#now the only thing i need is to hear Matt's voice and the world will be right again

[daisyishedwig]

I was literally spinning around my kitchen giggling and twirling my hair listening to the latest episode and I can't wait for the official drop to come tomorrow because I need y'all to hear this. (I do have a tendency to do this with most episodes of woe.begone but this one was a particular joy to listen to)

Very spoilery screaming in the tags below.

[chrissv4mp]

౨ৎ YOU DON'T REMEMBER CALLING OUT FOR ME?

★ sum: after a bad breakup with matt, you storm out of his party and get in the car. matt follows after you, and he regrets everything he said when he sees it happen.

☆ pair: matt sturniolo × fem!reader

★ tws: cursing, arguments, crying, driving under the influence kinda, car crashes, slight blood, mentions of amnesia (the loss of memories, facts, information, and experiences.)

☆ a/n: don't check my airbuds history.....

★ a/n 2: also really hoping to make a part 2 for this, but i need a few opinions

★ wc: 3.3k

navigation

"don't be so fucking sensitive, y/n! i was just messing around. you're getting all riled up over nothin', kid." matt groans, leaning back and supporting himself with his hands on the mattress underneath him.

a scoff falls from your lips as you cross your arms, watching him from the open door of his bedroom, "don't call me 'kid', i'm not a fuckin' kid, matthew. and you could've died from the height of your apartment! you're still drunk." you catch sight of his blown pupils even from across the room, worry and anger clear on your face.

matt just rolls his eyes, gripping the sheets in his hands as he sighs, "well, i can hear what you're saying perfectly, thank you. and, plus, i wasn't gonna lose 50 fucking dollars, y/n."

"you didn't have to give it to the guy, matt. you're just so reckless, it's like you're trying to kill yourself 24/7! what is your problem?" your breathing is heavy now, the heat of the argument never dying down as you continue to voice your complaints about his recklessness. tears threaten to fall down your cheeks as he just mutters inaudible words.

"what problem? there's not a problem, you're the one making it a problem, y/n. it's not my fault you're such a boring fucking person. god, i can't even comprehend why i wanted to date you!" he growls, his voice never shaking as he stares you straight in the eyes. he seems serious, but you knew that he always said things he never meant while under the influence.

it feels like your whole world just fell apart, though. your chest feels tighter and it's almost like you can barely breathe, gripping the doorframe tightly as you watch matt fiddle with the edge of his pillowcase. he really doesn't care, his eyes not showcasing any emotion other than hatred. or, that's what it seems. you want the tears to fall, but they don't. you want to leave, but you can't. you want matt to say something, maybe even take it back, but he doesn't.

you want to— "then why haven't you broken up with me?" stupid. the realization that you just spoke up hits you only when matt stands up from his bed, inching closer toward your small figure as he gets tilts his head to get a better look at you, "tell me, matt." again? just shut up!

"you're right, i really wonder why i didn't do this sooner." your eyes widen in the slightest, your heart dropping to your stomach as you stare up into his cold, blue eyes that once looked at you in adoration. the spark that was once there is gone now as he looks at you, squinting his eyes as he speaks, "we're over. get the fuck out of my room, y/n."

your lips part in a silent gasp, eyes searching his for any signs of hesitation or regret or something. nothing, once again. he scoffs when he takes a step back, crossing his arms in a mimicking manner as he nods his head toward the hallway behind you, "actually, get the fuck out of my house."

the sick feeling in your stomach never leaves even as you turn away from your boyf—ex, and walk through the hallway. you make your way down the stairs, not even stopping to say bye to nick or chris as you pass by them in the living room. all you do is keep your head down and drag your feet, grabbing your jacket off the rack before leaving through the front door. it slams behind you, but you don't care anymore. your whole world just fell apart right in the hands of the person who you loved most. in the hands of the person who you thought loved you the most.

matt didn't care, though. well, not until he replayed the earlier events in his head over and over again after he saw you leave down the stairs. the impact of his words didn't hit himself until you were finally gone and he was sitting in his room alone, surrounded by millions of memories of you and him. your clothes were still here, the things you bought for him, they were painful reminders of the words that he just spoke to you. he didn't even think about it when he said them, he was just spitting out anything that came to mind. he wasn't thinking of the consequences.

maybe he should run after you or maybe he should just sit here and drown in his sorrow and despair, that was the more reasonable option. for him at least. his mind is so loud right now, he doesn't even know what to think anymore. his body moves by itself, jolting forward as his feet take him running down the stairs. he skips steps, almost tripping over his untied shoelaces and stumbling down the last few. he takes a quick glance at the living room and kitchen, but you're not there.

party guests call matts name, but he's not listening. he's not interested in whatever bullshit they have to say right now because his mind is shouting at him to find you, to make things right and show you that he never meant it. he doesn't even notice that he's shoving party goers out of the way until someone pushes him back, resulting in the brunette getting splashed with some red beverage. his heart beats fast and hard, the sound loud and drowning out any other thing around him. we'll, besides the overwhelming thoughts of you.

he slips on one of chris's jackets, darting out the door and slamming it shut behind him. he doesn't see you in the driveway, no sight of your car down the street or on the side of the apartment. his ears pick up on the sound of a car beeping, and his head whips around to find a bike propped up against the garage door. it all happens so fast, he can't even remember when he started pedaling down the street and catching sight of your h/c hair through your car window. he waves, but you don't give him anything back.

it feels like he's invisible, and now he knows what you felt like tonight in that apartment, alone and unseen. unheard by any and everyone around you, including the love of your life. matt watches as you speed up, ready to round the corner deeper into the neighborhood. you really don't know where you're going, though. all you want right now is to just get away from the house and never come back, you didn't want to remember the events of tonight ever. your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as your foot presses even harder on the break.

the tears you held back earlier now begin to fall, and you mentally curse yourself for not holding them in longer. now you couldn't see anything, your vision blurry as you bring a hand up and off the steering wheel to wipe your eyes, trying to see through the windshield again. it doesn't work, and now you're just hoping that you won't lose control over the car. the limited time that your vision is cleared, you can see matt following close behind your car on a black bike, and your first instinct is to freeze and stare.

you don't make the turn, stomping on the brakes in the middle of the road as you watch your boy come closer and closer. his eyes widen, lips parting before you hear a cry of your name tumble from his lips. the only noise you hear is a loud horn coming from the left of you, your head whipping to the side and watching as a large truck comes your way at a fast pace. then, you hear the ringing in your ear, eyes squeezing shut as you let your arms fall to the side of you.

the truck t-bones your car, sending both of the vehicles flying to the right quickly. you smell gas, feeling the wet sensation of blood dripping down your temple and running down the bridge of your nose. your body feels weak, like you can't move, so you just sit there, head lying against the airbag on the steering wheel as you slip into unconsciousness. matt watches in shock and fear as your car tips on its side and smoke begins to erupt from the hood of the car. his heart feels like it stops beating for a moment as he watches the truck reverse and drive off quickly, anger coursing through his veins as he jumps off the bike and lets it fall to the pavement of the sidewalk.

he runs over to your car, his chest heaving up and down quickly as he makes an effort to tip the car back on its wheels. it doesn't work, though, and he grunts as he throws himself against the metal of the roof, "y/n, hey!" his voice seems to snap you out of your daze, now feeling fully conscious as your eyes flutter open again. your body fell against the car door, the seatbelt strap felt like it was suffocating you. the small space of the car suddenly made you weary, eyes widening as your breathing picked up rapidly.

"don't! stop, y/n, don't panic," matt breathes out, trying his best to come off as calm and collected. but he's really not, he's far from anything relatively close to the sort. more footsteps are heard behind him, and now his neighbor is standing a few feet beside matt, "what the fuck happened?"

"doesn't matter. js' help me flip the car, would you?" matt sighs, the panic in his body rising as the smell of gas surfaces. the car flips onto the wheels after quite a moment of struggles, and matt doesn't hesitate to throw youe car door open and grab you. his feet take him stumbling away from the car again, holding you tightly in his arms as if he let go, he would lose you. again. a string of coughs erupt from your throat as you and matt fall gently to the grass of someone's front yard, and matt lies you down as he props himself up with his elbows.

his neighbor is already far away, phone up to his ear as he watches the car explode into flames, the windows of nearby houses reflecting the burning red, orange, and blue lights. matt breathes out as he grips the fabric of his hoodie, more tears coming to his eyes at the realization that if he hadn't left sooner, you would've died. his head moves away entirely from the scene, looking back at your weak body that lay on the grass beside him.

only then does he notice the large gash just below your hairline, and his breath hitches again as he struggles to throw his hoodie over his head and hold it against your own. his other hand cradles the back of your head, his body hovering over yours as he silently prays that you'll be alright. the blood has already traveled down your neck, though. it soaks your white shirt as your head falls to the side, eyes threatening to close as you mutter out jumbled up words, "hey, hey, come on, look at me, y/n. please, look at me. open your eyes, come on..!"

"baby, please. just stay awake, please. my pretty girl, come on..!!" he whispers, anger overcoming his being as he grips the fabric in his hands tighter. he's so angry at himself. he wished he was the one in that car. he should've been the one to experience this, not you. you didn't deserve this at all. it was all his fault, what happened to you. what if he had just talked with you? what if he had just said sorry? what if, what if, what if?

the world seems to spinning faster than usual right now, your head aching as you look at your surroundings. as you look up at the sky, you're met with the cool shade of blue that slowly fades to orange and pink as it travels beneath the mountain until you can't see. then, you make out the frame of matts face, his eyes full of worry and his hair messy. tears stream down his face as he cried quietly, "matt?" you mutter weakly, eyes teary and bloodshot. he nods frantically, a small smile forming on his lips as he whispers, "yes, yes, yes. it's me." but then it all goes away.

matt? who was matt? your face contorts into a look of confusion as you try to tilt your head, only to hiss at the sting the small movement causes, "what—who? who are you?" the hope is washed away by those few words, and the brunettes smile disappears as he feels tiny, imaginary daggers stabbing away at his heart. he doesn't have time to speak before he finally hears the blaring sounds of sirens coming down the street. multiple emergency vehicles drive down the pavement quickly, stopping at the scene. matt is suddenly being pulled away from your frail body, fighting against the hands of the paramedics as he tries to yell out your name. nothing comes out, though, his voice too tired to be used anymore.

his vision is blurred, but he can still make out the way your eyes close softly as your head falls to the side. his heart shatters as he cries out your name finally, all the emotions so overwhelming he doesn't know what else to say. then his brothers are holding him close, trying to calm him down as all three of them stumble to the pavement of their driveway, "matt, hey, look at us. she'll be okay." nick whispers reassuringly, but he doesn't know if that's true. chris just stares blankly as the paramedics carry you on a gurney into the back of the ambulance.

your lip is busted, blood dripping down your head quickly and multiple bruises scattered across your body. the ambulance doors begin to close, and matt quickly jumps up from his place between his brothers and sprints towards the red car. his hands pry the doors open again, eyes wild as he stares at the caretakers in the back of the ambulance, "please, let me come. i need to be here with her, just—" one of the paramedics nod, and that's all the confirmation matt needs to jump into the back and take his place beside your head.

the car shakes subtly on the gravelly road, and the gentle coos of... him make your eyelids open slowly. you want to get up, so you make an effort to move yourself off the gurney in the back of the ambulance, but the paramedics only urge to stay where you're at, "you have to lay down, you're in terrible shape, sweetheart." but why? what even happened? where were you and why were you there?

who were these people? no, who was the guy right beside you who continued to stroke your hair gently? you don't even know yourself right now. did you hit your head? is that why it ached? what about your body? your eyes move around the small, confined space of the ambulance, stopping when you look out of the little window in the back door. the car continues to move down the street, but you still don't remember where you're going or where you were coming from.

"what happened?" you finally speak, but your voice is low and quiet, barely audible to anyone over the beeping of machines and the rocks beneath the road. matt sighs quietly, and now your attention is on him, "you got in a car crash. you're okay, now, so, don't worry." he gives you a gentle smile, but you only give him a look of confusion and worry.

"no?" you try to argue, looking around at the paramedics beside you. they only nod, and your heart drops once again. you were always a safe driver, or at least that's what you think in that moment. everything in your mind is so blurry you don't even remember what happened yesterday or what plans you made for the future. and still, you didn't know the guy touching your face.

matt watches as you space out, his thumb stroking your cheek affectionately as he frowns. he remembers the look on your face earlier that night, when he broke things off, and now it's back. that dumbfounded look that makes your lips part and your eyes squint subtly. you looked the same at times, even when half your face was beat up. he didn't care, though, he still thought you were beautiful, always. he brings his hand up to brush a stray hair out of your face, and only then do you turn your head to look at him again.

"who are you..?" you whisper, eyes looking him up and down. his hair is messy, eyes droopy, cheeks stained with tears, and his clothing is wrinkled. matt tilts his head, a smile coming to his face as more tears well up in his eyes, "you don't remember me?" you shake your head the best you can, squinting your eyes to try and get a better look at him. it feels like you should remember him, it seems like he was an important person in your life, but you can't quite grasp who he was to you.

"you don't even remember calling out to me?" another shake of your head, and matt inhales sharply. he wanted to scream and cry. he wanted you to comfort him. he wanted you back. but he should've known you wouldn't remember it. he should've taken the hint the moment you asked who he was. it still hurt, though. it felt like the entire world was bashing him. emotionally and physically, it hurt, the guilt weighing down on his shoulders as he stared at your confused face, sniffling quietly before he took his hands off your head.

the drive continues, but this time the tension is thicker then before. the silence is so loud, you barely hear the loud blaring of a truck horn coming from outside of the car. you flinch hard, eyes shutting closed as you try and shield your face. matt watches with teary eyes, letting out a breath of sympathy as he replays the events in his head. then, the entire thing comes back to you. the loud horn, the smell of gas, the blood sticking to your hair and the boy who came to save you.

red, orange, blue. the fire. the screams and the cries that the boy let out for you. he was the first person to come after you because he cared for you. you still didn't know why, though. why did he care so much? why did he feel the need to save you? "i told you even then you looked so pretty, y/n. you still do, you'll always be beautiful to me." the brunette whispered, leaning over your frail body as he gave you a gentle smile. his eyes were teary, though, and he looked hurt. very hurt.

"i—i'm sorry." is all you can say at the moment, eyes traveling to his as you frown. he shakes his head, lips parting to inhale shakily before he speaks, "don't be. ts' not you're fault," he smiles, but when he looks back into your eyes, they're swarming with the tiniest bit of guilt, "you do know that, right?" nothing but silence from your end. the boy takes your hand lightly, careful not to accidentally hurt you as he runs his thumb along the top, "it was never your fault, baby. i promise you, it was my—it was that truckers fault for not stopping."

your lips curve into the smallest smile as you make an effort to hold his hand, and the boy almost bursts out into sobs as he feels it. his head turns away from you for a few moments, trying to recollect himself as he takes deep breaths. when he finally looks back at you, your eyes are already on him, "i'm—i'm matt, you're boyfriend. but... we need to talk about a few things, 'kay..?"

tags: @jetaimevous @livialifesblog @watercolorskyy @blahbel668 @her-favorite

@wiidfi0wer33

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 14]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

Words: 3.8k

ao3 link

banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen

A loud, angry voice wakes Minnie from her sleep.

It takes her a few moments to process the change, but once she does, she focuses on finding the source of the bad noise. It's coming from below her, a few floors down. She can't understand the words - Mommy says people speak lots of different languages so this must be one of them - but she knows it is Mister Chavez. He's a nice man who helps Mommy with the trash, sometimes. Minnie likes him.

She lets her ears open up more and quickly finds out why he is so grumpy - he is watching television. She recognizes the sounds as some sort of sport. Mommy says sometimes people yell at their television when watching sports because they love their team and get excited - but they aren't really angry. That makes her feel better - she doesn't like it when people are angry. It's scary.

But he is still being loud, and even though she knows he's not really mad, she doesn't want to hear him. Minnie wants to listen to good noises when she sleeps.

Her favorite noise to sleep to is her Mommy's heart and it can make all the bad noises go away and right now, she wants to be extra close so it's really loud.

So, Minnie reaches up and pulls her sleep headband down so it's around her neck and rolls out of bed.

Mommy went to sleep the same time she did, which is weird because Mommy also took a nap with her after they came back from the park. Mommy doesn't take naps - she's an Adult, but all day she's been sleepy. She doesn't understand why - they didn't do anything Big, like go somewhere special or do lots of things.

Minnie crosses the short distance between her bed and her Mommy's and quickly climbs up the bigger one. Mommy is on her back and under her covers, still asleep. The loud noises don't bother her because she can't hear them like Minnie and Daddy can. That makes Minnie happy - Mommy needs lots of sleep.

But she's hogging all the blankets and Minnie wants to get under them, too, so she shakes her shoulder, “Mommy, share the blankie.”

Nothing happens.

Minnie pouts and shakes her again, just a little harder, “Mommy, I'm cold, too.”

