#note that i didn't plan this beforehand and was making it up as i went and it took... maybe an hour?

[leviscolwill]

show me how

pairing: mason mount x f1 driver!reader

summary: mason brings you as his plus one to the ballon d'or ceremony and although you're both used to cameras, you still need each other to ease your minds. [wc: 1.4k]

req: i love ur jude x driversss but can we have mason and driver😔😔

contents: angst (reader has a panic attack), but other than that fluff, fluff, fluff ! established relationship, mason is a cutie patootie

note: okay this was supposed to be much shorter but i got carried away rewriting it at 1am 💀 but anyways !! first time writing for my boy (and definitely not the last) !! i hope you'll like it 🫶

now playing: show me how by men i trust (oncle jazz)

the beautiful dress you had on was probably not suited to brave paris' october wind. but your boyfriend and you had planned all of this for months already. you just flew out from the mexican gp as soon as you could and started learning the speech you wrote beforehand the moment you landed in paris.

you knew your presence at the ballon d'or ceremony was important to mason, he had a difficult time adjusting to his new club and you needed to be here for him.

you felt that was the least you could do, mason had been there for you during the whole season, facetiming you even when you were at the opposite end of the world and he needed to sleep.

your car wasn't as fast as your team had planned and all hope of a championship was close to none, the media started questioning your position within the team and whether or not you deserved a seat. safe to say, you went through a rough patch.

you were aware that coming here would give you a headache with all the questions coming your way on the red carpet. 'is your boyfriend a distraction to your career ?', 'do you think you're in f1 solely for diversity reasons ?', 'will we be able to see you on the grid next season ?' no. no. maybe.

actually, you weren't here only for mason. your pr team got you to announce the women's ballon d'or. you were extremely grateful for the opportunity, being a woman in a male-dominated sport like formula one forced you to advocate for equity and recognition of women in sports. and this was a great way to spread your message, a message you knew these players would relate to, they were also victims of sexism and misogyny in their sport after all.

however, you were still nervous, you hated public speaking and your hands were shaking at the sole thought of messing up your speech. for some reason, it was easier for you to talk in front of big cameras during races, even after a dnf, than at such an important event for a whole sport.

when you both finally got inside and were taken to your seats, you didn't even notice your leg starting to bounce on its own.

"are you okay ?" mason took your hands in his as soon as he noticed your stress.

"i'm fine, just a bit nervous" you lied. you were very nervous. you didn't know why, you've experienced worse in terms of stressful situations. hell, your job was a big stressful situation on its own.

you silently rehearsed your speech, while your mind helped you visualise everything that could possibly go wrong, exactly what you needed. falling down on stage, dropping the trophy, breaking it, stuttering during your whole speech, blanking out, passing out... all of this in front of a big audience with threatening eyes, an even bigger audience if you counted people in front of their devices, watching the ceremony.

all of these thoughts became too much for you to handle and you felt the urge to get out. obviously, you couldn't actually get out of here, you wouldn't forgive yourself for doing this to mason.

so you settled on going to the bathroom to clear your head a bit. the 'clear your head' part didn't work well though, as you felt tears well up in your eyes. the thought of your makeup running down your cheeks was enough to make you spiral again. thankfully, no one could see the scene unfold since you were confined in one of the stalls, sitting on a floor that was probably not clean enough for you to do so. you tried focusing on the conversation two girls were having just outside, praising each other's seasons.

you heard the door close, or open, you weren't able to tell.

"y/n ? are you here ?" you didn't expect to hear mason's voice.

"umm, this is the women's bathroom..." one of the two girls said to your boyfriend.

"i know... i'm looking for my girlfriend she's-"

"mase, i'm here." you slightly opened the stall's door for him to get in.

the bathroom stall was clearly too small for the both of you, so you were practically glued to mason.

"y/n... you should have told me how you felt." mason had a serious look on his face, which was quite unusual for him.

"i'm sorry, i didn't want you to worry. it's just... a lot for me, i don't want to mess it up."

mason's hands found your cheeks and made you look up to him.

"you don't need to put pressure on yourself like that y/n. i know you'll do great, you just need to tell this brain of yours to stop working overtime." his arms engulfed you in a big hug.

"no, don't hug me... i'm all snotty." you whined, trying to push him away, in vain.

"i love you even when you're snotty." he said, peppering kisses across your face.

"so cheesy."

"you love it though." he said chuckling. he was right, you loved it when mason was overly cheesy, especially when he did so to comfort you after a bad race or in moments when you simply needed him.

mason cleaned up your makeup after comforting you, and you went back to your seats hand in hand, a smile on both your faces from the intimate moment you both shared.

when you were taken backstage just before the announcement, you felt anxiety creep up again. this time mase wasn't by your side, but his words were. this was all in your head, you just needed to deliver your speech. that's it, nothing would go wrong.

you stepped on the stage with mason's words still ringing in your head when you felt hundreds of eyes on you.

the voice in the back of your head was wrong. everything went perfectly, you even caught mason's sparkly eyes when you were done announcing the women's ballon d'or winner.

getting back to your assigned seat, mason immediately congratulated you, kissing your cheek.

"you did amazing. god, you were amazing."

you were grateful for the room's shitty lightning, because mason didn't need to notice the way your cheeks started to flush at his words.

"thank you mase, i don't think i could have done it without you."

"stop saying nonsense. you did everything yourself." it seemed mason wasn't aware of how much his words, as simple as they might have been, along with his presence, were key factors in you actually pulling up to the stage. but debating with your boyfriend on such subjects was useless, so you let him believe what he wanted to.

the two of you spent the rest of the night chatting with each other in half-whispers, sometimes getting little 'shhhhh's from the audience. even though your anxiety was long forgotten, you still felt relieved when the ceremony ended. but getting home from the packed location was another issue you didn't plan.

you didn't know if you were thankful your hotel room wasn't that far from where the ceremony was held, or if you hated it. your heels were absolutely killing you and you didn't feel like walking in them, even for 200m.

"you look like a baby giraffe right now."

your boyfriend always had the right words to cheer you up, didn't he ?

"shut up. these shoes will actually be the death of me." you looked up at him with glassy eyes, hoping he'd get the message.

"i'm not about to give you my shoes y/n." his words made you sulk immediately.

"i could give you a piggyback ride to the hotel though..." you could hear mason's smirk in his tone, you knew he wouldn't do that for free.

"what do you want ?"

"a kiss." he simply said pointing at his lips.

you quickly pecked his lips, expecting your piggyback ride.

"what was that ?"

"a kiss ?" you answered, stating the obvious.

"surely not. put your heart in it will you ?" his comment made you roll your eyes but you complied anyway. you felt mason's hand sneak to the back of your neck deepening the kiss. after a few seconds, you realised you were kissing in the middle of paris' streets. you pulled away and hit his chest in false annoyance. which quickly dissipated once you were on his back, your aching feet silently thanking you.

"you're a menace." you said, although you were smiling at his antics.

"i'm your menace."

[thelovelylolly]

Hey can you make a fic where r is tony daughter and dating natasha

Morgan is a newborn wich brings out their parental side while babysitting morgan the entire team kinda surprised not used to this behaviour and natasha just goes 'yeah i'm definitely making her my wife'

Parental Side

Summary : While babysitting your new little sister with the rest of the team, your parental traits come out and Nat decides right then and there that she wants to marry you. Warnings : fem! reader (but thats it) Notes : this request is so cute, i love it! thank you for requesting it :) i did make it so pepper is the reader's step-mom and the blip didnt happen so i hope you dont mind that!

The moment you met your little sister, you fell in love with her. You were a bit hesitant when you found out your dad and step-mom were having a kid since you were a grown adult, but all of that went away the moment you saw Morgan. She was the cutest little thing and a little ball of sunshine in your family's life.

One day, you offered to babysit Morgan to let your mom and dad have a break. You brought Morgan to the compound so you could still get some work done, but you also knew the team loved her, too.

As soon as you walked through the door with Morgan in your arms, you were swarmed by your team members. You handed Morgan off to Rhodey, since he was the one you trusted most with your little sister, before going to the living room area to set up her things.

You placed a blanket down along with her toys, making sure to move anything dangerous out of the way so Morgan couldn't grab anything.

"I'm surprised Tony would let Morgan out of his sight."

You turned around and saw your girlfriend, Natasha, standing there with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

"Me, too. I promised him I'd only let certain people hold her, I'd only feed her the things he packed, all that stuff. I'm also very protective of her, so dad knows I'd never let anything happen to her," you replied as you finished setting up Morgan's little area.

You stood up, smiling at Natasha.

"You're cute, you know that?" Nat said, pulling you in by the waist.

You laughed. "You remind me everyday, Nat."

"It's because it's true," she replied before giving you a quick kiss.

You heard Rhodey and the others approach you two so you pulled away. You instantly reached for Morgan, who babbled as she reached for you. Rhodey handed her to you and you sat on the ground with her in your lap.

The others sat around you and watched as you played with Morgan. You could feel their eyes on you and you had the urge to yell at them to go back to work, but you didn't care. You just wanted to play with Morgan.

"I'm surprised," Sam said quietly while standing next to Nat.

"Surprised at what?"

"I've never seen her so...parental. I mean, she's one of the younger team members so she's never had to be parental. Tony, Rhodey and Steve usually have to parent her," Sam explained. He turned to Nat, who's eyes were locked on you. "Why aren't you surprised?"

"Well, after she was born, Tony became extremely protective and parental. Beforehand, he was-"

"A playboy?"

"Yes," Nat answered with a laugh. "Maybe she gets it from her dad. Maybe her parental side only comes out when it's her own baby sister."

Sam looked between you and Nat, a smirk forming on his face. "What are you thinking, Nat?"

"Oh, nothing. Just how I wanna marry her."

Sam patted Nat on the shoulder. "You're going to give Tony a heart attack."

"That's the plan."

You looked up at Nat, a big smile on your face. Morgan was happily blabbering as she played with her little toys. Nat blushed and smiled back.

You were the woman that Nat wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She loved you and seeing you with Morgan just made her want to marry you more.

[blue-jisungs]

SO I DANCED

author's note. im sooo proud of this one like?? both the banner and the fic huhuhuhuh idk man

word count. 1597

summary. you and your fiancé have rather... unusual ideas how to sped your dates. and making money during it.

warnings. petnames, cursing, stealing (money and a car), mention of chan carrying a gun and shooting but it’s not mentioned whether he killed someone, general illegal actions lmao, mention of blades but they’re not used!! ++ it seems chaotic but i kinda wanted to reflect the mv ++ black haired mullet chan with a lip piercing (you know EXACTLY which one) bc it deserves a warning itself ^_^ 

if someone asked you what activities you and your fiancé do during dates, your answer would be: “normal, couple stuff”. 

for example going to the movies, cafe hopping, walks in the park, shopping… 

and that wouldn’t be a lie. 

what you do on your nighttime dates, however, you wouldn’t dare describing to a stranger nor even a friend. 

maybe after all you and chan aren’t a normal couple. 

“you ready? because i swear to god if you suddenly remind yourself that you left water running at home… and you actually didn’t… i’ll choke you with my own hands” chan grinned teasingly but you didn't feel threatened at all. 

“it was just a one time thing, dumbass. i’m ready” you nodded and turned your head, resting it against the headrest. “let’s go?”

chan leaned over and pecked your lips, the cold piercing in his bottom lip grazing over yours. 

you two left the car and the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance roared, like a hungry predator hiding in the bushes. dark clouds took over the evening sky, a wide palette of greys and navies spreading above your head. cold air is hugging your body while a gentle gust runs through your hair.

“in and out, quickly. i really wanna know how that hospital playlist episode ended” chan murmured and threw you a black mask. you caught it mid-air and hid in your pocket, alongside a switchblade. 

there was no way of putting it softly, only very straightforwardly: you and your financé did robberies. what started as a joke when you were out drinking turned into… well, this.

chan patted his holster and then did a dramatic bow, letting you go first. 

it was a small bank in the suburbs and your fiancé got their blueprints beforehand (he said something soonyoung helped him get them and you decided to trust him), therefore you already knew how to get to the vault. and the plan was quite simple – and usually made up the day before.

for example, today, you’re just going to pretend to be a unsatisfied couple who is going to nag to see if their money is safe. chan had a huge talent to persuade people into doing what he wants… paired with his dangerous aura (mostly thanks to the lip piercing and dark makeup), it could only lead to success. 

walking in, your boyfriend joined your side and intertwined your hands together. giving it a gentle squeeze, he lead you to one of the assistants available. the other three must have been in a break – or so the silver “be right back!” signs in their counters suggested.

“hello there, how can i help you?” the young man behind the glass greeted you in a monotonous voice. the air inside the building was chilly, a pleasant hum of air conditioning (and something that sounded like elevator music) playing in the background. 

“we wanted to see if our deposit is safe. we heard various rumours about this place and we won’t leave until we see our money in a secure place” chan said sternly, causing you to nod. well, straight to the point.

the worker sobered up and looked at you. chan let out a grunt and pulled you closer. 

“let’s just go get the manager right away, sweetie” you cooed at the boy, making your fiancé’s lips turn upwards into a derisory smirk.

“i… uh… okay!” the worker nodded and off he went. chan leaned in to place a soft kiss on your jaw, the cold mental grazing against your skin.

“so far so good” he hummed, his cologne filling your senses. 

the worker arrived and chan didn’t care – he pecked your jaw once again before slowly leaning away. 

“are you the manager?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. the man nodded, looking you in the eye coldly. to be fair, it was late. you’d wanna go home too. 

“let me get this straight… you want to see your money?” the worker asked, letting out a deep sigh. now it was your turn to nod “and may i know your name?”

“we put the deposit on my name. pi cheolin” chan answered unbothered, putting an arm around you. you had to hold your breath in – no matter how many times he’s gonna use the fake name, it’s still going to make you snicker. 

“ah, yes” the man nodded, checking something in his papers. then he glanced at his watch “whatever. how much did you put?”

