#now i have to hear this every time i open the game. i regret nothing

[reddnaught]

yeah i'm planning on making a few layered weapons, what about it

[miniseokminnies]

you don’t own me —- c.sc

☆ pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader ☆ genre: club owner!seungcheol, established relationship ☆ wc: 1.2k ☆ warnings: 18+ MDNI, possessiveness, jealousy, dom!seungcheol, toxic relationship, spit kink, fingering, unprotected sex (that's a no no), multiple orgasms, creampie, name calling (slut), public sex, exhibitionism

Choi Seuncheol was not a possessive man, or so he says, however, the grip on your thigh told you otherwise.  The comments he made minutes ago dragged the silence on and you wished that he would drive faster.  If he needed space, by God you would make him regret it.

“Listen…” Seungcheol started when he was putting the car into park, unfortunately for him you were out of his grasp and out of the car as soon as it stopped moving.  He groaned and slumped in his seat. It was going to be one of those nights.  Plastering on your favorite smirk, you approached the door with your boyfriend trailing behind you.  

Your favorite bouncer smiled at you as you pushed past the entrance, you are always on the list so no need to check your ID.  He chuckled to himself as you sauntered in, knowing exactly what kind of night you were trying to have.  

“What did you do this time, boss?” he asked, trying not to laugh.

“Mingyu just do your job” Seungcheol muttered and the taller man held his hands up in surrender, still smiling.

Choi Seungcheol was not a jealous man, but he knew when something belonged to him. Watching you, his girl, from across the bar flirting with some stranger just because he made some off handed comment about needing space. His grip on his glass tightened, almost sending shards splintering across the freshly waxed bar top. 

You didn’t look at him as he approached, pretending to be interested in the one sided conversation this poor guy was trying to have with you. He was nothing to you besides a pawn in the little games Seungcheol and yourself like to play. 

Seungcheol pushed past the crowd and gripped on to your seat, spinning it towards him. His eyes were wild and you knew you had riled him up. He didn’t even give you a chance to smirk before taking hold of your chin, 

“Open up,” he commanded, not even looking at you. Confused, you did as you were told. Without breaking eye contact with the guy you were previously talking to, Seungcheol spit into your waiting mouth. “Swallow that for me,” he gives you two slightly stinging pats on your cheek. 

Choi Seungcheol knows when something belongs to him, and everyone else should too. 

With that Seungcheol turned and didn’t look back at you.  He knew he had you in his grasp now, he knows how to play your game and he beats you at it every time.  Wordlessly you rose from your chair and followed him into the hallway where the bathrooms were.  He turned to face you hearing your footsteps in the quieter secluded area.  

“You always ruin my fun” you blurted into his face, he cocked an eyebrow in response,

“Oh really?” he smirked, “I found it fun” he moved closer to you, putting one hand on the wall beside your head. 

“Well..” you avoided his piercing eyes, “I didn’t…” you knew the comment was in no way convincing. 

“Oh really?” he trailed his other hand across your soft skin, getting higher and higher.  You feel his calloused fingers drag up the length of your thigh and under your skirt. His fingers reach the apex of your thighs and you know you can’t lie anymore, “Doll, you’re so wet,” he shoves his hand on the wall into your hair and briefly massages our clit through your soaked panties.  You have to bite your lip to stop a moan from escaping your lips at the sensation.  

A whine of protest does tumble out of your mouth when Seungcheol removes the hand under your skirt.  He pulls you by your hair off the wall and positions you in front of him and pushes you into the men’s bathroom straight ahead.  Once the two of you were through the door you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.  The visual of yourself being utterly controlled by the man behind you filled your body with heat that rushed straight to your core.  

Seungcheol pushed you further into the bathroom before letting go of your hair and moving to check the stalls.  He all but punched each door open before returning to you. 

“Turn around,” you did as you were told once more and he wasted no time bending you over the sink in front of you, “Teasing me all night has consequences” he rasped, pulling your underwear aside.  He almost moaned aloud seeing your glistening cunt on display like this.  He easily slipped two fingers in, surprising you.  You whined at the feeling of being filled, wishing for more.  Seungcheol sets a swift pace, you know he is nervous for someone to interrupt even if he would never admit it.  “You like that?” he watches his fingers disappear and reappear.  

“Yes, oh my God” you mewl. 

“That’s right, you love my fingers,” he punctuates his sentence by adding a third finger, making you shiver with pleasure, “but you’re a slut for my cock, isn’t that right?” You nod in response, not quite able to form a response.  He pulls his fingers almost all the way out of you, “No you use your words with me” 

“Y-yes, I’m your slut” you choke out.  He shoves his fingers into the spot that drives you crazy, coaxing you to the edge.  

“That’s what i thought,” you were starting to become overcome with pleasure, “You can cum now, Doll” with his permission you let go, white spots overtaking your vision.  You cry out from the intensity of the orgasm.  

You feel Seungcheol pull his fingers out and you hear his belt hit the floor.  He pulls his pants down just enough.  You hear him spit into his hand and he grunts giving his cock a few pumps.  Lining himself up he uses the reminisce of your orgasm as lube.  Sliding in easily he gives you a few moments to adjust to the difference between his fingers and his thick cock.  

He begins thrusting into you, setting yet another bruising pace.  Despite the swiftness of his movements you could feel every inch of him each time he pulled out and slammed back into you, you couldn’t control the noises coming out of your mouth nor the squelching of your pussy each time.  

“Doll” he grips your hair in his hand and pulls you up slightly, “Look at you, getting fucked in the bathroom of my club,” he smiles wickedly between thrusts, “Look at yourself getting fucked, don’t forget who you belong to.” You look at your own fucked out face and the face behind you twisted with pleasure.  You feel a second orgasm creeping up on you.  Seungcheol is approaching the edge as well, judging by the fact that his hips are sputtering and he can barely manage to keep quiet anymore. “Gonna cum” he grunts. 

White hot spurts of him begin to paint your walls white as the coil in your stomach snaps.  You take all of it, like the good slut you are.  Seungcheol’s hips still, the two of you breathing heavily for a moment.  Slowly, he pulls out of you, staring at his seed spilling out of your perfect cunt.  He takes a moment to push it back in with his fingers as best he can before sliding your underwear back into place and putting his fingers in your mouth.  You clean them off greedily.  

“Hold on to that for me,” he pats your clothed cunt twice, “I will check when we get home later.”      

[daisymbin]

so? what's it gonna be, princess? - choi seungcheol

warnings: none!!

pairings: choi seungcheol x reader

genre: best friend to lovers (as always... zzzzz)

word count: 1.8k

requests open!

check out my masterlist!

‘’cheollie, i think i will be running a little late. it started pouring out of nowhere and i don't have my umbrella with me,’’ seungcheol could practically hear the pout coming from you through the phone, ‘’please help me tell the boys im sorry and that i'll be there as soon as i can.’’ today was yet another friday evening where the boys had planned a group dinner to catch up with everyone which happens once every 2 weeks. 

‘’you're pouting arent you?’’ your best friend teased you through the phone. ‘’no im not..’’ you lie, but unbeknownst to you, seungcheol is sitting in his car; parked just outside your company's lobby waiting for you. he smiles as he watches you furrow your eyebrows and look up at the sky; watching the pouring rain, and he sees your pout growing more evident. ‘’don't you regret turning me down this morning when i offered to drive you after work?’’ he chuckles to himself as he continues to tease you; he fumbles reaching for an umbrella in the backseat, ready to walk towards you. 

‘’maybe a little…but my office is in the complete opposite direction.. i didn’t want to trouble you.’’ you tried justifying. ‘’its been 13 years now that we've been friends, how many times do i have to tell you that you're never a bother or trouble to me? you know i love helping you out and doing things with you. even if its just driving with you by my side.’’ you felt your stomach do a little flip at your best friend's words and you try to shake the feeling away. seungcheol watches as you brace yourself, getting ready to run in the rain to cross the road, most likely to get to the bus stop. ‘’WAIT, STAY THERE!’’ he shouts through the phone and you all but halt your movements all together. ‘’huh? what do you mean?’’ you asked as confusion took over you. ‘’hello?’’ you prod again when he doesnt say anything back. ‘’cheol??’’ this time you remove your phone from your ear to look at the screen, had the call been disconnected?

‘’princess!’’ your head whipped around at the sound of that. you could recognise his voice anywhere and yet, you didnt exactly believe it. what is he doing here? why would he be here? you watch as seungcheol run out of his car holding an umbrella over his head, ‘’what are you doing here? i thought i told you not to come? i could have made it to dinner on my own..’’ you say as you started to feel bad. ‘’in this heavy rain? its gonna take you forever!’’ he chuckles lightly as he reaches his arm out to put over your shoulder, getting you under the umbrella with him. ‘’yeah but still.. its so inconvenient for you.’’ seungcheol watches as your pout slowly returns. all he can think about is how cute and pretty you look, and how soft your lips would feel against his. 

‘’nothing is ever inconvenient when it comes to you. did you forget why my nickname for you is princess in the first place? did you forget the promise i made you when we were kids? i said i'll always treat you like the princess you are, didnt i?’’ he asked as he tugged you closer to him and start walking back to his car. ‘’cheol, of course i remember, but no one ever really holds onto promises they made when they were kids. it was just all fun and games!’’ you laugh as you hit his chest lightly with your fist playfully. seungcheol catches your hand and held it in his for a second before letting go. ‘’i didn't think it was just for fun and games…i meant what i said back then & i still do.’’ his face turned serious before it was quickly replaced by his boyish shy smile that you love so much. he reached down to open the door to the passenger seat, ushering you to get in. 

you watch as he closed the door to the passenger seat and quickly ran over to the driver's seat. ‘’what was that about?’’ you asked as soon as seungcheol settled in this seat. it doesnt go unnoticed by you that half of his body is wet; drenched in rain, clearly from shielding you with the umbrella better and not himself. you heart aches at that a little. ‘’what was what?’’ he questioned back, looking at you with confusion swimming in his brown orbs. you took in a deep breath and let out an audible sigh, ‘’you mean what you said back then and you still do?’’ you laughed before continuing playfully, ‘’aww, does that mean that my cheolie is still in love with me after all these years?’’ you teased jokingly as you think back to when you were both 21, your best friend had drunkenly confessed to you in a game of truth or dare with chan, minghao, soonyoung and joshua that you were in fact his first love when you were both younger. what he failed to mention however is that he was still in love with you at that time. 

‘’cheol, im just joking. dont look at me like that.’’ you say as you shift your eyes towards the road; finding his burning gaze too hard to keep in contact with. ‘’don't look at you like what?’’ his voice came out a lot softer and huskier than he'd like. not that seungcheol was trying anything, but his throat suddenly felt so so dry. was he about to have this conversation with you? ‘’i don't know, you just look so serious. i was just kidding. come on, start the car, or we'll be late.’’ you unintentionally whined, hoping that he will let it go and drop the subject. but seungcheol caught on to your nervousness, he always does. you have your tells when you're nervous and seungcheol knows all of them like the back of his hand. he knows you oh so well. 

feeling a sudden surge of confidence from the fact that he made you nervous, inevitably, your best friend turned cocky. ‘’so what if i am?’’ he asked as he leaned his face against his fist that his biceps were resting on the steering wheel. ‘’what?’’ you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows at him. seungcheol could see the slight irritation dancing in your eyes. he knows you think he's fucking with you again like he always does, except what you didn't know was all his playful flirting? yeah he meant those. but you? you could play along with his playful flirting but joking about feelings and being in love? that crosses the line for you. not funny. at all. 

‘’i said, so what if i am? so what if i am still in love with you after all these years?’’ truthfully, seungcheol felt confident and cocky, but that was before he actually said those words out loud. now? his heart was thumping so hard he thought it might jump right out of his chest, but of course, he didnt show it, he tried his hardest not to at least; always keeping that small but nervous smile on his face. ‘’if this is another one of your stupid jokes, stop it. its not funny. you know i hate when people joke about feelings.’’ your irritation had grown tenfold by now. ‘’start the car cheol, we'll be late.’’ 

‘’but we're already late,’’ he says as he debates in his mind if he should hold your hand. ‘’and besides, don't you think i know you well enough by now to know what not to joke about?’’ he watches as your eyes soften and reaches for your hand. you look down at where you are both linked: your hands, and silence takes over you. ‘’so, should we walk into dinner holding hands and let the boys plan our wedding or are you going to reject me and let this car ride be the most awkward we've ever been around each other?’’ seungcheol all but nervously asks, jokingly of course.

‘’is this really how you ask someone out? that's so corny and cringey. no wonder you've been single all these years!” seungcheol lets out a breath of relief when he hears your sweet laugh and sees a smile finally break out on your face. ‘’is the reason i'm single all these years really because of how corny and cringey i am or is it because of how in love i am with you that i stayed by your side and took care of you the best i knew how to at whatever age it was, that i always looked out for you no matter where we were, be it at a party, in class, in school, at a dinner functions, anything. that i tried my best to never let you feel alone and to know that i always believe in you no matter what negative things that pretty little head of yours tells you when you go to bed at night? and look at you now? look how far you've come.’’

seungcheol held your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of your hand. you felt tears lightly prickle your eyes and you blinked them away, ‘’thank you, cheol..for always being there for me even when i didn’t know i needed you.’’ he now held your hand up to his cheek, still intertwining your fingers. ‘’like today?’’ he asked with a shy smile. ‘’like today..’’ you smiled back. ‘’so what's it gonna be princess? are we picking out a wedding destination or are we sitting in awkward silence?’’ he teased. ‘’why can't you be normal and just ask me to be your girlfriend like everybody else?’’ you ask as you tried tugging your hand away from him but he didn’t let up, it only made his grip on you tighter. ‘’where's the fun in that? and besides, you answering my question will tell me if i have a girlfriend or not.’’ seungcheol already knows your answer to his question, but he still had to ask, he just wanted to hear you say it so bad. 

‘’hmm..,’’ you looked away from him and pretended to think for a second, ‘’you know The Maldives has always been my dream destination for travelling…a wedding there would be pretty don't you think?’’ you turn back to look at your boyfriend with a faux face of being in thought. seungcheol didnt know he could smile so big but in that moment he did, ‘’i think anywhere in the world would make for a pretty wedding destination as long as you're the bride, princess.’’ seungcheol finally lets go of your hand, but only to now cup your face in between his 2 hands.  he kissed you once on your forehead, ‘’you know i love you right?’’ he asked as he looked into your eyes, his usual playful and mischievous brown orbs are now replaced with love, adoration and sincerity. you smile as you answer, ‘’you know i love you too, right?’’ and that was all it took for seungcheol to finally kiss you on the lips. ‘’i think i love you more.’’ he just always has to win, doesn't he?