Mommy makes an upset noise in her throat, but she doesn't wake up or give up any of the blanket. Minnie frowns and looks back to her bed - she could get her blanket if Mommy doesn't want to share, but she likes Mommy’s blanket more. It smells like her.

Maybe she can crawl in from the bottom, near Mommy's feet.

As she considers this option, something new catches her attention.

Something smells stinky.

It doesn't smell stinky like the train or the monster her Daddy chased away a few nights ago - she doesn't know this smell, but she quickly decides she doesn't like it. It smells like wet and dirty and it's really close. It is inside the bedroom. She turns to start looking around, trying to find where it is coming from. Nothing in the room looks different and she knows things don't just get stinky. Something has to happen to make it stinky. She closes her eyes and opens her mouth a little like Daddy taught her, and breaths in through her nose. The smell is stronger behind her, so she tries to follow it, crawling closer.

She runs right into Mommy.

The bad smell is coming from her.

Minnie doesn't understand. Mommy never smells bad, ever, and she didn't smell bad before they went to sleep. Why does Mommy smell bad now?

She tries to wake her up again, shaking her shoulder hard, but Mommy just scrunches up her face. She doesn't wake up.

Minnie is starting to get scared.

“Mommy, wake up!” She tries tugging the blanket next, but it is wrapped tight. Her next idea is to start patting her face and that is when Minnie gets her next clue.

Mommy's skin is really warm, like she's been in the sun, and she's sweaty. Did Mommy go outside when Minnie was sleeping?

But that doesn't make sense, the sun isn't up. It's night time and Mommy wouldn't leave her alone during the night. Mommy never leaves her alone - she always has a babysitter.

Why would Mommy be hot and sweaty and stinky and not wake up?

She sticks her fingers in her mouth and starts to suck on them as she thinks hard - like she's trying to figure out a puzzle.

Minnie gasps when she realizes it - Mommy is sick!

Mommy has never been sick before, not that Minnie can remember, and if she's sick, she needs a doctor. Minnie knows how to be a doctor!

No longer as scared now that she knows what is wrong, Minnie slides off the bed and hurries to her toy chest. She has a whole doctor kit full of all sorts of things - it even has a doctor's coat and glasses. She takes the big bag out and sets it on the ground so she can pull out the costume and put it on. She has to push up the sleeves because they are too long, but it doesn't matter.

Now she's Doctor Minnie and can help her Mommy.

She hikes the bag up on her shoulder and brings it back to the bed. It takes her a few tries to get it up beside her Mommy - the bed is high up and the bag is heavy - but once it is, she climbs up too and starts looking through her supplies.

She pulls out the step-scope first and puts the plugs into her ears. She doesn't need it to listen to Mommy's heart, but doctor's do, so she's going to use it. She puts the end-circle on Mommy's chest and listens Hard. Her heart doesn't sound any different than normal. It is a little faster, like she's been walking around a lot, but that isn't weird. Minnie is used to that sound - so it's not why Mommy is sick. She puts her step-scope back into her bag and takes out the next tool.

She knows the little hammer is supposed to be used to hit her Mommy's knees, but they are under the covers, so she isn't sure if it will work. She tries anyway. She bonks where she thinks her knees are and absolutely nothing happens. She isn't surprised - Mommy's head smells stinky, not her legs. That is not why she is sick.

Her next toy is the therm-o-meter. She puts it against her Mommy's forehead and presses the button. The toy lights up, the screen flashing red a few times before becoming solid. She brings it closer to her face to examine. She doesn't know what the numbers mean, but she guesses it says her Mommy is sick.

She turns off that toy then starts digging in the bag again, looking at what she has to help. She finds the band-aids first, which won't help at all. That is for boo-boos and Mommy doesn't have one of those. She finds what she needs at the bottom of the bag and removes it carefully. She doesn't know what it is called but it gives shots - and shots help people not be sick. Mommy told her that - that's why she has to go get them from the doctor.

Shots go in the arm, so Minnie needs to move the blanket out of the way. Mommy wrapped herself up tight, so it is hard, but she manages to pull it enough so her shoulder is out. That is part of the arm, so it counts. She doesn't want to mess up, so Minnie takes her time picking up the shot-giver and pulling back the pusher. She places it in the middle of Mommy's arm, as low as she can get it, then pushes the pusher back down slowly. Once it's all the way down, she sets the toy aside. She remembers that shots do get a band aid, so she takes one out of the box and opens it. It's pink, to match the rest of the set, and it goes over where Minnie gave her Mommy the shot.

To make sure it works extra well, Minnie adds a kiss, then sits back to wait.

She starts sucking on her fingers again, not to help her think, but because it helps her not be scared - and she's scared her Mommy isn't going to wake up. She doesn't know how long she is supposed to wait for medicine to work - when she plays Doctor with her toys it is always right away. But Mommy isn't a toy. She sits and waits for what feels like at least thirty-two minutes before she tries shaking her Mommy again, “Wake up. Mommy, wake up, please. You gotta wake up.”

She doesn't wake up. She doesn't stop being stinky. She stays asleep and sick.

Minnie doesn't like this. She wants her Mommy to wake up and hug her and tell her it is okay. She doesn't understand why she won't wake up.

Minnie gave her a shot - that should have made her better, right?

Does she need to go to the real doctor? She can't go to the real doctor if she is asleep and Minnie doesn't know how to call the doctor to tell him to come.

Minnie sniffles, trying to hold back from crying. She has to be a big girl, she can't be a baby - being a baby won't help Mommy. She wipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her doctor's coat and tries her bestest to think.

What did Mommy say in their last Big Girl Talk?

They talked about what it means to have a Daddy now. Mommy had told her that meant he was like Mommy, but a boy, and anything that Minnie went to her for, she could also talk to Daddy about.

Maybe Daddy can help Mommy, like he helped with the Monster.

But Daddy isn't here. He doesn't live with them.

But maybe he can hear her? He has really good hearing like Minnie does.

With a new plan in mind, Minnie climbs off the bed and leaves the bedroom. The fan and a/c make lots of noise and he might not hear her over them. The living room is quiet, though, and she gets up onto the couch before looking straight up at the ceiling. Daddy was up there last time.

“Daddy?” She asks, “Daddy, are you there?”

She waits, but there is no answer. Maybe she needs to be louder? So, she tries again, speaking in her Outside Voice.

“Daddy, it's Minnie. Daddy? Can you hear me? I need you, please, thank you.”

The only response she gets is the city. It's not as loud as normal, there's not as many cars or people because it's night - people sleep at night. Maybe he is asleep and can't hear her? Or he is too far away and his hearing can't reach her.

If he is too far away to hear with his ears, she has to find another way for him to hear her. Mommy talks to him on her phone when he is far away, so she has to try that next.

Mommy keeps her phone next to her bed, so Minnie goes back into the bedroom. She's not supposed to play with the phone, but this isn't playing - this is an Emergency. She's allowed to use it for emergencies - even though she never has before. She knows how to unlock it - the numbers are her birthday - and the screen lights up. She looks from the bright phone back to her Mommy sleeping on the bed. It's rude to talk on the phone when someone is sleeping, so back out to the living room and the couch she goes.

She settles into the cushions then stares at the phone. She knows how to bring up YouTube but not how to call someone, but she can talk to the phone and tell it what to do. She's done that before and Mommy does it all the time. She just has to say the magic words.

“Hey, Siri, call Daddy, please, thank you.”

The phone lights up as it thinks, then the robot-lady in the phone says, “Uh-oh, I do not have a phone number for Daddy.”

Minnie pouts at the phone - she knows that isn't true. Mommy calls Daddy all the time. Then it occurs to her Mommy doesn't call him Daddy. She has to use his grown up name. She tries again, “Siri, please call Mister Matt, please, thank you.”

“Calling Matt Murdock,” the robot-lady says and a moment later, ringing starts coming through the phone. Minnie quickly holds it up to her ear and waits for him to answer.

He doesn't answer. It just rings and rings until another robot-lady starts talking instead, but Minnie doesn't want to talk to her, so she presses the big red button to end the call.

She doesn't know why he didn't answer. His hearing is extra good, so if he was sleeping, he should have heard it - like Minnie heard Mister Chavez. She tries to think of why he wouldn't answer and decides he must not have his phone - Mommy does that sometimes. She forgets her phone places, like she'll leave it in the bathroom.

Maybe he left his phone in the bathroom.

She makes another attempt, telling the phone again to call her Daddy but nothing changes. Only the robot-lady talks to her.

Minnie glares at the phone as she tries to figure out what to do. Mommy needs a doctor and Daddy isn't answering.

Her conclusion is she needs another Adult. She doesn't know many Adults. She knows Miss Apple, who runs Daycare, and Miss Linda, but Minnie doesn't think she is supposed to call them. Mommy never talks to them on the phone, even if they are Adults.

Daddy's friends are Adults, though, and she heard Miss Karen and Froggy tell Mommy to call if she ever needs anything, so maybe it is okay to call them? Minnie hopes so.

Froggy is Daddy’s bestest friend, so that is who she decides to call. If he doesn't answer, she will call Miss Karen. She wipes at her face again, clearing away any tears, then asks the robot-lady, “Hey Siri, call Froggy, please, thank you.”

The phone starts to ring and, to her great delight and relief, is answered after only a few moments. It sounds like he almost drops it before she can hear him breathing directly into her ear.

“‘lo?” A very tired sounding Froggy asks.

“Froggy!” She tries her best to not yell, but she is so happy he answered the phone and now she can help Mommy. Part of her wants to cry because she is happy, but she still needs to be a Big Girl.

She can hear lots of movement on the other end of the call before he answers her, “Minnie, is that you?” He sounds very Worried.

“Yes,” is her response, because it is her. She knows she is supposed to wait for more questions, but she can't help herself. She does her best to not rush out her words.“I need help, please, thank you. Mommy is sick and she won't wake up and she needs to go to the doctor.”

Froggy says a Bad Word, then, “where are you, Minnie?”

“I'm on the couch. It's rude to talk on the phone when someone is sleeping,” she explains, then adds, “Mommy is in bed.”

“Okay. Okay. Did you try to call your Daddy?” He asks. She can hear him moving around a lot more now and that makes her happy. He's going to come help her and she doesn't need to be scared. Froggy is an Adult and can take Mommy to the doctor and she can get better.

“He didn't answer. I tried two times and he's not outside. I can't hears him outside,” she tells him. Froggy knows she and Daddy can hear everything, so that is important to let him know that.

“Of course, he didn't answer,” Froggy says, then he says another Bad Word in a grumpy voice, before his voice gets Nice again, “Okay, sweetie, can you listen to me?”

“I'm listening!” She can listen really good and follow directions. She's a Big Girl.

“I'm going to call your Daddy. He has a…different phone he uses at night. I'm going to call that phone and tell him he needs to come over, okay? And I'm going to come over, too,” he explains.

“A different phone…?” She doesn't understand why he would have more than one but maybe it is an Adult thing.

“Yeah, sweetie, a different phone. But to call it, I need to not be on the phone with you. Is that okay?” Froggy asks.

“You're both gonna come?”

“We're both gonna come,” he promises, “I'll keep calling him until he answers, and we're gonna come over and take care of you and your Mommy. Okay?”

Minnie starts to suck on her finger as she thinks over what he said. She wants to stay on the phone with Froggy - she’s scared and she doesn't want to be alone while her Mommy is sick, but he needs to call her Daddy. Mommy needs Daddy more than Minnie needs Froggy. Part of being a Big Girl is being brave when things are scary and she needs to be brave for her Mommy. She drops her hand to her lap and mumbles, “Okay.”

“Okay, Minnie,” Froggy says, then he gets a nice voice again and she can tell he is smiling, “You did a really good job calling me. I'm proud of you.”

The words make her smile, too, and she tells him, “I'm being a Big Girl.”

“Yes, you are,” he agrees, “You are being such a big girl right now. Your Mommy and Daddy are going to be proud, too. Now, I'm going to hang up and call your Daddy. He might get there before me, but I'm on my way, too. If anything happens, you can call me back, and I'll answer. Understand?”

“I understand,” she says, because she does. Froggy will answer his phone if Minnie calls him. Even if it is night time and everyone else is sleeping.

“Okay, good girl. I'm hanging up now, okay?”

“Okay. Bye-bye,” she says because that is how Mommy says to end a call. She lowers the phone from her face and hits the big red button.

She decides to keep the phone with her and slides off the couch, putting it into her doctor's coat pocket.

Now that she has called an Adult to help, Minnie doesn't know what she's supposed to do, but she does know she wants something to hug to make her feel better. She goes back to the bedroom and grabs Pig and Scooby off her bed before squeezing them tightly to her. They are soft and smell like Mommy and Daddy and make things less scary. Everything will be okay if she has them.

She looks over to where Mommy is sleeping and frowns. She hasn't moved at all since Minnie went to try to call Daddy. Minnie sucks on her lip since her hands are busy holding her toys and tries to figure out what to do next, but all she can think about is how sad Mommy looks in bed.

Does Mommy know she's sick and that's why she won't wake up? Is she scared like Minnie is?

Minnie doesn't want her to be scared.

She rocks side to side for a moment as she thinks over how to make her Mommy not be scared, then slowly makes her way to the bed. She sets Pig down in the ground then, with Scooby Doo in her arms, crawls up to be next to her Mommy. With great care, she places him next to the pillow, then leans in to whisper, “Scooby, you need to watch over, Mommy, okay? I gotta go wait for Daddy and Froggy.”

She pats Scooby on his big head before slowly bending over to give her Mommy a kiss on the cheek, “Don't be scared, Mommy, Scooby knows a lot about being brave when you're scared…and he'll keep you safe, okay?”

Mommy doesn't respond.

Her doctor glasses fall off as she slides back to the floor and she knows she should pick them up, but she doesn't. Instead, she picks up Pig and goes back out to the living room. She opens up her ears again as she does - Mister Chavez is still watching his sports but the rest of the building is quiet. Everyone else is sleeping, even the doggies and kitties.

She tries to listen for Daddy and Froggy as she sits down in front of the television. She closes her eyes and remembers what Daddy said about looking for things. She has to Turn Off the sounds she doesn't want, like turning off the television. She squeezes Pig tight to her and tries really really hard.

Daddy isn't an animal, so she can turn off the doggies barking and the rats getting their dinners. There are no birdies or alleycats around to send away.

“Bye-bye,” she mumbles and closes her ears to them. Her little section of the world slowly gets quieter until she's pretty sure there are no more animals left to distract her.

Next is city noises.

There aren't many cars out on her block - just a taxi man listening to music. He's not Daddy, so she says goodbye to him, too, before he goes away. His car disappears around with him, since there is no one else in there with the taxi man.

Her head is really starting to hurt from all the loud noises she hasn't turned off yet. It's making her dizzy because it's coming from all over and it's hard to understand what it all is. Everything is starting to just become one big scream and she can't tell what is what.

“MINNIE!”

She hears her Daddy’s voice through all the other noises loud and clear and she can't be a Big Girl anymore.

She bursts into tears and begins crying loudly.

She doesn't want to be brave anymore. She's scared. She wants her Mommy to wake up and not be sick. She wants to get into bed and cuddle and watch cartoons on the StarkPad.

She wants her Mommy.

She wants her Daddy.

She turns off her ears and sobs and sobs until two strong arms wrap around her and she is crushed into her Daddy's chest. She clings to him, burying her face into his neck and lets him overwhelm her senses until she can't cry anymore.

Little Doctor Minnie passes out from sheer exhaustion, cradled in the arms of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

-----

a/n: everyone tell Doctor Minnie how proud of her you are

---

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

 @petrovafire39 @allllium

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

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@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare 

@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars

@

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 

@two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13

 @lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos

[ilovejohnnieguilbertsblog]

inseperable-m. sturniolo

warnings: angst, fluff

i hate to beg but if you like the story please like🙏

it’s 9:30 am, and you just woke up. all you could hear was footsteps, nick’s probably, and the sound of your boyfriend snoring.

you had spent the night at the sturniolo’s house last night, and you had to leave for work.

you uncovered yourself, trying to get out of the bed carefully, not wanting to wait matt, who’s always grumpy in the morning.

you got out of bed, only to feel matt’s arm lazily touching you.

“good morning.” you say confused as to why matt’s touching you.

“stop moving the bed motherfucker.” he says, covering his face with a pillow.

“okay sorry.”

“just shut up and let me sleep.” matt says.

“don’t talk to me like that matt.”

“whatever.” matt says as he grabs his phone.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

about 30 minutes goes by and you’re ready for work.

“bye, love you.” you say to matt, who’s still on his phone.

“yeah, whatever. right back at ya.” matt says, sounding like he couldn’t give 2 fucks in the world if you left or stayed.

“matt why are you acting weird?” you ask.

“i’m not.”

“yeah you are, but it’s fine. i need to go anyways.”

“why are you always such a bitch?” matt’s says, catching you off guard.