“twenty million won” chan grinned proudly. the manager checked the time again.

“fine. i can only let one person in, though” he said and looked between you two. chan nodded.

“i’ll go. it won’t take too long, right? go start the engine, sugarbear” he hummed and stood up. you watched him follow the manager and quickly after they disappeared behind a door, you decided to go back to the car. if chan told you to start the car, it could only mean one thing. 

you put on some radio, nervously shifting in the driver’s seat. usually, you were the passenger princess and you’d prefer it stayed that way… but hey, maybe it won’t be that bad? 

suddenly, the bank door burst open and you saw chan running with a black bag. 

let the race begin. 

he yanked the door hantle and almost jumped into the seat, causing you to immediately hit the road. chan let out a yelp of surprise, closing the door. good thing he was fast with it, otherwise you might would have lost a mirror. 

“it’s not our car either way…” he let out a dramatic sigh, wording out lost what you were thinking. he put the bag between his legs and turned around in his seat. you just changed the gear to the next one, ignoring the speed limits “go into the city, we’ll be able to lose them”

“do you think they’ll call backup?” you mumbled, glancing in the mirror. chan scoffed, shaking his head.

“by the time the backup arrives, we’ll be drinking wine on our couch. put the pedal to the metal, sweetcakes” your fiancé sent you a toothy grin. 

you glanced at the gear box, then at the growing red arrow on the speedometer. 

you were on the highway, it was quite empty. deciding to mess with chan, you purposely took your foot off the clutch a bit too fast after putting the highest gear. this caused the car to jerk forward and chan – who was without seatbelts – bonked his forehead against the headrest. he looked through his arm at you.

“yah” he scoffed in amusement and returned to observing your tail. they seemed to not catch up, which was great “the exit is soon, don’t worry”

“it better be because my heart is about to jump out of my body” you gritted your teeth and your knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel. 

chan suddenly opened the window and the wolf-alike howl of the wind hit your ears, your hair flowing in every direction. then, he took out his gun and leaned out of the window.

“chan–!” you yelped and were met with a gunshot ripping the air. he quickly leaned back, his back hitting the seat with his chest rising up and down irregularly.

“the exit!” he suddenly grunted and pulled the steering wheel – not enough to take a sharp turn but to lead you towards it. 

“sorry, i was just shocked by my fiancé using A GUN?” you grunted and felt - somehow - relieved finally entering the grounds you know. 

“i aimed for a tire… and it worked, i assume” chan breathed heavily, running his fingers through his black hair “we’re fine, y/n. let’s just go to the docks and leave the car there”

“you’re insane” you murmured and felt his hand on your thigh, caressing it in a reassuring motion. 

the city was soaked in night sky that already turned coal-black. the stars shone brightly, keeping you a little hopeful. as you passed the high skyscrapers and buildings, their lights blending into palettes of yellows, greens, whites and reds. 

when you arrived at the docks, chan gave you the bag to hold and took care of the car (more like drove it into the water). then, he stood next to you and wrapped an arm around your shaking self. standing in silence, you watched the vehicle disappear underneath the water surface. 

“let’s go home, pretty” chan pecked your temple and grabbed the bag, hanging it over his shoulder. 

once inside, chan placed the bag on the kitchen counter. his eyes scanned your face in worry.

“you’re okay?” he asked, taking off his leather jacket. 

“just… a little shocked, that’s all. how much did you even take…?” you asked. a joyful smile bloomed on his face as he approached you, his calloused hands landing on your waist “channie? how do you feel?” 

he broke down into laughter, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. chan started swaying your bodies, dancing in the kitchen. you soon joined him, giggled erupting from your lips. 

“let’s just say our wedding will be not from this earth” he hummed into your skin, suddenly twirling you around; moonlight shining on your faces, dancing in the middle of your shared kitchen.

main masterlist | event masterlist

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu

[keegansgf]

"bes camp counselor hcs"

my camp counselor drawings have been plaguing my brain but I always write headcanons before I ever write full fics. This was not proofread because I’m sleepy

Also I'm begging to request modern Mizu stuff, especially this camp counselor au :3 I wanna write silly slice of life again!!

pairing: mizu x fem! reader (other characters mentioned)

tags: pre-established relationship, summer camp au, modern au, band+uni au mentioned, fluff/overall silly stuff

Eiji owns the camp! He owns a couple of businesses here and there, but he offers kendo, iaido, and metalworking activities for all ages throughout summer– his day camp is for elementary kids though.

Before Mizu moved out to attend university, she helped around with Eiji's kitchenware business and helped out making kendo and iaido kits after school. She’s been doing her camp counseling gig since she was a teenager– of course, she still counsels when she visits Eiji for the summer.

She actually had no idea she could do this for volunteer hours until she found a brochure for it. She had to call Eiji to ask when he even started providing this

She considered going to visit Eiji alone in her first year of uni, but this time, she took you, Taigen, Akemi, and Ringo with her!

Mizu actually talked to you first about going back to her hometown to visit Eiji and help out with counseling, and you agreed, of course.

The rest of your friendgroup only learned about you and her leaving for the summer when you all went out to study together during the last month before summer break.

Akemi wanted to go due to her horrible seasonal depression– she'd rather have something to that isn’t just summer classes or rotting in the heat. She's just a snow princess, what can I say :(

Anyway, she thought the volunteer hours would be beneficial to her, so she asked if she could bring Taigen along.

Ringo also wanted to come for the volunteering– it would also give him an excuse to cook without destroying his personal budget. He also didn’t have anything to do over the summer, and would rather do something with the people he cares about instead of staying at his dorm or going home.

Mizu decided on getting there by doing a road trip but she absolutely refused to have anyone but you in her car– I mean, you're literally her beloved girlfriend! She doesn't want to hear any bickering from the rest of her friends– not for three or four hours while she's behind the wheel.

She’s so serious when it comes to prepping for road trips, but she does it all so quickly. Somehow she had the car all packed while you were getting ready.

Mizu doesn’t really need to take breaks as she drives, but if you wanted to take a nap, she’s already packed a few pillows and blankets for you to use.

Eiji's camp isn't an overnight one, so Akemi made arrangements to stay at a nearby apartment with Taigen. She didn't want Ringo to stress about finding a place to stay, so she got a place for him just next door in the same building.

Mizu's old room was big enough for the both of you, so she just called ahead to ask Eiji if it was okay if you stayed with her. He didn't mind– you had met before anyway, and he approved of you

You all got there a week before orientation day to get your equipment, clean, and debrief with Eiji

He had a set schedule for everybody with backup plans set up incase if there needed to be changes, but otherwise, you'd know what to do with the notes he made. He wouldn't be around much to help out since he'll be occupied with the kendo and iaido groups. He'll be there every morning for announcements though

Orientation day went smoothly; Eiji gave his greetings and introduced all of you to the kids– they were no older than elementary students. After he finished his speech and introductions, he let you all read off your attendance list to get your groups

Mizu made sure your groups rooms were nearby beforehand– luckily, everyone's rooms were in or at least near the same hallway.

Akemi absolutely adored her group! First, they were all girls, second, they all loved her! Eiji made it a requirement to wear bandanas on field trips so it's easier to spot staff and campers. Akemi sets aside time before they leave to do a few of the kids hair if they'd like their bandanas incorporated into a cute hairstyle. She wanted to get the kids into reading, so she made sure to bring a fully charged kindle everyday to read some of her favorite child friendly literature with a bit of poetry here and there. They didn't understand most of the poems, but she appreciates the effort they made to listen to her

Taigen is an instigator. It doesn't matter if they're literally 10 year olds– he'll unintentionally and intentionally instigate during activities. His group likes him and he likes his group, but they get competitive as hell when it comes to being as cool as him. He wanted to try to teach the kids how to play ultimate frisbee until he noticed how competitive they could be— it was best for him to put it off.

Kids rarely ever hate Ringo, so of course his group loved him. They act up occasionally– not intentionally since they're literally children, but they feel deep guilt when they upset Ringo because of their activity. Ringo especially likes doing high energy activities with his group first so they'll be tired out after lunch.

Mizu's group is kind of terrified of her because of how quiet she can be, but they think she's really cool. When she isn't doing activities, she's sitting at a table in her room to monitor her group while she reads here and there. She set up some coloring pages on the same table, so of course, a few kids were going to sit with her. She isn't bad at talking to kids, she just doesn't think she's interesting to them. Even if she's relatively blunt, the kids still think she's the coolest! They just have no idea how to get closer to her.

On field trips, Eiji usually drives one bus and gets a few other instructors from his martial art courses to drive another if needed.

Kids will fight to sit next to Mizu. A few kids from her group deeply disliked you for a brief period of time just because you would always sit next to her. Mizu thought it was funny seeing you distraught over their disapproval, but planned to merge your groups soon enough just so they got to know you better.

Akemi likes merging her group with Taigens on field trips just so she can take embarrassing pictures of him. He doesn't find out about those pictures until he checks her stories after the day ends.

All of you dread zoo, museum, and aquarium trips. It's always so frustrating compromising for each of the kids when they want to see something– especially when they get fussy. Mizu often asks for you to watch her group for a second while she sneaks off to the gift shop to buy you something

She does that on non-field day trips too actually. She'll ask Ringo and Akemi to take your groups during lunch every once in awhile so she can take you out on a little lunch date. The kids tease the hell out of you when you come back hand in hand, singing that y/n and Mizu kissing in a tree song. You both think it's cute until Mizu had enough of hearing it.

Akemi absolutely has favorites. One of the little girls she looks after is just a mini Akemi and she loves her dearly. On one swimming trip, she brought a few of her expensive sun care products and the girl asked her what she was using. She gave a detailed explanation of each product and offered to give her a little of the gentle products that were safe for her skin. For every other field trip, she's the first in line to get her hair done

Ringo is so over prepared for everything. He keeps a bag full of supplies of any sort in one of the buses, and in his room. Medical supplies, allergy free snacks, chargers, you name it.

The band made sure they brought their instruments with them (since they couldn't just stop practicing for an entire summer) and Eiji figured the kids would think a show would be nice. Mizu didn't want to carry this out since it would be a pain to set up, but Eiji just up and left before she could give her reasons to give up this idea.

Akemi and Ringo were thrilled to show the kids their instruments after their little show. Akemi had a few kids around her teaching them scales on her keyboard, letting them practice if they'd like and Ringo let a few kids play with his drums as long as they promised to be gentle.

Mizu and Taigen were reluctant to let any kids touch their instruments. Mizu also had to make the bass ≠ electric guitar speech too many times for her liking, even if her corrections were just "no, this is called a bass," "it's a bass," or "Taigen's is an electric guitar, this is a bass guitar."

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[misshoneyimhome]

But with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow I William Nylander & Matthew Knies - Part one 🔥🌺⚡️

Summary; A quote by Hector Urquhart goes "One man's rubbish may be another's treasure" - however, what happens, when the first man realises that it wasn't rubbish after all?

Other notes: Hey there, babes! So, this idea sparked from the Woll x Knies threesome request, and I couldn't resist working more with the sweetest freshman 😉 Before we dive in, I want to give a quick shoutout to @couldawouldashoulda50 for being my co-pilot on this journey - Thanks for putting up with all my rambling 💓🙏🏼 Also, just a heads up, this will be posted in two (or maybe three) parts because it ended up being a bit longer than planned 🙃 So, without further delay, I hope you enjoy it!

Tropes & Warnings; William Nylander x Matthew Knies x reader, Friends to lovers; jealousy; 18+ smut; fingering, protected penetrative sex (p in v), mention of oral sex (f and m receiving);

Word count; 6K+

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Your body felt numb, achy, and weak. Yet your mind was completely blissed out, soaring with ecstasy, and flooded with endorphins.

Breathing was difficult in the heavy air of the room, saturated with the scent of raw, passionate sex that hung in the air as the warmth between the two bodies flanking you enveloped you.

The memories of how you'd got here were hazy, yet there was no trace of regret. Your heart raced in your chest as tingles radiated through your core after the intense encounter. Yet, pure happiness surged through your veins, joy coursing through your bloodstream.

-

It was just before the season kicked off when you found yourself alone with William Nylander for the first time. During a night out in Toronto, the charming Swede caught your eye, and after a few minutes of exchanging glances, he finally made his way closer to you, effortlessly charming you with his dazzling blue eyes and cheeky smile.

You had moved to the city about a year ago, where your friendly and outgoing roommate had introduced you to some of her friends. Yet what she hadn't mentioned beforehand was that some of these friends happened to be players for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

You’d naturally tried to keep your cool and play the role of a casual friend whenever you were around the team and their social circles. And while you had gotten to know most of the guys on a friendly level, it never went beyond that.

That all changed on the night when you couldn't ignore the attraction you felt towards the Swedish hockey star. And when you shared a moment of connection amidst your mutual friends, you had a feeling that the night was going to be something special.

And you were right. William certainly made it a night to remember.

After a few more hours of chatting and occasional gentle touching, he edged in closer and whispered seductive words in your ear. His breath sent a shiver down your spine, and his words set off a tingling heat between your legs. There was simply no way you could resist him.

So, as soon as your roommate left with some random guy, quickly checking if you were okay to get home alone, you seized the opportunity to invite William back with you. To which he happily agreed.

Since both of you were mindful of the upcoming hockey schedule and the importance of staying in good shape, none of you had too much alcohol in the system, making you both aware of your actions.

And to say the sex was good would be an understatement. William took his time, starting with lots of kissing. His skilled mouth felt perfectly matched with yours, and as both of you became increasingly turned on and eager, he used his thick fingers to stimulate your core, stretching your entrance while circling your clit, ensuring you reached climax at least once.

Once you were wet and ready for him, he put on a condom and began slowly entering you in the missionary position. However, the tender, slow lovemaking didn't last long as the heat in your bedroom intensified. Both of you were too aroused to hold back, quickly transitioning to other positions.