[emmylksblog]

SOOTHING EMBRACE // H.FORT

request: can u write hector comforting sick reader?? (if u want)

genre: comfort, fluff

warnings: none

words: 1456

a/n: i hope having your period counts as sick because it does to me, cramps hurt like a bitch 👹

Hector stepped into the house, his heart beating from the excitement of the game. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were sparkling with adrenaline.

He had scored the winning goal, and that alone made his day. But his thoughts quickly turned to you. He couldn't wait to see your reaction to the news, to hear your words of excitement, and see your face light up.

"I'm home baby!" He called out, dropping his duffle bag on the floor and looking around for you. He could practically hear your response in his head already - the way you'd jump up from the couch, rush over to him with a huge smile on your face. He couldn't help but smile himself at the thought.

He frowned at the lack of response, noticing the silent atmosphere of the house. Hector's excitement started to dim slightly, replaced by worry. He called out your name, walking into the living room, his footsteps soft against the hardwood floor.

When he saw you curled up on the couch, he immediately knew something was wrong.

He knelt beside the couch, his hand gently touching your shoulder, "Hey cariño, what's going on? Are you okay?" He asked, his voice filled with concern. Hector's eyes scanned your face, taking in every tiny detail. He could tell that you were in pain, and he wanted nothing more than to soothe it away.

Your expression contorted into a grimace, and you let out a soft whimper. Hector felt a pang in his chest at the sound. He knew exactly what was going on. He had seen you like this before, and it broke his heart every time. He reached out to brush a strand of hair away from your forehead.

Hector couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. He had checked the app on his phone earlier that day, knowing that your period was due soon. He had been planning to go out and buy some of your favourite snacks and maybe some painkillers to help ease your discomfort.

But it seemed like he had underestimated the power of your monthly cycle. He let out a small sigh, silently cursing himself for not being more prepared.

You could sense the change in his mood. You knew that Hector must have felt so excited after the game, but your current condition prevented you from matching his enthusiasm. However, even in your state, you still wanted to show him some support.

You mustered the strength to sit up a little and open your arms towards Hector, a faint smile on your lips. "Did you really think I'd miss your match? I watched you play, and I couldn't be prouder of you," you said, your voice laced with a mixture of affection and regret. "I'm sorry I can't celebrate with you right now."

You pulled him closer and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips, the pain momentarily forgotten. "But if you're free tomorrow, maybe we can do something special to make up for it."

Hector's face softened as he listened to your words, his heart warming at your support and understanding. Even in your current condition, you still thought of him and wanted to celebrate his victory. Hector couldn't help but smile, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him.

He leaned into your touch, his hands finding your waist as he rested his forehead against yours. "Of course I'm free tomorrow," he said, his voice low and warm. "We'll do something special, I promise. You just focus on resting now."

He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss against your forehead, his fingers lightly tracing your hip in a soothing gesture. "You don't need to worry about anything, cariño. Just let me take care of you."

He pulled back slightly, a thought suddenly crossing his mind. "Wait here," he said, his eyes flickering with determination.

Hector then got up from the couch and moved towards the kitchen, leaving you sitting there feeling slightly confused and curious. You could hear him rummaging through the cabinets, the sound of bowls and spoons clinking together. After a few moments, he returned with a steaming mug in his hand and a small plate filled with chocolate chip cookies.

"I know these are your favourite," he said, his voice soft as he placed the items down on the coffee table in front of you. He then went back to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. "And these will help with the pain," he added, holding them out for you to take.

You couldn't help but feel a warm glow in your chest at his thoughtfulness. Even though his excitement about the game had been dampened by your pain, he was still looking out for you and taking care of you. You took the water and the painkillers with a grateful smile, feeling the love and care that Hector was showing you.

Your eyes began to well up with tears, a mix of emotions swelling within you. Part of you wanted to blame it on the usual mood swings that came with your period, but a bigger part of you knew that it was because of him. Hector was so sweet and thoughtful, always taking care of you, even in your most vulnerable moments.

You fought back the tears, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for him. "You're so good to me," you choked out, your voice cracking slightly.

Hector chuckled at your state, his eyes dancing with mischief. He was about to open his mouth to tease you, but before he could say anything, you swatted him lightly in the chest.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, a hint of amusement still in his voice. "You're just so adorable, baby."

You hid your face in his chest, feeling embarrassed by your current state. "It's embarrassing enough as it is, don't make it worse," you mumbled, your voice muffled against his shirt.

Hector chuckled again, unable to resist leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this. Our secret," he whispered, his breath warm against your ear.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer into him. "You know I love you, right?"

You felt his hands gently rubbing your back, offering you comfort and reassurance.

You looked up from your hiding place in his chest, your eyes meeting his. "I know," you mumbled, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I love you too, Hector."

You buried your face in his chest once again, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. His presence alone was enough to soothe your pain and make you feel loved and cared for.

The dull ache in your abdomen seemed to intensify suddenly, causing you to grimace and let out a low grunt of pain. Hector, being as attentive as ever, immediately noticed your discomfort.

"Does it hurt more baby?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

Hector quickly devised a solution. He shifted you so that you were sitting between his legs, your back against his chest. He then placed his hands on your abdomen, applying gentle but firm pressure.

You could feel his fingers working their magic, massaging your stomach in small, circular motions. The pressure was just the right amount, enough to ease the pain and give you some relief.

As he continued to massage you, you leaned back against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

You placed your own hands on top of his. You intertwine your fingers together, lightly caressing his knuckles as a sign of thanks.

You then turn your head, facing him to the side, and gently press a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. "You always know how to make it better."

Hector smiles at your gesture of gratitude, his heart swelling with affection.

"Anything for you, baby," he replies, his voice low and gentle.

He tightens his arms around you, pulling you into a comfortable embrace. He plants a few light kisses on your neck, his lips moving against your skin in a soothing manner.

As he massages you, he can’t help but nuzzle his face into your hair, inhaling your scent and relishing the closeness.

Your free hand reaches out, gently touching his face. You run your fingertips over his features, tracing the lines of his cheekbones and the curve of his jaw.

He leans into your touch, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips. He turns his head slightly, pressing his lips to the palm of your hand in a soft kiss.

"Estoy aquí, para ti." (i'm here for you)

[spngi]

My tears ricochet | mafia!carlos sainz jr x reader

Prologue | part 1 | part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 |part 5| part 6

Part 7

summary: Mr. and Mrs. Sainz lived in a dream for many years, now everything is falling apart and they need to deal with their feelings

warnings:Grammar mistakes, mentions of violence, Carlos is an idiot, mentions of cheating, sexual content, angst.

I watch the man lying on my bed, Carlos is in the same position as the night before, breathing high and I can smell the alcohol of perspiration infesting the room. I open the curtains and windows and let the sun enter along with the breeze to clean the smell of the room.

The man doesn’t move, still too drunk to wake up and I know that an infernal hangover awaits him.

“Wake up” I pinch the skin of his shoulder and he just murmurs leaving me with no patience. “The phone doesn’t stop ringing and if I have to solve any other problem with ports and tax I’ll throw the phone at you, carlos”

He just grunts, opens his eyes slowly and regrets it immediately.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, hoarse voice.

“Good morning” I approach him and extend the cup of coffee with the medicines for him.

“What’s going on?” I watch him scratch his eyes and face me, his eyes stopping when he sees the green nightgown I’m wearing.

It was good to provoke Carlos, even more after everything he told me yesterday, it was good to leave him desperate the same way he left me. The green piece was just a good detail to add to Carlos’ punishment.

“That idiot from the Port of Brussels does not stop calling, I have already solved the situation but it seems that he is too incompetent or just can’t stand to receive orders from a woman” I murmur to Carlos “me and Charles are solving this, but your accountant is also calling to talk about taxes, and we have to leave in a few hours for your cousin’s wedding preparations.”

“I can just...” he breathes, closes his eyes. It’s a lot of information for his head exploding and I could even laugh if I was in the mood. “Lay down for a while? Lie down with me, let’s forget all these calls”

This time I can’t help laughing, Carlos’ words funny enough for my state of mind. As if nothing had happened, as if that was his way of fixing things.

“Get up, Carlos! We still have to pack our bags” I murmur to him, leaving towards the closet.

“You look beautiful in green” his voice resonates groggy around the room.

“I know”

...

It’s strange to share the joy of creating a bond from a new family when mine was falling around. Although I still didn’t know exactly what to do, and the presence of carlos behind me wherever I went like a shadow left me stunned, the word divorce kept returning to my mind.

Maybe it was time for me to give up after all.

The excitement of being with the sainz family, the effort I had in buying the best wedding gift that this couple could receive, the joy in the eyes of the bride for knowing that she would soon carry the surname sainz as well. None of this was able to cheer me up, and I felt like an intruder taking off the luck of the couple.

I had once read in a Lima Barreto book the following phrase “we did not understand each other, their joys were not mine, my pains were not even perceived” and I never felt so represented.

Carlos seems to want to surround me, fill me with his attention, with his affection but that only makes me more uncomfortable, because I know that morning he didn’t choose me when he received that phone call, didn’t even think of me twice or doubted that I had done that. I think I could only really get over it by hearing him apologize, real apologies as an adult man and not that drunk show he gave the other night.

The shared hotel room becomes small enough for me, suffocating with the presence of Carlos. And the game of teasing each other ends up becoming a fierce trap.

I regret having started this game the moment I realized that I couldn’t get away from Carlos here, miles away from our house sharing a normal size hotel room. So every time I showed up before getting dressed or just in a towel after the shower I needed to hear him begging so that he could have me or just touch me, and for most of the nights I need to sleep frustrated with all the words and promises that I don’t let Carlos fulfill.

It is on the night of the rehearsal dinner, the day before the morning of the wedding that I let myself be defeated, maybe if I just let things flow I would feel better, I would remember what it was like to have a happy marriage and Carlos has always provided infinite amounts of pleasure.

I wait for Carlos to get out of the shower, sitting on the end of the bed, watching the TV passing an old movie, waiting and hoping that Carlos will continue begging tonight and don’t leave me a desperate mess today.

When he finally appears in only sweatshirt pajama pants and watches me, sitting, wearing only the old Real Madrid t-shirt of Carlos that became my pajamas a long time ago.

“You’re beautiful, I don’t get tired of saying that” he speaks, hoarse voice and body leaning on the door stop. “Please, cariño! Please let me show you how much I appreciate you, that I love you”

His voice comes out desperate and when he calls me cariño I can’t avoid the chill crossing my body. He realizes and takes the opportunity to get closer to me.

“Please” he whispers, kneels in front of me, brown eyes never breaking the contact, his hand is content to hold my ankle and kiss the area there. “Let me just be with you again, prove you, please I’m begging”

“Why did you do this to us?” I ask him, the same foot he holds I use to move his body away from mine.

“Because I couldn’t see you grow up and be like me,” he admits, “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I know that words will never fix this but I want you to know that I will do everything for us”

I loosen the strength of my leg against him and let him get closer.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

“Don’t make me regret it” I murmur to him who doesn’t waste time, the big hands pull me by the waist and the mouth joins in mine. He is desperate and anxious after so much time away and provocation.

Carlos’ hands explore the sensitive skin under the t-shirt, the light touch of his fingers making me more anxious for him, pulling the black curls of his soft hair in the form of retribution. He takes the T-shirt off my body in a single movement when he separates the kiss, his hot mouth going down kisses around my neck, lap and letting himself play with my nipples, his teeth rubbing on the sensitive skin, he is still kneeling between my body, his hands holding my waist keeping me still with his grip, delivered to him.

“Carlos” I call his name, lust flowing from my voice.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take care of you” he murmurs, his mouth slipping through my body, one of his fingers caressing the already wet fabric of my panties and I hear him moan along with me when he realize that I’m already like this at his slightest touch.

I kiss him again, my hands firm on Carlos’ back probably leaving nail marks, he bites my lip and I moan, my panties going to the ground in a quick gesture coming from him, his right hand playing with the proximity of where I want him the most.

He separates the kiss, arrogant smile on his face before bending down to where I need him the most, leaving small kisses on the sensitive skin of my thigh and getting even closer, and when he arrives in my pussy I let myself lay my body on the bed, my breathing already heavy with the slightest touch. Carlos’ mouth explores my intimacy, my feet resting on his shoulders, one of his hands squeezing my chest while the other focused on provoking my entrance with his fingers, his tongue leaving me a mess crying out for him and after all this time I didn’t know if I was still prepared for all the pleasure that carlos could provide.

He devours me like a hungry man, making me squirm in the hotel bed, my hand trying to cover my mouth to stifle the unnecessary amount of moans coming out of it. Although Carlos had a provocative nature, today he had no patience for this, he wanted to catch up on lost time, leaving my high getting bigger and bigger, and the closer I get the more I move.

“I need you to stand still, mi reina” he murmurs, his head tilted up slightly, his mouth swollen, his thumb making slow and torturous circles on my clitoris. And all this vision makes me moan even more his name, he laughs and uses both hands to hold me against the bed, the strong squeeze in my ass. He continues his exploited, knowing that I wouldn’t last much longer that way, the way I pull more and more of his curls leaving him alert of how close I am.

He continues with slower movements even after realizing that I finally came, my head is in an eternal wheezing due to the pleasure I felt and when I open my eyes I slowly observe Carlos, now standing on the end of the bed watching the work he did, he licks his lip and then his fingers and only this action makes me squirm in bed.

“God how I missed you” he murmurs still standing.

“It was you who put yourself in this position” admirably I still have the strength to answer.

“I know, and I regret it every day” he puts one of his knees on the bed and leans over to my body, his hand caresses my disheveled hair “I will never be able to be grateful enough that you insisted on me”

I know that his words are true, I see in the back of his eyes the emotion this time, it is exciting at least to know that he is opening up to me again, to know that I can read his eyes as before and not the icy astonishment he stared at me in recent months. But, again, the memory of knowing that I didn’t put myself in this situation, that I wasn’t my husband’s first choice makes me nauseous. Then I pull him again for a kiss, more delicate this time, without all urgency and hurry, just showing each other’s devotion.

Not even after the four hallucinating orgasms and the most intense fuck I’ve ever had in one night, and after sleeping like a little angel, full of endorphins and in Carlos’ warm arms I wouldn’t be prepared for what would come next. Even after the morning sex, intimate and slow, full of caresses and whispers, declarations of love spread everywhere. I still wasn’t prepared for the weeding day.

I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for the wedding ceremony, I didn’t know I would feel terrible at every step.

When I joined the bride for the preparations, and I looked at her, wondering if maybe the future that awaited her would be like mine, I wonder if I forgot some tradition during the wedding for it to have lasted so little, Carlos had never seen the wedding dress I wore, I wore a veil, I had a wreath on my head, I had my new piece, an old one borrowed and I had the blue too, I did all the right things and I still envy the innocence of the future Mrs. Saiz in front of me.