“excuse me?”

“you’re always trying to be in my business. and you always complain about how i act.”

“matt i don’t complain, i just care about how you feel. it’s how the dating thing works.” you say, trying to stay calm but you can feel your voice raising.

matt silently stares at you.

“so do you wanna meet up tonight or something? we could watch a movie or-“

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH Y/N! DAMN.” matt yells louder than you have ever heard him yell before.

“matt stop acting like an asshole. just because you’re always a dick in the mornings doesn’t mean you can take it out on me. before you dump anymore of your pissy attitude onto me, i’m going to leave before i’m late for work.”

matt blankly looks at you, and he genuinely looks like he has no words to say.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

it’s 5:30 pm, and you’re driving home after what seemed like the longest day of work ever. nothing specifically bad happened, but the fight you had with matt that morning really ruined the day.

you’re listening to the radio when you get a call from nick.

you answer it.

“hello?” you say.

“hey, y/n.”

“hey nick.”

“so um, matt told me about this morning. and uh, i wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“i’m okay nick, i promise. thanks for caring though.”

“yeah no problem.”

“matt’s not okay.” nick says out of nowhere.

“oh.” is all you can manage to say.

“yeah, he’s been moping around all day talking about how shitty of a boyfriend he feels like.”

“hey nick, i’m pulling up to my house right now, can i call you back in a little bit?”

“sure! bye y/n.”

“bye.” you hang up as you walk into your house.

you would normally go to the triplets house at this time, or maybe facetime matt, but you can’t right now so you sit down and watch love island.

by the time you watch a few episodes, you realize how tired you are. you take a shower, do some skincare and go lay down.

you’re so tired, but you can’t sleep. you always sleep next to matt, or fall asleep on the phone with matt on the other end, but now you just feel empty.

an hour goes bye, and you’re still awake when you hear the front door to your house open.

you freeze in fear, unable to move, until you see matt open your bedroom door.

“hey, y/n.”

“hi.” you reply.

matt stands there in silence, then asking if he can sit in the corner of the bed.

“i’m sorry y/n.”

you just stare at him, unable to form words.

“i really am, i don’t know what i was thinking.” matt has tears running down his face as he sniffles.

“matt you were a complete douchebag.” you say, about to cry yourself.

“i know, i just was stressed about our new video and im tired. but i know there’s no excuses. ill leave if you want me to, i just wanted to say sorry.”

“you don’t have to leave matt. also, i’m sorry for calling you an asshole.” you say.

“well i was one.” matt says, wiping stray tears from his face.

“do you forgive me y/n?”

“yeah, just don’t do it again.”

you go into his arms as he holds you tightly, and you feel so much better.

“i love you y/n.”

“i love you too matt.”

matt gets in the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you. now, you drift off to sleep like a newborn baby.

[chukys-mouthguard]

broken memories

sequel to kinda tempting

4.3k words

featuring: mat barzal x female reader x matt rempe

warnings: miscarriage/loss of pregnancy, conversations about loss of pregnancy

The words of the doctor echoed in your ears as you sat in your apartment. Impatiently waiting for Matt to arrive home, picking at your nails as you couldn’t begin to formulate a plan of how to break the unfortunate news. Surely he’d be upset, angry as well. Which would be expected, the grieving process always brings out multiple emotions in everyone.

Trying to practice, your mouth could barely formulate the words. Tears not ceasing, just as you thought you’d pull yourself together you’d get choked up all over again.

The sound of your phone dinging on the couch beside you snapping you from your thoughts for a moment, a simple five minutes away :) text displayed on the screen as you felt your heart sink further into your stomach.

Not wanting to worry Matt too much, you hurried to dry your tears. Rushing to the bathroom to put some cold water on your face in hopes it would tone down the redness your crying had caused.

“Babe? I’m home!”

Hearing Matt’s voice call from the living room you did your best to calm your emotions, putting on a smile as you walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to greet him.

“There she is!”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he kissed your head. Despite your efforts to control your emotions, you felt the tears beginning to form once again.

“And how is baby girl doing?”

The smile on his face broke your heart, his hands caressing your stomach as he kissed over your shirt. His eyes flashing up at yours to see the tears falling, his smile fading immediately as he wrapped you in a hug once again. Unsure as to why you were crying, but trying his best to comfort you.

As his arms wrapped around you, it was as if your world came crashing down. Matt doing his best to console you as you sobbed into his chest, despite you not saying anything he’d figured it out. His own tears formed as he tried to be strong for you, knowing that was what you needed.

“Babe, y/n, can you talk to me, please? Tell me what happened.”

Pulling yourself from his arms you walked to the couch, taking a seat as you tried to explain. Not knowing what to say, he’d clearly figured it out himself, but still needed to hear you confirm.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry Matt.”

He didn’t want to crowd you, giving you space as he sat across from you on the ottoman, his emotions starting to get the better of him.

His gaze was glued to the floor as his hands rested at the back of his neck. You watched as he sat silent, the only sounds in the room were his sharp breaths as he tried to hold back his tears.

Something told you not to comfort him, instead just waiting for him to say something. But words didn’t come, only tears as he softly cried. Hands moving to cover his face as the reality settled in. The excitement of having a little girl was now washed away. No more plans for decorating the nursery together, the constant baby name discussions would now cease, and worst of all he’d have to break the news to his family. He’d just left them a few weeks ago having told them that things were great. And now things were anything but, the world seeming so cruel for having taken your baby from the two of you.

His hands now wiped his tears as he’d settled his breathing. Standing up and slowly pacing the floor as he tried to organize his thoughts. Not wanting to overstep, but needing to know what happened.

“I, I don’t mean to upset you, but, what happened? Do you know?”

“We, we don’t know. The doctor said sometimes there isn’t an explanation, and it seems so unfair, but. God, I hate that you weren’t there that day, having to be there and think it was just a normal routine check in. And it turned so dark so fast the moment we didn’t hear the heartbeat.”

You wiped your tears as Matt stopped in his tracks. A look of confusion now on his face as he glanced over to you.

“Wait, so, this happened at your appointment that was over a week ago?”

Nodding your head you looked at him confused. “Yeah, it was the one I had to schedule while you were in Connecticut because she didn’t have any other open appointments.”

A slight chuckle left his lips as his demeanor had changed from sad to almost annoyed.

“So, you’ve known for over a week, and I just find out now? You didn’t bother to call me to tell me? I could’ve come home, I could’ve been here for you! Why would you keep this from me?”

His voice was laced with hurt and anger, which you expected. It wasn’t that you wanted this to be a secret, but how were you supposed to tell him over the phone?

“Matt, I wasn’t calling or texting you about this! Plus, you had obligations, you couldn’t just back out, you signed contracts.”

“I think they’d fucking understand if I told them my girlfriend just lost our baby!”

Matt’s shout echoed throughout the apartment, despite knowing he’d be upset, this was the last reaction you’d expected. Him to be yelling at you, as if you’d done something wrong. As if you didn’t already feel bad enough, like losing the baby was somehow your fault.

“I can’t believe you kept this from me. I think I’m coming home to you and our baby, but instead-“

“You come home to just me? Gosh I’m sorry I’m not good enough! I’m sorry that I lost the baby, as if I did it on purpose.”

Not bothering to continue the argument Matt retreated down the hall. Slamming the door to your shared bedroom, causing you to jump. Tears continued to run down your cheeks as you could only blame yourself for not telling him sooner. Wishing you would’ve had the guts to break the news right away, maybe you two wouldn’t be fighting when instead you should be comforting one another.

The apartment grew silent after the slam of the door, Matt trying his best to relax, but the idea that you’d kept this from him for over a week not leaving his mind. His eyes moving from the floor to the dresser, landing on the framed photo the two of you used to announce your pregnancy. The two of you were out of focus as you held up the ultrasound photo. Matt holding a mini hockey stick with your due date written across it.

He picked up the frame, his grip on the edge tight as he saw a few tears fall to coat the glass. He remembered how excited he was to take those photos, and how he was even more excited to post them. Being able to share with the world the new journey the two of you would be experiencing.

But now, it all had been ripped out from under him. Having to process the emotions while also wanting to be there for you, despite you having kept the news from him over a week.

His anger slowly began to overtake his sadness once again as he threw the picture frame across the room. The glass shattered as he sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands as he sobbed once again. Wishing there was something he could do to make this all better, though he knew there was no changing it.

The shattering glass should’ve caught you off guard, but you knew that Matt was experiencing all the emotions that could be expected with this news. You’d had a week to process things and start grieving, but now it was his turn. As much as you wanted to run and comfort him, you knew he’d want to be alone. Needing to get out his anger and frustration however he felt would help.

Minutes, possibly an hour had gone by before Matt finally emerged from your bedroom. His clothes were now different as he searched the kitchen counter for his phone, appearing to be heading out.

“You’re leaving?”

Despite not trying to sound annoyed, you didn’t manage to hide it. Matt typing a text on his phone before he bothered to look up at you. Grabbing his keys from the counter as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, I am. I’m not sitting around here all night crying about this. If you want to do that, have fun. Although you’ve known for over a week, and I just found out thirty minutes ago. So excuse me if I’m gonna deal with this in my own way.”

Another slam of a door and he was gone. Your heart broke to see him so hurt, as if you had any other option. Knowing he was probably heading to meet up with some of the guys that had also come back into town for workouts before training camp would start back up. And while you knew he’d probably be going to get drunk or do anything to get his mind off of the news, you wished he would’ve stayed with you.

But your tears were now ceasing as you’d tried to pull yourself together. Reaching for your phone hoping social media could be some sort of distraction. You’d tried getting some work done earlier for the Rangers socials, but didn’t make it far, clearly obvious as you opened your Tik Tok to see a message asking if you wished to continue editing a post you’d quickly given up on.

As you closed out the message, a Tik Tok soon filled your screen that had been filtered for you since it was hockey related. And as the images of Mat Barzal getting down on one knee flashed before your eyes, followed by scenes of posing and kissing, you felt your heart break all over again.

The girl soon came into view and of all people for him to be engaged to, she was the last person you ever hoped to see.

While your relationship with Mat had hardships, you’d thought they were all things you could work through. Even the secret meetups and behind your back texts he’d been sending to this mystery girl you’d come to learn was named Ava.

You never told anyone, hoping it was something you could work through despite the rift it had caused. Partially being the reason you’d gone off and slept with Matt Rempe in the first place. You were so hurt to think it was easy for someone to do that to you, to think they would never get caught. And he didn’t, because you never outed him. You loved him so much that the second he’d shown a bit of improvement, you were sure that Ava was out of the picture and he was done with her.

Turns out you were wrong.

Had he been waiting to end things with you so he could be with her? It had only been five months since things ended between you two because of your pregnancy, to get engaged that quickly it was clear he’d never cut ties.

You knew you shouldn’t be hurt, but deep down you still loved Mat, you always would. If you could go back and change everything, you’d do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately the world didn’t work that way, and you had to deal with the cards you’d been dealt.

Not wanting to sit and sulk in your apartment any longer, you searched for your keys. Slipping on your shoes before heading out the door.

No destination in mind, just driving until you’d run out of energy or gas, whichever came first. It wasn’t until you’d seen signs for an all too familiar exit that you had realized where your subconscious had brought you.

The sign for Elmont made your heart ache, thinking of the memories that lived in this city. Muscle memory leading you to the parking garage connected to the apartment you used to call home. Finding a spot before you headed up to floor thirteen.

You wondered what the hell you were doing here, why you’d thought this idea was at all a good one. But if you were honest, you weren’t thinking at all. Your emotions getting the best of you as you reach to knock on the door, no chance to turn back.

The door opened and you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Seeing the familiar face behind it gives you goosebumps as you hadn’t thought even for a second what if someone else had opened the door.

“Y/n?”

Mat stared at you confused as you were the last person he’d expected to see at his door. Though you’d not thought of what you’d say if he was home, you knew this was the only time you’d probably get to say anything at all.

“Five months? It only took you five months to move on? Not to mention with her?”

Mat rolled his eyes as he rested an arm against the door, not wanting to argue with you when he knew there was no point.

“Y/n really? You don’t even know her to say anything about what I choose to do and with whom.”

“I know you were cheating on me with her Mat, you think I was oblivious to it?”

His eyes went wide as pushed his arm off the door, pulling you inside as this wasn’t a conversation he wanted the neighbors overhearing.

“I’m sorry?”

“You think I didn’t know? I knew about it all, but I loved you so much I thought we’d get past it. You started to change your behavior and I thought you were done with her. But clearly you never stopped, and now you’re fucking engaged to her?”

Your voice rang throughout his apartment as you paced the floor. Tears not able to form in your eyes as you’d surely cried every last one over the past week and a half. Mat let out a scoff as he watched you, waiting for an opportunity to spit back at you.

“Really? You’re going to scold me after you did the same fucking thing? If not worse? You cheated on me too, remember? And you’re fucking pregnant with that guys kid! How could we have ever recovered from that? I did cut ties with her, when I started changing my behavior it was genuine. Because I hated knowing I was doing that shit behind your back, because I loved you! And then you go and break my heart like that. So don’t try to paint me as the bad guy here okay? And why do you care anyways, you’re busy prepping for a baby with your boyfriend.”

His shouts were louder than yours as you could hear the anger that still lingered, the hurt he still felt at what you’d done. And while two wrongs certainly didn’t make a right, you both couldn’t change what you’d done. Whether it was one time, or ten, you’d both hurt one another with your actions.

Hearing him mention you being pregnant, you couldn’t help but wonder if you should tell him. Not that it would change a thing, he’d moved on and you were with Matt, but you felt he deserved to know.

“Not anymore.”

Your voice was soft, barely above a whisper as Mat’s angered expression quickly turned to one of confusion.

“Wait, what? You guys didn’t-“

“God no, I’d never do that. I lost the baby.”

He immediately regretted his words that he’d spat at you like they were nothing. How angry he’d sounded as he shouted at you, wishing he could have controlled his frustrations better.

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry. Come here.”

The familiar feeling of his arms wrapped around you was all it took for you to break down once again. His hold on you makes you forget any of your own frustrations as he tries his best to console you. Though he knew nothing he said would be good enough, there was nothing he could say that would make this better.

“I’m such an idiot, I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have-“

“Stop, it’s okay. Like you said, you didn’t know.”

He hated seeing you so broken. He knew despite the circumstances, you were excited to be a mother. And he wanted that for you, even if it was with someone else. But to know you’d lost the opportunity, in the most unexpected of ways, it broke his heart. You didn’t deserve that, no matter if you’d hurt him and done your own wrongs. No one deserves to go through the hurt you were.

“How is Matt handling the news?”

The two of you had eventually moved to the couch, Mat getting you some water and tissues as you’d finally been able to calm down a bit.

“Not well, at all. He’s angry, and hurt. Because I didn’t tell him right away. I couldn’t. He was on the road, that’s never something I would’ve texted or told him over the phone. But, he’s mad at me for it. I think he wants to believe it would’ve changed something, had he been here for the appointment.”

Mat listened intently, still unsure what was the right response. Of course never experiencing something like this he wanted to be sensitive to your emotions, but he didn’t want to stay too quiet.

“Well, I think he definitely needs time. Especially having not found out at the same time as you. But, how are you doing?”

He cautiously reached for your hand, not wanting to come across any particular way, but sensing you could use some comfort and reassurance. Despite all that happened, he still loved you, that was never going to change.

“I, I’m okay. Not great, but okay. I’ve just spent this last week and half really thinking about everything. Thinking about the future now that all our plans are going to be changing out of nowhere. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this right now, but, part of me thinks that Matt and I won’t make it through this.”

No matter his opinion of your relationship, Mat wanted the best for you. He wanted you happy, but the way you were talking. The change in your facial expression, he could read you like a book.

“I think you’re overthinking things, sure he’s upset now. But I’m sure once he takes some time to work through his feelings, you two will be okay!”

A slight chuckle left your lips as you shook your head.

“No, I’m not talking about that. I’m saying, if I hadn't gotten pregnant, he and I wouldn’t even be together right now. I’d still be with you, we’d be the ones planning a wedding. I don’t want to sound cold or heartless, but deep down I know I’m only with him because of the baby. If I had things my way, you know it would be you.”

His fingers tangled with yours as he smirked, the thought unbeknownst to you had also crept through his mind a few times. Wondering what if countless times.

What if he’d never snuck around behind your back, what if you hadn’t done the same to him. What if you’d never gotten pregnant, what if he’d still had you as his fiance. Surely you would have been married by now, even maybe expecting a baby of your own. At least, that’s how Mat would have planned it if he had the choice.

“Well, as much as I’d love to say that it still could be, things aren’t exactly that easy. Plus, you don’t even know if you and Matt are actually going to break up because of everything. Just, try to not get ahead of yourself, okay?”

He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as he checked his phone, noticing the time and hating to rush you out. But you knew you couldn’t stay longer, needing to get home so Matt didn’t wonder where you were.