First, you angled yourself on William's shoulder, allowing him to penetrate deeper and harder. Then, with both of your legs against his chest as he knelt back, he thrust into you vigorously.

At this point, your mind was already lost in a blissful haze as you gripped onto the pillowcase behind your head, and your muscles tightening around William's member. With each thrust, he stimulated your walls, bringing you closer and closer to orgasm.

And as he felt himself nearing climax as well, he released your legs, swiftly pulling out before using his strength to turn you onto your stomach. Lifting your buttocks slightly for better access, he entered you again, filling you up as he hit a different angle.

Your breaths were heavy, moans blending as his hips collided against your cheeks. Gripping the sheets beneath you, William's pounding drove you both over the edge into ecstasy, reaching climax simultaneously.

It had been uncomplicated yet deeply satisfying sex, far better than most first times with a new partner. It didn't feel rushed or impersonal; it was passionate and genuine, despite the absence of romance or deeper emotions. It was simply perfect. Your bodies had moved in sync, and both of you experienced profound pleasure.

However, after the wonderful one-night stand, William wanted to clarify that it was all it was to him – at least for now. While he knew he really liked you, he emphasised that this season he wouldn't have the time or energy to focus on dating. Instead, his priority would be his hockey career, so if the two of you were to continue anything, it would be limited to casual hook-ups and friendly get-togethers.

And, you didn't really have any objections. William was a good friend, someone you felt a connection with, and had shared interests with. Moreover, he was exceptionally attractive, and after just one encounter, feeling his body against yours, you couldn’t deny the temptation of doing it again. You’d slowly come to know him well, and despite the tiny hope of building something together, you also respected his desire to keep things non-romantic. So, you agreed on a casual friends-with-benefits arrangement whenever there was time for it.

And already following one of the first friendly matches before the start of the regular season, you shared your second night together. Which once again, was a night filled with multiple orgasms- and this time, you even got to experience William's oral skills, something you had never encountered in such an incredible way with anyone else before.

The creativity you both had with positions was simply fun and exciting. Yet while you alternated between being on top and taking the lead, William always remained the dominant character - except perhaps when you showcased your own oral talents.

In short, it was just a great causal relationship where you shared a profound connection. Both before and following the heated session, you shared laughter and smiles, before you made your way out of his condo. And to no one’s surprise, the two times then quickly turned into three times. And then four times over a few more weeks.

-

As the regular season gradually took shape, William's predictions about his limited free time outside the hockey rink proved accurate. Although you exchanged texts almost daily, sharing memes and Instagram posts, you reminded yourself that there was no deeper meaning to it. It was all just friendly banter and genuine laughter. Or well, perhaps there was a rather flirtatious sense of humour involved, as well as occasional sexual jokes and references.

And truth be told, you cherished the relationship you had with the Swede. Since he didn’t require much attention from your side, it gave you ample opportunity to get to know everyone else around the team better. So, you began spending more and more time with some of the girls, going out for brunches and having girls’ nights-in to watch the hockey matches, as well as frequenting the arena more often than before.

So, as weeks turned into months, you slowly grew closer to the other players. Whether it was dinners at the Marners’ or social gatherings with the team, you found yourself welcomed into the tightly knit circle. Something beyond what you had ever imagined your life would be like living in Toronto.

And among all the newly formed relationships, one stood out in particular. You weren’t entirely sure what sparked it, but as if out of nowhere, freshman Matthew Knies walked straight into your heart and stole it.

Perhaps it was the first time you were carrying too many iced coffees for the ladies and almost spilled them, if it hadn’t been for the young forward's help. Or maybe the connection began when he nearly ran you over near the training rink, his focus solely on navigating, oblivious to your presence.

But regardless, a connection quickly blossomed. What started as light laughter and sweet exchanges gradually evolved into coffee walks and exploring the hidden gems of the city, whenever he wanted to give the Tavares family some private time. As you knew what it was like to be new to the city, and since it wasn’t too long ago for you, you offered him company if he ever needed a break from hockey -to which he gladly accepted. And as you spent more and more hours together, you couldn’t help but feel something stirring within you.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but one thing was certain: it felt good.

Similarly, Matthew was slowly developing some kind of feelings for you as well. As he had recently ended things with his ex-girlfriend due to the distance, he found a void in his heart that needed filling. And your sweet laughter, quirky jokes, and endless storytelling about anything and everything filled that void for him.

At first, it didn’t feel romantic or anything of the sort, especially since he wasn’t seeking a relationship; you were just two good friends enjoying each other's company. And despite the little age gap, he felt like an equal. You helped him move into his new flat, shared your best easy cooking tips, while he introduced you to playing NHL on PlayStation and played a few tunes on his guitar for you. It was a simple yet profound friendship.

And as the hockey season then unfolded with its highs and lows, the emotional roller-coaster began to influence your friendships. If he ever needed a tight hug or wanted to call you while on the road just to talk about something other than hockey, you were there for him.

So, as days passed, your time gradually involved more chats with Matthew Knies, while your friendship with William Nylander softly faded into the background.

You never officially ended things with William; he was simply preoccupied with training, so your communication was limited to social media. Meanwhile, your conversations with Matthew grew deeper and more personal. Gradually, he learned more about your family, career aspirations, and the reasons for your move to Toronto, while he talked about the ups and downs of his recent relationship with his ex-girlfriend and how much he missed home.

It wasn’t until Auston Matthews brought up your and William's previous encounters that it dawned on Matthew what he had happened before he’d entered the picture. Though William had become one of his best friends on the team, he had never mentioned anything about having had a relationship with you. But after a training session, when it was just the two Arizona players left in the locker room, Auston brought it to Matthew's attention.

"He's alright with it, you know," the elder hockey star started. "About you and y/n."

Matthew was a little confused. Why would William have anything against who he was friends with?

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You know, because they had a thing going on – sleeping together and stuff like that," Auston explained, believing Matthew already knew, given his close friendships with both you and William.

"Oh... wait, what?" Matthew's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You didn't know?"

"Well, no... when did they..." Matthew's curiosity peaked.

"Oh, months ago, man... don’t worry about it, it was just before the season started, so..." Auston replied casually.

"Ah, cool... but," the younger teammate pondered whether to delve deeper. "Like, how many times? Did they go out or?"

"Just a few times, I think," Auston shrugged nonchalantly as he rose from his seat to pack his bag. "Hey, Willy's cool, and no, it’s not like they ever dated, so she's all free."

Yet, as Auston left the locker room, leaving Matthew to his own thoughts, he couldn't help but consider talking to William about it, just to be sure and not accidentally create tension with his good friend and one of the greatest players on the team.

And fortunately, the conversation with William went surprisingly smoothly.

"Of course, I don’t mind you hanging out with y/n," William simply chuckled. "I mean, sure, she's my friend and all, and yes, we slept together, but that's it, man."

"Alright, just wanted to make sure there's nothing more between you two," Matthew smiled back at his friend.

"Nah, she's amazing, I get why you want to be around her," William flashed a smile, his body language relaxed as he rested his hand on his hip, while he rubbed his beard with the other. "I mean, I just feel bad I haven't talked more with her myself, so I'm just happy she's got you, man."

Matthew felt a weight lift from his shoulders after his talk with William. While it wasn't entirely uncommon for players to have shared experiences with a girl or two occasionally, it had mostly been just for sex, and not across relationships, at least not to his knowledge.

However, what neither you nor Matthew knew was that William had been thinking a lot about your growing friendship. Initially, he found it sweet and nice that you were chatting with everyone on and around the team, giving him the space he'd said he needed to focus on his game.

But as you gradually stopped flirting with him, both in person and through messages, he started to feel the change sting a little. He knew he was the one who had said there couldn't be more between you than just sex, but when even that didn't happen, he felt as if you were slowly distancing yourself from him. And he was losing you both as a lover and a friend.

So, even though he acted cool and chill about the closeness between you and the freshman, he still couldn’t deny that it got to him. The connection he had shared with you felt almost unique, and he wasn’t ready to let it fade completely.

-

Months had passed since your first night with William, and life in Toronto was nothing short of amazing. You had a lovely group of friends, with most of your nights spent watching hockey matches alongside them, occasionally dining out with the team.

Everything seemed perfect, except for the fact that you still missed William deeply. Despite convincing yourself from the beginning that you never harboured any deeper feelings for him, you couldn’t deny the disappointment you felt when your relationship never progressed further or lasted. You simply couldn’t escape the significance of your connection with him and seeing him so often around the rink or when going out, made it clear that you needed to find a way to move on.

And fortunately, your relationship with Matthew helped ease the hurt you were feeling. He was an amazing guy, and to you it almost seemed crazy that his ex-girlfriend had let him go. He was sweet, caring, and surprisingly mature for his age. And you knew you were slowly developing feelings for him.

So, one Friday night, as you were out with some girlfriends not in the hockey group, you shared your troubles, hoping for advice from outsiders.

"If you want my opinion," Bethany spoke, holding her drink as you’d moved from dinner to cocktails. "What you need is closure. Tell this Will directly that you’re over him, cut him out, and then move on with that other guy, since you seem really into him."

You had tried to avoid giving too many details about who your relationships were with to your girlfriends, wary of any misunderstandings getting out to the media. Yet their input did have you thinking.

"I can’t just cut him out... I see him around all the time, he’s part of the group of friends, and..." you tried to explain. "I don’t know... I might still like him a little..." You finally admitted to yourself.

“Well, then I don’t see any other option,” Carol chimed in with a raised eyebrow. “You need to sleep with Matts. The best way to get over a guy is to sleep with another.”

The girls giggled and cheered at her remark, but despite trying to join in the mood, you couldn’t shake the knot in your stomach. You weren’t entirely sure if this was truly the way to go. Making a move on Matthew meant there would most likely be no going back to William. But if you let the memories of William, knowing he didn’t feel the same for you, hold you back from developing things with Matthew, you knew you’d regret it too.

So, torn between your feelings for the two men, you ordered another Espresso Martini followed by a Cosmopolitan.

You weren’t exactly tipsy or drunk, but you had just the right amount of liquid courage to steel yourself. And as you parted ways with the girls and made your way to the subway station, you pulled out your phone to find the name of the person you felt a need for calling.

However, as you stood there, hesitating over the 'call' button with your finger, a wave of unease washed over you. And upon glancing to your right, you spotted a group of men staring in your direction.

Initially, you tried to ignore them, but as they slowly edged closer, adrenaline started to course through you. And suddenly, one of them made lewd remarks, prompting you to press the screen.

"You tried to reach William Nylander. Please leave a message after the tone. *beep*"

With a frustrated sigh, you muttered, "Shit..."

The train finally arrived, and you pondered your next move. Since the men appeared to be waiting for the same train, you stopped yourself from entering and watched to see if they did. Breathing a sigh of relief when they did, you remained on the platform and decided to wait for the next one. However, just before the doors closed, two of them stepped back onto the platform.

And this time panic surged within you, so you swiftly switched to plan B.

"Hey," Matthew's voice echoed through the phone, instantly comforting you.

"H-hey, Matts..." your voice quivered slightly, despite your efforts to stay composed. "I hope I'm not disturbing your evening..."

"No, I'm just chilling at home... y/n, are you alright?" His concern was evident in his voice.

"I... I just..." you stuttered, avoiding direct eye contact with the two men but catching them in the corner of your eye. "I'm just feeling a bit..."

"What's wrong?"

But before you could respond, one of the men started heckling you again. "Hey, sweetheart! Lost your way? Need a tour guide? I'll show you a real good time!"

You had to take a deep breath to steady yourself.

"What's going on, y/n?" Matthew's voice was firm. “Who was that?”

"There are... um, some guys, Matts," you whispered, struggling to hold back tears. "It's really uncomfortable, and I just needed to talk to someone..."

"Where are you?"

"I'm..." you paused, gathering your thoughts before informing him about your location.

"Just stay there and try to keep away from the guys... I'll come and get you," Matthew quickly declared.

And before you could even attempt to object, he was already on his way out the door. You had to take in a deep breath as you tried your best to move your feet, feeling anxious as the men didn’t seem to leave you alone. Yet, with a little force, you managed to slowly move from your spot, and wander the platform a little. And with Matthew still on the line, you then cautiously moved towards the exit, avoiding glances back at the unsettling men. However, as you rode the escalator, you inadvertently looked back and spotted them trailing behind you.

"Please tell me you're close..." you whispered urgently. It almost seemed like forever before you were able to escape the uncomfortable situation. Yet thankfully, as soon as you reached street level, you spotted Matthew rolling up in his car, prompting you to hurry towards him.

"Oh my God! Thank you!" you exclaimed breathlessly, wrapping your arms around his neck, almost throwing yourself at him. "Thank you..."

"Hey, y/n… it’s okay," Matthew's voice was soothing as you gently pulled away, your eyes tinged with tears of frustration. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright..."

You were at a loss for words. It almost felt like he had rescued you. Even though the danger wasn't anything extreme, it had felt that way in the moment, and you were incredibly grateful that he had taken the initiative to come and pick you up without you even having to ask.

"I am... now," you breathed out, attempting to muster a smile.

"Good," Matthew returned the smile as he prepared to resume driving. "Let me take you home then."

It was a smooth ride filled with light giggles and laughter, and you probably thanked him about a thousand times before you reached your apartment building. However, as you were about to exit the car, you hesitated for a moment. Pressing your lips together, you pondered whether to speak your thoughts, yet with a light blush of embarrassment rising to your cheek, you pushed yourself to let the words slip out.

"Matts..." you softly began, your eyes meeting his in the dimmed lights. "Y/rm/n isn’t home, and… I sort of don’t feel like being alone tonight... after what happened..."

Your eyes briefly glanced down at your fingers before returning to meet his gaze. Yet, Matthew just offered you a soft smile.

"Hey, y/n, if you want me to stay with you, I can stay… It's no problem."

It didn’t take much convincing, given that Matthew only wanted you to feel safe. So, as you made your way to your flat and settled onto the sofa, you again couldn’t help but express your gratitude.