I laugh when they comment on how lucky I am, and how the men of the sainz family have the motto of being gentlemen and romantic and I imagine that mine certainly came with a factory problem.

The worst part is the ceremony, and my tears that I can no longer hold mix with those of the other guests who cry with emotion. I watch Carlos on the other side of the altar, next to the other godparents of the wedding, he smiles at me. He doesn’t understand the real reason I’m crying, his eyes seem nostalgic and maybe he’s remembering the day we got married, how he cried when he saw me at the altar, how my dress made me absolutely angelic as he repeated so many times on that special day, how we couldn’t help but smile with the realization that we were finally married.

My heart breaks with every word prophesied by the priest, with every vow I hear the bride and groom speak, with every good memory I had and was destroyed.

“I carlos oñoro sainz, receive you, Maria, as my legitimate wife. I promise to be faithful, love you and respect you. In joy and sadness, in health and disease, in wealth and poverty, for all the days of our lives. So receives this alliance as a sign of my love and my fidelity” the groom recites the vows, the most sacred laws of a marriage and I can only think of how they were all broken.

In how there was no fidelity, support and unity, in how Carlos and I managed to ruin everything, to break something so sacred.

I feel suffocated in the pink dress that matches that of the other bridesmaids, I clean the controlled tears that run down my face before I become a mess.

And it didn’t matter the way Carlos held my hand during the reception, or how he danced romantic songs with me and made slow and passionate love to me at the end of the night, I was already decided when I left that church.

I just didn’t imagine that it would be at a wedding that I would decide to end mine.

We are coming to an end 😭

I don’t know you were waiting for this or what your bets for how things will end but let me know, I love receiving your opinions and I can’t post nos because it may contain spoiler lol 😂

Thank you all ❤️❤️❤️

[hikarimiyanaga]

Her biggest regret

Warnings : Cheating. Angst.

A one-shot I needed to get out of myself as I try to navigate my life-work-games balance. Lmao. Chapter 4 of the Queen's Bride should be released within the month.

You freeze as you see them kiss. The wind in your lungs taken away by the sight.

You knew it.

You knew from the way she looked at him. From the way she spoke of him. The way she touched his arm.

Because all the things she did to him were once yours.

She used to look at you like you make the sun go up.

She used to speak like you were the only thing that mattered besides her children.

She used to touch you every night and revere you.

You let out a strangled noise and they both look at you.

You step inside and get your bracelet. What once held her promise of forever. But now it just burned you. Burned your heart.

"I'm giving this back." You say as you take it off your wrist and you see pain cross her eyes. "My apologies on disturbing you, Your grace." You quickly slip away after that. You run and run as you get to your tent. So much so that you don't hear her call your name. You don't hear her reject Jon's touch as she watched you run. You don't hear her anguish scream as she held the bracelet that once promised what you wanted.

-

You spent your days training. This was your life. This should just be it. You shouldn't have fallen for her. For the queen that you served. But here you are anyways.

You pant as Grey Worm looks at something behind you with silent anger in his eyes. He's always been a big brother to you. Always there and always guiding. There was a reason you are the only woman in the unsullied. Too strong to become a slave so you became a soldier instead.

You don't dare look behind for you knew whom his silent anger is for. You can feel it though. Her burning stare. You cover his eyes.

"Stop looking at her like that. You won't be marching in front if everyone thinks you want to kill her." You whisper then drink water.

"But she-"

"No buts, Grey Worm. She's still our queen." You can see the defeat in his eyes. The gratitude winning over the want to protect you.

"Go run. So she can't see you. That is the one thing I will refuse her of." You chuckle at the vindication in his voice.

"Thank you." You say then you slip away from his presence.

-

You've been avoiding her.

Daenerys could tell. What once was your spot was always given to different people each day.

What once was your voice greeting her as she checked on her army was always replaced with Grey Worm's.

And she knew of it. But there was nothing she can do. She betrayed you. She didn't keep her promise.

She stared at the bracelet she gave you. The one you gave back to her.

She can still see it, the pain in your eyes. The unshed tears as you took it off. The way you always ran away from her whenever she wanted to find you.

She can't help the sob that escaped her as she held it.

She wished she could take it back.

She wished she never felt attracted to him. Because that once fleeting attraction only made it worse when she saw the hurt in your eyes.

"Your grace." Jon calls out as he slips inside her office. The one thing that you always did whenever it was this time of the day. She longed to see you do it again. To come get her whenever it got too late. To bring her food once you knew that she skipped dinner in order to work more.

"You should eat, your grace." Jon further opens the door and she sees the servants he brought with him.

"Do not let them in." She says and the dothraki who was stationed to her quickly made a cross with their spears as to not let the servants in. And she marveled at how you always did that even if she never said it. How you were so attuned to what she wanted that even if she never voices them out, you always just know and you always do it. "Lord Commander. This is my office. No servant is allowed to enter here even if you came with good intentions."

"My apologies. Then I can-"

"No. I will get out of here myself. I do not trust your servants to not poison me." And it seemed paranoid but she had too many assassination attempts made by so-called servants to not consider such thing.

"My apologies again. Then I will leave you to it." She watches as the dothraki close the door and go back to their original position.

'What a stark difference.' She thinks to herself. 'She never once did that. Not even made others help her when she always brought me food.' And she also remembered the bandages on your hands as you held the food. And the confession from Grey Worm that you learned how to cook just so you can give her food when she overworked herself.

"I'm such an idiot." She cried once again as she gently held the bracelet.

-

It was a silent night, you realize as you got stationed in front of her chambers. Grey Worm figured that it's been two months since then and you also insisted on the position. Besides, you were only here as she slept, so you figured that you won't even see her.

"Y/N." You flinch as you hear Missandei.

"My lady." You call out and she slaps your arm.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that already."

"You did but-"

"No buts." You groan as you silently curse your brother. What a loudmouth.

"My apologies then. Missandei." She grins then takes your arm.

"Come."

"What! But my station."

"I can cover, Y/N." You glare at your comrade as Missandei pulls you to another room.

"Grey Worm might be my brother but he can get jealous too, you know?" You speak as Missandei stripped you of your uniform.

"Shut it." You chuckle as she gets annoyed.

"What are you trying-" You stop as she shoves some clothes onto you.

"Wear those."

"What-"

"Wear them." That was the final thing she says as she slips out of the room.

You look at the trousers and pants. It was a fancy version of what you usually wore.

'What could it be for?' You think but you wear them anyways. You know how Missandei can be if she isn't obeyed. Besides, you just know that Grey Worm will give you spartan training if you even thought about disobeying your essentially sister-in-law.

-

You arrive at her office and look at the basket and jar of wine in your hands.

Apparently, Daenerys have been missing all her meals for the past few days. Only opting for the bread to munch on as she toured and saw progress in her plans.

"She's punishing herself." Missandei says to you as she drags you. "Her guard always say that she cries at least once while she held your bracelet."

"It's not my bracelet anymore." You say with such pain in your voice that Missandei hugs you.

"It's yours. Even if you don't want it to be anymore." You sob into her shoulder as she comforts you. It's been months but you still haven't moved on. You never will, you knew that. Your fragile and broken heart will always be hers even if her heart wasn't yours anymore. "Just bring dinner to her, please. How will any of us see her ascend to her throne if she starves herself in the process?"

And so here you are. A bundle of nerves, just anxious.

"Get in, give her food then get out. Easy enough, right? It should be! Damn it!"

"Just get in." You look at Tyrion and frown.

"Even you?"

"I know what she did is unforgivable but you should-"

"I know what lies beyond. I know their atrocities." You say in resolution and open the door. The two dothrakis on her station sees you and slips out of the office as Daenerys continues working.

"Missandei? Can you just give me a glass of wine? One that can fi-"

"You should eat properly." You speak and you see as her hand stops writing. As she slowly looks at you. You smile sadly at her as you walk up to her desk. "Here." You clear her desk of her documents, bringing them over to the table in her office then bring out the contents of your basket. The ones you cooked with your own hands. She silently watches as you do all these. You don't forget to give her a glass of wine then smile at her. "Eat."

She looks at the food and wine then she tears up. Gods, how she missed this. How she missed you.

"Is this a dream?" You can hear the yearning in her voice for this to be her reality. And you know it is, the hurt and pain in your heart right now is the proof.

"It's not." You say as you pour yourself a glass of wine. You never liked the thing, always sobering through celebrations and such. And so, dream you will never drink this, you and her know that so you drink the glass in one go. You grunt as you put the glass down. You never liked it's effects before until now. The alcohol in you seemingly giving you courage to face her. "It really isn't. So eat, please." Daenerys nods and begins to help herself to the food. She watches as you pour yourself another glass.

"Do you-" She tries to stop you but you didn't want to remember this night. You didn't want this pain anymore.

-

You were drunk by the time Daenerys finishes her food. The entire jug of wine was almost emptied by you if she didn't stop you by your sixth glass.

"You know." You begin as you felt yourself get dizzy. "I knew there was a reason why I don't like wine. My self-control is slipping out of me. I can feel it." You giggle and laugh.

"Y/N-"

"And you! The love of my life!" You smile as you look at her and Daenerys felt like she travelled to the past where you looked at her like she was a goddess walking on the ground.

"Such a tragedy. I knew you would find someone better. I knew it in my head but I just- I still gambled my heart." You sigh wistfully as the pain squeezed her heart. "And I never got it back." She stares at you as you walk to her.

"Tell me, your grace." She felt another squeeze at the unfamiliar address. You stopped calling her that when the two of you made love for the first time.

"Was it fun?" She froze at that. "Was it good when you kissed him? Or when you fucked him?" You refuse to believe that any sane man would be able to resist her charm. Hell, even you couldn't resist it.

"Did it feel good when you broke my heart?" You couldn't stop the tears now as they flowed freely onto her lap. She looks as you give her a defeated smile. The same one she always sees when you decide to sacrifice yourself for a comrade, but this time, combined with your tears, was more painful than every other defeated smile you ever gave. Because after those defeated smiles. After the battle is over, you always walk over to her and give her the brightest grin and the most gentle kiss. But now, she knows she won't have that anymore. "Did you laugh when you heard it shatter? Was it- was it worth it?" You sob as you kneel. You can't think anymore. If you were sober, none of this would be spoken to her. None of this would ever known to anyone. You are an unsullied. Bottling your feelings and not showing any emotions was what you were trained for. But alcohol brought everything out. Your every self-deprecating thought, every pain and every sorrow. Because as much as you were known for your smile, no one knows how you looked when you are in grief. No one until Daenerys came. She can only watch as you sobbed until you fall asleep. She can only shed silent tears as she whispered her apologies to you.

-

You wake with a massive headache. One that makes you groan as you sit on the familiar yet unfamiliar bed. You haven't been here in a while.

"Fuck. I'm never drinking alcohol again." You grunt as the pain hits you again.

"That would be for the best." You freeze as you hear her voice. You hear her shuffle around then a cup appears in your vision. "Drink up. The maester said this would help with the pain." You shakily accepts the cup and drink it one go. The pain now concentrated at your tounge as the hot tea travels through your body. You look at her face and you can't help but voice out the first word that gets in your head.

"Dilaw." Daenerys tilts her head and you blush as you facepalm for yourself.

"Di- what?" She asks and you cover your face.

"Literally, it means yellow. But another meaning means happiness. Or source of it." Daenerys blushes as she hears your explanation. In any other day, you would grin then kiss and hug her but instead pain grips your heart instead. "I should go." You stand and avoid touching her. "Thank you for letting me sleep here. Farewell, your grace." Daenerys stops you before you can even open the door.

"I'm sorry." She says as tears flow through her face. "I'm so sorry. I took you for granted. I took everything we ever had for granted. But please, Y/N. Please give me another chance. Give me the chance to make everything right. Give me the chance to pick up your heart's broken pieces. Give me the chance to make it whole again."

"Your grace." The title makes her grip tighter on your wrist. "I have no more right. No more fight. And no more courage in me. You have taken all of those away." You shake as you finally let everything out. "You have always owned the heart you broke with your own hands. I never got it back."

"Then let me earn your trust again. Let me by your side again. I'm begging you, Y/N. Without you, everything feels wrong. Everything I'm fighting for felt empty. Every promise and plans I make felt futile."

"I can't. Not yet, at least. Please give me more time. More moments to myself. Then maybe, I can ease myself into your side again."

"Then I'll wait for that day." She finally lets go and you look at her. Look at her tear-stricken and wipe her tears away.

"Thank you, Dany." The familiar address gives her hope in her heart even as you slip away from her room.

You don't run anymore. You walk as you go outside the castle.

You knew that eventually, the inevitable will happen. That you will be hers again. Because your heart that you always protected was now guarded and owned by a dragon.

-

PS.

I will hit myself if I don't get chapter 4 out. I swear.

I need more hours in the day, to be honest. I hate working 9 am to 6 pm 😭😭.

[halcyonfawn]

the meaning behind "face the raven" theme in "wild blue yonder" and more

a continuation of this post. i need to talk about this otherwise i'll explode.

some people have also said that this theme is playing in "last christmas" and "hell bent" (thank you for pointing that out, i'm going to die) which makes it all even worse (better). therefore, this post is, more or less, destined to turn into capaldi's era brainrot. but not all of it, i promise.

you've been warned.

first of all, allow me to refresh your memory. let's look into the context of the scenes where we heard this music theme before.

"last christmas"

according to series 8 official soundtrack, this theme is a part of "every christmas is last christmas" and is heard quite clearly two times. they're both important scenes for the doctor and clara.

too late.

a moment full of regrets and nostalgia. the doctor thinking he's lost clara again, wishing he would have come back sooner. clara reminicing her life without the doctor in it.

"so no one matched up to danny, eh?" "there was one other man, but that would never have worked out." "why not?" "he was impossible."

it is (heavily) implied that "one other man" is the doctor. does the doctor himself realise that she's talking about him? open for interpretation. but what this small exchange truly does is showing a game of saying something without actually saying it.

"can you really see no difference in me?" "clara oswald, you will never look any different to me."

yet another way of dancing around words. there's something special and touching about this last line. it is sort of a confession of unconditional love. but the word itself - love - is never spoken out loud.

then again, twelfth might be face blind.

second chances.

now, this scene is a complete opposite of the one mentioned above. it's full of hope, anticipation, happiness. a beginning of a new arc. he is given a second chance and he takes it. the doctor asks clara to run away with him once again. and she says "yes" without hesitation, takes his hand, kisses him on the cheek.

conclusion? these two scenes are focused entirely on the doctor and clara's relationship. it is there to show their strong connection, how much they mean to one another. utter devastation at the thought of their time ending and the absolute joy of reuniting after being separated. a chance at a happy ending. which also makes the music that plays on the background their theme.