He walked you to the door, wrapping you in a hug as he apologized once again.

“Listen, you need anything, and I mean anything, please don’t ever feel like you cannot come to me. Okay? I don’t care what happened, I love you, I always will, and I will always be here for you.”

Mat kissed your head before he said goodbye, watching you head down the hall as you dreaded the drive back home not knowing which Matt you would be coming home to. Whether or not he’d be drunk after drowning his feelings, or if he would have trashed more things in the apartment.

But as you returned home, you’d realized he wasn’t back yet. Leaving you to assess the damage from earlier when he’d retreated to your bedroom. Your eyes immediately falling on the shattered picture frame, your pregnancy announcement photo now laying on the floor. As if an accurate representation for how life now felt, a mess of broken memories.

The sound of the door opening letting you know Matt was home, his keys clanging against the counter as you heard him making his way down the hall. Leaning against the door frame he watched as you finished cleaning up the glass, placing the photo on the dresser as you headed for the kitchen in need of a trash can.

“Can we talk?”

His voice was soft, a little hoarse as if he’d been crying. You looked at him with a blank expression, heading to the couch as you assumed he’d follow suit. Which he did, finding a place on the couch as he sighed. The two of you sat in silence for what felt like thirty minutes before either of you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that alone. I hate I wasn’t here for you, to comfort you while you experienced the roller coaster of emotions that can come with news like that. And I hate that you felt you couldn’t tell me before I came home tonight, but I hope you understand my frustrations. I didn’t mean to walk out on you, but I had a lot to think about.”

“Like what?”

A look of confusion washed over you as he tossed his hat to the side, running a hand through his hair. A deep sigh left his lips as he took a second to gather his thoughts.

“Losing the baby opened my eyes to a lot of things, and as much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I just don’t think I can do this. We both know, whether we want to admit it or not, we are only here right now because of the baby. If you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, you and Mat would probably be married right now. This was never real, as much as we wanted it to be for the baby. It was never going to be me, no matter how much I hoped it would be. No matter how easily we fell into this routine trying to make this work. Without the baby, what are we?”

Despite having had the same thoughts, it didn’t make this conversation hurt any less. The idea that you weren’t wrong for thinking the baby was the only thing keeping you and Matt together. No matter how hard you tried convincing yourself that the feelings were real and you were happy with Matt, deep down it didn’t feel right. Sure being with the father of your child made sense, it felt natural, the right thing to do. But when that man was the person you’d cheated on your boyfriend with, never anything more, it was hard to make a relationship work from that.

“I don’t hate you, I have so much love in my heart for you. I wish this could have been our story, but maybe, as shitty as this is losing our baby. Maybe this was our sign that it wasn’t meant for us, at least not together.”

You hadn’t noticed any tears until Matt reached out to wipe one from your cheek, his hand resting to caress your cheek.

“I’m gonna pack up as much of my stuff as I can tonight, I’m gonna go stay with the Quick’s for a little bit while I continue my training before camp. I’ll come back and get the rest of my things as I’m able.”

Nodding your head you took a deep breath, smiling up at him despite the pain you felt. Never imagining this day to come, thinking the two of you were in this for the rest of your lives.

You watched as Matt retreated to the bedroom, packing up whatever he could take with him. Keeping your space to let him take care of things as you tried to keep busy tidying up the apartment.

The sound of him shuffling down the hall made you stop your cleaning, meeting him by the front door as he gave you a soft smile. Dropping his bags as he wrapped you in a hug, kissing your head before reaching for the door.

“If you need anything, I’m just a call away okay?”

With that, he was gone, and the apartment once again felt ten times larger being there alone. Checking the time you knew you needed to go to bed, the day having drained every last ounce of energy from you.

Searching for your phone you’d found it on the couch, realizing you never bothered to text Mat you’d made it home safe. Not that you expected him to worry, his offer to text him if you needed anything seemed like a subconscious thing said in passing.

To: Mat Barzal

Made it home safe, been dealing with a bit…matt packed his things and left

[imtryingbuck]

Divorce Always Comes With A Price.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky confesses to having an affair and wants a divorce

Word count: 1023

Warnings: Angst. That’s all.

A/N: there’s going to be a second part.

Masterlist

Part 2

The skies start to turn dark even with the sun shining brightly, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was forewarning for what’s to come.

Taking a deep breath, you look up at the sky to see the birds flying freely with no care in the world. Looking around there’s two paramedics sitting in the van waiting for another call to come through, seeing two young new parents with their bundle of joy waiting for a car to pull up. You smile. Then your pushed to the side. A man in a suit on his phone talking rather loudly about how long he had to wait to be seen. You still smile. That’s when your phone goes off and you see the notification that your Uber has arrived. 

Marty your driver talks about his wife and three children with so much passion and love you just simply can’t wipe the smile off your face. When it’s time to depart you tip him twice the charge and wish him all the best. Walking into the lobby of the huge building, smiling at everyone you come across. With the news that the doctors told you, you just can’t stop appreciating everything and everyone. Stepping out of the elevator your heart soars seeing your family gathered around.

Bucky shoots straight to his feet and before you can say anything he hands you a folder.

Not looking at you he speaks in a voice you can only describe as detached “I want a divorce I need you to sign these. I’ve been having an affair for the past 4 months and I love her”.

The smile you’ve been wearing drops along with your heart. The air is cut off. The room is spinning. Your world has ended. Trying so hard not to strutter which fails as you ask “y-y-um you l-lo-ve her?”

This man who’ve been your husband for the past two years boyfriend of three, the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with you, is same man that can’t even look you in the eyes as he breaks your heart in to smithereens. He nods. With your his families eyes on you, you do the same. With a shaky hand you take the pen out of James’s outstretched one. With a stuttering breath you sign your name. 

You dare yourself to take one last look at his handsome face before you fall backwards and walk out, no one utters a single word. It feels like time stands still as you wait for the elevator doors to open.

It’s only once you’re outside you realise there’s tears pouring out of your eyes. How long they have been falling is unknown to you. You have no idea how long you’ve been standing still like a statue in front of the building doors. It’s only when you hear the mighty rumble up above you take notice of the rain, its only then you take a step forward then the next and the next. You don’t even realise you’ve walked all the way back to your home drenched head to toe and shivering but you barely flinch.

How you’ve done it is lost on you but you’ve packed all your things up. This isn’t your home, it’s Bucky’s he brought it. Your best friends at the door helping you get everything out, he brings you into a tight hug whispering ‘everything going to be ok’ it’s not. And you’re the only one who knows it.

It’s been a month since that day, and it’ll be the first time today that you’ll be seeing him again. Staying with Matt for the past four weeks has been okay, you just wish you could wake up from this nightmare and be at home with your husband. Not your husband idiot, he’s with someone else now. He’s divorcing you to be with her. He loves her not you. Idiot. Wishing the voices in your head would leave you just like your husband did. 

He still looks the same, still smells the same. Still not looking in your direction which you’re grateful for, if he did you’d break down in a fit of tears. 

“—I don’t want anything in the divorce, he can keep the house the money, everything. I will have no use for that stuff” you speak in a soft way. And with that it’s done. You’re no longer Y/N Barnes, you’re no longer married to James Buchanan Barnes. You take your leave as fast as you possibly can. You can’t bear to spend another minute around him. As you begin to walk down the corridor with Matt and Foggy on either side of you, you seem them. The people that were your family sitting there on the benches waiting for your now ex-husband, they all bore sad expressions but it’s not them you pay attention to no it’s the brunette-haired woman you’ve never seen before. She’s gorgeous. You take a wild guess and assume she’s the woman Bucky had an affair with. Your heart breaks. But you can see why he loves her. Your feet start to slow down on their own accord Matt notices so ever so gently he grabs your hand and gives a small smile.

Getting back to the apartment where you’ve been staying with Matt you finally let the floodgates open and you make no effort at all to make them stop. Matt stands there not knowing what to say or do, nothing he can say will make this pain go away. So he does the same thing he’s done for the past month, he holds you, he holds you so tightly hating the universe for doing this to such a beautiful, incredible loving person. Hating James for causing you grief, hating the other woman even though he doesn’t know her, hating the all mighty avengers for not doing anything for you. Hating how even with the pain and turmoil you’ve been feeling this past month you can’t find it in yourself to hate the person who’s done this to you. He continues to hold you long after you pass out.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[chvoswxtch]

jealousy

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader x frank castle

summary: matt gets jealous that you're home taking care of frank while he's at work.

warnings: swearing, explicit sexual content (minors dni)

a/n: I just wanted to see matty jealous of frankie and live my fantasy of them both being my boyfriends. that's all.

word count: 1.8k

[part two: forgiveness][part three: revenge]

Jealousy was not an emotion Matt Murdock felt very often. He knew the law like the back of his hand, and had a talent for winning over juries with his smooth voice and irrefutable logic. His heightened senses and years of training gave him the upper hand when it came to taking down criminals. And since his “relationships” typically never lasted longer than a month or two, there wasn’t ever a sense of competition there.

Until you.

Because right now, he was in his office up to his elbows in casework while you were at home taking care of Frank, and jealousy practically seeped out of his pores.

He knew it wasn’t fair of him to feel jealous. Matt pretty much had you all to himself whenever Frank was away. And when Frank did come home, he usually joined Matt at night for patrols, and they’d return home to you together. 

Although usually the first one or two nights Frank came home, he was too tired to join Matt, and eventually Matt stopped bothering going out those first two nights anyway.

Because he couldn’t focus on anything hearing what Frank was doing to you in your shared bed. 

It was only fair that Frank got to spend some alone time with you too. He didn’t get it as much as Matt did. But that logic did nothing to dull the envy that turned his blind rage a deep shade of green. 

Even though you all three had an agreement about your relationship, Matt always struggled with possessiveness. It wasn’t even just towards you, but with Frank too. He got jealous when Frank did jobs with other people, even though he knew there were no feelings there and that Frank was coming home to him. He was selfish when it came to the two of you. After a lifetime of losing everyone he ever cared about due to death or abandonment, he held on tightly to the two people he loved most in this world, and refused to ever loosen his grip.

Frank needed your care. He needed you to put him back together, to be gentle with him and help him relax. He needed you to chase the darkness away in his head and the storm in his chest. He needed your candied words in his ear and your gentle touch on his skin. Matt knew that, because he knew how much he needed it when he came home sometimes. You created a safe haven for them both in your body, and there wasn’t anything your words or touch couldn’t fix.

Your touch.

Matt clenched his jaw thinking about you and Frank right now. He wondered if you were on your knees for Frank, using your talented mouth to make the big, bad Punisher beg for a God he didn’t believe in. He shuddered thinking about how you had woken him up last Friday morning with your warm mouth, taking your time bringing him to the brink of pleasure before climbing onto his lap to fuck him slowly into the mattress. You held his hands firmly above his head, intertwining your fingers tightly together and moaned soft praises into his ear while kissing him breathless. You always treated him so well.

Maybe Frank was on his knees. Maybe Frank had you spread out over the dining table with his head nestled between your thighs. God your taste was something else. If there was one thing he and Frank agreed on, it was that neither one of them could get enough of having their face buried in your pussy. And if there was one thing they fought over the most, it was who got to eat you out first.

Matt could feel his cock starting to harden as the phantom scent of your arousal hit his nose purely from memory. Were you riding Frank on the couch? He could practically hear the whine you would let out as Frank’s thick cock stretched you out. It didn’t matter how many times either of them fucked you. You were always so tight. Were you bent over the dining room table? Frank only liked to take you from behind when he really needed you and couldn’t wait. Like last month when he pulled the both of you into the bathroom at Josie’s because you wore that sundress that drove them both fucking insane, and he’d fucked you roughly from behind while you took Matt’s cock down your throat.

A low moan reverberated in his chest as he lightly palmed himself through his slacks, hissing slightly at the contact. He knew Frank. It had been two weeks since he’d seen you. Matt knew he most likely had you under him in your shared bed, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, lightly grasping onto your throat as he fucked you gently, making you come over and over and over until neither one of you could physically take it anymore. He could hear your breathless pleas and Frank’s low grunts echoing in his ears. 

A slight shiver caused goosebumps to erupt all over his skin at the thought. Matt enjoyed fucking you both, there was no denying that. But he loved making love to you both more. He preferred when the three of you could take your time together, when he could feel how much you all wanted each other; how much you all loved each other. He had been so touch starved until he met you, and now he felt like he couldn’t go more than a few hours without affection. Frank was more selective with his sentiments, but Matt craved them all the same. He reveled in the lingering touches, the soft kisses, the rough calloused hands massing over his aching muscles, blunt nails scratching at his scalp. 

A pang suddenly pierced through Matt’s heart at the thought of you and Frank alone together. He would never admit it out loud, but it made him feel left out. A piece of him always secretly feared that you might favor one of them over the other. He worried that in Frank’s absence, he asked too much of you, or smothered you with his need for attention. He constantly feared that you felt relieved when Frank came home, because it meant you got a break from him.

Before he could stop himself, Matt was commanding his phone to dial your number, and the longer it rang, the faster his heart raced with anticipation. 

“Hi Matty.”

A shaky breath released from Matt’s chest he hadn’t realized he was holding when he heard your voice. Warmth bloomed beneath his ribcage hearing the evident smile on your face through your tone.

“Hi sweetheart.”

“How’s work going?”

“Fine, fine.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, no everythings fine. Just…missing you is all.”

Matt felt his cock twitch in his briefs as your melodic giggle filled his ear through the speaker.

“Matty, baby, you’ve been gone for three hours.”

A deep shade of red flushed onto his cheeks as he cleared his throat, gripping onto his own thigh tightly to steady himself as embarrassment pooled in his veins.

“I know.”

“That Red?”

Matt’s ears perked up hearing Frank’s voice in the background, his tongue darting out quickly to wet his lips as he listened intently.

“Yeah, he said he misses you Frankie.”

“Yeah, I know exactly what he’s missin’ right now. Gimme the phone.”

“Frankie-”

A furrow formed between Matt’s brows hearing a shuffle on the other end of the line before Frank’s gruff voice came through.

“You’re a selfish little shit, you know that?”

“I didn’t do anything-”

“You get her to yourself all the goddamn time, and you can’t let me have one fuckin’ day-”

“Frank, I was just calling to-”

“To see if I fucked her without you.”

Matt’s breath hitched in his throat as his mouth clamped shut. The only person that knew him better than you was Frank. Grinding his teeth together slightly, he let his head hang between his shoulders as a soft sigh escaped his mouth.

“Did you?”

“All mornin’. Woke her up nice and good. She came twice in my mouth before you even made it to your office.”

Matt groaned lowly as he squeezed his eyes shut, digging his nails into his thigh through the material of his pants.

“Told me she woke you up real good the other mornin’ too, huh?”

“Fuck, yeah she did.”

“She’s a real peach, ain’t she?”

Matt chuckled breathlessly, letting his head fall back as a steady exhale left his mouth.

“She’s a fucking angel.”

“You got that right. Can’t figure out what the fuck she’s doin’ with us, but I ain’t gonna question a good thing. Tell me somethin’, Red. How hard are ya right now?”

Matt whimpered lowly at the sultry tone of Frank’s teasing voice, his hand sneaking over to grasp at the bulge in his slacks of its own accord.

“Very.”

“Hands off.”

“Frank-”

“I said hands off, Red.”

Matt let out a frustrated groan as he removed his hand, listening to Frank’s chuckle ring in his ears.

“Good boy. Now get your ass home. You got fifteen minutes before I start without ya.”

Matt’s lips parted slightly at Frank’s command, and there was another shuffle on the other end of the line before he heard your voice come through.

“Matty?”

Another shiver descended down his spine hearing the lust that dripped from your voice.

“Yes my love?”

“Are you coming home?”

Your breath hitched slightly towards the end, and Matt groaned lowly again knowing exactly what was happening on the other end of the line.

“Yes, honey. I’m leaving right now. Is Frank touching you?”

“Y-Yes, Matty. He said-oh…he wanted…wanted to make sure you-shit…came home to us.”

“I’m coming, sweetheart.”

“Not yet, but you will be, Red. Hurry your ass up. Clock’s tickin’.”

“Matty.”

Matt trapped his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he suddenly stood, gathering all of his things in a haste.

“Don’t come until I get there.”

“But Matty-”

“What did I say?”

A low growl ripped through his chest, and he gripped onto his cane until his knuckles turned white hearing a soft whimper followed by a giggle.

“Frankie said I could.”

“Frankie’s not always around to protect you, angel. Remember that. I’ll be home soon. Be a good girl for me, honey.”

Matt wasn’t sure if he even gave Karen or Foggy an excuse as to why he rushed out so suddenly, clutching his briefcase over the front of his pants to hide the tent that had formed. He hadn’t even bothered to unfold his cane, and practically ran until his lungs burned until he reached his building. He didn’t care if people saw him and questioned how a blind man moved so quickly without a guide. He probably should have, but he couldn’t find it in himself to.