"You don’t have to keep thanking me y/n," he chuckled as you offered him something to drink, sitting next to him.

"I know... I’m sorry, it’s just so sweet of you," you flashed him a smile. “I just feel like I owe you something.”

Pausing for a brief moment, Matthew put down his glass and leaned slightly towards you, pressing his lips together before speaking. "Y/n... you owe me nothing - honestly, I’d do anything for you..." he let out a soft breath, his eyes meeting yours in a tender gaze. "I mean... that’s what friends are for, right..." The last part came out softer, and perhaps a little hesitant as he didn’t truly want to have phrased it like that.

Yet, his words hung in the air for a moment as you savoured the moment of the two of you together, alone in the apartment as your roommate was out.

"Right," you smiled. "That's what friends are for," you repeated softly.

Another moment of silence lingered as the two of you just sat there, sharing eye contact. Matthew’s arm draped over the back of the sofa, your body slightly turned towards him, and your knee lightly touching his.

Matthew felt his heart pounding in his chest, his palms a little sweaty. He was a little unsure of your signals, however, as you maintained your focused gaze on him, he suddenly felt a rush of confidence and without much thought, he decided to slowly lean in to close the gap between you.

It was just for a brief moment, yet the quick kiss Matthew shared with you caused your lips to tingle.

"Shit... I’m so sorry," he muttered softly as he quickly pulled away.

But you didn’t want him to feel apologetic. In fact, you had had the same inclination, but lacked the confidence to act on it. "No... Matts, it’s okay," you replied, your tone just above a whisper.

"Really?"

And without any verbal confirmation, you simply just slowly leaned in and connected your lips once more. However, this time, they stayed connected for a little longer.

Gently feeling his smooth mouth on yours, your hand rested on his cheek while his found your hip, and almost in slow motion, your lips moved against each other as you shared your breaths. Then very delicately, both of you parted your lips and carefully let your tongues meet in a sensual dance.

It was a soft and gentle kiss, nothing sloppy or rushed. Then slowly pulling apart, you both let out a breath.

"Just to be sure..." Matthew spoke gently. "You’re not just doing this because of what happened tonight, are you?"

Softly, you shook your head, reassuring him that you’d been thinking the same. And with that understanding, you both aimed for another deep kiss. This one hungrier, and slowly growing more intense as you let your hands gently explore each other, pulling each other close.

With every passing moment, it grew deeper and deeper, sending warmth within you that you hadn't felt since your first night with William. However, as you moved to sit in Matthew’s lap, thoughts of William slowly faded, and you didn't even notice your phone buzzing on the coffee table.

As morning light seeped in through the curtains and you slowly awakened from your slumber, a gentle smile graced your lips as you felt Matthew’s arm enveloping your body. Despite him being clad in sweats, you could feel the warmth of his muscular, bare chest against your back.

You lay there for a moment, listening to the comforting rhythm of his breathing, not quite snoring yet emitting odd noises. And you couldn’t help but relish in the memories of last night.

Nothing overtly sexual had happened between you. Instead, you had spent the evening on the sofa, sharing deep kisses and simply enjoying the connection between you. Although you felt a certain level of attraction towards the younger hockey player, you didn’t want to rush into anything. For once, you wanted to take things slow.

And Matthew seemed to be on the same page as you, despite the evident arousal indicated by the hardness in his sweats. Yet, he remained respectful, and when you both realised how late it was, you decided to retire to bed.

Initially, Matthew had merely intended to ensure you fell asleep, tucking you into your oversized t-shirt and beneath the covers. However, as he lay on the bed beside you, admiring your beauty as you drifted off, he too succumbed to a wave of fatigue and ended up falling asleep with his arm around you.

And upon waking up to find you smiling at him, he had no regrets. “Morning,” his husky voice greeted, his eyes still slowly opening.

“Morning,” you replied sweetly. “Did you sleep alright?” you asked, noticing how his rather large frame occupied a significant space of your 1.5-person sized bed.

"Actually, I did," he chuckled, his voice rough and endearing.

There was a tender moment lingering between the two of you as your eyes met. However, the soft moment was suddenly interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

"What the..." you muttered under your breath, slightly baffled as to who would ring your doorbell early on a Saturday morning.

Yet as you made your way to the hallway and swung the door open, you were met with none other than your Swedish friend.

"Willy..." you breathed out, slightly shocked that he had shown up at your door.

"Good! You’re alive," he spoke perhaps a little too sharply, while his eyes were filled with concern.

"What do you mean?"

"I tried calling you yesterday, after you tried to call me," he explained, his tone softening a tad as he locked eyes with you. "But you didn't answer, so I gave it another shot and texted you... but then you didn't text me back or anything, so I started freaking out a little... I mean... I just wanted to make sure you were alright - so I came here before heading to the morning skate."

You let out a sigh as you listened to his words, a small wave of guilt washing over you to how concerned he’d been. "Shit... Willy, I'm really sorry... I was out with some girls, and then there were these guys making me really uncomfortable," you blurted out suddenly, feeling the need to explain.

"Shit what, hold on... what guys? Y/n are you alright?" he asked, a hint of panic creeping into his voice, feeling the guilt for not answering when you needed help.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine... everything sorted itself out," you reassured him, trying to keep calm. But before you could elaborate, Matthew emerged from your bedroom, throwing on his t-shirt from the night before.

And William's gaze immediately landed on him walking into the hallway. "Kniesy?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Hey Willy," Matthew replied softly, moving slightly behind you as he greeted his teammate.

"What are you... Did you sleep here..." William started to speak, but his words trailed off as he looked between you and his teammate. "I mean, that’s none of my business..." William shook his head as he processed the situation.

"Willy, no, Matt just stayed here after giving me a lift home," you explained, feeling another twinge of guilt for some reason. You weren't entirely sure why you cared so much about what William thought had happened, yet you sensed it had something to do with your still lingering feelings for him.

"Right, fair enough..." William tried to play it cool, yet he couldn't ignore the flicker of jealousy igniting within him. Though there was a fleeting temptation to punch his mate and teammate, he knew he had no grounds to be jealous. You weren't his to claim, and Matthew had only acted out of concern. So, rubbing his eyebrow with his thumb as he collected his thoughts, he spoke again. "Well, uh, guess I'll catch you at practice then,” he nodded towards the younger player.

-

Nothing particularly dramatic went down at morning practice, but there was a bit of tension brewing between the Swede and the lad from Arizona that didn't escape notice.

Despite William making an effort to appear calm and collected about the events of the previous night, he couldn't quite shake the irritation he felt towards himself. He knew he had feelings for you, probably since the first time you spent several nights together, getting intimate in various ways. And as he was aware that he hadn't pursued anything further, he couldn't help but feel some regret now that he saw you moving on with someone else. And not just anyone else – his teammate and close friend.

His frustration was even clear during training, when he couldn't score the way he wanted to, so he knew it was getting to him more than it should. "Fuuuuuck," he muttered to himself after another failed attempt.

Meanwhile, Matthew was unsure how to act around his friend. Part of him wanted to explain himself, to tell William that he had feelings for you, and he didn't feel guilty about it. But the truth was, he did feel guilty. He knew you'd been with William first, and that William hadn't exactly ended things with you – it just sorts of fizzled out. So, he understood that there were still lingering feelings or something between you.

"Alright, that's it for today! See you all later for the game!" Coach Keefe announced, signalling the end of the morning training session.

The locker room was buzzing with anticipation for tonight's match. However, as the boys left one by one, leaving William as the last to finish up, Matthew, sitting just two stalls away, saw an opportunity to address whatever was going on.

"Hey," he approached gently, despite knowing William wasn't in the best mood after practice.

"What's up?"

"I, um... we're good, right?" the younger forward asked. "Like, you and me, we're good..."

William had a feeling of what Matthew was referring to, so as cool as he was, he just shrugged. “Yeah, of course.”

“Good, alright,” Matthew nodded.

“I mean, thanks, for… you know being there for y/n,” William then added with a gentle smile, trying his best to hide his complicated feelings still stirring within him.

“Of course, I mean when she called and said she wasn’t alright, it was the only thing I wanted to do…”

William nodded. “Right… yeah, that’s good…”

There was a brief moment of silence as the two boys just sat there and gently nodded in agreement.

“Willy, just to be sure… there’s nothing going on between you two, anymore, right?” Matthew stepped carefully.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… let’s say, I want to make a move on her, ask her out, you know- you’ll be okay with it?”

Pouting his lips William pondered for a moment. Of course, he wouldn’t be okay with it. He still had feelings for you and if Matthew made a move on you, it would probably complicate things even further.

“Well, have you asked her out? I mean, is there like something official going on?”

“Uhm… no but, I guess I might want to… and I wouldn’t want you to be mad if you know she wants it too…”

“Ah… yeah alright…” William thought for a moment. The angel on his shoulder knew he could be the good guy here, admitting his wrongs, yet the devil on the other shoulder told him to play the game, and not give up. “But I mean if there’s nothing official between you… then I can still…. You know, take a shot.”

It was as if small competition was slowly forming. Something neither of the boys truly wanted, yet it started to seem inevitable.

“You want to take a shot?”

“Well, yeah maybe… I mean, I still like her.”

“Yeah, but you also said you didn’t want to date her – you dumped her, remember?”

“I didn’t dump her… I just… I wasn’t ready, alright… I am now, and I mean it’s not like anything has happened between you – it’s just a crush you can get over.”

Though Matthew knew that William had slept with you, and he hadn’t, he still knew that there was something between you and him.  “Well, something’s happened – we made out.”

“You kissed?” William froze a little. “When?”

“Last night… a lot actually…” It was his best card to play, but he knew it held significance.

William pondered again. So, he hadn’t just picked you up and driven you home. You’d invited him inside and made out before you let him sleep in your bed. Something William hadn’t done, as whenever the two of you had had sex, you hadn’t spent the night together.

“Hmm…” Was all he managed to reply, as he gazed into the thin air.

“I’m sorry Willy…. But I like her, and I really think she likes me too… so, maybe it’s best if you just… admit you blew your chance and step aside.”

Matthew felt bold as he spoke the words. He was confident that he had the upper hand, and that William was the fool who’d let you go too soon. Yet, there was one thing he hadn’t considered.

“You know…” William spoke softly, turning his eyes to Matthew. “Last night… before she called you… she called me first…” he let the word hang in the air for a few seconds before speaking again. “So, maybe I haven’t lost her completely… and I don’t think I can step aside… not without trying…”

The air felt heavy as Matthew realised that you might also still harbour feelings for William as well. It almost felt like a knife to the heart as he thought he’d have to fight one of his best friends to win you over, yet he couldn’t let it go. Not at this point. He’d fallen for you, and there was no escaping his feelings.

Meanwhile, William struggled with his own thoughts. Should he really back off and let Matthew go for it with you? Or should he try one last time, knowing that at least he tried to fight for you, and not just give you up that easily? And though he for a moment considered stepping aside, he just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t in his nature to give up. And given the fact that no other woman had ever made him feel the way you had, he wasn’t ready to let you go.

[saltofmercury]

hi i love ur writing sm and i hope you dont mind my request! can you do one where könig has a s/o that's prone to fainting and he's the one who catches them and just wait until they wake up like it's a normal occurrence now? IM NOT SURE HOW TO EXPLAIN but im prone to fainting and just hope for a könig in my life

hi hi! omg are you my twin? I used to pass out ALL THE TIME. Especially from period pain.

Pairing: König x f!reader

Summary: König helps you when you pass out.

a/n: This was so fun to write because I have passed out multiple times because of period pain, not being hydrated, and even one time because I got my ears pierced and the pain was too much. LOL enjoy!

"Collapse"

You remember the first time it happened.

You had a weird pain throbbing against your stomach, that wouldn’t go away for some reason. You were shopping in the store with your mom. You figured it was nothing, but then you felt hot, how hot your body felt, you kept going throughout the store, when suddenly, the room started to get dark, small bubbles of black and white appeared in your eyesight, your legs felt like jello, and sure enough you woke up breathing heavy, covered in sweat, with over 5 people crowding around you. Your mom had wondered where you wandered off to, but she did not expect this.

The second time it happened it was because of not eating. You were outside in the hot heat. You were a camp counselor rushing to your next activity planned for the day. You forgot to eat something and ran over to the next group. As you started talking, you felt fuzzy. The heat pounding on your head, you started to feel hot again. Why didn't you pick a swimming activity like the rest of the counselors? You moved up the hill with your troop, drinking water excessively, when the dots appeared again. You settle yourself on the floor and let the other adult take the activity. Not this again.

Again, you woke up with the kids and adults surrounding you, covered in sweat, breathing heavily. 

Several trips to the hospital, multiple scans, and even an EKG but nothing abnormal was detected. You just passed out.

The doctor had ruled out multiple theories, just told you to keep hydrated, eat something beforehand, to keep something with you in case your blood sugar went down. There was nothing wrong with you.

Several more instances played out throughout your life, and you knew to carry snacks with you at all times, not stay out in the sun too long, if you were in pain, to reach out to someone or lay in your car until it fades away. It became regular, there was nothing to really do.

It became less scary, and just something you knew how to deal with. 

*

It was one of the first things you told König on your dates. When you told König about it, he looked at you skeptically. 

“Are you sure, schatz?” he took a sip from his coffee in front of him, “There HAS to be more tests done.”

“Nope,” you said, secure of your doctors and self. “It just happens, there's no clear diagnosis.”

“Could be because of pain, low blood sugar, heat, anything really.”

And you hadn't had a fainting episode as of lately, your blood sugar didn’t run low, you weren’t in any pain, and you drank plenty of water. It seemed fine.

“I’ll let you know if it ever happens.” you said confidently. “I can tell usually when it's going to happen.”

König looked at you like you were crazy. 

“You can tell?” he stared at you, one eyebrow raised, and his hand toying with the cup in front of him.

“I'll explain it to you, usually I get really hot when it happens.” you paused looking at him. He looked like he was mentally taking notes.