"face the raven"

"every christmas is last christmas" is now turned into "face the raven" and is asocciated with clara's death. it also makes the previous name even more heartwrenching since last christmas was literally clara and doctor's last hurrah. we can hear this piece of music appear in two scenes as well.

clara's monologue about facing the raven.

"if danny pink can do it so can i. die right. die like i mean it, face the raven. maybe this is what i wanted. maybe this is it. maybe this is why i kept running. maybe this is why i kept taking all those stupid risks, kept pushing it."

she's accepting her fate and aknowleges her recklesness all the way throught the season 9. it was meant to be. there wasn't enough space for two doctors in the tardis.

"i let you get reckless" "why? why shouldn't i be reckless? you're reckless all the bloody time! why can't i be like you?" "clara, there's nothing special about me. i'm nothing but less breakable than you. i should've taken care of you."

this scene is also about how a human life can be so very short compared to the time lord's and how easily it can end. it's fragile. and it's the doctor's curse: bearing the pain of losing his loved ones.

clara meeting her fate.

as she approaches the raven, ever so brave, the doctor watches her. he hears clara scream, then witness her collapsing onto the ground. it is extremely painful, but this is, i repeat, the doctor's curse: watching his companions leave. there's no use in running away from that pain, it haunts him every step of the way.

"hell bent"

next time, "face the raven" theme can be heard during the memory wipe sequence. there is no name given for the background music in this particular moment, but it's quite obvious it represents loss and... letting go?

the doctor is about to make clara forget their time together (does that ring a bell, anyone?).

it is worth pointing out that the music becomes the loudest at the exact moment the doctor says:

"look how far i went for fear of losing you. this has to stop. one of us has to go."

it is the culmination of their relationship. companions that push each other to extremes. together they might destroy the whole universe in order to keep each other safe. there's no other way but to separate. they've formed such a strong connection than one is ought to forget the other.

even though at first the doctor is determined to wipe clara's memories, he then admits she is right: it is unfair to take away all that wonderful time they had from her. so he gives her a choice. or, more like, an offer to play a russian roulette. it's either you or me. i'm not going to press that button. we will do this together.

to summarise: all of these moments featured a strong connection between clara and the doctor. it also tells us a story about how hard it is to lose someone you care about deeply, especially for the doctor.

how is it all connected to the doctor and donna?

memory wipe

the doctor has to make donna and clara forget about him in order to keep them safe. expect that he doesn't give donna a choice, wiping her memory almost instantly, without saying a proper goodbye to her. obviously, he didn't have enough time to think of a better way to solve the problem since donna wouldn't have lasted long. however, it is still a decision he regrets making.

from "the star beast":

"i'm so glad you're back, donna. it killed me, it killed me, it killed me."

if we take a look at clara's situation, it's a bit different. i've already mentioned it above: at first, the doctor wants to do the same thing to clara that he did to donna. make her forget. expect, this time he is confronted for doing so (even threatened, at some point).

"these have been the best years of my life and they're mine."

i think this line triggers something in the doctor. because this is when he realises that this is not the right thing to do. not exactly. he'd already done it once and he regretted it. so this time, he offers a slightly different solution. someone still has to forget, but they'll press that button together. it's a mutual choice.

now, i know it's not entirely related to the dialogue in "wild blue yonder", but i think it's worth mentioning that donna and clara's stories are somewhat similar. i'm sure it's been said before, but it's still important.

donna's story was incomplete because she wasn't given a choice. now, that she remembers, 14th doctor makes sure their time together is worth-while. a second chance just like in "last christams".

too alike

another similarity between these two stories is that clara and donna are not entirely humans. not anymore.

donna's half timelord. even though her head is still not big enough to fit all the doctor's memories, she still has a part of the doctor in her.

clara's frozen in time, that makes her practically immortal. she risks her life, she reverses the polarity of the neuroblock, she gets her own tardis, she's even reffered to as "clara who" at the end of "hell bent". she has become the doctor in a sense.

but there can only be one doctor. so where's the story heading to at this point, i wonder? but we'll come back to this question later.

"but what really happened?"

before i say anything, it is obvious that the doctor's silence before and after he says "a lot" is him reminicing all that'd happened to him during the 11th, 12th and 13th reincarnations. all of the loss and pain he went through.

but why "face the raven" theme of all things? it could be a general theme of grief/nostalgia/painful memories, nothing else implied.

but please let me be delusional for a bit longer!

just as that scene in "hell bent" brought the doctor back to the moment he made donna forget him, could it be that bringing back his best friend's memories in a whole universe that "he absolutely loves", also reminded him of another important person in his life with similar story? just like "hell bent" mirrored "the journey's end", "wild blue younder" gave us a reference to "hell bent".

this is where we get back to the question about the current story direction.

foreshadowing?

donna's story is not over. and there are a lot of possibilities how it can end.

say, there is a connection to clara's story here, i wonder if that's where the plot's heading. in one of the trailers, the doctor does say "i'm not sure if i can save you this time" to donna. and it worries me. then again, maybe they're just tricking us into thinking something bad will happen (oh the drama).

i'd say it's unlikely donna's going to die because that would be absolutely devastating after just bringing her back. at the very least, the ending wouldn't be completely "happily ever after". perhaps, sacrifices will be made in order to prevent something truly horrible from happening.

why did this face come back?

in "the girl who died" twelfth doctor finally realises why he got his face. it is a call-back to "the fires of pompei" (don't even get me started on its being the episode with 10th and donna).

the message the doctor was giving to himself turned out to be:

"i'm the doctor and i save people!"

but what is 14th trying to tell himself?

i think it's about donna and more.

he's fixing his mistake of erasing her memories and depriving her of the right to remember amazing things that'd happened to her.

it's a reminder to actually tell people how much they mean to him. as we can see, 14th's more open with his feelings and constantly shows signs of affection towards his loved ones, even breaking the "never say i love you" rule.

it's about being honest and open with people because they deserve to hear it from him and he deserves to hear it back. because "things happen and then it's too late".

again, take 12th doctor, for instance. he constantly represses his feelings. but in my humble opinion, the reason why he's changed by season 10 was clara. she pulled him out of the dark place. and even though her death almost threw him back to that state again, he is still a better man by season 10.

but there were things left unsaid. love and care were always there but it was never said out loud. kind of the same thing happened with 13th.

i strongly believe that donna is that person for 14th. they're best friends who love each other deeply. and after the doctor lost her and got a second chance to fix everything, he does, he's being affectione. he's finally open with his feelings.

conslusion: why did you make us read all fo this?

to answer the question in the title: it's all tied with how memories are important and priceless, fixing past mistakes, moving on and learning to treasure every moment with people you care about like it's your last.

it can also be a foreshadowing for something terrible, but i choose to hope for the better.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

aaaand that is the end of my doctor who rant. thank you for getting this far, if you did!

my feelings about all of this can be described with this one meme:

[rynwritesreid]

Mind games~Spencer Reid

Chapter three~ nothing’s new

Chapter summary: The FBI gives you time off, allowing you time to heal after what happened to you. But after news spreads, someone from your past contacts you, making old wounds resurface, making you turn to none other than Spencer Reid.

Chapter warnings: Talks about the BDSM community and BDSM dynamics. Talks of fainting. Submissive reader and dominant Spencer. Alcohol consumption. Mentions of what happened to you in the previous chapter but nothing serious. Reader cries but Spencer comforts her. Mentions of emotional wounds from previous relationships.

A/N: I might start releasing these every week instead of every other week, but I am not sure. I also hope this is a good description of what BDSM and specifically D/S relationships are like, I know that community gets a lot of really bad stories written about them.

~mind game’s masterlist~

~join the mind games taglist~

Everyone on the team had been looking after you, making sure you were okay. Spencer, however, had been a godsend. He would send you texts throughout the day, even though the man hated technology. He had opened up to you about what he had been through, maybe in hopes of you opening up, or maybe he just wanted to show you he knew how you were feeling. But you didn’t really care, you were just happy that he was no longer horrible towards you.

 

You did want to open to Spencer, to everyone, and let them know what you had seen, but you just couldn’t. And the fact that people from academy had been texting you, telling you they had heard what happened and that they couldn’t imagine how you felt, just made it worse.

It had also made it back to your ex-boyfriend, who after 1 and a half years of ignoring your texts, had decided to call you. Part of you wanted to ignore the call, to push away any connection to the past. But another part of you was curious about what he had to say after all this time.

 

Taking a deep breath, you answered the call. His voice sounded distant and strained as he spoke, "Hey... I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry."

 

The sincerity in his tone surprised you, and for a moment, you were reminded of why you had loved him in the first place. But then reality set in, reminding you of the pain and heartbreak he had caused.

 

"I appreciate your sympathy," you replied coolly, trying to maintain a sense of composure. "But I'm doing my best to move forward."

 

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and you could almost hear him searching for the right words.

 

"I understand if you don't want to hear from me anymore," he finally said, his voice filled with regret. "I just wanted you to know that I've changed. I've done a lot of soul-searching and therapy since we broke up. I wish I could have been there for you when you needed me."

 

Your grip on the phone tightened as his words struck a chord within you. The longing for closure and understanding warred with the pain and bitterness that still lingered from your past.

 

"It's too late now," you replied, your voice laced with a mixture of anger and sadness. "You had your chance, and you blew it."

 

There was silence on the other end, and you could almost picture him taking in a deep breath before speaking again.

 

"You're right," he said quietly. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I hope that someday, maybe, you can find it in your heart to let go of the hurt I caused."

 

Tears welled up in your eyes as his words hit you like a wave crashing onto the shore. The pain of his betrayal resurfaced, threatening to engulf you once again. Part of you wanted to believe in his sincerity, to believe that people could change. But another part of you feared being hurt all over again.

 

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you," you managed to say, your voice trembling with emotion. You didn’t care what he had to say anymore, so you just hung up.

 

You couldn’t hold back any more and you just began to sob. You picked up your phone and decided to call Spencer, it probably would have been smarter to call one of the girls, Spencer wasn’t the only one who understood what you had gone through, but Spencer was the only one who could truly understand you.

 

As the phone rang, your tears continued to flow, blurring your vision and making it difficult to see. The weight of your emotions felt like an anchor dragging you down into a sea of despair. Each ring seemed to echo in the cavernous void of loneliness that had enveloped you.

 

Finally, Spencer's voice broke through the haze of your anguish. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, his tone filled with concern.

 

You tried to steady your voice, but it came out choked with sobs. "Spencer," you managed to utter between gasps for air. "I... I need you."

 

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, and then Spencer's voice softened with understanding. "I'm here for you," he said gently. "Take all the time you need, and when you're ready, I'll be right by your side."

 

“I’m ready now Spencer, please.” In that moment, you could hear the urgency in your own voice, the desperation for comfort and solace. The pain of your past relationship had resurfaced, triggering a deep yearning for someone who truly understood you. And Spencer, with his unwavering support and compassion, was the only person who could provide that.

 

Silence lingered on the other end of the line, and you wondered if perhaps you had overwhelmed him with your sudden vulnerability. But just as doubt began to creep in, Spencer's voice filled the void once again.

 

"I'm on my way," he said firmly, his words laced with determination. "Stay where you are. I'll be there as soon as I can."

 

Relief washed over you like a gentle tide, easing some of the turmoil in your heart. You trusted Spencer implicitly; his presence was a balm to your wounded soul.

 

Spencer rushed into Hotch’s office, telling him that you needed someone with you right now, and that he will be back to work as soon as he can be.

 

And Spencer, a man who was always true to his word, was at your door within 20 minutes.

 

You opened the door, your tear-streaked face betraying the pain you had been holding inside. Spencer took one look at you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace. The warmth of his touch, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest, brought a sense of security that you hadn't felt in a long time.

 

"I'm here," he whispered softly into your ear, his voice filled with genuine concern. "You're not alone anymore."

 

You clung to him, seeking solace in his presence, as he led you to the couch and sat down beside you. “You don't have to face this pain by yourself”, his voice was calming, “everyone on the team loves you, they all would be here in a heartbeat for you. I mean they are discussing what to get you for when you come back to work.”

 

You let out a weak laugh, the first sign of a smile since the whole ordeal began. It was comforting to know that you had a support system, a group of people who truly cared about you.

 

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I don't know where I would be without all of you."

 

Spencer's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes filled with genuine compassion. "You're stronger than you think," he assured you softly. "And we'll be right here with you every step of the way."

 

In that moment, as you sat there with Spencer by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope. The pain and heartache were still present, but now they were tempered by the love and support surrounding you.

 

“Would you like to talk about what happened, or is there something else on your mind?”

 

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you were ready to relive the details of the past, but then you realized that Spencer was right. It was time to face what had happened and start the healing process.

 

Taking a deep breath, you began to share your story. The words tumbled out, sometimes in a rush, other times choked with emotion. Spencer listened attentively, never interrupting or judging. He offered gentle words of encouragement, his presence a constant reminder that you were not alone.

 

As you recounted the painful memories, it felt like a weight was being lifted off your shoulders. Each word spoken was an act of defiance against the pain that had consumed you for so long. And with each passing minute, you felt a little bit stronger.

 

When you finally finished, there was a silence that hung in the air, as if the weight of your story needed a moment to settle in. Spencer broke the stillness with a soft sigh.

 

"I'm so sorry," he said sincerely, “you should never have had to have gone through that. He will rot in prison. And that ex of yours, he did not deserve you.”

 

You nodded, grateful for Spencer's unwavering support and understanding. His words were like a soothing balm to your wounded soul, validating the pain you had endured. Your heart ached with the realization that you had been in a toxic relationship, but knowing that you were no longer alone gave you the strength to move forward.

 

"Thank you, Spencer," you whispered, tears brimming in your eyes once again. "I don't know how I would have made it through this without you."

 

Spencer's gaze softened, his hand gently wiping away your tears. "You don't have to thank me," he said softly. "Being there for you is what friends do. We look out for each other."

 

The word "friends" lingered in the air, and you couldn't help but wonder if there was something more between you and Spencer. The connection you shared felt deeper than mere friendship, but you were both still healing from past wounds. It was too soon to explore those feelings, and not long ago, Spencer had shown his dislike for you.

 

*

 

After about two weeks, you were back in the bullpen. Garcia had decorated your desk, telling you that this always make her feel better and she thought it would do the same to you, JJ and Emily informed you on all the gossip you had missed, Hotch had gone full dad mode on you, making sure you were okay, Rossi had invited you over to his for a private cooking lesson, Morgan had told you all the pranks he had pulled on Spencer. Spencer on the other hand seemed to keep his distance, he had smiled at you, but ever since that day he had come over something seemed to have changed.

