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strangerthings4theories · 3 years

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Mirror Images: Billy And El Are Reflections Of Each Other

As you read this post, hold the following concepts in your mind: yin and yang in Chinese philosophy. The Light Side and Dark Side in Star Wars. The real world and the Upside Down in Stranger Things.

That, my friends, is the level of thematic significance the Duffers are giving Billy and El. And it’s my top reason for believing Billy will come back.

Why?

El is arguably the main character of the show. Any character who’s linked to her so profoundly will be a Big Fuckin’ Deal.

You cannot, CANNOT, create such a consistent dynamic by accident, which tells me that...

...the Duffers have huge intentions for Billy. He will become more significant to the show, not less! If you think he’ll return just for flashbacks or memories, you’re not thinking big enough.

Buuuut I’m getting ahead of myself. First let me show you what I mean when I say Billy and El are mirror images. It’s pretty mind-blowing...

1) The broad strokes of Billy and El’s lives echo each other: their family backgrounds, their traumas, and their journeys in the show.

>>They’ve suffered under abusive fathers. In fact, in S2 they have encounters with their fathers in back-to-back episodes - El with Brenner in episode 7, Billy with Neil in episode 8.

Both fathers are likened to the Mind Flayer in the power they wield over their children. In episode 7, El’s hallucination of Brenner tells her she has a “wound... growing and festering” (my paraphrase), a clear reference to the tunnels of the Upside Down. Kali, as the creator of the hallucination, is trying to tell El that he is the source of the wound, and El won’t heal until she’s confronted him.

In episode 8, the title card “The Mind Flayer” opens on Neil driving back to the Hargrove house, implying he’s the real Mind Flayer in Billy’s life. As I’ve argued elsewhere, Billy won’t heal either until he’s confronted Neil.

>>Billy and El lost their mothers because of their fathers. Brenner fried Terry's brain with electricity for daring to defy him. Billy's mother left for an unknown reason, but we’re led to believe she couldn’t take Neil’s abuse anymore. The way she's presented in Billy's memories leads me to believe she has since passed away.

Billy and El are both devastated by their losses. When El tells Billy at Starcourt, “[Your mother] was pretty,” she’s trying to tell him she understands.

>>Billy and El have “adopted” sisters, Max and Kali. Max represents Billy's better nature; Kali represents El's darker nature. In the same season where Billy constantly insists Max isn't his sister - thereby rejecting her - El finds Kali and embraces her. This symbolizes Billy and El’s complementary journeys: Billy is learning to accept his light while El is learning to accept her darkness.

>>Billy and El are wounded and angry because of what’s happened to them. In S1 El worries she's a monster, and in S2 she nearly kills a man in her anger, only to stop herself at the last second (against the wishes of Kali, her darker nature). Billy lets his rage define him. He's turned into a bully over his teen years, and in S2 he nearly kills Steve. Max (his better nature) stops him.

>>Billy and El are viscerally connected to the Upside Down.

The Upside Down is pursuing El. We’re not sure why yet, but their predator/prey dynamic is the main source of conflict in the show. Brenner says to her in S1, “It [the Upside Down] is reaching out to you ‘cause it wants you. It’s calling you. So don’t turn away from it this time.” His words form the backbone of the narrative:

In S1, El opens the first Gate, introducing the Upside Down to our world and setting the events of the show in motion. At the climax, she defeats the Demogorgon, the Mind Flayer's first servant.

S2 deals with the evolving consequences of El opening the first Gate. At the climax, El closes the Gate (symbolically “turning away" from the Upside Down) and catches the Mind Flayer's attention in the process.

In S3, the Mind Flayer comes after El to kill her. She runs from him, and her friends intervene to save her.

In future seasons, the Mind Flayer will regroup and try again but to corrupt her this time, not kill her. The climax of the entire show will hinge on the resolution of their conflict. El will be forced to stop running and face the Mind Flayer head-on.

In S3, Billy is caught by the Mind Flayer and turned into his instrument to hunt El down. This creates a yin/yang situation where Billy and El are revolving around each other, with the Mind Flayer in the center pulling on them both. At Starcourt, El saves Billy's soul by bypassing the Mind Flayer completely - building “the rainbow bridge.”

If you remember that Brenner and Neil, their abusive fathers, are likened to the Mind Flayer, their interaction becomes the story of Billy re-enacting his trauma, and El helping him heal it.

2) Runaway Max gives us a special case of Billy and El mirroring each other.

In S1, one of El's biggest moments happens in episode 6. Mike and Dustin have been cornered by the bullies Troy and James. Right when all hope is lost, El shows up and breaks Troy’s arm. After that, she confesses tearfully, “The gate. I opened it. I'm the monster.” This brings forward her inner struggle - am I a monster for the things I do? - which she will no doubt revisit in future seasons.

Keep in mind that Troy is around 12 years old, and El breaks his right arm.

Jump forward to S2. At one point, Billy complains, “Yeah, we're stuck here [in Hawkins]. And whose fault is that?” - implying it's somehow Max's. She disagrees. “Yours,” she mutters under her breath.

In the show, we never get an explanation. Runaway Max tells us everything.

Back in California, Billy is spiraling deeper and deeper into a pit of rage. One fateful afternoon, he takes it out on Max and her best friend Nate, a 12-year-old boy. When Max resists him, he seizes Nate's right arm and twists it behind his back. He holds it there, watching Max.

“What are you going to do?” he asks, a crazed look in his eyes.

When she does nothing, he breaks Nate's arm.

The fallout is catastrophic. Within weeks, Neil decides they should all move away from California for the good of the family.

Now think about this. El breaks a 12-year-old boy's right arm to save her friends from bullies. Billy breaks a 12-year-old boy's right arm... because he is the bully.

It’s part of the wider pattern: El is light, Billy is darkness.

3) The Duffers use physical markers to underscore Billy and El’s similarities.

>>When the MF wrecks Billy's car, Billy's forehead smashes into the windshield, leaving a gash. At Starcourt, he slams El into the wall, giving her a wound in the same spot. Thematically, their wounds tell the story of Billy suffering abuse, then turning around and inflicting it on El. He’s perpetuating a cycle, and it’s up to him to stop it.

>>Both Billy and El are limping by the time they reach Starcourt. El's leg is injured from the Mind Flayer, while Billy injures his in the car crash. These wounds tell the story of El, the “innocent,” suffering pain through no fault of her own while Billy, the “guilty” one, is being punished for his crimes. (I put those words in quotes because I believe the show will challenge our assumptions.)

A sad footnote: El has Max and Mike to help her walk. Billy has no one.

>>In S2, Billy gets a nosebleed out of the same nostril as El. This says a LOT, marking him as a future “superhero” and putting him in the same class as El, Kali, and El's mom Terry.

Off the top of my head, only two other characters get nosebleeds, Mayor Kline and Steve. But the blood never comes cleanly out of one nostril the way it does with El. I believe that was a purposeful design choice to avoid muddying the symbolic waters.

...

Y’all, I’ve already hit my picture limit for a single post, and I’m not even done yet :p So I’ll stop there for now. Eventually I’ll show you how El is connected to the Demogorgon in the same strange way as Billy.

You see what I mean though? There is no fuckin’ way Billy is dead for good. Why would the Duffers give him this much resonance with El, then drop him?

It makes no sense.

If you ask me, they’ve got plans for our boy. World-altering plans. He’s not just coming back; by the end of the show, he’s gonna be a Big Goddamn Hero.

»»————-　✼　————-««

Billy Is Alive - A Meta Series

#billy hargrove #el hopper #billy hargrove is alive #stranger things theory #stranger things analysis #neil hargrove #martin brenner #terry ives #billy hargrove's mother #kali prasad #max mayfield #nothin' but parallels all the way down

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oldfritz · 3 years

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I'm genuinely curious and don't want to start something! Just wanted to ask what you make of the 'Old Fritz might've been asexual' take, I don't know much about him and I feel you're one of the best people to ask esp since you lean towards 'he was probably queer in some way' too

Hey there! So, first off, don’t ever worry about me interpreting you asking me a question as starting something. As much as I love making dumb jokes about the guy, I love nothing more than doing this kind of stuff and defending or explaining my points. There’s two degrees I want to get over the next decade: first my JD and then my MA in Prussian history. I live for this stuff! Always have! Second off, I’m very sorry for not getting to this sooner. Things have been incredibly stressful for me for a variety of different reasons which have made answering your question, until now, rather difficult. Putting this under a cut because, holy shit, it got long!

My personal reasoning for why I think he’s bi (which, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m assuming is what you meant instead of ace and could be a different post entirely since some historians have tried to argue that) stems more to do with some of my lingering questions about the nature of his relationships with certain woman, rather than that of his relationships with men. To me and my modern, queer eye, Fritz’s relationships with men like Hans Hermann von Katte, Francisco Algarotti, Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, and (much to my personal vexation) one Monsieur Voltaire are either outright homosexual/homoerotic in nature or very, very easily lend themselves to that interpretation rather than strictly romantic friendships (which Wikipedia does a fairly good overview of and, if you’re coming to me from AmRev perspective, uses Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship as a familiar example). While I’m avoiding those relationships in this ask, I’d be more than happy to elaborate upon one/all of them in a different one.

Before I go into the big pauses that Fritz’s relationships with Madame von Wreech and Countess Orzelska give me, I want to deny the use of Fritz’s wife as an example of Fritz’s attraction to woman. While this, admittedly, may sound odd, we have ample evidence of how turned off and repulsed Fritz found Elisabeth Christine. Before he had even met her, Fritz was complaining about how she was ‘not very pretty, speaks but little, and acts like a blockhead’ (Asprey, 87) and, later, admitted to Grumbkow his plan to ‘keep my word,...get married, but afterwards it will be a case of that is that, and goodbye, Madame, and fare thee well’ (Jones, 52). For Christ’s sake, the man pitied her knowing how his treatment would leave her as ‘one more unhappy princess in the world’! Which is little consolation when you remember he also referred to her with such romantic terms as ‘this unpleasant creature,’ ‘the abominable object of my desires,’ ‘the person,’ and claimed to have preferred to marry ‘the biggest whore in Berlin’ (Asprey, 87). And while we (fortunately? unfortunately?) know quite a bit about their sex life, Fritz largely regarded it as just another duty - to quote him, ‘I will only have the duty to fuck’ (Ibid, 87). And while Seckendorf heard - first, presumably from Count von der Schulenburg and, later on, Count Friedrich von Wartensleben, a close and intimate friend of the then-crown prince - that Fritz would ‘fuck and refuck’ Elisabeth Christine and that said act occurred in the afternoon, it still was out of a sense of obligation (Bely, 481-2). When reminded that if he wanted more money for frivolities, he’d need to produce an heir, Fritz bemoaned that he ‘cannot sleep with my wife out of desire, and when I do sleep with her, I do it out of duty rather than inclination’ (Clark, 50). All this in accumulation, as well as the myriad of other quotes and incidents I’ve left out, makes one wonder why his relationship with Elisabeth Christine is sometimes used by historians to prove any sort of heterosexual impulse in the man when she’s the woman with the weakest supports for that argument.

That being said, now we get to the women with a more muddled places in his romantic escapades, if you will. What exactly happened between Orzelska and Fritz during his trip with his father to Dresden in 1728? The main source for everything that occurred during this trip is Wilhelmina, who didn’t attend and without anything about this specific incident coming from Fritz or Friedrich Wilhelm I, make it rather hard to use as concrete, irrefutable proof. Now, if her recollections were contemporaneous - like coming from a diary or journal she kept at the time - that would be one thing. But it comes from her memoirs which, while a delightful read 10/10 recommend, are written decades after this trip took place and, memory being a finicky thing, can’t be taken to the bank. All those disclaimers, here’s the story as told by her:

‘One evening...,the King of Poland [note: Augustus II] insensibly led the King of Prussia to a very richly decorated room...The King of Prussia, delighted with what he saw, stopped to contemplate all its beauties, when [all of] a sudden a tapestry was rolled up, which procured him a very novel sight. It was a lovely female in a state of nudity [note: Countess Orzelska, the Polish king’s daughter], carelessly reclined on a couch. Her beauty excelled that of the finest pictures of Venus and the Graces; her body seemed of ivory, whiter than snow, and better shaped than that of the Venus de Medicis at Florence.

...Scarcely had the King cast his eyes on the fair one, than he turned about with indignation; and seeing my brother behind him, he rudely pushed him out of the room, and left it immediately after in a violent irritation against the trickery they had attempted to practice on him. ...In spite of the King’s vigilance, [Frederick] had had time to contemplate the Venus of the closet, who did not cause him so much horror as she had done to his father. (Wilhelmina’s Memoirs, vol. 1, 107-6)

Wilhelmina then goes on to claim Fritz had fallen ‘passionately in love’ with Orzelska and that the illness Fritz experienced upon returning home was simply being lovesick. Pinning the accuracy of this story is incredibly difficult because, again, we have only one source relayed decades after the fact and from two volumes of memoirs known to have inaccuracies. While I, personally, would love if he had had a tryst with Orzelska (who is such a badass in her own right and deserves more recognition than as a footnote in this guy’s story), there’s no one way to say with more than 30% confidence. I am inclined to believe something along these lines happened because if someone told me a story like this, lord knows I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life. And, with Wilhelmina being so close with her brother, it lends a bit more credence but as to the actual emotional or physical response Fritz had to it, well, without my time machine, I can’t and don’t want to say.

With Madame Eleonore-Louise von Wreech, things are a little more concrete. For starters, Fritz actually talked about her! In written correspondence that survived! We even have seven letters between the two of them that survived, which is a bigger win! As Blanning says, they’re ‘ardent but light in tone, ironic, almost flippant, and highly stylized’ (Blanning, 58). Their relationship was known to those close with Fritz at the time that Schulenberg felt compelled to visit and warn the crown prince against devoting himself to women because ‘the slight pleasures gained cause a million displeasures.’ Fritz’s response? To tell the poor guy that he may have ‘the gift of continence, but I assure you that I do not’ (Asprey, 83-4). Firtz even went so far as to send a letter to her mother, waxing poetic about Louise’s ‘beauty, her majestic air, her bearing, and her entire department.’ It’s worth noting that Louise eventually broke off the affair due to being bored by how he ‘loved [her] too much and often annoyed [her] with his clumsy love’ (Ibid, 84). Contemporaries, including Friedrich Wilhelm, believed Fritz had impregnated her with a daughter who her ‘cuckolded husband would refuse to recognize’ (Blanning, 58). Blanning is the only source I’ve seen dispute this due to this news coming from Seckendorf, who didn’t reveal how he came about this information; that Fritz and Madame von Wreech’s correspondence doesn’t indicate a physical relationship; and on the fact that she was not pregnant. I haven’t been able to find the birth dates or any sort of records for Louise’s two daughters to figure out where their conception could’ve been in the timeline and if it matches with the likely dates for the affair, but I also don’t have the resources Cambridge would afford Blanning. Either way, while the physical nature of the affair is in dispute, the emotional aspect certainly was there. Especially when taking into consideration the fact that she’s the woman Fritz was likely referring to in the 16 August 1737 letter to Voltaire where he claimed she had taught him how to love (and also inspired him to write poetry, which we shouldn’t be thankful for). Specifically, all these years later, he stated how ‘this little miracle of nature possessed every possible charm, together with good taste and delicacy. She sought to transfer these qualities to me. I succeeded well in love but poorly in poetry. Since that time I have very often been in love and have always been a poet’ (Fritz’s Oeuvres, vol. 21, 96).

All this to say, there’s a bit too much evidence of some degree of opposite-gender attraction in Fritz to completely write off the possibility that he could’ve been bisexual. While it’s undeniable he held a preference for men and that’s whose company he typically enjoyed, I still do find it interesting the two exceptions (one potential and the other with a fair degree of certainty) to this. And, while I would never want his attraction to men be minimized in favor of that to women, it still remains important to note to get the most comprehensive picture of the man.

#frederick the great #elisabeth christine #countess orzelska #madame von wreech #asks #anonymous

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

#street dance of china #sdoc episode reax #should i put yibo in the tags for this?#sure #i guess #wang yibo #anyone else?

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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We’re All Just Guys

Well it took the entire fucking season, but I FINALLY get the purpose for Henry Fondle: Sex Robot. And while the entire episode (and season, honestly) has been tremendous, that this ridiculous fucking punchline was the vehicle to deliver the overarching point with a solid knockout punch of meaning AND pathos? Absolutely floored. That BoJack Horseman can be (and often is) brilliant isn’t a surprise, but the ways is keeps proving it often are.

So “The Stopped Show”, a tale of accountability and responsibility and how we’re all just guys.