Because he was home, and so were you and Frank, and you two were the only things he really cared about anymore.

tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @day-dreaming-goddess. @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

[zsturiolosx]

Pretty accident

Pairing: Dom!chris x Reader

Summary: When you are just searching for something to eat in the fridge, and Chris sees your micro shorts by accident…

Warnings: Smutt, make out, kinda public, pet names cursing, overstimulation.

You’ve been in the triplets house, your best friends, for almost a day now. You slept over yesterday, and now they don’t want you to leave.

It’s almost dinner time, well, for you, and there’s nothing to eat in their fridge. You are searching for food, bending a little down, so focused on your journey you don’t hear the world around you.

“Damn, there’s nothing to eat here” You mumble, getting annoyed only by the idea of cooking now.

Then suddenly, you hear someone whispering by the door.

“Oh, my god- fuck…” You look up and sees Chris, one of your best friends, turning around and quickly leaving the place.

“Chris!” You laugh, calling him to come back, he slowly turns around, walking to you “what’s wrong?”

You were still smiling, even if chris’s face looked worried.

“Nothing. I need to go, like, now.” He again turns around, but you grab his arm and stare at his ocean blue eyes.

“Chris, what happened? Y’know you can tell me anything, yeah?” As you talk more, looking at him giving all your attention, his face changes from worry to desperate.

“fuck, I just can’t talk to you right now” you laugh, nervously.

What the fuck happened - you think to yourself.

You look down, not wanting him to see your worried expression, but you realize, lowering your vision, that chris was holding his crotch with both of his hands.

“what the… “ you mumble, realizing that his sweat pants were tightening around his thighs.

He follow your eyes, looking down to his pants.

“Shit, i’m so sorry, Y/n!” He says, then he takes his hands and put them on your shoulders.

When chris does that, you can clearly see every inch, hardening more with every second. You feel your body heating up, and although you’re trying, you can’t take your eyes off of it.

It is just so…big, and you’ve never seen one your entire life, being a 19 years old virgin.

Some people think it’s crazy, waiting that long, but you never seemed to mind, you wanted to be with someone very special.

You hear foot steps, and distance talks, taking you out of your transe.

You run and hide him beside you, accidentally touching his dick with your ass.

“Fuck- don’t do that” he whimpers in your ear, making shivers go down your neck.

“Hey guys.” Nick says, blocking his phone and looking at you guys. “what’s up?”

“nothing” you say and smile, shyly, and chris just stands there.

He wasn’t able to do nothing but squeeze your arm, trying not to cum just for the feeling of your body touching his hard rock dick.

“ya’ll are weird” Matt says and laughs, your faces were weird for a fact, but they couldn’t know what happened to chris.

They left after getting two cans of soda out of the fridge and you finally release your breath, not even knowing you were holding it.

You slowly turn around, realizing how close you were next to him. Your mouths were inches apart, his hot breath were caressing gently your skin.

“chris…” you whisper, his eyes were looking down on you, and his pupils were almost occupying his whole eyes.

“i’m really sorry, love, i don’t know what happened to me. I just… saw you bending down on your micro shorts and my mind went places.” His voice were low and raspy, your entire body heated up and you were no more controlling your actions.

You stand in your toes and wrap your hands around his neck, gently scratching the back of his neck. And the next thing you know is that your mouth was touching his.

His arms wrap your waist tightly, the kiss starts to heat up, and he asks for permission caressing your bottom lip with his tongue.

You let him, and your tongues start touching, like in a perfect dance. It was incredible, giving shivers all over your body.

The kisses go down your neck, leaving hickeys all over you. Chris suddenly picks you up, holding you by your ass.

He walks a little and leaves you on top of the counter, the unexpected contact of the cold marble with your thighs make you gasp. But Chris doesn’t stop, he keeps kissing you with all of his self.

His hands that were in your waist go a little down, meeting with the elastic of your shorts, quickly meeting your panties.

“Can I, love?” He asks during the kiss, just getting a needy yes from you.

His fingers quickly go inside your clothes, finding your weak spot. You gasp, letting a small moan leave your mouth.

Chris is quick, and his finger meets your folds, Chris puts his fingers slowly into you, already giving you the biggest pleasure you’ve ever felt.

Suddenly, he is fucking you with two fingers. You couldn’t control the moans that were leaving your mouth.

You were biting his shoulder, trying not to make everybody hear you, but when you feel the knot forming in you stomach, you leave a big moan out, that makes Chris whimpers.

“Chris- mhm… they are.. gonna hear us” You try to say, fighting your orgasm.

“You’re right, love” Chris responds, taking his fingers off of you, and you immediately feel an empty sensation.

He picks you up, your legs wrapping around his body, and starts to walk to his room. Chris closes the door behind you and leaves you in his bed.

Your body was still covered, leaving only place to imagination. Chris goes on top of you, leaving kisses and small bites all over you neck and shoulders.

He was teasing you, going slow and taking his time, but he realized that you were needy. Chris interrupted your orgasm, and he could still feel your body trembling a little bit.

When he reaches your top, he looks at you, asking for permission to take it off, and you quickly nod a yes.

The vision of your boobs in that white lace bra was just maddening to him, made him crazy. His dick was hurting already, but he knew it was your first time and he did not wanted to rush you.

Chris kisses your whole body and going down, leaving a trail of kisses through your stomach.

You grab his face, bringing him to you again. You were impatient and wanting to feel him fill you up.

“Chris, please… “ You beg, with doe eyes. He smirks and kisses you passionately.

“So needy for me, huh?” He says, getting up and pulling down his pants, his boxers were filled, tight. But before he did anything, he went over you again and left a kiss on your jaw.

“Are you sure, love? We can stop if you want” He whispers, looking at you carefully. Chris was treating you like you were made out of glass, and that made you feel so good.

“Yes, Chris, please.” You kiss him, feeling your body energizing.

He nods and back away for a minute, taking off his boxers, then slowly taking off your micro shorts and white panties. He could never imagine a better vision than the one he had now, you were just so perfect for him.

“You are so fucking amazing” He whispers, smiling at your, now, exposed body.

Once Chris is back up, he alights himself with your entrance.

You wrap your hands around his shoulders, preparing yourself. He slowly starts pushing into you, you feel every inch penetrating your body.

“Oh my- fuck, chris!” You say, biting your lips to fight the urge to scream.

It was a burning sensation, but it was almost turning to pure pleasure. Your walls were squeezing around him, making him whimper into your ear.

You dig your nails into his skin, not being able to contain your moans and whimpers.

“Fuck- You’re so tight for me, love” His low and raspy voice was driving you to the edge, the knot again building in your stomach.

But when you look down, you see that only half of him were inside of you. You knew he was big, but not that much.

“Chris, mhm- You can move now” You look at him, his eyes were shining when they met yours. Chris gave you a kiss before pushing into you again.

The burning sensation comes back, your mouth hanging open, moans leaving it and filling the room. Once the pain turns to pleasure, you squeeze him and Chris starts thrusting into you.

It did not last long until your legs starts shaking, the knot growing more and more, until you could feel like you wouldn’t last.

“Chris, i’m gonna… mhm, fuck-“ Your whole body trembles, moans leaving your mouth as loud as you can. Your liquid spilling all over Chris’s dick.

“Fuck, just… wait a bit, love” He whimpers, his thrusting becoming sloppier and sloppier. You feel Chris’s body tremble, and finally, painting your walls white.

You feel his cum warm you in the inside, you both look down and see the bulge appearing on your belly. Your breathing were accelerated and uneven.

Chris pulls out of you, laying down on your side, his fingers gently caressing your hair.

“Are you okay, my love?” He asks carefully, leaning and giving you a quick kiss.

“I have never felt better.”

author: GUYS this is my first time doing this 😭 i hope it’s good!! i had this idea like weeks ago but i was too lazy to write it hahaha

[huntiesworld]

How long has it been since you slept? | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Summary: Y/n and Matt break up due to him being away from her. After months of not seeing each other Matt goes to see her to apologize for his mistake. 

Warning: Crying, sadness, depression. 

Requested?: Nope! 

Author's note: That is my work, Please DON’T COPY MY WORK!! Kinda based on Twilight New Moon. 

The days have blended into an unending blur of gray since Y/n and Matt Sturniolo had parted ways. Her room, once a sanctuary of warmth and light, had become a prison of sorrow. She hadn’t left her room since the breakup. The once vibrant space was now filled with an unbearable stillness, broken only by the occasional creak of the floorboards as she shifted in her chair by the window. 

Y/n sat motionless in her chair, her eyes fixed on the view outside her window. The world beyond was vibrant with spring’s awakening, but it felt distant, like a dream she couldn’t quite grasp. It had been months since she last left her room. Days blurred together, punctuated only by her sporadic tears and the deafening silence that followed. 

She was staring at the blooming cherry blossom tree, a cruel reminder of the day her world fell apart. The tree had been in full bloom that day too, as if mocking her pain. She closed her eyes and was thrust into the memory she had tried desperately to bury. 

You haven’t been good for long 

 —--The day of breakup—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a bright and sunny afternoon. Y/n and Matt had been arguing more frequently, but she never thought it would lead to this. She remembered the loom in his eyes, the mix of frustration and sorrow as he spoke the words that shattered her heart.

“I can’t do this anymore, Y/n. We’re both miserable, and it's not fair to either of us,”  Matt had said, his voice barely a whisper. 

“But we can fix this, Matt, We can work it out.” she pleaded, tears streaming down her face. “I love you.” 

Is it the sound of your thoughts 

“I love you too.” he replied, his voice breaking. “But love isn't enough anymore. We need to let each other go.” 

She watched as he packed his things, every moment a dagger to her heart. When he walked out the door, it felt like he had taken a piece of her with him. 

—-End of flashback—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n’s body convulsed with sobs. The pain was raw, as if it had just happened. She clutched her chest, the agony of her broken heart manifesting as a physical ache. She screamed, the sound echoing through the empty house a cry for help that no one would hear. 

Mauve it times to say goodbye 

 Matt stood at the front door, his hand poised to knock when he heard her anguished cries. His heart sank, he had been away for too long, trying to sort out his feelings, and now he realized the depth of the damage he had caused. He fumbled with his keys, finally opening the door and rushing inside. 

“Y/n?” he called out, his voice filled with worry. He followed the sound of her cries to her room and froze in the doorway. 

Y/n looked up, her eyes red and swollen, her face a mask 0f despair. “Matt?” she croaked, barely believing he was real.”

He moved toward her, his heart breaking at the sight of her broken and fragile. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you this much.” 

Cause im getting pretty fucking tired

 She stared at him, a mix of anger and relief washing over her. “You left me, Matt. You left me alone.” 

Matt reached out, gently cupping her face in his hands. “How long has it been since you slept?” he asked, his voice breaking with emotion, “Or eaten properly?” 

She shrugged, the simple gesture feeling monumental. “I ...I don’t know.: she whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse. “Since you left …everything fell apart.” 

You haven't felt right for days

 His face crumpled with guilt and sorrow. “Y/n, I'm sorry. I thought leaving was the right thing to do, but I was wrong. I should have never left you.”  She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. “Why now?” she asked, the question heavy with the weight of a month's worth of loneliness and heartbreak. 

“I realized I couldn’t live without you.” he said, his voice trembling. “I thought I was protecting you, but all I did was hurt you. I’ve missed you every single day, and when I heard how you were doing, I knew I had to come back.” 

A tear slipped down her cheek, and Matt gently brushed it away with his thumb. “Please, Y/n. Let me help you, Let me make it right.” 

Maybe it times to shut away

She opened her eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity, but all she saw was genuine regret and a desperate longing to heal the wounds he had caused. Slowly, she nodded. “Okay.” she whispered. “But it's going to take time.” 

”I know,” he said, pulling her into a tender embrace. “And I'll be here, every step of the way. I promise.” 

After a while, he gently pulled to her feet. “Come on,” he said softly. “Let's get you cleaned up.” 

He led her to the bathroom, turning on the shower and adjusting the temperature. He helped her undress, his touch tender and careful, and guided her under the warm spray. As the water cascaded over her, washing away the tears and the pain, Matt stayed close, his presence a steady comfort. 

Once she was clean and wrapped in a towel, he led her to the kitchen. “You need to eat something.”  he said, his voice gentle but firm. He rummaged through her fridge and cabinets, finally settling on making a simple meal of scrambled eggs and toast. She watched him, her heart aching with a mixture of love and regret. 

He placed the plate in front of her and sat down beside her. “Eat.” he urged and she took  a small bite, the food tasting like ash. But she ate, because he asked her to, because he was there. 

Cause i've been eating less all day

After she had eaten, Matt took her hand and led her to the bedroom. They lay down on the bed, and he pulled her close, his arms around her. “I’m sorry.” he whispered into her hair. 

“Me too.” she replied, her voice barely audible. 

They lay in silence, the weight of their past hanging over them. But as they held each other, the distance between them seemed to lessen, the hurt beginning to heal. Slowly, they drifted off to sleep, finding solace in each other’s arms. 

------------------------------------------------------

Heres my Monday fic!! Thank you, guys, for giving me likes on my fics. It means a lot to me!!!

[sarosfilms]

hold you in my arms

matthew sturniolo x fab! reader

˚ · . summary he comforts you after a breakup.

˚ · . content fluff, angst

˚ · . word count 1090

彡 masterlist | taglist | other accounts

a knock on their door had shifted their attention from the television. matt stood up from his place on the couch, considering he sat closer to the door. his steps echoed throughout the house as he climbed down the stairs to the garage. as he opened the door, your figure appeared in the darkness. he could sense there was something off about your demeanor.

“he broke up with me,” you sniffed. his shoulders slumped, immediately grabbing your shoulders and pulling you towards his body. his arms wrap around your figure in a tight embrace. he knew this was gonna happen. he never liked your boyfriend. your boyfriend was a stubborn and selfish man who only liked having you around to prove to everyone else he was a good person. but in closed doors, he was nothing but cold to you. matt knew this, having had to pick you up from his apartment complex, only to find you drowning in your own tears. of course this gesture between you and matt only made your boyfriend despise you even more. knowing that deep down you were no longer his, long gone, heart belonged to another man for months. he finally broke it off with you.

“why?” matt feigned concern, but deep down he was beyond relieved you were finally rid of him. he wouldn’t try to make a move on you, knowing that was probably the most toxic thing he could ever do. but that doesn’t mean he can’t be there for you, especially when you need him now more than ever.

“he- he said he couldn’t handle being with a girl who wasn’t even in love with him,” your voice laced with hurt. even if you knew he was right, your heart belonged to someone else, you couldn’t help but deny. you knew you were in love with matt for years, but you always subsided these emotions because you never wanted to change the dynamic between the two of you. as if it could shatter both of your worlds.

“hey, is that y/n?” you heard nick ask from upstairs. “yeah, but i don’t think she wants to talk much,” matt stated, his arms still wrapped around your shoulders in a heavy embrace. his heart pounding as he took in your scent. your hair slightly wet after coming here in the rain. “do you want to go upstairs?” he asked softly, only coming out as a whisper, scared if he spoke any louder, it would shatter you into a million pieces. you nodded in his chest, arms removing themselves from around his body. you watched as matt held out his hand for you to grab.

as you intertwined your hands, the two of you walked up the stairs to see both chris and nick on the couch. you could tell they were worried when they noticed your tearful expression.

“here, come here,” matt spoke softly to you. he walked the two of you to the couch beside nick, where he originally sat. his arms opened, as if asking you to sit with him. you walked over to him, sitting next to him as his arms wrapped around you once again. you wrapped an arm around his shoulders, matt had shifted your legs over his thighs. his hand behind you, arms wrapped around your waist, while the other sat on the top of your thigh. he rubbed your thigh back and forth comfortingly.

“do you want to talk about it?” you hear chris speak up finally. but before you could get a word out, you let out a sob, shaking your head. you were afraid if you spoke anymore, your voice would betray you. “that’s alright,” matt spoke softly. he pulled you into his chest slightly. “we’re here for you, y/n.”

you smiled softly at his statement. you were glad you had three amazing friends who would comfort you after something like heartbreak. but what you wanted to know was why it didn’t feel like heartbreak.

“yeah, you’re free to stay over as long as you need to, okay?” nick said. he approached you, rubbing your shoulder before stating he needed to go edit for a little bit. you knew he would end up staying in his room and falling asleep right after. “it’s late, we should all go to bed, where are you going to sleep, y/n?” chris asked. normally you would sleep with nick, as you thought sleeping with matt would be too weird. you would sometimes sleep with chris, if you were sleeping over and he needed someone to sleep with. considering his brothers were tired and wanted to sleep alone, you never complained. but tonight, something felt right with matt. he just brought comfort wherever he was. “matt’s,” was all you said. matt looked at you, his eyes scanning yours. he knows that you don’t normally sleep with him unless necessary for either one of you. you have previously stayed with him before. when either one of you needed someone to talk to. matt walked the two of you to his room as you parted ways from nick and chris, waving goodnight to both of them.

as matt opened his door, you slowly walked over to his bed. you sat at the edge of his bed as you watched him situate everything in his room. you watched him lay on his bed, before opening his arms for you to lay on him. you crawled over to his figure on his bed, laying your body slightly on his chest. your chest moving up and down softly as he began whispering sweet nothings. “everything will be okay.”