 

You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was a palpable shift in the dynamics between you and Spencer. He was still kind and supportive, but there was a subtle hesitancy in his interactions with you. It was as if he was holding back, as if there were unresolved emotions swirling beneath the surface.

 

You desperately wanted to address it, to talk to Spencer about what had transpired between you, but you feared that doing so might jeopardize the fragile bond you had built. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he saw you as nothing more than a friend and confidant?

 

You pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the work at hand. The team had a new case, one that required their full attention. As you discussed the details with your teammates, you noticed Spencer's gaze linger on you for a moment longer than necessary. It was a fleeting look, but enough to make your heart skip a beat.

 

Throughout the day, you found yourself stealing glances at Spencer whenever you could. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a connection that had grown stronger during your time of need. But you both had been through so much already, and neither of you wanted to rush into anything without being sure.

 

As the case progressed, Spencer's presence beside you became more prominent. He would stand just a little too close, his hand brushing against yours as he passed you a file or offered his insights. It was subtle, but it spoke volumes about what he was feeling.

 

Even JJ had commented on it, asking if something was going on between the two of you, but you assured her nothing was going on. But the truth was, you weren't quite sure how to define whatever it was that was happening between you and Spencer.

 

*

 

After the case was over, the team decided to go out for celebratory drinks. This was the first time you had gone out since what had happened to you. You were sat in-between JJ and Garcia, they were both talking about their funniest sex stories and you couldn't help but laugh along with them, grateful for the distraction from your own thoughts. Across the table, Spencer was engaged in a lively conversation with Rossi and Morgan, his laughter ringing out in the crowded bar.

 

You don’t know what compelled you, but you decided to share yours, and you were almost certain Spencer couldn’t hear you.

 

“If you want to mine”, you paused, allowing the girls to give you their full attention, “I told my ex that I was into BDSM and he thought that just meant me calling him daddy. So, when I told him what I was really into, he nearly fainted. It was definitely an interesting and eye-opening experience." The girls burst into laughter, their faces turning red from the combination of alcohol and amusement.

 

The sound caught Spencer's attention, his ears perking up as he turned his head towards you. His eyes locked with yours, and you could've sworn there was a flicker of interest in them.

 

"Wait, what did I miss?" he asked, leaning closer to catch the tail end of the conversation.

 

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks as you glanced at the girls. JJ nudged you playfully, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

 

"Oh, Y/N's just regaling us with her kinky adventures," Garcia chimed in with a teasing smirk.

 

Spencer raised an eyebrow, a mix of curiosity and surprise evident on his face. "Is that so?" he asked, trying to hide a smile.

 

You shifted in your seat, feeling a mix of embarrassment and anticipation. The playful conversation seemed to have opened a door, allowing for a light-hearted connection between you and Spencer. You took a deep breath, deciding to seize the moment.

 

"Yeah, well, it was definitely an experience," you replied, matching his playful tone. "But let's just say, I've learned my lesson about dating vanilla guys."

 

Spencer chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Well, I can assure you, I'm far from vanilla," he said, a hint of mischief in his voice.

 

JJ and Garcia exchanged knowing glances, silently urging you to take the plunge. They had seen the connection between you and Spencer long before either of you had acknowledged it, and they were more than ready to play matchmakers.

 

"So," Garcia interjected with a sly grin, "are we going to sit here and talk about kinks all night, or are you two going to finally address the elephant in the room?"

 

“I-erm what elephant?” you asked, there was hint of confusion in your voice.

 

“Oh, come on.” JJ stated “Even when Spencer hated you, he couldn’t take his eyes of you.”

 

Spencer's cheeks flushed slightly, his gaze shifting nervously between you and JJ. You could see the internal battle raging within him, the fear of rejection warring with his desire for something more.

 

Finally, Spencer took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to speak. "I... I have to admit," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "Even when I claimed to dislike you, I couldn't deny the pull I felt towards you. You're intelligent, compassionate, and..." He trailed off, his eyes searching yours for any sign of reciprocation.

 

A warm smile spread across your face as you reached across the table, gently placing your hand on top of Spencer's. "And what?" you prompted softly.

 

He let out a shaky laugh, his fingers intertwining with yours. "And beautiful," he finished, his voice filled with sincerity.

 

JJ and Garcia exchanged triumphant glances as their matchmaking efforts paid off.

 

“You know, I think it’s time you two go home, so you can discuss this somewhere Hotch can’t hear you.” Emily said in a hushed tone.

 

You and Spencer laughed, realizing that your friends were right. It was time to have a more private conversation about the growing feelings between you. As the night came to an end, you and Spencer found yourselves outside the bar, away from prying ears.

 

The air was crisp, a gentle breeze rustling through the trees. You leaned against the side of the building, facing Spencer who stood only a few feet away. There was a comfortable silence between you as you both took a moment to collect your thoughts.

 

Finally, Spencer spoke up, his voice filled with vulnerability. "I never meant to push you away before. I was scared...scared of opening myself up to someone, scared of getting hurt. But seeing what you went through, how strong you were...it made me realize how much I care about you."

 

Your heart swelled at his words, grateful for his honesty. "Spencer, I understand why you acted the way you did. We've all been hurt before, and we all have our own ways of protecting ourselves," you replied softly. "But I want you to know that I care about you too, and I'm willing to take the risk if it means we can be together."

 

Spencer's eyes met yours, filled with a mix of relief and hope. "You would really give us a chance?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

A gentle smile tugged at your lips as you stepped closer to him. "Yes, Spencer, I would. I would give us a chance," you confirmed, your voice filled with certainty. "Because the truth is, Spencer, I've been falling for you ever since the first case I worked.”

 

Spencer's eyes widened, surprise mingling with joy. "Really? Even when I was being an insufferable jerk?"

 

You chuckled softly. "Especially then," you admitted. “But I do have to know what you mean when you say your far from vanilla.”

 

Spencer blushed, his cheeks turning a shade of crimson. "Well," he stammered, "I've always had a... deep fascination with role-playing scenarios and exploring different power dynamics." He paused, his gaze searching yours for any sign of judgment or discomfort. “And I can say I enjoy being the dominant one more.”

 

“Is that so? What have been your favourite scene you’ve done so far?”

 

Spencer cleared his throat, a bashful smile playing on his lips. "Well, one of my favourite scenes involved a classic teacher-student dynamic," he confessed, his voice laced with excitement. "I got to play the strict professor, and she was my eager and naughty student."

 

Your eyebrows raised in surprise and curiosity. "Oh? And how did that play out?"

 

He chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Let's just say there were some detentions and extra credit assignments involved," he replied coyly. "It was all about the power play and the thrill of breaking the rules within the safety of our consensual role-playing."

 

He then once again looked to see if you were unconformable. “What about you? What do you enjoy.” He asked.

“I, erm- well I enjoy being the submissive one. I was in a dynamic relationship with someone, and they gave me a necklace to wear, to show I belonged to them. They used to tell me what outfits I could wear when going out.”

 

Spencer's eyebrows furrowed, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity. "Did you enjoy the feeling of submission, or was it more about the trust and surrender that came with it?" he asked gently, his voice filled with genuine interest.

 

You took a moment to consider his question before answering honestly. "It was a combination of both," you replied, your voice soft but unwavering. "There was something incredibly liberating about giving up control and trusting someone else to take care of me. It allowed me to let go of my responsibilities and just be in the moment."

 

Spencer nodded, a thoughtful look on his face as he took in your words. "I understand," he said quietly. "The power dynamics in BDSM can be incredibly nuanced and fulfilling when both parties are open and communicative about their desires and boundaries."

 

"Would you ever consider exploring that dynamic with me?" you asked cautiously, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. “I mean, I would still be the submissive one.”

 

Spencer’s eyes softened, filled with warmth and reassurance. He reached out to gently cup your cheek, his touch sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. "I would be honoured to explore that dynamic with you," he replied softly. "But only if we establish clear boundaries, practice open communication, and ensure that both of our needs are met."

 

You smiled, relieved by his understanding and respect for the importance of consent and communication in such exploration. "I couldn't agree more," you murmured, leaning into his touch. "We'll take it slow, step by step, and create a safe space for both of us to express ourselves."

~taglist~

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[rattkachuk]

💛 mattdrai after the scf

💛 reunion kiss / relief - ao3 link !!!!!

It’s a late summer in Ontario, and golden sunshine filters through the curtains through one of Connor and Lauren’s many guest rooms, bird song accompanying the breeze through an open window. Leon is sunburnt and its a few days out from Connor’s wedding, and with the amount of events and activities he’d been a part of as one of the groomsmen it was almost enough to make him feel as tired as he was during hockey season. He had to allow himself an hour or so to just do nothing but mindlessly scroll Instagram in the quiet of his room.

He’s pretty sure everybody staying here is doing the exact same thing, there’s some faint voices from the dock on the lake, someone might be watching TV out in the living room, the doorbell rings (probably another McDavid-Kyle family member) and Leon hears a single set of footsteps go to answer the door. It’s all muffled background noise and several minutes pass without Leon thinking much of any of it, until a text pops up on his screen from Connor.

Connor: hey. don’t be mad. he wouldn’t take no for an answer and he rly wants to see you.

There’s no time to process before there’s a gentle knock at the door.

Leon’s fight or flight kicks, seemingly cancelling each other out so he feels like a deer in the headlights and can do nothing but sit still on the bed. “Yah?

The door handle turns and Matthew is standing on the other side. Fucking perfectly endearing smile on his face, and Leon feels his heart twist.

“Hey,” Matthew speaks first, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder as he rocks back and forth on his feet in the doorway.

Leon blinks, finally finding words, “What are you doing here?”

“Uh. Connor’s wedding?”

“Connor didn’t invite you.”

“I was supposed to be your plus one.”

Leon bites his lip and gives a slight shake to his head before making himself get off the bed, walking over to tug Matthew in by the elbow of his sweater—a Puma sweater that Leon had been missing for months now.

The door clicks shut and Matthew lets his bag fall to the floor, “You don’t want me here?”

“Matthew. I don’t know.”

“Okay…well, you haven’t answered a single call or text from me since June, and I already had the tickets booked, if you didn’t want me here you should have fucking said something. How am I supposed to…I don’t know what to do either, this is new territory for me, too, y’know? But I can’t keep waiting around. I need you to talk to me, Leon. So, I'm sorry if this is the only way I can get a conversation with you.”

Leon walks away to create distance between them, going as far as the walls of the room will let him as he buries his face in his hands. His chest hurts while his head is swimming, and an ache that hasn’t left since that final game 7 buzzer surges to the surface and it makes him feel sick. Underneath it all, there’s the bitter taste of regret like bile in his throat. He wasn’t there for Matthew. Wasn’t able to be a normal fucking partner and celebrate with him because he was too busy nursing one of the worst pains he’d ever felt. Something so gnawing and deep that left him feeling empty most days, and so distant from those he loved. So distant that even with Matthew here in front of him, it's hard to look at him.

When he turns back towards him, there’s tears in Matthew’s eyes and he’s not even trying to stop them as they track down his cheeks.

“I’m not sorry for winning,” Matthew tells him, voice thick.

“No. Matthew. You shouldn’t be,” Leon sniffs and takes a minute to choose his words before continuing, “You deserved it, you deserved every second of it. It just. It hurts. You know?”

“I do know,” Matthew looks towards the ceiling and laughs, dry and devoid of any real humour, “This whole time I just kept thinking about how special it would be to celebrate this whole fucking with you, and I can never do that because I know exactly what it feels like.”

“Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Matthew agrees with pursed lips.

Guilt raises it’s hand for a turn in Leon’s sea of emotions, bustling to the front of the line as he thinks about Matthew’s unanswered texts in his phone. The strings of ‘I love you’s’ from that week of partying with the cup, the ‘just checking in’ and ‘i miss you’s’.

“I’m sorry I haven’t answered you,” Leon says, looking down at his feet as the shame burns hot on his neck, “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to be what you need. I still don’t know if I can be or if…if we…”

Matthew is the one to close the distance, his hands on Leon’s shoulders causing him to look up with a shock.

“Hey. Stop. I just need you, Leo. I don’t need you to be anything more than you have been, not right now,” Matthew moves a hand to the side of Leon’s face, and there’s desperation in his blue eyes, “We’re getting through this, though. And we’re doing it together now, okay? Come on.”

Something drains from Leon a little as he watches Matthew’s eyes, and the ache under his skin grows. Grows until he feels like he needs to pull away again, hide in some dark corner of the world where Matthew can’t find him until he can fix himself, but then Matthew’s hand gives his shoulder a gentle shake and a different sensation starts to dull the hurt. The touch spreads some rays of warmth to his soul like the forgiving sunshine that curls around them both.

There's a new feeling that he can place almost instantly. Relief. He thinks that maybe the cure for all the hurt and the pain was the exact thing he was avoiding. It was Matthew, of course it was.

Leon kisses Matthew, slow and quiet and different than it had ever been before. He pulls him into his arms and Matthew sighs against him, the lines of their bodies pressed together. Matthew had always carried some infectious energy, always able to crawl under Leon’s skin and make a home there with his smug smile and caring heart. It seeped into him now, making Leon feel the warmest and most content he’d been all summer.

When he pulls back, Leon hides his face on Matthew’s shoulder while the other runs his fingers through Leon’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Leon breaths quietly against Matthew’s neck.

Matthew’s arms tighten around him, “Me too. We’ve got this, yah?”

Leon nods, and he believes him.

[melodramaticatheart]

We Have A Deal - Lyra x Gray

word count: 1.2k

book: the grandest game series

ship: lyra kane x grayson hawthorne

requested by anon!

I adjust my crimson dress, the silky fabric whispering against my skin as I glance at Grayson. "You clean up nicely, Mr. Hawthorne," I remark, a hint of a smirk playing on my lips. I’d seen him with a suit on before but never one like this. The color reminds me of stormy clouds, like his eyes. It suits his personality perfectly. I silently chuckle at the wordplay, watching as Grayson parks in front of a valet. The car ride was silent, thirty-five excruciating silent minutes to be exact, it was no wonder why I was going insane making jokes to myself. 

Hawthorne boy had decided to take me out to dinner to discuss the next part of our plan. He’d showed up at my apartment three weeks ago saying he knew who I was and that he wanted to help with my dad’s mysterious suicide, all I want is to go home and regret ever calling him in the first place.

“Ms. Kane, are you going to get out of the car or will I have to carry you out?” I look at my now-open car door and see Grayson extending a hand. I must’ve been lost in thought. “No need Grayson,” I say, staring him right in the eye. I get out of the car without taking his hand. 