Each of our main characters closes out this season alone (sort of), in assorted stages of realizing the main themes, or completely failing to. I find Diane’s arc the hardest for me to make a decision on, which isn’t surprising, as I think in many ways, Diane’s the most complicated character in the show. She delivers, directly and succinctly, one of the major points of not just this season but the entire show, but how does it relate to her? I’M NOT COMPLETELY SURE. I think part of the problem with (and for) Diane is that she knows better. She’s the most insightful character, she has a fantastic head on her shoulders, but only for everyone else. She’s this fucked up little disaster prophet, her vision clear and her message concise, unable to ever apply her gifts to fix herself.

Diane is just as trapped as BoJack, but in a fun twist, is now lagging behind him in trying to do something about it. Nearly every single scene with Diane this season has been in this sad little room of her sad little apartment with all her sad little unpacked boxes, and no matter how much truth and wisdom she spits out, HERE SHE STILL IS, failing to correctly assemble IKEA furniture with names like Bȧcksleid. She already feels like shit for sleeping with Mr. Peanutbutter, so what does she do? THE SAME FUCKING THING. To which I groan and roll my eyes, while simultaneously being proud of her for directly and immediately setting him straight about not getting back together. Diane rides this constant line where she gets it but also doesn’t, which is so interesting to me in the level of additional frustration this makes me feel. BoJack is so self-absorbed you don’t really expect any better of him, which has the flip side of your expectations being so low that even the whiff of progress feels exceptional. Diane doesn’t come with any of that though, she knows better, you KNOW she knows better, and the consequence of this for the audience is that she winds up being more unlikeable than the guy who literally last episode nearly strangled his girlfriend and co-star in the middle of a paranoid drug-induced frenzy.

Which is fucked up! It’s intensely fucked up! And also, I think, the point! We expect more of Diane, and so feel more disappointed when she doesn’t deliver. Is that fair of us?

But there’s more here, as we pivot to the accountability portion of this episode/season. From the beginning of the show, it’s been incredibly upfront about how everything is unfair. We come back to this time and again. Privilege rules the day in the world of Hollywoo. Fame, money, charisma, gender, power. BoJack has been an asshole from pretty much the moment he set foot in the spotlight (possibly before?), and the only thing ever even attempting to hold him back has been the moments his guilt manages to scream loud enough to be heard over his internal narrative. Whatever he does, however he fucks up, he always stumbles back to his feet, and NEVER with any (broad scale) consequences. Meanwhile, here’s Diane, in her sad shitty apartment. Consequences haunt Diane, even if she’s the one doing the haunting. The crap things she’s done and the shitty choices she’s made cling to her.

There’s no fairness in that either, no justice. But Hollywoo (and the entire world around it) (and our world too oh yes) has that privilege carved into its bones, and Diane bears none of its marks. Her situation is very different from but parallel to Gina, who is just so fucked over, it keeps legitimately making me angry for her.

Gina, of course, brought none of this on herself. She made the mistake of caring about BoJack and trying to help him. OOPS YOU WERE A GENEROUS PERSON WITH AN OPEN HEART FUCK YOU LADY. For her trouble, Gina has been assaulted and traumatized, AND she is in very real danger of her career being over when it’s only just finally beginning. And she KNOWS THIS. That’s the part that I keep coming back to. All this should be an aberration, an anomaly, and while that may be true of the specifics, conceptually, it’s so commonplace that Gina already knows how it’s going to play. She’ll stop being Gina and become The Woman Nearly Strangled To Death By BoJack Horseman. Even if she’s able to keep working, this is what she’ll be asked about in every interview forever. Even if she convinced people to genuinely listen to her, BoJack would, at worst, get a slap on the wrist as he stumbles back to his feet. We know that, WE ALL KNOW THAT, because it happens all. the. fucking. time. Gina did nothing wrong, but this would still define her for the rest of her life, while for BoJack, it would maybe become a footnote on his Wikipedia page.

Nothing about that is FAIR. Nothing about it is JUST. Gina’s choices shouldn’t have to be “this becomes my entire life” or “swallow this down and pretend it never happened”. But it is, as it has been in perpetuity for the victims of the privileged.

So then what can we do about it? Well that’s really the question, isn’t it? This episode answers it in an assortment of ways (I think the entire SHOW is very much about this, really, but this episode is for sure coming with guns blazing), while also showing us why none of those answers can work. It’s funny and sad and awful and true, but also, ultimately, the most hopeful answer because it’s the only one you can actually affect: It’s you. It’s me. It’s each and every one of us, individually, making a choice to be better.

And believe it or not, we embody this with Henry Fondle: Sex Robot.

I thought the whole thing was so unbelievably stupid. Half the season, we’ve had this goddamn multi-dildo’d juvenile frat boy joke running around with its stupid ass Speak-and-Say voice, doing the same shtick over and over, and I’m like, “okay this is just the shit I have to put up with to get the clever stuff, I guess.” BUT THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT I’M SITTING THERE LIVING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN POINT AND MISSING IT. Henry Fondle: Sex Robot is seventeen shades of overt horribleness, AND WE ALL JUST GIVE IT A PASS. It’s just the way it is, the way the world works, the price of doing business. When the whole time -- THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME -- all it took was one person to say no. One person who could see the game we all are playing and was willing to give up everything to stop it.

Hilariously, Henry Fondle IS a metaphor, sort of, but of the saddest kind. He is literally a robot, he can’t possibly change. What’s more, media fervor will never affect him, fallout will never touch him, and the powerful will always rally around themselves to retain their power. It takes Todd, the head of the company, the creator of Henry Fondle, and the one person who would benefit most from the unending efforts of the rest of the world bending over backwards to avoid the truth, to put a stop to it. In doing so, he immediately returns to his old, homeless, destitute self, but doesn’t once hesitate or look back.

It’s Todd, and only Todd, that stops that madness, because while individual people are a problem, the world at large is too. Stefani makes a great point that Diane holds herself and everyone else to impossible standards and a little forgiveness and grace wouldn’t go amiss, but when Diane suggests they apply that philosophy to their clickbait gossipy shit on their website, it’s just

Which again, is beautifully cynical and depressing, but not untrue. Fostering a more forgiving culture isn’t in stopping websites from posting clickbaity takedown articles, it’s each person deciding not to take the clickbait. We can absolutely have a conversation about the people creating their world or the world creating its people, but when you boil it down, only one of those things can you yourself absolutely and directly change, and it’s not the entire world.

A THING DIANE GETS BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT.

I can’t take myself away from this Diane thing, I know, but only because she’s the fucking CORE of each and every one of us struggling with this idea. She’s the simplicity of it and the complication all in one. Not BoJack, which is NOT where I thought we’d be when we started this journey. BoJack is more an action on the people around him at this point in the story, he IS the world you cannot change. He’s pointed to rehab, and off he goes -- or doesn’t! I don’t think it’s coincidence that we stay with Diane and watch her watching him.

Oh, Diane, indeed. As she tells her story of her friend Abby, who threw her over for the cool kids, who turned every confidence into a scar. Who Diane still helped anyway, because Abby needed her. Did Abby learn from that, did she get better? We don’t know; we stay with Diane and watch her watching Abby. Diane, who can so completely understand about personal responsibility while failing to recognize her own enabling for the shitty things that keep happening to her.

You can control yourself. That’s it. That’s the only playground with a guarantee.

Will BoJack go off to learn that? Will Diane stay and figure it out?

THAT’S WHAT NEXT SEASON IS FOR

Something I was toying with including in this, but ultimately decided against for a variety of reasons, was the contrast between BoJack’s take on personal responsibility independent of external response, and The Good Place’s argument that people need external support for personal growth. An idea I may not have even considered contrasting save that Doc’s talked before about these two Jewish creators with what are clearly very different philosophies, and basically, if she were ever able to manage a discussion between them on this, I’d love to be in the room. I’ll be very quiet and not get in the way, I promise.

#jet wolf watches bojack #a novel by jet wolf #this has been so hard to write and consolidate into a series of thoughts that made some measure of cohesive sense #i'm still not sure i've managed it #but i'm pretty sure i've kicked it around about as much as i'm able at this point #IT WORKS OR IT DOESN'T I DON'T KNOW FLY MY PRETTY

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aterlupus · 3 years

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Varis's Speech Transcription (Part 1 of 2)

Part Two: Link Here

I've been meaning to post this for a while since I talk about it a lot but I want to finally have it written out. This will be a long post since I am essentially posting the entire cutscene three times over (The English Text, the JP Text, and my translation of the JP text.) Please note I don't consider myself fluent in Japanese and I do not claim this translation is perfect. This is why I post the JP text alongside it in case there is some things of note I might have missed.

If you ever see an asterisk in parenthesis like this: (***) it corresponds to a footnote at the bottom of the post.

OK to Reblog

...

ENG: Varis: Esteemed representatives of the Eorzean Alliance -- on behalf of the Garlean Empire, I thank you for inviting me here today. As this parley was convened at your request, I invite you to speak first.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：エオルゼアの盟主たちよ我こそ、ガレマール帝国第二代皇帝ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァスである。まずは聞かせてもらおうか、停戦を訴える貴公らの言い分を……。 TL: Varis: Lords of Eorzea, I am the second Emperor of Garlemald, Varis Zos Galvus. First, you should let me know what you have to say about the ceasefire. (*)

ENG: Nanamo: Very well, Your Radiance, I, Nanamo Ul Namo, Seventeenth in the line of Ul, should be pleased to oblige you.

JP: ナナモ・ウルナモ；それでは、わらわ、ウルダハ第十七代国王、ナナモ・ウル・ナモより、エオルゼア都市軍事同盟の総意を伝えよう。 TL: Nanamo: Now then, let me, Nanamo Ul Namo, 17th King of Ul'dah, convey the consensus of the Eorzean Military Alliance.

ENG: As recent events in Ala Mhigo and Doma have made plain, the subjugation and exploitation of neighboring nations is not a sustainable policy.

JP: ナナモウルナモ：貴国、ガレマール帝国の力による支配は、一時は成功しようとも、必ずや綻びが生じることは明白アラミゴ、ドマでの戦はその証左であった。 TL: It is clear that rule by the power of your country, the Garlemald Empire, will surely break even if it succeeds for a while, and the battle in Ala Mhigo and Doma was proof.

ENG: Should this day end in war, you may very well defeat us, but you will never extinguish the people’s desire for freedom. Though it may not be in our lifetime, there will be another revolution, another war, and the cycle will continue.

JP: ナナモウルナモ：我らはたとえ、此度の戦に敗れたとて幾世代にもかけて、自由を求め戦い続けるであろう。この終わりなき負の連鎖は、ここで断ち切らねばならぬ。 TL: Even if we lose the battle, the fight for freedom will continue for generations to come. This endless negative chain must be broken here.

ENG: Doma has entered into a concord with the nations of Eorzea. A partnership wherein we recognize one another as equals. Garlemald could be afforded similar treatment. You need only set aside your ambitions and join us in paving a path towards peace.

JP: そして、我らエオルゼア諸国、並びにドマ国は、各々が独立を保ちながらも、確かな同盟関係を結んでいる。そなたらガレアン人国家とも、平和裏に手を取ることができるはず。 TL: And as well, the countries of Eorzea were able to form a solid alliance with the countries of Doma, all while maintaining their independence. If this is the case, then we should be able to peacefully take hands with those of the Garlean Nation. Now is the time to abandon your grudges and desire for control, and seek a way of coexistence, is it not?

ENG: Varis: Hmph! You will not win me over with sophistry, Your Grace.

JP: ヴァリス・ゾス・ガルヴァス: フン…説弁だな。 TL: Varis: Hah, So that’s your excuse?

ENG: As you know only too well, this alliance lacks the strength to keep the peace within its own borders. Even now, your struggles with the beastmen continue unabated.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：いまでこそ同盟関係にあるのやもしれんが、エオルゼアとて、かつては国同士の戦争や内乱が絶えなかったさらに言えば、今なお「蛮族」との争いを続けておる。 TL: Maybe you call yourself an alliance, but Eorzea is still fighting with the “Barbarians”(**), and once before, the wars and civil wars between your nations were constant.

ENG: Divided, you sow this fertile soil with the seeds of your differences and reap naught but discord and chaos for your trouble. Eorzea must be united under one leader, one purpose. I would offer you both and bring an end to your strife.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：断言するが、国が分かたれていれば、争いの種は尽きることはないすべての民が、ひとつ理想の下に集わぬかぎり終わりなき負の連鎖とやらは、断ち切れはせぬというものよ。 TL: Varis: I do affirm, that if the nations are separated, the seeds of conflict will never run out. Unless all people are gathered under one ideal, the endless negative chain will indeed never be cut off.

ENG: Lyse: With all due respect, Your Radiance, the only thing that you offered the people of Ala Mhigo was fear and hopelessness.

JP: リセ：お言葉だけど…帝国に支配されたアラミゴでは、属州民は自由を奪われ虐げられ、恐怖と絶望の下で生きていたそれが、帝国の掲げる理想というものなの。 TL: Lyse: If I may have a word... In Ala Mhigo, which was dominated by the Empire, the people were deprived of freedom, oppressed, and lived in fear and despair. That is the ideal of the empire.

ENG: Hien: The citizens of Doma can also attest to the meager alms of Imperial Rule. There is no purpose to be found in a life of oppression, each day more uncertain than the last.

JP: ヒエン：ドマも同じだ……。支配された民は圧政に怯え、明日をも知れぬ身に、皆、震えていた. TL: Hien: The same rings true for the people of Doma, the ruled people were terrified of oppression, and trembled in the face of tomorrow.

ENG: Lyse: Our people are willing to die for their freedom. A great many already have. And countless more will, if we don’t put an end to this madness here and now.

JP: リセ：結果、自由を求めて戦が起こり、多大な犠牲が出ることになった。帝国のやり方は、悲惨な争いを生むだけなんだ。 TL: As a result, war broke out for the sake of Freedom, and at a great cost. The Empire’s way only creates disastrous conflicts.

ENG: Varis: We brought order and stability to your lives. This madness and bloodshed is of your own making. You broke the peace, not Garlemald.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：統治者に逆らい争いを起こしたのはそちら。圧政を敷かざるをえんのも、反逆者が絶えぬため従っていれば、平和は約束されていたものを・。 TL: That was those who fought against their ruler. The reason why we have put up these oppressive rules is because peace was promised if the Rebels obeyed, but they only continue to rebel.

ENG: Raubahn: Peace? Order? You kill our people, despoil our lands, take everything that is ours. And what? You expect us to lick the boot that grinds out faces into the dirt?

JP: ラウバーン：仲間を殺され、祖国を疎潤され、すべてを奪われた者たちが、大人しく従うことはない反旗を翻すのも当然のことではないか………？ TL: Raubahn: Our friends were killed, we were deprived of our homeland, and deprived of the ability to rebel against the Empire, and what of the sacrifices of those who obeyed quietly...?

ENG: Varis: I expect you to weigh the costs. To recognize that countless lives have been lost on both sides in pursuit of a greater good -- and to not squander all that we have achieved in a fit of petulance.

JP: ヴァリス・ゾス・ガルヴァス：その反逆によって出たこちらの犠牲も、決して少なくはない。戦死した兵らにも、それぞれの人生があったのだ。尊い犠牲を無駄にせぬためにも、歩みを止めるわけにはいかん。 TL: Varis: The sacrifices made by the Rebellion are not small. The soldiers who died in the war also had their own lives. You cannot stop walking this path, so that you do not waste their precious sacrifices.

ENG: Aymeric: Your Radiance, I fear I can personally attest to the dangers of pursuing one’s vision with such righteous fervor.

JP: アイメリク：では、私から少し話をさせていただこう。 TL: Aymeric: Please, permit me to talk a bit.

ENG: For a thousand years, the Holy See of Ishgard waged war with dragons. A thousand years of sacrifice, of sorrow and hate, in which we bathed in the blood of friend and foe alike. Had it gone on any longer, we may well have drowned.

JP: アイメリク：我が国、イシュガルドは千年にわたってドラゴン族と戦ってきた。双方とも犠牲の山はうず高く積まれるばかり、戦はどちらかが滅びるまで続くものと思われた。 TL: Aymeric: My country, Ishgard, has been fighting dragons for a thousands years. On both sides, the mountains of sacrifices were piled up high, and the war was expected to continue until one of us died out.

ENG: Yet we have chosen to raise ourselves out of this bloody spiral, and have since made peace with our former enemy.

JP: アイメリク：しかし、我々とドラゴン族は千年の禍根を乗り越え、竜詩戦争を終結させ、融和の道を歩み始めたのだ貴国との間にも、必ずや和平の可能性があるはず… TL: Aymeric: However, we and the dragons overcame this millennia of wrath, and ended the Dragonsong War, and we have begun a path of reconciliation. There must be way... to have peace with your country.