“For some reason, I get clammy, hot, and I can tell I feel a little weak.”

He nodded, telling you to continue.

“Then when I can feel that happening, I see black and white dots taking over my vision, sort of like a dark aura coming into play.”

He looked at you like you were making it up. How were you not scared?

You smiled back. “It’s not as scary as it seems, it just happens.” you shrugged.

*

The first time it happened with König he was thankful that you were so calm. You guys had been wandering around an IKEA store finding a bookshelf for your books, and a new coffee table to put inside the entrance of his house.

You hated IKEA. The place was designed as a never ending escape room, on a constant loop. You were bumping into things constantly, and lost. König felt out of place here. He was like a giant placed inside a doll house.

“Everything here is so small, are you joking?” He looked at the table for six people. He looked like he could take up half of the table.

You were leading the way hoping and praying you would find the bookshelf section when all of a sudden you bumped your hip into some weird corner of a dresser.

“Oh… OW”

You rubbed the spot furiously.

“Are you alright?” König asked. “I saw you from the table section running straight into that.”

“Yeah I'm fine. It really hurt though.” The pain for some reason did not go away, and you started seeing the black dots come into vision.

“König…” you said gently, now the spot had been throbbing. “Don’t freak out, but I think I'm going to pass out.”

He looked at you. You had suddenly become pale, your face drained from blood, and you were sweaty all over. “Schatz… you don’t look well.”

“OW ow ow, yeah just, stay calm i’ll come back to-”

You closed your eyes and tumbled back.

König could only describe it as a limp doll falling backward. He immediately took two steps to catch you, and had held you, positioning your legs up against the dresser that caused this.

He remembered Horangi telling him about fainting and helping his other teammate when they passed out from a wound. 

He was starting to freak out. Luckily there weren't too many people around, and your breathing went from shallow fast inhales, to normal, regular inhales.

You gained consciousness again, hearing König mumble in German. Your eyesight wasn’t back completely, but you could hear, and once you focused your vision it was back.

König had held your head on his lap, was fanning you with some throw pillow, your legs propped up against a dresser.

“Hi” you said weakly.

“Jesus schatz, you scared me! How are you feeling?

You smiled weakly and answered “I’m ok just sweaty is all.” You picked yourself up, König behind you insisting you sit down a bit.

The car ride home he kept pestering you,

“BUT HOW did you know it was going to happen?” He kept questioning you as if he couldn’t believe it really happened.

“I just know” you said calmly

“We don’t have to call 911, or get you to the hospital?” He questioned you endlessly.

“No, just I'll be ok.” you grabbed a small candy bag from your backpack. “It was just pain, guess my body couldn’t take it.” you laughed and popped a candy gummy fish.

*

The longer you two dated, the more König started taking things seriously and even had started packing things for you. A small bag of candy in case you needed sugar, a hydration packet, an ice pack, and sugar gum. Small things like this just to prevent what happened at IKEA.

You guys were heading out to some event in a small town, you insisted that the whole place was going to be fun.

The place was crowded, filled with food vendors, different vendors selling their items, children running around, families having picnics outside, and many other small events crowding the area.

You held König’s hand as you guys walked through the crowd, worried that it could be too much for him. He was holding your hand because it was hot out today, and you didn’t have enough water.

You had found a spot to buy food from, while he found a small spot under a tree, placing your blanket down.

The heat was awful, standing in the line, you felt the heat beat down your hair and sweat dripping down your neck. There were 2 more people in front of you, a mom making changes to her order constantly. Your stomach grumbled and you felt your mouth dry up.

Fuck not again. You could see it happening, you tried not to psych yourself out because if you did it would happen. You tried to find König, he was only a couple feet away, but you could see he sensed it. He made eye contact with you, and ran over to you.

Cold water bottle in hand, he jogged a couple feet, you barely reached out to him, before your vision tunneled. This time it wasn’t so bad, you could feel him catch you before mumbling,

“I got you, you’re okay.” He said softly, dumped some cold water on your head, picked you up, wrapping your legs on top of his arms.

Your vision, still blurry and pitch black, you could feel the wind on your face, the sun’s rays on your eyelids trying to keep you down.

A few small cries of “Is she okay?” “That was such a good catch! “Do you need anything?”

König talking back to the people “She’s alright happens more often than you think.” Walking around with you.

You regained consciousness again, your head on König’s lap, he had a cold compress on your forehead, playing with your hair, fanning your face.

“Sorry..” you mumbled. Trying to face him.

He hushed you, “It’s alright babe, I kind of saw it happening.”

You blushed, looking away from him.

He put the fan down and grabbed the candy bag out of the backpack.

“Let’s get you hydrated and some sugar back in you, yeah?

[csuitebitches]

Do you have any recommendations for how to network while also dealing with major anxiety issues?

It's one of those things I know I should do, but I generally don't because of social anxiety. At the last event I went to (part of a class, mandatory attendance), I made sure my instructor knew I was there, but otherwise didn't talk to anyone and left at the first opportunity to narrowly avoid a panic attack.

There's another one coming up next week (also mandatory attendance), and I want to make the most of it, but I also get so stressed out thinking about it that I start crying, and don't know where to start.

I’ll be honest. I hope you can go to therapy or counselling because this is a little above my pay grade. I’ll share what I generally do.

I make a list before any social event, be it a conference, a new friend’s dinner party, etc. I write down:

1. exactly who the target market (attendees) is (professionals, young adults, senior ranked employees etc).

2. I set a few talking points for myself and write those down.

If it’s a work event, I’ll make sure I know what’s happening in the market so that I’m up to date. If I need help with a certain issue at work - let’s say something isn’t being configured in an app because of XYZ reasons - I’ll note it down so that if I find a person working in that relevant field, I can use that both as conversation but also for my benefit.

If I’m meeting new friends, I’ll quickly go over recent pop culture, travel plans, latest in politics, newly released albums, upcoming holidays. These are generally the most common topics. If there’s something I don’t want to talk about that is generally spoken about - example, my dating life - I think of the best answer to that question beforehand.

3. I set a goal for myself.

Most of the time, my goal is to talk to at least 3 people enough to get their contact numbers.

If I end up feeling really nervous before any event, I sit in my car and listen to some meditative music, talk some deep breaths, talk to myself out loud, etc. I motivate myself the way I’d motivate a friend.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

first day as the envoy of Yan, and i have a brilliant, amazing, fool-proof plan to assassinate the warmongering tyrant of Qin. I've got the head of a famous general inside a box, a poison dagger hidden inside a map and my backup is ruthless murderer who killed a man at age 13. mark my words, this day will go down in history!

update: my backup got cold feet and became catatonic with fear the moment we set foot in the palace. i quickly spun a story about him being a country bumpkin who was suffering culture shock but now the guards are suspicious and i have to approach the throne room alone--well, mostly alone. Oh, General-Inside-A-Box, we're really in it now.

update: the Warmonger laughed at my joke! i am going to get a good evaluation for regicide, which is normal to want and possible to achieve.

update: it's time to present the map. my palms are sweaty, knees weak and this scroll feels so heavy. i regret eating so much of my niang's dalu mian beforehand because someone didn't put enough salt inside this box and the general (heaven rest his brave soul) is starting to smell and to be honest it's making me a little nauseous. the fear rises in my gullet, strong and acrid, threatening to choke me, but i force it down and put on a brave front, like a swan on a tranquil lake, kicking like mad underneath. this is my one opportunity and i cannot let it slip away. Yan too small to meet the might of this tyrant in open battle. for the sake of my people and all that i love, i must prevail.

update: i missed.

update: i am now chasing the Warmonger around the throne room. he cant unsheathe his Hugely Impractical Ceremonial Sword and none of his ministers are permitted to carry weapons so they just stand on the sidelines yelling advice. eventually the court physician comes to his senses and throws his medicine bag at me, giving the Warmonger an opening to finally get his sword out and cut me down. i throw my knife at him (also missed) as a final act of defiance but frankly speaking, there's not much face left to salvage here. when i enter the afterlife, the general is laughing so hard his head almost falls off again. i am never going to live this down.

update: I go down in history as a hero and one of the Five Great Assassins. really makes you wonder about the other four.

update: oh my god! my best friend is here too! what a sight for sore eyes, i can't wait to catch up and play some tunes with him!

notes under the cut:

The story takes place in 228 BC, the King of Qin is in the middle of a brutal war of conquest. In the span of just ten years (In 230--221 BC) he will unify china and become the first Emperor (the terracotta warriors belong to him). He will go down in history as both a cruel tyrant and brilliant statesman, to call him influential is to say the Yangtze river is "just a big puddle."

Jing ke -- (the assassin) originally hails from the state of Wei, which was conquered by Qin, afterwards he became a retainer of Yan and joined the plot to seek revenge. I simplified the story a lot for the sake of narrative clarity.

General Huan Yi -- former general of Qin who lost favour with the King. In an absolute bro move, he agreed to commit suicide and let his head be used as a "gift" for the assassination attempt. I couldn't find any sources on how severed heads were preserved during this time, but drying + curing with salt seemed pretty reasonable so i went with that.

yes, i did just combine the Second Century Warlord with Eminem to create an unholy abomination that is the deepest of deep cuts. 娘 Niáng -- [Mum] considered archaic 打卤面 Dǎ lǔ miàn--braised noodles

Jing Ke's buddy Gao Jianli (who is a famous musician) ALSO tries to kill King Qin to avenge his friend's death. He was recognised and blinded before his first attempt, but was allowed to stay. During this time, he ingratiated himself with the king and hid weights inside his instrument, biding his time until he could get close enough to take a swing (spoiler: he also missed).

[imongmamabitch]

A Kid? (Kazuki Kurusu x gn!reader)

...notes: I have watched buddy daddies and I love kazukii, also its 12 am so if it doesn't make sense, that's why.

...contains: fluff, a hint of angst, brief mention of cheating, brief allusion to cheating (tho it never happens)

"WHERE IS HE?!" you thought to yourself as you kept waiting for your boyfriend to call you and tell you how their mission went. It's been over 2 hours since he last texted you, the text said that everything would go smoothly and that he would come over after.

Their missions always ended fast because of how well thought out their plans were, so you don't know what's keeping Kazuki right now. You huffed and set your phone on your night stand, you'll just have to deal with it and give Kazuki his gift in the morning.

Morning came and you checked your phone first thing, still no messages. You sighed and made up your mind to just go visit Rei's place since he'd be most likely there.

You take your keys and gift and walk over to Rei's place, since his flat was just a floor below you. When you get there, you knock on the door and wait for an answer. A minute passed and nobody answered, so you knocked again. Still no response.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, is Kazuki still asleep? Normally he'd be up by now making breakfast. You knocked yet again, "Kazuki? Are you there?" At that, the door finally opened, revealing a very annoyed Rei.

"Rei! Is Kazuki home?" you asked, fiddling with the ribbon you tied Kazuki's gift with. "He's here." Rei grumbled and opened the door wide for you to go inside. Thanking him, you quickly walk to the living room, setting the gift down on the coffee table. When you turned around you saw Kazuki holding a child.

You froze.

What the hell?

Kazuki looked at you confused at first before he finally realized what  you were looking at. "It- it's not what you think! Let me explain!" He waved his arm around nervously and put the child down, "Her name's Miri and we're trying to find a way to get her home."

"How did she get here?" you asked, there was no reason for you not to believe Kazuki. You trusted him with your life so you trust him enough not to have cheated on you during your relationship. He's always been a gentleman, telling you beforehand if a mission requires seduction so you wouldn't have to worry.

"I took the train!" Miri said with glee, like she was proud of herself and she most likely was. Kazuki sighs, "The things we know are that she lives far away and her mother's a singer." You think for a second, trying to remember any celebrity singer that had a child like Miri and you draw a blank.

"That doesn't really give much info." you said, "But you're going to find a way to get that information aren't you?" Kazuki scratches his head, "That's what we're doing next, we were just about to leave actually."

"We?"

"Me and Rei."

…

You crossed your arms, "You were just about to leave this child alone, in this apartment, unsupervised?" you could see Kazuki visibly start to sweat, "Rei wasn't going to stay with her so…" If looks could kill, the glare you'd sent his way would've had him dead by now.

"I'll look after her for you." you finally said after several minutes of tense silence. Kazuki sighed in relief, relieved to not be under your intense gaze any longer. He turns on the TV to a children's channel and kissed you on the cheek, "We'll be right back. Miri, be good, okay?"

Miri didn't bother to answer, eyes glued to the screen as she danced with the animated vegetables. You smile and gently push your boyfriend, "She'll be fine, dear, now go."

With that, Kazuki's off with Rei in tow, leaving you with a child, who doesn't seem to be losing energy anytime soon.

© do not repost, translate, heavily reference any of my works and please reblog

[oneglass-zinfandel]

Comforting Nightmares

Pairing: Leviathan x gn!Reader

Type: fluff, comfort, mention of angst??

Length: one shot

Summary: You and Levi hangout late in his room but when you eventually decide to go to sleep you are soon woke up by Levi having a bad dream

Note: This probably sucks ass, I'm supposed to be reading a book for school cuz I have it tomorrow but I wrote this instead. Enjoy this shit.

Warnings: slight angst I guess (verbal), Otaku (/jk)

11:00PM

You and Levi has decided to spend the night together unknown to the rest of the brothers. You two snuck in snacks into his room as well as drinks. You both "went to bed", you texting the family group chat good night per usual.

12:00PM

It has now been an hour since you were supposed to be asleep and yet you got up from your bed going to Levis room trying to be quiet. He opened the door for you as you quietly said a short password you planned beforehand. You went into his room with a smile " hey Levi,are you ready to have the best night ever?" He nodded excited to have you to himself for once.

3:00AM

You two have been playing games for three hours now trying to be as quiet as possible, somehow no one has caught you yet. You have ate a bunch of branded Ruri-chan snacks and Ruri-chan themed sodas. (Ofc Levi bought a whole pack of both since the second they came out on Akuzon)

You were supposed to stay up till 4AM but you had a long day and you might pass out tired if you go on like this.