“you deserve better than him.”

“i’m here for you.”

you shook your head slightly, unable to believe him. “how am i supposed to move on from this?”

“with me,” matt stated, moving aside a few strands that were in your face. your gaze fell on him, a look of pure admiration written on your face. you didn’t know what to say. “with us.”

he reached up, his fingers grazing your tear stained cheeks, wiping any remaining tears. his eyes flickered to your lips, hesitantly leaning down before his lips crashed onto yours. his lips molding with yours fervently. his hands slipped past your shoulders, landing on your waist. pulling you closer as pulled his lips away from yours. your eyes fluttered open, your gaze falling onto his face.

“i know it’s too soon, but i love you, y/n.”

“i love you, too, matt. i’ve always loved you. it’s always been you.”

tags ⋆  @recklessmatt @scvrllet @l34n @slutforsturniolos @flouvela @mattitvdes @certifiedstarrr @aesthetixhoe

© sarosfilms | princekooks

[sturnioloshacker]

confession of love - a matt sturniolo short

a/n: requested by anon; lowercase intended

cw: angst, make out session, crying, matt being a sweetheart

summary: matt confesses his love for his best friend since seventh grade

in the dim light of a rainy boston evening, matt stood nervously in front of the quaint, empty park that him and his best friend y/n always go to. it’s been their favourite spot to hang out, eat food and just simply talk since they first met in seventh grade. 

it wasn’t until their junior year that matt knew he was falling for his best friend but always kept his feelings for her inside him as he was afraid of ruining his relationship with her. now in their senior year, matt had absolutely fallen truly, madly and deeply for his best friend. from her cute smile to her bubbly personality, matt had to let her know how really felt. 

so here he stands, under the dim streetlight, heart racing as he clutched a small bouquet of y/n’s favourite flowers. raindrops fell from the sky, making his clothes cling to his body. he mumbles the words he’s been wanting to say to her a hundred times in his head, but now, they felt heavy on his tongue. he had messaged her to meet him at their spot but he was left on read. 

maybe she was busy, maybe she went to reply but got distracted, maybe he scared her off with the message. tears pricked at his eyes as he hung his head low. she’s not coming, he thought as he started his walk back to the car. he goes to turn his back when he notices a figure approaching. y/n. 

matt turns back around, holding the flowers against his chest. he noticed the way y/n’s hair stuck to her face and the way her clothes clung to her. god, she is perfect! as she came closer, matt flashed his cheeky grin. she stopped in front of him and flashed her cheeky grin that made his heart stop. 

“matty, what are you doing out here in the rain?” she asked, slightly puzzled.

matt takes a deep breath before pouring his entire heart and soul to his best friend.

“y/n, there’s something i need to tell you. i just can’t hold it in any longer”.

tears form in matt’s eyes as he looks away. he draws in another deep breath before looking back at y/n. 

“from the first day of seventh grade, you have been my side through thick and thin. your bright personality has been able to make me come out of my shell more and it’s made me feel so much comfortable and happier around others and especially you”.

the rain slowly becomes heavier as matt takes y/n’s hands in his before continuing his confession.

“i honestly can’t imagine my life without you. you have made it so much better and easier and i can’t thank you enough. you are literally the centre of my universe, my world, my rock, my absolute everything”.

“matt, i-”

“i want to be more than friends. i want you to be mine so bad. so bad that it mentally, physically and emotionally hurts. i love you so much, will you please be mine?”

both matt and y/n are in tears, the feelings finally released after being held in for so long. matt looks into her eyes, waiting for an answer, an answer that he has been waiting for since the beginning of junior year. with a soft, trembling voice, y/n finally speaks.

“oh matty, the way i’ve been waiting to hear those words from you for so long. i fell in love with you from the moment we met but i got scared of ruining our friendship. now that you confessed to me, i want to confess something to you”.

she shuffles closer to him, their faces inches away from each other. 

“i love you matthew bernard, i’ll be yours forever and always”. 

she stands on her tippy toes, and in the pouring rain, they shared a passionate, electrifying kiss that sent shivers down their spines.

for that moment, the world faded away, leaving only the two of them standing in the rain, embracing their love as if it were the most beautiful thing in the world.

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 9]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Words: 4.8k

"Matt…how did you know where the window is?"

The words leave your lips and the entire mood of the apartment shifts. Matt's frame stiffens and fear begins to course through you. 

If the answer to the question was simple, he'd have no reason to react like he got caught in a lie, but that is exactly what he is doing. His posture is screaming that he knows you've realized something you shouldn't have, and it scares you. It scares you so much because you don't want Matt to be someone you can't trust. 

You want so so badly to trust him. Everything was going so well, and you don't want it to be ruined so early. You haven't prepared your heart for that disappointment and instinctively you wrap your arms around yourself to stave off any potential pain. 

"I can explain," Matt says, voice quiet and on the edge of pleading. He's looking at you with his own fear on his face and it triggers you to step back and away from him.

People have told you before that they can explain - that you are in the wrong for simply not understanding them - and it always ends with you hurt. So, you close your eyes and duck your chin to your chest and brace yourself for the metaphorical blow, whatever it may be. 

But there is only silence.

No more than a minute of nothingness passes, but it feels like an eternity. You force your eyes open and are shocked to see Matt looking absolutely devastated. Instead of standing tall and confident in himself, like you are so used to seeing, he has completely deflated. His shoulders are slumped and his head hung. You can practically feel the self hating energy coming off of him - it is something you are so familiar with. 

Guilt pools in your belly. You can't hurt him because of your distrust of others and past experiences - he's given you no reason to think anything he's doing is malicious or only self serving. 

So, you take the ball back into your court, squeezing your eyes back shut and taking a deep breath before asking, "should…should we sit?"

You hear him inhale sharply and you really, really hope you are doing the right thing. 

"Please?" 

He sounds like he's trying to not beg, and the knot forming in your stomach squeezes around your heart. 

"Can we sit on the couch?" You ask, motioning to it. You finally allow yourself to look at him again to see him nod. You lick your lips and hesitantly add, "it's about five feet to your left," before going to sit yourself. By the time you are sitting, Matt is at the back of the couch and moving around the side to sit next to you. You watch as his fingers brush along the back and arm, too anxious to dare to look at his face or the giant lasagna stain on his chest. 

You let him settle before asking again, in a calmer tone, "How did you know where the window was? And that it was open?"

You feel so accusatory, but he's told you before he has absolutely no light perception and in the panic of the moment, he closed the window without any hesitation or confusion. 

He rubs his hands over his knees before removing his glasses and setting them on the coffee table. He then leans back into the couch, while turning to face you, and to be respectful, you turn so you are facing him, though you keep your eyes down cast to your lap. 

"I was a child when I lost my eyesight," he starts slowly, and you try to keep your stomach from clenching. "And whatever it was that got in my eyes, it enhanced my other senses. It took what remained and pushed them past what normal people should be able to do. I could hear conversations from blocks away. I could figure out what people had for lunch the day before by the smell still in their breath. I could feel what was happening around me, based on air movement on my skin. And now…. Now I can…I can use all of that, all those inputs, to act as kind of a 3D map to determine things. Like a sonar, but instead of just sound reflecting back, it's a bit of everything. I can't see with my eyes, but I do know what is happening around me. That's how I knew where the window was. I could feel the breeze coming in. I could hear where the noise came in more clearly, versus the slight muffling of the wall. I could sense where the couch was based on the same factors."

You take in what he is trying to tell you and nod just a tiny bit. What he is saying makes sense - kind of. You know it's possible for other people's senses to strengthen when they lose one, but not nearly to the degree he is explaining. It is a hard concept to wrap your mind around. But you try. 

You can tell he's not used to explaining this and you can also tell he's waiting for you to be angry or upset with him. It's a feeling you are so very used to experiencing yourself - that you did something wrong, and the other person is going to leave. It's like it's tangible in the air.

You force your gaze up to Matt's face. His hazel eyes are truly windows to his soul, and he looks so scared that you are going to explode on him and your heart aches for him. You're by no means angry about him not telling you about this upfront - it's clear he's had issues with that in the past and it's not like you deserve to know all his trauma and secrets from day one just because you had his child. 

But you are still confused and do want to understand.

You turn so are facing him even more fully and force words from your throat, "Can I ask you some questions?"

Matt nods his head, jerky with it, "Yes, anything."

You can tell he means it, and that eases your own anxiety. You rub at your thighs, needing to transfer your internal anxieties outward, and go for the first thing that comes to mind. 

"You said…you can hear blocks away. What does that mean? You can hear everything in like...a two block radius?" You ask, hoping you aren't sounding like an absolute idiot.

Matt's lips twitch, like they want to go into a sad smile, but he keeps his face firmly in 'kicked puppy' territory, "A little more than two blocks. I haven't…tested the maximum range, but if I stand in the middle of Hell's Kitchen, I can hear almost all of it. Sort of - I learned to filter and push things into the background so it's not constant input. If I focus, I can hear the couple down the street debating about what they want for dinner. I can hear everyone in this building and the next. But it isn't just..." he trails off for a moment, biting his lip and wrinkling his brow. Like he's trying to figure out the right words. You wait, not wanting to rush him. 

"It isn't just a macro experience; it is also micro. I can hear the way the pipes in your kitchen are creaking. The way your shirt brushes against your skin. The differences in your breath as you exhale…I can hear your lungs expand and contract. I can... Hear your heart - it was beating fast a few moments ago but it's started to calm. Or you're trying to keep calm. I can... Tell your adrenaline and fear are still high. You're nervous and I don't blame you."

Your brows scrunch up in disbelief, "you can…hear my heartbeat?" You look down at your own chest, reaching up to place your hand over your heart. You can feel it beating rather hard, but as Matt said, you feel like you are calming down now that the two of you are talking. 

"I can hear your heartbeat," he confirms, then adds, "But I don't go around listening to those sorts of things. I try to give people their privacy."

That makes sense to you - you wouldn't want to constantly have to listen to people's body functions. 

The thought triggers another question. 

"Why aren't you a doctor?"

Matt opens his mouth as if to answer, then pauses as his expression morphs into bafflement. "What?"

"Why aren't you a doctor?" You repeat, then motion at him, "I mean, based on what you said, wouldn't it make sense to be a doctor?"

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, reminding you of a fish, before he shakes his head, finally, finally starting to smile again, "I, uh, never considered it. I've always wanted to be a lawyer, since I was a kid. I wanted to help people." He leans forward slightly, putting his elbows on his knees, "You learn I can hear your heartbeat and you ask why I'm not a doctor. Are you not…freaked out?"

"I mean, a little, yes," you admit with a shrug, "but also…" you look back down to your lap and clasp your hands together, squeezing a little too tightly, "You're telling me and…we're talking like adults about it. I get why you didn't tell me, and it's not like…it's not like it's something terrible. It's weird but…it's not the weirdest thing?" You bite into your lip, then, because your nature is to put everyone else's needs in front of yours, you can't help but ask, "Is there anything I can do to make things easier? I mean, is there anything in here that's too loud or something? Something I can adjust to make you more comfortable?"

He seems to need a minute to process what you are telling him before he shakes his head, "No. No, I've spent my life adjusting to everything." He takes a breath before his voice becomes a little softer, "I didn't want to hide this from you. Foggy and Karen know the truth and were helping me come up with a way to tell you that makes sense."

"You did a good job, it made sense," you quickly confirm. That makes him smile, just a little. 

"I'm glad... they are also helping me make a binder, like you made for me. About everything," he mimics you, motioning to himself. "I'm hoping it will help you with Minnie." 

You're confused at first why your daughter is mentioned, then the wheels quickly begin to turn. 

Memories flash in your mind of Minnie saying things are too loud - all her weird little complaints you've heard since she started being able to articulate - and your stomach starts to turn as things start to slot into place.

She inherited Matt's senses. 

It makes so much sense and you very suddenly feel like you need to throw up. 

You scramble to stand up, clamping your hands over your mouth. Matt shoots up so he is standing beside you, reaching out to touch your arm while saying your name in concern.

"She's been trying to tell me,” you choke out. All of the emotion of the day is crashing into you. Your eyes are stinging, and you can feel the tears gathering. 

You've been such an awful parent. 

How could you have not listened to what she was saying? Toddlers say weird things, but she's been consistent about what she tells you and you thought it was just her imagination or exaggerations. 

What has your poor baby been putting up with? 

The thought of her suffering because her senses are being overwhelmed and you not helping her pushes you over the edge and you begin to cry. 

Tears start to pour out of you and only years of training has you strangling the sob that tries to escape as well. 

You see Matt move through blurry eyes and suddenly you are wrapped in his arms, tucked under his chin like Minnie had been.

"It's okay," he whispers into your temple, holding you firmly against his chest. You want to struggle because you are not used to being held when you cry. You aren't used to being held at all. You aren't used to crying around other people. 

All of it is so much and it just makes you cry harder, awkwardly standing stiff as a board while Matt tries to comfort you. 

"It's okay," he repeats, and you manage to shake your head, because none of it is okay. It isn't.

You think of all the tantrums that have resulted from her being overstimulated and try to imagine how awful she must have been feeling. You get headaches from things being just a little too loud and that has been all of her life - and you have no idea how much she can hear. Can she hear blocks away like her father can? How many horrible things has she heard that you don't know about? 

How has it shaped her?

"Hey, hey, look at me," Matt says so softly you barely hear him over your own choked sobs. His hands go from holding you to his chest up to your face and he cups your jaw, gently forcing you to tilt your head up towards his. You squeeze your eyes shut, too ashamed of yourself to look right into his face. "You are an amazing mother. You care so much about Minnie and doing right by her. You said she's been trying to tell you and you've been listening. You have been. The headphones you got her? They do help. I promise you they help. Everything you do helps." 

There's a gentle pressure against your forehead, and you realize Matt is touching his to yours. You can feel his nose brushing against your own. "I asked her at the park the other day what helps when things start getting too loud. Do you know what she said?" 

You shake your head because you have no idea. You didn't even know they had talked without you present. 

What else didn't you know about your daughter?

"She listens to your heart. When things get too much for her, she finds the thing that centers her and soothes her and that's the sound of your heart." 

You try to process his words but it's another gut punch to your emotions. It's a swell of love for your sweet little angel with a mix of horror because how often has she needed to center herself on you? 

Matt smooths his thumbs over your cheeks, pushing away tears that are still streaming down them. "You take such good care of her. It blew my mind the first time we were all together, that you're so attentive and loving. You care so much. I didn't understand how I was so lucky that you were the one I got to have a child with. Someone with such a good heart. I thought you must have been mistaken because I certainly don't deserve you. I don't deserve Minnie. But you let me in and I have been praying that I can be a fraction of what a good parent you are. Minnie loves you so much. You've done so good with her. You didn't know about her senses, but how could you, and you still did so much to help her. And now that you do know, I know you'll do everything within your power to help her. And I will as well. I promise. It's okay. She's okay."

You try to focus on Matt's words, but it is so hard. Your crying is quickly cascading from emotional crying to being completely panicked anxiety crying. 

You aren't used to being comforted. You aren't used to people telling you it's okay and you did good. It's confusing and you don't know how to act. You don't know what you are supposed to do. 

Are you supposed to calm down? How do you calm down? How do you just stop crying?

And his hands are so warm on your face. They are surprisingly rough, but they feel good, petting you so gently. He's so close everywhere - you're still right against him from when he was holding you. You can taste his breath. 

It feels like he's right on top of you - he practically is - and you suddenly can't breathe. It feels like your esophagus has locked up and you can no longer swallow air. 

Fear surges up your spine and before it can take hold, a low resonating bong goes through your mind, telling you to go get a glass of water. 

It's something you've trained into your mind, taking years to perfect. 

To prevent a panic attack, drink a glass of water.

"I need water," you manage to say before pulling away from Matt and go purposefully to the kitchen, ordering yourself to not rush. You have a specific glass you use on these occasions and pull it from the top shelf. You hear Matt follow you into the kitchen, but you force yourself to focus on getting out your water pitcher and pouring your glass of water. Your hands are shaking and water is splashing on the side of the glass. 

Once it is full, you refill the pitcher and put it away, before returning to your glass. You drink slowly, taking a sip, swallowing, taking a breath, then repeating. Matt keeps his distance as he waits for you. He looks concerned and he keeps flexing his hands and you have to avert your gaze because it is making you anxious again. 

Tears are still streaming down your face but with each breath, you regain control of your emotions. You pull them back in and reorganize your thoughts. First, you must deal in facts.

Fact - Matt has enhanced senses due to the accident where he lost his eyesight. Fact - Matt is Minnie's father. Fact - Minnie inherited Matt's enhanced senses. Fact - having enhanced senses can be overwhelming for your daughter and it causes tantrums. 