ENG: Varis: So I understand. No doubt the dragons were more receptive to your overtures in the wake of their leader’s demise.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：その融和とやらも、竜の頭目かの邪竜を殺すことでのみ、成し遂げたと聞くが？ TL: Varis: I hear your reconciliation was only achieved by killing the Evil Dragon, the Head of the Dragons...

ENG: You speak of peace, yet use war to achieve it. Your father would not have bothered to obscure his intent with honeyed words. He understood that strength is all that mattered in the end.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：私は、美辞麗句を語る責様より、強大な力によって、すべての者を統べようとした先の教皇にこそ、共感を覚えるのだがな。 TL: I sympathize with the Pope, who tried to rule with great power, rather than to shift responsibility by speaking in rhetoric.

ENG: Without his clarity of vision, I can but wonder what will become of Ishgard and her people. There was a time when Garlemald too lacked a leader of conviction. Weak and unable to wield magic, we were at the mercy of the strong, from whom we sought refuge in the bitter cold of the north.

JP: ヴァリス・ゾス・ガルヴァス：まったく話にならぬな………。そもそも、「己の国」とやらの定義は何なのだ. ガレアン族は、故郷を追われた民である先天的に魔法が使えぬ我らは、領土争いに敗れ、北方の寒冷地に追いやられた歴史を持つ。 TL: That is to say... In the first place, what even is the definition of “My country”? The Garleans have a history of being displaced from their hometowns, who are congenitally unable to wield magic, and have been defeated in territorial disputes and driven to the freezing regions of the north.

ENG: Were it not for the discovery of ceruleum, and the subsequent development of magitek, we might never have gained the power to take back which was rightfully ours.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：そこで青燐水を発見し、魔導技術を得たからこそ、領土を取り戻し、強国へ成長することもできたが…それまでは厳しい生活の中、苦汁をなめてきたのだ。 TL: It is because we discovered ceruleum, and acquired the ability to wield magic skills, that we were able to regain territory and grow into a powerful country. Until then, it had been a bitter and difficult life.

ENG: Merlwyb: You speak as if your people were the first to have been driven from their homes. Limsa Lominsa was built by wayward souls in search of a place to call their own. On the shores of Vylbrand we found it, and from those humble beginnings did we grow and flourish. And all without robbing our neighbors of their liberty.

JP: メルウィブ：我らリムサ・ロミンサの民も、同じく故郷を追われた身だ。それでも、新天地を切り開いて海の都を築き上げた。だが、必要以上の拡大はせぬ。不遇な境遇だからとて、侵略が肯定されるわけではない。 TL: Merlwyb: The people of Limsa Lominsa are also displaced from their hometowns. Still, we opened up a new world and built a city of the sea. However, we didn’t expand more than necessary. The aggression is not there because of the unfavorable circumstances.

ENG: Varis: So sayeth the pirate. Am I to believe that you simply asked the kobolds to yield up their lands, and that they were happy to oblige you? That you did not drive them out like rats in the hold of one of the man ships seized by your “privateers”?

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァスさすがは海賊、略奪が日常ゆえに忘れてしまったか？バイルブランド島を、先住民のコボルド族から奪ったことをもっとも、蛮族を駆逐するとは、よい心掛けだがな。 TL: Varis: As expected from a Pirate... have you forgotten this because looting has become an every day occurrence? Taking Vylbrand Island from the indigenous Kobolds was the best way to get rid of those Barbarians.

ENG: I will concede that, after centuries of exile, reclamation may be mistaken for invasion. Nevertheless, it is not -- and those who till stolen soil have no right to object when cast out in turn.

JP: ヴァリスゾスガルヴァス：ガレアン族が故郷を取り戻すまでの数百年間で、その土地に根付いた民にとってみれば、我らは所詮、侵略者。相互理解などという、生ぬるいもので共存できようはずもない。 TL: In the hundreds of years it took for the Garleans to regain their homeland, for the people rooted in the land, we are, after all, invaders. There is no way we can coexist with lukewarm things such as a mutual understanding.

ENG: Kan E Senna: Your uncompromising nature rivals that of the Ixal. They too lament circumstances which they themselves perpetuate. Were they but to embrace peace, we would welcome them with open arms. Indeed, some few have done just that, and now receive the Twelveswood’s bounty.

JP: まるで・…行き場がないと嘆き、黒衣森の恵みを奪うことで精霊の心を乱す、イクサル族のようです。しかし、そんなイクサル族のなかにも、己の拠り所をみつけ充足を得た者たちもいます。 TL: Kan E Senna: Ah... It’s just like that Ixali tribe. You lament there is no place to go, and are like them, who disturb the Spirits by robbing the Blessings of the Twelveswood. However... there are some Ixal Tribes who have found their own bases, and they are satisfied.

ENG: Kan E Senna: Would that your people might learn from their example.

JP: カヌ・エ・センナ：ガレマール帝国にも、拡大路線だけでなく、民の幸福を実現する、ほかの道があるのではないでしょうか？ TL: Kan E Senna: Isn’t the Garlemald Empire not just an expansion route, but a way to achieve a means of well-being for the people?

ENG: Varis: You would dare compare us to the birdmen? You who thought to invoke the Twelve and threaten all of creation?

JP: ヴァリス・ゾス・ガルヴァス：まさか、我らが蛮族に喰えられようとはな・。容易く神に救いを求めるそちらこそ、世界の脅威だ。 TL: It is impossible to compare, considering you would have been consumed by the Ixali if not for threatening the whole world with the summoning of your Gods...

ENG: I came here in the hope of finding some speck of common ground, but I see now these discussions will accomplish nothing. Despite what you people may believe, I am not wont to choose the sword over the olive branch. ‘Tis but a pity men are loath to accept one without first being shown the other.

JP: 少しでも停戦の可能性があればと、会談の申し出を受けたものの、このままでは、将が明かぬな。こちらとて、無駄な血は流したくないのだがやはり、武力で語り合うしかないということか。 TL: I was offered a parley if there was any possibility of a ceasefire, but I believe it has been made clear to me... I don’t want to shed wasted blood, but after all, I have no choice but to talk only by force. (***)

ENG: Alisaie: Wait, I beg you! This meeting was supposed to be a chance to find a way forward together, not to bemoan the missteps which brought us here.

JP: 待ってせっかく、敵対し続けてきた者同士が会談の場を持てたのだから、もう少し話し合いましょう。 TL: Wait, we have been hostile this whole time before even having a chance to meet, so please, let us talk a bit more!

ENG: Please -- if you truly consider violence a last resort, there must be a way we can come to an agreement.

JP: お互い戦いを望んでいないのなら、過去の非をあげつらうのでなく、停戦に向けて歩み寄るべきよ. TL: Alisaie: If you don’t want to fight each other, you should walk towards a ceasefire instead of blaming the past.

ENG: Nanamo: As Mistress Alisaie says, we did not come here to bicker over the past, but to discuss how we might strive towards a brigter future. Emperor Varis, may I suggest a short recess, that all present might compose themselves prior to begin anew?

JP: ナナモウルナモ：確かに……その通りじゃ。この会談は、お互いの未来に向けて話し合うはずであった。ヴァリス殿、議論がもつれてしまったいま休憩を挟んで、皆で頭を冷やしてから、改めて話し合わぬか。 TL: Nanamo: Certainly... That’s right. This talk was supposed to discuss each other’s futures... Lord Varis, now that the discussion has become muddled, let us take a break, cool our heads, and then discuss again.

ENG: Varis: Very well. I pray this intermission will suffice to move these talks in a more constructive direction.

JP: ヴァリスゾス・ガルヴァス：よかろう。一服の後に、建設的な話ができることを期待しているぞ。 TL: Good luck. I hope we can talk constructively after the break.

...

*Worth noting Varis did not actually give them the same sort of in like he did in English, in Japanese they begin to tear into him with no prompting to do so, making them appear even less professional.

** In saying “Barbarians” in quotes, He means the beast tribes. Garleans refer both to Eorzeans and the Beast Tribes with the term Barbarians, which is why he highlights this, because he knows the Eorzeans consider the Beast Tribes to be lesser, while Varis considers them to be the same.

*** He is essentially saying the group has not really given him a chance to talk about peace at all, and therefore, he will talk about peace only by force. (Essentially saying “I suppose I’ll actually be able to talk peace with you once I defeat you. Because we aren’t talking about it right now.”)

...

I’m breaking this post into two so this is the end of the first cutscene, the second one I will link to later.

#ooc #ignore me #mun speaks #long post #very long post #if read more doesn't work i am very sorry #ff14 translations #sort of #translation post #tmi

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theshipsfirstmate · 4 years

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Agents of SHIELD Fic: Tell Me I Got Here at the Right Time

finale and post-finale dousy spec. What if they had to fully reset the timeline before they could take it back? What if Daisy was left out of that decision?

A/N: Genuinely don’t know where this came from, other than I can’t seem to stop writing for these two. Also, I want to state for the record that I love Peggy Carter and shipped peggysous, but these two just have my heart and inspiration rn.

Title from “Here at the Right Time” by Josh Ritter.

Tell Me I Got Here at the Right Time (AO3 - wc: 4378)

They think she can’t hear them. In truth, Daisy wishes they were right.

“I still don’t think this is a good idea.” Simmons has regained a good bit of her sparkle since Fitz’s return, but the worry in her voice is what’s most evident now.

“I know. I’m not sure I do either.” There’s a muffled sound after Fitz’s response that Daisy guesses is Simmons swatting at his arm.

“It’s your idea!” she hisses. “What if-“

“Don’t even say it,” her husband answers. “And it’s not my idea. You know that.”

They choose that moment to step back outside, where Daisy’s wringing the nerves out of her hands, hoping to twist them into even more resolve before she steps into the makeshift portal. She knows Fitz has run over a hundred successful tests, has seen over half of them first-hand. But still.

He’s the one of the pair who meets her eyes first, so she hones in before he can try to talk her out of it again. “You promised.”

“I shouldn’t have,” he admits. He’s probably right. But he knows what it means to her, and they all know she would have found another way if he’d refused to help.

“But you did.”

“Yes, I did.” Fitz grimaces, hazarding a glance at his wife, who’s rubbing anxiously at her arms, and then sighs. “Daisy, are you really sure? If something happens to you…”

“I’m sure.” And she is. Danger be damned. “I’m going. I have to.”

She’s had more than enough of time travel. They all have. She’d be happy to never jump again for the rest of her life. But when she regained consciousness after that final battle with Malick and realized the sacrifices that had been made to defeat the Chronicoms for good, she knew immediately that she would be making at least one more trip.

They’d had to do it, the team swore, though they all had a hard time looking her in the eye. Everything, and everyone, had to go back to its rightful place before they could steal the timestream back from Sybil. Daisy didn’t fault them, but her heart broke down to pieces just the same when she woke up to find an empty chair at the foot of her recovery bed.

“He didn’t want to go. He made us promise to tell you that,” Simmons had told her tearfully, needlessly. She already knew.

It took her less than a month to come up with the plan, but a bit longer to convince the rest of the team -- and Daisy still thought of them as a team, scattered though they were now to their own concerns.

What sealed it for everyone else was a newly-discovered footnote from an historical S.H.I.E.L.D. ledger.

“According to public records, Daniel Sousa still died at the Hotel Roosevelt on July 22, 1955, like he was supposed to,” she’d explained on their video conference, even though the words burned in her throat. “But not long after, an underground faction of early S.H.I.E.L.D. agents started to assemble in the Los Angeles office. They organized in secret, and fought against the shadier HYDRA factions, every time one of its slimy snake heads popped out of the ground. They didn’t always win. But they did their best.”

“We know Peggy Carter was one of their leaders,” Daisy told the group. “But there’s no solid information on any of the others.”

“You think Agent Sousa faked his death again. On his own.” Simmons had been the one to put her pieces together, to say out loud the hope that was stuck in her throat.

“We gave him the blueprint,” Daisy nodded. None among them doubted his devotion to rooting out HYDRA, but she knew hope was part of what had her convinced, and she promised she’d weigh their approval before she’d risk her life. “It would be just like him to keep fighting.”

Fitz had mastered the tech in his time away, and had, of course, immediately started constructing a prototype in his backyard before she’d even thought to ask, much to Simmons’ chagrin. As it stands in modern-day Manchester, it looks like a simple phone booth -- a nerdy tribute Daisy’s dying to tease him about -- but he can calibrate it to any coordinates and time in the known universe. And she knows where she needs to be.

“What if he really is dead?” May had been the one to ask the questions no one else dared, though even she had waited for a private phone call to bring them up. “Or what if something happened, and he doesn’t remember you?”

“Then I’ll know for sure,” she’d answered, in part working to convince herself. There was perhaps a fate worse than being forgotten, in this case. “And even if…. even if he doesn’t want to come back, I’ll at least get to say a proper goodbye.”

It was clear everyone had their doubts, but even the most stalwart member of her found family couldn’t deny her that much.

“You’d better come back.” Simmons is tearing up again, and Daisy definitely cannot handle that right now. “Your goddaughter will be waiting.”

That’s been the hardest part of any of this. It had been a surprise when Fitz returned, just moments after they’d successfully banished the Chronicoms back to their own space and time. It had been a bigger surprise that he’d appeared with a pigtailed toddler in his arms, who’d immediately wriggled out of his grasp and wrapped herself familiarly around Simmons’ legs.

Their daughter was two, almost three, when Simmons forced herself to forget her, but she was brilliant, of course, and somehow made of even stronger stuff than her parents. She powered through her mother’s initial shock and dismay and overwhelming guilt, helping to mend all of their hearts in the process. (Fitz had also dutifully shown her pictures of her S.H.I.E.L.D. family, so she recognized “Auntie May,” “Big Mack” and the rest -- and had a special spot in her heart for “Aunt Dede,” which Daisy did not take for granted.)

“I’ll be back,” she promised. “You tell her to read Rocky a story every night for me.”

She and Simmons had stayed up the night before -- after putting the little girl to bed alongside her favorite cuddly toy -- talking through all of the possible contingencies. Almost none of them were worse than never knowing, never getting any sort of closure, her friend had agreed. Almost.

“You remember the order, yeah?”

“Yes, Fitz,” Daisy answers dutifully, trying not to roll her eyes. They’ve been over this fifty times, and drilled it in person at least ten. It’s more time and practice than they ever used to get in the field, on the fly. She’s itching to get a move on. “Launch, exit, cloak the device with the watch…”

“Then, when you’re ready to come back, de-cloak, enter and launch. It should bring you right back here.”

“No matter what,” Simmons chimes in, casting her a look that says much more than her simple reminder. “24 hours is the limit.”

“I know,” Daisy nods, nervously smoothing down her period-appropriate ensemble. “I just need to see him.”

Fitz and Simmons nod solemnly in unison -- if anyone can understand it, it’s them -- and with that, Daisy steps into the booth, preprogrammed with her coordinates, and hits the button on her modified wristwatch.

The jolt of the jump feels familiar, which she takes as a good sign, and when she steps out of the booth, a quick survey of her surroundings allows her to exhale a sigh of relief as she cloaks the pod.

Fitz had plotted out an alley next to the old SSR office in Los Angeles. They know from de-classified S.H.I.E.L.D. documents that the underground corps started in a hidden basement office of the same building, so that’s Daisy’s best guess as to a starting point. It’s a few weeks after his “death,” and if she knows Sousa, he barely missed a day of work.

She double-checks the lobby just to make sure she’s at the right spot, and then sneaks back around the side to slide in through a basement window well. She lands in some kind of storage room, full of file folders and cobwebs, and makes her way to the cluttered, dingy hallway, where, behind a closed, unmarked door, she hears a familiar voice that makes her breath catch in her throat.

“They need to keep thinking I’m dead,” he’s explaining to someone. But he’s not, and the relief is enough to make her brace herself on the doorframe. “And we need to find out what exactly Stark knows about what I was carrying, and more importantly, what he knows about who might be after it.”

Daisy takes a slow, deep breath and knocks softly on the door — and three things happen. First, she hears the conversation go silent, saved for a concerned murmur. Second, Sousa opens the door and she sees him for the first time in months, handsomely square as ever in a dark grey suit and pale green dress shirt. And third, she scans the room and realizes there’s a non-zero chance that she’s about to cry in front of Peggy Carter.

“Daisy?” Sousa’s eyes go wide when he sees her, and it’s hard to be concerned about comporting herself in the presence of the legendary founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. when she’s wondering if his heart is stuttering in his chest the same way as her own.

It hits her in that moment, how much she’s boxed away the memory of him, how much she refused to let herself mourn his loss. He’s right there in front of her -- the man who’d carried her out of Malick’s torture chamber on a bum leg and kept vigil as she healed, the man who’d pushed her towards closure with her mother when she needed it most, the man who had appeared in her life and upended it simply by being kind and loyal and supportive in a way that she’s never known another person to be -- and god, she’s missed him.