The first thing I pick up on is the faint noise of live music. Jazz music. “You like jazz, correct?” I spin to where Grayson is standing, watching me I realize. He looks at me closer waiting for an answer. “Yes I do, I've just never had the pleasure of hearing it live.” I hear the way my voice softens at that last part. I hate how much he knows about me. I was supposed to have the upper hand in this. I quickly dismiss the recurring thought and walk into the club without waiting for him. Sadly he catches up to me in three long strides. I walk beside him silently as he leads me to a booth at the corner of the club. Couples are dancing to the music closer to the back of the club while others enjoy their drinks at the bar to the side. It’s the band that gets my attention most of all. I’ve always wanted to listen to jazz live, but I’d never gotten the opportunity. Vinyls were the closest thing I could get to it. In one word it was electric. “How did you know I liked jazz?” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I turn to the blonde boy sitting in front of me looking for an answer. “The day I went to your apartment for the first time you were listening to the Time Out vinyl. I thought it would be better to bring you to an environment you could be comfortable in.” He’d picked up on that? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, but he can remember what music I was listening to three weeks ago? I shift in the booth not knowing how to respond so instead I change the subject. “I’m going to get a drink, do you want anything?” I stand up running a hand through my dress. “An espresso martini,” Grayson says, looking at me. My eyebrows shoot up. “You drink?” “Rarely, but I think I’m going to need it if I have to deal with you all night” I scowl at his response, making my way to the bar. I order quickly, making my way to our table to continue our impending conversation. “Ok, Hawthorne boy, why did you bring me here?” I say shooting him a look. He takes a sip before hitting me with a question instead of an answer. “Are your classes starting soon, Lyra?” I straighten not expecting that. “They start in two months,” I respond watching as Grayson takes a sip of his espresso before setting it aside. “You want to know what my family has to do with your father's suicide, well it’s not that easy Ms. Kane.” “Nothing’s ever easy with you, Hawthorne boy.” I retort staring him in the eye. “But I’m assuming you didn’t drive me thirty-five minutes to tell me that” A sly smirk starts making its way to my lips.

Grayson’s eyes glint in the dim light of the club. “Maybe I just wanted to bring a pretty girl to a jazz club.” He tilts his head, looking every bit the white rich boy persona I imagine him to be. But I can’t dwell on the fact he just called me pretty because he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket to show me something. “I found this in my family’s home, I thought you’d find it interesting.” He holds out his phone to a picture of a file named Thomas Thomas. “This isn’t my dad,” I say flatly after scanning the page's content.  

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive.”

Grayson shifts in his seat taking another sip of his espresso. It was clear he didn’t drink alcohol often with the way his eyes watered at the taste. “Your little riddle and this file are our only clues, at the moment.” He says trying to think of something to say.

I’m about to say something when he cuts me off making me shut my mouth once more. “I have a proposition for you. I’ve been debating it but I don’t see any other way I can help you.” He seems to pause a second before sharing with me his idea. “Every year my family hosts some sort of game this year it’s private. That means we can pick our contestants unlike last year-” “Grayson I know all this. What does that have to do with us?” I cut him off confused with where he’s taking this. He only stares at me. 

That’s when I realize I said ‘us’ as in me and him. A team. I sink back into the booth until he responds. “This year the game is a little different” I watch how he traces the outline of his cup “I want you to be in the games this year.” I can’t help it I burst out laughing, me on an island for two weeks, yeah right “I’m sorry I need a moment, I can’t take you seriously,” I look up to see Grayson’s straight face. The laughter bubbles up again. I wipe at the tears in my eyes before taking a sip of my wine. “No” “Why not? You’d be getting paid, you’d be comfortable, and we would be close so we could work together to figure out more. Plus I’d have more resources there with me.” I watch as he lists the reasons. Good reasons. “Grayson no, I can’t, look they are good reasons but I have a life, I have my mom who would go insane if I didn’t text for two weeks, it won’t work.” I can’t leave my life not when I have her depending on me. “I want to help Lyra I do, it’s been eating at me. And I won’t be able to rest until I’m sure you’re at peace.” He stares at me with those stupid pretty eyes of his. I look away trying to collect myself. 

“If I do this, you have to promise me I'll be able to contact my mom at least once a day.” 

“Deal”

“Ok then Hawthorne Boy, I guess I am one to play games after all.”

⊹‿︵‿୨ི୧‿︵‿⊹

THATS THAT ME ESPRESSO

this is my longest one shot ever but idk i hate my writing 😭

taglist: @heqrtlcss, @reminiscentreader, @urbanflorals, @lyrakanefanatic, @mrswarnerxo

[dontexpectmuch]

hii im obsessed with your writing like pls send help-

i was wondering if you could write a lil fic abt Jude where he and the reader have like a rlly cute relationship and they have special daily things (kiss before he leaves, cuddles when watching movies, etc) but then Jude breaks up with her bc she's too 'needy' and then he regrets it bc he misses her antics and its just a whole lot of angst. no fluff, bc your sad stories with sad endings are to die for ✨❤

where did you go wrong? were you really that clingy, needy even? did he feel uncomfortable, like he didn’t have enough space?

were all the kisses fake, something he did to please you?

“‘m leaving!” he yelled, standing by the door with his bag on his shoulders, leaving for training.

hearing his voice, you moved to him to kiss him goodbye, lips already puckered as you angled your head up, his lips finally meeting yours.

“take care and text me if you need anything, yeah?” you asked him, smile reaching your eyes.

jude fought the urge to roll his eyes, what could he possibly need when he was at training? however, he just nodded, telling you he would before closing the door behind him.

or what about the sweet nothings he’d whisper in your ear when you were cuddling on your couch, watching his favorite show. the way he’d hold you close, drawing loose shapes on your waist as he looked at you, smiling softly.

“i love you, you know?” his voice was soft, suitable for the current vibe.

he came back from training, immediately closing his arms around your body. even though you didn’t live together officially, it surly felt like it, since you spent most of your time together in your flat.

“i love you too, jude.” you said, head leaning against his shoulder, eyes looking at his.

surly, you weren’t the only one in this relationship that liked to cling on to their partner, trying to be as close to them as possible. jude also always had to touch you somehow, wether it was your waist, your shoulder or even your pinky finger.

if that was the case, why did he want to end the relationship then? everything seemed to be fine, where did that come from all of a sudden?

jude looked at you with empty eyes, no smile on his face, like he lost an important game. but, that wasn’t the case. these last few games only ended with positive results for the team. so, why all of a sudden?

“we should break up.” he began, voice stoic, sending shivers down your spine.

“huh?” did you hear wrong? what was he talking about?

“‘m bein’ serious, i don’t feel like bein’ in a relationship with you anymore.” he continued, stabbing you in the heart with every word that left his lips.

you shook your head lightly, as if trying to wake yourself up this nightmare. “i don’t understand, why? did something happen?”

jude sighed, he knew that it wouldn’t be easy, you were always like that, questioning his any and every move. “i need space, and it seems like you don’t want to give me enough. always clingin’ onto me like your life depends on it, y’know?”

you would have never thought that jude, your sweet and considerate jude, could ever be able to hurt you like that, making you feel small and questioning your relationship in ways you never did before.

“but-“

“please, just accept it and let go, will you? i’ll get the rest of my stuff some other day.” he cut you off, patience running thin as he gets up and leaves your home without even bidding goodbye.

he just left you, broken hearted, tears running down your cheeks as you desperately tried to comprehend what just happened.

now, months passed by and you slowly but steadily moved on from the break up, going as far as to dating a few people here and there. still, the thought of being in another committed relationship made you shiver, the scars still too fresh.

you were once again in your flat, typing away on your laptop as the sudden noise of your doorbell pulled you out of your concentrated state. sighing, you leave your desk and move to the front door, opening it without checking first, a huge mistake.

there he stood, in all his pride, looking down at you with an uncertain look in his eyes. he was wearing some tracksuit and a beanie, maybe coming here after training. you wouldn’t know, however not knowing about his growing success wasn’t as easy as you thought.

while you tried your best to move on from jude, he made it quite hard for you. his face plastered on posters on the street, multiple pictures of him online on your feed and what not. it made you boil internally, mad at the universe for doing that to you.

“hey.” jude is the first to speak up, not being able to bear the awkward silence hovering between any longer.

“did you forget something here?” is all you reply, coldness radiating from you as you stood firmly on your spot.

what was he doing here?

“i miss you, i miss us.” he mumbled, face looking down, yet his eyes peaked though his lashes, scanning your face for any reaction to his words.

scoffing, you roll your eyes and try to close the door, however jude reacts fast and puts his foot between the frame and door, hindering you from hiding yourself from him.

“please,” he almost begs, desperation laced in his voice, “i was an idiot, i didn’t think clearly. i mistook your love for clinginess.”

“am i supposed to care?” you wanted to laugh.

did he really think you’d forgive him? after what he has put you through? you weren’t dumb nor blind, you have seem all the posts of him with various women in clubs or on the street, kissing, touching and much more.

“i’m not some bed warmer, jude. i won’t wait for you to play around a bit and then come back, especially not after how you ended things.” you tell him, eyes stern.

jude sighed, closing his eyes to compose himself before he spoke up, “i know, but i changed. after all this time i came to realize that i can’t do it without you, please, babe-“

“don’t call me that, i have a name, you know?” you interrupted, shaking your head, “don’t call me in general, jude. leave me alone.”

this time, you shut the door completely, turning your back and leaning against it as you inhaled deeply.

this is not how you imagined your saturday night to be like, but whatever.

though it hurt, rejecting the man that you once called the love of your life, you also felt really proud for staying true to yourself.

yes, you missed him, dearly, and seeing him again resurfaced some of the feelings you still had. but you proved to yourself that you were on the right path.

you were moving on.

————————————————

fuck sleep

[s0ulsniper]

Albert aretz x gn!reader

Request: "Babes I need a flamingo x reader with 2 and 17. The opportunity for fluff is so strong 😍😍🤞🏻🤞🏻"

prompts:

2- "It's so hard to sit here close to you and not kiss you."

17- "It's too cold ! Come back !"

word count: 567

ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩

it was a brutal time in the middle of November, snowing early, making it seem that Christmas would be a blizzard.

albert had taken you to a type of creator meet up, where they all had dinner and talked about video plans, collabs, and just having a good time.

you guys were seated in a both with kaden and jake, chatting when you made it in and sat down.

you could feel albert's hand resting on your thigh, reassuring you he's there.

"would you like anything to drink, y/n/n?" you suddenly hear him ask, and look over to see him leaning towards you.

"Um, I'll have a f/d, please." you reply nodding towards the waiter.

"and I'll just have a sprite, please." Albert answers.

through out the night, many people came over to greet your group, and talk but you also felt Albert tapping your knee in a rhythm or gently squeezing every now and again.

of course, albert let you know that you guys had to be a little professional because of the creators around, but it seemed he was starting to get more handsy the more time went on.

"dude, albert- we should all get on a horror game tomorrow. we haven't played all four of us in awhile."

you nod and Albert agrees, telling him tomorrow would be great.

"that would be fun, honestly the best part would be hearing Albert scream the whole game." you recall and they laugh at your remark, recalling all the time he did.

"like you're any better than me." albert jokes.

you roll yours eyes and continue on talking about what the game should be.

jake and kaden get up to go talk to a creator they fangirl over and it leaves just you and albert in the booth.

he turns to you,

"you know, it's so hard to sit here so close to you and not kiss you." he whispers against your ear, making sure you hear it with the loud volume of people around.

you feel your face get hot, the air around you becomes heavy, making Albert smile in satisfaction.

"glad my plan is working." you laugh, laying your head against his shoulder and flipping his hand from your thigh to intertwine your fingers.

he feels his heart short circuit, beaten at his own game.

"got nothing to say baby?" you ask and he opens his mouth to speak, but settles for getting revenge later.

you feel all of the f/d you've been chugging down, and decide to go to the restroom.

"Albert, hunny, let me get up. I need to go to the restroom."

you hear him groan and shake his head, his grip on your hand tighten.

"it'll be just a few minutes, I'm not going to run away." you reassure.

he whines but gets up a couple seconds later, his hand falling to your lower back to help you out.

"I already regret it." he shivers. "Come back, it's colddd."

you smile back at him and make your way to the bathroom, hurrying to make sure he doesn't freeze to death.

when you get back, jake and kaden are sat back in their booths, distracting Albert of his oh so terrible fate.

albert doesn't let go of you for the rest of the night, not caring if other people notice.

You're his and he loved to show it.

ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩

TAGS: @yeehawbrothers @ilovelyyoungie @dogdevourer

[bruh-2004]

MIND GAMES - KWAK JISEOK

Warnings: making out, swearing, explicit sex, a little drama.

Synopsis: you thought you had Gaon in your hands, you thought that when the moment came he would be your submissive and follow your orders, but when the moment arrived he made a point of making you regret all the mind games you played with him and all the the laughs he made finding it amusing.

! INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC.

FEMALE READER × DOM!JISEOK +18

Here you are, sitting on Gaon's lap, enjoying the touches he was giving to your body and the slow and captivating kiss you were sharing, you always let out a low moan when he slowly squeezed your waist. You swore you had him in your hands, you thought that when that moment came you would be in control, but now you realized that you were completely wrong, he has another side that you didn't know about.

You moaned again, after Gaon sucked your lower lip, he separated you looking into your eyes, with a winning smile, as if he was ready to deliver the final blow.

"Hearing your moan left me with an inflated ego, you really thought you would have me in your hands, didn't you?" - He asked you, stroking your waist through your blouse, you nodded, resting your hands on his shoulders.

"It was impossible not to think so, you were always quiet when I played with you, you did everything I told you, but we can still do it this way hmm" - You tried to kiss him, but he avoided it, leaving a strong grip on your waist.

He looked at you again and in a quick act he reversed positions, he laid you on the bed and was on top of you with a serious look and still with that smile.

"No, we're not going to do it your way... Don't you understand yet?" - He asked, leaving you confused. "I'm not your submissive, not anymore, I'm tired of being, I've always let you control me, I've cried because of you for playing with my feelings, making me jealous... I've waited a long time for this moment, to be alone With you, when I'm inside it will be a path of no return, I will transform your mind into my home."

You looked at him carefully, you felt the firmness in his voice, Gaon began to caress your body again, reaching your right thigh, placing it on your waist and pressing your private parts, you gasped and lowered it, making him giggle.

"What's wrong? The cat got your tongue?" - You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "You had so much fun playing your games, right? You laughed so much in my face... But, to your surprise, the last laugh will be mine, now it's you who will suffer with the mind games, until you lose control.

The brunette brought your lips together again, he was squeezing your thigh with desire, you wrapped your other leg around his waist and were putting your arms around your neck, but the boy quickly grabbed your arms, pinning them to the bed.

"Gaon... Please, let me touch you" - You said, too eager to move things forward, he shook his head, putting more pressure on your intimacy.

"Nothing like that, you won't touch me, you'll just feel the torture until you can't take it anymore and beg me to fuck you"

He moved away from you a little, taking off his shirt and pants, he looked at you seriously.