These are your facts, one of which is a problem, the over stimulation, and you need to find a solution to it, but to find a solution you need to know the trigger. 

You finish your glass of water and set it in the sink to wash later, then turn to face Matt. He looks so worried, but now that you are looking at him, he perks up - attentive and waiting for you to address him.

You wonder what signals your body is giving him - can he sense your change in demeanor?

"Do you know what upset her at dinner? Why she started crying?" You ask, hoping you don't sound like a complete mess.

Matt nods quickly, ready to explain, "the building behind us on this block's fire alarm started going off. Based on what I can tell, a rat chewed through a wire and set it off somehow. The second tantrum was from a fire truck arriving - it had it's sirens going off "

You stare at Matt in wonder. You heard none of that. The window was wide open and you didn't hear a siren at all, and if you did you automatically put it into the background of your mind. 

"It was on the other side of the block," he says, like he knows exactly what you are thinking, "and we're facing the wrong direction. There's no chance you would have been able to hear it."

Your hands clench into fists at your side, dread starting to build up inside of you and threatening to pull more tears, "how can I protect her from things I can't hear?"

Matt's face softens into something understanding. He hesitantly steps forward, and as he reaches for you, you understand his love language is touch. He's trying to comfort you through touch, and by extension, comfort himself. This must be horrible for him, you realize with a start. He told you this big secret and you proceeded to freak the fuck out on him. 

He needs comfort as well. He needs someone telling him it's okay.

You're being so selfish again.

He touches your arm and begins to ghost his fingers up and down it, barely pushing at the sleeves of your T-shirt. The back of his fingers are rough, but the sensation isn't terrible. You are still so unsure what you are supposed to do, so you take a breath and take a small step closer to him then decide the best course of action is to ignore the petting.

"You can't protect her, but we can help give her the tools to protect herself. She was born with it and has adapted naturally. I had to be taught and have had a lifetime to learn. That's why I want to make that guide for you. I fully intended to tell you everything, and still do," he ducks his head and becomes almost sheepish, “I was just…trying to do it in the right way?"

You absorb his words and let them roll around in your mind, ignoring for now the implication there are more people with enhanced senses than just Matt. 

"You can teach her?" You confirm after a few moments.

"We can both teach her. I told you before, you've already helped so much. No one has ever gotten me sound proof headphones - and certainly not a dozen different pairs. We can talk to her together and she can tell us what she needs," he says and it does sound like he's thought this through. 

And that brings you comfort.

He has a plan. He's coming at this prepared and with research and consultants. 

He's committed. 

You don't need to search for a solution because he already has one.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and your shoulders relax.

A literal sigh of relief.

"Thank you," you whisper and Matt quickly shakes his head, but before you can say anything, the larger red stain on his shirt catches your eye again and your Mom brain activates. "Matt, your shirt!"

He looks down at his chest, clearly confused by the sudden change in conversation and tone, "what about my shirt?"

"There's lasagna all over it. It's going to stain so badly. Here, let me get you another shirt," you pull away from him and start hurrying towards the bedroom. You wipe at your tears as you call back to him, "I think I can still get the stain out. It's still wet."

In the bedroom, Minnie has rolled over and is now face down on her bed, sprawled out like a starfish. You know from that she will not be awake until morning. She must be so exhausted, your poor Mouse. Guilt swirls in your belly and you vow you're going to learn to help prevent this. 

You're not going to let her suffer any longer.

You look away from your daughter to rummage through your dresser. You grab one of your largest T-shirts and quickly leave the room, lest you disturb your daughter. You head back down the short hallway to the main living area, hoping what you got will be big enough for Matt. 

You look up from your musings as you come around the corner and freeze.

Matt's taken his shirt off.

You are very intimately aware that he was in shape before, but this is a different level. His muscles are well defined and his biceps are at least as big as Minnie's head. You've never seen someone with v-cut abs in person and you feel your cheeks start to heat up because you are only human and your brain is definitely short circuiting.

You force your eyes away from how his hips disappear into his pants and up his chest. 

There are scars, all across his torso, long and deliberate. They don't look surgical, even with the sight symmetry of some. Going over one of the smaller scars on his right side is a nasty bruise that seems to wrap around to his back. It looks painful and at least a few days old by the coloring.

Your instinct is to ask if he is alright, but you clamp it down. 

You understand. 

You understand this extension of trust, silent and hopeful but terrified, and you take it and cradle it to your heart. He will tell you in time. You have to trust him.

You have to trust whatever is blooming between the two of you. 

But does he really need to be so insanely hot? Was it not complicated enough?

Matt calls your name, breaking you out of your thoughts. He sounds more than a little smug.

"Sorry, it has been a long day. Um, I think this will fit you," you step forward and hold it out, asking as you do, "Do I need to tell you where it is or…?"

He shakes his head with a chuckle, and you wonder how many times people have asked him such questions, "You can just toss it at me. It's okay, I understand." 

You feel rude but do as you are told. He catches it easily, and after turning it over in his hands to orient it, pulls it on. 

"What's it got on it?" He asks, rubbing his hands over his chest to feel the screen print, unintentionally emphasizing how broad he is.

You blame your slight delay in response on your exhaustion.

"It's... got the word 'cosmos' on it with a galaxy print behind it. It's from that old science show with um...I don't know his name. I just remember something about the universe being a pie?" You answer, wishing you'd actually looked at what you had grabbed him.

But Matt nods anyways, like he understands what you mean, "Carl Sagan?"

The name rings a bell, and you shrug, honestly not remembering in the moment, "I think that's it, I never was a big science person but the shirt was free..."

He chuckles at your answer and you have to look away from him, shuffling towards the couch instead. It isn't fair how good he looks. The shirt is one you wear every so often to sleep and now you very much understand the trope of men enjoying women wearing their t-shirts and you've already experienced too many emotions today to try to process that.

You plop down and put your head into your hands. Exhaustion is creeping into your bones and your eyes ache from crying and it feels like you've been hit with the emotional equivalent of an eighteen wheeler. You feel the couch dip as he sits beside you and a moment later, Matt's fingers are tracing up and down your spine. It feels like a feather and instead of locking up at the touch, you find yourself slumping more.

"How're you doing?" He asks and part of you wants to laugh. 

"I don't know," you admit, "it is a lot to take in at once. I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing - with Minnie. With you. Not just with…your senses, but with everything. I don't want to mess up."

"You won't mess up," Matt assures you and he sounds so confident that you want to believe him. "Things might not always be easy, but you won't mess up. I believe in you." 

You don't know how to respond to that. You haven't had anyone tell you they believe in you in so long. It sends this sort of warmth through you that you don't understand and the only thing you can think of to do is hide your face more into your hands. 

He doesn't press for more as you both sit there. The silence somehow isn't awkward, even as minutes start to creep by. He continues to run his fingers up and down your back and it doesn't take long for your eyes to start to feel heavy. You tell yourself to get up, you still have to clean up the mess from dinner, but your body doesn't listen.

You just want to sit. 

All you want to do is just sit.

You'll get up in a minute. You just need to recharge. You keep telling yourself that, even as you feel your body start to sag and your thoughts start to fade in and out. You don't notice as your exhaustion starts to take over and you begin to drift - and you don't notice as Matt helps you lay down on the couch or when a blanket is draped over you. 

As your thoughts finally allow sleep to take over, the last thing your mind lets you process is the brush of lips against your temple and gentle words whispered against your skin. 

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[deviouz]

. . . late night devil (put your hands on me)

and never, never, never ever let go.

pairing: matthew murdock x fem!reader

summary: matthew murdock was an enigma. how could someone love you so dearly yet shatter your very soul?

warnings: mostly angst with smut sprinkled in, slight toxicity in the relationship(?), matt thinks sex will make up for everything ):

you weren’t sure why you had let him back in.

maybe it was the way he made you feel safe, like you were bulletproof whenever he was by your side. he was so attentive in that way, always knowing just what to say to satiate that hesitant, unsure voice ringing in the back of your head. he kept things quiet, made the bad thoughts go away just by smiling wife enough you could see it go up to his eyes, crinkling on either side of the chestnut brown irises that flecked with gold whenever the sun hit them just right.

it could be the way his words made you feel like you were absolutely, irrevocably made for him and him alone. he could sing sonnets so easily. he’d hold you close, voice just a whisper in your ear, and you swore he’d hear the metaphorical butterflies in your stomach eventually. he’d tease you on the way your heart fluttered with every praise and announcement of his love. you knew he loved you. that much was evident by the way he’d hold you so closely, like he thought you’d disappear if he let up even just a little. your reassurances did little to soothe the pain in his heart. he knew he wouldn’t have you forever. the murdock luck simply wouldn’t allow it.

it killed you to see him come back all bruised and battered, bruises painted across ivory skin. he was breakable, could be taken away from you just like that. you’d only ever breakdown after he was blocks away, all patched up and ready to go. the sobs you would let out echoed in his mind, reverberating throughout his very being. it haunted him at night knowing he was the one who caused you so much grief.

matt just couldn’t help himself.

his heart felt fuller each time you welcomed him back with open arms. he’d like to think he makes up for the sorrow every now and again. his penance, if you will.

he treated you like an alter. matt would repent, spending hours between your legs, strong arms wrapped around your thighs as he took you apart with his lips and tongue. he would devote himself to you entirely. there was nothing else — just you and him.

the way he had you calling his name so loudly, wantonly was so sinful. matt would beg for your forgiveness in his own way. he’d have you seeing stars, the feeling of his fingers buried deep in your heat so prominent you were sure you’d be absolutely ruined for anyone else.

matthew murdock was a devil disguised as an angel, and you were his saving grace.

he’d atone for his sins and consecrate everything he had to devote himself to you entirely. with every plea and desperate cry of his name, he’d fall harder.

you let him back in because you were no better than he was. you needed him just as badly as he needed you.

for the pain and turmoil the devil of hell’s kitchen caused you, matthew, your matthew, would make up for it. caged between his arms, legs wrapped tightly around his waist, foreheads touching as you both sanctified your love for each other.

and as you watched him stumble into your bedroom, pitifully dropping to his knees before you, all of the anger and pain and resentment washed away.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

you’d let him press his face into your stomach, kevlar-bladder arms holding you close. you weren’t going to disappear. how could you? you both needed each other more than anything in the world. nothing else could suffice — hell, nothing else could even come close.

“i know you are, matthew.”

the tears didn’t take long to crest down your cheeks, the corners of your lips turned upwards into a sad, saccharine smile.

“let me make it up to you. let-let me show you how much you mean to me.”

the mask came off, the red horns and devilish eyes thrown across the room. there he was. your matthew.

“okay.”

you could never let go.

[yuri-is-online]

Hello hello! Anon here. First of all, congratulations on getting accepted for your courses! Don't worry about trying to balance work and the blog, we will always be here waiting for you. Second of all, your whole Yutu AU has been really fascinating to look through. (Though that may be because of my bias toward Fire Emblem Awakening, as it was what got me into the series) Sorry for the incoming wall of text, but it's been giving me THOUGHTS.

So imagine this: whoever Yutu's dad is (I'll pick Azul for this example because I headcannon his English voice somewhere between Matt Mercer's Chrom and Olivert from The Legend of Heroes games) finds out who Yutu really is. You remember that cutscene after Chapter 13 in Awakening, with the Lucina reveal and Chrom has this: "You deserved better than a sword and a world full of troubles. I'm sorry."? Imagine Yutu hearing something like that: the acknowledgement of everything he's gone through, the pain of knowing his dad couldn't do anything and can't do anything more than offer words, and the reality that it might now be really possible to change the future? I imagine Azul breaking down after hearing all that because the last thing he wants to do is hurt Yuu or his son after everything he's been through. Oh goodness, the two of them both need hugs.

Second: did Crowley tip off the Magic Marshalls (because I think he would) and force Yuu to take the blame for his negligence (because he absolutely would)? Now imagine Yutu finding this out and telling his dad. Now his dad knows Crowley is a cheapskate who fobs his work onto everyone else without a second thought. And now he's responsible for having Yuu taken away and starting all this? Knowing the boys and how far they would go for Yuu I'd imagine they don't take that well. In other words, to slightly alter a quote from Regina in Once Upon A Time: "I guess killing a crow suddenly made the top of my to-do list."

Sorry for the wall of text but that's been rattling around in my head for a few days (so make of it all what you will). Hope you're doing well and looking forward to what's next!

-The anon who loves Riddle & Azul

AHHHHH (i feel like I always take forever to answer your asks I am sosososososososososo sorry, this one just drove me crazy in a good good way)

Listen fire emblem awakening was my entire personality for like all of middle school.  The only thing i wanted to talk about was chrobin.  I celebrated Morgan and Lucina's birthdays by drawing them. I think I still have a Cherche x Libra fan art thing I drew on some sheet of paper somewhere in my things because I was SO MAD that no one shipped them and I couldn't find fan art of them anywhere and I just oooooooooooh.  THE WAY CHROM GETS A NEW CRIT LINE ABOUT HOW ANYTHING CAN CHANGE AFTER THE REVEAL???? BECAUSE OF HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO KEEP THAT PROMISE AND GIVE LUCINA A BETTER WORLD???? i just cant be normal about them i am so sorry.  R+A annon I love you, I love you so much for this you made my entire month and possibly my year.  Awakening is also what got me into the series and made me so many friends I just love her so much.  She's an icon and I hope she gets remastered with Sumia either deleted or with a fucking personality.

I should probably sit down and actually write a timeline for myself of events, but since I am free to lean in to the fire emblem pacing, I want to say that monsters from Yutu's timeline start showing up (similar to how the Risen do in Awakening) in the past and stirring up trouble, which leads to an event where Yutu panics and forgets himself in his desperation to protect his dad.  The main way the future kids always proved themselves was by showing their mother's wedding ring, but Yutu doesn't have that so really it's just up to his dad to see someone who looks like him and Yuu blended together, supposedly from Yuu's world using magic and above all else crying out and driving up his own blot levels to protect him calling him dad. For Azul! Yutu it's especially painful, he feels like he already knows what his dad is going to say. That he's disappointed in him. That he has no idea how they could possibly be related. That he hopes in this future he turns out to be different. But that's not what happens.

Before Azul overblotted he was quiet. There's a similar quiet over him now, a similar look of tense surprise, but Yutu- no- his child doesn't know that. His child is looking at him in fear, in worry for his reaction or his safety he doesn't know but he knows the way those tears start to form. Azul knows the quiver of the lip and the shriek, of all the things he could have passed on to such a treasure.

"You deserved better from me." Because it's true. He might think of himself as a work in progress but he still thinks he has quality; he would have done research, read every book he could get his hands on, taken classes, anything he would need to do to be a good father, a worthy partner. Anything. "You deserved to have the world within your grasp, not whatever shadow of a future and a father I left you with. I am so sorry." He does not expect Yutu to grab him and hold him like he's still somehow worthy of his love, but Azul can't fight the urge to grab back, to stroke his son's hair and let the tears fall on his suit without any care at all. I'm here. It's ok, daddy's here, daddy's got you, he won't let anything happen to you.

As for your second question, I did not really write Crowley like that no. It was more like he was the first person mysteriously arrested after the Magical Marshall's decided to finally do their job. I was writing it like they wanted to ship Yuu away to cover up for their own incompetence in preventing seven overblots instead of properly investigating what might have caused that. He's not completely innocent though, so yes. The boys do not take it well at all. And please do not apologize for sending in your thoughts, I am so so slow but I love hearing from you.

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝖯𝗍. 3)

Disclaimer: Hate hate hate this chapter but some of y'all were getting mean so here is chapter 3. I think it's trash. My motivation has been shit lately so we'll see where this story goes.

Synopsis: Y/n runs away from her problems

Warnings: Language, heroin use, angst, 18+

Word Count: 2.8k+

Chris’s POV

I swear I was going to lose my fucking my mind in this tiny concrete room. I hadn’t even been in here for two hours and the anxiety was taking over. The cop sat at his desk, sipping his coffee loudly while watching a football game on a small tv that faced away from me. I was going to have to sit here until Monday morning and all I had to do was think. 

A million thoughts ran through my head. I’m sure Matt and Nick already called our parents and they were going to be pissed beyond belief. Luckily our podcast was pre-recorded but if I’m not out soon news is going to get around that I’m in here. But most of all, I thought about Y/n. She seemed so upset. I knew she was blaming herself for this and I prayed she wouldn’t do anything stupid. I know how vulnerable she can get when she’s down. But I know Matt and Nick will look out for her.

“Yo, don’t I get a phone call or something?” I asked the cop.

He responded with a long sigh, as if my question was making his entire job more difficult. I furrowed my brows at him, awaiting his response. “Fine.” He finally said. He got up and unlocked the cell door before leading me over to the phone. “You got two minutes, kid.”

I nodded and picked up the phone. I dialed Nick’s number, knowing he was most likely to answer.