“Agent Sousa,” she grins, even as traitorous tears threaten to cloud her vision. “Good to see you again.”

He stares at her, slack-jawed for a long moment, saying only her name again, but softer, and that’s when she realizes she’s frozen too, helpless to move at the consoling sight of him. They only startle from their reverie when the third person in the room primly clears her throat.

“Pardon my manners.” Daisy moves past Sousa, hyper-aware of all the places she brushes against him, to finally break his disbelieving gaze and extend her hand. “Agent Daisy Johnson.”

“She’s CIA,” Sousa adds after her, and they both watch Agent Carter bristle a little, so he tacks on: “One of the good ones.”

“Well if Daniel vouches for you, it much be true,” the woman stands and straightens her skirt, still eying Daisy suspiciously as she reaches out her own hand to shake. “Peggy Carter.”

“Of course I know who you are.” This earns Daisy a small frown, so she scrambles to cover. “From Daniel… er, Sousa -- he’s told me all about the great work you guys are doing here.”

Another frown, and a glance at the man behind her. Daisy realizes after the fact that it would make a better compliment if the work they were doing here wasn’t supposed to be top secret.

“Are you alright?” Sousa’s brain starts catching up, and he reaches out, fingertips brushing against her waist, before pulling his hands back just as suddenly. “Is everything okay? How are you….here?”

“I…” Daisy hazards another awkward glance at Agent Carter, who’s looking at her like she just stepped out of a spaceship, which, honestly? Not far off. “It’s kind of a complicated story.”

“I’ll give you two a moment,” the other woman offers, her accent masking politeness over her obvious concern. “Then, Daniel, if you-”

“I know,” he answers, though he never takes his eyes off Daisy. “Of course, I-- thank you, we’ll just be a minute.”

“An honor to meet you, truly,” Daisy stutters as Peggy freakin’ Carter exits with a slightly disapproving eyebrow raised in their direction. Simmons is going to kill her.

Sousa closes the door and turns back to face her slowly, almost like he’s preparing himself to find an empty room. But the second his eyes meet hers, the paralyzing effects of surprise and awkwardness fade and Daisy rushes forward into his arms. Burying her face in his neck and catching the scent of his aftershave, she feels herself relax for the first time in a long time.

“Daisy.” He whispers her name, still sounding just as awed, but this time, it’s for her alone. “I thought… is this real?”

“Yes,” she nods into his shoulder, trying not to let him notice that the word comes out on a sob. “I’m sorry.”

Sorry they made you go. Sorry I wasn’t there to stop them. Sorry there wasn’t time to tell you. Like everything else when it comes to him, the apology is so much and not enough, all at once.

“Don’t be sorry.” He pulls back a little, takes her face in his hands and swipes his thumbs at the tears that are smudging her eyes. “Don’t cry. Please.”

“I woke up and you were gone.” She didn't let herself cry about it at the time, the combination of shock and other distractions keeping her emotions occupied. But every time she came to, alone in that healing chamber, was a fresh wave of heartbreak, and they’re all returning to her now, on a tide of tears. “And I--”

“I didn’t want to go,” Sousa interrupts, reaching down to squeeze her hands in his.

She just nods, still taking in the sight of him. “I know.”

“Why— how are you here now?” His brow furrows and she knows exactly where he’s gone, from shock to worry. “Is everything okay?”

It’s the kind concern in his eyes, the way he’s still steady and supportive, even when she’s dropped in from the future, unannounced, pulling the rug out from under him once again. (If she’s totally honest, it’s also the set of his jaw and the memory of how his chest felt beneath her palms.) Daisy lets herself give in, reaching up for his shirt collar in a familiar movement, and pulls him down to capture his lips. Just like before, he pauses for a second and then gives chase, kissing her back with a passion she thought she’d been exaggerating in her memories.

“Sorry,” she whispers again when they pause for a breath, even though this time she’s really not.

“Please don’t be sorry for that,” he grins, blinking his eyes open slowly. She remembers that soft look of wonder, from a stolen moment when there wasn’t enough time to bask in it.

“I just- We did that once before,” she admits, “back in the time loops. But you didn’t remember.”

“Well, now I’m extra glad you came back, if only to remind me,” he grins, and it makes her want to kiss him all over again. So she does. But he keeps this one quick, pulling back to ask again, “How did you come back? What’s the plan here?”

Daisy doesn’t quite realize what he’s asking at first.

“Fitz knocked off the Chronicom tech and built his own pod,” she answers, fluttering her hand to the side before bringing it back to his lapel. “I’ve got 24 hours before I’ve got to bring it back.”

There’s a question that goes along with her explanation, but she can’t find the words to ask it just yet, not when the answer could break what’s left of her heart. Instead, she tells him the first truth at the front of her mind. “I just missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he answers. His hands are warm around her waist and she has the fleeting thought that it’s been worth it, even if this is all she gets. And then, because she didn’t catch his meaning the first time, because some part of him knows some part of her better than anyone ever has, he just... asks.

“So, can I come back?”

Daisy goes light-headed with possibility. It can’t be this easy. “What?”

“Can I come back with you?” She watches for a joke in his eyes but it’s the same old earnest Sousa. “Will they let me? Will it… end the world?”

“No. I mean, yes. Are you sure?” She’s not even sure if her words are forming coherent sentences. Every relationship in her life has been fraught with conflict and heartbreak, for as long as she can remember -- and this one she just gets to have?

“Yes, I’m sure.” Now the teasing smile makes a hint of an appearance. “I’ve been wondering if you’d come back for me since the minute I woke up back in my old house.”

That confession hits her sideways, just like it had when she asked if he was the type who liked picking other people back up when they fell, and he’d looked into her eyes -- and even deeper -- and answered: “Not for everyone.”

She knows what the longing has been like for her. But she had so much more time with it than he did. They never even came close to defining this...thing, this flint of friction that gives off sparks between them, and still, he’s just been here. Waiting.

“You had goodbyes you wanted to say, loose ends,” she recalls, trying to clear the whiplash from her mind. The last thing she wants is for him to take the leap and regret it halfway down.

She shuffles a small step back, but unwilling to completely lose contact, takes one of his hands in her own, studying it intently as she offers him the easy out.

“Daisy.” Sousa lets out a little humorless laugh. “You know they had to knock me out to send me back, right?”

She didn’t know that, actually, and her fists start to clench in an instinctive response. But he eases them open, drawing her gently back towards him, and she follows.

“My loose ends aren’t in the past anymore,” he says softly, rubbing a thumb over the pulse point at her wrist. “I came back and I made my peace -- said what I needed to say to the people that needed to hear it.”

He glances towards at the door -- she’d known that one of those conversations was always meant for Peggy Carter -- and then back at her, and she believes him. Somehow she trusted him from the beginning, even when she had little more than his name and photo on an old S.H.I.E.L.D. file, and she trusts him now more than ever, even as a tiny bit of skepticism is still warring with her hopeful heart.

“But your team. The underground S.H.I.E.L.D. force. That’s you, isn’t it? You and Carter?”

“It is. And a few others. They’re gonna do good work, I know it.” She nods a confirmation. They will. “But I built it so I can lift right out. They’re a well-oiled machine already. Plus, everyone already figures my days are numbered.”

He’s been planning for this. For her. Of all the possible outcomes, she hadn’t even thought to hope for one where he was waiting with his bags packed, metaphorical or otherwise. He’s a constant surprise and it makes her heart leap to dangerous places every time.

“I went back to work because I’m devoted to the cause,” Sousa continues, “but if you think I haven’t spent every free moment trying to figure a way back to you, thinking about what I’d do if I saw you again...”

“Daniel...” There isn’t much more to say but his name, and even that’s difficult when her throat is thick with emotion.

“Unless you don’t want me to.” He saves her again, breaking the heavy moment by teasing her some more.

“Of course I do,” Daisy answers, swiping under her eyes. “But I’m gonna ask if you're sure a couple hundred more times.”

He nods, lips pursed. “My answer won’t change.”

“Okay, but we do have some time,” she reminds him with a nervous laugh, even as she’s starting to have faith in his certainty. “You want to sleep on it? Get some dinner or something?”

He grins even wider. “Yeah, you know, pizza sounds good. Your place? In about sixty years?”

She rolls her eyes at him, achingly grateful for even the hint of their familiar dynamic amid all this intensity. “All right, all right, old man. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I do.” She reaches up to soothe her thumb over the crinkle beside his eye, another tiny detail she’s spent the last few months missing. “But you can keep reminding me.”

He catches her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm and promising, “I can do that.”

She takes a deep breath as he gathers his suit jacket from the back of the chair. Here goes everything. It’s not until they turn to leave that she realizes.

“Do you need to…”

He’s a little solemn when he catches her meaning, but she’s surprised when it doesn’t make her worry. “Give me just a moment with Peggy, and I’ll meet you…”

“In the alleyway,” she finishes. “I came in through the storage room.”

He nods, and tugs her close for a hard and fast kiss to her lips that has her still dazed when she grasps for the door handle.

To Agent Carter’s credit, she only looks slightly impatient when Daisy exits, pursing her lips as she brushes past her in the narrow hallway, unsure of what else to do or say. There’s an echoing silence that borders on uncomfortable, and then the other woman speaks.

“He’s been different lately,” she offers softly, like a secret, before she’s close enough for Sousa to hear, and Daisy stops in her tracks.

“I thought it was the obvious. I got the sense he was weighing his days after nearly dying. But he’s been waiting for you, hasn’t he?”

Daisy nods, sheepishly, turning back to meet eyes that impossibly seem to already know what’s about to happen. “To be fair,” she answers, truthfully, “I was waiting for him, too.”

The S.H.I.E.L.D. founder gives her a small smile then, and to her surprise, it’s one she recognizes from the mirror. It’s genuine, but sad, and Daisy feels it even deeper because she knows that an affection for the kind and loyal man waiting on them both isn’t the only emotional baggage they have in common. (A very small, very selfish part of her counts her blessings, though, that the other woman hadn’t been able to love Sousa the way he deserves.)

She nods in return, and makes her way back down the hallway, back through the cluttered room, back out to the alley, and back to where she first landed, where she ends up standing, waiting, twisting her hands nervously for the second time in just a few hours. But before she even has long enough to start worry that he’s having second thoughts, Daniel rounds the corner with a suitcase in hand and a grin on his face she wants to remember forever.

“You’re ready?” she asks. He nods, never breaking his stride or her gaze. “You’re sure?”

“I told you,” he assures, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “my answer’s not changing.”

“And Carter?” She takes his hand to step him back against the building, away from where their portal might appear. It’s only partially a distraction from an nerves that might be lingering on her face.

“She understands.” Sousa laces their fingers together and squeezes. “And I may have told her there’s a chance I could pop back around someday, if she needs me.”

He’s not totally out of line. Fitz had warned that the tech was to be used for emergencies only, but Simmons will surely convince him that anything involving Peggy Carter constitutes a proper emergency.

“She doesn’t seem like someone who would be very supportive of a team member jumping ship mid-mission,” Daisy observes, aiming for casual, as she uncloaks the device, which is, thankfully, right where she left it. “Pun not intended.”

“She’s not, usually. But I told her the truth.” A spark of fear lights inside her chest, but he puts it out immediately. “Just enough of it. I trust her.”

“Well, if there’s anyone who can keep a secret...”

Daniel ducks his head in agreement and adds softly, “And then... I asked her if there was anything she wouldn’t do, to have more time.”

There it is again, that cymbal crash of her heart that takes her breath away. Daisy’s never known a man like this, and while she knows the future is always uncertain, she’s grateful to the abstract laws of time, science, fate and whatever else that she doesn’t have to lose him to the past.

“So, where are we headed?” Daniel follows her into the booth with a hand at the small of her back. It’s a bit of a tighter fit than her arrival trip, but neither of them mind in the slightest.

“If the wind is right, English countryside, 2020,” she answers with a grin. It’s a bit of luck that threading her arms around his neck allows her to kiss him and press the button on her wrist at the same time.

“We’re going home, Agent Sousa.”

#first mate fic #dousy #daisy x sousa #daisy johnson #daniel sousa #sousy #daisysous #agents of shield #dousy fic #aos fic

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eclecticwordblender · 4 years

Text

Part 3 of the Mahabharata High school AU:

(I’ll attach the link to the first two oarts below. Check them out if you haven’t uwu <3.)

Junior students in the limelight:

Abhimanyu:

Is everybody’s favourite- seniors, teachers, principal, classmates, juniors- EVERYONE LOVES HIM.

Is literally perfection.

Very popular.

All the dirty politics which makes the people in school hate each other is put aside when it comes to going to the junior section and pampering Abhi.

Ma’am Kunti once saw Abhimanyu hanging out with Arjuna and Subhadra, she clicked a picture because she couldn’t stop uwu-ing.

Has all the good qualities he looks up to in his seniors.

Is a precious baby who must be protected at all costs.

“I’ll be better than the best someday.”- boy isn’t wrong!

Ghatotkach:

Super tall.

Chubby.

Is sick of being taller than all his classmates.

A senior, Hidimbi tends to use him as a comforting source. It is very wholesome.

Often goes to Bheema because he wants to be just as good at basketball.

“Hidimbi didi, thanks for the amazing food. I’ll now go practice basketball with Bheema bhaiya.”

Iravan:

The nice rich kid.

Always puts others before himself even at this tender age.

Stays mostly to himself.

But one knows he’s going to do wonders when he grows up.

Once Shiva cane to school for a guest lecture and say Iravan offering someone else his lunch and staying hungry himself. Shiva gave him a chocolate and told Iravan that whenever he needs help Shiva is just a call away. Fr though Shiva always checks up on this kid.

“Umm it’s okay. You can have my life too if you want.”

Uttara:

Has a twin brother.

Cute kid.

too mature for her age.

Heart eyes for cutie Abhi. Abhi heart eyes back.

Teachers don’t let her and Abhimanyu sit together because they don’t stop talking and smiling.

Is a pro dancer. Already has a diploma in Kathak.

Kind of emotional. Cries a lot.

But is still strong, regardless.

“No Abhimanyu. We cannot have a play date today. I have my dance performance.”

Uttar:

Uttara’s twin brother.

Overexcited but in a good way.

Brave.

Gets into accidents A LOT.

Uttar’s most visited spot is the infirmary. The person who knows him best is the school nurse.

Uttar always finds ways to miss dance and music and English class.

“Ah! A fracture again! At least I get to skip the annoying girly dance stuff though.”

Vrishaketu:

Abhimanyu’s bestf because they’re so similar.

Tends to be a little attention deprived.

Can make anyone a friend, LITERALLY.

Krishna group and Dury group come together when it comes to meeting this kid.

Arjuna and Karna put aside their differences to train him for soccer together. One can say Arjuna and Karna could’ve been very good friends had it not been for coach Drona.

“I wish Arjun bhaiya and Karna bhaiya didn’t dislike each other so much.”

(I didn’t include any more kids because there isn’t much to write and I don’t want to make this boring. I’ll leave footnotes if I use any other kids in the fic stories later.)

Present day staff:

(that I forgot to mention)

Virata:

Being helpful makes up for 90% of his personality.

Very approachable.

Never turns his students down.

Volunteers to take up a substitute class whenever possible.

“Let me handle this!”

Keechaka:

The only person who finds him tolerable is Sudeshna.

Extremely controlling.

Filled with toxic masculinity.

Pervert 2.0 (1.0 being Dushasana and 3.0 being Jayadaratha).

Keechaka was passing lewd comments to Draupadi. She was on her way to make him face the consequences but before she reached Bheema had already taken care of him ;).

Shalya:

Indecisive and flaky.

Messes up his schedule and ends up in the wrong classes.

Speaks a lot.

Stubborn.

Always confused.

“I don’t know what I’m doing dude!Let alone why!”

Sudeshna:

Toxic Gossip monger.

Can be very selfish.

Turns blind to her bestf, Keechaka’s glaring and problematic flaws.

Created a scene when Bheem gave Keechaka the beating he deserved.

Also defended him when Yuyutsu publicly called out and humiliated Keechaka for disrespecting women.

Hates Draupadi.

Intolerant.

Can be narrow minded.

“Keechaka isn’t wrong. You have a misunderstanding! These are the ways of the world”

Indra:

Coordinator but everyone ignores him.

Probelmatic in all caps.

Has to interfere everywhere.

Shows up at the worst possible times.

Creates unnecessary problems and then plays the victim card.

Sexist.

“This isn’t a woman’s work.”

Vichitravirya:

Grossly incompetent.

Old.

Is in school only because Satyavati insisted.

