especially not someone he outranks, but she can feel the shift between the two of them. Jay seems to be standing just a little taller, and Hank seems like he’s sunk somehow. It’s like there was some fight on that roof and Jay not only won, but somehow managed to surpass their leader.

“I have news guys,” Hank says, and Kevin cocks an eyebrow and looks to Jay who gives him a subtle curt nod. “I’m resigning from the CPD.”

Kim and Trudy both look stunned, Kevin doesn’t look surprised in the least, and Jay looks relieved. Hailey had been expecting something dramatic, but this wasn’t exactly this.

“Hank, why?” Trudy asks.

“It’s time,” he replies curtly, and side eyes Jay.

“Jay, can we talk?” Hailey asks, grabbing her partner and pulling him out into the hallway before he can respond or argue. 

“What did you do?” she demands as soon as they’re out of ear shot from Kim’s room. She knows Voight didn’t come to this decision on his own.

“I gave him a choice,” Jay says confidently. There’s zero conflict in his voice about whatever conversation he had with Voight. “We both know what he was doing. He murdered that guy and he put the unti at risk while he was at it. So I told him he either resigns and let him do it with some dignity, or I bring him up on murder charges.”

Hailey raises both her eyebrows in shock. “You really did that?”

“He crossed a line, Hailey,” Jay replies evenly. “And it wasn’t the first time. I’m not letting him get away scott free this time.”

***

It’s late when Marcel finally walks into Kim’s hospital room to deliver the news on Adam’s condition, and it’s just her and Trudy. So much has been happening Kim almost wishes he’d wait just so she can catch up and process her world spinning out of control before something else is thrown at her, but more than that she needs to know whether Adam will be okay.

“He made it through surgery,” the surgeon reports, his tone is gentle and comforting. “He’s not out of the woods yet, and he’s got a rough road to recovery ahead of him, but he’s stable.”

Kim lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and lets herself fall back against her pillow, relief flooding over her in waves and lifting the tiniest amount of weight off her chest. He’s not out of the woods yet, but he’s made it this far. He has a good fighting chance now; she might not lose him after all.

“Can I go see him?” She asks shifting in bed so she’s sitting up again.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Marcel says hesitantly. “You still need rest and take time to heal-”

“I’m fine,” Kim says firmly without missing a beat. Her body still aches, but comparatively she’s fine, she didn’t get shot. “He can’t wake up alone. I need to be there for him. He needs to know I’m okay when he wakes up.”

She knows Adam, she knows the way his mind works, and she has a pretty good idea of how he handled things while she was kidnapped. She needs to be there for him when he wakes up to promise him she’s okay. Not only that but she needs to see him, she needs to be there with him to see for herself that he’s going to be okay. She doesn’t care if she’s still hurting, she needs to see him. She needs him.

“Kim-”

“Please,” she pleads.

Marcel sighs and slumps his shoulders. “Okay, fine, just until he wakes up and then you need to come back here and rest.”

“Thank you,” Kim breathes, managing to relax ever so slightly. Just the thought of being allowed to be close to him makes her feel better. She’s so used to him being right there next to her everytime she needs him, he just always seems to know, like it’s his sixth sense, but this time she’s going to be there for him.

Adam’s room is quiet, too quiet; Adam is still, too still, still like he’s barely clinging to life, like he might slip away at any moment.

“I’m right here,” Kim whispers as she eases herself into the chair next to his bed and takes his hand in hers. It’s really the only thing she can think to say. She’s there and she’s not going anywhere. It doesn’t matter how long it takes him to wake up, she’s going to be there waiting for him when he comes back to her. His fingers twitch a little as she wraps her other hand around his so it’s clasped between both her hands, but other than that he doesn’t stir. He remains still and quiet.

“You’re not supposed to be the one to get hurt,” she says quietly, it seems wrong to interrupt the quiet of the room by raising her voice above a whisper, so she keeps it low. “You’ve gotta stay safe for me and Makayla, because we both know I’m apparently incapable of doing that. Adam, I need you.” She’s not sure he can hear her, but she hopes he can, and that hope is enough to keep her talking. Maybe her words will bring him back to her, give him something to cling to the way his words always did for her. “Come back to me. Please. I don’t want to do this without you.”