"So should we go another round of Mario Kart or do you want to continue our Stardew Valley farm?" Levi said looking at the screen, you didn't respond so he looked at you seeing your tired expression. Were you bored of him?Did he annoy you because he didn't let you win? Did you just dislike being with him and that's why you never done this before?

So many thoughts going thru his head except the fact that maybe you had a hard day.

"I'm actually a bit tired, is it okay if we go to bed? It is pretty late already" You said rubbing your eyes. "Oh um yeah sure, let me turn this off and throw away the garbage and I will go to bed too" Levi said standing up slowly sad that your leaving.

He was done cleaning up but you have yet to go back to your room. "Levi,you have any spare blankets? I thought I could sleep on the been bag" You didn't want to leave? Did you feel bad for him? Why would you want to sleep over if he bothered you? "Oh yeah I do" He said handing you a light purple blanket with ":3" faces on it. "Cute blanket and thanks" you said getting comfy on the been bag,sure it wasent better then a bed but not worse then the floor.

"Good night Levi" "Good night"

5:20AM

You woke up to a loud sound. Levi woke up jumping to sit up in his bed knocking over a water bottle by his side.( idk don't ask) "Levi, are you okay?" Your sweet voice said to him concerned. Such a sweet voice. "Y-yeah I just um had a nightmare" he said whispering the last word. "I'm sorry I woke you up, and knocked over the bottle I didn't mean to."

He didn't turn to look at you, your eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly as you noticed him shaking a bit. Standing up from your been bag you walked over to him "Levi, please tell me about the nightmare, your obviously not okay, your shaking so much" He turned to look at you this time, making eye contact for a second. He wasn't answering you so you jumped into the tub, trying your best not to sit on him. ( you sat so you could face him)

"Levi" you said softly grabbing both of his hands into your own "Please talk to me about it, I won't laugh at you I promise, I don't want to see you like this"

He looked down the whole time, finally speaking. "I..I um, had a nightmare" You moved your thumbs over his hands as a sign to let him continue,trying to make him more comfortable. "Y-you were… In it" Your eyes grew a bit wider. "Me? Did I do something?"

Levi stopped talking for a second remembering the nightmare. "You were telling me how… I'm gross. And weird. How I'm a waist of a demon and-"

Hearing enough coming from purple haired demon you grabbed his face with your hand making him look at you. "Levi that's enough" you said looking at him for a second longer until you pulled him in for a hug.

It took him a few seconds till he lightly hugged back. "I don't think those things about you Levi, I never did. I find you interesting and I love how you're passionate about the things you love.Because of you i get to talk to someone about my favorite Anime and Games. Because of you I don't feel weird being myself. Your beautiful and such a sweetheart to me I can't bring myself to be mad at you. I love spending time with you. I wish we could have stayed up more but I had a hard day so I was tired. I'm sorry." 'You had a hard day…I suppose that explains your tiredness as well… ' "Just know I don't think your weird or gross, never did, never will, okay?" You said finally pulling away from hug.

You saw a single tear drip from his eye. He was so glad you didn't hate him.So so so glad.

"Thank you.. I don't deserve you Y/N" "Yes you do" you wiped away his tear with your finger A small laugh leaving his lips. You kissed his hand.

"Do you feel better now?You stopped shaking" He looked at your eyes, ones he loved so much.

"Yeah I'm feeling better,a lot better"

You pulled away from him sitting back. "Do you want to sleep together?"

"H-HUH?"

"I Mean to sleep in the same bed together! We can cuddle"

"Oh yeah, sure I guess, but the tub is to small for us both to sleep in"

Sure the tub was small But you had a perfectly good bed in your room.

"We can go to my room, the bed should be big enough, plus we will cuddle so we will take up even less space" you said excited already getting out of the tub pulling Levi with you.

He looked at you with eyes full of love.

"Sure,let's go to your room"

BONUS:

You woke up to Mammon screaming at Levi cuz when he came to your room so early in the morning wanting to get your attention first he was greeted with you and Levi with your arms around one another.

Not the best way to wake up. Levi was soon up chasing Mammon for ruining a nice moment.

[archivalofsins]

There's a lot of things I want to talk about and do now that my energy is back up. Though for the most part I have to get some life stuff in order. So, today I'm starting out on that. Personally I'd like it if the Milgram fandom at least on here could do some fun stuff over the intermission.

Some cool ideas,

Making a bunch of fanart of Es sleeping and dreaming about being on vacation over the intermission as everything is just going wrong behind them. Little guard on break signs.

Fanfics about Es going on break after trial. Little on break short fics. Kind of reminiscent of the Clock Over Orquesta collaboration. Fics about what the prisoners due over the intermission maybe them receiving the things they ordered over the trial. Just little slice of life stuff like that.

Of course, there's the anniversary and other holiday specific fan events that go on here. It just be nice to relax after trial two ends. Like a vacation.

Though before all of that there's some things that I'd like to note about the prison. Particualrly the song extraction.

Yuno notes that the interrogation room changes after the bell rings in her trial one voice drama. The prisoners seem to have adjusted to this fact over the course of the trials.

The room's...changing? With that the interrogation is over. From here, I'll be taking a peek at the mental images produced from your memories.

During Futa's voice drama before the bell rings we hear what is labeled as a mechanical sound. After which he goes-

What?! What's happening?! It's time, I guess. I'll be having a look...at what your justice is. So, this is what'll be extracting songs is it? Hmph. Do what you want!

The same mechanical noise noted in Haruka's first voice drama. The mechanical noise comes before the bell ringing in Shidou's voice drama too.

It's time, huh. So, this is what will be extracting songs, huh. It sure is intriguing. I wonder what mine will be like.

Given that Mu states the same thing as Yuno that the walls start shifting in her voice drama chances are Haruka, Yuno, Futa, and Mu were all not warned this was going to happen before they went in.

Ah! What is this? The walls are moving! What's happening? Times already up? We didn't get to talk much, but... I guess that's okayy. I'll be taking a peek at the inside of your heart now.

Unlike Shidou who seems to have been told beforehand this was going to happen. More than likely by Futa. This is played off as Shidou just being more composed than the others. Hwowever, as we come to see from Kazui's voice drama when he attempts to test out the barrier it's more than likely Futa just told the others what happened within his interrogation.

Simalarly to how Haruka spoke to Yuno after his interrogation. Where he states he felt a hit when the machine started.

20/06/16 Yuno: Hey, Haruka-kun, how was it? The guard put it like “your mental images are gonna be extracted!!” but what was it actually like? Haruka: U-uh…… I’m sorry. I don’t, really remember…… I spoke with the guard, and then a bell rang…… a-and I felt my shoulder get hit…… and then…… N-next thing I realised, time had passed, and it was over…… Yuno: Hmm~ You sure there wasn’t something fun that happened? You were smiling really widely when you came back, weren’t you? ……I’m looking forward to my turn~ Haruka: Ehh……!? ……ah, n-no, I…… n-nothing happened…… hehe.

Mahir's response while different from the others still registers that something strange is happening but she blames it on herself for getting overexcited.

W-what is this? Is it because my love exploded? No, it's the end of the interrogation. For goodness sake... As always, things never go as planned, do they? With you prisoners, I mean. Uh...Um... This is what'll be extracting songs, right? But, I'm not that good at singing, though. You won't necessarily be the one singing. Your mental landscape will present itself in the form of songs and videos- that's all.

This is something Genderqueer-mahiru brought up as tying Milgram and Caligula Effect together. So, it's important to highlight that Es in canon blatantly states that something which occurs within the Caligula Effect universe is also occuring within Milgram. Let's continue/circle back to Kazui.

Kazui's first voice drama displays to us that the prisoners are actually sharing information amongst eachother. At least Futa is explaining Shidou and Mahiru's responses and immediate guess that this was the thing that extracted songs.

He does this from the very beginning by testing out the barrier.

Now then... I wonder how this will turn out. Sorry for the wait prisoner no.07, Kazui. ...Hm? Excuse me. W-what?! Sorry, just let this idot restrain you for a second. E-eh...! Kh...! You...! That's rude! Eagh...! Now, now... I won't hurt you, so don't be afraid... -Huh...? Ghaah! Nn... What's this...? I've suddenly lost my strength...?

When Kazui is just restraining Es he's behavior is allowed. However, after he states he has no intention to hurt Es suddenly his behavior is prohibited. Showcasing how much of a liar Kazui is right off that bat. Because he said that knowing full and well he absolutely did have the intention to hurt Es the only thing which is prohibited. Something he goes into after.

Hmm~ Hey! Are you listening to me, Kazui?! If someone tries to hit you their fist will suddenly stop... From Futa's accounts I had the mental image of an invisible wall. So, I was wondering about what would happen if I tried to restrain you. ... But the moment I tried it, I lost my strength. I wonder why? It was almost like I, myself, became oppossed to attacking you. Hmph, I don't know all the details either. I just know that a prisoner can't attack the guard. I see... Hehaha. But knowing that it's not like a magic barrier reassures me, as an old man. So there is a way to realistically explain it, at least... It might be something similar to hypnosis.

Then when the machine starts this is Kazui's response-

What's this? It's time to end the interrogation. It's a pity- we were just starting to get serious. Haa... What a relief. I've had enough of this.

Pretedning to be surprised but happy all the same for it to be over. I say pretending because we know from Amane's reaction that mostly everyone was told how these interrogations go.

Oh, my. Is it already over? It was a fun time. While we had some minor disagreements you listened to what I had to say. I am very happy about that. ...

Mikoto is an interesting case because he does not respond to the bell since at the time it rings he's apparently not conscious of the situation. It's like this seemingly both trials. I'm not gonna play these games with this man anymore. It's oddly conveninent that he doesn't have a reaction to the room changing both times. Even though he would know exactly how the room fucking looked before and would be waking up to a completely changed environment. Despite that he's rather calm. Even though this was something jarring for other prisoenrs to see happen in real time.

He's jsut here like yeah this might as well fucking happen I guess. He just wakes up in a changed room and just rolls with it. Both times apparently.

Since Kotoko has seen this happen several times already she's rather relaxed about it. The one shocked this time is actually Es.

...! It's time... Oh, well. Then we can leave things as is. All I've wanted to say has already been said anyway.

Again this is interesting because of how greatly it aligns with the Caligula Effect games. As well as telling fans that the song extraction machine is just not within the prison while the guard is asleep and the trials aren't going on. It's more than likley just summoned into the room when needed.

Meaning the prisoners can celebrate the trials being over by going at least we don't have to hear that creepy bell anymore. I'm also surprised none of the prisoners have like seen Jackalope cooking? Or there's not many fanworks about that. Like they all go to the kitchen as well.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA

so me (enby 18) and my mother (f60) were going to an event at my college. over the years, it's felt as such my mother has had to get herself involved in my life in school. sometimes it's been good with bullying situations, but not so good when she was calling the counselor about how i didn't make the top ten at my school and how it was deliberate on their parts (tldr bunch of bad blood with school - corrupt fucks in southern us). so with me starting college, i was finally hoping that i could get some independence on my own, even if i'm not living on campus for money reasons (broke pls i want scholarships so bad). like maybe i could do things without her involvement, maybe i could use my pronouns and name (not violently transphobic but does not approve and does not know of, only friends online that she also doesn't know about and few irl), maybe i don't have to restrain from acting as myself.

except she is still getting involved, she's called the dining people about my meal plans and even called one of my professors to ask about what kind of laptop i would need if i got a new one, note i have one but it's a few years old.

with this event (god i went off topic but yall need some context on this and i don't feel like i'm giving NEARLY enough) we said that mom could go in and check in and she could go hang out somewhere else. that she doesnt have to stay. i thought that was the plan.

then we go in there and she's not. and i'm a bit embarrased since i'm one of the few people with their parent there so i'm standing away from her while trying to figure out how to tell her i don't want her in here (due to the whole repression thing, just immediate discomfort and pressure with her here)

then after a few minutes i talk to her and try to do it softly with that she doesnt have to stay but she got it that i was telling her to leave. then she left, discomfort away but guilt set in. spent the rest of the hour and half i spent there trying not to feel guilty and not feel worried when i come back.

THEN i come back and she's not upset but you know the vibes are fucking off. and i'm trying to get her to just be upset with me and tell me how she's feeling by asking her, but she is just not.

then later i finally manage to get her to open up and she says how i put her in a bad situation there and made both of us look bad (okay that i admit). said i didn't talk to her about this beforehand (which i'm pretty sure we did) and how i left her with nothing to do while i was there (made me feel worse and guiltier than before). said she wasn't mad (even though she is clearly not acting like herself, wouldn't even face me when i came in to talk to her) but chalked it up to immaturity and not being good with socialness (neurodivergent + hermit)

i get how i could of handled the situation better, but AITA for wanting to have anything to myself? (sorry for the essay)

What are these acronyms?

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

Harvey Proposal Headcanons

Wow I'm still here. Huh. Think of this as like, me being dead, but not dead. As in I haven't touched this blog in months, and it's started to decompose but then some necromancer came along and reanimated it. Idk. Anyways here are some headcanons to prove I'm still here.

^ Old author's note. This has been sitting in my drafts for too long and I need to get it out. Requests are still closed for now, but I'm trying to clean things up in here.

TW: food implied (restaurant)

Harvey was very nervous to propose. He had spent months planning it out. But no matter how well he prepared, it seemed there was nothing to calm his nerves.

He had decided to take you to a restaurant. It was your favourite place. You guys had been there a few times before, but not much recently as he didn't want to bore you of the place. He had put in a reservation for the best seat a few weeks beforehand. He had considered paying extra so there would be nobody near you two, but decided it would hopefully make you two more comfortable if he didn't do that. He also wanted to keep the surprise unknown until the moment came.