Irresponsible.

Doesn’t show up to classes and even when he does the students decide to bunk. He doesn’t even find out.

Has a history of showing up to classes drunk.

“No I’m not drunk. You are.”- passes out in the middle of a lecture.

Senior students in the limelight:

(that I couldn’t fit in the previous post)

Devika:

Quiet.

Happy go lucky.

Literally an angel.

Only one in class who finds Yudhishthir somewhat tolerable.

Is dating the head boy. Nobody understands why she thinks he has potential.

Vrushali:

Sorted and organised.

Probably has more kinds of stick notes than books in her school bag.

Highlighted text books.

Courageous.

Calm but will fight you.

Karna’s girlfriend. Only one who can scold him and show him the right thing to do, ngl.

Vrushali tries very hard to get Karna out of the Dury gang, however, doesn’t try to manipulate/control him.

Once Vrushali dragged Karna while he was mid conversation with Duryodhana, planning to pull a mischief that would land him into trouble. Everyone just stared. It was very iconic.

Valandhara:

Mountain girl uwu.

Industrious to the fullest.

The friend who can calm down Bheem.

Independent.

Vijaya:

Straight A student.

Gives Sahadev full on competition in topping the class.

Nerd.

Reads a lot.

Vijaya looks so cute with her oversized glasses barely able to rest on the bridge of her adorable button nose.

Sahadev fell for her over a conversation about the meaning of life. They kind of have a thing going.

“*random classic literature reference*”

Karenumati:

Is well aware about how pretty she is.

Nakul talks to her without hesitation.

A word around the campus says that Nakul might even ask her out soon.

Shishupal spread the word though, can’t say about the credibility.

Although for some reason Shishupal is very protective of her.

Plays bass and drums.

Link to part 1 of Mahabharata high school AU: https://eclecticwordblender.tumblr.com/post/625462681921568768/foundation

Link to part 2 of Mahabharata high school AU: https://eclecticwordblender.tumblr.com/post/625553068102139904/senior-students-in-the-limelight

This is the last post dealing witch characterisation. I’ll be publishing fictional stories after this. Will leave footnotes if I use a character I haven’t mentioned yet. Let me know if you want me to write about a specific character (via asks, comments or direct messages).

Tagging fandom mutuals because I need attention to matter in life: @bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @supermeh-krishnafan @soniaoutloud @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @lemponkoira @incorrectmahabharatquotes @chaanv @hoeticulture @hindumythologyevent

The support on this series has been overwhelming so shoutout to these people for all the validation: @the-rambling-maiden @muralofmyths @starsailororastronaut @blueguardian1306

Also, y’all check out @askhindumyths if you like such content uwu.

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klein-archive · 3 years

Text

Memories in feelings

8th June 2021

This will be my (Jane Milton’s) last blog post before handing over to the new Melanie Klein Trust archivist, Christine English. I know that Christine has already identified some very interesting archival material that she will be sharing on the blog - which I am certainly looking forward to reading.

So, to round off my always stimulating, fruitful time exploring the Klein archives (though I will continue to refer to them) here are some clinical notes I came across recently, which I hope will be thought-provoking.

Klein discusses what she calls ‘memories in feelings’ several times in the third and fourth volumes of her Writings. For example, an important footnote to page 180 of Envy and Gratitude reads:

All this [referring to early phantasies concerning the breast] is felt by the infant in much more primitive ways than language can express. When these pre-verbal emotions and phantasies are revived in the transference situation, they appear as ‘memories in feelings’, as I would call them, and are reconstructed and put into words with the help of the analyst. In the same way, words have to be used when we are reconstructing and describing other phenomena belonging to the early stages of development. In fact we cannot translate the language of the unconscious into consciousness without lending it words from our conscious realm (Klein 1957).

In archive file PP/KLE/D.11, I found a detailed and complicated example of a ‘memory in feeling’, together with Klein’s interpretations of and reflections on it, in the analysis of a man in his late forties, whom she calls ‘Mr X’.

In the second half of file D.11, Klein discusses the difficulties that the patient is having, in integrating feelings towards his parents with the analytic transference situation. The analyst is sometimes spared the complex and contradictory negative feelings felt towards the primary objects, while, at other times, the situation with the parents is idealised, and the analysis and analyst denigrated. The following material appears in the digitised collection as images 18, 20 and 22-28 (omitting some pages which are crossed out and do not appear to belong to the sequence):

---

I could give you many more instances of attitudes, which have all in common the attempt on the part of the patient to avoid a synthesis between the various aspects of figures and relations, which have come to focus on the analyst. The point here is that the synthesis, which the patient has not been able to establish sufficiently in the past is bound up in the various anxieties coming to the fore. The analyst is loved and hated, as other people in the patient’s life were earlier on, and the patient resorts to all sorts of defences and among them the process of splitting figures and situations, in order to avoid the relations that these various aspects represent, the various aspects of the mother and father. It is, therefore, our work to help him to experience again and again - and this is a slow process we know - the realisation, that he has only divided up, split his ego, his relations with people, and the people themselves, in the attempt to avoid conflict, anxiety and guilt. Our interpretations aim at synthesis, but the synthesis can only be achieved piecemeal, and again and again the patient has to be confronted with experiencing conflict and suffering, which he has tried to avoid in the past.

Re memories in feelings: (to George)

[George is a child Klein saw between the ages of 3 and 8, in the 1930s, who appears in two of the ‘restricted’ files B.39 and B.40]

This brings me to a point which applies to adults as well as to some extent to children. We know how important it is to revive in our patients[’] memories. We however also know that such memories can be extremely falsified. This is included in the concept of cover memories. So while it is beneficial to get as many memories as possible, it is in connection with emotions, desires, anxieties which partly led to these memories, and which these past experiences were connected with, that we have to understand any situation in the past as well as in the present. We should never rest content with just having past experiences as it were reconstructed in the analysis, because we must not treat them as it were as isolated events. Only if we are able to bring out the whole situation of feelings, anxieties, fitting into the development as a whole, we can feel that we have benefitted sufficiently from the revival of memories. Now there would probably be no difference of opinion on that point. I still think it is worthwhile mentioning, for there are stages of development of which we cannot get memories in the full sense of the word, expressed by words, and in the clear-cut way in which memories of a later stage may appear. And yet they are memories of feelings.

Refer back to Mary in this connection - reproducing the situation of the baby (lamb) with all the oral details attached to it [it is not clear to whom Klein is referring here]

A VERY EARLY MEMORY IN FEELING

Man Patient X (age: just under fifty) 8th February 1946

In identification with the little child who was teething and woke at night repeatedly crying, the father felt suddenly, having just woken from sleep, what an “awful thing was going on in the child”. He had a vision of something growing out of the soft mouth, flesh being contrasted here to something very hard like spikes which were somehow thrust on him (because by now he felt it happening to himself and not to the child) and being forced to push these spikes together. (this was shown by a gesture). And a terrible feeling how awful that must be. At this moment, when visualising the spikes coming together, he had a vision of these hard things outside him, and “death-head” was the next association to it. The feeling of grievance that he could not stop that happening, that this whole thing had been thrust on him, that something had made these spikes come out, and that he had no more control over these spikes because again something forced him to push these spikes together.

Now these feelings he found extremely difficult to put into words, while he was otherwise very vocal. It seemed as if they just could not be put into words. And he fully agreed when I suggested that this incapacity was due to the fact that such things may be felt but not thought of in words at a very early stage. The one stimulus for experiencing what quite obviously was a memory in feeling was the identification with the little daughter. Another is the transference situation at the moment.

In the preceding hour some guilt about leaving the responsibility all his life too much with other people, or rather a tendency towards that which was very much controlled, had come up. Facing that, a very high appreciation of the value of the analysis and the effects, and a feeling of unworthiness in having it, had become quite clear. A particular association was leaving the responsibility for sweets (tuck at school) with the mother. He would not take sweets with him after the holidays, but she should rather send them. They were packed into a tin, and there seemed something very wrong about that, an inexplicable feeling that it was not, as it were, her job to send them in a way which left some responsibility with her which she should not have. This had connected with feelings that however valuable the analysis might be, he does not make the best of it, or won’t do in the future.

My suggestion in the preceding hour had been that he would use the interpretations, and the analysis, in the wrong way, that he would not make the best of it. Now an association produced on the 7th was that after having left me, at the moment of going out of the room, he had suddenly had an association that in fact he would make use of the analysis in such a way that it would improve his earning capacity, and he disliked the thought that he would use it to make money.

Now there are here two trends of thought which became quite clear in the present hour: The good thing, the milk, the nipple, taken in would be changed into faeces and thus be completely destroyed – money making – bad purposes.

This is the way in which the nipple, and now my interpretations, would be treated while being taken in. The object would be destroyed, the “death head”, which himself felt was a later elaboration of what was felt dangerously destroyed in those early days, is the object- in this case me. Therefor the tin in which the sweets were packed is not only his inside in which he should not take the sweets, but it is more specifically the mouth and the teeth (the edges of the tin).

The very strong feeling that it was not his fault, because it was pushed, thrust on him, seems to connect with the nipple being pushed into him. And here the object itself becomes the teeth, a condensation of what is being done to the object and reflected in his attitude towards him. Also why was the nipple given to him? But there seemed to have been in fact at the very beginning of feeding great difficulties because the mother had been very ill, and X has a feeling- not supported by what he had heard- that for some time she could not have fed him. In his view, since she was so ill at his birth, some weeks could have elapsed before she could feed him. A view which seems rather phantastic when he was going over it in this hour, because what would have happened to the milk?

He had been told that his breast feeding otherwise had been normal up to about 8 months but with the strong feeling that to begin with there had been a long gap, a very long time before he started on it. The present impression was that he might have had very great difficulties in taking the nipple, perhaps because of a break in the beginning or perhaps because of fears, as the mother, who was on the whole affectionate and patient, was apt to be erratic and if things did not go well, impatient. The possibility appears that if at the beginning of the feeding there had been difficulties due to starting a little too late with the breast being given and to his difficulties, she might have been impatient and thrust the nipple into his mouth.

Very fundamental attitudes seem to be connected with this. Incapacity to make use of very great gifts in him, of choosing, or trying to get the best thing, to make use of opportunities – against that in the same way a tendency to thrust responsibility on to others which was in fact not carried out. A very strong drive to get the best opportunities and also to make use of them, but with a constant conflict over these two attitudes which no doubt had to some extent a paralysing effect.

An interesting point is the vision of the “death head” in front of the mouth, outside. It seems to show so closely the process of the object still outside and at the same time already internalised and again externalised – on the boundary. As well as the actual external object, the nipple, changed into this destroyed object.

Memories in feelings are not an unknown fact. But this should be put versus what is called “memories”. I find them in such ways also with adults, that the whole situation becomes alive. All this shows in attitudes and is connected with the transference situation.

--------------------------

References:

Klein, Melanie (1957) Envy and Gratitude. In Envy and Gratitude and Other Works, The Writings of Melanie Klein Volume III. London: Hogarth 1975.

#melanie klein #psychoanalysis #memory #transference #child development #internal objects #good breast #internal conflict #ambivalence

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maserati-yokota · 5 years

Text

AJW SUPER HURRICANE Commercial Tape 4/9/94

Rie Tamada vs. Chaparrita ASARI

This is ostensibly a rookies match but Tamada had been at it since 91 and ASARI since 92 so really this is just a juniors match. Tamada ties ASARI up like a bow in an attempt to keep her off her feet. The crowd couldn’t care less, but despite the wealth of talent on this show, the crowd seemed to all have dosed with Niquil so don't worry about it. This is perfectly fine and easily the best singles match either of them produced in their early days. Don't let the perverts in the audience sway you.

Mr. Buddhaman vs. Tomezo Tsunokake No firecrackers in this one! Lots of spots they worked around the circuit but also some pretty brutal spots. The crowd thinks this is comedy because the crowd is awful people. There are way worse ways to spend your time. These two could've lead a whole goddamn promotion.

Suzuka Minami & Tomoko Watanabe vs. Takako Inoue & Kaoru Ito I think even at this point Suzuka was still under the shadow of her former tag partner Hokuto, so the crowd is expecting a less than fiery performances from her. But everybody here shows the fuck up. Another counterpoint for everybody who says these four never blossomed. Haters never die.

Zen Nihon Senshukenjiai: Mima Shimoda vs. Miki Handa Miki Handa is sadly a footnote of the era. But in reality she was to LLPW what Plum was to JWP; she takes a colossal ass-kicking like an Absolute Girl and makes you love her and want her to win even though you know it ain't likely. In terms of the inevitability of CTE, that sucks a lot; but in terms of the wrestling narrative of the era (and still evident today, i.e. how Tam Nakano is booked in Stardom) it’s fun to have somebody who’s good at chasing and bad at catching. Stan Hansen? Great at chasing; didn't work as a champ. Ya feel me? Handa catches Shimoda with a quick German at the bell. Shimoda responds by doing the rope spot the world was tired of years before it finally stopped happening. Test of strength into finger stomp. Shimoda was LCO from the jump! Suzuka Minami on commentary, per usual. Shimoda doing joint manipulation and folding Handa into an origami frog is PEAK Shimoda. If Shimoda is Hokuto Lite, Handa is Cuty Suzuki Lite. Neither of those things are bad. Most of us will never be anywhere near that good at anything.

Shimoda throws Handa into every metal surface in Tokyo. Handa sells it by being THOROUGHLY peeved, then vertical suplexes her like a frilly Jumbo Tsuruta. Makes no sense but such is televised wrestling. You watch for the glorious moments when things coalesce into something greater than their constituent parts. Shimoda proves she's the WCW Ric Flair of the era by refusing to sell for anyone and just going thru her standard shit. UNTIL Handa gets her in a surfboard and then Shimoda looks like she's recovering from a visit to the dentist's. Weird sell but ok. Handa is def selling her part of the story--that Shimoda sucks on the mat; which we all knew but weren't sure would be enough to put her away. Surprise! It isn't. Mostly cuz Shimoda doesn't really ever wanna do business.

Zenjo vs. LLPW: Etsuko Mita vs. Eagle Sawai I can tell by the opening mat sequence that this is gonna be a 100hrs long. Eagle could go, she just always got mired in the mid-card sludge cuz no one in upper management thought she was photo book material. Mita Etsuko without a bright pink chair to hit folks with is rarely a Mita Etsuko you wanna watch.

Bull Nakano & Sakie Hasegawa vs. Manami Toyota & Kyoko Inoue Holy shit! How is this buried in this largely-forgotten event? Peak era for pretty much everyone involved. Hasegawa in upstart heel mode is a mood for the ages. She jukes Inoue and Toyota, Bull takes one step into the ring, and the crowd goes pale. Bull and Hasegawa take turns turning Toyota into a balloon animal ripe for popping. Hasegawa Tiger Suplexes Inoue into a billion day-glo shards. Hasegawa sells a top-rope DDT like someone everyone knows survived a catastrophic neck injury just a few years before--which is to say, like, "...that's all you got?" Bull doing a vertical suplex with a bridge is the rarest Bull; the crowd is a fog of question marks. Toyota's mouth is dripping blood. Hasegawa's spinning heel kick would still pop a crowd into a froth today. Watching her toss Toyota off when she goes for the lucha roll is so cathartic; no one wants to see a funny move done without a shred of irony. It is to Toyota's career as male pattern baldness is to Shawn Michaels. Why not have fun with it? Toyota does the German Airshow Leap to the outside and eats shit. (She's still bloodied, btw.) Bull figures if they both switch off chipping away at Inoue and Toyota, their combined efforts will rule the day. But twas not to be. The Fringe-Lace alliance get that good good W. Toyota realigns her nose and is back to looking crisp for the post-match interview. Hasegawa let's her shiny rainbow singlet, emblazoned with puff-paint, speak for her.

Aja Kong vs. Reggie Bennett This match wasn't even listed on the tape! I had no idea. This is their first encounter and will presumably last longer than their match from Arsion in 98--i.e., I am allowed to blink. No one will ever have better entrance music than AJW-era Aja Kong. It's inconceivable. Reggie has one giant French braid, cut-off overalls and a hardhat and she is your new fashion GOD. Aja does some Muta bits like spitting mist and doing a flying shoulder block. I'm glad the crowd enjoyed it cuz I think it sucked. Despite her present-day role (giving joshi aces a bog-standard 30min match on a monthly basis), Aja Kong transcends conventional gimmickry. She doesn't need that shit. Her reputation precedes her. It's at this point I notice Reggie Bennett is a beast who absolutely mauls Aja for the first 15min like no one I've ever seen. It's not just the booking; she legit tosses her around like my cat bats a balled-up tissue. Where is the Reggie Bennett shoot interview??? Aja shotays her way out of danger until they go into the crowd segment. Will Reggie blade?? Will she ever do a shoot interview? No and no. She does, however, power through two brutal lariats only to powerslam Aja! Has that ever happened? I cannot emphasize enough how intense Reggie's pace and strength are in this. Reggie takes a diving elbow to the clavicle and immediately dies. That made no sense. Aja spits yellow mist and now I hate her. Reggie Bennett forever. Post-match, Aja talks shit. Reggie commits herself to training harder. I say it again: Reggie Bennett forever.