She can feel tears stinging her eyes as she lifts his hand to her lips; it hurts. Deep down in her chest it hurts seeing him like this, so still and quiet. She’s not exactly sure what it's like to feel her heart break, but she’s pretty sure this feeling like her chest is being crushed and the lump in her throat she can’t swallow is pretty close to it. The sound of weak shallow breaths claws at her like nothing she’s ever felt before, it hurts. It hurts worse than all the times she’s been kicked, beaten, and shot. She’s only felt this hollow aching pain once before, and that was after the miscarrage, but even then she had Adam there with her to help fill the emptiness left behind, to remind her she wasn’t alone. But now he’s the reason for that hollow pit inside of her. The one person who she needs to promise her everything will be okay, is the one person who can’t do it.

“I’m sorry,” she finally says, finding her voice again through the lump in the back of her throat. And it conveys everything she needs to say to him all at once. “I’m sorry for everything.”

She spent so much time pushing him away, fighting him everytime he tried to get close to her, but he never gave up. He kept coming back, kept trying, and she kept pushing, but now she’s done pushing. Now she’s trying to pull him back to her, cling to him and keep with her, but for the first time he just seems to be drifting away. He seems to be leaving her.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away from me,” she chokes, kissing his hand. She’s not a doctor but even she knows the numbers on the heart monitor next to him are lower than they should be, and they’ve gotten lower since she first came into the room. He’s slipping. “I’m sorry, please stay with me. Come back to me one more time. Just one more time. Please.”

She rests her head on the bed next to him so he can feel her next to him.

“I’m right here,” she promises one last time.

***

Kim wakes up to gentle fingers combing through her hair. She lifts her head and discovers Adam looking at her, with his head tilted in her direction; the smile on his face is weak and dazed, but it’s a smile, and she can tell from the glint in his tired eyes that it’s genuine.

“Didn’t mean to wake you up,” he mumbles, struggling to get the words.

“No, I’m glad you did,” she breathes, tears welling in her eyes again. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep, and frankly at the moment she’s not convinced she’s not dreaming.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Adam wheezes and brushes her cheek with his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She’s supposed to be the one comforting him, not the other way around. He’s the one who got shot and almost died, not her, but here she is, terrified, and him yet again being the one to comfort her.

“They told me you got shot,” she chokes, the tears spilling down her cheeks. “I thought you were gonna die. I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Kim, I’m not going anywhere, ever, I promise,” Adam says, firmer this time. “I’m always going to be here for you.”

Kim nods through her tears. “I just-”

“It’s okay,” Adam promises and with all the tenderness in the world, pulls her close to him as she begins to cry harder. “I’m okay Kim. I promise”

She can feel him relax as her head rests against his chest, and he lets out a sigh that can only be described as one of relief, like he’s letting his own worries go as he helps her let go of hers. She squeezes her eyes closed as she keeps her head leaned against his chest and soaks in his presence and the warmth of his body.

“I’m sorry,” Kim says aloud for him to hear this time.

“Don’t do that,” Adam soothes.

“No, Adam I’m sorry,” she says and lifts her head so she’s looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve spent so much time pushing you away, and then I almost lost you, and I can’t lose you. I don’t ever want to live without you. Adam, I love you.”

“Kim…” Adam looks surprised, not a bad kind of surprised, not even a disbelieving kind of surprised, just surprised like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.

“I love you Adam,” she says with more emphasis this time.

And now it’s his turn to start crying. His tears come from nowhere and spill down his cheeks, and before Kim knows it he’s sitting up and wrapping his arms around her.

“I love you too,” he chokes out, burying his face in her shoulder. “I was so scared, Kim. I was so scared, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to find you. Nothing else mattered. I love you so much, Kim.”

He melts into her arms and clings to her like his life depends on it. Kim wraps her arms around him and leans her head against his. Her body hurts and aches from the beating she received, and she’s sure Adam’s hurting too, but it’s all just physical, just superficial, and she doesn’t mind it at all because she’s close to Adam and nothing else matters. He’s okay, he is going to be okay, they are going to be okay.