The majority of the evening was peaceful. Of course, this is Harvey's luck, so there were a few disputes from other tables, but you guys were just fine. The two of you talked about anything and everything together. Though, there were moments of awkward silence as Harvey debated if he should ask you yet.

Eventually, though, he decided to go for it. You two had just finished dinner, and were wrapping up to get ready for dessert. The waiter had walked over to the two of you, asking if you wanted to order anything else. Harvey politely shooed them away before looking to you.

"Y/N, I, um, I have something to ask you," he mumbled. You looked at him intrigued as he spoke. "We have been together for a while and I love it, I really do. You're my everything; my sun, my stars, my moon, and I was wondering if you would like to, um, be more official."

"Harvey, what are you saying?" you asked.

He gulped, "Y/N, would- would you marry me?"

You were... Shocked. I mean, you probably should have expected it with how nervous he was acting. And when you went to go to the bathroom you did see him fiddling nervously with something in his pocket. But it still managed to fly past you. How could this be?

The answer was obvious, though.

"Yes, Harvey, I would love to," you replied. Harvey let out a relieved sigh and leaned back in his chair, only to realise the gravity of the situation. Anxious, but excited, you two leaned in for a kiss.

The waiter walked back over, asking if you'd like to order dessert. The two of you said yes (resisting the urge to do a 'one of everything!'), and soon you were digging into your favourite treat foods without a care, looking up at each other ever so often and giggling.

-~-~-

Aboboubobobuip FINALLY. It's done! This has been causing me stress to say the least. It's not a request, but hopefully I'll get to those too. Thank you to everyone who stuck around (if anyone did)! As I said, requests are still closed, but I'm working on the ones already there!

[finallydelight]

Hi will you do a chapitre about how Jungkook asked Maya out and what they talked about before the morning of when namjoon and hoseok come to his apartment to take him to the studio

Thank u🙂

The Blind Date | Maya Chapter

author’s note: here it is, my darling ! I had fun writing this one, Maya has all the confidence I wish I had, so I enjoy writing her make everyone around her flustered 🫢 I hope you enjoy this chapitre ☺️ and let me know what you think of it, I would love to hear it ❣️

December, 2020

“I’m not doing that, Yugyeom.”

Out of all the ideas she had heard from Yugyeom throughout the years, this was the most ridiculous one so far.

The Got7 member sighed. ''It's just one blind date!'' He was adamant on getting her to agree to this blind date that he had set up for her.

''Did you think about the fact that I'm an idol and that I'll receive a massive amount of hate and death threats for even just being caught on a date?'' Her own members had been caught up in a dating scandal and although the response wasn't too bad, there were many other examples of idols who got literally vilified for simply being in a relationship.

''You dated Seungyoun-hyung and no one found out!'' Yugyeom pointed out, taking another swig from his beer. Maya rolled her eyes at him. ''Oh, yeah! That's just the perfect reason to go, cause that relationship worked out perfectly, didn't it?'' She told him, sarcastically.

The start of her previous relationship went exactly like this. A friend talking her into going on a blind date with someone and Jieun wasn't having it.

''I think you should give it a chance! It's a really nice guy and I think you'll get along great.'' The truth was that Yugyeom had seen how her breakup with Seungyoun had affected her and he thought it was finally the right time for her to start dating again.

Jieun contemplated. ''Tell me something about this guy.'' She asked him, it had been a while since she hung out with someone other than her members or close friends.

''Ji, I don't know if you have ever heard of a blind date, but that's not really how it works.'' His sarcastic comment earned him a slap on the arm. ''You're not expecting me to actually meet up with a total stranger?''

Yugyeom tilted his head. ''Uh, I am, that's the purpose of a blind date.'' He put an emphasis on the 'blind'.

''Oh, come on! If you tell me one thing, I'll actually consider going.'' He shook his head. ''I'll say one thing about him if you promise you'll go.'' Yugyeom raised his eyebrow, awaiting her answer.

Maybe the whole blind date idea wasn't such a bad idea. Yugyeom seemed very sure that this dude was good for her and as much as Yugyeom liked to annoy her, he would never do something if it wasn't in her good interest.

''Alright, I'll go.''

Yugyeom clapped his hands and a big smile appeared on his face. ''Ha! Yes! I'll text him right now!'' He pulled out his phone and typed away, letting this mystery man know that she had agreed to go.

''Oh, so one thing about him…'' Yugyeom thought about something, ''he's the same age as us.'' He figured he had to make this man as vague as possible, not wanting her to know beforehand.

Maya was not impressed. ''That's it? No, I want something useful.''

''That is useful, now you know it's not some old man that you're meeting.''

''You're sure he's not some serial killer, right?'' Maya still had her doubts as she and Yugyeom went up in the elevator, on their way to her blind date's apartment.

Yugyeom chuckled. ''I promise you, he's a good guy.''

''Does he know he's meeting me?'' The closer she got to this mystery man, the more curious she got about his identity. ''He does, he has uh, liked you for a long time.'' The grin on his face didn't escape her.

''Dude, it's not some creepy guy, right? I'm not planning on giving my autograph or anything.'' She truly hoped whoever this person is, doesn't end up being some obsessive fan who would try something she wasn't comfortable with.

Her worries only seemed to amuse her friend. ''Trust me, Ji,'' they arrived at the right floor and stepped out of the elevator, ''he's not gonna ask your autograph.''

They stopped in front of a door and Yugyeom turned to her. ''You ready?'' He asked her, unsubtly trying to hide his smirk.

''I guess.'' Jieun didn't sound too sure, but Yugyeom knocked on the door anyway, immediately walking away. ''Have fun, Ji!''

Before she could say anything back, the door in front of her opened. As soon as she locked eyes with the man in front of her, her mind tells her she should have known it would be him.

''Hi..'' Jeongguk seemed very nervous, his eyes not meeting hers. She smiled at him, finding it quite endearing. ''Hi, I'm Jieun.''

He opened the door a bit wider, inviting her in. ''I kno- uh, I mean- I'm.. I'm Jeongguk.'' He stumbled over his words introducing himself, even though he didn't need to.

''I know.'' She copied his answer, wanting to ease his nerves.

It seemed to work as he finally cracked a soft smile and the tension in his shoulders visibly left. ''You want some slippers or something for your feet?'' Jieun had taken off her heels and was left bare feet.

She looked down at them and gave him a sheepish smile. Jeongguk pulled out a pair of home slippers and put them down in front of her. ''They're my mom's, so they should fit.'' He told her.

''Thank you.'' Jieun took off her heels and put her feet into the slippers, fitting perfectly.

''Uh, thank you for coming, I, uh, really appreciate it.'' Jeongguk thanked her, avoiding eye-contact with her.

Jieun gave him a smile, brushing it off. ''Oh, you don't need to thank me. You should thank Yugyeom, he really talked you up.'' She chuckled, reminding herself she needed to send the guy some flowers later for setting her up on this date.

''What did he tell you?'' Jeongguk motioned for her to follow him through the hallway into his beautiful living room that had an overview of the city.

She answered him as she inspected his home. ''He told me you were the same age as us, you have liked me for a long time and that you definitely wouldn't ask for my autograph.''

At the mention of him having liked her for a long time, Jeongguk's cheeks and ears heated up. He desperately looked around, seemingly trying to find something to which he could change the subject to. ''Oh, well, that's- that's very nice of him.''

''Oh my- let me take your coat.'' It's like he had a list of things to do in his head and he had accidentally skipped that step. Jeongguk moved behind her while she unbuttoned the long coat, he removed it from her and it revealed her black silk dress that she was wearing.

''Wow…''

Jieun turned around upon his words. ''Pardon?''

His mouth fell open a little, having become speechless as he stared into her eyes for the first time that evening. ''You, uh, you look, uh,'' Jeongguk stuttered, ''you look really pretty.'' He managed to get the words out.

''Thank you,'' she glanced down at her dress, ''you don't look too bad yourself.'' Jieun looked him up and down, totally aware he could see her checking him out. Jeongguk was wearing a grey turtleneck that accentuated his broad shoulders and biceps, paired with a simple pair of black trousers.

The blush reappeared on his cheeks and he looked down at his own clothes, remembering Yugyeom begging him to wear something ''that doesn't look like he only wears oversized shit''.

''Uhm, please follow me to the dining room.'' Jieun couldn't help but chuckle as he completely ignored her compliment and moved to the next room.

Jieun was pleasantly stunned when being met by Jeongguk's dining room. He had lit the place up with candles and a fresh bouquet of flowers stood in the centre of the table. ''This is really nice, Jeongguk. Do you always have dinner like this?'' She remarked, making the man laugh and shake his head.

His hand moved to her lower back, guiding her to her seat. Jeongguk pulled out her chair and helped her sit down properly, after which he took the seat across from her. ''Would you like a glass of red wine?''

She nodded at his offer. ''Yes, please.'' At her words, he opened the wine bottle that he had placed on the table before her arrival and opened it, pouring some in her glass and afterwards in his glass.

Jieun raised her glass. ''Cheers.'' Jeongguk seemed surprised, but quickly picked up his glass and they clinked their glasses together. ''Yes, cheers.''

''So…''

''Yeah, so…''

''You've liked me for 5 years?''

Jeongguk choked on his wine as the question left her mouth, causing Jieun to chuckle at his reaction. ''Uhm, well,'' his nervous behaviour returned and he couldn't look her in the eye anymore, ''has it been 5 years already?''

''I must have made a very great first impression on you, I mean that's quite a long time.'' Jieun continued, liking how flustered she was making him.

The flustered man in question looked down at his feet, a shy smile gracing his face. ''I, uh, I guess you did.''

''Were you too scared to ask me out or something?'' She couldn't help but ask him the question, confused as to why it took them this long to go on a date.

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks and ears, her straightforwardness catching him off guard each time. ''Scared might not be the right word, but… you're just very- you know, uh, I guess I was just afraid you would reject me, maybe.'' He admitted, looking away from her again.

''Who says I would have rejected you?''

''Literally everyone I asked for advice told me you would reject me.'' He laughed, taking a sip from his wine. ''I wanted to ask you out last year when our promotions overlapped, but BamBam told me to not even try.'' He confessed, slowly glancing at her reaction.

''Well, most of the time he doesn't know what he's talking about. You're a charming guy.'' Jeongguk sat up straight hearing her words. ''So, if I had asked you out then, you wouldn't have declined to go on a date with me?''

''No, I wouldn't have said yes.'' She told him, shaking her head.

The man in front of her furrowed his eyebrows. ''But- but you just said-''

''I had a boyfriend back then, Jeongguk. I would have rejected anyone.'' Jieun confessed, stifling her laughter at his clueless expression.

He defeatedly put his arm down, accepting her words. ''I guess that's fair.'' Jeongguk interchanged from looking at the table to her. ''I didn't know you were dating someone at the time.''

''Yeah, that's kinda the point of a secret relationship.'' She laughed, playing with the rim of her glass.

''Were you two together for a long time?'' Jeongguk hesitantly asked, not knowing if he was overstepping any boundaries by asking about her past relationship.

Jieun sighed before answering. ''For about a year,'' she thought of something, ''you know, the way he and I met is actually quite similar to this.'' She gestured between her and Jeongguk with her finger.

''Yeah? How so?''

''It was also a blind date set up by a mutual friend, and it was also with a guy who apparently had liked me for a long time. Oh, and just like in this case, I didn't know who I was meeting but they did know they were meeting me.'' The similarities between her blind date with Seungyoun and Jeongguk were hard to ignore.

The only reason why she was so adamant on not going on the date was because of how things ended between her and her former boyfriend. She never doubted his love for her once, yet he still decided to break up with her. Yes, it was because of his mental health at the time, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

''Was it also Yugyeom who introduced you?'' Jeongguk asked, becoming quite curious.

Jieun shook her head. ''No, it was someone else, but Yugyeom is also friend with him, so I guess that counts as well.'' She chuckled.

''Are you hungry? I can get the food if you're ready.'' Jeongguk suggested, already getting out of his chair. ''Yes, that would be nice.''

He send her one bright smile before disappearing into his kitchen. Jieun grabbed her phone from her bag, deciding to send Yugyueom a quick text.

Kim JiJi: you're a genius, Kim Yugyeom

KYUM: you never say that about me

KYUM: you must be enjoying yourself then 😏

Kim JiJi: I am, actually

KYUM: good

KYUM: you should kiss him

KYUM: wait no

KYUM: don't kiss him

KYUM: i think he'll pass out if you do that

Kim JiJi: okay loser

A loud sound of glass breaking made Jieun flinch and she almost dropped her phone in the process. ''Everything okay?'' She yelled out to him, hoping he hadn't hurt himself. ''I'm okay, I just dropped a plate, don't worry!'' Jeongguk yelled back, assuring her that everything was fine. She chuckled to herself, and put her phone away.

''Apparently you really like samgyeopsal.'' Her date walked back in the dining room holding two trays with pork and several different side dishes. He put them down on the table and spread them out, so she could easily reach for all of them with her chopsticks. The grill had already been placed in-between them and Jeongguk turned it on, placing several pieces of the pork belly on it.

She was impressed as Jeongguk sat down again, flattered by the fact that he had most likely asked Yugyeom what she liked to eat. ''This looks great, thank you so much.'' Jieun picked up her chopsticks and put several side dishes on her plate.

''My pleasure.''

As they started eating, Jieun quickly realised Jeongguk and Jihyo had a similar reaction to good food, the angry look on his face after taking a bite from the grilled pork belly bringing her much joy. After many glasses of wine later and finishing their food, the pair had moved to the living room, where Jeongguk had put on a movie that was quickly discarded as their focus was on each other.

''No way! Boa trained you?'' Jeongguk exclaimed, looking at her wide-eyed.

Jieun shook her head. ''No, she didn't train me. Lee Sooman just got her to teach me a few classes and she gave me some feedback, that's all.'' She clarified for him.

''No wonder you're so good.'' The last few hours, Jieun had gotten to meet the real Jeongguk. He had dropped the nerves and actually started flirting back with her. It was probably because of all the wine they had, but still, it was nice.