Zenjo vs. LLPW: Yumiko Hotta & Toshiyo Yamada vs. Shinobu Kandori & Harley Saito I expect a Golden Corral buffet of kicks. A dumptruck full of kicks. A Nor'Easter of kicks descending upon me like I'm some quaint little hamlet. Kandori and Saito are basically the toughest LLPW had to offer. They're ready for Yamada and Hotta, though, and this is up and headed for the first overloaded plate of kicks before the bell has rung. Did Hotta vs Kandori ever happen? Shoulda. Kandori is horngry for AJW BLOOD. Saito is dressed like a tradtional Afghan dancer who has just discovered rave. Hard to say which I love more. Yamada kicks Kandori right in the jaw and...yeah no I've made my decision; I love that most of all. Hotta seems genuinely afraid of Saito. Kandori taunts Hotta, teasing the showdown, then decks Yamada with the QUICKNESS. This rules. Yamada has stepped up the stiffness for the occasion. You love to see it. Why didn't we get a year of these tag matches like All Japan in 91? Kandori dumps Yamada off her shoulders in one of the most wreckless things I've ever seen in a wrestling ring. Unfuckingreal. Hotta tries to smother Kandori but fears her Fujiwara armbar. As do I. They blunder into the finishing stretch with Saito as the speedbag. Saito never got her due. They seriously could've setup a whole year of main event booking around these four. Yamada finally nails her insanely complicated finisher and the streamers rain down. Structurally awkward but radiating more heat than most well-established feuds.

#joshi #all japan womens #joshi puroresu #puroresu #wrestling review

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sieben9 · 6 years

Text

“the bear and the bow” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I'm watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I'd be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

So…

!!!

Okay. Okay, okay, okay. One thing at a time. Other plots first, so I can gush about this in peace. ...oh, come on, you knew I was gonna.

Under the cut, obviously. Sorry, this is a bit more “recappy” than usual, because my OTP hasn’t had a decent conversation in ages, and I was determined to indulge myself.

how people kept a straight face around that thing, i will never know

Look, guys, you know that I love you, but I wish you'd put down the plot ball for a moment. You were great about realising that Arthur was up to no good back in Camelot--how is it that nobody had even the slightest clue until now? At least they weren't the only ones. Seriously, Arthur, you couldn't stick that mushroom in your pocket? Down your pants? Anything? I get that mushrooms are supposed to burn, but it was a goddamn magic mushroom, you bonehead!

Anyway, the jig's up now, and they might have bigger problems than Arthur, anyway.

...doesn't look good, does it?

Emma. Buddy. Pal. I know you're the Dark One and that comes with its own problems, but if you killed Merlin, we absolutely cannot be friends anymore. Also, I will hunt you down and smack you with the biggest cactus I can find.

::sigh:: Please, just let him be a tree again or something...

And on that cheerful note...

what the hell, merida?

You know, I was going to joke about how calm Belle took being kidnapped by this complete stranger, but let's be honest, this is a "But for me, it was Tuesday" situation for her.

The whole Merida-plot was a bit weaker than I would have liked. Though I'm not going to lie: when she started telling the story of that battle, I was completely convinced that she'd accidentally shot Fergus, and I was ready to fight every single writer on this show with my bare fists. Really glad it didn't come to that, but it does tell me something about the degree of Drama™ this show has conditioned me to expect. And is it just me or is that a kind of... lame reason for the clans to withdraw their support? I get why Merida would lose confidence after that incident, but I think it may have been more believable to say "the clans weren't ready to accept me as queen, yet" rather than make it seem like they were totally on-board with that idea until she failed to make a near-impossible shot on the battlefield. Just saying.

At least she and Belle had phenomenal chemistry in that flashback. Less so in the present-day plot, for obvious reasons, but outside of attempted murder, I'd love to see some more scenes from them.

“belle saying goodbye to her girl of the week at the water’s edge” may not be a pattern, but it’s a weird thing to happen twice

Another thing the flashback set up/echoed very nicely was the concept of "remember what you are fighting for" and that people are often at their bravest when it's for somebody else.

Complaining aside, the climax of flashback!Merida’s subplot was so jawdroppingly awesome that I’m willing to overlook the other nonsense. Yes, yes, I know. Cheap. Look at me not caring.

yes, i know it's physically impossible to do this. and i also do NOT care

This actually made for a relaxing counterpoint to present-day!Merida, who’s… really not in a good place, poor woman. At least we know that after everything is over, she can go back home to her brothers and her kingdom.

Now, before I get into my favourite plot (yes, I am shamelessly playing favourites this episode; sue me), I wanted one dishonourable mention to the one bit in there that I heartily disliked. Namely: was it in any way necessary to retcon Rumple's reason for leaving the war? That's a rhetorical question, by the way, because I can tell you right now that it wasn't. It doesn't add anything to the character or to that story--quite the opposite, in fact--and it messes with character motivations all through the established canon.

I'll just let Nick take this one.

OK, that said, on to the good bits!

::high-pitched whine::

I probably shouldn't be worried, this thing has been through worse, but… he smashed it! I cannot believe he smashed the cup! Yes, yes, I know. It's not the object that's important it's about Belle and what he's willing to do for her, but still. The poor cup. It didn't deserve that.

And then finally, finally, we got the reunion.

Please pardon my language, but about fucking time! I mean, I knew I’d missed seeing them together, but this scene brought it all into focus. And while we’re on it, how dare you use that elevator against me, show? I call foul play!

And oh, the whole “I only came back for you” bit? Yeah, just… rip out my heart and leave it here, I guess. Didn’t really need it, anyway. (Also, this is the point where I got misty-eyed and I kind of cried on and off throughout the rest of that plot. I’m not just built near water, I live in a goddamn houseboat.)

OK, let me put on my analytical hat for a moment, and say that this was such a good story for them both. It shows their relationship dynamic at its best, and after so much time spent separated and/or lying to each other (OK, mostly Rumple lying to Belle, but you get my point), it's just balm for my poor shipper heart.

...now where did that analytical hat go?

Anyway, as I was saying: relationship at its best. They're both protective of each other, but rely on each other, and when Rumple is about to fall into bad habits again, Belle stops him, for his own sake as much as other's.

Though I will say, Belle, that you may have slightly overestimated Rumple's attachment to the people in this town. He may have felt bad about leaving Henry behind, but he probably assumed that if anyone was safe from Emma it was him. All in all, not much of a reason to stay, is what I'm saying.

And then there was the whole scene in the woods.

Before I get to anything else, I want to mention the possibly most hilarious bit of this episode:

Just. Belle. Running in the woods. In heels. At night.

Yeah, don't try this at home, kids.

Oh, but this entire scene was perfect. I want to frame the whole thing and put it up on my wall, so I can look at it when I'm feeling down. The two of them being protective of each other. Both clearly terrified and both refusing to back down while the other is still in danger.

The setup for this scene was excellent, too. Everything they talked about before, everything they did—from hiding in the shop, to Rumple's escape attempt in the car— built towards the emotional payoff in this moment, when Rumple turns up with that ridiculous sword. Which, I might add, he didn't need in the end, because that's not how his kind of courage works. Also, I must be losing my touch, because that anti-transformation dust could not have been set up more bluntly, and yet I didn't realise what it was for until he used it.

though from what i gather, he wasn’t too sure about it, either

Can we please have more of this? Not just the happy post-debearing (yes, that’s a word now) moments, but the whole package of affection, honesty, and benign arguments. You know–character growth.

Speaking of which…

Nice little finish to that particular subplot, although we all know the real “hero moment” happened in the woods. This felt important, but it really wasn’t dramatically emphasised. It was more like a footnote of “oh, yeah, of course he can pull out the sword”.

And Rumple’s threat to Emma? Hellll, yes. He’s right, too–nobody else knows how the Dark One works the way he does. Like he said earlier, in some ways, he knows Emma better than she knows herself right now. Six weeks experience of carrying that curse vs. 200+? Yeah, I wouldn’t exactly put my money on Emma in this scenario.

(Very) long story short: this episode was amazing and I’m excited to see where this goes.

(Also, yes, I am aware that Status Quo Is God on this show and that the current situation won’t last forever, but damnit, I’m determined to enjoy the ride.)

#ouat #once upon a time #the bear and the bow #sieben watches ouat #sieben talks #i loved this episode #SO MUCH!#i get the hype now #i really do

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loveofyhwh · 5 years

Text

January 13: Genesis 25–26; Matthew 7:13–29; Psalm 13; Proverbs 3:28–35

New Post has been published on https://loveofyhwh.com/january-13-genesis-25-26-matthew-713-29-psalm-13-proverbs-328-35/

January 13: Genesis 25–26; Matthew 7:13–29; Psalm 13; Proverbs 3:28–35

Old Testament:

Genesis 25–26

Genesis 25–26 (Listen)

Abraham’s Death and His Descendants

25 Abraham took another wife, whose name was Keturah. 2 She bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah. 3 Jokshan fathered Sheba and Dedan. The sons of Dedan were Asshurim, Letushim, and Leummim. 4 The sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida, and Eldaah. All these were the children of Keturah. 5 Abraham gave all he had to Isaac. 6 But to the sons of his concubines Abraham gave gifts, and while he was still living he sent them away from his son Isaac, eastward to the east country.

7 These are the days of the years of Abraham’s life, 175 years. 8 Abraham breathed his last and died in a good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people. 9 Isaac and Ishmael his sons buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, east of Mamre, 10 the field that Abraham purchased from the Hittites. There Abraham was buried, with Sarah his wife. 11 After the death of Abraham, God blessed Isaac his son. And Isaac settled at Beer-lahai-roi.

12 These are the generations of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, whom Hagar the Egyptian, Sarah’s servant, bore to Abraham. 13 These are the names of the sons of Ishmael, named in the order of their birth: Nebaioth, the firstborn of Ishmael; and Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, 14 Mishma, Dumah, Massa, 15 Hadad, Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. 16 These are the sons of Ishmael and these are their names, by their villages and by their encampments, twelve princes according to their tribes. 17 (These are the years of the life of Ishmael: 137 years. He breathed his last and died, and was gathered to his people.) 18 They settled from Havilah to Shur, which is opposite Egypt in the direction of Assyria. He settledHebrew fell‘>1 over against all his kinsmen.

The Birth of Esau and Jacob

19 These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abraham fathered Isaac, 20 and Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his wife. 21 And Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren. And the LORD granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. 22 The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?”Or why do I live?‘>2 So she went to inquire of the LORD. 23 And the LORD said to her,

“Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within youOr from birth‘>3 shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.”

24 When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25 The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. 26 Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel, so his name was called Jacob.Jacob means He takes by the heel, or He cheats‘>4 Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.

27 When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. 28 Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Esau Sells His Birthright

29 Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. 30 And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom.Edom sounds like the Hebrew for red‘>5) 31 Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” 32 Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” 33 Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

God’s Promise to Isaac

26 Now there was a famine in the land, besides the former famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went to Gerar to Abimelech king of the Philistines. 2 And the LORD appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; dwell in the land of which I shall tell you. 3 Sojourn in this land, and I will be with you and will bless you, for to you and to your offspring I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath that I swore to Abraham your father. 4 I will multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and will give to your offspring all these lands. And in your offspring all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, 5 because Abraham obeyed my voice and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.”

Isaac and Abimelech

6 So Isaac settled in Gerar. 7 When the men of the place asked him about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” for he feared to say, “My wife,” thinking, “lest the men of the place should kill me because of Rebekah,” because she was attractive in appearance. 8 When he had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw Isaac laughing withHebrew may suggest an intimate relationship‘>6 Rebekah his wife. 9 So Abimelech called Isaac and said, “Behold, she is your wife. How then could you say, ‘She is my sister’?” Isaac said to him, “Because I thought, ‘Lest I die because of her.’” 10 Abimelech said, “What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.” 11 So Abimelech warned all the people, saying, “Whoever touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.”

12 And Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold. The LORD blessed him, 13 and the man became rich, and gained more and more until he became very wealthy. 14 He had possessions of flocks and herds and many servants, so that the Philistines envied him. 15 (Now the Philistines had stopped and filled with earth all the wells that his father’s servants had dug in the days of Abraham his father.) 16 And Abimelech said to Isaac, “Go away from us, for you are much mightier than we.”

17 So Isaac departed from there and encamped in the Valley of Gerar and settled there. 18 And Isaac dug again the wells of water that had been dug in the days of Abraham his father, which the Philistines had stopped after the death of Abraham. And he gave them the names that his father had given them. 19 But when Isaac’s servants dug in the valley and found there a well of spring water, 20 the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac’s herdsmen, saying, “The water is ours.” So he called the name of the well Esek,Esek means contention‘>7 because they contended with him. 21 Then they dug another well, and they quarreled over that also, so he called its name Sitnah.Sitnah means enmity‘>8 22 And he moved from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it. So he called its name Rehoboth,Rehoboth means broad places, or room‘>9 saying, “For now the LORD has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.”

23 From there he went up to Beersheba. 24 And the LORD appeared to him the same night and said, “I am the God of Abraham your father. Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you and multiply your offspring for my servant Abraham’s sake.” 25 So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the LORD and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well.

26 When Abimelech went to him from Gerar with Ahuzzath his adviser and Phicol the commander of his army, 27 Isaac said to them, “Why have you come to me, seeing that you hate me and have sent me away from you?” 28 They said, “We see plainly that the LORD has been with you. So we said, let there be a sworn pact between us, between you and us, and let us make a covenant with you, 29 that you will do us no harm, just as we have not touched you and have done to you nothing but good and have sent you away in peace. You are now the blessed of the LORD.” 30 So he made them a feast, and they ate and drank. 31 In the morning they rose early and exchanged oaths. And Isaac sent them on their way, and they departed from him in peace. 32 That same day Isaac’s servants came and told him about the well that they had dug and said to him, “We have found water.” 33 He called it Shibah;Shibah sounds like the Hebrew for oath‘>10 therefore the name of the city is Beersheba to this day.

34 When Esau was forty years old, he took Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite to be his wife, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite, 35 and they made life bitterHebrew they were bitterness of spirit‘>11 for Isaac and Rebekah.

Footnotes

[1] 25:18 Hebrew fell [2] 25:22 Or why do I live? [3] 25:23 Or from birth [4] 25:26 Jacob means He takes by the heel, or He cheats [5] 25:30 Edom sounds like the Hebrew for red [6] 26:8 Hebrew may suggest an intimate relationship [7] 26:20 Esek means contention [8] 26:21 Sitnah means enmity [9] 26:22 Rehoboth means broad places, or room [10] 26:33 Shibah sounds like the Hebrew for oath [11] 26:35 Hebrew they were bitterness of spirit

(ESV)

New Testament:

Matthew 7:13–29

Matthew 7:13–29 (Listen)

13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easySome manuscripts For the way is wide and easy‘>1 that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

A Tree and Its Fruit

15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

I Never Knew You

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Build Your House on the Rock

24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

The Authority of Jesus

28 And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, 29 for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.

Footnotes

[1] 7:13 Some manuscripts For the way is wide and easy

(ESV)

Psalm:

Psalm 13

Psalm 13 (Listen)

How Long, O Lord?

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

13 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, 4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

(ESV)

Proverb:

Proverbs 3:28–35

Proverbs 3:28–35 (Listen)

28 Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you. 29 Do not plan evil against your neighbor, who dwells trustingly beside you. 30 Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. 31 Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways, 32 for the devious person is an abomination to the LORD, but the upright are in his confidence. 33 The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the dwelling of the righteous. 34 Toward the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor.Or grace‘>1 35 The wise will inherit honor, but fools getThe meaning of the Hebrew word is uncertain‘>2 disgrace.

Footnotes

[1] 3:34 Or grace [2] 3:35 The meaning of the Hebrew word is uncertain

(ESV)

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niteshade925 · 5 years

Text

Musings: Vinny and Evan; Jacob and Esau

(Note: This post is basically me taking 3 steps forward reading too deep into stuff, then taking 2 steps back by refuting myself. Not a real theory post, and not something that is important to the discussion. I just wrote this mainly to slap my thoughts down somewhere and have some fun thinking about it. Please don’t read it like a legit thing.)