“Hello?”

“Nick? Hey! It’s Chris!”

“Chris! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I responded. I could hear Matt in the background and Nick switched his phone to speaker.

“Chris, we'll bond you out first thing after your hearing on Monday! Mom and dad already hired a lawyer.” Matt said.

I sighed, knowing how disappointed they were going to be. “Cool. Cool. Uhhh can I talk to Y/n?”

Matt and Nick were both silent for a few moments. “Uhm…she’s not here…”

“Well where is she?”

“I’m not sure…”

I could hear the change in Nicks voice. Something was wrong. “What’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”

“Well…She uhm…Her and Matt kind of-”

“I kicked her out!”

“You did what?!”

“She’s always gotten you into trouble, Chris. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to see you ruin your life over her. I know you’re like in love with her or whatever but-”

“Go find her. Now!” I spat. “You don’t fucking understand, Matt. You don’t fucking understand what you did! Go find her and make sure she is fucking safe!”

“Chris, what do you mean?”

“Now!” I slammed the phone down on the receiver.

“Watch it!” The cop said. I bit my tongue and followed him back to my cell. 

I sat in the corner of the tiny bed and buried my head in my knees, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I loved Y/n more than anything in the entire world and I knew her better than anyone. I was the only one who knew she experimented with opioids. I tried them with her but I noticed how she started using them to numb her pain and I quit. After having to Narcan her TWICE I made her promise to never touch them again. I threatened to tell her parents. I told her I would take her to rehab. She begged me not to. I know I should have but she swore to me she wouldn’t touch them again. I helped her through her withdrawals and over the last two years she’d been true to her word as far as I knew. I mean I was with her most of the time and never saw her use or act shady. But now I wasn’t there when she needed me and who knows what Matt said to her. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. My whole body was shaking with anxiety.

Y/n’s POV

“Y/n! Y/N!” Danny yelled, kicking my foot. I jolted awake and struggled to see through blurred vision. I rubbed my eyes and slowly took in my surroundings as an overwhelming wave of nausea took over my body. 

“Ugh, what?” 

“Your phone’s been ringing non stop! Fucking answer it or turn it off. It’s annoying.”

I felt for my phone as previous events returned to my memory. Chris was arrested. I got in a fight with Matt. One thing led to the next and I somehow ended up at Danny’s house smacked out of my mind. I wasn’t proud of this. But remembering what Matt said to me, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. 

My phone started ringing again and I was able to find it between the cushions of Danny’s old, cigarette stained couch. The screen lit up with Matt’s name and I could feel the bile rising in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door quickly behind me. I sat on the floor, heaving over the toilet, but not much came out. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I didn’t even know what day it was. I sat back and pulled out my phone. 13 missed calls from Matt and Nick combined. 5 from my mother along with three texts asking where I was. A missed call from an unknown number. To top it all off, it was 6:23 pm on Sunday. What the hell had happened in the last day and a half? 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess, a stained crop top clung to my malnourished frame and a pair of baggy sweatpants (that didn’t belong to me) were tied tightly to my waist. I looked at the fresh track marks on my arm, a trail of dried blood leading halfway down my forearm. I was disappointed in myself. I promised Chris I would never go back to this. But it was too late now. I pulled my phone back out, ignoring all the messages from Matt and Nick and opening the text thread with my mom. I typed out a quick message. 

Hey mom, I’m fine. Haven’t been feeling great this weekend so I’ve been sleeping. Didn’t mean to worry you.

Not three seconds after I sent it, she was calling me. I sighed, really not in any head space to talk to her but I knew I was already on her last nerve so I took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?” I definitely sounded sick.

“Y/n! Honey! Where are you?! Are you okay?!”

“I-I’m fine, mom. I’m at home. I’m just a little sick.”

“Nick and Matt said you weren’t at your house! They were just there!”

Fuck. Why the fuck had they come by?

“I just stepped out to get some medicine. I just got back.” I lied.

The lie seemed to calm her down a bit. “MaryLou told us what happened to Chris. We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.” 

“Yeah, mom. I’m fine. Matt and Nick are going to bail him out tomorrow.” I felt nauseous again thinking about it. I didn’t know what to expect when Chris got out. I wasn’t great with confrontation and after the situation with Matt and relapsing with Danny, I didn’t really want to face Chris. “Uhm, mom, some friends asked me to go camping for a few days. So my service might be spotty.”

“I thought you were sick?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just like food poisoning or something. I should be better by tomorrow. But I’ll call you when I can, okay?”

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay? If something is wrong you can tell us, we can come out there…”

“No, I’m fine mom. I promise. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you!”

With that, I hung up on her and quickly exited the bathroom. “Danny, let’s go.”

“Go where?” He asked. 

“I-I don’t know. San Diego or something? I just need to get out of here before Chris gets out tomorrow?”

“Why? I thought you looooved him.” Danny mocked. “You’ve been mumbling about him non stop.” He sighed and sat back.

Danny liked you. That wasn’t a secret. He wasn’t bad looking. But he was a “bad boy”. His main job was drug dealing. He hung around with shady people, did shady shit, and hated on people like the Sturniolo’s for being in the public eye. Even though you were getting into your modeling career, Danny didn’t seem to care. You didn’t believe Danny’s feelings were deep. You didn’t believe Danny was capable of deep feelings or love. But you were hot and you had him wrapped around your finger.

“I-I can’t face Chris like this. I just want to get away from here. Please?” 

“My cousin has a condo down in Chula Vista. It’s right by the beach. I could call him.”

“Okay. I’m gonna run to my apartment and grab some things.”

I left Danny’s apartment, and ran up to mine. I grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and grabbed some clothes, a toothbrush, and some deodorant. The basic necessities. I was almost done packing when I heard a knock on my door. 

“Coming!” I said, assuming it was Danny. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door. I swung it open, ready to go but stopped in my tracks when I saw Matt standing in front of me. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked.

It was hard to find my voice. My mind was a mess and my body was hurting. I needed a fix. “Uhm- Camping. With some friends.”

“Camping with friends. What friends?” Matt asked, stepping into my apartment now. 

“Just some friends. You don’t know them.” It was somewhat true. Nick and Matt didn’t know Danny. Hence why they couldn’t find me earlier. But lying to my mom about camping with friends was one thing. She didn’t know my social circle out here. Chris, Nick, and Matt on the other hand, pretty much were my social circle. We shared the same friends. If I really was to go camping with friends, chances are they’d be coming too. 

“Look, Y/n. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…I was just upset and it was wrong of me to blame it on you.” I didn’t know how to respond so I just looked to the floor. “Chris is really going to want to see you tomorrow and-” He stopped, noticing my arms. He grabbed my wrist and yanked my arm into view. “Y/n, what the fuck happened to your arms?! Have you been shooting up?!”

“Ready to go, Princess? My cousin said-” Danny appeared in my doorway. “Well look what the cat dragged in.” Danny said with his skeezy smile. 

Matt looked him up and down before looking back at me. Danny had on tight jeans with chains and a sleeveless band shirt. He reeked of cigarette smoke and I knew Matt was judging me.

“This is who you’re going camping with?” Matt asked.

“Look, I gotta go…” I said pushing past Matt and locking my door. 

“So you’re just going to dip out on Chris?” Matt asks. “Come on Y/n. You’re better than this guy!”

“Excuse me?” Danny asks, turning to face Matt. I step in front of Danny, putting my hand on his chest. 

“Matt. You said it yourself. I’m no good for Chris…” 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. I gotta go. Take care of him, okay?” 

With that, I grabbed Danny’s hand and pulled him along with me down to his car to avoid any further conversation with Matt. I noticed his van with Nick inside sitting in the parking lot. He looked confused. I looked away and climbed into Danny’s car, urging him to drive away. 

Danny offered me a cigarette and I took it. Remaining quiet as I sparked it. He didn’t ask questions. But he did place his hand on my knee as he drove. “You don’t need them, Princess. I’ll take care of you.”

The words made my stomach twist into a knot. I wanted Chris. But Matt was right. I didn’t deserve him. I was exactly where I deserved to be. “You got any more dope?” 

“Gonna pick some up on our way, don’t worry.” He smiled at me. I attempted a half ass smile as I bit back the urge to cry. I looked down at my phone, studying the photo of me and Chris I had set as my wallpaper. It was a silly photo of us in highschool. We were both laughing, I was on Chris’s back as he ran down the hall with me. It was a time in my life I was truly happy. 

I shut my phone off and threw it in my bag, focusing on the world passing by through the window of Danny’s old BMW. I knew this wasn’t the right move but I was never good at confronting my problems and the promise of an escape and drugs was enough to leave LA and Chris behind me.

Chris’s POV

I sat silently while the judge went over my charges. Cameron Jacobs and his family sat and watched with smug looks on their faces. Matt and Nick sat on the opposite side of the courtroom, ready to bail me out. I was disappointed when they showed up without Y/n. 

The judge set my bond to $5,000 and gave me another court date. By noon, I was gathering my things and climbing into the van. Nick was hounding me with questions while Matt remained relatively quiet. 

“So where’s Y/n?” I asked, no longer wanting to think about the trouble I was in or the fact that I would have to call my parents when I got home and get my ass chewed out, or the fact that we were out five grand. “Why didn’t she come?” My voice cracked.

Nick looked at Matt, seeing if he would admit what happened. Matt remained silent. “Matt…”

“Where is she, Matt?” I asked. 

“Look Chris-”

“No tell me the fucking truth! It’s your fault she fucking left in the first place. Where is she?!”

Matt sighed. “I went to her place last night. She left with some sleaze bag. Said she was going camping…” 

“Dude with combat boots, covered in shitty tattoos, smelled like cigarettes?” I asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Danny.” I hissed. He was such a piece of shit. Always trying to get in Y/n’s pants. He was a slimy drug dealer and now she was God knows where with him. 

“She had, uhm…she had track marks on her arms…” Matt said. 

I tried to take a deep breath but I was beyond livid. “Pull over.” I said as calmly as I could. 

“What? Why?” Nick asked.

“Pull the fucking car over!” 

Matt did as I asked and I climbed out, slamming the door behind me before walking off down the street. 

“Chris! Where are you going?!” Matt asked as him and Nick chased after me. I really didn’t want to be near him right now.

“Fuck off, Matt!” 

“You have to fucking talk to me, man!” He said, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at him. I pushed him off of me and Nick was quick to catch him before he fell. 

“This is your fucking fault!” I yelled. “Why the fuck would you say those things to her, Matt? She’s been our best friend our whole lives! This is your fucking fault!”

“I was just looking out for you! It’s not my fault she’s a drug addict, man!”

I threw myself at Matt, punching him in the eye. He fought back but it didn’t last long before Nick was separating us. 

“Stop it! What the hell is the matter with you guys?!” Nick yelled. “Chris, you just got out of jail for fucking assault. Beating up your own brother isn’t going to get you anywhere! And Matt, you were wrong for what you said to Y/n. But we aren’t going to find her if you end up back in jail and don’t work together. So both of you get in the fucking car and let’s go home and figure something out.”

As much as I hated Matt right now, Nick was right. All I really cared about was finding Y/n and I was going to need help doing that. I climbed back into the car silently and endured the ride home. I had tried texting and calling Y/n earlier but it went straight to voicemail. I typed out one more text. 

Y/n, please be okay. I’m so worried about you. Fuck whatever Matt said. You mean everything to me. Please just text me back when you get this so I know you’re okay. I love you…

Tags:@strniohoeee@daisysturniolo.@justangelheree@flowerxbunnie@recklesssturniolo@lustfulslxt@mangosrar@bluesturniolo333@christinarowie332@kenzieiskoolaid@sturniolopepsi@mattenthusiast@ilovecrazymen@sturnphilia@poopydroopt@miaakenn

[sonderessence]

IFHY ... aki x fem black reader

warnings / contains: smoking, angst, reader/y/n uses she / her pronouns

synopsis: aki fucking hates how you make him feel.

✞ NOW PLAYING: IFHY, tyler the creator (ft. pharrell williams)

aki hated you.

he hated the way you made him feel, he hated the way he couldn't even look you in the eye when speaking to you.

he hated the way you looked at him with such admiration, he hated the way he couldn't think when he was around you, the way his heart fluttered at the slightest touch from you.

he hated the way your thighs were like drugs to him — all he could think about was his head in between your pretty thighs, his name rolling perfectly off your tongue as you grabbed onto his matte black hair, you chanting his name like a he's a god.

he hated the way you lighted up a room when you walked in it, smiling at every person who smiled back at you.

he hated the way you were so sweet and kind to power and denji, how they would tease him for his little " crush " on you behind your back.

he hated the way he thought of you, seeing you beautiful curves in that dress, that damn dress that he loved the most.

he hated how his mind was clouded with you — your smile, your curls, you body, you.

and there he was, blankly staring at you as you danced the night away on the club dance floor, no clue that aki was watching you.

you swayed you hips to the beat of the music, just you in your own world. god, he wanted to fuck you so bad, the thought of you whining beneath him as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear — and he was fucking hard again.

he hated the fact that he was too much of a pussy to tell you how he felt, only watching from afar with pain. all he wanted was you, and you were right there, right there for him.

you body swayed to the rythm of the music, alchol in your system and a wide grin on your face as you noticed aki staring in the distance.

he looked tired, he looked....off.

you ran up to him gleaming with joy. "akiii!" you called out "hey! didn't see you there!"

aki looked startled when he broke out of his trance, now noticing that you were right there in front of him. you looked even more beautiful up close.

aki muttered up a small 'hey' and smiled, despite how much his heart hurt.

"soooo," you dragged you the word as you sat on one of the stools. "what are you doing here? you coulda called 'n told me you were here!" you giggled.

"i didn't see you here." aki lied simply, he didn't know what to say to you at the moment, he was to drunk to comprehend why he was even here to begin with.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, his head spinning as he tried to focus on something else that wasn't you. you were like a drug to him — what he didn't need right now.

aki was known as the "uptight grumpy guy" according to power, and wasn't the first person you'd think would be obsessed with an outgoing young woman like yourself.

he grabbed a cigar from his back pocket, same brand he always got. one thing you remembered while working with him.

"y'know," you turned to him, pursing your lips together "you're gonna end up in the hospital 'cause of those."

"hm." was aki's response as he lit the deathly drug between his lips and took a long drag.

"are you okay, aki?" you asked softly, clearly worried. the music playing in the bar had died down, so he could hear you clearer than before.

"yes." aki answered, even thought he wanted to say no and pour his whole heart out to you.

"you don't look like it-"

"why do you care?"

"why do i care?" you scoffed "i'm worried aki, you look like you haven't slept in days." your voice was stern, and he could tell he disappointed you — and he hated that he did.

his hands shook and his leg bounced up and down, occasionally hitting the bottom of the counter. "m'sorry." he mumbled, his words slurred as he looked at the counter "things have been...pretty tough these past couple of weeks"

you sighed, resting your hand on his, which made him flinch. "why didn't you tell me? i could've helped..."

his heart ached. he wanted to tell you how he felt — but something stopped him. why? why couldn't he speak? why couldn't he tell you the truth to end this dark path he'd gone through?

"'m gonna go home." aki stood up, stumbling out the door. "w-wait!" you called out, following after him. "aki!"

you frowned, walking with him to his car. "you can't drive in this condition! you're piss drunk!"

"at least let me drive you..." you sighed, reaching a hand out towards his shaky ones. you could tell he was panicky, something you never saw in him.

"'cmon..." you didn't wait for him to answer, grabbing his hand and walking him to his car. you jumped in the drivers seat, grabbing aki's car keys and starting it when he got in.

the drive to aki's place was dead silent. he tried to calm himself down, drowning out the sounds blaring in his ears. he could feel you stare at him every chance you got, every red light you would glance at him with worry in your eyes. he didn't want you to worry.

"all right," you sighed, parking the car on his driveway and getting out. you walked over to drunk aki and offered a hand towards him, he was hesitant at first, but grabbed your hand and got out of the car.

aki's place hasn't changed, you weren't there often but whenever you would visit it always looked the same.

"you should go..." aki said sternly, not daring to look you in the eyes.

"i'm not doing that." you answered in the same tone. he sighed, knowing how you were, you wouldn't dare leave him in this condition.

he chuckled softly at your stubbornness, same as always.

aki didn't know what to say, and neither did you. you two just stood there in the middle of his living room.

you frowned, walking up to your "friend" and looking into his tired indigo eyes. "you can tell me what's wrong, aki." could he? why did he make this more complicated than it needed to be?

he took a shaky breath, looking back at you. he wanted to kiss you, so so bad. he loved you, but he didn't know if you felt the same way.

"im just tired..." he sighed.

"then sleep." you smiled softly, aki quietly chuckling at your smart remark.

"your right..." he looked deep into you eyes. "do you want to...stay...?"

you smiled softly "sure"

a/n: don't know how to end this 💪🏾

©bachirasegoist, 2023 — do not steal or copy works