"Take off all your clothes, I don't want anything covering you" - You even considered the idea of ​​throwing a tantrum, but you needed him.

You took off your clothes, leaving you completely naked for the boy who smiled, he got on top of you again, running his hands all over your body, he squeezed every little part making you moan like a bitch. Gaon didn't hesitate, despite having the proposal to torture you, to touch your intimacy with his thumb, you held your breath.

"Jiseok, I know you want this as much as I do, put your finger in now" - He laughed at your authoritative tone, instead of sticking his finger in he just started to slowly stimulate your clitoris.

"There's no point in insisting, stop trying to be authoritarian" - You were going to object, but the stimuli became more present, the brunette was pressing your clitoris with desire and you felt like you were going to cum just from that.

He teased you, and how he teased you just by pressing and stimulating slowly, but finally he had given in, his finger going in and out of your vagina quickly, alternating in a slow rhythm, you didn't hold back your moans and you knew he was fighting hard to not fuck you all at once.

"That's it Gaon, keep it up... I'm almost there" - And you didn't lie, you were very close to cumming, Gaon realized that and when he saw that you were going to cum he stopped stimulating you, making you let out a groan of frustration.

"Poor thing, not today kitten, you're just going to cum on my dick"

He took his finger to his mouth, sucking them feeling the taste, his breathing was rapid, you already felt regret having played so many mind games with him. Gaon kissed you, it wasn't such a long kiss, he went down to your neck and breasts too, then he got up and removed your underwear.

"Come on, get on all fours, now" - You shivered and felt your pussy contract just hearing that, it didn't take long to do what he ordered.

He chuckled, you looked back and saw him pull you by the waist to the edge of the bed, he held your waist and placed his dick at your entrance, rubbing against each other slowly, threatening to enter, he got closer to your ear.

"Good, now I'm going to do what I said before, turn your mind into my home"

And that's what he did, slowly inserting his dick into your pussy, teasing you the whole time. One thing you couldn't deny, at the end of it all, you would be completely addicted to him.

[writingseaslugs]

Floyd Leech: Tsum Food

I regret nothing...

Disclaimer: All characters in this series is aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post.

Floyd Leech: Tsum Food

“Floyd!” You shouted from across the Octavinelle common room. Said man turned to look over at you, his jaw opened, and the poor little Tsumtsum that was modeled after him was held in his hands like a little sandwich. You felt like you were having some form of western standoff as you stood there frozen, not knowing how to go about this situation. You took one step closer and Floyd, in retaliation, brought the little Tsum closer to his mouth. Oh…he was playing that kinda game.

“Floyd…” Your voice wavered slightly as you took another step closer. The poor Tsum wiggled in Floyd’s grasp. You had a feeling if the creature had a mouth of its own, it would no doubt be biting Floyd back. Sadly, all it could do was squeeze him with his entire body. Despite its small size, the creature was strong when it squeezed. It had even squeezed in the short amount of time it had been on the campus. “Let the Tsum go….” You tried reasoning with the eel, but you knew the reason was a foreign concept to him.

“Eh, but Shrimpy, how else am I gonna know if he bleeds?” Floyd asked, and you were getting annoyed with him. Of course, he wanted to know if the other dimensional brick version of himself would bleed if he bit down.

“He is a living creature, Floyd, and you’re going to bite him like a sandwich to see if he bleeds?” You asked, taking another step closer to him. Floyd brought his arms just a little closer to his now-closed mouth. His eyes sparkled with mischievous intent, and you weren’t sure if he was fucking with you or not. “Floyd, that kills things.” You said with an exasperated sigh.

Floyd seemed to not have thought about that detail; if it did bleed, it would undoubtedly die if he put his maw around it. He slowly took the Tsum away from his mouth. The little thing wiggled its way out of his grasp and beelined to your arms in that short time frame. You let out a startled yelp as the Tsum went and began squeezing your midsection with all its might, trying to get away from the big version of him.

You managed to wrangle it into your arms where it seemed content to be…and he really did remind you of Floyd with how docile he was in your arms. “Awe, is Shrimpy stealing my Tsumtsum?” Floyd all but sang as he began walking closer to you, “No fair, give him back; I wasn’t done playing with him.”

Now you find yourself in the reverse situation as before. Every time he took a step closer, you took a single one back. “No, you’ve lost Tsum privileges when you tried to eat him.” You said, ready to book it at the first opening you had. Thankfully you were closer to the door with it right behind you, while Floyd had to cover a little bit of ground before reaching you. Sadly, the boy was all legs and could cross it within a few steps.

“Don’t be like that, Shrimpy; we can play together,” Floyd said with a frown now forming on his face. You decide to use one of your last resorts. You glanced over at the window frantically, and it piqued Floyd’s interest as he turned to see what you were looking at. The moment he was turned, you bolted through the door. You could hear Floyd’s whine as he realized you tricked him before thundering footsteps were behind you.

You did try to make a run for it in your defense. Sadly, Floyd was way faster than you ever could have predicted. It’s not like this was your first time running from him, but this was the first time he actually wanted to catch you. You felt his long arms wrap around your waist and hoist you into his arms. You kicked your legs uselessly while the Tsumtsum in your arms made a small whining noise at being squished by both you and Floyd now.

“Damn it, Floyd, who told you to have such long legs?” You complained, finally giving up your attempt at escaping his arms. It was useless, and the more you wiggled, the harder he was squeezing your waist. You sighed in annoyance until you felt his breath ghosting over your neck as he began laughing.

“So cute, Shrimpy, but you know you can’t escape me, right?” He asked; Floyd began walking through the dorm hallways until he came over to his bedroom. He kicked the door open, and you noticed a distinct lack of Jade in the room. You already knew this was going to end badly for you, “Now you get to play with little Floyd and me.” He teased.

“Oh sevens, don’t call the Tsumtsum little Floyd; that’s wrong on so many levels.” You groaned, being tossed onto his bed. Floyd snickered as the Tsumtsum went out of your hands and began running around the room excitedly. Who knew what Floyd had in store for you now.

“Why not? I think it’s fun!” Floyd said; the Tsum ran past him, and he snatched it up in one hand and brought it closer to your face. The Tsum latched on, making you squeal as you fell onto his bed, “You know, if you don’t let me bite little Floyd, then imma have to chomp on you.” Floyd said, coming closer with a sinister look on his face. In that moment, you knew you fucked up.

“Don’t you da-ack!” you cried, feeling Floyd grab your leg and lift it up. You cursed yourself for wearing shorts as he decided to bite down on your calf. Not hard enough to cause some serious damage, but enough for it to hurt like hell. You tried kicking him in the face and only succeeded in kicking his chest. You went over and inspected the damage done to your poor calf, seeing there were just angry red indents since he didn’t break the skin but got pretty damn close to it.

“Asshole.” You cried out, and Floyd just shrugged before going back to grab at your leg. Then your savior came in; Jade opened the door to his dorm, and Floyd looked over to see his twin brother just as your foot made contact with his jaw. Floyd cried out, toppling over and rubbing his poor jaw before breaking into laughter.

“What have I walked into?” Jade asked, and you decided now was your chance to escape. You bolted up, Tsumtsum in hand, and rushed for Jade.

“Jade, if you distract him, I’ll try whatever non-poisonous mushroom you want later!” You shouted, dashing past him. Apparently, that promise seemed to work as Jade put his arm over the door frame when Floyd tried to chase you.

Floyd whined before shouting, “I’ll catch you later, Shrimpy~” When did your life become so hectic?

[instexcamera]

Hi UM can I request some brat!Natsume x dom!reader punishing with one of those fuck machines and degrading him until he's mindbroken?

Have a great day

Ooo my first request, and of course!

Brat!Natsume x GN Dom!Reader

Warnings: Overstimulation, Sub character, Degradation

Note: I'm sorry it took a little while to make this, I'm sick currently but I tried my best to get it out fast. I also hope you enjoy it as I tried my best with it but brats are hard to write for me hhh. I also hope I did Natsume justice as I have never written him.

18+ Under the Cut

Low whirring sounds flow from the machine as it fucks into Natsume at a slow pace. Even though it was set on the lowest setting you had to keep one hand on Natsume's knee, forcing him to keep his legs spread open. He gazes at you defiantly, a smug smirk on his lips. The urge to wipe that look off his face fills you, this was supposed to be a punishment for his jealously, he shouldn't still be acting so disobedient. The only cracks in his facade are the small shivers that run though his body every time the toy thrusts deep, or how he has to hold himself back from making noises.

"You're failING, what type of punishment is thiS? It's not working on meeah-" He cuts off with an unwanted moan as you had had enough of his teasing, choosing to turn the machine up to its highest level for a moment to shut him up. It works as Natsume's legs start to tremble more frequently and his eyes roll to the back of his head, his mouth opening slighty. You divulge in the sight for a moment before returning the machine back to its slow pace. Natsumes eyes going back to normal as his body relaxes, his expression now one of annoyance.

"I didn't actually enjoy thaT, I faked it for your own amuseMENT. " Staring at him for a second, noticing how he acts like this isn't affecting him. Yet those small signs are still noticeable no matter how much he tries to not let them show. You can feel his thighs still trembling ever so slightly underneath your fingertips, the way his face is starting to become a flushed red color. But you decide you'll play his little game, if he wants to act like a brat he can be treated like one.

Turning the machine off and removing your hand from him, he has nothing to gain any sort of friction now and annoyance shows on his face. Now that all stimulation was gone from him he was completely at your mercy, even more so than before. His cock, you realize dripping precum, the tip a deep red color. He wanted to cum you could tell but his pride of not wanting to be caught begging was winning, however you would change that before long. Leaning over him, and using your hand to grab his cheeks, forcing him to look you directly in the eyes.

"If you want more, beg. I already know you're just a pleasure loving slut who just can't take it when my attentions on another guy that isn't you. So come on, beg, don't be shy, you weren't earlier when you cussed out Tsumugi were you?"

Tsumugi was the reason he was like this in the first place, he couldn't handle seeing you give him a kiss on the cheek. You knew that Natsume's relationship with him wasn't the best, but he still somewhat liked Tsumugi, but that kiss seemed to have went too far for him. Natsume looks as if he regrets it now, deciding between if he wants to keep his pride up or be able to cum.

You pull your hand away from him and his face drops as he seemly stares down at his stomach, his shirt pushed up around his waist. It's not too long before you hear some mumbling coming from Natsume, his hands clenched tightly together. "I'm a jealous slut only for yoU, and I constantly want my hole to be filled with your cocK." Moving back down to be right next to him you whisper "Can you repeat that? I didn't hear you." He immediately turns to look at you as those words leave you, "I know you diD, your just enjoying thiS." His golden brown eyes continue to glare at you for a few more seconds until he finally gives up, realizing that he won't gain any touch unless he says it louder.

"I'm just a jealous dirty sluT, I can't handle not being filled and I need yoU-" Your finger presses down the button that makes the machine start up, at full force. Natsume, not thinking you'd start it while he was talking taken by surprise. His head bangs back onto the headboard and you feel bad about it only for a moment. His eyes start to unfocus and his body rocks back and forth from the force of the machine. His legs start to close and your quick to push them down, you can feel his muscles straining underneath your hands. The slapping sound from the machine meeting his ass isn't loud enough to block the high pitched whines leaving Natsume as the toy rams into his prostate over and over.

Natsume's precum is dripping down his cock in larger amounts, and the way his body strains against the machine and the increasing pitch of his moans signals he's close. Thinking of stopping the machine right before he orgasms takes form but is quickly pushed away when his moans reach a beautiful crescendo. You feel his thighs start to tremble more violently and a second later long white ropes of cum spurt out of his cock, landing on his chest, and dripping down to his stomach.

Letting go of his thighs and sliding your hand up his body, not bothering to slow the machine as it continues to thrust into him as forcefully as it can. Feeling his body twitch with the aftershocks of his orgasm, and the constant movement from the machine you gather some of his spend on your fingertips. You bring your fingers up to his lips and slip them past his open mouth. His eyes are glazed over likely from the after effects from his orgasm but you expect over stimulation to kick in soon. You watch as his mouth closes around your fingers, sucking his own cum off of them.

His eyes move to meet yours and you slide your fingers out of his mouth so he could speak. "Why aren't you stopping iT? It hurTS, it hurts so gooD." His voice comes out in different pitches, the machines thrusting starting to affect him more than you thought as overstimulation starts to kick in. You only smile at him as you let the machine keep up its pace, he deserved to be over stimulated. Broken moans fall from his lips as you look down towards the machine, realizing that Natsume's cock is still hard dispite cumming a minute ago.

"You're still hard? You must be more of a whore than I thought, but that's fine, I'll give you more pleasure than your body can handle." Natsume's response is pained whimpers, but you don't want him too fucked out of his mind just yet, he still had to answer some questions. Turning the machine down to a medium setting so pleasure is always present, you hear him let out a relieved moan, yet his body still twitches from deep thrusts onto his prostate.

Grabbing his cheeks once again, you force his head to turn to look at you. His eyes are starting glaze over and his mouth hangs over ever so slightly. However he quickly attempts to looks serious. "You want to apologize to me for interrupting my conversation with Tsumugi with your jealousy? I let you have an orgasm, not that you deserved it." He quickly sneers at you, however the effect doesn't work as well as he hopes with the position he's in. "I don't have to apologize for anythING. Tsumugi didn't care anywaYS, and I was not jealOUS." You sigh, of course he wouldn't admit it that easily, however you could get him too.

You wonder if causing him to orgasm over and over would make him admit it, he would enjoy it no matter how much he may deny it. He already looks on the verge of another, however the amount of stimulation he's getting not enough to push him over the edge just yet. Running your hand down his chest towards his cock, taking it in your hand, starting to jerk him off slowly. The feeling causes him to bite his lip as he glares at you, you'll try again to get to him to answer in a way you want. "I know you're just a jealous slut who only wants my attention you even admitted it, so why won't you say it again?" He stays quiet, you could see shame run through his eyes at your words, he knows you're right, he just wants to be difficult.

You could feel him twitch in your hand, your words turning him on more than he wanted to admit. "Oh, I feel your cock begging for release in my hand, even if you don't admit it yourself your body clearly knows how much of a jealous cock hungry bitch you are. " He still doesn't respond, choosing to continue biting his lip. You'd get him to admit it again. Turning the machine to high once again, not having any plan to turn it down this time until he's begging you, you'd break his stubborn behavior by having him too drunk on pleasure.

Natsume stops biting his lip immediately, the pleasure overtaking him, his head once again knocks back, his body starting to rock roughly again. You watch as his stomach visibly clenches and you feel his cock once again release. His whines filling the air, almost louder than the slapping sounds echoing throughout the room. There's not as much of the sticky white fluid this time as it mixes with his last spend with more soon to join it.