@watercurse ‘s great post about the connection between Vinny and Evan and Cain and Abel reminded me of a chapter in HoL, chapter XI, where a parallel was drawn between Navidson and Tom and Jacob and Esau. In my previous theory post, I established that there was a parallel between Vinny and Will Navidson of HoL, so there is a bit of possibility that this chapter can be relevant.

However, let me start by saying that while the Vinny-Navidson parallel is pretty clear and definitely worth considering, there is NO parallel between Evan and Tom. Personality wise,

“Tom has far fewer edges than his famous brother. He is soft, easy-going and exudes a kind of peacefulness typically reserved for Buddhist monks” (HoL page 246)

That is clearly not true for Evan. Evan is nearly the complete opposite: he’s hot-headed, and will physically fight the threat when it comes, be it Slenderman or Rake.

But is there a parallel between Evan and Holloway? Chapter XI offers this quote:

“At least Freed Kashon convincingly objects to Ruccalla’s comparison when he points out how really Holloway, not Tom, is the hairy one: ‘His beard, surly appearance, and even his profession as a hunter make Holloway the perfect Esau. The tension between Navidson and Holloway is also more on par with the tension between Jacob and his brother.’” (HoL page 249)

Despite that, I don’t think there are any parallels between them. I did consider this parallel back when I was writing that brainstorming post, but there are reasons why I never posted about this idea. Holloway was very much an in-charge person, like Evan, but his personality was a coping mechanism for his severe depression (see HoL Chapter XIII, the Holloway section), and when his coping mechanism failed him in the abyss of the maze, he went crazy, killed both of his companions, and eventually killed himself. Evan seemed to kill his friends, but it was because of HABIT’s control, not because he wanted to do it. Evan did try to kill himself after realizing what happened, but also failed because of HABIT. And Evan’s in-charge personality was not a coping mechanism for anything, so far as I can see. It’s just his personality. The only way this parallel can be justified at all is if we consider HABIT to be Evan’s crazy alter-ego, which just isn’t feasible at this point. In any case, HABIT alone might be a better parallel to Holloway, if it wasn’t for the whole depression part.

Therefore, this parallel to Navidson and Tom only applies to the relationship between Vinny and Evan. And it’s not exactly strong either. What makes it interesting though, is the book relating that relationship to the one between Jacob and Esau.

Let us start with Johnny’s entire addition to footnote 224 in HoL:

“Note: Regardless of your take on who’s Navidson and who’s Tom, here’s a quick summary for those unfamiliar with this biblical story about twins. Esau’s a hairy, dim-witted hunter. Jacob’s a smooth-skinned, cunning intellectual. Daddy Isaac dotes on Esau because the kid always brings him venison. When the time finally comes for the paternal blessing, Isaac promises to give it to Esau as soon as he brings him some meat. Well while Esau’s off hunting, Jacob, with help from his mother, covers his hands with goat hair so they resemble Esau’s and then approaches his blind father with a bowl full of stew. The ruse works and Isaac thinking the son before him is Esau blesses Jacob instead. When Esau returns, Isaac figures out what’s happened but tells Esau he has no second blessing for him. Esau bawls like a baby and vows to kill Jacob. Jacob runs off and meets god. Years laters the brothers meet up again, make up, but don’t hang together for long. It’s actually pretty sad. See Genesis, chapters 25-33.” (HoL page 247)

“Esau’s a hairy, dim-witted hunter”. Evan is pretty rash and often doesn’t stop to think through things, unlike either Jeff or Vinny.

“Smooth-skinned, cunning intellectual”. Sounds exactly like Vinny from what we now know post All good things. Both HABIT and Evan noted this too:

HABIT: “you seem to be the smartest” (A summoning)

Evan (while fighting Vinny): “He showed me what you did. You snake fuck.” (All good things)

But of course, when Vinny and Evan “meet up again” in All good things, they do not “make up”, which brings us to this quote:

“The degree of Esau and Jacob’s struggle is emphasized by the word vayitrozzu which comes from the root rzz meaning “to tear apart, to shatter.” The comparison falters, however, when one realizes Will and Tom never indulged in such a violent struggle.” (HoL page 250)

Yes, that’s not true for Navidson and Tom, but it certainly is true for Vinny and Evan. They literally killed each other.

Another interesting passage in Chapter XI:

“Esau’s blessing was stolen with a mask. Tom wears no mask, Will wears a camera. But as Nietzsche wrote, ‘Every profound spirit needs a mask.’” (HoL page 251)

Taking into account the Vinny-Navidson parallel, this becomes interesting, although it still can’t be considered evidence of a parallel. And anyway, what blessing is there? Or do we count “answers” as blessings?

Now back to Johnny’s footnote addition. I cannot find a parallel for “Isaac” in EMH. If this parallel was really complete, that would imply that Evan was somehow willingly involved and competing with Vinny for answers from HABIT, which is not true. If there was anyone more swept up in this whole mess, it was Evan. He was manipulated and used throughout the entire thing by different characters.

Evan: “Hey, um, before we start, I want you to take that. (hands Vinny a knife) And uh, aim for his head?”.........“Vinny, um...you are the last person I have.”

Vin: “I’ll be here when you get back. Promise.”

Evan: “That’s a promise you can’t keep.” (A summoning)

Like Jeff, Evan clearly just wanted to end this whole thing, and he put his faith in Vinny, only for Vinny to betray him in the obsessive pursuit for answers.

But perhaps, this won’t matter.

“‘He (Zampano) did grunt something about there never having been a blessing to begin with, which I thought was pretty interesting. No birthright, all of it a misleading ploy, both brothers fools’” (HoL page 248)

HABIT lied to Vinny. HABIT told Vinny that in order to get answers and return to a quote-on-quote normal life, Vinny must follow his plans to kill a god, who we all assumed to be Slenderman, only for it to turn out to be Evan. It was all a misleading ploy. Both Vinny and Evan were fools, fools in different ways, “a couple of unlucky bastards” in the grand scheme of things. And there might have never been answers to find in the first place. There was only HABIT’s plan, the goal of which remains a mystery. Right now, to me at least.

#emh #everymanhybrid #musings #not really a theory #mostly just tracing my weird thought processes

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stonecoldhedwig · 3 years

Text

Et puis, épuisée // And then, exhausted

This article was posted in the summer of 2019 by Pauline Harmange, but it’s something that has resonated with me ever since I read it in August 2020. I find myself returning to it, thinking about it.

There’s one phrase that hums around in my head a lot from it: J’aurais pu faire sans toutes les micro-agressions d’un quotidien qui n’a pas de place pour les doutes. J’aurais pu apprendre dans la douceur. // I could have done without all the micro-aggressions of a daily life that has no room for doubt. I could have learned gently.

I’ve translated it into English below (thank you, trusty French dictionary), trying to keep the tone of the original piece in mind. Numbered footnotes are the author’s, asterixes are mine.

Tw: abortion; pregnancy; sexism

For several weeks, I’ve been trying to write this article, and I can’t find the right angle. I want, or even need, to talk about the questions I’ve been posing to myself for months now about femininity, about what it is to be a woman at the moment, but how do I talk about all this without falling into an incredible pathos? I feel so out-of-touch with Insta accounts and the warrior-witch-superwoman trend, I don’t know how to articulate these intense, almost negative emotions that come over me as soon as I start to think about it.

Because I’m going to be very honest: right now, I’m exhausted by being a woman.

Before I became a feminist, I was a girl, and that was enough*; it didn’t cause me any headaches. Once I became a feminist, I had to question a lot of things: why I denigrated girls more feminine than me, why I forced myself to wax when I didn’t like it, why I let men comment on my appearance and didn’t stand up for myself, or why I was scared when I was out on the street by myself. It was tiring, but I didn’t feel myself being overwhelmed by the weight of a burden too heavy for me. The truth was that I needed to take breaks. To create sacred rituals that celebrated my period, or to read books with hypernormative gender representations, so as to forget for a few seconds the numbers that made me feel sick (which numbers? Simply put, all of them, because they are all horrible).

And then, I was betrayed by my own flesh. I got pregnant when I had an IUD. (1) I experienced a heartbreak that it is illusory to want to put into words: the heartbreak of ending a pregnancy that should never have occurred, even though I’ve wanted a child for a long time. I nurtured, and still nurture, a black anger towards this life (this society, too) for forcing me to make a choice I don’t regret. How complicated life is.

And ever since that moment, I have had the feeling that life is becoming even more complicated. I feel like I’m suffering. Suffering because my body has struggled to recover from its tiny 5 weeks of pregnancy. Suffering because of my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which ruins my life, as well as suffering from my contraception because no matter where I look, there’s no ideal solution. I am suffering the after-effects of an anorexic adolescence, strewn with bad people, which has crippled the way I look at myself. I suffer that mental load, always so strong, when my IUD is removed and I have to calculate the risk, and deal with the terror of getting pregnant again, the reminders on my phone not to forget my pill, waiting for the next period. I suffer the mood swings, the water retention, the irritability, I suffer that sticky feeling every month before I bleed, of not being able to do anything, especially of not being able to create.

I am even more affected than before by what I already felt: that I am a woman, socialised as such, and that if I want to exist in this world, I must constantly do violence** to myself. In a utopian version of life, I wouldn't need to force myself to speak louder, I wouldn't need to fake it till I make it, I wouldn't have to take on more masculine ways and a self-confidence that I don't have. Because in a utopian version of life, doubts, fragility, sadness and uncertainty would be respected, and I would not be encouraged to be someone other than myself. My body betrays me there again (unless it’s just too faithful this time): whenever I’m confronted with a situation where I don’t want to have to pretend, I sweat a bitter sweat that confirms to me I’m going against what I am. I was going to say “against my nature”, but that’s not it; against my culture, perhaps, or against what I was educated to be. (2)

I'm exhausted by being a feminist, but then again, what can I do about it? I cannot take a vacation from my downtrodden condition, nor from my empathy for the horrible things happening all over the world. I am exhausted though, and angry too, for being a permanent spokesperson for my cause but speaking in an echo chamber. Writing those feminist articles that only women will read. Reading those feminist books and talking about them with other women. I don't listen to any feminist podcasts, by the way, because I'm fed up with content that doesn't teach me much (3) and I'm sickened to see so few men taking their place (silent and humble) in the discussion. What good are all these podcasts and all these articles and all these books, if it's women who buy them, consume them and then regurgitate them to the men around them? Who compensates for the time spent, the energy wasted in teaching men too lazy, too selfish and too vain to educate themselves? (4)

Maybe that's why I don't identify at all with movements of self-gratitude or of celebrating femininity. Being a woman and realising it has made me harder on myself and on others (for example, I really don't have any patience with men anymore, and I’m not ready to apologise). Certainly, I'm stronger, too. I know better how to say no, I know my body better, I have much better tools to manage conflicts than the ones I started with, I let myself do less and I pretend better. But I am convinced that I could have acquired all this knowledge without the violence inherent in a society that does not really want us, we who are not able-bodied, old and wealthy cis-straight white men. I could have done without all the micro-aggressions of a daily life that has no room for doubt. I could have learned gently.

There are, of course, unexpected joys that being a woman brings me. When I read an excellent book written by a brilliant woman, I am overcome with the emotion of being inspired, and I also allow myself (which I never would have done before) to include myself in the circle of these creative women, I allow myself to feel close to them. When I think of the women around me, incredible in their strength, their refusal to compromise, their talents, I am filled with incredible gratitude, because I finally know how to recognise that the work, the luck and the happiness of my sisters do not diminish the value of mine.

But I’ve never had the courage to be a role model, an “inspiring” woman. To exist, women must either fit into boxes (do we really exist then?), or get out of them in a total, radical and claimed way. So much work, once again. I was thinking about this issue this summer as I considered my body hair: to shave? not to shave? I realised that as soon as I went out with visible hairy legs, I tended to dress better, do my hair, and even put on makeup, thus carrying the image of an assumed feminist, whose hair is a message, a standard. Actually, I'm just a big slacker with hyperpilosity, but without my drastic disguise, I was afraid I would simply portray an image of a neglected woman.

It makes no sense, it's not even a liberation anymore. I am discouraged.

I know that it's my fault too, it’s up to me to take a step back and let go, and that my anger and exhaustion are symptoms to deal with, not necessarily emotions from which I will draw positive things in order to move forward. (5) Still, I am where I am today. At war. Feeling like I’m not very far from losing, by the way.

I'm going to take a vacation (from the internet, from life, and from myself) and put things back in an order that makes sense. Who knows, maybe if I put my head deep enough in the sand, when I bring it out in September, the patriarchy will have been abolished? We can but dream.

________________________

(1) Yes, it does happen, but no, it’s not common. Whenever I mention it, women around me who have an IUD look at me in horror and I feel compelled to reassure them, as if I was the only one in the world to whom this could happen. This is not the case, and I do not have the energy to reassure, I’m afraid.

(2) You might call it “stepping out of your comfort zone”, but listen, after a while staying in your comfort zone doesn’t strike me as a delusion-like desire***.

(3) I'm not saying that to brag; it's just that after almost 10 years of feminism and a passion for reading, I'm relatively familiar with a lot of the topics that are now more mainstream.

(4) You don’t need to write to tell me “not all men”. Thank you in advance!

(5) We could talk forever about the idea of “positive”, about how it is often a way of silencing our anger and sweeping away injustices, and that it is a new, fashionable way of policing women, but hey... we need another article for that, and this is not it.

________________________

*the term used in the original article is basta; the Italian for stop. I've treated it as an equivalent of ça suffit, or “that’s enough”.

**I was a bit iffy on whether this should be do violence to or violate so French speakers who are less rusty than me, please forgive me xoxo

***It honestly took me about twenty four reads to work out what this sentence meant, but I did learn the verb “to strike”, so there we are.

#tw abortion #tw pregnancy #tw sexism #feminism #french to english

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dearworldnews · 4 years

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A Mathematician’s Self-Referential Take on “The Black Swan” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Dear World, You can stop asking me what I think of "The Black Swan." I've written it all down.

Being a former academic mathematician with a background in developing fintech software, I am often asked about my opinion of Nassim Nicholas Taleb's book "The Black Swan." My answer used to be that I hadn't read it, although that wasn't quite true. I had starting reading it but soon found myself bored, switching from reading to scanning and then scanning faster and faster. I didn't want to give an opinion on something to which I hadn't been paying much attention, hence the white lie. And then it got worse. People seemed to think that reading this book would change my life or something. They wouldn't stop pestering me about it, giving me copies of it for birthday gifts, things like that. So I decided I had to come clean. I thought the best way to do that would be to take another look at the "The Black Swan" (referred to as TBS in the sequel) and explain why it bores me. So here goes.

As far as prerequisites are concerned, I will not assume that you have read TBS. For mathematical expertise, it suffices to have a decent idea of what a probability distribution is, what the normal distribution is, and the like. If you have some familiarity with the central limit theorem, that's good, but if not, it's just as well.

You will find that reading this review is a somewhat tedious and laborious affair. I am quite confident that this is not my shortcoming, but a reflection of a certain elusiveness of the book's lines of argument. It is perhaps noteworthy that despite the book's enormous popularity, nobody seems to have attempted a passionless mathematically oriented review.

I. Definition of Black Swan Events II. The Fluff III. The Central Distinction: Mild vs. Wild Randomness IV. The Central Thesis: Blindness to the Black Swan V. Predicting the Future VI. The Gaussian Strawman VII. The Lowdown

I. Definition of Black Swan Events Paraphrasing and condensing from pages xvii and xviii of the Prologue to TBS, we can say that Nassim Nicholas Taleb (referred to by the initials NNT in the sequel) defines the central term of his book as follows:

Black swan events are events that are rare, have extreme impact, and are retrospectively, but not prospectively predictable.

The third part, retrospective, but not prospective predictability, bears some explanation. The "prospective" part means of course that we didn't and couldn't predict the event before it happened. The "retrospective" part, as defined by NNT, means that

human nature makes us concoct explanations for its occurrence after the fact, making it explainable and predictable.

The use of the word "concoct" indicates that we're kidding ourselves into thinking that the event really was predictable when it wasn't. There is of course an enormous amount of truth in that: hindsight bias, the infamous 20/20 hindsight, has been extensively studied. But it also seems to me that part of our evolutionary process has always been to perform perfectly rational post-mortem analyses of these events, thereby indeed, over time, improving our ability to predict them or lower their impact. I have to admit that not mentioning this at all makes me suspect a case of confirmation bias. But we're still in the prologue, so we'll just put a pin in that for now and continue.