''I just love performing, you know? Looking into a crowd, seeing people happy and jumping up and down… it's amazing.'' She told him, a smile creeping on her face while talking about her passion.

Jeongguk unconsciously mirrors her smile. ''I feel the same way. I don't care how sick I am or whatever it may be, standing on the stage is a feeling like nothing else.''

''I miss it so much… fucking covid.'' Jieun mumbled, picking up her glass of wine. He chuckled, not used to hearing her curse. ''I know, this was supposed to be a good year.''

''So much has changed… and not just this year.'' Jeongguk said as he finished his wine and poured some more in his glass.

Jieun gave him a confused expression. ''What do you mean?''

''You know, you have all these new and younger groups now- and I just feel like everything has become so toxic and competitive. I know it has been like that for years now, but people can't look each other in the eye now or people make it a problem, making up rumours and all.''

She could tell by the way he was speaking that it had been bothering him for a while and she agreed with him. The amount of rumours that were created, because of meaningless interactions are ridiculous.

''I agree, like me and Baekhyun- you know Baekhyun?'' She quickly asked him and proceeded when he nodded, ''We accidentally touched hands at a music show and SM actually had to make a statement because of all the articles claiming we were dating.''

Jeongguk sighed. ''That's what I mean, it's becoming unbearable. You can't even say something to your friends anymore.'' He was sick of the toxicity of the industry that was created by fans who liked to make up stuff to fit their agenda of hate.

''Exactly!'' Jieun exclaimed, ''I think 2 years ago, Jennie-unnie won on a music show and our promotions overlapped so we were on the stage as well, and I went up to her and gave her a hug, and somehow people were critical of that? No matter what you do, people will make it a problem.'' She rolled her eyes, thinking back about all the times her and Jennie received hate as a result of their friendship.

''It's crazy, isn't it? It's the same for me and my friends, like Yugyeom and Mingyu.'' Jeongguk could relate to her about the distaste that critics expressed over their friendships.

A silence fell upon them, the both of them taking a few seconds to calm themselves down after talking about all that.

Jieun was the first one to start speaking again. ''I'm happy I get to talk to you about this.'' She spoke with such genuineness that had him almost speechless.

Jeongguk moved himself closer to her, to the point where there was no more space left between them. ''Me too, I'm happy I just get to talk to you.''

''What a charmer you.'' She laughed, putting her hand on his thigh. Her move must have sobered him up straight away as he made a weird sound.

Jeongguk scratched his voice before talking. ''Hey, I have a question.''

''Shoot''

''Before Yugyeom ratted me out, did you know that I've had a crush on you?''

Jieun lets the question sink in, her mind going back in the past. She thought about all the times the guy unsubtly stared at her from across the room or how he would look at the ground when greeting her and her members.

She patted his thigh a few times. ''You know, honey, you've never been a very subtle man,'' she started off, seeing him get shy again when the term of endearment left her lips, ''I wouldn't say that I knew you had a crush on me, I just thought you got easily flustered around women and that you just didn't really knew how to talk to us.''

''But I should've known when Jin kept talking about how talented and great you were, when he and I hosted that year-end show together.'' Jieun finished off, suddenly remembering how the oldest BTS member would butter the youngest one up to her.

Jeongguk covered his face with both of his hands, completely embarrassed. ''Oh, no.'' He dramatically exclaimed, making Jieun burst out laughing in return.

''I swear I didn't ask him to do that!'' He defended himself, putting his hands up.

''Yeah, sure, I believe you.'' Jieun did not believe him.

A comfortable silence fell upon them. Jeongguk stared at Jieun's hand that rested on his thigh, while her eyes were focused on him.

''Do you remember the first time we met?'' She hadn't fully heard the question, Jeongguk's face being quite the distraction.

Jieun snapped out of her trance. ''Sorry, what did you say?''

He smiled at her daydreaming. ''The first time we met- do you remember it?''

''I do remember it,'' she nodded, ''how can I forget the blushing guy who could barely get a word out?'' Jieun replied, an amused grin making its way on her face.

He pushed his shoulder against hers, hoping that distracted her from his red face. ''Come on, now.''

''I was- I was just very struck by you, and I didn't want to embarrass myself, but I guess I did that anyway,'' Jeongguk chuckled, ''and you were very sweet to us, and treated us with respect which not a lot of people did at the time, and I just wanted to thank you.''

Jieun was speechless by his words, not expecting him to say something like that. ''I mean, it's the bare minimum really, treating people with respect.''

''Yet, I haven't forgotten it after 5 years.''

She must have been staring at him for not even 10 seconds, but it felt like an eternity had passed before Jieun broke the silence.

''Can I kiss you?''

It was Jeongguk's turn to be speechless, his mouth slightly agape. ''You, uh, what? What?'' He blurted out, not believing his ears.

Her hand that was laid on his thigh moved to his chin, bringing his face closer to hers while she moved forward. ''I asked if I could kiss you.'' Jieun repeated herself, taking notice of him shivering as her breath fanned his face.

Jeongguk timidly nodded his head, not trusting his mouth to convey the right words. With his consent, she closed the distance between them and softly pressed her lips against his.

As he slowly started kissing her back, something clicked inside of him. It was as if he was an unfinished puzzle and she was the last piece that he had been looking for all this time. Kissing her felt like something that he was meant to be doing, it felt self-evident and he didn't want it to stop.

Meanwhile, Jieun wanted to hit herself in the head for not noticing his crush on her way sooner. She could have been enjoying this for years, but no she just thought that he reacted to everyone like that.

Jeongguk didn't know where it came from, but a sudden wave of confidence flew over him. He took a grip of her waist and sat her down on his thighs, so she was straddling him. Despite the desperation he put into the kiss, his hold on her waist was caring and tender.

They both pulled away, coming up for air. Jieun opened her eyes and was met with Jeongguk's eyes that were filled with adoration, she could almost feel it.

''Jieun…'' He choked out, completely out of breath. ''Do you, uh, do you want to stay over? It's quite late and it can be dangerous, you know.''

She cupped his cheeks with both her hands, a soft smile gracing her face. ''Well, if it's too dangerous outside, I'll better stay here then.''

Taglist: @stopeatread @sakuurra @seongwhaffels @cosmicwintr @smh-anon @cixrosie @allthings-fandoms

[renaiswriting]

Shadows of Desire (part 4)

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan/Reader

Summary:

You always thought the only romance you would experiment with in your life was the one between pages under the flames at midnight. That was until you found him, because the feel of his fangs digging into your neck was more than addictive.

Warnings: None.

Word count: 1.6k

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

Author's note: This one was getting way too long, so I decided to upload the next in Part 5.

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"So what's on the menu for today?" Your brother asked, cleaning the sweat off his forehead with his arm. He had been preparing extra wood for the night as it was suspected that it would snow that week, and neither of you wanted to get sick.

 

"We have some onion leftovers from yesterday, and I think we have some tomatoes; maybe I can make a soup with it? Oh, we're running out of bread; I'll have to bake some more for the soup."

 

"We don't have more jam; I had the last bit this morning." He informed you, his face disappearing from the window, going back to his task.

 

You clicked your tongue; it lasted less than a week, and the amount you had made was usually enough for a month.

 

"Oh shit!" Your brother cried, storming into the bathroom holding his hand.

"what happen?!" You ran after him, worried.

 

Your brother didn't bother to answer; instead, he splashed his whole arm into the water, which quickly turned red.

 

"Oh my god! Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah, fuck it hurts!"

"You're going to get it infected!" You yelled at him when you saw your brother touching the wound with his dirty hands.

 

"It's going to burn a little bit." You told him beforehand, showing him the alcohol you had in your hands. Thankfully, it helped stop the blood, and soon your brother was covering it to avoid any sort of dust or anything like that infecting it.

 

"I should go and get more wood," he said, not even two minutes after the wound stopped bleeding.

 

"Are you out of your mind? You should rest it; it can start bleeding if you do something like that now!"

 

"(Y/n) I'm fine, it was just a scratch; we're going to freeze to death if we don't have more wood tonight. I'll rest later when I sleep."

 

"Bullshit." You mumbled, not wanting to get a scolding from your brother because of your words.

 

"If you want to help me, you can bring the wood that is already done inside, so I can finish faster."

 

You ran outside because you wanted to get over it as soon as possible because it was already freezing and the sky was white, almost a light gray, since another storm was hinting to hit anytime soon. It was so early, yet it seemed like it was already so late.

 

"You should put on a jacket; you're going to get so sick if you're planning on getting us more wood, especially if you're sweating like that." You nagged at your brother; Luke rolled his eyes but still went inside to put on his biggest jacket.

 There were so many wood pieces on the ground; your brother had clearly worked hard to make sure you were warm that night, and you surely had to cook him something warm for dinner as a thank you.

To entertain yourself while doing the task your brother gave you, you started singing a lullaby your dad used to sing to you when you were younger. It was so sweet, yet so sad. You felt a wave of nostalgia hit you when you finished the second verse.

You heard two soft knocks on the window near you, and you looked up, confused. Your eyes connected to those of another two that were looking straight into yours, and a small smile decorated the face of the young man who had his back relaxed against the wall.

The wood you had in your hands fell right to the ground.

"Hello," he said softly, his hand bringing his blonde hair back to its place as the wind had moved it to his eyes.

"Hi," you breathed. You felt your cheeks turning red as the man gave you his full attention. You felt small since you were still on the ground with the heavy wood in your hands. The man laughed, his eyes turning into two thin lines.

"Seems like you could use a hand there, my dear." His legs were long, and even when he was bending down and picking up the fallen wood to help you, he was still a bunch of inches taller than you. "I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"It's okay; I seem to have a talent for dropping things. Thank you for offering to help." You answered a beat or two late, and even though he apologized, he didn't seem sorry at all; if anything, he seemed pretty amused.

"My pleasure."

The man in front of you was thin, so seeing him lift all the heavy pieces of wood in one hand and offer the other one to you to help you stand up surprised you.

 

You cleaned your trousers of the dust and dirt from the ground before slipping your hand out of his hold. His hands were warm, even on such a cold day.

 

"You're freezing," he noted, clicking his tongue disapprovingly.

 

You extended your arms, trying to get him to take out all the pieces of wood in them, but instead he shook his head. "I'll take them; they are quite heavy, aren't they?"

 

"Take them?" You frowned. "But my brother worked a lot to get them."

 

The guy in front of you chuckled. "You misunderstood the meaning of my words; I'll take them for you, not away from you."

 

"Oh, I'm so sorry." You apologized quickly, the heat on your face growing in an embarrassingly short amount of time. "There's no need; seriously, I can take them myself; you've helped me enough."

 

"Well, lucky for you, I have a knack for playing the gallant hero." He smirked.

 

"Okay, thank you."

 

"Lead the way." He reminded you when you both stood there awkwardly without moving.

 

"Just over there, by the table. Thank you again." He walked behind you, carefully dropping the woods on the table so none of them dropped to the floor.

 

"Who's this?" Your brother asked, walking out of the bathroom with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders tensed.

 

"Jeonghan, nice to meet you." He introduced himself, walking towards Luke with a hand extended.

Luke accepted his hands, but his eyes were looking straight at you, accusing you.

 

"Jeonghan was nice enough to help me bring all this wood inside," you explained, hoping that was enough for him to avoid the nagging you would be receiving as soon as Jeonghan walked out of the house.

 

"Well, I was also the cause of you dropping them." Jeonghan smiled.

 

"Do you want something to drink? A tea, maybe?" You offered, already walking to the kitchen.

 

"Oh, please don't bother; I'm just fine." He rejected it, the smile never leaving his face. "I came here actually to give you something." He confessed, opening a bag he had on his shoulder.

 

"Give me something?" You asked, confused.

 

"It's not much, just a little thank-you present for the sugar you gave me the other night."

You felt yourself frown in confusion as your mind was quickly running to give you the memories from that encounter.

 

"Don't you remember?" He asked, chuckling. And just as he asked, the images came right to your mind.

 

Right, it was so late at night, and you were just about to go to sleep when someone knocked on the door, asking for some sugar.

 

"Of course I do! But there was no need for a gift; it was just sugar."

 

"None of that; I thought about bringing back sugar, but you mentioned that you were reading, so I thought a book would be more fitting. Sorry that it's not in a fancy presentation, but I ran out of time for that; hopefully you'll understand."

 

You felt your soul leaving your body as your heart beat faster in your chest. The book was one that you had been dreaming of getting your hands on for quite some time now, but it was not just rare but also extremely expensive.

 

"Oh my God." You managed to breathe as your hands touched every inch of the book. The pages were yellow, and the smell that came from every one of them made you feel drunk with happiness.

 

"I take it as you liked it." Jeonghan asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

"I do, but I can't accept it." You shook your head, forcing yourself to give it back to its owner.

 

"Why not? Do you already have it in your collection?" Jeonghan asked, confused. "The man that sold it to me told me it was a special book."

 

"It is," you confirmed the words that he had heard before, "but it's also extremely expensive for me to accept it; it was just sugar, and I can't." You shook your head, pushing the book towards his chest as the man refused to take it from your hands.

You could feel your brother's eyes coming right into your soul, telling you to not be stupid and take it since you both couldn't afford to buy expensive things.

 

But he only wanted you to accept it so you could sell it later, not for you to have it.

 

"I don't see the problem."

 

You buffed in disbelief, "You could probably leave just fine for a whole month selling this; I really can't accept it."

 

"Well, what about me giving it to you for a few weeks, then? I'll let you read it, and then you can give it back to me." He proposed, "What do you think about it?"

Your face gave away the answer. Jeonghan chuckled, moving the book back into your hands.

 

"Enjoy your reading, then." He smiled, closing the bag and walking to the door. "That was all. I guess I'll see you around next week."

 

Your brother nodded his head at Jeonghan, acknowledging the other man's goodbye. And as soon as he closed the door behind him, you heard your brother yelling at you for being so dumb.