You smirk as you let go of his cock, still painfully hard as small amounts of cum dribble out of his angry red tip. You move towards his head, watching the flush on his face spread down to his chest as his body starts to tremble even more violently from the aftershocks. "Too mucH, too mucH." His eyes have tears in them as he stares at you, however they're becoming more unfocused by the second, you just smile down at him. His hands grip the bed sheets as his back arches, his eyes widening a little as another orgasm takes him by surprise. Laughing a little at his reaction you wonder if you've been successful in fucking his brattiness out of him.

"Are you sorry about interrupting me? Are you going to say you're a dumb attention whore? You must already know that I'm right, your little mind can't seem to comprehend anything but reaching your next orgasm right now." Natsume can't even turn to look at you as he nods, the overstimulation muddling his mind up. "I'm sorRY, I'm sorRY. I'm a dumb jealous slut who can't do anything but think about cummING." You laugh a little to yourself, he looks absolutely ruined now that he finally admitted it. He didn't even look like he comprehended what he said, his mind to hazed over by the continuous thrusting.

"You finally admitted it, and all it took was having a machine fuck you stupid. Doesn't this just prove what you said?" He nods along to what you're saying, and increasingly loud whines leave him as he cums again, less than last time, you wonder how many more he can take before nothing comes out anymore.

You make no move to slow down the machine, only running your hand across his forehead, wiping his bangs away that are stuck there. He doesn't seem to be able to form coherent sentences anymore, much less thoughts, only small I'm sorrys leaving him. His cock still hard, sways back and forth with his body from the machines continuous thrusting. You decide to see how much more he can take before either shooting blanks or passing out.

You wonder how he'll act when he comes back to his senses, how pissed he'll be. You know he won't be able to walk tomorrow from how hard you have this machine fucking into him. But for now you can only watch as the machine fucks into him.

[nomi-c]

Teach me

{Hyunjin x Reader}

Part two

Word count: 2,8 k

Genre: Smut, Fingering (f. Receiving), Pet names (sweetheart, Darling)

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This Story isn't supposed to represent Hyunjin in any kind or way, this is purely fictional.

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"Did you study for the test?" Your best friend Chae-Won asks as she opens her locker to store her bag inside of it.

Thinking back about Yesterday's intense study session with Hyunjin you feel your cheeks heat up and a ton of butterflies in your stomach.

Hiding your head in your locker to hide the evidence of your emotional chaos, you pretend to seach for a book to read in the lunchtime.

"I did a intense study session yesterday." You tell Chae-won and regret your choice of words right instantly as vivid images of that said 'study session' came back to live behind your eyes.

You quickly grab your water bottle that you took out of the locker and take a big gulp to still the thirst you have.

not that it would help with the kind of thirst you're feeling right now though...

"Weren't you at hyunjins place yesterday?" Your best friend asks you casually.

Your eyes widen and you regret mentioning it yesterday to her. "Ah yes I was, but it was the usual. He was gaming and I was studying for the test." You inform her.

A little lie between the lines wouldn't make you feel bad about yourself, right?

You know it does, so you take a deep breath and turn towards your best friend. "Actually-"

Before you can say anything more you hear the loud cheers and little whispers indicating that the schools bad boys and heartthrobs arrived in the corridor.

As they walk past the crowded hallways, every of their movement gets monitored by the other students which was nothing new.

After closing your locker, you turn back around just in time to see the boys passing by you. Hyunjins gaze connects with yours right instantly, and you feel the all too well known butterflies in your stomach just as every time you lock eyes with him.

Everything is the same as always, except that this time the intensity of his fiery gaze makes your heart rate go crazy and you feel as if you were struck by a lightning accompanied by a strong throbbing feeling right between your legs.

Your mouth feels dry and is slightly agape just by a mere look of him, you feel bolts of electricity everywhere he glances on your face. When his eyes dart on your lips and down to your neck, the heat gets unbareable and you press yourself ashamed against your open locker, your legs closed shut.

Right as hyunjin passes you, you see a slight mischievous smirk form on his beautiful face.

Slight anger takes a hold of you as soon as his back is turned towards you, combined with embarrassment by the fact that hyunjin knows exactly what he does to you and how he makes you feel with a simple glance.

You open your locker again annoyed and after quicky taking the books for the first and second period, you close it and follow the backs of the 8 boys until they dissappear in their classroom.

chae-won turns towards you as you make your way to your first class of the day.

"Mind telling me what that was about?" She asks you with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh don't even ask." You tell her hoping that she will let it slide. As you now set foot in your shared class for the first and second period.

After taking your seats in she instantly turns around to you. "I'll let it go for now because we need to focus on the test, but don't think I won't make you tell me later."

You sigh, knowing you need to find a really good explanation for your earlier slip up with hyunjin.

Before you can respond, your teacher enters the room with a big smile and clap. "Hello hello, Good morning guys, have you learned well for the test?" She asked the quiet class excited, but only got frustrated mumbling in return.

Your teacher sighed dissapointed while she prepared the tests to hand them out. "Well, that's not what I wanted to hear, but we have to write it anyways."

A little ashamed you had to admit that thanks to hyunjins 'help' you actually had a easy time to fill out the exam due to your new found knowledge about this particular subject.

When it was finally time to hand them over to the teacher and the bell started ringing, Miss Kang made the class quiet once again.

"Guys, since you all know that I won't be here for quite some time, I'm going to correct the exam today. Meaning you'll get them back right before lunch. I'll see you guys in 4th period." Miss kang dismisses us with a smile and a wave of her hand.

Packing up your stuff a hand collides on your desk, raising your heartbeat and almost causing you to jump. "Now tell me everything Y/n!"

You hold your hand on your chest, trying to steady your heart and breath. "Jesus Chae won! If you give me a heart attack I can't tell you anymore..." you give her a stern expression while attempting for a second time to pack your bag. Your best friend rolls her eyes. "Don't be dramatic Y/n, I don't want to push you again to tell me." She tells you leaving the 'but still I will' part unsaid.

You take a deep breath and stand up from your table "Hyunjin was playing games again yesterday." You begin to say and pull your bagpack over your shoulder. "I already know that! And?" Chae won interrupts you impatient.

"Well, he saw me freaking out because I couldn't get it in my head... and you know he's the best in every class." Chae won spins around and stares at you with big eyes, her mouth hanging open a slight bit.

"OH STOP! YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME THAT-" you quickly cover her mouth and look around you, noticing a bunch of students eying you interested in your best friends reaction.

"If you want me to keep telling you, you better tone down!" You hiss at her quietly and bow down to apologise.

"I'm sorry, she's crazy don't mind us." She rolls her eyes at your apology and bumps your shoulder a little too hard.

You collide with something hard and when you look up, you see its your brother. "Oh my god I'm so sorry minho!" Chae won calls out, her cheeks getting slight tints of pink when she looks up at him.

You smirk when you realize she has a crush on your brother, not understandable to you but an advantage in your favor.

"Minho, you and chae-won have to go the same way. Why don't you accompany her to her class?" You suggest with still the same smirk plastered on your face.

Chae-Won turns incredibly shy, and minho scratches his head awkwardly.

Don't tell me that....

Your emergency solution turned out to become a cupids job. You have to hide a giggle as you pat your brothers shoulder before you quickly leave them behind.

Once you are out of their hearing range you burst out into a giggle, some students stare at you confused and others like you're crazy but you don't care.

Mid walking the door to the janitors room opens quickly and you get grabbed and pulled inside in a heart beat. Before you can scream, you get pressed against the closed door and a hand flies over your mouth.

Your eyes connect with all too well known devilish brown eyes. Once he's sure you won't scream anymore he drops his hand, and a gorgeous smile appears on his face.

"How was the test sweetheart?" He asks in a silky voice, as he leans closer to you.

You get awfully aware of the close proximity between you, his alluring scent causing goosebumps all over you. His breath mixes with yours when he leans his forehead against yours, strands of his soft hair falling onto your face.

"Was it good?" He whispers in a rough and low voice.

You feel him taking a hold of your right hand softly, and a unbearable heat starts to pool between your legs. You close your eyes shut and nod your head as response.

He breathlessly laughs while his hand travels up your arm and neck sensually, causing you to breathe erratically. "Words sweetheart." He said moving a slight bit closer to you, your noses touching now.

You bite your lip and press your legs together hard to ease a little of the immense need you're feeling inside of you. "Y-yes."

His knee slides between your legs slowly. "I really hope you pass because I need to call you mine." He says roughly breathing.

His thumb finds your lips and he softly starts stroking them. "I really want to kiss you right now love." His body presses against yours yours now, his slightly moving leg causes you let your head fall back as a little whimper leaves your lips.

"Do it." You whisper, while pushing your hips forward to relief the heavy pressure on your core a bit.

A low growl leaves hyunjins lips and his hand travels on your neck, pulling your face impossibly closer towards him. Your lips touch in a feathery soft kiss for a second before he starts speaking again.

"If i kiss you now, i might not be able to stop." He warns you with a need in his voice that resembles your own.

You open your eyes enough to look in his dark lust laced eyed for a second, and take a fist full of his grey hoodie. "Please."

Hyunjins lips crash into yours in light speed in a hot and passionate kiss.

His hands travel down your legs, as his tongue fiercely asks for access to your mouth. You Instantly allow him in and take a firm hold of his hair which makes hyunjin moan.

He pulls you up by the hip, and presses his hardness against your clothed core. Another whimper leaves your lips.

A loud bell echoes through the school, Indicating that the first break is over.

Hjunjins lips wander down your neck, where he finds your sensitive spot with ease.

He slightly starts nibbling on your skin, sucking and licking on your sensitive skin.

"H-hyunjin, the bell...." you start but get Interupted by another flick of his tongue and roll of his hips.

Hyunjin growls again, sucking even harder on your hot skin. "Fuck the bell." In a swift motion he removes your shirt, leaving you in your Lace bra and a pair of black pants.

When you softly feel his teeth grace your neck, a moan leaves your lips. "B-but-" another roll of his hips interrupts your already clouded thoughts.

Your hands wander under his hoodie, your hands slowly making their way up and down his toned body.

Something evil crosses your mind, as a smirk starts to form on your lips.

Under your feathery touch you can feel goosebumps appear under your fingertips. Your index finger draws a straight line down his abdomen till it reaches the hem of his jeans, daring to travel further down to the button of his pants. When you're almost there, his hand flies over yours to stop you on your tracks.

A deep shiver takes a hold of hyunjin, when he holds your hand secured in place. The pulsating you feel there for sure doesn't help you to stay true to your plan.

When you lock eyes with him again, they are fully black and filled with a burning hot almost animalistic desire. "Don't push my buttons, Darling."

Your smirk grows even bigger. "Try to stop me then." You say at the same moment, your hand easily opens the button.

Still looking into his eyes, you see the rest of his self control slip and before you registister his lips are all over you in a burning need.

Between his hot kisses you feel him rip your bra off with force. With a slight tud it lands in a random corner of the tiny room and his greedy lips cover your chest in small pecks and kisses. When his tongue graces over your perked nipples, your free hand grips his hair tightly.

You arch your back from the sheer pleasure you feel burning through your veins. Between heavy pants, you manage to speak. "N-need you...now."

Your hand that still rests on his opened jeans, finds its way into his pants. Through the thin fabric of his boxershorts, you feel his hard erection against your palm.

One of Hyunjins hands that still rests on your thigh, takes a hold of your Jeans to grip it. "Off." He demands, as he lets you glide back down to your wobbly feets.

Right instantly, you undo your pants and let them slide down your legs. You feel his hot gaze on you with every slight movement of your body.

His fingers hook into the hem of your panties, as he pulls you right against him. His right arm snakes around you, as you the fingers of his left hand dip into your panties sensually.

Your hands grip his hoodie in fists and a choked moan leaves your lips, when his finger glides down your folds and enters you effortlessly. "H-hyunjin..."

His hot breath tickles down your neck when he speaks. "Say you're mine." He demands, leaving hot kisses up your neck.

You feel immense heat rise up within you more and more with each second. "Mine only." He moans against your neck, when your hand starts palming his Dick through his pants. You already feel a slight wet spot form on his boxers, which makes you squirm against him in anticipation.

He presses you against the door again, and lifts you up once again. His lips move their way up to your lips where he kisses you in a way, you've never been kissed before. "Please..." He almost begged in a whisper as a second finger entered you.

Your heart starts beating wildly in your chest as wild joy and lust explode in you on the same time. "I'm yours, hyunjin." You whisper, as you feel your walls spasm around his restless fingers.

That's all he needed to hear. His lips crash on yours instantly, in his kiss lay many emotions. The unstoppable love he feels for you, the hunger deep inside of him, the need, the certaincy that you like him too.

His thumb works on your sensitive bud now too in circling motions, as his other hand removes your hand from his pants. With each thrust of his long fingers, you feel yourself getting closer and closer. Your hips shamelessly grind against his hands as loud moans leave your lips.

Both of you breathe erratically and when his ringfinger enters you too, you can't keep your voice anymore. Loud moans of his name leave your lips with each thrust, the tension building up in light speed.

"H-hyunjin..... Close..." you manage to moan out panting, your hands travel under his hoodie again and scratch his back forcefully.

Hyunjins head leans against yours breathlessly. "God, Y/n. You're so tight and warm." He whispers as a throaty moan leaves his full lips.

He leaves little kisses on your lips before he backs up to look into your flushed and most likely fucked out face. His thrusts become slow but heavy, casually grazing the spot that makes you want to scream his name when he looks into your eyes with deep adoration.

"I-I love you." He whispers in your ear as his fingers coil inside of you and hit that one spot with force. Everything around you turns to stars, as you get heavyily shaken by the unbelivable orgasm that takes a hold of you.

Hyunjins lips attack yours again, to muffle down the scream that leaves your lips uncontrolled while your walls contract heavily around his fingers.

His tongue finds yours as his fingers slowly ride you through your high. When both your breathing calmed down a little, he carefully removed his fingers.

Uncertainty hits you, and you hide your face in hyunjins neck. Not knowing if what he said was only a heat of the moment thing.

"I love you too." You whisper in a shaky voice, while drawing small circles on his back.

Hyunjins eyes find you in an instant, his lips slightly agape. Before he can reply, your phone buzzes in your pants somewhere on the floor.

Hyunjin sets you down to the floor softy and you quickly crouch down to check out the new message, as a smirk starts to form on your lips. "Chae-won just texted me saying that I passed." You inform him, feeling joy well up inside of you.

Hyunjins face lights up with a smug expression. "I knew you would, after all you had the best teacher." He tells you before giving you a soft kiss.

A soft smile appears on your face. "Best teacher and smartest boyfriend."