II. The Fluff TBS is sprinkled with stories from NNT's personal life. My interest in those is zero. That's all I can tell you, except to say that I just did the same thing, telling a personal anecdote, in the opening paragraph above. Therefore, my criticism is self-referential. That's bad, because in a more formal setting, self-referential criticism is valid if and only if it is not valid. But as I said in my personal anecdote (!) above, I never wanted to talk about TBS in the first place…

TBS contains some amount of fiction. Chapter Two in its entirety is fiction, as NNT informs us in a footnote on the first page of Chapter Three. It's not quality fiction in my opinion, and I was bored by it. Other opinions may be possible, but by no stretch of the imagination does the fiction contribute anything to making TBS a recommendable book.

TBS also contains numerous historical and biographical references and anecdotes. This is indicative of a well-read and well-educated author, which is good. For me, however, these references and anecdotes were too scattered and disconnected to be of much value. Different opinions are possible, of course, in this regard. But it seems clear to me that none of this warrants anything close to a must-read recommendation.

A small part of TBS, mostly in Chapter Five, is devoted to explaining and correcting some trivial logical errors that people tend to make, like this one:

[…] if you tell people that the key to success is not always skills, they think that you are telling them that it is never skills, always luck.

That's very commendable, and as a former teacher of mathematics and computer science, I'm all for it. But you wanted my opinion as a mathematician, and the one group that is not in need of these explanations is mathematicians and mathematically inclined people, so I'm still bored. Also, these explanations, while correct and well-written, are not in any way so numerous or extraordinary as to justify a special recommendation for the book.

Some statements and explanations in TBS are such gross simplifications that their informative and illustrative value tends to zero, to the extent that one cannot help but consider them fluff:

The Apple technology is vastly better [than Microsoft], yet the inferior software won the day. How? Luck.

You may argue that referring to the things that I have mentioned so far as fluff is unfair or even inappropriate. Under different circumstances, I would agree. But this critique is written against the backdrop of some acquaintances of mine—and some journalists and pundits as well, for that matter—calling the book a masterpiece, insightful, a must-read for a mathematician like myself, and the like. Measured by those standards, everything I've mentioned thus far is fluff. [1]

As a matter of fairness, I should mention that on page xxvii of the Prologue to TBS, NNT gives a justification for the extensive use of stories and anecdotes in the book:

You need a story to displace a story. Metaphors and stories are far more potent (alas) than ideas; they are also easier to remember and more fun to read. […] Ideas come and go, stories stay.

I like a story as much as the next guy, but I assure you that the above does not apply in the realm of mathematics and statistics. At this point, I am quite comfortable with the prediction that TBS won't be a mathematically relevant book. But then it doesn't have to be. Let us not be deterred from reading on with an open mind.

III. The Central Distinction: Mild vs. Wild Randomness Chapter Three of TBS sets up what NNT calls the central distinction of TBS, the grouping of all matters that are subject to randomness into two categories, charaterized by mild randomness and wild randomness. The table on p. 36 nicely summarizes the distinction.

Given the fact that TBS is dedicated to Benoît Mandelbrot, and moreover, NNT and Mandelbrot have co-authored an article [2], we may assume that NNT was familiar with Mandelbrot's concept of seven states of randomness. In his early work, Mandelbrot actually started out with the three states mild, slow and wild. He later refined those into seven states, the first of which is mild and the sixth of which is wild. It is clear that NNT's two categories of mild and wild randomness are much inspired by Mandelbrot's three or seven states. There is of course nothing wrong with such an adaptation and simplification. If it serves the purpose of the book, why not. However, I have two comments, one regarding ethical rigor and another regarding mathematical rigor.

Ethical Rigor: In a scientific publication, such an adaptation is permissible only if the original work is discussed and credit is given to its author(s). Failing to do so would not pass scholarly review. NNT does not state that his two categories are an adaptation of Mandelbrot's work. The number of occurrences of the string "seven states" in TBS is zero. Therefore, TBS does not qualify as a scientific publication. Fine, it doesn't have to. So what about failing to give credit in a non-scientific publication? I personally find it unethical. Others may be more lenient, but the minimal verdict that I am willing to accept is "not great." Giving credit would also have been an opportunity to explain Mandelbrot's concept of "states of randomness" to the uninitiated, as it has not received all the attention that it perhaps deserves. An uncredited simplification from three or seven to two states does not do that for me.

Mathematical Rigor: You will have to excuse the laboriousness of the following discussion, but remember, I never wanted to talk about TBS in the first place. I was goaded into it. So here we go.

Needless to say, the author of a book like TBS is under no obligation to adhere to any standards of mathematical rigor. However, if you use a mathematical term to define and argue a thesis, then you must use that term in a mathematically rigorous and meaningful way. More generally, if you use a technical term from a scientific discipline, then you must abide by the prior definition of that term and the standards of that discipline. I posit that this is a prerequisite of meaningful intellectual debate.

In the last line of the table on p. 36, where the concepts of mild and wild randomness are summarized, NNT says the following about mild randomness:

Events are distributed \(^*\) according to the "bell curve" (the GIF) or its variations.

The acronym GIF has been defined earlier in the book as "Great Intellectual Fraud." That's opinion, so we'll ignore it for the discussion at hand. The star refers us to this footnote:

What I call "probability distribution" here is the model used to calculate the odds of different events, how they are distributed. When I say that an event is distributed according to the "bell curve," I mean that the Gaussian bell curve (after C. F. Gauss; more on him later) can help provide probabilities of various occurrences.

Using the term "bell curve" as a synonym for "Gaussian bell curve," and thus for "normal distribution," is in line with common usage. [3] So that part is a valid and helpful clarification. Substituting synonyms, the last sentence of the footnote becomes

When I say that an event is distributed according to the normal distribution, I mean that the normal distribution can help provide probabilities of various occurrences.

First off, it's not events, but random variables that may or not be normally distributed. Ok, we're not pedants, so we'll let that go. But what does it mean that the normal distribution "can help provide probabilities"? If something is normally distributed, then the normal distribution provides the probabilities. Is this being redefined here as something weaker, as in "can help provide, but doesn't really without additional information"? I find myself unable to make sense of this. We'll have to file it under "use of a term (probability distribution in this case) from a scientific discipline (mathematics in this case) that does not meet the standards of that discipline." As a working hypothesis, I will assume that what NNT really means by "being distributed according to the normal distribution" is exactly what everybody else means by it.

Omitting the reference to the footnote and the GIF reference and substituting a synonym, the characterization of mild randomness in terms of distributions now becomes:

Events are distributed according to the normal distribution or its variations.

So what are "the variations of the normal distribution"? I haven't heard the term before. As we all know, the normal distribution has parameters, so strictly speaking, there is no such thing as the normal distribution. It's a family of infinitely many that are all variations of each other in the sense that they are obtained by varying the parameters. But that's not what could possibly be meant here, because it says "the normal distribution or its variations." So the sentence must be referring to distributions that are variations of the normal distribution but not normal themselves. Since I don't know what those are, I did a web search for "variations of the normal distribution." It turns out that one website, the top hit, actually uses "variations of the normal distribution" to mean the different instances of the normal distribution that are obtained by varying the parameters. That's it.

So now what? I could try to make an intelligent guess as to what's meant by "variations of the normal distribution." Exponential families would be a good guess. But nobody calls these "variations of the normal distribution," so we can't really know. [4] We have no choice but to mark this down as the second use of a term (normal distribution in this case) from a scientific discipline (mathematics in this case) that does not meet the standards of that discipline. That's not good, considering that this is happening in what NNT calls "the central distinction" in TBS.

At this point, my boredom has given way to mild annoyance. But we're only on page 36, so let's not jump to conclusions.

IV. The Central Thesis: Blindness to the Black Swan At the end of Chapter Four on p. 50, NNT lays out the main thesis of TBS: the blindness of humans to the black swan. The thesis is then broken up into five themes, of which I quote the third here, as it is probably the most poignant, and somewhat representative of all of them:

We behave as if the Black Swan does not exist: human nature is not programmed for Black Swans.

The ensuing five chapters then discuss the five themes each in turn. There isn't really anything specifically mathematical in those five chapters, so my opinion as a mathematician—and remember, that's what this critique is all about—is not particularly relevant here. However, I said earlier that I was suspecting a case of confirmation bias in TBS, and this part of the book confirmed my suspicion. NNT gives an eloquent presentation of all the fallacies, biases, logic errors, and other weaknesses that prevent us humans from dealing rationally and efficiently with black swan events and the threats they pose. That's good, as these weaknesses are very real. But what about the other side of the coin? There is ample evidence of humans dealing incrediby well with rare events of extreme impact. If there weren't, we probably wouldn't be here. Actually, perhaps a better way of saying that humans deal well with black swan events is to say that those who don't aren't with us anymore.

Now that I've said it I suppose I have to give an example of humans dealing well with rare events of extreme impact, although that almost feels silly as there appears to be an infinitude of examples. [5] Take the example of rattlesnake bite in the American outdoors. It's grotesquely rare, but when it happens, it's painful in the extreme and potentially lethal. Clearly, it happens to people as a consequence of some fallacy or other, as in, "Me and my family have been coming here for years, and we've never even seen a rattlesnake! The heck I'm going to watch my step when gathering wood in the underbrush!" But that's the relatively small crowd of Darwin Award winners in waiting. Pick up any book or magazine from the outdoor literature section, go to any park visitor center, talk to the locals, I mean can you even get into the outdoors without being educated on how to minimize the risk of snake bite? And perhaps even more importantly, you can take with you into the outdoors a device that weighs five ounces, fits into the palm of your hand, and has a button which when you push it gets you airlifted to the nearest hospital where they have doctors and nurses and antidotes and painkillers and what not to deal with your mishap. That's how far humanity has come dealing with this particular black swan. That's more than impressive. It's darn near a miracle.

Someone to whom I presented this example argued that snake bite is not really a black swan. It's more like a grey swan since we are aware of its existence and know roughly where and when to expect it. Correct, but what do you want me to do about the truly black swans? Sit around and mull over things which I don't even know what they are, while others are hard at work lowering the risk or impact of snake bites, car wrecks, household accidents, natural disasters, terminal illnesses, you name it? Now there's a way of dealing poorly with rare catastrophic events.

V. Predicting the Future Part 2 of TBS, consisting of Chapters Ten through Thirteen, pp. 137–211, elaborates on the fact that humans are not good at predicting the future. For example, nobody knew we were going to have the Internet. Ok. [6]

VI. The Gaussian Strawman At the end of Part 2 of TBS, NNT leads into Part 3 with the words

Some readers may see it as an appendix; others may consider it the heart of the book.

Since some portion of Part 3 is dedicated to the discussion of probability distributions, I will go for the second option and consider it the heart of the book. First off, there is a remark on p. 213, at the very beginning of Part 3, that gave me pause:

[…] for an event to be a Black Swan, it does not just have to be rare, or just wild; it has to be unexpected, has to lie outside our tunnel of possibilities.

Isn't that a modification of the original definition given in the Prologue? Stock market crashes and severe earthquakes, for example, would certainly be black swan events according to the original definition. But they are not outside our tunnel of possibilities: the vast majority of people are lucidly aware of the fact that they do happen. So now I don't really know anymore what a black swan is, and thus, I don't really know anymore what this book is about. I'll just have to let that go for now and concentrate on the upcoming discussion of probability distributions.

Chapter Fifteen in Part 3 is entitled, "The Bell Curve, That Great Intellectual Fraud." As we saw earlier, NNT follows convention by using the term "bell curve" as a synonym for "normal distribution", so what's being said here is that the normal distribution is fraudulent, in a sense that is yet to be determined. The first few pages of Chapter Fifteen are devoted to some numerical examples, and there is no hint of fraud here. Six pages into the chapter, there is a small section entitled "What to Remember," which reads,

Remember this: the Gaussian-bell curve variations face a headwind that makes probabilities drop at a faster and faster rate as you move away from the mean, while "scalables," or Mandelbrotian variations, do not have such a restriction. That's pretty much most of what you need to know.

The statement on probability drop in the normal distribution is correct. I don't see anything fraudulent in that. So if that's "pretty much most of what I need to know," then I don't know what the "Great Intellectual Fraud" in the chapter's title is referring to. There are 18 more pages in this chapter, but I couldn't find an argument that begins with anything resembling "here's why the normal distribution is fraudulent," or ends with anything resembling, "and this is why the normal distribution is a fraud." I could find only two sentences that hint at how and why NNT considers the normal distribution a fraud. The first of these, on p. 236, contains the expression

The traditional Gaussian way of looking at the world […]

This suggests that there is a traditional school of thought whose belief it is that random variables occurring in real life are by default normally distributed. This belief is most certainly false, and thus the normal distribution would in a certain sense be a fraud. The second statement is on p. 252, near the end of the chapter:

One of the problems I face in life is that whenever I tell people that the Gaussian bell curve is not ubiquitous in real life, only in the minds of statisticians, […]

Again, this suggests that statisticians believe that random variables are by default normally distributed, which is false, and hence it is justifiable to call the normal distribution a fraud. Notice that I just did a bit of speculating here, but I couldn't find any other place where the normal distribution is exposed as "fraudulent," so I have no choice but to assume that this is it.

As a mathematician—and one with a decent scholarly record, if you must know—I assure you on the honor of my professional ethics that there is no school of thought among mathematicians or mathematically literate people that is called, calls itself, or could legitimately be called "the Gaussian way of looking at the world." With equal confidence, I assure you that there are no statisticians, mathematicians, or mathematically literate people in whose minds the Gaussian bell curve is ubiquitous, i.e., who believe that random variables should be assumed to be normally distributed by default. NNT's argument is an instance of the strawman fallacy.

To understand this a little better, it helps to do a Web search for "normal distribution ubiquitous." You'll see that indeed, the normal distribution is often called "ubiquitous in statistics," or "ubiquitous in statistical analysis." That's because—and I'm saying this for the mathematical layperson—the normal distribution pops up in a lot of places in the theory of probability where one would not expect it. The mathematically literate reader of course knows that what we're talking about is, first and foremost, the central limit theorem, and also some lesser results like the one that says that under certain circumstances, the binomial distribution can be approximated by a normal distribution with a continuity correction. Personally, I would not describe this situation by saying that the normal distribution is "ubiquitous in statistics," but then I wouldn't argue with people who do. The bottom line is, what NNT does is to misrepresent this collection of mathematical theorems as a "Gaussian way of looking at the world," a position that is then easily exposed as false or, if you wish, "fraudulent." And that's the definition of the strawman fallacy: misrepresenting someone's position so it can be refuted.

VII. The Lowdown To emphasize again, I never wanted to voice an opinion about TBS. But some of my acquaintances insisted, so here it is: I don't think TBS is an interesting book. Too much fluff, not enough semantic precision, and too much confirmation bias. From a mathematician's point of view, it's actually a bad book, because the attack that it launches on Carl Friedrich Gauss and the distribution named after him falls flat on account of the strawman fallacy.

Nothing that I saw in TBS went into my treasure trove of quotes. My biggest frustration was, "What, you're writing a book about randomness, chance, luck, the unexpected, the futility of predicting and planning, you're telling us that you're proud of your Lebanese Christian heritage, and you never once mention Ecclesiastes 9:11? Oh come on."

Sincerely Yours, The Fool on the Hill

Notes

[1] Given the book's remarkable popularity, perhaps someone can find the time, or find someone to pay him or her for the time, to copy and paste all the fluff from TBS into a separate document and then count words. I'd be interested to see what the percentage of fluff is.

[2] Mandelbrot, Benoît; Taleb, Nassim. "A focus on the exceptions that prove the rule". Financial Times, 23 March 2006.

[3] Strictly speaking, the bell curve is of course the graph of the normal distribution. But this degree of semantic precision is not very helpful, not even in mathematics.

[4] Much later in the book, on p. 239 and again on p. 275, NNT uses the term "Gaussian family of distributions," and he mentions that the Poisson distribution belongs to that family. That leads me to believe that indeed, what he means is exponential families. But "Gaussian family of distributions" is not a term for which mathematicians have a definition, and NNT never once says "exponential families." Therefore, we cannot know what he means.

[5] Come to think of it, I wonder if there is a book that looks at the history and evolution of the human race as the process of improving our skill of preparing for, avoiding, and dealing with rare catastrophic events. I bet it would be interesting, although probably not nearly as much fun as reading about the fallacies, biases, and logic errors that TBS is all about. TBS vs. that other book may end up being like Jackass vs. a video on pivot tables in MS Excel.

[6] A lot of things that NNT says in this part of TBS sound an awful lot like he's mocking people who make plans, implying they are so foolish as to think they can predict the future. Here's a prediction. I predict that in some distant future we'll be able to make computer simulations of alternate universes with properties of our choice. I would then make one that's just like ours, except that humans don't make plans, knowing that that's futile because of their inability to predict. That'll be fun to watch. Of course NNT is completely missing the point here. The stunning success of human civilization has something to do with the fact that humans have become good at planning in the face of uncertainty.

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